#< stupid dream tag i came up with a long time ago

[invisibleoctopus]

just remembered i had another salmon run dream. idk why my brain came up with this very vertical salmon run stage with all the inkabke walls and stuff. NOT ruins of ark polaris but maybe like. a very heavily remodeled saltspray rig.

i remember it was in the middle of the day which thinking about it thats weird bc the salmon run stages are always at sunset when u play in game. thats probably how i was able to explore the stage like i kept expecting salmonids (especially the steel eels) to show up and they. didnt. were we in recon?? (i had trammates with me i guess)

anyway i got to the top of this stage and there was a tower like from tower control. oh yeah and i guess my teammate had gotten there before me and got on the tower because i saw it deactivate and go back up to the top

[wishing-on-a-staranise]

You, Me, Lonely.

(s.h. x reader)

from the river to the sea (educate yourself and help however you can)

Summary: you love Steve, Steve loves you. But maybe you both want different things from life.

Warnings/tags: reader menstruates (reader has uterus), abandonment issues, the ‘six nuggets’ talk, suggestive

Word count: 3.4k

masterlist

a/n: huge huge huge thanks to @procrastinationprincesses for helping me out with this fic and giving it an ending (ur amazing sanjana <3)

writing and posting something because i might have to go MIA for a lil bit (miss me while I'm gone will ya?)

fic is inspired by ‘You, Me, Lonely’ by FIZZ i absolutely love this song like its so close to my heart ughh what can i say I'm a little bitter about the six nuggets scene 

also if you couldn't tell already I have major abandonment issues and an anxious avoidant attachment style. It will reflect in what i write soz :(

In the quiet of the night, you wish for this to last forever. That you'll have him forever.

When you came out of the shower you found him asleep on his side of the bed. His side– the one closer to the door. ‘so I can protect you from anyone who'll try to steal you from me’, he had justified it when you asked him why he was adamant on that side.

you had turned off the bedside lamp ten minutes ago, slipped under the duvet, as quietly as possible so as to not wake him up. on your side of his bed. your bed.

He always sleeps on his stomach, one hand under his pillow and the other extended a little towards yours. His body moves with steady and slow breaths, back rising and falling under the covers, head peeking out from under the rumpled up duvet. his cheeks are squished against the pillow cover. His hair is a mess from the lack of hair product, and still damp from the shower he took before you. There's a few strands of his brown hair sprawled across his forehead too. With your softest touch you brush them away from his eyes.

You wonder what he was dreaming. you hope it was something nice. He looks calm, at peace, and very, very pretty.

You look at him and you know you love him. You want to love him forever.

Love had never seemed like the type of thing you’ll get– like it wasn't meant for you. But then you met him. This boy. This boy who you never thought to be your type. You never thought you even had a type. But his boyish charm and stupid grin won you over.

Your heart doesn't skip beats around him anymore, and you’d think that that means he doesn’t have that same effect on you anymore but that would be wrong. You don’t think you’ve ever loved anyone as much as you do to him. You don’t look at him and get butterflies in your stomach, you look at him and… you’re sure. your heart is quiet and sure. You don't think you’ve ever been sure before.

You want to be sure forever.

He feels like the comfortable still of rain after a scorching hot summer, like the calm and cold breeze that cools you down. Like standing at the top of the mountain, looking at the clouds and valleys below, he feels like the crisp air that fills your lungs. Like the comfort meal your mom makes– the one you can never really recreate, the one that tastes the best when it comes from her. 

You love him and you know. You know. You know he likes you, loves you even. 

Steve Harrington loves you like a dream, and you're worried that one day he’ll wake up, look at you and realise that he deserves so much better. He’ll wake up and he’ll leave for work and he’ll bump into a pretty angel of a girl with a disposition as bright as his. And he’ll never return. people fall out of love. People fall out of love all the time.

You wish for him to love you forever.

How long is a forever anyway?

You wonder what it'll be like. When you're older, with wrinkles, white hair and weaker limbs. 

It's like you see it.

You and him in a bed– just like now but older, wiser, more tired. His back turned to you. There'd be distance between you two, you’d want to move closer and hold him– but you wouldn't. You’d just stare at the back of his head, counting all the grey hairs you’d memorised like all the moles and wrinkles on his skin.

You’d notice his breathing, the rise and fall of his chest and you would have known him so long and so well that you'd just know that he wasn't actually asleep. you'd know why he wasn't asleep.

there'd be a pain in your chest. You would know what it is, why its there. You would gulp and try not to think about it.

“Do you always stare at me in my sleep?” his groggy voice pulls you out of your own head.

You blink, multiple times. Forever, right.

He softly smiles up at you. You blink away before moving to lay on your back, the sheets rustling with your movement. “sorry I woke you up”, you mumble an apology, staring at the ceiling, you fail to hide the shake in your voice.

“Y’kay?” 

“Yeah.” the sheets beside you ruffle but you keep your eyes trained on the ceiling. it seems inevitable. You know, one day it'll happen and despite having expected it, it’ll be the greatest heartbreak of them all. 

“Thinking ‘bout somethin’?” he sounds a bit more awake.

“When am I not?” you shake your head and laugh hoping he doesn't notice that it isn't real, thankful that the curtains didn't let in any moonlight and that you had turned off the lights.

“What is it?” but this is Steve, he doesn’t need to see you to know how you’re feeling.

“Nothing.”

“Were you lying about liking the pasta I made?”

“No, Steve it was good”, a real laugh slips out of you, and you finally look at him. He’s leaning on his elbow, the messy head of hair in his hand, looking down at you. You suddenly wish it wasn’t so dark so you could see the colour of his eyes, the moles and freckles on his skin.

“Then what?”

“Nothing.” your gaze moves back to the ceiling.

“Must be something if it's keeping you up”, you feel him shift closer to you. He smells of fresh shower, mint, shaving cream and washed laundry. 

“No, I'm just….  not sleepy.”

“Yeah?”, he raises his eyebrows with a sly smirk, “Well, I know a way to make you sleepy”, he leans down– both arms caging you in, landing a kiss on your neck before trailing further up to your lips. and its lovely, so god damn lovely, you don't want it to stop but this hurts.

“Ste– mmph– Steve stop”, you turn your face away, because if he keeps going, you think you'll cry, palm pushing flat against his bare chest, “I’m– I'm not in the mood.”

“Okay, I'm sorry”, he moves back onto his one elbow. The silence gestates for a while, you can feel his eyes on you. The ticking of the clock is the only thing heard through the room before he softly says, “Hey, please tell me what's happening?”

“Nothing”, you shook your head, “I’m just tired.”

“You just said you're not sleepy.”

“J– just go back to sleep okay? sorry for waking you up”, you turn onto your side, face away from him. 

He sidles up behind you after a second or two, warm breath across the back of your neck, you squeeze your eyes shut. “yeah, like that's gonna put me to sleep", he mutters behind you.

His arms snake around your waist, pulling you in closer, “C'mon, you know I wont be able to sleep after fighting”, burying his nose in your hair– he sighed.

“Did you just sniff my hair?”

“Yeah, I do all the time. smells s’good."

"You pervert", you both laugh lightly at that, your hand going for his around your waist, before your smiles fall and silence takes over once again. 

You lick your drying lips, you forgot to put on lip balm again, “We’re not fighting, Steve.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

You take in a deep breath in, fingers drawing patterns on the back of his hand, you breath out, “m’sorry.”

His arms squeeze tighter around you, he lets out a quick sigh before placing a kiss on your shoulder, “I’ll forgive you if you tell me what’s going on with you.”

“Steve…”, your voice trails off, you're not even sure what you were going to say.

“Is it— Is it your…. Uh, that time of the month?”

That makes you want to roll your eyes at him and smack his chest but you restrain yourself, you’re not sure if you want him to see your eyes right now anyway. Instead, you sigh,  “I had it last week, Steve.”

You got it in this very same bed. Awoken by cramps in the middle of the night. and Steve, your lovely Steve had given you a hot water bag while he took off the sheets and put on fresh new ones and then gave you a soft massage that put you to sleep.

“right... yeah, sorry," he says all sheepish, “So what is it then? Did someone say somethin’ at work?”

“No.”

“Did I.. " he hesitated a little, "did I say something?”

“...no”, you curse yourself for pausing before saying it.

“I did, didn't I?”

“No, no. you–”

“honey, you should tell me if I ever say stupid shit– you should call me out immediately–”

“You didn't say anything stupid or whatever. I'm the one who's being stupid.”

his hold on you loosened, he shifted back to give you space to turn around, “What did I say? Hey, look at me,” you finally turn in his hold, facing him “what did I say?”

“We’d have the cutest little kids, won't we?”

“..what?” You stood infront of the kitchen sink. your hands stopped their scrubbing at the pot you were washing. You tilted your head towards him who had his head rested on your shoulder, his arms around your waist.

“Little Harringtons”, you could hear the smile on his lips.

“Harringtons?”

“Or maybe we get our names hyphenated. That works too, it’d be cute”, his hands hold your waist, his duty of drying the plates abandoned. “They’d have my fabulous hair, and your pretty, pretty eyes– cutest kids around the block”

“Our kids?” you repeated dumbly.

“Yeah, and six of ‘em. six little nuggets. They’ll make up half of a football team”, he giggled, warm air hitting the side of your face, “Doesn’t that sound lovely?” he smiled at you.

“...yeah. Yeah, it does.” you smiled back at him which only made him grin wider. His arms tighten around you again, and lips start a trail from behind your ears to down your neck.

You scoffed softly "You’re supposed to help me wash dishes you filthy animal." 

“Oh, fine,” he gave you an over dramatic sigh, before his hands left your sides, skin feeling lonely as ever.

“No, it's fine. I’m almost done anyway", you went back to scrubbing at the bottom of the pot, "Just go and take a shower, you reek.”

“Alright, fine, I’ll go!” he groaned, playfully as a kid, before he leaned against the counter, looking at you with his ‘Harrington charm’. His voice is silky when he asks, “Will you join me?”

“Steve." you said it almost as a warning.

“I don’t hear a no.”

“Okay then, no.”

“Tomorrow morning…?”

“I have an early shift tomorrow, you horndog.”

“We'll make it work.”

“No.”

“Okay", he sighs, “come up quickly though, I wanna be the big spoon today”, pecking your cheek before leaving for the shower upstairs.

Looking at him, you brush the now mostly dry hair falling on his forehead, tucking it behind his ear. Your fingers lingered there, you smile, “nothing, Steve.”  your thumb rubs back and forth on the apple of his cheeks. “You didn’t say anything. it's stupid.”

His hand reaches up to hold your fingers in place, he turns his head a little to kiss your knuckles, “okay, I didn't say anything” he kisses your knuckles again, gaze stuck to your face, “but could you tell me what it is you think you’re being stupid about?”

God, I love him, you think. “Don't worry about it”, your voice barely a whisper as you attempt to give him a smile. You move closer, planting a slow kiss on his lips which are so much softer than yours– he never forgets his chapstick.

And god, you needed this, your brain stops when you kiss him. thoughts quelled and its quiet again. After some time though, your throat starts to burn and your chest is on the verge of a sob. So, when you pull away, you fail to hide the stuttered breath that you take in.

Steve knew there was something to worry about, but when he hears your breath that almost sounds like a sob, he’s immediately on high alert. Before he can brush your hair out of your face to look at you, really look at you, you bury your face in his chest.

It takes him a second to realize that you’re crying and it breaks his heart because you’re trying to hide it.

“Baby..” he feels you curl in further, your face warm against his skin. He moves to pull you in closer, palm holding the back of your head. He just wanted to take away whatever it was that was bothering you. He tried to pull away to get a look at your face to help you calm down but you wouldn't let him. He settles on carding his fingers through your hair, rubbing circles on the little sliver of exposed skin between your t-shirt and shorts, hoping it gives you some sort of comfort.

"Honey", it is then that you finally let in a shaky breath. he feels the skin where you hid your face get wet maybe with tears, sweat, snot, he didn't care-- he just wanted to take all your pain away.

You both stay that way, and you're suprised by how much you sob, how hard you heave. You weren't sure how long you stayed that way, maybe minutes, maybe hours, however long. It feels like forever.

At this moment, encased in Steve's arms, breath hot against his skin, despite the nose plugged with snot, lashes clumped with tears, eyes squinted shut, you think this is comfortable. Yet it hurts. Because you'll have to pull away. It hurts so damn much because you know how this can go, you know it can hurt so, so much more. You know it will hurt.

You want this to last forever, however fucking long one of those is.

So, you hold on longer because, you’re selfish with your love for Steve. You're selfish because despite the heartache, you’ll have him, for as long as you can.

His hold on you gentle yet firm, as if afraid he'd break you. In your head, he already had. He tries to pull away again, to look at you but you can't. Your eyes still squinted close, willing it all to be a stupid dream. “Honey, I promise you whatever it is, you can tell me”, he says, voice soft as feather. Of course it's not a dream.

Your tongue betrays you, “Its…s–” stupid. Silly. It really doesn't feel stupid or silly, but god, you're so scared that you can't say it, you didn't want to say it because if you do it’ll come true, wont it?

“Whatever it is that you think is stupid," he assured you as if he could read your mind, "I still want to hear it because I know I won't think it's stupid."

suddenly it burns, and you need air. you sit up and try not to think about how ridiculously not pretty you probably look with snot running down your face, “What if- what if we- we end up hating each other?” you manage to say through hiccups.

“What?” he sits up as well, he says as if you had said the most ridiculous thing, “I'll never hate you, honey.”

For some reason, tears fill your eyes again at that, “Steve, you don’t know that.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“No. Ste– people fall out of love, Steve- all the- all the time.” It terrifies him how convinced you sound of it.

“Do..... do you think you’ll fall out of love with me?”

The question startles you, its evident in your wide eyes, “Wha– what?”

“Do you think… you’ll fall out of love with me?" he repeats, "You think you’ll hate me?”

You shake your head, the tear that had been sitting on your lower lash finally slides down your already tear-stained cheek.

“Good." he wipes the wet trails left behind with his thumb, "then, why would I hate you?”

Your face twists into an expression that Steve wasn't sure what to describe it as. a deep frown on your lips, chin wobbly, brows scrunched up together, eyes red and tired yet nostrils flared. “‘Cause", you start but before you could continue another sob leaves you. you look down at your lap, trying to catch your breath. it takes you a minute before you begin again, "do you remember.... what you said about our kids?”

He nods, heart clenching at the way your voice breaks, “I don't think I can… do that”, he doesn't think he's ever heard you sound so broken. “I– I don't think if I– if I want that.”

He sits silent and you think this is it. maybe forevers aren't that long after all.

More tears fall, more sobs leave you, you don't bother to wipe them. What's it matter anyway? He hates you already. He's probably thinking of a way to let you down easily because he is kind like that “Honey.. I want a family..” you feel your heart ripping in two and you just can't look at him.

“And I want you to be a part of that family. I– I want you to be the person I built a family with, no matter the size." He wipes at both your cheeks again, making you look at him, "even if its just us.”

The relieved smile he expected from you isn't there, instead, you frown, the crease between your brows deepens. the part that hurt the most was that you push his hands away, “you’re saying that now, but what happens when years down the line, when we’re old, you– you end up resenting me. Y- you love me right now, I know. But how do you know you wont end up hating me like, ten years later?”

“I dont want to watch you grow old and hate me and then leave me, Steve. I’d rather end this now if we’re destined to just end up unhappy together.”

“We’re not. Okay? We’re not. I know I wont hate you, ever.” He reaches for your hands again. He kisses your fingers before continuing, “And I know that I want you, just you and whatever that– that that comes with. We could never have kids and I would never hate you for it.”

“You won't be happy", you say meekly, like he'd be mad at you for speaking what was on your mind to him, “You wont hate me but you wont be happy either”, you muttered, chin ducked into your chest.

“Honey”, he hooks a finger under your chin, tilting your head to make you look at him, to make you understand. “you’re what I need to be happy. You make me happy. And.. I’d hope you need me to be happy too”, a wet chuckle escapes you at that. A hint of a smile on your face despite the tears.

“You do, don’t you?” he clarified with a soft smile of himself.

You nod, "yeah", letting out a loud sniffle.

“Good. I know its scary but you’ve gotta put your trust in me. Trust me enough to believe in me when I say that you are what makes me happy. and I am happy."

He wipes away gently at your face, ridding it of the tear stains, “Sometimes, you’ve just gotta trust. I promise I’ll never break it.” 

You sob again but it's lighter than before, you wrap your arms around his neck and feel the weight you felt get lifted, you sniffle into the crook of his neck, "thank you."

You feel his lips on your hairline, "Let's go back to sleep, yeah?"

"Yeah. You still wanna be the big spoon?"

"yeah, I think you need to be the little spoon today." he pulls you down with him, your back to his chest, kissing the skin behind your ear he finally settles in beside you.

You call out his name, he hums in response. "how long do you think a forever is?"

"I don't know, honey."

"Can we stay like this forever?"

"Um.. if you mean us staying forever then yes, definitely forever. But, if you meant me being the big spoon forever, baby, I'm not sure if I'll be able to commit to that."

You laugh, "I love you." you confess.

"I love you too."

[thelov3lybookworm]

Can I request a cardan x reader fic? Anything you want to write! Just gimmi my baby there isnt much of him on this app.🥺

Weeping heart

Summary: Y/n has seen cardan go through lovers like they're wrappers of chocolates. One in his hand before the previous is even in the dustbin.

Now he has found Jude, and she does not know what to do.

��○●⛦●○•

A/n: anon thank you so much for this request! i love you so much for this. It was such a good writing exercise honestly. This is mainly pining, maybe angst.

Also, this marks the beginning of me writing for characters outside of the acotar universe, so I'm very excited

also I didnt tag anyone because the general taglist i have was for acotar.

(i might be down to write a part 2 👀)

(not proofread)

Enjoy!

•○🌑○•

She bit her lip as she stared up at her best friend, trying to contain the smile that threatened to overtake her features.

"Let me see that smile, beautiful." He grinned lazily at her, his dark eyes twinkling under the rays of sunlight that penetrated the thick canopy of leaves above their head. They were currently seated under a weeping willow, hidden away from the whole world outside. Where only the two of them existed, and nothing else mattered.

The place was special to Y/n and Cardan. This was where the two of them would meet all the time, just the two of them, away from their friends and family. In here, they didn't have to pretend, didn't have to act like everything was okay. They could be themselves, and not care about getting hurt.

He leaned closer to her, searching her eyes, his eyes and features softer than Y/n had ever seen before.

"Shut up." She mumbled, but that action had her lips splitting into that smile she was trying so hard to supress.

His grin widened. "There we go."

His hand came up to cup her cheek, his thumb absently brushing her lower lip, his gaze following it with a hungry look. Then his eyes lifted to hers, a question in them.

She dipped her chin almost imperceptibly.

That was enough for him, and he leaned forward, his lips getting closer and closer to hers.

She let her eyes fall shut.

But the kiss never came.

•○🌑○•

She opened her eyes, wondering why he hadn't yet kissed her, and found herself staring at the ceiling of her room.

She blinked blearily, wondering what the hell happened, and then she realised.

It had been a dream.

She closed her eyes again, heaving a sigh as she willed herself to go back to sleep, back to that dream, hoping he'd kiss her before she woke up again.

Of course, that was very nearly impossible.

Because someone decided in that moment that it would be a good idea to knock on her door.

She was certain she knew who it was.

Still she called out, demanding the identity of the knocker.

The answer was immediate. Cardan.

She groaned lowly, dragging her hands down her face.

He didn't wait for her to let him in. The permission wasn't ever needed between the two. That hadn't changed. Yet.

The next moment, he had barged in through the doors, a grin on his stupid face.

She sat up, trying to look anywhere but his face. Heavy emphasis on trying.

"Y/n, guess what happened."

"I am not in the mood, Cardan."

She winced internally. She was being cruel. He had done nothing wrong. It was not his fault he didn't know of her feelings. She had no right to be rude to him, especially when he was so excited about something.

He wasn't bothered by her lack of enthusiasm. He simply plopped down on her bed as she climbed out of it, getting ready for the day as he launched into a story of how after last night's revel, Jude had told him to wait in their bedchambers while she walked into the closet, her skirts swishing around her legs.

How she had retuned without it.

Y/n tried not to pay attention to the details, but she couldn't help it. She had never been able to ignore what Cardan said, never been able to let anything he said go unheard. He had spent nearly all his years being unheard because no one considered him worthy of their time.

She had long ago decided that she was not going to be one of those people.

She heard everything, and her torturous brain created all the images Cardan's words conjured. Her traitor of a heart clenched, but she ignored it.

"That's great Cardan." She said when he finished speaking, and when she looked at him, he was practically glowing with happiness.

Y/n felt guilty for being jealous of the mortal who had everything Y/n ever wanted, but she couldn't bring herself to care when her heart was breaking into pieces everyday.

"It feels like I've waited for this an eternity. Never thought I would get to have Jude in my arms."

She gave him a smile. "I need to meet up with some generals this morning. I need to leave."

He nodded happily, straightening from where he'd been lying on her bed. She watched him walk out of her room, a knot forming in her throat, her resolve hardening.

She needed... she knew what she needed.

•○🌑○•

Jude had her eyebrow raised, and it concerned Y/n how a mere mortal's judgement could make her nervous.

"Tell me again why you want to go on this mission?"

Y/n reigned in a frustrated sigh. "There is no real reason. I just wish to explore the Elfhame more."

The look Jude gave her told her she saw right through the act. But she didn't push the mater.

"There has been rumours of a rebellion on the other side of Elfhame. If you really want to go on this mission, then you need to know that this is an incredibly long and dangerous mission. You'll not only have to investigate the place, but also squash any hint of rebellion you find."

Y/n gave Jude a smile. "Sounds amazing."

"Sure it does." Jude's eyes narrowed as she continued. "If you need more time away to, as you say, to explore, then after you finish this quest, have a tour around Elfhame and meet up with people who have associated with Madoc before. Make sure they are not plotting something behind our backs."

Y/n dipped her chin in a nod. "When can I leave?"

"Before the week ends."

"So does that mean I can leave right now too?"

If possible, Jude's eyes narrowed further and she stood. At that moment, the door behind Y/n opened, and she stiffened as the smell of his perfume reached her.

"Y/n! I thought you were in the meeting with the generals. What are you doing here?"

Y/n smiled stiffly, turning to look at Cardan.

"I had something important to discuss with Jude." She gestured with her hand.

Cardan nodded, as if that was the most understandable thing in the world.

"What were you talking about?"

"Nothing-"

"She is leaving on a long mission-"

Jude and Y/n spoke up at the same time, and Y/n had to resist the urge to smack her forehead.

Cardan's head swung towards Y/n, and he stared at her with wide eyes, his mouth opening and closing, but no words came out.

Y/n turned to Jude, letting some of the fury at her secret being revealed show in her eyes. And then she smiled tightly. "Could you send that list of people and areas where the rebellion is rumoured to be to my room? I need to begin packing."

Jude's eyebrows were high, but she nodded. Y/n bowed, then turned on her heel and strode away, ignoring Cardan and the way he was trying to gain her attention.

As she left the room, she heard him following and calling for her, but she ignored that too.

Just the way she had always ignored her weeping heart, the one that beat solely for Cardan.

The one that was broken beyond repair now.

•○🌑○•

[tune-on-in-folks]

Day 10! This prompt is CNC/Dub-Con/Non-con, so sensitive topic. Vox doesn't explicitly ask for Reader's permission.

I struggled with this prompt, but hey I did write something!

Tags/Warnings: CNC, dub-con, non-con, top Vox, desk sex, fingering, p in v sex, fem!reader Word Count: 2,060

There was a long list of reasons why Vox could be upset. From Alastor to Valentino, to something not going as planned. You were used to Vox’s volatile moods, watching him swing from one to the next. He could go from berating the incompetence of a lowly worker, threatening them with being Valentino’s target practice, one minute; To charming the public with his suave personality and handsome smile, in the next. It was enough to give you whiplash.

Luckily for you, you had never been on the receiving end of his frustrations. You were careful, almost to an anxious degree. You ensured that everything you presented Vox with was top notch, not a word mistyped, or a single smudge of ink. In turn you never got yelled at or talked down to. Which was nice…You adored your boss, admired him. Wanted to stay on his good side, and the occasional wet dream of him was something you ignored. After all, it was Vox, who hadn’t fantasized about him?

Unfortunately today, you were a mess, distracted and bumbling. Everything seemed to be going wrong, but that was okay, you could handle it with grace. What you couldn't handle was the fact that your incompetence was directly affecting your boss. Enough so, that he personally came to your office to demand an explanation.

The door opened, catching your attention as you tried to get your computer to stop freaking out.

“One moment!” You call, muttering curses under your breath about the incompetence of your VoxTek issued laptop.

You hadn't realized that it was your boss who had entered, or you would have dropped your task immediately. And you certainly would not have been cursing out the computer he had designed.

“Stupid piece of shit!” You curse loudly, slamming the laptop shut.

This brought you face to face with Vox who quirked an unamused eyebrow at your outburst. You felt the blood drain from your face.

“Oh. Um, S-sir! What can I help you with?” You stammer, aware of how unprofessional your display was.

He held up the report you had sent up an hour ago. “What is this crap?” He asks, sounding exasperated.

You blink, your heart dropping at the sight of it. “I..ah, well it's my latest report.”

“Uh-huh.” He prompts, “and it's utter crap. So you should?”

You swallow. “Rewrite it, I know.”

You opened your laptop back up, pressing the power button. Only for it not to power on. You held the button down again, a groan of frustration slipping from you.

“And I would, if my computer didn't just fucking die on me.” You sigh, gently closing it as you meet Vox's gaze again. “I'm sorry, Sir.”

He clicks his tongue, entering into your office further, slamming the report down on your desk. “Unfortunately, sorry isn't going to cut it, Dollface. Your report was lackluster, forcing me to improvise in a very important meeting.”

You swallow nervously, anxiety blooming in your chest. You open your mouth to apologize again, but Vox quickly grabs hold of your chin, closing your mouth.

“You’re going to make this up to me, got it? And if I hear another “I’m sorry” from you, I'll make sure that your mouth is put to better use.”

You swallow hard, blush settling on your face at his words. You could only imagine what he had meant with his threat. 

“I-I'm sorry?” You ask, wanting clarification, not for one second interpreting that the words were also another apology. 

At the quirk of his eyebrow you realize what you'd said, “Shit! I mean- fuck! Clarify?”

He chuckles darkly, standing up to his full towering height. Vox comes around your desk, pulling you up from your chair.

“I mean…that I will fuck that pretty little mouth of yours if you apologize one more time.”

Your face flushed with even more heat, you had thought that was what he meant, but to hear him actually say it? A slight amount of panic ran through you, tinged with a warmth that settled in your core. “I uh…didn't mean to say it again.”

“I'm sure you didn't.” Vox muses, a wicked glint in his eyes. “But you still need to pay for your report… and a new computer.”

“A new computer?” You echo softly, brows furrowed in confusion.

You watch as Vox turns to your desk, sweeping everything off, including your laptop.

“Vox!” You yell in surprise, gasping as he grabs your hand.

He pulls you to him, bending you over your desk and pulling up your skirt. Your eyes widen with panic as you try to sit up, only for him to press you back down. His hand trails up the back of your thigh to your panties, the sensation causing you to shiver.

“Lucky for you, I’ll let that last apology slide.” He says softly, his fingers hooking in the waistband of your panties.

“S-sir?” You ask hesitantly, trepidation in your voice, mixing with arousal. “What are you doing?”

Vox presses his chest against your back, sliding your panties down your legs. “I’m collecting my dues. Now, say my name again, doll. I want to hear you say it.”

You take a deep breath, your voice wavering. “V-Vox.” 

Why were you following his commands? He hadn’t asked your permission one bit, taking advantage of you.

“Atta girl.” He chuckles, his fingers finding your clit.

You gasp at the contact, a moan spilling from your lips as he rubs tight circles into the sensitive nub. You weren't doing anything to stop him, you wondered if you wanted to stop him. You bite your bottom lip, hands coming to grasp the edge of the desk as he slipped two fingers inside your sopping cunt. You cried out at the sensation, your eyes fluttering as he began to finger you. You knew if you wanted to stop him you would have, and you truly didn’t want him to stop. Your body betrayed your arousal, showing Vox just how much you wanted him to keep going.

“So wet for me.” His voice is full of lust and desire. “you know it's taken everything in me to wait to fuck you? Unfortunately, I can't wait anymore, babydoll.”

You whine, rolling your hips back against his fingers “W-what?” You ask, confusion biting through your arousal.

You never thought any of your fantasies about Vox would come to light. Yet here you were, pressed against your own desk, getting fingered by him. You couldn’t find it in yourself to ask him to stop, to point out that he was your boss. That he shouldn’t be doing this.

He speeds up his pace, the wet sounds of your cunt filling the air. “I've seen the way you look at me, doll. And I won't deny that I've thought about it. Thought about you.”

Your walls clench around his fingers, your eyes shutting tight. You hear the clinking of his belt behind him, the unzipping of his pants. You moan softly, trying to keep quiet. He was really going to fuck you, you realize. The thought sends a thrill through you, the idea of him fucking you just made you more aroused.

“Vox.” You moan, breath coming in short gasps.

“That’s right babydoll, say my name. I love when you say my name, it makes me so hard.” He murmurs, his voice right in your ear.

“F-fuck!” You gasp, not having expected those words to turn you on as much as they did.

“Let go for me doll, cum for me.”

You whine at his words, your release sneaking up on you. You moan loudly, cumming around his fingers. When your walls stopped twitching, he pulled his fingers from you. You were left feeling empty, wanting.

“Please.” You whimper, feeling his cock-head pressing against your entrance a moment later.

Vox hums, his hands grasping your hips as he runs his cock through your slick, “Please?” He asks, “Please what?”

“Fuck…” You whine, glancing over your shoulder at him. “Please-”

He thrust forward, his cock sliding half-way inside you, your own moans cutting you off from whatever you were going to say. He watches you as he begins to press the rest of his cock inside you. You whimper, your body trying to pull away from him with how deep he pressed inside you. He felt big, impossibly big.

“Too much.” You gasp, trying and failing to pull away from him. “Vox, you’re too big!”

He chuckles darkly, “Oh darling, I’m perfectly proportioned.”

He thrust forward again, his cock-head pressing against your cervix, causing you to cry out.

“And you will take all of me.” He whispers, pressing further in until you feel like you can’t take anything more.

Vox groans, his face pressing against your shoulder as he bottoms out. He begins to pull from your weeping cunt slowly, until just the head of his cock was inside you. Vox thrust forward, snapping his hips back into you. You gasp, the pain from his thrust blooming into pleasure. He felt too big and not big enough all at once. Everytime he pulled from your cunt you missed the feeling of him being buried inside you. But when he was inside you, it felt like too much. Vox shifted slightly, angling his cock deeper as he began to pick up his pace. Your office was filled with the obscene noises of him fucking you, hard and fast. You were faintly aware that anyone passing by would be able to hear.

“Vox!” You moan, his hips slapping against your bare ass. “Oh, fuck…”

One of his hands moves from your hip, slipping down to rub at your clit. “Fuck you feel sinful, so tight and perfect, like this cunt was made for me.” He mutters. 

Your body shuddered with the pure pleasure you were feeling. Every sharp snap of his hips planted seeds of pain that quickly bloomed into pure pleasure. His finger rubbing small, fast circles around your clit had your walls squeezing his cock in a vice-like grip. You were so close to your release, it was almost painful.

“Fucck!” Vox gasped, his voice glitching as he pressed into you, past your fluttering muscles. “Cum for me, babydoll, let me feel you cum around my cock.”

You moan, a second release crashing over your body for him. It was like your body was his at this point, following his every command without hesitation. Vox’s pace faltered, his breaths coming heavier.

“Fuck, I’m going to cum inside your tight little pussy, fill you up.” He growled, “Make you mine.”

You couldn’t do much else but whimper, your body on fire with how sensitive you were. Vox managed only a few more thrusts before slamming his cock as deep as he could go, his seed filling you. You moaned lowly, the sensation of your boss cumming inside you, sending you tumbling into a final release. Your walls squeezed around his cock, milking him for every drop he had to give you.

“Fuck, babydoll.” Vox gasped, slowly pulling his cock from you.

He chuckled at you whining at the loss of him, admiring how his seed leaked from your cunt, the sight made his cock twitch again. You tried to press yourself up onto your arms, but they quickly gave out from beneath you. Vox leaned forward, reaching for your panties that hung loosely around your knees. He pulled them up, patting your cunt through them, making you gasp and moan at the sensation. He pulled your skirt back down, covering your ass, before he helped you up off your desk. He turned you to face him, holding you in his arms, his softening cock pressing against your stomach.

“I’ll ensure you have a new laptop sent to your office tomorrow.” He says softly, making sure you could stand on your own before tucking himself away.

You nod, slightly dazed. “R-Right. I’ll rewrite that report tomorrow then.”

Vox heads to the door, pausing before leaving, “Don’t bother. Just ensure the next is better. Oh and y/n?”

You glance up, surprised he had used your name. “Yes, sir?”

“I’ll see you tonight, I’m not done with you yet. And use my name, you deserve to after taking my cock so well.”

You flush in embarrassment, watching Vox leave your office with a promise that you knew he intended to keep.

[lucienarcheron]

Spirit Meets the Bones XXIX

Genre: Angst/Romance/Drama Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse. Author’s Note: In case you missed it, here's a little art I commissioned of my darlings <3

shoutout to @abruisedmuse for being on this journey with me <3

Tagging: @climb-the-mountian / @vanserrass / @zenkindoflove / @animezinglife / @readthelastpaage / @teddyhoneybear / @positivewitch / @clockwork-ashes / @carnythian / @secret-third-thing / @runningwiththeoceans / @readychilledwine / @goldenmagnolias / @that-golden-lyre / @thedarkinmansfield / @mali22 / @maidr-00 / @electromagnetic-waves / @eastofatlanta / @moobell55 / @bibliophiliaxvignette / @devilsfoodcake22 / @weesablackbeak / @ladywhilemia / @alohaangels / @feysandfeels / @corcracrow / @dawneternal / @gracie-rosee / @mage-neve / @queenoftheworld1998 /@wolvesnravens / @illyrianvalkyrie / @rainbowsnowflake

Find it all here.

The room was quiet as Iris lay on their bed, feeling a tad foolish for how clingy she felt waiting for her husband to return. She wanted to be embarrassed by it, considering she had only made fun of him for being the same way not that long ago, but instead, Iris only found herself embarrassingly eager to see his stupid face. 

Her eyes flickered towards the door, trying to sense any movement but it was silent. Eris had reinforced the wards for additional protection so Iris didn’t worry as much but…he was taking longer than anticipated and it made her a little nervous. The last time he had taken longer than she expected, it hadn’t ended well.

But she hadn’t felt any negative emotions — no painful tugs like that night. 

Iris sighed then turned over, Atlas shifting closer to her. “He would be so smug to know I’m waiting like this,” she said to the hound who whined sleepily in return. Iris chuckled, scratching behind the hound’s ear. “You’re absolutely right. I am too pretty waiting here for him.” 

And indeed, Iris felt very pretty. She had donned a satin baby blue nightgown with a side slit that made her giddy in anticipation for him to see. Even if she was currently covering it with a matching robe. 

It might be the acknowledgment of the mating bond or her head had finally caught up with her libido, but Iris found herself more and more worked up whenever she was around him and she craved his touch. 

Her husband. Her friend. Her mate. 

She bit her lip and flushed deeply. Who was she becoming? 

Every time she remembered her life before Eris, it came as a shock. The days had always blurred together, time passing her by with nothing to show for it. She had been suffocated. Isolated. So alone, it had been crippling. But in that loneliness, Iris had always kept hope tucked away, hidden so deeply that her father could never reach it. The hope that she would get out, that she would find a way to feel alive. To dream. Despite the struggle of being stuck under her father’s fist, she always yearned for the light at the end of the road. She had believed in it so desperately, it had been the only thing keeping her sane. 

Her father had gone out of his way to break her down and Iris thought back to her wedding morning, how she had believed getting married would be a death sentence, a way her father had won. That marrying her off to Eris was how he finally broke her spirit and took away any hope she had held on to.  But now…she realized how Eris had been exactly what she’d waited for. Everything Iris had been waiting for and yet, so much more than she ever thought she’d deserve. 

Things may not be perfect living with the monster of a High Lord now but…Iris was happier than she imagined she’d be with Eris. This dream was all sitting within the palm of her hands. 

Shifting again, she shook her head and Iris let her thoughts drift back to her time with her mother-in-law earlier and it had wrecked her to know how much Lady Enya had struggled; that she felt so comfortable to share with Iris meant the world.

She didn’t miss how Lady Enya’s hope and desperation to get out mirrored her own. It became exceedingly clear the more they had spoken and Iris marveled again, at the resilience her mother-in-law had to tolerate this life.

“My sons are the only reason I’ve been able to manage anything.” Lady Enya said quietly. “My flame would’ve long been extinguished had I not had them and the only way I can thank them is by taking so long to leave.”

Iris frowned. “I’m sure they’d be crushed to know you think of it that way,” she said carefully. “Eris…he loves you and wishes for whatever you want for yourself.”

Lady Enya smiled sadly. “He has carried so much on his shoulders,” she said and glanced at Iris. “How is he really doing? I know Beron had not held back that night.” 

Iris’s lips thinned, her expression troubled as she thought of a way to word it carefully. “...It was a hard night. I healed him as best as I could and he’s making good progress. I’ve tried to force him to be careful with his movement.”

Lady Enya’s smile brightened slightly. “Having a healer in the family is a blessing we didn’t know we needed,” she said and Iris flushed happily. “I daresay having a healer on the throne will be a soothing balm to this festering wound of a court.”

“Your faith in my abilities is very flattering, Mother.” Iris chuckled. “I have so much more to learn.” 

“And I’m sure you’ll do wonderfully.” Lady Enya said and reached out to squeeze Iris’s hand. “I have all the faith in the world in you, Iris and I am honored for my son to have you in his life. He’s needed you more than you know.” 

Iris flushed at the memory of the words. Her mother-in-law may think Eris needs her but she needs him just as much. If not more. 

Sighing, Iris forced herself to sit up. She was becoming restless with her wait. She wanted him to be home already. To sit with her. To talk with her. And maybe, to touch her. Maybe they could both be a little more brave.

She’d noticed his hesitation and blamed it on his healing back even with the scent in the room giving away his desires. It was almost too embarrassing how the tables had turned and now she was the one waiting for Eris to make his move. 

And it was almost as if Eris had heard her thoughts – his scent hit her as she sensed movement by the door and her husband materialized before her. She hoped it wasn’t too obvious how eagerly she’d been waiting for him, feeling herself perk up as his eyes quickly swept the room and landed on her.

Eris closed the door of their suite behind him and Iris watched his shoulders sag; she could feel the wave of anxiety and knew he’d been worried by the way his fingers flexed at his sides. His expression hadn’t eased until his eyes landed on her, clearly safe and sound. She knew the thread that pulled at her ribcage had told them both they had no reason to be so worried about the other and yet, he couldn’t relax until he saw her. The thought spread a warmth across her chest.

“You’re back.” she breathed with a small smile. 

“Do keep your disappointment in check.” he replied, the corner of his mouth lifting and Iris rolled her eyes, shifting off the bed. 

Iris could feel his gaze on her as she adjusted her robe and tried to be casual in the way she straightened – tried not to make it too obvious how she had felt herself brighten as his scent enveloped her. 

“How did the meeting go? You took longer than I expected.”

“Ah, you really missed me, didn’t you?”

Iris shot him a playfully chiding look, curling a strand of hair behind her ear. “Please don’t project your delusions on me.” 

Eris snorted as she moved towards him, his eyes cataloging the baby blue robe she donned. She’d been experimenting with more colors in her nightly clothing and whenever Iris picked a color she didn’t usually wear, it was always worth it for his reactions alone. 

“The only delusions here are your own, thinking you’re not obsessed with me,” he said, his mouth curling into a smirk. “What a beautiful little liar you are.”

Iris flushed and fought back a smile, pursing her lips instead. “I don’t even like you, let alone am obsessed with you.”

“Mm.” Eris hummed. “She says while she was just lying in my bed, hugging my hound.”

She crossed her arms, shrugging a shoulder playfully. “I’m only with you for the puppies,” she said. “I told you that from the beginning.” 

“Not puppies.” he corrected with an eye roll and Iris straightened, leaning forward until she was a breath away, meeting his gaze.

“One hundred percent puppies.” she enunciated slowly and Eris’s eyes flashed, his gaze locked on that pretty mouth of hers, her scent hitting him in full force. 

He had to hand it to his wife; the sheer magnetic force she possessed that had him so eagerly wrapped up in her always took him by surprise. He couldn’t resist her and didn’t know why he’d ever tried to. Slowly, he closed the distance between them, his eyes never leaving hers and for someone who called him out on his hungry eyes, his wife sure replicated it very well. 

The two watched each other and the bond between them pulsed, tugging them closer as they breathed each other in. The pleasant tension that sat between them always flared up so viciously whenever they were alone and at the same time, breathed a sigh of relief to be near once again. 

And then —

She was in his arms quicker than he could blink and Eris melted into her. He wrapped his arms around his wife and pulled her close as they kissed, her mouth as hungry as her eyes were.  Iris’s hands traced his biceps before wrapping them around his neck, letting out a small delightful sound when he squeezed her into him. Kissing him always left her breathless and Eris did not shy away from stealing every single breath he could from her.

His hands slid, squeezing and kneading her flesh as he walked her backward toward their bed, desire coating each brush of his tongue on hers, a melody of emotions crashing together. 

“Puppy –” Iris managed and Eris groaned against her mouth, pulling away for a moment.

“Atlas. Off the bed. Now.” Eris commanded sharply and in the same breath his hound moved with a whine, he had Iris flat on her back and settled between her legs.

The weight of his body on hers was delicious and so very welcomed, especially when his hardness pressed against her, and Iris could feel exactly how much he wanted her. Since she had pulled his body over hers that night, Eris did not hesitate to keep doing it. Even with her robe and his night clothes between them, every inch of him lined up with every inch of her each night, as if he no longer knew how to sleep without the heat of her beneath him. 

He rocked against her as his lips memorized hers and gods did she want him to press harder. A raspy moan slipped from her lips when his sinful mouth moved to her throat and her hands traced every inch of him they could find and Iris would’ve torn his shirt off and bitten whatever skin she could find – had he not stiffened — had he not paused with her hands digging into his back. 

Iris froze – suddenly remembering the sensitivity of his skin and guilt overwhelmed her as she slowly relaxed her hands with a swallow, gently sliding them down his arms. Eris’s face remained buried in her neck and they waited as his panting calmed. 

Slowly, Eris pulled back and Iris hated to see the slight color in his cheeks, his mouth a thin line of embarrassment at his own reaction. Her touch light as a feather, she held his face and pulled him down to give him a chaste kiss.

“Sorry,” she whispered against his lips. “I forgot myself.”

He gently shook his head in assurance. “It just goes to show how obsessed you are. Can’t keep your hands off me.” 

The humor in his tone eased her worry and she ran a hand softly through his hair. “I suppose you’re right.” she murmured. “It must be the witchcraft in your lips that’s causing this.” 

And Iris couldn’t help her smile at the way his whole face brightened when he laughed. 

“So alongside your lies, you steal the lines I use on you?” he said, his hands finding their way to the loose strands of hair again, brushing it gently out of her face.

“You’re so inspiring, how could I not?”

Eris shook his head with a low chuckle and leaned in to murmur against her mouth, “We haven’t even said hello and you’re already making fun of me.”

“You are very easy to tease.” she said with a coy smile and Eris’s smoldering gaze made her heart stutter, especially when he kissed the corner of her mouth and whispered, 

“Well, then. Hello to you too, mate.” 

The bond went taut as the word spread heat through his chest, especially when Iris flushed.

And it was like Iris was hit by the revelation of the mating bond all over again. Slowly but surely, she had been coming to terms that indeed, they would be tied together forever and again, rather than panic, Iris’s reaction bubbled between excitement and caution. Excitement because her mate was already her husband, someone she wanted, and caution because…well, there was still so much to navigate between them. 

But every time he called her that — every time he claimed her this way, Iris felt her heart want to explode. Eris had wanted her before any of this came to light and to go from having no one in her corner to having someone who wanted her so deeply…it overwhelmed her in the best way. 

“Hello…mate.” she finally replied and couldn’t look away from his reaction, the way his eyes honed in on her, the stupid male satisfaction of it, especially when her legs involuntarily squeezed him.

“You have very hungry eyes on you, wife.” he said and his voice had dropped low, the way it always did that made a heat pool in her body.

“I have no idea what you mean, husband.” 

Eris couldn’t help the smirk from forming on his lips at her typical response. His coy little wife. Was it normal for him to have missed her, even if they’d only been a few hours apart? Was he truly that pathetic? Probably. 

But beneath the slight patheticness,  he felt a sense of…giddiness? Excitement? Whatever it was, it pulsed beneath her skin too. He could almost taste it. 

“This is a very pretty blue you’re wearing.” he muttered and the tone went straight to Iris’s core. “I like it.”

“You think so?” she teased and bit her lips before she whispered, “I think you’d like what’s underneath it too.” 

Iris flushed deeply and held back a giggle when he dropped his head into the crook of her neck with a groan, his grip tightening on her.

“Do you…want to see it?” she asked in that whispered tone and Eris sucked in a breath, going silent at the invitation. 

Did he want to see it? Given his current one-sided and very stupid stance on holding back on their intimacy? 

“I think I’d die right here if I didn’t.” he murmured and lifted his head to meet her gaze. 

“Well. We can’t have that, can we?” she said and Eris shifted to slide next to her, giving himself enough space to take in the complete sight of her. She lay there, like a gift to unwrap and he couldn’t help but slip his hand down the silk robe, a smirk blooming on his face when he felt her suck in her stomach beneath his touch.

“Are you sure?” he asked and when Iris bit her lip, nodding, Eris had to remind himself that he was a very, very patient male. He did not lose control.

So very slowly, he pulled on the sash holding the robe together, and let the robe slide open, revealing the gown she’d hidden beneath it.

He had to suck in a breath of his own. 

Eris had played with silk before. He used it quite a few times over the years and while he’d tied partners up and blindfolded them with silk…he hadn’t anticipated that silk nightwear would be his new kink. 

Specifically on his very, very pretty wife.

His eyes traced every inch of exposed skin and like the morning she stood in their bathroom and showed him that gown, Eris felt his pulse skyrocket. She would be the death of him as she lay there, roses blooming on her cheeks, fidgeting just slightly as he licked his lips.

The material hugged her body so beautifully, tight in just the right places, the color doing wonders for her skin and if Eris could stop himself from losing his absolute mind, he’d lean in and allow himself to indulge in her. 

But gods, he would devour her. He would — he stilled when Iris shifted and the slit he hadn’t seen exposed more of her lovely legs.

Touch her. Taste her. Claim her.

The bond wrapped around his neck nearly choked him and Eris realized too late that the sound of a wounded animal he’d heard had slipped from his own lips. His hand slid on its own and traced the exposed skin by that tantalizing slit wondering if he just slid his hand further, what would happen?

What if he let his hand touch her most sensitive flesh? Allowed his fingers the blessing of being soaked by her pleasure? They’d both enjoy it. He could stop himself after. He could – 

Iris shifted and the scent of her arousal hit him like a sack of bricks, especially when it wrapped around his own shameless lust. Gods, every time he remembered that she wanted him as badly as he wanted her, Eris wanted to combust. 

To be wanted, in a way like no one had ever made him feel before…

“Wife.” he rasped, refusing to be embarrassed by how guttural he sounded. 

“Husband.”

“You’re getting too good at riling me up. I don’t like it.” he mused, narrowing his eyes at her and Iris gave him an innocent smile.

“Well. It’s not really hard when you make it so easy.” she said and patted his cheek. 

Eris shifted as he watched her and prayed to whatever gods were listening that he didn’t come from the way she looked at him alone. 

This flirting was going to make their conversation more difficult. He knew she would object to their separation and yet…Eris couldn’t bring himself to ruin the moment with serious conversation just yet. 

He narrowed his eyes at her again as she watched him and Eris couldn’t help but kiss her once more, sinking into the softness of her body beneath his, so much of her skin on display beneath his touch. 

Their lips met and it was soft and welcoming and Eris would love nothing more than to stay right here and fuck everything else. When her body turned pliable beneath his and the small sounds she made threatened to kill him, he forced himself to pull away.

He took in her flushed cheeks and swollen lips and nearly came undone.

“All was well in my absence?” he asked – if only to distract himself from launching himself at her again. “Nothing happened?”

Iris shook her head, her hands tracing his shoulders. “I spent some time with Mother, spent some time with the puppies, then finished my other duties. Nothing happened. All was well.” she answered and Eris nodded, willing his pulse to calm. He allowed himself to lean in and kiss the corner of her mouth, a finger playing with a strand of her loose hair and it took all of his willpower not to let his fingers shake. 

And as her heartbeat started to settle, Iris took the opportunity to blatantly drink him in, assessing his expression – his body language; she didn’t miss the irony of doing the one thing Eris had always done to her.

“So.” she said and tried very hard not to grin when he smirked down at her. 

“So.”

“How did your meeting go?”

“You’ll be pleased to know I only threw a punch.”

Iris tsked. “Only one? Don’t lie.”

Eris made a non-committal noise as she shifted beneath him and he tried very hard to stay focused. 

“Well.”

“Oh gods, what did you do?”

“Why must you assume I did anything?” Eris replied indignantly. “It’s not like I was the one who created this mess.” 

Iris gave him an all-too-knowing look and it made him want to kiss her senselessly. “Yes, but did you make it worse?” she asked and he pursed his lips.

“Well.”

“Eris!”

He chuckled at her outrage and slid his fingers between the strands of her hair, nipping at the corner of her mouth again. “Izak is a big boy. He can handle a few punches.” Eris said. “He’s lucky I didn’t snap his neck.”

“Causing trouble everywhere you go, I see,” she replied, shaking her head with a small smile. “Heathen.”

“Heathen, husband. Tomato, tomato.” he said with a casual wave of his hand. 

She couldn’t help the low chuckle that escaped her. “Did Lucien end up joining?”

“He did. It went better than I expected,” he said then pursed his lips before reluctantly adding, “They all send their regards. Though I wasn’t keen on passing it along.”

Iris rolled her eyes. “You can’t handle anyone being nice, can you?”

“Doesn’t really keep to the theme we have running in our family now, does it?”

“I can’t wait until everyone finds out you’re all just so nice.” Iris said, smiling knowingly and Eris immediately scowled. 

“No, we’re not.”

“Just the nicest young boys around.”

“I am not a boy. I am a grown male.”

“Are you sure? You sound exactly like a young boy with how defensive you got there.”

Eris squinted at her. “Wife.”

Iris’s smile was full of innocence. “Husband.”

“If you keep being a nuisance, I won’t give you any details and hoard all the information to myself,” Eris warned and proceeded to almost die when Iris immediately pursed her lips in a small pout.

“That’s not fair! I didn’t even get to ask about Helene.” she objected and Eris winced.

“About Helene…” His expression must’ve shifted again because Iris’s eyes narrowed. “I think first impressions could’ve gone better,” he said carefully and Iris’s brows shot up. 

“And what does that mean?” 

With a sigh, Eris forced himself to slide off his wife again and instead, lay next to her. The two lay on their sides, face to face, and the tone of their conversation shifted as Eris recapped the meeting, even as his hand traced her skin. Iris was an apt audience, her expression shifting as he explained things and while Eris had dreaded repeating things to his brothers, he enjoyed telling Iris things more than he’d care to admit.

It helped that she was just as interested in information as he was. 

It fell silent between them as Eris concluded and anxiety began to prickle at his fingertips, thinking about what else he wanted to discuss with her. He watched as she digested what was shared and when she met his gaze, her expression was serious as she sat up and he followed her lead. 

“The timeline makes everything so much more urgent.” Iris finally said quietly. 

“I know.” 

“I’m happy for Mother that she feels prepared to leave but…” she began and licked her lips. “I’m also worried about what that means for you. What that means for everyone.”

Eris’s mouth went into a thin line and he ran a hand through his hair. “Well.” he began and glanced at her. “It means the end is near. It’s either we finish him or…” 

He let the rest of the sentence hang in the air between them and Iris felt her heart stop at the implication of it. Before she could control it, her mind conjured image after image of all the things that could go wrong that night. Her face fell. 

“Eris.” 

His expression tightened and he hated that he could sense her distress so clearly. “I’m not saying that to alarm you, I’m preparing you,” he said. “I can’t guarantee anything. I know we will do everything to have all of this end that night.”

“I’m trying to imagine how badly it could go, “ she said, her hands clenched. “But I — my mind is having trouble limiting just how horrible it will be.”

“My mother is leaving Beron and the second she sets foot in Day Court, Helion is going to announce their mating bond, openly claiming her and Lucien,” Eris replied. “It’s going to be as horrible as you can imagine if my father is still alive to witness it.” 

Iris’s throat bobbed, her brows furrowed as she watched Eris. She knew this would be the deciding factor of things. She knew whatever happened that night, her husband would be a changed man and Iris prayed everything in her that it would be the night he wanted.

“What role do you want me to play during the ball?” she asked quietly. 

A muscle flexed in his jaw as he thought about how to carefully word this. He took a breath and steeled himself. “We will go to the ball and we will be presentable and have a great time.” he began. “Then you will leave and slip away with my mother.”

Iris nodded. “I can cover for her while she disappears.”

Eris ran his tongue over his teeth and then took a breath. “You misunderstand me, Iris.” he said, his smile thin. “You will leave with my mother.”

Iris blinked then blinked again. “What?”

Eris swallowed then nodded. “You need to leave with her.” 

A tense silence fell between them and Iris felt the happiness she had only just attained, slip right through her fingers. She shot up and stared at him in disbelief. “You want me to leave you? Knowing what will be happening?”

“Yes. It is the only way I can guarantee your safety.”

“What about your safety?” she demanded. “How am I supposed to go and be left wondering if you’re safe? Or hurt? Or even alive?”

Eris stood and gently, in the way he only was with her, held her face and pulled her near him. “My life has always been on the line when it came to this. I know what I’m walking into,” he said quietly. “You cannot be here in case things go wrong. The idea of him getting his hands on you makes me want to –” He forced himself to take a breath all while she stared at him, crushed. “I cannot risk it. You have to leave with her. You’ll be safe in the Day Court.” 

“That’s not fair.” Iris whispered. “You can’t expect me to let you face this and just leave, wondering what will happen to you.”

“Lucien will be waiting for any news and will inform you of any updates immediately.”

Iris looked at him in disbelief. Only moments ago, she’d been blissfully thinking about the happiness she felt near him, relishing in the weight of his body on hers and his touch on her skin – but with what he was saying – it seemed their life together was now a ticking time bomb. It would explode and no one knew what the damage would be.

“What if you get hurt and I could’ve been here to heal you?” she demanded again, pulling away. “We don’t know what kind of harm Beron will cause. I can help.”

“No.” Eris said immediately and his expression hardened. “That would leave you here, defenseless, and I will not allow you to be in that kind of position for him to take advantage of you.”

“But –”

“Iris.” 

His sharp tone startled her and Iris blinked at him, her expression crumbling at his gaze.

“We just —” she began again and waved a hand, trying to find the right words to express exactly what she felt while a boulder sat on her chest. “We just found out we’re mates. We’re still figuring out what that means for us. You’re my husband. My friend. You’re one of the few people I care about in this whole world. How can you expect me to be okay with leaving you?”

Eris had to swallow hard as he closed the gap between them again and grasped her hands in his tightly. “Do not think the idea of you being far from me during a trial like that would be anything but agonizing,” he whispered. “But it would be so much harder for me – so much worse if I knew you were within his reach. He will make you pay the price for everything we planned and hurt you to spite me. I cannot risk it.” 

Iris’s lips trembled and she blinked back emotions she wasn’t ready to release yet. Instead, she channeled all the anger she felt at this situation and glared down at their joined hands.

She wanted one blissful moment – one night they didn’t have to worry about what would happen. One occasion that wouldn’t be tainted. 

“I know it’ll be better for you if I’m not here when you all challenge him. I know it’ll let you focus more without having to worry about me. But…” she paused and bit her lip then continued in a whisper, “I…just got you and we may be slow and steady but you and I both know there won’t be anyone else. The idea of me pretending to have a great time at this ball while knowing I’m leaving you and having no idea if it’ll be the last time I see you or not…” 

She finally glanced up at him and Eris knew the sight of her panic could kill him before his father ever got the chance. “You’re asking for something too grand.”

Eris’s battered heart broke in his chest; he didn’t think there were too many pieces still held together but she was the reason he still believed in the beat of his own heart at all at this point. 

This would be the goddamn fight of his life and Eris will be damned if it didn’t end in a way for him to have her in his arms by the end of it. 

“I thought you didn’t even like me.” he attempted to humor her, squeezing her hands and Iris scoffed, shaking her head.

“I’m obviously obsessed with you.” she replied with a forced smile that fell quickly the longer he gazed at her.

Eris let go of her hands to hold her face once more and leaned it to brush a chaste kiss across her lips. “If it helps, I think I’m pretty obsessed with you too.” 

“I know it’s the safer option, to be farther away but…what if I don’t want to?” she asked, her gaze pleading and Eris felt his chest tighten. He had promised himself he wouldn’t let her plead for anything but this…this couldn’t be something he budged on. 

“I’m afraid what you want won’t be on the table for this one, wife,” he said, brushing a strand of hair back behind her ear with one hand, the other still caressing her face. “As I’ve told you before, your safety is non-negotiable.” 

Iris gazed at him silently for a moment, her mouth forming into a small pout, gazing at him almost accusingly. “You’re evil.”

His brow lifted and he gazed at her indulgently, curious. “How so?” 

“You made me fall —” she cut herself off, flushing deeply, and Eris’s heart lept into his throat at the almost confession, his pulse quickening. “You made me develop these feelings for you that aren’t hatred or dislike and now it’s all up in the air.” 

Eris’s expression softened despite his pulse still all over the place. They both knew where they stood, yes. It was hard not to be aware when being married and mated meant you had a bond that fed you the other person’s emotions. But with the way emotions had always been wielded against him before her – and the way she had always been forced to hide any feelings before him, Eris knew how much it meant for her to confess this here. 

His mother’s words rang in his head. 

“Watching you fall in love has been one of the highlights of my life, Eris.” 

This was what this was, wasn’t it? This thing between them, outside of any bond. This feeling that had bloomed with time. And he could deny it all he wanted, but with the risk of it being taken away from him…Eris could feel his resolve crumbling, especially as he sensed the slight embarrassment she seemed to feel at the confession.

“I apologize for my nefarious plans,” he said, the corner of his mouth curling up. “But I could say the same to you. You’ve gone and made me my father’s worst nightmare. Soft.”

“You’re everything he wishes he could be and more. Don’t you ever let him make you believe otherwise.” she said firmly and her immediate defense had Eris’s shoulders sagging, his hands dropping to his sides as he let himself finally give in to the stress of it all.

“I know the situation isn’t ideal but we will make the best of it and things will end the way we want them to.” he tried to assure her despite the tightness in his throat. “This won’t be some dramatic goodbye. Have some faith it’ll end in our favor.”

Iris assessed him. She knew the kind of strain he would be under the next three weeks would be like nothing he’d ever experienced before. She wouldn’t be an additional cause of stress for him, even if the idea of the next three weeks being a countdown of some sort did nothing to ease her concerns.   

Iris’s expression hardened into determination. “Of course, this isn’t going to be a goodbye. If anything happens to you, I will come back and kill you myself,” she said and Eris couldn’t help his strained chuckle. “I know you have it in you to finish this and while again, I hate the idea of not being around if you need me, I know it’ll be the safer option for us both for me to leave at that time. It doesn’t mean I like it and if you end up changing your mind, I will be happy to stay.” 

“You’re just itching to sink that blade into someone, aren’t you.” 

“I’m the wife and mate of the Autumn Court’s future High Lord.” she said and lifted her nose in the air. “It comes with the job.” 

Eris couldn’t help his smirk. “I look forward to having you by my side when the time comes.” 

And as they watched each other, Eris knew he would do everything and bleed as much as he had to, to give them that time together. He deserved it. His brothers did too. His wife hadn’t signed up to live half a life with him. His brothers deserved to live their lives in the sun and Eris would be damned if he let Beron snuff them out after all this time. 

Iris tilted her head as she watched him. “How do you want these next few weeks to go?”

Eris hummed and found himself pulling her back towards their bed, seating them both, her hand still in his. “Ideally, as smoothly as possible.” he said.

Iris sighed quietly and attempted some bravado when she spoke next, “I was hoping my first ball would be less dramatic but I suppose I married the wrong person for that.” 

Eris snorted. “The Vanserras are nothing if not dramatic.” he said quietly and Iris managed a small smile before it faded. 

She moved closer, reaching out to squeeze his hand once more. “Then I guess it’s time you taught me how to dance.” 

The corner of Eris’s mouth curled up. “It would be my pleasure.”

The weight of the impending events to take place hung heavily in the air and though it dampened the initial mood they reunited with, Eris felt stronger for it. He wished he could shield her from this all, from the chaos he knew this ball would ensure but he knew there would be no way around it and he didn’t think Iris would appreciate being minimized because of his fears. 

For now, he just wanted some peace. And for his wife to touch him.

��If you’d be so kind,” Eris began, tracing the back of her hand with his thumb. “I could use my wife’s healer hands before bed.” 

Iris squinted at him. “You messed up those bandages, didn’t you?”

“No rest for the wicked, as they say.” 

She rolled her eyes but went to get her materials nonetheless, trying to stay in the moment and not think about what was to come. Even if it was all happening so fast. 

When she finally turned back to Eris, she found him lying on his stomach shirtless with his arms crossed beneath his pillow, waiting for her. She didn’t take for granted how he trusted her to do this. To touch his scars and bring comfort to them. 

Iris began removing his old covers and gently cleaning and reapplying the balm. Not wanting to sit with her own thoughts and the confession she had released about her feelings, she filled the silence.

“Are these balls usually a big show?”

“It’s one of the fanciest parties of the year,” Eris said quietly. “Everyone is dressed their best, endless food and drink, dancing…it’s usually quite fun.”

“I sense a but there.”

“Nothing was the same after the war.” He murmured and winced when she touched a particularly sensitive spot he’d been ignoring all day. “We could dress up and pretend all we wanted but it didn’t erase how similar it was to Under the Mountain. We pretended a lot back then.”

Iris’s brows furrowed. “Mm. I suppose this event can be the one to reset things to how they once were.”

“One can hope,” Eris said then shifted to look at her. “Do you have any ideas for the kind of dress you’d like to wear?”

She shook her head with a frown. “Mother sent me some designs to look at though she made it seem like it wasn’t something to worry too much about.”

“Only because your dresses are prioritized by our seamstress,” he said with a chuckle. “People get very mean about their outfits for this ball.”

Iris chuckled. “Sounds like you were among those mean folks.”

Eris’s mouth formed into a smirk. “As someone who was always the best dressed there, I can’t deny I am always a little mean when it comes to how I look.” 

Iris rolled her eyes. “Spoken like a true princess.” 

He chuckled but gave her a pointed look. “You can and should make your dress however you’d like.” He said. “I want my wife looking the best.”

Iris’s hands slowed with a slight frown. “I…feel silly thinking about a dress when I’m really going to spend the time worrying about you.”

“Iris.” Eris chided and carefully sat up and Iris held up her hands before he could continue.

“I know we should focus on making the most of these next few weeks before everything goes to hell but I still…feel guilty. I don’t want to waste that kind of time with you putting yourself in danger. Who cares about a stupid dress?”

“I do,” Eris said and Iris’s frown deepened. “I care very much.” He paused for a moment, the tips of his ears heating as he glanced at his wife. “This will be our first ball together. You and I will be opening the event with the first dance and presentation is everything. We are a united front and this is the opportunity to showcase that, regardless of how it’ll end.”

He watched her as she processed what he was saying. Despite all the stress Eris knew he’d be under with this event, this was something he wouldn’t budge on. This day meant too much to him and maybe it was selfish of him to worry about something as minuscule as a dress but with it being Iris’s first ball…he wanted her to have that moment that every beautiful female deserved. And he wanted to be the one to give that to her. 

She narrowed her eyes at him. “It sounds like you’re the one with ideas about my dress,” Iris said and Eris really couldn’t help the corner of his mouth lifting.

“I may have an idea or two.”

“Oh my gods, you have entire sketches, don’t you?” 

Casually, he shrugged. “My designer is always on hand.”

Iris shook her head with a small laugh. “You’re unbelievable.” 

“Wait until you see some of the ideas then complain.” He argued with a huff. “Almost all of them have pockets and folds to hide your daggers.”

“Hide my daggers you say?” she asked and he gave a pointed look as she hummed in response.

Eris could tell he had piqued her interest but Iris only gestured for him to lay back down and he obliged, letting her quietly think. 

“Does this mean we will include some time for additional training in preparation for all this?”

“Absolutely.”

And so, he spent the rest of the evening explaining as much of the plan as he needed to. He wouldn’t let her go into this blind. When they finally laid to rest that night, her body tucked even closer than usual to his, Eris wondered how much longer he could keep his other thoughts about them to himself, especially when Iris wasn’t hesitant to let him slide his hand beneath her robe and caress her skin. 

The look in her eyes and the color on her cheeks told him he could slide his hands wherever he wanted and gods did Eris crave to. Though he didn’t need to use his aching back as an excuse when indeed, it did hurt – Eris wasn’t ready to let himself indulge in her just yet and he didn’t know exactly how he’d explain that to her.

“Is your back bothering you too much?” she asked quietly, attempting to shift again. “I can move for you to be more comfortable.”

Eris shook his hand, gently pulling her back down next to him. “There’s something else we need to discuss.” 

“Alright,” she said carefully, her confusion evident on her face. 

He swallowed, his gaze assessing her from top to bottom, and debated how to explain. How to tell her his thoughts on the matter of their bond. The conversation with his brothers had only solidified this stance in his mind further and despite his hands itching to touch her and his mouth to taste her, the urgency of the situation dampened the carnal desire that was always lingering in the back of his mind. His craving to claim her never went away and Eris knew she felt it, knew she also wanted it. But...

Eris met her gaze and his nerves made him ask a different question, “Do you want children?”

Iris blinked at him, her brows furrowing. “Oh. Um. This is an unexpected question.”

The corner of his mouth lifted as his hand gently traced the sleeve of her satin robe. “We are married. The conversation is inevitable.” 

“I suppose seeing Izak and Helene made it more prevalent for you.” 

He made a non-commital sound and watched as Iris sat quietly for a moment, her expression thoughtful. Considering they hadn’t gotten physical yet, he was jumping ahead with the question but Eris’s answer wouldn’t be any different from what he told his mother earlier; until Beron was dead and gone for sure, it would never happen. 

“I don’t think I’ve considered it as an option where my opinion mattered,” she said carefully. “I knew I’d have to get married and whether I consented or not, I would have to give this person a child. Especially a Prince of Autumn.”

“Ah yes. An heir to the bloody throne.”

Iris chuckled softly. “Yes. I was to be the incubator for your children,” she said and glanced at him. “So in all honesty…I’m not sure. Do you want children?”

Eris glanced at her and shifted slightly, his leg tangled in her own. “Much like you, it’s never been much of an option. It’s always been something inevitable because the Vanserra line must continue.” 

“Mm.” Iris hummed. “Well. If you remove that factor, does your answer change?”

Eris fell silent. Would his answer change? He wasn’t sure. If his father was gone and he didn’t have the pressure of the throne to worry about it, did he see himself as someone who could be a father figure? He had no role models that made fatherhood an enjoyable experience. In fact, from anyone he’d seen, the experience seemed dreadful. 

The only people he could think of who seemed to enjoy it were Rhys and Kallias. They were both mated and married so he supposed they had chosen to have their children rather than feeling forced into it. But how had they navigated that conversation with their wives? Where, whatever children they had would be targeted by people who despised them? 

He met his wife’s gaze and like always, Iris was patient with him. So in the end, he opted for what had always worked best between them, the truth.

“I don’t know,” he confessed quietly. “I hate the word father. I hate the sound of it. I hate the feeling of it leaving my mouth. It’s hard for me to picture being one that doesn’t cringe at the idea of being called that.” Eris licked his lips. “I feel the same way about the word son and I’d hate to think that I would react poorly if I did have a son of my own.”

Iris was silent for a moment before adding, “I hate the word daughter…He rarely used my name but always just called me ‘daughter’. I don’t know how I’d feel to use it.” Shifting beside him, her expression was serious as she continued, “I don’t know if I would be ready to have a child anytime soon.”

Eris shook his head. “As long as Beron is breathing, I will never let myself bring a child into this world so on that, we can agree.” 

“And once he’s gone?” Iris asked and Eris’s brows furrowed as he considered.

“Well. What would you like to do?”

“I think…that I would like us to live life together first. ” she began, her cheeks a lovely rosy color. “You and I both never really got a chance to do much without their influence. I’d like us to experience that before we think about having children.” 

His expression softened at her words and as he looked at his wife, it surprised Eris how the idea of becoming a parent wasn’t as daunting when he had a partner who understood him like this. 

“Do you think we could be good parents?” he asked so quietly, Iris had almost missed it. 

“I think…” she began and allowed a finger to trace his jaw. “That we know what it’s like being around parents who aren’t good examples and that means, we know how to be better.”

“You truly believe that?”

“Eris.” she started and shifted again, her hand now settled on his chest. “I think once the burden of all this is gone, we can do anything. And whenever we’re ready and agree on whether having children is something we want to explore later…I believe we could be great parents.” 

And before he could stop himself, Eris’s mind conjured images he had never let himself consider. Though Izak’s words rang in his mind and he couldn’t help but agree with his brother, about how he never imagined himself being a family man – suddenly, the image of a child – maybe two, of his own was something that sat there. Something he could, possibly, in the very far future…it was something he could imagine. If only because Iris was the one with him.

The corner of Eris’s mouth suddenly quirked up. “It’s strange but…” he glanced at her. “I can easily picture the kind of trouble a mini version of you would cause.” 

Iris snorted, her cheeks tinted pink. “Not as much trouble as a mini version of you would be.”

He chuckled and slid his open palm closer to her for Iris to rest her palm in his. “It’s a good thing we’re putting a hold on that until further notice then.” 

“True.” she said and narrowed her eyes at him curiously. “Is that all you wanted to discuss?”

A heartbeat passed and as his wife watched him, Eris realized he wasn’t as ready to discuss his thoughts on their mating bond just yet. He didn’t know how to tell her that despite craving her so deeply, he wouldn’t tie her down to him in that way just yet. That intimacy between them would have to wait. That while it was agony, it would be…for the best. Even with the bond chafing at his very soul, he was not one to be dictated by desire no matter how deeply he craved it.

And he hated that he wouldn’t bring himself to do more. To approach this better when he should be making the most out of the next three weeks with her. After the promise he had given her the night she found out, that she would be his and he would be hers forever. But he couldn’t bring himself to say anything else, to bring down this mood further, so he nodded tightly. “For now.” 

Her brows furrowed and Eris knew she had started to worry the moment the words left his mouth so before she could open her mouth further, he leaned forward and kissed her gently.

Iris hesitated for a breath before allowing herself to sink into his kisses. She knew he was holding back on something and even as he settled himself over her, his body aligning with hers and the weight of him on her welcome, in the back of her mind, she sensed that whatever the subject was, Iris wasn’t sure she was going to like it. 

[hiraethwa]

one summer day

08 to be human. where ushijima forgets that he is only human and you remind him

<< 07 sun and moon. | >> 09 (coming soon)

pairing: ushijima wakatoshi x reader a/n: sorry it took so long to post this part, it just never came out right - ave word count: 2.6k warnings: angst, fluff if you squint tags: @lemurzsquad

your violin rests on the stand in the corner, practice for the first chair audition forgotten as you once again get distracted checking your phone for any new notifications. 

you click into the group chat anyway, scrolling through their updates from tokyo. the latest text time stamped 8:59pm three days ago was a photo of the three of them at tokyo tower, with a caption of ‘missing our fourth :’)’ from semi,. there was another one of them with their food at their hotel and a collection of random photos that they thought to send you when they are away for a match. 

then there’s the photo you had received from tendo of ushijima doing a push-up while you were eating, causing you to choke on your food and coughing within an inch of your life. you did a double take and true enough, he sent it to you as a private message. 

you had left him on seen, naturally.

sliding down to your knees with your back against the wall, you let the device clatter to the floor next to you. 

tonight the silence is deafening in your ears. you thought you enjoyed the peace and quiet that you get to yourself in your home, but perhaps you had just grown accustomed to it. just like how you had grown accustomed to being around your friends, even enjoyed their company. 

you hug your knees, feeling a certain hollowness in your heart in the shape of a certain someone with eyes of the color of your favorite drink. you allow your memories to rush over you, remembering the night you shared as the weather turned cold, huddled in your barely warm enough jackets with a thin blanket laid out on the freezing ground, sharing your dreams for the future under the night sky with only the stars as your witnesses. 

“i am going to go professional as a volleyball player,” wakatoshi had shared with you. not surprising as he was one of the top three spikers in the country, it had only seemed natural, almost expected of him. “tokyo, maybe.”

you had turned to lay on your side, head propped up on your elbow to look at him in all seriousness. “i never told anyone, but my dream was to go play for tokyo philharmonic orchestra. after all these years, i think i still want to do it.” 

you shrugged, “i know i am nowhere near good enough yet, but i want that to be my reality someday when i become good enough. i have been working hard to audition for the first chair in the school orchestra. the teacher even said that with a little more work i have the potential to be in that position next year.”

you stopped abruptly, having realized you were rambling. it must have sounded stupid, you thought. you were nowhere good enough, unlike wakatoshi, to go to the national stage, and yet, here you were, talking his ear off about wanting to join the tokyo philharmonic orchestra.

you dropped onto your back, looking away into the darkness of the night. “never mind, that was stupid.”

“no, no, look at me.” but you had refused, thinking he was probably just trying to make you feel better about yourself. 

his hand had cupped your face, gently turning you towards him. your heart skipped a beat, feeling his skin on yours, and realizing that he was close enough for you to feel the warmth of his exhale on your freezing cheeks. it was right that moment that you were so sure that your cheeks burned under his touch.

when you met his eyes, you had expected to see surprise, but to your own surprise, you found only pride and belief in them. as if he saw it coming. that he believed in you. 

“let’s go to tokyo together then,” you thought you saw hope glimmering in his eyes that night. 

or maybe it was the reflection of the twinkling stars, you keep telling yourself to quell your own hope rising in your once barren heart. wakatoshi had gone and planted a whole garden lush with flowers of every variety you could think of. had watered and tended to the shrubs with care and affection. with stolen glances and half-smiles. 

in his absence, your heart yearns for its owner. i’m yours i’m yours i’m yours, your traitorous heart whispers in his presence. 

you are afraid. for you have learnt that hope, this fragile thing with feathers, has been singing its tune in your ears this whole time. you are scared of being the only one who feels this way and getting hurt. you are scared that this whole time, you are the only one who needed him, that he does not need you. you are scared that hope has skewed your perception and you have been lying to yourself about the small possibility that he feels the same towards you.

a frantic knocking breaks you out of your thoughts. to your surprise, you find semi at your door with hands on his knees, panting for breath. a ghost of a smile passed over your face, reminded by the time wakatoshi showed up in a similar fashion on your doorstep.

“when did you come home from tokyo?” you frown, unaware that the team is back from nationals. you take in the defeat in his eyes, the quivering hands by his side. and you piece it together. the radio silence since three days ago. the fact that he is back home in sendai. oh. oh. 

shiratorizawa lost.

“i thought he told you, he said-” semi shakes his head. “never mind”

before you could say anything else, semi pushes past you into your house, grabbing a thick jacket and holding it out for you to wear. confused, you oblige, and he pushes you towards the door, fishing out a random pair of shoes. “it’s ushijima. we need to go now before that idiot does something stupider.”

semi pulls you into a fast paced run passing familiar houses and scenery. on a route you recognize because you walk it to school everyday. to shiratorizawa, you realize. 

“semi-” you protest through your panting, unused to the physical exertion on your body. your lungs are burning, throat dry and hurting with every breath that irritates it further. 

the cold wind bites at your skin. the barren tree branches swaying as if urging you on towards wakatoshi. worry clouds your mind, running through the worst scenarios that could be happening right down. if they had lost the nationals, why didn’t any of them tell you? and the ‘he’ semi mentioned, who could it be if not ushijima?

the blood freezes in your veins as you come to the conclusion that ushijima decided not to tell you. ushijima decided not to tell you.

the volleyball gymnasium comes into sight as your breath catches in your throat, feeling it squeezed out of your lungs. lips trembling, you snatch your hand out of semi’s, as you double over, retching onto the exposed ground next to the paved walkway. 

semi looks at you worriedly, rubbing your back guiltily. “i’m sorry”

your eyes meet his, lips parting to ask for an explanation, but not before another wave of nausea hits you. “what happened.” you manage the question before taking a shuddering breath, trying to remember how to breathe as the world spinned before your eyes.

“he’s not stopping. or listening to any of us.” your body sways as you stand up, so semi guides you to the entrance, looping an arm around your waist to support you.

you immediately find him on the court, ordering shirabu for another set. the young setter seems conflicted over his words, but tosses to him anyway after some hesitation. three other players trying to block his spikes. exhaustion showing through their sluggish movements.

and ushijima. you notice the unfamiliar black pad gracing his left knee. semi huffs, “his knee is irritated but he refuses to rest, and the first years are too scared to not listen to him, even if it is for his own good. the rest of us, we tried to talk to him, but he is not listening.”

the sight of him causes embarrassment to bloom in your chest. you have a pretty good guess of who semi meant when he said “he didn’t tell you?” earlier. your cheeks flush scarlet not only from the exertion of running here, but also from the betrayal you felt from being left out of the loop. how could he?

“what makes you think he would listen to me if he wouldn’t listen to you guys? when he didn’t even bother to tell me that you lost in nationals?” you clench your jaw, tamping down on your rising temper. 

“y/n!” tendo shouts excitedly from the other side of the net, looking like his savior just arrived.

you give him a glare in return. they are all complicit in withholding this information from you. 

ushijima winces as he lands on his feet, the spike bouncing off the back corner of the court. your traitorous body reacts instinctively to make sure he is fine, hand reaching out towards him as your feet itches to bring you to him. your heart betrays your mind, worry for his well being threatening to overcome the disappointment and betrayal you feel.

you clench your fist, lowering it to your side. semi gives you a look, to which you respond, “don’t”

ushijima turns around, almost surprised to find you there. then his eyes dart to where semi has his hand on your waist, and they darken as he meets your stare. as if semi crossed an unspoken line. 

you lift your chin, holding his gaze as if asking what about it? your chest heaves in angry short breaths, barely noticing how the court dies down as the second years quietly usher everyone out. 

and then he starts walking towards you, looking so much like a hunter who caught his prey in a trap. you tense, unknowingly taking a small step backwards. you had a feeling this is how his opponents feel when they stand on the other side of the net against him. and yet, they had won the match against shiratorizawa.

you feel taken aback when he leans down and envelops his arms around your frame, head nuzzled into your neck. the sensation of his breath on your skin as he breathes you in skyrocketing your heart rate. traitorous heart.

it is unlike the ushijima you know to behave so intimately. sure, it is common for some physical affection here and there as friends, but this… you swallow. this, you think, is crossing the invisible line as friends. suddenly, the unwelcome thoughts of him liking you back invade your mind, and spiral into whether you should tell him. but what if he does not feel the same way? 

you don’t know if your fragile heart can survive that. you shake your head, banishing the thoughts away into the void.

your brain tells you to push him away, to keep him at a distance with your anger, while your heart wants you to pull him closer and never let him go. you blink, heart at war as the two sides fight for dominance.

you lift your arms to return the hug, but hesitate as the logical side of your mind reminds you of the person in front of you. he is not meant for you. a tiny crack appears in the heart he put back together. you clench your fists, about to let them fall back down to your side, when you felt something warm trickle down the dip of your collarbones. 

and your heart breaks all over again for him. you hug him back tightly, one hand buried in his hand, with the other running up and down his back to soothe his tired heart.

one last time, you promise yourself, remembering the line he’d drawn between you by not telling you about their loss. the last time you put him before yourself, you think, as you shove your own disappointment and anger away. but you couldn’t help the question that popped up in your head before you did just that — what exactly am i to you, toshi?

you know there is no words you can say to make the loss hurt less. you know he has replayed the match over and over in his head so many times to analyze their mistakes, and likely came up empty handed. 

so you offer him something else instead. “you promised me to take care of yourself.” a quiet invitation. a safe space to express his locked up feelings, having to play his role as the captain in front of their team. 

you could almost taste the disappointment and the sadness of the defeat from the way his shoulders started shaking and the warm liquid wetting your jacket. oh, the things you would do to take his pain away. even at the cost of your own heart.

that night, as you pulled the blankets over him after giving him an earful about pushing his limits when his body needed rest and moved to leave, he asked you to stay. despite your better judgment, to which you blamed it on the time of the night, you climbed into bed next to him after putting one of his shirts on. 

with little protest, he had pulled your shivering frame against his, arm slung over your waist as his breathing slowed and he fell asleep. you had whispered his name in the darkness before turning around to face him. 

there was a little frown between his eyebrows that you smoothed away gently. you thought that he looked younger in his sleep with his mouth slightly open in an ‘o’ shape without the weight of the world on his shoulders. your hand rested on his cheek, admiring his profile in the light from the small rays of moonlight peeking through the blinds, bathing him in a soft glow.

with your parents, you thought you had seen the worst love can do to a person. with ushijima, he’s the one who’s seen you at your lowest, the first one you want to tell your good news to, the one you want to see after a long day, long before you fell for him. it hurts on a different level that he doesn’t see you in the same way that he is there for you. that he doesn’t feel he can come to you with his own problems when he was there for you. 

and it frustrates you to no end. what does he expect out of this, really? when he ran to your house that night? it makes you angry, but you don’t regret it. this feeling in your chest, it makes you want to pluck the moon from the sky and give it to him. anything he wants, you will give it to him if you could. 

without him, you would still be lost. he had shown you the way out of that darkness, stayed by your side through it all. why wouldn’t he let you do the same for him?

when the morning came, you were gone before he woke up. there was no trace of you having stayed the night that ushijima could have sworn he dreamed you up in his arms. except a mildly threatening note for him to rest and stay away from practice that sends a smile tugging at his lips.

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[muneca-lemon-steppa]

Interviews for New Beginnings: Part 3

Alfie Solomons x Fem!Reader

Words: 4,990, Warnings: Swearing, Violence, Sexism, Arguing, Man trying to get with reader.

A/N: AAAHHHH PART 3?!!? Guys this is so much fun for me and I'm so glad you guys are having fun too. Is it weird that I feel like we are doing this together? Also guys just to warn you... we are getting a little angsty,,, a little violent... So if you are not into it, comment and I will give you the general plot of this chapter if it become too much! Anyway please enjoy, love you guys so much! And if I forgot to add you to the taglist I am so sorry! Just lemme know and I'll amend it! And if you need to see the other parts, click the tag with the title of the series, and it should have all the parts together! Ok I’m done!

The home of Alfie Solomons was the quintessential diorama of an old man's bachelor pad. Despite the anxious and angsty attempts by his elderly maid Sarah, the home still carried the air of a man who not only preferred to be left alone, but also had no plans of adding anyone into his inner sanctum. There was paper and documents strewn about, half read books piled by his favorite chair, a hosting bar cart that was looking more ancient than him, and a massive dog making his home on the floor in front of the roaring fire. Alfie silently thanked Sarah for her efforts. Sarah was the best housekeeper he could have ever asked for, she was essentially silent, and did not scold him for the ever present animal pen he kept. Then only things she asked for was to be paid on time, for her Sabbath to be uninterrupted, and to be warned ahead of time if there was to be company. Luckily, he never had to concern her with the last item.

With a grunt he landed on his favorite chair, studying the unused love seat and the matching chair to his that sat across from him. It was a set that was meant to host, that was meant to have visitors and entertain. He had no idea why he bought them, they looked exactly as they did when he bought them three years ago. Untouched. And yet he couldn't help but imagine you sitting so prettily on the chair beside him. With every inhale he could smell the lingering scent of you on his jacket lapel. Clean, like plain soap and fresh air. A kiss of lavender oil that washed over him as you flipped your hair out of your face. He could see so clearly you laughing at his jokes, pouring out tea for you and him, rubbing Cyrils face and giggling at Alfie's gruffness. He could see you darning a small sock...

With a groan Alfie rubbed the visions out of his eyes like a dream. Because that's what it was isn't it? A stupid stupid dream. You were so... fresh and sweet and... frustrating and loud and obnoxious and such a know it all and... beautiful and kind and smart and...

Alfie huffed and got up to beg for sleep in his room, but his head on the pillow only ran through these reveries even more. You were much to young. 10 years his junior at least. You were pure and kind, and he was a bad man. It was an unequal yoke to carry. He had killed people in the war and at home. He had manipulated and schemed to get this. And you deserved more. You deserved a good man, a softer man. Someone who lived a quiet life and could give you a life above board, where you never had to look over your shoulder. Someone who was gentle and wouldn't argue with you, would just treat you like the Queen of Sheba. That is what you deserved. Not some old gangster with a bad back and dozens of men plotting his demise. With a sigh he resolved his promise. He would take care of you as long as you let him. Protect you from all the mess and nonsense of this job, and let you be the girl you are. And when it was time to let you go... he'd let you go. He could protect you and honor you ask long as you'd let him, but when the right man came along, he’d let you leave, knowing that you were safe. And with a sigh he rolled over, letting himself sleep for a few hours, his mind slipping off into a world where you maybe chose him, and made that other chair your favorite.

Across Camden you had just finished explaining to your mother that your very kind boss had just brought you home after a late night in the office. You had to assure her that you were safe and that he was very respectable, that no danger was present. Though the constant worrying and fussing irritated you sometimes, she was a good woman, a good mother, who just wanted the best for her oldest child.

Your mother and father got married incredibly young, and were forced to become acquainted with the world and it’s imbalances even earlier. Where you still got to be young and childless and educated, your mother at your age had already had you, and was working in the family tailors shop full time. The day you realized your mother could scarcely write her name, you heard your mother sobbing to your father late in the evening. It was then that you resolved to do your best in everything, making sure your mothers sacrifices weren’t in vain. And if it took a little white lie to keep her from having a heart attack? Well… it would be worth it.

“Ah I just don’t know darling, that seems awfully forward don’t you think? I don’t even remember your father being alone with me ever until our wedding night? Are we sure he is a good man? Do you have anything with you in your purse darling?”

“Mama I promise you everything is fine. I think his insistence in NOT letting me walk home is evidence enough yes?”

Your mother fiddled with the end of her long braid, a habit indicating her anxiety, a motion you know well, “Mmm I suppose… but darling I just worry. Young women now… very very independent and it is good but… oh I just don’t want you to be taken advantage of darling. Will you take a weapon or something with you?”

You laughed, and maybe you shouldn’t laugh at your own mother. But… oh it is your mother!!! The sweet woman that she was! Who refused to go to sleep without a candle, and forbid your father from cleaning his gun around her, and dropped many a plate due to loud noises… what does she know about a weapon!! “Mama what weapon?! Shall I bring a hand gun to work? Mama none of us know how to use a gun, except Papa and Eli! I’m ok I promise! My boss is not a dangerous man!”

From her place in the kitchen cabinet you heard her speak, “Oh hush! Of course not a gun!! You are absolutely ridiculous. No just take this pocket knife ok? Oh please don’t look so disturbed! It is in good condition and your father got it for me when he would have to work late at the tailors! Will just put it in your work bag please? For your poor mother? If you love me you’ll do it!”

With a laugh and a kiss on her soft cheek you affirmed her, “Of course mama, I could never refuse your gifts. Now now mama don’t be cross i am not teasing! Just promise me you don’t worry about me anymore! I am a grown woman and I am very capable of taking care of things. I learned from the best yeah?”

You mother nodded and kissed your cheek back, patting your head, “Yes yes. Well thank you my love. Now I’m off to bed, and you should too. Sleep well my darling.”

As you prepared for bed you felt a heaviness in the pit of your stomach. What would your mother say when she found out you had been lying to her? What if she did find out? What if she sees you with Alfie in the street? No no it wasn’t possible. Your mother hadn’t left this side of Camden in a decade, and she hates going farther than two blocks. No no it’s fine. You’re fine. And technically, it wasn’t a complete lie! No Alfie was honorable! And he was sweet! And he was handsome… and kind…. and smart… and rugged… if he weren’t a gangster you would’ve probably been matched with him… to be his wife.. No no! No what a childish fantasy. Those are the thoughts of a love struck child. He was your boss and that was it! So what if he was handsome? You were his secretary and that was it! And if he somehow decided to… promote you… you allowed a giggle to leave your chest as you blew out the lamp next to you. Tomorrow is another day.

Soon you developed a routine with Alfie, and the next few months seemed to fly like a wonderful dream. During the week you woke up, making yourself and Alfie lunch for day. The walk to the bakery was typically a lovely and brisk one, with the rising sun being your partner.

Upon arriving at the office, you make quick work of saying hello to the regular faces, and sneaking a sweet treat to Ollie. You set the kettle on, making sure a nice hot cup is ready for you and Alfie upon his arrival. A healthy amount of milk and sugar for you. Almost no milk for Alfie, but extra sugar. Then the daily schedule needs to be attended to. After working with Alfie for a few months you’ve developed a system of who gets what treatment. Some names get tea and a pleasant seat. Some get very bitter tea and must stand the entire time while they wait. Some get absolutely nothing, and are made to stand with their back to Alfie’s door, wondering how they will be summoned. Shot or call. During the meetings you take copious notes. Partially to make sure you don’t miss anything that Alfie will need to call upon later, partially to make visitors nervous about what is being recorded. You had become quite the necessary tool for Alfie. You added a certain glamour and class to the office. A sort of authority in the way you walked that continued to make weak men sweat in the office. Alfie’s favorite part of these meetings was having you re-read what was said, noticing that you added a certain something to keep the pressure on the other party. You were proving yourself an absolute natural.

It was during a day like this when Alfie came back from a ‘social visit’ with a big smile on his face, “Shalom treacle!! Get your coat darling we’re going out!”

You looked up from the calendar you were organizing, “Shalom Alfie, what do you mean we are going out? You have an appointment at 2, and you need to look at the numbers from last week and-“

“Hush woman, fuck the meeting I said we are going out.”

He grabbed your long coat from the hook, and held it open for you to put it on, “Now my love we have very special things today. You remember the gaming club Tommy mentioned? Well he found a place right? And today we are going to look at it and get a price for it.”

As you put your arms through the sleeves, and grabbed your scarf from Alfie you can’t help but question, “But what does this have to do with me? Why do you want me there?”

Alfie then finished his dressing of you by handing you your bag and offering you his arm, “What does this have to do with you? What does this have to do with you? Have I heard that right? Well my dear you put the fear of the devil himself into men like no other. Make them piss themselves. No no don’t laugh treacle it’s true! I need you to strike fear in the hearts of these sinners and help me find the holes. Think you can do it darling?”

The way he smiled at you… it made you want to do anything and everything for him. You smiled and nodded, “Let’s get on with it then.”

Alfie smiled even greater at the small smirk that played on your beautiful lips. He loved it when you worked with him like this. You walked arm and arm, laughing and carrying on like mischievous children ready to prank their teacher. You arrive at the possible location still laughing when you meet Thomas Shelby, and two other men, who you can only assume are the other Shelby brothers that you’ve heard so much about. Your eyes meet with Tommy’s, and you feel your stomach drop at the wink he gives you before walking toward you and Alfie. “Alfie, glad you could make it, “ he stoops down to grab your hand and kiss it, “Good to see you again darling. Let me introduce you to my brothers.”

You’re introduced to both Arthur and John. Your eyes soften at both their faces. John’s eyes show a soft mirth, a sweetness of a young man who still has so much to learn, much like Eli. Arthur… just looking at him your heart is heavy. You don’t know anything about him but his eyes look sad, and there is a weight to his shoulders that make you already feel quite sorry for him.

It takes about three flights of stairs to reach the top floor of the building. It's musty, clearly has not been used for some time, there are cobwebs and piles of dust over every counter, and the once white cloths covering the tables are now a dingy gray. Your wide eyes look up and around the space, clutching your notepad and pen to your chest, "What did this place used to be?"

Tommy answered, "It was once a bar, a little club run by some young idiot who thought he knew his way around this business. Couldn't make it past a year. Now.... it's been sitting vacant. Waiting for us."

You stray from Alfie's side, making notes of everything that would need to be done, "What all is included in the sale?"

"Everything. Tables, counters, fixtures, chairs. All for a reasonable price if you ask me."

"Mmmm Alfie will be the judge of that I think. Alfie, the wall paper will need to be redone yes? I think a richer color on the walls."

Alfie looked at Tommy and smiled, "Yes you're quite right treacle. A wine red yeah? Something indicative of the debauchery of such a hell hole."

"Mmm yes. Tommy, John, Arthur... how stable is this bar counter? How much would it cost to replace it?"

And so went the rest of the afternoon. You milling around the space making notes and sketches, and supplementing with the comments of the men in the room, who may or may not have been following you like ducklings. John and Arthur pulled curtains to let light in, and frankly John was more than willing to do what it took to gain a pleased smile from you. Once adequate notes had been taken, everyone sat around a table, waiting for the agent to come by and agree to a price.

During this part of the meeting, you tended to hold your tongue, only responding to when Alfie asked you to ‘refresh’ his memory on a particular point. It was these parts of the meetings that you could really see Alfie work his magic. Tommy Shelby and Alfie Solomons couldn’t be more different. Where Tommy was smooth and steady in tone, Alfie was a hurricane. A bear of a man who ripped things to shreds. Though on the surface it looked as though Alfie was merely destroying and rebuilding on a whim, there was a method. Study his opponent, memorize the motions and responses to his moves, and utilize it against them. Use previous information to flip and return on his enemy. It was a studied craft. Something you knew that had worked on for a long time. It was an art piece, and with every wink he threw your way, it was clear it was not just an act, but a piece of him. He was a gangster, through and through.

Soon enough, a deal was reached, and a plan was set in place for renovations to start the very next day. And in accordance with their 50/50 split, equal men of Shelby’s and Solomons’ men would be taking part in the work. All the men shook hands, you nodded and smiled at the Shelbys, quick to rebuff Tommy’s offer to take your hand again. Alfie seemed to be in a particularly good mood, and as you walked out of the building, he looked at you and said, “Oi... you hungry?"

You stopped and peered up in his eyes that were partially obscured by the wide brim of his hat, "Mr. Solomons are you asking me to dinner?"

He rolled his eyes, "Oh goodness... see this is why you can never be nice right? Because there you go... being cheeky with me... can never be a yes or no with you yeah? It's always got to be something with you innit? I mean - "

"Alfie Alfie! Yes I am hungry! Now take me to dinner and buy me a drink yeah?" You laughed at his blustering and grabbed his arm, making him meet your eyes, he huffed in response but couldn't keep the smile off his face.

"Buy you a drink yeah buy you a drink! Buy you a hobby so you stop harassing old men. I mean don't you have anything better to do than just be mean to your old boss?"

You laughed as you both walked away down the street, "What do you mean a hobby? My whole life now is just doing your bidding isn't it? And someone must keep you humble, all that business makes your head explode."

You let Alfie lead you to a clandestine pub a few blocks away, shrouded by family businesses and laughing people. As soon as Alfie walked in, the wait staff scurried around, clearing a table in the corner for both you and Alfie. Soon enough you had been given food and drink, and you felt increasingly more relaxed in your seat, facing away from the door opposite of Alfie. You allowed yourself to day dream in the comfortable silence you occupied. It didn't feel like dinner with your boss. It felt like dinner with a friend. Dinner with more than a friend. You imagined about what it would be like with Alfie all the time. To spend the afternoon with him walking through town, enjoying the sun and the conversation. To be taken to dinner with him, meet with friends and repeating faces. To be taken back home with him... sit in front of his fire... to fall asleep with him...

"Hello... treacle??" You're knocked out of your reverie with Alfie's bejeweled fingers waving in front of your face.

"Oh my gosh Alfie I'm so sorry! Yes whats wrong?"

Alfie laughed heartily head thrown back, "Goodness darling your mind must've been in fucking Timbuktu! I was asking if you wanted another drink?"

You felt the heat flush to your ears and cheeks and chuckled in your embarassment, "Oh my goodness I'm so embarrassed. No no I'm fine Alfie thank you. You go, I'll keep our table."

Alfie nodded and went to the bar to grab another glass of Rum. You proceeded to look around the cozy pub when a man slid into Alfie's seat. "Well hello beautiful. Mind if I sit here?"

Your eyes rushed to him. Young. Could be handsome if he cared to bathe and wash the stink of liquor off of him and change his shirt. His eyes were bloodshot, and he was sweaty. Stupid. Clearly so. "I'm sorry but you must be mistaking me for someone else. I'm here with my boss and you are sitting in his seat."

He sneered and winked at you, "Oh I saw the old man alright. Solomons yeah, I know him. I'm not too worried about the old man darling. Why don't you come sit with me yeah? I promise I am much more pleasant company."

The irritation was brewing in your stomach, but in truth you didn't want to cause a scene, "If you know Mr. Solomons then you either have a death wish or you are stupid. Please leave and get away from me. Mr. Solomons will not be happy to see you in his seat."

"You calling me stupid?"

"I am. You are clearly an imbecile, and a drunk one at that, now if you excuse me."

You proceeded to get up to find Alfie, when the man stood up and grabbed your arm, "You dumb bitch, how dare you get up. I'm trying to be nice to you!"

The table fell over with a clatter, and you began to scream, "Get off of me!!"

Before you could say another word Alfie came through wretching the man's hand off your arm, squeezing the man's neck."Now you listen to me right? You apologize to the young lady right now."

The young man's face began to slowly turn red, but he managed to splutter out, "Or what? You're gonna hit me with your cane?"

Alfie only seemed to squeeze tighter, and you saw something in Alfie's eyes that you've never seen before. It scared you. "No... no no... this is what's going to happen. If you don't apologize to the sweet young lady here. I will kill you. If you do apologize, I will not kill you. Now I think... I think that is a pretty generous offer yeah? And little man... I think you know who I am. And I think you know that killing little vermin like you doesn't bother me the least bit yeah? So what will it be? Quickly now!"

Without Alfie letting go, the slowly purpling face gasped out, "I'm sorry. I'm so... sorry ma'am."

You nodded back, feeling bile rise in your throat. Alfie dropped the man unceremoniously on the floor with a crack of the table. Without looking away from the gasping man he yelled to seemingly no one and everyone, "OUT!"

Every patron but you and the owner scrambled out with out a second thought. The bar owner locked the door and went to the back, and you felt your pulse quicken ringing in your ears. The sick in your stomach swirling. Alfie circled the still gasping man, who had bruises blooming on his throat, "Now... who taught you to grab women like that eh? Who said that was ok?"

The man didn't respond, and in anger Alfie kicked him right in the ribs. You screamed behind your hands as you heard the sickening thud and crack. Alfie grabbed the man by the collar and shoved him against the wall, 'WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? YOU THINK YOU CAN GRAB MY SECRETARY! YOU CAN GRAB MY GUEST?"

The young man began to sob, begging, and saying he was sorry. Alfie only continued, "Oh you crying now yeah? I thought you said you knew about me and weren't scared. That's why you thought you could harass my sweet secretary yeah? Well let me get you better acquainted."

With that, you saw the Mad Baker of Camden for the first time. Beating and beating and beating the man in front of you. Blood coating the knuckles of Alfie, as the young man's face proceeded to take the most brutal beating of it's life. You tried to stay quiet but it became too much, "ALFIE ENOUGH! It's enough Alfie!"

He paused, fist mid air as the man quivered underneath him. Alfie turned to you, "Enough? It's enough?? This man touched you without your permission and this is enough?!"

"You're going to kill him Alfie! Please enough!"

"I determine when it's enough!"

And he went back to punching him, growing more and more wrathful. And it became too much when the groans stopped, but the punches didn't. All you could do was scream at Alfie and weep. When Alfie finally finished and was heaving, you shoved a napkin in Alfie's hand and left without a word.

You began walking down the street, the tears streaming down your face. You didn't want anyone to see you crying, and the slowly setting sun aided. It was going to be an hour walk home. Your feet will hurt by the end of the night. But you didn't care. You needed the walk. You needed the air. You needed the scent of blood out of your nose and the sight of Alfie out of your mind. You had walked for who knows how long when you heard Alfie's voice yelling over the sound of a car, "Get in the car NOW!"

You looked over your shoulder, Alfie was yelling your name out the window of the car, with Ollie driving. You turned your head back and kept walking forward. You kept hearing Alfie curse, yelling your name, "Stop being a child and get in. DO AS I SAY NOW!"

"OR WHAT? YOU'LL BEAT ME WITHIN AN INCH OF MY LIFE??"

You tried to keep walking, but in a dangerous move the car sped and swerved in front of you, blocking your walk. You gasped as Alfie got out of the car, with a red stained, jeweled finger in your face, "Listen to me... you stop this act. You get in the car right now. You can be angry at me all you want but listen to me... you do not walk home alone. You work for me, you don't walk alone at night. Now. Get. In. The. Fucking. Car."

Tears were still streaming down your face, and you were so so angry with him, but you didn't have a choice. And your feet were hurting. With a huff you walk in the car, not letting him hold the door open for you. You sat in your seat, nodding at a very embarrassed looking Ollie. As soon as Alfie sat next to you, you stared out the window, looking at all the apartments whose occupants were definitely not listening in to your argument. You sat in silence for a few moments, but you couldn't hold it in any longer, "That was too far Alfie."

"I decide what is too far."

"You could have killed him."

"And the world would be better for it."

"You cannot treat people like that Alfie. He was just a child."

"A child who definitely would have hurt another woman in the future, he needed to learn a lesson."

You turned to him then, "Oh and that's how people are taught then yeah? Beating them to a bloody pulp any time they make you upset?"

He leaned in to your face, getting dangerously quiet, "This is my life darling. This is what you signed up for."

You scoffed, "I did not sign up to be a witness to you being a beast! This is not a way to live! This is heinous! You don't have a right to treat people this way!"

You didn't realize your volume, or the way your heart was racing. You were heaving, tears streaming down your face. His eyes... fixated on you. There was rage but you knew it wasn't at you, "I have every right darling. This is the life that has been given to me. Everything that I have, everything that I can give to you, Ollie, and the rest of the men in that distillery, is because of what I do. This world that we live in darling? You think that's fair? Nah... that ain't fair. If you want anything in this life... you need to take it. Grab it with both hands and never let go and never let anyone else take it. This is the way this world works beloved. This. This is what you signed up for. Now either grow up... or don't come back to the office."

You breath stopped. You didn't even consider that option. You felt more tears fall as you turn to face the window again. The rest of the car ride was in agonizing silence. You hated every minute. Alfie made no noise except a huff. After an infinity, you finally reached your home before you could move Alfie put his hand out, "Don't get up yet."

He grumbled as he got out of the car, looked around at both ends of the street, and then went to your door, opening it and helping you out. You refused to meet his eyes but you took his hand. You also let him walk you to the door, and as you reached for the door, you hear him cough and say, "I want you back at the office treacle alright? Course I do. But you really need to decide whether you can handle this. I hate seeing you upset I do darling. But this is who I am. This is the business. Now you need to decide if you can do it. Alright?"

You nodded your head limply. He just patted your head, feeling sick in his stomach, "Alright then. I'll know your answer if I don't see you tomorrow. Good night sweet heart."

"Goodnight Alfie." You whispered, turning your back quickly to run upstairs. Alfie would drive home in complete silence that night, agonizing about what would happen.

You ran past your whole family gathered around mending the laundry in the sitting room. You refused to tell you mother what happened, and didn't let Eli in your room. When your younger sister asked you what was wrong, you just cried in her chubby baby arms, while she patted your head with her child palms. You cried in your pillow, reliving the vision you saw, wondering what to do. You didn't want to see that kind of violence, you had never seen anything like that. But you loved this job. You loved your freedom. You loved spending time in the office, laughing with Alfie and meeting new people. You tossed and turned all night, but sleep would not take you. It was well past midnight when you finally felt the exhaustion of the day creep its' fingers over your eyes.

And then you smelled the smoke.

Tag List: @jokersqueenofchaos @hoodeddreams13 @satur9-saturnalia

[bteezxyewriter12]

Mine

Pairing- Yoongi x Named Reader

Word count- 6.9k

Includes- Pussy eating, fingering, blow job, deepthroating, cum eating, sort of threesome- Namjoon and Hobi come to play too, cock riding, sort of gangbang or orgy?, voyeurism, missionary, fluff during sex, angst, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere @svnbangtansworld @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @marvelfamily3000 @amyz78 @blueie-things

Gif Credit- jung-koook

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝BTS Masterlist 📝Yoongi Masterlist

J POV

I moan from the pleasure I’m feeling

Yoongi’s tongue is working me good and getting me so close

His tongue is sliding on my clit so fast and so fucking good

He takes my hand, putting it in his hair

“Pull”, he demands

I do as he asks and pull on his hair

He groans in my pussy, the sound vibrating through my body

The keyboard and knobs of his sound mixer are pressing into my back

As soon as I walked into his studio he took my clothes off, putting me on his desk

He kissed me hard, while I got him naked in a second

Then he pushed me down, opened my legs, his tongue on me and he’s been there ever since

He’s so fucking amazing with his fucking tongue

He knows where to lick, suck and bite to make me orgasm hard, how to tease me, which I hate

He’s been teasing me our whole lives, albeit in other ways

I met Yoongi when I moved to Daegu from the U.S. when I was four

We met at school and just clicked

Best friends instantly

I was devastated when he left for Seoul but I supported his dream one hundred percent

I thought he’d forget about me but he never did

He called me almost every day, texted and hung out when he could

He also didn’t forget me when BTS became huge

And when he bought his apartment he asked me to move into it

I said no, it was his, he should live there

He said he was going to be living in the dorm for awhile and he wanted me to move to Seoul to be closer to him

It took a lot of convincing but I eventually gave in

When one of BTS’ hair stylist left, Yoongi asked me to take the job

So I did and now I get to see him all the time

“C'mon baby. I want your cum. I haven’t had you in a week and I need it”, he whines

I decide to tease him to make him give me more

“It’s not my fault you can’t make me cum”

His eyes snap to mine and narrow, “Fucking take that back”

“No”

“Joanne. Take it back. You know I can make you cum so easily.”

“Then why is it taking so long?”

“You’re going to fucking regret saying that when you can’t fucking walk tomorrow”

Hell yes

Exactly what I want

He’s done it before and the sex was so fucking wild

I loved it

“You think you can do that again?”, I say provoking him

“You know I can fucking do it again”, he growls

“Then do it”, I challenge him

“I fucking will”

Thank god

His mouth closes on my clit and he sucks fast

“Holy shit”, I yell, pleasure crashing all over me

I never thought I’d ever have sex with Yoongi

He’s my best friend

But our relationship became sexual six months ago

He came to his apartment to hang out

We we’re both really horny and before we knew it, clothes were ripped off and we had sex

Fucking mind blowing sex

All night

After that we couldn’t keep our hands off each other

So we decided to become best friends with benefits

And sex with Yoongi is fucking incredible every fucking time

But I just had to be stupid and fall in love with him

Yoongi licks me again, making me snap

“Oh fuck! Yoongi!”, I scream, coming in his mouth

“Yes, fuck yes”, he moans, still running his tongue all over

His licking is building up another orgasm

Fuck he can get me to cum so quickly again

He slides his tongue inside and I shout, coming instantly

“So fucking good”, he mutters

He sucks on my clit again when I hear his door open just as another orgasm takes over

I pull his hair, holding his mouth on me while coming

“Fucking best thing I ever tasted”, he moans still licking

“What the fuck?”

Shit

Yoongi’s head shoots up, looking behind him at Hobi and Namjoon

Who are staring at us

I snap my legs closed and put my hands on my breasts

I blush, feeling my skin turn red

“What the fuck what? What are you doing?”, Yoongi snaps

“We…we came to talk to you about the rap line song”, Hobi stutters

“We didn’t uh know you be….uh”, Namjoon says averting his eyes

“Eating”, Hobi blurts, then widens his eyes and turns red

“So you just stand there?”, Yoongi snaps again

“I uh we…just…uh..”

“You just what? Want some?”

What?

From Yoongi’s voice I can tell he’s smirking

“What no!”, Namjoon says just as Hobi says, “Yes”

What the fuck is going on?

Namjoon looks at Hobi surprised

“What? Yes?”

“Yeah”, Hobi answers, “Don’t look surprised, you know you want her too”

Seriously?

“So what do you want? To eat her out or sex?”, Yoongi asks

Is he fucking serious?

“Both”, Hobi answers

“Yeah both”, Namjoon repeats

Oh god

I watch Yoongi shrug

“It’s up to her”, he says

The way he so casually says it, the ways he’s ok with me fucking his friends hurts

I mean I knew there was no chance with him but to hear him like this, like it doesn’t matter….it kills me

“Do you want them Jo? You wanna be with Namjoon and Hobi too?”, Yoongi asks

The way he’s acting, like I’m just some kind of sex toy, pisses me off

If he doesn’t care, then I don’t either

“Yes”, I answer

Yoongi’s eyes widen for a millisecond before the “I don’t care” attitude is back

I’m not even sure I saw it

He has no idea how much he just hurt me

But whatever

I put my best smirk on for Hobi and Namjoon

“Take off your clothes”, I say

Namjoon and Hobi look at each other unsure

Fine, I’ll do it I just have to let go all of my feelings and just have fun

I get off of Yoongi’s desk, walking over to them

Namjoon’s eyes widen when I get to him, scanning my body

I have to stand on my tip toes to wrap my arms around his neck

Then I pull him closer and kiss him

His arms automatically go around me, pulling me against him

He’s already hard

I move my hands down, getting to his jeans and unbuckling his belt

Next the button and zipper, then I pull his pants and boxers down

He’s breathing heavily, making me smirk that I can get him so worked up easily

My hands go back up his body taking his shirt off

Jesus he’s fucking beautiful

“Damn Joonie”, I mutter, making him blush

Pulling him down for another kiss he kisses me back

I let go of him and turn to Hobi, who moved away

His mouth is hanging open, eyes wide in disbelief

“Come here Hobi”, I call

He immediately walks over to me

Hobi is shorter than Namjoon so I don’t have to reach up so high to kiss him

I also don’t have to do that because he immediately bends down, his lips on mine in a second

I get Hobi’s clothes off in a few seconds because he’s helping me

It’s like he can’t wait to get out of his clothes

I like the feeling it gives me

He wants me that much

It’s nice

I take a look at him and my eyes pop out of my head

“Holy shit Hobi!”, I gape

He’s so fucking hot

But even though they’re both gorgeous, they don’t compare to Yoongi

Not for me which shows how stupid I am

Hobi shows his excitement much more than Namjoon

Hobi hasn’t stopped kissing me or running his hands on my body

His hands are soft and warm

They feel nice

When Hobi starts kissing my neck I look over at Namjoon

He’s just watching

“Come here Joonie”, I call holding my hand to him

He comes over, taking my hand, going behind me

When I put his hands on my body, he starts touching me everywhere, moaning softly

Leaning my head against his shoulder, he bends down, his lips on mine

He slides his tongue in and I just enjoy the feeling of kissing him

He’s a good kisser

Not as good as Yoongi but then no one compares to Yoongi

Not for me

Again, I’m a fucking idiot

Hobi moves down, putting his mouth on my nipple and sucking

“Mmmm”, I moan in Namjoon’s mouth

Hobi’s other hand plays with my other nipple, while one of Namjoon’s hands slides all the way down my body

He touches me, making me moan again

He starts playing with my clit and it feels so fucking good

Hobi switches to my other nipple licking, sucking and biting as Namjoon slides his fingers inside

“Fuck”, I moan when he starts moving them in and out

“So wet”, he moans in my ear

His fingers brush against the spot inside that drives me crazy

“Shit”, I yell my legs buckling

Namjoon and Hobi instantly put their arms around me holding me up

“There Jo? You want me to touch there?”, Namjoon teases

“Yes, Joonie. Yes”

“Ok, whatever you want”

His fingers move harder, making me so wet, getting me so close

“C'mon Jo, cum on my fingers”, Namjoon moans

Hobi sucks on my nipple just as Namjoon’s fingers hit my spot

“Fuck fuck”, I yell, tightening on Namjoon’s fingers, coming all over them

My legs give out but they’re still holding me up

Hobi drops down to his knees

His tongue licks me, just as Namjoon pulls out his fingers

“Fuck Hobi, God”, I shout, his tongue feeling so good

But I wish it was Yoongi’s tongue

Stop it

Yoongi doesn’t care

Stop

Namjoon puts his fingers in his mouth and sucks me off him

“Fucking good, holy shit”, he whispers in my ear

God damn

That’s the second person who told me I taste good

I guess I do?

Hobi moves my legs open more, making me lean more against Namjoon

Hobi sucks on my clit, making me yell in pleasure

“Oh god, oh god”, I yell

Namjoon turns my head, kissing me again, his hands playing with my breasts

My hand goes in Hobi’s hair, pulling

“Fuck yes”, he groans

He just has to keep doing what he’s doing and I’m gonna cum soon

Really soon

“Don’t stop Hobi. Fuck don’t.”

He sucks faster while his tongue glides over my clit

Pleasure washes over me as I orgasm

“Fuck, fuck, fuck”, I shout, feeling so good

Hobi moans in between my legs, turning me on again

Hobi stands up, “You taste fucking amazing”, he tells me

Jesus

I want to make them feel good too, so I start to go on my knees

“Jagi”, I hear Yoongi call me

I look at him

He looks….annoyed?

Why?

He doesn’t care, so what’s with the face?

“I made you cum first remember?”, he asks

He did

I guess he feels like he should get it first

“What do you want Yoongi?”, I ask smirking at him

“You know what I want baby girl”, he answers

I bite my lip and tilt my head a little

It’s drives him crazy when I do that

“You gonna be a good girl and do what I want?”, he demands

I know what he wants when he calls me those names

I guess he wants to show Namjoon and Hobi his dominance?

I don’t know but I’ll always do what he wants, give him what he wants

I love him and I’m such a sucker

“Yes daddy”, I answer

“Fuck me”, Namjoon gasps

I straighten up, walking to him

Yoongi is the shortest of the three and he’s the perfect height for me

Because of course he is

I kiss him, putting my arms around his neck

When he puts his arms around me, pulling me against him, I get so happy

Stupid heart

“I want you baby”

“What do you want? Tell me and your baby will do whatever you want”

“Goddamn”, Hobi exclaims

“You know jagi. Stop playing”

I nod, “Daddy wants his baby girl’s mouth on his cock”

“Mother of god”, Namjoon whispers

“Yeah jagi”, Yoongi answers

I nod, then kiss him again

I kiss his neck, then his shoulder, trailing kissing down his body, his skin shivering under my lips

I love that I’m making him feel like that

The lower I kiss, the lower I go until I’m on my knees

Kissing down his cock, I pull him in my mouth when I get to his head

“Fuck”, he moans

I start bobbing my head on him, just feeling him in my mouth

I can’t believe I actually love it

It’s insane

I just love him, all of him

I’m such a loser

I slide down more on his cock, until he’s all in my mouth

I wasn’t able to do this when I first started having sex with him

But we’re together all the time and I love giving him blow jobs

So now I can put all of his huge cock in my mouth and throat without it bothering me

He loves it and I do it for him

Like I said, I’m stupid, so whipped for him

“Good baby. You’re such a good girl”, he moans

Moving back and forth, I suck and lick him all over

I pull back until just his head is in my mouth, then I start licking his sensitive underside where he loves it

Just like I have a spot, this is his

He can cum so quickly if I keep licking him there

“Oh Jesus, fuck”, Yoongi whimpers, “Jagi….ccc…can I…”

I nod

He puts his hand in my hair and pulls me on his cock, until he’s all in again

He starts moving his hips, fucking my mouth

He feels good going in and out of my throat

I don’t know when this became pleasurable for me but it is

It’s so hot, turning me on so much

His pleasure turns me on

I can cum from this and honestly I’m almost there

“Baby girl…I….are you?”, he pants

Nodding, he slides all in again, coming hard, making me shake and cum too, screaming on his cock

His cum fills my throat and mouth, tasting so fucking good

I swallow over and over, while he still moves, yelling

“Fuck jagi, oh my god, yes”

When he’s done, he slides out and I swallow again, making sure I got everything

Yoongi takes my hands, pulling me up

He kisses my cheeks, over and over, “My good girl”, he murmurs

I lay my head on his shoulder, feeling tired, his arms around me, running his fingers in my hair

“Did she just cum from blowing you?”, Hobi yelps

Yoongi turns to him, smirking, “Yeah”

“What? How? What?”, Namjoon questions

Yoongi shrugs, “I don’t know. It just happened once and since then it happens almost every single time”

“She’s fucking amazing”, Hobi says looking at me with lust in his eyes, “Can I have her?”

I stare at Yoongi, willing him to say something, say that he wants me now and they can leave

Yoongi stiffens but all he says is, “Ask her”

I’m disappointed again

I wish he’d say no

“Can I have you Jo?”

Looking at Yoongi, I see a look of indifference on his face

It’s like a knife to my heart

I look back at Hobi

“Yes”

Fuck Yoongi

If I’m just a sex toy to him, then I don’t need to worry about him

Leaving Yoongi’s side I go to Hobi, immediately kissing him

He kisses me back, his tongue going in my mouth right away

Pulling away, I take his hand and lead him to the couch Yoongi has in the studio

Pushing him down, he sits while I climb on him

“You want it Hobi?”, I ask, smiling at him

“I want you”, he answers

Slowly I sink down his cock, making him moan

Fuck he feels good

He’s big, but not as thick as Yoongi

No one feels as good as Yoongi

Sliding up and down his cock, he yells in pleasure, arms around me, his face in my neck

Moving faster, pleasure runs through me. I put my arms around his neck, my hand sliding in the back of his hair

“Fuck you feel so good. So fucking tight”, he moans

Hobi’s hands slide to my hips and he starts slamming me up and down his cock

“Fuck”, I yell, the pleasure increasing, “Hobi fuck”

He goes harder, his cock slamming into my spot

“Oh god! Shit. There Hobi. Fuck there”

“Ok Jo. Whatever you want”, he moans

“I want more!”, I yell

He moves from my neck, biting his lip as he moves me faster, over and over and over again

I’m right there, just one more

I get slammed down again, losing it

“Hoseok!”, I scream, exploding all over him, my legs shaking

“Oh my fucking god! Oh fuck”, he shouts, keeping me on him as he cums, “Holy shit, yes!”

When we both finish, I collapse on him, so fucking tired and sleepy

Hobi holds me in his arms, kissing my face

“Jo, can I have you too? Please?”, Namjoon begs

I’m tired but I can’t say no

I gave it to Hobi, it won’t be fair to Namjoon

And I do want him

“Yes Joonie”

I feel myself being lifted off Hobi and onto Namjoon’s cock

He goes in so easily, feeling good

He’s big too, thicker than Hobi

“Fucking hell, she’s so tight. How is she this tight?”, he moans

“I don’t know but she feels so good”, Hobi agrees

He puts my arms around his neck

“Hold on Jo. I’m gonna fuck you good”

I smile at him, then lean in and kiss him

He kisses me back, while he leans back, keeping me sitting up

He puts his hands on my hips, then thrusts up into me

“Fuck!”, I yell getting so much more wet

“Fuck she just soaked my cock”, Namjoon moans

Namjoon keeps thrusting up and soon I’m bouncing on his cock because of it

My breasts jiggle hard from how hard he’s fucking me

“God yes, yes, Namjoon!”, I yell

I suddenly see Yoongi sit down next to Namjoon, watching me

Looking upset

But the pleasure Namjoon is giving me is taking over and I don’t care

All I want is to cum

And sleep after

“Joonie..”, I whine

“Yeah Jo?”

“I wanna cum Joonie. Make me”

“I will Jo. Don’t worry, I will”

He thrusts up, so hard, pleasure exploding over me

“Joonie, fuck, Namjoon!”, I shout, climaxing again

I lost count of how many times I came

But it still feels so good

“Jesus Jo. Fuck”, he moans, orgasming too

I climb off him and lay down, which happens to be on Hobi’s lap. His hand goes in my hair, running his fingers through it

I love it

Playing with my hair can put me to sleep in under a minute

I close my eyes, breathing hard

I feel Namjoon and Hobi’s cum leaking out of my cunt

Like a slut

I’m too tired to move right now

Then I feel a tissue on me cleaning up everything

It’s a little embarrassing having someone do that

I don’t want to open my eyes to see whose doing it

Then I’m picked up and put on Yoongi

He’s half sitting, half laying on the couch and my head lands perfectly on his chest

“You tired jagi?”, Yoongi asks, kissing my cheek and moving my hair from my face

I am but I want Yoongi

We weren’t together yet and I want him

So much

I nod, “But I want you Yoongi.”

“Yeah baby? You sure you’re not too tired?”

I shake my head

I’m never too tired for Yoongi

“Ok jagi. I’ll help you sit on daddy’s cock baby girl.”

He lifts me a little, moving himself right there

Then he pushes me down on him

I sigh in pleasure when he’s inside, so happy he’s there

My muscles automatically tighten on him, keeping him in

I love having Yoongi inside my pussy

He’s perfect, filling me so good

Sex has never felt so good as it does with him

It sounds stupid, but he has the perfect cock

“Good girl Jo. Always tight and wet for daddy”

I nod, moving my head and laying it on his shoulder, my face buried in his neck, smelling the scent that is only Yoongi

I feel him thrust up causing pleasure to explode everywhere, making me moan

“Feels good baby?”, he asks

I nod

“Good. You feel so good too”

He keeps thrusting harder and harder the more he moves

His arms are around me, holding me to him while he runs his fingers up and down my back

I shiver from his touch

Yoongi always knows how to make me feel good and I’m close again

“Good girl baby. I feel you getting tighter. Is my baby gonna cum on daddy’s cock?”

I moan and nod

“Good baby. You know how much I love when you cum on me”, he murmurs

He snaps his hips up again, hitting the right place

I moan his name so loudly when I cum on him

Yoongi’s breathing gets faster, “Yes baby. Fuck, it feels so good”

When I finish, Yoongi asks, “Baby, can you bounce on daddy’s cock? Please, for me?”

“Yes”, I agree

I’ll never say no to Yoongi, because I love him

I sit up and look down at Yoongi

He’s looking at me, biting his lip, hands running all over my body

“You’re so fucking beautiful Joanne. So perfect. My perfect girl”

Happiness bursts in my dumb heart

“Holy shit”, I hear one of the guys whisper

I ignore them and so does Yoongi

I lean down, kissing him, loving his soft lips against mine

Then I sit back up and move

“Fuck. Good girl. My baby always gives me what I want”

“Always Yoongi”, I say softly

I lean back, putting my hands on his thighs, bouncing on him

His cock feels so fucking incredible going in and out

He touches all the right spots without even trying

“Fuck Yoongi, you feel so good.”

“Not as good as you jagi”, he answers

I’m so fucking tight on him, it feels amazing when he pushes through

I squeeze harder making him gasp

“Fuck baby, yes”

Slamming down on him, my body shakes and cums again

“Daddy! Fuck daddy!”, I moan, ecstacy exploding all over me

“Good girl, my good girl. Fuck, so tight”, he yells, “Don’t stop baby girl”

He starts thrusting up again, slamming right into my spot

“Fuck!”, I scream

His fingers play with my clit while he keeps pounding my spot

“Yes! Keep coming baby. Scream my name baby. I want to hear you”

“Yoongi I-”

“You can”, he demands, “I need it baby. Please, I need you”

“Fff…ffffuuu…”, I struggle to speak as my body shakes violently against the ecstasy

“Now baby. Give it to me. Now!”, he pleads

He hits my spot right when his fingers flick my clit

Stars burst in my vision as I cum so hard

I feel Yoongi’s arms go around me, keeping me from falling over

“Yes Jo, yes. I love it jagi. So much”

When I finish, Yoongi moves, putting me on my back on the couch

Hobi and Namjoon scramble to get up

Yoongi puts my legs around him and starts moving slowly

Pleasure blinds me for a second and when my vision comes back into focus, I see Yoongi’s beautiful face

He’s smiling at me, then leans down, his lips on mine in a gentle kiss

“Mine”, he whispers, running his fingers in my hair

I nod, my arms going around his neck

“Only mine?”, he asks

Is he…jealous?

“Yes, just yours”, I answer

The smile that bursts on his face takes my breath away

He’s so beautiful

“Mine?”, I whisper back

He nods, “Always”

He moves harder making everything feel so amazing

He’s sweating, his skin wet against mine

I don’t care, I love feeling him on me

He’s everything

I’m getting close again from his slow but deep strokes, his pelvis rubbing against my clit each time

“Yoongi”, I moan

“Wait baby girl. Please. Wait for me”, he asks

He’s never asked that before

He usually cums after I do

But I’m not going to say no

“Ok baby”, I answer

Yoongi kisses my neck, moving faster, my pussy throbbing so hard around his perfect cock

“Jagi”, he whispers after a minute

“Yeah, baby?”, I ask

“Yeah”

I stop holding back and just let go

Fireworks go off in my vision when I orgasm, shaking under him and holding him inside tightly

“Yoongi, oh, my Yoongi”, I moan

Yoongi cums at the exact moment I do

I can feel him while he does, his cock throbbing, his warm cum filling me perfectly

And fuck, it feels so good

“My jagi, my baby girl. My Joanne”, he moans too, kissing my neck and shoulders

We both grip each other so tightly to one another while orgasming together

This is the first time that’s ever happened to me with anyone

I love it

I love that it’s with Yoongi

I want to tell him I love him so much but I won’t

I can’t

I’m not ruining our friendship

I know he was saying sweet things to me but it was during sex and he could of just said it in the moment

I can’t take the chance of asking him and ruining everything

Of getting my heart crushed

So I just lay with him on me, in my arms listening to him breathing

I close my eyes, so tired from all the orgasms I had

I’m half asleep when Yoongi moves

“Huh?”, I groggily say

“Shh Jo. It’s ok. You can sleep. I still have to finish a few songs so you can sleep. I’ll be here with you”

I nod, listening but ready to pass out

I feel a blanket being put on me, then Yoongi’s lips on mine in a quick kiss

I hear him talking, to Hobi and Joonie I guess, before I fall asleep

--------------------------------

Yoongi POV

I put the blanket I always keep here for her on her, then kiss her lips gently

My poor baby is so tired

I grab the pillow I keep here for her too

Gently lifting her head, I put the pillow under her head

She’s in such a deep sleep already, she doesn’t wake up when I move her

I take a second to look at her gorgeous face, running my fingers in her hair a few times

I can’t help but smile watching her

When I stand and turn around, Hobi and Namjoon are staring at me in absolute shock

I roll my eyes

“Put your fucking clothes on”, I snap, walking past them to my own clothes

Once I have my clothes on, I sit in my chair, looking at my computer screen

“We can talk about the song now. She’s really tired so she’s not going to wake up”

“Yoongi”, I hear Namjoon say, “Do you-”

“Yes”, I cut him off

“Does she..”

“No and I’m not going to tell her”, I answer

“Why?”

“Because I can’t handle the rejection she’s going to give me and I’m not going to ruin our friendship”

I don’t want to talk about this

It’s not gonna happen so I just need to forget

“Yoongi, I uh, I think she loves you too”, Hobi says

I snort, “Of course she loves me. I’m her best friend”

“No I mean like the way you love her”

I wish

But she doesn’t

If she did, she wouldn’t have slept with him and Namjoon

“No she doesn’t”

“Yes she does”, Namjoon replies

“No”

“Yoongi she does. You don’t notice it but I do. It’s the way she looks at you. The way you two were together. Like there’s nobody else in the world except you two. Trust me she loves you”

I wish I could but I can’t

I know she doesn’t love me

“Drop it. She doesn’t and that’s it. Talk about the song or leave”, I snap

“Fine but your being blind and stupid”, Namjoon snap

Whatever

They stay for half an hour talking about the song, our parts, the lyrics, the music

“Yoongi”, she murmurs

“Shit we woke her up”, Namjoon says

“Yoongi, no, I don’t want the dinosaur”, she mutters

I can’t help but smile

She’s fucking adorable

“What?”, Hobi asks confused

“She talks in her sleep”, I answer

“She what? Really?”, Namjoon asks

I nod, “Yeah, she’s been doing it since we were kids. Scared the shit out of me the first time it happened”

“That’s…kind of creepy”, Hobi states

I glare at him, “No it’s not. It’s cute. She’s always talking about dumb things like dinosaurs, pokemon, food. It’s cute to listen to. And she doesn’t do it as much as she used to”

“No dinosaur. I want…I want…”, she trails off, then is silent again while she sleeps

I love listening to her talk in her sleep

And sometimes if I answer her back, she’ll answer too

It’s fun to fuck with her because when she wakes up I tease her about the conversations we had

“Well I guess we should go”, Namjoon says, “You coming back to the dorm?”

I shrug, “I wanna finish this, then I’m gonna take her home. I don’t know if I’m going to come back here”

“Ok we’ll see you tomorrow”, Hobi says, then they leave

I glance over at her

She’s snuggled in the blanket, still asleep

I smile, then go back to work

--------------------------------

I stare at the ceiling thinking about what happened tonight

After the guys left I worked for another hour

Then I brought her home

She wouldn’t wake up, so I dressed her and carried her to her car

I drove her home, changed her into her pjs and put her in her bed

I didn’t want to leave

I just wanted her

I always want her

Sometimes I sleep at the apartment with her if we have sex at night

I know she won’t care if I stay, so I did

I kept my shirt and boxers on, then laid down next to her

And that’s where I am now, laying next to her, holding her and staring at the ceiling

I knew I loved her from months ago but I kept pushing it away

I made myself believe I didn’t

That’s why I said ok to Namjoon and Hobi being with her

But actually seeing her with them pissed me off and made me jealous

Hearing her yell their names when she orgasmed enraged me

I realized how stupid I’ve been

I wanted to rip her off them, tell them she’s mine and kick them out

But I couldn’t

She doesn’t love me, not like that

If she did I don’t think she’d have been with them

I wish she did

She’s everything I could ever want in a girl and more

She’s my best friend, she’s known me our whole lives

She’s seen the worst of me and she’s still here

She helped me with my depression and anxiety, she supported me through everything with BTS

She was there when I had no one

There wouldn’t be any awkwardness, no getting to know you, no shyness, no waiting or wondering if I’d say or do the wrong thing

She knows me completely, inside and out

And I know her the same way

I’m one hundred percent sure she’s perfect for me

And I’m perfect for her

If only she loved me too

All these thoughts are running through my mind when she starts moving around

She always wakes me up with how much she moves but I never get mad

“I don’t want to”, she mumbles, talking in her sleep again

I laugh and decide to fuck with her a bit

“Don’t want to what Jo?”

“Don’t want you. I want him”

Jealousy flares through me

Him?

Who him?

“Uh who Jo?”

“Him”

“Him who?”, I ask

She turns in my arms, facing me, still asleep

How she can sleep through all this moving and talking I don’t know

It’s kinda worse tonight than it’s usually been

Just when I think she’s fully back asleep, she speaks again

“Yoongi. I want Yoongi”

Me?

She wants me?

“Not you. Yoongi”

Who the hell is she talking to in her dream?

“Why do you want Yoongi?”, I ask her, feeling dumb saying my own name

She murmurs something I can’t hear

“What Jo?”

“I love Yoongi, not you ”

My heart stops

She….no she can’t

And I can’t trust what she’s saying now anyway

“You love Yoongi?”, I ask again

“Yeah..I..I..”, she trails off, breathing evenly again

I don’t know what to think

Does she love me?

Or is it just a dream?

“Love Yoongi”, she mutters

I look down at her to see if she’s playing around and she’s really awake but she’s not

She’s dead asleep

So I take a chance and ask her, “So why don’t you tell him?”

“No…he doesn’t…”

“Doesn’t what Jo?”

Why am I asking these questions?

Even if she says what I want her to say, she probably won’t remember it in the morning

“Doesn’t love me”

“Yes I do Jo, I love you so much”, I blurt

"And the dinosaurs. Want the dinosaurs"

She snuggles closer to me but doesn’t say anything else

How am I supposed to sleep now?

All I’m going to be thinking about is what she said

I sigh, preparing for an all nighter and pulling her closer to me

--------------------------------

I feel fingers running through my hair

It feels good

When I open my eyes, her beautiful face is in my vision

She smiles at me, “Hi Yoongi. I’m sorry I woke you up. You can go back to sleep”

Just looking at her smiling at me, fills me with love

“I love you”, I blurt

Shit

Why?

My stupid mouth has to run before I can get fully awake

Her smile fades and she raises an eyebrow

Might as well tell her

“I love you so much Jo. I want you. I want you to be mine. Just mine”

She sits up

I do too, facing her

“But Yoongi…if you love me…then why didn’t you say no to Hobi and Namjoon when they asked to be with me? You looked like you didn’t care at all. I kept waiting for you to say no the whole time but you didn’t. How can you love me when you let your friends be with me too?”, she asks looking upset

What?

She was waiting for me to say no?

“I….I”, I trail off

Why didn’t I say no?

I mean I know why I didn’t the first time but the second time Hobi asked to have sex with her I knew I loved her but I didn’t say no

I should of said no

“I….I made myself believe I didn’t love you. That’s why I said ok the first time they asked. But after watching you with them, I was so angry and jealous. I finally accepted that I was in love with you. But I didn’t think you felt like that for me and I couldn’t tell you what to do. So I didn’t say anything. I wanted to say no so much and I should have but I didn’t”

“Yes you should have because I love you too Yoongi”, she says

“You do?”, I ask, hoping she’s serious

She nods, “When you didn’t say no and looked like you couldn’t careless, I just went with it. It hurt that you didn’t care and I figured if you did you wouldn’t let it happen. But you didn’t stop anything so I just went with them. If you would of said anything, if you would of told me you didn’t want me to be with them, I wouldn’t have done it. I just wanted you. I always just want you”

I’m such a fucking idiot

I had her the whole time but I didn’t know

And she was telling the truth last night

“I kept looking at you hoping you’d say no or stop everything but you never did. You…you looked like you couldn’t give a fuck”

I should of paid attention

I should of noticed her looking at me

I should of read her face

Fuck, I’m stupid

“I did care Jo. I do. But I thought you didn’t love me because I thought you wouldn’t be with them if you loved me.”, I explain

“I do love you Yoongi. So fucking much. You��re the only person I’ve ever fallen in love with.”, she says, her eyes averting to the wall

“You’re the only person I’ve fallen in love with too. And I’m happy about it. I always thought I’d be terrified of being in love but I’m not. Because it’s with you.”

“So now what? I already slept with your friends. No one wants a slut for a girlfriend”, she sighs

She didn’t just call herself that did she?

No fucking way

She’s the furthest thing from a slut

“Joanne, you’re not-”

“Yes Yoongi. I fucked three guys last night one right after the other. That’s what a slut does.”

I gently move her face so she’s looking at me

“Don’t you ever fucking call yourself that again. Do you hear me? You are not a slut. I never want to hear that word or anything like it when it comes to you. Ok?”, I demand

I never want her to think that about herself

She’s no where near a slut

She’s my everything

She’s still looking at me, “Ok Yoongi”

“Jo, look last night happened ok and we can’t change it. I don’t care about it. All I care about is right now. I want you so much. I promise I’ll treat you like my princess because you are. You’re my everything, you have been for awhile. You said you just want me, well I just want you. Only you. Please be mine”, I ask

She nods, “Yeah Yoongi. As long as you’re mine too, I’ll be yours”

“Yeah Jo. I’m yours. Just yours, I promise”

“Ok Yoongi”, she smiles, taking my breath away

Leaning to her, my lips touch hers, her arms going around my neck

Gently pushing her back, she lays down and I hover over her, just kissing her

I move down to her neck, just feeling her soft skin under my lips

“God, I love you so much”, I murmur against her skin

“I love you so much too Yoongi”, she answers

I know I’ll never get tired of hearing her say that

“Yoongi”, she moans

“Yeah baby?”

“I want you”

“Again jagi? Yesterday wasn’t enough?”, I tease

“Never Yoongi. I can never get enough of you”

Fuck me, she’s the best

I’m so lucky I have her

“Good baby. Because I want you all the time”, I answer

I pull her pj shorts down, getting them off in a second

I feel her hands pulling down my boxers, so I help her get them off

“I need you now Yoongi”, she moans

Fuck, she’s turning me on so much

Opening her legs, I thrust inside, both of us yelling at the same time from the fucking amazing feeling

Leaning over her, I kiss her again and start moving

“Yes Yoongi, fuck”, she yells

I absolutely love how much she loves me inside her

She pulls my shirt and rips it off me

Still moving, I pull her up, taking her shirt off immediately

“You’re so fucking sexy Jo. Fuck I love looking at you”

She blushes

“Baby, you’re beautiful. Don’t think otherwise”, I tell her

“Ok baby”, she says softly

I feel myself getting close

I wanna cum with her like last night

That was the best orgasm I ever had because it was with her

The girl I love

So I hold back, moving harder into her, making her tight little pussy cream my cock good

She’s so beautiful, just looking up at me

Her hands are running all over my back, feeling so good, loving her touching me

“Yoongi!”, she moans, right there

“Baby”, I whisper, thrusting again

“Fuck Yoongi”, she screams, tightening on me so much, her body shaking under me when she cums

As soon as she starts, I let go, coming at the same time

“Joanne, Joanne, Joanne!”, I scream, just feeling the pure pleasure she’s giving me

“Oh my god, oh my god”, she shouts

“Holy shit, fuck, fuck”, I yell

Jesus Christ, it’s fucking amazing

When we both finish, I lay on her, not able to move

My head is on her chest and I hear her heartbeating rapidly

I kiss her right where I hear her heart and her arms tighten around me

She starts running her fingers in my hair, feeling so good

“What are you doing today?”, she asks me, “Were you able to finish the songs last night?”

I shake my head

“Not all of them”

“Oh ok. So you’re gonna do that, then practice right? You wanna come here after?”, she asks

She’s crazy if she thinks she’s not coming with me today

“What do you mean? You’re coming with me today right?”, I ask

“I am?”

“Yea. I don’t wanna be without you. I want you with me. If you want.”

“Yes, I want to. I didn’t know if you wanted me to go today”, she says

“Of course I want you too. You’re my girlfriend. I want you with me all the time”

“Ok Yoongi. I’m good with that”, she answers

“Good baby. I love you”

“I love you too Yoongi”

I smile at her, pulling her into a kiss

I’m so happy, I got the girl of my dreams

[gojolvs]

I still want you.

Chapter 4

⤿ Satoru Gojo × reader

Falling in love with the Satoru Gojou wasn’t an easy task. You truly love him but will this come to an end?

Warning/ tags; angst, profanity, smoking, cursing, smut, cheating gojo, baby daddy gojo.

Genre; angst, cheating, infidelity, jik, Gojou × reader

Notes: the tag-list is open if you'd like to be mentioned everytime i update just send me a message, also excuse my writing I got too lazy to edit it lolll.

Previous chapter ⤏ Next chapter

Opening the door you couldn't believe it. Grabbing all your belongings you silently sobbed. He actually cheated. The man you desired and loved every single day had cheated on you and had felt zero remorse. All you could feel was abhorrent towards your husband. Even calling him your husband was bad enough. Walking into the house you could feel the coldness. Sighing you could slightly see your breath. Initially, you called yourself crazy for thinking Satoru might love someone else. You couldn't believe he did that to you. In spite of everything, you desperately wanted this marriage to work. Not being able to believe what your own eyes saw you tried pinching yourself, trying to see if you were dreaming. Hoping this was nothing more than a dumb dream and that you awoke to your husband hugging you tightly. Unfortunately to your demise this wasn't a dream. This was the harsh reality, a reality you couldn't seem to accept no matter what.

In a state of sadness and anger, you felt like you had been punched in the stomach. You felt totally dismayed. All you could do was sob. It felt like you had been stabbed in the throat. Did he fall out of love so long ago? She was everything you weren't. She had beautiful long brown hair, her eyes were a dazzling shade of hazel. She was tall and slim, she had a beautiful figure and her curves were literally perfect. She had the most beautiful smile you've ever seen. It broke your heart knowing that Satoru left you for an amazing person. What a sight for sore eyes you thought. You weren't even half as pretty as she was. You loved him so much you just couldn't let go. Satoru was and is your husband but it hurt you so much. Did the 4 years of marriage mean nothing to him? Did all the memories you created together mean absolutely nothing???

Opening the bedroom door you were hit with a wave of sadness. Seeing your cute little stuffed animal that Satoru had won in those stupid carnival games, breaking your heart every more. The excruciating silence that made you feel empty and alone. Just remembering seeing him so happy left you with a sore heart and tightened chest. Tears streamed down your face as your cries echoed through the room. You felt your heart breaking with each sob that left your lips, and your tears seemed to never stop flowing. The sound of your cries were so loud and powerful that it seemed to fill the entire room. You were such a mess. It felt like your whole world came down crashing on you. Your once husband had fell in love with another woman. Despite your attempt to save this stupid marriage that couldn't be saved to begin with left you dumb-founded. Your doleful eyes continued to sob as you remembered all the good times you spent with your husband.

Why is it so cold? Why is it so go damn cold in this fucking room. Seeing the marriage photo at your night stand you grabbed it, with anger you threw it at the ground seeing how the picture you once loved so much meant nothing to you. You couldn't care less if Satoru came home now, seeing how u ruined your so called "lovely home".

What was so much better that she had that you didn't? She wasn't the one who awaited for his arrival. She wasn't the one who wouldn't stay up late at night waiting for a call or even a simple text. No, she was the one who had gained all his love and attention. Not you, never you. Grabbing your hair you fell onto your bed. Bringing your knees up to your chest you tried your best to not cry. Despite everything all you could do was cry. Why did she win? Did you do something wrong?

Im sorry I was the one who caused the arguments, im sorry I was the one who was being "over dramatic" or maybe sorry I was the only one who cared about this damn marriage. You curled up in a ball, burying your face in his pillow as the tears streamed down your face. You never felt so alone, so helpless, and so broken that the only thing you could do was cry in your bed. You lay on the bed, and his smell still lingered in the sheets. You thought you had moved past the pain, but the scent of his cologne brought it all back in a wave of hurt and betrayal. You had trusted him, and he had broken that trust. You had never expected that he would do something like this to you.

Feeling so weak you didn't even care if Satoru came in and saw you like this. At this point you just wanted this whole day to end. Despite knowing that he had cheated on you, you still found yourself eagerly awaiting his arrival. The feelings you have for him were so strong that you couldn't help but hope he would come back and make things right. Even though your head told you to turn away, your heart could not give up on him. Getting up you walked towards the restroom. Washing your face you felt a certain chest pain When you finally looked into the mirror, your eyes were red and swollen from all the tears you had shed. you couldn't help but feel a deep sadness in your chest as you gazed upon your tired reflection. It was a reminder of how much you had been struggling and how far you still had to go.

"Y/N?" There he was. It was him who broke your heart, who had your heart in a tangle. Seeing your frail appearance, his eyes widened. His hand caressed your face as he ran to your side, "Are you okay?" He asked, "What's wrong?" Slapping his hand away you scoffed.

All of a sudden he fucking cares huh? As you got out of the restroom, you pushed him away from yourself . You felt discomfort in your feet as you walked towards the side of the bed. Seeing the glass photo you had of your wedding day. "Get away from me Satoru." Walking towards the bathroom you tripped groaning in pain after your foot had been stabbed by the small shards of glass

You felt Satoru walk towards you, picking you up bride style before walking towards the restroom and placing you on top of the sink. "Let me see" grabbing your foot he saw the small glass shards deep in your skin. Flinching when he touched it your eyebrows furrowed. "Let me help you." You felt tears starting to form, shaking your head you bit your tongue.

He grabbed the small medkit that was under the sink, carefully he grabbed small tweezers. Swabbing a bit of alcohol on the sole of your foot you sighed. You could see a bit of lipstick smudged in his jacket. We're you really that clueless? Did you never see anything that didn't belong to you? Or where you just too scared to admit that there was another women in his life.

"Who is she?" Looking up his eyes widened. He quickly looked down, taking out the small glass before applying antiseptic on the sole of your feet. Bandaging it he got up, washing his hands he looked at you with a gentle smile.

"There you go, all done." Opening the bathroom door he stopped in his tracks. Gojo looked at you confused perking himself up in shock and confusion. "What?" he replied.

"Satoru answer me. Who is she?" Getting up you moaned in pain. You couldn't believe he was ignoring you, not answering a simple question. You scoffed at his reaction. He clearly heard you the first time but he pretended to not. "You could've told me you fell out of love but instead you stayed with me and lead me on." You couldn't even cry anymore.

The white haired man was stuck and had no idea what to say. "Who's who?" He turned to face you, grabbing your hand you pulled it back. Who does he think he is? He broke your heart. You laughed at his words looking at him you couldn't believe who he had become.

"Who's the girl you kissed in the cafe Satoru thats who. Who's the girl you fell in love with." Biting your lip you hoped he called you crazy and denied the whole time but he didn't, He didn't even care. "What did I do wrong Satoru? Is she that much better than me? Did our marriage and kid mean nothing to you when you were out with her while I cried my fucking ass off?" Your heart ached

You couldn't do this anymore. This wasn't the Satoru you once fell in love with. No this was just a random man who meant absolutely nothing to you. "I love you Y/N." You were taken aback by his words, and in a fit of rage, you slapped him. You couldn't believe that he would say those words after he had betrayed your trust. You felt hurt and angry, and you wanted him to feel the same way.

"I can't believe you," you scoffed. After all he's done, how could you believe him when he says he loves you?

"You expect me to believe your bullshit? You can't love two people at the same time Satoru. You just fucking can't." You snapped pushing him away from you. He hung his head low, he didn't even say a single word back. You sighed "I want a divorce."

He was taken back, his eyes widened and his fists clenched. "What?" Attempting to grab your hand you pushed him away again. You couldn't believe he was acting like this. Acting like this marriage meant nothing to him. "I want a divorce Satoru. Go be happy with her." He forcibly hugged you tightly, he couldn't loose the only person that understood him.

You gulped heavily, "Don't touch me." You whispered shakily. "You got what you wanted didn't you?" You scoffed, a hiccup following shortly after and you looked at him with pure doubt written across your face.

Not a single tear came out, you felt your face feel numb. You felt so cold, sighing while clasping your hands together. Rubbing them together to try and get some sort of warmth out of it. Grabbing your purse you exited the room, Satoru quickly following behind. You knew this marriage was over when Satoru didn't even fight over this. When he just completely gave up on trying to explain himself. You should've known his loyalty didn't even stand high enough for you.

Just to make matters worse the doorbell rang.

"Coming!" Leaving the room you had seen the desperation in Satorus eyes. Opening the door you could see a familiar face. Immediately wiping your tears the door swung revealing your little sister standing at the door frame. Seeing your face her heart dropped.

"Y/n? Are you okay?!" Her eyes widened when she noticed your fraile figure and your saddened face expression. "Im fine!" You said rubbing your neck and quickly plastered a fake smile. Seeing your little sister after years did help you a bit but you still couldn't stop thinking about him.

"Are you sure? You look so doleful." Walking inside the house she gave a small hug before placing a hand on your forehead "And your burning hot we should get you to a doctor."

"No im fine, enough about me how are you?" Staring at Satoru you gave him a look that basically screamed act normal.

"No Y/n, what's the matter?" She grasped your hand and placed it in hers. It doesn't matter how much she annoys you at times, you love your little sister so much. While looking down, you spotted an engagement ring. "What's wrong?"

"Is that?" You glanced at her and looked down at her ring finger. That's right, it was. Your little sister had gotten engaged. Despite being happy your heart broke already knowing that she was going to ask you a question you couldn't say no to. Oh god, you thought.

"Don't change the subject." Her eyes were laced with concern. Her eyebrows were scrunched a bit, her hands squeezed yours in return to your sigh. She was the best, your one and only sister you had. Looking at you she looked at Gojo raising one eyebrow.

"It's nothing really. You're engaged?" You felt appeasement seeing her eyes sparkle and the mention of an engagements. Maintaining eye contact you forced yourself to let out a small giggle. Crying you embraced your sister, hugging her tighter by the minute.

"Yes! And I was planning to ask you if you'd be my maid of honor and Gojo the main groomsman!" Feeling your heart ache after hearing his dumb name, your closed your eyes in despair. You couldn't ruin this for your sister, nodding you gave her a sweet and bitter smile. It'd be hard discussing with gojo about this marriage your sister was having. Having to pretend that everything was okay was going to be a difficult challenge. I guess you were just going to have to pretend that everything is fine between each-other, even though you knew it wasn't.

"Yes of course we can." Biting your lip you looked away, avoiding eye contact. Pursing your lips you decided to smile at your sister. Sumire was at your friends house Shoko. She instantly agreed to take care of Sumire while you went home and grabbed all of your belongings and moved in with your mother, but of course you had gotten distracted with your dumb feelings and went straight to your house. Your sister started talking about wedding stuff, making you uninterested at the conversation. You were about to get up and excuse yourself when a certain detail had caught your eye.

"And after everything I'm planning to have my wedding at Hawaii because that's where my fiancée was raised." Clasping her hands you could see the excitement in her eyes. Wishing you could go back in time and remember how happy you were when you planned your own wedding with your family. "Also we're going two weeks prior the wedding because I want all of us to get along so pack your suitcase and hire a babysitter for that little rascal Sumire."

Two weeks with Satoru by yourself, you couldn't even bare thinking about sleeping with him on the same bed after everything. Convincing yourself that you could do it you agreed to this stupid thing. You must really love your sister if you agreed to stay even one more week with your cheating husband.

“So pack your suitcase cause we leave in three days.” Kissing your cheek she excused herself yapping about how she had to do so much stuff she couldn’t stay any more longer. Closing the door you waved goodbye. Rubbing the bridge of your nose you didn’t want to face him again. Gojo was patiently waiting for you on the couch. He was scrolling on his phone before looking up to you.

“After her wedding im signing the divorce papers. As for now act like a normal couple, and don’t even think this means I forgive you Satoru because I don’t and i don’t think I ever will.” Walking away from him you closed the bedroom door. Not caring if he sleeps in the couch you fell onto the bed.

Im so fucked.

taglist; @allofffmypeaches @wo-ming-bai @nerdiel-has-no-braincells @creolequeen11210 @yevene @doughnuts-eater @narutosagemode @lilith412426 @pandoraium

[castleofclouds]

ᴛᴏ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏʏꜱ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ᴅᴀᴛᴇᴅ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅ Nct Dream Alternative Universe OT7.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅ pairings ; ot7 × reader (yn)

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅ disclaimer ; fiction, cursing, 18+ content, kms joke and many more.

Story are by © castleofclouds, do not copy or repost without watermark!

‧₊˚ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖‧₊˚ ⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖‧₊˚ ࣪﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪sumarry : your life was peaceful until your stupid friends start giving you ideas of making thread about ur exes, stirring a whole new problems for you, suddenly one by one of your past start running back to you and opening old books of you and them, how do you act in this situation?

genre : gotta be fluff! texts (sometimes smau) angsty, slowburn, romance, humor, mention of 18+ content.

tag : @bluedbliss @luvandletter @1daily2lele7

To All The Boys I've Dated : Jar Of Cookies

You felt like God was playing a a games on you, to see how you will react if suddenly people you have lost suddenly visit you again, this time for quite a long time.

There he was, standing on your door with a jar full of cookies on his hands, his blonde hair glowing under the lamp light, his eyes twinkle, catching your presence as he processed.

“Yn? You lived next door?” He repeats.

How can, one of your exes showed up again, he changed his hair but you knew that face, that smile lines, that crease on his eyes, everything, he looks astonishing especially under the basketball ring, you knew this scent. Your favorite scent.

Chenle, he is here.

“Oh.. Uh, hi? Umm.. Yeah, it's.. Uhh,” you stutter, how can you act on this situation? Your ex, one of from the many you wish you can just run back to, can you even look at him? See him? You both broke up quite long time ago, and the break up was different than Renjun, Chenle was nothing but sweet to you. No drama, no argument, just ended.

You swear you could see him smiling on the corner of your eyes, as he looks at you as if he is an angel.

“Btw, we are neighbors now. I hope we can get along pretty well from now on, please take care of me Yn.” He beamed, as he walked back to his unit like nothing happened.

How? How can he be here?

You fell down to your knees at your doorstep, today was really something you never expected in 30 years. How can today be this unpredictable?

You sigh, opening your phone you don't know who to reach, you can't believe you will do this but you open one of your friends chat box. Yangyang were never your first go to when in need of privacy talks, reason number one, he yapped too much, reason number two, he had a nosy attitude, number three, he is annoying.

But you need someone to calm you down, and yangyang was the only first person that came into your head as you start searching for his number.

You dialed him up, and thank God he is picking it up, he asked what happened and after a long yapped he didn't spend any minute and just went straight to your house, on this day you started to wonder if he is actually a good person that mistaken a lot or he is just a pervert that love to tease anybody around him.

He came knocking at your door, as soon as you saw him you hugged him tight and never let go.

Well despite his characters you tell almost every secret you own to yangyang, he yapped too much but hey the guy knows how to attend to your need, across from karina he knew different way to calm you down, he didn't asked you anything until you volunteers to do it yourself, and yangyang knew alot about Chenle case the most.

Chenle case was different than any exes you had throughout your life, he is the one you wished to back to you the most, you wish so many things for him, you manifested him a lot, and now he is here you are trembling and doesn't know how to act, is that even appropriate to do? What if he actually knows you as one of his exes, and that's it?

You think too much, as yangyang wrapped you in a blanket and let you take a nap, you fell asleep quickly due to the headache of crying.

As soon as you wake up you saw your phone were full of chat messages from your chat group you open to see yangyang take a picture of you sleeping and karina and winter was not having it.

They were cussing and shocked, that you laughed at it, you feel sad that you couldn't tell your friends karina and minmin (winter) about your problems, but you bet soon or later they will knew and understood why you called for yangyang here.

When yangyang found you already laughing and giggling at the phone he knew you saw his texts and get closer.

“Like what you see?” he teased. You giggled and throw the blanket at his face, “This is the time where you only look kind, tomorrow morning you will asking me to be your alpha mate.” you joked, he shrugged and laughed it away.

“Well I prefer to be an omega than an alpha, suck to be you ig?” he shake his head, after a few minutes the laughter finally stopped as you take a quick breath, he looks at you as he rubbed your back, helping you to calm down.

“Feel better now?” he asked with worries, you nodded away, “Yes, totally.” you answer he sighed.

“Then that's good, gosh how can suddenly Chenle just knocked on your door like that?” he bring the subject after making sure you didn't mind to talk about it, you think twice before answering, “I don't know how suddenly both of my exes showed up in my life again,” you respond his mouth wide open, “What do you mean by two?!” he gagged.

“Renjun showed up too, he is the guy that brings me to the hospital yesterday and paid for my medicine.” you explained, he shocked putting one hand on his mouth.

“That guy that broke up on you just because he is a jealous jerks?” he affirms, you shushed him down, “He isn't jealous, we just had an intense fight.” you claimed.

“Intense fight? Be for real right now, he is a jealous jerks, he always jealous by your first boyfriend, and always trauma dumping on you.” yangyang didn't hold back, but you held him down.

“Yang, he isn't that bad, he just had a rough relationship with his parents that he kinda become protective.. But yeah, otherwise he is still a jerks.” you continue nonetheless.

While both of you talks about how your exes were pain is the ass, you heard a knock on your door, you get on your feet and walk to the front door opening it to find karina and winter at your doorstep, they bring a lot of stuff.

“Oh my, what happened? I came as soon as I see those weird text from yangyang,” you could tell from karina sweat crop top and her messy hair, while winter on the other hand was taking a breathe as if she just finished a whole marathon.

“Oh my, my babiess! I'm fine babe, just had some talks with yangyang, wanna come in?” you open the door wide enough for the to join inside.

Yangyang smiles at them, “Yall were late to the party.” he teased Winter eyed him with distaste, “You didn't do weird things to my girl don't you?” yangyang put one hand on his chest and gasped.

“How can you think that lowly of me!” he gasped, being dramatic as usual, Winter sees him and decided to drop the case, she knew he would be unstoppable if she gives him stage, that man will make a musicals.

As you had fun on your chit chat, you didn't notice you had a text message from someone. Who could it be? It's seems like someone you knew?

Previous, Masterlist, Next.

A/N

Back againn after quite a time, actually kinda wanted to write the next part already but kinda stuck which scenarios I should make next, and stuff gosh, but because I'm in the good mood today so I think you deserve to read the next part for this story, how do we think? I don't know when will you read this post tbh, but I hope it's on the morning because that way I can cheer you to do your routine today ^^ btw next part gonna focus more on other ex so be sure to stay tuned!

[dragon-kazansky]

Spirit of the sea

Izzy Hands x Reader (GN)

You were a member of Blackbeard's crew long ago. Then you became a ghost story. Izzy Hands only sees you in his dreams these days, until he sees you for real when investigating Stede Bonnet. This sets him on a rollercoaster of emotions between you and what his captain is doing.

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}

Warnings: Calico Jack. Sad Izzy. Sad you.

Chapter Seven - Blind Man's Cove

♡♡♡

Izzy sits in Spanish Jackie's bar. He had just made a deal with the British Navy to hand over Stede Bonnet. When the Navy left, Izzy was left to sit on his own at the back of the bar. He had his head in his hand, his hair messed up from where he had ran his fingers through it. In his other hand was the ring he wore around his neck. It felt heavy in his palm.

"Be safe," he whispers.

He stared at the little piece of jewellery and then closed his fingers around it, closing his eyes for a moment. God, he wishes you had come with him. He wanted to mend the damage done from 6 years apart. He wanted to be able to look at you and feel normal again.

Stupid fucking Stede Bonnet.

And yet, it was because of Bonnet they found you again. Still, he needed to get rid of the man. He needed his Blackbeard back.

He just hoped you would find it in your heart to forgive him what he had done.

♡♡♡

It was late at night. You had fallen asleep in Izzy's old bed once again. Lucius had been earlier to check on you as he done every night so far.

You had only just drifted off to sleep when you heard voices. One of them was definitely Edward. He sounded excited.

Sighing, you sat up. "What is he doing?"

You get up out of bed and make your way up onto the deck. What you see was not what you were expecting. No fucking way was Calico Jack onboard the Revenge.

"Fuck off."

At the sound of your voice both Jack and Edward turn around. Ed looks beyond excited.

"Look who found us! Jack, Calico Jack!" Ed grins.

Jack grins too, but his is more of a smirk than a smile. "Long time no see. Last I heard, you were a spirit haunting the waters."

"Yeah, that... that's just a story," you say. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Came to see ya both, didn't I?" Jack drapes an arm around your shoulders and guides you back toward Edward. "Three pals back together again! Just like old times."

♡♡♡

Stede wakes up to the sound of cannon fire. He comes up deck to find you leaning back against the railing as Edward and Jack have their fun. The rest of the crew are present too.

"What's going on? Who are we attacking?"

"Hey! Shit, did we wake you?" Ed asks. Jack and himself had been drinking for a couple hours by this point. "Shot, sorry, we were a bit too loud."

"I mean... cannons are loud," you mutter, taking a swig of your own drink.

"We were blowing stuff up. I just got laid a visit by my old ship mate, Calico Jack."

"OK... um... Old mate? Well, if he's a friend of yours, hello." Stede greets.

"Who's the big gal?" Jack asks.

"Would you fuckin' stop?" Ed playfully shoves him. They both laugh. "He's joking. He's fuckin' joking. You're not a girl."

You take another swig from your bottle as you watch the exchange.

"Jack, Stede Bonnet. Stede Bonnet, Jack."

"Good to meet you." Stede shakes Jack's hand. "So, er, what are we blowing up?"

Edward goes on to explain they had found and old chest of drawers. Stede comments that it was an old family heirloom, but he shakes it off as if he wanted to blow it up anyway.

He promptly invites Edward to breakfast, where Jack tags along. Stede doesn't look too pleased, but rolls with it.

You decide to take your bottle of rum over to the nearest steps and sit down. Lucius spots you and makes his way over, pulling a face.

"Rough night?"

"Didn't sleep much." You tell him, lowering the rum bottle from your lips. Lucius reaches out and takes it from you. You hadn't drank as much as the other two had, but Lucius wanted to stop you from drinking any more anyway.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"What's left to talk about? I miss him, okay..."

"What's the deal with Jack?" He asks.

"He's Ed's mate."

"Go on," Lucius urges.

"He's a bit of a wild card. Crazy shit will happen while he's here, for the record. He brings out some of the crazy in Blackbeard."

"Okay. Anything else?"

You sigh and look at him. "He was a drunken fling. That what you wanna hear? It happened once, never again."

Lucius grins. "Feels good to get out in the open though, right?"

"I don't know how that information makes amy difference to anything," you say, burrowing your brows in confusion.

"It doesn't, I just wanted to hear you open up. See, you're learning it ways. You're one of us."

You laugh softly.

♡♡♡

Lucius spent a good portion of the morning with you, Pete joining you both at some point. You were enjoying your time with them chatting and sharing stories. Pete shared of his made up stories about his time on Blackbeard's crew. You found amusement in them and Pete seemed proud you liked them.

When Edward and Jack returned to deck, Jack had his whip at the ready. Edward at up some bottles along the railing of the ship.

"What are they doing?" Pete asked, watching the two men.

"Whippies."

Calico Jack was a master of the whip. The crew cheered as he broke each bottle without missing a beat. You can't deny his skill, no matter what you may think of the man.

Stede looks rather horrified.

"Whippies! Whippies! Whippies!" Everyone starts cheering.

Jack whips the cards from Swede's hand.

"The guy's an absolute legend with a whip." Ed laughs.

"How long's he staying, do you think?" Stede asks Ed.

"Ah, fuck, I don't know. I mean, you know, we're keeping it open-ended. You can't put a fuckin' time limit on fun, mate! Jack! Whip my balls!" Ed urges, laughing.

Jack whips his balls.

Of course it fucking hurts.

You sigh, having seen enough. You get up and walk across deck.

"Hey! Where ya going?" You hear Jack call.

♡♡♡

You lay on Izzy's bed and look up at the ceiling. You were glad to see Blackbeard had perked up a bit, but you were also a bit sad to see Stede not looking so comfortable. You knew Jack could be a handful.

However, Jack is not so much on your mind as Izzy is. You find yourself thinking about him a lot these days. His absence is really settling in.

You would give anything to see his face again.

"Come back, Izzy... please..."

The cabin is terribly quiet. It feels lonely. God, you miss that man.

♡♡♡

"There was the time he saved my life."

Ed and Jack were sharing stories with the crew. You were up there doing some chores on the ship as the others had stopped to listen.

"I don't like to bring it up. It's a bit immodest." Jack brushes Ed's words off.

"Come on!" "Tell us!" The crew plead.

"It was actually not too far from here, uh, matter of fact, on old Blind Man's Cove."

"Well, you know what. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be alive today," Edward says.

"I love this dopey bastard right here." Jack laughs. "That's a real pirate! Not like one of these store-bought types."

You glance at Stede when Jack says that.

"Jack, I hate to ask, but... where's your ship and your crew?" Stede asks. "You'd think a real pirate would have those."

"Well, I'm kind of, uh, between things at the moment." Jack replies. "Look, fellas, I know it looks like I'm killin' it, but, uh... I'm really not."

There's a pause of silence.

"My crew mutinued." Jack cries. "Third time it's happened this year."

Edward comforts him. Everyone looks at Stede, disappointed.

"You made him cry." Pete says.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"Well, it was a pretty bitchy question." Lucius frowns.

Ed takes Stede off to the side to talk to him. The crew move in to comfort Jack.

"It's okay, CJ. I'm sure it wasn't personal." Roach tries to comfort him.

"Yeah, well, when they tie an anchor around your leg and throw you overboard, it feels pretty personal."

"We were gonna mutiny on Stede," Pete tells Jack.

"Yeah, probably again someday." Swede adds in.

Jack smiles at them. "Thanks, fellas. Real nice of you to say."

"Calico!" Stede returns. "I was thinking would it cheer you up if we went for s little trip? Perhaps somewhere fun?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Don't make a bother for me."

"Where you wanna go?" Ed asks.

"Well, I haven't been to Blind Man's Cove in years."

"Well, Blind Man's Cove it is." Stede smiles.

♡♡♡

"Yardies! Who's up for yardies?" Jack yells.

You sit on deck, the ship just off the coast of Blind Man's Cove. It's definitely a pretty island, but the cove is quite closed in.

However, the crew have their fun.

Roach attempts a game of yardies, but doesn't clear the deck. He's alive, but man would that have hurt. You felt it yourself as he hit the side of the ship.

Later you all find yourselves on the beach. They attach a knife to a turtle and try to get it to fight a crab. The funniest part about this was watching each of the crew take sides. Turtle or crab.

Stede was standing beside you looking horrified. "This is fun?" He asks softly.

"To some."

"But not to you?"

"Oh no, not to me. Nor you by the looks of it."

Stede sighs softly.

At one point Stede goes off into the trees to pee. You'd all been drinking rum like there was no tomorrow. Jack also disappeared from the beach and you had a speaking suspicion he went after Stede.

You watch Blackbeard. He seems chipper. A lot like his old self before Stede Bonnet. Just how you remembered him. He turns and sees you, smiling.

"Isn't this fun?" He asks.

"Yeah. Fun."

Ed swings his arm around your shoulders and pulls you into his side. "Come on, smile! Just like the old days."

"Sure."

"What is it?" He asks.

"Nothing..."

"Oh... Is this about Izzy?"

You fall quiet.

"He's gone. He made his choice."

"I know. I don't need to be reminded. You can still miss someone, ya know?"

"I know."

Stede returns from beyond the trees and marches down the beach. Ed spots him and follows him. "Where you going? We're about to have a coconut war."

Turns out Stede isn't having much fun. When you hear he was heading back to the ship, you felt like doing the same. Though you knew Lucius would probably come scold you for sulking later.

Jack throws a coconut at Ed. Stede heads back to the dingy. You catch up to him.

"Can I go back with you?"

"Not having fun either?" He asks softly.

"Not really."

Stede smiles and nods. "Come on then, let's go back to the ship."

♡♡♡

When you both get back to the ship, Stede invites you into his cabin for some tea. You decide to take him up on his offer. The ship is quiet with just two of you, but it's kind of nice.

Stede pours you both some tea and some cake he had Roach prepare earlier. You both sit down and enjoy.

"I don't like who Ed is when he's with Jack," Stede says, sipping his tea.

"I know it's very different from what you've seen of him, but he really was like that all the time before."

"Yes, so I've heard." Stede sighs. "Still, the Ed I know was so different."

"Yeah. You... softened him up a bit."

Stede looks at you softly. "Is that bad?"

"Not necessarily. Just different. I don't hate it." You take a bite of your cake. "I've been getting a bit used to being on this ship."

Stede smiles. "You're welcome to stay as long as you like."

"Thank you."

While the crew pass time on the beach, you and Stede hang out. He takes you through some of his books, tells you where some of his furniture is from, and you tell him a few stories of your own sailing days.

"You talk about Izzy a lot," he points out.

"Do I?"

"Yes. You sound quite close."

"I thought we were. Turns out I was wrong."

"How so?" Stede furrows his brow at you. The pout of his lips in confusion was, dare you say, somewhat adorable?

"He left. Didn't hesitate. I must be pretty easy to leave."

"Why didn't you go with him?"

"He did ask me to, but... I don't know."

Stede reaches out and gives your hand a friendly pat. "Well, I for one am glad you stayed."

♡♡♡

As night draws in, Stede retires to bed. You decide to do the same, curling up in Izzy's old cabin again. You still refer to it as his even though he's not here any more.

The crew had returned and they had clearly being drinking none stop. The sound of smashing is keeping you awake.

You decide to at least see what's going on. When you get up to deck, Buttons is yelling at them for being so loud. He was trying to moonbathe.

"Sorry, Buttons. Maybe he's right, guys. Should we pack it in?" Ed said, clearly drunk. "It's been a day."

The crew begin to agree, and you're about ready to help some of them get to bed, but Jack refuses and grabs his whip.

"King Coconut says, we go," he whips a sack nearby, "another," he whips the deck, " round!"

Lastly he whips wildly and everyone gasps in horror as Jack whips Buttons' seagull, Karl. You stare wide eyed as Buttons picks up his little bird friend.

"He's deid." Button says, his accent heavy. "You... killed him."

Buttons hands Karl over to Roach and starts talking in tongues. "I hex upon ye, I hex upon ye, I hex upon yeee...!"

You watch in mild confusion and fascination.

"Well, thay was some weird shit."

You walk over to Jack. "You should go."

"Oh, come on. It was an accident." He grins.

"Get off my ship!" Stede calls from behind you. You move away and let him come closer. "Like they said, you should go."

"Fine. I don't give a shit. Party sucked anyway. I'm out. Who's with me?" Jack asks. He looks at you, but you remain standing beside Stede. "Oh, come on. You don't wanna stick around with this fop, do ya?"

No one moves.

Jack turns to Ed. "Blackie? I saved your life man."

"Yeah."

Stede's expression falls. "Wait. You're leaving? With him?"

You frown. First Izzy, now Blackbeard?

"This is who I am, Stede." Ed speaks quietly. He glances at you, but you don't move. "You were always gonna realise what I am."

Edward walks over to the side of the ship and then looks back over his shoulder. "Take care, mate."

You take a deep breath before walking off.

♡♡♡

Lucius was on his way to go see Stede, but decided it best to stop off by your room first. As expected you were curled up on the bed. He doesn't have to say anything for you to know he was there.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" He asks.

"With pity."

Lucius steps into the room. "I wasn't. I did want to make sure you were okay though. First Izzy, now Blackbeard."

You look at him unimpressed.

"I'm gonna go check on the captain. You coming?"

You sigh softly and get up. "Yeah."

Turns out Stede was worse off than you. He was sat by the window with his telescope, watching Ed on the beach. Oluwande had spent the night in here, so he hadn't slept all that well either.

"Has this been going on all night?" Lucius asks.

"All night. No breaks."

Lucius goes over to his captain to try and talk to him. You sigh and watch from beside where Olu is seated.

"Morning, Captain. Do you mind putting the scope down for a sec?"

Stede doesn't budge.

"Okay, I will just take this..."

"No..."

"One, two..."

"No!"

"...three."

Lucius takes the scope from Stede. He hands it over to you and you tuck it away somewhere safe.

"Long night?" Lucius asks.

"I don't know," Stede replies softly.

"OK. And do we think this more of a spat or a rupture with Blackbeard?"

Stede rests his head back with a think against the window panel behind him. "I think it's done."

Lucius sighs.

"Well, lucky for you... I'm fantastic at break-ups. I helped them with Izzy, so I can help you too."

"Izzy and I didn't break up," you say.

"Yes you did."

"We weren't together to begin with."

"Eh," Lucius shrugs. He walks past you swiftly and Stede returns to sulking.

♡♡♡

"I just wanted to let you all know, we'll be holding a buriel at sea for Karl." Stede talks to his crew.

Buttons sobs in the background.

"Understandably, Buttons is..." Buttons cries again. "...rather audibly upset. And on a related note, Blackbeard will no longer be sailing with us."

You sigh and look down at the deck. Maybe this was payback for leaving them 6 years ago. They've all left you.

"It's a big one, I know. It was a mutual decision, which I initiated first."

"So this mean we're back to being captained by just... you?" Pete asks.

"Look, technically, you've always been captained by me, and only me, so there's no change there." Stede replies to him.

"Right, but what if some of us saw ourselves more as Blackbeard's employee?"

You roll your eyes.

"I can still stay right?" You ask, turning to him.

"Course. I'd be sad to see you leave too..."

You give Stede a comforting smile and pat his later lightly.

"Look, these things happen. Sometimes captains drift apart. I know its tough, but chin up. OK? Neither of us will like you less or more than we did before."

"Bad news, Stede." You say, looking out to see.

"It is. It's terrible news," Stede replies, sighing.

"Not that. That!" You point out to sea.

An English Navy fleet have arrived. Three big ships trapping the Revenge into the cove.

"That's a lot of ship."

"Yeah, and we're trapped," you tell him.

A cannon is fired and it hits the unicorn as the front of the ship, completely beheading it.

"Warning shot," you tell Stede. "The next one's into the hull."

"Right, we should probably fire back at them, um... Prepare the cannons!"

"Wait!"

You all turn around to see Ed climbing back onboard.

"Hoist the white flag!"

"Ed!" Stede smiles. You smile too. He came back.

"Better alive than dead."

You and Ed nod at each other.

♡♡♡

Izzy watches the Revenge from the English Navy ship. He's gripping the ring around his neck as he keeps his eyes on the other ship.

"I'm here," he whispers.

The white flag is raised on the Revenge and Izzy holds his head up higher. He gets into one of the boats with the English and they row toward the Revenge, toward you.

Izzy was coming back.

♡♡♡

@grippleback-galaxy - @askmarinaandothers - @godlikegallagher - @for-fuck-sake-im-alive - @whiskeyswriting - @lxsm2 - @bloody-bunni666 - @the-chocoholic-writer - @bugbugboy - @callmemana -

[carb0n-m0n0xid3]

The Forest's Safekeeping

Hey yall, I wrote a story :3

dunno if ive posted it here before cuz of my stupid autistic goldfish memory, but here it is

I ALSO DONT LIKE THE NAME PLEASE GIVE IDEAS PLEASE PLEAES

anywho, here ya go! ejniy :3

It was an ordinary day for the centaur, locked up in his cell with thick, cold chains rubbing his skin raw. He had grown used to such troubles though, as he had others far worse to deal with in this harsh facility. He had long forgotten his old life, practically raised by these cruel conditions since being abducted nearly two decades ago.

“Subject 70424!” called Dr. Shridener, a scientist, hitting his cell door with her clipboard to wake him. She had done so successfully, watching his fright with an annoyed expression.

He awoke startled, stretching up from the old dirty mat he had called a bed, dusting off his medical robe. He had wished so dearly to wake with the rising sun rather than by someone inhumane screaming orders at him. But as of now that was just a silly dream, perhaps once a distant, fading memory.

“Yes, ma’am” he anxiously muttered, hesitantly approaching the cell’s door. He held his lanky arms out to her through the bars, guessing she'd want to see the progress of his healing skin grafts.

“Ahh” Dr. Shridener said with some hope, snatching the centaur’s arm in a tightening grip, causing a few light winces to escape him. She hummed whilst observing the old scarring, though her smile faded with disappointment. It was unfortunate for her to see the start of an infection along the site of the grafted skin that his own had rejected.

“Another failure, I see..” she hissed, releasing his arm from her grasp. The centaur retreated back with a flinch, watching her scribble some notes on her clipboard. He sighed, knowing this meant more tests and procedures. Why were they even doing this, seeing what skins are compatible with his own? He had no clue, but surely he would find out in the future.. right?

He was then transported by Dr. Shridener towards the medical bay, though already knew the way by heart from the amount of times he had gone. Down the hall and take a right, down that long hall… then past the dreaded “extermination chambers”. He never dared to think of what was done there, fearing for his life each time he was near that section of the facility. It was occasional to hear the wails of innocent creatures from within, though he tried to ignore such terrorizing sounds of annihilation.

Once in the bay, the centaur was guided to a room, knowing what would happen within. Eventually another scientist came in to conduct the procedures on him, one whose name tag read “Dr. Favela”. 

He entered without a greeting, a rather stern, plain look on his face. He adjusted his gloves and brought out a kit, one all too familiar to the centaur. From within the kit, he drew out some appliances, preparing anesthesia to momentarily sedate him. The poor creature had grimaced, still uneasy at the sight of needles despite how often he had seen them.

He inhaled sharply as the needle penetrated him, slowly numbing his frail skin with its liquids within. His eyes began to grow heavy, faltering and shutting once succumbing to the substance.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

A few weeks had passed since the operation, the centaur’s arm currently bandaged with gauze, cleaned daily with painful antibiotics. He could barely sleep with the agony, though whenever he managed to, it never completely satisfied his fatigued state. He dreamt daily of the wilderness, clips and blurs of his past memories blended together. He was tired of these same cold gray walls, the thick bars containing him, and heavy chains that prohibited freedom, or even slight movement.

“Subject 70424!” yelled Dr. Shridener, once again slamming her clipboard on the cell door. The centaur awoke with a shudder, already forgetting the sweet serenity of his fantastical dreams. He approached, the chains clanking along the floor as he trotted a short distance to her, rolling up the grimy sleeves of his robe to reveal his bandaged arm. She unwrapped the gauze with one gloved hand, the other holding his arm tightly. 

He watched her with a growing sense of anxiety, as Dr. Shridener was never one to smile, even less one as wide as this. He glanced down to his arm, seeing the patch of grafted skin beginning to heal with his own. It.. worked? After all this time, it finally worked?

“Dr. Favela will be thrilled when he sees this..” she said, releasing his arm and grabbing her clipboard to write down the information, unable to wipe the grin from her face. 

The centaur sighed shakily, not really knowing how to feel about this. The graft worked, but now what? What were they going to do with this? With him? As of now he was just led back towards the medical bay, taking the mundane route towards the room. He followed Dr. Shridener down the hall and to the right, watching her strides. He was led forward and past the extermination chambers, feeling that same uneasy feeling in his gut.

She was the first to enter the room, glancing around with the same smile.

“Dr. Favela~ Oh doc-”

“I am busy.” he snapped, turning in his chair from his computer. His expression was the  same as always, dull and tiresome. After glancing between the two he sighed and rolled his eyes, turning back to his computer.

“The grafts worked” Dr. Shridener said, pulling the centaur in and revealing his arm to the scientist.

At this Dr. Favela finally perked up, leaving his chair to observe the arm. The centaur couldn't understand what the whole deal was with his skin grafts. Sure, it was different and interesting, but why did they need this information? What would they do to him? Being lost in thought he missed their conversation, but knew he was going to go somewhere different. 

This time he was led through the facility by Dr. Favela, following the man closely. The path taken had trailed throughout the building, finally ending at two towering doors. The centaur shuddered at the sight, entering the cold room. There were several machines, ones he did not recognize, and have never seen before. 

“Come” said Dr. Favela, motioning for him to approach one of the benumbed machines.

“They are just larger, modified CAT scans and X-rays” he said in a monotone voice, seemingly annoyed at the centaur’s fear.

“But I suppose you know nothing about machines, due to your lack of knowledge.”

The centaur approached with dreadful submission, shaking with fear at what might go wrong. The scientist was right, he didn't know what these machines were, or what they even did. But he listened to the instructions, finding out that getting these “scans” as Dr. Favela says, was a pretty easy, harmless task.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

After nearly two months of scans and blood work, the centaur was finally deemed “ready” for a plan.. one he still wasn't informed of. All he knew was that it was a surgical procedure, but that only terrified him further.

“Oh Subject 70242” Dr. Shridener called, this time waking him without the whacking of her clipboard on the cell door. It was abnormal for the centaur to see her in such a positive state, but he stood and approached still, heart racing in a fretful manner. 

She had gathered him and led him to another new area, going straight down the hall from his cell. The walls seemed to fade from a bland gray to a soft blue, bringing a sense of serenity to the centaur, though he was still troubled at this uncertainty.

They had finally approached a pre-op room, about four other staff within the area. Dr. Shridener gave orders to the nurses before leaving, the four now glancing over to the centaur. They began to approach, some holding needles and others disinfectants. He failed to back away, bumping into the wall while nervously clutching his medical robe’s sleeves.

“What's going on?” the centaur finally sputtered, feeling an uneasiness deep within himself.

“SPOS? Surgical Process of Separation? Did they not tell you?” One nurse said, rolling her eyes as she paused. Another had begun to approach the centaur, raising the needle in his hand closer to the shaking creature.

They were going to separate his.. what? He could barely think straight when informed of this operation. How would he be after? They are posing a major risk to his life, just to see what might happen? Just to make him “normal”? He froze in his spot, clutching his chest as the four came closer. This was it. His life could all end here if he did nothing. Was there anything he could even do? 

The centaur glanced about the room, searching his surroundings for anything useful. He had seen a medkit on the counter beside him, throwing it at the nurses as a quick distraction before bolting out of the room. His hoofbeats echoed throughout the halls, nearly matching with the speed of his racing heart. He could only try to focus on escaping, fleeing from this inhumane facility as horrid questions flooded his head. Why would anyone propose such an idea? Is that why they needed the scans? The successful grafts? What if he gets captured? Would they return him for the surgery, or worse, extermination?

Alarms began to blare throughout the building, red lights flashing as a voice came upon the speakers:

“SUBJECT 70242 ATTEMPTING AN ESCAPE, HEADING TOWARDS SOUTH-EAST LOBBY.”

The centaur could already hear the sounds of security approaching, their footsteps growing louder as he rounded the corner, seeing the emergency exit just ahead. Closer and closer he got, heart pumping at speeds he never knew were safe, spreading fear and terror throughout his frail body.

“STOP RIGHT THERE” He heard guards yell, running towards with guns aimed at him. But he continued on, disregarding their threats. His breath grew quick as he raced down the hall, finally bursting through the emergency door with gunshots echoing behind him, some just skimming the hems of his robe.

The night's cool air refreshed the centaur for a brief moment, something he hadn't felt in forever. He threw off the robe while darting throughout the lot, seeing a dense forest just ahead. His throat burned and his lungs ached, but he persisted, hearing the shouts of others fade behind him. The thoughts of being captured continued to fill his mind, fueling his terrorizing dread and perseverance to keep on racing through the forest.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

After hours and hours of treading, the centaur finally slowed, his body giving out from fleeing such a great distance. He grew exhausted and lied to the forest floor, joyfully weeping at his deliverance. Grasping the wet grass with tight fists he laughed, feeling as if in one of those dreams he had whilst in captivity. It all felt so unreal, the newness of the woods overwhelming him with glee and tranquility.

He took a shaking breath, watching the sun slowly rise with its glory. A widening smile began to grow on the centaur’s face, the first genuine smile he had experienced in a very long time.

[moviesludge]

some things from the last couple of days:

the Halloween pumpkins lasted longer than expected but were finally trashed today. I bought a battery powered flasher to try out and it was dimmer than I expected but has three modes and they all look pretty cool. 1 is a yellow candle flicker, 2 is a strobe, and 3 is a rainbow color roll. We always mean to get some votive candles but were stuck with tealights this year that we had to replace often. But I did get a bleeding skull candle both this year and last year that lasted a really long time. So I put the older one in my big pumpkin and it still hasn't burned all the way out

though my mom doesn't often watch tv with my dad and I, I convinced her to check out LOST with us (first time checking out the show beyond its original run. She was cold and I got her an extra blanket and also gave her my old hot topic pacman beanie that I bought a million years ago. LOST somehow feels like a good show to be watching right now. She went to give my beanie back and I told her she can keep it. I also pointed out the little tag on the side that says EAT ME. She laughed.

in general this extremely depressing and unpleasant turn of events is making me want to be better for myself and for others, in all kinds of different ways. I stayed in bed for a while but I watered the plants and did the dishes.

I bought a portable hard drive that was on sale for a great price on the 5th and it showed up on the 6th. I also noticed it went back to its regular price the next day.

I lost 3 more pounds and hit 250!

Cut ties with 2 old work acquaintances I long suspected of having shitty politics. Found out for sure recently.

the night after the election result I had an extremely unsettling dream. In the context of the dream my grandmother (who passed away in 2016) was still alive. I went to her house and it was empty. She was gone. There were basic furnishings but it felt very large and very empty. I got a really terrible feeling that something happened to her. That she had left the house for some unknown reason and left important things behind, making it seem alarming. I searched for her but couldn't find her. And then while sitting in the house, a man came to the door. <Incidentally it was a guy I used to work with around 2001. He was the type of coworker who was a kind of funny casual acquaintance who was always cracking the same stupid joke over and over again. Towards the end of the time I knew that guy, he asked me (after I quit that job) if I wanted to go with him out to some rural type of place to work on some weird job he had information about. The way he described it sounded very sketchy and I avoided him after that.> So he comes to the door and is knocking but I don't want to know what he wants. I don't want him to know I'm there. I don't want him to come into the house.

[spiralinghours]

“Fading Out” (continuation/installment of “Filth”)

Fandom/media: Saw franchise

Rating: R/18+

Pairing: Mark Hoffman x Peter Strahm

Tags/content/warnings: humiliation/degradation, teasing, name-calling, feeding kink, weight gain… a lot of the same from the previous fic

Summary: A canon-divergent continuation where Strahm is alive and well (and didn’t get put in the cube), but does know Hoffman’s identity. Hoffman, meanwhile, is done with the Jigsaw business, too confused by whatever he has going on with Strahm. Low key teasing continues to happen during work hours, which culminates in Mark experimenting on his own at home.

Author’s note: I was gonna add more to this, but it felt long enough and I got impatient haha. I’m not great at long form/chapters because I get bored by the idea, so there’s no set length, but just know this installment is a filler before I churn out the next part.

Enjoy. Or don’t. Make your choice.

So things hadn’t gone as planned, but they seemed to work out. For the time being.

Strahm had strolled—intently stamped, more like—his way out of the meat plant on the night of those simultaneous games, looking the victor, as he gave the exact story he promised he would (blah blah, came in alone, everyone dead but Hoffman, helped him out of the trap, blah blah blah) and reported that Jigsaw, finally, was dead. That was that.

Jigsaw was dead, in more ways than one. Mark had anticipated carrying out the last couple games as John’s dying wish, taking out anyone who put even a slightly inconvenient kink in the grand scheme of it all. But, the blunt truth was John was gone. Amanda was gone. Jill, while probably wanting to respect John’s will, did not have the heart to play murder games. (And this Logan fella… he was never coming back. He had a whole life. Who cared?) Mark didn’t want to associate with anyone left alive in John’s legacy—his fucked up family.

And with Peter knowing the whole smoking truth of it all with some sick fixation and the potential for blackmail, there was no point for Mark to dig his hole deeper. He would tie up the loose ends and move on.

On a formal, procedural, surface level, tying loose ends also entailed wrapping things up with the feds. It was a whole parade of paperwork, exchanging identical manila folders, making the same public statements to major media outlets, and staying caffeinated into the ungodly hours of the morning to make sure all the stories on record were solid.

It meant Peter was still around, digging through the inner sanctum of the precinct like a mite. He was always lurking, and actually focused on his job, to be sure. But at moments when Mark thought he’d look up and make eye contact, or see him walk through his office door, there was nothing.

It was jarring, in fact, how removed Strahm seemed, given the immense tension and lingering promise of their last interaction. Perhaps it was best left that way. But if anything, despite all else—the wet dreams and fleeting, empty want—Hoffman felt the need to confirm some kind of arrangement given what Strahm knew of his identity.

Yeah, that was all it was. Just business, in that sense.

In a completely random occurrence, in the middle of one of the many days hazing into the next, Mark spotted Peter, alone in what was his and Lindsey’s makeshift office watching something on the old TV. It was the tape from when Mark originally interrogated Jill from however long ago—the one Rigg wracked his brain on, watching it on repeat.

Mark could only assume Peter was looping it for completely different reasons, but he let his crass curiosity get the better of him.

“Hard at work?” Mark sort of muttered as he entered the space, cringing at how stupid and generic it came out.

“Yeah,” Peter replied, not even turning to look. It was as bland an answer as if he’d been offered a cup of coffee.

“My tape with Jill have something we missed?” Mark probed on, tilting his head at how Peter rewound the part where he passed in front of the camera, backside in full view. (‘Jesus, I look like that back there?’)

“Just enjoying the view,” Peter replied, tone unchanged.

What a stone cold prick.

He made an obvious point of pausing the spot where Mark had twisted his torso just enough as he leaned over the table, showing at just the right angle the way his belly hung over his belt, past his generous chest. The blue hue of the tape made even his fuzzy visage look very shapely.

“You’re a sick fuck.” Mark was going for a threatening, undercutting slant to his words, but it fell short into something on edge.

“I’m not doing anything sick, stupid,” Peter finally turned around, looking annoyed for barely any reason.

“Enjoying the view? Yeah?” Mark mocked. “You’re a creep, lookin’ at me like that.”

“Who said I was looking at you? Ms. Tuck is pretty gorgeous.”

Mark was well aware that one of the many skills he possessed was passively getting on people’s nerves until he got something out of the situation. But Peter had out-obnoxioused him somehow. Mark shook his head, lips fixing into a dumb pucker, and started to turn away.

“You look fucking fat in this tape.” Peter’s cold voice trailed behind Mark, smacking him and reeling him back in.

“Excuse me? Fuck you.”

Strahm stood up abruptly and got into Hoffman’s face, his eyes drifting momentarily to the open door to make sure Lindsey or Erickson or even some subordinate didn’t pass by. “Why are you taking that as an insult? Looks good on you, big boy. Say ‘thank you’ when you’re complimented.” A rare, menacing smile cracked across his face. “I like having something to hold onto.” He swatted at Mark’s lower belly, just out there, pushing prominently over his belt buckle and badge.

The TV clicked off and Strahm exited the room without another word. He was frequent with sudden, callous departures like that. It left Hoffman standing there, gears visibly turning behind his eyes and a hand reflexively cupping his stomach where he was just touched.

What the fuck?

—

For the most part, Mark had little awareness of his own body and his overall perception. Outside of his hair and his face, he didn’t pay mind to much. He was just there, just a guy. And, over time, he cared less, living a lifestyle where there was so much stimulation, too much to focus on, too much worry, death and dying at every corner…

He never stopped and realized that people looked at him and just saw a “big guy”, let alone found it attractive. That was the part that alluded him. Like the general public, he assumed the stereotypical thing people wanted to rub their hands over were rock-hard abs and sharp jawlines or whatever. All that to say, Mark felt like Strahm was ogling him for the weirdest reasons.

Late into the night, hours after the little tiff about the tape, Mark was still mulling over what had been said. He knew he was thinking too much on it, but that type of interaction was just too specific and new.

He breathed a bored, unfocused sigh and traced around his house, debating on if he was hungry or just frazzled enough to go to sleep. But a weird impulse seeped into his mind as he leaned towards the former.

In a bit of an autopilot state, lightheaded with a tingle up his back, Mark trudged from one side of the kitchen to the next, alternating between grabbing items from the fridge and the two cabinets. Each “dish” (if the senseless piles could even be called that) merited another garnish or more to add to the taste profile. The remaining four slices of pizza needed more protein, so the egg and sausage leftover from the morning were topped on. But then it needed a dipping sauce, so he had to throw a little ranch in there. But all that became too salty-savory, so Mark made a side salad (which ended up being a mixing bowl’s worth) stacked with croutons, cheese shreds, and chips (because they were spicy, and the whole deal could use a little spice). But then after that, a little sweetness made sense to cut through all the cheese, meat, and sauce, so ice cream came next. But it was too frostbitten to dig a spoon in, so he microwaved the pint… maybe a bit too long, as it ended up mostly melted. But hey, that was just a milkshake, right? So into a glass it went, with some extra milk to thin it out.

He was incredibly hungry, sure—more than he realized—but there was a ping, some kind of creeping inspirational spark that kept him going. There was the idea of Strahm watching him eat this way, maybe even pushing him through it with nasty little remarks the whole time. The condescending “Oink oink” Peter demanded of him from that night in the plant echoed in his head, like an obsession, over and over, unfurling a blackout sort of feeling.

It was over as quickly as it started, leaving Mark in a haze, a little confused at what he just put himself through. He didn’t come—didn’t touch himself or get off or even get super hard—but it felt like he was experiencing “post nut clarity” all the same. There was a hint of shame to it, as Mark recognized how secret and foul gorging himself felt, and how it would be a struggle to hide the results if it kept happening, shifting around slowly with a likely angry and wobbling gut fighting against his pants button.

Peter would be around, and he would see. Would he? Hoffman was curious to know what he would say, how his sharp, dour expression would shift. What catty comments would Peter let burrow into Mark’s dumb, eager brain?

As itch-inducing as the mental image was, Mark’s energy would be reserved for that at a later time. Down for the night, he had slumped into the corner of his small burgundy couch, hyper aware of the way his white undershirt stretched and smoothed out across the expanse of his belly, creasing only at his sides, above his love handles. Every breath was a chore, the shallowest inhales and exhales making him slosh, which eventually set off a chain of hiccups that made his gut bounce uncomfortably.

Letting a hand creep under the tight fabric, Mark ended the night absentmindedly scratching the side if his stomach while some previously-aired episodes of The Girls Next Door droned on his meager TV.

“Guess I’m a pervert too,” Mark mumbled to no one in particular.

[stargazing15]

Oh how I was wrong

Bob x Fem! reader

Summary: Bob is finally noticing the consequences of his actions

Warnings: angst

A/N: this is mostly Bob's POV

Previously: Letting go - Next: Hello again

It's been a month since Bob had broken your heart. It's been three weeks since he had last seen you. And it's been four days since he'd been starting doubting everything he did, mostly her. He's starting to think he made the worst decision made in the last decade.

It all started about ten days ago. She made him tag along with her annoying friends. They were the fakest of the fakest, she was the only 'normal' looking one of them, and that was probably what made him interested in her in the first place. He never really got along with her friends as they liked to brag about things, mostly wealth or sleeping with rich boys, having nasty comments about everything and everyone. In the beginning she wasn't like them when they were together, but she changed, or rather let her real personality come out. It stared by having comments about his commitment to his job, but eventually also talking badly about others, including his friends, and commanding to only do things she wanted but he absolutely hates to do. This all made his mind started to wonder what you were doing, how you were doing, how things would be if he had ignored her. He was able to forget about the thought the next couple of days as he had some intense trainings at base.

But then he came home, he got snapped back to reality, it felt like he woke up from a month long dream. They started to fight, again, about the same things that made him break it off. Why did he forget about that side of her? How could he forget there were more bad days when they were together than good days?

After you had ran ran away from the Hard Deck that night, Phoenix and Fanboy had tried to talk to him to figure out why on earth he would do something that stupid, but Bob ditched them quickly going home with her. The next time they saw him the whole group lectured him on his stupid decision, trying to get him to his senses. But Bob countered Phoenix by reminding her she once told him to do whatever made him happy. He only never expected Phoenix to be this mad as she made him clear to never address her as Nat again. He had officially made it to her bad side.

A week later when you showed up to the Hard Deck, he was shocked. First by you throwing his stuff on the ground in front of him but mostly by how you were looking. He almost didn't recognize you hiding behind those sunglasses, but he did see how pale you were, how miserable you were, how you had lost weight. This was the first time guilt started to sink in. And when you left, your last words started to haunt him because he didn't want you to hate him. But he couldn't turn back time, it was to late for that.

"Nat," Bob received a death glare from Phoenix, "Phoenix, wait, can, can we talk please?" Bob asked her with a quiet voice. "Please?" He sounded so desperate.

"Bob, okay, but keep in mind I'm still mad as hell. You took away my friend, she was not only your friend and I really liked her. She doesn't answer my calls anymore, that's how badly you've hurt her!" Phoenix was almost yelling at Bob.

"I know. I was so stupid." He whispered, on the verge of tears. He was still together with that bitch, as Phoenix called her, officially, but they had a big fight, again. This time she dragged your name through the mud, even Phoenix suddenly became a bad person to her. He really thought they could be happy again. He should have thought before he acted, because he really was happy with you, if he's thinking back, he's realizing he has never ben happier before with anyone else. But he had ruined it.

"I messed up, I don't know what to do." Tears were rolling down his face.

"YOU don't know what to do? What about Y/N huh? Have you ever thought about her while you ran off with miss I-am-better-then-everyone? Have you any idea that you acted just like her ex, I really thought you were better than that Bob. Have you got any idea how badly he hurt her? And you just proved her he was right! So get your shit together."

"I, I, what, she, she never really told me about him. How bad was it? Please, I need to know."

"Maybe you should know and I hope you feel guilty." She scoffed, "that asshole made her feel so extremely worthless, that she had been convinced no one would ever want her. He treated her like an object and you just proved her she wasn't enough once again. Asshole."

"Oh my god, what have I done? No, no, no, she can't think that, I did wrong." Panic started to kick in. He needed to do something, he wasn't this kind of bad person, he needed to make sure you know that he was at fault and that you were not worthless, not one bit. But how could he ever patch up the wounds he caused?

"I need to do something first." And with that Bob stormed off leaving Phoenix gaping at him.

"Uh, okay."

"It's done, over, I'm done with you!" Bob informed his now ex.

"Oh Robert, you can never leave me. You're mine, I'm the only one you can love."

"Nope you're not, here is your stuff, never come near me again. Here, your number, blocked and deleted. I'm done with you trying to walk over me. Goodbye! Go burn in hell!"

It felt good, this was his new start. He only should have done it like this before he met you. His timeline is seriously messed up. But how can he turn back time and do things in the right order? He needs to, he needs you with him. But how? How can he apologize?

Now he has peace in his head with the past, he has time to think. Time to think about you, what you are doing now, have you been eating, have been taking care of yourself? And then the wonderful memories came back. How perfect you were together, how your smile could lit up anything, how your body would perfectly fit into his when cuddling, how beautifully his name came rolling over your lips when you made love. He misses you, badly.

After thinking thousand of scenarios what he can do, he finds himself in front of your door.

He carefully knocked on your door. He was surprised when you opened the the door.

"I don't want to see you. Leave." And you shut the door immediately.

"Y/N, wait don't go, you don't have to open the door, just listen. Please?" Bob's voice sounded weaker than he thought.

"Beautiful angel, I am not going to make excuses for what I have done. Because there are no. I am just so extremely stupid and I still don't know what I was thinking to throw away the best thing that has ever happened to me. I want to, have to apologize for what I have done and caused, you didn't deserve that because you are a wonderful person and I recently found out about your previous relationship and that actually shouldn't matter because what I have done is the worst. But I need you to know that it was not because of you, I was living on this stupid ugly cloud when I saw her and it blinded me for what actually mattered and that is you. And I'm sorry for not fighting. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I wish I could turn back time, I'm so mad at myself. I know it is selfish to say this, but I miss you, a lot. I wish I could make it up to you, I know it is impossible after what I have done to you, I just wish I could. I needed you to know that."

You heard it all and just like Bob, tears were streaming down your face.

"I wished I could turn back time too." You whispered to the door, inaudible for Bob.

Taglist: @mrsjaderogers @bradleybeachbabe @iamdannyday @mavrellover91 @luckyladycreator2 @rhirhikingston

Tagform

[sgt-scottymoreau]

Glasgow Meeting - COT

Summary: It wasn't supposed to be out in the world that they were dating. Well not yet, they weren't ready, but a small slip up changed everything. Well at least Ghost and Scotty get to meet Soap's family.

Warning: None

Words: 2.8k // AO3 // Masterlist

A/N: Finally posting more! Also if you squint you see the veeeerrryyy early beginning of Ghoap. Time to set myself out, enjoy! This is my headcanon of Soap's family, inspired by some ideas here and there from the fandom. Don't @ me ;w;

It was not really planned. A trip to the surrounding area of Glasgow to visit his family was partially planned, yes. Soap had tried to get some days off to do so, but wasn't sure when. What was not planned was to tell his family he had a girlfriend. Especially not one who was sharing with his best friend! 

Soap was on the phone with his brother, video call to be precise, talking about his possible visit. Ghost and Scotty were busy in the kitchen preparing tonight's meal. They weren't aware of his call, which would explain the slip up. Scotty went to the living room to tell him to come set up the table. "Hey handsome, come help with dinner."

"Handsome?" A voice came out from his phone. Soap and Scotty looked at each other in fear. The realization. "John… Who's that? What are you hiding?" By the end, his brother was teasing him. 

"No one! Fi-" It was too late. Soap didn't have the time to tell him to keep down, his brother was already spreading the news like wildfire. The Scotsman sank deep into the couch. From afar, Scotty mouthed some apologies. In a matter of seconds, the whole family was trying to ask him a question at the same time. Ghost silently approached behind Scotty, alerted by the noisy conversation. He questioned her.

"I think I screwed up." She whispered back. "That's his family on the phone, and I called him handsome out loud."

Ghost patted her shoulder. "Well that's gonna be interesting."

"You know he's most likely not gonna tell them about you, right?" Ghost simply shrugged off the comment. At least, Soap was capable of evading the interrogation by pretending that he should really help with chores and he couldn't introduce her. This would be left for the day he will come to visit. In two weeks. Which was plenty of time to figure out a reason on why Ghost would be tagging along. He could have stayed behind, but he was honestly curious to see the origin of Soap. And maybe also to see how everything will unfold in person. 

The reason as stupid as it would sound like was that he made a bet with his lieutenant and now he was there. After the long drive to the surrounding area of Glasgow, it was time to stretch and meet the family. Soap's family took him to the words, but they didn't seem very convinced by his excuse. The mask was not helping his case. However, that didn't stop them from giving Scotty a warm welcome. She did not feel completely uncomfortable, she was simply not used to this. Ghost having no relatives, she had never really experienced that. Last time she had been introduced to in-laws was years ago. Scotty now understood how Ghost felt when he met her family. 

Soap's family lived on the outskirts of the capital. Far enough to be able to have a small farm, but close enough to not have to drive hours to get to some civilization. They owned a few goats. Scotty and Ghost smiled at each other when they realized that this was the last thing they expected from Soap's backstory. Farm boy turning military. 

Soap was also the middle child out of three. Mackenzie being the eldest sister and Finn the youngest brother. Mackenzie took a liking to Scotty very quickly, saying that finally she could have the little sister she always dreamed of. She kept a hold of her for a while leaving the boys together. "Being overly open runs in the family." Ghost noted to Soap.

"Aye! We like to make everyone feel at home. Big contrast to you, sir." 

"Watch it, sergeant." 

The next few days went without a hitch. After the slightly awkward introduction, everyone warmed up to each other. Scotty and Ghost got to learn how to take care of goats, played with the young ones and helped around the farm. It might not look like it but it was physical. Even with their military training, after three days they were drained. All in all, it was a good time. Soap was glad that his lieutenant also enjoyed himself as he might feel like a third wheel. The three of them had kept the secret to a maximum. None of the MacTavish family suspected a thing. However, Soap noticed that Ghost and Scotty were itching for some time together. While the others did not catch on, yet, he saw that sometimes Scotty would stand a little closer to him, fingers softly brushing against each other. It was a risky move but they always made it work.

One night, at the table while enjoying their dinner, Soap's mother asked The one question. "So Johnny, when are you planning to have kids?"

Taken by surprise, Soap spat his drink while Scotty almost choked on a piece of meat. Ghost kept it cooler than the others. Barely moving an inch. "Ma, you can't ask this like that!" Soap nervously laughed, cleaning the mess he made. "We started dating not long ago. That is not really in the plans."

"I don't think it will ever be." Scotty said in what she thought was a whisper. But when she saw all eyes on her, even Soap questioning look, she realized it had been a little louder. Also realizing that really only Ghost knew about it. She swore she told Soap at some point, but maybe she imagined it. 

"What do you mean?" Mackenzie asked. 

"Hmm… Well, to keep it simple, I can't have kids." Scotty shrugged it off. 

"Oh I'm sorry hen!" The mother apologized. 

"It's alright. You didn't know, and it's not like it affects me. With my job, maybe it is better that way. If we…" The we resonated a little bigger than just Soap and her. "Ever want kids, adoption is still an option, right Johnny?"

He nodded. After that the meal went back to normal, brushing off the serious sad undertone of it back to where it belonged. They all helped clean up and after some down time, everyone went to bed. 

Once Scotty was sure that everyone was asleep, she sneaked away from Soap's room. He knew why and simply told her to be careful, to be back before morning. Ghost was sleeping on a couch bed in a small room on the ground floor. Tiptoes, she carefully made her way down, praying every step to keep it quiet. Coast was clear, she tiptoed still to the room; years of practice. Scotty knocked softly on the door. On the other side the bed creaked, a lock turned and Ghost cracked the door open. Once he saw it was her, he let her in. He had barely closed the door, she was already kissing him. "I missed you."

"Johnny, don't give you enough?" He chuckled. His arm wrapped around her waist. He lifted her off the ground to bring her to the bed. 

"No he does." She smiled back. "He gives me all I want, but I feel like it's been ages since we had alone time together."

"Don't get any idea, love. We can't be too noisy." Ghost peaked a kiss on her collarbone, pressing softer ones along her neck to her cheek to finish with a deep kiss on the lips. So much for saying such, when he was the one who craved her as bad as she did. They stayed in each other's arms for a moment, appreciating the tenderness going on. Her fingers brushed his dirty blond hair while they talked. Or whispered. She wished she could just allow herself to relax more in his embrace, to the point that she closed her eyes to rest on him while he would be stroking her back to sleep. But that was out of the question, because if Scotty fell asleep now there was no way she would be awake before next morning and explain to the family why she was sleeping with the lieutenant.

Reluctantly, Scotty kissed Ghost one more time before making her way back to Soap's room. Her heart was pounding fast at the idea she might be caught. Luckily, no one dared to come out of their room. She made it back to bed with Soap, sliding under the blanket. Soap was still awake. He shifted on his side to face her, one arm getting a hold of her and pulled her closer to him. "It wasn’t too hard?"

She shrugged. "It's not like I won't see him in the morning." 

"And now you are back with the prettiest." He nuzzled her neck. Scotty chuckled saying that they were both the prettiest, no fight there. He squeezed her more, going for a kiss on the lips. "Just two more days and we go back home. Then you can do all you want with him, I won't even be there." 

"You always say this and half of the time you end up joining in." She teased him.

"Only because someone always begged me to come." His hands ran under her shirt. Scotty felt something hard on her leg. Her eyebrows raised. Soap smiled and shrugged off. 

"Come on, Johnny." Scotty insisted on his name, she knew how much he loved hearing it from her. "Look who is all excited now." He chuckled. It's not like they never did it quietly before.

The next morning, surprisingly, the three task force members woke up before everyone. As thanks for the hospitality and because the calm morning would allow them to do something they hadn't done in awhile, they prepared breakfast for the household. Nothing very fancy but it was a nice gesture. One that the mom appreciated when she found the food ready to eat with the table set. When everything was done Scotty insisted on doing the dishes, to which Finn and Mackenzie argued, but in the end, they worked as a team to do it. "Had some fun last night?" The eldest nudged her. Scotty frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"John always forgets my room is next to his and… don't worry I understand. It must be hard to resist the MacTavish charm, aye?" 

Scotty's cheeks turned hot and red quickly when she understood. She was sure they had been quiet enough. Whatever was the reason she heard, the conversation turned to another topic. Mostly why the weird nicknames. Force of habits, the three of them still used their call sign when talking which could be confusing at first to the one who didn't use it. She had no problem explaining the reason behind hers. Ghost, they only had to know it was like that and no other reason. Soap, they would have to ask him as he rather liked to keep it classified. After that, Soap took his girlfriend and workmate to the farm to help feed the goats. 

It was fun to again be just the three of them. Goats being happy to see the food being spread, baby goats jumping everywhere and headbutting each other. Scotty was crouching to pet one when another hopped on her back and a triumph baa. They all laughed heartily. Soap asked if the two of them could get something in the barn. 

They went to grab what was asked. They looked around without much success. Scotty decided to climb the ladder to go see in the upper section of the barn if it might be there. She lost her footing halfway up. Ghost was just behind her and stopped her fall, or at least made her landing softer. "Thanks and sorry!" Scotty said, trying to get up. But Ghost's arms keep closed around her. "Simon, not here."

"If anyone says anything, let's pretend I broke your fall." He smirked behind his mask.

"That's what you did! Not that we have to pretend!" Scotty lifted his mask for a quick kiss. Kissing on the ground of the barn was not the most romantic, but they kissed in a worse situation. Battlefield was one. 

"What the fuck!" A voice echoed in the barn. Their blood froze. Ghost pushed her away and they stood quickly. Finn was standing there with a bucket that he dropped. "Johnny!" He yelled. The anger was noticeable in his tone. Before they couldn't even explain themselves, he left in a hurry. 

Despite their best effort to catch up, Finn outran them. Mackenzie and the father were with Soap, when they saw Finn waving his arms shouting. The Scotsman was confused at first, but his heart sank down as soon as he saw Ghost and Scotty run behind him. That could only mean bad news. "Johnny! Your girlfriend is fucking whore!" The young one dropped once he was close enough from everyone. The insult was filled with so much rage. 

"That's no way to talk ab-" Mackenzie started before being cut off by the youngest. 

"She was kissing that asshole! In the barn!" He pointed at Ghost when they finally reached the group. Scotty thought her heart was about to burst out of her chest between the sprint and the stress. Mackenzie and her father look at the two with disappointment and disgust. 

"We welcome you in your family and you dare cheat on my brother like that!"

"No wait, it's not what you think!" Scotty finally breathed out. Soap also turned to speak but was cut off by Finn.

"No it's exactly what I think! I saw it with my own eyes!"

"Let me ex-" 

"What there's to explain, nothing!"

"Enough!" The father yelled over everyone, it echoed on the fields but brought back order. "Let's hear whatever she has to say." His tone, although firm and calm, was also filled with animosity. Soap who hadn't been able to say anything so far watched this all unfolds. He knew. He knew that if Ghost dared to speak, Finn wouldn't no hesitate to jump on the man. Meanwhile, he could see the sheer panic in Scotty's eyes. No matter the words she did be using, it would take a lot to convince his family.

Soap took the first step while everyone was holding each other at gunpoint with their eyes. He grabbed Scotty's hand in his, intertwining their fingers and squeezed tight. "Camille is my girlfriend. And… that is Camille's boyfriend." He pointed to Ghost who stood there, close to her, her fingers only brushing. The three other McTavish were bewildered. It took a few seconds before anyone spoke again. 

"Wait what?" Finn reacted first. "Your lieutenant is also her boyfriend? What?" 

"It's a long story." Soap replied. He tried to make short, give the big idea of how it all came to this. While Ghost and Scotty had been together for over two years, he started dating her or was added to their family three months and half ago. The three of the clan, looked at the Task Force trio processing the news. 

"So… are you also dating Ghost?" Mackenzie asked, visibly unsure.

"No, only her." Soap replied with a nervous laugh, cheeks slightly pink. "Look I didn't want to say anything about yet, exactly for this reason."

"It's a hard concept to grasp, lad." His dad crossed his arms on his chest. "But I suppose, as long as you are happy. You are all happy then, that's all that matters. Now… to explain this to your ma… Good luck. Mack, let's finish what we started." 

"That explains better why he was there then." Finn realized looking at Ghost. "Better than your sorry excuse." He nudged his brother. "And really Camille, one man was not enough? I'm kidding. Still feels weird, but like dad said if you are happy." He was about to go away when Soap grabbed him by the shoulder and made him turn around.

"Finn, you have something to say to the lady." 

"What?.... Oh right… I'm sorry for calling you a whore I didn’t mean it, I was just shocked and furious." He extended his hand. Scotty took it with a smile.

"No worry. Thanks." Finn left them on this to also return on his task, leaving them there alone standing. 

"Only us can call her that." Ghost spoke. Scotty gasped and shoved her elbow in his side.

"Simon! Come on!"

"I mean he is right." Soap added. She turned to him about to do the same she did to Ghost but he dodged. 

"I must admit, I'm glad I don't have family so we don't have to go through this two more times." Ghost sighed. They looked at him unsure. "Well there's still her family who doesn't know about. Or did you say something?" 

She shook her head. No she had not and this would be for another time. Telling the MacTavish was enough for now. Especially that the mother was still clueless about all of that. Not that Scotty had forgotten, but she was focusing too much on seeing how everything was working out that this had been a second thought. Well there was still time till then. For now, they could try to enjoy the last days, together without the fear of being exposed.