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ectonurites · 3 years ago

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Conner Kent in Suicide Squad/the Infinite Frontier era: wtf is going on

Alright lads hello I just need to type out some theories/thoughts about what’s going on with my boy Kon right now. This is more for myself than anything else (just trying to organize my thoughts) but since some of y’all like to hear me talk about comics (and some of this discussion has already been happenin in my inbox) I figured i’d format it and put it on here too! its like 4k words and written over the last few days mostly at 3am. sorry <3

this is basically just me going like

Also fair warning that like, I can be wrong and misinterpret things just as much as anyone else can, like I use panels to support why I think what I do but a lot of this stuff is subjective/complicated to understand so like... in general somethings should be taken with a grain of salt, especially because exactly what changes to the universe were made by Death Metal/Infinite Frontier haven’t been super super clearly defined yet. Also sometimes comic writers make the most random nonsensical shit happen, so I as a fan am also allowed to theorize about random nonsensical shit.

But to start: let’s backtrack!

Many months ago when Infinite Frontier was first announced they dropped some promotional art, and I remember being a little confused because. Well:

(Variant Cover spread for Justice League (2018) #59)

(Variant Cover spread for Superman (2018) #29)

Notice how Conner is back to his Teen Titans 2003 look up top, but in his YJ 2019 look at the bottom? This seemed weird to me! But then they announced that Conner would be part of the Suicide Squad ongoing title, in the T-shirt look, so I wrote this discrepancy off in my brain as ‘oh I guess that cover was just the last hurrah for punk Kon’ and moved on with life.

In Suicide Squad right away we learn he’s very much so there against his will:

(Suicide Squad (2021) #1)

Which corroborates more or less what we were also shown in Future State: Suicide Squad, although admittedly it tells... a slightly different version of the events. When I first saw both of these together I just chalked it up to being a bit inaccurate as it’s shown as a memory in Future State:

(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)

Issue 2 we saw him in action with the Squad, trying to do his best to still be a hero despite the team, but things get a little more interesting in the following issue. It starts off with an account of his history

(Suicide Squad (2021) #3)

This page gave me a few immediate red flags, mostly minor things that had to do with coloring, so more irl problems than things to take seriously in-universe (Kon’s pants are the wrong color in the first Superboy shot, and Bart’s Impulse costume is in Kid Flash colors instead of the correct Impulse ones) but then also it just bugged me the phrasing “he joined Young Justice” when he was a founder of the team, he didn’t join it he made it with Tim and Bart.

But again, chalked that stuff up to just.... writers/artists being inconsistent/unaware of things that they should be aware of, or even Nocturna just not being specific with details. But it did still strike me as a little odd considering the very accurate use of villains in those same shots, Scavenger who was a reoccurring bad guy from Kon’s solo days and showed up basically nowhere else (even holding the Spear of Lono and everything!) and Billy/Harm (Greta’s brother) from Young Justice.

But then a few pages later we got this:

(Suicide Squad (2021) #3)

Which is interesting. My first instinct was to think he’s being drugged w kryptonite or something thats leaving him hazy/out of it, but my thoughts on that have kinda changed, we’ll get there in a bit. But in general the context of ‘something’s wrong’ made the slight discrepancies on some details of his own history make more sense.

I also want to then bring up the next part to this story, the crossover issue in Teen Titans Academy.

(Teen Titans Academy #3)

So a few things. Does it feel weird to anyone else that Conner Kent, a known previous Titan who literally has a framed picture of himself in a case there, would set off alarm sensors like that? Wouldn’t he be... recognized as a Titan not an intruder by their sensors? Interesting! Anyways.

He looks really pained looking at that picture, and sad, and almost frustrated, which ya know makes sense and hurts my heart because he misses them! He misses his friends and being happy.

But, importantly for a criticism I wanna make thats less theory related and more just me bein annoyed at Tim Sheridan, that’s a picture of Conner. Right there. That’s Superboy, on display at Teen Titans Academy, so the people who frequent this building would know who he is and what he looks like and be able to recognize him, he’s even in the same outfit and everything. Alinta recognized him at the end of Suicide Squad #3.

So why does only one person during this big fight then comment on his presence?? Why doesn’t it get a bigger reaction???

(Teen Titans Academy #3)

And after the fight we don’t see any on panel moment of Wallace going up to the staff Titans (who weren’t present for the fight) and saying like “HEY NIGHTWING UHHH SUPERBOY WAS WITH THE SUICIDE SQUAD?” we just see him talking with his friends upset about Crush leaving. We see Alinta talking to them but we don’t see the exact dialogue. So I do just wanna take the writer by the shoulders and shake him a little bit and ask WHY because that just feels like... something you’d wanna address on panel! This is like the first time since joining the squad that Kon’s at all in contact with people from his life before Waller got involved, I feel like not addressing those people’s reactions to it/not discussing it at least a little bit on panel (especially when Conner CAME UP in the previous TTA issue, Dick brought him up and everything!!!) is a really odd choice. Maybe it’ll happen next issue and i’m just impatient, but who knows. Anyways, gripes with Sheridan aside, lets move on.

I wanna bring up how Conner... doesn’t really respond to Wallace’s question? At all? Except to just fight him off, not even an attempt at a ‘Sorry’ or anything? (the ‘Ha! That all you got?!’ seems to be coming from Culebra not Conner, although the placement of the bubble is vague enough it could be that it was supposed to be Conner? but it seems more like what she’d say, especially as she’s grabbing Emiko like that) That just feels weird. It feels off. In general he speaks so little in Suicide Squad #3 and this issue. Tbh it almost feels like he doesn’t really recognize Wallace which I mean I suppose they never exactly met (they would have theoretically during Death Metal, basically all past/present Titans were together for a while during that), but Kon’s been back in existing long enough he’d have a sense of who current heroes are anyways.

But right, so, lots of little things that feel weird... that gets us caught up to the most recently released comics... but in this household we look at solicits as they drop. Which gives us some info on what’s coming up a few months ahead of time, albeit without full context obviously. Issues #4 and #5 don’t mention Conner in their descriptions or show him on the covers at all, because there’s just other plot things going on, so ya know seems things will be quiet for him for a bit.

But then we got the August solicitations and oh BOY it’s a doozey for him! And some things start to kinda connect perhaps!

I want to just take a moment to look at that specific wording. “The teen calling himself Conner Kent” I’m probably reading too much into it but that feels deliberate, like why wouldn’t you just say ‘Conner Kent’? Usually these kinds of descriptions are trying to keep a low word count, not add in extra words that don’t need to be there. It makes it feel like that’s a name he’s using that... doesn’t actually belong to him.

So the theory I want to propose (that has been floating around already) is that based on these covers and the description, and how the Conner we’ve been seeing in Suicide Squad apparently talks about his own personal history like he’s ‘reading a wikipedia entry’ and had little response to people he should be aware of like Wallace and apparently isn’t recognized as a Titan through a bio-scan and also bearing in mind those initial promo arts with two separate looks at the same time for him... I think we're looking at a situation where the Conner in Suicide Squad so far has actually been a clone of original Conner (like... like he’s Match 2.0 or somethin) the whole time, that’s just not aware he’s not the original.

Now that’s the base theory I wanna work with and build off of, but there’s MANY different directions that could go in/ways that could work.

For example, one idea is that the Conner we saw in #1 who was chained up is the original Conner, and he’s been being cloned and held captive, so everything else with Conner in Suicide Squad so far has been this Match 2.0

Another idea could be the original Conner in #1 is also the Conner in #2 who Waller had then commented wasn’t ready during the mission in Arkham and had zapped with a lil Kryptonite, and after that moment she took him off the field because his spirit hadn’t been broken enough to be obedient (as he was a lot quieter in Issue #3 & the TTA crossover compared to #2, and #3 is when the Nocturna thing with the history happened)

Or it could even be original Conner in #1, then in #2 was one clone that wasn’t ‘ready’ that after that point she stopped using him, and switched to a diff clone for #3, because like that first cover did show a LOT of clones. That could be more just ‘artistic interpretation’ or something, covers sometimes do exaggerate/mislead, but it also could indicate we’re looking at a lot of clones.

(Suicide Squad (2021) #2)

With all of those in mind I also wanna bring up this little bit from Future State Suicide Squad:

(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)

Again Future State is a ‘possible future’ so stuff from it isn’t set in stone, but the idea of ‘she still has his YJ 2019 outfit somewhere’ makes me think it could be something along the lines of like, Clone!Conner finds original Conner and frees him and he gets back his YJ outfit, which could lead to like the imagery on that variant cover/the idea from my very first part of this post where I was talking about Kon being shown in both outfits in different places.

Alternatively entirely from all that, another option is that she maybe got ahold of what was needed to clone Kon, but doesn’t even have the original Kon in her possession. (again with the Future State thing, she could be lying since elsewhere in Future State we did also see a copy of YJ 2019 Kon’s costume in one of the Jon-focused Future State comics in a display case 🤷‍♂️) Which could also lead to that confrontation on the variant cover & the promo art thing... and could also explain why we have seen nothing about anyone looking for him, because in that sort of scenario he wouldn’t have even been missing in the first place.

There’s a lot of possibilities! It’s still too early to solidly know anything, but I feel pretty confident we’re entering another cloning related plot with our Clone Boy so it’s... ya know. Clone time. On the one hand it’s annoying because god we have done clone/multiple Kons plots before. We’ve done them so much.

BUT on the other hand, I think it could be interesting to use this situation to tie into some older stuff from pre-reboot that I can see some connections to, because due to Infinite Frontier altering the world and people’s memories it’s all technically fair game storytelling-wise again (and like, the use of Scavenger specifically in that flashback way above, who’s not a super well known villain in general, makes me think maaaaybe the writer did do some of their Kon homework)

Something also just dawned on me that i’m not quite sure what it means but still is worth mentioning: The Conner here in Suicide Squad is back in his Teen Titans Vol. 3 outfit, and his history as he tells it stops during Teen Titans Vol. 3. And doesn’t... mention when he died? It feels like it... stopped before that, because like I feel if he was telling his life history (even the wiki version LMAO) the part where he died and came back would be pretty important to bring up?? And Nocturna specifically says that he didn’t explain how that stuff from TT Vol. 3 then led to him in his current situation. That’s a pretty big gap (like uhhh everything from resurrection until he got lost on Gemworld + all the rest of the Young Justice 2019 stuff?) So like.. there could be something funky going on here that has to do with that.

Similarly when he flashes back in Future State: Suicide Squad to his past it also goes right from Teen Titans Vol. 3 to the current Suicide Squad run? Like I get it’s one page so they can’t show that much, but the fact that there’s now two places that flash back to that same specific time period and nothing past it until the Suicide Squad feels just... noticeable! Not concretely indicative of something, but noteworthy.

(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)

Like...this almost has me thinking maybe it could be something where like, they tampered with his dead body and cloned from that? BECAUSE, for those of you who may not be familiar with how Kon’s resurrection (during Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds) worked, when he came back there was time travel involved! He was brought back to life in the future (like. Legion of Superheroes era) because it was a process that took that thousand or so years to work/heal him (essentially because of his hybrid dna the process that healed Clark when he had died back in Death of Superman/Reign of the Supermen in the 90s just took a lot longer, but its the same Kryptonian healing chamber thing) meaning when he came back to the present alive again, his dead body was still also in the present just in it’s process of healing. Meaning especially if we’re bringing back stuff from before the reboot, Kon likely has his dead body just vibing out there while he’s goin around living life 🤷‍♂️

SO them doing something related to that could explain the choice to put him back in the T-shirt (since thats what he wore in the era his brain would be caught up to if we’re relating this to when he died) and why he’d recognize himself in a group photo with Bart, Cassie and Tim but maybe not someone like Wallace who didn’t exist back then. I don’t know, this branch of thought is still half baked. Will maybe come back and elaborate on this later. But I’m now really thinking there might be a connection to the early Teen Titans Vol. 3 era specifically because of it being referenced twice in stuff with this Suicide Squad.

ANYWAYS moving on, this is probably a shot in the dark and I only thought of it because I just was reading 90′s Superboy, but right away when thinking about ‘Amanda Waller’ and ‘Cloning Kon’ I was reminded of some stuff about the circumstances around the first clone that was made of Conner: Match.

(Superboy (1994) #35)

Match was created by an organization called ‘The Agenda’, that was after a while primarily under the control of The Contessa, Lex Luthor’s ex-wife, aided by Amanda Spence who had a personal grudge against Kon bc her dad was Paul Westfield the guy Kon was originally cloned from (before the Lex/Clark retcon). They were the big bad guys of an arc called The Evil Factory in Superboy (where Cadmus personnel got replaced with clones) which also then tied into the Sins of Youth event over in Young Justice (Remember how Match was posing as Superboy for a while there? yeah). After those plot lines finished the Agenda was pretty defeated (Amanda Spence was still out there and came back later but still) and... who got their hands on the remaining Agenda tech?

(Superboy (1994) #87)

Why none other than Amanda Waller herself!

If they re-canonized pieces of this (which also tied into Young Justice which ya know, YJ 2019 was all about re-establishing stuff from YJ even before Death Metal happened soooo) it would totally make sense for Waller to have complete access to the exact technology used to clone Conner before.

Now, a thing to consider here though is what happened to Kon after he’d been cloned that first time, where his DNA got all destabilized by the process (and he needed to go through a procedure with Roxy as a genetic template to keep him together, which was how he got stuck at age 16 for a while). This was something where he was fine for a period of time before the side effects began to kick in. Now, I think it’s worth mentioning that was also back in the days where he was not yet Lex & Clark’s clone, but still Paul Westfield’s. So there could easily be a ‘now that certain Kryptonian genes have kicked in as he got his newer powers it doesn’t destabilize him the same way’ reasoning or something along those lines to avoid this problem. Alternatively, it could be an interesting thing to embrace rather than retcon away, especially if we’ve been seeing Clone Conner in action and Original Conner hasn’t been in our focus, things could be wrong with him that we just don’t know about.

Another branch of thinking that I think is even MORE a shot in the dark but could be interesting (or again even related to what I just said, could be a combo of things) is if this somehow ended up related to those clones that were reverse engineered from the remains of Match from the very end of Teen Titans Vol. 3

(Teen Titans (2003) #99)

All of them were then taken down with Kryptonite and killed in battle (by Rose & Damian)

(Teen Titans (2003) #100)

But like... idk man if Waller got her hands on those corpses or even just the data from Dr. Caligan that he extracted from Match to make them... that could also be a potential way to make some new Conner clones, and that could be why the bio-scan thing at Titans Tower wouldn’t work properly because of the thing he says above about it not being a “complete match’

One thing I don’t think is the case, but has been brought up to me, is stuff with New 52 Kon. I’ve talked extensively about New 52 Kon in recent weeks because I read through all his stuff, but the thing that makes me shy away from him being part of this situation is the fact that... he’s not interchangeable with Kon the way I think some people think he is. He wouldn’t visually be recognized as Original Kon because he is literally on a genetic level a separate person. They’d prob look related, sure, like they’d pass for brothers because they both have Clark’s DNA, but New 52 Kon has Lois’ DNA and Original Kon has Lex’s. New 52 Kon would likely look more like Jon, rather than Kon. Lois specifically commented in an Action Comics issue that Kon had some resemblance to Lex, even. So like, things like Wallace recognizing him or him looking at his own matching reflection alongside the group picture at the Tower... those wouldn’t happen the same way if this was New 52 Kon.

Now I think it coooould theoretically be possible for Waller to have gotten her hands on that future N.O.W.H.E.R.E. cloning tech that had been used to make New 52 Kon, like I wouldn’t rule that out. Because she knows where the remains of their bases are as shown in Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016) #16-17, and like, Harvest is dead so she could easily just send teams out there to gather shit if she wanted.

Onto some other things I don’t think are actually related but that I was reminded of/wanted to address:

I feel i’d be a bad timkon fan if during all of this discussion of past stories with cloning Kon I didn’t even bring up Tim’s cloning attempt stuff, but I think it would ultimately be unrelated. His tech was stolen from Luthor, and his attempts didn’t succeed because he was trying to build from scratch without Cadmus’ the data about how they altered the DNA from the original process.

(Teen Titans Vol. 3 #34)

Then that initial cover for the annual really reminded me of part of the Hollow Men story from Superboy Vol. 5 just with like... Kon in a room full of copies of himself. I don’t think this story would be related either because it was more magic Tannarak stuff rather than regular cloning, but ya know. It’s the imagery.

(Superboy Vol. 5 #9)

It also really reminded me of the stuff from Hyper-Tension which was hypertime stuff not cloning but again just... visually.

(Superboy Vol. 4 #62)

In general I don’t think we’re EVER gonna see Black Zero or any of these multiverse Superboys again LMAO.

To try to sum up all of this in a way that might make sense here’s kinda a... flowchart of some of my main ideas for what the cloning situation could be/how the logic could work. Again this is borrowing stuff from across continuities because Infinite Frontier means theoretically anything’s fair game. (Also I don’t think I mentioned this earlier but I do mention it in the chart, but I think it’s also reasonable that Waller could get her hands on Cadmus tech if Cadmus is like properly made canon again. She just has funky government connections!)

Also I just now thought of this now several hours after I already made the chart and I don’t wanna remake it so sorry not incorporating it there but I remembered there was also that bit during House of Kent where Clark took Kon to the Hall of Justice and they were running some tests on him, so I’m thinking it’s also possible Waller got ahold of that data/that might be how she found out about Kon in the first place for this timeline. And they indicated that there was something wrong with him there, where he might eventually lose his powers or something, so maybe she tried to do cloning stuff to be able to have a copy of Superboy in his prime or something??? before that started kicking in. I don’t know, just more things to consider:

(Action Comics (2016) #1028)

ANYWAYS in conclusion: there is clone fuckery of some sort happening, I’m curious where it’s gonna go, and I just want Kon to be okay.

If you actually read this uhm. props to you bc this probably makes no sense to anyone but me its just word vomit <3

#this is very long! and disorganized! i am sorry #this doesn't have one theory abt things it has like. many #its basically just brainstorming/spitballing ideas #i could also be entirely off base! with much of this! i just feel i need that disclaimer #grandpa max is god? i go to church now #i need a kon talk tag bc i swear i write more analysis stuff like this for him than anyone else

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beetlelands · 3 years ago

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im just gonna post some of these back to back bc why not. this draft is from october 2019 and is aptly titled “ruh roh ghost lad." but this is the one where beej gets stuck as a ghost in the maitland-deetz house

With a poof, Beetlejuice was on the roof of the Maitland-Deetz house. He groaned, opening his eyes. “Where am I?” He questioned quietly, looking around the area. He was quick to recognize his destination. “Wait what no, how did I get here? God/Satan please send me back,” he muttered to himself. He tried his best to teleport himself away, but he couldn’t go anywhere. He tried to fly away but ended up on Saturn so he was quick to fly back to the roof.

Beetlejuice sunk down to his knees, begging to god/satan- or perhaps the person who sent him there in the first place.

“Dammit!” he shouted in frustration, slamming his hand down on the tiling of the roof.

He heard the window begin to rattle as it was being opened. Muttering a string of curses to himself, Beetlejuice teleported himself to the other side of the roof, hiding. He heard the familiar voice of Barbara Maitland say “I told you there’s nothing out here honey, stop being so paranoid.” With that the window shut once more.

Beetlejuice sighed, slumping down the side of the chimney. He was trapped in the plane of the Maitland/Deetz house. The place he was killed- not that he was still salty about that or anything. He refused to believe he was a simple ghost. He was still a demon- he had to be- maybe he was just trapped.

That’s when an idea struck him- he needed to see Lydia. If she said his name three times, he could return to the living plane like before. Sure, it might be hard to get her to say his name, but the two of them were BFFFFs forever. She had to help him, it was his only choice. He needed to get out of there and Lydia was his ticket home.

Begrudgingly, Beetlejuice floated down to Lydia’s room. The blinds were closed, so he knocked on the window. When she opened the blinds, he was out of sight. He phased through the wall and took a seat at the end of the bed. Beetlejuice watched as the girl narrowed her eyes, peering out the window. “Must’ve been a bird,” she shrugged before turning around to see none other than Lawrence Beetlejuice Shoggoth.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Oh c’mon Lyds, I know you missed me.” Beetlejuice teased, but the girl merely rolled her eyes, giving him a stern look. “Fine, I missed you- no okay even I didn’t believe that.”

She couldn’t help but smile a little at that, “You love me, don’t try to deny it.” The demon pretended to throw up, which caused Lydia to laugh but she was quick to stop herself. She regained the same serious tone she had earlier, “You know my family isn’t going to want you here.”

“But do you?” He asked, earning a confused look in return. “Lydia, do you want me to leave?”

“I don’t know, Beej. If I say, yes will you go?” The teen asked playfully.

“Nope! But get this- I won’t leave, because I can’t.”

“Wait what?” Lydia’s smug expression fell.

“I am trapped here just like dear old Adam and Barbara. You may wonder ‘how?’ and to that I say- I don't know! But I have an idea on how I might be able to leave, and that involves you, scarecrow. I need you to say my name three times and maybe, just maybe, I can get out of here.”

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“Well then, we just have to test it to find out.”

“Beetlejuice,” the demon clenched his fists in anticipation. “Beetlejuice,” he closed his eyes, preparing himself. “Beetlejuice,” Lydia finished off, watching intently to see what would happen.

The bio-exorcist stayed quiet for a little bit before opening one eye to examine if anything had happened. Groaning, he opened his other eye. “I don’t feel any different.” He tried using his demonic powers but nothing happened, well there were a bit of sparks (which caused Lydia to giggle a little at his failure). He tried teleporting but that was to no avail. “I don’t have my demon powers. I’m… not a demon.” Lydia was understandably shocked. For as long as she knew Beetlejuice he was a demon, she couldn’t even picture him as anything else. “I’m a ghost, Lydia! A fucking ghost!” He shouted angrily, slamming his fist down on her bed post. She shushed him, causing him to take a few deep breaths, “Okay, sorry, sorry. Gotta keep quiet so the fam doesn’t find me, I know.”

Lydia scrunched her nose in disgust at the word ‘fam’ but knew that wasn’t nearly as important as what Beetlejuice just revealed about himself. “How can you no longer be a demon? Is that even possible? And you said you’re trapped here? In that case, it doesn’t matter if you’re quiet or not. It’s not like you can hide forever. Plus, maybe Adam and Barbara can help get you back to normal. Is there a way to get you back to normal? What if-”

The ex-demon placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder, causing her to look up at him. “I’ll be honest with you, I zoned out until you said Adam.”

The girl pushed his hand off her shoulder, “This is serious Beej. What if you’re trapped here forever like the Maitlands?”

“Then I’m trapped here forever with the Maitlands” he smirked.

Lydia scoffed, rolling her eyes. “There’s gotta be some reason you’re like this, and there has to be some way to get you back to the way you were.” Beetlejuice nodded in agreement. “First step to figuring this all out is to let everyone know what’s happening.”

She motioned for him to follow her. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Nope but it’s all we got.” She shrugged and he copied the action.

Beetlejuice put his hand on the door before she could open it. “Okay but what if we prank them?”

“You know I’m always down to spook my family, but they’re not gonna be happy that you’re here to begin with. So we should take things easy, don’t overwhelm them, y’know?” He groaned and muttered complaints under his breath as he moved his hand from the door.

Lydia led Beetlejuice downstairs. No one was in the living room, so she loudly screamed for a family meeting.

Charles bolted into the room, Delia excitedly following him. The Maitlands sank down from the ceiling, clearly stressed by the teen’s yelling.

“I can’t believe you called a family meeting, Lydia!” Delia said cheerfully, not noticing the ex-demon standing behind Lydia.

“Get away from her” Charles commanded, glaring angrily at Beetlejuice. Sure, they didn’t leave off on a bad foot, but he was not going to let history repeat itself. Delia flinched at his shouting before seeing who he was talking to.

“Oh c’mon, Chuck. Aren’t you happy to see your son-in-law?” Beej teased, earning death glares from all of the adults in the room. “Too soon?” He asked, feigning innocence. Lydia laughed at the inappropriate joke. “See this guy gets it” Beetlejuice smiled, nudging the teen.

Delia placed a hand on Charles’ arm, a silent plea for him to remain calm. Adam placed his arm out in front of Barbara. She looked to him and he shook his head. With a sigh, she backed down, holding onto her husband’s hand for her emotional stability.

“Beetlejuice is trapped here as a ghost like Barbara and Adam.” Lydia states, breaking the tension in the room. Confusion was plastered on the adults’ features.

“How?” Adam asked slowly, hesitantly.

“Good question, really good question. However, we don’t have a really good answer.” Beetlejuice verbally danced around the answer.

“What does that mean?” Charles furrowed his eyebrows.

“He doesn’t know how this all happened.” The teen clarified with a shrug. “I thought that maybe my resident ghost parents could help us figure out what happened to him.”

Barbara narrowed her eyes at the ex-demon, not buying his act. Adam, however, smiled softly and said, “Of course we’ll help, Lydia.”

“If you’re staying here, we’re gonna need to lay down some ground rules.” Charles stated, eyes locked on Beetlejuice.

He met his eyes with an almost wicked smile, “Of course, Chuck.”

Lydia groaned dramatically, “it’s not like he can do much. He’s a ghost now, not a demon.”

“Ghosts need boundaries too” Barbara retorted.

“I think the most obvious rule is that you cannot marry Lydia again.” Delia said, earning nods from the adults in the room.

Beetlejuice groaned, “how many times do I have to say that it was a green card thing!?! Even I’m not creepy enough to actually try to marry Lydia. She’s like 3!”

“I’m almost 16, Beej.” She rolled her eyes.

“Exactly you’re 3. Now quiet down tot, the grown ups are talking.” He teased. She stuck her tongue out at him and he stuck his out at her.

“You’re not one to talk about age Beetlejuice. You may be extremely old, but you’re less mature than Lydia.” Charles spoke snidely. Both the ex-demon and his daughter seemed offended by the statement.

“Rule number two: no pranks.” Adam spoke up, trying to change the subject.

“What? That’s not fair!” Beej protested at the same time Lydia asked “Have you met us?”

“The last time you two pulled pranks, you scared people to the point that the passed out!” Barbara explained.

“Just because a couple of cowards couldn’t take a scare, doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be able to prank. Plus, That Beautiful Sound was a whole bop and our dance sequence was phenomenal.” Beetlejuice said defensively. Everyone except for Lydia gave him a confused look.

“Please don’t take away our pranks! We’ll tone them down, I promise.” Lydia bartered, giving both sets of parents puppy dog eyes.

Adam cracked first, then Delia, then Barbara. Charles didn’t crack until, with a frown, she muttered a quiet “please dad.”

“Okay fine. Rule number two is no big pranks. Just try not to do anything that will put yourself or others into harm’s way.” Charles amended.

“Rule three: don’t physically harass us, Beetlejuice.” Barbara said, crossing her arms sternly.

“Define physically harass…” BJ said furrowing his brows.

“Don’t grope or touch either of us inappropriately, don’t kiss us, and don’t make inappropriate jokes at our expense. I’m not just gonna take it this time.” Barbara said. Maitlands 2.0!

“Fair enough, Babs. But don’t pretend you didn’t like it.” He joked, earning the most terrifying look from Barbara. “Okay okay sorry, I was just kidding.”

Adam lightly rubbed his thumb in circles on Barbara’s hand, causing her to relax and saving Beetlejuice from her wrath.

“Rule four: no lashing out. In this house we try to maintain a calming aura, all matters can be solved through (calm) communication.” Delia smiled. Beetlejuice resisted to roll his eyes.

“I’d say the final rule is to not go into anyone’s bedroom unless you’re invited in. Snooping or just disturbing the peace is highly frowned upon, so just watch yourself. If any more rules are to be added in the future, you are expected to follow them as well.” Charles concluded.

“As you wish, Chuckles.” Beej said with a posh accent, bowing dramatically. Lydia giggled at his antics, but as usual, she was the only one to appreciate his jokes.

“We will leave you to figure out how all of this happened.” Delia stated with a soft smile, she lead Charles out of the room, and motioning for Lydia to follow. Hesitantly, she did. She mouthed to BJ that she’d be back in a bit.

“I don’t believe you.” Barbara said as soon as she heard the door down the hall close.

“What? What’s there to not believe? Wouldn’t you think I’d prefer to leave than stay somewhere where I’m clearly not wanted?”

“Well you weren’t exactly wanted the first time-“ Adam started, but was cut off by the ex-demon.

“I was selfish then. Goal oriented, if you will. I just wanted to be alive! But I’ve been down that track and seems like life just wasn’t meant for me. But here we are now, and I’m trapped with my killers.”

“Lydia is the one who stabbed you with bad art.” Adam stayed matter-of-factly.

“But you convinced me I was wanted. You kissed me.” He accused Adam. “And you flirted with me.” He pointed at Barbara. “You played to my senses to emotionally manipulate me! And you think I’m here by choice?”

Barbara frowned. He had left so confidently. There didn’t seem to be any hard feelings. But here they were. “Beetlejuice, I believe that you’re stuck here. I just meant that I didn’t believe you were telling the whole truth. But I’m sorry for what we did, we just wanted what was best for Lydia and that seemed like the only option.”

Beej took a breath, remembering Delia’s dumb rule. “What do you mean by you don’t believe I’m telling the whole truth?”

“You have to know how you got here.” Barbara said.

“Okay yeah fair enough. I’m pretty sure I know how and why I’m here but not how I can leave.”

“Wh- it was just that easy?” Adam asked. “All Barbara had to do was call you out?”

“The netherworld is full of paperwork

and again, an abrupt ending! because past me sucked <3

#long post #draft #a work out of progress #straight up didn't edit this #breaking the fourth wall #beetlejuice fanfiction #not beetlelands this time lads #but it likely would’ve been #bc back in the day bestie had major beetlelands brain rot!!#tbh i don’t really ship it now #but you didn’t hear that from me #beetlejuice #barbara maitland #adam maitland #lydia deetz #charles deetz #delia deetz

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botanyshitposts · 5 years ago

Note

pls explain the news in laymans terms 😭

okay lads buckle up, this is gonna be a long one. the paper is “A phylogenomic analysis of Nepenthes (Nepenthaceae)” from Murphy et al. i’m gonna link it here, and i encourage anyone interested to read it for themselves and draw their own conclusions, but otherwise i’m gonna give an overview as i understand it.

if you do not want to see 394023 words of in-depth carnivorous plant genetics content you should start scrolling now.

so. Nepenthes is a carnivorous plant family colloquially known as ‘asian pitcher plants’ or ‘monkey cups’. it’s one of the largest carnivorous plant families in the world, and without a doubt one of the most diverse, but we’ll get to that in a minute. these plants have pitchers that fill with fluid and digest bugs alive (important note in terms of nep anatomy 101: unlike venus fly traps or sundews, Nepenthes are passive traps and don’t move or curl up or anything, just sit and watch it all unfold). their range has china and korea on the northern edge, the tip of australia on the southern edge, and most of indonesia, the philippines, and most associated landmasses encompassed between. there are a couple outliers, but for the most part these are jungle plants with a vining growth form that weaves through trees and just….eats.

now, putting aside the fact that they’re carnivorous, one of the biggest points of Nepenthes is their diversity as a family. if anyone out there remembers the term ‘adaptive radiation’ from an intro bio class, Nepenthes is THE family of adaptive radiation. in addition to common species that grow everywhere in their range, these lads can be so specialized that there are species you can only find on single specific ridges on single specific mountains on single specific islands; as you can imagine, this makes them especially vulnerable to climate change, habitat destruction, and poachers.

the most obvious point of diversity here is the pitcher traps themselves: there are hundreds of different pitcher morphologies, ranging from special peristome adaptations to bizzare patterns and colorations to the addition of fang-like structures and symbiosis with bats, ants, and rodents. the list goes on. these lads are so specialized it’s unbelievable. one might think that, in terms of figuring out how these different species are related to each other, that it would be pretty obvious, since everything is so distinctive.

but there is a problem.

they fuck.

Nepenthes as a family is established to be one of the oldest carnivorous plant families, but the 200+ species identified over the years are suspected to be the result of very recent (in evolutionary time) modern radiation. one of the most common definitions of what a ‘species’ is that i see circulated is the idea that something is a species when it can no longer breed with another species, but it’s important to realize that this is one definition of what a ‘species’ is. in the case of Nepenthes, the knowledge that a bunch of scientists have decided they are different does not stop them.

it was hoped, with the advent of DNA testing, that maybe we would be able to assemble a semi-full map of how all these species relate to one another and how they came to be (a phylogenetic tree), but as it turns out the lads fuck so much between themselves and other Nepenthes species that figuring out how they became the species they became, even with DNA, is extremely difficult. ‘breeding complexes’ not too different than what i wrote about in the fern sex triangle post a while back are a very nepenthes-esque thing to have happen.

a quote from the paper:

“These uncertainties are not unique to Nepenthes but various factors make them important in this group: the frequency of natural hybrids and apparent lack of intrinsic reproductive barriers between taxa, the extent of intraspecific morphological variation and the reliance by taxonomists on the pitchers.”

in short, these plants have no control. they are not practicing safe sex. they are living lavishly in their own tropical jungle paradise with as much hedonism as a plant can muster as botanists try to connect how one pitcher might be the evolutionary origin of another while somehow all the pitchers are either functionally the same or radically different.

which brings us to this study. when people compare DNA, they’re rarely comparing the entire genome (although that can be done), but rather they identify a set of consistently mutable genes that are present across an entire subsection of life, and look at just those genes at just their locations on various chromosomes. instead of trying to find a couple genes fit to compare plants across the Nepenthes genus, as past studies did, this study took and applied a set of DNA probes developed previously to compare 353 genes present across the entire subkingdom of flowering plants.

as you can imagine, this provides a significantly larger set of data to work with. sure, it’s not perfect and this take will need more research to confirm (basing the entire Nepenthes phylogenetic tree off of a single study is a dangerous game, especially when things are so saucy in the forest), but it’s significantly better than the results past Nepenthes phylogenetic analyses generated, where researchers were able to see some general outlines and attempted to sort the genus into a few groups, but were ultimately unable to see where species themselves split and what their relations to each other were (you know, because of all the sex).

so. this paper:

-obtained samples from 151 different Nepenthes species from different collectors, herbariums, and conservatories. for those familiar with Nepenthes as a hobby, Andreas Wistuba might ring a bell; he contributed some samples from his plants to this study. otherwise, the KEW botanical gardens is more ubiquitously recognized donor.

-for more common species, more samples were taken from different places to account for different populations.

-another quote from the paper that i think is interesting on multiple levels: “We also include two unpublished species, N. sp. Anipahan and N. sp. taminii. The former, from Palawan, is discussed by McPherson (2011) and may be a synonym of N. leonardoi. The latter is an undescribed species from Sumatra that has been circulating amongst Nepenthes growers and resembles N. rhombicaulis but is perhaps distinguished by its leaves. Also sampled here are N. echinostoma Hook. f., a commonly collected plant usually considered a variant of N. mirabilis, and a sample we liken to N. angustifolia Mast., a species usually considered synonymous with N. gracilis.”

i mentioned earlier that previous molecular analyses done by other people were able to see a general outline but weren’t able to see anything more distinct; the results of this paper for the most part confirm these general outlines, which means that if nothing else we have strong support for the relationship the entire Nepenthes family has to other, more closely related plant families, which the paper resolves in this tree:

note that the above tree describes the family’s relation to various other families, followed by ‘Nepenthes clade 1′ and ‘Nepenthes clade 2′. these two clades contain most of the Nepenthes genus sampled; the six species shown in red, according to the results, are considered sister species to the entire rest of the genus, separate from those two clades.

now, what personally gets me the most excited here is the plant they confirmed as being the sister species to that subsection of sister species, effectively making it the outgroup to like, literally everything else: Nepenthes pervillei, from the republic of seychelles.

yeah. you know back at the beginning of this response when i said there were some exceptions to the Nepenthes habitat range? this would be one of those exceptions. the republic of seychelles is off the coast of africa, closer to madagascar than indonesia. to be fair, there are also Nepenthes along the eastern coast of madagascar, but because Nepenthes is so strongly geographically coordinated (this paper goes on to describe clades literally just named after the countries they’re in) this is pretty goddamn cool. this species got cut off in the middle of the ocean and now looks…….like a Nepenthes, but just off enough to be kind of weird (the biggest thing i realized just…staring at pictures of it is that it doesn’t seem to have wings down the front, which to be fair isn’t required of neps but makes it look super naked as a result). forbidden uncanny valley Nepenthes cast from the fuck zone. i love it.

the other main outgroup species (the sister species to all the ‘typical’ asian species, specifically, aka clades 1 and 2) they identified was Nepenthes danseri, which is native to waigeo island in indonesia (that’s in the fuck zone, for those keeping score at home) and, i would argue, has the same kind of thin-peristomed, simple-ribbed kind of look to it that pervillei has, but it definitely looks more traditionally Nepenthes-like.

now, with that, we really get into the meat of their results here. this is the full phylogenetic tree with all tested species laid out according to their results:

i….have no idea if tumblr will let you zoom in on this pic so im just gonna write down some notes.

the color-coded names on the tree to the right match their respective habitats down in the map on the bottom left, which is neat, but it’s also interesting to see how some of these species have apparently been fucking between islands. i know this is gonna be low-res but look at this swath at the top, some of what they’ve identified as being ‘clade 1′ (mostly common, widespread lowland species):

- man………. i mean, first of all i wanna point out the lone bicalcarata branches at the top #representing, having somehow maintained their chastity despite being the sexiest of the Nepenthes.

- hookeriana being the outgroup for ampullaria seems to fit well by adorable chubbiness factor alone.

- one thing that seems weird but not totally out of character is that halfway down in yellow we see mirabilis in multiple populations in yellow, then down from there a little ways we see different mirabilis populations in green and purple and red, all but N. echinostoma and N. orbiculate, which are both outgroups. i knew it was a common species, but for some reason i wasn’t expecting it to be like………that (there’s an entire second section of them in red just below where this screenshot cuts off). like, good for them.

going down the main tree, we get into clade 2, the more specialized highland species, which are always very exciting.

there’s my personal favorite, N. villosa:

not surprised at N. edwardsiana’s relation, because how else would you be able to achieve such absolutely enormous teeth, but N. macrophylla surprises me. it’s got good teeth, but both edwardsiana and villosa are like, TEETH, you know? i guess it makes sense that it split from villosa, though.

moving from that, VERY glad that the littlest known lad, N. argentii, made it on here. i know i’ve talked about argentii on this blog before, as the Nepenthes species that was so tiny the paper describing it’s discovery warned that population counts could be skewed by the plants ‘hiding under bushes’. their tinyness, which kills me every time i look at an image of them, is somehow weird in terms of being related to N. graciliflora, which is…..pretty normal sized. same with N. armin. makes me wonder how the hell they got so tiny.

of course we can’t leave out the group with the largest currently known species, N. attenboroughii. the hilarity of the smallest and largest Nepenthes species being a single clade apart, if not very distantly diversified down their respective evolutionary lines, is not lost on me.

N. palawanensis is a chonker, but i gotta say i wasn’t expecting it to be the sister species to the one and only megachonker, the plant literally famous for its sheer chonk. imagine being that overshadowed by your sibling.

on a more general note– the paper noted this, too –it’s interesting to see how the lowland species seem to be happier about jumping islands and being promiscuous than the highland species, which seem to clump together by location. i guess it’s not surprising, knowing how specialized some of these highland species can be; villosa, for example, is native to a single side of a single mountain, and is positioned so that the populations are hit by cool wind coming up from the sea. still, lowland species need hot and humid environments, and can be just as picky. it’s gotta be a matter of isolation.

anyway, there’s probably more i could talk about here but…man there’s a lot of data. the paper goes in-depth with how they constructed the more problematic branches, and trouble they had with some over others, confirming that we shouldn’t take this phylogenetic tree as 100% correct; things will almost certainly change or become clearer as more research is done, and phylogenetic trees in particular are known for being constructed and reconstructed time and time again.

still though, it’s like…to see these relationships at this resolution for the first time is just really fucking cool, man. this isn’t even all the species. i remember i went to a carnivorous plant conference two years ago now, and there was a lecture by researchers attempting to untangle the phylogeny of Nepenthes and coming up short aside from a low-resolution tree of some of the more major species and the relation of Nepenthes to other families, their science blocked by the sheer feral chadness on display in the tropical jungles encompassing the land between china and australia. like, i really just want to take a moment, as an end note, to appreciate that these plants fucked so much in the past couple million years that it took multiple major advancements in technology and the examination of hundreds of genes just to get an approximate look at the phylogeny. like, that’s an Isoetes level power move and im not over it

#Anonymous #long post #me reading a new nepenthes paper: *sight narrows into a tunnel* *writes for two hours*#nepenthes #carnivorous plants #asks #plont asks

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unseelie-bitch · 4 years ago

Text

Season 1 Episode 6: A Fanatic Heart [Part Two]

I mean Fara is doing her best to be a good leader but I'm still pretty convinced she's going to die

FakeMusa is doing her best and I support her

Actually fuck OFF Terra you have NO RIGHT to ask that of her, much less EXPECT it

Also just a lil bit of FakeMusa analysis, she is not only feeling her boyfriend dying, but also all of the pain and terror and regret and anger of everyone else in that room. Of fucking COURSE she's going to get overwhelmed

Also also imma say she like, felt the death of her parents or something because that's been a building subplot all series

"He's in pain" ...so you want FakeMusa to feel it instead. Wow real good friendship there, Terra

Also it's bad enough that Terra's asking this, but for her dad, a TEACHER, to ask this of a first year who hasn't even learnt that technique yet, is fucking ridiculous

Called that

Well they kept the Musa Dead Mum plot... and now I'm upset

Don't FUCKING touch her Terra. People shouldn't have to expose their trauma to be allowed to say no - FakeMusa needs a hug but NOT from you. You want to talk about consent issues? Because this whole subplot is a big fucking red flag.

The one thing Fate got right - which I am certain wasn't intentional - is the neurodivergent coding of Musa. Like, the headphones to block out painful or too much stimuli is actually really well done (hence why I think it was an accident)

Sorry was Terra actually unbarricading the door? Sacrifice the many for the few is it, Terra?

Oh shit it JUST wants Bloom

Fara Bloom literally TOLD you they were just after her

I'm actually so mad that FakeMusa is negotiating her personal boundaries due to an adult and her supposed friend bullying a child

Oh Bloom's floating. Okay. We don't have the budget for wings but the fire fairy can float for no apparent reason

FUCK OFF SHE ACTUALLY JUST GOT FIRE WINGS FUCK OFF THAT'S ACTUALLY WORSE THAN NO ONE GETTING THEM OH MY GOD AT LEAST STICK TO YOU OWN SHITTY WRITING RULES

Why are some of them super easy to kill and others take like... a whole thing

Oh shit she can turn them back into people. Right okay, feel like that should have come up sooner

Dowling is such a good mother and I'm so afraid she's going to die. There's way too much time left for nothing else to happen and Rosalind is just rocking about

FARA LOOKS PROUD AND SHOCKED BY HERSELF OH NO I'M SCARED

Sorry Terra that crossed a line. I actively hate you.

Oh Beatrix just fully lied about being an orphan, she has a dad

Oh no he's not her bio dad

So Riven and Dane are villains with Roz now. Right

"Cooler?! I love Tinkerbell!" "Of course you do" good friend banter but I despise Terra now so can someone else have banter with Stella instead?

Aisha you didn't even introduce yourself how would Bloom's parents know who's talking to them

"Bloom transformed" no she fucking didn't she got shitty fire wings that have made me SO ANGRY. That's not a transformation it DOESN'T COUNT

None of you are considering the possibility that the whole "Blood witches" thing was a lie? No? Eveyone just tells the truth all the time always, even Rosalind?? Right okay. I hate this bullshit show

Also you canNOT just throw in a term like "blood witches" in the last fucking episode. That's a fucking joke Weed Boy

Sky is having Sad Boy Hours

Ooh a Sad Boy montage

See Bloom's going to talk with Dowling and I feel like it's going to go badly because NO ONE IS LOOKING FOR ROSALIND

Bloom is finally being open and honest with Dowling and accepting her as a mother figure so she's DEFINATELY going to die. These death flags are waving in my fucking face

BLOOM ASKING FOR A HUG AND FARA'S LITTLE FACE OH MY GOD I'M SCREAMING THIS IS SO SAD AND CUTE

Also from Fara's face: when was the last time she got a hug oh my god

AWWW THIS IS SO SOFT AND SAD

FARA IS FUCKING CRYING OH MY GODDD

That's just not what a figurehead is. You wanted to becime a symbol. There's a rather large and important difference

THE REASON FARA'S UPSET IS BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BE SO UNAPPROCHABLE THAT BLOOM HAD TO ASK FOR A HUG SO UNCERTAINLY OH MY GOD

I'm so angry that she's getting this development now. In the last 20 fucking minutes of the season

SHE BROUGHT THE WHOLE SQUAD BACK HOME LMAO MIKE'S FACE

Stella is so awkward and cute I love her why didn't we get HER FROM THE BEGGINNING

Also if this important conversation happens off screen I will feel robbed

And it's happened off screen. That is bull-fucking-shit

Sad montage of their baby... yikes

Oh the mother is leaving. #NotMyVanessa

This montage is bullshit I wanted a CONVERSATION

Okay but the Winx actually acting like friends is cute

So Riven and Dane went missing the night the school was attacked and no one's seen them and you just... aren't worried about these literal children? What kind of bitch-ass school...

Oh the Solarian army has FINALLY arrived

Stella ain't here lads

Oh fuck OFF Queen Nightlight

You're arresting Silva??

Sorry there is literally NO fucking way Sky's dad is alive. I mean he clearly is and is clearly Beatrix's dad but that makes no sense. Shit writing at it's shittest

Stella's mum is CLEARLY involved in this shady shit

Also what kind of justice system...?

Hello there Bitchboy King

Fara vibing with the freshly burried corpses

Okay Rosalind is here and I'm scared for Fara's safety

Also apparently no one was aware the Burned Ones used to be people. I had assumed that was common knowledge but apparently that was supposed to be a secret reveal at the end that I worked out... so long ago. Come on lads

Also also I'm so scared because Sword Dad is being arrested and now Fara is alone with Rosalind and I feel like Fara is going to get murdered and replaced by Rosalind while Sword Dad is replaced by Sky's Dad

Oh Rosalind knew about the Burned Ones being people

Rosalind is a really good villain but she scares me and also her actress is still shit

The dragonfire is now the "Dragon Flame" and created the Burned Ones. I just. I'm so out of fucks to give

And Bloom has it too. Shook

Of course she risked kids to test Bloom - have you MET this woman she's shady as fuck

Dowling is talking about how she finally saw the light when she stepped out of Rosalind's shadow and clearly this a whole "I've escaped your abuse" thing and I'm so happy for her. And also terrified because she's definately about to die

If I leave this on pause Fara doesn't have to get murdered

And Queen Exposed Wire is in fact a part of the coverup. Shocked

I like that Rosalind is explaining everything. I genuinely do appriciate a good villain monologue

FARA DON'T GET AGGRESSIVE WITH HER SHE'S GOING TO KILL YOU STOP I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE

DON'T WALK AWAY FROM HER OH MY GOD YOU THREATENED HER THEN TURNED YOUR BACK SHE CAN AND WILL KILL YOU FARA WHY DO YOU THINK SHE'S ABOVE THIS

I'm so fucking upset. She just. Snapped her neck. Lifted her up and murdered her. I'm actually on the verge of tears it was so brutal. I cannot believe they made me care about Fara in the last fucking episode only to KILL HER OFF

Did she just speed-rot Fara's body?? I'm so upset. I'm so fucking upset

And now all the Winx who were actually happy and getting along are coming back to this shitshow

Brian Young is a fucking criminal. Thank fuck that's over

#fate spoilers #fate watch #fate: the winx saga

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larryfanficwriter98 · 4 years ago

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Chapter One

Harry was lonely, ever since his first album kicked off so successfully he had learned that people are assholes and liked to use people for fame. He has also learned he couldn't do casual hookups. He could never allow himself to go the whole way no matter who it was with or how drunk he tried to get himself just so he wasn't a 21-year-old virgin. He wanted to date. He wanted to be in love.

Which was how, after drinking an entire bottle of wine by himself in his hotel room, he found himself on Anonymous, a discreet dating app that matched people based on sexual orientation, commitment level, and interests. No pictures, no personal information except your name and age. He was debating on it, whether or not to do it, or to delete the app when he felt the sudden urge to just do it and get it over with.

He started with the first name box and typed Harold, moving on to the last name box he typed in Stones. He then filled out his other information such as his age, 21. The next step was his likes and dislikes which was pretty easy. Afterward, he made sure his sexual orientation was marked gay and made an age group he was comfortable with then made his profile public.

He went to his bio and after a bit of thinking just decided on a quick sentence to sum it up, Looking for someone to come home to after traveling. With that, he closed the app and put his phone on the charger then turned over and went to sleep knowing it could take up to 24-48 hours for the app to start matching you.

Louis walked into the townhouse he shared with Zayn, Liam, and Niall after dismissing the horrible date in his car. He knew he should have driven himself, but he and the guy had been talking for two weeks, so he figured it would be fine. It wasn't fine. Louis likes sex, he was always having sex back in uni, but recently he hasn't been happy with just a quickie. He was ready to start settling down and making plans about the future and was in it for the long haul now. Apparently no one else near his age was at that point. He was 23, 24 at the end of the year, two of his best friends were getting married to each other in eight months.

"How was the date Tommo?" Niall asked turning back to look at him from the sectional.

"He was in love."

"That fast?"

"I understand some people fall in love quickly and all, but I mean come on. We've been messaging each other for two weeks." Louis pushed himself off the door he had been leaning on and moved to sit on the sectional sofa, "what are you watching?"

"No idea." Louis snorted reaching for the bowl of popcorn Niall was munching on, grabbing a fistful of it and putting a piece into his mouth.

"You know I've been on the new app called Anonymous. Its actually pretty cool, you just give it your interests, likes and dislikes, hobbies, age, name, and commitment level. No pictures, no personal information. Just your personality and what you like. I've been talking to this girl on there and we actually click really well." Niall told him, Louis scrunched his face up

"That sounds risky."

"Nope. Everyone is verified. A matcher will contact you and ask you questions about yourself and make sure you are real and if a person has a verified check by their profile that means they've been checked over. After that, you start getting matched to five people and you can decide if you're into talking to them. If not just press decline and if you are press accept. You're only able to talk to three people at once so you have to be specific."

"Sounds like a lot of work."

"Says the guy who is on his fourth dating app." Louis paused as his thumb clicked on the dating apps folder on his phone showing he actually had six installed, "oh sixth dating app, my bad. Did you really download Grindr?"

"No." Louis said as he uninstalled said app without looking at Niall as he cracked up beside him. "I'm going to bed, have work in the morning. Night."

"Night Grindr boy." Louis sent his laughing mate a glare before hurrying up the stairs to his bedroom.

If he just happened to go to the app store and install Anonymous...well that was his business and Niall will never find out. Louis laid in bed going through the somewhat familiar steps by now. The only difference was that you had to list more than ten likes and dislikes and more than five hobbies you do or would like to do. Nothing like the other dating apps which was completely optional and mostly ignored. After his profile was completed he closed the app and went to sleep.

Three days later Louis was on his break when he got a notification from Anonymous that he was matched to five potential interests. He had hesitated but clicked on the app then click on the matches section reading the first match.

Name: Dan Stevens Age: 26

And that was when it went downhill, the guy was heavy metal punk and Louis was not into that do he declined it. The next three weren't that much better, but the last one for the day seemed alright.

Name: Joshua Wilder

Age: 22

His hobbies were a bit more athletic than Louis was okay with, but that could be compromised on. His commitment however was "something casual/nonexclusive" which Louis was definitely not okay with. However, he figured everything starts causal in a way so he accepted it getting a popup his next potential matches will be ready within 12-24 hours. He had to wait to see if Joshua would match with him before he could send a message so he locked his phone and finished his lunch.

Harry hasn't been having any good luck with the app, he had completed all of the requirements for verification but had declined nearly every match so far. He was too nervous to actually go through with it and the few he had accepted and accepted him when he told them he was demi-sexual and wouldn't be having sex anytime soon stopped talking to him and Harry got notified the match declined him. It was a week after the making of the profile, Harry was feeling stupid for doing it when he got notified of his daily matches. Sighing heavily he clicked on the notification and looked through them.

Name: David Brockman

DECLINED

Name: Franklin Bottons

DECLINED

Name: Stewart Wesley

DECLINED

Name: Kyler Jennsons

DECLINED

Name: Louis Tomlinson

Age: 23

Commitment Level: Committed/Looking For Someone To Marry

Hobbies: Skiing, Surfing, Writing, Reading, Singing, Playing Guitar, Playing Footie

Interests: Skiing, Surfing, Writing, Reading, Singing, Playing Guitar, Football, Traveling, Watching Movies, Musicals

Dislikes: Hiking, Cats, Cycling, Running, Yoga, Avocados, Cooking, Horror Films, The Vegan Craze, Trendy Shit

The last few things threw him off a bit, but Harry shrugged and accepted him. He was the only one that was lining up with his interests and if he turns out to be just another one around for a bed partner Harry would delete the app and pretend it never happened.

Louis got the notification that he had a new match while he was playing fifa with the lads. He ignored it in favor of scoring a goal then he grabbed his phone and opened the app.

Name: Harold Stones

Age: 21

Hobbies: Singing, Dancing, Baking, Cooking, Travelling, Reading

Interests: Singing, Dancing, Baking, Cooking, Travelling, Reading Swimming, Surfing, Skiing, Snowboarding, Canoeing, Musicals, Films, Photography, Writing, Playing Guitar, Volunteering

Dislikes: Horror Films, Spiders, Mountain Climbing, Skydiving, Archery, Paragliding, Mountain Bungee Jump, Volcano Boarding, Heights, Roller-coasters

Louis remembered why he accepted him, he had drunk a lot of beer one night and thought, "if this guy doesn't like volcano boarding that means he actually did it and he had to ask him why" and so he accepted him. The guy seemed like fun and they had a lot of similar interests so he messaged him.

Why volcano boarding?

Louis honestly wanted to know who in their right mind surfed a volcano slope. He locked his phone, tossed it to the side, and continued the game.

"Yellow card! Foul! You tripped me! Louis shouted looking between Zayn and the game.

"I admit to nothing." Zayn said as he scored a goal

"I saw it mate don't worry." Niall said as he stole the ball from Liam, "take that."

"That was low." Liam said, "I didn't even do anything."

"No, but your fiance did." Louis said

"HE SHOOTS HE SCORES!" Niall shouted as Louis scored the winning goal of the match

"Night lads." Louis grabbed his phone and headed upstairs to his room putting his phone on the charger before he took a shower for the night.

#larry fanfiction #larry stylinson #new story #work in progress

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istheresomebodywhocanimagine · 5 years ago

Text

New York Minute PT. 1

anonymous said: I saw you say your requests are open (but your bio doesn’t say they are so I totally understand if I misunderstood and I apologize). I was wondering if you could do a ben hardy imagine where the reader and he aren’t together but he gets jealous about one of the other boys (and realizes his feelings) and the rest is up to you ;) thank you! and anonymous said: Ooh could you do an age gap thing with either roger or ben of like roger being in the early 1980s and reader/oc being in their early 20s and Ben being the age he is now with someone in their early 20s??

(a/n: this will be a multi-part series!!!! i just had too many ideas for these requests and had to go crazy - sorry i’ve been so inactive lately yall i promise i’ll try to post more now that the summer is winding down. i should have part two out in the next week or so??? anyways this one’s a thickie tbh (like.... almost 10k) so buckle up!!!)

"Ben's moving here? He that blond bitch in all your posts?" You were draped across Joe's couch, feet resting on his left thigh as you popped another berry into your mouth, humming happily as you chewed. Joe's eyes were slightly glazed over, still focused on the TV that was playing some baseball game as you studied his face, watching the way his tongue darted out to wet his lower lip before he afforded you a quick glance. "Yeah. Real 'lad' type, Gwilym's words. Kid's a textbook definition of a ladies man when he wants to be." "Kid? How old is he?" you asked curiously, quirking an eyebrow at your rather indisposed neighbor. His fingers tapped at the armrest to his right, and you scowled a bit at his apparent disinterest in your questions. He was always a baseball guy, but you couldn't believe how distracted he could become by a single game. You were less than a couple feet away, and it was like you were speaking into the void. "I thought he was like 30."

"28," Joe corrected, still not taking his eyes off of the TV. You huffed at that. 28 was still a good half a decade older than you, and here Joe was calling him a kid. "If he's a kid, then I'm baby." "What? What does that.... why do you always say that?" he asked, finally looking at you with a questioning look that seemed more pained than anything else. "I'm baby? What does that mean?" "It means.... I don't know how to explain it, Joey, I'm baby!" you exclaimed, throwing up your arms in defeat before letting them fall back down limply. "Anyways, you said he's a ladies man? Is he gonna put the moves on me?" Joe snorted at that, returning his gaze to the TV as you sat the plate back on the coffee table, waiting patiently for his answer. "Maybe. Like I said, he's a ladies man when he wants to be." "Wants to be? What's that supposed to mean?" you asked, suddenly wanting to clarify the discrepancy. Sitting up a bit, you pulled your feet off his lap and instead hugged your knees to your chest, staring across the couch at Joe, who was slightly slack-jawed and way too interested in the current play to answer. Clearing your throat, you spoke louder, commanding his attention. "Joe!" "Huh?" he asked, turning his head slowly over to you and following with his eyes a few moments later. Slowly, recognition registered on his face and he pulled his jaw closed, swallowing hard before he answered. "I mean he's a smooth talker, but he also gets all messy when he fumbles." "You get messy when you fumble during flirting," you pointed out, and Joe furrowed his eyebrows before sneering a bit, mocking your words under his breath. "You do! Remember that blonde at Feinstein's-" "Yes! I remember the blonde at 54 Below, okay? Let it go," he rushed out all in one go, his face a bit red as he closed his eyes and tried to push his memory of the wine-soaked night to the back of his mind. "And for the record, she did end up coming back to my apartment later." "I'm just saying." Holding your hands up in surrender for a moment, you made a show of letting it go before hugging your legs again, hiding your amused smile behind your knee. Joe's glare was almost burning, his narrowed eyes only making your smile harder to hide. It had been over two years since you moved in next to this dumbass, and you still hadn't learned a single thing about controlling your facial expressions from a well-seasoned actor like him. Finally, Joe sighed and shook his head, deciding to pick his battles wisely. "Anyways, he'll be here next week. Are you free Thursday? We're going out with Chace." "Chace?" you repeated, humming nervously before shaking your head. "No go. Chace still probably thinks I'm a moron from the time I thought he was you on the balcony so I came out and did jumper cables on his side and found out - surprise, surprise - it was not you." "That was like, two years ago. How do you still even remember that?" he laughed, turning his attention back to the screen. "I can't even remember what I ate for breakfast yesterday. Chace probably forgot all about it." "It was mortifying, Joe! Imagine some random chick just walking out on your friend's balcony and jabbing your sides with the force of a great typhoon." Pursing his lips, he considered it for a moment before grimacing. "Yeah, no, that's pretty fucking weird." It fell silent, Joe focusing on the game while you watched him once again, back to square one. Finally, you spoke to cut off the silence, wanting to make one last comment before you let him get too invested. "Ben's kinda cute. Is he single?" "Dunno," Joe answered noncommittally, making you frown as you stretched your legs out again, intentionally kicking his thigh lightly. "Ow!" Scowling at you, he reached out to smack your foot away before he crossed his arms, snuggling more into his armrest and fighting back a laugh. "I think he is. Know he has that bee dating app. Buzz....le. Bumblebee?" "Bumble," you snickered, nudging his leg again teasingly and making him fake scowl a bit more before he laughed once at himself, shielding his face from your gaze with one hand. "Stop, I know I'm a terrible millennial! I've got to start keeping up with this shit." "As a fellow millennial - you right."

---

"First night out as an American citizen! How was it, bud?" "Dual citizen, thank you! You'd think as a dual citizen, you'd know what the hell to say," Ben corrected, his cheeks a deep red from the liquor coursing through his veins and muddling his thoughts. Closing his eyes for a moment, he leaned against the wall next to Joe's door as Joe fished through his pockets, grabbing the key chain with the worn-down Yankees mini-bat and picking out the key that read 'APT' on some painter's tape. You'd dubbed it so once Joe had forgotten which key it was for the fortieth time when you came over to help him patch a hole left in the wall by the previous renter. Ben just assumed the label was Joe's handiwork. It looked dorky enough. Sliding the key into the lock, he easily turned it and swung open the door a little too drunkenly, leading his equally-as-drunk friend into the living room. "You're American when you're here, okay? I'm requiring it by law, starting.... now!" Ben laughed, trudging his way into the apartment before heading down the hallway towards the bathroom and rubbing the side of his face, the skin hot to the touch. "M'not sure it works like that, but whatever. I gotta take a leak." Before Joe could yell out a half-assed reply after him, Ben had already disappeared into the room down the hall and to the left, only re-emerging minutes later and wiping his still-damp hands on his jeans while sending Joe a look that said everything about the glaringly empty towel ring, even without even saying a word. "Sorry! Laundry day, dude... I gotta piss." "I'm gonna have a smoke, then," Ben mumbled as Joe passed him in the hallway, transferring a slightly bent cigarette from the crumpled package in his pocket to his mouth as he made his way to the sliding doors that led out to Joe's balcony. The lock refused to budge at first, but it slowly slid out of place with a bit of extra effort from Ben and clicked up into an unlocked position before he moved to tug the door open. The door slid open a lot easier than the lock did, smoothly gliding over and letting in the pleasant, if a bit warm midnight breeze on the late spring day. It smelled vaguely of rain, and Ben wondered if it was going to storm later, a sardonic chuckle leaving his lips as he eyed the dark clouds hovering over the harbor. The moon peeked just under the bottom of one, teasing the city with a light that wouldn't last long. "Get a place in America to escape the rain and end up in a thunderstorm. Alright," he remarked to himself, flicking the lighter a few times before raising it to the cigarette end and lighting it. He inhaled slowly as he did so, feeling the familiar light burn of the tar smoke filling his lungs - it didn't taste as well as it once did, but it filled a space for the time being, and distracted him enough. In fact, it distracted him so well that he went on smoking for a good minute or so before he realized that there was another human being on the extended balcony with him. Their arm was dangling over the edge of the reclining lawn chair, which was conveniently placed next to a crate that featured a phone on a wireless charger and a half-drank bottle of Apothic Crush in a cheap wine chiller. Just a single bottle, sans a glass, a red that looked as though it tasted of relatively inexpensive inebriation and drunk texts to your best friend about how you were crying over Keanu Reeves. It was you, though he obviously wouldn't know that. Ben's usually warm green eyes widened in fear as he spotted your unfamiliar figure lazily draped over the fully reclined chair, your mouth hanging open slightly as you dozed away peacefully just out of reach of the rays of moonlight. You were wearing a familiar shirt, though - one for a baseball team Ben only faintly recognized because Joe had mentioned his brother being on that team. A faded 'Mazzello' was printed on the back, the end part visible to Ben as he peered curiously over at you, trying to figure out what in the hell his plan of attack was here. He had a predicament. There was a half finished cigarette in his hand, one that couldn't go back inside with him but also one that he didn't particularly want to drop from several stories up with this many people passing by below. And he sure as hell didn't want to waste the cigarette, so stomping it out was a no-go. But there was a literal stranger on Joe's balcony, drinking what was probably his wine and wearing his shirt, and in his inebriated panic over your presence, Ben conveniently skimmed over the full view he had of the door that led into your apartment. It was a shared balcony, a nice fact that Joe could have shared with his friend before he got 5 frantic texts and a picture of sleeping you in rapid succession. Benjamin: HOLY FUCJ Benjamin: Joe, getout here right now!!! Theres a literal stranger on your balcony! Benjamin: JOE Benjamin: [picture] Benjamin: WHY IN THE BBLOODY HELL IS THERE A STRANGE WOMAN It was less than 30 seconds before Joe came stumbling out, Ben staring at him helplessly as he held the cigarette just over the railing, nodding to your side. Peeking his head around the doorway, Joe managed to keep an even expression on his face as he cleared his throat, stepping out onto the balcony between you and Ben. "Hey!" You stirred a bit at Joe's aggressive tone, your lips smacking together as you ran your tongue over them and peeked open an eye just barely, indicating you were listening. "This is like the fifth time this week, lady, stop getting drunk on my porch and using my reclining chair!" "My reclining chair," you corrected, groggily raising to a sitting position and running a hand over your hair to smooth it down before looking down at the wooden crate and smiling sleepily upon remembering the wine. "Oh yeah. Mmmmm. Forgot about that." "Pfffft. Drunks, am I right?" Joe scoffed, throwing a thumb over his shoulder at you when he turned to face Ben. His hand came to rest on his hip that jutted out with a bit of sass as Ben stared at him in complete confusion, utterly baffled at how calm and collected he was despite the apparent situation. "Who are you calling a drunk, you drunk?" you giggled quietly, letting your head fall back against the chair as you eyed the back of Joe's head with an unreadable look. Joe rolled his eyes like it was obvious, not even turning to face you as he made an exaggerated annoyed expression at Ben, then proceeded to ignore your question. "I get these all the time, dude, crazy bums just taking up my space out here." "Why do you keep acting like I'm a homeless person bumming on your shit- No, nevermind, fuck you. I'm ignoring you now," you retorted, yawning as you reached for the wine bottle and pointing to the ground between you and Joe with your free hand as you narrowed your eyes. Ben's eyes followed your direction to a line of duct tape on the concrete below, clearly meant to demarcate something, though he wasn't sure what. It was crudely placed, but seemed to have an enormous effect on Joe when he looked over his shoulder and groaned, letting his head roll back for a second before he gave the wall opposite you a withering look. "Are we seriously still fucking doing this?" Joe remarked scornfully while he turned, his hands going into his pockets, and he slumped over a bit in stature as a pout etched itself into his features. "I said I was sorry. I was asleep! Also, is that my shirt? You said you'd bring that back weeks ago." You remained silent, staring up at Joe through your lashes in an unmoved manner before taking a drink of the wine. As you returned the bottle to the chiller, your attention switched over to Ben, who was still standing there in absolutely dumbfounded astonishment. A wondrous smile made its way to your lips, and Ben felt a light blush creeping onto his already-red cheeks as he dropped the cigarette to the concrete balcony floor, stomping it out gently and trying not to shrivel underneath your delightfully bleary, sleepy gaze. It was odd, being so affected by you. Ben usually had a relatively charming, laidback personality, and he was easy to get along with, but something about you sent him into a panic as he kept eye contact for a painful second or two, the sparkle in your hazy eyes enchanting to him. Maybe it was the liquor. Yeah, definitely had to be the liquor, he decided. There was no way that this dizziness was anything but top shelf gin having a row in his digestive system. His eyes dropped to the ground, seeming hyperfocused on his own actions, but it was blatantly obvious he was avoiding eye contact now. Noting the blush, your smile grew even wider as you sat up a bit, suddenly interested in the flustered man across from you. He looked quite familiar, and you were amused that he was so unsettled and shy right now - he didn't seem to be like the type who couldn't talk in front of girls. He must have just been caught off-guard today. "You're Ben, from the Queen thingie! Ah, I'm so glad I finally get to meet you, y'all are so cute on Instagram." Climbing up from your chair, you swayed a bit at the sudden rush of blood to your extremities, reaching out to steady yourself on Joe and grinning sheepishly. Then your gaze shifted once again to your neighbor, your eyebrow cocking slightly in challenge, and Ben let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding as you mumbled, "Never puts me on his Instagram like that. You'd think after two years-" "I've told you a million times, I can't let you steal the spotlight from me!" Joe teased back, crossing the duct tape line and dropping into the chair that sat just over the boundary of it, next to your reclining chair, his hand easily snatching the wine from the chiller before he took a long swig. "And besides," he added, his arm coming up to swipe a bit of excess wine that had dribbled out of the corner of his mouth. It looked like watery bloody slipping down his chin, and he quickly wiped it away before reaching over the wipe it on your leg, much to your chagrin. But he retracted his arm before you could reach out and swat at him, instead leaving you with a mildly grumpy expression while he grinned impishly. "Ben wouldn't like sharing his primetime spot." "Ben can share. I'm low maintenance anyways, I only need, like... one feature a month. I'll even settle for just a story shout-out." "Low maintenance? Says the one who has to have Sugar In The Raw or she won't drink her coffee!" "Says the one who now steals my Sugar In The Raw because he knows it tastes better! Fuckin' leech." This dynamic was weird, Ben had decided. No explanation left him hopelessly in the dark as he watched Joe hand off the wine casually to you when you reached out for it, a wordless exchange that didn't even need to really be prompted in order to happen. It made Ben wonder if he'd somehow been ignorant of Joe having a girlfriend until just now. A very attractive girlfriend, at that, despite the mussy, sleep-wrinkled state of you and your clothes. A mouthy girlfriend that was easily out-sassing Joe - a girlfriend that slept on his balcony? This wasn't adding up. "You look confused," you hiccuped, narrowing your eyes a bit as you scrutinized the charmingly quiet blond that stood about five feet from you, still awkwardly stanced up near the railing on Joe's side. A deft observation, too, because Ben's facial expression read like a book, highlighting all of the absolutely baffling thoughts he was having. Suddenly, it clicked. "Joe, you dumbass, did you not tell him we share a balcony?" "It may have.... slipped the mind," Joe admitted, smiling sheepishly as he shrugged and tapped on the armrests of the chair he was in. "Ben, this is my neighbor. She's annoying as hell, trust me. Still holds a grudge from when I napped on her chair at least two years ago and pretended to be asleep when she came out here and yelled so I wouldn't have to move." "And he thinks I'm the bad neighbor," you giggled, rolling your eyes before stepping forward to reach out your hand and offer your name, swaying a bit from the effort. Looking at the three of you from an outsider's position, it was getting hard to tell who was the most sloshed. "It's nice to finally meet you, I've only seen his dumb videos that he sent back from England and posted on Instagram every once in a while." "Oh my god, I'm proper fucked, you both had me there for a second," Ben admitted in relief, laughing a bit as his panic ebbed away into amusement at the mild freak-out moment he'd just had. Taking your hand, he flashed an embarrassed smile and shook your hand gently, letting it go after a moment and immediately flexing his fingers a bit, noting how cold your hand had been from the wine. It was an odd sensation, one that sent a tingle down his spine upon contact, but he did his best to ignore it and put on his best smile before continuing. "It's nice to meet you too. Just glad I didn't call 999 on you." Your nose wrinkled at the discrepancy as you sat back down in your reclining chair, Joe immediately catching it and raising a finger to correct his friend. "It's 911 over here, buddy. Don't worry, you'll get used to it." "Oh yeah! Joe said you're moving over here, welcome to the States!" Laughing lightly, Ben rubbed the back of his neck slowly, then nodded in acknowledgement of your words. "Have you settled in yet, or are you still unpacking?" "Still unpacking," Ben grimaced, making you pout a bit in sympathy as you clutched the shirt that rested directly over your heart, signaling you understood his pain even in your drunken state. "But I should be done getting all my stuff unboxed by tomorrow evening - Joe said he'd be coming over to help?" He tried to speak it as a statement, but the end came out as more of a question as he side-eyed Joe, who nodded in confirmation and pointed a finger gun at him, indicating he'd be there. "Now that you're here, does that mean I'll finally see someone in Joe's apartment besides him?" you joked, Ben chuckling at how well you managed to casually roast Joe with every other word out of your mouth. Maybe the dynamic wasn't so weird after all, he figured. Maybe it was fun. "You telling me that this guy over here doesn't even bring home girls from the bar?" Ben asked curiously, nodding to Joe. He finally took the opportunity to drag a chair from the far end of the balcony over to join the two of you, accepting the wine gratefully when you held it out for him. Joe let out a humorless laugh as you burst into a fit of gleeful giggles, reaching over to smack Joe on the thigh several times in amusement. A small smile played at the corner of Joe's lips, and he glanced at you before shaking his head, his eyelids fluttering closed a bit, heavy from the alcohol. "I tried that once! I'd never seen a woman throw a full wine glass at me until that day! Genius here," he paused, pointing to you with his thumb and ignoring the ensuing peal of laughter that had you doubled over, "popped over in some underwear and a t-shirt to ask where I kept the eggs! She was making cookies! Can you believe that?" Ben shifted his gaze over to you for confirmation and found you to still be doubled over in silent laughter, shoulders shaking with the effort of holding it in. A wide grin spread across Ben's face, and he looked back to find Joe trying to look annoyed, but failing miserably and bursting into laughter with you. "What was her name again?" you asked between peals of laughter, wiping at your watery eyes as Joe tried to stifle his laughter, resting his head on his hand and sighing. "It was Tori, I think," he replied, shaking his head and smiling a bit. "Art history major. You fucked that one up for me majorly." "Well, you got me back the next week anyways," you finally got out when your laughter had subsided, a grin still quirking at the corner of your lips as you looked at Ben and continued. "Knew I had a Tinder date one night and literally waited in my living room in boxers for hours until we got back!" "Joe, that's almost cruel," Ben scolded jokingly, reaching over and giving Joe a gentle punch on the arm before handing the wine back to you. "You're telling me," you mused, a sly smile gracing your lips as you looked from Joe to Ben, your gaze lingering a bit on the blonde. Ben met the stare evenly, his face a lot more level than he felt as you rose from your chair, brushing a hand down your torso to smooth out the frumpy shirt before walking over to the railing and leaning forward against it. Your stomach pressed into the cool metal through the thin Mazzello shirt that denied you any curves, giving you a boxy frame only marginally saved by the corner of the shirt that had got caught in the waistband of your shorts. "Well, feel like I've overstayed my welcome, so I'll probably head in for the night," you stated, looking out to the moon that was slowly disappearing over the harbor before you turned to face the two of them, giving them a sleepy smile. "No, stay out here with us," Joe complained, patting the reclining chair, but you were already making your way past the chair, taking another drink of the wine. "I want you to bond with Ben, he'll be over here a lot now that he's in NYC." "I will? Jake Gyllenhaal lives here too, is he over here all the time because of that?" Ben teased, looking up at you with a dopey grin when you let out a single laugh. Stopping just behind the chair, you raised an impressed eyebrow at him while Joe studied the two of you with a mildly annoyed glare. He didn't appreciate being teamed up on, but he had to appreciate the two of you getting along on your first meeting. You, however, were completely ignorant to your neighbor's pointed looks as you kept eye contact with Ben, noting that he had gorgeous green eyes. "I like this guy. Bring him around again when I'm not sloshed, yeah?" Joe nodded at that, and you began to walk towards your door, yawning. "I've got a hot date tonight, so don't wait up for me, Joey." "God, I told you not to call me that," Joe groaned, but a boyish grin remained on his face as he watched you saunter back over to your door, wine in hand. "And who's the guy? Shouldn't have told me, now I might have to come crash your party." "His name is Mattress, Matt for short. We sleep with each other a lot... Nice meeting you, Ben." Swirling the bottle around a few times, you wiggled your eyebrows at the two men before retreating to the sound of Joe's exaggerated groaning and Ben's hapless attempts at reciprocation of your pleasantries, your door sliding shut just before you drew the curtains. That left the duo alone on the balcony, the faint smell of smoke still lingering in the space around them as Joe sighed a bit, grinning and shaking his head. Ben, on the other hand, was still reeling from the whiplash that the last few moments had given him, and it must have clearly registered on his face, because Joe laughed a bit as he stood, brushing off his pants. "Sorry I didn't warn you beforehand. Didn't think she'd be out here getting wine drunk. That's Y/N for you, though." A shrug coupled with his last observation made Ben chuckle, cocking his head slightly and curiously gazing over at your door before shaking his head. Following in a similar fashion to Joe, Ben rose to stand again, instinctively reaching for a comfort cigarette and placing it between his lips before offering a weak smile in return, fishing for the lighter while he spoke. "Wasted my first one." Inhaling slowly, the end of the cigarette finally lit and Ben held the smoke in for a moment before leaning over the railing, looking around as he exhaled. When he'd taken in a proper amount of the dwindling NYC night, he finally returned his attention to Joe, the cigarette resting delicately between two fingers as his hands came to rest on the railing he leaned back against. "Y/N, you said, yeah? Seems alright... you been neighbors for long?" "A couple years now, actually. Met her about the same way you just did! She's cool, though," Joe confirmed, coming over to look over the balcony right next to Ben, one foot on either side of the duct tape line that divided the floor. It was scuffed, like it'd been there a while, and that made the stories slowly check out in Ben's brain while he looked over to Joe, a sly smile slowly creeping onto his face. "She's kinda fit, yeah?" Joe hung his head and let his eyes close for a moment, laughing at Ben's apt remark before nodding a bit. "But definitely seems a bit mean. Got a bite to her all the time?" "She's got her weak moments like everyone else! But yeah, she's definitely quick with the comebacks. I think I'm better for it, honestly, keeps me in check. Always brushing up on my wit, you know? Kids these days always keeping me on my toes." Reaching up to tap on his temple, he only had a moment to grimace before his phone was ringing, prompting him to pull it out of his pocket and answer it as Ben watched. "Hey, Seb... No, I didn't grab your wallet from the bar. Did you leave it there?" As Ben watched his friend retreat back into his own sliding door, his thick blond eyebrows furrowed in mild confusion. Kids these days? She couldn't be a day under 25, as clever as she was. Wait, that didn't even make sense. Cleverness is not an indicator- "Hey!" Ben jumped at the sound of your voice, whirling around to meet your accusatory stare as he looked on helplessly. You looked mad, and he couldn't even begin to think why. The cigarette, maybe, but you hadn't even flinched about it earlier. Was he too quiet? "Do you want the rest of this wine?" you asked, grinning once you'd let him suffer enough, and Ben let out a sigh of relief as he leaned forward on the railing again, pressing a hand to his forehead. "Christ, you scared me again!" Taking a deep breath, he laughed once before shaking his head, taking another drag and turning to face you. "No thank you, though. If I drink any more tonight, my old man body will punish me tomorrow." "Old man body?" you repeated, quirking an eyebrow in disbelief as you looked him up and down for a moment. "Uh huh... Good night, then." You shut the door before he could get the chance to reply, so he just gave a half-hearted wave before he widened his eyes, trying to restore his heart to a regular beating pace. "Jesus Christ on a cross," he mumbled, rubbing his hand over his face for a moment and messing up his eyebrows even more before he took another drag as he stared out at the last hint of the moon just before the clouds completely covered it up, plunging the city into a new darkness.

---

It was a bitch moving to a new country. The DMV, the bank, the moving companies - everything was a living nightmare, and Joe was the only thing getting Ben through it, on call at all times to help him with anything he needed to know. So when Ben texted him that he was frustrated about his internet connectivity ("It's fucking rubbish, seriously"), Joe offered a simple solution - come over and use his until the problem was resolved. And that's what he did after the gym, taking an Uber over to the now-familiar building and making his way to Joe's floor, which is how he walked in on Joe in the middle of an.... argument? Spat? Friendly fight? He wasn't sure how to place it as he entered his friend's apartment to the sound of you switching between laughing and shrieking while Joe made unintelligible noises of frustration. All Ben knew was that this was something beyond teasing - Joe honestly looked like he could drop at any moment, worn out from trying to keep up with whatever you were doing. Though you were keeping it playful, he was definitely at his wit's end. "You have to do the whole thing!" Joe cried out in frustration, dancing along with the figures on the screen and sending quick glares in your direction between moves. His hips were swaying along with the music, limbs flailing accordingly but sometimes not really even resembling anything close to what was on the screen. The scores popping up on his corner of the TV seemed okay by itself, but in comparison to yours, it was meager at best. "Absolutely not, dummy. That's so much energy conserved to do this." You continued shaking your Wii remote around in the appropriate moves, just the remote, and used the other hand to pick up your drink, taking a long sip from the straw and trying not to laugh as Joe made yet another noise of frustration. "Joe, come on.... who's winning here? I think I'm right." You were both playing Just Dance, one of the earlier versions, and a stark difference between the two of you had been quickly found out - while Joe, ever the dancer, did every single move with every part of his body, you were the type to swing only the remote hand around in time with your moves. Joe was beginning to get very annoyed at this tactic, so much so that he paused the game and crossed his arms, turning to scowl at you for a moment before he saw Ben's head peeking around the wall just past your shoulder. "Oh, hey bud!" Joe greeted, giving him a dopey grin before pulling off the Wii remote strap and purposely shouldering past you to greet Ben with a one armed hug. Ben reciprocated, meeting your gaze over Joe's shoulder and nodding in acknowledgement as you turned to face them, a hand on your hip and a cocky smile on your face. This was a much different you from when he'd seen you a few weeks ago, sleepy, slow, and somewhat inebriated. Now you were bright-eyed, alert, and seriously giving Joe a run for his money. "Sorry, she came over with her Wii and knew I couldn't resist a friendly game of Just Dance." "Friendly?" Ben laughed, looking between the two of you as he pulled out of the hug, setting his laptop on the counter. "Seems like you weren't having a good time." Glancing to the screen, he raised an eyebrow at the scores. "She's killing you, mate." "Well, she's a cheater, so." Shrugging, Joe went to grab his WiFi router so he could give Ben the password, Ben taking a seat at the stools placed under the counter and turning a bit so he could see both of you. "Joe's just mad because I've been roasting him nonstop for the past hour," you informed Ben, pulling your Wii remote off your wrist and setting it on the couch as you lifted your gaze to meet his. You were reminded that they were green, paired with slightly damp, curly blonde hair that fell a bit over his forehead and blonde lashes that were extra visible at this angle. It was a fascinating combo, bright eyes framed by equally as bright lashes, and you couldn't help but smile a bit in wonder as you straightened up again. Was he made in a factory? He seemed too perfect to be real. Ben was intrigued by the look you gave him, so unreadable but so persistent that he almost asked if he had something in his teeth. But Joe ruined the moment, cutting in with his own biting words that severed the eye contact and directed attention back to him. "I hate it when you say roasted. That's my least favorite part of your vocabulary." Breaking out of your trance, you shook your head before giggling at the mild venom behind his words, unfazed by the grumpy pout he currently had on his face. Rolling your eyes playfully, you gave him the middle finger while you made your way past Ben into the kitchen, grabbing a bag of popcorn from the cabinet and tearing the plastic off as Joe helped Ben log in to his laptop. While your bag of popcorn popped, you quietly observed the two men, hunched over Ben's computer together and figuring out which network was his out of the hundreds that had similar names. Joe was focused, his thin, darker eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he watched Ben scroll through the list on his screen. There was a clear stubble on his chin, a five-o'clock shadow that refused to be hidden as it shaded the area along his jaw and just above his lips, which were pressed together into a thin line when he wasn't murmuring network names to himself. He was cute, a goofy camp counselor kind of cute that was more endearing than anything, and you smiled a bit at the thought of Joe as a camp counselor - that would be too good. In contrast, Ben's lips fell slightly parted, his tongue trapped between his teeth as he directed all of his attention to the list as well. Assessing him sober this time, you realized he was actually quite good-looking, far beyond what you'd seen on that dark balcony through drunk goggles. Like, seriously good looking. This was another level of attraction, way past what you'd felt the first time Joe had showed up with Seb Stan and Chace Crawford. You crossed your arms over your chest, an insecure habit, as Ben's curious green eyes darted up and down the screen, searching for the name Joe had provided. When he finally located it, his plump, slightly chapped lips pursed into a round O shape, and Joe pointed to the name excitedly, his finger tapping the screen. Ben groaned and smacked his hand away meekly, jokingly complaining about a smudge on the the display while Joe laughed and wiped his hand off on the front of his shorts. "Sorry, we've been eating popcorn in between Y/N cheating," Joe explained, making you roll your eyes and suppress a grin as you turned to retrieve the bag of popcorn. Opening the steaming bag, you poured it into the bowl next to the microwave, then turned to sit it on the counter between the three of you as you spoke. "Again - still just salty that he's getting roasted." "Roasted? Is that really a popular slang word here?" Ben asked curiously, his eyes flicking up to meet yours for a moment as you hummed and turned to grab a packet of ranch seasoning. His eyebrows furrowed a bit when you flicked the packet back and forth, moving the seasoning to the bottom before you ripped open the corner, and you started to pour it over the popcorn as he watched, dumbfounded. "What kind of monstrosity is that?" "Ranch popcorn," you replied simply, emptying half of the packet before folding it over and pinching the corner, providing Ben with a sugar sweet smile as you did so. "Don't knock it 'til you try it, bloody ol' chap." Your smile disarmed him quite a bit - it was a smile that could disarm anyone, really, and he could tell by the way that Joe smiled with you that it had a similar effect on him. But your attempt at imitating his accent didn't go unnoticed, and Ben cringed a bit as he laughed, shaking his head. "Horrible. Truly horrible. And you didn't answer my question." "In Y/N's world, roasted is the only word," Joe answered for you, reaching to shake up the bowl a bit before he snatched a piece of popcorn off of the top, tossing it into his mouth and making a happy noise as he chewed. For a moment, he paused, then swallowed and added, "Actually, that and dummy." "Makes sense." Ben watched you as he replied, grinning a bit when you just smiled impishly and tossed the packet onto the counter, shrugging a bit before leaning forward to rest your elbows on the counter. Propping your chin on your hands, you cocked your head to the side a bit and fought back a bigger smile as Ben almost mirrored you, his head tilting just slightly to the side out of curiosity. "So, Mr. British Man-" "Ben," Joe interjected, sending you a pointed look and a raised eyebrow that only made you roll your eyes before continuing. "He's American now." "Dual citizen, but I'll look past it for now," Ben corrected, Joe scoffing quietly in response. "Okay, Ben. How has it been so far in America? You liking it?" Joe picked up his slip of paper from the counter, returning it to the router as Ben leaned his head on one hand, looking down to his computer screen and grimacing a bit at the thought of all the hell he'd had to go through in the past few weeks. But you were still practically a stranger, and even if he did want to get to know you better, he figured it was far too early for him to unload all of his problems on you. "Yeah, yeah, it's been alright," he yielded, scratching at his temple with his index finger before sitting up straight again and crossing his arms on the counter in front of him, the fabric of his sleeves straining a bit against the movement. "Unpacking was hell, but the rest was okay, I guess." "Oh, stop bullshitting me!" you laughed, pushing yourself up off the counter so you could go retrieve a beer from the fridge for him, the action in itself revealing your familiarity with Joe's apartment to Ben. Without looking, you grabbed the bottle opener magnet off of the freezer and popped the top off the beer, bringing it over to the handsome blond. "The DMV fucking sucked, didn't it?" "God, it was so terrible," Ben groaned unhappily, relieved that you'd practically read his mind as his shoulders slumped a bit, hand automatically reaching out to receive the beer. "Thank you. But seriously, between that and the bank, I swear I'm going to lose my fucking marbles! I had to go back to the DMV three times before they could finally see me, 'cause the wait was so long and I had other things to do!" "You gotta set aside, like, a whole afternoon for the DMV," you laughed, leaning on the counter again and watching quietly as he went to take a drink, his hand easily dwarfing the bottle. "Screw that, you need a whole day off for the DMV," Joe interjected, climbing onto the stool next to Ben and popping another piece of popcorn into his mouth. "I swear to God my license expiration dates have always haunted me." "Happens when you're pushing 80, dusty bones," you teased, propping your head up on one hand and imitating Joe's bitter, sarcastic laugh when he flipped you off. "I'd rather be old and scared of license renewal than 22 and a cheater at Just Dance Wii." Twenty-two. So that's what Joe was talking about when he called you a kid. By no means was 22 a kid, but in relation to Joe, that was quite a jump. And yet, you carried yourself like you were at least 30, the confidence in your posture and sureness of your words masking the childishly playful glint in your eyes as you watched Joe, pressing your lips together to fight back a smile. Joe was returning the favor with a playful glare. "Speaking of Just Dance, are you gonna catch these L's again or what?" you challenged, Joe huffing before climbing off the stool again and heading for his discarded remote while you wiggled your eyebrows at Ben, then made your way back to the living room too. Sitting still for a moment, Ben blinked a few times in amazement at the whiplash you'd managed to give him yet again. You were full of surprises, someone that could talk sweet one moment and flame you to high heaven in the next, and honestly, he'd never wanted to be a person's friend so badly in his life. Turning on the stool, he watched as you both restarted the song, Joe immediately complaining when you set right back into your one-armed efforts. "Play the game like a normal person!" he whined, making you laugh and falter a bit in your dance moves as you leaned against him, your head on his shoulder while you squeezed his arm and made him cry out in even more frustration. "That's sabotage! Stop!" Straightening back up again, you fought a round of giggles as you tried to catch up, Joe frowning when you easily got back into the groove. Huffing softly, he reached over and clamped a hand over your eyes, making you cry hypocrisy as you struggled to pull his hand away, laughing in delight as Ben turned back to face his computer again, a contagious smile adorning his lips. That smile stayed well on into the night, fueled by jokes, laughter, and friendly banter between the three of you that kept Ben there even after he'd gotten his emails sorted through. And somehow, you'd ended up on the balcony, Joe snoozing away in your reclining chair while you shared a smoke session with Ben, chatting about everything under the moon. You didn't smoke yourself, so you definitely didn't actually partake, but Ben didn't mind sharing space with someone who was picking his brain as well as you were. It was odd, bonding with Ben. He'd seemed like such a foreign concept when Joe had started all of this BoRhap business, something you weren't quite attached to - though you did enjoy the movie. But Ben had been nothing more but a character to you, some hot guy who frequented Joe's Instagram pictures and had comebacks/comments to rival your own. Now, he was here and real. You didn't know what to think of him yet - it was hard appraising a person in real life when you'd become so accustomed to the idea of him, the picture that Joe painted of him. To you, Ben was a pretty boy, a fitness-obsessed lad who was a bit of a flirt and couldn't resist a good bromance. Sure, Joe had said he had some shy moments, but really, he'd pegged him as quite a player, and that alarmed you when you found out he'd be around more - you didn't exactly have the best track record with men and a player would most certainly not be the worst blemish so far, so his frequent drop-ins could spell trouble. However, you hadn't seen any red flags about the man so far. Ben was quite a normal person, and you were starting to enjoy his company and conversation just as much as you enjoyed Joe's goofy, 'average Joe' personality. That didn’t mean you weren’t keen on keeping your guard up, though. "That's what I don't get!" Ben scratched his eyebrow a bit before taking another drag of the cigarette, shaking his head and exhaling the smoke to his left so it wouldn't go into your face. "You're saying guilty pleasures don't exist, but I have to hide my Spotify session every time I listen to the Spice Girls so I won't get absolutely walloped by all of my friends for my activity." Giggling at the thought of Ben jamming out to Spice Girls, you wrapped your fingers around the railing and leaned back once more to stretch as you shook your head in response. "I'm not saying they don't exist, but I'm saying they shouldn't exist!" you corrected, groaning a bit when Ben only gave you a more confused look. "Oh my god, I don't know how to make it any clearer here! Guilty pleasures shouldn't exist. If it's a pleasure, why does it have to be guilty, you know?" "I'm.... trying to follow," he admitted with a laugh, glancing back at Joe for a moment before meeting your gaze again and squinting a bit. "So, are you saying that because it's a pleasure, you shouldn't be guilty about it?" You made an excited noise and tapped the railing, then grinned at him and gently poked his arm to accentuate your next words. "Exactly. If I like drinking milk straight from the carton, why should I be ashamed?" "Because that's like, kind of disgusting," he replied, laughing a bit at your excitement and wrinkling his nose a bit. "D'you really drink milk straight from the jug?" Giving him a pointed look, you pressed your lips into a thin line before leaning forward on the rail with crossed arms. "See, that's why guilty pleasures still exist. You can't judge other people for things that make 'em happy, you know?" "Christ, sorry," he grimaced, and you could barely fight back the grin that played at your lips as you watched his expression morph into one of regret. "That was a shitty thing of me to say, of course it's fine if you like drinking milk from the jug. Jesus, I'm such a dickhead sometimes, I really don't think about what I say before it comes out of my mouth..." Scooting over a step or two as he rambled, you gently elbowed his side to get his attention, smiling benevolently when he turned to meet your gaze and his words faltered. "Chill, it's alright. Nobody's perfect." A pregnant pause followed soon after as Ben smiled just a bit, mainly just to make it seem like he wasn't still beating himself up over seeming like a cunt to you, but you weren't thinking about that anymore. Your mind was already moving on, eyes roving over his facial features slowly as you took them in. He was attractive, no doubt, and you had the faintest idea that there was some very real traction to the ladies man persona that Joe had talked about so much. It was wishful thinking to even consider that Ben wasn't at least half-aware of how potent his looks were. It was also wishful thinking to let any attraction you had to him get away from you and convince you that one date really wouldn't be that bad. You desperately needed Joe right about now so you could hear a discouraging story about Ben's conquests during filming, just to knock your self-confidence out and keep you from doing anything rash. It was really quiet now. Ben squinted a bit as he did the same to you, his gaze wandering quite a bit, but not lewdly. There was an innocent gleam in his eye, one that you couldn't quite understand - was he looking at you as Joe's neighbor, or a kid, or the hot girl next door? What was his approach here? You truly couldn't tell whether he was objectifying you, but the idea that he was sent a shiver through your spine as you tore your gaze away from his, unable to handle the heavy air between you and the stocky blond next to you. A loud snore from Joe seemed to puncture the moment just seconds after you looked away, the both of you jolting a bit as the tension deflated, and you shared a laugh at how quickly Joe had managed to pass out on the balcony despite your incessant chatting. "Sleeps like a log, eh?" Ben commented, pushing himself back from the railing before snuffing out the cigarette he'd been neglecting in the mug that was serving as an ashtray. "Always," you deadpanned, but a smile played at your lips as you walked around to stand on the other side of Joe, crouching down until you were eye level with the heavy sleeper. Ben could see every quirk of your lips, every subtle expression in your face as you reached out to shake Joe's shoulder gently, murmuring to him as you did so. "Hey, Sleeping Beauty. You in there?" Joe stirred, though not much, and a soft grumble from him prompted a sympathetic look in your eyes that did not go unnoticed by Ben, who now stiffened up at the interaction. Whiplash, once again, as he tried to reckon with the gentle side of you that wasn't privy only to him like he'd blindly and so dumbly assumed. That warm, somewhat sentimental look in your eyes was achingly familiar to Ben, seeing as he'd only witnessed it mere hours ago when you were nothing more than friendly strangers, your gaze following his while you listened to him groan about the DMV. So why was he so covetous? You'd barely just got to know each other, only having a few hours of talking time tonight where you'd picked up small details about each other, so the fact that your fondness of Joe irritated him was baffling. But it couldn't be jealousy, could it? Not this early. No, for sure not. By the time he'd snapped out of his stupor, you'd already managed to get Joe to his feet, giving him a warm hug before patting his back and sending him back to his apartment. That left you alone with Ben, and the heavy air settled once again as you gave him a somewhat shy smile, sighing before stepping around the chair and pulling him into a hug as well. Reciprocating, he wrapped his arms around you briefly, the warmth of his body surprising as it transferred between the layers of clothes between you and assaulted your skin. While you'd been almost cold out here on the balcony, he seemed like he was burning alive. And his face matched as he pulled away, a rosy coloring to his cheeks making you wonder whether it was you, or just rosacea and you were a dumb bitch. Taking a shaky breath, you decided to pocket the assessment for later. "Thanks for entertaining my bullshit all night." Ben laughed at your words, shoving his hands in his pockets and shaking his head as you moved your hand to the back of your shorts, subconsciously fiddling with the tag that was sticking out. "I'm really sorry if I said anything wrong. I didn't mean to be an arsehole," he admitted, bowing his head a bit before shooting a sheepish look at you that was paired with a boyish smile. "It was nice talking to you, though. Sleepy Joe doesn't make great conversation. And I like getting to know you, you're.... interesting." He said the last word as his lips quirked upwards even more, his eyes crinkling a bit at the vague compliment that made you furrow your eyebrows playfully and give him a questioning look. "Wow, Joe wasn't wrong when he said you were a charmer," you noted. While Ben shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets with the same undying smirk still on his face, you took the opportunity to return to your side of the balcony, your hand going to pull your sliding door open as you peeked over your shoulder. There was a sly smile on your lips as you did so, one that said everything and nothing at all in one go as you spoke. "Goodnight, Ben. See you later." You would see him later. Never had you considered how true that statement could be as you came across his profile on Bumble while you were burrito-ed in your comforter, curled in the fetal position as your nightly playlist was on in the background to lull you to sleep. Hozier crooned to you while a sweaty, cutoff-clad Ben stared you down from the confines your phone screen. You hadn't actually expected to run into him on the app, despite having that nagging memory of Joe mentioning that Ben was on here. It made you drop your phone at first, a knee-jerk reaction paired with a shocked expression that lasted for a few seconds before you scrambled to pick up your phone, staring at the picture of him at the gym again. It was a stereotypical fuckboy picture in the big mirror at the gym, but you got a good giggle out of the short bio that didn't even remotely hint at him being an actor - how humble, and how juxtaposed with his red carpet flexes in the subsequent photos. Suddenly, you realized that you had to swipe left or right. Your heart seized up for a moment, and all rational thought was thrown out the window as you went into a panic. If you swiped right, what if you matched? But if you didn't and then he swiped right on you, then he would know when you didn't match and that would make things really awkward. "Mmmmfuck no. Nope." You closed the app, too overwhelmed by all of the situations that choosing could cause, and you fell into an uneasy sleep as Ben sat dormant in your Bumble cache, waiting for an answer. Little did you know, seeing your profile had induced the same panic for him. But he'd done something that you couldn't. He chose.

---

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antics-pedantic · 4 years ago

Text

RALLY CO. #4: THE GATE TO WITHIN, PART 2

“It’s not unlike the one we saw the Golden Shadow’s puppet body use some time ago.”

Solomon tapped at the gate with his cane once more, before taking a greater analysis of the stone arch. It had recently been donated to the Century University archaeological department, with special instructions to allow for a space and equipment, only to be utilized by Solomon himself as well as his approved charges. And it helped that Solomon had collected the spare stone arch pieces from Morocco that were intact, adding them to this gate.

“But of course, old friend.”

There stood a construct of rounded form and malleable clay. Humblest among ancients was the kindly Blockhouse, as children came to call him. Born from the dawn time magicks that filled the volatile, young Earth. Though by no means a magician, Blockhouse saw fit to aid his longtime friend in understanding this occult mechanism.

“Yes… it could still work. Lead us to where that cad departed in Morocco, Solomon. I can feel it still working, if a bit muddled by the action…”

Solomon snapped his fingers.

“Splendid! Help me to organize it proper, chum. I’ve a feeling it’ll be needed soon enough. Have you a guess as to the realm it might take us to?”

The clay construct shrugged.

“There is more than one realm to be had. Modern science has not explored this frontier. It may be too perilous to properly chart.”

“For now, Blockhouse. For now. Until then, let us make the most of what the university has been gracious enough to loan us, eh?”

“Aye. And any thoughts as to our anonymous benefactor?”

Solomon took a moment to turn away and wipe the smudges from his glasses lenses with a cloth.

“None welcomed. Not right now at least.”

And as the two set to work, the rest of Rally Co. set about town in the meantime, leaving behind the campus, and the roadster parked by the science building. No shortage of familiar art deco architecture in this city: More than anywhere else Arcadia, Maryland had boasted more than just a trend. The whole city was stylized carefully as per the wish of some dreamy-minded visionary.

Katrina had insisted on picking up fresh groceries: They hadn’t been to Morocco for too long, but the psychic girl was wary of the produce back at Solomon’s place. A fine excuse for Solomon to grant them some pocket change to stop by a new pharmacy: Mostly since it boasted a soda shoppe.

“Oi, jerk.” said Tycho. “Gimme a tall glass with a few scoops!”

“Tycho! That is most rude.” gasped Katrina.

“Eh?! They’re all called soda jerks.”

“Still. Perhaps say the ‘soda’ part so as to… to differentiate? Yes?”

“I gotcher, dear! Now c’mon and try one o’ these. Nectar, it is, I tells ya!”

Ez picked up a few things from the actual pharmacy, that she would need later for her lab work, before joining Felix outside.

“Any errands you’ve got there, private eye?”

“Mmm?”

Felix turned to face the other woman.

“Ah, none come to mind. I should really make a list�� Katrina tells me all the time that it would help me remember things.”

Ez however, rolled her eyes.

“Confound the lists, I’ve no need for such things.”

“Really? Then what’s that sticking out of your side pocket?”

“Oh! An arrangement of the names of items on paper.”

“So a list? To remind you of the important things?”

“Getting smart, are we?! And what science are you going into, hm? How’s about I introduce you to the sweet science?”

Ez playfully punched Felix in the arm before the two laughed it off. That is, until a man in a long coat and hat, with a greying handlebar mustache bumped into Esmerelda.

“Ach! Verzeihung!” apologized the fellow. “Esmerelda darling, I’ve not seen you on campus in some time. We are missing our favorite bio-chemist extraordinaire.”

“Mueller, wasn’t it?” said Ez. “Felix, this is Mr. Mueller. Ruprecht Mueller. He’s volunteered to accompany some of our foreign exchange students around town. I’ve been reporting to him as a promise the science majors from his university in Sweden are all in good health.”

“Charmed.” said Felix. But when she offered a hand to shake, she noticed something, and instead fixed her ponytail.

“Apologies! I am buying some night medicines to help sleep properly. I tell you both, the shifting seasons… they are a nightmare upon allergies! Haw haw!!”

With that, Mueller bid his farewell and Ez turned to glance at Felix.

“What’s wrong? Scrunching your nose at his cologne?”

“No, strong as it was—along with that loud laugh of his, I noticed one of his purchases went beyond personal medicines and included chloroform. For those students you mentioned both looking out for? Some experiment of theirs?”

“Ruprecht isn’t on the approved faculty to handle restocking.” said Ez, starting to get suspicious as well.

“What’s say you and I take guard duty at the university tonight?”

“I don’t imagine the security guards will object to having Rally Co. take over some of their duties.”

Later that night, the whole group was on the university campus. Tycho and Blockhouse were in the roadster with the hood up, playing some card games to pass the time. It had been a dull stakeout thus far, but the two were determined to see it through.

“Got any kings?” said Blockhouse. Tycho might have said ‘go fish,’ but found himself startled when there was a sound from the car’s portable radio set.

“Felix here. Tycho? Blockhouse?”

Blockhouse took up the radio microphone and offered it over, giggling as Tycho snatched it from the construct’s hand and spoke.

“Ye ye, we’re ‘ere.” grumbled Tycho, fishing for a pair of binoculars. “Gimme a sec here, the last few sweeps haven’t turned much up—eh?!”

“What is it, Tycho?”

“I see yer lad now. Not on the sidewalk, but the light’s gone on in the gate room! He’s damn near evaded us I’ll bet he has.”

“Alright, we’re going in. See you there.”

Tycho shut off the radio for the time being, scrambling out of the roadster. Blockhouse shifted his shape slightly on the way out, as the two entered the building.

“When will Solomon take my advice about a new car?” said Blockhouse.

“We’d have to total his current ride, and for that we’d get some new wheels—and surer deaths.”

“Oh bother.”

They reunited with Felix, Ez, and Katrina, the three of whom had reached the room and found no trace of anyone. The gate had not been tampered with either.

“Still begs the question of who turned on the lights.” said Felix. Just then, as she was about to search more of the room, she had moved out of the way of a stray stapler: On the ground, scurrying away on all fours was none other than that boastful mercenary, Duke Luke!

“Lemme at that blight!” exclaimed Tycho. “We can figure how he got back here afterwards.”

“Wait hold on—” said Ez. “This fink’s real shaken. Blockhouse, grab him!”

“I should be so delighted, to make him ready for questioning.” responded Blockhouse, taking up Duke Luke by the back of his jacket like a kitten by the scruff after the mercenary started swinging a yardstick at him. But before any questioning could occur, the door into the room opened and a piece of metal gleamed under the light.

“Ruprecht Mueller!” gasped Ez.

“Midnight tidings.” Said Ruprecht, leveling his pistol. “I don’t know about your clay guardian, but if the rest of this motley bunch are meant to survive, you’ll not make a move against me until I’ve given you each a ‘bedtime wishing’ with my handkerchief. Ah, and thank you for bringing Mr. Luke ahead of schedule: he’ll be joining me through the gate momentarily as my guide.”

“You’re aware he’s gone through?” asked Felix. She noticed Duke Luke starting to get antsy in Blockhouse’s grasp.

“Our agents are always watching, miss. Keeping tabs on the most particular of interests.”

With his other hand, Ruprecht moved to a table to soak a rag with the chloroform he’d bought earlier. Felix nodded to Katrina, who nodded back in response and began to focus her telekinesis so that the bottle would slip from Ruprecht’s grasp. Just in that moment, Duke Luke slipped out of his jacket, and ran for the door.

“You can’t make me go back!” cried Duke Luke. “I won’t! Not to that hell!”

Ruprecht fired his pistol off. Duke Luke had stumbled, the bullet shooting a gas valve at one of the tables. In a mad bid to escape before any of Rally Co. could catch him, Ruprecht produced an amulet from his coat pocket, quickly activating the stone gate. Once he felt he was in a safe enough distance, he tore off part of his handkerchief and stuck it into a bottle—not the chloroform, but rather something more flammable.

“He’s gonna toss towards the broken valve!” screamed Duke Luke. “We’ll be blown to smithereens!”

As the bottle flew through the air, Ez grabbed Katrina and dived for the gate. Felix and Tycho were not far off. Blockhouse took special care to toss Duke Luke in with them, before shielding the open gate with his own enchanted form.

“BLOCKHOUSE!!—”

But before Blockhouse could speak, the explosion went off. It tore into his back, causing him to cry out in pain. And then the gate ceased its portal, separating them at last.

“Blockhouse!”

The clay construct was in a daze. The room around himself was charred and blasted. Solomon had made it into the room alongside a handful of firefighters. The two made it back to the roadster where Solomon kept some extra enchanted clay in the trunk. Just enough for the construct to absorb if he had taken sufficient damage.

“Are you well, old friend?”

“Yes… of course Solomon. I have weathered worse.” sobbed Blockhouse.

“What is it? The others—they went through the gate didn’t they? Safe from the explosion?”

“Aye… But I fear we have lost them a great and terrible distance Solomon. If only I’d stopped those mad fools Luke and Mueller. We’d all be safe here, and the university science building intact.”

Solomon looked to the window of the room his charges had just been in not so long ago. He trusted them to fend for themselves if need be, but he hated to leave them without guidance.

“I’ll keep trying to reach Katrina with my telepathy if I can. Let’s see if we can salvage the gate and go after them.”

“Stow it, old man. You’re not the only one on this trail.”

Solomon and Blockhouse were astonished by who they saw before them now: Descending from a perch atop some street lamp came The Junker!

“I believe I’ve found… just the thing. But listen well or I’ll set about this alone.”

Solomon wanted to say a million things. Pertaining to other things, to the matter at hand. To argue that Junker wouldn’t have come here if he could handle this by himself, to apologize for some secret dealings in their shared past.

But for the sake of the others, that had to wait.

“… Hello again, Blockhouse.” said Junker. Somewhat more warmly, fonder than he was used to.

“I am glad you are well, my friend.” said Blockhouse, as he stood up once more, hoping to mediate for the two before him. “Lead on once again.”

Tycho had never quite seen anything like this. After some trudging around through various tight tunnels, Rally Co. had happened upon more of a valley area with some sections of lush greenery that felt not unlike a tropical locale. And right now he was behind cover with his friends, as Mueller—an agent to some unknown party, be it an organization or an agency of some nation, was shooting at them, and dragging the panicking Duke Luke away. He loaded up his impellet gun, and rose from his cover with a battle cry, offering returning fire. Once Felix and Ez had drawn theirs they could outgun the older man, not just skirmish with him.

But then came a responding roar. An ear-splitting bellow that announced the arrival of the terrible lizard: Like the tyrannosaurus rex, but unlike it. Perhaps a little larger, some features different. Rather, this was the T-Rex’s mutated descendant. An inhabitant of the subterranean world. And it was currently barreling right for the group!

“Cheese it, gang!” exclaimed Ez. She pushed Katrina and Tycho forward first. She and Felix pelted the beast with a barrage of impellets. The force of the rounds was a nuisance to it. And while the tranquilizer chemical was taking effect, it was occurring too slowly for an adventurer’s taste. At least, an adventurer that had some greater value for their own continued existence.

A mortifying sort of miracle occurred at least then: As a giant centipede emerged from above, scaling a side of the stony Earth before extending outwards to begin using its dreaded crushing parts of the mouth: The mandibles!

“Ply my trade, I says.” huffed Tycho. “Follow in dear old dad’s footsteps me says. I don’t think anybody outta the cryptozoology department anywhere’s got any entries on those horrors!”

Felix was out of her league, to say the least. Even in their first adventures thus far Rally Co. had the advantage of operating within Arcadia or Morocco, Paris once (to help pick up some things and sell off Katrina’s old apartment). This was more the explorer’s game, less the investigator. But Duke Luke was out there with knowledge on the Golden Shadow’s business. And she was still designated leader without Solomon’s expertise to defer to. Everyone was counting on her—and she’d start slowly by giving Katrina a pat on the back. Ez and Tycho still kept their cool for the most part…

Dieter Leistung had been running for as long as he could remember. He could have sworn he’d ran into a mirage some time ago. After all: What kind of name was Duke Luke? It was almost enough to distract him from this subterranean world that might just have been hell itself, the likes of which no mortal could thrive.

“Halt, damn you!”

Dieter heard that before the click of the pistol’s firing hammer. He turned to look at Ruprecht, who had Duke Luke standing just a step in front of him. And the strangest thing happened.

“… Ha! Hahaha, ha!” cackled Ruprecht. “Of course you found another gate and used it! I’d expect nothing less from one of Arkavalia’s sharpest minds.”

But where Ruprecht knew him, Dieter did not. In fact, he was afraid of this fanatical appreciation. This recognition of service.

“I do not believe we’ve met, Herr?...”

“I’m Agent Mueller, brother Leistung. We will have need of your mind… to make sense of this place. Its secrets, and to form the network that will give our country the world!”

#Rally Co. 4 #Web Fiction

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georgiadixon · 6 years ago

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animal

pairing: michael langdon x reader

request: “Plsss write something fluffy. I dont care what it is about, i just need a Michael that is LOVED” - @gelukstraan

warnings: fluff, sex, blood, death, gore, lots of crying… just all of it lads. gets kinda creepy towards the end.

summary: your love story with the devil, as told by animal by troye sivan

word count: 1926 ! it’s a longer one boyz !

a/n: i promise this was meant to be just pure fluff but idk my hands slipped. thanks for reading, liking, and reblogging! it means so much to me. pls feel free to message me about whatever, and leave requests if you want to! ♡

my masterlist is in my bio! :)

i told you something safe

something i’ve never said before

and i can't keep my hands off you

“i love you.” michael whispered, your head in his lap. the hint of a smile appeared on your face as he rubbed his thumb against your cheek. your eyes wandered upwards to meet his gaze, threatening to get lost in everything his soul held.

your demons chanted, telling you this was the devil. but you thought, how could that be? how could this beautiful boy with the softest blonde curls be anything but pure at heart? when you learned who michael really was, you knew you should have been scared. but something in you had always trusted him to the point where you’d give up your life for him. you knew you’d follow him anywhere.

“you know i’d never hurt you, right?” michael spoke as if he heard your thoughts. you nodded and whispered back to him “i know.” but his eyes still held true concern. the look on his face made your heart break. you sat up in his lap so your legs were on either side of his hips then wrapped your hands around his neck. his hands went instinctively to your lower back, rubbing up and down. you smiled empathetically as you put your foreheads together. “i trust you, michael. i know you’d never let anything happen to me.” “never.” he retorted, voice lower than usual. your eyebrows raised slightly until he spoke again. “nothing will ever happen to you, baby. not when i’m around.” your heart swelled at his words and you wondered what you ever did to deserve his love. you held back tears as you moved his hair out of his face to kiss his forehead. you continued to leave kisses all over his face before finally meeting his lips. michael’s grip on your hips tightened as you moved your hands to hold his face, drowning in each other’s warmth.

while you lie in the wake

covered all in the night before

i’m high, no one's got me quite like you

the boy you loved held you as you slept, though he was far away from his own sleep. his gaze wandered all over your resting figure. he thought you were perfect. every inch, every curve, every crevice fascinated him to no end and he knew that he would do whatever it took to have you by his side forever. he had loved before. but never had he felt this much love and admiration for a single being and have those feelings returned just the same. you challenged everything that michael had ever believed in and gave him one reason to accept that humanity was capable of creating something worthwhile

he traced your skin tenderly, stopping at any mark he came upon. some given to you when you came into the world, and some given to you by the boy wonder who found his way into your body in the depths of the night. this was how it started. secret rendezvous where he held your hand as you found a place together to call yours. he never meant to get attached or to care past the night. everything was telling him that this wouldn’t last, and you didn’t deserve to have your heart broken when you found out the truth about him. but the one night you asked him to stay, he couldn’t say no. that next morning was when he knew he loved you, truly and fully. it was then when he realized he had fallen for you, and he would go through everything and everyone to ensure that you were alongside him for eternity.

i want you all to myself

don’t leave none for nobody else

i am an animal with you

the first nights you spent with michael were perfect. he was charming, always finding the right words to make your heart skip a beat. you didn’t know what was going to happen when he went through the tests given to him by your supreme, but you knew that you loved him and you didn’t want to live without him. then he was told to descend into hell, and something left your body as he did. as you sat on the floor and awaited michael’s return, you couldn’t help but wonder if this was all worth it. if betraying your coven was worth the pain and agony that came along with loving the antichrist. you looked towards your sisters and knew that if you chose to be with michael, they wouldn’t want anything to do with you. they would cast you out. everything you had ever known in your whole life would be taken away the second you showed any sign of betrayal. you knew this, yet when michael resurrected, you ran to the devil, giving in. that was the moment he became your everything. now when you’re lying next to him, all you see is your forever, your purpose.

you woke up to an empty bed. you frowned at the cold air that hit your skin while sitting up and letting the blankets fall off of you. you looked at the clock and saw it was half past two. you groaned at the early hour and attempted to rub sleep from your eyes. just as you began to wonder where michael could have gone at this hour, it hit you. call it lover’s intuition.

that was when you heard the screams.

it took you a moment to react, as only one thing was echoing through your mind. michael.

no angels could beckon me back

and it's hotter than hell where i’m at

i am an animal with you

you ran as fast as you could towards the horrific sounds. you didn’t have time to process what was happening before you slipped on the blood covered floor and fell head first onto the hardwood. you groaned as you sat up and held your head. as your eyes became adjusted to the light, you gasped in shock of the sight before you.

every witch, slaughtered. their lifeless bodies were scattered around the room. you grew sick looking into the faces of the girls you once knew as sisters. you couldn’t begin to try and understand the meaning of this. and then you remembered.

on cue, you heard a faint whimper coming from the corner of the room. you just noticed there was still life among you. it was him. your boy, you thought. covered in blood. hunched over in pain as blood ran out of his body at a relentless rate. they must have tried to kill him before he slaughtered them all.

you shrieked and ran over to him, crying out for help. you felt a hand reach out for you. you wanted to just hold him close and let him know everything would be ok, but you didn’t know that. you were trying to stop the blood, to buy you some time but his wound was past the point of healing and you knew no one was coming.

you sat back and began to sob, holding his head in your hands. “michael.” you choked out, looking into his eyes. you could tell he was fighting to stay awake.

“don’t cry, angel.” he smiled up at you. “i’m alright.” he said clearly, but after started to cough, blood spilling from his mouth. you winced at the sight, feeling completely helpless. michael was always the strong one. he was always the one to lead the way, to take your hand and bring you to exactly where you needed to be. but without him to guide you, you were helpless.

“what can i do? i-” you shook your head. “how can i help you? michael, please. tell me what to do.” you rested your forehead against his, your tears hitting his face. you felt defeated. your entire world was crumbling down around you. but in the midst of all your hopelessness, the boy who you dedicated your life to just looked at you, brought his hand to your cheek, and smiled. “i love you, y/n. i’ll see you soon.”

all you could do was cry for him, cry for your boy wonder. cry and pray to whoever finds him that he’ll be taken care of.

an ode to the boy i love

boy, i’ll die to care for you

you’re mine, tell me who do i owe that to?

you were holding michael when his soul left his body. his eyes rolled back to his head as “father.” left his lips, and you knew he was in hell. you laid against his body, trying to feel whatever was left of him. but there was nothing. he didn’t even look like himself to you anymore, almost like you were betraying him by holding his body and not his soul. you closed your eyes and an intense wave of dark energy overtook you. your body started to shake and you screamed out in pain. you had lost all control of your senses. your vision went black, and then you felt him. you felt michael in your bones, trying to pull you under. you knew death seemed like something that you shouldn’t face for a boy, but you had made a vow to yourself and him that you would follow him anywhere. and you meant it.

and as the days fly by

we’ll be more than getting through

and in time, we'll build a home for two

everything around you was black. your body felt like it was on fire, yet you felt at peace. you felt as if everything in your life had lead you to this moment.

loud chimes began to ring from above you as a path of light appeared before your feet. as you slowly followed the path, vines grew from all around you. time didn’t seem to have significance anymore, and you didn’t think it ever would again. the only thing that would ever matter was the sight now before you. millions bowing down to your towering frame. on earth you were small, you were shy and ignorant. but here, you were a goddess with unlimited power who would rule hell forever alongside your king.

michael grabbed your hand and smiled at you. you smiled back, happy to be with him again. “i told you i’d see you soon. what were all those tears for? i started to think you were doubting me.” he spoke with such confidence and a light beaming from his eyes that you had never seen before. he was happy.

your smile grew as you grabbed onto his shoulders to kiss him deeply. he returned the kiss with more passion and held you close. you pulled back to say “i never doubted you. i was just so scared, i mean, you were so far away and-” michael cut you off and crashed his lips back to yours. he looked deep into your eyes and brought a serious look to his face. “we’re together now. and together we’ll stay. for eternity.” you nodded. the force that connected you two together was stronger than it had ever been before, and you were filled with so much content you swore your heart could burst. michael pulled back and brought you to his chest so he could rest his chin on your head. and with strokes to your back and a kiss to your head, he spoke the words that settled any and all things that had ever tried to keep you apart. “welcome home, my queen.”

my masterlist is in my bio! :)

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dictionarywrites · 6 years ago

Photo

Know Your Jeffs: A Guide To Goldblum’s Characters

This isn’t an exhaustive list, and I will be updating it as I watch more Goldblum movies, adding in the characters as I pick them up! Everything is below the cut so that I can just update as I take more stuff in.

The descriptions of movies and characters are very much not impartial, but they should give you an idea of what you’re in for if you want to look the film up. I’m only including stuff I’ve already seen, plus Raines, which I feel like I’m never gonna be able to get hold of, and am heartbroken about.

Movies are listed in CHRONOLOGICAL order, but if you CTRL+F, you can search for a particular character name, date, or movie/TV title. This is very much under construction. There are currently 40 Jeffs on the list.

1978 - Invasion Of The Bodysnatchers, dir. Philip Kaufman - IMDb

Invasion Of The Bodysnatchers is a film about a kind of alien who comes to Earth and steals people’s bodies - effectively, they make up their own pod-versions of them, and then turn the original to dust.

Jack Bellicec is a poet in New York City, who owns a bathhouse with his wife, Nancy. This film is a sci-fi horror, and Jack is earnest but antsy throughout - he’s a real cutie, and every much a good guy. He’s just the sweetest, and is generally in a state of complete and utter terror, whilst still trying to keep grounded and keep thinking forward.

1980 - The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow, dir. Henning Schellerup, IMDb

Okay, so, for a stupid TV movie from the 80s, this is actually really cute It loosely follows the plot of the short story, but generally with a happier ending and a lot more fun antics from Ichabod Crane, and it’s just great fun. A schoolteacher comes to the valley of Sleepy Hollow, and finds himself facing down the silly ghost stories continuously thrown forward by the locals.

Ichabod Crane is the cutest - he’s soft and sweet with the children, like he is in the short story, on top of being lanky and clumsy and a little stupid; he lacks a lot of his arrogance that he has in the short story, and instead he’s much less of a dick when he criticizes the ghost stories and stuff. He’s lovely, I adore him.

1980 - Tenspeed and Brownshoe, TV Series - IMDb

Tenspeed and Brownshoe is a delight - it’s a detective TV series with a very light-hearted tone, and it’s very comfortable to just settle back and watch casually.

Lionel Whitney is... a trip. A chartered accountant turned gumshoe, Lionel starts his own detective agency in L.A. after breaking up with his fiancée and meeting the charming (and duplicitous) E.L. Turner, a conman and scam artist. E.L. is his partner in the business, and the two combine strengths - Lionel with his idolisation of and knowledge of the 40s pulp fictional detective, Mark Savage, as well as his black belt in karate; E.L. with his thousands of accumulated skills, including being a master of disguise, a smooth-talker, and a winner at sleight of hand.

Lionel is a dote: he’s just the sweetest, and he really gives off Bertie Wooster vibes, but with an air of genuine competence Mr Wooster never had. He’s truly incredible, and all the episodes of Tenspeed and Brownshoe are up on YouTube, so it’s really worth watching!

1981 - Threshold, dir. Richard Pearce - IMDb

Okay, so Threshold... Big old snooze fest. Not a very engaging movie, not an especially good movie - I forgot a good deal of the movie after I finished watching it. It was uninspiring and a bit bland. The concept is basically that a pioneer in mechanical science re: bio-engineering comes up with a heart valve to replace a little girl’s heart - the pioneer being Jeff Goldblum’s character - and a doctor puts it in the little girl, but it’s a very unpopular decision, because it’s not organic. Obviously, in the 80s, that was a much bigger deal than it is now.

Aldo Gehring is just... Adorable. Too earnest, a little bit arrogant, and he’s just far too baby-faced for the age he’s textually said to be to be believable, but like... You know! It’s a dull movie either way, and Aldo isn’t a huge part of it.

1983 - The Big Chill, dir. Lawrence Kasdan - IMDb

The Big Chill is a film about a group of college friends that meet up for the first time in like, a decade after one of their closest friends commits suicide. They all come for the funeral, and spend a few days together in the aftermath.

A lot of people seem to dislike Michael Gold, but like, he’s kind of one of the most tragic of the figures in the movie - a lot of their friends don’t remember him initially, and he really isn’t good at doing anything other than compartmentalising and shoving down his emotions. He’s brittle and a little sharp, and maybe a bit too honest for his own good, but I really love him, and I totally rec him if you can handle the subject matter, which is obviously very grim and very sad.

1984 - The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai, dir. W.D. Richter - IMDb

Buckaroo Banzai is a guy who’s basically, like, any eight-year-old’s Mary Sue - he’s a cowboy, a neurosurgeon, an expert test pilot, a rockstar, etc... And they play it completely straight. Leading his band of hypercompetent pretty boys, The Hong-Kong Cavaliers, he saves the world, if not the universe, on the regular.

Doctor Sidney Zweibel, a.k.a. New Jersey, is a new addition to the team in The Adventures, and he’s a neurosurgeon who went to med school with Buckaroo. He’s a would-be cowboy, complete with boots, hat and chaps, and he’s just the cutest thing in the world, a sweet and pure boy. 10/10 Goldblums for Sid Zweibel.

1985 - Silverado, dir. Lawrence Kasdan - IMDb

Mmm, Silverado is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, and it has little to no plot. Even for a Western, I found it incredibly dry and disjointed, and I can’t in good fatih recommend it to anybody, even though John Cleese is inexplicably a sheriff midway through.

However. Slick (whose actual name is Calvin Stanhope) is really fucking hot, and so you should watch his scenes on YouTube, even if you don’t watch the movie (which you shouldn’t). Slick’s screentime tocks up to around 15-20 minutes, out of a movie that’s genuinely like, two and a half hours long.

Slick is like, a casino man with a knife in his boot; he wears furs; he’s terrible. He’s so great, I adore him.

1985 - Into The Night, dir. John Landis - IMDb

Into The Night is... a little hard to describe. It’s like, a crime thriller movie with Jeff Goldblum and Michelle Pfeiffer, and with a cameo from David Bowie, as well as about 700 other Hollywood lads who Landis knew. I think the plot is... loose, and the film itself isn’t the greatest, but the main characters are pretty great.

Ed Okin is an astrophysicist dissatisfied with his job and his life in general, who abruptly becomes plagued by this inescapable insomnia, and subsequently becomes embroiled in this whole crime plot across from Pfeiffer. I really love Ed - because of the insomnia, he tends to underreact to most of the situations around him, and he’s very likable.

1985 - Transylvania 6-5000, dir. Ruby de Luca - IMDb

Is TR 6-5000 a good movie? No, absolutely not. But should you watch it? Oh, yes.

This is like, a comedy/absurdist horror/pastiche, lots... It’s lots of stuff. Basically, these two reporters who do a Weekly World News style thing go to Transylvania to report on Frankenstein, and also meet some Igors, a werewolf, a vampire, etc.

Jack Harrison is such a great character - he’s pretty much eternally looking after his hapless partner, Gil, but both of them are as ridiculous as the other, each of them stumbling into bizarre situations. Definitely don’t take the movie too seriously, but it really is a fun thing, and it’s certainly worth watching for the goofy trip it is. Jack is a real sweetheart, and he’s so lovable - Gil certainly thinks so. ;)

1986 - The Fly, dir. David Cronenburg - IMDb

So, fair warning, I nearly vomited like, several times watching The Fly, and was on the verge of just turning it off a few times. It’s nearly forty years old, but the body horror of the effects really stands up, and it’s very gory toward the end. Despite its well-earned rep as such a gory film, though, The Fly is actually a heartbreaking tragedy, so definitely don’t expect it to be lacking in the feels department if you can stomach it.

Seth Brundle (yeah, poor guy, what a name) is a really impressive engineer and scientist, and he invents a machine that should enable him to teleport objects from one electronic pod to another. Unfortunately, when teleporting himself, he becomes melded with an intruder to the pod - a fly - and begins a horrifying transition into something other than human.

Seth at the start is... He’s a genius, but he’s naive, arrogant, and a little too trusting in how earnest he is. As time goes on, and he begins the change into Brundlefly, he becomes much more erratic, and his personality changes a lot. I totally rec Seth, honestly.

1988 - Vibes, dir. Ken Kwapis - IMDB

Vibes is a fucking trip. It’s a movie about two psychics - Jeff Goldblum’s character, Nick Deezy, who can tell the history of an object by touching it, and Cyndi Lauper’s character, Sylvia Pickel, who is a medium. Yes, you read that right. Cyndi Lauper. It’s incredible.

Vibes is actually a much better movie than I expected - it’s a genuinely funny comedy, it’s ridiculous and cartoonish and stupid, but it’s fun. Cyndi Lauper and Goldblum have a tango scene at one point, and the height differential is so extreme that she’s literally wrapped around his waist and he’s just carrying her around.

Nick Deezy himself is a really interesting character - he’s kinda used to being used and pushed around because of his psychic powers, but he’s a guy with such a lot of courage and genuine empathy for others, and I just think he’s so sweet.

1988 - Earth Girls Are Easy, dir. Julien Temple - IMDb

So... Earth Girls Are Easy is in the same vein as Vibes for me - it’s a fun romp, and so long as you don’t take it too seriously, it’s a really enjoyable movie. It’s about these three furry aliens that drop down to Earth, and are trying to pick up the language and have a good time. It’s good banter, and it’s also a musical, because-- It was 1988, okay?

Mac is like, probably one of the most genuinely sweet characters out of the ones on this list - he’s very caring, and he’s doing his best to do good whilst not really being able to navigate the world around him very easily. He’s wonderful, and I can’t rec Earth Girls enough.

He’s also a big, furry, blue guy in his underwear for the first part of the movie, if that helps.

1989 - The Tall Guy, dir. Mel Smith - IMDb

So, disclaimer. This film is written by Richard Curtis, so like... It’s snappy, it’s clever, but it’s also a little insufferable and kinda misogynistic the whole way through, with the classic Curtis obsession with infidelity, where characters cheat on one another whether it makes sense or not.

That aside, I really enjoyed the first two acts of this movie, and while the third one falls very flat, I still think it’s worth watching. Goldblum’s character, Dexter King, plays the straight man in Rowan Atkinson’s comedy sketch act, but goes on to have a romantic relationship with Emma Thompson, and those links are just... So cute.

I think Dexter is kind of a dick, but by no means does that make him unlikable, and I’d still rec The Tall Guy! I’m not sure how long Goldblum was in the UK for - there’s a nude sex scene with Goldblum and Thompson, and I was really thrown, because he’s super pale in this film, compared to similar nude scenes in like, The Fly. So there’s your fun tidbit for the day lmao.

1990 - Mister Frost, dir. Philippe Setbon - IMDb

This film is... Odd. As a thriller, it’s fine - you know, it’s average. It isn’t so terrible, but it’s not great either. But as like, a film, there are aspects where it’s just inexplicably terrible - some of the lines are dubbed over, for some reason, and the sound quality is so off in random moments; there are odd moments where the camera is just too close to the actors’ faces, even for a close-up; technically, this film just has some bizarre and glaring... errors.

The plot is interesting, though, and I did enjoy it for that aspect - Mister Frost is a serial killer institutionalized in an attempt to cure him of his murderous tendencies, and he then professes to be Lucifer himself.

Mister Frost is a funny guy. He’s snide, clever, self-obsessed and sharp - I really liked him, and I totally think he’s worth a watch.

1992 - Fathers & Sons, dir. Paul Mones - IMDb

[icon to be added if I can ever get a decent fucking picture or screencap or something of this film]

This film was bad. I didn’t care for it. Fathers & Sons is, however, like... Very human, I guess. Max, Goldblum’s character, runs a bookstore on the coast and is having trouble communicating with his son, Ed; there’s a lot of tension between them based off the death of Ed’s mother and Max’s own character flaws, as well as Max’s temper. There’s fucking voiceover in the film, which is used clumsily and just comes across as terrible, but there aren’t any glaring technical issues throughout like there are with Mister Frost.

Max himself is not, in my opinion, a very likable character? He’s certainly relatively sympathetic, and you can see where he’s coming from, but he’s got a terrible temper and the tension with Ed is very much his own doing in a lot of respects - despite my personal dislikes, however, Goldblum is as ever a marvel, and you really do feel that Max is a whole, complete person.

1992 - Shooting Elizabeth, dr. Baz Taylor - IMDb

This film was a fucking trip and a half. The premise is that this guy, Howard, really hates his wife, and decides he hates her so much that he’s gonna kill her, but when she goes missing, he is arrested for her murder even though he never got around to it. It’s a generically confused movie which neither really meets its labelled genres of comedy or thriller, but wouldn’t do well under drama or romance either. It’s odd.

Howard Pigeon, as a character, is deeply unstable. A lot of the moments in the movie that I think are meant to be comedic just end up being tragic, because you can see how upset he is, how freaked out he is, and how disconnected from reality and rational thought he is. He’s also just... A really fucking bad person, but to be honest, so is his wife, so like... Hey. It is what it is, I guess.

1992 - Deep Cover, dir. Bill Duke - IMDb

Deep Cover is fucking incredible. It’s easily one of my favourite movies now, and I just die over it, to be honest. Playing across from Laurence Fishburne (then billed as Larry), David Jason (Elias in the script, and I don’t know why they changed it, maybe to make his name less blatantly Jewish, but I assume none of them had ever heard of Only Fools and Horses) is a low-down cocaine mogul trying to break out on his own from the local boss.

He’s a fascinating character, and I just adore him - the film itself is a very gritty noir that really considers lines of racial intersection and prejudice within both the police force and the drug trade, and David himself is constantly suffering from antisemitism and a lot of very targeted homophobic remarks, and it’s heavily implied he wants to fuck John, Laurence Fishburne’s character. David is erratic, sharp, and extremely brittle with a very short temper: he and John kinda balance each other out, because John’s a much cooler, calmer guy, and I just love their dynamic.

David’s my son. I love him. I will cry over him forever.

1993 - Jurassic Park, dir. Steven Spielberg - IMDB ↪1997 - Jurassic Park: The Lost World, dir. Steven Spielberg - IMDb ↪2018 - Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, dir. J.A. Bayona - IMDb

So, like, I’m sure you know the basic concept of Jurassic Park. A crazed Walt Disney parody in white linen with seemingly unlimited money decides to clone a bunch of fucking dinosaurs and put them into a theme park, and it goes horribly wrong. These films are genuinely great sci-fi, raising some wonderful philosophical questions about ownership, ethics, and our place in the universe, and the voice of that philosophy usually belongs to Doctor Ian Malcolm, a mathematician who specialises in chaos theory.

Ian Malcolm... I just adore him, I really do. You know, I’ve read the book of course, as well as the seen all the Jurassic Park and Jurassic World movies, and Ian is just a delight - he’s bright, he’s sarcastic, but he’s genuinely full of feeling and so eager to talk to other people, to connect with them, etc. I just find him fascinating, and even if sci-fi isn’t your thing, you’ll love Jurassic Park for him alone.

He reprises his role in the latest Jurassic World movie - I can’t, in all good conscience, really recommend the Jurassic World movies, but... He is a silver fox.

1995 - Hideaway, dir. Brett Leonard - IMDb

Hideaway is a supernatural thriller based around the concept of demonic possession, and an antiques dealer - Hatch Harrison - finds he has visions of a local serial killer after being revived from being dead for several minutes. Using those visions to thwart the killer, he and his family realise the cause is supernatural.

Hatch is a really cool dude, and I like him a lot - he’s got the strongest dad energies, and he’s so, so caring. Even grieving and tense, like, he’s just doing his best, and he’s such a good guy, I really adore him.

1995 - Nine Months, dir. Chris Columbus - IMDb

Nine Months is a terrible movie thick with a deeply unsettling ideology re: the whole “everybody really wants kids and must have them”, and I honestly despised it throughout. It’s just a terrible movie, and Columbus always ranges from “this guy is a vaguely bad director” to “this guy is a fucking twat”, and there is nothing vague about the badness of this movie.

That aside, however, Goldblum’s character is kind of a delight. Sean Fletcher is a painter (of paintings, not houses) and like... Layabout? He’s a little erratic, he changes his mind about stuff constantly, but he’s a really sound guy, and he cares a lot about Hugh Grant’s character, who is the protagonist. He’s really fun in a movie that’s just garbage the way through.

1995 - Powder, dir. Victor Salva - IMDb

Powder is a very sad movie, to be honest. It’s about this lad who’s like, an albino with telekinetic powers, and when his parents die, he ends up having to go into the public school system, where he’s bullied an awful lot. It’s extremely brutal about a lot of the bullying stuff, and it does come across very accurately; just as a general warning, there’s... an uncomfortable tone to it, although nothing directly or graphically terrible, especially re: sexuality, which I noticed even before looked Salva up and realised he was that paedophile that did Jeepers Creepers. It’s just something to be aware of.

Jeff’s character is... a delight, however. Donald Ripley is a high school teacher who’s genuinely really passionate about teaching, has no small amount of sympathy for all of his students, and is just-- He’s really sweet, and I love him. Despite the uncomfortable gaze of the film, he retains a paternal air, and I love it.

1996 - Independence Day, dir. Roland Emmerich - IMDb ↪2016 - Independence Day: Resurgence, dir. Roland Emmerich - IMDb

Independence Day, honestly, I expected to be like, bad sci-fi dreck, and it genuinely isn’t. While I think the premise is inherently stupid (the whole evil aliens invade thing), it’s actually executed so well, and I just love it as a flick - Judaism saves the day in many aspects, and it’s so nice to have that positive thing mixed up in it.

David Levinson is such a sweet guy - he’s arrogant and a little bit of an ass, but like, he’s so caring: he constantly worries about his dad, he’s so loyal to his ex-wife without being creepy or weird about it after like, three years; he fucking recycles and uses his bike to get around the city... Like, he’s an underachiever initially, but he’s a genuinely nice guy despite his abrasive personality at times, you know?

I just love him.

And he reprises the role in the new movie, which isn’t as good as the first one, but is still worth a watch for Julius Levinson’s antics, picking up grandchildren as he drives across America.

1998 - Holy Man, dir. Stephen Herek - IMDb

My full review of Holy Man is here.

Holy Man is not a good film. It’s about an exec who runs a TV shopping channel, but is like, really shit at it, and he ends up getting G., a homeless guru played by Eddie Murphy, to sell stuff for him. Nonsensical and odd although the film is, it’s actually surprisingly sweet and wholesome, and I really enjoyed a lot of the humour.

Ricky is a pretty bad guy at the beginning, but he’s slick and fun and good-humoured - he’s mostly just selfish more than outright evil, and he actually ends up becoming a lot less selfish toward the end of the film. He’s a sweetheart, in some respects.

2001 - Cats & Dogs, dir. Lawrence Guterman - IMDb

God, this movie is so bad, and so much more racist than I remembered? There’s this whole racist sequence with some ninja cats, complete with the chopsticks-style music playing in the background, and that’s... Awful.

But Charles Brody is actually really funny, to be honest. Goldblum somehow makes him feel really human - earnest and work-obsessed, but still desperate to be a good father despite not being naturally inclined, and that’s... Honestly, I hate it when he does this. He takes the stupidest character in the stupidest movie and makes them feel like a real person, and I hate him for it.

Brody is cute.

2002 - Igby Goes Down, dir. Burr Steers - IMDb

Igby Goes Down is... Hm. What best to call it? Insipid teenage horseshit. The whole film is just fucking terrible, honestly - it centres around the Culkin that isn’t Kevin in Home Alone, and he’s some unbearable little New York teenager who thinks the world revolves around him and is upset at the prospect that perhaps he should go to school and/or get a job.

Anyway, Goldblum is at his least moral and most hot, he is revolting, and he is so sexy. There’s a weird thing where he’s the family friend of a family that’s pretty anti-semitic, but they play it straight, as if Jeff Goldblum’s face isn’t one of the most Jewish faces anybody’s ever seen, but that aside, he’s really sexy. Sociopathic, abruptly violent, and infrequently undressed, but it’s not worth watching the rest of the film for, to be honest.

2003 - Spinning Boris, dir. Roger Spottiswoode - IMDb

Spinning Boris. What a film.

Here, listen, we just watched this, me and @annethecatdetective, and it was absolutely nothing that I expected,or could expect. It’s a heavily fictionalised “based on a true story” film about three Rpublicans who went to work on the Boris Yeltsin campaign in ‘96. We, apparently, are once again meant to believe Jeff Goldblum as a goyische Republican, which--

I mean, what can I tell you? He does it so well. George Gorton’s fictionalised counterpart is charismatic, charming and funny, but so is most of the movie - the Republican trio are all morons, but that actually lends to their likability in the end, and Gorton is the most lovable of the three, taking the foreground. This movie was like, actually really good.

2004 - The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou, dir. Wes Anderson - IMDb

I hated this film, and had to fast-forward a lot of it. I’m not a fan of Anderson at all, much as Goldblum is always singing his praises - I just don’t get it, I guess. Anderson is a master of visual spectacle, but he’s one of the worst writers out there, and pithy lines don’t make up for the complete lack of character that any of his films have.

Alistair Hennessy is no exception. He’s pithy, vaguely (comedically?) sociopathic, and is kinda DTF... And that’s about it. Even Goldblum can’t really add that much depth to this guy, because there’s no depth in other characters for him to play off.

2006 - Man of the Year, dir. Barry Levinson - IMDb

Mmm, so, Man of the Year surprised me.

It’s definitely quite weak, when it comes to plot and writing - the jokes aren’t at their strongest; it can’t really decide whether it wants to be a comedy or a political thriller; some of the jokes and commentary are very off-colour and have not aged well; it seeks to set out a political moral without making any particular targets. Nonetheless, I rather enjoyed it - it doesn’t pretend to be a higher art than it is, and I think it’s still enjoyable. The primary drawback is probably that the premise of a comedian being elected president of the USA is much less hilariously unbelievable in the wake of the Trump campaign, and that colours my perception a little - some of the protag’s comments about immigration or women, the way he responds to other candidates in debate, Hell, even Robin Williams’ wearing of a red baseball cap at one point... All of those elements kinda take the humour out of it a bit because of the Trump election, but hey, it was 2006 - how could they possibly know?

Goldblum’s character in this, Mr Stewart, is the lawyer and primed attack dog of a corrupt company that produces the electronic voting machines responsible for Williams’ character being elected. He isn’t at his most Goldblum-esque in this, I have to say - he’s sharp, nasty, and very business-focused, but he doesn’t get that much time on screen, and his on-screen moments don’t lean very much into his usual charm and humour. Stewart is actually a very dull, run-of-the-mill evil corporate type, and he was a pretty boring character.

2007 - Raines, TV Series - IMDb

I will write whatever you want if you can get me a download link for this, or somewhere where I can just buy the fucking series, from Ireland. I am desperate to watch it, because it looks fucking awful. Michael Raines is a detective who hallucinates that his victims help him solve the crimes.

Doesn’t that sound so bad? I need it.

2009-2010 - Law & Order: Criminal Intent, TV Series - IMDb

So like, you know the shtick with Law & Order. It’s a gory, stupid crime procedural that’s just really stupid. This one, Criminal Intent, is about major crimes, but honestly, I have little to no idea exactly what a major crime is, even having watched the two seasons in which Zach Nichols is a marauding force.

Zach Nichols himself is... Fascinating. So, you know how there’s this fucking trend of just, mean detective who everyone lets be mean because he’s a ~genius~ or whatever, and everyone is always like “ugh, he fucking sucks, but we gotta let him do that”? That is not the case with Zach Nichols. Zach Nichols is nothing short of a genuine sociopath, continuously manipulative, randomly and without provocation is he cruel to victims, witnesses and criminals alike. At no point does anybody call him out for being terrible, or even admitting he’s being terrible. It’s like no one registers the cruelty of his behaviour, or cares.

Honestly, I expect it’s quite accurate as to the New York police system, and in the mean time, it’s really fucking hot. He’s my favourite of all of Goldblum’s characters, and he disgusts me on literally every level.

2010 - Morning Glory, dir. Roger Michell - IMDb

Morning Glory is... It starts out very bland and uninspiring, but it does grow on you more as it goes on. In my opinion, it would have been better if they’d just tried to bill it genuinely, as a comedy-drama, which is what it is - instead, they tried to shoehorn in a very ugly actor I forget the name of as a love interest for Rachel McAdams, I presume in desperate hope of earning that rom-com dollar. Nonetheless, it’s a cute enough concept - TV journalist gets her dream job running a news studio, and has to get bully and asshole anchor Harrison Ford to be fun and wholesome for the morning show. It’s cute, and I do think it’s worth watching despite some of the issues with it.

Jerry is like... He’s so fucking great. Jerry is just an ass. He’s rude, he’s biting, he’s constantly telling McAdams’ character to make stuff that is impossible work, and he very much eats, breathes, and sleeps his job, while packing in time to jog and to fuck an extremely stupid girl, Lisa, he put in the newsroom, who believes in shit like past lives and angels, and is literally the best character in the movie.

Jerry and Lisa are the fucking greatest, everyone else can go home.

According to the IMDb credits, he has a wife who is unnamed, but like... I have no memory of her even being in the movie, honestly. It’s not the greatest of cinematic works.

2010 - The Switch, dir. Josh Gordan & Will Speck - IMDb

The Switch? Bad concept. It’s about Jason Bateman’s character stealing the sperm donation that Jennifer Aniston was going to use to get pregnant, and then replacing it with his own. So like, off the bat, the whole reproductive rape, grievious sexual assault thing, that the movie... Kinda expects you to view as romantic? Somehow? I don’t.... get it. Apparently it’s okay because their characters are “friends”.

Anyway, moving onto the important part, Leonard, Jeff’s character, is great. He’s go the BDE going on; at one point he’s walking on the treadmill while eating a candy bar, and mocks Jason Bateman for not doing the same; he’s sarcastic, eccentric, and a massive THOT that lets women handfeed him; and, inexplicably, despite being Jason Bateman’s boss, him and Bateman are best friends. 10 out of 10 Goldblums for Leonard, who they didn’t bother to give a last name to.

2012 - Zambezia, dir. Wayne Thornley - IMDb

Egh. Like, even for a kid’s movie this one was pretty bland? The actual design and animation is pretty beautiful - I love the designs of all the wildlife, which is the main focus of it, and that’s really well-done throughout; there’s also a star-studded cast of voice actors. The story is pretty dull, and the script ain’t great, but hey. It’s a kid’s movie, and I think it does what it means to do.

Ajax, Goldblum’s character, is pretty cute - he’s like, a busybody, like the fucking... Toucan or whatever he is in the Lion King. He’s the advisor to the bird king or whatever. That’s... I mean, that’s pretty much it. There’s very little to say here.

2013 - Le Week-end, dir. Roger Michell - IMDb

Le Week-end is fucking adorable. It’s about this struggling middle-aged couple who go to Paris for a weekend to try to rekindle their marriage, and they run around committing shenanigans, arguing, and generally being a little bit adorable.

They meet Morgan, who is an old schoolfriend of Jim Broadbent’s character, and is now like, a best-selling writer in economics, and he invites them for a really stupid dinner party full of really impressive people, which makes both of them feel very inadequate. Jim Broadbent spends a lot of the party with Morgan’s weird teenage son, chatting about how Morgan is kind of a dick, but honestly, Morgan is just... Not self-aware. He’s pretty much in love with Jim Broadbent the entire time, and sings everybody’s praises, then comes to rescue them both at the end.

He’s very cute, kinda selfish, kind of disconnected from reality, and I have a lot of affection for him.

2014 - The Grand Budapest Hotel, dir. Wes Anderson - IMDb

The Grand Budapest Hotel is like... It’s a Wes Anderson film. Egh.

Deputy Kovacs is probably the least Goldblum-y character in any Goldblum role. He doesn’t have many of the verbal tics, and to be honest, he doesn’t even move his hands in the typical Goldblum fashion - if you look at the dinner scene, you can see his fingers twitching as he tries to keep his hand still.

Kovacs has some good lines, but like any Anderson character, doesn’t really have a character.

2015 - Mortdecai, dir. David Koepp - IMDb

Mortdecai is a terrible fucking film, and I despised it. It was just awful, it really was, and Johnny Depp and Gwyneth Paltrow’s characters were each fucking insufferable. It’s about this posh cunt who sells art, and then lots of people try to kill him because he’s posh, and a cunt.

Jeff’s character, Milton Krampf, is the father of Olivia Munn’s character, and Olivia Munn is a nymphomaniac who wants to fuck Johnny Depp. Milton gets like, 5 minutes of screentime, and is weirdly on board with his daughter banging Johnny Depp, but that’s it. If you ask my opinion, they should have had Milton try to bang Depp, and let Olivia Munn be in charge, but like... It was a bad movie. There was no thinking outside the box.

2017 - Thor: Ragnarok, dir. Taika Waititi - IMDb

I mean, what do I even say?

Thor: Ragnarok is like, my least favourite Thor film, but not because it’s not great. Thor: Ragnarok is so much better than most of the other Marvel films put together - it’s fun, it’s snappy, it’s beautifully shot, it has a vision, etc. etc. Taika Waititi’s humour mostly isn’t my thing, but his comedy is so well-ranging and so well-done that like, even if it isn’t your thing, you still get laughs out of his movies. Ragnarok is a great movie - it’s not my favourite for like, Loki’s characterisation, but... Honestly, when you’re watching it, that stuff just falls away. It’s so entertaining and so well done, even if I don’t agree with some of the characterization and story choices.

And the GM, God, he’s... Just terrible. I adore him. You know I adore him, this whole blog is just GM fanfiction. He’s an Eldritch being with unlimited power who forces people to fight in an intergalactic alien arena while shtupping Loki Laufeyson and being too lazy to properly rule a planet. What’s not to love?

2018 - Seth Rogen’s Hilarity for Charity, dir. Ryan Polito - IMDb

Hilarity for Charity was not funny, and was generally very painful to watch. I would recommend you skip through all of the “comedy” except for Tiffany Kaddish and John Mulaney.

At the end of the special, Jeff Goldblum plays the human face of the Netflix Algorithm, and playfully talks about destroying all human life. It’s pretty cute.

2018 - Isle of Dogs, dir. Wes Anderson - IMDb

I fell asleep during this. Like, within a half hour, I fell asleep.

Goldblum is underutilised, but to be honest, so are a lot of the characters - Isle of Dogs is a very weird movie, and I’m a little unclear as to some of the choices Anderson made with it, but visually, it’s a very strong movie, and it’s more enjoyable than most.

I still fell asleep.

Goldblum’s character, Duke, is like, a husky with a cheerful attitude, and he’s constantly gossiping and making shit up. His lines are good fun.

2018 - Hotel Artemis, dir. Drew Pearce - IMDb

Now, Hotel Artemis, not a great movie. The plot is very lacking, the characters mostly cardboard archetypes instead of developed individuals... I think the film has a lot of issues with telling the audience the stuff that could be shown much more artfully, but like, egh.

Despite those issues, Orian Franklin - Niagara - is a very interesting character. He’s in the movie for a very short amount of time (barely twenty-five minutes of screentime, if that) but he’s a really interesting enigma, and I really loved what little they bothered to do with him.

He’s one of those characters that’s much more interesting in fanfic than in the canon.

#as defined by dictionary #jeff goldblum #jgcu #dictionary writes #this is very much under construction lol

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emilieautumnarchives · 3 years ago

Text

Letterbox - October 2002

Below is an archive of EAOnline's Letterbox page, circa October 2002. This was a fanmail answer page.

Archived from EAOnline

Hey Emilie I just saw u and your band play for the first time at the sominage sound gallery 2000 with my favorite local band three quarter sexbolt. I was very impressed. Your band sounds great and you have a very beautiful voice. My girlfriend loved your performance. She said ur outfit was just adorable. It blew mind that you are able to play violin and sing at the same time with so much skill. And the guitar player. WOW! that was impressive, if u get my drift. Well anyways me and my love will be sure to catch another show of yours as soon as we can. Keep up the good work. And keep writing your beautiful music. Best of luck.

Josh

P.S. Does trisha star do your hair. I was just curious it looks like her work . She's gonna do my dreds for me.

Thanks for the lovely words. We quite enjoyed that show - our first entirely lantern-lit performance! Yes, those Three Quarter Sex Bolt lads are delightful. Did you happen to catch the dancing boy who was attempting the daring feat of doing fan-kicks while his trousers were falling off? He ought to get a medal! While my garb is a combination of Enchant C&C and whatever I can pull out of the forest in time for the show, I must admit to doing my hair myself (deadly fear of hairdressers). My guitar player, Ben Lehl, will be glad to hear you liked his performance (sad how little credit the band gets...). Oh, and write I shall, nothing less than six songs per day.

Enchantingly Yours,

I was at the Danville, Il. show and was totally blown away by the perfomance. I knew she was good from listening to the demo, but my god!!! Emilie is really nice too. I talked with her for a while there. I was wondering how I could get information on booking her to play here in Danville again, maybe for a private party instead of an actual show. Thanks for coming here the first time and exposing us to your great music!If someone could help me out with that info, i would greatly appreciate it.

How sweet! I loved playing Danville. An unusual venue, but one of the best audiences we ever had the pleasure of playing for. I am delighted to be nice most of the time as my general cruelty and celebrityesque rudeness is used up on the band backstage. As to booking, I regret to say my schedule rarely allows private parties, especially my own. I do ocassionally play tea parties however for a selection of my favorite (stuffed) animals. With all luck, the tour will take me back to Danville again and we can make the theater into one giant private public party.

Enchantingly Yours,

How is it going you probaly dont now me and I dont know you so we are equal tell me about you wile a tell you about me I'm 10 years old my name is Emilie yes of course I'm in grade 5 see ya Emilie

Well hello. One doesn't meet a fellow Emilie every day, now does one? Did you know that I am planning to tour schools with the intention to play specifically for 5th graders? Perhaps we shall meet then (wouldn't it be shocking if we looked alike?!).

Enchantingly Yours,

Just wanted to say great show last eve. Picked up the "On a Day..." disc (made you sign over your pic - sorry) and it is unbelievable. Very much looking forward to the new LP (Chambermaid, incidentally, might be the best song of all time). Hey - the Chicago Reader needs to do a story about you. I'm not connected to them in any way, but I know they accept submissions from the public at large. Your bio on the disc was quite intriguing - so I figured I would check in on the matter. I'm quite the decent writer - so let me know. Tim

You are too kind and I am veritably blushing! Should you wish to write anything such as an article, interview, etc., you have my personal permission to contact my management, RAM, at [email protected]. They will be happy to speak with you.

Enchantingly Yours,

#letterbox #fanmail #eaonline #enchant era #pre-enchant #pre-enchant era #2002

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thefemalethatwrites · 7 years ago

Text

Lantern (Connor Kent/Superboy x Lantern!Reader)

Request: No.

Prompt: You’re a Lantern Ring user that joins the Young Justice Team.

Relationships: Father! Hal Jordan/Green Lantern x Daughter! Reader, Connor Kent/Superboy x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, Attempt rape, Attempt Murder

Word Count: 5176

A/N: Idk what I was thinking with this one...Enjoy. I’ve feel like I’ve not uploaded or been active in SO long.

~~~

(Y/N)'s POV "Green Lantern. What are you doing here?” Robin asked as my Dad and I entered through the Zeta tube,

“Team, this is my daughter" Dad introduced me to the mini-leaguers,

"Hi" I smile,

"Another girl!" Martian Manhunter's niece squeal as she came over to me, "Hi. I'm Miss Martian but you can call me M'Gann" she introduced,

"Well hello beautiful" Kid-flash, aka Wally West said as he stood in front of me,

"Hello Wally" I smiled,

"I assume you'll all make her feel welcome and make her feel a part of the team" Dad said, they all nodded

"You don't need to worry GL, I'll make her feel right at home" Wally reassured as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder,

"I'm sure you will Kid. I'll see you later" he said leaving through the zeta tube, I sighed and removed my ring revealing my identity,

"My name is (Y/N)" I introduced,

"You trust us?" Aqua lad asked as they all were shocked, I nodded

"I know all of your identities and backgrounds, yes even yours Robin. And the ring takes a lot out of me" I explain, they hummed

"Plus, I don't actually look like this" I say mentioning myself, they all raised an eyebrow

"Then what do you look like?" Robin asked,

"Classified...For now" I smirked,

"No matter beautiful. I'll show you around" Wally flirted,

"Aw how sweet" I smiled as he wrapped an arm around my waist,

"However, I think I'll have Artemis and M'Gann show me around" I say getting from his hold and in between the two girls, "Us girls should stick together after all" I winked as I placed a hand on each of their shoulders, M'Gann smiled and Artemis smirked,

"I like you. Come on" She chuckled as they guided me through the mountain.

***

“Alright. Can someone explain to me who this wizard wannabe is?” I asked as I shielded the team, minus Robin, and Mr. Nelson from his magic,

“She doesn’t know who I am?! Everyone knows who I am!” He whined stopping his attack, I raised an eyebrow and dropped the shield

“You must not be that much of a problem if the Lantern Corps haven’t heard of you” I commented as a small smirk pulled at my lips,

“How dare you! I’m Klarion! Lord of Chaos!” He yelled as he stomped his feet,

“Awh has baby Klarion lost his dummy” I teased as I pouted,

“Lantern. This is no place for you teasing” Kaldur scolded, I shrugged before bubbling us again as Klarion attacked again,

“I want that helmet!” He yelled,

“Guys. We’ve got company” Artemis informed us as another man approached us,

“Klarion. I have the helmet” He said, I narrowed my eyes as Klarion stopped and smiled

“Give” He demanded, I dropped the bubble and flew over taking the helmet off them,

“Argh! I’ve had enough of you girl!” Klarion screamed,

“Artemis!” I yelled before throwing the helmet to her as Klarion shot some magic at me, it hit me sending me on to the floor,

“Lantern!” The team yelled, I groaned as I propped myself up on my arms,

“No, don’t lose it now” I muttered, Klarion chuckled as he came over to me,

“What’s wrong girly? Not strong enough?” He tormented, I glared at him, his eyes widened in fear, “What? That’s impossible! You can only be one colour!” he shrieked as he back away,

“Not with me” I retort as a large red hand slammed him into a wall as I got up, I flew over to Wally and Mr. Nelson just as Mr. Nelson was hit with some magic,

“Come on old man. Don’t give up on us now” I say,

“Just give me the helmet and all can be done” Klarion called over, then we teleport to the roof with a bubble around us, I raised an eyebrow

“How are you more than one Lantern colour?” Wally questioned,

“Not now” I replied,

“No, now” Wally demanded, I grabbing him by the collar of his shirt,

“The old man’s just died protecting us. So, use that brain of yours and do something!” I snapped throwing him on the ground, I noticed the bubble breaking so I stood in front of Wally and the helmet, the bubble broke making Klarion laugh before send a large force of magic towards us, I threw up a shield which broke in a matter of seconds making it hit me and knock me unconscious.

Superboy’s POV

Doctor Fate came back with Lantern unconscious in his arms, my eyes widened as I went over to them and took her in my arms, Doctor Fate removed the helmet revealing Wally,

“Now what?” I asked,

“I keep the helmet safe” Wally answered, I raised an eyebrow as Artemis scoffed,

“I meant about him” I reply mentioning the other criminal,

“You look after that. You can barely look after yourself” Artemis tormented as we left the building,

“(Y/N)?” Green Lantern called over as he noticed her form in my arms, “What happened?” he questioned as he checked over her,

“Nothing. I was sleeping” She growled as she got out of my arms,

“Don’t get snappy with me young lady. I can easily remove your rights as a Green Lantern” He threatened making me raise an eyebrow,

“Try it old man. It won’t end well” She hissed before stalking off to the bioship, I raised an eyebrow and followed, boarding the ship to get back to the mountain.

We arrived back at the mountain and headed towards the main room,

“So, you want to explain the whole changing colour thing?” Wally snapped, (Y/N) sighed removing the ring

“I would rather explain when the whole team’s here, so I don’t have to explain things twice” She replied,

“Well, the whole team’s here now. What are you explaining?” Robin asked as he made his presence known,

“She’s not a Green Lantern” Wally informed,

“What?” Robin questioned, clearly confused as the rest of us

“Yeah. She turned into a Red Lantern while we were against Witch-boy” M’Gann explained,

“If you all shut up, I would explain” (Y/N) snapped gaining everyone’s attention, she sighed, “You’re right. I’m not a Green Lantern. I’m a Phantom Lantern. That means I have access to all of the different corps powers. I was granted this ring because I had shown that I had great control over my emotions and had good intentions” She explained, we all stood in our places staring at her, “If you don’t want me on the team, I’ll understand” She muttered, lowering her head avoiding everyone’s gazes

“What are the different corps?” Kaldur asked, she looked up, raising an eyebrow

“Well the Black corps are fueled by death. Red Lanterns draw on rage. Orange Lanterns draw on greed. Sinestro Lanterns, aka Yellow Lanterns, draw on fear. Green Lanterns draw on willpower. Blue Lanterns draw on hope. Indigo Lanterns draw on compassion. Star Sapphires, aka Violet Lanterns, draw on love. White Lanterns use life” She explained,

“Nine corps? That’s why the ring takes a lot out of you, isn’t it?” I asked, she nodded giving a small smile.

***

(Y/N)’s POV

“Hey loser!” A cheerleader called over making me stop as she and her posse approached me, I noticed M’Gann within the crowd in her human disguise, I hummed, “What do you call this grade?” The squad leader asked as she dangled a piece of paper in front of me with a large red ‘C+’ in the top right corner,

“A pass” I replied making her face turn sour before pushing me into the lockers, I noticed M’Gann wince,

“A pass? Don’t get cocky with me, Nerd. If my parent’s are going to pay for me to go to the best university in the country, then I need to be getting ‘B’s at the least!” She snapped pinning me by the throat making me drop the folder I was carrying, I remained quiet making her scoff and throw me to the floor, “What? Nothing to say?” she spat,

“Hey! Leave her alone!” A male voice called out to her, I looked in the direction it came from to see Connor stalking down the hall towards us, “Hey babe” M’Gann smiled as she approached him,

“Megan, love. Please tell your ‘babe’ to stay out of my business” The leader ordered,

“No one orders me around. So, leave her alone. And get on with your cheer leading” Connor stated,

She scoffed rolling her eyes, “Let’s go girls. You got lucky this time” She hissed before leading the posse, including M’Gann away, I narrowed my eyes at their retreating figures before a hand came into my view, I looked up to see Connor with a small smile, I took his hand and he pulled me to my feet then handed me my folder,

“Thanks” I mumbled, pulling up my bag straps, he nodded

“What was she after anyways?” He questioned,

“I didn’t get the grade she wanted in her homework” I answered avoiding his stare, he hummed,

“Connor Kent” he introduced, I looked towards him to see him extending his hand towards me,

“(Y/N) (L/N)” I introduced shaking his hand.

***

“Out of all the places. This is the worse one” I commented as I created a small mug of hot chocolate,

“Not a fan of the cold?” Artemis asked as she approached me, I shook my head,

“Hate it. With a passion” I replied before I heard the ice cracking as Artemis’ eyes widened, she pushed me out of the way as she went to shoot the alien device but was vaporised right in front of me.

“Artemis!” M’Gann screamed as my brain register what just happened, I growled getting up, forging a large red sledge-hammer and letting out a yell as I hit the alien device out of the ice,

“Lantern! Get back to the ship!” Kaldur ordered as I shielded myself from its blast, I sighed and ran to the bio-ship, I got inside and was met by M’Gann wailing and Wally throwing a tantrum,

“Shut up!” I snapped as I attempted to get my rage under control,

“Shut up? Our friends have just died!” M’Gann argued as she squared up to me,

“Exactly. That’s why we have to find wherever these things are coming from and blow it up” I demanded as I looked around at the team, she scoffed

“Do you not care?!” She screamed, my eyes snapped back to her as I back her against a wall,

“If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t be here” I sneered,

“Artemis is dead! Because of you!” She retorted and jumped as I punched the wall beside her head,

“You think I don’t know that? I would have been more than happy to be vaporised than spend another moment being judged by you” I growled as I removed my hand and walked to the far end of the ship, away from everyone.

***

Connor’s POV

I groaned as we all came out of the simulation, I was met by Wolf making me smile slightly as I stroked him,

“(Y/N)?” Artemis questioned gaining my attention, (Y/N) was still unconscious on the table,

“(Y/N)?” Green Lantern repeated as he approached her,

“Don’t wake her. It’ll cause much more damage” Martian Manhunter ordered,

“Why isn’t she waking up?!” Green Lantern snapped,

“Her ring” I muttered,

“What?” He asked as everyone’s head turned to me, I sighed,

“Her ring. It’s a phantom one, it allows her access to all the lantern corps” I informed him, his face fell

“Why didn’t she tell me?” he muttered, I shrugged

“She’s a Black Lantern. That’s the one fueled by death. She died beside me and Wally” Robin stated,

“How do we get her out then?” Kaldur asked as we all formed a group around her,

“You’ll be doing nothing. This is our fault. We’ll fix it” Batman demanded as the rest of the league nodded, “Send us in first” he ordered Martian Manhunter as he, Wonder Woman and Superman prepared themselves.

***

After a couple hours and many failed attempts, I sighed as the Green Lanterns came out of the simulation,

“How is she so strong?” They questioned,

“That’s it. Send me in” I snap standing up abruptly,

“Connor, don’t. You’ve seen how easily she’s beaten the league” M’Gann said as she stood up,

“They’ve fought her. She needs talking to” I retort as I prepared myself,

“Are you certain about this Superboy?” Martian Manhunter asked as he appeared above me, I nodded, and I was placed into the simulation,

I saw (Y/N) in a black version of her usual suit as destruction and the corpses of the league surrounded her,

“(Y/N)” I called over gaining her attention, her head snapped in my direction as she prepared herself for a fight but dropped it,

“Connor…” She trailed off, looking at her surroundings, “What’s happening?” She asked, I slowly approached her

“The League put us in a simulation, that was meant to fail. When we died, we were brought back into the real world, but your ring kept you here” I informed,

“None of this is real? I haven’t killed the Justice League?” She questioned, I nodded, she looked at her ring and fiddled with it before sighing and removing it.

(Y/N)’s POV

I gasped as I sat up,

“(Y/N)!” Artemis yelled as she tackled me with a hug, which was shortly joined by Wally, Robin, Kaldur and M’Gann, I sighed in relief as I returned the hug the best I could, we broke a part and I stood up,

“Lantern. I would like to apologise on behalf of the whole league” Batman said as he approached me with Dad, Superman and Wonder Woman at his sides,

“Apologise? Do you even know the danger you placed us all in?! What went through your head to think that placing teenagers in a simulation that would be emotionally straining!” I snapped,

“(Y/N), if I knew about-”

“Don’t even give me that crap! If you knew about my abilities, you wouldn’t have placed me in the simulation, but you would have done for the others!” I snapped cutting Dad off,

“Lantern-”

“Shut up! I quit!” I yelled as I headed towards the zeta-tube,

“Quit? You can’t abandon your duties as a Lantern! And if you do then you’ll still have me reminding you” Dad called after me making me stop and turn to them,

“You’re more stupid than I thought if you think I going to still with you after this” I sneered making his face drop, I glanced towards the team, “It was fun while it lasted” I say before leaving.

***

“Hey!” The usual cheerleader snapped as she slammed me against the lockers, “Changing your appearance, isn’t going to stop us knowing that you’re a nerd!” She commented, I raised an eyebrow

“And how are you sure that it wasn’t the nerd appearance hiding what I really am?” I asked as I pushed her backwards, her eyes widened as she backed away from me into the group of jocks,

“Are you okay?” One of them asked her, she shook her head and pointed at me, they all turned to look at me,

“What have you done to her?” Another asked as he squared up to me,

“I stood up for myself” I answered as I squared up to him, his face turned dark before swinging for me, I blocked it and raised an eyebrow at him, “I’m curious, what was you planning after you hit me?” I asked as a smirk pulled at my lips, he growled shoving me backwards as I was surrounded by the group of jocks, I hummed “Before we start. Would anyone like to leave?” I questioned none of them moved so I got myself into my fighting stance.

Connor’s POV

I heard cheering and gasps as I made my way to my locker making me raise an eyebrow and pick up my speed, I was greeted by a large crowd, I pushed my way through and came to the centre where (Y/N) was fighting the football captain, with blood running down the side of her face, while the rest of the football team was lying on the floor unconscious,

“(Y/N), stop!” I demanded as I restrained her from attacking the beaten and bruised male,

“No! Let me go!” She growled as she fought against my grip,

“Ha! Can’t even finish what you’ve started without your boyfriend getting involved!” He scoffed, (Y/N) stopped momentarily and somehow managed to break free of my grip, she tackled him to the ground,

“He’s not my boyfriend” She snarled giving him a punch to the face for every word, which caused him to go unconscious, she took a deep breath and stood up, “Anyone else?!” She asked looking at the crowd, no one moved so she picked up her bag and barged her way through the crowd,

“(Y/N) wait!” I called after her but was stopped by M’Gann pulling my arm, “What?” I asked,

“That was Lantern” She whispered, I raised an eyebrow

“What makes you assume that? We haven’t seen her in five months” I questioned,

“Her fighting style, it was an exact replica of Lantern’s. And she has the same name” She explained, I narrowed my eyes at her,

“You went into her mind, didn’t you?” I asked, she avoided my gaze, “Didn’t you?!” I repeated raising my voice a little, she winced and nodded

“I had to make sure I was correct” She reasoned, I shook my head

“You knew not do so! (Y/N) made it pretty clear that she doesn’t want any of us interfering with her citizen life” I snapped,

“Connor, I know but-”

“But nothing! I’m going to go find her” I yell cutting her off and leaving to find (Y/N), I found her on the bleachers,

“What do you want Connor?” She asked looking in my direction,

“I came to check on you” I answered sitting next to her, she rolled my eyes

“Why would you do that? You should be helping the others” She retorted, I sighed

“(Y/N), you’re bleeding, and bad” I stated as I moved her hair from her bloody face, she swatted my hand away,

“I’m fine. Now tell me what’s on your mind, Kent” She demanded making my eyes widen,

“I know you’re Lantern” I replied, she sighed tilting her head backwards,

“Took you long enough. Wait, let me guess. M’Gann told you after she went into my mind” she commented, I slowly nodded

“You knew she went through your mind?” I asked, she chuckled

“She made her presence known” she answered before standing up, “Well, I best get going” She announced,

“Going? Go where?” I asked standing up abruptly, blocking her path, she sighed,

“Don’t worry Connor, this isn’t the last you’ve seen of me” She said giving a small sad smile, “You’re also being manipulated by M’Gann” She informed before walking off,

“What?! Hey! You can’t just say that and leave!” I yell chasing her, “(Y/N)! Answer me!” I demanded, she stopped momentarily turning slightly,

“Goodbye Connor” She replied before continuing her way.

***

(Y/N)’s POV

“Phantom!” Angela yelled as she tackled me with a hug, I sighed unlatching her from me,

“What have I told you about yelling that name in public Ang?” I asked as I folded my arms and leaned against the wall, she sighed

“Don’t. But what else am I meant to call you? I don’t know your real name” she argued,

“That’s for the better. Trust me” I retort, a chuckle came from behind us,

“You say that every time, P. You’re gonna have to tell us eventually” Jesse commented, I turned slightly to the two males,

“Yeah, that’ll be when I leave” I reply,

“Babe!” Angela cheered as she leaped into Gerald’s arms, I rolled my eyes,

“Ang, you get any news?” I asked,

“Hm? Oh, yeah. There’s one going down tonight” She answered,

“Very well” I hummed,

“Let’s hope the police don’t bust it before we’ve had our fun” Gerald commented, Jesse nodded in agreement.

***

“You know the drill” I state as we entered the party, they all nodded, and we went our separate ways, Gerald and Angela headed to the dance floor, Jesse headed towards the bar and I was on the stairs/balcony getting a good vantage point on everyone,

‘Blonde girl stumbling with brunet male, heading towards you Jesse’ Angela said through the mind link,

‘I got them doll’ Jesse replied,

‘Keep the pet names to yourself’ Gerald snarled,

‘Awh, sweetheart. Are you getting jealous?’ Jesse taunted,

‘I’m not my brother! Therefore, I’m not your sweetheart!’ Gerald snapped,

‘That was uncalled for!’ Jesse retorted,

‘Enough! Focus on the task at hand’ I ordered,

‘Sorry, Phantom’ They both replied, I raised an eyebrow as a hooded figure made his way towards Angela and Gerald, I was then distracted by two males ‘escorting’ a female to one of the rooms,

‘Angela. I need a hand with this one’ I requested, she made her way up to me,

“Which room?” She asked as I lead her in the same direction as the males,

“This one” I answered as I kicked the door opened seeing the two males unbuckling their belts,

“What the-?” They were cut off as Angela and I pulled them away from the obviously drugged female and on to the floor, Angela comforted the now crying female as I beat the crap out of the two males,

“Don’t ever think it’s okay to rape” I snarled as I straightened my outfit, I turned to Angela and went to say something but was cut off by a scream, Angela’s eyes widened as she rushed out, I followed her we stopped at the balcony and saw that everyone was leaving as the hooded figure stood over Gerald with a katana,

“Gerald!” Angela screamed as ran down to them,

“Angela no!” I yelled after her, I tackled her to the ground as the hooded figured shot an arrow at her from the crossbow they were now holding as well,

“Let me go! Gerald!” She cried, I watched the hooded figure leave so I let go of Angela who immediately rushed to Gerald’s side, closely followed by myself and Jesse,

“What the hell happened?” Jesse asked,

“Where the hell were you?! He needed your help!” Angela yelled squaring up to him before blue lights appeared,

“Sh*t the cops. You two go. I’ll get Gerald safe and given some medical attention” Jesse ordered, I nodded and pulled Angela out of the building and away from the cops.

***

I arrived at the Shulkin’s clan mansion, aka Gerald’s house, along with Angela and her older brother Jack, Gerald had to become part cyborg to sustain the injuries he had received, we approached his older brother, Hans, who had been the hooded figure attacker,

“What do you want?” He sneered looking us in disgust, Angela said nothing but gave him a large smack across his face leaving a hand print, he raised his arm to hit back but I caught it,

“Think very carefully of your actions. You deserved that smack because you almost murdered your brother” I warned as I stared at him,

“Almost?” Hans questioned pulling his hand from my grip, a chuckle came from behind us making us turn to see Gabe, Jesse’s older brother,

“Yes almost” he smirked,

“What have you done?” Jack demanded as he stood in front of Angela, Gabe shrugged and chuckled before evaporating into his smoke and leaving, “Son of a-Come on lets go” Jack ordered as he pulled out his gun and lead us out of the grounds, our exit was blocked by Gabe, who was resting a shotgun on his shoulder and a smirk plastered on his face, Jesse, who had his hat tilted forward showing one red eye as he held his pistol with a cigar in his mouth, and Gerald, with glowing red eyes and Katana in the holder on his back,

“Gerald” Angela said as she reached out for him only to be held back by me as Jack held a protective arm in front of her,

“Stay back” Jack demanded which made Gabe’s smirk widen, Angela freed herself and ran up to Gerald hitting his chest as she cried, she stopped and looked down to see that Gerald had impaled her with his katana,

“Angela!” Jack yelled, as she staggered backwards into his arms, I stared at Angela before growling and attempted to get the three of them but somehow Jack was managing to hold me back,

“Jesse finished them off” Gabe ordered, Jesse nodded

“With pleasure” He replied, my eyes widened as I ripped my ring that was on a chain around my neck and put it on before shielding the three of us from his ‘dead-eye’ shot, I un-bubbled us and hovered in front of them,

“Get Angela some medical attention” I ordered, Jack nodded and carried his sister to safety, Gabe began laughing

“You’re a Red Lantern?! This is why you couldn’t tell anyone your name?!” He howled, I raised an eyebrow

“I’m not just a Red Lantern” I corrected as I changed into a White Lantern, making their eyes widen “And I’m going to enjoy kicking your arses” I smirked.

***

I was sat at Angela’s hospital bed as she laid in a coma, Jack sat in the chair opposite me and was currently asleep, I sighed as I shifted slightly before Angela stirred, I sat up straight raising an eyebrow,

“She must have sensed you come in” I commented turning to see Gerald, he stood at the foot of her bed with wide eyes,

“I…I did this” he muttered, I stood up and went over to him,

“You did but it isn’t your fault, it’s whoever was mind controlling you alongside Jesse and Gabe” I reassured placing a hand on his shoulder, a small groan came from Angela making me turn to her

“Gerald…” She mumbled, a smile pulled at my lips before nudging Gerald towards my seat.

***

‘Think we can get through this without drama?’ Jesse asked making me roll my eyes,

‘Ha! No way’ Gerald replied,

‘I think tonight could be our night’ Angela commented, I raised an eyebrow as my eyes drifted across the crowd of drunk adolescences, my breath caught in the back of my throat when I came across a familiar face,

‘No way…’ I thought,

‘Hm? What’s up, Phantom?’ Angela asked, I turned my back on the balcony railing and sighed,

‘Nothing’ I answered,

‘If you say so…’ She trailed off,

‘Phantom, there’s a dude here looking for you. Black hair, blue eyes’ Jesse informed,

‘What does he want?’ I asked,

‘Dunno, he didn’t say’ he answered,

‘He says he’s an old friend and wants to talk’ Mercy answered, I turned back around to see him talking to Gerald and Angela,

‘Tell him I’m not here’ I ordered,

‘Erm…he says he knows you’re here’ Gerald replied,

‘Of course, he does. Tell him I’ll meet him out front’ I sighed,

‘Wait, you know the guy?!’ Jesse exclaimed,

‘Yeah’ I answered as I made my way outside, I took a deep breath as I approached him,

“Y’know when I said we’ll meet again, I meant that I’d find you” I say announcing my presence to him, he turned around and gave a small smile,

“It’s good to see you too (Y/N)” Connor said as he approach me, I hummed

“Why are you here Connor?” I asked,

“I’ve been trying to find you for the past 7 years” He stated, I folded my arms sighing, “And you’ve been in Gotham the whole time?” He commented letting out a breathless laugh,

“I’ve been in Gotham for the past year. I’ve been here and there for the other 6” I retort,

“(Y/N), why’d you leave in the first place?” He asked, I raised an eyebrow scoffing,

“Are you serious? I left because the league used the team” I snapped,

“It’s changed, Nightwing and Aqua-lad call the shots now. We’re our own team. The league don’t interfere anymore” He argued,

“I don’t care!” I yelled, I sighed running a hand through my hair, “If you’re here to get me to come back you might as well leave” I say, he dropped his head

“(Y/N)…please. Everyone misses you” He pleaded, I raised an eyebrow

“No, they don’t. M’Gann hated me be-You know what I’m surprised if that she’s not here with you” I say,

“We’re no longer together. She’s with Lagoon-boy” He informed,

“Finally realise that she was manipulating you?” I asked, he nodded slowly, “Oh…That still doesn’t change my mind Connor” I say,

“(Y/N) please. I need you” He pleaded again but that pulled at my heart, “It hasn’t felt the same since you left. It’s like there’s a hole” He continued,

“Connor…I can’t…I can’t leave my group here” I sighed,

“Yes, you can!” I heard Angela yell making me look over to them with a disapproving look,

‘Listening on my conversations now?’ I questioned,

‘(Y/N), you’ve helped us all. So, let us help you. You can go back wherever you came from and we’ll continue the work that you started’ Angela bargained,

‘Are you all sure? I’ll still make visits’ I say,

The three of them laughed,

‘You bet partner’ Jesse confirmed,

‘I agree’ Gerald reassured,

‘Of course! And you can only make visits if you bring your boyfriend along’ She taunted,

‘Angela! He’s not my boyfriend’ I defended,

‘Oh, come on. It’s obvious you have buried feelings for him’ She retorted, I sighed shaking my head as I looked back at Connor, who had hope written all over his face,

“Fine. I’ll come back” I say, a smile burst onto his face as he tackled me with a hug, I lost my balance for a few seconds but returned it, as a small smile made its way to my face.

***

I was stood in the launch bay alongside a couple other members of the team, waiting for Connor to arrive back after the mission, the bioship landed, and members began to file out, M’Gann exited shortly followed by Connor making me smile, while she was greeted by Lagoon-boy, I ran past them, tackling Connor with a hug, I let out a small laugh as he spun me around,

“I wasn’t gone for that long” He commented setting me down,

“What can I say? It was boring without you” I smiled, he returned it before his eyes drifted to Lagoon-boy and M’Gann kissing, I sighed as I turned his gaze to me, I slowly made my way for his lips, nervous of the consequences, he closed the distance between us making me smile as I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer as his hands were on my hips, ensuring that there were no space between our bodies, we pulled away out of breath and smiled at each other,

“Hallelujah!” Dick cheered making us jump apart, “That tensions been there forever!” He commented.

#dc #DC comics #Young Justice League #Superboy #super boy x reader #connor kent x reader #connor kent #kon-el #green lantern

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xme-reboot · 6 years ago

Text

XME Reboot

Chapter 47: Grounded

Nothing is as it seems.

The night was still. There was no distant sound of cars on the road, or chirping of birds, or even rustling of leaves.

And then, suddenly, light- a blinding, yellow flash that burst from the Institute and enveloped it.

As quickly as it came, it went, and there was stillness once again.

Sunlight would filter into the room, the early morning rays tinted a soft green as they came through the curtains. Jean sat up, took a good stretch, a waggled a hand for her brush as she left the bed. She would start changing, pausing.

Her brush had remained unmoved from it's spot on the nightstand. She waggled her hand again, frowning sharply.

It didn't move so much as an inch. And she was suddenly aware of the quiet. "...What....?"

There was a THUNK a few doors down. "OUCH!"

She would exist her room, hair still disorderly, slightly dazed and half dressed. "Wha...?"

Kitty was pressed against the bathroom door. She was utterly flummoxed, and kept trying to get her hands through, but couldn't seem to.

Jean picked up pretty fast, brow knitting together when she realized she couldn't just... KNOW what was wrong. "Y-You too?"

"I..I don't--"

CLUNK-THUMP

"OW! WHAT?!"

Todd had attempted to wall jump.

He had failed. This was horrifying to him.

"Wh-What is HAPPENING!?" Jean asked, moving quickly to him. "N-none of our powers are...?"

"Where's the professor?" Todd asked quickly, shakily standing up.

"I... I don't know." She replied. "I... Guess we have to track him down?"

This was so... weird.

Kitty started down the stairs. "Professor?!"

"I'm down here!" He called, in the lobby.

Jean moved down quickly. "Wh-What is going ON? None of our powers are working!"

"Yeah man!" Todd said, "I-I was tryin' to jump around and I just...I couldn't stick!"

Things would only get more OFF as Pietro joined the scene.

Slowing from a run.

Out of breath.

Todd gestured wildly to him, utterly aghast.

"Right, we're calling a meeting." Xavier said, hand moving to his temple. He would pause mid reach, suddenly realizing. "Ah... I'm going to need all of you to gather everyone..."

"O-of course..." Jean replied, shaken.

Most everyone started to file downstairs quickly, after realizing themselves that their powers weren't working. Fred had tried to lift the couch. He was horrified when he could not. Lance was on said couch, stunned by this and the fact that his frustration hadn't even triggered a SLIGHT rumble.

"So why are we having a meeting?" Kurt would ask from the second floor, climbing onto the banister.

"KURT NO--" Jean told him, Kurt hopping off.

He would very, VERY quickly realize he couldn't port to a solid landing, flailing suddenly. "WEH!"

Fred dove forward. He caught Kurt in his arms, grunting slightly with the effort required. It still wasn't much effort, but now Fred could actually feel the effects of lifting something so light, and it was, again, horrifying.

Kurt hadn't needed to be caught since he was tiny, first learning to climb and balance. It was... off. Sobering? He couldn't place the emotion. "..O-Oh. That's why."

"WHAT IS GOING ON," Kitty asked loudly in exasperation.

"Mph." Rogue would approach, still in a sleepy daze. "So noisy this mornin'..."

Pietro paused for a moment, longer than he'd ever paused before. He would then stroll over, suddenly cupping her face.

There was a pause, Rogue's eyes widening when Pietro DIDN'T keel over. "... HOLY SHIT."

"PROFESSOR?!"

“All of you, just relax! We can't figure this out if we panic!"

"Guys-- GUYS!" Scott called from atop the stairs. "What is going ON? You know it's Saturday, don't you?"

Rogue looked to him, pull away from Pietro and stroll to Scott. "...Scott. Don't freak out." She would then steal his shades.

His eyes were closed and covered immediately. "Rogue, what are you doing?!"

"Just open your eyes." She said, tugging off her glove and gently, hesitantly, taking his arm. "It'll be okay."

The touch startled him. Scott paled considerably when he realized Rogue was...

He took a deep breath, lowered his hands, and opened his eyes.

It was normal. Everything was normal.

He looked shell-shocked.

"Our powers...None of them are working.." She explained, slightly shocked herself. She couldn't help but smile though. This whole thing was scary but.. somehow liberating?

Jean turned to Xavier, whose brow was creased in worry. "We need to find the root cause of this, how many of us were affected..."

"By the looks of it, all of us," Logan was coming into the room to join them.

He had a small band-aid on his face. This elicited a sharp gasp of shock from the students.

"WHAT IS HAPPENING!? WHY THIS!?"

Ororo shook her head. "I can't even summon a breeze." She confirmed, Xavier's eyes narrowed. "... We need to find the root cause of this. All of you..." He looked to the gathered X-men. "... Just... live as normally as you can, for now."

They all looked around, exchanging uncertain glances.

Normally?

"I'm gonna call S.H.I.E.L.D," Logan was the first to start away, "I don't like this at all."

And so they began to disperse, Jean taking a deep breath. "Alright, well! They'll.. they'll figure it out soon, you'll see." She said, trying to keep positive. "And until then we... make the best of it."

Pietro scoffed, sulking off. "Easy for you to say..." He grumbled. Everything had been dragging all morning. His feet, his thoughts. In frustration, he picked up the pace, starting into a trot, then a run, then a sprint.

He growled when his lungs started to ache.

NONE of this was okay.

Pietro's mind was racing, but even then it was too slow. Thoughts took an eternity to form, it seemed. He scowled, turning and deciding to look for Evan. He hoped it didn't take too long to find him.

"And you just woke up like that?" Evan was talking with Augustus, standing in the doorway of Auggie's dorm.

The younger mutant was sitting on his bed, looking utterly exhausted. "Yeah, it's like...I dunno. Like someone punched me in the head."

"Evan!" Pietro slowed his run, glancing in. "... What's with him?"

"He had a rough night." Alex was with Auggie, too, frowning slightly, his eyes narrowed in concern behind his bangs. He'd been attempting to tell him about the 'meeting' but, well. He'd gotten distracted.

"I think it might be a side effect of what's going on,' Evan hypothesized. He gave Auggie a sympathetic look, then moved out with Pietro, "We'll let the Professor know, alright? Take it easy."

"Y-Yeah. Thanks…”

"Yeah. Just tell me if you need something!" Alex told him, Pietro watching a moment longer before keeping after Evan. "... So. How are you taking this?"

"I mean, it's...weird," The understatement of the day, "But probably a lot better than other people. What about you?"

"I...." Pietro scowled, reaching and grabbing his hand. "I hate this."

Evan nodded, "I figured."

"I'm slow! I-I'm tired! It takes so long to even form a thought!" He flailed his free hand. "It took ten minutes to find you-- do you know how LONG that is!?"

Evan chuckled a little, "Welcome to my world, dude."

"How do you DO this?!" He asked. "I-I feel... God I don't even know! Slow and clumsy and stupid and!" Pietro's free hand would grab his scalp, nails digging in.

Evan squeezed his hand, "Stop that. Pietro, it's gonna be okay."

He took a deep breath, shuddering on the exhale. He knew finding Evan was a good idea. "... What... What if our powers don't come back?"

"...Then," Evan pulled him close, "We'll get through it. Together."

Pietro gripped Evan tight, huffing sharply. "Yeah... Guess we will, huh?"

~~~

"Could it be a bio-weapon?"

Fury and Logan were talking on the phone.

"We dunno, Fury. Everything looks normal so far, but..."

"I see..."

Coulson was furiously searching through the base's records, eyes narrowed. "Do we have any record of anything LIKE this...?" He muttered.

Xavier, with Logan, was rubbing his temple. "What... what did he offer?" He asked, not used to having to ask the question.

"They dunno yet," Logan muttered a reply to him.

"Have you felt any negative side-effects?" Fury asked.

"One kid got a little sick, but nothin' deadly."

"Ask them if anyone's changed to something more human? Like their blue folks." Coulson offered. He had no idea if that information would help, but it would be SOMETHING.

"Has anyone's appearance changed?"

"McCoy’s did. That’s about it. Nothin’s working."

Xavier shook his head. "Not even the slightest, side powers... Bobby commented on it being cold." He told Logan. It had been a moment of shock for the lad.

"What I'm tryin' to say, bub, is that it's like we're...'

'Human." Fury finished, "Hm...Well. I'll send a team over to investigate. You all hold tight."

Coulson shook his head, gathering files. "Quite..." He said, poking his head out and searching the hall for a free agent.

One woman passed him, her nose buried in a clipboard.

"Ah! Excuse me!" He called, waving her down.

"Oh! Yes, Agent Coulson?"

"Can you take these things to my office Miss..." He would glance to her name tag. "Romijn?"

The woman nodded quickly, "Yes, sir."

"Thank you. Just leave them on my desk."

"Don't leave the school,' Fury was saying, "Keep yourselves safe."

"Can't imagine they WOULD sir." Coulson offered as he ducked his head back in. "Without their powers well... It would be too dangerous. They wouldn't stand a chance."

Fury nodded gravely.

This didn't bode well.

"So." Jean started, looking over the duo. "I... Guess this must be nice?"

Rogue smirked slightly, jacket tied around her waist and arms bare. "I mean. You could say that, yeah."

Scott was still looking around. He hadn't seen colors aside from various shades of red since...well. "This is...wow." That was all he could say, really.

Jean sat across from them, smiling slightly. "Well... at least one good thing came from this?"

"No kiddin." Rogue nudged him. "Wait til ya see what outside looks like."

"Oh man!" Scott paused, "Do...Do you think we should? I'm not sure if it's safe."

"Not safe HOW? We'd still be at the Institute."

Scott knew that still wasn't enough. They had to be cautious.

But...it had been so long since he'd seen a blue sky.

"...Maybe if we just step out on the porch for a little while."

"Of course!" Rogue gave Jean a slide glance.

Jean just offered a smile. "I can't see much going wrong on the back porch."

Scott smiled at them. "Well, alright. Just for a little bit."

"Great!" Rogue stood, offering her hand. On instinct, Scott hesitated. But he didn't hesitate long. He took her hand gently, standing.

"Man..." They started out, Jean smiling softly. "Been YEARS since I could do this."

At least SOMETHING good was coming out of this mess.

"I know," Scott said, "It's... I forgot how much I missed this."

"I know. It's so... Wow." She'd forgotten how different skin to skin could feel. "This is just... Incredible. And man, it must be nuts for you."

Scott chuckled, "It's just...yeah." When they stepped outside, Scott's breath caught. He was speechless.

"Heh." Rogue watched him. "Nice?"

"Beautiful..."

"Heh... Yeah." She replied, giving his hand a squeeze.

He was able to tear his eyes from the world and looked to her. His eyes softened. "...You know," He smirked playfully, "There are other colors besides black and purple."

She perked, sputtering a laugh before managing a scoff. "ARE there?" She asked.

Scott couldn't play along for long, breaking out in a laugh, "Y-Yeah!"

"I can't believe you became a color expert so fast."

"Hey now," He ruffled her hair, "I used to see like everybody else, you know!"

"HAH~" She waved him off. "Yeah yeah. What colors would YOU suggest, huh~?"

Scott thought about it for a moment. He reached and stroked a bit of Rogue's hair, "Maybe...Blue?"

"I-I, uh...I'll give it a shot~" She said, running her thumb over his hand.

"Cool...cool." He realized the uncertainty- would he get to see that? How long was this going to last? His smile faded.

Rogue perked, free hand clenching slightly before she stroked his cheek. "Hey. I... know this could end at any time. But... We can enjoy it for now, right? And... Maybe work towards somethin' like this when it goes away?"

"Like...like this?"

"Ya know, this whole...control angle Prof's always talkin' about. Cause, not gonna lie? I wouldn't argue bein' able to do this more often."

"Well...I'm sure you could. I know you could," Scott said, "But, uh...not me." He ran a hand through his hair, and when his fingertips brush the familiar scar at the back of his head, he shivered a little. “What happened to me is permanent.”

"Mm..." She would take his other hand. ".. We'll figure somethin' out. For now.. Let's just enjoy this?"

"Yeah..." He squeezed her hands. "Let's."

Jean was back inside, stirring tea for herself, TV on low in the background. It was so... odd. Not having other's thoughts and feelings at the edge of her mind.

"Heeey," Kitty sat beside her, "How ya feelin'?"

"Oh! Kitty, you uh. You startled me."

"...Oh my god, that's weird."

Jean managed a laugh. "I guess it must be, huh?"

"Eeyeah," Kitty chuckled. "So...What's it like with all the quiet?"

"It's... It's odd. I know I'm not home alone but.. It feels like I AM."

"Whoa."

"Mmhm... How about you? What's it like having to find the door?"

"Eh," Kitty shrugged, snickering, "It's not all bad. Sometimes I forget, but...It actually wasn't that long ago that I was a 'human', y'know?"

"Mm... That's true, isn't it? We've all grown so accustomed to them but, save for a couple cases, we were all 'human' once.."

"Heh...Yeah." Kitty got quiet.

That was so weird to think about.

"... Do you think we'll go back? To having powers again? Being 'mutants'?" Though she supposed that, technically, they were still mutants. They just... lacked powers.

It was odd.

Kitty shrugged, "I...dunno. I hope so."

"Do you?" Jean smirked slightly. "I remember a time you weren't keen on this whole mutant business."

"Well," Kitty grinned, "I think I got the hang of it."

"You did! As your senior x-man, I am glowing with pride~"

Kitty bowed dramatically. "I am honored."

"As you should be! Now." Jean would chuckle. "How about we have some tea, and put something on. A little distraction won't hurt anything."

"Oh!"

Ororo was sitting inside, staring out the window and the light snowfall.

She waved a hand; the snow continued to fall. "I don't know WHAT I expected..."

"Habits die hard," Hank told her.

She chuckled, patting the spot beside her. "I'd forgotten what it was like to have the elements not bend to my wills."

"Ha! What a transition that must be!" Hank sat beside her, "...I don't like this. I mean, I'm...I'm grateful to look like this again, for however long. But there's something seriously wrong."

"There is. Something caused this. And I can't stand that we don't know what...or even who."

"Well...I suppose we have options to pick from," Hank sighed quietly.

"We do, don't we... and to think, all of this started out so simple." As simple as it could, she supposed.

"And now here we are."

"Quite... What do you make of all this, Hank? Losing our powers, what makes us Mutants?"

Hank looked out at the snow. He thought for a while. "...Honestly, I...don't quite know what to make of it. Whether this was some sort of-of weapon attack or..."

"No matter WHAT the cause, it's troubling." Ororo offered him a slight smile. "And I hate to say I've no idea how to handle this in the long term."

"Hoo...Me neither."

"Mmm. Well." Ororo gave him a slight smile. "At least we have each other?"

He returned it. "Quite right! We'll get through this all together, I should think!"

She chuckled, appreciating the enthusiasm. "Don't we always?"

"Well, uh, usually!"

"Often enough. ... You know. We don't usually have quiet moments like this. How about you show me some of the basics of knitting?"

Hank's face lit up. "I'll go get my yarn!"

"I'll be here. Perhaps brew some more tea while you get it."

"What an excellent idea-- Ooh! How about we start a whole knitting circle! Let's get some of the kids in on this!" Hank was far too excited.

"An excellent idea! I'm sure a couple of them could use something else to do today." She chuckled. His enthusiasm was contagious.

"-- so then I started thinking," Augustus was feeling a bit better it seemed, though he was still exhausted, "What kind of parents could hate their kid for something they can't control? So I left."

"Man... " Alex replied, having been listening with rapt attention. "That sounds like it was rough dude."

"Yeah, well..." Auggie chuckled, shrugging, "That's how it is.'

"I'm sorry dude." He said, pausing a moment before taking his shoulder. "You didn't deserve any of that."

Augustus gave him a small smile. "No one does...But. That's why I'm here, isn't it?"

"Yeah.. Guess so. H-hey. If you ever need me for anything like, ya know, to talk. I-I'm around, haha..."

"Hey, man, I appreciate--" The phone on the nightstand buzzed. Auggie grabbed it quickly. As he read the messages, his face grew distant, and he paled a little.

Alex's stomach clenched. "Auggie? Are you okay?"

Augustus pocketed his phone, and he was quiet for a moment. He put a hand on Alex's shoulder, "We're friends, aren't we?"

"Y-yeah! Of course we are!" He replied, perhaps a bit too quickly.

"Good. I need you to trust me," He squeezed his shoulder, "Alright?"

Alex perked, nodding slowly. "Y-You got it."

"I need you to help me get out of here."

He had to pause. "... W-Wait. Why do you wanna LEAVE?"

Auggie grunted. "I...I'm..." He swallowed hard. "I've been playing two sides."

Alex had to swallow the sudden lump in his throat. "Y.. you WHAT?"

"Alex, listen!" He pleaded quietly, grabbing both his shoulders, "I-I didn't want to! She's...she's gonna..." Auggie's hands shook.

Alex bit his lip, looking over him.

He couldn't handle him looking like that. "Okay, okay." He replied, taking his hands. "Tell me from the top. What happened?"

Auggie sighed in relief. "I was supposed to be feeding intel to...her," He shuddered a little, "But I can't-- I can't do this anymore."

"Her WHO?" He asked. "A-And of course you can't, you're a good guy!"

"I can't say, okay! She'll...she'll hurt me," He muttered, leaning closer, "I need to leave so I can break clean with her. I don't want you or anyone else here getting hurt."

Alex frowned sharply. "... Y-You could stay. I'm sure Prof would understand..."

"If I stay, she's going to destroy you." Augustus's tone was firm. "Please, Alex. I need you to trust me. I'll come back."

"I..." He squeezed his hand. "... Okay. I... I'll help you." Alex gave him a slight grin. "But you BETTER come back, okay? Or I'll have to find you." He couldn't voice his fears. This was hard enough for Auggie already.

Auggie smiled. "I promise."

"Okay... I'll... I'll help you sneak out tonight."

"I knew I could count on my Alex."

Alex couldn't help but flush. "H-haha.. W-well. Ya know~"

Auggie released him, "I need to take care of a few things. Can we just...keep this between us? Until things are resolved."

"You got it. It'll be okay Auggie, okay? We'll get through this."

"Heh...I believe that."

Miles away, Wasp was gearing up. Her suit was in place, gauntlets tested.

If something was depowering mutants, then by God she was going to figure out what it was.

"Wasp," Fury greeted her as he entered, "You don't need to do this, you know. We have plenty of capable soldiers along if things get dicey."

"Don't worry Sir, I'm well aware." She gave her wings a test buzz.

Fury's mouth twitched, and a small line formed between his brows. "I'm not sure I want to put you at such a risk, Wasp."

"I'd argue I'm always at risk. Besides! Gauntlets have a back up sting, and we'll know how big the impact zone of whatever made them use their powers was, yeah?"

"...I suppose you're right. Just be careful."

"Aren't I always?" She asked, smirking slightly. "... Maybe don't answer that."

He held in a chuckle. "Good luck, Agent. Wish I could be there myself, but..."

Since Trask had disappeared, Fury had been very, very busy.

"Don't worry sir!" Wasp stood straight, giving him a salute. "I'll represent us well, AND get to the bottom of this!"

"I know you will."

"And if it makes you feel better, I'll check in every fifteen minutes." She half teased.

"On the dot." Fury insisted.

"Hah. Understood, sir."

~~~

Xavier sat in the front room, staring out the front room. It was odd, to wait on someone and have no idea when they would arrive. Logan and Hank were by his side. "When do you, uh, think they'll arrive?" Hank asked.

"I don't know."

"Surely they won't take too long?" Storm asked, behind him.

"Mm.."

"Perhaps we should round the children up," Hank suggested.

"Probably... Ah." A ship would land on their lawn, the S.H.I.E.L.D. logo emblazoned on it's side.

Grunting, Logan went to open the door for them. Hank started upstairs to round everyone up. "Everyone! Let's get down to the living room!"

Wasp would approach, taking them in. "Professor Xavier!" She greeted, stopping before the porch.

A small team trailed behind her, already scanning the property, some with a type of reader. A few moved inside. Logan side-eyed them, and out of habit gave a sniff.

"Smell anything?" Wasp asked, frowning slightly. "Or are your powers still down?"

"The latter. At least in my case." Xavier told her.

Logan shook his head slightly. "Nothin'." He grumbled.

Augustus peeked his head around the corner. He wasn't seen, at least not yet. It came close when a S.H.I.E.L.D agent moved past him, scanner in hand. He went white.

Time for a change of plans.

"Alright. They'll be checking around, and know better then to try anything." Wasp assured. "And if they DO try anything, well." Her wings buzzed to life. "They won't again. Now, I'm going to do an overview on your roof." And with that, she excused herself to do just that.

Augustus quickly darted away.

Wasp would land on the roof, surveying the property and calling in. "There. Fifteen, just as promised."

"What's your status?"

"No trouble, so far. Everyone's still down. I'm-" She paused, suddenly.

Wasp had done a test 'sting', to see how damp her powers were.

But her sting had been full power. "... I'm... not affected?"

"...Hm." That was unusual.

"Either I'm some sort of anomaly, or we're not barking up the right tree."

"Could it be something in their food?" Fury suggested, "I can't imagine any sort of disruptor would be able to be THAT specific..."

Another thought occurred to him.

"...Maybe a mutant could, though."

She perked. "Sir?" She asked, suddenly on edge.

"I want you to be on alert. Make sure all Institute residents are in sight."

"I'll have them gathered and keep personal watch." She told him, eyes narrowed. "I won't let anyone leave."

"Kids!' Hank opened the back door. Scott, having heard the ship land, had already risen to come in, but he still jumped a little in surprise at the sudden appearance of his teacher. "We're all gathering in the living room."

"Right," Scott turned, "I'll go round up the others."

Rogue nodded, bumping his shoulder. "Me too. Meet you there?"

He smiled. "You bet."

"Good." She started up the stairs, deciding top to bottom would be best.

Alex was the first she found, in a corridor's doorway. "Alex! Downstairs, we're meeting in the living room."

"Oh! You got it!"

Augustus grimaced. He tried to, silently and as quickly as he could muster, move down the hallway before Rogue could see him.

"Auggie!" Too late. "Having a meeting, living room!'

For a second, he was rigid. Then, slowly, he turned. It was Rogue.

He decided to work with this.

"So. What's it like?"

".. I'm sorry?"

"Being in control." He smiled. "Nice, right?"

Her eyes narrowed slightly. "What are you talking about?"

He sauntered up to her. Augustus took her chin. "What's it like being able to touch people again?"

She jerked back away from him. "What is- what are you doing?!"

"Can't you see that you're so much better off this way?" Augustus asked, "Wouldn't it be fantastic to remain this way? Forever?" His smile widened. "I can do that for you."

Rogue paused. ".... Augustus. What are you playing at?" She asked, fists clenching.

"I'm not playing," He told her. He stepped closer, "What I'm offering you is a chance to feel normal again."

"Augustus." She replied, sharper. "How could you-" She jerked, suddenly, realization dawning. ".. You... you didn't. You didn't do all this."

He chuckled. "I can shut down all kinds of systems- electronic, muscular, vascular, respiratory...And, as a matter of fact, mutations."

She took a deep breath. "Be willin' to bet you've known 'bout yerself the whole time."

"I know a lot more, too. Like...that your mother really misses you."

Rogue stiffened. "You keep away from Irene, you hear me?!" She shot back, not even realizing her feet had slid into stance.

Augustus laughed. "I'm not talking about her! I'm talking about...Well." He offered his hand. "Maybe if you come with me, I can just introduce you, Anna Marie."

She stared at the hand a moment. Then, coldly. "I ain't going anywhere with you."

A little shrug. "You'll come around. We're practically made for each other, you know."

Rogue's reply was to quickly turn down the hall. "PROF!" She called, running down to the living room.

She didn't notice Alex pressed in the doorway, fists clenched tight, biting his lip hard.

Logan was the first to meet her. "Kiddo?!"

She almost ran into him, grabbing his arm and yanking. "A-Augustus was a mole! He did this!"

"What!" Hank was just making it to them.

"WHERE IS HE?" Logan demanded quickly.

"Back down the hall, this way!"

Logan took off at a run, but stopped suddenly, curled in on himself and cried out. "AAAUGH!"

"Logan!"

Six metal claws tore their way through his knuckles.

Rogue's eyes went wide, and she scrambled back, suddenly grabbing for the jacket tied around her waist. "No... Oooh nonono..." She muttered, quickly turning tail to the living room. "GUYS!!"

Hank ran after her, but soon he, too, was halted as the tendons in his limbs flexed, and a guttural roar escaped him. There came a loud blasting noise from the living room, and shouts.

Alex had wandered into the living room, eyes blurred with tears.

He was now staring at Scott, shell shocked as he realized he'd taken a blast from his brother.

Jean would have been of some help, but she had suddenly stumbled back against the wall. Emotions and thoughts assaulted her, almost too fast to keep up with.

Scott couldn't stop. He had managed to direct his blasts into the wall and ceiling, but he couldn't turn them OFF.

"Scott-- AAH!" Kitty now found herself falling through the floor. Lance jerked for Kitty, and suddenly a rumble shook the Institute, Lance unable to stop it. Nearby there was another scream, and suddenly smoke and fire. Ice quickly crawled down the hallway, coating half of it behind a thick block.

Wasp was on the comm. "I NEED ALL UNITS MAKING A PERIMETER!" She barked, followed by about ten other orders.

The Institute was in absolute chaos, as everyone's powers jump-started and spiraled out of control at once. Thunder cracked, the wind howled, and a torrential downpour of rain and ice buffeted the old mansion and rocked the S.H.I.E.L.D ship outside. Furniture and walls and ceilings were ruined as bone spikes impaled them. Then, everything started to float.

Professor Xavier could feel every mind at once. It was almost too much, too much information to contain. Amid the chaos, Xavier felt someone he didn't know. He checked quickly, finding Augustus.

And then, just as suddenly, nothing. "H... he's gone..."

Just as quickly as the chaos had started, it stopped. Everything fell back down into place, then there was silence. Everyone was exhausted; it had felt like they'd all suddenly gotten the mother of all sugar-highs, then crashed thirty seconds later. Poor Kitty managed to crawl her way out of the floor before collapsing in a heap.

Needless to say, the poor Institute was looking a little worse for wear.

"Wh-what was THAT?!" Kurt managed, Pietro slumping onto the couch.

"That!" Wasp started, heaving a sigh and running a hand through her hair. "Was likely a 'restart' on your powers coming back."

Hank picked himself up, blue and furry once again. Luckily his glasses had survived the transformation. "I-Is everyone okay?" He called. He got many groans in response, plus a, "The carpet's ruined," "My whole body just had a cramp," and a couple, "Jesus H Christ's."

"I think a couple of me got lost." Poor Jamie meekly responded amidst a pile of himself.

Storm shook her head, Wasp groaning and calling in. "Agent Wasp here."

"Report."

"It was a mutant. The X-men had a spy in their ranks." She grunted, rubbing an arm. "He escaped in the chaos of everyone's powers returning."

Fury grunted. "Great. Secure the area, make sure everyone is accounted for."

"I'll get info on anyone who ISN'T to you as soon as possible."

"Good. I want you to interview the witnesses. Figure out who he was working for."

"Understood. I'll..." Wasp looked over the group. "... I'll get to it soon as they get themselves together."

Augustus had run, far and fast, and hadn't stopped running until he reached the city. He had to brace himself on a wall- he had already been entirely spent from the previous night, and combine that with half an hour of sprinting and he was sure his body was going to give up.

He had wanted to steal one of their vehicles, but it would have taken too much energy, too much time.

Mercifully, he was able to wave a taxi down.

"Where ya headed?" Asked the driver.

"Take me home," Augustus wheezed.

The car pulled back into traffic. There was a flash of yellow eyes in the rear-view mirror. "As you wish."

#XMEReboot Chapters #x-men fanfiction #marvel fanfiction

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the-beatdown2 · 6 years ago

Text

Black Maple

@waveofthehand

(closed for @waveofthehand but thanks for checking it out :D)

The night outside was chilly but the sky was clear. Ricky hopped off his skateboard and grabbed it outside the cafe, stepped off to one side and setting it into his backpack, zipping it up. The top wheels stuck out a bit, but the board would be out of the way. He shouldered his backpack again and headed inside, glancing about the place.

It was nearly full at this time of night, everybody wanting something to keep them warm, cool, or awake. Ricky sniffled from the chill outside and made his way over to stand inside, tucking his hands into his jacket pockets. The lad standing in front of him held onto a massive book, and it looked as if he couldn't quite get a hold of it. Ricky quirked an eyebrow but managed to suppress his smirk by biting his lip. Don't they make fancy eBooks nowadays for that? The line moved up one, but the guy still had his nose in the book, having somehow managed to fumble about and turn the page, and Ricky just couldn't resist talking with him.

"Crammin' fer an exam?" he asked the stranger, light as a feather and polite.

Mitochondrial analysis promises to be the next frontier in--

Alex jumped, startled by the voice behind him. The book tumbled out of his hands and landed face-down on the tiled cafe floor. The angry Mandrill monkey on the cover of Recent Advances in Evolutionary Biology stared back at him, fangs bared. He cursed under his breath as he bent over to pick it up, praying it hadn't landed in a puddle of coffee.

"Something like that," he mumbled to the still-unseen stranger behind him as he examined the pages of the book for damage.

Ricky found himself leaning back on his heels, raising his eyebrows. "Right..." It looked like the stranger had it all under control, so Ricky didn't bother bending down to help him. The monkey on the cover was...a little alarming, but Ricky could appreciate the color scheme.

"What're ya studyin', t'en? Science 'n t'ings?" He probably should just let the guy read on in piece, seeing how nervous he was, but something about that made Ricky want to talk to him more. Maybe help him calm down, a little.

Alex jerked his head back up, shaken out of his concern for his book by the stranger's voice. It was a beautiful voice with a simply enchanting accent. He pushed his thick-rimmed glasses back up onto the bridge of his nose to get a good look at him.

Oh...oh no, he's extremely hot.

Alex felt his face turn deep scarlet even as he opened his mouth to answer. "Y-yeah. Evolutionary biology. At USF--um, the University of San Francisco."

The guy had a massive flush looking at him, and Ricky didn't even bother to hide his toothy smirk in response. USF?

"A bio man! I go teh USF s'well, fer Information Technology. I'm graduatin' here in a couple'a weeks, actually, but small world, huh? T'ought t'ere'd be a mix o' students 'round here, but..." He eyed the guy's book and gestured to it. "Didn' mean teh startle ya, by t'way. Name's Ricky." He held out his hand, even though the line was moving up another few people behind the guy.

Alex shuffled the thick textbook, feeling awkward as he stuffed it under his arm. It pressed against his ribs as he thrust out his hand. "Alex," he said as he shook Ricky's hand. It was soft and warm, which probably meant that his own was cold and rough. "I'm a grad student. So it'll be a while before I graduate," he said, laughing weakly.

"Ohh, see," he took his hand back and had his hands back in his pockets quick as he could, "I t'ought about goin' t'at route, but I figured my degree's good enough fer me, it should be good fer t'e workin' world s'well!" He nodded. "T'at's smart of ya, t'ough. Biology's got lotsa complex t'ings worth learnin'. Ya goin' fer a Doctorate, t'en?"

"Yeah," Alex said. "I just finished my Masters last semester, and--"

"Sir?" The barista called out to him. "Are you ready to order?"

"Oh!" Alex whirled around, his messenger bag smacking against the wooden display of mugs and bags of coffee. The stand rattled, but Alex said a silent thanks that nothing fell over. "Yes, I--could I please have a maple latte?"

The barista nodded and rang him up. He.knew he was supposed to go wait by the other counter, but he hovered around the register anyway, for...no reason in particular. His cheeks were burning as he watched Ricky walk up to the counter too. He was probably wasting his time, the guy was probably just trying to make conversation to pass the time in line...

"What can I get you?" the barista asked Ricky.

Ricky reflexively reached out toward the stand anyway, a sympathetic smile sliding across his features. He shook his head after the shaking stopped and waited his turn, then gave the lad a look as he walked up to the counter, an amused smile.

"Pint o' the black stuff, Sam, if ya please. Y'know, if I were t'say that back in Ireland--"

"They'd hand you a pint of beer, I know." The barista took his credit card from him and swiped it with a smile.

"Oh," Ricky retorted, "sorry, have ya heard t'at one before?"

"Yeah," she said, "from /you/. Black coffee it is." She handed his card back and Ricky pulled out his wallet to place it back inside.

"Yer Masters?" He continued with Alex, as if they hadn't paused. He set his hand on the guy's upper arm and said, "Let's move on and chat over t'is way, shall we?"

Ricky's hand was warm even through Alex's sweater. He managed to suppress a shiver, though just barely, as Ricky steered them over to the pick-up counter.

"Yeah, well, you know...you have to finish your masters before they let you sit for PhD qualifying exams, and. Well, I got through it as fast as I could, but it still took me a year and a half. I'm sitting quals in a few months, so I've just been cramming nonstop, and..." He paused to take a breath, suddenly remembering what his therapist had told him about making conversation. Both people have to get a chance to talk, Alex, she'd said, in that gently admonishing tone of hers. "You're about to finish your bachelor's?" he asked.

Hearing this lad-- Alex-- talk was exactly like visiting his parents back home. No words in edge-wise and absolutely too fast for anybody else to understand them.

"I t'ink at t'e rate yer goin', you'll do jus' fine wit' yer exams." He became aware of his board in his bag, the weight of it against his back. Ricky rolled his shoulders. "I am, t'nks for rememberin'. S'only been about four years, but it feels like it's been ages, really. Have ya been studyin' here t'is whole time? I'm a transfer student meself." Somebody tried to move around them for their drink that Ricky hadn't even heard been called. Must've been from earlier. He leaned out of their way with a small nod.

"I went to undergrad in Georgia, where I grew up. But I got out of there as fast as I could," Alex said with a weak chuckle. His cheeks were still burning and now Ricky was leaning towards him, just moving out of the way of another customer, but he was closer than before and Alex was acutely aware of it. "And then I got an assistantship here, and I've always wanted to come to San Francisco, so...it just made sense."

Ricky nodded to show he was listening, his wide smile turning into something gentler. "Yeah, t'is is a great city, isn't it? I've visited a couple'a places on the east coast, but.." He shrugged his shoulders, "I jus' like t'e feel o't'is place.

Okay, now, follow up on something he said...gotta keep it going or he'll get bored and stop talking to me... "Where did you transfer from?" Alex said.

“I studied for a year a Cork Institute of Technology? It's a pretty big place, but I got t'e opportunity teh exchange over here, an' now..." Ricky shrugged, "I been here about t'ree years, now, I figured I might s'well stay fer a little while. America's got /lots/ of t'ings we don't have back in Ireland."

"Maple latte?"

"Me!" Alex said, too loudly. He reached for the coffee, feeling sheepish, and slipped a sleeve around it so he wouldn't burn his hands. He turned back to Ricky (how does a red scarf make someone look so good? Or does he look just as good without the scarf? Probably that). "I was just gonna sit at the table, if you wanted, or, or maybe I'll see you around campus." He was lying, of course, because he'd intended to go straight back to the library, but it was Friday night, so...on the off chance that this hot Irish guy wanted to talk more, he wasn't going to refuse.

Ricky thought for a moment, glanced out the window just to check the street for anything interesting or important. He'd sort of wanted to meet up with the lads tonight and have a few drinks, but maybe he could still do that and talk with this social grad student. Get some life advice, or something, even though they couldn't be more than a few years apart in age.

"I'm sure now t'at we've met we'll notice one anot'er walkin' around campus. But I could stick around fer a little while, I t'ink. After t'at I'll let ya get back teh studyin' yer monkey book, t'ere."

He took his backpack off his shoulders and checked it was still zipped. Handle cradled in his fingers, he reached up and pulled his scarf down a little, making ready to stay inside in the warm for a bit longer than he'd intended.

"Coffee, no room." A different barista said. Ricky thanked the guy and picked up his cup, content to deal with the temperature. He even had a sip right then, the sting something of a trial to surpass.

"Sorry," he muttered, walking towards the tables and hoping the grad would pick one for them to share, "but will ya remind me yer name? It's late, t'at's why I need t'is, see?" He raised his coffee cup with a bit of an apologetic smile, had another drink.

"We never exchanged names," Alex said, sliding the wooden chair out from under the table. He winced as it squawked across the floor, resisting the urge to cover his ears. Looking up at Ricky as he sat down, he said, "But my name's Alex."

"Alex, t'at's what it was." Ricky sat down across from him, setting his bag between his feet on the floor. I suppose he doesn't remember shaking hands, then, either? Ricky had another sip of his coffee. "I'm Eric," he reiterated, "er Ricky, whichever strikes yer fancy." He knew that awkward silence would probably come up more than once, so he tried front-loading the conversation.

"Is studyin' t'e only plan ya got lined up fer t'e week-end?"

Alex looked down at his coffee cup. The steam riding up from it meant it was probably still too hot for him to drink. "Yeah, probably mostly reading," he said, looking back up at Ricky and forcing himself to look into his eyes. What color are they, even? Hazel? Green? Hazel-green? "I don't know, I might play a game or something too. I still have my Super Nintendo from when I was a kid."

Ricky raised his eyebrows, leaned forward in his chair. "You've got a Super Nintendo? We had a hard time waitin' t'get ahold o' those when I was younger. They didn't reach Ireland for a little while. I only had internet in my house when I turned abouts 15." The coffee was a comfort, at least. He had another sip. "T'at's a good way t'spend a week-end. Nice and quiet, keep ya outta trouble t'at way." He gave Alex a smile. "At least, t'at's what it'd do for me."

Oh, his smile... Alex was immediately convinced that Ricky's smile was somehow better than any other smile. And it was directed at him, or at least it was directed at his Super Nintendo, which was close enough. "You can come play it if you want, I have like fifty games," he blurted out.

Ricky had been focusing on spinning his cup, keeping his hands busy while he sat there, but at Alex's words he looked up again.

"Woah, t'ere, lad," he chuckled, "I appreciate t'e offer, truly do, but ya would' say it's wise t'go 'round invitin' anybody inte yer hame. We barely know eachot'er, don't we?" He tilted his head, glanced away, "'Specially in Cali, s'not so wise."

"Right, yeah. Of course, you're right," Alex said quickly. His whole face felt hot now, but with embarrassment. But Ricky hadn't gotten up yet, so maybe he could still salvage the discussion. He really, really didn't want Ricky to get up. What would Sarah say? Redirect the conversation to a new topic... "What do you like to do besides studying?" Did he already say what he liked? Not yet, right?

The fishing around for things to talk about was endearing. He really was making an effort to chat. Ricky readjusted in his seat, his bag moving to lean up against his leg more than stay propped up between them.

"A bit o' t'is, a bit o' t'at, I should say. Drawin', mostly, and sometimes video games, s'well. I dunno, I'm not too interestin'." He took a drink and remembered, "oh, shite, except I do work. I work around goin' t'school, wit' the campus ITS." That was what took up most of his time, he was a little confused about how he'd failed to mention it sooner.

"Drawing! You draw? What do you draw?" Alex's grip tightened around his cup in excitement. "What do you like to draw? Do you have a sketchbook? Can I see it?"

Ricky chuckled, low in his throat, and scratched the back of his neck. "I draw people mostly, but it's all..." he waved a hand toward his backpack, where he did carry his sketchbook and his thin laptop. "It's rough. I'm more of a painter, actually. I like paintin' a fair deal."

"Wow, really?" Alex grinned, his nervousness temporarily forgotten. "I love art. I mean, I don't draw or paint or anything, well, sometimes I try, but I'm really bad because I don't practice, but I love looking at art," he said. Babbling again. "Sorry," he added, "I get excited sometimes." He picked up his maple latte and took a tiny test sip. It was warm, not hot, and sweet like maple candy. "Do you have any pictures of your paintings?"

#ricky #alex #waveofthehand #starter

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