#<- after months and months the Website finally let me update this post to be properly tagged. hooray.

[chiropteracupola]

he is traveling on...

[lenasai]

this is one of the campaigns i spotlighted a while back. ghazi's campaign is progressing, but very slowly - too slowly for the circumstances he and his family are living through. €500-€1000 short term goals are taking an excruciatingly long amount of time to reach.

his situation, in his own words (emphasis mine):

When the war on Gaza began on October 7, 2023, my relatives and uncles took refuge in our house, thinking that it was the safe house, and 5 days after their displacement to us, the occupation carried out a brutal and violent bombardment on the neighborhood next to us. On the morning of Friday, 10/13/2023, the Zionist occupation called my older brother, asking him to escape, evacuate all the buildings of the entire neighborhood, and head to the south of the Gaza Strip. It was very suspicious and scary and we didn't know where to turn. We had to evacuate. I had to flee with my family to a safe area, leaving behind my neighborhood, my home, my shops, my work, my memories, literally everything. We took refuge with our relatives in Al-Maghazi camp, and 12 days after we were displaced, on 10/25/2023, the occupation bombed the bakery opposite the house in which we were displaced, and I was injured in my foot. On the left side and an injury, my brother suffered minor burns to her face, and the house became partially destroyed, but it is the only shelter we have, so we restored what we could to live in the house as much as possible. On November 4, 2023, warplanes targeted the bakery after it was destroyed again. Thank God, none of us were injured, and nothing was done here. We were able to restore, but we cleaned and sat down because there was no other place, and on the morning of Wednesday, January 3, 2024, the occupation made a sudden ground entry into Al-Maghazi camp, and here we were surrounded and we could not leave the house. There was no water, food or any other necessities of life. We just sat and heard the sounds of shelling, bullets and missiles. We are waiting for our turn to come. Until Sunday morning, January 7, 2024, we miraculously managed to leave Al-Maghazi under bombardment and took refuge in Rafah. I had no one or relatives there, and we built a tent to shelter me and my family. On May 28, 2024, we were displaced for the sixth time after nights and days of violent bombing on tents in Rafah’s Mawasi. They were displaced and we did not know where to run. I cannot describe the situation adequately; I think you've seen enough on the Internet. I lost my home, my shops, my family's source of income, and I was left with nothing. I have lost many friends over the past four months. However, I feel nothing but complete helplessness and inability to help my family. The feeling of helplessness is humiliating and painful, as negative thoughts dominate your thoughts, such as thinking about suicide or wishing for death to escape this feeling. But here I am breathing again and thinking of positive solutions in the face of crushing death. I'm trying to cling to life.

today, ghazi made an update: his campaign finally reached its €9,500 short term goal. the next one is €10,000. let's help him reach that goal by the end of next week! i think it's completely doable, but he needs your help. even €5 helps, but if you truly cannot donate, then please spread his campaign in the hopes that it will reach someone who can.

this campaign has been featured on the @gazafunds website and i trust its legitimacy.

€9,629 / €10,000 (short-term) - €371 left to short-term goal

€9,629 / €50,000 total

please share this post so other people can see this campaign!

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 20

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Dieter Bravo X OFC Smut & Language- Minors DNI New as of 9/11/2023

SUPPORT YOUR CREATORS. REBLOGGING & COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

Series Rating: Explicit (18+)

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives. 

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Quote: "I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy."

My entire morning was dragging after finding out about the TMZ article and Instagram post. I could feel the staff's eyes on me and hear the whispers. Everyone knew about it. Once I had a minute to myself, I sent Dieter a text about everything. That was two hours ago, and he still hadn’t answered. I had a feeling he was dealing with a shit storm of epic proportions. The longer I went without hearing from him, the more anxious I felt.

As my final meeting was coming to an end, I saw a notification pop up on my phone. Normally I wouldn’t check my phone during a meeting, but I needed to hear from him.

DIETER: Sorry it took me so long to respond. This morning has been crazy. You want to come over to my house when you leave work? I’m meeting with my manager and publicist.

ME: Yeah, I’ll come straight there.

DIETER: Just a head’s up... TMZ is about to post an update. They have info on you. They are refusing to keep it under wraps. We tried everything. I’m sorry.

I sighed heavily and let out a quiet “fuck” under my breath. Everyone sitting near me looked in my direction. Aubrey had heard it too, but she continued speaking as she gave me a concerned look. I opened the browser on my phone and hit refresh on the article. There were multiple updates posted since earlier this morning. Several ‘sources’ had indicated that Dieter was under the influence of some unknown substance during the confrontation, which they said was related to concerns over his current relationship. They had also added a screen shot of this morning's Instagram post. Another ‘source’ raised concerns about his current mental health status due to his unusual behavior the last few months.

I squeezed the bridge of my nose where a deep throb was forming. This was so ridiculous and blown out of proportion. Who were they even talking with to get this information? I hit refresh again. Sure enough, there was a new update. They had my picture from the company website along with all sorts of details about me, including where I worked. I exhaled slowly as I leaned back in my seat. Aubrey was just wrapping up the meeting. While everyone filed out of the conference room, she and Kerrie walked over noticing that I was upset. When they asked what was going on, I didn’t say anything. I unlocked my phone and handed it to Aubrey.

Aubrey’s eyes grew wide as she handed the phone to Kerrie.

“Wow. That didn’t take long, huh?”

“Where are they getting this information? It’s not even accurate.”

“There is no telling,” Kerrie said as she returned my phone.

“I should probably go before the paparazzi show up here.”

I quickly walked back to my office to gather my things, then headed out the back door toward my car. I noticed there were already a couple of people across the street milling around with cameras. I kept my head down, walking in the opposite direction toward where I parked. I managed to make it out of there without being noticed.

I arrived at Dieter’s a short time later, without incident. When I keyed into the front door, I could hear voices coming from the kitchen. I paused to take a few deep breaths to calm my nerves.

“This is fucking ridiculous. Where are they getting their information? Someone that was there with Anna has to be feeding it to them.”

A woman’s voice spoke up, “D., you were yelling. I’m sure anyone seated around you could have figured out what it was about.”

“Yeah, but what about these sources? It’s all total bullshit. I swear, it sounds like Ann...”

I sat my bags down on the couch before walking into the kitchen as Dieter was speaking. He was leaning against the counter, until he caught sight of me. He stopped mid sentence, walking over to hug me tightly and immediately started apologizing.

“Stop apologizing. It’s fine. I’m ok.”

He pulled away as he moved his hand to cup my face. He gave me a questioning look, trying to decide if I was being honest or not. He seemed satisfied with what he saw before leaning in to give me a quick kiss on the lips. He reached down to grab my hand and led me further into the kitchen to where the man and woman were sitting at the kitchen table. He then introduced me to his publicist, Elaine, and his manager, Ty.

Elaine was probably in her late forties. She had blonde hair swept up into a neat bun. She was dressed business casual, but there was something elegant and genial about her. Ty seemed to be around the same age. He had dark hair with a hipster vibe about him. His face was very smug and judgy. Something about him was already rubbing me the wrong way.

As Dieter introduced us, Elaine gave me a warm smile and shook my hand. Ty on the other hand, looked me up and down before saying, “I would love to say I’ve heard a lot about you, but he has told us absolutely nothing before today.” He followed that statement with a tight smile before turning his gaze to Dieter in an admonishing way.

“That’s not accurate. I told you about her a long time ago. I just didn’t share intimate details because my personal life is my business.”

“Yeah, until it’s not,” Ty shot back at him.

Elaine jumped in, “Ok guys, let’s not argue. Let’s just figure out how we’re going to deal with this, please.”

“D., I’ve got to ask… you swear you're not using again? Be honest. We can’t help if we don’t know.”

Ty glanced over at me as he spoke. Almost like he wanted to see my reaction.

“I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have asked that in front of your lady,” he added.

My eyes were focused on Ty. I could feel the intense look forming on my face. I knitted my brows together and tilted my head slightly as I tried to read his body language. That was exactly his intention. Was he testing us or just trying to be an ass?

“It’s fine, Ty. She already knows everything,” Dieter said as he grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. He could sense that I was on edge with this guy. He gave me a comforting smile before turning back to Ty.

“I can’t believe you’re really asking me that. I’m completely clean. I didn’t even have any alcohol to drink last night. Neither of us did.”

“You’ve been so secretive lately and haven’t really been in touch with us unless you have to be. I’m just making sure. We don’t know what you’ve been up to,” Ty replied.

“I’ve been on a fucking break. Here. Staying out of trouble like you told me to do.”

I was starting to get annoyed with Ty’s line of questioning. He was being very negative. I felt the need to say something.

“For what it’s worth, I can vouch for him. He’s been working really hard at getting his shit together and he’s been doing great. Truly. We’re together the majority of the time, so I would know if he was doing something like that.”

“I’m sorry, what was your name again?” Ty asked. I narrowed my eyes at him in response. He waved his hands and shook his head in a way that said ‘never mind’ before continuing, “Look, I don’t know you. No offense, but for all I know you could be feeding him lines of coke off those pert tits of yours all the while telling us everything is hunky-dory.”

I had to bite my tongue. I nodded my head as I gave him a tight smile and exhaled loudly. Dieter braced for my response, but I didn’t give one. I wasn’t really sure how to handle this situation.

Elaine interjected, “Ok, that’s enough Ty. Stop being a dick.” Ty gave her a sarcastic smile before leaning back into his seat and crossing his arms.

“Look D., I can tell by looking at you that you’re clean. Don’t listen to him,” she added.

I turned to go grab my laptop and phone off of the couch, then walked toward the back door. Dieter gave me a questioning look. I couldn’t stay in here with this guy for another minute.

“I’m gonna go sit out here and work until you're done.”

“You don’t have to do that. You’re in my life now. I don’t mind if you're involved in these discussions.”

“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.” I raised my brows at him. He knew what I was saying. I was going to lose it on this guy if I stayed. He gave me a tight nod in understanding.

I exited to the back yard and walked over to sit under the canopy of the rounded daybed to avoid the afternoon sun. I propped myself up on several outdoor pillows and stretched my legs out before getting back to work on my laptop. It was hard to focus given the day’s events. My thoughts were wandering as were my eyes. I couldn’t help glancing toward the glass doors. I could make out Dieter’s dark figure pacing around the kitchen, gesturing with his arms as he talked. Based on his mannerisms, he seemed frustrated. I felt that too.

I wasn’t sure how much time passed before the back door opened. Dieter came out carrying a takeout container and two bottles of water. He sat everything on a nearby table before crawling up the daybed toward my right side. I slid my laptop off to the left, giving him space to hover above the right side of my body as he leaned in for a lingering kiss. He pulled back slightly as his eyes roamed over my face.

“Lunch is here. Gotta make sure you don’t get hangry.” I chuckled.

“Thank you. How is it going in there?” He sighed as he sank down to lay his head on my chest. His right arm reached around and hugged me tightly.

“It’s going. I think we’ve settled on releasing a statement. Elaine is drafting it now. I’m not cool with people thinking I was under the influence. That’s the part that bothers me the most, aside from them posting all the details about you, obviously.”

“Can I ask you about that Instagram post?” He groaned.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve talked to you before I did that. I was hell-bent on making a point.”

He raised his head to look at me. He had a fierce look in his eyes, “I meant it though. I don’t need anyone but you. You’re kinda it for me and I don’t care who knows. They can all fuck off if they have a problem with it. I hope you’re not mad about it.”

“I’m not mad, but a heads up would’ve been helpful. I had to find all this stuff out from my assistant and boss as soon as I walked into the office this morning. Under normal circumstances, I probably would’ve found it to be a turn on, actually. But, the whole public side of everything just adds a weird layer to it, you know what I mean?”

“Shit, mi vida, I’m sorry. I really didn’t think that through. It was impulsive. I shouldn’t have done it.”

He scooted to sit upright, then pulled me into a hug. I nuzzled into the crook of his neck while he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. He began to run his fingers through the back of my hair.

“I’ve never been in an actual relationship, so I’m probably gonna fuck up… a lot. I’m asking for a little grace in advance because I’m not really sure how to navigate all this. But... I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy.”

I pulled away, reaching to cup his cheek as our eyes met.

“We’ll figure it out together. You just need to make sure you’re communicating your thoughts and feelings with me, ok?”

He shook his head in agreement before reaching to grab my hand that was resting on his cheek. He held it as he turned to kiss the palm. Then he leaned forward to kiss me on the lips. His tongue quickly found its way into my mouth for a moment. He pulled away, giving me a deep gaze. His eyes were now hooded with desire.

“I better get back in here before Ty comes looking for me.”

“I don’t think Ty is a fan of me.”

“Ty is a dick. He’s also friends with Anna, so there’s no telling what’s going on in his head.”

“Oh, is that gonna be a problem?”

“Possibly. We’ll see.”

I gave him a concerned look. He responded with a tight small and raised eyebrows before moving to get up and walk back toward the house. As I watched him, my eyes were drawn to the two silhouettes in the kitchen window. Elaine and Ty had been watching us.

I suddenly felt like our private moment had been violated. Then again, I should probably get used to that. The quiet world we had been living in was quickly crumbling around us. I had a sinking feeling in my gut that we were about to be tested. My only hope was that we could handle it.

I moved over to the table with my laptop so that I could eat as I continued to work. However, that was soon interrupted by my cell phone ringing. It was Lauren calling. She must have finally gotten wind of what was going on. As soon as I answered, she was in full interrogation mode.

“What the actual fuck is going on? What is all this stuff on TMZ? And that Instagram post? What the hell happened in Sonoma?”

I quickly filled her in on all the details as I nibbled at my lunch. I could feel my chest tightening as I relayed the events from the previous night.

“Well, I’m happy you both finally stood up to Anna. She is such a bitch. I can’t believe she said that shit. It’s so fucked up. It’s almost like she was trying to get that kind of reaction out of him.”

“Oh, I’m fairly certain that was the exact reaction she was shooting for. She knows how to push his buttons, unfortunately.”

“Should we be concerned about his reaction? He’s never been like that before, right?”

“Not that I’ve seen. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t concern me a little. He wasn’t responding to me initially, but I think he was just trying to focus on staying calm.”

“Yeah, hopefully that’s all it was.”

Lauren and I ended our conversation after that with promises for the two of us to get together soon. It felt like we hadn’t spent any quality friend time together in ages, and I hated that. She had seemed less engaged lately, blaming it on being short staffed at the shop. I briefly found myself wondering if she had something going on that she wasn’t sharing. It would be unusual for her to keep something from me though. I wasn’t sure if I had the mental capacity to think about that too much at the moment, so I dismissed the thought.

Soon after hanging up with Lauren, Aubrey called to check in and see how I was doing. She told me to take the following day off to try and relax after the madness of today. She also told me to work from home for the next little bit until things calmed down, noting that guys with cameras were hanging around the building. All I could do was apologize. I felt awful that my place of employment was having to deal with this mess too, but she was having none of it.

“Talia, after what I saw in here with you two yesterday, I can’t bring myself to care. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you that happy or content. It is what it is. We’ll handle it.”

I could feel myself getting a little emotional. Tears started to form in the corners of my eyes. She was always more supportive of me than she needed to be. I had to take a moment to steady my voice before responding.

“Thank you. I appreciate it. Hopefully it will blow over quickly.”

After hanging up with Aubrey, I sat staring at my laptop, completely disassociating for a time, feeling like my mind needed a break. I was soon brought back to reality by the sound of footsteps. When I glanced up, I was greeted by Elaine’s approaching smile.

“Do you mind if I join you for a few minutes? Dieter and Ty are on a conference call with the studio. I don’t want to be in on that one if I can help it.”

“Uhh, yeah, sure. Have a seat,” I motioned to the seat next to me as I moved the empty food container out of the way.

She sat down beside me, still smiling before she continued, “You work for Aubrey, right?”

My head snapped back toward her, eyes widened in surprise.

“Yeah…how did you…”

“We have friends in common, so we’ve spent a lot of time together. I didn’t realize who you were until I read that article. I’ve heard her say a lot of really good things about you.”

“Oh well, small world.” I gave a timid laugh. I wasn’t sure where this was going.

“You know, I was with Dieter during a few meetings in New York. He seemed different, even then. I’m pretty sure he was enamored with you the moment you met.”

I couldn’t help the look of disbelief that came across my face, “I doubt that.”

“I’m serious. I mean, he’d been trying to straighten his life out for some time, but something changed after that trip. He seemed a lot more focused and determined. I think that had a lot to do with you.”

I couldn’t help the half smile that crept across my face. If I was honest, I think I was probably enamored with him before we even said a word to each other that first night at the bar.

“I’ve been working with Dieter since the beginning, and I’ve never seen him like this with anyone. I can see that he’s in love with you. I think you’re good for him. So, ignore anything Ty says. He’s blind and also a dick. If you need to throw some of that sass at him that I’ve heard so much about, do it. He needs to be put in his place every once in a while.”

I chuckled. Of course, Aubrey had mentioned that. It was the thing she loved most about me. I could always say what she couldn’t. As far as Elaine was concerned, she was definitely earning some points in my book. I felt like she was being sincere and meant what she was saying. I was happy to find that Dieter had at least one decent person on his side.

“Thank you. I probably needed to hear that. I’m happy he has you. Everyone else I’ve met so far, aside from his family… I’ve just not been impressed. I can understand why he feels like he doesn't have enough support.”

“It’s not the easiest industry to work in. Especially when you have things going on like he does. I’m happy he found someone from the outside that he can trust.”

We were interrupted by Dieter sticking his head out the back door to announce they were off the call. I decided to give up on work for the day since I couldn’t concentrate and had made zero progress. I gathered up all of my things and followed Elaine inside. Elaine and Ty didn’t stay much longer after that, thankfully.

Dieter made a point to set his phone to ‘do not disturb’ after they left. He was over it all and looked exhausted. He flopped down on the couch. I followed, squeezing in between him and the back of it, cuddling into his side. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on my head. Both of us sat in silence for some time before he spoke up.

“I’ve been asked to go see my therapist tomorrow. I’m a little pissed that Ty has no confidence in me.”

“How involved is he with that stuff?”

“Not really that involved. He just likes to make sure I’m going regularly. He doesn’t know the details of anything.”

“Well, maybe it's not a bad idea. This week has been a lot for you. It couldn’t hurt. I can take you if you want. Aubrey told me to take tomorrow off. I can pop in to visit Lauren at the shop while you’re there.”

“Yeah, sure. I think I’d like that.”

We spent the rest of the evening on the couch together catching up on some of our shows and enjoying each other’s company. It was a nice end to the day given how it had started. It was exactly what we needed to recover from the drama.

When the alarm went off at 7AM the next morning, Dieter was not there. I sighed when my fingers met with the cold sheets on his side of the bed. As I lay wondering how long he had been awake, he came walking into the room wearing nothing but gym shorts and carrying a cup of coffee. He handed it over to me as I sat up.

“Despierta, bella durmiente.”

I squinted at him in confusion, “What?”

“Wake up, sleeping beauty,” he repeated in English with a smirk.

“I don’t know about beauty. I’m pretty sure I look like a hot mess.”

I could tell my hair was sticking up in every direction after having Dieter’s hands tangled in it for an extended time the previous night. Even though we were both worn out, we still had the need to partake in some stress relieving activities before sleep took us. It was becoming part of our nightly routine at this point.

He rolled his eyes at me, “Whatever you say, mi amor.”

I smiled at his response. I understood that pet name.

“I happen to like the wild sex hair look, it’s a good reminder of our late night activities,” he added with a playful smile and a wink before walking into his closet.

“I probably need to run to my house to grab some clothes.”

“I should just give you space in my closet so you have some things here for days like this.”

He walked out and threw one of his band t-shirts at me to wear. I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Is that right? Are we those people now?” I huffed out a laugh.

“Just trying to make your life a little easier babe,” he replied with a flirty grin.

“I guess this means I shouldn’t make you live out of a gym bag at my place anymore then.”

I gave him a teasing look as I took another sip of my coffee.

“I mean, it would save me from all the wrinkles and it’s the polite thing to do.”

He shrugged as he sat down on the bed beside me with a toothy smile on his face. I reached up to slide my hand around to the back of his neck, pulling him in for a deep kiss. He briefly paused to take the coffee mug out of my other hand and sat it on the nightstand. Then, he lifted the comforter and crawled underneath it, hovering above my naked body to settle in between my thighs.

As he kissed down the crook of my neck, he reached down to my folds, rubbing gently. He groaned when he felt how wet I already was for him. He inserted two fingers painfully slow as his thumb found the bundle of nerves at my center. His touch caused a sudden jolt of heat to radiate through me. I arched up toward his mouth, which had found its way to my breast. My hands twisted in his curls as he kissed and sucked every inch of me that he had access to, causing me to climax quickly. It was amazing how well he could work my body into a frenzy. I didn’t understand it, but I welcomed it without hesitation every time.

He continued to shower me with soft caresses and kisses until I came down from my high. My immediate response was to reach for his shorts and shove them down his hips far enough to release the hardness I could feel pressing against me. As soon as he was free, I lined him up with my entrance. He responded by slowly sinking into me for the first few thrusts. He abruptly switched to hard thrusts in, all the way to the hilt, but pulled out ever so slowly. With each thrust in, I could feel my muscles quiver slightly. Ready to be taken over the edge again. A small whimper escaped my mouth every time he slammed into me. This pace was maddening, and he knew it.

“Fuck, I’m so close. Stop teasing me. Please,” I managed to cry out between moans.

“What do you need, mi amor. Tell me.”

I could feel his warm breath against my ear as he spoke in a low, sensual tone.

“Faster… please.”

He acquiesced by gradually increasing speed, but still thrusting just as hard. It didn’t take long after that. I quickly came undone around him. He followed soon after, burying his face into my neck. Muffling the low grunts that were escaping his lips.

He hovered above me with his head leaning down toward my chest for several minutes, trying to catch his breath. When he raised it to look at me, I reached for his face and ran my thumb down his plump bottom lip as we looked into each other's eyes. Taking in the shared emotions of the moment. Our time together only seemed to be getting more passionate. It was a miracle to me that we could handle it. I took that as a testament to how much we had both evolved emotionally.

“We really should get in the shower, or else I’m gonna be late.”

I nodded in agreement before giving him one last kiss. He pulled himself out of me with a small grunt, moving to get up. He discarded his shorts on the floor before he walked toward the bathroom. I followed behind to join him. Showering together was becoming pretty routine at this point too. Any chance we got for bonding time, we took full advantage of.

We both had to rush to get ready so that he wasn’t late for his appointment. I didn’t have time to stop and get fresh clothes, so I ended up wearing my skinny jeans from the day before with his t-shirt. Luckily, I had a spare pair of comfy sneakers stowed away in my car.

He was quiet on the way to his appointment, seeming somewhat anxious. He had his right arm propped on the passenger side door with his hand fisted under his chin as he looked out the window. His left hand sat on his thigh while his thumb rubbed back and forth against the other four digits non-stop. I reached over to grab his left hand, entwining our fingers together, hoping it would help calm him. I wasn’t sure that it did.

I pulled up to the front door of his therapist office to drop him off. He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss before exiting the vehicle. I really hoped his session went ok. I wasn’t sure how much more he could handle this week.

After dropping him off, I made my way over to Lauren’s shop. I needed to pick up some supplies, but also wanted to visit with her if she wasn’t too busy. However, when I got there, I was informed that she was taking the day off because she wasn’t feeling well. I found that to be odd. I tried calling her as I wandered down the painting supply aisles. She didn’t answer. I sent her a quick text.

ME: Hey, stopped by to see you and they said you’re out sick. You ok? Need anything?

I didn’t get an immediate response back. Maybe she was asleep? Weird.

I continued browsing for another twenty minutes or so. Finally, my phone pinged.

LAUREN: No, I’m good. Just sleeping it off.

That’s it. Nothing else. Typically, she tended to overshare the gory details. Something had to be going on with her. I felt like I needed to talk to her about it.

I gathered up the remaining items that I needed, then headed toward the checkout counter. I still had some time to kill before going to pick Dieter up, so I decided to run by his favorite smoothie place to pick something up for us. When I got there, it was fairly empty. However, I could feel eyes on me as I stood in line. I glanced around and noticed a couple of girls sitting in a booth looking my way like they recognized me. Geez. I felt like I needed to resort to wearing a hat and sunglasses like Dieter often did. I made a point to turn away from them so they couldn’t see my face. Luckily, I got our order fairly quickly after that and hightailed it back to my car.

I made my way back toward Dieter’s therapist office. I managed to find a parking spot nearby to wait. He still had about ten minutes left. To kill some time, I pulled out my phone to scroll through social media. As soon as I opened the app, I checked the one message alert that popped up. It was from Kerrie. She shared a picture of me at the smoothie shop that had just been posted by a fan account. There was a second picture of Dieter wearing the same t-shirt at some point in time. So they take inventory of his clothing too? And I had literally just left the place.

“Fucking hell. This is so ridiculous.”

I shook my head, closing the app without reading any of the comments. I didn’t want to know what they had to say. Just as I threw my phone down on the middle console, I saw Dieter walking out of the building, briefly stopping to pull out his phone. I assumed to check in on where I was. I quickly pulled out of the parking spot to meet him.

He had an irritated scowl on his face as he got into the car and shut the door a little harder than necessary. I stuck his smoothie in front of his face, and he softened some as he took it from me. He turned, giving me a small smile before sticking the straw in his mouth. I took a minute to pull out onto the main road before I spoke, “I’m almost afraid to ask, but did everything go ok?”

He was quiet for a time as he continued to work on his smoothie. I could tell he was thinking about how to respond.

“He wants to make some adjustments to my medication. The med provider agreed, so I’ve gotta go pick up some prescriptions.”

“Why does he want to do that?”

“Because I’m still having trouble sleeping and the anxiety is getting worse. They’re trying a different sleeping pill and different dosage amounts on the other stuff. I know it’s just because I’m leaving to film soon. It’s got me a little amped up. I really don’t wanna be dealing with medication changes on top of that. It tends to mess with me until I adjust.”

I didn’t really know what to say. I reached over to grab his hand in comfort. He spoke up again, directing me to one of the local pharmacies so he could pick up his prescriptions. I parked and started to grab my purse, but he told me I could wait in the car. Before he got out, he grabbed his hat, sunglasses, and earbuds. His ultimate “don’t talk to me” look. He reached in for his drink before shutting the door. I watched him walk toward the main entrance with his head down. He looked defeated and I hated it for him. He still had a long road ahead of him.

It took a while before his prescription was ready since they had just called it in. He finally came shuffling out the doors forty-five minutes after he went in. He was immediately approached by someone shoving a camera in his face. I could tell he was annoyed, but still smiled and chatted with the guy as he walked. I assumed it was paparazzi since they were clearly recording the entire interaction. When Dieter got to the car and opened the door, I could hear the guy yelling my name and asking how I was today. I mustered a small smile and wave as Dieter shut the door.

“I guess our quiet little bubble has burst, huh?”

“Yep. Welcome to my world.”

He gave me an annoyed look as he put his seatbelt on. I backed out as the guy continued to film. We were both beyond ready to go home.

During our remaining two weeks together, we spent as much time at home as we could. Dieter enlisted his assistant, Rylee, to pick things up for us as needed. She was a sweet girl and seemed like a genuinely good person, which I was thankful for. She had a lot of spunk and a fun personality, with brightly colored hair to match. He was going to need that while he was away. He was going to need all the help and positivity he could get.

As his departure date neared, he was clearly getting more anxious. He tried to keep himself busy preparing for the role during the hours that I worked. Our free time was spent wrapped up with each other, locking the rest of the world out. It was the only time he seemed to relax in the slightest.

Since his change in medication, there were some days he felt terrible. He started having intense headaches and nausea almost immediately. The doctor insisted that was normal the first few weeks, which was frustrating for him. He was worried it wouldn’t stop before filming began, adding an extra layer to his anxiety. It did seem to be happening less as the days went on, but that did little to ease his fears. It also didn’t seem to be doing much to remedy the issues for which he was taking them, further frustrating him.

In an effort to keep his spirits up, we started planning our trips to see each other. The first trip would be three weeks after filming started. I would be spending a week with him while he worked. He had a scheduled three-day break four weeks after that. Which meant he would fly back home during that time. By then they would be getting into filming out in the middle of nowhere, so we decided to play it by ear at that point because of my work schedule. I had hoped that having those planned visits would give him something to look forward to. A positive distraction to focus on rather than the negative thoughts he said often plagued him.

The morning that he was set to leave, he was a scattered mess. His thoughts were all over the place. He was jumping from one topic to another as he rushed around to make sure he had everything he needed. I felt like he was doing everything he could to not focus on the fact that he was leaving, which was probably a good thing. Both of us seemed to be avoiding that topic directly.

Rylee was traveling with Dieter, so she showed up around an hour before their car arrived to take them to the airport. They went through several checklists to make sure he was all set. I was thankful for that because I had no idea what all he needed. It also helped to keep him distracted.

Before we knew it, their car was out front waiting as they hauled their luggage out. We kept our goodbye brief with a tight embrace and passionate kiss, all while avoiding direct eye contact and not saying a word. We both knew if we lingered too long, one of us would break down. I didn’t want to stress him further, so I knew we needed to avoid that at all costs.

As soon as his car was out of sight, I lost all composure. I couldn’t help it. I had a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, and it was making me nauseous. I was worried about how he was going to handle this. As I sat on the couch trying to pull myself together, my phone pinged.

DIETER: Love you, mi estrella. I miss you already.

ME: Love you too. I’ll be with you again soon enough. Call me if you need me, please.

DIETER: I promise I will. I’ll text you when we land.

After I calmed down, I turned off everything and locked his house up. I decided to go back to my place for now. I needed to distract myself. When I got home, I went straight to my craft room and started a new project, a painting for Dieter. He had mentioned multiple times that he wanted me to paint one for his house. I felt like this would be the perfect distraction.

I had an image in my mind that I wanted to recreate for him. A reminder of our most intimate experience, but also a reminder of a happier time from his past. I started by covering the canvas with the brilliant colors of the rising sun, before moving on to the more symbolic images that would serve as the focal point of the piece. The images were slowly beginning to take shape as I blended the dark wood colors with gold, green, and white. I got lost in the project, my emotions finally going numb and thoughts going blank as I had intended.

A/N: Hopefully this chapter wasn’t too much of a mess. My concentration has been all over the place this week for whatever reason and it was a struggle.

Anyway, so there we have it. The fallout from the very public argument with Anna. How we feeling about that? Do you think it will create any problems for our lovely couple? Did your feelings change about the Instagram post after their talk? What are your thoughts on the new characters? Do we think something is going on with Lauren, or is Talia overthinking it?

Dieter has officially left to film, which is what everyone has been dreading. How do we think everything that he is currently dealing with is going to affect him? Any predictions on how this is about to go?

What about Talia’s painting? Any predictions on what it might be?

So many things to ponder in this chapter!

I am issuing a warning now. Things are going to start getting a lot rougher going forward. There is going to be some extreme drama and angst building until it finally hits a breaking point due to a major event that’s going to be pretty heart wrenching for everyone. So, be prepared for the crazy journey ahead.

Mood board for this chapter is included below in case you missed the teaser. 😉

Next Chapter

Tag List: @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @for-a-longlongtime @hisandsnakes @chaoticfestninja @survivingandenduring @partyofone3413 @cakipy-blog @pedrostories @titlee78 @poodlebae @guelyury

Let me know in the comments below if you would like to be added to the tag list.

[mitsurichan3s-art-corner]

Mitsurichan3 commissions information & Terms of Services

Contact:

Means of contact:

Tumblr DMS

Email: Mitsurichan3commissions@gmail.com

(please subject it as COMMISSION REQUEST - details).

Payment methods

Paypal - through invoices sent via email

Ko-fi commissions page

Payment is done in US dollars, through paypal or Ko-fi. I am flexible in terms of payment, with 100% of the commission amount paid upfront, 50% upfront-50% once completed, or discuss multiple payment plans on a case by case basis. I am unable to provide refunds at this current time, so please keep this in mind.

General information:

Thank you so much for taking time to read through my TOS and commission information. I am Diana, aged 25, and am currently unemployed. I am open to answer questions, discuss details and talk about pricing so feel free to reach out!

I am opening commissions in order to pay my monthly bills

Please do not ask for updates every few hours, I also have a personal life and things pop up last minute.

Later this fall I will be going back to university, so commissions will stay open to help pay the costs of graduate school as well.

Commission price will also have tax applied to the final cost.

By commissioning me in any kind of way, you are agreeing to the terms of service above and below:

Detailed information:

Can draw:

Humans

Ocs / canon Characters

Ship Art

Nekomimi / Usamimi

Suggestive outfits

Please send me references, they are super helpful! Even a simple stick figure and a lot of written descriptions will go a long way!

Cannot/wont draw:

Hate art

Gore

NSFW

Mecha

Feral/anthro

Furry

Animals

Terms of Service:

Once the commission is paid for, I cannot do any refunds

I’ll only accept upfront Paypal payments through Paypal invoices, or my Ko-fi commissions page. Do NOT send me money independently. After receiving payment I will start on your commission

I reserve the rights to use/display your commission on a portfolio, artist website, and social media. However, if you wish to keep your commission private, please let me know ahead of time.

Turn around times vary between 3 weeks to 2 months, depending on complexity of the artwork requested.

I will give periodical updates at each step of the process (sketch, line art, flat colors, full rendered and email finished piece).

Sketching usually takes a week once payment has been received. I will contact you to approve the initial sketch. Clients can make 1 major change at this stage, before being charged an additional $5 per change afterwards. This will be added to the total price.

I will send the finished product through an email address of your choice.

I reserve the right to decline any commission I am not comfortable working on, for any reason.

My Art cannot be used to train AI or make NFTs.

You may NOT claim my work as your own, trace, recolor/redraw, or redistribute my work for profit.

You may NOT use or repost someone else’s commission piece without my and the buyer’s permission. If you receive permission, you must use/post with credit

Your commission piece is NOT for commercial use. This is for personal use only.

If you are the buyer, you may post the finished commission whenever you want but please credit properly, or share it from my social media accounts.

If the commission is a gift for someone else, you are allowed to share the piece with the receiving party. (PST! Let me know what they think too!)

I can accept requests if you don’t have the adequate visual reference of your/the character that you want me to draw. Do your best to communicate effectively and I will meet you halfway. I will ask a lot of questions to better understand your request.

Picrew/ Character creator images (for ocs) are accepted, as long as you have another actual reference to pair it with: i.e. using the picrew to outline an outfit you want, or a change in hair/eye color. I will accept a Picrew/Character creator image if it's exactly what you want.

Thank you so much for reading! And thank you for considering me for a commission!

[ink-flavored]

Slow-Down Announcement

Hey everyone! Thank you so much for your patience during my break, my move, and through the holidays. It means a lot that you’d all be so generous as to keep paying me while you wait. In general, your continued support is incredibly important to me. And as much as I appreciate it, I will have to ask you for a bit more patience.

Ko-Fi was an experiment I started to see if it was practical for me. I was excited about the response my AUgust 2022 prompts had gotten, and I wanted to see how my audience would respond to access to more of my writing and more of my process. I was also curious to see if I could use Ko-Fi to grow my audience, or supplement my writing career. Building a brand online is difficult, but I couldn’t let an opportunity like this slip by me.

After about 15 months, I can say I’ve had a lot of fun on Ko-Fi. I love Magnet Mondays, I like sharing what happens behind-the-scenes, and giving you all sneak peaks of what’s to come. Like I said, I’m forever grateful you thought my art to be worth paying monthly for in the first place, it’s not something I ever dreamed people would do for me. Unfortunately, posting on Ko-Fi as regularly as I wanted has become impractical for my schedule and mental health.

Keeping up with the rate of posting I promised—weekly, biweekly, and monthly, over my various categories—isn’t sustainable in my current environment. If I had the opportunity to do nothing but write for 8-hours a day, 5-days a week, it would be easy! I would have plenty of time to share my writing with you, continue my personal projects, and maintain a healthy work-life balance. Sadly, my writing schedule is not so generous. My full-time office job cuts into my creative time a lot, and stacking the self-imposed obligations of my Ko-Fi schedule on top of that means that I’m “at work” a lot more than I otherwise would be.

Long story short, I’m getting fatigued trying to keep pace with Ko-Fi updates. I’m going to be slowing down my activity here, and prioritize what I can do without burning myself out. I have a flexible plan that I’ve been developing, so you know where you can find me outside of Ko-Fi if you’d still like to follow my work elsewhere.

Keep Reading below here or on Ko-Fi

First, Magnet Mondays are sticking around, but this time for free. Polls are easier than counting comments, so I’ll be hosting the weekly vote and the poems on my ink-flavored Tumblr account. I really don’t want to give up doing Magnet Mondays, since it was a lot of fun for me (and for you all too, I hope). The first poll will go up this Sunday (January 7th) and the first poem will go up the next Monday (January 15th), so I hope I’ll see you all on Tumblr! I’ll still post the final poems here on Ko-Fi for organization's sake.

Second, one of my goals for 2024 is to be more active on my new Neocities website. The freedom of having my own writing website where I can post whatever I want without the need to be overly professional like a portfolio, and no risk of getting my content reported like on social media, means that I can share a lot more of what I write. Please do check it out, and feel free to sign the guestbook while you’re there!

More generally, I want to migrate some of the Typewriter-tier behind-the-scenes posts to Tumblr and Neocities, so more people can see what goes on under the hood when I write. I don’t have imminent plans to share the exclusive content on Saturdays anywhere else—save for things like AUgust, which are already all free—but I won’t write it off.

Finally, as for the fate of this Ko-Fi account, I’ll be reworking the tiers a bit. Magnet Mondays will be free, so it can’t be a perk, and my plan is to post behind-the-scenes or exclusives sporadically, whenever I feel like I have something to share. I’ll keep the BTS to Wednesdays and the exclusives to Saturdays, but that will be the only consistency in scheduling. Nothing from the Manuscript tier needs to change, since I don’t plan on halting commissions.

Thank you all for being so understanding, and for being so generous this past year and a bit. I’m happy I even had the opportunity to try this out, and it would have been over before it started if I didn’t have people like you.

[ejsuperstar]

SOULBREAKER DIGEST: June 2024

[<- Prev] [No Next]

Another month another written devlog on the cryodon website!

I wont be going over what was said in the log, I only do that for videos, but I will be showing off what happened in the discord right after it was posted! Dingo and Felix shared some goodies with us!... And also I am going to show ONE image from the devlog... LOOK AN INGAME SCREENSHOT FINALLY!!! IM SO EXCITED

First order of business is that:

Felix has confirmed the Soulbreaker DOES indeed have heterochromia! This can obviously seen from the image shown in the new devlog, but it's nice to have written confirmation... AS WELL

Felix has also confirmed that the image we see of the soulbreaker in the devlog is their new official dialogue sprite!! (Which also means no silent protagonist yay!)

In unrelated (not) news, Felix has declared me, Soy, and Alyn to be the top three Soulbreaker fans. (I have taken this to mean that I am #1, because I am unreasonably obsessed with Soulbreaker.)

As well, Felix dropped us a blank of the Soulbreaker's talk sprite to play with after I asked!

And OO boy as a server we had fun with this.

I'd include more but Tumblr is struggling to let me and I'm worried I might hit image limit! For more please chech #soulbreaker-chat in the Fool's Gold Discord...!

Ok... One more...

Felix... Felix Didnt like this one...

After this the shennanigans died down... Until dingo slipped into chat to drop a few more official talksprites!

Unlike all the ones I've shown until now, these were drawn by Dingo!

One interesting thing is that the images Dingo sent have a slightly different looking base on the horn. It's probably nothing but it is something I noticed

After that not much more happened, I simply did some more official looking edits of the Soulbreaker talk sprite blank, that I will post later in their own post!

Thanks for reading the Soulbreaker Digest! Remember to wishlist Soulbreaker on steam!

[thediktatortot]

RE: Your "fandom wasn't always like this" post Fandoms ending when their source did used to be a VERY BAD SIGN that the series had utterly belly flopped. It really didn't start being standard until.... at least after dashcon, but probably closer to the end of the second phase of the MCU. I think Avengers Endgame was the real final death knell of "extended fandom", but even before that, the MCU dragging us along by the hair on the back of our necks seemed to be what killed having a long-term fandom.

You aren't wrong with assuming that specific fandoms were some of the major downfalls of what we had going for us, but the answer is definitely more nuanced than that unfortuntely.

I've had a lot of time to sit and think about the subject of the post I made, and I genuinely think that the true answer to the downfall of Fandom as a whole, is social media.

I hate to sound like That Old Person at a ripe age of 31, but that is my honest answer.

I myself did not get a phone until I was 18 years old and was able to buy one for myself, a little sidekick that let me text my friends when I wanted to hang out, but that wasou f about it. I didn't even get a home computer in my house until I was about 13 years old because we were fairly poor and didn't really need it for anything other than emails and bills.

The first thing I discovered on the computer was Neopets and Gaiaonline, two 'gaming' websites (I'm not assuming your age, but I'm going to talk as if you don't know about anything I'm speaking of just in case other people read this who do not know about it.) that focused heavily on dressing up your avatars, mini flash games and forum role play. The hottest social media at the time was Myspace and it wasn't until I got into Highschool that I even ended up making one.

There were no real algorithms that fed you 'content' on a front page outside of the things the people you followed posted, no way to get fed news ads unless it was in the sidebar where ads were usually placed, and there was no instant updates to every person's lives both small or famous unless you went looking for those updates yourself on google.

Now we have social media that is both forcefully placed in front of you in the form of genuine 'content' in both long and short form on absolutely every platform you can imagine. This isn't even going with the discussion that talks about ads on the TV and how for decades, America has been putting more and more emphases on pharmacy ads on TV and extending commercials to the point where people would rather pay 10-40 a month on streaming services to access movies and TV that might not exist at the whim of the streaming services, than watch cable tv with ads lol

Anyway, when Fandom first began its slow descent into madness, it was about the time that the new style of social media began to get big (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Vine, Tiktok, etc) all places that were designed and created to make you want to See More.

I'm not one of those people who are like "We have no more focus because of social media arg!" but there is a grain of truth to the fact that, if you are fed bite sized pieces of bee information at a faster rate, it's harder to get yourself to slow down and actually delve into a topic further without incentive.

We have catchy news headlines that people read and never take the time to look into the matter further, we have facebook posts where people make crazy claims and no one verifies to check if it's true because that takes time and effort and understanding of how to perform basic search tasks and reading comprehension to ask the right questions, we have instagram breaking the concept of art and life experiences into bite sized, perfect square windows of moments to make your instagram feed look pretty enough to have thousands of followers, we have Twitter that has always been somewhat of a fast websites, but is easy to spread misinformation around on at light speed, Snapchat makes photos disappear, never allowing anything you do to be permanent unless someone manages to save it, Vine and TikTok made attention sinks were it's so easy to just get lost for hours of time into maybe not useless, but an exhaustive stream of information that encourages doing the same finger action for hours on end.

Marvel/MCU/Disney whatever we want to call it, including all the other major production companies, are just one symptom of a bigger problem. They've ridden the waves of instant gratification and people's inability to think outside the boxes for years, but unfortunately our primary source of entertainment in a world that wants to kill us all the time and keeps us inside the house more often, just happens to finally align with the companies and programs that are designed to squeeze more and more out of us until we die.

Unfortunately, Capitalism is killing Fandom as a whole, we are just seeing it more because our primary sources of communication and our major routes of entertainment for ourselves are finally working together to bleed us dry.

[bellenthigale]

BELLE OF NIGHTINGALE

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ‘Love 🪞 Affection’

Utmost felicitations‚ everyone! First and foremost‚ I am Sclerotia Cirhuali‚ portraying Giselle‚ a Japanese-Korean singer‚ rapper and lyricist under SM Entertainment. Giselle was born in Seoul‚ South Korea on October 30, 2000 (a Scorpio!)‚ to a Japanese father and Korean mother. Her Japanese name is Uchinaga Aeri. She grew up in Tokyo, Japan‚ and attended school in Tokyo International School‚ Sacred Heart School. She speaks three languages‚ including Korean‚ Japanese and English. She became a K-pop trainee under SM Entertainment in 2018‚ eventually debuting with AESPA in November 2020 after training for just 11 months. On October 28, 2020‚ Giselle was revealed as a member of aespa through a video shown during a press conference with SM Entertainment founder Lee Soo Man. On October 30‚ she was officially revealed as the group's fourth and final member. The group debuted on November 17 with the digital single “Black Mamba”.

“Even when I didn’t know that music could directly affect me, I was always passionate about music; it was my only driving force”‚ Giselle said during an interview with Vogue Singapore in 2021. “Music has helped me a lot‚ which is why I wanted to pass that same motivation and joy to others—not just in terms of lyrics‚ but also when it comes to sound, style and vibe”.

To be clear, this account is being used exclusively for roleplaying, and it will remain unused for any other purpose. In addition, I would like it to be recognized that I am not in any way associated with Huh Yunjin in any way and that I am not the person who claims to be. I thus affirm that I will not engage in any course of action that could jeopardize the reputation or image of my muse and her group. My sole purpose in portraying Yunjin is to help her, and her group, gain more attention. To be more precise, to highlight Yunjin and LE SSERAFIM. With my account, I specialize in In Character, or IC, thus the updates and images I use originate from her and her group's updates, music videos, unpaid social media posts, and some events that she's been. I'd like to express my sincere apology in advance for any grammatical errors you might come across in my updates or even in my disclaimer.

Please keep in mind that the other informations in my captions and updates is derived from an array of articles and websites that were found on Google, and I make no claim to being the proprietor of the information and data I obtained. With the exception of the supplementary information, I remain able to assure you that the entirety in my captions was created by myself. Additionally, I construct my own formats and enhance the images I use, with my own filters and presets. The photos of Yunjin in my profile and updates are collected from her fan sites, social media updates, and other media sources. I also edit the photos myself, drawing inspiration from photos on pinterest with permission. If you encounter the same or a similar disclaimer as me, it's most likely because I disclosed it in my affiliation’s resources or it's my other account.

In case I did something inadvertently or offensively, don't be hesitant to message me. I will take it with gratitude and refrain from making any unfavorable comments. You are more than free to ignore, block, or unfriend me if you don't like the way that I post my updates or you feel uncomfortable with it. To help prevent misunderstandings and inconvenience, just take a couple of moments to read my remarks or disclaimer. Further details, notably my acceptance area, anonymous accounts, and links of my updates, can be viewed in my comment section.

Overall credit is given to Arcuesi Takfihse for letting me use and adapt her idea of using Tumblr to make updates, and for allowing me to apply that idea as a blueprint for my own updates in the future.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ エレガントな言語‚ が｡

[kimsohn]

hi everyone! just a little update from my side.

i've finally finished my exams, which means i am finally done with high school and therefore have no work for a little while!! i will be using this time to focus on my many pending fics (i am hoping to get the teaser for my changmin fic out very soon) and i will continue to leave my requests open for a bit so please keep sending them in <3

i do still have things to do so this unfortunately doesn't mean i will be on here always, but it will definitely be more often than i have been these past couple of months. with summer break starting in two weeks, i hope to grind out all of my fics because after i start uni this fall, i will not have as much time as i did these past couple of years to focus on my writing. however, i do not plan on leaving this blog or my writing anytime soon. just as it is now, my writing will be sporadic but still present, so please look forward to everything i will be putting out in the near future!

and lastly, thank you for the constant support on this blog <3 even if you are a silent reader or a very interactive one, i appreciate you very much and please know that your presence is the very reason i am on this website writing! thank u to all my mutuals as well, i am definitely the most awkward person on the planet and incredibly un-interactive but somehow i have friends on here that are willing to spam my inbox.

i know my posts and blog can often seem less inviting (seriously, this post was so formal and for what) and i am really sorry about that. i mention it often but i am very shy and hesitant to interact first and it's not because i don't want to, but simply because i am not that socially intelligent (aka extroverted). please please do send me asks (i prefer asks over dms but those are open too) because i do love interacting but my brain does not let me make the first move 💔 i hope writing on here more often in the next couple of months will make me a friendlier blog to interact with!

some blog updates before i end this long post: i have plans to revamp the aesthetic of my layout (not too many major changes and no theme changes, just some more details and graphics) just to make things prettier and easier to access! i also updated my carrd and rules post because it's been awhile. my tbz masterlist is huge and i will hopefully find a way to make things easier to look at but no guarantees (and maybe more masterlists for other groups i write for but i'm kind of lazy lol). also i will be making a permanent taglist soon 🤞🤞 and lastly would anyone like a word tracker for my changmin fic (yes lily im stealing this from you)

[clarislam]

Writeblr Re-Intro: March 2023 Edition

Hi there, fellow readers and writers! I’m Claris (she/her).

I write a wide variety of works including poetry and fiction. I also post book reviews biweekly and fanfics weekly, though expect more of my focus to be on original works this year!

Click here to check out my website! Or, if you want to read a fuller-length version of what I’m up to for this month, click here to read my official March 2023 writing update post!

See this Carrd to find links to my website, other social media, and fanfiction!

Fiction:

I published the first book in my murder mystery series, “Winner Takes All: A Harlow Mystery” in June 2022, and you can click here for more details about it! Please feel free to support me by buying a copy, spreading the word about it, or even requesting your library to get it in their e-catalogue. I appreciate all the support in my writing journey.

Also, "Winner Takes All” will be on sale on Smashwords from March 5th-11th 2023 for their Read An Ebook Week 2023 sale!  

Click here to find my book on Smashwords!

Click here to see the whole sale when it shows up!

I’ve also had some short stories and poetry published in various literary magazines and collections, and I hope to have more pieces published this year!

Currently Pitching/Querying:

“Sadie’s Search For The Missing Necklace:” A kidlit fantasy book inspired by Gwyneth Rees’ Fairy Dust series and Daisy Meadows’ Rainbow Fairy series. As of this writing, I just pitched this book to a traditional publisher and (hopefully) they’ll let me know by late April/early May latest if they said yes to it or not! Wish me luck!

Current WIPS:

A fantasy novel inspired by the video game series King’s Quest. I am currently still writing its first draft and I’ve spoken a bit on this blog about how it’s going so far. I just finished writing the first draft in mid-February, so this WIP is on a break for now while I work on...

"An Engagement To Die For:” The sequel to “Winner Takes All,” the murder mystery that I self-published last year (June 2022)! I am finally, FINALLY, starting to do more edits again after beta reader rounds have finished! 

I also have other novels I’m writing during this time, butttt I won’t tell you what they are yet because they’re very early in the writing process. XD

Fanfiction:

You most likely know of my writing fanfiction for The Last Story, Bravely Default/Second, and Escape The Night.

I’m currently posting chapters for a The Last Story/Super Smash Bros. crossover fanfic called “Super Smash Bros: The Next Story!” You can read it on either Fanfiction.net or Archive Of Our Own! New chapters come weekly!

Check out the posting schedule on my site (or on my Tumblr blog) for what you can expect to see from me!

What I usually post here on Tumblr:

Links to my posted book reviews, and other important news from my official website

Links to any new fanfics or fanfic updates

Musings of a writer

Funny writer-related memes

Writing advice that I think can be helpful

Positivity!

Commentary on video games, fiction novels, and other fandom-related material that I usually don’t share on Twitter/Facebook/my official site.

I hope you enjoy reading my works, whether it be my original fiction, poetry, fanfiction, book reviews, or anything else I share!

Want to follow me? Find links to my website, related social media, and other works through this Carrd!

[inksinger]

Finally, some decent pinned...

LINKS 👁👄👁

Find me on the Archive at Inksinger!

INFO - PERSONAL 🍑

Born in the early 90s

Pronouns: thu/thum/thu's | fae/faer/faen | she/her/hers

Bisexual, polyromantic, genderfluid/nonbinary

Married to @zofmoesia, my adoring spousevoid

Lokean hearth witch

Native to the northern end of California

I own too many cats and dogs

INFO - BLOG 🌸

Tolkien

World of Warcraft

FFXIV

Real life junk

Cat videos

Literally anything else I decide I want to post or reblog

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

Honor System - If you do not list your age or age range (minor/adult) in your header or pinned, I will assume you are an adult and treat you accordingly unless and until I am given evidence to the contrary. I am making every reasonable effort to be clear about what this blog is for and avoid minors where I can; if you are not comfortable making a similar effort on your own blog, that's okay - just be honest with me and yourself, and stay away or let me know if you're a minor. It's as much for my own security as it is for yours.

Bots Are Scum - I've been auto-followed by at least fifty different bots since I started this blog a couple months ago, and blocked every single one. If your blog looks like it's a bot, I will block you.

Double-Checking - I will check the header and pinned post of each blog that follows me to make sure they adhere to the DNI list below. This is my personal blog, and I will maintain the space around it as best I can. This isn't about being hostile or paranoid; it's me looking after myself and my peers.

Be Cool - I can and will block blogs for abusive behavior, even if they don't fall under any of the DNI flags below. Don't be a jerk. I don't have time for it.

See Something, Say Something - If there's something I post or reblog that you need me to tag in the future, or if you think I've forgotten a tag on an existing post, please let me know right away so I can fix it. This goes for triggers, sensitive subjects, spoilers for old content, and characters/series you just plain don't like. It also goes for things you want to be able to find more easily!

Inclusivity Doesn't Include Hate Groups - This blog is pro-BLM, pro-ACAB, pro-LGBTQIA+, and pro-reproductive rights, often aggressively so. If any of that bothers you, go away, we don't like you.

DO NOT INTERACT 🔞⚠️

Minors (US standard, so no one under the age of 18 - not everything on this blog is for kids, and honestly even if it was sometimes tweens get a little annoying)

Transphobes, homophobes, antisemites, misanthropes, misogynists, racists, bigots, pro-birthers, etc (if you hate another group purely because they are different from you and/or seek to strip another group of their human rights, stay far away from me and maybe go walk into the ocean)

Antivaxxers

P3dophiles

Apologists (this includes sealions, gaslighters, goal post movers, and what-abouters - I'm not going to "discuss" my extremely justified hatred of someone who's actual garbage, go have a poor-faith debate with somebody else)

Pearl clutchers (adults who think ns/fw or deep topics simply don't belong on public websites at all because kids or sensitive adults might find it - if there are kids interacting with my posts specifically it's on them for not adhering to the publicly accessible DNI list, and adults have no excuse for not blacklisting or blocking without interacting)

Purity stans (adults who think writing something in a fictional piece means the author must surely be endorsing that something - nobody in their right mind would accuse any of the writers who worked on Nightmare on Elm Street of being totally down with torture and murder because that's ridiculous and everyone knows it)

If there's anything you think I should add, let me know and I'll make sure to update this bad boy. Stay cool. ✨

[ilegnangeli]

Random March Thought #1

It's been a while, Tumblr.

I always say that. Like for some reason, I barely update this blog but I always visit it though. So many things have happened the past few months. And I want to chronicle them now. Why I didn't while I was going through some hardships then, I don't know but now I want to write about them.

It has been seven months since I moved to my home. I live alone now and it has finally sunk in. Although I have reached a new milestone in my life, I still feel unaccomplished at times. What does it mean to be accomplished in life, anyway?

I feel that I have always been so hard on myself. That I personally set myself for failure because of the unrealistic or unreachable goals I set for myself.

There are so many things that I want to achieve all at the same time which is why I feel overwhelmed and at most times, I feel inadequate. I feel incomplete. I feel at loss. I feel never enough.

2023 is a new year, just like any year that comes after the last one. I didn't set goals for this year. Not even wanting to be happy or contented or satisfied. I just want to be. BE.

Deleted Twitter (or accidentally did by not logging in after deactivating for 30 days). Deactivated Facebook, I just don't see the point of having it anymore. I am maintaining my Instagram account though and my Messenger account, my father worries when he can't get a hold of me. At least through Messenger, he'll be able to see when I'm online or he can instantly message me whenever he needs to ask me something.

I'm quitting being available to people 24/7. I'm avoiding human beings for now. I'm finally letting go of pleasing people too much. I just want to be able to function fully as a human being without breaking my personal boundaries. I feel like I've become too available to other people, that I've given them too much access on my life through social media that I've forgotten how much of my personal life I've given them access to.

Since 2019, I don't think I've been THAT active on social media anyway. I do update from time to time, mostly on IG stories, but I haven't posted anything on my social media for personal reasons and for personal security (and boundaries).

The pandemic has had this effect on sharing things online. People became more active on social media. And there's just so much information and updates to see. Little by little, I'm trying to filter out the information I receive or have access to. I don't need to know what the latest news is, I don't need to buy the latest gadgets, I don't need to see what the latest trend is. I just want to be.

I feel like I want to start writing again. Writing poetry, I mean. I may have to archive a lot of things in this blog though. Hopefully, I will be able to start soon. I may have to finally focus on writing again and just be me. I know how cliche that sounds and I've said it a thousand times before but I just want to write again.

Even if that means I have to force myself to curate stuff in this blog for my random thoughts. There. I said it.

A friend has asked if I want to climb mountains again. The last time I did was in 2019. For the new year's. I climb Mount Huangshan in China. It was a new year's trip with my class. God, it's been four years since I got back and I still feel that time stopped for me in 2020. Like my clock seriously broke and something in my time continuum refused to continue. I'm still stuck somewhere between March 15, 2020 (the last day before the lockdown in the entire country) and March 16, 2020 (the day everything slowed down for everyone).

I want to travel alone somewhere though. I'm not yet sure where. Although I don't want to be alone. I'm torn actually. I was in AirBnB's website earlier and thinking about booking myself a room somewhere WHILE I ALREADY LIVE ON MY OWN. That the reason why I bought a home IS BECAUSE I DO WANT TO BE ALONE. But I don't know why I don't feel so good in this four-walled home. I still want to escape and runaway and never come back.

Do any of you feel that sometimes? That's you're home and everything, and if you're living alone like me, but you still want to run away from everything and everyone?

I consider myself a burden to people. Not because I pity myself or anything but because I feel like everyone else's life is shitty too and I don't want the shit in their lives to pile up even more. I don't want to cause them to think about how life is shitty as if they're not experiencing the same hell I am currently living in, y'know?

I'm listening to this playlist and when I first listened to actually hyped me up and made me think of really good and happy thoughts but as I'm typing these words I don't know why the playlist isn't even giving the same vibe anymore. Maybe I listened to it too many times so I've grown familiar with the songs playing. But I still don't have the songs memorized but I don't know. It's weird.

Do you guys also sometimes spend hours on your phone, like me? I remember the times I used to be okay with my phone and maybe just pause when it's time to eat. But now I've been skipping meals and don't even feel the slightest hunger sometimes. And then I fall asleep. I'm not sure if it's depression. Maybe it is. I hope not. I don't want to be depressed. It's not a nice place to be, being depressed.

I don't want to go out the house. I don't even want to meet friends. I don't want to go to work. I don't know anymore. I've been spending so much time looking for alternative ways to entertain myself and nothing has worked so far. I want to be better, I want to feel better, I want to be okay again.

I've not told my friends what I've been through for the past few weeks. I've kept it secret from a lot of them and I used to tell everything to my closest bunch. But I've been keeping so many things from the people I love lately. I don't know if that's healthy? I don't think so. Sigh. I've been sighing a lot lately. I wonder why that is?

Do you guys also get severe anxiety? Or random panic attacks? Sometimes I do. Most of the time? Sometimes I even wake up in the middle of the night feeling agitated. It's weird. God, I've been through so much lately and I don't know what to do about it anymore. So I'm writing right now so I could go back to this next time and check myself if there are improvements.

Guys, if people check on you, tell them honestly what's going on. They're concerned about you and your well-being. Do not be like me. I always reply with "I'm good" and "I'm fine" and "I'm okay" but I'm so far from good, fine, or okay. I don't even have words for what I feel. I can't even personally describe it.

I hope the theme of my follow-up entries would be lighter and not as heavy as these words I'm writing down right now.

But I feel like I need to be honest here and just type these words otherwise I'll go crazy, y'know?

Right now, it's dinnertime and I'm just waiting for food to arrive. I order a lot of takeaways even though I have a fully-functional kitchen and I have food in the fridge. I just don't have the energy or I just don't want to be bothered with cooking or even preparing.

Goodness, I need to really get my shit together. I don't like where I am right now.

P.S. I should end this now. I'll think about writing again tomorrow. I hope I wake up on the right side of the bed.

P.P.S. In my sadness, I ended up buying another digital piano. And it arrives tonight. I'm excited. At least there's something I could look forward to while I'm at home.

P.P.P.S. I'll be playing and making music again. Please wish me luck. I'm thinking about naming her Keira, Keyra actually. She'll be my new baby.

[bloglnor]

October 1st LNOR UPDATES

It's been a busy month since my last blog post so let me share with you my updates!

1.) LNOR LLC is active! I have officially started my business and have transitioned from lnordraws to lnorllc or LNOR LLC on my social media.

2.) www.lnorllc.com is the new link to my site. You can still get to the site through www.lnorillustration.com until next may!

3.) STORE LNOR on my website has been created! I will be posting more items to the shop such as jewelry, prints, stickers, zines, and so much more. When one-of-a-kind items become available, its first come first serve, so put in that order form when you see it! My methods of starting my shop is a bit analog feeling, I am in control of every part of the transactions as I get my start. This is explained in the order form in the STORE LNOR section on my website. If you find it confusing, just email me at artistLNOR@gmail.com and you can order through there! I'll be working on this as I figure out how it'll work and in response to my audience.

Now for life and work things...

LNOR LIVE has successfully appeared at two events with positive feedback and excitement! I connected with my local Peoria scene at Friendly Valley Tavern for their Makers Market. I felt well received and was shown opportunity to come! I'm hopeful that I can make something happen for me here in Peoria...!

Sean Kenny and Devin C Williams with the LIVE ART I made at Friendly Valley!

.

Secondly, I painted live and did caricatures at a rooftop event at Skender Construction in Chicago for a charity concert for Women Build. This event made me feel great and confident, and excited for my connection in Chicago!

The view, the band, and the art. I'll be finalizing this painting, it was purchased by one of the band members of Superheat.

I am meeting people that are showing me how I can make art my career; people who understand my vision. My family supports me fully heartedly and I can't wait to give back to them with everything I want to achieve in art.

I'll be posting more about my art processes with art I'm creating, and ideas I have for it. I would love to find community through this blog, I am open to critique, conversation, and collaboration. Looking forward to being active in my business and taking it as far as I can.

Thank you for your support!!

Love,

LNOR

P.S Celebrated my 24th birthday recently, had an awesome day with my best friend Kelly, we went to Tails animal shelter in DeKalb! Then me and my partner Blake spend the night in Naperville (after our original plan to see Porter Robison got cancelled >:(, but had a wonderful time, with dinner at Mod Pizza and birthday party at Astro Fun World in Aurora. Our matching outfits were so cute, hopefully we will get to wear them to a real concert lol!

Enjoyed the Red and Black Classic marching band competition at NIU, it was windy but the bands were great, very talented. Huskie Marching band never disappoints, go to an NIU game just to see them!! Another best friend of mine Eduardo took me to dinner and us and friends went to karaoke later that night. So happy to have been celebrated so kindly by my friends. xoxo

Me and Dusty the cat! + LNOR and Blake (and Simon, his car)

[doesbuck]

Publishing a New Book Is Like Seeing A Newborn Baby

First Book This is an exciting time for me as a writer. My second novel is ready to format and upload for publishing as soon as I get my final cover design. Thinking about my second novel reminds me of when we had our second child. Our first child came into this world fourteen months after our wedding. I felt excited but also fearful that something would go wrong, and it was a difficult delivery. When I first saw my son, he hadn’t been completely cleaned up and his head was misshapen from the forceps. When my wife asked me if I had seen him and how beautiful and perfect he was, I hesitated. My first novel came into the world with high expectations, but it didn’t sell despite the rave reviews from the initial readers. (Long Journey’s End – Moving from Writer to Author) Eight months later, I still receive compliments on my cover whenever I post it on social media. Miblart, MIBLART | Book cover design services, the company that designed the cover for my first book, is designing the second cover as well. The initial design looked great but needed some minor changes. I should receive the updated design in the next week or two. With the cover, I can upload everything to Amazon and Ingram Sparks, for their review. If there are no errors, the book will be ready to publish, and I can set a release date for later this year. Second Book When we decided to have a second child seven years after the first, there was the same excitement but less fear. We knew what to expect and had more confidence in ourselves as parents. One difference though between releasing the books and having children is not knowing the exact date of the birth, especially since my wife didn’t require a c-section. With the book, I set the date. If I establish a late November or December publishing date, I will have four or five months to do the prepublication tasks that I left only six weeks to accomplish for my first book. After acceptance by Amazon and Ingram Sparks, advanced reader copies (ARCs) need to go out to reviewers to read and prepare Amazon reviews for posting on the release date. I didn’t do a good job of getting ARCs out on the first book. As a result, I only have 6 reviews on Amazon. Amazon's algorithm and readers like to have a minimum of twenty reviews. My goal is to reach or exceed that benchmark. The plan is to provide the ARC readers two to three months before the release date so they can comfortably finish the book.  If you would be interested in participating as an ARC reader, use the contact form on my website, Contact - C Buck Jones, or if you read this on Facebook, let me know through a comment. I will provide you with either an ePub or a pdf file to read. Proof Also, before the release date, I will have proof copies of the paperback sent to me from Amazon's and Ingram Sparks' print-on-demand services. These will undergo a final proofreading.  Whether it is your first child or sixth, the joy of seeing the newborn baby brings hope and happiness into your life. When the proof copies arrive, I get similar feelings of hope and happiness. Hope that the beautiful new baby will sell and be enjoyed by others. Happiness in holding the physical evidence of a book that I wrote. Salvation and Doom Proof Copy If you enjoy reading my blog, please use the pop-up to sign up to receive notifications and use the contact form to let me know you would like to receive my newsletter where I will provide updates on the launch for Lightning's Edge my new book. Read the full article

[c-h-stevens]

After a couple months of neglect (well, two and a half), I finally updated the AO3 mirror of my serial. Which is to say, I replaced the polished draft I'd posted there with a more polished and (I'm pretty sure) final draft.

Despite dropping off the face of the earth, I'd gotten one new subscriber--I wonder if that's a fandom veteran like me. Children these days aren't used to WIPs easily taking months or years to update, or to walk uphill in the snow for an update, blah blah old man ranting.

Though I have to say I'm not sure if I'm going to keep updating on AO3 forever. Strangely enough, I did a lot better on Tapas. Maybe it's not that strange, considering Tapas is actually oriented toward original fiction. But in that app, my readership is actually growing steadily, whereas in AO3, I got a bit of attention at first and then just--ended up posting new chapters weekly to a grand chorus of nothing.

Fine, not nothing, just the view count going up by 10 or so. And that's just not enough to build a readership on.

To be perfectly blunt, I'm not even talking about comments or kudos--I'm talking about money here. Because AO3 (for very good reasons, don't get me wrong) doesn't let you monetize your postings, the only way to make money posting there is to have a following big and enthusiastic enough they'll follow you into social media. It's a very roundabout way of doing things.

Meanwhile, on Tapas? I can do that passively. I mean that, though my readership is still on baby steps, I already know people are engaging with the story, and because I have a link on my profile with "go here if you want to read more and support me", I know people have followed that link into my Ko-fi. (Side note: cliffhangers tend to have this effect 😉)

Anyway, on AO3 I can't have that passive engagement, and I can't really tell people "go here and give me money". And because nobody was engaging beyond reading silently, it felt like a dead end.

(By the way, my fanfic account still gets kudos every now and then, despite being a no-name fan writing in tiny fandoms.)

Also, AO3 lets you download EPUB copies of the stories posted there, and I like that very much for fanfic--I heartily recommend everyone downloads every single fic they like, because you never know when they'll be gone.

But when it comes to my original fiction, I want to sell EPUBs in Gumroad or my website, so that people who want to support me but can't or don't want to purchase a Ko-fi membership can do so. And though having the AO3 version (theoretically) circulating around isn't a huge deal, I do find it slightly irritating.

So I'm currently on the fence about continuing to update on AO3. To be honest, the biggest reason why I didn't delete outright is that, after I got banned from Patreon, I wanted a backup I could be more or less sure wouldn't be deleted. Anybody feel like sharing any thoughts?

👇 OBLIGATORY PROMO, BECAUSE I'M STILL WORRIED ABOUT PAYING RENT 👇

A post I made yesterday about my rent problems and what I'm offering if you feel like giving me money

Links to my writing and other stuff

You might as well have an AO3 link too I guess

[deckards-audio-corner]

Fall’s is Here and I Haven’t Gotten Anything Done

Happy Fall everyone. Things have been rocky here in terms of any project work. Not long after settling into things I ended up getting sick, and I’m still battling the lingering cough here. I still wanted to post an update because some priorities have shifted around that I wanted to let y’all know about.

New Sound Libraries on Hold

While I was sick, I was doing some test recording in my recording closet here at the house, and unfortunately, it’s not any better than my old space, which wasn’t good enough to record quieter noise sources. Various recordings in my older libraries you may know have a relatively high noise floor throughout, and I don’t think there’s any reason to record further libraries until that issue is resolved, and I don’t want to diminish the quality of the recording through noise removal processing if I can avoid it. So, for now, while I troubleshoot and figure out a solution to this, I have put all library recording material on hold.

What's in the Works?

Recently there was a whole debacle over Unity’s attempt to squeeze more money out of their developer base, but it got me to finally give Godot a try. From poking around again in game audio development I decided that I’d like to finally dive into developing various game audio tools that creators can easily integrate into their projects. I started working on a basic audio toolset for Godot that I’m hoping to release, for free, before the end of the year. I’ll provide more information on this once it’s further along, but I plan on going from this project into a similar toolset for Unreal Engine.

And the Rest

My website is 99.99999% finished. I even have a test deployment up and running to finalize some things, so I’m going to get that finished this month so I can finally be done with it. I’ve also been doing various commission work that you may have seen pop up across various platforms. I intend to continue doing commissions, but may cut back to only 2 or 3 max per month so I can focus on my other projects. I’ve been very bad about focusing down the writing projects I have in the works, so I’m working on a scheduling method that I want to stick to and get things moving again.

Also, in regard to streaming, I ended up deciding not to focus on it for the time being. I’d like to eventually do a weekly audio stream, but with everything else I’m trying to get into a rhythm with, I’d rather focus on those first. In the meantime, I’ll stay active on the various sites you can find me on (outside of twitter, which is really only going to be used for project updates from now on). I may also use Tumblr to post various thoughts on audio related topics. It may help me get into the habit of writing more regularly, but we’ll see. I’ll definitely share links around if I do!

In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy October. Go get spooky!

- Deckard