#;You actually thought someone like me could be friends with a freak like you? (Bradford & Michelangelo)

[handfulofmuses]

"I feel the mutagen coursing through me. I'm stronger, faster, more powerful than ever! I feel like a ninja again!"

"Plus, you don't have zits, which is a bonus."

"To thank you for this I will make your end swift."

I went frame by frame for this scene and it's the whole theatrics that sells the deal here. Dramatic monologue is dramatic - his old actor days were shining here.

[des1gnersadness]

if ur taking requests could you maybe do billy lenz with a sub! male reader nsfw? , theres not a lot of male reader content for him so im desperate LOL

if ur not taking requests i am sorry and its okay! thank you and have a nice day/night!! :3

sorry this took so long !

the smut is right under the cut.

thank you for requesting anon, i hope you like it!

Silent Night — Billy Lenz x sub!male reader smut

gif isn’t mine!

warnings: dom/sub, slight choking, some exposition at the beginning, reader isn’t that submissive at first but trust me — he is, reader is male, blow job, teasing, smut, and anything else I’ll think of I’ll add.

You were bored — well, as bored as one could be when you were in the middle of a party that Barbara Coard was throwing. Everyone was dancing, drinking, and smoking — you weren’t that interested though, partying hard was never your thing — you preferred to go to small get togethers where people would play cards or watch movies. “Oh my goodness! Y/N!” Jess Bradford called through the crowd as she made her way over — drink in hand.

Smiling at her, you stood up from the bench you had been on — glad to have someone you knew here, it was her sorority house too. “Jess!” You exclaimed happily — the two of you hugged before Jess took your hand and led you through the crowd to the kitchen.

—

“I didn’t even know you were gonna show.” Jess said with a genuine smile — she took a sip of the liquid from her cup. You shrugged — “I didn’t think I was going to in the first place but, then I thought about hanging out with you and I changed my mind.” To people on the outside — you and Jess looked like a picture perfect couple when in actuality, you were best friends — Jess was already in a relationship and you… you were working on that.

It was hard to find a gay guy in the seventies.

“Oh! I can’t believe I forgot to tell you!” Jess’ voice made you jump slightly — you looked at her as she spoke, “So, there’s this weird guy calling the house every night — it’s definitely just some prank calls but… they’re so strange that I’m starting to be freaked out by them.” She became nervous, “So I was wondering — could you spend the night here? Just for protection — please?” If it was any other person you would’ve said no but, this was Jess. You nodded, “Sure.”

—

You had settled in on the couch. Jess had given you some blankets along with a pillow — after she bid you goodnight and went to her room, you stayed up. The light from the lamp in the hallway was what you were staring at — day dreaming — your mind drifted to the guy Jess had been talking about earlier and you couldn’t help but wish the phone rang so you could be the one to answer it. Maybe Jess was exaggerating and you could give discipline to whoever kept calling.

Instead of the sound of the phone ringing — a meow and hiss came from upstairs — your eyes darted to the stairs and you suddenly felt scared. Getting up — you did what someone should never do in this situation — you went to the sound of the meow and came across the door to the attic.

Maybe you were just delirious and making things up.

THUMP

meow~

Now that, that came from just behind the attic door. Your motherly (fatherly?) instincts kicked in — you were going to rescue that cat even if it meant getting dirty.

—

Climbing up into the attic, you tried your best to look around in the darkness — the moon seemed to try and help but it didn’t illuminate enough to where you could see. “Here kitty, kitty, kitty — where are you?” You whispered loudly — hoping to not scare off the feline. A clatter of things falling startled you. You turned to where the sound came from and saw nothing. You furrowed your brows as you soon realized something else was breathing in the same exact way as you.

Holding your breath — you heard the ragged breathing of someone rather close to you. Doing something you usually wouldn’t do — you reached out blindly and touched something soft. It was a sweater, that much you could tell — your hands lay flat against it. Your fingers splayed and that seemed to make the person grumble. “Piggy.” Was all they said and your eyes widened in fear. Before you could pull away — the person held your hands in place. “Billy w-wants more~More.”

The mystery person was a guy whose name was Billy and who was clearly wanting you to touch him in places you usually wouldn’t when you first meet someone. “What..?” Is the only thing you can get out before you’re pulled close to Billy — his mouth latching onto your own, drool from his own mouth covers your chin. The kiss was hurried as Billy groaned in an animalistic way. Your teeth clatter as Billy slides his tongue into your mouth and fights against your own. He grabs your hips, rutting against you as he repeats the word “more.”

Honestly, you were aroused — it’s been a while and being touched like this made you hard. Billy’s hand went to your head and shoved you down to your knees — so you were now eye level with his growing erection. He was straining against his jeans, that was for sure, he urged you on and even squealed when you took a second too long to get his pants off and around his ankles. “Suck Billy’s fat c-cock.” He said through a giddy laugh which sent a chill up your spine. You slid off his underwear and his erection sprung up — slapping against his belly. Pre-cum leaked from the mushroom tip.

Grabbing his shaft — you slid your thumb on the slit on the tip and slid the pre-cum as lube. You placed your mouth around the tip and began to go down further every time you bobbed your head. “More~” Billy groaned as he began shoving your head further down his dick. The girth made your throat hurt slightly — your gag reflex wasn’t that good so as he began to fuck your face, you were getting closer to gagging, and once you did, Billy giggled happily. “Gag on Billy’s fat cock p-piggy.” You moaned against him but before Billy came, he pulled out of your mouth.

A rope of drool was connecting your mouth and his dick. You looked up at him through hazy eyes, “Wh-?” Before you could even think of finishing your sentence — Billy pounced on you — he began taking your pants off at a rapid rate. “Billy wants to f-fuck your tight h-hole~” He exclaimed making your eyes widen. You let him take the lead and he made sure to get the perfect angle to your tight hole. He spit on his fingers and began to fuck you with his fingers — instantly starting off with two fingers.

“Fuck!” You moaned out at the feeling before enjoying the feeling — your eyes closed in satisfaction before Billy pulled away. You looked at him and right as he did — he thrusted himself into you. You moaned loudly, making Billy place a hand on your neck, tightening slightly, “Shhh, p-piggy needs to be quiet o-or else those c-cunts will hear.” He mumbled making you hold back your moans — you bit your lip as you whimpered.

Billy grinned and began to pick up his pace, he breathed heavily. You felt yourself getting close — the knot at the bottom of your stomach felt like it was getting tighter and tighter — Billy’s hand tightened around your throat and that let the knot unravel as you came — your cum spilling all over yourself. Billy drooled at the sight as he quickly came right after you did. He slid out of you without warning which caused you to hiss. Billy placed another kiss on your lips before he spoke.

“Goodnight p-pretty piggy.”

[majorxmaggiexboy]

Psych, Lazytown, TURN ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

oH HECK THREE OF EM

PSYCH The first character I first fell in love with: I think it was Gus! The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: I want to say Lassiter because i genuinely didn't like him at all at first, only for him to be one of my favorites now. But i could also say Shawn because his character type is one that's pretty out of character for me to actually like (he's very Starlord and i can't stand Starlord), but i could also say Selene, just because i never would have expected to instantly love her so much. The character everyone else loves that I don’t: I don't actually know Fandom Opinions about pretty much any character so i'm just going to go with either Yang or Woody. Yang's whole plotline is a bit disturbing and Woody just gives me the creeps. The character I love that everyone else hates: Probably Henry? He was a terrible parent and he hurt my feelings in the second movie especially, but i still have a fondness for him. The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Buzz McNab. I mean...i still like him, but don't know how to feel about his new vibe as of the movies. The character I would totally smooch: Either Chief Vick, Juliet, or Selene, if i was someone who does smooches. The character I’d want to be like: Vick or Juliet. Shawn is basically a louder me already XD The character I’d slap: I wouldn't slap anyone bc i don't do Violense but it'd have to be either Henry or that guy they thought was Lassie's friend in the wedding episode. A pairing that I love: Shules is my jam but i'm also happy with Shassie. I'm not too into Shawn/Gus just because i see them more as friends. I really liked Gus/Rachael though and also love Gus/Selene A pairing that I despise: Shawn/Yang. hmm, gross.

LAZYTOWN

The first character I first fell in love with: SPORP! Followed closely by STEPHANIE The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: PIXEL AND ALSO HIS STAGE COUNTERPART GOGGI, THE TRUE SUPERIOR CHARACTERS The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Glanni freaks me the hell out actually. like Severely. Can't stand the guy. The character I love that everyone else hates: Does anyone hate any Lazytown characters? I mean i have a sick insistence on Mr Kicker existing in order to fuel my own interests but i don't Love him. Hmmm...i don't think anyone hates Ithro, but i'll still say Ithro because my interpretation of him definitely seems to differ with the memes XD The character I used to love but don’t any longer: what are you talking about once you love a Lazytown character you love them forever smh but no actually every time i watch Lazytown i catapult violently between loving Ziggy and wanting to yeet him into a volcano every time he does that sad sigh of his The character I would totally smooch: forehead smooch for Stephanie and Stingy The character I’d want to be like: I mean Sporp is pretty much the dream the goal the ambition the peak why is this even a question The character I’d slap: again with Not Literally but i'd definitely have a word with Robbie about tricking the local diabetic with sugar apples like. Robbie that's Too Far. Robbie NO Robbie Stop That At Once A pairing that I love: i'm partial to the Green Beans, Jives/Goggi. I also like a little Stephanie/Trixie. A pairing that I despise: I actively avoid Sportasteph.

TURN

The first character I first fell in love with: Ben, next question The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: I could say Mary Floyd considering that she isn't even in the show and i would die for her. But no actually i'll go with Akinbode bc he started out the series with a rough impression but by the end it was more like "EYYYYY THERE HE IS, LOVE THAT DUDE" The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Simc The character I love that everyone else hates: Bradford and/or Gamble XD But definitely moreso Gamble. What can i say, he has a great smile. The character I used to love but don’t any longer: I still love Mary Woodhull but she definitely lost some points in s4 for how she treated Anna. Peggy also lost points due to the Cheer incident. I blame the writers more than the characters, though. The character I would totally smooch: I don't smooch but probably the "The dog's mine though" guy's dog. Smooch the snoot. Bucephalus deserves smooches too. The character I’d want to be like: Probably either Abigail or, to a degree, Townsend. The character I’d slap: most of them except Abigail or Cicero A pairing that I love: I used to be picky about ships but? My god. Tallship, Floydmadge, Jandre/Peggy/Ben, Bradmadge (crackship), Annlah A pairing that I despise: Annc

[huckleberrysclutterbucket]

LOSING CONTROL

Lucas tries to keep his temper under control, but sometimes is just imposible.

Lucas POV

Control, is a small word with a big meaning. My dad used to say after I got in a fight, “If you could control your temper, you wouldn´t be in this situation”. I got sent to the principal´s office several times, I got suspended twice. My dad had business in New York and saw an opportunity to help me start over. And I did. I had everything under control, or so I thought.

First day, I haven´t even reached school, I meet this girl, she walks up to me like she owns the freaking subway and makes a number for her friend. They are both cute. The fisty one is named Maya and the other one Riley. I get to school and enter my new classroom, I was held back a year since I spent most of it in detention or suspended, and to my surprise, both girls are in my class. And to top it all, my history teacher is Riley’s father. 

As soon as Maya recognize my accent, I was doomed. She wouldn’t waste a chance to call me names and make fun of me. Little did she knew, instead of irking me, I loved those names she gave me, Huckleberry, Sundance Kid, Ranger Rick. All western. The girl did her homework, she knew what I liked. It was time for me to find out what she liked and get to her. 

As time passed, we became friends, even Farkle accepted me in his group. Riley was the one who kept us all together, even in the most difficult times, she always had faith in our friendship. I did noticed the moon eyes, she likes me, really likes me, in a romantic way, but I’m not into romantic stuff, so I never really asked her out. I was more intrigued about Maya, she’s more about act first think later, kinda reminds me of myself. Tuff exterior and soft in the inside, like a lobster. I wonder what made her put up all those walls around her. It seems like the only person she lets in is Riley. I really wanted to get to know her.

Everything seemed to be under control, untill Maya asked me to beat up a kid that was bulling Farkle. I worked so hard to keep my temper under control, change my old ways. I told her we shouldn’t use violence, it never ends well. We were in gym class when Billy, my team mate, started bulling Farkle, I lost my temper and pushed Billy, I had him pinned to the wall and was about to trow the first punch when Maya jumped on my back and stopped me. “Lucas, don’t!” “Isn’t this what you wanted Maya?” “No. Thats what he wants, he wants you to be like him” Hearing her anxious words in my ear and feeling her heart beating so fast on my back made me realize that she was scared. I imediately returned to my calmed self and talked some sense into Billy. That was the first time I almost lost control. If it wasn’t for Maya, I would have ended up in a fight again.

Valentines day came, and this girl asked me out, Missy Bradford. She was the most popular girl in our grade. Then something funny happened, Riley got jelous. She looked so cute all mad about it. I had a talk with Farkle about the girls, he knew them better anyways. That’s how I learned that Farkle was inlove with both Riley and Maya, and he wanted to know if I would ask one of them out, so he could ask the other. That was weird, so I asked “And what if I pick the other one?” and he just said “Then I get the first one! how long do you wanna play this game?” Was this a game for him? Ok then. I can play along. 

Maya, had other plans in mind, she asked me out instead, the girl has nerve and wasn’t going to sit around waiting for us to make a choice, and I’m not afraid to admit I kinda like that about her. She told me to pick her up at Riley’s and I was so thrilled to do so, but I was ambushed. Maya set me up to date Riley, luckly Mr Matthews wouldn’t let her go unless Maya and Farkle came too, as long as she was there I didn’t care. The four of us took the subway, I kept stealing glances at Maya  and noticed she kept looking at some older guy a few seats ahead. Suddenly she walked straight to that dude and started talking to him, was she flirting? Riley noticed me staring at Maya and explained to me. Josh Matthews, he was her uncle. And apparently Maya had the biggest crush on him.

Maya sat beside Josh, and after a few words were crossed I could tell he said something that hurt her feelings. He got off the train on the next stop, leaving Maya with sad eyes. I wanted to punch that guy so much. I almost did, but then I remembered I was supposed to be dating Riley. I told her to go sit with Maya and see if she was ok, but Maya pushed Riley back to me. That’s when Riley fell on my lap and kissed me. It lasted just a second, but I stood frozen, it seemed like time had stopped. I just sat there, wondering if anybody else saw that, more like, wondering it Maya saw Riley kissing me. I didn’t tell anyone about it.

No one knew about my conflicted past, untill Zay came along with his big mouth. That month his family moved to New York, and my old childhood friend transfered to this school too. He’s only been here a week and I’ve already got in a fight. All the work I put on having my temper under control goes to hell. His big mouth got him in troube with a senior and I had to get in troube to save his ass, again. I got detention for friday after school. Thanks a lot Zay. To my surprise Maya was there too. She got in trouble but wouldn’t tell me why. I walked her home after detention, I find out her mom works until late and her dad is not around since she was 5, we were in detention together a few times after that. Apparently she doesn’t like to do homework. I must confess I got into a few fights just to get in detention so I could walk her home.

I always sat behind Maya, that way was easier to catch on the details. I still wanted to get to know her. That’s how I noticed all the little drawings on the edge of her notes. She hated science and chemestry, I was her lab partner, it was basically like having no partner at all, she would fall asleep in my hand, literally. But I didn’t mind. I even liked to do all our projects together, more like me doing the project while I watched her sleep or doodle. Sometimes I took her to my house so that she would fall asleep in my bed. How I loved to smell my pillow. The scent of her shampoo lingered for a while after she was gone.

We had a school dance, the semi formal. I was supposed to ask Riley to go to the dance with me, but I never did. I asumed we were all going together as a group. However, Charlie Gardner had other plans, he asked Riley to be his date to the semi formal when I failed to do so, and she said yes just to try to get me jelous. I was kinda not okay with her childish behavior, so I got irritated but then again, Maya didn’t had a date, and I finnaly had a chance to dance with her. And I did. 

At school things were not going great. Not only I had a bunch of homework and projects, but the Art class was about to be canceled. Is the only class Maya actually enjoys. Even when Maya said she was ok with it, and that it was just a class, or just a hobby, I knew her better by then. That class was very important to her, it was her escape from all the stress in her life, I could see that sadness in her eyes and I couldn’t stand it. We did all we could think of to convince the board to keep the arts program at school. And we succeded.

Riley’s and Maya’s friendship used to be the strongest, but now it seemed so fragile, to the point of crazyness. Me and Maya were voted as “best couple” on the yearbook, and when Riley and Farkle noticed, it was like if all hell broke loose. Riley was sinking into depressed Riley wich she called Morotia M Black. Maya tried to bring her back by pretending to be Riley. Farkle was angry too because he wanted to be “taken seriously”. I didn’t understand what was happening back then because I’ve always taken him seriously, but he changed his style and now he wanted to be called Donny Barnes. It seemed to me there was someone else he wanted to impress. Someone in particular that he wanted to notice him or to take him more seriously.

Zay told the girls about my accident riding a sheep when I was four. On vacation we went to Texas, more like Riley and Maya signed me up to ride a sheep to “overcome my fear of falling from Judy”. I would have appreciated their effort if it wasn’t for the fact that grown men don’t ride sheep, they ride bulls. So accidentally they signed me up to ride a freaking bull named Tumbstone, like if the name didn’t freak me out enough. What the hell were they thinking? Riley was trying to cheer me up, “You can do it Lucas, You’ll do great” but Maya, she knew how scared I was, and she knew why. I could die or get seriously injured. “If you do this, I’ll never speak to you again” she told me. But Pappy Joe was proud of me for doing this, and had already told all the town I was doing it, leaving me no room to back off from it without looking like a coward. Even though I didn’t got hurt and I could only ride the bull for four lousy seconds, it was enough to hurt Maya’s feelings.

That night we made a bonefire, we sat around it and talked, Riley broke up with me finally. She told me that Maya teases me because she’s attracted to me. Zay left with Riley and Farkle to “get ice cream” wile I talked to Maya alone. I asked her myself about it and she denied it. Against my better judgement, I lost control of myself again, I wanted to hear her say it so bad, I push and cornered her, “If you don’t like me, then why do you make fun of me? And why didn’t you wanted me to ride the bull?”  “Because I didn't wanted you to win and get all coincided”. Yeah right... Lamest answer. I knew I was getting close to a confession, so I kept pushing her “Why do you make fun of me?” “Because you’re easy to make fun of” “That’s not it” I walked so close to her, I could almost hear her heartbeat “Because you are a Huckleberry” she was becoming more agitated and kept yelling all this western nicknames at me. I couldn’t take it anymore, so the moment she hahurred in my face, I reached with both hands for her face and I kissed her. It was a soft kiss and it ended too soon but it worked, she stopped. And most importantly, she let her walls down. “Why did you do that?” She asked me. I was dumbstruck... I had kissed her. I didn’t knew what to do next. What should I say? “I’m sorry. I… I didn’t know how to make you stop” Now I was too nervous. I blew it… from all the things I could have said... I apologized? “Don’t have to be sorry. Of course I like you Huckleberry, if you got hurt I don’t know what I woud have done”. I made her say it, and I didn’t felt any better about it.

Back home we were all a wreck. Riley was still upset about me liking Maya, and she started going out with Charlie Gardner. How I hate that guy. Farkle started dating Smackle, and I asked Maya out. We had a smoothie, well my head had a smoothie, my “I delivered a baby horse” line didn’t work on her. I should have known that it wouldn’t. She’s not like other girls, she isn’t looking for a prince or a hero to save the day. I was in real trouble, Riley was so easy to impress, she was happy to hear my cowboy adventures. But Maya made fun of me, I had to work hard if I wanted to impress Maya.

New year came, Riley made a party in her house. Oddly enough, it was Charlie the one who invited me, so irritating, but everything about him was irritating. At the party, Maya and I couldn’t catch a break. We sat alone by the baywindow only to be third wheeled by Riley. Then we were having this moment, at the balcony, it felt so romantic and I was about to lean in for a kiss, when Farkle came running and ruined the moment by announcing “Riley still loves Lucas”. Wait what? Seriously? Then Riley broke up with Charlie. I wasn’t going to break up with Maya. Not a chance.

That’s how we started this weird triangle thing. Maya wouldn’t go out with me anymore since Riley was back in the picture. Their friendship was healing and they didn’t want to hurt each other. We tried to be just friends for a while, but the truth is, we couldn’t. I like Maya way too much.

We started High school and it was full of changes and new challenges. Both girls introduced me as their boyfriend, I could hardly keep up with them both, and to top it all, Riley demanded too much attention. She was naive and gullable, we had to keep an eye on her all the time, I snaped a few times at Riley, Maya tried to stay out, but everytime Riley would ask Maya to scream at me too. It was getting ridiculous. So Maya decided to drop out, she broke up with me and asked me to “go tell Riley that you love her”. I could never say no to her, so I stayed with Riley. When she asked about Maya, I was honest and told her the truth “She’s the one who sent me to you”. She didn’t seemed to mind, she was happy I stay even if that meant loosing Maya. I wasn’t too happy.

I went out with  Riley for a while, untill she moved to London, we never officially broke up, the relationship just froze. Her mom got a very good job offer and her whole family moved. We tried the long distance thing but it was harder than I thought. Specially after I found out that the only reason Maya broke up with me was because Riley’s uncle told her to. Josh and Maya started dating after that. Not that you could call that dating. He was in college and hardly got any time to see her, she spent most of her time alone in Toppanga’s coffee shop reading some novels. I know because, after Riley moved to London, I started going there too to keep her company. We had good times there. 

It was like going back in time, back to when we used to date. But this time she had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend, only they weren’t here. I spent almost all afternoons with Maya, we became very close friends. Except when Josh was “available”. I really hated that guy, and I could tell he felt threaten by me. One time we had an argument, after that He tried to stop Maya from hanging out with me, as if someone could force Maya to do something. She broke up with him after that. Farkle and Izzy broke up too, and before we knew what was happening we all went our separate ways. Zay and Izzy started a relationship, hanging out on their own. Farkle stopped hanging out with us too. Somehow now that he was single he seemed to be very busy, on his computer or his phone, but always talking to someone. I spent almost all my free time with my football friends, at parties or with Maya. Mostly with Maya. We would have movie nights. It started as a group thing in the livingroom, but since Zay, Farkle and Izzy ditched us most of the times, we stopped inviting them. Now it was just the two of us, laying on my bed, talking and watching movies while we ate junk food untill we fell asleep.

We were watching one of those teen movies, when the typical sex scene began. Maya started a conversation. A sex talk to be exact. “Huckleberry, do you think we should have sex right now? I mean not you and me, but you and Riley, and me and someone else?” “Why now?” “Because, you’ll be 18 very soon, and Riley is only 16, it would be ilegal, and right now is not” “But I’m not in a hurry to have sex. Besides, even if I wanted to, Riley is in London” “But, she’ll be back for the summer, after prom” “Like I said, I’m not in a hurry to have sex,” “But, doesn’t it bothers you to be the only guy in the football team with a V card?” “Does it bothers you?” “No. but is different with guys. I’m sure they must have teased you about it” “Well, they don’t know I’m a virgin. They think I have too much sex actually” “Really? With whom?” How can I explain to her that every guy in the team thinks she’s my girlfriend and they know we hang out in my bedroom, almost daily.

Here it goes... “Remember when we were freshmen and you told everybody you were my girlfriend?” “Yeah, so?” “Well... They also know that you and I hang out in my room most afternoons” “How would they know that?” I reach for my phone in my jeans and give it to her. She looks at me because she knows which picture I have as background, she took it herself. Is her in my bed, wearing just my jersey and I’m shirtless next to her. “This doesn’t prove anything” she says but I tell her to unlock it, she knows my passcode. And I see her questioning face. “What am I supposed to do with this?” “Read” I’ve been ditching my friends to hang out with her and it has been buzzing with stupid ass coments about my sex life all day. Is a group chat with the football team. I already know what it says but I wait for her to read it. “Friar? you in for later?” “We are at Ross house.” “WHERE RU?” “You coming?” “He’s coming all right. In the gf” “He’s Banging the GF?” “They allways banging” “I’m so jelous” “You dog” “Too much sex has to be bad for your game” “Dude, he killed last game!” “Then keep it up” “Is up allright” “hahaha” “LOL” ...

She stops reading the texts and looks at me with horror in her eyes once the realization of what’s going on hits her. “So they think we are having sex? Like right now?” “Yes. Basically.” “oh my god, they think I’m a whore!” “No no no. They think you’re my girlfriend” “Why didn’t you tell them I’m not?!” “Would you rather let them think we have casual sex?”  “No! No wonder no one ever asks me out. I’m sigle and a virgin because of you!” “Would you rather loose your virginity to some idiot who would dump you next week?” “Yes! Damn it. I don’t wanna be a virgin anymore. I’ll even give it up to the next guy that asks me out!”

And right there I lost my temper again. The single thought of someone else touching her drove me mad, “I would never allow that! Everyone knows you’re off limits!” “Why would you do that to me?!” “I didn’t do it by myself you know! You are the one taking intimate pictures, cheering at my games, waiting for me after practice, I drive you everywhere, you wear my letter jacket like a girlfriend would.... You even sit on my lap for christ sake! What do you think it looks like when you spend the night in my bed?! Even my mom gives me freaking condoms because she thinks we’re fucking!” I knew I shouldn’t have said that the moment it came out of my mouth. Me and my goddamn temper. 

I was livid, and Maya was furious at me. “Even your mom thinks I’m a whore! I’m a virgin whore. What are the odds?...”  “You’re not a whore… They think you are my-“ “Don’t you dare say girlfriend, because you know is not real!” “WAKE UP MAYA! Is as real as if we were already fucking!” “SHUT UP! You’re Riley’s boyfriend!” “Pff please… we both know that relationship died way before she even left” “I can’t believe this... How could I be so stupid?” “Why don’t you admit that you like to pretend to be my girlfriend” “No, I don’t!” I had to make her say it “Then why are you here Maya?” “Because you invited me to watch a stupid movie!” “No. Why are you here, with me, in my bedroom?” With every word, I would take a step closer to her, until I cornered her to the wall. “Why spending the night in my bed when you know very well spooning you gives me a raging boner?” “I didn’t know.” “Stop... just stop lying already!” I was angry and I reached the wall, “What do you want me to say? That I want to lure you into having sex with me?” I had her trapped between me and the wall, I slammed my palms to the wall, on each side of her head “No! That you still love me! Because you know damn well that I still do!” I crashed my lips and claimed hers.

For the second time in my life I kissed Maya Hart, only this time I wasn’t gentle, I wasn’t a nervous kid and she wasn’t a scared little girl anymore. We had all this sexual tension and frustration we were eager to let out. She kissed me back with the same lust as me. Having her in my bedroom was just asking for trouble. She wanted sex and I was dying to give her just that. I slid my hands from her back to her waist, then down her  hips, to her ass and held her up, she wrapped her legs on my waist grinding her hips to me, and I was gone. I lost control to my hormones. Next thing I know, I had her on my bed, me on top of her. My hands touching all her curves, Maya’s legs arround me and pulling me down, between her legs, I’m grinding myself to her, enjoing the feeling of that friction and her soft moans. I was about to make the rumors true, already yanking the elastic band of her underwear, but then my mom walked in. She slammed the door and as she walked down the hall I heard her mutter “Just friends my ass”.

I got off of Maya as fast as I could “Fuck! Fucking freaking fuck!”, she was panting. I turned to watch the tv, the movie was over, the music and credits were on. We calmed down a bit, she sat on the bed, and some tears ran down her cheeks as she fixed her clothes. I made her cry. I sat on the bed with her. “I’m sorry, I swear I didn’t planned this” “How could I let this happen? I’m so stupid. What’s gonna happen when Riley comes back and someone tells her that you and I.” “I’ll tell her the truth, and then I’ll break it up, officialy” “She’s gonna hate me” “She knows our thing is over Maya. We haven’t even talked for weeks” “This can’t happen again. Never!” She put her sneakers on and ran away from me, out of my room, and out of the house. My mom was in the kitchen. “Isn’t your girlfriend staying for dinner?” “Not my girfriend mother. And No, we weren’t having sex, we were just making out. If we ever decide to have sex, I’ll wear those damn condoms.” I told her very irritated and ran after Maya.

She was walking down the corner when I caught up with her, and conviced her to get on the car so I could drive her home. I could tell by her red cheeks that she was very embarassed about what was about to happen in my room. “Maya, don’t worry. If it makes you feel better, tomorrow morning I will tell everybody we are both virgins” “I don’t care about that.” “Then what is it?” “We were about to... This is going to kill our friendship” “I’ll deal with Riley when she gets back. But right now, we need to talk about what just happened” “I can’t do this... we have to stop” “Believe me, I tried to stop, but I can’t. I’ve tried for so long, and I’m done holding back” “I can’t” “I’m loosing my mind here Maya, I have these intense feelings for you that you were reciprocating just a few minutes ago” “We can’t be friends anymore Lucas” “We were never just friends Maya, the scene in my room just proved it. You’re just too stuborn to accept that” We stopped movie nights until we could figure our relationship out. Maya was avoiding me at school, with all the finals, and prom everybody was too busy to even notice, and the ones who did, just pinned it for a couple’s argument.

End of term came sooner than expected. And so did a certain brunette. It was the week before prom and I had just asked Maya to be my date. Flowers, ballons, chocolates, the whole thing. I wanted her back in my life. She said yes. I came back home and Riley was at my door. “Riles, hi” “hey! I’m back” “Yes, I can see that... Come in. So what brings you here?” “I came to be your prom date, I meant to surprise you in school but you were gone and I had an interesting chat with some of your friends” “Yeah, we need to talk” “About you screwing my best friend behind my back?” “Oh... so, you heard” “All the fucking school knows. It’s humiliating!” “Yeah... But it isn’t true” “what about all these pictures in your locker?” I had forgoten about all the photos I had in my locker, nothing bad, just some pictures of me and Maya, movie night, parties, after a game, and my favorite where she had my letter jacket on because it was cold that night.. “You went trough my stuff?” “Was it a secret? I kinda had the impression it was public knowledge”

It wasn’t the fact that Riley didn’t believe me, or trusted me, I didn’t cared about that. It was the fact that the lie would ruin Maya’s and Riley’s frindship that made me confess all of it to Riley. “It was all fake Riley, you should know by now, Maya wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. She didn’t even knew about that stupid rumor until recently, and honestly I didn’t care enough to tell people it wasn’t true”. “But why?” “Because I like spending time with her, we have fun together, and it was easy to let the guys think whatever to get them off my back and hers” “Do you love her again?” “I never stopped loving her Riley, but you already knew that.” 

“You look happy together in all those pictures” “Yeah... that’s probably because we are.” “So, how does it work? She pretends to be your girlfirend?” “No Riley, we are not pretending, we just hang out together, like we always have, without labels. At least that was untill last week” “What happened last week?” “I told her about said lie. We had a fight and then I kissed her. But before you jump into conclussions, you should know that she freaked out and ran away from me” “She still loves you” “I know she does” “But she’ll never admit it” “Because she thinks you still love me. She cares more about you than herself” “Was she happy?” “The happiest I’ve ever seen her”. Somehow, even when she was the same Riley, she seemed different, more mature. She wasn’t really mad at me. She just seemed lost in thought. “I go away for a few months and you all wonder like scathered sheep” she joked. Riley excussed herself and left to go find Maya. Baywindow duty, and I’m guessing trying to fix all this mess we were in. I just hope that I didn’t ruined their friendship. Maya would never forgive me otherwise.

Maya called me that same afternoon, saying she couldn’t be my date to prom. She was still going, just not with me. I guessed it had something to do with Riley, but I wasn’t going to go with Riley so, I refused to go.  I was tired of falling into that game. I decided to stop playing it. Prom day came, it was a clouded sky that day, and so was my brain. I decided to show up last minute, I had to see her on her dress. I changed to my formal clothes, my cowboy hat, my rose, and I drove to prom. As soon as I got out of my car, it was pouring rain, I walk down to the door and stoped, right there trough the glass I could see her. She looked beautiful, dancing and spining on the dancefloor, her bouncing golden curls, sorrounded by all her friends, Izzy, Zay, Riley and Farkle, all together again, it seemed so surreal.

As they were dancing, Riley caught my eyes, she was staring at me, watching me with a devilish smile, while Maya was dancing oblivious to us. Then I remember why I liked Riley, she just had to fix everything. From where I was standing outside in the rain, I couldn’t hear a word, but I saw Riley lean into Maya and whisper something to her ear. Maya nodded, and closed her eyes happily. I didn’t loose her from my sight, as Riley took Maya’s hands and led her right in front of me. I was breathless, watching her laugh with her eyes still closed. Riley made eye contact with me and opened the glass door, then whisper something in her ear and left. Maya counted to three outloud and opened her eyes to see me.

“One, two, three.” “Hi” “Hey. You’re here” “Yeah, I wouldn’t miss seeing you in that dress for the world” “You should come in... the storm.” “I don’t mind” “Don’t you wanna come in and dance with us?” “There’s only one person I’m interested in” I gave her the red rose and then I took her hand and pulled her outside. The rain was still falling and she was getting wet. She came near me and hugged me, I put my arms around her as I swayed to the rithm of the music. It was a slow dance. I told her softly to her ear “I missed you so much” and she stopped dancing. I looked at her face as she looked deeply into my eyes and when she was about to speak, I kissed her. Only, this time, after she kissed me back, she didn’t pushed me away. It was so weird, how things turned around. Maya used to be the one who pushed Riley and me together, ever since we met. And now it was Riley the one who finally was pushing Maya towards me. She wouldn’t have me any other way. I told her “I love you, even with that stubborn head of yours”. She laughed and said “I love you, even with that bad temper of yours”.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Reviews!: The Split Sword of Swanstatine! or Sometimes You Just Have to Punch Your Problems Away

The race for the missing mysteries takes Scrooge, the kids and a sorta hyjacked Lena and Violet to a mystical market to hunt down the pieces of the mythical sword of the warrior king swanstanine. Naturally a split artifact leads to a vignette episode as the kids pair up to find the pieces while Scrooge and Heron face off. Dewey and Webby face blindness, Louie and Violet face Louie’s reputation as an underworld kingpin, and Huey and Lena face Huey’s Feral Side. The race is on with full recap and spoilers under the cut. 

Not a lot of background here.. I was excited enough for this one as Steelbeak and Rockerduck came back, but I went from “This will be pretty good and oh look Flula Borg” to HOLY SHIT LENA AND VIOLET ARE BACK LET’S GO ALREADY. So yeah, there’s not a lot to get started here that can’t be done as we go, let’s get out there and talk about some ducktales.  We open in a vast marketplace whose name i’ve already forgotten.. it’s almost 4 in the morning here and I have terrible memory with name sometimes, I make no apologizes. Naturally given the big declaration at the end of the last episode the family is on the hunt for a missing mystery.. and Dewey is on the hunt for Street Meat, though Scrooge denies him any till they get the job done... I mean they can eat and go treasure hunting. They can do two things. Let him have some lamb dammit, spiced lamb is fucking delcious you monster! Or whatever that is the point is it’s larged, well seasoned and makes me hungry!  But starving his grandchildren aside, Scrooge has no doubt they can acomplish this as a family.. and then notices his future in laws are also there and his whole big speech game is thrown off by the question of why. To me it’s because we need more of them, quit old man your already 0-2 this episode, but turns out the explination is one of the funniest jokes of the season.. and this is a season that’s include “There now your susceptible to vampires”, “Yipiee Kai Yay Mr. Falcon!”, Darkwing’s Cookbook, Gene’s Soda Commerical, Gladstone having a mental breakdown over having to be a normal person, and Della trying to deflect the blame for traumatizing children. This bit is on par with that.  Violet explains that Scrooge told everyone to get on the plane. I assume Donald and Della are with their signifigant others, Beakly was getting some much needed therapy and Launchpad.. was flying the plane.. and also had Drake and Gosalyn with him because he double booked and had to take them with him to assist whatever ex of his is in trouble this week. Point is that bit’s freaking hilarious and Scrooge simply asks if they enjoy history and the answers are a predictable “Not really” from Lena, which given her own personal history is vast, terrible, and traumatizing up until the last year and her adoption by two gay men, relationship with a charming young lady, and gaining a beloved nerdy sister, that tracks. Violet of courser says it’s her life. Scrooge takes it: He’s used to having half his adventuring party either not caring about culture and history, the Saberwings just keep the average up. So Webby does the natural thing and tackle hugs her girlfriend and future sister in law while Scrooge smiles because why wouldn’t you. 

And I was happy about this: not just hte tackle hug, because that was precious, but Scrooge eagerly accepting them along for the ride. I was worried for half a second that as good as the gag was that’d be the episodes big underlying issue.. but nope, his confusion was more “Wait why are the extra children here”, than questions of worth and given their previous appearance had him willingly inviting them along, and Lena and Violet only opting out due to fears about her magic getting them all killed and to support her sister, it woudln’t of made any character sense for him not to, doubly so since their up against a shadowy organization of ruthless thugs. Granted Beakly likely sighed after returning from her midnight therapy and called the Saberwing parents by Ty and Indy are probably used to their daughter’s friends elderly Uncle taking them to strange places in the middle of the night by this point. I mean one of their daughters can turn bluper sayain now, the ship on normal behavior kind of sailed over a cliff a while ago. 

But Scrooge soon detects what he thinks is heron but is actually a woman who justifiably punches him. Turns out Heron was actually hiding in a stall though, and brought all her friends with her.. except Blot.. and while at first I was going to make a joke I realized they probably don’t want the guy who drains the magic out of everything near a magic artifact he’d probably destroy despite the consequences. So Bradford probably just sent him to murder the lucky charms leprechaun... he DOES have a life outside of trying to Murder scrooge... he can want to murder cereal mascots too. He’s a renascence evil mastermind. A sword fight ensues, with Scrooge telling the kids to pair up and go find the pieces while he keeps Heron busy. 

Cue Credits and cue the episode itself being split into three vignettes. I do love vignette episodes, episodes of half hour shows that split into 3 different stories taking place at the same time and break from the formula, with two of the best I can think of being the Avatar classic “Tales from Ba Sing Sei”, most famous for the really gutpunching bit with Iroh singing at his dead son’s grave.. jesus I teared up, not a joke or an exaggeration literally teared up, just thinking about it. On the opposite end we have the season 12 Simpson’s episode Trilogy of Error, which while during when the rot started to set in for the series is easily a classic on the sam tier as the first 10 seasons. It alfeatured an at the time young Daniel Radcliff as Lisa’s love interest, Marge getting accused of attempted murder after accidently chopping homer’s finger off, Bart and Milhouse turning informant ont he mob and  the tragic life of Linguo. It’s a classic. 

But yeah three pieces, three teams of two, and three story segments. So like last week I can easily divide the stories up and unlike last week I won’t be frontloading or forgetting anything since their divided up much more evenly and are played back to back to back rather than intercutting. So with that in mind...

Dewey and Webby: The Hidden Truths of Temporary Blindness and the Albino Snakes We Mistook for Cats Along the Way

The Dynamic Duo Returns! Seriously I did the legowork, I.e. went to google and despite the two’s dynamic being a sizeable part of season 1 and a plot point at the start of season 2, which also put the final nail in my shiping them coffin as it was very clear they were basically siblings in all but blood at this point and I wisely jumped off the ship and nuked it from orbit. But outside of Webby’s subplot with Dewey and Louie in “The Town Where Everyone Was Nice!”, it just.. hasn’t come up again. They’ve just had other dynamics to explore with the show and thus the two really haven’t interacted as much for the rest of the series thus far. They still interact, it’s just not really as a major part of any episodes plot till now. So while not a pairing I was expecting it was nice to have it back. For about ten seconds.  Yeah cards on the table this is the weakest of the three segements. While the other two have intresting settings, setups, and character dynamics we genuinely haven’t seen this one has.. a weird version of a dynamic we’ve seen done better, and an antagonist who feels oddly flat this go round. It’s just not THAT intresting despite some intresting moments but it’s best to just get into it to explain why. 

The basic setup is Webby is hoping to use bold de-ducktion to figure things out while flying under the radar while Dewey’s solution is naturally to ask everyone they meet, and then shout at Gandra when they do find the piece. This naturally gets a flashbang thrown at them, though we do get one great bit where Gandra asses their threat levels with Webby’s being high and Dewey’s being Eh, which tracks. And the thing that stings here is.. Gandra COULD’VE been an intresting opponent for Webby. While Huey and Violet, being fellow genuises as well as Huey’s personal stake in it for her hurting Fenton last year/season would be a better match, pitting Webby against someone just as focused and thought out in fighting, but who rather than use strength uses cybernetics and various gadgets would be really intresting, especially since the other two villian matchups are equally perfect. But instead.. it just feels like Gandra could’ve been replaced with a random fowl soldier. She just uses a flash grenade and some pakour, no real unique skills of hers or insight into her character or anything remotley intresting on her first Fenton-less outing just... “eh I use tech stuff because i’m the tech girl bleh”. The show can do better, and Jameela is given nothing to work with to the point I genuinely worried she’d been replaced.. she hadn’t, but it’s NEVER a good sign when you give an actor so little to do character wise I can wonder that. Also it’s a bit of a nitpick but it genuinely bothers me that Flula Borg, John Hodgman and Jason Mantzokus all got guest star credits.. but April Winchel and Jameela Jamil got nothing. And you could say April’s a long standing voice actor and all that.. but Tress Macneile also got a guest starring credit for next week’s episode solicit, so it’s clearly not that, and just comes off unintetionally sexist and obnoxious and has bothered me since the episode summaries came out. 

That out of the way the basic conflict is our heroes are flying blind, literally, with Dewey able to easily amble along, while Webby struggles as she can’t analize blind.. which comes off as bullshit to me. I HIGHLY doubt Beakly, paraoid mess she is, would not train her granddaughter to be able to fight without seeing. It’s one of the most basic training techniques in media. There’s a reason it pops up Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles a lot. To fight on instinct and with your other senses. And the instinct part is the lesson and insn’t a bad idea, it’s just the tool they use for it means they have to make Webby entirely helpless in a way that’s nonsensical to her character to make the plot work and it drags the bit down, thoguh we do get an utterly hilarious bit where Dewey mistakes a coiled white snake for a kitten. But our heroes make it through, Webby eventually saves Dewey with a leap of faith and Dewey has Webby hit a flash grenade back at Gandra which works somehow and blinds her optics despite you know.. someone who uses this kind of tech probably being smart enough to protect her own cybernetic eyes from flashbangs. But the kids have the piece.. and  a snake now even if it terrifies them. I wish one of them had taken it home a snake fits either of them and Webby’s dealt with worse.. which is the whole problem with this segment. That being said getting to see Dewey pull a hank venture and turn his normal near-suicidal reckleness into a strength was great I just with it was framed in a way that wasn’t “plannig and knowing things is stupid USE IMPULSE”. Thankfully we can move on.  Louie and Violet: The Silver Tongued Viper and The Violet Blade versus the Billion Dollar Man

Next up is Violet and Louie, a team up I didn’t expect at all but works well, and is a much better contrast. Webby and Dewey are similar enough, despite his rampant stupidity, that having a “one side teaches the other how to use something else and tap into their inner self”lesson didn’t work> Here it works perfectly: Someone who speaks frankly and seeks the truth through reason and research paired with someone whose greatest and most cherished talent is the ablility to lie and swindle. It’s a good contrast. Their headed for the underworld since, as I forgot to mention, each of the clues is framed as coming from the heavens (the first piece being on top of a statue), the underworld and the heart of the earth.

 Violet, and understandbly given her sister is magic and the general nonsense the duck family runs into, takes the underworld part literally taking an axe and some coins to pay the ferryman with her. Louie however figures it’s usually just a flowry way of putting a con..  and while he’s wrong about mythology given the ducks have met gods and the ENTIRE next episode (which likely features selene since i’ts now established they leave out guest stars if there’s more than three apparently) is about the gods they met... his instincts are not wrong and it is nice they aren’t. Sure some myths are real but sometimes a clue isn’t literal, and it’s clever that hte underworld here is the criminal underworld. 

Turns out center piece for the sword is an underground den for the criminal underworld focused around spice eating and general no goodnik shenanigans and Louie’s come prepared. In a bit of character stuff I REALLY love, Louie’s built up a rep as “The Silver Tounged Serpent”, with him bluffing that violet is his companion, having simply used a web of lies and word of mouth to build him up as the worst and most vile criminal imaginable. It’s not a bad plan and while Violet rightly points out he’ll have to live up to it eventually, and Louie naturally deflects that as “Future Louie’s” problem, not realizing in this case Future Louie is about 2 minutes from being present Louie, it’s not a bad scheme. Sure it’s risky as hell and he picked the worst place to use it.. but having an alias he can use to sneak into places like this where Scrooge would be made in an instant, and can easily come up with lies for the rest of his family minus Huey, whose useless not for being easily detectable but because he can’t lie to save his life and this very episode cements it. Most of his family is certified grade a badass, and can easily help him bluff or back up his claims or make him look like one. it’s just this time he happened to get Violet instead whose brutally honest and while badass, isn’t great at running con games nor pleased about any of this. That and Louie’s biggest weakness is forthought: While his brothers either don’t plan at all or overplan, Louie underplans: He has good ideas and good schemes and scams.. it’s just he has no real endgame for any of them and Violet sees right through that.  Still meeting the Spice Baron, played by Flula Borg who I mostly know from this song he did with Ninja Sex Party, though I also forgot he was in PItch Perfect 2...

Your welcome. But while he’d like to give our fake arch criminal his prize, someone else already offered him a literal, not figurative ton of cocaine.. I mean Gold. Got the wrong show there for a second. Unsurprisingly it’s Rockerduck whose done this and unlike the wasted opprotunity above this battle of wits is between the perfect opponents. Rockerduck is easily what Louie would become without his family: A shifty conman with a flair for lying, contacts in the criminal underworld and aversion to doing the hard work himself. He’s such a perfect opponent for Louie I don’t know why I never considered the two going head to head before, but it’s utterly fantastic. John Hodgman is also far and away the MVP of the episode guest villain wise, with some of the best lines too, my favorite being, after making a spice pun, demanding the assorted roughnecks “Laugh, LAUGH AT MY SPICE PUN”.. just the way he demands it with a mixture of karen and a whiny teenager is inspiried. But yeah, Rockerduck knowing who he’s dealing with challenges Louie to a spice duel, basically eating the hottest spices imaginable till one folds, winner takes all.  Naturally Louie’s ep included being a champion at this, and naturally his first instincts are to bail and when that fails, keep lying while Violet encourages him not to. I mean he’s ignored the pink and red angels on his shoulder telling him not to do bad things, why would the new purple one be any different. But Rockerduck has the edge as his taste buds were burned off in cryo.. though in another great line he laments he can never enjoy hard boiled eggs again. Which fair enough but.. you know two geniuses.. one of them can simulate taste buds. Regardless, Louie’s in trouble and his attempt to simply cheat his way out fails and the baron dosen’t tolerate Cheaters.. or Cheetahs.. or Cheating Cheetahs as seen in a great sight gag with a cheetah which requires the Baron to clarify it’s both. Point is Louie is screwed.. but Violet then downs all three, without a bead of sweat for reasons the episode explains at the end of this segment, but works since we don’t know violet well and the mystery of how she did it is a compelling question for a second. Our heroes have won but Rockerduck plays his trump card: that they aren’t who their saying they are.. but turns out the truth is even better than the lies Louie has, as Violet quickly spins Louie’s legend with the outright acomplishments he’s had, including defeating the bombie and defeating Scrooge’s entire Rogue’s gallery with a pen stroke.. both true. And unlike the last segement this bit of true strength feels earned: Louie’s other ablility besides lying is seeing all the angles.. and thus like Violet.. he sees the truth. He can see what a person feels, know them better than they may know themselves or the lies they might tell themselves simply through a keen eye. He can pick apart a million dollar defense system simply with a few glances as seen last episode. Louie’s lies may be useful.. but his biggest strength is inddeed his ablility to see the truth. Louie backs violet up as conquerer of the shadow realm (techincally true) and scourge of magica de spell (not even remotely true as Magica has the same problem with face blindess scrooge has with Darkwing and just Darkwing but with everyone). Rockerduck tries to complain but the crowd turns on him, our heroes escape, and Louie compliments violet. As for how she did it meditation, which fits her pefectly so I easily accept it, and a spice of the month club.. which is oddly specific but eh, this bit was really fun so i’ll give it to her. Plus her usualy steely demanor means she likely has a great poker face.. as seen by the fact sh’es soon guling a nearbye trough of water and screaming. Great.  As you can tell I liked this segment better, as it’s a clever duel that uses wit instead of strength ilke the others this episode, and forces Louie to find his real strength as his usual one backfires and really helps define Violet even more giving her a strong sense of truth, which fits her like a glove, and a nice dynamic with Louie. It was an odd pairing, but it worked wonders and brought the episode back to life after the last segment killed some of the momentum. And thankfully that momentum keeps rolling into the best segement:

Huey and Lena: Harnessing Your Inner Feral Goblin Child for the Greater Good

As you’d expect, our heroes are doing what they do best: Lena is trying to reign in a quirky nerd, and Huey is overthinking everything by trying to triangulate where the blade of the sword is. Naturally Lena just finds it as it’s embeeded in a compasss pattern on the earth, hence being part of the earth. Unsurprisingly Lena’s solution.. is to wack it free with a mallet... you know there’s a reson she’s one of my favorites and it’s nice to see two of my faviorites who haven’t interacted hardly at all have some time together. Naturally Huey objects to destroying the thing they came for and figures out how to remove it using the clues. Unfortunately for him, but happily for me, Steelbeak is back! 

I missed this feral asshole, and Jason while not getting a ton of lines sadly, does make the best of what he has, and is used less as himself on purpose. Also while he’s still kind of a moron, as I mentioned in my Tiff of the Titans review, this version is still CLEVER. He may not be book smart, but he can think on his feet and come up with plans and here.. his plan was the best of the three we’ve seen: Just wait for the ducks to come by and solve it for him and then beat them up and take it or as he puts it “Not the first time a nerd did my homework for me. “ Dumb dosen’t always mean incompetent, and he still has his classic self’s easy sense of planning.  Had Lena not been there he would’ve won his piece and been the ONLY member of his group to do so. But Lena is there and now fully trained, so she stops steelbeak by freezing time, Za Warudo! style. Though unlike DIO she can’t manipulate anything, or go get a steam roller though given her powers she can probably make something into one, so tha’ts still on the table. She instead enters someone’s mindscape and uses that to freeze time for a bit.. how .. I have no idea, but it’s an interesting concept and the white look of the void their in now is neat, with only steelbeak himself present in a black and white negative of himself.  Huey takes this as time to plan indeiftely till he finds one that works, shooting down actually fighting Steelbeak as “a cowardly brute’s way out”. We then get a great montage as Huey tries everything, from reasoning, to barganing, to crying, to a TON of hilarious and obviously ineffectual disgusies, to lying.. which as you’d expect is simply holding the massive sword blade behind his back and going “what sword.” It’s a really great montage that shows off two things: Danny Pudi’s talent, and that Huey.. can’t reason or trick his way out of this. He can’t plan his way out. And that’s why Steelbeak is the perfect foe to put him up against: Unlike Webby who faced something she could understand and Louie, who simply faced his evil counterpart, Huey faces his exact oppsotie: Huey thrives on logic and as we soon learns bury’s his emotions and impulses and dosen’t fight unless he HAS TO and even then it’s usually in a group. Steelbeak.. is a dumb, impulsive, thug who thinks out his plans on the fly, if at all, laughs at logic, and thinks the best solution to everything is punch it or blow it up. He can’t be reasoned with, Huey isn’t good enough at deception to trick him, and outrunning him was the first thing Huey tried and failed miserably. Steelbeak is made of huey’s blind spot, his inablaity to act without thinking. And he can’t fight it. 

While Lena’s humored him despite her annoyance with Huey’s stubborness, she finally breaks and tries to force him to admit he has to brute force his way out, with Huey refusing.. but his refusal brings out a door to “the duke of making a mess”. Naturally something this ominous and personal, and the fact they have no other options and she wants to prove a point, is catnip to Lena who lets the king out.. who turns out to be what you’d get if Bart Simpson’s evil deformed twin Hugo and the messed up Dipper Clone from Gravity Falls did a fusion dance. While also in a nice nod looking VERY similar, with his broad fangs and red eyes, to the evil version of mickey from runaway brain. It’s also somehow the SECOND TIME i’ve seen a child supress his negative emotions to the point they manifested into a person shoved deep inside our hero’s head. Lena naturally loves this feral goblin who Huey explains as all his impulses and emotoins, his spur of the moemnt ones anyway, funneled into one being so he can use logic and only logic.  So basically.. Huey is bruce banner.. get.. this kid.. some therapy. 

Point is Huey dosen’t want to embrace his wild side, while Lena points out he needs to, and that sh’es learned from experince being a part of ones self someone ignored entirely as Magica’s shadow he can’t just ignore this and hope it goes away. And given Bruce Banner eventually got several more split personalities which turn into hulking rage monsters, which are a sadist with a good core, a raging child and a las vega leg breaker, and that KO repressing TKO just lead to his other half killing everything he loved and only getting that snapped back thanks to god himself... yeah maybe Lena’s right. And this really brilliantly plays into Lena’s development: Her past two episodes have been entirely about her solving a problem, her nightmares and her wondering magic, that she’s been running from by facing it. She’s learned by now you can’t just ignore something and expect it to go away. Again, that’s how you get Hulks. You have to face your sometimes literal demons and yourself to get better and make things better. And now she’s learned that, it’s Huey’s turn. His entire problem has been that he functions entirely on reason and when reason can’t work, he falls apart. It’s something I honed in on last week and has come up again. The point Lena, and the episode, is making with this bit is that sometimes you just have to trust yourself and go with your gut.  Huey, reluctnatly lets the duke out who goes Donald on Steelbeak... seriously while the big team shot of the cousins and triplets at the end of season 2 showed Huey as Fethry.. he’s easily the most Donald of the group. He’s considerate, romantic, seriously the date he set up for Fenton really was sweet and Violet is in for some very nice evenings.. but also stubborn, prone to mental breakdowns, badly needs therapy (which donald IS getting so there’s hope), and when angry is a demon sent straight from hell. I REALLY hope this gets pointed out at some point.  However without focus the Duke is useless so Lena convinces Huey that he needs to not fight the duke as some evil demonic part of him but accept him: USE his rationality and strategy with his more violent and angry impulses. The two reunite with a hand shake, seriously i’m getting so many KO and TKO vibes this episode what the actual hell, and thei rmerged self easily beats steelbeak witha  wedgie and tied shoelaces. It’s beautiful to see and Lena is brought to tears.  Before we get to the finale, this was EASILY the best segment, using Lena’s character growth to faciltiate Huey’s that’s been going on all season: making him see he needs to step out of his comfort zone of logic and accept his own inner strenght, his complete self, to really function. It’s good well done stuff and the setting is really intresting.  THE FINALE: You are my Inner Strength

So naturally all the parts come together as Scrooge and Heron’s fight lands near Huey and Lena with Webby, Dewey, Violet and Louie all showing up soon after. Scrooge in a really nice moment is  utterly proud of the kids, having had the utmost faith in them to get the pieces, and having his faith validated. He may be a cynical, sometimes assholish, old man.. but he loves and believes in his kids and future kids in law, he trusts them more than himself and he’s come far enough to not doubt them when he needs them most. FOWL however has regrouped, and Scrooge.. just gives them the assembled sword. Unsurprisingly, if still awesomely this is a ploy: Heron tries using the sword.. but it flies out of her hand and into Scrooges. He out gambited them. Also getting JoJo’s Bizzare Adventure vibes this episode with all the planning and counter planning and I am loving it. As he explains the sword reponds to true inner strength,  while heron is all surface level: All malice and schemes and nothing beneath her character, as are the others. There 3 dimensional characters.. but their all pretty open with who they are and not really open to introspection, where as our heroes are and thus grew.. and Scrooge already knows his inner strength: The kids. THey helped him  become a better person, all of them except violet and she just joined the family give her time. They’ve all helped him let his walls down and let people in again after the tragedy of della destroyed him emotionally and put the walls up thick, with Lena being the one to finally get him to destroy them for good. They’ve all helped him be better and he’s helped them all be better in turn, giving them a live of adventure where there their best selves and becoming great kids who will become incredible adults. Their love for one another is what drives them. And thus activates the sword. FOWL seemingly decides to just book and our heroes have won.  Scrooge rewards his kids, new additons included, with some street meat cut byt he sword, and we get nice little shots of the lessons having sunk in with Huey knawing into his like a rabid wolf and Dewey and Webby sharing theirs blindly i’ts a sweet conclusion to a fun episode. But given we’re in the thick of the story arc now, FOWL naturally didn’t just book it for no reason.. this was all a setup. Heron calls back to Bradford with a mission accomplished and a lock of scrooge’s feathers. 

It’s genuinely impressive as there’s no way F.O.W.L. can loose here: They win the sword.. and they have both the feathers for whatever nightmare they have planned for the Ducks, and another Missing Mystery for their grand scheme. They loose.. and they likely already have a plan to get any mysteries the ducks gather, just like last time, and they still get what they want. Either way Scrooge and the audience are unaware of the real plan, and FOWL is still ahead. 

Dew-abolical! 

Final Thoughts for the Episode as a Whole:

While a bit weaker than the last two weeks, and almost entirely thanks to the first segment, this episode is still a fun ride and a great way to kick things off now the ducks and F.O.W.L. are both on the offensive. It was also a great way to bring the Saberwing Sisters back and give them some fresh dynamics outside of Webby for a change, bring back some old faviorite vilians and in general pack a fun, Barks and Rosa style adventure story into the myth arc while still dripping with the character progression and dynamics this show lives for. One dark spot aside this really is a great episode, and the other two segements are clever and fun enough to easily ignore that. This season continues to be the show at it’s absolute peak doing what it’s always done best: taking the past and making something fantastic with it.  Next Week: The kids, sadly minus my girls, audition to replace Zeus! Horay! Finally Zeus got MeTooed! It took long enough.. I mean they wrote entire sonets about his sex crimes. This isn’t a Bill Cosby situation where it suprised the general public, no one liked him since greek times to begin with. Also DAISY RETURNS! Horay! And so does the incredible storkules, MASTER OF COCKBLOCKING!  Also Horay! Seriously unlike the last two blocks of episodes there’s not a one i’m not excited about in the bunch.  Until then you can check my blogs for more reviews, and I plan to do the first episode this month and adjust my patreon rewards accordingly. You can follow said patreon at pateron dot com/popculturebuffet, comission reviews of other ducktales or cartoon episodes for 5 dollars an episode by shooting me an ask or message on here, and get out and vote tomorrow.. that’s not related to me but given how crucial this election is. Do it get out and vote. Until we meet again it’s been a pleasure. 

[jbuffyangel]

Weekly Rundown 10/21/18-10/26/18

Time to rundown what I’m watching, loving, hating and everything in between! Spoilers ahead! Full episode reviews and reactions are linked in the titles.

Daredevil Season 3

Just so y’all know - most nuns do not wear their habits in public anymore. It’s been that way since Vatican II, but TV refuses to catch up.

The action is amaaaaazing again. I love how Matt actually gets tired when he’s fighting.

I don’t want Matt to put that ugly Daredevil suit on again he looks ridiculous. Keep the black mask and call it a day.

I want Foggy to propose very badly. I need a Foggy wedding in Season 4.

Is there any particular reason why Karen didn’t haul ass to Frank’s Punisher lair when her life was in danger and Matty Mcbrown eyes was off Daredeviling an existential crisis? That’s where I’d go.

Matt refusing to ask the other Defenders help because “it’s not their fight” is the stupidest reason ever.

Arrow (“The Longbow Hunters”)

It is a bit creepy when Stan says, “I bet a guy like that would do anything to keep his family safe.” Maybe Stan is a nuthouse, but leave me to my dream for now.

Is it me or did Yorke look older than 40? 1978????

Deputy Director Bell is evil. Calling it now.

The Longbow Hunters don’t actually use bows. This is a twist I did not see coming.

Bl*ck S*ren can’t lawyer worth a damn, but she can wear a suit.

“Stay behind me.” That was oddly hot Rene. I’m wildly uncomfortable that I find you attractive right now, but it is what it is.

Rene: Been back in town a week and you’re already sneaking out of A.R.G.U.S. behind Papa Dig’s back? I’m so proud.

Felicity: Thanks man.

This whole exchange was delightful and not remotely derogatory like “Blondie.” THY NAME IS CHARACTER GROWTH.

“Grab your balls Curtis, we’re going in.” If the Rene character only exists to say this one line of dialogue then it was worth it.

Why didn’t BS and Dinah go after the Longbow Hunter? What is up with allowing all these criminals to run away at a moderately brisk pace and our people acting like they can’t catch them? They are called legs! Move your ass!  

BITCH YOU BETTER NOT STEP ON THAT PHOTO!!!!!!!

Legends of Tomorrow  (“The Virgin Gary”)

Legends Season 4 premiere is fantastic and full of all the hi-jinks I’ve missed over hiatus.

“Speaking of the same old crap isn’t that what he did last year?”Legends gets points for acknowledging that Wally gets the storyline shaft a lot.

When you are officially a hero the time bureau gives you a medal, but I was more excited about the balloons.

It would be super weird if the Legends spent more than a day in 2018.

Remember when Oliver asked Sara to move in with him and she went running screaming in the other direction? It all worked out because Sara knew he was really in love with Felicity. I’m just saying she’s come a looooong way.

I want to be clear about one thing and it’s not up for debate. Ready? The best thing about Legends is Mick. It’s always Mick. That is all.

OMG NATE’S FATHER IS BIFF FROM BACK TO THE FUTURE?????!!!!!!!! THIS IS SPECTACULAR CASTING!!!

Manifest “Connecting Flights”

It was nice to fill in the back story of the characters left behind after the plane went missing, however the show is starting to lose my attention. I need more movement on these character relationships. Manifest is hitting a lot of the same notes week after week.

This Is Us (“Toby”)

Randall is going ahead with the city council job? Are they independently wealthy Does no one have to work?

Baby Toby is the cutest.

Holy crap is this how in vitro really works? It’s so friggin expensive and no guarantees. Wow, my sympathies to all those who have gone through this excruciating process.

Randall unbuttoning his shirt is all the reason I need to vote for him. Done deal. 

Toby used his wonderful sense of humor to cheer up his depressed Mom. Ugh my heart.

But for real though sometimes you need just “one damn day.” #MomLife

Three hours to get ready Kate? Just as an FYI - that’s all over when you have a baby. You’ll be lucky to get a shower.

Miguel carried a piano up stairs to cheer Rebecca up. That’s love.

“There’s so much of her in you it scares me.” THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SAY TO YOUR CHILD ASSHOLE.

A+ on the prom dresses. Absolutely what I wore in high school. We were fashionista slaves in the late nineties.

Kate’s impression of Adele is dead on.

Miguel tries so hard. He’s just trying to keep his promise to Jack.

Rebecca is such an amazing mom. Kate doesn’t give her nearly enough credit.

KATE IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Rookie (Pilot” and “Crash Course”)

I really loved The Rookie. I typically don’t hate procedurals, but this one has surprised me thus far. It’s fast paced, so it held my attention more. I hope it stays that way. 

I love how it is the rookies versus the training officers. It fills my Rookie Blue void.

I am not invested in any ships yet. I am not buying the romance between Nolan and Lucy so far. I actually think Lucy has more chemistry with Bradford and Nolan with the Captain.

A Million Little Things (“Friday Night Dinner” and “The Game of Your Life”)

I want to love this show, but they are making it next to impossible. I hate cheating storylines in any show. It’s one of the main reasons I quit watching Shonda Rhimes’ shows because she is unable to write one without including adultery. Arrow’s original love story revolved around cheating and was an absolute mess. It feels like a lazy way to inject drama. This cheating storyline between Eddie and Delilah is making two characters who are otherwise very likable extremely unlikable. 

Instead of jettisoning this plot into the atmosphere where it belongs and never speaking of it again, A Million Little Things is double down on it.  Delilah is pregnant! Oh wonderful, now we get to play “Who’s the Daddy?” for several weeks.

Apparently, the writers come from The Fl*sh school of writing. Characters can only be mad at other characters for one episode. All the friends found out about Eddie and Delilah’s affair and the very next week they are sitting down to pizza. It’s at Delilah’s house and Eddie’s wife Katherine comes too because FRIENDS. No. Just no.

Instead of being angry at Eddie and Delilah, the friends make excuses for them. Regina’s conversation with Delilah turned into a huge “I didn’t see your pain” apology, which is flat out ridiculous. What Delilah did was so off the charts wrong there is no excuse for it. If you are in pain see a therapist. It’s not an excuse to cheat on your husband. Also, Regina you are not to blame for Delilah lying to everyone for over two years. 

Gary, who has been the angriest, decides he’s being too hard on Eddie (ya know by actually holding him accountable for his actions) and lets Eddie move in with him after his wife finally kicked him out. Are you freaking kidding me with this? I was already mildly irked at Gary for giving Delilah a free pass, but I understood his reasoning because her husband just jumped off a building. She has been punished quite a lot. But Eddie? I think we could muster a couple episodes of anger towards Eddie.

The writers attempted drum up sympathy for Delilah by shining a little light on her seemingly perfect marriage with Jon. It’s not really perfect, but what marriage is? Jon was short with Delilah during a family dinner. He took a phone call from work and snapped, “Everything I do is for this family.” What a bastard. Of course, that is reason enough for Delilah to jump into bed with Eddie, her husband’s best friend. GIVE. ME. A. FRIGGIN. BREAK. If my husband slept with someone else every time I was cranky with him, he’d have a harem.

So, on top of being suicide apologists, the writers are adding cheating apologists. There is no reason to cheat. It’s just mean. Nobody has put a gun to your head. If you want out of your marriage you march to an attorney’s office and file for divorce. Not sure if you want a divorce? Then go to counseling. But cheating, under any circumstances, is wrong. It’s cruel and selfish. It’s trying to have your cake and eat it too. A Million Little Things trying to excuse away Eddie and Delilah’s heinous behavior is almost as bad as the cheating itself. Trying to make suicide and cheating okay with excuses is dangerous behavior. I AM NOT A FAN.

Stray Thought - on what planet is a school program presented in the middle of the freaking day? What kind of ridiculous school do Eddie and Katherine send their son to?

Blindspot (“The Quantico Affair”) 

Zapata has a very interesting running stride. Sorry I was in cross country. That stuff interests me

Roman saying "He knows. This is it. Kill him" underscores the dramatic tension.

I’m gonna need someone on Team Blindspot to pick up on Remi's side eye. Y'all are FBI agents for goodness sake.

I don't actually know what Patterson's name is, but I feel confident it is not Lisa.

I think Martin Gero saw me write "Where is Patterson's storyline?" in my last review. I could have opted for patience, but complaining loudly via written word felt like a better plan. 

Hey watch the condemnation Remi aka Jane aka double secret agent who told so many lies I can't keep it straight anymore.

OMG Rich not explaining how the tattoo was solved is the best thing ever. PLEASE DO THIS EVERY WEEK

I wanna talk about the Book of Secrets mostly because Rich calls it the Book of Secrets.

Hahaha. Her one night stand showed up at work. This is how Meredith and McDreamy began. I highly recommend elevator scenes too.

One night stand boy is Weitz's nephew. IT. JUST. GOT. BETTER

Sure Madeline come on in and check out our super secret tattoo murder board.

"Thundercats ho!" OMG was that an ad lib?

Totally ship Patterson and this dude. I should probably learn his name.

Somebody tell Rich about the one night stand. Pleeeeeeeease.

I'm not calling him Lincoln. He shall be known as "Slab of Man-Ham" forevermore.

Patterson and Rich are the perfect work wife/husband team. Remember Rich is the work wife

How does Weitz maintain employment? This may be the greatest of all Blindspot's mysteries.

Of course "Jane" and Weller are on the train Weitz. IT'S THEIR JOB. Seriously someone get this dude a DVD of #Blindspot S1-S3

Patterson girl, Jane is never that cranky with you when she's diffusing bombs. SOMEBODY NOTICE PERSONALITY CHANGES PLEASE!!!

"You're new here." ALL KNEEL TO PATTERSON.

[atlafan]

The Game: Part 8

Rucas au multi-fic. Lucas and Riley have been best friends for as long as they can remember. They finally tell each other how they feel, and are able to get together, but some friction occurs when Riley’s Uncle Shawn introduces everyone to his new wife and daughter.

a/n: FINAL PART

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven

“Thanks again for having lunch with me.” Maya says to the beautiful girl sitting across from her.

“No problem. After I heard what you did to Riley, well, I almost wanted to congratulate you.”

“Your name is Missy right?”

“Yup, Missy Bradford.”

“So what can you tell me about the two of them? I mean, Lucas kind of seems like a douche.”

“Lucas Friar is harmless. Eye candy for sure, but totally harmless. If anything he’s just extremely oblivious. We tried going out once, but he ended it because of Riley.”

“Why? They weren’t going out.”

“No, but there was always something between them. I don’t know if it’s because she was the first person he met when he moved here or what.”

“How did they meet exactly?”

“She fell into his lap on the subway. Complete accident, that girl is a clumsy as they come. She had seen him get on and of course she thought he was cute, so you can imagine how she was when she see who she fell on. And from what I’ve heard from others on that train that day, he saw her falling, and pulled her into his lap so she wouldn’t land on the floor. It’ll be a cute story to tell their grandkids some day. No other girl stood a chance with him after that. She thought I’d be a bad influence on him. She didn’t have the courage to admit that she liked him right then, so she told him that she really liked being friends with him, and didn’t want it to change. It was true, her, him, and Farkle had become inseparable.”

“Yeah, I was wondering about Farkle. Him and Smackle are together, but I heard that didn’t happen until high school. Did he ever have a thing for Riley?”

“He said he would always love her, but it’s completely platonic.”

“Interesting. So, Lucas and Riley went like five years just as friends?”

“Basically. There was this one kid, Charlie Gardner, who had an insane crush on Riley. They even went on a couple of dates.”

“Really? What happened to that?”

“I don’t really know for sure. Honestly, I think Lucas got jealous that she was spending so much time with Charlie and not him. He said he didn’t trust him, and thought he was creepy. I don’t think Riley was all that into Charlie either, so she ended it. I guess Lucas figured out that he really liked Riley when she visited him in Texas last summer, then they went to junior prom together, and you could just tell they were into each other. It really wasn’t that shocking that they made things official coming into the school year.”

“But Lucas is a jock, I didn’t think she’d be into that.”

“If they had just met, she’d probably think he was some fuck boy or something, but they have a history together. They’ve grown up together Maya. They’ve each seen each other at extremely low and high points. I’m actually really happy for them.”

“So what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Who are you seeing these days?”

“Well, a lot has changed for me since seventh grade as well. I’m happy to say I’ve been seeing this freshman at NYU for the past four months, and it’s been going great. She’s really great.”

“Wow, a she? Good for you Missy.”

“Thanks. I had dated a few other boys here and there, and something never really felt right. I met Gwen at the movie theater at the end of last year, and I felt something I had never felt before, plus in general it’s nice dating someone outside of high school.”

“I bet. Well, thanks for eating and sharing all of this info with me.”

“Sure, no problem. Use the info wisely. As much as I can’t stand Riley, she doesn’t deserve the harassment.”

Missy got up with her lunch tray, and left Maya there to ponder. A few of Maya’s art class friends sit down with her.

“Hey Maya, how’s it going?”

“Good, how’s it going for you guys?”

Riley sees Maya talking with her friends from across the cafeteria. She goes to sit down with her friends.

“You know it’s amazing. Those art kids have no idea how psychotic she is.” Riley says.

“Maybe they do know and they don’t care. Maybe they’re all psychotic.” Farkle says.

“I just wish she’d focus more on them than on us.” Lucas says, giving Riley a peck on the cheek.

“Um, excuse me but no PDA at lunch please.” Smackle says.

“Oh come on Smackle that was hardly anything. It was just a kiss on the cheek.” Lucas retorts.

“It starts with that. Pretty soon you two will be making out under the table.”

“Doubtful.” Riley says giggling. “I think I should talk to her.”

“Why?” Lucas asks.

“Because whatever is going on needs to just stop. I don’t want her trying to do something else to get us angry with each other. I’m going over there.”

Riley walks over to Maya’s table. Everyone there gives her a funny look.

“I know, I’m not one of your people. Maya can we talk privately?”

“Sure, why not.” She gets up, and they go to an empty table.

“It would be nice if you apologized.”

“For what? As I see it, I did you a favor.”

“I saw you talking to Missy Bradford before. She doesn’t like me very much.”

“The one of few people I’m sure.”

“That’s not true. A lot of people don’t like me. I’m too nice, too happy, too excited...the list goes on. How much did she tell you about me?”

“Enough. I already knew a lot thanks to Shawn.”

“What did he tell you?”

“That you’re basically perfect. You get good grades, you have a nice circle of friends, that you’re the perfect combination of his two best friends...the list goes on. For three years

It was Riley this and Riley that. So I like art, that doesn’t mean I can’t be successful. I freaked out on him once and told him I would never be you. Then I met you and I truly wondered what was so great. Everything about you seemed to be true. Except your relationship with Lucas is so weird. Who waits that long to tell someone how they feel?”

“He and I do what he and I do, at our own pace. How would you like it if for years people kept asking you when you were finally going to be with someone? It wasn’t the right time, now it is.”

“Well, either way I don’t want to be you.”

“Are you sure? You act like you do. You want my boyfriend, you want my friends, you want everyone to know your name. Well guess what, make a name for yourself. Don’t steal.”

“I never tried to steal anything from you, you just assumed I was going to try because I made one little comment.”

“I’ll admit, I got scared. You’re pretty, you have gorgeous blonde hair, and you’re new. I thought he’d be excited about someone new, because I thought I had become stale. I’m extremely insecure.”

“You really like admitting what you hate about yourself.”

“It’s the truth. I know what I am. My dad was so happy when he learned his best friend was moving near him, with a wife and daughter. I always loved when Uncle Shawn would come to visit. Seeing my dad happy is the best. Not that my mom doesn’t make my dad happy, I mean, she’s his other best friend…”

“But nothing beats Cory and Shawn. Believe me I know, he talks about Cory all the time. My mom would get annoyed sometimes because she thought he-”

“Loved him more than her?”

“Yeah.”

The two laugh.

“Man our dads are wierd. Sorry, do you call me him dad or Shawn?”

“Depends on the day. I never really had a father figure before. It’s nice.”

“What happened to your biological father?”

“He couldn’t handle it. He walked out on us and never came back. He would try to reach out from time to time, but I was too angry. With us, he would get mad and drink his paycheck away. Then he met someone else and became a stand up guy to her and to the kids they had together. It was totally unfair, and I’ll never forgive him. I’ve tried, but I just can’t. For so long I thought everything was my fault, but it wasn’t. It never was.”

“Wow that’s crazy. I couldn’t imagine going through something like that as such a young age.”

Maya goes to say something, but she pauses, and looks down.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t...I just, how did you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Get me to feel bad for what I did?”

Riley tilts her head to the side and smiles at Maya. She puts her hand on hers and gives it a little squeeze.

“You know what’s weird?” She asks the blonde girl sitting across from her.

“What?”

“You’re actually really easy to talk to.”

“You’re really easy to talk to too.”

“Even though Lucas and I have always been able to talk, I never really had a girl best friend to talk to. For a long time I was left alone with my thoughts about him. Smackle and I are close, but she doesn’t really do the girl talk thing. But you, you’re a pusher. I feel like if I had known you back then you would have smacked me upside the head and told me to just tell him. Maybe that’s why I’m so bitter towards you. We could have been great friends.”

“This is why Shawn and Cory should have just let us meet naturally instead of forcing something on us.”

“I have a crazy idea.”

“What?”

“Let’s start over.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I am. What you did was shitty, but I can’t shake the feeling that we’re supposed to be friends. I think we’ve both calmed down from everything.”

“Okay, yeah I’d really like that. Some of those other art kids are weird.”

“Great. Just do me a favor. Don’t flirt with Lucas, even if it’s playful.”

“No worries.”

“Come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“I want to formally introduce you to my friends.”

The girls get up and walk back over to Lucas, Farkle, and Smackle.

“Everyone, this is my new friend Maya. She’s new to the school, so be nice.”

“Riley, are you feeling okay?” Farkle asks.

“Never better. We just had a really great heart to heart, and have decided to be friends.”

“Are you sure?” Lucas asks.

“Positive.”

“Sup guys. Sorry about before.” Maya says.

“Do you want to do homework with us after school?” Smackle asks.

“Yeah, you guys go to Topanga’s right?”

“Mhm.”

“Sounds good to me.”

*************************************************************************************

A month passes by, and Maya assimilates into the group smoothly. It was like they had all known each other for their whole lives. She was able to give Riley advice on a lot of things when it came to the subject of Lucas.

One night Lucas climbs in through Riley’s window while she’s sitting on her bed doing homework.

“You know you’re supposed to use the front door.”

“What’s the fun in that?” He goes over and kisses her. “What are you working on?”

“Oh I’m just getting a jump on a paper.” She looks at him and smiles. “We didn’t have plans tonight did we?”

“Nope, I just felt like seeing your cute face. I got you a little something.” Lucas takes out a small box from his pocket.

“Um…” Riley’s face flushes.

“Relax”, he says opening it up. “It’s a promise ring. You wear it on your right ring finger. I’ll wear one too. That is if you want to.”

“What does it mean?”

“It means I promise to never hurt you, to always love you, and to treat you like a princess.”

“Lucas, I’d love to wear your ring.” Riley sticks out her hand, and he slides it on her finger. “Thank you, this is so sweet.”

“Of course, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah of course.”

“I’m really glad Maya came into our group, I feel a puzzle piece was missing for a while.”

“I feel the same way. Hey, you know your friend Zay from back in Texas?”

“Uh..duh.”

“Well he messaged me on Facebook wondering who she was. He thinks she’s gorgeous! He said he wants to go to college up here just to meet her.”

“Well maybe she can come down to Texas sometime with us so they can meet.”

“That would be so much fun! I think they’d make a cute couple.”

“Yeah, but not cuter than us.”

Lucas lays down, and pulls Riley down on top of him to cuddle. Lucas had really impressed Riley with how mature he was about their relationship.

“Are your parents going away fro Columbus Day weekend like they usually do?” She asks.

“Yup, they’re headed to Boston. Why?”

“I was thinking I could come over...and spend the night.”

“In what context? Because you’ve spent the night before and-”

“In your room, in your bed, with you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I am.”

He kisses the top of her head and holds her tight.

“You make me happier and happier everyday Riley Matthews.”

[lonelyblueboyo]

Dear self,

Dear Jellybean,

No, it’s not mum writing you a letter. But we both know that she’s the only one that has a will ever call you that so, I thought I’d be a nice touch. I know that you might not even know what this all means or if you would have enough time to read something other than paperwork but I just wanted you to know that I am doing alright, we together as one made it through one of the darkest episodes of our lives. Now, I am not going to lie to you and say that it was easy and that I still am not struggling, because I am. I struggle every single day. I miss being woken up at 6 am by dad knocking on my door, telling me to wear a matching suit to his and be ready in 10. I miss walking out of my room to be met by mum reading Vogue and looking at her old life, the one before us. Probably Kendall would still be asleep, waiting for her alarm clock to hit 7 so she can get ready for school. I don’t really think that dad’s way of treating us was the best, but it’s the routine what has really gotten me through it. Waking up every day and leaving my bed, having little to no time in my hands, now I am grateful of that, I truly am but I wished you could change that. Make some friends, live your teenage years, fall in love, get your heart broken because things only get much more complicated as I got older.

I know I can’t change the past but by writing you this, maybe if I had read it, it would have prepared me better for the future. Grief all you need, feel the pain of loss, miss mum and dad, don’t try to conceal all of it with work and falling into the routine (I know I’m contradicting myself by now), you are putting a clog to the real issue and I’m dealing with it now. Kendall will do her best to help, she is the only thing we will have left and that’s enough, I wouldn’t want anything else. We did a great job while growing up to keep her safe from the world and gave her the love dad couldn’t. She deserves the entire world and she has the biggest heart ever so if you ever fight with her, which will happen, be the bigger person and apologise even if it wasn’t your fault, it isn’t worth it, it’s not worth it to ruin your relationship with her. I wouldn’t have made it this far if it wasn’t for her.

Do you remember that summer when we went to Montauk? The neighbours had this really pretty dog and it was the first time we went out for the summer, dad was not checking his phone every two seconds and was actually paying attention to Kendall. We saw mum crying, do you remember? We saw her in the wine cellar, curled up on a corner, drinking that very yummy grape juice as she would call it, my only regret is not having comforted her. I miss her. I miss her voice and the strong smell of her hair products. I miss her soft hand… Fuck, she had the softest hands and they felt amazing against my face, she could always manage to make us smile when dad was being over the top.

Things will not get easier, I am not going to lie to you but they will get better. You’ll feel things you have never felt before, you’ll travel places, you’ll have a lot of moments when you are truly happy but there will also be the dark ones, which make the good ones even more memorable. Also, eat something. Dad fucked us up quite a bit for neglecting the fact that we were kids and not grown ass adults. So, get some cake, some fries, gain some weight because I haven’t been able to now. Also??? Like, when Pierre Hammingdale tries to kiss you, don’t push him away, I still regret that he wasn’t my first kiss. He was fucking hot, god dammit and now, his family owns one-third of Europe. Anyways, if you can’t kiss him just know that your (SPOILERS) first kiss will happen when you turn 21, yup, I know, tragic. But I… I think it was worth the wait, it was truly something else. I still feel *** lips against mine from time to time, like the tingling and his warm breath and I-Oop. I’m getting off track here, anyways… Yeah, things are harder now, but much much better. People will come into your life and stay, they will try their hardest to stay so enjoy it, stop freaking out so much about everything. We are headed the right way, Also that geometry exam? Don’t overwork yourself trying to figure out what all those angles mean, someone sets fire to the curtains and the exam is cancelled.

That would be all, little me.

Be strong,

Love,

Reginald Bradford.

[underachievers-please-try-harder]

Interview // Eleanor Friedberger

I interviewed Eleanor Friedberger for 7digital.

Your last album was partially inspired by your move from Brooklyn to upstate New York, and Rebound was also influenced by a change of environment, right?

Yeah. I mean, before trying to sit down to write anything I think it’s really valuable to immerse yourself in a new state of mind. Having a different country or city certainly helps. So I spent about two months in Athens last year.

Did you head there specifically for inspiration?

No, I went because after the presidential election in the US I really wanted to get out of the country for a bit. (Laughs) I mean, I wanted to go somewhere else to start writing and I had always wanted to spend more time in Athens. My mother’s Greek-American and I’ve spent a lot of time in Greece, but mostly on beach holiday-type visits, and when I’d arrive into Athens it would usually only be for a night or two. I hate using such a generic word, but there’s a very special atmosphere and energy there. I wanted to take some Greek lessons, which I did, and I thought that I would also write songs for the album. It turns out I didn’t do much writing but I did a lot of research, and I also met a bunch of musicians and formed a band while I was there, and played a few shows, which was very valuable.

It’s interesting you say you left after the presidential election. Were you surprised by the result?

Yeah, I was definitely in that camp of total shock and horror. I had been travelling so much that year and I was away the night of the election – I was in Tel Aviv in Israel, of all places, doing a gig, and then in Rome the day after that. It was such a strange feeling to be so far away from home and yet still be so upset. I felt incredibly alienated, and I wanted to try to capture that feeling somehow on an album.

You’ve described your trip to Greece as a reconnaissance mission. How so? What did you take away?

Well I have a few specific anecdotes, like going to this nightclub that was called Rebound. For me it encapsulated all the problems, and then also the glamour and ruined fabulousness, that is Athens to me. The neon sign, with the lightbulb that’s been out for God knows how many years. There’s a no smoking sign but when you go downstairs everyone is smoking. There’s music that you think is familiar that could be The Cure or Joy Division, but then you listen more closely and you can’t understand any of it...

I also met a lot of Greek musicians, and it was a nice treat to remember that you can just form a band with anybody. But I also felt a particular sense of pride getting to play with other Greek people, because I’m half-Greek. It was funny to suddenly to be in a band and to look around onstage and see people that could be my brothers and my cousins. (Laughs) It made me feel a sense of belonging in a very foreign place. And Greece for me has this perfect balance of foreign and familiar.

In terms of taking something away... I grew up in Chicago and I went to university in Austin, Texas, so for me that was almost as far away as I could go in a sense. It was like moving to another country. And then I moved to London when I was 22 and again that was a huge change. I try to do that sometimes. It’s just the feeling that you get from going somewhere with just two suitcases and feeling like you’re a foreigner in a strange land, and then how quickly you assimilate to that place and how quickly you can make that place your home... That process is really exciting to me and I would do that every couple of years if I could.

You left the US because of political turmoil, but the political climate in Greece is hardly idyllic.

(Laughs) No, in fact it’s far more complicated and worse in a lot of ways. But because this is such an ongoing crisis, economically speaking, things had actually settled down a bit when I went there. But still, I went to a place where there are protests and marches certainly every week, if not sometimes more. I think a lot of people find [protests] just part of the daily fabric of life there in a way, which is kind-of comforting in a weird way. But you’d see instances, like a garbage collectors strike happening during a heatwave, like, literally just piles and piles of garbage on a 100 degree day, for days and days. Those are stark reminders, like, “Something’s not quite right here.”

Speaking of protests, did you attend any of the women’s marches?

I did. During the first women’s march, I met up with another American woman who I’d just met in Athens and there was a very small gathering outside the US Embassy in Athens, but I’m glad that I did that. It was really funny because we didn’t really know what we were doing, and moments later there was this very well organised march of Greek people just protesting the election of Trump in general. (Laughs) So it completely superseded us. But then this past year when it was the one year anniversary of the initial women’s march, I was in Los Angeles and I was glad that I got to attend that.

So what was your starting point for Rebound?

For me it was an instrument I bought. I kinda got it as a joke: I just walked into a music store and there was this late 70s Casio keyboard that was really beautiful and I just turned it on and messed around with it for five minutes, and thought, “Oh, I’m going to buy this. Even if I write one song with this it will be worth the price.” And I took it home and it became my new best friend, and I ended up writing loads of songs on it. It had a built-in drum machine with different drumbeats, and you could also use the automated basslines, so I ended up making up all these songs, writing melodies on the keyboard with my right hand and then making up lyrics after the fact. And I would just build these parts of songs and put them together.

Did you have any musical reference points?

Mostly as a reaction to my last album, I wanted to make something where it sounded like I was taking my time a bit more. I wanted to make something that sounded kind-of cinematic and meditative, and more like a soundtrack to an unmade movie or something. And have it be more artificial-sounding, in contrast to my last album which was really warm and organic, and about five people playing in a room together.

I mean, originally I thought I wanted to make something that sounded really harsh and angry and aggressive with loud guitar feedback and me trying to scream. But maybe I’m not capable of that kind of music? It’s interesting as to what you set out to do and what comes out. It’s like, I always think about copying certain things and then in the process of copying something you come out with something totally new and hopefully unique.

Recording this album was a more solitary process than previous records. Was that challenging?

Well the challenges are that it’s only up to you, and you can only do as much as you’re capable of doing, but the rewards are, “Oh my god, listen to this f**king guitar solo I just played! I didn’t even know I could play guitar.” Playing guitar leads was the most exciting thing to me, and that’s the kind of thing that I would never have given myself. I have no problem paying someone to play on my record, saying, “Can you do something like this?” I enjoy that process of producing and directing someone else, but I would be embarrassed to get someone to record me trying to play the same thing on the guitar 50 times, which is maybe what I had to do on some of these songs.

Do you have someone you use as a sounding board?

Not really. By the time I show songs to someone I’m pretty confident about them being right, though obviously things will change. But actually when I was long-finished with the demos I played them for my friend Bradford Cox, who’s in a band called Deerhunter. He did say, “This is s**t,” about one song in particular, like, “Nobody needs to hear this.” Which I took to heart. (Laughs) I mean, he was also playing me some demos and I would say, “I don’t like this, I like that.” To be fair, the first thing I played him he was like, “This is perfect. You don’t need to change a thing.”

You said you wrote music first and lyrics second – is that different to how you’ve worked previously?

Yes, for me that was a big difference. Normally I start with all these scripts almost, and then set them to music and this was the opposite. But I went through a similar process when it came to actually writing the words, which was just several months being conscious of writing things down that interest me, whether that’s something somebody said or something I see on the street, or a text message, or something in an email. With the title ‘Nice To Be Nowhere’, someone said that to me about four or five years ago, and I was like, that’s gonna make a good piece of something some day.

On ‘Make Me A Song’ you draw on an encounter you had with a born again Christian, right?

I think that song is about a lot of things, but mostly about having expectations and then having them be completely turned on their head. I think it’s always really interesting when you think somebody is one thing and it turns out they’re something completely different. And in that case, I was in a foreign place and I met someone new and I’m having a nice time and then suddenly they’re telling me, “I love Jesus. Jesus is my best friend. I write songs for Jesus.” And then they try to convince me to do the same thing. And I don’t mean to say it as a judgemental thing. I was trying to keep an open spirit to that, but of course I did think, “This guy’s a f**king freak.” But in hindsight he helped me write a song. (Laughs)

Four albums into your solo career, do you think you’ve learned anything new about your outlook or your capabilities?

I would say it’s always little by little, you know. I definitely feel more confident in knowing what I’m doing, but at the same time because this album was done so much by myself – and then I went to Clemens Knieper’s studio in the end – I’d never second-guessed an album as much as I did this one. I feel like the more you know, the more critical you are so there’s that double-edged sword of being more competent but also being less secure in a way. Sometimes I think it’s a sweeter spot to be naive.

[chelsorz07]

the best part about these is I don’t look at my old answers beforehand

Who reads my surveys? Nobody? Thought so. Okay.

Have you ever had a panic attack? many, thanks. Probably several hundred, but I haven’t had one in a long time. Mostly because I never leave my house. Where is the person who has your heart at the moment? home, HQ, idk. I think he’s on nights this hitch, so work, till 6am. Do you think relationships are hard? they can be. I think everything is hard. But I mean you still gotta try. Otherwise you’re just alone and miserable forever and that’s no fun. Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life? i try. I think there are people who will remember me, but I don’t necessarily believe that I’ve had a life-changing impact. Are you a type of person who cares what people say about you? nooope. Not really. Unless they have some sort of legitimate authority over me. Like my boss. But even then I don’t dwell on it. A minimum wage job isn’t worth fretting over. Has anyone lied to you today? probably. I don’t think so. Most of my conversations today haven’t been serious enough to warrant a lie. Have you recently lost someone that means everything to you? i definitely have not. Nope. If you get a chance to move somewhere, where would you move? actually i wouldn't even mind staying in bradford, as long as i could just get out of this house. I WANT TO GO HOMEEEE. When's the last time you wanted to punch someone in the face? last night playing mario party with amanda, gary, and aaron. Not sure. Oh yeah, this bitch in front of me at the ATL show that kept twerking her ass on me to push me back when I was trying to get to my sister.   Do you understand football? i loooove football. of course i understand it. The fooseball is my life. Well not quite that severe. But yeah I get it and I need it. What is your favorite cartoon character? used to be patrick. now i don't really have one. cartoons make me rage. Experiment 626. At the moment, do you terribly miss someone? well gary's here but i still miss her cuz i only got to spend like 12 hours with her yesterday and i don't know if i'll be able to see her again before she leaves. All my people in Bradford, and my friend Faith because I haven’t seen her since April even though she literally lives like 2 miles away. What time did you wake up this morning? i didn't even get home till quarter to 6...got up at quarter to 9. My alarm was set for 9:30...Think I woke up sometime between 8:30 and 9. Do you like to cuddle/snuggle? love it. I do but I don’t. Because like cuddling is nice but I also have trouble breathing. Who was the last person you held hands with? dave. Dave is the only person I hold hands with.  Are you texting anyone? yep. Talking to Dave and Mike on fb messenger. Are you a morning person or a night person? night. My body is neither. My brain is a night person. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? it should. Who the hell knows. Do you like taking walks in the middle of the night? yeahhh. I used to. Don’t care for taking walks at all these days. What is your biggest annoyance at the moment? i have to do a bunch of shit today before i can leave...but i'm not coming home the rest of the weekend so it's all good. I’m itchy. Psoriasis probs. Who did you last take a picture with? gary and amanda. Haaaang on I have to check my camera. Maranda, on my birthday. What are you going to do tomorrow? there's a very small chance i'll go to state park to eat with the family, and then hopefully we're camping. but we always say we're camping and we never do. so i'm not optimistic. Whole lotta nothin’, and probably a load of laundry. Have you ever thrown something at anyone? all the time. I mean not like with intent to injure them. But I do tend to throw shit occasionally. Not actual shit. I’m not a baboon. Have you ever been called a bitch? i am a bitch. so yeah. This will never change. Are you currently mad at someone? no. just annoyed with my parents. Not really. I’ve actually been feeling pretty good lately. If you could have anything right now, what would it be? money. Money and not heartburn. Do you want to have children? not anytime in the forseeable future. Yeah but I don’t get emotional about it anymore because I know I don’t have my shit together enough to be responsible for the life of another human being. Plus, yaknow, I haven’t had sex in six months. Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? now. Currently. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days? yesss ^_^ No because he’s been gone for 5 days. It’s actually been about a week and a half. What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? this morning. um...i cleared stuff off my bed. Peed, probably. Smoked a cigarette, definitely. Does cuddling freak you out? not even remotely. Just when I start suffocating. Last person you saw other than family? gary, aaron, and amanda. My old Elder-Beerman friends. I visited them after work today. Are you happy? toats!! I don’t know as I’d go that far but I do feel better than I have in months. Were you single on your last birthday? no.  I was not.

Do you talk a lot? way too much. I can, when it’s been too long since I’ve had human contact. I also talk to myself, and to my cats. But I like my quiet time too. Do you ignore people when you're mad/upset with them? usually. I ignore people pretty much always. Who was the last person to go to the movies with you? marty. yeah. i haven't been to the movies in almost 2 years. Dave. It was over a year ago though. We’re not theater people. I just REALLY wanted to see Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates. Who do you turn to when you're down? friends. My Marshie ♥ Do you swear a lot? all the damn time. Can’t not. I swear so much it’s not even swearing anymore. Are there any bruises on your body? yes! don't ask. lol Yeah idk what happened I think one of the tote bag hanger things at work attacked me. Have you ever had stitches? when i got my tonsils out. Yes. Tonsils and gallbladder.  Would you go out with someone right now if they asked? i'm already with someone. Sorry, I’s a taken woman. Do you think you can last in a relationship for six months? i can. If the last eight years are anything to go by, I’d say so. Have you ever slept on a couch with someone of the opposite sex? futon, couch, whatevs. Yup. Who was the last person you had a serious conversation with? dude the four of us spent like five hours just talking about shit last night. Probably Amanda. That’s who I have all my serious conversations with. When you meet the right person, do you fall fast? yes. i sure as hell did this time. I guess so. What did you do last night? tanning with amanda, dinner with her and gary, then we went to olean, hung out with the guys downtown for a while, and went back to gary's uncle's house and played the Wii until 5am lol Watched Shameless and cried about Mickey. Again. What's one thing you're tired of? being controlled. Being poor and being sad all the time. Also heartburn. Are you a jealous person? no. Ehh. Not really. What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? fuckin' sleeping. Very close to waking up. I had a weird dream but don’t remember what it was about. Do you say sexy a lot? i hate that word. Only about the cast of Supernatural. Are you a bad influence? haha probably. appaently i get people drunk and take advantage of them. i didn't hear him complaining though lol I mean I encourage smoking, drinking, and the destruction of men. But I don’t think I have enough clout to actually influence anyone. Do you have trust issues? not really. i just don't trust people until they've earned it. I don’t really trust anyone. I’ve just accepted that that’s not a thing anymore. Do you straighten your hair everyday? no. Maybe once a week or once every two weeks. My hair is pretty cooperative most of the time so it looks okay just drying it. Have you argued with anyone today? ehh. kinda random bickering. Not that I recall. Any current scabs or bruises? you asked this already. You asked this already. Are you klutzy? very. Obviously if I’ve always got bruises I don’t know the cause of. Ever tripped over your own feet? oh, daily. Quite often. Would you consider permanent make-up? no. a couple women my mom works with have their eyeliner or lipliner tattooed on...it's not attractive. I like doing my makeup differently every day too much to do that. Will your next kiss be a mistake? no way. Um, no. Are you nice to everyone? ha. nope. I’m nicer than I used to be. What is the last non-alcoholic drink you had? monster. Sweet tea. That’s why I have heartburn. What was the best thing that happened today? nothing really good has happened today. i want my shirts to come...and i'll be out later, so that's always good. My old supervisor hugging me when I haven’t seen her in months and thought she was mad at me for quitting. Are you open about your feelings or closed off? depends what i'm feeling and who i'm dealing with. If they’re good, meh, or sucky feelings I’ll talk about them. If they’re really bad I’ll either joke about them to avoid dealing or just not talk at all. What's the last thing you borrowed from someone? erica's sunglasses, and she told me i could have them lol Ummmmm...I don’t interact with people enough to borrow things, I guess. Do you think you're normal? i'm far from normal. Why in the hell would I want to be normal? Have you ever been used? quite often. Yeah but it’s whatevs. Do you listen to music a lot? of course. All the damn time. Do you celebrate Christmas? yeah, but i want to stop. it's too much hullaballoo. don't care if i spelled that right haha For my family’s benefit. And for the food. And I actually like getting gifts for other people. But the stress, drama, and Jesus bullshit ruins it for me every year. Do you believe you can be in love with someone without knowing them? to some extent, but you can't love them completely. in the same respect though, i don't think you can ever truly know someone one hundred percent. I think there are a lot of things I don’t know about Dave, and I still love him. He’s been around longer than I have so obviously he had an entire life before me. I don’t feel the need to know about that. Have you ever talked in your sleep? no. My mom said I screamed in my sleep once, but I don’t talk. Do you think people have any misconceptions about you? i know they do. I’m often underestimated. Which is fine.  Are you easily amused? very much so. If I’m in the right mood to be. What do you get complimented on the most? titties. Recently, my makeup. Will this weekend be a good one? hopefully. It just ended. And it was alright. Not as good as last weekend. But that’s because I’m here and not in Bradford.

Has anyone said they love you in the last week? yes. No. Do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed. My bedroom door is always closed because the cats aren’t allowed in there. But recently I’ve been sleeping in their room (because I’m a hypocrite) and I have to leave that door open because they come in and out at all hours. Who was the last person you rode in the car with that was under 21? amanda & gary. Allison. Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? yesss. A couple. Have you ever kissed someone under fireworks? no...we never ended up going to the fireworks. Somehow we still keep missing the fireworks lol Could you handle a long distance relationship? i tried and failed. but distance was the least of our issues. Dave and I are long distance 2/3 of the time because of his schedule.

[handfulofmuses]

Bradford vc: wtf man.

[anavoliselenu]

Hiched chapter 8

With a twinge of childish satisfaction, I note that the receptionist is now staring in shock at Brad instead of me. Then I’m filled with shame at my pettiness. This is what Brad reduces me to. One minute in his presence, and I’ve stooped to his level. As if the years since our breakup never happened.

At my derisive noise, Brad pulls his features back into haughty coolness, under the cover of straightening his tie. I remember—all too well—his insecure need to maintain control at all times, even if it’s only the appearance of control.

“You might want to be a lot more careful about how you speak to me, Selena.”

The obvious threat spooks me a little. But I can’t let him know how much his venomous voice still affects me. I force a laugh, knowing that will drive him ape-shit.

“Or what? You’ll bore me to death?”

To my surprise, his smirk doesn’t slip an inch. “Trust me. It’s in your best interests to cooperate with my company.”

Does he actually have something up his sleeve? On the one hand, I don’t want to get drawn into his mind games. On the other . . . my curiosity is piqued.

But before I can decide whether to venture a question, the front door opens and Justin comes in. He stops midstride, looking back and forth between us, obviously sensing something rotten in the air.

“What’s going on here?” he demands.

“Nothing,” Brad replies before I can explain anything, his tone light and his smile polite. “Just talking shop.”

“Oh, really? Is that why I could hear a man yelling all the way from the elevator?”

Brad’s smile instantly drops. “Who are you?” he asks, as if Justin were the one intruding.

“I’m Justin Tate. Selena’s fiancé and co-CEO. Now, who the hell are you?”

I mentally roll my eyes a little at Justin’s lack of subtlety. Especially the way he said fiancé instead of boyfriend. But mostly, I’m just relieved to have some backup, no matter how silly his testosterone-fueled territorial display is.

Brad stares Justin down for a moment, obviously not wanting to roll over and acknowledge his authority too fast. Finally, he replies, “Bradford Daniels. Vice president of Daniels Multimedia Enterprises.”

“And he was just leaving,” I interrupt.

I see a muscle twitch in Brad’s jaw, but he continues talking to Justin as if I never said a word.

“I’ve heard of you, Justin. The late Bill Tate’s son. You two seem to have hooked up right before news of Tate & Cane’s . . . difficulties got out.”

Justin’s next words echo my thoughts. “Are you implying something?”

“Not at all. Just commenting on a stroke of bad luck.” Brad drops his voice to a conspiratorial mutter—although it’s certainly not low enough to stop me from hearing every insult. “In more ways than one. Between you and me, my friend, I don’t envy you. She’s about as exciting as a wet towel in bed.”

Justin’s eyes fly open wide and his face flushes crimson. Instinctively I shy back; I’ve never seen him so angry.

Mistaking his fury for astonishment, Brad continues. “Oh, you haven’t found that out yet? But maybe I shouldn’t be surprised. She’s always been such a frigid—”

In a flash, Justin has Brad pinned to the wall, his arm twisted behind his back. And all I can do is gape, paralyzed with shock.

Chapter Seventeen

Justin

This is the douche who broke Selena’s heart in college? Without thinking, I jump into action, twisting the prick’s arm behind his back and slamming him into the wall.

He lets out a helpless grunt and huffs, “What the hell? Did you not hear who I am?”

“I know exactly who you are. You’re the pencil-dick Selena invested years in, only to discover what a selfish child you really are.”

He tugs against the hold I have on him. Nope, you’re not going anywhere, bud.

“Now apologize to her, with a promise that you’ll never say anything like that again, and I’ll think about letting you go.”

“Like hell,” he growls.

“Rosita,” I call out. She’s passing by with her cart filled with deliveries. “Call security.” She nods once and scurries away. I twist Bradford’s arm tighter, higher up behind his back, then lean in good and close. “I said apologize.”

He blows out a deep sigh, his voice taut with pain. “I’m sorry, all right?”

When Selena turns up her nose, I shake my head at the poor schmuck. “You should know better than to fuck with such a powerful woman.”

Two uniformed security guards appear in an instant. “Remove this asshole from the property,” I tell them.

They flank Bradford and escort him back to the elevator. I brace myself for another insult hurled over his shoulder; there’s no way he’s going down without a fight.

Right on cue, Bradford turns to face us before entering the elevator. “When I own this company, I’ll be the one calling the shots, and neither of you will ever work in this town again,” he shouts, spitting the words like venom.

I straighten my posture and pull Selena in close to my side. “You won’t be coming into my building and insulting my girl like that ever again. Get him out of here before I permanently remove his option of ever having children.”

Moments later, the elevator doors slide closed, and Selena sags against my side in relief.

“Are you okay?” I turn to face her, running my hands in a soothing motion up and down her arms.

She nods once, her lips pulled into a tight line.

I lean down and press my lips to hers, needing to erase that pout.

“He’s gone, baby,” I murmur, stroking her hair.

She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “He’s such a massive A-hole,” she mutters, shaking her head. “What did I ever see in him?”

Her tone drips angry contempt but I can hear the quiver underneath. Brad must have really rattled her. I clench my teeth. Maybe I shouldn’t have let that fucker get away unscathed after all.

“I won’t let him come near you again. That’s a promise.”

She nods. “Thank you, Justin.”

We’re both quiet for a moment, as if neither of us is quite ready to part ways and get back to work. Selena gazes up at me with relief, gratitude . . . and something more? There’s a new light in her eyes. A look she’s never given me before.

“Not that I need you to defend my honor, but . . .” She gives me a small smile. “I’m glad you did.”

Pride and protectiveness swell in my chest. I try to brush it off by joking. “Hey, no problem. His face was begging for a punch anyway.”

She pats me on the chest, and I turn to head down the hall toward my office.

“Justin?”

That one word stops me in my tracks. Her voice is soft, almost shy, yet brimming with emotion. I’ve never heard Selena talk so . . . I don’t know the word. Tenderly? Whatever it is, it floats me up like a boat on a rising tide.

“Yes?” I turn to face her.

Her face is awash in enlightenment as if she’s just been struck by a thought. “I think I’m ready.”

Did I hear her right? I almost don’t dare to hope. “You mean . . . ?”

She nods, biting back the first hint of a grin.

My heart surges. “Then let’s fucking do this.”

She beams at me as if we’re both on the inside of a private joke. And maybe we are.

“Let’s freaking get married,” she says with a giggle.

Chapter Eighteen

Selena

I squint at the clock on my nightstand and suppress a groan. Three in the goddamn morning and I’m still wide awake.

The sheets rustle behind me. “Can’t sleep?” Justin asks. His voice is clear, not groggy at all. Evidently I’m not the only one with insomnia.

Sighing, I shake my head.

“Come here,” he says gently.

I roll over to look at him. Justin is lying on his side, facing me. He holds out his top arm. I hesitate for a moment; I’m still getting used to casual contact with him. But soon I wriggle into his warm embrace, pillowing my head on his bicep.

He pulls me even closer with an arm around my shoulders. I inhale his masculine scent, no less pleasant and exciting for how familiar it’s become, and try not to notice how perfectly I fit nestled in against his side.

“How do you feel?” he asks.

“A little nervous,” I confess.

Justin gives a quiet hum of a chuckle. “I wouldn’t blame you. It’s normal to have a few pre-wedding jitters.”

The word wedding sits oddly in my stomach. Despite all the thought I’ve put into the idea of marriage over the past month, it feels totally different when it’s on the horizon. In less than sixteen hours, I won’t be single anymore. I’ll be someone’s wife.

I’ve always imagined myself getting married someday. But in that fantasy, my father would walk me down a wide church aisle, the pews decorated with peonies, as my elated friends and extended family looked on. My husband would be a man who loved me so deeply that he couldn’t stand to live a single day without me.

But the reality of my life is nothing like that sweet story. Instead, I bear the pressure of a legally binding contract, followed by a long, hard battle to keep Tate & Cane out of enemy hands.

The circumstances definitely leave a lot to be desired. My feelings about the groom himself, though . . . those are way more ambiguous.

Things between us used to be simple. Justin was just a plain old pain in my ass. An acquaintance at best; a rival or a pest at worst. His devil-may-care attitude still infuriates me sometimes. And I hate the way he knows exactly how handsome he is, and shamelessly uses his good looks to get what he wants. Although what I really hate may be the fact that his charm works on me too, whether I like it or not. No matter how hard I try, I’ve never been able to completely bury my huge crush on him.

Lately, though, everything is changing. We’re well on the road to becoming friends now. And seeing him leap to my defense against Brad gave me undeniable butterflies.

Justin has lived up to my challenge and convinced me that a relationship between us is possible. Not right away, and not without effort—this isn’t a fairy tale where we snap our fingers and live happily ever after—but if we keep trying in good faith . . .

I’m even starting to wonder if my feelings for him when I was a teenager weren’t totally unfounded. Maybe my younger self was on to something. Maybe she wasn’t just horny—okay, horniness was definitely a factor, but still. She sensed a passionate, fiercely kind heart beating underneath his playboy facade. I’ve learned that just because Justin doesn’t take everything seriously doesn’t mean he doesn’t take anything seriously. His priorities and strategies are different from mine, not necessarily better or worse.

A dozen different emotions swirl through me, some good, some bad. But even though Justin asked me, I’m reluctant to reveal them all. Because I don’t want to show vulnerability . . . or because I don’t want to hurt his feelings? I’m not sure.

Eventually, unable to decide how to reply, I just murmur into his chest, “It’s still kind of surreal to me, you know?”

“Yeah.” Justin gives me a reassuring squeeze . . . and presses his lips to my forehead.

I blink at his feather-soft kiss. The unexpected tenderness just muddles my feelings more.

Oblivious to my confusion, Justin lies on his back, drawing my arm around his waist. I try to push my distracting, troubling thoughts away and relax into him. I cuddle closer, pushing my head onto his chest and resting my leg over his. He’s so warm, like lying next to a fireplace.

The steady beat of his heart beneath my ear soothes me to sleep.

Chapter Nineteen

Justin

As far as the media’s concerned, a couple of our status should have a wedding with glitz and swagger, but Selena decided she felt most comfortable having our ceremony at her father’s beach house on Nantucket. It’s a purely legal wedding. No fanfare, just a handful of family and close friends. Even the beach house itself is a quaint place, with just two bedrooms, an open-plan kitchen and living space, and a wide porch looking out onto the beach.

That stretch of beach is where we’ll tie the proverbial knot in about an hour. Drinking beer in the kitchen with Sterling, I watch seagulls land on the folding chairs we set up earlier, scaring a few tiny crabs back into their holes.

This whole affair is the polar opposite of what Camryn told me about Selena’s scrapbook wedding. And I don’t know how to feel about that. Did Selena just want to keep things convenient and cheap? She is the practical type, and she’s been tearing her hair out over Tate & Cane’s expenses recently.

Or is she trying to preserve her romantic dream by keeping her reality as far away from it as possible? I’m not sure I like that idea, considering I’m part of her reality . . .

“Another beer?” Sterling asks.

“I better not.” I glance at the clock hanging on the kitchen wall. “Fifty-eight minutes till I say I do.”

My best man smirks. “You think she’s actually going to go through with it?”

“You don’t?”

He shrugs. “She locked herself in her room two hours ago and hasn’t been out since. I offered her breakfast this morning, and she said she was too uneasy to eat. I don’t know, mate. It’s entirely possible that she’ll back out.”

“The contract’s all drawn up. We’ll sign it on Monday when we’re back at the office. Why back out now? Selena’s a woman of her word. She’s dependable like that.”

He lets out a grunt of disapproval.

“What’s the big deal? You took a fake date to prom,” I remind him.

I chuckle to myself, remembering the year Sterling took his cousin to the dance. He thought it was genius at the time—no corsage to buy, no need to impress her with a fancy restaurant or limo ride. Until the end of the night, when all the rest of us were enjoying some skin-to-skin contact with our dates, and he realized what a horrible decision he’d made. The only skin-to-skin action he got was with his hand.

“A fake wife is a hell of a lot different. It’s a big fucking deal.” Sterling glares at me over the rim of his beer.

Looking out over the ocean from our spot on the porch of the beach cottage, I loosen my tie, which has grown too tight around my neck, and level him with a dark stare.

“Actually, it’s legally binding, so she’ll be my real wife. Until we got divorced, or got the marriage annulled or whatever.”

I clear my throat, my unease growing. “Oh, one more thing.”

After Selena’s father presented the contract to us this morning over breakfast, I took a copy with me out to the porch while Selena retreated to the bedroom. I didn’t view it as a bad sign, just that we were both taking this seriously and needed a moment to absorb it.

With a cup of coffee, I read the contract in full detail. Page fourteen, section twenty-eight, part B stated that the fulfillment of our contractual obligations as new owners of the multi-billion-dollar conglomerate was also contingent on Selena getting pregnant. Within ninety days.

I stormed inside to talk to Fred immediately.

“An heir clause? Is this your sick way of ensuring the family name carries on? You actually expect me to knock her up?”

“It’s part of your father’s will, Justin. Bill and I both wanted a grandchild before we died. Surely you can understand that.”

“And what has Selena said about that?” I asked him.

He made a noncommittal noise in his throat. “We haven’t discussed it yet.”

That was this morning. And I’m pretty sure that’s the reason Selena locked herself inside her bedroom and hasn’t been seen since.

Taking a deep sigh, I watch my best man carefully as I drop my news. “I need to knock her up.”

Sterling spits out his drink.

“There’s an heir clause in the contract,” I say dryly.

Wiping beer from his lips, he narrows his eyes on mine. “You’re telling me you need to impregnate her?”

“Uh-huh.”

The fucker actually laughs at me, then takes another sip of his beer. “If I know the first thing about Selena, it’s that she’s not going to want your bun in her oven.”

“O, ye of little faith.” I smirk at him.

“Has she even touched your cock yet?”

Aside from grabbing it through my slacks once at the restaurant, no. But that doesn’t mean anything. We’re building on something good here. It’s only a matter of time.

“Don’t be an ass.”

I stand up and cross the porch to the railing, leaning on it as I look out on the endless pool of blue lapping at the shoreline. I may be putting on a cool and unaffected front about all of this, but in fact, I’ve been losing my shit ever since I learned about the clause in the contract this morning. I can only imagine how Selena feels. I don’t even know if she wants to be a mother. Probably not, seeing as she eats, sleeps, and breathes her career.

“You’re good, buddy, I’ll give you that, but even you won’t be able to pull this one off.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Watching the water is hypnotic. It makes me feel slightly calmer. But only slightly. I’d probably need horse tranquilizers to get anywhere close to a normal heart rate.

“And what about you? The reigning party animal is seriously going to have a baby?”

I turn back to face Sterling. He’s kicked back in a weather-beaten rocker on the porch, one leg hooked over the arm of it. With no good answer for him, I just give him a cocky wink.

“I’ll figure it out.” I hope.

His mouth drops open for a second. Then he throws up his hands in a dramatic shrug. “It’s your life, mate.”

“I’ll take my chances. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to check on my bride.”

I knock on the closed door of the bedroom Selena set up in and hear the two feminine voices inside hush.

“Yes?” Camryn opens the door just a crack.

“Can I have a minute with Selena?” I ask.

Camryn’s brow furrows. “It’s bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony.”

“It’s okay,” Selena says from inside.

“Fine. You can talk with her for five minutes.” Camryn glancing at her watch and then skirts around me into the hall.

When I push open the door, I find Selena seated at a vanity, and our reflections meet in the mirror. Her eyes are rimmed in red, and I wonder if she’s been crying.

Guilt stabs at my chest and I suddenly feel short of breath. “Are you okay?”

I can’t believe how much my relationship with Selena has grown, how real my feelings have become. The thought of her so upset feels like a physical shove.

She nods. “I think so. Today’s been strangely emotional. All these things I haven’t thought about in a while, like my mom not being here, my dad’s health . . . it all hit me this morning.”

“Come here.”

I pull her to her feet and into my arms. As I bring her close to my chest, her hands settle on my back. I hold her for several minutes, neither of us speaking. When I let her go, Selena looks more composed. I wonder how she feels about the heir clause—wonder if she’s on board, indifferent, or terrified. I’m guessing the latter.

“I’m okay. I promise.” She gives me a small smile.

“You look beautiful,” I tell her, meaning every word.

She looks down at her simple cream-colored sundress with lace trimming the bust, and smooths it over her hips. “Thank you.” Her honey-colored hair flows in loose waves over her shoulders, and her makeup is light and natural. She looks like the perfect casual beach bride, fit to grace the cover of one of those bridal magazines.

“Are you sure you aren’t going to regret this?” I ask, the moment taking a turn for the serious. I probably won’t love her answer, but I still want to know her honest feelings.

She shakes her head. “All I’ve ever wanted is to run this company. My dad’s been grooming me for this moment for fifteen years.”

I nod, understanding perfectly. We’re in the same position.

“And if I have to do it with you by my side, so be it.”

Selena thrusts her chin up in the air, and I’m again struck by guilt. She’s putting on a brave front, but I need to know she’s okay. Otherwise, I’m not sure I can go through with this.

“I need to know if you’re really okay doing things this way. Doesn’t every girl dream about a white dress and a big party under a tent?” I know for a fact that Selena does. But I don’t mention that; she may not have wanted Camryn to tell me something so personal.

She gives me a sympathetic look. “We’ll make it work.”

“It might not be the wedding you envisioned, but I want you to know that it is to me. I really would take care of you if anything bad happened. I know what we have isn’t love, and that you deserve to be loved and cherished by your husband, but I need you to know I’ll always step up and be there for you. So in that sense, my vows will all be true.”

She swallows, and I wonder if there’s a lump stuck in her throat like there is in mine. That thought eases some of my guilt the smallest bit.

“Thank you for that. I know you’ll be there for me when it matters,” she says, her tone soft.

“Damn straight, I will.”

“Thanks, Justin.” She smiles at me.

I pull the creased contract from the inside pocket of my jacket. “I went ahead and signed this. So, whenever you’re ready.” I hand her the contract, and she sets it down on her vanity table.

“Thank you.”

I lift her hand to my mouth and kiss it. “See you out there.”

She nods. “I’ll just be a few more minutes.”

“Okay. I’ll send Camryn back in.”

As I head out into the hall, I’m struck by the feeling that maybe, just maybe, Sterling is wrong, and all of this will unfold naturally between me and Selena.

Call me crazy, but hell, it may just work.

Chapter Twenty

Selena

I’m at my family’s summer cottage on Nantucket Island, motionless while Camryn puts the finishing touches on my eye makeup. This bedroom is still decorated according to my tastes in my high school days—which apparently involved a lot of tie-dye, mandala posters, and framed rain forest photos. Heh . . . I’d forgotten I had a hippie phase. At its small whitewashed desk, where I sit now, I did my summer homework and wrote in my diary.

Thank God for Camryn. She drove over early to lend a hand before the ceremony. As far as primping goes, I didn’t really need her help. I’m not doing anything special with my hair or makeup. My only concession to the special occasion is a cream-colored dress, and even that is pretty plain: just a knee-length wrap with a little lace at the bust. I look more like the mother of a bride than the bride herself. What I did need—desperately—was my best friend’s moral support. Her calm, matter-of-fact presence soothes my frazzled nerves.

I don’t even know why I’m wound so tight. Our “wedding” is just Justin and me meeting with a justice of the peace to sign the paperwork, while Dad and a few other family members and close friends stand by. No tuxedo and gown, no vows, no reception party. As short and simple as humanly possible. This marriage isn’t even real . . . and yet I have a textbook case of cold feet.

“And boom,” Camryn announces proudly. “Eyes are all done. Take a look.”

I open my eyes and blink at myself in the mirror. Wow, I look . . . hot. My usual makeup style is pretty minimalistic, since I rarely go anywhere besides the office, but Camryn has given me a subtle smokiness that’s sensual while still being demure enough for a daytime event.

“This looks great. Thank you.”

“Am I good or what?” Camryn grins. “Do you want anything to eat? Now’s your last chance before I do your lips.”

The kitchen counters and breakfast bar are piled with casseroles and salads and finger sandwiches from the catering company Dad hired. I told him I didn’t want a reception with a fancy meal afterward. But he insisted that our guests, as few as they are, still need to eat before heading back home. So this was our compromise, self-serve casual fare on paper plates.

I shake my head. “No, thanks. My stomach is flip-flopping like crazy.”

“That bad?” Camryn asks, her tone rising in sympathy.

I let out a deep sigh. “Honestly? I’m not sure how I feel.”

I really do believe that Justin and I can work as a couple. But I’m still on the verge of panic. Marriage is such a huge commitment. Thinking about taking that step—oh God, and in less than an hour too—makes me break out in a cold sweat.

If Camryn hadn’t been here to steady my nerves, I might have seriously considered bolting. Especially when Dad handed over a copy of the contract at breakfast—all looming and official with its sixteen numbered pages. I still haven’t been able to bring myself to look at it. But I already know what it says, anyway. What’s the point of stressing myself out even more? I’ll just sign it when the time comes, quick and easy, like ripping off a bandage.

“Poor thing.” Camryn sighs. “Let me get you a drink. You need a little something to take the edge off.”

She bustles out of the bedroom to visit the kitchen and comes back with two glasses of merlot. My best friend knows me well enough to forgo the bottle of chilled champagne nestled in its ice bucket on the kitchen counter. Champagne is much too celebratory for the mood I’m in.

I accept the pleasantly chilled glass and take a deep swig. The small dose of alcohol subtly warms and loosens my muscles, and I let out a quiet sigh. She was right; I did need this.

“I really think this will be okay,” Camryn says. “From what I’ve seen, it seems like Justin’s been pretty sweet and attentive toward you.”

“Yeah, I do think he’s really trying.” I take another sip of my wine. “Even if his ultimate goal is just to get into my pants.”

“And that would be the worst thing in the world, why?” She raises her eyebrows at me with a devilish grin. She’s continuously griping about the state of my nonexistent love life.

I snort, smiling back despite myself. “I have about as much interest in riding his knob as I do in jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge.”

Except when the jerk does something sexy and all the blood in my brain suddenly flies south for the winter. Which seems to be happening more and more often lately.

“Ladies . . .” Sterling pokes his head around the door frame, smirking like he heard every word. “Knob riding will commence after dinner.” Then he tips his chin toward us and leaves.

Fuck. The last thing I need is Justin thinking that tonight will feature any wedding-night hanky-panky. Frustrated, I growl and slam my eyes closed.

“We need something stronger than wine.” Camryn charges back into the kitchen before I can stop her. I can hear clattering as she searches through cabinets. Soon she returns, holding out a bottle of vodka. “Here we go.”

“No, that’s okay.” I wave her off. “I don’t really want to get too tipsy right now.”

She sets down the vodka on the desk. “Good point. We should wait until after the ceremony.”

“Actually . . .” I sigh. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I’ll be in the mood to socialize tonight. I need some time alone to figure stuff out.” Or bury my head in work like an ostrich and avoid my situation entirely. “Thank you for coming all the way out here.”

She nods. “Of course I came, Selena. I can head back to the city early, no problem. It’s a long trip back anyway.” Her gaze wanders over toward the deck where Justin and Sterling sit with their backs to us, looking out over the beach. “Then again, Sterling’s pretty fucking hot. I could probably busy myself with him tonight.” She grins wickedly.

“Knock yourself out,” I say with a shrug. Someone around here should have fun, after all. “In fact, go ahead and get him now. I can do my lipstick by myself.”

We share one last reassuring hug before she leaves me alone in my childhood bedroom, taking her drink with her.

I push up the window and inhale the saltiness of the humid ocean breeze. The afternoon is warm, and mist rises from the blue harbor. For a minute, I watch a handful of distant sailboats, dim white dots bobbing on the horizon. I try not to obsess about the ceremony that will be starting in just half an hour. Letting the peaceful view fill my mind, I feel my tension start to melt away.

But the blessed silence shatters when my phone rings. Grumbling, wondering who the hell would call me right now, I dig it out of my purse.

I frown at the screen. Since I don’t know this number off the top of my head, I answer with a brisk, “Hello?”

“Good afternoon, Selena.”

My stomach contracts into a tight, painful ball. That voice . . . For a moment I can’t speak.

“You really should check your e-mail more often,” Brad says.

Chapter Twenty-One

Justin

I’ve been standing on the beach for fifty minutes. Beads of sweat dot my forehead, but they’re not from the sun. That set ten minutes ago.

“Where is she?” Sterling hisses under his breath.

“She’ll be here,” I say through gritted teeth, checking my watch yet again.

After everything we’ve built . . . living together, working together . . . it all feels so fragile and pointless if Selena doesn’t follow through today.

Guests are starting to look at each other, and hushed whispers rustle through the small crowd.

The officiant shifts her weight, looking as uncomfortable as I feel. Then she leans in toward me. “I’m terribly sorry, but I have an appointment in twenty minutes. I can’t wait much longer.”

I nod and look to Fred. His features are twisted with worry. When he tips his chin toward Camryn, she scurries off toward the house. I take off after her, stepping into the footprints she leaves in the sand.

We head straight for the bedroom. The house is dim, and the feeling that something fundamental has changed rips through me. The door is still shut, and I’m afraid of what we’ll find when she opens it. Afraid of what it will mean.

Finally, Camryn opens the door. Everything is quiet for a minute.

“She’s gone,” she says, her voice shaky.

I swallow down a wave of emotion and look around the room. Selena’s makeup and toiletries are still scattered on the vanity, but she’s not in the room.

I stare out the window at the sun setting over the ocean, and let out a heavy sigh. “She’s gone.”

What in the hell could have possibly happened since I last saw her? She was ready. Everything seemed fine. I notice the contract is no longer sitting on the vanity table. She’s taken it with her. I’m not sure what that means.

I turn to face Camryn. “What happened? You were the last person to see her. Was it nerves?”

Camryn shakes her head. “She seemed fine.”

I push my hands into my hair. I don’t fucking like surprises, and I’ve never been stood up before. But getting left at the altar? This is beyond any anger and panic I’ve ever felt.

I want to go out drinking and find some random girl so I can fuck out my aggression. And I know Sterling would be game. But then I think of Selena’s shy smile and her sweet honeysuckle scent and the way her lips part when I kiss her . . . silently begging me for more.

“Fuck this,” Sterling says from behind me. “We’re leaving. Come on, Justin.”

His hand closes around my arm and starts tugging me down the hall. I know he has the exact same thought I did about thirty seconds ago. Booze. Girls. Massive hangover tomorrow to mask the pain of today. But I know nothing could blot out this memory.

If it weren’t for this ache in my chest—this empty spot she’d begun to fill—I’d leave and never look back. But part of me needs to know the next chapter in our story.

I’ve fantasized about Selena for the last twenty years. She’s the girl I squirted with the water hose when I was young, the woman who gave me butterflies in my stomach when I was older.

And now, just as I’ve started to think of her as mine . . . she’s gone.

[handfulofmuses]

Sometimes I want to write a huge analysis on Mikey's and Bradford's dynamic

But all I can write is

"they are soooooooo silly"

This dog found the controls and then just pushed EVERY SINGLE BUTTON on it and then absolutely had it out for Mikey and Mikey just repeatingly slams him against that wall and then runs and the dog chases after him

He always has to go after Mikey, that's his nemesis he called dibs only he gets to end him

[handfulofmuses]

They both were like "this is my nemesis now, only i get to end this one" and then fought Raph and Mikey each time they saw each other

[handfulofmuses]

they are so silly (affectionate)

[handfulofmuses]

Never meet your heroes.

Mikey idolized Chris Bradford a lot. He was so excited to be friends with him and Bradford used that to his advantage. When everything is over, he just stares at his online page. It takes talking with Raph to get him in better spirits but he also never really moved on from what happened. He keeps a Chris Bradford cardboard cutout in his room, keeps watching his tv show - it feels like he is still trying to connect with him in that way.