#<- everybody ignore this i didnt say that

[billygaysanguine]

[ID: An excerpt from Skulduggery Pleasant: The Dying of The Light. The excerpt reads: "She was on her third cup of coffee when the doors opened and the two zombies walked in, grinning like conquering heroes. One of Scapegrace's teeth fell out, and he kicked it under a chair." /End ID]

okay i need to be put down this should not be attractive to me .my brain problems get worse every day

[canyoureallycallthisablog]

Pathetic man of the day but it's meta knight daily

[feline-evil]

Dethvanity is really funny to me conceptually as an episode because you can see how little they had to make the characters insecure about for the bit. They swing for obvious lowblow choices with Pickle' baldness and Nathan's weight and even those require some suspension of disbelief because ok. Sure. Nathan '(said extremely proudly) never skipped a meal in my life!' Explosion is insecure about being a big man now. Nathan *guy who everyone thinks is smoking hot 99% of the time* Explosion is a tiny bit larger than usual and is insecure about it now. Lol. Lmao even.

But anyway then we hit Skwisgaar and Toki and there's like NOTHING to swing for, you can see them going uhhh ok Skwis doesn't sleep he probably drinks a lot of coffee, and Toki? Shit, what does Toki have to be insecure about with his looks. He's perfect, he's adorable, he's ripped. Um. FUCK IT, HE'S DOING NOTHING BUT EATING LEMONS. WE GOT NOTHING, WE GOT NOTHING, JUST GIVE THE BOY CITRUS FRUITS.

WOE 🍋 BE UPON YE

I'm sure i could make some smarter points about the attempts at applying vanity in this ep and how outside of this and a few other moments i do actually like that the show rarely takes pot shots at things like Nathan's weight, but you see Nathan has shirtless scenes in this one and so my intelligence is impeded when all the blood rushes out of my head and into my-

[anotherpapercut]

any other quiet bitches constantly having to shout to be listened to (not heard, listened to) only to have everyone be like "GOD there's no need to YELL just say it!" and it's like I said it 5 times actually you just literally were not listening

[midnightwriter21]

demon slayer hcs: the hashira men as boyfriends

characters: tengen, sanemi, giyuu, rengoku, muichiro, obanai

AN: i don’t write for gyomei srry

TENGEN

- this isn’t just a little fling

-mans doesn’t wanna be ur bf

-he wants to be your HUSBAND

- and he’s gonna make that happen ASAP

- and when y’all get married you’re not just getting a husband

- ur getting 3 wives too

- it’s a package deal

- overprotective!!

- the way he made his wives promise to prioritize their lives over the mission

- my heart was bursting

- carries u around

- when tengen is around ur feet hardly ever touch the floor

- doesn’t matter how big or tall u are

- he’s bigger and taller

-he's big all over if ykyk

-nicknames include: sweetheart, princess, baby

- and don’t think he’s saying those to be cute

- he’s absolutely mocking you

-which brings me to…

- this man teases the HELL out of you

- but with love

- he loves you just as much as he loves his wives

- in his mind ur alrdy married

- and he is NOT letting you go

- or letting any harm come to you as long as he can help it

- 4 lifer fr

- id marry him

SANEMI

-i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again

-he’d tear it UP

-and i’d let him

- loves you so much

- doesn’t show it in public

- but in private?

- clingy as fUck

- he’s like ur shadow fr

- will follow u around all day

- hands on ur waist

- arm around ur shoulder

- holding ur hand

- he will not let go of u when ur alone

- in public he’s a lot less touchy

- but he will still stand near you

- jealous af

- every slayer knows by now to stay tf away from you or face the wrath of the wind pillar

- you belong to him

- makes sure they know it

- makes sure you know it

-hickey MASTER

-no i will not elaborate

- everybody knows sanemi is a little rough around the edges

- so there are days when it’s hard for him to open up to you

- but he does try

- he’s got a reputation to keep up!

-gotta act tough

-no weaknesses!!

- except for u

-he’s so soft for u he can’t help it

- nicknames: dumbass, idiot, & feather (my personal favorite)

-like i said he is almost always physically connected to u in some way when ur alone

-ignore him? he's throwing u over his shoulder

-he's strong he can manhandle u all over the place

-sheeeeeshhhhh manhandle me however u want sir

-claims ur super light no matter ur size

-hence the nickname "feather"

-i love him

GIYUU

-ik damn well this man had EVERONE in a chokehold from the first second he showed up

-speaking of chokeholds... ;)

-put me in one pls sir

-anyways

-awkward as fuck

-but he tries for u

-terrible with physical affection

-but we all know he's SOOO touch starved

-you'll have to initiate any type of physical touch

-and make sure he's not uncomfortable

-but really there's nothing he wants more than to touch you

-takes a very long time to say "i love you"

-but can u blame him??

-every good thing the poor man has ever had has been ripped away from him :(

-because of this he's veryyyy protective

-cause he'll be damned if the last person he has that accepts him and loves him for all he is

-is hurt or killed

-100% will die for u without a second thought

-not really a nickname type of guy

-remember he's awkward as hell

-most you'll get is a "-chan" attached to ur name

-and even that is only when y'all are alone

-but still

-even if he doesn't always show it

-you are always on his mind

-he's on a mission and walking through a market?

-he's buying you a hairpin or som

-walking through a forest and sees some flowers?

-"i wonder if she'll like these"

-AND HE'S PICKING U A BOUQUET

-ugh soft for bf giyuu

RENGOKU

-sunshine boy!!!

- epitome of golden retriever boyfriend

-all smiles all the time

-follows u around like lost puppy

-shows off for u

-yk when ur around kids and they're like "watch this" and then they jump and spin a circle lmao

-thats him

-"did you see what i just did?!"

-if u didnt...

-he's doing it again

-wants to impress you so bad

-also you will never have to lift a finger in his presence

-service bf!!

-you need the dishes washed and the floor swept?

-he's on it

-you need help styling ur hair?

-welcome to rengoku's hair salon

-will attempt to dress you in the morning

-and by dress you, i mean he's tugging ur shirt over ur head

-zipping up ur pants

-and tying ur shoes

-brags about you to anyone and everyone

-the other hashira can't have a single conversation with him without him bringing you up somehow

-compliments compliments compliments!!!

-he loves you and isn't afraid to show it

-nicknames from him: my love, my beautiful girl, sweetheart

-constantly confessing his love

-also lowkey speaks poetry for u

-some shit like

-"my light in the darkness, the one who gives me strength, you set my heart ablaze just by allowing me the privilege of seeing your smile"

-ugh he's the sweetest baby

MUICHIRO

-my airheaded angel baby

-i love him sm stop

-baby boy has a terrible memory

-that we alrdy knew

-but!

-he tries so hard for you

-keeps a little journal with notes and information about you

-so if he forgets he can remind himself over and over

-when he's on missions away from you he reads it so he can think about you to pass the time

-can not and will not remember anniversaries

-unless they're written in that journal

-will pick u flowers

-hope ur not allergic cause he's not gonna remember that

-but it's the thought that counts

-the fact that he's thinking about you at all counts

-you wanna go on a date?

-your dates consist of watching the clouds and taking naps together

-maybe a picnic if ur lucky

-no nicknames from him

-he calls you by your name

-its all he can remember

-he's the cutest

OBANAI

-like sanemi, he's a lot less affectionate in public

-however, he's not afraid to express his thoughts about you

-at least not to the other hashira

-might not be glued to your side

-but he's got eyes on u at all times

-and someone is talking about you?

-the second he hears ur name leave somebodies mouth

-he's tuned in

-and they better not say anything negative either

-mans turns murderous

-they will wake up to a snake in their bed

-will prob threaten them within an inch of their life

-don't have to worry abt other people while he's around

-cause he's got everything

-and i mean EVERYTHING taken care of

-protective but not pushy

-i feel like obanai trusts you and your ability to handle yourself

-but thats not gonna stop him from watching over you

-you're not drinking enough water?

-here comes obanai with a cup and u better drink it all

-haven't had lunch yet?

-he's sharing his with you. and will force feed u if need be.

-on a mission with him?

-he's not gonna push u behind him or anything

-but nothing is gonna get the chance to bring any harm to you either

-he's got ur back

-he's pretty vanilla with the nicknames

-nothing too crazy

-especially in public

-mostly uses ur first name

-might add a "-chan" in there every once in a while

-when ur alone he'll call you "sweetie"

-acts like a hard ass

-but he's soft for u

[gale-dekarios]

can you imagine how wild the whole of gale and tav's romance is from gale's perspective?

you keep secrets. shameful, terrible secrets. youre dying. every step is just a little bit harder than the last. youre a disgrace. if people didnt look at you with disdain, they were looking at you with pity. and youve got nobody to blame but yourself.

every moment, youre expecting the other shoe to drop, for tav to finally say enough -- you wouldn't hold it against them, youre more trouble than youre worth -- but then...?

it doesnt matter what it is. magical item consumption with no reason given. an awkward exit from an imagined kiss shared in the cradle of your ex's palm. revealing you could kill yourself, them, and everybody in a city-wide radius. defending you against one of your most powerful colleagues because he came baring mystra's will. dissauding you at every turn, to stay alive, to ignore a goddess's orders, because they think youre worth the space you take up. loving you ardently, hastily, easily, as though you have anything to offer them back. staying with you as you oscillate between self-destruction and ascension. never once stepping away from your side, even as the stabilised orb burns in your chest, begging to be used, and the crown, almost within reach, taunts you with your wildest dreams.

and that's just it, isnt it? you have the chance to give tav everything they could ever want at last, after so long of being a burden, and they tell you no. they tell you no. i want you.

you, the burden? you, the disgrace?

yes, you.

gale falling in love with tav wasn't like how the great novels describe. there wasnt any one moment that led to a grand realisation. there were no great leaps of faith toward each other.

falling in love with tav was like a warm candlelight and an even warmer hand in an endless void of black.

falling in love with tav was a gentle tug, a smile, and a 'this way.'

how could he not follow?

[pbnbucks]

Could you please write Paige x fem x nika smut where they both get jealous over someone flirting with there girl and then it’s like smut please

word count : 1328

warnings : smutt, jealousy, angst, threesome, rushed at the end

summary : team outing and nika grabs paige to the side after seeing you and getting jealous and they plan on how to fuck u n then bam

nika was leaning against the bar as she was studying your every move as you where on the other side of the room as your body was side by side nikas biggest enemy, alleyne, a star player on the mens basketball team for the huskies, his big arm over your shoulder as you guys are giggling and making jokes all night long hes staring down your body

it dosent make it any better that your half naked with a small black skims top on and a leather mini skirt your girlfriend specifically said she didn’t like you wearing their in the first place, she looked for paige who was to busy talking to ice and Aubrey in the other corner so she texted for her to come here, she ignored is so nika triple texted her being inpatient and paige eventually made her way over.

“what do you need nika?” she rolls her eyes at the blonde “i dont know what you have been doing all night to not even notice alleyne trying to fuck our girl in plain sight.” paige looks around for a second trying to figure out what she was talking about but then she finds you, over there with the man whos leaning all over you.

“nika why dont we take her home” as the blonde says she looks over to the brunette with a side eye and smirk nika immediately understands what she means, nika makes her way over to you and grabs your by the arm pulling you away from alleyne before he or you can say anything.

“we dont want to hear anything from you until we get home understand?” she leads you out the club as paige notifys everybody that you guys are leaving and she rushes you into the back seat of the bentley as she sits in the passenger seat waiting for paige to start driving.

before you can even close the door fully nikas pulling your heels and clothes off and paige is making her way to suck your right nipple and her left hand going to grasp the other as she leads you to the bed.

it was obvious paige was the soft and sweet one where nika was the opposite, when she was angry it would last all day where she would punish you to no end.

paige lays you down on the bed peppering kisses down your stomach making her way to your lower stomach “you looked so gorgeous in your tight outfit, its a shame you didnt put it to good use, made mommy really sad with that one baby.”

you didnt care you just wanted her to make you feel good before nika would put you through the endless overstimulation “im sorry baby please, please make me feel s’good” you can feel her smirk on your lower stomach as her kisses get harsher against your soft skin, as she ends up deciding to give into your pleading she kisses your inner thighs making her way up to your sensitive cunt as she presses sweet soft kisses before licking a long stripe between your folds earning a sweet soft moan from your in applause,

she holds your legs open as she pushes her face closer to your dripping core if that was even possible, she goes fast enough to push you close enough to release but before you could your met with a loud popping noise of paige pulling away and the door opening to nika undressed with a red angry face as she pushes paiges head away from your cunt making her way to the edge of the bed next to you

“trying to get sympathy from paigey huh? i dont think brats deserve any of the attention your even getting right now” you pout as you hear the words leave her mouth not even knowing what you did to make the girl angry with you but it wasn’t anything you have seen before, she would never come to you angry like this she would always calm herself down before making her way to you but not this time. she brought her hand down to you before rubbing your clit in painfully slow circles teasing your entrance,

“paige would you be a dear and go get to strap out of the dresser please?” paige smiles as she makes her way over as nika directs her attention back to you before placing a hard slap on your cunt before grabbing the strap from paige as she puts it on. paige takes nikas spot massaging your breast as she kisses your neck and you know there will be hickeys already formed tomorrow.

nika places herself in between your legs telling you to hold your legs up as she places the strap at your entrance pushing in before a warning not letting you adjust causing you to arch your back of the bed only for it to be pushed back down by paige as she whispers in your ear “you know how to take it don’t act new to this”

you whine as you feel nika all the way your stomach as you look down seeing your stomach bulges from the strap receiving the first smile you’ve got from the brunette all night.

her thumb rubs your clit as she keeps her painful pace with the strap as you feel a knot forming in your stomach getting so close to releasing, and she can tell cause your body movements and moans get sloppier “you wanna cum baby? you think your deserve it after flirting with alleyne all night, you think he could ever make you feel this good?” so thats what it was, she was jealous.

“he could never make me feel as good as you mommy m’so big, just please make me cum ill be so good for you” and that was a promise because before you knew it she pushed you over the edge as there was cum dripping out of your pussy and off the strap,

before you could get any rest nika takes of the strap and your flipped onto your stomach as paiges bare pussy is laying under your face and nikas cunt is right under yours grinding against you. you lick soft kitten licks down paiges folds earning a sweet moan from her but quickly getting distracted from the harsh smacks on your ass as nika grinds against you pleasuring herself.

“so cute when your flustered princess” the blonde speaks in between moans, you let out a cry as nikas friction between your pussys only make you grow closer and closer to your release.

“thats it baby keep eating her pussy, just like that sweet girl” nika coo’s as paiges grip on your hair pulls into a makeshift ponytail “yes s’good”

paige whines as her voice cracks “s’close” she begs again as nika urges you to go faster, which you follow but the blonde doesn’t last 5 more seconds as she cums all over your mouth and jaw and her cum is still on your face as your press more kisses as you whine to the girl on your bottom half

“nika please im so close” but the girl just replies in a grunt “i know pretty girl, hold it a little longer” you dont think you can wait any longer but you knew if you didn’t it would be way worse for you.

“you ready mama? cum with me” you didn’t wait for her to finish her sentence as you cum on the girl under you as you drop your body onto her resting your face on paiges fucked out pussy in the position in between to 2 girls. before long paiges pulls you on top of her with your head now resting in the crook of her neck as nika lays next to the 2 of you holding her arm against your guys waist. “you gonna ignore us at the bar again?” “no ma’ams”

[dollcherray]

꒰͡ ͜ ı ͜ ͡꒱ DOLLHOUSE ۶♡ৎ

CAINE AND JAX WITH A CREEPY DOLL READER

A/N: This is so silly, definitely not self indulgement.

Type: Romantic/platonic, fluff, headcanons

About reader: Reader talks very slowly, have creepy hobbies and is very mysterious.

Warnings: Decapitation mentions, gore mentions, reader literally wants to sacrifice Jax, Jax is being haunted by you, NOT PROOFREAD, i just did this because yes.

Song: Dollhouse

CAINE ✮⋆˙

୨୧ I dont really think Caine would be really scared or creeped out by you at the start, because he's an AI so, his reaction would be a totally different than the others, i can see him complimenting you actually.

୨୧ When you first got into the circus, you were just so eerily... calm? it impressed him a bit since everybody freaked out whenever they got to the circus, thats the first thing that kinda got him curious, but he just brushed it off when he found out its just in ur nature.

୨୧ When you talk slowly and smoothly like those creepy characters, he would just get a bit impatient, Caine is a very eletric and excited robot, so i dont really think he would have much patience with you when you start talking.

୨୧ One thing that can annoy him a bit is the fact you were just so mysterious, you werent really present on the adventures and when you were you just would blend in the background and didnt really do much, it was like you were a digital ghost or something.

୨୧ He would question the others of why they were so creeped by you, like i said, your weird nature wouldnt really have an effect on him so its very likely that he wont get why the others are so scared of you.

୨୧ About how he reacts to your creepy hobbies; he just doesnt really finds it age appropriate, like, why do you have so many gory drawings?! why do you keep trying to decapitate Jax?? to use his head as a souvenir?! reader!! that is not age appropriate!

୨୧ He would try to drive you away from those creepy hobbies, only upsetting you and making you "calmly" threat him saying you would make him eat his own eyes, but it was an empty threat since you cant do much to the RINGMASTER of the circus, and it didnt really work but oh well.

୨୧ He finds your character unique because it can 'almost blend in the dark easily' and he says that because one day he went out in the night to just wander around since he's an AI and doesn't really need sleep and... thats when he saw you, putting a message with a cute bow wrapped knife in Jax's door... you looked really nice in the dark btw.

୨୧ Yeah, overall, he just thinks you are another silly goof.

۶♡ৎ “...[NAME] you cant say that.”

JAX ۶♡ৎ

୨୧ Fuck.

୨୧ I think Jax would be really fucked up, he made a HUGE mistake when he tried testing your patience at first, calling you "edgelord" and etc, he got a chance at first when you just decided to ignore him, but, he tried his luck again by trying to nag you with his pranks.

୨୧ He laughed at you threatening to give him 'a DIY plastic surgery' on his face, thinking you were just trying to be a "edgy kid"... until your brutal payback..

୨୧ Now you are haunting him, congrats, you have instigated fear into the 'funny' purple bunny that now everytime he sees you in a adventure, he gets more worried in making sure you aren't trying to stab his back with a axe than causing chaos and violence.

୨୧ This man was so flabbergasted when you tried to 'payback' his prank with setting up a axe trap in his room door to try and decapitate him, thats when Jax knew he fucked up.

୨୧ The others praise you because whenever your in the same room as Jax, he shuts up for the first time and as long as you're present in the same room as him, he wont bug anyone and that makes everybody so much happier.

୨୧ He has to check his door for traps EVERY MORNING to not get greeted with a knife to his forehead or worse: with you instead.

୨୧ You probably haunt his dreams, Jax probably had a nightmare that had you included, oh wow you have officially turned into Jax's living nightmare, like why is this happening to him?! is this karma for his pranks?! god help him.

୨୧ He hates you and your voice and everything about you! Thanks to you, now everybody has an argument to mock him, thanks to YOU everybody knows he's not that tough, even Gangle laughed at him!

۶♡ৎ “I'm so incredibly disappointed right now.”

[paper-mario-wiki]

Hi, sorry if this is a weird question, but do you ever feel lonely in tf2? I've been playing for a few months now and while it's mostly been fun I always get this dreadful feeling when the match ends and everybody leaves. I also haven't made any friends which makes me sad. Have you made friends and if yes, how?

that feeling of loneliness has existed in the heart of every TF2 player since the Meat Your Match update.

it is difficult to meet people in casual unless you're an active participant in chat, or somebody else goes out of their way to interact with you specifically.

i find it really enjoyable to type in chat (even with the chance that 40% of the time i do it's spammed by bigoted jerks), and at the beginning of most of my games i start by sending "hi everyone! im googoo. lets all have fun together ok?" and more often than i get called annoying or cringe, im met with people saying "hi googoo!" and "gl hf!" (good luck have fun), which feels nice.

be ready to up and leave games if things become TOO heinous (what constitutes "too heinous" is up to your own discretion), but also dont be afraid to stick it out and talk with some of the other weirdos who play this 17 year old game.

sometimes, talking with people who are dickheads can be fruitful too.

one time, i was playing in casual and i met a stereotypical edgelord toxic tf2 player. they were typing shitty things in chat and had a bigoted name on one of their weapons. i called them out, and said "that's a weird way to act, most people will find it odd". as a result, they were teasing me and calling me names during the game, but i still played along side them. after a while, when they noticed that i was still being a helpful teammate to them and letting them take health packs/extinguishing them/protecting them, they were like "why are you helping me after i was a dick to you" in voice, but i ignored them. from then on they werent verbally abusive anymore.

the game continued, and they were speaking more in voice chat, specifically to me mostly, but i never responded. and after a while they said disappointedly "did googoo mute me?" and i said "no i didnt mute you." and he said "why do you still help me? even after ive been an asshole" and i said something along the lines of "i want to be a team player, and you are a part of my team. i dont want to be vindictive, because i dont think that's right. it wouldnt be helpful. i just wish you were a kinder person" and they said "oh. ok" in a really sad way.

after the game they left this comment on my steam profile.

and a few weeks later, they deleted it without another word.

the point of this story is that even as unapproachable as people seem, and as unapproachable as they will make themselves, every person playing has some degree of rationality and understanding, and they want to be a part of the normal social world too. some of them just dont really know how to.

[dansformations]

"Man of the future"

Alan was 20 years old gay guy that turned his passion for video games into a career as a streamer. Every night, he sat in front of his computer, illuminated by the lights of his setup, and connected to play with his thousands of followers enchanted by the fact of having a popular gay and handsome streamer. That night, however, something different happened.

While chatting with his audience and viewing the comments in the chat, he noticed a message that stood out among the others.

@ yourbroski: "Try this game, 'Man of the Future'," said a donation message with a link.

@ yourbroski: "Its my game, i create It"

- You Did!? No way - Alan replied

He clicked the link, opening the Game just for being nice, the title didnt sounded like something that the girly Alan would enjoy.

Within seconds after the click, Alan found himself downloading a game he had never heard of. The title, "Man of the Future," glowed on the screen.

The game was a complicated obstacle course and shooter that quickly engrossed Alan into the digital word.

- Hey, this is indeed fun

But the fun ended quickly. When he died in the game for the first time - Which was pretty fast -, a screen appeared with the saying, "C'mon Bro, you can do better" along with an strange music, almost hipnotazing music.

- Whoa, did you guys see that? - Alan said, leaning back in his chair. - This game is savage! 'C'mon Bro, you can do better'? Challenge accepted! - he answered.

However, the second attempt didn’t go any better. When Alan died again, the message changed to, "Don’t be a noob, Bro."

Alan face reddened with frustration. "Okay, Bro," he muttered under his breath.

- No way am I letting this game call me a noob. Let's do this! - He turned to the chat, determination blazing in his eyes. -You guys with me? This game’s going down, Bros!

Took a sip of His... beer? He didnt remenber being drinking beer, he didnt even remenber enjoying beer but he was so centred on beating that game that kinda ignored It.

- OOOOOUUURRRP - he belched - dang, sorry bros - he said a bit ashamed... Just a bit. He was too centred to being ashamed.

Meanwhile the coments were going crazy.

"Whats happening With all those 'Bro'? Thats off character"

"@ yourbroski: Nothing to be ashamed! Better out than inside my Bro!"

"Are we sure this Is Alan? Lol"

He keep playing moving his fingers as fast as he could, he was doing Better and when he almost reached the wining flag - a flag decorated only With White and black lines - he got killed by another player.

- Son of a bitch! - he yelled - that motherfucker killed me at the very last BRARRRRP - belched - moment!

"Dont be a pussy" The screen said this time, as knowing he was whining.

- No way this game just called me a "pussy"! - he said ofended - Im not, and in gonna show them all - he said while opening his legs in the chair in a more relaxed position, tooking a moment to scracht his balls in front everybody before starting the new round.

In that position everybody could apreciate some strong arms and legs that people didnt knew Alan had abd Alan didnt remenber to have worked on.

"Sexy" a guy comented.

He was gay, but for some reason reading that from a guy, maked him feel angry.

- Dont be a weirdo, dude - he said

He was gay, right..?

Then started playing again, not releasing every time his character died, a part of His persona did too.

Yelling, coursing, chugging beer and burping, acting with a cocky attitude more and more, every round, less nice, less gay, less him, until...

- BROS, I-OARRRRRP -He couldnt contain a burp - I DID IT!

His character was holding that black and White flag.

"Now youre a real alpha" the tv screen said With that strange music still.

"Now youre the Man of the future"

And with that, the remains of Alan were erased, he didnt remenber being a girly gay guy anymore, he always had been an alpha, a straight, gassy, jock that loved playing videogames and humillating the noobs and "queerdos" on the games.

Alan started doing a "celebration dance" that basically was doing hip moviments to show his bulge. Like he were fucking someone.

- This Is for you, @broski - Alan put His microphone close to his ass and ripped a big, loud, smelly fart on It - i beated you - he said proud. Between laughs he added - Nah, GG bro, youre talented, definetly gonna share It with the bros.

"Whats happening with Him?!' someone comented

"@ yourbroski: That flag send the fag away"

Alan didnt even read those coments, he was busy trying to fan away the fart with his hands.

That Night the strange transformartion of the gay gamer Alan was trending everywhere, but before His friend Group had read something, they receive link to a Game from Alan.

"Alan: Best game of the month broskis"

The group of friends made up of gay guys and nice straight guys thought Alan's writing was odd, but without knowing the situation they gave more atention to the link, opening it, ready to play a life-changing game, "The man of the future."

(This is just fetish writing)

[brooooswriting]

Your fault pt. 2

Maria hill x reader, Natasha Romanoff x reader (past)

*knock knock knock* Maria groaned as she opened the door of her quarters, she had just come back from a very exhausting mission and was ready to go to bed. But the constant knocking was too annoying to be ignored forever.

“Y/n? What are you doing here?” She asked as soon as she saw you.

“I have to talk to you. You know how after the whole thing with Nat fury didnt let me back in until I went to therapy? So I went a couple of times while you were on the mission and then this woman has the audacity to tell me that I am suicidal and careless, that I wanted to end up dead on my last mission and that the person who made me feel like that was Nat” you hurried, making it hard for the brunette to understand anything.

“Wait- what did she say about you?” She asked, very unsure if she heard you right.

“Maria! That’s not important right now” you scolded her before continuing “she made me realize that Natasha is pure toxin for me. She also made me realize that I love you. It all made sense when she hinted at the fact that you’re the place I look for comfort. Because I do, you’re the first person I wanna see and the only person I always wanna talk to. I’m in love with you Maria” you told her, a smile on your face. The first real smile she had seen in months.

“I- why don’t you come in? I don’t think I can follow you right now” the door opened further for you to come in. You hurriedly followed her to the kitchen where she poured you a glass of water while you admired her.

“So what was that about you being suicidal?” She asked again as she pushed the glass towards you. Her eyes focusing on you.

“This is what you took in? Maria, I said I am in love with you and I mean it. I’ve been to 12 therapy sessions in the last 6 weeks and in every session all I wanted to talk about was you, how you saved me, how save I felt with you and then I realized it. I let Natasha treat me like shit for so long that I didn’t feel like you’d want me as soon as I realized that I do want you.”

“Y/n, are you sure about this? I don’t want to be a rebound and I don’t want to ruin our friendship” she said, her hand lightly grazing over yours that was placed on the counter. Her smile was a mixture of happiness sadness and uncertainty.

“Maria, I’ve never been surer about anything. You are the most amazing and beautiful person I have met and I wish I would have realized sooner. If you don’t feel the same, just say so and I’ll disappear and leave you alone with this topic. Our friendship can stay the same, I promise” everybody could have heard the sadness in your voice.

“I’ve been in love with you since our first mission but two weeks later you came in with Natasha holding hands. I didn’t wanna do anything if you were happy so I shut up. But now I’m so happy that I at least stayed close” she told you, leaning in carefully. Her eyes started to close as she noticed that you were also coming closer.

You were. At least until your hand suddenly stopped her, pushing her back lightly. “I - I thought” she immediately stumbled out making you smile lightly.

“You thought right but there’s something that I haven’t told you. I haven’t broken up with Natasha yet, I know what that sounds like but I was kinda scared, you know how toxic she can be”

“What?”

“I was scared and you weren’t here so I wouldn’t have had anywhere to go. Not anywhere I felt safe at least. And I don’t want to kiss you before I’m free” your hand carefully caressed her cheek as you explained, your heart feeling lighter as soon as she leaned into your touch.

“It’s okay. I’ll be there for you every second okay?” You nodded and fell into her embrace.

That night you decided to call it quits with the redhead, now that Maria was by your side.

“Natasha, we have to talk” you said as you walked into the kitchen, placing yourself on the other side of the table while Maria waited a couple of seconds before waking to the fridge.

“What about?” She was clearly uninterested in whatever you had to say and you had to hold back an eye roll.

“I think we should break up. No wait, I am breaking up with you. We just don’t fit together anymore and I don’t want to be treated like this anymore” you told her, your voice confident as you felt safe with the shield agent behind you.

“Yeah whatever” she said and walked out of the kitchen leaving you stunned.

“It’s over” you whispered to the woman as you sat on the counter next to where she was cutting some food.

“Finally. Now i can do this” she smiled as she pressed a light kiss to your lips. “And tomorrow I wanna take you out on a real date” she whispered against them before pulling away to plop some fruit into her mouth.

That night you fell asleep in one of Maria’s shield hoodies back in your own room after years and you haven’t felt as free as you did in forever.

Three weeks later

Natasha stood alone at Tony’s party watching Maria push you against a wall to make out with you. Her heart broke as she saw you smile against the brunettes lips. She’d never forgive herself for loosing you but it was too late now.

[cat-autism-wizard]

five times danny's english class learned that he was phantom (and one time he had to reveal it)

1- wes weston

wes has always been observant and after ghosts appeared out of nowhere he became obsessed with them. he always has been someone who loved the supernatural things and seeing actual ghosts? it only boost his hyperfixation on the supernatural.

when ghost boy appeared he was happy like everyone else but somehow ghost boy felt familiar. but it cant be right? i mean how can he 'know' a ghost hes never seen before? but he couldnt get over that feeling so he observed the ghost more attentively than any of the ghosts.

all he learned about ghost boy was aligning with one of his classmate but that cant be. danny was a human. he was pretty sure of that, he remembered when he helped the health teacher about the pulses he was sure danny had a pulse even a pretty healthy one.

all his mind was telling him he couldnt say ghost boy was danny without any evidence. he had two theories both without evidence (for now) and it was that danny died and his ghost was haunting his corpse or secondly someone could be a human and a ghost at the same time. his gut was telling he was in the right path to discover the truth. so he started to pay close attention to the fenton boy. he noticed danny always disappeared when there was a ghost attack. suspicious. then he realized ghost boy also was acting with that manson girl and the foley boy. ghost boy and danny were NEVER in the same room. and lastly when ghost revealed his name was danny phantom wes felt like he was losing his mind. he was right about fenton. but how?

one day on a break time he made sure he bumped into fenton 'accidentally' hoping he could somehow check his pulse. and he did (even though he did seem like a creep as he stood there looking at him in the eye directly while holding his wrist). danny had a pulse but it was much slower than average and somehow his skin was cold. wes realized he also looked so much paler than before.

he was right. danny was human at the beginning of the year but now he wasnt so sure.

his skin was cold and pale and his pulse was slower. that didnt seem normal to wes. so he continued with his second theory. someone could be both a human and a ghost at the same time like half ghost half human or something. he didnt know how to prove this. so he did what he thought was the best option.

s̶t̶a̶l̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ watching him closely.

the next time there was a ghost attack he tried to find fenton before phantom appeared but he failed as the boy was already out of the class even before the ghost attack happened. and it happened again.

huh.

wes decided just one lesson (turned into the whole day) to watch fenton rather than listening to what the teacher was saying. then he saw it. some kind of visible breath like you breath in the cold weather. then fenton excused himself to the bathroom and another ghost attack happened.

he got him now.

next time right after fenton excused himself to the bathroom wes also excused himself. he was right there. some glowing rings appeared around the black haired boy and he turned into the beloved cryptid of amity park.

wes was right he was half ghost half human.

after getting his confirmation wes was satisfied but now he was confused more than ever. everyone loved phantom but fenton here was getting bullied everyday by the same person who basically worshipped phantom. would it be easier for him if everybody knew who he was? i mean sure he had ghost hunters for parents but wes was sure fentons wouldnt hurt their own kid even if that kid was a ghost.

so wes made it his mission to help him come out easily. but when he approached the trio (he was 100% sure both manson and foley knew the truth so no harm done) they acted like wes was crazy.

"really wes? me? and phantom?" danny laughed at wes. it annoyed wes.

"i know the truth fenton. but i dont understand why youre not telling anyone. everyone loves phantom." wes said trying to ignoring the gaslighting.

"if i was phantom which i am not, i would have my own reason not to tell." danny tried to reason with wes with a slight annoyance in his voice.

"anyway theres no point in talking about this seeing phantom is a ghost and danny is a human." sam tried to shut down the conversation.

"no hes both. i saw him transform." as soon as wes told them he saw the trio's eyes widened. tucker was the one who broke the silence.

"saw him transform? like some kind of magical girl? cmon wes at least be more realistic." he tried to play it off sam joined him but danny still looked petrified.

"are you sure youre not watching too much anime or something?" sam and tucker laughed it off.

wes felt the rage in his veins. he was right and they knew it. so he was going to proved it. to everyone that danny was in fact phantom and to danny that everything would be easier for him if people knew.

wes started to gather evidence. he would talk about it to his friends but no one ever heard him out. it made him even more furious. he started to lose friends but he didnt care. he was going to prove them all.

he only stopped trying to expose phantom after seeing GIW trying to kill a normal kid because they thought he was phantom without any conformation or any hesitation. wes didnt realize how dangerous it could be for danny until then.

he felt bad. so now he decided to help him somehow. people thought he was crazy right? then he was gonna convince people who could hurt fenton he was wrong by acting even crazier. was it gonna cost him all his years of high school? probably but if people heard him out before he couldve got the boy killed and he couldnt just stop because if he stopped abruptly it would be more suspicious and frankly he didnt want to risk it.

what did he get himself into.

1 2 3 4 5 +1

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hello, this isnt really related to sex but to queerness so I figured it would still be under your expertise. Im 27 and intersex but AFAB and my journey to figuring out my gender has been all over the map my hole life. Already I had more T then other "little girls" so Ive always been androgenous but when I hit my teen years I started getting bullied for my more masculine traits like my voice, body hair and so on. My idea of gender was always just so very nonexistent and mattered so very little to me that I was always just kinda doing what other people did or wanted of me. Long story short I had a hyper fem phase to fit in and then I found out what being trans was and then had a hyper masc phase and decided to take T. I ended up stopping T at 20 (witch was honestly HARDER THEN GETTING ON IT FOR ME god the never-ending questions of "are you de-transitioning???" and my doctor outright refusing to let me make the choice for a while cause I didnt have "good enough reasons" to stop like ??? Girl what???) but I was really happy with what being on T did for me! Now tho I realize im non-binary and im fully embracing it! The issue im having now is navigating the world. I have a beard that I like, I have long curly hair, I love skirts and dresses (something I also wasnt allowed to wear as a transguy without again getting asked if I was "turning back into a girl"), I have boobs (kinda unfortunately, still working on that one but top surgery is hard to get when you have a bigger body :( ) but the looks I get from people in public are very hard to ignore. I have autism so its a bit hard for me to even notice or know why people are giving me dirty looks all the time but recently a friend of my said it might be my appearance and that I have a beard and boobs and am in a dress. I want to just ignore people and live my best life but I do wonder if I should just "pick one" ya know? My hole identity down to my anatomy fucks the binary but being a target is scary. Do you or your fallowers maybe have any advice?

hi anon,

listen. I say this sincerely from the bottom of my heart:

you should do whatever you want, forever. present literally however makes you comfortable. you don't exist to please other people or make them happy with your appearance, and your current look sounds honestly incredibly slay. your presentation is for you and you alone, truly fuck everybody else.

[not-goldy]

Speaking as an ex-pjms akgae (and jk anti, yeah), jikookers and jm stans are too hard on jk. I've been absent from stan twt for almost year and came back for jm's album and just stumbled upon ays. Now I see just how damn insane and stupid some of jikookers and pjms are. Some of yall fr think Jimin is a damsel in distress waiting for you to save him and a weakling. Saw so many pjms saying jk is an abusive asshole abusing poor soft gentle weak jm and wanted to throw up. Jm is far from being a damsel in distress. This mf shuts down people who annoy him and piss him off like no business, he cuts them off, he tells them to fuck off in the most diplomatic and nice ways possible but nevertheless shuts them down. I really need to know where some of yall were all this time. 'Omg jk is so abusive and rude, omg he is so cold, omg he is so aggressive' and it's a clip of jk saying jimin is a shit driver too, spanking his ass and being upset that jm didnt call him. Mf??? Yes, jm is gentle, caring and has a huge amazing heart but some of you turn a blind eye on the fact that he tends to be short-tempered and is actually really hard and bossy. People are multi-faceted, multi-dimensional, people can be a combination of nice, glimmer and angelic and some tucked up shit. 'Jk hits jm!!' so does jm??? He plays with jk as rough, if not more rough sometimes. 'Jk is rude and cold' and jm shuts him down??? He metaphorically whoops his ass and calls him out on his behavior?? Jk is not an angel but so is Jm despite how nice and kind he is he can be petty af sometimes. Jk is not easy to handle (as said by himself) but so is jm. Pjms always shit on jk for drinking and doing his drunk lives calling him and alcoholic but then turn around and listen to FACE. They blame jk for singing about sex but then call Like Crazy soty (rightfully tho). Mind you, jm literally sings about escaping the reality by drinking and having sex with his partner (while said partner is concerned as it was in the original lyrics), not to mention Like crazy's choreography with backup dancers doing sex positions. They blame jk for feeding jikookers by talking about jm too much but then ignore that jm does it too. Like, bro pack it up, almost everything you shit on jk and blame him for applies to jm too, and vice versa.

Hop off jm's dick, you are not his mother, stop acting like jimin is a woman, thats a mf man, with a dick and everything, a damn strong headed amazing man!!! He is not a child, not a poor damsel in abusive relationship. A weakling would not survive in an industry like this and jimin thrives there. He is thriving in a mf military. Pajamas, you are not his mother!!! Jimin is not a victim

And for God's sake, hop of jks dick too. The guy can't catch a damn break. No, smoking doesn't mean he is a bad person. My dad smokes, my aunt smokes and I smoke, too, and believe me they are amazing people, the kindest I've ever met. We just need to clear our head and take the anxiety away. Drinking doesn't mean he is a bad person, everybody drinks and jm is the most vocal about it. Singing about sex doesn't mean he is a bad person. Doing explicit chores doesn't mean he is a bad person, jms choreography is more explicit anyway. Promoting your work and wanting recognition doesn't mean he is an asshole, thats his work. Being confident and wanting to be the best doesn't mean he is arrogant, jm is literally the same he's just not that vocal abt it. I swear, whatever jk does and whichever lengths he goes for jm, it's never enough for people. Idk, maybe yall should detach a little bit and look at his actions with unbiased eyes. The man does the most and gets shitted on by everyone, tkkrs blaming him, calling him a liar, a puppet and everything else, jkkrs calling him an asshole for not handling jm like a damsel in distress and for having his own feelings and being upset because of jm, pjms hating him for breathing and living, jjks being passive aggressive and shitting on him for not fulfilling their fantasies and for his bond with jm. Idk, an insane idea, I know, but maybe, just maybe, they both are humans? With their own flows??? They are not your ideas? Not your fic characters? These are real people, with everything good and ugly. Don't project on them your ideals and beliefs just because YOU ☹️🫵 is unsatisfied with your own life and want to treat them like object to satisfy you

Jimin stands on business

Some one sent me an ask saying I used to be obsessed with how feminine Jimin is and asked what changed and I just swiped up on that Ask cos how in the hell in 2024 are we still assuming feminine means Damsel in distress.

Do I love that he has a feminine side to him??

Yes

Do I wish sometimes he has a vagina

Don't judge I'm a lesbian yes.

But there's a type of feminine I like and a type I hate.

This?

Hate her. Will run her over with a bus

This

Eiishh I'll go on my knees for her

This

If you don't get her off my screen.

This

She can paint me like one of her dragons

Speaking of dragons

Now yall know they have me in a chokehold 🥺

When I think of Jimin as feminine I think of all the strong independent badass fems and nonbinary out there.

Would I like to braid his hair and paint our toe nails together sure. I mean I can't throw him over my shoulder and spin him around like Jungkook does.

Me and Jungkook we have a type 🤪

[renjunniex]

Thank You, For Being You

Isaac Lahey x Fem! Reader Series

Raving

Omega Part 1 | Omega Part 2 | Shape Shifted | Ice Pick | Abomination | Venomous | Frenemy | Restraint | Party Guessed | Fury

Prompt: Joining forces with Derek was difficult to say the least. Not only because he wanted to do things differently but it also meant you had to spend more time with Isaac.

a/n: heyyyy everybody! another chapter is here! super grateful for all the love you guys have been giving me seriously, thank you guys so much! ALSO YALL I DIDNT REALIZE I WAS SPELLING MR. HARRIS AS MR. HARRISON UNTIL JUST NOW. WHY DIDNT YALL TELL ME!?!? i went back and changed them so we should be good now lol

*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧

"Oh, what the hell is this?"

You and Stiles were sitting at the station with food for Sheriff, who was very unhappy with what he had been given. "Veggie burger," sang Stiles as he rearranged the contents around the table. He handed you yours before setting his salad in front of him.

"Stiles, I asked for a hamburger," complained Sheriff his mouth still full.

"Well, veggie is healthier. We're being healthy," Stiles argued. You nodded along as you rustled your fork through your own salad to mix the contents around equally. Sheriff sighed but went back to unpacking his food, when he uncovered the basket of carrots and celery his face took on the look of disappointment once more, "Oh, hell, why are you trying to ruin my life?"

You gave the older man a pointed look, "That's very dramatic, don't you think? We just do this because we care." You weren't lying, Melissa may have been the one that took you in permanently but the Sheriff had always been like a father to you just as Melissa had been like a mother.

"I'm trying to extend your life, okay? Could you just eat it, please? And tell us what you found."

Sheriff disagreed, "No! I'm not sharing confidential police work with teenagers." That didn't stop you two from looking behind the man and at the wall. You pointed to it as Stiles called attention to the board, "Is that it on the board behind you?" He turned to look at it, "Don't look at that." Stiles continued to not listen, his eyes glued onto the wall.

"Avert your eyes. Hey!"

"I see arrows pointing at pictures," Stiles said move about in his chair.

He finally gave up when he realized that you two were not going to listen. "Okay, okay, stop! Fine. I found something." Both you and Stiles brought your attentions to him, instantly satisfied with his words.

"Mechanic and the couple who were murdered. They all had something in common."

"All three," you and Stiles asked.

"Yeah. You know what I always say. One's an incident. Two's coincidence-."

"Three's a pattern," Stiles finished for his father.

"The mechanic, the husband, and the wife- all the same age. All twenty-four."

Your eyebrows scrunched together, "Then what about Mr. Lahey?" Stiles looked over at you and agreed, "Isaac's dad isn't anywhere near twenty-four."

Sheriff had stuck his finger out, stopping your questions, "Which made me think either 'A,' Lahey's murder wasn't connected or 'B,' the ages were a coincidence, until I found this," he rolled his chair backwards a little and turned. Grabbing the file and handing it you, you opened it so both of you could expect the contents.

"Which would be 'C.' Did you know that Isaac Lahey has an older brother named Camden?" Even though the question was in general, meant for both of you, Sheriff did make the most eye contact with you. You shook your head, going back to reading the words.

"'Died in combat,'" whispered Stiles.

"But if he were alive today, take one guess as to how old he'd be."

"Twenty-four," you said.

Eating was apparently going to have to wait, since both men stood up and began to go over the board. "Man, I really just wanted to eat," you whined begrudgingly getting out of your chair. Your complainants were completely ignored as they started to plot.

"Now what if same age means same class- I mean did you think of that?" Sheriff brushed off his son's question with a slight wave, "Yeah, yeah." There was a brief moment of dead air until Sheriff confessed he hadn't thought of it.

"Well I would've. I mean- look I just got Lahey's file two hours ago." Even though the statement made sense to you, Stiles didn't accept that.

"TWO HOURS? Dad, people could be dying!"

"Yeah, I'm aware of that, thank you."

You placed a hand on Stiles' shoulders to make your presence known, "He can only keep looking at this stuff for so long, Stiles. Sometimes you need to step back to refresh your eyes."

Both guys settled down at your words, before turning towards the photos, "Same class," murmured Stiles. You all shared a look, "Do you have any old yearbooks, Sheriff," you asked.

Like on cue, they scrambled to get any old yearbooks and school files they could get their hands on. To be honest, your glad they didn't need your help on that because truth be told, you really were hungry. You only got a moment to stuff your face with food because they came rushing back soon after slamming all contents on the desk.

Stiles had found the file he was looking for, "Okay this is it, class of 2006. They all went to Beacon Hills."

"Including, Isaac's brother," stated Sheriff.

"Meaning they could've, theoretically, known each other," you said finishing your carrot before standing up once more.

"Two of them were married- so maybe they all just hung out."

Sheriff shook his head lightly, "Well, they could have had the same classes together. They could've-." You saw the man's face fall into a look of recognition. Stiles had caught it too, "What?"

"Same teacher." Mr. Harris' picture was on the page, clear as day.

"All four. Now I don't know how Mr. Lahey fits in, but this- kids, this is definitely a pattern. Alright, get me the 2006 yearbook. These names, we need faces."

"Which ones," you asked as Sheriff went to make a phone call. "Everyone in that chemistry class," he answered, "If the killer's not done killing..."

"One of them is next," Stiles said.

"Yeah."

~

Later that night, you had promised to meet Scott at the clinic to relay everything you just found out. He wanted you there though because Derek was planning to show up and he figured a three versus one when it came to opinions would work better in his favor.

"So, you weren't able to get tickets," you asked currently perched on the half wall in the lobby. The boy confirmed your question, "Nope, but we need to find some because Jackson seemed very hell bent on getting them."

You nodded slowly, "Meaning whoever is controlling him, desperately wants to be there." Scott agreed and then his head perked up, looking at the clinic door. You figured it was because he heard Derek so you felt no need to stand up from your position.

Scott walked over, unlocking the door letting Derek in, "What's he doing here," you heard him asked.

You looked up and felt your breath get caught in your throat, you weren't expecting Isaac to come. Guess it was only fair since Derek wasn't informed of your presence either. "I need him," the Alpha said bluntly.

"I don't trust him," Scott shot back. Mean while all you could do was stare and the Beta made eye contact with you for just a second.

"Yeah, well, he doesn't trust you either," you would be lying if you were to say that his voice didn't make your heart flutter. Once he finished his sentence he walked passed both the other werewolves standing close to where you were sitting on the wall.

"You know what and Derek really doesn't care."

You raised your hands as you blurted out, "Oh my god, one more person talks in third person and (Y/N) might just punch you all in your throats." You heard Isaac snort out a quiet laugh as he turned his head to look at you. His eyes gleamed like stars when they met yours.

Derek had interrupted your little moment, "Now where's the vet? Is he gonna help us or not?" You scoffed at the Alpha, "What great patience you have there, grumpy." You hopped off the wall and crossed the little group to stand next to Scott, just in time for Deaton to come out of the back room.

"That depends, your friend Jackson. Are we planning to kill him or save him?"

"Save him," you and Scott synced.

"Kill him," Derek had said at the same time.

You and Scott both whipped around looking at the dark haired werewolf in disbelief, "Save him," Scott argued once more before looking at you. Your eyes both met and stared at each other for a moment, like a form of silent communication. You nodded at him once more before both of you turned back to Deaton and synced again, "Save him."

Deaton had a small smile on his face and nodded, gesturing for you all to follow him. Derek had silently walked passed definitely grumpy of being out numbered. Scott followed a second later, leaving you and Isaac alone for just a moment.

You turned to him quickly whispering, "Derek made you come?" He nodded in response, "And now I'm glad he did because I get to see my favorite girl." He stood next to you, throwing his arm around your shoulder, keeping you from walking towards the back room door. You chuckled lightly, rolling your eyes, "You're never gonna stop with the nicknames, are you?"

You moved passed him, his arm falling back to his side and you spoke once more, your voice still lowered, "Fine but we still need to talk everything through. After this is all over." He nodded with a smile on his face following behind you and into the room with the others. He took his place in between the other two werewolves and you stood next to Deaton and helped him lay everything out. The sound of Derek's voice made you look up.

"Watch what you touch," he said with Isaac's arm in his hand. Deaton had picked up a jar reading it then showing you the label and pointing to the ingredient in the book laid out in front of you. He had become some what like a teacher to you, every chance you got you were here, learning, reading, practicing and he would guide you. Seems like he thought now was still a good time to show you some things.

Isaac had leaned down resting his arms on the table and now at eye level with you. He smirked when he saw your attention on him before asking his question to Deaton, "So, what are you, some kind of witch?"

"No, I'm a veterinarian."

Deaton's reply made you shake your head in amusement. You saw Isaac process the answer with his lips taking an "oh" shape silently, before he looked at you again. It felt like every chance he got, his eyes were stuck on you.

"Unfortunately, I don't see anything here that's going to be an effective defense against a paralytic toxin. Except for when (Y/N) is able to learn healing abilities, but even then, that could take time we don't have and it would really only be effective after the fact." Your head shot up, your body still leaned over from reading the pages. You glanced at everyone in the room before meeting Deaton's eyes.

"Wait, I can do that?" Deaton chuckled at your astonishment and nodded, "Well that's news to me," you said looking at your best friend.

"We're open to suggestions," Derek continued to conversation. "What about an effective offense," asked Isaac.

"Unlikely," you scoffed as Derek began speaking again, "We already tried, I nearly took its head off. And Argent emptied an entire clip into it. The thing just gets back up."

You mumbled lightly, "I'm really glad I haven't had to fight this thing." The boys looked at you, a certain Alpha showing a very obvious annoyance, "What? I'm sorry, okay. Stiles isn't here to voice my thoughts like he always seems to, I can't help it."

Deaton looked at all of you, "Has it shown any weaknesses?"

Derek answered his question, "Well one- it can't swim."

"Does that go for Jackson as well?"

"No," Scott interjected as you shook your head, your posture now straight and your arms crossed. You continued for the Omega, "He's the captain of the swim team." Deaton nodded along at both inputs, "Essentially, you're trying to catch two people."

He turned grabbing something from a drawer, he show you an amulet, "A puppet... and a puppeteer." He set it on the table and continued, "One killed the husband but the other had to take care of the wife, do we know why?"

Scott piped up gaining everyone's attention, "I don't think Jackson could do it. His mother died pregnant too, and she was maybe murder. I think he couldn't let the same happen to someone else."

"How do you know it's not part of the rules?" Isaac's eyes were slightly glazed over as he stared at the table. When his eyes blinked and his attention was no longer stuck, he continued, "The Kanima kills murderers. If Jackson kills the wife, then the baby dies too."

He looked at Scott and when he did, you felt your body jolt. It was the weirdest sensation and you didn't understand why it happened. It wasn't a normal reaction so your only guess could've been it was something supernatural. You checked to see if anyone noticed and when you confirmed no one did, you made a mental note to ask Deaton about it later.

"Does that mean your father was a murderer," Scott questioned.

"Wouldn't surprise me if he was." His eyes were back in your direction only his focus was on the wall behind you; you were okay with that though, you didn't want him to see the frown you had.

"Hold on. The book says they're bonded, right?" Deaton's hand was held out as he hypothesized, "What if the fear of water isn't coming from Jackson, but from the person controlling him." You nodded along adding to his words, "Like they're not only bonded as in partners but mentally." Deaton pointed to you grabbing a small jar.

"What if something that affects the Kanima also affects its master." He circled the sand like substance around the amulet on the table, "Meaning what," Isaac asked.

"Meaning we can catch them," Scott started.

"Both of them," you finished.

~

The next morning consisted of both you and Scott telling Stiles everything on the way to school. "There's got to be some other way to get tickets, right?" Scott hopped out of Roscoe as he finished his question, helping you out as well. Stiles met you both on the sidewalk, "It's a secret show, there's only one way, and it's a secret." You adjusted your bag onto your shoulders, "Real helpful, Stiles," you joked.

"Hey!"

All three of you turned to find Matt, "You guys know why no one's getting suspended after what happened the other day at school?"

"Just forget about it, nobody got hurt," Stiles tried to convince him. Matt gave him a confused look, "I-I had a concussion." You turned your head and laid it into Scott's shoulder, hiding your small laugh threatening to come out.

"Okay well no one got seriously hurt."

"I was in the E.R. for six hours."

"Okay, do you want to know the truth, Matt? Your little bump on the head is about this high on our list of problems right now." Stiles had proven his point even more by leaning over and placing his hand just inches from the concrete. Your cover of your amusement was taken from you when Scott moved forward to ask if Matt was alright.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, now. So, you didn't get any tickets last night either."

"Are they selling?"

"Uh, no, but I managed to find two online. You should keep trying. Sounds like everyone's going to be there." He gave Scott a friendly fist to the shoulder before walking away.

"I don't like him," You and Stiles both said, once he was far enough.

"Hey, are you sure about this," he asked Scott. "Last time, whoever's controlling Jackson had to kill somebody because he didn't finish the job," Scott said.

You chimed in, "So, what do you think he's going to do this time?"

Stiles sighed, "Be there to make sure it happens," He shook his head before both boys turned, taking their places beside you as you walked in the school.

~

"Can anybody tell me where the hell Jackson is and why he missed morning practice?"

Coach was right, practice was already over and there was no sign of Jackson. Everyone shook their heads and Stiles leaned over so you and Scott could hear him better, "I thought I told you to keep an eye on him."

"STILINSKI!" You three straighten and looked at Coach, "Jackson!" Stiles shrugged, "Sorry, Coach I haven't seen him since the last time I saw him."

"Oh, and when was that?"

"The last time I saw him was definitely the time I saw him last."

"Again, Danny, tell Jackson no missing practice this close to the championships, okay," Coach was leaned over in Danny's eyesight. The boy nodded, "Sure, Coach." Coach started to back up into his office, "That goes for all of you. I should be coaching college." He started to close his door but just before he did, he looked at you, "(Y/N), I'm going to need to see you later for game plans."

You nodded, "You got it." He finally closed his door, which allowed the boys to go back to talking to Danny. "Sorry, but I only got two myself," Danny said.

"What- do you even have a date, yet?" Your head snapped to Stiles, your arm shooting out to smack him in the stomach, "Really?"

Danny's tone changed, "I'm working on it."

"Okay, okay, hear me out. You give us the tickets, and you devote your life to abstinence and just-." Before Stiles could finished both him and Scott were pulled away and you felt someone right behind you, "How do you two losers even survive?" It was Isaac, you looked behind you to see him looking between the two boys, his hands still gripping their shirts.

You scoffed and pointed to yourself, "That would be thanks to me, actually." Isaac looked at you and smirked, acknowledging your answer. Scott huffed, "What are we supposed to do? No one's even selling." He gestured to the whole locker room, where all the boys stood around, probably waiting for you to leave so they could begin changing.

Isaac's eyes were focused somewhere in the distance, you felts hands lightly place themselves on your waist guiding you closer to Scott. The tall werewolf patted Stiles on the chest, moving passed him, "Wait here, boys."

All of you gave each other looks of confusion, Scott asking, "What is he-?" But he never got to finish, thanks to the crash caused by Isaac. You guys flinched at the loudness, "Ow," you commented.

"Yup, that's excessive," Stiles added on, the sounds only getting louder as Isaac continued his actions. "That'll bruise."

"Ow," Scott repeated your first comment.

"Wow, okay." Isaac walked back over, tickets in hand, he handed you each one before turning around his hand in his pocket, "Enjoy the show."

You guys were in shock until you broke it with your words, "That was... so hot." Both boys looked at you, wide-eyed, when you saw them you just shrugged, "What? He's on our side now, I can say that."

Stiles pointed at you, "I thought you were mad at him?" Scott nodded in agreement.

You rocked your head from side to side, "I was and still kind of am, but that doesn't mean I can't find that," you circled your hand motioning to the boy walking away, "Extremely attractive." Scott and Stiles both scoffed, the spastic both pushing you slightly, "Get out of here, you dummy, let us change."

You laughed and walked out the room, only making it a few steps out the door before you heard your name once more. You turned to see the boy you were just talking about leaning against the wall, "I heard you." You smiled as cluelessly as you could and walked closer until you were inches from his figure, "Heard what, exactly?"

His arm came around your waist again, this time turning you so your back was pressed up against the wall and his body was trapping you. "You find me attractive, huh?" His eyes were on you, glancing at your lips before reaching your eyes once more, "Always did," you answered. You leaned a little closer missing his lips and bringing yours close to his ear and whispered, "See, isn't it so much more fun when you're on our side?"

You grabbed the wrist of his hand that was laying itself on your waist, removing it gently and sliding out of his grip, "I'll see you tonight, Isaac."

~

"Ketamine?"

"It's the same stuff we use on the dogs, just a higher dosage."

Deaton set down the syringe and bottle, "If you can get close enough to Jackson, it should slow him enough to buy you some time." He turned picking up a jar with that same sand from the other night, "This is some of what you will use to create the barrier. This part is for you, Stiles. Only you." He placed it down and Stiles picked it up his eyebrow raised, "Uh, that sounds like a lot of pressure. Can we maybe find a less pressure-filled task for me?"

"It's from the mountain ash tree, which is believed by many cultures to protect against the supernatural." He gestured to the walls, "This office is lined with ashwood, making it difficult for someone like Scott or (Y/N) to cause me any trouble."

We turned back to Stiles to see him still confused, "Okay, so then what? I just spread this around the whole building and then neither Jackson or whoever's controlling him can't cross it?"

"They'll be trapped," Deaton confirmed.

"Doesn't sound too hard," Scott reassured.

"Not all there is," Deaton said. You sighed and slumped your posture, "There's always something."

"Think of it like gunpowder. It's just powder until a spark ignites it." He pointed to Stiles, "You have to be that spark, Stiles."

"If you mean light myself on fire, I don't think I'm up for that."

Scott looked at Stiles worried and then you to which you rolled your eyes. Deaton gave a silent chuckle, "Let me try a different analogy. I used to golf. I learned that the best golfers never swing before first imagining where they want the ball to go. They see it in their mind and their mind takes over. It can be pretty extraordinary what the force of your own will can accomplish."

Stiles mumbled, "Force of will." You grabbed his hand, "You got this, no sweat."

"If this is going to work Stiles, you have to believe it."

~

The night had finally arrived, your nerves were definitely getting to you. It also didn't help that the car ride over seemed really awkward. Stiles was oddly quiet and you could tell that Scott noticed as well.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

You and Scott shrugged lightly and you spoke, "You didn't say anything the whole way here." Stiles grabbed the bag out of the Jeep and looked at you both, "No, I'm fine. Let's grab the other bag."

Scott looked at Stiles, "We can't, remember Deaton said you have to do this alone."

"Okay, this plan is really starting to suck."

You smiled, "There's our Stiles."

"No, not here, not now."

You turned to see Scott running off, panicked you looked at Stiles who was just as bewildered as you. "What," Stiles said.

"Scott!" You called as Stiles continued on, "What am I supposed to- plan officially sucks!" He looked at you and you just shrugged. "I'm going to go look for Isaac and Erica, you got this Stiles." He waved his hands at you in frustration, "Yeah, whatever, go make out with your boyfriend." You gasped, "He's not my boyfriend!"

"Yet."

You pointed behind him, "Go play with your sand." He huffed a laugh and you turned to make your way into the building. The music could already be heard from inside but still it was quite a shock on how loud it actually was. The lights were blinding, you squinted to try and find the two Betas but to no avail they were no where to be seen in the sea of people.

Deciding that staying on the outskirts was your best course of action, you began to make your way to the side where a line of pillars were. You leaned on one of them as you scanned the area again, looking for any signs of any werewolves.

"You planning on dancing tonight?"

You jumped at the sound of Isaac's voice right in your ear. You turned and you were sure you looked like a deer in headlights considering the boy only started laughing when he saw your face. You punched his shoulder and he faked a wince, "Don't do that! Where's Erica?"

He nudged his head in the direction of the crowd behind you, "In there, thought I would come look for you while she looked for Jackson."

"Me?"

"You and Scott."

You scoffed, "You said me." He smiled making the motion to press his forehead against yours, "Okay, it was mainly for you." You laughed and moved your head away, leaning back on the pillar, "My, you're quite the flirt these days." He shrugged leaning against the pillar with you, one hand in his pocket. He looked down and crossed your pinky with his.

"You're not as mad at me as you have been, it's a little easier now."

You chuckled and nodded, "True, true."

You saw Scott come around the corner, you let go of Isaac and that caused him to look where you were looking. You dashed towards the Omega and hugged him quickly, "Where did you go?"

"Allison's here."

You looked at him, "That means her dad is here." He nodded and started making his way to Isaac, who was still leaning against the pillar watching you guys. Scott handed him the syringe, "Why me," Isaac asked. They were standing side by side while you stood just slightly off from them.

"Because I got to make sure that Argent doesn't completely ruin the plan. Okay, look, you gotta do it intravenously, which means in the vein. When you find him, you pull back on this plunger right here. The neck is probably gonna be the easiest, so you find a vein, you jam it in there, and pull back on this trigger right here. Be careful."

Scott had given him a whole lecture on the plan, Isaac chuckled, "Oh, I doubt it'll even slightly hurt him." Scott shook his head, "No, I mean you. I don't want you to get hurt." Isaac's head shot to the side in surprise. There was this moment of silence between them and that's when you felt it... another jolt. This time it was stronger.

What was going on? Why has it happened twice now?

Your thoughts were broken when hands grabbed your shoulders. You blinked and refocused on Scott, "And you be careful too, okay? Stay out of the way." You scoffed, "Okay, Mom."

"(Y/N), I'm serious."

You laughed and pushed him away, "Yes, I know, I'll be careful. Now go growl at middle aged men." He smiled at you before running off. You and Isaac were left alone once again. He seemed to still be in shock at the conversation he just had.

"I told you so."

"What?"

"I told you, we care about you guys." He turned to see your smirk wearing face. He snickered, "You always have to be right, don't you." You gave a bright smile and a quick nod, "Yep," you grabbed his hand, "Seriously, be careful."

He used the grip you already had on his hand to bring you closer, his forehead back to resting on yours, "I will but it would be nice to have some incentive." You let your eyes lock with his, "Okay, you get out of this alive and I'll forgive you completely." His face practically lit up and he tried to hide it but you saw the bright expression just before he went back to his usual resting smirk.

"Now that's what I like to hear," his head shifted upwards and you felt his lips on your forehead. He pressed them there ever so gently before letting them leave your skin. "I'll see you soon, beautiful," he made the move of leaving first but was stopped by you grabbing the front of his shirt.

"You do anything too sexual with Erica and I'll kill you, Lahey, understand?"

He smirked, "Yes, ma'am."

~

You went to find Stiles after you had set up the area you guys were planning to keep Jackson. You guys had caught each other at the front entrance and you were now making your way towards the room, listening to Stiles excitement on how he had done his task.

You two had made it to the door and when you opened it you had startled the two Beta wolves. "Uh, no, no, no, just us. It's just us. Don't freak," Stiles rambled. You let out a breath of relief when you saw Isaac was alright and it looked like Isaac had done the same when he saw you.

"Is he okay," your best friend asked.

Isaac walked over to Jackson, raising his claw up, "Well... let's find out." When he went to swipe at Jackson his hand was caught as the lizard boy started to crush his hand. Isaac let out a groan of pain and he pulled back as hard as he could. He backed up to guys and you instantly grabbed his arm, "Are you okay?" Even when he was still grunting in pain, he nodded.

"Okay, no one does anything like that again, okay," Stiles pointed to everyone and he received unanimous nods. Isaac groaned one more time, "I thought the ketamine was supposed to put him out."

"Yeah, well, apparently this is all we're gonna get, so let's just hope that whoever's controlling him just decided to show up tonight."

Almost as if on cue, Jackson's eyes opened. You erratically began tapping Stiles and Isaac, "Guys, guys. Something's happening." Everyone watched Jackson as he started to speak, "I'm here." His voiced echoed and you could hear not just Jackson but someone else. It had to be the person controlling him.

"I'm right here with you."

You and Stiles looked at each other and slowly stepped towards the boy in the chair. "(Y/N), come back here." You ignored Isaac's words and crouched next to Stiles.

"Jackson, is that you," you asked quietly.

"Us. We're all here."

Stiles was taken aback by the answer, glancing over his shoulder at the werewolves behind you. "Are you the one killing people," Stiles questioned.

"We're the ones killing murderers."

His voice was full of venom and it was nearly as paralyzing as his actual toxin. It made you shiver out of fear. "So all the people you've killed so far-."

"Deserved it." He cut off Stiles violently.

"We got a little rule book that says you only go after murderers."

"Anything can break if enough pressure is applied."

You looked at Stiles again and took over the questioning, "Alright, so the people you're killing are all murderers then?"

"All. Each. Every one."

"Well, who'd they murder?"

"Me." His reply to your question truly stunned you, "They murdered me." Jackson's eyes rolled into his slitted ones and his head turned straight, "They murdered me." You and Stiles got up and started to back your way to the other two. Isaac had a small grip on your hip, keeping you close. You started to see Jackson's hands move, breaking free from its previous stillness.

"Alright," Stiles panicked, "Ketamine, the man needs more ketamine."

Isaac picked up the bottle, "We don't have anymore." Your best friend whipped around, "You used the whole bottle?" You saw Erica tap Stiles and you all looked to see Jackson standing, he hissed and his head began to shake violently.

"Okay, out, everybody out," you pushed Erica and Stiles forward. They needed no help from you though, all four of you rushed out of the room, bumping into each other until you closed the door. Everyone pressed their back on it and Stiles gave out instruction, "Okay, (Y/N), make a barrier hurry." It was too late, Jackson had busted through the wall and had made a break for it.

You guys all ran for the front door as everyone began leaving, you and Stiles made it outside and he crossed the line meeting Derek who was jogging over.

"Hey so we kind of lost Jackson inside, but it's-," Stiles' attention was on you and the two Betas who had also just walked out. You three were right on the line, they looked at you for reassurance and you raised your hand coming in contact with an invisible wall, it glowed a blueish color as you put more pressure on it.

"Oh, my god! It's working! Oh this is- yes! I did something!"

You heard a roar, it was so guttural. You felt the heat in your eyes, this time it was intense, if you weren't used to it by now it might have actually bugged you.

Scott

"Scott?" Derek had voiced your thought, he looked at you, he saw your eyes glow and he heard it too. The roar of a dying Scott.

"What," Stiles turned to Derek.

"Break it."

"What? No way!"

"Scott's dying!"

"What? How do you know that?"

"Oh, my god, Stiles! I just know! Break it!" Stiles broke the line and Derek took off. You could feel your feet moving before you could even think as you started to try and run too. You were stopped, however, by Isaac grabbing you, both arms wrapped around you.

"NO! LET GO! ISAAC! LET GO! SCOTT HE- HE'S HURT! YOU HAVE TO LET ME GO!" It was almost manic how much you thrashed to try and get out of the boy's hold. He held on tighter, "(Y/N), no, okay you can't, you can't fight yet. Derek will save him, okay, Derek will save him."

Your eyes were pouring tears at this point, "No, no, Scott he needs help, he needs me," you whimpered as you fell to the ground, Isaac coming with you but his arms never leaving their position around you.

His lips pressed against your hair and he just continued to comfort you, "I know, baby, I know. But he's gonna be okay. Derek's gonna save him. You have to stay here, okay, baby?"

You nodded still crying now holding onto Isaac like your life depended on it, muttering the same thing over and over again, "Scott he's- he's dying. He's dying- he's-."

*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧*⁠.⁠✧

"It's okay, baby, it's gonna be okay."

a/n: I finally gave you guys more isaac and y/n, aren't you guys happy with me? lol anyways hope you guys enjoy! let me know what you think!

taglist: @somiaw @vvicaddiction @mushroomelephant @breadbrobin @traumverloren-anderswelt @fandom-princess-forevermore @vanessa-boo

[amplexadversary]

Okay I've gleefully derailed posts before but this is a big derail and kind of dumb so I'm linking it.

When I watch the linked video, I end up thinking of Allenby gossiping about the shuffles, and now I need to headcanon who would likely say what bullshit.

-"I'm going to shit your pants." -> I could see this coming from a few people. Sai is a little fucker, he would make this threat and mean it. Chibodee would say it facetiously. Domon (while I headcanon him to be pretty good with languages) probably isn't above a gaffe where he means to say "I'm going to make you shit your pants," but misspeaks (probably when the guys are getting really rowdy and distracting and everybody's talking over each other.)

-"A duck the size of a tiger would have to be quite stout, I don't know that I could vanquish such a foe." -> George, though he'd choose different words than the video.

-"I'm all wet because Allenby dropped her phone in the river and I jumped in to get it. I can't find it though, can somebody call it while my head is underwater?" -> Domon would do this reflexively. Chibodee probably would as well.

-"I think it's time I come clean, I don't actually understand how wind works." -> Sai would be the funniest person to admit this, with his wind-based super move.

-"toodaloo, kangaroos" -> Domon, because someone told him it's a thing people say in English and he's kind of gullible.

-"Why the hell do we all have identical jackets? I can never find mine. Oh, but it's probably the one with my name on it though." -> while Domon or Chibodee would probably be the most likely to have this kind of brain fart, I think it's funnier if a very tired George says this (... ignore they fact that they don't have matching anything).

-On Monday Sai dared me to eat a spider, so I did. But then later that day I was running up the hill and shit my pants a little. I think those two things were related. -> I'd believe this from three of them in different contexts. Chibodee impulsively agreed to the challenge and admits this because hes mad about it. Argo ate the spider to humor Sai and is trying to discourage the rest of the group from making a similar mistake. Domon ate the spider because Kyoji didnt not have nearly enough chances to teach Domon to be weary of this exact kind of siblingeque horseshit, and we know from how he responds to Master Asia that Domon will just do things that you tell him to. He admits it, begrudgingly, because everybody wants to know why he bailed on them for several hours.

-"Do you guys think my shirt is cute? Too bad, I'm taking it off." "You're cute that way too." -> I could see George and Chibodee, in any order. Chibodee and Domon would only be believable if they're together, and with a massive time skip for them to get comfortable over.

-"My idol is that one dude who ate an entire airplane, love that guy, don't know his name." -> Argo, sarcastically, when Chibodee makes some remark about his physique and asks "what do you eat, sheet metal?"

-"Guys I think I watched the wrong Zootopia." -> Argo probably doesn't only pirate physical goods in the space age. He got a joke translation.

-"Domon, what type of feed does Fuunsaiki like, we want to make him a cake for his birthday." -> I feel like this is George and Argo's planning, and I could see either of them being the one to ask.

-[musing about Ice Age squirrel heteronormativity] -> I think Chibodee's the only one who could reasonably have seen it. He also dyes his hair two colors of the bisexual flag and wears the third so I can see him being annoyed by it.

-"I failed to locate a bear suit, does anybody have a spare bear suit?" -> Tbh this one could be any of them, except George, who is listening with his head in his hands.

-[quoting the infamous Snapcube Eggman rant] -> This is either Sai Saici, or Argo lost a bet to Sai Saici and was told to recite this. Sai is the only one of them I can buy being chronically online enough to reference this. Chibodee looks up Shadow and immediately asks Domon if it's his fursona, which backfires because the only other person in the room who knows what a furry is is Sai.

-"Why aren't you being silly? You promised you would be silly with me." -> ARGO. Said with a straight face to George. (Sai would be too low-hanging-fruit here, but I guarantee he's also looking at George expectantly. Admittedly, part of why I can see this coming from Argo is because of choices the dub made with how he speaks.)

-"Rain sent me this picture. I thought she was telling me that she was pregnant, but this is a covid test. She does have covid." -> Domon. Also worded a little differently than the original. While he did spend half his childhood in a jungle with Master Asia, he's probably seen pregnancy tests in drug stores when they have to make very occasional supply runs. Sai has probably also showed everyone the meme where people would edit a pregnancy test into various pictures.