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samwhump · 8 months ago

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a (very inexhaustive, wincest-heavy) sam whump reclist

@transfemmesam asked me for Sam whump recs a few days ago, and I've had other requests in the same vein before (I can't imagine why.../s) so I thought I would throw this together, since these authors deserve all of the love and support for their contributions to our li'l fandom corner.

like I mentioned in the title, this is not at all a comprehensive list; I have at least ~200 more fics in my to-read queue that could thematically fit here, but alas, I have stupid shit like a job and a body and a dog to take care of, so. I'm always happy to get recs along these lines, so if you notice anything important missing, hit me UP. (and don't take any omissions as any specific commentary by me -- it's likely I just haven't had the chance to read it yet, haha.)

disclaimers:

some (most, honestly) of these contain potentially triggering and dark content, including but not limited to rape/noncon, torture, and suicidal attempts & ideation. I have tried to note content warnings where applicable, and most of the works are hosted on ao3, so the tags should have most of the information you need to make an informed decision. that being said, tread with caution. all of the summaries provided are from the original author, with warnings added after by me.

the list is in alphabetical order and separated into wincest and gen categories. a lot of the gen is also focused on the sam & dean relationship, because...I am what I am. and what I am a sucker for these two dipshits. there is also a brief section at the end with a few fics that don't fit into either category.

gen

All That Goes Unspoken by amnesiawife:

A case forces Sam to confront something long kept buried. (Set nebulously in season 12.)

CW: discussions of past rape/noncon, victim blaming

Beneath the Trees 'verse by Lise (5 works total, starting with Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees):

Sam doesn't go to Stanford. Everything goes downhill from there.

CW: suicidal ideation

a boy is a cage by ad_castra:

After expelling Gadreel from Sam's body, Dean thinks they're in the clear. If only they were that lucky. // S9 fic wherein Gadreel's grace causes some adverse side-effects in Sam's mind.

CW: past referenced rape/noncon, body horror

body of proof by Askance (doomcountry):

There are things Sam hasn't told his brother. They're all in the envelope laid on Dean's pillow.

CW: heavy discussion of past rape/noncon

break these bones 'til they're better by redskyatmorning:

After Sam’s torture at the hands of the British Men of Letters, the latest in a long string of violations, he is rescued by Dean and Mary – and forced to ponder his broken relationship with his own body. Months later, when Sam is resurrected and tormented by Lucifer yet again, Dean confronts Mary and Sam gets his revenge against the devil.

catching my death (staring out an open window) by ad_castra:

Sam gazes at the window, catches the faint pink hue tinting the sky. It’s so realistic - he could breathe in the fresh air if he were really here. ----- They got Sam out. Sometimes, just knowing that isn't enough.

CW: implied past rape/noncon

Death of Convenience by WilsonTheMoose:

It should have been easy. Wendigos are no joke but daylight slows them. The weather's been unpredictable though and perfect, idyllic hunts don't exactly stay that way where they're concerned. Or Sam has one card to play and never stops to think that Dean would care if he killed himself.

CW: suicidal ideation, references to suicide

Echoes of Hell by The_Nightbreaker:

It wasn't real. He wasn't in Hell anymore. That's what he tried to tell himself over and over. But two centuries of torture don't disappear in a day. Sam struggles with visions of Hell, fighting to maintain his grip on reality. Dean hates that he can't protect his brother from what isn't real—but curse him if he doesn't try. When the boys stumble on a case with ties to the Devil himself, will they be able to pull themselves together in time to stop the sacrifices? Or will the echoes of Hell finally overtake them? Aka, season 7, but the plot is Hell trauma, not leviathans.

CW: suicidal ideation

Evening Shadows by withthekeyisking:

Sam is hallucinating the monster who tortured him for nearly two centuries, Dean feels like he's failing his brother, and a diner waitress bears witness.

CW: past rape/noncon

Everything Dies Given Time by Lise:

AU from 5.03. Sam discovers something wrong with himself, and learns to live with it. Only a lot less functional.

CW: suicide/temporary character death

The Freedom to Be Loud by jribbing:

It hadn’t occurred to Dean that maybe Sam remembered so much about that little nowhere town because something memorable had happened there.

CW: referenced past rape/noncon

golgotha by redskyatmorning:

There’s a vacancy on the throne of hell, and Sam is desperate enough to save Dean from Michael’s possession to give into the abyssal depths of his own darkness.

Head Space by ameliacareful:

A witch curses Sam leaving him blind, deaf, and bedridden. Left with only the inside of his own head and the occasional touch, Sam begins to unravel.

CW: suicidal ideation

Hiraeth by inkandpaperqwerty:

(n.) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past "Dean... I made a really big mistake." For a second, Dean actually thought things were going okay. He was out of Hell, Sam agreed to stop drinking demon blood, they had just wrapped up a successful hunt... for once, everything was okay. And then it wasn't. "I overdosed." Not at all.

CW: suicide attempts, suicidal ideation

if i could leave (i would've already left) by serendipity0930:

“I have a mission from God for you,” the Angel whispers to the man. “It is time for you to do what you were born to.” The man’s face twists into a smile, delighted over being chosen by Him, a purpose from God digging into his heart, carving out a place to fester. “Hunt.” ... 05x03 AU where Zachariah is even more determined to keep the brothers apart and hunters are all too willing to take Lucifer's True Vessel off the board for good

CW: referenced suicide

It's A River (But Not In Egypt) by Lise:

He's still a liar. Maybe always has been.

CW: toxic Sam/Lucifer dynamics

Kindred Instruments by PinBitch:

They’re in a tug of war and Sam is the rope. He doesn’t need to be alive for that. OR Sam dies in detox, being flung against the walls of a metal box will do that to you. Dean and Ruby pick up the pieces.

CW: temporary main character death, permanent supporting character death

lazarus trick by katsidhe:

Sam's alive, so everything is gonna be okay. 13.22 coda.

Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence by Lise:

Sam's back. He's in one piece. That's the problem.

CW: self-harm

love is like ghosts by redskyatmorning:

I’m poison, Dean had said instead of I’m sorry. Well, Sam wants to say, what does that make me? What the hell does that make me? (A look into Sam's mind in the aftermath of the Gadreel possession.)

The Other Brother by RadioFriday:

Sam and Adam are pulled from the cage at the same time. Sam is not right, and Adam, stuck as his caretaker, is not pleased.

Oxygen by inkandpaperqwerty:

“Cas! Cas, please! Please, answer me! Cas!” Castiel ignores Dean for several minutes, but then Dean gives him an opening that might help him complete his mission. So, he goes to investigate, and what he finds is a very bloody, nearly dead Sam. Dean tells him where the injuries came from, and Castiel quickly becomes confused. It doesn't make sense, but Dean tries to explain it to him, and slowly... Castiel begins to understand.

CW: suicide attempt

Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc by AmberSock:

Sam waits, kneeling, for his execution. What if Dean hadn't missed?

CW: temporary character death

Safety In Distance by GalaxyThreads and SpiritClusters:

The Mark of Cain is a brand of violence. Sam was an idiot to think that he'd be exempt from it, just because he and Dean are siblings.

sometimes a kind of singing by adi_rotynd:

Sam gets cursed. They're dealing with it. Jack can see souls. That one they're not dealing with quite as well.

CW: past referenced rape/noncon

Soul Windows by GalaxyThreads and Spirit Clusters:

A few months after his birth, Jack learns how to see souls. Then he comes to a realization about the Winchester brothers, Sam in particular, and it's not a pleasant one. (gen)

Starry Night by keepcalmsmile:

Sam attempts suicide-by-monster. Dean tries to help. It sort of works...until it doesn't.

CW: suicide attempts, suicidal ideation

such fragile, broken things by The_Bookkeeper:

Sam wishes that Dean would just get it over with already.

The Tale of Sir Galahad by keepcalmsmile:

Sam once said he could never be clean like Sir Galahad. Dean assumed he was just talking about the demon blood. Turns out, Sam was talking about something else too. WARNING: Extended discussions of the aftermath of rape and childhood sexual abuse (but NO description of the actual events). Happy(ish) ending, but potentially very triggering.

CW: past rape/noncon, mentioned CSA

They Hammered in His Teeth by jribbing:

Sam has a secret.

CW: suicidal ideation

today's troubles (are history tomorrow) by a_good_soldier:

"It's not really something I know how to share," Sam had said. In which Dean figures he ought to help Sam out a bit.

Touch and Go by themegalosaurus:

Tag to 9.19 (Alex Annie Alexis Ann) in which Dean realises why, exactly, Sam is so angry about what happened with Gadreel.

trust fall by ad_castra:

“I’m nothing like you,” Sam hisses. Nevermind relating to the anguish of going it alone. Nevermind that he knows what it is to be strapped down and forcibly cleansed against his will. Sam wonders if these trials are purifying Crowley as well.

Words Like Glass by broken_cinders:

Dean never figured the cage wouldn't leave a mark. He was prepared for memories, flashbacks, and nightmares. He wasn't expecting the words Sam brought back with him or the way they made him seem just a breath beyond Dean's reach.

Wound and Unwound by fascra:

Sam stops eating spring of his freshman year.

CW: eating disorder

wincest (dean/sam)

Brittle by thecapn:

Sam Winchester has an eating disorder.

CW: eating disorder

Don't You Cry No More by sixtysevenlmpala (schittyfic):

The first time Sam gets badly hurt on a hunt, he doesn’t cry. Dean does.

Fall On Your Knees by dollylux:

Sam doesn't quite make it home on the last day of school before winter break.

The Fall Will Probably Kill You by killabeez:

Set between 7.04 and the aftermath of 7.07. Dean is not as okay as he'd like you to think. Neither is Sam.

CW: self-harm

Feels so good to feel again by Trojie:

The pain keeps Lucifer at bay, at least to start with.

Follow In Your Form by withthekeyisking:

Sam is hallucinating Lucifer in the wake of Cas bringing his Hell Wall crashing down. To make matters worse, it seems like this has his dormant powers flaring back to life.

Last Temptation by merle_p:

Sam is running a fever again, the kind of fever no Ibuprofen or cold compress will bring down, the kind of fever that is eating him up alive, eviscerating him from the inside. He is too hot and too cold and too pale, delirious and shaking, resonating with whatever divine energy the trials are subjecting him to, and Dean is not sure how much longer he can stand to see him be in this state. Because Sam is quite possibly dying, and there is nothing Dean can do to stop it. Because Sam is dying, and he just. Won’t. Shut. Up.

CW: mentioned past rape/noncon

leeches by Anonymous:

Sam discovers a spell to make everybody forget him. He’s convinced it’s for the best. Pre-Stanford.

CW: attempted kidnapping/torture

Make Thick My Blood by themegalosaurus:

“You’re going to kill me, Dean,” Sam says, eventually. And all Dean can say is, “I think I am.” A season 10 AU, set after 10x14 ('The Executioner's Song'). Cas finds a solution that might cure the Mark of Cain; but if they're going to go through with it, Sam has a terrible price to pay.

CW: mentioned past rape/noncon

Prophecy of an Abomination by ashitanoyuki:

Sam is kidnapped by fanatically religious hunters and crucified. Coming back from this won't be easy. Canon-divergent from midway through season 2.

Recall by De_Nugis:

Sam's having a hard time telling what's real and what isn't, especially when it comes to some voicemails from Dean.

The Room Upstairs by brokenlittleboy:

Sam comes back from hell, but he’s inside-out and all wrong, and Dean can’t fix him.

CW: mentioned past rape/noncon

Ruin You (and its companion fic Worth) by Mumble_Bee:

Cole fucks Sam with Demon!Dean watching from a devil's trap, snarling that anyone would dare touch what was his. “I told you I don’t care what you do to his face or his blood or his fucking nose,” Dean growled, “but you put your dick anywhere near him and I will end you.” “Better hurry up then, Dean, because I don’t think I can wait much longer.”

CW: explicit rape/noncon

Snowed In by HelloStarlingFics:

When working a case, Sam and Dean get stuck out in a shack in the woods when the snow comes in hard and fast. Trouble is, Sam’s hated the cold ever since the Cage. Time for Dean to step up and look after him.

Wake by minchout:

Gadreel has had Sam for four years, and Dean, lost in guilt and obsessed with finding a way to get his brother back, has isolated himself in a cabin in the Missouri Ozarks with nothing but the woods, a stray dog, some chickens, and all the books the Men of Letters had to offer to keep him company. Then Sam shows up one day without his passenger, and Dean learns quickly that it doesn't matter that Sam is with him again - there is still a lot of work to be done before they can find their way back to each other.

Wanting to Forget by morganaDW (morgana07):

1-shot. S1 fic. After getting Sam freed from the Benders Dean thinks all he has to cope with is some bruises and cuts. He learns quickly just how wrong he is when Sam wakes up with a nightmare, reliving his brief but bad captivity in every detail. Sam just wants to forget & Dean has to try to get him to let him help. Will one night of cruelty and pain ruin what’s been formed between them?

CW: referenced past rape/noncon

when I wake up I'm afraid, somebody else might take my place by quake_quiver:

Sam doesn’t remember the last time he cried for Dean like he did that night. And now it’s been…two weeks. Maybe more. Sam is tired, and in pain, and starting to doubt that Dean’s going to show up. He’s weak and shaking from a combination of constant pain and hunger. Sam longs for Dean. Dean would make it better. Dean would fix it.

CW: rape/noncon, body horror

Wire Inside Me by merle_p:

There are a lot of things Sam hates about his current condition, to the point where he sometimes feels for the gun under his pillow at night, blindly toys with the safety, imagines pressing the muzzle into the underside of his chin and pulling the trigger just to make it stop. But there’s nothing he hates as much as the shadows he sees in Dean’s eyes whenever his brother is looking at him these days. It’s not an expression he remembers ever seeing before, but Sam thinks it’s probably something like revulsion. Horror. Disgust. What else could it be.

CW: referenced past rape/noncon, body horror, forced pregnancy

Worth (and its companion fic Ruin You) by Mumble_Bee:

Episode 10x01 "Black" where Dean is a human, and very, very, pissed off to hear someone has hands on his brother. “It’s nothing personal,” Cole whispered into Sam's ear, too quietly for Dean to hear, “but I need to kill your brother, and I need him off his game when he gets here. I don’t wanna hurt you, kid, but I’m going to, anyway. I’m going to hurt you a lot."

CW: explicit rape/noncon

you'll never see us again by according2thelore:

Then finally, his eyes trail over to Dean. His pupils are pin-point thin, and his hair is straggling in his face so Dean can’t see most of what expression lies there. Sam usually wakes up from nightmares in one of three attitudes: confusion, fear, or calm. A scary, sense-prickling calm that Dean hates more than anything else. Resignation, almost. Or: Sam suffers from nightmares and touch starvation post-Cage. They do their best to deal.

other Sam/Lucifer noncon

Cage Fight (No Way To Do This Right) by Dyed_Red:

Sam’s visit to the cage is already going awry, but Dean’s one-man rescue ends up skidding it sideways into territory neither him or Sam are ready for. (Gratuitous episode scene re-write. If Cas hadn’t come till after, if he hadn’t been there yet when Dean ran down to the 'parole' cage after hearing Sam scream - how bad could it have got for the brothers before he made it?)

CW: graphic rape/noncon

Into Being by withthekeyisking:

When Sam wakes up in the cave on Apocalypse World after having been killed by vamps, it's not just to find Lucifer there with him. It's to find him in him.

CW: graphic rape/noncon, necrophilia, forced pregnancy

Reggie/Tim/Sam noncon

a pointless resistance for you by withthekeyisking:

Sam doesn't know how long he's been with Tim and Reggie by the time Dean shows up and tries to take him out of there. Long enough that's he's already lost one baby and is pregnant with the next. Long enough that this life is starting to feel like all he knows.

CW: graphic rape/noncon, forced pregnancy & miscarriage, victim blaming

screaming birds sound an awful lot like singing by withthekeyisking:

Sam has done his best to move past what Tim and Reggie did to him, pretending it never happened at all. But running into them again makes that very difficult—especially when Dean gets involved.

CW: referenced past rape/noncon

Waste 'Em All by withthekeyisking:

When Tim and Reggie try to force the demon blood down Sam's throat, he spits it back out. He has no interest in being turned into their own personal attack dog. They don't...take it well.

CW: explicit rape/noncon

#sam winchester #sam whump #supernatural #supernatural fic rec #wincest

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jewwyfeesh · 2 years ago

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Vision - 2

Writer: Mitsuki

Character(s): Suou Tsukasa, Sakuma Ritsu, Tenshouin Eichi, Shino Hajime

Translated by: jewwyfeesh

Special thanks: my friends for helping me reverse engineer shakespeare TT

Tsukasa: Eh? Are these lucky snacks?

Season: Summer

Location: Garden

Eichi: Hajime-kun, you’ve brought some snacks too? Why, it seems like we really do share a braincell ♪

Ritsu: What the… so am I the only one who came empty-handed? I had intended on bringing some beautiful and delicious handmade sweets too~

Tsukasa: Err… for Ritsu-senpai, I still think it would be better if you didn’t bring anything…

Eichi: I’ve brought some gifts sent by one of STAR PRO’s partners. There is a variety of designs available, and should be sufficient for us to have a pleasant afternoon together. Tsukasa-kun, please help yourself to them.

Tsukasa: Eh? Are these lucky snacks?

Hajime: They are pretty well made. Tsukasa-kun, do you recognise them?

Tsukasa: Narukami-senpai told me about them sometime ago. There’s this long-standing shop that makes them by hand and sells them in limited quantities… I’ve also heard that they are pretty popular amongst teenagers these days.

But the Suou family rarely gift snacks to our partners, and it’s rather improper to queue up for these kinds of small nibbles just to satisfy the appetite… so I don’t really know what kind of snacks these are.

Eichi: According to the supplier, one of these snacks has a special filling in them. Whoever eats the special filling will be lucky for the whole year!

Ritsu: What’s with this ‘if you eat it you’ll be lucky for a whole year’? Where did this… idea of eating food specially prepared for the New Year come from? We’re still in the middle of summertime this fine morning. What, we’re gonna be celebrating the Lunar New Year in the blink of an eye?

Eichi: Haha, these sorts of products really do give people the impression that it’s a little out of this world. However, there would be times where people might instead approve of these.

Even though I think that… seeking luck and fortune from a vague notion is merely a means for the common people to escape from reality, it does make for rather fun entertainment during afternoon tea.

In any case, we have lots of free time today, so I am very interested to know who will eat that snack. Tsukasa-kun, you don’t have any jobs later, right? Would you like to join us?

Tsukasa: Ah… Tenshouin onii-sama, while I would love to agree immediately, please forgive my impropriety this time. Before that, I would like to memorize the script for my next job.

Ritsu: If my memory serves me right, the script that you just memorized would only be needed in maaaybe a month from now. It’s okay if you take it slow.

Tsukasa: What Ritsu-senpai said is the truth, but this was my original plan for today – to memorize this part of the script before the sun sets. It’s against the knight’s code of conduct to backtrack on a decision just because a temptation’s been put infront of them.

Eichi: What steadfast determination. Good luck, Tsukasa-kun! We’ll be cheering for you while enjoying these delectable snacks ♪

Tsukasa: “The night is long that never finds the day”[1]…

Eichi: Mm, as expected of the floral tea brewed by Hajime-kun, the taste is delightful as always.

Hajime: Ehehe, as long as Eichi-onii-chan likes it~ There hasn’t been any change in flavour, has there? I made this tea by drying the flowers I grew over a fire.

Eichi: Nope, it still carries the same comforting fragrance as before. It’s excellent paired with Hajime-kun’s bread.

Tsukasa: …“Truth needs no colour; beauty, no pencil”[2]… (can’t help but pause for a moment)

Ritsu: Mmh, the snacks that Ecchan brings are always so yummy, nomnom. Even though it can’t quite compare to the ones I make.

Hajime: It’s been a while, and I’ve yet to eat the snack with the special filling… Did either of you eat it…?

Ritsu: Nah. Perhaps this ‘luck’ thing isn’t compatible with vampires~

Eichi: Neither have I. It really makes you wonder which snack it’s hiding in. How curious.

Hajime: But if we continue to eat and talk, we will chance upon that lucky snack pretty soon, right?

Ritsu: That’s correct. But who knows if Suu~chan will be able to catch up if we do that~

(Judging from the voice I heard when I was half-awake, Suu~chan’s been working for quite a long time. Surely, it’s time for a break…?)

Tsukasa: ……

(Why does it feel like someone’s been staring at me since just now… and there’s even the fragrance of dessert wafting over…)

Ritsu: Staaaare——

Tsukasa: Ri-Ritsu-senpai! Why are you coming over with a snack in your hand, all the while staring at me unblinkingly?

Ritsu: Do you wanna take a break and have two bites of this snack, Suu~chan?

Tsukasa: ……Th-there’s no need. Please let me finish memorizing this section of my script.

Ritsu: Suu~chan~ Your gaze is drifting~ Really? You don’t want to?

Tsukasa: I will not change my mind. Ritsu-senpai, please enjoy yourself. (Took two steps back to widen the gap)

Ritsu: Okay then~ how cold…

Tsukasa: …“This above all: to thine own self be true”[3]…

Ritsu: Nom nom… ah, what a pity. This one isn’t the lucky snack, either. It’s very yummy but I’ve eaten so many I’m starting to feel sick.

Tsukasa: Ritsu-senpai! What are you doing!!!

You have been tempting me with snacks non-stop! This is really too mean, don’t you think? And I’ve been having such a hard time enduring it too…

But, even so, I will be resolute in my decision! Ritsu-senpai, please give up!

Ritsu: …That determined?

Tsukasa: Please refrain from testing me anymore. A knight’s resolve is unwavering.

Ritsu: Ahaha. In that case, let me help you ♪

Tsukasa: Ritsu-senpai, just what are you trying to do this time?

Ritsu: It’s easy to get a script mixed up when you’re doing it alone, right? With my help, it should go a lot faster.

Why are you looking at me with such a shocked face? I feel wounded.

Tsukasa: But… Ritsu-senpai, are you not in the midst of having afternoon tea?

Ritsu: I didn’t eat a single lucky snack, so I’m feeling rather salty right now. I’ll be using the lines that you’re currently memorizing later, anyways, so why not treat this as advance rehearsals~?

Lemme see. “Is ‘t night’s predominance or the day’s shame?”[4] Hey, this is pretty good, I won’t have to worry that people will come and disturb my sleep.

Tsukasa: Goodness, you’d better not fall asleep on me when we pair lines later on.

[a few moments later]

Eichi: Tsukasa-kun! Welcome back~

Tsukasa: Onii-sama, Hajime-kun, were you waiting for us?

Hajime: We weren’t really waiting for you two; we just sat around chatting and drinking tea… and time passed without us realizing. The tea is sitll warm, let me pour some for you~

Ritsu: Still, the pile of treats remained relatively untouched. Here, Suu~chan.

What great timing. Secchan’s still overseas, so you can stuff yourself silly this time~

Tsukasa: I will not over-indulge myself without restraint… mmh, such exquisite delicacies! The aroma is rich but it’s not particularly sweet, and it really melts on my tongue!

Desserts after work truly are the best!

Hajime: Hold on, Suou-kun, the treat in your hand…

Tsukasa: Hm?

Wait a minute… this…? Could this be the lucky snack with the special filling in it…?

Eichi: Seems like it.

Ritsu: Oh? Suu~chan’s gonna be the luckiest person out of all of us this year. Congrats~ Don’t forget to give us some of your luck too~

Tsukasa: Th-this is really too unexpected. I just grabbed the top most one… not to mention, I joined this tea party purely by chance, so this was originally supposed to have been eaten by one of you…?

Hajime: That’s why Suou-kun is really lucky~

Eichi: That’s right, Tsukasa-kun. Compared to luck brought by snacks, it’s more important to believe that luck belongs to you. So, just accept it ♪

Ritsu: It’s really not like you, Suu~chan, to refuse a good result when it’s laid out clearly for everyone to see.

Tsukasa: Because of luck…

When compared to this lucky snack… I think I’m luckier to be able to have afternoon tea with everyone.

Then, I will accept the luck bestowed upon me by everyone in the Tea Club. I will treasure this piece of luck, and hope that it can bring even more glory to Knights— no, rather… to idols.

Shakespeare's Macbeth, Act 4 Scene 3 Line 282

Shakespeare's Sonnet 101, Lines 6-7

Shakespeare's Hamlet, Act 1 Scene 3 Line 84

Shakespeare's Hamlet, Act 2 Scene 4 Line 10

#enstars translation #suou tsukasa #tenshouin eichi #sakuma ritsu #shino hajime #vision

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thatslayer · 2 years ago

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Not a hiatus, but...

So, I'm still too stubborn to go on hiatus even though my entire life is screaming at me to do so. Because of a heavy work schedule and some family stuff, I just won't be here much and when I am I'm usually exhausted and my brain won't cooperate enough to write anything worth reading or responding to. Add to all that dealing with people in real life (no one on tumblr) who are needy and want all my free time and can't take a hint, and I'm running on fumes.

So, here's the sitch. I'm going to be VERY selective for a while with what I write. Any threads that seem stagnant ( meaning the muses talk and talk and talk but nothing actually happens ) or threads that lack even a basic, bare-bones plot will be indefinitely drafted for the time being. I'm not dropping things, I love you all and I want ALL our stuff, but I'm a plot-oriented writer and with the small amount of time I have, I want to focus on threads with a more established storyline just for the sake of time issues.

I'm going to try to revert back to running a queue, which might end up running 1-2 posts + an edit or musing per day if I can swing it, that way at least I'm less likely to be overwhelmed when I do get the chance to log on. Even though multi-paras are my preference, if the replies are on the longer side, it'll probably be a single reply a day just because I really don't have time right now to do a lot of long replies and beta editor is NOT helping. I might also continually cut the word count so I can reply on my phone. Hopefully, that'll change once I'm fully moved to my new place and can stop worrying so much about money and trying to scramble away from my horrible family.

I only have a very limited amount of time on Sundays, because everything I can't do during the week because of work has got to be done on Sunday, but I'll try to be here on and off on those days. I won't be responding to discord or IMs unless we're actively plotting or very close buds, because chatting on disco takes up my writing time.

Sorry guys! I know I've been horrid at being present and I'm even more sorry that it's just going to be that way for a while as I wait for my life to finally settle down! I truly adore my writing partners, and everyone on my dash, and I hope this is just a TTFN and not anything permanent. I'll still be around, just very, very slow!

#{ ------------time out. ( ooc )

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elenajournals · 2 years ago

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Coming back for 2023!

I'm journaling again, with both words and art.

I let a lot of things go this year, for a lot of reasons. My author platform disappeared--no blog posts since March, a barely-there tumblr where I reblogged stuff in spurts but never promoted my work. I stopped reviewing books and posting to my booklr as well. (I am still reading, all the time, but I even stopped recording my books on Goodreads, which I had been using consistently since I found in 2015.)

A lot of times, when someone disappears from social media and come back, they cite depression, and given my history, I'm surprised to say--no, I wasn't depressed, I was busy with a new job, I was focusing my energy elsewhere, but also I was creatively stagnant in my writing and grappling with my lack of "success," and that damaged my motivation to do other creative things.

I needed the time off to figure out what I really wanted to get out of my creative practices, because the pipe dream of making money from it wasn't happening. (Y'all didn't see that part, because elenajournals was never trying to make even the slightest bit of money, this was the safe space where I could do whatever the fuck I wanted, be inspired by anything or nothing, and be answerable to no one. Those of you who found me randomly and followed me for pretty art journal pics would be forgiven for not even knowing I was an author, as I rarely self-promote here.)

But recently, a few things have changed. The one most relevant to this platform is that I found a (lightly used) guided transformation journal at a thrift store on Small Business Saturday during their half-off-everything sale. Sure, the first two pages of lessons, someone had already written in, but they gave up on the journey almost immediately, and I dearly love "used" things that have a history I can share in.

I've been writing in that journal every day since, and I'm not going to share those pages online. They're too personal, too intense in self-examination, and I'm simply not comfortable opening up publicly to that degree.

What the first three weeks of guidance have taught me, though, is that I have, for various reasons, completely cut myself off from anything spiritual, and that I need to make space for meditative practices in my life.

Hence, the return of art journaling. (Also slow stitching, which I may or may not talk about or chronicle here. Stitch journals are a thing, even a thing I've tried before, but I'm still figuring out if that's a good fit for me and if/how it would be practical to share here.)

Later today, I will finish the final spread in my Rose Journal, the found poetry one I started in 2017, and before this past week, hadn't worked on since January of 2021.

I picked that one to finish because it was the closest to done, it has small pages that I don't feel intimidated by (large blank spaces can feel so challenging sometimes!) and though I tried out many techniques and styles over the course of filling it, it was primarily a zentangle book and I felt comfortable returning to it with the goal of meditation-as-art, rather than Making Art to Maybe Impress Other People.

Over the next few days, I intend to photograph and post those pages, plus the usual finished-journal retrospective of my favorites. Also to talk about some of my journal-related goals and practices for next year.

Then it's going to be radio silence for a week, because holiday vacation with no laptop and limited time to be online. So yes, I will disappear again for a bit, if I haven't gotten enough done to queue. Though I'm sure I can find enough stuff from others to queue for inspiration, which was always half my blog (when it was active) anyway.

So that's the update. I know that I've said before that I'm coming back, and then little or nothing happens. That's why I waited until I actually had done some journaling before I said so, rather than feeling vaguely inspired, saying so, but not following through.

#elena rambles #personal

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themichelleshow · 2 years ago

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The Memz

I’m currently crying my eyes out after having finished reading the most heart-wrenching story about this girl who finds out she’s got this dementia disease and starts writing down all her memories and just wanted to pen some thoughts down too.

LL & BJS: Saw this quote and sums up exactly how I feel about these guys. They came over the other day and when my cousin asked about how long we’d known each other, also despite me being well aware of the answer, it still made me start when they answered “2-3 years”. It feels so much longer and deeper than that and l feel like one of the side effects of the pandemic was that time slowed down and allowed us to make more meaningful connections.

LL: the little brother I always wished to have, you are the brightest, most accomplished current and future star who literally excels at anything you put your mind to but best of all are the most loyal and caring friend anyone would wish to have in their lives (and there is a whole queue of people to prove it lol). I always say that I instantly warmed to you as soon as I saw your face because you looked (and felt) like family, despite your attempts to thwart my friendship advances 😂 I literally have heart eyes when I see you, bursting with pride at how amazing of a human you are despite all the obstacles life tries to throw your way. You take on so much for so many and as much as it pains me when you bear the inevitable consequences, I always have to remind myself that you’re being authentic to your own self, I just wish that instead of taking care of everyone else so much you would prioritise your self above everyone at least from #2 onwards in the queue 😊 You mention time to time about how you think nobody on this earth really needs you and if you left it wouldn’t make much of an impact, but that is so untrue. You bring so much joy, love and laughter to me and also to many many others and the world would be a lesser place without you.

BJS: I’ll always remember first meeting you over zoom, that contagious smile and laugh and feeling like we were friends from the get-go 😊 It took me a while to maybe properly rely on you for friendship beyond that of a colleague because I didn’t want to come on too strong, even though that’s how the connection already felt to me. I would be asking LL to do stuff with me and he’d be like, I’m busy but you should ask B he would go with you and I’d be like ewww no, nervous you’d think I was being too forward 😬 Nekminit you’ve become one of my closest confidantes and bestie that is always up for all my requested shenanigans (except for influencer parties or a specific numbered musical 😅) I never get tired of being around you, like a constant renewable energy source and I’m endlessly fascinated by all your stories and experiences and despite the many hours we’ve spent together and conversed, you still come up with tales that surprise me. If I describe LL as a bright shining star, he would be the sun, always close with his warmth and rays, but you B, I’ve always considered more like a shooting star, so bright and beautiful yet fleeting. The past few years of knowing you has felt like we’ve been on a limited uncertain time frame and I’ve tried to obtain and appreciate every available moment with you. It’s funny though now that things may be less uncertain, it doesn’t make me feel any less like you’re making your way to another galaxy with a different set of constellations. I still appreciate the moments I get, although I probably shoot myself in the foot trying to pre-distance myself to build up resistance to bearing the pain of the inevitable void of your expected parting. Regardless of where we all end up, you and your friendship have had a major impact on me, pulled me from the orbit I was on and I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.

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unheimlig-blog · 6 years ago

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Your urls kill me guys but I love how devoted and involved you are with yours ships. It's really beautiful to see this kind of threads where you put your soul in it and just keep the good work guys !! ❤❤ sprinkles love for the both of you

ANOTHER CUTE ASK!!! - @souleclipsed / tagging @white-reaper | @immerwahrend again!

Our URLS are a confusing mix of Breton, German, or Latin depending on the blog, it's beautiful [ I’m not counting Kishou’s URL bcs that’s English ]. 8|c

BUT DAMN, YOU GUYS. YOU’RE KILLING ME TODAY;;;;; I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH OMFG. I’m just??? So, so happy you’re all enjoying the stuff we put out there, like we really do work hard on it and;;; A hh. Tbh the destruction won’t ever stop, we’re both terrible beings who can ship any muse together if we try hard enough. /w\

#souleclipsed #;; ALSO WE NEED TO INTERACT TOO #;; Though anything will be slow from me I have to limit my queue to one a day AND FHD JDFHDHh #;; SOBS #;; [ ooc ]#;; [ Save ]#;; [ Asks ]#;; THANK YOU SO MUCH THO I REALLY APPRECIATE ALL THIS;;;;;;;;;

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yoichichi · 4 years ago

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Modern!au Hange Zoë Relationship Headcannons

Hange Zoë x reader

a/n: hi!!! This is my first post for aot on this blog! Plspls tell me your thoughts and if you guys like this :) requests aren’t open quite yet but will he soon, I just need to finish some things up in my drafts first :) you can look at WIP page on my pinned post on my blog to see some other aot works I’m working on atm before I open requests :) pls enjoy !!! I luv them on god

gif not mine, credit to owner

Please tell them to go to bed, they have no self regard for their sleeping habits and WILL stay up for 2 days straight

It does not matter if they’re in bed with you either, they will lay with their back against the headboard and you cuddling into their side while they stroke your face until you fall asleep and then IMMEDIATELY start reading

The amount of times you’ve woken up to them still awake in the middle of the night looking at you like 👁👄👁😃 good morning sunshine~~ just go back to bed ~~ maybe you’re dreaming ~~ , cause they KNOW you’ll scold them and they’d like to avoid that at all costs

PLS they definitely wear one of those stupid little head light things so they can read while you sleep

AND IT JUST ADDS TO THE DISORIENTATION YOU FEEL WHEN YOU WAKE UP ABAJSKWJWNA

* 💡

* 👁👄👁

“good morning sleepy head”

I truly feel like they’re a pro at getting you to fall asleep though, not even so they can stay up they just are so good at soothing you

That one spot in between your shoulders thats always sore? They’re hands find it without you even having to mention

The way you have to cuddle laying on your right side and your left? They’re already adjusting themselves on the couch so that can happen

The way you like kisses on the top of your head but not your temple? Check ✅ they’re fingers are resting at your temple to remind them it’s always the top of your head -as if they’d forget-

Expanding on this, they’re just so good at remembering details about you in general???

And of course some of it is the basics like your favorite snack, your favorite candle, the current show your binging, the laundry detergent you always buy, etc.

But some of it you wouldn’t have even asked them to remember?? Like it gets more and more obscure the longer you’re together

Like how you wouldn’t like the leather seats in their car, which you mention once cause the skin on your legs were sticking to them in the summer

And then they’re in the market looking for a new car and this one doesn’t have leather seats, which to yourself you’re like oh cool :)

But then they just bring it up while you’re driving with them one day like

“Isn’t it nice that now when you wear shorts your legs don’t stick? I tried keeping that in mind for you, babe.”

And it’s just??? You’re almost questioning how they even KNOW that until they tell you about the one ☝🏼 time you mentioned it and it was at least a couple years ago and it’s just??? Thank you?!?

But yes, anything you do Hange WILL remember it for better or for worse cause they just see it as a part of getting to know you and love the person you are!

Okok emperor fidgety over here ‼️

WILL talk with their hands so intensely that they’ve knocked over countless drinks, vases, has even flung their fork once

Queue wide eyes and awkward laughing while they blush a little before they rush for a towel to clean up their mess

But will still continue to ramble while they clean, nothing stops their talking

Carpet cleaner is your best friend

Let’s just say when the two of you decided to move into a new place together, hunting for hardwood floors was a must

But BECAUSE this fools always making a mess and needs to just ~lower the chaos a teensy bit ~ they WILL grab onto your hands while they talk

They’d be getting particularly animated and loud and you’d just let out a giggle and nod your head, letting them know you’re listening and they don’t have to be so loud

And they’d just giggle and shush themselves and be like sorry sorry I know with some big stupid smile on their face

They’d reach their hands out and grab yours and clear their throat and raise their eyebrows a little,

“Ok, so, here’s the best part though. Get. This.”

And they’d just go back to ranting but this time they have so much more energy being focused into you rather than combusting out of them

Their eyes are locked onto yours so hard, no longer darting all over the room while they speak

Their hands moving yours only a little, swinging them up and down, squeezing them when they get particularly excited

Their voice is more hushed and deep, their words shooting sharply at you with an intensity vibrating off them making your cheeks burn

Now, when something would normally result in a flying fork, instead it’s a tug on your hands to bring you closer while their voice gets heavier and quiet - almost a whisper - sharing this moment with you and ending it with raised eyebrows and a squeal - sometimes even shaking your arms about if it’s especially exciting news

Speaking of ranting, when you rant you better expect Hange to get JUST as involved as you

You’re frustrated? Yeah Hange is getting heated too, riling you up in the process, it’s their problem now too

You’re happy? Hange is squealing and jumping up and down with you as if they got the promotion ajakskajaja

I feel like the only exception to this would be if you were stressed, upset, or sad

They’re immediately quiet and looking all over your face for any sign of distress with the most sincere eyes

Nodding and responding with little hums of understanding, ready to scoop you into their arms the moment you need them too

The RULER of taking care of their s/o when they’re down or sick

Not only cause they know everything there is to know about your existence lmao

But cause I think they’re smart enough to be able to not be over bearing when they’re taking care of you

They’ll check in a lot for sure, but never smothering you more than you’d like lmao

Their love language is definitely quality time in my opinion

Do you remember how excited they were when Eren agreed to listen to them talk and they talked literally ALL night?? -I miss them like this pls-

Please just spend time with them while they’re doing research at home or reading, they’ll never feel more loved and appreciated

Ok but like :

It’s late, it’s been dark outside for hours now. Your eyes became heavy hours ago but, you don’t have work tomorrow, and you’d hate leaving Hange in here by themselves, so you decided on cuddling up in the living chair in their office - that they definitely put in there for you - on your phone. You were scrolling mindlessly through apps trying to keep your mind stimulated enough when you heard their chair move from the spot they were in for the first time since you’ve been in their. You looked up to see them crack their neck and stretch their arms above their head, they’re shirt riding up just above their belly button.

They sighed deeply and slowly walked over to you, running their hands down the side of your face and cupping your cheeks to turn your head up to face them.

They leaned down at an agonizingly slow pace and pressed a deep kiss on your lips

“Let’s go to bed now, yeah?”

And while you were laying together drifting off to sleep, they’d just kiss your head one more time and tell you how much they love you

Pls you’d mean the world to them

HANGE IS A SEXY DRIVER HANGE IS A SEXY DRIVER HANGE IS A SEXY DRIVER

Like,,, WHEWWW

This isn’t even a relationship HC LMAO

I mean a little -

They’d LOVE to go on roadtrips with you, you can’t tell me otherwise

A fun stupid adventure to buy shitty souvenirs along the way? Meeting strange people and getting all these new stories together? Hange is at peace like this lmao

But more on them driving 👁👅👁

Definitely drives stick, and they’re a FAST driver

Always a little above the speed limit

So good at changing lanes, especially on the freeway

The way they check over their shoulder?? Lawd almighty

Sometimes they’ll check over their shoulder that’s facing you and flick their eyes to your’s for a moment, cause they can feel you staring at them in that brief moment, and they’ll just raise their eyebrows and shoot you a cocky little side smile

And then after they change lanes they reach a hand over and squeeze your thigh before they keep driving

Ok does have bad road rage though LMAO

Not in a dangerous way they just,, swear very loudly in the car and then roll their eyes and apologize that there’s idiots on the road LMAO

Anyways

All in all, Hange is a very attentive and loud partner, so I hope you’re ok with chaos and intensity

———————

a/n: thanks for reading yall!!! Feel free to check out my blog, more aot content coming soon! And I always love to hear from you guys :)

-🐇out

taglist: @plutowrites

#attack on titan #aot #attack on titan hange #attack on titan headcanons #hange brain rot rn #hange zoe #hange x reader #commander hanji #hange x you #hange imagines #hange headcanons #shigenki no kyojin #modern!au aot #modern!hange

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thermaflute · 4 years ago

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Can I get the 3 main boys going on a roadtrip through the states with their s/o? Thank you! 💚💚💚

This is so cute sfgvbgyyj. I love roadtrips but real talk, driving through the US is messy, especially the south. Potholes be the size of craters and the highway has eternal road work 🙄.

Katsuki Bakugo

He’s honestly the overpacker, I’m talking “What if I shit myself 4 days in a row” overpacker.

How does he manage to pack it into the trunk of the sports car? You don’t know, you don’t even ask, you just trust the process.

Make sure you have what you need in the front because he’ll chew you out if he has to open that trunk for anything that isn’t unloading at the destination.

You’re blasting music and punching him because the song just goes that hard.

Poor baby is just trying to drive.

He does find it a little cute but you know he’ll be a hardass about it.

He speeds, but only by a little or when he’s angry. He gets frustrated at traffic and will most definitely start weaving through it.

“None of this shit would happen if people just knew how to drive.”

“Whoa, we were really close to that car there.”

“I know.” He deadass just groans at you and will continue to maneuver through cars as if it was nothing.

He'll eventually get sick of it and just take toll routes.

Y'all really won't stop at rest stops, breaks come in the form of getting gas. Which is your chance to pile up on snacks and drinks!

Buy him a slushy and it'll calm him down for the rest of the ride.

He'll try to avoid getting junk food but will inevitably stop at McDonald's for dinner.

"Why does every damn stop have a McDonalds or Subway?"

You shrug at him with a mouth full of chicken nuggets.

He'll lovingly roll his eyes at you and then proceed to steal your drink.

He refuses to switch out during the day, but when it comes to driving at night that’s all you.

He absolutely doesn't want to stop for too long so he'll sleep at night and will probably switch back with you closer to the morning. He needs his beauty sleep.

Shoto Todoroki

Look, my guy has the opposite problem. He doesn’t know how to pack. Y’all going on a ski trip? He’s packing shorts and a tee. Heading to the beach? Sweater upon sweater. Sure the temp most likely doesn’t bother him but for the sake of fashion, you gotta intervene.

Everything fits neatly in the back while simultaneously remaining easily accessible. Grabing extra stuff is easy with him.

He speeds like no other, not because he means to but because he quite literally doesn’t notice.

Like you’re trying to drop hints and he’s not budging so you have to be direct.

“Slow it down, are you trying to get a ticket?”

“Oh, sorry I didn't realize I was speeding.”

He slows down for like 2 minutes and then is back to doing 100.

For someone who claims to not notice he'll also suspiciously slow down when he sees a cop car.

You guys actually spend a lot of time at rest stops. A little stretch easily turns into a conversation over the snacks you two packed. He really enjoys the trip itself so he's all for those little lingering moments.

He doesn’t mind switching (he actually prefers that you drive because he rarely does it).

He doesn’t fall asleep when he’s in the passenger seat, he just talks to you about anything he can think of or stares at the passing scenery. Dreamy, if it weren't for the weird ass billboards.

"Why is that sign telling me to repent or burn in hell?"

"I've been asking that question for years dude."

He’s not the type to want to stay on the road forever, he’ll just get a hotel when it starts getting too late. And yes, breakfast is included.

Izuku Midoriya

He’s a perfect packer and manages to grab all the essentials, extras, and still have a lot of space left. He’s done with the bags way in advance so when the day comes really all you have to do is get on the road.

You two queue up music you both like before hitting the road so no one gets left out.

He sings quite a bit and would love and appreciate it if you sing with him.

He doesn't speed. He's obsessed with being close to the speed limit or the speed of traffic, you probably have to tell him he's going too slow sometimes.

He's the type to go use the restroom and come back with 400 flyers from nearby attractions, 2 coupon books, and real estate magazines.

"Baby, we're not even passing through that area."

"We can go next time though!"

"For a paper factory tour?..."

"Well, maybe not that one."

It's ridiculous but you gotta admit the coupon deal helps when you're stopping for dinner.

Y'all will pick out houses from the real estate book and joke about moving in. Well, you're joking, he's taking mental notes of what you like.

Despite being a nervous driver, he prefers to drive because he wants you to be comfortable, you'll really have to beg him to switch with you.

If he gives in, he'll seem uncomfortable just relaxing but will eventually settle into the seat. He might even fall asleep.

He actually isn't the hotel type but also won't strain to never stop. You two will probably stop at a rest stop and take a short nap together. Sure its not the most comfortable, but you can't really beat looking at the stars through the sunroof as you fall asleep.

#bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki x reader #izuku x reader #deku x reader #izuku midoriya #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha

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blixeon · 4 years ago

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Ghost Hunting Headcanons/Phasmophobia AU with Douxie and fem!Reader

- A/N: I'm gonna be honest, I don't know anything about this kind of stuff and I'm writing based off of the sheer willpower of memes, what I've learned from playing Phasmophobia for a month and the power of inspiration to write odd hcs (and AUs apparently) at 1:30 am

Warnings: ghosties

You're both balls-y as hell and like to out dare and out do the other

"I'll give you free hot beverages from the café for a week if you stand in the basement alone, in complete darkness for 10 minutes"

"Don't tempt me Hisirdoux-"

You smirked before adding, "You know I'd do it anyways without the bribe~"

Douxie would raise an eyebrow at you in amusement, letting out a chuckle

You took up his offer and make your way to the basement

Low-key got bored and nodded off for a bit, lasting well over your 10 minutes of agreed upon time

Douxie starts getting worried when you don't come back up and makes his way down to look for you

"Y/N? Where'd you go, love?"

Since you'd only been nodding off and weren't completely out, you hear his voice and footsteps making his way down the stairs towards you and decide to take it upon yourself to give him a little spook

He lets out an alarmed yelp as you jump at him from the shadows

"Bleeding balroths! Y/n, don't do that to me-! I thought something happened to you.."

You let out a light chuckle but apologize for making him worry

It's dark in the abandoned house you're ghost hunting at, and you've got nothing but your flashlights to guide you along in your nightly quest (you'd both agreed it be more fun if magic was off limits)

You liked to hold onto Douxie's sleeve while exploring, not out of fear but just because it was nice knowing he was there

Douxie prefers that you hold onto his sleeve anyways, he'd much rather be prepared to break your no magic rule to protect you on the off chance that whatever you're out looking for wants to cause harm

Plus, it's comforting to him to know that you're close by and that he doesn't need to keep checking that you're still there since he can feel you tugging at his sleeve

He checks anyways

"I bet you won't take home that string doll we saw hanging from the doorway on the way in"

"Oh, do you now?"

Despite not being able to see eachother's facial expressions in the dark, you can both feel the grin radiating off the other's face

"Arch might make me burn it if I do"

"Everyone knows you can't burn haunted things and be rid of its evil"

"Fair enough. You'll have to remind me to pick it up on our way out then"

You and Douxie ended up going for impromptu ghost hunts so frequently it became sort of a nightly tradition

Douxie enjoys it more than he cares to admit, but it's mostly because he enjoys spending time with you on these not so traditional dates

You can tell he enjoys it and decide to put some money into a few pieces of proper equipment, even if it's just for fun

Most nights, the two of you never actually find anything, it's just fun to be out together past midnight, looking for ghosts in abandoned places

When you do see something, it's usually just goblins or shadow mephits

However, sometimes you get lucky and something supernatural sets off your gear

"Took the spirits bloody long enough!"

Heavy footsteps echo from the floor above, followed by some low but faint off-tune humming

Queue creepy whispering and heavy breathing down your neck that is most definitely not Douxie

"Please don't eat my ass demons"

Douxie's flashlight starts flickering, so does yours, signalling that the spirit is hunting

"Oh.... fuzz buckets-"

He quickly guides you to one of the rooms you passed earlier, one that still had a door attached to its hinges

You close the door behind the two of you and wait out the hunt in silence

You wait for what feels like forever before you confirm that you're in the clear

Douxie moves to open the door and peers out into the hall with his dim flashlight, pulling you along with him once he deems it safe

You guys are surprisingly deep into the house at this point and decide to head back for safe measures

The front door of the run down house is in sight at the end of the seemingly endless hallway, it looks impossibly far away. Maybe it's the light?

As you head towards the door, the floorboards creak just ahead of you and Douxie

A slim dark figure flashes in and out of view, making its way towards you two, long slender arms outstretched towards you

Douxie moves to put a protective arm around you and you can faintly see the tattoos on his arms light up under his hoodie

"Shall we make a break for it, darling?"

You can practically hear the smirk in his voice as the two of you dash for the exit

On your way out you remember to grab the string doll hanging in the doorway, as a trophy of sorts for surviving the night

The two of you keep moving until you're a safe distance from the house before you stop

As your pace slows, you notice the faint glow of Douxie's tattoos fade away

"Now THAT is how you spend a Tuesday night"

He laughs at your enthusiasm, finding it rather charming how you react in the face of possible danger

Now out of the darkness of the house and outside in the light of the moon, it's much easier to make out the expressions on his face

Douxie stares back at you with adoration in his eyes as you do a twirl in the cool night air, your laughter forming a small cloud as it echos into the night

He makes his way over to you as you slow from your spinning, wobbling a little as dizziness clouds your head

"Whoa there, take it easy. Just because we escaped a possibly blood hungry demon does not mean that you're invincible" he says, steadying you on your feet

You let out a chuckle, "I suppose not"

Your spinning had lead you to the dead center of a moonlit clearing

Douxie pulls you in for a kiss, sealing the end of your ghost hunting adventures

For now that is.

Who knows what tomorrow night will bring~?

A/N: Sorry that turned into a half assed one shot lmao, it's a lot longer than I intended it to be too ^^; I hope it's alright though! I haven't written anything in ages, let alone an x reader lol

New weird headcanon that came completely out of pocket while writing this is that Douxie's tattoos light up when he's preforming certain spells O-O

#douxie x reader thoughts #douxie x reader #douxie #hisirdoux caserpan #hisirdoux casperan x reader #douxie x reader headcanons #ghost hunting AU #Douxie x reader Phasmophobia AU #toa #tales of arcadia #wizards #3below #trollhunters #wizards: Tales of Arcadia #toa wizards #douxie x fem!reader #douxie x y/n #please don't eat my ass demons

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monster-noises · 3 years ago

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Mmmmm

I'm having a good time working on this commission, but i don't know whether i should take that as a sign that i should loosen the gates a bit and be open to accepting more commissions in a more official capacity instead of just telling everyone who asks 'yeah sometimes'

There's a feeeew.. factors at play here.. that just.. idk i'm cautious about my proverbial eyes being bigger than my proverbial stomach y'know?

Like.. I'm slow.. as an artist? My speed can vary certainly but if you want anything done Nicely i'm a bit of a snail... It can take me WEEKS to get something done if my hands+mind aren't cooperating, or if i get in one of those loops where i just don't have Time for anything.. sometimes it's a reasonable slowness and sometimes it's like... A Bit Much and I know people can be patient but it's not necissarily something i would want to Risk

I also know that i have a Lot of personal projects i want to get done and i don't want to take up all my limited working time doing commissions and sideling everything i'm working on otherwise, cause that's the fastest route to me burning out and falling away from art.. there's a Reason i have ended up casting aside any ideas about working in animation or game development, hell, even traditional publishing to a degree or traditional freelance, because art for me is by and large about getting whats in my head Out of my head, not the act of creating itself...

Which makes it kinda feel like commissions are something i should do.. once i'm already a full time artist for myself and have the time to split? Which seems counterintuitive....

As it stands though i have to scrape out my art time out around my day job and life needs and what i'm able to scrape is sacred and limited. i just don't work fast enough to make the most of it.. particularly if i'm handelling a queue of folks and not just one or two people on special request... It just wouldn't be good for me or my potential clients

which is kinda a TL:DR of my concerns i guess...

But on the flip side.. money for my work is.. Nice.. making people happy with my art is Really Nice (i just think about how i feel about my commission from Lucy and it's like AH! I wanna do that for people, and people seem to want it!)

if we face another lockdown it would be reeeeal helpful if i can't get back on EI or if they've changed the system, and i'm going to be making a job transition soon hopefully and maybe that will lessen the burden of my Time Problems, and it would help cover that transition period if anything gets Loopy.. plus the experience is good! In a professional capacity..

And it might be fun who knows! I have more of a.. Niche now, there's definitely stuff people Want Me Specifically For (okay "stuff" it's heisenberg.. probably.. but i'm happy to oblige! I work best when i'm invested in the things i'm working on, which was a problem last time around) it could be a good experience to branch out a lil, take in other ideas, not have to come up with everything and still draw excellent picture of the metal husband and/or other people's OCs! Or the other lords! Or whatever people want really! It's got the potential to be enjoyable!

I've grown a lot since the last time i tried to open commissions, and so idk maybe it would be different! But I don't want to let these lofty ideas get into my head for something that just may not be realistic for me... GAH

Hhhhh....

They'll stay on an ask-and-see-if-i'm-available status for now.. and of course those who've already approached me take precident when they want somethin', but i'll keep thinking about it..

Who knows! Maybe like most things that happen to me, I won't get to make the choice and i'll be forced into a position where i Have to open them!

#monster noises #my limited time i think is the root of all my concerns #if i wasn't so constrained by that i think i'd be way more open to putting out the word publically #still don't think i could handle a queue any larger than 3 people at once thought #even THAT feels iffy #and not that i think That Many people would be interested #it's just that.. enough Have been over the last few months to get the wheels turning #it always feels like the highest compliment to get those asks.... like holy shit! people want to put down Money? for MY art??????#like.. wow....#pricing too.. i'm just now thinking.. would be an issues #i know what i'be quoted to people is Way undercharging myself #(especially because i mainly do traditional commissions which can be much more labour intensive and challenging #but are easier for me to focus on)#but i absolutely do not know how/what to charge to get a good baseline of Reasonable but Afforable #like what are Most people willing to spend on (continuing yo make the assumption about subject matter here) fanart?#admittedly special and often personal fan art granted but None The Less #what would they pay? what can they on average afford?#i know what I would pay (the answer it Quiet a Bit - I love supporting artists) but i'm not a good means measurement for Anything #how do i deal with shipping???!!?!#there's so many questions @~@

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quazartranslates · 3 years ago

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Welcome to the Nightmare Game II - CH11

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

[<<< Previous Chapter | Table of Contents | Next Chapter >>>]

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Chapter 11: Resurrection Overture (XI)

Unfortunately, Qi Leren could escape his “date” with the Illusionist, but he couldn’t escape his one with Chen Baiqi.　　

Since there was no specific time for the day's training, Qi Leren got up early the next morning. When he got up, he thought he would suffer from a sore back due to training too hard the previous day, but except for slightly sore thighs, his body had no symptoms of strain, which made Qi Leren feel incredible.　　

Was it because he’d been blessed by Maria’s holy light?　　

Clearly last night when he’d gone to Du Yue, he’d been as tired as a dead dog. Du Yue had received him warmly and easily agreed to sign the confidentiality contract. According to the contract agreement, he wouldn’t be able to reveal this secret to anyone, whether it was in writing or spoken or even from a mind control skill. As long as it was concerning these secrets, he couldn’t say anything and Qi Leren would also feel it if he did.　　

This was actually an unfair contract that had no benefit to Du Yue. Qi Leren wanted to compensate him with some survival time, but Du Yue didn't agree: "I can earn so many survival days because of the clues qianbei gave me. I’ve already made a lot of money, I dare not ask for your days as well. If there’s a chance in the future, please take me with you!"　　

Looking at Du Yue's earnest eyes, Qi Leren agreed without saying anything.　　

At six o'clock in the morning, Qi Leren arrived at Chen Baiqi's shop and tentatively knocked on the door.　　

The door opened and Chen Baiqi, who had already dressed neatly and washed her hair, looked at him with a smile: "That’s very positive. I thought you wouldn’t arrive till after seven o'clock."　　

Qi Leren said that if he really had come after seven o'clock, he wasn’t sure how he’d be treated by Chen Baiqi.　　

"I’m very pleased to see that you’re so motivated. You’ll report to me at this time every day in the future. You know the consequences of being late." Chen Baiqi's smile widened. In Qi Leren’s eyes, this was really a smile full of maliciousness. "As for breakfast, ask Sissi what she wants to eat and get me the same."　　

Sissi, who came out of the back room with a yawn, said sleepily, "Flatbread fitters, thank you."　　

Chen Baiqi had put an hourglass on the table and encouraged Qi Leren by saying, "Twenty minutes."　　

"It takes at least ten minutes to run from here to the market near the steel bridge!" cried Qi Leren.　　

Chen Baiqi glanced at the hourglass: "Nineteen minutes and fifty seconds. If you feel stressed, I can send a lovely dog to accompany you."　　

Accepting his fate, Qi Leren pushed open the door and started to run as if a three-headed hellhound was eyeing his chrysanthemum behind him—truly, this was the most terrible place.　　

Many years later, Qi Leren still remembered the dominating fear of buying breakfast. In a sense, this period of running for his life in the sunset was the worst time in his life. The shopkeepers in the bazaar remembered this wind-like man. He would rush to the booth with short messy hair right on time at about 6:10 every day to buy two breakfasts. If there were other people waiting in line, his bereavement and frequent glances at his watch would make people suspect that he was manic. The most dramatic time, when he was faced with a long queue, he had resolutely cut in line at the expense of paying for everyone else in the line and disappeared from everyone’s sight like an unscrupulous customer who ran out when faced with the bill.　　

—He runs faster than I did when I learned my wife was giving birth, a stall owner said.　　

—Once, he brought a three-headed hellhound to do his morning exercises and ran faster than usual, another vendor said.　　

—That boy is really handsome. If I’m slow at preparing cakes, he almost starts crying in his rush. It's very distressing, a middle-aged female vendor fondly said.　　

People in the market speculated on his origin, but for a long time no one knew who he was, so the "6:10 rush to buy breakfast" was also included in the top ten incredible sights in the Village of Dusk. It’s worth mentioning that a new addition was also added to this list recently—why are there so many tombstones for Qi Leren on Undead Island?　　

However, Qi Leren, who monopolized these two items on the list, had no idea about his "unexpected popularity" because recently he was living a life that was like death. Chen Baiqi happily told him that because Maria’s holy light had blessed him, his body was very "resistant to exercise" and could accept more intensive training. She used this as an excuse to arrange an inhuman training regimen for Qi Leren.　　

Twenty minutes of hard running in the morning was just an appetizer. It was common to practice shooting at the same time. Even swimming from the Village of Dusk’s port to Undead Island was included in the daily training. Before finishing training every day, there was another "love lesson" by Chen Baiqi, which translates to "teaching you how to be hit by various weapons". Even the day when you dislocated your right hand because of shooting practice, you were not spared.　　

At this time, Qi Leren realized that the training menu Ning Zhou had given him was too easy and that he was too gentle as a coach. Just look at the results of Chen Baiqi's devil training: Within a week, when Qi Leren was chased by the three-headed hellhound outdoors, he was able to climb onto the roof without changing color, climbing faster than a monkey. If Chen Baiqi hadn't forbidden him from doing anything to the dog, he would have jumped at the evil dog with a gun.　　

Yes, Qi Leren also learned to shoot, as taught by Chen Baiqi.　　

Before be taught, Chen Baiqi also asked him how much he knew about guns and which one he wanted to try.　　

Although he was a man, he wasn’t very interested in guns. He said, "I don't play shooter games very much. How about a Desert Eagle? I’ve heard those are very powerful."　　

Chen Baiqi rolled her eyes: "You really do know nothing about guns."　　

Chen Baiqi recommended a revolver similar to a Smith Wesson 625, which had a large caliber, six-chambers, and convenient loading that wasn’t easy to jam. It was said that it was made by a gun fan, and that it couldn't be mass-produced at present with the technological level of the Twilight Township. He earned a lot of survival days thanks to this skill.　　

Qi Leren took the strange gun and thought of the problem of the laptop transformer and charger. The craftsman who was still alive when he’d gone last time had been away on a task, and he may have come back now. He would go see about this after today’s training.　　

While training in the afternoon, Chen Baiqi had a whim to teach Qi Leren how to dive, or dive without any equipment to be exact, to exercise his breath-holding ability, compression resistance, and control of his heartbeat and breathing. Since his profession was that of an assassin, he couldn't do without a well-trained heart.　　

Qi Leren listened in anguish to the main points about diving, put on the headlamp, and looked at the endless sea.　　

"I advocate that every player who focuses on the assassin's route should learn to dive, because to be a good assassin he must learn to overcome his nervousness and fear. There’s no training that can train a person better than jumping into the sea alone to challenge your own limits. As you dive deeper and deeper, the light will decrease. In the end, only your own heartbeat will be left in the dark world. It will seem like your soul has escaped from your body and roamed in endless darkness. You will be isolated and helpless. Nothing can save you. You have to learn to rely on yourself. The water pressure in all directions will become stronger and stronger, but the oxygen in your lungs will become less and less, and death will become closer and closer to you, and you won't even know what depth you’re diving to. You will feel fear, more and more fear, and fear will make your heart beat faster, oxygen consumption will increase dramatically, and you will die faster if you cannot overcome this fear." Chen Baiqi looked at Qi Leren, who was shivering in the wind, and smiled happily.　　

"This area isn’t deep. You’ll go down and touch a shell. It’s very simple to do," Chen Baiqi said.　　

Qi Leren said bitterly, "Can you tie a rope around me? What if I can't come back up from the water?"　　

Chen Baiqi's smile grew deeper, and her slender eyebrows made this smile even more malicious: "Don't be afraid, it doesn't matter if you don't come up for a while, anyway. You’ll slowly float up after swelling a little in two days."　　

“………………”

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Editor’s Notes: The next chapter may be a bit late, as I’ve had a hectic last couple weeks and unfortunately have fallen behind. I will try to avoid this though.

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[<<< Previous Chapter | Table of Contents | Next Chapter >>>]

#Welcome to the Nightmare Game #欢迎来到噩梦游戏 #danmei

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more-than-a-princess · 3 years ago

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Hi all! I’ve gotten quite a few new followers over the past two weeks or so and I just wanted to put a PSA out there about interacting with this blog and other important info for new followers and mutuals. There shouldn’t be anything new on here if you’ve been following me for awhile, but I wanted to reiterate a few things:

- I’m primarily a long multi-para to novella blog. While I do one liners and short paragraph interactions occasionally, this is usually for relationships and muses with a history of interactions. The main focus of this blog is longer thread content, though.

- This blog was recently rebooted as I’m aiming for a leaner dash. If you are an RP blog, I encourage you to follow only if you intend to write and thread with me. If you’d prefer to simply read my threads that’s fine, but please follow me on a personal account. This is so I do not accidentally follow you back and get disappointed when I try to interact.

- The best ways to interact/thread with this blog are through memes, asks, and plotted starters. I’m available to plot on tumblr and discord (though I prefer discord! I’m also willing to RP over there as well). I very rarely make starter calls due to negative past experiences and I do not do greeter posts. I will like starter calls, send memes, etc. when I’ve got availability in my writing schedule. I try not to get overwhelmed with too many threads.

- I usually post replies 2x/day and I run on a queue. I tend to reply in chronological order of when I receive replies and asks. I usually only break this when I’m really stumped in how to reply to a thread or if I have multiple asks/threads from the same mun. That way, one person isn’t getting two replies in one day. tl;dr - I am not fast and I usually won’t have 24-48 hour turnaround. I try to keep turnaround to 7 days or less.

- If there’s specific threads and dynamics you’d like to explore (especially platonic and romantic ships), please don’t hesitate to reach out so we can plot! There’s some romantic ships that I’m just not interested in exploring, but otherwise I’m usually pretty open and flexible on this. Please note though that most of my romantic ships are slow-burns and that while I’m open to writing NSFW content, there’s not a lot of it on this blog (mostly as very few relationships have progressed to that point and both muns have to be interested and of age to write that content). If your main blog is primarily smut, I will not follow you back.

- I have limited knowledge on a lot of popular anime fandoms and fandoms that have been big in the past 10-15 years or so. Please be patient with me if I’m unfamiliar with your canon muse or verse! I’ll do the best I can to work with you but having a detailed bio (and not just a link to a wiki) is super helpful. My knowledge of video games is even more limited.

Those are the main points I wanted to hit! Thanks for reading this far. Back to thread replies I go.

#more-than-a-princess musings #(It's just about a month since I rebooted so I thought these were worth mentioning again)

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sdmsims · 3 years ago

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on the subject of commissions and patreon

so while i give my poor brain a break i wanted to write about something thats been on my mind

i’ve gotten multiple anons and ims from people asking if i take commissions, to which my reply is always no because i don’t feel right charging people for meshes i didn’t make. however, i do realize people are willing to pay money to see their fave converted faster and not stuck in my request queue, which is reasonable! i mean, i literally had a bounty for the first person to convert a motion-compatible zinnia to mmd so i can understand wwwwww.

also literally there are ppl making bank off of doing gamerip conversions on patreon so i can perhaps rattle my tin can a lil

for a ‘full’ conversion (character outfit and hair) it usually takes me around 45mins to an hour, depending on how slow my computer decides to be.

so i figured i’d... open commissions, but pretend they’re just you nudging me in the direction of a character with money. $5 will get you any one ‘full’ character (outfit and hair), while $3 would get you just an outfit OR hair, not limited to pokemon characters unlike requests. generally the turnaround for these would be 2 days or less.

my tos would be as goes;

i can convert anything (heavy lean here is gamerips), however i will not convert any non-gamerip made for secondlife or mmd unless you have explicit written permission from the original creator

the final conversion may be released publicly on my blog or kept private, however unless it’s something like your oc or whatever i strongly encourage public release

if you want anything in addition to a ‘full’ conversion (i.e. excessive accessories), ask me about it

i also may begin taking hair edit / full custom hair commissions in the future once i get more confident

if you’re one of the people who’s asked and is still interested, feel free to shoot me an IM!

again though, my pokemon and acnh request box will always be freely open

as for patreon, which i’ve also been asked multiple times about;

im not doing it, never will. i don’t have the dedicated attention span to regularly post (you’ve seen me) and early access makes people sad i don’t wanna do that lol.

if you want to support me my kofi has always been in my pinned

tldr;

i get that the sims 4 community is VERY much based around money , and i’m just here to have fun. but also i understand people would like to support me for what i do, so i figured i’ll let it happen. the support and kindness means a whole lot , thank you!

#long post #the bdsp folder (unzipped) is like 23mb rn help #im like exactly halfway done i think if i go joker mode i can finish it tomorrow

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fandom-necromancer · 4 years ago

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‘You come here often?’ ‘Well I work here.’ Part 4

This was prompted by the lovely AO3 user LoafofCat! Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 [Read complete on AO3]

‘You know, if you just wanted to see me, there would be easier ways.’ ‘Bold of you to assume I come here only to see you.’ Nines smiled looking up to Gavin, who was just untying his apron and sitting down in front of him with a coffee of his own. ‘Am I wrong then?’, the human asked and Nines huffed, letting his head fall. ‘No’, he admitted. ‘Okay, so let me get this right’, Gavin laughed. ‘I had to propose to my boss to get thirium drinks on the menu as a “costumer asked for it” and it might help us crank those numbers up, just so you could plant your ass here in your break?’ ‘It did get you more costumers though’, Nines shrugged pointing to the other tables. ‘That’s not- Nines, do you think I care about this shop? I just work here; I don’t care if… You know what? Screw it. Nice to see you, Nines.’ ‘Nice to see you too’, the android chuckled. ‘How are you?’ ‘Can’t complain. What do you have there?’

Nines looked down on the tablet in his hands. ‘Oh, just work. A case.’ ‘You are on your break and brought work?’, Gavin asked, looking at him sceptically. ‘Tina was right, you really are me just with a little less personality.’ ‘Being nice and polite doesn’t mean not having a personality. You were just an asshole.’ ‘What technically is a personality trait’, Gavin argued, taking a sip from his coffee. ‘Now come on, tell me about your case!’ Nines frowned. ‘I really can’t tell you, it’s-‘ ‘Confidential, I get it. But come on, I’m a former cop I can keep a secret. For old time’s sake.’ The android eyed Gavin and how he looked so eager to get information. It was cute in a way, how he looked in between his eyes and the tablet in his hands. Maybe that’s why Nines showed weakness and caved in.

‘Okay, but you really keep this to yourself. We are investigating a series of murders. They don’t have anything in common in regard to victims or how the deed was done or staged, but at every crime-scene we found the picture of this man.’ Nines flipped through the pictures of the different crime-scenes until he reached a few portraits. They weren’t really the kind of pictures you would expect of a cold-blooded serial-killer. Not after the few flashes of gruesome staging, Gavin caught a glimpse of as Nines had searched for these. They all portrayed a middle-aged man with a small belly you could easily get if you worked long hours in the office and were too exhausted afterwards to do sports. The pictures looked like they were ripped right out of a family photo-album. The guy was at the beach smiling at the camera with a cocktail in hand. The next one showed him in what Gavin supposed to be his home with a small dog on his lap. Then next to a ridiculously oversized barbeque grill all shiny chrome and reds.

Gavin lifted a brow at Nines. ‘Yeah, sorry Nines, but no way this is your killer.’ ‘I ruled it out as unlikely, too’, the android nodded. ‘Although you can never know with people. At the very least it’s a lead. Maybe the killer knows this man. As much as this is a lead, it is also our only link.’ Gavin shrugged, leaning back. ‘Well, why haven’t you solved it then? I mean, you can scan his face and get a name, age, address, likely even social media as creepy as they designed you and Connor. No offense there.’ Nines sighed. ‘As creepy as I might be designed, my scanner has its limits too. I can’t get a name to this man, not even an age. Scanning him just returns an error. Manual research in the police databanks also hasn’t brought up anything yet. We also can’t exactly go around asking for this man. If he is the serial killer, as unlikely as it might seem, we would only alert him.’ Gavin nodded absent-mindedly, staring at the photo, pulling the tablet closer to zoom in on some details. ‘Honestly?’, Nines said frustratedly. ‘We’re all currently waiting for the forensics to find more evidence on the bodies. It’s quite frustrating, but at the same time no one really minds if I spend a bit longer on my break with you.’

Gavin couldn’t help but let out an exaggerated ‘Awww’ at that, Nines reprimanded with an annoyed but amused look. ‘Nah, really thanks, looking at your tablet for what, ten minutes? This was already more exciting than the whole damn month. The most action I had was a drunk guy I had to escort out because everyone else was too chicken shit to risk getting vomited on.’ ‘Understandable.’ ‘Not the point. I mean, I’m happy here, I guess. It is decent money and I have more time for my cats at home. Also, maybe not being confronted with what humans are capable of is nice for a while. But I can basically feel my brain rot here.’ ‘That is also understandable’, Nines huffed. ‘Maybe search for some outside work activity? Something new to learn and keep you active mentally?’ ‘Like what? Knitting?’ ‘If you want that?’ ‘You know what? Maybe not the worst idea. I’ll see if I can find anything and when I have I will-‘

Nines never got to find out what Gavin would do afterwards, as his colleagues called him, pointing at the growing queue. The human sighed. ‘Well, my call to duty’, he announced and walked over to press a quick kiss to the android’s temple. ‘Was nice chatting with you, babe. Good luck with your case.’ ‘Yeah, you too.’

It was a slow Tuesday, without many costumers coming in. The rush of office workers in their break had already stormed the small shop and rushed back to their workplace and now it was mostly a few students and the regular old granny circle in the front judging people and eating cake. Living the life. Gavin had already washed the entire stack of mugs twice now and was out of work, except for manipulating the radio until his co-workers began to wonder why the last song had been so long and found him messing with the system. Then he walked around, collecting discarded newspapers and cleaning the tables while his co-worker told him she would be out for a cigarette. He nodded and continued working until a sole costumer entered. Gavin quickly rubbed the table dry and hurried over, throwing the man an extra smile just in case he wanted to complain about having to wait a few seconds. ‘What can I do for you?’ ‘I’d like a coffee, please. Medium, to go with cream but no sugar.’ ‘Coming right up.’ Gavin was already going through the motions of preparing the coffee and turned around to hand it over. ‘Anything else…’ He trailed off, as he saw the man’s face, but he seemingly hadn’t noticed his slip. ‘No, thank you, that would be all.’

Gavin watched him leave again and was trying to decide what to do next. He couldn’t just leave; he was at work after all. But he couldn’t do nothing either. Frantically he looked through the shop and, in the end, shook his head, rushing past the counter. Outside his co-worker stopped him. ‘Gavin? What are you doing?’ Gavin blinked, but came up with an excuse fast enough: ‘Dude forgot his wallet. Can you take over for a moment? Sorry!’ ‘Sure, no problem. Just hurry, he’s already behind the corner.’

Gavin did hurry. But not to run after the man, but to pull out his phone. ‘Nines? Yes, hi babe I know you are at work, shut up, this is work. Li-Listen, yes. Shut up for just a second! I’m pursuing your office killer. Ye-Yes, exactly, the beach holiday photo model with the ugliest dog I’ve seen in my life. Now will you phcking get your ass here? I will pursue him you can track my phone. Wh- come on, it can’t be that dangerous, I’m still well trained now stop worrying and move your ass!’

He had become louder than he wanted and had caused the man he wanted to follow inconspicuously to turn around. He wasn’t really unsuspicious though, dressed in the silly coffee-shop apron and shouting at someone on the phone. Trying to play it down, Gavin instead tried the open approach: ‘Hey, you forgot your wallet!’ It only caused the man to bolt. So much for being a friendly, costumer-orientated employee. Gavin pushed it all to hell, lifting up his apron and running after the man. So, he did had dirt on him. Gavin followed him down the street and used a streetlight to take the corner with more speed. A mistake he later would regret as he ran face first into a fist that definitely wasn’t human. Seeing stars, he looked up from where he had fallen against the building. The chubby man was surprisingly agile and fast, unfitting to his overall completely average looks. And Gavin saw why: The skin where the man had punched him had retracted to show stern white underneath. The man was an android? Where the hell did he get all these modifications from? Cyberlife had designed all androids to be phcking inhuman models. But maybe that had been the plan. Being as inconspicuous as possible. Remembering the brief flashes of crime-scenes that made him pale. Oh no.

‘How the hell did some barista recognise me, huh?’, the android asked, holding Gavin by the throat, his toes barely touching the ground. ‘You are all over the news!’, Gavin tried. ‘I’m not. None of my doings have even been published yet.’ ‘Well, I was a cop once.’ ‘Were you? Well, who is your contact then? If you were a cop once.’ Gavin really hoped someone would turn the corner and see this to help him. Because the way the android’s hand clenched around his throat, lack of oxygen could soon be his least concern. ‘My boyfriend, okay? But I will never tell you his name!’ ‘Your boyfriend? Alright, thank you. After I killed you, I will go to him next. See if I can’t keep this information from spreading.

The pressure on his throat became almost unbearable, as Gavin saw a flash of white behind the man. ‘I highly doubt that’, Nines voice sounded through the alley and Gavin could see the gun aimed at his head. ‘Now let him down and go.’ The android in front of Gavin cursed, but complied. ‘You are arrested for the suspected murder of three people, as well as the attempted murder of this man. Turn around, hands behind your back.’ Nines handcuffed him, reading him his rights before making the call to the station to send a car.

‘Gavin, that was extremely reckless of you.’ ‘Hey, I got your killer, right?’, Gavin croaked with a cocky grin while rubbing his throat. ‘I solved a case you would have waited weeks on before even getting close to the guy.’ ‘Oh, please, I’m the most advanced android there is. I would have gotten him.’ ‘Yeah, but it was the ex-detective they threw out to replace with you that caught him in the end. Please, rub that into Fowler’s face for me, would you?’ ‘I most certainly won’t’, Nines stated. ‘I will emphasize your involvement in this case though, what at least should keep your employer off your ass.’ ‘Oh, what would I do without you?’ The android in Nines grip struggled against him, causing Nines to return his attention to him. ‘Urgh, get a room, you two!’ ‘Excellent idea actually. Gavin, how about after our shifts ended, we meet at my place? You know? To celebrate.’ ‘Oh, I’d love to’, Gavin grinned and winked the RK900.

The captive criminal got a glimpse of the gesture and regretted it deeply. ‘Oh, please, just kill me, would you?’

#detroit become human #dbh #Reed900 #RK900 #Gavin Reed

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artificialqueens · 4 years ago

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Stupid For You, Chapter 7 (Crygi, Jankie, Jaida x Nicky) - Metaluna

Fic summary: A cliche lesbian AU. It’s the summer before Gigi goes to college, and she decides it’s time to take a job at a local amusement park. There, she meets Crystal, a beautiful girl that she with bonds over the anxiety of the service industry. Almost immediately, Gigi gets it BAD for Crystal. Meanwhile, Jackie definitely ISN’T gay. She likes men. Only. Men. What happens when a beautiful girl named Jan comes into the picture? And lastly, Nicky flirts with anything with a pulse. Jaida falls for anyone who gives her attention. This is going to be one interesting summer

Chapter summary: If anyone knows how to party, it’s the staff of Paradise Isle. When Brita turns 21, she’s determined to have the biggest party Paradise Isle has ever seen.

A/N: Hi everyone! I officially outlined the rest of the fic so it’s going to be 10 chapters total, three more to go!!

By the time Gigi made it down the exit ramp, all she wanted to do was leave. She heard Jan behind her, but kept moving forward. Her heart beat was pounding in her ears and she began to feel warm tears form in her eyes.

“Gigi, wait!” Jan called.

Gigi didn’t listen and instead kept walking. Jan managed to chase her all the way into The Landing until Gigi stopped dead in her tracks, rested her face in her hands and started crying. Wordlessly, Jan went up to her and wrapped her in a gentle embrace. Once Gigi broke away, Jan led them to a bench, and stayed quiet. She knew Gigi was about to explode at any second.

And she was right.

“How could she do that? What the hell? If she didn’t want to see me, she could have just fucking said something! I have no idea what the hell I did to her and why she’s acting the way she is, but I guess fuck my feelings! Right? Just fuck them!” Gigi threw her hands up in frustration before crying into Jan’s shoulder.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Jan cooed rubbing Gigi’s hair. She knew Gigi’s mascara was staining her shirt, but it was something she could worry about later.

“How could she?” Gigi’s voice was barely above a whisper.

“I don’t know, baby. There’s no way to know what’s running through her bizarre little head.”

Gigi wiped her eyes, trying to salvage what was left of her makeup. “I’m overreacting.”

“No, you aren’t. You need to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling. Your feelings are valid and you’re entitled to them,” Jan said firmly.

“I want to hate her.”

“Why?”

Gigi sighed. “I want to hate her, because that means I wouldn’t be in love with her anymore.”

“Wow,” Jan began. “I didn’t realize you were in that deep.”

“Jan, it’s bad.”

“Sounds like it.”

“If I could just hate her, I could be done and move on. I hate that when I see her pictures on Instagram with her shitty boyfriend, all I can do is think about how I wish it was me. I hate that she’s the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing I think about when I go to bed. I just want to hate her.”

“Do you honestly believe do any good?” Jan questioned.

Gigi mulled it over and sighed. “No. What am I going to do?”

“I wish I knew what to tell you, Gigi, but I don’t. But, we can figure out what we’re doing tonight. Do you want to leave, or do you want to keep hanging out with everyone? After the look I gave her and what I said to her, I don’t think she’ll come anywhere near you anytime.”

Gigi looked stunned. “Jan what the hell did you tell her?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Jan winked.

“I’m not going to let her ruin my night.” Gigi’s tone was determined. “Let’s go.”

–

Nicky and Jaida were awkwardly left behind in the queue. Since they were next, they ended up going on the roller coaster. Jaida had to admit, a roller coaster was a lot less fun when one of your friends was experiencing emotional trauma, even if you were in the front.

“Should we go find them?” Nicky asked as she grabbed her purse.

Jaida thought for a moment and said, “Honestly? I don’t want to make it worse. Gigi trusts Jan and I want Gigi to talk through all the emotional shit she’s feeling.”

“Good point.”

Jaida and Nicky made their way through The Backlands. Jaida knew that she had feelings for Nicky that Nicky didn’t share. Jaida also knew that every time they slept together, she felt herself falling a little harder. As much as Jaida didn’t want to break her own heart for her final summer at the park, she swore something felt different about Nicky.

As they walked, Jaida swung her hand forward making contact with Nicky’s to test her response.

“Sorry,” Nicky mumbled putting her hand closer to her side.

The response is not the one Jaida was looking for, which caused her to sigh.

Nicky slowed her pace. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Jaida forced a smile. “Just tired.”

“Gotcha.”

Jaida wondered how dense Nicky could be. Even though Jaida couldn’t be mad that Nicky didn’t return her feelings, it still frustrated her. While Jaida knew it was a horrible idea to keep going with their fling, she liked Nicky so much that she’d rather have her physically than not at all.

Or did she?

This wasn’t healthy for her mental state. Jaida had enough on her plate already. Between writing essay after essay for law schools throughout the country as well as working six days a week, Jaida was nearing her limit. As much as she tried to tell herself that her fling with Nicky helped her decompress, she knew that wasn’t the case. It made everything much, much worse. Before she could think on it further, she was interrupted by her phone vibrating with a text from Jan.

so I honestly cant tell if gigi’s more hurt or pissed at crystal and honestly it really doesnt matter but she did say she wants to keep the night to keep going so I say let’s do it! we’re at the landing rn, where are you??

Quickly, Jaida reiterated to Nicky the situation, and texted back, Okay, good! We’ll meet you there.

The rest of the night was filled with memorable selfies, laughs that were mostly at the extent of Jan’s inability to ride roller coasters, and by the end of the night, Gigi felt great, and was determined to not let one person ruin what was already an incredible summer.

Following National Roller Coaster Day, Jaida, Nicky, Jan, and Gigi bonded even further, and became inseparable. Through hanging out with Jan, Gigi also developed a very close bond with Jackie. Gigi never had a group of friends before, and was thankful she had such an amazing group of friends.

Gigi formed such a close bond with her friends that she all but forgot about Crystal. At times, they ran into each other in the break room, and every time, they didn’t so much as look at each other. While the environment was tense, there was never any negativity. No one was outwardly mean to each other. In fact, everyone but Gigi maintained being friendly with Crystal. Gigi couldn’t allow this to upset her, since they were all adults and could choose their friends. At times though, it did feel like a punch in the gut when Gigi was on her breaks and saw Jan stop to talk to Crystal.

One day, Gigi sat in the breakroom. As she at her lunch, Brita sat across from her.

“Hey, Brita,” Gigi greeted.

“As you know, my birthday is drawing near.”

All Brita talked about was how she was going to turn twenty one in a couple of weeks. Everyone knew it was Brita’s birthday, including people who didn’t even know Brita.

“So I’ve heard!”

“My parents are actually going to be out of town. So, I’m going to have a party. Not just any party. No, this party is going to be so big and so memorable that they’ll be talking about this like five summers from now.”

Gigi raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

Brita nodded. “I’m inviting literally everyone I know who works here…”

Gigi caught on to what Brita was saying. Even the people who weren’t well versed in what happened between Gigi and Crystal knew something was wrong. “That’s fine, Brita. I’m not going to let my relationship, or lack thereof, with someone ruin your birthday.”

“Good. It’s this Wednesday, starting at 10. That way everyone has time to get ready after work. Thank god for shortened park hours.”

The scheduling gods smiled upon Jaida, Nicky, Gigi, and Jackie. Somehow they all ended up with the same days off, one of which being Friday. It helped that Jaida always sweet talked the scheduler, and the scheduler knew who her friends were. Jaida wasn’t about using her feminine charm to get what she wanted.

The girls all agreed to get ready at Gigi’s, because she had the largest space. Getting ready with others was much more fun for Gigi than getting ready alone. Although, she had to admit it was a different feeling when she and Crystal got ready together for Heidi’s party. She forced that thought out of her head as she put on an 80’s playlist. Deciding what to wear to a party was Gigi’s favorite part of getting ready. Even if she didn’t want to admit it, she wanted this party to be the exact opposite as the previous party. Because of this, Gigi opted to wear a tight orange halter top with an blue high-waisted shorts, which was the exact opposite of her black and white outfit.

“You look like your room,” Jan teased eyeing Gigi’s room decor.

Gigi rolled her eyes. “It’s not my fault that my two favorite colors look amazing on me.”

“Fair,” Jaida mused as she rummaged through her bag. “Shit. I forgot my eyelash glue.”

Nicky, who was sitting cross-legged on the ground blending out a smoky eye tossed hers to Jaida. “Here.”

“Thank you,” Jaida smiled sweetly expertly applying an eyelash.

Jackie looked on incredulously. “I have no idea how you do it.”

“Lots and lots of practice,” Jaida said as she batted her eyelashes in Jackie’s direction.

“Do you ever wear more than mascara and eyeliner in your waterline?” Nicky questioned, admiring her appearance in a hand mirror.

Jackie shook her head. “I just… don’t know how to do anything else. One time I tried to do wings and it looked like a drunk toddler did them. No wait, a drunk toddler would have done better.“

Jan’s face brightened. “Can I please do your makeup? Please?”

After hesitating, Jackie said, “What the hell. Why not?”

Jan squealed as she made her way over to Jackie, who was sitting in the chair at Gigi’s desk. Watching Jan do Jackie’s makeup made Gigi feel a pang of jealousy. All through high school, she’d never had the desire to date. Of course, she definitely didn’t want a boyfriend. But, she never thought about having a girlfriend either, and only knew that she liked girls. She also never had a friend group like the one she had now. She also never thought she’d have a group of friends she could trust as much as she trusted the friends she made. For once in her life, Gigi felt safe enough to come out. Other than her family, Jan was the only person who knew, and the only reason she’d told Jan in the first place was because she was about to have a mental breakdown. But, it was time. Gigi paused the playlist.

“Everything okay, Gigi?” Nicky questioned.

Gigi took a breath. “Yes, but there’s something I have to tell all of you.”

Jan locked eyes with Gigi, already knowing what she was going to say.

“What is it?” Jaida asked setting down her brush.

“I like girls.”

Jaida ran to Gigi to give her a hug. “We love you.”

Jan laughed. “Welcome to the club.”

As Gigi unpaused the music, she breathed a sigh of relief as she topped her nude lip with gloss.

“All done!” Jan announced as she brushed powder off of Jackie’s face.

Once Gigi saw Jackie, she exclaimed, “Oh, wow.”

Jackie was already an extremely beautiful girl, but Jan’s handiwork enhanced her features. Because she knew that Jackie wasn’t one for the extravagant, Jan stuck with neutrals that gave Jackie the most effortless no-makeup-makeup look. Gigi knew that Jan was a talented makeup artist, but the makeup she did on Jackie proved it, because it was the exact opposite of Jan’s colorful halo eye she did on herself.

“Holy shit! I look good.”

Jan rolled her eyes. “You always look good, baby.”

“Thank you,” Jackie said as she kissed Jan on the cheek.

“We must commemorate this momentous occasion,” Jaida said dramatically as she signaled everyone to come in for a group photo.

“You have to take it,” Nicky said. “You have the longest arms.”

Jaida rolled her eyes. “Always.”

Once there were a few photos they were all satisfied with Gigi looked at her phone. “If we need to make a liquor run, we should probably leave now.”

Everyone piled in to Gigi’s Jeep, the group was enthusiastically discussing the night ahead. On the way to the liquor store, Jaida, who was already twenty one, made a list of what she had to purchase.

“Y’all are gonna make me look like I have a drinking problem. You best be Venmo-ing me interest,” she teased.

“We don’t have interest in France, I don’t know what that is,” Nicky joked.

Jaida playfully hit her. “You’ve lived here for over ten years.”

Nicky shushed her. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Jesus Christ, just kiss already,” Gigi teased as she pulled into the liquor store’s parking lot.

Once Jaida was inside the store, Jan spoke up. “What’s actually going on between you two?”

Nicky shrugged. “Just something for us to blow off some steam.”

Jackie hesitated. “Nicky, you realize that Jaida’s never had a girlfriend before.”

“Yeah, and?”

“She also falls really hard really quickly.”

Nicky exhaled. “She never told me that. She told me that she was good keeping it casual. She tried to bring it up a while ago, but I just thought… I feel terrible.”

“It’s not your fault, honey,” Jan said.

Before Nicky could respond, Jaida returned to the car.

“That was fast,” Gigi said.

“I’ve been to that store so many times, I know where everything is.”

Gigi had heard from other people that Brita had a large house, but she didn’t expect it to be quite so big. The driveway which was lined with cars spanned the length of most people’s front yards. The house looked to be three stories and was a modern build, which was a contrast to the other ranch-style houses in the area. The music could be heard from outside of the house, and Gigi mused about how Brita was lucky that she had no neighbors.

“Damn,” Gigi said as she shut her car door.

“Yeah,” Jaida began. “Brita’s parents are fucking loaded.”

“Clearly,” Jan said.

The inside of the house was just as grandiose as the outside. Gigi thought that it looked like the sample rooms inside of furniture stores. She didn’t realize that people’s houses actually could look like that. The living room was decorated with fairy lights and streamers, and in the corner were two gold balloons that said 21. The party was already abuzz, the entirety of the first floor was full of people, most of which Gigi didn’t recognize, and was almost certain Brita probably didn’t either.

Brita greeted them at the door, pulling them into a hug. Gigi could already smell the alcohol. “Hi, babes!”

“Happy birthday, bitch!” Jaida exclaimed handing Brita a fifth of Everclear.

Brita’s laugh was loud enough that it could be heard over the music. “You rotted bitch.”

“On our first season together, Brita drank way too much Everclear and got super hungover, and had to call out the next day,” Jaida explained. “You best be getting that drunk again tonight. If I see you at work tomorrow, I’m going to be pissed.“

“I have tomorrow off,” Brita said smugly.

“You’re going to need it,” Jan teased.

“Thanks! So over there we have a photobooth, beer pong in the dining room, the pool’s available if you want, too. Oh, and if you need a place to get down and dirty,” she looked at Nicky and Jaida. “Just don’t use my bedroom.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Jaida said, rolling her eyes.

As everyone was about to explore, Brita screeched, “Wait!”

“What?” Gigi asked.

“Let’s do a shot of this.” Brita raised the bottle of Everclear.

“Oh dear, God,” Jackie said making gagging noises.

“It’s my birthday, bitches!”

Since nobody could argue with that, they went in to the kitchen. In the attached dining room, an intense game of beer pong was going down with Widow and Heidi against Crystal and some boy Gigi vaguely recognized as being one of the team leads in games. Trying to stay casual, Gigi waved to Heidi and Widow who smiled in return. Thankfully, Crystal’s back was turned to Gigi, and by the time she turned, Gigi had her back turned to take the shot.

“I’m already too drunk to pour the shots,” Brita slurred.

Jaida rolled her eyes as she took the bottle and expertly poured shots.

“To Brita!” Gigi said raising her glass.

“To Brita!” Everyone repeated as they toasted, set the shot on the table, and took the shot.

Gigi thought she was good at taking shots. But, Gigi had also never had Everclear. Convinced that its reputation preceded it, she didn’t properly prepare herself. She thought she was just taking a shot of cheap vodka, not a shot of rubbing alcohol.

“Merde!” Nicky exclaimed.

Jackie set her glass down as she winced. “That was so bad, Nicky forgot how to speak English!”

Because she couldn’t get the taste of shitty vodka out of her mouth, the only thing Gigi could do was to drink something else. The Whiteclaw Jaida bought for her tasted like juice in comparison, so much so that Gigi drank it a lot faster than she should have.

As Gigi felt the alcohol hit, Jan said, “Let’s go take pictures.”

Most of the time, Gigi found photobooths to be tacky. They were a staple of boring weddings and basic-ass graduation parties. But, because she already had a nice buzz going, she gladly posed with oversized sunglasses.

Everyone sat on a red leather couch as they began drinking. Jan and Jackie shared a bottle of rum that they chased with Diet Coke. Jaida was chasing her Jack with ginger ale. Nicky, on the other hand, was shooting whiskey like there was no tomorrow. Gigi felt lame that everyone else wad drinking liquor but her, but she didn’t care. She wanted to enjoy what she was drinking.

When a Madonna song began playing, the girls screeched and made their way to the dancefloor. Gigi had decent rhythm, but tonight, as far as she was concerned, she was killing it. As she dropped low, she almost fell, but kept her balance as she made her way back up. While she watched Jackie and Jan dancing closely and watched Nicky grind against Jaida, Gigi couldn’t help but feel like a fifth wheel. She remedied the situation by cracking open another Whiteclaw.

“I need a break,” Nicky announced when the song ended.

Jan whispered something in Jackie’s ear before saying, “We’ll be back!”

“May I have this dance, Ms. Hall?” Gigi asked holding her hand out.

“Oh, bitch, you know it.”

After a few songs, Gigi announced, “I’ll be back!”

It was the time of the night that Gigi needed to break her seal. Unfortunately for her, there was a line for the bathroom. She dramatically jumped up and down until she made it to the bathroom. Once she finished, she was greeted by a sobbing Jaida.

“Jaida, what the fuck is wrong?” Gigi asked leading her into a bedroom upstairs.

“Nicky,” Jaida managed.

“What about Nicky?”

“I went to go find her to see if she wanted to dance or something, but then… I saw her… and I saw Brita. On the couch… making out.”

It was very clear that Jaida had too much to drink. For a while, Gigi was convinced that this year would break the streak of Jaida getting her heart broken. Even though Gigi wanted to give Jaida some tough love and tell her she and Nicky weren’t exclusive, she knew it wasn’t the time for that. Instead, she wrapped her in a hug.

“Hey,” Gigi said stroking Jaida’s hair. “It’s okay.”

“I knew that she didn’t want a relationship. Why does this hurt so much?”

“Because you like her, clearly a lot.”

“Why does this always happen?” Jaida wailed.

Gigi knew she wasn’t good at comforting people, but decided to try her best. “I don’t know. But Jaida, your makeup is far too pretty to cry it all off.”

Hoping that Jaida would find her comment funny, Gigi tried to laugh. This only made Jaida cry harder. Fuck. Gigi knew she wasn’t any good at any of this, but she knew who was. She needed to find Jan before Jaida lost her mind.

“I’ll be back,” Gigi said leaving a sobbing Jaida in the bedroom.

Gigi searched the entire first floor for Jan with no luck. Eventually, she ran into Jackie.

“Gigi, what the hell is happening? Jaida’s apparently crying, Nicky left… What’s going on?” Jackie demanded.

“I guess Jaida found Brita and Nicky making out.”

Jackie groaned. “Of course Because why would she be able to make it a summer without getting her pretty little heart broken?”

When Jackie and Jan made their way back in the bedroom, Jaida was right where Gigi left her.

“Do you know where Jan is?” Gigi questioned as Jackie was hugging a very distraught Jaida.

“I think she’s outside.”

“If anyone knows how to handle this, it’s her,” Gigi said as she walked downstairs.

Gigi realized just how drunk she was as she stumbled around trying to find Jan. Eventually, she found her comforting some random drunk girl. To Gigi’s horror, the random drunk girl ended up being Crystal.

“Uh, I need you,” Gigi said awkwardly walking to Jan.

Jan looked at Gigi and mouthed, “Help me,” as she broke away from Crystal. “What’s up, gorg?”

Crystal awkwardly stood next to Jan, swaying back and forth. Gigi couldn’t help but wonder how much Crystal had to drink.

“It’s Jaida.”

“Oh my God, I haven’t seen Jaida in ages,” Crystal slurred.

Jan shushed Crystal. “What’s wrong with her?”

“She found Nicky making out with Brita,” Gigi explained.

Jan groaned. “This is bad.”

“That’s really not good. Are they fighting?” Crystal tried as hard as possible to not slur her speech. “Fighting is bad.”

Rolling her eyes, Jan said, “Yes, honey. Fighting is bad. Really bad.“

Crystal stumbled toward Gigi. “Gigi, I’m really sorry we’re fighting.”

Gigi ignored her. “Jan, can you do that thing where you comfort people when they’re crying?”

“I can try,” Jan said.

“Gigi! Stop ignoring me. We’re fighting! And I don’t want us to!” Crystal pouted.

“Crystal, we can discuss this when you’re sober,” Gigi said firmly.

“I’m sober enough!” Crystal said jumping up and down. She then stopped and put one hand over her mouth and one on her stomach.

“Crystal. No!” Gigi screeched.

It was too late. Crystal lost all the alcohol she’d consumed. Jan reacted quickly enough to take a step back, but Gigi wasn’t that lucky. Gigi screamed as her favorite boots became covered in vomit.

"What the fuck?!” Gigi screamed.

#rpdr fanfiction #gigi goode #crystal methyd #jackie cox #jan sport #jaida essence hall #nicky doll #crygi #jankie #jaida x nicky #lesbian au #slow burn #stupid for you #metaluna #submission #s12

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