#<- could count as a spoiler so just in case
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Unintended (pt1)



A/N: HELPPP guys I feel terrible after writing this😭 this was the hardest, most heartbreaking angst I've ever written.
Syn:unplanned pregnancy with Choso as your boyfriend but the trauma of his origins speaks for him...
TW: HEAVY ANGST!!, traumatized Choso, unplanned pregnancy, panic attacks, suggestiveness, mentions of abortion,dark topics and possible spoilers (about Choso's origins)
1.5k words | PT 2 COMING SOON
Your period was late. You had first noticed it two weeks ago on a seemingly ordinary morning, but today felt different. Today, you decided it was finally time to take the pregnancy test you had been anxiously holding onto. Choso had been away, along with Yuji, on a mission for a few days, and he was due to return today. As you stood by the bathroom sink, a single tear of joy slipped down your cheek, the test trembling slightly in your hands. The reality of it washed over you: you and Choso were going to be parents. Sweet images of the two of you raising a child together danced in your mind, filling your heart with warmth and anticipation as you gazed at the two small parallel lines that had appeared on the test.
A couple of hours later, you sat in your living room, wearing your favorite dress, counting the seconds until Choso walked through the door. The anticipation filled you with a mix of excitement and nerves; you could hardly wait to share the news. For Choso, the last two days had felt like an eternity. The longing to touch you, to kiss you, and to hold you close had been a kind of torture. Yet, as he opened the door to your shared apartment, he was met with an unexpected heaviness in the air. The familiar scent of home was tinged with something so foreign yet somehow familiar, a strange vibration that has been sending shivers down his spine whenever he approached you during the previous weeks. That same protective instinct he classified as the special way you always made him feel. Just now he understood how much of a fool he had been for underestimating it.
His sharp senses were now on high alert. Choso noticed immediately that you weren’t rushing towards him with your usual enthusiasm. Instead, you sat on the couch, a uniquely beautiful, radiant smile illuminating your features, but there was something in your eyes that made his heart skip a beat. He approached you cautiously, his brow furrowing in confusion as he took in the scene before him.
Your gaze locked with his for a brief moment before you lowered your eyes to the small blue box that lay on the table in front of you. Choso’s heart raced as he approached the box, reading the unfamiliar brand name—Clearblue—etched on its surface. The moment he recognized the potential significance of the object wrapped in a delicate white bow, a wave of unadulterated panic flooded his mind. “What does this mean?” he asked, his voice flat, devoid of emotion.
“It means I’m pregnant, Cho!” you exclaimed fiercely, your eyes sparkling with the joy of the moment. “You’re going to be a father!”
The word “father” echoed in his mind, a jarring sound that sent his thoughts spiraling into chaos. What did it even mean to be a father? Choso had no idea about what that word ultimately meant. Was a father merely the individual who biologically contributed to the creation of a child, or was he the one who bore the weight of responsibility for that child’s life? In any case, he never knew what that meant. The foreign concept of parenthood unsettled him to the core, stirring an urge to flee from the situation entirely. He wasn’t ready for this, and the thought of becoming a father and possibly continuing the path of despair created by his own ‘creator’ filled him with dread.
Your face fell at the sight of his serious, unwavering expression. “Oh my god… this cannot be true…You—you don’t want this, right?” The realization that everything you had hoped for could crumble before your eyes shattered your heart. You had believed, with every fiber of your being, that your relationship was stronger than any obstacle, but now, standing before him, you felt the ground beneath you give way.
“H-How could this happen?” Choso’s voice was barely above a whisper, laden with confusion and disbelief. He couldn’t meet your gaze, unable to bear the sight of the pain etched across your features. His mind raced, grappling with the bizarre reality that his half-cursed cells could actually have made someone pregnant. The thought was as surreal as it was terrifying.
You scoffed bitterly, your voice laced with sarcasm. “How could this happen? For real, Choso? I’ll tell you how it did happen: you must have gotten me pregnant on one of those early mornings when you woke up and held me tightly against your chest in bed making love to me for hours, because ‘I was too soft to resist’; or maybe it was that night we went stargazing on the rooftop. Do you remember how you pushed me back down on you and finished deep inside me because you ‘needed to feel me for a little longer’? About how we slept -totally unbothered- the whole night still tangled up like that?” Your words dripped with disdain, each one a reminder of the intimacy you had shared. “You didn’t think about the consequences back then, did you? You know what hurts the most now: you did all of this while claiming you loved me all along…but how can you love someone and dread the idea of creating a future with them at the same time? You said you wanted to be with me forever...”
Choso collapsed on the sofa, frozen, his mind scrambling to process your words. “But you said… you said you were taking precautions…and…” His voice was weak, barely a whisper. The weight of the situation pressed down on him, causing his lungs to burn with anxiety.
Your humorless laugh filled the space between you, thick with despair. “Well, breaking news, Choso: precautions aren’t infallible… especially when you spend half the day nutting inside your girlfriend…”you yell to his face “Did you ever even consider that something like this could happen Choso?” You began to pace the room, your heart racing as tears of frustration threatened to spill. This definitely wasn’t how you had envisioned sharing the news of your pregnancy. You had known Choso lacked any form of experience when it came to relationships, but his shock over something so obvious still drove you mad.
Choso was lost in a fog of disbelief, unable to comprehend the gravity of the situation. He remained seated, wiping his sweaty palms nervously against his thighs, eyes fixed on a distant point as a whirlwind of thoughts spun through his mind. The most terrifying of scenarios played out before him: the pictures of your smiling face and his mother's ones blurred in his brain and he imagined your fragile human body, corrupted by a life that should not exist, a parasite slowly draining you of your vitality. A parasite like the one he once was. No. He couldn’t lose you like that; he couldn’t bear the thought of you suffering as his mother had. Panic crept in, grasping at his throat and squeezing tighter.
“Okay…” he whispered roughly in between short, ragged breaths “we’ll get rid of ...it… and start again… just you and me…” The words desperately slipped from his lips before he could even figure them out, sharper than any blade.
Silence hung heavy in the air as your heart shattered at his implied suggestion. Something undeniably broke the moment those cursed words cut through the air around you. Tears started to copiously stream down your face, and you could hardly believe what you had just heard. Deep down, you knew that Choso’s trauma was speaking for him, but the pain of his words cut deeper than anything else.
“Y-You didn’t say that… You couldn't…I refuse to believe it, Choso…” you tried to deny it, your feet unconsciously stumbled back, your whole body recoiling as horror washed over you. Your shoulders slumped in defeat, hands raised defensively, trembling lips and puffy eyes betraying the turmoil within. Choso realized he had crossed a line just by taking a look at your shocked appearance, that he had just dug a deeper wound. What the fuck did he just say? He had fucked up and he didn't even know how to take it back.
“I didn’t mean… I—” He longed to reach out, to pull you into his arms and assure you that he hadn’t meant a word of what he said, but the words were stuck in his throat, the weight of his own thoughts holding him captive. “I cannot do this right now… I am sorry.” his child, his offspring…how could he have thought such a terrible thing?
With his hands tangled in his hair, Choso stood up abruptly and stormed out the door before you could stop him, leaving you in a whirlpool of confusion and heartbreak. He needed to run, faster than his fears, faster than the image of the disgust on your face, faster than the horrible scenario his mind conjured up.
You fell to your knees on the cold floor, sobbing as despair enveloped you. Your arms wrapped protectively around your stomach, you whispered promises to the life growing inside you. “I’ll protect you forever, even if it will be just the two of us.” Tears soaked your dress as you vowed eternal love to the child that had formed from the tender moments you had shared with Choso, while also grappling with the painful realization that this might be the last stop for your relationship….
Thanks for reading this far! Reblogs, comments and interactions are appreciated 💞
© Dreamingkitsunewrites. Don't copy or translate or my works without permission.
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk angst#jjk smut#jjk x reader#choso kamo#choso#choso my beloved#jjk choso#choso jjk#choso x reader#choso x y/n#choso x you#~selfship✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆#choso smut#choso angst#choso kamo x reader#choso kamo x you#jujutsu choso#choso fluff#jjk scenario#jjk scenarios#choso kamo x female reader#jujutsu kaisen choso#tw pregnancy#tw: abortion#tw: angst#choso kamo angst#choso kamo smut#choso kamo fluff
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Bathe Me With Your Love
Summary: After Matt had a rough week, you try to help him feel better.
Pairing: Matt Murdock × f!reader
Word Count: 1.2k
Warnings: Sad Matt™, spoilers for Born Again (beginning of ep 1), and non-sexual nudity
A/N: I've been wanting to write for Matt for yearrrrsss. So, I finally did it! (all in one sitting djkalsjakl) This is my first time writing Matt, so I apologize for any mischaracterizations! Enjoy!
Main Masterlist
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You knew it had been a rough week for Matt. It was evident in the way he had been holding himself recently. His polite smile would slip when he thought no one was looking, he’d zone out longer than usual, and his grip tightened around his cane whenever the smallest thing irritated him.
Sometime after Foggy, he had started being more vocal about what went on inside his head with you, but every now and then, he’d fall back into his old routine. Old habits did die hard after all, especially when he forbade himself from letting the devil out. For now.
It didn’t bother you though, like it used to anyway. You knew he was trying. He just needed some time to figure it out himself, then he’d come to you. With Matt, patience was key.
For the last couple nights, he had been spending more time at the firm, burying himself in casefiles and a few glasses of whiskey. Kirsten was even starting to get concerned, but you reassured her that this was part of his process.
That and with the way he had been quiet this morning warned you that his meticulously built dam was about to break. So, when you got off work that evening, you cleaned the apartment, filling it with just the faintest scent of lavender so its soothing smell wouldn’t overwhelm Matt. You also washed the sheets so their texture wouldn’t overstimulate him tonight when you went to bed. To top it off, you even prepared his favorite meal, though you were ready to heat it up in case this was another late night for him.
After putting on some jazz record, you decided to hop into the shower. Matt always did love the smell of your bodywash. Besides, a hot shower sounded heavenly after all your deep cleaning.
You had just started rinsing everything off when you heard the bathroom door slowly open and shut. Halting in your movements, your heartbeat picked up slightly. “Matt?”
“It’s just me,” Matt called out. You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding, earning a soft chuckle out of him.
“You nearly gave me a heart attack,” you joked, though your nearly shot nerves told you otherwise. Matt didn’t say anything else, but you could hear his movement on the other side of the curtain. “Do you need something?”
“No.” Matt pulled back the curtain, stepping into the shower with you. “Just you.”
With a small smile, you pulled him closer to you, kissing his cheek softly. He offered a tired smile back, his hands ghosting over your hips, as if he was scared to touch you. The weight that he carried on his shoulders was pulling him down, you knew, and it was starting to get harder for him to bare it. You just wished he’d give some of it to you.
“Here,” you whispered as you reached for his shampoo. You squeezed a good amount into your palm before massaging it into his scalp. Matt hummed in contentment, closing his eyes as you worked your fingers through his hair.
You continued for a few minutes, relishing in his pleased sounds. “Turn.” You gently pushed him to swap places with you so he could stand under the showerhead, his hands holding your hips more prominently now. Your fingers found their way to his hair again, careful to keep the shampoo from getting into his eyes.
Afterwards, you did the same routine with his conditioner. Before you washed it out, you grabbed Matt’s loofa, squirting some of his bodywash onto it before you slowly ran it over his body. His thumbs rubbed soothing circles into your hips as you did so, stabilizing himself into this soft moment.
Urging him once again, Matt swapped with you as you lightly kissed the scars that ran across his collarbones. It was weird to think about how much time had passed since he got them.
As you washed out the conditioner from his hair, Matt pulled you in closer to him, hiding his face in your neck. A shuddering breath escaped his lips when you wrapped your arms around him, making him hold you even tighter.
For a while, the two of you remained silent as the water ran down your backs, washing away the hardships of the day down into the drain with it. You cradled the back of Matt’s head, lightly kissing his ear whenever you felt his grip tighten. If a few of his tears hid amongst the water droplets running down your chest, you didn’t say a word.
“I think we’re running up the water bill,” you teased lightly.
“I’ll pay it,” Matt murmured into your neck, making you laugh. You could stay in here with him for the rest of your life. But... the water was starting to get cold.
Albeit reluctantly, you pulled away from him, much to his despise. “Come on.” You reached behind him, turning the water off.
Stepping out of the shower, you grabbed a towel for both of you, handing his to him when he stepped out behind you. As you dried off, you noticed that Matt made no move to do the same. He just stood there, staring in your direction. “You okay, Matt?”
The corner of his mouth twitched up slightly as he nodded. “Yeah, I just...” You waited for him to continue, wrapping your towel loosely around you. “Thank you.”
You smiled as you walked over, kissing his lips softly, causing him to melt into you once again. Pulling away, you placed your forehead against his. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Matt swallowed hard, but he nodded, nonetheless. “After dinner?” You asked, to which he nodded again. “Okay.” You kissed him one more time before leaving him to get dress.
Together you ate the meal you had prepared as the coziness of your home took over you. Even you had to admit that you did a pretty good job for someone that lacked heightened senses. Matt shared with you some updates on the cases him and Kirsten had been working on, and you told him about what had went on in your day as well.
After the two of you washed the dishes together, you led Matt’s tired—yet refreshed—form into your bedroom. You noticed his small smile when he realized you had cleaned the sheets, failing to hide it as he pulled his shirt over his head.
You let him get settled in first as you finished buttoning up one of his shirts to sleep in. When you finally laid down, Matt immediately molded into you, once again burying his face into the back of your neck as his arm wrapped around your stomach securely.
A comfortable silence washed over both of you, the only sound coming from the city outside. It nearly startled you when Matt finally spoke up.
“I miss him.”
A knot formed in your throat at his words, but you quickly willed it away. “Me too.” You grabbed his hand, squeezing it comfortingly. It was the most Matt had said about Foggy in months. You knew how much he desperately missed him; how much he blamed himself.
Slowly, Matt turned you around so you could face him. He reached up to cup your face, rubbing his thumb across your cheek. “I love you.”
You turned your face to kiss his palm before settling down against his chest. “I love you, too.”
Oh, how much you loved each other.
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#marvel#daredevil#daredevil born again#matt murdock#matt murdock × reader#daredevil × reader#matt murdock fic#daredevil fic#kay writes
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this might have been done before but. woe cupcake be upon ye
#my art#fnaf movie#chica#chica chicken#mr cupcake#carl the cupcake#fnaf movie spoilers#fnaf movie spoiler#<- could count as a spoiler so just in case#fnaf fanart#fnaf fan art#five nights at freddy's#five night's at freddy's movie#fnaf movie 2023
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of where [ ] [ ] used to be
#Library of Ruina#Roland Library of Ruina#... would this count as spoilers. it is rather vauge. uhm. just in case?#library of ruina spoilers#i couldnt find adequate words to fully capture the ache and sheer void loss leaves behind. of what isnt There. thats short at least#so... i left i blank? because the mind would fill it. fill it with Multiple things than just one word i could place. for it is Multiple#aspects. stripped away.#of where my light used to be. my love. my heart. my 'self'. my Life. my dreams. my hopes. my dear. my everything#her warmth. her touch. her laugh. her strength. her face#void of where ones heart used to be. whos heart is cold as ice (haha snow queen). tomorrows seen as gone the moment that light was stripped#away from the heart. the Home. the room that used to be a home. the room that was going to be a home. scattered with small yellows in the#corner that only serve to spiral further into memories and moments of the past cruely and coldly torn awah#ahh glad i put the spoiler tag? yappin. anyways ive only completed realizations for middle but. uhm. erm...#iireally realt wanted to draw. for it#roland lor#i think thats the other tag. just in case for more navigation#i fet distinctly Empty when it happened. when reading. when seeing. when Hearing. i wanted to make something that sorta had that#also his mask looked like a void. left an impression on me
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Replaying p4 rn and why is Adachi genuinely so funny. Dojima saying obvious shit like “the killer is somewhere in inaba” and Adachi responding with “ooo is that your detectives intuition at work 😁” like I just KNOW he was inwardly laughing his ass off 💀💀 Dojima and Adachi’s dynamic as a whole is looked over sm I feel like bc I rarely see ppl talk about them as a duo.
#Dojima and Adachi carried the game and I stand by that#actually they all carried the game bc the entire cast is spectacular but you get my point#everytime Adachi comes on screen I get excited bc he’s just so effortlessly funny#except near the end where he starts saying things that are less funny and more like woah oh my god what is wrong with you!!#but my point remains!#also. I know that in all technicality it’s not necessarily *obvious* that the killer was still in inaba#bc yes technically the killer could be literally anywhere#but idk I just found it funny#does this count as spoilers??#p4 spoilers#just in case!!#persona 4#tohru adachi#ryotaro dojima
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god you know this whole show has been building up to the trial. in episode 6 we briefly see Claudia and Madeleine being happy and then the trial starts and you can't help but think 'Claudia had barely left the nest, she deserved to have more time'. but of course that's the tragedy. the parent burying the child, a perversion of natural order. Claudia was inspired (at least in part) by Anne Rice's daughter who died at 5 from leukemia. there is no version of this story where Claudia lives.
#interview with the vampire#this is not deep analysis i'm just very sad.#claudia's been dead from the start. from the moment louis started telling his story#and it's so unfair and tragic but of course it is. every child death is.#altho it's interesting to me that anne rice wrote a story abt a little girl who didn't actually die. she got turned into a vampire!#she could be alive forever! it could be the perfect escapist story to deal with your real daughter's death#but instead even this immortal powerful vampire has to die. there is no version of this story in which she lives.#i'm not saying it's a bad way to cope or anything i just think it's interesting from like the psychological point of view#a little bit of armchair psychoanalysis as a treat#btw does this count as book spoilers?? i think the show has been pretty clear that claudia doesn't make it to modern day#but idk if they've ever explicitly said she's dead?#so i guess i'll tag it just in case#book spoilers#s2#2x06#iwtv spoilers
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Is Bad Touch seriously turning into The Fandom's version of DESTIEL.
#isat spoilers#Just in case? I don't think so#but really#just about anything I could say related to This probably counts
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anytime there's production trivia for something i've actually seen like "& the director didn't tell any of the actors this was going to happen so as to get Not Acted Surprise, from the Actors" it's like that's so funny the way i didn't ever see that part as like wow that seemed so particularly genuine to me compared to other parts of this work or other works in general. but on the other hand there'll be scenes in something where a surprising event occurs around multiple characters and there'll be trivia like "wow the way nobody (else) knew this was going to happen beforehand, in so impactful a scene, that makes sense" and then someone involved will be like that's not true
#different to Beforehand be like okay yeah so there will be an element of surprise within these parameters#like how it's different getting jumpscares in media you can at all expect them & indeed jumping; scared#vs in any format where it is a fully unexpected complete disruption of the Established Conventions / Expectations#like that one's just attacking someone but like it doesn't count anytime you do anything to people if there's no Physical Contact Violence#like spoilers it's just abt consent. even for whatever little things like well actors aren't ppl you try to prank ''real'' reactions out of#or yknow ask that to be Their strategy like well just make the feelings & behaviors Not Acting. in which case everyone will have a bad time#or even when stuff Is supposedly not entirely acting. like unscripted reality things where like behind the scenes is supposed to work#Against whomever is in front of them to like corral them into Situations that they react to as Real. ramp it up until They ramp up &c#watched a movie that was enjoyable enough the other day & good for what it was even supposed to be doing#(which other things deemed more ''objectively'' good do too but w/whatever other elements that make it Worthwhile Art by Contrast)#(stuff that's like so yeah this could be a soap opera / technique of shows/movies considered more ''fluff'' & ''unserious'' but b/c like#the subjects styles characters plotlines &c aren't associated w/things the Fluffy Feelgood Unserious Art is; this is great though#or At Least decided to be ''self aware'' with it & thus using it Savvily vs the Unaware works using it b/c they don't know any better)#anyway & i was like now some acting performances do not feel like ah so Raw Real Genuine lol but yknow. they didn't need to#sure might not be the case in a different work doing different things but in This case it was like i'm getting what i need to get from it#meanwhile even in Any works like on the one hand ethically shouldn't be trying to get ''real'' ''unacted'' shit from Actors / Performers#on the other; firmly secondary hand; that the indeed Pranked(tm) reactions vs acted ones are effectively indistinguishable anyway also#even like mild Good(tm) surprises like; yknow; context needed. does the person know they're getting one. do they like Any surprises#do they have the ability to really trust your intentions re: A Good Surprise as well as you understanding what you'd consider That. & so on
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im re reasing all te h pjo books hoo and toa too im in teh middle of the lost hero and i read these books years ago ok i forgot half the things i didnt know quintus was daedulas or that they met haphaestus in teh book or that tyson and grover went on their own little quest together adn its slowly coming back and i just rmemebered. zeus had two kids with teh same woman in his greek and roman forms. i. i also haven't read son of neptune when i was reading the series for teh first time i decided to skip it because tower of nero was supposed to come out pretty soon and i had to coemplere hoo + toa in time to get to read tower of nero as it was released and i ended up finishing 3 hoo books and 4 toa ones before the release date anyway. in like. a month i inhaled those books and i am now i had gforgotten how much i liked them yes i'll admit it isnt the best tsorytelling but it gives me nostaligia the goo dkind and im just so. overwhelmed i lvoe these books if not for the storytelling for being the only thign getting me through being 11-14 i rememnr i used to curl up adn read them all day and then i wen tot pinrteret adn thus wwent on to become a pinterest tumblrina and then acn actual tumblrina wow
#i rememner hp thg and pjo being caimed as the big three fandoms form what i saw on pinteerts atkeast#thne there was divergent and the maze runner anad twilight??#i remmeber reading thg when i was 11#ooh the first book series i ever read was case file 13 and i havent yet met anyoe n who has read or even knows those books#if you guys know there used to be an app called anybooks there were all book on there. for free.#it was sucha good app hoenstly you could download books within seconds and no additional reader requierd too it was a self sufficient app#with every csutomizations too i remmeber discovering it while just scrollign through playstore#best decision i made in my life tbh that made me a reader fast forward a couple months later#id read 59 out of 62 books from goosebums series + their spinoffs there were too many to keep count#i also read fear street ones theough i think i wasnt supposed too i think#anyway i was fine readign then it blew up and got put behind a paywall i gto my dad to pay for it then a few months later it got sued#understandlby so because ti had ALL books and had to shut down. i will neevr forget people for it.#my dad had paid for it on his phone as well 900 in total but he was fine becausei had been using that app for so long#i read hp + cursed child (awful. i cant emphazize enough it wa awful) thg divergent tfios the case file 13 books#ough im thinking im goign to cry why ant i be little again#pjo spoilers#?
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#rote#realm of the elderlings#strictly speaking fitz does not sleep in amber's cabin most nights but they spend so much time there that it counts#also i could only put in 10 options so im sorry if i missed anyone's favourite :(#anyway. ive been thinking a lot about the locations in this series#theres something really cozy and homey about them#fitz and the fool trilogy#fitz and the fool spoilers#rote spoilers#spoiler tagging just in case bc of the last two
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Yuutsum 3
SUMMARY: What if you also have a Tsum? Then your Tsum and the Tsum of the person you like keep giving signs that they like each other?
CHARACTERS: Twisted Tsumderland 3 Tsumsitters (Ace; Trey; Ruggie; Jamil; Vil; Idia; Malleus; Silver)
TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader
WARNING: Spoilers for the Twisted Tsumderland 3 Event and the Tsumsitter cards Vignettes.
WORD COUNT: An average of 810 words per character.
COMMENTS: This was originally a request from @taruruchi for my 1k celebration. Which you can read here. And since so many readers liked it, I decided to do what I normally do when this happens: Do this for ALL the characters! Grouped by event in this case.
The request also includes Jamil's and Silver's tsums, but I wrote them before part 3 was even announced on the JP server. In other words, I had to pretty much guess what their tsums would be like, but now I could write them more accurately.
And I ended up get carried away writing Vil's and Idia's parts. 😅
I hope you enjoy 😉
Yuutsum 1 (Riddle; Cater; Leona; Jack; Floyd; Epel; Sebek)
Yuutsum 2 (Deuce; Azul; Jade; Kalim; Rook; Ortho; Lilia)
CONTEXT: Like the original Twisted Tsumderland 3 event, this takes place after the events of the first and second Twisted Tsumderland. And, surprise, your Tsum is back! But it’s the only one, all the other Tsums that came with it are completely new visitors.
Just like the other times, your Tsum seemed restless and wanted to leave Ramshackle Dorm, probably to go look for the other tsums. You decide to take a walk around the school building first and you notice a gathering in the cafeteria.
“If you give it devoted, loving care, I'm sure it'd be willing to show its gratitude!” You hear Ace's voice say from behind a wall of other students.
You come closer, with your tsum in your arms.
“So... Who wants to look after the tsum?!”
“I'll do it!” a Scarabia student offers.
“What are you talking about?” A Pomefiore student counterposes. “That's gonna be me!”
And an argue begins. You stand on your tiptoes and crane your neck to look over some students' shoulders and see an Ace-tsum on the table.
“Okay, easy, guys. You can all take turns trying your hand at looking after it.” Ace interrupts. “If things go well, you might get to see more tricks. And hey, if they don't do any, you can just return it tonight.”
Even though you know this is about Ace and his tsum, you can't help but feel a little sorry for the things Ace is saying. It's like he just wants to get rid of his tsum. Poor little guy. And your tsum agrees.
“I can take care of it!” Your voice rings out, Ace and Deuce recognizing it immediately.
The students in front of you turn and see that you have another tsum in your arms. They make way for you while commenting on how cute it is.
“(Y/N)?!” Ace and Deuce say in unison.
You lean over to look at Ace-tsum who is looking at you with bright, surprised eyes. You say you can take care of it since Ace doesn't want to. Your tsum jumps from your arms to Ace-tsum's side. You add that you have your tsum to help you supervise it and that you already have some experience with an Ace. He blushes a little.
“Wait (Y/N)!” Deuce says.“This is supposed to be Ace and my task. And you already have your tsum to take care of.”
“Don't worry, Deuce. We both can take care of it. Right, Tsum?” Your Tsum agrees and rubs its cheek against Ace-Tsum's cheek. “Better us than someone who treats it like a burden.” But Ace-tsum moves away from your tsum and Ace grabs your arm to pull you with him to talk to you alone.
“You dummy!” He tells you in a lower voice. “Listen, I'm not just trying to get rid of my tsum, okay?! I'm trying to find someone who adores it so much that they would love to fawn over it and take care of it. This will be better than being with someone who is only taking care of it out of obligation.”
You ask, then, why can't you take care of his tsum.
“Because I was trying to get some idiot to do it, not you!”
Then you hear and see that more students have joined the group that fawns over Ace-tsum. And it seemed like they were finding something cute?
You two go back to the table and see your tsums having fun with each other. Ace-tsum was showing magic tricks to your Tsum and seemed happier with your Tsum's surprised reaction than with the students' applause. Your tsum approached Ace-tsum and began to rub their cheeks against each other, like cuddling. Ace blushed again.
“Fine...” Ace gives up. “It seems like it wants to be with your tsum anyway.”
“Why don't we all take care of the tsums together again?” Deuce suggests, “Like we did when mine was here.”
You and your tsum agree.
“Yeah, I guess we can do that.” Ace says, then smirks. “At least now I can split the work between three.”
Surprisingly, Ace's Tsum is much calmer when it's around your Tsum. In addition to being extremely affectionate with your Tsum, it also seems to really enjoy impressing it with magic tricks and things like that. As if it loved having your tsum's attention and affection back, completely ignoring Ace's embarrassment.
Your tsum wanted to go somewhere, so you pick it up and let it guide you out of Ramshackle Dorm. You pass the Botanical Garden and the Alchemy Workshop and arrive at the Hall of Mirrors. Your tsum wants you to cross the mirror to Heartslabyul.
You do so, enter the building and you end up crossing paths with Trey in the hallway. He was carrying a cake container. You feel your tsum move slightly in your arms when it sees him.
“Hello (Y/N).” Trey greets you. “I see your tsum is back.” He smiles at it and you feel it move again. “This time one similar to me showed up too, so I'm also tsumsitting. I assume you're here to see it.” He chuckles seeing you and your tsum nodding. “It is in the lounge. But before that.” He opens the cake container revealing a beautiful cake with icing and grapes decorating it, and some slices already missing. “Do you want to try a slice? Tsum decorated it.”
If you like grapes, he will be happy to see you eating a slice. If you don't like them and are sad because you would like to try the cake, He will suggest that you go to the kitchen and take out just one piece that doesn't have grapes for you to taste.
“Here.” He says taking just a forkful of the icing cake. “This one doesn't have grapes.” He holds out the fork with the piece of cake in your direction.
You can take the fork and eat it yourself or you can eat it while he holds the fork. If you do this last one, he will laugh and then smirk slightly. Independently of what you do, you'll feel your tsum moving in your arms again, but not enthusiastically.
Trey asks if everything is okay with your tsum and you answer that it might be sad because it can't taste the cake, after all tsum don't eat.
“Oh, don't worry.” He says to your tsum with a sweet smile. “You liking the way it looks is good enough already.”
Your tsum makes that happy tsum sound and suddenly jumps out of your arms towards Trey who catches it and you see it nestling in his arms.
“Ha ha ha. Your tsum is more cheeky than mine. No, that's not a bad thing. I find it quite cute actually.”
If you are more outgoing, your tsum will make that happy sound again and smile at him with its eyes. If you are shy, your tsum will shrink a little and hide its face in his arms.
He will, happily, carry your Tsum in his arms to the lounge where his Tsum and other students are, but when the three of you get there...
“Is everyone done? I'll get the dishes - uh...” Trey and you see what appears to be his tsum attacking students with a toothbrush. “What’s going on here?”
Cater explains the whole madness with Tsum wanting everyone to brush their teeth. Trey ends up taking his Tsum's side and the students run to brush their teeth. Cater tries to apologize by saying that it took him longer to eat and even tries to say that he wanted to spend some time with your tsum. But it's no use, both Treys look at him with a menacing smile.
“Ah, I'm sorry! I swear I'll brush therm! Don't come near me with that smile on your face!” And he leaves the lounge as well.
Only Riddle, you, Trey and your two tsums remain. Trey-tsum points his toothbrush at you with that smile.
“Let's give (Y/N) a pass this time.” Trey defends you. “They are from another dorm so their toothbrush and toothpaste are not here.”
Trey-tsum lowers the toothbrush in agreement. Your Tsum jumps out of Trey's arms and lands next to his Tsum. They both make a happy sound and the two begin to rub their cheeks against each other as if cuddling.
“Your tsum is very affectionate, isn't it?” Trey comments with a smile.
Trey-tsum jumps onto your shoulder, presses its face against your cheek as if it were giving you a kiss, and jumps back to your tsum’s side. Then the two jump onto one of the sofas and snuggle up together as if they were nesting.
“How cute.” Riddle comments with a slightly mocking smile seeing Trey blush.
You were taking a walk around the school campus with your tsum in your arms when you heard Jack's voice calling you.
“Hey (Y/N), glad I found you.” Jack says. You turn around and he sees your Tsum in your arms who greets him smiling with its eyes. “Your tsum is back? So you should already know that other tsums have appeared too.”
You say you had already assumed that and ask if he was looking for you.
“More or less. The truth is that I was looking for someone who could help Ruggie with his tsum.”
You feel your tsum move in your arms when it hears Ruggie's name. Jack tells you that everything seemed to be going well between them until they started arguing, or rather fighting over the money they earned. Your tsum has the same reaction as you, probably an unsurprised sigh.
You agree to help and go with Jack to Savanaclaw. You find Ruggie and his tsum in the lounge fighting with each other. Riggie has an envelope in his outstretched hand trying to get it away from the tsum, while the tsum jumps at Ruggie to try to get to the envelope while hitting him.
Your tsum jumps out of your arms and sneaks up on them while they are focused on fighting each other. When it is close enough, it prepares itself and as soon as it sees an opening, it jumps and takes the envelope from Ruggie's hands. Then it runs to you with the envelope where its mouth would be and jumps back into your arms, handing you the envelope.
Ruggie looked at your tsum and you with the most threatening look you've ever seen on him, until he realized it was you and his expression changed drastically and his ears went down. His Tsum's reaction was the same. He even stutters your name in surprise.
“And h-hey, your tsum is back!” He tries to divert the conversation and ease the situation.
You don't fall for that and ask why they were fighting over the money. Ruggie explained to you that he still tried to give 20% to his Tsum since it doesn't need money to eat or things like that and that's why it seemed fair to him. But his tsum didn't like the idea and was trying to keep most of the money.
You ask your own tsum if that money is the same as in the tsum world, basically asking if it would be of any use to Ruggie-tsum, and your tsum shakes its head no.
“See?! It's not even any use to you. And I would be generous enough to give you twenty percent.”
Ruggie's tsum turns against him again, your tsum jumps out of your arms and throws itself at Ruggie-stum, hitting it. But it doesn't hit your tsum to retaliate, instead it tucks its tail between its legs and lowers its ears while your tsum seems to scold it.
Ruggie laughs at that situation and approaches you asking, also with his ears down and his tail between his legs, if you could give him back the envelope. But you reveal that, knowing him, you knew that he was not taking care of the tsum, but rather taking advantage of it to earn more money with its work.
“Hey, The tsum was the one who wanted to work for m- I mean with me. We earned that money by working together by choice.”
“So why not split it fifty-fifty?” You suggest.
“WHAT?! Are you cra-”
“If one of you worked as hard as the other then you deserve the same amount, don't you?”
He tries to bargain by reiterating that Tsums don't need to eat, but you continue the discussion saying that if it's not like that they won't stop fighting and it will never be resolved. If Ruggie keeps rejecting ot, your tsum will throw itself at his head to hit him. And then he will finally give in and split the money 50-50.
After that your tsum will convince Ruggie-tsum to just rest with it, trying to push it onto one of the lounge chairs. But instead Ruggie-tsum seemed to want to play with your tsum and the two of them started play fighting like two cubs. Which ends up looking more like they are hugging and cuddling.
Ruggie comments that despite what happened they seem to really like each other. After playing with each other for a while, Ruggie-tsum will come over to you to see if it can get some petting from you for being so cute. And if so, it'll turn over on its back so you can give it belly rubs. Ruggie will tell you that you're spoiling his tsum while trying not to show that he's jealous.
You find out that a Tsum similar to Jamil has appeared and is with him in Scarabia by crossing paths with Kalim while you were taking a walk with your Tsum around the school campus. Needless to say, Kalim was super happy to see your tsum again.
On the way to Scarabia you could feel the enthusiasm of your tsum. When you arrive, Jamil and his tsum are in the lounge playing a card game.
The two Jamils realize that someone has entered the lounge. They look at whoever has entered just to greet them, but as soon as they see that it is you, they both smile.
“Hello (Y/N). I see your tsum is back.”
Your tsum jumps from your arms and approaches Jamil's tsum. When it gets close enough, they brush each other's cheeks. Jamil blushes and pulls his hood a little tighter.
They will finish the game they were playing and then invite you and your tsum to play with them. You will play against your tsum, Jamil will teach you and his tsum will teach your tsum while you both play. Jamil will try to make you win, while Jamil-tsum is trying to make your tsum win. And perhaps for this reason, he teaches you by whispering in your ear so that the tsums don't hear your plays. Even if you don't win, Jamil will say that you played well and will be happy that you understood how to play.
You play two or three more times. Whenever you or your tsum win, it's because Jamil and his tsum agreed to lose to see you both happy. But in the last round Jamil-tsum climbs onto your lap while your tsum goes onto Jamil's lap. Thus forming pairs for the last round.
While Jamil-tsum helps you with the best moves, Jamil asks your tsum for its opinion with a cute smile. They both know that your tsum can't help him win, but he enjoys interacting with it in the same way he enjoys interacting with you.
The two teams end up tied. There is a good chance that the bouth Jamils planned this result.
You were going to get up so Jamil could prepare something for the two of you to have a snack, when you heard something. The sound of an insect coming in and cetting closer to you. Jamil jumps and runs to the door leaving your tsum behind while his tsum uses you to hide. You feel it trembling against you. The insect lands on one of your cards and you see that it is a... little ladybug.
If your reaction is something like, ‘Aww, a cute ladybug.’ Jamil will complain, outraged.
You ask Jamil to bring you some jar with a lid with holes and leaves inside. When he asks you what for, you say that you're going to put the ladybug inside and release it in Ramshackle Dorm's garden. He thinks you're crazy but that's okay as long as you lock that thing up and take it away. He brings you an empty spice jar with two leaves inside. You ask if they are poisonous plants, he sighs and says no. You smell the leaves and they seem normal.
The ladybug was on your finger, you open the jar to put it inside but it flies back towards Jamil who screams and runs away again. When the ladybug returns, it goes after Jamil-tsum, who also starts to run away through the lounge. The ladybug finally lands on your tsum's head and the two of you put the insect in the jar and close it. You tell Jamil it's done.
When he comes back, you try your best to contain your laughter as you remember him running away from a ladybug, but he notices your little smile and looks at you sullenly, despite thanking you.
Something similar seems to happen with the tsums, but your tsum dosen't contain its laughter and Jamil-tsum attacks it with what appears to be tickles. After your tsum surrenders the two seem to start cuddling each other.
Jamil is embarrassed by this and pulls his hood even further to hide his blushing face.
You were walking around the school campus with your tsum in your arms when you arrived at the Courtyard. A group of Pomefiore students focused on photographing something separated you from Vil and Rook on the other side. You and your tsum noticed that they were photographing Vil's tsum, and it seemed to be enjoying the photoshoot itself.
Your tsum jumps from your arms to the ground and tries to pass between the feet of some students to get closer to Vil-tsum. But those students notice something moving near them and look down at your tsum.
“Aw, it's another tsum.” One of the students says.
“Yeah, but this one doesn't look like anything special.” Another student comments.
“In fact, it looks so ordinary.” A third student agrees. “Could you please not interfere with Vil's Tsum photos?”
Your tsum still tried to advance a little further, but the students stopped it by putting their feet in its way. And even if you were complaining, they didn't care, they were in the middle of a photo shoot, the staff and spectators shouldn't interfere.
“Listen, if your tsum was half as beautiful as Vil's tsum we might still consider it, but I don't believe his tsum would even want to be seen with yours.”
With this, your tsum becomes too sad to keep trying and returns depressed to you. It doesn't even jump into your arms, you have to bend down and pick it up.
Meanwhile, the photo shoot stops abruptly and you hear some students say: “What's wrong?”, “Why do you want to stop suddenly?”, “Did we do something wrong?”, “Have we crossed boundaries?”
You see the students in front of you make way for Vil's tsum. When it sees you, its eyes shine, but when it sees your tsum, sad and curled up in your arms it gets upset and turns aggressively towards the students.
They realize that the tsum is upset with them for insulting your tsum, but it doesn't know which one was and they start saying it was the other one.
“You're the one who said it didn't look like anything special!”
“’In fact, it looks so ordinary.’ that's what YOU said”
“And who said their tsum wasn't even half as beautiful as Vil's tsum?”
“At least have the decency to admit your rudeness.” Vil appears, also unpleased, and with Rook beside him. “None of you have the right to decide who can or cannot approach the tsum. It is the one who decides who deserves such a privilege.”
“What a disappointment to have dormmates with such little tolerance for other unique types of beauty.” Rook says sadly. “And so insensitive too. ‘I don't believe his tsum would even want to be seen with yours.’ Which of you has the courage to claim such a phrase?” Rook looks at the three main suspects with an amused smile but a menacing look.
Both Vil and his tsum got angry upon hearing this.
“It was him!” The other two pointed to the culprit.
“It is also quite ugly to denounce someone so shamelessly.” Vil rebuked them and clapped his hands decisively twice. “The photo shoot is over. Go back to your duties. And the three of you have a meeting scheduled with me later in the Pomefiore dorm. Do I make myself clear?”
“Y-yes Housewarden. We regret our words.”
“I sure hope you do. But that won't lessen your punishment. You may go now.”
As the Pomefiore students leave, the others glaring at the three who insulted your tsum, Vil-tsum turns back to you and jumps into your arms, knowing that you would catch it. It cuddles up to your tsum as if it were comforting it, rubbing their cheeks and giving it kisses, or at least that's what it seemed like since tsum don't have mouths.
“How can they belittle such a demonstration of love and such a beautiful couple!” Rook says dramatically. “Je suis choqué!”
When you start having trouble holding two tsums at once, Vil approaches you and puts his arms around yours to help you.
“I am deeply sorry for the atrocities you heard.” He tells you in a soft voice but then smiled smugly. “You can help me think of an appropriate punishment if you like.”
Knowing that you were having difficulty holding them, your tsums end up jumping from your embrace to the ground. Your tsum still looks a little sad and Vil's tsum doesn't take its attention away from your tsum.
“Don't listen to them.” Vil says to your tsum. “Just because you don't fit their standards doesn't mean you're not beautiful. You should only care about the opinion of those who you really care about and who care about you.” He looks at you. “They are right about one thing, you two look ordinary.” He will smile in amusement if you look at him sulkily. “But who said that was ugly? The beauty of the ordinary is the most difficult to perceive, only those who truly recognize it deserve to appreciate it. And if you want to know my opinion, two extraordinary things become flashy, but one common thing brings balance and harmony. The kind of thing whose value and importance you only realize when it disappears.” He looks back at your tsum. “Don't listen to the opinions of ignorant people.”
Rook was crying with emotion and murmured how beautiful that moment had been. Your tsum, also moved by his words, jumps into Vil's arms. He almost got a fright, but he caught your tsum.
“*sigh* How cheeky.” Vil said, smiling softly. He holds your tsum as if he were holding a beloved baby.
Vil-tsum approaches you calmly, with an aura of dignity and sophistication. You lower yourself, kneeling on the ground and it climbs onto your lap. Like a cat demanding in the way you pet it.
Vil-tsum won't let anyone else take a picture of it unless they want to take a picture of it and your tsum together. If your tsum is too shy and doesn't want to take pictures, then Vil-tsum will also refuse.
Vil's tsum will try to convince him to give you and your tsum a beauty treatment. And if it doesn't succeed the first time, he'll steal Vil's cosmetics for your tsum. But since it's you, Vil ends up accepting.
Vil will have to keep an eye on Rook because he will become obsessed with your tsums together.
Your tsum was restless in Ramshackle Dorm and seemed to want to go somewhere. You picked it up and let it lead you out of the dorm. Your tsum made you pass through the Botanical Garden and the Alchemy Workshop until you reached the Hall of Mirrors, where it made you pass through the mirror that lead to Ignihyde. Once inside it doesn't take long for Ortho to appear to greet you.
“Hi (Y/N)!” He looks at the tsum in your arms. “Oh! You're back too. It's great to see you again! Are you here because of my big brother's tsum?”
And now you know why your tsum wanted to go there. Your tsum nods its little head. Ortho doesn't even bother to tell you where they are because they can only be in one place, but he says he'll have to leave because of the meeting with the Film Research Club and wishes you luck in dealing with his brother and his tsum. You go to Idia's room and knock on the door.
“Ortho? Did you forget something?” Idea asks instead of opening the door.
“No. It's me, (Y/N).”
He stammers your name in surprise. “W-w-w-what are you doing here?!”
You explain that your tsum was the one who took you to Ignihyde and that Ortho told you that an Idia lookalike had also appeared. Suddenly you hear a commotion inside the room and Idia asking in panic what it was doing.
The bedroom door opens. You see Idia lying on the floor in the middle of the room and in front of you an Idia-tsum staring at you. When your eyes meet his, his own sparkle and the blue in his hair takes on pink hues at the tips.
Your tsum jumps out of your arms and lands right on top of Idia-tsum. What no one expected, not even your tsum, was that Idia-tsum's reflex would be to take advantage of this to take your tsum, as if kidnapping it, to a kind of fortress made of cardboard boxes in the corner of the room.
“Welcome to the club.” Idia tells you as he stands up. “It also kidnapped my tablet. Now it has two captives.”
As soon as you enter, the door closes behind you again. You go to the cardboard boxes, kneel down and look inside. You see, through a gap in the boxes, the two tsums very close together playing a co-op game on the tablet.
“S-sorry about that.” Idia tells you embarrassed. “I can't get along with this tsum. I've been trying to get my tablet back for hours but it is so stubborn. ...What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
You think about it and say that if they stay calm like that until it's time for them to go back to their world, there shouldn't be any problems, right?
“OF COURSE THERE IS! MY LOGIN BONUSES! Why do you think I'm trying to get my tablet back?! Listen, I don't care what the tsums do as long as they don't cause me any problems or interfere with my games. And this tsum manages to do both. My room wasn't this disorganized before, but it keeps fighting me. You're good with delinquents, help me!”
If your tsum is really like you, it wants to get Idia-tsum out of those cardboard boxes like you want to get Idia out of his room. Which means if you have an idea you know your tsum will help you. You think about that co-op games and how Idia can be competitive when he believes he have a good chance of winning. Aka: in video games.
So you have an idea, but to do so you have to whisper the idea in the Idia's ear so the tsums don't hear. When you get closer he gets flustered. You suggest playing a 2 vs 2 game and invite the tsums to play, and encourages him to be as provocative as possible to ensure that his tsum accepts the challenge.
“And then what?" He whispers back to you "We'll have to entertain it while I get the tablet back.”
“I can handle that part.” you guarantee him.
You both follow the plan, luckily Idia has 4 controllers, probably because they are all different models. At first, Idia-tsum doesn't fall into the trap, but soon Idia's smugness kicks in
“Of course you don't accept the challenge. You don't even have opposing thumbs, how could you beat us?” The boxes move. “Or is it because you're a noob?” The boxes move again and it looks like Idia has an idea for the ultimate strike. “Oh, I see, it’s because your teammate is a normie who sucks at games.”
One of the boxes jumps like a spring and almost hits Idia in the face, as if whatever was underneath it had exploded. Idia-tsum jumps towards one of the controls with an irritated look and his hair completely red. Idia himself gives one of those scared YEPs, but for some reason he smiles when he sees that reaction from his tsum.
Your tsum jumps to the other controller next to Idia-tsum who looks at it and waves like a true duo preparing for battle. Idia gets prepered beside you and gives you a similar determined smile before he starts the game.
During the fighting game, it was as if Idia had forgotten about his tablet and whenever it seemed like you were having trouble he would get upset on your behalf and defend your character with his. His tsum did the same to your tsum.
It was only at the end of the round that Idia suddenly remembered the tablet and jumped out of his chair to pick it up from the floor next to the cardboard boxes. His tsum did the same thing, but you managed to catch it in time and held it in your arms with a strong hug. It struggled at first, but when it remembered that it was you who was grabbing it, its hair turned completely pink and it covered its eyes with its little hands.
“I collected...” ��Idia raises the tablet in his hands. “The Tablet!”
He looks at you with a triumphant smile, but if you are giving his tsum affection and kisses because it’s so cute, the tips of Idia's hair will also turn pink and he will be flustered.
Your tsum will jump right up to his face and give him some affection too, like rubbing its little face against his cheek.
“H-h-h-h-have you never heard of personal space?!”
You were walking with your tsum in your arms around the school campus when Lilia suddenly appeared.
“You're back!” Lilia surprises you and your tsum by appearing upside down in front of you. “Hi (Y/N)-tsum. It's so good to see you again. This is actually perfect.” He turns around and puts his feet on the ground. “You see, a Malleus-like tsum also appeared.” You feel your tsum move happily in your arms. “And Malleus decided to throw a party for it. I was looking for you to invite you, but now that I see that your tsum is back I know that both Malleus would love to have both of you at the party.
Your tsum gets so excited that it almost falls out of your arms.
“Good thing you're excited, because we're already late. Come with me. The party has already started.”
Lilia accompanies you and your tsum to Diasomnia. The lounge is full of Diasomnia students paying attention to Malleus and his tsum. Lilia asks you to follow him down the stairs and when you reach the last step the students in front of you look at you and respectfully make way between you and the two Malleus. Like soldiers taking positions on both sides of the road.
The two Malleus look confused to see what the students were doing and when the two tsums' eyes meet your tsum jumps out of your arms and hops towards Malleus-tsum very quickly. Some of the students (Sebek included) took one step forward to stop your tsum from "attacking" Malleus' tsum, but stop immediately at Lilia's signal.
Malleus-tsum did not move, excitedly waiting for your tsum to reach it. Your tsum did indeed attack Malleus' tsum, but with love and affection. Your tsum gave it a lot of affection and Malleus' tsum simply accepted it with smiling eyes, only occasionally reciprocating the affection. Malleus also looked at your tsum with a special affection in his eyes.
You approached the tsums to get a better look at Malleus’s. It approached you with that dignity that Malleus himself also has, looked at you for a few seconds and bowed. All the other students at Diasmonia suddenly did the same. Even Sebek, although he did so a little reluctantly.
You bowed back and asked if you could pet it. The other students looked at you again with extreme attention and some held their breath. Malleus-tsum pondered, creating suspense in the lounge, but then it made that happy tsum sound and jumped into your arms, super happy. It accepts any and all affection coming from you and it doesn't matter how strong your hug is, just like Malleus his tsum is also extremely strong and resistant.
Meanwhile, your tsum also jumps into Malleus' arms without warning. Hence the students' gasps echoing through the lounge.
“So fearless, jumping towards me like that.” Malleus smiled smugly. “You really don't fear that I might crush you?”
The other students were wary, but your tsum didn't seem to care what he was saying and jumped onto the top of his head, nestling between his two horns. Once again the students gasped in fear. Only Lilia and Silver were calm. Lilia was laughing.
“My liege, please forgive this insulting-” Sebek said, but was quickly interrupted by Malleus's good-natured laughter.
“How cheeky. I wonder who gave you permission to go up there.” He raises his arm to bring his hand closer to your Tsum in his head, touching its little nose affectionately before patting its head.
While you were hugging Malleus-tsum, one of its horns stung your cheek. It immediately stopped and looked at you worriedly when it heard you say ‘ouch’. When it realized it had hurt you, its little eyes watered. You said it was okay, that it hadn't really hurt you, it was just a little sting, you were fine, you hadn't even gotten a mark. But even so, you had to keep comforting it.
After that, Malleus-tsum wanted to dance with you and Malleus with your tsum. You did so. And the next one, the two tsums wanted to dance together. Following this same logic, Malleus invited you to dance.
At the end of the party, when your tsum gets tired, Malleus-tsum will accompany it to you and Malleus who are sitting together. But your tsum will lie on Malleus' lap, and he will pet it lovingly. Likewise, Malleus-tsum will lie down on your lap, even if it is not tired. It is extremely happy for you to pet it.
Malleus laughs happily when your tsum turns over onto its back so he can give it belly rubs.
Malleus-tsum looks at you and Malleus and thinks you're not close enough. It jumps from your lap to your side and gives you a little nudge on the leg with one of its little horns. You jump and lean against Malleus. You apologize, but Malleus still puts an arm around you. And now satisfied, his tsum returns to your lap, which is so close to Malleus' lap that the two tsums can nestle together too.
You were walking around the school campus with your tsum, but it got tired of always walking in your arms and now it was jumping around by your side.
You were crossing the bridge that led to the Mystery Shop grounds when your tsum, who was jumping on the edge of the bridge, slipped and fell into the water below you. The current took your tsum to the lake in front of the Hall of Mirrors building, you followed it running. Your tsum managed to grab onto a ledge in the rocks very close to the waterfall.
You didn't know what to do. You couldn't get down there and there was nothing to help you.
But at that moment something jumped into the water near your Tsum, grabbed onto it and grew so big that it was blocking the passage to the waterfall. It was Silver's tsum!
And speaking of him, Silver appears right after and uses his magic to make your tsum levitate and fly back into your arms. But what about his tsum? The water coming from the lake was accumulating and creating more pressure on the tsum.
But the two Silvers seemed to understand each other well and the Tsum quickly returned to its normal size and let itself fall down the waterfall, but Silver managed to use his magic to catch it in the middle of the fall and bring it back to land safe and sound.
Your tsum jumped out of your arms to hug Silver-tsum, who hugged it back, or at least the tsum version of a strong and affectionate hug.
If you do the same to Silver to thank him, he will be surprised at first, but will hug you back gently with a smile on his face.
“I'm glad you and your tsum are safe now.” Silver tells you. “My tsum and I fell asleep nearby. We both woke up to the sound of something falling into the water and your fright.”
Neither your tsum nor silver's tsum wanted to let go of each other.
“Were you heading back to your dorm? We will accompany you.”
He used his magic to dry your tsum and you for grabbing it right after it came out of the water. Your tsums seemed to agree on something and then your tsum jumped into Silver's arms while Silver-tsum jumped into yours. Your tsum was nestling in Silver's arms, while his tsum was on guard and alert to your surroundings.
“I think they want me to protect your tsum while my lookalike protects you.” Silver assumes, placing his arms protectively around your tsum.
You go to Ramshackle Dorm together and as soon as you arrive in the lounge, your two tsums go to the sofa and snuggle up very close. And now in a safe place and next to your tsum, Silver-tsum falls asleep very soundly. Both you and your tsum find it funny how soft he looks when he sleeps so deeply.
“There goes another attempt to stay awake for as long as possible.” Silver says smiling, also finding it funny. “But I can't blame it. I also feel very relaxed around you.”
You stay with your tsums in the lounge. There's a good chance Silver will fall asleep next to you. Or on your lap if you let him.
If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX
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↳ ❝ HONEY.. COME BACK TO ME. PLEASE. ❞
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ synopsis: in which, you and your ex-boyfriend katsuki bakugou can't seem to resist each other no matter what. even if you're only supposed to be friendly at the class reunion party.
starring: pro hero! katsuki bakugou x ex-girlfriend! reader ⍣ ೋ
disclaimers!: mentions of handjobs and oral sex in 3rd year at ua, oral sex (f! receiving), tits fixation, penetrative / p in v sex, car sex / semi-public sex, unprotected sex, creampie 🤭
note: spoilers for chapter 431 (a little different in some parts), usage of "brat", "honey", "sweets", "woman", fem reader, mentions of izuocha, second chance romance trope, porn with plot, microscopic angst, credits to gsony for center pic in my banner, i love them sm^^hope i did our husband justice 💜💜
╰┈➤ ❝ [why is he here?] you murmur quietly, discreetly watching katsuki from a distance, seeing him quiet and grumpy, drinking with a few of his friends alongside izuku.
ochako raises an eyebrow with a grin, clearly amused at your turmoil with the pro hero. she nudges your arm, looking at you from the side. "he's a part of the class too, y'know."
"i know that," you huff, sighing as you land your drink down the table, glancing back at him before looking back at ochako with a frown. "just.. its hard."
of course it was hard to see great explosion murder god dynamight. your ex-boyfriend, no matter how hot he looks in his usual black attire, his big biceps straining against the material, his post-war scars framing his muscular, gorgeous physique.
even before the war, you and katsuki were a great couple, despite your constant bickering and petty arguments. it just led up to increasing sexual tension and great makeout sessions. maybe got handsy a few times and did.. oral stuff in your 3rd year together but no more than that.
it all just came crumbling down after graduation, when you two gradually spent less time together as work kept both of you away from each other. you both ended it on good terms only after a year of being pro-heroes, but that doesn't stop you from missing him. from wanting him, needing him.
katsuki felt the exact same way. even if he was nonchalant about it now, he was barely holding himself back from dragging you away from this party and kissing your face off until he made up with the time both of you spent away from each other. which, to him, seemed like forever.
throughout the years, the two of you did see each other frequently during patrols and in joint-cases, made appropriate civilized small talk, but never ever talked about getting back together. it wasn't that both of you didn't want to: it just wasn't the perfect time. unlike this setting, where the two of you could talk properly.
ochako sighs softly, a small sympathetic smile on her face. "he's just a man, sweetie. after this, you'll barely see him again."
you bite you bottom lip and nod, tugging on the skin. you knew she made a good point, its just.. well, it doesn't change the fact that katsuki's in near proximity.
you sigh, smiling softly at her. "yeah, i know," you grin, nudging her arm, gesturing your head to izuku. "enough about me, though. what about you and midoriya, huh?"
ochako widens her eyes a little at the mention of her old highschool crush, shakes her head profusely, clearly flustered as vibrant pink tinting her cheeks. "i-i haven't even talked to deku in awhile! its been so long ago.."
you scoff and roll your eyes, grab her shoulder, and shake them a little. "well, change that. c'mon, i saw him looking at you anyway. maybe the same way he did todoroki but at least he looked at you. that counts for something."
you could still see the reluctance in her eyes to go so you shake her arm again in encouragement. "gooo, i'll be here, drinking my problems away, rooting for you."
ochako shakes her head at you with a soft grin, clearly wanting to but shyness was holding her back.
"i suppose a hello wouldn't hurt," her grin widens, pressing her cheek against yours, mumbling a soft thank you. "wish me luck."
you wave at ochako, mouthing to her good luck, as she approaches izuku, watching their cute interaction from afar. they wave at each other like the young, shy high-schoolers they once were, chatting and laughing softly over something trivial. izuku then offers her to sit beside him.
izuku eyes katsuki with a grin, gesturing his head to leave. katsuki rolls his eyes, but stands up, giving his seat to ochako. like the little bitch fate is, katsuki approaches ochako's empty seat beside you, looking at you with a small grin.
"oh, you sly fucker," your eye twitches. you didn't know who to be mad at, izuku or his insufferable best friend, but you could see ochako looking at you in worry, mouthing a quick sorry before getting enveloped by izuku's conversation again.
you sigh, shaking your head. on the bright side, whats the worst that can happen?
you give katsuki a soft smile, waving weakly at him. your hand feels stiff from how nervous you are, shaking it under the table to shake off the nerves. "hi."
katsuki raises an amused eyebrow at you, wearing his signature snarky smirk. he nods, settling down in ochako's empty seat. "hey, brat."
as you sat next to him, you couldn't help but feel a mixture of emotions. a pang of nostalgia, a flutter in your chest at the sight of him, and a hint of sadness at the memory of what could have been.
you took in his spicy cinnamon scent with smoky notes that you missed so much, the way his blonde hair was messily fixed, and his sardonic grin. it was hard to ignore the spark of longing, repeatedly chanting in your head that he was your ex for reason.
katsuki glanced over at you, eyes meeting for a brief moment. his crimson eyes catch the light of the room, making them glow like bloodstone. it made your stomach do backflips, forcing yourself to breathe.
”i’m surprised you actually came,” he says, his voice low and casual.
when he spoke again, the sound of his voice sent a shiver down your spine. it was the same voice that had whispered sweet nothings in your ear, the same voice that had laughed at your stupid, corny jokes, the same voice you had fallen asleep listening to on countless nights in the past.
you felt your palms begin to sweat but couldn't help but be a little pissed. it reminded you of what you said to ochako earlier, but still. "why wouldn't i? i'm in the class as much as you, aren't i?"
"don’t be a smartass,” he takes a sip of his drink, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. your eyes followed the movement, a wave of memories hitting like a tidal wave.
other classmates fanned out of the room as the night goes on, but katsuki took advantage of this, seperating you from them, keeping you all to himself.
he turned to face you fully, your knees touching with his for a moment as he shifted in his seat. the sudden contact made you inhale sharply, trying your best to keep your expression neutral.
"you look good," he said quietly, eyeing you up and down slowly, his gaze lingering on parts of your body that he clearly remembered well.
the warmth in your cheeks grew a little, clearing your throat, a soft chuckle escaping your lips. "thanks. wish i could say the same for you."
he raised an eyebrow at you, a smirk tugging at his lips. "is that how it’s going to be?”
"well, you look like you need a shave," you lied. he didn't.
"oh? i thought you liked it when i was a little scruffy, sweets," you absolutely fucking did. there was nothing you wanted more than to lean in and feel the stubble on his jaw, to remember the roughness of his cheeks while you made out him. while he spoils your neck with hickies. while his head is in between your thighs, kissing your clit-
"that was years ago," you avert your gaze from him, unable to look at him any longer without crumbling. why was he so fucking attractive? it's been seven goddamn years. don't ex-boyfriends get ugly after a break-up?
"why do i get the feelin' you've missed it, hm?"
"i don't. you're delusional."
"you're a real terrible liar, brat."
"lying about you being delusional?"
"lying about you not missin' this. missin' me," he reached out to you, his fingers brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. his touch was gentle as his knuckles grazed your cheek briefly. fuck.
"i don't.. i don't miss this. i don't miss you," you chew on the inside of your cheeks, trying to hold on to any semblance of composure you had. all the dignity you had was telling you to pull away but did you listen? fuck no.
"you're not very good at hidin' how much you want someone, sweets."
"quit it, katsuki. i said i don't."
"oh, that's real fuckin' funny. but i'll be clear," he chuckles deeply, a slow victorious smile on his face. you're starting to crack.
his hand slowly sliding towards your thigh, hidden from anyone else's view under the table. fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck. his closeness was already making it harder to think, the sensation of his touch only weakening your resistance.
"i'm done pretendin' i don't want you. so, honey, cut it out, because we both know you want me too."
your gaze widened, quickly biting down on your bottom lip, trying to stop yourself from saying anything stupid.
luckily, before you could even respond, the very man who put you in this situation, izuku approached with kirishima in tow.
"hey kacchan, would it be okay if we leave now? i have an early class tomorrow," izuku asks, not a care in the world that he interrupted something between you two.
katsuki was staring daggers at him though, because he had to pull his hand away from your plush thigh.
"yeah, i gotta hit the sack too, man," kirishima rubs the back of his neck, who knows hes interrupting something between the two of you but doesn't say anything about it.
but.. that doesn't mean he doesn't want to fuck around a little. kirishima looks at you with a friendly grin. "hey, wanna come with?"
you panic a little. another chance for katsuki to wreck your defenses? could you handle that?
"nah, i'd rather not disturb, i'll just wait for a cab-"
"the fuck you're not. you're not takin' a cab, brat. i'm drivin' you home," katsuki spat, his tone leaving no room for argument.
the ride home was pleasantly quiet in a way that wasn't uncomfortable. the atmosphere was a bit tense, but it was manageable.
you found yourself in the passenger seat of his black porsche 911 gt3 rs, not because you wanted to, but because according to katsuki:
"you better sit your ass down here or i swear to god, woman, i'll pin you down this chair myself."
so, it left izuku and kirishima in the backseat that seemed to drown them (comfortably). you didn't utter a single word during the drive, merely listening to their conversation, occasionally cracking a small smile and chuckling at their banter.
the silence thickened again when katsuki dropped kirishima and izuku off, leaving the two of you alone in the quiet car.
okay, you needed a game plan. keep quiet, do not give in, and do not fuck him-
"i missed you, y'know," he murmurs, his eyes still focused on the road.
his words caught you off guard, startled you. you missed him too. so fucking much. but the words got stuck in your throat, pride and fear holding you back. you try to keep your emotions in check, keeping quiet and not giving in according to your game plan-
"too fuckin' much. pisses me off. started to bother kirishima too," he lets out a frustrated sigh, his grip on the steering wheel tightening a little, his knuckles turning white. "plagues the shit out of me. that i think about you almost everyday at the most random fuckin' times, its terrifying."
he glances at you briefly, sighing before focusing his eyes back on to the road, running his free hand through his blond hair. "honey, talk to me."
"...what do you want me to say, katsuki?"
"just.. tell me what you're thinkin', okay? what you're feelin'. the fuckin' truth, goddamn it, don't shut me out."
fucking hell. it was just so easy to give in to your feelings, to tell him how much you missed him. how much you wanted to be with him again. but you were afraid — afraid of having to start the healing process all over again.
but.. that didn't stop you from bearing your heart out.
"you want the truth?" you turn your head to face him. "fine."
"it haunts me that you're the first thing i think of whenever i'm overjoyed with something or whenever i have a bad day. that whenever my friends ask if we could eat something spicy, i think of you. can't tell you the multiple times i had to hold myself back from hitting the send button to your old number."
"i missed you too, katsuki. more than i thought. hell, more than i should. you never left my mind, no matter how many times i tried to tell myself that you did."
katsuki remained silent for a while, his mind obviously occupied with your confession as he watched the road. it made you panic a little. was it too much?
but then, without warning, he makes a quick turn, swerving off the main road and into a nearby parking lot like his life depended on it.
it catches you off guard as the car suddenly lunges forward, making you hold on to the side of the car door. he parks the car in a secluded corner, away from any prying eyes.
"what are you doing?" you asked, still taken aback from what happened as you watch him unbuckle his seatbelt.
"what does it look like i'm doing?" his eyebrow arched, as if the answer should be obvious.
without waiting for a response, he reclines your seat for more space. he unbuckles your seatbelt before climbing over, hovering over you. "gonna get what i fuckin' want. and right now, sweets, that's you."
you swallowed hard, his words and closeness sending a shiver down your spine. you could feel yourself getting hotter with every second that passed, your body aching for his touch.
but you were still reluctant. even with your thighs clenched together, your core felt like a pool of hot, wet need. and he could tell.
katsuki's frustration was evident. he lets out a deep sigh, leaning his head against your neck, inhaling your scent, barely trying to hold himself back from doing anything drastic.
"honey.. come back to me. please."
his voice was thick with pathetic need, a raw desperate desire for you burning in him.
fuck.
you know you should put up a fight, should try and resist him. but your body was aching for him.
and you really, really, couldn't fucking care less.
the moment your palms caress his cheeks, katsuki's eyes flutter shut, and he leans into your touch, sighing. you can feel him shiver under your fingertips, his body burning with longing. as your eyes meet his, a flash of raw desire flickers across his face.
and then, it's as if a dam breaks.
he leans in, his lips crashing into yours in a fierce, desperate kiss. his mouth is hot and eager against yours, his tongue slipping past your lips in a possessive, needy gesture.
katsuki's hands find your waist, strong and sure, pulling you closer as if the space between you is unbearable. you could feel his dick pressed up in between your legs, almost trembling with the intensity of his need.
your fingers slide up into his hair, tangling in the soft, unruly strands as you deepen the kiss. he groans against your mouth, the sound low and guttural, sending a shiver down your spine. his lips move against yours like he’s trying to memorize every curve, every taste.
when he pulls back, just enough for his forehead to rest against yours, his breath comes in ragged gasps, mingling with your own. his crimson eyes, half-lidded and heavy with desire, bore into yours.
“don’t think for a second that im done with you,” he murmurs, his voice low and hoarse. “you're not gettin' outta here until i've had my fill of you, sweets."
he grins, chuckling darkly. "or should i say.. until i've filled you up."
when he grinds his hips harder against yours, you can't help the gasp that escapes your lips. the feeling of his dick pressing against you makes your head spin, desire pooling in your wet cunny. fuck, was he always that big?
"oh, fuck," he inhales, almost hissing. "you feel that, sweets? hm? feel how hard my dick is, just for you?"
your bit you bottom lip, your head nodding slightly in response. your breath hitches when his hand reaches for in between your legs, inching up your skirt, rubbing his thumb against your damp panties.
"look at you, already such a fuckin' wet mess," he coos, a predatory grin on his face, glancing between your clothed, wet cunt and your flushed look. "haven't even started yet. you that eager for me, sweets?"
"stop being such a fucking tease and just.." your cheeks burn, embarassed, turning your head to the side. "fuck me."
"oh, i plan to sweets, don't worry," his voice low and sultry, tugging on the elastic of your panties, pulling them down your thighs. "wanna taste you first. haven't tasted this sweet fuckin' pussy in a long, long time."
"katsuki.. what if someone sees us?"
"honey.. i don't fuckin' care."
katsuki had brought you to the backseat of his car, stripped you off your skirt and panties and had your legs spread out like he needed to taste you or he'd die.
katsuki flicked his tongue at your clit, licking up your sweet, wet slick, feeling you squirm and mewl from under him. your legs were practically begging to be close shut, but he forced your legs open with his big, strong arms, both of his hands holding either side of your thighs.
"fuck, sweets, you taste so good," he groans against your folds, the intoxicating scent of your sweet cunt flooding his thoughts. "so fuckin' wet.."
you could hear the squelching sound of his tongue lap at your pussy, the lewd sound of his saliva and your slick turning you on. you took off your top and unhooked your bra, tossing it somewhere in the car. you played with your tits, pinching your nipples as you watched him ate your pussy like it was his last, delicious meal on earth.
"katsuki," you mewled, breath hitching as he fucks you with his skilled tongue.
"what, too much?" katsuki rasped, enjoying how you responded to his touch.
you nodded, already seeing stars.
he grunts, biting your inner thigh before chasing your orgasm again. "fuck that. missed this tight wet pussy of yours too much. can't believe you kept this sweet thing from me for so long..."
"katsuki," you moan his name, you grip on a handful of his hair, embarassed, almost going cross-eyed. he was eager to give you his all, it was slightly overwhelming. but you needed him. "too much, too much..."
"take it all for me, yeah, sweets?" katsuki grunts, raising the pace of his tongue, earning whimpering noises from you. "i know you can, c'mon. makin' my dick so fuckin' hard just watchin' you, holy shit.."
katsuki continues his delirious advance on your cunt, his perverted appetite for you making him so fucking horny. his cock twitches in his pants from the arousing act, throbbing from all the gluttony he was feeling. he couldn't get enough of it. he acted like a man starved and he needed all of you to quench his craving.
not that he'd ever stop craving you.
"katsuki, 'm about to-" you wail about your climax. your walls tighten around his tongue, your hips squirming from under him. you push your cunt against his face, wanting more friction.
"cum for me, sweets, c'mon," he continued to lap at your wet, sloppy mess. "need to taste you so fuckin' bad."
"fuck, fuck!" you squeal, moaning loudly as you painted his tongue white, shattered breathing as your chest heaved up and down.
katsuki doesn't waste another second, burying his face in between your legs as he glides his tongue across your pussy at a quick pace, savoring it all and riding out your orgasm. your legs shake from the overstimulation he was doing, whimpering from the way his tongue feels. he looks at you greedily, his cock agitated as his carnal desire to fuck you until your legs shaking burns more in him.
"'m so proud of you, sweets. c'mere, come gimme a kiss," he moves closer to you, his touch gentle and affectionate as he caresses your cheek before pressing his lips against yours in a kiss. you could almost taste yourself on his tongue.
his kisses are slow and gentle, his fingers find your nipples, pinching them as your fingers find their way into his hair.
he pulls away from you, panting and sweating, quickly stripping himself of his clothes, tossing them somewhere in the car.
he tugs his boxers down and pulls his cock out, already dripping with pre-cum before pulling you back in for a sloppy, desperate kiss. fuck, you don't remember it being that big.
you could feel his erection, his cock cushioning your wet cunt, his throbbing tip kissing your stimulated clit, just begging to be inside of you.
"you ready for me, right, sweets?" he murmurs, in between your tongues clashing together, waiting for your nod. he dips a finger inside you, making you moan. "look at this fuckin' pussy, could just slip in and bury my dick deep inside of you..."
"please," you plead, your voice soft and trembling, a pout tugging at your lips. you're needy and desperate, the words spilling out in a breathy whine. "i need you... so bad."
"god, you're killin' me here sweets," he took a deep breath, panting for air. "you sure?"
you took a shaky breath, your eyes meeting his. "yes. please... i want this, i want you."
your words broke the last thread of his restraint. in an instant, he closed the distance, his lips crashing onto yours with unrelenting intensity. as if you were his only source of salvation.
katsuki's hands found your waist as he grips on you firmly, guiding you onto his lap and positioning you to straddle him with an effortless, commanding strength. he was desperate, completely consumed by the need for you, his longing obliterating any trace of rational thought.
katsuki positions his dick inside of your pussy, groaning as he watches you mewl, disappearing inside of you and stretching your walls painfully. yet you still felt the raw need for him.
"katsuki," you pant as you sat on his cock, adjusting as you dangle your arms by his shoulders. "fuck me, pl-"
he doesn't even let you finish, carrying you briefly before slamming you down on his cock, feeling your pussy clamp down on him again and again.
"you look so pretty like this, sweets, fuck," he looks up at you in awe. his moves his mouth is on your tits, sucking on your nipple.
you take it all with a wail, closing your eyes in blissful pleasure as the tip of his cock kisses your walls.
"oh my fuckin' god, i love you so fuckin' much, sweets. holy shit. and this fuckin' pussy too. you know that, don't you?" he asks, his crimson eyes gazing into yours, tension filling the small corners of the car.
"yeah," you nod, your skin heating up, stammered breaths as his cock was stretching you, abusing your warmth.
"then say it back."
"no wa-"
you scream as katsuki humps you down on his cock mercilessly, tears pooling in the corner of your eyes as you struggle to take him. your hips squirm against the girth and length of his cock abusing your hole to its satisfaction.
"katsuki!" his name slips out of your lips, letting out a wanton moan as his deep, hungry thrusts buck inside you out of spite. "sl-slow down..."
"hell fucking no."
"katsuki, please!"
"not until you say it back."
"fucking- fine! i love you, okay?" you mewl at the pain, but at the same time it made you feel so so good.
"say it again, didn't hear it," he taunts, his thrusts still deep and desperate enough capable of making you cream on his cock.
"i said, i love you!" you panted, whimpering from his hips snapping into yours.
"that's my girl," katsuki grins, letting his hand travel to caress your cheek before pulling you in for a messy, sloppy kiss.
you feel your cunny coil of essence, chasing your climax desperately with him at the last few thrusts.
you pull away from him, panting. "katsuki, fuck, gonna cum again..."
"mhm, gonna cum too, sweets," he grunts, thrusting into your cunt sloppily. "cum with me, yeah?"
you pant out of bliss, nodding. his hips snap into yours as he thrusts into your cunt harder, dripping of your shared slicks.
you mewl as shockwaves of pleasure hit you, throwing your head back as your tight, white walls clench around his cock. katsuki groans, his hips stuttering as he cums inside of you, a creamy frothy ring of white wrapped around the base of his cock as it kisses your folds.
both of you lay intertwined together, bodies tangled and panting together, breaths mingling, basking in the quiet warmth of each other's presence.
you pout up at him, delivering a playful slap to his cheek before sinking into his arms with a huff. "you're so mean."
katsuki chuckled deeply, the sound low and teasing. he didn't seem offended by your light hit, he seemed more amused by it.
"oh, please, you love me," he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer against his chest. he nuzzled into your hair.
his body relaxed somewhat as he held you. he couldn't help but marvel at how easily you fit against him, how well your body molded to his.
"i've missed having you in my arms, you know," he admires you, tugging a strand of your hair. "it's been... goddamn painful."
you bite your bottom lip, a deep sense of understanding in the sympathetic smile that tugs at the corners of your lips. you hold his gaze, knowing intimately the emotions that swirl within him. "i know, hon. me too."
the softness in his eyes is palpable as the pet name you had for him washes over him, a hint of vulnerability there that he rarely shows. he hides his face in the curve of your neck, his breath warm against your skin. "honey, i never wanna let go of you again."
you raise an eyebrow, a cheeky grin on your face as you tenderly caress his cheek, your gaze locking with his.
"i'm not going anywhere."
he looks up at you, returning your grin. his lips then gently meets yours in a soft, lingering kiss.
"good. i wouldn't let you even if you tried."
‧₊˚✧[ it's me, kia! ]✧˚₊‧ 。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚ ‧₊˚✧[ more of katsuki ! ]✧˚₊‧
⋆˚࿔ tags (blogs who requested/ commented / reblogged on teaser): ˚⋆ @pikachuzhc @dragonscribble @obitosdefencelawyer @oladelmars @dietc0ke-stomach @liliththedxmon @junehasnotbeenfound @kaizuzuzu @babylambdietcoke @bri-licious08 @itadoriwife @katsukiglazerrr @secretlilli @trishiepo0 @akitafox @un-limit-edd @kalulakunundrum @krbkswifey @orangeheliophile @kenqki @thisbicc @augustraine @lisbethw @vikizzy @king-dynamight @legendarybatherringmonger @srcyy @moonlightwriter
⋆˚࿔ kia's note ˚⋆ was overwhelmed with how much attention the teaser was getting, EVEN ONE OF MY FAVORITE WRITERS LIKED THE POST @cathnospam ILYSM YOURE MY HERO. feedback/constructive criticism is always welcome!! i was working on my thesis defense (accepted!!) while writing this so i apologize for the delay and if theres any grammatical errors^^ i am beyond grateful to all of you and i hope you enjoyed reading the epitome of me being horny for katsuki🥹🥹
#bakugou smut#katsuki smut#bakugo smut#katsuki bakugou#bakugo katsuki smut#katsuki x reader#bakugo katuski#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugo mha#mha bakugou#mha bakugo katsuki#bnha bakugo katsuki#bnha bakugou#bnha smut#mha oneshot#bakugo oneshot#Spotify#mha#bnha#dynamight x reader#bnha x y/n#bakugo#bakugo katsuki x reader#bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo#bakugo x reader#bakugou katsuki#bakugou katsuki smut#katsuki bakugo x reader
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Come Home to Me (1/2)
Read Part 2 here.
Pairing: Sung Jinwoo X Female Reader
Genre: Marriage AU, fluff, smut, slight angst
Summary: Jinwoo bids you and his baby daughter goodbye before he goes on another dangerous mission. As his wife, you've grown used to the bittersweet farewell, only this time, you're not sure if he can return safely to you.
Word Count: 5K
Content Warnings: None for this one. Semi-public sex in part 2. Contains minor spoilers and the appearance of Beru, the shadow soldier that he obtained during Jeju Island Raid.
Author's Note: Wrote something fluffy for him since there's already plenty of Daddy!Jinwoo fics out there but none for Papa!Jinwoo 😔

A week.
Your husband has only been gone for a week, tasting the air of a country that stretched like a vast sea on the other side of the world, wishing every breath and scenery was shared with you. And yet, the suspense of being kept in waiting, clueless to what was happening, was almost too much to bear. You never thought that seven days could stretch like infinity, how every hour passed by so slowly, so agonizingly, as if you had lost your sole purpose in life. Had you realized it sooner, you would’ve begged him not to go, knowing you’d be dreading every passing second, wondering if he was safe, if he was close to death’s door like the last time you let him go to protect Seoul from being transformed into an everlasting iceland.
“What are you so worried about? You have it so easy. Your husband is untouchable. Try being a D-rank hunter’s wife like me. I’m lucky if he comes home with only a bruise on his face.”
What your neighbor told you was true. You had it easy compared to everyone else. You’re the wife of Korea’s 10th S-Rank Hunter. The Lord of the Undead. The Shadow Monarch. As the sixth nation-level hunter, maybe even a level beyond that, your husband’s strength was nearly immeasurable, far better than anyone else. But to you… He was just Sung Jinwoo. The father of your beautiful baby daughter, a loving husband who refused to believe that he was handsome enough to charm your heart from the very first sight, and an ardent lover who’d be more than willing to sacrifice the world for you, the same one he had vowed to protect with all his power. Jinwoo might be strong, surpassing all humans and beings alike, but even the Gods themselves weren’t invincible. And the thought of him not returning to you, no matter how slim the chance might be, scared you to your bones.
He had made enemies. Powerful enemies. Enemies that didn’t just wish to kill him but to torture. Enemies that were no longer just mindless beasts or demons but ones who bore immense hatred and revenge in their hearts.
With that knowledge in mind, all sorts of thoughts and scenarios raced through your head, all of them ending in worst-case scenarios.
What if Jinwoo doesn’t come home?
And, of course, amidst all that fear, there was loneliness. The kind that lingered every time your fingertips traced over your husband’s belongings in your bedroom. The kind that suffocated you when you caught a whiff of his sweet scent in your pillows. You thought you could handle it. It was only for a week, after all. It was not until later that you realized that it meant you had to miss seven occasions of him surprising you in the morning with a back hug and a tender kiss on your neck. Seven chances of seeing him opening the front door with a bag of sweets to please your daughter, embracing your little one with the sweetest of smiles before he greeted you with an equally sweet peck on the lips. Seven nights of nothing but the deafening silence to keep you company instead of deep, consuming kisses that took your breath away and a hand sliding up your thigh to remind you just who you belonged to.
You thought such a solitary feeling wouldn’t strike you so hard since you had your daughter to keep you company at all times, but it did, harder than lightning. You felt lonely the minute your husband kissed you goodbye. You felt lonely the moment he lovingly caressed your cheek, brushing another kiss, lighter and tender than before, right on your temple. You felt lonely the second his voice rang through your ears to speak his farewell, “Goodbye, baby. I’ll be home as soon as I clear the gate.”
Soon was not enough. Soon, you realized, was just another word for eternity. Eternity without him. But the world needed him, and you couldn’t be selfish. You shouldn’t.
You hummed quietly in response, carrying your baby in your arms as your heart stood heavy with the fear for his safety. You knew you should’ve hidden it better so your husband could leave with ease. Seeing you worry so much would only make his heart ache more.
You could tell that he already had his own concerns and doubts to dwell on, gnawing at him from the inside. Jinwoo was just better at hiding everything to himself—the burden he was carrying, the guilt of leaving you behind, the exhaustion of doing endless raids, one gate harder than the last. To tell the truth, he was as torn as you were. Like you, who constantly grew anxious over his well-being, he worried about yours, too, perhaps a million times worse. He was a hunter possessing God-like abilities, but you were just a human, as normal as one could be. The closest way to get to him, to strike him where he’d bleed the most, was through you. You and his sweet baby daughter. It was the reason why Jinwoo had assigned a hundred High Orcs to protect the neighborhood, with another hundred swarming beneath the shadows of your walls. He’d transformed your home into a fortress, and yet, even then, his concern for you remained. But your husband never told you this, and he wished you wouldn’t come to realize it on your own, not wanting you to feel like you were the anchor that slowed him down, a weight that would drown him deep into the void.
You should’ve done the same. As his wife, the least you could do was put up a strong face, convince him that everything would be fine, that he’d return home safely, and that you’d be there waiting for him to welcome him with the warmth of your lips meeting his own. You could’ve offered him the peace he secretly sought after, and most of the time, you did a fine job at it, but this evening was different. There was a sense of impending dread closing in with every tick of the clock, and you couldn’t wash it away no matter what you did.
With his car keys dangling in one hand, Jinwoo headed toward your porch, carrying a suitcase with him. His long coat swayed gracefully with each step taken, his matching black shirt unbuttoned low enough to showcase the dip of his sternum. Even from behind, he appeared tall and strong, providing the feeling of security you couldn’t find in anyone else. Your baby held onto you, laying her head on your chest as you followed after your husband’s footsteps, oblivious to the heavy storm raging in your mind.
Don’t go. You felt like catching his hand and pulling him back even from the second he removed himself from your embrace. “J-Jinwoo.”
His gaze flickered back to you, one hand settled on the door of his car. His eyes, the same pair that caused even the most vicious beast to tremble in fear, they were always so gentle to you, weren’t they? “Yeah?”
You swallowed your breath. Don’t tell him. Don’t make him worry more than he already is. You released a shaky breath, followed closely after with your best smile. “Be safe.”
A flash of curiosity fleeted across his face. He sensed something from how you behaved but did not quite understand it just yet, as your mask was nearly perfect. Smiling to himself, he settled down his suitcase and returned to you. Jinwoo laid a hand on your head, his palm large and gentle. As you looked up, greeted by his towering height, he bent himself slightly to be closer to you. He brushed the stray strands out of your eyes; his smile had a hint of confidence—maybe even arrogance—in it. “And who do you think you’re talking to, Sweetheart?”
To anyone else’s eyes, your husband might often come across as indifferent, with his charisma and leadership ceaselessly exuding out of him, making him seem unapproachable, guarded. But to you, he was always playful. Cheeky. Flirty, even. Not too much, just enough for your heart to palpitate inside your ribcages, just enough for you to recall the reason why your life was so beautiful, meaningful. No, the reason why you were alive in the first place.
But it wasn’t enough to ease your worry, not today. Even so, you returned it with a delicate bow of your lips. “My husband,” you said, angling your head just enough for his hand to slide down to your cheek, gazing up at him with sincerity, “who I couldn’t bear to live without.”
He blinked, taken by surprise with such an earnest answer. Once the words sank in, his entire expression softened. His fingertips traced the contour of your cheek, a touch so tender you wondered if it truly belonged to someone who had drenched his hands in blood. His palm was rough, calloused from all the countless hours he’d spent wielding his dagger, but it comforted you more than anything else. “You’re right, I am,” he replied softly. “Which is why you don’t need to worry. As your husband, I have the responsibility—and this aching need—to be with you. No matter how hard it is, no matter how long it will take me, I will do anything, everything, to make sure I return to you.” He lifted your face just enough to brush a kiss on your temple. “I’ll come home safe and sound, the way I always do. You just need to trust me on this, all right?”
You believed him—you did, you always did—but you couldn’t put the same faith in whoever controlled his fate.
Jinwoo stood close, close enough for you to take in his scent and feel the familiar heat radiating from his body. He brought your face to his, pressing your foreheads together. Your lids fluttered shut at the intimacy, a habit of yours that he’d grown to adore. You wanted to cry, the silvery voice in your mind telling you this might be the last time you could bask in this serenity. You would’ve done it, sobbed your heart out, if it wasn’t because of the thin thread of restraint holding you together.
“Instead of telling me to be safe,” Jinwoo breathed out softly, closing his eyes just the same. “Tell me you’ll be waiting for me.” He returned the small distance between your faces, just enough for you to marvel at the sweetness of his smile. “That you’ll be here, standing by the door to greet me with a smile, with the same kiss you gave me before we parted. Can you do that for me, Sweetheart? Can you wait here for me, stay safe, and make sure that I have something to come back to?”
You squeezed your lips tightly before you altered the tremble running through them into a smile. You covered his hand with your own, your digit brushing against the silver ring that adorned his lean finger, glinting under the sunset with your name carved inside. “Jin…” You brushed your lips against the center of his palm, exhaling heavily as you drowned in his warmth. It was nearly impossible to release the words, the same way you never wanted to release him. “Come home soon. Come home to me. I’ll be waiting for you.”
For someone who rarely showed emotions across his face, his joy unfolded like a flower, crystal clear for even your baby to see. With a quiver in his breath, his voice dropped an octave lower. “Baby,” he sighed, his voice hoarse with need, your stomach somersaulting at the sound. “You’re making it so hard for me to leave right now.”
If it was hard for him, it was unbearable to you. “I was just doing what you told me to.”
“I didn’t expect you to say it like that,” he replied, almost in a whine. “Now, I’ve lost motivation to go. Maybe I should just change back to my sweatpants and cuddle with you two. Watch cartoons all day. Eat cakes and have tea parties.” He tickled his daughter by the chin, returning her questioning eyes with a slight grin. “Doesn’t that sound fun, Princess?”
It was heartwarming the way he spoke it, the way he imagined it, how he craved for more time to spend with his family. “Then, stay,” you said, an impish, albeit faint, smile twinkled on your pretty mouth. “Stay with me.” You pulled your daughter, who had been listening while babbling quietly to herself, closer to you, your cheek squeezed tight against her plump one. “With us.”
“And watch the world burn?” His chuckle, your favorite sound in the world, reverberated nicely in your ears.
You fell into deep rumination, taking his words into serious consideration despite it being a jest. A dungeon break would happen soon on the other side of the world, and an S-rank gate at that. Nobody was strong enough to close it. Nobody was strong enough to clear it. It would destroy the whole city in the following two days had it not been taken care of—no, maybe even the entire state. Hundreds—thousands—of innocent lives would be wiped out in an instant should that happen. Your husband had the power to stop it. He was the only one capable of saving them, but…
“Would that… be so bad?” You feebly questioned before you could stop yourself, almost pleadingly. “Just one time… Don’t be a hero just this one time. Just be my husband and stay with me. Stay right here, where I need you the most.”
His smile vanished, his body freezing at the solemnity in your tone. He was lost for words, perplexity in his stare. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed his breath. Jinwoo cupped your cheek again, his gaze turning stern as he beseeched you for the truth. “Are you really asking me that?”
You gulped. His words had weight behind them, responding to you just as earnestly. It was almost as if he was on the verge of doing the same, just needing that one last push for his will to save the world to shatter. Your words could be it.
You felt weak under his stare, almost breathless, intoxicated by how deeply he loved you, to the point he would trade innocent lives for it. “As long as that means you can always be with me,” you answered, letting your selfish thought slip, saying it so quietly as if you couldn’t bear the Gods to know just how sinful your wish was. “I’ll trade the world for it.”
Not a word flowed from his mouth. His hold on your face was almost as still as a statue. Within this proximity, under this palpable tension, your gaze dropped to his thin lips, the same way his deep, cobalt eyes fell to yours. His eyes darkened, his body burning with desire. “Don’t tempt me,” he uttered, almost in a growl, before he smashed your lips together. He gathered your face in his hands, kissing you fast and hard, disregarding everything, anything except you. You could feel just how much he wanted to make your wish come true, and it painted elation onto your soul but guilt onto your heart. It was an awful thing to say, jest or not.
His moan, soft, breathy, and sensual, granted a layer of sweet vibration on your lips, and oh, you were wrong. This one was your favorite sound in the world. You were in the middle of drowning in his kiss, in the swirling, intense emotions he permeated your heart with, when the sound of your daughter’s giggles rang through the air. Immediately, you stopped, breaking away from him. “W-what are you laughing about, Sweetheart?” you asked her, flames licking your cheeks. “I can’t believe we just did that in front of our child!” You hissed at him, glaring.
Jinwoo averted his face to the side, looking just as flushed and caught off guard. Wiping the stain of your lip gloss off his lips with his knuckles, he uttered back, “Don’t blame me. This is all your fault.”
“How is it my fault? You kissed me.”
“You were looking at me with those eyes.”
“With what eyes?” You played dumb. “This is how I normally look at you.”
He snorted, amused. “Oh, so you weren’t just staring at my lips? Asking me to sacrifice the world for you while you did it?”
Your face sizzled. “Oh, shut up.”
Jinwoo laughed, quiet and soft as always, but his eyes crinkled prettily around the edges. Your daughter chortled along, too, as if she could understand the words you exchanged with your husband. In reality, she was simply mirroring the joy that gleamed on both of your faces, happy to see the unspoken, lingering sadness between you disappear even for a moment.
When you returned your stare from your daughter to the man before you, you caught him staring at you. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Nothing,” Jinwoo shrugged with a smile. Happy. “Hey, can you say it again?”
“Say what?”
“That you’ll be waiting for me to come back to you.”
Your heart thrashed inside your ribcages. For some reason, with him looking at you with those eyes and that smile, it felt mortifying to repeat it. You looked away, mumbling out the words almost inaudibly, “I’ll be waiting for you.”
“Baby,” he playfully scolded. “Be a good girl and say it like you mean it.”
Good gi—Must he say it like that? Your cheeks burned. “I’ll… I’ll be waiting… for you.”
So cute, his expression seemed to say, adoring you with his smile growing wide and clear, consumed by the love you presented him, love that was fully returned. “One more time, love. Please.”
You exhaled, finally succumbing to his wish. You held his gaze, your expression sheepish, nervous, but you said it as best as you could, placing a piece of your heart in every word.
“Come home to me. I’ll be waiting for you. I’ll always be waiting for you.”
It resonated straight into his chest, erasing every hint of smirk off his lips. A spark of desire filled his gaze as he dove his head to capture your lips once more, forgetting yet again that your baby was there—looking at the two of you with curious eyes.
“H-Honey,” you stopped him just in time despite wanting it as badly—especially after that last kiss. Funny how your body still longed desperately for his touch even after he’d endlessly robbed moans out of your mouth the previous night. “Your daughter’s still here.”
“Right.” Jinwoo broke free from the thought, no matter how inviting your lips looked. He turned toward his daughter, rubbing her head. “Sorry, kiddo. Mommy looked so pretty; I got completely absorbed for a moment there. The one before that was completely her fault, though.”
You elbowed him on the side, stealing another chuckle from him. “You’re not in a hurry, are you? I still want to talk to you. I’m sure your daughter feels the same, too. Even for a minute is fine, just… just stay.”
Happiness, one that you brought to him, was the perfect shade to color his face. Being so needed by you, so wanted… You were his motivation to fight and survive. He wanted to memorize your face, to engrave it into his mind so that he could hold onto it, even in the midst of battle. “Of course, baby.”
You dwelled in another string of conversation, something light to pacify your mind. You couldn’t help but stare a little as he spoke, adoring how his hair framed his face so perfectly. He looked exceptionally handsome standing before you, causing you to wonder if it was because your heart was already yearning so terribly for him, knowing you’d be deprived of his touch for days after.
The baby in your arms looked up at her father, her hand reaching forward to touch him, her twin-tails swaying in the air with every movement. “Papa…”
Jinwoo bent his head low to meet her at her eye level, smiling when she splayed her hand on his cheek. “Yes, my darling?”
“Shaef…” She cooed, still having trouble pronouncing her words clearly. “Papa, shaef…”
Your lips curved up in a downhearted smile. “She wants you to be safe. Seems like she’s worried about you, too.”
You could see his emotions swirling in his eyes, how touched he was, how much it pained him to tear himself away from his little family, but it was a mission he needed to do. A mission that only he could do. He collected himself before more pieces of his heart broke, rubbing her head so affectionately. “I will be, Sweetheart. Daddy will be just fine. There’s no need to worry about me. Daddy’s stronger than anyone else.”
Your daughter tried to imitate the word ‘strong’ in response, an act so adorable that it stole a peal of laughter from both of you. “That’s right, Sweetie,” he crooned. “And you will be as strong as me, too, one day, but for now, I’ll have Beru watching over you at all times, okay? He’s tougher than any S-rank hunter here. He can protect you from anything.”
She blinked her doe eyes, patting his father’s cheek. “Boo… Bewu… Boo…”
Jinwoo sewed his brows in confusion. “What?”
You tittered. “She’s asking you if Beru could protect her from ghosts, too. Remember last Halloween when we bought her the storybook with the little white ghost? She’s talking about that one.”
“Oh, yeah,” he recalled the memory with delight. “You’re scared of the little ghost, baby?”
“Boo! Boo!”
“I see,” he chuckled lightly at her reaction. “Well, yes, Beru can certainly protect you from that, too. Just give me a second, all right?”
Your husband straightened himself, his eyes emitting an ominous glow, a pair of brilliant amethyst gleaming underneath the orange tinge of the setting sun. No matter how often you’d seen it, it still sent shivers down your spine.
“Come forth.”
A shadow soldier, a huge, humanoid ant with a light purple glow, neon eyes, and smoky wings, was born out of his spell, his body manifesting out of thin air. Beru, he was called, a name Jinwoo had bestowed upon him after he resurrected him during the deadly raid on Jeju island.
The warrior kneeled before his summoner at once, bending his head low. “My liege.”
“Take care of my wife and baby while I’m away. Should any harm come to them…” It shimmered brighter, the eerie glow inside his eyes, carrying the horror of death itself. His voice vibrated dangerously, pressure in each word. “You know what I’ll do to you, right?”
The shadow, one of the strongest generals in his army, gulped in fear. “Y-yes, my liege.”
“Don’t be too harsh on him, Jin,” you scold your husband, rubbing his arm. “He’s doing us a favor.” You greeted the soldier with a warm smile. “I’ll be in your care again, Beru.”
“It is an honor, milady.” Beru placed his hand over his chest, his claws long enough to graze his own shoulder as he inclined his body forward. “I swear upon my life that I will do whatever it takes to protect you, even if it means my bones will shatter to dust.”
Jinwoo visibly rolled his eyes at his dramatic act. “See, this is exactly why I should be a little strict with him. You’re spoiling him too much.”
“I think he deserves it. He’s been an excellent babysitter to us. And he cleans up the house better than you do. He just talks a bit funny, that’s all.”
“Oh, Queen Consort,” Beru nearly sobbed, the black smoke around him trembled. “Your praise is too much for my humble self to accept. How can I, Beru, your most loyal servant, repay you for such kindness?”
“Stopping yourself from watching all those historical dramas would be a start,” your husband muttered.
“Shush, he can watch whatever he wants,” you lightly chastised him again, to which Jinwoo sighed in defeat. “Though I would’ve liked it better if you could just address me normally, Beru. Calling me the… Queen Consort is kind of embarrassing.”
Beru performed his respect with an exaggerated bow. “I will call you whatever title you see fit, milady. Please. Tell me. How should I refer to you, O my Gracious One?”
You cringed at the title. “My name?”
Horror fell upon his face as soon as the words reached his ears. “I-I cannot do that, milady! I will never be so disrespectful as to call you merely by your name. You are the Queen of The Shadow Realm. The Wife of Death. The Worthy Bearer of my King’s Seeds—”
“‘Milady’ then!” You exclaimed with haste, face aflame. “M-Milady is fine, just—never call me that.”
Jinwoo bit his lip, trying to bite back his laughter. “The last one has a nice ring to it.”
“Oh, be quiet.”
In the hilarity of the moment, your baby suddenly launched her hands in the air, her feet kicking around in excitement. “Bewu! Bewu!”
“Aaw, look at her, Jinwoo,” your mouth broke into a wide grin as you struggled to keep her in your arms. “She’s so happy to see him.”
“L-little monarch,” Beru, without a doubt, began to cry, touched by the baby’s attachment to him. “It is a pleasure to see you again, Princess. May—may I carry her in my arms, milady?”
“Sure.” You closed the distance, gently handing her over to him. “Watch your claws.”
“Of course, milady.” The soldier wept at their reunion, tears streaming down his armor-like skin. Your baby tugged onto one of his antennae, using it as her personal rattle toy, giggling as she did it. You and your husband smiled; your hearts thawed at the sight.
Jinwoo, acting aloof as always, stuffed his hands inside his coat pockets, huffing out, “How is she not terrified of him but gets scared of a drawing? That little ghost was cute and Beru is like… that.”
“I take pride in my appearance, my liege. Nothing can penetrate my skin, not even the teeth of a mighty beast.” Under Jinwoo’s flat stare, Beru cowered. “N-nothing except your daggers, my liege.”
Your body shook a little with mirth as you replied, “Babies don’t see things the way we do, darling. Maybe she thinks Beru is cute.”
He hummed before he leaned closer to you. “And who do you think is cute?” A little smirk embellished his lips, his voice silky-smooth.
Understanding what lies behind his words, you slid a hand up his chest, an inkling of seduction in your smile. “I think you already know the answer to that.”
“Hmm, I’m not sure I do,” he teased back, loving the little game you played. “Care to enlighten me?”
Your hand rested on his shoulder before you guided him down to bring his ear close to your lips. You let your mouth caress his lobe, just a little, just enough to drive him crazy, and with the most sultry, alluring voice you could muster, you whispered your answer, “Beru.”
Though he grunted in dissatisfaction, a faint blush still smeared his cheek. Feeling the softness of your lips upon his sensitive skin, even after years of marriage, still did something to him. “You’re such a tease, you know that?”
“What?” You feigned innocence. “I really think he’s cute.”
“Of course you do,” he scoffed, to which you giggled in response.
“Papa,” your daughter points her finger at him, stealing his attention once more. “Papa, stay!”
“Does she think I’m a dog?” Jinwoo uttered before a chuckle followed. Shortening the small distance between them, he nuzzled his nose against her tiny palm, his usually stern eyes turning softer than the first snow of December. “You know how much I’d love to stay with you, baby girl, but I can’t. Daddy needs to go and save the world from the big, scary monsters out there so they won’t come and steal your little nose.” He pinched her pointy nose lightly, making her giggle with it. “But I will miss you. I will miss you so much, kiddo. So, be a good girl and wait for my return, okay? Daddy will be back before you know it.”
“Stay!” She insisted still, nearly launching herself forward in her vehement protest. “Stay, Papa, stay!”
“All right, all right, come here.” Your husband stole his daughter back from the shadow’s embrace, carrying her with ease in one arm despite her growing weight. “Let’s talk about it like adults, shall we?”
Life had passed by so quickly, faster than your brain could retain the memories, but you could still recall the first day you saw him holding your baby in his arms just like this. His expression back then was a mixture of excitement, the fear of the unknown, but above all, the love he was so eager to give. His hair was disheveled, his smile weary, and black circles stained his fair skin from all the sleepless hours he’d spent waiting beside your bed, praying for the Gods to ease your pain. He shed plenty of tears on the morning you finally opened your lids, thinking that it would take you forever to wake up, just like his mother once did. Perhaps even worse. With his sharp senses, he could tell just how much yours were fading away, and it frightened him more than the time he dealt with the giants in Cartenon Temple, so much that his fingers shook as they held yours tightly in the middle of his prayer.
It wasn’t an easy process bringing your little bundle of joy into the world—a life-threatening situation, all because she inherited just a hint of Jinwoo’s immense power. You suffered terribly during your pregnancy days, even more so when you were closer to the due date. Your daughter was so close to tearing open your womb and leaving you to bleed to death on your bed before the doctors took you away just in time to perform the surgery. Jinwoo had witnessed everything from behind the glass doors, feeling so powerless, useless, and loathing himself for it. His dose of the Elixir of Life had run out a while ago, and mere potions would never be enough to heal the internal wounds your daughter had caused you. Beru’s healing magic could only bring a little peace to your sleep, but it could not touch the root of your agony. Without any of these miracles, there was nothing Jinwoo could do but hold your hand and wish he could trade his life with yours. It brought you immense joy to see how everything worked out wonderfully in the end.
Gratitude washed over you as you took in the sight of your husband trying his best to keep up with your daughter’s babbles. “Slow down, love. Daddy can’t understand you.”
“She said you looked very magnificent today, my liege,” Beru attempted to interpret. “Very dandy. Truly, the living proof of how a man’s beauty could rival the heavens’—”
“No, she did not say that. And don’t say dandy.” Jinwoo cut him off with an exasperated sigh before he placed his focus back on her. “That’s quite a compelling argument you have there, Sweetie. Is that all, or should I give you some time to vent a bit more?” She answered with two pats on his nose. “You’ve said everything, huh? Right, okay. Hmm… That is certainly a very, very concerning problem. I wonder what we should do about it…” He pretended to think, tapping his chin. “Oh, I know. Why don’t you and I make a little promise? Here.” He held his fifth finger in the air, dragging it closer to her face. “Grab my pinky.” The baby blinked cutely in return, staring at it almost with wonder. It took her all of her tiny fingers to surround his own completely, and like how every baby behaved, she instinctively brought it to her mouth. “No, no, no, honey,” Jinwoo chuckled. “You don’t eat this one, okay? We’re making a promise. A pinky promise, the most special one of all. Are you ready?”
“Weady!”
“That’s the spirit, Sweetheart. All right, here we go.” He shook their fingers together. “Daddy promise that I will come home soon, and once I do, I’ll tell you all about the amazing adventure I had when I was away. All about the bears, and the dragons, everything. How about that, love? Sounds good?”
Though you doubted she understood everything, she mimicked him by saying, “Good!”
He laughed softly. “Okay. Now, it’s your turn, Princess.” Jinwoo switched his voice, turning it a pitch higher. “I promise I will be good to Mommy when Daddy is away. And I promise I will kick Beru in the face if he ends up watching TV again instead of looking after me.”
“My liege…” The shadow called out dejectedly. “Do you really think I would do such a thing to your precious one?”
“No, I don’t,” Jinwoo tossed him a smile, one that was so genuinely warm, almost affectionate, even. “I know you’ll take care of my family as best as you can. That’s why I trust you, Beru. I’m counting on you.”
It didn’t take long for the soldier to crumble to his feet, bawling. “Y-your kind words have touched me so deeply, my king!”
No one is immune to his charm, you thought, almost rolling your eyes. Though you couldn’t really chaff about it as you fell victim to his charm, too. “Honey, don’t forget. She’ll turn two next Monday. Will you be home by then?”
“Of course,” Jinwoo said, rubbing the tip of his nose to his daughter’s, making her giggle with it. “Clearing an S-rank gate shouldn’t take more than two days, even by myself. The problem is that I have plenty of meetings with the higher-ups after that. It’s a pain. I wish I could just skip them all together, but… Well, if I run out of time, I can use Shadow Exchange to return home.”
You scrunched up your nose. “And ditch your meetings just like that? Wouldn’t that cause more trouble?”
“Yeah, Jinho would probably kill me for it,” he smirked, expressing barely any remorse. “But he’ll understand. He knows that family always comes first to me. I wouldn’t want to miss my baby’s birthday.” He squeezed the round flesh of her cheek between two fingers, smiling fondly with a glint of heartbreak in his eyes. “Daddy’s been so busy with all the raids that he hasn’t noticed how fast his baby girl is growing.” He sighed in regret, stroking her locks. “I wish time could move slower. I want you to stay like this forever. So tiny and adorable, looking so pretty with your mother’s smile.”
“I don’t know, honey. I think she looks more like you than me.”
“I think she’s the perfect combination of us, and I love that.” He gathered both of you close, hugging you at the same time, his lips caressing your hairline as he spoke. “I can’t believe you and I could make something so pretty. I thank the Gods every day for that. For this little family I have right here.”
You could feel the rapid beating of your heart as you buried your face into his chest. His scent was heavenly. Comforting. Masculine and attractive. When he let go, he took a fraction of your heart with him.
“Daddy will bring you lots and lots of gifts, okay?” He pecked his daughter’s head. “Pretty things for you, and,” his gaze flew back to you, softening at the view. “Something sweet for your mother.”
You melted into a smile. “Just come home to me in one piece. That’s all I ask.”
He nodded, an unspoken promise that he’d keep close to his heart as he viciously took the life of another. “I better go,” he said, carefully handing his baby over to Beru, who clutched onto her so endearingly. “Jinho is waiting for me at the office.”
“Wait, I thought you were heading straight to the airport.”
“No, I need to drop by for a minute to grab some paperwork. I’m also leaving my car there, so.”
“Why don’t you just summon Kaisel?”
“I think it’s better for me to lay low for a bit. I don’t want to end up on the news again. Not everyone is used to seeing a flying beast in the sky, you see. But it’s fine. Jinho will drive me to the airport later.”
“You treating the son of a billionaire as your own Uber driver is still hilarious to me,” you simper.
A wave of his deep chuckle mixed in with yours. “He’s just being nice.”
“Can’t you, at least, sit on the front? I feel sorry for him.”
“But I like sitting in the backseat,” he said, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand, somewhat suggestive. “It reminds me of… the fun we’ve had together.”
Though heat crept up fast onto your cheeks, you narrowed your eyes at him. “If Jinho finds out we did that in his car, he’d be livid.”
“Then, we’ll just have to make sure he doesn’t,” he answered with a sly smirk. “About that last time and… Well, the future ones.”
“Do it in our car next time.”
“Oh, so there will be future occasions, huh? Noted.” His thin lips twisted in a devilish grin, pleased by the thought, saying it so shamelessly even with Beru bearing witness to the conversation. “Another reason for me to come back, then. Faster.”
You turned flustered, shaking your head in disbelief despite your chest tightening in anticipation of passionate, spontaneous, breathless romance in the middle of nowhere, your body pressed against the leather seats, your breaths fogging the windows. “I-I take back what I said.”
“No takebacks, Sweetheart. You know I don’t like that.”
He spoke his last sentence almost in a husky, erotic whisper, reminding you of all the times in bed when you didn’t… behave properly. “Jinwoo, you said you didn’t want to be on the news. If we get caught—”
“For this one…” He sneaked an arm around your waist, pulling you closer toward him. His lips grazed your ear, teasing and seductive, almost the perfect imitation of how you did it to him before. “I’ll be very, very careful. Don’t want the world to see just how beautiful my wife looks under the moonlight, after all.”
You could already tell that his tantalizing smile would linger for hours in your memory, even long after he departed. You cleared your throat, regaining your composure. “I-is Jinho coming with you?”
He found hilarity in the way you swerved the conversation, but he made no comment on it. “No. He wants to, but I won’t let him. It’s too dangerous. I sensed something different with this one, something similar to that eerie feeling when I entered the red gate. It’s better if I go alone. I don’t want to risk anyone’s life by coming with me.”
But you’ll… risk your own life for it… The anchor in your chest returned, weighing you down harder than before. You were careful not to let your tongue form your concern into words, but Jinwoo, as always, was observant, attentive to the slightest change in your expression.
“Hey.” He trapped your chin between his fingers, tilting it up, locking your gazes together. “It’s dangerous for Jinho, but not me. I’ll be fine, trust me.”
“I know you will,” you murmured, more for your own ears to hear.
Catching Beru’s soft hum, you glanced to your side. The shadow soldier rocked your baby in his arms, swaying her from side to side, cradling her close as her lids began to grow heavy. “She must have been exhausted after playing all day,” you pondered aloud. Intertwining your fingers with his, you leaned against his shoulder, your sigh heavy as you whispered, “It’s nice to have Beru here with us, but… It also reminds me that you won’t be around. I’ll miss you, probably more than I ever did. I miss you terribly even now.”
For a moment, Jinwoo fell mute, doing nothing but curling his fingers around yours a little tighter. Then, with his jaws tightened, he released his command.
“Beru, take my daughter inside. I need to be with my wife. Alone.” ***
Next Chapter
Here's an audio track so you can imagine just how soft and wonderful husband!jinwoo sounds 😁
Beru the babysitter 😭
#sung jinwoo#sung jin woo#solo leveling#jinwoo x reader#sung jinwoo x reader#jinwoo sung x reader#solo leveling x reader#jinwoo smut#jinwoo fluff#jinwoo#solo leveling smut#sung jinwoo smut#sung jin woo x reader#kana.fics#fics.comehometome
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derision as prelude to desire | Spencer Reid
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Waldorf!Reader
Category: smut 18+ MDNI, fluff if you squint
Summary: Spencer Reid’s new coworker is mean but one night doing overtime together leads to the two of them bonding.
Content: glasses!Spencer, workplace rivals if you squint, Spencer Reid vs technology, reader is kind of mean and based on Blair Waldorf (in background, looks, and personality), Spencer is petty, his mind is in the GUTTER, use of eye drops, making out, sub!Spencer, fingering, oral (male receiving), whining and begging glasses!Spencer. Let’s pretend the BAU doesn’t have any CCTV cameras for this one m’kay thanks
Word count: 3.6k
A/N: This is an ITCH in my brain, like I’ve been thinking about a Spencer Reid x Blair Waldorf crackship since August last year it’s actually concerning. One of my favorite ship dynamics is loser boy x popular girl, so it makes sense. Still in second person to make it immersive. This isn’t a crossover, so there will be no spoilers for Gossip Girl. The reader's personality, looks and background are just based on Blair. Let me know if you want to read more of this dynamic because I have so many ideas for it oh my god. I hope you enjoy it!
Spencer Reid often muses on the series of events that had brought you from the streets of the Upper East Side to work in Quantico, Virginia. It would be easy to ask, of course, or even have Penelope do a quick background check on you, but he’s made a game of it instead, piecing together what he knows of your history, filling in the blanks of what would have gone wrong, what decisions you would have taken, in order to leave the privileged life you led and enter public service.
As far as he had been concerned, you don’t belong anywhere near the FBI, let alone the BAU. Spoiled, rich, with a mean streak he is all too familiar with from his time in school.
He had been so sure you wouldn’t fit in when you first joined the team. You had been, and continue to be, perfectly made, every single hair shiny and curled just so, heels always so shiny and matching whatever designer bag you have slung over your shoulder. Everything about you screams high maintenance, and his profiler instincts point to several things: uncooperative, wants everything handed to you, ditzy.
But then you had shown your cards, had proved his assessment so wrong and he could never forgive you for the sting of that defeat.
It doesn’t help that you seem to enjoy riling him up as well. Every case is an opportunity to one up him, an attempt to claim his spot and it’s unfair. You already have everything, yet you still refuse to yield the title of team genius to him, the one thing he can cling to, the thing he knows is his.
He is still glowering today, four months into your employment, passive aggressively hitting the keys on his keyboard. He’s a slow typist, and he’d agreed to write Morgan’s reports for him this week, a favor between friends he’s now beginning to regret. You are the only one keeping him company. The rest of the team has already left hours ago, but you’re typing away at your desk, fingers flying through the keyboard without even a glance. His own skills seem laughable in comparison, going at the keys one by one, with the speed of an old grandparent squinting over a typewriter instead of a man in his twenties.
“Take a picture, Reid, it’ll last longer.”
He blinks, forcing his eyes back to the monitor. “You’re so original.” he mutters, pushing his glasses up to nestle on top of his head. He rubs his eyes, already despising the glare of the screen.
“Aw, what, the genius can’t handle a little blue light?”
He doesn’t bother with a response, blinking at the screen instead. The sooner he can get this done, the sooner he can leave. Sounds of tapping keys fill the air again, but he stops after a few moments again, rubbing at his eyes. He hears a sigh, and then your voice again, haughty but somehow concerned.
“You’re not supposed to rub your eyes, it makes it worse.”
“I know,” he grumbles, “I don’t need you lecturing me about the importance of eye health.”
“It seems like you do, since you’re still doing it.” you reply derisively. He’d be rolling his eyes if he isn’t too busy rubbing them.
“Here,” you say, “Catch.”
Confused, he lifts his head, only to flinch as something hurls right at him. “What-” it hits his desk, then bounces off.
“Oh, look what you’ve done, genius.”
“You threw it at me.” his lips are pulled into a tight line of disapproval, “A head’s up would have been nice.”
“I did, genius, I said catch. You just have the reflexes of an eighty year old.” your voice is tinged with annoyance.
To his surprise, you’re up and walking to his desk, heels echoing in the empty bullpen. He watches as you gingerly kneel on the ground, bending down, and his eyes grow wide. The image of you bent down like this is surprisingly enticing, your skirt straining against the soft curve of your hips, hair falling down your shoulders like a curtain of the night sky. You’ve gotten close enough that he can smell your perfume, something citrusy and clean, and he subconsciously leans closer.
Mouth dry, he manages to croak out, “What are you doing?”
“Trying to find the damn eye drops.” you snap, an arm extending towards him and for a moment he holds his breath, waiting for contact. Instead, you grab something from the ground, “There it is.”
He watches as you straighten, lifting your torso upright, but still kneeling in front of him. An image flashes through his mind, your face between his thighs, those large eyes staring up at him, but he banishes it quickly lest his thoughts begin to stir his body.
“Here, these should help.” You say, finally standing back up and placing the tiny bottle on his desk. A filthy part of him wishes you’d get back on your knees. He catches the tilt of your head, the confusion in your eyes, “Reid. Are you still with me? Has your brain finally short circuited from all those statistics?”
Oh his brain is short circuiting, all right, just from a different cause.
“I’m - yeah.” he replies, and then he rattles off the first thought his frazzled mind could come up with, “Did you know some people have used eye drops as a method for murder? Not these ones, but there are specific brands that contain—”
“Tetrahydrozoline,” you finish for him, “Yeah, I know.”
He blinks. There you go again, proving your intellect, your value, somehow matching his even though he’s pretty sure you are no genius, not in the same way he is. Still, perhaps it’s the late night, or your offer of relief, but the sting of being bested doesn’t resonate tonight. A softer feeling unfurls in his chest, something warm and addictive, something like understanding. He smiles, “That’s right.”
You nod, curls spilling over your shoulders again, “Mhm. Well… These are for your eyes, I’m not trying to poison you.”
“Wouldn’t put it past you.”
A scoff, “Please, I’m not dumb enough to attempt murder in the office.”
His brows lift and he finds himself grinning, “So you’ve thought about it?”
“I will neither deny nor confirm.” you’re smiling now too, and he lets his eyes roam over the pretty lines of your face, memorizing how lovely you look in this moment, guards lowered and smiling at him with ease. He thinks he sees something flash in those pretty eyes of yours but he’s not sure. Reading people has never been his strong suit, regardless of his profession.
“Come on, I’ll help you.” you gesture at his glasses, and he immediately obeys, pushing it back up to nestle on his hair. He holds his breath as you come closer, bites his lips when your hand comes to his chin. It’s soft, unbelievably gentle, and you tilt his head back. From this angle, he can see the way your lashes curl, the soft hint of shimmer swept across your lids. Eyeshadow, he remembers from what Penelope and JJ have told him, and it highlights the shape of your eyes, making them appear brighter.
He blinks as coolness hits his eye, and then you’re tilting his head to the other side, and he’s trying not to panic, trying not to be a creep, but in reality, he hasn’t been this close, this intimate to a woman in so long that it’s messing up his ability to inhale, to think, to function. Your hair flutters gently around his face, and the scent of citrus is stronger now, heady, and he feels so light headed he’s afraid he’ll faint.
The same coolness hits the other eye, and before you can pull away, before he can think it through, he’s curling his own hand over your wrist. He lifts it up, pressing a kiss to the inside of your palm, admonishing any thoughts of germs and bacteria, and instead relishing at the tender flesh beneath his lips. He kisses your palm again, lips gently tracing the lines, before moving down to the inside of your wrist, before pausing.
He dares to peer up, waiting for a reprimand, a cutting sentence that would have him lashing back at you, but there’s none. There it is again, the flicker in your eyes, and now he finally knows the word to attach to it: desire.
He kisses the inside of your wrist again, and feels you pulse fluttering beneath his lips. Fast, to his surprise, almost matching the quick succession of thudding in his chest.
“Reid,” you whisper, and he waits again, allows you time to pull away. You don’t, but he’s apprehensive now, afraid he’s crossed a boundary. He definitely has, but he would do it again if you express the desire to do so, to tumble into whatever this is with him. He just needs confirmation, one verbal acknowledgement that you want this too, because he doesn’t trust his ability to read you yet, not when he’s spent so much time despising you.
But you’re just looking at him, and the embarrassment is almost painful. His cheeks heat up, and he drops your hand.
“I’m sorry.” he murmurs, sinking back on his seat. He’s about to turn to his monitor, intent to forget about this, forget everything even though his memory would make that impossible, but he finds his face being tilted up again, cradled between impossibly soft hands, and then there’s lips against his own, your lips, oh god you are kissing him.
He wraps his arms around your waist, following the movement of your mouth to the best of his limited ability. Your teeth dig into his bottom lip and he lets out an involuntary whimper, his body jerking at the sting. He feels you smiling against his mouth, cocky even in the midst of a kiss, in the midst of the most heated kiss he’s had since - since - he can’t even remember her, the brief dalliance he had with an actress once upon a time, because all he can think of is your mouth, and your hands, nails scratching at his scalp, and every single thought is expelled from his mind when you climb on his lap.
“God,” he moans in between kisses, his breaths ragged, but he would gladly drown in you before stopping.
“Not god,” you correct him and nip at his lower lip with more force this time.
“Mhm.” he whines, and kisses you again, shifting so you’re more comfortable on his lap. He wonders if the chair is creaking from your combined weight, but then you’re grinding directly on his cock and he’s lost in a haze of white hot pleasure.
Apparently, Spencer Reid cannot multitask, because his lips fall slack as you grind against his hardening cock. Your laughter tinkles in his ear, before your mouth latches on his jaw, down his neck, open and wet and sticky. He knows you said you aren’t god, and he’s never been religious, but he swears this must be heaven. Fitting too, in the same way he’s never thought he’d reach some place he doesn’t even believe in, he’s also never thought he would have you—beautiful, infuriating, untouchable you—grinding on his lap with a desperation that borders frenzy.
Recognizing that your need burns you just as his is making him reckless, he manages to whisper, “Tell me— tell me what to do. How do I make you feel good?”
You giggle, taking one of his hands away from your waist and leading it under your skirt. The fabric has bunched up over your thighs, and he grips the smooth flesh greedily. But you have other ideas, and he’s eager to learn, so he lets you move his hand higher, until the tips of his fingers brush against moist fabric.
His mouth goes dry. You’ve soaked through your panties.
“Like this?” he dips his fingers past the lace, his mouth falling open at the slick that’s gathered at your core. You have your face buried at his neck, lips and tongue still assaulting the tender skin there, but he feels you nod, feels the shudder that runs through you, and he takes those as a good sign. His touch is exploratory, gentle, fueled by an intoxication over the fact that you’re here and you’re enjoying it, you’re making those sounds for him.
He’s awestruck rather than cocky, and when he slides his fingers into your pussy, he’s immediately trying to figure out a rhythm that would draw out those pretty noises from your lips. When he finds it, he sticks to it, greedily drinking in your moans, no matter how muffled they are against his neck.
There’s a sense of degeneracy to this whole thing. Fingering his coworker in the office, right there on his desk, he could get fired should this get out, they both could. Still, he’s never truly had anyone want him so unabashedly and he simply cannot stop. You had been the one to kiss him, after all, the lines in the sand had been completely trampled by the time you had climbed on his lap.
“You feel so good,” you whisper, and he feels you move, riding his hand shamelessly, and he has to bite your shoulder to keep himself from whining again. The sight alone nearly undoes him, and you’ve barely done anything. He’s been actively providing you with stimulation this whole time, fucking you with his fingers relentlessly, and somehow, he wouldn’t change a single thing.
“Yeah?” he asks, pupils blown wide, wanting, needing the assurance that he’s doing good, he’s making you feel good.
“Yes, oh fuck, yes!” your voice grows sharper as he curls his fingers with every thrust. After a few moments of fumbling with your panties, his thumb presses against your clit and he’s rewarded by another groan from you.
He draws figure eights against your slick core, finding a rhythm that has you tugging at his hair wildly, and he’s whispering into your ear, pleading, “That’s it, please come for me, please, let me see how good you feel, please, please—”
“Spencer!” you groan, and then you’re shuddering in his lap, and his fingers down to his knuckles are wet with your slick.
He grins, helping you through your orgasm, pressing kisses to your hair, the FBI issued office chair creaking so much he’s afraid the two of you would break it if you don’t stop. The image is hilarious in its absurdity, making his grin widen, and you must have taken it for arrogance because he feels a slight smack on his shoulder.
“Don’t get cocky.” you mutter.
He takes you in, the flushed cheeks and hazy eyes, mascara now smudged along your lash lines, and he’s reverential instead of arrogant, grateful that he has brought someone so stunning and capable to the throes of pleasure, has taken you apart so much you’ve ruined your normally perfect facade.
“You’re beautiful.” he tells you, his own eyes glistening with an unfocused daze. You roll your eyes and shake your head, and he’s seized with a desire to keep you hear and bury his fingers inside you over and over again until you believe him.
“Your turn.” You chuckle, hands unwinding from his neck and travelling down the length of his abdomen, coming to the buckle on his belt.
“Wait, I—uh,” he turns beet red once again, clearing his throat, “Are you on the pill? I don’t have—”
You tilt your head, as if the idea of a man walking around without a condom is foreign. Perhaps it is, but Spencer simply never assumed he would have any use for it. He turns away, teeth worrying his lower lip, but you pull his face to you again.
“I have hands.” you say as you resume undoing his pants. You shift, then slink away from him, and he whines at the loss of your warmth, but he sees you on your knees once again, and this time it’s not just his brain making up lewd, inappropriate thoughts, “And a mouth.”
“Y-you really don’t have to.”
“I know,” you grin, pretty as the devil and twice as tempting, and as your hands wrap around his engorged length, thumb circling at the tip, “But how can I not, when you’re this pretty?”
He blacks out, he swears he does, there’s no way this isn’t a perverted dream, no way that you’re actually stroking up and down his throbbing cock. Somehow he comes to, only to feel a warmth, a wetness, enveloping the swollen tip, and his hips buck up instinctively. He whines when your hands push at his thighs, holding him in place.
“Please,” he gasps, babbles, really, “Please, oh god, that feels so good.”
You take him further down and he throws his head back so violently the glasses slip past his ears and clatter onto the floor. He feels your laughter vibrating against his cock and it almost has him keening. He whines, wriggles against your hold with no real desire to break free. He finds that likes the force of your hands on him, nails leaving harsh indents on his flesh as he struggles. The pain is delicious, heightening his already frazzled senses.
You bob your head up and down, your hair swaying gently, and he manages to will his hands to move, gathering the soft tresses in his hand so they won’t impede your movement. Your eyes flicker up, meet his own, and he swears there’s a thank you in the glint of them. He cannot do anything else.
Slack jawed, he watches you hollow your cheeks, saliva dripping down the sides of your mouth as you give him the best head he’s ever experienced. Never mind that it’s his first one, and that he doesn’t have a point of comparison. He’s convinced this is the best, you are the best, and he’s never been more thankful for his eidetic memory until this night, knowing that he cannot, will never, ever forget the way you look as you knelt down and sucked his cock like you were being paid to do it.
“God, you’re so pretty, oh my god, yes, just like that, please, please, yes.” he’s aware that he’s whining, and there’s an amused twinkle in your eye that tells him he would never hear the end of this after.
He knows you well enough to know that you would dangle this over his head any chance you get, that you aren’t above playing dirty. Instead of dread, it makes his stomach roil with another gush of desire, and he knows that that is even more concerning than whatever you were going to do.
(It never occurs to him to do the same, that he could tease you back and point out that he has had you on your knees and sucking on his cock like you were made for it simply because his brain cannot fathom ever associating the sight of you kneeling before him as something to be ashamed of.)
He’s drawn from his thoughts as he feels your hands cupping his balls, stimulating an entirely new area that has him thrusting up. He feels his cock brush against the back of your throat, and he pulls back immediately, eyes wide with worry as you gag around his length.
“Oh god, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, baby you can stop if—”
But you do it again, soldiering past your gag reflex and taking him all the way, and he can hear someone saying oh fuck oh fuck I’m cumming agh, please, I’m cumming, and he thinks its his own voice but he’s unsure. His eyes are squeezed shut, colors exploding behind his lids as he feels your tongue swirling over and over his sensitive cock, before the cool air surrounds it, telling him you’ve stopped completely.
When he opens his eyes, you have your head on his thigh, cheek pressed against the fabric, a lazy smile on your ruined lips.
“God,” he whispers, reaching for you, wanting you close, “That was—wow, you—come here, please.”
He watches as a flicker of surprise flits over your face, before you mask it with a giggle, “Good?” you murmur, tucking his soft cock into his pants before climbing on his lap again.
“Incredible.” He holds you tight, your slick only half dry on his fingers, the taste of him still on your tongue, “You’re incredible.”
You’re quiet, contemplative, and he presses a kiss to your neck, wanting to bring you out of whatever funk you’ve gone into, “Hey, what is it?” He’s almost terrified of the answer, worried you would pull away and leave him cold.
“I just didn’t think you’d be a cuddler.” you reply, eventually sinking into his arms. Your voice is soft when you say, “Most men aren’t.”
The thought of her having experiences doesn’t bother him; it’s the fact that they callously left her after that makes him tighten his hold on her. “I’m sorry.”
“For the entirety of shitty men? You’d need more apologies than that,” you chuckle, fingers absently curling into his hair, “But thank you. This is— this is nice.”
“It is,” Spencer nods, leaning into your touch, eyes shut.
“You lost your glasses.”
“I did.”
Your laughter fills the air, “Hey, are you sleepy? You still have Morgan’s reports to finish.”
His eyes flutter open, a sheepish smile on his lips, “Why’d you have to remind me?”
“Because the sooner you finish it, the sooner we can do this again.”
Spencer laughs, kissing your shoulder as he relents, “All right, all right.” That’s more than enough incentive to brave staring at the monitor again.
#spencer reid x reader smut#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x oc#dr spencer reid fan fic#spencer reid fan fiction#spencer reid smut#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds#criminal minds smut#matthew gray gubler smut#mgg#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#Waldorf!Reader#erika after midnight
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Hi love! For your tortured poets department, can I request endgame from the reputation album, lando being the driver please please 🙏

END GAME | Lando Norris
Lando Norris x Friend with benefits Piastri!Reader
SUMMARY: You were used to have random hookups just for fun, including with Lando Norris himself. It's not until he decides to lock both of you up on his driver room and talk about your weird relationship that you don't realize that, deep down, you're willing to settle down your mind and start a dating him ↳ REQUESTED: Yes! Thanks for requesting and hope you like it 💖 Part of REPUTATION in MY TORTURED DRIVERS DEPARTMENT
WORD COUNT: 2745
WARNINGS: Slightly +18 at the end (sorry for leaving it there ☺️), mentions of friends with benefits, spelling with multiple people, angst, curse words
VEE'S NOTES: Haven't written Lando in a very, very long time, so hope you like this one! University and my mental health are killing me but you know what? Writing is what keeps me going (and specially your comments have been a boost of serotonin for me lately). Also... the 2k special is already living rent free in my mind and I can't wait to achieve the goal to post it 😭 I wanna give spoilers now so... you know 🤓 ↳ TALK TO ME / REQUESTS! | FORMULA 1 MASTERLIST

© VETTELSVEE (2025). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!

"You finally decided to show up at a race. I was starting to think you only liked having me naked in your bed behind your brother’s back."
You smiled at the screen, playing with your fingers as you thought how could you answer Lando. Your relationship was based purely on sex, moreover sexting, with barely any real conversations whenever you met, moans and orgasms speaking for you both instead.
You had never felt the need to go beyond that, to involve feelings in your relationship, or at least that’s what you had made clear to Lando before sleeping with him the very first time. You also let him know that, besides him, there were other guys with whom you had no commitments whatsoever.
However, it was with Lando that you spent most of your time. The others were nothing more than a safe escape, an easy way out when the Brit wasn’t around.
"Be grateful that I even came," you finally replied. "And don’t flatter yourself. I came to see my brother, not to make you come before a race."
You hesitated, wondering if your reply was harsh enough to keep him from getting any ideas and, more importantly, to stop him from insisting on meeting up. You weren’t sure how, but you wanted to end that strange relationship before it spiraled out of control because, whether you wanted to admit it or not, you had started to feel something for him.
Yes, just a few weeks ago, you had one of your usual encounters with a friend of one of your best friends. But everything fell apart when, right before reaching your climax, you couldn’t help it: you moaned Lando’s name instead.
That was what made you question what exactly you felt for Norris and why the label of friends with benefits seemed to be fading away.
"Don’t play dumb, Piastri. See you at the motorhome. You know exactly where."
You huffed. Of course, you knew exactly where you’d be meeting. After all, ever since your brother became a Formula 1 driver, you had visited his teammate’s personal room more than Oscar’s.
With a sigh, making sure neither your mother nor your sisters were nearby, you got up, grabbed the plastic cup that still had a bit of coffee left, and walked with as much determination as you could muster toward McLaren’s motorhome, finishing your drink along the way.
As you walked, mentally preparing a script in case things got tense with Lando, you greeted the people you knew, or at least those who knew you as Y/N Piastri. Lewis was genuinely happy to see you and even stopped to chat, but you excused yourself, saying you had already made plans. Fernando gave you a knowing look, as if trying to figure out what exactly you were about to do with a certain driver.
Even your brother crossed paths with you at the entrance to McLaren’s motorhome. You managed to lie to him, partially, saying Lando had asked you to take a few pictures of him before the race.
Oscar gave you a strange look, then rolled his eyes, offered a small smile and told you to enjoy whatever it was you both were about to do.
You said nothing, but you knew your twin brother well enough to realize he already had a pretty good idea of what you were up to with Norris. Not that you tried too hard to hide it.
When you reached Lando’s room, you didn’t even have to knock. The door opened instantly, revealing a slightly tired-looking Lando with a cup in his hand. His race suit was already on but zipped only to his waist, leaving the top half hanging loose. His team cap was still on, though it didn’t last long since he took it off and tossed it aside within seconds.
He grinned from ear to ear, like he had been waiting for you with far too much anticipation.
"Come in. Make yourself at home," he said with that mischievous tone you were so used to hearing, though something about it felt slightly different this time.
You walked inside without hesitation, crossing your arms and ignoring him, except for the occasional sideways glance to see if he would do or say something before you did. Unfortunately, he didn’t.
"If you wanted a quick fuck before the race you could’ve just said so, you know?"
"I don’t think today’s the best day to fuck you and let everyone hear," he replied. "At least, not yet. Today, we’re going to talk."
"We don’t talk, Lando," you shot back, feeling an internal alarm go off. "And when we do, it’s just to ask about the safe word of the day, what we want to do to each other, and how close we are to coming."
"Well, maybe it’s time we started talking, don’t you think so?"
His answer took you completely by surprise. Your gazes remained locked on each other, and you felt the atmosphere grow tense.
For the first time in a long while, there was no excuse you could use to avoid that conversation with Lando. Maybe the fact that you had been ignoring him for the past few weeks was enough to make him realize that there was a chance—however small—that things had changed between you two.
You took a deep breath, trying to calm the growing sense of unease settling in your chest. Lando kept looking at you with that same intensity he always did, except this time… it was different. It wasn’t the first time you found yourselves in a situation like this, where there were a thousand unsaid things hanging between you, waiting to be voiced. But it was the first time, at least on your part, where feelings were involved beyond pure physical desire.
"I don’t think there’s anything to talk about," you said as nonchalantly as possible, but your tense posture betrayed you.
Lando set his cup down on the table beside him. Then, he sat on the edge, crossing his arms again, and reached for your hands only for you to pull away and take a step back.
"I think you know exactly what we need to talk about," he replied calmly. His voice was lower than usual, and you felt the heat grow between your legs. You shook your head, feeling guilty and doing your best to push away that sudden, but familiar, awakening in your body.
"You’ve been avoiding me, Y/N. And don’t tell me you haven’t, because you were in Monaco and never called me to meet up… to see each other," he added, his voice laced with something unreadable. "In fact, we usually sext almost every day, and you didn’t even bother to tell me what new lingerie set you bought for when you came over."
"I didn’t tell you I was coming to Miami either."
Your reply, rather than making you sound indifferent, exposed you completely. Lando raised an eyebrow, as if he had caught you red-handed. That was when you realized you had seriously screwed up.
"I haven’t been avoiding you, Lando. I’ve just been busy," you insisted.
"Busy? You mean busy by ignoring me?" He scoffed, ironic. His expression turned much more serious now, and you started to worry about where this might lead. "Tell me the truth, Y/N. What’s going on? What’s happening with you?" he emphasized.
You averted your gaze, pretending to take interest in the room’s decoration, a room you already knew by heart. You knew you couldn’t keep dodging the topic, but you also had no idea how to confront it without changing everything you had so far. It was impossible to put into words what you felt for Lando, not when your relationship had always been purely physical. And especially not when there was a real chance you were just confused… and, well, you couldn’t forget the possibility that he might only see you as his hookup.
"Nothing’s wrong," you finally responded.
"I thought we were always honest with each other," Lando sighed, running a frustrated hand through his hair.
You felt your throat tighten. It was hard to breathe. You had been honest, at least when it came to the unrestricted desire between you, to touching each other without attachments, to seeking comfort in one another without questions that went beyond your wildest fantasies. You had avoided anything personal.
But now, you were slowly breaking the unspoken rules that had kept you in perfect balance until this moment.
"I’ve been busy, Lando, and the last thing I wanted was to deal with you, alright?" you insisted, trying to sound as convincing as possible. "Things should have stayed the way they were until, according to you, I started ignoring you."
"No, Y/N, things aren’t like that," the Brit denied, shaking his head. He stepped closer, cornering you against the wall. "If you don’t want to face something because you’re afraid of rejection, just tell me. But, for fuck’s sake, don’t act like I did something wrong, because you’re killing me."
"Lando…"
"Stop insisting that nothing is happening between us, when that’s exactly what makes me think the opposite."
His confession caught you completely off guard. His words—clear, direct, and without a hint of sarcasm, threw you off… especially because you knew he was right.
You felt the urge to run, to disappear, to pretend none of this had ever happened. Most of all, you wanted to deny yourself any romantic thought you had ever had about Oscar’s teammate.
When you lowered your gaze, Lando moved back slightly, giving you space and making sure he didn’t overwhelm you more than you already seemed to be. You sighed, trying to relax once again, but before you could say anything, he spoke first.
"Tell me nothing’s wrong between us, Y/N Piastri," he said softly. "If nothing has really changed, if everything is the same between us… dare to look at me in the eyes and say it."
Your chest tightened. You couldn’t run away, not when Lando had you emotionally cornered, teetering on the edge of an explosion. Your breathing was unsteady, heavy. Your mind screamed at you to find an excuse, anything that would let you stay true to yourself regardless of what happened next.
Lando waited, unmoving, his blue eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made you tremble for the first time in your life—without him even touching you. It was the first time he had shown himself to you like this: so vulnerable and yet so determined at the same time.
"Nothing is wrong between us, Lando Norris," you finally whispered, forcing the words out, ignoring both your heart and the boy standing in front of you.
"Say it again, but this time, look me in the eyes."
He didn’t move an inch. He knew you were lying; your posture gave you away—the way you avoided his gaze, the way your fingers toyed with the hem of your shirt and your accreditation pass…
You squeezed your eyes shut tightly. You had no choice… at least, not entirely.
Lifting your gaze, you met his blue eyes once again. Your lips parted slightly, ready to try and let out a lie convincing enough for both him and yourself.
But it was impossible. You couldn’t keep doing this, not when, deep down, and no matter how hard you tried to deny it, you felt something more than just pleasure for Lando Norris. The fear of rejection… it terrified you. The thought of him turning you away, of losing what you had with him, was unbearable.
"Lando…"
"You don’t have to say it if you’re not ready," he interrupted. "But please… stop pushing me away. Stop making this to us."
"It’s just…"
Nothing. No matter how much you tried to explain yourself, to find a logical enough reason for your sudden ghosting, you couldn’t.
"It’s just what, Y/N?" the Brit pressed. "Are you afraid to take a risk? To admit something because you’re scared of what might happen next? Because you don’t want to change the life you’ve had until now? Because you want to…?"
Lando forced himself to stop. He ran his hands through his hair, exasperated, turning his back to you. Guilt hit you immediately, your body trembling as the storm inside you began to break free. The driver rubbed his face, frustration radiating from him. This was exhausting him. You were exhausting him, to the point where he was starting to doubt his own feelings. Feelings that had started to grow the moment he realized it hurt when you ignored him, when you didn’t even send him a simple "Hey."
"I wish this were different, Y/N," he finally murmured, his voice thick with emotion as he turned to face you again. "I wish you didn’t make me feel like this. I wish I could just be content with what we had before and pretend none of this was happening…"
Your stomach twisted painfully. That was exactly what you had been thinking, the very reason you had pulled away from him and from whatever this was. You had ignored the fact that your feelings for Lando Norris had become something much stronger—maybe they had been there for far longer than you were willing to admit.
"Lando, listen" You tried to step closer, but he pulled away.
"No, Y/N, no," he said bitterly. "I tried convincing myself there was a reason you were ignoring me, acting like I was nothing to you, and then it hit me that I really want you as more than just someone to fuck."
"That…" you struggled to say, stepping toward him. This time, Lando didn’t stop you. The sincerity in your eyes, the way you looked both calm and nervous at the same time, made him realize he had to trust his instincts. And that was exactly what they were telling him.
"That’s what I wanted to tell you," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper, but Lando still heard you. "That’s why I kept you on standby for two weeks… I knew this would change everything, that you’d react badly, that we’d end up fighting, and I… I didn’t know how to face the possibility of you rejecting… this."
Lando stared at you in surprise before a sad smile crept onto his lips.
"Y/N… I’ve always been good at reading signals, but this has been driving me fucking crazy."
"And you think it’s not been making me feel the same?" you shot back, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders.
Lando stepped closer, taking your hands in his. You didn’t resist, feeling how the both of you tensed at the contact. His lips inched toward yours, and when they finally met, the kiss was so fierce, so full of passion, that you ended up straddling him on the couch, moving against him, desperate to feel him. Even though you both knew there was still a race in two hours.
"I don’t want to touch you like this, Y/N," Norris whispered against your ear as you left small bites along his neck. "Y/N, stop it babe…"
"I don’t wanna be just another ex-love to you, Lando…" you murmured between kisses, still searching for friction between your bodies.
"And I don’t wanna miss you like your other lovers do, babe…"
This time, Lando gripped your waist firmly, flipping you onto the couch beneath him. His eyes never left yours as he carefully lifted your shirt and started massaging your breasts over your bra.
"I wanna be your end game, Y/N," Lando breathed, unable to tear his gaze away from you.
Your breath came out in shallow pants, and you felt like you were teetering on the edge. Your hands gripped the unfastened gear around his waist, tugging lightly to keep him close.
"Then prove it."
"I have a race in two hours, love…" he murmured, his voice rough as he pressed his forehead to yours, his arousal growing.
"Then you better be quick," you teased, running your hands over his abs beneath the fireproof. "Especially if you don’t want Osc to hear us…"
"You’re gonna be the death of me one day, Y/N Piastri," Lando groaned as he trailed his fingers up your thighs, lowering himself before you. "Now, open your legs for me... You deserve a punishment after being such a bad, bad girl these past few days…"
#f1#formula 1#lando norris#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#formula 1 x female reader#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x yn#formula 1 smut#f1 smut#lando norris one shot#lando norris x yn#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris fanfic#lando norris smut#lando norris angst#lando norris fic#ln4 x reader#ln4 fanfic#f1 imagine#my tortured drivers department#reputation
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Wait until you like me again - 18+
See part 1 | Part 2 of We can't be friends (wait for your love) | See part 3
The decision to resign puts a lot of weight on your shoulders. A takedown gone wrong makes it the least of anyone's concerns, especially Spencer’s. You’re not willing to let him back in; it feels too little, too late.
Spencer Reid X Fem! Reader
DISCLAIMER This story is NSFW and contains graphic depictions. It is intended for mature audiences only, minors do not interact! You are responsible for the content you consume. Make sure to read all necessary warnings. Please remember this is a work of fiction; if you don’t like it, don’t read. Part 2 was highly requested and I’m sorry it’s taken so long to finish.
WARNING Panic attack mentioned, slight PTSD depictions, drugs (GHB), Case details (very poorly thought out). Violence: canon typical - strangulation, drugging, guns/gunshots. Proceed at your own risk.
Word count: 10.3K See notes at end for authors note & spoilers.
The most annoying part about making a decision in haste is the clarity of the situation when the dust settles. It’d taken Hotch just over two minutes to message you after you’d sent your email.
From: Boss Man 🕶 👔 My office, first thing tomorrow.
You didn’t take into account that you’d have to explain your sudden resignation to your unit chief, or that you’d need to think of a good enough goodbye to lessen the hurt of abandoning your friends. These are people you consider your found family; you’re leaving behind years worth of bonds with no proper warning or closure, in a measly few weeks. Your reasoning had to be good enough to convince them that this was for the best.
To convince you that this was for the best.
You’d spent the whole night in tears, racking your brain for an excuse, because ‘the person you care most about in this world and unrequited love of your life telling you that he didn’t want to see your face was a pathetic reason for discarding your life’s work. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t think of adequate justification. Even as the sun rose and you made your way through your pre-work routine, nothing came to mind.
“You can’t love me.”
Any time you tried to conjure up a defence your thoughts would wander back to Spencer. Too many words had been exchanged between you and your former best friend in the span of four months and not a single one of them properly explained why he was so butt-hurt. He loves you too much, but doesn’t want you to love him? That’s your understanding, at least.
“Please don’t come back here. It’s hard enough at work, I don’t want to see your face in my personal time too.”
Since you’d left his apartment the previous night, you’d been cycling through all the stages of grief in record time. Spencer once told you that people tend to remember more negative memories than positive. He was right. You couldn’t recall a lot of your happier memories with him. All you could think about was the two conversations where he’d hurt you in ways you never imagined he would.
You’re not sure exactly what part of you snapped at that moment, all you knew was that you were done making him the centre of your universe. Spencer Reid played no part in your decisions moving forward. He was not the reason for your departure with the BAU, a lie you made sure to relay to Hotch during your meeting with him.
“I’m just surprised, that’s all. Where is this even coming from?” He inquired from across you, hands folded neatly against his desk.
“I just think it’s time for me to try new things, you know?” It was a pathetic excuse, but less pathetic than the actual reasoning.
“I try not to interfere with the personal lives of the team, but this is just so…sudden. I have to wonder if this has to do with Spencer?”
“This has nothing to do with him.” You go out of your way to avoid saying his name, suspecting you might taste poison.
Hotch’s brow raises, as if his brain has been alerted to key information, head marginally tilting to the side like it does when he catches a lie. He doesn’t say anything, eyes narrowing in on you in stoic fashion. You feel like a petulant child that’s about to receive a scolding from their father.
“Hon–Honestly…Hotch, I just–”
Three rapid knocks cut you off, the door to the office swinging open without waiting for a reply.
“Sir, Hello, I’m sorry to interrupt but it’s an emergency. That case we were consulting on for Anchorage PD?” Garcia bursts into the room, slightly discoloured and more panicked than normal. “Well, five more bodies were discovered. Two of them pre-date who we initially thought was the first victim.”
“Garcia, tell everybody to meet on the jet ASAP. We’ll debrief on the flight.” Hotch orders abruptly standing from his seat. “You and I can finish this meeting later. This case is now our top priority, wheels up.”
Emily, Rossi and Derek were already in their seats when you boarded. You secured your go bag in one of the overhead compartments and temporarily took a seat next to Derek.
“How bad do you think this one is gonna be?” Derek sighs, dreading the horrors that await your arrival.
“We’re up to thirty six bodies and counting. Whoever this unsub is, they’ve been at it a while. So, bad.” You answer honestly.
“Speaking of bad, is everything okay?”
“That was not even remotely smooth.” You scoff.
“I’m just asking as a concerned friend.” He shoots his hands up in defence.
“What happened to the days where we at least tried to mind our business. You know, at least asked each other about our weekend plans before jumping into interrogation mode.” You roll your eyes and smirk.
“Heyyy, woah– no one’s interrogating anyone.” Derek chuckles. “What are your plans for the weekend?”
It wasn’t long before everybody had made their way on the jet, Spencer being the last one. You didn’t notice his arrival, too engulfed in your conversation. He definitely noticed you though. The sound of your giggles caught his attention the second he was in ear shot. He didn’t like how warm he felt at the sight of your smiling face. What he disliked more was that he could instantly tell that it wasn’t a genuine smile.
He quietly made his way to his self assigned seat on the couch, trying his hardest to focus on anything but you. Every laugh that Morgan coaxed out of you bothered him. Spencer’s agony only ended once the jet had successfully taken off.
“Alright let’s get started.” Hotch declared and everybody moved to gather around.
With all the details laid out by Garcia through the monitor, everybody began stating facts and suggestions. You wrapped up soon enough and retreated to an isolated seat in the back of the jet. It was an almost eight hour flight, seven of which you were planning to use to come up with a solid plan to announce your departure. Life always has to throw a wrench in your plans though, because the lack of sleep from the night before caught up to you and you dozed off almost immediately. Had you any energy left in your body, you might have been privy to the eyes that were on you.
“She didn’t say anything as to what the meeting was about?” JJ hushedly pries from her raven haired co worker in the cramped kitchenette.
“No, but Garcia said that ‘the air in his office was really tense’.” Emily relays, her fingers mimicking quotation marks. “Did Hotch say anything?”
“No. He just gave me his usual dry look and told me to focus on the case.” JJ rolls her eyes at the thought and leans back against the counter.
Despite being the FBI’s most decorated task force, the agents of the BAU weren’t strangers to workplace gossip. You’d just entered the bullpen this morning when Hotch frantically summoned you to his office, not even giving you time to set your things down at your desk. Witnessing the events sparked a guessing game sparked amongst the team.
“Is it something we should know about?” Sitting across from Hotch, even Rossi succumbed to his curiosity.
“Dave you’re not normally one to pry.” Hotch smirks, keeping his eyes on the case-file laid out in front of him.
“No I’m not. But with the events of the past few months...” Rossi sips his coffee, staring at his younger superior expectantly. “...there’s been some talk Aaron.”
“Talk?” Hotch meets Rossi’s eyes.
“Mhm.” Rossi nods. “Apparently you’re transferring one of our two youngest members because they haven’t been able to put their differences aside.”
“I’m not transferring anyone. Where did this come from?” The alarm in his tone makes Rossi snicker.
“Office drama. You know how it is. And while you may not be transferring anybody,” he sets his mug down and looks towards where you’re sound asleep. “I’m guessing somebody is leaving. Hence this morning's meeting.”
“We’re not supposed to profile each other, you know.” Hotch sighs. “I’d appreciate it if you could keep this contained. I haven’t had a chance to properly discuss this with her yet and I think she’d prefer to break the news herself.”
As you had predicted the case was by no means an easy one. On the first day everybody was split into groups to follow up with the M.E, victims’ families and examine the crime scenes. All the evidence and information gathered wasn’t enough to narrow the profile any more than the generic: male, mid thirties to early forties, hates women. You were now three days in with no viable leads.
You were especially frustrated because you felt that you weren’t working as well as you could. The stress of your announcement was taking its toll, you were unable to properly converse with your team out of guilt. Hotch sent everyone back to their hotel rooms with the idea that you would start fresh tomorrow. Normally you would room with Spencer, but lately JJ and Emily have been taking turns rooming with both of you. This time you were with Emily.
“I think this may be the first night we’ve gotten to turn in early.” Emily yawns as she dramatically stretches her limbs.
“I’m just glad we got to turn in at all, for a while there it looked like we may have to pull another all nighter.” You force a giggle, exasperated.
“You okay?” She doesn’t miss a beat, taking the opportunity to ask about your uneasiness.
“Yeah, fine.” You smile, but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes.
“You’re going to snap at some point, you know?” She examines your closed off posture, trying to figure out a way to get you to open up. “Something’s clearly wrong. Talk to me.”
“We’re all on edge right now. It’s this case.” You hope that you’re being convincing enough.
“It's more than that. You’ve been distant from everybody.” Emily briefly thought back to the Ian Doyle debacle, recognising all the signs of somebody preparing to run away at any given moment.
“I’m aware that I’m not working to my full potential–”
“That’s not what I mean and you know that.” She steps closer to you. “I can’t force you to tell me whatever’s actually on your mind, but I would really appreciate it if you would. I hate seeing you so…detached. Not just from us, but from yourself.”
It’s the empathy in her voice instead of the usual sympathy that finally cracks you. Tears pool your eyes and you sink to the floor. Emily sits down next to you without a word. She tries to pull you in for a hug but you push away.
“Please don’t.” You sob. “I’m sorry.”
She squeezes your knee to relay that she understands and retracts her hand. Your discomfort with physical touch was another thing you had in common with Spencer. It was just a personal preference for you, unlike his germophobia. He was the only person you were actually comfortable with in terms of touch, but you couldn’t fault others for not respecting that boundary when you’d never verbalised it.
“I’ve been trying to figure out the right way to tell you guys, but I don’t think there’s any way this gets easier.” You recompose yourself after a moment. “I’m, um, leaving.”
You expect her to get upset with you, but find her unfazed.
“You don’t look surprised.”
“Well it’s not entirely surprising. I mean given everything that’s happened.”
“So you’re not mad?”
“Why would I be mad?” She leans back with her mouth slightly open.
“Because I feel like I’m abandoning you guys.” You heavily exhale.
“You’re not abandoning us. You’re doing what you feel is right for you. I mean, am I happy about it? Definitely not. But I know better than anyone why you feel like you need to do this. And it’s not a decision you have to justify to anybody.” Emily reassures you.
“How do I tell everybody else?” You push for more advice.
“However you feel most comfortable doing it. It doesn’t have to be some big announcement. You can casually break it to them whenever you get the opportunity. They’ll understand.”
“Thank you, Em.” You genuinely smile this time, eternally grateful that she’s managed to take some pressure off your shoulders.
“Now while you’re in a mood to share…if you wanna talk about something else–” She attempts one last time to get you to talk about Spencer, sensing that the mood lightened a bit.
“Nice try.” You laugh as you rise to your feet, offering your arms out to her to help her stand.
The following two days were a lot easier on you, mentally. You took Emily’s advice and disclosed your news individually to each team member, each of them more understanding than you’d anticipated. You were surprised to learn that Rossi was already aware, assuming that it came with being a profiler for as long as he had. Derek and JJ did try to talk you out of it initially, but accepted your decision in the end. You still had to talk about this with Garcia, but felt a lot more at ease with mostly everybody knowing.
Except Spencer.
That thought lingered in the back of your mind. You still love him, it’s not something you can just turn off. You shake it off and divert your full attention to the case. Four more bodies had been discovered and with them, a new pattern to the killings. The unsub was devolving. You and Spencer were the only ones at the precinct when the last murder was called in. Meaning you were stuck working on the geographical profile with him while the others were out chasing new leads.
Realistically, only one of you was needed to build the profile and decided you were going to let him do it. You quietly sat in the furthest seat possible, trying to make yourself invisible and hoping that this would keep him busy enough to not talk to you. The whole week, you hadn’t uttered a single word to him unless it was absolutely necessary for the case. It was as if he didn’t exist, even if he was standing right infront of you. Spencer, on the other hand, spent the whole week prodding you for any reaction he could get. Anytime you made suggestions and he happened to be in the area, he tried to one up you.
At times it felt like he was purposely seeking you out, despite his brutal proclamation five days ago. Every attempt to rile you up failed. The most acknowledgement he got from you was a few scoffs and glares. He hadn’t even realised he was doing it, until Derek asked him point blank what his problem was. He didn’t have an answer, but now that he was aware of it he tried to go out of his way to avoid it.
That didn’t last more than a few hours. The fact that he had to consciously avoid talking to you pissed him off, especially because he couldn’t stop. You pretending like he didn’t exist pissed him off even more. The one time he took his eyes off the board in front of him they landed on you. You were busy scribbling words in a file, trying to get a head start on your paperwork.
“Do you plan to help at all?” He sneers, noticing that you looked a lot more relaxed than you did at the start of the case.
You snap your head towards the board behind him. A rough venn diagram was drawn on a map of the city, small tacked notes labelling prominent buildings in the area.
“How am I meant to help?” You question, darting your eyes between him and the board out of confusion.
“You’re asking me how to do your job?” He taunts, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes.
You dramatically groan, throwing your head back.
It’s hard to believe that he’s a man of logic in moments like these. There have been far too many in the last few months. You bounce off your seat and head over to the board. Spencer stays glued in his spot and your body accidentally brushes against his as you try to get past. He watches you take off some notes and add on new ones but doesn’t register what you’re doing at first. He’s too intoxicated by your scent. His hand runs through his hair as he steps back in an effort to regain his composure. His teeth grit and his jaw tenses momentarily, he hates that you have the ability to do this to him.
“What do you think you’re doing?” The pitch of his voice raises and his ears are burning.
“What do you mean?” You roll your eyes, shrugging your arms, sarcasm laced in your words.
“Don’t try to act all dumb!” He berates, shaking his head.
“Don’t try to act all smart.” Your eyes roll again. Spencer was slowly starting to wear down your apathy.
“I am smart.” He scoffs. Your blood boils, this trump card is becoming too repetitive.
“Savour that, it’s the one good thing you’ve got going for you!” You finally snap.
“You’re UNBELIEVABLE! The first time you bother to answer me all week and it’s just to argue?” He’s trying his best to refrain from yelling.
“Oh! You’ve been trying to start an argument all week and now that I’m giving in you can’t take it?! Actually, why have you been trying so hard, Doctor? I was under the impression that you can’t even stand to look at my face!”
He dryly swallows, unable to respond immediately. The reminder of his words makes him internally cringe. He never meant to say them. It was the most efficient way he could think of at that time to hurt you. Spencer hadn’t anticipated the sheer amount of will power it would take to stay away from you. You seeking him out made it infinitely harder. His fake disdain was a defence mechanism, he was hiding behind hatred to get the job done.
“YOU–”
“Alright, that’s enough!” Hotch loudly cuts him off.
Neither you nor Spencer noticed the teams return during your squabble. You’re slightly embarrassed, wondering how much they’ve witnessed. Spencer turns away from you and looks to the blank wall on the other side of the room. You look to the floor and bite the inside of your cheek.
“Care to explain what’s going on?” He grills and you feel like a petulant child receiving a lecture from your father.
“She wasn’t doing her job!” Spencer complains. “And when I brought it up she messed up my profile!”
“God you’re insufferable! It’s called ‘narrowing the profile’, Spencer. Maybe if you did it properly, I wouldn’t have to.” You retort.
“Hey!” Hotch scolds.
It falls silent for a second, awkward glances finding their way around the room. Rossi breaks it first.
“You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you two were bickering toddlers instead of FBI agents.”
You make eye contact with Morgan trying to hold in a laugh and it makes you snort.
“We will discuss this later. Let’s focus on the updates we’ve gathered.” Hotch dismisses due to more pressing matters at hand.
“After talking to friends of the latest victims, I can confirm that they were all last seen in the same club.” JJ pipes up first.
“And the dumpsites are all less than twenty minutes away from there. He’s definitely not holding them anymore.” Morgan adds.
“That has to be where he’s choosing his victims. Did the medical examiner find anything new?” Hotch asks.
“Traces of GHB.” Emily replies. “We don’t know how he’s administering it into their systems, but my guess would be through the drinks.”
“Gamma-hydroxybutyrate, mostly known as GHB, is a party drug that produces feelings of euphoria, confidence, relaxation and sociability. Side effects of GHB can include drowsiness, vomiting, mood swings, dependence, as well as more serious symptoms of unconsciousness. When mixed with alcohol the risk of overdose increases as it can cause respiratory collapse leading to coma or in extreme cases death.” Spencer’s about to continue but quickly recognises that it’s a tangent he needs to cut short.
“Wait JJ what club were the victims last seen in?” You inquire, walking closer to the map.
When she relays the name it clicks.
“That’s smack in the middle of the comfort zone.” You point at a small red note labelling the building.
“So how do we catch this guy? I mean the club would be packed and we don’t know what this guy looks like. The profile tells us that he would blend in, nothing would stand out about him.” Morgan subtly suggests a string operation.
“Except for when he’s alone with the object of his rage. Which in our case would be the women he’s using as surrogates. He'd be possessive, become clingy, hold on too tight and once those advances are rejected he’d fly into blind rage.” Spencer exclaims without realising the weight of his input.
“Yeah…but he has a very specific type.” Rossi hesitates.
A fact that everybody had been avoiding the case because of how close it hit to home.
You’re his exact type.
“No.” Hotch shuts down.
“Hotch, think about it. I mean this guy is not slowing down. A sting might be our best bet to stop him before he kills again.” JJ shares Rossi’s hesitation.
“It’s too risky!” Spencer blurts, making it clear he’s against the idea.
Everyone begins to chime in with their input, but you stay silent and think it over. None of them wanted to put you in this position, but you’d seen the bodies and what he’d done to those women. What he’ll continue to do to other women if he isn’t stopped. It was a no brainer on your end.
“I’ll do it!” You announce amidst the chatter.
It comes to an immediate halt, all eyes shifting on you.
“What?” Spencer scoffs.
You can tell that he’s genuinely surprised by the small hitch in his voice. Emily sceptically calls your name, posing it as a question.
“I’ll do it.” You reiterate, taking care to seem as confident as possible.
“Absolutely not! The odds of this going wrong are way too high!” Spencer howls with a little too much passion.
“Reid’s right. The unsub is way too unpredictable.” Hotch debates.
“JJ has a point, think about it!” You argue. “We know for a fact that he’s going to strike tonight. Sending me undercover as bait is better than staking out the place and waiting for him to target a civilian!”
“Okay so let’s send somebody else!” Spencer contests, his tone prayerful.
For a split second, you see your best friend again. He’s showing more regard for you now than he has in months and it makes your heart sink knowing it won’t be forever. Still, you try to reason with him while he’s there.
“There’s no time! I fit his type. This is our best option.”
“No, this is stupid and dangerous. You’re not going in there!” He’s gone again.
“That’s not your call to make!” You snap.
“Hotch no!” Spencer tries again.
“Kid, relax! This isn’t her first undercover mission.” Morgan attempts to calm Reid. “Plus we’ll all be there in case anything goes wrong.”
“Statistically–”
“For God’s sake forget the fucking statistics! People’s lives are at stake!” You loudly end his tangent before it can begin.
“Alright, everybody calm down!” Hotch speaks up, making it a point to stare down Spencer.
He’d made his decision and Spencer can only stare back in disbelief, too breathless to argue.
‘Like Morgan said, we’ll be there watching over you, along with some local law enforcement. You won’t be wired, but we’ll have a fail safe just in case you need backup earlier than expected. We don’t have a lot of time. Let’s get to work.” The unit chief asserts.
Before anyone can make any further moves, Spencer storms out of the room. JJ runs after him, assuring Hotch that she’ll take care of it. The rest of you break off to your assigned tasks, preparing for the operation that night.
“Spence! Slow down!” She yells, chasing him all the way outside the precinct.
He’s breathing too fast, practically on the edge of hyperventilating. He pushes his hair back with both of his hands, pacing back and forth on the sidewalk.
“Spence what the hell is going on with you?” JJ pants, reaching out to touch his shoulder.
“Me?!” Spencer yanks himself away from her. “What the hell is going on with all of you?! You’re all insane for allowing her to do this!”
“She’s a grown woman and a trained agent! This is her decision. She knows what she’s getting herself into.” JJ reminds him.
“Well it’s not a very smart decision! She shouldn’t be making decisions this…this reckless!” He shrieks.
“Okay you need to calm down!” JJ sternly states.
“Jennifer, do not tell me to calm down! She’s about to make herself a direct target for a psychopathic sadist and you’re all just letting it happen!”
“So what? Should we let some innocent woman become his next target?”
“No! I’m not saying we should– just– why does it have to be her?!” The emphasis on his last word gives him away, JJ picks up on it instantly.
“That’s what this is about? C’mon you know better than this.” She relaxes her shoulders. “Spencer, we all care about her. We all want her to be safe. And she will be as long as we separate out feelings from–”
“Feelings? This has nothing to do with how I feel–”
“Okay stop! Stop! God!” JJ huffs with pauses between her words. “I am so sick of this! This is clearly about your feelings. The past four months have all been about–”
She smacks her hands against her face as she takes a deep breath, a display of frustration.
“Listen to me.” She commands, exhausted from the back and forth. “It’s clear that you two care deeply for each other, whether you’re willing to admit it or not. Neither of you will talk about whatever it is that’s caused this rift– fine! But don’t you think it’s time to bury the hatchet now that she’s leaving?”
Spencer freezes.
“...Leaving?” He repeats, taken off guard.
JJ takes a moment to read his expression.
“She didn’t tell you?” JJ mutters, still scanning his face.
“What– what are you…” He can’t find the words, his eyes blinking rapidly as he tries to process her words.
“She’s resigning, Spencer. She’s leaving the FBI.” JJ can’t hide how she’s surprised that you haven’t shared this with him.
“No, that's not possible. She loves this job. Why would she leave?” Denial is his first response.
Spencer thinks over your possible motivations and can only land on the obvious. You’d only leave if you grew to hate the job.
Did he do this? Did he make you hate it?
“We were all surprised when she first told us, I mean, it came out of nowhere.”
“We?” He rubs his temple, anticipating a possible migraine from the bomb that just dropped on him. “How long?”
“What?”
“How long have you guys known?” He balefully sighs, trying his hardest to not misplace his anger.
“It’s hard enough at work, I don’t want to see your face in my personal time too.”
He had no one to be angry at, but himself.
“A day? Maybe two? She told us individually. Honestly with this case I haven’t had time to wrap my head around it.” JJ honestly reveals.
So not long. Maybe you were still making your way around to telling him? You wouldn’t just leave without so much as telling him, would you?
A few months ago, Spencer would’ve confidently answered no. Today he was sure that you would. He so badly hoped that he was wrong.
“Spence, look, we can talk about this later. But right now, you need to make sure you’re able to stay objective. Can you do that?”
He nods relentlessly, tucking his hair behind his ears. A habit he adapted early in life. It was an indicator of the gears turning in his head. JJ gives him a few more minutes outside before guiding him back in to help with preparations. Spencer absentmindedly performed his tasks, but all he could think about was you.
You’re leaving and he’s the only person you hadn’t disclosed this information to. Abandonment was a feeling he was all too used to, but he never imagined that you’d abandon him. He knows that he can only blame himself, but he still can’t help the irritation that’s creeping in his veins.
Even as he straps up his hidden bullet proof vest hours later, he can’t push the sentiment away. You were setting yourself up as bait for one of the most dangerous types of serial killers. On top of purposely putting yourself in direct line danger, you were leaving without telling him. He would’ve showed up to work one day and you’d be gone.
Right now he stands just a few feet away from you and you don’t look toward him once. No one would be able to guess that you’re undercover. It’s amazing how you’ve managed to transform yourself from supervisory special agent to a regular socialite and party girl in a couple of hours.
If he could overcome the hurt he feels at the moment, he might see how breathtaking you look. Then again, you always appear breathtaking to him. Before he knows it, he’s walked right up to you. You don’t feel his presence looming behind you until you bump into him when you turn around.
“Shit Spencer!” You jump, mostly because of the nerves from the upcoming night.
He’s about to say something but you beat him to it.
“Don’t start! I’m not in the mood.” You brush him off and disappear out of sight.
It was like that for much of the preparations. He’d muster the courage to try and talk to you, and you’d walk away. Much like how Spencer would avoid you when your friendship first fell apart.
“Everybody in position?” Hotch inquires through his ear piece.
“Affirmative.” Morgan gives the greenlight for your entry into the club.
You made your way to the bar, making it a point to sit alone. You didn’t have to wait long. Archie Carter, 36, cheated on by his ex fiance before their wedding. She ran away with another man because Archie failed to keep his sadistic traits hidden and it scared her off. Torturing and murdering women who looked like her was his way of giving her a real reason to be scared.
This was all information Garcia found after it was nearly too late. He’d managed to get you on the dance floor, subtly injecting you with the GHB. You didn’t even feel him do it. To everybody else it just seemed like you were playing your part really well on the dance floor, when in reality you were struggling to stand up. You couldn’t give out any signals and he was able to slip you away into the back alley under the noses of five FBI agents.
It was Spencer who’d found you fighting for your life against Archie’s grip around your throat. Spencer, who put the bullet in Archie’s head after being unable to talk him down. Spencer who kneeled above you, begging you to come back as he began CPR. If he’d found you any later you might’ve been gone for good.
Pissed was an understatement.
At the piece of shit that almost ripped you away from the world. At Hotch and the team for not listening. At himself for being right. Not you though, for the first time in a long time, he wasn’t pissed at you. He was terrified. Both for you and for almost losing you.
You had to stay a few extra days in Anchorage, bound to your hospital room. The team refused to fly back without you, each of them taking turns to keep you company. They all felt an immense amount of guilt but you reassured them that it wasn’t their fault. Your tongue grew tired of reminding them that this was a part of the job. Rossi joked that it was a good thing you were leaving it all behind in that case and it stung more than you were willing to admit.
In your brush with death you came to the revelation that you didn’t want to leave, but hearing Spencer’s voice lull you back to him confirmed that you needed to. You couldn’t bring yourself to hear him talk everyday and not be the person he was talking to. It was why you had basically barred him from visiting you during your recovery there. Seeing his face was more than you could handle at the time. Not seeing yours weighed on him, because he needed to see if you were okay.
Physically, he knew you’d be fine once the doctors confirmed it. Mentally, he knew all too well of the repercussions that came with almost dying directly by the hands of an unsub. You’d been discharged and cleared fifty eight hours after you were admitted, and the team was ready to fly back a few hours later. All the signs of being less than okay were there. He recognised them as soon as he saw you board the jet.
Besides the obvious bruises collaring your neck, there was some minor swelling that lingered. That wasn’t his biggest concern. It was the smile plastered on you when you put on your ‘I’m okay’ act for the others. Your eyes, like always, gave you away. You were already trying to sweep everything under the rug. Less than a few minutes after take off you isolated yourself in the back. You’d been doing that a lot in your recent cases.
It irked him how everybody just let you. He decided right then that he wasn’t going to. He didn’t care how much you hate him, he was going to ensure that you came out of this truly okay. You were mindlessly staring out the window, counting the clouds, listening to the music playing through your headphones. You tried to ignore the feeling of being watched. You’d felt like that since you came to, in the alley.
It took you a second to understand that you were actually being watched, turning to find Spencer in the previously empty seat across from you.
“You’ve gotta stop sneaking up on me.” You snark, ripping off your headphones, still recovering from the small jump scare.
“Sorry.” He chuckles out of habit.
You unintentionally smile at the sound and find yourself staring in his eyes.
“Are–” He falters as he thinks the question over in his head. “Is there anything I can get you?”
You’re taken aback, not expecting those words. You had a script prepared to waive off questions about your well being. He knows you better than that, throwing you off course as usual.
“What do you want?” You grumble, accepting that you couldn’t get past him.
“I want to know if there’s anything I can get you.” He repeats in a low tone.
There he is again. The Spencer you know and love. Your heart threatens to leap.
“If this is to clear some guilty conscience, don’t bother.” You verbally guard yourself. “I’m fine.”
It would be a lie if he said his reasoning was completely selfless. He was hardly able to keep away from you without feeling like he was drowning, but it was nothing compared to how he felt when he thought he may have lost you forever. The feeling didn’t last very long, he was able to revive you within a few seconds, but never feeling like that again would be too soon.
Spencer believed in two things; statistics and facts. One fact he refused to ignore any longer is that he couldn’t live without you. He quietly opened that satchel that still clung across his torso, fishing out some pain killers and an unopened water bottle.
“I know you probably forgot to take yours out of your bag.” He ignores your previous comment and slides the items across the table to you.
Your gaze lingers on the items in front of you, but your hands stay folded in your lap as you piece everything together.
“You know.” You whisper.
“Were you going to tell me?” He gulps after a beat of silence.
“Does it matter?” You're quick to respond.
“I wanna hear it from you.” He’s just as fast.
You look up from the leaf of pills, he’s already surveilling you. It’s a short lived staring contest because your focus shifts behind him to Hotch, who’s observing this encounter from the kitchenette on the other end. Spencer continues waiting on you for a response but you stand up, ready to walk away. It dawns on you when you see your supervisor that technically you hadn’t officially resigned yet. The paperwork never got started because this case took priority and that was a detail you needed to sort out right away.
“Don’t go.” Spencer pleads when you take your first step.
Was it a request to sit back down or to stay with the BAU? You didn’t bother to clarify, he had no right to ask for either.
You let out a deep, exasperated sigh as you lie curled up in your warm sheet, scowling at the floor beneath you. It seemed that the universe (your friends) had it out to delay your departure as much as possible. It’s been four days since your return from Anchorage and you’ve been stuck in your apartment since Hotch dropped you off here. He’s ordered mandatory time off for your recovery, meaning the paperwork has to wait.
You could be using this time in a more productive manner. You could be searching for a new job. And a new place to live. You should be trying to figure out where this new place would be. You never actually thought that far ahead. In your haste to run away, you forgot to plan your next steps. You’ve convinced yourself that you can’t do any of it until the forms are filled out.
The ‘universe’ isn’t the only thing delaying you.
If you really wanted to, you could have everything emailed to you. You can have it done online, but there are two major problems. The first is pretty straight forward; you’re not ready to leave. You know that this is the best course of action for everybody, but your brain and your heart are at an impasse. You’ve dedicated years to this job because you love this job. Unfortunately, you love Spencer more, which means that staying is going to drive you to hate your job.
The other reason is slightly more nuanced and you don’t want to think about it, opting to let your impasse be the reason for your lack of motivation to do anything other than bed rotting. It’s not as bad as it seems, it’s more self care than anything. Your body’s telling you it needs to rest and you’re simply obliging. Plus, it couldn’t be that serious if you still had bursts when you had to keep up appearances. You have to be okay if you’re able to force yourself to open the front door for your coworkers when they come to check on you. You really weren’t that miserable if you managed to smile and laugh for their short visits.
And it’s not like you’re truly rotting. You showered quite often, you actually just had your second one today. You were definitely okay if you could manage to keep up with hygiene. It’s not excessive, you need to scrub the purple away. You know that’s not how it works, but you can’t stand to look at the parts of your neck where his hands were wrapped around. If you close your eyes for long enough you can still feel him squeezing until–
You’re okay.
No, you’re irritated. The incessant knocking on your front door won’t stop no matter how much you ignore it. You were relieved when evening came. It meant that normal visiting hours were over and you could rest today. If it wasn’t any of your usual visitors then it had to be stranger. The thought made you uneasy, you hesitated to answer it at all.
You can’t live in fear all the time.
The door eventually opens and Spencer sees you for the first time in days. He actually tried to check on you earlier, but Penelope insisted everybody stick to her roster so you don’t get overwhelmed. The circles under your eyes were almost as dark as his, you hadn’t been getting much sleep. The swelling around your throat was almost all gone, but the bruising wasn’t healing like he expected it to.
“Spencer…what are you doing here?” Your voice is hoarse.
“I brought take out.” He gently dangles a bag of food in front of him, his voice high, but quiet.
You can practically smell the contents of the bag, nostalgia hitting you like a ton of bricks. It was your favourite thing to order on the days he’d come over for movie nights. Before Spencer showed you a side of him you didn’t know existed. It felt like a taunt, like he was twisting the metaphorical knife he plunged in your heart. It made you sick.
“I already ate.” You lie, mustering a dull smile on your face.
Spencer swallows and bites the inside of his cheek, not taking his eyes off you. Trying to think of the best way to call you out without causing you to shun him.
“We can do something else until you’re hungry again.” He gives a tight lipped smile and raises his furrowed brows, like he’s pleading for you to accept his offer.
“I don’t think I’ll be hungry anytime soon.” You awkwardly laugh– well it’s close to a laugh if not for your strained vocal chords.
“Can I come in anyway? We can put on a movie.” He’s using the voice he used to when trying to comfort you or convince you of something. Soft, low, steady. It’s a stark contrast to the voice you’ve been hearing for the last ten days.
Please don’t come back here. It’s hard enough at work, I don’t want to see your face in my personal time too.
Tears threaten the composure you’re working so hard to maintain.
“Why are you really here?” You sigh, unable to stick with the pleasantries.
“I told you.” He emphasises the bag of food in his hands again. “Take out. Maybe a movie–”
“Cut the shit.” You assert, harshly. “You can tell Penelope that you came to see me so she gets off your back, but please stop pretending like you care.”
“That’s…is that why you think I’m here?” His shoulders drop.
“Isn’t it?” You bite, your door now wide open as you lean against it for support. Your legs are aching to curl into your chest again.
“No.” His reply is short and clear, leaving no room for misinterpretation. “I’m here because I want to be here.”
“Why? There’s nothing in it for you.” You scoff, blinking from confusion. “Unless…is this some sick game? Seeing me like this– knowing that I’m– are you trying to gloat?”
“Gloat?” He repeats in almost a whisper, the hurt in his voice evident.
“Relish, rejoice, rub it in, I don’t know. You’re the walking thesaurus.”
He can tell from your lax posture that you're amused. Your back is against your door, hands behind your back and you’re leaning forward a bit as you stare at the ground. Not caring that your words cut deep.
Is this how low you think he is?
“Why would I be enjoying this?” His hopeful smile drops entirely as he tries to understand you.
“Call it epicaricacy.” You shrug.
“Epicaricacy?” He mumbles in a whispered tone, like he’s trying to process what you said.
Deriving pleasure from the misfortune of others.
Your eyes roll from how slow he’s acting and you have to hold yourself back from repeating the definition out loud.
“Do you honestly think I enjoy seeing you like this?” The change in pitch stings a bit.
“No, I don’t think you like seeing me at all.” You half smirk up at him, sadness evident in your eyes. “Which brings us back to…why are you here Doc?”
“That’s not true.” He cringes, ignoring the second part.
“Not true?” You wiggle your brows sarcastically.
“Not true.” He reaffirms, sighing deeply. “I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry.” You scoff again, shaking your head.
“I know that I’ve been unreasonable–”
“Unreasonable?” The tip of your tongue rolls against the back of your teeth, bewildered at his sheer audacity.
“A dick! I’ve been a dick.” He corrects himself, desperate to have you hear him out.
You tighten your jaw, inhaling lightly through your nose and your brows are raised as high as they can go.
“I was hurt. Okay? I wash lashing out, but, I–” He takes a deep breath to stop himself, wanting to get to the point. “I know that I’ve been acting otherwise but, I care about you. And when I found you back there…I just…I know what you’re going through, even if you won’t admit it. I don’t want you to go through it alone.”
Your expression softens as he speaks. Of course he knows. He knows you better than anyone. For a moment you consider allowing yourself to break down in his arms, like you would have once. It’s jarring, Spencer reverting to his former self after he saved your life. The comfort swiftly bubbles into anger. All your attempts for reconciliation were met with so much hostility before. It took you almost dying for him to care. It feels too little too late. The only thing you can think of as he stands next to you is all the ways he can further hurt you if you let him. You push off your door and stand straight, giggling bitterly.
“Spencer, go home.” You say with the same bitterness.
“Please–”
“Go home! I don’t want your pity!” You yell. It feels alleviating. “Do you honestly think that anything changes just because you saved my life? Do you think it erases everything that’s happened in the past few months? Because it doesn’t! Things can’t go back to how they were simply because you feel bad that I almost died. It’s not a flip you can switch. You don’t just get to start caring!”
You're heaving and he can only stare at the ground. He knows you’re right, except for the one crucial error in your speech.
“I never stopped caring.” He mumbles.
This fucking idiot.
Enraged, sad, frustrated, confused; all emotions you’ve been suppressing that are now fighting to show at the same time. You take a step closer to him and he meets your eyes again. You can see that he’s holding back tears, same as you. It fuels you in a twisted way. You have an opportunity to hurt him the way he hurt you and you don’t let it go to waste.
“Don’t come back here. It’s hard enough at work to see your face at work, I don’t want to see it in my personal time too.”
You can’t stay to see the effects of his words thrown back at his face, your heart’s threatening to burst from how fast it’s racing. His jaw locks from how tense he is. He knows exactly why you said it, but it’s still hard to hear. You turn around and rush into your apartment, shutting the door on his face, leaving him standing there. You don’t make it too far inside, collapsing on the wooden floor with a choked sob.
That didn’t make you feel as good as you thought it would. You hoped that maybe if you could make him feel at least a fraction of you’re feeling, you’d hurt less. It was more than just getting back at him for everything he’s done. You were unknowingly trying to punish him for what Archie Carter did too. It didn’t make you hurt any less, but at least you felt less alone in your hurt.
He didn’t come back for the rest of your time off. Everybody continued to follow the roster, showing up on their days and bringing you ‘get well soon’ goodies. Penelope even invited herself over for a night's stay once. You didn’t have the heart to say no, but you found yourself counting the hours until you’d be alone again, free to wallow. The only respite you got for the next week was on Spencer’s days. You could expect to be left mostly alone, only a bag of take out accompanied by an eerily fitting quote sitting outside your door.
You hate to admit that those were your favourite days. You had a chance to breathe and he somehow knew exactly what you needed to hear. You gave the food away in protest and the quote would go straight in the bin (once you read it). One final psych evaluation later you were cleared to come back. Not that you needed one since you didn’t plan to stay for long. It was really just a formality. By the time you returned only a few faded bruises remained, easy enough to cover with concealer.
“You’re back! Ooh, it’s so good to see you!” Garcia was the first with a warm greeting and a tight hug. You reciprocated to the best of your ability.
“Good to have you back, Pretty Girl.” Derek’s second, walking you through the bullpen as you make your way to Hotch’s office.
“Enjoy it while you can.” You giggle in reply. “Is Hotch in yet?”
“I see someone can’t wait to leave us.” Emily jokes, feigning a hurt look. You roll your eyes.
“Yeah, he’s expecting you.” JJ laughs, slapping Emily’s arm playfully.
“Thanks JJ!” You smile and they all watch you disappear behind the door.
“So it’s official? She’s really leaving?” JJ questions through a half-hearted smile.
“I asked Rossi and he said that Hotch is gonna ask her to stay until we find a replacement.” Emily replies, still eyeing the door.
“How did you get Rossi to admit that?” JJ turns to the raven head, questioningly, and Emily smiles coyly giving no response.
“Am I the only one who thinks this whole thing would end once they make up? I mean come on, we all know she’s leaving because of him, right?” Morgan looks at Spencer, who’s nose deep in a file at his desk.
“Yeah, but we can’t help if they refuse to talk to us about it.” Emily sighs, hanging her head back.
The three dive deeper into their discussion and you’re none the wiser from inside the cream-coloured walls of Hotch’s office. As per protocol, he’s just finished informing you of what’s next and you’re kind enough to accept his request to stay until they find a replacement. You definitely said yes because you want to make the team’s transition easier, not for any self indulgent reasons such as you not being ready to leave.
“Just return this to me once you’ve filled it out.” He instructs as he hands you a file containing your resignation forms.
“Thanks Hotch.” You smile, grabbing the file.
You begin heading towards the door when he stops you by your name.
“I understand that you’re set on this decision, but I am sad to see you go.” It’s insane how many emotions this man can get across while maintaining a blank expression. “However, if you change your mind at any point, let me know.”
“Thanks Hotch.” You playfully scoff, appreciating that even he has to try at least once.
If one more person tries though, you might scream. It wasn’t easy, pretending that you weren’t crumbling inside. The extra pressure doesn’t make it any easier. You leave his office, closing the door behind you and approach your desk. The resignation forms are put aside for later as you still have to finish your case report from Anchorage. Part of you wanted to put it off until the last minute, the other part wanted to get it over and done with as soon as possible.
“Coffee?” Penelope chirps, holding out a mug filled with the hot beverage.
“Thanks Pen.” You smile up at her, taking it out of her hands.
“No problem.” She smirks mischievously and trots off.
A strange lady, but your strange lady.
Upon your first sip you almost choke it out. It was perfect. Exactly to your liking. Which would be a good thing, except only one person knows exactly how you like it. Back when you first joined, you learned how popular coffee was with all the employees. You felt out of place because you weren’t a massive fan of the drink and you avoided too much sugar because it made you feel sick. You soon discovered that you liked it a lot more with honey instead. It was a weird preference, but it worked for you, making it sweet without overpowering your senses like sugar did.
You never declined a cup when offered by your colleagues, not wanting to dishearten them. It was Spencer who caught you sneaking honey into your cup when you thought no one was paying attention. He never mentioned anything to you, but the next time he returned with a cup to offer, you couldn’t help but the smile that adorned your face for the rest of the day. It was why you dedicated yourself to morning breakfast runs for him, memorising his coffee order as a silent thank you. Neither of you ever talked about it.
You spin your seat around to find Spencer engaged in conversation with Rossi. You consider walking past him and dumping the beverage in the sink to make a point, but it was a welcome energiser for the dreadful task at hand. Plus you aren’t wasteful. You spin back around and decide to accept it just this once.
When he’s sure you’re no longer looking he sets his sights back on you. A small smile forms across his lips when he sees you drink the coffee. He honestly expected you to throw it away. He feared that if he was the one to deliver the mug, you’d throw it on him. It was why he convinced Garcia to do it, bribing her by promising to buy a round of drinks on the next night out.
“Kid, are you even listening?” Rossi scolds in an incredulous way.
As the hours pass, your frustration grows. You couldn’t get yourself to write the details of the case. Your mind refused to think about it. You had hoped that taking breaks would make it easier, but everytime you returned to the page your head went blank.
“Need some help?” Spencer asks, spawning next to you.
“Christ, Reid!” You blurt, startled. “I thought I told you to stop doing that.”
“Sorry.” He chuckles as if on cue.
You glare at him expectantly. He doesn’t say anything, glancing between you and the unfinished case file, waiting for an answer.
“No thanks.” You keep it short, hoping he takes the hint.
“Let me know if you do.” He doesn’t.
“You wouldn’t even be the last person I’d ask if I did.” You snark.
“But you would eventually?” He stays calm, almost playful.
Smart ass.
You choose to ignore him, be the bigger person and all that. Even though he wasn’t antagonising you.
“Thanks for the coffee.” It’s forceful gratitude. You weren’t feeling grateful, but you still had manners.
“You’re welcome.”
“Don’t make it again.”
“I will not.” He grins and walks away to his desk.
You act like you don’t know he’s watching you work. Looking up often to find you stuck on the same page. Even if he knew that you know, he didn’t plan to stop. What he does know is that you’d never directly let him help you. He doesn’t care. There weren’t any new cases this week, so a ton of paperwork was to be expected. It’s taunting enough to write down details of your own assault, the extra paperwork would only add more stress. You’re too busy trying to push through the mental blockade to notice the sudden influx of files on his desk and the efflux on yours.
What you didn’t miss was how the next cup of coffee you were offered was just as perfect as the one from before.
“I thought I told you to stop with the coffee, Reid.” You lightly slam the paper cup on Spencer’s desk.
He leans back in his seat and chews on his lip with an entertained smirk.
“And I did. That’s not from me.” He’s earnest with his response.
“Oh, so JJ just happens to know my coffee preferences all of a sudden?” You sarcastically retort, crossing your arms.
“No.” He crosses his fingers across his lap. “I told her how you like your coffee when she said she was going on a coffee run.”
“And why did you do that?” You play along, unenthusiastically.
“Because you told me to stop doing it.” He states in the most casual way possible.
This was getting you nowhere. It was naive to think he’d let you spend your last few weeks here peacefully. Scratch that– he was being peaceful. Too peaceful. A new tactic to get under your skin?
“Stop. It.” The delivery of your words is slow and emphasised.
“Stop doing exactly what you’ve told me to?”
You bite your tongue and glare at him. His face, shoulders, arms, everything, is relaxed. You can’t even argue with him. You take a moment to consider how bad it would be if you bashed his head in with the back of your gun. Then you take another to critique how easy it is to pass the psych evals. They should really think about the consequences of using questions the BAU wrote on actual BAU agents.
After that day you went back to ignoring him. Any time coffee was offered you’d decline altogether. If he attempted to try and talk to you, you’d respond with yes or no for the sake of professionalism. This didn’t deter Spencer though. He gave you your space but kept a close eye on you, continuing to try and ease your burdens from afar. Exactly how he used to.
This only lasted until the next case came in. Specifically until you were back out on the field, where he perceived you to be in high amounts of danger. You tolerated it because it gave you comfort, not that you’d ever tell him. Having Spencer by your side made it easier to deal with the reality that there’s little you can do if another incident like Anchorage occurred.
Plus focusing your energy on ignoring him kept the flashbacks away. Or it did, until the take down. You once again found yourself in danger from an unsub, only this time the situation was controlled. All guns were pointed at the killer, except for the one that was pointed at you. The plan was simple: you talk down the unsub, take him back to the station and talk him into exposing his partner.
Everything was going according to plan, until Spencer realised that one of the cops in the room was his partner and he was about to shoot you. Nobody understood what happened before the situation calmed down. Spencer had fired the first shot towards the dirty cop and immediately tackled you to the ground, shielding you from the hail of bullets that followed after. All you remember clearly is freezing up, clinging to the man on top of you. One moment you were screaming out, trying to make sure that he was okay and the next you were back in the alley behind the bar, fighting for your life.
You didn’t comprehend anything until the panic attack subsided but Spencer was fine. His vest caught the bullets. Both unsubs were dead. Rossi and Prentiss came to the realisation the same time as Spencer and were quick to react. And you weren’t in the alley. You were in Spencer’s arms as he led you away from the scene when it was safe.
When you snapped out of it the medics had cleared him of any injuries. He tried to approach you during your check up, but you shoved him away, unable to even look at him. The only thing you remember clearly is Hotch sending you all back to your hotel rooms before tomorrow’s flight back. You should be asleep right now, if not from the exhaustion of today’s events alone, then from how long you spent reassuring everybody that you were okay.
You couldn’t sleep. Not when so many thoughts were occupying your headspace. This is the second time Spencer’s saved your life, in the span of roughly a month. The first time he’s put his life in direct danger to save yours. Had it not been for his vest he would be dead. The more you linger on it, the angrier you’d become. You were also wearing a vest, you would’ve been fine. What he did was unnecessary and reckless.
What if the bullet missed the vest? Entered through the side? What was he thinking?
You were mentally fighting the urge to barge into his room and yell at him for his stupidity, but you couldn’t bring yourself to go to him. What happens to him is not your problem anymore. You aren’t going to let your guard down just because he’s an idiot.
Spoilers: BAU! Reader, Reader almost dies, Reader and Spencer are pissing me off, bc they’re so dumb, angst, hurt no comfort, Reader gets a little revenge.
AN - Before you comment ANYTHING, there is one more part. It’ll be posted a lot sooner than this one was. Writing this made me realise how limited the English language is. There’s only so many words to use and ways to write them. If either part sounds repetitive at times, it’s not my fault!!! Casual reminder: I am not Spencer Reid. I don’t have an IQ of 187. Any facts I make him spew could very well be bull-shit and he only spews them for the purpose of the story. I also have no knowledge of how the FBI works and lack a ton of common sense. A lot of things were made up for the purpose of this story.
If you comment you garner good karma for yourself and that could lead to you meeting MGG someday (I’m not liable if this never happens), think about that...
Thank you for reading!
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