#<- IT TRIED TO AUTOCORRECT TO WEEKEND HELP

[cyanide-sodapop]

“pose like your celebrity crush” bitch which one

like???i have several???

[12timetraveler]

Something In The Orange

Chapter 12

Summary:

The Matthews family take you and Charles to their cabin in Big Valley for a winter vacation.

Notes:

Y'all I am SO SORRY for how long this chapter has taken.

I hit some major burnout over the last few months. So much so that I've actually been put on short-term disability leave from work. I'm starting to feel a bit better and I've been able to do more writing, but I'm still pretty worn out if I'm honest.

As always, this chapter was written entirely on my phone, so any weird typos, autocorrect words, etc you can blame on my phone haha.

Anyway I hope I haven't lost all of you who've been here since the beginning.

As always below is a little preview. Read the whole chapter and the entire work (so far) on AO3

Reminder: You must be logged in to an AO3 account to read my works as I've had to lock them down to protect from AI Scraping.

~~~~~~

You couldn't help but smile as you examined the three pins on your Christmas stocking. Three Christmas seasons with the Matthews family, each marked with a little pin. The silver horse-drawn sleigh from the first year. Then a little mouse sleeping next to a piece of cheese with a bow from the second year. And this year was a cowgirl boot and hat dusted in snow.

Christmas was a month ago, of course. Hosea hadn't had time to take down the stockings. Or all the lights. Or the menorah. But you were actually kind of glad about that. It was nice to see the cheerful sight, even in late January.

Going back to campus after the winter holidays this year had been awful. You tried your best to be a good student, to get excited for your classes and get right back into studying. But you found your thoughts drifting more and more to your beloved. Wondering what he was doing. Missing his sweet voice, his herbal scent, his long cock. It had been torture.

Monday was a bank holiday, meaning the high schools and the universities had a three-day weekend. So Friday afternoon you and Arthur drove up to Firwood Rise to pick up Hosea, John, and the horses to go on a little weekend trip. The plan was to go out to a cabin Hosea and Dutch shared out in Big Valley, West Elizabeth.

Aside from a couple ranches, it was still mostly wild, and even in the winter the trail rides were unforgettable. Or so Arthur said. This was your first expedition with the Matthews men out to this cabin. You'd never been to Big Valley, but it was legendary for the beautiful, natural scenery.

Charles was going to meet you at the cabin early Saturday morning, since he had a late class on Friday. His old beat-up truck was a beast when it came to snowy mountain roads, so you weren't worried. And then the lot of you would spend the weekend trail riding, maybe doing some snow sports, just having a good time.

So that's how you found yourself standing in the Matthews living room, smiling at the stockings while the others loaded up the truck. You could hear John and Arthur yelling out in the yard as John backed the truck up to the horse trailer to hitch up. Occasionally Hosea's voice would cut in if the two got too close to an argument as John insisted he could do it while Arthur was adamant he was doing it wrong. Typical of the two brothers.

You heard the truck turn off, and the driver door open. “Told you I had it covered,” John's voice echoed just loud enough that you could hear from inside. You couldn't make out Arthur's retort, but based on the way John began to snap back, only to be cut off by Hosea’s sharp scolding, you could only imagine it was more brotherly banter.

The door opened a moment later. “Those boys,” Hosea tutted, stepping into the house, looking a little irritated, cheeks rosy from the cold. His face softened when he spotted you, and he shut the door behind him, glancing out the window to make sure John and Arthur weren't near before stepping toward you and pulling you into his arms.

“Hey,” you murmured, tilting your head up expectantly.

“Hi,” he whispered before granting your request for a kiss. “I've missed you.”

“I missed you too.” You nuzzled against his chest, the fabric of his jacket cold from the winter chill, but the warmth of him underneath still seeping through.

“The boys are loading up the horses and then we'll be good to go.” Hosea hummed.

“Okay,” you said, stepping back. “Before we go, I need your help with something.”

“Oh?” He asked. You jerked your head towards the stairs, gesturing for him to follow you. Once upstairs you led him to the bathroom, pulling him in and locking the door behind you.

“Dove, it'll only take a few minutes for the boys to get the horses loaded.” Hosea chuckled, immediately clocking what your intentions were.

“Five horses. It'll take them at least ten minutes right? Probably more.” You mumbled, guiding him backwards until he was pinned between you and the sink.

“Something like that,” he sighed as your hands settled on his waist. “The horses are all pretty good at loading.”

“That's enough time for what I have planned.”

[yes-i-am-happyaspie]

Happyapie's 2023 Sicktember Master List:

Lack of Self-Care G

With Pepper out of the country and a plethora of projects requiring his attention, Tony fails to participate in any kind of self-care. As a result, he’s overcome by a pounding headache. At some point, Peter shows up with a guilt-inducing look of harried concern.

- Hopelessly Bad at Self-Care - Pounding Headache

Don't Come Crying to Me G

In a moment of exasperation, Tony says to Peter ‘Don’t come crying to me when you get sick’. Peter takes the instructions to heart and a few months later when Tony invites him to help with a mission, he decides to keep the fact he woke up feeling awful under wraps. That goes just about as well as you would expect

- Hiding an Illness - “Wear Your Coat, You’ll Catch a Cold”

For a Friend T

Peter finds out Bucky is sick and spends his weekend at the Tower balancing between spending time with Tony and making sure his friend is taking care of himself. When it’s time for Peter to go home, he asks Tony to keep looking after Bucky. Reluctantly, Tony agrees... Of course, Peter can't stay away for long.

- “You’re a Jerk When You’re Sick” - ‘‘I shouldn’t be worried about you, but for some reason, I am’’ - Coughing Fit

Heat Below the Rubble G

Peter has a fever. And a night terror. All while asleep on the couch in Tony's lab. As Peter talks in his sleep, Tony finds out all about the fight with The vulture and the building that Peter was temporarily trapped beneath.

- Persistent Fever - Confused/Disoriented

Ned Leeds' Beginner's Guide to Faking Sick G

Peter really, really REALLY doesn't want to go on the scheduled class field trip. Ned doesn't understand why. But being the good friend that he is, Ned supports Peter's decision to be weird about it. And provides him with a comprehensive, step-by-step guide to faking sick. And well- things don't exactly go as planned...

- Beginner's Guide to Faking Sick - Anxious Stomach

AutoCorrect: Teen to Todd G

While staying with Tony, Peter comes down with a common cold. Unsure of how to help with the situation, Tony turns to the internet.

Casually, he typed into his phone’s search bar, ‘How to take care of a sick teenager.’ Although the devices autocorrect, promptly updated the search to ‘How to take care of a sick toddler.’ After noticing the unwarranted correction, he looked thoughtfully at Peter. The kid was lying pathetically across the couch, staring vacantly at some weird-looking cartoon on the television. Suddenly, the new search terms didn’t feel all that far off and he thought to himself, ‘Eh. Close enough.’

- Consulting the Internet/Web MD - Forehead Kisses

Face First(aid) T

While out on patrol, Peter decided he might not be feeling all that well. Eventually he decides to swing home but his stomach is iffy, his body aches and his brain is a bit sluggish. As a result he ends up slamming face first into a billboard, creating an explosion of pain around his nose. His AI was quick to alert Mr. Stark and bring up an ETA countdown in the corner of his HUD. He can’t decide if he was annoyed or relieved.

“Hey, Kid. Does your face hurt?”

- Sick and Injured - "I could Really Use a Hug Right About Now"

Signs of Sickness G

Peter wakes up one morning feeling tired and achy. He doesn’t think too much of it until his stomach starts to hurt on the way home from school. He tries to tell Tony he doesn't feel good but after dropping his phone there’s a language barrier larger than he knows how to fill in such a harried state. But everything ends up okay. Tony and Pepper are there for him.

- Sick in an Inconvenient Place. - Terms of Endearment/Nicknames

Happy to Stay G

Tony has been out of the county, and Happy has been tasked with making sure Peter is there to greet him when he gets back. Only Happy wasn’t really expecting the kid to be sick when he picked him up from school. Nor was he expecting to have to coax said kid into admitting it. But there he was, suddenly in charge of taking care of his superhero boss’s sick superhero pseudo son. [Happy's pov!]

- "What happened to your phenomenal immune system, huh?" - “Did you just sneeze?” - “The only place we’re going is to the pharmacy”

On Edge T

When Peter heads out on Patrol feeling overly exhausted and a little under the weather, May asks Tony to keep an eye on him. Tony happily takes on the task and everything is going perfectly well. Until the Spider-Suit’s GPS stalls right in the middle of the Queensboro Bridge and Tony decides his best course of action is to, well- panic. Even if it isn’t necessary.

- “I should have stayed home” - “I’m so sorry”

These are all a part of the 25 fic series,  Sicktember 2021-2023

[rosethornewrites]

T & G reading since 10/1

Finished

Teen:

Want a duck?, by weiyus

In his excitement to ask Lan Zhan ‘want a duck?’, he had typed so fast he ended up typing ‘wanta duck?’ which then autocorrected to ‘wanna fuck?’. He accidentally asked Lan Zhan for sex. Not only did he accidentally ask Lan Zhan for sex, Lan Zhan said yes. In which autocorrect changes an innocent question into something no-so innocent.

Spelling errors and Autocorrect, by weiyus (2nd in a series)

Because of course Wei Ying probably sent the text without checking the spelling, and autocorrect sent out a text with an entirely different meaning than what Wei Ying meant. Because now it was obvious that Wei Ying didn’t mean ‘wanna fuck?’, he probably meant something along the lines of ‘want a duck?’ but the meaning got lost in all the spelling errors and autocorrect. This is Lan Zhan's pov to "Want a Duck?"!

probably in our past life and in our next lives, by neozeka

Day 1 - Emotional Reunion

Will you remember me in our next life?

How could I not?

Wei Ying sees a familiar face at an art gallery

when the gentians bloom again, by Yuisaki

“You’ll get cold.”

That’s okay, Lan Zhan thinks.

“It’ll be dark. You hate the dark, A-Zhan.”

Not if A-Niang opens the doors and floods the path with the light inside. Not if A-Niang lets him in.

Outside the gentian house, a small rabbit waits for the doors to open.

General:

It Has Always Been You, by GusuBunnie

After a few minutes Wei Ying pulls apart. With red orbs he demands, “If I tell you to choose between him and me, who will you choose?” “There is no need for choosing,” Lan Zhan answers in a low tone, “There is no past lover, no one else who has my heart. Only you, it has always been you, Wei Ying.” Inching closer, he places Wei Ying’s open palm against his beating heart. “My heart has always been yours.” “Don’t lie to me! It belongs to him!” Or During the month of which the grand celestial wedding is to be held, High Immortal Wei Wuxian finds out that his betrothed, the Crown Prince Lan Wangji, already has someone else he loves.

Gift, by Quiet_crash

It wasn't often that he did so but on certain occasions Wei Wuxian found himself thinking of Mo Xuanyu.

spiderless, by @ronniexian

This is how Wei Ying meets his hot new neighbor.

Suddenly I Was Home, by Ashura

Meditation fails him. He tries to sit in stillness and calm the wild tempest of emotion battering at his mind, but none of his usual techniques help him. Perhaps this is a kind of meditation now — to sit in quiet wonder and watch Wei Ying asleep. If his breath eases and his heartbeat slows, it is because the longer he remains, the less likely it becomes that Wei Ying will disappear.

----

After bringing him back to Cloud Recesses, Lan Wangji watches Wei Ying sleep and attempts to deal with the feelings brought on by seeing the love of his life alive again.

I Wanted to Ask You Out, But You Beet Me To It, by katje (🔒)

If anybody asked, the real reason Wei Ying left the corporate machine was that he was taking over his grandmother’s old farm because she was getting too old to care for it. Which was not untrue, but definitely less relevant to his quick departure than being unable to stand the thought of teaching Jerry from HR how to convert a Word doc to a PDF one more fucking time.

OR

It is Wei Ying's first weekend running a stand at the local farmer's market, and he meets the man (and bunnies) of his dreams.

Forehead Kisses, by gusucloudbunny (dykebytrade)

I had a vision of little A-Yuan up on Wei Wuxian's shoulders giving Lan Wangji a forehead kiss and then proceeded to write this on my phone while I was at work 🤷

what price is duty, what cost is love, by thunderwear (6 chapters)

The Patriarch had joked about putting him in a veil, but Lan Wangji refused outright, the only piece of autonomy he’d demanded for the whole thing. Being covered like that, trapped, would have made him panic. He might have let tears drip down his cheeks if he hadn’t had to worry about anyone seeing his face.

As Lan Wangji bowed, he thought of his mother, and he almost wept anyway.

In an effort to keep the Yiling Patriarch from destroying their own sects like he’d destroyed Wen Ruohan’s, the Great Sects band together an offer him an alliance in the form of a marriage.

Who better to offer than the Second Jade of Lan?

A pleasant surprise, by DamieMontclair

Day 23: Family (Children/Babies) – Lan Xichen and A-Yuan

Lan Xichen had not expected his brothers… excursion… to end with him bringing back a child and then promptly passing out.

Unfinished

Teen:

Pure Imagination, by Witch_Nova221

Close your eyes... Make a wish... Count to three. When his son's beloved toy is damaged in an accident, Lan Wangji finds himself engaging the services of an eccentric toy maker by the name of Wei Wuxian. Whilst his skill at his craft is undeniable, his outlandish tales are hard to believe. Jaded by time and the pressure of raising a son whilst caring for his ailing mother, Lan Wangji struggles to step into the magical world that Wei Wuxian weaves for all he meets. Why does the toy shop stand amidst a street forgotten by time? And why can Wei Wuxian never venture far from his home without someone there to turn a key in the music box bearing his own figurine?

so i cut the shackles and changed my name, by MichelleFeather

“A-Ying, should anything happen, should you be separated from us or find yourself in need of help, find Lan Qiren in Cloud Recesses. No matter what’s happened, he will keep you safe. He has sworn to me his home will always be open to you, no matter what.”

Following the advice of his late mother, Wei Ying runs away from Lotus Pier, knowing that if he were to stay, he would likely die at the hands of Madam Yu.

And, he finds, the Lan Clan is the place where he was always supposed to be.

General:

An Unforseen Shift, by Remma3760

Wei Wuxian found a resentful sword deep in the bowels of a famed beast. He took it. That turned out to be fortunate since, it would seem, the sword had more than one purpose. That sword was the key to their escape from certain death trapped in the cave of the Slaughter Xuanwu.

The Unintended, by Indelible_Faith (TheWaterGoddess), Thedivinewriter_20

Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang have a perfect plan. Get Lan Wangji to confess how much Wei Wuxian annoys him out loud. And Jin Zixuan to confess his ill-treatment of Jiang Yanli in a similar manner.

Perhaps “confess” was the wrong word used here… because this is not turning out how they imagined it, at all!

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

15 QUESTIONS FOR 15 FRIENDS

Tagged by @izzy-b-hands Thank you so much!! I know tag games are slowly fading from fashion, but they are a lovely excuse to rant a bit!

1.) ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Nope! When my mother gave birth she randomly chose a name from a book she liked! She was between two, one becoming my name second becoming my middle name! (My middle name being -Amaya!)

I have been debating changing my, but it's a misspelling of a common name. If someone says it there's a 50/50 chance they say the male spelling, so I can't *not* appreciate it. That and it flows off the tongue with my last name.

[BUT OMG- Izzy would be *such* a good nickname. My ongoing gender crisis makes it hard to choose just 1.(Though I will 100% get a spade/swallow/Polaris(4-pointed star) tattoo on my hand at some point)]

2.) WHEN WAS THE LAST NIGHT YOU CRIED?

I don't know. Probably around 2-3 months ago??? I've been very busy lately, and usually only cry with fic or when it just *naturally* happens. I've been stressed, so I think I'll plan out a good cry this weekend!

Recently I've been frustrated after I received critiques about how I write in a few college classes, which has been a bit rough, but I'll learn from it. A lot of this has to do with how having a bad attention span affects how I write(if you're a follower of mine, you've definitely noticed my errors). I've noticed this in my fanworks as well, a lot of missed words or autocorrects incorrectly editing my work. I am debating going back and re-editing everything out of embarrassment. A combination of ADHD+ Dyslexia is hell when you like writing.

3.) DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

No! No hate to those who do, but I don't think I could be a parent. I know I CAN but I haven't beaten my demons yet, and I wouldn't want to pass them down. I want to make sure I can work through my own habits first.

If I could afford them? I would be much more 50/50. In a few years if my partner REALLY wants them, and we have a support system to help raise them, and we can afford them? MAYBE. I'm the eldest in my family, so maybe I'll get to be a cool uncle.

4.) WHAT SPORTS HAVE YOU PLAYED/DO YOU PLAY?

I'm very uncoordinated. I tried out for the volleyball team when I was around 13, and didn't make the team. On top of having issues showing up consistently that would have made weekly practice hell, I have always been a twig. In High School, after I figured my own habits out a bit more, I was in band/marching band and theater!

Today, I work on my feet, and enjoy indoor rock climbing and weight lifting. Though it really doesn't look like I do!

5.) DO YOU USE SARCASM?

Yes! But it doesn't land unless you've known me forever. I think I'm a hoot, but if I take the energy I bring hanging out with family into the real world? It doesn't transfer. My humor is very dry and half the time people end up explaining how 'you don't understand___' when in reality, I was making a joke. Now I'm getting a lecture.

6.) WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

Besides outward appearance, I tend to notice moods pretty well before they start talking. Stress, anxiety, anger, happiness, etc, someone's body language. Might be a survival mechanism from growing up with my parent, but it's helpful. THAT and I have a really bad resting bitch face, and 'sad' looking eyes that make me not, look happy 90% of the time. If I do, I'm purposefully smiling.

The 'energy' someone brings to the conversation usually determines how it's going to go. I'm awful with names and faces. At my current job, I've been there since November and can only name 5/40ish coworkers. It's currently March.

Body part-wise? Eyes. I force eye contact like it's no one's business.

7.) WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?

Brown! Dark brown, not yet black. I usually wear brown glasses to match my brown hair+eyes. Plus a brown jacket/boots. Overall, I also dress in a LOT of browns. Very 70s-style white hippie meets flannels!

8.) SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

BOTH!

I'm joking, but in all actuality, I just need narrative consistency that fits the tone of your story. Realize if it's a tragedy or comedy and give it a fitting ending.

If we assume this question is more 'do you want to be scared/sad from the stuff you watch or do you just want comfort media?' I heavily lean more comfort. Though I love taking these shows and turning them a bit horrific, it's always to serve a central idea of character growth.

'Character A from show needs to learn a lesson'. Alright, what if the thing that teaches them this lesson is a ghost. Or if a character is thrown into the world suddenly alone-they to have them learn they are competent and not helpless. If that makes any sense.

I enjoy horror/tragedy as a group of tropes but enjoy it more as a way to tell a human story.

9.) ANY TALENTS?

I would frame them as hobbies more than talents, as I've never been naturally good at anything.

I enjoy playing bass guitar/guitar, I embroider, and of course, I write. But I am trying to improve in all of these as I go about my life.

For my instruments, I rely on Rocksmith! I love hooking up an instrument, turning my mind off, and letting my fingers do the work as I listen to songs I like on repeat. As I mentioned with being uncoordinated above with sports, it's slow progress, but I'm having fun doing it!

When I write, I know I have issues really editing my work. I'll change a sentence, and miss a few words in the edit, so now the entire paragraph doesn't flow. That, with dyslexia and the writing platform I use having a less than reliable spell check? Yeah. I wish to improve in how I write. My sentences often don't flow together. I jump from thought to thought, but I'm getting better at catching my thoughts. I only just started writing again in 2022, so I'm trying not to be too hard on myself.

I've been told I'm good with lecturing, but that's just from my love of writing essays.

10.) WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Small town in Montana, USA. I've lived in Texas, Hawaii, and Virginia due to family being in the military until I was in my early teens. I would say I'm a Montana'ian, as I've spent over half of my life here. It's not awful, the price of living is getting bad as nature lovers with money take the property, but things could be worse. I wish I could leave the US. However, I've realized I need to grow my career and have experience before any country would let me emigrate. So I'll be in my thirties before I have the chance to. (I have no idea if that GIF is in Montana but it fits the vibe)

11.) WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

Writing, reading, drawing(it's god awful, but I doodle), listening to music, and I've been trying to get into recording podfics for a year at this point. My hatred of my own voice is seriously holding me back.

12.) DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

Yes! I currently have two cats of my own, Polly and Cricket. Both of whom I have inserted into the random fic, as some overly proud pet parents can admit to. They've been with me since early high school, 2016ish. As I currently live with family and do online school, they live with me, and have since 2020. But, due to me going back to in-person classes this fall, my mother will be taking them back. I highly empathize with @izzy-b-hands as I will be in a similar situation soon. Shit sucks!

13.) HOW TALL ARE YOU?

5'9/5'10. Taller if I'm in my boots! I enjoy it.

14.) FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

Even with my issues keeping a consistent thought, and god-awful dyslexia, I loved English. I averaged around a 90% even if I tried my hardest, but I just fell in love with story analysis and literature. Back then I was convinced a STEM field would save me, so I graduated with 7 math courses and 6 sciences completed in 4 years. Only indulging in the 1 required English in all four years of school. If not for the pandemic and college making me realize I hated most sciences, I wouldn't have fallen back in love with writing. Not taking the schools english classes was my main regret in Highschool.

So either English or History. History was easy for me-I had A+'s in all my courses. Mainly because I memorized historical events like one would a story. Good stuff though.

15.) DREAM JOB?

Writer-teacher-therapist. I am working on becoming the ladder but honestly, the retention rate is so low, most leave the field in their first ten years. I wouldn't want to be a teacher to gen alpha kids, given how most are years behind their grade. But a professor wouldn't be a bad job.

My want to be a therapist comes from controlling some of my hours, and in-depth interactions with the public that go beyond fake customer service smiles. I hate dehumanization and all my jobs so far have been putting on more masks that I already have been struggling to take off for years. That, and I have issues doing work I'm not passionate about but I already see myself falling in love with the field. Especially drug rehabilitation work. My main hesitancy is how our current healthcare system in the US is unaffordable and hard to manage for the insured or uninsured.

If being a therapist falls through, I've enjoyed most of my janitorial jobs. I enjoy working at warehouses right now, given how they let you listen to music and the work is independent, but I've most enjoyed being a janitor in a hospital's kitchen. Maybe I can take the analysis I do here and make YouTube videos? Who knows. I don't dream of labor, but a menial 9-5 where I clock out and have a life sounds perfect. I am not what my job position says I am.

But @izzy-b-hands is right, any sugar-baby situation is preferable!

[chaoticgoodlawyerwrites]

It's a good thing my girlfriend loves and understands fanfiction just as much as I do, or else she would be *quite* jealous of all the love I am sending to you and your work right now!!! I just!!!! Ahdhdjsjajaj!!!! Ohh my God, you actually even wrote it on your phone, I am filled with awe and adoration right now, and I haven't even read the chapter yet!!! (This chapter also comes at the tail end of a rough weekend, so I'm especially grateful to have something wonderful to look forward to tonight) <33333

Happy the notification can help cheer you! Though I will warn this chapter is… A Lot. A Lot a lot. There are certainly moments of humor, but it’s a lot of emotional hits.

Also never want to write a chapter this long on my phone again. Do you know how much it wants to autocorrect names? Tianlang-Jun (even this took three tries!) was a nightmare to write on this thing.

Platonically sending love back!!

[carrotmakar]

All The Things I Didn’t Say

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: Exactly 3,443

Summary: You and Harry get into a fight and the things he never told you tear him up inside.

A/N: This is my first ever Harry fic, I hope you enjoy it! (Sorry if it sucks I tried) ~also thank you @fancyxholland for beta reading this, I cannot thank you enough love:)~

Masterlist

Request anything here but be sure to read my guidelines

Add yourself to my taglist here 

*

It had been weeks since you last talked. You had been doing everything in your power to avoid the green eyed devil, scared that one simple glance in your direction could make you fall for him all over again. And that wasn’t something that you were ready for. You weren’t able to willingly put yourself in that position again.

You weren’t going to allow him to demolish your heart like he did the last time you saw him. You were still broken from then, and you really don’t know if you could handle another heartbreak, especially not this soon.

You hadn’t slept right since you split, not being used to his side of the bed being cold all the time. You washed the sheets and everything that smelled like him almost instantly after he left the house. You couldn’t bear to smell him all the time. You knew that keeping the scent of him lingering in your house would make you latch onto him even more than you already were.

You hadn’t eaten a proper meal in what feels like forever, your body barely having enough energy to get you to the bathroom. 

It was safe to say that Harry left you broken. But can you really blame it all on him? Was it really justified of you to do so?

Maybe. He was the one that went off on you, yelled and screamed and hit every place he knew would tear you apart.

But maybe not. Maybe it was your fault. You hadn’t paid attention to him, not noticing that he was clearly hurting. You tried to push him into going out when he oh so clearly didn’t want to.

There was also the fact that you kicked him out, told him to get out of your face and to not come back, without even letting him explain himself. 

You found yourself in front of the tv most days, not really paying attention to whatever was playing, just needing the background noise now that you didn’t have Harry to hum to you or to strum his guitar while working on new material. 

Every single time you found yourself there, you let your mind wander. Let yourself believe that maybe he was missing you as much as you were missing him. That maybe he was thinking about you.

You were aware of the fact that wasn’t healthy, that the last thing you  should be doing while trying to get over him was to let him run rampant in your mind, but you couldn’t help it.

He was your everything. He had been since the moment that you met him, his green eyes seemingly brightening every dark corner of your life. He made you feel like you could breathe fresh air for the first time ever. It was like you had always been breathing the same, a little labored but unnoticed because that’s how it always was, but then he came into your life and showed you everything that you had been missing.

It was worse now than it was before. This time, you knew what you were missing. The laboring breaths from before meeting him were coming back, but this time that’s all you could focus on. You were so used to feeling complete that it physically hurt to not be around him. To not have him to keep you company. To not be able to kiss his lips or hold him close. 

Your life felt incomplete, so yeah, at times, you let your mind wander to the times when it felt like you weren’t going to fall apart from the slightest breeze.

*

God, he missed you. He pasted on a smile and acted like nothing was wrong around everyone, posing for the media, but the second he got home, everything was different. 

Usually, he would either do his own hair - him being a fully capable adult and all - or you would do it for him, letting him enjoy the feeling of your fingers raking through his locks.

But now, the way his curls were done was a completely different story. He either had his hair stylist come over before he went out anywhere, or - more often that not - he went around looking disheveled.

Even though he had tried his best to hide it, those closest to him saw. Mitch caught the dark bags under his eyes. Sarah quickly caught onto the fact that when he was crying during rehearsals, it was because all of his songs were about you.

You had been his muse.

You were the inspiration behind everything that he did, and he no longer felt like he could function. You had been gone for all of a few weeks and he was falling apart, unable to pull himself back together.

The songs had stopped being written, the interviews had stopped being scheduled, his whole entire life came to a screeching halt. All because he no longer had you. 

Not that he could blame you. You had every right to make him leave, to look at him and tell him to never think about you again. He was the one who took out all his anger at you, the one person he didn’t want to lose his cool to. 

He had tried, he had done nothing but try for the entire time that you had been apart to do exactly what you had asked. To forget about you, to not think about you in the slightest.

He really did. But things didn’t work out that way. Every time that he had tried to write a song, he had ended up writing you a letter. There weren’t many, seeing as he had soon realized that they were going nowhere. 

He knew that you didn’t want to talk to him, that you didn’t want to hear a word that came from him. If you really wanted him back, you would make the first move, that’s how you are, how you always have been. 

So he wrote them and laid them on his desk, allowing them to haunt him every moment he was in their general vicinity.

*

All you wanted was to hear from him. It had been weeks, if he really wanted you back he would have reached out, Harry wasn’t the guy that just sat back and waited for things to come to him. He knew what he wanted and he went after those things with his eye on the prize, never stopping until he made his goal.

Which means that his goal wasn’t to get you back. Maybe he just really didn’t want you. 

You couldn’t blame him for it, you had been distant and ignoring all his signs probably weeks before the fight. You made him think that you didn’t care and he was completely justified in wanting something else, something better, with someone that actually deserved him.

You knew him, however, he was going to make sure that you had moved on before he did, wouldn’t want to date someone else while you’re still heartbroken. The only problem with that is that you don’t know if you’ll ever be okay without him. Not a single part of you can see yourself moving on.

So you do what you do every time something goes wrong. You fake the happiness. You fake the fact that you’re okay. You plaster on a smile and hope that it’s believable enough to make people stop worrying.

A part of you knows that this won’t be enough this time, though, so you go the extra step. You block his number. If he tries to text, it won’t go through. That’s the only way that he can get ahold of you. He never used Instagram, knowing his messages to you could easily get lost in the thousands he gets from fans every single day.

It takes you a pretty long time, and a whole lot of willpower, but after you do block his only means of contact, it feels as if there’s a weight lifted off of your shoulders. It’s a lot easier to pretend to be happy if the thing that’s making you upset isn’t looming over your head.

Everything had been foggy since you made Harry leave, but this made at least one thing clear. You were going to be alright, at least a little more than you had been for the past few weeks. You may have to fake it for a little while, but the first step to feeling better had already been taken.

*

He was not going to be alright. His friends kept telling him that he would be, that she was just another girl in a sea of millions more. But that wasn’t true. They all knew it wasn’t true. They just wanted the old Harry back. They wanted their friend back.

The guy that used to go out every weekend with his friends and celebrate, if nothing else, surviving another week, was gone. Left behind was the shell of a man that was broken into a million pieces and being held together by the scotch tape that he called his fake smile.

He had gone out with his friends tonight, though. He had wanted them to have some fun and knew that they felt bad for doing so if he couldn’t have fun too. 

He had filled himself with alcohol, taking shot after shot until your face was blurry in his mind. He had poured liquid courage into glass after glass until he found himself composing text messages to you and sending them. The only things left in his mind were what you would say and him hoping that his autocorrect was working well tonight.

I miss you, shouldn’t have blown up. I also should’ve contacted you earlier, was stupid not to God I love you so much, I can’t sleep without you, feels wrong laying in bed without you curled up next to me

He took another look at his phone, fighting to get through the blurr to see if you had received them. And to his horror, they weren’t going through. You had blocked him. 

So he had his next drunken idea, he was going to send the letters. Actually, no, he was going to take you the letters. 

But there was still one more that he needed to write.

*

You weren’t a good actor. You really tried, but your forced smile didn’t go unnoticed by your friends. They knew you, probably better than you know yourself, so when they look at you and give you smiles of pity and try to get you a new guy to hookup with, you know that you’re not doing well at convincing them in the slightest.

You can’t even bring yourself to contradict them. They’re right. You miss Harry. You miss his hugs and the way that his scent would cling to anything that he touched, even for a second. You missed the way his seafoam green irises would stare into your eyes as if you were the only person in the world. He would listen to you as if your words were more important than anything that he had ever heard.

Why didn’t you do the same?

Why didn’t you pay attention?

Why didn’t you see that he was hurting?

Or did you? Did you see it and just chose to ignore it, too caught up in your perfect little world?

At this point, you couldn’t say, the only thing that you know is you want Harry back. You can’t breathe without him. You’re no better now than you were when you made him leave.

You just wanted him to come back to you.

*

Y/N,

Hello, Um, I’ve never written a love letter to anyone but you, and this is the first one I’m writing with the intent of giving it to you, so I apologize if this sounds crazy.

I miss you. So fucking much. I never knew that someone could miss another person this much. I miss you when I’m trying to sleep and you’re not there to cuddle up with me. I miss you when I’m cooking and you’re not there to sit on the counter and taste test for me. I miss you when I’m getting ready in the mornings, wishing that your fingers were working their way through my crazy hair and not my own.

But most of all, I miss driving with you. I miss having you in my passenger seat. I miss having you there to pick the music and keep everything light and airy. I miss holding your hand and drawing random patterns on your knuckles. I miss the way you would study each of the tattoos that you could see every single time that we would get into the car. You would look over them, trace each little line like it was the first time you had ever seen them.

You make me feel like art, even when I don’t feel so hot. You make me see the best in life.

I’m so fucking sorry Y/N. I shouldn’t have blown up at you. I should have sat down and talked to you like good boyfriends do. I should have just stopped getting in my own head and opened up to you.

We’d never fought like that. Sure, we’d argue over the miniscule things, but we never let it get this bad. I shouldn’t have let it get that bad. I should have manned up and told you why I was being distant towards you.

I never meant to hurt you. I really didn’t. But I know that I did break your heart. I could see it in the way you looked at me.

I’m not asking that you take me back, that would be pretty narcissistic of me, thinking that if I ask, you’ll just welcome me back with open arms.

I don’t expect that of you. I broke your heart. I know that.

All I’m asking is that you give me the chance, at some point, to let me put it back together.

(Hopefully) Yours,

H

He sealed the envelope and worked up the courage to drive to your house. He didn’t even know if you’d be there. Or if you were, if you’d be there alone. You could have easily moved on from him. It wouldn’t have been hard for you. Any guy would be blessed to have you in their life. 

He just hoped that you had been missing him even a fraction of how much he missed you.

Before he could overthink it too much, he grabbed the envelopes, sought out his keys, and made his way to the house you used to share.

On the drive there, he left the radio off, not being able to concentrate on anything else besides the worry that you hated him.

You couldn’t hate him. Could you?

Harry couldn’t remember the drive to your house being so long. How did he have this much time to doubt everything?

He was not like this. He never doubted himself. He always had faith in himself. He knew that people liked him, and he took a certain amount of pride in that. 

But he was none of those things around you. He was anxious. He wanted you to come back to him. He was hoping that maybe, just maybe, you would give him a second chance. 

It’s going to be fine. She’ll read the letters and you’ll at least get to see her face one more time, Harry says continuously to himself as he walks up to your door and rings the bell.

*

You hadn’t invited anybody over. You don’t know who could possibly be at your door. Unless it was those girl scouts coming back to sell their cookies. Little do they know that you don’t even like them. Harry’s the one with the love for them. He’s the one that buys every box that they have on them every time.

You groan and pull yourself out of bed, trudging to the door to break the news to the girls. You expect a few hurt faces that’ll guilt you into buying a few boxes and giving them away.

What you don’t expect is to find the curly haired man when you open the door.

You open your mouth to speak, but he stops you, “Look, I know. You don’t want to see me. I just- I need to give you these. I-I’ve been trying to leave you be but,” he reached his free hand up to run through his unruly curls, “I can’t stop thinking about you. And I know, I messed up, I don’t deserve to even be here right now.” He pauses for a moment to take a deep breath and you try to speak again but he’s faster. “I don’t expect anything, I just ask that you read these letters. It’s all the things I didn’t say. I know that doesn’t make up for it, I just want you to read them. Please.”

“H…” you breathe, trying to find the right words.

“Anyway, yeah. Um, here.” he hands you the letters and turns around, “I’m going to give you time to read them. If you wanna talk, you have my number. If not, I get it.”

You watch him walk for a moment, wondering if what you’re about to do is a good idea. But honestly, you don’t care. You miss him way too much to let him walk away again.

“H, wait!” he stops but doesn’t turn around. “Come back, please. I miss you. I just- I’m sorry.” He turns around and slowly makes his way towards you, as if moving with caution.

“Really? Are you going to read the letters still?” He looks nervous, waiting for you to confirm or deny whether you’re playing with his heart.

“I’m still going to read the letters, I just want you here with me.” 

*

He can feel himself relax, his mind slowing down the marathon it had been running since he began his journey to your house. 

You were going to read the letters. You missed him. Maybe you would give him a chance.

He hoped so. God, he hoped so. He wanted you back so bad that he would do literally anything in the world to have you back in his arms.

He would spend his entire life making it up to you, whether you were his or not.

*

You open the first letter and begin to read.

Y/N,

So I know we’re not talking, but everyone says maybe this will help me. My therapist says maybe this can make it easier for me to sleep. So here I go.

I’m such an idiot, I messed up the best thing in my life. I see you in everything that I do and everywhere that I go. I’m trying to give you your space. Trying to let you have whatever you want. I’m trying so hard darling. But it’s so hard.

I’m not used to sleeping in a bed without you in it. I’m not used to not having you to curl around and the scent of your shampoo to breathe in. 

I can’t leave the house without thinking that you should be coming with me. I can’t drive without wishing that you were in my passenger seat.

I can’t do this without you. I don’t know how I ever lived without you before, and I definitely don’t know how I’m going to do so now.

I guess I’m going to try to sleep now.

Yours

Harry

You look up at him with tears in your eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for? You haven’t done anything wrong?” He questions.

“You haven’t been able to sleep.” You crawl from your place on the couch over to him, looking at him for consent before cuddling into his side.

“It’s alright, darling. I deserved it.” He squeezes you closer to his body and you can feel every muscle in your body relax. “You still have more letters to read.” He whispers.

“Can I read them tomorrow? Missed you too much to be reading anything when I could be looking at your face.” You mumble, causing him to chuckle and look down at you.

“We can do whatever you want, darling.” He says, granting you a small smile.

“Good, because I wanna cuddle in our bed and actually get a good night's sleep.” You yawn, sleep already coming easier to you now that he was back.

“That sounds good to me, love. Come on, let’s go to bed.” He picks you up, carrying you to your room. And that’s when it hits you.

You have Harry back.

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Harry Styles Taglist: (empty as of right now)

[dumbass-mha-simp]

Hawks x Reader

This is very self indulgent tbh. Mostly gender neutral but does mention make up. Also the reader has mega family trauma cuz same.

Warnings: mentions of food, alcohol, reader is drunk but keigo is vv respectful & doesn't try anything, reader doesn't talk to their family, past family abuse, reader is kinda mean to him at first

I wrote this at like 4am and my phone is wonky and keeps autocorrecting "you" to "he" for no reason but i did like one quick pass through before posting so hopefully it's good enough, this is probably one of the first times I've actually published my fanfiction so hopefully it ain't shit,

----------------------------------

For the last couple months you've been teasing him. Practically any other girl in your position would swoon in your position. But where's the fun in letting him get what he wants so quick?

Pro Hero Hawks, had seemingly everyone wrapped around his finger. With eyes pierced in deep gold and, blazing, ruby red wings, it's hard for anyone to not be attracted to him.

You stood in the back corner of a "special hero party," trying to discern if you should sneak out and do anything more interesting than standing with a bunch of other heros.

"Hello there, beautiful." A thick and sweet voice called as you turned your head to them. "Looking lonely all alone back here, let me join?" Hawks, the number two hero was offering to stand with you. Staying it is I suppose.

"I admire your work, you're really dedicated kid. I like watching your stuff." He says taking a slow sip of his drink.

"You? You watch me?" The disbelief of it rung through in sarcasm. How were you to expect someone like him watched your work. You continued sipping from your drink, even if it was a boring party there was free fancy alcohol and that's all a hero could ever need.

"I wanna see more of you, and not just on the screen or anything. I want to get to know you, you know, maybe take you out a bit, hottie." He uses his middle finger to gently lift your chin up.

"And why do you think I'd immediately just accept some date from a guy I've never even talked to?" You dryly laugh out taking another sip.

"C'mon pretty thing, you know me. Your friendly neighborhood Hawks. The hottest, and most loved person you'll ever meet."

"Ah that's what you are, the hot, amazing, charming, hero to any and all." You scoffed

"The one and only."

You spent the rest of the night either playing hard to get, or annoyed at him. You couldn't exactly tell.

This carried on for months, every event you attended, he was right there on your heels like an abandoned, clingy puppy. He's even started patrolling with you.

"Say when are you gonna quit and just accept a date dollie?" He charmed up behind you.

"I'm at work, Hawks." Your boots cracked on the wet pavement as the last bits of rain desperately clung to the air.

"Why do you play so hard to get?" He questioned in a more serious tone. He was genuinely curious about you. "Most people would kill to have me begging for them, let alone after giving me to cold shoulder so many times." You could hear the upturn in his lips as he spoke.

"Why do you happen to find me the one person worth going for?" You retorted back.

"You interest me. There's very few people I'm genuinely curious about, but one of them's you, kid." He looked up into your eyes from the street. Something you'd never thought you'd see in Hawks' eyes was sincerity over such a topic. He genuinely wanted to know you.

".........Let's just say letting people in isn't my forte." You say quickly but with a slight hint of pain. You begin to walk off again and he doesn't question. He doesn't push you to tell him why. But you could see the way he processes your words on his face.

A bar, on a Thursday night, alone. How pathetic of you. Luckily you had no work tomorrow, a big mission the week before let them cut a couple weekends longer. As you downed your refill you questioned how many you've had.

"How long have I been here?" You whispered slightly to yourself before bringing it to your lips.

The warm rush reflow through your body as you let yourself fall to it. The bartender looked at you from the corner of his eye.

"I'm cutting you off for the night." He looks earnestly at you.

"Now that's not very nice there." You laugh back at him.

You pull out your phone and attempt to call some friends but lucky enough for you, you chose a night they were all at work to recklessly get drunk in the middle of the city. The only other contact you could think of was Hawks.

There's no way he'll pick up. He's gotta be busy. I could find literally anyone else to do it. You mutter in your brain as you go into his contact and start a call.

It rings twice before his voice calls out to you. "Hey this is hawks. ... (Y/h/n), are you there?"

Okay act cool and sober. "Heeeeyyy bird." Shit.

You could practically feel his shit eating grin across the phone. "You in need of a hero babe?"

"Can you please pick me up?" A whine took over your voice. You hated being drunk in front of people like him. That soft affectionate side seems to burst its way out when the alcohol takes control.

"Tell me where you are birdie." He said as you heard some ruffling. "(Bar name idk)." You rough out tiredly.

"Be right there angel." He called before hanging up.

You put the phone down on the counter and groaned. Why him? You try so hard to make sure you don't fall for people. They always end up like the last. You feel like they stop caring once they really meet you. Like they don't want the cake after the first bite.

Used, alone, and forgotten. It's a stabbing feeling that your used to. A feeling of burning heaviness in your stomach.

You sit slumped down onto the bar contemplating your feelings for the winged hero for awhile. Why can't emotions just be controlled?

"Hey-o!" You heard a voice from behind you break through the thoughts corrupting your mind. Hawks smiled and thanked the bartender before reaching his arms around you and helping you off the stool.

I didn't know he could be so gentle..

He walked you out the door and held your arms softly, but supportedly as he looked you in the face. "I'm gonna fly us okay? Don't wriggle to much." With that he picks you up and starts beating his wings.

"Hawks?" You call slurred and quiet.

"Yeah, kid?" He glances down at you with a light smile.

"What's your real name?"

"Well why would I tell you that when you refuse to tell me yours so often?" He chuckled.

"(Y/n) (y/l/n)"

"W..what?"

"My name. It's (Y/n) (y/l/n)." You replied back.

You could see the confusion of your open demeanor. But there was something else in his eyes. Something you couldn't put your finger on.

"Soooooooo....." you trailed off with a smile.

"Keigo Takami." He chortled at your ridiculous smile.

"That's a lot prettier than I thought it would be." You stared into his face. How could anyone not find him attractive. The perfect mix of facial hair, jawline, that dumb grin that was insanely attractive, those eyes that were the perfect gold.

"You're gorgeous, Keigo." You whisper more to yourself than him.

"And you apparently drank a lot more than I suspected." He tried to brush off but you could feel a bit more heat from his face.

"Here it is." He lands gingerly and places you down on the ground, wrapping his arm under your shoulder and holding onto the small of your back. "Let's get you in bed."

"Have you eaten today?" He calls after setting you on the couch and going to the kitchen to get you some water. You shake your head and he looks a little concerned but doesn't push it. He hasn't either so late take out it is.

"What do you want?" He looks to you above the old paper menu he has saved from a place not to far from here. "Cuddles." You pout looking through your phone.

"I meant for dinner (y/n)." He laughs at you. "Oooh that makes sense." You laugh too, "anything with noodles and shrimp, I reaaaaally like shrimp." You smile at him wholesomely as he looks at you with the same missing thing as earlier in his eyes.

He orders for the both of you then takes you to the bathroom and sits you on the counter with your bag. "Makeup remover?" He asked placing your bag on your lap. You pull out some individual wipes as he gentle pulls them from your fingers and moves the bag to the side.

He softly wipes at your face as you close your eyes and focus on the feeling of his hands. After wiping the makeup off he wipes down your face with water to make sure there's no remover left either.

"Beautiful. Now do you want to go watch something while we wait for the food?"

His eyes gleamed at you and it filled you with that feeling of admiration. He was being so considerate and kind. Nothing like you imagined. You were safe. Safe here with him by your side.

You placed a kiss to his cheek.

"(Y/nn)," he closed his eyes softly taking in the tingle of where your lips pressed. "You're drunk off your ass, baby. Lets get you fed and in bed, dear." You nod tiredly as he pulls you down from the counter.

You sit back down on his couch as he answers the door and takes the food. "Someone order shrimp?"

"Oooo!" You clap your hands rapidly and look to him excitedly. He giggles at you and hands you the food.

You sit and eat together. Talking about whatever comes to mind first and building on from wherever it wandered.

"So, what's your family like?" He asked innocently enough. "Eh." You brushed off. A subject you never liked was family.

"I get that." He tried to laugh but it seemed forced. "I was born with two parents and couldn't get a single one to even care about me." You laughed to him.

"Do you talk to them?" He looks like he wants your answer. Like he cares about what you say.

"I try not to. I cut them off when I was a teen, everyone blamed it on me being a dumb rebellious kid. No one ever tried to see what happened in those walls." You trailed off.

"Were you hurt?" He tilts his head as concern covers his features. "That's an understatement." You force a smile back at him and take a bite.

"I...I think I kinda understand what you feel in a way." You meet his eyes as they lazily traveled to the floor. His thoughts stiring from behind his pupils.

"No parent buddies?" You put out your hand for a fist bump. He laughs and fist bumps you, "Yeah, no parent buddies."

You lean a bit closer to him. "I'm sorry you were hurt. They didn't deserve the control they had over you." You went a bit more serious as you draw your eyes up to him.

"Im sorry for you too." He breathed out to you. "Now let's get you in bed." A smile took over as he moved your empty food package onto the table and picked you up.

"PUT ME DOWN KEIGO!" You laugh and softly hit your hands against him. He laughs with you then throws you onto the bed.

"Why am I on the bed?" You frown. "Why wouldn't you be?" He looks as he places your water on the night stand next to you.

"It's your bed."

"And I get to choose who sleeps in it."

He places a feather-light kiss on your temples then goes to the door.

"Keigo-" he turns, "cuddle me?"

"I'll clean up and be back here soon okay?" He smiles at you. "Okay"

After twenty minutes of struggling to keep yourself up you feel a weight press into the mattress, keeping some distance.

You roll up next to him and wrap yourself around him.

"Sweet dreams Keigo."

"Goodnight, (y/n)."

And there he was when you woke up. Right beside you. After awhile you got used to seeing his face when you woke up. Always being able to see the look in his eyes you tried so hard to put your finger on. The lovestruck stupid he was for you.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

I think it's illegal not to request this: wildflower with the bodacious calum hood

Thanks for the suggestion! I hope my interpretation isn’t too left field. 18+ Content (Smut) Please do not read if you are under 18, thank you!

Please stay safe during these uncertain times. Drop a sweet message to your favorite blogger. Reblog your favorite fic. Recommend a fic to me if you want! We need to spread some joy. 

If you feel so incline, here’s my Ko-fi. But please, for right now, know that I just want to provide content to help you all through these times. 

Enjoy my masterlist!

__________________________

Favorite Fantasy 

Let me put on a fashion show for you. The text is accompanied by a picture of a couple bags sitting on the edge of their shared bed. 

Calum grins, fingers tapping at the keys. I’ll be home soon. One more meeting. 

There’s no immediate response and Calum doesn’t think too much about it. He knows now that she’s back home from her small shopping adventure, she might be relaxing, or playing with Duke. Though Calum didn’t normally work this late on the weekends, he had to be in the studio for the Skype meeting. They were meeting a couple people about merchandise. The timing didn’t work out too well during the rest of the week and on a Friday evening was the first time it wasn’t a mess trying to get everyone near a computer. 

Regardless, after settling in thanks to letting the buffering sit for a solid five minutes, they are able to begin their meeting. Ashton taking the piss looks to Calum. “I guess we gotta make a bucket hat too.”

“Damn straight,” he returns, readjusting the one on his head. “Leopard print.”

“And a fucking pink vinyl,” Ashton tacks on. 

“We don’t know. Pink’s a hard color to pull off. We might not have enough to put a lot in production.”

The warning falls on defiant ears and as Ashton presses on that they need at least a limited edition run of pink vinyls, Calum feels his phone vibrating. He lets it shake for just a moment before slowly pulling his phone out of his pocket. 

You can say I’m impatient. It’s a series of videos that follow it. He shouldn’t press on the first one. Not just because he’s in a meeting but because if it’s particularly lewd, he’s leaving immediately. Instead, though, this one is tame. She struts in the bedroom, far enough from the camera that Calum can see the purple polish on her toes as he takes in the pastel mint sundress. It’s cute and he grins, biting his lips as he brings his attention back to the screen. 

He thanks the heavens he’s angled off to the side. He nods along to Michael’s comment and then scrolls without looking to bring up the second video. She’s dressed head to thigh in checkerboard print crop top and shorts. The shorts are definitely short he notes as she twirls in front of the camera. At the end, she leans into the lens, tongue sticking out with a peace sign. Her go to pose for photos. 

Underneath that is a photo. White sunglasses rest on the end of her nose and she’s still in the shorts and crop top outfit from the second video. Her lips are painted red. She throws up a peace sign with one hip cocked. Her eyes look over the edge of the glasses into the mirror. Calum does not miss Duke wondering around her feet. 

Calum’s quick to turn his attention back up and the conversation has flowed nicely since his distraction. He gives himself a couple more minutes, even throws out a quick comment. “New ideas for merch? I’ve been burning a lot of candles lately. Think we can put together one of those?”

Everyone nods in agreement and the conversation dials towards what kind of scent they want. But they just spitball some ideas, getting everyone’s input. Calum throws out a couple scent profiles at the beginning and then turns back to his phone. A third and final video and picture duo follow. His eyes see the text beneath it but they don’t focus on it before he taps on the video. She’s in just a simple white skirt and a denim drop top. 

He sees the peak of her thigh in the slit. He wants to witness that skirt in person. And just as he goes to respond to her videos he notices her hand creeping down. She runs the tips of her fingers over the edge of the slit before pulling the fabric away from her body. His breathe catches as the sight of the emerald green panties. Those are new. Definitely new. 

With his veins thumping against his skin and a small prickling of heat rushing his body, he continues to watch, gripping the phone a little harder. She grins, bottom lip tucked between her teeth and lets the skirt fall back into place. As she approaches the phone, she unbuttons the front of the shirt. A lacy and unlined bra stare back at him. Her nipples are erect, dark but still noticeable in the design of he lace. 

The video ends and Calum exhales harshly, snapping his head up again. No one seems to be watching as he gives a quick glance around. His blood thumps in his ears. You’re going to get it, he responds without looking at the keys and praying autocorrect saves his life for once instead of ruining it. If you’re not still in that last outfit when i get home, there will be words. 

The phone shakes in his hand. Of course. 

Calum can’t ignore the immediate bulge forming in his pants and he can’t ignore how hard it’s getting for him to breathe. But he can tell the meeting’s winding down. The bounce in his leg let’s him know that he’s not going to make it too much longer if they don’t call it quits for the day. 

As they inch towards another ten minutes of everyone droning on, Calum swears he’s going to explode. He’s waiting, praying for someone to call it done and soon, Andy chips in. “I think we all have our work cut out for us. Chat again in two weeks?”

With a sigh of relief, Calum finds the door as quick as he can without coming off rude. In the car, he thinks about calling. But no, he wants her to sweat it out. Just like he did. That’ll serve her right. As he rolls down the highway, watching the beach pass by, he curls his fingers around the steering wheel. Fuck, he can’t wait to get home to her. He had no idea lingerie was on the shopping list but if he had, he would’ve found a way out of that meeting. 

Cracking open the door to the house, Calum looks to the couch. Only Duke is on the couch and he gives his little man a kiss on the head after shutting the door and locking it. “Tell me, where’s mama dukes?”

“Over here.”

Perfectly backlight by the glass doors of to the backyard, she sits at the dining room table. There’s just enough light from the lamps that Calum can tell she is wearing the same outfit from the video. The front is still undone. The top of her thigh is exposed as she sits crossed legs thanks to the slit. A glass bottle rests on the table next to her glass. He’s sure what was in it, watching her down the last drops of it. 

“It was one more meeting,” Calum reprimands. The closer he gets the more the resolve breaks. Her breasts rise and fall so gently as she breathes. 

“I was bored,” she returns simply. 

Dropping his keys into the small basket nailed into the wall, one that she insisted on having so they didn’t have to play where are my keys game in the morning, Calum leans into the wall to watch her. Her lips are still painted red. From when she left this morning. The first time she’s properly put on makeup in a few days. “You were looking to get fucked,” Calum quips. 

“And if I was? What about it?”

Calum pulls the hat off his head, running a quick hand over the not quite curls length. He gives it a gentle toss, sliding onto the table in front of her. He’s kidding himself if he tries to say that he doesn’t love this side of her. When she’s coy about what she wants but not too subtle about it. He loves it when she makes a little game out of it. 

She blinks up at him but doesn’t crack. Her face remains neutral, the natural pout on her full lips taking over. God, they feel so good against his skin, wrapped around him. “I would say you know exactly how to get what you want.”

“Doesn’t look like it to me.” She uncrosses her legs, letting them fall open just a little. No panties. Calum groans at the sight and he can’t help but cross the room to her. God, he really does love this. 

When his hands slide around her waist, he pulls up and situates her right on the edge of the dining room table. Their kiss is soft. Almost like forbidden lovers knowing they can only steal a moments peace. He trails his lips down her neck, following the collar bone to the strap of the bra. He then grazes his teeth down her chest and pulls one of the cups down with his teeth. 

“Careful,” she hums as his lips suck at the supple skin. His tongue twirls around the bud. 

“I can afford to ruin this,” he mumbles. But he keeps the warning in mind before kneeling in front of her. His tongue is quick to take a swipe at her core. She tastes heavenly on his tongue. He hikes the ankle length skirt up and she holds it open for him. 

Her fingers are digging into his hair, at the nape of his neck as he continues to lap at her. He hums when she gives it a particularly hard tug in response to him. And they feed each other. His fingers dig into the meat of her thighs and he loves how soft she is against his palm. 

If he could relive this moment, hearing her whine and pant above him, he would. It’s all he dreams about. It’s all he wants. He flicks his tongue over her clit and she knows she can’t hold out for much longer. He’s pressing all her buttons and her body is buzzing. 

Calum doesn’t let up either. Not even as her breathe catches and she shouts above him. His chin and lips are soaked with her release. But he can’t stop. Not with the way she overflows. He could cum just from this. She doesn’t even need to touch him hardly before his body is so lit with need. 

“Now you can’t tell me that I don’t eat enough at the table,” he grins, winking up at her. 

She laughs but motions for him to stand. “That’s not what I meant by that. But I’ll absolutely fucking take it.” As she speaks, her hands are already finding the button on his pants. 

“Huh, could’ve fooled me,” he grins, his cheeks puffing up with the action. The grin disappears when her palm wraps up his length. He drops his head into the crook of her neck. 

“Didn’t you mention something about me and this dining room table when we first bough it?” The purchase wasn’t even a week ago either. He nods, unable to speak as she squeezes him. It’s firm pressure but not too hard. Just enough to make his head spin. “Oh I’m going to need words from you, baby boy.”

“Fuck,” he sighs and sinks his teeth into a small chunk of her flesh. He digs his fingers into her waist. It takes a moment to find his resolve and pull away. “I did mention something about you and this dining room table.”

“Remind me again what it was.”

Calum doesn’t need another warning before he slides her off the table and flips her skirt up. He takes a handful of each cheek before swatting her left one. She falls into the table with a whine. His fingers fall to her core, feeling her drip onto him. “Seems like it was a fantasy of yours too,” he hums.

She laughs, cheek resting into the cool wood. “Maybe.” She wiggles her ass for him just a little. He paints her right cheek with a heft swat. 

“You’re going to be a masterpiece when I’m done.” 

-H

[sad-sweet-cowboah]

One Call Away

A commissioned piece for @mileycyprus-hill, she wanted Arthur to have a phone! 1,075 words!

Curled up on your couch and watching TV, you kept yourself distracted from wandering thoughts. For once, you had the day off whilst Arthur was out working.

You’d sent him on his way as usual; dropping him off at 7 am and bidding him a good day at work before promptly going home and crashing to your bed for a few more hours of sleep. With the house to yourself for the first time in a while, you weren’t exactly sure what to do.

Between catching up on shows and finishing daily chores, you still worried about Arthur. Sure, he’s proved he could be capable of being out on his own, at least for a good while. However that small flame of concern in the back of your mind flared. He’d adjusted to the modern era, though 21st century civilization was no match for the cowboy that still lingered. He still had his mannerisms, the gentlemanly charm that you loved. Of course, his temper was still questionable. You’ve seen him angry, you’ve seen him focused. You’ve seen him draw a six-shooter so damn quickly you’d have to blink to miss it.

Now, it was getting late. Arthur always returned home either before you or around the same time. Always made sure to greet you as you walked through the door. That would have been late afternoon.

The sky darkened to evening, the last rays of the sun swallowed up by the twilight expanse. He should have been home an hour or so ago.

Naturally, you wanted to know why. Your phone sat in your lap, though proved useless as he didn’t have a phone of his own. You sighed in frustration, leaning back against the couch. You knew he was capable of caring for himself, and it was silly to overly worry about him.

Five minutes passed, and you got to your feet. You made a beeline for your shoes when the door opened. Relief washed over you.

“Hey, darlin’,” Arthur greeted, pulling you into a smooth embrace. He smelled like hay. “Sorry I’m late.”

“I almost went looking for you,” you responded, noting the flecks of forage in his hair and on his clothes. “What took so long?”

He released you. “Ah, they got a shipment of hay later than normal. Had to unload it all.”

That explained it. “Well, at least you didn’t get into trouble.” You were only half joking.

“You know I’m careful, Y/N.” Arthur pointed out with a slight chuckle.

“I know, I know,” you sighed, reaching up to brush away the remnants of the hay. “But I still can’t help but to worry sometimes.”

He smiled and kissed you on the lips. “Don’t think I ever had someone be as concerned for my wellbeing as much as you. Not even Dutch or Hosea.”

“Well, they didn’t magically appear in my world, my house, over a hundred years in the future.” You reminded him, though not hiding the smile that crossed your lips.

He laughed again. “S’pose that’s fair. Least I’m home now.”

“Yes, now get cleaned up. I’ll get dinner started.” You shooed him toward the bathroom.

---

As you stood over a chicken and vegetable stir-fry on the stove, your mind began to wander again. Arthur was gracious about your concern over him, though you knew it would get annoying sooner or later. As much as you’d want to let him have his complete freedom, darker thoughts always clouded your mind. Having him here was like living with an undocumented immigrant; paperless and nonexistent in this world. You shudder to think of what would happen if by some strange event, he’d gotten into serious trouble.

You shook your head, as if trying to rattle those thoughts away. You were getting too far into this. It’s been months since his arrival and, aside from a few mishaps, nothing out of the ordinary or particularly reckless or dangerous has happened.

Regardless, you’d still want a connection to him.

Your phone vibrated against the counter, the screen lighting up with a notification. Hm…

“Smells good, sweetheart.” Arthur’s voice carried from the doorway. He shed his day clothes and now wore a t-shirt and sweatpants, though the thin cotton accented his muscles perfectly. His hair was damp from a shower, mostly combed back aside from a few loose locks. He’d shaved this morning, though the slight hint of stubble returned to his cheeks.

God, you would forget he was once a fictional outlaw. He was such a beautiful sight to see regardless of what he wore, and he was yours for the keeping.

Snapping yourself from your reverie, you cleared your throat. “Hey, Arthur. How do you feel about having a phone?”

“A phone?” he repeated, shifting himself to stand up straight. “Like that smartphone you got?”

“Yes.”

A faint curiosity crossed his expression, followed by hesitation. “I dunno, I ain’t smart enough for one of them.”

He’s tried playing with your phone before, early on in his days as he still tried to figure out modern technology. Selfie mode scared him, the bright and colorful apps confused him, and he tapped so hard on your screen that he almost broke it before he gave up in frustration.

“They’re not so hard to figure out, I promise,” you said with a smile. “Now that you’re more accustomed to everything, it will be easier. Plus, we’ll be able to communicate a lot better.”

You watched his face change, taking your words into consideration. After a moment, he shrugged. “Alright, I’ll get a phone.”

---

That following weekend, you’d taken Arthur to a superstore to purchase a decent phone. Within a half a day he’d figured it out, despite his comments about how this little piece of technology could outsmart him. Texting took a bit to master as he had to adjust to using his thumbs. Clumsy typos and his muttered cursing amused you, though the smile on his face when he finally was able to nimbly type something without butchering the spelling or having autocorrect guess it was radiating.

On Monday, you’d dropped him off at the stable and arrived at your job shortly after. With a phone of his own now, your anxiety had decreased greatly. Around lunch time you sent him a text; something simple, a little love note and to wish him a good rest of his day.

Thank you sweetheart. Love you too. See you when you get home.

[etraytin]

Quarantine, Day 58

A comedy in one act: 

Dramatis Personae:  Me, a gentlewoman and a scholar, a loving mother and wife, a voyager exploring this island earth Ring Phone App, a phone app

Act One: (ME walks through the front door, destination, anywhere) SFX: LOUD BUZZING NOISE from phone (ME pauses in the doorway, looks at phone)  Ring Phone App: There is motion at your front door!  ME: ... (ME refrains from throwing phone over the horizon) (Repeat ad infinitum) 

So I helped my mother in law configure her new doorbell camera the other day, that's fun, right? It is kind of entertaining that I can be sitting in the bathtub or in an entirely different town and watch the kiddo going in and out the door on his many adventures, but every time I go out the door it alerts, and every damn time I think it's a text message and stop. It's downright Pavlovian.

I went out only one time today, to pick up the groceries at Harris Teeter. MIL placed a grocery order from them several days ago but unfortunately checked out prematurely, and unlike the Walmart app, the HT app does not appear to let you edit your placed order. If they do, it is not at all clear how and the FAQ is unresponsive. I tried to call their support line, but was informed I'd be on hold for 25 minutes, so we just got most of our groceries at Publix instead. I am not sure why the more expensive a store is, the shittier their pickup service seems to be. Walmart is always super-busy, but they've got that shit down to a science. I have ordered 300 dollars of groceries from them for pickup during this pandemic and bam, in and out. They open your trunk, put in the stuff, give you your eggs and bread for the front seat, and you go. Kroger is okay, they have pull-through lanes and you can't check in from the app, but it's all right. Their biggest problem is that they don't indicate what items are out of stock on their app, so about half my fairly short list was unavailable, with no substitutions available. Kind of a bummer. 

Harris Teeter, on the other hand, is its own thing. They don't have parking spots, they have a lane in front of the store so you can wait in line for however long, then get up to a little speaker and press a button so they know you are there and you can contaminate your fingers all at once. Then you pull forward an awkward amount, because it seems weird to just sit at the button when cars are behind you, but you can't pull forward enough without being back in traffic, and you get out of your car and open your own trunk. Harris Teeter apparently believes their intercom button is not germy, but the gate latch for my minivan is basically the Blarney Stone on St. Patrick's Day. Then you get back in your car, then the person comes out to tell you what they did not on the intercom, which is that your order is not ready and come back in 15 minutes. Then you get back out of your car and close your gate and go and park for fifteen minutes. (You may already be in a chancy mood after spending the entire trip to the store on the phone trying to explain why Plandemic is a bullshit piece of bullshit that really deserves to be deplatformed and that YouTube is not a government entity so making a first amendment argument is specious, but this is optional.) After fifteen minutes, you go back and wait in the line again, open your gate again, get your groceries, close your gate, get back in your car, sanitize, and try to back out of the line around the person in front of you who is still waiting in that awkward post-button place in line. I was very nice to the workers, though, because it is not their fault that pickup at their store is extremely stupid or that their groceries are stupidly expensive. Anyway, the Amazon guy showed up while I was away and I knew because the doorbell told me. 

Sauerkraut and sausage for supper again tonight, twice within a month! I'm so very pleased. I even did up real mashed potatoes this time, which really are so much better than the flakes even if they are a lot of work. I don't care what we cook for any meal tomorrow because I have a whole box of leftovers in the fridge. While I was cooking, the rest of the household watched Sully, chosen from my MIL's DVD collection as being one the kiddo has not seen and that is not likely to give him lasting mental scars from historical evidence of the harm man can do to man. Lots of historical documentaries in the collection here. I did not watch because I am already scared enough of airplanes, thank you. Kiddo is up to 600 words in his fanfic as of today, is making more effective use of autocorrect, and is accepting constructive criticism on his tendency to shift tenses within the same paragraph and sometimes the same sentence. We're making progress! Also Pikachu appears to have framed Bendy for unspecified heinous actions; what a twist!

Not too much new information on the whole father-in-law thing, except that the visit today was very good and the evening phone conversation was better than yesterday. Those are both encouraging signs, as it would really suck even more if he were freaking out these whole two weeks in the rehab center. Kiddo has learned several origami forms now and made him a waterbomb with a peppermint candy tucked inside as a present. Today we worked on cranes, which I have not made for a long time. We're both getting better at them. There's some traditional folklore that says if you fold a thousand origami cranes, you earn a wish. If I could fold that many cranes, of course my wish would be for this virus to just disappear. It wouldn't end our problems, it wouldn't even end most of them, but it would make these choices much less agonizing. Plus my sister and her family are in town this weekend and we can't even visit them and it sucks so much. We're going to be in the same town on Mothers Day with our kids for the first time ever and we can't even get together for lunch or something. Ugh. But we have to be careful. 

[lovemesomesurveys]

What would you call your body type? Stick thin? *shrug*

Are you a morning person? Nooo, I sleep in late. I’m still crabby regardless of when I get up; though, and still feel tired and unrested and in serious need of coffee.

Have you ever been to Target? Countless times. I love Target.

Do you like iced tea? Sure. I couldn’t tell you the last time I had any, though.

When is the next time you’ll be at work? I don’t have a job.

Do you have a savings account? No.

Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? Yes.

What color bedsheets are currently on your bed? They’re like an off white color.

Have you ever been to Disney World? If so, how many times have you been? Nope. I’ve been to Disneyland several times, though.

Does grammar and capitalization mean anything to you? It absolutely does.

Are you good at wrapping gifts for others? I’m not the best wrapper ever, but I do enjoy doing it.

Do you have a dirty clothes hamper in your room? Yes.

What would you say is your favorite television show? I have several.

Do you enjoy big holiday dinners? My family’s big holiday dinners got a lot smaller over the years, sadly. Now it’s just my parents, brother, and I. I love that, too, but I miss when more of my family was able to get together. Is your vision good? With my glasses on, yeah. ha.

Is there any piece of jewelry you’re constantly wearing? Nope.

What is one thing you desire as of now? To be able to fast forward through summer and also get back to some normalcy. I know things will be different now, but it’d be nice to get to a place where we didn’t have the fear of catching a highly contagious virus looming over our heads. Will it ever get to that point?

What kind of phone do you have? An iPhone XR.

If you could move anywhere, where would you choose? Somewhere with cooler weather year round. A place where you experience actual autumns and winters and not long, miserable summers.

Do you blog a lot, if at all? This is my blog.

Is your present hair color, natural? No.

What makes you the most angry when it comes to people? There’s a few things that come to mind, but I don’t want to get into that.  

Describe your current outfit? Black leggings and a black shirt. My usual attire. 

What was the last thing you ordered online? A couple of shirts for my mom and I. I want to order some of Bath & Body Works’ beachy scented hand soaps and body sprays as well. At least I can smell like the beach since I can’t go to one. :(

Have you ever felt as though you were drifting apart from a best friend? Yeah, and I did.

What color are your eyes? Brown.

Have you ever worn color contacts? Nope. I haven’t worn any contacts, just the idea of putting them in my eye and taking them out freaks me out.

What’s the best thing about a hug? They can be nice and comforting. They can also be awkward. It just depends. 

Biggest fear? Losing my loved ones, death, never getting better/getting worse, never doing anything with my life....

If you have a significant other, how long have you been together? I’m single.

Do you know any genuinely friendly people? Yes.

Do you buy your friends gifts? I bought them birthday and Christmas gifts. What was the last thing you plugged in? My phone to the charger.

How old are you? 30.

What color headphones do you own? They’re black.

Have you ever shopped on Urban Outfitters? Yeah, just a couple of times. They’re way overpriced.

Where do you buy the majority of your clothing? BoxLunch, Hot Topic, and Kohl’s. 

Would you rather wear necklaces or earrings? Earrings.

Do you consider yourself fortunate? I am in some ways.

Do you enjoy watching fights? Nooo.

Have you ever been in a physical fight? No.

Do you tend to talk badly about people? If I do it’s usually about people that have done stupid or ridiculous things that I hear or read about in the news. 

Where are your parents as of now? They’re in bed asleep.

Does your computer cooperate most of the time? Yeah, I haven’t had any problems. It’s only about 3 years old.

Does your family have any cheesy traditions? Sure, but I love ‘em.

When did you last go to a book store? Sometime last year.

What’s the closest book store where you live? Barnes & Noble. How much money do you have on you right now? None.

Favorite personal feature? I like my hair sometimes like after it’s been recently colored and styled. 

Are you wearing make up at the moment? Nope.

Favorite television channel? MTV, E!, The Hallmark Channel, ID.

Describe any piercings or tattoos you might have? I just have my earlobes pierced. No tattoos. 

Have you ever been fired from a job? I’ve never had a job.

Are you currently losing a best friend? No.

Describe the worst day of your life: Let’s not.

Do you play any video games? Yeah. Currently, I’ve been super into Animal Crossing: New Horizons.

Would you say you hate anyone? Apart from myself, no.

Do you think freckles are cute? Sure.

Last time you went to the mall? Back in early February. 

Name something that’s your favorite color: One of my favorite colors is rose gold and I have a really soft throw blanket that I love in that color.

Have you been to Red Lobster before? Yeah, several times. Haven’t been there in years, though. I’m not a seafood fan at all, but they had a delicious creamy cajun pasta. 

Do you judge by appearances? >> Judge what, exactly? There is some information I process through appearance, yeah – like, I assume that a person wearing a Behemoth t-shirt and black jeans with a chain wallet is probably a metalhead. Or that a person with impeccable hair and nails and makeup is probably really fussy about their appearance. The thing is, these are still things that I could possibly be wrong about, but it’d be harmless. <<< 

Do you follow a certain religion? Yes, Christianity. 

Who is your role model, if you had to choose? My mom.

Would you rather have nice hair or lips? Hair.

What are you most self conscious about? A lot of things.

Do you have any family members who live out of town? Yeah.

Do you consider yourself short? Yes.

What room are you in? Mine.

Hoodies or jackets? Hoodies.

Are you outside a lot? Ha, no. I’ve been a hermit crab years before the quarantine/lockdown this year, but that definitely has made it worse.

Have you ever been dumped via text message? Yes.

Do you like dreamcatchers? They’re pretty to look at, but I don’t believe they do anything. 

What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? I don’t have one.

Do you hate repetitive people and things? >> Er… like, not as a rule, I guess. But there are some repetitive things I hate, like certain sounds. <<< Yeah, same. And my life is also very repetitive.

Do you think autocorrect is a blessing or curse? It can helpful and annoying at times.

Do you believe in any particular curses? No.

Ever play a Ouija board? No. I don’t mess with stuff like that.

What movie scares you the most? There really isn’t one anymore. I love horror films. Some do still creep me out, but there isn’t one that has messed me up or anything. There’s no lasting effect after I watch them.

What was your bedtime as a child? Probably like 8 and then probably 9 and 10 as I got older. 

Reason why your favorite holiday is your favorite: I just love Christmastime.

Do you work with any close friends? I don’t have a job.

Do you consider yourself spoiled? You could say that. I hate that word, though. I feel it has such a negative connotation to it, like a spoiled brat. I was never Veruca Salt or something. My parents didn’t give me whatever wanted, but they always made sure I had what I needed and went above and beyond when they could. My brother and I were good kids and they rewarded us with nice things. I’m very fortunate that they still provide for me and I’m very, very appreciative.

Do you listen to any country music? Yeah.

Favorite high school teacher: My sophomore history teacher was really cool. He reminded me of Rob Dyrdek a lot looks and personality wise. I also remember that he was a huge fan of RHCP and had them playing everyday before class. 

Do you ever get drunk? Not anymore, but I have many times back when I used to drink.

Have you ever had highlights before? I had them for several years.

Favorite number: 8.

Do you still sleep with any stuffed animals? I have 4 that sit on my bed. What is your biggest regret in life? I don’t want to get into that stuff.

Would you say you think you have a mental disorder of some kind? I do have a some mental disorders.

Are you normally an independent person? I used to be more independent than I have been these past few years. I’ve been very dependent these past few years. 

Do you have any paintings? I do.

What is one clothing fad you wish never existed? I don’t care. 

Do you like to be organized? Yes and I used to be pretty organized, but that’s changed these past few years as well. 

Have you ever failed a class before? I had to retake a math course one in community college. Funny how I took it with a different professor and actually did really well.

Ever been judged because of your weight? I’m underweight and people have their own assumptions about it. What is your favorite breakfast cereal? The sugary bad ones, ha.

Ever had a wish come true? I don’t believe in wishes.

Do you regret meeting any of your exes? No. 

Do you own any coloring books? Yes. Adult coloring books became a big thing a few years ago and I got really into it. 

What’s the meanest thing someone’s called you? I’ve said the meanest, cruelest things to myself.

Have you ever bullied someone? No.

Do you ever watch Lifetime? Growing up my mom and I used to love watching Lifetime movies. We’d binge watch ‘em every weekend. Now we’ll catch a movie every once in awhile and kind of get hooked again, but not very often.

Ever tried to intentionally sabotage someone’s grade? Wow, no.

Do you own any brown clothing? I have a brown pair of leggings.

What color are your walls painted? White.

Last thing you drank: Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink.

Have you ever seen a tornado in person? Noooo.

Do you have an inground pool at your house? No.

What is the first digit of your phone number? What’s the prettiest town you’ve been to? There’s been a few.

Do you tend to sleep a lot? When I do sleep, yes. I have a messed up sleep schedule and it’s hard for me to fall asleep, but when I do I’ve been sleeping a lot. I’d nap a lot everyday, too, if I allowed myself to, but for some reason I rarely do.

Silver or gold jewelry? I like both.

Do you sometimes celebrate holidays early? Well, for Christmas we’ve done something the day or so before with family. 

Have you ever been in love? Yes. 

What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? Everything my family has given and done for me.

When was the last time you showered? A couple days ago.

Would you consider yourself attractive? No.

Has anyone made you mad today? Not as of now.

Favorite smell: Sigh, I’ve listed this too many times.

Are you afraid of insects? YES. ALL of them.

Do you have any children? Nooo.

If so, what are their names?

Would ever consider having children in the future? I don’t want to have children.

Have you ever lived on a farm? No.

Ever played any sports? No.

Do both of your parents have jobs? Yes.

Where is the best place you’ve been on vacation to? I love all the vacations I’ve been on.

Are you afraid people won’t accept you? That’s not something I’m concerned about right now. Haven’t been the last few years. And that’s not at all because I’m confident or something... very much the opposite. 

Are you, for the most part, an honest person? Yes.

Did you make prank phone calls as a child? My friends and I did that sometimes in middle school. :X So dumb.

Do you like to make donations? Yeah.

What is your current ringtone? One of the ones that came with the phone.

Meet anyone from your past lately? No.

Have you ever called a teen suicide line? No.

Have you ever caught something on fire? Yes. Food in the microwave and in the oven. Also the tips of my hair once when blowing out birthday candles... 

Ever been obsessed with a show? Yeah. That’s what tends to happen when I’m into a show.

What type of perfume or cologne do you use? A body spray from Bath & Body Works called Into the Night. I want to get some of their beachy scents now.

What’s the last book you read? I’m currently reading, The Girl and the Hunt by AJ Rivers.

Dream career: I have no idea.

Have you ever climbed a mountain before? No.

At what age do you plan to get married? I don’t.

Ever been in a car accident? No.

[xtrashmammalstefx]

My Joy Was Complete (Joe Mazzello x Reader x Gwilym Lee)

WARNINGS: Smut, mild cursing, and a dash of feels

You know when you meet someone so far beyond your expectations that you don’t even stop and think that they would ever look your way? That’s sort of what it felt like when I met Gwilym. I swear if ever there was a man too good to be human it was him. Not only because he was impossibly beautiful but because on the inside where it counts he was absolutely stunning. Sweet, kind, and just everything I’ve always been told to look for in a man.

Problem was that while he was extraordinary in every sense of the word I was not. I was plain from head to toe with [Y/ H/ C] and [Y/E/C]. My skin was [Y/S/C] and held a lot of excesses (or so I believed) in the hip, butt, and breasticles area. I hardly ever wore revealing clothes thanks to mother nature marking up my skin with cellulite and whatnot. When not working as a production assistant, I am at home either reading, eating, scrolling through Tumblr, or watching an endless amount of TV and movies. In other words, I’m what most people would describe as boring.

So I didn’t think Gwil would ever waste his time on someone like me. And yet he did… 

I met him on the set of Bohemian Rhapsody where I helped with whatever needed my assistance. I tried to stay out of the actors’ way since they were busy and their roles were anything but small. I was already a fan of Rami, Joe, and Ben (having watched Night at the Museum, Jurassic Park, and X-Men Apocalypse over a million times as well as The Social Network and Mr. Robot). I hadn’t really heard of Gwil though and had planned on googling him later on (purely out of curiosity and not fangirl related reasons). I was helping set up the amps for the Live Aid scene when I heard the most gentle voice.

“Hello there,” I looked over and found Gwilym in full costume smiling at me. 

“Oh, uh, don’t mind me. I’m just helping set things up here for you and the, um, others,” I said nervously.

“Relax love none of us bite,” he said.

“Hard,” Ben said walking by on his way to the drums.

“He’s really taking his role to heart isn’t he?” I laughed. 

“I’d say so yeah but then again we all are,” Gwil said chuckling with me and my god was his laugh so sweet it wasn’t fair. I actually mentally shouted: I GIVE UP! THIS MAN IS PERFECT! “I’m Gwilym Lee by the way.”

“Y/N,” I said. 

“So is this your first movie Y/N?” he asked.

“Mmm no,” I said. “I worked on The Social Network, and uh…”

“Thought I knew you from somewhere,” Joe said passing by to collect his bass. “Nice to see you again Jelly Bean!”

“You too Beer Belly,” I said quickly patting his belly which was actually a little flatter since we last met. He let out an almost Pillsbury DoughBoy type of giggle. “Still ticklish I see.”

“Shuddup,” he muttered. 

“Jelly Bean?” Gwil questioned.

“We worked long hours even on that set. Sometimes I would get severe hunger pains so I always kept a bag of jelly beans on hand to replenish myself. Joe kept stealing them of course which is why he gave me the nickname Jelly Bean,” I explained. “And I really need to learn to shut up. Um, I’ll just…”

“No no, it’s fine. I like hearing you talk,” he said. “You have such a lovely voice… and that sounded far more creepy than I thought it would. I am so sorry.”

“No harm no foul,” I said. 

He continued to talk to me while I worked and then when filming commenced I watched in awe from the side stage as he and the others gave the most iconic concert a new life. Of course, now that Joe remembered who I was he insisted on having me around at all times which was fine by everyone else, especially Gwil.

After filming wrapped up and we all went our separate ways we swore we’d always be in each other's lives and promised to always keep in contact. Which we did. About a month or so after filming wrapped my apartment was flooded and I wound up moving in with Joe who was in dire need of a friend himself (his father had just passed after a long battle with cancer). That first night I unpacked my stuff in the guestroom and spent the rest of the day and the night holding Joe as he wept. 

“It’s okay Joey,” I cooed him. “Just let it out, honey.” 

Joe didn’t really talk to anyone for a while and because I was concerned for him neither did I. One night as I passed his room to get a drink of water from the kitchen, I heard him moan and whimper. I peeked my head in and saw him writhing as a nightmare held him captive in his own head. I sighed and walked over to his bed. “Joe,” I shook him. “Joe, wake up it’s only a dream. JOE!”

His eyes flew open and he gasped. He sat up trying to catch his breath. Suddenly his whole body began to shake. “Joey,” I muttered enveloping him in my arms. 

He cried into my shoulder. Sobbing until there was nothing left. I held him there for a while until I felt his head start to shift and his lips touch the skin of my neck. “What are you..?”

He didn’t answer just peppered me in kisses in a trail leading up to my lips. I would’ve stopped him… I should have stopped him but… the moment his lips touched mine everything seemed to go away. And I melted into him. 

After a while, we were lying on his bed, our clothes everywhere but on our bodies. He kissed my breasts flicking my nipple with his tongue. I moaned feeling as though I could live in that moment forever. A few more intimate kisses later his tip ghosted my entrance. 

“I’ve been waiting for you my whole life,” Joe muttered. I didn’t know what to say that. All I knew was that my body ached for him at that moment.

“Me too,” I said brushing his cheek with my hand. 

He sighed. “I love you.”

“I-” I started feeling him push his tip in. “I love you too.”

He pushed the rest of his length in stretching me and making me gasp. He cursed under his breath and started to thrust. The feeling of him moving inside me was indescribable. My nails practically dug themselves into his back as he moved and after a while, they began to explore him. My left hand found its way to his ass and gave it a nice firm squeeze making him groan.

I don’t know how long we lasted only that it felt like a lifetime. Eventually, the tension building up in my lower belly became too much. My back arched, my toes curled, and I felt myself tighten around his length. A loud moan escaped my mouth as I came all over his length. I held onto him still, body trembling, as he continued to thrust into me. His movements were now sloppy and suddenly he was twitching inside me. He moaned and cursed as he filled me with his seed. He then collapsed on me, body quivering. He kissed my swollen lips once more before pulling himself out and taking the empty space beside me.

I woke up the next morning sore but in bliss. A part of me wanted to stay in that bed forever but then…

Zzz zzz… 

My phone buzzed from where I’d left it on the nightstand (I was going to do some late night creeping on Tumblr while I drank my water last night) and the screen flashed revealing a text… from Gwil.

“How are things, love?”

Shit. 

I groaned and quickly texted back. “Just woke up. Give me a few to get my brian working.”

“Your brian?”

“FUCK I MEANT BRAIN! STUPID AUTOCORRECT!”

“Lol.”

I sighed and put my phone back on the nightstand. Just then I felt the bed shift and an arm draped itself over me. 

“Morning baby,” Joe muttered.

“Morning,” I muttered. He pecked me on the lips. 

“I’d say we have a little morning sex but I am completely raw down there so…”

“And I’m completely sore down there so…” We laughed at our misery. 

Joe sighed. “That was one of the best nights of my life.”

“Me too,” I said. “I’m pretty sure you just put all of my ex’s to shame.”

He laughed. “You know what? I’m making you breakfast in bed!”

My eyes grew wide with terror. Rule number one when living with Joe Mazzello: Don’t trust him with the fucking stove!

“JOE NO!” I said running after him quickly shrugging on my shirt and shorts from the night before.

Things were different after that. Joe and I went out on dates, had even more sex in various places around the house, and were just happy to be with one another. Still, there was a nagging feeling deep inside me that wondered if I had done the right thing. After all, I still had feelings for someone else. 

Gwil and I continued to chat and admittedly it changed quite a bit when Joe and I announced our relationship to the world. Never has my phone blown up with so many ‘What the fuck?’ texts before. Most of the texts from our friends said the same thing. ‘I thought maybe you and Gwil might get together.’ Which didn’t help the nagging feeling feel any better.

Premiere weekend finally arrived a little over a year later and that’s when things got complicated. Gwil and Ben flew in for the big night and had planned to stay for a few days so we could all hang out as a group for old times sake.

Gwil and I were completely awkward around each other but we did our best to conceal it. After the premiere, we all gathered at the hotel Ben and Gwil were staying at for drinks.

I remember Gwil sat as far away from me as possible the whole time we were there and hardly spoke to me. It hurt but I understood. Again the nagging feeling pounded in my head. 

I thought a lot about him throughout his stay, and he continued to pull further and further away from me. It hurt me. 

So on the morning of his second to last day in the states, I texted him. 

“We need to talk.”

“Ben’s out sightseeing all day with Joe if you wanna come by.” He texted back.

No sooner had Joe gone for his date with Ben that I left our apartment and started for the hotel. At his room, I only had to knock twice before he answered. “I get why you’ve been avoiding me,” I said.

“Um come in,” he stepped aside.

I did and collapsed on the sofa. “I am such a massive bitch. I can’t believe I would actually treat you so horribly.”

“Love, don’t do that to yourself,” he said sitting beside me. “If anyone’s at fault here it’s me.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I should have made my move before it was too late,” he said. “I should have made my move but I didn’t… because honestly, I was scared.”

“YOU were scared? I’m the one that was suddenly getting attention from this inhumanly handsome guy who could do so much better than me,” I said. 

“I can’t,” he muttered looking away. 

The nagging feeling came back stronger and it was telling me I needed to be closer. So I slid over until I was snuggled up against him. “What are we gonna do?” I whispered.

“I dunno,” he said.

I sighed and breathed in the scent of his cologne. It was every bit as perfect as he was. Before I could even think of stopping myself I was peppering his neck with kisses. 

“Love… don’t… I⸺.” But I continued to kiss and suck just below where his beard started. He let out a deep moan. It made me want more. So I placed my hand on his cheek and brought his mouth down to mine.

His hand rested on my hip as he kissed me with a passion I never knew before. I ran my fingers through his hair deepening it until he let out a subtle growl. “You drive me mad, woman.”

He then picked me up and carried me to the bedroom of the suite. We wasted no time in getting rid of our clothes. I noticed differences in his body compared to Joe’s soft form; right down to his length which like the rest of him was thick and long… definitely had two inches or so on Joe. After eyeing him a while I looked up and found he’d been doing the same. He then got on top of me, line himself up, and smiled that damn smile that would weaken even the sanest of people. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he said before pushing in.

From then on there was no stopping us. Gwil thrust and kissed me every chance he had. Being the ever generous lad he at one point sat up so I could ride him and just take charge for a moment. As I did he moaned and held me tight kissing my breasts. 

“Mmm Gwil,” I moaned. “Gwil I’m⸺ HNNG!”

“Hold on love,” he said before lying us back down. He thrust even harder then hitting me right on my sweet spot.

“FUCK!” I blurted. “I-I think I’m gonna⸺!”

I screamed, my toes curled, and I clung to Gwil as if my life depended on it. I tightened around him, covering him in juices. His thrusts slowed down then and grew sloppy. Then with a groan and a curse he twitched inside me.

Breathless he pulled himself out once there was nothing left but stayed on top of me. “I love you Y/N… so much.”

“I love you too,” I said, feeling the tears come.

After a good cry of frustration, we wound up having another round before I made my way back home with my head hung in shame.

Joe wasn’t home yet so I took a shower and started on dinner. Gwil texted me while I was cooking just as Joe entered the front door.

“I miss you already.” He texted.

“BABE YOU HOME?!” Joe shouted.

“In the kitchen!” I shouted back while texting back a quick ‘Me too’ to Gwil.

“Who are you talking to?” Joe asked as he approached for a kiss. 

“Gwil just texted me to remind me that I promised to bring a bowl of my famous guac tomorrow.” I lied.

“Ooh you mean the Seximole?” he said growing very excited. It was named that by moi because everyone who tried it wound up having a loud foodgasm. 

“As if there’s any other,” I said.

“Mmm I wanna come just thinking about it,” Joe moaned.

“Ugh!” I gasped. “Are you using me for my guac Joseph?”

“Maybe,” he smirked. “It is basically sex for the mouth.”

“Amazing my lover would rather fuck my guac than me,” I scoffed at him.

“Can you blame me?” he laughed. He then leaned in and kissed my neck. “Don’t worry, I still love you more.”

“Love you too,” I said. “Now go shower. You smell like ass and day-old cologne.”

He did and I got back to dinner and Gwil.

Gwil left a couple days later and we agreed that with time we could figure us out. I hated it and I could see he did too but it was the only plan we had so far.

A couple months later during Oscar weekend, I woke up feeling pretty shit. I threw up my entire dinner and scared the shit out of Joe. I brushed off as being pre-Oscar jitters. 

“Babe the jitters don’t make you throw up,” he said worried out of his mind but I assured him with some Pepto I would be fine. 

Gwil and Ben had flown in for the big show and Gwil was quick to notice my sickly complexion. “You feeling alright love?” he asked once we were in the shared limo. 

“Yeah just, um, having a bad case of the jitters,” I said feeling Joe’s eyes on me silently calling bullshit.

The show wound up going amazingly. We didn’t win the big one but we won plenty and Rami got the recognition he so rightfully earned. I’m pretty sure even Freddie would’ve been proud of how the night went.

Again Gwil and Ben stayed a few days to hang. My sickness never really went away though. Even Lucy was worried now but for a whole different reason… 

“Y/N when did you last have your monthly?” she asked once she and I were alone.

“Why?” She looked at me with her ‘really’ face. “Oh…”

She collected her purse and took me by the hand. “We’re going out for a bit don’t wait up,” she told the guys.

We went to the nearest drug store where I got a pregnancy test. Obviously taking it at home was a no go so Lucy and I locked ourselves in the store bathroom. She turned around while I did my thing and did her best to comfort me as we waited.

Sure enough, when I picked up the test a few minutes later staring back at me was a pink plus sign. “Oh, God…” I broke down crying.

“Y/N what’s wrong? Isn’t this a good thing?” she asked. I nodded. “Then why are you crying like it’s the worst thing in the world?”

I then told her everything the best I could. Gwilym, the hotel, and everything. “I don’t know what to do Lucy. It could be either of theirs.”

She sighed. 

“Well you should at least tell Joe first,” she said. “Then figure it out from there.”

I shoved my test in my pocket. Wiped away my tears and stood up. Back home I made a beeline for our bedroom needing to be away from everyone for a bit while I figured things out.

After a while, there was a knock on the door. “Babe?”

“Yeah,” I said.

“Can I come in?” Joe asked.

I sighed. “It’s your room too babe.”

He opened the door and walked over to the bed laying down beside me. “You gonna tell me what’s up or are you gonna keep me in suspense? ‘Cause, to be honest, I’m going slightly mad over here.”

“Letting the mystery percolate does sound tempting,” I teased.

“Babe,” he groaned.

“Fine fine,” I laughed. “How do you feel about kids?”

“I love them and I can’t wait to have them. Why?”

I took a deep breath and took his hand placing it on my stomach. “Because there’s a little Mazzello in here and I don’t want to do this alone.”

“What?!” Joe jumped up. “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! BABE!”

He tackled me and smothered me in kisses.

“Joe you’re crushing your child,” I laughed.

“Oops sorry!” he said jumping out of the bed. “Come on we gotta tell everybody!”

“Wait everyone’s still here?”

“Duh! You scared the shit out of them you dork!” he said taking off towards the living room. I barely set a toe into the room when he shouted. “GUYS I’M GONNA BE A DADDY!”

Everyone cheered and congratulated us except for Gwil who looked at me with an arched eyebrow. I gave a subtle nod that screamed: Yeah it might be yours. 

“I’m getting a coke,” I said. “Anyone want anything?”

Ben requested a beer, Lucy being the best girlfriend ever requested water (so as to not tempt the mama to be), and Rami and Joe said they were fine. I was in the kitchen for only a second before Gwil entered. 

“So there’s a baby,” he said. I nodded. “And it might be mine?”

I nodded again. “We won’t know for certain until the birth… I guess.”

“So that’s the plan then? Just wait?”

“What else can I do? I can’t very well do the tests without Joe finding out and lord knows he is going to be at every appointment until the big day.”

“But it could be the start of our family I can’t just do nothing,” he said.

“I know,”  I muttered.

Rami walked in then immediately killing the conversation. 

In truth, I honestly had no idea what I would do. I stuck with Joe who was more than excited about being a dad. He even asked me to marry him during my eighth month of pregnancy. I said yes but I still had days when I missed Gwil. Finally, after nine long months, my water broke.

Joe and I were in the hospital for hours. The others were busy with other projects so they couldn’t be there. It was probably for the best though. Eventually, the time came for me to push. I heaved and heaved. Suddenly my cries were replaced with that of my baby. “It’s a boy!” The doctor declared.

He placed the baby on top of me so that I could greet him with a hug and a kiss on his little head. I did just that and immediately felt exhaustion take over. “Y/N? Y/N!”

I heard Joe shout before everything went black.

I woke up sometime later but nobody realized it right away. “How long has she been..?” 

Gwil asked unable to finish. What in the hell is he doing here? I wondered. 

“Just a few hours and two days,” Joe sighed. “She was out before the other baby came.”

“Other baby?”

“Fraternal twins,” Joe said. “Another boy. We were, uh, going to surprise everybody.”

Gwil sat down beside me and I felt him slip his hand in mine.

“I don’t blame you,” Joe said. “For loving her, and… for doing what you did.”

“W-What do you mean?” Gwil asked.

“Ben forgot his wallet that day during your visit for the premier. I heard her voice coming from your room. Didn’t think anything of it until the voice turned into… other noises.”

“Mate I am so sorry,” Gwil cut him off. “I swear neither of us meant to hurt you. Hell, she loves you too much to ever… but…” Gwil sighed.

“But you love her,” Joe finished. “I get it.”

I then heard footsteps go across the room and a shuffling noise. 

“Here,” Joe took more steps. “I thought it was only right that you met him.”

“Why?” Gwil asked.

“Because he’s yours,” Joe said. “I asked around while she’s been out and it’s rare but it happens.”

Gwil’s hand left mine and there was more shuffling. He sighed. “He looks like I did in my baby pictures.”

“He’s beautiful,” Joe said.

I then heard as Gwil placed a small kiss on the baby’s head. “So what now?”

“Well, we’d already agreed that Rami would be Joey’s godfather. I figured it would be only appropriate if you be his,” Joe said. “She named him Brian by the way. Brian Gwilym Mazzello.”

“Mate… you are being too kind,” Gwil said.

“Nonsense,” Joe said. “It was the least I could do. Besides I know deep down it’s what she would want.”

“It is,” I muttered. 

Joe darted to me, tears streaming down his face. “Hey,” he whispered kissing me. “Oh thank God I thought I lost you.”

I sighed. “That’ll never happen and you know it.”

I then looked over at Gwil holding our baby. “Hey.”

“Hello love,” he said bringing the baby to me. “I believe you have yet to meet him.”

I took the baby into my arms. “Hi Bri,” I whispered. “Where’s Joey?”

“Oh uh,” Joe went and got the other baby. He placed him beside his brother on my lap. 

And for the first time in months, everything felt right. 

“I love you both so much,” I whispered before looking up. “I love all of you.”

And I always would. 

For at that moment my joy was complete.

[neshabeingchildish]

So, What the Heck is Goin’ On?

Last year of school and Henry had senioritis on the very first day. His, Charlotte’s, and Jasper’s calendars were linked up for senior events and work schedules, and he was anxious seeing everything on Charlotte’s plate. Stu-co meetings, yearbook committee, L.I.M.P. events, monthly ‘girl time’ with Piper (which Henry realized from now having access to her calendar that those fell upon Char’s menstrual cycle, and learned after asking about how she could bear to be around Piper of all people during said time that the two of them were “synched up” for said cycles), his birthday, holiday breaks… Wait…

Near Henry’s birthday, there were some blocked off days but he didn’t see any notes. They were highlighted, but no notes were included. Maybe Charlotte was planning something? She was good at planning. Her Ray’s Days of Fun had become excellent over the years. He wasn’t going to dwell on it. He’d just like whatever she had planned, because honestly, he’d likely forget all about this until his birthday actually got closer. She also had several college appointments, and this, that and the other… “Hey, Char… Are you gonna schedule some us time? Because the copy of our year’s schedule that I’m looking at is severely lacking that.”

“Pick some free days and enter it in. You’ve got working fingers,” she said, not looking up from her laptop, as she worked.

She had been working since they got out of school today, he just realized. “What are you doing?”

“I have a research paper due next week,” she said.

“But, school just started! How do you already have a research paper?”

“I have three,” she said. He groaned. If the rest of the school year was going to be like this, she would have very little time to spend with him! “Three research papers, two science projects, and I’m trying to make sure that I finish at least two versions of my application letters for college this month.”

“Your what?”

She finally looked up at him and gave him a sympathetic smile, “I figured that you wouldn’t be thinking about writing yours yet, so I sent you a document with the stuff that you should mention and the stuff that you definitely should not mention, for whenever you get around to writing it. I’ll revise it after you’ve completed the first draft.”

“When should I start on it?”

“Well, you should get on it right away, to be honest. The Dylexicon app has been glitchy, and I don’t want your words to be too confused and be last minute.”

“If the app is glitchy, they’ll definitely be confused. Glitchy, how?”

“Well, you know how it’s supposed to autocorrect the things that you get switched around? It’s been switching around incorrectly written words, but not switching them around properly. Several dyslexic people have complained about it, because they depend so heavily on it's assistance and can’t always tell that the words are still messed up. What you need is a top of the line voice to text app. Those are usually always dysfunctional, though.”

“What needs to happen is that if colleges or institutions, or whatever know that people are dyslexic, they need to give us an option of an in person or over the phone presentation. Why, in this day in age does anybody still have to write anything? If they just met me and let me tell them who I am, instead of me writing to them about it, they’d be a hundred times more impressed.”

Charlotte reached out and intertwined her fingers with Henry’s and he smiled at her. “Hey. Whatever medium that we have to use, you know I’ll help you out.”

He couldn’t help but melt at that, but realistically, “I mean, yeah, now… But, it’s not like you can do that for the rest of my life.”

She looked taken aback, but recovered quickly and smoothly said, “I’m almost absolutely certain that I’m definitely gonna outlive you. Therefore, as a matter of fact, I can do that for the rest of your life.” Now, he was practically gushing. She pulled her hand back and resumed typing wondering, “What are you grinning about? You should’ve already known that I’ll always help you out, no matter what.”

“Yeah, but I like stuff like you promising to do that for the rest of your life.”

“The rest of your life,” she corrected him. He smiled and laid his head on her shoulder, then moved around to wrap himself around her from the back and lay his head on her pillow of curls. She shook her head and kept typing. It was sort of like having an overgrown adorable pet sometimes.

.

For the rest of my life! Yeah. Of course! Henry was a little bit irritated that Charlotte hadn’t made the time that she promised to make for him. He’d put dates into their calendar and she’d change the color and make notes of why she couldn’t make it or edit that she had something come up!

Now, he and Jasper were planning on going to Swellview University’s Autumn meet and greet (which was HER idea, btw) and she had to bail because a publication wanted to speak with her about her study on relationships, availability and attractability from last school year! Which… Was awesome and he actually wanted to go with her, but she told him that he’d only be sitting in the waiting room while she spoke with the publisher and that wasn’t a good enough usage of his time for him to miss out on the chance to rub elbows with staff and students at his future school!

So, he and Jasper made plans for a little staycation in a hotel near the university so that they could do the weekend tour, the mixer, and the assembly of interested applicants and Charlotte went to her thing… Only, she didn’t.

Her location was on and Henry noticed that she was nowhere near the publisher’s at the time that her appointment was for. He figured that maybe she rescheduled or something, so when he got a break, he gave her a call. “Hey… How’d your thing go today?”

“It went well. They’re going to publish my studies in next month’s issue and they’re interested in me possibly writing other pieces for them. I’m honestly thinking about showing them my debate for the you know what talk”

“That’s awesome, Baby! When did you wind up going to see them?”

“4:00,” she said without a second thought.

He twitched a little. Was this a lie, or a simple mistake? “No, at 4, your location was turned on and that showed that you weren’t there at that time.”

“You calendar stalking me, Babe?” she joked. He was apprehensive though. Why is she avoiding what I said? She sighed and told him, “I actually left my phone behind by accident. I had to read magazines in the waiting room!”

Now, he felt relieved. He knew that there had to be an explanation. Even though… something still felt off. Left her phone behind, where? He couldn’t remember the exact location of where she had registered, but it certainly wasn’t her house. Instead of dwelling on it, he moved on. “Magazines? What is this, 1988?” He teased. He was looking at the calendar and noticed that she made sure to turn off her location, now. “So, what other plans do you have for the night? Wanna come hang out at our hotel, since you’re done with your business?”

“My business is never done. I have some other things that I was gonna finish up while you two are gone. But, be sure to tell me all about it whenever you’re back, okay? Gotta go, though.”

“O...K. Okay. Well… I love you.”

“Love you too. Click.”

“Click.” Henry stared at the phone for a while as Jasper waxed his belly. “Dude… I think that Charlotte might have lied to me.”

“Why would she do that?” Jasper wondered, bracing himself to pull the wax strip from his belly.

“I don’t know. That’s what bothers me. What could she possibly feel like she has to hide from me?” Jasper ripped the strip off and let out a loud groan as he did. Henry turned up his nose at the whole scene, but his mind was stuck on what was happening with his girlfriend.

.

Charlotte’s article was published and Henry bought actual copies for everyone, got his and hers framed, downloaded it on his phone, and made her a little congrats gift basket with balloons and flowers. “This is a lot,” she said, trying not to gush too much over his excitement, but honestly he was just glad that she had at least told the truth about that. She had been weirdly secretive and kind of cold with him since that lie that he was sure that she told him and he was worried that they were possibly on their last legs.

“It’s a lot, but not too much. You did something great! I want you to know that you’re appreciated,” he said. “Also, I was wondering if you wanna go half on Halloween costumes this year?”

“We’ve done team costumes before. Remember? But, then Piper got kidnapped by a monster and that kinda put a dampener on Halloween to be honest.”

“Yeah, but I meant like maybe me and you, not the three of us…”

She gasped and offered, “But, Jasper will feel left out!”

“Dude, I already talked to him about it. Do you just not want to do this with me or something?” He kind of was fussing.

“Nothing like that. Sure, let’s do it. Any ideas?”

“A couple. A few, actually! I was thinking Thor and Valkyrie, or Deadpool and Domino…”

“Henry! Those would take a lot of time to get prepared for. Why didn’t you ask me about this sooner? You know that I’ve been busy…”

Yeah, if anybody knew that she had been busy, it was him. But, yet again, he didn’t address that. “I’m gonna take care of securing the costumes. Did you have anything you were maybe thinking about?”

“I was gonna be Red, the Tethered. But, I can always use that jumpsuit as a work suit when I’m tinkering on machinery this semester, since you’ll be handling my Valkyrie battle outfit costume.”

“How’d I know you’d pick the one with the flying horse?”

“Because the other one’s belly is out,” she said and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for my gift basket. You’re too sweet for me,” she said and something in her tone worried him. What did she mean by that? Had she done something that might hurt or betray him? Was he just being paranoid???

.

“I am definitely not being paranoid,” Henry said as tried to convince Schwoz to hack into Charlotte’s phone so that he could rest his mind on what she was doing in those times that they weren’t together.

“You are being paranoid and I don’t want any part of spying on Charlotte. She’s the only one here who is my friend!” Schwoz said, pushing past the tall boy.

“Don’t you want her boyfriend to be secure? Don’t you want us to be happy? That can’t happen if I can’t find out what she’s been up to.”

“The moment that you let fear run your relationship is the moment you let fear ruin your relationship,” Schwoz said and finally moved past Henry.

“It would be different if she was transparent! Charlotte’s hiding something, and she is very smoothly avoiding letting me know what it is.”

“Why are you so sure that it isn’t a nice surprise?” Schwoz asked. “It’s Charlotte. When has she ever done something bad to someone?”

“I made a checklist of the suspicious stuff that she’s done in the past couple of months. I didn’t include every single instance where she rescheduled things, but some of the lies I’ve suspected, and this one here… She said to me, in a pretty weird way “You’re too sweet for me.” What did she mean by that, huh? Huh? Who ever thinks that I’m too sweet? A guilty conscious, that’s who!” Schwoz rolled his eyes and left. Henry continued to try to spy on his own. He was so into it that he didn’t hear whenever the elevator opened and Jasper and Charlotte caught him trying to hack from the control panel.

“I’m sorry, what are you doing, Henry?” Charlotte asked. He let out a tiny scream and tried to clear the screens of her logins and his failed attempts. “Are you… investigating me?” She asked, angrily.

Jasper commented in a low voice, “I tried to tell you that he was on to you.”

Henry stood up out of the seat and it slid when he did. He approached with his arms folded and nodded his head, “Yeah, I’m on to you, alright. One doesn’t pay obsessive attention to detail in order to impress his observant intellectual sweetheart and not know when deception is afoot.”

“Okay, cool,” she said and walked passed him. She logged on to her accounts for him, left the on the screen, opened her phone and handed him that, and pulled out her Pearpad, to do the same. “I’ll be up in the store. Let me know when you find what you’re looking for but were too chicken to just ask me about, like a big boy.” She slammed the Pearpad into his chest and punched the elevator button with fury. He whispered ‘ouch,’ but then rushed to check out her accounts.

Jasper wondered, “Are you kidding? You’re not gonna chase her and apologize for what was clearly an epic fail on your part?”

“An epic fail? Mr. Told Her I Was On to Her? I’m gonna get to the bottom of this.”

“You’re gonna lose Charlotte. I’m gonna go tell her that you’re so upset that you can’t think straight and try to salvage this, since I’m somehow the one with the clear head right now.”

.

Henry didn’t find anything and Jasper was right - Charlotte was pissed. Now, empty handed and honestly embarrassed, he finally asked, “What was it that I was noticing, if it wasn’t something going wrong?”

“Me being busy, maybe? Me having a lot on my plate. Me literally trying to complete my senior year and get all of the accolades for my graduation sash as I can?” She clasped her hands together and wondered, “Henry… If you can’t trust me while I’m here, how are we going to make a long distance relationship work for the time that I’m not in Swellview? If you don’t trust me when I give you full and complete access to my calendar and my life, how will you be confident that I’m not doing anything wrong whenever you can’t see me for weeks at a time?”

“I can… But… Are you honestly telling me that there’s nothing, ABSOLUTELY nothing, that you’re hiding from me right now? Nothing that you’ve been hiding from me for a while?”

“There IS something! Because you love surprises and I wanted to bless you with a few - for your birthday, for Christmas, for the end of the school year. Henry, I have to put things together whenever I can and I don’t want to ruin surprises for what could be the last special days that we spend together in a while. You think I’ll be able to come home for your birthday when the college  semester is in progress? You think I’ll be able to spend whole holidays at your house when I come to visit my parents? I’m TRYING to make sure that everything goes as perfectly as possible, still keep some mystery and excitement, and do all of that while maintaining a perfect GPA and looking like a whole snack!” She folded her arms. “And to be honest, you not trusting me, and to go as far as to try to spy on me when all you had to do was ask if something was going on… That’s a deal breaker, for me, Hen.”

He felt his heart sink. “No, no, no, no…” He collected her hands into his and nodded his head, “Okay, I should have asked and if you’d told me all this, I hope that I would have let it go. But, please… I made a mistake. We’re more than sweethearts. We’re best friends. Adjust the deal, for me. I’ll never do anything like this again. We usually have great communication. I think I got a little possessive and insecure after we… you know what… and you even said in your research that sometimes, teenagers react and respond differently than they feasibly would have after taking that step.” She fought a smile. “I’m getting through,” he noted and smiled at her.

“Don’t ever make me feel the way that I did whenever I caught you snooping on me. I felt like you punched me in the heart. I’m not supposed to feel that way about you and if it ever happens again, I don’t care how cute you are or how gentle your touch is, I’m gonna walk away.”

“Deal! I’ll never do it again.” He gave her a tight hug and she sat there against his chest for a while.

“I’m exhausted,” she admitted. “I’ve barely gotten any sleep lately trying to get your birthday gift secured.”

“Hey, if we’re good, I don’t care, Char. As long as we’re together…” His phone made a notification sound and he checked it. “You’ve been approved for a birthday Spa Ship reservation?” He read out loud.

“Oh, thank God!” Charlotte cried out. “That removes one thing from my hectic schedule.”

“Spa Ship??? Are you kidding???” He cheered. “Those tickets are virtually IMPOSSIBLE to get, Dude!”

“With the right one, anything is possible,” she said. “I just felt like you rarely have time for yourself. Even on your birthday, Ray has been known to put you to work, and since the Spa Ship will have a fall tour, you could enjoy a spa getaway on the sea and step into 18 with comfort and tranquility.”

“I can’t believe I thought that you, a literal perfect freakin’ angel was up to no good.” He kissed her on the forehead. “What can I do for you? You haven’t been sleeping well. Want me to I don’t know… I feel like I should do something.”

“Walk me home and give me goodnight kisses?”

“I always get the best parts of our deals!”

[eleanor-writes-stuff]

dick leave best leave [ficlet]

In which Rey inadvertently creates a new kind of sick leave when she takes the day off to play hooky with Ben.

Alternatively: all bow down to @kylorenvevo, She Who Coined the Term 'Dick Leave'.

Also available on AO3. And hey, maybe check out my Twitter or Ko-fi?

. . .

Rey (08:37): Hey, Poe. Sorry for the short notice but I don’t think I’ll be coming in today. Came down with a stomach bug sometime last night.

This is the first time Rey’s called in sick since she joined Resistance two years ago, and that alone is enough to make Poe worry. He’s found her working through tears on multiple occasions when her cramps are particularly bad and she was the only person who came into work after last year’s company picnic gave nearly everyone food poisoning, so there’s no way a simple stomach bug could’ve bested her.

Finn walks past his open door just then, and Poe quickly flags him down. “Hey, have you heard from Rey?”

“Not since Saturday,” Finn tells him, seemingly unconcerned until he picks up on Poe’s mood. “Why, what’s wrong? Is she okay?”

Poe holds out his phone and lets him read the text for himself, watching as Finn’s brows furrow in a combination of concern and confusion. “If it’s bad enough to keep her home, there’s no way it’s just a stomach bug.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking,” Poe sighs. “I’m gonna call and see if she needs any help.”

His first attempt goes unanswered as Finn comes to lean against his desk, but the second call proves more successful when Rey answers after a mere three rings, her voice shaky and breathless. Poe can only imagine how terrible she must be feeling.

“Hello?”

He puts her on speakerphone as Finn leans in. “Rey? Hey, it’s Poe. Just checking to see if you need anything–”

Something in the background cuts him short, a rumbling that almost sounds like–

“Shh,” Rey hisses sharply, voice muffled by distance until she addresses him again. “Sorry, yeah, I’m here,” she assures him in a hurry, still sounding out of breath. “Thanks for checking on me, but I’ll be okay, Poe. Probably just something I ate last night, I’m sure it’ll pass in a day– Hey!”

Rey muffles the call on her end once more, but he swears he hears laughter and that background rumble again–

“Or two, you never know with these things. I think I should really make sure it’s out of my system before I get back, wouldn’t want to pass this on to everyone else at the office–”

“Rey,” Poe cuts in hesitantly, trading a look with an equally suspicious Finn. “Is there… someone with you?”

“What?” she squeaks, all traces of laughter gone. “No, no,” Rey insists, throwing in an exaggerated cough. “Definitely not, wouldn’t risk anyone catching this–”

Finn shakes his head at the phone. “Peanut, it kinda sounds like–”

“Oh, hey, Finn! You’re there too. Anyway, I think I’m about to be sick again so I’m just gonna go now. Thanks for calling, guys, really appreciate it, see you at work tomorrow–” Here she misses a beat as the line crackles, almost as if something just hit her phone – “or maybe the day after, we’ll see how it goes! Bye!”

The line goes dead, leaving both men to stare at Poe’s phone and the contact photo it displays, a beaming Rey giving the camera one of her infamously bad winks.

“Oh my god,” Poe finally says when his screen goes dark. “She is totally playing hooky right now.”

“For a guy!” Finn nearly yells, his eyes bugging out at this unexpected development. Poe watches as he begins to pace the office, muttering to himself until–

“Ben!” he exclaims, turning to Poe with a grin that stretches from ear to ear. “He was supposed to visit this weekend, remember? Rey wouldn’t shut up about it all month–”

“Holy shit, do you think they finally–”

Finn nods. “It’s the only possible explanation! You know her, she’d never skip work for anything less than finally getting together with him.”

After nearly five years of watching Rey pine for her college roommate, this is nothing short of an overwhelming turn of events. Poe collapses into his chair while Finn whips out his phone and feverishly taps at it, presumably calling Rey out on her little lie. “Sick leave my ass,” he scoffs as he sends off a text.

“More like dick leave,” Poe blurts out unthinkingly as his mind finally connects the background rumble to Ben Solo’s morning voice, only to startle when Finn drops his phone onto the carpeted surface as he bursts into laughter. He joins in as soon as his brain catches up, and Leia walks into his office to find the both of them clutching their sides as they fuel each other’s laughter.

“What’s going on here?” their boss demands, a smile tugging at her lips even as she attempts to sound stern. “And where’s Rey? She’s never late.”

Poe wipes away a stray tear and tries to compose himself only for Finn to turn to Leia with a completely straight face and proudly announce, “She’s on dick leave.”

The silence that follows leaves Poe’s ears ringing, a laugh caught in his throat as he throws Finn a panicked look before they both turn back to a wide-eyed Leia, speechless for all of five seconds before she lets out a dry chuckle.

“Well,” she rasps, eyes glittering with mischief. “If he’s anything like his father, she’s definitely earned that recovery time.”

And with that bombshell, their boss sweeps out of Poe’s office and leaves both of them stunned into silence.

. . .

THIS WAS A one-hour speed-write for Thea, who had the best autocorrect mishap of all time. OF ALL TIME.

As always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! Please don’t hesitate to like/reblog/comment.

[so-hereiam]

The Growth of Infections

How two separate skin infections on the same leg on the same spot exactly one year apart sum up the latest 12 months of my life

Currently, I’m sitting on my bed with a rather swollen ankle exactly one year to the week since the last swollen ankle due to the same culprit—an infection. This time, it was my own fault (last time was my own fault too, actually), as I should’ve let go of the freaked out cat much earlier than I did. However, I was intent on bringing Stumpy to my house so he could hang out with me and fill the void in my heart for cats. (A few extra details: since the beginning of last year, I was praying that somehow a cat would enter my life—at the end of last year, my family here in Palau adopted four cats. Another detail: Stumpy is named Stumpy because he was born with about half of his tail missing—that’s not super important, but I felt I owed him at least that much. Additional detail: I love cats and nothing, even a serious skin infection, will ever change that.)

The attack happened on Monday night. And by attack, I mean me, very determined to not let Stumpy run away from me outside, holding onto him for too long and allowing him to viciously bite my lower leg. Immediately, it was a bloodbath. All I remember is juggling a psychotic cat as Wenita yelled, “Let go!” and Duke sweetly watched while tenderly holding Baby Girl (the other, non-psycho cat). Then, blood streaming down my leg, into my flip flop, and me slipping on it as I attempted to run to the house to wash it off. I’ve never been seriously bitten by a cat, so this was a new experience, and I of course had enough time to take a picture of the mutilated leg. I’m exaggerating, of course. At the time, it didn’t hurt that badly, but for some reason, I was very afraid that it might get infected. I cleaned it with alcohol, then washed it with soap, then covered it with a bandaid and went to bed.

The next day at school, it was hurting a lot. It was uncomfortable to walk on, but I was just pushing through it. I told a few of my kids what happened but other than that, I didn’t think much of it. Until later that night, when it reaaaaaally started to hurt, and it looked suspiciously red, and large drops of puss were oozing out of the four fang marks. TMI? Sorry. I ran to the grocery store and bought some hydrogen peroxide and antibiotic cream and did another attempt at healing myself. Then the next day (today) happened, and I continued to limp around all day as the pressure on that leg caused some pretty bad pain. By early morning, I knew that I had to go get it checked out (and if you know me, that’s a big step because I hate doctors, hospitals, needles, anything to do with addressing any health concerns for my person). After school, I headed to the clinic and went through the whole process. I waited, then I was admitted, then I waited, then they had some blood drawn to see if the infection was in there, then I waited, then I talked to the doctor and she said upon seeing it, “YEP, that’s infected,” then she subscribed some antibiotics and cream, then I waited, then the in-clinic pharmacy gave me the goods, then I left.

So now we’re back to the start—me sitting on my bed with a rather swollen ankle. I can’t help but think about how completely random it is that exactly one year ago today I was in the same predicament, but slightly different.

We had just had our Welcome Back Bash at school. This was before I really knew what I was in for that year. I still was a bit shy around the kids, still didn’t quite know what I was doing with teaching, but overall I was excited for the year and the new life. I was in charge of the soccer station for the Bash, and I developed two blisters on the back of my heels from my shoes. Of course, I thought nothing of it and continued with my life. That same weekend, I was headed back to Canada for three days for one of my closest friends’ weddings. I didn’t think at all about the blisters, but got on my first out of four (?) flights and slept. The details are foggy, but all I know is that somewhere between Koror and Vancouver, my ankle blew up like a balloon and I ended up limping all over multiple airports to catch my flights. Finally, at the last one, I just flattened myself out on the ground at the gate and propped my foot up on a chair. The ankle was big, red, and in super-bad pain. I finally got to Vancouver, so happy to see all my peeps again, and just ignored the pain thinking that it would eventually go down (my feet swell a LOT while flying, so I didn’t realize it was because of the blister—after this trip, I learned the magic of compression socks and it’s changed my life). I was texting my mom about the injury and she, of course, was freaking out about it and telling me I had to go to the hospital. She was arriving the next day, so I told her that it would be fine and not to worry about it. She, of course, did not not worry about it and sent me as many things that she could about infections and the symptoms and side-effects. I read a few but was extremely tired from jumping time zones and went to take a little nap. But, when I started feeling chest pains, I realized it was not my time to die yet. One of the screenshots from my mom listed chest pain as a sign of a serious infection (cellulitis), so a couple of my closest friends took me to the emergency room. Long story short, I got an IV, blood work (THE WORST needle experience of my life—I was dehydrated so she couldn’t get it from my arm and had to, after many tries, get it from my wrist—I cringe just typing this), antibiotics, and cream, and a very handsome doctor telling me I had cellulitis. Autocorrect just changed that to “cellulite”—that too, but not as serious of a condition.

So, two different infections, same leg, same problem, one year apart by the week. It seems like a strange coincidence, but I realized that these two experiences illustrate the difference and the growth that this past year has catalyzed. Because of what happened last year, I learned what to do better this year—not put it off, go to the clinic ASAP, get the medicine to tackle the issue before it got worse. I learned and I grew from that painful situation. When the next painful situation came around, I was ready.

It goes so much deeper than infections. Last year was more of a painful experience for me mentally and emotionally. Many times, even spiritually. Though I knew that the discomfort and struggle was worth it, I still had a very hard time feeling like every aspect of my life was shaky and failing. This summer was also very hard for me because I was wrestling with how hard the year was, how burned out I was, how much I was dreading going back. And that’s not something that you would want to hear from a missionary—that they are literally dreading going back. Not going back, though, was not an option for me because I was determined to follow through and I knew that God had placed me here for two years. As I was landing in Palau a few weeks ago, my heart was full of discomfort and emptiness. I didn’t want to do another year like the last year because I was very sure I wouldn’t make it through and still be the kind of person that I want to be.

But from that painful experience, I learned. And I grew. And God was with me every step of the way. Over the summer, he showed me the problems with my attitude. He allowed me to be reminded of what life is like without him. He filled me with the motivation to be a better teacher, person, and sharer of his love. Slowly, as I dragged my emotional feet getting ready for school again (thank God for my parents and their help in doing what I didn’t have the mental energy to do), something changed. I don’t even know how to explain what changed, but hope slowly regrew within me. Excitement for the potential of the year grew. A desire to reconnect with God and be of service again grew. I learned from the painful experience. I learned how to do better. How to seek better. How to process better. How to love better. And while I am far from having even a little bit of anything figured out, it’s growth. And it’s infectious.