#/he might actually be vast holy fuck

[kcrabb88]

It's truly wild to me how many people out there don't understand that the Star Wars prequels are a tragedy or how tragedies work.

Posts like "these are the Jedi failed movies" truly just make me shake my head. They're actually the "fascism wears a smile until it strikes you down and then it's too late" movies. They're the "the senate became corrupt and clapped in the face of genocide" movies. They're the "make people scared enough of war until they accept authoritarianism" movies. They're the "fear and possessiveness will tear you up on the inside" movies. The Jedi were the heroes of lore, people loved and looked up to them, looked to them for safety, and then too much got put on their shoulders on purpose by Palpatine, and also by a senate that didn't want to act (not you Padme and Bail and Mon, you're perfect). They were drafted and used and scapegoated, which is, you know, a tenet of the vast majority of authoritarian governments (Hitler and Stalin, for instance, might be on different ends of the political spectrum, but they sure both did scapegoat specific groups and commit mass murder, just differently).

When some people say "these movies are about the fall of the Jedi" what they mean is "the Jedi failed" but that's not what "the fall of the Jedi means." It means they were wiped the fuck OUT. Like, Jesus, in Rogue One Tarkin is talking about burning out the final MEMORY of the Jedi by blowing up the holy city in Jedha. Palpatine had to get rid of the Jedi because to get rid of the Jedi was to get rid of the final people standing in his way after he had already worn them out. His intention was not only to kill them, but to alter the galaxy's entire perception of them. To rip away hope. People are always looking for the Jedi to be Bad or nitpick their mistakes (because while other people are allowed to make mistakes, the Jedi never are). Palpatine made himself look like a benevolent grandpa who would keep everyone safe. And that, more than anything, is what gave him SO much power. He stole the narrative.

It's just like. Of course WE know what was going to happen! We know from watching the OT that the PT can only end in tragedy. But the characters don't know that! They don't have all the info! That's how a tragic story structure works. We see it coming and they can't.

Anyway. The Jedi are laser-sword wielding monks with psychic powers who just wanted to do what they could to help. The world would be better if more folks remembered that.

[zabala0z]

Sorry for not posting, school has been wild and I got accepted into an acapella group!!!! I’m at the sleepover for it rn, I got kidnapped

MAG 121: Far Away

OLIVER BANKS??? Okay but this confirms my theory that Oliver Banks was like the same guy from MAG 32 and MAG 42, like I PREDICTED it guys. I SAID IT. He’s actually quite nice and one of the few avatars who doesn’t wanna kill Jon which is a plus. Also best power cause holy shit. GEORGIEEEE 🫶🫶🫶

MAG 122: Zombie

Glad Jon’s awake but he sounds like hell. Can he like sense tapes now? Is that now one of his abilities??? Not very useful but maybe later it will be.

Anyways, creepy ass statement. Is this The Stranger? I’m going to say it is. They haven’t found Daisys body which is making me think…👀👀👀 who knows. But I’m emotionally attached to every character. AND WHAT IS MARTIN DOING WITH PETER LUKAS??? Bro???

MAG 123: Web Development

So Melanie is not super happy and I can’t even blame her. Like she’s so valid cause I’d be suspicious on Jon after 2 people died and he lived. Although she sounds like really pissed and it’s worrying. I need to see a statement about The Flesh because how did it attack everyone??? Sent mangled pigs??

The fact if u don’t follow Peters orders, you go woosh, makes me nervous. Like I can’t tell who’s the worse boss. If you work there, you gotta either have your trauma be resurfaced or disappear like come on 😭😭 fun that the tape recorders keep coming up. Not. Fuck them.

Yay!! the web!!! Don’t like it!! I wonder if Brian from MAG 100 was in the text of code.

MAG 124: Left Hanging

Oh surprise, surprise, it’s Simon Fairchild. AGAIN. At his old ass age. Again, very The Vast core cause duh. He seems like…a nice person to talk to. Like if he didn’t send people to the emptiness of the ocean, space or the sky, I’d have a decent conversation with him. Who was the cable car monster wtf.

MARTINNN :( bro. Get out of that situation, I don’t have a good feeling about it. Peter Lukas already deals with The Lonely like come on. Their conversation was so awkward. Made me awkward. Jesus. I just need them all to be okay.

Okay I think that’s everything! Posts might be slower since I got so much going on this year like my god. But, I’m definitely going to set aside time to still listen because this podcast sustains me. I live it. Anyways!

[bullsandthebones]

I want people to write for Namor more bc holy shit that man-

but I'm scared that they'll fuck it up yk? a lot of fic writers are white as all white, which isn't a problem normally, but if they fuck up stuff to do with the mayan culture and religion because they refuse to actually research the stuff the write about like actual writers do, then I might just go on a rampage.

like, I was even scared when people were writing for T'Challa, because a lot of people would get stuff wrong. Wakanda is a vast country, although their religion and cultural aspects remain mostly the same throughout. What most people tend to overlook is that a lot of it is based in Egyptian culture. their religion is kemetic and their clothing has Egyptian styles. even the "wakanda forever" symbol is literally related back to how Pharaohs are buried in their tombs.

(sorry for that Egyptian rant, continuing on) What I'm saying is, this stuff is severely overlooked and it pains me to see it. The Black Panther movies are everything to me because I finally got to see African superheroes, especially African superheroes with the same religion as me. Although I am not Hispanic, I'm sure that they hate misrepresentation as well.

All in all, if you're going to write for Namor, which you should because he's awesome, please take the time to research anything you want to add to your fic that would be apart of the mayan culture. Maybe even seek out a few comics that Namor is in. It's not that big of an ask and it'll make a lot of people more comfortable to support you and your writing.

(this goes for any religion/race/mental illness/disability, literally anything that doesn't pertain to you yourself. look that stuff up because it'll make a huge difference in your writing.)

[my-coven-is-claudia]

i’m going to bash my head into a wall if i don’t get this all out NOW but something really clicked into place once i finished good omens 2.

i’ve always wondered how dark the show was going to go when it came to it’s critism of Christianity. however,, this season really solidified it for me that they are going to dig deep.

the confession scene between aziraphale and crowley really came across to me as one religiously traumatised person desperately trying to show another deeply religiously traumatised person the flaws in organised religion and how it isn’t everything. that there’s this whole beautiful world outside of being ‘pure’ and ‘holy’. it isn’t worth it. life might be absolutely meaningless and we might be incomprehensibly irrelevant in comparison to this vast universe but at least we have each other. isn’t that enough? aren’t i enough? can we not be each other’s meaning in life?

crowley knows more than anyone how corrupted heaven is. how it chews up and spits out anyone who questions the status quo. crowley asked questions and he lost everything. he fell. as a result,, he had to completely uproot his old identity as an angel and build himself up again. and i think his bravery in just completely bearing his whole self to aziraphale proves how much he’s grown. he isn’t ashamed of his love for aziraphale,, doesn’t view their relationship as the problem but instead the toxic heaven and hell as the issue. he’s okay with leaving behind the system of heaven and hell - of good and evil. he recognises that that kind of black and white thinking doesn’t help anyone. although he may be an outcast for it,, he knows he’ll be alright as long as he has aziraphale by his side. we’ve seen multiple times now that crowley is more than willing to just up and leave earth and give up everything as long as he’s with aziraphale. freedom is not scary to him - it’s something he desperately desires actually. he doesn’t have to rely on god or heaven or even frankly his role as a demon to be confident in himself. the system’s fucked and they’re all alone and only have each other and he’s fine with that. as long as it’s him and aziraphale against the world.

aziraphale,, on the other hand,, has yet to find solace in the loneliness of it just being him and crowley. we see during the story of job flashback that once aziraphale realises he isn’t as angelic as he thought he was,, that he’s only willing to go along with heaven’s plans so far,, he is crushed. the weight of the situation - him losing his picture perfect view of heaven - destroys him. he’s alone. and he hasn’t really moved on from this initial realisation. yes he’s grown in other respects (e.g. he’s a lot braver now when it comes to standing up to heaven and the archangels than he was at the beginning) but he’s still stuck in that moment. this angel is traumatised!! the deal with the metatron is his chance to prove himself in a way. to prove that he isn’t this impure,, traitorous angel. he can fix the system. heaven is actually the answer. it may need a little sprucing up but at it’s core good always triumphs evil. and crowley’s good so he must be deserving of becoming an angel so maybe they can finally be together and their relationship won’t be wrong.

and it’s just this painful justification for aziraphale to return to the place that abused him for so many centuries. self-sabotage at it’s finest. he doesn’t know life outside of being an ‘angel’. it’s an intrinsic part of who he is even though at this point he’s more human than anything else. throughout the series we see him attempt to present as this stereotypical,, fearless angel who smites evil at every turn. during the story of job flashback he attempts to appear as a messenger of god to the humans but they don’t take him seriously. he insists to the archangels that he will shape the antichrist into a good person despite the fact that the whole point is that adam will actually bring about armageddon and they just laugh at him. he wants to be pure and holy so bad!!

this has been bubbling beneath the surface for literal millennium and it’s finally cost him everything. it was always going to get in the way of his and crowley’s relationship. his unresolved trauma has convinced him that his love for crowley is his hamartia. but if he takes this deal maybe,, just maybe,, they can be together. in the holy way of course. crowley will have to give up his personal growth and return to the place that chucked him out like a dog bone just to become a part of the system he’s been fighting against for so long.

to be clear,, i don’t think aziraphale realises this and wouldn’t ever wish for crowley to have to conform but he doesn’t realise that by rejoining heaven that’s literally what they will be doing. heaven is the pinnacle of the status quo - distant and cold with not a sign of love in sight. it’s not the right place for them at all. i think aziraphale is being simultaneously selfless and selfish in choosing to become the archangel supreme: obviously he’s giving up living on earth and more importantly crowley so he can rebuild heaven but he seems to also be doing this to sooth his own self-hatred.

everything ties back to his feelings of inferiority and that he isn’t good enough. no matter how many times crowley screams at him that he’s better than all of heaven and hell combined he’s not going to leave heaven behind until he recognises his own self worth. he loves crowley for defying his destiny as a demon and being a kind person but he can’t seem to love himself for doing the exact same. he needs to find himself before he can truly leave heaven behind along with his faith. and in a way i think aziraphale did a long time ago on that cliff with crowley but ever since then he’s just been trying to convince himself that he still believes in the almighty.

[spectres-fulcrum]

This whole they changed Ki-Adi's age!!! Outrage is so performative and you cannot change my mind on this.

This age is of a minor character with an estimated birth year on a trading card that's 20 years old and decidely non canon(And these TPM adjacent sources are also not at all remotely canon). And a man the vast majority of people has hated for decades? You want me to believe you care about that?

Like where was a fraction of this anger when Qui-Gon's birth year was changed? An actual main character? There was silence.

Where was the outcry when his earlier apprentices-namely Xanatos- were written out of ever being pulled to canon? Major character defining stories were ripped away. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon lost so much. Obi-Wan lost lineage brothers. The disaster lineage will never be complete and I loathe everyone who thinks it is(Not really).

My heart screamed. But no one heard a thing. But guess what. I don't really care what the fuck Disney does because they're canon in my heart. Disney can really do whatever the fuck they want and I can ignore them and retreat and I don't scream about it. I don't ruin it for the people who dare to just vibe. My followers will know if I'm not feeling something but that's it.

And this is not a slight against Ki-Adi. I like him. I knew his age. In my mind he grew up friends with Tahl, Qui-Gon, and Clee. In my mind his apprentice(an oc) had a youngling best friends to unspoken romantic relationship with Xanatos in true Jedi Apprentice style and grew up to be a healer at the Temple.

The fandom hates a queer woman in charge. They hate her decisions. The second they announced her, these people decided whatever she produced was going to be horrible and they were going to nitpick everything she did because she was a queer woman. This fandom never, for a second, was willing to give it a chance. And thus this temper tantrum.

BTW: If you don't know any of these names(Xanatos, Clee, Tahl, add in Bant, Siri, Garen, Didi and Astri Oddo), fuck off about Ki-Adi's birth year.

(And if you ask my opinion: Canon is fun, if I like it I might try to include it in my headcanons. But at the end of the day it doesn't mess with my headcanons. Qui-Gon and Ki-Adi-Mundi were both born ca. 90 BBY. Xan and Miria were their apprentices in the 50s. Jude Watson is my holy bible when it comes to Star Wars. In my head, Xan and Obi-Wan are dating during TPM and Xanatos met Anakin on the landing platform right before the Return to Naboo and had a vision of the purge and Qui-Gon asked him if the dark Jedi ever heard whispers of the Sith returning.

But I respect canon for what it is on paper. If this is worth keeping in my headcanon(Which might be good fuel for rumors Xanatos knows from his dark years...), that dude is some random guy of Ki-Adi's species and it. hurts. nothing)

[ratfreecog]

How was newsies vibrates excitedly

IT WAS SO GOOD I SAW IT LAST NIGHT

This school has such a big budget drama program it’s insane good on them for actually valuing the arts. The theater was huge it felt like walking into a professional venue in my city not a high school. I wish my old school cared that much our drama teacher got fired for embezzling our club’s funds. Jack, Davey, Katherine, and Crutchie were all so good it was insane. Also, girl Crutchie!! Hell yeah!!

Predictably, a vast majority of the newsies were girls, but instead of trying to hide it and making them dress and act like boys, they just made them girl newsies and used some of the names from Newsies Jr and the Brooklyn girlsies instead. The only exception to this was Albert, who was played by a very femme person with long hair and a skirt, but was still called Albert, which I think is hilarious and I’m hoping that was the actor’s choice.

They also actually had adults play the adult characters which was interesting?? For a highschool production but good for them ig

My favorite moment was in the last Pulitzer’s office scene when Davey goes “since the strike, your circulation’s been down 70%” and Jack, who was currently laying down across the arms of two chairs, did a sit up and whispered “70%” and then laid back down

Also during the Snyder chase scene at the start they had Jack run up one of these scaffolding buildings that were part of the set, realize it was a dead end at the top, turn around and be cornered by Snyder, and then dived between his legs and ran back down to the floor again. Wonderful choreography 10/10.

Speaking of choreography, they actually tap dance during KONY! Holy shit! Was not expecting that! And it was good! Like really good! Hell yeah. All the dancing was really good actually very similar to the Broadway production but like they did a great job at it.

Crutchie also broke my fucking heart during LFTR she actually started crying on the “your sister, Crutchie” line and so did I in the audience

Jack fucking killed Santa Fe he was awesome. Just always he was awesome but Santa Fe was really fucking good

For the seize the day reprise where they’re singing it while Jack Davey and Spot are going to Pultizer’s office, for some reason (I’m guessing running out of time in rehearsal) instead of having the kids sing they played an audio clip from the proshot and it caught me so offguard and im definitely the only person who noticed because I know every single line in this show and have performed the entire thing by myself in box at my haunt to keep myself entertained in between customers.

Overall it was awesome! I do know this show so well that it haunts me and literally every other line an alarm would go off in my brain for whatever they did and how it compared to other versions of the show and what it might mean for their characters so I could probably go a lot more in depth but these were my main thoughts coming out of it. They did a fantastic job!

[letteredlettered]

Draco was wiping the counter when Harry Potter came into the shop3

(I love how long this title is)

Two people already asked; I guess because you can tell it's H/D. The document title is named that because that was the first line of the fic and I couldn't be bothered to come up with how to save it.

Anyway, this is a coffee shop AU, except not really an AU because it's EWE and otherwise canon. The premise was that Draco works in a Muggle coffee shop. It's not that far from the Ministry of Magic and Aurors start getting coffee there. Eventually Harry comes to check it out because he hears Draco works there; although there was an alternate version where Harry first discovers Draco there because a suspect was spotted at the shop or something similar and Harry comes to investigate.

The fic was really supposed to be about Harry's sexuality; he's struggling with Ginny and they break up, and then for a while he's very confused because he thinks he's supposed to be dating but isn't really feeling it. Then he starts thinking he might be gay but really feels like he has no idea how to tell.

Draco meanwhile has been in lust with Harry since like first year and has tried to do some very healthy things to get over it, such as throw away a very vast, heavily labeled collection of memories he puts into his Penseive to get off on, and become so proficient and Occlusion that he doesn't even know when he's Occluding most of the time. So when he hears Harry is struggling with his sexuality he VERY CASUALLY (as is Draco's wont, because of the Occlusion) offers to show Harry the ropes, as it were.

Harry has been coming to the coffee shop a while now and almost thinks of Draco as a friend; Draco has this bartender role a bit where Harry will talk about cases and then later personal issues and Draco nods and listens and offers encouragement. So when Draco offers VERY CASUALLY to sleep with him Harry is like well why the hell not.

So they kiss and maybe touch a little and Harry pretty much instantly knows HOLY SHIT I'M SO GAY and also we the reader know but Draco remains oblivious and Occludes so hard that he actually manages to succeed in acting like it means nothing to him. And then Harry wants to do more and so of course Draco says yes and Harry is right off the bat extremely intense and passionate and into it and it's obvious to the reader that he's pretty much fallen head over heels now that he understands more about his sexuality, and Draco acts like it's nothing.

And this goes on for a while and eventually Harry is like look, I care about you, and Draco acts like it's nothing. He kind of assumes it's a phase and Harry will get over it, best to protect himself.

And they continue to sleep together for a while and at last Harry can't stand it and is like, I'm not sure I can really do this anymore because I'm so in love with you and I know you don't care about me, and it's killing me. And Draco opens his mouth to say he does care--but can't.

Like he literally can't; he's Occluded so much that he's actually magically fucked up his ability to share his emotions even verbally; and Harry is like "say something" and Draco is like "I can't," and Harry is like "ok but why can't you" and Draco can't explain that either; the Occlumency has fucked him up so much that he actually can't stop Occluding against even explaining the situation.

So Harry eventually leaves and we are very sad and Draco gets therapy and Harry eventually starts dating Michael Corner or somebody and maybe they're even going to get married or something and Draco finally unfucks himself up enough to be able to tell Harry what was happening like two years ago and Draco knows it's too late but he's loved Harry all along and happy ending.

[esther-dot]

I double-checked and heard '100' as well. I'm the same as you, honestly it sounds positive to me but people are going to spin headlines. The fact he's opened up about struggling alone probably indicates he's feeling better about it - I guess speaking personally, when I was able to verbalise that I was having trouble at all with my writing, that was already the point where I was beginning to untangle it.

I'm more interested in GRRM's process from a writer's POV as opposed to waiting morosely for the endproduct, so that's the angle I like thinking about. His work is extremely ambitious, because he's got multiple working elements at once: not just multiple perspective characters, but he's trying to pull off a deconstructive commentary (I mean this in the literary criticism sense, not the sense used in fandom spaces which is 'thing bad? what do about it?') in addition to marrying the weighted moral/thematic complexity of a classic novel paired with the fantasy genre. LOTR is much more firmly in mythic territory than that imo.

I say this as someone who's not necessarily an ASOIAF superfan, but I find his work interesting just because holy fuck, George, of course it's taken you twelve years.

(about this post)

Yeah, I think looking at this from a writer’s perspective gives one a lot more sympathy for how long it’s taking him to write. I've criticized him a fair bit myself, so I don’t feel overly protective of him, but most fans seem to ignore the vast difference between typical genre fiction and what he’s doing. I’ve said before, it’s literature, with all the layers and complexity that implies. Hence it taking a decade + to bring his story together just so (in addition to all the other reasons) and ghost writers not being a workable solution for him.

I've written some original stuff and with that, and with my fics, I have a similar style with the whole, knowing certain things, even having later bits of dialogue written, but not using an outline and just, writing until I reach those moments naturally. In the interview, Cornwell said he's a true gardener, doesn't even know how his own stories will end, but Martin has created a headache for himself by having established endgames, major beats, and what he's called set pieces that he's determined to naturally find. It's a difficult way to write. I think it does allow him some great characterization, but I honestly feel sick to my stomach when I think about what he has to be going through with that method and this series.

I'm sure no one is more anxious for him to finish the book than he is. Fanfic writers feel a weight over their unfinished fics, meta writers groan over metas sitting in their drafts, but none of us had the showrunners of the most popular TV show waiting for us to wrap it up, contracts with publishers, a mouthy worldwide fandom, our legacy hanging in the balance. Martin even talked about wanting to write the best book he could, knowing he's already kept people waiting so long, which means he's putting additional pressure on himself. I personally wish he took on fewer projects (distractions! demands!), but he has the right to a payday even if it is coming from HBO after the travesty of s8. He mentioned in that interview how there were times he thought his career was over, and I'm sure he never imagined he'd be so successful or become this wealthy. He should enjoy it!

I know there was a discord for Jonsas at one point, and I hope someone does that again when TWOW is gonna come out so people have a safe place to talk. I actually might wait for some Jonsas to post about their thoughts before I read it. I like spoilers, and I've stuck around this long to support the Jonsa fandom ( +spite for all the people who harassed us), so I don't think I'd be able to dip when TWOW comes out.

[syn4k]

It took me an embarrassing amount of time to realize you guys wrote one of my favorite fics on ao3

Like I didn’t make the connection between the names on the different platforms then was like “ashes au haha like that one story?” Then realized it WAS that story and that you wrote it

I wanted to let you guys know that ashes au is The Best and every chapter rips my heart apart and stitches it back together halfway (in a good way)

I love how Gem and Fwhip are Trying to get along and sometimes it’s fine and sometimes it’s tenser than rubber band about to snap and oh god it makes me think of my own siblings. And Pixl!!! He is the densest and saddest character. The day he comes to terms with the fact people will want him around is the day the world will spring back to life haha.

I cannot wait to see where the story goes next and whenever I check my bookmarks for updates I always look to ashes au first

-Starry

anon, please know that the intial response up here when we saw this went like this:

lance [clicking the askbox expecting another ask game ask]: oh shit, ray look at this ray (the main person up here who has actually physically written the vast majority of Ashes): what? lance: look at this ask ray, walking up to the front screen: yeah? oh what the fuck? oh wow. holy shit. hold on WHOA.

and then we proceeded to keysmash about it on Discord. based on our very normal reaction, one can clearly judge that we get asks of this moniker a lot and are used to it (joking)

seriously though, this ask has made our evening and probably our entire weekend due to several reasons- hold on let me make an itemized list real quick hi its ray i stole the fingers i am going insane over this. Hello. Hey.

do not worry anon i would have done the exact same thing if this wasn't our fic that we were writing. it has happened to us before on multiple occasions as well you are not alone

AAAAAAAA???? AAAAAAA?? AAAAA? AAAA! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! AGH!

if you or a loved one have experienced physical or emotional pain while reading this fic, you may be entitled to financial compensation

yeah uh. Yeah theyre siblings alright! some days they are getting along just fine and some days they are literally ready to dropkick each other into a tree

pix is layered like a French pastry. this is intentional. how have we done this so in depth and so well? don't worry about it (it's a little technique called "mild to moderate projection") (yes, we are actively going to therapy and have been going for years. do not worry)

asks like these are the literal backbone of everything we write ever. i am not kidding when i say that we have been pouring all the effort we can into writing this, partially because we refuse to fully abandon a multichapter ever, partially to distract ourself from the huge amount of schoolwork we've been subjected to lately, and partially because of the readers (including you!) that leave so much godsdamned feedback that we read when we are sad

things like this are the world to me and out of all the words we've ever written, i don't think any of them would show our gratitude enough, so we'll stick to showing that by keeping this thing going for you and everyone else who keeps up with and enjoys this fic

thank you SO MUCH for this and please subscribe to the work if you haven't already because ao3 gives you emails every time a chapter updates. we love u and we understand so so much but desperately refreshing the page will not actually make us write it any faster although i wish that was how it worked </3

we wish you a Very and a Good :] hope to see you when the next chapter drops, whenever the hell that might be!

[dinitride-art]

Came back to tumblr after a day of not being on it at all. Sees Noah trending #1, he came out as gay. Just actually considered trying to explain my identity to my parents for the first time (I’m in a safe place but it still scares the fuck out of me) and holy shit. I’m not going to, but something about seeing this made me think, hey. It might be okay if you did. So the last fifteen or so minutes have been really weird for me. Someone my age just came out publicly. To a vast amount of people. And holy fuck is that making me feel some type of way

[dankovskaya]

1, 4, 10, 15, 19 for Kiana?

AHHHH ELLA you're putting me to work I see. I will try not to go overboard😭

What is their relationship with their family?

Kiana's only real family throughout most of her life (up to the "present" of her being like, early 20s) is Waylon and that relationship itself is hard to define because they both go through so many highs and lows not entirely dependent on each other that change how they relate to. The world I guess. And therefore each other as well. I might like casually call him her dad, but that's not really what it's like, and saying he's more of an Uncle or a considerably older sibling is a probably more accurate. She has been known to call him "Uncle Waylon" in reference to him but probably just "Waylon" to his face. At first it's pretty clear cut that he's acting as a caretaker and mentor figure for her, but when Everything Falls Apart around when she's 12 or 13 and they're forced to be separated repeatedly for long periods of time over the next few years (because Waylon is incarcerated, escapes, reincarcerated, and so on in typical comics fashion), it's not nearly the same when they're technically reunited, and by the "present" they kind of border on estranged, but it's also somewhat one sided? Hard to explain but I've said enough here already LOL. She also has a mother that she very very distantly remembers as having abandoned her when she was a small child presumably on account of her "condition" and who she is naturally very resentful of but this is not actually true.

Holy fuck this is long the rest is under here 👇

4. What experiences shaped who they are?

No particular singular events stand out as having affected her substantially above all else (at least at this point in brainstorming) but it's more the overall horrible experience of being constantly reminded that the vast majority of the population does not see her as entirely human and the different ways that presents itself. I suppose around the end of their first year in Gotham when Waylon Gets Busted By The Bat and the first somewhat idyllic period of her life (which she definitely romanticizes as better than it actually was in retrospect😭) comes to an abrupt and forceful end stands out as singularly painful and unfair and intensified the natural overall resentfulness she has for People In General and cemented this sort of kneejerk cynicism that she honestly didn't always carry with her. She's always trying to get back to that first Gotham apartment.

10. What are they trying to achieve?

This one's rough because she spends a lot of her time just sort of broadly dissatisfied and resigned to going through the motions of Living in a Hostile Society while also trying to make the most of a relatively good situation through. Idk. Mundane indulgences. And trying not to draw any attention to herself whatsoever. BUT the inciting incident that leads to her meeting and affiliating with Jason has to do with her Deep Backstory and why she is the way that she is so without going into details that I have not yet wholly worked out there is essentially a complex revenge narrative afoot with a lot of varying degrees of uncomfortable self-recognition through the other. Not being certain of what she's trying to achieve within that and having to contend with Jason's perspective on the issue is sort of central to it.

15. What do they want?

She wants friends so so bad this is the great contradiction of Kiana. She hates people for what they've done to her and to Waylon she can't trust anyone to respect or understand her on any level she goes to great lengths to minimize human contact in her day to day life and she can find it very hard to care about anyone who isn't a "freak" like she is but she is also so desperate for actual human connection and understanding that she feels insane. For so much of her life she wanted so badly to get far far away from anyone other than Waylon and now that she has some semblance of that distance it just kind of makes her more angry 😭 Cause she doesn't ACTUALLY want to be alone she just wants people to stop being cunts to her but she's too distrustful (and fucking SHY) to actually try to find people who would look past? The snakeyness? And treat her like a person? So she kind of sets herself up for failure in multiple ways but you can't entirely blame her because she has supremely understandable reasons to both metaphorically and literally bite any hand that reaches towards her. More childishly I guess she wants to find and confront her mother but she knows this is completely unfeasible (alone at least 😏) so it's more of just a resentful daydream.

19. Does their appearance change throughout the story?

Counting the meat of the "story" as from the inciting incident onwards um not realllyyyyy unless you count her switching up her braids every once in a while Lol. She does get shot once so like there's a scar. But yeah not much. And the snake features are already as prominent as they're going to be and have been since she was pretty young. Unless you count the fact that she is technically going to continue growing taller forever, it just takes a really long time. LMAO.

[meguwumibear]

trigun writing warm up; tw religion, thoughts of death

You are lying motionless on the cold metal ground of what used to be a space ship, back flat against the floor, becoming one with it. One with the metal. One with the ground. It leeches the warmth from you, bleeds you of it. The floor takes and it takes and it takes. Presses harshly into your spine. The pain is a comfort.

A disembodied voice here, there, here, here, here. Somewhere in the room. Somewhere to your right. Or is it to your left? No, that's not right. The strange voice is all around you. It's the only thing you feel besides the coldness of the floor. The fluidity of the voice. How it rises then falls. Full of passion. Full of life.

A preacher at a pulpit. There's no other way to describe Nai when he gets like this. He becomes something otherworldly. Transforms into something familiar yet so unrecognizable. You know priests and their gold crosses that glitter golden in the sun. You know their rosery beads and confession booths and pews and bibles and communions. Body of Christ. Willingly given. Oh holy eucharist. Oh blessed communion. Wretched rights. Sacred sacraments. Holy be. Holy be.

Nai is not religious but draws inspiration from the big book. The holy book. The blessed book. You think he's read all of it, but he seems to favor the opening lines of Genesis. B'reishit. In the beginning. The Lord created the heavens and the earth. The light and the dark. He made us, then made us again.

The air around you smells like sulfur, brimstone. It smells salty like the sea. An ocean of water. Not one of sand. Try as you might, you cannot picture this; you cannot picture a vast blue body of water brimming with fish and coral and life. Each time you try the image slips from you. Go. Going. Gone.

You're aware again of how cold the floor beneath you is. It should be a comfort in these hot summer months. It should sooth you. Like a balm. Instead it reminds you of absence. Of death and of nothingness. You eyes close and you see it now. The darkness. The darkness that awaits us all.

Only, that's not right. The body cools but the soul blazes. Descends to one of the nine hells. Blisters and boils and burns and burns and burns and burns and burns and burns.

"I hate when you get like this."

He hates you all the time. It matters not what you're wearing, what you're doing or saying, if you've been an obedient little human or a wicked, wicked witch. He hates and he hates and he hates, hates, hates. And that is not a sin. Pride? Yes. Sloth? Certainly? But not hate. Never hate.

"I wish you'd kill me."

You mean it and you don't. You'll die either way. You're dying now. Of hunger. Of thirst. Of boredom most of all. You aren't interested in Nai's Eden. Like the water filled ocean, it's a picture that never fully forms. You can chase it if you'd like, but it would only slip further and further away. As distant from you as the stars.

More noise. More talking. Preaching. Christ he needs a therapist. Needs a friend. Needs his brother. His brother Vash. Who ran from him. Who saw Nai for the monster he truly is and ran and ran and ran so hard and so fast they call him the humanoid typhoon. He touches down in this town, then the next, kicking up dust and dirt and lots and lots of fucking sand.

"Not interested in my Eden?" he asks.

And, no, you're not interested in anything, actually. You're not interested in anything at all.

[000life-is-meaningless000]

If, you think about it.

. . .

God is just the ultimate elite.

. . .

He sits up in the Pearly Gates he judges you when you get something nice or not if you're not obedient perfectly then you go to you get to suffer for eternity in jail or spiritual jail which is hell where he makes the most horrible place of infinite torture suffering curses for all eternity.

To make things even worse he gives himself is much pleasure and power and influence as possible what people below him have to suffer.

. . .

He has all the power and all the ability to stop all the bad and make a wonderful world but he doesn't do any of that.

Ever !

. . .

There's no shortage of what God can do, and a massive Shortage of what God can't do.

but you see God doesn't care.

. . .

All the religions are wrong, not a single one of them get any benefits or results and then that's the only people benefiting from the religions of the people preaching their religions there isn't a single person who's had a Holy Experience and a single person that a spiritual encounter when it came to the abrahamic faith.

Also Buddha ism is complete and absolute bullshit it's 100% spiritual fraud !

. . .

Notice how a lot of the stuff in the world the popular stuff is usually ironically garbage because the human race is an idiocracy it's an idiot it's an Angelic Alien Idiocracy.

I say Angelic because most human beings really really don't like being dark and they don't like the dark they might have they might be a flawed Angel and have a little a little interest in the dark or have some things that are frowned upon or seen as sinful but there are very rarely any human beings who are just actual fucking dark entities they're very rarely you ever see human beings act animalistic or dark the vast majority human race through all the country on the earth don't just frown upon that that's repugnant and ultimately disgusting to them.

Even if even if those ways are more logical human beings care more about the emotions and they do care about the logic.

But ultimately I want to let you know that in this thing is that the human race often prays to God for absolutely everything and God hasn't done a single thing back and there are many other religions they pray to many other deities and they didn't get results either which leads someone to the path of atheism and scientism.

These people got got involved into a lot of spiritual bullshit and I got them it got them to believe you do to their a skewered experience throughout multiple years that the Paranormal is bullshit but I assure you God is real and I assure you God doesn't give a fuck.

God is real and he doesn't care about your life about your pain about your suffering about your wings about your losses about your life about your death about how hurt you are about how happy you are.

God doesn't care in the slightest fuck what happens to you.

And yet he still willing to throw your ass allegedly in Hell after death then if God throws people in the hell, explain hunting !

. . .

On top of the fact a Christian might say that a ghost is just a demon then what they're in the Christian religion a demon is a fallen angel but fallen Angels don't make any fucking sense because God is all knowing the Angels fell when they rebelled with Satan who was perfect who rebelled against God and God did not know that Satan or Lucifer was going to rebel against God but he's all knowing, but he didn't know that.

God made something perfect and he did something imperfect.

God is All knowing but didn't know the Angels were going to rebel.

. . .

God is all powerful, yet the most loyal people to God he doesn't give a shit about he let them suffer he lets any man of evil happen to them to any manner of degree doesn't stop it doesn't slow it down doesn't mitigate it in the slightest fucking bit.

God is all knowing and knows evil will happen to you and doesn't fucking stop it doesn't prevent it doesn't do anything he can change reality however he wants he can warp anything in existence there's no shortage of what God can do and what God knows and is very no shorts of God Omnipresent's !

On top of the fact of the Holy Spirit, which is taught to be fucking everywhere and in everyone and everything.

So, you just get back to the Topic of Demon's, we all know that a demon is a demonic spirit, we all know that a demon means a dark spirit, a spirit of the darkness or created from the natural demonic or dark energy or negative energy they make up the darkness but this isn't so in the Christian religion.

Christians do not believe that demons come from Darkness they do not believe demons and darkness have allegedly any connection they just portrayed them as extremely dark.

In the Christian religion they portrayed demons extremely dark because they have fallen from the light they are not saying that they are of the darkness come from the darkness are created from Darkness they are saying they simply fell from the light and they become infinite horrible bastard'd, of what they once were.

So they don't eat so they don't even fucking have to understanding of light and dark as a Christian religion doesn't want you to understand that darkness is a natural thing of the universe the Christian religion does not like eating Yang but the Christian religion is extremely violent aggressive to all other spiritual messages and all those who do not want to get into their Creed you can hear them all the time on the fucking internet constantly attacking constantly complaining constantly insulting constantly belittling constantly basically book burning attacking new ideas all the fucking time they are completely intelligent and anti truth.

They have their minds warped and twisted at Birth because the priests are telling their fucking parents to get them into the religion as soon as fucking possible and the church is a Giant fucking corporation.

It's a corporation for stupid people, it's a corporation for stupid people that are extremely gullible many religions know that there is a God they give it multiple fucking names.

And the church really give people together on their human nature of community and social it's a social gathering human love that fucking shit like fucking fruit flies on a Goddamn banana !

( Ernie got them fruit or anything you leave out wet like pasta or something )

And so Christians because they're fucking human nature which is a primate thing massively flocked the fucking ugly white goddamn building

( white is not ugly color Christians made it look ugly the churches are fucking hideous yeah I'm the only one that can notice how disgusting they look )

Anything your dumbass songs they give their prayers and they put their money in their God damn this little fucking tray box and they listen to these God damn lies from a sermon up there who bullshit to them the same asshole plays a piano and they call that fucking Service.

. . .

The Church of the massive fucking Scam.

. . .

On top of the fact the stupid fucking religion the church teaches you to give infinite loyalty to someone who doesn't give a fuck about you AKA like I fucking narcissist.

! Infinite loyalty, for no Result's.

. . .

And, I'm not surprised the amount of atheists have come out of all this, when you got millions and billions of basically just human beings I don't care of the religion is what Creed they are the Christian I don't care what the fuck they say they are you got millions and billions in the fucking I know this is not how many there are but I'm just going to say this to be a smart-ass and trillions of fucking human beings screaming about the word of Jesus and there's no proof of Jesus but there's there's proof of God but there's a bitch to fucking proof but ultimately all the so called Miracles and prayers of God and all this fucking boppity bullshit

At the end of the day all that really happens at the church got richer you got poorer your head got fucked up you got gaslighted about a lot of things you got shamed about a lot of things you got a lot dumber because a lot of things you knew were true was shamed by the church, con man got richer and fatter and evil fucking people in the fucking Vatican are scheming to do more evil fucked up shit because they know they can never suffer consequences for their action cuz they're too God damn rich and Powerful the two God damn big and they're probably not even fucking human beings.

🐍 <- if only you knew the amount of shit that lived on this planet before Humanity you would realize that this isn't a schizophrenic argument to make the reptilians are real.

Human beings take up less than a fraction literally if you chart the time he went to be on the earth a human human being the entirety of the human rights literally takes less than a fucking fraction of all the time on his Planet let alone in the universe.

. . .

So the idea that something could be here before anybody else and that there is sentient life somewhere else in the universe before humanity is so fucking big it's 99 point in infinite series of nines, percent.

. . .

And if reading is you're trying to wonder what the hell is the point of long ass fucking rant of a God damn post, the point with me just let you know this Christians are stupid mother fuckers that attack everything that's intellectual that's true that's based in reality anytime other things that are spiritual and if you are an atheist I want to let you know that I'm sorry that you have to shitty experience a shitty paranormal experience on the Earth

. . .

Also, known as Planet Gaia

. . .

I want to tell you that the entire paranormal thing is real the entire spare driving is real I want to let you know that abrahamic faith is a work of fiction with extremely few elements based in reality but not as what they explain them to be, the Christian religion that you religion the mother religion you get to just are complete bullshit.

And, human beings as a species are just too fucking dumb to understand that.

I have no no problem saying there is no God but there is a God I've been with God and I do not like God.

God's not very nice, as a matter of fact God is extremely not nice.

I hope you meet God so you know how much of a prick he is, but in all honesty if you met God he probably would give your soul a second death.

🙁

! God is Really Really Fucking mean and that's a monumental understatement God is really really fucking mean.

Lastly I'll put in this long ass fucking post is that same God has a Heart of Stone would be a monumental understatement thank God has a heart of Cold Stone with also be an understatement.

Got Flat Out, just doesn't fucking Care, and I think it's about time we stop praying to God.

He's not going to help anybody he's not going to love anybody he says he loves the deities but he doesn't fucking show it.

God just wants to give everybody a middle finger and detach.

🙁

I think it's about time we just leave God the fuck alone we know of its existence

we leave it at there

[clockworkowl]

I’m combing through all the old random shit in my Evernote trying to find one specific song film idea (I frequently get entire stop motion films in my head when I listen to songs and I used to actually document them in case I ever developed enough executive function to create them so I could see them)

But instead I’m just seeing the vast array of completely vague and random things I apparently thought I would somehow understand what I meant at some later point.

For the record I don’t know if these are from me being drunk, or like sleep typing (and by sleep typing I mean lack of sleep where I had probably been up for like 72 hours plus and might as well have been asleep for all my conscious brain was working. I used to get really extreme insomnia. Now so just can’t sleep for like 32 hour chunks regularly, which is much more manageable) or whatever but anyway…

Here are some choice examples:

✏️Note title: ‘Most times a ghost is a wish’ followed by a note body that is also just ‘Most times a ghost is a wish’

✏️no title merely the words:‘Desaturated Chicago’

✏️Title: Butlers then what I think is a quote from a book and not something I composed as it is in quotes ‘Did butlers have some sort of secret society where they looked down upon the less than holy gentry.’ Then merely ‘um hell yes’ this in a notebook called plot ideas

✏️No title not categorised just the sentence: ‘I think his world was over before he entered it, but he did a marvellous job maintaining.’

✏️No title absolutely no context just ‘something like if Weekend at Bernie’s were a Stephen King coming of age horror film’

Another category are clearly snippets of dialogue but they don’t go to anything like my brain’s inner monologue got bored and was just spacing out doing improv with itself and my conscious brain heard a part of it and was like ‘yeah, write that down, you can totally use that for something I bet’ but like all of them seem like my inner monologue is like a pair of posh British private detectives in the middle of a bitchy divorce with an affect for snarky arguments.

✏️No title not categorized just:

-I think you’ll find I can tell a hawk from a handsaw.

-Always?

-Most of the time, depending on weather.

✏️No title or context just:

‘It was meant to be a battle of wits, but yours has an extra T.’

(To be fair this one is pretty good, I might actually use that sometime.)

✏️No title, no context (I have no idea who these character names are)

-For fuck’s sake Blackthorne, I made a mistake, I’ve already admitted that, are you really going to weave that into your own noose? There’s no time to be petty.

-My dear Dashiell, there is always the time to be petty.

✏️No title no context merely:

‘What’s a little murder accusation between friends?’

✏️No title just a random exchange of very stylised affected dialogue;

-‘Never mind him my dear Horatio, I knew we’d not escape the evening without being subjected to another poor Yorick.’

-‘Poor Yorick?’

-‘Indeed, a man of infinite jest; for everything he believes is merely an expression of poor wit once it is taken in the offense he meant it in. Should the wind prove north by northwest that is.’

-‘Ah, I know them well.’

[gauntsghostsfieldguide]

Anarch- Part 6

SEVEN: ARRIVALS

"At some point in its long history, the sea had invaded the dead cone through fissures like the one they had entered by. The immense internal flue had become a sea-lake ten kilometres in diameter. Around it, the inner walls of the cone rose like cliffs, a kilometre and a half high. Above, the cone was open to the heavens, a ragged circle of grey sky fringed with vapour." Oh, that's cool! I do like that kind of internal harbor.

"The most arresting sight, dominating all others, was the ship. It was an Archenemy cruiser, gnarled and scarred, a medium-displacement shiftship over a mile long. Like the tiny agri-boats beneath it, it had taken shelter in the cone of the Fastness. It hung in place on its grav- anchors and suspensor arrays thirty metres above the water, and the bulk of it seemed to fillthe open hollow of the cone’s interior." That would be a sight. A spaceship just hanging out inside the island. Since it's over a mile long, the island itself must be huge. One big, extinct volcano.

"Mkoll heard chattering. It was in his head, a constant hissing, like a thousand soft whispers." Oh, boy, voices in your head! That won't create problems!

"Here was the Emperor in the aspect of a sea god, coiling with scaled tentacles, and here he rose from the Urdeshi deeps in a vast bloom of algae. On another panel, he was festooned with weapon-pods, triumphing the product of the forge’s war-foundries. On another, he was so augmeticised with cyber implants he resembled a Titan war engine with a single, human eye." Interesting, that worship of the Emperor shifts how he looks according to the needs and views of different planets. As long as they worship the Emperor, the wider Imperium likely doesn't care how they do it.

"‘Nen, we respect,’ replied Olort. ‘He is no god, nor is he an emperor. But a prophet? Kha. Yes. He has seen the enlightenments of the Eight Powers and witnessed the truth of the warp. Ghost, your kind... they follow blindly. They see what they want to see. The Holy Lord, blessed of all, defying the darkness. But he stands in the darkness, beyond the curtain of death, fed by the warp and changed by it. He is a brother to us, a brother we must sadly fight to subdue until he renounces his insurrection.’" Interesting! The Emperor is a warp creature, one they're opposed to, since he's fighting them. They might not be wrong, too.

"‘This is the way of it,’ replied Olort. ‘You think we are the darkness. But you are the darkness. Your ignorance is a shadow on your eyes and a fog in your mind. We fight to deliver you from that. We fight, Ghost, to save you.’" Chaos forces with actual motivations!

"Rawne sniffed and trudged back to her, tugging his collar up against the incessant rain. He was soaked to the balls and his mood was foul." Poor wet Rawne. Like a wet cat.

Handy, that the Ghosts are now operating directly under Gaunt, once more. Maybe he doesn't have to give them up. Not yet, anyway.

"It’s uncomfortable for you, but at least I’m not sending you into a killing ground." Fucking ouch, Gaunt. Not that I'd resist, either.

Sabbat is much the same. Brin Milo isn't around, though.

"Laksheema strode in, followed by Grae. Gaunt closed the door in the faces of Van Voytz and anyone else following." LOL

"‘Brin Milo has gone,’" Oh. Well, shit.

"It was a set of Tanith pipes, old and worn, the same set Brin Milo had been playing the day Gaunt first met him." ;_;

[alienpimps]

As a former....Not really nazi, but borderline white supremacist alt-right dipshit, I'm sorry to say but you would be very incorrect, @queeranarchism. I don't know where you're making these assumptions from, and maybe you're talking about specific situations i.e. at a protest or something, but you literally cannot ever expect someone to reconsider their beliefs if they don't see the opposing beliefs being argued and won over and/or aren't given the tools to come to those realizations themselves. Logic will never win over everyone, hell it will never win over the vast majority of people, but it is still worth having these debates and "publicly owning" nazis in front of other believers. Why? Because they're either going to get defensive and cry about it, or that might be the push some of them needed to consider whether it really is an ideology that makes sense to them.

I did not leave the alt-right because nobody would debate with myself or the idiots around me. I left precisely because they would, and would poke holes in arguments, and then I'd see people far more extreme than I was arguing, and I'd be able to poke holes in their arguments thanks to the arguments people on a less extreme level than I was were having.

It is acceptable and useful to debate nazis. Because that's a small yet vital part of how you make sure there's less of them around in the future. Unless you think that people like Hasanabi aren't actually successfully doing anything by publicly doing exactly that...Which is factually not true. I have opinions on the guy but one great thing he's done is successfully show thousands and thousands of young kids and teens how unjust and full of shit the world is. He is the active pushback against the alt-right pipeline.

You cannot push against the alt-right or nazi pipeline if you do not present alternative ideas to the young and feeble minds. Simply saying "I'm right, fuck off nazi" is not enough. I know this because tumblr and the vitriolic shithole that was the liberal/leftist community on here at the time is the entire reason I became an alt-righter in the first place, because those idiots on 4chan somehow were less vitriolic than people on tumblr were. They would actually debate my liberalish views at the time. Unfortunately, I wasn't educated enough to realize that I was actually right the entire time about my viewpoints pre-4chan, but there's nothing I can do about that, because I know better now.

Edit: I also don't mean to be rude but I really don't think you should be having an opinion on this unless you've firsthand witnessed what actions are able to successfully convince and sway people. And I promise you, saying you should ignore nazis is not the solution, that is the problem. You are advocating for more nazis to exist whether you understand this or not.

Edit 2 because I'm autistic and anxious: This isn't a personal attack on you, for the record. I'm merely stating what I lived through and what I saw many others live through, and what did vs didn't work to make there be one less nazi in the world.

Edit 3 for the same reasons: It should probably go without saying, but no, for the love of all that is holy, I am not currently still an alt-righter, nazi, or white supremacist in any capacity. For fuck's sake I'm a socialist who's disabled, fervently bisexual, and borderline a radical environmentalist.

Ultimately the debate over changing the minds of our oppressors with angry words versus kind words is meaningless because it rests on the assumption that people in power will be swayed by words at all. In reality, people who have power over you have limitless ways of tuning you out or reinterpreting your words to death. It's often the case that they won't actually hear you unless there are material consequences for not doing so.