#<- first time coming up with a rant tag so this might change

[ragecndybars]

i get the justification for them but i'm getting tired of posts that scold others for things like "giving studios free marketing" when what's really happening is literally just that people were excited for XYZ thing to come out and so they... talked about it online. Or drew art. Or whatever else.

like. what a fucking bleak perspective. to imply that you have to repress your excitement for something or keep it behind closed doors because otherwise you're somehow playing into the dirty capitalists' hands or whatever. like don't get me wrong! i understand the frustration somewhat, especially when a social media trend then causes the studios to do something dumb, like how morbius memes convinced them to let it flop a second time or how the barbie movie buzz is going to lead to a ton of other probably shitty mattel copyrighted films. i get it.

but like. that's on the studios. that's on the people at the top who think they can strike gold twice. it's absolutely not on the people who just thought the morbius memes were funny or really loved the barbie movie. and to get mad at them is almost insidious to me. like. if we can't even get excited on social media about things anymore then what the fuck else can we do? be miserable and complain?

idk i'm probably overreacting but i think it's so weird to claim that it's on social media users and artists and people who watch movies to somehow keep media giants in check, or that people's genuine excitement and art or even just their silly little memes are nothing more than """free advertising""". idk.

[twost3ps]

This boy has been in the drafts for like a month

I'm feeling like I want an Adam sandwich with two slices of Morningstar brothers so you guys are going to hear me out on my LucifurxAdamxMicheal au (and I mean it in a they both share Adam in the end :3 ) In general I'm calling the ship ✨️GuitarStars✨️ boooyaaa I feel like there might be a better name for it but idk

(Also I’ve noticed there is complaint for guitarhero in the adamsapple tag. I'm tagging this post as adamsapple this once of it but post related to this with both brothers will be counted as #guitarstars.

I also completely agree with the complaints. There is a problem with the tagging so this is a very quick reminder to please tag properly!!! Ik it's not meant to be harmful bcz most guitarhero shippers are also adamsapple as well. But i will admit there has been a lot of unecessary tagging (i am guilty of this im so sorry qwq) so please be mindful!!!! Ik this post might go agaisnt that but its just this post i swear sorrryyyy)

ANYWAYS The actual au:

For now I'm calling the au- Angels on My Shoulder (I can't think of a good title rn grrr)

quick sketchs so you get the idea

General prompt:

Adam respawns as a human with all his memories. He lives a normal happy life until he turns 21 when two angels (Micheal and Lucifer) appear on his shoulders with a mission: try convince him into making certain decisions so that he ensures a spot in heaven or hell.

That doesn’t work out very well because adam hates how theyre forcing their ideals onto him one way or another. He doesnt really want to think about heaven or hell anytime soon. Heaven or hell seems like complete torture to him. The fact that he didn't like either of them before he respawned doesn't help.

A revelation happens and both brothers realize it's not gonna work on their terms so they're gonna have to earn his favor first before trying anything. One of the ways is talking it out beacuse adam had expressed several times over that, while at first it was funny, their bickering needs to die because it's getting annoying.

They talk it out. They make up. It takes a whole but they become close again. They try to earn adams favor in the meantime and between time. Everything is at peace. As time goes on though, the wooing is no longer for just adams favor, its now romantic. Both develop feelings for Adam. And since now they made up both made up they are very willing to share him.

The og goal is completely lost. Gone with the dirt and dust. And now what was once a competition to get Adam into heaven or hell has spiraled into heaven and hell trying to get into Adam. If you catch my drift.

Do they get in there?

God bless they do

(Ps they start off as small little mascots but then later grow into their normal form and an added human form. Adam Prefers the small mascots though)

My in-depth of the au that is very subject to change I just wanted to rant is under the cut o3o

So when Adam had died, he respawned onto earth. Born into a normal family and all that jazz. He lives life as normal and has comes to terms with it. He actually loves his life. He doesn’t have to walk on eggshells anymore and lives as normal. He’s not insanely good or insanely bad, he’s just a guy.

A guy who is very happy with himself. After graduating he becomes a national park ranger.

Heaven and hell both know of adams soul, but contant cant be initiated till he turns 21 (It was recognized because I wanna say 21 would be the age Adam technically was in his creation during Eden, and thats when he can process divinity without his body tweaking as if he were any other mortal. Souls grow along with age and all that drama, adams soul in eden was strong enough to stand the sheer power of a seraphims presence) both sides made it their immediate duty to guide him to their path.

Sera wanted Adam in heaven to clear her mind- to have heaven back to perfection with the original perfection creation (also to have her son back, but she's not ready to unpack that for herself.)

Lucifur wanted adam as he could punish him directly for hurting Charlie and her friends. A little tiny part of him also really wants Adam all for himself grrryrvgrvsgrs

So both heaven and hell spawn a representative guide for Adam to follow once his soul is ready to guide. Lucifur nominated himself and Sera nominated Micheal who agreed.

For some reason (probably amix of earth and god or sumn), Adam's presence nulls the powers of both angels and devils. So the first time they appear, Micheal and lucifur appear as small tiny mascots on Adam’s shoulder.

(Adam has flicked both of them away several times and they can't really do anything about it other than fly back and try again)

Both sides had the same idea and Adam connects the dots very fast on why they are here without them telling him. And he's pissed.

His normal life is now ruined.

Adam actually really hates both Lucifur and Micheal. Lucifur for obvious reasons and Micheal because he's just so nitpickey. Micheal had trained Adam in the past and that guy was brutal. Adam understood part of it was with Lucifurs falling and their brother thing and whatever but god daymn bro needed to chill. If Sera was on him like a hawk Micheal had been on him like a spy camera from space monitored by the secret service. In a way, both devalued adams emotions to some capacity so Adam hated both of them equally. Nothing Adam could do about it though because he was human.

In the beginning, both micheal and lucifur kept it really formal between them. Its strained but neither brother imposes on what the other one advises. That doesn’t stay for too long. The formalities between Lucifur and Micheal die pretty quickly. Under 2 months tops. While both are very old and very much adults, they are, first and foremost, SIBLINGS.

Both begin talking over eachother, butting in, shoving eachother. It's like pre eden all over again between the two on who is better. Most of the time they argue about the most random topics forgetting their og purpose.

After one year of enduring both of their bs, Adam feels like he has a dog and a cat rather than two otherworldly gaurdians monitoring his every move.

He doesn't complain though. After a while he's learned to tune them out. He also finds it incredibly entertaining watching the literal devil fight with the a high angel while being incredibly small. And with no powers it resorts to petty slapping. He's gotten pretty used to it....

Except when it comes to them making him choose what actions he takes.

They're always on him about everything. It sucks so much ass. Everything Adam tries to do something good, Lucifur tells him that it's stupid, that he should be more selfish and blocks Adam. He keeps on telling him that deep down adam really isnt all that, and why should he try and do good when everyone knows that hes not really that. Micheal does the same thing in reverse. When Adam does something considered bad, Micheal raves on how he'll go to hell. That Adam was made in perfection and must reach that perfection. That heaven is waiting for him and is available only if he keeps on doing good.

It makes Adam so mad when they remember what they're trying to do.

Adam doesn’t listen to either angel because after living part of his life as just a normal person, he’s come to realize he doesn’t want to think about living life wondering if he’s going to heaven or hell. Adam does not want to face eternal punishment or be in hell. He still really hates sinners, and while the blood hungry killer part of him died with his second life, he still thinks that the majority of those sinners are disgusting to say the least. But he doesn’t want to walk eggshells to be virtuous enough to enter heaven. Heaven, for all its greatness got tiring after 1000s of years. He's grown tired- already hated hell and grew to hate heaven. He doesn’t want to think about either, he doesn’t want those ideas to deter him from choosing what he wants to do. He wants to make both good and bad decisions without an angel watching over him. He wants to be able to make both good and bad decisions. He makes this very clear after a breakdown.

It becomes less of a competition over making Adam choose and more of getting into Adam’s favor after that because their first tactic is clearly not working.

So both agree that they will have to earn adams favor before making him do anything.

But in order to get adams favor both have to learn to get along because it had become one of Adam's biggest gripes. Funny at first, but the bickering and arguments got tiring after the course of a few years.

So they do attempt to make up. Genuinely. It's hard and its tough. Theres a lot there to unpack. But both jnkw that if they don't do this Adam is not going to listen to either of them because getting along has go go both ways.

And they do make up.

By the time Adam is in his early 30s, the close proximity and a lot of Adam yelling to sort it out, allowed for some slow but needed time to talk it out. They would do it infront of Adam who was the mediator, but they mostly would talk when Adam falls asleep as both watch over his dreams (creepos imo). They begin talking about their decision and their lives. Both brothers do acknowledge that they miss each other and that they have committed several wrongs with each other. And soon the fighting turns to light banter and life is good. They still try to earn adams favor but it's a lot more calmer. Everything's more calm.

Atleast that's what adam thought at first.

While bonding and stuff, they both come to the mutual agreement that they could share Adam. So they both freak it and try to woo Adam together.

And then now it's a matter of Adam freaking out because while before, both his little shoulder angels used to argue, they their bickering distracted them enough that Adam could chill and leave.

Now they're both bothering him and helping eachother try to get in adams pants. They're tag teaming him now.

It doesn't take long for their combined forces to make Adam cave.

The og goal is kinda gone. They still put their input but adams become more open it because they're less demanding and he feels like their goals are more aligned to his wants than theirs. Lucifur and Micheal also come to kinda realize that where Adam ends is where Adam ends. They're going to have to just suck it up when the time comes but they'll enjoy sharing while it lasts.

It gets pretty domestic and slice of life here. So the years following is a mix of sibling bonding and having ✨️the rizz✨️ on Adam.

Lucifur talks about hell and Charlie. Micheal talks about heaven and lucifur and his siblings. (Both Micheal and Lucifur arent permannt shoulder angels, they can actually pop away if they wanted to) Adam talks about his life and stuff.

When Adam eventually dies, his soul is neither here or there (because getting absolutely boned by twin morningstars does not make you virtuous or sinful it just makes you a bad bitch) his soul spawns in limbo. He’s deprived from salvation but doesn’t endure the horrors of hell. It’s basically a decent sided garden with a basic house in the middle where the garden ends is white space. On opposite ends of the garden are two doors, one goes to hell and the other to heaven. Turns out, the doors are connected to Micheal and Lucifer’s homes, but only appeared in them once Adam died. He’s allowed outside limbo into heaven or hell of his choosing for a limited amount of time and visites Micheal and Lucifer when he can. On the flip side Micheal and Lucifer can freely walk in and out of the place. I don’t want Adam to be lonely once he enters limbo so Cain and Abel are there because they died before heaven was ready and when he’ll just started.

So that’s pretty much it :3 kinda

incomplete but doesn't have everything I wanna say

Also

I will reiterate what I said at the beginning. I love you my guitarhero ppl but they are right in the tagging. It comes from a place of love so just be mindful!! Also, this is from me, sometimes the adamsapple vs guitarhero thing gets repetitive. It's a very common post ive seen. And I mean in general not just leaking into the adamsapple tag. That might just be me, but I do see it pretty often. Love it but that with the tagging does get a bit old. Really, the problem is a mix of incorrect tagging and the same trope. There's a lot more to the ship, especially with Micheal being free reign rn, so there is a lot of opportunity to show their relationship besides comparing it to Adamsapple.

I feel like somone who ships guitarhero also had to say something so yeyeye

Again, no offense to anyone guitarhero isbmy love but just please be mindful guys o3o

If you read all that thank you lol

[tojivu]

stopp i need more of gojo w six eyes omg 😭😭😭 that last one was so adorable

# SIX II ‣ GOJO SATORU

✰ — author’s note you ask and i deliver :3 please keep the asks flowin my 2 month break is soon!! i am fortunately very free.. also i think i might make one with husband satoru :7

✰ — cw / tags fiance!satoru , read part 1 first because it makes more sense , gn!reader , swearing , gojo being so pretty you’re literally in a daze LOL , not proofread , sfw as always

✰ — playing endlessly by alina baraz.

✰ — word count 1k

"they need to start a fucking cab service here."

GOJO SATORU, your now fiancé, has been whining for the past half an hour—and as his lover, it is your (unconsented) responsibility to hear all of it. the snowy haired man walking in front of you has his handheld fan out in a futile attempt to cool himself off, and of course it reaps no benefit: it's thirty three degrees, ninety one in fahrenheit. what would a measly fan be able to do?

that's precisely what you say to him, your mood was sour as well; having to listen to your querulous husband-to-be grumble about the weather and the walking distance was taking a toll on you.

"plus. . . who was the one who," you found that talking made you feel hotter, so you tried to refrain from long strings of words. "asked to eat at a restaurant. . ."

you huff. ". . .40 minutes away from the station. . ."

you two were sick of tokyo, and you suppose it's partially your fault as well: you've been pestering him for the past month to visit the countryside to get some fresh air. you thought it would be cooler here, seeing as to how rare cars and buses were to come by—ironically, a car or bus is exactly what you two need at this moment.

at least now, your pool of choices for honeymoon destinations are narrowed—the silver lining that was not so silver amidst the heat, and compared to the amount of walking you had to endure.

"we should've just went to switzerland."

it takes a long while before you two make any turn. the pavement is stretched long and far, and the only buildings you'd come across were tiny houses belonging to the countryfolk.

gojo is walking backwards, ranting to you about what could've been in the swiss alps: on and on about snowball fights with you and napping together on a couch in front of a cozy fire. all of his eyes are looking at you, a pitiful gaze in each pair.

yet, you're still here, in the blistering and merciless heat. there was nothing complaints would change, it’s not like you could teleport.

"well, just book a flight to switzerland yourself, then!" you hiss, looking away from gojo, who seemed so unappreciative of the quality time he’s spending with the alleged love of his life.

your scolding makes him laugh. a smug smile spreads across his face, because he was just kidding: he supposes it's not half bad because you're still here with him.

though, he still thinks it would be better by tenfold if the weather was just a little bit more compassionate.

you don’t realise gojo’s stopped walking and is standing in front of you, as you’re preoccupied with the sulky attitude; you bump into him, almost tripping and falling off the concrete pavement—not before he catches you with quick arms and undeniable strength.

you would’ve fallen face flat onto the road if not for your fiancé instinctively reaching for you, and he’s prepared for an earful when you realise what just happened.

“satoru,” you grit your teeth. he closes his eyes, all six of them, in preparation for the scolding he was going to receive from you. “do you not have anything in that dense skull of yours?“

his arms are firm around your waist and your hat is poking at his chest. you look up at him, realising his eyes are open now—blinking at you ever so slowly, as if asking for pity.

all six of his eyes blink in sync, and you spend a good ten seconds staring at his face. something about the way his eyes glistened in the harsh sunlight and the way his hair frames them perfectly, snowy white hair clashing with the blues of his irises—a trance was what he had you under.

“stop looking at me like that.”

“i thought you liked them.” gojo puts on a pout, and it’s too obvious that he’s fishing for your affection—he might as well just ask you to tell him what he wants to hear.

nevertheless, you spoil satoru; as you have always done and continue to do. you think he’s too used to your cooing and that somebody definitely needs to humble him, but you know that somebody wouldn’t be you.

“i love them, ‘toru.” you say, and his pout disappears as quickly as it came. “i love you.”

the whites of his teeth shine in the sunlight when he hears you say those precious words; it never fails to confuse you, how easy it is to please gojo—except that it isn’t, he was only easy when it came to you.

he takes off your hat and you scowl at the heat that your hat has been shielding you from. gojo presses a kiss onto your forehead, not pulling away even after seconds have passed.

“love you more.”

you scoff. “i’m not getting into that argument with you.”

he finally pulls away and his eyes blink at you again, with that same sulking expression. “so you don’t wanna say it back? do you not love me more, y/n?”, and there goes his comedically unconvincing pout.

you bite the inside of your cheek, attempting to put on the sternest look you can; but you take one more good look at him and it’s utterly useless.

people found it hard to get their ways with you. you were a stubborn person, naturally—standing your ground was something that came easy to you. you wonder why it’s different with satoru, though.

perhaps it was his face, his painstakingly handsome face—but you know it definitely had something to do with the way he looked at you, the way his eyes and gaze made you weak in the knees.

“i love you more.” you give in for the second time, and seeing the smirk on his face form makes you realise you’ve done it again: fallen right into his trap.

the pairs of eyes on his forehead and cheeks shut their eyelids. “no, think i love you more.” satoru declares before planting another kiss, this time on your right cheek. “i know i do.”

such a sly man, you think—you wouldn’t marry anyone else.

221023 — it’s 4am..

[omaano]

SW Hades AU May Status Update

I wanted to make a dedicated post about what I’m currently working on for the Star Wars meets Hades AU that looks more consistent than just sharing bits and pieces whenever I’m tagged in a Last Line Challenge. Because what else do I have but the poly sketch requests and this AU for my weekends? (If nothing else I know that the Hades AU has got me XD)

Other updates: June - July - August

For now Obi-Wan and Maul are stuck at the same stage: they are both lined, have their base colours down as well as the two adjustment layers of coloured lighting.

I suspect if I were ever to get through the agonozing few hours of shading Obi-wan’s face it would be mostly smooth sailing from there. The problem is that there are at least 2 - if not 3 - separate stages where the shaded face looks like I have no idea what I’m doing, and you need to get through the whole thing before it really comes together 😅 on the other hand Hades 2 has a lot of the directional shading I might need for his character art so that might help to get me there.

It also needs to be said that Obi-Wan comes with the extra disadvantage that is the entire background behind him. I’m really hyped to line it finally, it is quite a challenge, but at the same time I’m slowly coming to the realization that I have no idea how I will colour it. Hades backgrounds are so so pretty and full of details and gorgeous colours, and while I’m not delusional enough to think I could match that on first try… I still wish I could, you know? At the same time I will have to erase or recolour a lot of my lines, which will hurt quite a bit, I imagine. I’m so bad at killing my darlings 😅 also I hate laying down flat colours. I just find it very difficult to immerse myself in that process, while lining and shading can have their flow.

I had covered up so many lines and details in Maul’s spider parts it’s a miracle I didn’t cry XD However, tips on grouping my shadows and allowing the shape to speak for itself and the details in them are very helpful and on point.

Worrying over writing dialogue for them is also not as far down my to-do list as I wish it were. I have a good enough idea for a quip for Obi-wan, but Maul? He’d need a whole melodramatic rant of his own XD

Aphra has gotten some new lines and I had fixed the satchel I had forgotten the last time I shared the rough sketch for her, thanks to the new character art for Hades 2! Seeing Odysseus and Hermès’s updated looks were great helps here, so I might as well move on to lining her, and finally adding another female character to the roster on top of Ahsoka!

And then there is the biggest update on these little guys below! I will need to clean up the ones I had drawn for Cobb and Boba (and Din) well over a year ago, but with these my version of chtonic companions are done, and thanks to @lesquatrechevrons I have a full list of keepsakes for each character as well. I’m not very good at drawing these little tchotchkes (I say with Rex’s blaster right there LOL) but I hadn’t been very good at lineart or cell shading when I started this project either, so through forced practice I’m determined to change that :D

(It’s not a screwdriver under Boga, it’s one of Cody’s antennas. “It will grow back, don’t worry,” he says as he snaps it off his pauldron and hands it over to Din. Rex backs him up on that one without question. They can't lie for shit but trolling the shiny is their thing.)

Additional fun fact: the reason why I’d picked up the chtonic companions concepts was because I’d been poking at minor details in the background behind Maul (aside from the Chaos doors), and I started adding credits and recoloured nectar to the corner (before I realized that they wouldn’t be visible once the character interaction comes up oops), and I tried to figure out to whose keepsakes Maul would react favorably. I also mixed up companion dolls and keepsakes, so that’s why the Ahsoka doll came to being (I also forgot that that one belongs to Rex, and not Ahsoka herself but uh… they are close enough that they should count by proxy anyway. It’s not Obi-wan’s cup of tea and that should be enough!). Also bless @mapleowl18 for suggesting Lil Soka as companion for Rex ❤️

So this is the current state of this AU project right now. I have my lists and notes, a few scribbled pose ideas in my sketchbook for Sabine (she might be next, unless Bo and her Nite Owls make a comeback), Satine and Omega (with Batcher), as well as some angry scribbles and question marks for Quinlan (who has apparently made his way back into this AU even though he didn’t get a little icon of his own originally orz), and Obi-wan The Second that would stand with Cody post reunion, but I cannot make that one work for now 😅

[feyrescourt]

This is a long and rambly discussion post for elriel nation btw so strap in

I want to preface this by kindly asking the elriel hive to not use any tags of #those ships if reblogged. I want to keep this in the elriel echo chamber. Please and thank u!

A huge part of fandom culture is to ship canonically compliant characters and crack ships. Everyone’s got them, and it’s totally normal, and it’s usually fun to engage with.

The majority of the time I have no issue with this (I am a wolfstar shipper and even though there is canonical evidence of them in the original HP books, they’re widely accepted online and balked at IRL usually due to homophobia and #that nasty, nasty woman’s bigotry), but over the last few years a certain group of crack shippers have taken it upon themselves to fly a little too close to the sun, and want to make it our (elriels) problem. I am talking about the Glees.

It’s late and this just popped into my head so I want to rant about it.

My friend who got me into ACOTAR gave me a breakdown of the ships (bc I read ToG first and went in blind. I became a doraelin shipper very early on and remained one halfway through QoS, it was a whole thing when I realized they were not end game lol), bc I asked her to after my ToG experience. She told me all the characters names and then told me about feysand and nessian endgames but didn’t mention az or elain’s situation. I asked her about it and she told me that she didn’t want to mention much about Az because “by the end of the series azriel has two options for how his story could go, elain or another way”. She shared some anti elain sentiment with me because she’s “boring and doesn’t do anything”. That went in one ear and out the other with me tbh.

When I started acowar, and feyre returned to the night court, I saw how elain and azriel were interacting and I concluded that mor was the second LI of az bc of acomaf. I was not apart of the fandom online at this point, so I was genuinely in the dark about everything around these two. I was just reading and talking to my friend about what I read. I also want to add that I still liked L*cien at this point in the series (it changed in acofas, I became apathetic towards him rather quickly when I finished reading that whiny ass convo with feyre…..I don’t play when it comes to her) but wasn’t sold on eluce because they had like one interaction and it wasn’t a great intro to a ship.

However this first meeting in acomaf….. :)

‘Can you truly fly?’ He set down his fork, blinking. I might have even called him self-conscious. He said, ‘Yes. Cassian and I hail from a race of faeries called Illyrians. We’re born hearing the song of the wind.’ ‘That’s very beautiful,’

“Rhys chuckled, Cassian’s wrath slipping enough that he grinned, and Elain, noticing Azriel’s ease as proof that things weren’t indeed about to go badly, offered one of her own as well.”

Well imagine my surprise when I finished acowar and it turns out mor (the person az has crushed on for 500 years) comes out to feyre before the book ends and she explains that she can never love az the way he loves her. After three books, and everything that happens in acowar it was clear to me that elain and azriel were being set up as each others love interests, despite the mating bond with l*cien.

After Acofas I was officially on the elriel train. I mean…

“Azriel strode to the lone window at the end of the room and peered into the garden below.”

“Azriel emerged from the sitting room, a glass of wine in hand and wings tucked back to reveal his fine, yet simple black jacket and pants. I felt, more than saw, my sister go still as he approached. Her throat bobbed.”

“But Azriel only took Elain’s heavy dish of potatoes from her hands, his voice soft as night as he said, ‘Sit. I’ll take care of it.’ Elain’s hands remained in midair, as if the ghost of the dish remained between them. With a blink, she lowered them, and noticed her apron. ‘I—I’ll be right back,’ she murmured, and hurried down the hall before I could explain that no one cared if she showed up to dinner covered in flour and that she should just sit.”

“Elain swept in, apron gone and hair rebraided. ‘Please don’t wait on my account,’ she said, taking the seat at the head of the table.”

“He [Azriel] was the portrait of relaxed, an arm braced against the carved mantel, his wings tucked in loosely, a faint grin on his face and a glass of wine in his hand. He slid his hazel eyes toward my sister without him moving an inch.”

“Azriel and Elain remained in the sitting room, my sister showing him the plans she’d sketched to expand the garden in the back of the town house, using the seeds and tools my family had given her tonight. Whether he cared about such things, I had no idea.”

(Damn the more I read elriel’s acofas moments the more I can’t help but conclude that they just hate/don’t understand introverts 😭)

Before I started SF, I decided to look at the online fandom and bitch……my jaw hit the floor with all the elain/elriel hate I saw on TT. And everyone was talking about a newer character in SF, and I was seeing the glee fan art and was like oh shit ok maybe elriel isn’t endgame.

Fast forward to SF……

‘What happened to Elain?’

“Nesta saw the blow land, like a physical impact, in Elain’s face, her posture. No one spoke, though shadows gathered in the corners of the room, like snakes preparing to strike. Elain’s eyes brightened with pain.”

……and I’m thinking ok, az obviously likes her. Then comes az’s BC. When I finished the elriel portion of the BC I was actually crying bc I was like oh fuck I really love these two….I knew it was over for me, and I was freaked out bc I thought I was going to get got with this “new ship” involving az. Plus I was thinking about elain being left alone in the dark without any explanation and feeling like an idiot for finally showing her true feelings towards him😭. It was like 3AM when I read it so I was hyper emotional lol. But then I read the rest of the BC and was still confused because I didn’t see any romantic subtext with g/wyn. I read it and saw a hurt male who couldn’t stand what he had done to elain the night before, was pissed at his brother for stopping it and making him feel bad when he was finally willing to voice what he’s been feeling for the past year or so and hating that he was shut down because we know he never voices his emotions, and couldn’t bear keeping a gift he picked out specifically for her. A necklace…..for solstice……Then I finished SF as a whole, and still, was confused as to why glee is a ship. Nearly all of their conversations were centered around training, and Sarah didn’t use any descriptors in their encounters that elude to any romance or mutual interest. (Btw I have a whole take on rhys’ part in that BC and I think a lot of ppl are dense and don’t understand what he was going through in that book but I can save that for another time)

Cassian and Feyre have more chemistry than those too lol.

I then talked to my friend about the these ships (elriel, eluce, and glee) ((i didn’t talk about eluce much in this post but that’s a lifeless ship too. I mean…..she can’t stand that red head anyway soooo)), and I said “I’m an elriel through and through. Idc that eluce are claimed to be mates you can tell she does not like him. also glee makes no sense to me.” Not verbatim but you get the point. My friend is very sensible so by the end of our convo, she told me that she’ll accept whatever way Sarah goes and that she’ll give elain a chance when her book comes out.

But isn’t that what all of this shit is about in the end: unjustified dislike/distain/hate for elain? That’s certainly how is appears to me. You cannot look me in the eyes and tell me that you love elain if you ship her with a male whom she has expressed, on multiple occasions, zero interest in AND becomes a shell of herself when he’s around because she just doesn’t want to interact with him. (I want to reiterate that I don’t hate L, I don’t think he’s awful or anything. elain just doesn’t want to know him. And that’s her right.) The glees don’t like her bc she doesn’t fit their stereotype for what they want in an FMC and therefore, for azriel. Which is why they have been chirping that the next book will be azriel’s. Not elain’s….WHAT??? You sound fucking crazy. The eluces (even though they claim they like her) dislike her so much that they go on and on about how she needs to grovel and apologize to the male they like because HE deserves to be happy……the same male who she associates with one of the most traumatic days of her life. Who also has not apologized to her for the part he played in that day, but I digress.

I say all that to point out that Glee specifically is in the crack ship category. No canonical evidence in the text can be used to claim they are ‘mates’ or endgame or anything more than acquaintances. And that’s fine, but don’t act as though they’re to be taken seriously as a canon ship when there’s no evidence to support it. Don’t boldly claim that azriel “has two love interests” when he literally doesn’t. He can’t sleep because of elain. He can’t stop thinking about her. He’s short with his family and others around him the days and weeks following solstice. His shadows threaten to strike nesta when she hurts elain and causes her pain. He doesn’t assign his spies to watch L*cien in acofas because he doesn’t want to know if he’s trying to court elain. He goes full lethal when he hears she may have been hurt. He follows the sound of her laugh to see what caused it. He goes on a suicide mission to save her. They communicate through looks alone when their family is around. Have you read an SJM book before? This is how she sets up her relationships. Like, holy fuck.

You cannot claim elriel is a crack ship because they have had background build up that both FMCs in their respective books have noticed and commented on. Cassian has noticed it too DESPITE not being hyper aware of what’s going on with az in SF. (referencing the scene in SF where elain tells everyone at family dinner about nesta’s love for dancing and the ball story from when they were human).

This ship war shit is fucking crazy because really this should only be between elriel nation and the eluces. Anyway, I’m over dealing with the fever dream brigade and their hallucinations. They’re going to come crashing down like Icarus when the elriel bible release day arrives and all our suffering will finally come to an end.

Then after that I’ll need to defeat the tamlin redemption arch threats, bc that is not a claim, that’s a fuckin threat and I won’t stand for it. But let’s tackle one problem at a time.

Pink: side notes/thoughts that give more context to my points

Blue italics: convos I’ve had being referenced

Purple: elriel moments <3

[loquarocoeur]

Loquarocoeur info:

Firstly: Obligatory mature content warning

Hi, my name is Alex

Alternatively I am also referred to as loquarocoeur, loq, loquacker, loquawhatever, or other varieties of my username, and when I deserve it I will also accept several insults

I do have other interests, but this is mostly an F1 blog

You probably know me from my Ao3 (Probably Yours Verse or Casual)

I think I'm mainly known as that insane Lestappen bottom Max/top Charles enthusiast, otherwise also a Landoscar enjoyer who lied about how much angst there would be in Casual (sorry again)

Lestappen complete masterlist here

Landoscar complete masterlist here

I am also a full time student with a busy life, so when the ask box is randomly off, I don't hate you, I'm just busy<3

I don't do much on here except answer asks, which sometimes turn into discussions, mainly yours verse

Other tags are not important, they're mainly for my personal organisation

FAQs under the cut:

FAQs:

What is that keyboard smash of a username?

My username is first and foremost stupid, secondly too old to change, and thirdly a silly mashup of the words loquacious (talkative) and coeur (heart in French)

Are you not answering my ask because I'm being annoying/rude/upsetting?

My ask box has occasionally gotten very busy, sometimes I miss asks, accidentally delete them, sometimes tumblr eats them, sometimes I forget about them until it's too late for it not to be weird, sometimes I'm just very busy or having another discussion and will get back to you. Occasionally I have a lot to yap about with you and need a while to gather my thoughts If you're being rude, hateful, or annoying I will absolutely also delete your asks, but this is very rare, don't worry about it I also might ignore asks about drama, I don't like arguing with anonymous askers about drama in the fandom, I value my peace and happiness and am not making internet enemies, so I prefer to rant about my opinions to my irl friends or my mutuals

Do you make banner posts or announcement posts when you post fics?

No, sorry, I'm lazy. Maybe I will do some arts and crafts if I write another long fic, but my home is ao3, tumblr is just where I yap, I'm not here to make work for myself I think you guys get ao3 emails if you subscribe to my account or a series? idk. Otherwise you'll hear about it in the asks probably

Do you accept requests?

No, but I'm always open to ideas, questions, and inspiration and I'll negotiate art for fic with mutuals if it comes up

[kickbutts-singsongs]

I know no one asked, but I have exactly zero (0) people to talk about bkdk with irl so here you guys go

My BKDK Journey

Yes, this sounds stupid, but my god it’s been almost three years of an absolute rollercoaster of feelings and denials and tears and revelations…

and if you don’t mind, I’m gonna rant about it.

(not spoiler free)

_____

May 2021

To start off, i wasn’t always a bkdk shipper.

I shipped izu*cha at first (not saying it’s a bad ship btw; it’s actually quite cute. im just afraid people’ll be mad if I accidentally invade their tag lol), primarily because I assumed that would be the ship that became canon.

But also, my veryyyyy leasttttt favorite character… was Bakugou Katsuki.

When I tell you that I would’ve loved nothing more than to somehow spawn into the bnha universe and punch that brat in the face— AGHHHHHHHHHH

Now this wasn’t all his fault: A) I watched the dub first lol, and B) he reminded me of someone that i was not in a place to stand up to at the time, and his constant anger, yelling, and harsh treatment of Izuku—who i began to relate to—made me hateeee him.

There was a time when I literally said “if he died, I wouldn’t miss him.” <- this was later proven false lol

So, I was watching the anime dub with an absolute animosity for our resident deuteragonist, but on top of that…

I was watching it with a friend with a crunchyroll account who lived in another state that I was visiting and staying with for two weeks, so by the time i had to go back home, we’d only gotten up to the part where All Might was getting Inko’s permission to let Izuku stay at the UA dorms.

Anddddddd in my drive to consume more bnha once I got home, i somehow stumbled across an Instagram account that posted bnha sub episodes divided into parts,

but they only had season four and onwards.

Sooooo I never saw the second half of season three… more importantly,

I NEVER SAW DEKU VS KACCHAN 2!!!!!

(I will say that I had seen a couple photos/edits/etc, but I never knew what had been said, or why they fought)

_____

June 2021

At this point in time, I’d been exposed to a lot of the fandom. My fyp on both IG and Pinterest were filled to the brim with all things bnha (because this is what happens when one has a hyperfixation), so I saw a lot of stuff.

Especially fanart.

This is where I started learning about the different ships.

I saw a lot of the side character ships and thought they were adorable (kamijirou, todomomo, even kiribaku), but then I saw some with Izuku.

Izu*cha was a given for me. I didn’t think there was a single person that didn’t ship it. But then I started seeing fanart of ships like tododeku, shindeku, and bakudeku.

And my first reaction to finding out that people shipped my beautiful baby sunshine boi with the person who bullied him for years?????

HELLLLLLLLLLL NO

So with my (unknowingly) limited knowledge of their relationship, i was very much an anti (i never spoke out or anything, i just reallyyyy didn’t like the ship lol)

(And then, you know, I started to see all the bkdk hate online and kinda went “okay not touching that”)

But that began to change…

_____

August 2021

…after I saw a manga leak for the first time.

I was scrolling thru my feed and all of a sudden. BOOM!

I was like 😧

IS THAT IZUKU?????

And i looked in the comments and yes it was.

I checked out the page and found that they had an entire account of manga leaks and was so happy.

I quickly began to read from the very bottom of that account, and it started from right about where Izuku first began his vigilante arc (i had no idea how much was in between then and where I left off on the anime, but I was willing to read it lol)

And so I waited diligently for the leaks every week (a practice I have continued to uphold lol), until one day, i came across an untranslated series of panels from the latest chapter. I looked at it and it was of Katsuki and Izuku, facing each other in the rain (you know the one). I knew the leaks would be coming a day later, but I wanted to look through them anyways, so I did.

I didn’t understand a word they said, but the pictures and imagery of them as kids then middle schoolers then where they were now seemed so touching…

And then I came across a pair of kanji that I recognized.

I was like “wait WHAT???”

I zoomed in and went “that— isn’t that—? That’s part of Midoriya’s name, right???”

And then I was like “wait a second… omg that’s Izuku, isn’t it. That’s the freaking kanji for Izuku.”

And it was!!!!!

So inside I’m having a mini freakout cuz—

Bakugou just called him IZUKU

Fast forward to the next day, and I looked at the translated version, and found out that not only did he call him Izuku,

He

Freaking

APOLOGIZED

And I was like “huhhhhhhh”

What happened between now and the most recent anime episodes for this to occur???? For Bakugou to do a complete 180 and apologize????????

Well, I finally got my answers…

_____

November 2021

…when I started reading the manga.

I started from the beginning, cuz I wanted to see Horikoshi’s art style and the extra drawings and all the other stuff…

And when I tell you that Katsuki became a whole new character to me—

First, I read everything about early-on Bakugou— without hearing him yell in his dub voice—and realized “oh wow he really is just a kid with issues and a worldview that he’s now having to change.”

Then, I finally read what happened in that space between moving into the dorms and the beginning of season four (most importantly, DvK2).

Cried.

Then, oh then, I got up to where season five ended and the rest of the manga began.

. . .

Funny thing: back when I read the leaks to ch322, I remember thinking to myself, “huh. what did Bakugou mean by Shigaraki making swiss cheese outta him?”

😦

THE WAY I GASPED

AND THEN CRIED

OH MY FREAKING GOD

That was the moment where i truly ceased to hate Katsuki cuz holy character development batman

Then, of course, we see them in recovery

And then the vigilante arc and apology scene *sobs*

And then I was caught up.

(Btw I finished the entire manga up ‘til ch334 in just over a week. I read for nine days straight. During the school year. My emotions were all over the place goodness gracious I could barely concentrate.)

So that’s how I went from being a Bakugou hater to going “you know what he’s a complex character and he’s slowly becoming a better person” and realizing that he was now one of my fav characters and therefore cursed to die but I’ll talk about that later

Was I now a bakudeku shipper?

Hah nope.

_____

December 2021

I began my dive into the true essence of any fandom: fanfiction.

Over the course of winter break, I had started off with fics that had no romantic pairing (I just wanted to see my boi Izuku), but then somehow stumbled across Mastermind: Strategist for Hire and then read the entirety of the For Want of a Nail series (shoutout to Clouds btw ❤️) cuz I was like “ok whew no bkdk fics” which was my mindset at the time.

But somehow (I can’t even remember how I found it) I came across a bkdk fic. It was called For Want of Izuku’s Toe Joint by Talavin (okay now that I think about it there’s probably a simple explanation lol).

I don’t quite know what compelled me to start reading it, but I did.

And I really liked it.

But not in the “I’ve been converted” kinda way.

It was like an “I shouldn’t be enjoying this why am I enjoying this?” kinda feeling. Like my head says no but my heart says yeah.

A really really really really guilty pleasure.

So, from that day on, whenever I came across any form of bkdk media, I would simultaneously feel discomfort and yet an odd sense of satisfaction.

A snippet of my daily life:

Me: *comes across bkdk fanart on pinterest*

Me: eww

Also me: *stares at it for like five minutes straight*

Me: who even likes this?

Also me: *saves pin to my mha board*

Me: not my ship

Also me: *scrolls down to more like this*

Bless my heart I was in such denial.

_____

July 2022

Bit of a timeskip, but nothing of note really happened in those last six months so here we go.

We’ve gotten to the point in the manga where the final arc is underway and Bakugou is about to KICK SOME BUTT

He’s revealed his Panser Strafe support item and I’m gushing about it to my friend (she kinda fell out of the fandom but still tolerated my rants bless her)

Oh, side note: it was then that I also expressed my concern for Bakugou’s “alive” status

Evidence:

For reference, some of my favorite characters are:

Beth March (Little Women)

John Reese (Person of Interest)

Joss Carter (Person of Interest)

Leonard Snart (Arrowverse)

Logan Echolls (Veronica Mars)

Fantine (Les Mis)

Eponine (Les Mis)

Jean Valjean (Les Mis)

Simon (Lord of the Flies)

Piggy (Lord of the Flies)

Grace Stone (Manifest)

Bubaigawara Jin — Twice (BNHA)

Wanna guess which of these guys died?

Trick question! It’s all of them (:

Yeah so anyways those following chapters really made me excited and nervous cuz YEAH KICK HIS ASS BAKUGOU but also IZUKUUUUU WE NEED YOU

hah hah.

_____

August 2022

Utterly gobsmacked. Cried. Disbelief. Horrified. Confusion. Anger. Went through the five stages of grief and then some.

Sometimes I hate being right 🥲

But the good thing that came from this was that my positive view of Katsuki only grew after seeing his utter faith in Izuku (and his thoughts being on him in his final moments???? 🥺🥺🥺)

And it was at this point in time where I could admit to myself “you know what? i see it. i see the appeal. i wouldn’t mind this actually becoming canon.”

Did I think that it would actually become canon?? No.

_____

September 2022

I don’t know how I thought Izuku was gonna react to seeing Katsuki’s body on the ground, but GOOD LORD IT WASNT THAT

Even sweet little blind me realized “oh wow he like really feels intense stuff for Katsuki huh”

(But some things I missed—cuz I was still a bit wired for izu*cha—were shigarakis implications “yeah u looooove the present I got u” and the freaking HEART that blackwhip caused??? when Izuku reeled himself back in???? like how did i miss that i read that chapter like fifteen times??)

So this is all to say that I’ve missed any and all actual bkdk hints up until this point. I finally lifted my head out of the izu*cha fog when…

_____

July 2023

…Ochako and Toga had their chat about romance.

The first actual hint was when Ochako had told Toga “I’ll give you my blood for the rest of my life.”

Little blind me became a bit less blind that day, cuz I was like “um. ochako? that— that sounded kinda like a proposal. like. a marriage proposal. ochako??”

And then those chapters just kept getting better!!

Bebe Ochako’s determination???

The Spirited Away moment?????

“I’m envious of your smile”????????

“YOU REALLY THINK IM CUTE?” “THE CUTEST IN THE WHOLE WORLD” LIKE 😭😭😭😭😭

For the first time, I was looking at the manga without the assumption that izu*cha would be endgame. And it only got better after I…

_____

August 2023

…got Tumblr!!!

Everything was downhill from here folks.

In the best possible way.

I came across some analyses of what was going on with togachako, and consequently led me to some bakudeku analyses. I read them and my goodness they made so much sense.

Like not even just personality-wise!! Those metas brought in actual things Horikoshi said about wanting to go outside the norms of shounen (and about not liking the Naruto ending 💀), and compared bkdk to tropes in different works of fiction, and even discussed how bkdk made sense narratively. They properly convinced me of the ship.

And then for good measure, I reread the manga in its entirety thru a bkdk filter, and lo and behold things took on new meanings and my eyes were opened.

I totally and irrevocably shipped them! And I actually thought they had a chance at being canon!!

(And then I binged so much bkdk fanfiction omg you wouldn’t BELIEVE like I read the ones with the highest kudos first and then just picked the biggest collections I could find and read down the line

It was like being on drugs like each fic gave me more dopamine than the last I was so happy oh my god)

_____

October 2023

And then finally, the day came.

The answer to “is bakugou alive yet?” became a yes.

We screamed. We cried. We jumped for joy. We told bakugou antis to suck it. But most of all, our bkdk hearts soared to see our boys make eye contact with each other for the first time in over a year 🥹

And from that moment on, I truly began to believe that bkdk would indeed become canon.

_____

And so, this concludes my 42672288 page rant about how I came to be a bkdk shipper.

Thank you for reading, and before I go, I want to ask:

How did you guys get into bkdk?

Did you convert over from izu*cha? Or perhaps tododeku? Or maybe kiribaku? Or are you one of the few who have shipped them since the beginning??

In any case, I’m happy you’re here. And while it may have taken me a couple years, I’m happy that I’m here too :)

(and thank you @animelover32456)

[depressopax]

Dale Cooper SFW headcanons

Fandom: Twin Peaks

Pairing: Dale Cooper x gender neutral reader Genre: Fluff, headcanons Warning(s): Cuss words, dirty jokes Words: 900 Summary: Being in a relationship with Dale Cooper would include…  English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! <3 Avaliable on AO3

This man… He has so much love to give you, and won’t hesitate to do so.

He sees you as a treasure and knows how to treat you like one.

His job means long days and much time apart from you. To not speak of the dangers that come with being a special agent.

He tries making up for this, though.

At work, he’s serious and focused on his tasks

At home, all his attention is on you.

ALL OF IT.

He spends his free days off work with you, either at home or going outdoors. As long as you’re together, he doesn’t care. 

He might come across as “clingy”, but he just wants your love and company.

His career means late night, so he either comes home to find you already sleeping, or sitting up on the couch watching tv. Either way, he always greets you with the biggest smile.

You try visiting him at the police station, too. Going to him for lunch, surprise visits etc… 

If he has the opportunity, he does the same for you when/if you work.

Dale is not a good chef, but he enjoys cooking for you.

Especially in the mornings.

He often ends up burning the food without realizing it

But he looks so happy when he tells you that he has cooked, and you can’t bring yourself to tell him that he accidentally burned it

He looks so smug whenever you eat his food and tell him you like it

He might be a night owl, but still gets up early in the morning. How he does so is a damn mystery.

Maybe it’s the fact he usually has weird dreams at night that makes him wake up early?

Or is he just always energetic? 

He wakes you up with kisses and the first thing you smell is coffee. 

This man is absolutely head over heels in love with you

He appreciates small gestures from you, he’s not the guy to like big romantic gestures. Like seriously, just make a cup of coffee for this man and he will swoon for you.

Dale’s love language being touch and quality time 

He likes making coffee for you, it’s his ultimate way of saying “I love you” lol

Speaking of saying “Ily”, he was definitely the one to say it first. 

You’d only been dating for a month or less when he realised how much you mean to him, and that he had fallen for you.

He feels very comfortable around you and appreciates the feeling of you jot judging him

That’s why he likes sharing his weird theories with you and rant about different cases he’s working on, wanting your take on it

Whilst other people laugh at his passion for the paranormal, you are supportive, and find it interesting too.

Which makes him very happy, since he finally can share his thoughts without getting judged <3

He also tells you about the weird dreams he has

At first, you were very concerned when Dale started ranting about his dreams of weird creatures and creepy places

…But you grew to like it. Once getting used to his weird dreams, you’re always intrigued to hear another story

If you don’t believe in paranormal stuff/you’re not spiritual - you definitely change your opinions later. He has a way of talking about it that just fascinates you to the point you also believe it.

Which only makes him love you more, if possible.

You and Dale are a pretty calm couple, but your shared love for creepy shit probably leads to Dale taking you on your own little investigations/missions

He wouldn't let you tag along to a real mission, but suggests going to abandoned places for sightseeing.

And who are you to say no to that?

Somehow, it’s almost cozy to walks hand in hand in the creepiest of places, while discussing theories and scaring each other with stories

You also make it a challenge sometimes - who gets scared first?

Spoiler alert! It’s you.

Dale is a special agent, and works with cases like this, after all. 

He’s pretty competitive, believe it or not

Sometimes, he even makes sure to make you frightened 

He likes comforting you and feeling like “the knight on a white horse”

A bit rude, I know, but he can’t help it!

“Fuck sake Dale! You did that on purpose!”“I would never!”“...”“Ok, maybe I did intend to scare you.”“I hate you”“I know you don’t… Don’t be mad at me, my love!”

Don’t worry, he does make it up to you in one way or another ;)

His ideal date would be coffee dates (what a surpriseeee) 

On your first date he took you to Double R Diners, so he could show you how amazing coffee and cherry pies they have.

He also likes taking you out on picnics, sightseeings and being outdoors with you.

But if you prefer calm dates, he doesn’t mind taking you to the cinema, or even just stay at home to watch movies and eating takeaway food

He doesn’t mind PDA - he holds your hand in public, kisses your forehead, wants you close etc…

But he prefers to kiss you when he’s alone with you

If you were to kiss him around people he’d turn into a blushing mess lmao

Dale is the boyfriend who likes staying up with you - having deep late night conversations

The two of you are pretty cheesy - slow dancing under the night sky, stargazing… You name it

Being in a relationship with Dale brings you the passion, love, adventures and amount of weirdness that you need in your life - His goal is to be the best boyfriend ever <3

[strawwritesfic]

Joel x Female!Amputee!Reader: (Don't) Hold Your Breath [Ch. 14]

Summary: You’ve made a lot of monumental mistakes in your life. Cutting your arm off isn’t even at the top of the list. Now you’re about to learn a lot of life lessons at the hands of your savior and her brute of a guardian–and they’re not about to let you learn them the easy way either.

Challenge: "#32 in His Rulebook" by Edible Heart Monster on Lunaescence Archives

Rating/Warnings/Tags: M (post-The Last of Us; excessive swearing; sexual references; violence against children; infected children; references to abortion; references to cannibalism; references to starvation; references to riots; implied domestic abuse; implied grooming; implied sexual relationship between an adult and a minor; death of a parent; violence; gore; blood; gun use; ableism; amputee!Reader; enemies to lovers; not canon compliant)

Pairings/Relationships: Joel/Female!Reader; Tommy/Maria; Reader/Male!OC; Ellie & Reader; Ellie & Joel; Ellie & Maria & Tommy

Tag List: @imaginesfire

Master List (with important note!)

Rule #14: If it's your birthday, just remember it's your fault if we get ambushed at the party.

The stables were, without a doubt, the quietest damn place in the entire fucking settlement. Possibly this was due to holding only three horses, but it simultaneously held very few people as well. You may have gone kicking and screaming, ranting and raving the first time. Then you realized horses were much preferable to people. Feeding, cleaning, and talking with Ellie’s horse might have been a chore, but at least it was a chore that didn’t make you want to drive a hoe through your fucking eye.

“Getting kind of low on the hay,” you told the horse as you groped for the feeding trough through the red sunlight flooding Callus Two’s window. He (or so Ellie insisted; you weren’t about to check yourself) stamped one hoof when you found it, nearing only to nicker in obvious disappointment at the little amount of hay inside.

“Sorry,” you said with a careless shrug. “It’s hard all around.”

“I don’t remember giving you permission to give my horse attitude.”

Twisting around, you saw Ellie standing pale in the entrance of the stable. Her glassy eyes flashed dimly in the semi-darkness, her lips set in what you could only assume was a shitty attempt at a scowl. How she intended to frighten anyone when she still looked as limp and moist as a fucking cooked noodle was beyond you. You could have tackled her to the ground—if the damn horse hadn’t got in the way. As soon as Callus Two spotted her, he was pressing you against the rough, splintery wall to get at Ellie.

“That’s right. You know who loves you,” she crooned as she patted his neck with one hand and held a second up to his fucking gross horse lips. A familiar crunch filled the air. So that was why the damn horse was so excited to see her.

“The fuck are you doing out of bed?” you asked.

If Ellie was well enough to bring the thing treats, she was well enough to feed and water and clean it and scoop its fucking poop. Wielding a shovel with one arm was no easy task—though you would admit to yourself (and yourself only) that the work had done wonders for your muscles. That did nothing to change the fact that you still spilled the fucking manure all over your shoes more often than not, though, which meant you felt no inclination to be charitable.

“Is she taking good care of you?” Ellie asked the horse. “Just tell me if she’s not. I’ll have her fired so fast her fucking head’ll spin.”

You were in no mood listen to the little shit poke fun at you. Filthy, exhausted, and hungry, you wanted nothing more than to choke down whatever the fuck the cafeteria had leftover this late and crawl into bed. Too bad for you that Ellie was somehow your personal responsibility until Joel came back from wherever the hell he’d run off to. The brat had come down with a bout of food poisoning due to fucking marshmallows of all things. Tommy couldn’t have thought of a better punishment for you skipping out on night-watch duty if he’d fucking tried, not that Joel had allowed it easily or all that willingly.

“Get back to the goddamn infirmary,” you snapped, “and quit wasting the apples on your fucking mule.”

Ellie shot you a look of what might have been amusement—the same look she’d shot you since you were assigned to be her personal slave. She might not have taken Joel ditching her very damn well, but you remaining behind seemed to go a long way in cheering her up. You supposed there must have been something funny about watching you struggle to open fucking doors with your only damn hand clutching a glass of water; still, it didn’t exactly endear Ellie to you any further than she’d already wormed her way into your shithole of a life.

“Why should I?” Ellie wanted to know.

Callus Two had finished his fruit and moved onto mouthing his slime into Ellie’s hair. The fucking horse seemed more interested in breaking your toes than grooming you, but you shuddered all the same. Horse spit was not something you wanted to have stuck in your hair until wash day. Unfortunately, Ellie saw and her weak smile only grew at your obvious discomfort.

“Just go,” you said. Maybe if you started shoveling, she’d leave you the hell alone—not that that ever worked. “I don’t want yelled at for letting you walk around again.”

“She’s with me.” Maria stepped inside the stall, her eyes narrowed at you. Ellie practically beamed.

“So she’s well enough to be out and about?” you asked coolly. Maria’s presence was not one you knew well enough to think snarling would be tolerated. Though you sensed a kindred spirit in her commands and scowls, it was carefully buried underneath several layers of strained patience.

“I haven’t thrown up in twenty-four hours,” Ellie said with a brightness that did not match her syrupy movements.

“I’ve seen more of your fucking insides than I ever wanted in the past week and a half, and one day means your good to go?”

“She’s fine.” Ellie turning to speak softly to her horse again force Maria to answer your question.

You noticed that though she met your eyes, Maria’s expression didn’t seem as fiercely determined as usual. Ellie still looked pretty damn white and sweaty. Food poisoning hadn’t been too bad in the distant past, but in this day and age where medicine was jealously guarded and hard to come by, all anyone could do was watch as Ellie tried and failed to keep down one grainy dinner roll after another. Tommy and Maria had spent as much time as they could spare in the infirmary with her. If they thought Ellie was well enough to move about, who were you to argue? Besides her fucking nurse, that was. At least this meant they were watching her. It would keep Ellie out of your hair for a few more days, thank fucking God.

“Fine.” Arguing with Ellie’s aunt wouldn’t do you any favors anyhow. “Just make sure I haven’t been abusing your pet and get out of here. I want to be done before it gets dark.”

Ellie looked over at Maria, who simply moved her head to frown at you. “It’ll take as long as it takes. This is your job until further notice. Failure to do so—”

“Means I don’t get to eat.”

You rolled your eyes. How many times did Tommy think you needed to hear this fucking lecture? A couple of days without food had been more than enough to get his damn point across. Several months with three regular meals a day, however meager, made it all the more difficult to go without. It spoiled you. As much as you hated knowing that, though, you just couldn’t bring yourself to not eat when there was food available. For all you knew, next week it wouldn’t be.

“Ellie,” Maria said, the frost in her voice so apparent you were surprised that you couldn’t see her breath, “go get your saddle.”

Normally, you got the feeling that Ellie liked watching you get told off. Hell, you assumed she fucking loved it. Today, she scuttled off eagerly enough. Callus Two tried to trot after her. Maria blocked the way, though, and looked entirely unperturbed by the hooves going up and down near her feet. It didn’t seem likely that looking busy would get rid of her any quicker than her annoying niece, but you did your best.

Maria cleared her throat.

“What?” you demanded.

“Listen.” Maria stepped closer, her expression not shifting from a frown once. You didn’t see why you should do as she said, but the idea of having a pistol shoved to your head was just as unappealing as it was any other day. “You let anything happen to her—”

“Me? I’m not the one letting Joel’s dying whatsit out on a joyride, th—”

“Quit interrupting me.”

When her palm pressed into the holster at her thigh, you fell into a silence that was sure to be as sullen as you intended it to be. There you’d been, minding your own fucking business, and now Tommy’s damn wife was in here acting like you’d dragged Ellie out of her sickbed yourself.

“We got a signal from Joel. She’s not going to sit still until she sees him. So she sees him, and you bring her right back here. Understand?”

“No, I don’t fucking understand,” you said, shoulders hunching up around your ears as though you were some sort of cornered cat. “Why the fuck does she need to go running after Joel when she’s sick as one of your dogs?”

Unlike everyone else in Jackson, Maria didn’t react at all to your temper. There was nothing there of Joel’s impatience or Tommy’s pained sympathy. It was like your words slid off of her. All Maria was concerned about was getting her way; how you went about it didn’t seem to matter. “We can’t get her well until she knows he didn’t ditch her. We need someone to get her there safely.”

“What about you?”

“I can’t leave right now. But before you go, I need you to understand one thing, very clearly.” Maria got so close to you that your skin crawled. Every fiber of your being screamed at you to retreat, to get the fuck away before she drove a bullet through your skull. Instead, you stood your ground, muscles tensed as her nose nearly touched yours. “You’re expendable. She’s not.”

Even with adrenaline racing through your system so fast that thinking was difficult, your lips curled at the suggestion that a fucking fifteen-year-old warranted more importance than you, the experienced adult. You’d been hunting since before Ellie had been a fucking thought in some guy’s dick. Of course, you’d lost your arm and become a useless sack of shit since then. You knew it every bit as well as Maria. Arguing wasn’t going to do you a lick of good. Still, your chin lifted in defiance.

“And how do you suggest I get her away from Joel if he’s not finished with whatever he’s doing out there?” you demanded.

“Drag her back. Tie her to the horse. I don’t care. I’m just saying, if she’s the only one that comes home on that horse, that’s fine. If she’s not on that horse at all, don’t bother coming back.”

That pissed you off. Everyone kept acting like you’d asked for this, like it was only out of the goodness of their hearts that they didn’t send you packing out the front door with no time to prepare—as though the collective of humanity even had any goodness any longer. Your knuckles went pale around the handle of your shovel; your lips parted with what you could only hope was a stinging retort, and then Ellie came back and the room was once again filled with excitedly prancing horse.

“What’s going on?” Ellie looked honest-to-God curious, as though the idea of Maria threatening you was the furthest fucking thing from her mind.

You’d seen Maria give Ellie her fair share of lectures (the only person in the damn settlement that bothered), but Ellie seemed to take these in stride as part of being family. Maria was no family of yours, but she seemed perfectly willing to chew you out for something you hadn’t even done yet. And in fact, Maria didn’t bother explaining. All she did was smile that same strained smile given over the discussion of Ellie’s health.

“Nothing,” Maria answered, and stepped away from the horse. “Saddle up. Hold tight to [Name] while she’s steering.”

What you could do to this order but snort? “Like I know how to drive a goddamn horse.”

“You don’t drive a horse,” Ellie said. “You ride.”

“Whatever.”

Maria didn’t look like she believed your lack of horsing experience. Why shouldn’t she have, though? Horses took up space and food—a lot more of both than human beings. Jackson was the only non-military settlement fucking stupid enough to keep them around. It was obvious why: Ellie’s damn sentimentality. Callus Two was like the damn dog she’d never got at that godforsaken school of hers. You, on the other hand, had grown up with real fucking transportation: cars and buses and airplanes, for fuck’s sake. By the fucking way? You only had one arm. How the fuck could you steer a horse one-handed?

After considering you through the growing night, Maria snorted herself, turned back to Ellie, and folded her arms across her chest. “Fine,” she said. “You steer. But if you start having trouble, you’re walking home.”

“We are not walking home,” Ellie muttered underneath her breath as Maria marched past her and out into the stable hall.

“You will if you have to,” Maria called back flatly.

That was the last you heard of her. Only the sound of her boots against the ground indicated that she had left. Ellie, meanwhile, was busy getting her saddle situated. It was clearly from before: old and scratched, with fraying straps and tarnished buckles. You supposed it must have done the job fine, though this didn’t matter much either way. Surely Ellie of all fucking people didn’t know how to ride bareback either.

“Are you coming or what?” Ellie’s voice snapped rudely into your musings about whether or not you actually should have learned to ride a horse when you’d had the damn chance. When you looked up, she was already atop Callus Two, reins in her hands and as close to a look of impatience as she could manage on her face.

“And if I’m not?” you asked in a voice of feigned curiosity.

“Can we not do your fucking drama queen bullshit right now?”

As if the dumb horse could sense Ellie’s agitation, he began to stamp again. “Shit,” was all you got out before you’d been backed into the wall again avoiding having your feet broken.

Ellie did not appear to notice or care. Her eyes were already glued to the tree line outside the window. “I need to see Joel. Either get on or fuck off—but remember it’ll be really fucking easy for me to catch up with Maria on horseback.”

“You little—”

“Not right now, okay?”

The look she threw you was almost pleading, or maybe that was just the sheen of sickness underneath her shell of contempt. Whatever it was, it wasn’t that that made you clumsily climb onto Callus Two’s trough and scramble onto his back. Last time you had been in this position was when Ellie had brought you to Jackson. She’d been a hell of a lot more accommodating then; now you were forced to struggle to get yourself adjusted all on your own. Ellie didn’t wait to make sure you were before she snapped the reins and the horse started off. The bouncing made it much more difficult for you to find your balance and all that came out of your mouth for the next few minutes was a stream of quite but vehement profanities.

“You done now?” Ellie asked once you had finally come to a stop behind her, legs pressed against hers and hand clutching at her hip as lightly as you dared. With the back of her red-brown head nearly pressed against your nose, you could smell the faint, cloying scent of illness clinging to her. This was the first you’d smelled of it, and it nearly made you sick yourself. Even what used to be Wyoming got warmish in the summer, meaning that you hadn’t had to cuddle the little shit to keep her warm at night. You wished you had been able to keep that distance now.

“Hey. Bitch. You settled?”

“I’m—fuck!” The damn horse obviously hated you, as he took the incline toward the forest with such a bound that you nearly flew off its back end again. “I’m settled, thanks.”

She glanced back once at you without pulling to a stop. Unlike you, Ellie knew the lay of the land surrounding Jackson. You could find your way to Joel’s swimming pond and that was fucking it. You were half-surprised that Maria hadn’t insisted on blindfolding you for this little venture with how little you were allowed outside these days. And for what? Who the fuck were you supposed to bring here? Who the hell did she think you liked enough to remain in contact with?

“What’s your deal?” Ellie asked.

“My deal?” you repeated incredulously. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Look, I didn’t fucking ask to be saddled with you for this. If I’d had my way, I’d be going to Joel alone.”

“Too bad for me that your family seems so damn keen to keep you around.”

The back of Ellie’s neck turned slightly pink. When she looked at you a second time, you could have sworn that the ends of her lips were twitching up. You must have been mistaken; Ellie never smiled at you or because of you. Then again, you weren’t sure if you were mistaken when Ellie spoke again, her voice uncharacteristically soft: “Yeah, well, you need to get out sometimes, too.” Must have been those marshmallows talking.

Once in the forest, Callus Two slowed considerably. At this rate, it would be past dark by the time you got Ellie home. Maria hadn’t outright said you had a time limit, but you wouldn’t have been surprised to find her standing at the gate waiting for you if you took too long.

You snorted into the top of Ellie’s head and looked away. “Your gesture of kindness might be more appreciated if your fucking aunt hadn’t twisted my arm about it.”

“She shouldn’t have to twist your arm.”

“Why the fuck should I listen to her?”

It was Ellie’s turn to sound incredulous. “Because she’s in charge.”

Why did you have to explain the workings of Ellie’s family business to her? That round of food poisoning must have fried the last few brain cells in the kid’s head. “Tommy is in charge,” you said slowly.

Ellie’s responding eye roll was so massive that her head moved along with it. “Maria is in charge. Jackson belongs to her family. She used to run it with her dad before he—”

“Died,” you finished for her. Everyone’s loved ones were either dead or fungal, and it wasn’t hard to tell if it was the latter. “If it’s Maria’s settlement, why does Tommy give me all my assignments?”

“Maria can’t stand you,” Ellie said bluntly. “Kind of a repeated pattern in your life, if you think about it.”

Already the images were there. They had been creeping closer and closer and close every night since that bungled attempt at watch duty. You could see a stunted, misshapen figure chained to a tree just out of the corner of your eye, hear the grunting slowly turning into the godforsaken clicking, taste the ghost of warm meat in the back of your throat.

Holy fucking shit, could one glimpse of a familiar face in the dark really turn you back into a quivering member of the non-fungus walking dead that quickly?

“Fuck!” Ellie hissed. “Let go.”

Too late, you realized your ragged fingernails had dug into her side. You hastily forced your fingers to straighten, balance be damned, but you didn’t bother offering Ellie an apology. You simply sucked in a high, quick breath.

“You stand me,” you answered smoothly a moment later. Ellie snorted again, forcing you to add almost insolently, “And Joel.”

You had, of course, intended to get a rise out of Ellie. Baiting her was about the only fucking thing that brought you joy in this life anymore—and no way in Hell were you speeding your way along to Hell. You figured you might as well enjoy the simple things in life, but Ellie had to go and ruin that too. She didn’t immediately snap at you; in fact, she hardly responded at all. For what felt like a whole damn minute, the only sound in your ears was the steady beat of horse hooves against the wet leaves on the ground. When Ellie finally did speak, her voice was so quiet that you could barely hear:

“Did he ask you to go with him?”

“Huh?”

“Did Joel ask you to go with him?”

A frown pressed wrinkles into your forehead. Was Ellie fucking delusional all of a sudden? “Did Joel as me to go where?”

“This isn’t that hard of a question!” Ellie snapped, twisting in her seat to glare at you. “Did Joel ask you to go along with him on this trip or not?”

Now that you understood what Ellie wanted to know, you couldn’t prevent a bitter laugh from bubbling out of your lips. You had been afraid that things were about to turn genuinely serious there for a second. “Why the fuck would Joel ask me to go anywhere with him? You’ve heard him. I’m ‘quite frankly as useful as a chocolate teapot in the desert heat,’” you said, mimicking Joel’s drawl for the last bit.

For once, Ellie didn’t fire back with a comment about how you were as useless as a chocolate teapot. She really must have been sick, because she just turned back around and was silent again. Well, if the rest of this trip went by without Ellie’s typical useless chitchat, you could count that as a victory. You: one; Ellie: somewhere in the fucking thousands.

Unfortunately, she did not remain speechless. “He had a girl once, you know.”

Her tone was so different all of a sudden. You frowned at the back of her head. What did Joel’s past have to do with anything? He tolerated you because Ellie—for reasons that were beyond you—liked having you around.

“A daughter or a girlfriend?” you asked.

Again, Ellie fell silent. Obviously, she was still thinking about the girl, though, because her thin shoulders pinched together. You were only just starting to feel a burning annoyance at her for bringing the subject up if she wasn’t going to elaborate when she finally got her damn tongue back on track.

“A girlfriend,” she said quietly.

“Before or after?”

“After. I met her once. Tess.”

“Tess.”

What kind of woman had Tess been, you wondered? Tough, presumably, to have lasted that long. Joel took any and every insinuation that Ellie was anything other than his daughter so badly that Tess must have been old enough to be romantically involved with him instead. You imagined a tall woman, quiet, with smoldering coals in her eyes instead of fire. Maybe she had been a better shot than you, or more likely she had done something productive with her life. She’d definitely have been whole, at least, probably didn’t go around chopping off limbs in a wild attempt to stave off the inevitable burning of eternity.

Wait. Why the fuck did you care what Joel’s old girlfriend was like? You ought to have wished she was still around so she could fill in as parent-slash-guardian when he was gone. It was Joel’s fault you were being dragged on a horse out into the middle of nowhere to begin with!

While these unsettling thoughts flipped through your head, Ellie appeared to be lost in thought. You could not see her eyes from where you were sitting, but she held the reins loosely in her hands, unmoving other than the occasional twist to get Callus Two back on what she must have felt was the right track. Even more irritated to find that she could escape your presence that easily, you cleared your throat.

Ellie gave a fucking ridiculous start and said “What?” with obvious frustration, which you ignored.

“Where the hell is your dad anyway?” you asked.

Too much longer and the clickers would be out—and it wouldn’t easy to keep them from hearing the steady pounding of Callus Two’s hooves. Maybe a horse could take out a few of them on its own; maybe not. You weren’t all that eager to find out firsthand.

As soon as the question was out of your mouth, Ellie’s shoulders hunched again so that her shoulders were up around her ears. “Joel isn’t—”

But whatever Joel wasn’t (the possibilities were endless), you never got to hear. Laughter filled the air at several different pitches, and noise echoed against the tree trunks eerily in the red-orange light of the evening.

The smart thing to do probably would have been to keep going—but hell, you weren’t the one driving. Frowning, Ellie pulled your ride to a complete stop. In the shadows beyond Callus Two’s path, five darker shadows shifted, closer and closer, until their owners appeared: three ragtag men and a couple of equally ragged women. As always in bands such as these, there was an apparent leader; the dark-haired, relatively clean-shaven man stepped forward so that his relatively clean-shaven face showed clearly in the sun. As the laughter died away, he smiled a disarming smile that showed a surprisingly whole set of teeth.

“Oh, he’s far enough away, darling. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that.”

Ellie frowned down at the man. “Who the fuck are you?” she asked, tone mild.

None of the five had weapons drawn, though several backpacks had iron poles sticking out of their tops and the man in front had a sawed-off rifle in plain sight. For all of Ellie’s tense curiosity, however, his eyes were focused squarely on you. He did not even seem to have heard Ellie speak.

“How you doin’, sweetheart?” he asked, sauntering forward as casually as fuck.

Your eyes felt so wide that they might pop out of their sockets. Your fingers had once again latched onto Ellie’s hip as your only anchor to this goddamn earth. “Looks like that crazy plan of yours worked—‘less you just go runner slower than the rest of us.”

Your companion twisted in the saddle to gape at you. “You know him?”

You would have known him anywhere. Seeing him, your chest ached as badly as the day you had met, and once again you tasted meat in the back of your throat, the first real meal you had had in years and years and years.

“Ezekiel,” you breathed. And then, before Ellie could demand that you explain or before anyone else in that cramped forest space could react, you launched yourself off of Ellie’s fucking horse and tackled Ezekiel to the ground.

[eff-ston3mblogs]

ok quick rant and please like if you agree or relate or something so I don’t feel alone on this bc im gonna delete this anytime

1. Tumblrs whole rebrand isn’t accurate to the 2010s at all. im taking in scroll on the 2014 grunge tag and 1/30 post are actually accurate 2010s content. Like looks like it belongs on an old blog.

2. why EDs are being popular again. Honestly eating disorders never left obviously but it’s becoming popular to have one in the main media again. Of course there not out right saying ppl should have ed but like I can’t be going crazy here. I have nooo history with eating disorders at all except for that one summer when I didn’t eat much but that was just my appetite I didn’t actually want to starve myself. But these past couple of months I’ve been developing a small one and all these big back jokes DONT help. i might be at school and skip lunch because the school cafeteria makes me uncomfortable/ I don’t like seeing ppl eat or ppl seeing me eat; so when im starving in another class and I have the courage to maybe eat a candy bar and some random person calls me big like what?? also other things like ozempic and coke and honestly even tumblr making a comeback contributes to ppl getting eating disorders and even though I love the fandoms and community’s on here it’s an undeniable fact that the toxic side of tumblr is STILL here. I try my best personally not to show or promote eating disorders because they ARE deadly and horrible but I want to come clean about how I’ve been thinking or seeing things lately.

3.Bullying IS BACK

bullying has gotten so much worse it’s insane. A couple months ago when I first started this blog I was getting bullied and no one believed me except my mom. i couldn’t stand up for my self or tell anyone. and it has effected me a lot; the point of bullying is to change someone because they don’t fit a standard. and omg even online like why are we so mean. the other day i was talking to someone and the thing is I don’t have a lot of friends and the group I do have I don’t talk to about how I feel because I don’t think they would take it serious. And I told them about a time when someone made fun of me for liking a show and they laughed and said they were make fun of me to. and how if they didn’t know me they would bully me for believing in stuff like genuinely being kind to your friends and others.

4 sorry for the yap sessions guys

💗🌙💗🌙💗🌙💗🌙💗🌙💗🌙💗🌙💗🌙💗

[scarlettscribbles]

a little help from your family (1/2)

PART OF neither the angels in heaven above, nor the demons by the sea DRABBLE SERIES ↠ masterlist

- Lucy Gray Baird & Daughter!OC, endgame Lucy Gray Baird x Coriolanus Snow

Summary: 1.4k words - Tigris meets her niece.

a/n: adding a tags-list for all those that want to be updated when i update this drabble series! just comment below or send me an ask

tags-list: @cdragons

Coryo came back from District 12 triumphant but different. Tigris had expected him to come back with the Victor girl — with his Victor girl — but he only came back with an emptiness in his eyes, molding him into a man that was supposed to be long dead.

It sowed the seeds of fear in her, fear that she tried so hard to smother because that was her boy. That was her Coryo. The little cousin who clung to her so tightly during the nights when hunger pains would send them crying, the boy who’d sought out her comfort time and time again, who’d come to her first with every achievement. She’d once told him that he could be good, something she’d wholeheartedly believed at the time, but now… Now it’s less of a belief and more of a desperate hope.

Their penthouse grew brighter and more opulent. Their fridge was always stocked, sometimes obscenely so. Grandma’am glowed with happiness and Tigris tried her best to mimic the same. Oh for certain there were good times, still. The day Coryo surprised her with a sewing machine and a chest full of rich fabrics and materials, he’d been so giddy and proud, looking to her for approval. Tigris had given it to him, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his cheek. They had passed the time talking— well, it was mostly Tigris talking, ranting about the new designs she was going to be able to try out, flitting about the room and showing Coryo her sketches for him.

The moment had been cut short when an alarm rang, reminding Coryo of a meeting with Dr. Volumnia Gaul.

Moments like that were few and far in between. As Coryo grew more powerful, the distance between grew, the space in his life that provided him guidance occupied by someone else. Someone who had been able to help him more than Tigris could, despite her best efforts. Being displaced was such a sore feeling. Tigris hated Dr. Volumnia Gaul for pouring poison in Coryo’s ears, but she knew that Coryo had made a choice too.

Tigris drowned herself with work, using her creations as some sort of escape. She became proficient and famous enough to no longer work under Fabricia, likely thanks in part of Coryo’s influence who had been insistent that he only wore out clothes of her making. Tigris found a temporary joy in it, that was, until Coryo informed her that he found a spot for her as a designer in the upcoming 11th Hunger Games.

It made her sick. All the new "improvements" to the Games made her sick. The Capitol loved it, of course. As if the glitz and glamor can cover up the mountain of dead bodies and the smell of blood.

Her only consolation had been Mrs. Plinth, who she’d grown close to. She was sympathetic to the tributes, though highly cautious of expressing it. More so since her son had died, Tigris thought.

Her first tribute was a kind girl from District 4 who later went on to win, to Tigris’ guilty relief. On their first meeting, Mags Flanagan asked her about Lucy Gray Baird. Tigris nearly cried at that moment, feeling grateful that someone else besides her still remembered the songs and colors of the girl who changed her life.

Coryo’s constant brushing off of her questions regarding Lucy Gray had made Tigris fretful of the fate of the young woman, thinking that he might have done something to her. There must have been something that happened to turn the smitten boy with lovesick eyes into a hateful, unyielding man whenever Lucy Gray was mentioned.

“It was a lapse of judgment, Tigris. We realized we had diverging paths. I wanted to go back here in the Capitol and she—“ He turned away from her, but not before she got a glimpse of the strange look on his face. “She wanted to sing in the woods forever.”

It was not long after that that Tigris decided to move out of their penthouse and into the apartment above her own shop. She had felt guilty for doing so, leaving her Grandma’am in the primary care of Mrs. Plinth, but she made sure to visit often. Tigris hadn’t been sure if it was a good choice, but now…

“Is that you, Lucy Gray? Lucy Gray Baird?” Tigris asked before realizing the urgency of the situation. She didn’t wait for an answer, already ushering them in.

Lucy Gray smiled tiredly as Tigris led them into the waiting of her store. She immediately sat down, sighing as she shifted the bundle in her arms. Flaxen locks peeked from underneath the coat.

“Are— are you alright?” Lucy Gray looked no less beautiful than she had five years ago, last she’d seen her on the screen. She looked more mature now, though, sad and worried.

“Tigris I apologize for coming so suddenly. I know we don’t really know each other apart from whatever Coriolanus has said but I really, really don’t know where to go to.” she said in a rush, barely breathing between each word. “My daughter, my Annie, she’s sick and the doctor said she needed a heart transplant or else—“ Lucy Gray sobbed, a lone, heartbreaking sound. Tears streamed down her face.

“Lucy Gray breathe,” Tigris coaxed, hurriedly retrieving a piece of cloth from the scraps she had by her sewing machine. “I need you to breathe okay? I’m going to do my best to help you, but first I need you to breathe.”

Lucy Gray accepted the cloth, wiping her tears and composing herself. “I’m sorry again—“

“No need to apologize,” Tigris replied kindly, sitting across her visitors.

“I suppose introductions are in order,” Lucy Gray sniffed, sliding the hood of the coat of the bundle in her arms, kissing the child’s forehead before shifting them slightly so their face could be seen in the dim lighting. “This is my Annabel Rose Baird. She’s asleep now but she would love to meet you again when she’s awake.”

Tigris couldn’t hold back a gasp. “Oh, Coryo. What have you done?” Her mind ran wild with the possible reasons why Lucy Gray raised her daughter alone. "She looks a great deal like you."

"A great deal like him too," Lucy Gray responded. “Me and him, we weren’t planning on having Annie, it just kind of happened.

“See, we were supposed to go north to escape, to run away. He’d killed the mayor’s daughter, Mayfair, and another fella shot her boyfriend, Billy Taupe. The Peacekeepers were wantin’ to hunt down the culprits and the guns used. I was a major suspect since Mayfair hated me and Billy Taupe was my ex. I said I needed to go, he said he’d come with.

“While we were on the way, he told me he killed three people but I’d only known two of them. And he wouldn’t tell me the truth. I— I think it might have been Sejanus. Plinth. The other boy who’d been in the Peacekeepers with him? They played a recording when he was executed and he kept calling out for Coriolanus and his Ma when they hung him.” Lucy Gray shivered. “The mockingjays kept echoing his cries. It’s still in my nightmares even now.”

A small part of Tigris had suspected it, but to hear Lucy Gray’s confirmation was chilling. She felt so undeserving of the generosity of the Plinth’s.

“I wanted to tell him about Annie, I really did. For a moment, I entertained this fantasy of having a complete family, of my daughter never wanting for a missing presence in her life but, well, at that point I didn’t trust Coriolanus with anything. So I ran. Next I’d heard was him shoutin’ in the forest about me tryin’ to kill him. He started firing when he heard the mockingjays repeat my song.”

Tigris felt a bit sick at the onslaught of information. There was the difference between speculation and fact. “I’m sorry, Lucy Gray. I’m sorry that you had to do this alone.”

Lucy Gray looked at her daughter — Tigris’ niece, dear god — with so much love that it made her heart hurt. “It was fine. I wouldn’t have traded her for anything,” she said. “This isn’t the farthest I would go just to see her be alright.”

A tear slipped down Tigris’ cheek. “Tell me, Lucy Gray,” she said with as much sincerity as she could. “What do we have to do?”

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Poll analysis part 3

Well I haven't done one of these in a while because I've been focusing on the nicknames and funny tags post But we are definitely due for another one because I've definitely noticed a change and behavior. Plus we've had a lot more and fandoms requested so that might be a contributing factor.

Let's start with the unhinged trio. Think we're due for a lineup change there. It used to be JJK, Black Butler and Dorohedoro. However the latter two only go crazy over a certain character.

Jujutsu Kaisen definitely still deserves its spot There's a reason I picked them to be the first fandom to get a Nicknames and funny tags post in fact they need an update Desperately because you guys are still up to your same old unhinged antics. I've just been busy with other fandoms (one piece) that say even more outrageous crap in the comments

Now One Piece I think you guys took that nickname and funny tag post as a challenge to be as unhinged and creative with your tags as possible because every time I think you all can't possibly get any worse. Someone puts a tag that's even crazier and now I have to update that post with more tags and new characters again.

Now the third spot of the unhinged trio should probably go to Trigun because you guys can't stop talking about Wolfwood's slutty Catholic titties and Vash's snatched little slutty waist. Plus someone has sent a match up request of their weapons no less than three times even though the rules plainly state no weapons so I think we definitely qualify for unhedged trio territory.

My Hero Academia You guys only showed up for the bunny girl and I get it. She's hot. Or to crap on endeavor, that's about it.

Attack on Titan. I finally have found proof of life. The fandom might be in a coma, but at least there's a pulse I thought that fandom was dead but someone or group of people is sending in quite a few requests for that fandom.

And now on to Naruto my problem child fandom. I am not kidding You're the fandom that refuses us to send in photos, but will throw a tantrum if it's not the photo from the correct era of the anime even though I have no clue what you're talking about. Normally when people don't like the photo with any other fandom a dozen better photos of the character will randomly appear in my inbox. Not with the Naruto fandom. I get 10 hate messages saying it's from the wrong era of the anime and I should know that. But does anyone send me a better photo from the correct era of the anime? No. Well actually that's not entirely true the a few times this fandom has sent in replacement photos it's from when in the anime I know the characters are still 14 I've done way too much research into when in canon characters turn 16 and what particular character design/outfit marks that in the timeline for this particular show because of how much I feel like I can't trust this particular fandom as a whole to follow rules. So, remember people I can't read your mind and you are the only fandom that wants to throw a fit over photos like this. Plus the few times I have tried to address the issues with the photos and try to fix the problem you guys want to get combative and very aggressive in the comments. Plus I swear you all are allergic to rules because at least 70% to 80% of requests relating to your fandom have some sort of issue. Whether it's trying to bend the rules or just outright breaking them to massive formatting problems. No other fandom causes me this many headaches. So please for the sake of my sanity do better

Sorry about that. I needed to rant about my problem child fandom maybe now they will start behaving.

When it comes to formatting there is a group of about three people that made requests either everyday or every 2 to 3 days and it was the max amount of request/matchups they could do in a single day according to the rules. They did this the entire time the box was open so they had their formatting down to a science. So basically any fandom that these people requested a lot of had really good track records for formatting and not trying to blatantly break the rules. So One Piece, JoJo's, Attack on Titan and Avatar/Korra all have very good track records right now

But with most fandoms they do a pretty good job of following the rules. No one is as bad as Naruto. Now there are some common issues and major incidents I've had so I'll go ahead and list them below

The common issues are just forgetting to put the name of the show or spelling, but Google can normally figure that out so that's not a major problem or people submitting a character that is video game only and not part of the anime adaptation. Persona, pokémon and Tekken are The worst offenders when it comes to this. Other major issues that come up frequently are with character ages? But it's normally with characters that look like they're adults. So I really don't hold that against people. I'm just guessing that people didn't realize they're actually teenagers but hopefully that will not be as much of a problem but since I dropped the age down to 16.

Now recent issues I've had to address were formatting issues where it was bad enough that I couldn't make it out due to dyslexia. Trigun has tried to submit weapons no less than three times even though that is blatantly against the rules. Like I mentioned earlier Naruto likes to submit photos from when the characters are 12 to 14 that doesn't fit the rules especially when photos are available from the correct age range that do follow the rules. So those are the ones I use no matter how many times they throw temper tantrums. Dungeon Meshi has submitted a 14-year-old and Soul Eater submitted a 13-year-old and said they were 16 in the request. So they lied. Luckily someone told me so I was able to delete those polls quite quickly, but now I can't trust anyone. So if you ever wonder why it takes so long for me to empty out the request box this is why

Oh but good news, no one has submitted a request since I've closed the box I basically consider that a miracle because the last two times there have been people that have not cared that the box is closed. So let's keep it that way please. I don't mind questions, just no requests. The box is closed I still have like 150 more individual messages that have multiple poll requests on them to get through before I open it again

Well that's going to be all for this post again. And I hope at least someone found this entertaining or informative or at least something. There will probably be another one of these in the future

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Ok I am in rant mode again, sorry, this blog just happens to be a place where I dump all my thoughts negative and positive both, unfortunately for all who follow me. But I have seen some bad and incorrect takes from anti darkling/darklinas. So here’s just a few things I want to say.

Firstly LB has never stated that she based the darkling on her ab*sive ex. This is misinformation that was spread by antis. The only thing she has ever said about an ab*sive relationship was that she wrote the first book, Shadow and Bone, at a dark time in her life right after she had got out of a bad relationship. She has said in the past that the darkling was inspired by every bad boy she’s had a crush on in fiction including david bowie’s the goblin king. 

So it seems from these comments like the character was supposed to emulate those types of characters that woman find attractive, the ones you would fall for. 

I’ve also seen the argument that LB clearly wrote the darkling as a villain, well LB might disagree with you there as she herself has said on multiple occasions that she doesn’t write villains: 

LB says that the darkling believes he is doing the right thing and that ‘you can make a case for most of the choices he makes, even the despicable ones.’ So if LB says that she doesn’t write villains and that you can make a case for his actions you can’t really blame darkling fans for doing the same. 

The truth is LB promoted the heck out of both the darkling and darklina (or as it was known back then Darlina and Alarkling) when she was writing the og trilogy, even admitting to ‘fanning the flames’ when talking about people shipping m*lina and darklina and was clearly encouraging the shipping of both ships: 

She also put out teases for the darkling and darklina:

And promoted darklina fan edits even using the ship tags: 

It was only post the release of book three that she changed her tune, likely because of all the backlash she got about the ending of the books. So no LB wasn’t always against fans shipping darklina or liking the darkling. All of this information is easily found with a simple google search, I wasn’t even in the fandom back then being a show watcher first and yet I was still able to learn all of this with minimal difficulty. 

Which brings me to the whole darklina being an allegory for a older man manipulating a younger girl and how the darklina fans ‘missed this’. Well if they did miss it then it was for a very good reason, but the truth is darklina’s didn’t miss it, we just didn’t think it made sense within the narrative, the darklina fandom have talked about it, myself included, in fact I’ve already posted a whole pretty much essay on the topic. But let me explain why some people may have ‘missed it’ and why it doesn’t work in the story or with darklina as the allegory. The first is because LB chose to use an immortal/immortal couple for this allegory. The thing with immortality in fiction, especially as love interests, is it makes age pretty much meaningless. The whole point of immortals is that they are ageless. Immortal ships have always been accepted within fiction and this whole age gap issue has never come up before. Nobody was going omg but the age gap yuck with Bella and Edward when twilight came out, or when Magnus and Alec got together in Shadowhunters or with any of the ships in Vampire Diaries. Yet now anti’s are trying to use the argument that the darkling is 100s of years older than Alina and that’s creepy all of a sudden. Sorry but not in my book, an immortal is always going to be significantly older than anyone else what’s the alternative they spend eternity alone, never knowing love? At least with darklina they are both immortal. Another reason why it doesn’t work is because of how the darkling is described in the book, he is said to not look much older than Alina, so in the books he looks like a teenager. So of course people weren’t going to pick up on the older guy/younger girl allegory because the darkling isn’t presented in the books as an older guy. He’s described the same way every other immortal being in every YA book at that time was. It’s also worth noting that I am not sure if LB ever actually said that darklina were supposed to represent a older guy with a younger girl or whether that was something the fandom came up with. I’m not saying she didn’t just that I myself have never seen a direct quote from her that I recall and I wasn’t able to find one. I think the first time I heard of it was when someone sent me an ask about the topic. I know that she has said it was meant to serve as a warning of attractive and charismatic men being able to manipulate young girls but I don’t know that she herself has ever talked about an age gap or specifically mentioned older men? 

Another thing that I have been seeing alot of are comments like darkling/darklina fans only like him because he is hot. What bothers me about this is firstly even if that were true and the only reason people liked him was because he is hot, so what? There’s nothing wrong with that, its fiction and fiction is used to escape for a bit, its for enjoyment and entertainment, so if that enjoyment and entertainment comes in the form of staring at the hot guy irregardless of whether they are the hero or villain, let them be. Why are you criticising the way someone enjoys fiction? Sometimes a gal just wants to look at the hot guy. Secondly its just a really irrelevant argument because the darkling is not the only hot, charismatic character in the books or show. M*l is also described as being attractive and charismatic with no shortage of friends and girls, Nikolai is another character that fits that description, so by this argument the only reason M*l fans like him is because he is hot, and the only reason Nikolai fans like him is because he is hot. Thirdly its just plainly not true, whilst I am sure there may be some fans who only like him because he is hot, again nothing wrong with that, most fans like him for a variety of different reasons because he is an interesting and complicated character. As someone who spends a fair bit of time in the darkling/darklina tags the most common reason I have seen for fans liking him is because of his dedication to the grisha, his willingness to fight for the grisha something that he has dedicated 100′s of years of his life too. Personally I like Aleksander/the darkling because he has a sympathetic backstory, because he is fighting for the grisha and when seeing that they had no place to go where they could be free from fear he vowed to make them a safe place, a sanctuary, of course I am going to root for that goal too. I like him because he is complicated and complex and despite being an immortal being who has become deeply effected by past traumas there is still something beautifully human about him, particularly in the show. I also like the connection he has with Alina, the whole yin/yang of it and them being each others balance. I love the complexity and angst of them having this deep connection and pull to each other but also having this anger and sense of betrayal, how they have to try and navigate around having different points of view and seeing the world in a different ways, it makes for a very compelling story and their chemistry in the show is electric. The fact that he is hot is merely a bonus, but even if he wasn’t a conventionally attractive person I would still like his character because of those complexities, because of that connection he has with Alina. But one thing this rant has done is make me curious as to what my other fellow darkling/darklina fans like about the darkling? What drew you to the character? Anyway that’s enough ranting for one day, again my apologies, I am going to go and rewatch season 1 of shadow and bone in preparation for season 2′s release tomorrow...sheepishly shuffles off my soapbox, waving awkwardly.   

[fuesch]

Agatha All Along 1x06

Oh, look who's confirmed to be Jewish. Now everybody who's been prematurely ranting can chill. Yay!

It's a magick mitzvah even. Is that an actual thing or are they witchy Jews.

A golden lion embroidered on that dark fabric - I'd love to be normal, but how can I when it reminds me of the silver tigers on the jacket we first saw Peter in?!

WTF, Billy's dad looks like a bearded version of Director Hayward to me. Those eyes are way too similar.

Billy's met Lilia before?! Okay, so he's not Billy M. yet and the way Lilia is talking makes it seem there'll be no merging of the Billys, the original B. Kaplan will actually die. How depressing.

I can't believe the sigil came from Lilia! And why?!

Whoa, the Hex exists already. The original Billy K. only just got that prediction from Lilia and has so little time left. There wasn't much "now" to enjoy anymore. D:

Whoa, Wanda had even broadcast on radio! AFAIR I never thought about that other people might pick up that signal! There must be some out there still watching with antenna or dish, who have actually seen Wanda's show.

Oh, his parents actually call him William. Well, that's a nice way to differentiate the characters without involving last names.

Alice!

If nothing is physically wrong with Billy, does that mean he has healing powers?

Poor freshly reincarnated Billy having a really bad and confusing time. And his new parents as well. :o(

Billy and Eddie making out - I'm slightly scared of going into that AAA tag now, there'll be so many disappointed Agatha/Rio shippers who thought it would be their ship doing the smooching.

"Nothing in my life has felt normal until I met you." Awwwww.

Woah, I'm starting to think there was actually something to those theories about ep 5 being Billy's trial. In his room are the Eastview pennant and the chain of tetraeder-covered lights we saw in the trial house.

A "trans lives matter" poster in Billy's room. Of course he's a good boy.

Ooh, Billy did some research. "Strange occurences persist to haunt Westview residents" Interesting, tell me more!

Avengers training exercise gone wrong. Uh huh.

I didn't watch the mid-season trailer, but saw a cap on Twitter. The quality wasn't great (which kept me from brightening it in Photoshop, as there was nothing more to see), but I did see some hair sticking out from under the hat. Hey, you know who has somewhat long hair? And that outfit is so unlike Peter, that it's gotta be his disguise. Today I saw a post on my Twitter timeline linking to an article about Mr. Bucket Hat's identity and couldn't resist. I held the mouse over the link to read the URL and had my confirmation. So I changed my plans and instead of doing preparations for stuff, I watched the episode.

Was super excited when I saw that the episode link on D+ is a cap of Billy & boyf in an underground garage. Which, you know, is the place where one would meet someone who's hiding their identity. And despite seeing this announced in that cap, I can't believe it's Billy meeting Peter. I mean, they're multiverse family, they've met before, yet neither knows this, ARGH!

What was Mr. Bucket Hat throwing and then putting in his pocket? My first thought is something with a sigil on it, but then he wouldn't remember Westview.

Bohnerrific69. Sorry, I LOLed way too loudly. But should you use that name when you're hiding from the authorities and maybe others?!

IS THAT WHAT THE BEARD WAS FOR?!?!

"Randall" isn't any better, Randy! Somebody give this man some help coming up with aliases!

"Bub"? Hmmmmm… boy, do I wonder where Horny Stiffy picked up that word. What a mystery, we shall never know.

OMFG, Peter, what did they do to you?! The Hex was such a bad time for him that he's still having a bad time 3 years later. My poor baby. I wonder if all the protection stuff he has all over actually does something. But if not, at least it should ease his mind somewhat.

I wonder if there's anything interesting on his shirt. Anyone know what it says?

Agatha stole your house? Baby, that belonged to WitSec. Maybe he really does have a sigil, but it only works on his actual identity, not the Hex one. I mean, it looks like he's been to a witch, so maybe while there he asked to forget who he is so he wouldn't miss his old life in his own universe. Does he even know he's run away from witness protection? If not, that would explain the unwise choice of screenname.

"I was a terrible influence on Wanda and Vision's kids." No, no, you were the best uncle! That's really not something to feel guilty about.

Agatha had Peter poison Sparky! FFS, Agatha! "Woof" - "Hey!" I second Peter's comment.

Hearing Peter say speedster gave me heart tickles.

He has a one-man show! So 1. He really seems to think the identity Monica uncovered is his real one, 2. He's not hiding, WTF?! No way WitSec didn't find him. Maybe they leave him alone because he's living under an alias and his show isn't popular enough to attract attention?

Poor Billy thinking Wanda and Vision are dead. But as long as he can't remember them, it shouldn't be that bad.

Oh, so Agatha caused disasters in the non-magical world too. And she's Jolene?!

"Fun facts: Murdered her entire coven." Fun indeed!

Billy really is on the Road for Tommy! Oh, right, as a survivor of the Witches' Road, Agatha would be very useful. I had forgotten about that.

Wait, has Agatha always been wearing that Bohner family reunion shirt ("pitch a tent" XD) when she was at home with Rio?! Dammit, I feel a mighty need for that shirt now. They better give us that merch. Never mind, thanks, @xmcu-fietro!

Okay, but that shirt means that the name wasn't a creation of the Hex, holy shit! Are you telling me WitSec seriously gave him that name? Peter must have managed to piss them off beforehand.

Joe Locke was so close to losing it in that "poking the bear" scene. But since he kept it together, they could use that take. Good for us, hee.

The actors seemed to have fun. I guess that excessive pen clicking was also improvised.

"I do not wanna go back in the closet." XD

So the sigil was still working when Billy suspected his real identity, as well as when he said it the first time to Agatha. So what would finally break it?

Agatha manages to free herself from the mud. And what about Lilia and Jen?

Billy with the hoodie of shame. He's really is so much like his mom.

"It's nice to see you again, Billy." The soft way she says it sounds like she means it. Did she always like the Minimoffs or did she just decide to adopt him because she had suspected him to be Nicky?

Huh, the sigil is broken, but I don't understand how. Sure, Billy just crushed it the thing it was on, but that won't have done it. Ugh, I have no patience, dig up Lilia and make her answer my question!

Just after the topic of body count, Agatha asks where Billy got his new body. Whoa, what if he thinks he killed William? I mean, maybe she does, but I hope he doesn't.

"all that power you can't control without throwing a temper tantrum." Your multiverse grandpa would be so proud!

"She chose a town full of strangers over her own flesh and wires." I mean, she kinda had to take down the Hex, there wasn't much choice, Agatha. Not to mention that witch that nagged her into it.

Tommy is out there, Billy can sense him! *mewl*

"Gosh, you really are a Maximoff. Otherwise none of this would be nearly as dramatic." XD But this is why we love them!

The pathetic way I was waiting for Evan Peters (huh, look at #6 being the Peter episode again) to show up in the credits in hopes of getting hints about the character from the background image. It's just the Westview map with the Hex.

[oncewhenalongtimeago]

Hi! Sorry for my bad English, it's not my first language and I hope it's understandable :(

Anyway, I love how you write about Hiccup and look forward to the continuation of "Sorry, but I Think I Lost Your Plot" (If there is continuation) <3

Well, I do not know what your conditions are, but I would ask something related to Hiccup have a huge crush on Y/n and he end up accidentally confessing his feelings for her. Thank you !❤

Sorry, but I Think I Lost Your Plot pt 3

Pairing: Onesided!Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III x Modern!Fem!Reader

Words: 1934

After things get dicey you share a little bit of your future knowledge.

Tags: Time Travel, Reader into Movieverse, Dragons: Riders of berk, When Lightning Strikes

<Previous - Next>

The thing about getting jointly kidnapped with Hiccup by Meatlug was that people also gave you credit. Fortunately for you, as the months went on and after the hassle of Snoggletog, people stopped congratulating you on the street and you fizzled out into blessed anonymity, just the way you liked it, and life went back to your new normal.

You’d been avoiding going into town since summer hit, which was lightning storm season, boy was it rough, and everyone had started putting up large metal objects. You could practically feel the buzz of electricity, the hairs on your neck standing on end. However, you couldn’t avoid everyone forever, though you made one hel of an effort. 

Hesitantly, you knocked on the forge window, package in hand. Over the counter was Hiccup, with a rag, doing some scrubbing over what looked like a very large, very crude statue of who you’d come to know in the island as Thor.

“Delivery!” You called, with as much good humor as you could muster, “Hi.”

The way into the forge was open as it usually was. You scuffed your feet in the dirt and looked back and forth, as if someone would jump out at you and tell you you weren’t allowed to go in. When no one appeared magically to tell you off, which might have been difficult considering the clearing behind you was empty, you slipped inside.

“Hi,” You said again, closer to Hiccup this time. Hiccup himself startled, looking back like you’d caught him in some sort of foul act.

“Hi. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi,” He said, shoulders stiff, “How are you- I mean, what brings you here?”

You creased your eyebrows, before deciding to ignore his weird behavior.

“...What are you working on?” You asked, peering around him at the statue with only minor dread. It would probably be just another thing to avoid until the end of summer, yeah, but it looked pretty cool.

“Uh- statue!” He deepended his voice unnaturally and cleared his throat, “Hoping to appease Thor, you know. The works.” 

Hiccup not-so-casually leaned on the statue, though you didn’t find it very odd as everyone in the village was acting the same way recently. Something about the perches, which wasn’t very surprising. You’d seen a mob go by earlier, ranting something angrily about dragons. You weren’t super familiar with many of the plots past the movies but you hoped you hadn’t changed anything vital.

“How come?” A small part of you hoped the statue wasn’t some sort of secret you’d stumbled onto by accident. That would be bad news, and very counterproductive.

“You’ve heard about what’s been going on recently, right?” Hiccup deflated.

You shook your head no, setting down the small brown paper wrapped parcel onto a nearby workbench.

“Well, uh,” He started nervously, A line of sweat gathered by his brow, “Since the storms hit, lightning started hitting the perches. It’s been following Toothless around, and everyone;s been saying it’s because of him, so the other Riders and I- they were here earlier- we built the statue.”

He looked incredibly put out and tired, the same way you’d been around Snoggletog.

“If he’s the Offspring of Lightning and Death then why would, you know, the lightning go for him?” You offered, cringing, “It doesn’t make sense.”

You’d done your best to stay out of the dragon politics. It was hard to take seriously, given your background. And, also, everyone got a little bit heated whenever the subject was brought up, which usually ended in blood. Double also, as an outlier who was quite literally very disconnected from the situation, you had a lot of odd and unpopular opinions. So, yeah, you avoided it. But now, looking at him, you kind of felt bad.

 “I mean, I’m not trying to sound blasphemous or anything, but also then theoretically shouldn’t the Gods have shot you down earlier? There are better ways to have done you in, probably. And still get the message across. I don’t know.” 

You paused, and when he didn’t react, you hesitantly continued, despite every instinct shouting at you not to. 

“Either way, setting up more metal is kind of a dangerous way to go about it, isn’t it?” You shuffled your feet nervously, “Would probably be best to take them down?”

Maybe then you could run around town more often.

“What do you mean?” Hiccup looked a little scandalized. Definitely blasphemous. There was no going back now, though.

 “I mean, metal attracts lighting. So it doesn’t matter who you’re trying to appease. You’re probably just going to get your signals mixed.”

You didn’t say any more on the subject. Probably wouldn’t be helpful to say that most people in the modern day didn’t believe in the Norse Gods. You were so going to get axed.

“What do you mean?” He asked again, still staring at you blankly.

“Lighting is usually attracted to tall objects, but if there’s metal in the area, it’ll go to that. Learned it in elementary.”

“Elementary,” Hiccup mouthed, confused. The thing about being in the past and being able to speak two languages, one of which didn’t even exist yet, was that you could say whatever word you wanted and no one would get it. That was also a downside, in multiple different aspects.

“Anyways,” You stuttered, unwilling to explain that, “There’s a thing people used to set up by their houses back home so lightning wouldn’t hit their houses when it got stormy. A metal rod or something. The perches are probably, ah- the statue’s good. If you gave it to her, Gothi might appreciate it. I mean, she does live on top of the mountain. Would probably keep her from getting struck, you know?”

“Are you sure?” Hiccup asked. He looked like a dog who’d just gotten a bone.

“About Gothi?” You asked, rubbing the back of your neck, “I mean…”

You paused, rolling up and down the balls of your feet and looked around, unsure of what you were supposed to say.

“Am I going to get in trouble for being in here? I don’t want to-” You turned back around. Hiccup was gone.

Gobber had just walked by you shaking his head at the sky, seemingly blind to your appearance.

You looked left and right at the dispersing crowd, wondering what was going on as you began to slog your way through. Everyone, as they left, seemed sort of disinterested and annoyed.

At the front of the crowd was Hiccup, looking incredibly singed and dazed from where he was on the docks. His father, the Chief, and Astrid, were nearby. Astrid had just begun to leave. Stoick, it seemed, was finishing up a hardy lecture and scolding.

You decided to wait politely until he was finished and ogling at the small array of large and small metal rods until the Chief left. Perhaps that was what had drawn you outwards. You’d heard rather than seen a pretty big commotion earlier, which led you down the cliffs  despite your ultimate resolution to stay out of everyone else’s crazy business. Some things were just unavoidable. Or unignorable. Curiosity was a part of human nature, after all.

“Oh,” Hiccup said, once the two of you were left mostly alone, besides the occasional straggling fisherman, “Hi.”

“You made all this?” You said. You put the pieces together fairly quickly, “That’s really cool.” 

“Couldn’t have done it…” He mumbled, “Without your help.”

“You probably would have figured it out on your own,” You suggested wearily. His eyes were sort of glazed over, like hw wasn’t completely there, which set alarm bells ringing in your head, “Hey, are you alright?”

Hiccup stumbled forwards, roughly tugging your hands into his own before he picked them up, grinning widely. His hands were oddly hot to the touch and his left hand was red in a pattern that looked sort of like worms. 

“I think I love you,” He declared. It looked like he was going to lean forward for a second, before stumbling backwards and collapsing onto the wood dock.

“What happened…?” Hiccup uttered exhaustedly, cradling his bandaged head.

He looked around groggily, slowly taking in the grassy dried herb smell of Gothi’s hut and the bowls of spices and bones lining the walls

You were seated on a stool by the bedside, currently his, probably Gothi’s when there were no patients around. 

“You collapsed. So I, uh, I pulled you up here. How are you feeling?” You asked cautiously, wrinkling your brows. 

“Uh, hi?” Hiccup’s eyes widened, flushed like he was embarrassed, “I’m good. I’m so good.”

Hiccup tried to lean back, though the heavy bandaging wrapped around his lightning-scarred arm prevented him from doing that safely. His expression stiffened and he looked down, eyeballing his ruined sleeves.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” You said, “I couldn’t understand what Gothi was saying and we kind of had to cut your sleeve off to get to your arm. The lightning kind of burned it weird too, and it was sticking to your skin, so yeah.”

“Oh, it’s alright,” Hiccup scratched at his cheek with his alright arm, looking a little bit bummed out, “I have more at home.”

“Well, yeah, maybe, but-” You sighed, a little put off, “Anyways, I didn’t have enough to pick up anything nice but a bunch of people heard and helped me pitch in for a new shirt.”

You nodded down to the red tunic laying on the bed by his foot. It wasn’t his signature green but they didn’t really have that, which was unfortunate because red dyed fabric was expensive. Hopefully he’d be out of it soon and in his normal wear. It was going to be weird seeing him in red.

“Oh, wow.” Hiccup said, “Really?”

“Oh, sorry,” You said, after your knuckles scraped each other. You met him halfway with the tunic and pulled it taut when he tried to unfurl it with one hand, so the whole thing was on display.

“Th-anks,” Hiccup said, as if a spare piece of food had gotten stuck in his throat.

You responded with an unhurried “No Problem,” as he gave it a once-over. 

After a moment, he let it down and you took the signature to let go as he clumsily folded it again, leaving it to sit in his lap over the old, scratchy blanket Gothi had provided.

“Yeah,” Hiccup mumbled, squinting, after a moment, “What… exactly happened? I mean, I have a few memories, but it’s all really blurry. I remember- I- Uh-”

Hiccup shut up.

You winced. 

“Yeah, you, ah, got struck by lightning, I think. Unfortunately. But you did prove Toothless was innocent, so there’s that.”

“Yeah?” Hiccup very studiously examined the wall to his left.

“By the way,” You started him, “You said something before you fell unconscious.”

Hiccup laughed nervously, “Nothing weird?”

“I’m not sure. I haven’t really learned the word in Norse yet.” You said, shifting in the stool, which was just starting to make your back ache.

“Learned-? Uh,” Very decidedly, Hiccup shut his eyes. His face said exactly what he was thinking, which was ‘Oh Gods,’ “What did I say?”

“What does ‘love’ mean?” You stared at him, question in your eyes. Hiccup opened his mouth once, then closed it, then he opened it again.

It looked like he was having some sort of battle with himself. You decided that maybe you should leave him alone about it for now. And rightly so, because instead of answering, Hiccup decided to lay back down and roll back towards the wall.

[gastersans]

Hey guys!

I’m sorry I haven’t been around much lately. It’s not fair to people I care very much about to be silent! The long story short is that life hits you very fast and all at once sometimes on many levels, and my unfortunate tendency in hectic mode is to shut out and focus on just getting to the next day. It’s no excuse, of course, but I do hope you understand—and I hope you all are hanging in there as well.

I’m not sure when I can return to writing again, but I hope to. It always seems like I’m waiting to have some time and energy, but I think I’m just going to have to intentionally build a block for the creative things important to me among everything. Even if I’m not publishing anything, I am always thinking about it in one part of my mind. I love those stories, and I’m so glad to share them with you.

Thank you to anyone who was checking in! I love you all always, even if I don’t have the words to reply—and I’m always going to try to better show that.

Tl;dr below the cut: details of life been going on.

:read more:

Thanks for being curious! I’ll try to be as brief as I can, but I have traditionally failed at every attempt at that in these posts. To be honest, the past year or two has been a bit of a blur, so I’ll just talk in generalities rather than a specific timeline.

Everything at work changed at the organizational level. Unfortunately I can’t say much about it—for personal reasons, which I know is odd to say. My work is mixed in with family ties, justices and beliefs I advocate for, etc, so I can’t talk too much about it—but boy is that lasagna layered. That dynamic alone is both a hugely important but often very stressful to navigate in of itself.

Among the organizational change, my position drastically changed—I went from clinician to a manager of the sizeable department I worked for—and then a couple months later inherited a second, nearly double the size department to manage on top of it when my fellow manager left.

Right as my position was changing for the first time, my dad—living states away—got sick with some still undiagnosed illness. Bizarre body movements, signs of a stroke but no evidence found—not Parkinson’s, though the symptoms seem somewhere between it and a slow rolling dementia. If you’d like to read a small loving rant about my dad: My father is the most wonderful, kindest, politest, humblest human who is also a literal unrecognized hero twice over—he dedicated his entire life his two jobs. One was his role as an assistant Harbormaster—not infrequently rescuing people, lost in dark seas in the dead winter nights (among much grimmer tales)—a job which got paid pennies for, with decades-old resources and, if he was lucky, his name might be pages deep in the local paper. The second job was as a teacher in the worst school in the city next door—and he taught the “behavioral needs” kids. He was stabbed multiple times—the final time was in the stomach, shortly after he had come back from his leave after battling prostate cancer. He understood the kids were sick, or needed help. In addition to being a great teacher (I didn’t appreciate it at the time, but my dad often help walk us through homework to ensure we knew it—requested or not), my dad would take his students to different places— the beach for a wildlife lesson, or the local laser tag place just for fun they often couldn’t afford)—on his own dime. He tried to give them an education about the world and life, and not just books they had given up trying to read. Jeeze, sorry, I need to be able to do a cut under this cut. I could go on for days.

After that attack, my dad has had much random issues, landing him in the hospital and my family in crisis mode one time after another. We find (but never confirm) that the neurological attack might be from an infection in his knee—a botched or failing knee replacement (his third—standing on a choppy boat or at a chalkboard all day is murder on your knees). The infection has spread terribly. We nearly lose him. He continues to show cognitive decline. He improves. He gets pneumonia, we nearly lose him again. He comes back to us for a while. A random night a few weeks later, the mesh in his stomach from his prostate cancer a decade ago has failed and is suddenly twisted around his intestine (they guess related to the coughing/pneumonia). We nearly lose him again. He survives. He needs a knee replacement surgery now, but they don’t know if he can handle it or the risk of infection. He survives. Theyve noticed something wrong with his heart. He has heart surgery, survives. Another heart surgery, survives again. All the while continuing to cognitively decline. He’s a brilliant man—it’s heartbreaking to see, but I know he’s still in there all the while.

I know I missed some things above. As all of this is going on, I’m flying back and forth between states, trying to manage two departments that were previously handled by two incredibly competent, incredibly busy people that is now just me. The work is important, there’s pressures of family legacy involved, it’s nonprofit and clinical and complex and often dealing with very serious physical, mental health, ethical or even legal matters.

And, of course, trying to balance the normal things of life—making time for friends and family, trying to maintain (and sustain) my home, dating and now maintaining a beloved partnership… These things are also important. And then my parents were here for just the summer, so I’m trying to spend each moment I can stand to spare with them, in that horrid phase where it’s in your face of how little time may be left. And of course, there are the other things—other loved ones lost, trying to do what you can and pay attention to the important things in the world, trying to enjoy sitting holding my cat’s paw while marathoning YouTube and a phone game after a long day at work.

Again, I hope to be back to things someday. In my free time I write snippets, dream scenarios. I miss the writing—and the people—and it’s hard to find a pinhole to carve out for any time for myself. I’m trying, I’m trying, and I love you all.

Hope to talk more soon.