#:( im rly sad i want one
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(scrapped painting)
its kinda fascinating how you can draw something well and instead of learning from it for the next drawing you repeat the same old mistakes that kept you from improving in the first place
(was supposed to the next scene after the previous good painting lol)
its a rly early sketch (i know it wont work out though, too much wrong) but Zaphira (standing) was winning the fight against the guy that challenged her (he also cheated and attacked her weak leg with a dagger despite it being a fist fight) so he ordered the soldiers he hid in the audience to shoot, Shargon is catching the arrows in the air before they can reach her and she trusts him enough to not even react to it
#ganondoodles#art#i guess#man .....#the scene itself is rly cool but i dont think it comes across here lol#im not even angry anymore#im just sad that i wasted almost 3 hours on this .... i redid the sketch alot too#even though i should KNOW i cant paint something if i got a sketch for it#i didnt do a sketch for the last one and it worked!!#and now im up an hours too long too#it feels embarassing to post even#i probably shouldnt even have saved it#its way more difficult too#i should just leave it be and move on bc im clearly not ready to draw it yet#its just hard to ignore that ... idk .. eagerness to please? as in ppl were interested in the previous one#so i wanted to show more of that scene#but i might have just ruined the mystery or something#anyway my blinking is like seconds long i need sleep
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help i cant stop drawing fem neuvillette
#minxie art#neuvifuri#genshin impact#furina#neuvillette#UGHHHHH I LOVE FURI BUT IM GETTING BRAIN DAMAGE FROM MY OWN DRAWING IF NEUVI#I RLY LOVE TALL WOMEN THAT ARE SOFT ON THE INSIDE BUT SERIOUS AND OR POTENTIALLY SCARY ON THE OUTSIDE#also im rly proud of furi here bc she looks so cute im bleating pathetically#my fave thing about drawing them is making them obsessed with each other#and giving neuvi big milkers lol#am i turning neuv into a bimb0........... LOL idc!#ooc? idc!#no ones winning against her in a yearn off#for context on the bottom left#furi dropped her DL and neuv waited the entire day after work to give it in person#also she bought a new dress and got her hair nails and makeup done bc i said so#sorry im annoying but ive always been like this lol#like if u look at my amaya sideblog it gets worse#i have an alt twt as well but its priv and that is 10 times worse too#also listened to golden hour serafina cover for like 7 hours doing this#i said bottom left but i mean right lmao L#actually i had like 2 endings for this#one is that neuv was a demon the entire time#so she remembers#the other is that neuv turns into a demon but has no memories#but i didnt want to be sad so i just made her remember
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I spent too long on this
C3e111 spoilers:
SO I MAY BE READING TOO MUCH INTO THINGS ????
But i Feel like when beau was like "why isn't it us? Do u think these kids can pull it off?"
Like textually, she's being condecending af, (the ushe, il her), but i feel like subtextually, she's like.. genuinely worried bc she's spent seven years working to prevent people in power from using kids as weapons for war ?????
Like she's got an aloof image to uphold, sure, but i Feel like she actually rly cares and is worried. AND worried x2 that her worry will endanger the nein and the mission.
Fjord consequently catches on and is like "Bro ur So Overworked, u need to focus on u for a bit gd"
Maybe i just miss tm9 so much and am reading into things but hhhhhhhh brjeaus go brrrrr
#brjeaus#critical role spoilers#meta#ish#??#beauregard lionett#im only caught up w ep 111 no spoilers please i havent checked if a new one has aired yet unfortunately im an adult w burnout#fjord stone#my lil guyssss#it seemed ooc of them to be so callous#but ALSO marisha looked rly sad and despondent whike talking its not like#oh im beau im do confident#its like bro i really need u to center me rn bc this is a lot#she doesnt want to get attached bc they might die its very in character#also her suggestibg they should help out#her muttering about “baby sitting���#like u wouldnt say that if u didnt care abt the afirmentioned babies#not to mentiob when she was in their place she went into cognouza bc she didnt have a choice#but noone told them to go there#bh have been dispatched by a powerful figure to go on whats practically a suicide mission#i dontcthink beau would be into that#anti authority and all#muffin rambles
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college … wasted on the youth (me)
#didnt help that 2/4 yrs was covid telezoom but man.. MANNN#forgetting how impossible it is to pursue rhe degree plan u actually want (advising hell) i feel like . theres just#so many diff things i want to learn now Knowing that im more solidified in my interests and who i am and what i would be interested in doing#and like.😭RGAAAAAQH TEARING MYHAIR OUTTT every other week i have a night where im sititng there like damn i couldve been sm1 completely dif#dgmw i still rly enjoy some of the upper div classes i Did take but what if i took x and liked it more or minored in y and it led me to z#bc i do feel rly set in where i am rn which . i DO ! like it but im never gna be in that environment where u have the flexibility to explore#ykwim . i wish i had taken physics and calc srsly . i always thought i hated that shit but i like it. i like it quite a lot actually😟#or more geology .. urrghh.. sprinkle in sme extra art history . no bc thats what actu pissed me off ab school#i rmbr wanting to dual major and they straight up told me no i cant . but then i was like maybe an arts major bio minor when i wanted to do#science illustration but sry we dont offer bio minor . ok bio major arh or studio art minor . no sry not enough open spots we rly only#reserve it for when we have extra openings post admission❤️#and then even late into sophomore year u would still be last in registration so all the cool classes would be closed#and then bc of covid half that shit was cancelled bc they couldnt transfer labs online (rip comparative vertebrate anatomy)#and then by senior yr an additional collection of classes were unavailable bc u dont have the prereqs bc the prereqs were cancelled during#covid and u dont have enough semesters left to actually take it . like it was gen such an awful experience so ik why i couldnt ever do what#i wanted but .😭 AND LIKE the classes i DID enjoy like genomics or molecular genetics were closed by registration and i had to email and beg#for access . thts crazy .literally crazy .#anyways . i think i want 2 start reading textbooks bc i think thats the closest ill get LMAOO#i remember seeing my coworker read a textbook for fun one time and idk why i just didnt understand why bc it seemed so dry but i Get it now#like yeah .. u knew what was up ..#sad too that like . i could theoretically audit a course but i Work..during the day .. so sad . so sad#guys wht if i just said yes to grad school (<the devil talking.dont agree)
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no new art just posting my propaganda of the week
i think everyone in the acotar series should fight over lucien bc hes so cool hot sexy cute and deserves all the love in the world and ik everone wants him!!!!!! *mwuah* <- das him getting a big fat wet kiss!!!!!!!!
#im so normal about lucien help#i want to EAT HIM#WHOLE#i need some vindication in the next book bc wym bro got his ass handed to him for no reason and his ONE FRIEND isint even kind to him#i love angst but hey sjm im gonna throw up#like he used to b so snarky and fun and then EVERYTHING happened and now hes just so sad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#oouuu inner circle and feyre when i get my hands on you#lets b honest shes not even rly int the IC#pro lucien vanserra#lucien vanserra#no bc actually what did he do#i need someone to sit me down and bullet point list me all the reason why the ic doesnt give af about this guy i feel like im going insane
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1 week until surgery...my brain keeps trying to talk me out of it bc i dont Need it and im scared of medical environments and Pain but i have to remember this is one of the only things that has ever made me consider wanting a tattoo and also the only thing that's made me Excited For and Wanting visible scars...
And also I've been making "i want sterilization and testosterone" meltdown tweets every other week for many many years so we're scratching one off the list LOL
#talkys#i even told me dad like my life is at a standstill bc theres too many choices. i dont have a passion so i could be anything but#i cant pick a future...! but this is the only thing ive ever been sure abt#like genuinely truly bc i still dk if i want top surgery and I know id be grappling wirh finally going on hrt if i had access to it#bc im Scared of my own decisions. if i make a decision and hate it it will be my fault#this is the only decision ive ever been sure of even if i dont need it even if i never ''need'' it#the One True Dysphoria Subject (other than *** ****** * **** of course but nothing can be done abt that.)#i dont want my body to be capable of it i want it to be mine forever and not something tragedy can happen to.#also abt the scars thing: i was more against ir a few yrs ago but along with top surgery being a more demanding surgery ive#never rly liked the thought of scars. like. idk. just adds insult to injury that my body had to be modified instead of being born right#but this? i want visible scars i get sad that ppl say they (understandably) fade away easily. symbols of honor#i dont like permanence (lmfao) in other categories so i wouldnt get the neutered tattoo but its adjacent to wanting the scars lol
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headcanon asks for Bradley: 1 and 19?
✨ send me a number + a character for headcanons! ✨
1: holiday headcanon
christmas was always one of bradley's favorite holidays, all throughout his childhood. every adult in young bradley's life, all with varying backgrounds and types of childhoods of their own, could come together to agree on one thing: bradley's christmases should be magical. carole, trying to keep the magic of those first three christmases with everyone all together alive; mav, trying to give bradley the kind of happy memories he never had; ice and slider, woven into the family by carole's steady hand, determined to give this little makeshift family what it needs. bradley remembers holiday baking with mom, learning about the traditions of ice's family, so different from theirs; neatly-wrapped gifts from santa, much lumpier gifts that were also "from santa", supposedly, but he knew those ones were from uncle mav- it would be fair to say bradley was a little spoiled when it came to the holiday season.
after carole is gone, and it's just he and mav, those years are empty and feel meaningless, but they try. they try for carole's memory, for each other, and for ice and the others. bradley's eventual disillusionment with the holiday doesn't start there- no, it starts after.
once he and mav have their falling out, it's like someone has flipped the light switch. the last few chrismases were quiet ones, lonely without mom, sure- but he and mav got thru them together. after losing mav, too, though, it's radio silence. bradley goes from loving and enjoying the christmas season to hating it, overnight. the first christmas after is bleak. a long december and a somehow even longer december 25th. the only accompaniment that he has for the next four years of college are the cards and the letters he doesn't open. he spends it in the dorms alone while everyone else goes back to their families.
once he meets phoenix in flight school, things start to look up, just a little. she has a lively, bustling family full of extended relatives and family friends, and they're happy to fold in one more. it still doesn't feel right. it doesn't make him feel at home. for all their effort and kindness, phoenix's mom is nothing like carole and phoenix's dad is is nothing like goose- and as much as he hates himself for thinking it, more importantly, is nothing like mav- and the traditions and energy are all so different that it just feels unfamiliar. though it tugs painfully on his emotional aches and pains, he is grateful to have somewhere to go and happy to be included, even if it only exemplifies to him how alone he really is, and how he really doesn't seem to belong anywhere.
post-mission, post-reconciliation, bradley isn't sure what to expect. he imagines that mav would have built a life without him in it by now and is dismayed to learn this is not the case. he isn't sure if mav will want him around for the holidays after everything he's done and said. phoenix pushes him, telling him that of course he's welcome at the trace family table again this year, but you really ought to stick around and sort this shit out. through much hesitation, bradley does.
the post-reconciliation christmas is not lively or bright or boisterous like the christmases of old. it'll never be the same, without mom, without uncle ice, when the other flyboys have families of their own to worry about now. but mav welcomes him, wants him to be there, and it's more at home than bradley has felt in fifteen long years. it's not about the food or the gifts or the decorations. it's about the people- person, actually. it's about being invited into mav's life and heart even when he knows he can never deserve to be in those places again. at the end of the day, the old christmases were always about family and love and connection, and even though they're quite different on the surface, the new christmas is about all those things, too.
19. favorite photograph headcanon
photos were and are such an important part of the bradshaw-mitchell family. bradley knows it- and it's a part of why, when he leaves, he doesn't take the photos of himself and mav. he knows that to mav, that will say something, loud and clear, and he wants to be hurtful- he wants his emotions to be heard and understood. instead, he takes with him only the photos of his mom and dad, and a couple with the flyboys that mav took, and subsequently was not in; but bradley tells himself that he doesn't need the pieces of a relationship that there's no point in trying to salvage, so he leaves all of those pieces behind.
except for one.
it's a somewhat dilapidated polaroid, taken with his dad's old camera, snapped by carole as she'd stood on the back porch of the little bungalow house that bradley grew up in. in it, a six-year-old bradley sits in mav's arms, held up at eye-level in one strong arm as mav points up with the other. bradley has one hand fisted into mav's shirt, and his gaze and rapt attention are locked overhead. mav always used to tell little bradley to look up at the stars if he missed him, because it's the same stars- they always have that between them, at least. in the photo, mav points out the constellations they share even when apart, and bradley listens intently, trying to commit the names to memory. when he became old enough to have one, bradley used to keep it in his wallet.
eventually, when it's all fallen apart and those connections between them have been severed, bradley gives a new photo the place of honor in his wallet, a photo of he and mom- but he can't just throw out the old picture, no matter how angry he feels when he looks at it, no matter how badly he wants to. it goes into the box with everything else, with letters and cards and artifacts that mav sends him or that he can't bring himself to throw away. sometimes on a quiet, lonely night aboard a carrier or on leave, floating adrift in the world with no anchors to speak of, he thinks about it. he looks at the stars and he sees that image in his mind's eye and he remembers being six years old and thinking mav would always be there, and he wonders sometimes in the most empty moments if the old man still remembers all that shit about the stars. if he ever still looks at them, still thinks of it, of bradley, if he ever wonders anything about bradley the way bradley wonders about him. deep down inside, he knows that he mustn't. deep down inside, he tells himself that there's no chance in hell mav does. because, if he does, it means bradley threw away something that was still alive. it's a fate he cannot bring himself to accept.
when they've reconciled, bradley will find that old beat-up picture in the box. he'll show it to mav. i never forgot, he'll quietly admit. i always thought about it. i- i guess i thought that you probably didn't even care to look at them anymore. i just- i thought it was over. mav will take the photo, tattered and much-handled, from bradley's outstretched hand, studying it with a reverence that bowls bradley right over. i looked at 'em every night, baby goose, he'll admit. always hoped you might be looking, too.
tysm for this ask !!! and for your infinite patience in my disastrous ability to reply 😭😭but i loved answering this ask sm !!! and i definitely did not answer it in longhand at my job and i also definitely did not accidentally write so much about the christmas thing that i had to chop it way down for this ask because it accidentally kind of became a chapter of something lol. i am a disaster. but thank u so much and i hope u enjoy and are well!! <3<3<3
#star unasks#top gun maverick#top gun#brambleberrycottage#bradley rooster bradshaw#ON A RELATED NOTE ABT THE PHOTO I JUST FOUND OUT LIKE V RECENTLY THAT I GUESS IN THE ORIGINAL SCRIPT#BRADLEY IS SUPPOSED TO BE STARING AT A PHOTO OF HIM AND MAV IN THE READY ROOM BEFORE HE HAS HIS FIGHT W MAV????#and im screaming crying throwing up about it#if i had known that when i wrote ttnp i swear to god. i would have exploited the HELL out of that#im so sad i didnt#😭😭#FINALLY APPROACHING 80K ON THE WIP BTW😭😭#so i have taken a break to try and answer some asks lol#also also: just found out this year is the last sicktember and i am torn bc i rly wanted to do it sometime but this would be my last chance#and im just like. i dont think i can write 63k words in one month kids. i dont think i have it in me. akdjfkfhfjg#so i am very very torn lol#stars scribbles
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I made caprese salad :3 for no particular reason (lying)
#the reason is that the new episode made me want it rly bad#i havent gotten to see it yet but the caprese salad is in it jsyk#for all my diamond is unbreakable girlies who are awaiting the new tskr episode yall are gonna shit when you see what they did#anyways#this was rly good and im sad its gone now#i wanna make another plate but that is SO much cheese to eat in one sitting#my cooking#foodstuffs#rai cooks
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feeling. bad
#egg boils#i spent one month going off in the tags but now i just feel. rly meek n im starting to think everyone hates me goodness gracious you are 23#shut the fuck upppppp please nobody cares that much and if they did they’d just Block and move on get a grip 😭#idk#i’m just. sad i guess. can someone who cares abt hoshimina the same way i do show up so i can talk abt them without feeling guilty god this#rly fucking sucks no offense LOL also i’m just. so drained suddenly. idk i don’t want to write anymore <- guy who is definitely being silly#i’ll probably read through the comments again#ughhhhhhhh feel like shit
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🖤 for misa about light ??
attractiveness:
repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.
personality:
grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.
how likely they would have sex with them:
not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.
level of friendship:
never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends (eventually, over time) / my only friend. (eventually, over time)
first impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
current impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
send 🖤 and my character will answer about yours; specify. || ALWAYS ACCEPTING || @prodigum.
#answered.#dynamic; misa & light.#brb kms#italics mean sometimes !! the present is all answered in the context for the on the run / survival au !!#anyway she ............. loves that man. SO MUCH#despite everything#like. especially after That she feels shell never be pretty enough tall enough kind enough compassionate enough smart enough or sexy enough#even though logically she KNOWS she's the shit#like she already struggles to forge genuinely meaningful connections w/ people especially w/ bpd#i genuinely think even if she's the second kira she'd try to use her vast fame & platform for humanitarian causes#& i think she'd try to influence light to do the same w/ her in the hopes of creating that new world light always wanted#im personally of the belief that despite how oof the beginning of their relationship was that there WAS some tenderness there#bc like im sorry u dont go through SIX YEARS of being w/ sb & not have any affection for sb thats just not how it works lmao#& we talked about them a fuckton in dms already on how eventually in this au they slowly start to get closer after losing everything#& its rly sweet & like really fucking sad at the same time. bc like. it took That Long for him to finally recognize her worth & how she's.#really the only one who truly genuinely unconditionally loved him & he's like. astonished by that. & it took him literally almost dying#& especially after That reveal like they get a lot closer#but the fact that she literally dies not longer after him literally on the exact same day as him tells you everything you need to know#she loved that man SO MUCH. they're each other's red thread of fate but where it digs into the hands like red barbed wire & bleeds.#anyway they make me so fucking feral#prodigum
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speedy mention !!!!!!
#astro watches#chuckle sandwich#i know he knwos who he and the crew are bc of the sleep deprived golf mention.#but dude him brinign up speedy (and vanoss) pretty much unprompted#is sooo...#like i know that even tho im a newer fan that the crew has been around forever#but hearing schlatt be like. i used to fuck around in his comments wanting to be a youtuber in his kind of vein#its just so... <33 dude i love it sm#also i just love him saying kyrspeedy. it makes my brain vibrate#also chuckle sandwhich ending :( tbh i kinda saw it coming. it rly ha felt like they havent had shit to talk abt for a while now#ill miss it tho ! i ddint watch every episode but if one is reccmonded to me ill watch it all the way though.#i rly enjoy them. they have a fun chill dynamic. and yeah idk. it s sad. but i enjoy when things can end on a good note
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ah shit only just realised its september now.... lets hope the rest of this month isn't like this.....
#just med shit innit. gonna force myself up at my usual work time even tho i have the day off bc I need to be in my routine or ill lose it#i am. very tired and very sad. and thats ok generally im ok ive been keeping myself so busy for weeks and weeks#and im glad im going out n doing shit often n meeting new ppl n trying to focus more on hobbies n get more on the life balance#but whenever i have a moment to stop i still get so sad. ik exactly why theyre all just old aches n wounds i dont want to wallow in them!!#lately its been well under control i only usually have one actual bad day a week and sometimes its not even a whole day#and the rest im.just busy and i dont know if im just avoiding things and its not satisfying being busy bc im still missing out needs#but i cant fulfil them so might as well stay busy and not think about it!!#and its okay its all okay im just so sad right now :-( but im going to sleep soon and then ill be busy tmr so i dont have to think abt it#i wanna ventpost abt it but also i dont rly want to bc findinf the words to talk abt the things distressing me involves thinking abt it#which will just.make me feel worse. and it wont resolve anything bc its all mostly outside of my control anyway just hurts innit#but im trying hard to make my life bigger than it was before even if its still shallow and not quite enough at least it covers more space#yeah yeah we all want to feel genuine connection and wanted and loved but life doesnt often work out like that so.#hands in your pockets player keep it moving. im goiny to brush my teeth and then rly need to go to bed zzzzz#.diaries#hope everyone else had a nice weekend i had a pretty good saturday at least. and played a lot of videogames today so could be worse#very glad i dont have work tomorrow as well thank u past me for booking it off ahh..
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"in my opinion only keep the septum that looks okay on you anything will just ruin your face and leave a scar" did i ask
#kimberly i want you to take one look at my thighs and tell me if you think i give a fuck abt scarring 😐#anyways. i dont think im getting the vertical labaret chat#:( im rly sad i want one#but literally everyone hs said itll look like shit so. ig
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the difference btwn irl and online perspective on creativity is so funny to me and idk if I'll ever get used to the stark contrast of it all.
IRL when I mention that I draw and write, people act like I'm some super talented creative genius(???). they don't seem to understand the concept of OCs, and if I try to vaguely touch on my DL project they get visibly overwhelmed no matter how simple I make it for them, and eventually they settle on just insisting that I need to publish traditionally and monetize on it. they don't seem to have the ability to understand the concept of zines and immersive storytelling through non-traditional means.
but then i get online and I'm just another drop in the ocean and always a very mediocre drop at that LMAO, I constantly fight with myself to feel like there is any sort of value to my stories and art, and there's hundreds of people doing the sort of thing that I do but even better than I could ever dream of doing!
it's just so strange going from interacting with this online to IRL, I feel like I'm getting whiplash from being largely ignored or scoffed at online (which I'm fine with btw lol I grew up with that in my family and now I get nervous when I get too much attention) to people at the centre treating me like I'm some kind of artistic genius who cannot be understood because I'm too far above their level 😭
#i simplify the things i talk about so much too like djdksl i rly make it as easy as possible to understand#i continue to simplify things more and more when i talk to ppl. i get vaguer and vaguer. and yet !!!!#it rly is not difficult to understand i feel like ??? the concept of zines is just so simple really#but these ppl are all so deeply entrenched in traditional novels that the concept of a zine is far outside their understanding ig 😭#im just dhfjdls struggling going back and forth btwn these two spaces of online vs IRL#the thing is that i do just want to share my ideas w ppl! i enjoy it!#and i want to hear their ideas too!#but everyone is so weird irl to me about it ??? like. calm down. im a little freak. do not treat me like im way beyond ur understanding!!#if u played w me in the space then u would see oh actually art is smth everyone can engage in!!!#art is not for ''talented'' people only!!! everyone can make it!!! u gain skill the longer u work on it!!#i prefer sharing stuff online bc of this fjdkdl but then online has its drawbacks too#i have a hard time not being mean to myself abt how my work does not measure up to other ppls fjfkdl#which is silly bc i LOOOVE seeing ppl make art no matter what their skill level or whatnot#and i get sad seeing ppl be down on themselves abt their creations#but ... idk sbdjdl I'm rambling LOL i was just thinking abt how strange all this is#sorry for the weird ramble post LOL this is probably smth that should go on my main account but too late now fjdkdl#dandy.cmd#vent //#not rly meaning for this to be a vent but i think perhaps it has some flavours of being one LOL
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i know ive talked about this a lot on akira but idk how much ive brought it up here ?! the struggles of talking about all my muses across all my blogs (will not change). but ive been thinking about it again, because akira 1) talks more than gran does 2) is more likely to actually speak up about their/your feelings. not to say gran wont address it, but theyll either be very short about it or show it through actions. motivational speeches is reserved for moments when its expected of them (captain stuff in main story, shieldsworn, etc) <-guy who actually does not like being the center of attention
there are times when they get better at it, depending on situation & ppl involved (vyrn&lyria has special rights, even tho there are times when they dont get to know either (no rain no rainbow....)), as the grandcypher & things theyve been through has them learning to rely on others a lot more. in general theyre rly thankful to have lyria around at most times cuz of how easily she feels for others (as someone who gained the life back in her eyes thanks to katalina!), cuz while theyre very often of the same feelings as her, shes a lot quicker at voicing it.
not very related but, gran, as someone who does know how to fight, is instead a lot quicker at stepping in front of others. ofc akira isnt, theyre Normal (even tho theyre always shown doing exactly that anyway if the situation calls for it/the time they ignore a death threat towards them in order to relay important information), but im mentioning it cuz i think a loooooooot about the times theyve jumped off islands/cliffs just to save ppl (alliah, at least 2 times in grimnirs fate eps alone, bnha..........). also constantly think about the yurius event when yurius goes to sacrifice himself and captain & albert are just wtfffff get OUT of there COME BACK HERE and refusing to leave him. caims 5* uncap........ i truly do think a lot about that moment in paradoxroid where no one goes after owen and akira decides to do it themself likeeee.......and akira who stood in front of owens body to protect him from a unicorn,,,,,,(gesture vaugely) something about the things the varied experience about the things they have in common
#stardust speaking !#the jumpscare i had when captain said some cheesy stuff in canon#when akira says that stuff like all the time#tldr akira is more consistent with dialogue-amount. gran varies a lot depending on situation & topic#emu is..............emu also hides away. smile of a dreamer has her trying to shoulder keeping the park her grandpa envisioned safe alone#and kirapika also has her carrying her feelings alone. 'if ure going to cry then cry in front of us' ughhh nene..........#always thought wxs conflict was neat because emus priority is the wonder stage while tsukasa & nene increasingly looked for things#beyond that. rui who asked emu and emu who said that she was going to stay with the wonder stage. gggggggggggggg perhaps ill read through#their main events before kirapika......#anyhow. emu & gran ppl who will not tell u when they are really really sad#IM RAMBLING but sr joel always makes me dizzy. captain who went with the assumption he was leaving the crew. and instead of#like. confirming it with him. instead got sad all on their own. and joel who rightfully gets mad with them because of it once he finds out#dude its so good its. 1) ive always liked joel so when his sr released i was like hell yeah 2) the fact they gave me this much captain stuf#of things theyve alrdy established too (captain is very worried after erste about everyone going separate ways too). ughhhhhhh gran who rly#does not want ppl to leave but also does not have the heart to ask them to stay#and is too afraid to actually discuss ppl leaving -> ends up making one-sided assumptions#when ure the captain & had to learn to rely on ppl (anime s1 is sooo big on this too) & struggle tremendously with expression urself
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o boy new life series cant wait to Stop Watching As Soon As Someone Permadies
#i dont need more tragedy sorry. but i DO want to see what stupid shit they cook up in there#i need to root for tango also. maybe he'll uh. well. end of sentence.#its kind of a shame im too much of a sap to enjoy em bc theyre truly goldmines for Ideas. y'all have fun for me ok?#life series#secret life spoilers#life series spoilers#footnotes#why are skizz and tango like a bonded pair of birds. god i hope bdubs joins them i want to see that disaster. im rly sad cleo bailed#the heart theme is SO CUTE and will probably stop being cute very fast but SHHH OUTFITS#also i WISH i could be excited abt new watcher subclass symbol dropping but i can Feel the grian fandom being bastards with it#ah yes another morally ambiguous figure who follows their own rules and judges very fairly from that basis-#oh youre making them evil. ok. yeah so theyre the new twisted sicko in charge of the life games even though thats Literally Just Grian. ok.#i have not and will not actually verify if this is what is being said BUT this is one time i would LOVE to be wrong#maybe my curse of saying something abt hermitcraft that immediately becomes false will work out in my favor for once? please? hello?#but yes i will not look and this is tags instead of a post bc truly. i need to get over myself. i Wont but at least i can quarantine it
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