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binniesthighs · 4 years ago

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hello stranger | reader x changbin |

a/n: this chapter is one that is very special to me and really echoes a lot of the same feelings that I’ve experienced through the years. writing this chapter felt really healing for me, as I hope maybe it can to you who might’ve felt the same. Because of this, please read the warnings below and read what you feel comfortable with! Remember that no matter who you are, or what you’ve gone through you absolutely deserve love!!

Part 5

Pairing: self insert, female reader x seo changbin, female reader x han jisung

Genre: strangers to lovers, fluff, smut, angst

Tags: (of this part) college au, rapper!changbin, rapper!jisung, establishedfwb!jisung, artist!reader, skz side characters, bestfriend!chan, bestfriend!felix, explicit language, HARD angst to FLUFFY fluff, mentions of alcohol, fingering (f receiving), squirting, dry humping, nipple play, protected sex, fluffy sex, cockwarming

CWs: implications of jealousy and possession (past), non-con pressure, fist fighting, quite a bit of blood, bruises, and other wounds, mentions of a scar, mentions of past toxic relationship, mentions of nausea, mentions of low self worth and self deprecating habits

Word count: 8.7k (grab a blanket, your plushie, some fuzzy socks...also I promise no other chapter will be this long LOL)

Chapters

-Two years ago, and some change-

Tonight was different. It could have been for a number of reasons. Maybe it was the way that he held onto your hand tighter than he usually did. You swayed your body next to his like you thought that you should have been doing. If you hadn’t you would have looked out of place. He hated when you looked out of place. The skimpy dress you had worn that night was just for him. You thought that he would like the way that the straps barely clung to your shoulders and the way that it was snug against your curves.

He was watchful. Silent. You had known him to be a generally loud and gregarious person. He had many friends. Many of his friends you really did like; but, there were others that you had liked less...the friends with wandering and judging eyes.

“Why her?” They would ask.

“You could do better.” They would whisper in his ear when they thought that you couldn’t hear.

“Isn’t she...boring?”

“Not boring when I’ve got her alone.”

The club was full of people; a suffocating amount. Bodies thrashed up against eachother in all their sweating heat. Shiny polyester and the tulle ruffles of shirts scratched against your skin in passing. Under the line of sight, no one could see where hands might reach or creep in the dark corners of that room. With the music blasting, no one could hearo f the sinful desires whispered from ear to ear.

“Don’t you want to get outta here?” He had craned down to give you his message.

“W-why don’t we just dance? I like this song.”

“But we’ve been here for so long.” His hand gripped tight on your arm. “Really. Let’s get out of here.”

“But--”

“Let’s bounce. I don’t wanna be here any more. Let’s go have fun somewhere else.”

Fear rose in your throat. His tone had changed to the one that you had been trying to keep at bay for weeks.

“Baby, I’m having fun!” You tugged back at your arm which he hadn’t released. Your brain worked quickly, and you did what you thought would’ve been distracting enough. You kissed him.

Hard and fast you shoved your tongue down his throat in ways that you only would do when it had been the two of you alone. The music was loud. No one could hear the way he forced a moan into your mouth. Your hands wove deeply into his hair that was swathed in that cologne of his that was dizzying. It was saltwater and cinnamon.

Your body pressed up flat against his chest and, as expected, he threw his arms back around you and kissed back with the same fervency that you tried to drench him in.

Your words were breathless. “Can we...stay?”

“Baby, how can you say that when you kissed me like that? God, if I could screw you right here and now...”

His friends had been watching. Or pretending not to watch. It was no lie that their eyes had been peeping from the corners.

“Let’s get some more drinks then? Hm? Maybe later we can head back to your--”

“--NO! I want you now.” His words were violent, and his hands starved in his feverish way, yet still, he sucked his devilish smile into your neck. “Baby, please.”

Just a few more drinks. That was all that it would take. Just a few more drinks and he would be a stumbling mess. He would forget his name and you and then he wouldn’t be able to take you anywhere. You loathed yourself for feeling that way, but it was the only solution you could think of.

“Let’s go out back. No one walks down that alley, you know so.”

A nervous laugh slipped off of your lips. “I-I know, but--it’s so cold outside, it’s snowing an-and it won’t be comfortable--”

“--I don’t need comfortable, I just need you.”

Lazily, his eyes met with one of his friendsand he flicked his finger to beckon him over. “You. Come with us. We’re gonna need someone to watch the door.”

His friend scoffed and shoved his glass into the hands of a stranger. “Fine. What are you gonna pay me back with?”

“I dunno, I’ll think of that later.”

Your arm wiggled, a slight attempt to free yourself of his grasp. “Babe, babe, come on. I-it’s risky, an-and--”

“--And what?!”

“I-I don’t...I don’t...”

“Babe I thought you liked it when we did risky stuff? Remember last week? The bathroom? You liked that didn’t you?”

“That-that was different.”

Above your heads the speakers boomed with a bass drop that you could feel vibrate in your chest. Strobe lights of dozens of different colors blinded your vision. Your head panged with a pain that must’ve been the alcohol, but with each passing second, you felt more and more lightheaded. Air just barely escaped from your lungs and your lungs felt like dead weight.

His voice had been muffled. Your feet started taking steps that didn’t feel like they were their own. He used his body mass to part the sea of bodies, drawing you farther and farther away from it all. The two men chuckled as you neared the back of the building where the haze from the stage seemed to accumulate.

“Stand right at this door and don’t let anyone get out from it. Don’t leave until we come back in.”

His friend rolled his eyes, then took out his showy looking pen to take a long drag. He blew it into the other man’s face. “Have fun you two.”

The cold winter air stung at your dry lungs. You realized then that you had forgotten your coat inside. Under your feet, flaky and white snow had mixed in potholes which had filled with iridescent oil. Together, the only thing that you could think of in that moment was how the two colors and mixed. In no way where they similar: one, black and slick, the other soft and pure. They made no sense.

“Ohhhh...Baby.”

His breath was hot and it steamed in the air like some kind of deadly and wispy poison. His hands were big. Much bigger than yours, and they seemed to wrap you all up in them. They were magnets to your hips which fell into them with ease. He must’ve been cold too you figured: goosebumps formed on his arms where the falling snow fell on them.

“You’re all mine. No one else’s. Don’t you ever forget that. Tell me. Who’s baby are you?”

“Y-yours.” Your voice trembled.

“That’s right.”

His freezing hands swept up both sides of your face and you prayed that he couldn’t feel the tears stream from your eyes to his fingers. All at once, you felt nauseous, you felt sick, shame, rage, embarrassment and fear. With the adrenaline pumping in your ears, you did something even you didn’t expect.

“S-stop.”

His mouth continued lapping over yours, even your words which you repeated,

“Stop!”

“Baby, we’re just getting started!” Frigid fingers crept up your shirt to your bare skin.

“I SAID STOP!”

You had bitten his lip, and the metallic taste of his blood dripped onto your lip.

“You bitch!” He stumbled, then wiped the blood to his finger.

Hot tears fell freely, and your body shook: perhaps it was the cold, or your fright, but it shook every part of you.

“What the fuck?!” He rose his hand in the air, “Who the fuck to you think--”

“--HEY!”

A voice echoed down the alley and bounced off the brick walls. He was a black outline, but it was undoubtedly him who had shouted. He was still, but all at once he started running, sprinting towards you and you cowered to the snow.

“Don’t you fucking--”

The other man ran right up to the both of you. He was shorter, but crashed into the other taller man with a fist raised. He nearly had to jump a little, but he had knocked him square in the face with a horrible fleshy sounding thud.

He finished his sentence, “-Don’t you fucking touch her!”

The shorter man rubbed at his knuckles which had bloodied quickly. Your boyfriend had slipped on the ice a few steps back, falling to the ground clumsily and wetting it from the blood dripping from his mouth and nose. He laughed incredulously.

“You pack quite a punch for a little guy don’t you? Well, you picked the wrong fight--”

He rose to his feet with fists raised, then took a swing at the other man. He was agile, and ducked with ease, then twisted around the taller’s body to punch into his ribs. Still he didn’t miss each punch, and your boyfriend landed hits to his face as well. The stranger fell to the ground this time, groaning out and splashing into the cotton snow. While he was down, the taller man kicked into his sides.

“How do you like that? Huh??? You have no FUCKING RIGHT. This is between me and my girlfriend, so, fuck. off.”

The stranger spat blood to the white snow. “A-actually, I did have a right.”

“What was that??” He kicked harder.

“You-you were going to hit her? Weren’t you? Who the hell hits their girlfriend?”

In one motion, the shorter man was back up on his feet, stumbling, but still swinging. He was weaker, but still punched into the taller man’s sides relentlessly. The two men sparred, and you felt frozen. It was as if you weren’t even breathing.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Your thoughts rang, but your voice couldn’t muster it.

“You’re the fucking--” Punch. “--Scum--” Punch. “--Of the--” Punch. “--Earth.”

Your boyfriend’s eyes had become bloodshot red. In a mix of furious arms, he had scraped his wristwatch against the other man who cried out with a horrible sounding whimper, and then a flash of red started to flow down his arm.

Your dress had soaked through with the freezing cold water and you had nearly buried your eyes into your arms. Never had you felt so small, so helpless.

“HEY! What’s going on down here?”

A flash of blue and red lights lit up the pitch black alley.

“What’s going on??”

The policeman’s voice buzzed over the loudspeaker on his car.

The shorter man was a crumple on the ground and he hissed out with pain from his teeth. His arm quivered with pain from the gash that had been pressed into it. By contrast, the peaceful snow fell lightly onto his body and got tangled into his curled, dark hair. Your boyfriend; you hadn’t even seen him turn to sprint down the opposite side of the alley.

Regardless, the stranger still managed, “Ar-are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

Your dry and tear-stained cheeks crinkled. “N-no. He didn’t.”

“T-that’s good. Listen, I-I need to go. I can’t afford for them to take me. Ask them to help you and take you home.

The clink of the policeman’s keys on his hip jingled as he neared.

“I’m sorry I have to run.” He stumbled to his feet. For a few seconds, you could see his eyes under the flickering yellow streetlight. They weren’t brown or black, but some kind of dark stormy grey.

He went running down the alley, as fast as he could manage with a limp to his leg and his dripping arm creating a trail behind him.

As he ran, he left behind him a scent, foreign in the winter air. You couldn’t name it exactly, but you had guessed at least for then, it might’ve been something like rosemary and cedarwood.

╚ ——————————————— ╝

2am, and you felt euphoric. Like a fucking cloud. Even though it was typical, there really were no other words that could describe it.

Felix and Chan bumped their hips against yours while they danced in the rhythm of the song that the DJ had played. Both of their bright smiles were utterly adorable, and the three of you doubled over in your laughter at each other’s terribly awkward dance moves. Chan made his best attempt at the robot, and Felix busted out some of his favorite internet dances. You rose your hand to the side of your face as if to say I don’t know them. Felix’s tiny hands interlaced into yours and you danced with him too while Chan mimed throwing dollar bills into the air.

“How much longer?” You yelled over the music until it scratched your throat.

“I don’t know! I didn’t get a chance to look at the line up!” Chan’s body bumped up against others in the crowd while he tried to check is phone. “It’s fine! I’m sure he should be coming on soon!”

You couldn’t remember the last time that you had been to a show that wasn’t to see Jisung. It was strange thinking about all of the things you used to worry about when you had gone to see him in the past: was your outfit sexy enough, had you remembered to put on your lip gloss...you’d even worry over stupid shit like if you had missed any spot on your legs while shaving.

None of those worries filled you now. The clothes that you had put on in your haste made little sense, and were a bit warm in the room where sweat practically dripped from the walls. You had even left your apartment in such a hurry--you had been working on a new piece from a spark of inspiration during midday.

“He said that he was going near the end I think!!” You informed your friends.

Chan did a little excited dance. You didn’t know if he was more thrilled over the fact that he was there or how you had promised to introduce him to Changbin after the show.

The lights shifted, turning from pink to blue, and the music faded too. Your beating heart slowed as the atmosphere changed and Felix clawed back onto your arm.

“Oh my God!!! I think that it’s gonna be him!!!” Chan nearly leapt into the air.

It was frightening how familiar it all felt; you felt as if you had been transported right to that first night, the night that you had met him and the night that he had entranced you up on that stage. Everything in the room darkened, and the smoke slithered onto the stage. Everyone had quieted with their focus narrowing on the empty expanse that had been set up all for him.

To the side of the stage, the announcer chuckled into the mic, “Ladies and Gents, as you know him...SPEAR B!”

Music erupted like a crack of lighting over the speakers and was so sudden that nearly everyone in the crowd jumped out of their skin. The spotlights flooded the stage in a blinding white light, and before your eyes could process it, he had thrown himself to centerstage with some kind of magic or trick of the eye. It was so confusing, all you could do was stand in shock.

Rapid fire lyrics flew off his tongue with lightspeed, and he carried himself around the stage with as much regality as a king. His hooded eyes held nothing but concentration at each of his words, and he threw his arms around with emphasis so you could hang onto every single syllable. He shone under the lights where he had adorned himself in his favorite array of silver and crystal jewelry: his trademark chain around his neck blinked like diamonds. Every curve of the muscles on his thick arms and thighs tensed and the vein on the side of his neck flared as he spoke. With a bite to his lip and an indulgent smile, he owned very single part of his own world.

He was fucking mesmerizing.

Felix and Chan were wildly flapping their bodies around and thrashing their heads along with every other body in the crowd, but you had stood still. It was unbelievable that you had been close to him. All your memories of him holding you softly in his arms, planting kisses into every tender inch of your skin seemed so far away, but so close. He couldn’t have been the same person.

Your heart swelled with a pain. It might’ve been warning, precautionary, or fearful. Or, it might’ve been warm, intoxicated, infatuated. Your own mind couldn’t comprehend it.

Over the hundreds of eyes in the crowd, somehow, he had found yours, and it was just as that first night had been. He was so massive, so crushing. His confidence was something so addictive and his gaze so thick that you felt as if it was crushing. Still, there was one thing that was different about it now.

He knew you. He wasn’t just some stranger.

He knew your ins and outs, he knew your fears, the way that you would shy away from him or how you would lean into him closer. After that one meeting, you had encompassed everything that he could imagine, as he did for you.

You had started as strangers, but now you couldn’t even imagine a time when you weren’t.

He had broken his composure for mere seconds to smile at you. It was a simple: I see you. And you see me.

It was cliché. Fucking cheesy as hell. God, it was sugary sweet and rotten; a phrase you hadn’t said in a year or more. But, with the dozens of other girls screaming it in that room, bumping with bodies and bass ringing, condensation on the walls and music louder than your own voice, you joined the cacophony. Even if he couldn’t hear you screamed the words with your whole chest:

“I FUCKING LOVE YOU SEO CHANGBIN!”

╚ ——————————————— ╝

The music had subsided, and the stage lit to normal as the stagehands switched around the arrangement for the next act. You and your two friends were out of breath and exhausted. Sweat beaded on all of your brows and you felt it dripping down your back as well. The three of you stood laughing out in your euphoria: it as a high like none other.

“Damn. Why do I really want ice cream right now?” Felix huffed out his laugher and slung Chan under his arm. “Doesn’t that sound like a really good idea?”

Chan whipped the damp strands of hair from his eyes. “That does sound like a really good idea. But...you think any places will be open?”

With surprised glances, the three of you burst out hysterically.

You wiped an exhilarated tear from your eye, “We’d have to go to the store.”

Somehow, it was the funniest thing that you could have said and Felix and Chan held their sides in their laughter.

“Do-do you think that Changbin would want to come with us?” Felix helped fix your sweater which had become a bit ajar on your frame.

“I don’t see why not.”

Chan did another adorable little dance. “Holy hell. I can ask him about his process!!!.” He scooped you up into a tight hug. “This is so exciting!!!!!”

“Just don’t...scare him away.” You patted into Chan’s hair with adoration.

“He should be back out any minute right? He said he would come looking for you?”

You nodded, feeling your heart start to race at the prospect. You hadn’t felt this giddy about the attention in a while--not at least, attention that had been given to you without a condition.

Behind your little group, you felt a tug on your wrist, then your cheeks swelled with warmth.

“Chang--”

“--Holy fuck! You actually came!!”

Jisung’s eyes lit up and an inhumanely wide smile spread across his face.

“...Jisung--”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe it, you actually came! Shit, I really thought that after we talked the other day that--”

Chan ripped Jisung’s grip from your wrist. “You better cut that out.” Once as giddy as he was before, his expression had turned deadly serious.

“What are you doing here?” Felix pushed you slightly behind him.

“Performing? This is my show too. I’m on in thirty. You’re here to see me too?”

“Like hell we are.” Chan rolled his eyes.

Jisung chose to ignore him, bringing his attention back to you.

“B-baby, thank you so much for coming, and for giving me another chance--”

“--Another chance? Y/n, what is he talking about?” Felix asked, then both of your friends eyes were on yours.

A knot formed back up in your throat with your decisions that you had let hang since you had las spoken to Jisung. You thought you had been clear enough to him, and you had told your friends you had thought that you had ended it.

Chan huffed out an authoritative sigh, “We’re leaving. Come on,” he wrapped an arm around both you and Felix. “Let’s just get out of here.”

“No! Wait! Y/n don’t leave! Let-let’s talk about this, y-you never let me see you any more, I’ve been missing you...missing you like crazy,” His grip reached out to you once more, pulling your whole arm closer to him with a pain that panged in your shoulder. “--since you’re here...let’s just talk this out okay?”

The music in the room grew louder once more, and the next act entered the stage with the announcer’s enthusiastic voice. The lights flashed out, and suddenly all of your bodies were bathed in red, pink, and blue light.

Another memory, from another night, flashed before your eyes. He held onto your arm tighter than he usually did. His incessant eyes pleaded over to yours like he had countless times before.

“Jisung, stop.”

“I-I just don’t understand! Let’s not do this here! Can’t we go somewhere private where the two of us can talk? Baby--”

Another hand grasped at your opposite arm, then it snuck around your waist.

“--What the hell do you think you’re doing to her?”

Changbin pulled you into his chest with a force that knocked the wind out of your lungs, then he immediately inspected the arm where the other had grabbed you so tightly.

“Did he hurt you? Let me see.”

Chan and Felix’s eyes widened in their shock.

Jisung pushed himself closer. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing Changbin? Don’t get involved in this, it doesn’t concern you.”

“Actually, yes, it does.”

Everything was unfolding before your eyes, and you felt faint. All the secrets, lies, the way that you had entangled yourself in it all, was crushing you like vines with thorns. Your fear bit bile in your throat, and you couldn’t decide if you felt strong enough to run.

Before you could say anything about it, Changbin pulled you out from the crowd, faster than your wobbling legs could handle. He was furious, you could tell, but he tried his best not to let it seep over to you. Changbin muttered curses under his breath, but pushed forward, past the dancing bodies, past the stage, past the maze of speakers and other sound equipment in the back.

“Let’s just get out of here okay?” His fingers dug into your waist.

Behind you, Felix and Chan shoved their way a few paces behind, ultimately getting caught in the web of people moving this way and that. Not far behind them, was Jisung thrashing with all his might to catch up.

With your heartbeat in your ears, words started spilling out from your mouth:

“Changbin, I didn’t tell you--I-I still haven’t told you, but you need to know before--”

Changbin swung the back door to the venue and it slammed behind you with a metallic clang. It was nearly blizzarding outside, but he didn’t seem to care at all. Rather, he pulled you back into his chest to hug you tightly. He was desperate in the way that he hung onto your body; like he was trying to suck the very life from you.

“Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you? I’m so sorry I couldn’t get there sooner. He’s a fucking dick, I won’t let him touch you again, I promise.”

Your nose clogged immediately, and your sobs came out choked and full of utter fear.

I’m going to loose him. I’ll lose him. He’ll hate me. He’ll let go, and never come back.

“Chang-Changbin...Jisung, he was--”

“Beautiful, why are you crying? Stop, stop, it’s okay.” He soothed you, wiping the tears from your cheeks that got muddled with snow. He too had snow clinging to his eyelashes and his hair that was also strung with sweat.

The back door swung open with another startling clank, and Jisung threw himself out of it with Felix and Chan holding him back by the arms.

“HE DOESN’T EVEN FUCKING KNOW HER!” Jisung screeched, then tore free of both of your friends.

He lunged himself at Changbin who had seconds to respond. He turned his back to shield you with his body, and Jisung clawed with an animalistic energy.

“HE DOESN’T FUCKING KNOW HER!” Jisung had been sobbing too, then swung a haphazard fist to Changbin’s back.

Felix and Chan came rushing to catch you as you fell into their arms, then Changbin swiftly turned to return the hit.

“Me?? You’re fucking crazy!!” He dodged another hit. “What the hell do you know about her?? Huh? YOU don’t know a thing about her!!”

Jisung wiped his eyes then threw another lazy punch. “What are you talking about???”

The two men stood still, both of them turning to turning to look at you with heaving chests. In your friends arms you trembled, and your worst nightmares unfolded right in front of your face. Your body fell to the ground, and the snow seeped into your clothes, just as it did on that night so long ago.

“Holy shit.” Jisung grabbed both sides of his head in his realization. “She fucking played us. SHE FUCKING PLAYED ME.”

Changbin cast his eyes away from you, just as he had when he had barely known a thing about you. He wouldn’t give you the pleasure.

“You were fucking her too, weren’t you?” Jisung laughed out like a madman. “So that’s what she’s been doing this whole time I haven’t seen her. She’s been fucking you and--”

Changbin’s fist rose, and it came crashing into the side of Jisung’s face so suddenly that you and your friends jumped from how fast he had done it.

He said nothing, but proceeded to raise his fist again, then sent it right back into the soft of Jisung’s cheek before he had a minute to respond to the first. Jisung whimpered, then spat blood out of his mouth. His tears had returned, but this time, they were infused in his own anger. The two boys steadied their stance, looking into each other’s eyes with lethal rage. Jisung attacked back with a yell that echoed through the alley, and he too landed punches to Changbin’s sides in sharp hooks. Changbin then grabbed the other man’s shirt collar, pulling him close, then knocking him back with red and bloody fists.

The two boys scuffled and slipped in the snow which had slicked on the ground to make each of their steps clumsy. Jisung sobbed through each of his punches, whereas Changbin held his teeth shut with a grit, merely grunting as he swung more and more. Your own tears blurred your vision, and your chest felt tight; nearly like it was about to burst. Your friends clung to your body just as tight, hushing to you and yelling at the boys to stop, but their voices sounded distant and faint.

Jisung landed punch to Changbin’s eye which split the skin there on his eyebrow. Changbin returned the favor in the same spot, creating the same effect. With crackled lips they swore at eachother, and you could only make out one phrase from Changbin’s mouth:

“Don’t you. Fucking. Touch her.”

The door swung, “Changbin?”

Minho hugged his coat around himself, only to jump out of his skin at the scene in front of him. He dodged two of Jisung’s swings as he clambered over to his roommate to hold him back. He was nearly two seconds late: with a roar, the two boys landed terrible blows at eachother, knocking them both to the ground.

“‘Bin--stop, STOP!” Minho wrapped his arms around his friend.

Just as he did, two other boys exited from the venue: one of them tall with long black hair and the other with hair as white as the snow.

“Fuck you.” Jisung growled dizzily, and his two friends swooped in to help him back to his feet. They too looked furious, but Jisung waved them off groggily. “Don’t w-waste your fucking time. Y-you--” He pointed directly at Changbin. “D-don’t waste your time...on her. I-I’m such a fucking fool.”

“Sung, let’s get out of here.” Jisung’s tall friend urged him. “Anyone on that street could’ve called the cops.”

Minho held Changbin up then looked to you and your startled friends eyes seriously. “We need to leave too.”

“We need to get him to a hospital.” Felix’s voice cracked.

“You think that he can afford a bill? N-no. We can’t do that. I’ll explain later...he’ll be fine. He’s done this to himself before. Idiot.” Minho slugged his roommates arm over his shoulder and Chan rushed to grab the other.

Your legs shook when Felix helped you to your feet. Any second, you thought they would give out. Thick strands of blood and saliva caught on Changbin’s lip. Seeing him like that made you feel even sicker. It was all your fault.

“M-My place is close-by. We can go there.” You locked eyes with Minho.

“Okay. We’ll go there.”

╚ ——————————————— ╝

Your hands trembled violently once you brought your key to your lock. They burned with the cold, and were wet from how you had clawed at the snow.

“Here, let me.” Felix gently offered.

Your apartment was an absolute wreck. Tiny as it was, you had managed to make a mess of it all with art supplies, dirty dishes, hundreds of sticky notes with reminders and textbooks. As you entered, you swept everything to the side with your feet.

“W-what do we do?” Chan’s own fingers had turned pink from the cold where he held Changbin: head slumped and blinking hazily, then shivering furiously--the action thus making him groan out in pain.

“He-he’s freezing. There’s blood...” You fell from Felix’s arms. “I-I have to help him.” Once more, tears welled in your eyes. “We need to get him warm. Get him in the shower and clean him off.”

“Okay. Where’s the bathroom?”

You guided the group of boys down your hall where it became a group effort to remove him of his soaked clothes. Your pants had also been soaked through, but that didn’t even phase you; not when blood stained his mouth. He slumped his body over into four pairs of arms.

“I can take it from here.” You closed the door behind yourself.

Just as you did, you caught Chan’s surprised and widened eyes after Minho had leaned back from his ear. “He’s the son of WHO?”

You shimmied your own clothes off, ignoring your own shivering as you held him up. The act itself was difficult, and you had given up when it came to your undergarments. It didn’t matter much, so you left them on, along with his. All you wanted was to get the blood off of him--you couldn’t bear to see it.

The warm water on your skin felt unreal: a blanket of warmth to dissolve away the chill that clung to your body. It was as if you were defrosting: melting away the illness, the poison, the doubt and the fear. For a moment, you let yourself think that it was that simple.

“Y/n”

At your feet, the water turned from clear to pink.

“What is it?” You hushed above the sound of the shower, and Changbin rested his forehead on your shoulder.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why? You shouldn’t be sorry...I’m the one that should be.”

“N-no.” He coughed, “I feel so sorry.”

“Changbin--”

“--Why him? Why him when he would treat y-you like shit? I-I know how he is.”

“I-I don’t know...”

It was a funny thing crying in the shower. It was somewhat like you weren’t crying at all with how your tears mixed with the stream.

He sniffled, “I-I’m not mad at you. I mean...I was, but...I just don’t understand.”

“Please, be mad at me. Be fucking furious. T-this is all my fault. I shouldn’t have lied. I shouldn’t have kept it a secret--”

Changbin chuckled, then rose his head, lips bloodied, one eye squinted, with a smile on his face.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You’re holding me back. I didn’t have to do it this time.”

At first, you didn’t know what it meant. But then, you realized. You had been clinging on to him for dear life: your arms completely wrapped around him, even now when he was standing on his own.

“I thought that I gave a damn since it was him--it made me so fucking mad that it was him but...”

“...What?”

“Fuck me, but...I love you.”

You shook your head vehemently, tears crossing with the warm trickle of water. “N-no, you don’t.”

He chuckled once more, “I think I’d know if I did or didn’t.”

“Don’t say that.” Your chest shook.

“Why?”

“B-because you don’t mean it. You can’t love me.”

“Why not?”

His hands, bruised and pink cupped both sides of your face.

“Someone like me...You can’t fucking love me.”

“What? You’re not making any sense. Y/n, I think I’ve fucking loved you since the first night that I met you, and you can’t stop me from loving you. Listen, you don’t even have to love me back for now, but can you at least accept how I feel for you?”

How was it you had been able to scream it before, but couldn’t find the words now?

Heated steam filled up your shower, and dripped from the walls. His skin too dipped with drops of that water. You thought to yourself how the blood and the water mixed, the two colors didn’t work together at all. Why was all you could think of colors?

“Okay?” He asked.

Your own hands took to his soft cheeks, where you brushed away any streaks of red you could see there.

You closed your yes after, succumbing to the feeling that the water brought you: melting, fading, dissolving, just like the way that watercolors blended from one to the other on a page. You felt Changbin press his forehead into yours.

“I-I think that I love you too--but--I’m so scared. So fucking scared.”

He let out a relieved “oh” then pressed his lips gently into yours. Each kiss after the other was more and more careful. He poured his whole being into your quivering lips.

“Please don’t be scared. Don’t be scared of me. I swear that I won’t hurt you, I never want to. I mean it. Please don’t run from me.”

Here you were, worrying that he was the one to run from you. You felt pathetic thinking how patient he had been with you, how much he had put up with, and what he had just done, all for you.

He kissed more “pleases” into your mouth, then drew you flush against his chest.

You held onto him tighter. “Do you mean it?”

He nodded, then craned his neck to fill your mouth with more of his answers, and it did feel like the way that watercolors faded into one another.

╚ ——————————————— ╝

“Will he be okay?”

Felix, Chan, you, and Minho sat on your couch with mugs warming your hands. In the past half hour or so, none of you had said much.

Minho sighed. “He will be. He just needs to rest now. I’ll take him to the clinic tomorrow, see if anything is wrong. Knowing him...thick skulled asshole...” He scoffed with a smirk, “--He’s fine.”

“T-that’s good.” Chan took a sip. “He fell asleep?”

“Right after we got out of the shower. Lucky I stole some of Chan’s joggers back then. I put him in my bed and he was out like a light. Didn’t say that anything else hurt.”

In unison, the four of you took another anxious sip.

“He can stay here tonight? If that’s okay with you?” Minho asked.

“Yeah. That’s fine. I don’t think he wants to move wither.”

Felix looked about himself awkwardly. “Wellll I think that we should get going then. Y/n, call us if you need anything?”

“Mmhm.”

A silence filled the air.

“Y/n, did you know?” Chan blurted out.

“Me? Know what?”

Minho shot the other man a deadly glare, then cleared his throat. “Bin’s dad is some high ranking politian. Someone so high that we’d know his name: that’s how he explained it to me. He left his whole life with them to rap. If he had gotten caught tonight, in the alley or some hospital with his real name, it would’ve been all over the news. He’s been trying his best to be invisible since high school...doesn’t want to tarnish the family reputation or something, even though they practically hate him....I don’t get it. They basically disowned him after he said he wanted to do rapping, not like he minded though. His surname isn’t even Seo.”

“Do you know what it is? His surname?”

“He’s never told me and I never asked.”

Another silence fell over your group.

“...He never told me.” You watched the steam of your tea.

“And I didn’t tell you either, alright? This stays between us.”

Felix mocked a zip over his lips.

“Guess I’ll have to ask him about him about his artistic process another time then, hm?” Chan cracked his sarcasm with an airy laugh.

“Guess so.” You tried your best to laugh back. “Thank you for tonight. All of you.” You met each boys eyes and each of them nodded in understanding.

Felix clapped his friend’s back. “Let’s head out.”

╚ ——————————————— ╝

One light was left on in your room: the strand of pink string lights that you hung over the wall your bed was against. The rest of your room was cluttered as well with clothes strewn about and your backpack contents scattered all across the floor. From your tiny and aged window, snow had accumulated in the corners, and further, the yellow and red lights of the city sparkled. Just as you were about to pull the plug for the lights, Changbin groaned out groggily.

“Wait...what are you doing?”

“Turning off the lights. I’m going to go to sleep too now. I wanna give you some space. I’ll go over on the couch.”

“No!” He roused himself, “No. Don’t do that. Can you...stay in here?”

“Sleep with you?”

“If you want? I wouldn’t mind.” He smirked, ever cocky. Nothing took that from him. “Two bodies are warmer than one.”

“Bin...”

His smile really was just a bit too cute.

“Mm. I like it when you call me that.” He reached out his arm to tempt you in. “Please? Come on.”

You toyed with his forearm, shaking it a little like you were throwing a tantrum. “Do I have to?”

“Hey! We just had a fuckin’ moment! I just bore my frickin’ heart for you.”

“I’m just teasing. I will.”

Right by his wrist, a puffy scar caught your eye, and you wondered if you had missed cleaning one of his wounds. You turned his arm over, revealing the gnarly scar: a stripe, about 3 inches long running parallel to his arm.

“What’s this?” You studied it further.

“Oh. That. Don’t get mad, but, tonight’s fight wasn’t my first. Some fucker with a watch or a bracelet or something tore the shit outta my arm this one time.” He inspected it himself, “It’s my battle scar. I’m kinda proud of it. If I hadn’t stepped in, who knows what he would’ve done to his girlfriend? There’s a special place in hell for guys like him.”

Stormy grey eyes.

Rosemary and cedarwood.

You thought you had cried all the tears that would’ve been possible that night. Blurred memories, the ones that you had tried so desperately to forget came flooding over you. How you hadn’t known...was beyond you.

“Hey...” Changbin scooched back up to wipe your tears. “Tears again? What’s wrong?” His thumbs wiped them away. “You can tell me?”

“It-it was you??”

“Me? Me what?”

“On that night, in the alley when it was snowing, I-I was alone and he...”

Changbin’s eyes too blew out, then his own tears gathered in the corners. “Holy shit...that was you too?”

“Yes.”

“Oh my god.”

Instinctually, he threw his arms around you, back into his scent that was just as clear as the real first night you had met him. Together, you both turned into babbling, sniffling messes.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” Your voice shook. “I’ve always wanted to thank you. I-I can’t believe--”

“--Come here.”

Changbin swept you off your feet and wrapped all of his limbs around your body where he had pulled you into the bed, finally sweeping the covers over top of both your bodies with a kiss to your forehead.

“You’ve gone though so much. Fuck, I don’t know how you’ve done it.”

Your own hands snaked around his body. “Bin...”

“We’re kind of impossible aren’t we? All those years ago, and now...”

“Thank you.” You kissed into his mouth, silencing him something much sweeter than your secrets.

His body shifted, and he returned with his own kisses, each one slow and careful. He twisted his body to lean slightly over you, wincing at the pain that it caused him.

“Fuck. That hurt.” He sighed with a tiny pout, “But, I don’t want to stop kissing you.”

You bit a little smile into his lips. “Don’t push yourself.”

“What? I can’t help it.”

This time, you pushed him back to swiftly cast your legs on either side of his hips to straddle him. “This better?”

He hummed out a happy yes, reaching down to pull your lips into his again. Like it always had been, you could’ve kissed him like this for ages, and time would slip into nothingness: a mere construct undefinable. Outside, the world was still dark and cold, but inside, the heat of your two bodies mingling banished it all away.

“By the way, I wanted to tell you that I think that your art is beautiful.” Changbin broke momentarily, then pointed to your unframed paintings stuck to the walls with painters tape. “I’ve never seen anything like them. I don’t know why you keep them hidden here. The world should see them.”

“Trying to get into my pants now? Who told you to say that?”

From your string lights, his whole being was bathed in a soft pink light.

“No one. But I mean it...you know, if I wasn’t debilitated, who knows what I would do to you right now.”

“Woooow, you talk such big game.”

He shot you a teasing glance. “I’ll fucking do it, fuck my probably broken-or- bruised ribs.”

“No! Don’t do that.” You chuckled. “Don’t hurt yourself.” With a newfound confidence, you lowered your body to hover your lips over his own. “What if I go easy on you....nice and slow? Didn’t you say once that you liked to take things slow?”

His eyes darkened as he mimicked your tone. “Anything as long as it’s with you.” After, his hands swept all the way down your back, lightly brushing up the fabric of your sleep-shirt, then to kneed into your ass. “Will you let me love you tonight?”

“Will you let me love you back?”

“Yes.”

You shoved your hips down into his, grinding as purposefully as you could over his half-hard dick and shivering at the sensation over your clit. Both of your bodies trembled at the action. Under the cotton sheets and down comforter, there was nothing that could have felt cozier against the bare skin of your arms, and the way that his fingertips traced scribbles into your back.

In seconds, he had pulled your shirt off your head, kissing little moans into your mouth once his hands had found your breasts. All the while, you kept your hips moving, reveling in the way that with each thrust of your hips you had felt yourself get wetter. He pulled and tweaked at your nipples which hardened them instantly, and you bowed down to kiss him on all the places where he didn’t know he had needed the attention: on the tip of his nose, in the corners of his mouth, over that scar on his chin, fluttering over his bruised eyelid, overtop the Band-Aid above his eyebrow, giving care to all the little scrapes on his cheeks.

He had keened his hips upwards, now properly hardened from your friction against him. Even just like this, his length felt heavenly. With a careful prompt, he guided your torso upward, granting his mouth better access of your perky nipples which he took into his mouth greedily. Even greedier hands cascaded down your stomach to your boyshorts where he pulled at the elastic. After, he ghosted his touch over the thin fabric separating him from touching your clit. The sensation nearly sent you topping over, but rather you grabbed at the iron headboard to your bed to steady yourself. Changbin blew his words over your nipples with a cool air.

“Can I?”

“Do you even need to ask?” You chuckled out.

“Of course I do.” He hooked two fingers to help you shake the fabric off your legs. “I always do.”

First, he pulled you down into his lips; a distraction, then he coaxed his digits into your folds. You hadn’t known how embarrassingly wet you had become, but that was nothing compared to the reality of it. The sounds of your slick coating his fingers was loud enough to make you giggle, and for him to return it.

“That excited huh?” His index finger rubbed faint circles around your clit.

“W-what about it?”

“I just think that its cute.” He removed his hand to show you the way that your arousal strung around his fingers. “‘So wet for me, aren’t you angel?”

“Mmhm.” Your hips did their own helpless dance over the pads of his fingers once he had brought them back down. “S-shit.”

A wicked smile spread over his face as he indulged in you more. Back and forth, he traced around your swollen clit, then down to your entrance, barely giving you any contact at all.

“Remember our first night? Hmm? Remember what I did to you? ...I could do it again...”

“B-Bin...” You gasped out his name at the thought.

His tongue slicked over your bottom lip, “Would you like that?” His index and middle finger swept even rougher swipes over your clit which sent you mewling back on his tongue.

“Yes? Or no? Use your words Beautiful.”

That intense feeling, that unreal feeling...you would’ve been lying if you had said you hadn’t dreamed of it.

“...yes. I want you to.”

“Okay my love. Just relax. Lean on me if you have to, okay?”

“It won’t hurt you?”

“No. Not at all.”

With your quivering thighs, his hand dipped back down and toyed with the heat of your folds and angrily sensitive clit. Your choked moans muffled into the crook of his neck where you had buried your face. Every single touch of his made your body feel as if it was aflame. Relentlessly, he switched from circling to stopping, every once and a while slipping a couple fingers to stretch out your entrance. He wouldn’t grant it to you fully yet, but his curved digits teased at your g-spot for only seconds at a time.

In his ears, you filled them with “more, more, more’s” and little whimpers of “deeper, deeper, please, deeper.”

“More? Is that what you want?”

He winced terribly at the action, but he pushed you off from on top of him till you were flat on your back, screwing his fingers into you deeply.

“I’ll give you as much as you want.” He kissed the words to your collarbones.

All at once, his pace was renewed, and his fingers curved up sharply inside of your pussy to simulate your g-spot as roughly and quickly as he could. In his skill he gave your clit attention with his flattened thumb. The overwhelming feeling built in your core and inched closer second by second. Your control over your body slipped past you, and you fell completely into the feeling.

You came with a uncontrollable shake of your whole body, and a release of pressure that made you into a moaning mess--that of which you didn’t need to be careful of if you had been too loud or not. Freely, you convulsed with that indescribable feeing, and your liquids wetted both your thighs and the fringes of the sheets which Changbin just barely removed from your body.

“Fuck. Fuck.”

In his adoration, the man above you proudly chuckled at your body still quivering with aftershocks.

“Think you can take a little more after that? Take your time angel.”

Your head spun, but it did so only for a moment. As you came down, Changbin kissed one, two, three, little kisses into your shoulder while he admired the way that your body shook.

You nodded, laughing at the fact that you really did have no idea what time it was, nor could you even guess.

“Do you have--”

“--Dresser. O-over there.” A weak finger of yours pointed to your side table.

A series of grunts slipped out of him, but he rolled himself over to take a condom from the strand and take care of it himself. He hid is tiny embarrassed smirk once he laid down.

“Angel, I-I think that you’ll have to--”

“--I know.”

Back to your origional position, you aligned your entrance against his length which was still as red and hardened as ever.

“Nice and slow right?”

With one hand, you guided his dick into your velvet walls.

“Oh shit.” Changbin pulled at your lip with is teeth upon the first roll of your hips. “Just like that. Just...like that.”

It was beautiful, the way that he felt inside you. It had hurt a bit the first time, but now, it was different. The way that he filled you up was perfection: you were perfect for him, and he was for you.

“D-don’t stop.” He pleaded while he scraped his nails down your back.

To think, the one who had told you he didn’t say “please” was now at your mercy. It took everything you had not to let it go to your head.

He angled his hips upward, pushing himself even deeper, and you nearly lost your composure at the feeling. Your core tightened again, and you let yourself grind over him, not stopping once.

“F-fuck. Bin, ah! Shit--”

“Don’t stop, don’t stop.” Became his breathless mantra. “Y-you fuck me so good angel.”

Clambering lips came colliding and you rode out your orgasm on his dick fiercely, connecting your mouth with his so he could feel every little bit of the pleasure that he gave you. He did the same, spilling his euphoric “ah ah’s” all over your lips and eventually to your neck where he sucked carelessly upon his own orgasm. You milked every last bit of him from his throbbing erection until he shook and begged you to stop his overstimulation.

Perhaps because you were tired, or you craved the feeling, but not a bone in your body wanted to move.

“Can we stay like this...for a while?”

Changbin kissed his answer back to you.

“For as long as you like.”

Yes, the both of you had turned to sweating messes, and the scent of sex hung heavy around the both of you. Of course, it smelled just a little like rosemary and cedarwood. Wrapped up in one another like this, there was no telling where you began and he ended.

Until the sun peaked at the horizon, he filled you to the brim with his “I love you’s” anywhere that he could manage: into the palms of your hands, into the love bites he had painted onto your chest, onto your ears which he nibbled, and, into your sleepy eyes which had held his for as long as you could, until the allure of sleep drew both of them closed.

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im-pok · 3 years ago

Text

Just for fun (and to make these easier to find) I have made a compilation of JSRF quotes!

I did find the quotes from this video by RisingSonic17 on YouTube. I do suggest watching it as it gives more context to the lines:

youtube

Keep in mind that some interactions may be missing, as I have never played JSRF and may be unaware of some interactions. Characters and their quotes appear in chronological order according to the video.

Corn:

"This is the GG's Garage. Hey, where's our pizza? Huh? You're not the pizza guy? Oh, you're here to join the GG's, eh? Heh... Tell you what. Find Gum. She's the one you wanna talk to. Just get close to her and pull the 'Right Trigger'. Got it?"

"Why don't you talk to her now?"

"Now, just 'cause you're new don't mean you can act like a big baby. The police are tightening up here, especially since the Rokkaku took over the police force. I know we look crazy 'n all, but even we know to pick our fights. So don't mess things up for the rest of us, got it?"

"Roboy's training changes as your skill level changes, so be on the lookout."

"I had a feeling Poison Jam would have their hideout in the sewers beneath Rokkaku-dai Heights. This is it... looks like the time to throw down has finally come."

"Man, those Poison Jam freaks are out of control. I say we start on Chuo Street and cover everything to Rokkaku-dai Heights and 99th Street in our graffiti. Chuo Street is probably the best place to start."

"Roboy told you, right? If you find a Mystery Tape, you gotta check the GG-notebook. It'll tell you where to find the Graffiti Souls in the area."

"Where the hell is Yoyo? Maybe he freaked out and skipped town? I'm sure he's alright. But we gotta take care of those Immortals. They've been walkin' around like they own the place. We gotta go and cover up all their graffiti."

"I'll send those Immortals back to the grave as many times as I need to!"

"We'll stop those Noise Tanks!"

Gum:

"Poison Jam knows something about Yoyo. I know they do."

"Damn! Punk, I'll get you for that!"

"The fortified residential zone... that's deep in the ghetto. And it could be the fake one again..."

"Here they come. The crazies from the Golden Rhinos. Concentrate, and watch your back. These guys ain't no joke."

"We gotta protect the streets. That's not a choice. We can't let these fools just waltz in and take over."

"The real enemy is your own fear. Remember that."

"So you're the cat that wants to join us, huh? I don't know where you're from, but the streets are tough. Real tough. Let's see what you're made of. We'll start you off nice and slow. Let's see how much air you can grab. Press the "A Button" to jump."

"Dogenzaka Hill is GG territory. I heard there's some headphone wearin' freak creepin' up here. If I could just find him, I'd show him what's up...."

"You can do it, can't you?"

"There are a couple of places in Shibuya Terminal where you can get on the roof of some buildings. You can get there by jumping from a Grind. You should check it out. Who knows what you'll find up there? When you're looking for something, the best place to start is the Map. You can see it by pressing the START button."

"The area of 99th Street is built around a tower that has a bunch of places to Grind. Definitely check that place out. There are also telephone poles to Grind and billboards to Wallride... the most important thing is to just try everything out. Oh, and don't forget to check the map by pressing the START button. That should give you some helpful hints"

"We actually found Roboy in a dumpster. Corn fixed him up real nice."

"I've been lost in the severs before. Its kinda crazy in there, but as long as you keep moving up, you'll be ok."

"Yoyo just can't chill and stay out, can he? He'll be back soon, I'm sure. I heard the Immortals hang out in the skyscraper district or something..."

"Actually, they say Roboy is actually a Noise Tank prototype. Don't tell him that though, ok? We don't wanna make him cry or nothin'. In any case, we're gonna get those damn Noise Tanks."

Yoyo:

"Those tracks should connect Sky Dinosaurian Square to the edge of the skyscraper district..."

"I hear that Poison Jam's woman leader has been showin' her face in town."

"Man, the Rhinos gotta be pissed off!"

"Shibuya Terminal is in a state of panic. I really wanna stay out of this, but we gotta go over there and take care of business."

"Don't use your eyes. Just try to feel it, ya know?"

"Graffiti has the power to wake up the energy that's asleep in the streets of Tokyo. The Rokkaku Group... the police... they don't know what's up. So let's just cover this whole place in art, yo."

"Yo, you know that dude Hayashi from the Rokkaku police force? That guy is one messed up dude. He's a complete psycho. Watch out for him."

"I heard through the grapevine that some weird-lookin' girl's been hangin' out at Rokkaku-dai Heights."

"So you think Poison Jam is after us?"

"We gotta get the Doganzaka Hill goddess statue that Poison Jam took. We better hurry, or things are gonna get real ugly."

Beat:

"Anything go down while I was gone?"

"I've always thought that thing in Shibuya Terminal was nasty lookin' anyway! Let's do a little redecoration."

"Sometimes, you just gotta get moving or else nothin's gonna get done, yo.

"Hey, I've heard of you. You're one of the GG's, huh? Tell you what... I'll race you. If I can beat you in a race around Doganzaka Hill, then this place belongs to me. Got it?"

"Hope you won't regret that."

"Shibuya Terminal? Now that you mention it, there was this huge guy wandering around there... And fishy graffiti? That sounds familiar, but I didn't really look close enough to see if the graffiti that the fool was paintin' actually looked like a fish or nothin'."

"Hey. Is it true Poison Jam used to cause trouble in Chuo Street under a different name?"

"Rapid 99 of 99th Street. They don't show their faces in public very often. Some say Rapid 99 and Poison Jam are sworn enemies because something big went down a while back. I don't know the details, though. A friend of mine told me that the girls in Rapid 99 are real lookers. I just think he was too scared of 'em to say otherwise. In any case, it ain't gonna be easy to find 'em."

"You meet Rapid 99 yet?"

"Noise Tanks? Never heard of 'em. But we gotta find Yoyo. I'll go through the sewers and check out Kiboganoka Hill."

"Those Immortals really get on my nerves..."

"Crazy stuff is going down all over town! Looks like it's time for a little clean up... GG's style!"

Combo:

"Time to get serious."

"This kid's kinda funny."

"This time we should be able to tell if it's the real one or the fake Yoyo just by talkin' to him, right?"

"That crazy guy?! What're you talkin' about? He looks nothing like me. Besides, we don't got time to deal with that fool. Remember? The Golden Rhinos??"

"Well, they told us to come. Don't look like we got any choice."

"There are some things that you can only feel when you're out in the streets, you know?"

"What's this?! Who's been sprayin' these ugly tags on my turf?! Hmph. I'm guessin' it was you... Its on! If you loose, you're gonna be answerin' to me from now on, punk!"

"You think you can do this too? Let's see it!"

"Man, you're not all that. Here, I'll show you one more time."

"The deep end of the sewers is closed off because it's contaminated. At least, that's what I heard..."

"Hey, why you gotta go out and get a dog?! There's only one thing I hate more than dogs, and that's goldfish."

"I heard Rapid 99 used to run under a leader named Cube..."

"Thing that ticks me off most is, the Immortals ain't worth all this talk and trouble. I wonder if they got somethin' to do with Yoyo's disappearance?"

"There's a bunch of real big guys with real big attitudes causin' a big scene over on Highway Zero. Maybe they might know something about the Noise Tanks. Man, where the hell is Yoyo?!"

Rynth:

"What is UP with Yoyo, anyway?!"

"Hey, Graffiti Souls are a big commodity, right?"

"I don't care if it's a golden rhino or a blue hippo, I'll send 'em right back to the zoo where they belong."

"What's their master plan? I mean, the Golden Rhinos don't seem like their just out here to run the streets, you know what I'm sayin'?" (This quote was spelled like this in game. From my knowledge it should be "they're just out here...")

"Here comes Gouji. Let's end this."

"Did you get all the Graffiti Souls? We still got a full laundry list of things to take care of, you know."

"Hehehe... So this is your hideout."

"Poison Jam are... kinda cute!"

"Is it just me, or does Captain Hayashi not look like he eats his breakfast?"

Poison Jam:

"I don't think Yoyo's that kind of a person."

"I think hes hiding something."

"This feels like a trap. Be careful."

"Someone's after DJ-K?! You sure about that?!"

"Gouji Rokkaku is kinda interesting. But, I think he went a little too far this time..."

"I love everything about Tokyo... even the things I hate."

"Hur hur hur. You want to get rid of us, don't you? Nothing in life is free. You gotta work for it. Beat us in this race and we won't mess with you anymore."

"Har har har!! I told ya'll you were a bunch of wussies!"

Rapid 99:

"ghahah! Next thing you know, you will be all crying like a baby."

"If you can win a flag battle against us, I'll tell you where Poison Jam' s hideout is."

"Suit yourself."

Garam:

"I won't hold back."

"Hey. Keep it real."

"There's this lightning-quick girl over at Kiboganoka Hill. Dunno if she's still there. But man, I gotta say, I'm really trippin' out over Yoyo missin' and all."

"When it comes down to it, the Immortals are just dried up mummies, man. I bet they all nasty under those bandages."

Boogie:

"The Noise Tanks might look strong, but they're like cheap action figures! Just run into them and they fall apart! Oh yeah, that girl from the stadium... I heard she's been lookin' for us. You seen her yet?"

"Aww man..."

"The fortified residential zone... it's directly attached to the underground sewers. Man. I don't like that place at all."

"Is that dude in black even human? My heart's pounding... I don't know why."

"You're never as good as you can be! Don't slack off!"

"Y'all are crazy!"

Jazz:

"This doesn't look good."

"Alright. Stay cool."

"Yeah.... we were a little too laid back this time, I think."

"The fortified residential zone... hey, why don't we pick numbers to decide who goes?"

"It's about time the Rhinos brought things up a notch. We better be ready to get real serious too."

"What the hell IS that big thing, anyway? But, you better watch out for that fool in black..."

"If you get a "Jet" in the Trials, you can even use people who aren't here to take out into the streets."

"You're one of the GG's, right? Then tell this fool that they got the wrong girl! They think I'm one of you guys! So, they dragged me out here and looked what's happened to me!!"

"Hurry up! Tell him that I'm not a GG!!"

Noise Tanks:

"Hey, you're that GG that helped me out! Thanks for that man. Say... there's something that I've been wondering since then. You wanna find out who's the fastest? I KNOW I can beat you. Let's give it a shot!"

"Alright. Fine. See ya."

"I'll get 'em good no matter what!"

"The more worked up we get about this, the harder it'll be to find what we're lookin' for."

"There's somethin' not right about the way the Golden Rhino's are actin'."

"Why are those Golden Rhinos going after the Radio station? Well, make sure to be on the lookout for Captain Psychopath."

"We gotta save DJ-K! I can't stand listening to this music anymore!"

"If this town could talk, what poetry it would speak..."

"Ready?"

"Practice all you want, it will not make a difference."

"It is not over yet. Prepare yourselves."

"Heh... Go on. Fight!"

"Are you ready?"

Special interactions:

"Sometimes it just doesn't matter how much you practice."

Slate:

"Dude. I'm bored. Entertain me."

"Hmph. What a bore."

"My sources tell me that the Noise Tanks and the Rokkaku Group are in this together. Be careful."

"So is that Clutch guy in with Rokkaku too? Or is he just a little punk?"

"I'm about ready."

"The Golden Rhinos are really startin' to get on my nerves..."

"I got better things to do than play house with Gouji Rokkaku, but man, that big ugly thing has GOT to go."

"Graffiti Souls' sole purpose is to be sought out."

Clutch:

"You're looking for that kid, Yoyo, right? Tell ya what, if you go out and get some Graffiti Soul points... Hey! Wait a sec, you've already got quite a few. Lemme see those... Sucka! Thanks for the Graffiti Souls! See ya around!"

"Hah, hah! I look forward to it!"

"I dunno, but I just don't get what's going on here. Heh..."

"This Gouji Rokkaku dude is pretty funny!"

"Haaaahaha! Tokyo ain't half bad!"

Cube:

"If you can beat me at my own game, I'll leave you alone."

"Suit yourself."

"The fortified residential zone... Unless you're absolutely sure of your skills, you should stay away from that place."

"I've dealt with the Golden Rhinos once before. If you don't take them seriously, you're as good as dead."

"I can't stand even looking at that thing. Its just so... so... damn ugly!"

"Yeah. You just have to try everything with an open mind."

Beat to Corn:

"So you're the leader of the GG's? Heh... How's this sound? If I beat you in a race around Doganzaka Hill, you and your buddies have to answer to me from now on. If you beat me... well, we'll just see when it happens."

"Huuuh? You're so boooring..."

Talking to Beat in the garage before fighting the police:

"Anyway, I'm ready to rock. But what's up with that pooch, eh? Where did ya pick him up? You sure that's not the leader in disguise? Heh heh. Its only a matter of time before I become the leader of the GG's anyway."

Combo to Gum:

"What's this?! Who's been sprayin' these ugly tags on my turf?! Hmph. Was it you, princess? You've been a bad, bad girl. You've better hit me with everything you've got, 'cause I ain't gonna hold back just because you're a girl!!"

"The cue tone get you all jumpy?"

"You liked that, eh? I'll do it again for you."

Yoyo to Rynth:

"You're... like... you know... yo."

"Where'd you come from?"

Gum to Rynth:

Rynth to Beat:

"Cool. Welcome aboard."

"You kinda... smell weird."

Garam to Boogie:

"Hey. I'm next in command around here, little lady. The name's Garam,"

Combo to Boogie:

"This group is growing bigger every day. Fool just dig me, I guess."

Gum to Boogie:

"So you're the one from Kiboganoka Hill, huh? Well, this is the GG's. What you see is what you get. Just be yourself, you'll be cool."

Garam to Jazz:

"Well, um... I... uh... be cool."

"That freak who's been making all those weird tags... you think he's connected with the Golden Rhinos somehow?"

Boogie to Garam:

"Alright. Stay cool."

Jazz to Garam:

"I feel ya, but I think you should try to chill a bit. Keep it together."

Corn to Clutch:

"What a fool. But the fortified residential zone... that's deep in the ghetto. And it could be the fake one again..."

Jazz to Clutch:

"Don't push your luck."

Beat to Clutch:

"You just wanted some attention from us, right? Aww..."

Combo to Clutch:

"Man, you're such a jerk I almost like you."

Garam to Clutch:

"One of these days, I'll get you one-on-one! Just you and me, fool!"

Boogie to Clutch:

"Fine. I'll let you off just this once."

Slate to Clutch:

"Heh... Stay outta trouble."

Corn to Yoyo:

"Long time no see, bro."

Clutch to Yoyo:

"So you're that Yoyo guy, huh? Heh..."

Jazz to Yoyo:

"So, you're the real deal, huh? 'Sup. I'm Jazz."

Combo to Yoyo:

"You gonna go and try to get back into shape, huh?'

Garam to Yoyo:

"Heh... I caused enough havoc for the both of us while you were gone, bro."

Rynth to Yoyo:

"The most unbelievable stuff was happening while you were gone! Hehehe..."

Yoyo to Slate:

"Hey, sorry about all that, yo. My bad. But thanks to those fools, I'm all out of shape now. Maybe I'll go out and cause a little havoc to warm up, yo."

Yoyo to Jazz:

"Man, things have sure gotten busier sice I was last here?"

Gum to Beat:

"That fool dressed in black who's been hanging around Chuo Street... now that I think about it, you guys kinda look alike."

Clutch to Beat:

"In times like this, you won't fall as long as you look where you're going. Heh heh."

Garam to Beat:

"Hey, you know that guy everyone's been saying looks like you? Well, is it you?"

There is some cutscene dialogue missing from these lines. If I can find all the cutscenes, then I'll be sure to add them.

#jsrf #long post #jsrf beat #jsrf yoyo #jsrf corn #jsrf gum #Youtube

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fencesandfrogs · 4 years ago

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cloudtail’s daughter: jayfeather

alright, strap in, it's time for jayfeather. i've been holding it in on him for what feels like forever now; he's ya boy's favorite character

also, aside from dove and ivy, he's the character with the highest volume of changes to canon. even above cloudtail and brightheart, because they continue their lives, it's not a big deal. and lion and cinder go to the tribe, but like, that's it. (i'm figuring out if jay goes with them over the course of this essay. i think i said he did in holly? but he literally hasn't been mentioned once in that arc because there's a lot going on.) anyway lion and cinder don't get up to anything. but jay's priorities shift and we see that in his books. i'm really excited to write him but i need to finish arc 1 lmao.

but first, same deal as always. this is part of my cloudtail's daughter au, where dovekit and ivykit are born to cloudtail and brightheart. i don't know how well this will read preemptively, but i suspect it will be rather dependent on the others. cloudtail's daughter: dovewing and/or the long post that explains it are both good places to start, see the cloudtail's daughter tag on my blog.

[2.5k words, 14 minute read, one of the last warriors essays on this blog. i'm going to finish out with my character essays and then everything will be on new sideblog. so check out @mallowstep for more.]

section one: the leafpool business

at the beginning of this series, leafpool and jayfeather are on bad terms. they will stay on bad terms for basically the entirity of the book series. while one of my main complaints with po3/oots is the lack of acknowledgement of adoption, jayfeather has been lied to by his mother and his mentor, something neither hollyleaf or lionblaze have to contend with, and then his sister kills herself over it. obviously she doesn't, but from his perspective. so he blames leafpool because he was really close to hollyleaf and now she's gone, and it's his first real loss, and there's so much going on.

and so he's a grouch and he's unhappy and he's just trying to function when his whole support system has been dismantled over the course of what, like, a quarter moon? yeah so dovekit and ivykit are like "wow what a grouch he sucks" the same way they don't realize prey is dying of thirst & etc.

for the most part he's j chilling and then hollyleaf comes back and man is it some family drama. unfortunately it's postponed til book 4 because hollyleaf and jayfeather have journeys but anyway i'm getting ahead of myself, because this section should end and unlike the hollyleaf essay i want to actually have decent organization.

section two: hollyleaf is away (but jayfeather doesn't get to play)

holly, cinder, and dove go to deal with beavers. we only get jayfeather through lionblaze in the books, but jayfeather is...conflicted. he got his sister back and lost her again and oh i should say. i think jayfeather and hollyleaf are the closer pair of the siblings. not that they don't love lionblaze the same, but you know how cats pair bond? like, it's usually a trauma thing, but even in feral cats, you see very close friendships. anyway yeah so for other au's i've been sorting siblings n denmates into pairs for this purpose (mostly jaywing au because there's a lot re. dovepaw and jaypaw and remember they are reincarnated siblings they've got a close bond going.) and it's kind of...i don't know my point is jayfeather misses his sister because she's like, his best friend too. or she was. and then she died and now she's back and she left again, and lionblaze is more concerned about cinderheart, so jayfeather just comes off as grouchy all the time. but really he's lonely and sad.

so yeah, jayfeather is kind of moping around camp and then the tree falls and whoops now briarpaw/light is parapalegic.

and uhh this goes more or less as in canon but we don't get pov which is fine bc u can sub in canon. but jayfeather? he's still a sad boy but now he's a sad boy with purpose and that makes all the difference

yeah he's close with her. they're sweet. it's sweet. he's pressured by brambleclaw to take an apprentice. he's bristly and angry and "you're not my real father" you know?

beaver crew gets back. jayfeather, who had missed holly, is back to being angry for...angst and plot purpose, really.

but you know, when you love & miss someone and they leave and they come back and somehow that's worse because now they can leave you again? and you can't tell them you want them to stay because you're angry and hurt but you want them to stay? god i'm excited to write these chapters i love emotional turmoil.

he's protective of briarlight, he's trying to keep dovepaw from being a medicine cat, hollyleaf is apologizing but he's not ready to hear it and lionblaze and hollyleaf are beginning to reconnect and it feels like betrayal. so when cinderheart and lionblaze go to the tribe, he tags along. everyone, uh, strongly encourages he go. he is the big grouch.

section three: time travelling times

okay so the timeline for these books is...messy. if you track the chronology of my writing, it's messy. which is to say, i was thinking i could put forgotten warrior and distant whispers over the same time span, but that actually doesn't work, as i review my notes for FW because a big part of it is ivy and holly's relationship. so. fake news. whoops. that sucks.

or maybe it doesn't? idk i don't usually tell linear stories. i like messing with emotional impact of events. so writing 600k of very linear story telling is very not easy for me. but i'm trying.

right so basically the official order of events until i change my mind again is as follows (names abbreviated as DIHLJC because they're all unique): DCH returns from beavers, DILCJ go to tribe with some other random warrior undecided, J + rando return, JH start awkwardness (beginning of TFW, middle of DW), DILC return (end of DW), time travel stuff (middle to end of TFW). hopefully that was intelligble, but it is admittedly 85% for my own benefit.

alright so we've covered during beavers, now jayfeather and hmmmm let's say, uhhhh, let's say they go with, literally any interesting background character, uh, bumblestripe! he doesn't do anything in this au bumblestripe goes with them. also since his name starts w b i can still write DIHLJCB and have things be unambigious. and it means there are fewer bs in thunderclan and trust me you don't know how frustrating the existence of like 6 b characters is.

alright so we really have 3 sets of two pairs of cats here. maybe i won't go w bumblestripe, bc he doesn't have an existing relationship w jayfeather. i dunno. i'm a big fan of jay & briar, whether as a ship or just besties, but that's just out, and hollyleaf can't come a) because i said so and b) honestly maybe she can? actually wait hold on that solves my problems. hot damn so 6/6 of the pov cats go to the tribe and this will be one of the only times all six characters are plot relevant at the same time. but i'm going george r r martin on it and seperating the books not by time but into DICL + JH because they're two completely separate character arcs that happen to take place at the same time. (don't worry i'm going to resolve the fallen leaves thing. in this essay ig bc i've already covered hollyleaf.)

okay so yeah hollyleaf is sent bc jayfeather isn't planning on staying w tribe for long time. just short time. and he's all "firestar why"

"well jayfeather," firestar says, "you don't talk to your family."

"i talk to dovewing," jayfeather says

"you're not related to her," firestar says

"there's a whole prophecy about how i'm related to her," jayfeather says

"you know about that?" firestar says

and that's how the cat gets out of the bag.

so anyway. jayfeather and hollyleaf are sent because...hold on, spinning the wheel of reasons for a character to go on a field trip...because...because...because...because...jayfeather had one of those dreams. i don't know. rock or something. now he's going.

they get there, and this is where the books get a lil time wonky, bc jayfeather and hollyleaf stay for like a moon, during which jayfeather goes back in time. i think.

i haven't worked out the details and probably won't until i do an updated au synopsis because it's hard to keep track and i'm more concerned about character through lines. like, jayfeather does this and he feels sad, and hollyleaf is sad about her ghost boyfriend, and they're travelling back together, and hollyleaf is his sister and she doesn't make him feel like he needs protection and lionblaze is bad at that, and they start to talk again.

and yeah, they bond. again. it's kind of, on top of their old bond? like they don't repair anything, they bond like strangers. but it's not nothing, and that matters.

so jayfeather gets back, and we're moving into book five, and i don't remember when the last time i made a section break was or what number we're on, so...sorry.

section ???: old man yells at cloud

alright it's finally jayfeather's moment. you know, he's one of my favorite characters, and he only gets a book and a half. "but mateo," i hear you saying, "doesn't every character get a book and a half? and more importantly, 6x1.5 is 9, so how does every character get a book and a half?" well, yes, every character does, but dovewing and ivypool are relevant in books 1-3 and 6, cinderheart in 1-3 and 5, lionblaze in 1-3, and hollyleaf in 2-5 (and has a critical role in 1 and 6, just no character development), while jayfeather is just really essential to books 4-5, and has a background role in 3. that means he's about equal to lionblaze. he's equal to lionblaze. as far as the numbers go, i cannot tell you. it's a mystery.

right so the reason for this is because (a) jayfeather doesn't do that much in oots. i love him, but he's not, like, super important, and (b) he's going to work better in these books if he's concentrated. because his big theme is his relationship with hollyleaf and the past. they're both kind of stuck in it but in different ways. and that prevents them from ever properly healing. so jay never has a full arc in this. i mean he has a full arc, it's just not a satisfying one. and that means he's sort of got to be put in the containment units.

so anyway, he gets his real big moments in the fifth book, when he's reuniting starclan. i think this is one of the riskier decisions on my part: we'll see whether or not i can deliver on him the way i plan to. but i think i can pull it off so that his arc is more meaningful condensed as such.

right. so. jayfeather is decided. he is going to fix starclan. because dead cats need to get thier shit together and he dgaf.

he spends a decent amount of time arguing with yellowfang and bluestar, because basically no important cats have died. at least we're in omen of the stars so it still makes sense? i have no idea why yellow/blue are still so important. please kill more important cats. it makes us feel things.

but feathertail is also probably going to be involved, i don't know. i haven't read these books (specifically, books 4 and 5 of oots) in forever so i don't really remember what happens. but he's kind of, super done with everything. i think he'll probably try to get the support of mothwing and kestrelflight (which is canon i believe?) and try to work as a team. i feel like there's weirdness w shadowclan too i should sort out.

so yeah, there's some medicine cat bonding, everything is OK, sol is happening? but cinderheart is dealing with that. jayfeather is naturally very upset about disconnects with sol but like he's also dealing with stuff i...i really need to reread outcast and sign of the moon. well, they're on my list after "all of these fucking riverclan novels like why they don't show up in the main series but i still have to read a bunch to be able to write them that's not fair."

alright, well, with that very vague description of what happens, moving on, the prophecy gets revealed to the clans at a whole in like...the ending eighth of this book. trying to maximise the amount of exposure to other clans without messing with the pacing.

so jayfeather and undecided warrior B (definitively not hollyleaf) go to windclan. jayfeather is...very unhappy about this. he does not want to leave. thunderclan is his home, and he's blind, and it's really hard to adapt to a new space and he thinks everyone is going to treeat him badly.

and well, if you've read my culture posts, windclan is....very pro-medicine cats and pro-prophecy cats. funerals. mourning. prayer. is probably the best place to start, but to get to the meat of it, start with general clan culture. to summarize, windclan: religious. but kind of like catholics, they don't believe in an individual connection with starclan. only leaders, and medicine cats, and very rarely members of prophecies have a connection. so. jayfeather. he's twice over. that's very cool to windclan.

so cats are kind of falling over themselves to help him, and like. i mean jayfeather is a grouch and he hates that he needs someone to help him through the territory, but at least they don't treat it like a chore, or like he's pitiable. this is a desirable task. apprentices want to know about his powers. and kestrelflight is a respected part of the clan, arguably more important than onestar, and jayfeather has never really gotten over being shoved in the healer hole as a child like it was lesser or easier to be a medicine cat, and so it's a big change.

and yeah. so i mean. an unobservant reader might say jayfeather has sufficient ego. he does not need stroking. they, of course, would be wrong.

jayfeather has a complex, but it's not an ego issue. he's...he's been denied everything he's wanted, and he's jaded, and weary, and he's never really believed that his clan views him as able and equal. in canon, at present, he's lost almost every cat he's every cared about. alderheart is his strongest remaining tie, and his fear at losing him, but willingness to let him leave, is very telling.

so yeah, jayfeather enjoys being accepted. anyone would. he doesn't really have confidence issues, but....argh. i know why this is good i swear it'll come out in the writing.

anyway, that's...that's pretty much it. jayfeather? done.

#warrior cats #warriors au #warriors #hollyleaf #jayfeather #q #mine #txt #13th #March #2021 #March 13th 2021 #cloudtail's daughter #essay #long

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x-wing-junkie · 4 years ago

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Onward & Upward

Rating: Teen

Warnings: None

Tags: Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb “Zeb” Orrelios, Garazeb “Zeb” Orrelios, Alexsandr Kallus, Airen Cracken, Hera Syndulla, Original Rebel Alliance Characters

Established Relationship, Kallus gets his own ship, based on a Star Wars Adventures story, probably going to be jossed soon,

Summary: As the Rebels search for a new home following the assault on Mako-Ta base, Kallus is given a new assignment.

Notes: Sequel to A Safe Haven!

I fully expect this to be proven wrong as soon as we get more Star Wars Adventures comics with Kallus and his crew in them, but damn it if I didn’t already come up with my own ideas before finding out there would be further stories.

The Lasana, as always, comes from Anath_Tsurugi’s brilliant mind.

Cross posted from AO3 to celebrate 200 followers!

Home One was a busy ship in the days after the Rebellion fled Mako-Ta base. Their retreat plans had been thrown into disarray by the arrival of Darth Vader.

Stormtroopers, even Death Troopers, could be handled. But how could regular Rebel troops hope to last against a Sith Lord?

They hadn’t been able to and they’d lost a lot of men in the trying, General Draven among them.

The Rebellion was in space, all crammed into Fleet ships while the Council debated a new base.

Kallus hoped it was news of such a base that made General Cracken, head of Intelligence, call him to his office, but he couldn’t be sure.

When Kallus entered the tiny office, Cracken – a middle-aged human with graying hair – was poring over a datapad, so Kallus stood by the door until he was acknowledged.

After a few minutes, Cracken looked up. Kallus saluted and then sat in the chair Cracken indicated.

“Captain Kallus, you’ll forgive me for running late,” Cracken said. “We’re just waiting for General Syndulla.”

Suddenly, Kallus felt like a child about to be chastised. He ran through his behavior for the last few months and couldn’t think of any way he’d offended someone. Ever since the battle of Scarif, he’d been serving as part of the Ghost’s crew, going on raids and scouting locations and other ‘in-the-field’ missions. It’d been an ideal setup, allowing him the freedom to leave the base frequently and feel like he was making a significant contribution to the Alliance while being able to share a bed and a life with Zeb.

He wouldn’t change anything.

Well, that wasn’t quite true. He chafed a little under Hera’s leadership – nothing to do with Hera herself, but Kallus had always been in command as an Imperial and he missed having the sort of authority an ISB agent wielded. He missed being in control of his own actions, his own missions, his own destiny.

A soft knock sounded and Hera slipped into the room. Kallus returned her smile, covering his nerves easily.

Hera nodded at Cracken and the general cleared his throat. “Captain, I assume you’re familiar with the Imperial Freighter we captured over Kile II?”

Kallus was indeed familiar with the ship. Zaarin’s commandos had taken control of it almost bloodlessly. “Gozanti-class,” he said. “Looks to be pre-Empire but modified for Imperial service.”

“You’re familiar with that class of ship, I understand.”

Kallus glanced at Hera, but her face betrayed nothing. “Yes, sir. I often flew or commanded one during my ISB days.”

“That’s what General Syndulla told me.” Cracken leaned forward on his desk. “Captain, you’re being reassigned.”

Reassigned? No! “Where am I needed, sir?”

“I’m granting you command of our new ship. You’ll need a crew. I’ll give you some leeway in selecting them, but you’re being assigned a protocol droid.” Cracken glanced up at Hera, who gave Kallus a soft smile.

“I’m keeping Zeb and Rex,” she said, “but you can pick almost anyone else.”

Kallus had known, in his gut, that Zeb wouldn’t leave Hera and Jacen anyway, but it hurt to hear he was being separated, even if it did mean his own command again.

“This assignment comes with a promotion,” said Cracken, pulling out a new rank tab. “Congratulations, Commander Kallus.”

Still trying to digest all the information being thrown at him, Kallus picked up the rank tab and nodded. “Thank you, sir. What sort of assignments can I expect?”

“You’ll be Fleet command, but most of your missions will come from Intelligence. I presume you don’t mind picking up the mantle of Fulcrum again?”

“I didn’t ever put it down,” Kallus said.

“Good. Then you’re dismissed, Commander. I’ll expect your crew transfer requests by the end of tomorrow.”

Kallus nodded and left in a bit of a daze. He wandered down to Home One’s main docking bay, where the newly-captured Transport 478 sat. Mechanics swarmed over it, removing carbon scoring and repainting the yellow and gray accents.

“Nice lookin’ ship, isn’t she?”

“Garazeb,” Kallus said, relief flooding his chest. “Did Hera tell you?”

“That you’re getting a promotion and a transfer? Yeah.” Zeb sounded just as enthused as Kallus was. He turned the conversation back to the ship, obviously a safer topic. “You know, she needs a new name. Something Rebellion-y.”

Kallus leaned into Zeb’s side. “You know what she kind of looks like?”

“Huh?” Zeb’s eyes narrowed as he peered at the ship. “She’s bigger ‘n the Ghost, that’s for sure. I dunno what else.”

“The paint job,” Kallus pointed out. “Yellow on top, gray on bottom. She looks like that meteorite from Bahryn. The one that kept us warm.”

“Mostly warm,” Zeb corrected. He cocked his head. “You’re right, she does. So what? Gonna name her the Meteorite?”

“Maybe. Maybe she needs a different name. Something the meteorite represented.” Kallus crossed his arms and thought. “Something to do with hope, maybe. Or warmth.”

“Ollirahnd Kasmera,” Zeb said after a few moments’ contemplation. “Means ‘Glimmer of Hope’.”

“‘Glimmer of Hope’,” Kallus repeated. He turned it over in his head a few times. “The Rebellion could use hope right now, I think.”

Zeb wrapped an arm around Kallus’s shoulder. “You think you can pilot this thing?”

Kallus scowled. “Garazeb, I’ll have you know I’m quite a good pilot. You just haven’t seen me fly much.”

“Oh? Better than me, are you?” Zeb grinned, pressing a kiss to Kallus’s temple. “I think we should test that.”

Huffing a laugh, Kallus replied, “In the simulators. I don’t want you crashing my new ship.”

Zeb gasped in feigned offense. “Alexsandr Kallus, are you implying I can’t fly a ship?”

“I know you’re a decent pilot,” Kallus said. “But you’re not a really good one. There’s a reason Hera doesn’t let you fly the Ghost, just the Phantom II.”

Zeb laughed. “Okay, good point.”

Kallus smiled, but said nothing. Slowly, his grin fell, becoming something sad and miserable. “I don’t want this,” he said. “I want to stay on the Ghost with you.”

“And I’d come with you if Hera’d let me, “ Zeb said. “But you’re a victim of your own abilities. You’re too good at this stuff. They saw you lead the commandos, they know you fly well.”

“I could refuse the promotion and position,” Kallus said. “Stay with you.”

Zeb stood there for a moment, obviously considering the idea. “No,” he said finally. “It’s where you’re needed. They were gonna split us up sooner or later.”

Kallus felt a jolt. “You’re not saying–”

“No!” Zeb said quickly. “No, I’m not saying we should split up. I’m just saying it was silly to believe we’d get to stay together the whole time.”

It wasn’t silly, Kallus wanted to argue. It was everything I was fighting for. “I suppose you’re right.”

“‘Course I’m right,” Zeb said, giving Kallus’s shoulders a squeeze. “Come on, it’s dinnertime.”

Zeb slid his arm down Kallus’s back and caught his hand so they could walk together to the mess.

The fare on Home One was not quite as varied as the food on Yavin IV had been, but it was edible and, most importantly, not a nutrient paste, so Kallus was happy with it. He picked out a few spoonfuls of promising-looking dishes and followed Zeb to an empty table.

Their table didn’t stay empty for long. Hera joined them, as did Zaarin, Kallus’s former roommate. The talk, of course, was all of Kallus’s promotion.

Hera seemed apologetic. “I’m sorry to see you two split up, but General Cracken was insistent.”

Kallus gave her a small, reassuring smile. “It’s really okay,” he said, even though it wasn’t. “It was bound to happen at some point.”

“So who’re you picking for your crew?” Zaarin asked, raking back his shaggy hair from his face. “You need a commando, right?”

“You want to give up command?” Kallus asked. “What will Orenth-2 do without you?”

“They’re planning on merging us with Major Lissiri’s unit,” Zaarin said. “So I’m history either way. Might as well go out and see the galaxy, not just battlefields.”

Kallus chewed his food, thinking. Did he really want to work with Zaarin? The man was a friend and they’d survived living together, but… well, Zaarin could be a bit grating. “Fine,” he said after a minute. “I’ll submit your name.”

“Great!” Zaarin leaned forward. “Now, if you really want to make me happy, you’ll ask that new elomin in Intelligence, too. I hear she’s killer with a Kyuzo petar.”

Everyone else at the table sighed. Zaarin’s penchant for aliens – especially aliens with horns, such as elomin – was well-known.

“Tell you what,” Kallus said. “If you can tell me her name, right now, I’ll ask her. But if she’s just ‘the new elomin…’”

“Mikal,” Zaarin answered quickly. “I do pay attention to that sort of thing, you know.”

“No, we don’t know that,” Zeb laughed. “Gotta say, I’m surprised.”

Hera grinned, too. “Looks like you’ve got two crew members already, Kallus.”

“Only if Cracken approves all the transfers,” Kallus said. “So Zaarin, you’re good with explosives and apparently this Mikal is good with melee weapons. I’m a good ranged shot. We have a droid. What are we missing?”

“You want a mechanic,” Hera said. “Can’t tell you the number of times I’ve found myself wishing we had one.”

“Hey!” Zeb protested. “I do that sort of work!”

Hera smiled. “You do and you do it well. But it’d be nice to have you in a turret while someone else works on the shields when they fail. I don’t want to have to choose where you go.”

Zeb leaned back in his chair. “Fair enough,” he said. He turned to Kallus. “Grab a verpine if you can. If not, grab Jaci.”

Kallus nodded. Jaci had never quite bounced back after losing her cousin and both her lovers so close together back on Yavin IV. Instead she’d thrown herself into her work, quickly becoming the most sought-after of the human mechanics. Kallus had a fond spot for her; she’d been one of the first people on Yavin to show him kindness. Perhaps a change would do her well. “If Daine lets her go,” he agreed. “Anyone else?”

Hera shrugged. “We got along with a group of five for a good while before Ezra joined us and I’m sure between you and Zaarin, you can smooth-talk your way out of bad situations one way or another.”

Kallus wasn’t sure if he should be offended or not. He’d use diplomacy if he could but Zaarin would probably flirt his way out of trouble.

And, knowing the bastard, it would work.

“All right. I’ll get those names to Cracken.” Under the table, Kallus reached out for Zeb’s hand, giving it a soft squeeze.

“So does this make us all Fulcrum agents, too?” Zaarin asked. “‘Cause that’s really good for–”

Hera cleared her throat and Zaarin stopped mid-sentence. Continuing as if Zaarin hadn’t been about to make a lewd comment, she said, “I think Kallus will be the only Fulcrum agent, although you can talk to General Cracken if you’re truly interested.”

Zaarin laughed. “No, I’ll let K handle that one. I was just curious.”

Kallus and Zeb shared a glance and the lasat rolled his eyes. “I think Kal and I need to go,” Zeb said. “Got stuff for him to do.”

Cheeks warm with embarrassment, Kallus let himself be dragged off back to the Ghost.

“Garazeb,” Kallus said, casting about for the right words. “Are you sure you’re all right with me taking this position? We’ll both be gone so often.”

“But you’re not gone yet,” Zeb reasoned. “We’ll worry about that when it happens.” He reached out and pulled Kallus close, into a deep kiss.

Kallus closed his eyes and focused on the kiss: the taste and tang of Zeb, the feel of lips and sharp fangs against his. They’d gone through so much to get to the point where Zeb felt comfortable kissing him, Kallus hated to do anything to mess that up.

Reaching behind him, he hit the door controls and pulled Zeb back into their cabin. “Ollirahnd Kasmera,” he murmured, between kisses. “You realize Glimmer of Hope is a terribly sentimental name?”

“So call it the Glimmer. Or the Kasmera.” Zeb shrugged. “Better ‘n Glowy Rock That Kept Me Warm.”

Kallus laughed and cupped Zeb’s jaw, running his thumb through the lasat’s bristly beard. “I do love you, Garazeb,” he said.

Zeb arched his brows. “Now who’s the sentimental one, Alex?”

“Only because you made me so.”

Zeb pushed Kallus back on the bed. “Guess I rubbed off on you the right way.”

“Something like that,” Kallus laughed again.

“Tomorrow we’ll get you moved into your new quarters and then break ‘em in properly,” Zeb said. “But you’re not leaving on that ship yet. We’re still together for tonight. And I have plans for you.”

“Plans?” Kallus grinned. “Show me.”

And Zeb did.

Kallus lay there after, wrapped in Zeb’s arms, running his fingers idly through thick purple fur.

Glimmer of Hope, he thought. The Glimmer. I can work with that.

He used to think there wasn’t the slightest bit of hope for both of them to make it through the war together, but Zeb’s steady belief in something better had wormed its way into Kallus’s heart.

Thanks to Zeb, he had more than just a glimmer of hope that there was something for them on the other side of this long war.

And that something was worth fighting for.

Worth living for.

#Susan writes stuff #star wars rebels #kalluzeb

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kbstories · 5 years ago

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Sedimentation

sed·i·men·ta·tion (n.) The process of establishing and reinforcing meaning through repetition.

First and foremost, Ace is a big brother - not the only one Luffy's ever had, but the one he has left.

(Or: Luffy and Ace get more time at Alabasta because I said so.)

Tags: Reunions, Family Feels, Brotherhood, Introspection, References to (Presumed) Character Death, (It’s Sabo)

Set in Alabasta. No additional warnings apply.

***

Even for a man made of fire, Alabasta is an uncomfortably warm place to be. The ground is arid to the point every step will kick up dust, and a fine haze of sand lingers in the air that turns the horizon into an indistinct flickering mess and makes every swallow rasp in the throat with grit.

From his vantage point high above, Ace slouches with his legs hanging off the ledge of a flat-roofed house and lets his gaze roam the streets below. His unknowing hosts bumble about downstairs, the muffled sounds of banging pots and laughter announcing it’s time for lunch; for a moment, Ace holds his stomach that rumbles a complaint, loud and insistent.

Just a little longer, he promises himself.

Not a single cloud graces the sky with its presence and the population below with a modicum of shade. Nanohana is a ghost town at noon, its inhabitants fleeing into their homes for a nap until the weather outside stops actively trying to cook them alive. Things didn’t use to be this bad – at least, from what Ace can recall of his first trip here, back when he was still captain of the Spade Pirates – but a lot can happen in three years.

Ace pulls his lips into a pout, the heat immediately stealing whatever moisture is left on them. No sign of Monkey D. Luffy.

Fingers drumming a tuneless beat against the brim of his hat, Ace thinks. Perhaps it had been a little foolish to assume Luffy would show up just like that, much less anywhere within the spectrum of ‘on time’. Even this early into the Grand Line, the waves are tricksters and the currents are more likely to lead to ruin than to any expectable outcome. Still: There had been rumors of a rookie crew demolishing Whisky Peak mere weeks ago, and a bombshell report out of the kingdom of Drum announced the rather violent eviction of its current (now former) ruler. Ace frowns, remembering the state of things he witnessed himself not too long ago.

Good fucking riddance.

Well, Ace has always figured the day his little brother sailed across Reverse Mountain would be followed by chaos and destruction all around. With the world tilting on its axis and spinning more and more out of control with every passing day, it’s hard to say how it’s going to look like a month down the road, a year, two. The powers that be aren’t ready for someone like Luffy, not that Luffy would particularly care about that.

A fond chuckle bursts out of him at the thought. Whatever happens, Ace can't wait to see where all of it is headed.

First things first. Ace flicks his hat back on his head and gets up, patting sand off his shorts. It’s everywhere, stuck to his lashes and making the sweat on his back feel tacky and gross. He sighs. Shower first, then food. His meal will taste all the better knowing the tattoo of Father’s jolly roger is as it should be: untainted and shown off with pride.

And then, with some luck, he will finally be able to see his brother again.

Getting cannonballed into by 140 pounds of rubber is quite an experience, no matter how many times one has been subjected to it. On instinct, Ace’s arms shoot out to grab on to whichever piece of Luffy’s clothes he can reach and he turns in a lazy half-circle, automatically aligning his center of gravity around the excited bundle of limbs clinging to his head. It makes breathing an impossibility for a moment or five but it’s worth it every single time.

“Ace! It’s really you!”

“Hello to you too, Lu”, Ace laughs, his grin almost as toothy as his brother’s now that they can enjoy their reunion in peace and sans Marine meddling. In a play as old as time itself, Luffy settles with his legs bracketing Ace’s shoulders and his head firmly planted on–

“Oh! You still have your hat, too!”

–the top of his hat, chin nudging its crown into a more comfortable position with surprising gentleness. Ace can’t see the smile on Luffy’s face like this but he knows it’s there judging by the way dumbfounded astonishment morphs into fondness on the faces of his crew members.

Bowing as politely as he can, he smiles and says: “Portgas D. Ace, Second Division Commander of the Whitebeard Pirates... and Luffy’s brother. Nice to finally meet you.”

Among the sputtering of “Whitebeard? The Whitebeard?” and “Wait, brother?!”, a guy with green hair and three swords makes the fastest recovery from general disbelief. He nods at Ace and smirks, “Likewise”, voice heavy with a confidence that rivals Luffy’s own. Seems like he’s the oldest in the bunch, too, which isn’t saying much since they all look about Luffy’s age and– Is that a reindeer?

(It’s hard to tell as whoever it is currently is trying to hide behind the main mast, ‘trying’ being the key word.)

They’re all strong though, Ace can tell. Inexperienced and fresh-faced and full of potential, just like their captain. His smile only grows.

So this is Luffy’s crew.

“Oi Luffy, when were you gonna tell us you have a brother?”

Happily wriggling his feet against Ace’s stomach, Luffy hmms as if deep in thought. “Dunno!” is the answer he comes up with after careful consideration, and Ace chuckles along with some of the crew. “It never came up, you know? Ace has his own adventures and stuff.”

If the heat was tough before, it’s unbearable now with Luffy’s furnace of a body compounding the issue. Ace lets him stay, stepping on his brother’s ship with a murmured “May I?” and a quick nod from a woman with short, red hair. The caravel is small but charming and cozy, so much so Ace feels immediately at ease. One of the many worries nipping at his nerves ever since he saw the name Strawhat Luffy under the words DEAD OR ALIVE is laid to rest then and there.

“Hey Ace, what are you doing here anyways?”

By now Luffy’s practically humming with unspent energy; Ace sighs and unceremoniously dumps him on deck, fixing his lopsided hat and necklace smoothly. Luffy is undeterred, snickering and effortlessly climbing a few feet up the mast to look at his brother from there.

“Taking care of business”, Ace answers casually yet can’t help the way his smile slips a little. The memory of Thatch bleeding out in his arms is too fresh, too grim to repress entirely. Luffy’s head tilts to the side but Ace waves him away before he can ask.

“Don’t worry, I can handle it. I just figured if I’m already around these parts I might as well meet up with my baby brother.”

When he left that message on Drum, Ace had figured he’d just say hi to his brother, tell his crew to watch over him (or else) and be on his merry way to put down Blackbeard like the mangy fratricidal dog he is. It’s only after he’s successfully ticked off the second item on that list – the crew looks sufficiently humbled and that green-haired dude Zoro grins at him, clearly approving, and why does Ace feel like he just passed some sort of test? – that he finally realizes he didn't account for one thing in this brilliant plan of his.

Because his brother is Luffy, and the moment Ace makes to leave he finds himself the target of a kicked-puppy-look-of-doom so heart-rending he feels terrible for even thinking that way.

“Lu, c’mon now, I…”

“But Ace! It’s been three years and so much has happened and we just met and–”

And that’s that. The whiny note in Luffy’s voice effectively shreds through whatever resistance Ace has left (which, if he’s honest with himself, wasn’t much to begin with). At the end of the day, he missed his little brother and it’s not like life hasn’t taught him – over and over and over again – to cherish the fleeting moments he has with those he loves. Ace pinches the bridge of his nose and groans.

“Fine. One night, okay? One. I really have to go after that.”

Luffy cheers, gloom immediately forgotten, and it’s then that Ace notices his crew is breathing a sigh of relief, too. So they're already aware a sad Luffy is to be avoided at all costs. Good.

The blonde one – Sanji the cook, Ace reminds himself – asks him what he’d like to eat and without thinking he says, “Anything with jolokia in it”, and Sanji shrugs, “Alright, coming right up”, and strolls away in the direction of the galley before it crosses Ace’s mind that those peppers are really hard to find and he’s already had lunch just an hour prior. He distinctly remembers Luffy eating his weight at the bar earlier, too, and he is yelling for meat at the top of his lungs.

Oh well. Might as well try out Luffy’s cook and see for himself that his gluttonous brother is well cared f–

Someone clears their throat to draw his attention. “Mr. Portgas”, a woman says, voice pleasant and measured in a way only diplomats speak. On this ship, with that captain, finding someone so eloquent is the thing that ends up surprising Ace the most.

“Ace, please. What's the matter?”

She smiles, an obvious appreciation for his manners even if it doesn’t pierce through the troubled look swirling in her eyes. “Ace, sorry. I'm Vivi, then. Would you mind if we continue along the coast and up the river during the night? We, um, we have somewhere to be and time is of the essence.”

Ace blinks. Isn’t that a question for your captain? Then again, Luffy is currently busy hounding his cook for scraps and knowing him, he’s not really the authoritarian type anyways, captain or no.

“Uh. I don’t really care, I can set off from wherever with Striker.”

Vivi follows the gesture he makes to his trusty fire-powered speed boat but her interest is polite, half-hearted at best. “I see. I appreciate it, thank you.”

Not we but I, huh? Be it paranoia or justified caution, Ace knows the devil is in the details and this Vivi, she has something to hide. Yet nothing disturbs the air of trust the others seem to place in her: A secret kept only from strangers, then.

“A-ceee.”

Ah. Ace shakes himself out of the analytical stare he’s fixed her with, and to Vivi’s credit she merely locks her jaw and stares back, all pretense stripped to reveal a core of steely determination underneath. Luffy is pouting at him, draped across the railing of the forecastle and clearly unhappy with the subtle tension rising around them.

“Stop being all serious and come here, I want you to meet Merry!”

Scratching his neck, Ace huffs a breath – “Alright, jeez. Give me a second.” – and he nods at Vivi, both an apology and a concession to what they discussed. “Let me know if I can help with… whatever’s going on. It sounds important.”

The smile she gives him is more genuine, this time. “It is. You’ve already done enough keeping the Marine off our backs, though.”

Ace shrugs, have it your way, and before Luffy can start getting annoying for real, he launches himself in a column of fire to his brother’s side. “Okay, then. Who’s this Merry?”

The Strawhats truly are a crazy bunch and Ace is fascinated. It didn’t take long at all for Sanji to bust out of the kitchen with a mouth-watering amount of food, and Luffy disappears from Ace’s side so fast he basically teleports to the cook’s side. Shaking his head, Ace climbs down the stairs leading up to Merry’s figurehead at a more measured pace, watching the crew deal with his brother’s antics like it’s nothing, as easy as breathing. Hands fly and insults right along with them as they somehow wrangle him into sitting down properly and keeping to his own plate (for the most part) and Luffy does, beaming bright as the sun in their midst.

It softens something in Ace’s heart to witness it – Luffy has grown in the time they spent apart, stronger in many ways and mellowed out in others and unchanged where it matters. Perhaps his crew doesn’t realize it yet but it’s no small feat, to accept him just as he is.

Then, a rubbery arm wraps around Ace’s waist and he’s pulled (literally rather than figuratively) into the fray.

Lunch is a loud and boisterous affair. Ace gives as good as he gets, fighting for every delicious bite from where he’s squeezed in-between Luffy and a guy as gangly and awkward as they come, and he can’t remember a time he saw devastation quite like when Usopp dares him to try his Tabasco Shot and it does absolutely nothing. “I fried my sense for spicy food years ago”, Ace admits between peals of laughter, and Usopp’s eyes light up before he scrambles to his little workshop haphazardly placed in the middle of the deck.

“Don’t go anywhere! You’re my test subject now!”

It’s a good while later that things start to settle down on the Going Merry as she makes her way up the Sandora River. One by one, the Strawhats disperse to their own corners of the ship, clearing out the mess left behind and cycling through their duties without a single input from their captain – be it by design or implicit understanding, it’s hard to tell. And while Luffy is all-too-happy to hog his brother’s attention, Ace soaks up the obvious joy radiating from his voice and the unique cadence of his laughter.

Crouching on one of Merry’s horns, head pillowed on the palm of his hand, he lets himself be regaled by story after story of their adventures, told in that nonsensical style of narration Ace knows better than his mother tongue. Luffy sprawls all over his ship’s figurehead like it’s an extension of his body, hands a blur as he acts out what he means with gestures and grimaces.

For being a crew from what is considered the weakest Blue, the Strawhat Pirates have caused quite the stir. Ace smirks. About time people stopped underestimating the underdogs.

After all, his mouth still burns from the final rendition of Usopp’s self-made tabasco, one the sniper declared as his new weapon with a glint of triumph in his eyes.

It dawns on him, as Luffy imitates climbing with clawed fingers and a short-lived scowl on his face (“–it was so high, Ace, and there was ice everywhere and no more bunnies to help us, you know? And then–”), that Monkey D. Luffy is a good captain. It’s not a lack of faith in Luffy’s abilities or a big brother’s sense of superiority that ever put that into question: The truth is that Luffy is trusting and kind-hearted to a fault, the devotion to his friends easily spanning all oceans and beyond. Absolute loyalty, rare as it is in this jaded world, is one hell of a double-edged sword to fight your battles with, and the Strawhats strive for it with the same fervor as the dreams they wrote across their hearts and souls.

It’s the same brand of recklessness that nearly got the Spade Pirates killed, back when Father was still Whitebeard, one of the Four Emperors, and Ace had a personal vendetta against the universe itself (and the man it called King) to carry out.

History has a nasty habit of repeating itself, of transmitting a sin from father to child and brother to brother, and Ace hadn’t known shit about that when they’d raised their cups of sake that day and swore to be family until the end.

Yet here Luffy is, giving out pieces of his heart and expecting everyone to fall into step beside him. Even their current quest across Alabasta seems to be driven by some favor or other – keeping a low profile, for one, seems completely antithetical to the small crew made large by their personalities – and Ace worries.

It's in moments like these that he wishes he wasn’t the only big brother Luffy has left.

“Ace?”

Luffy’s eyes are big and serious, hands having come to rest on his knees and brows drawing into a pensive line while Ace was lost in his head. It’s second nature to join him then, cross-legged and close enough to brush shoulders. “What is it?”, Ace asks quietly as he takes off his hat, lets it spin between his fingers – he offers it to Luffy, “Here”, a soft smile sneaking on his lips as his brother takes it and starts toying with it.

The distraction doesn’t work as well as it used to, and that’s alright. The main point is that, even as a kid, having something to keep his hands busy always helped Luffy parse through the thoughts bouncing around in his head.

Then, finally: “Where’s White-guy? He’s your captain, right?”

The questions are unexpectedly solemn, and Ace raises his eyebrows, waits for Luffy to elaborate. There’s a frustrated twist to his brother’s mouth, something small and annoyed.

“Like… It’s not fair. Does he know you’re all alone out here?”

Just like that, the pieces rearrange in Ace’s mind to produce a whole, and yeah, that would be a fault in Luffy’s eyes. “Hm, I get what you mean. Father…” Ace sighs. Where to begin?

“Every captain is different, and for him, we’re his sons. There was– Someone killed one of his sons, one of us, and Father didn’t want me to go after him but I insisted. It’s as if I tried to kill you, or you me. It’s unforgiveable, you see? So that’s why I’m here – I’m gonna bring that fucker to justice.”

A fraction of the anger seething within him seeps into Ace’s voice and it’s been years since he let himself be driven by hatred like this. But Luffy, he’s known Ace from a time everything that came out of his mouth was laced with lethal intent, and spite was all he knew how to reach for.

There is no unease in Luffy’s gaze now either, and when he returns Ace’s hat to him, his hands are steady and unbothered by hesitation.

“That won’t happen. Why would I want to kill you?”

Luffy says it with such earnestness, like he couldn’t come up with a single reason if given a hundred years to think about it; Ace laughs and puts his hat back on his head, and love surges through him like the fire in his veins.

“Exactly. It shouldn’t.”

“So your new dad is a good guy after all?”

“He’s the best”, Ace says with a conviction he feels down to his bones, and Luffy smiles right along with him. “I want you to meet him someday, Lu, you and your crew. I don’t think I can change your mind about who should be Pirate King–”

“Never.”

“–but you’ll like him. And you could meet my crew, too. And our flag ship looks like a whale. A big white one.”

“Really? That’s cool!”

“Right?!”

They laugh just as they used to whilst pretending to sleep at night, hushed and with their heads bowed close to each other as if to fit under the same blanket. It’s quiet for a while, afterwards, Ace listening to the lapping of the waves against wood and watching the cloudless sky go by and Luffy watching him.

Ace guesses he’s thinking of his inevitable departure tomorrow but there is little he can do about that. Even as his big brother, Ace can’t protect Luffy from everything in life.

The touch to his shoulder comes a bit sudden and Ace almost jumps, takes in the pensive look on Luffy’s face and then the careful motion of his finger as he traces heavy, inked lines: Gently, he writes A, then C, then E, and returns upwards to brush over the crossed-out S with his thumb.

“Do you think he’d be proud of us?”

Ace hums, glances down at the tattoo. It had been the first thing he’d gotten with his own money – paid with treasure, Sabo would’ve loved that – and it’s a little faded now but it still fills Ace with determination, to know Sabo is with him and his memory will continue to exist as long as Ace draws breath.

“Sabo? Yeah, I think so. He’d be happy we kept our deal and sailed out to sea.” Ace chuckles, rubbing his shoulder fondly. “Perhaps a little miffed that I’m definitely the oldest brother now but, well. What do you think?”

“Mhm, I think so too. And we’re free now, right? Just like we said.”

“Yeah. We are.”

Luffy huffs a laugh, leaning back against Merry and linking his arms behind his head like he doesn’t have a care in the world. No regrets, huh, Sabo? Ace’s chest feels warm with nostalgia and he makes himself comfortable, too, gazing towards the sea and imagining Sabo sailing ahead of them, eyes fixed on the horizon and his flag waving proudly in the wind.

We promised, after all.

#one piece #fanfiction #portgas d. ace #monkey d. luffy #one piece fanfiction #hi i love ace getting to be a big bro before inevitable doom strikes @ oda sue me #this fic is also on AO3!#my stuff

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jinfilms · 4 years ago

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@hobieshopie and @kimteahyung tagged me in this questionnaire style tag...thank u my loves i’m sorry i take so long (๑´ㅂ`๑) >

What do you prefer to be called name wise?

hannah but some people just say han

When is your birthday?

may 7

Where do you live?

north carolina mama yeehaw

Three things you are doing right now?

finally enjoying a day off after like. too long lolol

listening to drama by txt

i just finished my coffee and a cream cheese pastry...i miss them already

Four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

bts if that counts

haikyuu!! mmmm i just think i’d like it if i gave it another chance

red velvet bc i wanna get back into girl groups that still exist lol

kdrama community...it’s kinda hard bc i don’t like the way the female characters are often written to be honest, so i am open to suggestions :(

How is the pandemic treating you?

grocery store workers were considered essential (everything is open again in my town so there’s no difference in ‘essential’ and nonessential anymore lmao), so i never stopped working, i honestly can’t say a lot has changed which i’m thankful for :( i guess i could say that it made work more stressful but i don’t think i should complain

A song you can’t stop listening to right now?

moon dance by nu’est i can’t even explain it other than that song makes me feel like i’m in love dslkfsd i’m the least ‘hopeless romantic’ person i know irl so it’s actually a really foreign feeling but it’s nice 10/10 i recommend that song for ur future playlists

Recommend a movie?

shoplifters (2017) by hirokazu kore-eda just go into it blind i promise u it’s worth it

How old are you?

School, university, occupation, other?

i’m working atm and i’ll go back to school someday but due to Circumstances i chose to focus on other things

Do you prefer hot or cold?

strictly cold...i never finished a hot drink and i hate being hot bc my body retains a lot of heat anyway

Name one fact others may not know about you:

Are you shy?

uhh yes but i do what i have to to get around i don’t have social anxiety or anything

Do you have any preferred pronouns?

Any pet peeves?

when people listen to music without earbuds i could lit erally rip their head off... also when people burp and sneeze etc around me i’m sorry i know it’s natural idk what to tell u

also the fact that everything makes a noise... like even walking i don’t even wanna hear the sound of my own feet on the floor if i’ve got a headache again idk idk i just want some damn peace n quiet !

What’s your favorite “dere” type?

bambi

Rate you life 1-10;

-10 but we’re getting there

What’s your main blog?

uhh it used to be @gusdapperton but i don’t care about any of the old stuff i used to blog about there anymore... if ur reading this and listen to gus dapperton and want that url then send me an ask or smthn and i’ll give it to someone who will use it lol

List your side blogs and what they are used for:

@gusdapperton was my film and tv blog

@qirby was for anime and gaming stuff etc

those were my main two...i ran several networks and other blogs but i think i’m just going to archive like. everything and just focus on this blog bc i really care about a lot of my mutuals sjdlksjd it seems stupid to have had to many blogs but i can’t stand having all of my interests crammed into one dashboard it feels so messy and i don’t want to see everything all the time u know

despite everything i just said i saved @dreamchapter the other day just in case i wanted to make a txt/multi sideblog lolol

Is there anything you think people need to know about you before being friends with you?

uhh idk i’m really boring so lower ur expectations

for this i wanna tag @starlightstae @taechnological @eternalbulletproof @applejoon and @seokjjin no pressure tho ok? i hope u guys are doing well and safe in ur environments ♡

also @matchaminn tagged me in a really similar tag so i’ll answer the questions that weren’t on this one...bc i love u :(

sexuality

hogwarts house

hufflepuff

current time

2:24 pm / 14:24

favorite animal

cats

cats or dogs

always cats. i said what i said

dream job

i used to go to school for teaching and psychology but if i were to go back tomorrow i think i’d choose something like digital art and graphic design...i dunno i’m scared of turning my passion into a career though i know i could potentially get sick of it and want to stop

when i made this blog

january and i think the exact day was the 18th...literally 4 days after i found bts i made this blog lmao i didn’t even know their names but i was online when the black swan orchestra ver mv dropped and when i watched it i just Knew u know

reason for my url

agust d chefs kiss

anyways. i love u all thank u pls let me know if u are doing well from time to time i would like to know :( mwah

#💌#tag game #look @ me i put a little picture n everything #arent i so cool

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coyotesongwriting · 5 years ago

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When It Rains, It Pours - Ch. 12

Avengers - Bucky Barnes/Reader

Chapter 12 - Repercussions

Story Summary: Things are going great between you and Bucky, until one day they aren’t. He dumps you, not knowing that what you’d wanted to talk to him about was the positive pregnancy test you held behind your back.

Chapter Summary: Things with Bucky didn’t go too well, so now what are you supposed to do?

Author’s Note: Thank you guys for reading this, all mistakes are my own! TBH I feel like this isn’t one of my best chapters and I planned on fixing it a little before posting but I’m waiting on the results from a writing thing today and I’m way too nervous so sorry if it’s a little more rough around the edges

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters so don’t sue me please. I just really like them haha

Tag List (if you want to be added or removed let me know!): @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic @queenoftheunderdark @samsgoddess @redfoxwritesstuff @iheartsebastianstan @alexakeyloveloki @fookingmuffins @yasnooshka24 @redfoxwritesstuff @amazon-belle @shootingstarsaretearsofheaven @kinkywitchy @superwonderwholock @redhairedfeistynerd @paranoiadestroyah @cool-kids-cant-be-dead @sarcastic-and-cool

Previous Chapter

It had been two weeks since you’d learned the truth about why Bucky had broken your heart. You’d returned to Asgard with Thor, and had quickly fallen back into your routine. No one had seen hide nor hair of Loki, and you were more grateful than you knew how to say. Thor had told Sif and the Warriors Three what had happened, and they’d been doing their best to keep you distracted.

“Come on, [Y/N]. Stop being so distracted or I will actually hurt you” Sif said, leaning down to offer you a hand up. She’d thrown you over her shoulder and you’d landed, winded, on your back.

You mumbled an apology as she pulled you to your feet. You brushed the dirt off and got back into position but within a few minutes you were on your butt again and she was glaring down at you. You really were trying to pay attention, but your thoughts kept wandering back to Bucky.

“Alright, That’s it. We’re talking this out. What is making it so much worse today?” She asked arms crossed over her chest as she waited for you to answer.

“I’m sorry. Just… it’s been two weeks, Sif” you sighed

“I get it, but what’s so special about that?”

“On Midgard, in families who aren’t together, the kids tend to see the other parent at least every two weeks and I want to be fair to Bucky so I need to take her to see him but I don’t want to see him” you rushed out, frowning at her.

“Simple? Send her with Thor. That way, you don’t have to see him!” she shrugged.

“I can’t do that. He’s an Avenger and I’ve already put him in a bad spot with the others because he hid her and I don’t want to make it worse if I don’t have to. Besides, if something happens while they’re there, he’d have to sit out to watch her and that’s not fair to the others. So, I can’t just send Aspen with him”

“How long would you want her to spend with him?”

“I dunno? Eventually, I’d like him to see her for a weekend at a time but I’m not there yet so I think just a day trip would be good…”

“I’ll take her then, problem solved” Sif grinned at you.

You blinked slowly, “Wait, what?”

“It’s easy. I’ll go with Thor to Midgard and take Aspen, she can spend the day with her dad and I’ll make sure she’s safe if anything happens, and then we’ll come back. That way you don’t have to face him yet, she gets to see her dad, and I can meet more of your old team”

“Sif… thank you for the offer but I don’t know if I feel comfortable having Aspen off-world without me” you chewed your lip as you thought.

“Look [Y/N], I know you trust me, right? Hell, I was the first person you told that you were pregnant, so I know you do. You also trust me to watch your back in a fight and watch Aspen here. Unless something goes wrong, we’ll be with Thor and the Avengers the whole time, and if something does happen, well, we’ll come right back. I promise, I won’t let Aspen out of my sight for a moment”

For a long moment, you said nothing, your thoughts racing. Eventually, you nodded shooting her a grateful smile, “Thank you Sif. It would mean the world to me.”

She smirked, “I know. Now, can you please focus on training?”

~~~~~~

“Thor, Aspen, and a guest have arrived. They’re on their way up now” Friday’s voice echoed throughout the now empty living room.

Ever since the day you’d left, again, everyone had been on edge. Everyone was dancing around Bucky, trying to stay out of his way or cheer him up. Even Steve was worried about Bucky, he’d never seen that look of utter loss on his face before. Now that Bucky knew the truth, knew how he’d been played by Loki, he couldn’t stop wishing he could go back in time to undo what he’s said. The regret was eating away at him, and now that he knew about Aspen, it hurt him even more to not know when he’d see her again, so when Friday announced her arrival he was on his feet and waiting for the elevator doors to open.

When the elevator doors opened, Bucky took a slight step back when he realized you weren’t with them. He’d never expected you to let Aspen go anywhere without you. Even when he’d been on Asgard with her, you’d always had to know where he was or you started worrying. The fact that Aspen was here with someone else, reminded him just how bad he’d really screwed up.

Lady Sif was holding a wriggling Aspen against her side, her gaze studying the room quickly when the doors opened. Her eyes narrowed at the sight of Bucky so close to the elevator doors, but she’d promised to be nice to him, at least for Aspen’s sake. Even so, she stepped out of the elevator before Thor and brushed past Bucky to walk into the main lounge.

“I have a special delivery” she grinned and held up the wriggling Aspen, speaking to Nat and Clint, recognizing the duo from all the stories you had told her.

Nat smiled back and reached out to take Aspen, “Thank you…?” her voice trailed off, asking for a name.

“This is Lady Sif, and she graciously offered to help me keep an eye on Aspen today” Thor offered, standing next to her.

“Didn’t know you needed a babysitter” Tony smirked.

“[Y/N] was more worried about you guys than him” Sif responded with a playful shrug.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Clint muttered, sitting on the floor with Nat to play with Aspen. Bucky was still standing awkwardly by the elevator door, and Steve had to motion for him to get his butt over there before he moved.

“How’s she doing?” Bucky asked as he walked up to Thor.

Before Thor could respond, Sif stepped forward her voice determined as she spoke, “How she’s doing is none of your business, Bucky Barnes. You made your decisions, now deal with them. She asked me to bring Aspen for a day trip, so might I recommend spending time with your daughter instead of asking questions you have no right to?”

The room waited with bated breath to see how Bucky would take this stranger’s comments. Bucky’s hand tightened into a fist and Steve started to get to his feet, but just as soon as it started, Bucky released the fist. He brushed past her and joined Natasha and Clint on the floor with Aspen, and conversation slowly started back up.

As early afternoon rolled around, Aspen was ready for her nap. Bucky picked her up and began to head to his room, stopping when he saw Sif following him.

“Can I help you” he grumbled, trying to be polite and failing miserably.

“No. I promised I wouldn’t let Aspen out of my sight so..” she shrugged, and waited for him to get moving again.

“Does she really think I’d let anything happen to her?!” he asked Sif, his voice a mix of heavy desperation and anger.

Sif shook her head as Aspen shifted in her dad’s arms, “No, it’s not like that. She was worried you’d all get called away on a mission and if you need Thor, she wanted to make sure someone was around to take her home.”

Once Aspen was safely napping on the bed Tony had helped Bucky get for her in his room, Sif motioned for Bucky to join her in the hall. Curiously, he followed her and waited as she shut the door almost all the way behind her.

“Alright, look. She’d kill me if she found out about this, got it? But if everything works out, ya gotta tell her.” Sif started, and after Bucky nodded in agreement she continued, “Loki’s an asshole and we’ve all suffered at his pranks before. From what she and Thor have said of you, and what I saw today, you’re just another fool paying the price because of him. And if that’s the case, I want to help. She’s miserable without you, Bucky. But, before I decide if I’m going to help, I need you to convince me why you deserve another chance with [Y/N].”

Bucky stood in silence for a moment before he responded, voice cautious, “You really want to help?”

“Depends on if you convince me you’re what she needs.” Sif answered, “Tell me why I should help you get her back.”

“The truth is? You shouldn’t” Bucky sighed, “She’s right to be mad at me. I don’t blame her at all. She always told me how much she loved me and how much I meant to her. But she was avoiding me, and I let Loki get into my head. And then I convinced myself that she would be better off without me so I shouldn’t fight her on it. Which then turned into I should break up with her first so she wouldn’t feel guilty about it. I should have talked to her. If I could go back in time, I’d tell Loki to fuck off and go talk to her, tell her everything. It kills me to know everything I’ve missed out on with Aspen. Her first words, her first steps, all of that gone because Loki tricked me and I didn’t just talk to her.”

He took a breath before continuing, “Truth be told, she deserves someone who will be there for her when the going gets tough. Someone she can rely on and trust. Above all, someone who will listen to her and talk to her about stuff… I don’t deserve [Y/N]. I don’t deserve her soft hugs after a long mission, the way she can be utterly exhausted but always finds the energy to make sure everyone else is okay first, her gentle kisses when someone’s watching and the way she steals my breath when no one is. So, Sif, I can’t tell you why you should help me get her back. But I can say, if you do, I won’t keep things from her. I’ll do my best to make sure she’s happy and I won’t ever let her go”

Silence reigned over the hall for a few minutes before Sif made up her mind. She grabbed his hand and shook it, “I’ll help. But if you hurt one hair on her head ever again, you’ll pay with your life. Do you understand, Bucky?”

“What’s the plan” He asked, voice cautious.

“Just leave it to me. You keep your head low but when the time comes, you tell her what you just told me. And don’t forget, once everything has settled, you have to tell her about this or you’ve lied again and you’re on your own. I won’t help you again.”

Next Chapter ->

Find This Chapter On AO3

#bucky barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes #Winter Soldier x Reader #Winter Soldier #marvel the avengers #marvels the avengers #Marvel's The Avengers #Marvel #Avengers #The Avengers #Lady Sif #Thor

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master-sass-blast · 4 years ago

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Weekly Wrambles

...Hi.

(Yes, I know that’s not how you spell “rambles.” It’s for humor.)

So, uh, I know I’ve been pretty quiet for a while. That’s mostly due to needing to take time away from Tumblr so I can actually get things done, and also injuring my arm/shoulder/back when I my laptop’s ‘c’ key went out, forcing me to move to an external keyboard, which threw everything out of whack in my body -yeah.

I have a functioning laptop again, and it occurred to me that I should probably try to interact more with my followers here, generate some content, and practice talking about my projects instead of just posting them and then disappearing.

Bear with me. I’m very shy. (Putting the rest under a cut so it isn’t an assault on the dash.)

CHC Updates: The CHC is still going. I had to stop basically all writing and computer things when I hurt my arm -which was TORTURE--so I haven’t made near as much progress as I wanted. However, I’m still working on stockpiling fics on the weekends. Right now, I’m working on Children of the Gods Part Three, and I’ve got about... four (maybe idk I’m not gonna try and count right now) filler fics done, too.

Do you guys want update posts for word counts/how many fics I have stocked up? I might try doing something like that anyway, but I’m curious to know what y’all want to see.

E-Reader Stuff: I am going to try and make some E-Readers that I could put on Amazon for $2-$3 to earn some passive income. Dunno when I’ll fit writing them into my schedule but... yeah.

I think the ones I’ll start introducing first... are probably the Wild West Magic Using Cowboys/Cowgirls/Cowthems Steampunk thing, the Futuristic Steampunk Cruise Ships in the Sky Love Story that’s Sorta Ala Titantic but Not Tragic, and “DOLLS” (the only one I have a title for oops), which is a dystopian futuristic fic about beauty influencers/entertainers if it was a competitive “class” where they were filmed 24/7 for content... yeah.

A lot of my stories (fanfic, e-reader, or otherwise) are queer focused or inclusive. I’m working on educating myself so that they can be racially inclusive as well (but in a positive, respectful way, of course). If that appeals to you... cool.

(Idk what to say. Why was I made so awkward.)

Novel stuff: I’m also working on a novel series, of which the first book is called “Game On.” It’s kind of a fantasy/sci-fi fusion thing, or as I like to call it, “thinly veiled political/social commentary.” It’s got a main series that’s probably around eight to nine books and some sides series/spin-offs that focus on other prominent characters in the universe, too. I’ve actually got some art of the first main character/narrator (the main series is broken up into two mini parts that have two different narrators, don’t ask me why I did this to myself):

Her name’s Lola -and, yes, she has purple hair and silver eyes. This is because I designed her when I was fourteen, and, honestly? I stand by it. CHARACTER DESIGN SHOULD BE F U N!

She also has special powers.

I can already hear the Mary-Sue comments coming lol.

(She’s a “Glitch,” which --in the universe--means that she gains experience and abilities quickly and has some select abilities; in her case, that includes empathic abilities (her strongest ability) and abilities to make a basic “shield” around her body and fire some energy bolts from her hands (more “defensive” abilities, ala snakes having venom or hedgehogs having spikes).

Anywho. This is just me... trying to be less shy about my various projects. I normally don’t like to share things before they’re completely done because... it feels rude? Somehow? Like, I’m somehow promising a certain product, and then if I can’t deliver it in the time frame or to the scale I promised, that I failed?

I don’t know. But I do know that I want to share my stuff more. So here I am.

Yeah

Tagging my friends and CHC taglist for this to try and get a little traction on this. Want to be added or removed? Just DM me. (If I missed you, I’m sorry; I’m very tired lol.)

@chromecutie, @marvelhead17, @marvel-is-perfection, @leo-writer, @ginghampearlsnsweettea, @lolofangirl, @emma-frxst, @dandyqueen, @super-darkcloudstudent, @girl-obsessed-with-things, @sadstone-s, @rovvboat, @candle-light-writings

#sass speaks #sass writes #my art #my writing #my projects #trying to be brave #my ocs

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smellycinnamonthundahfudge · 5 years ago

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twas tagged by both @parallelmarvel and @tare8chan. i actually cant believe i was hhaha i’m aiming to be the legit writer worthy of this tag game other writers participated in. think u for thanking of meh 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Author Name: smellycinnamonthundahfudge on tumblr, AND JUST IN, I’M petertheparkerpus_mjmonogram ON AO3 YALLLSSSS. I FINALLY CAME THEEERREEE YYAAAYYYYY

Fandom You Write For: predominantly mcu’s spideychelle. (i also wrote tz stuff back then heh). but, i have also written (but not posted) for hiccstrid, got, darejones, simmosa, incredibles 2, and bughead hahaha.

Where You Post: i started on tumblr, so literally all of the works i wanted to share are on here. buuttt, like i said, I JUST GOT AN AO3 ACCOUNT YALLSSS. i’ve posted my first pj fics on there for now, but i havent posted em all yet so i am now beginning the process of importing em. im excited :’’’)))

Most Popular One-Shot: Take Flight (peter & mj’s flight home from the ffh trip, click for a nervous jelly peter hehehe)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: hhmmm, ok, so i’m not even sure if it classifies as a multi-chapter haha but i think so cus i wrote them as a continuous story in mind haha. i posted the “chapters” separately but i like to imagine it was just one story, Safehouse Sleepovers (consists of Safehouse, Safehouse Singalongs, and Hot chocolate). it’s my only multi-chapter story (not even sure if it classifies as one haha) so de facto most popular one hahaha. oh and it’s essentially a canon compliant post ffh fic bout pj bonding in the parkers’ safehouse hehe. (oh but i guess maybe the newly named airports could also be considered multi-chapter, is 2 chaps enough to call it that? haha so dunno maybe i take back the only mc story thing haha. it’s still the more popular one tho cus airports i wrote before ffh even came out haha)

Favorite Story You Wrote: oof this is a hard one... ooohhh, i feeelll like i gotta, just gotta go with 5 + 1 gifts and Just Breathe cus they’re just so precious 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 but tbh i luv all of em. just as whole fics, they seem better to me haha

Story You Were Nervous to Post: ALL BRUHHH i mean im just not that confident with my works yet haha. buttt the one i was rlly the most nervous about was Home for the Holidays cus it was my first time writing with an actual person in mind to write it for haha. plus, it was the first fic i wrote after pj month so oof gods was i rusty by the time i wrote it hahaha haaysst. i think it was ok enough tho. plus they said it was good so yay. im just glad i actually did it haha.

How Do You Choose Your Titles: eh just whatevs i feel is catchy and is a good concise nice indicator of the plot heh. hhmm i feel like i usually come up with titles during the brainstorming process for the fic, like before actually writing it or while writing it.

How Many of Your Stories Are:

Complete: if im counting the “chapters” i mentioned earlier as one story each, then probs round 24. i say probs cus there’s some fics i wrote somewhere, where i feel like i finished em but i dont have access to them currently so im not 100 if it’s complete by my standards or nah haha

In-Progress: hhhhmmm im not sure if it’s write to call these in-progress. i’d rather call em unfinished, like i have 16 unfinished stories, or just written out story outlines. im not sure if i should call em in progress cus im not sure if i even still rlly plan to finish em, yknow? haha like they really are genuinely fun interesting n creative story ideas n plans thus far, i feel. but i just- lazy, yknow? haha i have to build up to writing a story for A LOONGG TIME haha

Coming Soon: hehehehe. technically it’s completed already, all i have to do is just make the post on tumblr hehe (as of the moment i wrote this post). im so excited for yalls to read The Bathroom hihihi <333

Upcoming Story You’re Most Excited to Write: oofff im not even sure if im actually gonna wind up writing these buuuut, dancing pj still seems so cute n pure n fun. and also, in addition to the countless other aus my annoying brain came up with on pj month, my brain annoyingly got even more fic ideas rolling around it now:

a moulin rouge au (peter’s the famous singer/dancer known as the spider-man who attracts men and women alike in the famous moulin rouge run by liz toomes with a gallery of other colorful rogues, heroes, villains, and just other sorts of attractive characters based on the comicbooks of old. mj is a young new budding writer looking to gain world experience to write about. she winds up in the moulin rouge, meets the infamous spider-man and gets to know the kind man behind the alluring and mysterious mask. im imagining tom’s lsb, laura’s hollywood, and z’s halloween euphoria ep costume for the aesthetic im going for haha. im still torn on whether to keep the og ending or not hahahaha)

maybe a friends with benefits fic. where it’s not so angsty or full of drama. and genuinely just keeping it cool and chill til they inevitably just decide to actually get together/stay friends. it’s all up in the air and they’ll figure it out when they figure it out.

producers inspired, roommates au. the kdrama did the trope well and it made me want to see it applied to my two dorks 🥺🥺🥺🥺

lastly, a first time fic for our two dorky virgins hahaha. i kinda like the idea of them planning out their first time to the most minute of details and just the actual process of figuring out what they want to do n stuff haha just seems real cute to me 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

Do You Accept Prompts: hahahhaha look, i’m never one to say no ok? i mean, if i just straight up say no, im possibly saying no to potential ideas that are so inspiring i wind up writing it immediately. so yes, i’d like to say im willing to accept prompts. however, there is absolutely no guaranteed follow up and for that i’m sorry. i can just never know how i’ll react to an idea so there ya go. that’s my honest response haha.

im taggin the fic writers ive read over the years that havent been tagged by the ones that tagged me. hold my juice box. @spideymjlove @jediparkers @itsjacobperalta @thatsnicebutimmarried @bookishandbossy @thefudge @galaxy-parker @spideychelle-romanogers @spiders-n @petty-parker @smalltreenergy @dead-end-street @softboyholland @mamgt @justanotherfangirlpassingthrough @machiavelien @peterjonesparker @blaisezabini @thegreenwomanswalkman @crazy4dragons @dragonydreams @attachedtomybookshelf @haddocksortails @dyannehs @funkytoes @jenni41 @rebelcaptaindaily @starxdust22 no presh obvi. just thought dis might peak yalls interest. thanks for all that you’ve writtteeennnn 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 🥺🥺🥺🥺 (btw some of yalls might have just written hcs for all i know, i literally dunno anymore, but like i said iz nbd. just also wanted to give my thanks since im not entirely sure i was able to do so before)

#important #jazzessments

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enbyboiwonder · 5 years ago

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Tagged by @frozenmemories1987

So I don’t really understand how this one works, so I’m just gonna answer all the questions and number them consecutively. Upfront I’m gonna say that I’m not tagging anyone, but as always, if you wish to do it, consider yourself tagged. Also, this is going under a read more. Save the thumbs of any mobile users

01. What was the last movie you watched in theaters?

It’s been months, so I can’t remember, sorry

02. What’s your favorite game to play?

Currently it’s Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker 2. I hadn’t played it since I got it (and beat it all in one go), and I forgot just how much I love this game. It’s like Pokémon meets Dragon Quest, and it’s amazing. On the one hand, making a team entirely of dragons might be a bad idea, but on the other hand, I freaking love dragons. I should probably synth one with a healing skillset if I’m gonna do that - possibly Cure-all since that’s got Multiheal. My current party is a Lv 20 great argon lizard named Rory, a Lv 24 slime stack with Cure-all named Sticker, and a Lv 19 aquestrian gladiator with Huntsman named Mizuno. When I leave them to their own devices, Mizuno really loves using Penny Pincher, which tbh I cannot fault him for - normal damage plus the chance to pinch a few gold coins? Heck yes. At least he’s got 44 MP, so I haven’t had to change his tactics to “Don’t Use Magic” yet (the skill costs 2 MP)

03. Chocolate or vanilla?

Chocolate

04. What’s the last show you binge-watched?

NUMB3RS (though I’m still working on that one)

05. Do you have any pets?

06. What’s your favorite fairy tale?

I dunno. I don’t actually read very many fairy tales

07. Who’s your favorite superhero?

Superhero stuff doesn’t normally appeal to me, but I do like Cisco Ramon/Vibe and Ray Palmer/The Atom from CW’s Arrowverse

08. Who’s your favorite Disney princess?

Erm, Rapunzel, I guess?

09. Where’s the first place you’re going to go after social distancing is over?

I know I’m gonna hang out with my friend like we were planning to before this started, but as for where... probably Barnes & Noble since that’s where we usually go, but who knows (I say, knowing full well that neither of us know where to go, and we go to HPB when we’re specifically looking for a book but default to B&N bc of the café and seating area)

10. Cookies or cake?

11. What show could you watch over and over?

Monk, CSI, and Psych, to name a few

12. Favorite song lyric?

See, I have to believe that there’s more than this seems More than a soul in a boat in a sea of sinking dreams And I have to be sure that there’s gonna be a cure ‘Cause, somewhere down the line, I lost that part of me that’s pure

- Where We Belong by Thriving Ivory

13. Favorite season of your favorite TV show?

S14 of CSI, probably

14. What never fails to make you smile/happy?

Seeing I’ve got a comment on AO3

15. How are you doing with all that’s going on in the world (coronavirus, having to do social distancing, etc.)?

My lifestyle hasn’t changed at all, though for some reason I’ve actually been getting way more crocheting and video-gaming done than usual (at the expense, of course, of less reading and writing and TV-watching. Unfortunately). But we have lost business at the doughnut shop so I haven’t been working as many days - usually I work Monday and Friday - which, on the one hand, less money, but on the other hand, I’ve gotten more rest so my bruised ribs (from coughing; I had strep about a month and a half ago, and that always leaves me with a cough for a while, though it’s never been this bad before) are mostly healed now

16. We all love new music to listen to. Name an artist that is underrated/you think people should check out:

Thriving Ivory/Midnight Cinema (same band, different songwriters; Thriving Ivory is more piano-driven and leans more toward alt/alt-rock, while Midnight Cinema is more pop)

17. TV shows or movies?

TV shows

18. Favorite holiday?

Halloween

19. A song that describes you:

I’ve always related to Some Kind of Home by Thriving Ivory

20. Describe your tumblr in three words:

“hella queer animal-lover” idk

21. What’s your favorite hobby?

It depends on my mood, but rn it’s crocheting!

22. What’s your favorite book and/or a really good book you’ve read recently?

CSI: Miami: Cut and Run by Donn Cortez is amazing. I read it back in January and then reread it this month. Probably will be rereading it again before long tbh

Another really good one I’ve read recently is How Rory Thorne Destroyed the Multiverse by K. Eason. It just came out like six months ago, so the second one won’t be out any time soon, but I am ready for it when it does (more than ready, actually; I can’t wait)

23. What’s your favorite ship that will never happen (or hasn’t happened yet)?

I really wish they had done something with Greg/Hodges. I mean, they had the perfect setup for it in 11.07 Bump and Grind, what with their “man-dates” (that never get mentioned again)!! Their man-dates become a regular thing that they do like every week or whatever, eventually they realize that they’re actual dates and have been for a while and they start consciously dating. Maybe Greg already knows he’s bi and is totally cool with it, maybe David’s been repressed and realizes that, oh, that’s why something’s always seemed like it was missing when he tried dating before: he’s gay.

Unsurprisingly, I have a few 11.07 fics in my WIPs

(But also, considering CSI’s track record with respecting queer people [poor], I’m kinda glad they didn’t. Woulda been nice, though, long as they'da done it right)

A ship that I’m really hoping will happen is Penelope and Schneider from One Day at a Time. I love them so much

24. If you could spend the day with any living celebrity, who would it be?

I would rather meet a celebrity in passing than spend a day with them. I am far too awkward and anxious, and I’m afraid it would not be an enjoyable experience for either of us

25. The best worst movie you’ve ever seen - a movie that you know objectively is trash but you can’t help but really enjoy it:

I don’t think I have any like this

26. When you read, do you prefer an eReader or an actual, physical book?

Paper books all the way, baby

27. Favorite movie?

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, probably

28. What does a normal day look like for you?

I stay in bed reading or playing games on my phone (or, more recently, on my DS) for as long as possible, dick around on here for a while whilst also trying to get at least some SwagBucks in another window, try not to forget to eat lunch, play the free money apps I have on my phone while either listening to music on my laptop or watching shows either on my laptop or the TV, try not to forget to eat dinner, watch some more TV or get some reading or gaming in, try not to stay up too late, take over an hour to fall asleep, maybe if I’m lucky get some writing done at some point during any of this (and if I’m really lucky it won’t be while I’m trying to sleep, but usually it is, damn brain)

29. Have you ever watched a show/movie for one character? If so, who?

Normally when I watch something specifically for someone, it’s for an actor I like, but I started watching CW’s The Flash specifically for Cisco Ramon (well, and Harry Wells and their relationship, but mostly Cisco) and Legends of Tomorrow specifically for Ray Palmer, whom I fell in love with in his ep on The Flash lol

30. What is your ultimate concert (musicians/bands from any period, alive or dead)?

I don’t go to concerts (they seem like they’d be very overwhelming), so, none, I guess

31. Book that you were forced to read in school that you hated the most:

God, I fucking hated To Kill a Mockingbird. Actually, I think the only one I actually liked was The Importance of Being Earnest

#mine #thx for tagging me!

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coffee-obsessed-writer · 6 years ago

Text

Missing Her - Part 3

Dean x Reader

Dean x Reader; Sam Winchester, Ellen Harvelle, Jo Harvelle, Jim (OMC), Ollie (OFC)

Series Summary: Dean is on the verge of going to Hell, and Sam is reaching out to an old friend who he thinks holds the key that could change Dean’s future. When they get reunited, a long kept secret comes out, that can’t stop him from going to Hell, but it changes everything for him when he returns. Seeking out the woman he loves and getting back what he lost, while still managing to stop Lillith from breaking the seals may be more difficult than he thinks.

Part One | Part Two

Warnings: Language, Canon Divergence, mild violence

Words: 6.9K

Everything Tags: @sorenmarie87 // @lefthologramdeer // @rockyhorrorpictureshowstyle // @his-paradox// @letsby

SUPERNATURAL TAGS: @wings-of-a-raven // @kazosa // @negans-wife // @grace-for-sale // @geeksareunique // @tiquismiquis // @mrsbarnes-rogers // @teller258316 // @spnhollis // @sweet-things-4-life // @hobby27 // @sweetlythoughtfulbird // @theoriginalvicki // @dreamchester67 // @xxwarhawk // @babykalika2001 // @superwhovianfangirl81 // @toobusynerdfighting // @missihart23 // @crowleysreigningqueenofhell // @idreamofplaid // @thewinchesterchronicles // @wayward-gypsy // @closetspngirl // @fatestemptress // @rebelminxy // @22sarah08 // @witch-of-letters// @cole-winchester // @rainflowermoon // @adoptdontshoppets // @foreverwayward // @waywardvalkyrie // @fandomoniumflurry // @gnrfanfic // @blackcherrywhiskey // @jessieray98 // @lyoly // @a–1–1–3 // @31shadesofbrown // @whereismyangel-damnitdeanshare // @pilaxia // @flamencodiva // @screechingartisancashbailiff // @kgbrenner // @holylulusworld // @deansenwackles // @jamielea81

Dean crouched in front of Ollie, meeting her curious green eyes with his own. They examined each other for a moment, and it wasn’t until Ollie smiled, did you realize you were holding your breath. He held out his hand in greeting, his lips formed into a crooked grin also very similar to hers.

“Hi,” he said and shook her little hand gingerly. “I’m Dean. I’m—uh—an old friend of your moms.”

“Hi,” she replied shyly, and looked over at you unsure of what to do or say next. You nodded slightly, trying to encourage her with just the look. Ollie understood and turned back to him. “Nice to meet you.”

“Your mom told me a lot about you. I’m really excited that I finally get to meet you,” he said, releasing her hand and standing back up. He glanced at you before looking over at Jim who was quietly seething beneath the surface. Ignoring him, his attention went back to Ollie whose head was tilted to one side taking him.

You knew that look on her face all too well. She was trying to figure out what to make of him, but with Jim hovering, she instinctively knew better than to show too much interest.

“It was nice to meet you, too. I should go get my books, we have to get to the library.”

“Yeah, we really should get a move on, honey,” Jim encouraged in his best happy-dad voice, fooling no one, but Ollie.

“Hey, uh, maybe Dean could help you find them. I need to talk to dad for a second, anyway.” You turned your gaze to Dean. “They may be on the top shelf of her closet, and she can’t reach. Do you mind?”

“No,” he replied quickly and looked to Ollie. “Is that okay?”

She shrugged and nodded.

You smiled your best happy-mommy smile and sweetly pinched on her cheek. “Thanks, kiddo.”

“I’m great at hunting things down,” Dean teased, catching your eye roll and smirk from the corner of his eye. “Come on kiddo, lead the way. Let’s go find your books.”

Dean drew in a shaky breath as he followed Ollie up the steps. It wasn’t like he didn’t imagine this moment; he had many, many times ever since (Y/N) told him about her before he went to Hell. Now that it was here though, he felt more nervous than he ever did facing any monster or situation, including Hell.

Most nights, he would try to imagine different scenarios in which he would be face-to-face with her, and each one ended with something he never thought he’d get… a hug from his kid. He wondered about her constantly—what did she like to eat, what shows did she like, what was her favorite book, did she like cars or rock music? It was a constant stream of consciousness that he didn’t have any answers to, until now.

Though he’d been at (Y/N)’s house since last night, he never thought to go in and look around Ollie’s room. When he followed her in there and saw the décor, he knew, without a doubt, that Ollie was very much his daughter.

The room was tidy, and if he didn’t already know, he never would have thought it was a little girl’s room. It was painted a light gray with pale blue accents. Along the walls, instead of princesses, makeup and dolls were posters of dragons, superheroes and video game characters. There were assembled Lego sets that adorned the book shelves and a large plastic set of drawers that had stickers of the small building blocks all over it.

“You’re a fan of Legos, huh?” he asked, his eyes trying to take it all in.

“I love them. That’s why my dad and I have to get to the library. Two Saturdays a month is Lego club and today I am building the plans I drew up.”

“Whoa, you made your own plans? What did you make?” he asked as she opened the closet door for him.

“I made blueprints to build my own Batmobile,” she shrugged, as if it was no big deal. “Those dummies Troy and Scott said I couldn’t do it. So, I did it to prove I could.”

Internally Dean was screaming with excitement, joy, pride and a whole other host of emotions. Externally he simply nodded in satisfaction and resisted the urge to praise her with ‘That’s my girl’.

“I bet your Batmobile is gonna blow them away. You know, I happen to know a lot about cars. So, if you need any advice, feel free to ask,” he said and reached up to the top shelf of her closet, grabbing the small stack of books. “These the ones?”

“Yup,” she said, taking them from him. “Thanks!”

“So, you like superheroes too, I see,” Dean said, gesturing towards all the posters. “Who’s your favorite?”

From her expression, Dean could see Ollie considered this a very serious question. “I dunno. I like Batman, a lot.”

“Batman, huh?”

“Yeah. Why? You don’t like Batman?” her small features wrinkled into a disbelieving expression.

“No! I love Batman. I actually think he’s the coolest. I mean, he’s got a great car, right?”

“Yup!” She bounced over to her desk and opened the top drawer. Returning to Dean she handed him a piece of paper. “That was my first drawing of the Lego Batmobile. Its not great, but it was a try. Mom says you gotta keep practicing.”

Dean took the paper, examining her petite handwriting and smiled when he saw a little heart over the “i” in Batmobile at the top of the page. The moment he was having with her was so easy going, and he never wanted it to end. At the same time, there was a part of him that felt anxious and unsure. He thought about the years he’d missed; the ones (Y/N) raised her, alone and then with Jim. There was so much he wasn’t there for; so many things about her he didn’t know.

Dean wanted to, more than anything. He decided right there that he would do anything to keep that little girl in his life.

He could feel her staring at him, so he smiled and handed her back the paper. “Your mom is pretty smart.”

“Sometimes,” she shrugged again, taking the paper and returning it to the drawer. “She just likes to nag me about eating healthy stuff.”

Dean couldn’t help but laugh. “You know, I have a brother, and he does the same thing to me.”

Ollie just rolled her eyes dramatically and shook her head. “Ugh, family,” she groaned.

She gathered up her books and headed towards the door. Dean took her lead and just as he was about to turn off the light and close the door, he paused and took another look into his daughter’s room. He could feel his heart rate start to increase, and a swell of stuff he didn’t want to be feeling as he headed back down to where Jim was.

He didn’t want Jim to catch him off guard, and he certainly wasn’t going to let him ruin his chances of getting to know Ollie.

When they were clear of the room, you turned to Jim who looked as if he may blow. His face was bright red, and the vein engorged in his neck. “You must be so fucking happy now, huh?”

“Jim. Stop. I told you this could happen.”

“Not like this.”

You crossed your arms over your chest and felt the defensive anger rising. “I didn’t invite you over. You certainly didn’t call first.”

“Olivia needed her books, (Y/N). I didn’t realize I needed to call first. I certainly never thought you’d have him here, and to spend the night no less. Real nice, by the way.” The bite in his words felt as if he spit in your face. Angry and resentful, that’s how he turned anytime Dean’s name came up in the years since you met him.

“What makes you think he spent the night?” you challenged.

“Please. It’s early enough. No way he just arrived, and you happened to have all this food cooked. I’m not stupid. Naïve, yes. But not stupid.”

“Naïve? Ha! You’re not naïve, Jim. You always know exactly what you’re doing and what’s going on. Look, I don’t wanna fight. I wanted to talk to you about changing weekends. Since he’s here, I want her to—”

His cell phone started ringing and he held up a finger to stop you. “It’s work. Hold on.”

The imperfectly perfect timed phone call gave him an out to leave the room to talk to his assistant, but also time to come up with an excuse as to why he wouldn’t switch weekends with you. You could hear bits and pieces of his conversation, but even in fragments you could tell he wasn’t happy.

“…fix it! I’ll be there shortly,” he barked as he walked back into the kitchen, furiously hitting the end call button and shoving the phone back into his interior coat pocket.

“Everything alright?” you asked, knowing it wasn’t. But goading him was something you couldn’t pass up when he was behaving like an idiot.

“Peachy,” he growled. “You get your wish, we can switch. I have to head into the office and I won’t be back until late.” The resignation on his face gave him a seasick appearance and giving you a smug sense of satisfaction. Sometimes it was hard to look at him and imagine that you once loved him enough to marry him.

You went to say something but froze when Jim took two hulking steps towards you, positioning himself directly in front of you and his finger in your face.

“I swear to God, (Y/N), he’s NOT to stay here while Ollie is in the house. If I find out that he did—”

“Whoa, everything alright in here?” Dean asked from the doorway to the kitchen.

Jim immediately backed off and pulled his lips into a tight, thin line. Like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, he turned to face Ollie, a sudden, wide grin across his face. “Everything’s fine. Just bummed I can’t take you to the library after all, honey. I’m sorry.”

Ollie’s face fell. “Why?” she whined, her bottom lip starting to pout. “We’re gonna miss Lego club!”

“I know, honey, I’m sorry.”

“Ollie, we can still go. I’ll take you.”

“You won’t be ready in time! We have to be there soon and you aren’t even dressed. It’ll take you forever to be ready.”

Dean couldn’t help but snort a laugh then reeled it in when he saw your expression. “Well, how about I take you and your mom can meet us there when she’s ready. This way you aren’t late. Is that alright?”

Jim was about to answer, but Ollie’s face perked up, elated at the idea. “Yes! Can he, mommy, pleeeease?” Her little hands were clasped together in hope and when you agreed, she pumped her fist into the air as she leapt from the stool.

“Well, I don—” Jim started but stopped when Olivia hugged him, completely oblivious to his objections. “Bye daddy! Have fun at work, I’ll let you know how it goes!” She released him and turned to Dean. “Come on! We gotta go now or Troy and Scott will get the best set of Legos! I’m gonna get my shoes on. Come on, Dean!”

The vein in Jim’s neck looked dangerously close to erupting, but he managed to hold himself together. The energy in the kitchen was heavy and tense. Dean glared at Jim with a satisfied smirk before he walked over towards you and rested his hand against the small of your back.

“You sure?”

“Yes, its fine. She’ll tell you how to get there, its only a few blocks away. I’ll meet up with you soon. Just need to shower quickly and get dressed.”

He nodded and leaned down to kiss you, despite feeling the daggers Jim was throwing at him from across the room. “I’ll text you when we get there.”

“Have fun, okay? I’ll see you soon.”

Dean went to leave the kitchen and you thought he would just breeze through, knowing that Ollie was waiting for him. Instead, he paused in front of Jim, and when he turned to face him, Dean seemed to realize then just how much bigger your ex-husband was. Unphased by his looming presence, Dean boldly stuck out his hand to Jim and smiled.

“We haven’t officially met. Dean Winchester,” he said, a look of slight amusement on his face. Without saying a word or shaking his hand, Jim pushed past Dean and left the kitchen. He mumbled something to Ollie who was waiting by the front door before you heard the screen slam against the frame. “Nice guy.”

“Yeah, he’s the best,” you said flatly and exhaled the nervous energy that had been building.

“You wanna tell me what I walked in on before?”

“Dean! Come on!” Ollie called from the foyer.

“Later. Go… take your daughter to the library,” you said and pursed your lips into a satisfied smile. “I’ll catch up shortly.”

A trifecta of thoughts and emotions played out across his expression in a matter of seconds. “My daughter,” he mused quietly, biting on his lower lip. He winked at you before leaving to grab his shoes and leave for the library with Ollie.

It wasn’t more than thirty minutes later that you arrived at the library. After a very brisk shower and a quick clean up of the kitchen, you drove the three blocks to the local library and parked along the curb right behind Dean’s car.

Seeing it there still caught you by surprise. Just having Dean around again had been enough to spin you out, but the way he came back… fully and with love in his eyes, made it easier to handle the idea of him in your life again.

Once you made your way inside the library’s all-purpose room, you caught sight of Dean and Ollie sitting at a table in the corner of the room. Their heads were both intently staring at the table and sorting through the Lego pieces. You noticed they were both deeply buried in concentration, Ollie’s tongue peaking out of the corner of her mouth, and Dean biting down on his lower lip. The resemblance they shared was striking, both in physical features and mannerisms.

Seeing them sitting so close together like that for the first time, made your eyes wet. It wasn’t a sight you thought would ever be seen. Dean and Ollie, together… a dull ache grew in your chest, but it was warming and not empty. In fact, for the first time in a very, very long time, you felt nearly complete.

“Hey guys,” you said with a big smile on your face, as you sat at the table. “How’s the Batmobile?”

“Oh, we scrapped that, mom,” Ollie replied casually as she moved the black Lego pieces around the table.

“How come? Your blueprints were awesome!”

“Have you seen Dean’s car?! Its so cool! I wanted to make that instead!”

Shocked, you looked over at Dean whose face was downright beaming with pride. His eyes were soft with the love a father should have for his daughter, and he just shrugged. “Who am I to say no to that?”

“I think that’s pretty damn cool,” you said and leaned over to kiss Ollie’s hand.

“Mooom, stop. Troy and Scott are watching!” She jerked her head away and gave a hesitated, yet quick glance over to where her rivals sat. You stifled a laugh as she narrowed her eyes at them, trying to look threatening.

“Oh, sorry…” you apologized and held up your hands. “I’m going to go see when sign ups are for the next session and leave you guys to it.”

“Good idea,” Dean said, with his most serious face. “The little lady and I have some major work to do.”

You caught his gaze as you stood up and found that you were still able to have a silent conversation with him just through expression.

You alright?

Of course, I got this.

He winked, and you left them to their business.

“Well?” he asked tentatively.

Ollie narrowed her eyes and examined every inch of their Lego car and put it back on the table. She met Dean’s gaze and smiled.

“It’s perfect.”

A satisfied smirk graced her small features. Dean registered it as his favorite expression he’d seen from her, yet. He was trying to take note of every little thing he could, unsure if this would be his only day with her. Though he already knew he’d fight like hell to make sure it wasn’t.

“You sure? We have time for improvements.”

“Nope. Its good. I don’t even care if we win, I think it’s awesome,” she replied with awe.

Dean leaned back in the chair and just watched his daughter; he was completely enamored and was beginning to understand why parents would go to any lengths for their children. Dean knew he would do anything for Ollie. Whatever it took to make her safe and happy; he would do it without question or hesitation.

He felt someone watching and looked up, skimming the space and finding (Y/N) standing in the doorway, just watching them. She was leaning against the door frame, with one foot kicked over the other and her hands clasped together. Her head was rested lazily against the frame as she gazed at them dreamily.

Dean’s lips twitched a quick smile when she mouthed the word ‘hi’ to him. He didn’t reply, but he was hit with a blast of memories, old feelings, and some new ones. So much had changed in twenty-four hours, he was having trouble believing it was all real. He should be with Sam chasing Lilith, stopping her from breaking the seals. And he would be, soon. This time was too precious to pass up, and even the angels would have to understand. One day off the mission wasn’t going to break the world, and if it did, it was worth it. Getting to spend the day with his daughter and the love of his life was worth pretty much anything.

Dean pried his eyes from (Y/N) and brought them back to Ollie. He didn’t realize that she was watching him, watch her mom. She looked back and forth between them, then settled her gaze on Dean.

“Do you like my mom?” she asked casually.

“I do.” Dean’s voice stayed steady, but inside he was a bundle of nervous swimming in uncharted territory.

“Will you be nice to her?”

“Absolutely. The nicest. I love your mom a lot, Ollie,” he said and really held her gaze. The way her green eyes watched him, made him feel a real connection with her for the first time.

After a minute or two, she came to a conclusion. “Ok. You can date her.” Ollie paused and glanced over at her mom who was now talking to one of the other moms. “’Cause I think she likes you too.”

Dean felt a flutter of boyish nerves rumble in his stomach. “Oh yeah? What makes you say that?”

“She never lets boys sleep over. Not since daddy left. She let you sleep over, and she let you take me for a ride without her. That’s neeever happened before. Not even with her friends from work. Well, except Auntie El. I can go anywhere with her.”

“That’s right, I forgot you know Ellen,” Dean mused, still partially shocked at everything that was happening. “I haven’t seen her in a long time. How is she?”

“You know Auntie El?” Ollie exclaimed, so excited she nearly jumped out of her seat.

Dean laughed. “I do. Very well, actually.”

“I love Auntie El, and Jo. Mommy and Jo used to hang out a lot together and play darts. Auntie El and I used to watch them and make bets with candy on who would win.”

“Let me guess, Jo?”

Ollie giggled and shook her head. “Nope. My mom is awesome at darts. Jo used to get so mad!” She put a hand over her mouth and snickered.

“Well, maybe I can convince your mom to take a road trip there soon to visit. Would you like that?”

“Hell yeah!�� she replied, causing Dean to choke on his laugh.

“Are you allowed to say that?”

“Mom says language and sarcasm in moderation,” she admitted with a shrug.

“I said it before, I’ll say it again. You got yourself one smart mom.”

Before Ollie could respond, time on the building part was called and Mrs. Pixley, the librarian in charge of the club, went from table to table examining the work done by the kids and their parents. When she reached Ollie and Dean’s table, she was slightly taken aback to see someone unfamiliar sitting there.

“Hello Olivia, who is this you have with you today?”

“This is Dean,” she said, and clapped his shoulder amicably, “he’s my mommy’s special friend.” She gave the woman an over-zealous, animated wink.

Dean blushed and laughed nervously. “Kids? You know?” He cleared his throat when he saw she either didn’t know, or just had no sense of humor about it. “Nice to meet you,” he said and held out a hand.

She shook it and gave him a polite smile as she quickly retracted her hand. “Yes, nice to meet you,” she said flatly, then turned back to Ollie. “Where’s your dad today? I do so enjoy chatting with him.”

“He had to work, and my mom wasn’t ready, so Dean brought me. We made a way better project then the Batmobile.” She picked up the car and handed it to Mrs. Pixley.

“Oh, well, isn’t this fine work. You’re very creative, Olivia.”

“Thanks! It was so much fun!”

“Well, that’s what really matters, isn’t it?” Mrs. Pixley asked with a fake smile as she put down the creation.

Dean didn’t like her one bit. There was something off about her and though he couldn’t put his finger on it, the simple fact that she liked talking to Jim was enough to raise a red flag.

Mrs. Pixley walked away back towards her desk to decide the winner of the build competition. It took her only a few minutes to come back and call everyone’s attention to the middle of the room.

“Everyone did such a spectacular job, and it made it very difficult to pick one winner. Everyone will be able to pick a prize from the treasure chest because of the hard work, dedication and concentration you have put into what you created. Our overall winner will also win a gift card to the Sky Zone Trampoline park. That winner is, Troy for his model of the Batmobile!”

Dean’s heart sank for Ollie, who looked like she had just been knocked over. Her face fell immediately, and she cast her eyes to the floor. He looked up for (Y/N) who was starting to approach after hearing that Ollie didn’t win. Dean waved her off and gave her another wordless answer, I got this.

“Hey,” he said, slapping his palm to his knee, “so what if Troy won. You built a damn cool car.”

Ollie looked up and Dean was surprised to see the girl wasn’t about to cry. Instead, he found steel in her gaze and frustration in her body language.

“Oh, I know. Our car was the best. I’m mad because Mrs. Pixley wasn’t fair.”

“How so?”

She shrugged. “If dad was here, I would have won because she likes him. Always making those eyes at him, like you do with mommy.”

Dean snorted a laugh. “Gotcha. Well, we could lodge a complaint. We gotta find the library board, go straight to the top! The President of the library, if we have too,” he teased.

Ollie laughed and it light up her entire face, right along with Dean’s heart. How was it possible to love someone that much in such little time?

“Hey, so do we get to keep these?” he asked, picking up the car.

Ollie nodded.

“Awesome. Can I keep it? I’d love to have this with me when I’m on the road. Something to remember you by.”

“Sure,” she said, “you can keep it. I’m gonna build another one when I get home. Then we’ll having matching Lego cars! I got some improvements in mind.”

“Kid, that’s the best idea I’ve heard in forever.”

Dean got Ollie settled in the back seat and met up with you at the trunk of his car. It was the first moment you had alone with him since Jim and Ollie showed up at the house that morning. You were still getting used to the idea of him being around and being around Ollie most of all.

“Hey,” you said, and smiled when he immediately reached out and pulled you into a huge. “You alright there, big guy?”

“Holy shit, kids are…” he exhaled deeply and kissed the top of your head. “What a morning.”

“You ain’t kidding. I wanted you to meet her, but that was… I don’t even know. I’m sorry Jim was an asshole.”

“Yeah, what was that about? I get the guy doesn’t like me, but in front of her?”

“I think he wanted to mark his territory,” you shrugged.

Dean’s face wrinkled in disgust. “Oh, ewe, why?”

“Sorry,” you laughed and reached up to kiss him. “Forgive me?”

“Mhm, you’re lucky you’re cute, you know that?”

“I do. You know what else, though? We never did get to eat that big ass breakfast, and I’m starving. Feel like going for lunch?”

“Yeah, absolutely. I can definitely eat.”

“Good. So, before we get in there, how did it go with Ollie?”

“(Y/N), she is an amazing kid. I was in constant awe of her.”

“I am too. She’s pretty great.”

“You both are,” he said, softer now. This time he bent down to kiss you, letting his lips linger on yours. A knock on the rear window caused you to both pull away.

Ollie rolled her eyes and shouted from the backseat. “Come on you two! You can kiss later! Let’s go eat!”

“Jesus, she really is mine, isn’t she?” Dean teased and walked around to the driver’s side of the car.

“Dean, you have no idea…” you said and climbed into the passenger side.

Lunch was at yours and Ollie’s favorite diner. After the meals had been ordered, they told you about the parts of the building competition that you missed. Dean and Ollie chatted casually about everything under the sun. As you watched them talk, you were filled with an overwhelming feeling of admiration for both. This is how things should have always been.

The waitress brought the food, and as you ate, Dean asked Ollie more about school, what subjects she liked—science and history—and she asked him about what he did for work. Dean hesitated and looked to you, unsure of what to say.

“Remember how I told you Aunt Ellen works with people who go out and help people with problems that the police can’t handle?”

Ollie nodded.

“Well, that’s what Dean does, too. Him and his brother, Sam, they travel all around the country to help people.”

“Oh,” she said, and got quiet.

You and Dean shared a pensive glance. Ollie was just pushing food around her plate, and her expression told you she was deep in thought. You passed Dean a facial shrug and went back to your food.

Ollie waited another beat and seemed ready to say what she wanted to. “Mommy, I wanna ask a question, but,” she paused, looked at Dean and began to chew on her lower lip.

“But, what?”

“I’m not sure if its appropriate,” she said the last word slower, to make sure she got the pronunciation right.

“Its okay, Ollie, ask whatever you want too.”

“Okay,” she inhaled, then exhaled slowly. “Is Dean my bibliolgical daddy?”

You couldn’t help but let a little chuckle out at her mispronunciation before you could reign it in and respond to her sudden, and somewhat surprising question.

“You mean, biological?”

She nodded. You passed a look to Dean, who was clearly taken aback by her question. He looked a little pale for a moment and grabbed his drink to take a long sip of his soda. Nervous or not; ready or not, it was time she knew.

“Yes, Olivia. Dean is your biological dad. How did you know?”

“I look like him. We both have freckles and green eyes.”

“That’s it?”

She shook her head but cast her eyes away from your gaze as if she had done something wrong.

“What is it?” you asked, putting down your fork and stretching your hand across the table to her.

“I remember hearing you and daddy fighting about Dean once. I heard daddy say something about him being a sperm donor. I didn’t know what that meant then, but I looked it up on Sally Sutton’s phone.”

Dean nearly choked on his drink. You closed your eyes and slowly shook your head. “Honey, you can ask me, you don’t need to look stuff like that up on Sally Sutton’s phone. Why does an eight-year-old have their own phone, anyway?”

“Moooom,” Ollie groaned and sighed.

“Fine, whatever… getting back to the point… I’m sorry you heard us fighting, I know we did that a lot. We still do, but we’re trying to be better. As far as Dean goes, he and I hadn’t seen each other in a really long time. But recently he came back to town and I told him about you.”

“I didn’t know—” Dean started, his voice raspy before it broke. “But its not your mom’s fault. Things just happened, back then. The important thing is that I know now.”

Ollie looked at him, but differently than she did before. Maybe she was trying to find more of herself in his face, or maybe she was trying to decide if he was an alright person to be her dad. Whatever it was, it was very different.

“Ok,” she said finally before going back to eating the food, instead of picking at it.

“Ok?” Dean asked.

“Yeah, you can be my dad. My biblio—real—dad.”

Dean didn’t even bother trying to hide his smile. “I can?”

“Sure. You’re cool. You like my mom, and you like cool stuff like Batman and Legos.”

“I’m cool,” he repeated, very proud of that fact.

You snickered at his expression before turning back to your daughter. “Ollie, do you have any other questions? Whatever you’re thinking, I want you to know you can tell either of us.”

“What does daddy think?” she asked.

“About what, exactly?”

“Dean.”

“Well,” you started and paused to give Dean an apologetic look. “I can’t speak for Daddy, Ol, but, if I were to guess, he’s probably not thrilled that Dean is back in my life. In our lives.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” you lied. You knew why but you weren’t going to bad mouth Jim to her. Regardless of who he was becoming, Olivia still loved him. “You may have to talk to him about that.”

“Ok.” She seemed at peace with your answer and continued her lunch. “One more question. What can I call you?”

Dean stumbled over his words in trying to answer her question. “Uh, well, I guess… whatever. You know, whatever your comfortable with. Dean is fine… Dad is ok, too,” he trialed off. “Pa—papa?” he said, uncertain, and immediately shook his head no. “Maybe not that…”

Ollie didn’t respond, she just nodded. The table got quiet, but only for a moment. Your cell phone began ringing and once you fished it from your pocket, you saw it was Jim. Sliding from the booth, you held it up to let them know you were going to take the call.

Walking away from the table, you heard Ollie and Dean slip into a conversation about Batman and pressed the answer button, bringing the phone to your ear.

“Hi Jim,” you answered.

“Where are you?”

“I’m great, thanks! How are you?” you continued, ignoring his demanding question.

“(Y/N), I’m not in the mood. Where are you and Olivia?”

“We are eating lunch at the diner. Why?”

“I want you to bring her back to my place when you’re done. Work was a bust, so I’m home and I want my weekend with her.”

You sighed, loudly. “Come on, Jim. Don’t do this. You can see her after school on Monday.”

“No, I want my weekend.”

“You’re behaving like a child,” you admonished, trying to keep your growing frustration in check.

“Do not fucking start with me. She’s my kid, too. I want my weekend.”

You lowered the phone from your ear and took a few calming breaths before responding.

“I really wish you would just be reasonable. She’s having fun, Jim.”

“Bring her to my house, or I will remember to tell my lawyer that you have a wanted felon staying in your house.”

Your blood ran cold and you realized just how low he would sink to get what he wanted. You figured he had done research on Dean, but had no idea exactly what he would find.

“Fine. I’ll bring her to your house tonight. But tomorrow is Sunday and I want her home by five,” you said and hung up before he could respond. You looked down the other end of the diner where they were talking and laughing together. The idea of breaking that up hurt your heart, and you knew it would hurt Dean’s, too. But, to avoid a bigger argument with Jim, you were going to have too.

Sitting back down in the booth, you tried to swallow down the disappointment that coated your tone. “So, change of plans. Dad is done with work and wants you to spend the night at his place, after all.”

You saw Dean’s expression fall from joyous to pissed in no time at all. Even Ollie seemed disappointed.

“Oh,” she said simply, and looked back to Dean. “How long are you staying for?”

Dean passed a look to you, as if you could answer her. You just shrugged and relayed through your expression that was entirely up to him.

“I don’t know, how long do you want me to stay?” he asked, leaning forward on the table.

She shrugged, and suddenly seemed like a very young, little girl again. “Maybe, forever?”

You had to turn your head from her, so she didn’t see the wetness that stung at the corners of your eyes. Dean struggled with his own feelings for a moment. He was able to pull them back and smile at her. “That sounds damn good to me, kid.”

After a round of chocolate cream pie for dessert, and a stop at the park to swing on the swings and monkey bars, you and Dean were pulling up to Jim’s house to drop Ollie off. Dean put the car in park but didn’t turn off the engine.

“Probably best if I stay in the car,” he said quietly before turning to face Ollie in the back seat. “I had a great first day with you.”

“Me too,” she smiled and leaned forward, hugging him from behind. He hugged her back and flashed to those dozens of day dreams he’d had; then realized he never imagined a hug like that, that somehow made it even more special.

“See you soon, okay?” he said giving her one last squeeze.

“Yeah!” she smiled and hopped out the backseat.

You gave Dean a wink and opened your door. “I’ll be right back.”

Taking Ollie’s hand, you walked her to the front door. Giving her hand a squeeze, you kissed the top of her head and paused outside of the front door.

“I love you, Olivia. You handled that pretty great.”

“I kinda knew when I saw him. I just needed to be sure.”

“You’re one smart kid,” you said with a wink.

“Like Dean says, I got a smart mom. Guess it comes from you.”

You chuckled and hugged her tight. “I guess it does.”

Just as you were about to ring the bell, Jim pulled the door open and both yours, and Olivia’s smile faded. Jim looked ragged, his features drawn, circles under his eyes, and his hair mussy.

“Wow. Rough day at the office?” you asked, teasingly, but he didn’t respond with humor.

“Yes,” he said simply and turned to Olivia. “Have fun at the library?”

“Yeah! We didn’t win, but we made a cool car,” she said, walking into the house. You followed her in and seemed to raise the same question Olivia had at the same time. “Where’s Max and Cody?”

“Oh,” Jim responded, he looked around, slightly confused. “Uh, Max and Cody… the dogs… they are outside.”

Olivia shrugged but you could tell she was bothered by that. The dogs always greeted her at the door. She took off her coat and hung it on the hook, then took off her shoes before walking back towards you for another hug.

“I love you mommy, see you tomorrow. Can I go watch tv?”

You and Jim both nodded and she scurried off towards the tv room. You knew it was just an excuse for her to go check on the dogs. She loved those dogs something fierce.

When she was out of ear shot, you cleared your throat and resolved to tell Jim the news you dreaded to have to tell him.

“So, you should know that Olivia knows Dean is her biological father.”

The flash of anger that came over his face, made you take a tentative step back towards the door. You’d see him lose his temper throughout the years, but this was like nothing you’d experienced with him before. The only thing that made you feel better was how close you were to the screen door and a chance to bolt.

“What?” he growled, taking a few steps closer. “How?”

“She asked, Jim. I wasn’t going to lie to her.”

“She asked? Bullshit. There’s no way she would know unless you told her.”

“I didn’t tell her. She flat out asked. Ask her yourself.”

His nostrils were flaring, that signature vein popping from his neck, and his face red with anger. “You’re such a meddling bitch, you know that?”

That’s when he grabbed your arm and shoved you back into the open front door hard enough for your head to bounce off the vinyl just to the side of the door knocker.

Dean watched (Y/N) and Olivia walk hand-in-hand towards the house, and he smiled. Despite all the chaos of what was happening with his hunting life, his personal life was finding a direction that he never thought possible. Just the taste of it that day, was enough to make him crave it more.

He reflected on their day, and casually glanced in the back seat where Ollie had been throughout the day. That’s when he noticed she forgot her take-out piece of pie. Much like her old man, she had trouble deciding on which to get, so he got her the second piece to bring home.

Grabbing the box, Dean hopped out of the car and started walking to the house. As he got closer to the front door, he could see Jim and (Y/N) inside. He hesitated for a moment, when he read Jim’s expression and body language. When he saw the man start approaching (Y/N), he took the last few steps at a jog. Then, when Dean watched Jim push her forcibly up against the front door, he dropped the pie and ran.

Dean threw open the screen door and was about to draw his arm back to punch Jim in the face, when he saw Ollie was at the end of the hallway. Her eyes were huge at what she was watching unfold.

(Y/N) noticed her, at the same time Dean did.

“Jim!” she yelled and looked back at Olivia.

Jim saw the girl standing there and released his grip on her. Dean grabbed (Y/N)’s sleeve and pulled her to stand behind him. His fists clenching in and out, ready to pounce on the man if he tried to pull something else. When he spoke, his tone was calm, cool and collected.

“Hey, Ollie. Change of plans again honey, sorry,” Dean starred Jim down, challenging him to contradict what he said. “Get your shoes and coat back on. Daddy Jim isn’t feeling well after all and needs to sleep it off. You’re gonna come back home with us.”

Jim didn’t say a word, but he held Dean’s glare with a seething anger burning in his dark eyes. (Y/N) moved out from behind Dean and went down the hallway to take Olivia’s hand.

“Come on baby, let’s go home for tonight, okay?”

She just nodded. When she passed Jim, she grabbed her shoes and coat, then looked up at him with sad eyes and simply said, “Night daddy.”

(Y/N) walked her out of the house and out to the idling Impala. Dean stayed behind a moment and when the girls were safely in the car, he took a few steps to close the distance between him and Jim.

Jim didn’t move, didn’t even flinch. Dean leaned in closer, his voice low and raspy. “If you ever touch her again… I’ll break your face.” Dean turned and left the house, letting the screen door slam behind him.

“Yeah, you do that, pal,” he mumbled as he watched him go.

Jim waited until Dean got in the car and take off down the road. He inhaled deeply, and slowly closed, and locked the front door. He walked down the hallway towards the tv room, where the sliding doors opened into the back yard. Opening the door, the two, large golden retrievers ran into the house, jumping around and excited to see Olivia, whose scent was all over the room, but she wasn’t. Confused, the dogs looked at Jim and whined as they sat and pawed at him.

“What the fuck do you want from me?” he asked them. “Fuckin’ Winchester made her leave, take it up with him.” Jim’s eyes flashed black at the dogs, who laid down and whined louder as they hid their faces from the thing living inside their master.

“Don’t you worry though, I’ll get the little brat back.”

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