#;; me: I'll answer this in the morning
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
find another role, carry on the show
#EDIT IT DIDNT SAVE MY TAGS. hey so this post got a thousand notes huh. interesting. surely nothing will change#i'll leave all the old tags. for my thought process. and its kinda funny#take a bow stupid idiot (throws a tomato at them)#in stars and time#isat#siffrin#siffrin no middle names no last name ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧#... or is it. Smiles#i'd like to draw mira for her birthday but um (hasnt open artfight website in a few days) im scared.#also i have NICE ASKS TO ANSWER.... But im scared. give me a minute#Uawaaaaagh i drew this bc i was trying to animate a little bit but it just . Didnt look good. im not good ag 2d animation#tch. ill keep trying cause there ar e way too many songs that and now about isat because i have brain worms. i need amvs.#IM SCARED TO POST THINGS THAT ARE SPOILERY BECAUSE I WANT MY FRIENDS TO PLAY ISAT. BUT.#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sasasap#sasasa:p#WHAT IS THE PROLOGUES TAG.#tshirt that says 'i <3 killing the image in the mirror and taking its place' on the fromt#and a list of megan thee stallions tour dates on the back. お金稼ぐ俺らはスター#Im kind of tempted to edit this to be the versiom with the eyes. or maybe twt can have that. or. well#all of my friends are on twt (trombone slide sfx) so maybe thats where i should worry about spoilers.#ill see if i want to slap an eyepatch on them in the morning#Im one of those people who was like idgaf about twohats (lets it simmer for a week) Oh my god. Oh my god. Ohmy god#EDIT. i swapped it out for the Eyes version it should be fine as long as its tagged formspoilers right...#ill post eyepatch vers on twt partly bc spoilers but also ppl over there can be .. annoying ..... ....#i fear i would get 800 You Forgot The Eyepatch replies. PLEASE JUST SEE MY VISION.#[BANGING MY HANDS ON THE GLASS] HIS HAND. LIKE IN THE PROLOGUE. WHEN THEYE. HANDS. HELD[EXPLOSION
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
I’m literally drooling over the thought of sensitive Bucky whimpering and whining while fucking your tits and thighs he’s so pathetic and needy all he wants is to make you feel good and to fill you with his cum even if it overstimulates him
Okay, tit fucking is great and all but thigh fucking is SO underrated in my humble opinion. Could just be the fact I've got a small chest though lmao
It's so fun when you're already really into it and the insides of your thighs are all slick. I feel like Bucky would lose it, getting to see your face and look in your eyes and enjoy your body.
It's a nice one to do while laid on your side, facing each other. Although the angle isn't quite right for him to slip inside you, it's fun to explore the other ways your bodies can steal pleasure from one another.
"This isn't going to work, sweetheart." You can't help but laugh, having already tried everything you can think of to make the height difference work. There's no way to keep this romantic and intimate in that position because there's just no chance of aligning your bodies properly to allow him to press inside you.
"Maybe not. But it feels nice anyway." His eyes flutter shut, gliding his dick over the smooth, soft, warm insides of your thighs, encouraged by how slick and easy your arousal makes the movement.
You adjust yourself to bring your other thigh on top of his length, closing him in on both sides.
You're wet enough that friction doesn't impede his movement too much and there's something oddly romantic about it. Maybe it's his hand smoothing the back of your head or his other hand up your back, pulling your body closer to his.
It's so intimate, watching his face as he whines your name, rutting senselessly against your thighs. The little flush to his cheeks is beautiful and you can't resist kissing the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead. The thick duvet on top of you both, coupled with your combined body heat means the room is far hotter than you'd planned.
You take a second to reach between your bodies, spreading your wet folds and readjusting his length, letting him drag his cock against your neglected clit with each stroke and oh, that's pretty mind-blowing.
"O-oh my God." He whines, desperately fucking himself against your wet cunt, rather than into it. It's a different kind of pleasure to being inside you and while they're not comparable sensations, it doesn't stop this from feeling fantastic.
"Fuck, that's good." You groan, rolling your hips to meet his. Your fingers dip between you once more, gathering some of your slick arousal, using it to glide your fingertips over the underside of his shaft and over his balls.
"Holy shit, that's - fuck." Bucky's hardly got a coherent thought left in his head. He's closed in on both sides by your wet, soft thighs and now your fingers are giving him a different sensation underneath while pressing him against your soaked sex.
"I know, baby. Feels good, doesn't it?" Your fingertips trail lightly back and forth over the underside of his shaft, focusing on the inch or so beneath the tip.
"I can't... I need to cum." He groans, thrusting frantically, clinging to your body to keep you close. Within a few seconds, you feel his dick pulse under your fingertips, his cum coating the inside of your thighs in hot, thick, messy spurts.
He doesn't waste a second, kissing your forehead before kissing your neck and whispering "Good girl. Now let me watch you get yourself off with my cum on your fingertips."
#asks answered <3#becca writes spice#anon#needy!bucky#Bucky Barnes x reader smut#bucky barnes smut#sub!bucky#was this one something I've been fortunate enough to try? Absolutely.#and has it bounced around in my head ever since?? yep#I've got so many 💦sports asks#and I've been really hesitant to answer them bc I have people I know irl on here now#but honestly if my interests so far haven't freaked you out#those probably won't either#I made the best overnight oats last night I've been thinking about them all day#white chocolate chunks with raspberries and peanut butter#with oat milk#and I'm using that to distract me from the fact I'm locked out of my work emails and I can't do my Sunday evening email clear up#it's freaking me out that I can't get into them#that'll mean I have so much to do tomorrow morning#I'll probably lose my hour home on the train tomorrow trying to catch up#I love my hour to work and my hour home from work on the train#that's my me time#where I read my silly little book and chill
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
I wonder if Jedediah and octavius ever celebrated the 4th of July together? (also your leftover veggie dish looks like it would make Gordon Ramsay cry with joy :) )
They probably, most definitely did celebrate together I think
Featuring my failed attempt at drawing fireworks 🎆
If Gordon Ramsey were to see that dish he'd cry in general I think, given the fact that I forgot to put enough salt :')
#you're lucky I'm still home to draw that#I'm leaving tomorrow morning. sad but true. I can still draw stuff I'll just be lacking my usual inventory of a billion art supplies#ok a little context gor the food. I didn't exactly forget the salt. it's just that usually I put soy sauce which is pretty salty itself#but this time i didn't have any. so the balance in spices was broken. I don't know who cares about that but whatever#ask#anonymous#answered#night at the museum#natm#natm octavius#natm jedediah#octavius#gaius octavius#jedediah smith#jedediah#jedediah and octavius#jedtavius#art#fanart#traditional art#4th of july#july 4th#fourth of july#I guess#you should have sent me that ask earlier actually. we missed the actual date but whatever. time is an illusion anyway
106 notes
·
View notes
Note
I feel you, its so bad 😭, I had to go on a functioning adult human schedule for school and good god, out the house by 7am... bad bitches are not built for that..
WE REALLY ARE... and man, I can brute force myself into any schedule if there are things that HAVE to be done at certain times (like school, like you said) but it absolutely never feels "right". it feels like waking up at 3am to go to the airport type of shit. and it is truly so annoying... to get hit with the "that's a Normal schedule, you need to Fix your schedule" okay. alright. but let me hit you with this one. is it "normal" or is it just conducive to a 8 - 5. because no matter what my sleep schedule is like, or how locked in I am, I'm more clear headed at night + more productive and energetic. and no matter what, I'm tired during the day, especially the brightest times of day when the sun is allegedly supposed to be signaling my brain to be awake and alert. and it doesn't matter how much sleep I got.
#I can wake up in The Early Morning after going to bed at a reasonable hour the night prior and be exhausted throughout the daytime#and if I make it to the night then I'll suddenly perk back up. if I woke up at 7am that morning (with 8 hours of sleep under my belt)#I can comfortably stay awake until 5 or 6am that very next morning.#I need to Adapt to the daytime schedule- but if I loosen my grip on myself at all I will instantly SNAP back to the nighttime one.#full rubberband moment.#I don't need to transition back into it. my body just wants to click it back in place#I'll go right back into the swing of it as soon as I'm allowed to again#sergle answers#also I don't have trouble sleeping in daylight hours. yeah I have the curtains drawn in my room#but they aren't Blackout curtains. it's dim in there but not Dark. that doesn't impede me at all#it is crazy the way that people are so confident in telling me to my face that I'm on a bad and lazy schedule#bc they are categorizing my wake-up time as 'sleeping in' bc they're measuring it on their standard of when THEY go to bed.#i could go to bed at noon and wake up at 3pm and they'd say that i slept in
153 notes
·
View notes
Text
I was in a mission to pick up my FIRST FANCY ASS FRIDGE
I HAD ONE JOB TODAY
but... ended up with a Colossal Reindeer instead
LISTEN I HAD TO GET HIM MY HORN BRETHREN
#𐂃「ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ʙᴜʟʟᴇᴛꜱ」 &&. * 𝐨𝐨𝐜.#( I REALLY TRIED MY BEST#my internet router wasn't working so I had to wait#for someone to fix it this morning#Soon after I went to home depot to get the#cable extensions for the fridge#THAT'S WHEN I SAW IT#I HAD TO GET HIM#I FUCKN REVVED DOWN THE STREETS#WITH PPL LOOKING AT ME LIKE I WAS CRAZY#I'M COMPLETELY SANE#IT'S A /DEER/ WHICH I HAD TO GET THE DISPLAY#BC IT WAS OUT OF STOCK ALREADY????#I HAD NO OTHER OPTIONS AND I WASN'T#GOING TO LEAVE HIM BEHIND#ANYWHORE; i really tried gunning it to make it#for the fridge BUT by the time i made it home#I had to go to the movies for the Hero academia movie#WHICH HAD SO MUCH FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST VIBE#won't spoil#THEN when the movie was over I went back to#revving the streets only to witness - the store had changed its hours#closing earlier than I expected#SO TL-DR; NO FRIDGE TODAY#Tomorrow I'll get it for sure#for now I'll answer priv messages bc i'm so fuckn tired#I HAVEN'T sit down all day#beside the times I was driving like a lunatic with a#colossal deer on my back )
23 notes
·
View notes
Note
hello i am asking about your supercomputer oc with every disease and also flesh
are they single
IS can answer for himself !
#inquiries#robot#supercomputer#original character#mal-art#trucksquared#“just answer the ask normally” i say to myself#“heehee hoohoo in character asks are fun!!!” i reply#i enjoy it now but im not sure how i'll feel in the morning so! best to post it before my evil brain makes me die of embarrassment#cdw#tthw
382 notes
·
View notes
Text
#if you follow this blog you already know that i am generally 2-4 updates behind on content#if you don't follow this blog why do you want my opinion on natlan stuff?#and finally: if you are not sure if i've played something you want to talk to me about. you can send an initial ask to ask me#anyway as of this morning i have started blocking for this#asked and answered#(as a filing tag and in the hopes a particular anon will see this)#(not the capitano anon. you were sufficiently vague that i'll just hold that answer until i actually play it. thank you for that!)
16 notes
·
View notes
Note
I noticed you're a Ryomina!!! How did you get into it? And do you have any good fanfics/doujinshi you can advice me to read? ANYTHING on Ryomina actually? I'm dying for anything about them!!! Thanks!!
yes!!! it's me!!! i'm ryomina fan (one of many)!!! thank you for visiting my askbox, i'll do my best to answer all of the questions because it always makes me happy to see that ryomina sparks joy for people! :D
...this got really long because i like linking to things, so i'm putting it under a read more (IM VERY NORMAL ABOUT THEM)
how did i get into it? i got into persona 3 around august 2021 through the movies- at the time my only experience with the persona series was with P5R / P5S / P5D. p3 was the one that interested me the most (i thought minato was very pretty + i caught wind that the themes of the game were very resonant with people). i picked the movies over the game because i'm a guy who plays games at a snails pace, haha.
admittedly, i did latch onto ryomina because of the scenes in the third and fourth movie (i have mentioned in the tags of this art i drew how much i felt like i was exploding and blasting off to the moon watching it).
but what really dug me into the ryomina hole (and what has kept me there) was thinking about how much ryoji encapsulates the themes of p3- and how interconnected his fate is with minato. i wrote some musings about their dynamic here, if you're interested!
tl;dr: what if we were both boys and we were mirror images of each other and i inherited your kindness and looks but god doomed our narrative even though we're soulmates
on ryomina fanworks recommendations:
regarding fics: i'm going to assume that you've probably read the fics that have the highest kudo ratings on them, so i won't really be listing those.
a personal favorite fic that i always hold close to my heart is Eurydice's Vow by crescentmoontea, which explores the idea of ryomina in p5r's third semester. this was the first fic i read about ryomina and it made me tear up lots...
i also think a lot about I Alone Await You by Nail_gun, literally scrumptious writing that captures the ryomina dynamic so so well. actually check out Nail_gun's other ryomina fics while you're at it too!
other fun fic i'm fond of: can't get my mind out of those memories (what were they?) by foxmulder_whereartthou. ryoji being homeless lives rent free in my head and it's all because of this fic. there's a bunch of other fun ryominas from the same author too (i still need to read them)
BkZa555 also has some fun AU scenarios if you're into that too, notably with Zagreus (P5-Setting, Ryoji focus) and The Definition of Insanity (TIME LOOP fuckery!), but they're currently ongoing.
these were some ones that came to my mind first- as i have the strongest recollection reading them. admittedly i haven't really been reading fic this year, so i don't have many recommendations from fic that came out this year. but if you're so inclined to let ryomina consume your soul, i definitely recommend giving the newer works in the ryomina tag a look-see and see if it strikes your fancy!
as a side note, i do have a few ryomina fics that i've bookmarked on my ao3 here, though i have to say that i'm not sure how well they hold up in terms of like... what i would seek out of a fic these days. but they made past me happy so i bookmarked them, LOL. it's kind of outdated (my collection of fic recs has my old username *disintegrates*).
regarding doujinshi: i have not read all the ryomina doujinshi available, but as a starting point, please take a look at this list from pandora-scans from livejournal!
notably, this is where you can find the strawberry-chan say good bye doujin- which features a small and cute comic from shuji sogabe (the p3/p4 manga artist), as well as other artists. the existence of this doujinshi is the funniest thing to me because it's like "HEY if you're wondering what the volume 8 cover is really gay it's because sogabe contributed to a ryomina doujin." this fact makes my head spin (positive). it explains a lot about the manga.
regarding persona side material:
i know you didn't ask for these but i thought that i mine as well list these too, since i feel that the side materials have some fun expansions on ryoji and minato's interactions. i haven't... watched/read all of these but, hey, i like to share these things!
for comic anthologies for the persona series (some of which have ryoji!). if you're interested in reading them, here's a scanlation index from maboroshi-no on tumblr. i don't think this is a comprehensive list, but i think it will be a great starting point!
for some translations of the persona 3 drama cds, check out imaginary-numbers on dreamwidth! ryoji and minato interactions can specifically be found in the persona 3 character drama cd vol. 1, and for the audio + english subs, you can watch this video on youtube:
youtube
and ohh the musical. ryoji singing and dancing gives me so much joy. i haven't watched the musical in it's entirety (only fragments), but here are some links that may be of interest to you:
Ao no Kakusei (The Blue Awakening), Sakuya version - playlist for the first p3 musical, translated by Phoenix Maiika.
Ao no Kakusei (The Blue Awakening), Kotone version - playlist for the femc version!! also translated by Phoenix Maiika on YouTube.
Persona 3: The Weird Masquerade (English Subtitles) - playlist by rumio!
P3 Weird Musical DVD & Soundtrack Booklet Scans by rumio_k - twitter thread that links to these funsies, if you don't have twitter, here's the publicly shared drive link.
god. these sure are a lot of links, huh? i hope you enjoy them- pick and choose whatever sounds most appealing! (if this overwhelmed you im sorry GKLHLDH i just like being very comprehensive in my answers about things so i got carried away).
and as a reminder, you (and anyone else reading) are always welcome to browse my tags/archive and reblog things from there anytime! i have... nearly 300 ryomina posts which, while mostly consists of art, has a few fics, meta, hcs, gifs, memes, and whatnot scattered about.
or browse the minato and ryoji tags too! there's.. nearly 1k minato. and 500 ish ryoji. and they're going to keep on growing because i can't stop being obsessed with archiving these things. god help me i am so deep in this hole called ryomina hell and now you're here too. welcome aboard!
there's always going to be a lot of fun ways to enjoy rotating ryomina around in one's brain, i think- they're a pairing with such fun symbolic imagery that is So Deep (to me) but ALSO they're immensely hilarious and weird guys (affectionate). so i love to share these things in hopes that it gives you joy too! they are the most couple ever (to me) (i'm biased)
thank you again for the ask! i hope it can satiate your need for more ryomina, and be a nice aide in exploring the p3 fanspace :)
#ohhh do i even main tag this#fuck it we ball i'll tag it#lizzy askbox#persona 3#ryomina#ryoji mochizuki#minato arisato#i'm in a bit of a hiatus in terms of like.. looking at new ryomina stuff outside of fan art so i haven't seen Everything#but i would like to get back to it when i can be more cognizant and present to appreciate them#the grind to being a ryomina encyclopedia never stops!#my files and links are all messy i can hardly keep track of all the ryomina things... maybe i just need to make a neocities-#like cat's souyo archive (cat is an inspiration to me)#but FUCK man ryomina is so good. thank you for the follow and sending me this ask#i'm very sorry about the excessive length i can't help myself i'm very dedicated to wanting to know lots of things about them#i had a lot of fun answering this!#times like this make me want to return to like. my fic recommendation collection.. i gotta rehaul that stuff tbh#maybe after i've seen all the ryomina stuff i can make a ryomina iceberg based on what i've seen peple talk about (or not talk about)#it'll be a long while though. i feel like i've hardly scratched the surface even though i wouldn't call myself a casual enjoyer#ANYWAY BYE. no one ever apologize to me about being excessive because I AM very excessive and repetitive. LOL. have a good morning? evening
62 notes
·
View notes
Text
would the people want to buy a mr bonzo patch.....
#i already know the answer#but pretend that i dont.#not yet designed one yet BUT.#i just want to know bc im thinking of opening a sort of badge shop#if the attention to this is positive i might try and set one up idk#i'll definitely sell them at local event its just :/ idk the uk postal system scares me#((the thoughts of a man who knows damn well he has a maths exam in the morning))#mr bonzo#tmagp mr bonzo#if not for the people then. for me.#tmagp#the magnus protocol#silas rambles
18 notes
·
View notes
Note
💓 - What are some signs they’ve fallen for someone? How do they show their affection? For Nita plz!
Nita is a little.... dumb. Sometimes. Love her dearly, but she's stupid. When she's fallen for someone she's a nervous and goofy wreck. Can't put thoughts into words, can't say what she wants to say, or what she really means. Usually calls them a 'dumbass (affectionate)' and thinks that counts. Spoiler; it doesn't.
They're full of physical affection, though! They like being near and/or on the person she likes. They do things like rub their cheek on them like actual cats do when scent marking, or just generally having some point of contact is always nice. Either leaning against them, tail draped over them, and so on. Just something to know they're nearby even if they're busy doing their own thing!
Thanks for the ask, anon!
>> Questions here
#rp ask memes#im going to bed after this one i'll answer the rest in the morning/whenever i get up#// seek me on the horizon; where clouds turn to dreams
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't think just thinking about my work should cause me a panic attack bad enough to nearly make me faint.
I don't think the work environment that produces that reaction should be considered a good one
#My manager overrided the scheduling system to give almost everyone who's off on Saturdays an early morning Saturday parade shift#Her reasoning is that “If you can't work Saturdays you shouldn't be working anywhere at all”#Which is bizarre for multiple reasons but also her boss is completely fine with us having Saturdays off#But he can't do anything about this because he's in Hawaii#Which also leads to other things that need to be unpacked such as how he can afford that while we're getting paid 10 an hour minus tips#But anyways I have a closing shift before Saturday which meaning I won't be home till around 12#And ive done some calculations based off of how long it takes me to get ready before and after a shift#And it seems like I'll only have about 5 hours of sleep max between the two shifts#Not to mention that the day after closing shifts I can barely walk due to the strain of the previous night#So that will heavily effect the morning shift#And on Saturday I also have another thing to go two 2 hours after I get off of work#I've asked twice if someone could cover my shift with no reply despite others being answered within seconds#I'm going to fucking die y'all
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
Cowboy Octavius is just the singer Red Leather right down to the daddy issues thank you and goodnight!
You are so right
#this is what their child would wear actually if the had one#spock would rock that outfit 100% I'll keep it in mind for a future drawing#you know what this reminds me of? red guy from dhmis#ask#answered#not anon#night at the museum#natm#natm octavius#natm jedediah#jedediah#jedediah smith#gaius octavius#octavius#jedediah and octavius#jedtavius#cowboy#yeehaw#art#fanart#traditional art#red leader#I was supposed to post this in the morning but I accidentally mixed it up with the other post 😬
72 notes
·
View notes
Note
WHY ARE YOU SO NORMAL GO WATCH THE TRAILER AND BE INSANE LIKE THE REST OF US
So sorry sir. Back on duty 🫡
#Funniest ask I've ever gotten I'm rolling on the floor alsbdbksbdhekabejakbsis.#So true sorry for signing up late at stanning sskk it won't happen again!!!!#To be fair I was. very much. sleeping. But this ask is priceless I'm going to use it as a reaction for every time anything sskk drops–#and my sister ignores my screaming messages#(Like now. Sister you have to participate in the screaming. No I don't care you have never read a page of the sskk manga that's irrelevant)#people asks me stuff#And I wanted to answer all the other asks this morning but now I don't know if I'll make it in time before the new chapter drops#I'm so so sorry everyone 😭😭😭#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd s5#bsd season 5
54 notes
·
View notes
Note
we (alpha enthusiasts) are eating so well this week finallyy <3
this ep had SO MUCH Alpha i was honestly taken aback, Sasa how is it that we've been winning so much recently? is this a dream? is it the power of love? did we give away so much we finally get to receive? whatever it is hope it never ends, our girl got so much screentime and proper depth and some actual backstory on what her hopes and dreams and plans for the future are, i feel blessed AAAAAAAAAA
#as a eldest sister myself can i just say i relate to this character so much and i love her so much words can't really explain it#the big sis energy is there and it's so rare for me to feel it in a world where big sis characters usually feel like they've been written-#-either by an only child or a younger sibling idk how to say#also trust me when i say you wouldn't believe the amount of screencaps i took for this ep and how heavy they are gb wise#let's just say thank god i own an external hard drive otherwise my computer would have combusted#my eyes burn from all the capping and now i'll have to watch msi in the morning instead of tonight but for beloved alpha it was so worth it#💌 answered
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
/breathes. This icon is called killme003.png for the sake of this post because honestly, where yesterday I was rather demotivated from writing up more meta, I woke up today with the strength of all Aeons in existence (and... not-so-in-existence-anymore) for intense research. So I put my thoughts through the sternest 'let's try to shake and shoot up the perspective/logic/theory' process that I could manage, and it's still standing. If anything, I'm more certain than I was yesterday or a week ago, that MHY is doing something substantial, and vastly nuanced with this damned character. I thought I had big-brain thoughts on/for Guizhong, but I don't know if those hold a candle to the ones I have for Kafka (actually, they really do). My issue with this lady in wine though, I don't know where to start writing it all down. It's like 10 messy whiteboards that are hypotheses on her trailer, the words she uses therein, "Don't be afraid, listen to me, wasn't it you, who invited me?", "Destiny has thousands of faces, why does it choose to wear this one?", "Stealing a glance?" during someone's final moments during her spirit whisper? Like, come on, you can't tell me she doesn't play into fate somehow beyond what we've all obviously gathered. You can't tell me that there isn't a more authentic face that has been staring right at us this entire time. She borderline if not directly says it right to us, but we're almost taught to not listen anymore, to think that there's more to something, but what if writers are using that against us, what if this is an instance where we should take words at direct face value? On top of everything else, of course. Fate is "inevitable" and right in front of us always, after all.
God, imagine a being tied so intricately woven into fate (vastly differently from Elio, mind you), speaking quotes upon quotes about the inevitability of fate, and being tied to nihilism, and yet firmly holding some sort of faith into choice, and hounds us on it. I mean come on, one of the main quotes in the entire story of HSR are her words: "When you have the chance to make a choice, make one that you know you won't regret." And she directly tells us in her own SQ, and it is a confirmed truth and not a lie, that Kafka herself does not believe destiny to be predetermined. Now to what capacity? We don't know. But the contrast of this, the rich nuance in this drives me insane. The duality of this woman, the spider (which itself is already a duality of a creature) and the butterfly (not necessarily as juxtaposed as one would believe, it all depends on perspective), the curiosity/fascination opposite her boredom, the ease of her killing which is reinforced with the emotional distance of her submachine guns, and yet she speaks how we should "let morality be our (your) guide", which fits perfectly alongside the decision of having her wield a katana, a blade that was worn by those following the highest code of honor? Speaking of emotional distance, the way she speaks of humans and humanity feels so distant, along with her talk of fragility. God, I just, want to shake HVY very firmly and fiercely. The fact that her eyes are highly likely to be concealed (hello, red), the fact that her voice is altered consistently, and yet we're shown the depth and warmth of her actual voice, and the empathy it holds consistently around primarily one person (almost two).
I love writing meta, but I don't know where to begin. I don't know where to start, but I'll get there. I just wanted to show how messy my mind is, I suppose. It makes perfect sense in my head, I've seen the dots, I've connected them, I see you MiHoYo, and you're giving me everything my brain needs in terms of latching my claws into something. But my god, where do I start writing it all down.
#[ ooc. ] don't try to make it logical or edit your soul according to the fashion. rather; follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.#[ /rests my fingers to my temples and applies pressure as if it'll give me all the answers. ]#[ i will get there. i wanted a challenge and i already knew i'd found one when i picked her up last year. but my god. ]#[ aeons give me strength to put all the stuff that's incredibly sensical and logical in my head-- to paper without it being nonsensical. ]#[ or appearing as such. ]#[ /wallows. ]#[ i should honestly have an early night and get up earlier-- i'll be gone throughout the afternoon so it'd be nice to have time... ]#[ in the morning. ]#[ or at least i believe it'll be in the afternoon. i'm gonna go sneak downstairs to check. ]#[ but hi welcome to another episode of sae losing her mind. ]#[ i'm getting one step closer to that looney bin every day. ]#[ meta. ] the mara's tether is firmly in her grasp. she will not pull upon it before the designated time; nor shall she relinquish it.#[ can i even tag it with this? no. but i'll do it any way for... reference i suppose. ]#[ any way-- GOODNIGHT LADIES AND GENTS. ]
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
what is going on w my brain
#huge tag rant coming but dw about it#basically. if anyone here has known me on the internet for long enough yous will have gathered that i badly struggle w motivation and#fulfilling goals that i set for myself even if it's for smth i enjoy eg languages#it happens so often but especially over summer where my brain just goes Nope#“i have all this free time to do the thing I've been planning for weeks and i've been so excited about planning but now we have the time i#will be numb and sad and scroll“#i also have huge problems focusing unless every factor is perfectly balanced and even then it's still 50/50#i do have a bad attention span from being chronically online but even if you put me in a blank room w my task i'd be distracted by thoughts#external deadlines are some of the only things that can kick me into gear and i've been fine at uni so far#but i'm scared i'll have another a levels situation where my mental health was so awful i missed every essay deadline for french for 2 years#sometimes by up to a month#the only reason i got away w it is because i had a breakdown in front of my teacher and he was like “yeah take care of yourself the essays#are not that deep just get them in first thing after half term ig“#like that was v kind of him but if i ever have a situation that bad again i will genuinely fail uni cus you can't get away w that#where was i going w this (<- is aware of the irony)#right yeah this week i've experienced the epic highs and lows#highs of really enjoying my downtime and putting active effort into my hobbies instead of my downtime being “scrolling but i don't hate it”#but lows of realising how much time i 'wasted' in my teen years feeling sad and scrolling when i could have been developing skills and#having fun#and yeah i'm having a high rn and genuinely enjoying life but it's making me realise that my default state of being is just 😐#like even when i'm at uni where my mental health is so much better than at home when it's just me home alone or in my room i'm just 😐#not really having fun just existing v passively mindlessly scrolling waiting for the day to be over so i can see my friends in the morning#like not every day has to be amazing but surely there's more to life than just 😐 in 99% of your downtime#like i've struggled for years on how to answer “what do you do in your free time” cus i had to search for answers#i read and go on walks. which is true. but they were always things i did as phone breaks during weekends and not something i actively did#because i liked them#and because of past mental health issues reading and sports based hobbies have become tainted for me#i'm working on it but yeah#huge tldr. i'm finally starting to accept that i probably have a combo of undiagnosed mental illness and neurodivergence#because if it's taken me this long to realise how much it truly impacts my enjoyment of life then surely that's smth
6 notes
·
View notes