#<- don't want to trigger anyone take care of yourselves <3 <3

[alltimefail-sims]

I have been trying to word this more eloquently but UGH I'm honestly exhausted so long story short my grandma passed away yesterday. I won't be posting any sims-related content for at least a week, but I'll be back to posting as soon as I can.

I'll still be reblogging stuff on my main blog (@alltimefail) and I'll try to respond to direct messages when I can, but please don't be offended/worried if you don't hear back from me for at least a week. I'm still in the processing stage, it's going to be a minute before I'm ready to be social and make original posts.

Thanks <3

[adilynnyuri]

Hello yuri! I'm the one who asked you about revising my father's death. First of all, Thankyou so much for answering me and supporting me! I feel much better than earlier when I affirm for his aliveness but still I get triggered sometimes by circumstances and start to miss him again. But I think I should not supress my emotions too whenever I feel emotionally weak, I cry out so much, feel my emotions, miss him talk to him with his picture and again come back to my imagination, I think this doesn't affect my manifestation, right? Okay, so the final question is, that I always try to fullfill in my imagination and most of the time I do so, I don't care what other people say also my belief system has become stronger but the thing is I always affirm that " I always wake up and see my father alive, healthy and happy and while affirming this I go to sleep and expect that next morning I'll see my father again, but when I don't see him next morning; it triggers me so much that I don't want to even wake up and thoughts like I should suicide come into my minds and then It takes 2 or 3 hours to come back to my normal routine affirmation, how should I deal with this? Is it okay to feel like this? Please help me. Thankyou! Lots of love to you! 💕♥️

Hii love! 🤍

I am once again saying that I completely understand your situation!

But if you want your dad back, you can't take "no" As an answer. If your "3d" Reflects something you don't want it, it is just some bullshit. It is not real. It is real, if you accept the fact it is real.

I understand you are doing everything right but when you wake up, your dad isn't with you and it is triggering you.

AND NEVER EVER TALK ABOUT SUICIDAL THOUGHTS EVER!! YOU ARE MEANT TO BE HAPPY AND BLESSED EVERY SECOND OF YOUR LIFE!! NEVER EVER THINK OF SUICIDING MY LOVE, YOU ARE PRECIOUS AND A GEM FOR THIS WORLD!

I am always there in case of any problems! And also our community people are there for you!! Feel free to share your problems! We will respect you and your feelings totally ♡

Let me give you the same example,

if you write numbers from 1-10 in a note book as homework and you sleep at night being satisfied that you finished your homework and the next day when you wake up will the numbers you wrote in the notebook disappear and will you worry waking up thinking that if you wrote those numbers or not? I mean, it will disappear if you say it disappears. And of course sitting and worrying about something which is already done is also your decision. So if the homework (your desires) are already done, why are you "expecting" Or "worrying" That your desire hasn't yet come to you??

"But revising someone back alive is A BIG THING"

It's a big thing only if you say it's a big thing. "Revising anyone back to life is a piece of cake to me" Say this affirmation repeatedly even though YOU don't feel it/see any changes in your 3d. Affirm back against the "3d" If it "shows" You the complete opposite of what you wanted. If it triggers you, fuck that. It doesn't exist.

Things/people in this world exist only because you let them. THEY ARE EXISTING IN FRONT OF YOU, BECAUSE👏🏻YOU👏🏻ARE👏🏻ALLOWING 👏🏻THEM👏🏻TO👏🏻.

YOUR DESIRES ARE ALREADY THERE. YOU DO NOT NEED TO WORRY FOR ANYTHING. YOU ARE PRECIOUS. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO GET SPOILED BY EVERY LITTLE THING YOU EVER WANTED. DON'T TAKE NO AS AN ANSWER. IT'S ALWAYS YES. YES YOUR DAD IS ALIVE! YES YOUR INCOME IS DOUBLED! YES WHATEVER YOU WANTED IS ALREADY THERE.

Why do you "expect" It to happen??? IT IS ALREADY DONE!!

I don't want to convey it as rude. It's just my reminder to you that,

You already have whatever you ever wanted. If you don't like what you are seeing, affirm, be still within, AND DON'T CHANGE YOURSELVES FOR ANYTHING! IT IS ALREADY DONE. DO NOT WORRY FOR ANYTHING! YOU ARE AN ANGEL! YOU ALREADY GOT WHAT YOU WANTED!!

With lots of love,

ADILYNN YURI🤍🌷

[roseghoul26]

Hello! I would like to request Cooper Howard x gn!reader (post war, because...murderous cowboy...hnnngh), where they struggle with mental health issues like depression? I've been in a really tough spot, having no energy or motivation to do anything or really any desire to take care of myself. So I was thinking, maybe the reader's mental health is declining, they're slower and sloppier when it comes to keeping up with Cooper and he's more and more frustrated. Then one day he has enough (maybe the reader is taking too long packing up) and threatens to leave them and they're just...passive, because they really don't care anymore about what happens to them. So he realises they haven't been taking care of themselves properly for a while now and then some soft moments with him? I know this is pretty dark and you can change this however you'd like, but I'm dying for some hurt/comfort with this man 🥺 It's totally cool if it's too much for you, if you decide to not write this, please just let me know, so I don't wait for it. Thank you so much, I love your Cooper fics <3

Cooper Howard | The Ghoul x gn!Reader

Synopsis: You’ve been struggling lately, putting both you and your traveling companion in danger. He was bound to confront you about it eventually. Tags: Prompt Request, Not Beta Read, Gender Neutral Reader, Depression, Mental Health, Mentions of Suicide, Disagreements, Comfort, Lazy Day, Cuddling, Beginning Relationships Author's Note: Trigger warning for topics relating to mental health, such as depression and suicide. Please do not read if you’re not in a good mental space. Take care of yourselves. Also, everyone’s experience with depression and mental health issues differs, so I am writing this story the way I experience it. Also, this was a fun challenge to write. Like how the hell would he approach a topic like this? It’s been fun to explore his character like that, and I hope I did it justice. Thank you so much for the request! <333

You used to be able to keep up with the Ghoul. 

Wherever he went, you followed, tearing through the Wastleland without hindrance. You watched his back, and he yours, a security that was unheard of in this world. It was a trusting friendship, bordering on something else, something that neither of you had crossed yet. You couldn't compete with over a hundred years of experience with a gun, but you were able to hold your own quite well. You were a decent shot and someone who never let anyone get the drop on you, senses always sharp. 

So when you started missing easy targets and found yourself surprised by opponents one too many times, you knew it was a matter of time before the Ghoul started asking questions and not believing the first lie that you said. The first time it had happened, you blamed it on your lack of sleep, and he seemed to buy it. And maybe you convinced yourself it was just a lack of sleep, ignoring the darkness that had begun to emerge in your mind. You just needed to rest, was what you told yourself. 

It happened again a few days later, completely missing a target in front of you. Your reactions had begun to slow down, too, unable to avoid the swing of a blade, cutting across your cheek. It was like your body gave up on wanting to move, an unbearable weariness to your muscles that you were unable to shake. Later, as you bandaged the wound on your cheek, the Ghoul confronted you, demanding to know why you were acting so sloppy. You’d merely shrugged, offering up the idea that you were sick. This time he seemed less convinced, yet he had let the matter go. 

You knew why you were acting the way you were. You weren’t unfamiliar with depression, far from it. It was something you’d dealt with your entire life, coming and going like waves. You’d go days, weeks, months and you’d be fine, but then a flip would switch. You’d lose your energy, your motivation, wanting nothing more than to just lay on the ground and never get back up. You’d stop taking care of your body. You’d lose your appetite. Your thoughts would turn dark, ideations and ideas flashing in your mind, things that you’d never tell another soul. 

For the months you’d been traveling with the Ghoul, you’d been able to keep a reign on your depression. Sure, you had your off days, but nothing like this. It was like the universe was punishing you for having such an excellent past months. 

But how could you explain this to your traveling partner? How could you explain that you didn’t have the energy to continue existing, to continue fighting? He needed you to be alert, to not have your thoughts occupied with something, that in perspective to the Wasteland around you, was trivial. 

So you kept your mouth shut, forcing yourself to appear alert and unaffected. You forced those thoughts to the back of your mind. You forced your body to move, no matter how much it screamed at you to just be still.

But it seemed that all that bottling your thoughts up did was make it worse. As the days dragged on, you stopped talking, only muttering small words whenever the Ghoul asked you a question. You’d normally spend the time traveling conversing, and the Ghoul did try to initiate a conversation with you, but no amount of questions and joking and jabs could get you to break. Eventually, he fell quiet too.

Sleeping became a challenge. You’d think with how exhausted your body felt, you’d be able to sleep easily, but the opposite was true. Hours would tick by, and you’d lie awake, getting up the next morning more exhausted than before you went to bed. Your face, already a bit gaunt from living such a difficult life, had grown even more so, the circles around your eyes darkening and your lips growing more chapped. 

You stopped eating, turning away the food he offered you. After you went a few days without eating more than a bite, he practically forced spoonfuls of food into your mouth, snapping at you the entire time. It was humiliating, but you couldn’t bring yourself to change. You just wanted to be done. 

You could tell that your demeanor was starting to annoy the hell out of the Ghoul, whose words had turned shorter and snappier. If you took too long, he’d grab you by the shoulder and drag you along, like an upset parent with their child. Your cheeks would burn every time, tears pickling your eyes, and you’d hang your head. 

There was a tension growing between you and the Ghoul, your friendship growing thin. His guard was up constantly, unable to trust you any longer to watch his back, which hurt you more than any knife or gun. Soft glances disappeared, his gaze scrutinizing when he looked at you. Light touches from him reserved for when you were at rest were no more, as you chose to keep to yourself every night. Instead of walking side-by-side, you’d linger a few feet behind him. You pretended like it was easier this way, to make him push you away, but it was tearing you apart. 

But eventually, that tension snapped. Too many close calls, too many sluggish movements, too many half-hearted excuses finally made him break. You’d just gotten up for the day, another sleepless night behind you, and you were packing up your few belongings. You must’ve been taking too long, because you heard him sigh audibly, standing in the open doorway of the room you’d sheltered in for the night. “What’s your fuckin’ issue?” He growled, arms crossed tight over his chest.

You looked up, feigning confusion. “I dunno what-”

“Bullshit,” he cut you off. He began to walk towards you, his steps methodical, threatening. “You’ve been actin’ like this for weeks, and you’ve only offered me half-assed excuses.” He was seething, and understandably so. He crouched down in front of you, rendering you unable to escape. “So, you,” he stuck a finger in your chest, barely avoiding hitting you, “are gonna tell me why. And don’t even think ‘bout lyin’, sweetheart.”

You swallowed, heart hammering in your chest at the confrontation. Words flooded your mind, a full explanation on the tip of your tongue, yet you just couldn’t bring yourself to utter it. Your mouth opened and closed, struggling, until you eventually just gave up. Sighing, you just shook your head, which pissed him off even more. 

A disbelieving laugh left him, and he ran a gloved hand over his face. “No? You’re kiddin’ me, right?” He didn’t wait for a response. “Ya know, I’ve tried to be lenient. I bought into your fuckin’ lies that you were ‘just tired’, ‘just sick’. I tried to give ya space, to give ya time to get out of this. But you’re gonna get us both killed if ya don’t fix yourself. I can’t be distracted out there, constantly worried ‘bout you and keepin’ you alive, ‘cause it seems like that’s the last thing on your mind.”

He took a breath, steadying his rising voice. “So I’m gonna give ya one more chance to explain yourself, or else I’m leavin’ without ya.”

“Then leave.” Your response came almost immediately, your voice lacking any inflection. Even though in the back of your mind you were screaming at him not to leave, you kept an air of indifference about you, unable to make yourself care. It would be easier if he just left, wouldn’t it? You wouldn’t be putting anyone else in danger, and you wouldn’t have to deal with the guilt you felt of him worrying about you so much. And it would be so much easier to just disappear if there was no one looking for you.

He wasn’t expecting that as a response if the look on his face told you anything. His brow muscles were raised, leaning back from you in shock. But the way he was watching you, it was like he was observing you in a different light, dots beginning to connect in his mind. “You’ll die out there without me.” 

You merely shrugged your shoulders, glancing down to continue packing your belongings, no longer able to look him in the eye. He didn’t respond, simply standing up with a sigh. You didn’t look up, not even as you heard him walk away, backing towards the entrance of the room. You didn’t look up, even as you heard the surprisingly gentle click of the door as it shut. You didn’t look up, even as the tears that you’d been holding for the past weeks finally fell.

You were alone.

You thought it would make you feel better like there would be a weight lifted off your shoulders. But everything just felt heavier, the thoughts in your mind becoming a tempest, making you physically weak. Expletives tumbled from your lips as you sagged down onto your arms, head hung. Of course, he’d fucking leave, you idiot. No one wants to deal with your moping.

A part of you wanted to chase after him, to beg him to stay, but you already felt pathetic enough. You couldn’t blame him for leaving, not at all. You were weighing him down, putting his life in danger; he said so himself. He could only deal with you for so long. You should be grateful that he didn’t leave sooner.

The sound of rustling fabric made you jump, finally looking up. The Ghoul had taken off his jacket, laying it across the back of the couch he had slept on, never having left the room at all. Stunned, you watched him sit, taking his hat off in the process and setting it on the floor. He finally caught your eye then, a soft look on his face, a look you hadn’t seen in a long while. 

“I thought you left,” you whispered, sitting back upright. Embarrassment warmed your cheeks, and you tried to wipe the tears that had fallen on them. 

“I ain’t leavin’ ya, sweetheart.”

“Why not?”

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Do you want me to go?” You’d never shaken your head faster in your life. “Then I’m stayin’.”

“But why?”

He sighed. “‘Cause I care ‘bout you. I… Is that too hard to believe?”

It is. Unable to find words, you just shrugged again. 

Something akin to regret or remorse flashed across his face, and muttering something under his breath he reclined against the couch. He was upset, but even now you could tell it was not because of you, at least not fully. “C’mere,” he murmured, patting the couch beside him. “You look like you’re gonna fuckin’ bolt at any second.”

Taking a steadying breath, you complied, albeit with some difficulty, your legs barely wanting to function. His gaze didn’t leave you once, as much as you wished it would, making you want to collapse in on yourself. The walk to the couch felt like it was miles long, but you eventually made your way over to it and him. 

He rolled his eyes when you just stood there in front of him, unsure of what to do with yourself. “Sit down, I ain’t gonna fuckin’ bite.” In another situation, you knew he’d add some comment like unless ya want me to, but he bit his tongue. The couch groaned as you sat next to the Ghoul, keeping a foot between your bodies. “Talk to me,” he commanded, yet his voice was gentle. “What the hell’s goin’ on?”

You picked at the skin around your nails, no doubt drawing blood. “I’m… I’m not quite sure how to explain it,” you responded, and you expected your words to upset the man even more. But he nodded his head slowly, an almost understanding look on his face. “I’m just… done."

“Done with… what? Bein’ out on the road?” You shook your head. “Travellin’ with me?” You shook your head again, this time more vehemently. “Done with what?” You knew that he knew the answer to his question, but he wanted you to say it.

“I’m done with… with existing. I just can’t bring myself to care anymore. I’m just so tired of it all.” You sagged back against the couch like speaking took a toll on your body. “I’m so tired.”

He didn’t respond for a while, mulling over your words. “That… that explains a lot,” he chuckled humourlessly. “Your mind won’t just leave ya the hell alone, will it? It's like all your mind can focus on are these terrible fuckin’ things, no matter what ya do. And it just weighs on ya, like a million pounds, getting worse with every passin’ day until you just wanna… give up.”

He explained it perfectly, and you cocked your head to the side, a bit confused about how he was able to do so. “I ain’t a stranger to what you’re goin’ through. We’re well fuckin’ acquainted, to say the least. So I shoulda recognized it sooner with ya.” 

He paused, sighing. “Wanna know somethin’?” You nodded. “I was too busy thinkin’ ‘bout what I did to upset ya that I didn’t bother to think of any other possible reason as to why you’re actin’ the way you are. But once I realized it wasn’t my fault, not entirely, instead of bein’ there for ya, I was an ass. I thought, because I’m a damn idiot, that you were just mopin’ around for the hell of it, putting us both in danger simply ‘cause you were tired or some shit. Not once did I stop to think why. And I apologize.”

“You don’t gotta-” He cut you off with a pointed look. “I… I accept your apology, then.”

He nodded slowly, content. “I’d like to help ya, sweetheart. I know nothin’ I say or do is gonna make it go away like that… but I’d like to try. Whatever ya need from me, and you’ve got it.”

“I’m not sure what I need exactly,” you admitted quietly.

“When ya figure it out, will ya let me know?” You nodded.

“Just… be patient. As difficult as that is for you.” You hadn’t meant for the jab to come out, but you weren’t taking it back. Especially when a loud laugh left the Ghoul, making a smile of your own appear on your face. It was faint, yet it was there.

An almost starstruck expression appeared on his face, his laughter dying out. “I missed seein’ ya smile,” he murmured as if it was a subconscious thought.

You ducked your head, making him laugh again. “As for bein’ patient, well, I can be that, if that’s what ya need.”

“It’ll take some time,” you cautioned again, indirectly giving him a chance to back out of this. 

“Time ain’t an issue. I’ll wait as long as it fuckin’ takes.”

“You mean it?” Your voice was so soft, barely audible to either of you. 

You watched as one of his gloved hands inched towards you, palm upturned. Tentatively, you placed your in his, eyes growing wide when he brought your hand to his lips, kissing the back of it gently. “I swear,” he uttered, sealing the promise with another press of his lips.

As you returned your tingling hand to your lap, his eyes scanned over your face, a furrow appearing between his brow. “How long has it been since you’ve eaten somethin’? Somethin’ that I didn’t force ya to eat,” he added when you opened your mouth to respond. 

Your silence said enough, and he leaned down to his bag, which he had placed beside the couch when he sat. After a few moments of rustling through, he handed you a small bag of what appeared to be jerky, as well as a small canteen of water. “It ain’ human,” he added when you eyed the bag suspiciously before taking it.

The jerky was salty and tough when you took a bite, not quite wanting to, but unable to not eat under his gaze. You ate in silence until your stomach was full and your teeth hurt from the tough material. Taking a swig of water, you could feel your eyes growing heavy, eating seemingly draining your energy more than replenishing it. Stifling a yawn, you shoved the canteen back into his hand, and you noticed he had an almost pleased look on his face. 

You were confused, though, when he stood, making his way to the entrance of the room. For a moment, those thoughts flashed in your mind that told you that he was finally leaving, that he realized how pathetic you were. But instead of doing any of those things, you watched as he simply wedged a chair under the handle of the door, like he had done before you went to bed for the night. 

“What’re you doing?”

“We takin’ the day off. Doctor’s orders.”

“But aren’t we supposed to be in Filly in a few days?”

“We’ll be fine. You are gonna spend today catchin’ up on some much-needed rest.” He stood in front of you now, a moth-eaten blanket in his hands. 

“And what are you gonna do?” You asked, and he shrugged. 

“Don’t worry ‘bout me, sweetheart. Go ‘head, lie down.”

Your eyes quickly scanned the couch, and you took a deep breath before speaking again. “The couch is big enough for us both, no?”

For the second time that day, you’d stunned him with your responses. “Is… is that what ya want?”

Encouraged that he hadn’t just outrightly said no, you nodded your head, and a fond look crossed his features. He handed you the blanket before sitting once more, but instead of his back being against the cushions, he rested it against one of the armrests, not before tucking a pillow in front of it. 

Once he was situated, he opened up his arms to you, and you could’ve laughed at how uncertain he looked. Hands rested on your body when you laid down, head on his chest, laying on your stomach, and you made sure the blanket covered both your bodies as best you could. You weren’t too worried about covering all of you, though, with the sheer amount of warmth he was radiating. 

His eyes were already on you when you glanced up, a smile pulling at his lips. “Comfy?”

“Yes.” Your voice was barely audible, but he heard it. 

You felt his fidget with something in his hand behind your back, but you didn’t have to wait long to find out what he was doing. You felt fingers run along your scalp, making you shudder, before combing through any hair there. “Alright?”

You sighed contently, nodding your head before letting it fall back onto his chest. He continued to run his fingers there, his other hand tracing patterns across your shoulders. You hadn’t realized how tired you were until now, finding it hard to keep your eyes open. For the first time in a long time, you felt safe. Safe from the world outside this room. Safe from the thoughts that plagued your mind. Safe from everything. 

He didn’t have to see your face to know that you were struggling to stay awake. “Go to bed. I’ll be here when you wake.”

“Promise?”

“Ain’t fuckin’ like I’m gonna be able to get up,” he chuckled, before taking a more serious tone. “I promise.”

That was all you needed to hear before you finally let the final strings of consciousness leave your grasp. Before you lost control of all your senses, though, you felt him lean down, pressing a barely-there kiss to the top of your head. “You’ll get through this, sweetheart.”

You believed him.

[velvetvexations]

I have nothing against op but "sucks that trans women are having to support trans men :/" is just wild. When 90% of posts about transmisogyny end with "and that's why trans men suck", who is really putting the conversation about transmisogyny on hold for trans men? Probably the people who keep making transmisogyny about trans men??

Queer discourse always sucks, it sucks that members of our own community always have to defend each other against each other, but it's also kind of our responsibility to defend each other and anyone who's not a complete asshole will get that. So to be like "I'm sorry that you with your higher concerns have to debase yourselves for little ol us" is weird!!

I get your point and agree with it, but I do think you're reading a bit much into the post. I understand that they were framing it as it being a burden trans women are shouldering, taking away time and energy that could be spent on their own specific issues. You read that correctly. Nonetheless, I feel there's a broader context to take into account.

Transmascs are bombarded with messaging that makes quite a lot of them need transfems to have to tell them that no, they're not misogynistic for existing, and those transfems then have to use their relative authority in the discussion as the people claimed to be the Most Victim to shoot that shit down. I don't consider that a burden on me, but rather an exhausting and frustrating situation to be in for transmascs having to rely on the transfems vocally in their favor to tell people to knock it off because their own voices are diminished and it puts them in a very demeaning position.

So I think all that plays a part in the OP's feelings which I find understandable and coming from a place of more than just "it sucks trans women are having to show solidarity." It sucks having to go to your sister and ask her to get your bullies to leave you alone. It makes you feel guilty for relying on her and it makes you feel less powerful for not being able to do it yourself.

I think in retrospect I really regret not having added anything to it because you are right that solidarity should be the default expectation and I don't want transmascs to feel like their problems are a burden. I love my brothers and it's my sincere pleasure to advocate for them.

Truthfully, if not for this discourse I would be just about useless to the world. I can't advocate for my own issues, not only lacking the circumstances to even attempt doing anything IRL if I wanted to but also being horrifically triggered engaging with the outside world unless I ignore it as much as possible. When I used Reddit as my primary social media outlet I literally had lowkey PTSD from how many times I was accidentally exposed to news stories and had to be very careful to avoid them.

But so many people tell me I have a positive impact on them and their life. As much as I hate these circumstances, I'm happy to have found something I can do for others, and there's nothing wrong with needing your sister's help. <3

[blackbirdsinmypie]

sooo much i want to talk about. hmm i was going to write most of it in my journal but i'm short on time so i'll type it instead. v long so it's under a read more:

the project is over and it was a success! some stumbles here and there, but overall, we did really well. so proud of everyone for this one!

thank you to our project managers and my academic team manager in particular. you guys are the real MVPs! you gave 110% of yourselves this entire project and i appreciate it so so much, you're my inspirations hahaha.

spend a wonderfulllll few days with a beloved friend of five years! i wrote a poem for her a few weeks ago, it's on here somewhere. i'm so so glad to have been able to spend time with her after so long. she's a very dear friend to me and her presence literally lights up a room. <3

had a panic attack lol. this was the not so great part. that's literally never happened to me before, esp. not in public. i was hyperventilating, sweating, my hands were tingling, i was crying and i couldn't stop for the life of me, and i was really disoriented. and all of this right in the main room, in front of everyone. i don't know why it had to happen right there and then. sooooo embarrassing :< the trigger was the fact that i missed out on the group photo but that's such a stupid fucking thing to have a panic attack over - i think it was more the combo of the stress + lack of sleep + the constant performativity of teaching in front of so many people (including my lovely classmates!) + the myriad of mental health problems i am currently dealing with, and that little thing - the missing out on the group photo for a project that i've worked so hard for (also fucking w/ my dormant abandonment issues) - was the straw that broke the camel's back, in a way. and i just had a full blown panic attack in the main room in front of my classmates and juniors and everyone. so embarrassing :<

thank you so so much to my lovely friends for taking such good care of me and helping me through it!!! i appreciate it so much. they really did try their best to soothe me. i'm so lucky to have such kind and caring friends in my life.

thinking back, i should have gone somewhere quiet, sat down, and tried to control my breathing. seems pretty logical. but i didn't realise i was having a panic attack at the time - i just thought i was feeling particularly emotional for some reason and i needed to will myself into calming the fuck down. but a panic attack is such a physical thing, you can't really stand there and mentally force yourself to stop shaking and hyperventilating. but i didn't know what to do. i just stood there and hyperventilated and tried so so hard to stop crying. i promise i was trying so hard. i couldn't stop. i'm so embarrassed about it.

i talked to everyone after the event had ended - i was still coming down from my panic attack at that point and my voice was shaky and i was still sort of holding back tears. i should have gone somewhere quiet and waited until it was over before talking to anyone. but i talked to everyone and gave them my thanks and told them how incredible they were and how much i appreciated their work. i wonder if i made anyone uncomfortable - i was still visibly upset at this point, but i was trying my hardest to be composed. i should have waited. i really hope i didn't make anyone too uncomfortable. but i meant what i said. am i overthinking things again? i've been overthinking a lot recently. it's not good for me.

but everyone was so supportive, which i'm incredibly grateful for. you guys are the best.

some of the juniors asked for my contact info after the event. it was embarrassing facing them like three minutes after the worst of the panic attack had passed, tears in my eyes, voice wobbling and breathing still weird. like fuck!!!! i'm supposed to be an inspiration and a role model for these kids!!! and here i am fucking. having a breakdown in front of them!!! AHHHHH!!!!! v embarrassing but it's okay. it's no biggie. fuckkkkkkkk

we went for dinner afterwards. drank a glass of beer - icky!!! i don't like the taste of hops. i'll stick to fun cocktails in the future. everyone seemed very surprised/ecstatic that i was drinking though. i felt like britney spears singing oops i did it again - "i'm not that innocent" lol.

slept at my friend's hotel room. it was so nice being with her - she brings out the loud side of me that i haven't seen in a while. i love it.

also all my friends and a lot of the juniors said that i did a really great job w teaching my topics! political philosophy and public administration are both tricky, but i hope i made it at least a little more interesting than reading out of a textbook. i'm proud of myself for this one.

all in all - i have been on quite the emotional rollercoaster these past few days. but i'm glad to have been a part of this project. it's brought me a lot closer to a my classmates and i'm beyond grateful for that.

hope that panic attack doesn't happen again though. because what the fuck was that

[theroseyhues]

Tags, Why and how they are used.

(A Fandom PSA)

Alright, I have something to talk about. Tags. Tumblr tags are a way people can filter what they see. This means they can choose what to see and also what not to see. We all use them, and as social media users, we must properly tag things. I am sending this out to particularly the QSMP fandom since it is my current main fandom but this is the same across the site.

(This post was something I've been meaning to make since some of the issues with a certain former qsmp cc. That topic was incredibly triggering for many including myself and I was very discouraged by the lack of proper tagging over the situation. This is also a sort of guide for any new community members, especially with the new member set to arrive this Saturday and the fact that many qsmp admins are now on Tumblr and understandably may not want to see everything on here. I hope this will also serve as a reminder to anyone who sometimes forgets to properly tag. Please take care of yourselves and others as always <3)

What are tags and what are they used for? (the basics)

Tags are a feature on Tumblr and other forms of social media to distinguish between types of content. By many they are also used to hide certain triggering topics with tags such as "tw blood".

How can you block tags? Why?

blocking tags hides any posts labeled with that tag and you can block it by going to the main Tumblr settings and adding it to the "blocked tags list". You can block any topics you find triggering or that damage your experience on the platform. For example, I have certain blocked tags such as "Fandom crit", "NSFW", "/neg", and "Qsmp neg". I have blocked these tags and others for the simple reason that I find the posts labeled with these tags make me upset and can ruin my experience in the fandom or while watching content. Doing this is not avoiding a topic, it is not being "closed-minded", it is simply improving your mental health by choosing what you are exposed to.

The Issue.

Unfortunately, tags have to be added by the post creator to be blocked and so there becomes an issue when people do not properly label posts. Luckily this can be easily fixed if you as a poster simply always properly tag your posts. So please, tag your posts properly. Tag the trigger warnings, tag the tone indicators, tag at the very least the main topic. And please, never tag something as a different topic. The tags are here to help us be organized and stay safe, thank you.

Some tips!

Often people will use tags that are trending to spread their content. This is a bad idea and will most often just get them banned but to prevent seeing some of it I recommended blocking one of the common trending tags (one use don't follow). Also if you see something blatantly miss tagged feel free to block and or report the person (especially for anything nsfw as they often use this technique)

Conclusion

Please properly tag things, it helps everyone stay safe on this platform and irl. If you have topics you don't want to see please block them for your own mental health.

[supernovaa-remnant]

I heard about this Shubble person recently, I stayed out of drama as much as I could but, what happened now??? You even wrote this in one of your tags "#I really did love him a lot (parasocially)". I was busy this week so I don't know what is happening now.

I highly recommend people watch Shubble’s vod on her twitch channel (I don’t have a link but I can’t imagine it’s that difficult to find). Be mindful though as the vod does talk about abuse which is a very triggering topic, so make sure to be taking care of yourself. I’m gonna put the rest of the post under the cut, so people can easily scroll past this if they want to.

As a little summary, Shubble streamed yesterday and talked about her abusive ex. She didn’t name anyone, but she also wasn’t hiding who it was, and contrary to what some people may say, a lot of the dots being connected are stuff we know from past streams and comments from friends and not leaked info.

So, the incredibly most likely case is that it was Wilbur. I’m not gonna get into everything Shelby said because she said it on her stream, but the signs do point to Wilbur, and you’d have to reach significantly further to claim she was talking about someone else. There’s not a lot of British male ccs who have a bigger audience than her who have a history of biting people and have reason to be going on long travels (tour) where they wouldn’t see each other often.

Listen. I was a certified dreambur blog, okay? Everyone who glanced in my direction knew that I was a Wilbur fan. Everyone knows that I loved him so fucking much. But that’s not an excuse to bury my head in the sand and ignore everything, y’know?

Anyway, this is gonna be the last time I talk abt this publicly (I’m sure my friends will hear more in DMs though sorry <3), so I’m gonna throw a bit more stuff here abt my blog going forward.

I will eventually talk abt c!wilbur again. I’m still gonna write my silly little c!dreambur aus, I’ve just put them on the back burner. regardless of cc actions, I genuinely do love so many of the characters on the dsmp. I’ll probably be focused on some other fics for a while, but c!wilbur’s my cat and I don’t think he’s leaving my brain soon. I just need a little time.

I think cc!wilbur is someone who needs help. and I genuinely do hope he gets that help. but having mental health struggles isn’t an excuse. and I just can’t see myself engaging in his content in the foreseeable future. you’re not gonna see me post neg about him. you’re just likely not gonna see me post anything about him at all.

I’m happy to know Shubble has an amazing support system. I’m so sorry she had to go through something so horrible. I’m wishing her nothing but the best, and everyone should check out her YouTube channel!! I haven’t watched her newest video yet, but I did watch Lizzie’s pov of the collab, so I know it’s a fun concept

If people have questions that this post doesn’t answer, then I’m happy to answer them in DMs, but I don’t wanna talk abt this publicly anymore. (I reserve a right to change my mind though if I for some reason feel the need to post abt it again)

Anyway, take care of yourselves. Love is never ever wasted, okay? And all that love belongs to you. And it’s always a good thing to put more love out into the world. Never feel guilty for loving, okay? 🫂

[thelooniemoonie]

OK against my better judgement I have to ask which one is the worst god that exists in the game would you care to share a ranked list? (But also be kind to my sanity fjfjdjfjf)

OKAY THIS MIGHT ACTUALLY ME A BIT MORE DAUNTING THAN YOU THINK BECAUSE THERE'S A LOT OF THEM SKJGHSKGL

Major spoilers for both games btw, (and also as a warning if you or anyone else wants to check out these games please take note of the trigger warnings because man. There are a lot of them) I'm gonna try to cover what I can:

Okay before I get into it I might have to put some context because there are 3 god types in the lore of the games:

Old gods: the original ancient gods, who typically represent universal concepts in the world like life and death. Basically eldritch in nature and otherworldly. Even if they aren't present directly they have lot's of influence, and there are a handful of them.

New gods: all once-humans that ascended into godhood, but are unable to ascend to the level that of the old gods. They are weaker and don't have a lot of influence, as there are probably hundreds of them that have withered away.

Ascended gods: only 2 (technically 4?) gods fall into this category. It's not clear from the game how they are created, but the leading theory is that a human ends up taking the place of an old god or absorbing their soul and becoming one. It's also theorized they split into 2 with the old god and the human forming 2 new forms?? Not sure. They actually rival the old gods in terms of power.

RANKINGS (From biggest asshole to actually pretty okay):

THE ASSHOLE ALLIANCE:

Rher - The Moon God, and an old god. He's a trickster and a huge prick, as not only is one of the villains in the 2nd game but his entire motivation is "hey, humans want to ascend to the old gods like us? you want to improve your lives and yourselves? fuck you." canonically thinks humanity trying to ascend is a mockery and a joke, and is jealous of humans to even try. Literally employs grand schemes to prevent humanity from doing anything, including orchestrating the Termina festival (which is a "kill everyone now" festival) and literally hires servants to kill children to prevent them from becoming gods too. Actively hostile to humans.

The Sulfur God - The 2nd half of Alll-Mer (Jesus), and an ascended god. Basically the other villain of the second game, and essentially a stand in figure for Satan. It's unclear from the lore which actions were done by him or by Alll-Mer, but if so he essentially killed off an entire city of their rulers and sultans and then ruled in their place. Also established the Sulfur Cult which in a weird process, turns people into crazed murderers who seek freedom through bloodshed. Not great at parties.

The Sun God - an old god we don't know a lot about, as Alll-Mer takes his place (so technically dead). Basically the evil god-king that ruled over humanity with an iron fist. Monarchists bad.

Francois the Dominating One - New god. Actively hated by people playing the game and by characters in the game. Ascended to godhood to try and unite warring lands and create a new age of gods, but got really selfish and actively blocks other people from ascending into gods as he tries to gain more power. Ruled over the god's city as a king with an iron fist. Also he's French, which is bad enough.

The Yellow King - The new god that forms from the character Le'garde. All ambition but no real substance. Tried to become a god and bring a new age of peace for humanity, failed because people literally didn't want to listen to him. Tried to build a new god in the second game by using the sister of one of the protagonists (the outcome of this is still unknown). Literally a washed up Griffith clone and a failgirl. Also French.

Nas'hrah - New god, and an obtainable character to get for your party in the first game. I was gonna put him lower on here but I forgot how actively hostile he is to you and everyone around him, especially other gods. When he became a god he realized nothing changes, so he's now an absolute chaos creature. While he helpful at times there are some interacts where he straight up kills you. He's a lot for a guy that's just a floating head.

THE MORALLY GREY ZONE:

5. Sylvian and Gro-Goroth: the old gods of life and death, respectfully. Literally embodiments of life and death, so it's not really accurate to say "life is evil" or "death is evil". Both of them don't quite understand humanity due to being eldritch beings so a lot of their love and acts of help can come across as cruel and harmful, so by the events of the first game they're kinda distant.

6. God of the Depths - old god, currently dead by the end of the first game, and little is known about them. Is quoted in game to be "worshipped by those who are forsaken and forgotten", and kinda represents oppressive darkness. Kinda in a weird zone because a good chunk of their followers are literally bugs? Just kinda vibing.

7. Vinushka - God of nature, and the child of Sylvian and Gro-Goroth. Again just kinda vibing because they literally are the embodiment of nature, and like nature they can either help or harm humans. Was kinda considered an equal to humanity, but through a secret in the second game it's revealed that they are "dead" or gone. Kinda sad. :(

(The next three are kinda on the same level tbh for me, but I'll list them separately)

8. Valteil the Enlightened One - New god and one of the group buddies with Francois. Just kinda an academic and studies in the library all the time, and creates new life that are some of the enemies you encounter. He's a little mean to his creations but okay I guess.

9. Chambara the Tormented One - New god and one of the group buddies with Francois and Valteil. Used to be a poet and believed that great art comes from suffering?? So he's literally a flayed alive dude being tormented for all eternity???? I don't think the guy learned much from Van Gogh.

10. Nosramus the Forgotten One - New god and one of the group buddies mentioned prior. How he acts around you entirely depends on how you interact with him in the game, but at worst he just ignores you and prevents getting an ending for one of the characters. Actively helpful at times so he's lower on here.

ACTUALLY KINDA OKAY OR NICE ZONE:

11. The God of Fear and Hunger - The only Ascended god other than Alll-Mer and the Sulfur God. Once a little girl with no name, born form the deepest darkest depths of the dungeon and raised only knowing fear and hunger, with no hope. She's actually a recruitable party member and is required if you want to reach the true ending of the first game. If you take down the God of the Depths she will absorb it's soul and transform in the new god, and wipe out your entire party. Even though she is a new god, she does pity you for taking care of her the entire game and let's you pass away peacefully, and brings on a new age of enlightenment for humanity by the time of the second game. Kinda a sad and bittersweet end for a little girl that never knew happiness, but does display mercy.

12. The Heartless One - this one is kinda weird because she's a secret boss in the second game, and actually inspired from a real life content creator and community member who beta tested the second game. Because she's known for being really good at battles, this god is basically a challenge boss to challenge the player. Although if you beat her, she is kind enough to reward you with really good equipment (which frankly, is actually a lot more since most battles in these games don't reward you with anything at all).

13. Betel and Nilvan, The New God of Enlightenment and The Endless One respectfully - putting these two together because they're kinda similar but I also don't care about them. Betel just creates giant libraries of Alexandria to help enlighten humanity and collect knowledge, and Nilvan just kinda believes in the endless potential of humanity. Although Nilvan does get bonus points because she's the only one of the Fellowship you don't have to fight (excluding the Forgotten One).

14. Logic - The Machine God, currently unknown if fully ascended by the end of the second game. Also because of the circumstances it's unknown what to categorize her as. She is actively kind though to an extent, as even though she is a boss, it's more so because your character is actively stopping her from ascending, so it's more self-defence. Merciful to an extent, was literally created to connect all of humanity together through the ascension and development of technology, although again the level of success is unknown at this point.

Gods I couldn't categorize here because there's so little info or I just don't care: the other hundreds of unnamed New Gods, Vitruvia, The Radiating One, The Tainted One, The Mourning One, Yggaegetsu, the unknown other half that formed from the God of Fear and Hunger, the unnamed wolf deity, and the unnamed rat deity.

This literally took me all morning to write akdjhgakl

[actofgrxce]

So, OFMD is my all time favorite show and I am in love with every single character and have been wanting to try and join the fandom as Stede Bonnet, but I am SO nervous. Only because you, and several others, are just so incredible and I am intimidated but ahhh, I want to do badly write as my pirate princess. Any advice? Or just go for it? I’ve been writing for years, but graphics/theme making are not my forte.

Hey, friend!! Thanks for the kind words!!

I would just GO for it, with the understanding that there's a learning curve to the "rp etiquette" of Tumblr (and some users, as is the way with social media, will be more forgiving and flexible with "mistakes" than others). I would introduce yourself, as you have done here, to people who seem fun and chill, and express your interest in interacting with them IC. 1) Tell them you would be writing Stede. 2) Read their rules page (usually there is a pinned post at the top of a writer's blog offering a mobile-friendly link to their rules, which is basically how they prefer to interact with other writers, how often, in what format, what the writer's or "mun's" triggers are, etc) and tell them that you have: this seems to be a real sign of good faith around here. 3) Collect a small list of people (maybe 4 or 5) to start with, and follow them. If your rp blog is a "sideblog" to a main account, also let them know that, so that when a non-rp blog (you) follows them, they know who the heck it is! I cannot underscore enough how important it is to find people with whom you jive ooc, as yourselves. It simply will not be fun if you don't. So take your time with this part! 4) Make your blog. Customize your theme as much or little as you like, but a good rule of thumb is to at least make an "About the Muse" page (muse's story), a "Rules" (do's and don't's of interacting with you) page, and a "Verses" (discrete story timelines, usually grouped by how much you adhere to canon or by romantic "ships") page. Your muse is a "canon" muse: that is, a muse that already exists in the official fandom universe. 5) If you don't have it already, GET XKIT REWRITTEN (a browser extension that lets you alter Tumblr's increasingly perplexing and user-unfriendly interface, lol. There are versions for both Chrome and Firefox. 6) Start writing. You rp on Tumblr by reblogging a person's IC (in-character) post to your blog, and adding a text reply. They then reblog you. And so on and so forth. Here is where you consult their rules page to know things like: are they okay if I trim posts? Are they okay with me dm'ing them to ask for replies? What's the most courteous way to use tags in order to easily find past writing or filter my blog? How explicit can writing with this partner get re violence or s*xual themes? Etc. Everyone is different.

Re making your blog fancy: You do NOT need to be well-versed in Photoshop, themes and coding in order to run a blog. A lot of people now rp on Tumblr Mobile, where theme graphics don't show up anyway. Those who still use graphics vary, but most of us really don't care if our writing partners use them as long as we can continue to do so.

However, if you're still anxious, I've got a couple graphics and rpg sources right off the bat that can help you tremendously:

@poohsources (your one stop shop for EVERYTHING theme, icon, rp etiquette, formatting, etc related. A very kind soul) @octomoosey (best free blog theme coder on Tumblr!)

and if you're willing to pay for codes and graphics, I can also recommend a few good friends.

Also, if you have further questions, come to me. My anonynous ask option is usually on. <3

(Anyone reading this, feel free to add on your suggestions!)

[gryphonanon]

Oh, hello there, I'm Grif, but you can also call me Gryphon if you'd like. It’s nice to meet you. Did you need me for anything? Or are you just here to chat? Both are fine with me!

[Boundaries and other Character Info below cut!]

Boundaries and Other Things:

-Anyone coming into my askbox/messages with racism, LGBTQA+phobia, ableism, and any other hate speech will be blocked and reported. I have zero tolerance for such things. Obviously, RPing this stuff is different, but I would like to be warned via DM/ask before the RP ask with hate speech is sent.

-Any suggestive asks will be deleted, unless they are from people who have my permission to send such asks. I get very uncomfortable when people I don't know well send me that sort of stuff, especially since I do not know how old they are.

-I'm kinda slow with replies, so please be patient with me. I can also be a bit forgetful sometimes, especially if I’ve got a lot going on. So, if I haven’t responded to something after about a day, feel free to send a gentle reminder via my askbox or messages.

-If you want me to respond to something, please use @gryphonanon, so I can easily find it. You don’t have to tag me when answering asks I have sent, I tag myself in most messages I send!

-For those of you using anon to talk to me, please say who you are in your asks, so I know who I am talking to. I can be fairly oblivious to things like writing patterns, and so I probably won’t know who you are unless you outright tell me.

-If I do anything wrong, or I’ve upset you in any way, please let me know. I struggle with social things, so sometimes I make mistakes, but I always strive to learn from my mistakes and get better!

-I'm not used to using trigger/content warnings, though I do try and tag some things. If you need me to tag a specific trigger, please let me know, and I'll be particularly careful to tag it.

-And most importantly, everyone have fun, be kind to yourselves, take breaks if you need them, and keep being awesome! <3

Grif Info:

-Grif is a 29 year old trans man human that was trapped in the Digital Circus and now has the form of a plush gryphon. (His birthday is May 25th, he entered the circus at 27 years old)

-Grif uses he/him pronouns, though he's fine with any non-female pronouns.

-When standing on all fours, he's 3'5ft to the top of his head. When he rears up on his hind legs, he's 5ft.

-Grif is Welsh. Voice Claim post is here!

-Grif’s basic character info can be found here. It is not necessary to know this stuff when interacting with him, but it's there if you wanted to know more about him. This is very outdated now. I'll get around to writing up a better bio for him at some point.

-You can read through all the RP posts in chronological order using this link! Unfortunately, it doesn't work on the Tumblr app, but it does work on mobile browsers!

-And this link has everything that's happened to Grif summarized!

Tags:

#The Gryphon Talks - for IC things

#The Mod Talks - for OOC. I also use [square brackets] and/or label as -GryphonMod for OOC stuff.

#My Art - for art I have made

#Not My Art - for art other people have made of Grif

#Lore - for lore drops, mostly pre-Circus stuff

Extra Stuff:

Links to non-RP lore stuff:

An angsty piece done for Valentine's Day

Panic attack after the Clown killing Carbine incident

Angst and lore following the Clown-Carbine incident

Just a bit of writing after the initial Colorbine incident

A moment from before the Circus

Random Other Lore Stuff:

Grif's Romance Chart

Area Theme and Boss Theme

Grif's Lake House Floorplan Abandoned, but keeping the link here just in case.

Grif's Candleton Cottage Floorplan His current residence!

[prideful-khopesh]

Name's Husam, I'm a guard of this temple. Feel free to test ya luck and cause some trouble, means I get to show off my skills and have some fun!

[Boundaries and other stuff below cut. Also going to apologize above cut for the poorly translated Arabic you'll occasionally find here, I'll translate what I was trying to say in the tags of my posts.]

Boundaries and Other Things:

-Anyone coming into my askbox/messages with racism, LGBTQA+phobia, ableism, and any other hate speech will be blocked and reported. I have zero tolerance for such things. Obviously, RPing this stuff is different, but I would like to be warned via DM/ask before the RP ask with hate speech is sent.

-Any suggestive asks will be deleted, unless they are from people who have my permission to send such asks. I get very uncomfortable when people I don't know well send me that sort of stuff, especially since I do not know how old they are.

-I'm kinda slow with replies, so please be patient with me. I can also be a bit forgetful sometimes, especially if I’ve got a lot going on. So, if I haven’t responded to something after about a day, feel free to send a gentle reminder via my askbox or messages.

-If you want me to respond to something, please use @prideful-khopesh, so I can easily find it. You don’t have to tag me when answering asks I have sent, I tag myself in most messages I send!

-For those of you using anon to talk to me, please say who you are in your asks, so I know who I am talking to. I can be fairly oblivious to things like writing patterns, and so I probably won’t know who you are unless you outright tell me.

-If I do anything wrong, or I’ve upset you in any way, please let me know. I struggle with social things, so sometimes I make mistakes, but I always strive to learn from my mistakes and get better!

-I'm not used to using trigger/content warnings, though I do try and tag some things. If you need me to tag a specific trigger, please let me know, and I'll be particularly careful to tag it.

-And most importantly, everyone have fun, be kind to yourselves, take breaks if you need them, and keep being awesome! <3

Husam Info:

Husam is a 21 year old cis man, he is also gay, polyamorous and demiromantic. Birthday is August 18th.

He's 5'8

His favorite weapon and the one he is most skilled in is the khopesh. He also is very skilled with spear, dagger and sling, and pretty decent with short sword and recurve bow.

Under his headdress and cape he has short dark brown hair, and he has crocodile scutes going down his spine.

His accent is a mix of English and Egyptian. Closest match I have so far is Ahkmenrah from Night at the Museum, the accent is close but Husam is gruffer and growlier. I appreciate any suggestions!

Husam gets censored every time he swears, I use hieroglyphics to show it. Here's the site I use if you wanted to translate his swears or use it for yourself: https://engdic.org/hieroglyphics-translator/

You can read all of Husam's posts in chronological order using this link (doesn't work on the app). And this post here has everything that has happened to Husam summed up.

IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A CHARACTER ROMANCE HUSAM PLEASE READ THIS POST FIRST: Romance Rules

Tags:

#The Guard Talks - for IC things

#The Mod Talks - for OOC. I also use [square brackets] and/or label as -GryphonMod for OOC stuff.

#My Art - for art I have made

#Not My Art - for art other people have made of Husam

#Lore - for lore drops, mostly pre-Circus stuff

Other Stuff:

Husam's mud brick hut: this post has more info about it.

Husam's beast form:

Husam's short sword and spear:

[aknightintarnishedarmor]

Name's Arya. Why ya botherin' me? Suggest ya move along, mate. Unless ya 'ere 'cos ya 'ave a problem wit' me, which case square up an' let's settle it.

Boundaries and Other Things:

-Anyone coming into my askbox/messages with racism, LGBTQA+phobia, ableism, and any other hate speech will be blocked and reported. I have zero tolerance for such things. Obviously, RPing this stuff is different, but I would like to be warned via DM/ask before the RP ask with hate speech is sent.

-Any suggestive asks will be deleted, unless they are from people who have my permission to send such asks. I get very uncomfortable when people I don't know well send me that sort of stuff, especially since I do not know how old they are.

-I'm kinda slow with replies, so please be patient with me. I can also be a bit forgetful sometimes, especially if I’ve got a lot going on. So, if I haven’t responded to something after about a day, feel free to send a gentle reminder via my askbox or messages.

-If you want me to respond to something, please use @aknightintarnishedarmor, so I can easily find it. You don’t have to tag me when answering asks I have sent, I tag myself in most messages I send!

-For those of you using anon to talk to me, please say who you are in your asks, so I know who I am talking to. I can be fairly oblivious to things like writing patterns, and so I probably won’t know who you are unless you outright tell me.

-If I do anything wrong, or I’ve upset you in any way, please let me know. I'm still getting used to how RPing on Tumblr works and I struggle with social things, so sometimes I make mistakes, but I always strive to learn from my mistakes and get better!

-I'm not used to using trigger/content warnings, though I do try and tag some things. If you need me to tag a specific trigger, please let me know, and I'll be particularly careful to tag it.

-And most importantly, everyone have fun, be kind to yourselves, take breaks if you need them, and keep being awesome! <3

Arya Info:

-Arya is a 43 year old cis woman.

-While she has wings, she cannot fly. Her feathers are hardened like metal, the smaller ones can regrow, but the bigger ones cannot regrow.

-Knows how to use guns, but prefers close combat with blades.

-She has short brunette hair, and is covered in scars, but she basically never lets anyone see her out of her armor.

Tags:

#The Knight Talks - for IC things

#The Mod Talks - for OOC. I also use [square brackets] and/or label as -GryphonMod for OOC stuff.

#My Art - for art I have made

#Not My Art - for art other people have made of Arya

#Lore - for lore drops, mostly pre-Circus stuff

Other Stuff:

[momentsofamber]

Under a read more because I don't want to accidentally trigger anyone or anything but cw for talk of accidental and in no way fore-planned animal poisoning. If this topic is upsetting to you, please do not click the read more out of guilt or any moral obligation, we will be okay! I just wanted to get my thoughts out somewhere. Please keep yourselves safe and with the knowledge that as of me typing this up the animal is still acting like his normal healthy self and has been looked over by someone with some vet training.

This is about our 3 year old cat, we'll call him Kol. ( I don't want to use his real name because my main blog has his name on it and that blog unfortunately has stalkers who could potentially find this blog and harass me if they connected the two because they have a history of finding new ways to harass me even when I turn anon off or hide my blogs. )

My partner has several plants in the house, gardening is a SpIn for him. In the fall he took any plants that had a chance of coming back in the next spring inside in pots and put them on his window sill. Up until today Kol has shown no interest in trying to get at his Dad's plants.

This morning around 6:30AM shortly before my partner woke up Kol climbed up on the windowsill and took a chomp out of a plant we believe to be an orange Day-lily. ( Originally we thought it was a Tiger Lily; we do not know for certain because it was one my partner transplanted into a pot from the side of our apartment complex towards the end of this past spring. But from googling the leaves they appear to be Day-lily leaves which look more like giant grass strands. )

Presumably Kol thought it was cat grass, because he loves grass ( he was a stray we took in and will still excitedly eat grass when taken outside on his leash ), and because his Dad does grow cat grass in the exact same pots downstairs in our kitchen. ( He has never been fed a pot of cat grass anywhere in the home except in the kitchen next to his dry food source. )

We are both more than aware that lilies are highly toxic to cats. I woke up a little after 8AM to my partner already trying to find ways to induce vomiting because we can't afford a huge vet bill. This was a no-go so we started making phone calls instead.

We called animal poison control. They took money from me for a phone consult, and then they advised us to take him to his vet. We called his vet, they said he'd need 48 hour care and supervision and they do not provide care past 6PM, so we should call a vet ER.

We do not have the funds to take him to ER (if you google it, lily poisoning treatment is upwards of 1K), we called animal poison control back, they basically said 'well call your vet and have them call us and we'll explain your situation', my partner called the vet back and the lady said the same thing, 'we can't treat the cat here, so I can't speak with that person, you need to take him to the ER.'

So now not only did I waste a payment of limited funds I already didn't have on calling poison control for advice I couldn't follow, we have no answers as to whether or not our cat is poisoned because he's not behaving strangely. He's still eating and drinking, interacting normally, he's not hiding from us. In fact he just keeps looking at us in confusion because of how panicked we are about him.

We did get a family friend with basic vet training to look at him. ( Not a licensed vet, but she took classes back in Poland before coming here on visa and becoming an RNA. She knows enough that she could be a vet assistant. ) She seemed to think he would be find as long as he made it past 12 hours without showing any severe symptoms because he was completely interactive with her, he responded promptly to her tests of his response time, he's still walking and jumping normally, and she felt around his stomach.

So right now it's just a waiting game. I've got delta wave music playing out my speakers because Kol LOVES delta wave and binaural music just as much as I do to help relax, and he's napping on my bed like he usually does during the day.

I'm just so scared. If anything happens to Kol, my partner is never going to forgive himself for keeping a lily in the house with a cat. And the whole reason he kept this plant was because I said Tiger Lilies are my favorite flower ...

My partner has already trashed the plant in frustration ( since I had already taken pics of it for poison control ) and removed all of the rest of his plants from his room altogether where Kol cannot reach them. If we lose our cat I'm afraid he'll never garden again.

Please, please, please, let our son be okay ... we cannot lose this cat ...

[dimancheetoile]

how ‘bout you don’t read then? yeah i’m not hiding your name, i don’t give a shit about protecting your identity because you’re trash who doesn’t understand the concept of clicking off a fic you don’t like. don’t comment your fucking stupid complaints if you don’t enjoy what i write, go find something that makes you happy and fuck off. the last thing i need in my life right now is someone crying that i don’t worship naruto enough in the comments of one of the fics i’m the most proud of. thanks for ruining my week, i hate you.

[jaythesmol]

✨ Welcome! ✨

Hihi!! My name's Jay n this is my tiny blog 💜

Intermittently active, as my regression is kinda inconsistent

💕 About me 💕

❤️ I'm Jay! I'm transmasc + enby, they/he pls! ❤️

🧡 I regress from like a few months - 10 yrs! But most often I'm just 2-6 ☺️ writing this I'm abt 5! (I also middle regress to various teen ages but I don't post about that here) 🧡

💚 I'm neurodivergent! Specifically autistic and adhd 💚

🩵 My big age is 24! So even tho this blog is safe for all ages, I understand if some people don't want a kiddo my age interactin, pls lemme know if u don't want me followin u! No hard feelings 🩵

💜 I regress for fun but also to cope with the big world! It helps me cope with my mental health issues, chronic pain n fatigue, and other stuff. I'm a sick kiddo most of the time but it's okay! Also I regress both voluntary n involuntarily 💜

🩷 I'm not just a regressor, I'm a flip! So tho I regress, I'm also a cg and hope to care for/babysit a kiddo or kiddos of my own someday <3 (tho I currently am not caring for anyone, nor do I have a cg, but I'm looking!) 🩷

pssst... you should go check out my sibby @taffysbed 's blog ^^

💕 What u can expect from this blog 💕

A mix of babey, toddler, n kiddo stuff! When I'm older (~7 and up) I'm usually not on here so the general vibe is 6 and below

Mostly just rb's, I don't rly have the energy to make original content rn but I'm thinking of maybe startin!

Good vibes!!! I'm mostly a happy babey when I'm tiny, n I won't post abt my occasional vent regression

Safety! I wanna make a safe place for my fellow tinies, whether they be regressors, dreamers, system kids, or any other safe kiddos

Whether you be an old follower or a new one, I hope you have a nice time here! Have a good day babeys n take care of yourselves 🥰

(recently edited so you can read it better)

DNI! (From big Jay)

Please do not interact if your blog is not safe for a child. If you're interacting for a side blog but have a not so safe main, please let me know, otherwise I might just block on reflex

DNI if:

cg//l, k!nk, n$fw, or anything similar. What you do in your own time is none of my business but I can't have that here, to keep small me and fellow tinies safe

ed blogs that don't promote recovery. I myself am in recovery and these are rather triggering for me, especially when I'm regressed

g0re, sh, su!c!de, or anything similar. Again, very triggering and not safe for a little one

lastly, anything you wouldn't show to a kid. Again, if your main isn't safe but you're interacting for a side blog, please message me or send me an ask letting me know

[holding-a-million-things-but-why]

Spooky Rural Things

Hello, I've returned!

I live in the middle of nowhere. Since Halloween is getting closer, I thought I should describe some things that could have spooky potential. Enjoy :]

Keep in mind, these are things I have seen. Not everyone. My experiences do not encompass every rural person's experience, and are very clearly different than even my neighbors' views down the road.

Lines of 30-60 ATVs travelling together. Now, they might be heading to some derby, but this is spooky season. Perhaps some people could go missing if they too owned an ATV, and the parade found them...

Everyone gets very excited about tornadoes. It's just another storm, but a Big One. It's just fun, really.

Regular weather here is just as crazy. You could start the week with an 80-degree-Fahrenheit forecast, and end with 40 degrees, a lot of snow, and maybe some flash flooding at the start of the weekend.

Green eyes glowing in the dark. Deer, owls, rabbits- take your pick, but you could make it spooky if you wanted too.

Abandoned, decaying barns and houses on the sides of the road. Time has not been kind to them. But one must wonder: What happened here? And will it happen again?

Crickets and cicadas generally go silent before something big and/or bad happens (usually a big storm). Still, you could use so much symbolism for this.

And speaking of noise, there are these huge flocks of birds (probably around 200+) that just appear in the morning. They are very loud. These birds usually cover the power lines, and hide in tall trees. Consider this a warning.

Trucks parked silently, not running, in fields. Yes, it's hunting season, but they seem to be there for days at a time..

The pipes emit a very shrill, ear-piercing sound whenever the air conditioning kicks on. It's quite painful. Use it.

Fog or steam over the creeks, lakes/ponds, and rivers. It's beautiful, it's eerie, you don't know where it came from, and it could be the "spawn point" for whatever eldritch being you can conjure up. In all seriousness, though- fog from a river a mile away can reach the highway.

Hallways with the lights off. It gets very creepy in long hallways, especially when you are alone, and something other than yourself makes a sound...

Motion sensor lights turning on at night, but literally nothing is there to trigger them...

Now we move on to the people I've seen.

There are students that disappear for months at a time with little to no contact with anyone (usually because of a compromised immune system). You could go all out with this one, but let's be clear- DO NOT make fun of someone for being gone if they are legitimately sick.

Junior high/middle school kids have been known to hide out in the small bathroom stalls, giggling and doing who knows what in there with the lights off. It's very creepy, with or without Halloween getting close. And there's like, 3 to 5 kids in that small stall. How? Why? Why not use the big stall in the first place? So many questions.

One of my old teachers has a laugh almost identical to the Joker's. She is a really nice lady and excellent coach, but if you don't know her, or if it were dark... Yeah your blood would probably freeze up.

There are some of us that are literally as cold as ice. I myself have hands to be described as "that of a dead body's". Really, it's a fact of life that some people are just cold, but for spookiness... Spice can be added in quite nicely.

Not everyone knows everyone, I can almost guarantee it. It's a miracle if you can put names to faces in your own class or grade, let alone an entire town. It's taken years for people I've gone to school with for ages to realize I have at least one sibling.

Ok, this got a bit long. And off topic on some points. But still, I think it should work as a qualifying "spooky season" post. If I think of more things, I'll try to add them on here. Feel free to comment any suggestions!

Remember guys, you need to hydrate and take care of yourselves. Especially with Halloween coming up. Be careful.