#:3 now i just have to finish dead space 2
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“The strings are wrapped around you,” or, a discussion about Truthless Recluse, Pure Vanilla, and an idea of an awakening
One of the things I’ve been hung up on ever since finishing A Game of Truth and Deceit’s story is the fact that the things Truthless Recluse says does not feel exactly in character for Pure Vanilla. I’m sure this is the point. You’re supposed to get that feeling out of hearing him, Gingerbrave even directly points it out.
So, other than the corruption, why the so sudden change? Why is he suddenly turning against everyone? And most importantly, how is he supposed to get out of it?
Or, a CRK analysis/theory of sorts regarding Beast-Yeast episode 7, as well as how episode 8 might go, split into sections below the cut.
1 - An Introduction
I will start off by saying that before this update came out, I was one of the people adamant that Pure Vanilla was not going to end up corrupted. Not because I didn’t want anything bad to happen to him, but because I couldn’t see a reason why.
For as much as Shadow Milk could break him, dig into his biggest fears and insecurities and make them appear real, there wasn’t a reason to me for him to suddenly turn against everyone on his own— not when those around him had consistently helped him, bringing him out of what might have been the worst dips of his bad mental state. Not unless Shadow Milk was able to really manipulate him into it.
Then again, I knew what Shadow Milk could do. I knew he could control the will of other cookies (seen with the faerie cookies), and disguise himself in another form (see: every time he impersonates the Light of Truth). I also knew Pure Vanilla would be vulnerable to him, both with the bad mental state, and by the fact that the first time they encountered each other, he was already struggling. The right strings being pulled could just make him snap.
And then, I saw Truthless Recluse. And I lost my mind.
So, the point of all this. I had been TERRIFIED before this update how Pure Vanilla would fall. I thought he’d have his sense of self broken, all his emotions toyed with, sure, but I wasn’t ready for a FULL CORRUPTION. Then I got to thinking: it’s been a pattern this happens, right? In the Ancient vs Beast chapters, they encounter each other, fight in some way, and the Ancient somehow loses their connection to their respective Light. They only awaken after, picking themself back up from the brink of defeat. And we already know Awakened Pure Vanilla exists, so that leaves the question: how do you help him? How does he come back from where he is now? How does he awaken if he’s already been “defeated?”
That’s what I’m here to discuss.
2 - The Spider-Man meme problem
So! Fortune Teller. That guy.
Almost everyone I saw took one look at him in the trailers and KNEW he was Pure Vanilla. Had to be. The voice was the same, appearance the same, motifs the same, the character design was a pretty big giveaway. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, yknow. It’s probably a duck.
And that presumption was right! Fortune Teller is Truthless Recluse, and by extension, Pure Vanilla.
How can that happen, though? If Pure Vanilla talks directly to Fortune Teller, how can they be the same? Luckily, the game decides to answer this question on its own!
So, if this is a space the future of the past (the present) and the future of the present (just the future) can both exist… that means Fortune Teller, and by extension, Truthless Recluse, are likely from the future. Not only because we’ve seen PV walking around in the present, but because we KNOW how TR talks about PV like he’s dead, as well as because of a fun little quote from Shadow Milk!
“In the end, you will become me.”
This is what I’m going to be building the rest of this off of. Stick with me here.
3 - What’s that, puppet boy??
Lies. Manipulation. Deceit.
These are the things Shadow Milk lives for. But any good snake, any good spider weaving a web, knows that the best lies have a hint of truth to them. This is what I intend to dissect.
It feels... a bit strange to think that Pure Vanilla could become someone like Shadow Milk. And yet, the signs are already there. He isn't honest with himself, tells white lies in the hopes that it may make someone feel better rather than the cruel truth, and his mental state is already in a horrid place. Of course, none of these are particularly bad things, they're human, and I can't blame him for any of it. But they're also all undeniably things that could lead him to snapping. What's the point doubt is all that's left? What's the point that he delves into the comfort of the lie of fantasy? What's the point that reality is too much agony to bear? Is that not how the Fount of Knowledge became the Master of Deceit, finding that cookies enjoyed the sweet lie more than the cruel truth?
“In the end, you will become me.”
And so, he just might.
So, consider. If present and future can both at once in Shadow Milk's domain, if Fortune Teller is not merely an illusion, then who's to say Truthless Recluse isn't who Pure Vanilla is destined to become?
The best lies have a shred of truth. This is our (hypothetical) truth. If nothing changes, if Pure Vanilla falls to Shadow Milk's games, lets himself be broken, plays the role he's had laid out for him ever since he was young (once again, if we choose to take that as truth and not an illusion), then his fate is sealed.
"Despair follows in your footsteps... A river lies on your path. Cross it, and you will face unfathomable dread. Turn back... Turn back before it is too late. Turn back before the cold flames of doubt swallow you whole."
That river is fast approaching, if it hasn’t already.
4 - Finding truth, breaking strings
Let's circle back to one of my first points.
"Then I got to thinking: it’s been a pattern this happens, right? In the Ancient vs Beast chapters, they encounter each other, fight in some way, and the Ancient somehow loses their connection to their respective Light. They only awaken after, picking themself back up from the brink of defeat. And we already know Awakened Pure Vanilla exists, so that leaves the question: how do you help him? How does he come back from where he is now? How does he awaken if he’s already been ‘defeated?’"
Is episode seven not still following the same formula, yet iterating on it in its own unique way? Pure Vanilla comes directly into contact with Shadow Milk, and tries to defend himself the most he can. However, he's a lot more vulnerable than the others this time around— after all, lies and truth cannot exist without the other. They're not entirely opposites. After having his sense of self shattered, Pure Vanilla falls from the Spire. Somewhere, he loses his connection to his Light of Truth. Enter: Truthless Recluse.
We know Pure Vanilla will eventually be awakened (see: dev commentary), so how does he leave the state he's in? How do you come back from falling so far?
This is where our "Truthless Recluse is a future version of Pure Vanilla" idea comes in handy! To put it simply: he hasn't become him yet. Not in reality. The present Pure Vanilla has fallen somewhere deep, deep down, into the darkest abyss... And has yet to come back. It sets a perfect scene to trick those closest to Pure Vanilla to believe the lie wrapped in truth of his ‘death,’ doesn't it?
It also solves our characterization problem from the very beginning of this post. I never said he immediately becomes Truthless Recluse. Given that in this interpretation, TR is what PV will eventually become, it provides a reason for Truthless Recluse to say the things he does, and act the way he does. Maybe Pure Vanilla wouldn’t have said or done those things, but to Truthless Recluse, that part of himself has long been dead.
So. Where does Pure Vanilla find his truth?
It could be a lot of things. However, one of the main things I've seen reiterated is just how much Shadow Milk toys with the mind. Right now, Pure Vanilla likely believes his entire life is a lie. Not once has he had free will. Since birth, he has been a marionette on strings, a plaything for a being beyond everything he ever knew. Every action, every decision, it was just part of an Oscar-worthy performance. Everything he may have once defined as himself is null.
And even worse: there's no one to drag him out of it this time. White Lily is gone, off on her own mission. Gingerbrave and his friends have Truthless Recluse to deal with. The Light of Truth is silent. Everyone, everything he may have depended on isn't there. It's just him, the Other-Realm, and eyes that have been watching for his entire lifetime.
To get out, he has to break the strings. Just as he once awoke from his prison when he needed to confront his past, he can do it again. But this time, it isn't going to be while he hides under another identity, it isn’t going to be while telling himself a lie. Outsmart the snake, remember, remember, remember. Hold onto the love, the care, the things that are true. No amount of deceit can change how he once felt. They say the heart is true. Maybe that's the key out.
To put it more simply: no matter what it ends up being that causes it, he needs to realize himself that he is in charge of his own destiny. The truth of the question "who am I" is "whoever you want to be." It isn't an question that can be answered by someone else. You only become fully truthless, only fully wall yourself away from everyone if you choose to do so. It isn't fate.
And so, in the end, I think Pure Vanilla will awaken. By proxy, if my entire idea here were to be true, Truthless Recluse would cease to exist. Paradoxes are funny that way. There's no way for that ending to exist if it's no longer the future that lies ahead.
5 - A conclusion
I have absolutely no clue what's coming in episode eight. I'll say that upfront. I have no clue, and it terrifies me. I love Pure Vanilla, I want him to make it out of this, but I know he won't make it out unscathed. The tragedy could stay, it could just be for this episode, it's unclear. We just have to wait until episode eight goes live.
Regardless, I want him to struggle. I don't think it makes sense for him to get out of this easily. Not when he considers himself pathetic, not when he can't trust the voice of the Light of Truth, not when he's been questioning himself. Let that doubt sink into him. Let him rebuild himself, piece by shattered piece. It makes for an emotional story, and makes me like Pure Vanilla even more as a character. Maybe that's just the Omori fan in me, but I love delves into characters' minds like that.
It may not be anything like what I've discussed here, but I'm very excited to see what Devsisters does. This is all I'm going to be thinking about until then.
#I'm like. 90% sure that this won't happen#but I still think it's fun to explore#and maybe other people will like it too!!#I've just had this ruminating on top of all the DE/TR similarities I could talk about#and also the whole truth/freedom rant about PV and WL lmao#can't wait for Beast-Yeast episode 8#cookie run spoilers#crk spoilers#cookie run kingdom spoilers#truthless recluse#pure vanilla cookie#pure vanilla crk#cookie run kingdom#crk
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i finished dead space (2023)!! and i finished dead space (2008) a couple days ago!!!
#it's taken over a decade and a remake coming out for me to actually play one of my all time favorite games#tbf it's an entertaining one to watch other people play#:3 now i just have to finish dead space 2#and uh#if i feel like it i guess i could play dead space 3#but it just like#it's painful enough watching it be played lol#i could force dystriplica to play the co-op with me#'hey you wanna play a game that just really fucking sucks?'
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Love isn't dead
Yandere cupid x reader
Tw: yandere, minor mention of body horror, obsessive and possessive behavior, isolation
💌you couldn't remember when he first appeared or when you could feel another presence near you. All you knew was that you had a cupid trying to set you up.
💘always nonchalant when you'd open a closet door and he'd be hiding inside. Pausing to stare before continuing to put the towels away. He swore you could see right through him and at him at the same time. But that shouldn't be possible. Because humans can't see cupids. They're not supposed to
💌but that obviously wasn't the case with you. Sweetheart quickly became more bold. Watching you quietly and forgetting his task of finding your soulmate. It got to a point where you blatantly confronted him after you finished bathing, noticing a pair of pink heart eyes staring at you from the top of the shower curtain half way
"are you going to keep staring at me like a creep or are you going to actually introduce yourself?"
"gah-!! Ah.. uh right! Ofcourse! I-im sweetheart! Pleasure to meet you!"
💘after Introducing yourself, you set some ground rules. 1. Don't watch you while you shower, use the bathroom, or sleep 2. Don't Invade your space 3. He can't stalk you while you're out and about
💌at first he followed these rules, nodding obediently and following them diligently. But then he noticed something.. when did you become so beautiful? He swore you were more beautiful than his mother.. so kind and patient, he almost didn't want to finish his job, just stay here with you forever. Offering him food, caring for him, giving him hugs and cheek kisses. He wanted more.
💘he broke your rules, but he never let you find out. He'd never want to upset you! Having gotten better in hiding, he silently watches from the shadows. taking things he's sure you won't notice. All he talks and asks about now is what you like, what you're thinking of or if you got your eye on anyone. Claiming it's because he's curious about humans
💌 growing possessive, he uses one of his hate arrows whenever a suitor tries to approach you. How dare they try and take what was his! Can't they see you're too perfect for them!? He saw everything else as inferior to you, nobody was worthy to see your smile. A god/dess among rubbish.
💘he started using his arrows to distance your loved ones, until he was all that you had left. Comforting you, holding you close, wiping away your tears. He felt a foreign burning feeling in-between his legs whenever he saw you cry. Wanting nothing more than to lick them up but he knew you would consider it weird
💌he didn't dare use a love arrow on you, he wanted to see you. The real you at all times. Ignoring the angry calls his mother and siblings would send him, urging him to finish his job and come back home. So he did something he never would have thought of doing. Something irreversible. He cut off his wings, turning him mortal
💘he smiled up at you with a lovesick grin, while you could only stare at him in horror. You had just gotten back from a miserable day at work and stumbled into the bathroom to find it bloody and covered in familiar pink feathers. Slowly walking backwards, glancing at the small bones of where his wings use to be, sticking out. Bloody and mangled.
"this is all for you.. don't you see? I'M your soulmate! We were made for eachother my darling! So let's be together forever.."
#queenie ocs#queenie writes#yandere x darling#ocs#yandere x reader#yandere#yandere male#yandere female#yandere male x reader#male yandere#Gn reader#FEM reader#Male reader#x reader#x male reader#X FEM reader#x gn reader#x female reader#Yandere x you#Yandere x darling#Yandere cupid#Yandere angel#Yandere cupid x reader#Sweetheart the cupid#Yandere oc x reader#Yandere oc#yandere headcanons#yandere fic
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I'll listen to you next time. Okay? ~
Concept: Yandere Space Explorer x Gn Reader: Spicy Edition
Summary: Orion ignores your pleas to stay home and decides to follow you into the jungle.
TW: NS//FW, finger/ing, dub-con?, biting, general yandere stuff, riding, just being horny yk
Word count: 1.4k
Note: I'm like a thousand followers late but here's the first part of the thousand (now 2 thousand?!?!) follower celebration I promised!! I plan on breaking it up into 3 different posts for each character. First will be Orion, then Ivar and Atticus last!
Entry Date XX-XX-XXX Y/n has begun hoarding large amounts of food lately. No preference for food in the pile with the exception of Aishi flowers. Behavior lately has been erratic. Body language suggests uneasiness and anxiety. They’ve instructed me to stay in the hut for a few days while they leave on a journey. They brought all the Aishi flowers with them along with half the food pile. In order to understand their behavior, I am choosing to ignore their request and will follow them. I have-
"Oh fuck” Orion whispered as he finally noticed how lifeless the jungle had suddenly become.
He was utterly absorbed in finishing his journal entry, neglecting to watch his surroundings despite your repeated warnings. Orion couldn't determine how long the forest had been silent.
He quietly packed up his items, his heart pounding and his breath quickening.
It's fine. You were pretty close. You were just a few hundred feet inside a nearby cave that he'd tracked you down to.
Keep calm. Orion reminded himself multiple times as his feet picked up the pace. His eyes caught a glimpse of something purple stalking him.
No more calm.
Orion booked it. He clutched his satchel tightly while weaving through the jungle. Roots nearly tripped him. The jungle began to blur into a confusing tapestry of blue, green, and every other color.
Suddenly, he was pinned to the ground. Its sharp teeth flashed, and a disgusting smell wafted into his nose.
"GET OFF ME" Orion yelled as he attempted to kick the beast off him.
The kick did very little to harm it. At most, he probably annoyed the creature. The beast growled and opened its mouth wider.
Something pushed the giant beast off him just as it was about to take a bite. The beast staggered back in shock. A large howl escaped the beast.
You jumped on top of it with a blade in your head. You quickly shoved your blade into the side of the beast. Cries of pain echoed from it as he watched you take the knife out of its neck. It shook you off its back, and you fell onto the ground. Quickly, it ran into the jungle.
"WHY YOU HERE? SUPPOSED TO STAY HOME!" You screamed at him. Your body was sluggish as it dragged itself off the ground.
"I wanted to make sure you were doing okay! You've been acting so weird lately and-."
"Go home. Now."
Without looking back, you slowly walked into a nearby cave. Orion tip-toed behind you into the cave, trying not to upset you any further. A makeshift leaf curtain door covered the entrance. The cave was small and had a dead end. A pile of aishi flowers was littered around with a musk smell.
You immediately collapsed onto the flower when you walked in. Your body giving up as it pushed itself past the limit. Orion rushed over to you. At first, he assumed you were injured in the fight with the predator.
His eyes darted in surprise when he realized you were bare. He pulled you into his arms with your back facing him. Sweat dripped down your forehead as you buried yourself in his arms. It took Orion a few seconds to understand what was wrong with you. A small smile snaked itself way onto his lips.
"I'm so sorry, Y/n. I didn't know it was your heat and mating season! You should've said something to me. I would've helped you. "Orion said sweetly as he traced his finger down your back. You gave a soft mew and shuddered underneath his touch.
"Nooo. Give me flowers. I eat." You cried, trying to fight him. "I need it!"
Orion reached over and gently fed you a flower. Your body began to cool down, and your mews died down. The sensitivity is fading away. A look of soberness slowly leaked into your eyes.
Hm. No wonder you were collecting these so much. They were meant to suppress your heat. Still, you didn't need the flowers now that he was here to assist you. He snatched the flower from your hand. You whined as he took it away.
Orion resumed teasing your body. His finger stopped at the base of your tail. He wrapped his fingers around it, following its length until the tip. He marveled at the flexibility of your tail as it wrapped around his arm in pleasure. The fur underneath his skin was soft like the blankets in your room.
When his fingers reached the end, he circled them around it and toyed with it. Tiny trembles reverberated through your body. You began to pant more. Drool slipped over the side of your mouth, and a flushed color began to paint your skin.
"Does it feel good? Am I a good boy helping you?"
"Nooooo. Stop. No touch," You babble incoherently.
"Hm? It doesn't feel good here. I'm so sorry. Let me try somewhere else." Orion apologized teasingly while he nibbled on your ear.
His finger began to trail down lower from your tail. Gently, he pried your legs apart. He slowly slipped his finger inside you. You writhed when Orion pushed it in. Your tail curled up, and your eyes glazed over in pleasure.
Your hole was wet as it ached for him. It wrapped around his finger as he pushed in and out of it. Wet slick coating the entire finger. The sensation of your hole was exhilarating with the pressure around it as he added another finger. As his fingers curved inside you, the feeling intensified around him. He shivered in bliss as your back arched, trying to make the fingers go in deeper.
Your voice echoed through the cave. He listened as you mewed out small chirps and cries. He adjusted your head and began to suck on your tongue. Greedily, he relished the taste of your mouth. The taste of your mouth was so sweet, like honey. It brought him pure bliss, and he was almost ready to explode.
His cock ached and was sore inside his pants. He began to grind on your back, desperate for release. He lapped at your tounge and it felt like he'd drank ambrosia from the gods. Every drop dripped from his mouth straight into his very essence. He couldn't take it anymore as he rubbed himself into your back.
Suddenly, you ripped your lips off of him. A throbbed headache resounded as you pushed him on the floor. His fingers leave your tight hole.
He watched you get on top of him. You sat on top of him, and your tail pinned his hands to the ground. You tore off his pants. His cock managed to spring free. He moaned as you tried to sit down on him. Your body desperately tries to take his entire length. You shifted and shuffled in various directions, trying to make it fit.
Finally, your walls managed to take him in. You slicked up his dick with your nectar and pushed it inside yourself deeper. He groaned at how tight you were inside. It almost felt suffocating. Still, he adored the way you devoured him, and was still ravenous for more.
"Can I finish inside you? Please, please, please, let me," Orion begged as you moved your hips, "You feel too good. I'll do whatever you want. Just let me finish in you."
"No. Ri, not listen to me. Bad boy today." You said through gasps.
You leaned down and bit his neck as punishment for even asking that. Something in him broke. He knew it was too soon. You just put it inside, and he wanted to fill you up.
He tried to listen and hold back. However, the image of you full of him pushed him over the edge. Your belly filled with him to the brim. Your sweet slick mixed with his salty seed. Your delicate skin is stained with his dirty white liquid. Afterward, you'd lift yourself up and spill the extra fluid your hole couldn't contain.
A slight whine escaped your lips as Orion made his fantasy a reality. He painted your walls white and moaned as you took it all in. He couldn't help it. Listening to you call him a bad boy while riding him was too much.
"I'm sorry for not listening to you today. Let's do it again, and I'll listen to you this time. Okay?"
#yandere drabble#yandere imagines#yandere headcanons#male yandere#yandere x reader#yandere writing#yandere smut#yandere x darling#yandere scenarios#yandere boyfriend#tw yandere#yandere#yandere astronaut#yandere alien#yandere space explorer#yandere male#soft yandere#yandere x you#yandere x gn reader#male yandere oc#yandere male oc#male yandere x reader#male yandere x gn reader#yandere insert#yandere idea#yandere stories#yandere hcs#compact turtle#yandere lemon#x reader
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mindset of manifestation & how i manifest
like melanie martínez, i am back from the dead.
i apologize for being gone so long, but i needed a break from tumblr. i saw toxicity swirling in the community, my life got busy, and i decided it was just time for a break. when i was planking to come back, i just saw how things got terrible and i got upset and decided not to come back.
so, im back now and with a little tutorial on how i manifest!!! <3 i hope this can help some of you out.
let’s start with background.
manifesting is kind of like predicting the future. you have something you want to happen, then it happens soon after. i feel like this is the easiest way to get into the manifestation mindset. you cannot change what you’re getting if you want it. could you change your mind later and return it like a package? yes! but before it arrives, you know it’s arrival is coming.
sure, there can be delays, but it all is going to turn out YOUR way in the end.
nile and i have been working on our mindset and this is something they wrote that i think can be really helpful — as it was to me.
from the past two years we have been actively manifesting, we learned that we often saw things as “crazy”. but manifesting isn’t crazy, it’s quite normal.
every time you get dressed in the morning, it’s an act of manifestation. you’re showing up with what you want.
manifestation is a mondane activity!! stop treating it like it was a kiss from an angel!
by reading this, you’re manifesting your eyes working, you’ve used your hands to open an app, and you have believed you can read and get through this blog! without manifesting that, you would not be here.
the first step to manifestation is believing you can do it, believing you have done it, and believing you will continue to do it. period.
there are many MANY different ways to manifest, but i manifest in 3 ways (sometimes i use all three, sometimes i use just 1 or 2.)
!! I ALMOSR FORGOT TO PUT THIS AND IM ADDING IT BEFORE I GET TO NUMBER 2 OMG!!
STOP! BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE I WANT YOU TO GET A NOTEBOOK, A SHEET OF PAPER, OR MAKE A CHECKLIST ON YOUR PHONE IN YOUR NOTES APP!!!
now i want you to write down everything you want right now down and leave the boxes blank if you haven’t gotten them yet.
once you get through that, i want you to randomly click between some of the items you want and write down things you wanted that you did get! they can be some simple and things from years ago, what matters is you have them down. throw in some things that you may have to do for school or work while you’re at it.
here’s an example! (left is before checking off, right is after)
as you can see, i added a note to the side because i got what i wanted and more abundantly! i had been manifesting a dog since i was a young child, and in 2021, i got 2!!!! (one is laying at my feet right now <3)
continue to do this daily, weekly, or whatever you have time for. i personally do this on notion and i try to add something new daily (im adding the heartstopper thing rn!!)
but yeah!! write everything u want down, and continue to add to it, just so u can see progress DOES happen and your work and effort DOES pay off!
affirming and persisting
this id the first way i learned to manifest, and the most self-explanatory.
you simply repeat what you want over and over until you get it! but not in the future tense, in the current or past tense.
ex; “i passed my maths final!”, “im so happy my boyfriend gave me those roses for valentine’s day, he’s so sweet!”, “i finished the essay for english like a week before it was due!” “i got the lead role in my play! im so excited!” etc.
now, the common factor between all of these is having a positive mindset about them. i cannot tell you HOW many times i manifested something would go well, and right before they happened, i got in a shitty mind space and wondered if it would ever happen.
but, nonetheless, i persisted through and i got what i wanted.
the pain have have been feeling cant compare to the joy that is coming. Romans 8:18
persisting is basically pushing through. think about the time you didn’t think you would make it through an injury, a school year, a trial, yet you still walked through it — even if it was slow.
like when work days are long and you want to go home, but you can’t, so you persist.
i try to think of my manifestations as an ultimatum. it’s going to happen, and that’s final. the only thing you have to do to get it is stay conscious.
and staying conscious, walking through those days, is how you get to the end!
i use affirming and persisting with pretty much everything, which is why it was first.
2. listening to subs.
it’s that simple — listen to an audible subliminal that has the results you want over and over!! that’s all i do u guys. here’s my playlist if u want it (IF I DELETE IT CHECK MY PINNED POST!! I UPDATE IT OFTEN)
i often use @stilljuststardust’s subs, slade’s subs, enchanted workshops’ subs and i want it, i got it’s subs!
all of them are trusted and credible. i cannot promise you that all the subs in my playlist will work for you, as they are (sometimes) linked to my personal desires.
3. pinterest manifestation!!
i recommend having either a whole pinterest account or a board set aside for this way of manifestation.
you simply make boards (or sections) for things you want. i would say this is best for physical items, people, looks, makeup, etc. things that re physically tangible, rather than something like reality shifting (although i do have a reality shifting board! it has been working pretty well <3)
i also have one for my mindset, my religion, so on and so forth (link btw)
i think this is pretty self explanatory. just save picture of things you want and quotes/affirmations and DONE!
i also use this sub with it :p it’s worked WONDERSSS!
if you have any other questions i will be happy to answer them!! i love you all!! go manifest!!
#abyss .speaks#manifesation#law of manifestation#manifest#manifestation#master manifestor#pinterest manifest#manifestations#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifting#shifting community#desired reality#reality shift#black shifters#shifting motivation#shifting realities#manifesting#loa manifesting#loa blog#loa success#loa tumblr#loa#loassblog#loa assumptions#loablr#loassumption#self concept#spiritual connection#spiritual awakening
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Part 6: The Summit Prev | Next (Soon™️) | Start
Two parts left! sorry to end on a lil cliffhanger of sorts. also sorry i'm going to continue to be very mean to jolyon. also also sorry i will not be finishing this before tfs launches lol 🥲
ID below cut like and subscribe etc
Panel 1: Wide shot of Crow and Jolyon sitting on a rock on the summit of a mountain, looking down at the dreaming city below. The sun is starting to rise over distant mountains, and the dreaming city is covered in taken essence, with black taken orbs hanging all around it. Jolyon is leaning forward with his arms crossed and his elbows resting on his knees, while Crow is leaning back on his hands. Jolyon: “Thanks for doing this with me.” Crow: “Of course. It’s been… really nice, catching up.” Jolyon: “Yeah…
Panel 2: Close up of Jolyon’s hand from the side. He is curling it into a tense fist where it’s resting on his bicep. Jolyon: “... Can I ask…”
Panel 3: Close up of Jolyon’s face in profile. He is staring straight ahead with a pained expression on his face as he speaks. Jolyon: “Why now?”
Panel 4: Side view of Crow as he turns to look at Jolyon. He has a curious expression on his face. Jolyon (offscreen): “A few years ago… I heard about what happened, with Savathun. That you had remembered your past life.”
Panel 5: Side view of Jolyon. He is turning away from the Crow, and his expression is not visible. Jolyon: “When you didn’t reach out… I guess I just assumed you hadn’t remembered me.”
Panel 6: Side view as Crow looks at Jolyon with a mournful expression. Crow: “I…”
Panel 7: Crow turns forward again, looking down at the ground with a sad expression. Crow: “I’m not sure I did, at first.” Panel 8: Flashback of the Radiant Accipiter, idling in empty space. Crow is visible through the windshield of the ship, he is hunched over in the pilot’s chair with his head in his hands while glint floats beside him. Crow (Present day): “He was so far gone at the end - whenever I tried to think about his life, it was like a bomb going off inside my brain.”
Panel 9: Close up of Crow looking down past the camera. He is clutching his face with both hands, one hand is tearing desperately at his hair while the other is covering his cheek, nose and mouth. He has a horrified, distant expression on his face, and a tear is running down his cheek. In the background, a cracked surface shows many scenes from Uldren’s rampage. One fragment shows a close up of Uldren’s eyes as he turns towards the viewer with a hateful expression. Black rivulets of corruption are flowing from his eyes like tears, and the sclera of his corrupted eyes are black and seeping into the iris. Another fragment shows several dead corsairs lying on a stone floor in pools of blood. Another fragment shows a close-up of Cayde-6’s face, staring up at the viewer defiantly. His face plates have been badly damaged. The final fragment shows a close up of Uldren’s hand holding the Ace of Spades hand cannon, with smoke coming out of the barrel. Crow (Present day): “Nothing made sense, all I could feel was… what he felt. The things he did…”
Panel 10: A wide shot of Crow lying in bed, bundled up in his blanket. The room is dark, and a window is open, with bright sunlight shining in through the curtains. Crow (Present day): “But eventually…”
Panel 11: A close up of Crow holding Glint with one hand. Glint’s eye is closed, and he is humming gently. Crow (Present day): “I was able to start picking up the pieces.” Panel 12: Closer shot of Crow lying in bed. He is clutching Glint against his chest with one hand, rubbing his shell gently. With his other hand, he is holding a golden ring on a chain. He is staring blankly at the ring with a sad, tired expression. Crow (Present day): “To put together who he had been before.” Panels 13, 14, 15, and 16: A sequence of fuzzy, incomplete memories. The first is a shot of Jolyon in his uniform, from his waist to his chin. Most of his face is not visible, but he seems to be scowling. He is partially obscured by a misty, dark blue background. The second memory is a shot of Uldren lying back in green grass on a sunny day, eating raspberries. He is looking to his right, at someone just offscreen. He is laughing lightly, and looks peaceful as he holds a raspberry up to his mouth. The third memory is a shot of Jolyon’s dark blue Supremacy rifle leaning against a wall, next to where his green cloak is hanging. The fourth memory is a partial shot of Uldren resting on his hands and knees above Jolyon, who is not visible. Uldren is shirtless, and a golden ring is hanging from a chain around his neck. Jolyon’s hand is reaching into frame, holding the ring in his palm where it hangs. Uldren is smiling down at him warmly. Crow (Present day): “You were… A puzzle that took me a long time to figure out. A face I couldn’t quite name, a feeling I couldn’t quite place.”
Panel 17, 18, and 19: Another sequence of memories, which are more clear than before. The first panel is a head-on shot of Uldren, staring up past the viewer with a confused, strained expression. The scleras of his eyes are black, and the corruption is starting to seep out of them. The second panel is a head-on view of Jolyon, staring down at Uldren with an intense, searching expression. The third panel is of Uldren, who is looking away to scratch at his right eye with the heel of his hand. His hands are cuffed together at the wrist, and he looks frustrated, and distracted. Crow (Present day): “When it finally came together, And I realized how terrible he had been to you… I was too ashamed.” Panel 20: In the present day, Crow is leaning forward, and staring distantly down at the ground, while Jolyon watches him talk. Crow: “To let himself fade away like that, to forget you, while you were standing right in front of him…”
Panel 21: Close up of Jolyon as he looks away, and stares sadly into the distance. His brow is furrowed and he looks conflicted and tired. Crow (offscreen): “I didn’t think I could face you, after that. I didn’t think you’d want me to.” Jolyon: “...”
Panel 22: front view of Crow and Jolyon sitting side by side. Crow is leaning forward heavily, looking down at the ground with a grim, slightly frustrated expression. Jolyon is turning slightly towards Crow, though he is not looking directly at him and is expression is sad and distant. Jolyon: “What changed your mind?”
Panel 23: Close up of Jolyon’s face. He looks slightly surprised and is looking directly at Crow, offscreen. Crow (offscreen): Petra.
Panel 24: Shot of Crow as he hunches away from Jolyon, rubbing his right arm self-consciously. He is glancing out of the corner of his eyes back at Jolyon with an uncertain, guilty expression. Crow: “Last week, hunting Riven’s eggs took us… Somewhere that reminded me of you.”
Panel 25: Close up of Jolyon as he watches Crow out of the corner of his eyes. His brow is slightly furrowed, and he looks uncertain.
Crow (offscreen): “After we got back, I asked Petra how you had been, and…”
Panel 26: Close up of Crow. He is smiling lightly, staring down at the ground with a distant, soft expression and blushing faintly. Crow: “She talked some sense into me. Reminded me that I shouldn’t just assume you were better off never knowing me. That I at least owed you the chance to make that decision for yourself.”
Panel 27: front view of Crow and Jolyon sitting side by side. Crow is turning back towards Jolyon with a soft smile. Jolyon is also looking at Crow, smiling faintly. Crow: “I guess… some things haven’t really changed, right?” Jolyon: “Ha.”
Panel 28: Close up of Jolyon’s face from the side. He is staring straight ahead again, smiling faintly. Jolyon: “Right…”
Panel 29: Jolyon looks slightly down, his smile has fallen and his brow has furrowed as his expression grows distant. Dark, scratchy marks are bleeding into the edge of the panel, fading out the edges. Jolyon: “...”
Panel 30: extreme close up of Jolyon’s eye, squeezed shut. Dark scratchy marks surround the panel, creating a chaotic background and bleeding into the panel. Voice offscreen: “Jolyon…”
Panel 31: A younger version of Jolyon turns towards the camera from the side, with a confused expression. His hair is pulled back into a bun, and he is wearing a light green sweatshirt. The background is faded purples and blues, and Jolyon is outlined in surreal surreal shades of pink and purple. The panel is outlined by dark scratch marks, spiky thorns, and black flowers outlined in vibrant shades of pink, purple, and green. The text bubbles appear to be glitching out, with scratchy fragments coming out of them. Voice offscreen: “Why’d you do it?” Jolyon: “What?”
Panel 32: Shot of Uldren sitting on a rock, from behind. He is leaning forward, resting his hands on his knees, and staring down at the ground. His hair is falling over his face, and his expression is not visible. The surreal lighting continues in this panel, and Uldren is outlined in pinks and purples with the panel being surrounded by dark scratch marks, spiky thorns, and black flowers outlined in bright colors. Uldren: “Why did you come with us, Jol?”
#lol lmao 'last week' bestieeeee that was 6 months ago!!#& yeah im still fixated on that one mention of an unexplained ring uldren had from like 4 years ago. what of it#destiny 2#crowlyon#jolyon till#crow destiny#uldren sov#cw blood#cw hallucinations#me: im gonna keep this simple so i can finish this comic faster. also me: i can fit five whole panels into this one panel sick
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Liz, Biotechnician
Part 5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You’re sure it was my codes, sir?”
Liz stood in front of the 3 highest ranking officers on board the Noah: the bipedal insectoid Captain Skitch, the First Officer, a woman from the Doun race named Koatil, and Security Chief Ducane. She’d been called to the captain’s office before the cycle’s shift had even started.
“We’re sure,” Captain Skitch chittered, his short mandibles moving, “but we’re also sure it wasn’t you.”
“I don’t follow,” Liz said. Sitting in the chair across from these three was making her nervous. Like there was an alarm in her head screeching out LAST CHANCE LAST CHANCE LAST CHANCE in Admiral Townes voice. It’s not like she’d been dissecting other crew members like other humans on the ship, so she wasn’t sure how or why this was happening.
“Let me be perfectly clear here Elizabeth, you’re not in any trouble, but several times in the last few weeks, someone has been using division head codes to send encrypted long distance communications.”
Commander Koatil leaned against the wall, her thermal suit clunking and rumbling. Liz had always wondered how the thing didn’t get clogged with Doun fur all the time, but now wasn’t the time to ask. Especially not with Koatil’s horns looking so sharp at the moment.
“At the times in question, you were usually at your work station or in the mess hall. Chief Ducane here assures us your… what did you call it Ducane?”
“Body language, Commander.”
“Right, that. He assures us you couldn’t be behind it. You’re too ‘relaxed’ to be conspiring against the rest of the crew.”
They’ve been watching me? Conspiring against the crew? Liz thought, trying to swallow but her mouth had just dried up like the desert world Apam 2. Hopefully they hadn’t seen what had happened to Coco, or if they did, it wouldn’t get them fired. Liz had to get them to stop eating so much chocolate. Problems for later. The idea of a traitor among the crew was almost an afterthought to her. Almost.
“So do you know who it is?” She asked.
“That’s classified,” Ducane said.
So you don’t know, she figured.
“It’s been…,” the chief continued, “let’s say, brought to the ship command’s attention that some rather odd occurrences have gotten overlooked, so I’ve given Chief Ducane the all clear to begin an official investigation. Can you think of anyone who’d have access to your work station or your personal space?”
Liz shook her head silently. The black ball cap she’d always seen him wearing was backwards, and he donned his ‘tool belt’, sporting an Earthly ballistic pistol and a stun baton. Danny looked at her a second longer before leaning against the desk, looking pensive.
“Naturally, if you speak of this to anyone, you’ll not only be expelled from the ship, you’ll probably end up court-martialed back on Earth,” Skitch said, dead pan. “The only reason you’re being informed is because you were involved, however slightly it was.”
Liz looked around at the three of them. Even if she wasn’t in trouble yet, she thought about the conversation she’d had just yesterday with Thomas and Jane. If anyone had overheard them, even just a little, and they told Bridge Command, that was it. She’d be finished.
God damn it Thomas.
She could already hear her Uncle Edd, AKA Admiral Townes, AKA the man in charge of her current job, as well as the whole ship, telling her how irresponsible it was to leave her access codes on a sticky note by her computer. There wasn’t a universe out there where he didn’t already know about this. Every cell in her body wanted nothing else but to avoid that stern and disappointed lecture she’d heard a thousand times before, the reminders that while she might be the brightest mind in the family she was also the most thoughtless. Another screw up and he couldn’t bail her out again. Another screw up and she could kiss her position goodbye: no more science division head, no more personal lab, no more Noah-
-no more Coco-
The thought burst into her brain like a super nova. She’d finally made a friend, a real friend, someone she connected with in the lab and out, and the thought of losing that scared her more than she thought it would, way more than she’d be willing to admit. No, she had to fix this, now. The conversation she had with Thomas the previous cycle came back like an after flare, and so she did the only thing she could think of.
“Beep…?” she said, looking to Danny, trying desperately to signal to the security chief that yeah, I’ve already talked to Thomas, I know about your office, I know about a lot of stuff! You gotta help me out here, human to human!
The chief stared at her a moment, a puzzled look stuck on his face. Liz gripped the arms of her chair so hard her knuckles turned white. Exasperated she tried again.
“Beep!”
“Are you alright ensign?” The captain asked, looking from her to the only other human in the room, probably looking for a hint about this new strange Earthling behavior. Liz just kept looking at the security chief, and watched as realization bloomed behind his eyes.
Ducane strode over to her, and Liz noticed for the first time he had a scar under his chin, a thin line going up his jaw. In the back of her mind she wondered how he’d gotten it.
“Now, ensign,” Ducane half rumbled as he towered over her, “I’m going to escort you back to your work station, where you’ll not discuss this with anyone else, understood?”
“Understood… sir,” she added hastily.
As the two terrans excused themselves, Liz’ translator just barely picked it up.
“Those humans are weird,” from Commander Koatil.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Talk. Now.”
They’d made it down the hallway in silence, Ducane in the lead. The moment the lift doors closed he’d begun the interrogation.
Liz realized then just how much the man’s frame eclipsed hers, he was like four of her put together and force fed an all protein powder diet. She was like a pencil in comparison to a tree trunk. So in response, she straightened her back to her full height and tried to stand her ground.
“Look dude, this isn’t my fault, you told Thomas all that stuff, and he blabbed yesterday to us-”
“Us? Who’s us?!” Danny cut her off, a pained look on his face. “What is the matter with you kids? Are you all trying to give me an ulcer here?”
“Who the hell are you calling kids, I’m twenty eight!”
“And I’m almost forty,” he sighed, “and at this rate you actual children will kill me before I hit the big four zero.” Danny pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay. Elizabeth. Liz. Please. Just tell me what he told you and…?”
“Jane, from medical.”
“God damnit Thomas.”
“Tell me about it, right? I’m gonna get canned just ‘cause I know stuff. That’s my whole job dude, to know stuff.”
“Please-”
“Yeah, yeah,” she cut him off, before explaining the conversation the three of them had had the day before in the mess hall.
“Fuuuuck me,” was all he said in turn.
“Why’d you even tell Bridge Command you’re looking for a saboteur on the ship?” Liz asked.
“Why? Because it’s my job, that’s why. This isn’t some like mystery holo show back on Earth, these are real stakes here Liz, real people who could get hurt or worse if this goes bad. So yeah, of fucking course I told the captain! It’s just you kids running around behind my back that are screwing shit up for me right now. If this gets out, the whole experiment is going to be canceled, we’ll all be fired, probably imprisoned, and the whole human god damn race is gonna have cosmic egg on its face right from the jump for a whole galactic audience to see.”
Liz just stared at him, watching the escalation.
“Oh,” is all she said.
The lift doors opened.
“Look,” Ducane took a deep, hopefully calming breath, “if you three just keep your mouths shut and let me do my job, everything is gonna be fine. GAIL Command won’t think anyone is colluding, they won’t even find out until we have something to say, and the ship can keep going on its merry way. Alright?”
“Alright,” Liz said.
And she really did want to mean it too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Human Friend Liz!” Coco’s voice synthesizer exclaimed, unusually excited for a creature with no adrenal gland. “You remember the moon where you lost your arm, yes?”
“Yeah, that was the kind of thing you remember hon,” Liz said, flexing her cybernetic fingers. She hung her coat across the back of her chair. “What about it?”
“Well I was thinking, why didn’t your plasma pistol ignite the air around us? The atmospheric makeup was 95% methane if you recall.”
“Weren’t you releasing oxygen from your branches? That’s why I didn’t suffocate after my mask broke.”
“Yes, correct, but not at a rate that could stave off an ignition. I’ve been rechecking the data, and it appears there was a steady stream of oxygen pouring out from the cave mouth. Perhaps there is some sort of generator, most likely botanical in nature, under the surface to offset the methane in some places.”
“Oh,” Liz said, “well then I’m really glad all we lost down there was my arm. Getting blown up isn’t great, I’m told.”
Coco was standing in their pot, using their branches to tick and tap buttons on their tablet. In their wall cubby enclosure, the Armeaters were ‘sunbathing’ under a heat lamp. A pile of chicken bones in the corner told Liz they’d eaten their lunch without issue. She reached her cybernetic arm over the lip of the tank and scratched one under its snout.
“Remind me, when is the zoological team coming to pick up these guys?”
“Based on their rate of growth,” Coco began, “we’ll have some time before they arrive. Around midpoint of the mission, at the earliest I was told.”
Coco turned their wall computer to face the human.
“Look at this data. I believe these creatures have a rather slow growth period during their first few stages of life, then have rather explosive growth spurts into adult hood.”
“That’s so weird,” Liz said, puzzled. “I mean I guess I’m biased, but most Earth creatures come out ready to go, especially outta eggs. Like sure they’re small, but they don’t stay that way for long.”
“Maybe they’re similar to the Soolian species in the Miriam Basin on Trigor. That species generates a growth hormone from the vegetation they eat,” she continued. “We might just have to take them back to the moon.”
“There is still much we do not know about their habitat. Another expedition to MX13 would be very informative.”
“Yup. Sure would.” Liz flexed her fingers, first the flesh and bone set, then the metal. “Maybe send the drones first though.”
“Oh. Yes. Of course.” Coco turned their tablet back into the wall and continued their work. “Sorry, I had forgotten. When one of my species loses a branch, it will eventually grow back.”
“Lucky you,” Liz said dryly, scritching one of the little aliens between the eyes. It wriggled contently and rolled over. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad it was just my arm, and now I’m really glad we didn’t both get blown to hell, but I’m pretty fucking pissed I lost my arm. The new one is cool and all, but it does kinda suck in comparison to the real thing.”
“I am… incapable of understanding the feeling,” Coco said slowly, “but I am sorry that my friend human is upset. If you need anything of me, I will do my best to oblige you.”
“Thanks hon, I really appreciate that.”
Liz sat quietly for a few minutes, listening to the tip tap tap of Coco’s computer typing vines. She wasn’t even really working, more just sitting and breathing and existing, contemplating. Thinking about her arm somewhere, wondering if she could somehow make it shoot the bird to the universe for stealing it.
Wondering if she could or even should tell her best friend on the ship about the possibility of a saboteur. She reasoned that, no, no she shouldn’t. It’d be like… knowingly passing on a contagious virus. Something she didn’t want her friend to catch. Problems they didn’t have to endure if she could just keep her mouth shut.
She found herself thinking about her previous posting onboard the Herald, and the supervising officer who’d contracted the zeno-sporic infection. Hank was his name, if she remembered correctly.
Giant douche canoe filled with fungus, she thought.
He’d completely disregarded the safety briefing she’d made for the landing on Zenos 3, a highly dangerous planetoid in the sector they’d been assigned. Totally ignored the proper instructions and personal protective devices, and came into contact with an incredibly aggressive species of fungus that rooted in his lungs when he’d inhaled them.
Then the dipshit brought them back on the ship without going into quarantine! Who does that?!
Morons. That’s who.
She’d thought he’d looked a little off on the shuttle back, and hours later in the mess hall she’d seen him hacking up spore laced sludge into the waste bins. Luz hadn’t hesitated after that, she’d stunned him with her sidearm and licked him in the sterilization pod. After several hours of gassing him and the spores, he was clean enough to come out, and after another few hours-
-had to be sure you know?-
-she let him out, all safe and clean, totally spore free.
During that time, watching him thrash around in the pod while the spores made their way through his system and into his brain, trying to evade the gas, she’d learned something, something that’d stuck with her since.
Liz had learned that you can’t wait for people to do the right thing. You do it yourself.
She hadn’t waited for Officer Moron to get himself cleaned.
She hadn’t waited for that asshole Grite to save Coco on MX13.
She wasn’t going to wait for Ducane and Bridge Command to find the saboteur and save the mission.
She looked over at her workstation and saw the sticky note stuck there with her codes on it. Liz reached her cybernetic arm over and plucked it from the screen, crumpled it up, and dropped it in the Armeater tank. The largest of the three perked up and pounced on it, like it was a new toy, and shredded it with their newborn needle teeth.
“Time to get to work,” she said quietly.
In their pot in the corner, Coco gave an involuntary shiver of apprehension. Friend Human Liz was exhibiting predator again. They were just thankful for the pack bonding relationship they shared, because otherwise, the Sprygan would be terrified.
#deathworlders of e24#humans are deathworlders#humans are space oddities#humans are weird#humans are space orcs#humans are strange#humans are space australians#earth is space australia#humans are insane#humans are terrifying#short story#writblr#original story#original character
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❣️Red Wine Supernova❣️
pairing: dealer!ellie williams x introverted(f)reader c.w: weed smoking, insinuated self-pleasure Summary: modern college au, dealer!ellie x introverted!(f)reader, slow burn with some sad elements. Inspired by Red Wine Supernova by Chapel Roan Parts: 1. I Just Want To Get To Know You 2. Mini Skirt and My Go-Go Boots 3. I Don't Care That You're A Stoner + Epilogue: Falling Into Me a/n: new writer so be nice >:3 sry if the format is a lil fucked
Part One:
I Just Want To Get To Know You
Mornings are your happy place. Your room is your sanctuary, and you greet the day in your usual fashion. Floating around your space listening to music, doing your skincare and makeup, and finding the perfect outfit. This morning, however, was anything short of paradise. Today was the last day of finals week and all the studying and stress got the best of you last night as you completely burnt out of all your routines. You push the empty chip bags and energy drinks aside on your nightstand to make some room for your phone, which is dead. How could you forget to plug it in?
Opting to check the time on your computer you realize you overslept. There's only twenty minutes to don an outfit before you head to your first exam of the day. You curse yourself first then promise to have a full self care evening after finals are finished. Tossing on some leggings and an oversized hoodie equipped with the Jackson College logo. You do a quick wash of our face, minimal skin care, grab your phone, bag and shoes and you are out the door.
Thankfully, living a block from campus has its pros. You fast walk the block to campus and b-line for the cafe. Popping in and getting into the short line hoping to see someone who knows your order working. You let out a sigh of relief when you see Sasha working the cash register.
The barista greeted you, “Morning Y/N! Happy end of finals week!”
“Morning Sasha, I can’t wait for this week to be over. I'm in a rush this morning so I'll just do my coffee, no pastry please.”
“Sure thing babe” she starts writing in your order, “it'll be out in just a minute.”
You pay and wish each other luck finishing exams. Retiring to a stool on the side of the pickup area, you put your headphones in to try and reclaim some peace in your morning. After a full song plays you glance at the time and realize you have been here for a few minutes too long. Behind the barista station, you see a brown-haired girl facing the back counter. She's moving around like she doesn't know what she's doing and Sasha is watching from the side making small comments. You assume it's a new hire so you wait the extra minute for her to finish with your drink -praying that she doesn't fuck it up and ruin another part of your morning. You zone out to your music again and before you know it you hear your order being called out: “Medium mocha with half chocolate for.. y/n?”
You look up and almost choke on your breath as your eyes meet pools of emerald green. Light whips of auburn fly around a flushed face, dotted with freckles. You stumble off the stool and brush fingers with the girl as you grab your coffee, not wanting to take your eyes off her.
“Sorry it took a minute Y/N, Ellie here is training today” Sasha pipes in from behind. The girl smiles sheepishly as your eyes snap away and focus on the coffee in hand. When did you grab this?
“Oh, yeah, no problem, thank you!.” you say, trying to recollect yourself. “I’ll see you later Sasha!”
Heading out the door, the cool air whips the interaction out of your mind, as your only focus now is making it through the rest of the finals day.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
5pm finally rolls around and you let out a sigh as the fresh air hits you while leaving the lecture building. You pull out your phone to check for messages and play some music on your walk back.
You have (7) unread messages:
*H03 Hoes* Olivia: Anyone up for dinner and a movie? I need to dissociate after this week o.o Ivy: yes I'm there but only if we can get Red Mill Phoebe: I'll be at Daniels tonight :) Olivia: we know pheebs lol have fun love birds Sage: if we are getting Red Mill im gettin high Ivy: Y/N!!!? Where are youuu?? Phoebe: :D
Staring at the screen you smile in relief, just what you need after a long day; your roommates out of the house, time for yourself. Your last two exams were harder than you expected and all you want to do is order takeout, put on a show, and take a bath. You gather your thoughts and text a response;
*H03 Hoes* Y/N: staying in girls, i need some TLCOlivia: i don't blame you, this week was fucked Ivy: Want us to bring you back a burger? Y/N: that's okay, i'm ordering Thai :) Sage: oh my god you really do need this night, i'm leaving you a joint Y/N: lol thanks sage Olivia: we'll be back by midnight! Have fun ;)
Your roommates were always understanding, you really couldn't have wished for a better housing placement. House 03 was one of ten houses that were off-campus communal housing. You moved into the house a month into your first semester at school. The rest of the girls had time to bond but welcomed you in like another sister. Your introverted tendencies sometimes made you feel like a shut-in as your roommates always had something to do or somewhere to be. Sage was probably the most understanding, she enjoyed staying in also & always shared her stash with you when she did. On the rare occasion you accepted, you and she got stoned and watched shitty TV and ate takeout.
Finishing your response to the girls, you put on a playlist that you've been loving recently and put your phone away, looking up just in time to come face to face with another person. Bumping into each other you both stumble back in equal confusion.
“Ah fuck, shit, sorry!” says a honey sweet voice.
Y/N: “Oh fuck no im sorry! I was not paying attention” you take out your earbuds and catch your balance as you look up at who you collided with. Green eyes instantly meet yours. Swirls of auburn hair and freckles dance across her face as she smiles and laughs.
“Oh hey, didn't I make your coffee this morning?”
“My what?” you say in confusion.
“Your coffee! At the cafe, I was training this morning. You got like a mocha or something?” the girl rubs her temple trying to remember.
“oh! Oh yeah! That was you” you chuckle, stealing yourself away from her gaze. Holy shit, you completely forgot about this morning, how could you forget about such a pretty girl?
“That's me!" She says. "I'm Ellie, by the way.” She holds out a hand with a sideways smile.
“Im Y/N” shaking her hand, blushing a little.
Ellie: “So where are you in such a rush to, Y/N?”
You laugh, “nowhere really, home. I'm so over this week.”
“Same oh my god, I'm almost done with work I just have a drop off to do. Then I'm free!”
Her goofy enthusiasm was infectious, you felt oddly comfortable with this girl.
“Oh, cool? I'm going that way” you point across and down the street towards the College neighborhood.
“Me too! Walk together?” Ellie suggests
You nod and set off together. It was a short walk and for the first few steps, you were quiet. Everything happened so fast, the collision, the conversation, and now you're walking together?! That's no big deal, you're just walking together! You steal a glance at the girl beside you. Holy shit how long has she been staring at you? “I'm not even going to ask how your finals went if they were anything like mine!” Ellie laughs, scratching the back of her head
You chuckle trying not to trip over your own feet, “yeah they were pretty difficult, i'm just glad they are over for now”
There's not enough conversation to distract you from the growing ball of nerves in your stomach. You keep stealing small glances at the beautiful girl strolling alongside you with such ease and confidence. Before you know it you get to your house walkway, you turn to Ellie
“This is me, uh it was nice meeting you! And thanks for making my coffee” You are suddenly aware of how awkward you feel, trying not to make eye contact.
“Oh yeah no problem,” Ellie leans slightly to look behind you at the house, “you live here? Do you know Sage? I'm here to meet her.” Ellie says, pointing towards your house She's asking about your roommate? Something clicks when you realize you've seen this girl before, no you’ve heard her voice before. Whenever Sage stayed in she would call her dealer, who never came inside but Sage and her would talk on the porch for a bit during the deal.
“Are you Sage’s dealer?” you ask.
“Have you been smoking my shit?” Ellie laughs
“No I mean, sometimes I partake, but yeah Sage is my roommate, um come on up?”
“Wicked” Ellie follows you up the path and steps and waits at the door as you call into the house.
“I'm home! Sage! You have a visitor!”
“HI HOME! I'm Sage!” you hear from upstairs as the blonde girl comes bounding down the stairs. “Oh what's up Ellie, sorry you had to deal with her y/n”
Ellie scoffs behind you, “yeah whatever, you can find a new dealer”
Sage laughs, “And buy from a dude? No way, I support woman-owned businesses. How much do I owe you?”
You bow out subtly during their conversation. Before the two girls make their exchange you are halfway up the stairs. Letting their conversation get muffled as you enter your bedroom. You don’t know why you seclude yourself so much. Social interactions can be so anxiety inducing for you and you were well past spent on interacting this week.
Tossing your shoes and bag in the corner you collapse on the floor wrapping a blanket around you. Finally safe in your own space. It wasn't long before you heard footsteps coming up the stairs and Sage was knocking on your door.
“Hey babes, you doing okay?”
You get up, blanket still wrapped around you and shuffle to the door, opening it slightly before leaning on the door frame, looking like a sad puppy.
“Oh y/n it was a long week huh? Well I'll be out of your hair soon. I just wanted to give you this.” she holds out a joint, which you now know came from Ellie.
“Thanks Sage, I might actually spark this tonight.” You smoked with Sage occasionally but never alone.
“It’ll help, light it in the bath! That's my favorite thing to do” Sage beams and hands over the joint, it was beautifully rolled, you almost didn't want to ruin it. She gives you a small squeeze on the arm and blows you a kiss before wishing you a good night and skipping towards her room to get ready for the evening.
You shut the door and drop the blanket down, giving into a big stretch before locking into self care mode. This is where you really excel, you know the ins and outs of what creates an environment that lets you rest and recoup to the best of your abilities. And currently your room was in disarray from the late nights spent studying and dissociation. You put your headphones in and go to work. It takes half an album to clean up the mess from the previous week. You are feeling much better and continue on your self love ritual. Peaking your head out into the hallway you listen for any sound of your roommates.
Silence, perfect, Olivia and Ivy must have come and left with Sage while you were cleaning. You pop your headphone back in and continue your groove downstairs to get something to drink and order your take out. While on the call your phone buzzes from a text, thinking nothing of it, it must be one of your roommates. You complete your order and finish up in the kitchen returning to your room for a much needed bath. All focus on yourself.
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It's nearly an hour later, you've drawn your bath and your take out has arrived. A shitty show you’re half paying attention to plays off your laptop, propped up on the laundry basket. You finish your last spring roll feeling a little bored and you grab your phone, figure you’d scroll some socials for a bit. Flicking on your screen you see you have a text from an unknown number.
Unknown: “Do you always stay in on a friday night? ;)”
Your hear skips a beat. Your heart rate rises, confused and anxious who got your number? How do they know your home alone? Also this was an hour ago! You text back; Y/N: um, who is this?
You wait only a minute before you get a text back,
“Ellie :)”
Relief sets in, not a creepy guy or stalker, thank god. Your phone buzzes again.
Ellie: “Gosh made you coffee and walked you home, am I that forgettable?”
You text back quickly, “no sorry, hey! I just didn’t know your number. How did you get mine?”
Ellie: “Sage gave it to me, I hope that's okay?”
“Yeah, yeah that's cool!” you text back.
A little confused why Sage would give out your number without asking but your thoughts are interrupted by another text from Ellie:
“You didn't answer my question silly ;)”
You reread Ellie's first text. You do usually stay in, even on friday nights.
“Pretty much lol” you respond with another text, “I don’t really like parties”
“I feel that, good for business, bad for vibes lol” ellie responds
You stare at the screen, taken aback by how all of a sudden you are talking to this girl you hardly know for the second time today. Suddenly the bath is way too hot and wet, your laptop playing a little too loud. You close your phone, pause your show, and start to drain the tub. Rinsing off and finishing up your shower routine, you are standing at the vanity when your phone lights up catching your eye. It’s Ellie again,
“So would you like some company? I'm nearby actually” A glance at the time tells you it's 9pm, late for you, your only other plans for the night was to curl up in bed and continue your show until you fall asleep. You take a second to think about things as you put some clothes on, a soft pair of pajama bottoms, a tank top and a slouchy oversized sweater. Something in you was intrigued with this girl. It was strange for you to feel like you wanted to hang out with someone let alone someone you just met late at night.
You pace for a minute thinking, am I really going to do this? Typing out the text and holding your breath before hitting send then chucking your phone on the bed and running to the mirror.
“Okay, why don't you come over?”
You inspect your appearance. Natural beauty, your skin care routine was spot on and truthfully you loved your look the most at night after you cared for yourself. You felt a rush of adrenaline and took a few breaths to calm yourself before sliding on a pair of slippers and grabbing your phone to go downstairs. Before leaving, the joint on your night stand catches your eye and it only seemed right to bring it along, Ellie did roll it.
On the way down the stairs, there's a knock at your door, that was fast. You peek out the window to be safe, Ellie standing with her back to the window facing away from the door. Hand scratching the back of her head, it looks like she's changed since you saw her last. You open the door and catch a whiff of pine and amber as she turns to face you, the same sideways smirk on her face from before. She's wearing all black, dirty Converse, ripped jeans, and a black jacket over a green hoodie.
“Hey, whoa cute fit” Ellie laughs as she looks you up and down, “cozy?”
You move a little at her comment, noticing how underdressed you are. “You caught me at the end of my shower”
She chuckles again, “well I wasn't trying to take you out, was wondering if you wanted to smoke this with me?” Ellie pulls a joint from behind her ear, and holds it up between her pointer and middle finger.
Your nerves are going crazy but something in the way she looks at you makes you feel at ease in her presence.
“Yeah sure, I have one of yours already actually” you say as you hold up the joint, it's a little crushed as you realize your hands were clenching.
Ellie laughs, “you keep that one, we can smoke this one” she gives you that smile again. “Are we gonna stand on the porch all night?”
You snap into reality a bit and stumble over your words and yourself, letting her into the house. “no! Sorry, ya we can smoke in the back, we have some chairs out there.”
“Sweet, I'll follow you cutie”
You turn away from the comment before Ellie could see your cheeks go up in flames.
You lead her through the house to the back door and out into the small yard. There's a fire pit in the corner with a few lawn chairs around it. There's a light breeze in the air but it's rather temperate for a spring evening. You sit down in a chair and Ellie flops down next to you. Pulling out a lighter and joint. You watch as she puts the joint between her lips, lightly holding it with one hand and lighting with the other. Your eyes are locked on her while she inhales and the cherry goes red illuminating her soft features. Only when she exhales a cloud of smoke and looks at you do you look away quickly. Darting your gaze away to the joint held out in front of you.
“Here ya go y/n” Ellie's voice is low and gravely, cutting through the silence of the night.
You swallow and take the joint, breathing out preparing yourself for the hit. You can feel Ellie's eyes on you as you inhale, hold for a second too long, and exhale out in coughs, covering your face and shoving the joint in Ellies direction. “Shit, hahah, I don't smoke that often.” you get out
“Oh! That's okay, you don’t have to if you don’t want it!” Ellie takes another drag, hesitating to pass it back your way.
“No, no it's okay, the first hit is always the roughest,” you say through your coughing fit. “I usually smoke with Sage.”
Taking another drag and speaking as smoke billows out past her lips, “Okaaay you can tap out at any time light weight” She chuckles at the end of her sentence but reaches the joint back out to you. You take it, needing another hit to settle the growing nerves in your stomach, she will not stop looking at you.
You and Ellie pass the joint back and forth a few rounds in easy silence. Only a few loud conversations and music from down the block fill the air. Ellie breaks the silence after a moment.
“So I know you said you don’t like parties but there's this one tomorrow night at my friend Jessie’s house, he lives in 09. My roommate Dina and I are going, you might like it?”
Jessie… You've heard that name before, he was one of Daniel’s, Phoebe's boyfriend's roommates. A group of boys that live in House 09, down the street from you. You've actually been to their house for a party once before. It was fun for an hour until you Irish good-byed to go home and lay in bed. Texting your roommates of course, because girls always need to stay safe. Considering your roommates would be inviting you to this party as well you decide to accept Ellies invitation too.
“Oh yeah, my roommate Phoebe is dating Daniel who lives in 09, i'll probably be there for a little bit.”
Ellies face lights up, and she moves in a way that looks like she's trying to hide her excitement. “You will! Cool, I'll see you there then! Ah this thing is out.” She stubs out the cherry in the joint and tosses it into the fire pit. “Well I should let you get back to your evening princess, I have a few more drop offs to do tonight anyway.” She stands from her seat with a stretch and holds her hand out for you to grab as you stand. Her jacket got pushed up a bit and you notice a dark image on her forearm, a tattoo? It's hard to tell in the dark. You grab her hand, making a mental note of how strong and soft they are before standing fully and stepping back.
“I'll walk you out then, uh thanks for smoking me out” Your mind is hazy and calm, you barely realize that your nerves are settled, you're comfortable. Ellie follows you back into the house and to the front door, you both pause at the open door, Ellie's eyes on yours, yours on your hands.
“So I'll see you tomorrow night?” Ellie breaks the silence, making you look up,suddenly the nerves are back.
“Yeah, i'll see you around Ellie” you do your best to not shiver, and give her a smile.
The green eyed girl averts her gaze as she sheepishly scratches the back of her head. “Alrighty, have a good rest of your night!” She turns to leave but turns back,
“oh yeah, it's a decade's party, so you gotta dress up”
She gives you stupid snap and finger guns and turns away, popping down the steps and into the night. You let the cool air wash over you as you watch her walk down the street. Noticing the flick of a lighter in the night as she goes out of sight. You close the door and nearly collapse against it as your stomach begins to flutter again. Holy shit holy shit holy shit.
You take your phone out as you run up to your room, texting your house group chat immediately.
*H03 Hoes* Y/N: “Sage, why'd you give my number to a stranger?? Also… is there a party tomorrow night at H09?”
It was a little while before you got a response from your roommates, their movie must have ended, it was now 11:30pm. You shoot up from your bed responding to your roommates;
*H03 Hoes* Sage: “Ellies, not a stranger! And she asked for it ;)” Olivia: “The Decades party yeah! We were going to ask you tomorrow if you wanted to go!” Y/N: “Well yeah not anymore, she kinda came by the house and smoked me out.” Ivy: “Yo what?!!! y/n hung out with a girl??” Y/N: Hey, I'm allowed to do stuff! Lol Sage: lolol we’ll be home in a little bit! We can get ready for the party tmrw together :D”
You lock your phone and look around the room, you realize you had been pacing for that whole conversation. Adrenaline going crazy, your mind flashing images of auburn hair and green eyes. You probably had 30 minutes left of alone time in the house so you decide to end your night right, how you usually do. Stealing yourself under your blankets, touching and pleasuring yourself until your breath relaxes you into sleep. However tonight, green eyes stare back at you in your mind.
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mayor's banquet pt. 3 // sam winchester
pairing: sam winchester x female!reader
summary: you and sam do not get along. after a hunt where you're put in danger, you're forced to come to terms with the fact that you two are more compatible than you think.
content: enemies to sort of lovers, canon typical violence, arguing, maybe out of character sam and dean, no use of y/n, slight angst (not sure if it qualifies, but i'm going to say it does), soft!sam, oral sex (female receiving), reader is sleepy but is not asleep when smut happens
word count: 3.1k
note: here's the third part! hope you enjoy, and if you have an idea for another fic, let me know! read part 1 and part 2 before reading this if you haven't already.
masterlist
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“I love you, Sam.”
Your words rang in Sam’s ears after the phone line clicked off. It was all wrong. First, you would have rather died than admit to him you were wrong. It was like something in your blood couldn’t handle not being the smartest person in the room. Second, there was no chance you would ever tell Sam you loved him. This was something he knew deep down, and no amount of what ifs would change that. You hated him, or at the very least couldn’t be civil with him.
“What the hell did she just say?” Dean asked with alarm after overhearing the conversation. Sam looked over to him with those big, brown eyes.
“That…” Sam stopped, not able to say the next words before clearing his throat. “She loved me,” he finished.
“Not that, idiot.” Dean grumbled. He began to pace the floor, trying to think. It was obvious you were in some sort of trouble. He scratched his head and sighed before gathering a gun and knife.
“Let’s go, she’s got to be here somewhere.” Dean waited for Sam to follow him. Every room was quickly surveyed over. They had walked in on a couple in one, obviously in the middle of something. There were only a few more rooms to look in and the boys were growing more anxious with each empty space.
----
When you heard the clatter of the door, you immediately assumed you were already dead. But no, that wasn’t right. You were alive, but very, very close to dying. The knife dug into your neck but wasn’t deep enough to kill. Yet.
“Ah, Winchesters, how nice of you to join us!” George exclaimed. Your eyes shot open. There they were. Sam and Dean.
“Let her go, asshole.” Dean growled. George’s laugh grated in your ears. He shoved the blade slightly deeper, earning a whimper from you. You watched as a fire lit behind Sam’s eyes.
“Now with the name calling!” George grabbed your hair, holding it tight to the point of pain. Sam started towards you.
“One more step and I cut her throat out.” George’s smile dropped from his face, replaced by an evil sneer. Sam stopped in his tracks. Dean flexed his jaw at the words.
“I gotta tell you, this one,” George nodded down at you, “knows how to use those lips.” That caught you off guard. You were planning to keep that part to yourself if you lived. It wasn't key information, and if anything it embarrassed you quite a bit. You watched Sam's eyes go to yours and you wanted to shrink under his stare. You were about to be killed and he had the nerve to judge you. You sent him your own glare, swallowing down a yelp when George tugged at your hair again.
“Have you boys had a taste of her?” He asked, tilting his head in curiosity.
“Oh, probably not. She doesn't seem like the type you usually go for.” George continued on, not waiting for an answer. You turned your eyes to Dean, who was flicking his eyes between you and George. You were trying to communicate to him but it proved difficult when you couldn't use words.
“I almost want to keep her for myself.” George purred. You preyed to God Dean understood what to do. There was only one chance. You didn't have much hope for it. The man couldn't read lips, much less eyes.
“No, it's more poetic this way.” The words rang out in finality as he pulled your head back further. You knew it was now or never. As quick as you possibly could, you turned your head and bit down on his arm. Blood filled your mouth as George screamed in pain. His hand loosened on your hair and you scrambled away. Dean dove for the man in pain. The two wrestled, trying to gain the upper hand. You pulled at your bindings with your teeth after spitting the immortal man's blood to the floor.
Sam lifted you to your feet, trying in some way to keep you from hurting yourself further. You heard a yell before silence fell over the room. It was George. He lay dead on the floor, his own knife protruding from his chest. Dean panted next to his body.
You breathed angrily. You were sick of this hunt, and there were still two more family members to kill. You stalked over to your former date and ripped the knife out of him. It was quite the sight. You, in a formal gown, your blood beading from the cut on your throat, a man's blood covering your chin, and that same man's knife in your hand. You never looked physically worse, but Sam swore you looked heavenly. A fire was lit in your eyes as you slipped your heels off. You stormed out the door in search of the rest of the immortal family.
“So much for a ‘thank you’.” Dean grumbled as Sam helped him to his feet. They followed after you.
----
George’s parents hadn't put up as strong of a fight as he had. They had gotten too comfortable with their son handling the fighting. It had been twenty minutes ago, and you three had just arrived back at the motel. It was a silent ride. No one wanted to say the first word.
You climbed out from the backseat of the Impala, still barefoot. You had left your heels back at the banquet hall, hoping you would never need them again. As you tried to wiggle the key into the lock, you heard the slam of a car door followed by storming steps.
“What the hell was that?” Sam asked. His tone was laced with anger and… something you couldn’t put your finger on. You turned your head to face him. When you saw the way he was looking at you, as if you had killed God himself, you scoffed. Dean, sensing another argument, turned on his heel and got back into the car.
“I’m getting a drink.” He announced before speeding away.
“Don’t talk to me like that.” You grumbled out to Sam and opened the door. You dropped the key to the table before walking to the bathroom. You tried to shut the door, but a foot stopped it from closing all the way. You swallowed when you met Sam’s eyes, but continued with what you were doing regardless. Fine. If Sam wouldn’t leave you alone, he would just have to watch.
“Did you kiss that monster? Huh? Were you too caught up in trying to find your next lay that you were willing to sleep with him?” Sam’s words hurt you, but they also made you furious. You tugged on the zipper of the dress, trying to pull it down. You needed out of these clothes, needed to wash the blood off your body.
“I’m getting sick of this slut shaming thing, Sam.” Your words were sharp and filled with malice. It was always like this with him. You never did or said the right thing. You had tried, in the first month, to make friendly with him. Truth be told, you were attracted to him, even after the constant arguing. Maybe it was masochistic, but, most times at least, you were happy to argue with him. Even when you were numb to everything else, you never failed to feel aggravated by the taller man.
“Answer my question.” Sam demanded, getting far too close to you. You continued to pull on the zipper. It wouldn’t budge. Maybe it was caught on something.
“He kissed me. Not the other way around. And I… figured it was a good distraction for him, so I didn’t stop.” You didn’t know why you felt the need to defend yourself to him. You swore when the small zipper pull broke away, leading you to trying ripping the fabric apart.
“Bullshit.” Sam seethed. Why wasn’t he helping you? Between his words and the frustration from the zipper, you were feeling panicked. The dress was too constricting, you couldn’t breathe. You felt dirty beyond belief, not only from the blood, but from the way Sam was speaking about you.
“I- just,” your words stammered out of your mouth without you thinking, “get this thing off of me!” You practically screamed the words. Before you could get your last word out, Sam had grabbed at the dress, ripping down the side. You kicked it away from your feet, breathing heavily. The only things keeping you from standing naked in front of Sam were your bra and underwear.
“Yeah, I kissed him back. It was nice to be wanted for once. Do you know how it feels, Sam? Dean flirts with everyone, but he doesn’t mean it when it comes to me. And you! You make me feel like a stupid little girl, even though I’ve been a hunter for longer than you. Ge-,” you didn’t want to say his name, “h-he made me feel hot. Like I was still able to be attractive.” You staggered around the bathroom as you spoke, but your head was too fuzzy to think. You were exhausted beyond belief and the anger you felt made you want to fall over. You turned the shower on to let it heat up, knowing you needed to wash up.
“What are you talking about? Every town we go to there’s a guy trying to get you to bed. You turn every single one down, even though I can see you want it. It’s obvious. Why do you not give in to them?” All of Sam’s questions were obviously not awaiting answers. He didn’t want to know why you wouldn’t sleep with everyone. He preferred it if you didn’t, actually. The sight would probably break him. He flinched as you almost tripped over your own feet, almost reaching to help you.
“Just stop.” You whispered and you pulled your bra off. Sam quickly turned around, even if he did have the thought to sneak a peek. You were completely undressed as you climbed over the tub's edge. It was hard to stand there with the water beating down on your back. The wound at your neck stung with every touch of the stream. You whimpered when you almost slipped. You steadied yourself with the help of the safety bar in the shower. You could hear rustling from the other side of the curtain, but you didn’t have the brainpower to think anything of it. If you could just close your eyes for a moment, you would feel so much better.
The cool air rushed in as the shower curtain was pulled back. Your eyes shot open to see Sam, naked, standing in the bathtub with you. You tried to keep your eyes north of his… area.
“What, coming to screw me yourself?” You spit out sarcastically. You knew that wasn’t it. Sam, for the most part, knew when to read a room.
“Shut up.” Sam replied before taking your head into his hands. He moved your head so your hair was under the flow of water. It was nice, so nice, and you let your eyes close. He poured your shampoo into his hand before massaging it into your hair. Everything about the way he went through things was gentle. It was as if you and him had never argued. Your hands went to his biceps, opting to steady yourself on him instead of the wall. His skin was soft and warm under your fingertips.
After your hair was clean and rinsed, Sam moved to your face. He wiped at it delicately with his thumbs, washing away the blood on your chin. He lingered on certain parts, your cheekbones, your lips. You couldn't remember the last time someone was so careful with you. You head felt like it was in the clouds. It was like you had neglected this type of domesticity for so long that it pushed you into a state of bliss. This extended out even when Sam moved to the shallow cut in your neck. His soft touch dulled the sting as he cleaned the wound. It wasn't very long and was going to be easy to cover up, but it was in a very sensitive part of your body.
You opened your eyes to see Sam staring at you. There was something in his eyes. It was hard to read, but it looked like sadness. But it was more than that. Love was hiding behind that sadness, you could see it. You were confused, but with everything that had happened in the past few hours, you didn't have the energy to think. You moved your hands up his arms, past his shoulders, and to the back of his neck. You pulled him down to you, the sound of the shower raining down on the two of you wetting his hair. Your lips ghosted against his, not quite connected yet. You both knew that one this happened, there was no going back. Something would change, for better or for worse. Fuck it, you thought before kissing him.
You knew Sam could be rough. You had heard all the stories from Dean when he was trying to embarrass his little brother. This wasn't that. The kiss was deep, yes, but it was full of care. You hadn't had anything like this in a long while, far before you had even known Sam. Then again, you hadn't felt any of what you had felt for Sam ever. You may have pushed him past his limits everyday, but it was the only way to keep him from ignoring you. Much like Sam, you were protecting your heart, as cheesy as it sounded.
Sam broke the kiss before it became too much. You were tired, he knew that. It was for the best to get you out of the shower as quickly as possible. He moved to clean the rest of your body. It wasn't sexual the way he washed the body soap over your skin. You closed your eyes again as he rinsed you. The water was growing cold.
Sam turned the faucet off and pulled in the towel that was hanging near the shower. You two moved without words yet still spoke through actions. Him wiping your skin dry, and you placing your hands onto his shoulders tenderly. Sam wrapped you in the towel before grabbing his own.
It wasn't long after when Sam had carried you to the bed. He shuffled through your things before setting a sweatshirt and a pair of loose fitting shorts beside you. He turned his attention to his own bag. You watched his every move with careful attention. It was strange seeing him not be angry or annoyed with you, as he was most every time you interacted.
“Sam,” you whispered out, not wanting to break the calm in the room. Sam was pulling on a pair of sleep pants. He looked to you, raising his eyebrows in response. You locked your eyes onto his.
“Come here.” With your words, Sam was at your side. He opened his mouth to question you but you pulled him into you again before he could speak. This time, it was more than the sweet connection of a first kiss. The feel of his lips on yours made you want more of him. Your hands moved to his waist when he crawled on top of you. He held himself over you.
“Need… you…” You breathed into his mouth. His response was to kiss you harder. He was slowly changing from gentle to needy. When he pulled your towel apart the cold air rushed over you. Goosebumps that prickled on your skin were kissed away as Sam moved down your body. Your hands trailed up his body with his movements before eventually resting atop his head. Sam kissed your inner thighs, drawing a sharp breath from you.
“You’re perfect.” Sam said before licking a line up your core. You shivered, from the cold and from his words. He latched on to your clit and you moaned. It wasn’t loud, but this wasn’t due to his ability to pleasure you. He needed no help in that department by any means. You were half asleep as he ate you. Sam seemed to be more hungry than tired. The bottom half of his face was covered with your arousal but he continued like a man starved.
His hands gripped your thighs and you whimpered. Your fingers tangled into his damp hair, tugging slightly when his tongue ran along an extra sensitive spot. This only made Sam groan in response. God, you were going to be the death of him, tasting this sweet. Your brain tingled as he worked at you. You could feel yourself coming undone, unraveling the knot that sat in your lower abdomen. You pulled another groan from the man between your legs when you squeezed your thighs around his head. He didn’t pull them apart. If he was going to suffocate because of this, he would die a happy man. You tilted your head back as the pleasure became unbearable. You were coming. You knew it and Sam knew it. He continued lapping you up as you reached your climax.
Once he was sure you were satisfied, he stood and wiped his chin with the back of his hand. You lay with your arms over your eyes and tried to stay awake. You felt him lift your body just enough to pull the towel from under you. He used it to clean you up before dressing you. You helped him move you, but your limbs felt heavy. Sam took extra care when covering your neck wound with bandages.
With the blankets pulled over your bodies and you nestled in his side, Sam checked in with Dean as you breathed into his chest. You had a hand resting near his anti-possession tattoo when you finally spoke.
“So,” you began as a smirk ghosted across your face, “I’m perfect?” Your question made him laugh softly.
“Yeah.” He stroked your hair. You were on the brink of sleep, but his reply egged you on.
“I don’t piss you off? That was all an act?” You mumbled. Sam placed a kiss onto your head.
“Oh no, you make me mad all the time. But the rest of you makes up for it.” He felt your breaths deepening as you fell into sleep. He reached his other arm over to flip the lamp off before following your lead. Neither of you knew what this would turn into, if it would bring you closer or simply pull you farther apart. There were a lot of things you both would have to apologize for, but that would have to be resolved later. Now, you would cuddle closer and enjoy each other’s warmth for a while.
#x reader#sam winchester#sam winchester fic#dean winchester#sam winchester x reader#supernatural x reader#spn#sam winchester x reader smut#sam winchester smut
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Part 3 of the alpha Spencer Reid x male omega reader? ~ 🌸
Accidental mating 2
Fandom: criminal minds
Characters: criminal minds OG cast +reader
Pairing: Spencer Reid x reader
Warnings: male reader, omegaverse, mpreg, enemies to lovers
☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️
(name) was nervous, feet tapping against the speckled carpet of the waiting room after finishing writing his information, Spencer awkward beside him though reading a book to pass the time "what do you think the pup will be? Morgan is absolutely dead set that they will be a girl" (name) tried to make small talk and Spencer almost didn't reply, the Omega the one to nervous ramble instead of Spencer, the Alpha remembering what Morgan said about building relationships for the pup "I'm happy with either or, as long as they're healthy"
"I just want them to be happy"
"(Name), (last name)?" The nurse spoke up and (name) got up, hands shaking slightly and he was thankful he didn't have to make awkward small talk with the doctor that was the father to his kid, the lanky alpha not sure how to comfort the other or if he should even do so but his alpha begged him to comfort the Omega. "Turn around" (name) grumbled as the Alpha, slightly startled turned around quickly as (name) began changing "...are you excited to meet them?"
Spencer paused at the question and fidgeted slightly before answering "... yeah, I kind of am"
"I am not doing those 3d ultrasounds though, those things scare the hell out of me"
"Fair enough" Spencer chuckled, (name) didn't say anything but it was his first time hearing Spencer laugh around him.
Nope.
He's just here for the pup.
(Name) shoved his omega down as he sat on the bed, shirt covering his chest "you can turn around now"
"All that to cover your chest? You know we're guys right?"
"And I'm an Omega, it's taboo if I do it remember?" (Name) grumbled out and Spencer made no comment as they waited for the doctor who seemed to be taken their sweet time "I find that stupid" "so do I but it's what has to be done, male or not I'm an Omega"
"So, Any luck with an apartment?"
"None, no one wants to rent to a single pregnant Omega" (name)s words were simple as if he said them hundreds of times before and he probably had, calm and collected as Spencer thought about it.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Powell, here for an ultrasound I see?" The middle aged doctor said as he sat in his stool "you must be the father" Dr. Powell said to Spencer who nodded "Dr. Spencer Reid" the Alpha said calmly as the doctor began the ultrasound, the cold gel feeling weird.
"There they are! Size of a grape" (name) was in wonder as he looked at the blob of cells "oh wait, there's another!" The doctor said and (name) looked panicked "twins? How are they gonna fit in my apartment... Oh god how are they gonna fit in my body?!" His voice shaking as Spencer placed a hand on his shoulder "your body will adjust and I have space at my apartment, you can stay with me till you find a place of your own" his voice serious as (name) looked worried "would there even be enough space?!" He said and Spencer pumped out calming pharamones, thanks to their mating bites it worked as intended since (name)s Omega thought they were mates.
The rest of the ultrasound went smoothly, (name) and Spencer walked out of the clinic together and (name) halted Spencer "I know it was just to calm me down, but you don't have to have me at your apartment, I know it's the last thing you want" (name) though he couldn't stand Spencer, didn't want to make a further enemy of him, his omega already upset they aren't in the same bed and being in the same apartment would just hurt, (name) didn't feel like fighting with his Omegan side like that "oh I was serious" Spencer said simply as he looked at the omega calmly "you're statistically not going to get an apartment that will accomodate a single Omega and their pup let alone two, two sets of hands are better than one especially with twins and we could do rotations..." He listed off why it was a good reason, each point making (name) fidget more and more.
"But don't you hate me?" (Name) asked barely above a whisper and Spencer bit his inner cheek "I'm learning not to" Spencer said back, words truthful as (name) laughed a bit "I'll.. I'll consider it"
When the two got to the office, Penelope was excited to see the ultrasound photos and damn near dropped at the fact they were having twins "two smart asses? Between the two of you, that kids gonna be a menace to their teachers" Morgan teased them as (name) stuck out his tongue "wings up in 20, we have a case" hotch walked in seriously as the team stopped their joking and immediately went to get their go bags, Spencer looking confused as (name) held his go bag "what?" (Name) asked inquisitively and Spencer looked expectantly at him and (name) placed a hand on his hip and glared "I'm going, Reid" he said simply and went to leave the bullpen.
"Absolutely not!" Spencer followed behind angrily "you're not my alpha, I may be carrying your child but I still get to do as I please" (name) said confidently as Spencer looked annoyed "I'm well aware you're a free person with free will but as you said, you're pregnant with my child! This is a homicide case, you're to early in your pregnancy to put this stress on yourself!"
"It almost sounds like you care" (name) teased and Spencer glared "of course I care" Spencer quickly rebutted as they walked to the jet "yes because I am carrying your pup, if I wasn't pregnant with another person's child would you have given a damn if I got on that plane or not?" Spencer was quite for a moment before answering carefully "though we have not cared for one another, the last thing I want is you in danger"
(Name) stared at him carefully before stepping onto the jet "then I'll be sure to keep out of danger, come now we can't leave the others waiting"
Spencer was pouting as (name) looked over the files, paying the Alpha no mind "why are you so mad?" Prentiss asked amused at the other "he's upset I went on this plane, I am Hotch's assistant and until I medically cannot fly I will follow him dutifully like an assistant should" Reid looked the others and Morgan chuckled "I am not getting into this mess"
"Hotch.." Spencer said to his boss who sighed "I would rather him not be on the field but do long as he doesn't go leave specific areas as agreed when he announced his pregnancy to me, I have no issue" of course he did have issue but he knew better than to start a war with (name) over this.
(Name) wasn't deaf to the comments about him when he went places, he was an Omega after all.
He was putting things together for Hotch in a private room of the police precinct when he heard it "an Omega? Imagine he slept his way to get here" an officer commented as the other scoffed "he's mated, who would let their Omega do this shit? This isn't a place for omegas" (name) kept quiet, pointless to cause a scene over things he heard all day "you know degrading comments like that is a surefire way to get suspended" hotch said as the officers sputtered something out before walking off with their tails between their legs "you know you don't have to take that, right?"
"If I got angry at every person who disrespected me, I would be dead" it was honest, sure omegas had rights but it didn't mean they had respect.
Hell (name) knew half the team didn't fully respect him till he proved himself, showing that he was worthy of being Aaron Hotchners assistant "I organized everything by date and by method, there seems to be a pattern..."
"You asked him to move in with you?" Morgan repeated as he and Spencer drove to the crime scene, the genius sighing "he can't find an apartment and no one's gonna take a single Omega with twins!" He said and Morgan smiled "you're apartment isn't big enough for all of them though" and that's when Spencer looked flustered and annoyed "I may have used the money I earned and saved from not just here but the other things and purchased a four bedroom house just outside the city..."
"And you're hoping he agrees"
"Well yeah, it would save one money"
Morgan wasn't even gonna comment about the fact he knew Spencer wanted (name) closer, bonds are crazy things and eventually if enough contact happens... The two will fall for each other... Which was really tragic sometimes but in this case, Morgan rooted for them.
"Thats true, maybe take him to dinner and present the pros of living together" aka a date, thankfully Spencer was too in his head to realize Morgan's little plan "food is a good bribe" Spencer said methodically and Morgan laughed at this as they continued their drive.
(Name) was crocheting plush toys on the hotel bed as a show played in his laptop, waves of nausea coming in waves and he just tried to distract himself as best as he could.
KNOCK KNOCK
(name) was always in edge when people knocked, keeping his gun in him as he walked to the door and looked through the peephole "Spencer?" He opened the door to see the Alpha standing awkwardly "I was wondering... If you wanted to go eat? Talk about plans for the pups" (name) raised an eyebrow, dressed in comfy clothes but not quite pajamas "sure, lemme get my stuff"
(Name) was a simple guy with simple tastes.
So Spencer shouldn't have been surprised when they ended up in a McDonald's booth "I think, we should know the gender so we can plan accordingly" (name) said as he ate his fries and Spencer looked confused "don't omegas typically want it a surprise?"
"Depends on the person, usually it's so they don't get unsolicited advice"
Fair, Spencer thought "if one of thems a pup, we should put aside a fund for nesting as omegas usually start making little bests at around two" (name) explained and took a bite from his sandwich "and collars, those are important" he was a prime example of their importance and Spencer looked sheepish at that "I do have one demand for if we have An Omega" (name) said seriously and Spencer looked confused "what demands?" "The Omega gets treated the exact same as the Alpha, same opportunities and gets to pursue higher education"
"If course, why would that be an issue?"
"Because I had to cut off my family to do so" he said it like it was nothing, just a normal thing but Spencer was horrified "you're smart, you know the statistics" (name)s words cut a bit and Spencer looked serious "I would never deny my kids opportunities for any reason"
"Good, I'll castrate you if you do"
"So about the living thing"
"Yeah, I had a viewing for next week but they canceled in me" (name) grumbled and Spencer sighed "I'm serious though, stay with me"
"Spencer, that's-- that's a thing mates do! We aren't mates! I know because if we were it would make things considerably easier!" (Name) said stressed out, frustration clearly visible on his face " you hate me"
"I want to get to know you, I want to get along with you... We wouldn't be more than roommates" Spencer said earnestly, patience running thin but he had to keep his chill for the other who was so exhausted and stressed "can I think on it?"
"Of course"
(Name) went back to his hotel room, hand on his stomach as he stared off "what do you think?" He asked his belly to no response, after all the pups barely developed enough to be good conversationalists "it would be better for your development..." (Name) whispered as he thought it through...
"Do it for the pups" was (name)s new motto as he got up and walked to his door, housecoat on and made his way to the alphas room.
"I agree... So long as we have equal terms and agreement" Spencer was over the moon as he heard this, his alpha wanting to hold the Omega but he frankly felt he did enough holding of (name) "I'll send you the address when we get back"
#criminal minds x male reader#criminal minds x reader#alpha spencer reid#spencer reid x male reader#spencer reid x reader#x male reader#male reader#criminal minds omegaverse#criminal minds a/b/o#a/b/o
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Timeless - Five Hargreeves X Reader
Main story parts:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38
A/N: Sorry, this took a bit. I was actually pretty close to finishing it before season 4 came out. Then I watched season 4 and fell into a rut for a bit because it was so disappointing and upsetting. Anyway, I finally got my energy to write back and have finally managed to finish it! Also, the title of this chapter is inspired by the song I'm Just Sayin' by Weathers so for any who are interested I'd recommend to go take a listen to it! Alright, thanks! Enjoy!
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Pt 39 - Hate And Love Are Starting To Taste The Same
From where he stood, Five watched as you got into what he could only assume was Dean's car and drove off. Staying in place for a moment, he looked at the number you had written on his arm. Using a finger he traced over the little heart you had drawn. It was a nice detail. Even in one of your worst moments you still took the time to show him you loved him. Although, the more he looked at it, the more he wanted to rush to a phone and call you already. It wasn't an emergency in the normal sense, but he still needed you. He knew he couldn't call though. You needed your space, and he had to trust you'd come back when you were ready to. Seeing as you probably weren't coming back for a bit, Five pulled down his sleeve, turned away from the doors, and walked back to his siblings at the bar. The silence was awkward as he approached, but it didn't last as Diego snapped,
"You just let her go!?"
"I had no choice." Five responded flatly "Even if I held on she could've just used her powers to leave."
"And what if she gets hurt?" Diego interrogated
"I don't know..." Five answered honestly "I just have to hope that she doesn't."
"But you're her boyfriend!" Diego retorted "It's your job to keep an eye on her."
Hearing that comment, Five side-eyed Diego. It's not like he wanted to let you go. Like he had said, he had no choice in the matter. And Diego sure was one to talk. For so long he touted himself as this amazing older brother, this superior protector who was far better at keeping you safe than Five was, and yet these past few days he had done anything but protect you. You grieved your dead parents and he didn't pay attention. You got torn by a kugelwave and instead of helping you, he turned his attention to Stan. You left the hotel and he had no clue where you went. You cried over the fact that your friends got blitzed and instead of comforting you, he comforted Stan who was scared of your residual power. And yet even with all the evidence, Diego still had the audacity to blame Five for your lack of physical and mental safety. Even when he was doing everything he could to ensure the opposite. Maybe instead of blaming him, Diego should take a long look in the mirror given that you had still expressed your love for Five, but had just fully rejected Diego.
"First of all, that was also supposed to be your job, but as we can all see, you failed at that." Five reminded "Secondly, I wouldn't be a very good boyfriend if I forced her to do something she didn't want to do. She respects and trusts my decisions even when she disagrees. It's only right that I do the same for her."
Diego opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but what could he say? Five was right. In some way or another, he had failed you and now you wanted nothing to do with him. Diego closed his mouth knowing he had nothing to reply and instead looked at the knives you had tossed on the ground. Letting out a sigh, Diego slowly bent down to pick them up. One by one he placed them in empty slots in his knife holster and when he ran out of space he carefully pocketed the rest. Standing back up, Diego gave Five a mournful look before returning to his spot by the bar. Taking a seat at one of the stools, he took a long drink from his glass. Stan looked at Diego, not out of any concern, but because of all the shiny knives that were now on his person. Looking at Diego excitedly, Stan asked,
"Can I have them?"
"No." Diego snapped
Diego could see the startled expression on Stan's face. He didn't mean to do that, Stan had already been through enough today. Letting out another sigh, Diego placed his glass down and looked directly at Stan.
"I'm sorry..." Diego apologized before sadly adding "But no, you can't have them."
"But she said-" Stan began to protest
"They're not yours, Stan. They belong to (Y/N)." Lila sternly enforced "You can't have them."
Letting out an annoyed huff, Stan walked away from the pair and sat down at a nearby table, slumping low in his seat to show his disdain. However, neither Diego nor Lila paid it much attention. Sitting in the seat next to Diego, Lila put a supportive hand on his shoulder. Putting his glass down, Diego's eyes met Lila's and in them she could see so much sorrow. His fire was dimmed and it broke her heart to think that she had maybe been the cause of this. She loved him. Diego didn't know Stan wasn't actually his. It was just supposed to be an experiment to see if he'd be a good dad. She was never trying to push you two apart. She didn't even think it was possible. She couldn't stand to see Diego so broken. If she could, she was going to try and fix this, for the both of you.
"She'll come back around." Lila comforted
"I hope so..." Diego lamented
"She will." Lila reassured, "I promise."
As Lila attempted to comfort Diego, Five had walked back behind the bar again. Pouring himself a new glass of whiskey, since Klaus had stolen his first, Five took a drink from the glass before looking at his siblings again. There was an awkward silence as everyone looked around, but it was soon broken as Luther questioned,
"So that thing? It was?"
"A Kugelwave." Five responded despondently "And It's getting worse."
"And all those kids they're...?" Viktor trailed off, the concern evident in his tone
Five grimaced. Those 'kids' weren't just anyone, they were your friends, and if things had worked out they could've been his friends. Hell, with the way they treated him maybe they already were, and now he was down six friends too.
"They're gone." Five answered "And we can only hope that their souls are in a better place."
Hearing Five's response, the wheels in Luther's head finally started to turn. With all the chaos that had ensued from the wave, his thoughts had whipped back and forth trying to figure out what to think and do. But with things settled down, he finally realized that Lucas was gone. But not just gone, he was gone gone.
"Oh no, that thing took my son!" Luther exclaimed, "What am I going to tell Sloane!"
"What's there to tell?" Allison snidely remarked, "You're not his real parents."
Luther glared at Allison, disgusted by her comment. Lucas may not have been his son for long, but he was still his son. Sure, it was a surprise to him, and sure it took your convincing to agree, but Lucas was a good kid. And in those few minutes they were together Luther felt like he had done a better job as a father to Lucas than Reginald had ever done for Luther. He honestly wished he had gotten to know his son better and introduced him to his mother. Who knows, maybe the three of them could've been happy together. And anyway, just because Lucas was late-term adopted didn't make him his son any less. Diego had a surprise son and Allison wasn't doubting his legitimacy. And on top of it, Luther and the rest of his siblings were all adopted too so what kind of authority did Allison think she had on what counted as legitimate parenthood?
"Yes, we are!" Luther replied defensively "Don't talk about my son like that."
Seeing the budding argument between Luther and Allison, and wanting to avoid the topic of parenthood for Diego's sake, Lila interjected,
"Five, how long do we have?"
Luther and Allison side-eyed each other but quickly turned their attention to Five. Finding out how much time they had left was only marginally more important than the argument they were heading toward. Although the resentment was still evident.
"At this rate of escalation, if you factor in-" Five began to explain
"How long, Five?" Allison pressed, cutting him off
So much for Five letting them down gently. After all that happened, he wanted to at least be neutral about their possibly imminent demise, but if bluntness was what they wanted, bluntness was what they would get.
"Four, maybe five days before the rest of existence is blitzed." Five answered
His bluntness had the exact reaction that he was expecting as all of his siblings and Lila let out heavy sighs and stared off into space. He watched as Allison took a heavy drink from her glass before walking behind a nearby pillar to be out of sight. However, even though she was out of sight it did not hide the sound of her panicked breaths. Well, Five couldn't say he didn't try to be sensitive about it. However, there was still a feeling of defeat after all that had occurred. Downing his glass, he then crossed his arms on the bar before leaning down and resting his head on his arms. It's not like there was much else to do.
"We should've given them Harlan..." Luther mumbled
"Luther." Viktor chastised
"What about Harlan?" Diego questioned
The rest of the family looked over to Luther. What was going on with Harlan and why was it important to this conversation? Realizing that it was too late to take back his words, but also that he did not want to hide this information Luther explained,
"The Sparrows said if we turned him over, we could end the fighting, and then work together to save the world."
Hearing this information the rest of the group perked up. Why hadn't they heard about this before?
"But if we didn't-" Luther continued
"But we tried to make peace. Okay? And then the step-siblings from hell attacked, kidnapped you, and they tried to kill us." Viktor chimed in cutting Luther off "I mean, come on. We can't trust them. Working together would be like trying to defuse a bomb by pouring gas on it. It's only gonna make things burn down faster."
"But don't we need the big bad glowy thing in their basement?" Klaus chimed in
As Five heard those words, he blinked a few times in confusion. Was Klaus talking about what he thought he was talking about? All this time, did Klaus have highly important information that he hadn't felt necessary to bring up until now? Slowly, Five turned to look at his eccentric brother as he questioned curiously,
"Klaus, do you know where the Kugelblitz is?"
"Oh, yeah. I saw it. When I went to visit Dad." Klaus replied nonchalantly "It's in the old storage room where Mom used to keep all her luggage."
"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Diego interrogated
"I did!" Klaus exclaimed, "I told you!"
"You say stupid shit all the time!" Diego shouted back before quietly adding "...important stupid shit."
Five slammed the empty glass he had been fiddling with on the bar top and stood up straight as he looked at Klaus. His thoughts which only a moment ago were despondent and wondering how he would spend his last day, were now reinvigorated with some type of hope of fixing things. He couldn't bring the loved ones you lost back, but if he could get access to the Kugelblitz he could stop it from hurting you and maybe you could build a life together where you both learned how to be happy again.
"Of course. It appeared in the same place we did." Five spoke aloud
Five felt a little stupid for not realizing this sooner. Why didn't he think to check the house? It made sense that it would appear there, that's where the paradox formed. Exactly, where they first showed up. Plans ran through Five's head of the quickest ways to get access to the Kugelblitz and the most effective ways to eliminate it. The sooner they did this, the more chance there was for a future.
However, Viktor knew that the tide had turned against him now. Everyone was most likely going to use Harlan as a pawn to get to the Kugelblitz, but he didn't deserve that. He needed a way to keep Harlan out of this. Trying to put his thoughts together, Viktor walked away from the bar and closer to the front desk, but he wouldn't get the time to himself as Luther had already followed him questioning,
"Hey, why are you protecting this guy, huh? It's like Peabody all over again."
Turning around to face Luther, Viktor knew he needed to try and get him off his back. Viktor was metaphorically trapped in a corner and he needed to find a way out of this.
"Harlan is nothing like Leonard." Viktor defended
"Well, he's clearly got some kinda hold over you." Luther protested "Stop covering for him."
There was nothing Viktor wanted more than to leave the conversation, but that became infinitely more complicated as the rest of his family approached him and Luther. Five looked between the two of them. They had been acting odd ever since Luther had brought up the deal the Sparrows offered. Even though it was probably the best plan, it was obvious Viktor wasn't in favor of it because of what it meant for Harlan, but it seemed like there was more to it that Luther was trying to address. Trying to get a clearer picture of what was going on Five asked,
"Covering what? What's going on?"
"He didn't mean to hurt anyone." Viktor dismissed
"Really? You mean, when he did this?" Luther interrogated, gesturing to the cut on Viktor's face
The rest of the group turned their attention to the scar on Viktor's face and it was not pretty. How had they not noticed it earlier? Well, perhaps because of everything that happened, but still it was right there on his face. Granted, it was not as large or deep as the gashes you received from the Kugelwave, but it wasn't small either.
"Ow," Lila commented
"Wait, Harlan did that?" Five questioned
"That's it, I'm gonna end him." Diego threatened
Viktor looked around nervously at his siblings and Lila. He didn't want this to be happening. Every insinuation or accusation that Luther shot his way was just one more reason for the rest of them to be all in on giving Harlan to the Sparrows. Viktor couldn't let that happen, if he did he'd be failing Harlan. He'd be failing Sissy for putting her son in harm's way. He never meant to hurt anyone, it was accidental. He was innocent.
"Look, I know how it looks, but Harlan didn't ask for this. If we hadn't gone back to 1963, if I hadn't saved him-" Viktor tried to deescalate
"He killed Jayme and Alphonso, not you." Luther retorted angrily, "He's the reason we're in this mess, and he's our only way out of it."
Although at this point Five wanted a distinct decrease in interpersonal conflict, no matter what way he looked at it Luther was right. Every plan he had started with getting access to the Kugelblitz without Sparrow intervention or retaliation. And the only plans in his mind that seemed to be plausible for that were the ones where Harlan was traded for access. It was a trolley problem, but the choice was easy to make.
"Luther's right." Five agreed "If we're gonna have an iota of a chance of getting out of this alive, we need access to the Kugelblitz."
"There's only four of them left. We can just overpower them." Viktor retorted frustrated
Five looked at Viktor bewildered. That was a stupid idea. It might've been only four of them, but they were still an incredibly strong team. Did Viktor forget the last time they fought the Sparrows? They got their asses kicked unbelievably hard. Trying to fight the Sparrows again was like willingly signing their death certificates.
"What, and risk losing some of us in the process?" Five snapped
"What? Like your girlfriend?" Viktor retorted
Five's bewilderment morphed into rage. How dare Viktor insinuate that you were weak and would die if they all tried fighting the Sparrows. Not only was that not true since you, one, beat all of them on your own, but two, they LIKED you. Even if you fought on the Umbrellas' side, the Sparrows most likely wouldn't be willing to engage you in that fight given the prior reasons. And on top of it all now, Five was very willing to sacrifice Viktor if it meant you stayed alive. Any concerns that Five might've had about sacrificing Harlan went out the window the second Viktor made that comment.
"No. Actually, she would be fine." Five berated "Because unlike you and the rest of us, she was able to single-handedly beat the Sparrows."
Viktor grimaced at Five's comment. Viktor's words came out before he fully thought them through and now there was no way he was getting Five back on his side. He had to try though, right? Opening his mouth, he was about to speak, but didn't get the chance as Luther remarked,
"Yeah, but we don't have her help now because someone had to make her hate us all."
Anger filled Diego as he whipped to face Luther. He had never meant to upset you, and to have whatever mistake he made thrown in his face did not feel good. But since Luther wanted to keep score of what caused your anger, Diego would too. Stepping up to Luther, Diego shouted,
"You made the family comment!"
"Well, YOU pissed her off enough to think that way!" Luther shot back "How hard was it to say 'yes, I love you'?!"
"ENOUGH." Five yelled
This conversation was heading in a direction that he didn't want to go to. You were upset and that's why you left. There was no discussion necessary because everyone was to blame. If they didn't cause the Kugelblitz none of this would be an issue. But unfortunately, they did cause it so now they needed to focus on fixing the problem. With the two giant idiots now quiet, Five turned back to Viktor and let out a heavy breath before more calmly saying,
"Listen Viktor, Harlan is insignificant."
"You told me once that no one is insignificant." Viktor replied
Five went quiet as he heard his words thrown back in his face. He had said that because it was true. In the grand scheme of timelines and outcomes, anyone could affect what happened. But things were different now. Now, they were talking about one person versus the rest of the world. Yes, Harlan was significant, but he also wasn't. He was the key to getting in the door of the academy and saving the world but after that, in the grand scheme of things he didn't matter.
Viktor looked around at his siblings waiting for someone to say something, but no one spoke. In that moment, Viktor tried his best to appeal to the humanity in his siblings, by quietly stating,
"They'll kill him."
However, his appeal was met with blank stares from the rest of the group. However, it didn't mean they had thoughts on what he said. Speaking up, Lila stated the obvious fact of the matter, saying,
"Uh, so? We are talking about one person versus saving billions of lives here. I mean, is this really a debate for you people?"
"Hey, Little Britain? You don't get a vote." Viktor angrily retorted
"Lila lives in this universe too." Klaus finally chimed in "Besides, she's family now. Kinda, sorta."
"Thanks, kitten." Lila thanked
"I don't give a shit about the Sparrows," Diego interjected "But I'm not gonna let scary-ass Grandpa finish you off."
"Five days ago, he was just a little kid." Viktor pleaded "And what? Now I'm supposed to just decide whether he lives or dies?"
Although Five was still upset at Viktor's comments and was fully ready to hand Harlan over to the Sparrows, he still cared about his brother. And his brother cared about Harlan. It was difficult, but if they were going to save the world and all the people left in it they had to trade Harlan to the Sparrows. It was the only way.
"Viktor, we're down to ethical triage here, all right? We can't save everyone." Five explained gently "The kindest cut wins."
Stepping forward from the rest of the group Luther looked down at Viktor. This was difficult, but it was necessary. Viktor had always wanted to be a full member of the Umbrella Academy, do what they did, and now this was his opportunity whether he liked it or not.
"You always wanted to be on the team. This is what it is." Luther added, mimicking Five's gentle tone "Saving the world means making the hard calls."
"I hate this." Viktor replied quietly
"Yeah, I know." Luther sympathized before quietly stating "I'll go get him."
Luther started to walk past Viktor. He knew how difficult this would be for Viktor so instead of arguing about it, Luther internally volunteered himself to go. But before he could get too far, Viktor turned to face him.
"Wait, no." Viktor called before adding "Let me do it. He trusts me. I can convince him to come quietly."
Before anyone could protest his decision, Viktor had already walked passed Luther and gone up the stairs toward the room Harlan was in. With Viktor gone and the beginnings of a plan in place, the rest of the group slowly dissolved as most of them went their separate ways in the hotel until it was time to trade Harlan to the Sparrows. As the rest of his siblings and Lila walked off he stayed at the bar, pouring himself another drink and wondering where you went.
The thing was, you didn't really know where you were going. Driving away from the Hotel Obsidian, you made your way down the apocalyptic streets of the city. There were even more abandoned cars, missing posters drifted in the wind, and random items were scattered about the sidewalks. The world seemed to have no direction, but neither did you. Where could you go when the city you once called home was now a graveyard? Your brain was numb and while your eyes were on the road, you weren't particularly focused. It was as if you were driving for driving's sake. Trying to escape something, but you couldn't quite get away.
Physically you were alive. Your heart still beat, your synapses still fired, your organs were all in relative working order, but mentally, you had died. You didn't know where to go. Most places that came to mind were just another reminder of what you had lost. Your head spun as you thought of your friends. Their laughter. Their voices. You swore you could hear it, clear as day.
"Where are we going, (Y/N)?" You heard Addison ask
Hearing her voice, your eyes shot up to the rearview mirror only to be met with a set a deep brown eyes looking back at you. But with your powers, you could feel that no one was there. Quickly, you turned off into a side alley before parking the car. Closing your eyes, you placed your hands over them as you quietly said,
"I can't do this again..."
"Do what, (Y/N)?" Kenny's voice asked
You gripped tighter at your head as if that would make him go away, but you knew it wouldn't. And just like that, it was as if you were 13 again. Stuck in a new world, with no parents, no home, and all your friends gone. You were the one thing you never wanted to be.
Alone.
You had worked so hard to get the Umbrellas out of your head after you lost them. You pushed through night terrors and vivid visages of your beloved friends trying to return to some semblance of normalcy. You had pushed away the pain of their loss, half through brute force and half through the support of others like Grace, Eudora, and...Diego. But now, you had no strength to push through, nor anyone to lend you support. Yes, you had Five, but he had more important things to worry about, and so you were right back where you started. Sad, alone, and begging for the phantom visions of your lost friends to not hurt you any further.
Lifting your head from your hands, you looked into the rearview mirror again. Tears began to well up as you saw the faces of your friends in the reflection. You tried to find your composure, but could only manage to gain a few scraps of it.
"You're not real." You stated, your voice wavering
"Of course we're real," the vision of Lucas replied "We're your friends."
"I don't want this!" You shouted, the tears falling from your eyes
"But you want us enough to need it." Dean's visage replied calmly
Dean was right. You wanted your friends back so badly that your head was creating them for you. It was the same reason it did so when you lost the Umbrellas. It was supposed to be comfort, but it was still pain. And for as much as you wanted them back, you didn't have the strength to do this. It hurt too much. Your eyes shut as you held your head in your hands once more. Your hands covered your ears as your fingers gripped tightly at your hair. Curled up as best as you could in the driver's seat, you screamed,
"GET OUT!"
Things went quiet, and when you opened your eyes, they were gone. Slowly, you turned around to look at the back seat. It was completely empty except for a few items scattered about it. Unbuckling your seatbelt, you leaned over the console into the back as you picked them up. Lucas' sunglasses. Addison's lucky bracelet. Kenny's flask. Bren's leather jacket. You pulled Viktoria's phone out of your pocket and placed it in the pile in your arms. With each item, you pressed them against your chest, holding them close as you began to sob once more. This was all you had left of them. A car and everything in it.
You didn't know how long it took to stop crying, but once you did, you felt empty again. At this point, you had given up on miracles, but you wished you could at least have something to distract your mind. Maybe if you got some air something would come along to distract you. You looked down at the objects in your arms. You didn't plan on going far, but you couldn't leave them behind. You had to keep your friends close. Carefully you placed the objects down on the passenger seat as one by one you placed them on your body. You put Bren's jacket on, followed by Addison's bracelet. Kenny's flask went into one jacket pocket while Lucas' sunglasses went in the other, on the same side you wore Addison's bracelet. They were in love, you had to keep the two of them together somehow. And then you placed Viktoria's phone back into your pants pocket. With all of them accounted for, you turned the car off and took Dean's keys out of the ignition.
Stepping out of the car you locked the driver's side door, but before you could walk away something told you to open the trunk. You were pretty sure you knew what was in there. The bag of money Kenny stole, the bag of fanfiction Viktoria put together, and the miscellaneous clothes that your friends had worn prior to the thrift store, and yet you still felt compelled to open it. Walking to the back of the car, you stuck the key into the trunk lock and opened it up, and while you saw exactly what you thought would be there, the was one more item you didn't expect.
Dean's bow and arrows.
The only time he ever took it off was to drive and for some reason going into the hotel was the one time he didn't bring it with him. You let out a sigh as you carefully picked up the bow and quiver of arrows. Granted, it wasn't his old bow, it was the one you gave him, but even for the one day he had it, it was his. And with this discovery, the three things your brother loved most were all in one place: his bow, his car, and you. But he wasn't here to be with them. It was your job to take care of it now. Anyway, with your knives gone, you needed a new projectile weapon so it seemed that this would be your best option. Throwing the quiver over your shoulder you attached the bow to it the way you had seen Dean do many times before. With that settled you closed the trunk of the car, locking it with the key once more before looking ahead. Walking to the front of the car, you patted the hood as you said,
"Stay here, Veronica. I'll be back."
And with that, you started to walk down the alley you had parked in and took a look at the surroundings. On your right, there was the backside of brick buildings and to your left, it looked like that of a warehouse. There was something familiar about this place, as if you had been here before. However, you had lived in this city practically your whole life so many places felt familiar. But this, this was different. It was uncanny. And then you saw it, a set of double doors that you had encountered before. This wasn't just any warehouse. This was the warehouse you almost died in at 17. Out of all the alleys you had pulled into, you ended up in this one. It was almost funny the way the world toyed with you. In your timeline, this place had burned to the ground, but in this one that had never happened and so here it was completely intact. You stood in front of the double doors and contemplated going in. You hesitated for a moment wondering if reminding yourself of that day would be good for you right now, but it wasn't like your day could get much worse at this point, right?
With a shrug of your shoulders, you walked through the doors and into the building. Light came in through the dirty and broken windows illuminating the copious amount of dust. Machines sat broken and the place was abandoned as ever. You wondered what happened in this timeline for it to be left in this condition. In your old one, it was still functioning just severely unsecured. Making your way down the halls you came to a large opening, and found yourself in the same room where everything had gone down five years and two timelines ago. It was still terribly humid in the place, but the air felt mustier than you recalled. Looking around, you could practically see the events of that day replaying in front of you.
Melted guns on flesh, arrows to organs, broken skulls, snapped necks, drowning from the inside, you remembered how all of it played out. You recalled the way in which your body tore at itself from overusing your powers, the current wounds on your forearm and collarbone mimicking the ones you got that day. And then over to the side of the room you saw it, the now-defunct and most likely empty gas tank. Unlike that day when you had rushed over, today you walked slowly, your steps echoing across the floor as you remembered the events that occurred. The last drug dealer alive threw his lighter into the tank and Bren didn't notice as he began to run beside it. You stopped walking and looked at the spot you now stood in. It was the same spot you had jumped over to and pushed Bren to the ground behind you. You mustered all the strength you had left that day to use your powers and protect him from the explosion. All you could recall was the terrified look on Bren's face and then everything went black.
A selfish part of you wished Kenny hadn't saved your life that day. If he hadn't then you would've never had to live without your friends. Never had to fight multiple apocalypses. Never had to grieve their deaths multiple times. Never have been left alone like this. But then again, you'd never want them to feel the pain that comes with the loss of a friend. You knew what that pain was like before you had ever lost them, and you would do anything to make sure they never felt that. Perhaps it was better this way, better for them to die together and you to be alone, rather than the reverse. The last thing you needed was your death turning your friends into the Hargreeves, although you hoped they knew how to stick together better than the Umbrella Academy. Nevertheless, it was an isolating situation as you quietly stood over the site of your almost-death.
However, the quiet did not last as you heard the sound of a door slam in the distance. With the sounds of footsteps approaching, you tried to use your powers to lift a nearby pallet so you could knock out whoever was coming, but all it did was make you feel nauseous. It didn't hurt you to use your powers, but you still needed time to recover from the last energy wave and surely you wouldn't last long in a fight. As the footsteps drew closer to the room you were in you knew you had no choice but to go for a more direct approach. Pulling out Dean's bow and an arrow you lifted it up and pulled the string back just as Dean would've. And as the figure rounded the corner into the room you were in you let the arrow fly. At rapid speed, the arrow shot toward the unknown figure and punctured straight into...the wall next to them.
"What the hell!" The figure shouted
Wait. You couldn't see the person, but you certainly recognized that voice.
"Benjamin?" You questioned, a mix of confusion and annoyance in your tone
You saw as he began to angrily march over to you. His expression was a mix of shock and exasperation. God damn it. You didn't want to deal with this asshole.
"You could've killed me!" Ben shouted angrily
"If I wanted you dead, you would be." You deadpanned
That wasn't fully true. You missed lodging the arrow in Ben's shoulder by about two inches. Dean had given you a few lessons on using his bow and arrow and while you were a decent shot you certainly weren't as good as he was. The only way you could match his accuracy was in your knife-throwing skills, but that wasn't an option anymore. However, that information did not matter because Ben didn't need to know it. What mattered was figuring out what his plan was though. If he was here, he had to have some type of motive.
"Why are you here?" You demanded
Ben stopped in his tracks as he heard your question. His attention locked on you as he retorted,
"I could ask you the same question."
Pulling out another arrow, you raised the bow up once more and aimed it at Ben. Since he was closer now, you were certain you wouldn't miss him this time. And while you didn't want to insinuate a potential fight, you needed him to answer so you could figure out if he was actually a threat or not.
"We both know how capable I am of killing you." You replied firmly "Answer my question."
"Fine." Ben spat "Just put the bow down."
Slowly, you lowered the bow and arrow, but you kept them in your hands, ready to raise them back up if necessary. You stayed quiet, looking at him sternly as you waited for his response. You watched as he took a moment to assess the situation, his eyes darting at the room, the bow, and you before he answered,
"Since the Umbrella Academy killed Alphonso and Jayme yesterday Fei has been sending out her birds to keep tabs on them. One of them spotted you coming here, so I came to investigate."
Your face filled with disgust at the way he spoke. He talked as if finding you here was some sort of retcon mission and the fact that you were possibly being tracked since yesterday did nothing to improve your mood. But then the actual words he said processed through your mind and your stern expression fell as a sad look overtook your face.
"Jayme and Alphonso are dead?" You questioned sadly
Ben looked at you. From where he stood your body language was more relaxed than it was a minute ago and while you still held the bow in your hands, he had a feeling that you weren't going to use it again. When Fei mentioned that one of her birds had spotted you out this way he knew he had to come find you. There was something about you that puzzled him and he wanted to figure it out. He didn't even care that Fei snickered at him as he rushed out the door to find you because he had to. But if he was going to find out why you were in an abandoned warehouse then it would be easier to do so up close. If he could see your face better, he could read you better. Believing that you weren't going to threaten him harm again, he slowly approached as he responded,
"Yeah. The weird old guy with the Umbrellas, Harlan. I watched him kill them."
Harlan? Wasn't that the little boy that Viktor had accidentally given powers to? It had been 50 years though so it makes sense he would've been an old man now. You wondered how he came to be in this area if he was from Texas. Had Viktor sought him out or did Harlan find Viktor? Either way, it was upsetting that two more losses had occurred even if you only knew them briefly. You looked at Ben. Unlike your Ben who you could easily read, this one was closed off. You couldn't tell if the death of his siblings affected him or not, but you weren't one to take familial death lightly. Carefully, you placed Dean's bow and arrow back into the quiver. Even if you weren't his biggest fan that didn't mean your sympathy completely went away. With sincerity in your tone, you said,
"I'm sorry. You didn't deserve to go through that."
Ben paused, the slightest look of confusion on his face. He couldn't remember the last time someone expressed sympathy toward him. He tried to wrack his brain for at least one moment, but none came. No one had ever told him that he didn't deserve to go through the things he faced before. He looked at you intently, your voice was sincere, but he wanted to see if your face was too. He thought that maybe this was just a ploy to get his guard down, but when he looked at you, your expression was soft and your eyes, they were sad, but not in the disappointed way his family had looked at him before. Quite the opposite, your gaze was apologetic. You were genuinely sorry that his siblings had died. He stared at you unsure of what to say and slowly began to step closer, but as he looked at you he began to notice details about you that he hadn't before. Parts of your body were covered with gauze, your cream-colored outfit was splotched with maroon markings that he now realized were dried blood, and your eyes that were soft and apologetic toward him were red and puffy as if you had been profusely crying.
Seeing you this way, it was as if something ignited inside Ben. He could feel as his heart rate increased, the beat of it drumming faster than it did on any mission. He felt infuriated. Not at you, but at the fact that you looked this way. His hands shook slightly at his sides and he felt like he needed to go out and fight someone, but he didn't know who. He didn't know why, but he couldn't stand seeing you hurt like this. With a serious look on his face, and his voice firm and steady, he questioned,
"Who did this to you?"
Your sympathetic look contorted into a frown as you heard his question. Your wounds, both mental and physical, were fresh. The grief and rage of what had happened not to long ago still coursed through your veins.
"Blame the people who killed your siblings," You spat "Their selfish inaction is killing me."
Ben scowled. He already didn't like them, but knowing this made him even more disdainful. He couldn't explain it, but part of him wanted to march right into that hotel and start picking them off.
"The Umbrellas did this?" Ben questioned, vile in his tone
"The black hole caused by them existing in this timeline did this," You stated gesturing to your wounds before gesturing to your red and puffy eyes and adding "And their lack of initiative to stop it, leading to the deaths of my friends, caused this."
Ben's contempt for the Umbrellas continued as you elaborated on what had happened, but there was a part of him that felt a twinge of guilt. When Viktor and Allison came to the Academy to tell them that things were disappearing he initially dismissed them. Now that it had become a bigger issue he did recognize the threat, but he didn't really care about it until now when it had affected you. He wasn't going to open his mouth and tell you that though. Right now you weren't on good terms with the Umbrellas, so perhaps he could get you with him on the side of the Sparrows. It would be nice to have someone competent like you by his side. And also the Sparrows could use your strength. But to do that he had to continue to build some type of rapport. Trying to keep the conversation going, Ben asked,
"So why are you here?"
"I don't know. I just kinda ended up here." You explained, "I guess there's something familiar about the place where my friends' and I's fates were almost reversed."
"Almost reversed?" Ben asked curiously
"When I was seventeen I should've died in this warehouse. In this exact spot actually." You answered, pointing at the spot on the floor where you both stood "Only reason I survived was I took a massive dose of epinephrine straight to the heart."
Ben's face dropped upon hearing your words. His curiosity washed away and his gaze turned to look at the floor beneath his feet. He was standing on the spot where you almost died at seventeen. His body tensed and there was a pang of familiarity in his chest as wicked memories he tried to forget played in his mind. Seventeen...far too young to experience a near-death experience.
"How?" He asked quietly, his gaze still on the floor
Typically, this wasn't a topic you shared with others, but before you could stop yourself though the words just tumbled out of your mouth,
"My friend Brendon, Bren, he- he didn't know the gas tank over there was going to explode. He didn't see the lighter go in the tank and-"
You stopped. Your brain rushed with the events of that day again except this time everything moved slower. You had made your decision to jump in front of Bren in less than a second, but thinking about it again you recalled the one other thought you had before you jumped in front of him. You looked off in the distance toward the defunct gas tank.
"When Ben died, I technically didn't even exist. I couldn't save him. I never got the chance." You explained softly "But I could save Bren. So I did. I wasn't going to let history repeat itself and I didn't care what it would cost me."
Ben's gaze left the floor and back toward you once more. His eyes did not meet your own as you looked off in the distance, but he could see the pained look on your face. Mournful, sad, regretful. Part of him wanted to say something to you, that he was sorry for what happened, that you shouldn't have had to go through what you did, but it felt like the words were caught in his throat. He didn't really know how to articulate it because feeling this way was discouraged by his father. He said sympathy was weak, and yet you were stronger and far more favored by his father than him and still you were kind. But before he could find the ability to say something he saw you open your mouth to speak and so he kept his shut.
"But it doesn't matter because he and the rest of my friends are all gone and I'm telling you all these things because- I don't even know why!" You exclaimed frustrated before quietly adding, "Probably because you're the only one around..."
As you said those words you looked back at Sparrow Ben and for the first time his expression had no anger in it. It was gentle and...sympathetic. You paused. The way he looked at you, it was the same way your Ben would when he was concerned about you. When everyone else was off doing their own things during each apocalypse he always sought you out and made sure you were okay. And he looked just like that.
"What's that look for?" Ben questioned, noticing the change in your demeanor
"You just...look like Ben." You answered quietly, gesturing toward him
Ben's sympathetic look morphed into one of frustration as he exclaimed,
"I am Ben!"
Your face dropped as you heard his outburst. Your sad look changing into annoyance. He certainly was NOT Ben.
"Not to me. You're not my Ben." You deadpanned "You're Benjamin."
You were so infuriating. His name was Ben, he was Ben and you refused to acknowledge him as such. Why? Why wouldn't you address him properly?
"Why won't you call me Ben? It's my name!" Ben ranted
"You've never given me a reason to do so. You've never done anything to show me you deserve the name more than him."
Ben frowned at your answer. Everyone kept talking about this other Ben. This seemingly perfect other Ben. Why? What was the point of bringing him up? He was apparently dead while Ben was right here. And yet they all compared him to this other one.
"All of you treat this other Ben of yours like he's so special." Ben complained
"He's only special to them because he's dead. If he was alive they'd treat him the same way they treat each other." You snidely remarked "Poorly."
Ben looked at you surprised. Your tone was filled with contempt as you talked about how the Umbrellas treated each other. He could see your point though, they weren't quite a united front when it came to things and seemed to constantly undermine each other. However, your statement only covered why this other Ben was special to the Umbrellas.
"He wasn't special to you?" Ben asked confused
You let out a sigh. Quite the opposite, Ben was very special.
"No, he was. But it's because he was my friend. We worked well together, I saw him when no one else could and he listened to me when no one else would." You explained softly "That's what made him special. Who he was, not the fact that he was gone."
You missed Ben. When you told the Umbrellas he was the only one who treated you like family, you meant it. You made him feel seen and he made me feel heard. You saw him, you spoke to him, you gave him the recognition and connection that he had craved for all those years he was stuck with just Klaus. And he heard you, he noticed you when your demeanor changed, he sought you out and always made sure you were okay when no one else seemed to remember to. You respected each other. You understood each other. You missed the Ben who was your friend, your family, but all you were stuck with was his abrasive, confusing doppelgänger.
Ben stood still as he processed what you had said. He honestly didn't know how to react to your explanation since you spoke so kindly of him. Well, this other version of him. He was special because of who he was? Ben had heard something like that before from his father, but that was in relation to his powers and what he could do with them. However, special in that context meant to show how he was above others. In yours, it was a term of endearment. You liked that Ben. You cared for that Ben. But would you ever see him that way too? Ben tried to shake the thought from his head. He didn't like how easily you found your way into his thoughts. It was distracting. He needed to switch the topic.
Just a few minutes ago you had mentioned the black hole causing trouble in the world. Allison and Viktor had brought it up to him and Fei yesterday morning as well. Of course that was before they actually found it in the basement, but he wondered with your abilities did you know where it was?
"So this black hole...do you know where it is?" Ben asked, his tone indicating the awkward change in topic
You raised an eyebrow at him as you tried to figure out what he was getting at. Why would he jump from asking about Ben to asking about the black hole? Was he trying to get information out of you or was he just bad at conversation?
"Uh kinda..." You hesitantly responded, "I can sense its direction when a wave hits, but I can't feel its location without one."
"Why not?" Ben followed up
What kind of conversation was this? Could you even call it a conversation with how weird he was? It didn't really seem like he had an actual plan coming here and was just winging it. You were curious to see how this would play out though, it's not like there was much else of intrigue going on in your life.
"Because it's a fucked up black hole. It doesn't play by the rules." You replied before elaborating "When a wave happens, the black hole is releasing the potential energy that had built up inside it and distributing it across the world. As it does this it sucks certain things in with it because it needs more fuel so it can continue to sustain itself. When it's doing that I can feel it because its energy is disturbing everything."
"So you can't feel it now?" Ben followed up
Was that not what you had just explained? It's not like you were using a lot of big words or technical terminology. It's like he wasn't even paying attention. Did he actually care for your answers or was he just looking at you with a stupid expression just because?
"Were you not listening? Without a wave, it's in a homeostasis of sorts." You explained slightly more exasperated "All of its energy is contained inside of it while the outside is normal. Well, my definition of normal."
Ben could feel a slight heat rise to his face as you asked if he was listening. He was. Well, at least he thought he was. He was looking at you, and he was watching you speak, but the words seemed to fade away a little as he watched you. But he understood now, and to demonstrate his understanding he stated,
"Oh, so it's a paradox."
Okay, maybe he was listening to you. But if so that just meant his face looked stupid in general which was certainly unfortunate for him.
"Yeah, something like that. Schrödinger's energy." You replied "But that is for the Umbrellas to figure out. I literally don't care anymore."
A silence fell over the room. You looked at Ben and Ben looked at you, but there were no more words being exchanged. The silence wasn't awkward though, it just felt empty. It felt like there were more words or at least there should be more words. Maybe it was because you were lonely, but part of you wanted to talk more. Having someone to talk to, even if they weren't your first choice of person, was better than being alone and far surpassed accepting conversation with the voices in your head. But with nothing else to be said, there wasn't really any point in staying.
"Well, this has been...interesting, but I'm going to go now." You stated as you began to walk away
Ben looked at you shocked. No, no you couldn't go. He had only found you a few minutes ago. You had only just started talking. He hadn't even gotten a chance to get his bearings on the situation yet and now you were leaving? Where were you going? The only place you had was Hotel Obsidian.
"You're going back to the hotel?" He questioned
"And run into the life-ruining squad? No thanks." You scoffed back, continuing to walk "I'll figure out somewhere else to go."
Watching you walk away he knew he needed to do something to stop you and before he could even realize he had said it, Ben blurted out,
"Go to the Academy."
Stopping in your tracks, you turned to look back at him. You were surprised he had called out to you, but it was a decent suggestion. At this point where else did you have to go? You couldn't go back to Kenny's, you couldn't go home, and you still weren't ready to face the Hargreeves at the hotel again. And so, all that was left was the one place you kept coming back to. The Academy. With a shrug of your shoulders, You reluctantly replied,
"Okay."
Ben looked at you shocked. He didn't actually think that would work. He thought he was going to have to convince you more to go there. He had already started forming his argument in his head to try and get you to the Academy, but now he was at a loss for words.
"Wait? Really?" He questioned confused
"Yeah." You replied bluntly before turning around and beginning to walk away again
Ben stood frozen as he watched you walk away. He hadn't gotten far in his planning and once again you had flipped his brain upside down. You were so unpredictable. He hated how he couldn't understand you. At this point, all he wanted was to be able to understand you. It certainly would help to dispel the confusion he felt every time he interacted with you.
As you continued to walk toward the door you could feel that Ben was far behind you. Glancing over your shoulder you noticed him still standing in the same spot you had left him in. Encouraging him to follow you called out,
"Hurry up you cephalofuck!"
Snapping from his trance, Ben realized not only how far you were but what you had just called him. Cephalofuck? Really?! Quickly, he started to make his way over to you as he shouted,
"Don't call me that!"
You didn't respond though as you walked out of the main room of the warehouse and back to the door to the alleyway. As you retraced your steps to the door you came in you could hear the sound of speed walking behind you as Ben shouted,
"Wait up!"
You kept going though, and when you made it to the set of doors you came through, you walked through them back outside. Taking a step off to the side, you leaned against the brick exterior as you waited for Ben to exit the building. After a few moments, one of the doors widely swung open and you watched as Ben quickly looked around for you. Catching your gaze, Ben trudged over to you, his hands balled up angrily and his classic scowl present on his face.
"You could've waited for me!" He complained
"I'm waiting now, aren't I?" You remarked
Ben paused. You were so frustrating! You made him so frustrated! He didn't even know what to say. He stopped for a moment trying to find the words, but through gritted teeth, all he could do was point and say,
"My car is that way."
The way he was pointing was in the complete opposite direction of Dean's car and you couldn't just leave Veronica here. It would be wrong. That was your brother's baby. That car is your first niece. Her father was dead, you couldn't just abandon her. You'd be a terrible aunt for that.
"Yeah, no." You rejected "I'm not abandoning the car I came in. You want me to go to the Academy you either have to drive alone or get in with me."
"How can I trust you won't just go somewhere else?" Ben inquired
"Where else do I have to go?" You questioned back
"I-I don't know!" Ben exclaimed frustrated
"Listen man, you can either learn to trust people or you can get in the car with me, but I'm not leaving it behind." You explained
Ben was perfectly capable of trusting people. As the rightful leader of the Sparrows, Ben trusted his siblings to listen to him when they went on missions. Ben trusted his father's judgment. Ben trusted that civilians would respect him went he went out in public. Ben had plenty of trust.
"Fine. I'll go with you." Ben relented "But only because I can TRUST that my car will be okay."
Oh boy. Reginald had really screwed him up, hadn't he? This Ben had no clue what genuine trust was. Genuine trust came with vulnerability and from what you saw, he refused to be vulnerable. Part of you wanted to explain to him what real trust was, but twenty-nine seemed a little too late for an outside intervention. Instead, you gave a shrug of your shoulders and nonchalantly replied,
"Whatever cognitives your dissonance, dude. The car's this way."
Turning away from him you walked down the alley from which you came and headed back to your car. The only sounds you could hear were that of your footsteps and Ben grumbling to himself behind you. You couldn't make out the words he was saying, but you could assume he was ranting about you. It was a shame you ran out of fucks to give just an hour ago, maybe if you had one you'd care to coddle his ego just like you had done with the rest of the Hargreeves. Oh well!
As you arrived back at Veronica, you used the key to unlock the driver's side door, but as you opened it to get in you saw Ben stop. His eyes looked over the car for a moment, before judgmentally commenting,
"This is your car? It looks old as hell."
Technically, he was correct. Veronica was a 1967 Chevy Impala making her quite old, but his tone of voice mentioning that fact was off-putting and offensive to you. Veronica ran better than most cars these days because Dean took such good care of her. She was his pride and joy and you weren't going to let his snide remark slide.
"Excuse you, Veronica's exterior might be vintage but she was built for street racing and she runs like a dream." You retorted "Also, this isn't my car. It's my brother's."
"How did Diego get a car so fast?" Ben questioned
You grimaced at his question. While he didn't know any better given that you had referred to Diego as your brother the last time you spoke, you didn't like hearing Diego being called that. He wasn't your brother. In your experience, a brother was someone who cared for you, and now you knew, Diego did not.
"Diego is not my brother." You spat before adding "This is Dean's car."
"Who the hell is Dean?" Ben asked confused
"My only brother." You remarked quickly "Now get in."
Ben had a few questions about some of the things you had just said, but he could see your frustration building. He wondered if offering to beat up Diego would appeal to you, but his gut told him not to push the issue. With a curt nod of his head, Ben walked to the passenger side and got in the car as the two of you silently drove back to the academy. Ben wanted to say something, but he didn't exactly know how. He didn't think you'd react nicely to him talking about himself and his accomplishments as part of the Sparrows, but he also wasn't sure how to ask you about well...you. Everything you had mentioned so far was either surface level or something that had upset you, neither of which he could build a conversation off of. Instead of talking, he opted to look out the window of the car as he watched the messed up remains of the city go by as you made your way back to the Academy.
It didn't take long, but soon enough the two of you pulled up in front of the building. Without saying much you and Ben both exited the car and headed inside. As you entered the foyer, you could see Sloane walking down the stairs and when she caught sight of you, her eyes lit up.
"(Y/N), you're back!" Sloane exclaimed excitedly, coming over and giving you a hug
"Hello, Sloane." You greeted, hugging her back
As she held you, you could feel her hug getting tighter, and while emotionally you felt comforted by being held, physically you were extremely uncomfortable.
"Augh." You groaned in pain
Scared she had hurt you, Sloane pulled back from the hug and when she took a better look at you, she noticed the bloody bandaging on your hand and face.
"Oh my gosh, are you okay?" She asked concerned
"I'm fine, it's no big deal." You deflected
That was only partially true. You did feel better than you did right after it happened, and your injuries weren't actively hurting you, but the soreness that came with touching those injuries was still present. Your deflection did nothing though as Sloane pressed,
"No, you should have Grace take a look at you."
"I'll be fine." You deflected once more
"No, I insist." Sloane replied concerned "(Y/N), this is your home, please let Grace take care of you like she takes care of us."
With it seeming like she wasn't going to drop the topic until you agreed, you nodded your head and said,
"Okay."
Linking arms with you, she guided you upstairs to the medical room of the Academy with Ben trailing closely behind. Sloane didn't need to guide you, you had been here before and knew where it was. Nevertheless, you didn't pull away as it was comforting to have someone care. As you made your way into the med bay you sat down on the bed in the room.
"Let me go find Grace and send her here." Sloane stated
You watched as Sloane walked back out the door of the med bay and off to find Grace leaving only you and Ben in the room. He leaned against the wall next to the door, his arms crossed over his chest as he looked in your direction. Why was he still here? It didn't bother you that he was, but at the same time, you couldn't understand why he would want to stay. Your Ben always stuck around because he cared, but you weren't close to this Ben the way you were with yours. Did he care or was this some type of 'hero' reflex where he couldn't leave until you were deemed saved? You were sad and injured, but you weren't weak. You didn't need saving.
"You don't have to stay with me, y'know." You mentioned
After the words came out of your mouth you could see his face change. What was once a neutral expression dropped into that of a frown. It looked almost like he was hurt by your comment.
"Oh." Ben responded "Okay..."
You watched as he stepped away from the wall and walked toward the door. He looked back at you for a moment, his gaze lingering and his face still reflecting an emotion of hurt, before turning and walking away. Aw, man. You felt a little bad for sending him away. Maybe he was actually being nice and now you were all alone waiting for Grace to show up.
You sat for a few minutes in empty silence before hearing footsteps approaching. Looking at the doorway, you wondered if Ben had come back, but instead, you were met with an odd sight. It was Grace, but she didn't look like herself. Her wardrobe and hairstyle look almost cultish and she was missing an eye. As she approached she looked at you, but instead of the empty void you felt a few days ago there was something different behind her eyes now, but whatever it was it made you uneasy. You removed Bren's jacket and tied it tightly around your waist so that Grace could look at all your injuries including the one on your forearm.
You watched carefully as she undressed and cleaned your wounds, the peroxide stinging against your flesh as it seeped into what skin was still left open. At least most of the gashes were close to closing themselves. If there was one thing you appreciated most about your powers it was the regenerative factor. Carefully, she placed new, clean gauze over your injuries and when she was finished she turned away and quietly left.
After a moment you stood up from the bed you were sitting on and walked out of the med bay. Catching a glimpse of yourself as you passed one of the large glass windows in the kitchen you saw the blood that still stained your outfit. Since you felt better, you decided to use your powers to remove the dried blood from your clothes. Changing its state back into liquid, you pulled it out from the fibers of your clothing before floating the mass of old blood over to the sink and sending it down the drain. Now that you were all fixed up though, you weren't quite sure what to do, so you headed downstairs in hopes of finding someone in the house. Not Grace though. Someone other than Grace.
As you went through the hallways the Academy was quiet and felt empty. Even though there were far more people living here now than you had experienced while living here, it still felt so hollow. Walking down the main staircase you looked around the foyer before noticing Ben standing next to the fireplace, looking up at his portrait. Approaching from behind you attempted to initiate a friendlier conversation by jokingly commenting,
"Y'know, you'd be prettier if you smiled."
You watched as Ben slowly turned to look back at you. He seemed confused by your comment as he awkwardly began to smile at you, although it looked more like he was grimacing.
"I meant in the painting." You commented, gesturing toward the picture
"Oh." Ben replied, his grimacey smile dropped as he said "It was a serious portrait."
Walking over to him, you stood by his side and looked up at his portrait. He was so young in it. Granted he wasn't as young as Five was in his, but that didn't make it any better. His eyes were filled with sadness even if his face seemed neutral and his hand gripped the arm of the chair he sat in tightly. Charlie had done this painting and he always painted what he saw. You know that Charlie had mentioned in his journal that he didn't want to paint it given what you had told him about Five's portrait. And you could see why, it was nothing like Charlie's art style. It was somber and dark and what it represented was nothing that either you or him stood for. You looked away from the painting and toward Ben. His face was hardened as he looked at the painted version of himself. You didn't know what he had done this time compared to that of Umbrella Ben but you knew that he didn't deserve this as his consequence.
"Yeah, I know it was." You said quietly "I'm sorry you had to pose for that."
"Sorry?" Ben replied confused before stating "My father honored me with that portrait."
"Benjamin, I want to believe you're smarter than that." You replied "You and I both know, it's not an honor to have your portrait over the fireplace. It's a punishment. A reminder to not step out of line."
"What do you mean?" Ben questioned
"Five had a portrait too. Charlie painted it after he ran away through time, but it wasn't made in memory of him." You explained, "It was a reminder to the rest of the Umbrellas of what happens when you don't listen to Reginald."
Looking away from Ben, your attention turned back to his portrait over the fireplace. As you recalled it was the same spot where Five's portrait hand hung in the first timeline and that of your portrait too earlier in this one. You hated the fireplace portraits, they were nothing but a reminder of the control Reginald had over the Umbrellas, and now the Sparrows too.
"I hated looking at that thing, I thought about burning it every day." You commented
"Did you?" He inquired
"No."
Now it was Ben who looked at you, your eyes trained on the painting of him above the fireplace. The expression on your face was confusing, he couldn't tell if it was sad or angry. Perhaps both. He wondered why if you had hated Five's portrait so much you didn't burn it like you thought about doing. Personally, if he saw Five's portrait he'd consider burning it too, and more than likely he would follow through. Nevertheless, he was still interested in your answer as he questioned,
"Why not?"
"It was one of the only pictures where Five didn't have his mask on." You replied gently "I didn't want to forget his eyes...."
Ben scowled at your comment. Ugh. Why did you have to be so sappy about Five? What was so special about him anyway? Ben hated hearing about him from you. Ben didn't really know the guy, but something about Five just bugged him to his core. All Ben knew was that he was a jumpy little guy, probably the smartest of his siblings, and he was your...ugh...boyfriend. Whatever. Ben didn't want to think about him.
"Maybe you should've burned it if you hated it." Ben remarked
"Maybe I should've since having a portrait isn't a good thing." You replied before adding "The only good thing about your portrait being there is that mine isn't anymore. It's gone."
Ben's scowl faded away as he looked at you confused. Your portrait wasn't gone, it was just moved.
"It's not gone." He mentioned
"It's not?" You asked surprised
"No." Ben explained, "When mine was placed there it was moved to your room."
"Is that so?" You said aloud
All the times you had been at the Academy post 60s time jump you had never gone back into your room. It had never actually crossed your mind to go in there since you assumed someone else would've taken it, but looking back it made far more sense for it to still be there. The Sparrows were told that you would return like some messiah, so of course they would've kept your room untouched. Turning on your heel you walked away from Ben and back towards the foyer. You could hear from behind you as he called out,
"Where are you going?"
But instead of responding, you flashed away to the upstairs hall. Walking down the corridor you passed other bedrooms before arriving at your door. Opening it up, you stepped inside, and if it wasn't for the distinct lack of time travel nausea you would've thought you were thrown right back into the 60s. Just like your room at the hotel, this place was completely frozen in time with everything still untouched in its place except for the distinct portrait that hung on the wall over the bed. It was your portrait. The one Reginald had commissioned Charlie to paint as a birthday gift to you. Stepping toward it you looked at yourself. Well, not really yourself, but the idealized version of you that Reggie wanted you to be. The version he made others, including the Sparrows, think you were. As you stood there looking at practically a stranger with your face, you heard as a recognizable voice commented,
"I was wondering when you'd show up."
Letting out a huff, you turned around to see Charlie sitting on the stool of your vanity.
"Oh jeez." You muttered before remarking "Let me guess, my brain sent you since I shooed the others away?"
"Well, one person is probably easier to handle than six." Charlie responded
"Hallucination." You corrected "Not person."
"Tomato, potato. It's almost the same thing." He replied
You rolled your eyes at the phantom your brain had come up with. While his presence didn't hurt as much because you knew he died of natural causes, it still didn't please you to have your mind playing tricks like this.
"What do you want?" You questioned
"To watch." Hallucination Charlie replied candidly
"Watch what?" You asked confused
"Watch that monstrosity go away." He answered pointing at your portrait "Doesn't take a genius to figure out you'd get rid of this thing the minute you got a chance."
While he was correct that you had been trying to get rid of this portrait ever since you had first saw it, you couldn't do so anymore. Sure, you and Charlie both greatly disliked it, but he had put in the time and effort to paint you. And now that he was gone all that was left of him were the works he created.
"I'm not going to get rid of it. You painted it." You spoke back
"Laaaaameee." Charlie's visage mocked "Can't believe my death made you soft."
"It did not!" You exclaimed annoyed
"Then destroy it- oh what's the word you taught me...oh right!" Charlie retorted "Shitwit."
"Rude." You muttered
"(Y/N), you and I both hate it, so obliterate it. Make sure that by the time you're done, there's nothing left of it. Because that's not you. It's the you Reginald wants you to be, not the one I know you are." Charlie explained
If it wasn't for the fact that you knew he wasn't there, you'd truly believe this was your friend in front of you. He looked like Charlie, he talked like Charlie, he was Charlie without actually being him. You watched as he got up from the stool and stepped over to you. His green eyes were bright and sincere as he placed a hand on your shoulder and said,
"If you're not gonna do it for yourself, then do it for me."
Even if he wasn't here you still couldn't deny a request from your friend especially when you knew that if it was actually him, he would've wanted this too. With a small nod of your head, you replied,
"Okay. I'll do it."
Charlie smiled at you and for a moment you actually managed to smile back at him. You turned away from him and went to open the window of your bedroom, but when you turned around to grab the portrait, he was gone. You let out a little sigh, but you couldn't stop now. Taking the portrait off the wall you began to shove it outside the window.
As you were doing this though, Ben walked into your room. He had assumed you had gone here based on the conversation you had in the parlor, but walking up here took longer than just appearing here like you could. As he entered though, he saw what you were doing and a sense of panic began to flood his system.
"Hey! Hey!" Ben shouted frantically "What are you doing!"
"I'm doing what I should've done the day this was hung." You replied back
With each hand holding one side of the frame you ignited the wood and watched as it spread toward the canvas.
"No stop!" Ben exclaimed rushing over to try and grab at the painting "When I said you should've burned it if you hated it I didn't mean this portrait!"
You didn't listen to his panic though and instead dropped the portrait out of the second-story window and on to the concrete of the courtyard. As it hit the ground, the frame broke into multiple pieces and the canvas ripped into a few parts. The flames that you had ignited slowly started to consume the once-grand painting until all that was left was flickering embers. You looked over at Ben with a neutral expression while he looked back in horrified shock.
"Are you crazy?! That was a masterpiece! It was an irreplaceable piece of art! You destroyed it like it was nothing!" Ben ranted
He couldn't believe what you had just done. That portrait was one of a kind. None of the other portraits that Mr. Anderson had done even came close to the quality of yours. Out of all the paintings in the Academy, including his own, yours was his favorite. It was colorful, and detailed, and lively. To him, it was like a bright spot in an otherwise dreary house and now it was gone. He looked at you waiting for some type of explanation, which he got in the form of you stating,
"It's what Charlie wanted."
Ben couldn't believe you. How did you know this is what Mr. Anderson would've wanted? Yes, Ben knew that you were his friend back in the '60s, but he died before you returned. How could you be sure that he would want his work of art to be destroyed? Surely, if it was up to Ben he wouldn't have destroyed it. It was a work unlike any other. If it was his painting, he would've shown the world how magnificent it was rather than leaving it in the shadows. Not knowing what to say to you, Ben gave one last look at the ashes of the portrait before walking away from you and leaving to go to his room.
You watched as he left, unsure of why he was so upset over the painting. It was technically your birthday gift so you could do whatever you wanted with it, but you didn't feel good upsetting him. Sure he was kinda a jerk, but he was probably just misguided by his upbringing, and once again, he looked genuinely hurt by your actions when you were trying your best to be nice. Was your grief making it difficult to be nice or was his background stopping him from accepting a little kindness? He was so back and forth that you couldn't tell. It was like there were two versions of him fighting inside for who got to be present in the moment, a kinder, gentler Ben versus the colder, more abrasive one. Nevertheless, you felt it was only right to try and smooth things over, again, given that he was more tolerable when he wasn't in a mood. Following his path, you stepped into the hallway of bedrooms and saw that only one was closed. Approaching the door, you knocked on it gently as you called,
"Benjamin."
"Go away." He responded
"Okay, yeah that's not how this works." You stated before phasing through the door
Ben turned around in his desk chair to look at you as he complained,
"God, what do you want?"
You didn't respond to him though as you took a look around his room. It was different than that of his room in the Umbrella timeline. First of all, this room was bigger than what your Ben had. It took you a moment to realize, but a wall must've been knocked down since half of this room was what used to be Viktor's in the old timeline. This Ben also had a poster of himself over his bed which is something your Ben definitely didn't. But the biggest difference was what covered the walls of the room. Instead of shelves of books and walls filled with notes, the walls were covered in art. Sketches, drawings, and a few watercolors were plastered across the space.
"I see why you're so upset about the painting." You said aloud "You're an artist this time."
"What do you mean this time?" Ben questioned irritated
"My Ben was more of a writer. He also read a lot. He just loved literature." You explained nostalgically "When he was alive we'd talk about the stories he was reading for hours. And after he passed I used to go into the courtyard where his memorial statue was and read his favorite books. I liked to think that he was on the other side listening and that neither of us was alone."
Ben went quiet upon hearing your response. Without even knowing it, you had stated the reason why he was so upset you burned the painting. Even though he hadn't met you until recently, he had enjoyed talking to your painting. He'd sit on the floor of your room describing his drawings and holding them up from time to time. Your smiling face in the painting was usually the only positive interaction he had, and just like you with the other Ben's statue, he liked to think you had been listening on the other side and that neither of you was alone.
Ben turned back around in his seat, facing his desk full of sketches once more as he tried to shove his feelings down. It was how he was taught to deal with difficulty. It was supposed to make him stronger according to his father, but usually, it just turned people away. He was difficult. At least that's what he had heard a lot from others before they left. He wasn't really sure if he knew any other way to be since no one stuck around to show him any different, but after years of people walking away from him, he was prepared for it to happen. And yet, he didn't want you to go. He wanted you to stay. Maybe instead of holding it in, he might just give it a try to say what's on his mind.
"Y'know you're wrong." Ben mentioned quietly "I'm not upset because I'm an artist."
"Why are you upset then?" You inquired
"Because that painting was the equivalent of your statue to me," Ben answered honestly
As the words left his mouth, you could feel your gut drop. You recalled how heartbroken you were when Luther and Diego broke Ben's statue. It was like killing your friend all over again, and now you had done the same to Ben. Sure you didn't know what it meant to him, but that wasn't a good enough excuse. You had seen him try to stop you and you kept going anyway. Oh god, what had you done?
"I'm so sorry, Benjamin." You apologized "I- I didn't think anyone cared about it."
"I did." Ben stated "But it's just a painting. I'll live."
"I'm still sorry, but we could make a new one. I see that your forte is drawing people." You commented trying to make things better
We? Ben was positive he had heard you correctly and you said we. Not he could make a new one. We could make a new one. Quickly, he turned around to look at you as he questioned,
"You can draw?"
Like everyone else you technically could draw, but when people asked 'can you do x thing?' they typically were asking if you could do that thing well. Your drawing skills were not on par with your piano, your dance, or your science abilities except for one instance and so you hesitantly responded,
"Uh...yes and no."
"I'm not sure I'm following." Ben replied confused
"The only things I can draw well are buildings and buildings interiors." You elaborated "But people, animals, plants- pretty much if it breaths I can't draw it."
"You were friends for years with an artist that my father deemed worthy enough to do all the portraits of the Sparrow Academy and you didn't pick up anything from him?" Ben questioned
His tone didn't sound condescending, but the question certainly did. Yes, you were friends with a talented and successful artist like Charlie, but that didn't mean it made you good as well. The only reason you could draw buildings and interiors was because that was a byproduct of your childhood. Maybe it wasn't his intention, but the question did make you feel bad as you looked at the art around his room.
"Uh, not particularly. While he would draw people or comic book characters I would be drawing rooms and buildings." You answered awkwardly "But with art of this quality that probably sounds pathetic to you."
Ben noticed your shift in demeanor. Had he upset you? He wasn't trying to. He was just curious. Jayme had always told him he had a tone issue though, but he never really understood what that meant until now. Trying to course correct Ben quickly shot back,
"No."
"No?" You hesitantly questioned
"Look around." Ben said gesturing to his art "You see any backgrounds?"
You looked around once more and he was right, there were no backgrounds it was all just people. All the faces were strangers to you though. Even with no backgrounds the skill he had in drawing people was still enough for you to doubt your own artistic ability. Art wasn't your main skill, you didn't practice it often like you did with your other talents, you just had muscle memory from copying your mom and enough upkeep to not permanently lose what you learned.
"You could still probably draw a better background than I could draw a portrait." You stated
"Is that a challenge?" Ben asked
What? A challenge? He thought your compliment was a challenge? How warped had Reginald made his worldview that not even a simple compliment could be accepted without the prospect of proving himself? While you knew it was probably a developed trait and maybe even a coping mechanism to hide some insecurity of his, it was still annoying and triggered your underlying competitive nature.
"No, I was actually trying to be nice to you since I had upset you, but fuck it, it's a challenge now." You remarked back "You draw me and the part of the room behind me and I draw you and the room behind you, and whoever has the better overall drawing wins."
While Ben felt awkward that he had misinterpreted your kindness as competition, he didn't mind this new outcome. He liked seeing the fire in your eyes about proving yourself. It reminded him of himself and he liked the feeling in his chest that he shared something with you.
"You're on." Ben replied, a smirk coming to his face
Turning back around he grabbed a sketchbook, flipping it to an open page before picking up a pencil and an eraser. Turning back around he extended it toward you for you to take. Once the items were in your grasp he stood from the desk chair grabbing another set of the same items before walking over to his bed and taking a seat. He watched as you pulled the desk chair closer to the bed and sat down on the seat across from him. Getting yourself settled, you looked toward him as you asked,
"Is there a time limit?"
"And rush the art?" Ben remarked back "No. Just draw until you're finished."
"Okay, jeez." You replied looking back down at the sketchpad "It was just a question..."
As you looked away, an awkward expression came to Ben's face. Did he really have that bad of a tone issue? He was just answering your question. Nevertheless, his attention turned toward his own sketchpad as the two of you began to draw.
The room was quiet as the both of you worked on your pieces, the only sound to be heard was that of pencils moving across sketchpads. Occasionally, each of you would look up from your papers, your gazes seemingly alternating as you both attempted to copy down the sight before you.
Drawing the room came easy to you. You had sketching the lines and angles of the bedroom and its objects down to a science. Every stroke of the pencil was intentional and the way you blended out the pencil marks in specific spots was methodic. You looked down at your hands and the dark graphite smudges covering your fingertips and softly smiled. Your hands looked like that of your mom's. Your mom the architect, the designer. Looking at your hands, it felt like a piece of her came back to life if only for a moment. But that moment was fleeting. Your drawing was nice to be sure, and if an average person saw it they'd probably be impressed, but it still wasn't close to the level of skill your mom had. And unfortunately, you'd never get to learn her tricks because she was gone.
Looking down at your drawing it was almost complete except for the blank oval in the middle of the page where you were supposed to draw Ben. You already knew this wasn't going to go well, but you still had to try. If there was ever a time for a hallucination version of Charlie to appear it was now, so he could give you advice on how to not fuck this up. But alas, he decided not to show so you were left to your own devices. Trying your best to remember what he would do, you started out with just a bunch of shapes in the general form of a body. Somehow, even though it was just shapes, it already looked bad. Your only hope was that by adding details it would somehow come together, so you started by drawing his polo shirt, his pants, and his hair.
And then you came to his face. You tried your best to capture his features, but with his head constantly being down looking at his paper all you could see was the right side of his face. Part of you wanted to draw an angry frowny face and call it a day but the detail-oriented part of you wouldn't let it happen. You saw as he looked up at you for a moment before turning his head back down, but in that moment you briefly caught sight of something on his left cheek. Leaning forward, you gently reached a hand out to try and tilt his face toward you, but the second your fingers brushed his skin Ben pulled back. With his gaze on you, you clearly saw what had caught your attention. It was a scar. Pulling your hand back slightly, you looked back at him waiting for him to say something.
But Ben didn't respond, he only looked at you shocked. The thing was, he wasn't shocked that you had touched him. Plenty of people had touched him before, whether it was his siblings in training, an enemy he was fighting, a persistent fan who just had to get their hands on him, or one of the girls at the clubs he would go to with Christopher, whose name he had forgotten right after they said it. He was no stranger to unexpected touch, but all those times it was aggressive, demanding, rough. But your touch, it was gentle.
No one had ever done that before...
"I just wanted to see it for my drawing." You said quietly
There was that sincerity in your tone again. Something about it made him pause and as his eyes darted over your face, he could see that your expression seemed almost worried, as if you were concerned you had scared him. You hadn't, at least not in the way you probably thought you did. It wasn't your action that had worked up his nerves, but the feeling he got from it. He felt fuzzy inside. Slowly, he leaned his face back toward your hand before hesitating. He wanted to feel your touch again, but for a moment his brain wondered if this was some type of scheme to catch him off guard. He looked at you once more, but your expression was the same worried look as you softly added,
"I wasn't gonna hurt you."
As you said those words Ben felt a twinge of...regret. It was an odd feeling since he had only felt this way a few times before, but the feeling was there. As your hand slowly began to pull back, he quickly leaned in, causing your fingertips to touch his scar once more.
You now looked at him shocked, your fingers pulling just centimeters away from his face, but quickly you realized what his action meant. It meant he trusted you. He trusted you wouldn't hurt him. It felt like a bit of a switch-up from the Ben you had interacted with thus far but, you were the type to reciprocate energy. If he was going to trust you a little, you could trust him back. Gently, you placed the tips of your middle and ring finger back on his cheek as you carefully traced his scar. Ben closed his eyes as your fingers brushed the permanent mark on his face. For once, he seemed calm. You wondered if he had ever actually felt calm before. You knew from the Umbrellas that the life of a Hargreeves was not one that knew peace, and with the way the Sparrows were you could only assume the concept of peace was even more foreign and warped to them. As you looked over his scar you wondered how he got it.
"Hmm." You hummed
"What?" Ben asked, his eyes opening back up to look at you
"It's odd." You stated, "We don't typically do this."
"We?" Ben questioned curiously
"I've found it's rare for people like us, people with powers, to have visible scars." You commented, "Whatever happened, it must've been pretty bad to leave a lasting mark."
Ben looked down as he recalled the circumstances in which he got his scar. Even years after it happened he tried not to remember that day given its significance, but he couldn't help it. The memory flashed in his mind like a cruel reminder of his greatest mistake.
"Yeah...it was bad." Ben mumbled, "I failed."
"Was it the Jennifer Incident?" You asked
Ben looked up at you, the traces of hurt he felt from his memory quickly dissipating as he looked at you confused.
"No? I don't even know a Jennifer." Ben stated before asking "What is that?"
You looked back at him nervously. You had assumed that his scar was a different result of whatever happened to your Ben in the Jennifer Incident. Your Ben died, but this one did something different and managed to make it out with only a scar. But obviously from his response that wasn't the case.
"(Y/N), what's the Jennifer Incident?" Ben asked again
"It's uh-" You hesitantly responded "It's how Ben died."
"What happened?" Ben pressed
Pulling your hand back from Ben's face, you sat back in your seat, looked at the floor for a moment, and let out a small sigh. And as you looked back up at him, he could see grief in your eyes, similar to the look you had when he first found you at the warehouse.
"That's the thing. I don't know. No one would tell me anything except that it was a tragedy." You explained sadly
You looked around Sparrow Ben's room. You had to look anywhere but at him. He had everything of your Ben's. His face, his voice, his name, and yet he was still practically a stranger. The worst part though was that even though he was a stranger in your friend's body, you could see flickers of your Ben in him. There was his care and concern somewhere in there. His sense of understanding peeked through the bars of the tough persona Sparrow Ben put on. But it was the way he listened to you, that reminded you of Ben the most. It was so easy the way you could just start rambling to your Ben, and he sat listening and engaged, and somehow this one was the same. He was listening when no one else was.
"I asked Diego a few times over the years thinking that it was my age that was the issue. Y'know, don't tell a traumatized thirteen-year-old how their friend died. But when I got the same script over and over, I kinda stopped asking." You continued
"Same script?" Ben questioned
As you thought back to those times you asked you could feel a mix of emotions build in you. There was the obvious grief remembering your friend who was gone, especially when you were sitting across from someone who shared his name, and face, and currently a part of his personality you missed. Then there was the frustration that you never learned what happened. And finally the anger at the response that you were always given.
"Yeah." You scoffed before reciting in a mocking tone "It was a tragic accident. Ben died because we failed as a team. Nobody was responsible yet we all were responsible. Ben Hargreeves represented the best of us. Ben was the Umbrella Academy."
Crossing your arms over your chest your eyes finally met Ben's once more. The amalgamation of your feelings reflecting on your face as you complained,
"It's a bunch of avoidant bullshit if you ask me."
You looked away again as silence took over the room. Your mind wandering away from thinking about Ben's death and instead focusing on Diego's resistance to tell you what happened. All the times you asked, he could've just stated what happened, but instead, he always recited the same stupid script. Your eyes moved to the floor and your voice was low as you broke the silence mentioning,
"I guess he never trusted me enough to tell me the truth..."
As Ben saw the change in your demeanor he could feel a tightness build in his chest. It was similar to the feeling he got when his Dad would reprimand the Sparrows after a mission, but not quite the same. There was that feeling of something wrong, but less in a disappointment way and more of a drive to do something. He wasn't particularly interested in having you reconcile with the Umbrellas, they were assholes and the less you wanted to be around them the more time you would spend with him. However, he still felt inclined to do something. Trying to change the subject, he switched back to the original topic as he inquired,
"So what about you?"
"What about me?" You asked confused, looking back at him
"So you don't have scars?" Ben asked
"Oh. Typically no." You answered before explaining "When I was sixteen I tore up the entire left side of my face. It was really bad, but by the next morning it was like it never happened."
"What happened?" Ben asked
"It was..." You began to speak
But then you stopped as you recalled that day, the memories playing in your mind like a bad movie. As you shut your eyes you could hear Diego and Eudora's voices shouting at each other. You could see the anger on their faces and the hurt in their eyes as the fought. A chill ran down your spine as you remembered the cold downpour of rain that washed over you are you rode your bike away from the scene and you winced as you recalled the pain of your face scraping against concrete.
Ben watched as you winced and your expression filled with pain. He already could tell that whatever you were remembering, it wasn't good. It was the same way he'd react to his bad memories before he started pushing down the feeling. Shit. He was trying to make you feel better, not worse. God, why was he so bad at trying to be good? You made it look so easy.
"Forget I asked." Ben quickly dismissed
Opening your eyes, you looked back at him as you tried to push the thoughts away.
"No, it's fine. It was...it was an accident." You finished answering before redirecting the conversation "But I mean, I do have these few scars from earlier when the Kugelblitz tore into me. They've already begun to heal over though."
You gestured toward the bandages that covered your gashes. Your injuries didn't sting much anymore, but when you moved the parts of your body they were on you could still tell they were there. Pulling the bandaging off your cheek you showed Ben the scar that was there. You watched as Ben reached his hand out slightly before pausing.
"Can I?" Ben asked
You nodded your head and Ben fully reached his hand out to trace your scar just as you had done to him. In a way, you were like him the way you were marked by a tragic event. Your scar was noticeable but faded like his, but while his scar curved downward yours went across your cheek. However, he had his scar for years while yours was apparently only acquired this morning and yet they were the same amount of healed. He wondered why others' injuries faded away so quickly while he was stuck with a constant reminder of his failure. Then again, was it actually easier to move on from a failure by having all reminders of that pain fade away quickly or would that lack of healing cause more pain in the long run? Either way, you both had been hurt by life and it seemed like neither of you was quite as healed as you liked to think you were.
"It's so faded." Ben commented
"Yeah," You responded "It'll be gone soon enough, like it never happened."
"But it did." Ben stated gently
You looked at him. His tone wasn't harsh when he said it, on the contrary, his tone was actually empathetic, but it hit you like a ton of bricks. It did happen. You may not physically bear your scars but they were there. These moments in time that had hurt you were real. They happened.
"It did." You said quietly
As Ben looked back at you, his expression was neutral, but you could almost see the corners of his mouth curve up as he mentioned,
"Well, until then it seems we're matching."
"Yeah, I guess we are" You replied before asking "Should we finish drawing?"
"Huh?" Ben said confused
"Should we finish drawing or have you given up on competing?" You taunted, gesturing to the sketchbooks in each of your laps
Ben looked down at his sketchbook before looking back at you. He had completely forgotten all about drawing, but as he heard the taunt in your tone his competitive spirit came back in full force.
"Absolutely not." Ben scoffed
"Then get drawing, Benjamin." You remarked as you picked back up your sketchbook
As your head tilted down to look back at your drawing, Ben picked his pencil and sketchbook back up and began to draw once more. Finishing the details of the wall behind you, he started to work on drawing you, but as he did so he noticed details he hadn't before. He noticed the way your hair fell around your face and how you kept having to push a particular strand out of the way. He noticed the way your eyebrows scrunched and how you bit your bottom lip when you were thinking about something. He noticed the way sunlight from the window fell on you giving you a golden glow. He noticed you. And so he drew what he saw, but it was a tedious process as he felt what he had created wasn't exactly right. He wanted the details he noticed to reflect on the page, but it took time and time again for him to feel what he had created was good enough. His poor eraser had been absolutely demolished between all the revisions he had made, but at a certain point, he finally felt happy with what he had created. And when he looked up from his sketchbook he saw you sitting there twirling your pencil between your fingers.
Seeing Ben look toward you, you assumed he was most likely done as you asked,
"Finished?"
"Yeah." He responded
"Alright then, you go first." You commented
You watched as Ben turned around his sketchbook to show you his drawing and when you saw it you were highly impressed. The background of his drawing wasn't quite as detailed or emphasized as yours was, but it certainly showed his skill for perspective. Where he really focused his detailing though was his drawing of you. It was quite different from drawings you had seen of yourself before. Most of them had been made by Charlie, and while he was a master of realism he typically drew you very stylized, like a comic book character. Ben's drawing however was somewhere in the middle, it wasn't quite one-to-one realism, but you could definitely tell that it was you. A very pretty version of you nonetheless.
"Wow, the only other person to ever draw me was Charlie,' You mentioned, "Your style is so different from his."
"Why? Is it bad?" Ben questioned
"No, it's amazing!" You replied enthusiastically "If only you could pursue art full-time. I think you'd really go far."
Ben paused a moment. He never really thought about life outside the Sparrow Academy. The Sparrow Academy was his everything. He was always told that his only responsibility was protecting the world so the thought of doing anything else seemed farfetched. Did you really think he could succeed at anything other than being a superhero?
"You think so?" Ben asked sincerely
"I know so." You stated confidently
It was odd. The confidence in your answer made Ben want to believe you, but believing you that he could succeed at something other than being a Sparrow meant that the last 29 years of his life were mostly a waste. And that was a thought he didn't want to confront. Pushing the topic away, Ben replied,
"Okay. Your turn."
"Right!" You exclaimed as you looked at your drawing
You looked at the details of the room you had drawn and you knew they would make your mom proud. Not that she ever wasn't proud of you, she always was, but knowing you were able to mimic her passion if only for a moment felt good. But then you looked at your drawing of Ben and...
Fuck.
He looked like a poorly drawn anime character...if you could even call it that. It was only comparable to when the Ouran High School Host Club characters were drawn with less detail to be funny. Except they had done that on purpose, and you, you definitely had not. Why did you let your competitive nature get the best of you? Why did you agree to this? You knew you couldn't draw people. This was a bad idea from the start. Granted the room you drew looked great, but the messy figure in the center really retracted from it. Letting out a defeated sigh you slowly turned the sketchbook around to show Ben and watched his face go through a journey as he looked at it.
"You're right. You are good at drawing rooms. The details are lifelike." Ben commented
You could tell his comment was genuine, but you could feel him holding back more thoughts. Surprised that he hadn't outright insulted your work, you prompted him to speak,
"But?"
"I don't look like that." Ben remarked flatly
"I told you I'm not good at drawing people!" You shot back defensively "I can only do backgrounds."
"And I said the background is good!" Ben responded, "It's just I've seen better art of myself before..."
"You know what?" You questioned snarkily "You wanna know what you really look like?"
"What do I really look like?" Ben inquired sarcastically
Angrily you flipped to the next page of the sketchbook as you quickly scribbled a drawing on it. It was not detailed in the slightest, but it was far more accurate.
"Like this." You stated
As you turned the notebook around, Ben saw your new drawing of him. It was a crudely drawn octopus with an angry frowny face. Ha ha. How clever.
"I definitely don't look like that." Ben replied unamused
"Yes, you do." You remarked playfully, as you held the drawing up next to his face "Your face is doing the same angry scrunch now."
"Whatever." Ben dismissed before asking "So if art is my thing, what's yours?"
"Well, I'm good at a lot of things."
"Well drawing people surely isn't on that list." Ben joked
"Shut up!" You snapped before calmly adding "But piano is the one I'm known for."
Ben recalled moments throughout his life when he heard mentions of your musical ability. He remembered a time when he and his siblings were pressing keys on the piano in the parlor, and when their father heard he stated they shouldn't even try to learn because it wouldn't compare to your ability. There were also the times when Pogo played his classical music records and would tell the Sparrows of his memories of you playing piano for him when he was a young chimp and how lovely the music was. Your ability to play piano was always described as something incredible and he always imagined being able to hear it himself.
"Oh, right." Ben commented "I bet you play beautifully,"
Ben paused. That was weird. Why did he say that? Trying to move away from it, Ben quickly added,
"So I've heard at least..."
"I can show you." You offered
"I'd like that." Ben replied gently
Your lips upturned into a small smile. You liked being around him a lot more when he was kind like this. It reminded you of Ben. Standing up from your seat you extended your hand out toward him.
Gently, he took your hand. He sat still for a moment letting the electricity of your touch flow through him. Your skin was soft and so was the way you held his hand. Ben felt as you pulled his hand closer to you, beckoning him to stand. Standing up he looked down at you, a tender smile on his face and he continued to hold your hand. It felt like a bright warmth surrounded the two of you as you stood together. However, just as soon as he was standing, your hand pulled away and as you turned to walk away, the warmth of being close to you faded. Although you couldn't see it, his smile dropped for a moment. He liked being close to you.
As you made it to Ben's bedroom doorway you turned back to look at him only to find that he wasn't following you. Weird. You thought you were going to show him your piano skills. Your head tilted slightly as you asked confused,
"Are we going to the piano together or not?"
Together.
Ben perked up at that word. His small smile returned as he walked over to you and replied,
"Absolutely. Let's go."
But while you made your way down to the parlor, Five was stuck in the lobby of the Hotel Obsidian. After everyone had left, Five had sat and waited at the bar for the time when Viktor would bring Harlan down for the trade with the Sparrows. Even with Viktor's rude comments earlier, Five could understand the difficulty of giving Harlan up. Viktor cared for him and while that was nice it definitely wasn't worth sending the entire world down the drain over. Harlan had apparently caused some difficulties to the point that the Sparrows were willing to work with the Umbrellas if Harlan was sacrificed. And so he had to be. There was no other way.
Sipping on another drink Five wondered where you were. You could've gone back to Kenny's house since you always mentioned in your diary that it was the main hangout spot for your group. But then again, that could be upsetting since there were so many memories there. Or perhaps you had gone back to your childhood home. It was completely empty given the fact that your parents never got a chance to meet in this timeline, but maybe there was still some comfort to be found there. Or you were somewhere that he couldn't even predict. Wherever you were he just hoped you were okay. He couldn't stop thinking about worst-case scenarios and all the ways he could lose you, especially after finding out his Commission Founder self failed to keep you alive.
Five could feel his heartbeat pick up slightly as the words his Founder self had written began to run through his mind once more. Rolling up his sleeve he looked at the phone number on his arm. You told him to only call in an emergency. Did his worry for you, his need to hear your voice and know you're alive, constitute an emergency? Currently, nothing was wrong.
Except for him.
He felt like his head was being pulled in a million different directions. The apocalypse. Witnessing his death. Your safety. His siblings' antics. Trading Harlan. Anticipating what comes next. The challenges he faced, the worlds he kept creating and erasing in his mind, they were exhausting. It felt like he didn't even have a moment to spare for himself. A moment to think. A moment to breathe. Every time he got one of those they immediately slipped away. All he did was survive and even then, another version of him didn't make it. Would he?
Five tried to push the thought from his mind. He couldn't question it, he had to survive. He had to survive for the same reason he always did. You. Carefully, he pulled the ring he had found out of his pocket. Trying to calm himself, Five looked at the ring in his palm and envisioned a life of mundane joys with you. Grocery shopping, taxes, household chores, taking a walk in the park. God, it seemed so nice. If he had one hope, one wish, it was to be able to live a simple life with you. His mind wandered to thoughts of better days and simple times by your side, but his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Luther asking,
"Viktor come by yet?"
Pulled from his thoughts, Five looked up as he saw Luther walking toward the bar. Quickly, he shoved the ring back into his pocket. The last thing he needed was Luther seeing it and asking him questions.
"Oh- uh- no." Five replied trying to collect himself "Not yet."
"Well, I'm sure they'll come around soon." Luther stated as he finally reached the bar
Five nodded his head at Luther's statement, but did not have much of a response to add. His head was still trying to switch gears from thinking about you to thinking about the apocalypse again. There was a silence between the two brothers as they stood by the bar together. It wasn't particularly awkward, but it wasn't enjoyable either.
Luther looked around at the space. Just mere hours ago he had gained and then lost a son and then was told that he didn't know what family meant and that he was a selfish, stunted adult. So far, today was not great. Your words had stuck with him though. Did he know what it meant to actually be a family? Had the Umbrella Academy ever really been a family to each other? There was only one period of time where he truly felt connected to his siblings and that was when everyone was the same age and they had you as a friend. Your words were hurtful, but were they true?
"Hey, Five?" Luther asked breaking the silence
"Hmm?" Five hummed in response
"Do you...do you think what (Y/N) said is true?" Luther hesitantly questioned
"Be more specific." Five replied, "She said a lot of stuff to a lot of people."
"The whole family thing..." Luther quietly replied, "You think she's right?"
"Well, I never think she's wrong." Five stated
Five's response wasn't what Luther was looking for. He wanted more of an explanation of why you would think that, and to his knowledge, no one knew you better than Five. He waited a moment to see if Five would elaborate, but when no elaboration came Luther pried harder,
"Yeah but like we are a family, aren't we?"
"In namesake I suppose." Five responded flatly
"What about beyond that?" Luther pressed "Y'know connection wise? We're siblings aren't we?"
"We are." Five answered before adding "But if what she said bothers you this much that means some part of you believes she might be right."
Luther shifted uncomfortably as guilt began to grow inside him. The feeling settled in his gut as he was forced to confront the reality of his relationships with his siblings and the way he treated them. And you.
"Maybe..." Luther replied, his voice low "I just...I don't understand what the difference is between her definition and ours."
While Luther may have forgotten what the difference between you and his siblings was, Five never forgot. That difference was what kept him going in his darkest of times. And if the truth of this difference would get Luther to reflect on himself rather than trying to get some type of relief for his cognitive dissonance out of Five then he needed to hear it.
"The difference is love, Luther." Five explained seriously, looking him dead in the eyes "We were raised on conditions and achievements and outcomes, but she was raised with unconditional love. We expect results from each other, her only expectation is to be loved back."
As he heard those words, Luther went quiet. His mind replaying moments with you from across his life. He recalled how nice you were when you were both children and the way you'd listen to his interest in space and encourage him to talk about it more. You constantly told him you were proud of him while his father never even uttered those words once. When Luther was happy, you were happy. He then thought about how you had acted when you were different ages. If he was cold to you, you were cold to him, and if he was kind so were you. You always gave back what you were given, but even so, you were still willing to help. You still cared. You always cared. But, besides Five and until recently Diego, they treated you like some type of stepping stone. You were a means to an end. There was no question about it...
You were right.
You had loved them and they just used you. They used each other. If they weren't a family then what were they to each other? What is family anyway? However, before the thought could eat at him more, Klaus sauntered up to the bar to join him and Five. Looking between his brothers, Klaus asked,
"What are we hanging around here for again?"
"Viktor and Harlan." Five responded, "Remember?"
"Oh right." Klaus recalled
Reaching over the bar, Klaus grabbed himself a drink before hopping on the bar top and sitting crisscross on it. A silence fell over the three Hargreeves brothers as they waited for Viktor, but it didn't last long as the ding of the elevator rang through the empty lobby. The trio looked out at the lobby and watched as Viktor began to walk past the bar. Seeing Viktor, Five walked away from the bar with Luther close behind.
"Hey." Five gently called out "It's time."
Hearing Five's voice, Viktor stopped in place. For the past few hours, he had been working out this plan to get Harlan to safety, but through it all he had forgotten to come up with what he was going to say. Freezing up, he could only stare at his brothers in silence.
Not seeing him with Viktor, Five looked back toward the elevators for where Harlan could be. He was an old man after all, he couldn't be far. But as he glanced at the back part of the lobby no one was there. Looking back at Viktor, Five asked confused,
"Where's Harlan?"
Still not knowing what to say, Viktor bluntly stated,
"He's gone."
Hearing those words, Luther immediately knew what had happened. It was honestly stupid of him and the rest of his siblings to think Viktor would do anything other than this. And in a way, this proved your point from earlier even more to Luther. You said they only cared to help each other when they needed something and that they were all selfish. Once again, you were right.
"You let him go, didn't you?" Luther stated
Realizing what was going on, Five looked at Viktor a mix of shock and disappointment on his face. How could Viktor do this? He was risking the sake of the world and the safety of everyone left in it for one insignificant person. This trade was supposed to be their entry into accessing the Kugelblitz and Viktor selfishly threw it away. If the Kugelblitz continued who knew what could happen to people? Who knew what could happen to you. Frustrated, Five turned his back to Viktor. He couldn't stand to look at him right now.
Viktor however was not of the same mindset. He knew his siblings would be upset, but it wasn't worth it to him to trade Harlan to the Sparrows.
"Harlan's death is not gonna stop the Kugelblitz. It's just gonna be another tragedy on a tragedy, and we can find another..." Viktor immediately defended "I will find another way."
"Well, congratulations, Viktor." Luther retorted "You managed to destroy everything. Again."
To Luther, your point of view was becoming ever more clear, and if there was any love between the Hargreeves siblings there certainly wasn't a visible amount of it. And just like you, he didn't want to be here anymore. He'd far rather spend his time with someone who actually cared about his feelings. Sloane. With an annoyed shake of his head, he walked off toward the front doors and out of the hotel.
Five watched as Luther walked away and for only a moment turned to look back at Viktor. He didn't have many words to say, but one thought did linger.
"I really thought you were smarter than that." Five said disappointed
With a roll of his eyes, Viktor silently walked off. Taking a few steps forward, Five watched as Viktor walked out the doors leaving the hotel. And then there were two. From behind him, Five could hear as Klaus sarcastically commented,
"Well! That went great!"
Five knew that Klaus' comment was sarcastic in nature, but it didn't stop the disappointment at how unfortunate this was. With one person's decision their whole entry into saving the world, again, was gone. Five wished that for once his siblings wouldn't stall or roadblock saving the world, but unfortunately, it seemed that was not something they were capable of. And while he already agreed with your opinion on his family, this just made him empathize with it more. Slowly turning around, he saw as Klaus took an actual seat at the bar rather than on it and reached for a nearby bottle of vodka. Feeling confused and defeated Five made his way over to the bar and sat in the seat next to Klaus. He watched as his brother grabbed two shot glasses and poured heavy-handed drinks into them.
"There." Klaus stated, sliding one of the glasses over to Five
"Thanks." Five replied
Today was a mess. Granted, most days of his life were a mess, but somehow today felt so much worse. He found out he created the Commission to save you, he found out that he was unsuccessful and you died, he watched you get torn apart by the Kugelblitz and lose all your friends, he watched your relationship with the rest of his siblings dissolve and you walk away from the Hargreeves family. And while all of those distressed him there was something about facing his own mortality that truly haunted him. Seeing his death forced him to confront his failures. If that version of him went to so many lengths to save you and the world and yet he still died old and alone, where did that leave him?
"I saw my future self die." Five mentioned quietly
"That's crazy. Almost the exact same thing happened to me." Klaus explained "But I didn't die, but I did, but..."
"He told me not to save the world. And then he died." Five spoke at the same time as Klaus
"I don't know..." Klaus added
"What do you think he meant by that?" Five questioned
Hearing each other's statements the two of them looked at each other with slight confusion.
"Well, shouldn't you know?" Klaus asked
"Shouldn't you know about your-" Five began to ask back
However, as he saw Klaus raise his shot glass he realized it wasn't worth it to ask and dropped the topic. Picking up his shot glass he gestured it toward his brother as he said,
"Salut."
"Well, up your ass." Klaus chimed back
Five shot Klaus a look as Klaus downed his shot, but instead of lifting his own glass up to his lips Five instead let some of his thoughts tumble out. Typically, he would tell you these things, but since you were gone he needed someone to listen to him.
"Klaus, I've dedicated my entire life to stopping the apocalypse. Apocalypses, plural. And he tells me..."
"Mm-hmm?" Klaus encourages
"That it's... it's, what? It's meaningless?" Five questioned aloud as he continued explaining
"Oh, well, I don't know anything- " Klaus mentioned as he refilled his shot glass
"Maybe that's his way of saying not to become him, but..." Five trailed off
Letting out a heavy sigh, Five finally downed his shot of vodka. Maybe the alcohol could help him feel better, but he doubted it. It numbed his pain, but it never made it go away. The only thing that could truly make him forget about his pain was you.
"Oh, you're really messed up about this, huh?" Klaus commented
He was more than messed up about it, he was pretty much wrecked by it. His founder self had failed his mission and died, and now here he was on the same path practically doomed to repeat history if he didn't find some type of way to change things soon.
"I've cheated time so much, I guess I just figured I'd somehow cheat death." Five elaborated "But it turns out, I die alone as a one-armed nightmare inside a bureaucratic hellscape of my own design."
"Spoiler alert!" Klaus exclaimed trying to lighten the mood
Five didn't pick up on it though as he was still stuck in his own head. Reaching into his suit pocket he pulled out the tattooed piece of skin he had cut off his Founder self, placed it on the bar, and remarked,
"Not to mention the trashy tattoo."
"Is this your skin?" Klaus asked intrigued as he poked at the cut flesh
"I'll be damned if I go out with an old man tramp stamp." Five retorted
"If you don't wanna end up like this guy, why don't you just do something completely different?" Klaus suggested enthusiastically "Completely different- Move upstate, lose your virginity, become an alpaca farmer. I think (Y/N) would like alpacas."
Five thought about what Klaus had said. He could do something different. And living on a farm with you did sound pretty nice. Just doing anything with you besides the apocalypse sounded nice.
"Yeah, I could. The timeline's malleable. We've proven that much. I could try and break the cycle, but-" Five began to reply before cutting himself off and asking "Wait what was that second part?"
"Don't worry about it. You'll get there on your own." Klaus reassured, "Listen, just keep your arms and extremities away from sharp objects, and don't join the Mothers of Agony."
"What?" Five asked confused
"The tattoo." Klaus explained, "It's the symbol of the biker gang, the Mothers of Agony."
Picking up his Founder self's skin he looked at the symbol tattooed onto it again as he questioned,
"You know them?"
"Like two timelines ago, they were...how do I put it?" Klaus elaborated "My farmacistas."
Finding this out, the wheels in Five's head began to turn. He may have lost access to the Kugelblitz, but maybe someone in the Mothers of Agony could help him out. If his Founder self had been marked with their symbol it meant there was at least one person there who could give him some insight on how to fix this mess. Rolling the tattooed skin up, he placed it back in his pocket as he stated,
"This is good."
Five began to step away from the bar, but before he could get too far he realized he had no clue where the Mothers of Agony were. Turning on his heel he looked at Klaus again who was already pouring himself another shot.
"Wait..." Five asked, "Where are they located?"
"Corner of Morgan and Grove Street." Klaus answered, "Pretty hard to miss with all the bikes outside."
"Thank you, Klaus."
Leaving Klaus behind at the bar Five quickly blinked outside the hotel. Rushing to the sidewalk he stuck out his hand and hailed an oncoming cab. Before the cab even came to a full stop Five had already opened the door and sat in the back seat. Slamming the door behind him, he looked at the cab driver and said,
"Morgan and Grove. Quickly."
Turning to look at who had just gotten into his car and requested a ride to the intersection of Morgan Street and Grove Street, the cab driver gave Five a once-over look. He was slightly confused as to why this finely dressed young man wanted to go to an unwelcoming biker bar such as the Mothers of Agony, but he didn't care enough to ask. With a shrug of his shoulders, the cab driver faced forward again and began to head toward the destination as Five headed to his next clue in the puzzle of saving the world.
While Five was headed off to his next destination, you had already made it to yours. Like usual the parlor of the Academy was empty. For something that was supposed to be the fancy equivalent of a living room it sure always felt dead in there. But off in the corner, you saw a familiar sight of the grand piano you'd play. As you walked over to it, Ben seemed to linger a few paces behind, but that wasn't really something you were focused on. Approaching the piano, you could see the lid was closed and covered in dust. How long had it been since someone touched this? Had it sat silent all these years? Wiping the dust away, you opened the lid and ran your fingers over the keys, not pressing any of them yet and instead admiring the feeling. There was something comforting about feeling the keys beneath your fingertips. Perhaps it was the familiarity, but as you continued to caress the ivories, your hand stopped at one specific key. You hovered over it for a moment, but with one press a single G note echoed through the parlor. From the corner of your eye, you could see Ben's head snap to look toward the piano, and as you turned to look at him a smirk came to your face.
"I see someone had an emo phase." You remarked playfully
"Emo phase? I don't even know what that is." Ben replied defensively
Instead of responding to him though you went back to playing the intro keys to Welcome to the Black Parade but stopped before the final note. Looking back over at Ben you saw panic form on his face.
Ben knew that if he corrected you, you would know that you were right, but at the same time, it was practically disrespectful for you not to play the song's intro in full. He tried to hold back and keep himself from correcting you, knowing that's what you wanted, but the frustration of the incomplete intro was too much as he demanded,
"Play the last note!"
"Ha! I knew it!" You exclaimed
You saw as Ben rolled his eyes as you played the final note of the intro and released him from his turmoil. Although now you were going to have to deal with his annoyance at finding him out.
"So is that all you know how to play?" Ben deflected
"Benjamin, do you realistically think that's all I know how to play?" You questioned rhetorically
"No." Ben answered
"Exactly." You stated, "Now, you can either continue sulking that I found out you actually might have some music taste or you come over here and listen to me play like you said you would."
Ben looked at you for a moment, watching as you pulled out the piano bench and sat down. You were worming your way further and further into his brain and he wasn't sure what to do about it. He wasn't against it, and he wasn't really fighting it at this point anymore, but it was still a little scary how you did it with such ease. Softly, you began to play the sound of an ambling melody as Ben finally walked over to you. Sitting down next to you on the piano bench he heard as you asked,
"Any requests?"
In that moment it was as if his mind went blank and he had never listened to any music in his entire life. He could say Welcome to the Black Parade, but he'd probably never hear the end of it from you if he did. With nothing else coming to mind he answered,
"Uh no, you pick."
"Oh, there's so many choices. Classical, musicals, modern piano covers..." You rambled as you tried to think
And then it hit you. The perfect song to fill this lackluster house with some vibrance.
"Have you ever seen Howl's Moving Castle?" You asked Ben
"No, what's that?" He responded curiously
"It's a beautiful animated movie. The story is touching, the art is incredible and the music, the music is iconic." You explained "The song I'm gonna play is from that movie. Now, it won't quite be the same without the strings, but I'll make it work and hopefully, you'll still like it."
"If you're as good as people say you are, then I'm sure I will." Ben replied
"I am." You stated confidently
A smirk came to Ben's face at your response. He liked your confidence. It was one of the many things he was starting to admire about you.
Looking down at the piano you took a breath and placed your hands on the starting keys and after a moment of silence, you began to play Merry-Go-Round of Life. Slowly, the beginning of the piece flowed through the Academy, it's enchanting sound filling the silent halls. Closing your eyes you embraced the nostalgic feeling you got from the song, and as it approached the first string part you used your powers to press more keys than your hands cover making it so that both the piano and what was technically the string portion could be heard.
But as you moved through the piece, duetting with yourself and bringing life to the joyless building, you could hear the sound of strings playing in your head. Specifically, you could hear the familiar sound of a viola playing the string portion of the song. Opening your eyes you look up and past the piano and there she was, Viktoria, standing there with a smile as she played her viola along with you. As you looked off to the left, you saw the rest of your friends, including Charlie, sitting on the couches happily listening to you play. You knew in your head that they weren't there, but for a moment you'd let your heart believe they were. A small, bittersweet smile came to your face as you let the music flow through you and played in honor of the friends you lost.
Ben listened in awe as the gorgeous melody of the song filled the air. Even though you were playing one instrument it was almost like he was hearing a whole orchestra given how many parts you were playing at once. As the music danced through the room, and Ben watched you perform with all your talent he could feel emotion build up in him, but once again he couldn't find the words to describe it. But he could feel it. The feeling was warm and made his chest feel tight and his stomach do flips. He didn't think about it much though as he focused his attention on you.
That was until he saw something move up above the two of you. Looking up toward the balcony above the parlor, Ben could see his three remaining siblings standing there listening to you play. Sloane smiled with a dreamy look on her face, Fei stood leaning slightly over the balcony railing as she watched intently, and Christopher slightly swayed to the music. And as the song crescendoed their awestruck reactions reflected Ben's own feelings as he knew they were recalling the same memory he had of their father from when they were children. But now hearing you play, Ben knew their father was right, your abilities were beyond compare. Even if they tried none of them would've ever gotten to your level of talent.
Swaying with the music, you closed your eyes and played with all the emotion you had in you. You put your entire heart into the piece, at least all that was left of it. And as the song came to its end you opened your eyes once more and saw all of your friends were gone. You could feel slight tears prick your eyes as your moment of peace slipped away, and you were reminded of the fact that they weren't there to begin with and they never would be again. All you had left were the phantom versions in your mind that both helped and hurt you each time they appeared. As you lifted your hands from the keys and placed them in your lap you heard Ben compliment,
"That was amazing,"
"Thank you." You responded softly
Ben could hear the hint of sadness in your tone. It was faint and perhaps if he wasn't paying so much attention he would've missed it. Nevertheless, it was there.
"What's wrong?" Ben inquired
Looking away from your lap and toward Ben you could see the concern on his face and you heard the care in his tone. You didn't expect him to notice such a small change in demeanor but it was nice. It was familiar.
"I'm fine, it's just a memory." You recalled "My friend Viktoria and I would duet the song together. She played viola so she'd take the string parts while I'd play the piano. I heard her playing in my mind, but I know she's not here."
He looked down at the ground as he felt a pit forming in his stomach. Two floors below you was where the black hole that took your friends and tore you apart was, but you had no clue because it wasn't actively giving off a wave. Part of him didn't want to tell you about it. He was finally having positive interactions with you, and he worried if you found out that this whole time the thing that had hurt you was right beneath your feet and he hadn't told you, there was a chance that those would stop. Then again you'd probably find out at some point either through your powers, his siblings, or your annoyingly persistent...boyfriend. Perhaps it was better if he told you. At least then he could say he was honest with you. looking over at you Ben called,
"(Y/N)?"
"Yeah?" You replied
"I want to show you something." Ben stated
You looked at him slightly confused. You had come down here to play the piano and now he wanted to go somewhere else? Seeing your hesitation, Ben added,
"It's important."
There was sincerity in his tone and you could see the serious look on his face. If it meant this much to him then you might as well see what it was. Nodding your head you replied,
"Okay."
"Follow me." Ben said, gesturing out of the parlor
Standing up from the piano, you closed the lid before following him out of the room. As you walked through the Academy, you made your way down the stairs, past the kitchen, and to the basement door. You looked at Ben concerned as he opened the door and began to walk down the stairs. What the hell was in the basement that was so important to show you? Cautiously, you followed him down the stairs and when you reached the bottom landing you could see a bright light glowing behind a wall down the corridor. You followed behind Ben as he walked toward the glowing light and as you rounded the corner you finally saw what he wanted to show you. You stood there in shock as you took in the sight of a bright burning orb floating in the air. It rippled and flared like a miniature sun and yet it wasn't really affecting anything right now.
"Benjamin...is that..." You began to question hesitantly
"The black hole? Yeah." He responded, "I thought you might want to know given well...y'know."
You looked at the orb silently. This thing had been the cause of most of your pain recently, both physically and emotionally. It was a danger to your existence and was continuously tearing apart your life. And yet as you, one anomaly, looked at another anomaly, you couldn't help be be slightly enthralled. You were born out of nothing and felt everything, and this black hole was born out of everything and felt nothing. The world was a sucker for balance and you and the Kugelblitz were opposite sides of the same coin.
Carefully, you walked closer to it. You knew it couldn't hurt you right now, as you described it to Ben, it was Schrodinger's energy, but you wanted to understand it more. As you stood about a foot away from it, you brought your powers to the forefront, rather than letting them linger idly in the background. With your back turned to Ben, your eyes glowed blue, and for a moment, it felt like nothing, but as you honed in a little more you could feel the potential energy of lying underneath the surface of the Kugelblitz. It reminded you of a pot of boiling water with a lid on top. From the outside, there wasn't really much feeling, but inside there was so much more going on. You could make out the feeling of the microbursts of energy beneath the calm surface and the way those bursts created more pressure inside. It scared you a little, how you were currently safe, but you knew that wouldn't last forever. Due to the "lid" it couldn't hurt you now, but the minute the Kugelblitz boiled over, it was gonna hurt again. And it was going to hurt a lot.
Slightly, you raised your hand toward the Kugelblitz to "feel" it better, but the moment you did so Ben grabbed your hand and pulled you back. But he was only able to hold on for a second before a rush of overwhelming pain coursed through his system causing him to drop to his knees. He grabbed at his head that now loudly pulsed as he let out a groan.
Your eyes reverted to normal as you returned your powers to the background. Turning around you looked down at Ben, as you reprimanded,
"Don't do that. Do you know how dangerous it is to touch me when I'm using my full abilities?"
"Do you know how dangerous it is to touch that thing?" He shouted "And what do you mean full abilities?! What the hell was that!"
"Literally the weight of the world. You just felt everything around us." You shouted back "My powers have an active and an idle mode. You could've killed yourself grabbing me when they're fully active like that!"
With his pain subsided Ben stood up from the floor and approached you. A look of frustration covered his face as he yelled,
"And you could've killed yourself if that thing decided to flare out! I was trying to protect you!"
You didn't shout back. Instead, you stayed quiet as you looked at him and in doing so you noticed something. The expression on his face that you thought was frustration wasn't actually such. It was concern. Genuine concern. yes, he had looked at you slightly concerned earlier in the day, but those times it still felt like he was trying to somewhat hide it behind some tough exterior. This, however, was out in the open. He was concerned and he wasn't hiding it...kind of like a friend would do.
"Okay." You responded calmly "It's an intriguing phenomenon, but I'll be more careful around it."
Ben paused. He felt good knowing you wouldn't get so close to the black hole but was confused by the fact that you weren't yelling back anymore. When he got into arguments with other people they just kept yelling until one person walked away, but you didn't walk away, you just stopped. It didn't feel like you relented either, you just calmed down and agreed. Was that normal for people? Because to him it felt...out of place. Not really knowing how to respond now, Ben replied,
"Oh. Okay."
You waited for him to say something else, but when nothing came you looked away from him and at the Kugelblitz once more. Ben mimicked your action and the two of you stood silently as you watched the glowing ball ripple. This was it, huh? The thing that was going to destroy everything.
"So does it hurt?" Ben asked breaking the silence "Feeling everything all the time?"
"It used to when I was really little, but not anymore." You replied "Well, except if Viktor uses his powers too much or that thing explodes. Then it hurts like a bitch."
"That sounds terrible." Ben remarked
Your powers weren't terrible, only the painful experiences that were a side effect of them. You loved your powers, they were an integral part of who you were and how you lived. Even when your abilities were idle you still felt everything and it was like the world was singing to you. For as long as you could remember the world was full of life and song and there was nothing you would trade that for.
"No. Excluding those exceptions, it's actually really beautiful. Everything has its own little hum and it's like a symphony that plays just for me." You answered, "What would be terrible is if it all went silent."
Your answer intrigued Ben. He certainly never considered his powers to be something beautiful. Until he learned to control his powers he found them to be mostly a burden, not that he would tell anyone that. And even now, they might not be a burden but there certainly wasn't anything beautiful about eldritch tentacles from a portal in his gut. If he could choose between his power or yours, he'd probably pick the versatile, deadly, and apparently beautiful one you seemed to possess.
"So what do your powers sound like?" Ben asked
"Oh well, it's less of a sound and more of a feeling. But it's like a loud feeling. Kinda like being next to a giant speaker-" You began to explain before cutting yourself off and saying "Actually, it would be easier to just show you."
Ben saw as you stuck out your hand toward him and looked at it hesitantly. He was interested in your offer, but not the associated pain that came with it. While it might not hurt you, it sure as hell hurt him and he wasn't sure if he was willing to experience that again.
Seeing his hesitation you could easily assume it was from the immense pain he had experienced only moments ago. Given that experience, he had every right to be hesitant, but you tried to ease his mind adding,
"It won't hurt this time, I promise."
Not getting a response from him though you extended your hand slightly closer to him as you asked,
"Do you trust me?"
"Yes." Ben replied gently, taking your hand
The word had come out of his mouth before he had even realized he said it. It had rolled off his tongue as if he had answered that question a thousand times before. The word came to him so easily, easier than it ever had before. Trust was a complex concept for him. The only person he truly trusted was himself. Even his trust for his siblings and father was conditional although some more conditional than others. And yet, as he looked at his hand holding yours, there wasn't a double in his mind that he trusted you without condition.
"Good. Now if you get lightheaded let me know. My friends didn't and they all passed out when I did this with them." You mentioned, "Also, if it starts to feel like your bones are vibrating out of your skin don't freak out, that's normal."
Ben's head snapped up from looking at his hand holding yours, as he quickly questioned,
"Wait what."
However, you did not hear his question though as you had already started bringing your power to the forefront more. The symphony of the world grew louder as you focused on emphasizing your abilities enough for Ben to feel them, but not to the point where it would hurt him. You were the only person who was cut out for fully feeling all that existed. Granted, it wasn't really a choice in the beginning, but it certainly was now and you wouldn't put that on another person unless they deserved it. As you slowly increased your focus you could feel the rhythmic hum of everything around you come together like an orchestra playing a song. Closing your eyes you peacefully embraced the feeling of it all and it was beautiful.
Ben however was trying to process feeling like his bones were going to vibrate out of his skin. You said that this was normal, but it certainly didn't feel it. As for his prior thought of wanting to switch powers with you, he immediately took that thought back. His heart was racing. Was he going to die? This was terrifying. More terrifying than his powers were before he learned to control them. How was this beautiful? But as he wondered if this would be over soon he heard you calmly say,
"Feel it, don't fight it."
He looked over at you. Your eyes were still closed and you looked peaceful as you took steady breaths in and out. He didn't know if he could stop fighting the feeling of his skeleton hatching from under his skin, but he was the one who agreed to this so he could try. For you. Closing his eyes as well, he mimicked your steady breathing as he tried to feel the same way you felt. For a moment it still felt like his insides were going to come out, but then the sensation changed.
Instead of one overwhelming vibration, it splintered off into a bunch of smaller ones. It felt less like an explosion and more like a blanket that surrounded him. Some of the vibrations were faster, and some slower, and yet they all came together in a coordinated way. And then he heard it. The loud hum you were talking about. You were right it was less of a sound than it was a feeling, but the longer he embraced it the more he understood your point. The way every feeling came together, it was like a symphony. It was your symphony and it was incredible. Opening his eyes, he looked over at you.
There was a peaceful smile on your face as the glow of the black hole reflected off your skin and as you held his hand he could feel that electric feeling rush through him again. And for a moment it felt like he couldn't breathe.
"I think I'm getting lightheaded." He stated
"Oh, that's enough for you then." You replied concerned
Quickly, and to Ben's internal disappointment, you pulled your hand away from him and put your powers on the back burner again. Looking over at him, you smiled as you commented,
"It's pretty right?"
"Very." He replied
Before you could say anything else, your stomach growled loudly and you could feel how empty it was. Huh. You were so distracted by the events of the day you totally forgot that you needed to eat.
"Hungry?" Ben asked
"Yeah. I haven't eaten since this morning." You replied
"Well, there's a diner a few blocks away." Ben suggested
"They got coffee?" You asked
"It's a diner, of course they do." Ben answered
"Alright, let's go then." You said
You took one last look at the Kugelblitz. You knew this thing, this frightening, intriguing anomaly, would be the cause of your demise, but you might as well make the most of the time you had left. And so ignoring the facts in front of you, you followed Ben out of the basement and back upstairs to go grab food at a diner. But as the two of you walked into the foyer to exit, you saw as Luther walked in the front door with Sloane. Whatever positive feelings you had just a moment ago quickly faded as you saw him. Your anger and annoyance came back in full swing as you watched him finally notice you. Part of you wanted to just turn invisible and walk outside the door, but the last thing you needed was Luther or Sloane stopping Ben because you walked out. Perhaps the two of you could get by them without an interaction. That thought was quickly disproven though as Luther awkwardly greeted,
"(Y/N). Hey."
"Luther." You deadpanned
It was obvious that you were still upset about earlier, and reflecting on it rightfully so. Granted, Luther hoped more of that anger was directed toward Diego although Luther did bear some fault. Trying to smooth things over, Luther began to explain,
"Listen about what I said-"
However, Ben could sense your annoyance. You didn't even like the Umbrella Academy members. You didn't want to see them, let alone talk to them. But beyond your annoyance, Ben could feel his annoyance grow too. You and him were supposed to be going to get dinner together and Luther had the audacity to stop you guys? Stepping forward, Ben cut off harshly,
"Does it look like she wants to talk to you?"
"Huh?" Luther replied, looking at Ben confused
You didn't want to do this. You didn't want to talk to Luther. Truly you didn't want to talk to any of the Umbrellas except Five, of course. He was the only one you weren't upset at because he was the only one who actually cared about you. And this attitude that Ben was having about the situation wasn't desirable either. Sure, it was nice that he was supporting you, but you didn't need him to fight your battles. Especially when there really wasn't a battle to be had. Trying to avoid the situation, you walked past Luther to the front door as you called back,
"Benjamin, let's just go."
Ben gave Luther a dirty look before relenting and beginning to follow behind you, but right as you opened the front door you heard Luther call out,
"(Y/N) I'm so sorry about Lucas."
"Who's Lucas?" Sloane asked
"Our son." Luther answered
"What?" Sloane questioned confused
"I'll explain later." Luther said before repeating "(Y/N) I'm sorry about Lucas."
And this was exactly why you didn't want to talk to any of the Umbrellas except Five because unlike him, they didn't get it. They didn't understand your pain, your grief, your anger. And they surely didn't understand that their apologies meant nothing now that it was already too late. Wasting your time with Ben was a decent distraction, but you still could feel that heavy, twisting feeling in your gut knowing that your loved ones were forcibly taken from you and there was nothing you could've done about it. You could feel emotion begin to build up inside you. Lucas spent his whole life through the good and the bad looking up to Luther and this is all he got in the end? A simple apology after he was already gone. Looking back over your shoulder at Luther, you tried your best to keep yourself together as you replied,
"Don't talk about him like you cared."
And with that, you walked out the door leaving Luther and Sloane behind.
"(Y/N)..." Luther called sadly
"Leave her alone." Ben remarked back as he stood in the doorway "Hasn't your family fucked up enough already?"
Luther wondered what Ben's deal was, but before he could try to inquire, Ben walked out the door pulling it shut behind him. Walking out the front gates of the academy, he made his way over to where you stood on the sidewalk.
"You okay?" Ben asked
"Yeah, just caught off guard." You responded collecting yourself "I wasn't ready to face any of them yet."
"I can kick him out of the Academy if you want." Ben mentioned, "After all, it's our home, not his."
"Eh, it's not worth it." You rejected before stating "Let's just go eat."
And so the two of you walked away from the Academy and around the block to the diner
At this point, day had turned to night and a cool breeze blew down the city streets. The silence and the lack of life were even more evident at night compared to earlier in the day. It was eerie, but more so it was sad. As you rounded the corner of the block, you saw up ahead the place Ben was talking about. The neon sign might've said Greta's Diner, but you recognized the building immediately. It was Griddy's. Or at least it would've been if you were in the right timeline. You paused for a moment looking at the building as Ben continued to walk ahead. However, after a few paces, he stopped and looked back at you calling,
"Come on."
Picking up your pace, you caught up to him as the two of you made it to the building. Opening the door you stepped inside and took in the surroundings, getting hit by a wave of nostalgia as you realized they were the exact same. The layout, the color scheme, the entire vibe, it was all identical.
"Well, this is the place." Ben stated before asking "Where do you want to sit? Booth? Counter?"
You looked around the place as memories rushed back to you. You remembered a few times with your friends, crowding the seven of you into one booth to enjoy some late-night pastries. There were the times when Eudora would take you here for a quick breakfast before dropping you off at school. And then there were the most important memories of this place. Your times with Five. You remembered sitting at the counter next to him on the day he returned back into your life, and those few nice moments before this apocalyptical cycle started. And then there were all the times you spent here as kids. You could practically see the younger versions of you and him sitting at the booth in the back corner. You with your jelly donut and him with his plain glazed one. You recalled the way the world would just fade away as you sat and talked for hours, day after day. It was nice. You missed that.
Turning your attention back to Ben, you answered his question saying,
"Table."
It's not that you couldn't sit at a booth or the counter with Ben, but those places were special. If you were going to sit there then you should be sitting there with Five. Nevertheless, you walked over to one of the many open tables in the place and sat down across from Ben. While Griddy's, or well now Greta's, was never the hot spot to be, it never felt deserted either, but right now this place was a ghost town with only you and Ben in it. For a moment you even wondered if there was anyone working here before you saw a server finally walk out from the back. As she rounded the corner from the kitchen she looked surprised to see you and Ben there, but put on a nice customer service face as she approached the table. Seeing her customer service face, you felt bad for being here. You should've just tried to deal with Luther's presence and ate at the Academy rather than making this waitress serve you in the middle of a global crisis. It was too late though as she already had pulled out her notepad and greeted,
"Welcome to Greta's, what can I get started for you?"
"Coffee. Cream on the side." Ben stated before adding "Pork roll, egg, and cheese. Salt, pepper, ketchup."
"Okay." The waitress replied writing everything down before asking "And you?"
"Um, coffee and a plate of disco fries." You answered before quickly adding "And one jelly and one plain glazed donut please."
"Alright, I'll get that started for you two." The server replied, "I'll be right back with a coffee pot."
As the server walked behind the counter to get your coffee, you looked over at the booth in the corner again and thought of your boyfriend. As much as you needed this time away from the Umbrella Academy, you still hated leaving him. The only positive was he hadn't called yet which meant he probably wasn't in danger. Although, you wished he had a cellphone so you could call him instead of waiting for him to call you. Maybe that wasn't a good idea though. You were pretty sure he didn't know how to work a smartphone, and if his reaction to that vending machine that wouldn't give him a snack was any indication, a smartphone given to him probably wouldn't be functional for very long. However, that didn't stop the feeling in your heart of wanting to be with him. You loved him and you missed him.
Soon enough the waitress brought back a pot of coffee, some cream, and two cups, placing them on the table for you and Ben. You gave her a polite smile before grabbing the pot and pouring some coffee into both, pouring slightly less in Ben's to make room for the cream he wanted. When you were done pouring, you placed the coffee pot off to the side and as Ben poured cream into his cup, he inquired,
"Can I ask you something?"
"Go ahead." You replied
"Where did you learn to draw so well?" Ben questioned "I mean buildings so well."
You elected to ignore his correction knowing that he was bad at talking and probably didn't mean it as a slight. But as you thought about the answer to his question you smiled knowing exactly why you were so good.
"My mom." You answered softly as you reminisced about her "She was an architect and interior designer. I always watched her drawing buildings and room interiors so that's all I ever practiced drawing too. I like to think I got pretty good at it, but it'll never beat her drawings."
Ben didn't expect your answer. You were so intertwined with that of the Umbrella Academy that he forgot that you weren't part of it. But what intrigued him the most was the way in which you spoke. You responded softly, but there was a reverence in your tone and although there was a smile on your face there was a sadness in your eyes. You missed her. He wondered what it was like to miss your mom. Ben had no memories of his birth mother since he was adopted right after he was born and Grace was never really a mother to him, just a maid. What was it like to have a mom? What was it like to have a parent you wanted to be around and be like? Was it nice? It seemed nice.
"Do you want to be an architect like her?" Ben wondered
"No, I didn't really share my parents' passion for buildings." You explained candidly "My dad was an engineer. My parents owned an all-in-one architecture, construction, and interior design firm. They loved creating buildings, but me? Not so much."
"So what do you want to do?" Ben inquired curiously
A question that used to be so simple was now so loaded. You didn't know what you wanted to do anymore. You wanted to graduate high school, but you never existed in this timeline. You wanted to go to college with your friends, but none of them were around. You wanted to have a life with Five, but that seemed like it would never happen. You wanted to be fully happy, but how could you when everything was so wrong? There was nothing for you to want anymore, only things you wanted. However, that was too much to put on someone who had only known you for a few days.
"My dream was to go to college and major in Chemistry with a minor in Physics. Maybe minor in music as well." You answered "I wanted to figure out a way to put my powers to good use. Solve some unsolvable problem. I wanted to help people."
"Wanted?" Ben asked confused before continuing "Why can't you do it? Is it money? I can pay for you to go."
"That's sweet of you, but-" You began to reply
"But what?" Ben pressed
"Benjamin, the world is ending." You stated matter-of-factly "There's no time for dreams anymore."
No time for dreams? No, there had to still be time. The world hadn't ended yet. There had to be a way for him to fix this. He was Number One of the Sparrow Academy after all. He was born and raised to save the world. There had to be a way he could make your dreams a reality again.
"Isn't there time to stop this?" Ben suggested
"Pfft, to even try we'd need the Sparrows and Umbrellas to work together and that's like trying to mix oil and water and then setting it on fire." You scoffed "At this point, my only hope is that I die in one piece."
"Don't say that." Ben protested "You never know, maybe it'll work out."
You looked at him curiously as you replied intrigued,
"I didn't take you for an optimist,"
"Sometimes we find reasons to be." Ben replied sincerely
Before you could say anything else though your food had arrived. And as you heard your stomach growl once more you knew it was time to eat. But while you and Ben quietly ate your food, Five was struggling not to voice his opinions to his taxi driver.
Even with Five expressing the need for speed on the drive, it still took a good bit of time to get from the hotel to downtown where the bar was. Between the cab driver's insistence on following traffic rules plus all the detours that had to be made to avoid the droves of abandoned cars, what should've been a 20-minute ride at most took closer to an hour. And with each passing minute, Five grew more frustrated. He needed to get to this bar. What if the person he was looking for wasn't there by the time he got there all because of this specific cab driver? Like most other things there wasn't much Five could do but it was still quicker than walking to the place. From a block away, Five could see the glowing lights of the bar sign and headlights. However, instead of continuing to drive, the cab pulled off to the side of the road and parked the car before looking at Five in the rearview mirror.
"This is as far as I'll take ya, kid." The cab driver said, "Those bikers ain't the neighborly types."
"Fair enough." Five replied
Five didn't mind walking the rest of the way, he had already wanted to get out of the cab 20 minutes ago. Pulling out some cash, Five handed over the owed amount for the ride to the driver before opening the door and leaving the car. He watched from the sidewalk as the cab driver quickly turned around a drove off leaving him alone on the street. From down the block, he could hear the sound of revving engines and rowdy shouts. Well, at least he knew for sure he was heading in the right direction. With his hands in his pockets, Five walked away from where he was dropped off and towards his true destination. As he approached the bar, he walked through a crowd of bikers and their motorcycles outside.
"What you doing here, baby?" One woman asked
"You lost?" Another man called out
Five ignored their judgmental glares. He one, was tired and didn't care, and two, had far more important things to worry about than some drunk bikers. Stepping up to the door he passed the painted Mothers of Agony sign in the doorway and entered into the building itself. Walking up a set of stairs he was met with the sight of a stereotypical biker bar. The interior looked like that of a warehouse that just had a bar, chairs, and stripper pole plopped into it. The floors were concrete and covered in dirt and the walls were littered with posters of motorcycles and neon signs. The dim lights and cigarette smoke created a warm haze in the room that was only broken by the spotlight on the pole dancer in the middle. This whole place smelled like a mix of beer and piss and the glares from the patrons did nothing to improve the environment. Those glares however were not intimidating to Five like they probably hoped. He could kill them before they even realized they were dead. At this point, they were just getting in his way. At the far back of the room Five could see a door that said members only, and if anyone was going to help him understand what was going on it wouldn't be one of the brainless drones out here. Making his way through the leather-wrapped crowd, he pushed open the members-only door and headed toward the figure in the center of the room.
"I've been looking for you." Five called out
As the figure turned around though Five's confident demeanor shifted as slight confusion took over. The figure standing before him was Pogo. What was he doing here? Five never got the chance to see if he was around the academy because he and his siblings got their asses handed to them and then thrown out before they could really explore, but he had assumed that Pogo was still there somewhere. This didn't seem like the type of place he would be unless something had happened. He could only wonder what that was though.
"I don't tattoo children." Pogo replied
That wasn't quite true. He did for a certain price and if they had a decent level of respect for the process, but whoever this was Pogo had neither the time nor patience for them. They looked of age to tattoo, but who did they think they were barging in like they owned the place? And what kind of young adult nowadays chose to wear a suit, and especially to to a biker club? Whatever the case was, Pogo didn't want to deal with him.
"Swell, I'm not here for the ink." Five retorted "I'm here because you and I have a mutual friend. Sir Reginald Hargreeves."
Pogo let out a sigh as he turned back around to continue working on the person he was tattooing. He had no care for Sir Reginald Hargreeves and whatever mess that followed him around. He had spent too long caring about that man and he wasn't going to start again now.
"Whatever he wants, I'm not interested." Pogo dismissed
"I don't think you understand. I'm one of his children." Five explained seriously "From another timeline."
Although Five couldn't see it, Pogo's eyes went wide. Another timeline? No. There was no way that this was possible. Regaining his composure, Pogo looked back at Five and chuckled snarkily,
"Another timeline?"
"As crazy as it sounds, you and I have met before. Back in 1963, when you were a diaper-wearing chimp in dire need of a manicure." Five reiterated as he pulled down the collar of his shirt "I don't know if you remember, but I have a scar to prove it."
Pogo looked at the young man before him. If what he was saying was true then wouldn't he be of an advanced age by now? All this gibberish was probably just some twisted scheme to get him back to the academy. But the academy was no longer his home, this is where he belonged now. Giving a slight nod to his friends in the room they began to inch closer to the young man before him. As his friends surrounded the boy on all sides, Pogo looked directly at him.
"If what you're saying is true, I'd be talking to a man well into his sixties." Pogo retorted "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've had a very long day."
Grabbing his things, Pogo turned and walked away. This boy and whatever his deal was weren't his problem. As Pogo walked away though, Five stepped forward calling out,
"Pogo, you need to listen to me."
But before he could get to Pogo, the other men in the room stepped close and surrounded him, stopping him in his path.
"Time to go home to Mommy, lil guy." One of the bikers remarked
Was that supposed to scare him or something? It's not like they could do anything to him. They were just a bunch of drunk bikers, but he was Five Hargreeves. Former superhero, former assassin, time traveler, your boyfriend, Five Hargreeves. Looking back at the guy who spoke to him Five mocked,
"Or what?"
Before any of them could say anything though he had already blinked out of the room and outside to follow Pogo. As he looked around the lot of motorcycles he saw Pogo's figure quickly riding away on one.
"Shit." Five said aloud
Looking around he saw another biker, his motorcycle turned on and ready to ride off. Quickly approaching him, Five shouted,
"Hey, I need your bike. It's an emergency."
However, the man on the motorcycle gave Five a snarky look as he retorted,
"Think you have me confused with someone who gives a shit."
"Give me the bike or else." Five shouted back
But the man did not listen and instead began to ride off down the road. Stand where he was left, Five looked at the biker who had ridden off and quietly said,
"Okay."
This wasn't what he wanted to do, but he needed a ride immediately if he was going to keep up with Pogo. With a running start, Five blinked onto the back of the motorcycle of the guy who had driven away. Placing his hands on the guy's shoulders, Five forced him off the bike before taking control of it himself. Steadying himself he looked around for Pogo and once he had spotted him up ahead he floored it so that he could keep up. As he followed behind Five knew one thing, this was going to be a long, stressful night.
As for you, the night felt quite calm compared to where your day started. The pain and grief of losing all your friends hadn't vanished. In reality, it still hurt a lot, but at least for now, you were distracted. There were only so many days until the world ended and perhaps if you could distract yourself until then, maybe you could at least co-exist with your pain. After you and Ben finished eating, he paid for your meals as you made your way back to the Academy. You and Ben walked down the sidewalk idly chatting with each other, your voices being the only prominent sound in an oddly quiet part of the city. As you ambled back, you playfully bumped into him as you attempted to push him into the empty road. Seeing what you had done, Ben smirked before bumping back into you a little harder toward the building you walked next to. Back and forth you went bumping each other, first just using your bodies but then incorporating your powers for some extra strength. With one tentacle Ben shoved you toward the nearest building and laughed as you phased through the wall to avoid crashing into it. Popping back out of the wall, you looked at him as he continued to laugh and with a flick of your wrist, you sent him stumbling off the sidewalk and into the road. As you watched him struggle to stay on his feet you began to laugh back at him.
But then, you felt the energy of the world changing. It was no longer peaceful and calm, something was growing and quickly. Your gut dropped and your laughter stopped as you looked off toward the Academy just two blocks away. You knew what this feeling was and you knew how this ended. You froze, adrenaline coursing through your system, but fear keeping you paralyzed. Each energy wave was worse than the last. The pain was immense and the injuries you sustained increased each time. Oh god, what if this one took you? You told Five you would come back to him. You couldn't leave him like this. You loved him. All you had wanted was a little time. Why was there never enough time? You wanted to run away or hide or do anything you could to protect yourself but the terror of the unknown immobilized you. All it seemed like you could do was wait for the black hole to burst.
As Ben regained his balance, he noticed that you had stopped laughing. Looking over at you he saw you frozen in place your eyes trained forward down the street. Looking off in the distance he tried to see what it was that caused you to freeze, but there was nothing there. Something wasn't right. He could feel it. Quickly, he rushed over to you and saw the terror in your eyes. He could feel his heart start to beat faster and he asked,
"(Y/N), are you okay?"
Hearing Ben's voice, your eyes finally peeled away from the road ahead to him. As you looked at him you saw the sincerity in his eyes and you heard the genuine concern in his voice. And even through your panic you saw him. You saw Ben. The one who sought you out. The one who paid attention to you. The Ben who cared for you. He may not have been the same Ben, but he was still your Ben. He was your friend. He was the family the rest of Hargreeves couldn't be. If this was going to happen, at least you knew you'd have someone who cared by your side.
"Whatever happens, promise you won't leave me." You quickly stated, a begging-like tone to your voice
Leave you? He wasn't going to leave you. You were different and fun and he liked talking to you. He didn't feel pressured to be anything with you. You were kind, but you called him out in a way that no one else could. He liked having you around. Leaving you would be the last thing he'd want to do.
"I- I don't understand," Ben replied confused
You were running out of time. The wave was coming and it felt powerful. You didn't know if you'd make it through this one and you didn't want to be alone. You were terrified of being alone. You needed a friend. You needed Ben to promise you to stay. Stay like he always had. Grabbing at his shirt, you looked at him desperately as you shouted,
"Promise me, Ben!"
Ben.
He was Ben.
You called him Ben.
He looked at you, and although your face was frightened your eyes were earnest and sincere. He was Ben. He was your Ben. You wanted him to stay with you and he was going to do just that. He was never going to leave and nothing in this world was going to keep him from you.
"I promise." He replied softly
You gave him a weak smile, but it didn't last long as the energy you felt build up finally burst. Your head whipped back as you saw the giant wave of energy rushing toward you. Your only hope was that the pain would be over quickly. Closer and closer it came, causing you to feel sick even before it hit, and then just like that, it tore through your system. You felt an unbearable ripping sensation spread through your body, like blades cutting you from the inside and out. As you felt your body giving out from under you, you thought of Five one more time before everything went black.
It was as if the world moved in slow motion as Ben watched you go from standing with him holding onto his shirt to letting go and falling to the ground. He tried to reach out to catch you but he wasn't quick enough. Immediately, he dropped to his knees on the ground next to you and gently shook your shoulders as he called out,
"(Y/N)?"
But you didn't respond. You didn't even move. His heart began to race as he looked over you. All your wounds that were practically healed were now reopened and spilling out blood, and on top of it, there were new, worse wounds as well. You looked pale and when he reached out to check your pulse, he found one but it certainly wasn't strong. Oh god. No. NO! He couldn't lose you. He had just started getting to know you. Just started getting to be around you. You had only moments ago called him by his name. He promised he would stay with you, but he couldn't just let you go. He had to save you. Quickly, he scooped you up in his arms and ran down the blocks toward the Academy. There you could get the treatment you needed. As he made it to the Academy he practically kicked down the door to get in and as he stood in the foyer, with urgency in his tone, he shouted,
"HELP! HELP!"
Quickly, Luther and Sloane ran from the parlor into the foyer where Ben stood. The two of them looked at him and saw the urgency in his eyes before noticing what was making him so panicked. There in his arms was you, limp, pale, and bloodied. It was an awful sight to see you in such a condition.
"Oh my god!" Sloane exclaimed, "What happened?!"
"I don't know!" Ben replied, pained unease in his tone
Luther knew what had happened though. It had to have been the same thing that happened earlier today. Nothing else could tear you apart like a strong molecular disturbance and the Kugelblitz was the only thing capable of doing so as of late.
"It must've been another kugelwave." Luther explained "Because of her powers it tears her apart. I saw it happen earlier today."
Ben looked at Luther before looking back at you. That's right, you had mentioned when he found you in the warehouse that the black hole was tearing you apart, and down in the basement you had made the comment of being in immense pain when the black hole explodes. He felt stupid for not realizing what had happened and even stupider for letting one of the people who caused the blackhole point out what was wrong. But as stupid as he felt that didn't matter right now, what mattered was getting you the help you needed. Ben scowled at Luther before turning his attention to Sloane.
"I'm bringing her up to the med bay." Ben stated before commanding "Go find Grace."
But Sloane didn't move. She couldn't as she stared at your unconscious form. You might not have been dead, but you certainly looked it and it hurt her to see you in such a way. No one had been as nice to her in her entire life as you had been in the few moments you were with her. She didn't know if she could call her siblings friends, a lot of times it felt like they were just coworkers, but you were the first person she felt was actually her friend. She couldn't help, but gently reach a hand out toward you, but Ben took a step back and held you closer to him. Looking up at her brother she could see a mix of anger and fear on his face. She had never seen him look like this before.
"SLOANE, GO FIND GRACE!" Ben shouted "NOW!"
"Uh- right- okay!" Sloane stuttered before running off with Luther in tow
With Sloane and Luther attempting to find Grace, Ben rushed up the stairs of the Academy and toward the med bay next to the kitchen. Gently, he placed you down on the bed in there as he waited for Sloane to arrive. What was only a few moments felt like forever as Sloane finally appeared with Grace. Giving a curt nod to Sloane, he turned to look at Grace, her cultish look and missing eye weren't an appealing sight for someone he was hoping to take care of you, but she was the best resource to help. It's not like he could take you to the hospital. At this point there probably wasn't enough staff and surely they would ask questions he wouldn't be able to answer.
"You need to help her. Immediately." Ben commanded
"Of course." Grace replied, her tone cheery but flat "Please leave the room so I can have space to work."
No. He wasn't going to leave. You had asked him to stay with you and he was going to do so no matter what.
"What? No. I want to stay here." Ben complained
"C'mon Ben, look at her, you need to let Grace work or she's going to get worse." Sloane mentioned before offering "If you want we can keep the door open."
He didn't want to leave the room, but Sloane was right. You were looking worse by the second, and you needed help now. At least if the door was open, he could watch Grace to make sure she did her job and nothing else. No matter how much he hated it, it was the best option for now and so he relented,
"Fine."
He gestured for Sloane and Luther to leave the room and once they did so he followed them out making sure to leave the door wide open. While Luther took a seat at the kitchen table, and Sloane started making a pot of coffee, Ben went back and forth between pacing the kitchen and standing in the doorframe of the med bay to watch Grace work. Five minutes became ten, and ten became thirty, and with each passing minute Ben worried more about if you were okay. Surely if it was nothing serious Grace would've been done by now, right? He could see her taking care of you, cleaning your wounds, stitching up gashes, giving you IV fluids, but why was it taking so long? He paced around faster, his head turning to look into the doorway every time he passed by.
As he aggressively paced, Luther and Sloane sat together at the kitchen table just watching Ben. Sloane had never seen him act this way before. She recalled times when he was more vulnerable as children, but his exterior grew harder as he got older, especially after the incident when he was 17. It had been a very long time since she had seen him so concerned about someone other than himself. Perhaps you had found a way to get through to him like no one else could. You certainly were the nicest person the Sparrows had encountered, besides her sweetie pie of a boyfriend of course.
Luther however wasn't as surprised at Ben's reaction. You and Ben had always been close. The relationship between you two wasn't the same as between you and Five of course, but if there was anyone in the family you trusted as much as Five, it was Ben. When Five was busy doing solo training with Reginald, it was always Ben who sought you out. When Ben, unfortunately, fell to the wayside of their father's favor because he didn't like using his powers, you always noticed and stuck up for him. Whenever you spoke, Ben was always intently listening to every word you said. When others didn't have the time to spare to be with him and his literature discussions you always showed up for him. It didn't matter what timeline or what Ben it was, that care, connection, and concern were still there.
The three of them were quiet as they waited for Grace to finish with you, the only sounds being Ben's pacing and the sipping of coffee. But after what felt like forever, Grace finally stepped out of the med bay and into the kitchen. Some blood covered her clothing and her face was relatively expressionless as she looked at the group.
"Is she going to be okay?" Ben immediately questioned
"She is unconscious, but she is stable." Grace explained, "She needs rest but given her current vitals her chances of waking up in the next 12 hours are extremely likely."
The three Hargreeves all sighed a breath of relief as they heard that you'd be okay, but once Grace was out of the way Ben went quickly back into the room and stood by your side. Your wounds were closed and bandaged, there was more color in your face, and minus the stains on your clothing, all the blood you bled was cleaned up. You were injured, but you were okay. Without leaving your side Ben used one of his tentacles to grab a chair from the kitchen table. Bringing it back into the room he placed it behind him before quietly sitting down next to your bedside. Gently, he took one of your hands in his, holding it just as gently as you held his before. He kept his eyes on you, but in his peripheral, he could see as Sloane and Luther entered the room.
"I'm going to stay with her until she wakes up." Ben stated
"Grace said she's going to be okay." Sloane replied, "You don't have to stay."
Yes he did. He did have to stay. He promised you he would and he wasn't going to break that promise. You were terrified when you had passed out. You needed someone to be there for you when you woke to tell you that you were safe.
"I'm not leaving her." Ben stated
"Ben, it's late. I think you should get some rest." Sloane explained
"I said I'm not leaving!" He snapped
Sloane and Luther looked at each other shocked at his outburst, but since it seemed like there was no convincing him to go, it was best just to let him stay.
"Okay..." Sloane quietly said, "Well, Luther and I are heading to bed."
"Then go." Ben remarked, waving them off
Taking Sloane's hand, Luther began to walk the two of them out of the room to leave Ben be, but as they began to head out Sloane whispered,
"What's gotten into him? I've never seen him like this before."
"I don't know, but it's not for us to figure out." Luther whispered back
Ben's eyes darted over to the doorway as he watched the two of them leave. They may have thought they were quiet enough, but Ben heard them. And while Luther and Sloane may not have known what had gotten into Ben, he sure did. All throughout the day it became more and more obvious to him why he was acting the way he was and there was no amount of forced obliviousness or emotional redirection that could deny what he knew now.
He loved you.
He was truly, madly, deeply, undeniably in love with you. It wasn't until he experienced the very real possibility of losing you that it all finally clicked. Ever since he met you, you had consumed his thoughts. When you walked in the room he couldn't think straight and when you looked at him you made his stomach do flips. When you spoke he was completely enthralled and when you touched him, he felt electrified. You were smart and talented and caring and gentle and beautiful. For the first time in a very long time, when he was with you, he didn't feel like Number Two, or Number One, he just felt like Ben. You made him feel this way, and he never wanted to let this feeling go. He looked at you softly, a smile coming to his face as he quietly said,
"I'm not leaving you."
Carefully, he brought your hand, which he held closer to him, and placed a gentle kiss on top of it.
"I promise."
#the umbrella academy#tua#umbrella academy#five x reader#five hargreeves x reader#tua five hargreeves#five hargreeves
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Around the World Part 7
I know I said that Nanny would be out this week, but I just finished this and am really wanting to get it out as soon as possible and that includes the epilogue.
But if I time it right, this series and Hellfire will end the same week and I'll be able to return to some kind of normal schedule instead of pumping these out on a fucking grinder.
That said, I probably won't do a Christmas story with the way things are right now. But we'll see the closer we get to the holiday.
In this we get the proper Jack the Ripper tour and the author has opinions, okay! Steve draws attention to himself at the Paris Opera house. Murray is a bit too knowing. And of course as @val-from-lawrence guessed, visited the Catacombs!
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6
~
They had done the Tower of London and St. Paul’s Cathedral during the day and got ready for the Bauman Experience as Murray called it. They all had a flashlight and went to go meet him where they had the night before.
They caught him dealing with some obnoxious tourists.
“Oh thank god!” the Karen cried. “An American. Could you please explain to this woman that we only have dollars to pay with. She has to take it!”
Murray blinked at her for a moment. “Well that is quite the cock up, you absolute muppet. Are you dead from the neck up? British pound sterling is the brass here, you silly cow!”
The woman’s head reared back in shock, clutching her chest. “I beg your pardon!”
“To make it perfectly clear,” Murray said leaning forward into her space. “You fucked up, you moron. Are you really that stupid? Dollars aren’t the currency here, the British pound is. Just like you can’t use the pound anywhere but here, you can’t use the dollar anywhere but America so why don’t you go to an ATM or bank and get it exchanged. Or and here’s the really neat part about living in the age of technology, use or credit or debit card and your bank does the conversion for you.”
When she started sputtering angrily, Murray waved her off. “Now, shoo! I’ve got actual paying customers waiting for me.”
Murray turned to the four of them with a smiled. “Well, hello! Welcome. Now that things are dark and therefore sufficiently spooky, let’s take you on a proper tour of Jack’s slaying grounds.”
He went through the different murders until he got to the double murders of Elizabeth Stride and Catherine Eddowes.
“Now,” he said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, “Miss Stride is usually considered his third victim and that he was interrupted, moving on to Miss Eddowes. But I think Stride was a copycat. The person only knew the bodies were mutilated, but not how. So for me, I don’t count her in the confirmed kills.”
Robin nodded sagely. “I don’t either. There was far too little evidence to prove he had been frightened off, because otherwise Eddowes would have been more brutal than it was. He would have been angry he couldn’t finish with Stride. You would have expected her to look like what Mary Kelly’s body looked like, not cool and calm.”
Murray smiled up at her. He turned to Eddie. “I really like her. She’s clever.”
Robin blushed and ducked her head.
A short time later, just as they were wrapping up the Kelly murder, Murray stopped. He looked at a pair of older teenagers and then back at the group.
Chrissy picked up on it first. “You thinking what, I’m thinking, Mur?”
Murray turned to her and cocked his head to the side, considering. He nodded and Chrissy pursed her lips.
Steve caught on just as quick. “Eds, baby. I think those boys may have guessed who you are, love.”
Robin and Eddie shared a concerned glance.
“Fuck,” Eddie huffed. “I liked this jacket.”
Robin grabbed it from him and gave him her jacket. “Mine doesn’t look as fancy,” she explained pulling his jacket on. “Just like Boston, peeps!”
Murray tilted his head to the side and did a quick Google search. “Or... if you’d like, my car is literally around the corner.”
The four of them stopped swapping clothes and looked up at him.
“That’s easier,” Steve said. “Who’s all for easier?”
The other three raised their hands and they followed Murray to his car. Robin sat up front while Steve and Chrissy covered Eddie between them.
“Drop me off at the hotel,” Steve said, tapping on Murray’s shoulder. “I’ll check us out and then meet you at Shakespeare’s Head.”
Murray looked behind him and grinned. “Smart thinking.”
~
Eddie had changed into a trucker hat and a puffy hunting vest over sturdy blue jeans and thick work boots.
“Kids and their cameras these day,” Murray huffed, sliding a pint of beer over at Steve as he sat down between Robin and Chrissy. “So what’s the story with loverboy here?” he asked Eddie, cocking his head to indicate Steve.
“He’s not out,” Eddie said dryly. “His parents are complete assholes who could and would make things very difficult for him if he was.”
“Nothing says asshole parents,” Murray said with a nod, “quite like those that have the money to make you miserable.”
Steve snorted. “You’ve got that right. But I’m more than equipped to make it work.” He half shrugged. “I’ve been doing it for almost a year.”
Murray’s went wide and he gave an opened mouthed smile. “Have you really? I would have never guessed. Good job! ”
“How did you spot the kids, by the way?” Robin asked around her fruity cocktail.
“Oh,” Murray said, ducking his head a bit. “You’re walking around a small group of people at night in a bad area of London. Whitechapel isn’t as bad as it was in Jackie’s time, but it’s still not a good neighborhood. You have to keep an eye out for people, but especially older teens wishing to knock you over for a bit of loose change.”
Steve cleared his throat and ducked his head. “I am about to ask the most bougie question imaginable. And you can tell me to go to hell if I’m out of line here.”
Murray’s eyebrows went up and he leaned back in his chair. “Wha’cha got, kid?”
Steve licked his lower lip as he tried to word this in a way that wasn’t instantly offensive. “How entrenched are you in this job?”
“Not very,” he replied with a shrug. “I’m just moving through the world enjoying myself and taking jobs that would be fun. I’ve got more than enough money. Why?”
“We were talking in our group chat,” Chrissy explained taking over from a very embarrassed Steve, “and we thought we’d offer you a job as main look out and part time driver for when we’re in Europe. You really saved Eddie today and we could really use someone like you with us.”
Murray glared at her. “You sure I wouldn’t cramp your little foursome you’ve got going on here’s style?” He made a little circling motion with his hand to indicate all of them.
Robin shook her head. “It’ll make it harder for people to recognize a quartet if it suddenly became a quintet. Plus, we’d pay for your room and board. None of us are skint, believe you me.”
“We’ll be staying in haunted hotels, motels, and bed and breakfasts,” Eddie added. “But we won’t force you to join us. We can put you up in a nice place nearby and we join back up whenever we go out.”
Murray eyed them suspiciously until Steve slid over an envelope. He picked it up and pulled out a check. His eyes went wide. “That’s quite the pretty penny.”
“That’s half,” Robin huffed, crossing her arms and throwing herself against the back of the chair. “You’ll get the other half once we leave Europe for Asia.”
“All that for a month’s worth of driving you four around and making sure fans and paparazzi don’t find Eddie here?” Murray asked. “Have you gone crazy?”
Eddie shook his head. “We just want a romantic tour of the spooky places of Europe. I hate the thought Steve getting caught up in something just because I’m recognized everywhere I go and he isn’t.”
Murray licked his lips slowly as his eyes narrowed. “That’s not how that’s usually said.”
Steve frowned and tilted his head to the side. “What do you mean? How is what said?”
Robin put her hand on his elbow as he bristled slightly at his tone.
“Usually people will say ‘famous and they’re not’,” Murray said thoughtfully, “he said ‘recognized’. Meaning Stevie here is famous too, but not in a way people would recognize him on the street. What is a famous painter or some shit?”
She cocked her to the side and said dryly, “If I told you that, I’d have to kill you.”
Murray laughed. Just full on cackled. “Have I mentioned how much I like her? Because I really like her.”
Eddie leaned forward to put his elbows on the table. “So what do you say, Murray?” he asked tilting his head to the side. “You want to work for me again?”
Murray slipped the check into his coat pocket and stuck out his hand. “I think you’ve got yourself a deal.”
~
Their first stop on the Continent was Paris and the catacombs. Eddie was still trying to figure out how Robin did that one. It had been closed to the public for years.
Robin just smirked and said, “Well we aren’t the public.”
Steve was also sure they didn’t open it up to anyone who opened their wallet, either, but wisely stayed silent. Plus he was having fun watching Chrissy and Robin run circles around Murray in terms of sheer knowledge.
“Um...Stevie?” Eddie murmured so the trio couldn’t hear him. “Can I hold your hand? It’s getting a little creepy in here.”
Steve held out his hand, the one that had the little guitar on the inner wrist. Eddie looked down at the offered hand with a fond smile. He took the offered hand and their tattoos matched up. Eddie felt braver with every step knowing that Steve would always be there to hold his hand through the darkness.
Chrissy looked back at them and grinned at their clasped hands. She sped up her walk just a little, forcing Murray and Robin to speed up to match her pace, leaving the two love birds the privacy they so richly deserved.
Once they were out in the sunlight and among the city once again, Eddie refused to let go of Steve’s hand.
Steve looked at their joined hands and then back at Eddie. Eddie gave him his brightest smile and Steve was smitten. Even more so than before. He just loved him so much.
They toured the Paris Opera house and Eddie pulled out a cape and mask.
“Sing for me my angel of music!” he said to Chrissy.
She burst out laughing. “My name may be Christine, but I really don’t think they’d want me shattering the glass.”
Eddie turned to Robin who waved her arms in front of her. “No way! I sing like a frog in heat!”
“No.” Was all Murray said.
Steve raised an eyebrow and Eddie grinned.
“Sing!” Eddie crowed.
Steve took a deep breath and belted out that high note, held it perfectly and then took a bow.
Murray blinked and slow smile spread over his features. “You’re in one of those bands with the masks aren’t you? Like Sleep Token or The Fallen, huh? That’s Eddie here said recognized and not famous. Good on you.”
They all shared looks of concern.
“I’m not going to tell anyone,” Murray huffed, holding up his hands in surrender. “And I’m certainly not even going to try and guess which band it is.” He pulled out his phone and messed around on it for a while.
During which they all watched with ever increasing dread. The silence seemed to stretch out on and on.
Then Chrissy’s phone pinged. Everyone jumped as she scrambled for her phone. She opened it up and blinked a moment.
“You signed a blanket statement NDA?” she asked handing her phone to Robin. “Why?”
Murray licked his lips and crossed his arms over his chest. “Did it suck when Corroded Coffin pulled out of my management causing a shit ton of other people pulling out, too? Sure. But that’s the nature of the business. One that I had been in for over twenty years. I took it as a sign from the universe to retire and enjoy my life. Unlike the CC boys pulling out on Nancy Wheeler because she about to do some pretty shady shit. And I say that having been part of a business that used to be built on shady ass shit.”
Chrissy coughed and looked away to hide her smile.
“I’m guessing Steve’s band is why Corroded Coffin went nuclear on her in the first place?”
Steve looked over at Eddie and then nodded. “She was an ex-girlfriend and she tried to hold that over my head to get me to work with her.”
Murray let out a long and low whistle. “Shady doesn’t even begin to cover that shit. The void would be fucking closer. Shit.”
Robin handed back Chrissy her phone. “How did you get an NDA that fast anyway?”
“Oh that?” Murray asked with a huff of laughter. “I have a bunch of basic contracts and shit in my Google docs. Things can move fast in this business and it’s a good idea to keep a few on hand. Back in the old days we kept them in our briefcases that we carted around. This is sooo much easier.”
“Smart.”
Murray grinned back at her. He turned to Steve. “Come on, show us what that classical vocal training can really do.”
Steve blushed and began warming up his vocals as Robin grinned.
“You may think you’ve heard Steve sing,” she crowed, “but you’ve ain’t seen nothing yet.”
Then Steve really opened up and began to sing. There was a deepness to his voice that didn’t have anything to do with his range. He was clearly a tenor, but the rich quality to his voice just elevated it somehow.
“Rigoletto,” Murray said nodding appreciatively. “Well done.” He clapped slowly, but it wasn’t mocking. “Your parents must have been livid when you didn’t go into opera.”
Steve snorted. “About as angry as when they found out I was bisexual. They know what I am but if I go public with it...”
“They’ll make your life a nightmare?” he asked. Steve nodded. “I feel for you, kid.”
He looked around and grimaced. “I thick it’s time we make like Opera Ghost and scram. That performance of Steve’s here, is getting more attention than I thought it would.”
They looked around and sure enough there were people pointing at Steve.
“I’m not sure what the Venn diagram of opera and metal fans,” Chrissy said, “but I’m betting it’s not two separate circles.”
“Yeaahhh,” Eddie said with a wince.
He grabbed Steve’s hand and they ran for the doors. Murray and the girls hot on their heels.
~
Part 8 Part 9
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4- @yikes-a-bee @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten
5- @genderless-spoon @y4r3luv @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt
6- @disrespectedgoatman @dawners @thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95 @garden-of-gay
7- @iamthehybrid @croatoan-like-its-hot @papergrenade @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars
8- @ravenfrog @w1ll0wtr33 @child-of-cthulhu @kultiras @dreamercec
9- @machete-inventory-manager @useless-nb-bisexual @stripey82 @dotdot-wierdlife @kal-ology
10- @sadisticaltarts @urkadop @chameleonhair @clockworkballerina
#my writing#stranger things#steddie#ladykailtiha writes#rockstar au#rockstar steve harrington#rockstar eddie munson
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Now that the writers and actors strike is about to begin being felt (and as we wait for those greedy billion dollar companies who are refusing to negotiate fair pay and conditions to give up) here's 10 of my favorite (all around best) fully finished older series you should definitely check out if you haven't watched.
I mean it, these are the shows with continuously great writing and a satisfying endings that manage to actually deliver on their promises.
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1. Leverage - (containing 5 seasons, or 77 episodes) - trailer here.
Hitter, Hacker, Grifter, Thief and Mastermind. Heists and cons. Stealing from the rich and giving to their victims. They provide... leverage.
Meant for anyone who enjoys bad guys being the best good guys, who will burn down the lives of evil CEOs and then gloat in the background. Very satisfying.
Hands down the best example of a found family trope I've ever seen on screen. Barring none.
2. Killjoys - (containing 5 seasons, or 50 episodes) - trailer here.
Space Bounty Hunters. Another case of found family trope. Bisexual space princess assassin. Quippy sentient ship. Green alien goo. Evil lesbians (but like... in a good way). The warrant is all.
More seriously though, it's a story about three killjoys and the bounties they go after. Initially. And then they have to save the entire Quad from some very terrifying... stuff.
Contains one of the best friendships I've ever seen on television.
3. Orphan Black - (containing 5 seasons, or 50 episodes) - trailer here.
Found family trope but with clones.
Low level grifter sees a woman who looks exactly like her kill herself and plans to take over her identity long enough to cash out. Except then there's two other women who also look exactly like her. And apparently they're all clones and someone's killing them.
Enter a global conspiracy. Human experimentation. Lots of clone shenanigans. Some serial killings. And a few murders 💖.
4. Person of Interest - (containing 5 seasons, or 103 episodes) - trailer here.
Okay I'm beginning to see how I might have a found family trope issue.
Former CIA agent gets recruited by a reclusive billionaire computer programmer who developed a... machine that can predict acts of terror before they happen. But it also predicts 'irrelevant' acts of violence that will result in someone's death.
Unless someone interferes.
I'd really like to spoil some stuff to get you all to watch this one. But I'm going to maintain self control and just mention that early on they get a dog named Bear. Bear is a very good boy. Watch it for Bear.
Also for excellent commentary on rights of privacy, government surveillance and what does 'greater good' even mean? But mostly Bear.
5. 12 Monkeys - (containing 4 seasons, or 47 episodes) - trailer here.
The very best time travel show out there. What starts out as a confusing mess of causality basically exploding, by the end of the series all makes complete and total sense.
(when that final timey-whimey loop slid into place and revealed the entire pattern it was like a choir of angels started singing in the back of my head. It was freaking glorious).
Anyway, a man from a post apocalyptic future travels into the past to stop a plague from decimating nearly the entire world population.
He has the name of the man who released the virus and it's supposed to be a single trip. One trip. One bullet. Simple. Done.
Except then things keep escalating, and escalating until time begins eating its own tail and it might start looking like the end of the world might be a better ending than erasing all of time and space from reality.
Because when our guys screw it up, they screw it up GOOD.
And oh yeah... found family.
6. The Good Place - (containing 4 seasons, or 53 episodes) - trailer here.
A self-proclaimed Arizona dirtbag opens her eyes and finds out that she's dead and got accepted in the Good Place. Except that as soon as she arrives the Good Place starts glitching, and she really, REALLY needs to become a better person before she can be found out and kicked out to the Bad Place.
Luckily her assigned soulmate was a professor of ethics and moral philosophy.
One of the funniest, most thoughtful and clever comedies I've ever watched. Ever. The characters are delightful and by the time the final minute rolled around I had sobbed my heart out multiple times (which, as we all know, is a sign of the very best comedies out there).
As for the question of whether or not this too contains Found Fami- Yes! Obviously, yes.
7. Avatar: the Last Airbender - (containing 3 seasons, or 61 episodes) - intro here (couldn't locate the trailer but it's basically the same thing in this case).
The four nations lived in harmony. Until the Fire Nation attacked.
It's been a hundred years since the beginning of the war when two kids from the Southern Water Tribe find a boy frozen in ice and wake him up. A boy who's able to bend all four elements... though not very well.
Enter multi-nation flying road trip (thank you Appa, we love you most of all) as they try to find teachers for the Avatar and save the world.
Includes found family (shut up), amazing fight scenes, the most heartfelt and vivid characters ever, and the best example of a redemption arc actually done well.
8. Love Between Fairy and Devil - (containing 1 season, or 36 episodes) - trailer here.
This one gutted me. I'm saying this as a compliment. But it had to be said. Completely destroyed me. I just haven't been the same.
A love story between an Orchid Fairy and the leader of the Moon Tribe that starts out with her accidentally releasing him from millennia long imprisonment and then takes you through the caleidoscope of all possible human emotions (it's a body-swap comedy through the first part, then a romcom, then a dramatic romantic tale, and finally a tragic love story).
But it's such a satisfying slow burn.
And it carries this... humanity through the whole thing that makes it so visceral.
If you're a romantic who's very tired of instalove and characters dropping all their morals because 'ooh, attractive person' then you've got to watch this. Because this story does NOT take the easy road there.
(my more extensive rec for this series can be found here)
9. Star Wars: The Clone Wars - (containing 7 seasons, or 133 episodes) - fanmade trailer here (it was better than any of the official ones).
This series did so much. Introduced Ahsoka Tano, and made us love her. Gave names and faces and souls to the Clone Troopers (okay, it's the same face but you know what I mean), to a point where their endings during Order 66 destroyed me just as much as the ending of the Jedi Order. And somehow made me both love Anakin AND be a million times more angry with him.
There are some arcs in this series that might be a bit weaker. But there were some... god, there's a reason I love Clone Wars more than any other series or trilogy in this universe. And I'm not even a little ashamed to say it.
Must watch for Disaster Lineage shenanigans; for the vod'e; AND for the Jedi (who did their best okay? They always did their best 😭💔).
(and on the subject of found family... do I even need to comment)
10. Nikita - (containing 4 seasons, or 73 episodes) - trailer here.
A rogue assassin that escaped Division - covert government agency that takes recruits out of prison, fakes their deaths and then forces them to become spies and assassins - has come back to take it down. Brick by brick if she has to. With guns and explosives too when that works better.
Contains soooo many cool fight scenes. Is full of incredible characters you'll fall in love with (and hate with) very quickly. And most of all has an incredibly complex relationship of mentorship and friendship between two women that holds both great admiration and betrayal, real care and love as well as rage and hatred, forgiveness, mutual respect and an unbreakable kind of bond that so very rarely involves even one female character on TV, let alone two.
(as usual, found family tropes up the wazzoo).
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In conclusion. We all know there's going to be a large space between seasons of our favorite shows now (and some shows that aren't going to survive it). Let's fill that space with some excellent TV we haven't had a chance to see yet.
And direct the blame for the wait towards the right place (i.e. the studios).
#leverage#killjoys#orphan black#person of interest#12 monkeys#the good place#avatar the last airbender#love between fairy and devil#the clone wars#star wars#clone wars#lbfad#atla#nikita#terapsina rambles#terapsina's tv rambles#tv recommendations#tv recs#tv rec#long post#sag aftra#it's possible i wrote out this whole thing just to talk myself into doing some rewatches#it seems to be working if yes#terapsina's leverage rambles#terapsina's killjoys rambles#terapsina's poi rambles#terapsina's the good place rambles#terapsina's atla rambles#terapsina's lbfad rambles
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just finished the 2.2 quest (spoilers)
WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN ANYTHING THAT HAD ME SCREAMING THE ENTIRE TIME WHY WAS IT 8 HOURS LONG I GOT ABSOLUTELY SUCKED INTO THAT FUCKING GAME WHAT THE HELL
anyways. so.
1. firefly. top priority. where the fuck is she. she said she was supposed to die 3 times, according to elios script. the first one was the meme stabbing her, and the second was supposedly her waking up from the dream. acheron said that she could only do that by undergoing a "true death" but like. she cant be dead because of the third death shes supposed to go through, right?? and anothrr thing, she said that if the trailblazer successfully whooped sundays ass, then her third death wouldnt come in its "worst form" or something like that. but now that people have supposedly awoken from the dream, hows she gonna die a third time? in the real world?
2. ROBIN HUGGING SUNDAY WHILE HE FELL FROM THE MECH THING HHHNNGGGGGHHHHH THAT WAS SO PRECIOUS IM CRYING
3. WHAT HAPPENED TO ACHERON. RAIDEN MEI??? HELLO?????
4. i love the adventures of space cowboy and gay tech bro (boothill and dan heng)
5. sunday religious symbolism?? gonna make a whole other post about that later
#hsr#honkai star rail#sunday#sunday hsr#robin#robin hsr#firefly#firefly hsr#sam hsr#star rail#penacony#penacony 2.2#hsr 2.2#hsr spoilers#penacony spoilers#stelle#caelus#dan heng#boothill#acheron
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New Dimension, Who's This?
honestly writing this cuz I saw @gin2212 's comment and made me teary, so were gunna finish this bad boy! not today but you know... it will happen
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, part 5, part 6
Explicit mentions of death (but of characters that are currently living) Kind of OG version of their deaths
Danny had only walked through the Wayne’s home adjacent gardens once, in a direct route to the barn. Batcow was a highlight of that little excersion.
Now, however, they were actually looking at the shrubbery shaped like boring spheres and rectangles.
He felt Jason become distant and floated back a bit, he’d turned left into a very small opening.
Inside were three unmovable cement benches that curved slightly into one circle. The well cut bushes were wilder in here, making it cramped and impossible to see over the hedge.
“This spot used to be my favorite, when the weather was nice. I’d come out here with a book and whatever drink Alfred had decided to make that day.” Jason looked down at a square of cement in the middle, probably where a table had been. The indents on the side of the seats, likely from the mold it was made from, had moss growing in it.
“This seems like the perfect hideout.” Danny smiled and sat on the bench opposite Jason.
Jason hummed in agreement, he coughed awkwardly even for Danny’s standards and spoke up again. “So, you’re the god of death?” Jason was probably really good at looking casual and intimidating to most people, but Danny could sense the tension emanating from his core as he sat near a branch mere inches from his face with his hands in his pockets, probably wishing he could lean against something to look nonchalant.
“Nope, I’m the king of the dead. They aren’t the same thing.”
“So, you’re not Hades?”
“I hope not, I’ve met him and he’s kind of a dick.”
Jason laughed softly, he liked how it sounded “Okay, cool, so the Greek gods exist.”
“All of the gods do, technically.” He waited for Jason to look at him. “I know it’s hard to wrap your head around, but the infinite realms isn’t really a dimension on its own. It’s the space between all dimensions. When you die you have to pass through it to get to your destination. Some people don’t have a place and they end up part of my realm, some get lost, some sell their soul, others forget their lives entirely and are part of my people from the second they pass over. Then there are the never-borns: souls that form from pure will of the infinite realms. All that is part of my domain.” Danny floated up a bit to try and catch a glimpse of the stars, the smog from Gotham blocking everything. He looked back at Jason and his stomach did a little flip that he decidedly did nothing about. “But just so were clear; hell, the underworld, and all those other things are in the infinite zone. They aren’t all the same thing.”
“Okay. So, you rule over those too?”
“Again no, once a soul gets into the correct dimension, I don’t really have anything to do with it.”
“Wait so if someone who believes in an afterlife sells their soul what happens?”
Danny slouched in the air and grunts, “That’s where all the fucking paperwork comes in. I really want you to imagine the most bureaucratic way to possibly move to a new country, but you have none of your documents. Being stuck in this dimension was a fun break at first, but now all I can think of are the stacks of A-13 forms that are probably covering the castle floors.”
Jason shifted and with it came a wave of uncertainty. “If someone was killed and brought back, what then?”
Danny has seen how ghosts in the zone get when they talk about their deaths. For many it’s all they remember of their life. If a ghost with years to think it through reacts explosively he’s not sure how it will go with a newbie. “Well, a few things. The soul could come back to a place without a body in which case you have a true haunting. If the death was quick, it could have flash formed a core, that’s like a soul that has died fully, and then shoved back into the living body. That’s how you get halfas like me.”
Jason still looked cool and collected on the outside but there was unbelievable turmoil seeping out of him. “What if the body was dead for a while? What if a soul or core was shoved back into a body on purpose?”
“I’ve only seen one revival before, but there was a lot of time warping there. The necromancers I’ve met who were trying to bring someone back didn’t have access to ectoplasm which had results that are very different to… having it.” Danny breathed out to calm himself, letting that calm wave wash over Jason as well. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s alright.” Jason shuffled his leather jacket, “You call it ectoplasm.”
“Yeah.” Danny answered with a lilt in his voice.
“The green goop filled pools you said you emptied, you mentioned they were corrupted.”
“I did yeah.”
“What would happen if someone was exposed to that?”
“Honestly, it’s not the first time I’ve come across it but never that much. For ghosts it can leave them sick and weak for days. Not like polluted water, more like if you switched out the water a healthy person drank for soda exclusively. It won’t kill them, but it will have a negative effect.” Danny thought for a second and remembered the one-time Sam got covered in a mix of good and contaminated ecto during a fight with Undergrowth. “I saw how a diluted version of it affected a living person, her mind was warped and she had the same sort of tunnel vision a ghost has if they have a particularly strong obsession.”
Jason took a breath, he’d been going strong so far. Danny may come to regret this, but he put a hand on his shoulder and floated where they’d be face to face, letting his bottom half fade away into the ghostly tail. “I won’t do it if you don’t want me to, but I can subdue your emotions a bit if you want to talk about it.” Jason looked up quickly and Danny scrambled to correct himself. “I haven’t been doing that! Well, like not in a controlling way, more like the ghost version of calming down a friend who’s freaking out. If you pushed past it I wouldn’t hold you back.”
“You should.” Danny couldn’t help the questioning noise that came out of him, “The first year I came back, I don’t remember it well, but I tried to kill Tim… and possibly Damian. If I do go too far hold me back.”
Danny nodded, “Back in the hall, when Tim was taking an unorthodox amount of coffee cups out of his room,” Jason snorted a bit and smiled, “you didn’t fight me stopping your emotions from bubbling over. I think, with even a little help, you do in fact make the right decisions.”
Jason’s hand came up to hold on to Danny’s forearm, “I went out to stop the top villain at the time, the Joker. I really did think I could beat him so I turned off my coms. He… He beat me to an inch of my life and left me to die in the explosion he’d rigged up.” Jason’s body was hot to the touch and he was obviously timing his breaths. “I can still feel the damn crowbar he used whenever I fall asleep. Batman had never been late before; he’d never let something like that go past him. My plan B was him, and he didn’t make it.”
Danny hummed. A benefit of their shared ghostliness in needing not to use his words, he pushed through waves of camaraderie and understanding.
“I had dug myself out of my own grave. I don’t remember much other than pain for months. Then Talia, Damian’s genetic mother, threw me into a Lazarus pit. The first thing I remember seeing was looking up at her terrified face, tinted in green.”
There was anger as he spoke her name, Danny controlled the waves of corrupted ecto that were threating to turn those emotions against Jason’s true wishes.
“I was fifteen, how does someone let a child do that. I was a kid!” Jason’s emotions were switching around and Danny could hear the forming core start too fuss. “I was just a kid.”
Danny came closer and wrapped all four of his arms around Jason, squeezing him just enough to feel a weight on him, but not so much it was restrictive.
Jason still seemed tense so, Danny did the only thing he could think of, he talked of his own death.
“My parents built the first ever physical portal to the realms. I was messing around with friends and they dared me to walk into the useless frame. My parents always had a tendency of forgetting lab safety and making just one mistake in every build. I’m not sure how they managed to put the on button inside it, but I tripped, hitting it on my way down. I could feel every bolt of electricity ripping me apart as the link between worlds opened directly on top of me. I died separate to my body and ended up like this.” Danny moved back and looked down at himself without letting go of Jason. “I tried to tell my parents at first, but they were always busy.
They spent the day I finally gave up trying to trap my sister; thinking she was the ghost their devices we’re picking up.”
Jason rested his forehead on Danny’s, sighing against the cold touch. “How old we-“
“Fourteen.”
“We were kids.”
“Yeah,” Danny kept his forehead against Jason’s. Two arms he left at Jason’s shoulders, the other two caressing his arms.
With a wave of confidence and fear Jason grabbed Danny by the waist and pulled him in for a real hug.
They held each other there, hidden amongst the foliage, until it started to drizzle.
“We should-“
Danny cut him off, pulling back to show the tears running down his face. “Can we go to your room?”
“Yeah, come on.”
They didn’t touch on the walk through the garden, or at the entrance, or in the hall. No, it wasn’t until the door was closed behind them that Danny came forward and just barely touched his arm.
Jason grabs him and pulls him in again, this time resting his chin on the top of Danny’s head. The attempt to calm Danny down just as he had for Jason made him start to cry again, this time much happier.
The surge pushed his kingly nature to shift into something more human. His arms went back to only two, his skin became that of a pale human’s (for the most part), his ears shrank down and his pointy teeth rounded out. And, surprisingly, his form gave him pajamas.
The ecto the change required didn’t accept the contaminated ecto that Jason had sent and Danny sagged into Jason, his knees buckling.
“Hey, hey.” Jason hushed, “I’ve got you.”
He sat Danny on the bed and went to get pajamas for himself. Once changed he laid down beside Danny and curled around him.
Danny was laying on his back, his legs bent over Jason’s thighs, who was laying on his side up against Danny. Creating a cocoon to hold Danny in.
They fell asleep quickly, Danny held Jason's hand on his chest throughout the rest of the night.
Neither of them had nightmares.
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
@bjurnberg, @skulld3mort-1fan, @akikkobara @undead-bi-dinosaur, @amyheart19, @phoenixdemonqueen, @not-your-average-url, @seraphinedemort, @theywontletmeusetheoneiwant, @satisfactionbroughtmeback, @kyrianclawraith, @i-always-say-yea, @gin2212
#dpxdc#danny phantom#danny fenton#dead on main#so this was the first time i have ever dealt with tumblrs stupid character limit#It's s limit on paragraphs not on the whole post. however. that means i have to manually reformat the entire post of over 2k words#that i have already done the editing for#this is not important to the story i am just a little annoyed#death#bad parents jack and maddie#I use that tag so often just wrote a b and it popped up hahahah
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awww babe i saw your recent post- I'm depressed as heck lately too, so I get that feeling. Imma drop some requests that could cheer u up bc I find them cute, but don't do them if you don't feel like it!
Little Mizuki wanting to play dress up and will settle for none but Kanade as the model, so Kanade gets to be a pretty princess
wxs all regress together and go on an adventure while playing princes and princesses
Emu brings Saki, An, and Mizuki to her house and they all age regress at the same time and wreak havoc on the Ootori household
Akito agere/petre in denial so he's just studying with Toya and Mizuki when out of the blue this idiot starts growling n stuff, so then he just sits there in terrified silence until Mizuki just looks him dead in the eyes and meows back. Toya just doesn't question it. He's too sigma.
Ena stress regressing, aggressively rings the entirety of nightcord 48795893 times until they pick up and starts babytalk yapping about all her opps
﹒﹒🐾﹕﹙HEADCANNONS & SHORT FICS﹚✦◝
Before I begin on all of these, thank you so much :( I saw that note a while ago and it helped lift my spirit a bit more. 🤍 love u lots
Now! These were all such yummy awesome ideas that I felt compelled to at least attempt write about them all, I hope this offering to the community is nutritious enough to last a bit haha.
✷﹒🎵🎀﹐LITTLE! MIZUKI & CG! KANADE﹕﹪
⁺ ☆ . ✦ . ⁺
1 ﹒ Mizuki owns all sorts of pretty dresses and accessories, it’s just a matter of when and where she can style them accordingly on herself! So, occasionally, stylish bows and cute scarves go unused for months at a time,, ໒꒰ྀི´ ᵔ ` ꒱ྀིა
2 ﹒ Once she’s regressed and sat by all of her friends, however, it’s almost impossible for her not to think of having them dress up with her! Knocking off those boring sweats for sparkly tutu’s sounds like a dream come true..
3 ﹒ Convincing them, however, may simply be the most difficult part of this masterful plan of hers! ꒰ྀི⸝⸝ -᷅ ⤙ -᷄ ⸝⸝꒱ྀི১
4 ﹒ A shake, a whine, and some cute puppy dog eyes are her ultimate tactic! And as the rest of the group exchange glances, she can’t help but giggle and kick her feet, there’s absolutely no way they can say no to her now!
5 ﹒ Mizuki can’t help but grin as she holds up a gorgeous, puffy pink dress towards K. Helplessly accepting it, Kanade let out a light, breathy sigh in defeat.
6 ﹒ Her plans succeeded! Her friends look soooo cute! K, especially!
7 ﹒ It’s not until a silly, pink princess dress is being put over her head that she’s realized that she forgot to dress herself up! She giggles and squirms as the group fits it over her tshirt, today…
..today was an excellent day!
⁺ ☆ . ✦ . ⁺
﹙🎭﹚︰LITTLE! WxS﹐♫
⁺ ☆ . ✦ . ⁺
1 ﹒ Practice was meant to go as normal, play the roles, review the lines, ask questions, riddle everyone’s brains over said questions trying to figure out the answers, give up, continue playing the roles, and then finish up for the day! It was far from such.
2 ﹒ Whether it began with THE Tsukasa Tenma forgetting his lines and being brought to the verge of tears from it, Nene’s phone dying whilst she was seeking a break behind stage, Emu’s sadder thoughts being brought into question, or Rui receiving strange looks on his way to practice, it simply wasn’t a good day for anyone!
3 ﹒ Frustrated with these turn of events, Tsukasa initiated a plan! Plan-Regressing-Solves-All! How exactly he would manage to coerce 3 people into little space whilst still upset himself..? Hmm, a true dilemma! But nothing a star can’t fix!
4 ﹒ It began with Emu, a simple tap on the shoulder, a long stare whilst she babbled on with a smile on her face, then, he cleared his throat. The question was simple, and yet he couldn’t help the flush on his cheeks. In his mind, “would you like to play with me?!” Wouldn’t cut it! However..
5 ﹒ With a big, squeaky laugh, and her eyes shut tight, a smile squeezing up her face, she shook him around, agreeing with a big nod and exclamation of how “this would be so fun!”
6 ﹒ A success! And so, the two march onward, in search of an abnormally tall purple haired little, and a rather tiny grey haired girl! In their minds, Rui and Nene needed saving! Trapped within the tower! It was Emu and Tsukasa’s great duty to save them from this terror!
7 ﹒ Rui wasn’t that hard to find! To ask, however… ahhh. Tsukasa shakes his head, and pulls at his sleeve gently, Emu jumping in for a big big hug, nearly knocking the boy over! “Play with us, Rui! Play with us!!” Emu nearly screamed, giggling and kicking her feet. Tsukasa, in return, nodded. Rui didn’t have the heart to deny…
8 ﹒ Rui took much longer to drop than Emu, Tsukasa noted. That wouldn’t be much of an issue, though! Besides, they had a princess to save!
9 ﹒ Nene, sat within a corner behind the stage, curled within herself, appeared to be sniffling. The three exchanged saddened looks at this, a frown melting onto Emu’s face as she broke out into a wail, running (quicker than the other two could, Tsukasa noticed) towards the girl, babbling out questions of “are you okay?” At her.
10 ﹒ However, none of her words seemed coherent, so, Rui stepped ahead, asking the question for her (and the rest of them!) she stared back at him with teary eyes and explained. She had overheard them! And she believed she wasn’t invited to play!
11 ﹒ This won’t do, not one bit! And so, Tsukasa holds out a hand to her, and declares that the world must witness the prettiest princes and princesses at once!
12 ﹒ The day very quickly comes to a close with giggles and smiles, much different than the beginning of this story!
⁺ ☆ . ✦ . ⁺
⁺ ☆ . ✦ . ⁺
﹢❛﹑🐕﹙LITTLE/PET!AKITO + MIZU & TOYA﹚>< ⠀
1 ﹒ Akito isn’t a fan of studying, this fact can be stated by anyone and everyone he’s ever spoken to. What he was a fan of, however, was making his partner proud.
2 ﹒ So, when his teacher suggested after school lessons to kick his grade up a notch, he immediately sought out Toya, tail in between his legs as he began explaining his situation. Perhaps, a bit of shame was laced behind his words, but, he covered it up easily with a quick mention of Vivid BAD SQUAD, and how he was confident he wouldn’t have to miss any practices if he received a bit of help.
3 ﹒ His brain felt fuzzy, in a way, as he began talking, it very quickly trailed off into silence and babbles of words that didn’t seem to make sense, not that he realized. Toya placed a hand onto his shoulder, and that jolted him out of his little trance, a muttered sorry coming his way.
4 ﹒ Across the hall, Mizuki spotted Akito, a mischevious look playing onto her face as she crept up behind him. Toya eyed her, questioning what exactly she was planning on— ah..
5 ﹒ Instead of a scream, or a yell, a bark flew her way, furrowing his eyebrows at her angrily. And yet, those words he had on his tongue to appear as rude as always disappeared. He huffed, defeated, and crossed his arms over his chest instead.
6 ﹒ Whatever those two were talking about now didn’t matter to him, those looks he was being given, more. Had he seriously just barked at Mizuki Akiyama? What in Miku’s name was wrong with him, seriously..
7 ﹒ It was no surprise to him that when he turned his ear away from their conversation, Mizuki had somehow found a way to join in on the studying. It wasn’t quite as if he could object to it now, anyway, they were well on their way to the spare classroom kept on the side of their school.
8 ﹒ The studying began as boring as always, and it didn’t seem to become any less banal than ever as time progressed, and that.. stupid fuzzy feeling in his brain wouldn’t knock it off! It was enough to leave him frustrated, staring bullets at his paper.
9 ﹒ After a bit of time, he felt different, less bored, yet still angered, and so, he growled.
10 ﹒ Snarled and all, he rest his head against one of his hands propped up on the desk, fingers pulling at little hairs in his eyes. Toya gave him a strange look, as if he had just done something completely abnormal.
11 ﹒ It couldn’t be more abnormal than those pants he was wearing.. and..
12 ﹒ As much as he wanted to tell him to quit looking at him, before he had the chance, Toya’s voice sounded out, gentler than usual. His eyes softened, whether he’d admit to that or not, it was the truth. His shoulders became less stiff and his mouth was left slightly agape.
13 ﹒ It only took him a mere 5 seconds to remember Mizuki was in the room, and so, he slumped against the desk. A light sound from in front of him was quick to appear, however, a soft, purr of a meow.
14 ﹒ It was slightly slurred, and yet, Akito raised his head up and off of his desk to stare back at her. Meow..? Seriously, what the bark was this..
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↷﹒💄﹒LITTLE! ENA & N25﹒✶
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1 ﹒ Everyday was a fight, whether Ena would admit that or not. Every waking moment was filled with some new thing for her father to scream at her over.
2 ﹒ And so, when she sought comfort tucked within her room with a pencil and paper — a gentle melody in the back she was originally humming to — and the art began looking wonky and irregular, she huffed. It didn’t take much longer for another mistake to lead to her crumpling up the paper into her hand and letting out an angry scream at the world.
3 ﹒ One pencil was snapped, and the pillows on her bed were now on the floor as she cried herself into a meltdown. One hand searching for her phone as the other found its way to her lips, sucking on her thumb.
4 ﹒ Kanade was the first to join, and the first to hear her sobs of agony at every pencil and paper and father figure to have ever existed, then came Mafuyu, and lastly, Mizuki.
5 ﹒ “Enanan..? What’s the matter?” She didn’t have an answer! Everything was the matter! Everything was wrong! Every piece of art! The Mona Lisa could burn for all she cared! She just..
6 ﹒ She just wanted her caregivers! Was that so much to ask for..?! Her sobs and screams into her pillow started to become light sniffles as N25 worked their magic, letting her breathe without criticism.
7 ﹒ She fell asleep nearly instantly, tears staining her face for the night.
8 ﹒ And when she woke up, everyone was still on call with her, asleep or not, they were there. Along with a weird note right by her door with a pacifier attached to it. The note was sweeter than she’d like to admit.
9 ﹒ Ugh…
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HELLO HELLO! This was a grand post to celebrate the new year! Thank you sososoooo much to everyone I’ve became friends with in the past few months, and for all of the support I receive day after day. I love you all sosososooooomuch it’s unbelievable!
I worked on this for 3 hours straight ahshjahsj… with the exception of changing music, texting my friends with pleas of prayers for this, and editing the cards obvi!
I hope this is okay, and I did in fact avoid one of them haha… maybe I’ll get to it another time..? It didn’t appeal to me this time, sorry..
once again, happy new years, late merry christmas & happy hanukkah! I hope everyone had a great month over the holidays, ily all sm. I’ll be getting to the rest of my requests soon enough once I’m not burnt out haha.. thanks<3
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