#< for lisa the hopeful? not sure if it's right to add that but thought she could have an extra tag...

[peridots-pixiwolf]

[Start ID. A dark, warm-toned drawing of Tundra, a robot with bladed legs and mechanical hands both lightened by frost, and a face like that of a fencing mask. She wears a blue jacket with a fluffy white ruff and pockets on the shoulders and chest, a long green skirt with tassels and pale wavy lines at the border, and a brown belt with a pouch at the side. She's shown from the right, leaning back on a stack of pillows and a wooden wall as she looks out to the left, disregarding the open book in her hand, her legs bent in front of her. Under her is a yellow and red rug which pads gritty flooring, over her are series of low, round string lights, providing soft lighting in a room that's partially open to the night sky.]

it's a friend's birthday today yet again... in honor of the occasion here's a Tundra for @automatonknight :]

[nglgfics]

The roadie - part 2

(Warning: Mention of an abusive relationship)

(18+)

Masterlist

Part 1

You had a nervous knot in your stomach before you even stepped off the train.

Not excitement, not exactly. More like something else. Like a thread pulled too tight in your chest, humming quietly under your ribs. Like stepping into a room you’d left too soon, unsure what you’d find still waiting there.

Lisa was with you again, dragging her wheeled bag behind her, already fanning herself with the train ticket. The heat was thick in the air, that still, stifling kind of June warmth that clung to the city and made the pavement sweat.

She was chatting the whole way—about work, about Mark, about how she was “definitely not shagging him again unless he at least pretends to buy her dinner.” You half-listened. You nodded when it made sense to. But your head was somewhere else.

Not that you said it. Not that you needed to.

Lisa knew. Probably more than you’d told her. She didn’t press. She let you float through the check-in at the budget hotel, let you leave your bag on the bed without unpacking, and didn’t comment when you stood in front of the mirror a bit longer than usual.

You changed your shirt twice. Settled on the one that wasn’t trying too hard. Wiped off your lipstick. Reapplied it. Took a breath.

You weren’t expecting anything.

But you still wanted to feel ready.

The venue was bigger than Birmingham and Poole, with metal beams across the ceiling and bar lights glowing amber against concrete walls. You slipped in early with Lisa, the air thick with reverb and the faint tang of beer soaked into everything.

She peeled off quickly—Mark had found her like a magnet and was already making her laugh near the front of the bar. You stayed where you were. Close to the wall. Cool bottle of water in hand. Watching the space fill. Watching for him.

You weren’t pretending anymore. You were hoping to see him.

And then—you did.

Off to the side of the stage, crouched over a pedalboard, sleeves shoved up, hair in his face. Focused. Still. Same as he’d been in Birmingham. Same as he’d been in Poole.

But now, the sight of him hit different. Not harder. Not lighter. Just deeper.

You thought you might look away. But you didn’t.

He looked up.

And saw you.

No smile. No wave. Just his eyes locking onto yours. A small shift in his posture—almost nothing. But you felt it.

Like he’d been waiting for you to show, and now he didn’t have to.

You felt it everywhere.

After soundcheck, you wandered away from the crowd. Too loud by the stage. Too many people by the bar. You ended up by a side hallway—cooler, dimmer, quiet for a moment.

You leaned against the wall and closed your eyes.

You were half expecting him by now. So when you opened your eyes and he was there—it wasn’t a surprise.

But it still did something to you.

He stopped a few feet away. Same slouched stance. Same old hoodie, sleeves shoved to his elbows. Fringe sticking to his forehead from the heat.

“I thought you might show,” he said.

You shrugged. “I had a ticket.”

He gave a low, amused sound. “That what we’re going with?”

You met his eyes. “You have a better theory?”

He looked at you for a beat. Just looked.

Then: “Didn’t think I’d see you again.”

“Yeah,” you said, honest. “I wasn’t sure either.”

You stood like that for a while. Not talking. Not needing to.

The air was warm, and the space between you even warmer.

Then, softer: “I looked for you,” he said. “In Poole.”

That one landed.

You didn’t look away. “Yeah. I know.”

A pause stretched between you. Then—quiet, a little hoarse:

“I shouldn’t have pulled back like that.”

You meant to leave it there.

But something in his silence made you add, low:

“I wanted to see you. I just… didn’t want to get it wrong.”

His jaw shifted slightly. He didn’t push it. Just nodded. Slow. Like he understood exactly what you meant.

“You staying tonight?”

You hesitated. “Same hotel as Lisa.”

“Right.”

He didn’t ask for more. Didn’t try to fix anything.

But before he stepped away, he said:

“I’m glad you came.”

And that one—you didn’t pretend not to hear.

You nodded. “Me too.”

—-

After the gig, the city was glowing.

Sweaty, loud, golden with streetlight. The streets still held the warmth of the day, pavement radiating up into your shoes, the night pulsing with leftover sound.

You waited by the front doors, arms folded, eyes scanning for Lisa.

She didn’t come.

You paced. Checked your bag again. Kicked yourself a little for not grabbing the key off her before she disappeared into Mark’s laugh and whatever came next.

She’d left with him. No messages. No note. No clue where they’d gone.

And the room key—your only way in—was sitting in the back pocket of her jeans, probably under a jacket on someone’s floor.

You stared at the street for a while. Let the ache settle.

You hadn’t planned on this.

But of course, it tracked.

When you turned, Noel was standing nearby.

Leaning against the low wall just outside the venue, one boot hooked back against the brick, watching you.

Not intruding. Not assuming.

Just there.

Like he had been all night.

He didn’t speak right away, just caught your eyes with his. And waited.

You walked over and stopped a step away.

“Lisa disappeared,” you said.

He didn’t blink. “She take the key?”

You nodded.

He gave the smallest smile, dry and quiet. “Figures.”

He looked out at the street. Then back at you.

“You’ve got two options,” he said. “Chase her down.”

“Or?”

“Or come back with me.”

You studied him. His expression didn’t change.

No tension. No nerves.

Just the same dry calm. The same quiet kindness beneath the sarcasm.

“I’ve got a flat,” he said. “It’s not far. You’d have your own bed. Or the sofa. Whatever.”

You raised an eyebrow. “No tourbus?”

“Not tonight.”

A pause.

The air between you shifted again. Warmer. Closer.

Still no pressure. Still no assumptions.

And somehow—that made the decision easier.

“Alright,” you said.

He nodded once. “Alright.”

Then he turned. Hands in his pockets. No fanfare.

And you followed.

Not because you had nowhere else to go.

But because you knew—this was exactly where you wanted to be.

—-

The walk back to his flat was quiet, the kind of silence that didn’t ask to be filled. The city had softened around the edges—shop windows dark, traffic sparse, the night stretched long and warm like it didn’t want to let go of the day. You didn’t speak. Not because there was nothing to say, but because the stillness between you felt better than breaking it.

His flat was up a narrow staircase above a corner shop, the door sticking before it gave under his shoulder. He didn’t make excuses. Just flicked the light on and stepped inside, barefoot on scuffed floorboards. It smelled faintly of clean cotton, warm dust, something earthy and lived-in.

You paused just inside, watching him move—quiet, comfortable, not performative. A guitar leaned in the corner. Records under the coffee table. A fan turning lazily in the corner. The place had a kind of stillness to it. Like it didn’t mind being alone.

“You want a drink or anything?” he asked, glancing back.

You shook your head. “I’m good.”

He nodded once. “Bed’s through there,” he said, gesturing down the hall. “It’s yours tonight.”

You turned to look at him. “You don’t have to—”

“I do,” he said. Not pushy. Just matter-of-fact. “You’ll sleep better.”

You weren’t sure if it was the bed or the gesture that made your throat go tight, but you nodded. Said nothing more.

He disappeared for a moment and came back with a folded T-shirt. Held it out without comment.

You took it, fingers brushing his. “Thanks.”

“Bathroom’s on the left,” he said. Then added, dry, “Ignore the mess. Or judge me quietly.”

You gave him a look over your shoulder. “I’ll judge you silently. I’m polite like that.”

That pulled the corner of his mouth up—barely there, but real.

You changed with your back to him. Shirt slipped over your head, the borrowed T-shirt falling warm and loose over your skin. You bent to fold your clothes and felt it: his eyes. Just a flicker. Just long enough to stir the back of your neck.

You didn’t turn around. But you felt the heat of it stay.

When you looked up again, he’d peeled off his own shirt and tossed it onto the back of a chair. He was down to his boxers now, lean and soft-skinned, the faint rise and fall of his stomach marking the only sign that he was still catching his breath from the night.

He caught you watching.

Didn’t smirk. Didn’t tease.

Just held your gaze, unblinking, until you looked away.

The bedroom was quiet and warm. You slipped between the sheets and stared at the ceiling, the air thick with everything unspoken. The fan turned slow in the corner. The street sounds drifted up through the cracked window—soft laughter, a car engine, someone singing, far off and out of key.

You rolled onto your side.

Back again.

Pressed your thighs together.

Thought about his hands. The way his fingers had lingered when he pushed the strand of hair behind your ear when you first met. The line of his throat when he tilted his head to watch you, the flash of something more when he didn’t know you were looking.

Eventually, you got up. Not because you meant to. But because lying down still felt louder than moving.

The kitchen was dim, the light from the window painting soft stripes across the floor. You poured a glass of water and leaned against the counter, your fingers loose around the rim.

That’s when you saw him.

Still awake.

Sitting on the edge of the sofa, his elbows on his knees, head turned slightly toward the hallway like he’d heard you coming. His hair was tousled. His mouth a faint line. His chest bare, lit by the orange wash of a streetlamp outside.

You didn’t speak.

Just walked to him, slow and barefoot.

You stopped between his knees.

He looked up at you—quiet, steady, a question in his eyes he didn’t ask out loud.

You brushed your fingers through his hair.

He closed his eyes.

And then leaned forward and rested his forehead against your stomach.

His arms came around your thighs, loose and warm, not pulling—just holding.

You stroked his hair gently. Felt his breath through the cotton of the T-shirt. His hands stayed still, but you could feel it in his body—the way he exhaled. The way his shoulders dropped.

You didn’t say anything.

Didn’t need to.

After a while, he looked up. You didn’t move.

And without a word, he slipped his hands along your waist and tugged you gently down into his lap.

You settled into his lap, one knee on either side of his hips, your body folding into his with the kind of ease that surprised you. It wasn’t rehearsed. It wasn’t careful. It was just right.

His hands slid naturally to your waist. No hesitation. No grab. Just the steady pressure of his palms against your skin like he was grounding himself—or maybe you.

You didn’t speak.

Didn’t need to.

Your lips found his, and the kiss was soft at first—unrushed, exploratory. He kissed you like he meant to remember how every part of you felt. Your lips. Your weight. The sound you made when his hand slid higher beneath your shirt and found the bare skin at your back.

You deepened the kiss. Tilted your hips forward. The friction was instant and electric, the length of him hard against you through the thin fabric of your underwear and his boxers. You gasped into his mouth, and he broke the kiss long enough to catch his breath, forehead resting briefly against yours.

“Fuck,” he muttered, voice low and frayed at the edges.

Your response wasn’t words—it was motion. You rolled your hips again, chasing the friction. The heat between your legs was dizzying now, insistent and aching. You didn’t mean to grind down on him, not quite like that, but the way his hands tightened around your waist told you he didn’t mind. At all.

He groaned—quiet, but real—and pulled you in tighter, letting you move against him. His mouth found your throat, your collarbone, and then he shifted slightly, lifting your shirt. Not all the way, just enough to mouth at the skin beneath it.

Your breath hitched when his hands cupped your breasts, thumbs brushing over your nipples through the fabric. When you arched into him, he didn’t ask for more—just lifted the shirt higher, his mouth following the trail of skin he’d exposed.

He took one nipple into his mouth, sucking gently, tongue circling. The sensation stole the breath from your lungs. You held onto his shoulders, fingers digging in, your whole body pressing closer as you rocked your hips again, this time unable to stop yourself.

He made a sound deep in his throat. His hands clamped at your hips, guiding the motion. His mouth moved to your other breast, slower this time, dragging his tongue in soft circles before he closed his lips around you again. You were gasping now—quiet, desperate little breaths—and he kissed up your chest as your hips kept moving, grinding with a slow insistence that felt almost unbearable.

Your knickers were soaked. The pressure was maddening, and you could feel how close he was too—his thighs tense, his grip unsteady, his breath catching every time you moved.

“Jesus,” he breathed. “You’re gonna kill me.”

You let out a shaky laugh, forehead resting against his. “You started it.”

“Not like that.”

He kissed you again—less polished now, more breath than shape—and your hands found the back of his neck, fingers threading into his hair. The rhythm between you was slow, almost torturous, the friction sweet and steady and not enough.

But somehow it was perfect.

And just when it started to feel like too much—when you thought you might actually come just like this, bodies pressed together and still dressed—he slowed you down. His hands on your hips softened, then stilled. Not in rejection. Just… holding.

You looked at him, chest rising fast, lips parted.

His gaze was heavy, locked on yours.

“Come to bed,” he said. Quiet. Certain.

You nodded.

Didn’t speak.

Just kissed him once more—slow, deep—and rose from his lap on shaking legs.

He didn’t follow right away. Just watched you go.

Like maybe he’d already been dreaming this.

You moved down the hallway in silence, barefoot and a little unsteady, the heat still lingering low in your belly. The bedroom was dim, lit only by the faint spill of streetlight through the open window. The air was still warm, the fan clicking gently as it turned.

You stood by the bed, your breath steadying as you waited.

He came in quietly, the door falling shut behind him with a soft snick. His eyes met yours—not cautious, not demanding. Just there. Present.

You didn’t say anything.

You reached for the hem of your shirt, but his hand stopped yours, gentle at your wrist.

“Let me.”

You let your arms fall, let him lift the fabric over your head slowly. He dropped it to the floor without taking his eyes off you.

His gaze moved down your body—not greedy, just slow. Intent.

His hands slid down your sides, then to the waistband of your knickers.

He paused.

You nodded.

He knelt. Pulled them down. Kissed the inside of your thigh, then rose again, stepping out of his boxers without a word.

There was no flourish. No waiting.

Just you, and him, and everything between you stripped away.

You lay back on the bed and he came down over you, bracing himself with one arm beside your head. His other hand rested at your hip, thumb brushing a slow line there like he needed to keep touching you, even in stillness.

His eyes met yours once more. A check. A promise.

And then he lowered himself between your legs.

He took his time—tongue warm, soft, deliberate. He didn’t push. Didn’t rush. Just moved with a quiet certainty, learning you in real time, gauging every shift in your breath, every catch in your throat.

You felt your body opening under him, slow and trembling. His hands anchored your hips, not to control—just to stay close. Your fingers curled into the sheets, your breath ragged, until finally, everything inside you broke loose and gave in.

You came hard, hips lifting off the bed, his name barely escaping your lips.

He didn’t stop until the shaking in your legs had passed. Until you’d sagged back into the mattress, your chest rising fast, one hand falling weakly over your eyes.

He kissed your thigh again. Then moved up your body, slow and deliberate, like he didn’t want to lose contact for a second longer than he had to.

You were still gasping quietly when he settled over you, his skin hot, his chest damp.

His mouth brushed your jaw. Then your cheek.

You turned to look at him, and he just said, “Still with me?”

You nodded, too full to speak.

His hand slid between your legs again—slow, tender, reacquainting—and you let him find the rhythm again. But this time, he brought his body down over yours and kissed you deeply as he guided himself to your entrance.

The pressure made you gasp.

He went slow—inch by inch—until he was fully inside you, your legs around his waist, your arms curling over his shoulders to hold him there.

He swore into your neck. Not loud. Just stunned.

He didn’t move at first. Just stayed still, forehead resting against yours, his breath uneven.

Then he started to move.

The rhythm was slow. Steady. Each thrust deep and patient, like he wanted you to feel every second of it. He watched your face. Adjusted. Made space for you.

You pulled him closer, mouth at his jaw, breath catching as your body clenched around him, sensitive from the first orgasm, the heat blooming again faster this time, sharper.

“Yeah,” he murmured. “Just like that.”

You came again, buried against his neck, a soft moan curling out of you as your body shook around him.

That undid him.

His movements faltered. He buried his face in your hair and gave a single, broken sound—deep and low—and came inside you, his whole body curling with it, held together only by your hands and breath.

You stayed wrapped around each other, barely moving.

His hand came to rest on your back, fingers tracing up and down in slow, calming strokes.

The fan ticked.

The city breathed.

Your chest rose and fell against his.

Eventually, he shifted just enough to pull the blanket over you, then gathered you closer, as if sleep was coming whether he wanted it to or not.

But before it did, you spoke.

Quiet. Uncertain.

“I wasn’t expecting this.”

His fingers paused at your back. Then resumed.

“I know,” he said.

You lay there for a few long seconds. You thought that might be the end of it.

But then he added, “Still glad it happened.”

You let out a breath. Almost a laugh. Small.

“Me too.”

—-

You woke to warmth—sunlight pooling through the curtain, the fan humming low in the corner, and the weight of his arm across your waist. His chest was pressed to your back, legs tangled with yours beneath the sheets, the skin of his forearm resting soft against your stomach.

For a few quiet minutes, you didn’t move.

He didn’t either.

Then, without lifting his head, he mumbled into the space between your neck and shoulder, “What time is it?”

You smiled. “Early.”

He made a faint, wordless noise and didn’t move again.

You stayed like that, half-asleep together, until the light grew too strong to ignore and the room began to stir around you.

In the kitchen, you moved on instinct—kettle filled, mugs out. His shirt hung soft on your frame, brushing the backs of your thighs. You stood barefoot on warm tiles while the water boiled, sleep still clinging to your limbs like fog.

He came in a few minutes later, barefoot, quiet, rubbing his hand through his hair. You passed him a mug, and he took it without saying anything at first.

Then, a small smile. “You didn’t run off.”

You looked at him over the rim of your cup. “Should I have?”

He shook his head. “No. Just… wasn’t sure.”

You shrugged. “Didn’t want to.”

That seemed to settle something.

You sat at the little table together, sun cutting across the wood. The quiet wasn’t heavy. Just calm.

“You alright?” he asked after a few sips.

You nodded. “Yeah. You?”

He looked down at his tea, then back at you. “Yeah.”

A pause.

Then you said it—not dramatic, not hesitant. Just honest.

“That wasn’t nothing.”

He met your eyes.

“No,” he said. “It wasn’t.”

You let that sit for a second. Let the truth of it stretch out between you. Warm. Real.

“Good,” you said softly.

He smiled. “Yeah. Good.”

[morgana-larkin]

Hey hey hey I was wondering if I could do a request for everyone’s favorite nanny Chessy? I need to see more looove for her on this app (and just for Lisa Ann Walter in general 🥰)

Okay but my request is smutty af, I’m not sure if Chessy would be one to have a mommy kink but I was thinking about Chessy in her khaki pants (yk the iconic outfit) and the reader only in panties who grinds a wet spot onto Chessy’s khakis 🥵

Hi Anon! Ok so this took waaay longer than I thought it would but here it is! It’s smutty and fluffy 🥰. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

On another note: ‘Worth It’ fans for Melissa will be happy to hear that it’s in progress and I’m at 1000 words so far!

Her Company

Warnings: smut, lots of fluff

Words: 2.2k

You see the car pull in and see Hallie and Nick get out, followed by Chessy running out screaming and hugging her. You smile and shake your head at her actions as she can be a real goofball. You then see Chessy motioning for you to come over and you stop working on the grapevines and make your way over to her side.

“What’s up Chess?” You ask her when you reach them.

“Hal, you remember Y/n right?” Chessy asks Hallie and Hallie nods. “Well we kinda got into a relationship while you were at camp.” She says and you look at her curiously.

“What do you mean by kinda?” You ask her and she looks at you with a smile and gives you a kiss on the cheek.

“Congratulations to you both.” You hear Hallie say and then she goes to the house.

“I gotta get back to work.” You tell Chessy and she nods and holds your hands.

“I’ll see you later though right?” She asks you and you nod.

“Of course, go have fun with Hallie.” You tell her and she gives you a kiss before she goes to help Hallie unpack.

*A few hours later*

“I don’t know, she just seems different.” Chessy says as you’re listening to her ranting from her bed as she’s pacing around her room.

“Well she’s almost 12, Chess.” You tell her and she looks at you. “She’s growing up.” You add and she comes to sit beside you. You wrap an arm around her and rub her arm for comfort.

“I don’t like it.” She admits with a pout and you give her a kiss on the cheek.

“I know but that’s what kids do if you keep feeding them.” You joke and she chuckles.

“But there is something different about her, almost like she’s a different kid.” She says.

“Well who else could she be? I mean it’s not like she has a secret twin.” You tell her with a smile and she looks at you like she wants to say something but then closes her mouth before she does.

“You’re right, she’s just growing up.” She settles on and then you put your head on her shoulder and she wraps an arm around your waist. You pull your head up and kiss her and she kisses you back instantly. She puts a hand on your cheek and you put your hands on her neck and keep her close to you. “I love you.” She tells you as you both pull away for air.

“I love you too.” You immediately tell her and then you go back to kissing each other. She then pushes you back on the bed while still kissing you and you giggle at her actions.

*The next day*

You’re picking out grapes when you see Hallie burst through on her horse and run into the house. You shake your head at that and go back to working. Nick comes a few minutes later and sees you.

“Did Hal come here?” He asks you and you nod.

“Ya, she ran into the house.” You tell him and he thanks you before following after Hallie.

You see Chessy coming out a few minutes later and she looks to be crying. You take off your gardening gloves as she’s coming over to you and you immediately wrap her in a hug.

“Chess, what's wrong?” You ask her when she pulls away.

“Can I tell you something but you can’t tell anyone?” She asks you and you nod.

“Of course.” You immediately say.

“Remember how I was concerned that Hal was acting differently?” She begins and you nod. “Well the truth is I just found out that she’s not Hal.” She continues on and you look at her confused. “She actually does have a secret twin and Nick told us to never tell her but I guess they were sent to the same camp. And that girl in there is her twin named Annie.” She explains and you take a few seconds to process what she just told you.

“Oh, wow.” You say and she nods. “How are you feeling?” You ask her.

“I haven’t seen Annie since she was a baby, it’s so nice to see her again. I couldn’t help it and I hugged her while crying even with Nick right there.” She says and you chuckle. “She doesn’t want Nick to know, I think she came here to meet him.” She tells you and you nod.

“Well you know they’ll have to get switched back at some point so why not spend time with her while you can.” You tell her and she nods.

“Ya, I’m actually going to make some lunch now. Do you want to come keep me company?” She asks you and you nod.

“Sure, I’m certain Nick won’t care if I take a break.” You say with a smile and then she grabs your hand and leads you into the house.

You sit down at the counter but before she can start to make anything you hear a bell ringing and Meredith calling for Chessy. She looks at you confused and then walks to where they are, you follow after her.

“You rang?” Chessy says, voice covered with sarcasm and her trying not to laugh. Meredith then asks her for two martinis and you can tell Chessy is looking perplexed at Nick.

“Please Chess.” Nick says and she turns around and goes to the wine rack to make the martinis. You follow her to the kitchen and she gets the glasses and you burst out laughing and she turns around to look at you.

“I’m sorry but that was hilarious.” You say through giggles and she shakes her head at you with a smile.

“You are such a goof.” She says.

“Oh come on, I can tell you were trying not to laugh as well.” You tell her and she snorts.

“I’ll be right back.” She says as she goes to bring them the martinis. She comes back a minute later and then gets ready to make something to eat.

“Have I told you how good you look in that outfit?” You tell her and she smiles at you before going to kiss you on the lips. She deepens the kiss and cups your cheek.

“Well this is new.” You hear and immediately pull back from Chessy and you look to see Annie there.

“Hi Annie.” You say and she looks at Chessy.

“You told her?” She asks Chessy and Chessy nods.

“She’s my girlfriend and I needed to tell someone. I mean this is big, I haven’t seen you since you were a baby.” She says.

“So why are you here and how did you meet Hallie?” You ask her and she looks to make sure her dad isn’t around. “I wouldn’t worry about him, Ms fancy blonde is keeping him busy.” You tell her and she nods before taking a deep breath.

“I met Hallie at camp and we realised that we were twins after a little bit. Then we wondered what the other parent was like so we sort of… switched places.” She explains in her British accent.

“And I see you’re from London.” You ask and she nods. You, Chessy and Annie all continue talking for a little bit and then Annie leaves.

Chessy then finishes making food for everyone and prepares you and her a plate first.

“Eat up.” She tells you and then leans closer to you. “I have nothing to do for a couple of hours so best to keep your energy up.” She tells you and you look at her surprised and she winks at you.

You both eat quickly and she then lets everyone know that lunch is ready before taking your hand and dragging you to her bedroom. She quickly takes your shirt and bra off and cups both of your boobs while sucking on your neck.

“Mm, Chessy.” You moan quietly so no one could hear. That gets her to take your pants off but leaves your underwear on as an idea comes to her mind.

“Sit on my thigh.” Chessy tells you as she sits on the bed and pats her thigh. You smile at her before sitting on her thigh and wrap your arms around her neck before you start grinding on her thigh. “Mm that’s it, make yourself cum on my thigh, make it soak your underwear and my pants.” She says and you rest your forehead on hers. You keep grinding on her and you start to feel your orgasm build and your breath gets heavier. “Are you getting close, lovely?” She asks and you nod.

“Yes Chess.” You say and she smiles at you and then she tenses her leg muscles, bringing you more pleasure. “Oh Chess, I’m so close.” You say a bit louder than you should have and she silences you with a kiss as you come. She continues kissing you after, as you come down from your high, and you’re not complaining as you love kissing her. “Mm Chess.” You say as she pulls back. You then get up from her lap and sit beside her on the bed and you start blushing as you look at her thigh. There, exactly where you were grinding, is a wet patch on her pants and you hide your face in her neck from embarrassment and she laughs.

“Don’t be embarrassed, lovely. I see it as proof that you enjoyed yourself on my thigh.” She tells you and you let out a pout while still hiding and she giggles. “Hey.” She says and gently pushes you out of her neck and you look at her. “I don't mind you making a mess, especially if I’m the one that’s causing you to be messy.” She says and you smile at her.

“I did enjoy myself.” You say softly and she smiles at you. “Although I should get back to work.” You say and she grabs your hips and pulls you back on the bed when you get up. “Ahh!” You yell as you didn’t expect her to do that. “Chess!” You say through giggles. “I have to go back to work but I can see you tonight.”

“Not yet, not until I’ve had my taste of you.” She says and goes for your neck.

“Chess, I can see you tonight to continue.” You tell her as she continues kissing and sucking your neck.

“I feel like I don’t get nearly as much time with you as I’d like.” She says as she pulls back and you cup her cheeks.

“I know, but you know that you’re welcome to come out and keep me company anytime that you’re free.” You tell her and she nods.

“I know, and I know you have to go back, but can I get one more orgasm out of you before you do? And I can keep you company for an hour after.” She tells you and you roll your eyes playfully before nodding.

“Alright.” You say and she takes your underwear off before pulling you more on the bed and circling your clit with her finger. She kisses you again when you start making noises and you wrap an arm around her neck and pull her closer to you. She keeps circling your clit faster and faster and then you’re right at the edge and come with a gasp. She gives you kisses all over your face as you come down from your high. She places the last kiss on your forehead and then she tucks your loose hair behind your ear and looks at you fondly.

“I love you.” She says and you smile at her.

“And I love you too.” You tell her. “You know I just realised that Hallie still doesn’t know that we’re together.” You tell her and she chuckles.

“I have a feeling she already knows. I mean we got together a month before she left.” Chessy says.

“Ya, I can’t believe it’s been 3 months and we still can’t stay away from each other.” You tell her before getting up and start getting dressed. Chessy sits up and stares at you as you get dressed with a smirk. “What are you smirking at over there?” You ask her playfully as you put your shirt on.

“That I got the most beautiful girl and only I get to see her naked.” She says and you snort before leaving the room.

“You’re such a flirt.” You tell her when she follows after you.

“And you love me like that.” She says as you reach the front yard and you turn around and walk backwards.

“I do, I love you just as you are.” You tell her and reach the vineyard and put your gloves on. She goes behind you and wraps her arms around your waist and gives you kisses on your neck, both of you smiling like idiots.

Inside the house Annie uses the phone to call Hallie.

“Hey Hal, I forgot to mention that your nanny Chessy is in a relationship.” She tells her.

“Oh please tell me it’s with Y/n. It’s been obvious that they have feelings for each other for like 4 months.” Hallie says.

“Yep, it’s with Y/n, and they’re all giggles and kisses.” Annie replies with and looks out the window to see the scene.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

@idonothingalldays-blog

@sexysapphicshopowner

@dvrkhcld

@lilfartbox1

@ricejucie

@unicorniusfallapatorius

@a-queen-and-her-throne

@sleep-deprived-athlete

@og-kxsh-420

@sasheemo

@midnight-lestrange

@dashbag-art

Let me know if you want to be added!

[ryngzmn]

S/O HEADCANNONS

CHARACTERS INCLUDED: dean, sam, and cas.

A/N: I got lazy writing these🤫 also I would’ve added more characters but I’m not that far into the show☹️ (I’m only on late s6 but I have a lot of spoilers LMAOOOO)

—————————————————————————

DEAN:

CIVILIAN VERSION:

- if you were a civilian, I feel like dean would try to keep his hunting life a secret from you for as long as possible.

- he doesn’t want another cassie situation to come up because he loves you so much.

- personally, I don’t feel like dean would’ve told you on his own terms, I feel like you somehow found out on your own.

- whether that be you found out he lied about whatever job he said he worked as — a job that obviously made people move around a lot, so you didn’t get suspicious — or you just found some fake IDS or some weapons you found while snooping in the Impala.

- you decided to stay, to take the risk of possibly being hunted down by the supernatural to be with dean. and to you, it was the best decision you had made in your life.

- he treats you so well for a guy who slept around a lot before he met you.

- he always tries to call you every night while he’s out of state hunting.

- I feel like he’d get you a promise ring, something to make up for the no-go decision of marriage.

- whenever he comes home from a hunt, he’s forever by your side, cuddling on the bed or the couch of your apartment. he never leaves your side, and will even stay interlocked with you if you decide to go to the kitchen, he’ll only let you go if you need to go the bathroom. (you need your privacy ofc)

HUNTER VERSION:

- dean was definitely a little hesitant to start a relationship with you, you were both hunters. that never ended well, he saw first hand from tamara and isaac.

- but, he eventually decided to just take the risk. you were one of the only people — beside sam and cas — who understood the life that you guys lived. the risks that came with it.

- dean never would’ve thought about having a domestic life, he knew that wouldn’t have worked out. he had enough experience trying to make it work with lisa and ben.

- but you, you give him a small spark of hope that there is a chance he can eventually run away from hunting and life in peace with you.

- he’d also get you a promise ring, an identical ring to the silver one he used to wear on the ring finger of his right hand.

- he’d secretly buy you cassette tapes of the type of music you like and start playing it for you when you two are alone in Baby. the smile on your face is worth every penny he spent. (if you have similar or the same music taste to dean, much like I do, he’d make a mix-tape of songs he has that remind him of you.)

- dean being with a hunter s/o would mean he isn’t that heavy on PDA, he believes that it could put a bigger target in your back than there already is.

SAM:

CIVILIAN VERSION:

- much like dean, he wouldn’t have told you at first. he didn’t want you to end up like jessica, and be strived of a full life you deserved to live.

- although, unlike dean, I feel like he’d tell you himself instead of you finding out on your own terms and possibly being pissed at him.

- sam has a habit of going to stores full of little trinkets, reason being he’d bring them to you. you have a whole collection at this point, and you don’t plan on getting rid of it.

- whenever he comes to visit, he likes to spoil you with whatever money he has from hustling pool with dean.

- around the time sam and dean get the bunker, he’d invite you to live full-time, that way he can be closer to you and not drive extra miles after a hunt just to see you. (forgot to add it, but I feel like dean would do the same thing.)

- he claimed that you could help them do research on cases since sam doesn’t want you getting into the hunter lifestyle.

HUNTER VERSION:

- I believe that sam would be more open to a relationship than dean would be, sam knows you can protect yourself. you’re a hunter.

- while on hunts, sam always makes sure to keep an eye on you and make sure you’re safe.

- sam would 100% let you chat his ear off, even if it’s about a topic he isn’t interested in.

- if you had long enough hair, sam would definitely love to play with your hair. whether that was braiding it or just running his hands through it. (totally not based off one of blondie’s headcannons haha..)

- in his free time, he likes to lay your head in his lap and read to you, it’s a moment of domesticity that he loves.

CASTIEL:

CIVILIAN VERSION:

- you two first met after he lost his grace and Dean kicked him out of the bunker.

- he wasn’t all used to being a human, and you didn’t think he was weird for it. in fact, you helped him adjust to life without grace.

- when cas got his grace back, he was worried for you. you didn’t know he was an angel and he’d eventually have to return to the Winchester brothers.

- eventually, he decided to tell you before he left. you looked a him like he was crazy, it wasn’t until he showed you his wings in the form of a shadow behind him.

- he didn’t want you to stay at the bunker, he thought there was still a chance that a supernatural being could break in and possibly hurt you.

- and that belief grew after dean became a demon and tried to kill sam in the bunker.

- much like sam, castiel would also get you little trinkets he obtained from going on hunts with sam and dean.

- I also feel like he’d bring jack over to your apartment every now and then since he’s like a son to him!

HUNTER VERSION:

- at first, you were a little wary of castiel. but when you saw how much dean and sam trusted him, you decided to let yourself like him a little more.

- cas always gave you space, he never tried to force you to like him. he always let you get used to his presence at your own pace.

- it wasn’t until cas lost his grace and was forced out of the bunker did you realize how much you actually liked having him around.

- so when he eventually returned, you started treating him more like a friend and less than a stranger you were forced to interact with.

- eventually, that friendship bloomed into a relationship between an angel and a supernatural hunter.

- if you were ever injured on a hunt, you’d be the first one he’d heal. sometimes, you’d have to force him to heal someone else because they had worse wounds than you did.

- I feel like cas would love to hold your hand, just interlocking your fingers gives him a sense of peace.

—————————————————————————

tags! : @ryvkkr @marunene

[dandelion-wings]

writing well ahead of myself on something I may never write and am am probably not posting on main if I do, but the scene is clawing at the inside of my skull right now and reasonably worksafe, so (with a tip of the hat to @theabysscomeshome):

---

Once everything is cleaned up, Rosaria has stopped getting bitingly defensive with Diluc ('bitingly' being the appropriate term, though he growls at each warning snap like he's barely more socialized than she is), and Jean is satisfied with her healing work, Lisa sets herself up by the pallet and waits.

"Cutie," she gets to say just as soon as Diluc's little Alberich comes awake, "if you wanted to be a princess so badly, all you had to do was ask me. Rosaria has her talents, but fleshshaping isn't among them."

Diluc's human makes a blurred, gurgly sound of confusion.

"You can do that?" Jean asks. There's a look on her face that Lisa thinks would be hope, if there wasn't so much terror in it. She squeezes her prince's hand tight.

"She can," Diluc says.

"I didn't always have four horns, darling," Lisa adds, flicking Jean's chin gently with the tip of her tail before she can start asking prying questions about how Diluc knows that. He can be as terribly defensive as Rosaria on that particular subject. "I would need to study up on human anatomy first, but I'm *sure* you can help with that."

Jean is so cute when she's that brilliantly red. But instead of the charming protest that usually comes with it, she nods. "If that would help you help Kaeya...."

Who gives a rusty laugh, cutting her off. "It's a nice thought, but we both know it's not an option. You were the one who told me I couldn't play that game any more. Unless you think the whole council has suddenly changed their minds on having a royal daughter."

A flinch runs through Jean, and Lisa, instinctively defensive, leans in until she can smell the tears glittering unshed in that starry eye, and knows that her own green eyes and the static rising from her scales are all that will be perceptible in turn.

"Oh, cutie," she purrs, letting some of the harmonic distortion that humans so hate leak into her voice, "did you think Diluc was ever going to give you *back*?"

"Wasn't that the point? A royal prince in exchange for Eroch and his plans?"

"Kaeya," Jean starts to say, and then stops herself, as if she's afraid to deliver bad news. As if her prince doesn't know as well as she does, as every one of them does, that Kaeya demonstrably doesn't have that much value to those Diluc was so sure would want him back.

Diluc growls, a crackling underlying it meant to remind them all that he carries a furnace in his chest, and steps in with clear intent to shoulder Lisa aside. She pulls back before he can do so, though it's charming to see how Jean watches him move and tenses at the near-contact, as if she could leap up and throw him off if he actually shoved Lisa aside. She might have given up on slaying dragons, but she's still a knight at heart.

"Even if that *would* work, I'm not sending you back to that den of villainy." Diluc plants a forefoot on his human's chest, head tilted to glare down at him and smoke leaking from his nostrils. "You're part of my hoard now. And a Ragnvindr never gives up their hoard."

Kaeya chuckles again, but relaxes beneath the weight of Diluc's clawed foot. "In that case... it would be ungracious to refuse. So long as *you* don't mind having a princess. They generally require more maintenance, you know."

"Once I reclaim the rest of my hoard, I'll be more than able to afford it."

Diluc keeps his foot atop Kaeya, claws resting carefully against her bare chest without ever breaking skin. Kaeya is looking at him with the same possessiveness with which he regards her. And, most importantly, Jean is smiling, hope become joy, all that terror that had restrained it turned to glad relief.

"Congratulations. Diluc has a princess now." Rosaria pads forward with her tail whisking the ground behind her. "Since it sounds like that plan is a no-go, do we have any others? I'm still willing to crash the palace and bite off Eroch's head."

[curio-queries]

I've been thinking about your post on Mona Lisa, and it helped me realize my feelings and thoughts about it. Like you, I was really put off by the lyrics. It's super catchy, so I can turn my brain off to enjoy it (and seeing it in concert definitely was so much fun lol), but if I even for a second start actually paying attention to it, then I feel all icky.

The difference between it and Seven/3D for me, though, is the framing. Ostensibly, all 3 songs are about wanting to have sex with a girl, but Seven and 3D focus more on the sex while Mona Lisa focuses on the girl. Like in JK's songs, the mention of the girl is basically always just in relation to him wanting to have sex with her (at least his parts). J-Hope's Mona Lisa, on the other hand, is all about the girl and her looks and how those things entice him to want her. Like you said, it's subjective, but the latter feels objectifying to me. (I came back to this after typing the whole message, and I wanted to add: comparing a woman to a piece of art is inherently objectifying for me. Again, just my opinion, but this song is just expanding on an idea that's rooted in objectification. Like yeah, it's just a song; it's not that serious; it's just J-Hope expressing how beautiful he finds this girl. Sure, but I that doesn't change how I feel about the lyrics.)

(Sidenote, I'm also aroace, and for me, Seven and 3D (JK parts) are just like coming across smut scenes in books/fics. It does nothing for me, but I'm not disgusted or put off by it or anything. I can appreciate it for what it is. I don't know if I would attribute my dislike of Mona Lisa to being aroace, though. Like, it just doesn't feel right for me to say that being aroace has made me more sensitive about what I perceive as objectification.)

Hi anon, thank you so much for sending this in! Like I said, I'm pretty lost with myself on this topic right now and that's very strange for me. Usually I can dissect and describe exactly why something is bothering me. So I'm exceedingly grateful for the people that are sharing their viewpoints, especially my fellow aspecs.

The main reason I was thinking it may be influenced by my aspec is I tend to fall into the demisexual category most days (Although, I really struggle with the concept of labels period so even classifying it as this doesn't feel right). But the idea is that sexual attraction only develops after there's an emotional bond first. Which is obviously not part of this song. But let's be honest, what catchy sexy songs talk about emotions at the same time? Not very many, and I told have a problem with those. So I don't think that's it.

I was talking with someone about the idea that maybe it's the expected level of maturity. Let's face it, most of ARMY feels like we know the members of BTS pretty well so having some expectation about their level of maturity is not surprising. JK is more easily accepted of releasing 3D because he was younger than the others. But Hobi releasing a song like ML AFTER completing his military service? Idk i guess I did have certain expectations for him.

Your completely right about Seven and 3D being like smut scenes. Everyone knows what these songs are about and it's clear to opt in/out when you're up for it. But no one's talking about ML being in the same vein. Like we're in the wrong for saying that this should be treated as opt-in/out-able. (Boy that sentence is awful grammar but I don't know how else to write it right now)

Anyway, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and viewpoint. I still don't think I have an answer for myself but it's so nice to know that I'm not alone in having been bothered by it.

[daughterofcain-67]

🅦hαt 🅞ncє 🅦αs 🅜ínє (pt.2)

(Dean Winchester x Reader)

(Part 1) (Part 3)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: After a phone call from Jodi, Dean decides to go see you in hopes to make things up to you. You debate on whether or not he should know about his daughter.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: None other than a mention of some spoilers

The sound of one of Dean’s Black Sabbath cassettes rang through the Impala as he focused on the road. Jodi had been in contact with Y/N? Why didn't Y/N reach out to him? Or even Sam?

That phone call from Jodi was unexpected and Dean still didn't know all of the details of everything. All Dean knew was that Y/N was working at some Walgreen's several towns over from Jodi and now she was living with Jodi after they reconnected while Jodi was on a hunt one weekend.

"Dude, why are you so tense about this?" Dean heard his little brother ask. You know for a guy that's supposed to be the smarter one of the duo, he definitely had his blond moments once in a while. But then again, Dean hadn't had the time to lead on how worked up about you leaving he really was.

"It's just.. when she left it wasn't exactly on the best terms, okay? Let's leave it at that." Dean answered and Sam raised a brow. It was a look from the younger brother that seemed to say 'maybe we shouldn't leave it at that' but Sam knew it was an issue between you and Dean and honestly- the younger hunter wasn't sure he would even know how to help fix things if Dean told him everything.

"Well maybe that's why Jodi called you in the first place. I mean it wasn't a secret to anyone that she cared about you. Maybe Jodi thought that now would be a good time for you to talk about whatever that fight was. I mean it's been a year, and I think that's a long enough time without reaching out."

Dean listened and tightened his jaw. It was a little annoying how much sense Sam made sometimes. It was partly the reason why Sam ended up being the one taking on these trials anyways, and Dean still hated the idea because in his mind it was his job to keep Sam safe - even if they were in their 30's.

"Yeah, I guess you have a point." Dean finally replied but his gaze was still fixed on the road ahead of him to get to Jodi's.

~

"You asked him to come here?" You asked Jodi with a bit of an upset tone. You weren't prepared to see Dean, and a part of you didn't want to after what happened when you left. He wanted you gone and you wanted to stay away.

"Y/N you need to be real about this. It's been a year and you need to talk this out. Plus, don't you think Dean has a right to know about his daughter? He's already lost three months with her." The sheriff pointed out as she sat next to Y/C/N and watched her play while she was on her tummy.

"Dean was the one that said he never should have brought me along. And even then maybe he shouldn't know about Y/C/N. Not because I don't want him to - but because both of the boys have enough on their plates almost constantly. He couldn't handle having a baby around even he wanted her. It'll only add on to his stress and that's honestly the last thing he needs." You sat down with Jodi and your daughter.

"That's a little unfair though, isn't it? He deserves at least a chance. Having a kid causes stress to anyone whether they're a hunter or not. It's hard being a parent and it can be challenging and its frustrating. Trust me, I would know. But on the flip side, having a child brings so much joy. Their smiles give you a reason to go on. They'll make you laugh, make you cry, make you feel proud. I'm sure you've felt some of those things already as a new mom." You nodded as Jodi spoke and looked at your daughter.

"Don't you think Dean deserves the chance to feel all of those things too? Don't you think Y/C/N deserves to have a father in her life?"

You continued to listen and you started to think. You remembered a time when Dean would talk about walking away from hunting and how he tried that with Lisa and Ben. You remembered how he would think it would be impossible to retire and have that fabled 'Apple Pie' life again. Then you started thinking about your daughter. You knew she would be better off if she had two parents. At least you hoped that would be the case anyways.

You watched as Y/C/N lifted her legs a little and tried her best to get on all fours so she could crawl or at least sit up. She had that same exact look of determination that Dean gets on his face. You knew Dean would raise her up with Rock and Roll and Scooby Doo, and you knew she would be all for it.

"We'll just have to see how he even feels about all of it. Who knows what kind of chaos both the boys are going through. If Dean thinks he can handle having a baby around amongst all of everything then we can talk about it." You said after a few moments with your thoughts.

"How long do you think it will take for them to get here?" You glanced over at Jodi as she started getting up and she walked over to the coat rack to get her jacket.

"Well, I gave him the call last night around midnight our time. I wouldn't be surprised if he and Sam were on the way right after the call. So maybe they'll be here sometime this afternoon or this evening if they don't stop." Jodi replied as she finished putting on her jacket and got ready to go to the station.

Your heart nearly flipped at the idea of Dean being that eager to see you again. But you had to force yourself to remember the fight so you wouldn't get too excited. You couldn't afford to have your heart so eagerly on your sleeve for Dean Winchester again.

"I see. Well, can you think of anything you would want for dinner tonight? I was thinking about going to the store and picking up some groceries anyway." You tried to change the subject and Jodi just smiled and chuckled.

"Make whatever you'd like. But don't forget the pie for the boys." She said, knowing Dean would eat most of the pie rather than Sam.

~

The evening came and after you fed your daughter and gave her a bath, you put her to bed in her crib in your room and she was fast asleep. Now you were in the kitchen making dinner for that night since Jodi was on her way back.

'What do I say? How would I even bring her up? Maybe it can just wait a while. Maybe he wouldn't warm up to the idea of kids after all.' Your mind was going a mile a minute as you started making some pasta. It was something simple and low energy to make and you were grilling some chicken with it.

But the more you allowed yourself to over think about it all, the more you gave yourself a headache. Your stomach was churning with the wave of anxiety because it's been so long since you've seen the Winchesters. A part of you wondered if you should even be feeling this way.

After all, if Sam said you shouldn't have been brought along and if they thought you had been such a hindrance to them, then why should you even consider the hope of hunting with them again? You were a mom now and you were with Jodi so now you had help. You didn't need the boys - even if you desperately wanted to be with them again. Especially Dean.

You heard the door open and you assumed it was Jodi based off the laughter that you hear but you also hear more than just her footsteps. You hear two other sets of footsteps followed by an all to familiar voice.

"You should've seen the time when Sam was bringing some groceries to the bunker. He slipped and fell and the milk dropped on the stairs and practically exploded everywhere." Dean laughed and you assume the brothers were telling embarrassing stories about one another to catch Jodi up on their shenanigans.

"I swear I had a bruise on my back for like a month. And its not easy going down stairs with bags blocking your view of where you step." Sam said and rubbed the back of his neck, a little embarrassed to say the least. "Plus you should've seen Dean with the pie prank."

"A pie prank? What did you do, Sam?" Jodi asked with a chuckle as she took off her jacket and placed it on the coat hanger.

"It wasn't a prank, it was the work of Lucifer." Dean said with so much annoyance in his tone.

"It was more like a work of art, really," Sam said with a smile before speaking again, "Dean wanted a pie one night. Nothing too out of the ordinary about that because it's Dean. Well I got him some pie and while the rest of dinner was being cooked, I mixed some hot peppers in with the pie filling."

Jodi laughed and Sam joined in when he reminisced on the prank he played on his older brother, "He went through three bottles of water. I swear he has almost no spice tolerance."

"Not when its ghost peppers like what you mixed in the filling." Dean remarked but he cracked a grin nonetheless. It was a memorable moment for sure and it was some joy for Sam in the downtime of their constant hunting and world saving.

"Oh you boys. Even with all of the jobs you've got it's nice to know you two still have fun with each other once in a while." Jodi smiled as she started walking into the kitchen. She motioned for the boys to follow her and so they did.

"Smells good in here, Y/N. Whatcha makin'?" You heard Jodi ask and when you looked over you smiled at Jodi.

"Some chicken alfredo." You answered and that was when you saw Dean walking through the door with his brother.

You swore that your heart stopped that you saw Dean and both of you instantly locked eyes. He was just as handsome as the day you left. He was really there with his brother. What were you supposed to say to him first? But you knew that you needed to say something to both of them.

"Hey, guys. Make yourself at home." You said and turned around so you could break your gaze from Dean and focus on the meal so nothing could burn.

Jodi and Sam looked at each other and Jodi watched as Sam gave Dean a little nudge to go talk to you. Then, Jodi and Sam went to the living room so they could talk.

Dean looked over and he saw that the other two left, then he looked back at you. He gulped a little before he started to walk over. It was odd. Dean has faced monsters, demons, angels, and yet he was hesitating on a simple interaction. Then again, you held a special spot in his heart and the fact that he pushed you away was holding him back. You had to still be angry with him right?

"Y/N, I.. You look great." He said and you could tell that he was struggling with where to start.

"Thanks. You haven't changed much." You replied and focused on the stovetop. You heard the way Dean sighed before he carefully reached out and took a careful hold of one of your hands and took the utensil form you. Then he turned the burner down.

He looked down at you and you refused to meet his gaze at first. But he gave your hand a soft squeeze before he started speaking.

"Y/N, I think you know why I'm here. I wouldn't put it past Jodi to let you know I was coming." He said and you shrugged slightly before you slowly lifted your gaze up at him and you took your hand away from him.

"I knew you were coming. I didn't really ask why you would travel all this way." You answered and crossed your arms a little, trying so hard to stay guarded.

"You haven't thought at all about the last night we spent at that hotel when we fought? Haven't thought about the argument? Because I have and if I could take everything back then I would. And you aren't exactly making things easy by being stand offish." Dean said.

"Dean, you can't just come over one night and expect everything to be fine and dandy just because you feel bad about what happened. What you said really hurt that night. Your problem is that you just don't think before you open your damn mouth. I know I wasn't there for a lot in the beginning and when Cass first came onto the scene. I know I came into your lives a little late but I turned out to be a pretty damn good hunter. Me caring about you didn't make it to where I was in the way. It made it to where Sam wasn't the only one looking out for you when Cass wasn't around. You were the one that messed up. And boy, you messed up big time."

"Don't you think I know that? You're right, I don't always think before I speak. And I regretted what happened everything I said the second after I let it slip. And I regretted it ever since you walked out of that door, alright? But ever since I got the call from Jodi that you were with her, I knew I had to see you again to at lease apologize even if you wouldn't listen."

"Then show me that you regretted it. Show me how badly you wish you could have taken everything back." You dared as you looked at Dean. Dean didn't hesitate this time around and he backed you up against the counter.

He lifted his hand and cupped your cheek and started to lean closer and closer until...

You suddenly hear your daughter crying upstairs. You saw a change in Dean's eyes as he backed up from you a little. You thought your mind was racing before: it was nothing compared to this moment. What could possibly be going on in Dean's mind now?

"Y/N? Is there something you need to tell me?"

Thank you guys for reading!

Feel free to let me know what you think! The feedback really helps a lot! Planning for a part three soon! Hope you enjoyed!

Tag list:

@chriszgirl92 @wildernessflora

[sebstanaddict]

Too Good To Be True

Sebastian Stan x Reader Story

Summary: A romantic comedy story where Sebastian Stan falls in love with reader but she is not who he thinks she is.

Seeing Sebastian hurt himself in a bike accident makes reader realize how strong her feelings for him are. But Sebastian still shows dislike towards her. Will she give up and leave him be? Or will she try and win his heart?

Pairings : Sebastian Stan x Female!Reader

Chapters : 15/28 (Might add more)

Chapter list >

Warning : none

Word count : 8.5k words

---

Chapter 15 - Treasure

Somewhere on Mulholland Drive - Wednesday, July 19th 2023, 10 am

—

The blaring sound of the siren coming from an ambulance overpowered all other sounds. At the corner of her eyes she could see an ambulance going towards where Sebastian was. Her heart dropped to her stomach as she stood up and watched Sebastian’s face contorted in pain through the monitor.

She quickly got out of the spectator’s box and ran towards where he was.

“Aurora! Where are you going?!” A hand shot out and held her back. Lisa, her makeup artist, looked at her, her eyebrows raised.

“I need to see him! I need to see if he’s okay!” She shouted, panic coursing through her as she tried to struggle free from Lisa’s hold.

“Aurora, he’s like a mile away from here. You can’t run over there. And I’m sure the ambulance already got to him.” Lisa said and she realized that Lisa was right.

“Let’s just wait by the trailers and see where they take him.” Lisa suggested.

“Oh, right. Okay.” She nodded and walked towards the trailers, heart pounding hard in her chest, hoping and praying that Sebastian was okay.

It took a while but she finally found out that Sebastian was taken to a hospital not far from there. The shoot for that day was canceled and she immediately asked to be taken to see him.

When she got to the hospital Sebastian was still in the ER. She waited with Chris, Chace, Anthony, Johnny, Maya and Hannah in the waiting room. Her mind kept thinking of the worst. 

She sat on one of the waiting chairs in the hospital, right across from the ER. Her eyes glued to the closed ER door. Everyone else was chatting around her but she couldn’t join them. She felt slightly paralyzed as the only thing she could think of was his face which was showing so much pain. She wished she could take the pain away from him.

In her worry she realized something. She had never felt this strongly about anyone. The thought of him being hurt and the potential of losing him, even though it was mostly unlikely, shattered her to her core. The thought made her realize how she had fallen in love with him so hard. Then she remembered the way he treated her in the past few days and she could feel herself drowning in the negativity of it all. A tear dropped from her eyes and before she realized it, she started crying.

As soon as she started crying everyone around her stopped talking. She realized she was making a fool of herself so she tried hard to stop crying but she couldn’t.

“Aurora.. ssshhh.. it’s okay. He’s gonna be okay.” Maya sat next to her and embraced her.

Maya rubbed her back gently and continued to say soothing words to her that successfully calmed her down. 

“I’m sorry.” She sniffled as she released herself from Maya’s embrace.

“It’s okay. I know you’re worried sick about him. We all are. But I think, judging from how he fell down, he’s gonna be okay. It wasn’t that bad.” Maya said, patting her arm gently.

“Oh I really hope so.” She replied, sighing.

Maya offered her some tissues and she took them gratefully. She wiped her eyes and cleaned her nose then looked up to see Chris, Chace and Anthony all were staring at her with their eyebrows furrowed.

Chris smiled a little when she looked at him and she smiled back. Then he turned away and started talking to Anthony and Chace. She couldn’t hear what they were talking about as they were standing a good distance from her. Once in a while all three of them glanced at her and she couldn’t help but feel they were talking about her.

She took a deep breath and turned away from them. She realized her crying publicly would make people talk but she didn’t care. It was what she felt about him and she couldn’t hide it.

Finally the ER door opened and a male doctor came out.

“Family of Mr. Stan?” The doctor called out.

“We’re his colleagues, doctor. His family is not here.” Maya stood up and approached the doctor and she immediately followed her.

Maya explained who she was and the doctor nodded.

“Well, Mr.Stan is doing okay. We’ve examined him and cleaned his wounds. We’ve done an X-ray on him and thankfully he doesn’t have any broken bones. He only suffers from a sprain on his right wrist and right ankle, and some minor cuts and bruises on his arms and legs.” The doctor explained.

She breathed a sigh of relief as soon as she heard the doctor’s explanation.

“Oh thank God.” She exclaimed.

“How long will his recovery take, doctor?” Maya asked.

“Well, he has stage 1 sprain on his wrist and stage 2 sprain on his ankle. His wrist can heal in about one to three weeks while his ankle can heal in about two to four weeks. He needs complete rest for at least two weeks.” The doctor explained.

“I see. Is he allowed to go home?” Maya continued to ask.

“Yes, we’re preparing some medicines for him to bring home. As soon as they’re ready and the administration is done he can go home.” The doctor said.

“Can we see him?” She quickly asked.

“Of course but please keep it down and we can only allow a maximum of two people in at any one time. We also need someone to take care of the administration.” The doctor said.

“Of course, doctor. We’ll take care of the administration.” Maya nodded.

“Alright. Is there anything else you would like to ask?” The doctor asked, his eyes scanned hers and everyone else’s.

“No, doctor. I think that would be all.” Maya responded.

“Very well. Now if you’ll excuse me.” The doctor nodded then excused himself.

As soon as the doctor was gone Maya turned to her. “I think you can go in first, Aurora.”

“Oh.. yeah. Okay. Don’t you want to see him too?” She asked.

“Yes, but I’m going to take care of the administration first.” Maya replied and she nodded.

“What about the others?” She asked, turning to look at the others.

“You can go in first, Aurora. We’ll go in after you.” Chace said and she nodded.

She took a deep breath and slowly opened the ER door. She found herself standing in the middle among rows and rows of hospital beds, some covered with curtains while some others, the empty ones, were opened.

She wasn’t sure where Sebastian’s bed was but a nurse noticed when she entered the room and recognition flashed in her eyes.

“Over here, Miss Watson.” The nurse said and she guided her towards an area at the very end of the room.

A curtain covered the area and the nurse slowly opened it then beckoned for her to come inside.

“Mr.Stan, Miss Watson is here.” The nurse said, smiling at Sebastian.

She stood next to the nurse then the nurse quickly left them, closing the curtain behind her, leaving her standing by the side of the bed alone.

Relief coursed through her as she looked at him and found his perfect face staring back at her. He stared back at her and for a split second she could see the look of adoration in his eyes but then it was quickly gone and he immediately looked indifferent.

“Hi.” She croaked, her heart plummeted at his reaction but she tried to mask her disappointment.

“Hi.” Sebastian replied, glancing at her for a second then looked down.

She studied his face and thankfully she found no wounds or cuts on them, he just looked tired. Then her eyes scanned his arm. She found some cuts and bruises along his arm and there was a cold compress placed on his right wrist. She couldn’t see his legs because they were covered by a blanket.

“How are you feeling?” She asked, fighting the urge to place her hand on his.

“Like I just fell off a bike.” He chuckled and she laughed.

“The doctor said you have sprains on your wrist and ankle?” She asked.

“Yeah. God, this is going to push back the filming schedule.” He responded, a hint of frustration in his voice.

“Well, your recovery is the number one priority, Sebastian. I’m sure Maya and the others will understand.” She said and for an moment he turned and gazed at her softly but then his mouth turned into a frown and he sighed.

“Yeah, but still. Almost all of the scenes in this movie have me in them. I just hope I can recover quickly.” He said, still with some frustration in his voice.

“I’m sure you can. You just need to rest completely for at least two weeks.”

“Yeah. Definitely not looking forward to that.” He grumbled.

“I’m sorry..” She trailed. Seeing him being upset saddened her and she wished she could do something to make him happy.

He turned to look at her and gazed at her for a moment. “Are you okay? You look like you didn’t sleep all night.”

“Oh! I’m.. fine. I.. umm.. couldn’t sleep last night. It’s not important.” She quickly said. For a split second she thought of asking him about his difference in behavior towards her but she realized it was not the right time.

“Stressed about something?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

“No.. it’s nothing. Like I said, it’s not important.” she brushed it off and he nodded.

“Okay. Where are the others?” He asked.

“Outside in the waiting room.” She replied.

“Oh okay. Could you call them in? I’d like to talk to them.” He requested and once again she felt her heart plummeted.

“Oh, of course. I’ll go and get them.” She nodded.

“Thank you, Aurora.” He smiled softly at her but then quickly turned his eyes away, leaving her with a gaping hole in her chest.

“You’re welcome, Sebastian.” She said then she quickly turned around and opened the curtain, fighting the urge to cry again.

It was clear to her that he didn't want her around and the fact broke her. She wasn't sure what she did wrong. As much as she wanted to be there for him, he didn't want her, so after she called the others to come into the ER she decided to go home. She couldn't deal with the situation.

“Aurora? Where are you going?” Hannah called out after she told the boys that Sebastian wanted to see them and she walked towards the exit of the hospital.

“I forgot that I have an appointment, Hannah. I have to go.” She said as she tried hard to stop herself from crying again.

“Oh. Okay. I thought you would want to accompany Sebastian until he gets home.” Hannah remarked.

“Yeah. He has his friends that can help him with that.” She shrugged. “I'll see you later.”

“Oh, okay. Yeah, I'll see you later Aurora.” Hannah replied, still with a slightly confused look on her face.

She smiled then quickly turned around and exited the hospital.

When she finally got home she couldn't hold back the tears anymore. She ran up towards her room passing Rosa who was cleaning the living room and went straight to the bedroom. She slammed the bedroom door shut and fell on the bed, her face buried on the bed while she sat on the floor. Sebastian's indifferent face kept flashing through her mind and a heavy feeling covered her heart like a blanket.

She had high hopes that with Aurora gone they would get closer. She remembered all the times he gazed at her with admiration in his eyes and how he had made the moves to kiss her several times. Were they all just her imagination? Was she making things up? But Aurora saw it too. Everything changed after Aurora went to jail. Did something happen after that? She couldn't imagine what could cause his difference in behavior towards her.

“Aurora, are you okay?” Rosa called out from behind the bedroom door.

She sniffled and finally stopped crying, wiping the tears from her eyes. 

“I'm.. I'm fine Rosa!” She shouted but her voice shook.

“Can I come in?” Rosa asked.

She didn't answer right away. Then it occurred to her. Rosa knew Aurora and Sebastian before she did. Maybe she could help shed light on the situation. So she stood up and slowly opened the bedroom door and found Rosa, staring at her with her eyebrows furrowed.

“I'm sorry, Aurora. Are you alright?” Rosa asked.

“No.” She shook her head.

“I'm sorry to hear that, Aurora. Is there anything I could do to make you feel better?” Rosa asked.

“As a matter of fact, yes. Come on in, Rosa, I need to ask you something.” She said as she opened the bedroom door wider and Rosa got in.

She guided Rosa to sit across from her on the sofa then took a deep breath. Rosa placed her hand on hers and squeezed it.

“What would you like to ask me, Aurora?” Rosa asked gently.

“I.. I was just wondering. What do you think of Sebastian?” She asked.

“Mr.Stan? What about him?” Rosa asked, her eyebrows raised.

She started telling Rosa about Sebastian's change in behavior towards her. At times throughout her story she thought of letting Rosa know who she really was inside but she didn't want to sound crazy so she ended up not telling her.

“So, am I crazy for thinking that he's been behaving differently towards me?” She asked.

“Oh Aurora, from what you told me, yes, there seems to be a difference in behavior. I can't say for certain because I wasn't there when you met him. But I don't think you're crazy for thinking that. You've known him for about a year now. So I'm sure you would notice if his behavior changed towards you.” Rosa answered.

“Okay. If I'm not crazy then, why though? It seemed like he changed overnight. The last time I saw him, he was still his old self towards me. And then.” She snapped her fingers.

“Just like that, he changed completely. I don't understand.” She sighed, leaning back on the sofa and frowned.

“Well, if my husband starts acting like that towards me, I would think that I probably did something wrong but I didn't realize it. Men are quiet creatures, Aurora. They are conditioned to keep their feelings inside and not express them easily. Unlike us, women. So, maybe you can just ask him. Or, before you ask him, you can try and get into his heart by doing something that can make him happy.” Rosa suggested.

“Oh, that's a really good point, Rosa. But I wonder what can make him happy.” She said as the heaviness in her heart gradually started to be lifted.

“In my experience, food is the way to a man's heart.” Rosa winked.

“Oh okay. That's a good idea.” She smiled.

“Thank you Rosa.” She reached out and hugged her, startling Rosa little.

“Oh you're welcome, Aurora. You know I can help you if you want.” Rosa released her and winked again. She smiled as an idea popped in her mind.

—

Sebastian's injury caused significant changes to the shooting schedule. Her scenes were mostly with Sebastian and Jennifer. Seeing how Sebastian wasn't able to do any filming for two weeks, Maya decided to reschedule all the shoot and put almost every scene that didn't have Sebastian in it to be shot during the two weeks that Sebastian was absent. She was scheduled to do her shoot with Jennifer for the remainder of that week, leaving the following week free for her until Sebastian had recovered.

After listening to Rosa's advice she decided to follow it. So every morning before she went to Universal Studio to do her shoot, she dropped by Sebastian's apartment and gave him a box of gifts and food.

On the first day she put an assortment of pastries Rosa had baked along with her infamous chicken salad sandwich. She also included some of Rosa's healthy smoothies and juices in bottles that he could consume throughout the day. Along with the pastries and smoothies she included a poetry book, 'Vital Signs: Poems of Illness and Healing', a collection of powerful and courageous poems in response to the human experience of illness and healing. She hoped he could find some comfort and strength from reading it. She also wrote a personalized card and wished him to get well soon.

Sebastian texted her later that day, saying thank you to her and asked her to give his thanks to Rosa. She just replied with a simple “You're welcome”. She wasn't sure what else to say.

On the second day she decided to give him a complete healthy breakfast and lunch, all prepared by her and Rosa including her signature buttermilk pancakes but using healthier ingredients and a healthy vegan wrap she thought he would like. She also put in again several bottles of Rosa's juices and smoothies. In addition to the food and drink, this time she added a CD consisting of gentle classical music that is supposed to help someone from dealing with pain. She also wrote another personalized card wishing him to get well soon and wishing him happiness despite everything.

Again, Sebastian texted her later that day to thank her, but he also included a picture of the box consisting of everything she gave him and his face smiling next to it.

She smiled as she saw his face and replied how happy she was to see him smile.

Encouraged by how he reacted, she decided to continue giving him the food and gifts. It became something she had fun planning and doing. She put a lot of thought into what she put in the box, making sure she added food that contained ingredients that she knew was his favorite, like cashews, blueberries, chocolates and peanut butter and of course she also put in other gifts like books, CDs and Blu-ray of movies, knowing he liked to read, listen to music and watch movies.

Everyday after she gave him the treasure box - that was how she liked to refer to them now -  Sebastian always texted her to thank her and she always replied to him back saying she hoped that he could enjoy her gifts and she wished him speedy recovery.

However, that was as far as their communication would go. After she replied to him, he never texted her back. After the sixth day she started to feel rather hopeless. She had hoped Sebastian would respond more by sending her more messages or maybe call her or something. But he did nothing of the sort. Making her wonder again if he really didn't like her. She knew she could ask him about it but somehow she still felt uncomfortable to ask him directly about it.

On that sixth day after she started giving Sebastian his gifts, the private investigators contacted her again, asking for confirmation to her on whether or not she wanted them to continue to track the Gypsy woman down. In her frustration at how Sebastian had reacted, she decided that maybe it was time to start looking for the Gypsy woman again. She realized she and Aurora couldn't possibly stay switched forever, and what was the use of her staying in Aurora's body if Sebastian didn't like her. So she decided to visit Aurora to ask her about it.

—

Century Regional Detention Facility (Lynwood Jail), Lynwood, California - July 25th 2023, 2 pm

The warden opened the door of the prison visiting room, revealing several small booths with windows and phones hanging on the walls by the side of the windows. Several people were sitting in the booths. She decided to sit in one booth the furthest away from other people. 

The window in front of her showed nothing, but moments later Aurora walked in and sat in front of her. Her heart tugged a little as she saw her own body, looking thinner than she had ever seen herself. There were circles under her eyes, and her skin looked pale and dull. 

She picked up the phone on the wall next to her and Aurora did the same.

“Hey, how are you?” She asked.

“Considering the circumstances, miraculously fine.” Aurora snickered.

“How are you? Having fun in my body?” Aurora continued to sneer.

“Yeah. Not so much.” She sighed, making Aurora's eyebrows shot up.

“And why is that?” Aurora asked, leaning closer to the window, her eyes showed deep curiosity.

“It's.. umm.. nothing. Anyway, Aurora, the reason I'm here is that the private investigators contacted me. They said they have a lead on where the Gypsy woman might be but they need five thousand dollars to pursue the lead because she seems to be out of the country.” She explained. She wasn't planning on spilling her feelings to Aurora so she knew she had to cut to the chase.

“Oh.. okay. Interesting.” Aurora said, leaning back on her chair.

“So.. yeah. I just wanted to ask you whether you agree with it or not.” She said.

“Hmm.. I can't tell if you're just stupid or if there's some kind of game you're playing.” Aurora stated, still staring at her curiously.

She sighed.

“Aurora. I just think that it's impossible for us to stay switched forever. So, we do need to find that Gypsy woman so we can switch back. I mean, isn't that what you wanted?” She asked.

“Yes, but I know it's not what you want. Not with you being an actress and getting closer to Seb.. wait.. this is about Seb isn't it?” Aurora said, leaning back towards the window, a gleam in her eyes and her mouth turned up into an evil smile.

“No, it's not about Sebastian.” She lied but Aurora was smarter than she gave her credit for.

“Ha! I knew it! Something must have happened between the two of you and it's not what I feared it was.” Aurora cackled and she took a deep breath.

“Did he dump you? Did he end up not liking you after all? Like he didn't like me all this time?” Aurora asked eagerly.

Aurora's words seemed to switch a lightbulb in her head and she thought she finally figured it out, the reason of Sebastian's behavior towards her! Of course! He must have thought she was still the old Aurora and he didn't like the old Aurora, so that was why he didn't like her either. lt was all the more reason for them to switch back. But of course she couldn't say all that to Aurora.

“Look, Aurora, I just need your permission to give the private investigators five thousand dollars so they can continue to track the Gypsy woman down. I'm not here to talk about Sebastian.” She said sternly.

“Fine. Of course you get my permission. No matter how much money they want, give it to them.” Aurora said.

“Okay. That's all I need to know.” She said and she put the phone back on the wall.

“Wait!” Aurora called out, putting her palm on the window.

She sighed and picked up the phone again.

“What?” She asked coldly.

“Is Paris okay?” Aurora asked.

“She's fine. We did the dog food commercial last week and she had a lot of fun doing it.” She replied and Aurora nodded, a look of relief flashed on her face.

“What about my mom? You're supposed to meet up with her tomorrow.” Aurora asked.

“Yeah, she called me earlier today, she's in Singapore with your cousin so she can't meet you, I mean me.” She answered, feeling kind of sorry for Aurora.

Aurora's face turned sour as soon as she heard her answer. 

“Okay.” Aurora said. Miraculously that was all she said. She was ready to bear witness to Aurora's rage but she seemed strangely calm about it even though she clearly didn't like to hear the information from her.

“Anything else?” She asked.

“No. Thanks.” Aurora replied and her eyebrows shot up. Aurora, thanking her?! That was a first, she noted.

“So you thank people now?” She teased.

“Yeah. Why not.” Aurora shrugged.

“Oookay.. that’s good progress, Aurora.” She smiled and Aurora just rolled her eyes.

“Okay, I guess I'll see you later.” She said and Aurora nodded.

She finally put the phone back on the wall and Aurora did the same. Aurora left her without saying anything else, leaving her somewhat amazed at Aurora's slight change of behavior.

She left the prison Aurora was in and immediately contacted the private investigators, telling them she would transfer the money to them later on that day. Then her mind went to Sebastian. She had a feeling what she thought about him earlier was correct, but of course she wouldn't know for sure unless she asked him. However she wasn't brave enough to ask him directly and she thought that it would seem weird if she did.

Now that the private investigators were going to actively search for the Gypsy woman, she realized she might not have that much time being in Aurora's body. And that meant her time being near Sebastian was also coming to an end.

She couldn't help but feel her heart bleed as she thought about it. She couldn't bear switching back into her own body not having said her goodbye. Because she knew if they switched while Aurora was still in prison, Aurora could tell him where she was and she doubted Sebastian would want to have anything to do with her after that.

So she decided to give him one last gift and pull out all the stops for it. Even if he didn't want to see her again, at least she had given her all in expressing her love for him through the gifts.

For the last treasure box she was going to give him she decided to bake skinny peanut butter and chocolate cupcakes. She knew he loved both, peanut butter and chocolate so why not join them together in what she thought was the best combination. But she also knew Sebastian was watching his diet so she found a healthy recipe using oat flour and brown sugar for the cupcakes as well as Greek yogurt and cream cheese as the base for the creamy frosting. 

The other thing she decided to put into the treasure box was pizza. She decided to try her best to bake a pizza similar to the one from Rubirosa restaurant in NYC, Sebastian's favorite pizza place. She decided to bake the Rubirosa Supreme, which was a pizza with tomatoes, mozzarella, pepperoni, mini meatball and roasted garlic but she substituted some of the ingredients for a healthier version. Rosa helped her of course but she tried to do as much of the cooking as she could, putting all her heart and soul into it, knowing it might be the last time she could express her love for Sebastian.

In addition to the pizza she also included green salad, Rosa's juices and smoothies and she completed it with a bottle of almond Macadamia latte she made herself based on the recipe she learned while she was working at Go Get ‘Em Tiger.

As for the additional gift aside from the food she decided to put a beautiful poem she found from a young poet named Whitney Hanson, and wrote it by hand on a card.

The poem wasn't exactly a love declaration but it was something she had felt about him for a long time. Being his fan for many years she had witnessed him dating different women and sometimes she felt like she could see how some of them didn't make him happy and didn't have his best interest at heart. So there was nothing more that she wished for him than for him to find love with someone who truly loved him for who he was. Someone whom he was truly happy with. Even if that someone was not herself.

It took a while for her to prepare everything so it was almost noon when she was finally ready. 

She arrived at his apartment half an hour later, carrying a large decorated picnic basket. She decided to put everything into a picnic basket as it was easier to carry and could contain more items than regular boxes.

The security officer at his apartment smiled as she approached his desk.

“Miss Watson, I thought you weren't going to come today.” The security officer said.

“Oh, I had a lot to prepare so that's why I'm late.” She said, putting the picnic basket on the desk in front of them.

“Well, Mr.Stan is one lucky man.” He smiled. 

“Oh, that's really nice of you to say that, Michael.” She smiled back.

“Well that's just the truth.” He winked, making her blush a little.

“Anyway, could you give this to him please?” She asked.

“I'm sorry but I can't, Miss Watson.” Michael said.

“Oh? Why is that?” She asked curiously.

“Because he said you should come up and give it to him yourself.” Michael winked and her heart seemed to jump out of her chest.

“He wants me to come up?” She asked, not believing her ears.

“Yes, that's what he told me this morning, Miss Watson. Come, let me take you to the elevator.” Michael smiled then grabbed the picnic basket in one hand from the desk and beckoned for her to come with him towards the elevators.

Michael pushed a button on the wall next to an elevator. The elevator opened and he walked into it with her following behind him. He swiped an access key card onto the elevator panel and pushed the button to the uppermost floor. He gave the picnic basket back to her hand then exited the elevator.

“Thank you Michael!” She said as the elevator door started to close.

“You're welcome, Miss Watson.” Michael saluted her, making her smile.

Once the elevator door was closed she felt her heartbeat rise as the elevator started to ascend. Finally, she could see him again!

The elevator ascended slowly and as it ascended, she could feel her heart pounding even faster in her chest, butterflies flew around in her stomach and her palms started to sweat.

What should I say to him? She pondered as she looked up to see the floor display above her and noticed she was just two floors away from the top.

The elevator dinged and the door slowly opened. She took a deep breath and made a silent prayer in her heart.

Just be yourself. She felt like someone was saying that to her and she nodded. That was good advice, she thought.

She stepped out of the elevator and found herself in Sebastian's sitting room. There was a built-in minimalist bar in front of her and a sitting area with two large light gray sofas and a glass coffee table next to it.

It wasn't the first time that she was there but the penthouse still took her breath away with its European oak flooring, giant marble and limestone walls, and jaw dropping floor-to-ceiling windows that were lined up throughout the penthouse, showcasing an unobstructed view from the Griffith Observatory to the Pacific Ocean. 

“Hello?!” She called out and looked to her left towards the kitchen and living room but she couldn't see him.

She turned to her right and almost dropped the picnic basket in her hand as she saw Sebastian standing in the aisle. Both their jaws dropped as they looked at each other. His hands were holding the only thing that prevented him from being completely naked in front of her, a towel around his waist. 

She closed her eyes immediately but couldn't shake the image of his glorious naked upper body still glistening from the shower he obviously just took and the way his hair dripping wet with water fell beautifully by the side of his perfect eyes.

“I'm sorry, Sebastian! I didn't mean to just barge in.” She said, still closing her eyes and feeling the warmth rising from her neck up to her cheeks.

“It's okay, Aurora.” Sebastian chuckled. 

“Please have a seat, I'm going to put some clothes on and will be right with you.” He continued with a gentle voice. 

“Okay.” She nodded.

Oh how much she missed listening to his voice, she thought as she turned around and opened her eyes. She decided to sit on the nearest sofa and put the picnic basket onto the coffee table.

She realized as she put the picnic basket on the table that she was shaking. She took a deep breath and tried hard to stop the shaking. She wouldn't want to be an embarrassment now that she finally could see him again.

Calm down. Calm down. She closed her eyes and repeated the mantra in her head.

Moments later she could hear gentle footsteps walking towards her so she opened her eyes. Sebastian was walking towards her, wearing just a white t-shirt and shorts. He smiled wide as he looked at her, making her heart skip a beat. She couldn't help but smile widely back at him, feeling like her heart soar from her chest as she saw his bright smile. But then she noticed he was limping as he walked and her smile was immediately gone. She could see his right ankle still swollen but it seemed he wasn't in too much pain, which made her glad.

“I'm sorry, I didn't hear you coming in.” Sebastian said as he finally arrived in front of her and sat on a sofa next to her.

“It's okay, Sebastian. I should have knocked or pressed a bell or something.” She said, blushing again as the image of his half naked body flashed through her mind.

“Yeah, there isn't exactly a bell. Michael was supposed to call through the intercom downstairs but I guess he forgot.” Sebastian shrugged.

“Oh! Yeah, he immediately ushered me into the elevator.” She chuckled.

“Oh okay, I should have known.” He laughed, making her heart warm. 

“So, umm.. how are you feeling?” She asked, looking up at him. She couldn't help but notice how bright he seemed and she wondered why that was, as if a burden had been lifted from his shoulder.

“Good, thank you. My wrist is so much better now. I can freely use it, almost like before I had the sprain.” He replied.

“Oh that's good. I'm happy to hear that.” She smiled.

“Yeah.” He smiled back and gazed at her softly, making her heart skip a beat. 

Her heart soared from her chest as she noticed that this time he didn't look away. He continued to gaze at her with adoration in his eyes, making her heart beat so fast in her chest.

“How's your ankle?” She asked, glancing towards his ankle, trying hard to keep her cool.

“It's still swollen, as you can see. But it doesn't hurt as much. I should use a crutch but it's a pain in the ass you know.”

“Oh yeah, I know.” She commented, remembering the time she had to use crutches to move around after she sprained her ankle during the audition for Pumping Black.

“You've had an ankle sprain before?” He asked.

“Yeah, ankle sprain, broken arm, dislocated shoulder, you name it.” She chuckled and Sebastian smiled although with a slight confusion on his face.

Just then she realized she was talking about herself and not Aurora.

“Funny you never mentioned them to me.” He said, gazing at her curiously.

“Yeah.. well.. they happened a long long time ago. It's not important.” She said, trying to dismiss it.

“Yeah. I guess there are a lot we don't know about each other, despite having been ‘together’ for over a year.” He said, making quotation gestures with his fingers.

“Right, yeah.” She nodded, hoping she wasn't messing things up.

“By the way, I brought something for you.” She said, gesturing towards the picnic basket.

“Oh, right. Wow, a picnic basket? Are you asking me to go on a picnic?” He asked with a glimmer in his eyes.

“Not exactly.” She chuckled. “I just thought it has a bigger space than the usual treasure boxes I gave you, and it looks beautiful too.”

“Yeah, I agree. Although, I wouldn't say no to a nice picnic in a park.” He winked and she could feel her face reddened.

She wasn't sure why but it seemed he was back to his old self again towards her. It made her happy of course but also curious why that was.

“By the way, you call them treasure boxes?” He asked.

“Yeah.. I.. uh.. just thought they kind of are boxes of treasures.” She said, feeling her face getting even redder.

“Well, you're right about that. I really loved them. They truly felt like treasures. I look forward to opening them everyday. And I really appreciate all the thought you have put into each one. I.. uh.. I never knew you paid attention to what food and things I like. Thank you so much for that. I truly appreciate it.” He smiled warmly at her, making her heart swell in her chest.

“Oh, you're welcome, Sebastian. I just… it broke my heart to see you in so much pain after the incident and I just wanted to make you feel happy.” She said and Sebastian gazed at her with complete adoration in his eyes.

“Thank you, Aurora.” He said, reaching out and squeezed her hand. His gentle touch sent shivers down her spine and she froze as they continued to gaze at each other.

“You know you also made my mom happy.” He smiled then broke his gaze at her and released her hand.

“Your mom?” She asked, her eyebrows raised. As she looked at him she noticed how cold her hand felt and wished he had not released his hand from hers. His hand felt perfect on hers.

“Yeah. She stayed with me after the incident. I couldn't use my wrist and I couldn't walk with my ankle like this so I was in a wheelchair and needed some assistance.” He explained and she felt her heart break as she listened to him.

“Oh, Sebastian, it must have been hard on you. I wish you could have told me. I could come and help you too.” She said, her eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, I.. umm.. I didn't want to bother you, Aurora. Besides, you didn't seem to care when I had Covid last year, so..” He shrugged and her eyes widened.

“You had Covid last year?” She asked, dumbfounded.

“Yeah, like.. two months after we met.” He replied. “You don't remember?”

“Oh.. yeah. I'm sorry if I didn't seem to care.” She said as she felt a little angry at Aurora for not caring when Sebastian was sick. No wonder he didn't like her.

“It's fine. I guess you had a different priority back then.” He said and she nodded vigorously.

“Yeah, I did. And I'm really sorry about that.” She repeated.

“It's okay. I mean, we weren't really close back then. So.. “ He trailed and she nodded.

“I guess we weren't. Anyway, is your mom still here?” She asked.

“No, she went back home yesterday evening. My wrist is so much better and I can walk a little even if I still limp. She has some things to do back home so she had to leave.” he explained.

“Well, I'm here now, Sebastian. If you need my help in doing anything, just let me know.” She said. This time she reached out and squeezed his hand.

His face broke into a smile and he placed his other hand on top of hers and squeezed it.

“Thank you, Aurora. I really appreciate it.” He smiled warmly at her.

“You're welcome, Sebastian.” She smiled back, feeling like she was on cloud nine.

Slowly he started to lean towards her and she wondered if he would try to kiss her again. Her heart beat faster in her chest as she waited for him to make the move.

Suddenly a large golden retriever appeared between them, barking loudly. She jumped in surprise as she saw the dog.

“Zander!” Sebastian called out and Zander stopped barking.

“I'm so sorry, Aurora. I guess he's hungry.” Sebastian said as he started to stand up slowly.

“It's okay, Sebastian. Let me help.” She chuckled as she stood up as well. 

She took his hand and put his right arm around her shoulder then circled her left arm around his waist.

“Aurora, I'm heavy. Are you sure you can?” Sebastian protested.

“Don't worry, I can.” She looked up at him and smiled warmly at him, making him smile back.

“Okay.” He nodded.

Slowly she started to guide him to walk towards the kitchen. The move reminded her of how he took care of her after she sprained her ankle and after he accidentally hit her with his car on Mulholland Drive. She was glad she could return the favor somehow.

They finally arrived at the kitchen and he took a seat on one of the stools by the kitchen island.

“Thank you, Aurora.” He smiled.

“Of course.” She smiled back. “So, where is his food?”

“Oh it's at the bottom drawer over there. His bowl should be there as well.” Sebastian said, pointing towards a drawer behind her.

“Okay.” She nodded and she opened the drawer and started preparing the dog food.

“Good boy, Zander. There's a good boy.” She cooed as she finished putting dog food in Zander's bowl and Zander immediately started eating. She knelt beside Zander for a moment and stroked the dog's fur gently then she released him to enjoy his food.

She stood up from her kneeling position and turned around to find Sebastian, staring at her with adoration in his eyes, making her blush.

“Thank you, Aurora.” He smiled.

“You’re welcome, Sebastian.” She smiled.

“So, do you want to show me what you have for me in the picnic basket?” He asked with a twinkle in the corner of his eyes.

“Oh yeah!” She said excitedly.

She went back to the sitting room to pick up the picnic basket and put it onto the kitchen island in front of him.

“So, I know you like pizza from Rubirosa, so I made you the closest pizza to Rubirosa's that I can make.” She said, pulling out the pizza box from inside the picnic basket and opening it.

“Oh my God. I can't believe it! That's like, that's exactly Rubirosa Supreme!” He gushed and his hand immediately reached out to pick up a slice.

She laughed as she saw his reaction and hoped it was as good as it looked.

“Mmm… mmmhmmm.. this is.. even better than Rubirosa.” Sebastian said after he swallowed the pizza and took another bite.

“Really? You're not just saying it to make me happy are you?” She asked and he immediately shook his head while still munching the pizza.

“I assure you.. I'm not lying.” He said as he finally finished his pizza and swallowed.

“I’m glad you like it.” She smiled and he smiled back.

“Okay, what else do you have in there?” He asked eagerly, making her chuckle.

“Well.. I want you to still have your healthy portion of fiber so I brought you garden salad.” She said as she picked up the box with the garden salad in it and gave it to him.

“Oh of course, everyone needs a healthy portion of salad everyday.” He said, smiling as he accepted the salad from her.

“But right now I don't really feel like eating salad. No offense.” He continued.

“None taken.” She laughed.

“Do you have dessert there?” He asked, trying to peek into the picnic basket.

“Well, I do but I need you to drink this first.” She said as she pulled out a bottle of smoothie from the basket and gave it to him.

“Oohhh.. yeah. Let's not forget, Rosa's famous smoothie.” He smiled as he received the bottle from her and opened it.

“Mmm.. so refreshing.” He said after he took a gulp and winked at her, making her chuckle.

“Okay, so.. time for dessert?” He asked and she laughed.

“You have such a sweet tooth, aren't you?” She commented as she reached inside the picnic basket and pulled out the box of cupcakes.

“Yes, guilty as charged.” He said and she laughed again.

“Well, you're gonna love this.” She commented as she slowly opened the box of cupcakes and his face brightened as he saw them.

“Oh.. wow.. that looks absolutely delicious!” He gushed as he reached out and picked up a cupcake.

“And it looks so pretty too.” He commented as he stared at the cupcake in his hand as if he was studying a piece of jewelry.

“Try it.” She smiled and he nodded.

He took a bite and smiled as he chewed it.

“You combined two of my most favorite ingredients for dessert.” He commented after he finished his first bite.

“And the result is?” She asked, teasing him.

“Absolute heaven!” He exclaimed as he took another bite, leaving some frosting on his upper lip, making her laugh.

“What?” He asked.

“You have.. some frosting on your..” She said as she gestured and pointed onto her own upper lip.

“Oh.. right..” He said, his tongue licked his upper lip clean, making her swallow hard as she imagined what it was like to kiss him and had his tongue on hers.

“Aren't you going to try one?” He asked, oblivious to her inappropriate thoughts about him.

“Oh! Yeah. Okay.” She blinked, willing herself to let go of the thoughts in her head and picked up a cupcake.

She took a bite and felt like she was transported to heaven for a moment. The cupcake was moist and soft with the right amount of sweetness and bitterness from the chocolate while the frosting was creamy and absolutely decadent. 

“Mmm.. this is really good.” She commented as she continued to finish her cupcake.

“Right? Didn't you try it before?” He asked.

“Well, I tried them separately, the cupcake and the frosting. I didn't know that it would taste so heavenly when combined.” She commented.

“Well it does taste like heaven.” He smiled.

“I'm glad you like it, Sebastian.” She smiled back at him. 

“Oh I absolutely loved it!” He gushed, making her smile again.

Suddenly he stared at her intently, his eyes traveled to her lips and she felt her breath hitch as he reached out and gently touched the corner of her lips with his index finger.

“You have some frosting there..” He said in a husky voice, making her heart flutter.

He licked the frosting he just cleaned from her lips and she swallowed hard, blushing furiously.

“Th.. thank you.” She stammered.

“You're welcome.” He smiled.

“I.. uh.. have two more things here for you.” She continued, turning away from him, heart beating fast in her chest.

“Oh, okay.” Sebastian nodded.

“I made this one myself. I hope you like it.” She said as she pulled out the bottle of almond Macadamia latte from the picnic basket and gave it to him.

“Oh, what is this?” He asked, receiving the bottle from her.

“Something you like to order at Go Get ‘Em Tiger.” She winked and he smiled.

He opened the bottle and took a sip. “Wow! This is exactly like the one they make at Go Get ‘Em Tiger.”

“Yeah, I.. I found out the recipe from Y/n.” 

“Well that explained it.” He chuckled. “How is Y/n by the way? I haven't seen her since we started shooting.” 

Her heart felt warm as she listened to him. It felt good to know he still cared about her real self.

“Oh, Y/n has.. umm.. a personal thing to deal with. She needed to go to her parents. So..” she replied quickly.

“Oh okay. Hope everything is okay with her and her family.” He commented.

“I think so. Anyway, that was all the food and drink I have for you.” She said as she didn't want the conversation to go too much in her direction.

"But, I have something else for you.” She said, blushing a little as she nervously pulled out the card with the poetry on it.

“Oh, what is that?” Sebastian asked, raising his eyebrows.

“It's.. umm.. a poem. Not by me.” She quickly added and Sebastian nodded.

“I just.. umm.. this is something that I have been wishing for you.” She said, her voice shook a little and Sebastian gazed at her softly.

“Why don't we move to the sofa in the living room where it's more comfortable. You can read me the poem there.” He suggested. 

“Oh yeah, okay.” She immediately stood up, put the card with the poem in her pocket then placed Sebastian’s arm around her shoulder again. She helped him stand up and walk towards the sofa.

“Here we are.” She said as both of them sat down on the sofa and she released his arm from around her shoulder.

“Thank you, Aurora.” Sebastian said, smiling warmly at her as she took a seat a little further from him and turned her face towards him.

“You're welcome, Sebastian.” She smiled back at him.

“So. Whenever you're ready.” Sebastian said and she nodded.

She pulled out the card from her pocket and looked down. She cleared her throat and started reading.

"They say sometimes love starts with a spark

and that might be true

but if I were to wish you a love

I wouldn't wish fire for you

You see fire is powerful

it burns bright then it's gone it's beautiful and warm but it doesn't last long

So instead of wishing you a love that burns

I wish you love like a river that twists and turns

it changes and flows

it is powerful and free

but it consistently finds its way

back to the sea

And so like the water

I hope your love is ever-growing ever-changing

I hope your love is powerful and free

and may you always find each other

like the river finds the sea"

She finished reading and looked up to see Sebastian, gazing at her with his mouth slightly opened and his eyes looking at her in wonder.

Her heart beat so fast in her chest as she gazed at him, waiting for more reaction from him.

“F**k it.” He suddenly said and he leaned close to her and without warning his lips crashed onto hers, startling her.

His hands cupped her face as he continued to kiss her desperately. Fireworks exploded in her chest as their lips meld into each other. Her hands pulled the back of his neck closer and they continued to kiss, with the beautiful Los Angeles skyline as the witness to the start of their love story. A story she never thought she would ever experience.

Chapter 16 >

Taglist

@dhoruwolfie @kandis-mom

[tdoong15]

Can you do 2yeon a parents of twice girl and they give birth to tzuyu and they bring her home and they help their mama take care of their newborn sister

Hello of course I can do this, I hope you enjoy it :)

Baby!Tzuyu, Kids!SaMoJiMiDaChae, Parents!2yeon. Ft Blackpink

Warnings: none

Helping out

“Aunty Nini n’ Jichu, when is mama and mommy comin’ back?” Mina lifts herself onto the couch to try to get away from Chaeyoung who was chasing her with her tiger plushie. “We're not too sure, buddy, hopefully it will be soon.” Jennie smiles reassuringly and Jisoo adds onto Jennie's sentence. “We can always message them if you want to.” Mina's eyes light up and she quickly nods her head. So with that, Jisoo took out her phone and she messaged Jeongyeon.

You: Hey, where are you guys? Your kids, specifically Mina, are wanting for you to come back.

Yoo Beep Beep💚🐶: We're on our way home now, with the newest addition to the family.

You: Oooo, well then see you three soon.

Jisoo looked up from her phone and she saw not only Mina staring at her but also Sana and Momo, which startled her a bit since she felt like she wasn't on her phone for long and within that short time Sana and Momo teleported to her, not in a literal sense though they just moved quickly over to her. “Where are mama and mommy?” Momo questions while Sana attempts to see Jisoo's messages. “They're currently driving back right now so they'll be here at any moment.”Jisoo responds which makes MiSaMo cheer in happiness, in fact Sana jumps off to tell the others.

Meanwhile with Jennie, she was now running around the house because she was being chased by Rosé, Lisa, Dahyun and Chaeyoung. “I thought the teams were meant to be more fair?!” Jennie merely escapes being hit by a flying chipmunk to her head. “It is fair. Nini you're grown up ‘n we awe kids.”Jihyo counteracts since she decided to be the referee for whatever this game was called. Jennie couldn't think of a rebuttal so she just accepted her fate.

As the game was about to start up again, Sana charged through all of them. “Mama and mommy are coming home!” Sana jumps up and down and she points to the front door, while Jihyo, Mina, Dahyun and Chaeyoung were excited, Rosé and Lisa were confused since Jisoo and Jennie were with them. “Haha Wosie ‘n Lili awe silly, it's not Aunty Nini ‘n Chichu.” Dahyun laughs at the faces Lisa and Rosé made which made the duo pout. “We knew dat! We were just… uhh just… testing you!” Lisa responded now with a smug grin on her face.

Thankfully before any arguing could start, the front door started to unlock and when it was open, Nayeon, Jeongyeon and now Tzuyu had appeared. “Hey guys, I know that you're all excited to see us, but we all need to be quiet, your youngest sister is sleeping.” Nayeon says quietly, the girls plus Jennie and Jisoo nod their heads and they let Nayeon and Jeongyeon enter the house before they all crowd around them.

“Aww she's so cute, please send us pictures whenever you feel like it.” Jennie whispers while she takes hold of Lisa's hand, Jisoo doing the same with Rosé. “We'll leave now so you guys can have some well deserved family time.” Jisoo waves goodbye and Rosé copies her mom, they then swiftly leave and Jennie and Lisa followed them once they said goodbye.

Now it was just the nine of them left, the girls got a better view of their youngest sister. “Chaeng, look you're a big sister now.” Jeongyeon mentions which makes Chaeyoung smile widely at the fact that she was no longer the youngest, however, there was a slight feeling of jealousy inside of her because she was used to being the baby out of them all, but her love for her little sister trumped the jealousy.

“As you guys know, this is your baby sister and her name is Tzuyu.” Nayeon whispers since she noticed that Tzuyu was still fast asleep. Despite everyone's attempts to stay quiet, it ultimately failed after 10 minutes since Tzuyu's eyes fluttered open due to the hushed tones all around her, she then looked around to see a whole bunch of people she didn't know so she had a confused and slightly disgusted look on her face. “Why is she lookin’ at us like dat?” Momo asks her mama and mommy. “It's because you're unfamiliar to her since this is the first time you're all meeting her.” Jeongyeon explained and there was a collective sound of ‘Ohhh’ as they all understood what was happening.

For the next couple of minutes Sana, Momo, Jihyo, Mina, Dahyun and Chaeyoung introduced themselves to Tzuyu, who just stared at them with not a single thought behind her eyes, until she saw a dog plushy on the floor, which belonged to Sana. The baby then whines softly and she keeps her eyes on the toy to indicate that she wanted it. Jihyo follows Tzuyu's eyes over towards the toy and she walks over to where the plushy was, picking it up before going back to Tzuyu and giving it to her.

Tzuyu takes the toy and she places the ear into her mouth to suck on it, Sana noticed that Tzuyu had one of her toys and she was about to complain about it when she realized that Tzuyu looked absolutely adorable like that and in that moment an idea popped into her head. “Mommy, can we pway with Tzu?” Sana asks and the other girls also decide that they want to play with Tzuyu too. “Alright then, you guys can play with Tzuyu, but we need to be gentle since she's basically incredibly fragile. Also we can play until dinner is done.” Jeongyeon tells them and they all agree to not play roughly around or with Tzuyu.

So with that in mind, Nayeon left to make dinner for everyone. She decided on cooking pizza since it was quick and easy to prepare. Everyone else was still in the lounge and they decided to play a superhero game with Jeongyeon moving Tzuyu's new toy for her and Tzuyu simply giggled and smiled whenever something interesting happened, in her opinion anyway. After 20 minutes, the pizza was ready and Nayeon sorted out slices so they were as even as possible. She had used two pizzas so people can get more than one slice and they didn't have to argue over the spare slice.

During the time everyone else ate, Nayeon sorted out Tzuyu since she was basically a newborn baby, she had to have something else to fill her up, which meant that Nayeon gave Tzuyu milk to also make her bones stronger. Once Tzuyu had finished her bottle of milk, she yawned which showed that she was about to fall asleep. “We can hewp with Chewy's night woutine. Pwease?” Mina offers to help out because she wanted to bond with Tzuyu more and so did everyone else.

Nayeon found it hard to deny them from helping her out, since it could be beneficial to have some extra hands instead of doing everything by herself or only just with Jeongyeon. “Okay, you can all join me with Tzuyu's bed time.” Nayeon smiles and she goes to go through the routine that she created and used for all of the girls when they were babies since it always worked. However, this time for Tzuyu there were 2 kids at each station to pass things to her. The only difference being when Tzuyu was placed in her crib because Dahyun decided to read Tzuyu a story despite the book being upside down and she was making everything up.

Hi, I hope that everyone has a good day/evening/night. Also sorry for the late upload I basically had a brain fart over the last couple of days.

[aurora-313]

Hi! Hope everything's fine!

I've been reading Black and Blue for a while and it's amazing, but that goes without saying. All your works and takes on Bleach are just perfect 😊. Fun fact? I hear the anime's OSTs while reading. Kaien sure is a badass when the visored theme plays, lol.

My question is: how does the other lieutenants and their 3rd seats, perhaps the younger ones, would look at Kaien? I have this question because I've been wondering specially about Yumichika and Hisagi, for some reason.

(okay, maybe it's because of the ship but that's not the point).

It's just that Yumi has that situation with his shikai and all, and Hisagi... well, honestly I've always looked at him and thought Ichigo with dark hair, so he's a tiny bit similar to Kaien, I think. If you squint.

If there isn't anything about them, please, tell me something about Kaien's trips. Did he met anything in Australia? Australian shinigamis 😂😂😂

Also, Kon thinking Ichigo had a boyfriend at the earlier chapters before Kaien saying he knew who Kon was made me laugh a lot. I could almost picture him holding a pride flag for Ichigo at some point, out of the blue lol. That's number one ally over there.

Wow, I can think of no higher compliment. I'm glad you've been enjoying my writing so much! And I'm glad my work makes you think of the OST, I frequently listen to the 03 anime's OST while writing and use them to sculpt the flow of the my chapters.

As for how the other Lieutenants will react to Kaien; well, canonically his name is still on many lips, even so long after his death. When these Lieutenants find out he's still alive - or came back to life - reactions will be understandably mixed. Aizen already pulled the stunt and tainted the gimmick. Not too hard to accuse him of being a plant to subvert the Gotei 13 (they're right. Just not the way they think, but that's spoilers).

Look at Rangiku. She was initially furious but cooled down after hearing his explanation and easily fell back into their old routine. Renji shit himself for understandable reasons, the others... well, their reactions will come in time. But given Kaien's a Visored now, I imagine that'll add another invisible divide that makes him an 'other' compared to them. First as a prodigal genius, now a Hollowfied Shinigami that they had standing orders to kill on sight until recently.

That being said, Kaien is a Shiba. When have they cared about being an outlier? He'll plow right through it with that bull-headed stubbornness and an easy-going charming smile.

But Hisagi specifically...? I sincerely believe they'd be fast friends, and I think Kaien might even defend him from Matsumoto's batting eyelashes. Plus, ya know, Kensei and Mashiro will be/is Hisagi's Captain and Co-Lieutenant, Kaien will be frequently visiting them and Hisagi will probably get roped into lunches or dinners or whatever they're doing.

As for places Kaien has travelled to: Egypt, Europe, Germany, Italy, Scandinavia, Africa. He's not met any psychopomps per se, but he has seen Valkyries (Scandenavia) and Shamans (Australia) in action.

However, there was an incident with Egyptian Priesthood in the Land of the Dead that Kaien, Kensei and Rose absolutely refuse to talk about, will violently silence anyone who tries and prefers to forget ever happened. The only comment that I'll make about that is the other Visoreds (namely Lisa and Hiyori) never thought they'd hear grown men screaming like little girls.

With Kon thinking Ichigo had a boyfriend because he was wringing his fingers over asking Kaien for help; that was just a one-off gag. A vehicle to get Ichigo and Kaien's conversation started. I wouldn't read anything into it.

Thanks for the ask~! I appreciate it. :D

[pixie-skull]

Ten Characters * Ten Fandoms * Ten Tags

Before I list the most impactful fandoms in my list, a huge shoutout and thank you too @confettipetticoats for tagging me. =D Please go watch her (Non)-Disney crossovers on Youtube as she both so talented and such an awesome pal of mine. :D So I am ranking from 10 to 0 as why not my list, so why not include zero. >:D I tried to choose fandoms I can say I am still a part of, yet not just like, but either been a fan for a long time or the given product means a lot to me.

10. Universal Studios Monsters: Now this a confusing entry as I am not someone who seen all the monster movies, but the impact and the handful of films I have seen from original to remakes, I am a huge fan of. I mean if it was not for my special interest in Mythology as is, this fandom adds to it. Does not hurt most of the bigger or well known monsters have roots in Victorian gothic literature. Favorite monster is hard, as all of them are fun their own way, but I guess my inner psychologist would choose Wolfman/Werewolf.

9. The Simpsons: Yes I agree it dragging on but still one of few shows that my full family and I bonded over, next to select shows that some family members all liked (Bones was very close to being on this list, but I never finished it). It along with other animated shows plus movies made me really want to consider voice acting for a future job. As well, I am not sure why Lisa not featured in the gif below. XD Favorite character though is Apu, plus in the video games, The Simpsons: Hit& Run and The Simpsons: Road Rage.

8. The Addams Family: I only watch the 90's movies and plan watch the original show and animated movies too, but from what I can tell of this fandom, very creepy, spooky, and kooky . XD Sorry too obvious to reference. Favorite characters are tied for the love birds (or bats would that be more in character) Morticia and Gomez. I try to avoid looking up to other people's relationships as everyone is so different, but I can deny these two are what I hope for in a relationship. If not that at least, I adore the just what the two stand for in a couple that is rarely depicted, friends and lovers, who do not settle and hate each other. Sorry but so many relationships especially parents seem to hate each other but stay nice for wanting a family. At a young age this trope I hated.

7. Avatar: The Last Airbender: Such a great show, from world building, character arches, animation, voice acting, and much more. I rarely find myself wishing if I could voice act in something, but this a show that and overall franchise I would be so happy to be a part of. Plus Aang such a well done character and often I do not relate to a character's personality as much I had with him. If from his trying to best to see in others but grows to be selective of who to open up to, being seen as both so young but an old Soul, awkward but willing to laugh at himself, and wants to hear a different point of view or at least learn more of life are few of other traits I can relate to in him. That being said I also can relate to Iroh for similar but in his own way, traits prior. He the supportive, fun, but heartfelt uncle I hope I can be. Yes I am tied between Aang and Iroh. XD

6. Owl House: Yes, a newer product on my list, but can anyone blame me? XD I am still so sad it was short as was, but hopefully come back. It had so much to offer, my newest comfort character is Eda and I am so picky of my comfort characters*, but dang this show you can tell had so much thought and carefully planned, and more. Eda the character I like most from the show too. Yes my biggest ship if Eda x Raine :P .

5. Hellboy: I need to read more these comics, as the movies ugh such a great twist of fantasy, a hero who really wants to do the right thing, but you do not blame him for feeling outcasted by those he protects, and more. Bonus introduced me to my current favorite director, Guillermo del Toro. As well one of my favorite hero quotes of all time. However favorite character goes, Red/H-e-l-lboy.

4. X-Men: I know the movies' timeline is all over the place, the X-Men Evolution Wolverine seems so hated (even though a guilty pleasure of mine), the first two are the best in the full series along a few standouts, but dang it this movie series was and still holds so much meaning to me. I mean the not so subtle message of being yourself and use what makes you different as a power felt even more powerful as when younger I was diagnosed with ASD in elementary school and only found by high school from being told, but prior I felt like a mutant, like I felt so pity (yes I had former friends who only became pals because pity), teased for things like special interests, and more, but these movies made me felt there was at least somewhat others like me. Lastly, for a kid, I respect the beliefs of the leader of the "good" and "bad" were so complex, as simple narratives on morality felt so demeaning as a kid. I mean as I get older (@little-bloodied-angel and I talked about this recently) I really consider Magneto one of the best 'villains' I have watched and read (I need read more comics in general). Bonus this franchise seems so awesome the earlier films had so many people who are in the LGBTQ Community: Anna Paquin (bi woman), Ian McKellen (gay man), Elliot Page (trans man), Alan Cumming (bi man). To be fair the Mutants being a metaphor for those wanting more civil rights or equal rights is well known. Favorite character goes, of late again Magento again just the appeal he more complex and even though violence if can be avoided please do that.

3. 90's Sailor Moon: I am aware such a case of nostalgia goggles on tightly, as I have heard the recent new version more closer to the manga. However the 90's one felt so more fleshed out and bonus the titular character herself one of FEW characters I have ever related to as a kid that was not just comedic relief or a side character. XD Yes I related the awkwardness of Thief from The Thief and the Cobbler, Flower from Bambi (if anything as a trans guy it feels so telling I wanted to liked a guy character who just happens to be comfortable being mistaken as a girl XD). Bonus one of my friends who sees me as found family, we bonded over adoring the 90's version. Favorite character the "protector of love and justice" herself.

2. Disney, mostly the villains fandom: I do adore the heroes/heroines, yet the campy nature of the former hand-drawn villains so great. As well, yes I am not sorry I have a shirt with this design below. >:D In regards which one is my favorite, Maleficent.

1. The Last Unicorn: The animated feature and the book (to be fair I have the graphic novel) both hold such introduction to Mythology for me and the writing (Peter S. Begeal I hope read more of his work) so similar to J.R.R.Tolkien in ways, that it also helped me love the fantasy genre too. Plus the sequel Two Hearts is not required reading but it does add more too. Favorite character is maybe a surprise Schmendrick. I just appreciate his confidence and overall character arch most of the main cast.

0. The Lord of the Rings: Besides the 2001-2003 live action movies, the extended cut too, the books, and the animated movies, this franchise I can not explain enough the impact it has had on me since as far I can remember. As well yes, The Hobbit book, films (including animated movie too) are worth their thanks too. Now in regards of The Rings of Power show on Amazon, I am unsure to watch, yet that is if The Hobbit is a C at best, I worry what that show is at best. Favorite character is so hard to say, but if I had to really choose Pippin (fun fact met the actor Billy Boyd at a comicon once) as he most audience surrogate I had related to growing up.

*= My other comfort characters: Eda and King

Thief:

Psyduck

Cubone

Flower:

I am curious of what: @little-bloodied-angel @impossiblepeggy @airasora @geebs96 @0chaotic-queer0 @thenamelessdoll @jujubee-edits @theevilsquirrelqueen @animagix101and @wardisahi would say are themes in my choices. Plus, your ten fandoms and ten characters you peeps like. Also was unsure mythology counted as a fandom, as if it does that definitely my biggest favorite fandom.

[stillalive19567]

Just this once | JenLisa | Chapter 7

I step inside the house, the quiet wrapping around me like a comforting blanket. A smile creeps onto my face as I realize that Lisa must be out, leaving me with the peace I desperately crave.

But my relief is short-lived. A low moan cuts through the silence, stopping me in my tracks. My heart sinks as I recognize the sound, the unmistakable indication that Lisa is home, and she's not alone. I roll my eyes and let out a defeated sigh, knowing that my brief moment of tranquility has vanished.

I make my way to my room, trying to block out the noise echoing from the other side of the wall. It feels like a curse to be living with someone so reckless and chaotic. I shut the door behind me and plop down at my desk, pulling out my homework in an attempt to drown out everything else.

As I focus on the math problems in front of me, the sounds of laughter and pleasure seep through the walls, becoming a distracting background to my thoughts. I try to concentrate, scribbling equations and formulas, but my mind keeps wandering.

Why does she always have to bring someone home?

I bite my lip, frustration bubbling beneath the surface as I scribble down another answer, only half-focused. It's infuriating. I should be able to enjoy my own space without her drama intruding on my life.

After what feels like an eternity, I finish my homework, but the noise outside hasn't stopped. Instead of feeling accomplished, I'm left feeling restless and irritable. I grab my phone and scroll aimlessly, looking for something — anything — to distract me from the chaos happening just a room away.

But no matter how hard I try, I can't shake off the anger and jealousy brewing inside me. I toss my phone aside and stand up, pacing my room, trying to figure out what to do with myself.

I leave my room, irritation still simmering beneath the surface, and decide to cook dinner. It's a welcome distraction, and the rhythmic chopping of vegetables helps clear my mind. The familiar scents of garlic and spices fill the kitchen, and I focus on creating something delicious.

Just as I'm plating the food, the door swings open, revealing Lisa and the woman from earlier. A smirk tugs at my lips as I watch them enter. I can only imagine what Lisa's been up to.

"The dinner's ready," I announce, trying to sound casual as I turn to face them.

They saunter over to the table, and I can see the confusion on the woman's face when she notices the tension in the air. Lisa, ever so dramatic, puts on a playful pout. "I'm hungry! Come on, give me food."

I roll my eyes but can't help a small grin. "Fine, here's your plate." I slide her food across the table, making sure to emphasize my indifference.

As I serve the extra plate to the woman, she looks up at me curiously. "You're Lisa's older sister, right?"

I watch as Lisa chokes on her water, a sputtering mess. I suppress a laugh, savoring the moment. Leaning back, I pretend to pat Lisa's back with a bit more force than necessary, making a show of my faux concern. "Yeah, I am," I say, trying to keep my voice light.

Lisa shoots me a glare, her eyes narrowing as she tries to regain her composure. I relish the satisfaction of having caught her off guard, and the woman's surprised expression only adds to my amusement.

"Wow, you two really look alike," the woman says, her eyes darting between us.

"Yeah, I guess we do," I reply, keeping my tone nonchalant as I take a seat.

Lisa takes a deep breath, finally managing to swallow the water. "What's for dinner?" she asks, a slight edge in her voice, as if she's trying to regain control of the conversation.

"Just some pasta and salad," I say, deliberately keeping it simple. "Hope you're not too picky."

"Picky? I'm starving," she retorts, digging into her food.

I watch her, noting how the tension from earlier has dissipated somewhat. But I know better than to let my guard down completely. With the woman sitting at the table, I'm not sure what else might come out of this unexpected dinner.

As I take a bite, I can't help but feel a small sense of victory at being the one in control for a change. I glance at Lisa, who's focused on her meal, and then at the woman, who's watching us both with an intrigued expression.

Dinner may be chaotic, but at least for now, I have the upper hand.

As Lisa chokes on her food, a smirk stretches across my face, the moment too perfect to ignore. "What's wrong, Lisa? " I ask, my tone dripping with feigned innocence.

"It's too sour!" she exclaims, her eyes wide in disbelief.

The woman sitting across from us raises an eyebrow, clearly amused. "What nonsense. It's delicious!" she chimes in, taking a bite of her own food, clearly enjoying it. Her approval only makes me feel more smug.

I watch as Lisa's expression shifts when she tries the woman's food. Her eyes widen, and I can see the realization dawning on her—she's been outdone.

When she turns her glare back to me, I can't help but feel a rush of satisfaction. "I'm not eating this," she declares, pushing her plate away.

"Oh, really?" I counter, crossing my arms. "If you don't eat it, I'll just have to tell your mom how you're behaving at home. You wouldn't want her to find out you're refusing to eat your sister's cooking, would you?"

That does the trick. The threat hangs in the air, and I watch as her defiance crumbles. With a dramatic sigh, she reluctantly picks up her fork again, poking at the sour pasta. "Fine," she mutters under her breath. "I'll eat it."

I can't help but smile triumphantly as she begrudgingly takes a bite, her face contorting at the flavor. "See? Not so bad after all," I taunt, enjoying her discomfort.

She shoots me another glare, but I just lean back in my chair, relishing the small victory. Watching her eat the sour food is oddly satisfying, and I can tell the woman is noticing the dynamics at play between us.

"Why are you being so difficult, Lisa?" the woman asks, her tone light as she takes another bite of her food. "Just enjoy it. It's not every day you get to share a meal with your sister."

"Yeah, just enjoy it," I echo, unable to resist adding a bit more fuel to the fire.

Lisa groans but continues to eat, and I can't help but feel a sense of camaraderie with the woman. This is turning out to be a more entertaining evening than I'd anticipated.

The next morning, just as I'm about to leave for college, the woman from last night calls out to me from the living room. "Can you drop me off?" she asks with a smile.

I flash her a grin. "Sure."

Before I can grab my keys, Lisa storms over, blocking the way. "No," she says firmly, "I don't trust her."

Without missing a beat, I reach out and hit the back of her head. "You don't talk to your elder sister like that," I say with mock sternness.

Lisa glares at me, her eyes dark with irritation. I slap her again, lighter this time, but enough to make my point. "And you don't glare either," I add, feeling a strange sense of satisfaction bloom inside me. I can tell by the twitch in her jaw that she's struggling to keep her cool.

God, I'm really starting to enjoy this. She doesn't say anything about me being her fiancée to the woman, and that little detail only makes this situation more entertaining.

I leave with the woman, both of us stepping out into the crisp morning air. The ride to her destination is calm, filled with light conversation that feels oddly natural. When we arrive, I pull into the parking lot and park the car.

"We're here," I say, turning to her with a polite smile.

She leans in closer, a slow smirk spreading across her lips as her hand slides gently across my arm. "You're prettier than Lisa," she whispers, her voice low and suggestive.

I raise an eyebrow, the corners of my mouth curving into a smirk. "I know," I reply, amused by her boldness.

Her hand lingers on my arm, and the air between us shifts, thick with tension. Before I can say anything else, she leans in even further, her touch growing more intimate, her gaze heavy with intent. She's seducing me—playing a game that neither of us wants to stop.

And strangely enough, I don't mind one bit.

Her breath is warm against my skin, and I can feel the anticipation building between us. She's playing her cards carefully, thinking she's the one in control. But I know better.

Her fingers trace along my jawline, deliberate and slow, as if savoring the moment. "Mm-hmm," she hums softly, her lips brushing mine like a promise waiting to be fulfilled.

I let her linger there, teasing her with my silence, my smirk never faltering. "Is that so?" I repeat, my voice low and dripping with amusement.

She leans in further, lips just a breath away, and I catch the flicker of desire in her eyes. But just as she's about to close the distance between us, I pull back slightly, leaving her hanging on the edge.

"Patience," I whisper, savoring the flicker of frustration that flashes across her face.

The game isn't just hers—it's mine too. And I'm going to enjoy every second of it.

As her lips finally connect with mine, it's a fleeting thrill, one that feels more like a game than anything significant. The kiss deepens, and for a moment, we lose ourselves in the heat of the moment.

Before I know it, we're tangled in the backseat, the world outside fading away as we indulge in a spontaneous hookup. It's quick, adrenaline-fueled, and undeniably exhilarating—nothing more than a one-time distraction.

Eventually, we pull away, both of us breathing heavily. I take a moment to gather myself, running a hand through my hair as I regain my composure. She gives me a cheeky wink before sliding out of the car, leaving me with the remnants of a wild encounter.

After shaking off the unexpected thrill, I drive to college, still buzzing from the encounter. As I pull into the parking lot, I grab my phone and call Rosé.

"God, you won't believe what happened!" I exclaim, the excitement bubbling up.

"What is it?" she replies, curious.

"I hooked up with this woman in my car," I say casually. "Just a quick thing, nothing serious."

I continue, "And the wild part? That woman was the same one who slept with Lisa last night. She thought of me as Lisa's sister."

Rosé bursts out laughing. "Oh my God, if Lisa finds out, she'll be furious!"

I can't help but smirk at the thought. "Right? I mean, it's just too perfect. I can already picture her face when she realizes what happened."

"Do you think she'll connect the dots?" Rosé asks, still chuckling.

"Who knows?" I reply with a shrug. "But it'll be fun watching her squirm for a bit."

"Just be careful, Jennie. You know how Lisa can be," she warns, her tone shifting slightly.

"I know, I know," I say, waving off her concern. "But honestly, it's not like I'm doing anything permanent. It was just a one-time thing. No big deal."

Rosé snickers again. "Still, I'd pay to see the look on her face when she finds out. This family drama is getting better by the minute!"

We continue chatting, the thrill of the day's events still fresh, but a part of me can't shake the anticipation of how Lisa will react to this little twist.

[agentem]

Emily’s Final Post About Jessica Jones: “Breaking the Dark” (Marvel Crime #1) by Lisa Jewell

I have posted about this about six times already before and while I was reading the book. I was initially excited. I love Jessica Jones as a character. I liked “Alias” by Brian Michael Bendis a lot, but I really started to identify with her after a sexual assault in my apartment which gave me PTSD. And I think Jessica is a Marvel character who could be a good source of prose novels. She is a PI and there are plenty of PIs in mystery and thriller books. I think the issue with turning superheroes into novels is (duh) you lose the visual aspect. And physical fights and flying and stuff is just cooler visually. But Jessica doesn’t necessarily have to use her powers to do her job, you know? Also women tend to read novels and Jessica is a woman. I see the vision. It all adds up.

Except it doesn’t. Marvel got best-selling British crime novelist Lisa Jewell to write this. I am sure Jewell is a great writer and Marvel was hoping to bring over some of her fans. But I don’t think she has the voice of the angry, PTSD-riddled, foul-mouthed Jessica down. This is supposed to be set towards the end of the run of “Alias” before she transitions into “The Pulse” series (full disclosure: I have not read Pulse). But the Jessica here just seems kind of listless… maybe depressed but not angry or totally damaged.

She is drinking, or wants to drink. Except she has come to believe she is pregnant (spoiler alert: she is). So she stops drinking. And this is… not really the issue I would think it would be since I have had multiple family members struggle with addiction. Like there doesn’t seem to be any physical dependence on alcohol like I would expect. Nor does it really cause any psychological problems like increased anxiety or make her PTSD recur?

Because that would be interesting and this novel can’t really be interesting or it will upset the canon, you know?

Every choice I think is obvious is not touched on. Like there is a serial killer called “The Harlem Vampire” and I thought, well obviously Luke Cage is going to get to punch this guy. Nope. He dies off page of old age. And he’s not a real vampire so Blade can’t show up either! Because that would be fun and we can’t have fun.

I am going to have to spoiler cut now.

Deep sigh.

Basically the book is sort of about Jessica accepting that she is going to have a baby and be a mom even though she isn’t really equipped to be a mom. There isn’t really any tension here because as a comics reader I know she does have a very cute daughter and all is mostly fine. Jessica sees visions of Dani. Does Jessica have some kind of psychic connection with her future child? Does Dani have a time travel ability? We don’t know, it’s never explained. It’s treated like this happens to all moms? And I never had a kid but I don’t think it does.

There are also multiple bad people. There is a formerly immortal witch who can mind control people. She gave up her immortality and most of her power to have a kid. The book treats her more kindly than the other bad female character because of this. And I guess it is selfless to give up immortality and instead give life to another. Except the kid is a real zero and I kind of think the world would’ve been better if she hadn’t?

The other bad female is said son’s girlfriend and she manipulates him, and thus his mother because the mother loves her son so much she can’t tell him she won’t murder people? Idk. The girlfriend has ambition and wants to change the world. I don’t think there is anything wrong with ambition and wanting to change the world. The witch is disgusted with her though because she doesn’t want to have children. Not because her idea of changing the world means kidnapping, murdering and holding people hostage underground to make a beauty app. I really think that is the problem and not the kid stuff. This bitch definitely should not have kids. She is right about that one thing.

My last post about this complained vociferously about how the Witch mind controls Jessica for a time and Killgrave is not mentioned at the time. I will concede that—after the whole plot is done—she goes to a therapy session and connects the two explicitly. But I hate it when we have to sit in a therapy session in a novel. I am a big fan of therapy in real life, but it is boring to in fiction. And I really wish she had made the connection at the time it happened in the story. And maybe she would go to a pub and want to have a drink but can’t. Or maybe she would flip a car and get arrested. What she does is leave the girl she knows is being held hostage and fly back to America.

I had trouble with that. I think about how hard Jessica has tried in subsequent comics to help other women affected by the Purple Man and it just didn’t seem like the same person. Maybe it is a more realistic choice? But it’s not… exciting or awe-inspiring. Nor did I really understand her mental process while it was happening? I feel like this area needed something more.

And then at the big climax, when Jessica has to get to Central Park to confront the bad social influencer lady, she puts her hair up. And I am like, oh cool, she is going to fly. Jessica can fly in Alias. It was retconned as jumping for the TV series, so I was excited. But she doesn’t fly. She runs really fast? That’s kind of a metaphor for the book. I expected Jessica to fly, instead she runs kind of faster than a normal human but not Quicksilver fast or anything.

Also Luke doesn’t punch anyone. I still love him. But initially he says he doesn’t want to have kids because a) he’s a superhero and they’d be in danger and b) he’s Black and the world is cruel to Black kids. These are both valid points. They are not addressed or explored any further. When Jessica does tell him she is pregnant it is fine (which is canon but I would’ve expected some arc for him where he realizes he does want kids).

I don’t know, I am feeling very underwhelmed by this. Maybe the next one (which looks to be Daredevil and not by this writer) will be better, but as the launch of a new series this was a flop for me. I think Lisa Jewell should’ve written a book about the Witch, who she clearly has a lot of sympathy for instead of Jessica.

[jentlemahae]

i read through yesterday's asks and i have two thoughts to add:

i'm not worried about jennie either as she is a stronger vocalist. however she is known to have stamina issues and that has affected her ability to sing live in the past, something that i have literally witnessed multiple times. the longest solo set we have seen her do is 2 songs but it does seem like she has been working on improving her stamina so i have a lot of hope. the superpop performance did have a loud backtrack and she did lip sync but it didn't really matter bcs she was going full out with the choreo, which is exactly what we've been saying lisa should do

i went on a deep dive on lisa performances and i'm kind of more concerned about the livestream audio settings rn. ofc the backtrack is still too loud but i have noticed that for every non-livestreamed performance (aka all her fanmeetings) you can hear her pretty clearly. even in the fancams for the livestreamed performances, you can still hear her. the backtrack volume needs to just right for both the audience AND the livestream or it will all fall apart

1. yeah we haven’t seen her do longer sets by herself yet and we know she hasn’t had the best stamina over the years, that’s why i don’t think we can be sure that she’ll do well BUT! she’s been practicing and improving, and her solo performances so far have been great, so i think there’s reason to be hopeful <3 and besides, she is a very well-rounded idol, so imo there’s less reason to worry with her

2. yes 100% 🙃🙃 and honestly seeing as this has been happening for all of her live-streamed performances, i’m thinking it might be a decision from someone on her team to have a more polished sound recorded on the streams, but we seriously need them to stop :| if her vocals are the issue, let’s get those singing lessons then !! the super loud backtrack that drowns her out is not a good solution , and atp i think it almost hurts her career

[zepskies]

@lamentationsofalonelypotato

Omg thank you, friend!! 🥹❤️ I'm no designer, but I've gotten handier with canva over the past couple years of tumblring loll.

I just want to let you know... this literally had me screaming: YAS! POUR THAT TEA!! Boston Tea Party 2.0!!!

LOLL I'm deadddd 🤣 A1 gif choice 👌🏽

The obvious difference between Sam's description and Eileen's made me cackle- but side note... the wink did it for me too 👀😳

Eileen is a total savage. 😂 And oh yeah, the wink ALWAYS does it 😅

But I really love this reader because reading about how passionate she is for teaching is just so wonderful 🥰 It's always refreshing to read something about someone who loves their job and what they do!

Aw right? The jaded thing can be funny and realistic, but for this character being an elementary school teacher, I wanted her to actually care about the kids and what she does. It takes a special person to work with the little ones 💗💗

*Sweats nervously* 😅 Also I'm in love with the fact that Dean talked her into that second slice of cake.

lolll if he's gonna eat two slices, she could too! 😂

Is it wrong that Dean being a consent king and making sure that she's not afraid of him has me like: Because HOLY GUACAMOLE its um... hot 🥵 But as always the smut was 🔥❤️‍🔥 and I was like:

Oh you're not wrong, it's hot as hell. 🥵 Checking in and making sure he's not taking advantage? 💯❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

ahahaha I'm so glad the spiciness was good for you 😜

Okay so I also really love this reader because she's shy and more conscious and it's so lovely. Love me a shy reader and you're out here inspiring me to write a shy girlie fic and I can't thank you enough 😘

Aww she's cute, huh? ❤️❤️ But he brings out her bold and confident side. 😝

Again coming in strong with the "Sam knows all" trope and I LOVE it. Also... DEAN YOU STINKING IDIOT! SHE LIKED YOU AND YOU DIDN'T CALL HER? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! HOW HARD IS IT TO PICK UP THE PHONE?! Good I hope it hurts. (<-💯💯)

Oh Sam wasn't giving Dean any slack on this one! He done fucked up and he's gonna pay for it in ways he won't expect lmfao...

(also LOVE that Miss Congeniality gif 😂😂)

I am loving the reader's friendship with Sam! Him knowing her so well with Dean and him having blackmail photos... real friendship right there 🤣

Oh for real! I feel like the friends you make in college are the realest ones. 🤣🤣 And I had a feeling you would pick out that detail because that's something you do really well in your fics, shading in those smaller but meaningful character details in their pasts. ❤️

No, no, no Dean. You're with Lisa! Which side note, I love the way you've woven in a lot of the characters into this fic and the lore with Dean's dad being a police officer. This fic is so well thought out and plotted!

Oh that's one of my favorite parts of AUs, figuring out how to add in canon characters in ways that still make sense to the narrative! There are a lot of nods to Smoke Eater with that background info too - in that story John is a homicide detective (partnered with Cas), whereas Sam is a prosecutor and Dean and Benny are both firefighters (Dean being a Truck Lieutenant from the get-go, and Benny being a Squad Captain). It's heavily inspired by my love of Chicago Fire lol. ❤️‍🔥

At the same time I'm also internally screaming because I have no idea how Lisa is going to react to this... but I can guess not well lol. But I loved Sam's reaction. He's such a supportive friend and so considerate and I'm HERE for it!

Oh you're instincts are bang on about that one lmao. But Sam and Dean are real ones about this, from lover to best friend. ❤️‍🩹 Dean's going to mess up a lot in this story, the hopefully understandable aspect of being young and trying to figure out life. But he also tries his best, and he's a good man to his core.

Oh wow so I see how this is going to go. Lisa is going to try and rival Regina George and the reader is going to hold back the all American rage that she justly has, while I'm going to spend the rest of my time reading this fic wanting to fight Lisa. 🤨 Of course when the reader finally does throw down with her, I will stand here and hold her earrings 💅🏻 Maybe while Lisa crams that offer up her hooch she can also find a more sympathetic and helpful attitude rather than being angry about something that she has no business being angry about because it happened 3 months before she started dating Dean and shoving her nose where it doesn't belong 🤷🏻‍♀️ That's just a suggestion, I don't know how much room she has up there given that the stick up her ass must have migrated somewhere else...

Oh yeah, this was my take on Lisa if, without Ben as a maturing factor in her life, she dealt with this situation by being a bit catty and immature herself. She's a particular kind of "nice" mean girl almost on Regina George level. 😭 (Unfortunately I've had experience with the type lol)

You might have a tiny bit more sympathy for her in Part 2, but you also might not, and that's ok. 😆😆 She's a real bitch in this part out of jealousy who needs to shut her mouth and not try to tell a pregnant woman what to do, but the super frustrating part I feel like is that Dean won't know about this behavior, since the reader doesn't want to tell him. ❤️‍🩹 If she had, he probably would've broken up with Lisa right then and there lol.

Do it.

Oh I'm sure she knows and she's very comfortable sniping at a pregnant woman. Which basically tells you everything you need to know about her 😤

YES quite literally. 🙄🙄🙄

Oh my goodness NO SWEETIE! I promise you're not fat, oh my word my heart is breaking for her 😭 Dang it, I saw the warnings about the body insecurity but I still wasn't ready 😢😭

Ooof Lisa really triggered her, didn't she? 😭😭 This part kinda hurt even me to write, but we like how Dean dealt with her insecurity, don't we? 😏

Why don't you shove that right up your hooch LISA?! Or better yet, bend over and the reader will do it for you!

Lmfaooooo right? I would pay to see that. 🤣

Sorry I got heated, but THIS fic is SO good Alex! The internal monologue for the reader had me cackling- she was very witty and awkward and shy and funny and it was AMAZING! I loved it and I can't wait to read the next chapter 🥰

Aww thank you, my lovely!! 🥹🥹 I feel like the shyish awkward ones are the funniest in their own minds/when they get comfortable enough with people to be themselves. 💕

Just to warn you, the next chapter is a rollercoaster of emotion. 😆 But I'm so excited for you to read it! I'm also working on an epilogue that I wasn't expecting to write at first, but it will come out later this month. 💗

Also thank you for feeding us all with super hot smoking (pun intended) firefighter!Dean. The crisp white shirt, the piercing green eyes, the swagger, the leather jacket...

Ahaha you're so very welcome! I loved writing Smoke Eater so it was fun getting to write another firefighter!Dean AU, this time with a younger "early seasons" feeling to Dean -- the one we all fell in love with in season 1. 😏💞💞

IF I STAY - Part 1

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-Sized!Reader

Summary: Your dream is to work with kids as an elementary school teacher. Dean is well on his way to becoming a firefighter, keeping things light and “strings unattached” as he goes. After a one-night stand you never saw coming, you and Dean are forced to deal with the consequences…and figure out if the connection between you is worth fighting for.

AN: Yes, here’s another firefighter AU! Based on a request from one of my lovely Patreon members: @redhoodieone. She requested pretty much all the major beats of this story, so hopefully I did her request justice! This is also partially inspired by Fools Rush In, a beautiful movie with Salma Hayek and Matthew Perry (Rest in Peace, King).

Song Inspo: “I Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis

Word Count: 8.7K

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, thick thirty, hints of body insecurity, but also body appreciation, angst, and hurt/comfort.

❤️‍🔥 If I Stay Masterlist

Part 1: Fools Rush In

Slowly, your eyes slide open into the waking world. Your head is resting on something warm, firm…and a little sweaty. You pick your head up, despite the disorienting, muddy feeling of a slight hangover.

A groan bubbles in your throat. Your gaze travels downward, and you realize that what you’re looking at is more of a who.

Your eyes widen. Oh…my…God…

Not only are you very naked, but your firm pillow is too. It happens to be your best friend’s brother.

Yes, holy fucking shit! You slept with your best friend’s brother.

Biting the inside of your lip, you can’t help but take him in, here in the raw light of day as he lays peacefully on his back. His head lolls to the side on your usual pillow. Your eyes roam over the bow of his lips, the dark eyebrows, lightish brown hair that's softer than it should be between your fingers.

He’s painfully handsome. There’s a slight hesitation in your touch, but you softly trace the cut of his jaw and the stubble spread across it. That roughness feels familiar, and not just under the pads of your fingers, though the thought makes you blush. You begin to remember the night before, almost like a movie reel through your mind… 

Ooooh, right. That’s what happened.

It starts at Sam Winchester’s joint bachelor-bachelorette party at a nice hotel downtown. He and Eileen aren't the "strippers and coke" kind of party couple. They're more the "wine and brie en croute with pickled olives" on the expensive crackers you can't afford—kind of couple.

They look perfectly in love, if a bit long-suffering while Dean gives a hilarious, somewhat inappropriate, but still ultimately heartwarming toast to their happiness. After lowering the glass of champagne from his lips, his gaze catches on yours in the crowd. You suck in a subtle breath. 

Technically you’ve met him already, being one of Eileen’s bridesmaids, but there’s something about his green eyes that pin you to the floor. When he hands over the mic to Lisa Braeden, Eileen’s Maid of Honor, his head turning away from you to offer her a smile breaks the spell. It allows you to breathe.

Dean later finds you by the bar. You’re drinking a rum and coke with your slice of cake, trying not to get a single crumb on your dress. You've put a lot of work into affording it, let alone fitting in it. He leans his elbows casually on the counter and looks over at you.

“Hey, how’s it going?” he nods at you with a smile, subtly taking you in first. Then, his eyes go to your plate. “Ooh, red velvet. Gotta get me some of that.”

You smile back at him. “It’s pretty good.”

“Yeah, looks good in your hand,” he says, adding a teasing wink for good measure.

You don't know why that does it for you, but a half-flattered, half-nervous laugh tumbles out of your mouth. Sam has warned you before about Dean. Apparently his older brother is a bit of a flirt; a ladies’ man.

A man whore, are the words Eileen used.

You’re honestly surprised he’s talking to you when Eileen’s other bridesmaids, Lisa and Jo, are sipping martinis together down at the other end of the bar. Guess they didn’t want cake.

They look beautiful in their lithe, strapless little cocktail dresses. You’ve had to give up chocolate, bread, and cheese for three months straight to fit into this dress, something slinky and red that drapes over your thicker, curvy figure. But you’re proud of the fact that you’re letting yourself eat cake tonight, even though you’ve often felt like Mrs. Doubtfire while standing for pictures next to Lisa and Jo.

They’re Eileen’s friends, not so much your crowd. No matter how much you’ve tried to get to know them while helping the wedding planning in whatever way you can, you still get a high school clique vibe from the women, if with more “polite smiles.” Then they’ll typically go back to talking about crystal centerpieces—or whatever in-depth conversation they were having before you were there. 

But right now, Dean’s focus is on you. When he asks you more about yourself, you tell him about recently earning an elementary education degree.

“Ah, but you already knew that, because Sam told you we graduated college together,” you realize, with warmth tingeing your cheeks. That subject came up pretty quickly when he introduced you to his brother.

Dean’s smile confirms your suspicions, so you just keep filling the silence on reflex.

“Well, I actually just started teaching my first ever semester of second graders. They’re a bit of a handful, but overall, they’re really sweet.” Your smile falters. “Except for this one kid who likes to put little tacks on my chair. He’s kind of a menace, but I think if I bribe him with enough lollipops, he’ll give it a rest. I mean, it’s a behavioral issue and I should probably call his parents. But it's kind of hard to tell them their son is trying to make my ass into a pincushion."

Dean's laugh comes out in a sharp burst, like he wasn't expecting what just came out of your mouth. You didn't either, honestly. You giggle more out of embarrassment, ducking your head.

"He’s in second grade, you know?" you say, in between laughter. "I don't think that little footnote needs to end up on his permanent record. But then there's Micah. He's so friggin' smart. He can read at the fifth grade level already. Can you believe that? And I know I'm not supposed to have favorites, but his grades on his spelling tests get him a spot in the comfy bean bag chair pretty much every Friday. Honestly, I think that's what I like about working with kids. I get to see that spark on their face when something just finally clicks for them. Their little faces get all bright and happy and…ugh. God, I'm sorry. I'm rambling, right?”

You stop yourself with a hand sliding over your mouth, not quite covering your smile of embarrassment.

Dean’s grin just widens, making the corners of his eyes crinkle. 

"It's okay. I kinda like it," he teases.

You duck your head, biting your lip against a groan. He chuckles and reaches out for your hand, earning your nervous glance. He quirks his head.

“Hey, you're passionate about what you do, helping kids. That's nothin' to be ashamed of,” he says, brushing his thumb over your hand. “But sweetheart, I gotta ask. Am I making you nervous or something?”

God, yes, you think, especially at that sweetheart thing. It’s making your heartbeat tick up a syncopated rhythm, but you shake your head, biting the straw of your rum and coke.

“No, not at all,” you say, in a hopefully “breezy” kind of way. You touch your fingers to his wrist. “Tell me about you though. Sam mentioned that you’re a firefighter?”

“Ah, yeah. Firefighter in training,” he says, with a more genuine smile.

He just started at the Fire Academy, and he tells you about all the drills he’s had to learn and all the training he’s had to do to be able to keep up with his classes. You subtly eye him while you sip at your drink, and you notice the crisp cut of his buttoned-down shirt and leather jacket, the definition of muscle across his thighs under the slacks, even while he casually sits.

Your gaze subtly travels down his long bowed legs, smart dress shoes. His cologne is woody and masculine, but not overpowering; maybe bergemot and sandalwood. It pleasantly wafts under your nose every time he gestures with his hands while he talks.

“Aw man, I can’t hold out anymore. I think I need to get me some of that cake before it’s gone,” he says, getting up from his chair.

You’re a bit disappointed that he’s leaving, until he stops short.

“You want another piece?” he offers, gesturing at your empty plate that’s been resting on the counter.

You blink in surprise, but you shake your head. “Oh, no. I probably shouldn’t.”

“Why not? It’s a party,” Dean reasons. His grin is too damn infectious. It has you smiling, and begrudgingly agreeing.

Not only does he bring you more cake, but you watch him eat three whole slices before he asks you to dance.

The rest of it flashes through your mind like strobe lights—the way he’d started small and respectful with his larger hand closed over yours and the other along the curve of your waist. He guided you closer and closer, until you were turned around into his arms, and you could feel his warm breath on your neck.

You felt his lips teasing your skin. Then those hands tantalizingly drifted down your every soft curve, as if showing you a preview of everything he could do to you, and every way he’d make you come apart. You believed him.

And when he whispered in your ear, asking if he could take you home, you let him.

You let him drive you in that big black piece of history he drives. Used to be my dad’s car, he said. A Chevy something. You couldn’t really remember much when his hand was drifting up and down your thigh like that.

His presence burned hot at your back when you two eventually got to the front door of your apartment, your hands just barely shaking as you got the key in. Twist and click—

He waited until you flipped the lights on. Then he turned you around slowly in his arms and pulled you in close, all the while asking you with his eyes and raised brows. This okay? You want this?

“Do I still make you nervous?” he asked, his lips twitching at a smile when yours do.

You nodded, uttering a small giggle. “In a good way.”

That was when he finally kissed you, hot and slow, like he meant to devour you whole. He moaned at the taste of you, at the feel of your ass squeezed in his hands. You clung onto him strong, breathing into his kiss and trying to meet every single demand of his lips.

It soon became a fiery tear to your bedroom, one lamp flicked on, hot breaths and nice clothes crumpled to the floor. You didn’t feel self-conscious even once when he guided you under him on the bed, because he wasted no time in taking you apart, inch by inch.

His lips kissed and licked and sucked a burning trail down your neck, over your collarbone and between your breasts. You felt his hardened length trapped between your bodies while his hands explored you, teasing your breasts and sensitive nipples, and he mapped his way down with his lips.

You explored every part of him you could—every dip of muscle, firm shoulders and the slopes of his back, and then back up to tangle in his hair. Your heated gasps and whimpers filled the room when his sinful mouth found what it was looking for between your legs.

It wasn’t often that you had a strong pair of shoulders to rest your thighs on, but Dean’s grip was hard enough to leave deep fingerprints of pressure on each thigh while he slipped his tongue through your folds and feasted on you.

“D-Dean, oh God,” you gasped. Every sound you made was a sensuous symphony in his ears, washing over his skin and making the well of his desire churn hot in his lower belly. He had to roll his hips into the mattress for some relief for his aching cock, even while he moved his mouth up to your clit, circling the swollen bud with his tongue. He had enough room to slip two fingers deep inside your sopping wet channel, exploring you deeply, stroking and twisting to find what you needed.

Your thighs trembled and squeezed tight on either side of his head. When he sucked your clit tight between his lips, you uttered as gasping moan as that coil snapped its release. Your inner walls fluttered around his fingers. Yours clenched tightly in his hair, threatening to rip out a few strands.

Dean stroked you all through your first orgasm, giving slower licks to your clit. He seemed to sense when you couldn’t handle anymore though. You tugged more sharply on his hair, and he finally pulled away, moving back up your body to gauge your reaction.

You’d collapsed boneless against the bed, but you still managed to smile up at him as you caught your breath.

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked. But his self-satisfied grin almost made you laugh. You took his glistening face between your hands and pulled him down for a grateful kiss.

After a moment to savor your lips, he broke away for a second to catch his breath himself. You stroked his back all the while.

“You know, for a minute down there, I thought you might not let me come back up,” he teased.

You choked on a laugh, covering your face in embarrassment.

“Honestly wouldn’t have minded if you did suffocate me,” he chuckled, accompanied by a slap to your left ass cheek. You squealed, and blushed hotly at the way he was grinning down at you.

“Ready for more, baby? Or you want to call it a night?” he asked. His tone was playful, but it was actually a serious question. You blinked in surprise. You’d never had a guy be this, well…generous, and not expect anything in return, especially not for just a hookup.

But you shook your head and sat up, slipping a hand behind Dean’s neck. After a beat of hesitation, you guided him down to you for a slow, sensuous kiss.

“No, I don’t want to call it a night,” you whispered. Your hand drifted down his bare chest, and lower still. You showed him just how well you could return the favor.

And now, come the morning, you’re blushing down to your neck as each scene flashes through your mind. You feel the ghost of his hands all over your body, and how you’d never quite felt quite as bold and sexy and beautiful with a near stranger as you had with Dean effing Winchester. Your best friend’s brother.

You begin to worry your bottom lip with your teeth. How the hell are you going to tell Sam? Especially after he warned you about exactly this. Plus, there’s a reason you don’t typically do the one-night stand thing, and this has the potential to become something very complicated.

You know what, it’s fine! you think. We’re two consenting adults. We’re both single. And maybe…maybe it could be more than a hookup. Maybe we can see each other again, see where it goes.

“What’re you thinking so hard about?” Dean says, his voice croaking with sleep.

You look down at him in surprise. His eyes have cracked open and he has your hand captive, stopping you from continuing to idly trace patterns on his bare chest. You smile in embarrassment.

“Sorry,” you say. Again, you bite your lower lip. “Um, good morning.”

“Morning, sweetheart,” he grins lazily. “You sure wore me out last night.”

Your smile becomes more genuine, even if you turn your face away somewhat shyly.

“Aw, don’t do that,” Dean says. He slides his hand up your arm and behind your neck, tangling into your already tangled hair when he guides you down to his lips for a kiss. “You were awesome.”

You giggle against his lips. “Really?”

“Hell, yeah,” he says, kissing you again.

You shake your head a little. “You were…”

Amazing. Unbelievable. Probably the best night I’ve ever had.

“Perfect,” you decide. Because it’s the truth. The word comes out of your mouth before you can filter yourself though, making you pause. Dean does too, but after a beat, he slowly smiles.

“Oh yeah?” he asks.

You lick your lips, and you nod. “Definitely.”

“Well, then,” he says. His hand moves down to squeeze your hip. “You down for a repeat performance?”

You smile. “Only if I get a turn.”

Bracing your hands on his chest, you slide your thigh across his lap so you can straddle his hips. Dean grins and goes along with your idea. He gets a nice healthy handful of your thighs and helps settle you on top of him. But first, he reaches over into your nightstand drawer and finds another condom, ripping it open with his teeth.

Just like you did for him last night, you take the packet, as well as his generous length in your hands. You gently stroke him to full mast, smiling pleased at his groan of pleasure. Then you carefully fit the condom over him.

“You’re so gentle with me,” he teases. 

“Just returning the favor,” you quip, just before you position him at your wet entrance. Slowly, you sink down over his cock.

You both moan at the feeling of him stretching you again, warm and thick and fitting perfectly nestled deep inside. There had been moments last night where he wasn’t all that gentle, actually, but his passion had only spurred yours on more. You know you’ll probably find fingerprint marks on your thighs and ass, but it’s fucking worth it, you think, as you begin to bob a rocking rhythm that serves you both.

Dean arches his back underneath you, his knees coming up to press against your ass.

“Goddamn, baby. Givin’ me quite a show,” he says, in a panting voice that’s deep as sin.

You utter a breathy laugh.

Dean means it though. He’s enjoying the way you brush your hair out of your face, your beautiful tits in his face while you truly let loose for him. He guides you by the stronghold he has on your hips, his fingers pressing into your soft flesh as he ruts up into you, meeting your thrusts.

Your breath quickens, your nails digging into his chest on reflex, and your heart races as that delicious pleasure builds. But when Dean snakes a hand between you and further parts your folds to massage tight circles over your clit, your vision flashes white. You utter a scream of pleasure on his name, your inner walls choking him tight as you throb around his cock. His release hits him like a goddamn freight train.

“Aw, fuck,” he grunts.

He slams your hips down hard, making your thighs slap against his. A ragged groan escapes him in a rush. His hands move to your thighs just under your ass, where his fingers press into flesh hard enough to leave forensic ID, giving him leverage to bury himself deep into your pussy as he spills a hot release into the condom.

Goddamn…

He can almost imagine that he’s coming free inside you, that you’re milking his cock for every drop, until there’s nothing left for him to give.

The thought surprises him. It almost takes him out of the moment, honestly. That’s not a thought he’s ever had before—not with a woman he barely knows (which is most of his hookups, if he’s honest).

In that delicious, fractious moment just after it hits, it’s like those few seconds are suspended in zero gravity. Your arms are shaking, and your forced to collapse against his chest. Dean welcomes you there for a little while, letting you come down while he smooths a hand over your hair.

Though he can't help the urge to let his big hand drift down over your dewy skin, down the gentle slope of your back and over the curve of your generous ass. He gives one cheek a teasing slap. The sound echoes in the room.

"Goddamn perfect ass," he says roughly, smirking at your squeal. You end up grinning hard against his neck.

"'S that my new nickname?" you quip.

He chuckles deeply, moving you along with his chest. "Hell, sweetheart, if you want it to be."

Eventually, you lean back to give him a smile and one last kiss before you pull away from him. You slip off his lap to find your robe, at least. You definitely need a shower.

“So I’m thinking, after we get cleaned up, I could make us some breakfast,” you offer. “Or if you want, maybe we could go somewhere. I know a little diner down the block.”

“I like the sound of food,” Dean agrees with a smile. Ge reaches over for his phone on the nightstand, to check the time. His eyes widen. “Oh, shit.”

He has to get his ass over to the Fire Academy. He has class in barely twenty minutes.

He tears out of bed and nearly trips on the coiled sheets.

“Sorry. Gonna need to take a raincheck,” he says. He hurries to find his clothes strewn all over your bedside floor.

“What’s the matter?” you ask with wide eyes. You cross your arms under your breasts, but it’s more like you’re hugging yourself over your robe. You watch him tear through your bedroom in a tempest of movement.

Dean spares you a glance, but not much else as he yanks up his slacks and belt and dress shirt.

“Gotta get to class,” he confesses. Thank God he has his uniform in the trunk of his car for exactly these kinds of emergencies. He grabs his phone, wallet, and keys, and quickly kisses you on the cheek. He gazes down at you apologetically. “Sorry I gotta cut and run, sweetheart, but it’s been fun.”

Your smile barely reaches your eyes. He’s pressed for time, but he still notices.

He slows himself down and cups your cheek. “Hey.”

He gets your pretty eyes looking up at him, and he gives you a real kiss, nice and slow. He cradles your cheek and brushes his thumb across your skin.

“Thanks,” he says. His now familiar grin manages to make you smile. “And I mean that.”

You shake your head at him. “Okay go, Mr. Future Fireman. Be safe out there, okay?”

He gives you a playful salute. “Yes, ma’am.”

You can’t help but laugh. This guy’s too much. But you don't think you've had this much fun having sex in...

All right, let's not put a timeframe on it.

You watch him leave your apartment, even though you have a sinking feeling in your chest. You knew this was just a hookup for him, for both of you. Part of you just couldn’t help hoping that it could’ve led to something more. 

Dean means to call you.

He really does.

After that truly awesome, you shook me all night long, kind of a night, he thinks about you more than he’d like to admit over the next few weeks. However, he finds himself locked into his training. He’s so close to finishing strong and earning his badge, he just can’t afford any more distractions.

Still, he should’ve known that Sam would find out—either through Eileen, or through you directly. He also should’ve expected the way his brother let him have it.

“And you didn’t even fucking call her. See? This is why I don’t set you up with any of my friends anymore,” Sam bitches at him from his side of the small two-seater dinner table. They still share an apartment, though in just a month and a half, Sam’s going to be moving out. He and Eileen already found a house that they’re moving into after the wedding.

“Look, I was going to call her, man. They’ve just been bustin’ my ass at the Academy!” Dean argues.

“Bullshit.” Sam levels him with the same finger that holds his beer.

Dean’s brows raise, high and annoyed. “Oh, really?”

“Yeah, I’m calling bullshit. Because if you really liked her, respected her, and respected me, you would’ve made the time,” Sam says.

That falls heavy between the brothers for a moment while they eat their pizza.

“Look, I know her. She doesn’t do hookups that often, which means…she probably liked you,” Sam adds. “And honestly, when are you going to give it a real try with someone? You can only visit that free clinic so many times.”

Dean shoots him a glare. He’s had a clean bill of health from said clinic for six months straight.

“Jesus Christ. Enough, all right?” he grouses. “What’re you, Mom?”

“I’m just saying,” Sam says, lowering his crust to the plate. He levels his brother with a more earnest look, lightening up from his anger. “Look, if it’s about what happened to Dad—”

“What, you mean the way he drank himself to death after Mom died?” Dean says. His voice cuts through whatever softball glove Sam is trying to handle him with. “You think that’s the kind of thing I should be looking for in my life?”

“Oh, and what, do you think I’m making a mistake marrying Eileen?” Sam counters.

Dean sighs, shaking his head. “Damn it, don’t put words in my mouth. That’s not what I’m saying, it’s just…I don’t know. Maybe that kind of life—the house, the wife, the 2.5 kids and the dog. Maybe that’s just not my life, okay?”

Sam gives him a long look. He lets go of a deep breath, and he shrugs.

“Okay,” he says. “If you think hooking up night after night for the rest of your life is going to make you happy, then fine.”

Dean nods, glad that they can put an end to this little After School Special.

“Okay.”

Still, he can’t finish his third slice of pizza. He keeps picturing your face when he left you that morning. No matter how you tried to hide it, he still saw the tinge of disappointment in your eyes. It brews something uncomfortable in his stomach, and a sting in his chest.

You’re eating lunch alone in your classroom, finally on your break, when an unfamiliar number flashes across your phone screen. You look down at it in confusion, but with all the caterers and florists and things you’ve helped Eileen with on the wedding, you figure it could be important. You pick up the call and greet whoever’s on the line.

“Hey, sweetheart. How are you?”

You drop your ham and cheese on your keyboard, gaping in surprise.

“Dean?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” he chuckles slightly. “Sorry, I know it’s been a minute.”

You frown, because you’re confused more than anything.

“Yeah, like almost a month,” you reply. You put the call on speaker so you can grab up your sandwich and quickly brush off the crumbs from your keyboard. You struggle to say something cool, clever, sexy even. “I’m okay. Just, um…what’s up?”

Smooth, real smooth. You cover your eyes with your hand.

“Nothin’, I was just thinking of that night,” he says. “I had a good time.”

Your frown deepens, despite the beginning of a blush warming your cheeks. If he’s calling you just for another hookup…

“So I just thought maybe you and I could do something again. Maybe you wanna come over my place this time.”

And there it is. You deflate at his words, shoulders sagging. The "convenient booty call" proposition.

“I could make us some burgers, toss in a couple of beers and a movie night,” he adds.

That part throws you though, you’re not going to lie. What, is this a Netflix and chill situation—with a side of fries?

You consider it. You weigh pros and cons at a frightening speed in your mind, almost like Sherlock Holmes contemplating the layout of a dead body and deducing within moments that his wife committed the murder, despite the man no longer wearing a ring.

You want to let yourself be bold and spontaneous and carefree...but it's just not who you are at your core. You're a planner, a cautious person who looks three ways before crossing the street. Letting Dean take you home that night was certainly one of the most spontaneous, wild things you've done since your friends took you out to a strip club after you aced your final round of exams back in college.

(Sam hadn't been there that night, but he did get an embarrassing drunken text from you at 3:00 a.m., along with a few shame-ridden pictures fueled by questionable substances. Yes, he still had the evidence.)

You just don't know if it's smart to let yourself hookup with Dean again. Mostly because you know your heart has the tendency to get attached, no matter how much you warn it not to.

“You know, Dean, I’m pretty busy with my job right now. I just started here a couple of months ago, and I think I just need to focus on that right now,” you say. Part of it isn’t a lie, even though your soft heart is stinging.

“Ah, okay. Yeah. I get that,” he says. You hear his disappointment too. “But I just need to say, I really am sorry for not calling you sooner.”

Your lips tug at a smile. “It’s okay, Dean. Look, you’re Sam’s brother. I just feel like, maybe it’s better if you and I stay friends.”

“Friends, huh?” Dean says wryly. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I don’t have three rounds of steamy hot sex with any of my friends.”

Your blush comes swiftly again, burning in your cheeks.

“Be that as it may,” you say, “I just don’t want to do anything that will distract from Sam and Eileen’s wedding.”

“Oh, I’m a distraction, huh?” Dean says flirtatiously. 

You begin to smile in earnest. “I think you know damn well what you are, Dean Winchester.”

His deep chuckle practically resonates through the phone and into your chest, going straight down to your pussy. You clench on nothing just at the sound of his voice, making you cross your legs under your skirt. Dear God…

How are you supposed to be even remotely normal around this man now? 

But for Sam’s sake (and your own), you’ll have to try. 

Two months later, Dean has taken Sam’s dating advice to heart. A week or so after you turned him down, he ran into Lisa Braeden, Eileen’s Maid of Honor, while he was at the grocery store buying beer and Twizzlers. She was a smart, sharp, sexy brunette. A yoga instructor, he soon found out. So he took a chance on asking her out. They’ve been going slow and steady ever since. 

Dean hasn’t heard from you since the rehearsal dinner, but he sees you again at his brother’s wedding. All the bridesmaids are wearing long, royal blue dresses that drape off the shoulders and hug the bust and waist, flaring gently at the skirt. Lisa and Jo wear it beautifully, their hair perfectly smooth and coiled. 

But when you step out into the hall outside the church ballroom to join them, Dean actually pauses in what he’s saying to his brother. He nearly double takes when you enter his line of vision—mostly because he hasn’t seen you in a dress since that night. You were sexy as hell then, a lady in red. 

Today, you’re absolutely stunning. 

After greeting Sam with a warm hug, you turn to him with a nervous kind of smile. “H-Hey, Dean.”

With that, he snaps out of it. Dean smiles, eyes crinkling, and goes over to give you a hug as well.

“Good to see you,” he says, trying not to inhale too much of your nice perfume. It’s even in your hair.

“You too,” you reply. Your smile is a little brighter, more genuine. Though there’s something behind your eyes that he can’t quite place.

What he doesn’t notice is the way Lisa is watching you and her boyfriend, a hint of suspicion on her face.

You do though. You pull away from Dean and assemble into a line with Lisa at the helm. As the Best Man, Dean stands with her, followed by Jo and Brady, another one of Sam’s buddies. You and Benny bring up the rear. Benny’s dad used to work with John, Sam and Dean’s father, on the police force.

According to Sam, John Winchester worked a beat for twenty-six years before his liver finally gave out on him. Dean almost went to the Police Academy to follow in his dad’s footsteps, but Benny, already working his way up to Lieutenant, suggested Dean become a smoke eater instead. The suggestion stuck.

Benny Lafitte is slightly shorter than Dean, but just as broad-shouldered, his auburn beard neatly trimmed. Even though you might’ve thought he was rough around the edges at first, his kind blue eyes spoke the contrary. He offers you his arm like a gentleman.

“Well aren't I lucky, getting the prettiest girl on my arm,” he says, with a charming smile.

You smile, and even begin to blush at the way he subtly takes note of you from head to toe.

“Well, thank you. You’re very handsome yourself. Although, hold on.” You slip your arm out of his for a moment so that you can fix his tie. It’s slightly crooked. You make sure that it lays flat under his collar, smoothing down all the edges and picking off any small dust particles that landed on his collar. Benny watches you with an indulgent smile.

“Am I good?” he asks.

“Very,” you reply.

“I appreciate it, thank you,” he says. You don’t know if he means to sound flirtatious, but his voice is a deep drawl that washes over you pleasantly. You find yourself blushing down to your neck as you slip your arm back around his.

You also don’t notice how Dean glances at you and Benny over his shoulder.

As much as you love Sam and Eileen, it’s difficult for you to keep your mind from spinning into fractals as the ceremony goes on. You can’t help but glance at Dean. He stands there behind Sam dutifully, but you see brotherly pride in Dean’s eyes, in his smile. It makes you smile too. You too love Sam like a brother, and it brings a well of happy tears to your eyes to watch him have his moment with his new wife.

It just also reminds you of what you need to do.

After the ceremony ends and the bridal party files out behind the bride and groom, you excuse yourself from Benny apologetically. You wait until Lisa and Jo go off to take pictures with Sam and Eileen, and you grab Dean’s wrist, pulling him aside.

“I need to talk to you,” you whisper.

Dean gives you a confused look. “They’re gonna need us for the pictures.”

“I know, but this is important,” you say. Your voice trembles with nerves, and so do your hands. Dean notices, frowning in concern. He grasps your arm to try and steady you.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Just come with me,” you implore him. You take his hand and lead him into the women’s dressing room attached to the church sanctuary you all just came out of.

Dean raises his brows at the mess you and the rest of the bridesmaids have made of the room—pantyhose and makeup and clothing litter the floor and most available surfaces, while leftover breakfast sandwiches, grapes, salami, and cheddar cheese cubes are splayed out across one of the vanity counters. Dean is tempted to steal a morsel, but he focuses on you first.

You close and lock the door, which makes his brows raise high again. You know he has a girlfriend now, right?

“Uhh, look, I’m not sure what’s going on here, but—”

You heave a sigh. Again, you take his hand and guide him to sit with you at the vanity. The old stools squeak, the overhead lights a bit too bright. This is not where you want to do this, but you can’t hold it in anymore.

“Dean, I’m pregnant,” you confess.

He freezes. His breath stills in his lungs. His eyes slowly widen as the words click in his brain.

“What?” His head tilts, as if he didn’t hear you right.

You squeeze his hand; to ground him or yourself, you’re not sure.

“I’m about two months pregnant. I found out last week.”

Dean swipes his free hand over his mouth while he tries to compute. He squeezes your hand, tighter and tighter. He points to himself.

“It’s…it’s me? It’s mine?”

You give him a weary smile. “You’re the only one I’ve been with in the last few months. It could only be you.”

Oh fuck. The man’s face begins to pale as he descends into shock.

“But we…I used a condom,” he reasons. “All the—all the times!”

You bite your lip. If you weren’t freaking the fuck out yourself, you’d probably be laughing right now. Granted, you’ve had a bit more time to process this than Dean.

“I know, I was there,” you reply, releasing yet another sigh. “One of them probably broke. That’s all I can think of… Honestly, Dean, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I just didn’t want to disrupt the ceremony or cause a scene before the wedding. But now you know.”

Dean falls silent then. He hasn’t let go of your hand, which you think is a decent sign. He’s likely forgotten that you’re still holding it as he stares off into the middle distance for several seconds.

Eventually, he shakes his head and returns his gaze to yours. He looks uncertain, his handsome face the true epitome of holy fucking shit.

You know the feeling.

But he asks the most important question.

“What do you want to do?”

Briefly you close your eyes as you take a breath. You squeeze his hand before you let go of him.

“I’ve thought about this a lot, and…I’m keeping the baby,” you tell him, though you raise placating hands. “I don’t want money, or anything like that. I just wanted you to know that it’s yours. How much you want to be in his or—or her life, that’s up to you.”

Dean takes a beat before he answers, but you don’t have to wait so long holding your breath.

“Okay. Okay, yeah. I’ll help you. Don’t worry,” he says.

And just like that, all the time you spent giving yourself pep talks for this, telling yourself that you’ll need to be strong no matter what he says, all of it crumbles into relief. Your lower lip trembles, and your body shudders as you break into tears. You try covering your face to hide your shame, but Dean grasps your shoulders.

“Hey, hey. It’s all right,” he says. He tentatively pulls you into a hug. “It’s gonna be okay.”

You nod into his dress shirt, probably staining him with your running makeup.

“Thank you,” you whisper. “Thank you so much.”

He holds you a bit tighter in response.

You and Dean agree to keep this to yourselves for now, at least until Sam and Eileen get back from their honeymoon. It’s difficult to explain why your eyes are all red and your makeup is smudged, but you promise Sam that you’ll tell him later. You know it’s pointless to lie to him though. As a lawyer, his bullshit meter is far too high.

However, you also know that he’s half guessed it by the time you all make it to the reception. When you and Dean came out of that dressing room to join the bridal party for pictures, you're sure that you looked emotionally wrecked. Dean had looked pale as a sheet, his body coiled and tense, as willing himself to seem normal. Sam had clocked both of you with a raise of his brow, but he didn't say anything then, especially after you gave him a pleading look.

While Eileen greets her family without him for a moment, Sam pulls you aside. He notes your glass of diet coke, in a moderate sea of guests drinking champagne and cocktails.

“Are you okay?” he asks knowingly.

Tears well up in your eyes again. You don’t know if it’s your damn hormones going haywire, or just the way Sam asks you, with the love of a friend in his eyes. He squeezes your shoulder gently, prompting you with your name.

“Yeah, I think I will be,” you say.

"Is it the same reason you're not drinking?" he asks. "You and Dean earlier..."

You hesitantly confirm with a nod. Sam blows out a harsh sigh, raising folded hands to his mouth as he processes. You begin to look around on reflex, trying to see if anyone's watching you and Sam have this conversation in the middle of the reception. To your relief, everyone around you seems occupied with drinks, hours d'oeuvres and conversation.

“What did he say when you told him?” Sam asks. His gaze is firmer. You get the idea that if he doesn’t like what you tell him, then he’s about to go grab his brother by the ear himself.

You grab his wrist and give a placating squeeze. “He said he's going to help me, be there for me.”

“Damn right. So will I,” Sam nods, and glances back at Eileen, his new bride, with a smile. “We both will.”

“I know,” you nod as well. “I’ll be okay, Sam. You don’t have to worry so much. Just enjoy your wedding day. It’s the only one you’re gonna get. Well, you know…hopefully.”

You tease him with a wink.

Sam laughs, cupping your cheek. He kisses your other cheek.

“I love you, you know that right?” he says.

You give him a trembling smile through your tears.

Meanwhile, Dean has a beautiful woman in his arms. He turns Lisa on the dancefloor, trying not to trip on his own dress shoes, all the while knowing that his brain isn’t here in his body. It’s across the ballroom, watching you talk to Sam. Dean can tell that he knows, just in his Big Bird body language. He’d also recognize that accompanying Bitch Face anywhere.

“Dean, what’s wrong,” Lisa asks him, and not for the first time. She’s getting annoyed, he can tell. She finally looks over to where he keeps glancing, and she notices you with a frown. It’s also not the first time she’s caught him staring at you tonight.

“What was that earlier in the dressing room? She didn’t really get food poisoning, did she?” she asks pointedly. “What, did you two used to date or something?”

He gives a wan smile. “Yeah, kinda. We…had a thing once.”

“What kind of thing?”

Dean closes his eyes and tries to keep himself calm. He’s pretty sure if he tells her the truth right now, she’s going to find the nearest cocktail and dump it over his head.

But shit, here it goes.

“Well…”

After a long day at school, you drive over to Dean’s apartment. You’d agreed to meet there and wait for him to get off his shift at Firehouse 83, where he just started as a full-fledged firefighter on probation. When he gets home, he’s supposed to go with you to an important appointment with your OB-GYN. 

You were hoping he’d already be done with work by the time you got to his place, but Lisa's there to open the door for you. Apparently, he’d already given her a key.

Moving kind of fast, but okay, you think. A second later, you could’ve rolled your eyes at yourself. Pot, kettle, me. Got it.

Lisa greets you with a “polite” smile at best, but she does offer you water at least. You really can’t blame her for not liking you though. She found out her boyfriend got another woman pregnant right before he started dating her. Really, she has more balls than you for staying with him. You wouldn't put it past Dean to somehow have smooth-talked her into giving him a chance.

Or she really loves him. The thought sobers you as you lower yourself down to the couch beside her. Both of you sit there in silence for a moment, trying to figure out something to talk about.

“So, you’re what, six months pregnant?” she asks.

You correct her in thinly veiled annoyance. “Three months, actually.”

“Oh, wow. I’m sorry,” she says. “I don’t know why I thought it was six.”

You have a feeling her awkward chuckle is fake, however. She knew good and damn well that you’re not six months pregnant. In her eyes, you must be the size of a parade float. 

“If you want, I can recommend a holistic diet to help you get your body back after the baby’s born,” Lisa offers. “No pills, no chemicals. Just good clean weight loss.”

You feign interest. Honestly, you’d like her to cram that offer right up her hooch.

“I can even give you a discount if you want to try out yoga,” she says. “It’s low impact, but you burn plenty of calories. I have a beginner’s class, not too strenuous. Even my least flexible clients manage to do the poses.”

Is that why Dean likes you? Because you’re bendy? Bet if I sat on you, you’d pop like a fucking balloon.

You hide all of these thoughts behind a “polite” smile of your own.

“That’s really nice of you, thanks,” you reply. It’s non-committal enough, but hopefully it’ll get her off your back.

No such luck.

“You know, maintaining a healthy diet is really important for the baby’s health too,” Lisa adds. “It’s not just about avoided raw fish and dairy products. Oh, and processed food is obviously a no-go. Like, I’m sure you haven’t been hitting Taco Bell and all that stuff, right?”

As a matter of fact, you’ve been eating clean since long before you got pregnant. Not that it’s any business of hers whether you enjoy the occasional quesadilla or not.

Your temper snaps at its leash. You open your mouth to reply, when the front door unlocks and opens to Dean, stepping in through the threshold.

Thank God, you and Lisa both think. She gets up quicker from the couch than you, greeting her boyfriend with a kiss. You avert your gaze while you begin to get up yourself.

Dean reaches out to help you, grasping your arm in support. You shoot him a smile.

“I can still get up by myself,” you snip.

“Yeah, all right. Just in case,” he says with a smile. “Ready to go?”

“Oh, yeah. Let’s rock and roll,” you say, trying to hide your worsening mood. You’re exhausted, and irritated, and probably more than a little hangry. Except now, the idea of food just has you feeling guilty for even being hungry.

“Bye, hun. Hope you have a good appointment,” Lisa says, giving your shoulder a pat. You give her the most genuine smile you can muster as you thank her. It's possibly that she's one of those women who don't realize when they're being cunty, but you find it highly unlikely. She's too smart for that.

You follow Dean out the door and over to his car, big and black and sleek as you remember. You settle into the passenger seat with your arms crossed in silence. Dean switches the cassette to one of his favorite Led Zeppelin albums, though he notices your grumpy face.

“Something wrong?” he asks.

You give him some side-eye, but you’re reluctant to say anything. You just shake your head. As irritated as you are, you don’t want to be the friend who badmouths his girlfriend.

God, are we even friends? You wonder. Or am I just his knocked-up baby momma?

And again, you realize that this whole situation is probably hard for Lisa. You just don’t know if she’s jealous, or if she just…doesn’t like you.

“I’m okay,” you tell Dean.

He raises a skeptical brow. Looks like Sam isn’t the only one with a finely tuned bullshit meter.

“All right, how about this,” Dean says. “Let’s grab some burgers after this, huh? From your favorite spot. Shake Shack, right? Side of fries, frozen yogurt. I think I’ll get chocolate this time… Hmm, I doubt Lisa will want anything. She’s gone on an all-vegan kick or something.”

For one shining moment, you were happy and touched at his consideration. But now your body stills in your seat when you remember Lisa’s words. Tears well up in your eyes with a hot sting, and a sob escapes your throat.

Dean is cut off from thinking about getting extra bacon on his burger. He looks over at you in alarm. “H-Hey, what’s the matter?”

You scoff at him through your tears. “Are you kidding me? I can’t eat burgers anymore, Dean. I was already fucking fat. Now it’s just gonna get ridiculous.”

“What?” Dean’s brows knit together in confusion, along with his deepening frown. It gets worse as he tries to watch the road ahead, while at the same time, watching you continue to crumble.

“And after the birth, I’m just going to be an even fatter slob who can’t take care of her baby,” you sniffle and weep, trying in vain to wipe your eyes and get ahold of yourself.

Dean grits his teeth, his jaw twitching. Fuck it.

He turns the steering wheel sharp enough to startle a gasp out of you.

“Dean!”

He pulls the car over onto the side of the road, ignoring the honking SUV behind him. He shifts into Park and shuts off the radio—a big red flag, in your opinion. He’s upset too, and fucking serious, more so than you’ve ever seen him. You stare back at him with wide eyes.

“I’ve never once heard you say that you’re fat,” he says.

You blink at that, but eventually, you’re able to get your tongue to unstick from the roof of your mouth. You wipe the remnants of tears from your cheeks. Your face is already hot from your upset, now tinged with embarrassment.

“You haven’t known me very long,” you say quietly.

It doesn’t help. Dean’s jaw ticks again.

“Well, I’ve never thought it. Not even once,” he says. His jade green eyes are firmly set on yours, and he gestures between you and him with a pointed finger. “The reason you and I are here right now, is because the minute I saw you, I wanted you.”

One corner of his lips kicks upwards. “And that night, you didn’t disappoint.”

Your mouth falls open slightly. You don’t know how to respond, but you do know that a full blush is warming your face and neck. His words have power, and unbidden, they bloom a similar warmth between your legs. You swallow a bit nervously as you bite your bottom lip.

Dean glances down at your mouth when you do. He can remember what your pretty mouth did for him that night. Oh, he remembers all too well. He even had the shade of your lipstick streaked across his skin until he showered up at the firehouse.

He locks that all away when shifts the car back into Drive. If you’re going to make it to this appointment on time, he needs to get going.

And you both have to leave whatever that was right here by the side of the road.

AN: Woo! 😮‍💨 Yep, this is only Part 1, friends. Lisa is a bit different in this. My take was that without Ben in her life, she might be less mature and a bit more catty. As we get into Part 2 I'll leave it up to you to decide why she decides to stay with Dean, and perhaps more importantly, where the reader and Dean can go from here as co-parents. 🤔

If you enjoyed Part 1, please let me know!~

Next Time in Part 2:

“Hey, you okay?” you say, resting a gentle hand on his arm.

Dean shakes his head. “Look, I…I’m sorry for tossing a giant friggin’ monkey wrench into your life. I know this hasn’t been easy for you.”

If possible, your heart softens even more. You slide your hand down to grasp his.

“Dean, this baby wasn’t planned, but he’s not a mistake,” you say. “I don’t regret anything.”

Dean stares back at you incredulously. He can’t believe you could really say that to him. He doesn’t know what to say. He only knows what’s in his mind, and what he feels compelled to do in that moment.

He leans over and kisses you. It’s a firm meeting of his lips to yours, and achingly familiar.

⋆˙⟡ Keep Reading: Part 2

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[tentacledtherapist]

Dearest Lisa,

I have missed writing to you, but I have had what feels like the longest month of my life. It truly feels like my body is decaying away sometimes, and never do I get a break.

Only now, just before dawn, do I write to you, sitting under the low hanging aurora borealis that skirts farther south than normal today, deep in the wilderness on the other side of the country, as the fog clears over the lake. My only moment of peace, after I have been running and running and running, and I slow to a stop here and think of you. And I know it is time to write.

Things have been busy! Normally after a weekend where I am very active I need nearly a week to rest (as I mentioned my body is truly falling apart!) But I haven't had a single moments rest this month so the feeling like I am running is true to form. I've had business every single weekend and other business and doctors nonsense during the week. I'm preparing for a mild surgery next week (hence all my appointments) and since I won't be able to do anything while recovering I obviously had to make up for it in the month running up to it. Hopefully all goes well? If only I truly could just be stitched together and be done with it. Probably easier to deal with it that way, hobble along with a new leg or hand or whatever immediately rather then this fabled "bed rest" that's all the rage these days~! I did get some x-rays in preparation if you'd like to see them. Not exactly a face reveal but they're fun to look at that's for sure. (Is it weird I think my spine looks pretty? It's an experience to see your own Vertebrae.)

I really hope you're doing well. How has your project been going? I cannot wait for you to post the final result. Anything particularly interesting happen while I was away? I thought of you often even amidst the chaos!

Take care,

Your Creature

adam!

oh, creech, i missed you! i was worried. i hoped you were okay but i didn’t know what you were going through and i didn’t want to add to any potential stress so i figured i would just wait until you were able to talk again. i thought about you a lot, hoping you were well. i’m glad you are (at least relatively)

i get the struggle when it feels like your body is falling apart. just last year i spent every weekend in a different doctor’s office trying to figure out why my joints were suddenly shutting down. lots of poking and prodding and x-rays and MRIs and blood tests, i felt like a pincushion. (as it turns out, my white blood cells are hyperactive, and have been attacking the healthy tissue in my joints! i also have 1/3 of a thyroid cause of that!) i’m sorry you have to go through this all now. it’s exhausting and disheartening and monetarily draining to be constantly in and out of doctors offices. i’m glad you’ll be getting some rest at least post surgery. I hope it all goes well for you, i know how stressful surgery is

i would like to see x-rays, if you’d like to share them! i don’t think it’s particularly odd to think your own spine is pretty, it is a very cool series of bones. i wish my doctors had sent me copies of my MRIs and x-rays to hang onto, but all i have are memories…

my project has unfortunately been put on hold. i have all the pieces together but i have very little time to actually work on it. i’m in the final stages of my thesis as it stands right now, so i have only a few weeks to get it to its final draft of this stage! stressful stuff. in between working on my paper, i’ve also been spending time at the encampments on my campus. mine has been mostly peaceful because the mayor of my city has been very outspoken in calling off the police that my chancellor keeps calling in, but it is scary. i’ve had a gun pointed at me in a school environment multiple times, but it doesn’t get less intimidating. regardless, i refuse to stand by while israel commits genocide “in my name” just because i’m jewish or whatever (even though that’s very clearly not their motivation nor is it any of the other things they’re spouting.)

i didn’t get lucky enough to see the aurora, unfortunately. it supposedly was visible as far south as where i live, but i wasn’t able to see it through light pollution and cloud cover. i have photos from some friends farther north, but i didn’t get to see it myself

it must have been beautiful

- Your Lisa