#<- do i even main tag this I haven’t drawn him in forever i am back to being scared afraid

[cowboycatss]

what is he looking at 🤨

[chickensarentcheap]

Sanctuary -Chapter 44

Warnings: slight mention of drug use

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @alievans007​, @thunderintheshadows​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @valkyrie-of-the-light​

He arrives fifteen minutes before the arranged meeting with McMann; knocking twice on the backdoor of the Slainte pub.  His eyes methodically observe every inch of the cluttered and dirty alley; slowly travelling back and forth between both ends, checking for any movement within the alcoves of the rear entrances of other establishments, skirting under the bottoms of dumpsters (a perfect hiding spot for someone lying in wait),  glancing up at the various fire escapes and windows.  When Billy Flynn had offered up the use of his bar, Tyler had been skeptical; would McMann really be willing to meet in a place that was widely known to be owned by a member of the IRA? After all, he'd burned many a bridge within the organization and he knew they were out to get him. You didn't fuck with the IRA; once you were branded a trouble maker, you remained forever on their shit list. Their resources are fast and stretch all over the globe; money, weapons, hired gun. Far more powerful and influential than most realize. McMann had every right not to agree with meeting  him there. As far as he knew, there could be dozens of guys just waiting for the chance to take a shot at him.   But Tyler had reassured him that the last thing he'd wanted was to stir up trouble; it was safer for both of them if they met somewhere public. Where neither of them could get the drop on each other.

“You're fucking late!”  Flynn admonishes, shoving open the heavy metal door. “What the hell, man?”

“Something came up. I had to take care of it. Were my guys here? Setting up the tech?”

“Left about half an hour ago. That one lad is quite the trip. The one who thinks he's the boss but is just a right old shit head. Bossing everyone around, thinking he can talk to me like one of his sheep. Fuck that. He's got the wrong man if he thinks I'm putting up with that shit.”

Tyler smirks. “That's my wife's ex husband.”

“Get the fuck out, for real? What did she ever see in him? He's  a right wanker.  And I'd like say she traded up when she went from him to you, but you're not exactly a prize yourself with that weird hair thing you've got going on for ya.”

Flynn leads the way through the kitchen, and Tyler gives a small smile and a polite nod to the only two staff members Flynn had called in; a short order cook and a waitress.  He'd promised they were loyal and reliable; no loose lips that would run to the authorities or even spread stories out in the community. Their silence was expected, and if it wasn't received, there would be harsh consequences.

“Did you tell him?” Flynn asks, as he pushes his way through the swinging door that leads out into the main area of the bar.  “To go to the backdoor? The last thing I need is some of the other boys seeing him on his way in here and ending things before they start.”

“I told him it was for his own safety. Less eyes out back. You talk to your people yet?”

“Tomorrow morning. Nine am. You're welcome to come along if you like. They'd probably like a face to put to the name. Your life isn't in jeopardy with us. We don't want to kill you, Rake. We would have done it the second you stepped off the plane if we really wanted to. What?” he smirks when he sees Tyler raise one of his eyebrows. “ You think we haven't had people watching you?  You're a smart man. You know how these things work. It's just business. What I don't know how is how you managed to keep the wife a secret. Not one of the boys saw her until she stepped foot in here that first night.”

“We protect what we love, yeah? I wasn't taking any chances. Not with her.”

“That's a kick in the nuts, you know. The fact she was able to get one over on me like that. Never in a million years did I dream she wasn't who she said she was. She's good. Too good. There's room for both of you if you want, within the family. You both have skill sets we sorely need. We'd make it worth your while. Money wise. Your kids will grow up wanting for nothing.”

“It's a tempting offer, but it's not for us. This is it for me. The last job. Then I'm on to bigger and better things. Running the job behind the scenes.”

“Talk about pissing away your talents. You're far too strong and far too good to be stuck behind the scenes. We need you out there on the streets, getting your hands dirty. But, if you feel that's what you have to do...”

“It's what's best for my family. I haven't been the best man or husband over the past few years. I have a lot  to make up for. If this is what will keep my marriage going and my family together, it's something I have to do. I'm not losing my wife or my kids because of the job.”

“Well if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me. You've got our respect, Rake. You walked in here like you owned the fucking place. Not scared of shit. You can't be pushed around. That's what we look for in our people.  It's why you should tag along tomorrow. Meet the boys for yourself. I know they're wanting to meet you. The man, the myth, the legend. You've always just been a ghost. No one ever knew for sure if you even existed. And now, here you are.”

“Yeah...” Tyler smirks. “...here I am.”

Flynn pours both of them a beer from the best that he has on tap, then offers a toast. “So this is really it for you? The last job?”

“That's what I promised my wife.”

“It's what broke me and the ex missus. The kind of life I lead. She didn't think it was safe enough to raise my boy around. I told her there's probably no safer place than being surrounded by the people I have around me. But she saw it a different way. She didn't see it as protection. She saw it as putting targets on their targets.  Same thing for you?”

“It's a lot of things,” Tyler says, and sips his beer. “A lot of little things that all roll up into one big thing.”

“You gotta be happy doing what you do, I figure. Because if you're not happy, no one is happy. Say you do give this up...this life you lead...and you get settled into this new job and you find you absolutely fucking hate it. What happens then? You're the type that can sit still for long. I can tell just by looking at you. A guy doesn't do what you've be doing for as long as you have, by just sitting on your ass. You're going to be bored as fuck and you're going to just be itching to back out there. And you'll be able to fight it at first. But you're going to cave. Eventually.”

“Naw, mate. I have too much to lose. The man I was before I took on a wife and kids? That man had nothing to lose. He would have stayed on the job until he was too fucking old to do it, or someone managed to finally take him out.  I'm not that man anymore.  I've got people relying on me. I've got mouths to feed. I want to see my kids grow up. I want to see my grand kids, even. And that won't happen if I stay in this life. Because she's either going to leave me, or I'm going to die. Those are the only two options.”

“And when you get bored and go back to it? What then? You're still going to end up losing her. And your kids. Better to just stick out and see if you can make it work, don't you think?”

“This is the right decision,” he insists. “The only decision.”

“Fair enough. It's your life. You know what you gotta do. I'm just saying, keep your options open. Don't jump the gun.  Think both sides through. I mean, if she stuck with you this long, chances are she's not going anywhere regardless of what you decide to do.”

“She deserves better than this. Better than this life. And so do my kids. So I appreciate what you're saying and what you're trying to do, but you don't know what's going on behind the scenes. Just how bad things actually are. And I kind of don't want to talk about. That's not what I'm here for. So if you don't mind...”

“Alright...alright...” Billy holds up his hands is surrender. “So, I've got the front door all locked up. Note on it says there's a private event going on and to basically fuck off and come back later.  I got two of your boys upstairs, another one across the street, and I got the missus' ex back in my office. All listening in.  A buddy of mine is going to leave a van out in the alley way that you can use to get McMann to wherever you're going to take him. I don't know what you've got planned for him, and I don't even think I want to know. Judging by that look in your eyes, the old boy is in for a world of hurt.”

“I just want payback. And I want it to be as drawn out and painful as possible.”

“I don't care what you to do him, but if we agree to your terms, we need McMann alive. If he isn't alive, you don't get our help, understand? If we come to get him and he's not breathing, our people bail and then your kids will be left to fend for themselves. We don't do favours for just anyone. You want our help, you better hold up your end of the bargain. Don't fuck us.”

“McMann will be alive. He might be missing some parts, but he'll be very much alive. Your people have to hold up to their end of things too. They have to kill him when they're done doing whatever they're going to do to him. Because I don't want this bloke suddenly showing up on my doorstep a year from now, looking for revenge. His life ends. That's the deal.”

“Oh his life will end,” Flynn assures him.  “Just maybe not as soon as he would hope. Here...” he reaches into the front pocket of his jeans and produces a small glass vial of white powder. “...this is the stuff I was telling you about. This isn't your average roofie. This will knock a horse onto its own ass. Don't put the whole thing in his drink. He'll drop dead.  Couple sprinkles should do it. That'll have him out cold for a few hours at least. You sure you're alright with this part? Don't fuck it up. And whatever you do, don't accidentally roofie yourself, okay?”

“I'm good with it,” Tyler assures him, and pockets the vial of drugs.

“Keep what's left. You can use it to really fuck with his head when you get him to wherever he's going. Make it real fun for the old boy. Just for me. I won't be too upset if he gets to us missing an ear or a couple of fingers, I'm just saying.”

Tyler's SAT phone vibrates in his jeans, and he pulls it out to check it.

“I take it that fucker has arrived,” Flynn observes.

“Just getting out of his car now. My guy across the street has an eye on him. Says he's alone.”

“He's not dumb enough to bring people in here. He'd never get out alive. Now remember what I said; only a little bit of that shit. Don't OD him, for fuck sakes. That's too quick and too painless for the likes of that bastard. Third booth on the left. Your boy put a listening device under it. Said you just have to turn it on and you're good to go. You good? You got this?”

Tyler nods, takes a swig of his beer.  “I got this.”

****

“You got a lot of fucking nerve, Rake,”  McMann hisses, as he slips into the seat across from Tyler. “Calling me up, demanding I meet you. I'd rather put a bullet between your eyes.”

He smirks. “That's not mates, Michael. I thought we were mates. What ever happened to you practically crying on my shoulder, needing my help? Giving me some fucking sob story about your wife and your kids? You're good. I'll give you that. But I'm better.”

“We'll see about that, won't we.  And here...” McMann gestures towards the bar. “...of all places, you sneaky fucker. You knew all along who owns this place. You knew I could be killed just walking into here.”

“If you're so scared of that, why'd you even show up? Why didn't you tell me to just go and fuck myself? I mean, you want me dead, yeah? It's the whole reason you showed up in Guatemala isn't? It was never about your family. You never really wanted my help. You just wanted to kill me.”

McMann stares at him, nostrils flaring, lips set in a grim line.

“I know all your dirty secrets, mate. Every single last one. I know that Jason Andrews' brother hired you. That's who contacted you, yeah? Don't look so surprised. I'm not just a pretty face, you know.  I know he hired you to avenge his brother. Who was a psychotic dick bag that deserved the two I put into him.  Did he even tell you what his brother did? Did you tell you that he was going to kill my wife? My pregnant wife. Jason was a fucking coward. And he got what he deserved. In the same way you will.”

“I have to hand it to you, Aussie,” McMann smirks. “You're smarter than I give you credit for.”

“And when you didn't get the job done....when you killed the kid that caught onto you...you followed me back to Colorado. You watched every move I made. You watched my wife. You watched my kids. That's some sick shit. And that's a line you never should have crossed. Why'd you kill the girl? Erin? Did you do that yourself or...?”

“I was the one who ordered it. I didn't do it myself.”

“Typical for blokes like you. You don't have the stones to do it yourself. You just delegate, yeah? You don't get your hands dirty? I bet you had some fun with her first though, didn't you. I bet your boys weren't the only ones that raped her. You left some real sick shit for me to find. Did you do it? Did you violate her too? Or did you just stand back and watch?”

The corner of McMann's twitches.

“That was a message, right? That you were sending me. You wanted me to know what your boys were capable of. That they'd hurt me where it hurts the most.  That they wouldn't stop at hurting my wife. You knew she'd be with me. You knew she'd figure you out before I would. That's why you left that girl there for me to find. It was a message. How'd you know? That we'd be there?”

“You think the brother is the only person I have handing me things, Rake. This goes way deeper than you could even possibly begin to imagine. There's a lot of rats in your ship. And it's always the ones you least expect.  I'm not the only threat out there.  There's other people watching you. There's other people just waiting to take their shot at you. If you think I'm the only one that wants your head, you're one naive motherfucker.”

“Mate, I've had a target on my back for years.  If I worried about shit like that, I'd never leave the house. Who was it? That told you we'd be at your house.”

“You know....”  McMann waves Billy over as he stands behind the bar, arms crossed over his chest as he pretends to be interested in the soccer match on the television. “..you should really watch who your trust. There's someone getting a little too close to that pretty little wife of yours.  I'd really hate to see anything happen to her. You're the one we want. Not her. But if that's the route we have to take...”

“It's on the house,” Billy says, as he slams the mug of beer down onto the table top with enough force to send some of the amber ale splashing over onto the sides, onto the wood, and down onto McMann's lap.  “And some on you, apparently. I won't charge a clean up fee for the mess you just made.”

“Stupid fuck,” McMann mutters, furiously ripping napkins from the holder on the window ledge, sopping up the mess on the table top as Billy saunters off, returning to the soccer match. “I'm not finished with you, Aussie,” he says, as he slides out of the booth. “Not by a long shot.”

Tyler shrugs, lifts his own drink to his mouth. “I got all day and all night, mate.”

He mutters profanities and thinly veiled death threats as he stomps off in the direction of the restrooms.  Tyler waits; calmly sipping his drink, counting the seconds in his head, until he hears the tell tale creak of rusted metal hinges on the lavatory's old wooden door, then glances over his shoulder at the younger man behind the bar.

Billy doesn't even look in his direction; offering a curt nod.

He pulls the vial out of his pocket and pops off the cap;  carefully shaking some of the white powdery substances into the beer, using the handle of a fork to vigorously stir the liquid;, watching as the drug quickly dissolves, leaving no tell tale sign that the drink had ever been tampered with.  Then uses a napkin to clear any wayward drops of beer of the table top and try the handle of the fork, replacing it among the other unused utensils arranged in front of him.

From across the room, Billy clears his throat noisily; signalling McMann's return. And Tyler hurriedly puts the cap back onto the vial and slips it back into his pocket.

“So what were you saying, mate?” he calmly asks as the other man returns to his seat. “Something about my pretty little wife? Sounded like you were about to make a threat of some sort. You sure you want to do that? Bring her into this? Because there's some things that send me into a blind rage. And someone threatening her is at the top of that list. But if you think it's a smart thing to do...”

“You talk a big game, Aussie. I've always wondered if you can play it as big as you talk.”

“I fucked up four of your men. That you sent to kill me. I put them in the morgue. So yeah, I can play it as big as I can talk it. This is twice you fucked up. Two times now you haven't been able to kill me. That must be a real kick in the nuts, huh? If a bullet to the throat in Dhaka couldn't kill me, what makes you think you can?”

“There's ways. Ways to get to you. Catch you with your guard down. Hurt you where it will hurt the most. You're right, Erin was a message. We wanted you to find her. See what we did to her. Is that what you want happening to your wife? Is that the last memory of her that you want? Watching what we do to her? We'd make sure you were wide awake for the whole thing. So you could see it. So you could hear her. So you could hear her screaming at us to stop, screaming for you to help her. And you not being able to do a damn thing about it. And then we'd kill both of you.”

It takes everything Tyler has not to reach across the table and choke the life out of the man, or to slam his head off the table and then give him an ass kicking off a lifetime. Stopping just before death reaches him so that McMann can catch his breath, then beating him until there is no life left inside of him.  But he holds it together; diverting his eyes so McMann can't see the fury brewing in them, taking a long, slow sip of his beer. Trying not to smirk when the other man does the same.

“That doesn't bother you?” McMann asks. “Hearing that? Hearing what we'd do to her?”

“Nothing bothers me after so many years on the job. I've heard it all. Seen it all. Nothing surprises me anymore. You're the first that's ever used his own kids though. Now that is some sick shit. Why? Why do that to your own kids? How fucked in the head do you have to be? Where are they? The kids?”

“You'll never find them. No one ever will.”

“Why keep doing this to them? I've already figured out what you're up to. What's the point of keeping up with this game? Why keep torturing them like that? Those are your kids. You're blood. Why do this? What kind of sick fuck are you?”

“I have reasons. For doing the things I do.”

“I'll find them, you know. I'll find those kids. Whether you tell me where they are or not.”

McMann smirks. “Good luck.”

“Of course, it would be a lot easier on you if you'd just tell me. If you'd just tell me where you've got them so I can just go and get them. I'm not going to leave them there. You knew I wouldn't. You knew once you brought me into this, that I wouldn't give up on finding them.”

“I was counting on it.”

“Where are they? Where's the kids?”

“I'm not handing you all the answers. Aussie. There's some things you need to find out for yourself.”

“They're not in Ireland, are they. You've moved them. That's why we haven't gotten proof of life in four days. You were having those pictures hand delivered. Now there's no one left here to bring them to me. Where are they?”

McMann opens his mouth to speak; quickly clamping it shut.  He's sweating profusely; beads of perspiration glistening across his forehead, trickling down his temples,  dripping from the tip of his nose. Eyes wide and wild; a mixture of the effects of the drugs and the pure, unadulterated fear.  

“Not feeling so good, are you, mate,” Tyler smirks, casually slipping his beer.  “I bet your heart's just about ready to jump out of your chest isn't it. I bet you're not seeing right either; you're probably seeing three of me, seeing shit that's not even there.”

“What...did...you...do....”

“I told you. I told you not to fuck with my family. I told you that if I found out that this was all a big game, I'd come after you. That I'd make you pay. Well guess what, mate. That time has come. You're going to pay. And you're going to regret the day you ever came to Colorado. You're going to regret that you ever walked into that ice cream place and laid eyes on my kids.”

McMann stumbles to his feet, as if in an attempt to lunge at Tyler, but then crumples, already unconscious when his forehead slams off the table.

“Well fuck...” Billy's grinning as he rushes over. “...that was quicker than I thought it would happen. You didn't kill him, did you? You didn't give him the whole vial, I hope.”

“I gave exactly what you said to give him,” Tyler stands and leans across the table, pressing his index and middle finger to McMann's throat.  “He's breathing. Fucked up. But breathing. You weren't joking about that stuff, mate. It packs a punch.”

“Van's out back. Let's get this asshole out of here. Your guys are already outside. You got him? You take his feet. He's a heavy fucker.”

The job takes minimal effort with the two of them; one holding the unconscious man under the arms, the other taking him by the legs. And Mark is already at the back door, holding it open, allowing them to pass through and into the alley.

“You fucked him up pretty good!” Nathan excitedly exclaims from where he sits in the front passenger seat, watching everything unfold over his shoulder. “He alive?”

“You thought I'd let him off that easily?” Tyler asks, as he and Billy load McMann into the back. “He has to pay, yeah? For what he did to your buddy? For threatening my family? Death would be too easy for this asshole.”

“Drop the van back off here,” Billy says.  “I'll clean out any sign that he was in it. That any of you were in it. Just in case.”

“Thanks for watching my back, mate,” Tyler offers a hand, and the younger man firmly shakes it. “Hear from you in a couple days, yeah?”

“One way or the other. In the meantime, have fun with the old boy. Get some shots in just for me. Make the fucker pay. For ever going near your kids.”

“I plan on it,” Tyler says, and then pulls the sliding door shut.

Billy bangs his hand against the side of the vehicle, signally for the driver to pull away.

*****

He calls her from the storage facility; the signal mediocre at best as he stands in the hallway just mere feet from where an unconscious Michael McMann,  hood over his eyes, is now restrained to a metal chair.  Hands behind his back, wrists and ankles secured with plastic zip ties, a heavy metal chain wrapped around his torso in order to keep him upright.  And he watches as Yaz wraps the tracking bracelet around McMann's ankle and adjusts the signal.

“Did I wake you up?” he asks, hearing the grogginess in her voice.

“Yeah...” she yawns noisily.  “...I must have dozed off. I've just been so tired.  Is it done?”

“It's done,” Tyler confirms.

“You're okay?”  

“Not a scratch on me. Well, none that weren't there before.”

She breathes a sigh of relief.  “So they have him now? Mark and his buddies?”

“Yep. It's in their hands now. Until the IRA decides what they want to do. If they don't want him...well I guess it's up to me to do something with him.  Did you eat?”

“No. I was going to wait for you to get back. Now that we don't have to worry about McMann and we know the IRA is on our side, I figured it would be safe for us to leave the hotel. That way we can actually go somewhere together. You can take me out on another date.”

He grins. “I could do that.”

“So it's a date?”

“Yeah, it's a date.”

“The baby wants tacos. Just so you know.”

“Somehow I doubt she's making food demands this early in the game, but if that's what you want to eat....”

“You're really convinced that it's a girl, aren't you.”

“I am. And not just because of that dream. Something's just telling me that it is.”

“Well, you make an amazing dad. But you make an epic girl dad.”

He smiles.

“I love you, Tyler.”

“I love you, too Esme. I'll see you soon.”

“Bet your ass you will,” she says, and disconnects the call.

He slips his phone into the pocket of his jeans and steps into the locker that has become McMann's temporary home.  Zak's taken first watch; already sitting in the corner on a plastic lawn chair, a bag of take out food on the table next to him.

“He's going to be out for a while,” Yaz says, as he steps beside Tyler. “How much did you give him?”

“A little more than I was supposed to. But not enough to kill him. Here,” he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the vial. “In case he wakes up and starts causing trouble. There's enough left to fuck him up pretty good.”

“You'll be back tomorrow?”

Tyler nods. “First thing in the morning. What do you want me to bring you for breakfast?”

“Something hot and greasy. I'll text you.”

“You know, he said something that I can't get out of my head. About there being more rats in the ship. He said that someone was getting too close to Esme. That I shouldn't trust them.”

“That could be anybody,” Yaz concludes.  “Anyone that we've just started working with anyway. Maybe that Tanis chick?”

“Naw. I don't think it's her. That would be too obvious. Your sister have any other new people working for her now?”

“None. Just Jason Andrews' brother. And he's being 'taken care of'. I heard the things he said, Tyler. About Esme. About the things they would have done to her. You okay? With hearing that?”

“No really,” he admits. “That was hard to hear.”

“She's safe now. With him off the street. And she's safe with you. Just stick close to her side. Nothing will happen to her. See you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow,” Tyler confirms, then claps him on the shoulder and heads for the door. “How's the nose?” he asks with a smirk, as Mark steps in before he can exit.

“You're a real arrogant prick, Rake,” he retorts.  

“I've been called worse by better.”

“Where the hell you think you're going?” Mark calls after him, as he heads down the hall.

“I'm going to spend time with my girl,” he replies.  “With my wife. You had one of those once, remember? Oh that's right. The same one I have now. Take care of that nose.”

And with that he steps out into the brilliant Belfast sunshine.

[blooddrop-palace]

Project Updates - What to Look Forward To

<3 Hello all! I've realized (humbly) that I have a small following of very nice people that seem quite interested in what I've written so far, and after seeing some mutuals post update-status posts, I thought I should share what's going on with my projects, also. (Thanks for the encouragement, @queenmuzz!)

Updated Dec-10-20

Sons of Fortune

Probably somehow my main focus now, though I am steadily working on other works. Currently working on the “In Between” special short before I start on Chapter 12.

I would also like to talk a little bit about my plans for this story: if anyone has paid attention to this story's tags, yes, I am touching up on the plots of most of the games. In fact, all of them, and the anime. (I already dealt with DMC4. No, I will not tear apart Fortuna lol.) Not all relevant tags are in, yet, because small spoilers. It looks like it's going to be a long while before I even get to the Temen-ni-gru, though. (There is a reason why that event is getting pushed back.) I want to have fun with the family fluff that is the twins each learning how to parent, first. 

Hell Froze Over, and We Shall Reignite It

The drama of it all! Dante and Vergil are finally back from Hell, and Nero doesn’t even know his mother is now standing right in front of him. Meanwhile, even I’m anticipating seen how Snow and Dante is going to handle the obvious things currently unsaid... and I have a feeling a small measure of stupidity is still going to be involved.

Current chapter progress: Outline complete.

It's going to feel so interesting, shifting from "Fortune" back to Reignite. I get to write Sera and Vergil falling in love all over again, with a different set of circumstances. Whoa.

And, and... Nero meeting Sera... odd that I'm saying this as the writer, but I have a "I hope he likes his mom" feeling going on. 

Also, no doubt Dante's brain is going to 404 when he sees Snow. 

Nico prepares popcorn.

This is Not an Office Rom-Com

I have... about 8 new skits planned out. Nothing more written just yet.

That’s all I’m saying about this for now. =P

Hierarchy of Kings

Purely indulgent M/M romance of Vergil and an OC, existing all thanks to

@wordborne

Working on chapter 2. 

I know I said 3 chapters only. I might have lied depending on how much I want to write. It's supposed to be just... awkward fluff of a listless part-devil who somewhat-recently lost his mate, got in a bit of a tiff with his brother, and now his children are trying to set him up with the prospective-king-of-hell, Vergil. 

I think about this one a lot but I haven't written anything new for it yet, only because "Fortune" is taking over my life right now, haha.

Through the Lens of the Beholder

Okay, so...This story has no real plot. As a result, my drive for it is purely down to "if I think of a badass or cool photograph to describe." There is a TINY bit of plot. Only a little. And I don't know when I'll update. But this is why I'm trying not to START new projects. Four  is a lot already! But because this one is supposed to be simpler than the other two, I will most likely finish this one before the others, so I can open a new project. 

---------------

Speaking of new projects... Here are things ideas bouncing through my head:

- I still have a prompt from @maybeishouldwait sitting in my inbox. I WILL have it done one day, when I find the perfect way to write it. 

A whole, entirely royally late set of Dadgil week fics.  Yep. I want to write them. They just won’t be on time. 

Written in Ink

A plot-less post-DMC5 story. 

I say plot-less. There is a plot. The plot is:

Dante: Damn it, Verge, are you trying to turn my office into a zoo??

In which Vergil compulsively starts contracting strong demons he's defeated, left and right, because he's discovered "the joy of pets." The demons all take on a dark animistic form and things get wild. 

A Persona and DMC fusion/AU

I have no title for this yet, and I absolutely cannot start this one until I have finished one of my other big projects. This one will take a lot of big planning, because I am making a new plot, using the mechanics of Persona, with DMC characters and setup.

What I want to write, is a teenage Nero as the protagonist, trying to solve a mystery... probably starting with the sudden disappearance of his mother. (Most likely Sera.) And he meets a lot of "new" people, and even finds new family... and yes, he will find his dad. (I'm thinking he'll know about Vergil, though. At least in name and a photo? Isn't that an interesting difference?)

For those of you not familiar with Persona, the major theme I really want to play with is that of the protagonist growing as a person (and in power) by befriending different people that helps them grow as a person. Each party member and important NPC is represented by a Tarot Card, signifying the type of journey the protagonist (The Fool) "embarks" with that character. There is growth in both the protagonist and that characters. 

Again, this is ambitious to try and pull off... but it's in the back of my head. I'll focus on it once I've cleared some other stuff. 

Sugar Sweet

A somewhat short-chapter series reader fic... of a surgeon/doctor!reader (barely 30 and good at what you do) who often saves the lives of shady people (e.g. mafia) because you care about saving lives, not the politics. But you do make good money out of it. (Hey, you gotta be at least a bit morally ambiguous if you're going to deal with devils.)

You meet one mess of a young mercenary named Dante, who is totally not human and deals with things like having bullets healed into his back, and he can't reach them to cut them out. 

Dante doesn't care about bills for his office, or a lot of the debts in his life. You don't know where his money is going, or if he even makes much money at all (for the kind of specialty work he does? Money's going somewhere, but that's none of your business.)

You won't pay Dante's bills, or his debts, but he will accept pizza and ice cream. And new parts for his jukebox. And maybe a motorcycle. Or a new coat. Or a new car...

And you might complain to him about your dumb patients. Or just listen to him talk about his job. Or you two watch a movie together.

And this just continues. For years. 

Tokusatsu DMC fusion/AU

So. First thing's first: I'm a big fan of Sentai/Tokusatsu. What is that, you might ask? It's a Japanese genre, and if you're familiar with Power Rangers, that's derived from Sentai. 

Basically: Masked heroes with transformation gadgets, sometimes with motorcycles, fighting against evil. ("Magical girls" but strictly the opposite, a lot more physical combat involved, may involve upgrade gadgets, and not strictly limited to male heroes though mostly a male cast. Also not strictly for male-only audience. Girls like the eye-candy, too. :eyes-emoji:)

Why am I thinking about this?

Because I have found out that: Vergil's VA, Dan Southworth, was the Quantum Ranger (WHICH WAS RED). Nero's VA, Johnny Yong Bosch, was a Black Ranger and a Green Ranger. 

...And Dante's VA, Reuben Langdon, had a role in a Japanese Toku show as "B-Fighter Yanma" forever ago???? (HE WAS BLUE!!)

What am I going to do with this info? I'll let you know later. But my Sentai/Toku-loving little heart is about to burst with hyperfixation overlap. 

If I ever write this out, expect it to be just as cheesy as an actual Kamen Rider show. Or, at the very least, expect some art. I love Kamen Rider stuff!

Family Fantasy MMO

Snow introduces Dante, Vergil, Nero, and Kyrie to Final Fantasy 14 (because that’s the MMO I play) for family bonding. Yep. Mainly for silly indulgence.

Stardew Valley Visit

Post DMC5, Vergil and Dante accidentally end up going on a vacation when they try to leave Hell. No pairing with the farmer, but instead just a relaxing and somewhat introspective moment of the boys being stuck with most of their power temporarily sealed, learning how to take care of a farm, and maybe do a bit of healing by interacting with the townsfolk while they try to find out where their swords went and how to get home. 

Re-Colourize

Otherwise what I would call the “re-colour of Nero and Snow” AU. 

What if Vergil was found by Kassy’s family and raised among them? What if Dante ended up briefly in Fortuna and then convinced Sera to run away from the island?

What if we have a Nero who, though brash, is outwardly more soft and open-hearted, and has red-orange and gold colours instead? What if we have a Snow who is named Chiyuki, who wields her katana more like Vergil does, and has a more ice-queen aura about her, and has a teal and blue colouring about her?

This is my excuse to switch up the pairings, but also write Vergil being taught to fight more like an assassin. 

Raised by the Blade

Imagine: Yamato, cracked, broken, and separated from her Master... desperately searching for a way to get back to him, and ended up washed up on the shores of Fortuna. Humanoid, but clearly not if anyone saw the cracked, broken, and no-normal look of “shattered” in her torso, that she would have to keep covered. 

Made from the power of Sparda, she is pale with white hair... and she finds herself drawn to the orphanage...

Where she finds the toddler that is Nero.

Devil Hunters’ Podcast

Nico “accidentally” finds entertainment in recording the Sparda Family arguments as they talk about hunting; after all, they all share one braincell. 

Ascended Monochrome

A white angel remains by the side of Nelo Angelo. Mundus was not pleased by the behavior of his second creation, from the human woman that he had picked up with the treacherous Son of Sparda. But he later discovered that by using her, he could keep Nelo Angelo complacent. Eventually, underestimating love will be his downfall.

Fall to Royalty

A story of where Vergil wins against Mundus the first time, and takes the throne of Hell. But what is he to do next? Eventually, ruling Hell seemed meaningless when there was no one by his side, so he goes to seek out the Lady Knight that he had vowed to never think of or go back to unless he had obtained the power he sought.

Doppelganger Woes

So, I heard Capcom retconned Gilver to be some sort of imitation created by Mundus. I’m all for this! And I’m going to DO something with this.

Side-Project: DMC Tarot List

I started on this maybe months ago; and I have a tentative list oh what characters go with what card and a few detailed descriptions. I think I should confer with

@harlot-of-oblivion

at some point about this, and anyone else interested in, well, Tarot stuff. 

[tartareus]

Do you condone/ship incest? I was reading your rules and got confused about your sentence where you said if people are uncomfortable with fictional consensual incest this isn’t the blog for you. Except Incest is incest regardless of if it’s fiction

hi there, friend, how do you do?

while i'm not particularly fond of anons (nex time you'd like to discuss something regarding my rules and/or character portrayal, i strongly encourage you to do so via ims - i don't bite, and if our points of view don't quite match? that's alright, i promise i'll leave you in peace :) ) for various reasons, i'm so glad you've read my rules (that probably makes you one of the few who follow me - at least i presume you do, idk - who has done so, so thank you so much!), i cannot stress enough how important they are to me. if i happen to follow you, rest assured that i have read yours (unless, ofc, i couldn't find one in your blog - in any case, if i happen to accidentally break one of yours, just hmu or gimme a nudge).

considering that you've asked more than one question, i'll answer to you in separate sections - needless to say that while i break it down your questions, the answer might become a little longer than usual (again, i'm sorry). i'll keep this tagged, in case any of my followers don't feel like reading about this. without further ado, let’s dive in.´

“do you condone/ship incest?”

short answer? nope. but that is not a black or white question i’m afraid. no, i – nox, the human behind this blog of fictional characters – personally do not condone incest , never have and never will, and  don’t ship it. i do, however, ship consanguinamory on rare occasions, and when i do happen to write it i never do it in a good light.

for those who are not familiar with the term, here’s a little bit of info about it x && x. in short, the key difference between them is: incest is usually linked abuse (a fictional example that can be used, taking in consideration one of my very own muses, in this case is margot verger – who was sadly abused by her brother in the hannibal books) while consanguinamory (the lannisters, for example, or even the sharpe siblings from crimson peak are examples of consanguineous relationships) is the consensual romantic and/or sexual relationship between members of the same family who are of consenting age.

[ personally, i find both of them gross as fuuck irl but when it comes to fictional works i may get over this first disgust and ponder more on that && take in consideration the characters arch, plot, thoughts and the whole world they are set in. ]

i suppose the turning point here is the consent. i never, never, condone any sort of abuse – not in fiction and neither in real life – and while it’s a subject that bothers me to no end in real life, when it comes to fiction i am less inclined to project into them. i may write dark and toxic relationships, but i obviously do not condone them. that’s the point here – people on this hellsite usually mix the two together (condoning something and shipping/writing it, that is) when in fact they shouldn’t even be in the same box to begin with.

let’s say you write a fictional serial killer – norman bates, tate langdon, hannibal lecter, catherine tramell (that chick from basic instinct), patrick bateman, mrs lovett and sweeney todd, kai anderson, bellatrix, grindelwald and voldemort (the list of plausible examples could go on forever…) – here and ship with them; does it mean that you, the writer, condone every single action and choice your muse does? if writing something purely fictional equals to condoning it in real life, well… the world is even more fucked up than i first thought.

you see, in this little exercise in imagination, you could’ve easily picked a good guy or gal to write, the hero; the goody two shoes. why didn’t you? well, it’s complicated to pin point why some are drawn to darker works of fiction and characters while others are not, i suppose each individual has their own reasons && i can only speak for myself when i say that i am drawn to these sort of fictional works because they the safest way to explore dark topics that pertain to human society. on my side, it’s nothing but raw curiosity.

there’s also the issue of how different cultures see these relationships. in case you haven’t noticed, i am not from the states but actually from brazil. especially in the rural area, it’s not uncommon for second cousins to date or even marry (ew, i know, pretty gross). that’s something that is luckily falling out of practice, but you can easily find it, more so in the poor rural areas that are really far from the cities.

you may have noticed that most of the sources for the terms come from a blog that advocates real life consanguinamory – but make no mistake, i don’t support it. these were the only places i’ve found as sources in a quick look online. i don’t support it irl, but whatever consenting adults are doing amongst themselves is no concern of mine – i have no say on the matter and all in all, i don’t give a damn. i just don’t like it. everything i’ve discussed here is related to fiction, consent and is only ever related to people of consenting age.

“i was reading your rules and got confused about your sentence where you said if people are uncomfortable with fictional consensual incest this isn’t the blog for you. except incest is incest regardless of if it’s fiction”

to be honest with you, anon, i couldn’t possibly see how you’ve got confused with this. i thought i was pretty clear with that, but perhaps not. sorry, my english is not perfect. however, with the risk of sounding like a meme, i said what i said. if you personally feel uncomfortable or even triggered with fictional consensual incest otherwise known as consanguinamory, maybe my blog isn’t for you. not because i – as the mun –  condone it, but because i might mention it or even allude to it when i write certain characters. again, consent is the main thing here – you won’t ever see me writing that awful part of margot’s past, but i might mention it on some threads as it is part of her trauma but i will write jaime’s feelings regarding cersei and joanna’s love for tywin – and that should not be overlooked.

“except incest is incest regardless of if it’s fiction” 

so far so good, am i to assume that you also believe that “murder is murder, regardless of if it is fiction or not”? should we call the police on, idk, george rr martin for killing....hell knows how many characters...at this point i’m sure not even he knows. leaving my petty comment aside (it’s the arthritis, i’m always annoyed when in pain), i see where you’re coming from; fair enough.  but you missed a big point here – consensual. i do not write abuse, even to the muses who – in the canon source material – have done so    ( like jaime lannister himself – who’s in a consanguinamorous [therefore, falling under the category of fictional consensual incest] relationship with cersei – who abused his sister next to their son’s dead body [ yeah, jaime apologists, i’m out to get y’all...jokes aside, i do not acknowledge people claiming that cersei manipulated him into going to bed with her, while they are both shitty and toxic as fuck people, their relationship is mutually messed up – gag if you must but jaime lannister is far from innocent angel ] )     in the past. i. don’t. write. it. but i do write jaime’s feelings for cersei because they are canon and are also a big part of the character he became.

all of that, of course, has to do with my own position on the “war” between the people who believe fiction has a great power and influence over reality vs the ones who do not believe in that. personally, i find it hard to believe that fiction is a brainwashing tool rewiring people’s brains  - i find the idea itself ludicrous, the ones who strongly stand for that aren’t that different from flat-earthers and people who believe in reverse racism tbh – but i do acknowledge the influence media has on society. its not nearly enough to turn someone to the “dark side” alone by itself – those who claim that videogames, for example, made them violent most likely already had something different and perhaps wrong with them before the games triggered something. i don’t believe that media creates things on people, but brings buried things (fears, feelings, emotions, hopes) back to the surface. it’s all about the stimulus.

if you wanna be scared, watch an horror movie; if you wanna be happy, a comedy video.  wanna feel warm inside and live unrealistic romantic expectations vicariously through fictional characters? read a 50.000 words slow burn fluffy happy fanfic of your otp at 3 am even though you gotta wake up early in the following morning....

point is, they are not creating things, they are bringing forth responses from you that were already there in your brain (everybody has laughed before and felt fear, it’s part of human development). and how you react to certain content is entirely to you and your past. say, if you drowned as a kid on the sea - and had trauma from that - the idea of watching titanic is not so fun, is it?

it’s not my place to decide what you should do, that is entirely your own choice to make, just be aware that, as i’ve stated before countless times, i may write dark topics that may or may not be triggering to some.  i do so because it is my blog, and i don’t react so harshly to this content (in fact, i love horror, thriller and dark fictional stuff – meanwhile i dread the thought of rom coms, hell knows why??) for i am lucky to be able to separate fiction from reality. basically, whilst writing a villain, i myself do not become one in real life – that part remains in fiction only and doesn’t affect me.

that is not a constant, sure. i don’t just write dark shady stuff – there’s plenty of fluffy shit on my blog, but i like to warn people beforehand to make sure we are all on the same page. it’s for your own comfort, i suppose, because i may not understand certain points of view on fiction but i will always defend your right to be comfortable and safe.

so yes, if you aren’t feeling well at that notion, please unfollow and block me if you must – i never wish to cause any discomfort to anyone – however, before you do so (that is, if you do so) i beg you to just send me an im warning me beforehand, please? that way i can block you – and your other blogs as well – so the chances of me running into you again and causing you discomfort will be minimal. that way we’ll both be on own respective lanes and happy about it. i mass follow very often and don’t usually know which blogs belong to whom (uh, did that make sense? my latina ass is not used to using whom in a sentence....), i may follow another blog (or the revamped blog) of someone who has blocked me and never even realise it – that’s not me following you around and stalking like a total creep, that’s probably me not even remembering who you are. again, sorry – i don’t mean for this to come off rude or anything but???? its the truth? you know the drill, big following list, big followers list (well, big for me tbh, i cannot remember the name or alias of 600 people for the life of me, excuse me if my memory doesn’t serve me right), hard to keep track. there will be no witch hunts, at least on my part, because i deem them to be childish and way too dramatic for my taste. if you’d like to speak in private, adult to adult, i’m always game – i dread vague posting, i personally see it as a pathetic and weak trait. 

as long as you’re civil, so am i.

either way, do whatever makes you feel comfortable and safe on your blog – your  mental health is far more important (to me, and hopefully to you as well) than a hobby, than tumblr, rp or whatever fictional stuff someone’s writing or reading; you are responsible for your own online experience, and i am responsible for mine. that’s an empowering thing that should be reminded more often.

i truly hope i’ve managed to answer whatever doubts or questions you had in mind, if not my ims are always open and so is my discord. once again, thank you for reading my rules and stay safe!

edit; my dumb ass forgot to drop my disco handle, since i change often. it currently is   DOCTOR BITCHCRAFT !!! | 𝒏𝒐𝒙#1398

[i-prefer-the-term-antihero]

Your favourite Pandora Hearts character and why? Mine is Jack, because he’s interesting.

(AHHHHH I took forever to respond to you, I’m so so very sorry!! ...Actually it was partially because I really loved your question or took me so long to answer…Also I uh, wanted to take the time to edit my message and explain this concisely…and I failed) 

Thank you so very much for you question anon!! I don’t get a lot of asks so it made me overjoyed to get one.

My favorite ph character is Break!! Actually he’s become my all-time-favorite character!! 

As for why, well…I don’t think you were looking for a long response, but I’m a very longwinded person so I couldn’t help it…sorry in advance for all the detail XD

There are far too many reasons I could go into for why I like him, but I think probably the main one is that he is a very specific type of redemptive villain that is difficult to find in most stories. 

If you’ve read my blog description you know I like villainous characters with redemptive qualities. I find them much more relatable and interesting than main characters who find being selfless and good easy. Plus I’m here for the angst. I especially like when I myself find these characters creepy or unlikable at first and learn to love them later—(which, because I’m prone to look for the good in villains, is tough to do)—because it means my enjoyment and love for the character in the end feels more real (ie it wasn’t just because I found them attractive, or read into something what wasn’t really there). 

One of the many reasons I love Pandora Hearts is that it is littered with these types of characters. These types of characters are difficult to write, so most authors only have one or two in their stories, and often even those who do try to write these characters are unable to do so well. But Mochizuki has written more than I’ve ever seen one author write. Not only that, they are all unique and not just carbon copies of each other, and they are all well written, interesting, unique, and relatable. (I mean, even the main characters in her stories struggle with good and evil, and it makes them interesting and likable too). 

Break is a specific brand of this character category that I’ve never seen before or since. He’s almost like the reverse: a redeemed person with villainous qualities. He’s...the next step.

See Kevin is your usual character in this category: he’s killed a bunch of people (villain) but he did it to save his family (redemptive quality). He was very easy for me to like.

But Break is different. I haaated Break when I first started watching the anime (before I read the manga). He was creepy, he was manipulative, he was condescending, and he didn’t seem to care about anyone but himself. Learning about Kevin began to change my heart, but it was what he says in the carriage ride home from the opera house that made me fall in love with him. How all the jokes, the teasing, the condescension was stripped away in that moment, and he was completely honest and vulnerable with them, revealing his true character. 

He basically explained then...what’s the next step? What happens if and when a redemptive villain like Kevin gets what they want? Will it be the redemption they hope for? 

Seeing a villain get what they want, what they think will redeem them...but finding that it isn’t what they want at all, nor a redemption for them…seeing how that completely dismantles everything they knew…everything they are, seeing them change, seeing them learn to live with the villainous things they did, to try to make up for those things, and find redemption in other ways, thereafter...that’s powerful. And that’s real. 

The ways in which Break is villainous are realistic. I haven’t met any murderers (to my knowledge...), nor have I killed anyone, but I have met people who are condescending and manipulative, and I have been condescending and manipulative myself. Kevin is easier to like because his brand of villainy is removed from what feels real to me. And Break is easier to hate when you don’t know him because his villainy is the kind we all face on a daily basis. 

But that also means that his redemptive qualities are the ones we face on a daily basis too. I haven’t killed anyone to save my family, nor have I met anyone that’s done so, but I have done things I regret, and that I want some sort of penance for. I have thought certain things would “save” me, in a way, and found it wasn’t what I thought it would be for me at all. I have had suicidal thoughts (“so...you want to die?”) and I have tried to do things myself without asking for help when I really should have relied on my friends…and the list goes on. 

Everyone is both a hero and a villain inside, but our villainy and heroism is much subtler. It’s hard to get this right within a story. It’s easy to just paint a fictional world in black and white, and have good win, and not really work at the characters and story until you can see why the villains think they’re right, and how the heroes can be wrong. But I am so happy Mochizuki painted her world in grey; that no one is fully a villain or fully a hero, there’re all very human.

As a fantasy lover and writer I’m always trying to thread the line of how far fantasy should go, and where reality should seep in. There are fantasy stories in which you lose touch with reality so much it feels almost soulless. But I still want to travel to fantastical worlds and fight demons and dragons with heroes. To me Mochizuki hits the nail on the head. She definitely takes me to worlds that are delightfully fantastical, and builds her world so well, with its own quirks, and rules, demons and gods, but her characters, and the messages they provide us with are so real.

Break is a prime example of this. He can be the worst of villains and the best of heroes. And the messages that surround him (”You’re much much stronger than you think you are” ”no, you simply want to save yourself” “we can never know what would have happened” etc.) are so real I often think about in everyday life.

Despite being young I am often more drawn to adult characters than kids/teens. Which means I am often very fond of mentor characters. But one of the ways in which these characters fall short is that most of the time their character arc is kind of over; they don’t really grow, learn, or need advice throughout the story. They simply give it. They probably did some bad things in their past but they’ve learned from it and they’re done now. And that’s great!! But is isn’t as interesting or relatable as someone who is still struggling themselves. 

Break is a very rare type of mentor character. So much so that I don’t think a lot of people would even call him a mentor character. But he does mentor Oz. And he does give advice. But unlike most of these types of characters he isn’t just done, just a good person now. He’s a hero in his own way, but he’s still very much messed up, and he needs to take others advice as much as he can give it—just like us in real life. In fact, one of the most wonderful pieces of advice he gets is from the very person he mentors, which is absolutely amazing, and rare within this type of relationship. 

Like I said, there’s a lot more I could say, expanding on these ideas, I could go on about other things like how fun and funny he is…but I’ve said too much as it is XD In the end he’s just this very unique type of character you don’t get to see very often. 

And, I won’t go as in-depth on this, but since you mentioned him, my second favorite character is Jack!! I also find him very interesting. 

He’s another unique villain-with-redemptive qualities. There aren’t many characters who almost every word out of their mouth for half the series is a lie, or twisted truth, who aren’t completely hateable. 

The moment you learn he lied you also get to learn his backstory, and why he lied, and why he thought what he was doing was right, how broken he is too. 

I just love that twist. I’m usually good at predicting things, and earlier in the series I even thought “wouldn’t it be crazy if Jack was the villain?” and then I was like “Nahh he’s too sweet.” But then he was!! It was so unexpected and cool that he was the antagonist after all.

Again, that goes back into what I was saying earlier. In a lot of series the way Jack and Glen are painted in the first half would be all there was to it; there’s a wonderful hero and a terrible villain, nothing more. Or, if there was the twist, it would then be the opposite, that who you thought was the terrible villain is the wonderful hero and vice versa, and again, that’s all. But then when the truth comes out you find that they are neither, that they are both people. And they’ve done heroic things and they’ve done villainous things, and they will continue to do both as the series goes on, but that does make either of them completely good or completely bad. 

In a weird way I think Jack is the best of all these different worlds. At the beginning of the series I was like “he’s like a sweet little puppy I love him so much” and at the middle I was like “ahh he’s so evil I love him so much” and by the end I was like “aww he’s so broken I love him so much” XD He has all those qualities within him, that sweetness is still a part of himself and his personality, he did do some genuinely villainous things, and he is very broken. 

Again, I’ll stop there for now XD

Thanks again!! And again, feel free to direct message me!! 

Can I also turn this into a tag game? @song-of-amethyst, @maddyisenough, @sanhatipal, @nozominohana, @emily-cheshire, @the-twisted-otaku, @tabinotochuu...and @ anyone else who sees this post and would like to engage, Who are your favorite ph characters and can I get your longwinded explanations for why you love them?

[swiftlymoniquesblog]

Perfectly Confused Angel Part 3

Warnings: Slight mention of injuries but otherwise purely adorable fluff!

A/N: So I’m sure everyone is wondering why the hell I chose THIS photo for this update but I wanted Cas to look more “normal” and comfortable in “human clothes” and Misha’s shirt here looks like it belongs to Sam so here’s this photo! 

As always, if you would like to be added to the tag list, please let me know! And if you have any suggestions for this story or a request for some other story, send me an ask or message! 

~Monique

Word Count: 1018

Upon waking up the next morning, you roll over onto your side, looking at the beautiful angel who had his arm slung over you. You watched in awe as his eyelids fluttered; he was dreaming. You couldn’t believe that a being as breathtaking as him, was a friend of yours. Even after a few weeks of having him join you and the Winchesters on your hunting trips, you were immediately drawn to him, more than just a friendship. You can’t exactly say how you feel, because you haven’t known him long enough, but there was an attraction. However, it was weird for you because he wasn’t human. Well, he was now but for thousands of years, he wasn’t. Soon, he awoke, his blue eyes slowly fluttering open and landing right on yours.

 “Good morning, Y/N.” He says.

 “Good morning, Cas.” You say back.

 “Why were you watching me sleep?” He asks, that confused look creeping its way onto his features.

 You felt a blush forming on your cheeks; you were caught red-handed.

 “I uh…..”

 Just then, a knock on the door interrupted the uncomfortable talk; Sam at the door. You thank the heavens for his interruption and stood up to approach him.

 “Sam, what’s up?” You say, way too quickly. He could tell something was up but by the look of absolute embarrassment on your face, he decided to drop his suspicion.

 “I wanted to check-in on Cas. He suffered severe injuries yesterday so I need to make sure he is improving and not getting worse.”

 “I am fine, Sam. Y/N has been looking after me and she has really been very helpful.” The Seraph explains, beaming as he spoke highly of you. You just smiled and blushed and Sam continued.

 “Right. Well that’s good. When y’all are ready, Dean is cooking up some grub for us. Should be ready soon.” And with that, the youngest Winchester was gone.

 You decided at this point, it was best to get dressed so as you started your morning routine, Cas had another question for you.

 “Y/N, what is grub?” The angel asks about the phrase Sam just used for the breakfast Dean is making.

 You chuckle and shake your head, proceeding to explain.

 “Grub is another word for food. Its…a rather odd word in the human language if you ask me.”

 “But why didn’t Sam just say food?” Cas was far more confused then you’ve ever seen before, making him that much cuter to you.

 “I’m not sure Cas, you’ll have to ask Sam about that. Here, get dressed and we’ll get some food. I think today is a down day for all of us.” You say, grabbing some clothes and heading for the shower.

“May I join you? I never had a shower before.” Cas asked, in all the innocence he had.

 Your face flushes, surprised he asked such a thing, but then again, he doesn’t know what he’s asking of you.

“You can after me.” You told him and before he could ask another question, you shut the door and leaned against the door. He wanted to shower with you. You take a deep breath, attempting to calm your rapid heartbeat. No Y/N, he doesn’t know what he was saying. He doesn’t feel that way about you. He doesn’t even know what love is.”

After your shower, you step back into your room to see Cas in a greenish-blue and white plaid shirt, you recognized as Sam's shirt, and a pair of black jeans. You were taken aback by how normal he looked in street clothes. As much as you loved his trench coat get up, this looks more natural for a human. All the buttons on the shirt were buttoned up except the top one, exposing a small part of his chest. Just the tiniest bit of hair was peeking out from the top and you couldn’t look away.

 “Y/N, are you alright?” Cas asks, concern obvious in his tone.

 You clear your throat, the sudden need for water coming to your senses.

 “Y…yeah, I’m good.”

 “Is it what I’m wearing?” The new-human asks, looking down at his appearance.

 “No, no, it looks good. You kinda look like Sam but, it’s okay.” You give a small smile, to which he reciprocated.

 The two of you walk out into the main living area of the Bunker and you cut away from Cas to head to the kitchen to see Dean standing over the stove, cooking up a wonderful aroma of different foods.

“What’s cookin' good lookin’?” You joke to the eldest Winchester.

 “Shouldn’t you be asking Cas that? Save your flirting for him?” Dean says, turning in a half-circle to look at you.

 Crap, he knows. But how? How did Dean know?

 “Wha…..what? What are you talking about?” You stammer over your words, trying to understand what he was getting at.

 “Oh come on, Y/N, it's obvious you’re into Cas. I mean, you slept with him last night.”

 “No, it wasn’t like that Dean! We literally just slept, nothing like you think.” You quickly explain.

 He chuckles at your reaction, just proving his point further.

 “Yeah okay, kiddo, whatever you say. But you two are painfully cute together. I say go for it.”

 “Okay, I don’t know what you mean but Cas and I are just friends. Nothing more.” You say firmly.

 “Alright, if ya say so,” Dean said, nonchalantly.

“I do, now drop it, Dean.” You say in a more harsh tone

 “Okay, okay.” He puts his hands up in defeat before calling that breakfast was ready.

 When everyone got their food, you began to think about what Dean said. You look to your left and see Cas sitting comfortably next to you. It was weird for you; it’s not like there were other places for him to sit so why did he choose to sit next to you? Maybe Dean was right; maybe Cas did have feelings for you. But how would you even begin to go there with him when he has no idea what feelings are or love or even a date is?

Tag list: @forever-trapped-in-my-dreams @markofdean79 @simpleboox @fandom-princess-forevermore @grace15ella

[pretty-little-howtown]

I’m Gonna Keep This Forever

Summary: The life of a makeup artist isn’t easy and it’s so much harder when you have a crush on one of the actors.

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1,944

Another day, another movie and another couple months of work. You walked into your trailer and started taking out and sorting all your make up supplies. Over your run as Marvel's main make up artist you've had everyone in the chair. From the stunning Scarlett Johansen to the charismatic Chris Hemsworth. Even the newest edition to the Marvel roster: Tom Holland.

Ever since he sat in your makeup chair for the first time you were practically the best of friends. If he had a problem he'd sit down and ask you for advice. You always wondered why you and he would always reply with 'you just have the best advice'. The two of you became so close that whenever he was going somewhere after the day was wrapped up he'd always invite you to hangout with him and his friends.

Your life was a dream come true. Everyone had sat in your chair, Tom more than others, other makeup artists would come and go depending on when they were needed but you were the constant. But your perfect lifestyle was in peril. It was in danger from your self. You had fallen hard for Tom. You didn't want to risk over stepping any lines, whether they already be drawn or not. Makeup artists are supposed to always be there but in the shadows not in the spot light. Over stepping those lines would put you in the spotlight and that's not what was supposed to happen.

Suddenly, Tom threw open the door to your trailer and pranced in elated, gripping his phone firmly in his hand.

"Y/N! Hey, I was wondering if you'd let me live stream you doing my make up for the shoot today. I just wanna show everyone part of the process ya know." He beamed with the hope that you'll let him live stream you doing his make up.

"Let me double check what you have to start off with today and then we'll see. We don't want any spoilers getting out. Do we Tom?" You asked with a raised eyebrow to which he blushed a little and awkwardly laughed. "Alright, you're in the clear. Set up anything you need and I'll go get the supplies." Tom fit pumped the air has he unlocked his phone, placed it against the wall mirror and started up the stream.

From the other side of the trailer you heard him mutter some words about what the two of you discussed earlier. You retuned with some basics. Foundation, concealer and the like.

"Right, this is Y/N the main Marvel make up artist," he explained as you waved to his phone, "today she's gonna do some basic make up for today's shoot."

He sat in the chair and you turned him sideways so that you could work but still have his audience see him. As you were putting on the foundation he asked you to read a few of the comments to him so he could reply and keep the stream as interesting as it can get. You found endearing when he went off on a tangent about something and his eyes just lit up talking about it.

"How did you get to where you are today?" You told him applying some concealer, waiting for him to reply.

"Well, it took a long time but I finished my GCSEs and then went to a preforming arts academy and did a course there for two years." You were concentrating on applying the highlighter while he talked you tuned him out. Until he looked directly at you with eyes full of curiosity with a hint of love and asked, "what about you?"

"Uh, me? I uh, I finished my GCSEs and my A levels. Did pretty well in both. Then I went off to uni and specialised in cosmetics. So a did four year course and got my bachelor's in cosmetics." You didn't say much as you weren't used to being the one answering the questions. To pressed on saying that he wanted to find out more about you. You said only a little more before asking about him.

He retold you his whole life story. His family life friend life even past girlfriends before asking you wether you were single. You answered with the truth. Yes. Although you did blush a little. In your book asking if someone was single was sign one of the asker being interested in the, aforementioned, someone.

You finished his make up and waved to Tom's audience as he ended the stream. He then put his phone into his pocket and swooped you into a hug. He even lifted you off the floor and spun your around. He thanked you once more and existed the trailer. A smile was still lingering on your face when Chris Evans walked in with a knowing look on his face.

"What?" You asked.

"Did I just hear Tom ask you if you were single?" Being the father figure he was, he answered a question with a question. Followed closely by yet another question, "and am I delusional but did you reply with yes?"

You just smiled asking him to sit in the chair and then looking outside at the large queue that had formed. It was back to the grind.

The next day you woke up with a small headache and a small memory gap that at first didn't appear to be a problem.

You went through your normal routine. Eat, brush teeth, get dressed brush hair, leave. You settled down in your car; looking at your watch on decided you still had time until you had to leave. Yawning with your thermos of tea in hand you opened your phone and saw it blow up with messages.

Tom invited you with Harrison Jacob and Zendaya to celebrate the end of filming. You went to Z's favourite bar and ordered a couple rounds. For most of the night you refused to drink anything stronger than whiskey, until Tom 'convinced' you to take a shot with him. He then had the brilliant idea to take a phot with all of you. He asked someone passing by to take the photo. You were in the middle with Tom's hands wrapped snugly around your waist and his chin atop your head. Zendaya and Jacob were on wait her side with Harrison on his side at your feet. After the photo was taken you honestly couldn't believe that his phone wasn't taken away. Tom then sent it to everyone so that you could all share this moment. The five of you then exited the bar and walked each other home. First Jacob then Z and then you. Tom wanted to spend as much time holding you as he could. When you got to your apartment he practically wouldn't let you go. He wanted to savour the moment because he knew full well that when the liquid courage wore off, he wouldn't be a ale to do it every again. Before he let you go however, he had another bright idea. This time to post the picture on Instagram tagging all of you in the photo.

You looked at the caption. 'Crazy last day of filming love you guys!' Under the post you read some of that comments that have been blowing up your phone.

'Omg who's that Tom's holding?! Are they dating?!'

'OMG OMG OMG @y/n IS SO CUTE WITH TOM SHIP!!!'

"AHHH IM NOT ON THAT PICTURE FUCK" you laughed at the last one. It sounded a lot like something you would say. Most of the rest of the comments were alternations between 'are they an item?' and 'I ship them so much.' Blushing you started your car and drove back to set. You had to clean up the makeup kits you left after Tom dragged you to celebrations.

When you got there however you weren't expecting Tom. He had no reason to be here, he was part of the cast his day was done. Yet he was still here.

"Hey Tom." You greeted, "what are you doing here?"

"Well uh I thought I'd- I'd hell you clean up. Yeah. Help clean up." He replied blushing. His was gonna do it. This was the day he was gonna say it. He wasn't gonna back out or more accurately Haz wasn't gonna let him back out. No more hiding. No more pretending. Today was the day.

You smiled, "okay well if you could bather up all the brushes that would be great." He did as you asked. The time was spent in stony silence. While Tom was hyping him self up to tell you by figuring out how he wanted to say it to you; you were were getting ready to give up. You were so focused on packing up that you got startled and fell backward when Tom tapped you on your shoulder. Tom's reflexes kicked in but instead of firmly holding you in his arms you fell on top of Tom. Your back to his front. You head a now from underneath you and saw Tom. Panicking you started standing up and apologising

"Guess I'm not as strong as I thought huh?" He laughed, "you don't need to apologise it was an accident." You nodded you head and went back to work still embarrassed by the previous situation.

You spent what felt like an eternity but was actually more like two seconds before Tom spoke again.

"Hey, I actually came here to tel you something. It's pretty big and I get if you don't wanna accept or anything but I'd still like to be friends after this. If you want to that is and if everything falls to shit like I feel it might." He started fiddling with the bristles of a foundation brush, suddenly finding them the most interesting thing in the world. "You see. There's not subtle or easy was for me to do this. When I told you I wanted the moment to be perfect but after last night I couldn't take not telling you any longer. I like you, a lot. Hell I think I love you. But like I said, I get it if you don't want anything to do with me or if you feel the same way." You stood there shocked. Tom stood there shocked. Why haven't you said anything yet. Are you gonna walk out and leave him? Is that gonna be it?

"Tom," he was dreading the answer but there was still a small glimmer of hope that you might like him back, "I like you too. I didn't think you'd like me back so I just kept it to my self hopped it'd go away. I was honestly just about ready to give up." Tom swooped you up in a hug the same kind of hug he gave you yesterday as a thank you. You heart swelled with joy. You got the guy.

"Can I kiss you now?" Tom asked waiting impatiently and almost immediately you replied. Yes. His lips captured yours in a passionate dance comparable to a tango. Tom traced your bottom lip with his tongue asking for entrance. Before he went in he nipped it sending a shock right through you. The shock coming out as an audible moan. He explored your mouth and you pulled away, lovingly looking into each other's eyes. Then you saw a flash. Turning towards it you saw a Haz shaped figure emerging from the bushes.

"Two posts in the span of a couple hours. The fans'll go crazy." He smirked and handed Tom back his phone. Tom showed the the picture.

"I'm gonna keep this forever"

[iwritesometimes]

welcome to my ted talk on bugs

or, how to recommend your favorite video game that you’ve barely played

in the LJ days, we’d have called this a ~primer~ and been grateful for whatever shitty watermarked jpegs we could get to load on our sometimes-unpredictable university internet connections. now, however, i can offer you a full multimedia presentation on a little game i think you should all buy, regardless of whether you’re actually interested in playing it...a little game i like to call

and not just me - its developer, australian indie outfit team cherry, also like to call it that! they called it that when they created a kickstarter for it way back in 2014, earning well past their modest budget goal, which allowed them, in 2017, to release a beautiful, brutal little indie platformer (a metroidvania, for those of you familiar with the term) about a lost and dying kingdom of bugs suffering under a mysterious scourge that infects the minds of what few poor souls remain.

welcome to hallownest.

(as you read, you may want to set the mood with the game’s main theme - i’ll come back to the music later!!)

you are a small but mighty knight drawn to the kingdom for reasons unknown - not quite part of this world, but vital to it somehow. you venture into the underground caverns and crevices wielding your fierce nail (which is just exactly sword-sized for you) and a growing mastery of VOID and SOUL energies, mysterious but powerful.

you will explore hidden passageways and decaying ruins, meet deadly enemies and unexpected friends, and poke through the wreckage of a civilzation’s sins and triumphs, reconstructing a portrait of this place and yourself, piece by piece, if you’re patient and curious enough to tackle every last corner of this sprawling nest.

here’s where my full disclosure comes in: i haven’t beaten this game. i haven’t even gotten onto the same continent as “beating this game,” let alone finishing all 40ish hours of its content. i got...*checks game clock* not quite ten hours into it, kept getting my ass handed to me by a boss, and put the game down for a break. that was...more than six months ago, now, while i let myself get distracted with other interests and other games (y’all should totally play celeste, too, if you’re at all into platformers!), but lately i started listening to the soundtrack again, which got me to watching some youtube videos (which is how i originally discovered it, watching day9′s playthrough), which dragged me right back into my wholly unhealthy obsession with this game.

because i am. i am obsessed with it. it’s one of those perfect combinations of “artistic choices designed to punch every last happy button in sarah’s brain” and it hammers on each and every one of them until i’m left scouring youtube and the subreddit scrounging for whatever scrap of lore or fun fan theory i can get my grubby little paws on, like some sort of feral stimulus-starved idiot who could just be playing the game instead. it’s a sad, dark story that reveals itself almost entirely in context clues from the environment and random comments made by npcs; there are very few cutscenes, and it expects you to do the leg work of exploring and learning and piecing together the whole picture (and then perhaps to do a bit of wild theorizing and wiki-crawling to fill in the gaps). it has the most unique, endearing art style - hand-drawn sprites that look straight out of a children’s picture book in lush, painterly environments dripping with a sort of insectoid-art nouveau sensibility and seemingly lit from within, beautiful shafts of light and light bloom effects and light particles dancing all over the screen. the soundtrack is fucking phenomenal, created by christopher larkin as a piano-and-strings-heavy jaunt through wildly varying landscapes, all sinking under a gorgeously sad, funerary feeling, all this dying beauty and lurking danger around you. each boss and zone has a fantastic and individual theme all their own; my favorites are:

dirtmouth

hornet

mantis lords

city of tears

dung defender

queen’s gardens

nosk

and the game world is MASSIVE, unfolding itself bit by bit to an almost ludicrous size - part of what i find daunting about the game is its sheer hugeness, although this is mitigated by The Gaming World’s Greatest Fast Travel System Ever - a stag beetle taxi service!! i would die for this large man.

the other part of the game that’s daunting, though, is that it’s hard as fucking nails. there is no easier setting or an assist mode like in celeste; while the game is pretty generous with powerups and very customizable to your playstyle with different abilities you can swap out to change your battle plans, the combat is very demanding, relying on precise timing and execution. fighting is in itself a bit like platforming in hollow knight, very aerial and dependent upon using enemies as launching-off points that reset your double jump and air dash abilities. it’s incredibly fun to play, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not easy. i’m not sure, even if i tried, that i could ever beat this game, which is the other thing that’s kept me from playing it and instead had me just immersing myself in the lore and in videos to see the story unfold. it’s kind of scary!

having said that, though? this game is $15 US American human dollars. let me repeat that: fifteen ($15) smackers gets you 40+ hours of content (the main story with the Good Ending will take you somewhere between 30 and 50 hours depending on if you’re slow and dumb like me, but there’s a good deal of optional content and extra bosses that aren’t necessary to 100% the game) and one of the prettiest, most imaginative, best-sounding, and engrossing gaming experiences i’ve ever come across, not to mention one of the largest maps and some of the most challenging platforming and combat ever put into a metroidvania. oh, and three separate included DLCs. by the way. for $15.

if for no other reason, please buy this game to support a small team of innovative game designers whose passion is clear in every frame of this gorgeous little bug adventure, so that they can keep making excellent titles like this for me to wax poetic about on tumblr. the game is available on steam, gog, and the humble store, and will soon (this year, though the date hasn’t dropped yet) be out on switch. where i will buy it again. and then probably buy some merch. because if i could personally fund team cherry in their endeavors forever, i would!! but, in lieu of that, i’ll just bug everyone i ever meet to buy their game.

(get it? bug��everyone???? do you g--DO YOU GET IT???)

if you’re interested in more info, or you think the gameplay might not be for you but want to see more of the story, have some additional links!

a couple of game trailers

a 100% completion run of the game, including the Good Ending - not ideal because the streamer does occasionally fast-forward through bits of backtracking, BUT there’s no voiceover commentary and he interacts with a lot of npcs so you can follow along with the story a bit better. also he’s playing a game mode that forces him not to die even once, so you don’t have to watch a lot of replaying and corpse runs.

joseph anderson’s long-form critique/review - spoilery and in-depth, but smart and insightful, although he’s a hardass gamer so his criticism sometimes comes down on the game being too easy for him. lol -_-

the full soundtrack. LISTEN TO IT. and then go throw money at the composer for it, it’s only $10. or you can buy it bundled with the game on steam and gog!

the wiki

the subreddit

the tumblr tag FULL OF GLORIOUS ART and a few dubious nudes of um. insects. the internet’s a cornucopia of gifts, y’all.

the ao3 tag, where you will find me, gorging myself on fic while i continue to procrastinate on playing the game.

[strangeremembrances]

Is the film as good as the book Megan? 🙏

WORLDS COLLIDE! Hannah! 

Oh god, this is a question. I have a free evening so you’re getting my full attention and I’m always in the mood to talk CMBYN and unleash my ridiculous love so here goes!

First off, I will try not to be spoilery…. BUT THIS IS HUGE AND I HAVE OFFICIALLY GONE INTO HEART EYES MODE BUT HERE IS MY OVERVIEW.

I have loved the novel for so many years that it holds such a special and important significant for me so that’s difficult to compare anything to. I was 19 when I first read the novel and I’m nearly 29 now so that’s nearly 10 years of adoration….

That’s why I was terribly nervous when I heard they were making a movie. That kind of changed when I saw Armie’s instagram wayyyyyyyy back when in January 2017 around the same time as Sundance and he tagged it #billowyblueshirt - I pretty much lost my mind!!! I mean, THAT IS OLIVER. That’s how I pictured him  (minus baby Harper of course!). He was a little younger looking in my head but Armie looked SO MUCH like the Oliver in my mind.

And then this came out:

I was so stunned because I didn’t really know much about Timmy. I recognised him from Homeland but that was it and yet, he looked like Elio. Again - I had the same response! He looked like the Elio I’d imagined in my head and that tiny clip made me so excited. It still didn’t stop me from being nervous as you can’t get much from a little clip but by the time the main trailer came out, I was BEYOND excited because so much of what I’d imagined was in front of me and so close to how I’d always pictured in my mind. Plus, the shots were so pretty and almost art house that it didn’t feel like they’d cheapened it or gone for the obvious adaption they so easily could have. 

The trailer I first saw was this one:

I swear to you, the moment I saw the part where Elio says “listen, when the time comes, this is how he’ll say goodbye to us…Later”, I stopped being nervous. Completely. That scene still kills me.

I desperately tried to get tickets to the BFI screenings but they sold out so I could only see the movie opening night in the UK on 27 October but it was one of my favourite and one of the most memorable cinema experiences I’ve ever had, second to possibly seeing Titanic when I was a kid.

Yes, there are parts of the book that I wish were in there that sadly didn’t make the cut. I made a post about that ages ago. I have a tag on here that has all my ramblings under (HERE!) but I think I talked about that. 

Does it have some flaws? Of course! There are a few editing moments that I thin would make non-novel readers unsure and some of the dialogue remains unexplained… unlike in the novel but I do wonder whether some of that is by choice to allow the viewers the ability to make up their own mind. I am definitely able to cast a critical eye but I am so fond of the movie as a whole and a novel!fan that I can’t help but be overly descriptive and gushy haha. It’s a marmite kind of thing for many and none of the characters are perfect in the book or movie but that’s what I love. They just happen to be fascinating and interesting to me.

SO NOW FOR THE RAMBLING……

The movie is different from the novel. There is about 1/3 of the novel in the movie. The entirety of Ghost Spots is gone. Most of San Clemente Syndrome is also gone. But yet the movie doesn’t suffer because of it. Luca has talked endlessly (and oh god i have wanted every single interview he’s done for this movie, I’m sure. I’m sure an admirer) about his decisions for the movie and one of the big ones is that he wanted the audience to grow with Elio. He didn’t want the novel’s reflective nature or the Proustian thing clouding the audience’s judgement of what was happening. He didn’t want voice overs or a narrator and, in my view, it is HANDS DOWN the best thing he did. You experience EVERY SINGLE MOMENT with Elio. From start to finish, you’re with him during his summer and you disappear. The movie is so immersive and beautiful for that, I’m so grateful to him. 

PLEASE GO SEE THE MOVIE IN A CINEMA. That’s the best advice I can give. I hope it’s showing in the UK still where you are. Just take that time out and go see it. I can’t tell you how wonderful it is. From the second the credits start (and i swear, they’re some iconic bloody credits. The second I hear Hallelujah Junction *goosebumps*) it’s just the kind of movie that lifts you out of your life, drops you into Italy in the Summer and you spend every moment experiencing every second with these characters.

As for the comparison of the characters in the novel to those on screen. THIS IS WHERE I GET EMOTIONAL. Elio. Oh Elio Perlman is my sweetheart. The first time I read the book, I got him. He taught me so much about being brave. But novel!Elio is DRAMATIC as I’m sure you’re aware if you’ve read the book. He is hormonal and ridiculous and weird as hell. He’s so OTT and it the world’s most unreliable narrator so to play THAT right is just the most difficult task and it was what I was most frightened of. Let me tell you…. everything, EVERYTHING, that critics said about Timmy’s acting and his portrayal of Elio is spot on. It is one of my favourite piece of acting I’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing. All of those Elio thoughts and feelings in the novel, all the internalisation and the intense thoughts he has… getting that across is a TASK and you read them all on Timmy’s face. I can’t even list them. It’s every damn scene. Moments of note are the dinner table scene where Oliver doesn’t show up. I even made a post of this because it stunned me to much (HERE!). The scene in Mr P’s office when Oliver’s showing off about his apricot knowledge and novel readers know that Elio is already enamoured and thinking filthy thoughts…. it’s ALL THERE on Timmy’s face. I could go on and on and on about him and how he quite frankly blew my mind but the main thing I keep coming back to is that movie!Elio is a JOY. He is an absolute delight to behold. Novel!Elio is so intense and because you’re inside his mind, it’s difficult to see him the way the world does. Movie!Elio is so lovely. He’s every bit as intense and kind of difficult and bold and hormonal as novel!Elio but he’s also light and fun and playful and SWEET. He’s EXTREMELY SWEET. There are some tiny little moments that are so effervescent and make me smile so much because Elio sparkles on screen. He dances and shimmies and lazes about, he touches everything in sight, he climbs Oliver like a tree, he smiles and argues and fusses and swoons and is just PERFECTION. I’m not going to go on and on because I’d spoil stuff…. the ending thought. The very final 2 seconds of the movie are forever etched into my brain. 

As for the movie itself. It’s blissful. The cinematography is breathtaking. You feel part of the home and the landscape and Luca’s heart is in every frame. It’s like a painting. The music is wonderful and fills every scene with nostalgia and this sense that the Perlman’s are effortlessly cultured. The editing AHHHHH. GOD. There are some editing choices that I could kiss Walter Fasano for. It has an arthouse feel (MY FAVOURITE), and is SO LONG. It’s a very long movie and that was the biggest treat. There are directorial choices that I want to cuddle Luca for, namely how certain scenes are framed - especially the nosebleed scene and the entire MIDNIGHT sequence. That sequence is long and drawn out but constructed with little details so beautifully.

The other characters are so RICH and I was devastated to let them go when the movie ended. Annella is so much more than in the novel and I adore her. Marzia is WONDERFUL. Mafalda is every bit as sassy and great as the novel even if her part is smaller. But the VP is Mr Perlman. Reading the novel, anyone will remember and feel moved by his speech to Elio about life and love and letting yourself experience life: good and bad. The movie version moves me to tears from start to finish, every single time I see it. Mr Perlman is a GIFT in this movie. Every single character was so real and warm and the family moments are some of my favourites from movie.

Finally, the chemistry. Everyone has chemistry with EVERYONE. Notably, Elio and his parents. The level of affection in this movie is off the charts. Everyone hugs and kisses and cuddles and touches and it’s the most refreshing thing. But obviously the chemistry everyone wants is between Oliver and Elio and it’s so natural and almost unstaged (especially the midnight scenes) that I was speechless. They are wonderful together. It’s so clear that Timmy and Armie became friends. They shot the movie chronologically and much of the way the movie developed and occurred was how Timmy and Armie met and became friends. Watch any interview… haha. They are special on screen together.

My absolute FAVOURITE thing though is how the movie is so thin on dialogue. Compared to most movies, it is sparce and treats the audience intelligently because so many of the BIG moments are simple and delivered through nuanced acting (specifically by Timmy and notable by Armie in the goodbye portion of the movie). There’s no exposition, very little emotional talk as it is SHOWN and that is hands down the reason this movie resonated with me so well because that’s what I wanted from an adaption of the book. I didn’t want Elio TELLING us, I wanted to see it. And you do. VERY WELL.

So yeah, ESSAY DONE. I could ramble on and on. I truly ADORE the movie. It is up there with my all time favourites and I said after seeing it for the first time, that gratitude is the overwhelming thing I felt when I walked out of the cinema and after I’d picked my broken heart up off the floor…. my feelings haven’t changed.

If Luca sticks by his intention on sequels to follow Elio’s life, well I’m on board. I’d have NEVER said that last year. I’d have never wanted anyone to touch the novel or expand on the novel for a second. But I trust Luca. I’m pretty much a bloody disciple at this point hahaha. I fell head over heels for these characters and I don’t want to never see them again - especially Elio. Once you’ve seen Timmy’s Elio, I’d defy anyone to NOT want more.

So, in summary. THE MOVIE IS MAGICAL. It is different from the novel in some areas, in some it brings to life the pivotal moments in the first portion of the novel and although it misses out some of my most cherished portions of the novel, in my view, the movies doesn’t suffer for it. I hold them both dear for different reasons and they compliment one another in the loveliest way!

[imaginingcriminalminds]

Things Past Chapter 7

Title: Things Past Chapter 7  Author: delusionsofnostalgia Rating: Chapter rating: T+             Story Rating:M

Prompt: based on this imagine/drabble request: Could you possibly do a one shot of Reid/reader where they used to date (the team never knew about the two of you) and you had a bad breakup.   Then a couple of years later the reader is called in to consult on a case the BAU has and it’s clear Reid still has feelings for her.   Main Character(s): Spencer Reid, Reader Chapter Trigger Warning: Brief mention of violence, reader is in hospital due to injury. Multishot: Chapter 7 [All chapters in this story will have the tag “things past.”] Author’s Notes: So it’s been over a year since I’ve updated this story and I SINCERELY apologize! Things got really hectic but I’ve always wanted to finish this. Thank you guys for the messages telling me that you liked it. I hope this chapter lives up to it and you still want to know the end of this one! Again, I am so sorry it took so long. This is the last chapter before the Epilogue, please enjoy and feel free to message me.   [No Morgan arc spoilers]

Chapter 7

A tall, young doctor quickly follows behind the nurse who had pulled Spencer away and despite your still hazy eyesight you can see a panicked Spencer standing outside the glass door that had just been slid shut on him. 

His hands are buried in the pockets of his dark slacks and his tongue darts out to wet his lips as his head whips quickly between the monitor displaying your vitals and the doctor standing on your left side taking your pulse. 

You want to smile, but feel like that might be slightly inappropriate given the situation. Spencer. He was here. He was still here. After weeks of working with the team and him avoiding you, you were sure you’d wake up alone, if you had ever woken up again. 

The doctor is explaining patiently that you had suffered blunt force trauma to the back of your skull which resulted in a pretty severe concussion added to which, you had taken a bullet to the stomach. 

It had been a clean shot, through and through, more on your left side, thankfully missing internal organs. 

However, shaking his head, he admitted that you had been delayed in getting here and had lost a large amount of blood. Now that you were awake they wanted to keep you under observation but he was sure you’d make a full, if not speedy, recovery. 

“Ok, I’m going back outside and I’m going to let Dr. Reid in,” at the look on your face the doctor chuckles lightly, “oh yes, I know his name, he’s been accosting my floor staff for the past 36 hours for minute by minute updates on you, when he wasn’t busy lecturing my nurses on how to properly attend to you of course.”

You laugh, your eyes traveling over to the messy brown hair and lanky form pacing outside the glass door. 

You clutch your stomach at the sudden, sharp pain but nod gently, “Sorry about that Doc. He’s just a little overzealous sometimes.”

Your doctor shrugs patiently. “It’s okay. I’ve seen a lot of people go crazy when the people they truly love are injured or sick.”

He walked out of the room as you were left to process what he had said; truly love? You and Spencer had shared that kiss before the raid but love? He hadn’t even wanted to speak to you a few days ago, couldn’t even stand to be in the same room. 

Just as you begin to give the notion serious thought, there’s an explosion of noise from outside your room and you clock an excited Penelope Garcia tottering towards you. You glance around her; Spencer has cornered your doctor and was assaulting him with barrage of questions. 

“Y/N!!!! Oh my god! Thank goodness you’re alright!” Penelope envelops you in a vanilla scented hug.

“Hi Penny.” You say softly, trying to return her hug but wincing as you move your arms.

“No no! You rest up! Don’t you dare move your arms! The rest of the team are still here, I just called Morgan to let them know that you’re awake. We were so worried, and Boy Wonder hasn’t slept in days,” she leans closer to you, the fake diamonds on the rims of her glasses winking at you in the fluorescent light, “we didn’t want to leave him alone, we weren’t sure what he’d do, he was losing his mind, pacing, drinking wayyyyyyy too much coffee, even more than usual, he even called his Mom.”

You open and closed your mouth quickly. So it hadn’t been a hallucination. Diana Reid had been at your bedside at some point. 

Penelope is droning on in the background about the unsub being in custody; your deductions along with Spencer’s are what led them right. JJ was apparently feeling pretty guilty over a recently inconsolable Spencer at your bedside, she had felt it was her fault that you had gotten hurt, she was on your six after all.  

You shake your head vehemently at this statement, “JJ has nothing to be sorry for, Spencer loves her, there’s nothing he wouldn’t forgive her, especially me, he couldn’t even stand me when we were working together on the case.” 

Before Penelope can answer, the sound of the vacuum seal on the room door opening interrupts your conversation. 

You look to the man in question as he enters silently. There’s stubble on that perfect jawline and his usually hazel eyes are dark, almost black, matching the circles surrounding them. You hold out a hand to him, regarding him with a soft smile. This man, the man you loved and still love.

His lean form crosses to the other side of your bed. Spencer gently intertwines his graceful fingers with yours on the crisp white hospital sheet, his other hand moving to cup your cheek. You instantly leaned into his touch and closed your eyes, relishing his presence. 

“Uh…..um,” Penelope coughed lightly, “why don’t I go let the others know that Y/N is stable and that we should be ready to travel soon.” 

“y/n….” Spencer sat on the chair where he had been sleeping for the past few days, at your side. 

“Spence.” His name came out as a croak and he quickly reached for the plastic cup of water and held the straw to your lips. His eyes searched your face, as if he was drinking in and memorizing every second, ever micro-expression, every glance in his direction. You want to reach out to touch him, have him near you. 

As he removed the cup you took your chance, “Spence, would you do me a favour?”

“Anything.” came the quiet but definite response. His lips pursed slightly at the side as you had seen them do so many times before, his eyebrows creasing slightly. You reached out with a light laugh and ran your index softly in between his eyes down his nose. “Don’t frown so much Dr. Reid, no one died.”

You were just making a joke, trying to alleviate his seriousness but you realized his brown eyes were filling with tears. 

“Oh Spence, come here.” You begged him, your voice quivering a little as you slowly lifted your arms and held them open.

He shook his head, his brown hair fluttering slightly, making it even messier, his soft hands never leaving your own. 

“I shouldn’t, the doctors said that you shouldn’t be moved or have any physical exertion.”

“Spencer. Please.” You stared at him beseechingly, already trying desperately to shift and finding you didn’t have enough strength. A small smile perks up his lips as he slips a well toned arm under you, easily moving your body slightly to the right side of the bed. 

“I am so glad you’re alright Y/N,” he whispers as he settles next to you, his long legs almost falling off the bed, his sweater clad arms wrapping hesitantly around your upper body. 

You lean into him enjoying the softness of his sweater and the solid support that is his slowly rising and falling chest and he drops a light kiss on your hair.

You take a few deep breaths as you look up at him, seeing him like this reminds you of all the mornings you had woken up to a younger Spencer. He was older now, more filled out, more sure of himself but still just as kind and calming to you.

“Look Spence,” you begin, his worried brown eyes coming to rest on your face, “ you don’t have to stay. You and the team have done enough. I know you don’t even want to be around me. Please don’t stay out of guilt and don’t be so hard on Jennifer, she covered me as much as she could have, I was the liability….. I shouldn’t have been at the raid, you were right.” 

Spencer pulls back from you so quickly that you wince again and let out a gasp, “Ouch.” 

“Y/N.” his eyes are serious, his large hands cupping your face, his thumb brushes your jawline in a soothing motion and you lean into him, willing yourself not to cry, you weren’t going to guilt him into staying even if that was what you wanted most; for Spencer Reid to stay by your side forever. 

“Y/N, I don’t want to leave,” warm brown eyes search your face for a reaction, “I stayed with you because I wanted to be here, I should have been the one watching out for you during the raid, not JJ, I should have been the one to protect you from the start of this.” His words are soft and spoken with a tempered, comforting intonation that belongs solely to Spencer. 

Tears run down to your chin as you stare at the white sheet covering your lower body, “Spencer, you don’t have to be nice to me because I got hurt, I was doing my job, I got sent to help you and your team, I could have asked Hotch to stay behind, I wanted to go in with you guys, I put myself in harm’s way, but you,” you raise a hand to brush hair out of his eyes, “ I know how kind you are Spence, I’ve always loved your kindness, but you didn’t even want to be around me when I was at Quantico, you want to talk to me, or be near me and I understand that. I know what happened between us in the hotel was just late night madness on your part.” you hiccuped, “ I mean I wanted you, wanted you to come to my room, to be with me, to love me, but I know you don’t want me anymore, I know you haven’t in a long time.” 

You stop rambling but don’t dare look up, sniffing harshly to draw in breath. 

Spencer’s brows are drawn down over his eyes, “Y/N…” he looks confused and hurt and you don’t know what you had said to elicit that reaction. 

Without warning his hands move to the back of your neck and he pulls you towards him. You allow him to, ignoring the pain in your side as his lips find yours. 

The kiss is hard, hungry, so different from the usual gentle, seeking kisses he used to give you. He’s pulling at you as though he’s trying to drown in you, drown in your presence, your smell, your own much smaller body providing him some sort of solace. 

His lips move feverishly to the corner of your mouth and then along your jaw, grazing against your neck and finding the soft spot under your ear, his hands delving into your hair at the nape of your neck. You let out a soft groan, somewhere between pleasure and pain as his other hand accidentally skims the bandages over your ribcage. 

“Shit. Sorry.” He pulls back. 

“Spence….”

“No Y/N, let me explain. I…..” he heaves in a breath, leaning away from you to pull your hands into his lap, his long fingers running up and down your arm in light touches, as though he were stroking the keys of a piano. 

“I……I wasn’t avoiding you at Quantico,” you raise your eyebrows and he laughs, a light melodious sound you had missed, “ Ok, ok, maybe I was avoiding you, but not for the reason you think. I couldn’t be around you because it hurt too much. I didn’t know how to deal with it. It felt like there was something ripping inside of me, every time you walked past, every time I smelled your perfume, or heard you laugh or saw you joking around with Penelope or Derek,” his brown eyes are glistening with tears and his mouth was doing that downward curve thing that you hated seeing on him because it meant that he was resisting some strong emotion.

Spencer swallows hard, “Don’t you understand? I left you all those years ago to protect you. I have seen everyone on my team be put in some kind of danger and we have all had someone we care about affected by our jobs. I couldn’t do that to you. Besides dealing with me and my mom, I couldn’t know that you weren’t safe because of me. I couldn’t do that to the person I love, I couldn’t be selfish enough to put your life in jeopardy just so I could wake up next to you, hold you to comfort myself when I came home from a case, eat pancakes with you for dinner…..I loved you too much. You deserved a full and happy life with someone who wouldn’t be gone for weeks at a time and wouldn’t wake up in the night screaming from vicarious trauma. You deserved someone normal. Someone better than me.” 

“Spencer…why didn’t you ever just talk to me?” You ask bewildered by his explanation. 

“Y/N, you were so young, you had your whole life ahead of you. I didn’t want you to be held back, I know how much you worry, I could hear it in your voice every single time that I called you while we were away on a case. I didn’t want you to go through that anymore. You are brilliant and beautiful and kind and funny and so empathetic, I knew you would find someone else, I was sure you would be happier with someone else. I couldn’t talk to you because I couldn’t bear it, I couldn’t bear leaving, I just knew it had to be done.” Spencer’s hot tears mingle with your own as they drop onto your interwoven hands. 

That was why he had left? He had left because he was afraid you’d get hurt? Of him being the reason that you would be hurt?

“Spencer Reid! How dare you?!” you admonished at him. He looks up at you in shock, brown eyes clouding over with confusion. “How could you make that decision for me?! I love you you idiot. be happier with someone else??!?! Spencer,” you lower your tone noticing the hurt in those perfect features, “no one has ever measured up to you. No one could be as brave or kind or funny or eccentric as you. No one’s voice ever calmed me as yours did, no one knew exactly when I needed a hug or a encouraging word, no one was ever like you Spence, I haven’t been able to ever even date anyone else. Who could measure up to you? Who could talk to me about geography and literature and french classic cinema and take me to Dr. Who conventions and teach me how to read German.” He gives you a dopey smile, one that was bashful but lit up the entire room. 

“Spence, I never stopped loving you. It was always only you.”

He sighs, his large body moving closer to yours. Spencer gently leans his forehead down onto your own, “And it’s only ever been you for me too Y/N.”

[franeridart]

This might be too much to ask but I broke my laptop and only have access to mobile and I'm dying to know what I'm actually missing but I can't check would you be able to describe it? Sorry I know this is annoying ignore it if it's too much trouble

It’s not annoying so don’t worry about it, but my posts should all be visible, now? At least my app doesn’t give me the option to request a review anymore… if you can’t see them still they’re all (aside from the one I posted earlier) backed up on my wordpress blog! You can see them from there without me needing to describe them~

Anon said:Franeri-san what dimensions do you usually use for your canvas? When I draw I end up making the canvas too small, so when i zoom in to make details it becomes pixelated. But I also don’t need my canvas too big because I won’t be able to proportion it;; it’s a visual thing… Ah I’m rambling sorry

I use a 6000pxx5000px with a 4px brush, usually, but I really rarely use it all, mostly it’s just like, corners of the whole thing. I tend to draw a lot of things on the same canvas before switching to a new one - that said, personally I can’t draw properly if I don’t zoom in above 100% (usually I work at 150% or 200%, more for details) so I’m really not the right person to ask this haha

Anon said:I saw that profanity is now being blocked more heavily by safe search so our good, good but foul mouthed Baku may be the reason your stuff is hidden. You’ve probably already heard this but I thought I’d let you know~

Rip so I heard orz though let’s not give our Baku all the fault here, I swear a lot by myself too haha I’m my own ruin, seems like - thank you for taking your time to share the info, anyway!!

Anon said:I’m really happy about your blog not being censored seriously. CAUSE YOU MAKE WONDERFUL DRAWINGS THAT FILL MY HEART AND I WAS STARTING TO PANICK. Keep up the good work~. 🖤

And I’m really happy you can properly see my blog, you sweet sweet cute and adorable anon!!!!!!!!!! *O*

Anon said:Hello! First, I love your art and your headcanons and stories! I am in love with bakushima half because of you, you beautiful tart. Second, about Bakugo’s laugh, holy crikey, of course he’s loud and explosive. The boy is a ball of stress and anger and when he laughs for real, it’s rare and takes effort. But like, can you just imagine when his explodo-kill mask cracks his face turns red because he doesn’t want to laugh. But THEN he barks out a laugh and everybody’s stunned and then he just SNORTS

YES!!!!!!! Oh my god yes that’s an hc I have he definitely, definitely snorts when he tries to hold back his laughter it’s so effin adorable I die every day a lot bless that kid

Anon said:Who tops of in your opinion in Bakushima?👀

Maybe either, maybe neither, depends on many things but mostly on how I don’t ever ask myself this question for any of my ships so I got no answer for it at all ever - instead we should ask ourselves the important questions, like who opens the water bottles between them (Kirishima when Bakugou’s palms get too sweaty and Bakugou’s forever resentful about it), who kicks when they sleep and who always ends up sleeping on the floor because of it (Bakugou’s the restless sleeper, poor Kirishima), who takes way too damn long in the bathroom goddamnit Kirishima get out of there already I swear to go——-

Anon said:your blog makes me really happy just keep doing you you’re like the best thing

Thank you so much holy smokes!!!!!!!!!! *O*

Anon said:wait wait wait wait! is Bakugou the one teaching Shark Kirishima sign language?? then does that mean Kirishima learned to sign ‘I love you’ from Bakugou!? (Q/)////(\Q)

They’re learning together!! They have an online dictionary and follow online courses, so Kirishima kind of looked it up for himself at first - he was signing it as love instead of really like thoug, which made Bakugou indecently flustered so in the end, yes, he was the one to teach him how to properly sign it :D

Anon said:Will you still be updating this blog?

Sure will! The wordpress one is just a backup thing!

Anon said:wait so question: in the mer au, does kiri know jsl from before? because the way he reacted to bakugou first attempting to sign at him looked like he recognized it but you said they both had to learn? does he react like that because he recognizes it as bakugou actively trying to communicate? (btw this au is So Good i love how kaminari is just “why are you like this” at kiri but his Gay Ass cant be swayed)

I’m glad you like it!!!!! And nope Kiri didn’t know jsl from before, but mers do have something similar to a sign language (there’s deaf and mute merpeople too, after all) so he recognized it as Bakugou going “I want to talk to you and this is the best way to” - also, he’d never seen a tablet before and Bakugou was showing him an explosion on it to make him understand and instead he went “what is this SORCERY” and got excited about a gif. Good, pure kid. I had no clue how to add that in the comic in a fast way tho so let’s leave it at him being happy they found a possible way to communicate haha

Anon said:Hi Fran!!! Hace you reas the theoriws aboyo kiri o kaminari Boeing traitors? Si you know where they came up? I’m lil bit lost even tho I’m up with the man lmao ALSO pls more maki-chan

So pretty much at some point in the middle of a meeting Present Mic mentioned how there probably was a traitor between them that kept on feeding the villains infos about UA, and the fandom of course got interested in that!! Who could it be? They started thinking it through and for some reason the theories that ended up being more popular are about it being either Kaminari, Kirishima or Hagakure - I don’t think any of these are true, but if you google search “kaminari traitor theory” or the same with the other two names you should easily find the posts explaining the theories and where they come from, if you’re interested!

Anon said:omg fran i haven’t watched/read bnha but still solely bc of your art i am IN LOVE with kirishima. he’s such a pure being I feel like crying every time i see him??? like i just watched the first opening of the anime and you bet i watched the 5 seconds kirishima gets over and over. like all the bnha kids seem great. i am somehow extremely motivated to read bnha now thanks to your art. BUT OH MY GOD KIRISHIMA I LOVE HIM SO MUCH WHAT EVEN

You picked the best fave you could ever pick, anon!!! Kirishima is the BESTEST boy, purest and brightest and energetic and actual sunshine and also super strong and resilient and kind of an ass now and again but in a good way he’s GREAT I’m IN LOVE with him good job your intuition is perfect

Anon said:THE MER AU WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER I LOVE SHARK KIRISHIMA AND THE TAGS ALL GAVE ME LIFE

GLAD YOU LIKED IT OMG!!!!!!!

Anon said:I love all your art, but especially all your self indulgent stuff bc first off HELLS YEAH DO THE STUFF THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY and another is it feels like self indulgent stuff for me but I’m not the one making the thing… So like… It’s Good™ BUT YEAH ANYWAYS I LOVE YOUR ART AND YOU AND YOUR ART MAKES ME HAPPY TBH I HOPE YOU’RE HAVING A LOVELY DAY

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH also this is super nice to know because sometimes being self-indulgent is all I can manage to do haha r i p but at least now I’ll know you, for one, will like it!!! That’s nice!!!!!!

Anon said:If you were ever bored and wanted to do more of your mershark au thing I wouldn’t be mad at all ! 😝 your art is so cute and easily recognizable and I really enjoy it! Stay beautiful lovely Fran!

!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I really, really think I will!!!!!!!! :D

Anon said:I bet if denki tried to do the “if i jump at ______ they will most certainly catch me” with bakugou, bakugou would just let him fall

Oh my god no Bakugou’s reflexes and instincts are too fast and automatic the actual reaction at seeing someone run and jump at him would be without thinking trying to explodo-kill them don’t jump at him Kaminariiiii

Anon said: What to you think of a school dance bnha concept thing???

I read a bakushima about it once and I DIED so actually A++++ great perfect amazing concept I love it

Anon said:I gotta know,what do you think of the “Dabi is Todoroki Shouto’s brother” theory? i personally feel like that 1’s the most likely theory to become a legit thing but im curious

I talked about this on my main just the other day!! And added something about it earlier through another ask! But generally I think it’s believable, and I wouldn’t mind it being true :D

Anon said:But, what are your feelings about this chapters? And Kirishima? God, I love him even more and want him to be happy, but Im also dying to know what happened to him in his past!!

I CRIED I love that boy so much I swear it’s getting ridiculous I’m so so proud of him and how far he’s come and I just want him to be happy??? I do want to know his past tho!!! I’ve just been asking for this for, like, eight months!! I hope next one will be the one I’ll finally learn about my child tbh ;–;

Anon said:Fran you should totally do bnha and haikyuu calendars

………………..boi that sounds like a lot of work, anon. Like, it’s an interesting idea, but also my lazy ass is telling me no way no what the heck go to sleep instead r i p

Anon said:Have you ever thought of an eraser mic fusion?

I’ve drawn it already!!

Anon said:fran i?? i love the way you draw smiles?? idk i was just going through your art and i realized that holy SHIT i really love the way you draw smiles. like each smile is different and has its own specialty. esp bakugo’s smile I LOVE HOW YOU DRAW HIS SMILE!! like usually it’s not really noticeable but then there’s that slight quirk of his mouth (see what i did there?) and it’s so perfect. idk dude i just REALLY LOVE THE WAY YOU DRAW SMILES

THIS IS SUCH A CUTE ASK I DON’T KNOW HOW TO ANSWER HELP ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you????? so much??????? I’m glad you like them cause honestly I love drawing people smiling and laughing, it makes my heart smile too~

Anon said:Theres a bnhaStuck blog in the works ;)

That’s? Nice! I guess!! I hope whoever’s working on it will have fun with it!!

Anon said:Fran this last BNHA chapter hurt so bad. And then I saw your mer-Kiri and it cheered me up!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m glad I could cheer you up cause honestly I felt that pain a whole damn lot too ;A; let’s hope Kiri won’t have to suffer much more in this arc #sob

Anon said:im crying fran, my hard bby kiri in the latest chap,,, my baby boi, i know that i wanted to know more abt him but,, keep my baby safe pls oh goodness gracious… (and as usual ur bootiful art keeps me alive)

I mean nearly all the character arcs we got are damn sad so it was obvious Kiri’s was going to be too, but still ;A; don’t make him suffer too bad Hori I beg u ;A;

Anon said:*takes deep breath* I FUCKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR MAKING QUALITY ART OF MY FAVOURITE SHIPS YOU ARE SUCH AN AMAZING PERSON AND YOUR ART IS VERY PRETTY AND I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR EXISTING IN GENERAL BYe

THANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO MUCH OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:!!!!!!FRAN!!!!!! YOUR MER!KIRI AU!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D I’m glad you enjoy it!!!!!! 

Anon said:I love your work 😍. You are the only one who makes comics About my favourite ships. I check your web everyday If you post something new. My fav ships are I.waoi, bok.uroo and bak.ushima. Love your work 🙂

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh thank you!!!! holy smokes!!!!!

Anon said:Do you have an OC for Boku no Hero Academy?

The closest things to bnha ocs I have are the fusions, right now, but there’s a couple of asks in my inbox about a bkkr kid… soon……..

Anon said:Quick question, I want to read haikyuu, I’ve watched the anime already and I was wondering how close the anime follows the manga, like how bnha is basically identical, is it the same? Or is there a bit of difference *^*

I’m SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME FOREVER TO ANSWER - I bet you already found your answer elsewhere, but anyway the anime is pretty much exactly the same as the manga!!

Anon said:Back on the topic of hq!!! I find it funny how people ask about bok.uroo so much as if you dont like them anymore when they’re literally still your header, like if you didn’t care for them they’d think you’d change it to bakushima or something

I’ve literally thought about changing my header so often but then I look at it and I’m like….. my kids………… I can’t do this………………. not yet…………………. same for my icon tbh haha I love them too much rip

Anon said:Okay but what if Kirishima makes a really stupid pun and Bakugou just turns away with a curse and he’s just covering his mouth and quietly giggling into his hand because even he can’t believe he found that funny, and that is SHAMEFUL. And Sero in the distance is just looking at him, all disappointed. Quietly judging the fact that Kirishima and Bakugou are practically meant for one another.

You wanna know the best thing the absolute best thing? My very first bnha comic was something eerily similar to the first part of this ask! Only Bakugou was the one to accidentally make a pun - I’d link it but honestly my style was ridiculous back then so not happening, just know that I’m 100% sure that post is the reason why I keep on drawing bnha comics about puns, my very first post set the path for all the others to come hah a curse I don’t actually mind

Anon said:are you planning on starting another series? like the bokuroteru tattoo shop au you did (it was real dandy and rad) it was what made me find your blog, so i was wondering if you have any future plans for anything similar. i really like your blog lots, i hope you have a nice day!

Right now I don’t actually have any idea orderly enought to make a proper series out of it, rip - maybe in the future, tho! That one comic was fun to make, after all!! And thank you!!!!!!!!

Anon said:IM HARDCORE IN LOVE WITH TODOSHIMA THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR RUINING MY LIFE❤️❤️

I’M GLAD YOU LIKED HIM OH M Y GODS!!!!

[raendown]

Naruto Tag

It took me a couple days to get around to this, sorry! I was tagged by @moonfox22​ and @dimancheetoile​. Thanks guys!

Top 5 characters

1. Kakashi 2. Tobirama 3. Minato 4. Sakura 5. Obito

A character you’ve been disappointed in their development and why

This might be unpopular but Iruka. Don’t get me wrong, I still love my sweet little sensei. But I really don’t like the way he was portrayed in Road to Ninja or the wedding arc at the end of the anime. At the beginning of the show he is built up to be this kind man who learns to understand Naruto and care for him despite the demon fox inside the boy. I took from those things that he was the kind of person who was willing to listen to your problems.

But in Road to Ninja he just flat out yells at Naruto for being sad that his father is dead? He doesn’t even listen to Naruto or try to talk to him about these feelings? Like, yeah at the end of the movie they have that cute scene where Iruka shows up with a cake and that’s nice and all. But I don’t agree with the way they portrayed that conversation at the ramen stand.

Same thing with the very last episode of the anime. Naruto comes over to visit him before his wedding and Iruka screams at him for neglecting her? And he says something like “there are things I failed to teach you about being a human” as if Naruto is doing something wrong just by visiting someone that is supposed to be precious to him? They’re supposed to view each other as brothers, what is supposed to be wrong with Naruto visiting him?

I dunno, it just bothered me that they seem to jump Iruka’s personality around from caring to careless whenever they need a convenient plot disturbance.

A character you wish had more panel/screen time

I wish we could have seen Ino actually doing something. We saw her flitting about Konoha and she appeared in some battles but usually did very little. I would have loved to see some of her actually being the bad ass I know she can be. I wanted to see her working in the Intelligence division like her father before her or destroying minds with her jutsu.

Favourite arc

Kakashi Gaiden. The whole thing. Hands down. Not only was the story line centered entirely around my ultimate fav, but it was a good story line. It showed Kakashi growing and changing, learning new things and letting that new knowledge change him as a person. We got to see the cold cruel beginning but also the moments of mercy and the proof that his humanity was still there. Knowing what he went through when he was younger changed everything about how I watched his older self interact with the people and events around him.

Favourite antagonist and why

I think a toss-up between Pein and Kisame. Neither of them were inherently evil but they were pushed towards evil acts by their disillusionment with the world around them. Pein as Nagato was such a little cinnamon roll who just wanted to make the world a better place and protect his friends. Then when he lost the most important person in his world he thought “fuck you I will force the world to be better”. Kisame was similar; he was just trying to do what he was told and be an obedient shinobi. When he questioned how actually fucked up the things he was asked to do were, he was punished for it. He joined the Akatsuki because they were trying to build a perfect world and, being really disillusioned with reality, he was happy to help with that plan. Not to mention - and yes I am this petty - Kisame is kinda hot!

Thoughts on Akatsuki and its evolution in the plot

The characters were very different from each other and very interesting. I liked the strange thing they had going on where they were fighting for world peace by murdering everyone. xD It was just kind of unique to me that their end goal was the perfect world that would make everyone happy, but of course they’re ruthless and willing to make sacrifices to achieve that goal.

By the end though I was more in to the individual characters than the Akatsuki as a whole because the organization got weird and messy and not written very well plot-wise. I wish we had more arcs on those characters, where they came from and what they had gone through while in this organization.

Choose a fixed point in the manga, alter it and give me your canon divergence

Instead of just leaving Obito’s body behind, Minato and his two surviving students wait for the earthquake to settle then go about retrieving their fallen friend. Oh, hey, surprise! Obito isn’t dead! They bring him back to the Leaf and he receives mass amounts of healing. They are able to save his organs but his arm and leg are fitted for prosthetics. Kakashi keeps the eye. They train together and become the single most terrifying duo you will ever face on any battlefield ever. Maybe fall in love along the way *winkwink*. Madara might find someone else to try and help with his plans but they fail as soon as they try and all of my precious babies live happily ever after. U.U

A canon ship that didn’t disappoint (hard, I know)

Can I use a FRIENDship instead of a relationship? Does that count? Because Kakashi and Gai are BroTP forever. These two idiots have literally never let each other down. They will fight for each other and believe in each other until they have both dragged in their dying breath.

Favourite rare pair/crack ship

Fav crack pairing will always be MadaKaka xD

A piece of fanart you love and wish to promote the artist

Uhhhh everything that anyone has ever drawn for me? 

@syndellwins has done so many pieces for me and they are all wonderful. Hard to choose between them but I think this one of one of my KakaHana sequels might still be my fav.

@mrsvasiliev has gifted me the world’s best Kaka-butt more than once, starting with this glorious piece, also of one of my KakaHana soulmate au’s. 

@thetoxicstrawberry knows exactly what she’s done. Of the ones on tumblr I would have to say my fav from her art is Madara in gotdamn footie pajamas! Drawn for a small MadaKaka piece written by me. 

And most recently but certainly not least @redhothollyberries has created some beautiful art for the MadaTobi sequel I am almost half done. I might still be drooling on this. *shhhh*

You are all incredible and amazing people! I bow to your talents!

Top 5 Naruto fanfictions you even read

Hnnngggg uhm there are way too many. I’m just going to list the first ones that I can think of.

(Force) Trick or Treat by  Hiruma_Musouka Pairing: MadaraTobirama Summary: Uchiha Tajima has developed a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy regarding his sons' social lives since Madara and Izuna met the Senju family. This is because whenever Izuna tells him things, he generally regrets asking. (Or: The only thing more ridiculous than Uchiha and Senju in proximity to one another are Uchiha and Senju in proximity to Halloween parties.) "

As Is The Sea Marvelous by blackkat Pairing: MadaraTobirama Summary: Tobirama is willing to give absolutely anything for Hashirama and his dream.

Your Most Important Person by Yunyu Pairing: KakashiSakura Summary: Some people got their soulmarks on their arms or faces or some other place that was more difficult to hide. He remembered how Minato-sensei’s hair would sometimes be lifted by the wind enough to reveal “Uzumaki Kushina dattebane!” written boldly across the back of his neck in crimson. His teacher had sometimes laughed in his gentle way about it, saying that fate was determined to make things easy for him.

The Nature Of Water Is To Find Another Path by Aesolucian Pairing: TobiramaIzuna Summary: This is a story about how a cat drastically changed the course of history. This is a story about trying not to be human. This is a story about Senju Tobirama and his family.

The Bijozakura Seal by megyal Pairing: KakashiIruka Summary: Kakashi and Iruka are bonded together, entirely against their wishes. While Iruka begins to deal with it, Kakashi still has... doubts.

The More We Get Together by KakashiSauce Pairing: KakashiTenzou Summary: Tenzou has been accepted into ANBU and is looking forward to his new life, with what he hopes will be his new friends. His vision of a harmonious team dynamic is shattered when his captain is introduced to him; and makes it quite clear from the start that he is NOT going to make things easy for Tenzou. The more we get together, the happier we'll be.

Okay I did six, so sue me. There are so many favs and I wanted to put them all in.

What is your opinion on the last arc, Kaguya and the whole “children of the Sage, destined to fight, blablabla”

*sigh*

That’s it. That’s the whole opinion.

Your fondest memory while reading/watching Naruto

Uhhhhh…I don’t know. Every time one of the main characters accomplishes something I’m just bawling like a proud mama.

When you started Naruto, what was the arc? What made you want to read/watch more?

The very first episode just had me, you know? xD This little boy who no one liked and was always mean to found out why and found a person to love him. The anger on his face when he told Mizuki to never lay a hand on his sensei again was just *clutches heart* sign me up for more.

If Kishimoto gave you a chance to write a filler, what would it be about?

The adults! I would see what Minato got up to during his childhood or maybe an episode about Sakumo and Kakashi’s mom. If not them then possibly Genma and Raidou? I just want to know everything about everyone, okay???

I’m not tagging anyone because I am super late with this and I don’t know who all has done it. If you haven’t done it yet feel free to and tag me so I can read your responses!

[simsstuffmarie]

100 Questions To Invade My Personal Life

I haven’t been tagged by anyone but I just thought I’d give it a go as I’m bored! Found this on @angelisims Simblr 😁

1. What's your middle name, and do you like it? My middle name is Marie and I do quite like it actually...it's pretty common lol

2. Are you artistic? Yeah I love doodling and just drawing random things occasionally

3. Have you had your first kiss? Duhhhhhh! I have a boyfriend!

4. What is your life goal? To be successful in my personal goals

5. Do you have any experiences with a famous person? I met Princess Diana when I was little, and a few years ago when I was doing my family tree I found out that my 5th cousin is Michael Douglas lol

6. Do you play any sports? Only if sleeping is classed as a sport?!?!

7. What's your worst fear? Being unhappy and unsuccessful....oh and spiders and heights

8. Who's your biggest inspiration? Myself....never aspire to be anybody else because it will never make you happy

9. Do you have any cool talents? Not really....I can fit my fist in my mouth! Does that count?

10. are you a morning person? HELL NO!!!

11. How do you feel about pet names? Me and Will have them....so I don’t really care. I never really call people by their proper names anyway 12. Do you like to read? Yes. But I rarely get time to sit down with a good book without being interrupted by someone 13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life. Grey's Anatomy - I’ve loved that show since episode one Band Of Brothers/ The Pacific - Just amazing True Blood - Yeassss Vampire Diaries - Ermmmmm....is their one member of that cast who isn’t hot?!

14. Do you care about your follower count?

I’m not overly obsessed with it, but it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling when I see I’ve got a new follower (love you all btw!!)

15. What's the best dream you've had?

I can’t really remember my dreams

16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender?

I always kiss my girlfriends....not in a passionate way, just a little peck! Especially when we’ve been out for the night haha

17. Do you have any pets?

Not personally, but I treat my boyfriends' dog like he is mine

18. Are you religious?

Nope

19. Are you a people person?

I get a bit anxious and stressed out/ short tempered if there is a lot of people around in large crowds

20. Are you considered popular?

I don't think so..............

21. What is one of your bad habits?

Self-doubt

22. What's something that makes you feel vulnerable

Being around people who “look better” and are in better physical shape than me

23. What would you name your children?

Girl - Raynor Boy - Finn

24. Who's your celebrity crush?

Tom Hardy, Kellan Lutz, Charlie Hunnam, Shemar Moore, Jamie Dornan, Henry Cavill, Tyson Beckford.....I could actually go on forever!! 

25. What's your best subject?

Human Biology, physiology and anatomy

26. Dogs or cats?

Both

27. Most-used social media besides Tumblr?

Facebook

28. Best friends name

Vikki, Hayley and Nikki

29. Who does your main family consist of?

Me, my mum and my older brother

30. Chocolate or sugar

Chocolate

31. Have you ever been on a date?

Several

32. Do you like rollercoasters?

Only if they have over-the-head supports....not just the lap bars

33. Can you swim?

Yes, but not very well

34. What would you do in the event of an apocalypse?

My boyfriend and me actually always have this discussion and have it all worked out! There's an old prison near where we live and an abandoned army base just up the hill - and the town centre is only 10min walk away! Perfect!

35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder

Anxiety - increasing at the moment.

36. Are your parents together?

Nope - divorced when I was really little

37. What's your favourite colour?

Any warm colour

38. What country are you from/do you live in?

ENGLAND!!! 

39. Favourite singer?

P!NK, Adele, James Arthur

40. Do you see yourself being famous some day?

Nope

41. Do you like dresses?

Yeah, as long as it isn't too tight

42. Favourite song right now?

Thunder - Imagine Dragons Skin - Rag’n’Bone Man

43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

No, if you’re old enough to do it, you should be mature enough to talk about it.

44. How old were you when you first got your period?

I was quite late starting. I was 15.

45. Have you ever shot a gun?

Yeah

46. Have you ever done yoga?

Yep

47. Are you a horror girl?

I don’t mind them, but they can all be quite similar

48. Are you good at giving advice?

Great at giving it. Crap at taking it!

49. Tell us a story about your childhood.

My dad used to be in the army and we lived several places. When we lived in Cyprus we used to visit the old ruins and amphitheatre and there were loads of lizards that used to hide in the cracks of the old buildings. I decided I wanted one of them to take home so I grabbed hold of its tail, but it was stuck and I kept pulling and pulling and eventually the tail actually came off of the lizard! Immediately I started crying.

One Christmas 9also when we lived in Cyprus actually) I wanted snow on the Christmas tree, but we didn't have fake snow, so I decided to use my mum's expensive face cream and smothered the tree in cream. 

The same Christmas, me and my brother woke up before my mum and dad and decided to “sneak” into the front room to open the presents. When we got to the front room door, the handle had been taken off the door and closed, so we decided to go around the back door, which was also locked. Then tried looking through the windows but they had put bin bags all over the windows and drawn the curtains. We went back in and decided to sit my the front room door until they woke up, but we fell asleep and they found us asleep by the door on the floor.

50. How are you doing today?

Yeah, I’m OK. Thanks for asking

51. Were you a cute kid?

Newborn - yea I think I was Toddler - I was cheeky Child - Scrawny Teen - awkward

52. Can you dance?

When I’ve had a drink

53. Is there anything you do that you can't remember ever not doing?

Breathing? Eating? Drinking?

54. Have you ever dyed your hair?

Yeah quite a few times actually, just not for a long long time now

55. What colour are your eyes?

They change depending on my mood - green/blue/hazel/grey

56. What's your favourite animal?

Hedgehogs - I want one

57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself?

All the time!!!

58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

My mum and I are close (even though she annoys the hell out of me) But me and my dad not really because he left when I was young. We still always saw him, but it sometimes feels like I don't know him properly...IDK....

59. Do you have good friends?

The most amazing friends....

60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group?

I know loads of different people...I don’t really label anyone. If you’re decent to me then I’m cool with you...

61. What's your favourite class?

I don’t really have class at university....

62. List all the tv shows you are watching.

Love Island, Big Brother, OITNB, Sons Of Anarchy, Prison Break, Benidorm, Grey’s Anatomy

63. Are you organised?

I try to be

64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion?

Split....it was actually quite good

67. Which tv character do you relate to most?

I have no clue

68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness?

Finances

69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?

Travelling the world

70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die?

Nothing....because every decision I made before has made me who I am now

71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you?

I don’t care if nobody judges me

72. If you could start over, what would you do differently?

Nothing

73. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Definitely

74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new?

Today

75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?

My bed

76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today?

I got off my arse and got myself into university

77. What did you want to be when you were a kid?

Everything! Nurse, Air Hostess, Vet, Super Model, Ballerina, Solider, Farmer, Roman, Pop Star, Barbie, Nightclub Owner, Architect, Interior Designer..... 

78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking?

Nothing...because real friends and family support you no matter what.

79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have?

That's really personal and I don’t wanna talk about it.....sorry.....

80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence

Finish my degree, get a job, buy my own house, get married and have children

81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like?

Skinny

82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity?

Seeing new things, trying new food, living!

83. How would you spend a billion dollars?

Same as above - maybe invest half of it and buy a new house and treats for my closest

84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?

Future - there is no point in trying to change the past as it got you to the place you are now....Live and Learn

85. What motivates you to succeed?

My family, friends and boyfriend

86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most?

It was an awful nightmare - about my brother and mum being murdered in front of me

87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why?

The woods - because it's peaceful

88. Do you believe in life after death

Yes

89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they?

They all thought I’d fail. Love proving people wrong. It makes me fight for everything

90. What’s your fondest childhood memory?

Living in Cyprus

91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why?

My Grandad - I miss the old grumps

92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy?

Some of these really beautiful videos about people helping in the time of need, really romantic marriage proposals, and probably my first ultrasound scan if I was pregnant

93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life?

You need to make a decision for yourself. Never be pressurised into it. It may be a tough one to start with and it will probably make you cry for years and years to come. But somewhere it was the right decision for you. 

94. What do you think happens after we die?

Life carries on....

95. What would you do if you could be invisible?

Sneak into loads of celebrities houses because I’m nosey

96. What's something you can't do no matter how hard you try?

Roll my tongue and roll my R’s

97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring?

Nope - they'd be perfect no matter what

98. How did your first crush develop?

Not very well lol

99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it?

Anxiousness and regret

100. Do you live or do you just exist?

At the moment I just exist - but I’m trying to live

I’d like to nominate people, but it is actually really long, and took me forever to do. So if you fancy doing it, just tag me because I’d love to read them all.

[aparoxysm]

3,5,7,8,9,12,15,18,19,20

✿  Does anyone in real life know about your RPing hobby and what, if anything, have they said about it?

My parents know, because for as long as I’ve been on the internet, they’ve known that I like to write and write with friends overseas. My dad still calls it fanfiction somtimes to other people, like he’s proud of me or something, and that’s enough to make me want to never talk to him again out of embarrassment, ha, but I deal with it. Because I truly do love writing more than anything. Other than that, my boyfriend knows, but he doesn’t care about it / ask questions and I don’t really like to tell him about it either. I’m not as embarrassed about RP as I used to be, but I still feel like it’s just something for me that other people wouldn’t really understand the mechanics of. The only times my boyfriend and I do acknowledge it is when I start talking about an RP friend he hasn’t heard about before like a real life friend, so he’s like who dat and im like oh, new rp friend from > insert country

That being said, he actually did surprise me the other week and I have been holding onto it for fear life. We were complaining about a friend who literally just sleeps and watches Netflix all day when she’s not working, and he’s like “I don’t get how you can do that” and im like “Well I have friends online who claim to do that a lot. Me, personally, I’d get too bored.” and hes like “I just don’t get how people can do nothing all the time? Like at least with you and your online stuff, that’s still doing something. I just feel like that’s actually a hobby.” and I kind of didn’t hear whatever else it is he said because he actually ??? referred to my RP addiction as something valid and worthy??? and all this time i’ve assumed he didn’t get it and thought it was dumb??? IDK, it made me feel good.

✿  Have you considered writing professionally or do you have plans to?

Always. But I never will, I don’t think.

✿  How do you handle the toxicity sometimes found in the roleplaying community, particularly in fandoms?How has roleplaying, specifically, impacted your life?

I use tumblr savior to blacklist a lot, because it really gets too much for me to be exposed to it a lot, and it makes me feel shitty and not want to rp with certain people because of how they behave, or makes me feel guilty for how I behave… I usually drift away from things that give me major negative vibes, otherwise I become in great, exponential danger of saying something i’ll regret. I’ve hated Tumblr RP a lot in this last year. It’s nowhere near as relaxed as it used to be, and I know there’s a lot of political debate on the topic of equality but I am not comfortable in a space where I have to edit everything I do and say or just not do or say it at all. When it gets like that level, a good dose of the unfollow button and keeping my mouth shut is what I find the most helpful.

✿  How has writing improved your life and do you see yourself sticking with it?

When I graduated high school, I went to college for art and animation, and it basically ruined my creative life. Before RP, I used to be an avid drawer, I sketched every day, I improved my skills and motivation so much, everyone knew me as the girl who drew in class instead of did her work, the girl who was going to grow up and be a famous artist, and when I went to college, it killed that for me. My ego took a big blow because the tech side of the course absolutely annihilated me, i couldn’t do it. so after that (and that was 2 years ago now) i haven’t really drawn since. but the silver lining was that I took on RP more dedicatedly after that, and found that I truly adored writing. Try as I might, I’ve never really comitted to a personal writing project, and it’s only in the recent times that I’ve taken the pressure off for me to do it, but. RP makes me happy, it makes me feel like I’m doing something good when I reply to people or make new friendships, it makes me feel like I’m wanted and needed, that my characters and plots are valid and that other people would care if I’m here or not. It was a big boost for my self confidence, and it’s also made me so much more privy to the creative world, which i needed after that. so yeah, i see myself sticking with writing.

✿  Is there a quote from a piece of literature that holds great value to you? What is it and why is it important to you?

She stood in front of her closet mirror in her T-shirt and twisted this way and that. What’s wrong with me? She wondered. There was nothing the matter that she could see. She was tall and leggy, like her mother, with full breasts, small waist, and slim hips that curved enough to show she was female. Her skin was gently golden; it was always golden, sun or not, and her tawny hair was thick and long and wild. So why was it that groups of girls stopped talking when she approached them at school and answered her openings with tense words that killed the conversations she tried to start? Was she too good-looking? Was that possible? Was that the threat they saw? 

Legitimately, this was the first and pretty much only female protagonist I had ever read about who fully and whole-heartedly loved herself where it mattered. Sure, she still had her shortcomings and moments of weakness, but god damn, Vivian was so proud of herself and what she stood for, and that was so refreshing to see during that period of young adult fiction. It’s why she became my first favourite character from a book. And has pretty much inspired me to write feirce, aggressive, self-assured female characters ever since. I was just so inspired by her way of thinking as a young girl, it appealed to me so much and so that moment in the book plus a whole lot of others, really stuck with me.

✿  What do you typically look for in a roleplay partner?

Cliche, but chemistry. And not always in the writing kind but a lot in the OOC kind. I like people who I can talk to super easily, who write in the same tumblr language I do, who reference memes and are not afraid to hit me up with IMs and head canons, etc. I just love it because it makes me feel comfortable with a person, and like I’m not being a bother. The better I get to know a player, the better I get to know their character away from IC interactions. Likewise, I adore it when players get to know me so well that they read the patterns in my characters easily, and I don’t feel like I have to explain them all the time? It’s like they just know, and they know what path I want to put them on. I also look for honesty, people who are down to tell me what they’re feeling about a situation or whether something bothers them, or is able to voice if I’m doing something wrong. Most importantly though, I look for decisive people. Not overly decisive but it’s just so important for me to have someone who is like “yes that sounds good, i can start a thing for you if you want” or “i dont think that really fits, how about this plot idea instead?” I really cannot stand sending IMs to people about plots and characters and them just agreeing off the bat the whole time, but never really deciding on anything either, and so it makes me feel like i’m just paddling in a circle until i make all the decisions for us. To me, that’s not what RP is about. It involves teamwork, and effort, and to me, that’s not putting in effort. It gets me really frustrated.

✿  What made you want to join the roleplaying community?

I kept seeing bios in celebrity tags, and so when i sussed out what group rp was on tumblr, i was like holy shit there is a name for the thing i have been doing with friends over email for so many years???? and you can use PICTURES? i gotta get on this.

so somehow, i found a group rp that allowed mythical creatures, i wanted to be a peter pan mermaid, and the rest is history~~

✿  What one piece of literature has been most inspirational/life changing for you? Why?

(( Blood & Chocolate, by Anette Curtis Klause — because of the main character, as per mentioned. She’s inspired me to write full-on, aggressive, assertive, don’t-tell-me-what-i-can-and-cant-do female characters without apology. ))

The Truth About Forever  by Sarah Dessen — it’s hard to explain exactly why, and it doesnt even just involve ONE of her books either, but they’ve kind of shaped my whole general character story directions?? her books always follow a pattern and i really admire that pattern, even if it is repetitive, and i am secretly a hopeless romantic so i really like how her love stories evolve. it’s always slow burning, the boy is usually a direct surprising love interest, and the girl always gains new friends and family out of it, and the stories always involve a nice little reoccurring theme. In the Truth About Forever, it’s a game that she and a boy plays throughout the entire book, which eventually leads to a shift from friendship to something more. THAT PLOT HAS APPEALED TO ME EVERY SINCE. the example of a teeny, tiny, otherwise-completely-average moment greatly impacting the rest of a characters life with someone else… i am weAK for this concept ok. her females are always usally feircely independent too and that gets me ♥

✿  Who are your top three favorite fictional characters and why?

Vivian Gandillon (Blood & Chocolate) — i swear i could go on repeat forever haha, but i’ve basically already mentioned why.

Jace Herondale (Shadowhunter Series) — back when the first like, two books had only been published, i super fell hard for this series and it was straight up because of the commentary done by Jace and his ability to senselessly bicker with everybody in his path. his comments to me, were always absolutely hysterical. i was so in love with his wry and witty comments, especially the way he kept at ease and casual through super distressing situations, and i really wish id kept reading the rest of the series as it was published, but i seriously fell behind. then the movie came out. then the netflix series. now i’ve grown too far out of it and having to see the cast on my dash every second of every day makes me want to burn the books.

Shane Collins (Morganville Vampire Series) — this is an oooold old series that i used to read religiously, and it was more in the style of anita blake and buffy vampires~ rather than twilight and true blood -esque content. it got really weird and complicated though so i gave up on it, but for a time, i adored it. and i loved shane because he was hilariously human, he hated everybody except his housemates (though sometimes that could be questioned) and nobody held a grudge better than him. he had a knack for getting in trouble, usually on his own accord, was feircely protective and spent most of his time just being a genuine nuisance and temper tantrum thrower. i saw a lot of me in him, and idk. i just like people with tempers, i think it makes them super fun to read. 

[heff88]

Hi Wrasslin’ fans, lapsed or otherwise, you may or may not be aware that this little thing called Wrestlemania is tonight and if we get behind it, it might just make it!

We (wrestling nerds) will return to our normal dismissals after tonight, but here's a place for everyone to discuss the biggest AMERICAN wrestling event of the year in all its silly splendour in case any casuals want to get involved. Are you staying up for it? planning on catching up (full or highlights) tomorrow?

In the UK you can watch it either on Sky Box Office or WWE Network, the pre-show starts at 10 pm tonight and the main card at midnight. Given the amount of matches, it's probably safe to say this thing is gonna run til about 5 am...

But anyway, let's break down the card! (Order TBD)

PRE-SHOW: ANDRE THE GIANT MEMORIAL BATTLE ROYALE a.k.a that sweet, sweet WrestleMania payday

Mostly just a bit of fun really, throwing everyone who doesn't have a match in here, INCLUDING THE SMACKDOWN TAG CHAMPS THE USOS. Interestingly, Luke Harper isn't listed (though he might be a surprise) so at the moment the only really credible guys here are The Big Show and Braun Strowman (who should win, really). Couple NXT guys Tian Bing and Killian Dain have announced as debuting here too so look at them as outsiders, otherwise pretty forgettable. There is also rumours that a certain larger than life NFL player may make an entrance...

Prediction: BRAUUUUUUUN

NEVILLE VS AUSTIN ARIES - CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE

Shame this is on the pre-show really, they've spent the better part of the year trying to build these guys up and finally seem to have struck gold with "King" Neville proclaiming "F*** the Mackems" and no one will see them on the big stage. If you are new, (Adrian) Neville is a high-flipping Geordie lad who has recently kicked out in frustration at always been looked down upon (because he's a wee, weird looking Geordie guy) and it's been pretty great. It's kinda off Aries is the face here but anyway, this should be a good match between two excellent workers with an alright story behind it to boot.

Prediction: Aries

MAIN CARD:

Smackdown Women's Title 6-pack challenge Alexa Bliss (c) vs Becky Lynch vs Natalya vs. Mickie James vs. Carmella vs. Naomi

This WAS on the pre-show but WWE actually responded to complaints that its a bit off for the women's division they've spent the last year and a half building as a credible thing to end up on the pre-show. That said it's probably a good shout it will just open the main show instead. I love Alexa Bliss but no chance Naomi isn't taking this, she never "lost" the title and now gets to do it in front of her hometown crowd (was her "injury" a work?) but these are all credible challengers (except maybe Carmella) so should be entertaining enough. This isn't an elimination match, however, so don’t expect it to be too long.

Prediction: Naomi

RAW TAG TITLES LADDER MATCH The Club (Gallows and Anderson) (c) vs. Sheamus & Cesaro vs. Enzo & Cass

Because who doesn't love big ol' tag ladder matches at Mania? This division is a mess after tonight's hosts The New Day (don't sleep on them getting involved) ruled the titles for over a year. This should be fun at least, the only way to make this match a bit more entertaining was to throw some ladders in the mix, although big fella Sheamo might not agree after he received several stitches taking a ladder shot on RAW this week. There are also A LOT of rumours of the Hardys getting involved here but I'm not sold on that just now (would make sense regarding ladders mind). But if not, I think, sadly, this is Enzo & Cass's coronation even though they are clearly the weakest team of the bunch...

Predictions: DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! (but if not S-A-W-F-Ties Enzo & Cass)

INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH Dean Ambrose (c) vs Baron Corbyn

I'm surprised this isn't a no-DQ match given the build of this one. For the uninitiated, Ambrose is "TOTALLY INSANE" whereas “Big Banter Breakfast” Corbyn is a "Lone Wolf" who's gimmick is that he really believes himself to be the next top guy (and fair play to him, I guess). Highlights have included Corbyn trying to murder Ambrose by crushing him with a forklift (which they keep mentioning totally earnestly because WRASSLIN’) and Ambrose literally switching Corbyn off during an interview. Hard to know where Ambrose is at the moment, he started last year SUPA HOT FIRE and seems to have lost all momentum, so would expect this to be Corbyn's moment to prove himself.

Prediction: Corbyn takes the Intercontinental title, labour party, to new heights.

BIG SILLY MIXED TAG TEAM/MARRIAGE PROPOSAL MATCH John Cena & Nikki Bella vs The Miz and Maryse

Holy crap, what a build, what a year these guys have had. On any other year (remember these two headlined a WrestleMania only 6 years ago) this would be the stupidest match on the card... and it is and will be, but that is not a bad thing. This will be pure "sports entertainment" and you know what, I'm actually kinda looking forward to it? Everyone involved's stock has flown up over the course of the last year, and the build for this between them has actually been amazing (If you haven't seen them, do yourself a favour and check out Miz and Maryse impersonating Cena and Nikki, it's been amazing). This will be a classic "Good guys conquer bad guys" match Cena has been having forever, but for once he's (well, WWE) aren't burying young talent and can see Miz and Maryse coming out of this looking great. I expect Daniel Bryan will get involved in some way (returning the kicks Miz stole from him probably) and Cena proposes to Nikki after, with the rest of the show just being the two of them banging in the middle of the ring.

Predictions: It would be AMAZING if Miz and Maryse won, but it's not going to happen, so let's just enjoy this for what it is.

UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH (but oh so much more) Chris Jericho (c) vs Kevin Owens

This is a title match, but it is SO MUCH MORE. This has had almost a year build, as Jericho and Owens became best friends and literally carried post-split RAW for its first few months. Owens had to give up the big boy title for the big boy match for this, and everyone kinda forgot Jericho was a champion, so the title isn't really important, this is the culmination of the greatest betrayal since The Shield or Shawn Michaels put Marty Jannetty through the barber shop window. This has the potential to be MOTN as Jericho is still "the best at what he does, maaaaaaaan" and Owens is just a fantastic heel. Owens should win, however, for this story to really make sense (but this might carry over to RAW tomorrow)

Prediction: KOMania2

RAW Women's title match, 4-way Elimination match Bayley (c) vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

You'll notice (if you're still reading) both women's matches are basically just big smodges just to get everyone (except Dana Brooke, lol) involved. The Women stole the show last year, but I can't really see it happening this year. Since that incredible encounter, Charlotte and Sasha have fought forever, as have, to a lesser extent, Bayley and Nia Jax, and so here we are. Bayley's not had a great run as champion and kinda needs to go back to being the underdog. Sasha has been teasing a heel turn which very much could/should happen here, Nia Jax is big and that so if she doesn't win she's probably getting DQ'd? (If that's a thing, wrestling can never make up its mind about that) Or if not ganged up on. So I guess that leaves Charlotte to become a 5 time champion on her run to match (or beat) her father's record in the space of like 2 years through short reigns (I'm sure Flair had a few microscopic runs too during mid-90s WCW). The most intriguing thing about this match is that it is elimination, but otherwise, thoroughly un-hyped for this one, sadly.

Prediction: Sasha heel turn on Bayley, Nia gets screwed somehow, Charlotte wins.

MAIN EVENT MATCHES: Shane McMahon vs AJ Styles (because we had nothing better to do for our universally praised wrestler of the year than fight the boss's son)

Who the hell knows, we could have had Michaels vs Styles man. I respect Michaels decision not to come out of retirement, but man, we're left with THIS? I don't really know what to say, they're building this as a regular wrestling match, so in theory Styles should squash Shane O'Mac, but I guess he's gonna need to jump off something for some reason because it's him? I have faith in Styles to produce some magic with Shane (because, hell, if he can do it with Ellsworth then surely here) but man, they better be putting the title on Styles for a year after this to break CM Punk's record or something.

Predictions: Shane to jump off the rollercoaster set or the giant fake ring above the normal one (which looks really weird by the way), Styles obviously to win because otherwise, I might just give up.

"NON-SANCTIONED" MATCH Seth Rollins vs Triple H

When did Un-sanctioned become Non-sanctioned? Anyway, if you don't know what this means, basically its a "kayfabe" (storyline) way of saying this match "shouldn't be happening officially" and therefore these two can use all of WWE's facilities to beat the crap out of each other. Or something. This match pretty much depends on how healthy Rollins is (apparently he's had the flu all week, the guy really can't catch a break huh?) and he's returning from a knee injury (hence the non-sanctioned thing). If he's healthy and all is good, this could be a decent blow-off to a long, drawn out build in which Triple H screwed Seth out of the title back in August and then everyone forgot about it for a while. We will just have to see.

Prediction: Rollins, Triple H might be a heel but his actual real-life heel days are long past. That said, it being a non-sanctioned match, expect a lot of shenanigans from Samoa Joe (and/or maybe Finn?) given he'll be allowed to basically turn this into a handicap match.

IT'S MY YARD! NO, IT'S MINE! MATCH Roman Reigns (boo) vs The Undertaker

Holy S***, Roman Reigns got booed at the Hall of Fame induction. That is some seriously dumb, needy reactions from the fans but it is also a sign of things to come. It takes a lot for me to feel sorry for Reigns but that was insane. Anyway, this match is much more dependent on The Undertaker who isn't, in fact, a dead man and is indeed ageing quite rapidly at this point. He did not look good at the Rumble at all and he barely had to do anything against Shane last year, so who knows. Reigns, love him or hate him, is a reliable safe pair of hands in "big matches" and you know what, it actually makes much more sense for him to beat The Undertaker and go full heel (PLEASE WWE, we beg you). Triple H made an interesting comment the other day that "Well, Reigns basically is a heel to most of you anyway, so we can kinda book him how we like" so maybe not. Anyway, there's some chat that this should close the show, but I don't think so, personally, unless this really is Taker’s last dance. This might be alright, we'll have to see how long it takes Taker to get to the ring (gonna guess half an hour) but PLEASE guys if you are putting Reigns over tonight PLEASE do not get Taker to raise his hand in respect. You WILL get a full-scale riot on your hands (then again, maybe that's what they want).

Predictions: Reigns (sadly?). Apparently, J.R is calling this one too, fuelling the retirement rumours.

WWE UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH WILLIAM GOLDBERG (c) vs BORK LESNAR w/ Paul Heyman

*sigh* The main dispute over who closes the show is between the two title matches. I personally think it will be this but in the spirit of the rumble winner, we will stick to that format for now. This match could be good. It could be. It just depends on if Goldberg (who also got booed at the Hall of Fame, interestingly) can go longer than 5 minutes. This is the big epic culmination of the grand total of about 3 minutes of actual wrestling so far, as Goldberg squashed Lesnar at Survivor Series (which was a great moment in all honesty) and then eliminated him with relative ease at the Rumble. This is also a "WrestleMania XX apology match" after that utter car-crash of a match which ruined an otherwise solid, though controversial, purely because of Benoit, Mania. So basically, this match HAS to be at least 5-10 minutes. It doesn't need to be a big long "slobber knocker" but it does need to at least feel like a big bruising end to one of the company's biggest but most controversial storylines, given two part-timers are fighting over one of its main belts. I'm quietly confident that they will deliver something worthwhile, but I also wouldn't be surprised if it's an utter mess.

Prediction: Lesnar finally conquers Goldberg, although apparently the latter is booked for RAW tomorrow? Also, maybe, just maybe Finn Balor shows up (here or tomorrow).

WWE TITLE MATCH Bray Wyatt (c) vs. Randy Orton

This might be on before the two other matches, but as Randy Orton is this year's Royal Rumble winner, let's stick with “tradition” for the purposes of this write-up.

This storyline has been wild. It has also been a lot of fun and very self-referentially "Attitude Era Wrasslin’" so I must say I've enjoyed it a lot and if nothing else, Bray Wyatt has actually finally got to be the champion for a bit and looked pretty menacing doing it. There's still the Luke Harper issue to be resolved here (and perhaps a return for forgotten Wyatt family member Erick Rowan?) but this should be a pretty solid main event. Orton isn't amazing, we all know that, but he does have the ability to turn matches on their head in an instant (as does Wyatt, for that matter) and this storyline, crazy as it has been, has been great for both of them. Expect maybe some supernatural happenings too given the whole "NO, I HAVE THE SPIRIT OF SISTER ABIGAIL" dispute.

Prediction: Orton.

And so there we have it. Phew, this took as long to write as its probably going to be to watch it, but there we are. I hope this was worth writing down for someone anyway. Overall, this is an intriguing Mania which hasn't had the best build but, on the Raw side especially, that's kinda typical of where WWE is at right now. There are a lot of variables going into tonight, but there is a lot of potential too. We shall see. I just hope not to be too drunk/tired and end up missing the main event like last year (although to be fair, that was a total snoozefest).

Let me know your thoughts, feelings, predictions and Wrestlemania plans! Or tell me to shut up and I'll get a mod to merge this with the other wrestling thread. For now, I'm off for a walk while I still can.