#;;headcanon | {eric chapman}

[yonderghostshistories]

Funny Monty Python crack headcannon:

All the Monty Python members are actually chaotic undiagnosed neurodivergents

[eric-the-bmo]

I'm going to talk about my WoD headcanons, except I only know two of the games and I don't know them well, so some of these might clash with canon:

VtM:

[note: I'm excluding headcanons that would be considered spoilers for my vtm character, since my fellow players follow me on here]

Vampire bites tend to have a similar effect and feel to anesthetic and other numbing agents.

The pleasant feeling from the bite can sometimes be unique to a Kindred.

A Malkavian's Bane manifests during a moment known as the Shattering. It can exemplify existing traits [ex: anxiety to Paranoia], or the new Malk can simply inherit their sire's specific bane. However, if anything extreme happens in the short few moments before, during, or after their Embrace, it can cause an entirely unique bane to manifest as a result of the extreme circumstances.

While shooting a vampire in the skull won't ensure the Kindred's death, it will result in slight memory loss upon regeneration- the severity of the memory loss depends on how much of the vampire's brain got destroyed (memories are all based off synapses and neurons, after all).

Excessive use of Dominate (specifically memory erasure) on a mortal can increase the chances of dementia and, in extreme cases, cause its early onset.

When feeding, the blood from a Kindred's victim goes into both the stomach and veins of the vampire- they don't really have their own blood, you see, and it needs to go somewhere. (Blood from the stomach eventually travels to the veins)

Vampires who have not fed in a while might be a bit colder than normal, with possible numbness in their hands and feet (although that's a sign of eventual torpor). On the opposite spectrum, vampires who have recently fed will, for a short while, have a bit more of a blush to them with all the new blood in their veins; however, it's not as convincing as using the Blush of Life and cannot pass as such (doesn't cause a heartbeat, for instance), and goes away after a few minutes.

CtD:

Glamour has the same iridescence as an oil spill.

Dr Chapman is fond of collecting butterflies and moths, and has a wall of them in his office. [Somehow, this is extremely unnerving for most of his patients.]

A more light-hearted one: Dr Chapman likes peanuts. I don't really know where this hc came from.

Both Dauntain and Autumn People have a lower body temperature than most mortals; combined with their Banality presence, it's not uncommon for some Kithain to think they're in the company of a vampire at first.

Nockers have an intricate series of knocks they can use to communicate to each other across tunnels, however this can also be used in simpler scenarios, like knocking on a door or table to communicate a message to someone right next to them without others knowing).

Bedlam results in slight leaks of the fae mien into the human disguise, though they're barely perceptible (ex: teeth that are just a tad sharper, small flecks of odd colors in the eyes, ears almost being pointed, etc).

A common sign of Bedlam is a bit of an iridescent shine/film on the eye, to show the buildup of too much Glamour within the fae and represent them not being able to clearly see reality; This trait is mostly only noticed by other Kithain, but becomes visible to humans in the later stages.

[littleacebee]

I am a firm “Eric Chapman is not blond” believer, however there is one way I could accept blond Chapman - if he dyes his hair blond. And this headcanon is irreversibly connected with THE Eric scene: “you look devastated” “Of course we do, it’s a funeral”. Imagine Eric looking like wet cat runs to the graveyard and has visible darker roots because he didn’t have how to dye them and that scene happens. Oh, it’s amazing image.

[right-stopthat-its-silly]

Rank every Graham Chapman character in Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life" out of 10 based on their smashability and give reasons why please?

Hey alright, here we go! (I'll try to get the right movie this time lol)

Chairman - oh my gawd yes yes yes 10000/100 I LOVE this look. what a GIRL. BOSS.

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Fish No. 1 - 10/10 this is literally a fish (would not smash wtf, it's fish)

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Doctor - 1000000/10 my unhinged headcanon is the universe nerfed Graham to be in Python and not a doctor because the world wasn't ready for this lol

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Harry Blackitt - 8/10 I can't give full marks, I'm not sure why, I just can't. He is definitely one of the Python characters of all time!

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Wymer - 1000/10 wahha yes schoolboy Graham (bonus Jonsey!) they are cute 🥺

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Hordern - pretty great, he's giving George MacKay in 1917 imo 100/10

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General - 100000/10 not The Colonel, but he'll do

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Cole - He has a book he would quite like to read, 100/10, we stan literate Graham!1!11!! (sorry for the single-pixel photos)

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Dr. Livingstone - MUTTON CHOP GRAHAM I REPEAT MUTTON CHOP GRAHAM WHAT IS THIS WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH I CAN'T DECIDE IF I ADORE OR DESPISE IT OR BOTH!?! !!?!?!?!/10

This is actually very adorable, 10000/10 (also bonus babygirl in pic 2)

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Bruh - no words (10000000/10)

why this man is an icon.

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Eric - ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000.../10

maybe he's a heathen, maybe he's born with it, maybe it's Maybelline

sorry i am down bad what can i say (please slice me up eric!)

this is the best he has ever looked on camera and I stan by it

also bonus terry g. in pic 2

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Guest No. 1 - 100000/10 the 2nd pic is literally mfw Mr. Creosote (i like this suit very snazzy)

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Arthur Jarrett - crazed man about to die, 8/10 I guess?

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Geoffrey - haha funny family man tries to shoot death and fails miserably (A for effort) 10000/10

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Tony Bennett-esque Singer - its xmas in heaven, what can I say, 10000/10

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Also, here is rugby dude who is definitely Grey but is not listed as an official character on the film's wiki page! (10000000/10)

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Sorry it’s a wash every time I rank Graham but this is the home of the #1 ✨🪖The Colonel🪖✨ stan so you get what you ask for I guess (thanks for the asks btw)

okay i'm wrapping it up now, thanks to those who stuck around for the entire post!

[squeeneypod]

at some point i must inflict my aro eric chapman headcanon on unwilling Tumblr users because im right

[dumbbuttass]

I feel like Chapman ABSOLUTELY uses this specific toothpaste exclusively. It's $100 a tube.

[rabbitmotifs]

we have to talk about american chapman again

[poorlittleminkmink]

okay now I have to hear about your blondmementos hcs

I’ll happily share my blondmementos hcs with you

Blondmementos hcs:

Antigone likes to read over Eric’s shoulder, just any time she can, she will

Chapman can and will pick up Antigone whenever occassion allows

They listen to music together a lot and sit in comfortable quiet

Chapman prefers to lay his head in Antigone’s lap rather than the other way around

Where Antigone uses older terms of endearment “dear” “darling” “my love”, Chapman uses nicknames and newer terms such as “Tig” “Tiggie” “lovey” “babe/baby”

Antigone is quiet with her affection

She likes to sit by Chapman quietly, lean on him occasionally, or just be in the same room as him

He’s a bit more open with his affection

He likes hugs and holding hands and praising her and giving her kisses

Antigone will recite to him when she’s bored

I think Pruning Sheers by The Amazing Devil fits them well

[michillangelo]

Been listening to Wooden Overcoats & sketched out some character designs before I look through the tag - Georgie is, predictably, my favorite

[dont-offend-the-bees]

I would like to propose my own ‘Rudyard finds something he enjoys doing in life’ idea based upon two canon facts:

1: He’s surprisingly good with kids (not in a he can be trusted to look after them way, just in a he doesn’t talk down to them and his weirdness kinda vibes with them way and they love his morbid stories)

2: He’s good at building furniture for mice.

Based upon these traits, I would like to propose that when Antigone decides to take her skills to Chapman’s state of the art mortuary and Rudyard finally accepts that he doesn’t like being in the funeral business anyway, he and Georgie gut the old Funn Funerals and turn it into Piffling’s quirkiest (and only) traditional toy shop where Rudyard makes the merchandise himself. A version of the old funeral home still exists in miniature form in the window and stays there year round; complete with mini Antigone in the mortuary, mini Georgie by the desk, and life-sized Madeleine happily living and writing her third sequel in the much more appropriately mouse-sized old armchair. The tiny coffins displayed tastefully in the tiny windows are a splash of artistic embellishment, but Rudyard thinks that’s alright just this once; they’re the last coffins he’ll ever make, after all.

[peri-hellion]

*kicks down a wall like the Kool-Aid man* did you ever think about Eric Chapman as a member of the Lukas family and a failed avatar of the Lonely? Because I sure as hell have.

Fic is here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22991215

[walkingshcdow-a]

((Not really a headcanon, but I ran Rudyard and Henry through the “Which Shakespeare Character Are You” mega uquiz and I’m LIVING For the drags.

Rudyard: Edmund, King Lear Henry: Jacques, As You Like It

Fucking drama queens. It’s so right, but it’s such a massive drag that I imagine they’ll both have rug burn for weeks.

Meanwhile, Eric Chapman somehow snagged Beatrice from Much Ado About Nothing and I am... flabbergasted but enjoying that thought immensely.))

[yoshimickster]

I know he's not, but I still like to headcanon Eric Chapman as an unaware psychic vampire.

People instinctively love him, it always seems nice whenever he's around, because he's psychically LATCHED himself onto the minds of Piffling Vale.

His powers waning clearly in season 3, as when he tried to take on counseling he got an excess of negative energy, when he's clearly a positive energy vampire.

That's not to say he's a villain mind you, as he clearly creates as much positivity as he does absorb it, but it DID lead him to creating a super complex in Piffling Vale, which almost ruined one business, and canonically ruined another.

Sure he'll say "Its in the spirit of competition" but lets be real, any time you here a big successful business say that, don't you want to STAB them?

[rhymingteelookatme]

Chapmigone Baby Headcanons

As written by group consensus in the corner of this fandom I frequent- below the cut.

-If Antigone’s having any child, she’s having twins. This is fate.

-Neither twin can be a namesake, for the simple reason that almost the entire island wants one. It’s too much. Plus, Antigone would be quite firm that her children are themselves and no one else. Though she might consider letting one child’s middle name be Rudyard. Or Brett. She lets her brother and her husband think she might, anyway. Whether she actually does, whomst can say- not me. That’s between her, the hospital and god.  

-Rudyard initially suggests ‘Baby 1′ and ‘Baby B’ for efficiency- but then he starts begging Antigone for a Rudyard Jr. if she has a boy. A: “Rudyard, do you hear yourself? A child of Chapman’s named after you?” Rudyard: “I think you’ll find he’s a child of yours, and therefore categorically a Funn. Besides, I’m archiving the birth certificates; I can make sure of the surname.”  Antigone: “You’re making sure of nothing. If I have my way you won’t even know the surname.”

-Eric is game for anything Antigone wants vis-a-vis names, with the sole exception of Clarissa. Actually, he does have one suggestion, which is that a girl child be called Clementine. Antigone recognizes the sentiment behind this and agrees on the spot.

-When her labor pains begin (on Halloween, no less), Antigone retreats to her mortuary and will not be coaxed out for anything. She’s got a cot in the corner! She’s fine! There’s only a little bit of cobweb on it! 

-Despite having delivered “loads of babies” in the fabled Long Time Ago, Chapman is less than composed when it’s Antigone having the babies. He nearly faints a couple of times, but he stays with her and holds her hand the whole way through. However, he’s in no fit state to properly help.

-Dr. Barnet can’t attend, much too busy.* Dr. Edgware, despite it being his day off, must be called. He is...somewhat resentful. (Antigone, muttering: “Now he gets busy down there.” Rudyard, scandalized: “Antigone!!”)

*With another birthing mother- Tanya. It’s a son. He’s called Jerry.

-Georgie is great at midwifery, of course. She assists without hesitation.

-Rudyard, despite his typical complaining, remains nearby throughout (in his usual suit; one must make an effort). He holds Antigone’s other hand during the worst of the labor. She crushes it to near uselessness but he doesn’t care. 

-Antigone has a breakdown at one point in the whole ordeal, terrified about being a mother- she’s convinced she’ll be awful. Rudyard insists she won’t. “You’ll listen to them. And remember things, and care. Not like our parents... or me.”

-The newborn twins have their mother’s dark hair and Eric’s blue eyes. Rudyard, upon seeing them, falls instantly in love. He brushes off the eye color (“lots of babies have blue eyes, it’s nothing to get excited about, Chapman”). As far as he’s concerned they’re Funns through and through. 

-Rudyard has the vague sense that he should let the parents be alone with their babies but both Eric and Antigone insist that he stay. They’re exhausted and exhilarated, and they want Uncle Rudyard to properly meet his new niece and nephew.

-The girl twin is Clementine all right. The boy twin is Mortimer. It’s called syllabic symmetry and it’s glorious.

-Everyone in Piffling comes around at one time or another for weeks after the birth with gifts and congratulations. Flowers from Petunia, sweets from Agatha, toy bicycles from the Mayor and Wavering, baby’s first embalming kit from Scout Leader Calliope (who acts as a sort of big sister)- the list goes on.

-The birth announcement is on page 2 rather than the front page, because Antigone is still attention-shy. Sid doesn’t understand that the babies are twins, as they’re boy and girl rather than two of one or the other. He thinks they’re just siblings coincidentally born the same day.

-On their christening day, the weather is simultaneous bright sunshine and torrential rain. Georgie and Rudyard are the godparents. The Reverend is chaotic as usual at the event, but Rudyard is somehow worse. (S4 holiday special: Rudyard Ruins the Christening) Wavering: “Will you pray for them, draw them by your example into the community of faith, and walk with them in the way of Christ? ...if He exists?” Georgie: “Er...” Rudyard: “We’re not really religious..” Wavering (quickly): “Oh you don’t have to! It’s just part of the ceremony.” etc.

-Chapman changes nappies and deals with spitup etc. unquestioningly. He also procures a double baby sling with his usual incredible speed. He’s a deeply proud father; he walks around with the pair of them at every opportunity.

-Rudyard proceeds to be the most beloved and doting uncle the island has ever seen. Georgie catches him at least once cooing to the babies: “You’re going to be the best on the island, aren’t you? You came just to get revenge at long last for Uncle Rudyard, didn’t you. To do what neither your mother nor I ever could. You’re cosmic justice, yes you are!...” All is recorded on Georgie’s phone to share with Jennifer later. 

Damn near every wall of Funn Funerals is papered with the babies’ drawings when they’re old enough to draw. He calls it special archiving. He teaches them the importance of proper schedules, and how to play the mandolin, and so on and so forth. And he makes sure they each have a tiny black suit to be worn at funerals. Yes, even as infants. 

-Lady Templar invites the twins to tea. Not their parents, just the babies. She wants to teach them aristocratic manners and so on. And to piss off Chapman. The first thing the kids do is spit up on her fur stole; Rudyard is so proud.

When they’re old enough to start teething Lady T also sends them teething rings with 'Girlboss’ printed on the center disc. Yes, both of them. 

[petrosapian]

3, 13, 17, 23, 27

i think it would be just funny if i did like. chapyard instead of knowing by telepathic link this is for chapgone. anyways here are my headcanons for antware

3. Do they wear the other’s clothes? (sweatshirt, bandana, necklace, etc.)

Well we all know Chapman is a blazer and will offer his blazer at any hint of a draft and by jove is Antigone going to take it. She's also taken to sometimes wearing his shirts, she now has need for a casual cover up Eric could wear her underwear, probably wouldn't fit

13. Who’s the bigger tease?

Okay so like obviously Chapman get his little mischievous streak, and she's easy to tease but he's also a little obtuse of exactly what effect he has on her but when Antigone is teasing she knows exactly how to trip him up every part of the way. Chapman teasing is like haha I'm gonna beat you in funeral business . Antigone teasing is like. Show's a little bit of leg with some bedroom eyes.

17. Who’s more likely to pull the other in by the waist and kiss them passionately?

I think you could easily make a case for either of them really. Overall I would say by the end of season 4 Antigone. Kiss me you fool.

23. Who’s more likely to convince the other to stay in bed come morning?

Hmm both strike me as earlier risers even though Antigone is a night owl. Chapman has more reason to stay in bed with Antigone there though, he would be someone to pull her in and keep her there if she tried wake up. He hasn't slept so good in years he's trying to keep up.

27. Who is the light weight that needs to be taken care of after a party?

Antigone. Chapman has been known to have a bit too few and get real soppy but if they're both drinking that night Antigone is the one getting carried home. Drunk Chapman looking after a Drunk Antigone, she gets a few sober spots where she's like wait no I look after YOU.

[dumbbuttass]

This is the closest I've come to finding a picture that makes me think "yes, that's Chapman."

It's almost perfect for Chapman, but I feel like it's off in some way I can't quite place.

EDIT: he's not smiling, that's what feels off.