#;this is late but hopefully still cute and worth :3

[glacialdeath]

bed rest gently push them back down when they try getting out of bed.

nonverbal starters

@wild-pineapple-butt

Rukia had been sitting up, placing her hand about her abdomen area, checking where even hours ago there had been a gaping hole thanks to one of the advancing arrancar. Even after she had already been aware of Orihime's skill, it still was a miraculous event to experience it firsthand, as if washing the very event from reality. That didn't mean her body didn't carry an exhaustion through its veins however. Even the act of sitting up had felt like some kind of struggle, twisting and putting weight on her muscles like at the end of a heavy exercise routine. On top of it, her head was still trying to process what exactly had occurred, unable to fully piece things together as the attack had quickly taken a turn for the worse.

She had just been able to allow herself to lay for a moment, when she had spotted a particular worried look from Ichigo as he darted out of the room, and it was a sort of look that she couldn't allow herself to lay still while she knew it was around, the image sitting in her mind and annoying her, even if it was no longer in her sight. As she sits up further, moving to get out of bed, sweat appearing on her brow, a hand stops her, pushing her back into bed softly. She doesn't quite have the energy to have a proper resistance, falling back easily enough into the pillow.

Rukia tilts her head towards the owner of the hand, giving him a sort of annoyed glare. "I'm fine Renji. Inoue does great work." She assures. That touch from before seemed to trigger a tiredness in her that she hadn't realized, pulling any adrenaline from her and returning her to stillness. She has a discomfort in putting her own health first when clearly she could be of use, but that hand wasn't the sort to allow her to put herself second, And so with a lack of energy to argue, she slumps back into the bed with acceptance. Her eyes dart at the doorway where Ichigo had left moments ago, clearly still bothered and unable to let it go fully. "Would you... Could you check on him?" She doesn't like to ask usually, but it seems like a middle ground between him pushing her to rest and her wanting to make sure her friends are being looked after. If Rukia knows that is she can pass that burden to someone who will see it through then she can rest more at ease.

[empressofthewind]

Hey there, Meronia fan! Do you mind if I ask for Meronia fics recs? And, do you have any fav ships (from any fandom) that the dynamics remind you of Mello/Near?

You can't imagine, how excited I am to find your blog. Let's just say in my older anime/manga group who love Death Note mostly ship Lawlight & Matt/Mello, anti Meronia and are Near haters. So when I said I love Meronia, some blocked me and said I was the weird one. So, I never said it again. But now, after I got out from that group I feel better. Then finding your blog with amazing Mello and Near's metas, I'm so happy! Thanks for your blog...

Thank you very much!!! I'm so happy to hear this :-) in my experience most people on Tumblr are pretty normal about Meronia, and it's SO easy to block/filter users who aren't.

Unfortunately re: ships with similar dynamics, I can't think of any off the top of my head, but I'll put this post in the ship tag; I'm sure someone else will have an answer!! In terms of fic recs, I've actually set up my bookmarks page on AO3 to function like a rec list. I have 36 fics there each with a little blurb and I'm constantly updating it, so hopefully a decent amount that you haven't read! I'll pick 10 of them to link here for easy access (ordered by rating in case you can't/don't want to read the mature ones):

the roof by @lightningblade | 3692 words | Rated T

This is a college AU focused on the development of Mello and Near's relationship through a series of encounters on a rooftop. The writing is GORGEOUS, the progression is masterfully done, and it removes the element of the rivalry without removing the core of what makes Meronia such a great ship! There's also a companion piece up as of yesterday which I'm still recovering from (very very positive).

Dear Mello by @tzviaariella | 4158 words | Rated T

This fic is written during the canon timeline through a series of emails. It's an AU where Mello survives, originally written for the 2023 Meronia Zine but also posted on AO3 (which is what I've linked here). The format is really creative and I'm OBSESSED with the way Mello and Near's dynamic is written. The petty back-and-forth is very entertaining and in-character, and there's a certain familiarity and fondness underlying it that I adore. There are also a few artworks throughout which is a nice treat!!

How to Get Any Guy to Fall in Love with You by Sick_head_Sweet_heart | 7025 words | Rated T

This one has such a late-2000s fandom classic feel to it that I'm surprised it's only a few years old??? It's set at Wammy's House, in which Matt gives Near advice on how to make Mello fall in love with him. The dynamic is insanely cute and I'm obsessed with the way Matt and Near's friendship is characterised here. Them scheming together is something I need more of in fics!!

The Mihael Factor by spiritcrimson | 16 chapters | Rated T

One of the longest completed works I've ever read for Meronia and I have been DYING to find something like this ever since. It's a talent agent x singer AU, and it's literally everything I could have asked for in a longfic. A unique idea, compelling progression and a fun antagonistic dynamic that blossoms into a really sweet romance. It's a slowburn but it doesn't drag on at all, and the ending is SO well worth the wait.

3 + 1 by @squidish | 2423 words | Rated T

x + 1 fics are a favourite trope of mine, as is the general concept of Mello and Near behaving inappropriately in the workplace, and this one combines both of those perfectly. The premise is 3 times Mello and Near got walked in on by one of the SPK members, and 1 time they were caught by the whole group. The writing is SO delightful and there are several lines in this that are permanently lodged in my brain. I find humour in writing immensely difficult to pull off so I'm always in awe of authors who can integrate it naturally, and squidish's writing is a great example of that! (Worth noting that this one is slightly more mature than the other T-rated fics here, so I've put it closer to the M & E section; however the smut scenes are not explicit)

it's friday, i'm in love by @neallo | 2676 words | Rated M

You could read literally anything by neallo and it's guaranteed to be good, but to keep this list short, I've included one angsty fic and one lighthearted fic so you can pick the vibe. This one is more lighthearted, and it depicts a very tender moment in which Mello shows up at Near's door drunk and dances with him in the kitchen. This is a prequel to a bigger AU focusing on a casual relationship between them, but it also holds up as a standalone fic! It's unbearably sweet and there are many lines in there that made me audibly laugh.

Speculation on Demisexual Sex Drive by SayHiDestery | 4069 words | Rated M

The smut scene in this fic is so intimate and perfect, I'm melting just thinking about it. It's an established relationship fic in which Near has PTSD and has certain struggles with intimacy, and Mello guides him through it. It's quite slow-paced and takes its time to linger on the small details, which I absolutely adore, and the writing itself is vivid and beautiful. It also features demisexual Near!!

Winning the Game by clearmain | 4134 words | Rated E

This one is a PWP set mid-canon, immediately after the raid on the SPK. I'm a huge sucker for bold & bratty Near and that's EXACTLY what this fic serves. The way this introduces elements of rivalry and competition into their relationship is excellent and makes this fic feel faithful to their canon dynamic. It's a compelling push-pull with an open but hopeful ending that very succinctly captures the complexities of their relationship.

A Certain Hush by BlueberryAsh | 5434 words | Rated E

One of the first fanfics I read for Meronia and I'm not exaggerating when I say it changed my life. This fic has had SUCH a massive influence on the way I view and write the ship. It's a little glimpse into Mello and Near's relationship immediately after getting together. It's really cute and sweet in a way that feels authentic to the characters, and I'm incredibly impressed by the way it manages to give just enough backstory for their relationship to make sense without getting caught up in the details. Genuinely a masterpiece!

i want to hold you (hostage) by @neallo | 4 chapters | Rated E

The aforementioned angsty neallo fic! This one is an exes AU set during the canon timeline, and it is, as you can imagine, a very fraught dynamic done SO incredibly well. The tension is absolutely delicious and there are earnest moments littered throughout that are guaranteed to have you tearing up. Brilliant setup, brilliant writing, brilliant dynamic; just an absolutely stellar fic on all counts!!

[see-the-fandom-imagines]

What’s in it for me?

Chapter 2/?

Chapter 1 Masterlist

Pairing: Kyouya Ootori x Reader

Author: see-the-fandom-imagines

Warnings: None at all.

Word Count: 2629

A/N: As mentioned before I take inspiration from anime and live-action, so I hope it isn't too confusing! :)

And yes, this is incredibly slow-burn, but hopefully worth it.Also I had to put this episode into two chapters, otherwise they'd have been too long. I know it's starting slow, but I got a few things planned for the next chapters, so stay tuned.

It had been a few weeks now since you had started helping out in the host club and on most days everything went down smoothly. You went to work twice a week and joined Haruhi in Music Room 3 on all other days. After a while everybody got used to you, the girls would ask you less questions about Haruhi you had to dodge and you had talked a little more with each one of the hosts. You didn’t mind coming in so often to be honest, mostly because it meant you could hang out more with Haruhi, but you had to admit, as crazy as the other hosts were, you soon realized that they were some of the nicest people you ever met. Well, some were nicer than others, but still. You had rarely felt that accepted anywhere this quickly.

“They’re back to their nonsense…”, Haruhi stated and you chuckled, carrying a tray full of green tea, when suddenly a bunch of girls surrounded her. “Haruhi-kun, you look so great in that kimono!” “Yes, almost like a girl.” You smiled at her. She really did look beautiful. But as always when the topic got even somewhat close to Haruhi being a girl a familiar voice interrupted. “Haruhi, you've booked another appointment. It seems you've had a pretty steady flow of new customers lately. Keep up the good work.” Kyouya scribbled something onto a scroll while speaking. You wondered if he was actually writing or if that was just another useless prop. "I'm not going to charge you interest on your debt like I normally would, so keep this up and you should be able to pay it off. Although the rental fee on that kimono you're wearing is nothing to sneeze at.” He smiled sweetly, and all the girls seemed captivated by it. “Kyouya-sama”, one girl spoke up and you rolled your eyes. “You’re just too much in that kimono!” He took that compliment gracefully as you sighed and walked past, just trying to get out of the situation. “Oh, but why didn’t you get one, (y/n)-chan?” Surprised you looked up. A girl with dark brown hair had appeared in front of you, looking up at you with big eyes. "I bet you would look really cute in one, too." Did she blush? "Oh, well, I-" “Because she is not an official member”, Kyouya’s voice rang out without missing a beat and you simply chuckled dryly, looking down at your usual school uniform. “Ah, that’s true”, another girl noted, absolutely dazzled the second the older guy spoke up. “Let’s not talk about the rental fee…”, you murmured a tad too loud, so that Kyouya would definitely hear you, but the girls just kept on blabbering something about picture books. Somehow it didn’t even surprise you anymore that Kyouya sold secret photos of all of the hosts. You kept on listening, while putting down a cup of tea infront of another girl. But maybe you could use that to your advantage.

“Hey, Kaoru”, you yelled, waving the twin in your direction. “Just Kaoru?”, Hikaru spoke up and followed suit, taking one of the tea cups from your tray. You had known he'd follow in a flirty mood if you just mentioned his brother. Kaoru didn't react this strongly. Carefully you took out your mobile phone from your pocket with your free hand. “What is it, (y/n)”, Kaoru said, smiling at you, bending over so he could look into your eyes, but your gaze was fixed on your phone. You held out the tray for him, so he'd take the other tea cup, before placing the now empty tray on a random couch. “I just wanted to bring you some tea”, you said, smiling at him. He didn’t quite seem to believe you and his gaze fell on the phone in your hand. “Do you want my number?” You smiled. That wasn’t quite what you had in mind, but, “yes, if it’s alright with you?” Hikaru appeared on his brother’s side. “How unfair, what about me?” “I want your number, too, of course. I thought now that we are friends, we should be able to contact each other, no?”

Minutes later you sat down in front of Kyouya, sighing, playing with your phone. He didn’t even look up. “Is it time for your break, yet?”, he asked, but you chose to ignore that question. You lowered your phone, before bending over the table a little, trying to make eye contact. “Instead of making me carry stuff, let me help you with that”, you said, pointing at his scroll and the tablet that was hidden underneath a cloth. Only now did he look up and raised an eyebrow. “What? I might as well help out in a way that’s a little more useful, no?” Kyouya still didn’t seem convinced. You sighed. “You need photos to sell, but only got random blurry pics, correct?” “Yes”, he said. “You think you can sell them?” “Not quite”, you said. “But you need photos, no?” Kyouya finally put down his scroll. You had successfully caught his interest. “So you’re saying you can deliver pictures of all hosts that are good enough to sell?” “Better”, you smirked and lifted your phone.

Kyouya looked at the picture you had just taken of him, entirely without him noticing. It wasn’t the most professional picture ever, but it was also not blurry and it looked weirdly natural. “It looks like we’re on a date”, you exclaimed happily, but hushed your voice as you noticed some girls reacting to what you had just said. Kyouya seemed irritated at first but then began to understand. “Scroll through”, you told him, and he did. “Pictures of the twins”, you explained unnecessarily. “Look me in the eye and tell me those don’t look like the pics a girlfriend would take.” Kyouya smiled, before looking back up at you. That was smart. And no one had even noticed, which would make the pictures even easier to sell, since none of the other hosts would complain too much. You were really quite something. Maybe he had underestimated you, not that he would ever admit to that. You saw the sparkle in his eyes and grinned confidently. For a moment the both of you were just looking at each other, trying to read each others expressions or even minds, if possible, when suddenly you were interrupted by Tamaki shouting out random things again a little louder than he should have. Kyouya broke the eye contact and sighed. He got up, trying to see what that was about, but not without giving you a quick nod to signal you, that your talk wasn’t over yet.

"Damn it", you cursed, but got up as well, following Kyouya towards the commotion. The twins and Tamaki were greeting a girl that had partially hidden behind the door. She seemed shy. A new customer? You instantly felt a little bad for her, having not only the twins, but also Tamaki approach you, could be too much for most people. Especially since Tamaki obviously had activated his princely charm. “Please, you don't have to be afraid, my Princess. I welcome you to the Ouran Host Club.” But the new girl didn’t hesitate. Before he could even finish talking she pushed him away, screaming loudly. “NO! Don't touch me! You're phony!” Tamaki stumbled back, holding his face in his dramatic fashion. “Wh-What do you mean, phony?”, he asked but she didn’t let him down easily. You had definitely underestimated her. That girl was everything but shy. “Just what I said, you're phony! I find it hard to believe that someone like you is the Prince character of this Host Club! You shouldn't go spreading your love around so easily like that, you stupid!" Wow, she really kept going. "You must be a dimwitted narcissist! You're incompetent! You're a commoner! You're disgusting!" You waited a second to see if she was done, but had watched in awe as she kept insulting the self-proclaimed king of the club. Tamaki fell down, the other hosts watching him, concerned. Ouch. That hurt. Even Kyouya stepped closer, but only took a brief look at Tamaki, before he turned around to the girl. Realisation hit his features. “Could you be…” Surprised you watched his expression change, before you heard the girl scream again: “Kyouya-sama!” She ran towards him, pushing you out of the way and making you stumble backwards. Kyouya saw you fall, but he couldn’t react fast enough, for the strange girl had wrapped her arms around his waist. Thankfully, the next thing you felt wasn't the hard floor, but a pair of arms holding you, right before you would have collided with the floor. “Thank you, Senpai", you smiled up at Mori, who carefully helped you back to your feet. Your gaze shifted back to Kyouya who had instinctively lifted his hands, trying very hard not to touch the strange girl. Surprised you looked from him down to her, and back up to him. His gaze met yours and he looked like he wanted to say something, but she interrupted. “Oh, how I've longed to meet you! My one and only Prince Charming.” For the first time since you had started in this host club, you were entirely out of words.

----

“Fiancee?”, the twins yelled in unison. “Kyouya’s?” “Yes”, she confirmed. You kept staring at Kyouya, who had remained silent the entire time. “Kyoyas fiancée”, you repeated, the word left a bitter taste in your mouth. "Did you know about this?", you asked Haruhi, who sat next to you, looking at least as confused as you were. "I had no idea", she whispered back, before the new girl continued to speak. “I am Renge Hoshakuji”, she introduced herself, but you still only stared at Kyouya. Was he really engaged? Maybe all those dramas were right and rich young kids did get engaged by their parents. Or did they choose to get married? No, that couldn’t be, the way he had lifted his arms as she hugged him really didn’t seem like they were deeply in love with each other. If that was even an emotion Kyouya could feel. “Ours is a story of love at first sight! I couldn't resist the way you were adoring those flowers in the backyard when you thought no one else was looking. And how sweet it was when you reached out to that poor little injured kitten.” “Is she serious”, the twins asked. “Could it be that you got the wrong person?”, Haruhi added. You still looked at Kyouya who finally realized your penetrating gaze and looked at you, face unreadable. “No way! I can recognize my love any where! He's a gentleman who's kind to everyone but doesn't ask for anything in return! He likes solitude but in fact sometimes he can get lonely!” The twins started yelling in the background, loudly expressing the confusion you all felt. That really did not sound in the slightest like Kyouya. Did he lead a secret life none of you knew about? You thought for a second, before you decided to speak up, also to hopefully calm down the twins a little. “If you’re engaged, why have you never met?”, you asked, and it worked. Everything went silent and the hosts looked surprised. “What?”, you asked. “Isn’t that obvious? She obviously needed a while to even recognize him and that description… No offense, but that’s not Kyouya.” “None taken”, he said, seeming almost pleased that his reputation hadn't suffered too much from her words. “She is right”, Hikaru started. “But it is quite common to get engaged without meeting the partner.” Your mouth formed a small 'o' and you looked at Kyouya, furling your brows. He noted your expression and couldn’t help but wonder what you were thinking. Were you … worried? Renge didn't even give anyone else the chance to react, though, because she almost immediately resumed speaking as if she hadn't listened to a single word either of you were saying. “He looks like the star of the popular dating sim Uki Doki Memorial! You're my real life Ichijo Miyabi!” She pointed at Kyouya, and suddenly the coin dropped. "Uki ..." "... Doki ...” “Memorial?” “Otaku!”, yelled Tamaki and the others followed suit. “I get it now”, Kyoya spoke up, “you're in love with that character. You're projecting that love onto me, and somehow deluded yourself into thinking that we're engaged. I assume this Miyabi character probably wears glasses as well.” “Ah my real Prince Charming! Ichijo Miyabi! I can't wait to get married! And we're gonna have the prettiest babies ever!” You felt the sweat drop from your forehead. Now she was already talking about babies. “So she made iit up, you’re not really her fiancé, right?”, Tamaki stated and Kyoya shook his head. “Well no, I don't remember ever asking for her hand in marriage." He thought for a while. "Besides, this is the first time I've ever met the woman.” Everybody stopped dead in their tracks, glaring at Kyouya angrily. Including you. “You could have mentioned you weren’t engaged ages ago”, you yelled at him, mad that he had made you worried in the first place. You sighed angrily and looked away. “I was worried”, you whispered, but Renge interrupted you again and this time you let her push you out of the way. You trained your eyes on the ground, not really knowing why all of this bothered you so much in the first place. Suddenly, you felt a hand on your shoulder. “He really could have said so sooner”, Kaoru said, squeezing your shoulder slightly while rolling his eyes and you smiled up at him. He must have heard you. "Thanks", you whispered, and Kaoru blushed a little, but kept his hand where it was. "Really, the last person you should ever worry about is Kyouya", he continued, making you chuckle. He grinned at you, before his brother caught his attention again. For a moment you thought about just leaving, but Renge was already back in action. Kyoya had gotten up, too, seemingly to get his notebook, but something told you he just wanted to bring some distance between him and her without seeming rude. He stopped next to you as Renge finished her monologue. “I've made up my mind! From now on, I'm gonna be the manager of this host club!” Everybody sighed. “That was an option?”, you whispered. Kyouya shrugged. “You didn’t ask for that position.” You shot him another unbelieving glance, before you got up, now feeling the need to bring a little distance between him and yourself. A bit overwhelmed, you decided to step next to Haruhi. Maybe she could help you feel a little more sane around here. “Is it always like this?” She sighed, watching the scene unfold infront of her. “Mostly, yeah.”

Tamaki joined your corner and stepped inbetween Haruhi and Kyouya. He obviously was just as taken aback by the sudden attack of the lady manager. “Uhm, listen, Kyouya…”, he started, but got interrupted almost immediately. “Miss Houshakuji is the only daughter of a very important Ootori family client", Kyouya explained with a smile. "So please be polite and try not to offend her alright?” You scoffed which earned you a reprimanding glance from the host club's director. But you didn't care and instead just looked away and decided to take care of your tea again. You really didn’t feel like acting like a clown for some random girl popping in and pushing herself on everybody like that. You picked up your tray and some empty tea cups. She had just waltzed in here, claiming Kyouya was her fiancé and that she'd be the club's new manager. You felt a pang of jealousy in your chest. Probably because of the manager thing. A tea cup fell out of your hand. You stared for a moment at the shards on the ground, before you sighed and began picking up the broken fragments. That would cost you at least a 1.000 Yen. Silently, you continued cleaning up, not feeling Kyoyas observant eyes on your back.

Chapter 3

[thiccpettybitch]

Hey! I was wondering if you could write one where you and Miguel aren’t quite in a verbally established relationship yet but you sleep together a lot, and one day he comes over to your place to let out his stress but finds you in the middle of a really bad panic attack and changes modes instantly? I’m talking like super gentle, soothing words and small touches so light you can barely feel them and he just comforts you

Bonus points for gentle lovemaking after you’ve calmed down and he’s sure you’re ok :3

OKAY SO I DO HAVE MIGUEL AS YOUR BOSS STORY IN THE WORKS AS WELL AND THIS REQUEST FIT IT SO WELL SO...

Ehem. I have a lot of WIPs, i know. I'm sorry!

Enjoyed this request, it was super cute and hopefully you think so too! 😊

You've had quite a month, haven't you? Four unfortunate mishaps that made life a tad chaotic. First, there was that unfortunate Friday evening when you misplaced your apartment keys, leaving you stranded outside until your landlord came to the rescue the next day.

The second mishap was quite the fashion faux pas. Wearing an all-white blouse during the morning rush hour and then deciding to grab a coffee on the way to work – not the best combination. Thanks to a sharp turn on the train and a stranger's elbow, you ended up with an unsightly dark brown stain on your chest. The judgmental stares during the meeting were a bit much, but hey, at least your boss didn't seem too bothered by it.

Number three, well, it was a case of multitasking gone wrong. Chatting with colleagues while shredding papers led to an accidental mix-up, and the wrong paperwork got handed in. Thankfully, printing the correct ones saved you from your boss's wrath

And the fourth, oh-so-brilliant (insert sarcasm here) choice you made was having a bit too much to drink during a mandatory happy hour, as a reward for your team's hard work over the last three months. But hey, the drinking itself wasn’t the worst part, well… not exactly. That day, you ended up in bed with none other than your boss! Talk about throwing professionalism out the window. In the moment, you just shrugged it off, face down in his bed, clutching onto the sheets and all. But really, looking back, you couldn't believe it!

It was a mistake, no doubt about it. You both knew it, and you both decided to chalk it up to a drunken night's folly. No biggie, right? But then, to your surprise, it happened again, and this time, you weren't even tipsy. You were bent over his desk at work while he... well, you know the rest. Yeah, it was just another mistake, a huge slip-up; you never saw it coming

The sixth time, however, had been a moment of bad decision-making, with both of you being drunk on a misguided impulse. You ended up pressed against a wall in a random broom closet at work, where you both awkwardly walked back to your work stations – him straightening his tie, and you flattening your hair back down. Was it a mistake? Possibly. Reckless and stupid? Absolutely. The last time you two did it? Absolutely not.

Sex with Miguel was intense; the man had a certain charm and charisma. Despite being a stubborn workaholic during the day, he had a way of making your eyes roll to the back of your skull. The noises he would make when you dropped down on your knees for him weren’t bad either, that and the look he’d give you when you rode him made all the paperwork and late nights worth it, and then some.

Miguel still argued that it was a mistake, and you fully agreed as his mouth practically devoured yours. It was a mistake for sure, but damn did it feel good. Miguel always spoke about it as a stress relief, and so far, you agreed with him. Sure, you did end up speaking more. Sometimes, you ended up having lunch together, and a few times he’d given you a lift home, but it was usually because he stayed over for a few hours to, well… de-stress.

He did however have an unspoken rule of not staying the night, it went both ways and sometimes when you were too polite to agree to him driving you home you regretted it, sitting on a train at 3 am next to party girlies and drunks, your panties in your handbag weren’t your proudest moments.

---

It was a Friday evening, and you had just arrived home from work, slipping your shoes off as you walked over to your answering machine. Pressing play, you listened to the messages while absentmindedly putting away some groceries you had picked up on your way home.

You then walked over to your desk, dropping your work bag on the office chair, and started unloading the paperwork you had brought home. Not that you were thrilled about working over the weekend, but you were a bit behind and needed to catch up. As you placed some folders on your desk, you suddenly stopped. One file in your hand caught your attention – there was a sticky note attached to it. As you read the contents of the sticky note, a chill ran down your spine.

[I know what you’ve been up to, slut!]

What the hell?

You read the note over and over silently to yourself, even saying the words out loud a few times before putting it back down on your desk, frowning. Did someone know? And if they did, did they think you were sleeping with Miguel to get a promotion or something? A knot started forming in your stomach as your anxiety got the best of you.

"Hi y/n, it’s Michelle, one of the managers. I apologize for leaving a message after hours, but if you could come in for a meeting on Monday, that would be great. Don’t bother stopping at your office; just head straight up to my office as you come in to work."

You froze, gripping the folder in your hands tightly. The knot in your stomach grew, and suddenly, it felt harder to breathe, as if a lump was forming in your throat. You dropped the file and stumbled backward onto your bed, your eyes wide as you stared ahead, heaving. You couldn’t lose your job, not now, not when you had worked so hard to get it. With just barely enough to afford rent and necessities, you hadn't been able to save much. This job was stable, but you weren’t being paid enough to afford losing it. The thought of being fired because someone found out about your relationship with your boss terrified you. The company you worked for was your only reference since school, and you couldn’t risk that rumor getting out

Leaning forward, your head against your knees, you remembered what your mom had taught you to do when you were panicking, or more accurately, when you were having panic attacks. You had experienced them since school – nothing to be ashamed of, as it wasn’t uncommon, but they were still awful. Your chest felt tight and painful, and chills ran down your back. Falling backward against the bed, you closed your eyes and focused on your breathing – just breathe, count to five, slowly. Just... just breathe.

Suddenly, you heard a noise coming from your hallway and your front door. Your eyes shot open, and you stood up, still heaving and feeling a bit dizzy. You stared out towards the dark hallway, panic rising up your throat. You lived in an okay neighborhood, but that didn't mean that crime never happened here. Had you remembered to lock the door? No... you were so focused on bringing in the groceries and putting away your Ben and Jerry's that now someone might be in your apartment, and you're about to- you-

You can’t breath properly! Oh god��� You can’t-

"Hey, sorry about letting myself in, but I knocked, and the door was open. You should really make sure you lock it," Miguel said as he walked through the darkness of your hallway and joined you in your one-room apartment.

He let out a groan, stretching his arms above his head, his eyes screwed shut as he strolled past you and headed straight to your fridge. Pulling out your orange juice, he poured himself a glass. "I swear to God, half the people on our team don't do anything all day. I've had to deal with meetings after meeting after meeting today, while also having to check everyone's paperwork and make corrections," Miguel sighed, finishing the glass. Turning around with a tired smile, he continued, "I hope, for your sake, that you're prepared to stay in bed this weekend. I haven't been able to think about anything else but your-"

As he turned around, he stilled, his eyes going wide as he looked at you, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. In the blink of an eye, his suggestive tone and the smirk on his face were gone, replaced by a look of concern. He walked over to you, placing a hand on your shoulder as he gently guided you to sit back down.

"What's wrong? You look so pale - are... are you crying?" he asked, crouching in front of you, his gaze fixed on your face.

"Someone knows. And they threatened me, and then I got a message, and they told management, and I'm gonna lose my job, and my apartment, and I don't have family, and I'm gonna end up on the street, and then you came in, and I thought it was a stranger in my apartment, and then- and then-" You were gasping, rambling so quickly that Miguel flinched, his eyes wide as he tried to make sense of what you were saying.

"Oye! Cálmate, cálmate," he said as he reached up and held your cheek, a worried look on his face. "Just breathe, breathhh. Look at me; breathe with me - in and out. Slowly." You leaned into the hand on your cheek; it was so warm, and his voice was so comforting that you could feel yourself slowly beginning to relax.

"There you go, cálmate. Breathe slowly, I got you," Miguel assured, offering you a small, comforting smile. He stood up and sat down next to you on the bed, pulling you close and laying down with you. For a moment, you were worried he was going to try something, but you practically melted in his arms as he began running gentle circles on your back, whispering softly for you to focus on your breathing, to relax into his touch, assuring you that he was there and that everything was going to be okay. You were safe there in his arms.

You watched as he had gone from: ready to bend you over the nearest surface, to holding you so gently yet so lovingly you almost fell apart right there on the spot. He left featherlight kisses on top of your head, reassuring you how well you were doing as you started to regain control of your breathing.

After about an hour of him holding you and providing comfort, his touch so gentle and warm that you craved it, he moved away slightly to help you sit back up. You finally let out a breath, small tears dried on your cheeks. He sat there quietly, watching you, with one hand on your back and the other wiping away a final escaping tear from your cheek.

"You feel better?" he asked, and you nodded slowly, feeling a bit self-conscious.

"Good." The smile on his face made you blush lightly, and you brushed some hair behind your ear as you spoke, "You're really good at that, calming someone down, I mean. Sorry if I made things weird."

Miguel chuckled and shook his head, "No, I might be an asshole sometimes, but I don't hold it against people for having common human emotions," he joked as he stroked your back.

"My little brother, Gabriel, he used to have them when we were kids," he said, shaking his head as if reminiscing on something fondly. "Smartest little shit around town, but he had a knack of letting his anxieties get the best of him. Sometimes it just... becomes too much. So don't worry your head about it, okay?"

This new side of Miguel you were seeing made your chest feel warm, and you couldn't help the small smile that formed on your face as he looked at you fondly. You had expected him to just leave or tell you to calm down or stop being stupid, but instead, he had held you and made you feel safe. There was no hidden agenda, no "okay, u wanna fuck now?" like with some of your exes. He was just there, caring not because he had to or wanted something from you, but because he genuinely cared about you.

You shared everything with him, showing him the sticky note as he took a picture of it with his phone, mumbling that he would look into it, so you didn't need to worry. You also confided in him about your fear of losing your job and, even though it felt embarrassing, you disclosed your financial situation. Throughout the conversation, he attentively listened, offering comfort when needed and simply being there when you needed to express yourself.

By the end of it all, he managed to convince you that there was nothing to worry about. As the manager of your group, he assured you that if anyone had a reason to fire you, he would have been informed. Besides, if anyone had an issue with your relationship, they would have approached him first.

‘’And before you even worry your pretty little head about it, I’m too valuable of an employee to those jackasses to ever be fired over something so small. I don’t intend to lose my job OR let you lose yours, no matter how good you look on my dick, Okay?’’ You smiled and rolled your eyes at his joke, your cheeks still warming a bit at the compliment.

You felt so much better; all the worry and stress just slipped off your shoulders. Instead, you now felt something completely different. Glancing over at Miguel, he tilted his head with a small smile on his face, asking if you wanted to get some takeout, and he’d offer to help you finish some paperwork. Instead, you leaned forward and kissed him, catching him off guard. He kissed you back, placing a hand on your shoulder and slowly pulling back to look at you.

‘’We don’t have to… We can just get something to eat, or if you want some time alone, I could leave and call you tomorrow? You don’t have to-‘’

You playfully jumped on him, and as he fell back, he let out a hearty laugh while you peppered kisses all over his face. Amidst a string of praises and exclamations like, ‘my god, you are so perfect, I'm gonna lose my damn mind!’. You finally stopped and looked down at him, enjoying the sight of his slightly red cheeks and the loving gaze he returned.

‘’Do you…’’ you began, biting your bottom lip, ‘’wanna stay the night?’’ you asked as you looked down at him lustfully.

He gently placed both his hands on each side of your face, cupping your cheeks as he pulled you down for a lavish kiss. His thumbs stroked your cheeks, and you fully melted against him, kissing him back with equal intensity. That night you ended up doing it in bed, not just doing it but doing it missionary. He had stopped you as you went to bend over the bed, in your underwear, and you looked up at him confused.

‘’I can fuck you any day you want, tonight I’m gonna make love to you, cariño~’’ He purred as he pulled you towards him.

‘’That’s so corny!’’ You laughed, and he held you close, mouth agape as he feigned being heartbroken, with a playful look of betrayal on his face.

‘’Get that fine ass over here then!’’ He said, and you squealed as he pulled you on top of him, playfully swatting at your behind. Both of you laughed, and he pulled you close, kissing you passionately, and you eagerly returned the kiss.

[godihatethiswebsite]

Books Tag Game!

Tagged by @dragonnarrative-writes.

Point of order: I'm a picky bitch. The amount of books I've read vs the books I'd actually put on a bookshelf are like.... maybe 20, taking into account most of them are part of a series. Tho tbf most of the 'good books' I want aren't on KU and I'm kinda fucking broke. Also yes, the early days of booktok got me back into reading after a 10+ year slump in case that wasn't about to become insanely obvious.

1) The last book I read:

Fake It Till You Make It by Flora Quincy. Been on the hunt for more omegaverse books, but this one was terrible >< DNF'd.

2) A book I recommend:

I don't know how not to sound like a basic bitch broken record, but for the love of god go read A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas. Just stop after book three in the series.

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

Blood and Ash by Jennifer L Armentrout. Binged the first three books (that were out) in two days. Wish I could afford the rest.

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more):

Hi. Basic bitch again :) A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J Maas. You have no idea what this book meant to me the first time I read it and the strength it gave me to open my eyes and see that I was worth so much more.

5) A book on my TBR:

Currently there are about 28 of varying excitement to read (most of it is what I refer to as 'junk food'), but I've got an upcoming release in September for the fourth book in the Beasts of the Briar series by Elizabeth Helen called Broken By Daylight I'm looking forward to.

6) A book I’ve put down:

Exodus by Kate Stewart. I was prepared to put this series as one of my all time favorites with the way I felt falling in love with Sean and Dom, but after that... refused to read more. Genuinely devastated, still not over it. Haven't looked at rainy days the same ever since.

Also just because it still bothers me - House of Flame and Shadow by Sarah J Maas. What the fuck girl?! The first one was so good and I praise so much of your work! But it's like ever since ACOTAR book 4 came out you've just dropped the ball...

7) A book on my wish list:

Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros. Hopefully it's better than some of the other dragon books I've tried recently.

8) A favorite book from childhood:

The Sight by David Clement-Davies. It's a fantasy book that follows a pack of wolves and their daughter who has visions. Have tissues on hand.

9) A book you would give to a friend:

Depends on the friend >>; We talking a cute hockey romance like Weak Side by SJ Sylvis... or is the freak flag flying with Shantel Tessier's The Sinner?

10) A fiction book you own:

Death: A Life by George Pendle. Not my usual fare, but it's a fun 'autobiography' about the grim reaper.

11) A nonfiction book you own:

Does a high school yearbook count?

12) What are you currently reading:

Just cracked open Baby + the Late Night Howlers by Kathryn Moon, but I'm expecting to probably close it within the first few pages (seriously, my kingdom for a good omegaverse that I haven't already read 😭).

13) What are you planning on reading next?

God, idk. Most of the books on my list either cost money, aren't out yet, or are titles I know are most likely gonna be mid at best.

No pressure tags: @cosmicpro, @void-my-warranty, @all-purpose-dish-soap, @stuffireadandenjoy, and @rememberwren

[thesinglesjukebox]

YEAH THAT'S RIGHT WE'RE BACK WE WEREN'T JOKING AROUND NOW GET IN THE CAR BEEP BEEP LET'S RIDE

CHARLI XCX - SPEED DRIVE [5.07]

Oliver Maier: A dark cloud seems to hang over Charli XCX as of late. Last year's perfectly passable Crash was touted by her as her "sellout" album, and while it charted impressively, it didn't demonstrate the effortless hitmaking that Charli sometimes implies she could pull off any time, if she only felt like it. That success instead has rather randomly gone to the risible "Speed Drive," her first UK top 10 since 2015 and first Billboard entry since a year prior. There's a lot I don't like about it, but enumerating its faults feels futile when it has the baked-in defense of just being a cute song for the Barbie movie!(!!!) Put simply, though, it's lazy to the point of feeling contemptuous. I have far fewer reservations about switching my brain off and having fun with pop when it feels like the artist is laughing with me, not at me. [2]

Alex Ostroff: On Crash, Charli started leaning into obvious interpolations to try to hit the charts. Hopefully, "Speed Drive" is the tail end of that tendency and not her new normal. The mashup of "Hey Mickey" and "Cobrastyle" works significantly better for me than the way she lifted from September and Robin S. for Crash singles, and there are a few excellent line deliveries, but this still feels like Charli on autopilot. The album's worth of unreleased songs with SOPHIE do more exciting and interesting things sonically than this PC-XCX retread, and if she isn't pushing the boundaries of pop music in weird and abrasive new directions, I'd much rather have the hooks and big choruses of "New Shapes" and "Lightning" than an under-two-minute sketch of an idea. The problem, of course, is that Charli on autopilot mashing up Robyn and Toni Basil, but fully committing to the performance and vocal delivery, still ends up giving us a: [6]

Alfred Soto: Charli XCX's reputation as a unsung pop master crumbles every time she releases another middling single. From the "Mickey" lift to the perfunctory rhythm track, "Speed Drive" is closer to assembly line than a Barbie factory. [4]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: The best Charli XCX songs in this lane are cleverly stupid ("Hot in It", "Yuck") or stupidly clever ("No Angel", "Vroom Vroom"), but this is just normal, garden-variety dumb -- less a song and more a collection of Pavlovian cues for stans to go wild over. All points here should be allocated to Easyfun, who at least does his job competently. [3]

Will Rivitz: Crash was Charli's worst release in nearly a decade for more reasons than I can fit in these few sentences, but most salient to "Speed Drive" was the record's uncharacteristically smooth polish. Her music achieves transcendence when it leans into its unsanded edges and hungover hedonism, channeling self-destruction and snottiness into bombast and excess. If it sounds like a first or second draft slapped onto Spotify before it's had the chance to hit a mastering studio, it's succeeded. Crash was too careful to hit those same highs, and as a result, its attempted mess felt lethargic and flat, indulgence as a single drunk cigarette instead of half an Adderall chased with absinthe. So, since "Speed Drive" sounds like it was mastered on a 2015 MacBook speaker and plays its two main interpolations as insouciantly straight as possible, it represents a return to form. Mess is more. [7]

Aaron Bergstrom: A perfectly acceptable Charli-by-numbers exercise: shiny, metallic PC Music production smeared over otherwise kitchy sonic references (and "Cobrastyle," which rules in any context); lyrics referencing cars, Japan, or cars in Japan; halfhearted attempt to tie it all back to Barbie somehow. [5]

Rachel Saywitz: Sonically, "Speed Drive" is one of the more interesting songs from this year's Barbie soundtrack -- unfortunately, that isn't saying much. A flurry of bubbling synth patterns echo the song's title, but what should be an exhilarating digital rush is overset by drab lyrics that sound like they came out of a Mattel exec's secret poetry diary (+ charm bracelet which unlocks the diary + a copy of the 2006 hit Barbie mocap film, The Barbie Diaries): "She my best friend in the whole world / On the mood board, she's the inspo / and she dressed in really cute clothes." Charli is in on the joke, but the joke isn't actually a joke -- it's a corporate branded major studio movie that was made to sell more toys, unable to subvert its maker no matter how many jokes it makes about male CEOs, discontinued toys, and "tax evasion issues." Can we just get Charli to soundtrack one of those poorly animated Barbie movies that know exactly what they are? Can we get a Barbie: The Princess and the Pauper remix album? Oh my god wait that would be incredible Mattel please call me I'll revoke my DSA membership please [5]

Hannah Jocelyn: I am a Barbie movie defender; you take your $100 million toy commercial and make the best possible trans allegory a cis woman can make, you have my respect. (Just as Little Women is the best queer movie a straight woman can make, love ya Greta!) I feel like mainstream feminism-attempting films, Barbie included, are so preoccupied with being Statements they'll sacrifice any momentum to get a message across. This is much less messy and complex than the movie it soundtracks, content to get in and out with its endearingly obvious samples. Charli's attitude makes the song sound more chaotic than it really is, but that effortlessness is a neat contrast to a movie that tries really fucking hard. Suddenly, I want to buy a 2024 Chevy Blazer EV. [7]

Brad Shoup: Like the vast majority of thinkpieces this movie elicited, this isn't really about Barbie, is it? It leaps into a gear and holds; there's nothing to distract you while the motor hums. It ends with Charli chanting "red lights," like she's desperate to pull over. [4]

Andrew Karpan: Perhaps the most important of the pop hits salvaged from an '80s nite at a club near you, "Speed Drive" is already a Greatest Hit among the stans, and justifiably so. Charli boils down what these nostalgia grabs are all about: misrememberences of a more understandable past, the fantasy of driving cars, the mood board stretched infinitely into the promise of a new century, the crux of Barbie itself. [10]

Jonathan Bradley: [A whiteboard with "Charli XCX Barbie soundtrack????" written on it and nothing else.] [3]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: Even on this throwaway soundtrack cut where Charli sounds like she's putting in 25%, her pop flourishes and mannerisms are undeniably powerful. It's the way she rhymes "whole world" with "inspo", knowing it doesn't work; the way she races through the chorus like she's bored and speed-reading random words on a page; the way she robotically drones "Li-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ghts," unbothered at the laziness of the hook. This can't even clock in at two minutes. Give us nothing, queen! [7]

Kayla Beardslee: Charli understands how to craft a hook better than 99.99% of all musicians that have ever existed. [7]

Dorian Sinclair: I would not have thought to combine "Hey Mickey" with Robyn's "Cobrastyle" at all, let alone as part of a massive Mattel movie. Perhaps this is why Charli XCX is a pop star and I decidedly am not. The result mostly works, though it feels a bit less than the sum of its parts. And while I don't entirely get the focus on the car, maybe it's so she can run it back for the Hot Wheels film? [6]

Peter Ryan: Pop's foremost interpolator doubles down for a truly inspired how-hasn't-this-been-done moment. As a chase scene backdrop it's an [8], but on its own it's not even her third-best car tune. [5]

Katherine St Asaph: Brainless, reckless fun utterly unfit for purpose. The song is called "Speed Drive" and is perfect in tempo and stupidity for racing down the highway faster than God intended. And Charli still interjects "hah!" like no one else. But when do you go on the highway? When you're planning on driving for more than 2 minutes! [6]

Jeffrey Brister: Sleekly built, moves quick without fuss, pushes up a bit, but never really crests into high gear. I'm not asking for transcendence, but maybe an acknowledgement of a higher power while you lightly tap the gas pedal? [5]

Edward Okulicz: Having stopped writing good Charli XCX songs years ago, Charli XCX has, with this, ceased to even sound like Charli XCX. The only good bit about this is the "Mickey" interpolation. Driving around with this would give me a headache within about two miles. [2]

Vikram Joseph: In which Charli decides to write an AI version of a Charli song before the machines get there first. [4]

Will Adams: I will own up to being one of those who were WRONG and DUMB about "Vroom Vroom" when it first came out; I still wouldn't rate it highly, but I recognize its importance and impact on pop music. Special thanks to "Speed Drive" for helping me through that process by demonstrating what "Vroom Vroom" would sound like if there were significantly less effort. [3]

Jibril Yassin: Sucker needed this more than we did, but I'll take any new Charli songs that use actual choruses again. [8]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: I applaud Charli for staying faithful to "Hey Mickey": the only good thing here is the hook. [3]

Crystal Leww: Funniest thing about this song is that one of my best friends in the whole world made an edit of it, and once we were out, the original played and I was like, "man this is so slow." And then she told me that the BPMs are actually exactly the same. Good song for Charli in her popstar elder era, but I'd always rather be listening to the edit. [5]

Michelle Myers: This would have been a fine addition to my 2009 pre-gaming playlist. I can taste the Smirnoff Ice and MAC Lip Gloss. [6]

Samson Savill de Jong: This is a banger that resists much discussion, just pounding you with being really really good and fun and HOT (but not, funnily, at all sexy). It needs a third verse, as it's over just as it really gets going, but ultimately probably better to leave you wanting more than wishing it was over -- though I find it hard to imagine this couldn't have stretched all the way to 3 minutes. [8]

Ian Mathers: It's good, but I've gotta knock it for three things (all possibly totally unfair, but that's the Jukebox babey!!!!!): 1. "Mickey" is a fine song but I am so sick of this kind of interpolation; 2. it reminds me at least by implication of "Vroom Vroom," and you, ma'am, are no "Vroom Vroom"; 3. it's only my second favourite 2023 soundtrack Charli XCX is featured on. [6]

Leah Isobel: Enough time has passed that we can admit Crash was mid, right? That in marking the moment in which Charli finally, actually committed to being a pop star, it also signaled her turn from real emotion to two-dimensional shtick? That her fanbase not only enabled this particular turn, but made it her only viable option? That her career is now defined by the need to please a group of people who treat her work as impersonal meme-bait instead of creative output from a real person? That, viewed in this light, the fact that "Speed Drive" has become her biggest hit in a decade makes perfect sense, even though it's the unsatisfying sonic equivalent of a single leftover french fry, drenched in grease? That pop stardom is, in itself, the reduction of a real personality and perspective into a flat and marketable image; that the aching, sincere heart of True Romance is actually dead and buried; that my youth is never coming back; that all I have left is this shitty, misogynistic world? And that, despite everything, I am physically and emotionally incapable of scoring a Charli XCX song that samples fucking "Cobrastyle" lower than this? [4]

Tara Hillegeist: It says a great deal about Charli's grasp on how to make hedonistic abandon actually catchy, even after the multiple ways that particular approach to imperial phases has shown their ass, that she can nearly faceplant on a still-mangled enunciation of "kawaii" and yet almost get away scot-free with her brazen interpolation of "Hey Mickey." I can yet imagine this scoring a campily villainous dance number in a Russel T. Davies SFnal dramedy on BBC Three and working. Sadly, Rusty's currently on contract to Disney instead, so an entirely different sort of Toymaker seems to have run off with the obvious bait for tiresome queens at present, and I'm not sure the vibe quite comes together as the prophecy was meant to foresee. Too bad. It'd be an [8] if it did, but only hypothetically. [3]

Nortey Dowuona: The problem with "Speed Drive" isn't the flat, pedestrian drum programming, even though that roots the song to the ground and never lets it become the exciting driving song it's meant to be. The problem is Charli constantly pushing forward in her music to embrace the more compelling and vivid music of the late '10s, only to be over-praised for a competent rehash of already marked territory by her elders. The same happened to Earl Sweatshirt, who doubled back to play in more conventional positions then, after the praise, re-doubled down on his direction. The way to engage with their music is to stop jumping up to beg them to pander to our changing taste and the industry's desire to cling to conventional wisdom. Let the Charli XCX of 2014 go -- she doesn't exist anymore, Charli's competent Toni Basil cover notwithstanding. Maybe actually trust them to chart their own paths -- you crafted your own, right? [6]

Frank Falisi: The streamlining of Charli's glitch-heat into soundtrack-ready radio-licking songs is good! PC Music was always a project about products, caring and careful as it was. Pop is a product about the project of being alive -- it's its own experimentation, it doesn't require archness. But to be alive is to seek out live wires and hearts to plug into, to give shape to. The pastiche that has haunted Charli's work in recent years takes as its engine dead objects: nostalgia (Crash), flippancy ("Hot Girl", Bottoms), and now, incorporation (Barbie). Can you feel a song begin to think of itself as servicing an occasion instead of a feeling? But you don't have to rope in career tea-leafing to know "Speed Drive" is plain boring. More like a treatment for a song than a composition moving through ideas, it cannibalizes the occasion of "Vroom Vroom" for a compensatory GM tie-in, settling for chorus as brand shoutout and production that's nearly apologizing for itself. Haters -- Lovers? Likers? I can't imagine a human being loving this song -- will tell me it's a fun, short song written for a fun movie that's been over-think-pieced and that doesn't deserve the hyper-scrutiny it received. I still think we deserve better than just "just" as far as the product-as-art future Barbie takes to be inevitable. I also think -- whatever their occasion -- all the song sequences in the film felt disposably-conceived, thinking a little of partnering with the image and thinking a lot about servicing the partner, which is the brand. Maybe pop music in cinematic space has always been product placement of a kind. Or worse, once it was a way to show love through intertextuality and now it's the moving image as Tumblr page, a cloud of association, a hungry rolodex of fits. And the suggestion of a pleasurable essence isn't the presence of pleasure. I know there's no purity, I don't want purity. But you have to let "want" in, have to want "want" to mean more than "get." Otherwise it's the experimental rendered in a language we already know. What I mean is: every day the inclusion of "Boom Clap" in The Fault in Our Stars feels surer. [2]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

[vampire-the-askerade]

Hello! How are ya?

If you're in the mood, could you write something for Strauss x f!tremere that works really hard, maybe even *too* hard? Like, borderline thinking she will be killed or something if she fails (like college, where is she failed she would be terribly behind), so he shows up to her room to check on her and she is slouched over notes and almost hyperventilating so he has to calm her down and reassure her? General fluff and cuteness. <3

[Hello! I’m doing alright. So sorry this took a bit to get here, I’ve had the worst brain fog lately so words hated me for like a week or something, haha. Hopefully it was worth the wait though :)]

Strauss x f! Reader

There were many things that Strauss had learned during his many years of being a regent. One of these things was the difference between when someone hadn’t been seen in a while because they were busy and when someone hadn’t been seen in a while to the point of it being concerning. Such was what he suspected the case to be with you tonight.

When he had seen you at the end of the night before, it seemed like you were stressed about something, though he was not able to tell what that was. You had seemed troubled, but not so much that it was alarming at the time. However, Strauss had neither seen nor heard you at all tonight which became concerning as it was now pushing 1:00 in the morning. This was more than enough time for you to have risen from the hold of the morning and come down from your room; even if it was not to report to him, then for a myriad of other reasons.

That is why Strauss had made his way up to the door of your room and began knocking. It was gentle at first, but he then gave another, more firm rap at the door when you didn’t answer even after he called your name. Eventually, enough was enough and he was turning the doorknob which he found was unlocked, and announced himself as he let himself in.

The sight that he saw when he was in the room wasn’t anything that Strauss had not seen before, at least in one form or another. He had thought that you weren’t likely to fall prey to major burnout, but here you were, hunched over your desk, shoulders shaking, and so much into your despair that you probably didn’t even comprehend that he was there, at least not fully.

“Childe,” Strauss called softly, placing a hand on your shoulder. “What troubles you?”

It seemed that you did not notice him as previously thought, but you did little more than gasp a bit before your breathing went back to its stunted attempts to even itself. If he was going to find out what was happening then he was going to have to stop your hyperventilating.

Once again from his experience of being a regent for so long, Strauss was often prepared for most situations that could arrive. And, though perhaps not the most coddling of people naturally, he wasn’t completely without empathy; some understanding of people was useful to have, be that for ill or good. Reaching into his jacket pocket, he pulled out a small vial with a flat bottom. Popping the lid off of it he sat it on your desk out of the way of where you were lying your head and arms. Soon a soft and calming aroma was wafting into the air.

This was already starting to help you calm down, but it wouldn’t do the job alone. However, Strauss was hopeful that now you would be able to explain at least something about what had happened.

“Now, if you could, tell me what you have been doing.” It was a command, but a gentle one.

“I…I have been studying the… the….”

You seemed like you were still having trouble talking clearly much less explaining things, but you were able to sit up a bit more and motioned to the material on your desk.

Looking it over, Strauss could see that it was indeed something that he had assigned to you a few nights prior, and stressed only last night how imperative it was for you to learn it.

He should have known to be a bit more cautious with his insistency as this was indeed something that many young Tremere would often fret over seeing as it was one of the first things they would have to present to a higher member of The Pyramid themselves rather than having their regent do so. But, once again, you being one of his most promising pupils in quite some time led him to mistakenly believe that you were somehow immune to this anxiety.

Strauss gave a thoughtful hum, “I see,” he seemed to be disappointed, though at his own shortcomings in this situation rather than anything that you were doing. “And, for how long have you been studying?”

You gave a shaky breath, deep yet still troubled. The fact that you were breathing at all was concerning as the one of only reasons for kindred to partake in the act was to try to calm their nerves, a soothing method leftover from their past human life. There was an equally shaken exhale before you responded, “Since last night.”

“When did you revive and start your studies again tonight?”

“I didn’t.”

“Beg pardon?”

You froze for a moment when you thought that you might have offended him somehow with your answer. However, a glance in his direction let you know that he was truly puzzled and not wanting you to expound your answer in apology.

“I was awake the whole morning.” You explained.

At this Strauss gave a sigh, an exasperated and almost woeful sigh.

“To be awake with the sun is something that even seasoned kindred can struggle with. It was neglectful for you to attempt something so foolish.” He was correcting, but it still held the gentle tone that he had maintained since he had come into your room.

“Neglectful?” Your question came in a mumble.

“That is correct: neglectful. To both your health and your studies.”

“But-“

“Yes, I know. You stayed awake this whole time to study the required material.” Strauss interrupted, something that he only did when he thought that teaching was more important than manners, and thus catching your attention.

“And, tell me, childe, did your actions result in a better understanding of your reading, or did it upset you to the point of being ill?”

You didn’t answer. You didn’t need to as you both knew the state you were in right now. Strauss wasn’t going to let you delve back into your sorrow, though your body threatened to return to its violent sobs at any moment.

“Worry not. I am not angry with you. This whole ordeal is partially my fault. As your regent, I should have better prepared and worked with you rather than expecting you to be able to accomplish all of this work alone.”

There was something more soft about this side about Strauss; something that you could have sworn you had never seen him show to anyone else before. And, to be honest, he thought so as well. Though he might never admit it verbally, or perhaps even mentally, he did have at least a bit of a soft spot for you.

A small and endeared smile made its way to his face without his knowledge as he continued, once again placing a hand on your shoulder. “My erring was due to you being very bright. You excel in so many other things that I had thought you could handle something of this caliber with ease as well. That, however, was unfair of me to expect of you.”

It seemed that you were starting to settle, but not fully. Strauss, not wanting to make you more stressed by feeling like he was eyeing you like a hawk, decided that he should give you space for a while.

“You are to spend the rest of the night away from your studies. I do not care how you use your time, as long as it is away from those books and your notes of them.” He instructed, this time in a more firm and demanding tone so that you knew how serious he was about it.

“But, what about the exam? It's coming up soon and you told me that if I don’t do well then- then-“

“Do not worry about that now.” Strauss once again cut in to keep you from spiraling again. He also scolded himself for telling you of the student who did so poorly with his tone, memory, and presentation that the invigilator used Blood Boil on him. That was a yarn that he most certainly should have saved for after the examination. But, once again, he underestimated the stress this whole thing would place on you.

He started to make his way to the door. “You shall do fine. More than fine; you shall do well. I have as much confidence in you as I have had in all of my other students combined. That is if you rest and allow your mind to achieve its full potential. An overworked mind is an underutilized one. If the path of knowledge is not clear, then the haze of clouded memory with prevent it from passing.”

Strauss had to stop himself from giving another platitude. He was trying to calm you right now, not teach another lesson. So, he ended his time in your room by saying, “Rest and be sure that you do not make yourself go mad by staying in this room. Be sure to walk about if you need to. As you are aware, we are the only ones in the Chantry at this time, so you will not be disturbing anyone if you are wandering. Farewell.”

By the way you were looking when he shut the door, Strauss felt it was safe to leave you alone. He was also hopeful that you would sleep, or rather, the vampiric equivalent of it. He couldn’t be too outwardly affectionate with you as his role of regent was supposed to be equally attentive to all in his charge, and showing you favor would call his qualifications into question.

However, he did make sure to, “forget,” his aromatic vile on your desk. Not only to leave you with its soothing properties for a while longer but also so that he could return to you later when he went to retrieve it.

[silvertsundere]

Silver Talks AniManga (22/09/24)

Post is a day late cause I was catching up to Magilumiere and ended pretty late so I just went to bed instead of finishing up the post and going even later. It was well worth staying up late cause it is THAT good. Looooots of yappin on this one, not just for that but some of the other stuff too. Buncha stuff ending next week too so more yapping then

blue - finale/completed green - new series/new to me pink - catching up

Anime

Plus-Sized Elf Ep12 (Finale)

I was going back and forth between 5 and 4 but ended up here. If it was normal lenght instead of short like this it would've ended up as a 4 for sure and maybe even a 3. But at the end of the day the show knew what it is. Just an ecchi show that served as a tool to promote the manga. They never did anything fancy and the animation was always the bare minimum with a lot of stills and pans. It being uncensored was a surprise for sure but there's not much more to say about it. There is only one joke and it's "damn this girl is thicc as hell", but it's never used in a negative way cause the author is clearly into it so it's not terrible. Tho it is also kinda like danberu with it giving recommendations for a buncha easy exercises anyone can do to lose weight and the such, which I didn't know was a thing cause I only ever saw the gags getting posted so that was cool to see. But at the end of the day, if you're interested in the series you'd be better off reading it anyway since synedoche's art is better

Manga

Yoshida Lemon Drops Ch1

This actually came out last month (and scanlations like 2 weeks ago) but I only now decided that I wanted to start it. I thought it was monthly because of that but apparently it's up to chap 4, there's just not been any more scanlated chaps, oof... But anyway, that was a decent little first chap just setting up the premise. I'ts a rom com between the most popular girl at uni and a guy that's not sure what he's doing at uni in the first place. They used to be together in a club in HS. The twist is that she confesses right at the end of first chap instead of it taking a billion years, it was pretty cute too. The artstyle might look familiar to you and that's because Wakaki has done many a series before including, his biggest one, TWGOK and more recently 365 Days to the Wedding which is getting an anime next season. I've never read or watched any of their other series but I know they're pretty well liked by people who have so I decided to give this new one a try. Hopefully scanlators pick it back up again soon, Mega just told me that the people who did this ch1 also did all of 365 so there's hope 🙏

Magilumiere Co. Ltd. Ch1 - 125

I've been meaning to read this for a long time and finally decided to do it now. Anime is starting on a couple weeks so I'm right on time tehe But anyway, the first chap was really good. I was already expecting good things cause my buddy Mega has always praised it since the start but I was still surprised. I wish every new series on WSJ could have first chapters this good. They did a great job introducing the mains and giving us a little taste of how the world works, plus the art is great, the style really reminds me of early MHA which is a big compliment. I'll go back to reading now and then give some more thoughts when I finish catching up (or if something comes up meanwhile.) Alright I caught up with it and all I can say is, it's peak, it's just peak. As I was reading it I caught myself putting it in the same headspace as Kaiju. Maybe cause they're both Jump+ titles? Maybe cause they're both different takes on their respective genres? I'm not sure but I did. And as much as I like Kaiju, and I like it quite a bit, it feels like Magilumiere blows it out the water. While I like the action scenes in Kaiju a lot more cause it has better coreography and a lot flashier scenes, everything else about Magi is just better, including the art. I think the biggest difference between the two is how much better the pacing is in this compared to it, but the characters also feel a lot more fleshed out unlike in Kaiju where that's only the case for like 4 or 5 of them. The only exception to this is Koshigaya but she's going to get a little arc soon so yeah. Me and Mega discussed it a bit before I went to bed, after catching up, and we think it'll still have 30-40 more chaps so I'll be looking forward to reading this for the next few months. Anyway I'm rambling a lot and still feel like I forgot some stuff I wanted to say but I'll stop here lol

Just one last thing I wanted to add, you can really tell how much the author loves and respects the genre which is refreshing to see. I wish other magical girl series that try to put a "twist" on the genre were half this good. They really do get it

Hakutaku Ch1

Well that was alright, I guess. Certainly the weakest out of the 3 in this serialization round. I wasn't expecting much out of it so can't say I was disappointed but wasn't impressed either. The art was good at least, the artist worked as an assistant for Black Clover before. It's about a boy who gamefies most aspects of his life meeting a girl that wants to make games and her convincing him to make a game with her. This felt a lot like a one shot to me but it's a serialization, so we'll see how the next few chaps go but I won't be expecting too much

[spaceacethespookypansfanfics]

Could you do a CandyBats Christmas/holiday fic pls <3 thx

It’s a little rushed as I’m a day late (sorry), but here’s a little Christmas fic of just Kevin and Streber being domestically soft. Hopefully everyone enjoys it. And Merry belated Christmas everyone.

The house smells like egg nog and chocolate. Two odd things to mix together. It's making Kevin's stomach churn as he hangs up the mistletoe in the kitchen partition. Streber’s out at the store so it's the perfect time for Kevin to put up the decoration.

He likes to pretend he doesn't care for such things, it's embarrassing, but secretly, Kevin loves to do sappy and cute things with his boyfriend.

With the mistletoe secured in arguably one of the most common spots in the house, Kevin feels pretty satisfied with himself. He steps down off the stool and folds it up to put away before Streber gets back.

The house really is coming together in the strangest way as Kevin remarks at all of Streber’s decorations. Everything is still Halloween themed (little skeletons atop mantles, paper bats hung on the walls as garlands, tiny pumpkin candle lights on shelves) except Streber painstakingly took the time to put little Santa hats on everything, the skeletons, the bats, the pumpkins, and somehow it works. Kevin can feel the Christmas spirit despite being surrounded by Halloween memorabilia.

The Christmas tree is another thing however. A white, plastic tree, absolutely covered in black and orange ornaments of vary designs of Jack o’ lanterns, skulls, bats, Halloween banners draped across. The topper is even a witch’s hat. Streber loves it, it’s his pride and joy of the Christmas season.

Kevin doesn’t really have an opinion towards the tree (it could be a little more christmasy) but Streber’s huge grin every time he sees it makes it worth it to Kevin.

Just as Kevin is closing the storage closet after having stashed away the stool, he hears the front door open roughly.

“Kevin? Little help?” Streber calls from the door. He must’ve gone nuts at the store and is now overwhelmed with shopping bags. Kevin makes his way over, a twinge in his bad leg with every step that he pointedly ignores.

At the front door, Streber is juggling four shopping bags in his arm, another three at his feet. His keys are hanging from the lock, the lanyard swaying. Kevin holds back a laugh. He grabs Streber’s key out of the door and wraps the lanyard around Streber’s neck through the bags. He leans in like he’s going to kiss the man and Streber leans in, following Kevin’s obvious signs, only for Kevin to grab the most precarious bag out of Streber’s arms.

Streber makes a noise of shock, “wha—hey!” He playfully frowns at Kevin’s teasing. Kevin shrugs, an almost shit eating grin making its way onto his face.

He grabs the three other shopping bags off from the ground, utilizing the hauling methods he’s learned from work (moving inventory and all that). Kevin makes his way through the doorway, his leg throbbing with each step and the new added weight.

Streber follows with the remaining bags in his arms. He kicks the door closed behind him. “Thanks. I got more stuff to bake cookies. You’re still up to handing them out with me, right?” He asks, stumbling slightly behind Kevin through the walkway. Neither takes off their shoes. They’ll do that once all the groceries are in the kitchen.

“Of course. Looking forward to it.” Only when he is roped into it via bonding time with Streber, will Kevin willingly seek out children’s company. It’s only because Streber likes kids and likes being a good, fun neighbour that everyone thinks highly of.

Kevin makes his way unto the kitchen and dumps all the shopping bags in his arms onto the island. Streber follows him. He didn’t seem to notice the newly added decoration Kevin put up while he was gone.

“Awesome!” Still it doesn’t seem to matter that he didn’t notice because Streber, impassioned, kisses Kevin on the cheek. “You’re the best.” He pulls away, focusing on the groceries now.

Kevin is left, a blushing fool. He’s weak in the knees for Streber just inherently, but every time the man pulls a stunt like that, Kevin has to fight to stay standing.

Streber is humming something vaguely similar to this is Halloween but it’s a little too out of pitch to be absolutely sure while he takes out the ingredients for sugar cookies.

Now that he’s gotten started, Streber won’t stop until the cookies are cooled and decorated. This will be a few hour affair. So Kevin goes to the living room. He’s on standby, but otherwise, he doesn’t want to get in Streber’s way while he’s baking. Plus his leg has been throbbing for a bit now and he could really stand to sit for a bit.

~

“Here you go, egg nog just as you requested.” Kevin hands Streber the cup of egg nog he asked for. The living room is dimmed and and kitchen light is off. All that illuminates the house is Streber’s little pumpkin tea lights. It’s the perfect atmosphere to watch a movie.

“Thaaank you!” Streber replies gleefully. He takes an immediate and large sip through his straw. Kevin takes his seat next to him on the couch, setting his own glass of oat milk on a coaster on the coffee table.

The movie’s all queued up and ready to go. They’re watching The Nightmare Before Christmas because it’s Streber’s favourite holiday movie. Kevin likes the morbidity of it more than the holiday aspect of it so he’s always down to watch it with Streber at Christmas.

“Man. This is the perfect way to end Christmas. I’m definitely going to bed right after this,” Streber laughs, leaning his head on Kevin’s shoulder. Kevin can relate, they’d spent all afternoon and evening, going door to door and handing out the cookies Streber made. They’re both beat and a movie sounds like the perfect way to relax for the rest of the night just the two of them.

“You said it.” Kevin grabs the remote from the coffee table and hits play. Streber must really be as tired as he says, because he isn’t reciting the opening lines along with the narrator like he usually does. Kevin huffs a quiet laugh to himself, wrapping his arm around Streber’s waist, pulling him in closer.

This was a nice, quiet Christmas and Kevin couldn’t have had it any better.

[hyunverse]

you’re so right hyunjin would 100% write you literally anything you like or would just come up w smth new whenever he felt like it. also would def just give you artwork he made for you 🥲. imagine him giving you little pieces of your fave animal or his fave pic of you guys together </////3 god id be in shambles. also i did not realize malaysia was that hot ?? i couldn’t do it i hateeeeee the heat. but then i also hate the cold. like i’ll literally be going to school in -20C weather where i live😭😭 it’s so awful. so spring and fall are 100% my times of the year like i’m always happiest at those times bc the weather is just normal

so true men are just men. i think we got lucky w our skz’s zodiacs. bc changbin is the only leo man that can exist okay 🙅🏻‍♀️ he is nothing like these average ass horrible leo men. he’s bias wrecking me so hard lately like he’s literally fighting w hyunjin rn for the spot. i can hear them bickering in the back of my head 😒😒

ALSO RIGHT i can’t help but baby him 💔💔 same w seungmin i just want to squish his cheeks 💔💔💔 manifesting seungmo forehead rn 🙏🏼. SO IMPRESSED W THE BOWLING BTW THATS AWESOMEEEE. i hope you had sm fun 😋 i’ll have to try it again soon and lyk. most likely i’ll be shit but it’s worth a try. my day was not the besttttt i’m rly stressed out and have a ton of crap going on but seeing ur response made my day ^_^. i saw it and blushed and squealed not even kidding. ur the sweetest you always put a smile on my face. i hope your day is good today :)) i think it’s like 6 am there rn which is so funny bc i’m about to eat dinner. like it’s cool to think we’re doing our opposite routines at the same time. does that even make sense ?? 😭 this is what i mean w the rambling i’m just 💔 LOL

alsoooooo i’m gonna reply to your other post here too and say i’m so glad you moved on from those pos’s. relationships suck and that’s why i read fanfics like yours to fill the void 🙏🏼. i’m jk i’ve also moved on but im a lover girl at heart so not being in a relationship is legit torture. like i just want to talk to someone and be loved and like go on dates 🙄 KISSES AND HUGS FOR U THO you deserve all of them bae <33

- 🐈‍⬛ (spammed again omg what is my PROBLEM ?? you bring out the talk in me and most ppl can’t do that <33 i can’t help it ur too kind)

hyun <3 painting u <3 with a fond smile in his face <3 they don’t make men like him anymore!

malaysia IS hot bae. . . it’s located at the equator </3 spring and fall seems so pretty, especially fall!! like dawggg i wanna be jumping on piles of fallen leaves too mane 😔🙏 dress up cute ‘n stuff. i will be showing up everywhere lookin like rory gilmore 💯 everytime i see an autumn grwm i gotta stop myself from kicking and throwing a tantrum cs i don’t live somewhere with the four seasons 🤸‍♀ -20°C weather is insane i would literally drown myself in boiling water 🧘‍♀

the thought of changjin bickering IS SO FUNNY like those two istg. . . love how hyunjin rejects every single one of changbin’s affections LMAO i always laugh at them. binnie in the samsung ad got the girlies going CRAZY LIKEEEEE. . .

i get the desire to be loved tbh. likeeee feeling loved is so nice but at the same time i feel like i have no mental span for a relationship anymore 💀 i am so busy during the times i am in campus so having a bf wud probably be disastrous for me.

u need to come bowling with me i Will defeat u 💯 LMFAOOO. or maybe you, too, will find out that ure actually a hidden bowling prodigy. u never know ykyk. also yeah timezones are so odd but it is somewhat painfully endearing. . . ? just two people doing opposite routines but still being able to be friends at the same. isnt that so cute omg. i’m sorry your day was crap my love, here i giv u minho pics to hopefully make ur day today better than yesterday’s!!

mwahmwah sending u my love sweetheart <3

[justcyrinne]

The last time I made a Sunday Currently post was in 2021 on my old Tumblr blog. Now I want to do this weekly series again and hopefully, I am going to be consistent this time.

Reading

Normal People by Sally Rooney. I started reading this book last year in ebook format. But I stopped reading at page 110 because my eye strain and astigmatism got really bad due to too much screentime. I guess I am really a physical book girlie. I started looking online for a physical copy and didn’t find the perfect copy until last February. I only read it though on my free time (alternately with The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD). Now I am currently at page 65 (I reread from the beginning when the book arrived just because).

Thinking

Whether to buy a microwave oven or not is one of the thoughts that has been occupying my mind lately. I do weekly food prep and I am tired of heating my food on the stove. The washing of used pans and cleaning the kitchen right after takes so much time. I live alone so there’s no one to delegate this chore to. It takes me 5 to 10 minutes to heat all the foods because I only have 1 burner stove, plus I’ll spend another 5 to 10 minutes in aftercare. I know this purchase is a need but I still am not convinced whether it will be worth spending 5k for or not.

Praying

For God’s guidance and peace of mind. I badly need those two right now.

Needing

Aside from guidance and peace of mind, I think I need to take a break from work because I can feel that I am about to get burnt out. I feel so drained lately that I could no longer focus on my work. I can no longer finish my tasks before deadline because I get distracted so easily and I am having a difficult time getting back to what I was working on. It’s honestly frustrating. Yeah, I need to take a break from work. Not sure when though :(

Loving

But despite feeling drained and exhausted due to work-related stress, I just love how I am living alone in a peaceful place where I can spend quiet time as much as I want to.

Watching

Queen of Tears and Can’t Buy Me Love on Netflix. I decided to watch Queen of Tears because I recently finished Penthouse (downed 3 seasons in 1 week lol) and I needed a banlaw series because Penthouse was quite heavy. My brain needed some detox from all the death scenes and verbal abuse… huuu!! Queen of Tears was tagged as comedy but the plot is getting thicker each episode. I kinda regret starting it but, oh well, I am now hooked. I have no choice haha! With Can’t Buy Me Love, I am only watching it for the SnoRene plot. I love them so much they’re so cute together lol!! I also recently watched Past Lives because I was finally emotionally ready lol. FYI. The name of the cafe in Penthouse was 인연 (InYun). InYun was also mentioned in Past Lives. Skl.

[navxry]

🎟️

This is your ticket to go on a ramble of anything that’s on your mind or anything you want to go ahead and share! Lore, creations, thoughts, anything that’s interesting you lately.

Anon, I'm afraid you're giving me full rights to rant about the worst things in my head (/exag, it's not that bad I promise)

Anyways uh read more time!

Lowkey had thoughts of running a certain story in a different blog, or making a game for it. It's still in the works because I need to polish up a few things, make it make sense, etc., but it's still up there.

The reason why is actually pretty simple: I feel like people don't like to interact when it's not about the reader, so I decided that maybe I should make a game. It's going to have its own variation + my own indulgent version (that will NEVER see the light of day in my other blogs, fuck you), but I'm not sure if people would enjoy it. I know my friends would, but would someone that I don't know like that?

Speaking of which, I already have the blog made. 2, actually! One is for another purpose, which would be a love letter blog for a fandom. I missed writing IDV because I've left the game (it was becoming too much for my phone </3 sad time gamers), so I decided to try a love letter format for Yan IDV residents. I doubt I'll get traction, but it's a cute idea and self indulgent in a way, because I get to write my faves being in a variety of levels of unhinged.

I think I'm more or less hesitant on the first idea because it feels like the initial reception just... Didn't pan out so well haha. It feels like I'm trying to show my own personal stories to the wind, but the wind refuses to even acknowledge it's existence. With this method though, I can at least say that at least the people that like it will know where to look for it.

Again, it still needs polishing, it's not done and I sure as hell KNOW that it'll take months if I took the game route. However, I think it'll be worth it if I just push myself to try. It's the only thing I can feasibly do, after all.

To my friends who supported it and even to the people that followed the story in silence: thanks. You guys make it bearable for me to try this method. It sucks that it'll be something I (most likely) won't do on that blog and transferring it would be tough, but so is life atp. I'm probably gonna most likely cut it with plan B's ending (I knew my initial plan won't work orz), so uh. We'll see how it goes, yeah?

(also I am kinda glad I didn't get to 200 followers there ironically because MOST ARE FUCKING BOTS AND SOME ARE MINORS LIKE HELLO??? So unfortunately I have to block them en masse and tbh? I'm gonna update my rules for that. I don't want minors interacting there no sir.)

(yes I'm talking to a few of you that interacted there while knowing y'all are minors/ageless in your blogs. Don't think I don't see you.)

Anyways ty anon for giving me the ticket to rant, I needed that. Hopefully this didn't sound so depressing oops.

[itshyuka]

I think I'll use this little guy as an emoji 🦜

First off!! What did you think of do it like that? It still hasn't grown on me 😭

This is gonna be a long ask 😬

How did you get covid?? Glad to know you're better now!!

What courses you failed? Was it because it was hard or it was getting too much? I think I'll become a villain if/when I fail 🦔

That talk about immune system reminded me of a cousin who was working in a kindergarten and she was telling about the kids coughing in hers and the teachers face 😭

Didn't know you are from Australia!! The accent is everything! I hope that in the future I can visit there, after I (hopefully) graduate and start working.

True!! Life truly is full of surprises

My crushing life always sabotages me!! For real. So the first one is from my class 😶 and he's super smart, really cute and is into this one thing that I'm really into too!! How fantastic! But after watching him I saw that he wears a ring and after, you know, some stalking yeah he's definitely taken.

The 2nd one is from another course. Now, I remember seeing him during the first week there and thinking damn he's really cute!! After making some friends in class this other girl, my colleague, was talking about her crush on him to our group slsjskks and I was like well not like I was gonna make a move anyway. But!!! Turns out he's taken too 🫠

There's probably a lot other more, there's this one so far I have only seen twice, at the bus stop. He wears glasses /actually all three of them do!!/ And god such a cutie, no idea if he's taken or not, but with the way my lucky works if he's not he's gonna be soon. All the guys I end up liking get a gf after some time.

Don't know if this is worth noting, I feel like a teenager but I'm actually over 21, and definitely a late bloomer, still waiting to bloom!

🦜

hahaha that’s okay, love a long ask in this house 😌 also ahhhh i'm so sorry this is like a 3 month old ask HAHAHAHHA

anyway to summarise really quickly! do it like that was okay, it wasn't my favourite. the recent collab though! that's a bop. also i think i got COVID on the flight back home from a holiday asjdfh it affected me for like a solid two weeks after i recovered as well 💀 also yes to loving the australian accent hasfjkashjkf i love having it even if mine isn't the strongest.

i completely failed one of my tax courses and then i bungled a finance exam or two hahahahahah it was all becoming too much at this point bc i KNEW i didn’t want to be an accountant anymore, so my motivation to study was blah. but i’d already committed 4 years, what was one extra year…. so i decided to just finish it and move on to a masters 🥲

ANYWAY THE IMPORTANT PART!!! I saw your update about ring guy being actually married which sucks but oh well. it's always the cute guys that are already taken zzzz HOW ARE ALL THE OTHERS????? I'M IN NEED OF UPDATES 💖 also it's okay to be a late bloomer!! i wish i was single more in my early 20s askdjfh (but i feel like that also comes from a wacky place of privilege to some.... maybe...... either way wholesome authentic friendships are also AMAZING relationships too!!!! i'm only now realising how important friends are to me vvv late in the game)

[antimatterz]

Hi there! I'm back after a few days of doing missions and farming and everyone is now level 50! Well, almost everyone, I still have three more that needs their ascension materials but I have to wait for a bit after I poured out all trailblaze power to get exp materials. How are you? Seems like self-aware au is becoming your new agenda. Once I saw your three updates, I couldn't be anymore excited and look forward to some more. There is so many things you can think about when it comes to self-aware au, based on experience alone. I would love to write them, if only I had much motivation to do so.

After reading the fic about logging in at ungodly hours, I felt bad of all those days that I did not bother to sleep just to finish the Belobog arc and jump to Xianzhou. Not to mention the number of times I had to repeat to defeat Bronya and the Ebon Deer. It was 10 times for Bronya and the Ebon Deer was around 15 or 16. The Doomsday Beast only took me 3 times. My frustration during those times were at peak that I ranted over my friends about it. They don't even play Star Rail. And those sleepless nights still continue until now and I bet Stelle would have already bonk me with her bat. So it's super relatable and not to mention, cute. Probably before Dan Heng passes out, he makes sure that you had log out completely. And whether it reaches or not, he mumbles some good night and rest well to you. If Blade were able to do it, he would give you a playful flick on the forehead while sternly telling you to sleep already. He watches you as you log out and then he breathes out as a sigh of relief now that you are resting finally. Gepard would want to get out the system just to take care of you. Mr.Cold Feet is Mr. Cold Feet, man has many things up his sleeve, of course, he'll be up with you. And please someone help sleeping beauty ╥⁠﹏⁠╥

Mr. Luocha just arrived yesterday, and I keep getting Qingque, help. Hopefully, I'll get him or maybe Miss Yukong on the next pull (I'm so into being delusion that I start giving honorifics to fictional characters). I also read your Blade fic and also the one with Dan Heng. I really would like it if Blade joins my team but I don't know about Dan Heng. What if he doesn't come home like I may have run out of time or ran out of stellar jades? Delusional—what if Dan Heng sabotages each pull or Blade would avoid joining my team at all cost by dodging my pulls? Manifesting that we could get them at the next pull and we could also get the upcoming characters too.

aaa i'm sorry for getting back to you so late, i really wanted to take a moment to sit down to form a proper reply instead of coming up with something rushed, but i was kinda busy ;_; also this is a super long post because i added your other asks as well in order not to clog up the dash so i added a cut!

ooh good job! that's pretty neat! i have to admit that i don't even bother to level up all my characters. i bring them to lvl 20 and ascend them for the free warp but that's about it lol. but i miiiight lvl them up at some point because i've been hearing pretty good things about some of them and i kinda want to try them out too, you know? for example i used qingque in a trail and she did some pretty amazing numbers? so i feel like she's worth it to lvl up and build her! so yeah i'm currently prefarming to lvl my most-used characters to lvl 80 because i'm about to reach equilibrium lvl 5, but after that i might start working on my other characters! okay that was a whole story i'm sorry shdhfh.

that aside, i'm doing pretty good! as i mentioned before, i'm kinda busy but i try to find moments to write and relax so i'm holding up hehe. and yeah apparently? self-aware au is super fun to write and brainrot about and now i'm getting a lot of requests on it too! come to think of it, you're kind of the one who started this all! so thank you for that hehe.

to be fair, i'm procrastinating the trailblaze missions so i haven't encountered the ebon deer yet, i'm still somewhere around the part where we interrogate kafka lol. i'm sooo behind i know >.< maybe i should catch up? but i have like, zero motivation to do so help. and ooh that's so relatable. none of my friends play hsr so i have no one to talk to : ( i guess that's why i always go all out replying to your asks because i'm so happy that i get to ramble about dan heng and the game in general fjshdhd.

oh yes i can imagine stelle doing that! and aaa dan heng, he's secretly so worried about our sleeping schedule and the relief when we log out to sleep is real lol. also i can perfectly hear his tired goodnight y/n and it makes me really soft :< and yes gepard!!! he would totally get so frustrated because he can't get out to actually see you off to sleep, he's such a doting sweetheart :3

ooh congrats on getting him! i'm still hesitating whether to get him or not because i really want blade, kafka AND dan heng il, and i'm not sure how to pull that off without spending my entire bank account shfhdh. and well as i said before, i think qingque is actually pretty good? i hope she will come in useful for you! i'm solely pulling for miss yukong (miss yukong sounds great, i'm gonna use that hehe). i mean i think she buffs imaginary damage and i don't have/use any other imaginary characters but i just love her (and tingyun!!) so much that i had to have her. i have her at e1 now and i'm just hhhh i love my foxian ladies >_<

let's just hope dan heng and bladie can put their rivalry aside for our sake, because i dearly love both (okay if i have to pick one it will always be my beloved dan heng but hhh). but yes indeed, manifesting getting both!!

realistically speaking, it would be best to prepare for the worst when it comes to dan heng il, but i'm so attached to my boy, i don't want him to leave the crew.. what if we never see him again?? don't even wanna think about that >.< let's just hope hope hope it won't be that bad and that he gets to stay with us :< if not i will riot shfhdh.

i've been building her a little and so far she's doing okay? i mainly started using her because i needed a physical dps but then i saw her ult where she summons a massive angry chicken and i laughed out loud let me tell you that lol. she's far from completed yet, though, she's still a work in progress but i keep getting distracted by other characters oops?

hehe yep! you just inspired me and besides, i really appreciate you stopping by in my ask box so i just wanted to do a little something! i'm glad it made you happy :D

and yes of course! welcome to my lil' anon family!

aaa smiling dan heng?! i couldn't find the artwork sadly but that sounds lovely, his smile melts my heart >_< especially since it's so rare because his face is always so stoic. and oh i'm guilty of doing that too hehe.

hoyo knows what they're doing and it's not ok. now i not only have to save for dan heng il but also for his signature light cone ;_;

i saw that on tiktok !!!! and the way i gasped !!!! it's so insanely cool they're treating dan heng il like some kind of deity and i'm loving it, our man deserves this (i'm just not sure if my heart is ready to love this man even more?!!)

that can only mean one thing, right? he's getting close aaaaa i'm not prepared and i'm not sorry for the person i will become when he officially drops 3:)

[linorachas]

with the clarity of (nearly) a full night’s rest, I belatedly realized that my suggestion to get you to blink twice if you wanted me to message off of anon was silly 🫣😅 and so I thought I should just message you anyways off anon while the other message is still hopefully intact somewhere in your inbox, so you have the choice of responding however you want.

WHICH IS ALSO TO SAY (and the other reason for this message) — please don’t actually feel the need to respond to all or even any of it. I tend to always say a lot and I don’t mean to stress you out with any of it. as long as you’ve received it, I’m happy. - ❤️‍🩹

MDHDJSNF the message is still very much intact in my inbox but since you are here i will reply here instead <3 can i just say ❤️‍🩹 is so fitting because you patched up my silly little heart with your words 😞 so cute

first of all i am so sorry for the late reply turns out the migraine was a teaser for something worse (a fever) so i have spent the week just sleeping away the germs in my body and letting my white blood cells fight for me. i read ur message as soon as u sent it though and it helped me through the fever ;-;

your third point 😞😞😞😞 i sound like a broken record at this point but THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUUUUUUU "which of course isn’t to say that a number like that is indicative of how meaningful and enjoyable your writing is, but just that I know what a positive force praise like that can be and I just think you deserve more" GRUAGGAHAGGSWHJZDHDN you get me so much i say to myself time and time again that the numbers shouldn't mean so much to me and i shouldn't write for the sake of those numbers alone but i should write what i!!! want to personally read but of course i am only human and i will always still be affected by those the stupid little statistics 🫠 but it's not as bad as before and whenever i feel that way again i will come back to your asks and remind myself i'm worth more than numbers 😞❤️‍🩹

[can u believe we will be hugging for eternity.] [we are practically glued together at this point.] [we will mold together and become one.] [you cannot escape from me.]

i hope the big assignment that was looming over your head is off your hands and that you're relaxing now!!!! how was it??? was it graded??? is it a work thing??? if u got bad feedback i will personally come over there and keel them. (jk.... unless) (and replying to anons will Never be a pain omg its the highlight of my day week month year 🥹) (but i understand!!!!! if you want to stay anonymous u can ignore this and ask again in anon but either way i will keep referring to you as ❤️‍🩹 because i cannot get over how cuteeeee it is and how absolutely fitting it is 😞😞😞) (my little ❤️‍🩹!!!!!) (also my favorite color is lilac. whats yours :D) (this message only has 5 paragraphs but 8 IS FATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) (yes u r cool. i love u. pls come back)

[innytoes]

very happy to (hopefully) enable you to write more chaotic gay guys so how about "Willex + I needed a fake boyfriend for a sec but I didn't know you're actually kinda famous and now reporters are asking us uncomfortable questions"? <3

They were out 'incognito' as Reggie called it, which really boiled down to wearing things they usually didn't, plus sunglasses, and ducking out the side door of the hotel because Reggie made friends with the wait staff wherever they went and they let them escape through the kitchen.

"This is fool proof," Reggie said, beaming in a yellow smiley face sweater he stole off Julie and a pair of shorts that belonged to Alex. His hair wasn't in its usual perfectly imperfect style, flopping over his forehead and onto the reflective orange sunglasses. Alex fidgeted in Luke's Flannel Of Sadness, Reggie's black shirt pulled tight over his chest. He'd shoved Luke's grey beanie over his hair, since that was usually something the paparazzi noticed. "And so worth it, I've been dying to get something other than fancy hotel food."

"I swear to god if you dragged me out here to get a McMuffin I'm murdering you in this alley," Alex said, peering out to see if the coast was clear because casually, very casually walking out. Reggie skipped along, beaming.

"No, dude, there's this cute little coffee shop that has great reviews a few blocks away." Reggie showed him his phone. "They make cookies shaped like corgis."

Okay, those were pretty cute. "Fine."

The café was charming, with pastel colours and lots of food shaped like cute things and fun and interesting sounding drinks. Nobody seemed to have followed them, so they took a seat at one of the tables and just... let themselves be themselves for a while. Snarking, joking, not worrying about whatever they said being spread across the entire internet the next day. (Reggie did take some cute pictures of their food to post once they got to their next stop on the tour, because this place deserved the shout out once they were free and clear.)

"Hey babe, sorry I'm late," a voice behind him said, before someone slid in next to him on the bench, pressing close.

"Uuuum," Alex said, voice squeaking embarrassingly high at the arm around his waist. "I think-"

"Please play along and pretend to be my boyfriend for like five seconds, this guy won't leave me alone and he's followed me into two other places already," the voice said quietly into his ear. Reggie bit his lip, looking behind them, clearly assessing how much of a threat this guy was.

"Hey, you made it!" he said brightly, before leaning over. "Alex, if you don't want to be the fake boyfriend, I will, that dude over there looks shady as fuck." Alex turned a little, looking at the guy on the bench.

Oh. He was beautiful. Long hair, tanned skin, and gorgeous brown eyes. "Fuck off, Reg, you already have a boyfriend and a girlfriend, stop being greedy," he said, flushing and leaning over to press a chaste kiss against the guy's cheek.

"Hi, gorgeous," Alex said louder, so the people around them could hear. The pet name felt a bit embarrassing, but well, the guy really was gorgeous. "I missed you." He couldn't take his eyes off the stranger, especially when he smiled a wide, pleased smile. They made lovey-dovey small-talk until Reggie said the guy had left, and the stranger slumped against him.

"Thank you so much," he said. "I'm Willie."

"Alex," he said, trying not to think about how Willie's hand was still around his waist, how Willie was still pressed against him.

“Reggie,” Reggie said, getting up. “You want a drink, Willie? Our treat.” He gave Alex an unsubtle wink, and he flushed. Willie either didn’t seem to notice or was nice enough not to say anything about it, and asked Reggie for a boba. He disappeared towards the counter, and the guy turned to him again.

“Really, thanks. I was getting a little freaked out when he wouldn’t take no for an answer, and I didn’t have my board on me to make a quick escape.”

“You skateboard?” Alex asked, and he tried not to be mesmerized by the wide grin as Willie told him about it. They fell into an easy conversation, even with Reggie trying to talk Alex up like the world’s most earnest but unsubtle wingman. Willie didn’t seem to mind, though, smiling at Alex and flirting with him as if they actually were boyfriends. Willie was funny, and cool, and really interesting, and he seemed equally interested in what Alex (and Reggie) had to say. It was pretty much the best thing that had happened to Alex all year.

Or it was. They’d reluctantly had to go to get to sound check on time (Reggie hurrying back to the counter to buy a box full of cute-shaped cookies), and he and Willie had exchanged numbers. But when they came outside, they were swarmed with reporters, shouting questions at them. Specifically, questions about Alex’ Secret Relationship.

“So much for your fool-proof plan,” he hissed at Reggie, who looked sheepish. He turned to Willie to apologize, and the guy stared at him, wide-eyed, before turning to reporters with what could only be described as a gleeful, slightly manic grin.

“One at a time, please!”  he called, and the reporters seemed a little surprised. Usually when Alex was swarmed with paparazzi, he just kept his head down and powerwalked away.

“How long have you been dating?” one woman asked.

“Forty-six years!” Willie beamed.

“Alex, why did you keep your relationship a secret when you’re such an outspoken advocate for the LGBTQ community?”

“So you guys wouldn’t crash out dates like you’re doing now, asshole,” Willie said, stepping slightly in front of Alex. He grabbed his hand, and Alex squeezed it back, not sure what to make of this, but not sure how to stop him either.

“What’s your name?” Another one asked.

“Throckmorton von Beaverhausen,” Willie said with the utmost confidence. Reggie was trying to hide a grin, like the idea of just lying to reporters tickled him pink. It probably did. Alex would have to give Flynn a heads up she had to sit Reggie down and tell him he was not allowed to mess with reporters. “Now, are you going to ask us how our date was? This place has the best boba I’ve ever had, along with the cutest cookies in the world. Show ‘em, Reg!”

Reggie beamed and opened the box, chattering about how nice the cupcakes were too, giving the lady behind the counter a big thumbs up through the window. She waved back, a little in shock.

“Now, we really have to get where we’re going so we still have time to make out beforehand, if you’ll excuse us!” Willie said, pulling Alex along with him as he broke through the crowd and hailing a cab, hustling both of them inside. Once the cab had left the reporters in the dust, he turned to Alex.

“Okay, so first off, what the hell are you guys famous for?” he asked.

“Um, we’re in a band. Julie and the Phantoms?” Alex said, a little embarrassed, and highly uncomfortable at being squished in the middle seat.

“Tell your friends!” Reggie piped up. “Alex is the drummer, I play bass.”

“Oh, okay. I’ve heard your songs on the radio. They’re a bop.” Willie nodded in approval, and Alex felt his stomach flutter a little. He liked their music!

“You... you said first of all,” he said after a moment, when Willie didn’t continue. He was still holding Alex’ hand. “Is there a second of all?”

“Yeah,” Willie said. “Where the hell are we going? Because I just told the cabbie to drive like we were in an action movie and while I don’t think he minds if he just cruise around town all day, he might need an address.” The cab driver shrugged, and Alex awkwardly gave him the address to the venue they were playing at. They were going to be so late, Luke was going to kill them. Julie was going to kill them. Hell, Flynn was going to kill them too.

Except when they got to the venue, they found Luke and Julie and Flynn sat in the front row of the audience, crowded around a phone. “Well hi there, Throckmorton!” Flynn called.

“You better have saved some of those cookies for us, Reggie,” Luke threatened, beaming when he was given a sloth and a kiss on the cheek. Reggie followed up by giving Julie a unicorn (and a kiss), and Flynn a dinosaur (and a fistbump).

“So, anyone want to explain what the hell just happened?” Julie asked, cheerfully nibbling the horn off her unicorn cookie.

“Honestly, I’m not sure,” Alex admitted. But when he looked at Willie, who was still holding his hand, eyes sparkling, he was pretty sure it didn’t matter.