#<- btw I think the fic (if I ever write it) will be from Oscar’s pov so he’ll refer to Charlie as detective noel

[shy-sapphic-ace]

I really really really want to read a Oscar/Noel fic but I can’t?? find any?? I guess I have to write my own but it’s not the same :(

[leclerced]

Omg something happened to me today!! So a bunch of my (guy) friends found out about my nipple piercings today (btw 10/10 recommend) and it got me thinking again.

You’re talking to some of the drivers, as friends do, and a friend of yours accidentally mentions your nipple piercings. They are all shocked and exited and ask you if its true but try to deny it very poorly. You let yourself get talked into showing them your tits after they all BEG you to show them. Imagine them all huddled together in a pile and you in front of them lifting your shirt. They all look like that one gif of charles while discussing and complimenting your tits piercings. Like children on Christmas. They will never look at you the same.

(And since we talk abt it here sometimes, imagine a boob obsessed lando suddenly being so attracted to you, he’s making it his life’s mission to suck on your tits 👀)

-🫀

i want nipple piercings soooo bad oh my god ive wanted to write a fic about this for so fucking long

reader has had them done for years and has a multitude of stories about situations she got herself into because of them, but she’s never told any of the guys she’s friends with about them until tonight, at a dinner party at her place. or what would have been a dinner party had dinner not burned after she allowed lando to help, who only proved to be a distraction. dinner turned into snacking on the stray foods in her fridge and pantry and drinking too much alcohol from the home bar.

lando mentioned getting caught in a metal detector at the airport one night and a friend she invited to dinner gave her a look before bursting out laughing. she couldn’t help but join in and soon enough the drivers are all questioning what's so funny about lando getting flagged at the airport because he left his keys in his pocket. before reader can wave it off, her drunk friend animatedly begins narrating the story of how last summer she was nearly strip searched when her nipple piercings flagged a metal detector. immediately, everyone in the room is shifting in their seats to face her, eyes drifting down to her tits, covered by a baggy tshirt she may or may not have stolen from one of them at some point.

someone asks if it's true and she nods through drunken giggles, and then lando, who's closest to her, leans in and asks if they can see. the lack of an immediate no makes charles echo the sentiment, yeah, can we? is that okay? and her best friend shoots her an apologetic look for bringing it up. she teases them, trying to divert the attention away by saying they've all seen tits before but lando's voice is practically dripping with need when he says, "not your pierced ones." and charles laughs and max agrees, "or any pierced ones, for that matter." and imagine oscar's there and he's speechless, thinking like, is this happening? like actually? somehow she lets herself be convinced and once she says okay, the men in the room almost cheer because they’re so excited. her best friend is asking if she’s sure and she’s like, “i’m just throwing them a bone, it’s fine.”

the moment she starts lifting her shirt they’re all gasping and moving closer. they’d totally comment on the jewelry, whether it’s a dangly charm or a classic barbell. grinning and looking at each other like, you’re seeing this too right? and then their smiles all fall when she drops her shirt and they’re begging for another peek. she’s laughing and teasing them more, and they’re all kind of flustered because wow. she actually showed them her boobs. its like when they were preteen boys and saw boobs for the first time, they all have varying experiences of that, but they all experience this together and they never ever get over it. all of them getting flustered around her when she wears a tight top and no bra and it’s so obvious that they don’t know how they missed it before?

lando being obsessed with her and she can immediately tell because he won’t stop staring at her anytime she’s around. imagine like it all builds up until summer break when she goes with them on vacation for a week or two, and they go to a beach somewhere and are all staying in the same house and all of them are constantly staring at her tits when she’s in a bikini but lando is ignoring everyone else and only paying attention to her, constantly flirting with her and she flirts back but never gives into his advances. it never goes past flirting until one night so they’re all drinking and partying on the beach. lando gets her alone and they end up walking down the beach for a bit looking for crabs and sandcastles to destroy. they’re both too drunk to be blamed for anything that happens, because he starts telling her how he hasn’t stopped thinking about her in months and every time he sees her he wonders if she’s changed the jewelry, and she’s practically gawking at him as he drunkenly rambles to her about how he can’t stop thinking about her tits. she just reaches behind her back and unties her top and he loses his train of thought and is like, “okay put that back on we’re going back to the house. unless you want me to fuck you right here.”

also gif below !!! im absolutely feral why does he look so incredible??

[wanderingblindly]

I keep thinking about your portrayal of Lando in Impasse of Biting (and this is going to be very personal and possibly somewhat incorrect so feel free to skip it yk) and I've decided to just write my thesis on it because fuck it why not

the way you describe a scene is always just so. vivid to me. like all the details and the subtleties make it palpable, it all flows so naturally I've never had to think twice about what the scenery is or where/how the characters are physically because it just stays, and this story stuck with me with a level of detail not many have. full disclosure I did not reread the fic before writing this (to preserve sanity) so some details might be off regardless. anyways.

what immediately stands out about Lando is how alone he feels, that he's isolated on a much deeper level than just being introverted would get you. the way I think about this is basically: when you treat/perceive life as if it was happening TO you without having a say in it, in a way you're not living in the same world everyone else is. events in your life, the actions you take, maybe even the things you think or want don't feel like they're in your control, they're not really connected to you. and since you're obviously different than those around you in how you process basically everything you become painfully alone. ("fun" fact I wasn't really able to relate to basically any fictional character for a looooooong time. they had motives and reasons for their actions. I didn't feel I had anything to do with that.) it's like you're an observer of your own life, playing a passive role rather than being alive, you don't feel like a person at all sometimes (which is why I think Charles' proposition has such a grip on him. it's a promise to be seen, wanted, needed. to be a real person with a palpable effect on their surroundings, to fill out a place in the world. to be known)

the way Lando then broke free of that, stood up for himself (because he realised he deserved to and could just do that) meant, like, a lot to me. just seeing my own experience reflected back at me like that, and then seeing Lando overcoming it gave me a lot of,,, not really hope (thankfully I did already battle it out) but more like, reassurance that no matter what I would've gotten away from that mentality (eventually). that I would not have been stuck in my own mind for the rest of my life. we don't really find out in detail why Lando turned out like that, but I know why I did, and for a long time I felt like my life was taken away from me in a sense, I had to mourn that. and it took a lot out of me emotionally, and sometimes I'm still afraid I might slip back or that in some alternate universe I never made it out. seeing someone else go through something very similar and leaving that situation happy meant. more than I can describe tbh

altough Oscar's character had less of an effect on me (tbf there's not really a fair comparison to be made) there is still a lot to be said about his complete refusal to accept himself as he is, that he had to be shown that he CAN and deserves to be loved before he even considered letting himself take what he needs also resonated with me a lot. in my mind they connect through their respective superstitions of being loved (idk if that wording makes sense tbh you might have to read my mind here soz)

it also stood out to me how Lando irl was a very shy (and likely lonely) teenager, who would actually find his confidence and subsequently very lively personality later in life. which I think is less a consciously written parallel and more like a characteristic of him that's naturally adapted into a lot of rpf works (I still find it noteworthy tho). and I don't know how much you, the author, ever experienced that, but admittedly I am curious about it (and completely feel free to not answer that btw) never before in my life have I been able to talk to someone about this very specific type of loneliness and felt like they actually understood. like when I explain it logically everyone can imagine it, but I don't think you can truly get it unless you've been through it yourself, which thankfully not many have.

I'm not usually the type of person to cry reading fics no matter how deeply miserable they make me (ex: Casual by loquarocoeur. that fic ruined my life but I never truly felt like crying about it) EXCEPT for when they resonate with me on a personal level apparently because I quite literally cried myself to sleep after Impasse. like it GOT to me. I needed that I think, so above all thank you (as you can tell I've thought about this a totally normal and healthy amount, I also think it's important to let people know when they've had an impact on you so here we are) (even if I'm too much of a pussy to not do this out of anon lmao)

- anon with the "letting go" answer to the smut poll thing (getting such a positive response to that gave me the motivation to write this so like, keep being lovely c:) (and ps. I'm not gonna say sorry for sending you a literal essay because that would be lying and lying is bad but for the record, I did NOT intend for this to be nearly 1k words long and I completely understand if it was intimidating enough to be skipped or procrastinated)

(impasse of biting)

oh my god,,,, oh my god can I,,,,, can I kiss you on the forehead,,,,,, this is possibly the most beautiful ask I've ever received. And, despite you not having read it a second time, you are SO right on so many fronts. In fact, some of these points are almost word for word lifted from my rambling to the homies on discord during the writing/brainstorming process.

I hope you don't mind a small essay in response, ft. some screenshots (if I can find them).

the way you describe a scene is always just so. vivid to me. like all the details and the subtleties make it palpable

I've said it a million times, but this is always the highest praise imaginable to me. I never believed in settings/scene descriptions as my strongest point, especially considering my aphantasia. I'll go cry now.

when you treat/perceive life as if it was happening TO you without having a say in it, in a way you're not living in the same world everyone else is.

I swear I said nearly this exact thing, word for word, to someone while I was planning this fic. It's the one screenshot I can't find, and I'm pulling my hair out about it, but in short: Y E S. That's exactly the brand of loneliness I wanted to describe. Because Lando's issue isn't introversion, it's not that he can't put himself out there and be loud if he wants to, it's more so that any time he tried to in the past, it didn't... work. It was like everyone was operating on different assumptions than him, or getting different signals. And that repeated experience beat him down to the Lando we see in the fic.

It reminds me of this comment I made:

I wanted to emphasize the loneliness with this overarching sense of... helplessness. And that's the reason it was so painful to Lando at certain points in his life -- the perceived lack of agency.

(which is why I think Charles' proposition has such a grip on him. it's a promise to be seen, wanted, needed. to be a real person with a palpable effect on their surroundings, to fill out a place in the world. to be known)

You get it! You get it!!!!!!!! I was also thinking about why Lando would stay with Charles despite it not really getting better. Like, yes, the urge to be seen and wanted and needed would get him in his grip, but why would Lando stay? And I realized it all came back to the idea of apathy as a misrepresentation for acceptance:

for a long time I felt like my life was taken away from me in a sense, I had to mourn that.

First of all, I'm really really glad that you've gotten yourself to a better place in your life -- and I'm glad that reading this helped you feel seen and understood in your journey. This specific wording really resonated with the way I tried to show Lando's relationship to his lot in life; I wanted him to be angry because I wanted him to be grieving. I wanted him to be mad at himself for letting himself get to this point, and I wanted him to feel that ambiguous, hard-to-pinpoint anger that comes with mourning.

Him being mad at himself felt really key to his character development, because it exemplifies him taking control of his own life. By getting mad, by being ignited from the inside, we see that he realizes it was, to an extent, always in his control -- and he chose to let himself watch life happen. Obviously the reality may not have been that simple, but the mentality switch felt really vital to me.

in my mind they connect through their respective superstitions of being loved

I totally may be misunderstanding you here (sorry!), but I definitely see what you mean here -- and I agree! The fact that they both have equal but opposite... hang ups about love and life is part of what brings them together. Lando believes he's only good for giving and resents that, Oscar believes he's only designed to take, and he would rather die than give in to it. What I really loved about the resolution to this dynamic though, is that they didn't actually change -- Lando still gives, and Oscar still takes. But it's the connotation, the feeling behind the behavior, that shifts. They didn't have to change who they were, intrinsically, to find love that leaves them feeling safe.

I don't know how much you, the author, ever experienced that, but admittedly I am curious about it

Hmmmmm I'm honestly not sure that I've felt this exact brand of loneliness before, but I used to frequently grapple with like... the fear that I was living life correctly, especially when I was younger. I lived a very straight and narrow life in high school, I didn't party in college, I didn't have my first partner until I was 23, etc etc. A lot of the milestones that felt really normal to my peers just... didn't happen to me.

It's all tied pretty intricately to my asexuality, I've realized, but I described my relationship to a lot of the world as feeling like a doll, or maybe a large scale art piece. I was admired a lot, aesthetically, but I didn't really exist in the same way that a lot of "women" (ish) did.

So, no. Probably not what you went through at all, but perhaps a different genre of it :) I just like thinking about emotions hahahaha. Though my DMs are always open if you'd like to talk more about this sort of thing, I contemplate it often <333

I quite literally cried myself to sleep after Impasse. like it GOT to me

This must have been kinda scary to admit, even on anon, but jesus christ THANK YOU. I never imagine any of my works like, resonating with people. Mattering at all, really. I still don't entirely believe that people read the nonsense I put out there. But god, this is like.... it. It's possibly all a casual writer could ever hope to achieve. Thank you again, I don't even have the words <3333333333333333333333

so like, keep being lovely c:

NO U!!!!!!!!!!!! MWUAH!!!!

[chronic-ghost]

alright I can’t wait because this

The white bathroom door.

This is the moment he realizes that blank door will haunt his nightmares for years to come. What he could have found on the other side. What he nearly does. 

FUCJING DESTROYED ME 😭😭😭😭

Like holy crap this chapter was so so amazing and I think despite the absolute heartbreak, it’s my favourite so far! Just like the emotions??? The intimacy at the beginning and then then everything turning into a war zone.

And then my heart literally sank when Oliver was there and saying all that shit. Oh my god.

Firstly tho, god damn you Chloe. Like, I don’t believe her! If she is pregnant then it’s probably not Dieters… (I hope lmao) or she’s lying because she knows he’s going to leave her otherwise. But girl, you’re not having his baby!! 😂 I can’t wait to see what is actually true and to hate Chloe even more lmao!

But their fight 😭😭😭 so much emotion and aggressions and sadness and hurt. All the freaking hurt in that room in that moment 🥺🥺 my poor little heart!! Poor Natalies heart too because I’m sure you could probably actually hear it break.

But I’m so glad Dieter could call Heidi and she came and helped him 😭😭 and he’s gonna go to rehab for himself and get better for himself and be happy for himself 🥺 and he was nominated for an Oscar!!! 😭 I’m sure it will be such a tough and hard road but I’m glad he has someone there for him!

And Natalie.. 😭😭 I had a feeling something like this was eventually going to happen and while I hate to say it.. maybe it had to. For her to also realise that this isn’t the life she wants to have. That she deserves a better one, a happier one! I’m just so glad she made it through because you could’ve absolutely shredded our hearts right there lmao!

But the way you wrote that, the way Dieter found her. It really was like I could feel his desperation and fear, got my hands all sweaty! It was written so so beautifully and so sad and I legit wanted to cry a bit.

Fuck Oliver obviously, hope you rot in jail 💕

(btw I’m watching the new season only murders in the building and for some reason I always picture that Oliver and it’s absolutely fucking hilarious 😂)

Just.. Aaaaaaah!!! Like this was such a sad and heart breaking chapter but I also feel weirdly hopeful? Like shit went down. Absolute rock bottom and it sucks! But now the only way left is up again, working on rebuilding the rubble and maybe it’s gonna be so so much better then.

Also Natalie finally said she loves him 🥺 I know they’re gonna find their way back to each other eventually and hopefully have their issues and problems worked out so they can finally get to know who the other person really is and love each other even more and better than before 🥺

AND RECOVERY ROAD GOT AN OSCAR! 🎉

Man this was just an amazing chapter and I am so soft for these 2 characters and I just.. sigh

You’re such a brilliant freaking writer! Thank you for sharing 🥺 (also I wasn’t sure where to send this ask so I hope here is okay but if not then the next one will be to your Pedro blog!!! :))))

im having kind of a rough day and this . . . ooof, this got me real good.

aldjfalkadsf i would never do anything to actually hurt Natalie forever, she's come too far. fanfiction is supposed to be fun and i am too much of a wimp to really kill a character forever -- or do something that prevents the blorbos from being happy in the end. this is the lowest the fic will ever get, so you're right! the only way forward is up!

I've been writing fic for years and the scene in the hospital is the only time i've actually made myself tear up. i think it's easy to forget that natalie is 13 years younger than dieter and just by the nature of time itself, has more life experience than her. she's still young herself and trying to figure it all out. my heart just broke for her :(

I LOVE only murders in the building and that oliver would be horrified and disgusted by this oliver! Martin Short is absolutely hilarious in that role -- i need to catch up on the next season!

thank you so much for all your words and support. it really truly honestly means the world to me! i was really, really hoping you'd like this chapter and i can't wait to hear what you think of the next one.

You make all of this very worthwhile!

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

Hi hi! Can you recommend me some fics of yours? That you wrote. I got recommended to read your fics but have NO IDEA where to start. So hence I asked. Or am asking. And since we're both Mayans MC fans.... shower me with mayans fics! 🤣

Btw, how was or is your day? Hope you're doing well. I'm just about to go to sleep (great timing I know), but if I wake up to recs, I will devour them! No joke. Because I really don't know where to start.

hi, baby! first of all, i'm feeling a little better every day but it's a thing i'm still working on. how are you?

here i'm gonna leave you my favorite fics of every character from mayans mc and i hope you like them! 💖

angel reyes:

a miracle. this is the fluffiest thing i have ever written, just angel and reader having one of those moments that melt your heart.

you and me against the world. this is based on after ez was put in jail. reader and angel meet again and it's extra fluffy too.

the proposition. i forgot about this one lol this is a series of three chapters and i really love it.

canche (and bishop):

two roads. in this one, reader (bishop's daughter) and canche are secretly dating until bishop discovers it. angst and fluff as fuck.

che taza romero:

lose to win. this shit is painful as fuck and it's my favorite fic. taza is dealing with Riz's death and he basically puts it on reader by giving her the silent treatment. it's writing in first person, because i wanted to give my point of view. i cry just at the thought of it.

like mother like daughter. in this one, Taza and reader's daughter is the protagonist. the one-year-old baby is really close to her dad to the point she can't live without him. this is fucking fluff to the highest level.

ezekiel reyes:

and when she looks at me i swear i can't breathe. same here, ezekiel losing his ass for his newborn daughter.

twenty one seconds. smut. ezekiel can't have any kind of sexual relationship with reader, and she thinks he wants to break up. but you know, happy ending. *wink wink*

gilly lopez:

should i try? this is a series of five chapters. just... read it. probably it will have a lot of grammar mistakes because it was one of the first things i posted here but fuck that, i'm proud of this shit.

hank tranq loza:

a drabble. clingiest fucking moment between tranq and reader. bishop almost throws his stomach out.

johnny coco cruz:

2+1 means family. coco introducing leti to reader. really beautiful.

just one night. this is a series of three chapters. angst as fuck with a happy ending.

why are you crying? same here, angst as fuck but with a happy ending. reader has been in love with coco since ever and one day he appears with his new girlfriend. just another bitch.

leticia cruz:

a family thing. reader defending leti. that's it. that's all. cute as hell.

marcus alvarez:

cosas de niños. fluff as fuck, just read it and enjoy it.

home, sweet home. domestic marcus attending his fam.

MICHAEL RIZ ARIZA. YOU HAVE TO READ EVERY SINGLE WORK I HAVE WRITTEN FOR HIM BECAUSE I SAY SO. YOU HEAR ME????? But you can start with keeping up with the arizas.

miguel galindo:

sorry doesn't fix everything. reader is his daughter and this shit is gonna break your heart, i'm not sorry, there's no happy ending here.

neron creeper vargas:

just one second. smut. reader is a firefighter and gets hurt. it was my first writing for him and i'm really proud. big chicago fire vibes here.

nestor oceteva:

i need you more. reader is his daughter and you know, nestor works too much and reader just wants to call his attention.

obispo bishop losa:

partner in crime. the before and after of being el presidente.

el rey de los mayas. i wrote this one yesterday???? based on season three. reader is the fucking queen.

texts. this is a series of four short chapters. sweet and really funny. i love it.

oscar ‘el oso’ ramos:

i've got my ticket and i'm gonna go home. this is a little painful because reader is pregnant of oscar and he has to hide her in santo padre from the dea. and they're separated for a long, long time. but it has a happy ending.

special editions with all of them:

mayans mc x reader. this masterlist contains drabbles with different plots and all of them. my favorite is the first day of school, not gonna lie.

how they would react to: part one and part two.

halloween week.

headcanons week.

november of drabbles.

random scenes.

i've been a whole fucking hour creating this post, i hope it helps you 😂

[ultfreakme]

Akashi’s horribly portrayed DID

KNB is a good show for the most part, but the overt homophobia by one of the main cast, the caricaturized representation of black people and the horrible, horrible portrayal of mental illness, very specifically Akashi’s condition, is just- No. That’s all I can say; No. 

I want to ensure fic writers do not follow in those footsteps and hopefully do better than Tadatoshi(the bar is in hell). 

Disclaimer: I am not an expert in Dissociative Identity Disorder, I am not diagnosed with it, neither do I have any friends diagnosed with DID and it’s pretty much consensus that anyone without DID will never be able to get it right without extensive research and actually talking to people with DID. But I do want some semblance of accuracy and want to motivate people to research so I’m writing this. Also it’s about a 99% guarantee that all of us will get the portrayal absolutely wrong unless we do some intense research and retcon some canon stuff.

Now, let’s start with everything KNB got wrong about DID, or fell into stereotypes to describe it. 

1. The Eye Colour changing thing

Yes KNB is unrealistic as fuck about basketball with streaks of lightning come out of people’s eyes but Akashi’s eye colour changing is actually a portrayal of a huge stereotype/myth about people with DID. Eye colours do not change fr for people with DID. 

2. Akashi Emperor Eye ‘powers’

Emperor Eye borders on supernatural as a skill, honestly all of Akashi is portrayed more like a supernatural entity than a high school boy. Emperor Eye falls into the “Alters/parts have superpowers” stereotype. They don’t, but I guess it’s a little dismissable because all of GoM have ridiculous supernatural b-ball skills. If you are writing Emperor Eye, please write it the way you write Kise’s copies or Midorima’s 3-pointers, it’s just another skill and not a side effect or rooted in Akashi’s DID.

3. Alters are not violent

This one sucks because Akashi’s introductory scene is him trying to stab Kagami. Alters are not predisposed to violence or inherently violent. Alters have reasons for their actions. They don’t just go around threatening people and being imposing to strangers. If, IF you want to show this, make it have purpose and give it real good cause. 

4. Alters are not ‘other selves’

Alters/parts of individuals with DID are note different versions of the ‘original’(inaccurate term btw). They are whole people by themselves. Write alters like you do regular people. They have their own likes, dislikes, hobbies, preferences. They also have different sexualities, gender, etc. 

5. It is almost impossible for people to detect that a person has DID

Most likely you will never be able to tell if something is wrong with a person with DID, especially that they have HAVE DID. The disorder develops as a way for individuals to make it through life more easily so if the disorder is causing lots of trouble with living, then it defeats the purpose. People will notice that something is off about the person, but they won’t ever be able to tell what’s up.

Added to that; switches are mostly never dramatic, you won’t be able to tell when it’s happening. You’d probably barely notice it as an outsider. 

6. DID development

It happens with repeated and consistent trauma during childhood and develops around 4-9 years of age. Any older than that and it is probably not DID. So Akashi must have had this disorder even before middle school and it went undiagnosed(in canon it’s still pretty much undiagnosed). We know Akashi grew up in a very harsh environment with his dad constantly expecting perfection, so it makes sense. But falling behind in b-ball was probably not what....’started’ it. Midorima does note there was something up with Akashi even before, There’s no...set point of time where there’s a dormancy and there isn’t. DID just exists. The match Murasakibara might have acted as a trigger but it wasn’t the only thing. 

I think I touched upon the major points?

The biggest problem with Akashi’s DID when writing for it in fics is that we never ever get a concrete label for it. It doesn’t fall into DDNOS but it isn’t exactly DID either so we have to work with what we have. One thing that we all probably need to address is that we should stop calling Akashi-gold-eyes as the ‘other self’ or ‘other Akashi’ because alters generally have different names or identities. They can be very similar to the host’s name but from what I’ve seen, they’ve never shared a name. 

Bokushi and Oreshi doesn’t work as different names because that’d be like calling someone named, let’s say ‘Oscar’, as I-scar and Me-scar.

(I tried to give them more distinct identities by giving who the fandom calls ‘Bokushi’ the name Seiichi but idk, I’m just trying here and it’s difficult to portray this disorder.)

One thing that was sort of gotten close to correct was Oreshi referring to Bokushi as his brother.

Another important thing is people can't just switch on request. There's minimal control over who fronts.

One advice I do my best to stand by when writing Bokushi is I write him as if he were a different person. Write Bokushi the way you write Kuroko, Kagami, any of the GOM, etc. 

Do not take just this as anything useful but use this as a starting point to learn about DID so we could all just do a little better. Here’s someone who has DID with a channel dedicated to educating people: They are DissociaDID and they are so freaking informative but also calming and genuinely entertaining to watch.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6kFD5xIFvWyLlytv5pTR1w

Let’s all try to do better. 

Update: Someone in our fandom did do a comprehensive run down of Akashi’s DID: Links’s here: https://akashi-obsessed.tumblr.com/post/173473977394/an-analysis-on-akashi-seijurrou

[chaotically-cas]

May I have some directors commentary on Freckled Stars because I know you did research and stuff and I know you worked really hard on it and it came out great. So like. Idk what was the process like, and did you draw from any life experiences? IDK just talk about it its honestly so good

Hi again! Thank you!!

Now you see, I’ve forgot so much of my childhood it’s kinda funny. But I guess one of the main things I remember is just like. Idk. The subtle activities. & even though it’s really not the same thing, I think writing the fic came naturally cause I can kinda relate to the fact of falling out of a religion? In a way? Idk I really don’t remember much. Sometimes I feel like it’s cheating to say I was fully raised Jewish when I can only really remember 3-4 distinct memories from that part. Yet somehow I think I was still able to draw from some life knowledge? But I truly don’t want to like. Misconstrue anything. I’m not Jewish now & coupled with the fact that I don’t remember much, I felt a bit out of place writing with without as much insight & research as possible. So the article you sent me was really helpful. I also looked through a few other Jewish history in Tulsa articles, as well as just. 60’s Jewish history in general? I’ve never been to a bar/bat mitzvah myself or actively participated in any Jewish holidays/traditions besides Hanukah but that’s still a blur lmao. So idk I did a good bit of reason on the traditions & norms for that. How it works in more detail & furthering my knowledge on where those things come from. As far as writing the Pony & Randy of it all, you were very helpful with insight on that. It’s a ship I’ve never written or thought too much about it before so being able to explore it in a way that wasn’t just a fluff with, a fic with more background, was pretty fun. I really like Randy as a character & I’m excited to be able to expand on him more if I make the part 2 (which I hope to). & then maybe see exactly how pathetic they are & how both of them managed to hang onto their religions through the years. Especially considering the ties to both their parents. Randy struggling to stay with it by his fathers pressure & Pony because his internal pressure to not lose the last bits of his mom. So yeah. It was really fun to write & research. Educate myself while indulging in a new favorite hc (thank you deeply btw). But with that being said, I couldn’t have done it without you. & now this sounds like an Oscar speech or something #wrap it up Cas but truly thank you, you did inspire me a lot & im so very glad it was well received. Thank you!

Again I just wanna make it clear that I’m not/wasn’t really ever Jewish. I just leeched off it with the people in my life who were & who practically raised me in a lot of ways. So. Idk. Call that what you will but I just wanna say that while I do have first hand knowledge, it is limited lolz. Idk I just wanna make it clear so I don’t speak over actually Jewish voices.

[dawniebb]

CANON IS AN ILLUSION PT. 2

If it doesn’t spark joy, throw it away.- Marie Kondo

So now that @healing-winston-pratt and I have explained how we got rid of ¼ of Supernova, let me tell you that it doesn’t stop here because you don’t mess with the type As when something gets into their heads.

For background, you can use this post as a masterlist because we don’t have one yet: https://healing-winston-pratt.tumblr.com/post/624723862884696064/well-this-is-the-last-piece-of-our-marathon

This is our post-Supernova canon divergence :) which, btw, it’s the one we’ll use from now on to create our content (actually, @healing-winston-pratt  already used it for her birthday drawings and I just stood there playing dumb pretending I didn’t have anything to do with it jssjjs). So, if you see that Callum and Winston are suddenly alive in our content or you find some of the things established in this list it’s because...yeah :)

Sooooo @novadreamer95438 and @idkimbadwithusernamesandstuff you asked to be tagged if we uploaded more content about the canon divergence (Which we appreciate very much! thank you!) so here you go <3!

As mentioned before , Leroy starts living with his daughter Nova and Winston, in a house provided by the State (The Council hee hee).

Callum and Winston are (evidently) alive, but Genissa is dead.

Ace, Evander and Honey remain dead.

And this is where our canon continues uwu.

Leroy has to do community service for like...indefinite time :)

Winston, on the other hand, has two jobs. He works in an animal shelter, where he adopts a dog named Carnival bc wE CAN and also we want to quote this post :https://chiyuki-hiro.tumblr.com/post/621159663188180992/oh-no-a-head-canon  by @chiyuki-hiro (AFGSHFVDGB THAT HEADCANON IS G R E A T WE LOVE YOU) because we had come to an agreement that Winston would have an art therapy group for children but this addition is honestly so freaking wholesome :’))))))) <3

Nova has a temporary resignation from patrolling and starts going to therapy, where she is diagnosed with PTSD.

Nova also helps with the establishment of a new system, modifies the recruitment system and that stuff.

She’s not in the Team Sketch full time. Sometimes she’s in the offices, and at night she works with Callum.

And just like Narcissa, she digs her own grave :)

Thing is: Nova suggested that every time a new recruit arrived, the Council had DNA samples taken from them so they could check if they had any crime attached to them.

Now, by the end of Supernova in the canon universe we elected to ignore it is mentioned that Maggie sees Leroy staring at her in the distance, in a very suspicious way. Now, we don’t know about y’all, but we interpreted this as Leroy noticing Maggie looks like young Nova XD. So, this does happen in our canon, when Leroy is already out of prison.

By this time, DNA samples from Maggie and Nova have already been taken and uploaded to the system; and let’s say that Leroy gets very...concerned about the lookalike and decides to tell Winston, who confirms Maggie looks a lot like Nova X’DDD and so, they reach out to the Council to ask them to pls compare Maggie’s samples to Nova’s. U know, like angry mothers at the principal’s office :)

And so they do it just because they have nothing to lose.

And when the results arrive, everyone’s like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r92hykpvZRw

SO MAYBE, TO DOUBLE-CHECK, they compare Maggie’s DNA to DNA found in the crime scene (from David and Tala or maybe baby Maggie herself) and the results are still the same :).

Then, Winston and Leroy have to tell Nova and she reacts in the worst way possible for reasons I’ll explain in a fic I’ll be uploading soon cause’ I wrote it MONTHS ago.

Maggie doesn’t react much better tbh :)

But after a while, since this is, like, the right thing to do, Maggie starts living with them , but changes her name to Margaret Artino until she feels part of the family and is comfortable living there.

Because at first, Nova and her don’t get along and Maggie claims she fucking hates this house even though she knows is better than living in the streets.

They basically have a very chaotic home during the adaptation period until the girls start tolerating each other :) and even then, they’re still very chaotic bc it’s Winston, Leroy, Nova and Maggie we’re talking about :) :) :)

Not long after Maggie starts living with her big sis, Simon and Hugh ask Nova to join a family vacation and bring Maggie w/her.

Maggie doesn’t want to go, so Leroy and Winston go to Nova all like “If your sister doesn’t go, then you’re not going either” and Nova fucking loses it so she ends up begging/forcing Maggie to go :)

They go to the beach in MATCHING OUTFITS bc Simon said so (LIKE IN THE WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE MOVIE) :) they take a lot of embarrassing pictures and Nova and Adrian are forced to go in the banana boat with Max and Maggie.

They fall and Nova and Adrian are acting as if they were in the Titanic while Max and Maggie are having the time of their lives lmao

BC NOVA ALSO NEEDS BONDING WITH THE IN-LAWS

At some point, too, Maggie adopts a stray cat whom she names Tofu, and he fucking hates Carnival even though Carnival is the cutest thing :’)

Winston, Leroy, Nova and Maggie celebrate birthdays every year bc they’re trying to compensate years of trauma.

And for that same reason (compensating years of trauma), Nova and Maggie take their sweet time to move out.

Actually, Adrian meticulously plans the date when he’s gonna propose to Nova, so he asks her to move with him exactly a year before that.

They live in an apartment for that whole year, he proposes and they start planning the wedding uwu.

Nova and Adrian have a non-religious ceremony, and since they’re fucking extra, Nova gets married in a black dress and Adrian in a white tuxedo bc miss Artino wanted a dress the same color as her soul :)

Leroy walks Nova down the aisle.

Ruby is Nova’s Maid of Honor and Oscar is Adrian’s Best Man.

Max and Maggie have the rings.

Tamaya’s youngest son is the flower child.

Which, talking about Tamaya, she fucking hates Leroy and Nova bc, honestly, we would hate them too. Leroy fucked up her face and Nova was part of the terrorist attack lmao

SO, YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW CHAOTIC THAT WEDDING WAS, bc they had to avoid leaving Tamaya and Leroy alone at all costs :)

She hugged Nova so violently when congratulating her, that she left a bruise in her shoulder :)

Basically she was there just because she loves Adrian even though she doesn’t approve his decision to marry Nova

Nova and Maggie maintain a close relationship even after Nova marries Adrian. Maggie and Max are included in every family vacation after the honeymoon ofc.

Nova and Maggie get matching tattoos uwu

Nova has the Big Dipper and Maggie has the Little Dipper.

As for the others. The ones who...are no longer there :’)

  @healing-winston-pratt and I have this headcanon that Evander’s wife (we named her Sandra) was expecting a baby at the time of the battle. They had already chosen a first name (Arthur), so she used Evander as his middle name, as the baby didn’t get to meet his dad.

Arthur Evander Wade.

Winston finally gives Evander his DS back.

The Council, thanks to Nova’s suggestion once again, limited a specific area around Georgia’s spot and called it The Aisle of The Fallen.

Genissa, Honey and the victims of the attack to the Arena,  the lift of the city and the battle of the Cathedral are there.

 Evander, however, is resting in Georgia’s mausoleum, next to her, because we think  that mausoleum was constructed in the first place so all the members of the Council could rest together once they left, meaning that they’ll all be there at some point in time. Unfortunately, Evander was the first one to join Georgia despite being the youngest.

Ace is not in the cemetery.

Nova left his helmet in the cathedral, but asked for his body to be cremated.

When she was a child, David used to tell her stories about how Ace seemed to be really happy back in Italy; how he had revolutionary ideas and wanted prodigies to be free; how he used to be a good brother that helped him survive.

So, a few months after Leroy was released from prison, she, Leroy, Winston, Hugh, Simon, Max and Adrian went to Italy with her, to spread Ace’s ashes so he could find peace in the only place he was ever sane and happy.

Ace Anarchy rests in his cathedral.

But what was left of Alec James Artino rests in Italy. (I have a fic about this too)

Yes we’re crying as we write this

[thatfizzyyyy]

Last Line Tag

I was tagged by @maximised !! Thanks :)

This is from a fic I started writing btw it's rose of versailles oscar x rosalie and it's called bread tastes better in paris and it's on ao3 so uh🧍🏾‍♀️if ur interested🧍🏾‍♀️ anyways🏃🏾‍♀️

Andre put a hand on her shoulder. "You didn't have to do that."

"I didn't do that for you." Oscar said. Which was true. But would she have ever challenged her father like that if she hadn't met Andre and Rosalie? "That's not important right now. We have to think of a plan."

They couldn't mess up. Not with so much on the line. The two spent almost an hour devising their plan. Was it perfect? Not by a long shot. But Oscar just couldn't wait any longer.

I tag: anyone! yes.... you are not immune to open tag.... but only if u want ofc!!

[isitandwonder]

Hi. Did you, at some point, believe in Charmie and A&T relationship? Because you have written so superb fics bout them (dont mentioning looot of sex between them in those fics 😊 ). And now it looks like you are quite disgusted by charmie fandom and also by Armie too.. So when did you change your mind (if there of course was any changing of mind)?

Hi nonnie!

I think I talked about this before but anyway...

Yes, at some point at the end of 2017/beginning of 2018 when the promo was in full swing, I did believe there was/had been something happening between these two.

What started to change my mind though was in February 2018 when they returned to Crema and Liz was there and said they made Ford there (I remember we discussed her being at almost every awards red carpet and promo event before, as some kind of no homo device)... I was so confused. This couldn’t be right! T & A had been hanging out all by themselves during the filming, they’d been the only two English speaking people in town (lol, sorry, but Crema is not a small Sicilian village in the 1950s, I’ve been there), they’d bonded deeply... they told us all about  that!

I’m still grateful to the person pointing out that Liz and Harper had been there most of the filming... then gradually more and more ‘came to light’: that Will had been there before filming, that Tim had hung out with some locals (even a kind of gf was mentioned), stuff like that. That started to burst my bubble.

I confess, I had a shit day accepting that it had all been a fantasy because at that point they seemed so cute and right together. They sold that pretty well and I’m not mad at them - it was me who got in too deep, they just promoted their film. And wasn’t it easy to see all these bluring lines and believe in them?

Anyway, once you see the ‘cracks’ you start to question and see more. Things like Armie cancelling the Asia promo tour; saying he ‘sucked dick on film’, reducing cmbyn to THAT.

So I accepted it had been just a fantasy, but still shipped them as in ‘I like to imagine them together though I know it’s not real’. That’s were most of my fics come from, because these stories are pure fiction; I made it all up.

I think then came TIFF and those IG stories - they were clearly taking the piss at shippers, but in a kind way, saying ‘we know what’s going on and don’t mind’. What secret couple posts such stories, I ask you? So I felt validated in my shipping because they were okay with it.

When did I fall out of love with Armie though? I think it started right after the Oscars with above mentioned incidents. He was never my type anyway, I’m all here for the twinks :). He really only does things for me in the contrast he provides to Tim. 

But then I learned more and more about him. His weird family. The way he was okay with how Liz pimped out their kids on her IG (because, come on, if a father doesn’t want that he can make it stop. Now it looks like he used Liz to sell the image of the perfect American family). His fights and ramblings on social media.

I still truly think there was a window for him that he could have used to stear his life and career in a different direction. I still believe cmbyn was a huge formative experience for him. For a while, something changed. Maybe it was all PR bla bla, but maybe not. He dared to accept a stage role after it. He made STBY, which I haven’t seen but people say he was very good in. But then he fell back into old patterns.

I became indifferent to Armie. But then he went to Saudi Arabia. And that was it. I can’t support someone who does what he did. Oliver would at least be whipped there, if not executed; Armie is a gay icon after portraying that beloved character. That’s a responsibility. All he had to do was not go to SA. I don’t expect big political statements - but why did he go there for a government event? Sorry, that was the final nail to the coffin.

But, you know, I still could ignore him. I followed Tim who is goofy and kind and weirdly smart and a great actor. I confess, I speculated about his sexuality (always traveling with male friends, no gf, taking his mum or sister to awards) - but then the Lily thing started - and I was happy for him. Someone his age, who knows about life in the limelight, with whom he could share his life.

And that’s when shit hit the fan. You know, I don’t know either Armie or Tim and what they do has no real influence on my life. But I knew a lot of people on here. I’d been with cmabn since 2017; I’ve written some well liked stories. But suddenly many people I used to have fun with, I thought were my friends, for which I wrote stories - they totally freaked out and behaved abysmal. They sent hate to Tim, to fellow fans. They bullied people really badly on here. Many deleted stories or blogs. And the worst was - these mutuals of mine thought that funny. They were proud of their shitty behavior. They started to scream at anyone doubting Tim was gay and in love with Armie. I got death threats for pointing out that maybe T&A played their friendship up a bit during cmbyn promo.

And almsot no one stopped these people destroying what had been a fun small fandom. Almost no one said to these people ‘Calm down, stop it’. Instead, these people, who used to be my mutuals, congratulated themselves on how efficiently they harrassed Tim on IG and fellow fans on here. I remember a person who told me to my face they loved me first ridiculing Tim and in the end sending vile hate to me.

That’s why I can’t support Charmie any longer. Because of these scumbags of fans. Hating on Tim is one thing, he has people working for him, sadly, these things happen to anyone in the industry. But hating on fellow fans just because some don’t follow a certain narrative BNFs made up? That, to me, is unforgivable.

Therefore, I now delight in how their King Armie is exposed as just another straight white man, cheating on his wife (and maybe doing worse). He debased himself going to SA, and I really don’t know how people who profess to love cmbyn and it’s message can still support him after that. Then he showed his privileged white ass during quarantine. And now those Biden tweets.

Seriously?

I know many on here just ignore these things. I can’t do that. I can’t forget what he did. I can’t support someone like that, who has no principles, either privately or politically (and maybe even sexually assaulted a woman).

And what really did it for me is that Armie can do all these despicable things and people still love and defend him him (a grown man and father of 33) - while Tim just has some gfs, or buys bagels, or carries his guitar - and people ridicule and hate and cancel him for it.

He did nothing wrong despite not living up to the narrative some very rude people who don’t know him wrote for him! But suddenly he’s the whipping boy for them. Because he’s into girls (like Armie, btw).

I just can’t with that. I can’t with the hate spread on here. I can’t with the motives showing behind this narrative, the sexism, the homophobia, the misogyny, the racism... I have to laugh when I read the eulogies some write here about the deep, true, pure, everlasting love between A&T that will win in the end (sorry, I’m not 13 anymore, and neither are the people who write this); I also can’t with the ideas of fucking someone so hard for real they can’t walk anymore (fic is different from reality, you know). It is either pathetic, embarrassing, or truly disturbing.

And I really, really hate these people breaking the fourth wall. You NEVER tweet to the actors about your conspiracy theories! You never harrass them on SM! You never insult their friends, business partners, SOs. And you don’t, never, ever bully some small local businesses during an economic crisis because they dared to burst your bubble.

If you support Charmie - you support this behavior. I don’t. And as being quiet has only led to the assholes taking over - I now try a different strategy. If people don’t like it they can unfollow.

Sorry, these last few days have shown just how unhinged some Charmies are. I know some had planned actions against Tim at The King red carpet in London (and thankfully didn’t realize them). I really don’t put it past some of them to now truly become violent against Tim at some event, in the name of the greater good of Charmie. They are completely bonkers.

I’ve seen threats against me and others in different forums as well. People want to make us pay for what we did (like, what did we do?). People call for their followers to take action against us. I have no idea what they will or can do, as I’ve lost so much within this fandom already (fics, followers, friends) but as they are truly mental I expect the worst. It’s not that I’m afraid but it’s still a weird feeling to see people talk about you like this... because you don’t like an actor. Or don’t think he’s gay...

Yeah, so, that was surely more than you bargained for.

[jaemallow]

@moonlit-jeno @moonlit-minho @starlit-jaemin @cocoa-minho

Right. *slaps table* RIGHT. Ivy, Ivy ivy....

IVY. Walmart Jeno, the most adorable human on this planet, ice bear.

Sometimes I wonder how we started talking and I remember that day that I sent in an ask saying I LOVED your blog and you were like omg!! I love yours too!! And I was like ....is this girl pulling my tAIL ?! And NO you weren’t and as days went on- btw I actually don’t remember how she started dming each other again aha 😀 I’m pretty sure you started sending me pics and I was like omgg my thoughts are running wild and from that day on we talked ?? Somehow everyday and I don’t mean just hi hello Jeno can break my back bye I mean proper convo?? And idk where it came from but I found myself waking up EVERYDAY going ooh I wonder how my new friend is and like seeing your messages and then it evolved from friendly convo to like aggression djsjsk uno it went from ‘omg Jeno Haechan’ to ‘JEENOOOOOOOO JAAEEMIIINNNN’ and I think that’s the sexiest glow up of all time. Anyway!! The first time I found your blog I was just a lone wondering soul, looking for a place to anchor (an oasis, if you will) — and g i r l did I hit a jackpot. ‘Love Sick’ ... ‘Rainy Day’ .... ‘every single Jaemin piece you’ve ever written’ MA’AM?? WHO SAID YOU COULD BE SHAKESPEARE REINCARNATED?? Literally Jane Austin w h o?? Oscar Wilde w h o?? Lewis Carroll w h o?? I only know Queen Ivy and that’s it 😳✋🏼. Literally idk how you DO it,, day after day after day you’re busting out little scenarios with every ask you answer and inspiring someone literally left right and centre and Ive just noticed I say literally a lot sndjsj writing fics worthy of the...fic....hall...of fame....nct...section (?) and somehow we always always ALWAYS end up clicking and agreeing and talking about the right things I mean i could pull up some RANDOM ass thing that I like and you’d be like !!!!!ME TOO!!! And I’m like SISSS AHHHH- the Moonie ivy list: Percy Jackson, the mortal instruments, the weeknd, hating the line from cant feel my face, peaches and mangoes superior!!, Ivy making a typo and me absolutely clowning for her it, being the nomin of the fandom, making everyone think she’s ?? Scary ?? and a ?? Dom ??, completely destroying me by writing and sending me Jaemin things, me completely destroying her by making and showing her Jeno things, helping me through writing fics, starting (!! couldn’t have done ANYTHING without her!!) fics and pushing through fics, thirsting over jands (both 💀), jecks....jaces...j-thighs, jabs, j...awlines lmao, jiiiiic-, that PICTURE of JAEMIN back STAGE, there’s so much but suddenly my brains decided to remind me penguins hve knees hey did you know that? penguins have knees look it up it’s so weird— HEY ACTUALLY owls have long legs too omg it’s really cool, So, the point is, I am ve r y very very very very glad i sent in that ask that day, and that we started talking, and that I got to be friends with you and you’ve helped me through SO much everytime I need to cry and scream you’re always there and you listen and vice versa, you can always count on me to be here for you!! I love you lots and lots and lots and lots bby, Happy ivy Day ☺️💝💝

[brightly-painted-canvas]

(mazlek) - first "I love you"?

Anon, I don’t even know how but this general prompt became something along the lines of those ‘four times + one time’ fic I secretly (or not so secretly?) adore. I also wrote a lot (again). I hope you don’t mind :)WARNING for a bit of angst/hurt-comfort at some point! Be careful!Also posted on AO3

Four times Joe said ‘I love you’ to Rami and one time Rami said it first

The first time happens in 2008, on set of ‘The Pacific’.

Despite being autumn in Australia, the weather is still hot and humid where they are filming, especially since the set is flooded with fake rain water and mud and they are constantly drenched, completely splattered. Assistants and helpers run around with buckets and water pumps with shower heads to spray them every chance they get during breaks between takes and it doesn’t feel nice. In fact it feels miserable and awful.

The only relief the actors get comes in the shape of popsicles, safely stored inside freezers under the production canvas tents.

In a whole week of production, they have already consumed so many of them the assistants had to restock three times and each day they come closer and closer to completely run out of popsicles for all cast and crew.

One fateful day, as Joe gets a break long enough to move away from set and join some of the other cast mates under one of their assigned tents, he realises there are no more icicles left.

As soon as he opens the freezer to find it empty he lifts his head in disbelief and looks around to call someone from the production and ask if maybe there are other popsicles in some other tents.

“Sorry, seems like we run out.” says one girl, looking mortified.

“Here, have mine.” comes a familiar voice from behind him and as Joe turns around, he’s being offered a still packaged popsicle from Rami: “I got given one, but I don’t mind.” explains the other actor, smiling encouragingly.

Joe’s troubled expression immediately morphs into one of pure gratitude as he takes the wrapped popsicle from Rami’s hand and thanks him profusely: “Man, I think I love you!” he adds, making the rest of the cast and crew snicker and smile.

“Joe’s like a dog, promising eternal love to everyone who gives him food.” comments Brendan from his chair and everyone laughs. Joe is not even bothered.

Maybe Rami is a little red on the cheeks, but he’s covered in so much mud and filth that no one notices.

The second time happens some years later in the form of a text.

They hadn’t seen each other in something like a whole year as they are both busy filming and auditioning and preparing role after role, one in LA and the other in New York, but they sometimes exchange texts and there’s the occasional phone call here and there.

It’s been months since the last one though, so when Rami gets a message that only says ‘I love you’ he looks at his phone in confusion, not daring to breathe, not daring to jump to conclusions.

‘Joe?’ he writes back, looking around like he doesn’t recognise his own living room in his and Sami’s flat, like maybe he’s being pranked? Maybe he’s dreaming?

‘Sorry wrong text! But how are you, my dude?’ and Rami can sigh in relief but also he can be a bit disappointed as he types a reply.

Joe is in a chatty mood because he soon texts back: ‘Cool. I miss you. And btw I DO love you! You know that!’ and Rami thinks that Joe’s still Joe.

And at least that managed to make him smile.

The third time Joe is crying hard, sobbing into the crook between Rami’s bicep and forearm while being cradled against the other actor’s chest as he breaks down completely on set, in full costume. Like he would care. (He doesn’t, not right now, not when…)

Rami is holding him close and firmly, warm and reassuring, putting his own sadness and grief aside to be there for him. A solid presence in the form of a hug, skinny but strong arms around his trembling body, whispers of comfort from lips brushing his ear and forehead, against the fake hair of a fluffy wig.

He doesn’t know when he stops, when he sighs out a trembling breath and lifts his head to say: “I’m so sorry.” in the tiniest, most broken voice he’s ever mustered.

Rami is looking into his red wet eyes with a similar desperate look, but with such earnest empathy and affection Joe feels like crying again and again until he’s completely drained.

The other actor just shakes his head and tugs him close again, unable to speak, but knowing that the contact could help.

Knowing firsthand what this kind of grief feels like and what is at least supposed to help.

“I don’t know what to do.” confesses Joe again, closing his eyes and pushing his head against Rami’s chest, expensive Freddie Mercury’s replica of a costume be damned.

“It’s okay.” is Rami’s croaked reply, as he gathers his voice back and sniffs to hide his own tears.

“Thank you…” murmurs Joe and he’s holding Rami close as well now, circling his waist with his arms as they’re messily sprawled on the floor of some backstage room.

Maybe the grip is painful, maybe there’s even someone watching them.

Maybe Joe’s manager is waiting for him to get up and decide what he wants to do: finish shooting? Get changed and head back to his hotel room? Take the first flight back to New York and be with his mom and his brothers?

Have you decided, Joe? What do you want to do? How do you feel?

What will do you, from now on?

Fuck all. Fuck everything.

Maybe he’s saying all of this out loud or maybe this is all in his confused and despairing mind, but he only feels his shattered heart being torn over and over and his breath coming out in irregular, painful puffs of air.

Maybe Rami is trying to talk to him too but he’s mostly just holding him, swaying back and forth slightly, one hand on his back and the other covering his head, shielding him.

“I love you.” he whisper quietly and he doesn’t know if he wants to be heard or not, if it’s the right moment to say it (it’s not), if Rami cares or if he understands what this love means right now.

“I know.” is the even quieter reply and Joe just sighs and lets himself be held as he cries and cries and cries again and curses destiny and distance and illness and missing someone so damn much already.

The fourth time they’re listening to the radio as they drive up and down the hills of LA, already dressed to the nines for this or that ceremony, for this or that award.

Some Billy Joel tune from the 80s fades and suddenly there’s the rhythmic sound of piano keys being pushed and a rolling of drums so familiar they both whoop enthusiastically and start signing as soon as Freddie does: “Ooh, you make me live!”

“This is our song!” exclaims Joe, turning the volume up: “How did they know?”

Rami just smiles and keeps singing and they both are almost screaming as they get to the higher notes of: “Ooh, you make me live now honey!” and as Joe takes a curve a bit too quickly.

They laugh for how the bumps in the roads make singing difficult.

“Oh, you’re the best friend that I ever had.” sings Freddie from the radio: “I’ve been with you such a long time, you’re my sunshine,” and Joe joins in, eyes on the road: “And I want you to know that my feelings are true.”

He turns quickly so he can look into Rami’s eyes as Freddie suggests him to sing: “I really love you.” with a nice relaxed smile that matches the one Rami is sporting.

“Oh, you’re my best friend.” concludes Freddie without them, because Joe can’t take his eyes away from the passenger seat’s occupant and Rami has to snicker and hide a blush and tell him to please watch the road.

The first time it happens Rami has a new shiny gold statuette in his left hand and a glass of champagne in his right hand and he’s surrounded by people cheering for him and congratulating him but he, honestly now, only has eyes for Joe since he came into the post-Oscars party room.

He looks tipsy but most importantly he looks happy. Ecstatic. Stunningly beautiful. And the best thing is that he deserves every second of it. He’s worked hard all his life to get to this and now he has it. Now he’s an Oscar winner.

Joe is looking at him from afar, knowing Rami is searching for him in the crowd but wanting to tease him a bit, to play hide-and-seek like two kids in a sea of people they maybe know only a small percentage of. And so he keeps close to Ben and Gwilym and waits for Rami to hug and shake hands with this actress and that producer as he slowly gets to them.

He even lets his friends and co-actors congratulate him first, hiding a smirk behind his own glass of champagne as he notices the desperate looks Rami is throwing his way now that he know where he is, now that he’s got him pinned and he can’t escape.

He’s the one who has to hug Rami close with his empty hand and they all laugh when Rami clinks Joe’s champagne flute with the statuette instead that with his own half empty glass.Suddenly Rami is whispering in his ear how he’s glad Joe is there with him because he’s a little bit drunk already and he can’t wait to be home and to be taken home by his Joe.

They look into each other’s eyes and suddenly there’s a lump in Joe’s throat and he know what it is but it’s making saying the words so damn difficult all of the sudden.

Rami, who had been able to read him like an open book and communicate with him without needing words for more than 10 years, just nods and duck his head in the sweetest way as he says: “I love you.” first and for the first time.

Joe’s out of breath for a moment and then he’s replying: “I love you too.” like he’s never said something truer and more precious.

“Congratulations.” he adds and Rami is smirking and they’re hugging again, in the middle of the ball room, the other actor’s head on Joe’s shoulder.

[mystech-master]

given that you talked about making fanfics before have you ever thought of writing a fanfic where BBTAG was a serious story. and I believe that the persona 4 group would treat ragna well even after they find out about the black beast thing

dude, I have been imagining ALL the possibilities of a more serious BBTAG story.

1. No “Cross Tag Tournament” bullshit, System is more emotionless A.I. like he is in the prologue. The combat data would be gotten from them fighting the monsters of their worlds (Seithr Beasts, Shadows, Voids, and Grimm)

2. Everyone is at their most up to date in canon: Post CF Blazblue characters, post Arena Ultimax or Dancing All Night Persona cast, I have no idea about UNi’s timeline, and post Volume 5 RWBY (If we take them at Beacon arc they will not be able to handle the serious shit of the other worlds and I refuse to anime-up team RWBY like they did in BBTAG. Ruby is NOT that fight happy).

3. The conflicting morals of the morally gray Blazblue characters with the rest of the cast, especially “Power of Friendship/Bonds” masters The Investigation Team.

4. Shadow selves for the other cast members, dealing with Voids from UNi (remember, Voids can only be seen by In-Births and the only way to become an In-Birth you need to have a Void eat some of your existence which risks you becoming a Void), the Grimm homing in on negativity. Just imagine this: all the jerkass characters in the series have to be NICE or at least non-confrontational otherwise they risk pissing people off and attracting Grimm. That sounds entertaining to me.

5. Bad guy alliances: as of the timelines I mentioned the antagonists are/could be: Hazama, Relius, Azrael, Carl (now a mini-Relius), no Persona villains because they are either dead (Strega) or have been subjected to “Power of Friendship” (Adachi and Sho, the later is more a rival now, he’s chilled out at the end of Ultimax), Hilda, Chaos, Gordeau (sort of an anti-villain due to him just being a mercenary now), Joker, Uzuki, Enkidu, Carmine (sort of a rival b/c remember “Tryhard Loser”), Zohar, Byakuya and Strix/Tsukuyomi (more a neutral party), Cinder, Emerald, Mercury, Tyrian, Watts, Hazel, Adam, and Neo (not too sure on Salem as we’ve yet to see her do much herself).

6. This would be the most bullshit thing but I don’t care this is my fic idea: System also brings a few dead characters back to gain more data, under the criteria of “Gathering souls who’ve had influence over their world’s fate” or some shit, like how the BB cast were the “Chosen” in BBCF. Bullshit? Yes. Disrespectful to some of their sacrifices (especially considering the P3 Cast)? A bit. But with this idea then we can have the characters in the actual game in the story (like Hakumen and Nine, then we could have Pyrrha, Penny and Torchwick despite it being post Vol 3). Plus then we could have Strega there as Persona villains, just imagine the Shadow Operatives rubbing it in their faces that they stopped the Fall. But one more thing, I am NOT bringing back Terumi at least not until like the last act or whatever), because then there would be this bullshit where the BB cast can act like total shits because anything goes against an enemy as bad as Terumi. Them pulling the “anyone can claim a moral high ground against an enemy like Terumi” isn’t something that I want to happen. Hence why I need the plot to be MORE serious than BBTAG, but not like Blazblue level serious, at least not at the beginning.

7. Just a massive team of all the heroes. If the Phantom Field is made up of their memories just imagine all 4 settings just fusing: Kagustsuchi, Ikaruga, Tatsumi Port Island, Inaba, Kanzakai, Vale and Mistral. Maybe a council of the good guy leaders: Kagura, Jin, Tsubaki, Rachel, Mitsuru, Linne, Wagner (higher ranked Licht Kreis member than Orie), and Ozpin (Oscar’s body being present would make things awkward, also not sure on Ironwood being brought here). Basically the leaders of that world’s big organization/secret society or whatever. The HQ would be a mimic of Kagustuchi’s N.O.L. Branch, the highest place (unless this world also has a Tartarus mimic). Other heroes would be more field agents/commanders: Yu, Ruby, etc.

btw: my idea has a bullshit thing where time isn’t passing in their worlds so they aren’t in a big rush to avoid worrying everyone. I know bullshit but I need some kind of reason.

There’s more ideas but they are more specific and I don’t feel like typing out a long list of shit. Plus I can only think of big events and relationships, coming up with the smaller events to link them all together, IDK.

[karenninaaa]

Twist of Fate (Peter Parker and Tony Stark fic -father-son relationship)

I need more Tony Stark and Peter Parker father son fic in my life. I felt like I read most of them and i’m still not satisfied. I read this fic in ao3 about Peter Parker being Tony’s son biologically and Peter didnt know it yet, so this fic was sort of inspired by that. I’ve been meaning to do a fic about them ever since I finished watching Spiderman: Homecoming  which was a long time ago. I just didn’t have the motivation to write but now I do so here it is. It’s Iron Man 3 altered btw, but following the canon of CA:CW and SM:H.

Summary: A single picture triggered Tony Stark to suspect that Peter Parker was his son, biologically.

Part 1

After a long day of boring meeting with the pain in the ass that was Ross in Washington D.C., Tony Stark didn’t expect to get a call from an unknown number as he slid in on the passenger’s seat of his car and as Happy drove them off the road.

He answered it anyway because he needed a diversion from feeling so pissed off with the said pain in the ass. Tony could swear that the pain-in-the-ass o-meter was always rising up every time he would meet him. Tony was doing his best to clean the resolution for the accords in favour of the Avengers but Ross was more like putting hot chilli sauce on it. He was about to shoot some snide comments when he heard a noise on the other line

“No, Ned! Why did you do that?! I told you we can figure this out on our own-”

Tony recognized easily the voice in the background. It was the squeaky voice belongs to a fifteen year old he knew too well, Peter Parker.

“But we clearly need his help, Peter!” This time it was another voice who spoke, a voice unfamiliar to him

Tony immediately connected to the AI on the suit of Peter. It was offline. Meaning he wasn’t out spidermanning and risking his neck for god who knows what. So the life and death situation was out of the list.

“We just have to improvise-”

“You can’t just do improvise on that! It’s a big week and people from another schools are coming! You have to come up with a cool stuff.”

Tony decided to speak or else, he’s betting all his assets that they wouldn’t finish arguing until he butt in “I hope you do realize that you are calling a person whose time is worth of gold, so stop wasting it and Mr. Parker, I thought we reached the mutual understanding that my number is branded classified, therefore it wasn’t supposed to be given out to a random people out there.”

Silence.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Stark.” Peter mumbled on the other line and then his voice went octave higher and spoke in a haste. “But that’s Ned, my bestfriend. I gave him your number for emergency purposes because he knows I’m Spiderman so-”

“Well, is this part of an emergency purpose? Why is he calling me?” Tony answered.

“No it’s not-”

“Yes, it is!” Ned butted in. “Peter it involves your grades, do you want to fail on it?”

“Of course not. We can’t afford nugget to have failing grades. What’s going on?” Tony put it on a loud speaker and put his phone on the storage box attached to the armrest of the car door. He leaned his elbow on the armrest as Happy glanced at his boss through the rear mirror.

“Peter was one of the students who got chosen to make a mini robot he can showcase on the robotics week on the school but he’s lacking some of the resources to use for it.” Ned answered.

“Wow, kid. I admire your lung capacity for air, how could you say all of that in one breath?” Tony said as he heard Peter groaning in the background and mumbling along those lines of bestfriend and traitor.

“Um, thanks? And I have no idea how…” Ned said uncertainly.

“What’s your name kid?”

“Ned.”

“Okay, Christopher, here’s what you’re gonna do” Tony said “You and your friend in crisis will go to the Avengers Facility, go straight to my lab, Friday and Pepper are there to assist you, and you have all the materials there that you would need for your howdy-dowdy techy project. Tell May that you will be there.”

There’s a beat of silence again

“OhmygodIamgoingtoo?” Ned said excitedly, words jumbling in his mouth.

But to Tony’s astonishment, he understood it. “Yes, I just said that.”

“PeterIamfinallygoingtothefreakingAvengersfa-”

There’s some sort of fumbling on the other end “Mr. Stark, you don’t have to do that,”

“But I did, Underoos. So don’t sweat it.” Tony looked at the window of the car.

“Thank you. It means so much-”

“All right, let’s cut the speech right there. You didn’t win the Oscars. Got the message. You’re grateful, I get it. Just do me a favor, don’t turn my lab into a war zone. I don’t want to see smoke coming out of the window far ahead.”

“Yes, Mr. Stark we will be careful. Thank you”

Tony hung up.

“Friday, look after the spiderling in the lab, will you?” Tony said.

“Sure thing boss.” Friday answered.

He sent Pepper a message with the same thought.

Then, he continued to gaze outside through the window, though after a while, he turned to Happy.“Tell you what Hap, let’s cancel the Gala Party later and head back Upstate.”

Happy smirked. “He’s growing on you, boss.”

“I heard nothing.” Tony faced the window again.

Tony wouldn’t admit this to anyone but he knew that something had already shifted the very first moment he set foot on the Parker apartment and met personally the crime fighting spiderling in onesies. He knew that the moment Tony invited him to Germany, the name Peter Parker was something that would stick on him like a super glue and there’s no undoing it. The genius billionaire was aware that he’s hauling in another responsibility despite being the emotionally crippled that he was. He knew the future consequences of his action. After all, he’s a futurist and well acquainted with that ‘C’ word. 

However, if there’s something he miscalculated –which was rare on his part, was the attachment that would spring out of the mentoring he appointed upon himself. With emotionally crippled being said, he just didn’t know to deal with all the sentiment that goes with that responsibility package he took, and since there was just no role model to look after. That attachment just got worst after all the flying vulture guy fiasco happened a month ago. God forbid what he would do if he just found Peter Parker lifeless somewhere. See, before Tony Stark knew it, he just chained himself to that –okay sometimes adorable spider kid. Tony let a tiny smile grace on his lips.

The night already came as Tony arrived at the facility. Friday immediately informed him that Peter was at the lounge area together with his friend and Pepper. Tony heard laughter as he neared the lounge area, there’s light in there that was slightly illuminating the dimmed hallway he’s walking in.

Tony stopped at the doorway, his hands on his pants’ pocket. Not from far away,Pepper was sitting at the sofa adjacent to where Peter Parker and his friend were sitting. There were opened boxes of pizza on the center table. Friday didn’t seem to alert them on his arrival as they seemed oblivious to his presence, and as they continued to laugh on something they were talking about. Pepper’s back was facing Tony so his fiancée didn’t see him just yet, but Peter Parker just did when his eyes widen on him.

“Mr. Stark!” Peter exclaimed.

Well, that was Tony’s cue for his entrance, he walked towards them. “Well, well, well. What is this? Why am I not invited to the mini patottie party we have here?”

Pepper twisted in her seat to look at Tony, a surprise look was etched on her face. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at the Gala dinner in Washington.”

“It was no fun so I decided not to go.” Tony sat on the armrest of the couch Pepper was sitting on.

“He cancelled on it.” Happy said waltzing in to the room.

“Yes, because it’s no fun.” Tony countered as he leaned forward to get the pizza slice on the box. He flicked off the red pepper on it before leaning back and taking a bite into it. Happy also got himself a slice and sat comfortably on the empty seat.

Pepper laughed “You are as bad as Peter, why do you hate red pepper so much.”

“I don’t hate you.” Tony looked at Pepper but he also glanced at Peter who was munching on his red pepper-less pizza. He also noticed the pile of sliced red pepper on the lid of the box. “At least Nickelback here has a superb taste to note that red peppers are disgusting on a pizza.”

“I know right!” Peter agreed, enthusiasm bubbling in the air “Hawaiian is so much better –no offense Miss Potts, I know you ordered the whole pizza and I appreciate it and I like it-”

“Yes and more pineapples!” Tony said.

“Yeah! Aunt May always add extra pineapples when we ordered pizza because she knows I love pineapples.”

“Huh. I knew I was going in for a right person when I recruited you to our super secret boy band.” Tony said pointing his slice on Peter and then he continued to eat it.

“Oh, here they go, starting geeking out again.” Pepper air-quoted the word geeking.

“I always thought that Pineapples are like the last option for the pizza inventors because they couldn’t think of anything to put on pizza, Pineapples are like off for toppings.” For the first time since Tony’s arrival, Ned spoke up.

“I couldn’t agree more to you, kid.” Happy said and Pepper nodded in agreement.

“You are talking blasphemy!” Tony stood as he picked up a napkin to wipe his hands after finishing his slice. “I couldn’t stand this anymore. Come on, Parker to the lab, how’s the techy project going on? Have you come up with something that would make Dum-E jealous?” Peter stood up to join Tony as they started to head out the lounge area.

“Eh, not really Mr. Stark.” Peter said bashfully. “But can I ask you about the coiling on an electromagnet? What do you think …” Peter’s voice drifted off as the two walked farther out the room.

Unknown to them, three set of eyes are looking at them fondly.

“If I didn’t know better” Ned said “I would think that Mr. Stark is the long lost father of Peter.”

Part 2