#:: okay so they r so gross !!!!!!!! weirdos

[distrxst]

" say please. " akaza is holding giyuu's face gently, but his voice is teasing, a smirk on his face that is anything but nice. " be polite, say please. " / ew

all he has to do is say please .

it's that simple ! all he has to do is let that singular word slip free from his mouth and he'll get to have lips on his , a personal taste of heaven . but it's not that easy , not for giyuu . he's bad at asking , elaborating - and akaza's trying to make him plead . cocky . that shit eating grin says it all . he's intent on making giyuu suffer .

giyuu leans back on his knees before the other sitting man - he'd like to lean forward , like to ask with silence , like to kiss akaza like his life depends on it . but that's where the hands come in . hands that punch and poke and prod and claw , holding giyuu's face like he's a treasure to be gazed upon , but also to keep him from what he wants . every subtle lean is met with unmoving hands , that refuse to give in to giyuu's wishes . they'll let him . all he has to say is please .

" you're an asshole . "

a quiet whisper , not a polite one by any means , not one that'll reward him . but giyuu can't say it . he can't draw a plea out . brows furrow , tilting upwards slightly as his lips draw in a straight line . he's sure he looks pitiful , but that is far from his biggest problem . please . he's thinking it . please kiss me 'till i can't breath , he should say , but he doesn't .

" i'm not a beggar .. you know this akaza - don't make me say it . "

[the-kr8tor]

hiii katyy. how are youuu?

i've just started my first Real job and i hate it with my whole heart. fuck gastro.

could i please request gn!r coming home after work tired af and hobie just comforting and reassuring them?

Thank you both for requesting! I combined your requests bc they're pretty similar. Hope that's okay! Ly ly 😘❤️❤️❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x gn! Reader/ Spider-Punk x gn! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, Fluff.

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

You're so tired that you can barely keep your eyes open. The bag slung over your shoulder seems to weigh a ton, shoes feeling like cinder blocks beneath your fleet. And muscles being pulled apart with every step you take on the steep staircase.

With your crappy luck, the building’s elevator seems to not work at all. Head placed on your flat’s door, you tiredly insert your key into the lock. Sighing like the world dropped on your head, you finally make it inside. At the same time, Hobie finally unlocks the latch on your window.

You both freeze in place. Hobie's body is half climbing out of the window sill. He's still in his suit, soot and dirt clinging on the leather and spandex. His mask torn at the left side of his face, showing you tuffs of his hair and battered eye. Looks like you both had a hard day.

“Evenin’ love.” He says with a lopsided smile, “you look worse than me.”

“You should look in the mirror, Hobie.” Despite the comment, you quickly toe off your shoes to cross the small distance. Arms raised, frown deepening with every step. He catches you, half sitting on the sill, strong yet fatigued arms enveloping around you. “Oh you smell worse.” With a chuckle, you bury your face on the crook of his neck.

He hums, nosing your temple. “Fought goblin in the sewage.” Pecking the side of your head, he thinks that you would flinch away, but instead you melt further into him. “Fuckin' hell, really?” Laughing, his knuckles glide along your sore spine.

“Mm-hmm,” you know he's joking based on the lack of gross smells, so you cuddle him tighter. Sniffing dramatically, you smile against his neck. “Better than any expensive perfume out there.”

“Weirdo,” poking your side, he taps your legs, to which you understood wordlessly. Wrapping your legs around his waist, he stands up, carrying you across the flat effortlessly. “Who do I have to beat up at your job, hm? Jake stealin’ your lunch again?”

“I wanna quit.” You whine, lifting your head up, you see a grinning Hobie. “I'm joking.”

“You know what they say, Jokes are half meant, love.” Patting your bottom, he fixes his hold on you. “Shower or dinner?”

“Neither, I just wanna lie down.”

“I'll do you one better.” You crane your neck up from his skin, waiting in anticipation. “We take a shower and then we eat dinner in bed.”

Heavy head on his shoulder, you look at him with stars in your eyes. With your warm hand, you thank him with a pat and a kiss on his cheek. “What did I do to deserve you?”

“You stole my line.” Smiling, he leans his cheek closer to your lips. “I should be the one saying that.” Whispering softly, he moves his head to face your tired eyes. “You're doin' a good job, I hope you know that.” Your heart squeezes in your chest.

“And you're doing fantastic work out there.” You place the pads of your fingers to knead gently at the knot in between his eyebrows. “Better than anyone could do, better than I could do.”

“Don't compare, love. I can't do what you can.”

“And I can't do what you can.”

“Well maybe you can, I'll find you a radioactive spider and we'll see.” You laugh wholeheartedly, and he feels like he has the entire world in his arms.

“How about that shower then?” With those words, he hitches you higher in his arms, stomach laying on his shoulder, warm hands protectively holding you in place. You giggle, smacking his backside playfully.

“Thank you for reminding me!” Hobie's own laughter echoes throughout the space whilst he carries you towards the bathroom like a sack of rice. “You better ready those hands for scrubbing!”

With a screech and a loud smack on his ass from you, Hobie shuts the bathroom door closed. Fatigue melting off the both of you with every laughter.

[one-annon]

can you do one where reader has a threesome with the sawyer twins and they kill reader during?

waahh im so sorry this took so long!!! writing block hit SO hard for some reason!! shockingly got this to 2k words - this is also my first x reader smut so please forgive me! hope this is good! (is it obvious im awful at staying serious)

Twins Threesome

you had just started your job at K-OKLA. so far, it was going great! stretch was really nice and lg treated you like a younger sibling. they were patient with you throughout your first few weeks, helping you sort through records as you were instructed. you enjoyed your job and the people you worked with. most of the time, you were just asked to grab a cd, or help lefty in the back with calls.

what you weren't expecting was blood over the floor of the building. you promised to bring your coworkers back some good food. everything was a wreck and you weren't sure what had happened. where were stretch and lefty? were they safe? had they left early? was this a prank? so many questions ran through your head as you looked around. everything was trashed. it was quiet. well, mostly. the only noises came from the office area. you spent some time in there..could they possibly have just spilt something that looks like blood?

you were cautious as you opened the door. instead of finding your coworkers, you found two men. one was laid out on the couch, his purple sunglasses resting on his head. the other man was sat on the floor, messing around with what looked to be - and you hope werent - animal bones. it didn't take long for the men to notice you. what the hell were they doing here? you couldve sworn you were closed during the nights.

"o-oh! another one!" the man on the couch laughed, sitting up where he had been laying. neither of them were very..appealing. but you also didn't have a very normal taste in men. the parts of them that made them relatively gross looking added to their charm. to you, they were both handsome. what a weirdo (me too). the shorter one on the floor lifted his head, a goofy grin on both of their faces. "ooh, and they're real p-pretty!"

you couldnt help how your face heated up at the hippie lookin man's words. pretty? it wasn't very often you get called that. how nice.

the men approached you. "y-yer right..they are p-pretty- th-think we can g-get a taste of 'em, bobby?" he turned to this supposed bobby fellow. you weren't sure what you were supposed to do. two guys were pressing you to a wall and calling you pretty. do you; a) kick the crotch and run b) scream for help c) get horny?

well, a and b were the most logical. you pressed your hands to their chests, trying to push them off. "who are you! let me go!" you shout, lifting your chin to hopefully get your chances of a sliced neck slimmed down. the two men pressed closer, bobby grabbing at your arm and slamming it against the wall. your wrist was seized of all movement, forcing you to sit and squirm. of course..c was still there. it was still an option. you were into men like this. mean, creepy men. men who could (and would) kill you. you were sure what they meant by "a taste" but they both seemed to want some of you. were they gonna eat you? is that what happened to lg and stretch? you shiver at the thought of ending up dead and in these guys' dinner.

"let you go? o-oh but doll! we're j-just starting!" the hippie cackled, turning to the man in the green shirt. " 'member that r-rope in m' bag, nubbins? grab it for me?" nubbins. okay..bobby and nubbins. good to know names. nubbins scurried off, rummaging through a book bag with patches and stickers. bobby turned back toward you, a wicked grin on his face. "n-now listen here..we aint gonna hurt ya yknow? j-just gonna explore your pretty body a little!"

you weren't sure how to feel about that. it's been a while since someone had touched you sexually but also..you didn't know these guys too well. just their names and that they were batshit crazy. and wanted to apparently have sex with you. you could always just escape after…get them tired enough to escape. that could work! perfect. you had a plan and were prepared for it. "fuck..okay." you whisper, biting your lip.

the shorter one, nubbins, was back at your side, maneuvering you to face his brother. choptop held your waist tight, kissing at your neck and watching as the other tied your hands together. he would've done it himself but he knew nubs had been itching to do some bondage recently. they always shared their cravings with each other.

you were forced onto the couch, back down. bobby situated himself between your legs, nubbins just above your head. both men look equally as excited and you cant help but feel yourself get heated. choptop leans over you, the tent in his bellbottoms rubbing so deliciously over your crotch. "stay real still for us now.." he whispered, hands trailing over your body. his hands were warm, light touches going over your chest and down to your thighs.

nubbins was fucking around with his pants, shoving them down with shaky hands before he desperately palms his cock through his dirty boxers. "theyre pr-pretty bobby..think they c-can take y' all?" he was staring down at you with crazed eyes. a small patch of precum was pooling up at the front of his boxers and if they werent removed soon it might drip onto your face.

choptop was already tearing your clothing off, his hands grabbing and scratching anything he could. nubbins was moaning above you, small high-pitched noises that came out paired with little puffs of air. "theyll be fine." he smiled at nubbins, pausing at your underwear. it looked hella beautiful on you..too bad! he reached into his pants pocket and held out a pocket knife. what the fuck was he doing? "hope these a-aint yer faves!" he chuckled.

you screamed as your underwear was cut in half. it left a bloody cut down the middle of your abdomen- neither seemed to care. bobby groaned at the sight, fishing his cock from his boxers. you could hear nubbins doing something similar and, after a quick glance at them both, you realized just what you were facing. nubbins' length rested on your cheek, heavy and full. it had more length than girth but you knew it would still reach your guts if you were taking him from the other end.

bobbys cock wasn't much different. maybe a little more girthy. neither of them seemed to shave and they both were uncut..and leaking. nubbins rubbed his cock up onto your face, watching closely at your expressions. you let out a pathetic mewl, squirming and trying to get away from the mess he was slowly creating on the couch.

you were too busy thinking about their cocks to notice the cold feeling on your neck. nubbins panted heavily, the blade against your jugular shaking from his grip. "careful with 'em, nubbins.." you heard bobby warn, spitting on his fingers and running them over your hole. you shivered at the feeling, shouting when he started shoving a finger into you. you cried, tossing your head back onto the other twins' lap and exposing more of your neck to him.

it hurt like a bitch. you already had a whole finger in you and you felt like it was too much. bobby pistoned his finger in and out of your heat, making sure to curl it. nubbins shifted his positioning, moving himself and your head just a little. he pressed his thumb into your mouth, prying your jaws apart and slowly pushing his dick through your lips inch by inch. he tasted rather salty, but it did keep you quiet.

you stared up at him, watching as he tilted his head back and let out a loud moan. if you had to guess, he hadn't been blown in a while - or ever. you at least tried to make this somewhat pleasurable, running your tongue down the underside of his shaft. nubbins whimpered, pulling his cock back before easing it in again.

you choked up around his dick, lifting your leg to accommodate whatever the fuck bobby was up to. a second finger was pushed into you, then a third. he seemed to be getting antsy. and he was. bobby was getting jealous of the treatment you were giving his brother and felt he needed attention too! his cock mattered too didnt it?

you groaned at the stretch, closing your eyes tightly. "thats it…" you heard bobby say. a little shuffling was the only warning you got before his fingers were removed and replaced with his cock. in your opinion, there wasnt enough lube. but you couldnt really speak your opinion due to nubbins' cock, so you defaulted to a loud scream and a gag.

bobby leaned down, his lean frame towering over yours. he pushed your shirt up, holding it to your shoulders. you whine loudly as the ac's cool breeze hit your nipples, though the uncomfortable freeze didn't last too long. choptop grazed his tongue over your hardened nipples, giving you a bit of warmth from the saliva. he nibbled and sucked and licked and thrusted. long and slow thrusts in and out of your hole. it was starting to feel good for you, fucking finally.

the two kept their pace relatively the same, pounding you from every angle they could. bobby kissed over your skin, leaving small bites and bruises in his path. his hips continued to slam into yours, heavy breathing cooling your hot skin. nubbins was in the same state, moaning and crying out every time your tongue dug into the slit of his tip. he seemed to be the more sensitive brother, the inexperienced one. despite the rather submissive noises he was making, he was a little more violent than bobby. he was the one holding a knife to your neck. he was the one holding your hair with one hand to aid him in fucking your head on his cock.

bobby was a lot more patient. he had sped his thrusts up, but he was still gentle. he held onto your hips, digging his blunt nails into your skin. "good fuckin' doll.." he would mumble, nipping your ear lobe every time he got closer to your neck. bobby made sure to keep an eye on his brother. while he didn't mind the extra meat, he would rather you stay alive during your ride back home. how else was he supposed to keep you in their shared room if you couldnt even walk yourself up the stairs? he wanted to hear you scream, man!

unfortunately for you, he wasn't able to stop his dear brother. nubbins got a little too excited and ran the knife across your bite-covered throat. he grunted, pressing the tip of his cock all the way to the back of his throat and shooting his load. it was warm, salty, and it was a lot. you werent worried about that though. what you were worried about was the fact you were actively bleeding and you were losing your vision. nubbins let his cock slip from your mouth, panting hard from the adrenaline his climax gave. "aw-…aw shit.." he muttered.

choptop groaned, relishing in the way your body tightened up around him. he followed soon after his brother, filling your hole with the same substance that was down your throat. he looked up, noticing how you were currently dying. literally. "god dammit nubbins!" he shouted, frowning. "i-i told ya to keep 'em livin'!! i dont want no corpse in our room!"

the boy scoffed, crossing his arms and looking down at you. neither of them seemed very concerned about how you were bleeding to death. "ah, fuck. now we better put this one out o' its misery…" bobby grumbled to himself, tugging his dick out of you and watching as his cum leaked out. he snapped back out of his thoughts at a gargled scream you attempted. bobby huffed, rolling his eyes as he buttoned his jeans and sliced your throat just a bit deeper, making you meet your end.

the last things you heard at the end of your time on the shithole planet of earth were two guys arguing about what to tell their older brother when they arrived home with a body full of cum. what a way to end your life huh? ---- how the hell do you end a book also its 2 am if you see any mistakes no you dont (thank you again for your request! again i deeply apologize for the delay <3)

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

Okay Takaaki shipping tierlist is here. From either my personal stuff, what I have found online or possibilities etc etc

Kijoaaki art belongs to @/s0va-idalin

Also uhhhh thanks for @/le-agent-egg for making me remember that the Naegi parents exist 😭

Update, I have a quick lil ramble utc. This mentions Takaaki x Mondo bc of the fic Change Machine

Okay so. I've read Change Machine. It's probably the only thing Takaaki and Mondo focused under the ship tag that actually HAS them in it together and are "shipped"

Me personally, I actually enjoyed it but it's because it genuinely has a good plot and isn't just sexual shit. It gives us a story about a sorta like........slow burn relationship but not really in a sense as they don't get together in the end. Also I want you to know that Mondo is an adult in the fic so no minor x adult

And the writing is genuinely good to make me enjoy it because again it's not just smut (it has a sex scene but you know what I mean) or anything r*pe-y.

But do I ship Mondo and Takaaki? No. I don't. It's weird and gross and wtf. But do I like Change Machine? Yes. It's enjoyable. Not everyone's cup of tea, but I do recommend at least giving it one read and you'll see what I mean by having good writing and a pretty good plot!

And if you call me a weirdo in the comments, I don't mind it. Just know that that's my opinion on the fic.

Again, I do NOT ship Mondo and Takaaki. This is just something I wanted to bring up.

[narugen]

idol!mina and her manager hoshina… OR OR idol!mina and idol!hoshina… GODDDD THE POSSIBILITIES whatever the case mina and kafka definitely auditioned together but only mina got through 😭😭😭😭 FUCK WHAT ABOUT PRODUCER HOSHINA augggggghhh

i’m going for idol x idol here:

idol!hoshina pinning after the new and upcoming rising star even though he should be kind of miffed that she overtook him on the charts bc he’s been in the industry for longer (maybe starting off as a child actor) ….. but he’s also been bedazzled by her brilliance so he isn’t even complaining… just trying to subtly get her attention as much as possible but she’s basically untouchable and OH MY GOD KAFKA BECOMING MINA’S MANAGER/BODYGUARD?!?? fending off the weirdos and kafka is like (eyebrow raise) what tye HELL do you want with MY MINA!!!! (in an older brother way) and hoshina is like Who the fuck do u think u r (pissed off) nobody’s ever seen hoshina angry before but oh kafka is met with hoshina’s attitude a LOT. okonogi (hoshina’s manager) is always on the verge of a breakdown

mina has NOOOO IDEA THIS IS EVEN HAPPENING BEHIND THE SCENES BC KAFKA ALWAYS MANAGES TO KICK HOSHINA OFF THE PREMISES LFMAOIFF but oh my god SURPRISE. mina was actually inspired by hoshina this whole time…..!!!!!!!!! and she rly REALLY likes him. goes to all his events and HAS BEEN going since she was a teen…. when she’s famous she just looks suspicious as FUCK at hoshina’s signings HELP ME

also prouder narumi who writes songs for mina because they’re #BESTIES okay and mina is like look the lyrics are cheesy but what do you think and narumi is like they’re gross as fuck. let’s do it. (supportive bestie who cringes at her GAY ASS LYRICS) bonus points if mina learns an instrument from him.

anddddd oh my god when they finally manage to speak to each other (mina finds out kafka has been RUINING HER FUCKING CHANCES and EXPLODES!!!!! kafka crode) and he goes over one day mina completely forgets about her #hoshinaroom where it’s just hoshina merch and oh my god wouldn’t it be so cute if baby mina had a pic with baby hoshina (by baby i mean like as kids maybe around 10 years old) bc her mum took her to see his play or whatever . PLEASEEEEEEWERFFKSSXOEOSOD i can’t

mina: make yourself at home (sweating buckets)

hoshina: okay! (goes exploring)

mina, when she sees him approaching The Room: WAIT NOT THERE (loudest she’s ever been)

but it’s too late because he’s opened the door and is greeted by PURPLE and his own face and she crumbles to the floor in pain

hoshina:

hoshina: erm

hoshina: (blushing furiously)

[mr-aftons-rotting-pussy]

ok but actually. i know i said this in the tags on ur post but genuinely i love ur faggy infinites i love ur attitude i love how u post whatever u want and put it in the main tags bc u are unapologetically urself when it is so easy to try and fit in. u have the confidence i aim to have for myself and it's so refreshing to see somebody who embraces being Weird <3 i've never engaged because i am unwell about people being aware of me but i've literally been lurking on you and the dog and hog gang for at least a year (i never really spoke much about liking them despite having interest for years) and. just. you're all so chill. the critical thinking, lack of judgement, this world needs more of that shit fr!! i hope u have a great day – good vibes from a transfag autism brained freak (and thank u for ur tags on my essay. i'm so glad other people care as much as me <3)

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I IWISJ I COULS ANSWER TJIS AND KEEP TJIS IM ,MY IMBOX FOREVER RAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO GLAD U LOVE MY BOYSSSSSSS<33333 RAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! i usually try n segment my replys to address every beat but this is so much........ to my liddle tiny heaet........ im ,iteralkly cyinf rnn can you tell????? UIVTBJVJBJVBKJ. this means. the world to me<33333 im glad<33 im glad i can inspire some of that in u<3 like for the longest time i was literally larping as one of the normies :sob: like i get it 100% the want 2 fit in and b accepted esp in fandom is strong but in my case it is utterlly unsustainable 2 follow the crowd. i cant pretend i dont like what i like. i cant pretend to be normal r have normal relationships 2 things r have normal opinions jnkjjkjbjk. and its hard!!!!!! there rlly isnt a real tangible space to be fucking insane and into weird n gross shit n etc in fandom like there is for the sanitized kiddy friendly stuff or the hyper horny stuff, its an awkward middle line 2 tread.(n im wayy too autistic 4 fandom anyways.... lol) and ik im not the only one. i wouldnt b able 2 be so unabashed and real and freaky w/o the support of all the amazing ppl ive met in my little freak circle<3333(IT IS SOOOOOO cheesey n cringe-sounding but im being so fr when i say my weirdoes n infinite the jackal saved my life<3333333333 i literally probably wouldnt even b alive today w/o em<333 thanks 2 all of u for helping me grow stronger btw hehe....)

Every day i choose to be insane and gross and a freak and a transexual faggot and autistic and TOO MUCH !!! for meself obv<3 but also for the ones i love and ppl like YOU!!!!!!!!!! >:D i cant change the world w just my little paws. but i CAN b crazy on main. i CAN show everyone that you dont have 2 be afraid of your own interests for fear of not being accepted in the greater fandom<333 even if these ppl never rlly come out of their shell... theres always someone, someplace out there thatll accept u. theres always more freaks, theres always more faggots<3 even if you never come out and yell it to the world if i could inspire just a tiny bit of this love in ppl thatd be enough for me :)

anyways. lol. kjnobjbiubjk thank you<33 a lot<3333 i mean it<333333 so many words i wish to say in this moment but ik you get it<3 mwamwa<333333333

life is short babey!!! dont be such a stranger okay ^_^

[onippep]

Who Else

Aaand breathe.

...gggguhh. S-sorry. That was. Uh. Super embarrassing.

...

...Thanks, for, uh. You know. Being... my crutch, yet again.

...Will you be good to work tomorrow?

...(shrug)

There might be stressors. I don't want you spiraling.

I can do it.

...

...Uh, if I need to-- need to leave, though, I will.

I don't want you to be alone at home.

What, I'm not gonna do anything. I'll go straight to bed.

Peppino...

The fuck you want me to do then? We can't just-- close the store for tomorrow. We need the cash. And we gotta take care of the weirdos living in our vents.

You should call Gerome.

A-- AH? WHAT? Why?! O-oni--

RrrrRrrr. Hang on. Hear me. You should call him, because this is making you feel like this. Maybe you two can have a talk about it.

Like FUCK am I ever gonna face those Pillars after hearing this today. Oni, that's a horrible idea. I can't do that.

...Gerome still cleans the shop, every weekend. Does the blood and stone on your hands still stain him? Even if it does, what does he do then? He still brings his broom and mop to our Pizzeria. He dedicates himself. No malice in any crevice no matter where you want to find it.

... What did you just--!? When did you get so--...

...

...(sniffles)... y'can't just.. assume that... he-- he.. could... he could be doin' this because he.... he...

...

(hic) good-- good god.. Oni, I don't know, it--

...Wouldn't do any harm to try. But only if you want.

Christ... (sob)

RrRrrrr... sorry... here...

Don't--

?

--Don't leave this spot with me. I need to think for a while.

Rrrrr.

...

...I don't want to alarm you, but I also remember.

(sharp inhale) Fucking-- no, seriously? O-oni that REALLY doesn't help right now-- wh-what do you MEAN you remember? What do you remember?!

The dread you felt. The grief. Terror. Remorse. The rotting dark muck inside of you every night that prevented you from sleeping. All of it--

(hyperventilating) oh god WHO ELSE r-remembers-- WHO ELSE-- shit-- SHIT--

RRrRrrrrrrRRrr...!! Peppino..! Here, here, hey!

YOU LIVE WITH ME AND YOU KNOW I WAS A COWARD! AND SPED THROUGH W-WITHOUT THINKING! I COSTED A LIFE, I--

I know. You don't have to believe me right now, but you need to know that this is okay. I do not hate you. Nobody hates you. Not even the ones that caused you such torment.

(harsh, heavy breathing)

Everything you have done outweighs the loss that could have been had. A miracle to a privilege to even be able to make this world even better. You took it. You did it. Peppino, you're amazing.

Igh...!! (gross sniffle) I'mgonnapassout...

Rest. Want to take a bath?

Th-th--that mi-- th-- (panting) Th-- that sounds-- great. Actually. C-can we? F-fuckin-- smooth talker, asshole--

Rrrrrrrrr. Let's get you calm... breathe again... rrrrr....

H-how do you know what exactly t-to say, I don't get it. Goddamn-- demon-- (breathing in, slowly, shakily, for a little while; starts to calm down)

...You... you care. Too much.

It's the least I can do.

[prozac-shaped-urn]

iiiiiii had a midday nap and this is what happened inside my brain during that time so maybe sit down and have a stiff drink at the ready cuz this shit is wild

AIGHT *clap* SO

when i dream it's usually not super vivid and i usually don't remember them but if it's a midday nap dream, IT'S BOTH

people: myself, j smith cameron (as herself), jean smart (as herself), and @marlboro-cowgirl (also as herself lmao and hereafter abbreviated as MC)

setting: what i'm assuming is jsc or jean's house i have no fucking idea but it's a really super nice house somewhere in cali, a bowling alley (this shit is wild i'm telling you), and a liquor store

dream starts out with me hanging out with jsc and jean in a very nice house. we're chillin out, doing nothing, listening to music and reading books. it's bright outside and i walk to a window to look at the ocean. jean asks me if i want something to drink and i'm like "nah i'm good, but i'm kinda hungry" (great manners katy) and jean's like "okay yeah! i can heat something up" and then jsc pipes up "i could use a drink though" and i giggle like roman roy for whatever fucking reason and jean goes "all i have is diet coke and water" and jsc shrugs "either is fine, just mix it with vodka"

ALKDSLKDFJSLKDF AJDL WHAT

so jean mixes jsc a vodka diet coke (ew) and hands it over while i'm staring at them like i'm watching some kind of live-action disney film. like my eyes are full of wonder and curiosity. oh, they're also in sunbathing attire. like floppy hats and sunglasses and sarong wraps n shit (idfk stay with me) so naturally i'm looking at all the places i shouldn't be bc ~in my dreams i can do what i fucking want~ fuck off.

jsc takes a sip of the vodka diet coke and winces like it's disgusting bc guess what IT IS jsc you fuckin weirdo. and then jean's like "you said mix it with vodka" and jsc's like "yeah but i didn't realize it would be this gross" and jean's like "we can go to the store but i have a bowling competition in an hour" and jsc is like "okay just get something else on your way back" and jean's like "alright fine whatever"

(side note: jean is an avid bowler so this part makes sense to me now that i'm thinking about it.)

that part of the dream ends and we do a DISSOLVE TO: transition like a goddamn film to the bowling alley and i'm there with jean and @marlboro-cowgirl (i have no idea babes my brain is fucked up as you are FULLY aware of) and jean is bowling her ass off and MC is smoking her vape while i'm eating a burger and fries and dr pepper. jean gets done with her streak--bowls a turkey--and sits down to join us. MC is like "great streak! you're super skilled at that." and jean's like "thanks :) you shouldnt be smoking." and MC goes "yeah… but it's better than other shit i could be doing. like heroin. or growing a baby." and jean doesnt know how to respond so she just nods her head with raised eyebrows like *yep these kids are fucked upppp* and then she's like "should we go get j something to drink? it's getting late." and i nod and MC is like "yeah let's fucken roll" LKDALDKJFAL DKFJADL so we leave and go to a liquor store

the three of us peruse the aisles and grab whatever the hell alcohol we want. i get smirnoff green apple and goldschläger, MC gets tennessee whiskey and cranberry juice and some high quality brand of rum i cannot remember the name of, and jean grabs a bottle of chinaco tequila a six pack of regular coke and a six pack of sprite. we go to the checkout stand and pay for our drinks and head out to the car (we're in MC's challenger for some reason--probably the turbo orgasm on wheels engine. also no idea how we got to your car since jean and i supposedly left in hers DREAMS ARE WEIRD OKAY) and head back to the nice house

we get to the nice house and unload our shit on the kitchen counter and jsc smiles and nods her head in approval at the selection before her and pours a hefty shot of goldschläger and downs that bitch like a P R O no grimace to be seen anywhere on her face and jean stares at her like she's just eaten a cockroach. jsc shrugs like *what?! it's good!* and jean just shakes her head in bewilderment. i'm grinning like the village idiot at this whole thing and MC is gnawing on her vape and looking at me looking at them with the most exasperatedly amused expression.

so MC takes her booze and juice and leaves the three of us to our own devices (thanks a lot babes lmao) and i'm in this house with jsc and jean and they're trying to outdo each other by taking shots of tequila, vodka and goldschläger and not making faces. like…… a LOT of shots. jsc gets giggly drunk and jean has to sit down on the kitchen floor bc she's spinning so much. i take a few shots in the there too (vodka or goldschläger only bitch) so i'm also kinda giggly drunk and i go to put the vodka in the freezer to keep it cold and jsc stops me with a hand on my arm and chastises me like my fucking mother "NEVER put alcohol in the freezer." and i'm like "uhhhh why? it's where i store my vodka." and she goes "it worsens the taste. keep it room temperature or in a wine cooler." and i'm like *mkay so #1 that was hot. #2 yes ma'am i will keep my vodka on my counter. #3 i'm too drunk to try and hide any smirks or wandering gaze* so i just straight up stare at her cleavage and nod like a mute idiot.

i go sit back down in the chair i was in earlier and start listening to music and jsc and jean do whatever in the kitchen and then i woke up.

moral of the dream: this grit fic has permeated my subconscious, jsc posting that "party at gerri's!" tweet yesterday evidently did something to my brain, and i should never put alcohol in the freezer.

[transsexula]

Hmmm maybe if you specifically have people in your DNI that are my mutuals…. Maybe…. You shouldn’t reblog my shit. Perhaps.

[runaways-withme]

whenever someone says dumb shit like y’all will be like if u talk to ppl outside u wld know how wrong you are lol its like this post someone wrote here x.

but besides that, like do y’all think everyone on tumblr university lives in the same area with the same social climate? like obviously ppl do say bullshit on here n can get away with it by being like “uwu”  then but then u blame it all on misinformation online as if their aren’t real people (specifically adults) who genuinely believe this and aren't just 15 and misguided. Obviously Tumblr shouldn't be the primary source but if i never been on this webbedsite i would still be  ignorant (full disclosure i was never an alt-right person thats obviously not a regular phase ppl go through thats terrifying) . I live in a blue state that ppl can get away with being bigoted just because they are a centrist who does the bare minimum of friendliness. People here Romanize cops and the military and its normal for people to be homophobic etc. like if I went off completely on what people I know in real life I would be a bootlicker just bc a cop was nice to me in elementary school and all the us marines ads on tv that i remember looing up too even though i had no interest in actually joining lol I was like war heroes 

like idk u also cant be like the internet is a powerful tool n get mad bt misinformation but then on things u dont care abt ur like “this doesn't exist in real life lol”.

TLDR:  if u think something is dumb just say its dumb its not hard

[hopeclown]

Anyways im gonna snap

[hotxcheeto]

Hey! Can you pls do Ellie x fem!reader smut where ellie and reader are best friends yet and ellie becomes jealous (cause reader was ironically flirting with a guy) and gets drunk and becomes super confident. And for punishments there will be spankings alot, and if you want so you can add strap-on too, and alot dirty talking.

Sorry this is my first time requesting someone about something online so sorry if it was wierd😭

━ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) - Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader 

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Cursing, kissing, alcohol, SMUT, vaginal fingering ( r! receiving ), vaginal oral sex ( r! receiving ), vaginal strap on use ( r! receiving ), mentions of saliva, sweat, rough sex, not a ton of aftercare, lowkey mean! ellie, best friends to lovers, dom!ellie, sub!reader, drunk sex, light choking, cum eating?, mentions of cum, mentions of bruises, half assed fight between reader and ellie ?, very happy ending

𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ? - Yeah/Nope

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - WHOA this took me so fucking long to write, it is also very long like ellies di–, but I'm proud of it so fucking much, ily you anon and if you want a peak into why IT TOOK SO FUCKING LONG check out my end author's note :)))) ily anon <3

REBLOGS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED - I KNOW WHO YOU ARE :)

"Stop acting so awkward."

Ellie scoffed at this, watching you replace her hands on your hips. Wrapping your arms around her neck, you then smiled.

"See? Not so bad." "Speak for yourself." She smirked down at you when you pouted, even lightly chuckling at your expression.

"Fine, I'll find a hot guy to dance with." You couldn't leave though, realizing that after trying to pull away, her grip on you too tight to even make a move to walk off.

"Yeah, not a chance. The song will be over by then." She shrugged it off though you could see right through those green eyes of hers.

"Huh, good point. But there will be other songs?" You were somewhat tipsy, feeling on cloud nine, and Ellie could very much tell. Finding it both endearing and adorable.

"Not as good as this one." "What about that one song we listen to all the time?" Ellie shook her head, swinging around as you giggled. "That's our song, no way am I letting some fucker make it his." You nodded, drunkenly agreeing with her, so much it made her chuckle.

"Agree."

Ellie continued dancing with you in silence, watching you look around for a few seconds and then back to her. Admiring her face with a calm expression on your own.

"You're really pretty." You then whispered, messing with the ends of her hair that she wore half up. "Thanks." Ellie whispered, hearing you laugh in response. "You're so awkward.. it's cute."

The song ended as you spoke, pulling back from her and holding her shoulders.

"I'm gonna get some water." You then said quietly, patting her upper arm before nodding. "Okay–"

She barely got another word out before you walked your way to the bar, leaning against it with a mission in mind.

"Just water please." You mumbled, Seth seeming to understand while you rested yourself on the bartop.

"Hey there." You turned your head, a guy standing beside you obviously drunk and with a gross smile on his face. "Hi, weirdo."

The filter on your words was gone, resting your chin on your palm while grabbing the water from Seth.

"Aw, that's not nice princess." You rolled your eyes, taking a gulp of the liquid. "Well I'm not a nice princess." The slur in your words was much more obvious then you meant it.

Fully aware of what was happening, yet you didn't seem to care.

"I can see that. Good thing I like princesses who don't like to listen." You grimaced internally and your face cringed, taking another drink. "Well aren't you prince charming." You said sarcastically, batting your eyes at the man who clearly couldn't read tone nor body language.

Or maybe he was too drunk to care.

"I can be, especially behind closed and locked doors." You laughed at this, slowly finding it more funny by the minute. "Well, with three inchest you have to be." You winked at him, drinking the last of the water while the guy gathered in his mind what you'd say.

His smile slowly falling while you began to look around for Ellie. Missing her presence until you seen her standing a little ways down the bar, sulking and chugging down a drink that you were sure wasn't water. Her eyes locking with your own.

"C'mon, trust me, it's a lot bigger than that." "I'll take your word for it." You nodded, waving over Seth for more water. "What, are you like.. into girls?" "If I was, wouldn't make a difference." You shrugged, his eyebrow raising.

"Why not?" "Well, handsome, your personality is awful. You weren't making me feel anything but uncomfortable." He huffed, sitting down on a barstool with his eyebrows furrowed together.

"I didn't mean that, man." "It's okay... at least you have a pretty face." He snorted, his face turning red in just the slightest as he looked away.

"Hey." A hand soon landed its way , the smell of vodka filling your nose as well as the old cologne that you loved of hers. You told her you loved it too, and afterwards you swore she wore it more than ever.

"Hey Ells." She smiled for just a second or two, examining your face as you greeted her. "This is my friend..." You trailed off, looking at him as you set your head on your palm, waiting for him to answer but he seemed focused on you.

"Uh, sorry, Ben." He introduced to the both of you, but his eyes never left yours while you glanced to Ellie. "He was telling me about his bedroom skills, which I'm very impressed by." The sarcasm didn't come off as well as you would've liked, watching Ben's face change at your words into a blushing mess.

"All jokes.." "Aw, don't get shy now that she's here." You winked to him, but when looking back to your best friend her face was completely fallen. Glaring the guy down like he'd personally attacked her with his presence.

The glow of the bar suddenly felt hot, the lights a bit too bright for your liking. Suffocating you where you sat in the warm room, Ellie's hand still on your back where she preferred it.

"Alright Ben, I think we should get going. My best friend here is a bit particular about her bedtime." You slid away from the bar, giving him a grin.

"I'll see you another time." "Ye– yeah." He nodded, waving you off as you wrapped yourself around Ellie's forearm, giggling to yourself as you both walked off.

It was silent for a time being, entering the cold air of the Wyoming night. The wind strong and whipping leaves and trees around like they were nothing but obstacles in its way.

You turned your head, resting your face on Ellie's upper arm as you stared up at her. Obviously pissed off while her eyes stayed straight ahead of you both.

"What's wrong?" "Nothing." She said a bit too quickly, barely looking to you as you both continued on down the road. "No, something. What's got your boxers in a twist?" Ellie huffed, both of you coming up to her little home, Ellie pulling away from you to grab her keys.

"I said it's nothing." "You're such a liar." You smiled, the door being pushed open, Ellie pushing you inside first.

"But since you're so up in arms.." You kicked off your shoes, unzipping the fluffy sweater you thought went perfect with your outfit earlier. Now, in hindsight, was a bit too hot to keep on at the bar.

"...I'll sleep on the couch tonight." You moved to take off your shirt, revealing your thin white tank top underneath, giving away your black bra.

"That way you don't have to look at me." "Who the fuck said that?" Ellie scoffed, looking at you while taking off her own jacket and converse. "Well you wouldn't even shift your pupils to look at a third of me! So I'm sleeping on your uncomfortable ass couch, since you suddenly hate me."

You, turned away from her, unhooking your bra while facing the couch.

Nearly laughing at your own lies coming from your mouth, but drunk Ellie was just too cute to not get flustered. Her cheeks reddening and an astonished look on her face at the fact that you weren't going to sleep beside her.

"You're ridiculous." "Is it because I was talking to that guy?" You turned to her, dropping the garment onto the ground while adjusting your tank top once more. "Are you jealous?"

"Of what?"

"You were already weird about me talking to guys. Boyfriends are temporary Ellie, best friends are forever."

You laughed as you spoke, turning to unbutton your jeans while huffing at her childish behavior.

"You would've ditched me the second he asked to take you home." She sounded both sad and disappointed, like how a kicked puppy would sound as a human. You snorted, looking over your shoulder at her with a glare.

"You're a dick. You know that isn't true, you're just drunk and pissed off." You turned to her as you tugged your jeans down, stepping out of your clothes and grabbing a pair of pajama pants.

"Yeah fucking right, I bet you wanted him." Then there was the anger. You held the pants in your hand, staring at her with an expression that only could be described as offended.

"No, I have other jealous assholes on my mind, but thanks for asking." You turned around, facing away from her while unfolding the pair while looking at the many sketches on her wall above her desk.

Some of you, some of your friends and her horse. Others of things you'd seen before or of her favorite things. Even some of yours.

You didn't even get a chance to put your leg into the pants before her hands found your bare hips. Running over the waistband of your thin white underwear and over your stomach, pushing up your tank top.

"Oh yeah?" You could've stopped breathing at the sound of her low voice right beside your ear, whispering so quiet if she wasn't so close you wouldn't of heard.

So close that you could practically smell the alcoholic stroke of confidence that seemingly dawned on her. Along with the smugness of her posture.

You swallowed roughly, turning your head in just the slightest.

"Yeah, actually. The one that can't dance to save her life, to be specific." You looked down at Ellie's hands over your flesh, messing with the band, and it suddenly hit you.

You felt bare for the first time, despite having stripped in front of her so many times. This was your best friend, yet you shifted nervously, unable to think a coherent thought through the few beats of silence that passed.

You felt, your entire face hot and your body no longer running cold from the outdoors. You were burning, choking on your own throat, feeling her right behind you.

Brushing against your ass with her pelvis, breathing against your neck. She just couldn't help but to take you all in.

A low hum then came from her throat, one of her hands rising from your waist. Over your belly and up to your neck, lightly grabbing your jaw and turning your head to face her.

"But according to her I wanted the fuck little dick Ben."

Your lips just barely hovered over her own, you could feel her breath against your lips.

Taking it in like she was your oxygen, like you needed her to keep living.

"How low do you think of me?" You smiled with false confidence, meeting her glazed out pupils, dilated on your face, her own inching closer with each second.

"I've heard you talk about worse."

"And you're gonna be better?"

Words could only describe her reaction, gripping you roughly, her fingers turning white and your skin erupting in delicious discomfort and pain.

"Someones upset."

Silently she moved, dipping into your panties, knuckles brushing over the formed wet spot making her bite back a smile and your body's eagerness awaiting her.

Then, down she went to your already aching cunt, fluttering against her touch.

Your hand latching to her forearm as she did so, the girl only testing the waters, watching your reaction like it was the last thing she'd ever see. Like a rare flower blooming for once in a million years. Ellie couldn't look away even if she tried.

"We still gonna be friends after this?" You whispered, the pad of her middle finger circling your clit, your chest rising and falling as you took deep breaths.

"No. Far from it." You opened your mouth to speak just as she applied pressure to your sensitive bud. Your legs nearly giving out underneath your weight, a girlish noise passing your lips.

"Oh.. please.." You gripped her arm tighter, creating little crescents in her freckled flesh, a small grumble passing her lips. Something silently inside her wished those marks would stay forever as a reminder of the events that were and were going to occur

"El..."

Something about her nickname passing your lips that made her want to get you withering in her grasp. Something about the damn nickname made her think that for a long time. Or maybe it was because it was you saying it.

"Please.." The grip around your body was strong, still roughly playing with your clit while watching you struggle to stand.

Ellie hated to admit it, and she never would, but the amount of times the thought of you like this had made its way into her mind should've made her feel ashamed. Guilty.

And it did, to look at you. But she lived with it eating her alive.

And now she'd live with the regret of not acting on it sooner.

But now the shame was washing itself away, colliding with your little whines, those thoughts and noises losing the shape of themselves in the stuffy room already filled to the brim with lust and love.

"You feel so good." She muttered, kissing your neck. "Fuck Ellie..." As her pace picked up between your thighs, your entire body fought the urge to squeeze your legs tightly around her hand.

A sudden slap was then landed to your ass causing your entire body to jolt in surprise. A shriek tumbling from your mouth along with a few strangled moans.

"Couch." Was all she said stopping her motions that had you shaking, breathing so heavy you couldn't say a word, sweat lightly coated your flesh and forehead.

You mumbled something disappointedly, Ellie's light laughter filling your ears.

Though ignoring your fallen high, you waltzed over to the area, stripping of your clothing on the way, still holding onto the sliver of control you had.

Slipping out of your underwear and turning around as you pulled off your tiny top, tossing it away to find in the morning, then again she'd probably keep it for another night you'd have a sleepover.

"You should drink more often, it's cute." You said quietly as your thoughts began to catch up with you, sitting down on the couch and pulling your knees to the chest.

Her green eyes trained on you like a predator its prey.

"Yeah.. cute. I'm sure Ben would think you look real fucking cute." She then muttered, alcohol laced between her words, coming over and setting a hand on your bare thigh, trailing down your calf as she lowered herself to her knees.

"Especially like this."

Without hurry, she spread your legs, her gaze finally leaving your face and down to your soaked cunt.

It made you run hotter than you already were, sure you were blushing despite it not being visible. Without realizing you held your breath, like waiting for a dangerous stunt to be done and watching from the sidelines, you were worried.

It had you suddenly insecure, wanting to run away and pretend it never happened. And you guessed the emotions were visible in your eyes, because as soon as she looked at you again, she leaned in.

Pressing a light kiss to your inner thigh, then another, before suddenly spanking you once more. Your entire body shuddering as you breathed, feeling her rubbing over the sore skin.

"Stop looking at me like you're scared of me." You relaxed, focusing on her thumb rubbing circles on your ass. "Sorry." You whispered.

"Please just fuck me already." And it seemed like those words were all that she wanted to hear. That she had been silently begging to hear for so long, dreaming of it even, both literally and figuratively.

And just like that, she leaned it, taking a long lick up your cunt.

You choked completely, head falling backwards and mouth going agape.

"Oh my fuck–" You picked your head up, meeting her green eyes with your own, stomach heaving as you tried to catch your lungs up with the rest of your body.

"Fuck that feels so good–" Her tongue swirled around your clit, a sound admitting from her lips when you dragged your nails through the front of her hair and along her scalp.

It gave you a better view of her face, the vibration from her mouth sending goosebumps up your spine.

"Fuck you look so pretty–" You huffed, pushing her hair off her neck.

Her tongue moved in and out of you before she moved back up to your clit, sucking it harshly while her fingers made her way to your hole.

"Ellie.. fuck!" Your head fell back once more, digging into Ellie's scalp at the same time her fingers sunk into your cunt making you whimper in return.

"I wonder if Ben's thinking about me right now.." You teased through your huffs, chest falling and rising while you played with her hair. Her digits moving in and out at an agonizing pace.

"Y'know he wasn't half bad, terrible flirting though.." "Y/n... I'm telling you now, shut up." You pouted, squirming as she picked up her face, little whines leaving your throat.

"Fuck.." You breathed,

"..kind of wish he asked a girl for a drink though."

With that Ellie pulled away, grabbing your face with her other hand.

"You want something in your mouth?" You grinned up at her, not getting the chance to say a word before her fingers invaded your face, tongue running along each limb on instinct.

"You like how you taste?" Lightly, you grabbed her wrist while moving to sit on your knees, pulling her hand from your mouth.

"Are you gonna fuck me now.. I'm bored." Her hand then pushed passed the both of yours, gripping your throat forcing you to tilt your head up.

"Lay down, you fucking brat." She smiled down at you, her tone playful yet serious. "Make me."

Ellie reached down, peeling off her shirt revealing her sports bra to you. then moving down to her jeans.

"Fuck, you're such a dick." You smiled, moving into help unbutton her pants, the girl smashing her lips on yours for the first time the entire night.

"Fuck you taste good." She mumbled, slowly pushing you backwards as you unzipped her bottoms. "I don't want you talking to that asshole anymore." She then slurred, shoving you back onto the cushions while kicking off her pants.

"Is that so?" "Turn over you–" "You what?" You smirked as she flipped you over onto your belly, hand caressing your ass for a mere second before pain erupted through your flesh. A loud 'smack' filling the room.

"Sorry, it's just so tempting." She muttered, coming up beside your head and kissing your neck, biting at anything she could get her mouth on causing groans of pleasure to surpass your mouth.

Her entire body leaned against your own, it was heavy yet perfect like she could lay there forever, and you wouldn't have a care in the word.

Perfectly laid against you, like she was made for it.

"Oh my God just fuck me already." "Strap?" You felt her palm run over your sore skin, kissing you soft behind the ear. "Mhm, please." "There are your manners." She patted your butt, as if she was proud of you before sitting up.

"You keep your strap, under the couch?"

"Better than it falling out of my closet in front of Joel while I look for something so fucking specific that he's asking about."

You snorted, trying to ignore the sensation of one of her fingers teasing your aching hole. Keeping you on edge as she spoke, waiting on you to respond despite the predicament she was slowly tying you in.

"You sound like– like–" Her finger slipped in, a gasp sounding from your lips, turning your head a bit to look over your shoulder.

"What?" "Like it's happened before." You finished, pushing your body towards her hand making her completely pull away from you.

A low noise of disappointment coinciding with a pout on your face. Your patience wearing thin, but you weren't planning on going anywhere, far too needy now.

"Don't be greedy." "M'sorry."

It wasn't long after that you felt the silicone head of her fake cock press against your clit, your breath hitching in your throat. You forced yourself not to move, silently pleading with her to fuck you without a word coming out, because god you wanted her dick and you weren't gonna upset her again.

Not on purpose anyway. But Ellie just found you so adorable to tease.

"What's the magic word?" A line she'd said to you so many times in much more platonic meanings then this. All of those situations popping back into your head as you whispered,

"please."

"Good girl."

Then she pushed herself inside of you, your mouth falling agape while your head fell forward squishing your cheek into the cushion of the couch.

Ellie wasting no time, beginning to move her hips, finding a fluid motion within her first few strokes. Her body discovering a perfect pace that had you reaching back for her.

Loud girly whines and moans like music to your partners ears, a smirk on Ellie's face as she stared at the side of your own. All beautiful and laid down just for her to fuck, hand trying to grab her own.

"Y/n... fuck you look so pretty." You felt like every nerve was on fire, Ellie fucking herself into you, running against your walls with each thrust. The hand not holding your own reaching in just the slightest, harshly pressing your swollen clit.

"Oh fuck.." You muttered, tearing your hand away from Ellie's, gripping the couch as Ellie picked up her pace faster then you could comprehend.

"Oh m– my fu–fuck Ell–ie–ie–" It had been so long and she was so intoxicating, her cologne being the only thing you could smell, the faint light of her bedroom swallowing you whole.

You felt drunk, drunker than you already were, your mind fuzzy and invaded by thoughts of Ellie's strap.

"That feel good babe?" "M–mhm–m–" You nodded quickly, her fingers circling your clit again and again, and you couldn't get enough.

Squirming as she pounded into you, fingers digging deep into your hips sure to leave bruises sure to be admirable in the morning.

Your stomach began to tighten, it becoming harder to breath as your release edged closer.

"You think Ben could've fucked you like this?" You nearly didn't catch her words, muttering something out in a babbled response.

"Answer me Y/n." You tried your hardest to collect your words, picking them up like a basket of apples that fell out all over the floor. Scraping them while shaking your head.

"N–no he– couldn't–" She smiled even wider, looking over her marks on your ass and hips, watching you shake as her fingers danced around your abused bud.

"You gonna come? Hm?" "Y–yeah–" She laughed, leaning over your body once more, her pace becoming agonizingly slow. Her lips beside your ear, but her fingers never stopped making you cry out as she kissed your neck.

"Go on..." Your eyes shifted along with your head, meeting her eyes through your blurry ones. Mouth hanging wide but no noises were coming out, legs shaking as you came around her silicone dick and fingers.

Ellie's lips landing on your own as you practically screamed, all mof it swallowed up by her, fingers never stopping despite your squirms and movements to get away from her.

"To–oo– much–" You shook your head, her forehead pressed against your own, the girl only laughing. Kissing the tip of your nose. "M'not done babe." You shivered at the tone of her voice, so sweet and calm, as if she was comforting you.

Yet there was this underlying excitement, dominance, the girl so eager to make you come undone again.

She paused, only for a moment, sitting up again, the silicone strap snug deep in your pussy as she allowed you to calm yourself. But only for a moment.

"Don't tell me you're tapping out now?" "M'not." You mumbled, wiping your mouth as Ellie jerked her hips. A little 'oh' sound filling her ears.

"Fine then."

Gripping your hips she slammed you back into her, a thump coming from your ass hitting her pelvis. Ellie not paying any mind to your pleas and begs as she fucked into you, watching the fake dick disappear inside of you again and again.

Knowing that it was her.

"El–El–" Tears welled in your eyes once more, leg falling off the couch but it didn't matter how close you were from slumping right off the couch. Ellie's grasp on you was tight and she wasn't letting go, the low noises of her hips driving into your own filling up the room in a flood of pleasure.

Sweat coating your body and tears falling down your face, humming with your mouth slack.

You couldn't feel your thighs, whether it be the alcoholic climax or your lack of sexual activity in months. You didn't know, you only knew her name, you could only think about her and how she was making you feel.

Ellie was the only thing you could think of, and she knew it. A shit-eating grin on her as her fingers played with your clit, lightly hitting it just a few times to get a reaction out of you.

"That feel good? That feel good pretty girl?"

Ellie knew damn well you couldn't speak, she liked it that way, hearing you babble nonsense at her while trying to look over your shoulder.

But you couldn't quite pick your pretty little head up and each time you did, a little slap on your clit brought it right back down. Your cunt filled by her and so was your head, and she loved it. Because you were her best friend, that's how it should be.

Ellie was the only person who could do this, before and now, because she was your best friend and she knew you better than anyone. You would be stupid if you thought differently.

But now you couldn't, fucked dumb on her couch, by her.

"You gonna come Y/n?" "Mhm." You nodded so much your neck hurt, your entire body haven given up on its own strength inside relying on Ellie's hands keeping you snug against her hips.

"Fuck Y/n.. you did so good, huh?" You hummed again while nodding, Ellie biting her lip as she fucked you harder. Deciding to pay special attention to your clit once more, but this time her pace never slowed.

"Come babe... come on my fucking cock."

Ellie's grip on your hips was deliciously painful as you screamed, her hips drilling into your own, body bouncing on the silicone with no mercy to any of your muscles.

Wound and broken as you came, the dick slowing but her fingers not having the same compassion, coating the cock in your juices and the blanket covered couch with your cum.

Then for a few quiet moments, all that could be heard was both of your heavy breaths. Your body slumped against the cushions, drool covering your mouth and sweat shared on both of your limbs.

Your eyes falling heavy despite the uncomfortable position you were now consciously aware of. Legs shaking and body sore, you still just wanted her, like a drug that you needed to be okay.

You only felt her pull out, the emptiness having you left feeling cold, bare as her body was no longer aligned with yours.

Then you were out, darkness enveloping you just as Ellie returned to clean you up.

And when you awoke the next morning you were no longer in any clothes that were yours, nor your own bed or that uncomfortable couch you claimed you were going to sleep on.

You were snuggled against a body, with a familiar scent of cologne lingering in the fabric of the hoodie you'd gotten for her.

Your darling best friend girlfriend.

a/N: so ANXIETY TW ---- my dad sent me into a panic attack on saturday or this would've been up yesterday but all is fine now we are not on talking terms but I do live with him because I'm young and have no other options :) but it was over transgender rights, and he wants me to apologize because I see trans people as fucking people

yeah kiss my ass I'm not saying sorry because I'm not fucking sorry

[thewiscryptid]

SHE’S SO BROKEN INSIDE -- C - R - A - Z - Y !!

a reboot of my sentence starters for crazy ex girlfriend season 1 please change any pronouns/words to make it more applicable for your usage! some mature themes apply!

“This is what Happy feels like. This is what I’m supposed to feel like.”

“Why aren’t you happy?!”

“You didn’t even break skin and you inconvenienced a lot of people.”

“Remember you said that if I was in the neighborhood I should give you a buzz? Well… BUZZ!”

“I’m taking a few of these until my business cards come in, just so if anyone asks why I’m here, I can say ‘It’s for work! It’s legitimate!.”

“Because you’re pretty and you’re smart and you’re ignoring me so you’re obviously my type.”

“I’m not good for much but I do know it’s not right to hook up with a crying girl.”

“You half Italian? I can always tell.”

“He should be a search term on porn sites.”

“He made me feel warm inside— like glitter was exploding inside me.”

“I’m not in love. That would be stupid.”

“I’m crazy and I’m irrational and I’m everything my mother ever said I was.”

“If we play this right, it’s gonna hit him like a bag of nails to the balls.”

“Could we have a postmortem on the whole make out-crying situation?”

“Bras are in aisle one.”

“I’m going to gracefully exeunt and be chased….by a bear.”

“Maybe I will throw my saddle on that filly and take her for a ride around the paddock. ...Wow. Men are disgusting.”

“They spread a rumor that I slept with the English teacher! Which was totally a lie because we only did hand stuff!”

“Of course we’re friends because what other agenda could I possibly have?”

“I want to cut the silky hair right off your head and slurp it up like spaghetti.”

“We were just being cute! Cute kissing! For attention!”

“I can’t be friends with women. Everyone wants to have sex with me!”

“I’m going to go out on a limb and say that telling the truth from the beginning was probably the right option.”

“Luna bars are for women. I think they have menstrual blood in them or something.”

“A true friend loves you no matter what, even if your downward dog is horrible.”

“Now, if someone pulls a gun on me, I pull out my knife!”

“Come sit on my lap like I’m Santa and listen to me—”

“Put those things away, you’re going to poke a kid’s eye out.”

“I don’t leave when there’s whiskey left.”

“It was weird and sad and kinda beautiful in a pure and unironic way.”

“You’re really starting to fit in here. That’s not a compliment.”

“She’s seriously ‘bonker balls’.”

“The last thing you need right now is a conversation with a pathological narcissist!”

“How are you? UTIs under control?”

“Hey, don’t skate sad!”

“Let’s leave the children outta here for a sec.”

“Shut up, I love that fire! It’s my favorite fire!”

“How could a guy with a man bun know what’s authentic?!”

“You took some guy home from our date and SLEPT with him? What’s WRONG with you?!”

“I make no sense and you shouldn’t waste your time on me, can’t you see that?”

“I have an IQ of 164. On the entire SAT, I only got two questions wrong and in subsequent years, those questions were removed for being misleading.”

“You are a good person. He is a good person. …. We are good person.”

“What do you want me to say, people? That she doesn’t have the softest hair? And that I don’t watch her while she sleeps? Because I do! She’s an Angel.”

“She had flyaways! I can’t have her walking around like that.”

“You know I want to turn you in so much, because you’re an actual piece of human garbage.”

“Can I get a free beer? I’m down like $10,000.”

“My parents are alive. They’re just frigid and unloving.”

“Parents love brown nosers but men? Men love a woman who looks like me.”

“Chicken soup is just gross, hot, fat water.”

“I got a tongue scraper! Things are looking hhhhhhhexcellent.”

“Look at you, old man. You loooose! You have tubes in your face!”

“You promised me a drink and I got tired of waiting.”

“It was like Pearl Harbor meets the movie Pearl Harbor.”

“Why does Netflix always want me to watch Leaving Las Vegas? Is it trying to tell me something?”

“That basset hound could benefit from a juice cleanse.”

“Twilight is only the greatest love story since Shakespeare… in Love!”

“I needed that sage to cleanse the house of evil spirits. Ghosts are obsessed with me.”

“Do I really need to tell you to not take a pill from off the bathroom floor?!”

“I’m not going to listen to you. You talk silly.”

“I’m half of him so I am half of what you hate!”

“I’m glad you stood up to me because when the Cossack’s come, I know you’ll survive!”

“I want to melt into the chair like a butter lady.”

“Get realsies with me or I’m outskies.”

“Thanks for showing my boyfriend your cervix.”

“Charm and wit is a weird name for your boobs.”

“Where am I? Who am I? Am I in the Matrix? Am I Neo?”

“If you can’t even send me a whole word, then I’m not taking my clothes off for you. At least send an emoji. A chipmunk eating a block of cheese. I get that. I’m coming over.”

“Be the boat. Don’t be the hole. Nobody likes the hole.”

“Oh, you know what people say. One person’s blackmail is another person’s love story.”

“Okay, you can sleep at the foot of my bed tonight. Like a dog. …. Please don’t look so excited.”

“Oh, I don’t like her. She looks like she orders everything on the side.”

“He looks like a Kennedy. But a sober one.”

“What’s a pretty, showered girl like you doing here?”

“I think my life is a giant turd.”

“Why doesn’t he love me? Why doesn’t anyone love me? Why am I so alone?”

“I don’t want to say I don’t like anyone as much as you … but I just said it.”

“Love does not last in my life. I’m loveless.”

“I want to haunt Hitler and make him rethink a few things.”

“She’s not just a kid! She’s your daughter, you ass!”

“Oh, come on! Let’s make bad decisions together! We could run into traffic!”

“I’m not a sourpuss. I’m pensive and deep.”

“Are we being pleasant now? Sorry. I don’t know your rules.”

“He has the flat top of a Greek God.”

“If it were any other situation, I would take off my heels, my earrings and my extensions and curb stomp you.”

“Chasing someone who isn’t into you is a terrible move.”

“You have been Single White Female-ing me since you got here.”

“I have, like, the smartest face here.”

“Boo work and life and clothing.”

“You need to realize that ‘U up?’ is text speak for ‘are you horny?’.”

“You gotta force love, everyone knows that.”

“You weirdo face, put me down!”

“You just scooped me up like a basket of muffins…— PUT ME DOWN!”

“Why is he always talking about his theater major?! I know a lot of theater majors! They don’t talk about it! They just are!”

“I appreciate you Schwarzenegger-ing out back there.”

[elithegnome]

Hey there, call me Eli! I’m everyone’s favorite local clown.

Outsiders Sideblog: @stay-gold-bitch

Classic Rock Sideblog: @kisstytea

ABOUT ME: Eli •Pronouns: Idgaf but She/They/He if you want specifics •Languages: English 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Norwegian (kind of) 🇳🇴

I really enjoy Hetalia, so most of my posts on this blog are about that. Sometimes I’ll write fanfiction/headcanons and if you have any requests please send them in!

Oh and classic rock. I got into KISS at seven years old when I watched the scooby doo movie they did with the band, I’ve been sinfully in love with Paul Stanley ever since. Queen and Mötley Crüe are other favorites of mine.

However, I do have a few rules! (which will be updated often)

•Please do not say anything that could offend someone else. This means anything Misogynistic, Homophobic, Sanist, Ableist, etc. So if you don’t have something nice to say, please don’t say it at all! •I will NOT write/post that involves Incest, Pedophilia or anything along that line, that is disgusting and inhumane. •Unless you’re a trusted mutual, don’t DM me, unless it is involved with requests and/or q&a. To request, please type it in the Ask Me Anything section of my page! •If it makes me uncomfortable, it will not be posting or writing it, simple as that •Do not ask me anything creepy •Don’t comment anything gross please!!!! •Also don’t try to flirt with me unless it’s a joke, because I’m not really open to online relationships and I’ve had issues in the past with weirdos flirt with me (in person and online) •Racism is for losers, don’t be racist here •My grandmother died of suicide and I’ve suffered with depression since I was very young, so I don’t want ANY sort of suicide joke to be anywhere near my blog. If you need help with your mental health please contact your national/local line. •Adding to the previous statement, I may sometimes give updates on my own mental health progress, if you don’t like that and want me to stick to this blog’s “usual content” , then you can leave. This is my blog, not yours •I do in fact self ship and ship other people I know with characters, I can see why you’d not like that and I completely understand but don’t attack the people I’ve mentioned or myself about it. •If I don’t write your request, I’m not ignoring you, I probably just don’t know how to start writing it, and that’s okay.

•Sometimes I just don’t feel like writing •Hetalia is pretty offensive to some people, and if you don’t like it I completely understand. But just because you don’t like something is no reason to slander someone else. If you have a problem with the series or even me for whatever reason, just block and move on. •Please don’t make fun of my physical appearance, I’m really little and I’m super insecure about it. •If you don’t like any of the things I’m interested in then just please stay away from my blog and don’t slander me. I know Motley Crue has done horrible and disgusting things in the past but I still really love their music. So if that pushes your buttons then don’t blow your top off at me for it.

DO NOT REPOST ANY OF MY ORIGINAL FICS WITHOUT MY PERMISSION

Personal tags

Important: #Eli deems important Suggestive/NSFW(unlikely):#Uhellig 😳

Agnes (Aunt’s dog): #hundred pound rat

Queue: Quesoint😩

Original posts: Eli’s many thoughts

I do have trouble tagging posts sometimes tho (oops)

ALSO DNI LIST: Pedophiles (MAPS), Zoophiles, Necrophiles, R@pesexuals, Dreamsexuals, P0rn Blogs, Anti-Mogai/Anti-Xenogenders, Anti-Abortionists, Homophobes, Transphobes, Proshippers, Incest supporters, Anti-Semetics, Nazis, Holocaust Deniers, TERFS, sexists, mysoginists, racists, terrorists, toxic stans (of any fandom), ableists, Ben Shapiro supporters, if you think Elon Musk is an okay person, list may be updated

That’s basically it, thanks for checking out my blog!

Thanks!!

[satorinni]

𝕞𝕦𝕥𝕖

track 18: feelings?

Kenma has never really been a people person. Yeah, over the years he’s gotten better with ‘human interaction’ , but he would still prefer to be alone. There were very few people whose company he didn’t mind, and recently he had been contemplating whether you should be added to the list. Though that idea has been teetering in and out of his mind given the fact you two hadn’t actually hung out in person.  Actually, save for the one pants-less interaction, neither of you had ever been in the same room together. But still, he kinda likes you. More than a friend, he’d like to think. Though the idea scared the fuck out of him, he would actually like to take you on a real date. One that didn’t result in your dinner being up in flames. 

Maybe he’d even take you to a cutesy café in Tokyo. Like the one he was currently sitting in. Eating apple pie. Across from a girl. A girl who definitely wasn’t you. 

“Honestly, I don’t know why you didn’t just become a model.” After the photoshoot, Etsuko insisted on getting a bite to eat. Something about wanting to catch up because it’s been a whole year. He didn’t really understand why, he knew for a fact Kuroo called her every time something juicy happened to him. Whatever that meant. Besides, he couldn’t turn down a slice of his favorite food.

“Because wearing stupid clothes and standing in front of a camera for hours is not my ideal career, ‘Tsuko.” He took another bite of what was left of his slice. He’s glad he chose to sit in a booth away from the windows, he had already been recognized twice on the way here. It’s why he did his best to avoid walking through the city. Especially dressed like this.

“C’mon, Kenmaaaa, the button up is cute. You look like a businessman.” She snorts through her smoothie straw. 

“I am a businessman. I’m quite literally a CEO.” He gives her a deadpan stare before taking a sip from his own milkshake. “I don’t know how your rooster boy manages to wear this stupid getup 24/7. I’m suffocating in these slacks.” He’d been pulling at the tight-fitting pants all day, but the magazine suggested he look professional for the shoot.

“What’s the matter, Kenma? Too much junk in the front?” Etsuko wiggles her eyebrows at him. She always did have the dirtiest mind. 

“Gross, ‘tsuko.” He squints at her and shakes his head. 

“Speaking of your little fella, when was the last time you got laid, baby boy?” Despite her suggestive tone, Kenma knew she was genuinely curious. She was the one who told him what sex was anyway. Gross, he shudders at the memory. 

“Is that an offer, ‘Tsuko?” He knew it wasn’t, and he knew even if it was the answer would be no, but he was deflecting. 

“Only if you let me post it on the hub.” She winks at him and slurps at her empty cup for emphasis. “Quit deflecting, Kenma, I heard about your lil boo thang.” She cracks up at her own joke and asks the waiter for a refill. 

Kenma scrunches his nose in disgust. “Don’t call her that.” Yeah, you guys weren’t dating, and yeah, you probably didn’t even know he liked you, but still. 

“Look at you, defending her honor, how sweet.” She mockingly shakes her head at every word. “I heard you stole her from little rooster boy.” She leans in towards him, like it was some big secret.

“Of course he exaggerated that, he’s the one who set her food on fire. Besides, she texted me first.” He recounts the way he freaked the fuck out when he saw you texted him. His demeanor was always more calm over the internet, probably why he had millions of fans, but he was still an antisocial wreck IRL.

“Ahh, so she’s ballsy, huh. Who knew little Kenma liked bold girls? Tell me about her.” She leans her head into her palm. To anyone else she would’ve dropped it already, losing interest. But this was Kenma, she was always poking her nose into his business. 

“She’s a med student, same age as me. Friend of a friend, I guess. “ He shrugs. He figured that would keep her dormant enough to change the subject. 

“You got yourself a smarty pants. Cute, but that’s not what I wanted to know.” She raises her eyebrow at him. “Do you like her? Is this just a hump and dump? You gonna marry her?” Her eyes got wider with every question, it kinda freaked him out. 

Damn, he thought he could dodge it, but Etsie has always been super pushy. “I don’t know. I mean I'm definitely not gonna hit it & quit it. I haven’t even hung out with her for real.  And dude, I’m 23, m’not thinking about marrying anyone at the moment.” He held his breath and figured that was enough. He was not ready to admit it out loud yet.

“Ah ah ah, you skipped a question, baby boy.” She gives him a devilish grin and leans in even closer. “I won’t tell a soul.”

Okay, even if she was a bit much, Etsuko never spilled Kenma’s secrets. To anyone. Not even Kuroo. But it wasn’t that he didn’t trust her. It was just... Was he ready to admit he had feelings? It's only been a few months, and he hadn’t even spoken to you in person. So what if he texted and called you 24/7? Wouldn’t it be too early? You’d probably be freaked out if he went ahead and confessed his feelings so early on. 

Ah, fuck it. 

“Yeah, ‘Tsuko. I like her. Like a lot. She’s funny as hell, smart as shit, and she gets me. Plus she’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever met. Like, prettier than you.” He knows that would probably offend any other girl, but he was only ever straight up with ‘Tsuko.

“EEK!” Etsuko lets out a pig squeal that has other customers staring in confusion. She balls her fists up and starts shaking aggressively. “My baby boy has a crush! EEK! I’m so proud of you.” She leans over the whole table and grabs Kenma’s face, placing a loud kiss on his forehead. 

He flicks her forehead and smiles. “Shut up, it’s not like this is the first crush I’ve ever had.”

“I take pride in being your first crush, little bro.” She places her hand on her chest in mock pain, but the grin on her face exposes itself. 

“When you put it like that it sounds like incest. I was 8, you weirdo. ” Both were true, when Kenma first met Etsuko he developed a crush on her. (Mostly because she was the only girl who he’d ever interacted with.) It only lasted a month anyway; he eventually got annoyed with how much her and her brother were at his house. Now, after 15 years of being stuck with Kuroo, Kenma could only ever see them both as the siblings he never had. 

“Still, I was your first love, Kenma.” She looks off dramatically into the distance, as if she was having a flashback.

“You’re gay.” The smirk on his face gives off his slight amusement with her stupidly dramatic antics. 

“Now, “ She slams her hands on the table, causing more people to stare and the silverware to rattle, “Aren’t you going to ask me about my lovelife?” 

“No, I don’t care.” He snorts at the hurt look on her face. 

“Well, my girlfriend is doing WONDERFUL, Kozume Kenma, thanks for asking.” She crosses her arms and sticks her nose in the air.

“Yeah, whatever, you’re paying.” He pulls out his phone to see if there are any texts from you. On cue, the notification on his phone displays your name. He grins down at the unopened text, not even bothering to hide his happiness from Etsuko. 

Mid-rant about how he should pay because he’s got all the money, she stops and stares at him. A soft smile appears on her face, a swell of pride shoots through her. She only ever saw Kenma as a baby brother, and was genuinely happy for his growth over the years. 

Suddenly, Kenma’s phone flashes with your contact, a facetime call from you. 

“I gotta take this.” He moves to sit up, but looks up at Etsuko at the last second. 

She grins and nods towards the door. 

“Go get em, tiger.”

𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘: kozume kenma x medstudent!f!reader

𝕥𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥: send an ask to be added!

𝕤𝕪𝕟𝕠𝕡𝕤𝕚𝕤: enroute to being a neurosurgeon, y/n l/n doesn’t have time for fun, let alone dating. after her friends set her up on a blind date gone wrong, she comes face 2 face with none other than her date’s best friend. her world flips on axis, and suddenly she has no idea how her brain works, or love-at-first-sight.

𝕒/𝕟: this was probably rlly poorly written LMFOAD

taglist!

@katsuki-bakuhoee @sirachano0dles @qwir-0 @sailorstrawberi @calumsfringe @oppositesunchild @akioaly @aikochan4859 @drownedbytears @buttermasterbillie @vvenusblue @bluefaeriefury @ktzuki @mirikusashes @tsukibaby @toaster-stick @woohoney @just-snog-already @adorable-punk-superheroes @nikanikabitch @starrywriteshaikyuu @acabbaybee @theblueslytherin @sakusasupremacist @waywardcowboyllamavoid @rintaoreo @immxnty @noliamallpayne @sadcosmicdoggie @aizumii @c-o-n-q-u-e-r @sunahyejin @zaedynnn @triskoof @bakugouswh0r3 @ilauvcoldpizza @tina-98 @izzy28901 @kookie-doughs @black-rose-29 @moonlightaangel @kakamihasatmblr

[tillman]

Hi! I just found your bog and I love it so much. I've been taking an arthurian lit class recently and I will say the fandom was a bit of a shocker, so your posts were a nice relief. I was wondering what you meant in your post where you said people think Lancelot is a slutty/vapid bimbo? Honestly I don't see many people talking about Lancelot (aside from you and Gringolet) and I haven't seen that. (Also since it's obvious I backread your blog, sorry about the weird drama.)

woa hi thank u ! and 8oe4trh39052857 its okay thank u fr the thoughts. this is gonna be really weird and kinda all over the place deeply sorry i think about this topic a lot and genuinely it upsets me in a lot of regards. 

uhhhhhh okay this is a very big issue with not just the arthurian fandom but also with a lot of modern shit apparently which is baffling to me. anyways theres this really weird compulsion for modern authors to make lancelot into basically the stereotypical ........ asshole standoffish stupid “vapid whore” kind of character? which 

1) is just so much more boring than lancelot in the texts. like im sorry but lancelot is one of the most nuanced and interesting characters in med lit and reducing him to star quarterback who is a slut is just lame and cringe and im going to bully you for it. its stupid and i dont think you should be writing lancelot if you write him like that. 

2) SUPER disrespectful if you actually look at who lancelot is as a character. is a victim of sexual abuse and as an exploration of what it means to be a good knight. (theres also a lot about masculinity in his character but im not turning this into a “lancelot is a trans guy” rant so). I just think to call a canon victim of sexual abuse a slut and a whore for “sleeping around” is gross. the opposite goes the same ive seen him called a “loser turbo virgin” ...... also doesnt sit well at all. just fucking THINK about how you refer to characters even a little bit. 

i feel like a lot of modern authors and hell even people in the fandom tend to just read a summary of KOTC and that lancelot is the best knight and then think his entire character is a) his relationship with guenevere and b) Being the best knight which r both entirely untrue. this is i personally think a bigger issue w guenevere in terms of loss of character but the point still stands for lancelot that their romance is made the only thing discussed at all about these two characters when both of them are WAY more nuanced. Lancleot in particular, his relationship with guenevere explains who he is as a person but is NOT the only thing ... to him. him being a knight of the round is also such a small part of who he is as a person i thikn its honestly easy to not even associate him WITH the round yet they are intrinsically linked in modern media and fandom. (hell look at the vulgate he was explicitly forced to join the round and spends as much time as possible avoiding it) 

theres aslo this really weird modern thing that comes from im pretty sure TH White of having lancelot only interested in guenevere to get closer to arthur. which is almost ALWAYS used as another “haha what a SLUT” angle but also on another hand is just haha weird considering lancelot doesnt.... like.... arthur and arthur explicitly says a shit ton in the texts that he loves lancelot as a son so that is uhm weird. and totally completely makes guenevere just a stepping point for lancelot to get to his “twu wuv <3″ which just feels fucking gross. like god i think lancelot and guenevere r better as friends than in love but you have to understand lancelot TRULY does love guenevere. as a friend or as more doesnt MATTER. his devotion is a key aspect of his charatcer.

anyways its just a weird weird trend which completely ... i think ruins the point of lancelot as a character. hes a weirdo. hes a crybaby mommas boy who is always described as overtly polite and kind. he loves with his entire heart but he is so scared of being hurt he only loves a few close people and is fully unable to branch out from that. he hates talking to people who arent those few and usually will have to have guenevere or gawain or galehaut to talk FOR him in most social situations. he is described as beautiful in an explicitly feminine way, going against modern notions of masculinity and the “best knight” yet he still... is the best knight. despite being weird and fucked up. he enjoys being a good knight and he strives to meet peoples expectations for him AS the knight of someone hes so devoted to. i think reducing him to some “bimbo” (real word ive seen used for him!) type vapid “whore” completely goes against what makes lancelot actually..... interesting. 

wahtever i hope that made any sense thank u anon