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#<— doing it by day is actually insane behavior we’re doing months
confused-alot · 2 years
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1. i am currently understimulated in my class load and i have too much time on my hands
2. ive only had this blog since mid 2020
3. ive recently reached 10000 posts on here
---> in conclusion im gonna graph my hyperfixations by date and number of posts, corresponding to both important dates in my life and fandom events
lets see those peaks and dropoffs
im pissed i can’t remember exactly when everything happened (when did i read those books!!?!?) it’s my gd life and memories are all that i am as a person so can i please not lose this shit
edit: the above is almost finished but also just reached 400 fic bookmarks so i should analyze those too. if only i committed to making an acct earlier instead of lurking as a guest i’d have more data on the shit that actually got me to start reading ao3 back in the day like gomens and stucky lol
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polyamorouspunk · 2 months
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kfbdmbddmnd I know its not sleepover fridays where you take these kinda of asks so you can either hold onto this until then or not, no huge deal, I just wanted to get this off my chest and im realizing this may sound incomprehensible lmao. so!
I may have issues with my first ever relationship, of any incredibly intimate/pseudo-romantic kind, and I’m worried that I may have fucked up.
I’m in a pretty heavy duty qpr with this person (if I had to call it anything it would be qpr, they’re more married to the term than I am.) and have been for about 7/8 months now. it was Incredibly Intense sparks between us, instant insanely high attachment insanely fast. they described our initial few conversations weeks after the fact as borderline spiritual, neither of us really believe in soulmates but they felt like they must have known me in a past life. we’re both polyamorous, and they’ve been engaged to someone else for quite a bit before they met me (for reasons, they’re on rocky-ish terms rn but still together), and one time they looked me dead in the eye and said if they weren’t already promised to someone they’d want to marry me. I have been this persons seemingly sole emotional rock this entire time, my dms are a dumping ground for everything from soul crushing existential dread and breakdowns to the newest fixation to the latest crushes.
at first I was on board with how fast we’ve been going, trying to match their energy. they have years more experience than I do with polyamory which initially I’ve been deferring to just like experience wise while I’ve just read more ethical non monogamy/polyamory theory. im on the aroace spectrum, ive been really up front with my stance on amatonormativity and that kind of thing, whatever pace works for us works we just gotta keep tabs on our comfortability and energy. but like. hm. it’s clear that I’m the one with all of the emotional maturity and regulation.
when they said they’d want to marry me when they were already engaged felt like a red flag at the time, esp since I knew that they were going through a rocky period with their fiancé. they started So intense So fast that. I sorta feel like it’s fucked with my brain chemistry. to the point where now I feel like hopping out the gate with “I must have known you in a past life” in this very “stay with me forever” sort of way while only really knowing each other for a Month is also sort of a red flag in hindsight.
now heres the thing though. I have been matching this intensity, learning new things about myself and how my own attraction works, but like, my trust will be broken by them somehow and I’ll plummet through almost half the stages of grief and have a Hell of a time trying to feel the same kind of close to them that we started out as, I explain my grievance, they have a breakdown why they’re a bad person I assure them this isn’t the case, we just gotta improve behavior, and then they’re back to normal.
there’s small things like us discussing relationship terminology, telling each other that partner sounds good, but then in public they introduce me as their friend. or asking for privacy concerning my mental health stuff I tell them and then later find out they told like 4 other partners and qpps with out me knowing.
or the larger things like one time I was depressed so we planned a date like 2 weeks in advance, talking about it basically every day. but the night before they had an impromptu one night stand with an acquaintance, spammed my messages with gushing about this new sort of relationship, how great the sex was, including pictures I Did Not Ask For, and how they’ve never felt this way before. I was initially surprised at this deluge of stuff but ok, I was feeling happiness for them, I do get a lot of compersion, but also felt it was a lil weird.
when we actually meet up, they spend the Entire date talking about this other person. Everything. Not once do they ask about my day or talk about anything else. at one point they start physically flirting with me but then get distracted with talking about how the other person would touch them and then said that they’re still worked up from them.
I am viscerally uncomfortable, almost dissociating. I try to change the subject and they just blithely switch it back to them after a few minutes. later when I told them about how this made me feel, they had a breakdown about how they’re a bad person and don’t respect anyone. which while empathetic, is unhelpful. I can’t comfort them through an issue I’m having with them.
so I guess my question would be how the fuck do I deescalate a relationship like this. I like them, I like spending time with them, but they don’t show me any thoughtfulness at all and my boundaries are encroached upon with zero self awareness.
Okay yeah so I’m sensing some like. I’m not going to say “borderline behaviors” because like there are a variety of mental illnesses that have similar symptoms, but as someone with BPD I’m going to say “bpd symptoms” because they’re similar to ones that I would have.
Anyone that uses “I’m such a bad person” is not in a good headspace. I don’t remember the last time I’ve gone on the “I’m such a terrible person” rampage but whenever it was it was because I was throwing a pity party and that is exactly what it is. No one who is throwing out the most guilt trip line of all time like that is in a good headspace or mature. Now I mean like I’ve said “what if I’m a bad person what if I need to be better” and that’s different. I’ve said that recently and it led to “maybe I should go back to therapy and work on myself” which wow wouldn’t you know it is exactly what I’m doing. Big difference between someone telling you you hurt them and going “IM SORRY IM SUCH A BAD PERSON” and going to your friends in private and being like “hey I don’t think I handled this as well as I would have liked in retrospect, could you maybe give your insight on what I could have done better and what I maybe handled appropriately given the situation, AITA or no?” Yk? Which is exactly what I did the night I went to 🔮’s bf’s party which was what then led her to saying she needed space from me so then I was like “hey here’s what happened did I do something wrong?” @ my friends in my server.
You can apologize without making it about yourself. You can say “I’m sorry” without taking on “I’m such a bad person”. I said sorry to 🔮 numerous times, asked if I could fix it, asked if I ruined it between us. But never did I say “sorry I’m just such a horrible person” because you know what I’m still trying to sell myself to this girl why would I say shit like “I’m such a bad person.” Like when someone tells you they’re a bad person they want reassurance they’re not because if you say “yeah you kinda are” then suddenly YOU’RE the shitty one but like yeah it’s really not a good move to trash yourself it’s a lot sexier to stand your ground and be like “I’m sorry this upset you and I’m willing to accommodate and change my behavior while staying true to me.”
It really seems like you were, at one point, just their newest obsession. And that they become obsessed with other people equally. It seems like you got sucked into their vortex, and it’ll be a lot more painful for you to get out than for them. It seems like you may have already tried to set boundaries (communicating that things upset you) and they were not well received (re: “I’m such a bad partner I’m so sorry” instead of “I’m sorry let me work on that next time”).
I’m not a spiritual person but I’m also not going to knock someone else’s spiritual beliefs so I don’t want to be like “man telling someone you must have known them in a past life sounds like it could be psychosis” but it sure is Coming On Too Strong™️. I mean, like I know that I come on too strong, but holy shit that is a whole ‘nother level. If it makes you uncomfortable to hear things like that, you are allowed to say that. Because I’m pretty sure that would make me uncomfortable personally.
Also the idea of being “promised to someone” in a nonmonogamous relationship is… sketchy… especially when they are telling you they want to replace that person’s role in their life with you… like that’s not healthy polyamory. Healthy polyamory is creating new roles for people in your life not replacing the roles people already fill with new roles while that person is quite literally still in that role.
If they’re telling other members of their polycule things you asked them to keep to themselves then they are once again not respecting your boundaries.
I understand that people can be really charming and draw people in (think of extreme cases like Manson and Bundy) and that it can be hard to escape that. It doesn’t sound healthy from the outside but I’m not one to be like “dump their ass” for advice. I’m just saying that you’re aware it’s kind of toxic and unhealthy, and obviously I don’t have both sides, but I can say as someone who does have BPD there is a world where you can have a partner with those kinds of issues and have a relationship that isn’t that toxic I swear. Like I was a lot worse than I am not and I got better, like there are plenty of more mild people out there who have the same issues but actually put in the effort to get better for those around them.
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I get that it upsets people to think about Matty possibly falling out with someone he was (seemingly) close with, but if I got online and saw people pitying me like that I’d commit a crime. Like you said, it dehumanizes him. He’s so patient and respectful with us, all he expects is the same patience and respect back. He already gives so much of himself to us, through his art and just daily interactions, no one should think they’re entitled to anymore than he’s willing to share. He’s literally talked multiple times about how he struggles with fame and how much the press fucked with him as a child, he was famous before but one month hanging around TS and suddenly he’s everywhere, it’s just sad to think that his own fans are participating in it.
It’s literally just gossip, but if it’s true, it doesn’t concern us. Friendships end all the time, people grow apart, shit happens. If all this TS stuff never happened no one would be questioning why he didn’t make it to the wedding.
It’s also disappointing because he JUST came back to socials. All this shit (starting with the TikTok) starts up and suddenly he’s gone again. Yeah, I’m sure it has to do with the breaks they’ve had and him spending time in LA, but part of me wonders if he just doesn’t feel like interacting with fans online when he doesn’t have to. I know he comes and goes all the time, but either way, he sees all of this bullshit and fans know it. Theories about his personal life should be kept in DMs (or preferably in their heads).
I know people send you dumb shit but you’re one of the few people I’ve seen actually shut it down, or give a logical, reasonable explanation. I’m also loving Reddit right now since the mods delete any speculation about his personal life.
Anyways, this ended up being way too long, and it’s also me being a hypocrite for speculating, but these past few months have been exhausting, I thought it would let up after May. I know he’s a celebrity but he’s not like most celebrities. He interacts with us like we’re on the same level, he willingly spends time in online fan spaces, he goes out his way to make us happy. Sorry for ranting in your inbox, but this all just bums me out.
Yes I strongly agree with this, especially his social media presence because I’ve seen the shit that people tag him in. And it’s insane. He’s got thick skin and a healthy detachment from peoples views of him but he’s still a human being. It can’t always be easy.
I don’t think we appreciate his love for his job and his fans enough. Some days in May were REALLLYYY hard for him. Twice he had to go onstage and perform less than an hour after some nasty articles were being published about him. I love my job and my students more than I love myself. I would do it for free if the university didn’t pay me. But I don’t know if I would be able to keep it together if I were in Matty’s shoes. And sometimes he was the one talking us down. “I’m still here and I love you guys.” “Some people they have people. I have you guys.” C’mon! How does it not feel awful participating in behavior that hurts him or is in any way shape or form harmful towards an artist like that? He’s so good to us and goes above and beyond all the fucking time. And he’s spoken so much about how important it is to him that he connects with people and builds this sense of community cuz it’s a way to combat the doom and gloom of our current state. He’s always open and generous and kind. He’s given stage props to fans. He’s had a fan onstage to play guitar for robbers. He’s played songs that were not on the setlist just cuz people have requested them and he’s humble enough to feel that the show is about the audience not about him, so he will go out of his way to give the audience the best time that he can possibly give. and his own fuckin fans are doing this to him??? Unacceptable. and I’m so tired of it. This fandom is way better than this. We never used to do this kind of thing. We should cut this shit out before it becomes permanent.
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creationfathers · 7 months
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psycho latest..
"@ Misha Collins if you're going to keep ghosting me like this then I won't even try anymore . You treat me like a doormat and I just let you ghost me all these years and walk all over me. I deserve better than this crap misha. Celebrity or not . You call yourself " spiritual " but you're egotistical and feed off attention from your fans. Do you even care about me? Am I even important to you at all? Was the last two years just some kind of joke to you? Posting Taylor Swift content just to bait me.... Typical divine masculine behavior! IM DONE BEING YOU TWIN FLAME!"
"@ misha the INVISIBLE string. The golden cord that binds us. DROPPING THE WHOLE BAKERY NOT JUST BREAD-CRUMBS. Is this KARMA? What am I just around to keep you relevant? Do you actually care about me or do you just like the attention that my “crazy twinflame love” gets you? Sitting under a WILLOW tree not-reading any poetry. When I leave you always bait me. Is it me? AM I THE PROBLEM? Or IS IT OVER YET? and you know how to poke my damn buttons. But maybe… I’m still just a little ENCHANTED, thinking about November… but you leave me with all this KARMA AND ILLICIT AFFAIRS…… but baby…. YOUR LOOSING ME… I can no longer hang on….but even when it’s over… I’ll always call you my LOVER."
"@ misha your forever my... Lover. YOU CAN GROW THAT BEARD TO THE ground. And I would still LOVE YOU."
(after some misha fans told her to stop and seek psychiatric help)
"@ misha these people who “adore you” don’t like the other half of your soul…. Hey SPN haters. You take everything I say and turn me into a monster? Just so you know. I will not tolerate hate on a platform that is meant for my self-expression. You know NOTHING and I mean absolutely NOTHING about my life. I have 3 children that are my entire world, and although i never met misha’s children i would consider them as my own if we ever were to be in a place of a real relationship. (But we’re not and never will be) this account is just for self- expression. This is why I stopped writing so much poetry because I am tired of the rumors, speculation, and “gossip”. Xoxo. Have a wonderful day. And be nice from now on or I will not hesitate to block you from a POETRY ACCOUNT made for POETRY and occasionally talking to @ misha"
"Sometimes I wonder how much we mirror eachother. Do you ever miss me and your tired eyes find my poetry? Do I have to tell yourself “don’t look” because you know I’m only talking to you… do you have to burden of wondering “is he talking to me” life must be so easy knowing how much you are loved… knowing you are accepted with every flaw illuminating your beauty."
"November was 4 months ago… yet I’ve aged like it’s been 40 years. Guess twinflame seperation phase has deemed not-so-great side effects."
(posts a pic of herself dressed like an insane person at the Hawaii convention she was kicked out of) "@ misha this was the last day I saw you. I miss you terribly… we only live once. I want to see you again. But you’re going to have to find a way to prove me that this is real for you… I’m Inlove with you. And I know it’s not the kind of love that will ever fade. I said I am committed to you… which I meant. There’s nobody else I want to spend my life with…. I’ll give you time to show me a decent response. Not through poetry. Or something small. In the FLESH misha. I’m loosing hope in “destiny”…"
"@ misha I love you… am I the one you love? Cmon. Take a risk. Say what you feel in person. I’m home… and I’ll wait for you, but I can’t hold hope forever… and I’m loosing it."
and she's changed her Instagram bio to read "IF THIS IS REAL. Extra bedroom in my 🏠 … take the ✈️ 🌴… come see me…. Before it’s too late…before a “what if”"
This person really thinks Misha Collins, a celebrity who doesn't know her, is going to get on a plane to Hawaii, come to her (parents) house and sleep in her spare bedroom so they can have sex and connect spiritually. She thinks he will fly thousands of miles, confess his love for her and admit that he has secretly been pretending to be a woman on the internet for the past four years and sending her coded love messages via an Instagram account.
She genuinely believes that is going to happen.
And she doesn't believe she is mentally ill. 🙄
(PS - isn't it weird how she completely ignores anything that doesn't fit her delusional narrative? like this latest delulu shitstorm was triggered by Misha posting some jokey nonsense about Taylor Swift and she's convinced that's him communicating with her because she has mentioned Taylor Swift before. But all the Ukraine stuff Misha has also posted? Total silence on that from her. No comment at all. Because it doesn't fit her narrative. So it's irrelevant. She doesn't care at all about that stuff. Even though Misha has spent significantly more time and energy on Ukraine than on.. Taylor Swift. He WENT to Ukraine, met Zelensky, hid in a bunker from Russian shelling, met soldiers, made videos, has raised nearly $300,000 for de-mining efforts, he's posted about it literally dozens of times in the past two years. But to her that's nothing. If she's "the other half of his soul" why doesn't she care about the things he cares about??)
She's so stupid
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kimjoongs · 3 years
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#this is me just ranting abt nursing school so feel free to ignore HAHAHA#but there’s been some things i’ve realized in my 6 months of being in the program#and it’s that not everyone is meant for this profession#and im not saying that to be patronizing or flat out rude#there’s just been lots of behaviors i’ve observed that lead me to that thought#like a few days ago i had a sim lab where we’re given scenarios and we have to act as actual nurses#while the rest of us sit in a separate room and watch u thru the cameras and give u feedback when#the simulation is over#and there was this girl in our group who is from another cohort and the whole time she was being insanely judgemental#and basically talking down on the girls who were doing their simulation#saying things like ‘she shouldnt have done that’ or ‘omg she did that wrong wtf’#even when our instructor said what she did was perfectly fine#like ?????#and she would always criticize but never comment on the strengths of the other girls#and she honestly didn’t look like she wanted to be there and im just ://#yes nursing is abt prioritizing the patient but it’s also abt teamwork and collaboration#nurses work to help each other but if you’re sitting there criticizing every little thing instead of being helpful and#guiding them into the right direction then no one is going to want to work with you#idk the fact that she criticized us bc we didnt do it HER way even tho our way was perfectly acceptable#didnt sit quite right w me#sim lab was supposed to be a lighthearted learning experience but she just made the environment so judgemental and awkward#dia.txt
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nojey · 4 years
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finally
feral boys x streamer!reader (separate)
genre: fluff, crack
warning(s): none
synopsis: the feral boys finally meet their favorite streamers
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dreamwastaken / clay
word count: 407
the day you met dream, you were on the phone with your best friend george, also known as georgenotfound
the day you met dream, you were on the phone with your best friend george, also known as georgenotfound
he was speedrunning on stream while you were on a discord call with him
his viewers knew who you were, not only because you were george’s best friend but also because you were a streamer too
you weren’t a big one but well known for how well you play battle box in mcc
george was about to end his stream after an unsuccessful speed run when he asked you something
“you know dream right?”
“yeah, of course, he’s one of your other best friends” you answered
“are you okay with me adding him to the call?” he asked you.
“uh sure, but aren’t you gonna end stream?” 
“no, i will after this.” he giggled
“why? are you trying to embarrass one of us?” you asked him suspiciously.
“you don’t have to worry about that.” 
you heard a ding from discord, indicating that someone joined your voice chat
“hello? dream?” george asked.
“george. why? why are you doing this to me?” dream asked.
“hi dream,” you smiled.
“uh, hi. hi (y/n).”
“george why did you add me to the call?” he asked george.
“well, i know how much you like watching their stream. and considering you’re both my best friends, why not introduce you! perfect right? anyways. i’m gonna end my stream now. let’s raid karl. and you two can talk to each other. bye now!” he left the call so now it was just you and dream in the vc
it really warmed your heart that someone with such a big platform liked watching your streams since it had been quite hard to gain a following since you started streaming
“hi dream,” you said once again
he sighed. “hi (y/n).” “i really didn’t want him to do that, i didn’t want this to be the first time we meet, you know. i just love watching your streams so much and i wanted it to, honestly, be in person. but you know, george does what he thinks he shou-”
“it’s okay dream, i’ve actually been looking forward to meeting you, considering you’re also one of george’s best friends. but i do agree, he does tend to do whatever he puts his mind to.”
after you calmed his nerves, his conversation skills skyrocketed and the conversations flowed very easily
you guys spent the rest of the night talking 
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georgenotfound / george
word count: 326
being a minecraft streamer and a hypebeast got you some recognition
you were a hypebeast model on instagram and when you had announced you started streaming minecraft on twitch you had grown pretty easily
it didn’t take you time before you were invited to join mcc
not just because you had a big following but because you were actually really good at playing
since you didn’t really know any other mc streamers you got placed in a group with people you had never met
their names were Ph1lzA, WilburSoot, and GeorgeNotFound
the first time you talked to them, they welcomed you with open arms and we so nice
“hi (y/s/n)! i’m philza but you can just call me phil,” he introduced.
“hi phil!” you responded.
“i’m wilbur, is this gonna be your first mcc?” wilbur asked.
“yeah, it is. i’m actually really nervous.” you laughed a bit, to get the nerves out.
“ah okay, well no worries. we were all beginners before. don’t worry about trying to score high, just have fun!” phil assured.
“we’re just waiting for one other person and we’ll get started on the practice.” phil continued.
“okie dokie,” you said. you put yourself on mute and wiped the sweat off your hands on your pants. 
“hello, hello, sorry i’m late. had trouble starting the server.” you heard. 
“well nice of you to join us george.” wilbur said.
“yeah, yeah. hi philza, hi wilbur, hi (y/s/n)- wait, (y/s/n)??” he stuttered
“hi george?,” you said softly.
“oh my god, i’ve watched your streams before, they’re really cool. i enjoy watching them.” he rambled.
you giggled
“well thank you,” you said, still giggling a little.
for the rest of the day you all practiced, everyone giving you pointers, but george watching carefully to make sure you understood the pointers you were getting
and if you didn’t then he knew to tell you which part you were kind of misunderstanding
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sapnap
word count: 398
you met sapnap long before you became a streamer
you were a big fan of sapnap
and one day you ran into him in public
it was a short interaction but it really meant a lot to you
so you asked for a picture to remember the moment by
after you took the picture you said your goodbyes and you were extremely excited
a few weeks after than interaction you had made the decision to start streaming
you were thinking about becoming one for a long time and after meeting sapnap you made your decision 
because you wanted to be the type of person sapnap was to you
and be a person someone looked up to and meet people that felt the way about you that you feel about sapnap
you’d been a streamer for a few months when you got a raid from sapnap himself
his viewers were suggesting he raided you so he did
you freaked out, you gained a small following and the fact that sapnap decided to raid you? amazed
but what you didn’t know was that he kept watching you
after he saw how appreciative you were he wanted to watch more and he got intrigued
so he followed you and started watching your streams almost every time you streamed whenever he wasn’t busy
after about 2 years of streaming you got a very big following
your supporters were stalking your twitter and found the picture of you and sapnap when you both met
they then began to repost it on twitter tagging the both of you
you saw it and replied, “LMAO i look so small. but big shoutout to sapnap for raiding me as a small streamer and making all this possible <3″
he saw your reply and his eyes went big
HE MET YOU BEFORE!??
he then proceeded to respond to your tweet, “we’ve met before??”
and it went back and forward
“yeah, it was before i was a streamer, we met at like.. the grocery store lol”
“i literally had no idea you were a fan of me”
“yup, i’ve been for the past 3 years”
“dude after i raided you i started watching your streams and you became my favorite streamer”
“well,, you’re still my favorite streamer ;)” 
after that sapnap dmd you asking if you guys could meet in person again
and who could pass up that offer
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karl jacobs
word count: 510
you and karl met at twitchcon
you had recently become a big streamer and this was your 2nd time going to twitchcon
1st time having a meet and greet
meeting your supporters meant so much to you 
you finally get to give each of them a hug, and it may not be all of them but seeing this many people come out to meet you meant more than anyone could imagine
but being at twitchcon also meant you could meet your streamer friends 
which made everything 10x more exciting
you decided to meet up with your friend, valkyrae and you guys were going to a creator party
when you finally got to see her you gave her a huge hug that lasted a while because it was the first time you were meeting in person
once you both reached the venue of where the party was being held you all met up with your other friends. you hadn’t met any of them in person but rae had
you saw sykkuno, lily, michael, toast, and a few other people and smiled really big, excited to see all of them
you finally got to them and pulled them into a group hug
“you guys!! oh my god it feels so good to finally meet all of you!” you said.
“it’s nice to meet you in person, (y/n).” sykkuno said smiling at you
you let go of the hug and remembered everyone else that they were with
“hi! i’m (y/s/n) but you can just call me (y/n),” you said with a smile.
“this is karl, poki, and scarra.” toast introduced.
you saw karl and poki whispering to each other while you got into a conversation with everyone else.
poki coughed and said, “hey guys! don’t we have to go to that thing, right? that thing.” hinting at something, looking between you and karl.
you’re pretty sure everyone caught on and they all agreed.
“oh yeah! that thing!”
“yeah, we should probably go!”
“yup, don’t wanna be late to that thing.”
you looked at them with an unimpressed look as they walked away, looking behind their shoulders to see you and karl standing there.
“hi, i’m-i’m karl, i’m sorry about that. i just told poki that you’re like literally my favorite streamer and i guess she wanted us to talk more? i don’t know, but it’s really nice to meet you.” karl said.
you laughed as you quickly understood your friends weird behavior
“yeah, you raided me a few times- thank you for that by the way. it helped me a lot in growing my fanbase and i don’t think i’d be where i am if you hadn’t raided me.” you smiled at him. he beamed and smiled back at you.
“yeah, no, it was no problem. like i said you’re literally my favorite streamer and being able to help you with that is absolutely insane to me.”
for the rest of the party, your friends could see both of you talking the night away
and maybe even dance together
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quackity
word count: 428
finding out what to do for stream was kinda hard when pretty much all your friends were busy
but then you got a text from karl, asking if you wanted to play jackbox with him and a few friends
you accepted, knowing you wouldn’t have anything else to stream
in the lobby it would be you, karl, dream, sapnap and a few other people you didn’t know
when it was finally time to play, you started up your stream and introduced what you’d be playing that night
“hey guys, welcome welcome, welcome. today i’m gonna be playing jackbox with karl, dream, sapnap, and a few other of karls friends.” 
you joined the vc and immediately heard a lot of boys talking very loudly
you let out a small, “hello?” 
somehow everyone heard you and stopped talking
“(y/n)!” karl yelled out.
dream and sapnap let out a “hi, (y/n)” and you said hello back.
“hi everyone, i’m (y/s/n) but you all can call me (y/n)” you introduced yourself.
eveyrone else said hi and introduced themselves
you found out you were playing with quackity, wilbur, tommy, and techno too
during mad verse city karl was going against quackity and his rap went something like this
“you talk so weird, i’m gonna need translator, next time (y/n)’s here they’re gonna be a hater, because your big crush on them i’ll see ya later”
your mouth was wide open while all the boys started teasing quackity
“what the fuck! i don’t have a crush on them!” 
quackity ended up losing that one.
after the game and you ended you stream you asked quackity to stay
“hi quackity,” you said, with an energetic voice
“... hey, (y/n)” 
“sooo, was what karl said true?” you asked.
“mm not necessarily. it’s not that i have a crush on you. you’re.. just my favorite streamer and you know. this is the first time i’m meeting you and i was telling all of them that i’m nervous because i’ve never talked to you before and i think you’re a great streamer and that you put out really funny content and i didn’t wanna embarrass myself but. karl did that for me.” he rambled
you giggled
“i think that’s really cute. thank you for supporting me. you can dm me on twitter or discord if you ever wanna play sometime.” you told him and left the vc.
you then saw all the boys you were playing with pile into the vc and you could only imagine what they were talking about.
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thebookreader12345 · 3 years
Text
Bullpen Chatter
Pairing: Hailey Upton x Kim Burgess x Best Friend! reader (plus Jay Halstead x reader)
Summary: Y/N and Jay have been seeing each other in secret for months, and after noticing Y/N's change in behavior, Hailey and Kim want to find out who the mystery guy is
Requested: Yes, by anonymous
Warnings: slight swearing
Word Count: 1,698 Words
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"Hey. Where are you going?" Jay asked me sleepily as he noticed me getting ready.
"I've got to get home and shower and stuff," I reply and continue throwing my clothes on.
"I have a shower, and you have clothes here," Jay pointed out.
"I know, but my landlord is on my ass for never being there. Something about me wasting the space," I murmur.
"So then move in with me," Jay spoke. I froze in place for a few seconds, my mind running a mile a minute. I then turned around to face my boyfriend, who was still laying in bed.
"Really?" I question.
Jay nodded, a small smile lighting up his face. "I mean, if you want to. We've been dating for almost 8 months now, and I don't see my feelings for you changing any time soon."
I grinned widely and climbed back onto the bed so that I was laying on top of Jay, and leaned down to press a kiss to his lips. "I would love to move in with you. But you do know that because we're moving in together, we're gonna have to tell the unit that we're dating, right?"
"Give me a few days to prepare, and then we can tell them," Jay said.
"Okay. Now, I really do have to go if I'm going to make it to work on time. See you later," I tell him and peck his lips one last time before taking off. At my apartment, I took a quick shower and threw on some new clothes, barely making it out of the door in time to get to the district. After parking my car, I walked into the station and up the stairs, putting my hair into a ponytail as I did. When I got to the bullpen, I was surprised to see only Hailey and Kim sitting at their desks. "Morning, guys," I greet the two women. "Where are the guys?"
"I think I heard Adam say something about a donut run," Kim mentioned.
"Gotcha," I chirp and make my way over to my desk. Kim and Hailey both glanced at each other, confusion settling onto their faces. "What?"
"The past few months, you've been acting different. A good different, but different," Hailey noted.
"Yeah. You're always so cheerful in the mornings when the rest of us are miserable. So spill it. Who's the guy?" Kim quizzed.
I choked on the water I was drinking and coughed a few times to clear my throat, glancing up at my two co-workers. "What do you mean?"
"A girl only acts like you do when there's an amazing guy in her life," Kim answered. "So tell us who it is?"
"I never said...how'd you...shut up," I stammer, a slight blush rising to my cheeks.
"So there is a guy," Hailey stated. "When do we get to find out who it is?"
"Uh, give me a few days to get back to you on that," I confess and turn my attention back to the paperwork spread across my desk. At that moment, Adam, Jay, and Kevin walked up the stairs, their arms all filled with goodies and drinks.
"Hey guys. What's going on up here?" Kevin asked as he set down a box of donuts.
"We were just trying to get Y/N to tell us who see's seeing," Kim responded. My eyes darted to Jay, and I could tell that he was trying not to smile as he passed out coffees.
"Hold up," Adam interjected. "Y/N's got a boyfriend? Why am I just hearing about this now? Who is it?"
I groaned and set down my pen. "We're not talking about this right now. And I know you've all got paperwork to finish up, so you better get it done before Voight gets here in 10 minutes." The conversation stopped after that, but I knew the issue would eventually come back up, and at one point I'd have to talk about it. It just wouldn't be today
Time-skip Two Days
I was sitting in the interrogation room with files spread out all over the table, my hands occasionally moving the files around so that I could get a better view of certain ones. Lets just say that I was behind on paperwork, and I needed to get everything done before the end of shift. And being in here gave me more space than my desk did. I was just a little over a quarter of the way done when Kim and Hailey entered the room, taking up the two seats across from me.
"Uh, can I help you guys?" I question and sign another piece of paper, sticking it into a file to signify that it was completed.
"We'll be asking the questions here," Hailey cut in and folded her hands in front of her.
"Yeah. This is an official interrogation," Kim added.
I huffed. "Guys, if you couldn't tell, I've got a lot on my plate right now. And just because we're in the interrogation room does not make this an official interrogation. I could walk out of here right now if I wanted to."
"Who's the mystery man? Just tell us," Hailey pleaded.
"Hailey, Kim, I love you both. You're like sisters to me. But this," I exclaim and gesture to what was going on, "is insane."
"Y/N," Kim groaned and reached over to grab onto my arm. "Just tell us who the guy is! We want to know who's making you happy!"
I sighed and set down my pen. "So if I give you both some answers, you'll stop bugging me?"
"Yes," Hailey and Kim answered at the same time.
"Okay then. I won't tell you his name, but I will let you both ask some questions. But be aware that I'm only going to answer vaguely," I warn.
"Yes!" Kim cheered. "Okay. How long have the two of you been together?"
"8 months," I reply. "We're actually thinking about moving in together."
Hailey smiled. "That's amazing. Where does this mystery man work?"
"He's also a first responder," I respond.
"Wait a minute. Do we know him?" Kim quizzed.
"Maybe," I say and stand up, gathering my files as I did. "That's all for questions. Talk to you guys later!" And with that, I sped out of the interrogation room to get away from my two best friends. That night, back at Jay's apartment, the two of us were sitting in the living room eating pizza, a movie playing on the TV.
"Hey. You ever get that paperwork done today?" Jay asked and took a bite of pizza.
I shook my head. "Kim and Hailey wouldn't stop bugging me about the mystery man I was seeing."
Jay chuckled softly. "Well, I'm ready to tell everyone whenever you are."
"Right. Whenever I'm ready," I murmur.
Three Nights Later...
Our case was finally over, and all I wanted was a night off. So, everyone decided to go to Molly's to celebrate and let loose for a bit. Hailey, Kim, and I were sitting at the bar, drinks in front of all of us. I was sipping my beer lightly, waiting for Jay to arrive. I had told Kim and Hailey that my mystery man would be at Molly's tonight, so both of them were on the edge of their seats.
"Would you both settle down? He'll be here shortly," I tell him and take another sip of beer.
"We're just excited," Kim spoke. "You've been dating this guy for 8 months and haven't said a word, so he must be one hell of a guy."
"Oh, believe me, he is," I declare. Just then, the door to Molly's opened, and Jay stepped into the bar, immediately making eye contact with me.
"Jay! Over here!" Hailey called out and waved him over to the three of us. Jay made his way through the crowd to get to us, and as soon as he was close enough, I hopped off of my bar stool, grabbed him by the shirt, and brought his lips down to mine. I could feel Jay smile against my lips as he kissed back, his hands automatically gravitating to my waist. The kiss only lasted for a few seconds, but as soon as we pulled apart, I saw the shock etched onto my friends' faces. "Hold on a minute. My partner, the guy I've been working with for like 2 years now, is the mysterious man you've been dating for 8 months?"
"Surprise," I chirp and lean back against Jay's chest.
"I don't even know what to say," Kim confessed. "How did we not know the two of you were together?"
"We're just great at hiding it," Jay answered and gave my hand a small squeeze. "I'm gonna find the guys, okay? It's only fair that they know now too."
"Okay. We'll be over there in a few minutes," I say. Jay nodded and pecked my lips quickly before heading off to find Kevin and Adam amongst the crowd.
"So? What do you guys think?" I ask.
Hailey smiled. "You guys seem happy together, so I'm happy for you. Even if you did hide this from us for months.
"Yeah," Kim agreed. "We're just glad that you're happy."
"You guys are the best," I exclaim and finish the rest of my beer. "All right, next drinks are on me. It's the least I can do for making you two wait this long to find out who my boyfriend is. But, Hailey, I think the real question here is, 'What's going on between Kim and Adam?'"
Kim's face flushed a deep shade of red, and she gulped down the last of her beer. "Herrmann, we need some more drinks over here!"
"Oh, you're not getting away that easy. Y/N and I will hound you until you tell us everything," Hailey claimed. "But you're lucky that we just found out about Y/N and Jay, because right now, that's all I want to hear about. So Y/N, tell us everything."
I let out a mix between a sigh and a groan. "Okay. I guess we'll start out with our first kiss."
________________________
Tag List:
@prettypyschoinpink @securityfriendly-jay @scarletsoldierrr @lorenakaspersen @virtualreader @carnationworld @caitsymichelle13​ @dreamingmanip @campingmonkey @winterberryfox @nevertoofarfromivar @anotherfan07 @giagma @mrspeacem1nusone​ @i-like-sparkly-things​
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miyagihawk · 4 years
Text
why’d you only call me when you’re high? pt. 2 | eli “hawk” moskowitz x reader
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part one
here’s part 2 by popular demand! based off the arctic monkeys song and amazing request by @deadbeatharlz <3 thank you guys for the support on part 1 im so happy you liked it :)
warnings: self harming behavior, LOTS of swearing, alcohol and drug abuse, sooo so angstyyyy buckle up
summary: it’s been 3 months since your last night with hawk, and you haven’t been yourself.
word count: 3,062
The past 3 months have been rough. Maybe the worst you’ve ever been. You fell into the deep hole that you dug yourself. The hole of loving Hawk Moskowitz.
You never thought you’d be one of those people who let unrequited love devastate their whole being. In fact you always thought the whole heartbreak thing was pathetic and melodramatic. Until it happened to you.
You hate yourself for letting him have this effect on you. But there’s a pestering voice in the back of your mind that reminds you: it’s all your fault. He didn’t ask you to love him. It’s just easier to blame him for your downfall.
Parties, drugs, alcohol. Sex with people you don’t even know. High on the same drug that compelled him to call you in the night.
You’ve become so desperate to forget him that you ruined yourself. It hurts your pride to be the whiny heartbroken girl who let a stupid boy’s rejection shatter her self worth. But the hole is too deep and there’s no hope trying to grasp onto the dirt walls to get out.
The worst part of it is that he sees it all. At school, (if you even go) he looks at you like the scum of the earth as he passes by with his little karate gang. When you end up at the same party, he’ll have a disgusted expression on his face and leave as if he can’t bare to look at you. 
Tonight is one of those nights, and you watch him from across the backyard as he goofs around with his friends. He hasn’t noticed you yet, hence why he’s even still here and not on his way out the door to get away from you.
“If you stare at him any longer, I think he’ll shoot up into flames,” your best friend Robby hands you a cup, and you don’t hesitate before downing its unknown contents. The burn in your throat makes you hum with content.
“That’s the plan,” you take your eyes of off Hawk to look at Robby. You gesture to his own cup in his hand, “Are you gonna drink that?”
“Easy there, Y/N. We got here 5 minutes ago,” he warns, but holds out the drink towards you anyway. Robby’s always been worried about you and your habits, but he knows how you can be when you’re told no.
You swallow down the drink in a few seconds, ignoring his remark. “5 minutes? I can beat my record!” you cheer sarcastically, and start walking to the kitchen in search of a keg. Robby follows closely behind you, a wary look on his face.
The fuzzy feeling starts to take over your body as you throw back drink after drink. It’s the buzz you crave every second of every day because it just makes you feel so good. Everything is happier and your cares feel so far away. Hawk feels so far away.
You sit on the couch next to Robby in your dazed trance, drunkenly rambling to him about random things. He glares at anyone who comes near you and looks like they would take advantage of you in your state.
Robby really hates you like this, but he can’t help but feel protective over you. He’s not even a fan of parties; he really only goes to keep an eye on you. You’re grateful even though you act like you hate it when he babysits you.
“Heyyy pretty Y/N! Want some?” Yasmine approaches where you sit, a joint held between her fingers. Her eyes are drooped and she sways as she stands.
You reach out to take the blunt, but you feel Robby push your arm down. “You’re already drunk. That’s enough,” he says sternly, making you roll your eyes.
“I can do what I want, Dad,” you taunt, and take the joint from Yasmine. Smoke fills up your lungs, immediately giving you pleasure. Robby just shakes his head in disapproval as the air around him becomes hazy.
“I’m going to the bathroom. Stay here,” he orders, getting up from the couch.
You nod, but of course, you don’t listen. The sound of splashing from outside sets off a lightbulb above your head and you feel like you’re floating while you walk to the backyard.
Right as you step out of the house, you make eye contact with none other than Hawk. He gives you a distasteful look like always, before turning back to his group. Asshole.
You just scoff and stumble towards the pool, where a couple is making out and a few people are drunkenly playing with the water like little kids.
Reaching the edge of the pool’s rim, you let yourself fall in with a splash. You feel the pressure in your ears start to build as you sink to the bottom. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re cross faded, but being underwater feels like a world of bliss.
The loud music of the party is muted, creating a sense of serenity. The legs of the other people in the pool make you laugh to yourself, sending bubbles from your mouth to the surface. It’s glittery and pretty and you want to stay forever.
You don’t know how long you’re under there for, but you don’t notice your lungs running out of air. It just feels good to be alone for a second. Next thing you know, you feel your eyes start to droop closed; a strange peace overcoming your body.
A loud thrashing noise in the water makes you wake up with a gasp. You swallow too much water as you feel someone grab hold of your arm. It’s all a blur and you’re being pulled up to the surface, taking you away from the tranquil world you were just in.
The music is pounds against your ears again and the air is cold on your skin. You feel your body being laid down on the concrete of the poolside, but everything feels numb. You just feel sleepy and you want to close your eyes again.
“Y/N, hey, wake up. Wake up,” a voice makes your eyes shoot back open. Someone is looking down at you, with a hand shaking your shoulder. Your vision is somewhat blurry, but the mohawk gives it away. It’s him.
You suddenly become aware of the large amount of water in your lungs and you turn over to your side to cough it up. After you get it all out, you notice the people at the party looking at you with eyes of pity mixed with judgement.
“What the fuck were you doing? You could’ve died, are you fucking stupid?” Hawk curses, but even in your inebriated state you can hear a hint of worry in his voice.
You sit up to face him. He looks angry; his clothes and hair are as wet as yours.
Maybe it’s the lack of oxygen in your brain, or maybe it’s the marijuana and alcohol, but you just feel the urge to laugh. So you do. Like a complete maniac. The way he probably just saved your life like he cares is sickly comedic to you.
His face twists in confusion as you break out into a fit of giggles. “Are you serious? You’re fucking insane, Y/N,” he gets up, shaking his head at you. He gives a glare to the people staring, and they look away in fear.
You think he’s going to leave like usual, but he surprises you by grabbing your arm to pull you up. People whisper amongst themselves as he drags you through the backyard, going through a gate that leads to front of the house. You trip over your own feet, still feeling dizzy from almost drowning, but he just pulls you along.
“What are you doing?” you ask, tugging on your arm to try and release it from the tight grip he has on you. You’re both dripping chlorinated water, leaving a track of drops on the concrete below.
“You’re going home Y/N,” he says sternly. You two arrive at his car and he opens the passenger door. “Get in.”
“Hey!” a voice yells from the house and you both turn to see Robby rushing towards the car. He looks pissed, and now you remember him telling you to stay put. Shit.
“Robby I-”
“Don’t get in there with him Y/N,” he says, sending a death stare to the boy next to you.
“I’m taking her home, Keene, so back the fuck off. Get in Y/N,” Hawk snaps, clenching his fists.
You keep quiet, not wanting to add to the fire already starting. They loathe each other; if not because of the karate rivalry, then because of you. To Robby, Hawk broke your heart and made you spiral. To Hawk, Robby is the piece of shit who he thinks is your boyfriend, and he won’t admit it but he’s jealous.
“You’re not driving her, asshole. You’re probably as drunk as her,” Robby reaches to take your arm, but Hawk pulls you back.
“You don’t know shit about me, Keene. I’ve been sober for three months, so yeah, I will drive her,” Hawk picks you up like you’re a doll, placing you in the passenger seat and closing the door. You don’t resist, you just feel tired and your head starts to pound as if the mix of drugs in your system are punishing you. The window’s down, so you can still hear the two boys loud and clear.
I’ve been sober for three months, his voice echoes in your head.
“Oh so now you care so much about her? It’s your fault she’s like this!” Robby raises his voice even more, starting to move towards Hawk threateningly. You begin to feel scared that a physical fight might actually break out, but you don’t know what to do.
“I’m not the one who almost let her die a few minutes ago, am I? Just fuck off, we’re leaving,” Hawk dismisses him, walking around the car to the driver’s seat. You’re surprised by his self control to not throw a punch, especially with his reputation.
“Robby, it’s okay. I just want to go home. I’ll call you, alright?” you reach your hand out of the window in reassurance and he takes hold of it. Hawk clenches his jaw as he turns on the engine.
“Promise you’ll be careful? I’m sorry I left you,” Robby furrows his eyebrows in worry. When he came out of the bathroom, someone filled him in on what happened to you and he almost had a heart attack.
“Promise. And it’s my fault,” you hook your pinky with his, before the car pulls out of the curb and separates you from your best friend. He watches you guys drive away, an anxious expression etched on his face.
The whole situation has sobered you up pretty well, and now you’re left with a throbbing headache, wet clothes, and awkward tension. You hate it. Being sober. You miss the foggy feeling that prevents you from thinking too hard about things. But now you’re inches away from the boy who broke your heart, all by choice.
You don’t know why you agreed to go with him, but did you even have a choice? You’re confused by his actions. He acts like he hates you but he jumps in a pool for you. He yelled at you but he’s driving you home. It all makes you overthink and it causes your head to ache even more.
You hold your head in your hands to try and ease the pain as Hawk drives quietly.
“You good?” he breaks the silence. His voice is softer compared to how he talked to Robby minutes ago.
“Head hurts,” you mumble.
“What were you doing back there? If I didn’t get you out, you’d probably be in the hospital right now,” he says. You peek at him through your hands and his eyes are on the road.
“I don’t know,” you sigh. “It was just peaceful. I didn’t really even think about breathing.”
He scoffs. “Well that’s just fucking stupid. You’re lucky I noticed you were under for so long.”
“Well thanks,” you reply quietly, feeling like a little kid being scolded.
There’s a couple beats of silence before he speaks, “What happened to you?”
The question makes you sit up and look over at him. “What are you talking about?”
“The old Y/N wouldn’t even touch a drink. You’re different,” Hawk taps his finger on the wheel in thought. His icy blue eyes quickly glance at your confused look before returning to the road.
“You happened, Hawk.” You pinch your temples in frustration. Anger starts to bubble up in your stomach at his criticism. At the mention of “old you”.
“I didn’t do this to you,” he shakes his head, as if trying to convince himself of his own words.
“You did,” you raise your voice, making him flinch. “You know it.”
“What, because I stopped sleeping with you? I didn’t make you fall in love with me, Y/N. You did that to yourself,” he spits, sending a knife to your heart and making you see red.
“You knew I loved you way before I said it. But you still stringed me along, didn’t you? You knew I would pick up everytime you called. You knew that I would let you into my bed because I was the girl who loved you no matter how fucking shitty you were!” you fire back, vomiting out words that you’ve wanted to say for months. The alcohol in your system makes you bolder than usual, but you’re grateful for it.
He’s at a loss for words at your outburst so you continue, “I didn’t ask for this Hawk. Loving you. I’m sorry that I’m such a burden and that you hate me so much that you can’t stand being in the same room as me. But please just answer me this and I’ll leave you alone forever. I’ll leave when we show up at the same party and I’ll even hide in the halls so you don’t have to see my face.”
You pause, choking on your words. You didn’t even realize that the car is already parked in front of your house and your clothes are halfway dry.
“Why don’t you love me?” your voice cracks as you spit out the question that has caused you to throw yourself away. The question with an answer that could dissipate your self worth in a mere moment.
Hawk finally looks into your glassy eyes with shock. He could’ve never anticipated what you asked him and his mouth runs dry.
“I told you, I- I don’t deserve someone like you loving me,” he swallows, but you shake your head.
“That’s not what I asked.”
He blinks slowly, trying to come up with an excuse. Any excuse, to avoid telling you the truth. You can see the inner conflict on his face, the panicked speed of his running thoughts.
“You should go home, Y/N,” he deflects, turning away from you. Putting on his mask to keep you from reading him like a book.
“I’m not going until you tell me,” you demand.
“Just get out of the car, fuck!” Hawk yells, slamming his hands down on the steering wheel. It makes you jump a little, but you’re too angry to fear the flames in his eyes.
“Why can’t you just tell me!” you fire back. “You came to me almost every night, so why do I feel something that you don’t? Is it me? Is there something wrong with me?”
“What do you want me to fucking say Y/N! That I do love you? Fucking fine. I love you. Is that what you wanted to hear? Just get out.”
I love you.
The same words you said that made him leave.
“You don’t even mean that,” you blink back your tears.
His voice is softer now, more gentle. “If I didn’t mean it then I wouldn’t have said it.”
“You said you needed me and then you left me,” your voice shakes and you hate how pathetic you sound.
“I-I didn’t leave you,” he stammers before taking a deep breath. “I left because you wanted something more than I could give you. I would’ve felt like a selfish asshole if we became more than just sex, Y/N. You deserve someone like Keene and yeah he’s a pussy but he’s good. Better than me.”
It feels like every piece in the puzzle is being put together. Everything makes sense. He does love you, but he was just afraid. He can’t be near you because it hurts too much to see someone he can’t have. Somehow, you can’t find the anger you’ve held against him for these past months; you just understand him now.
“I’m sorry, alright? For everything. For treating your feelings like shit. All of it.”
You swallow, thinking about his words. It all feels too much and the truth is now looking you in the eye, demanding an answer. You love him, but he dropped your heart on the floor for you to pick up every shard. Is one sorry going to magically fix everything?
“I- I don’t know what to say,” you admit, and he nods in understanding.
“You don’t have to say anything. Let’s just... move on. And you get better... I hate seeing you like this,” Hawk scans your red eyes and dilated pupils. “We’ll get to a better place and you and me, we’ll be good.”
It’s bittersweet, but he’s right. Being together now just because he loves you back would be a huge jump that would only end in broken hearts and toxic cycles. It would be foolish. As much as you want him, the only person who can fix you is yourself.
So it’s a meet up at the top of the mountain, when you’ve both made the journey from opposite sides.
“A better place,” you reiterate, before placing a light kiss to his cheek and leaving the car with a new sense of closure.
a/n: that was longer than i planned and a freaking roller coaster!!!!!!! im not sure if there should be a part 3? lmk what you think maybe it’ll just be short. but hehe i added robby into the mix he was so cute. ty for reading!
taglist for people who wanted part 2 :) ty friends for the support <3 @littlered6307 @deadbeatharlz @spiderman-berries @axastasiasstuff @r0-xie @estupidteen @hawkwhore @idkwhatishouldput4
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seriouslysnape · 4 years
Note
Hi!❣️ Your writing is pretty cool, and I love the way you portray Sev, especially!
If it isn't a bother, of course... Could I make a request? Where Snape and the Reader are expecting, and go through all the nine months (like, through things like cravings, mood swings Snaddy has to endure, buying the child's stuff and decorating the room, all of that), till delivery? Only if you'd like the 'prompt', of course.
Wish you a nice day☺️
I LOVE THISSSSSS. YES DAD SEV >>>
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Paternal Figure
Severus Snape x Fem. Reader
Warnings: Language, Emetephobia, Sexual implications.
Word Count: 5,161
“We’re going to be one happy family.”
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“How much longer?” Severus questioned, eyeing the pregnancy test that was lying face down on the bathroom counter.
You looked at your wrist watch that was secured on your trembling hand. You saw that it had been more than enough time for the pregnancy test to do its job. A quivering sigh flowed from your chest as you reached for the test with trembling fingers.
“It should be ready.” You replied.
Severus sat up straighter from where he sat on the bathroom floor, his blood pumping with eagerness and nervousness. You held the test to your chest for a second with your eyes closed and head lulled towards the ceiling.
You and Severus wanted a baby badly. After being married for a few years, the baby fever was becoming harder to resist between the two of you combined. It started out as a casual thing. Severus first briefly mentioned how there was still an empty room in the house that needed to be occupied. You assumed that he meant as an office space or maybe even a large walk in closet.
But when Severus suggested that the two of you turn that space into a nursery, you knew what he was implying. You had always wanted to have kids with Sev. In the beginning, Severus wasn’t totally sure how he felt about having a baby. He wasn’t great with younger people, and he was always afraid he wouldn’t be a good dad.
However, the longer the two of you were together and the more life you shared together, the more he wanted nothing more than to put a baby in you. He wanted to raise a child and teach it all the wonders of the wizarding world. He wanted your baby to be perfect.
The two of you sat and chatted for a long time about it, not wanting to rush into things. It was a huge deal after all; bringing a human into the world was a life changing ordeal. You talked it over, and you both happily agreed that you would start trying for a baby.
You admittedly became a little obsessed with getting pregnant in the first few months. You tracked your menstrual and ovulation cycles much more than usual, eventually memorizing everything down to the minute. You tried any wizard (and even a few Muggle) tricks in the book to increase your chances of conceiving, including basically pouncing on Severus any chance he was around.
If you had a free minute to spare, you were shoving him into bed and having sex with him. At first, Severus found it rather endearing that you were so excited to have a kid, but he became concerned as time went on. Getting pregnant isn’t always a quick process. Some women can so much as look at their husband and get results while some spend a better half of their life trying to even get a positive pregnancy test.
You were proving to be one of the harder cases.
With each negative pregnancy test, the more frantic you became. You felt like your fertility window was closing in on you rapidly, and if you didn’t get pregnant soon, it’d be too late. The first few negatives didn’t phase you much, but by the fifth or sixth, you were feeling discouraged. Severus was much more patient than you during all of this, holding you flush to him when you burst into tears of frustration.
It had become a monotonous and vicious cycle. You’d try to get pregnant, buy a pregnancy test, get a negative result, and fall into a weeping heap onto the bathroom floor. After one particularly hard let down, Severus stepped in. He was rocking your sobbing frame in his arms, hushing you and comforting you as best he could.
He suggested that the two of you take a break for a while, and that maybe you were trying too hard. The stress couldn’t have been good for you as a whole, and maybe taking a more casual approach would be best.
“Here’s what I’m thinking, my love. You and I take this step by step. We continue life as normal,” He said softly; “If you get pregnant then that’s good, and if you don’t, then we remain calm and try again. If much longer goes by, then we can go see your doctor.”
You nodded into his chest with heartbreaking sobs, agreeing that this had taken a huge toll on your body. You apologized for your crazy behavior, but Severus only gave a light laugh and kissed your head.
“No, no, my dear. Don’t be sorry. I want this just as much as you do.” He consoled, sweeping you off of the floor.
You were a bit apprehensive about Severus’ approach to this, but you were willing to try anything. Fast forward a few weeks later, and this was the first test you had taken since taking Severus’ advice.
“Sev...” You croaked out; “What if it’s negative?”
You were sitting against the door in your tiny bathroom, Severus sitting on the wall across from you. Your knees were almost touching one another’s as he replied.
“Then we accept it, take a few days, and try again. It’ll be alright, [Y/N].” He reassured, resting a hand on your knee in a loving way.
You exhaled deeply, already half expecting to be disappointed. You nodded, and quickly flipped the test so you could read it. Your heart hit your feet and bounced back into your ribcage at the sight. You were stoically silent as you stared in silence at the test.
Severus was watching with a clenched jaw, prepared to comfort you in case it wasn’t what you wanted to see. You kept looking at it for a few more seconds to make sure you weren’t dreaming. The double pink lines were as clear as day.
You were pregnant.
Tears filled your eyes, but they were tears of happiness. You turned the test so he could see it.
“It’s positive,” You said, smiling through the tears streaming your face; “We’re going to have a baby.”
Severus’ jaw fell open and stars of delight shot over his eyes. He himself gazed down at the test as if it would explode right in his hands.
“You’re pregnant...” He breathed out.
You nodded, wiping away at the tears with a genuine laugh. A blinding smile appeared on Severus’ face as he moved to pull you into a tight embrace. A few tears leaked from his eyes as well, the two of you mumbling “I love yous” to each other as you cried out the adrenaline and undeniably glee that you were feeling. It had almost been a year since you started trying, and now it seemed that it had paid off.
You were going to be parents.
__
The first trimester of your pregnancy was less than pleasant. While you were eternally grateful to be carrying your first child, you weren’t too thrilled about the symptoms that came with it. You were violently sick for the first few weeks, basically bringing back up anything you tried to hold down. Even something as mild as pumpkin juice was enough to make you sick just from the smell.
As disgusting as it was, Severus was by your side any time you fell ill.
“It’s okay, darling. Let it all out.” He soothed, rubbing circles onto your back as you let out another hurl.
You seemingly puked up everything you had eaten in the last ten years into the toilet bowl, a new groan escaping your chest every time you had a chance to take a breath. Severus kept your hair out of your face as best as he could, trying not to visibly grimace every time you threw up.
You closed the lid of the toilet for a minute, draping your arm over the top of it and resting your forehead on the heated skin of your forearm.
“Don’t look at me. I don’t want you to see me like this.” You grumbled miserably.
He gave a chuckle, and even though you couldn’t see it, he raised his left hand to reveal his silver wedding ring.
“In sickness and in health.” He said, wrapping his long legs around your from behind, resting his head on your back.
“I think this is an exception to that vow.” You joked, hoping that the relief you were feeling was to signal the end of today’s sickness.
Severus hummed.
“I think that this is exactly what it was referring to,” He corrected, his heart fluttering when you lifted your head with a weak smile; “Just as beautiful as ever.”
You snorted at that, but you were heartwarmed.
“How did I ever deserve you?” You asked, falling into his open arms.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
When you were actually able to have an appetite, you wanted any and every food imaginable. The pregnancy cravings were insanely hard to ignore, and it was even harder to ignore the weird things you craved.
“What...is that?” Severus questioned cautiously as he entered the kitchen, catching you in the middle of biting something he couldn’t even discern.
You looked at him with wide eyes and stopped mid-chomp. You didn’t respond, not even sure how to explain this to him. His gaze averted to the open pantry, and saw that mostly everything had been raided and placed on the kitchen counter. He had noticed that satisfying your cravings had proven to be the most difficult thus far. He inspected the food item in your hand and his stomach lurched when he realized what it was.
“Is that a treacle tart with...” He trailed off, barely able to finish the thought.
You finished his sentence, rather ashamed.
“...pickles.” You confessed.
Severus was sure that his face had turned a nasty shade of green at the thought of your concoction. He shuddered and made you put it down. You had always been creative and experimental in the kitchen, but this was too far.
“Okay, I’ve been supportive of every strange food combination you’ve come up with, but I draw the line at treacle pickle tarts.” He said with a voice full of amusement.
You whined.
“I know it’s weird, but I can’t help it. Everything we have sounds good.”
He scratched the back of his head. He never liked to tell you how to live your life, but there was no way that this was good for you or the baby.
“I don’t think Little One is going to appreciate pickles and desserts.” He noted, placing a hand on your very small baby bump.
“Little One” was the nickname that he had coined for your developing child. You and Severus had decided early on that you wanted to keep the baby’s gender a surprise up until delivery. Severus hated to keep referring to the baby as...well, “the baby”. So he had instinctively come up with all kinds of nicknames along the way.
“Well, I’m pretty sure that Little One is the only reason I want pickles.” You snapped back.
“It’s not the pickles. It’s the pickles with the tart that I can’t stomach.” Severus explained.
You sneered at him, but Severus continued before you could snark back at him.
“I’ll tell you what, princess. How about we whip up a bunch of your favorite foods, and we’ll have a nice dinner together?” He offered.
Your belly grumbled at the sound of that. You nodded in agreement, and you and Severus prepared a heavenly meal.
On top of the all day morning sickness and the nauseating cravings, your hormones were going absolutely nuts. You had never experienced such frequent mood changes like this, and poor Severus was the victim of all your emotional outbursts. It seemed as if you were blowing up at the smallest of details.
“Damn it, Sev. How many times have I told you not to leave your socks on the floor?” You hissed, angrily picking up his dirty socks.
Severus poked his head out of the bathroom that was adjoined to your bedroom, a guilty look on his face.
“Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I left them there.” He said truthfully.
“Just like how you didn’t realize that you left the sink faucet dripping or how you forgot to put the pillows back on the bed when you got up at 10 in the morning?” You mocked, throwing his socks into his laundry basket.
He caught how aggravated you were, and exited the bathroom to talk things over. Severus didn’t want you to be upset with him, but he knew you were just going through a lot of changes and couldn’t really control your emotions well.
“I assure you that I didn’t do those things on purpose,” He said, not even an ounce of irritation in his voice; “I’ll pick up after myself.”
His light and friendly tone made you realize that you had overreacted once again. Severus had not once lost his temper with you, no matter how bad you had nagged him. Your shoulders slumped and you looked at your feet that were close to being covered by your steadily growing bump.
You felt bad for being on his ass about something 24/7. He was trying his best to help you and make your pregnancy as comfortable as possible. You yelling at him all the time wasn’t fair to him.
“I’m sorry, Sev. It’s not you.” You uttered for the hundredth time in the last three months.
He only smiled and pressed a kiss to your forehead.
“Not to worry, my dear,” He mewled; “I can handle being screamed at for as long as it takes.”
__
The second trimester was actually easier than the first as far as symptoms goes. Your morning sickness had subsided, you had adapted to your ever changing hormones, and you weren’t tempted to eat everything in sight. While the symptoms were still there, they didn’t completely dictate your life.
You and Severus were well into the finer intricacies of planning for the arrival of your baby boy or girl. You were in the process of converting your extra bedroom into a nursery, which was a challenge for Severus. He was a shitty interior decorator, which wouldn’t be an issue if he hadn’t insisted that he decorate the baby’s room.
Severus wanted to be as involved as possible, never wanting you to think that he wasn’t there for you. You were ecstatic with the idea of him taking charge of the nursery, but you soon realized that wasn’t a good idea.
“We are not painting the baby’s room BLACK, Severus.” You protested, eyeing the cans of black paint on the floor.
Severus had gone out and bought all kinds of paint supplies. Paintbrushes, paint rollers, stencils, tape, etc. He was adamant about doing it all by hand (as opposed to using magic; a suggestion that he was horribly offended at), and had taken it upon himself to buy everything.
You had forgotten that there wasn’t much color interest in the world of Severus Snape.
“And why not? There’s black in other parts of the house.” He argued.
You put your hands on your hips, your back beginning to arch from the weight of your five month swelling belly.
“Yes, but this is a baby’s room. I don’t think he or she is going to like it,” You retorted back; “It’ll be too dark and...scary. I want Little One to be comfortable in here.”
Severus looked around. Perhaps, black was too extreme for such a small human. He looked a tad defeated and disappointed in himself. He was trying his hardest. You caught his dejected look.
“Oh, honey. I know you want it to be perfect,” You said, taking his face into your hands; “We can do it together. Maybe we can sneak a bit of black in here somewhere.”
He nodded.
“So, what color should we paint the room?” He asked.
You looked around this time, biting your lower lip in thought. You wanted to have gender neutral colors, and something that would be cozy for the baby.
“How about we paint the walls white? That way we can add pops of color wherever we see fit.” You said after a moment of thought.
Severus agreed, but was holding to your promise to have at least some black in the room. The nursery was an ongoing project, lasting about a week and a half. The crib was the last item placed in the room, and it was complete. You and Severus stood in the middle, basking in the finished nursery.
“It looks great, S.” You said, looking at the black painted changing table and the mobile above the crib.
“It does. I’m glad you helped me.” He admitted, eyeing the moving pictures on the walls.
You wrapped your arms around your husband’s waist, his lips falling to your head in response.
“We’re going to be one happy family.” You announced.
Severus laughed into your hair, his heart beating with hope.
“We already are.”
You had officially made it past the halfway mark, and your due date was quickly approaching. There was still so much to do, and not a lot of time to do it. Your bump was already huge, and you still had another trimester to go. You were getting to the point where swollen feet and an aching lower back was crippling your ability to go out and do much.
You were laid out on the sofa with Severus rubbing your tired feet. You were fighting the aching pain in your back and legs from the unevenly distributed weight from your midsection.
“I really need to go out today.” You winced as another round of soreness flooded your body.
Severus’ careful hands continued to massage the aching muscles of your feet.
“Why, love? You can surely go on a day where you’re feeling in higher spirits.” He said.
While he wasn’t totally wrong, you were at the point where every day was the same as the last. You had a feeling that you wouldn’t have a “higher spirits” day for a while.
“I suppose I could. But I need to get baby clothes, pacifiers, bottles.” You grunted, exhaling heavily.
You really needed to do this, but you just weren’t feeling up to it. Then you had an idea. Since Severus didn’t get to put all his effort into the nursery, you thought you could give him a second chance.
“Severus, could you possibly go out and buy baby stuff today?” You suddenly asked.
You were honestly expecting him to say no, considering he knew nothing about baby fashion. Instead, his face brightened and he leapt up from the couch.
“Of course! Why didn’t you just ask?” He queried, giddy with joy.
You laughed at his anticipation, giving him a few instructions.
“Alright, Sev. Don’t buy anything ridiculous or anything that’s made of uncomfortable material,” You said; “And do NOT get anything Slytherin related. As much as you would like it, we have no clue what Little One is going to be sorted into when he or she is old enough.”
Severus groaned.
“Not even a-”
“No Slytherin stuff.”
“Well, what about a-”
“No, Severus.”
He groaned again, but accepted your request. As badly as he wanted his daughter or son to be a Slytherin, there was always the chance that they wouldn’t be. He’d love them regardless of what House they were in, but it would tickle him to death if they were a Slytherin.
So Severus went out into Diagon Alley with extra pep in his step, jittery as he went from store to store getting stuff for his little girl or boy. Severus had never paid much attention to baby clothes, and now that he was looking, his heart was swelling with excitement.
There were so many cute sweaters, onesies, socks, and pajama sets that absolutely made Severus burst with joy. He would pick out about a dozen outfits to start out with, knowing that you’d have to go buy more once the baby was older. But each time he thought he had enough, he’d spot two or three more outfits that he just had to buy.
He could not WAIT to see his baby in all of this stuff. It had obviously been a while since he was a child, and he was amazed at all of the new things that had been invented to make parenting easier and childhood more fun.
He bought a pacifier for every day of the week, and enough toys that would last your kid through kindergarten. He bought blankets and stuffed animals and anything else that a baby MIGHT want. Your baby was going to be spoiled to the max.
Truth be told, Severus went a little overboard with his purchases. He came back with no less than ten bags full of baby materials. You not-so-gracefully lifted yourself from the couch when he entered, several bags hooked onto each of his arms. He had a proud smile plastered on his face.
“Oh Merlin, Severus! What all did you buy??” You questioned, eyes bugging out at all the goodies in front of you.
“Clothes, pacifiers, bottles. Everything you asked for.” Severus stated innocently, you rifled through the bags at all the baby wonders.
“And toys, blankets, and stuffed animals.” You finished his list.
You looked at Severus with an entertained smile, his cheeks glowing red.
“I just want Little One to be happy.” He shrugged meekly.
You let out a soft “awh” and captured his soft lips in a sweet kiss. He already loved this baby so much that it melted your heart.
“With you as their dad, they absolutely will be.”
__
You had never been happier to enter your third and final trimester. You were in the home stretch, and you were so excited to meet your baby. You were about to pop like a balloon and, quite frankly, you had enough of it. Don’t make any mistake about it, you had cherished every moment of being pregnant, but you were ready to get some somewhat decent sleep without being kicked in the ribs every 5 minutes.
Although, with a newborn around, you weren’t sure how much sleep you would get.
Over the course of your pregnancy, Severus had become more and more protective the more your baby grew. Now that your due date was only a few days out, he jumped at any sudden movement or noise. He had eyes and ears like a hawk. He came barreling into the living room, completely naked and dripping with water from where he had just stepped into the shower.
“Darling, what was that? Are you alright?” He asked frantically as if he had just heard an airstrike.
You looked up from your book, readjusting the pillow that was underneath your massive belly to support the weight.
“Severus. I sneezed.” You declared.
Relief washed over him, and he ran a hand through his damp hair.
“Oh. Do you need anything?” He asked you for the millionth time that evening.
You laughed shortly, nodding your head.
“Yes. I’m fine,” You said; “Please try to enjoy your shower.”
Severus had been on your tail nonstop for the last three weeks. Even though most pregnancies go the full 40 weeks, your doctor said that labor could be expected once you hit 36. Sev didn’t want you out of his sights in case you went into labor early. He didn’t want to miss anything.
You had begged him to break away just for a minute, for his sake and yours. He padded back to the shower, ignoring the way his heart was thumping in his chest. You went back to your book, grinning to yourself at your anxious husband.
Once Severus was showered and somewhat calmer, you had grown tired and were ready to get in bed. Growing and carrying a baby had really tanked your energy levels, but Severus didn’t mind going to bed early. As long as he knew you and the baby were safe, he was content.
He laughed out loud when you slid into bed wearing only a pair of panties and a t-shirt that you had used a spell to stretch out. It was the only sleepwear that fit you due to your risen belly.
Getting comfortable was next to impossible, but you had gotten used to it over the last few months. You didn’t mind, because you knew it’d be back to normal soon. Severus was eyeing your tummy, looking to you with expectation once you were settled.
“Go ahead, Sev.” You giggled, knowing what he wanted.
Every single night since you had been pregnant, Severus would rub your belly and tell the human growing inside of you goodnight. Severus shimmied down to where his face was in front of your bump. He lifted the shirt up to reveal your bare belly. He left a kiss on the stretched skin, carefully placing both of his hands on you.
“Hello in there,” Severus said, smiling proudly when he felt the baby move at the sound of his voice; “Are you still kicking your mother?”
You even nodded at that, thinking about all the times that the baby had soccer kicked your ribcage or hit your bladder just right. You placed one hand over one of Severus’, and put your other in his hair as he spoke.
“I’m so ready to meet you. I love you so much already. Other than Mum, I never thought I could ever love someone this much,” Severus spoke gently; “You two are my whole world.”
You rubbed his hair as you listened. Severus had been nothing short of amazing during this process. He was more than you could ever ask for. This baby was going to be loved endlessly.
“I don’t know how great of a father I’ll be. I didn’t exactly have ideal parents. I admit that I don’t have a model to go off of. But I will love you no matter what,” He spoke; “I hope you sleep well, Little One. I can’t wait to see you.”
He pressed another kiss to the side of your belly, before returning to your side. You were misty eyed at his words, turning so you were facing him.
“Oh, Severus. You’re going to be a wonderful dad. I’ve seen the way you love this child,” You assured; “Little One is going to love you. And there’s no one else I’d rather bring a baby into this world with.”
Severus still had a modest amount of nerves, but it was drowned out with joy. He was so ready for this baby.
“I love you.” He whispered.
“I love you, Sev.” You whispered back.
You leaned to kiss him, but just as your lips touched, you felt a contraction and a massive gush of fluid flushed out between your legs, soaking both of your lower halves. A startled gasp fell from your mouth, and Severus eyes grew about three times their normal size. You both knew what that meant.
Little One was about to make his/her entrance into the world.
__
Getting to the hospital from the time that labor began was a blind rush. Severus was positively panicked, which didn’t help your attempts to remain relaxed. He had spent 9 months preparing for this moment, and he was still caught off guard.
The hospital was busy, but you had a team of nurses and doctors ready to go. You were wheeled into a delivery room, your doctor checking to see how dilated you were. He let you know that you had one of the fastest dilations he had ever seen, because you were already at 10 centimeters. There was no time for an epidural or a spell.
It was time to push.
The nurses got your legs into delivery position, Severus taking your hand as the doctor and nurses guided you through it. You gave a hard push, screaming bloody murder and squeezing the circulation out of Severus’ hand.
“You’re doing great, my love. Keep pushing.” He praised you.
Your head fell back onto the pillow with gruff, heavy breaths. You were filled with a pain you couldn’t describe. You needed this baby out. The doctor gave you a second to rest, before instructing you to push again. You took a deep breath, every muscle in your body tensing up as you pushed. Severus scrunched his nose at how badly you were hurting his hand, but he didn’t dare say anything.
The baby’s head and shoulders were out, ear splitting cries echoing through the room. It was the most beautiful sound you had ever heard. Severus peeked between your legs, and you saw the way his face filled with pure love as he saw your baby for the first time.
“Oh, [Y/N]. Little One is gorgeous...” He breathed, wanting you to push again so you could be able to see; “Push again, darling. You’re almost there.”
The nurses and Severus were encouraging you as you pushed hard a few more times, your baby finally entering into the world. Severus was a little too squeamish to cut the cord, but he watched every single movement as the doctors and nurses cut the umbilical cord and got them cleaned up. You were breathing heavily, your entire body shaking from the strenuous action. You whimpered out to Severus, who had a better viewpoint than you did.
“Is the baby okay? Please tell me the baby’s okay...” You whined out, desperate to see him/her.
Severus was close to crying, but it was the happiest he had been in his entire life.
“The baby is perfect. You did so well, my love.” He said, kissing your sweaty forehead.
The chaos in the room died down, and one of the nurses had swaddled the crying baby. She gave a huge, kind smile and set the baby in your arms.
“Say hello to your baby girl.” She cooed.
Tears fell from your eyes as she was placed into your arms. Her cries dwindled out at the feeling and sound of your and Severus’ voices. She was the most stunning baby you had ever seen. Severus felt something awaken in him. A side of him that had been itching to come out.
“A girl...oh, a girl.” You cried happily.
Severus sniffed, holding back tears.
“She’s beautiful. She’s perfect.” Sev croaked.
He placed a kiss on her forehead, her small baby whimpers making his heart explode. The two of you sat in silence, raking over your baby’s perfection. After a minute, you looked up at Severus with a smile.
“I just thought of something we have to do.” You said.
Panic flashed over his face again. You had done everything he thought. What could there possible be to do?
“What is that, darling?” He acquired.
You giggled, kissing Severus’ cheek.
“We’ve got to pick a name for her.”
557 notes · View notes
hangovercurse · 4 years
Text
Teeny Tiny Secret
After months of trying, you and Colson finally get those two pink lines… the day before tour starts.
Request: “I know that requests are closed, but I HAD to share this before it left my mind. When you have an opportunity, could you please write a story where y/n is in super early (not showing or anything) stages of pregnancy and on tour with mgk. She & Colson make a plan to keep it from the bandmates for now. It becomes difficult when he becomes super over protective (not letting her carry anything, not wanting the guys to crowd her), unconsciously put his hand on her stomach, and ordering non-alcoholic drinks for her. The band suspects something. Y/n talks with him to try to get him to calm down a little. It works until the guys ask you both about it directly and Colson's the first to crack.”
Colson Baker x Reader
Warnings: Cursing
A/N: Y’all are all up in that spring baby fever… this is like my 3rd or 4th baby request recently
Word Count: 2211
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You and Colson had been talking about having a second kid for months but stopped trying a few weeks before tour started. You didn’t think it had worked until you woke up three days before tour and rushed to the bathroom, morning sickness wrecking your body. Colson felt you getting out of bed and followed a few minutes later, tiredly. When he found you hunched over the toilet, his whole demeaner changed.
You knew for sure the day before tour, after multiple pregnancy tests you had gone to see an OBGYN for confirmation. Sure enough, you were pregnant. The universe sure knew the definition of ironic timing.
Colson’s immediate reaction was to have you stay home. “All the traveling and partying isn’t gonna be good for him.” He said, pacing around your bedroom while you laid on the bed. “Tour life is not good for babies.”
You raised your eyebrow, “him? It’s been one day and you’re already setting unrealistic expectations for our unborn child.” You joked, a small smile on your lips.
Colson’s mouth gaped before he continued, “Y/N, we need to be serious about this. You can’t come on tour if you’re pregnant.”
You rolled your eyes, “Colson, I am not letting you leave me here while I am pregnant. I’ll be fine. I won’t drink and I’ll take it easy. You just have to make sure the guys don’t smoke around me and we’ll be fine.”
His eyes went wide. “Shit, the boys.” He paused to think as confusion crossed you. “If the boys find out about this they’ll freak out and then the whole tour is gonna be a shit show.”
It was kind of funny how much more worried he was than you were. “Babe, come here.” You motioned for him to come sit in the bed with you to which he complied. You leaned your back against the headboard, expecting him to follow. Instead, he laid so his head was next to your stomach. He pressed a small kiss into it, making your heart fluttered, the reality of the situation hitting you and making you insanely happy. “Why are you so worried?” You asked him softly, combing your hand through his hair.
He reached, moving your shirt up so he could kiss your bare stomach. He mumbled against your skin, “I think I wanna keep this a secret for now.” You hummed and he continued, “just for us, y’know? I wanna enjoy this.”
You nodded, “I’m still coming on tour with you, though. I don’t wanna be alone right now.”
He smiled against your stomach, finally moving up to sit next to you, pulling you towards him for a soft kiss. His hand went to your stomach, rubbing circles into the skin. “I can’t believe we’re gonna have a fucking baby.”
You smiled against his lips, a thought popping into your head, “can we tell Casie at least?” His eyes lit up at your suggestion, a quick nod of his head affirming the idea.
 The next day was hectic, as all first days were. You had gotten a list of everything you could and couldn’t do from your doctor, and the all-clear to fly for the first trimester. So, you and Colson found yourself with the crew at LAX airport bright and early in the morning. Ashleigh passed you an itinerary, letting you know that you would all be meeting the bus in Cleveland, where the first show was.
Colson’s arm hadn’t left your waist since you got to the airport, holding you to his side all morning. Occasionally you could feel his thumb rubbing circles near your stomach, something that was definitely becoming a habit of his. At one point he ended up standing behind you, hands resting on your stomach as he held you against him. You tried not to give anything away, but you found it adorable how excited he was. He wanted to be as close to the unborn baby as possible at all times, his hands constantly near your middle.
Eventually you arrived in Cleveland, walking down the long hallway to the baggage claim, taking in the small Cleveland hall of fame that the airport had created. You spotted your suitcase and went to grab it, but Colson beat you to it. “I got it, babe.” He gave you a look that let you know you wouldn’t be carrying anything.
You sighed, “I can get it Colson.” He shrugged, grabbing his bag off of the carousel next. The man now had a large duffel bag slung over his shoulder and two suitcases in his hands. “Seriously, it’s not that heavy.”
He shook his head, “I’m not letting you carry anything heavy. I can do it.” You sighed but let him, knowing you wouldn’t win this battle.
Unbeknownst to you, Baze had seen the whole interaction and was very confused.
 Later, once you had arrived at the arena, you were hanging in the dressing room with Slim and Irv on the couch. You guys weren’t really talking about anything in particular, mostly just cracking jokes about Rook’s outfit for the night.
When the younger boy heard Slim say he looked like “if Willow Smith and Gerard Way were put into a blender,” he came over, blunt in his hand.
Rook started jokingly arguing with Slim and you were all laughing at his distress. In the middle of their argument, however, Colson came over and grabbed the blunt out of Rook’s hand. He put it out in an ashtray before returning to you, squeezing himself between you and Irv.
Everyone, including you, stared at him, dumfounded. “Dude why the fuck-“ Rook started, only for Colson to cut him off.
“You shouldn’t smoke in here.” He shrugged, arms wrapping around you. He squeezed your waist, letting you know why he really did it. You were somewhat thankful; smoke was bad for the baby. But there are less obvious ways to have gone about that.
Rook grumbled but didn’t attempt to light another one. Slim looked at you, an eyebrow raised in question. You shrugged your shoulders, pretending to act innocently naïve to Colson’s behaviors.
Eventually the three boys travelled from the couch, leaving you and Colson alone. “Babe, you gotta try and be a little more subtle about that shit.” You mumbled, turning to face him.
He scrunched his eyebrows, “he shouldn’t be smoking around you. What else was I supposed to do?”
You sighed, “I don’t know, but that wasn’t subtle. If you keep treating me differently, they’re gonna figure out that something’s up.”
Colson lets out a breath through his nose, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “I’m sorry, I just don’t want anything to happen to…” he trailed off, trying to keep a low profile.
“I know you’re just being careful. It’s sweet, and I really appreciate it. But either we tell the guys what’s going on or we figure out how to be more subtle.” You thought you guys were being quiet, but once again Baze was standing just within earshot, hearing your entire conversation.
 Colson demanded you stay backstage instead of in front of the gates like normal tours. “I don’t care if they think something’s up, you are not getting anywhere near that crowd.”
This was something you could actually agree on, not wanting any crazy fangirls to try and reach over the barricade and hurt you by accident (it had happened before). So, you were stood backstage before the concert, like normal, only this time you had a spot next to the stage picked out just for you to watch. Colson came over to you, jumping up and down in excitement.
You giggled at his happy demeanor, feeding off his energy. “Good luck kiss?” You offered to which he happily nodded. You pulled him in by his shoulders, intending to give him a soft kiss. Colson being Colson, however, decided that this was the perfect time for an extremely heated make out session.
You didn’t complain much as his hands explored your waist, paying special attention to your stomach, where a small bump would soon be forming. His lips against yours were heaven.
“Okay loverboy!” Ashleigh called, making him pull away from your lips but he kept himself close to you. “You’re on.”
He nodded towards her, giving you one last peck before running off to the stage. Before he left, his hands lingered on your stomach just a little longer than normal, his eyes glancing down to it for a split second.
Then you watched the love of your life run towards the stage, a grin on his face. “I love you!” You called. He turned to you right before he got on stage and mouthed the words back to you, knowing you couldn’t hear him anymore. You smiled, the sight of him living his dream making your heart melt.
Slim was on the side of the stage closest to you, and had caught the last moments of your intimacy, including Colson’s attention to your stomach. He perked and eyebrow at the sight but shook it off as Colson being into some weird new thing.
 After the show, everyone was hyped up on adrenaline and alcohol. The crew decided to move the party to a nearby club. Colson wanted to take you back to the bus and stay there with you all night, but you made him go. “Colson, I have been in this condition for all of 3 days. I am fine. You just finished the first show of your tour. We,” you pointed between the two of you, “are going out to celebrate, even if that means I can only drink water or pop.”
He rolled his eyes but gave in, letting you drag him down the street towards the rest of your friends. When you got to the club, you grabbed a table with Ash, Irv, Baze, and Slim while Colson took Rook to get drinks for everyone.
When the pair got back, they started handing out drinks. Colson set a glass of water in front of you, causing the group to raise eyebrows at you two, which you just shrugged off, sipping the water. As much as you would have loved to get wasted with your friends, you knew it would hurt the baby. You tried to act as nonchalant about it as possible, realizing that it was gonna be hard to hide your secret if you got water every time you went out.
This was going to be a long 9 months.
“I wanna dance.” Ashleigh said, grabbing Irv and Rook and dragging them to the floor. You grinned, about to stand up and join them when you felt a hand on your thigh. You turned towards Colson, who was currently stopping you from having fun, giving him a glare.
He shook his head slightly at you, leaning close to you to whisper in your ear. “There’s a lot of people here, I don’t want you to get hurt.”
You sighed and rolled your eyes, whispering back, “can you ease up a little bit, please? I’ll be careful. I want to have a little fun before I’m not able to move at all.”
His face was stern, the two of you having a silent argument with your eyes. You pleaded with him, trying to get him to crack but he just shook his head.
Meanwhile Baze and Slim watched you two, trying to figure out how the hell you were communicating without actually talking. “Is everything okay with you two?” Slim asked, pulling your attention to the two men.
You nodded, smiling, “yeah, we’re great.”
Baze cocked his head, “you sure? Because he’s” he pointed at Colson, “acting like you’re pregnant or something.”
You felt Colson’s hand on your thigh tighten, his entire body stiffening. You giggled, trying to play off the comment. Baze started laughing the moment he saw Colson’s expression, which you turned to see was like a deer caught in headlights. Slim’s eyes went wide, “holy shit, for real? Congrats guys!”
You laughed, rubbing Colson’s shoulder, “good job, babe. You did a great job at keeping this between us.”
He looked down at you with a sheepish expression, “sorry, I thought we were being subtle.” He mumbled and you laughed.
“Cols, I was being subtle. You were acting like I was gonna die if someone so much as touched me.” Slim and Baze chuckled at this, and you turned to explain. “We found out for sure yesterday and didn’t want anyone to get freaked out or throw off the tour or anything. So, Colson here,” your head nodded towards your boyfriend, “thought we could keep it a secret for now.”
He frowned, his friends still laughing at him. “Dude, you are the worst secret keeper ever, man.” Baze said. “It took one push and you cracked.” You giggled, nodding your head in agreement. “But seriously, congrats guys.”
“Thanks, B.” You said, “but listen, both of you. If anyone on this tour tells me what I can and can’t do because I’m pregnant, I’ll cut their dick off.” The two boys nodded in understanding.
“Am I really that bad at keeping secrets?” Colson asked, still upset that he spilled.
You giggled and nodded, “Yeah, darling. You are.”
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elliesguitarstrings · 4 years
Text
Just Friends
Masterlist
Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress!Reader
Summary: You and Tom haven’t seen each other since filming Uncharted, and you decide to surprise him at his Jimmy Kimmel interview. Although you’ve always been “just friends,” you can’t help but think there’s something more.
A/N: Hey y’all sorry it’s been a few days since I last posted, I’ve just been super stressed with school and stuff, but I actually really like this fic and I hope you guys like it too!
Warnings: Language, fluff, angst if you squint
WC: 2.4k
~~~~~~~~
It’s been months since you and Tom last saw each other in person.
While filming Uncharted, the two of you had become extremely close, hanging out in each other’s trailers and spending all of your free time together. In such a short period, you had become best friends, but neither of you could deny the spark of something more. Unfortunately, the two of you never got to explore that spark because of the short time limit. After wrapping, you and Tom went your separate ways, him to Atlanta to film Spiderman 3, and you back to your hometown for a well-deserved break.
That doesn’t mean you two haven’t stayed in contact though. You and Tom have texted and facetimed almost every day since you parted ways, or as much as his busy filming schedule allows. Throughout this time, however, you never seemed to discuss the obvious love connection between you two. Without actually speaking about it, you both seemed to agree that that conversation would be better to have in person.
This bring us to today, where Tom is backstage at Jimmy Kimmel, anxiously waiting for his interview segment of the show. He picks up his phone and decides to text you before he goes on to settle his nerves, wishing you were here to comfort him in person.
T: Are you watching the show yet?
Y: yep I already have my tv turned to abc! are you going on soon?
T: Yeah, I’m so nervous though
Y: why? you’ve been on the show before and you’re like amazing at interviews
T: Idk, Jimmy just said “be ready for a surprise” and he looked really suspicious so I’m scared
T: I just hope they don’t bring like Jennifer Aniston out or something because I would totally freeze and make a fool out of myself
Y: lmao that would be kinda funny tho, but I’m sure you have nothing to worry about
T: Okay we’ll see haha
T: Gtg I’m on in 10, I’ll facetime you after I’m done!
Y: kk, good luck tommy :)
T: Ahh thank you!!
What Tom doesn’t know is that you are ten times more nervous than him. While he’s under the impression that you’re sitting on your living room couch watching the show, you are actually in the dressing room down the hall from him.
Last month, when Tom told you he was going to be on Jimmy Kimmel to promote Cherry, you had the idea to surprise him. You emailed Jimmy not expecting a response, but to your surprise, he actually emailed you back and loved your idea.
So, here you are, waiting backstage and shaking with anticipation to surprise Tom. To be completely honest, you’re even more nervous now that you know Tom is expecting some big star like Jennifer Aniston, who you know has always been his biggest celebrity crush. But nonetheless, you shake off the nerves as best as you can, just hoping everything goes well.
“Please welcome our first guest… Tom Holland everyone!” you hear Jimmy’s voice over the speaker in your dressing room.
Now that Tom is on stage, you can safely leave the room without him seeing you, and you head to the side stage, waiting for your cue.
Tom and Jimmy talk about Cherry for a few minutes, and you can’t help but admire him. His voice, his face, his outfit, everything about him is just perfect. And even better, he’s here in person, closer than he’s been to you in a long time. It takes every ounce of self-control in you to stop yourself from running onstage and hugging him now. ‘Only a minute longer,’ you tell yourself.
“So, other than Cherry, what other upcoming projects are you working on?” Jimmy inquires onstage.
Almost there…
“Well, as most of you know,” Tom addresses the audience, “I’m filming Spiderman 3 right now, which has been going brilliantly. It’s definitely going to be the best one of all the Spiderman movies I’ve done. And I just wrapped on a film called Uncharted a few months ago in Berlin, which was so much fun.”
“Ooh, Uncharted, tell us more about that!"
“Yeah, well it’s based on the video game, and I play the main character, Nathan Drake, who’s on a quest throughout the film. It’s a lot like Spiderman in a way, with all the stunts and stuff, and I think it’s going to turn out great, I can’t wait to see it finished.”
“That sounds like a lot of fun! And if I’m not mistaken, you seem to have met a certain Y/N Y/L/N while filming?”
“Oh, Y/N, yeah, she’s great,” he starts to gush, and you immediately smile, “we became friends super fast, and I miss her so much. I wish she could be here right now, but she’s watching from home actually, so hey Y/N!” he looks directly at the camera and waves, as if he’s waving to you through the screen.
That’s your cue. You tiptoe onstage behind Tom, trying your best to shush the immediate gasps from the audience.
“Well Tom,” Jimmy smiles, “I think your wish may have come true.”
“Huh?” Tom looks around, confused, until his eyes land on you, and he completely freezes.
“Hey Tom,” you smile.
“Y/N! Holy shit! You’re here, you’re actually here!” he exclaims, not caring that he just cursed on live TV.
Tom immediately springs off the couch and sprints to you, arms outstretched. As soon as he reaches you, he picks you up in a tight hug and spins you around, both of you laughing. He sets you down, but still keeps you in a tight embrace, not pulling away until neither of you can breathe. He steps backwards to take you in, still trying to fathom that you’re actually here, with him, after all this time.
“Y/N, wha-, how? I thought you were at your house!” Tom can barely form a sentence, smiling wider than ever and completely out of breath.
“Eh, my house was boring. I thought it would be more fun here with you,” you smile.
He pulls you in again, whispering, “I missed you so fucking much.”
“You have no idea,” you whisper back, resting your forehead on his.
The two of you lock eyes, and for a moment, it’s like you are the only two people in the world. You both start to lean in, lips almost touching, when Jimmy interjects.
“Alright, you two, while that was very sweet, we do still have the rest of the show to get through, so why don’t you come sit down,” Jimmy laughs, bringing you and Tom back to reality.
“Right, of course,” Tom responds, trying his best to keep cool in front of the audience.
Tom ushers you to the couch, keeping one hand on the small of your back as he follows you. He keeps his arm around you when you sit, staying as close to you as possible without raising any more suspicions from the audience.
“So, you two, huh?” Jimmy smirks.
“What? Oh, no, Jimmy, we- we’re just friends,” you laugh trying your best to hide the obvious blush on your cheeks.
“I don’t know, that seemed like a little more than just friend behavior to me over there,”
“What do you expect, I haven’t seen her in half a year!” Tom exclaims, saving you from more embarrassment.
“Okay, okay, fine. Just friends,” he turns to the camera and winks, earning laughs from the audience.
“Anyways Y/N, we already talked about Tom, so tell us about you! How was your experience filming Uncharted?” thankfully, Jimmy moves on.
“Well, up until this point I had only really done small indie films, so it was definitely a major change. But Tom was so nice in helping me and it actually turned out to be such an amazing experience, probably the most fun I’ve ever had filming a movie…”
You go on for a few more minutes, talking to Jimmy about your role in Uncharted and your career in general, exchanging small glances with Tom, who just sat back and listened, completely entranced by you.
“Alright, well thank you so much for coming Y/N, it was great to have you! I’m afraid I have to keep Tom for a few more minutes for our next segment, but you’ll have him all to yourself soon enough,” Jimmy smiles.
You laugh, “Thank you so much for having me Jimmy, it was such a pleasure!”
You stand up and hug both Jimmy and Tom, giving Tom a small peck on the cheek before you walk offstage, waving to the audience as you leave.
You smile all the way back to your dressing room, completely overjoyed that you were successful in surprising Tom. As soon as you sat down on the small couch, not even two minutes after you walked offstage, your phone starts blowing up with notifications.
You see that your best friend texted you, so you check that first.
BFF: so you and tom huh? girl why didn’t you tell me?????
Y: what no???
Y: we’re just friends!!
BFF: that’s not what literally all of twitter thinks
Y: wdym? they don’t know anything
BFF: go check rn, i’m telling you they’re going batshit crazy over you two
You check Twitter and immediately see the fans already going crazy over you and Tom.
“just friends”????? bullshit did y’all see the way they almost KISSED?????
TOM AND Y/N I SHIP I SHIP I SHIP
did y’all see the way tom looked at y/n? he’s totally in love omg
UGH I’M SO JEALOUS AKSDHJSAHDSHD I WANT TO BE Y/N SO BAD
they’re so cute help omg
THE WAY Y/N FLEW OUT TO CALIFORNIA JUST TO SURPRISE TOM??? JUST FRIENDS MY ASS
Were you really being that obvious? You quickly call your friend, looking for some advice on what to do, and she picks up right away.
“Okay you were right, they’re going absolutely insane,” you start.
“I mean what do you expect y’all almost kissed on live tv!”
“Shut up.”
“Come onnnnn Y/N, I know you like him and he obviously likes you too so just talk to him! You already know that you two would be the cutest fucking couple ever. Plus you already have the approval of twitter what more could you need?”
You laugh, but you’re still hesitant.
“I don’t know, what if he doesn’t like me back?
“HE. ALMOST. KISSED. YOU. ON. LIVE. FUCKING. TELEVISON. I THINK HE LIKES YOU BACK BITCH!”
“Okay first of all we didn’t almost kiss, and second of all I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Plus how would I even tell him?”
“Okay YES YOU DID ALMOST KISS! And this isn’t middle school! Just tell him how you feel.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Think about what?”
You whip around and see Tom standing at your dressing room door.
“Fuck I gotta call you back,” you whisper, quickly hanging up the phone.
You turn back to Tom, still standing in the doorway.
“How much of that did you hear?” you ask, blushing profusely.
“Um, all of it I think,” Tom looks down and you immediately start to freak out.
Tom, however, looks back up at you and smirks.
“So you like me huh?”
You stay silent for a moment, a billion thoughts running through your head. You contemplate denying it and staying just friends with Tom. But then you think back to what your best friend told you just a second ago.
“Just tell him how you feel.”
“Yeah Tom. I like you. And not as a friend. This isn’t really the way I intended on telling you, and I get if you don’t feel the same way, but the way I feel about you isn’t just platonic. There’s a connection between us that I felt since the day we met and I can’t help but think that you feel it too. And then today it just got, like, ten times stronger and I-“
Tom promptly cuts you off by cupping your jaw and placing his lips on yours, sending a rush throughout your entire body. His lips feel like heaven, moving ever so gently against yours, and again, it feels like you two are the only people on Earth. The kiss is warm and loving, and although it doesn’t last long, the moment has already been engraved in your mind for eternity.
He pulls back, looking into your eyes, making sure he hasn’t made a mistake, but you only stare back at him ten times more lovingly.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” he whispers.
“Me too,” you whisper back.
He takes your hands in his, “Y/N, I do feel that connection, and I want us to be more than just friends. I always have.”
As much as you are relieved that Tom feels the same way, you can’t help but worry.
“What about the distance? Are you sure we can handle that?”
“Of course we can,” Tom assures you, “I don’t care how far away we are from each other, I love you, and I’m never letting any amount of distance take that away.”
“But these past few months have been so hard without you, and we haven’t even been dating, I just- I don’t want to be apart from you anymore.”
“Then move in with me. Come to London and live with me!”
“Okay,” you grin.
“Wait, really?” Tom questions, taken aback.
“Yeah, why not? I mean, obviously we won’t be able to be together all the time because of our jobs, but it’ll be the closest thing.”
“Are you sure? That’s a big commitment to move that far.”
“I’m positive Tom. You’re my best friend, and now, I guess you’re my boyfriend,” you giggle, “I love you too, and I want to be with you, even if that means moving thousands of miles to London.”
Tom smiles, “You called me your boyfriend.”
“Shut up you dork, come here.”
You pull him in for another kiss, still feeling like you’re floating. Your lips once again move perfectly together, as if they’re made for each other. You’re completely consumed in him, and him in you, and in this moment, you know that he is the only one for you. In this moment, you know that you want to spend the rest of your life with him, and only him, and it’s the best feeling in the world.
~~~~~~~~
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wickedw3asleys · 4 years
Text
JUST LIKE HEAVEN (Pt.1)
Fred x female reader x George
AN: SO I'VE BEEN WRITING THIS DURING MY PAUSE AT WORK SO SORRY IF IT'S NOT THAT GOOD AS THE OTHER ONES AND IF I MADE MISTAKES. I couldn't take it out of my head and I needed to write this down ASAP. Also I feel like this could be a fic in a few parts, like 3 or 4 maybe???? So please tell me if you like the idea and if you'd like me to write more of this!! 🥰
ALSO, NO TWINCEST. As much as I love the idea of getting eiffel towered by the weasley twins this is not for today :')
WARNINGS: nothing too much, cussing, mentions of sex, mentions of the fwb type of relationship...
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"Fuck! Shit! BITCH!", you start screaming at your own book. "I can't get it right! It doesn't stay in my head!"
"Y/N, chill, mate! Did the book do something to you?", George laughs.
"Actually, it did. BE THERE."
The four people that were in the Gryffindor common room started to laugh at your visibly frustrated and stressed state.
"Why do we have to get exams? Why can't Harry go and save us all from another danger that's menacing Hogwarts so Dumbledore can cancel all the exams again?!"
Ron sighs at the thought, "We're not kids anymore unfortunately..."
"Yeah, we're big boys now!", Fred says, laying back on the couch.
"Come on, Y/N! It isn't that bad!", Hermione exclaims.
"Ugh! I miss these times when we wouldn't care about the exams and just party and drink, and go to Hogsmeade, Quidditch matches...", you say, your face between your hands.
"Don't remind me, we haven't been able to play a single good match in weeks...", Fred and George whine.
"Ugh... And I haven't been able to concentrate for days... I'm so bloody horny...", you said as you stretched your back, "I need more parties..."
"Y/N!" Hermione exclaimed.
"What? A woman has her needs!", you said, earning laugh from everybody, except from her. "Obviously you wouldn't know! You have your personal ginger sex robot! Don't act as if I haven't heard you two getting at it..."
"Y/N!!!!!!!!", she exclaims again, starting to get as red as the couch you and the twins were sitting on.
"Y/N, bloody hell!", Rom laughs, also embarrassed. His ginger locks and the color of his face almost matching. "But for real, how long has it been without you getting laid?!", Ron exlaimed.
"Ronald!", Hermione scolded him, "I don't think that's your business!"
You shook your head as you laughed, "Way too long, Ronald!"
You felt an arm seductively sliding on your shoulders, and when you turned to see the owner of that arm, you started facing a smirking Fred.
"What?", you asked in a fake annoyed tone.
"Maybe I can give you a hand about that..."
"... Or two...", added George, also sliding his arm around you.
That little scene caused another shocked gasp from Hermione and a fake gag from Ron.
"In your dreams, Weasleys...", you answered seductively, lifting both of their chins with your fingers.
Saying that you've never thought about it would be a lie, but that flirting game was always fun with the twins. You knew you were at their liking, as so were they for you. But you three seemed to enjoy the game way too much.
"Oh, definitely...", Fred smirked again, owning a laugh from his twin.
"Okay! That's it, you perverts! We we're supposed to be studying!", Hermione scolded you and the twins, slapping George's leg with her now closed book.
"Ouch! We've been at it for so long! We're getting bored!", he exclaimed, rubbing his painful leg.
"Sorry, Mione, but I'm going to stick with him on this one...", you said.
"Well, don't come at me if you fail you exams!", she scoffed, clearly annoyed.
"Come on, darling... Don't be like that...", Ron took her in a tight hug, which clearly relaxed her, making her smile.
"Yeah, darling, come on...", Fred mocked his brother, also earning a book slap on the leg, making the rest of us laugh, even Hermione.
"Okay...", she says after a few seconds, "go have fun, I suppose... But we'll do this again on Wednesday! I'm not going to fail because of you fools!"
"YES!", the twins quickly got up and high fived each other.
"Okay, and I think I'll go out, breathe some fresh air. All this studying stressed me more than I already was...", you said, getting up and adjusting your skirt.
"Mind if we join?", George asked with a seductive smile.
"Hhmm...", you hummed, "okay, but if you say, do or even think about nasty things that include me, I'll jinx you both!"
"Hey, why me? He's the one asking!", Fred lift his hands in the air.
You laughed and with that, said goodbye to the couple that still were sitting on the floor hugging, and got out of the common room, followed by the twins.
You walked for a while in silence, observing their behavior and waiting for them to say something. Thing that Fred expectedly did...
"Soooo... Y/N... How long has it actually been?", he asked.
"How long what?", you crooked an eyebrow.
"How long has it been since you've got laid?", George finished the question.
You laughed, not surprised by the question, at all.
"That's none of your business!", you say.
"Oh, come on!", they started to protest, "we'll tell how long it was for us!"
"Why would I-
"6 months", they said at the same time.
"Wh-... Wow... 6 months is long!", you were genuinely surprised by that. You've always thought about the twins as the popular hot boys that could get any girls that if they wanted to, so it was very surprising to you that they haven't done anything in that much time.
"Well, actually, 5 for me...", Fred says, thinking about his answer.
"WHAT? Who was it?!", his brother asks, shocked.
"Uhm... Hannah... Abbot...", he answers, rubbing the back of his neck, embarrassed.
"HANNAH ABBOT?!", you and George exclaimed, laughing.
Not that she wasn't good looking or anything, neither of you simply expected Fred to actually fuck her. You never thought of her getting boys or getting laid in general, so the fact that she got to fuck one of the boys that all of the girls at Hogwarts wanted, was a big win for her.
"Not so loud!", Fred put his hand on your mouth, "Wouldn't want the whole school to know about who I fuck or who I don't fuck!"
You couldn't help but have some nasty thoughts come to your mind the second Fred put his hand on your mouth, thinking about all the things he could do with you like this.
Just as he read your mind, he started smirking and applying a little bit more pressure on your mouth, to what you licked the inside of his hand, just to annoy and play with him a little bit.
"EW!", he screamed, putting down his hand and cleaning it on George's shoulder.
"Come on, you liked it!", you laughed.
"If he doesn't want it, I'll gladly take it...", George winked at you.
"Interesting proposal, Weasley..."
Fred started fake coughing as a sign that he was still there, and after a good laugh, you continued your walk.
After a few more minutes of walking, you felt your body being lifted up by two strong arms and dragged to an empty classroom.
"Well, that was unexpected", you say, watching Fred and George towering in front of you. "What are we doing here?"
"Okay, so... We've been thinking...", George started.
"...Thinking a lot..."
"...And we actually thought that this was a pretty good idea..."
"...We just need to know what you think about it..."
"Okay... Go ahead...", you say, very intrigued by this whole situation.
"So, wanna be fuck buddies?", George finally asks.
You looked at them dead in the eye, trying to see a sparkle in their eyes that would indicate you that this was another one of their pranks, but no chance. And judging by their faces, they were dead serious.
"Excuse me, fuck what?", you cleared your throat, suddenly feeling it extremely dry.
"Fuck buddies. Y'know... We call each other when we need it, and we still have our friendship...", Fred explains.
"...No strings attached"
"A-and you're okay with that?", you started switching looks between them, starting to feel nervous about the idea, "Like... both of you?"
"Yeah, why not?", George shrugs his shoulders.
"Literally... Both of you?!", you asked, emphasizing the end of your question, starting to blush.
"No! I mean... Not BOTH of us, like that!", Fred exclaims, "but yeah... both of us, individually, we mean... with you..."
"Bloody hell... Uhm...", you started sweating and getting more and more nervous at the thought of it.
"Come on, Y/N, we know you've thought about us in that way..."
"Of course I did! But I've never thought about... THIS", you say, "entering a beneficial sexual relationship, AND WITH YOU TWO! That's insane!"
"Why?", George laughs.
"Yeah, why? Like you said it's beneficial! You're stressed and horny, we're practically dying inside, see! It's for a good cause!", Fred says, owning an very excited nod in approval from his brother.
You could feel your head spin from the twins proposal. But not once you've thought that it was a bad idea. Actually, you were very into it. You absolutely needed to get laid and it was the same for them, so what was the wrong in getting railed by each one of them whenever you felt like it? You were feeling like in heaven right now.
"Okay", you firmly said after a moment.
"O-okay?"
"You're okay with it?", George looks at you with sparkling eyes, all excited.
"Yeah... I mean... It obvious we all need to get laid, and I trust you, guys! If I had to start a friends with benefits type of relationship with anyone else, I'd rather do it with you two..."
"Aw, you're gonna make me blush, Y/N", Fred says, cupping his own face in his hands.
You looked at him with a fake annoyed gaze and he winked at you, "So it's settled, then..."
"I suppose... So how and when are we doing this?", you start asking.
"Don't be such a rush, we have some things to do right now, sweetheart... We'll see you later..."
And with that, they both leaned over you, and placed a wet kiss on each side of your neck, making you involuntarily moan.
"We're going to have fun together, you'll see...", George says, blowing you a kiss before leaving the classroom followed by his brother.
When you heard the door close, you released a breath you didn't even know you were holding.
You. Being friends with benefits. With Fred and George.
Great. Amazing.
This could work, right?
Let's just hope no one would catch unwanted feelings for another in the middle of this relationship...
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kaistarus · 3 years
Text
The Only Exception
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Pairing: NishinoyaXReader
Words: 2.2K
Summary: Nishinoya was genuinely happy with his life. He’d gotten used to being by himself and had accepted the fact that that was how it was supposed to be. Until you came along and threw everything he thought made sense out the window.
A/N: I really like this fic. It’s one of my favorites Nishinoya ones so far just because it’s his pov and timeskip and the amount of love feels makes me happy. i got a lot of serotonin while writing it :D
Masterlist
Nishinoya had never been someone’s first choice.
He knew that sounded dramatic, but it was just a fact of life. The sky was blue, Tanaka could chug three-fourths gallon of milk before vomiting, and Nishinoya was never anyone’s preferred option--which never bothered him so keep the pity to yourself.
He learned to accept this when he never got scouted for the All-Japan Youth Camp and after the only person Nishinoya ever even kind of loved ended up loving his best friend. It taught him to keep his expectations low and to focus on things he could control, which was what led him to solo-traveling Japan and then the world. He realized things might be better on his own, and with the constant itch that he was missing out on something bigger traveling alone just made sense.
But then you came and ruined everything.
Hold on. That came off way more aggressive than Nishinoya wanted. He meant there was a perfect vision for how his life would go-pyramids in Egypt, Hollywood sign in Los Angeles, deep sea fishing in Italy-until he toppled over you in the streets of Italy. He’d been sprinting toward the docks when you stepped out of a marketplace and he collided into you, knocking you flat on your butt and sending your groceries all over the sidewalk. Nishinoya fumbled through his best apology in broken Italian while shoving produce into your paper bag, but froze in surprise when you snorted rather than began an enraged lecture.
He swore his heart actually stopped when your eyes met. You were clearly amused by his flustered behavior and when his heart started back up it was abnormally fast. Not once had he understood what Tanaka meant when he explained the first time he’d seen Kiyoko, but the first time Nishinoya saw you everything Tanaka said clicked. If Nishinoya had been fifteen he probably would’ve proposed to you on the spot.
But he wasn’t, so instead he shakily handed you your groceries with furiously red cheeks.
“Come ti chiami?” You asked with a raised brow.
Nishinoya blinked several times. He racked his brain for what he’d been taught on his last fishing trip, but it was mostly curses and inappropriate sayings he should probably avoid using. He was pretty sure Duolingo mentioned ‘chiamo’ as name though.
“Nishinoya?” He answered like a question and felt relief wash over him when you nodded.
“What are you doing this weekend, Nishinoya?”
He stared blankly before pointing at you with wide eyes, “I understood that.”
“Well you obviously don’t know Italian,” you rolled your eyes and he pouted at the incredibly accurate jab, “so, are you free?”
He looked around the empty street before pointing to himself. “Are you still talking to me?”
“Is there another Nishinoya around here?”
“I mean, there could be.” He looked up thoughtfully. “The odds would be crazy though.”
You laughed lightly which made a warmth creep up his neck. “I’m talking to you. I’m trying to ask you on a date.”
He looked at you like you’d grown a second head. “Why?”
“You’re attractive and you seem nice,” you cocked your head to the side. “Is that not a good reason?”
He stared at the ground intensely. “I guess… It is?” Then his original reason for being there struck him and his eyes widened. “Oh shit. I have to go,” he started leaving before quickly coming back. “Wait, I, uh, yes. Yes to the date thing.”
You chuckled, pulling a cellphone from your pocket to let him hurriedly create his contact before continuing his sprint to the docks-with a teasing recommendation not to knock anyone else over. That literal run in was the moment his entire world view became out of whack.
It wasn’t that he thought he was immune to liking someone-high school Nishinoya fell for any breathing human that gave him attention-he just lost the ability to imagine someone liking him. Maybe he’d been by himself too long or maybe that was just another fact he’d grown used to. He didn’t know anymore.
He did know that when he showed up at the restaurant thirty minutes early-there’s only so much pacing someone can do before they go insane-he hadn’t expected to see you. Just sitting on a bench beside the main entrance, looking too perfect while bouncing a knee and nibbling on your thumb nail as if you were nervous to be there.
Except it was only him, so that wouldn’t make sense.
“Hey,” you said when you spotted him standing in the middle of the sidewalk like an idiot.
“You’re here,” he raised a brow. You took it as the time, but he meant it in a general sense. He truly hadn’t expected you to show up.
“Oh,” you chuckled awkwardly, twisting the material of your clothes. “Yeah, I was kind of nervous.”
He mulled that over for admittedly too long, but it just seemed like such a stupid thing to say. It wasn’t that you looked stupid, but that’s what made it so confusing.
“You’re also early.” You pointed out when the silence became awkwardly long.
“I was nervous.” He said like it should have been obvious.
“At least we’re starting on equal ground,” you said with a shaky breath.
Equal ground? He wasn’t sure his brain was cut out for this type of critical thinking. He’d even spent the past few days planning for every scenario-even you sneaking out the bathroom like in the movies-but he never pictured you being nervous.
“Uh, yeah,” he tapped against his leg while glancing through the window at the half-filled dining area, “we can probably go inside.”
“That’s probably a good idea,” you gave him a quick finger gun before whipping around with shoulders to your ears.
Nishinoya blinked several times before looking back down the street. A part of him thought about running, saving you both from the shitty date to come filled with awful conversation starters he’d pulled from an online article for high schoolers. However his fate was sealed the moment you sent a gentle smile over your shoulder and his feet began following you through the door without his permission.
Ever since that day he’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Ever since you giggled behind your hand instead of wincing at the terrible jokes he regretted the moment they left his mouth; ever since you weren’t burdened by the need to translate for him the whole night; and ever since you were amused rather than annoyed at his nervous rambling and awkward icebreakers.
It was just too good to be true.
Like the first time you came over and teased him for the cheesy dialogue in his favorite action movies. How his chest ached when your head rested in his lap and you gazed at him with overwhelming amounts of affection. He’d never dreamed he’d have this-couldn’t have if he tried. Sharing his favorite things with someone while they traced designs against his palm and occasionally sealing them with featherlight kisses. The fire it sent up his arm was too much and not enough and he hadn’t realized how much he’d wanted this.
It was a little scary how much Nishinoya didn’t want to lose it.
And that thought started keeping him up at night. Nishinoya was never really scared of anything-it was kind of what he was known for everywhere he traveled. If anyone needed something done they asked the foreigner with a death wish. So, the idea that you had that effect on him was, again, terrifying.
But what was Nishinoya supposed to do when you press your forehead against his in the middle of the night? Running your fingers through his hair and paying special attention to the blonde strands he’d always been secretly self-conscious of, whispering low how they were one of your favorite things in the world. How could he regret anything when you rubbed your nose lazily against his and kissed him softer than he ever deserved? He didn’t give a shit how scared he was if it meant he could stay like this, with you, for as long as you’d let him.
Because his heart raced a million miles a second when you mindlessly held his hand under a table or leaned against him just to be close. Because for some reason he was the first person you called when you were excited or when you needed comfort. Because when he rambled too long about spearfishing or an old friend’s volleyball game your eyes lit with genuine interest rather than annoyance. And because he was in love with you.
Which he both wasn’t prepared for and had known was inevitable. Falling for you had been like getting hit by a semi-truck he’d seen coming for miles.
It probably happened sooner than socially acceptable, but that didn’t surprise him given his all or nothing nature. This outcome was decided the moment Nishinoya knew he’d be fine with you breaking his heart a hundred times if it meant he could keep waking up next to you cascaded by the rising sun because he was still too lazy to invest in curtains. Just you cuddling closer to him for warmth in your sleep would make every ounce of pain worth it.
Once Nishinoya’d acknowledged his feelings it was nearly impossible keeping them down. With every breathtaking smile, or brush of your hand against his, or bubble of laughter that rang throughout his apartment it nearly spilled from his lips like a breath. It took all self-restraint he had to hold it back. And it wasn’t that he didn’t want you to know because you deserved this piece of him-every piece of him.
He just wasn’t sure you’d want it.
His resolve lasted nearly a month-a month longer than he thought he was capable-before the feeling was too intense for him to keep down. And it wasn’t anything drastic that made him break. No, it was something so absurdly casual that he was almost pissed at himself when the words flowed from his mouth.
It had been a completely average morning, nothing crazy, the weather was actually gross with rain pounding against the windows and the sky a depressing shade of grey. But then you stepped out of his bathroom while rubbing the sleep from your eyes, giving him a lopsided smile before slurring a soft request for breakfast. It was like time froze and he was in a stupid romcom except you were there so it was actually an oscar nominated masterpiece.
Your head lolled to the side, half-lidded eyes filling with concern at his silence. “We can cook together. I didn’t mean it like-”
“I love you.”
That seemed to wake you up. Your body straightened while your mouth hung open in stunned silence. Nishinoya had expected this kind of reaction, so he clenched his fists tight in preparation for the worst.
“Are you sure?” You asked, barely above a whisper. “That’s a pretty serious word, Noya.”
He knew that. Nishinoya had spent too many nights losing sleep over that.
“You scare me,” he confessed, deciding if he was going to dig his grave he might as well make it deep. “I’ve never really been the one someone chooses. More like deal or settle with.” He grimaced when his heart squeezed painfully in his chest, “but I love you more than I thought I could ever love anyone and that scares me. You make me feel wanted and I don’t know what to do with that.”
“Because I do want you.” You whispered and his stare locked on yours so quickly, meeting your loving gaze while his heart started racing. “And everyone you know must be really stupid because I feel lucky I got to choose you. I get to love you.”
He stared at you wide-eyed while his chest swelled with so much emotion he was surprised he hadn’t passed out.
“Sorry, that sounded really lame.” You placed a hand against your forehead and Nishinoya shook his head vigorously.
“I think that was the greatest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
You stepped closer and cradled his face, gently brushing your thumbs along his cheeks. If he wasn’t so manly and awesome he may have teared up, but he definitely didn’t. Which was why you obviously weren’t wiping any water off his cheeks before pulling his lips against yours.
Nishinoya set a languid pace that turned desperate when you tangled your fingers in his hair. He pulled you as close as he could, which was never enough, snaking an arm around your middle and sliding one to cradle the back of your head. 
When it got heated enough that he decided he’d very much like to move it to his bedroom Nishinoya’s stomach growled and you snorted against his lips. Nishinoya pouted, whining when you pulled away with a playful smirk.
“Later,” you said, pinching his cheeks and waving his head around. “Food first. We’re both hungry.”
He did love food.
He disrespectfully watched you leave him in favor of searching the fridge for food that could be thrown together for breakfast. A dopey smile covered his lips because he loved you. He was lucky enough to get to love you. And for some ridiculous fucking reason you were dumb enough to love him.
He would do whatever he could to keep it this way. For now, that was helping you cook breakfast. Tomorrow, who knows? But whatever it was you would be there, so it would be pretty god damn amazing.
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Wormhole | Spencer Reid x Reader Platonic
WC: 10k
A/N: This is a comfort fic disguised as a CM episode. Also, I had a lot of fun writing this.
WARNINGS: Kidnapping, murder, general CM things, hospitals, mentions of blood, psychopaths
You weren’t normally nervous to talk to Agent Aaron Hotchner. Sure, he was your boss, but he had also been leading the BAU for so long that you always trusted his reactions and motives. Still, the reason you had asked him to meet was so far out of left field that you were nervous he would tell you you were insane.
You were the first one in the office for the morning, perching on your desk in the empty bullpen while you waited for Hotch to arrive. You stood up when he entered the office, but waited to move until he made it to his office door and beckoned you to follow him inside.
“Good morning, (y/n).”
“Morning, Hotch,” you stood awkwardly in front of his desk, clutching the file in your hands.
“Please, sit. Is everything ok?” As soon as you made eye contact with him, your nerves settled. Everything about his behavior showed that he was genuinely concerned for you and interested in what you had to say. You took a deep breath, sliding the file onto his desk.
“I was looking into this cold case from the eighties, in Illinois. Mia-Rose Horn, 16, found murdered under a bridge. I have a theory, and I was hoping I could take a couple of days to go check it out.” You bit your lip while he picked up the file, thumbing through it.
“What’s your theory?”
“The only suspects considered were older transients in the area because the town was so biased against migrant workers. My preliminary research shows that the unsub profiles as younger, someone who knew the victim and her family personally. It feels like there’s a piece of the puzzle missing, and I think victimology can really help this case. I’d like to visit the dumpsite and walk the crime scene. I’d also like to go through the evidence to see if I can narrow it down a little more, and possibly do updated DNA analysis. I’ve already contacted the lead detective, he said it would be fine if I went out there.”
Hotch was quiet for a minute, reading the case information from the file. The longer you sat in silence, the more you feared he would say no. Finally, he closed the file and handed it back to you, “the FBI wasn’t invited in on this case when it was active, how did you find it?”
You blushed, hard. “I was watching a cold case documentary and when they talked about this one it just didn’t feel right, so I asked Garcia to pull the file. Once I looked it over more I realized my hunch was correct. They barely built a profile and the one they did make was wrong.”
“Do you work on cold cases often?”
“I’ve only worked on it when we don’t have an active case and I’m caught up on my paperwork, it makes me feel like I’m still making a difference when things are slow here.”
Hotch nodded, “you’re a good agent, (y/n). I trust that you’ll represent the BAU well. I can’t let you take the jet but you’re welcome to an SUV. However, as soon as we get an active case it takes priority. Do you understand?”
You stood up quickly, excitedly gripping at the file, “Yes sir, of course. Thank you so much. I promise I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t think I could do something. I won’t let you down, sir.” Hotch smiled softly at your energy. You had reached for the door handle before he spoke again, calling after you.
“(y/n),” you turned, hand still on the doorknob, “take Reid with you, I assume he knows the details of this case, too?” You nodded quickly, practically bouncing back to your desk with excitement. You checked the clock, Spencer would probably arrive in the next ten minutes or so, giving you time to arrange everything you’d need for the trip.
As soon as he stepped out of the elevator, you were waiting for him, go bag in hand.
“Hotch said you could go?”
“Not only that, he said you could come with me,” you smirked, falling in step next to him as he walked to his desk.
“Really?”
“We’re leaving now, so get your go bag.” You did a little happy dance as he started to gather his things.
“Ooh! Where are you going?” Penelope joined you at Spencer’s desk, hot cup of coffee in her hands.
“(y/n) is solving a cold case, we’re going out to Illinois to get more information.”
“The one I pulled for you? You actually solved it? Is there anything you can’t do?” Penelope asked in disbelief. Just last week she had explained to you why she was convinced you were a superhero.
You laughed brightly, “I don’t know if I can solve it yet, that’s why I need to go check it out for myself. Yes, I’ll call you if I need anything,” you answered when she opened her mouth to speak again. She hugged both you and Spencer before you left, making you promise you’d call her with updates and letting you know she’d call the detective to let him know you were on your way.
In true Spencer fashion, he had brought enough audiobooks to last the whole drive. You didn’t mind, your brain was more focused on driving. You didn’t talk about the case until you were nearing the end of the twelve hour road trip. Spencer was the one to bring it up, turning down the volume knob on the console.
“How are you feeling about this?”
“To be honest, Spence, I haven’t really been listening.”
“I meant about the case,” he chuckled.
“I’m trying not to get my hopes up. It’s been a cold case for over three decades for a reason, you know?”
“We wouldn’t be in Illinois right now if you weren’t on to something. Instincts exist for a reason, and your instincts are usually right.”
You fiddled with the air conditioning vents absentmindedly, “I don’t want to dredge up old wounds for the family and the town unless I’m absolutely certain I can bring some closure to them as well. The detective is the only person who knows we’re coming. I don’t want to start interviewing witnesses until I know I can do something to help.”
Spencer nodded, “I’ll follow your lead, you just tell me what you need.”
You spent the rest of the time discussing the details of the case, Spencer looking over the file again while you navigated to the police office. Having Spencer with you made you feel a lot better. You knew the case front to back, but this was your first time leading an investigation and you didn’t want to accidentally miss something in the file out of nervousness. Spencer’s eidetic memory and genius brain would keep you on track and ask you questions you knew would only help you in the grand scheme of things. Spencer was also your best friend, your biggest supporter. Any considerations he had would always come from a place of love and mutual respect.
When you arrived at the police station it was late in the evening, but the detective was waiting for you. He was an older man, tall and mostly bald.
“Hi, you must be Agent (y/l/n). Nice to finally meet you in person.”
“Detective Reeves, nice to finally meet you, too. This is my partner, Doctor Reid.” Spencer brought a hand up to wave. “Thanks for letting us take a look at this.”
“Thanks for making the drive out here. This case…” he sighed, “Mia-Rose went missing two months after I started this job and I’ve been hunting her killer ever since. It’s been thirty two years, a fresh pair of eyes will do this case good. It’ll do the whole town good if you can see somethin’ I haven’t.”
“We’ll see what we can do,” you said, not wanting to promise any results to him. “Is there a room we can set up in?”
“I’ve brought all of the evidence to our conference room. Use it for as long as you need.”
“Thanks,” you took off to the door that he had pointed at, Spencer on your heels. He shut the door behind you, dropping his bag on a chair while you picked up examination gloves.
The next few hours were spent meticulously going over the evidence that had been collected. You occasionally made comments to Spencer about where the item had come from and any notes that had already been documented about it.
The clock had just passed midnight when you were ready to move on to the next part of your investigation. You wanted to walk the dumpsite, but it would be useless to go while it was still dark. Instead, you retreated to a small motel at Spencer’s insistence that you needed sleep.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to shut my brain off enough to actually sleep,” you confessed once you were wearing sweatpants and leaning up against the headboard of the bed.
Spencer wandered out of the bathroom, giving you the softest look as he sat down next to you.
“What are you thinking about the most?”
“The evidence told me exactly what I thought it would, but I can’t build a decent mental picture of what happened until I see the dump site. What if I get there and it still doesn’t make sense? What if I’m in too deep on this one, Spence?”
“This case has been cold for thirty years, it can wait one more night. You are an incredible FBI agent. You’re an incredible human, at that. I know you can handle this, and Hotch knows you can handle this, too. If you aren’t able to solve it, you’re not letting anyone down. It’s been a cold case for a reason, I’m sure you’ll solve the next one.”
“Logically I know you’re right, but that isn’t making sleep happen any easier,” you sighed, sinking down onto a pillow. You could tell from Spencer’s expression that he had an idea when he reached up, turning off the lamp beside him and laying down next to you in the dark.
“This is called Image Distraction, all you have to do is close your eyes, try to relax, and listen to my voice.”
“Are you hypnotizing me?” you giggled into the darkness, feeling like a small kid at a sleepover with their best friend.
“No, it’s just a strategy to help you fall asleep. I’m going to describe a scene to you and the idea is that it takes up enough space in your brain to prevent you from re-engaging with other thoughts. Hypnosis doesn’t actually put you to sleep, just in a trance that seems like you’re sleeping. It’s been proven to help change habits and thoughts around sleeping though. There was a study done in 2010-”
“Is that what I’m supposed to be picturing? I’m seeing dudes in lab coats and creepy hospital walls.”
You felt the mattress shake next to you as Spencer laughed.
“No, that wasn’t it. I’m going to start now, picture a waterfall. As you walk closer it gets louder, pounding onto the rocks below it and spraying a mist into the air. The droplets of water stick to your face. You can see a rainbow that touches the pool at the base of the waterfall. The plants growing around the pool of water are greener than emeralds, bright and shining in the sun…”
That was the last thing you remembered him saying before succumbing to sleep. You had a very vivid dream while you were sleeping, not uncommon for someone in your field, but it wasn’t one you had had before.
There was a teenage girl walking in front of you down a long hallway. You instantly recognized her as Mia-Rose. She turned around every so often, beckoning you to come closer, but no matter how fast you tried to move your feet it was impossible for you to catch up. The hallway was familiar, you realized it was one in Quantico that you walked down every day to get to the elevator. It took longer than normal to reach the end, and just when you thought you could catch up to Mia-Rose, Hotch stepped out in front of you, holding Spencer with one arm and holding his gun to your best friend’s temple with the other.
“You have to choose, (y/n).”
“Choose what?”
“One of them has to die. Him or her?” he moved his gun to point the barrel at Mia-Rose.
“I don’t understand, why can’t I save them both?”
“One of them has to die.”
It only took you a moment to consider, “me. Shoot me. Let them live.”
“Brave choice,” Hotch’s gun came to point at you and his finger squeezed the trigger.
You woke up.
Soft morning light was coming in through the window and Spencer was already awake, quietly tying his tie while perched on the edge of the bed.
“Morning,” he grinned when he noticed you watching him.
“Morning,” you panted, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from your eyes.
“You were dreaming.”
“Yeah.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Hotch made me choose between him shooting Mia-Rose or shooting you.”
“What did you choose?”
“I made him shoot me instead.”
You expected Spencer to launch into an analysis of your dream and what it meant, but instead he asked another question, changing the subject.
“Can we stop for coffee before we walk the dumpsite?” he pulled a blue cardigan out from his go bag and stuck his arms through the sleeves.
“Sure,” you said, stretching as you stood up. While you got ready, Spencer found the nearest place to get coffee, and you stopped there before continuing on to the bridge where Mia-Rose’s body had been found thirty years ago.
“I’m too used to walking active crime scenes,” you murmured when you pulled over to the empty dumpsite. Normally dumpsites like this were taped off with officers present, as well as some news reporters and civilian gawkers. You were sure that it had looked like that when the crime had first happened, but now it was just a bridge that nobody thought about.
When you stepped out of the SUV you noticed a small memorial for Mia-Rose nailed to a tree, wilted and weathered flowers around it. You stopped for a minute to look at it, then continued through the brush to the overpass.
Mia-Rose had fallen off of the bridge onto the ground beneath, where you were standing now. Her death was originally ruled a suicide, which had slowed the investigation until her parents insisted she wasn’t suicidal and had her autopsied, revealing ligature marks and evidence of assault. Just from reading the file, you knew that her parents were right. She didn’t profile as suicidal, and if she was she could have jumped from further down the bridge into the flowing river to your right, not onto the ground where she likely would have survived.
“Mia-Rose was found right here,” you pointed, “and her belongings…” you turned to your left, Spencer moving from behind you to stand where the girl’s school backpack and shoes had been found, a handful of yards away.
“They were found next to this rock.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” you said, facing him from where you stood, “the ME found traces of motor oil on her skin, so she must have been transported in a car. That means the unsub was driving on this road, stopped here by the bridge, then tossed her over the side. Why not just toss her stuff after her?” After thinking in silence for a minute, you started moving. “Stay where you are,” you instructed Spencer as you climbed the embankment. Once you reached the bridge, you stood on the edge so you could see both locations of dump sites.
“Spence,” you called to him, “how long is the average car?”
“Anywhere between 10 and 18 feet, depending on the size of the vehicle,” he answered quickly. You positioned yourself in line with where Mia-Rose’s body was found, then paced out roughly fifteen feet, landing you almost squarely in line with where Spencer was standing down the hill.
“What are you thinking?”
“This might sound kind of out there, but what if there was a partner?”
Spencer furrowed his eyebrows, trying to figure out how you had gotten there. He climbed up to where you were standing before asking you about it, “what makes you think that?”
“Eyewitness accounts said they saw Mia-Rose in a car with a man the night she went missing, and they were both sitting in the front of the car, but that’s about all anyone can agree on. What if there was a second unsub sitting in the back? If I’m the unsub getting Mia-Rose out of the front, you’re taking her stuff out of the trunk and tossing it over the side,” you acted out.
“Which means my DNA should be on her belongings,” Spencer concluded, finishing your thought, “I’ll call the lab and start getting things processed.”
“Good idea, I’m going to call Garcia and then we can head back to the station,” you said, pulling out your own phone as Spencer took a step away to make his call.
“Crimefighter! What have you’ve got?” Garcia answered her phone quickly.
“Hey Penelope, can you go through the list of Mia-Rose’s family members and get me some updated contact info?”
“Of course! Did you get a lead? I knew you could solve this,” she rambled. You could hear the clicking of her keyboard as she multitasked.
“Not quite, just a better understanding of the situation. I want to start interviewing family members to really nail down victimology and see if they know of anyone who fits my profile. Spencer’s calling the lab to get some evidence re-examined. When they send you results can you run them through CODIS?”
“Absolutely. Anything else?”
“That’s it for now, thanks Garcia.”
“Anytime, my love. I just sent the updated contacts to your tablet. Garcia out!”
Spencer was waiting for you in the SUV, once you finished your call with Garcia you drove back to the station. Detective Reeves assigned an officer to help you call the family members and invite them in for interviews.
“Mrs. Horn, thank you for coming in to talk with us,” you said gently to the elderly woman sitting across from you.
“Anything to help you find my little girl’s killer. Do you really think you can solve it?”
“We’re trying our best. Any information you can give us will make our job easier. Mia-Rose was walking home from school when she went missing, and was later seen getting into a blue car. Is there anyone she would have willingly accepted a ride home from?”
“No, she always walked, rain or shine so she could say hello to the neighbors on her way home. Except for Tuesdays, my brother Dylan would drive her home from band practice on Tuesdays because it was after dark.”
You exchanged a glance with Spencer, silently acknowledging that Mia-Rose was abducted on a Friday.
“Did she have any enemies? Anyone who would want to hurt her, bullies or friends she might have had a falling out with?”
“No, she was sweet to everyone. That’s why it was such a shock to the town when she was killed. There wasn’t a soul who hadn’t been touched by her kindness.” Mrs. Horn spoke so highly of her daughter, further validating your theory.
“Let’s take a break,” you said, noting the way she was tearing up, “excuse us.” You stepped out of the room with Spencer.
“We should talk to Dylan,” he said once you were out of earshot of Mrs. Horn.
“I agree. He was interrogated by police when Mia-Rose first went missing, but I don’t think he’s a suspect. His alibi was rock solid, but he might know something about what happened.”
You had the detective bring in Mrs. Horn’s brother, Dylan Godfrey. While he agreed to an interview, he was much less cooperative than Mrs. Horn.
“I told the police thirty years ago, I had nothing to do with it,” he drawled, “I was at home with my wife, God rest her soul. I didn’t even have my car to kidnap Mia if I wanted to.”
“Where was your car?” Spencer asked quickly.
“My boy had it, out with his friends. He had just gotten his driver’s license. You know how kids are, impossible to control.”
This was the first you were hearing of his son. Nowhere in the records from the original investigation did it say Dylan Godfrey had a son, let alone a son who’s whereabouts were unknown on the night of the crime.
“Mr. Godfrey, let me ask you this. How old was your son the year Mia-Rose was murdered?”
“Eighteen.”
“Do you know where he was that night?”
“Out, like I said. He didn’t come home until after two o’clock in the morning.”
“Do you know where he is now?”
“Last I knew he was working on a farm just out of town, the McGilroy’s place.”
As soon as Spencer had gotten the information out of him, you were firing off texts to Garcia. She sent you the address of the farm, and you called her once you were en route.
“You’re on speaker, Garcia. What have you found about this guy and why didn’t we know about him before?”
“I’ve been asking myself the same question. He wasn’t included in any of the original witness statements. I’ve barely been able to find information about him online. I know he’s still alive because I don’t have a death certificate, but other than that no home address, no phone number, no nothing. Everything I know about him is from his childhood, before Mia-Rose went missing.”
“Something is better than nothing, what did you find?”
“Daniel Godfrey, born in 1965 to Mary and Dylan Godfrey. He was a decent kid from what I can tell. He got good grades in school, even got a scholarship to a college in Chicago but he turned it down at the last minute. I’ll hit you back if I figure out why.”
“Thanks Garcia,” you chirped before she hung up. You pulled up the long dirt drive of the McGilroy’s farm, putting the SUV in park and getting out. Spencer was by your side in an instant, you noticed the way his hand rested on his revolver.
“My goal is to get him in for a voluntary interview. If we can get him talking, we can figure out what happened that night and why his known locations on that night fit our timeline. Best case, we get a confession and the name of his partner, worst case, he had nothing to do with it and we’re back where we started.”
Spencer nodded, so you reached up to knock on the door. After a moment, a blonde woman opened the door.
You flashed your credentials, “hi, I’m SSA (y/l/n) with the FBI, we’re looking for Daniel Godfrey and we were told he might be here.”
“He’s out back in the barn,” she said, pointing down a gravel path.
“Thanks so much,” Spencer said as you stepped off the porch. You reached the barn and pushed open the large door, revealing a man inside. He was carrying a bucket of water that he poured into a trough for a horse before acknowledging you.
“What can I do ya for?”
“Are you Daniel Godfrey?” you asked.
“Depend’s who’s asking,” he chuffed, wiping his hands on his dirty coveralls. You held up your credentials.
“I’m Agent (y/l/n) and this is Doctor Reid. We’re with the FBI investigating the murder of your cousin, Mia-Rose Horn. We were hoping you’d come in to the station so we could get some more information about her.”
“What kinda information? Mia’s been dead a long time now.”
You had to play this carefully, one wrong word and he wouldn’t voluntarily interview with you, “your father told us you were out with friends the night she disappeared. We were hoping you could tell us what town was like that night and if you saw anything unusual.”
“You talked to my father? I can tell ya right now, it was quiet. Just like any other night in this town.”
“Great, that’s exactly the kind of information we’re looking for. Would you be able to come with us to the station so we can get that statement through the official channels? While we’re there I’d like to ask you a few more questions, if that’s ok.”
“Are ya saying I’m being arrested?”
“No, not at all. This is completely voluntary.”
Daniel fell silent, considering your offer. When he finally spoke again it was gruff and hostile, “will my old man still be there?”
You exchanged a glance with Spencer, hoping he had a better read on what answer would be your best choice. Spencer’s tongue flickered over his lips, then he cautioned a response, “he’s there right now, will that be a problem?”
Daniel looked dejected, scuffing his feet in the hay below his boots, “not unless he makes it a problem.”
“We’ll make sure that doesn’t happen. Our car is out front, is there anything you need to do before we go?”
Daniel shook his head and quietly followed you and Spencer back to the SUV. He didn’t say much while you were driving back to the police station, and neither did you. You escorted Daniel inside the station, walking quickly past where his father was sitting, still talking to the officer Reeves had assigned to your case. Dylan stood up when he noticed his son, but Daniel just kept his head down and quickened his pace. You brought him to an interrogation room, a small space with just a table and a couple of chairs.
“You can wait here, we just have to go collect some materials and then we’ll be back, alright?”
“Whatever,” Daniel said, taking the seat closest to the door. You stepped out, shutting the door behind you.
“Did you see the way Dylan reacted when he saw Daniel?” you asked Spencer quietly. He nodded.
“Did you see the way Daniel reacted when he saw Dylan?”
“Do you think it’s relevant to this case? I don’t want to waste time asking about it if it’s just some squabble they had once. Hotch said I could only work this case until we got an active one back at Quantico, and you and I both know serial killers don’t take extended vacations.”
Spencer considered the situation, you could almost see the gears turning in his mind, “it might be a way we can get him comfortable talking to us, irrelevant or not. This is the best lead we have. Just like you said earlier, you have to get him talking.”
You trusted Spencer’s opinion, not just because he was your best friend, but because he had led his fair share of interrogations during his time in the FBI. He was really good at it, his accelerated mind picking up patterns of words and behaviors that you could only be envious of.
“What do you mean ‘I’ have to get him talking? I thought this was a team effort.”
“It is, but you have to lead this interrogation.”
You weren’t surprised at his statement, but you resented the fact that he was right. Your favorite part of your job was the quick thinking, the on-the-fly deductions you had to make in the field that helped you put all of the clues together. You liked helping people and actively putting bad guys away for the greater good of the country you served. You were good at your job, too, having spent so much time developing your skills with arguably some of the best agents in the Bureau. You couldn’t not be good at your job surrounded by minds like the ones at the BAU.
Like everyone though, there were some aspects of your career that you were better at than others. You usually excelled in the takedown and arrests of suspects and left the mind games to your colleagues that were much better equipped to handle them. Sure, you could talk a suspect into putting their weapon down instead of pointing it at you or a victim, but that was a heat of the moment interaction. Cool, collected interrogation rooms just weren’t your strong suit, and nothing during your time at the BAU so far had changed it.
“You really think I can do this?”
“Absolutely. You have the skills, knowledge, and rapport to conduct this interview,” Spencer showed no hesitation in his answer.
“Promise to let me know if I’m going down the wrong rabbit hole?”
Spencer smiled, “of course. Let’s go solve this case.” He handed you a sheet of paper, a form for Daniel to sign with his Miranda rights on it.
Once you were seated across from Daniel, you handed him the paper and read him his rights.
“If you don’t mind me asking, Daniel, what happened between you and your father?”
Daniel’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked back and forth between you and Spencer, “what kind of FBI agents are you?”
“We’re with the Behavioral Analysis Unit in Quantico, Virginia. We use psychology to solve crimes. I hope my question wasn’t intrusive, Doctor Reid and I both just noticed the way your behavior changed when you saw your father. He’s been helpful in our investigation and I don’t want any family conflicts to interfere if you’re going to help us too.”
“We had a disagreement.”
“Just a disagreement?” you pressed carefully.
“Just a disagreement.”
“Alright,” you said, deciding to leave it at that and move on. He was giving you too much resistance for the direction you had wanted to take the conversation, so you changed the subject. If his disagreement with his father was relevant to the case, you’d have to get that information out of him another way.
You started off by asking about Mia-Rose and gathering any information Daniel had about her. At first he was reluctant, just explaining that they saw each other during family gatherings and when his father would drive them both home from band practice.
“You went to the same high school then, if you were in band together?”
“Uh huh. It’s a small town, everyone goes to the same school.”
“Can you tell us about who Mia-Rose spent time with? Who were her friends?”
“Everyone was her friend. She was the friendliest kid in school.”
“Who were your friends?” Spencer asked, tilting his head. It wasn’t a question you had thought to ask, but as soon as he did you saw where he was going.
“Does it matter?”
“It does to me,” Spencer answered.
“Alec Krause, Markus Sparrow, Nicolas Rush,” Daniel listed.
“Where are they now?” you asked while Spencer pulled out his phone, presumably to text Garcia for a background check, “are you still in contact with them?”
“They all moved out of town for college. Haven’t seen or talked to ‘em since,” Daniel shifted uncomfortably in his chair.
“You were supposed to go to college, in Chicago, right?” you prompted. Daniel’s eyes flickered between you and Spencer, probably wondering how much about him you knew.
“Yeah.”
“Why didn’t you go?”
“Got a job at the farm,” he shrugged.
“Daniel, I’m going to be real with you,” you squared up, “I’ve seen plenty of small towns in this job. I’ve talked to many people from small towns just like this one, and almost all of them in your position would have taken the out. They would have moved to the city as soon as they got the chance, so why didn’t you? Why did you choose to stay in this town?”
“I didn’t have a choice,” Daniel was quick to correct you.
“You didn’t?” Now you were on to something.
“The disagreement I had with my father was about me leaving. He wouldn’t let me leave, so he got me the job at the farm.”
“Alright, let’s take a break,” you said, standing up and stepping out of the room. Spencer exchanged a few words with Daniel, then followed you out.
“That was big,” you panted, trying to shake out the jump of adrenaline that you were feeling.
“You’re doing great,” Spencer confirmed.
“When Dylan was talking about his son earlier, during his interview, it seemed like he didn’t have control over Daniel. What was it he said, ‘you know how kids are’? Something must have changed to make Daniel listen to his father telling him to stay, something that changed after Mia-Rose was murdered.”
Right before you were going to go back into the interrogation room, your phone rang. Hotch’s name lit up the screen.
“Hold on, Spence. (y/l/n),” you answered, praying that Hotch wasn’t going to tell you to abandon the case and get back to Quantico right when you were making strides.
“I’m just checking in to see how things are going.”
“We’re talking to a person of interest right now, it’s just very slow going. We think he had been working with a partner when the murder took place, but he’s not giving up names,” you explained, “please don’t tell me we have a case that we have to come back for, we just got a break that might open this case up for us.”
Hotch chuckled on the other end of the line, “no, we don’t have a case. Garcia told me you had a lead and I was curious.”
“Honestly, I don’t know how you were a prosecutor before joining the BAU. This is exhausting, and every time I say something I feel like he’s going to invoke.”
“You’re doing fine,” Spencer whispered reassuringly.
“Spencer says I’m doing fine,” you relayed to Hotch.
“I’m sure you are. Sometimes unsubs like this take time to crack,” he reminded you.
“It’s already been thirty years, I’d like to close it now,” you decided, squaring your shoulders. “I’m going to go back in there and wrap this up. I’ll call you back when we’re done.” You hung up with Hotch, then turned to Spencer. “Let’s do this.”
Daniel seemed to tense up when you walked back in, sitting down across the table from him once again.
“Thanks for being patient, Daniel. I’d like to know why your father wouldn’t let you leave town. From what he told us, he gave you a lot of freedom in high school. What happened?”
“We had a disagreement, like I said.”
“Right, we’ve covered that. It must have been hard going from being able to do whatever you wanted to working a farm job under your father’s thumb. I was hoping you could tell us exactly what kind of disagreement. Was it because Mia-Rose was murdered?” Daniel nodded, “ok, that’s a start. Was there a specific reason beyond Mia-Rose’s murder?”
Your tactic was deliberate, validating his feelings before pressing harder in hopes that he would give something up.
“He didn’t want me getting into more trouble.”
“More trouble? As in, you got into trouble here first?”
“Correct.”
“We don’t have any police records for you, Mr. Godfrey. Usually that’s the kind of ‘trouble’ that stops kids from going to college,” Spencer chimed in.
“The police don’t know I was there.”
“Where?” Your question was burning hot, and you watched Daniel squirm as he realized he had dug himself into a hole.
“I was in the car.”
“Which car?” you hoped he meant the car you thought he did, but you needed a true confession.
“My father’s car…” you chose not to say anything and instead let him sit in uncomfortable silence, “the night Mia was killed.”
“With her? Was Mia in the car with you?”
“Yes, she was.”
You had to maintain your composure, even though your insides were doing cartwheels out of excitement. This was exactly the kind of lead you were looking for, you couldn’t blow it now.
“Your father said you were out with friends, were any of the people you mentioned earlier with you? Alec, Markus, and Nicholas?”
“No, it wasn’t with them.”
“Who else was in the car then, Daniel? It wasn’t just you and Mia-Rose.”
“I don’t remember,” he started backpedaling, a clear sign that you were closing in.
“We’re going to step out and give you some time to think about it, see if you can try to remember,” Spencer interrupted before you could say anything, nodding towards the door when you made eye contact with him. You followed him out, turning to him abruptly once the door was shut behind you.
“I was getting somewhere with him.” You were fired up, to say the least. Now that you were in the comfortable privacy of Spencer’s company, you could let your emotions come forward.
“I know, I know,” Spencer smirked, “Garcia got a hit with Daniel’s friends, we should call and see what she has so we have more leverage when we go back in there.”
You took a deep breath, pulling out your phone and calling Garcia.
“Boy Wonder got my text!” she answered after the first ring.
“What did you find, Garcia? We’re really making strides here and anything you’ve got could really close this for us.”
“I ran the names of Daniel’s friends, like you asked. Almost all of them checked out, normal guys with normal lives.”
“Almost all of them?” you caught the specificity of her words.
“Right. One of them, Markus, he checks out too… but his brother, oh my his brother has done some stuff.”
“What kind of stuff?” Spencer asked, brows furrowed in thought.
“Kyle Sparrow. When he was 11 he attempted to rob a bank, and not just as a joke. When he was 14 he was suspended from school after locking students in storage closets. He’s been in and out of jail his whole adult life. He got out a year ago and hasn’t been back since.”
“That fits our profile. How old was he when Mia-Rose was killed?” Spencer followed up.
“That’s where things get weird, I was hoping you guys would have a good explanation because this really doesn’t make sense.”
“Garcia,” you called, refocusing her.
“Right. Kyle Sparrow was 10 years old when Mia-Rose was murdered.”
“What?” you whipped around to look at Spencer incredulously, hoping he would have some kind of information about child serial killers that would clarify the situation. Instead, he just frowned and shook his head. You had to decide if it was worth bringing up to Daniel and risk wasting precious time. You considered for a moment, then spoke. “Send us his address, we’re going to ask Daniel about him. If he seems like a viable lead then we’ll head out there. Thanks Garcia.”
“Done and done. You’ve got this, crimefighters!”
“Are you ready to go back in there?” Spencer asked when you reached for the interrogation room door handle.
“Do I have a choice? This case just took a turn that I wasn’t expecting.”
“It’s been four hours and thirty six minutes. We can take another minute to get coffee if you need a longer break,” he suggested.
“I’m too close to cracking this. I can feel it,” you confessed. Spencer nodded, acknowledging that your gut feelings were usually right. You opened the door, sitting back down across from Daniel. Spencer stood in the corner behind you, hands in his pockets.
“Did you remember who was in the car with you the night Mia-Rose was murdered?” Daniel shook his head. “Ok, that’s fine. I have some names that we’ve collected as people of interest for this case. I’m going to read them off and you tell me if one sounds familiar, ok?” Daniel nodded, so you opened your file and pulled out a blank piece of paper, holding it so Daniel couldn’t see the lack of information on your side.
“Emily Prentiss.”
He shook his head.
“Derek Morgan.”
Again, nothing.
“Penelope Garcia.”
Your list was intentional, listing people you were certain Daniel wouldn’t know so you could get a baseline for his behavior. It paid off when you listed the next name, “Kyle Sparrow.”
You could practically see Daniel tense up. Though he shook his head, his leg started bouncing nervously and his eyes were flickering frantically around the room, looking anywhere but at you and Spencer.
“Daniel,” you started, keeping your voice low, “remember when I told you Doctor Reid and I use psychology and behavior to solve crimes? You may not have noticed it, but your behavior shifted when you heard Kyle’s name. You know something about him, don’t you? Was he in the car with you that night?”
Daniel finally looked up at you, eyes watering, “I’m not a criminal.”
“I didn’t say you were. Was Kyle in the car with you the night Mia-Rose was murdered?”
“He was just a kid, my best friend’s little brother. We were out in my dad’s car, I had just gotten my license so I skipped class and took Markus and Alec for a spin around town. When I dropped them off back home Kyle said he was lookin’ to go across town to the library so I offered him a ride. I even made him sit in the back because he was still just a small kid. Then we saw Mia walking home. It always took her longer because she stopped to say hi to everyone she passed. Kyle suggested we offer her a ride too, so I did.
“It all happened so fast, first she was getting into the car and then Kyle had a knife at her throat. He told me he’d kill her if I didn’t do what he wanted. He made me drive out of town to the woods and watch as he tied her up and did horrible, horrible things to her. I didn’t even know a kid was capable of doing those things. When he was done with her he made me help put her back in the car and drive to the bridge. She wasn’t dead when he made me push her over the edge, that’s why I didn’t throw her in the river. I thought she’d survive it without Kyle knowing because he was too busy getting rid of her stuff in the trunk. He still made me drop him off at the library after, even though it was closed on account of it being real late at night, and swear that I’d never tell anyone what we did or he’d kill me too.”
“How did your father find out?” you asked.
“He found blood in the car the next morning. I told him it was from Markus, that he had gotten scratched up while we were messing around in the afternoon. He made me clean it out with bleach, told me I’d have to learn responsibility if I wanted to move out. When my auntie called him later and told him about Mia being missing, he connected the dots. He told me he didn’t want to know what I had been doing the night before, but if I tried to move away it would make me a suspect. He got me the job at the farm and I’ve been there ever since.”
“Thank you for your honesty, Daniel. We’ll tell the court how cooperative you’ve been, they might ease your sentence because of it.”
“The court? What?” Pure fear crossed Daniel’s face. It didn’t sit right with you that he had to be arrested, knowing he had been coerced into helping murder his cousin, but he had still committed a felony. You had to let the court decide his fate.
“Daniel Godfrey, you’re under arrest for accessory to the murder of Mia-Rose Horn,” Spencer moved behind Daniel, taking his hands to cuff them. As soon as he was done Daniel was passed off to an officer and you and Spencer took off, SUV keys in hand.
You sped towards the home address Garcia had sent you for Kyle Sparrow, wishing the rest of the team was there so you could split up in case he was at work. This part of your job was where you felt the most comfortable, the tactical side of an arrest that was more physical than the mind games you had just played in the interrogation room. It was just starting to rain, a light drizzle that darkened the skies as you drove to what you hoped was your final location for this case.
“Is there Kevlar in the back?” you asked, realizing you hadn’t gotten vests from the police station before you had left. Spencer turned around in his seat, checking around the vehicle.
“Nope.”
“Great,” you sighed, “let’s try not to get shot at then, alright?”
“Sounds good to me,” Spencer agreed.
You pulled up to Kyle’s house, which was more of a rundown shack on the outskirts of town. You drew your weapon as soon as your boots were on the ground, approaching the door cautiously.
“Where’s Morgan when you need him,” you mumbled, hoping you wouldn’t have to kick the door down, “Kyle Sparrow, FBI,” you announced, knocking on the door. A gunshot flew through the window next to you, shattering the glass. That was all the invitation you needed to bust open the door, but Kyle wasn’t in the room inside. You moved quickly through the maze of rooms, taking one side while Spencer took the other.
“Clear,” you called every time you ensured a room was empty. You heard Spencer clear a couple of spaces, then fall silent. You worked your way to the kitchen, finding him in a standoff with Kyle.
“I’m not going to jail again. You can’t make me,” Kyle seemed unreasonably calm, grinning slightly to himself while he pointed a pistol at Spencer.
“You’re wanted for the murder of Mia-Rose, Kyle. There’s no way to get out of this one,” you had to keep things simple for him and talk him down as quickly as possible before he shot at you again, “let’s just talk about it.”
“I don’t want to talk about it. I’m not going to jail for a person I killed thirty years ago.”
“There’s no other option. We know it was you, this ends here.”
“If I have to go back, it has to be for something better. You’re right, this ends here, but not because I killed Mia-Rose Horn.”
“How does it end, Kyle?” Spencer asked. You noticed the glint in Kyle’s eye, giving you a split second to push Spencer out of the way and get hit with a searing pain in your side. You heard Spencer’s revolver fire as you hit the floor.
“Get him first,” you grunted, putting a hand on your side to try to stem the bleeding. Spencer crouched next to you, worried eyes looking you over before he pulled your handcuffs out of your pocket. Your ears were ringing, but you could just make out the sounds of Spencer talking before you blacked out.
You woke up in the hospital, an all too familiar experience. Spencer was beside you, nose in a book. You weren’t sure how much he was paying attention to it though, considering the way his brows were furrowed and his fingers were tapping against the cover. He was lost in thought somewhere, you just didn’t know where.
“Spence,” you managed to croak through your dry throat. His eyes shot up from the page, lips turning up in a small smile when his gaze met yours.
“Hi,” he practically whispered.
“Is Kyle dead?”
Spencer hesitated, no doubt weighing the value of telling you the outcome now or waiting until you were better rested. He chose the former, shaking his head.
“I did what you would have done and shot him in the hip. He’s not dead, and once he’s healed he’ll go to trial. You did it, (y/n). You solved the case.”
“We solved the case. I couldn’t have done this without you.”
“You also wouldn’t have gotten shot.”
“So?” you shrugged, “I lived. Where’s Garcia? Usually she’s the first one at the hospital.”
Spencer’s smile returned, “she wanted to but a case came in right right after you went into surgery. She sends her love and said she’d make up for not being here when we get back to Quantico.”
“A case? We should get back to help,” though you were exhausted, you brain immediately went into profiling mode.
“No, you’re going to stay here and rest. You should be staying for longer than you’re going to, but I was able to convince your doctor that I was more than capable of making sure you got home safely.”
“I didn’t realize you were a rule-breaker,” you teased, feeling your eyelids droop.
“I’m not, I just thought you would want to go home as soon as possible. You’re not the kind of person who likes being away from their family, and we’ve already been gone three days. Staying here doing nothing, although it would be good for you, would just torment you more.”
“Thanks, Spence,” you murmured, falling back to sleep. You dozed on and off for the better part of the day, Spencer staying by your side the whole time. Towards the end of the afternoon, you woke up to his seat vacant. The immediate panic you felt was squashed by calculated thoughts, he’s probably getting food or in the bathroom. You fought to stay awake while you waited for him to come back. He surprised you by returning with someone behind him.
“Mrs. Horn wanted to talk to you, if you’re feeling up for it,” he said, resuming his position in the chair next to you. You nodded, watching the older woman enter the room from where she had been standing in the doorway.
“I wanted to thank you for finding my daughter’s killer, even though it put you in the line of danger.”
“I’d do it again in a heartbeat,” you reassured her, sitting up a little against your pillows.
“I wish her father could have been here to see it solved. He always told me not to lose faith, that a blessing would come our way. You were our blessing,” she dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief.
“I was just doing my job, I’m sorry it took so long for someone to figure this out.”
Mrs. Horn tutted, telling you she was just glad that her daughter could rest in peace now. Before she left, she made sure to tell you that if you were ever in Illinois you and Spencer were welcome to come over for dinner, and that she hoped you got better quickly so you could go help other victims.
Once she was gone, your doctor came in to follow up with you. You had been shot in the side, the bullet passing through and exiting out of your back without hitting any major organs. Spencer did most of the talking for you, asking questions you couldn’t make sense of and checking over your chart for what was probably the hundredth time that day.
“You seem to be healing well and have a… knowledgable… support system, so I’m going to clear you for discharge. If anything changes you’ll need to go into the nearest hospital, ok?”
“Yes ma’am,” you answered. A nurse came in later with your discharge papers, which you signed before Spencer helped you in a wheelchair and out to where the SUV was parked.
“Are you sure you want to drive in this rain? I can-“ you winced in pain, hand flying to your side, “I can do it if you don’t feel comfortable.” Spencer stifled a laugh, reaching his hands out to give you something to brace yourself against as you moved from the wheelchair the SUV.
“I don’t mind driving,” he said simply.
“Yes you do,” you quipped quickly, exhaling as you settled into the passenger seat.
“Ok, yes. Under normal circumstances, I do mind driving, but I think I can make an exception when my favorite driver has been shot.”
“Don’t let Morgan hear you say that,” you smirked, still struggling to breathe in a way that would make your side hurt less.
“Are you warm enough?” Spencer fiddled with the heating knobs once he was settled behind the wheel. You nodded, but the shiver that ran down your body betrayed you.
“You’re the one driving. I want you to be comfortable,” you mumbled.
“You’re the one who just got shot. Here,” he reached behind him into the back where both of your go bags were stored. He unzipped his own and pulled out a cardigan, then leaned over the console to drape it across you. “The wool will help you retain heat.”
“Thanks,” you sighed, relishing in the comfort of his gesture.
“You didn’t have to take that bullet for me.”
“I did. I pulled you into this mess, I wasn’t going to let you get hurt because of it.”
“Hotch sent me with you so that you wouldn’t get yourself hurt,” he rebutted.
You brushed him off, “I’ve been shot before, I’m going to be fine.”
“I’ve also been shot before, you didn’t have to push me out of the way.”
You were quick to counter, “you didn’t have to push Blake out of the way either.”
It was an unnecessary squabble, a fact you both caught onto quickly once you realized the direction the conversation was going. Instead, Spencer changed the subject to explain the history of the small towns you were passing through on your way to the interstate.
Miraculously, once the car was comfortably cruising on the highway, Spencer fell silent. You suspected it had to do with his intense concentration on driving in the elements as the rain got harder, though he also could have been giving you the space to sleep if you needed to.
It wasn’t until you were over an hour into your journey that he spoke again, after a quick glance at you revealed fresh tear tracks down your cheeks under the passing street lights.
“(Y/n), are you crying?” His question was so soft you almost missed it, “is it the pain? You’re not due to take your meds for another three hours but I know you have ibuprofen in your bag that would be ok to take now. I can pull over-“ his hand was about to move back to the steering wheel from where it had come to rest on the console, but you reached out to grab it instead.
You and Spencer didn’t really ‘do’ physical contact. You both had reasons not to, instead finding comfort just in proximity. As long as he was around, you were happy. This time, though, it was different. Maybe it was because you were touch starved, or because you had just been poked and prodded at all angles while in the hospital. Whatever the reason, the light grip you had on Spencer’s hand to stop him from pulling over was enough to make you feel the tiniest bit better. He was there with you, he was real.
“It’s not the pain,” you managed to hold your composure, knowing that letting any kind of sob escape the confines of your soul would only physically hurt you more.
“Are you tired? I drank enough coffee to get us home by morning but if you really need to sleep we can find a hotel somewhere. There are three off the next exit.”
“Spencer,” you ran your thumb over the prominent vein in his hand, “it isn’t something you can fix.”
“What do you mean?” He was puzzled, and by the way his hands were twitching you could tell he was deciding whether or not to stop the car anyways.
“There are hundreds of thousands of cold cases. Hundreds of thousands of families that don’t have closure. Hundreds of thousands of victims that haven’t gotten justice.”
“There’s one less because of you. You made a difference to Mia-Rose’s family, you got her the justice she deserves.”
“She deserved justice thirty years ago. I feel like the system failed her, the very system I work for. She was just a kid, and the answer was right there the whole time. Why did I have to be the one to figure it out, thirty years too late?”
Spencer’s response was soft and gentle, “because you’re exceptional, (y/n).”
“I didn’t have to be exceptional to solve this case, though. That’s what I’ve learned from all of the cold case documentaries I’ve watched. The ones that get solved are because someone knew what happened and didn’t come forward about it until years later. There was a psychopathic kid on the streets for thirty years because the police didn’t think to talk to Daniel Godfrey.”
“We can’t change what happened in the past, but we can make a difference in our futures.”
“I’m just so tired, Spence. I chose this job, I love this job, but it’s exhausting.”
“Then rest, (y/n). It’s ok if the only person you save some days is yourself.”
He was right, of course. You wanted to keep saving others, but you couldn’t do that if you didn't make time to save yourself too. You finally closed your eyes and pulled his cardigan up to your chin. Though you were still conscious, limiting your sensory input helped calm you down enough that you found yourself flitting in and out of dissociation. Even when Spencer’s hand gently moved out from under yours to answer his phone, you kept your eyes closed.
“Hey JJ,” his voice was quiet, barely audible over the rain pounding against the windshield, “they’re doing ok.” He paused while he listened to JJ’s response. “No, they keep reminding me that it’s not the first time they’ve been shot. I’m worried about them though.” He trailed off.
“They’ve been shouldering this burden of over 185,000 cold cases since we started working on this one, and now that it’s solved they’re finally feeling the weight of it. I don’t want them to drive themselves crazy trying to solve all of them on their own. We deal with enough active cases as it is.”
Though you were barely in a state of mind to process his words, he had hit the nail right on the head.
“How is the case you’re working on?” You presumed JJ was filling him in on what they knew, “have Garcia look into large purchases of triacetone triperoxide… Call me if anything changes. We should be back by morning.”
“Yes,” his change in tone indicated that JJ had asked him a question, “that would be great, JJ. Thank you so much.”
He must have hung up with JJ because his hand found yours again, fingers just barely touching. It was a simple action, loaded with a lot of meaning. Spencer was your best friend, and would always be your best friend. Bullets, cold cases, marriages, there was nothing that could break the bond you had with him.
You didn’t understand why people called their significant others their “better half”. It insinuated that you weren’t a whole person to begin with, a fractured existence that only found completion by the means of someone else. The idea that your life couldn’t be fulfilling until someone else made it whole was a concept that was set up for failure and self-loathing.
Instead, you believed that you were a whole person who could live a fulfilling life without the necessity of another. Instead, you surrounded yourself with people who lifted you up and helped you achieve your goals without being the direct cause of your success. Instead, you followed your dreams and somehow found Spencer Reid along the way.
Spencer was your best friend, your confidant, the one person who you knew you couldn’t live without, but he was not your other half. He was his own whole person, a mirror image of your own being. You found solace in his companionship, safety in the complexities of his brain. When the stress of your job got to be too much, you could reliably turn to each other and exist in the little slice of the world you called yours for a moment.
No, he was not your other half. He wasn’t even yours, for that matter, but he was there. He was there in a capacity that nobody else could achieve.
This is part of my GALAXY universe! If you liked this relationship, check out the MASTERLIST for more content!
Galaxy Taglist: @kermitsaysgayrights @niallthedancingharry @shadyladyperfection  @thatsonezesty13  @lexshead @ceeellewrites @howdycharlie @girlycakepops @fantastic-fans @canimarrypizzaornah @daisyflower138 @dyingrexx @taylormobley @bazzleslynn @tj-drinks-tea @willa-wonky @eddiesbifocals @tee-mbrown @reniescarlett @bone-hurty-bitch @messyacademia
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whitelacepants · 3 years
Text
Title: Saturated and Inflated
Word count: 1,017
Pairing: Percy/Nico, kinda
Summary: Nico doesn't think Annabeth is a good partner, so he calls her out on it.
ahhhh i finally did it! so this is my little fic thing, i hope you guys like it. i know it's bad, this is the first thing i've written in like 6 years, but pls be nice >_<
for background, nico just tried to off himself but failed, that's why everyone's there in his cabin, and that's why nico confronts annabeth about her behavior, bc he doesn't think he's gonna be around much longer to see the fall out. it's from nico's pov so the italics are his thoughts. this takes place like, 3 years after the earth war, trials of apollo doesnt exist :)
okie dokie, happy reading, let me know what you think ;3
(edit: i just realized the fuckin ages are off in this part ohmygAWD they're supposed to be like 19-21 throughout the whole thing, im sorry i cant do math 😭)
__________
"Has she ever once told you that you were intelligent?" 
The room stills.
I'm gonna die soon anyways so I may as well rock the boat.
"What?" Percy asks.
Will sat a little ways away from Nico on his bed, Percy, Annabeth, Jason, and Piper huddled in front of him on the floor. Piper holds onto Jason's arm like a lifeline while Jason tries his best to remain calm, keeping his face neutral. Confused, Percy takes a breath in to respond, but of course Annabeth has to butt in, because apparently Percy can't think for himself now-
"Nico, what are you talking about? Of course I've mentioned it before-"
"I wasn't asking you." Nico says with a hard edge to his voice. She pauses, her mouth open in shock, before abruptly clicking her mouth shut. Piper and Jason stare on in silence.
He turns his attention back to Percy.
"Percy." Nico pleads quietly. The boy in question had been staring at the floor in front of him with a far away look, presumably trying to remember something that might help his girlfriend's case. Upon further inspection, he looked less "far away" and more...conflicted. Finally, he lifts his head to look into Nico's eyes.
"No. No, she's never...no."
Ah, that's what I thought.
"Has she ever told you that you were pretty?"
Percy startles at the question.
"Pretty?" He asks, as if Nico was insane for even implying that that was something he could actually be, and shakes his head.
"No, no one's ever...called me pretty before."
An absolute shame. It's been 7 years and he's still as stunning as the day i saw him.
Nico looks Percy in his eyes and says,"I'd call you pretty everyday if I could. I'd tell you that you were intelligent everyday until you believed it. Until you could say it yourself," Nico says longingly, slightly desperate but mostly just defeated. The group stares at him in shock. Makes sense. He's not really one to pour his heart out like this, but he may as well keep going. What's he got to lose? Looking down at his hands clenched in the bedsheets in front of him, he continues.
"You don't value him."
Annabeth bristles. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me," Nico responds in a clipped tone, glaring at her. "You know, for an Athena kid, you're really fucking dense. You don't value him. You treat Percy like he's the bane of your existence and call it "feminism" instead of what it actually is. It's borderline fucking abusive." He ignores the angry scoff Annabeth throws his way and keeps going, her annoyance egging him on. "We all know he was a replacement for Luke anyways, it's not like you hide it very well. That being said, you can't expect him to act like somebody else and then turn around and reprimand him for being his own person." He steels himself. "I know what happened in Tartarus a couple years ago."
"What?" Percy asks in a strained voice.
"Yeah, I found out a couple months after the war was over."
"How did you find out?"
Maybe I'll tell him eventually but. Not today.
"It's not important. I saw the way she used to look at you, and I see the way she looks at you now. It's different than before, more cautious, more...calculated." 
Holy fuck.
He looks up directly into Annabeth's eyes, hit with a realization.
"You're waiting for him to turn on you, just like Luke did, aren't you? That's why you keep him on such a short leash."
She snaps.
"You have no clue what you're fucking talking about!" She stands up, looking ready to fight. Percy holds her back by her arm.
"Oh, I don't?!"
"No, Percy is perfectly fine with me!"
"Annie-" Percy starts.
"Annabeth, he can not breathe with you! Can't you see that?!"
"Nico-" he tries again, but to no avail.
Piper's grip on Jason becomes a little tighter and he reciprocates the action. Will's got his own arms wrapped around himself.
"Fuck, he would do anything for you, and you're taking advantage of that! You call him a stupid fucking nickname and plan out the rest of his life for him knowing good and gods damned well that he's not gonna say anything about it because he wants to keep you happy!" he shouts, starting to feel light headed, his vision getting spotty.
She responds with a hard edge to her voice,"At least I'm not hopelessly in love with a guy that will never give a shit about me."
"Alright, that's enough!" Percy screams. It takes Nico a second to realize that he's shivering. They all are, except for him.
I lost control again. Fuck.
"We're all here today because we want to keep Nico alive, making him scream and cry until he passes out isn't gonna help," Percy says, desperation leaking into his voice. He pulls Annabeth's arm and she sits, albeit reluctantly.
"I'm not-" but when Nico brings a hand up to wipe his face, he's surprised to find that it comes away wet. 
"Oh."
Well that's embarrassing. But I guess it doesn't matter now.
He sniffs at the snot threatening to run from his nose as he swipes at his face with his hands, wiping the fallen tears away. He then presses his palms into his eye sockets, willing the fresh tears to stay put. When he pulls his hands away, his skin colors from irritation and the bags under his eyes are more prominent. He's exhausted, and he says as much.
"I'm going to sleep. Sorry about the temperature change." He apologizes, and moves to lie under his covers, stopping propped up on one elbow. Looking at the floor, he lets out a sigh.
"Hey, Percy?"
"Yeah?"
Nico's hands clench where he's holding his sheets.
"You're one of the smartest and most beautiful people I've ever met." He says in a soft voice, then louder,"And, in regards to the Tartarus thing, I'm here if you ever wanna talk about it with someone who actually understands." He finally looks up at Percy. Percy stares at him for a moment before nodding with an affirmative hum. 
With that, he turns toward the wall and fully lays down, throwing the blanket over his head.
____________
part 2
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ladyartemesia · 3 years
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Yooo your love story straight out seems like an e2l slow burn tumblr fic. Do you have any plans using at as a plot?? I would def read it 👀
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I don’t know if I would truly call it enemies-to-lovers because—although I got irritated with him and his behavior and did snap at him from time to time—we were not really enemies. In fact we were barely friends for most of the years we knew each other—
Well.
Ok. So that’s not totally true...
We fought online constantly. From the time we graduated college (where his crush first developed and I routinely forgot his name) the two of us were always fighting on social media—usually about politics—and occasionally about other things but both of us were too smart to ever truly get the better of each other so there was a grudging respect, (his mom said he used to yell at his computer screen about me). We had it OUT several times online even though we rarely—if ever—spoke in person.
My poor sweet boy DID get himself in trouble over me in more ways than one though—even if we’re weren’t close yet...
His college girlfriend set him up to fail asked him who he would date if the two of them weren’t together and he answered immediately—vehemently—
“Viola. I would definitely date Viola if I could.”
🤦🏻‍♀️ (oh...honey...no)
(That would become a huge THING in their relationship. Every time they got into a fight his ex would shout “why don’t you just go date VIOLA then?!”—When he married me he said he felt like a real winner in that particular collection of conflicts. Playing the long game I guess 🤣😂)
Back then I was all about the music/dramatic arts scene and I was dating a string of empty headed pretty boys who bored me nigh unto death because I was young and completely stupid.
In contrast my someday-boo was painfully quiet and shy (though not really with me because he was too busy trying to prove me wrong), but everyone who met him or spoke to him really liked him and respected him.
After college we were were still in the same extended social circle (and—as previously mentioned—fighting online), but I went to grad school and my not-yet-husband decided to chill for awhile and take a job as a landscaper while he figured his life out and... here’s where it gets complicated because...
—that’s where the girls came in. You see... he’s always been a really nice guy... maybe a little too nice 🤦🏻‍♀️
The term fuqboi tends to conjure up impressions of a cocky frat bro who slyly shags his way through a mountain of willing women with disconnected efficiency and a subtext of emotional constipation.
But that would not be the case here.
You see my husband is a listener. He’s an INFP. He, unlike many of his brethren, understands emotions and can really make a woman feel seen. Combine that with his good looks, brilliant mind, and broody nerditude and you have a recipe for women who were ‘just friends’ randomly dropping to their knees (and a lot more) for him.
Never one to stand in the way of a lady’s dreams, pre-me-hubby figured that if they were that determined to (*insert miscellaneous sexy stuff here*) with him then—well—he’d let them.
I mean why not, right? No harm done.
Wrong. 🤬
And here is where our paths truly began to merge (in the real world) for the first time.
As the FOURTH girl (just in my friend group) he graciously allowed (🤦🏻‍♀️) to have her wicked way with him sobbed in my arms, I became determined to put this ridiculous man-child IN his PLACE—this time in the tactile world as well as the virtual one.
...Poor Liz
She realized that he had absolutely no desire whatsoever to be in a relationship with anything other than his WoW account and she was insistent that he had broken her heart.
So I cornered him and we had it out. (Call me meddlesome, but to be fair he was four friends deep at this point.)
The problem was that... the more I talked to him...the more he was not really what I expected... I found myself...oddly...intrigued?
Later it would come out that I was the first girl—ever—that he actually pursued. And I was not even aware of it for like the first three months.
He was pretty slick after all when it came down to it.
That man convinced me to ‘help him’ with women—to make sure he didn’t get himself into another situation where some girl with heart eyes was tearing off his clothes and expecting commitment.
HE ASKED ME TO BE HIS ‘EXCUSE.’
🤦🏻‍♀️(...I know. I’m an idiot.)
“We can hang out. You’ll teach me how to spot if a girl is about to catch feelings and take off my pants. And I will have an excuse when they call as to why we can’t hang out” (—and ...they really were always calling. It was wild.)
....I mean he WAS shy! It SEEMED plausible!
So yeah my dim self agreed to it. (🤦🏻‍♀️)
I considered it a valiant attempt to save the rest of my social circle from the most clueless ‘accidental’ fuqboi on planet earth and maybe even an opportunity to teach him how to be a real human being and what not.
And before you think ‘fake dating’—we weren’t. We were just hanging out as friends. You see when I went to yell at him (and chased him down after he laughed at me and tried to escape) we ended up talking in his car for like four hours. And then that happened like three more times randomly so... I... actually... wanted... to be his friend... 🤷🏻‍♀️
I was still 110% not interested romantically.
Your girl (me) was after some bland banker dude (🤦🏻‍♀️) and so I blissfully fell into friendship with my actual soulmate without a single second thought. And I never worried about either of us catching feelings because I had a crush on someone else and he had heavily implied that I was not his type. (He told me later that I just assumed this and he simply never corrected me 🙄)
I don’t remember falling for him. I never decided to. I never thought about it...
But one day after the whole crew was hanging out at a restaurant (and the waiter kept giving me free drinks which may have pissed my once-and-future man off) the two of us went out to his car to have our customary three hour post-chill chat...
I was teasing him about something—some girl he was still attempting to untangle himself from—and I said—as had become my habit (seriously I said this so many times as a joke)—“It’s too bad I’m not your type—you could just tell her you have a girlfriend.”
(Now. I know what you’re thinking. But I was still firmly on team platonic ok! I was just a flirt. And maybe part of me was starting to feel weird things about him—but those feelings weren’t like anything I recognized so I thought I just needed to cut back on sugar or something.)
(Have I mentioned I’m an idiot?)
ANYWAYS he looked me right in the eye. So serious. And instead of saying “that’s too bad”—LIKE he ALWAYS did—he said—
“You...are my type, Viola... You’re exactly my type.”
To which I responded—“....What? No I’m not. You said I wasn’t.”
“Never said that. You assumed.”
“You LET me!”
—followed by a good ten minutes of me having an existential crisis/yelling at him for allowing me to believe he didn’t find me attractive and lulling me into a false sense of security. He was infuriatingly unapologetic.
At the end of it all he asked me to give him—give us—a chance.
And I agreed to go out on a few dates with him (mostly to prove to myself that there was nothing there).
(🤦🏻‍♀️)
The only thing I ended up proving was that I was wrong about what I wanted and even more wrong about what I needed.
You see...
Those weird feelings turned out to be love.
(🤦🏻‍♀️)
And it was a really special experience to sit in a room full of girls who had cried in my arms over him—girls I had lectured repeatedly on the dangers of his heartless ways— and admit that I was his girlfriend.
🤦🏻‍♀️
Love was—and continues to be—nothing like I expected and frankly I couldn’t be happier.
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... to answer your questions
1. I have considered writing a fic based on our story called Broken Road. The title is taken from an old Rascal Flatts song that—as insanely cheesy as it is—really reminds me of us. Don’t know if I will actually write this. Thought about it a lot though.
2. Tags I would use for this story?
#enemies-to-lovers / #idiots-to-lovers / #college au / #outgoing!fem reader(me) x shy nerd!accidental fuqboi / #reader is also a huge nerd actually / #she’s just a loud one / #frenemies-to-lovers / #the love is requited / #they’re just idiots / #pining (his) / denial (mine) / #reader has terrible taste in men / #except for that last one / #she really redeemed herself there at the end
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