#//we are fixed right where we stand
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troublcmakcrs · 1 year ago
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//me, biting my knuckles as i try so hard not to associate modest mouse's "the view" with every single one of my muses, having craig & tweek thoughts about it-
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beartes22 · 6 days ago
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Super angry at arc 3 of arcane btw. They rushed to close everything up and it shows
#the characters are so empty#like legit the only one with normal character development is jinx. like. the only one o get where she comes from is JINX.#Also Ekko. loved what they did for him there. everyone gets desolation and he gets a slice of life romance with the (doomed) childhood crush#no one is doing it like him#but also. they don��t even MENTION isha. like. I get it. she died. it’s devastating. but?#what the fuck you go onto the next thing?? WHAT THE FUCK#and I won’t even touch Viktor ‘’’I’m gonna build a place to heal people’ to ‘everyone is a hive mind machine now’ like WHAT#ngl I thought the fandom would be like Jayce I stand by my cancelled wife and all#BUT THE CANON WENT AND JUST….DEPRIVED VIKTOR OF CARE AND HUMANITY? HE IS JUST A WEAPON AND A CALAMITY NOW I GUESS??#Like yeah….he was doomed from the start with the sickness and the canon and all but? there’s doomed by the narrative and there’s like…#WE WILL PUT HOLES THROUGH YOU AND LACK OF CARE AMD COMPASSION AND UNDERSTANDING UNTIL YOU FUCKING GET YOUR DOOM#GET WITHTHE NARRATIVE VIKTOR YOUARE EVIL#‘no I am just healing people from shimmer which is very bad and harmful and painful’‘#NO VIKTOR YOU ARE EVIL SEE? THAT WHY I KILLED YOU BC YOUARE EVIL#existence became so painful to him he went and said no there’s not fixing this. I am throwing my emotions in the waste bin and go machine’#WHY DOESNT HE GETS TO BE ANGRY AND BETRAYED? LIKE AT LEATS SILCO GOT TO BE RIGTEOUS#WHY IS THIS SHIT AGAIN THEY TRY TO KILL YOU BC YOU ARE EVIL AND THEY TURN YOU INTO EVIL BC WHATS LEFT BUT THEN THEY WERE RIGHT TO DO IT??#LIKE. no. I’m sorry but no. fuck that I’m out.#FUCK THIS SHIT I AM WO ANGRY#VIKTOR?? VIKTOR IS THE BIG BAD? THE THING THAT UNIFIES ZAUN AND PILTOBER? FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.
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autisticlee · 2 years ago
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contrary to my last post...how do you know if you're aromantic, or you just haven't found the mythical and elusive "THE ONE" everyone keeps going on about and promises me I will find?
every time I say i'll never date or find someone I can't stand being around or who will like me, someone always 100% of the time tells me "you have to keep looking! you will find The One™ one day! they're out there! they're real!"
i've wondered if i'm aromatic for my whole life (or at least since I learned that was a thing when I got internet as a teen) but how do you know
I feel like when I see kther aro people out there, they are so sure of themselves! they know how aro they are and aren't questioning it. it's like how I know for sure i'm asexual (being sex repulsed made that one easy lmao) but aromatic seems different and less solid.
generally, I don't care. i'm not looking for a partner and don't generally think I want one. i'm fine alone/without a relationship. it seems like tol much work and trouble. I can't even make and keep friends! why would I date?
but I feel very lonely seeing everyone in my life pair off and I have no one to rely on or lean on. I would love to have a best friend or small group of close friends, but my useless autistic ass can't even do that. but that's another rant lmao.
i always remember when someone told me once that if I want a best friend, I need to date someone. "adults don't have best friends, jnsywas they date and pair off. their partner is their best friend. you can't call another adult you aren't dating your best friends. that's only for kids."
that's so sad and lonely, yet everyone seems to believe or at least follow that dumb logic. it's times like that where I think "maybe it would be nice to have a partner," but I don't know if I just want that close relationship, or actually want a partner.
I don't know if i'm capable of being romantically attracted to someone. I know I want a really close relationship with someone where I can trust and rely on them fully. they're always there for me and I for them. we do everything together and help each other grow and live in this difficult world. but I don't want it to come with that awkward and annoying dating and romance expectation. I don't want to go on awkward first dates and have awkward "are we a thing" stage and then have the possibility of a breakup. (I can't deal with friendhips ending. a breakup would end me lmao)
I used to always say I wanted to be friends with someone first before for a while we date so I can know if I can't stand being stuck with them and them with me for a long period of time. that way I can see if if are compatible first. I think it's weird and irresponsible when people start dating before knowing who someone even is. that's just so weird (and lowkey scary) to me lmao. but I have also learned that people thinks irs wierd if you want to date after being friends because then they think you only became friends to date them and act weird about it even if it's not true. that's not the goal or reason. but no one i've been friends with passed my test anyway lmao
I remember talking about this with one friend a while back and them she suddenly a bit later accuses me of liking her and decided we can't be friends anymore. but she also didn't pass my test and wasn't the type of person I wanted. (I think she was also the person who said the quote above about adults can't have best friends)
i've never actually liked someone. when I was younger, I got aesthetic attraction mixed up with sexual attraction until I learned asexual is a thing and that's me. I also got romantic interest mixed up with admiration a d simply finding a person interesting. also both got mixed up with gender envy hahaha
but I don't even know if I could be in a relationship. I dont feel suited. I'm way too picky to like and trust anyone enough. i'm also a useless little gremlin and no one would ever like ME enough. then there's the barrier of the person would also need to be asexual because I can't deal with their sexual needs at all and would feel bad. i've met/talked to a total of like 5 asexual people in my life. we seem comparatively rare. none of them were for me obviously.
aromantic people as well. seems rare to me. I also know it's a spectrum. there's so many types. I could be somewhere in there. but I don't know if I should say i'm aromantic meaning I don't have an interest at all, or that i'm like demi and waiting for "The One ™" or whatever. where on the spectrum am I????
should I hope I find The One or try not to think about it? I don't want waiting for that mythical person to be my whole personality and life goal like most people do. that's annoying lmao. but I also don't know if i'm cursing myself to be lonely for life because I refuse to open up to the possibility...
I feel like this is some autistic black and white thinking coming in 😅 I know it doesn't matter much, but it drives me crazy whenever I do think about it.....
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omegasmileyface · 10 months ago
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dreams are so awesome. had a totk dream last night where i did side quests and shit it was awesome. it was also very explicit about the fact that the botw games are, canonically and explicitly and deliberately, set in the fallout universe
#i dont know if thats right actually.#there were button presses and everything it was shockingly in-depth game design for a dream#we were on a boat preparing for a voyage— let it be known i was not particularly link. i think my brain mixed up my Special Protagonists#into a slurry to represent the player character. but anyway so i had to assist with like 3 tasks preparing the ship for launch#carting a big piece of ice around with a dude in it. with a timer challenge not to melt it since the boat had lava sub-floors.#AS BOATS DO.#a rope pulling sequence involving... esentially mashing but with joysticks. nobody use this irl it sucks.#and some shit involving a malfunctioning cannon where i had to freeze the bad launches in the air (reaction time) which would apparently#let the cannoneer fix the mechanism .. anound the floating balls ? i dont get that part.#and then after that the cannoneer (who was the sort of default leader of the ship bc everybody loved her and also she was the sister of the#captain and also butch.) sent me off to join some teenagers doing everyones favorite boat activity: getting in the little platform at the#bottom of the prow creating a sort of underwater stage and swordfighting whatever comes through the water. obviously.#now like i said this was a totk dream so obviously i took care of this one through my usual botw swordfighting techniques#(standing there and mashing y and just kinda taking damage until im done)#yeah. this of course was after like 3 other dreams— THOUGH they were mostly gentle and forgettable and not drains on my sleep#so i think the citalopram is starting to wear off
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nexus-nebulae · 10 months ago
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wait i just realised something i think we defeated our self-fakeclaiming finally
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slippery-minghus · 2 years ago
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okay also... not that it's a bad thing about him as a person at all... but if i'm gonna be in a relationship with someone... fuck if i wanna be able to have an intelligent conversation with them. even if there's only a few topics we line up on in that manner. just please, anything other than usually-one-sided conversations about fandom.... 😮‍💨
#i read a thing a week or so ago about this couple who just sit and talk for hours every day#and while i don't have fucking *that* level of social energy.... some of that would be nice#i'm getting to the stage where i have to remind myself of all the reasons i want *not this*#(trying the reframe from my shrink. it's not what i Don't Want- but what i Do Want Instead)#and i feel so mean and selfish for pointing out all the ways this relationship falls short#because who the hell am *i*?? what right do i have???#we're *perfect* for each other if only we both change (or i abusively make him change) in all these ways until we're totally different ppl!#but if i don't acknowledge where things are not matching up to my wants#then it'll be all too easy to gloss over them and beloeve myself that i'm an evil monster depriving an innocent boy of his rightful soulmate#but the point of a soulmate is complementing each other.... not one person being the person that completes and fixes the other#soulmates are two complete and whole people whose paths are best traveled in parallel#not two incomplete people (or one complete and the other incomplete) who can only exist by breathing for each other#and i want the person who runs parallel to me#i want someone who can not only stand on their own two feet without me but THRIVE without me#and aw hell if that isn't a very interesting thing to want considering my historical issues with feeling inadequate#but i think both those growths go hand in hand - confidence in worth and wants#(like damn- honestly surprising myself with that one!)#i'm going to have the conversation with him either this tuesday or next...#part of me wants to rip the bandaid off but the other wants to both grant him one more Date Night#and also grant myself the proof i'm not acting impulsively and without thought—that i'm not just lashing out bc i Feel Lonely or whatever#though now that i'm thinking about it i don't know that i'll be able to keep it together knowing what i plan to do#i'm gonna need my fucking anxiety meds a lot this week and next 🙃 worth it tho... 😮‍💨#personal
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huh-i-guess · 2 months ago
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Fever
(Task force 141 x F!reader)
Summary: While out on a mission you are injected with a substance that might lead to a shift in the dynamics between the 141.
Warnings: SMUT 18+, sex pollen, fingering, dub-con/non-con (under the influence of sex pollen), choking, nasty Simon, Gaz has morals
Word Count: ~ 4.2k
(Reader's callsign is Pepper)
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I don't own MW2, the characters, or the gif above.
“What the fuck was that?” You shouted as you felt a sharp pricking sensation on your left ass cheek. You reached behind you to feel what was causing the sensation and groaned as you felt a syringe protruding from your behind. You looked down and noted that you had stepped on a pressure plate of some kind and triggered the laboratory’s defense mechanism.
“Oh fuck, lass.” Johnny mumbled.
“Shit, Pepper.” Gaz exclaimed in disbelief.
“No fucking way. Why does this shit always happen to me?” You yanked the dart-like needle from your behind and examined the leftover contents. The remaining contents appeared to be a blue syrup-like fluid. You sighed and pocketed the syringe hoping you could take it back to base to have it examined by the scientists at the lab. 
“Pepper, what was that?” Price called over the comms hearing the distress in everyone’s voices. Your thoughts ran at a mile a minute as you tried to figure out if you should tell your captain, that you probably had a mild crush on and always wanted to impress, that you just stepped on a trap. Or if you should lie. You hated lying to Price. It felt like you were letting him down and any time you did, you found yourself immediately retracting your statement and telling him the truth hoping he’d forgive your indiscretion. You readied your mouth to let out some kind of answer but snapped your mouth shut as you heard Gaz from your right side, “Looks like they tranqed Pepper or something. We were sweeping the lab and she was the first one in.” You turned your head toward Gaz and offered him a look that was a mix of thankfulness and regret. 
“Shite. You're still standing, lieutenant?” Price probed in a tone that, only those close to him could tell, was full of doubt and concern.
“Yes sir.” You pushed further into the lab taking extra care where your steps landed. The lab had been recently abandoned by russian terrorists working on some kind of bioweapon. You could only hope that you didn’t just get dosed with whatever they were concocting. As the three of you pressed further into the dingy lab you felt like the mass of your body was slowly doubling. 
“Soap. Gaz. If I drop, I need two to keep moving. We need to get this intel out of here as soon as we find it.” You could faintly hear the heavy footsteps of the terrorists behind you.
“No way in hell we’re leaving you behind.” Gaz contended. 
“Listen I-” 
You were quickly interrupted by Laswell’s voice in your ear, “Pepper. Evac will get to you and the boys in 11 minutes. It’ll be 2 clicks north of your current location. We’ll get you to the safe house from there.” 
“Copy.” You replied as Soap took a step closer and fixed his mouth to ready a response to your order. 
“Lass I don-”
“Listen. We don't have time for this. I don’t know what I got hit with but I know that at the moment we have a job to do. Let’s keep moving while I can and clear the files we came for. You will keep moving if I drop and that’s final. This mission can't be a waste of time.” You were met with an apprehensive “Yes Ma’am” and a “got it LT” and you snapped your head around to continue sweeping the lab. 
You knew you were being harsh but if you gave them room to argue you’d be stuck here going back and forth with them about it. Truthfully it was a ruse to make it look like you weren’t basically shitting bricks. You couldn’t stop the thoughts that flew through your mind.  I’m going to die today. Holy fuck I’m not making it out of this. I don’t know what I got hit with. How long do I have? You didn’t have much going on in your home life so the thought of a family didn’t even cross your mind until you thought about who around you did have one. Soap had his sisters back in Scotland that loved to “force” him to watch those really crappy rom-coms that he claimed he hated so much but then recommended for team bonding nights. Then you had Gaz who had his mom waiting at home for him. She always sent him care packages with little hand written notes that gave him updates on the status of his neighbors’ cat who had slowly been making itself comfortable on their property back in London. She even sent him photos of the cheeky little tuxedo cat. Your mind shifted from thoughts about yourself to thoughts about them. I have to get these boys out of here. They have so much going for them. They really are some of the best we have to offer. I can’t let them down. If I can't get out of here at least they can. 
Gaz went to the computer and plugged in a decryption device and began to sift through the scientist's digital files while Soap went through some of the scattered papers left in the room.
“They were in such a rush to get out of here they weren’t even effective at scrubbing their drives. Pep, I think I might have something.” You walked to the computer Gaz was stationed at and noticed a folder titled “Project Vitality”. 
“Good job, Gaz get it and we go. Soap anything?”
“A couple of poorly redacted files with the same name.” Soap chipped from your left. You made your way to him and patted his shoulder in praise.
“Alright we gotta move.” You heard the footsteps boom as the incoming enemies approached. You felt yourself slowly start to stall and noticed you had a difficult time focusing your eyes. It was like you were wearing a pair of glasses that weren’t meant for you and you couldn’t take them off. You willed your eyes to focus but it was becoming a hassle. Fuck me. You turned your head to Soap on your left and said, “Soap I need you to take point on the way out. I'll watch our backs as we exit.”
“Are you-” he started then pressed out a short, “Will do.” The look on his face was filled with so much concern, that for his sake, you almost wanted him to ask you if you were okay. He turned and rushed out of the room followed by Gaz and you at the back. The three of you navigated the winding corridors of the combatant base and made your way back, passing the rooms you had previously cleared. 
“Pepper. How we doing?” Price questioned over comms.
“Got the documents and drives, sir.”
“I know you did. That’s not what I’m asking about.”
“What kind of answer do you want, Cap?
“You know what I want to hear.” You knew Price wanted the truth but you couldn't let him know the fact that you might be starting to lose motor function and that the mass of your body felt like it had doubled. There was a large part of you that wanted to make him proud and craved his approval so the thought of disappointing him always stirred something deep inside you. But then there was Gaz and Soap. They were your sergeants and they often looked to you for guidance. The image they had of you rarely faltered from confidence and strength. They were right by your side and were clearly worried for you. If you told the truth to them they probably want to stop and question your status or maybe even try to do some kind of makeshift field evaluation on you and you’d definitely lose out on valuable time. 
A shaky, “I’m doing just fine, sir.” fell from your lips then silence. A sigh from Price that was then followed by a gruff, “Bring it in safe. I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Of course sir.” You acknowledged. He knew you were lying. The slight tremor in your voice told him exactly what he needed to know. 
Soap led the three of you out of the compound but not without running into a couple of the remaining terrorists that missed your group upon arrival. You, although struggling to see and move, caught the slight movement as you three made your way to the entrance of the compound. A brown jacket sleeve that moved just a bit too slow was all you needed to gather that the combatants had reached your location. Years of intense practice and strenuous training had you firing your weapon with a practiced precision that was barely impacted by your declining physical state. 
As soon as you exited the compound you were met with a glaring brightness from the snow of the siberian tundra. The almost blinding whiteness was a massive contrast to the dimly lit compound so the massive shift in intensity had your head spinning. Gaz noticed you stumbling but only met you with a face of concern and a hand on your shoulder as he watched you struggle to get your bearings. 
Trekking through the Siberian tundra in your worsening condition was one of the hardest things you'd had to do in your career. The whirling of the wind was so intense that it felt like someone was screaming directly next to your ear and the pressure of it was enough to make your head pound. The snow was coming down so hard that each snowflake that hit your face felt like a tiny pin prick over and over again. Your feet were so deep in the snow that it felt like you were gaining an extra 20 pounds of weight with the effects of the drug starting to control your movements. You tried to pull yourself together. It was undeniable at this point that you would not be winning the battle against whatever medication they injected you with.
“2 minutes till evac” Ghost chimed in your earpiece. Your hearing was so sensitive that you could almost feel the loud mechanical static and the whirl of the helicopter in the background of his response.
“Oh my days. Ghost is the one flying us out? I don’t want to end up out the bloody chopper again” Gaz groaned. Oh. I wasn’t the only one to hear the helicopter then. 
“It was either me or you freeze out there, Sergeant.”
“LT, if you fly that thing the way you drive, Gaz might be better staying down here. Less chance of him getting thrown from the bloody thing.” Soap chirped. 
The world slowly started to look like a mass of colors and shapes with no definite beginning or end. The only thing you could do at this point was push and pray that you were gonna have enough strength to make it to the evac point. Everything was so intense that overwhelming wasn't even the right word to describe the feeling. You struggled to pick up your head as you began to hear another distinct whooshing sound that could only belong to that of a Puma HC2.
“I’m here aren’t I?” Soap and Gaz stopped moving as Ghost put the helicopter on the ground. 
“I’m glad you are sir. Good to see you, Ghost.” Soapsaid as he flung the door open and made his way on the aircraft.
“Always good to see that ugly mug of yours, Johnny.” Ghost turned his head to get a good look at everyone. “ Pepper, you don't look too hot.” Ghost concluded as you dragged yourself into the seat next to what you could have only imagined was Gaz. The words that came out of your mouth were something along the lines of “Not” and “Good” but no one really understood you with how slurred your response was. They did however understand that something was really wrong when your body slumped backward and went limp next to Gaz. You could vaguely hear the commotion of Gaz, Soap, and Simon, around you as they shouted your name and desperately tried to keep you from slipping out of consciousness. The last thing you heard was Price pressing to be informed on your state and him telling Ghost to get all of you to the safe house. 
---
“A neurotoxin that sends the body into overdrive. Increases nervous sensitivity and impulsivity, and impairs functionality of the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus.” Price read from the lab report with a stubby cigar in hand.
“Why the hell would they want to make something like that?” Gaz questions.
“Apparently in small doses it can be used as an aphrodisiac that it increases blood flow throughout the body, promotes sexual stamina, and increases pleasure outcomes? They must’ve been trying to develop something to sell on the streets.” Price continues.
“Right so they dosed her with super viagra?” Soap questioned. 
“That's what it sounds like?” Gaz said. 
“I thought that stuff didn't work on women?” Simon interjected. 
“It looks like they’ve altered it so it impacts both sexes but they haven’t been able to work out the less desirable symptoms. Tachycardia, fever, headache, dizziness, loss of consciousness, heart failure, and death.” Price paced as he read the outcomes. 
“Oh shit.”
“Heart failure? Death? How do we make sure that that doesn’t happen?” Gaz frantically questioned.
“The only way the toxin can be expelled from the body is through coitus…” Price trailed off as he dropped his cigar into a bowl. That can’t be right. He read it three times just to be sure and the words on the page didn’t change. 
“Steamin’ Jesus.” Soap deadpanned.
“No blood way.” Gaz stood with an open mouth. 
“Someone has to fuck her.” Simon said. 
---
When you awoke, you noticed you were lying on a firm mattress and were surrounded by the smell of smoke laced with a heavy sweetness that only came from Price’s cigars. You felt undeniably cold and couldn’t help but to shiver. You rubbed your fingers across your palms and felt them drenched in sweat. As you slowly began to turn to your side, you were overwhelmed with the feeling of the rough sheet that laid under you. 
“What the fuck?” You noticed that you had been stripped out of your vest and snow gear and were left in your black polyester thermals. You could feel every inch of fabric that you wore and immediately moved to take off the thermals. You were left in your sports bra and underwear.  Why am I taking off my clothes? I’m freezing? You ran your hands up and down your body trying to get a semblance of warmth but then decided that putting thermals back on would be too much for your unusually sensitive skin. As you dragged your hand down the sides of your thighs you couldn't help but notice how good it felt to touch yourself. You moved your hands to your inner thighs and couldn’t contain the moan that slipped from your mouth. You brushed your hand over the gusset of your panties and whined at the feel of your hand gliding over your already sensitive clit. 
“Pepper?” rushed out of Gaz’s mouth as he entered the room. He looked over to the pile of thermals on the end of the bed. “How are you feeling?” he probed.  When did Gaz get so attractive? He wore a red henley that hugged his arms perfectly and his soft curls made an appearance without the presence of his well worn UK hat. He made his way over to you and touched your forehead. “You’re burning up. Damn. The fever’s started.” The feeling of his hand on you was almost indescribable. He was warm and firm and exactly what you felt you needed at that moment. 
You felt yourself acting on purely impulse as you grabbed his hand and dragged it down to your mouth. You started to kiss his palm and moved your attention to his thumb. You placed it firmly between your lips and began to suck. “Oh fuck.” Gaz exhaled as he watched you with wide eyes. You continued your ministrations and moved from his thumb to his index and middle fingers. You began to lick around his digits before you engulfed them in your mouth with a guttural moan. You could taste the salt and gunpowder from the mission and it only made you crave him more. You lifted your gaze to him and willed your eyes to meet his. The groan that fell from his lips was divine. You removed his fingers from your mouth and helped his hand descend to where you really needed him. “Fuck. No. I can't do that princess. Not when you're like this.”
“But I really really want you to. Come on, Kyle. It’ll help me feel so much better.” You purred. Gaz let out a shaky breath, pulled his hand from you, and walked out the room but not without you noticing him readjusting himself in his pants. Fine, I'll do it myself. You sighed and pulled your panties down your legs till they rested at your ankles. You slid your fingers between your legs and gasped at how wet you were. You slowly started to trail your finger through your folds, collecting some of the wetness that had dripped from you and began to rub your clit. As soon as your finger pressed against your reactive little nub you were in heaven. You started in small circular motions and rubbed until you felt you needed more. You moved your other hand to your breast and tugged at your nipple. You kneaded and grabbed your breast like it was the key to your survival. You’ve never felt like this before. It's like you can feel everything, everywhere, all at the same time. You felt the rough fabric of the sheets, the scratchy wool of the pillow behind your head and you felt the soft cotton that was resting around your ankles.  You were still shivering from the fever but you felt like you could feel the stimulation of your clit in your toes. You needed more. 
You moved your hand from your plush breast to rest right at your soaked opening. You circled your middle finger a few times just to get it wet, and sank right into your leaking entrance. “Oh fuuuuuck”. You could feel the pressure of the finger at your walls as you started to curve your finger inside of yourself searching for your g-spot. You continued rubbing your clit and curling your finger inside of you hoping to seek your elease. It felt so good but it just wasn't enough. You slipped in another finger and moaned at the intrusion. You started to pant and whine with how good you were feeling, but you felt yourself needing more. You continued the calculated movements and felt your orgasm approaching. You just needed a little more. One more push to get you there. One curl of your finger turned to two, then to three, then the pleasure turned into frustration. “Fuuuuuuck.” You groaned as you  pulled your fingers from your body and layed on the mattress in a heap of sweat and frustration. You felt yourself slowly drift back into the unconscious void even as you worked to steady your breaths.  
---
“She sucked my fingers. Wanted me to fuck her. With my fingers. Uh she begged me to. And she was down to her knickers” Gaz confessed as he dropped his eyes to his combat boots, too unsure to look at his team. 
“Did you lad?” Price probed. 
“No, I couldn't do it. I really thought about it and I- I don't know. She definitely has a fever though.”
“Hm.” Was all that left Price's mouth. 
“We're gonna have to check up on her. Make sure her heart isn't working too hard and see how to keep her satiated. For her sake.” Simon stated matter of factly. 
“Does it say it has to be expelled through “sexual intercourse” or can she just, ya know, uh.. “Get there”, and work it out her system.” Soap questioned, looking toward Price and seeking the answers he normally has. 
“Johnny. It says coitus.” Simon replied. 
“No one’s gonna fuck her like this. It’s not right.” Gaz stated.
“What if we have to?” Soap doubted.
“Maybe we should see if an orgasm is the solution. If that doesn't work then last resort, someone will do what needs to be done.” Price said with a sense of finality. 
---
You felt the press of two fingers at your carotid artery and shivered at the warmth they offered. You fluttered your eyes open and nearly jumped out of your skin when they met dark brown ones behind a human skull mask. You’d seen Simon before and regularly worked with him but you'd never woken to him standing over you like the grim reaper.  
“Jesus, Simon.” 
“‘Just checking your heart rate.” He confirmed. Simon almost always has his gloves on. To feel his fingers at your neck had you craving more of his touch. You grabbed his hand that was at your neck and splayed it across your jugular. You looked up at him with full, pleading eyes and felt him squeeze a bit. A light moan left your lips as you begged him to squeeze harder. The groan that left his mouth would surely implant itself in the depths of your mind for years to come. The sound coming from him went straight to your core and you felt yourself clenching your thighs. 
“Simon, please.”
“Fuckin’ hell. Don’t look at me like that. Not while you've got your knickers round your ankles.”
“Please. Si. I need you. I’m so fucking horny. I can feel everything Simon. Please just help me feel good. I promise I’ll be good. You can use me however you want. However you need to. Please.”
“Don't say that y/n.” He turned his gaze away from your face. 
“I mean it. Please help me.”
“Just my fingers darling.” 
“Yes. Yes, thank you so much.” You nodded your head eagerly and bit down on your lip. If your fingers weren't working to get you there, maybe his would. You parted your legs for him and he hung his head and rolled his shoulders while he let out a deep “Fuck”. His grip on your neck tightened and you felt your head go light. “Oh fuck yes.” His other hand made its way between your plush legs and ran between your folds. Simon’s eyes were locked onto your pussy and he was in awe of how wet you were. He knew what the toxins effects on you were but to see them in person had him stiff as a board in his pants.  Fuck this was so wrong of him. He knew he wanted to help you but part of him was living out his sick and twisted fantasies. To have you, a stunning woman, dripping wet and begging for him to fuck you, he’d be insane to not feel at least a bit aroused. He dragged a finger around your clit and almost purred at the whine that left your lips. He continued to make slow and tedious circles around your clit. 
“Simon, please I need more. Can you - mmm fuck- can you fuck me?” How could he deny you when you’ve asked him so nicely. 
“Only with my fingers, darling.” He slipped in two fingers and groaned at how tight you were. Your back arched so deeply and he wondered to himself what it would be like to be behind you when you arched like that. Simon began to work his fingers inside of you. He started with slow but deep pumping motions and moved onto scissoring his fingers inside of you searching for that special spot that he knows will make you tick. Your breath hitched in your throat and you let out a long high pitched squeal. 
“Is that it, darling? Right there? Hm?” He beamed with a sense of condescension that made your pussy tighten on his fingers. 
“Oh fuck Simon. Please, please let me cum.” His fingers were hitting all of the right parts of you and you felt your orgasm nearing. 
“Of course you can come, darling. Fucking soak my fingers. I know you need it. Come on, darling.”
You slid your hand down to your clit and rubbed it in furious circles. His grip tightened on your neck and you felt fuzzy everywhere. “Cum all over my fingers. Make a mess, why don't you.” And at that final comment from Simon, you felt the band within you snap as you had one of the most intense orgasms of your life. Your toes curled and your back was nearly curved into a C shape. Your pussy clenched and unclenched as Simon continued his assault. You felt your ears ringing from the intensity of the orgasm and felt like you lost hearing for a little moment. As you panted and tried to recover from your climax, Simon removed his drenched fingers from you, lifted his mask to just below his nose, and brought his hand up to his mouth. He locked eyes with you and you watched him in amazement as he cleaned you from his fingers. Your eyes flutter at how intense the sight was. His strong jaw, scarred but pink lips, and traces of stubble left you wanting more. He moved the hand that was on your neck back to your pulse point to check your heart rate.
“It’s slowed a bit. Get some rest," and with that he left the room and you felt yourself slip from consciousness.
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corkinavoid · 6 months ago
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DPxDC Shit Fae!Danny Has Said While Living With Waynes
Danny, making a 'got your nose' gesture: Hey Jason, look, I've got your name!
Red Hood, who suddenly can't remember his own name: What the fuck
Bruce, in a tired dad voice: Danny, please, we talked about this, return your brother's name back
Danny: Oh, come on, it's not like he even uses it
Jason, thankfully remembering his name: And I repeat, what the f u c k
Steph, at dinner: I was wondering, what do faeries even eat normally? Like, flowers and stuff?
Danny, his eyes two black voids inside his eyesockets: The souls of the innocent
Steph: So that's a 'no' on the flowers?
Danny, back to normal and shoving a bagel in his mouth: I mean, I can, but would you want to stay on the crumbs-only diet when you are in a 5-star Michelin restaurant?
Tim: It's actually 3-star. Michelin rating system only has three stars, not five.
Dick: Are you saying that people are basically food joints for Fae?
Damian, at Constantine: It would do you well to choose your wording better when speaking to fair folk-
Danny, very much a fair folk, appearing out of thin air in the Cave: Yolo, s'up bitches, guess who's back in town!
Damian: -even when they do not necessarily do so themselves.
Constantine, looking between them: Are you sure you're the human and he is the changeling?
Tim, 46 hours of no sleep: Hey, if you can take a name from someone, does it mean you can take, like, other things that have no real shape or form?
Danny: Names do have shape and form, they even have taste. Yours is like a ping-pong ball made out of really dense cotton candy with banana-caramel flavor.
Tim, losing his touch with reality: Dense banana cotton candy...
Danny: By the way, I know you wanted to ask me if I could take your need to sleep from you, and theoretically, the answer is yes.
Tim, his whisper full of hope: ...will you?..
Danny: No. Either go to sleep or keep suffering. I'm not here to make your life easier.
Danny, after a half-an-hour rant on the Fae customs and traditions: -and Fae never tell the truth, but also never lie. It's a work of art, you know, say what you want but never in a way that makes sense.
Jason: So Fae just like to fuck with people.
Danny, looking him in the eyes, smiling and winking: Sure, humans are very fuckable.
Bruce, trying very hard not to pay attention to this: Can you make an example?
Danny: Sure. I lied.
Bruce: Where?
Danny: :)
Bruce, feeling like he is about to lose his mind: W h e r e ?
Alfred, right after he heard Dick's muffled screaming in the hallway: Young Master Danny, would you mind returning Master Dick his ability to talk in coherent sentences?
Danny, obediently standing up and walking out of the library: ...okay.
Bruce: How come he always listens to you?
Alfred: He knows what I will do if he doesn't.
Danny, returning to the library: He will change all the silverware to iron-ware. As well as the doorknobs and hairbrushes and lightswitches and everything else.
Alfred: Did you fix Master Dick's shoes?
Danny: I did. But I still think that making all of his shoes left ones was funny.
Alfred: Indeed, it was.
| <-prev | next-> |
There's also a fic now.
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all-purpose-dish-soap · 1 month ago
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58 / 2.2k / shapeshifter familiars 141 tormenting witch reader for Halloween c:
...
You hum a song to yourself as you pull herbs from your garden and pile them into the crook of your arm. The sun sets rosy this evening; the sky is clear and the moon will be new.
You turn to go in, brushing off your black skirts with your free hand. But a familiar face darken your doorway. Nobody was there a moment ago. Your serene face falls into a sour frown.
"Soap."
Soap gives you a cocky grin. He hasn't lost that insufferable arrogance. "Evenin', witch."
You approach him with your herbs in tow. "What sad state of affairs brings you to my doorstep?"
"Aw, no warm welcome for your favorite scoundrel?"
"I favor you more as a crow."
"Handsome in all my forms, then."
You stop in front of him. It's clear you're going to have to wait for him to move or else squeeze past him. You plant your feet and wait, squaring your sight with his. "Where are the other two?"
Soap plucks one of the flowering herbs with his fingers to inspect it, then twirls it between his fingers. "About somewhere, likely causing the usual mayhem. They'll be right on my heels."
Your frown deepens. This is the fourth impossible quest you've sent them on. And they keep coming back. "Did you fetch what I asked?"
Soap raises an eyebrow as he moves closer to you, his eyes fixed on yours. He raises the plucked flower to his lips. There's an edge of challenge in his voice as he answers. "We did indeed." He gently sets the flower back on top of the pile. The he pulls out a small vial and dangles it in front of you. "And a little extra somethin' for you."
You reach for the vial only for him to pull it back.
Soap's smirk widens. "Pay up first."
Cold irritation spikes through you. You know just how he'd prefer to be paid. You shoulder past him and into your cottage with a scowl.
Soap, of course, follows you in, saunters through your front door, and kicks it shut behind him. He's not the least bit deterred by your annoyance. In fact, he quite likes it. He runs his fingers along the various bottles and implements on the shelves with idle interest. "Oh, come now. You ought to be glad we're back."
You cast your herbs into a basket near the sink. Then you stand at your scrying table, flensing knife in hand, and carve a niche into your palm. The pain is nothing. Not even when you squeeze your hand into a fist to force more blood out. It drips into the wooden bowl underneath.
Payment is payment.
Soap's breath hitches. He's watching you with keen interest. He likes watching you work, your precise, calculated movements and your confident touch with the knife.
The sight of your fresh blood only makes his smirk wider. He takes a step closer behind you to get a better view. "There are easier ways to pay your dues," he says. His hands come around to rest on the countertop on either side of you. "More pleasurable ways. Other, ah, fluids with which to slake thirst."
"Keep your distance, shapeshifter," you tell him. "Or you get nothing."
Soap rests his chin on your shoulder. The touch is far too familiar. His fingers twitch with anticipation, as if the blood on your hand tempts him forward. He's always been a touch perverse, anyway, about you wounding yourself to feed him. This is all your fault isn't it? Sending them quest after impossible quest. They only demand payment because you insist upon such extremes, naively thinking it will kill them.
"You think you have enough blood for all of us? There's an easier way. Just think," Soap murmurs in your ear. "My lips on your neck. My fingers inside you."
His words sends heat unbidden into your core. Unnaturally so. Immediately, your eyes flash, and an unseen force pushes him away from you.
Soap stumbles backwards from you, his body slamming into the nearby shelf. His shoulders heave, and he breathes heavier. Still smirking, but also looking a little more interested.
You see it in his eyes, what he doesn't say or acknowledge: he likes when you push back. He craves it. He likes to see you assert yourself.
"No need to be so inhospitable." That insufferable grin, cocky and smug again. "Just thought you might want to save your bleeding for more important things."
You ignore this. He takes a seat in your chair, and you resume your work. Another cut. Something brushes at your ankles--something purring and black.
"Gaz."
He purrs, deceptively soft and sweet as he twines around your feet. More blood from your palm hits the bowl. Gaz's nose twitches. He turns his intense cat-gaze upward to watch you from the ground. You ignore it.
Gaz is a more patient man than Soap. He knows exactly what effect Soap's words had on you. He can smell your response on the air, and it entices him. But he knows not to press.
Still, after a stretch of silence watching your blood pool, Gaz grates out a low meow as a bid for your attention. Then he jumps up onto the counter and pushes his kitty face into the blood bowl.
Soap clicks his tongue. "Jealous."
You push Gaz away just as his whiskers start to tremble. "Stop that."
Gaz gives a dissatisfied meow. He sits back on his haunches. With a glare, he licks one of his paws in distaste for your scolding.
You deposit him on the floor. Then you get back to work. Quickly, as you hear the distant call of a screech owl. Gaz saunters away with a languid stretch of his back legs.
The owl's cry echoes again. Louder now. And in reply, a dog outside your window howls.
Your heart thumps. Faster, you bid yourself. You dig your fingertips into the gash in your palm just to draw out thicker clots. Faster. No, there's no time. Casting the flensing knife aside with a clatter, you take the bowl in your uninjured hand and turn, hurrying to stand in the doorway. Two of them inside is enough. You don't want any more in your home. No more. It's all you can do to protect your home from what you brought upon yourself.
The dog howls again. Right outside. Then there's the sound of animal shifting to man, and an enormous shadow darkens your doorway before you can reach it. Ghost. He fills the door frame, towering over you and blocking your path. He's so tall and broad that, deliberate or not, every move feels like a challenge to your authority over him. He's on your side, you remind yourself. His size makes him a formidable ally. And a devastating foe, when he wants to be. He's looking at you like he's contemplating being just that.
He doesn't need to announce why he's here, and he doesn't need to say anything else. He's come for payment just as Soap and Gaz have. He'll take it from you one way or another.
Ghost's expression remains inscrutable. But he burns with an emotion you sense and he carefully hides.
"What's the hurry?" The words are low and gravelly.
You stare up at him as you force your nerves to steady. "Must you transgress into my home?"
Ghost's broad shoulders bunch beneath his tattered cloak. His dark eyes take in the scene before him, the way Gaz and Soap make themselves too comfortable in your home. Then they flicker down to the blood. He doesn't have much patience for these games of push and pull. "You expect us to drink from a bowl? Like swine at a trough?"
You cock your head. "Shall I fetch you all soup spoons?"
Ghost's scowl deepens. "Smartass witch. Be grateful we've been lenient with you."
"Have you?"
It's either amusement or contempt that flashes across Ghost's face. You're not sure which. "Do you need me to demonstrate what it means to not be lenient?" He shifts his weight, his shadow stretching and darkening the room around him. "With your insults and feeble scraps?"
"Payment is payment. Whether or not the blood comes in a bowl shouldn't matter. The source is the same."
He doesn't appreciate mind games. And he definitely doesn't appreciate when you, his witch, are the one playing them. You shouldn't play with him when he's already on edge. "Spoken like a woman who's never known how to starve." He strides closer. The sound of the floor shifts under his weight. He only stops when he's close enough to make you feel like the walls are closing in on you. He reaches forward, and with his forefinger, wipes one of the droplets from the rim of the bowl. He brings it to his lips and licks it off his finger. "The blood doesn't matter."
"The blood doesn't matter?" you echo, doubtful. "That doesn’t seem to be the case."
Ghost's eyes flicker with something. Hunger. "No," he murmurs. "You could fill the bowl with anyone's blood. It's you that makes the difference. You spill it. You offer it. That vulnerability is… personal. Better than blood. Fresh. Warm. A piece of you."
He runs his finger along the edge of the bowl and leaves a wet streak along the rim. He's watching you watch him. "You and your foolish demands. Your workarounds. Blood in a bowl isn't real vulnerability."
He takes a step closer and towers over you. "You think we don't notice how you go out of your way to make it as impersonal as possible? You're meant to give us something we want for our services. You'd be better off bleeding someone else dry and offering that up." He leans in closer and runs his gaze over you with a subtle tilt of his head. "But you would never try that, would you?"
"I told you I won't hurt other people for you. The contract is with me and me only."
Foolish promises. "That doesn't mean you get to cheat us."
You offer the bowl with more force. "Drink."
His annoyance flares. Your stubbornness, your arrogance--qualities that both make you a desirable object of focus and chip away at the shapeshifters' patience.
But they’ll be able to teach you a lesson for it sooner or later.
Ghost reaches forward, grabs your wrist, and raises the bowl to his lips. He looks you dead in the eye as he drinks.
Soap is at his side instantly. His pale eyes fix on the bowl.
You hear Gaz shift from feline to human behind you. He draws up until you feel his body heat.
"Now isn't that much nicer?" Gaz says, his voice just as cocky and insufferable as ever. "Nothing wrong with making it personal once in a while. No need to be so stingy."
You watch Ghost, eyes still locked on you, as he swipes his sleeve across his mouth and hands Soap the bowl without looking.
Soap gulps down two mouthfuls with an orgasmic growl.
Gaz chuckles as he brings it to his lips, drinking until it's empty. Then he lets the wooden bowl clatter to the floor. His mouth twitches up into a lazy smirk.
You pull your wrist free from Ghost’s grasp. "You got what you needed. Give me what you brought me and get out."
"Oh, don't be like that," Soap purrs as he prowls towards you. "You enjoy our company."
"Such poor manners," Gaz says mildly. "Seems we've still got to teach you what your responsibilities are. Price won't like hearing that."
You slow, lowering the bloodied bowl into your washbasin. "Price won't come. It's not time yet."
Ghost scoffs. "Price will do whatever he damn well pleases." He prowls closer as well, the predatory sound in his voice more obvious now, like a beast preparing to sink his teeth in. "And he won't like hearing how his second-favorite witch is a lousy hostess."
"He's not coming," you snap. A tinge of fear crawls up your spine.
"Price comes when he wants," Ghost snarls. "You should remember that before you act so foolish."
You hear the screech owl again. Closer this time. The bowl clangs against the bottom of the basin and dread churns deep in your gut.
"Do you hear that?" Gaz asks softly.
"You drank all the blood," you mutter. "You didn't leave any for him. This is your fault."
Soap smiles, but he’s not meeting your eyes. "We left him plenty."
You're helpless to do anything but watch as the sound of beating wings turns to boots falling on the undergrowth outside your open door.
He stands tall, his form blocking the moonlight and shadowing the already dim room. His dark eyes land on you, and he takes in your blood-stained hand and bloodied bowl with a hard frown. What a mess you've made.
"Witch."
He crosses the room to you and takes your jaw in his rough hand. His gaze drives ice into the blood still roaring hot through your veins.
"We're going to have a chat."
...
more Soap / more Gaz / more Ghost / more Price / masterlist
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slytherinslut0 · 3 months ago
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SLYTHERINSLUT0’S KINKTOBER
october 4th — virginity loss / corruption kink.
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PART ONE | kinktober masterlist. | 2024.
pairing: mattheo riddle x berkshires!sister
summary: mattheo’s conscience can only hold him back for so long.
warnings: 18+, hogwarts uni (putting this even tho it’s obvious), jealous mattheo, flirting, tension tension tension, “we can’t do this” type of vibe, “your brother is right over there” type of vibe. bestfriends lil sister trope. part one of two.
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Morality—what is it, really? How is it measured? Is it a linear scale? Could someone be morally sound yet sometimes make an exception when the situation called for it?
Perhaps it's subjective. Anything that falls outside of the law, that is.
Mattheo forced a breath from his lungs, the drink in his hand was tasteless, some watered-down excuse for a cocktail. But that didn't matter, not really—what mattered was the way you kept laughing, the way your hand lingered a second too long on that random bastard's sleeve. The sight made something concerning coil tight in his chest, but he stayed where he was, back against the wall, sucking down drinks like he'd been tasked to it.
God, this was stupid. Morality. Right and wrong. He knew the difference, of course he did. Just because he was a Riddle didn't make him a monster. Not yet, anyway. But that line, the one between you and him—the one drawn so clearly in the sand—was practically mocking him with its absolutes and daring him to cross it. Forbidden, off-limits, the one thing he shouldn't want.
His best friend's little sister. The good girl. A virgin, no less.
"Riddle—you coming?"
Mattheo's head jerked slightly, but his mind was miles away.
He waved a hand. "I'll catch up in a bit.”
Malfoy and Zabini nodded, slipping into the night, leaving him behind in the dim, crowded ballroom. Spring dance. Hours past dusk. He didn't even know why he was still there. Normally, he was long gone before the clock struck twelve, but tonight the room pulsed with bodies and the music hummed under his skin. His drink was half-forgotten in his hand, and his gaze was fixed on a group across the room.
Or, more specifically, on you.
You were standing, black dress to your mid-thighs, half-listening to boys from your year drone on about quidditch tryouts and the usual chatter that filled the space between your breaths. But your eyes—your eyes weren't on them. You were looking at him. A soft smirk tugging at the corners of your lips, like you knew something he didn't.
His heart kicked against his ribs. Where was that line again?
You winked, and he sipped his drink. He'd always said bad decisions made good stories—but even if this (unnameable thing between you) was a story worth telling, the people to hear it would be few.
The tension grew suffocating and he finally looked away. You took that as a win, but you weren't about to let the game end there—not after you noted the tense of his fingers around his cup. You excused yourself from the group, your body moving through the crowd like water, fluid and unhurried, weaving your way toward him.
You knew the line well, the one Mattheo pretended so hard to respect. Restraint wasn't his nature—it never had been, not in the decade you'd watched him take whatever he wanted without a second thought. He wasn't made for holding back, and it showed every now and then—every time his lips crashed against yours in some hidden corner, whispering confessions of how badly he wanted more, how he ached for what he couldn't have.
You loved pushing him to that point. You loved knowing how bad he wanted you. Your brother would lose his mind if he found out. But that didn't matter, not even a little. Not when Mattheo looked at you like that.
"Having fun?" He asked upon your approach, his voice a shade too flat.
"A little." You leaned against the wall beside him, close enough that he could feel the warmth of your skin, your presence seeping into the space between you. "What about you? You seem a bit...tense."
"Tense." The word came out bland, barely audible, and he took a slow sip of his drink, like he needed it just to find his voice. "Why would I be tense?"
You wet your lips, slow, deliberate, studying him with that sidelong glance that made his pulse skip. His jaw tightened, and his eyes—those beautiful, dangerous brown eyes—scanned the room with something too close to desperation.
"Good question." You tilted your head, gaze playful, curious, like you were dissecting him right there in the half-light. "Maybe it's because you've been watching me like a hawk. Like you're waiting for me to do something...wrong."
"Maybe I'm just looking out for you," he muttered, his gaze sliding to your brother across the room, lips locked with some brunette. Mattheo's eyes flickered back to you, just for a moment. "Your brother's a little...busy, after all."
You raised an eyebrow, the corner of your mouth curving into an amused, almost wicked smile. "Ah, so that's it. You're just being my big, overprotective babysitter."
"I don't need to babysit you," he grumbled, though his gaze betrayed him, darting over to the group of boys you'd been talking to. "Just keeping an eye on the company you keep."
It was almost amusing—the way Mattheo stood there, sizing up your guy friends like they were targets in a lineup, probably mentally noting who he'd hit first if any of them dared to step out of line. He was different tonight—and you could have brushed it off, could have let that flicker of vulnerability slide, but that wasn't how this game was played. Not with him. Not with you. There was no room for naivety here.
You turned to face him now, full-on, shoulder resting against the wall as you raised a hand, fingers brushing lightly up his arm.
"Keeping an eye," you repeated as you traced the hard line of his shoulder, then down, lower, over his chest. "Ever my hero, Mattheo Riddle."
When your fingers grazed his abdomen, his breath caught and he grabbed your wrist—hard—the suddenness of it making you gasp. Then, he turned to face you, and his gaze finally met yours—really met yours—for the first time since you'd crossed the room.
"Don't." His voice was low, strained, like he was fighting himself as much as you.
Your eyes widened in mock surprise, that innocent look you'd perfected like a sport. You wore it like a halo you knew you didn't deserve.
"Don't...what?" You damn-well knew what.
His grip tightened, just enough for you to feel the heat of it, pulling you closer, so close you could feel the tension radiating off him. He wet his lips, and you melted—remembering how it felt to kiss them.
"Don't play games with me." He said. "Not tonight."
The warning was clear, but instead of pulling away—heeding his words and letting that heat simmer down—you leaned closer, defying every unspoken rule. The thrill shot up your spine, into your brain, turning everything hazy, electric. You were drunk on it.
"Why not?" Your free hand traced up his other arm and his gaze followed the movement, lips parting ever so slightly. "...afraid you'll lose?"
Before you knew what was happening, he had you spun around—so fast you barely registered the movement before your back hit the cold stone wall. His drink found the table beside him, his focus entirely on you.
"Don't to this to me. Not here," he whispered. "Your brother is right over there."
You glanced toward Enzo, still too preoccupied with the brunette to notice a thing.
"He's a little distracted, don't you think?" Your fingers on your free hand resumed their path, this time up toward his collarbone. But his other hand found them, too. You looked down. Two large hands, wrapped tight around your wrists, like he could stop the fire running through your veins if he just held on hard enough. Your thighs shook. "Gods, you really are tense tonight, aren't you?"
Mattheo's eyes narrowed, two embers gleaming in the night— his lips twitching in a way that made your pulse stutter. There was need in him now, a raw, visceral energy that vibrated between you. Untethered.
He leaned in, closer, his breath brushing against your skin. "You're impossible."
"Impossible..." you echoed, the space between you shrinking with every second. There was no choice in it. It was magnetic, inevitable. He leaned closer, and you—against all reason—matched him, drawn by a force you couldn't name. "Impossible to...resist, Matty?"
Your lips were so close, you could almost taste the flavours lingering on his breath. The heat of him drew you in like gravity, pulling you into that dangerous space where everything blurred—boundaries, rules, reason. His eyes flickered down to your mouth, his tongue darting out to wet his lips in a way that felt instinctive—
And then, the world snapped back.
Cheering—loud, raucous—followed by the sharp crack of glass splintering against the floor. It cut through the moment, pulling you both back to reality. Mattheo's gaze jerked toward the sound, and in an instant he took a step back, his hands releasing your wrists like you'd burned him—like you were the danger here, a fire he'd gotten too close to.
"We can't," he whispered, and it sliced through you. It hit harder than the crash of glass, harder than the noise around you. "You don't want this. I promise you don't."
You stared at him. You knew what he meant, what he was trying to say, the warning etched in every tense line of his body. The two of you had been over this before. You knew Mattheo Riddle was not the man who would love you, not the man who would stay, who you'd call your forever. You weren't that naive. You weren't looking for forever—you just wanted a beginning. A first. A first that would teach you the edge of desire, with someone who knew what to do.
Someone experienced.
"I do," you whispered, barely holding steady under the weight of it all—the realization that you'd almost kissed him, right here, where anyone could've seen, where your brother wasn't far. "More than anything, I do."
His jaw clenched, that flicker in his eyes darkening. He ran a hand through his hair, curls falling messily back into place, his face twisted in thought, already calculating the fallout, already seeing the inevitable consequences.
"Your brother will kill me," he muttered. "He'll kill you."
"He’s not my dad, Mattheo. I’m an adult. He doesn't have to know." The words came out firm, too firm for how fast your heart was beating. You didn't dare move closer, but the tension between you was still electric, still alive. "No one except us."
For a heartbeat, his eyes locked onto yours, and you felt it—that gravity pulling you both back to the brink. It was visible—the weight of his indecision, the way he was measuring the risk, the pull of you against the walls he was trying to keep intact. It'd been months of this. You were relentless. His scowl deepened, but he didn't pull away. He let the silence stretch, your words simmering between you like a match lit, waiting to catch fire.
And then, a nod.
Barely there, just a sharp dip of his head, almost as if he didn't want to acknowledge it himself. You couldn't tell if it was for you, or some silent permission he was giving himself, a final surrender to the pull that neither of you could fight.
"Room of Requirement," he said, vibrating with the tension that still hummed in the air. "Ten minutes."
Your stomach leapt into your throat, every bone in your body suddenly weak. After a moment that felt as though it went on forever, you nodded, and he took another step back.
"Ten minutes." You repeated.
"Ten minutes." He confirmed, before turning and heading out of the ballroom.
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usuallydyinginside · 7 months ago
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TLDR: Francesca Bridgerton is Autistic. Fight me.
Okay so I did not go into Season 3 of Bridgerton expecting to have any feelings about Francesca Bridgerton. We have seen her only in glimpses in the show and I have not read the books, so I knew basically nothing about her before binging the first four episodes.
But guys. GUYS. I will die for this autistic queen.
Okay, so starting with first impressions. We know that on her big day, Francesca went out of her way to avoid her nosy, loud family by having a very early, quiet breakfast by herself and then calming down via playing the piano (clearly a special interest of hers).
In her first balls, we see Francesca light up any time she talks about music (clearly her current or forever special interest) but as soon as men try to take it to a flirting place she IMMEDIATELY shuts down. It's clear that even as she states very matter-of-factly that she plans to marry this season, she also is baffled and uncomfortable any time someone tries to actually, ya know, court her.
At one of her first shindigs, she got attention and then went up to her brother and (while making almost no eye contact) told him (rather than asked him) that she needed a sec.
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She then sat by herself in the side of the ballroom.
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Later on, she left a ball in search of quiet and solitude to fix her sensory overload, so she went outside this time. (A thing that we know from pervious seasons is a HUGE no-no, particularly unchaperoned. But she was very respectfully near the door so maybe that's fine?) The point is that she cares very much about staying respectable so she can get this marriage thing over with and get people to stop perceiving her, yet she risks some scandal by going outside just so she can be somewhere quiet alone.
Enter: this absolute (also autistic) Prince Charming.
He says hello (so she knows he's not like trying to sneak up on her in the dark like a creep) and then just stands there. 10/10, no notes, best way to flirt I have ever seen in my life.
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Seriously just look at this. I'm in love. Never before has there been a greater sign of love at first sight than in this "standing politely five feet apart in total silence in the middle of a ball and enjoying each other's company."
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I need to go watch these first four episodes about a hundred more times, but I THINK this might be the first sincere smile we see from Francesca??!? I at least got the impression immediately that this is the first time she's felt genuinely comfortable and happy while not entirely alone this season.
Like, these nerds did not even exchange names. They barely exchanged a word. Yet you can see them falling head over heels in love right there in that moment. I don't even LIKE love at first sight tropes and they have my whole heart. They are the only exception.
Then, of course, you have this second absolutely iconic Scene of Silence where the entire Bridgerton family stares in neurotypical confusion a these two amazing weirdos. The way these two do not know each other but they DO know each other. The way they are both so happy and so comfortable but also still playing the whole society game the way they were told they had to?? I just don't have words right now.
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LOOK AT HER SMILE, GUYSSSSSSSS.
Look how happy this tiny, silent moment is making her. How she understands immediately what he's doing and is absolutely delighted to participate too even knowing her entire family is hardcore judging them from not that far away.
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And then you get this smug little look from him and it's like you can see his autistic ass thinking, "Yes. I calculated correctly. This was the correct romance option. Gold star to me." (Okay, maybe that's just how my brain works but shhhhh)
Which, of course, brings us to this absolutely hilariously awkward ND attempt at flirting. We start off with some fairly normal "whoops, I'm flustered cause you make me nervous" sort of moments, but notice how little eye contact she makes. How she only looks in his eyes very briefly and it seems like she almost has to remind herself to do so when she's doing the "polite" answers (OR later when she's genuinely interested in a topic).
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So as soon as Francesca is like "oh shit, I ruined it. I forgot how to neurotypical. It's over" then she loses patience with the practiced social niceties.
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I spent like 30 minutes trying to find a GIF and I should already be asleep so I'm not going to go learn how to make one BUT I needed to look up exactly what happens next cause it's basically the most autistic thing I've ever seen.
WHICH IS that in response to the second awkward silence after Francesca shares all of this, John's response is, "That is helpful. If you'll excuse me."
Then dude bro just WALKS AWAY WITHOUT ANOTHER WORD.
Like it would be awkward anyway but now Francesca thinks she misread a social cue so she's feeling sad, and meanwhile this absolute king is over here on a romantic mission no one asked him to do because he is that set on showing her he's listening and cares.
The man shows up at the ball and as soon as he had a paper we were all screaming "he wrote her a song!!!"
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Again, notice the eye contact (or lack thereof). I think with period dramas and women, it's easy to just go "oh she's just shy" or "she's just being demure like she's supposed to" but like NO. This girl does not want to meet anyone's eyes.
Until she does. Because in moments where she's talking about music or enjoying quiet, it's worth it to purposefully meet his eyes and see how he's feeling too. To make sure he can see she's happy.
ANYWAY, it was so much better than him writing a song for her.
SO. MUCH. BETTER.
Because he didn't just give her any ol' music. He sought out the music they'd specifically heard in the street, and he took her exact specifications on what was "wrong" with the music, and he FIXED IT. He then put the whole thing on sheet music and handed her a copy with no further explanation than this.
Our autistic lass was so excited she basically sprinted out of that ball so she could find a piano. (Which, the fact that she does this rather than try to stay and flirt/dance with the man who just gave her this incredible gift ALSO says a lot, just saying. Daphne could never.)
So our girl finds a piano and GUYS. LOOK AT HOW HAPPY SHE IS.
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I'm pretty sure this woman would accept a proposal right this second. Maybe make one herself. She is so head over heels in love with this man that it's absurd. We have watched her mask in these first four episodes, but the last two where she's interacting with John are the first times she seems genuinely happy and like the real her is shining through.
Like, does she enjoy her family? Sure. But it's obvious (and she even tells us) that she finds them overwhelming and generally to be A Lot. But these scenes? This gesture?
You can just get how seen she feels. How weird and wild and amazing it is to her that this man can see who she actually is and wants to join her there instead of making her play some part of the perfect Bridgerton who likes to be the center of attention.
(And even here - the EYE CONTACT. She glances at people when she's talking to them, but the way she looks at the sheet music is so much more intense and intimate and personal than anytime she's looking at the average person in the show. She still even in places she's most comfortable, such as sitting at the piano, makes very little eye contact and only at very specific moments.)
Anyway I'm going to sleep now but I'm sure I'll add more thoughts as they come to me. Feel free to add your own case for why Francesca is autistic and/or otherwise neurodivergent. I want to hear allllllll the thoughts.
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jinkiezzsstuff · 9 months ago
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Hello! Can I plz request Alastor x Doe! Reader where he meets Charlie's best friend who's the reader and becomes possessive over her, maybe his instincts tell him to mark the reader as his mate. The reader is a white doe. :)
Yessss i love this idea teehee i maybe got carried away and also i unintentionally made this sort gender neutral and a teeny tiny speck of smut, i hope that’s okay if not it’s at the very end so it’s skipable, hopefully i did your idea justice and hope you enjoy!! thank you so much for this xx
At first sight
PART TWO PART THREE
Word count: 3.5K
Warnings: SMUT 18+, doe reader only describes white ears tail and pink nose rest is ambiguous, possibly corny ahh dialogue, love at first sight kinda trope, angel/hellborn reader, slightly OOC Al y’know smut love, reader cooks, biting & briefly blood, penetrative sex, reader makes deal with al to give themselves to him, swearing, NOT PROOFREAD I think that’s it lmk if i missed anything!!
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Charlie ran manically around the hotel, fixing various things and studying the entire building under a microscope to ensure it looked its best. Zipping her way to the lobby, she caught the gaze of Angel Dust, who was in the middle of sucking down a frozen popsicle.
“Be nice today! Look your best, oh oh! No porn on the TV!” Charlie shouted rushed and frazzled as she came up beside Angel to fluff out the couch cushions. Husk watched silently ears zeroed in on the conversation unwillingly, focusing mainly on Angel. “Geez toots, what’s got your feathers in a bunch?”
Angel smiled amused by Charlies odd demeanour. “My best friend since, like, forever is coming here today! To see the hotel!” Charlie exclaimed lurching forward to grip Angels shoulders. Smirking at her Angel continued to suck on the popsicle. “So what, is this broad special or something?”
Charlie leaned back pulling her hands down her face, an exasperated groan crawling out from her throat. “Yes! Her mother was friends with my mom when they first came to hell, her mom ended up falling for a hell spawn and we born around the same time,” Charlie explained ringing her hands while pacing.
“She’s my best friend we grew up together, i’m worried she won’t like what i’m doing here.” Charlie finally confessed with a sigh, her body deflating as she herself came to terms with the fact she was afraid. Vaggie lingering in the background finally approached Charlie sticking her hand out to message her arm comfortingly. “I’m sure it’ll be fine toots! Plus she’s a born sinner! Ain’t no way anything here’s gonna be shocking her.”
Despite her worry she could admit Angel Dust was right, AND you’re her best friend there’s no way you’d be unnecessarily cruel to her dreams, you were always supportive and imaginative along with her. Smiling down at Angel, Charlie then plopped down beside him, resting her hooves after hours of hecticily running around. “You’re right Angel, thank you.” Angel hummed out an arrogant ‘you’re welcome’ while Vaggie circled the couch leaning over the back of it.
“So how long has it been since you’ve seen them?” Vaggie asked poking Charlie’s cheek. Looking away she counted on her fingers before turning to look at Vaggie. “Four years, they stayed with me while I tried getting over the absence of my mom; they live in wrath though and eventually went back.” Clapping her hands Charlie stood from the couch her brief moment of hoof rest over, the three sinners watching as she muttered to herself about everyone being on their best behaviour while walking off, clearly the talk only did a little to hush her nerves.
~
Standing outside the hotel doors your ears twitched at the sounds coming from beyond it, it’s clear as day that Charlie was instructing people to behave, be nice, and- not show you porn? Suddenly the door opened startling you slightly but that quickly wore off when you were greeted by the joyous face of your best friend Charlie. Tugging you into a bear hug, Charlie squealed about how excited she was, you naturally fell into her giving her a warm tight hug right back.
“I am so glad you’re here! I’m so happy to see you!” Charlie exclaimed pulling back and examining you. You hadnt seemed to change much to Charlie, the white tail you had wagged behind you happily, your equally platinum ears relaxed occasionally twitching at the sounds around you, your pink deer like nose that was perfectly contrasted with your skin colour.
It was clear you were half an angel, and Charlie lemented, when you two were younger, that she was jealous you had a more animalisitc appearance in comparison to her, but you reminded her that it didn’t matter because she was still as gorgeous as ever. “I’m so glad to be here! I was starting to think you’d never end up inviting me.” You laugh warmly.
Charlie beckoned you inside linking your arms together, the two of you walked inside. Vaggie was punctuated and ready to great you as you came further into the room. “Hi, I’m Vaggie-“ Vaggie was cut off promptly by Charlie who excitedly pulled her into a bear hug, cheek to cheek. “My girlfriend!” Charlie finished with a shout.
Your ivory tail flicked behind you happily as you grinned. “Holy shit! You’ve got a girlfriend? Damn we really need to catch up! Its so nice to meet you Vaggie.” You smile shaking her hand as she stuck it out, Vaggie only nodded smiling seemingly quite reserved.
After some rushed introduction of those around the room including Husk, Angel, Nifty, and Sir Pentious, Charlie took you to your room to settle in. Closing the door behind the two of you Charlie watched as you laid your suit cases down by the bed, unzipping them and pulling out your clothing. “Sooo,” Charlie trailed hands tucked behind her back as she wandered around the vacant room.
“You remember Alastor right? The radio demon?” Charlie questioned, sounding suspicious. Looking up from your folded laundry you quirked a brow fearing where this might be heading. “Yes… i do.” You say slowly, fixing your posture waiting for her to turn to you, but she seemed rather interested in the wallpaper. “Well… y’know… this hotel takes a lot…. and when i first started…” Charlie trailed off gazing out the open window, stepping towards her you carefully placed a hand on her shoulder.
Looking at you she knew there was no sense in keeping such a prominent part of the reason this hotel was possible secret. “Alastors here, he helped since the start. He hasn’t asked for anything in return and he’s already fought for us!” Charlie spat the words out so fast you barely had time to comprehend. You and her were raised around each other meaning you had the same interactions with many of the princes’, sins, and hellborn, but human overlords were always were more…. well they weren’t used to power and immortality so they often over did it, Alastor was no different from what you were aware of.
“Are you sure having him is a good idea? Does your dad know?” Charlie nodded confirming her dad did know. “Yeah he doesn’t know who Al is, and to be fair none of us did! I promise he’s not that bad. Give him a chance?” You hummed looking away as she looked to you, you didn’t want to upset her by the discomfort that would be evident in your eyes. You didn’t enjoy brawls and fights, and you fear the demon would initiate that.
“Well i suppose i could trust him if you do, but i am skeptical; you’re always seeing the light in demons, even when it’s not there.” You laughed out recalling some things of the past that ended poorly because of a Charlie’s trust in certain sinners. And though at times foolish it was still an admirable trait and you aspired to be as kind hearted as she could be. “Where’s the guy anyways?” You asked after a short moment of pondering.
Charlie shrugged looking as if she was trying to recount the day. “Well he did say he had a meeting with Rosie,” She muttered quietly, although you didn’t know who Rosie was, you didn’t bother questioning it instead you pat Charlie on the shoulder, telling her that you’d like to get some rest, and you’d worry about Alastor later.
And so you spent a bit of time unpacking your things and settling down, you always preferred to be more in touch with the animalistic parts of yourself so your belongings held a lot of earthy aesthetics to them. Sitting on your bed, stripped of the hotels sheets and remade with your own, you opened your laptop and began typing.
You had forgotten about Alastor for the most part but you remember Charlie brining it up as he began his tyranny after his death. Charlie had always been pretty involved with her people, mainly focusing her energy on human sinner so you weren’t surprised that she knew of him, you were however surprised she was so willing to let him in when he massacred her people.
After a few minutes of light research about the demon, you established with how long he was gone perhaps he would be willing to change however you’d keep up your guards just to be sure.
~
Humming to himself Alastor got ready for the day, though he rarely slept he did occasionally get into evening outfits if he was staying in. He fixed his hair, ensuring not a hair was out of place and with a finally dust of his sleeves, he materialized his microphone and trotted his way out of his room.
A new scent hit him the minute he got to the staircase, the reaction was instantaneous, his ears perked, his tail stiffened thank the hellions no one was around to witness his discomfort, because it was evident. Fixing his posture, and his smile, he pretended nothing was up and continued his way downstairs. He greeted Husk as usual, and like usual Husk only grunted at the demon.
Making his way into the kitchen Alastor was stunted in place by the sight in front of him. There you stood deer tail wagging, singing along to music as you mixed a bowl of who knows what together. Alastor observed you quietly as ever, and definitely not checking you out because that would be rude- however your tail was very much distracting.
Clearing his throat the static spitting out behind his voice, you jumped slightly at the sound of him, looking over your shoulder to where he stood at the kitchen entry. The two of you simply stared at each other for a moment, the song in the background seemingly quieter than before, as if the two of you were in your own little zone.
Alastor couldn’t describe the gravitational pull he had toward you, he would’ve been a fool to deny your beauty, but he’d never had issue admitting when a demon or person was beautiful, it didn’t matter to him, so he couldn’t grasp why you seemed to have an immediate effect on him.
You too felt similarly gawking at the sight of him, i mean you’d never seen pictures of him, only art or depictions, which really didn’t do him any good. You were honestly a little embarrassed, you thought he was incredibly handsome, contrary to your beliefs prior to this moment, and you felt a little silly to suddenly feel like going back on your apprehension about him simply because of how attractive he was.
Deciding to finally break the intense yearning gaze the two of you held, Alastor perked up stepping close to you swinging his hand out to shake. “Alastor darling, pleasure to meet you, quite the pleasure.” Going unnoticed by you, Alastor’s voice involuntarily dropped lower, making it come out more sultry than he’d ever done during an introduction. Of course Alastor was aware it wasn’t his normal voice and wondered why the hell he decided to modify his tone to come out as seductive as it did; was it just by nature?
“I’m YN, Charlie’s best friend. I don’t know if you knew i was staying but i am, surprise! Heh,” You say a little nervously sticking out your hand but quickly retracting it, as it was covered in dough. “I’m making bread and breakfast, do you like french toast?” You finish finally gaining the courage to meet his gaze properly.
His eyes were lidded, and he looked down at you only with his eyes keeping his head forward, which made you feel some type of way. He had such a big presence, height aside, that would make anybody on the receiving end of his heated gaze, shrink. “I suppose i wouldn’t mind a little bite to eat, tell me little doe, how do you make such a meal?”
Of course Alastor knew what french toast was, but he’d much prefer to play stupid so he could listen to you speak, and have you look up at him so deliciously. “Well, i’m making some homemade no yeast bread, and then i’m gonna do the egg and frying, normally i mix some cinnamon and honey in, but i might not since i don’t know what you guys like. A lot of people put syrup, but i can’t stand it; too sticky.” You explained mixing all of your ingredients, turning to him you smiled.
“Would you mind greasing the pan for me, please?” Alastor nearly purred at you with how you requested his help he would’ve bent himself backwards if it meant you’d ask him like that again. The way these emotions hit him in the gut; the undeniable feeling of desire he was trying to fight against was incredibly intense and oddly, he liked it. “Of course my dear, whatever you wish, i shall see to.” With the snap of his fingers his hair had been pulled back, suit jacket gone, leaving him in only his white button up, and a pink apron.
Shamessly your eyes roamed his figure watching as he began to grease the pan with his hand. His eyes still lidded and smile relaxed. You enjoyed how he stood tall and relaxed, and it was only now when you caught a peek of his red tail that you realized; “You’re a deer?”
Alastor paused momentarily, eyes lazily difting toward you. He didn’t mind that you saw his tail, and he was a little surprised you lacked to notice he was a deer. “What did you think i was sweetheart?” Alastor exclaimed his entertainment persona peeking through as he did. You peeled your eyes away feeling a little bad for staring at him, instead you focused on placing the bread into the bow greased pan before responding. “Maybe a fox, but to be honest i didn’t think too much about it.”
Alastor hummed in agreement, watching as you placed the bread in to the oven. There weren’t many does Alastor has seen, many bucks but does were more of a rarity. The two of you made breakfast, bantering about things here and there and getting to know one another.
“What’s earth like?” You asked watching him prepare dough for beignets which he insisted you tried as it was a lousiana breakfast staple- but also because he wanted to have you to himself just a bit longer, and show off his cooking skills. “What do you mean dear?” Alastor questioned brows furrowed slightly, but his inquiry came soft with no judgement. “I’m not human, moms an angel, dad was one of the few hell borns that kinda just popped up, we don’t know where he went to though, anyways i’ve never seen the earth.”
Now that, was news to him. He suspected you were something special based off the tugging feeling he had toward you, but being a literal angel wasn’t something he would’ve bet on, but should’ve guessed on. Without a worry in his mind, Alastor happily told you about his home in new orleans, what it was like being a radio host, how in got into voodoo, how he new some cajun french, as well as his mother.
Leaning on the counter head rested on his hand, looking at you dreamily while the beignets fried. “My mother was an angel, she was my biggest supporter at the time, the reason i kept pushing. I have the upmost respect for mothers like mine.” You, as equally lost in the dream like bliss Alastors presence brought you, smiled at his story’s ogling at the man who spoke so highly of his mom. “That’s the sweetest Alastor, I wish i could’ve met the woman who made you into such a gentlemen.” You flirt subtly gently patting his arm.
Alastor hummed a lovesick smile on his face his tail wagging happily behind him as the two of you continued to yap. Tails syncing with the way they swayed unnoticed by you two as you lost yourselves in eachother, also going unnoticed was Charlie giddy as could be, in the background jumping up and down. Slipping away to Vaggie, Charlie gripped her like she was her life line. “YN and Alastor are totally going to get together! Ahh!” Charlie squealed shaking a limp Vaggie back and forth.
~
“Mhm Alastor please please please,” You chant wrapped tightly around the demons waist, as he pressed you up against your dresser. After a full day of being alongside Alastor the tension snapped between you two, although it took a few things to get there. First Angel hitting on you right after breakfast, it made Alastor seethe the symbols and static materializing as he watched Angel hit on you. It made Alastor realize such a sweet doe like you must be marked, can’t have other buck or demon filth thinking they can just put there hands on you.
The second thing that egged him on was when the two of you went for a stroll together, and while in a store witnessed a demon repeatedly harass you while you simply tried to pick out a dress! Alastor apologized for the blood shed, but he professed he needed to obliterate that demon to protect you and that would be the only time he would ever put you in a position to see such things. Which made your heart flutter, you felt the desire to have him protect you, it’s not like you couldn’t do it yourself but it made you weak in the knees to have a demon like Alastor jumped to protect you.
Thrusting into you needily, Alastor growled like a mad man his hand climbing up your body to grab your cheeks gently fixing your gaze up to him. “You’re mine,” Static laced his tone as he hissed out at you, pushing his body flush to yours. Moaning like a whiny porn star, you nodded in your head in a daze. “My mate,” He muttered again breathing deeply as he clenched his teeth.
Reaching your hands up to grab his antlers that sprout, you couldn’t help the way your body shook and the way you lewdly moaned. You felt so electrified and couldn’t contain the pleasure Alastor was making you feel. “Please Al, I love it so good,” You whined against his lips, his smile closed and strained as his lips brushed against yours, your breath tickling him as you whined.
Smashing your lips together Alastor picked up the pace feeling like a wild animal. He wanted you, forever, he wanted you to be his one and only, his only doe. Making himself hornier with the thought of having you all to himself his static crackled loudly as he thought up something mischievous. Pulling back from your heated kiss, you whined begging him to kiss you, touch you and fuck you, smiling at you in your disheveled state, a green huge suddenly engulfed the room.
The two of you lit up like neon as symbolize shined in the background. “Give yourself to me little doe, be my mate for entirety and the world is yours, anything you or your friends want i will give you. I can’t let such a thing like you go, i need you.” Alastor statically said, it sounded quite ominous but you were too horny to pick up on that, you could only pay attention to the need you had between your legs and in your heart. Alastor wanted you to be his forever, linked to you for eternity. Perhaps it was the fact that you were both deer that you two had this simultaneous connection, but regardless you couldn’t care you just wanted him back as much as he wanted you.
Thrusting yourself upward into him, you gripped his hand, while clenching down on him at the same time. “Yes, always i’m yours only; it’s a deal.” You moaned. Growling demonically Alastors green disputes like electricity, escaping this room and flowing through the hotel like wave. Feeling his heart bloom Alastors ears clipped back as he jackhammered into you, the dresser slamming against the wall while you squealed a little giggle bubbling out from how needy he became. That giddiness left as a violent hot mass washed over you, screaming out a moan you clutched Alastor, singing out his name through moans of appreciation as he coaxed you with praises through your orgasm.
It shook your body, and soon after Alastor came to a halt inside you, biting down hard on your neck. You moaned his name, not even feeling pain as he sunk his teeth into you down to the gum. After a few moments of licking up your blood he pulled away gazing into your fucked out eyes. As you were about to tell Alastor that you needed to figure out why you were both so suddenly connected, Charlie bolted in.
“YOU MADE A DEA- FUCK IM SORRY!” Within the span of two seconds Charlie had two separate panic attacks, one because she saw the green deal making light shoot through the hotel while you were alone with Al, and the second right after she closed to door from seeing the two of you intertwined at the hips.
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soaps-mohawk · 23 days ago
Text
Cherry Red, Crimson Blood
Chapter 40: Where Do We Go From Here?
Summary: Things aren't going as smoothly as anyone would like. Maybe they can fix it. Maybe they can't.
Pairing: Poly 141 x reader
Word Count: 5,970 words
Warnings: Angst, discussion of nightmares, PTSD, discussion of death and killing people, emotions, so many emotions, angst, a little sliver of comfort
A/N: And it is back!! not super proud of this one but I'm starting out on a filler so...yeah. Really just setting up for the next part where some action starts again. You'll see. Anyway, glad to be back at it and I hope you enjoy!
MASTERLIST | <- Previous | Next ->
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John stands at the door, gazing out at the yard. It’s pouring rain, dumping buckets on the roof. The water has pooled on the planks of the deck, splattering with every big drop that pours from the sky. The weather once again mirrors your mood, your sobs audible from your room over the pounding on the roof. 
John holds his mug in his hands, staring at the reflection in the window. Kyle and Johnny are sitting on the couch, both looking like kicked puppies. They’re itching to enter your room and go comfort you, but they’ve been kicked out for now. You’re not in the state of mind to be around any of them right now, no matter how badly your sobs tear at their heartstrings. 
You haven’t been in that state of mind for a few hours now. 
Whatever nightmare had plagued your mind last night, it was particularly awful. You’ve been up since the early hours, waking from a nightmare with a terrified scream that had continued until Kyle finally got you to stop and breathe. His ears are still ringing with it, his mind still pulsing with that fear. Something happened. Someone got in. Someone hurt you. 
Nothing happened. No one got in.  
The only threat was still just in your mind. 
Graves. 
He knows that’s at least part of your nightmares. Christine had disclosed that to him quietly on the side. Even she doesn’t know everything that plagues your dreams, but Graves seems to be a common specter in the darkness of your mind. 
It makes his blood boil, and not just out of anger for what Graves did to you. 
It boils with anger at himself too. 
It’s his fault you’re in this state in the first place. He should have known, he should have seen, he should have suspected. He should have never left you there. You should have been his priority over anything else. 
How badly he’s failed you. 
He lets out a sigh, turning away from the window to move over to the couches. He sinks down with a sigh, resting his elbows on his knees. The little progress you’ve made has regressed with this new string of nightmares, the fear pushing you further and further back into your mind. He’s resolved himself to only get worried when Christine is worried, and right now she’s beginning to look worried. If you regress back again, the chances of bringing you out of that are slim. Sure, there are plenty of options to help, but you have to want them to help. 
He knows exactly what will help, you just don’t want it. 
He runs a hand through his hair as your sobs begin to quiet. It’s longer than he’s let it get for a long time. They’re all a bit scraggly and ragged looking, worn down and lazy now that there’s no strict rules guiding their lives. None of them quite know what to do outside of the regulations they’ve spent the better parts of their lives living under. He’s been in the military longer now than he hasn’t, and he’s been finding himself itching for that structure again. He can never bring himself to relax and put the job aside even on leave. He only takes it when he has to and usually spends it training and keeping his skills sharp. 
Now...now things have changed. 
They have no return now. There’s no clear, set time that they have to return to base. They can’t return to base. It would leave them too open to a possible retaliation from Shepherd. They were betrayed by one of their own already, who's to say someone else wouldn’t be just as eager to become a traitor for a chunk of cash? They’re not even truly safe here. 
How are they going to go back to base after this? Can he bring himself to take you back there, a place you never felt comfortable in the first place? 
Where do they go from here? 
He’s been trying not to think too much about it. That’s a dilemma for a different day. That’s thinking too far ahead. Day by day is as far as he dares to take it now. 
The door closes quietly, John’s head lifting to watch Christine as she approaches the couch. There’s a slump to her shoulders, something that’s been getting lower and lower as the days have progressed. She’s struggling with this just as much as they all are. 
She sinks down on the couch, letting out a long breath. Your sobs have quieted, no sound coming from the room now. The silence is almost eerie after days of constant sounds, good and bad from your room. You were doing better. You were looking more alive and well. 
Then this happened. 
“She’s asleep.” Christine says, her voice strained. “Finally calmed down enough to nap.” She covers her eyes with a hand, sitting there still for a moment. 
“The nightmares?” John asks, glancing at Christine out of the corner of his eye. 
“Worse.” She says, her gaze far away. “She's remembering what happened.” 
John stares at Kyle and Johnny for a moment, the betas returning his worried gaze.
“Those shadows she killed...” Johnny says.
Christine nods. “She's, uh, not taking it well.” 
John runs a hand over his face. He knew it was possible you'd start to remember what happened during the time your omega took control. It wouldn't remain a dark spot forever, though he hoped it would. The things you were forced to do are coming to light now, the things you did to survive because they failed you. Taking the life of someone who deserves it is nothing to them. Taking the life of someone who would take yours just as quickly isn't so much as a second thought. 
You're not like them. 
You've never had to face that reality before, and you shouldn't have had to. 
“One of us should talk to her.” Kyle says.
“I don't think that's the best idea right now.” Christine shakes her head. “She's...regressed a bit. Pushing that on her, while well intentioned, might do more harm than good...” she trails off, her gaze still far away. 
The three of them sit there, waiting for what she’s going to say next. He’s not even sure Johnny or Kyle are breathing as they wait patiently for whatever solution Christine might be able to come up with, whatever move she thinks is the best one to take next. 
“I want to take her out.” Christine says. 
“What?” John asks in surprise. 
“She needs to get out of the house. It’s not doing any of us any good sitting in here all day.” She rubs her eyes. “She expressed interest in going for a walk a couple days ago. She needs to get up and moving, start regaining some of her strength.” 
John lets out a breath leaning back against the couch. He’s tempted to say no. His knee jerk reaction is to refuse. The world outside isn’t safe. If anyone is watching, if anyone sees them...
There’s always going to be that risk though, and Christine is right. Sitting in the house all day isn’t doing any of them any good. They’re at the mercy of the rain, but even then, he doubts it will keep any of them trapped inside for long. 
“When the rain clears up.” He finally says. “We'll discuss it more. But, I think that might be a good idea.” 
“What can we do?” Kyle asks, staring at Christine. 
She lets out a sigh, covering her eyes with her hand. “I don’t know. I’ve helped hundreds of omegas in crisis and yet I don’t know why this case is so hard.” 
“This has become more personal than those cases.” John says. 
Christine’s shoulders slump even more. “I know. I try so hard but she’s just so...different from other omegas.” 
“This entire situation is different from what you’ve done before.” Kyle says. 
“You’re right.” Christine sighs. “The best we can do is let her lead. Do what she needs, give her what she wants. The worst thing that can happen right now is regression. If she regresses too far, we might never get her back.” 
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“What is it? Tell me what ye need.” 
“Can you make me forget?” 
“I wish I could.” 
“Hit me hard enough on the head I might forget everything. Then we can all just start over.” 
“That’s not funny.” 
“It wasn’t supposed to be.” 
“Kitten,” Johnny sighs, leaning his elbows on his knees. “I wish I could make those thoughts go away. I wish I could make them mine.” 
“I killed people.” 
“I know.” He reaches out, touching your hand. “I wish ye didnae have to. Ye were just defending yerself. Those Shadows would have done worse to ye if ye hadn’t.” 
You curl up in your chair, turning away from him. “That’s not helpful.” 
“Sorry.” He says, letting out another sigh. “We just want to help ye.” 
You’re silent for a moment, sitting there listening to the waves. It’s cold this morning, not even the thick blanket draped over you offering much respite. It’s the first morning it hasn’t poured rain in days and you were determined to take full advantage of it despite the objections of your pack. 
“I know.” You finally say, staring out at the grey clouds looming on the horizon. The rain will return, just like the dark thoughts constantly swirling in your mind. They make you sick, nausea constantly churning in your stomach and threatening to rise. 
Johnny wraps his hand around yours, his palm warm against your cold skin. “Should head inside. Gonnae catch a cold.” 
“You know that’s a myth right?” You say, tilting your head to stare at him. 
“No it’s not.” He says, pulling your hand between his. “It’s not good for ye being out in the cold.” 
“I’ll live.” You say, trying to pull your hand from his, but he holds you firm. He’s stubborn, but so are you. 
“Kitten...” He says, almost whining at you. “Go inside please.” 
You let out a sigh, staring out at the horizon again. The clouds promise more rain soon, another downpour on its way. You hate it, how much it’s been raining. You just want to be outside, down at the beach, going on walks. Your pack won’t let you though, not while it’s raining, even though they often leave no matter the weather. 
It’s not fair. 
You’re not a fragile flower and you’re tired of being treated that way. Even though your brain feels like it’s in a blender constantly. Even though the pain of what happened still drives into you like a knife, you just want to be treated like a normal human being again. 
“Fine.” You sigh, pushing yourself up to stand. “I’ll go inside.” 
Johnny grabs your arm before you can head back in the door. “Ye know we just want the best for you.” 
You stare at him for a long moment, emotions swirling in your mind. They are trying. You’ll give them that credit. They’re trying, but not hard enough. “What you think is best and what’s actually best isn’t always the same.” 
He looks like a kicked puppy as he lets you go. You turn away before you can feel guilty, heading back inside the cottage. 
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You pull the blanket tighter around you as you stare at the flickering flames in the hearth. The heat is intense so close, but it’s warming the chill under your skin. It’s getting colder at night, foretelling the upcoming winter. All the blankets in the world couldn’t fight off the chill that’s settled in you at night. You know what might help, but you’re not brave enough to approach that solution. 
The footsteps on the stairs don’t startle you in the otherwise silent house, the creak of them audible over the crackle of the logs in the fire. 
“I’d add another one.” A voice says from behind you. 
“I’m going to.” You say, reaching for the stack next to the fireplace. 
“Careful. Put it on the side.” 
“I know how to make a fire, thank you.” You snap, shoving the log in before moving it into place with the poker. “I’m not useless.” 
“Didn’t mean to imply you were.” It’s silent for a moment as you settle back into place. “What are you doing out here?” 
“I’m cold.” You answer simply, not feeling up to giving an entire expose on your current state of mind to the person you want to speak to the least right now. 
“We can turn the heat up more.” John says. “Whatever you want to be more comfortable.” 
I want you to leave. You bite your lip, suddenly not brave enough to say it out loud. 
They are trying. 
“Why are you down here?” You ask instead. 
“Couldn’t sleep so I came to get a snack.” He says. “You want anything?” 
“No.” You say quickly, wrapping the blanket tighter around you. “I’m alright.” 
“You sure?” He presses, standing off to your right. 
You hesitate for a moment, curling your toes under the blanket as one of the logs snaps. It’s not food you need from him. Your appetite has decreased again with this new wave of horrible things plaguing your mind. “I want to know why,” You say, swallowing the lump in your throat. “why you left me there.” 
John shifts behind you, silent for a long moment. 
“I got too caught up in the big picture.” He finally says. “I thought that taking out Shepherd would end everything before it went too far. It’s the only way we’ll ever be safe, and I didn’t consider the lengths he’d go to, the lengths he’d let Graves go to, just to cover his own ass long enough for him to escape. I was wrong in making that decision. You’re not like us. You’ve never been left behind, tortured, had to fight your way out of an impossible situation. You shouldn’t have ever been put in that position. We all failed you. Every last one of us.” 
Tears burn your eyes as you stare into the fire. “You left me.” 
“I know.” He says, his voice thick with emotion. “It’s the worst mistake I’ve ever made.” 
“I can’t do this.” You whisper, your knuckles white where they’re gripping the edges of the blanket. The words are coming out and you can’t stop them. Maybe it’s because deep down you remember the better times, when he was a comfort. Someone you could trust to catch you when you fall. “I keep seeing them, seeing what I did, what happened. I killed people.” 
“People that would have killed you without a second thought.” He says. “You were defending yourself in a situation where that was unavoidable. It’s not your fault. None of it is.” 
“Can we ever move past this?” You ask, your voice quiet and broken.  
“I like to think we can.” John says. “It won’t be easy, but if that’s what you want, we sure as hell will work to make it happen. Things won’t go back to the way they were, and they shouldn’t. You deserve better than what we gave you.” 
You don’t respond because you can’t. His words float around in your mind, replaying over and over. You want to believe him. You desperately want to believe him, but a deep part of you can’t. He’s made promises before and then broke them. How can you trust this time will be different? 
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The creak of the stairs wakes you. It’s jarring, pulling you out of a sleep you didn’t know you were in. You’re on the couch in the living room, bundled under a blanket with a decorative pillow under your head. You don’t remember moving to the couch. The fire is nothing more than embers now, but it feels warmer in the house. It’s dawn, the grey light streaming in through the window, chasing away the shadows of night. 
“What are you doing out here?” A gruff voice asks you. 
You groan, rubbing your eyes. “Fell asleep.” 
“On the couch?” 
“Think I was on the floor first.” You yawn, pressing your face back into the pillow. “Don’t remember getting to the couch.” 
“Why?” 
“Got cold.” Your voice is slightly muffled as you pull the blanket up higher. 
Simon lets out a sigh before moving around the couch to the fireplace. He adds a couple logs in before lighting it again, the fire crackling back to life. You’re half asleep already as another blanket is draped over you, tucked up around your neck. There’s a feeling of a hand brushing over your head, but that may have just been your imagination as you drift off back to sleep. 
You don’t get to sleep long, more footsteps coming down the stairs waking you. A hand does brush over your head this time, the scent of the beach filling your nose. You let out a groan, trying to snuggle deeper into the blankets. 
“Sleeping out here this morning?” Kyle’s soft voice reaches your ears. 
You grunt, chasing the quickly fading edges of sleep in your brain. 
“Breakfast is ready, if you want to get up.” 
You are hungry. There’s a quiet rumble of your stomach as you begin to register the smells coming from the kitchen: bacon and eggs and coffee. Johnny is making the coffee most likely. Maybe you’ll have some this morning. You might need it with how groggy you feel. 
You stretch out on the couch, trying to breathe some life into your limbs. It’s not the most comfortable couch, definitely not for sleeping, but it’s better than the floor. It was likely John that moved you. He was the only one that knew you were out here last night. 
You're not sure how that makes you feel. 
It's nice on one hand, that he saved you from the pains of sleeping on the floor. But at the same time it feels like an intrusion. There was a time you wouldn't have thought twice about it. There was a time it would have been normal and expected and you would have thanked him for it. 
Now...now you're not sure. 
You push yourself up to sit, joints cracking from being stuck in one position for so long. You blink slowly as you sit there for a moment. It’s warm in the house, almost too warm now with your body warmed from sleep. Dr. Keller is sitting at the table, a steaming mug in front of her. Tea, most likely. Maybe coffee. You’re not quite sure. She gives you a soft smile as you rub a hand across your face. 
You feel groggy as you push yourself up to stand, letting your stomach and feet guide you towards the smells coming from the kitchen. Kyle guides you to the table with a promise of making you a plate and you take your usual seat at the end of the table facing the kitchen. Dr. Keller is to your left this time, coffee in her mug judging by the smell. 
“How did you sleep?” She asks, her hands wrapped around the mug. 
“Fine. Got cold.” You say, resting your head in your hand.
“John turned the heat up a bit. We can get you more blankets if you need them.” Dr. Keller says. 
You hum, letting your eyes close for a moment. You won’t complain about more blankets, more soft things to lay with. There is one thing you wish you had, though. You’re not quite sure how to ask for it, or that it would even be possible to get. 
You jump when a hand touches your back, not realizing you had even dozed off sitting there. 
“Sorry.” Kyle says, setting a plate on the table in front of you. “Food’s hot. You want coffee or tea.” 
“Coffee.” You say instantly, earning a wide grin from Johnny as he takes his own seat at the table. 
“Even split this morning.” He says cheekily, setting his own mug down. “Three against three.” 
“Tea is still the superior choice.” Kyle says from the kitchen. “Better for you anyway.” 
“Coffee has a lot of health benefits as well.” Dr. Keller says. “So long as you don’t add too much sugar into it.” 
“See.” Johnny says, giving them a victorious grin. 
“She said so long as you don’t put too much sugar in it.” Kyle says, carrying over your mug of coffee. “You’ll get diabetes from how much you add in.” 
“Two spoonfuls isnae too much.” He turns to look at Dr. Keller. “Is it?” 
Dr. Keller gives him a worried look. “You might be pushing it there.” 
Johnny’s grin turns into a pout. “What do ye mean?” 
A ghost of a smile tugs at your lips as you quickly shovel a forkful of eggs into your mouth. As much as the deep pain of betrayal still aches in your chest, as much as you still want to hate them, you have to admit you missed this. It’s the least tense you’ve seen all of them in the last few weeks. Even Dr. Keller’s shoulders don’t seem quite so squared as they have been. 
A part of you feels guilty about it. It is your fault deep down. You’re the one keeping them all on edge, driving that wedge between them over and over again. Deep down you’re the one causing the heavy weight that’s settled over the house. You wish you could just go back to normal, you wish you could just wave a wand and make yourself okay again. You wish you could ease their pain just a little bit. 
The eggs suddenly don’t taste quite so good anymore. 
You force them down regardless in favor of causing another scene, in favor of dragging the mood down. They deserve a little lighthearted moment after everything. They don’t need to know the inner turmoil plaguing your mind. 
Simon shifts next to you, his eyes darting to glance at your face. You can feel them, the intensity of his gaze just as sharp as it had been back in the beginning, back before he looked at you with fondness. He’s stiff as he sits there, almost as if he can sense the storm raging inside of you as you force yourself to pretend that you’re fine in favor of keeping the bright mood that’s settled over the table. 
Maybe he can sense it. He is an alpha after all. It’s his job to know, to understand. You glance across the table at John, his eyes on his phone as he sips his tea. 
Your gaze drops down to your plate as you pick up a piece of bacon, your heart shattering just a little bit more. 
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“‘S too early.” You whine as hands pull the blanket off of you. Cold air nips at your skin, making you curl up in a ball. 
“It’s noon. Come on.” A hand closes around your arm, gently shaking you. “You want to get up.” 
You let out a whine, pinching your face up. “No.” 
“Trust me. It’ll be worth it.” Kyle says, brushing the hair back from your face. 
“Why.” You say, letting out a huff. 
“We’re going on a little trip.” Kyle pulls you up, forcing you into a seated position. “Dress warm.” 
You’re alone in the room again, the door left open. Light streams in, making you squint against the harsh intrusion. A quick glance at the clock reveals it is, in fact, a little past noon. You took a nap to make up for a night of tumultuous sleep, one of the few things you have to do here in this prison. Nap and read. It’s a lot like your life before the cottage, before everything that happened, except now you’re stuck with your pack around you at all times. 
You almost miss the times they were away. 
You maneuver yourself so your legs dangle over the edge of the bed as you try to blink the drowsiness away. The nap hadn’t been nearly long enough, but judging by Kyle’s eagerness, they let you sleep a bit longer than they wanted. 
You let out a sigh before pushing yourself off the bed, moving to the dresser. You pull out warm clothes, quickly changing. You have no idea what they have planned, what’s going on. There was no frantic rush, Kyle’s energy more excited than anything. It makes you a bit worried as you step out of the room into the living area. 
They’re all waiting by the door, watching you as you approach them, rubbing your eyes. 
“Come on,” John says, setting a pair of shoes on the floor. “Boots on.” 
“What are we doing?” You ask, moving forward automatically. 
“We’re taking a little trip.” Kyle answers. 
You look at him cautiously as you step into the boots, pulling them on. You haven’t been away from the cottage since you arrived two weeks ago. You’ve barely been let outside, weather permitting. It’s an overcast day today, the world grey outside, but grey is better than rain. 
“Ready?” John asks as you stare at him. 
“I guess.” You say, still a bit hesitant. 
They make no effort to ease your discomfort and nerves. 
You’re led out the door and towards the cars by Dr. Keller. Her face is brighter than it has been lately which doesn’t help your nervous energy. She’s excited too, just like the rest of them. You’re not sure why you’re so nervous. Maybe it’s the anxiety of leaving after being trapped inside for so long. You just want to know where you’re going, what it is you’re going to be doing. 
Dr. Keller ushers you into the back seat of one of the cars, getting in the other side. Kyle and John climb into the front while Johnny and Simon get into the other car. 
You watch the green pass by as they drive, taking in the new landscape. You don’t remember arriving at the cottage. You don’t remember most of the trip at all. It’s all a blur in your memory, much like the events that transpired after your omega took over had been. You wish you could remember the trip over those events. You’d take green rolling hills over your own hands taking lives. 
It had been jarring waking in the cottage for the first time. A new place, a lack of memories getting there. You’re beginning to get tired of the pattern. You half expect to fall asleep and wake up somewhere new again most nights. You wouldn’t know any better. A slip of a pill into some food and you’d wake up somewhere halfway across the world. 
You like to think they’d at least warn you beforehand. 
John pulls the car into a parking lot, parking near a line of trees. Johnny pulls into the parking lot behind John, parking near the entrance. It’s on purpose, you know that much. Everything is about safety and making things look as inconspicuous as possible. Anyone could be a rat. Anyone could be watching. 
It’s windier here as you step out of the car, even though you haven't gone far from the cottage. Walking distance, if you were up for a hike. You’re not. 
“Come on, kitten.” Johnny says, guiding you through the parking lot and towards a path. 
You still don’t know what’s happening as you follow them, Johnny holding your hand as you step onto the rocky path. He leads the way, the others following. John is behind you, hovering in case you slip in the gravel. You do your best not to, despite how quickly Johnny is leading you. He’s more eager than Kyle had been, and you’re sure he’d be running if you could keep up. 
You begin to figure out what’s happening as the sound of waves crashing on the shore gets louder and louder. Your chest starts to constrict with emotion as the trees start to get sparser and sparser, a cliff edge visible over Johnny’s shoulder. You want to run now, you want to break ahead and race your way to the edge of the cliff. Johnny, even in his excited state, would catch you before you could take off and potentially hurt yourself. 
You might hurt yourself just trying to run. 
You hate it. 
The land opens before you as you reach the edge of the cliff. The expanse of the sea seems daunting so close, grey and choppy from the wind. Salty air blasts you in the face, rustling your jacket as you stand there above a small beach. It’s empty, but that’s expected for the middle of fall. All the tourists have gone home, those with vacation homes back in better weather for the winter. 
You’re glad you’re alone. You wouldn’t want anyone else ruining this moment. 
Kyle’s fingers wrap around yours as you stand there, staring down at the beach below. “Come on.” 
The gravel turns to dirt as it winds down the side of the cliff, getting steeper as you near the beach. You do nearly slip as you follow Johnny down to the sand, your boots quickly getting muddy. You’re glad for them, understanding why John chose boots over more comfortable shoes. 
You pause as your feet sink into sand. You stare out at the water, at the white crests of waves crashing onto the shore. It’s real. It’s not just some mirage, some painting in the background of your life. It’s really here. You’re really here. 
No one says anything as you take a few steps forward before squatting down. You scoop up a handful of sand, letting it slip through your fingers. It’s coarse against your cold skin, thicker and rockier than the sand you’re used to, but it’s still sand. It’s still a beach. 
You’re at the beach. 
You scoop up another handful of sand, letting it run through your fingers again. You want to put some of it in a jar and set it on the nightstand at the cottage. You want to stare at it and remind yourself you’re really at the coast, you’re really just a short drive away from the sea. You want the sand to sink into your skin and flow through your veins and fill every crack that’s formed in your mind.  
You’re really here. 
You stand up straight, staring out at the water again. Your pack is still behind you, silently watching you. You shuffle forward a couple steps, waiting for one of them to stop you, to grab you and keep you from getting closer, but none of them move. You widen your steps, treading through the soft sand until you reach the edge of the wetter sand where the water was earlier. It’s easier to walk on as you continue to approach the water, the sound of your pack treading through the soft sand disappearing behind you as you get closer and closer to the water. The waves flow up the beach, your feet getting closer and closer to where that water stops. 
You half expect them to stop you as you step forward, letting the waves hit your feet. The salty water washes away the mud and sand clinging to your rubber boots, rushing up over the tops of your feet. You stare down at the water, watching it surge upward and around your ankles. You’d keep walking if you were brave enough, let it get higher and higher until it soaked your clothes, but you know they’d stop you. It’s far too cold to risk getting wet. You can feel the chill of the water through your boots as it flows over your feet. 
You’re not sure how long you stand there, watching the water rush back and forth, feeling the pressure of it against your boots as you stand in the waves. You’re really here. You’re really standing in the sea. 
You finally turn after what seems like an eternity, making your way back up to the softer sand. All of them are standing in a line, watching you. You wonder what’s going through their heads, what they feel standing here. Relief? Happiness? Guilt? Shame? The wind whips at your back, coming right off the water, blowing their scents away from you. What you wouldn’t give to be able to smell them right now. 
Tears burn your eyes as you make your way up towards John, trudging through the sand. His cheeks and nose are pink from the cold wind, his beard longer than you’ve ever seen it. You don’t remember the last time you’ve really looked at him up close. His gaze is uncertain as he stares down at you, trying to gauge your next move. He can’t. You know he can’t and it makes you feel powerful. 
It shouldn’t, but it does. 
“Thank you.” You say finally, a tear sliding down your cheek. “Thank you.” 
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You can hear them. They don’t know it, but you can. They think they’re speaking quietly, but in the silence of the morning, you can hear almost every word. Dr. Keller’s protests, John's quiet insistence. 
Leaving. 
That’s the word that caught your attention. Leaving. Someone is leaving. Someone is separating themselves from the pack again, and not just for a trip to town to go to the store. This meaning is different, it hangs differently in the air. 
“I don’t think this is a good idea right now.” Dr. Keller says, her voice just barely audible through the open sliding glass door. It’s open just a crack, just enough to hear what’s transpiring inside. 
“We won’t have another chance.” John says, his voice insistent. “We have to do this. She deserves it.” 
She. You. Whatever it is, it involves you. It always does. You can’t remember a time over the last few weeks when it hasn’t been about you. It’s always about you and you hate it. You almost wish things would go back to the way they were before, when you were a second thought, the one left behind.
You’re going to be left behind again. 
“John-” 
“I know.” John’s voice is louder again. “We have to do what’s best for our pack, and right now this is it.” 
The sliding door opens, the conversation over. Your stomach is churning, nausea eating its way up your esophagus as John crosses the deck towards where you’re seated. His steps are slow and quiet, almost like he’s approaching a wild animal. He might be, depending on how this conversation is going to go. 
How are you going to react? You expected it eventually. They’ll always leave, they’ll always put you last and think about themselves first. Are you upset? Are you angry? Is it a relief? 
You wish you could feel something right now. Instead you feel numb. Another promise broken, another lie told. 
“You’re leaving again.” You say, staring out at the horizon as John takes a seat next to you. You need to get it out first, say what you know before he can say it and break your heart again. 
He lets out a quiet sigh, leaning back in the chair. “We are, but you’re coming with us.” 
You turn to glance at him, taken aback by his words. You’re leaving too? You hadn’t considered this. The cottage is your prison. You are Rapunzel trapped by the Mother Gothel that is your pack, stuck in the tower for the rest of time. 
Leaving? 
“There’s something we need to take care of back in the states.” John explains. “You’re coming with us.” 
Back in the states? What could possibly be there that is left for you, for your pack? 
You don’t like the sound of that. You don’t like the sound of that one bit. 
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cheer-nympho · 7 days ago
Text
Steve had been conned into chaperoning the kids to a ren faire.
Admittedly with very little resistance, but he was keeping that to himself. Once there and with their bags packed away into some apparently theme appropriate tents he had shrugged on some medieval casual clothes and…immediately lost track of all of them,
But a figure he did spot was a long haired Jester entertaining a small entourage with juggling,
Steve finds himself laughing slightly condescendingly at the jingling man. Why do people find juggling so impressive?
He picked it up straight away with some hackey sacks while bored between practices. He’s just good with his hands.
When he looks back up to get another glance in however, the jester isn’t perched on top of his little rock anymore and the crowd has merged with the other dweebs.
Steve stares at the empty space for a moment before a jingle right by his ear spooks him into turning around.
“Art thou not impressed by my amazing skills, your lordship?” The jester asks, swaying on his feet and causing the bells all over him to ping, grin wide and mocking.
And up close Steve notices one very important, very dangerous thing.
This court jester is really fucking hot.
He looks like an idiot, a nerd, a dweeb. Its hard not to in a pointy hat. But he also wore it too well, looked too perfect like that.
Steve notices the…is that..? Yes, the corset wrapping tightly around the mans waist, red and black diamonds decorating the sides and leading to small puffy shorts. His legs are covered in tight black leggings which should look ridiculous. It should.
An obnoxious cough and head tilt-jingle make Steve aware that he has been staring at the mans waist for way longer than was ‘bro code permitted’
He looks up with a wince, expecting a look of disgust ranging from mild embarrassment to punch-your-lights-out.
He was, instead, greeted by a smug and knowing smile. The red and black triangles painted over the mans eyes warped where the grin reached them. “Or maybe thou art impressed, but skills are not what draw thine eyes.”
Shit. Fuck. The stupid hot nerd is using stupid nerd speak on him. And Steves stupid nerd, apparently ‘very accurate’ pants are getting tighter. He needs to say something. Anything.
“You’ve got…bells.” Okay, maybe not anything. He used to be better at this shit.
He is rewarded with a wild, joyous laugh as the jester throws his head from side to side. “I do! Isn’t it amazing?The staff insisted on it so they could hear me coming.”
“It certainly makes an impression-“
“Eddie, names Eddie. And what does my lordship go by?”
“Steve is fine.”
“That he is…” The comment was punctuated by a less than subtle glance, almost a leer. “However, Fine Steve seems unimpressed with my merrymaking. As the official court jester, I cannot let that stand.” He stamps his foot, causing another cacophony of jingles.” “Therefore…”
“…Pick a card any card!” A pack of standard cards was presented to him with a flourish, but all he could do was roll his eyes.
“Come on, really? This shit is basic. All I have to do it watch your hands. You’ll swipe my card out and put it back in later, or mark it somehow.”
“Ooo his highness has it all figured out doesn’t he. Well then, princess, you have nothing to lose by picking a card, do you?” And that was…true. Plus he could maybe try to fix his previous fumble and try to claw a number out of this disaster.
So with another bitchy roll of his eyes, Steve plucks a card from the deck and hides it behind his palm. Two of Hearts.
Then out of nowhere… “You know, Stevie, if you think I’m pretty you can just tell me. I know the kingdom would approve not of a noble like yourself marrying a commoner like me, but they need know little of how we…” He begins to reshuffle the cards, motioning for Steve to place his chosen one back in before making some very obvious, very crude movements with his fingers. “…get to know each other in the meantime.”
He was going to die. In the middle of a nerd fest.
“Well, my lord…” Eddie continues, circling him while dragging a finger across his arms and shoulder blades before coming to a stop in front of him. A very bold hand takes Steves jaw and forces his head up, pretending to inspect something on his costume for any bystanders.
“If you would like some more…close up demonstrations…” He leans in tightly, still holding Steve’s jaw in a tight grip. “You can pay me a visit in staff cabin 23 tonight.” He strokes a piece of hair gently behind Steve’s ear before pulling out a card, as if from said ear.
Steve was glad that Eddie took the initiative to carefully pull his hand up and place the card into his palm, because currently Steve was too preoccupied with staring like a fish out of water into Eddies eyes. Everything about him was just so captivating, so alive.
Maybe that’s why he did little more than step forward aimlessly, with small grabby hands when Eddie pulled away. Before Steve could even process it, the bells and jingles had mingled back into the crowd. But that was…that was okay. Cause he could go to the…cabin?
But how was he supposed to- Oh. He looks down. On the card was a loosely clipped room key with a ‘23’ crudely engraved into the edge as if by a pocket knife.
The card itself, to his horror, was the Two of Hearts.
Shit.
He forgot to watch the fucking hands.
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chestersturniolo · 27 days ago
Text
TERRITORY
dealer!chris x fem!reader
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Summary; Chris’ reaction to another dealer on his turf has your panties soaked
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Warnings; oral f!receiving , fingering, biting, squirting, pet names, public ish but not really, mentions of drugs ofc, MDNI !!!!
˚ · .
You often accompanied Chris on his jobs. You didn’t mind it, in fact most of the time you enjoyed yourself. There was something about watching Chris handle people that had you crossing your legs constantly. But tonight, the exhaustion was taking over, a reminder of the long night before. You’d both been out late, frat-hopping as Chris dealt. It’s “Halloweekend” , so there had pretty much been non stop parties at every house. Meaning Chris had been raking in the money.
You tug on his shirt to get his attention “Chris,can we leave soon?” you ask with a pout, but already knowing his answer. His mouth twists up in that half-smile as he glances down at you. “Tired?” he asks, a hint of teasing in his voice, a knowing look in his eyes since he caught you yawning not long before. You nod, leaning against him.
As expected ,he shakes his head , “You know this is one of my busiest weekends of the year-I gotta stick it out” he says, pressing a kiss to your forehead “Now stop that whinin’ baby, I got work to do”
As if on que, two guys stroll up, stealing Chris’ attention away as he digs through his pocket for the customers fix.
You sigh, knowing there’s no way you’re going to sway him tonight. Resigned, you make your way to an open spot on a couch a few feet away, letting yourself sink back as you take a long sip from the solo cup, trying to keep yourself entertained by people watching around the room.
As you zone out, someone steps into your line of sight. Glancing up, you find a guy you’ve never seen before standing in front of you, his expression a little too smug for your liking. He leans down, an easy grin on his face as he speaks over the music. “Need a little pick me up darlin’?”
You furrow your brow, momentarily caught off guard, and before you can even respond, he plops down on the couch right beside you. His gaze turning to you, “Or how’s a free sample sound?” he adds, opening his palm to reveal a couple of loose purple pills. leaning in, his voice low as he offers it.
You glance at Chris just in time to see him notice what’s going on. You watch as his expression darkens, practically shooing the customers stood infront of him away, as he strides over to you quickly, jaw tight. He doesn’t even glance at you, his stare focused solely on the guy beside you, who hastily closed his hand, to try and shove his stash back into his pocket
But it was too late, Chris had already seen what was going on. Amused, you sit back, knowing exactly how this was going to play out.
“N’who the fuck are you?” Chris snaps
The guy seems to skip over chris’ demeanour, clearly unable to read the room, a smile on his face “Uh,I’m Jack, just transferred here man”
Chris’s eyes narrow, his head tilting slightly as if sizing him up “Hm-“ he hums as he steps closer, now standing directly infront of where the guys sat, “You dealin’ Jack?” he questions, almost too calmly. But you could see straight through it, you knew that tone.
He scans his surroundings before answering Chris in a more hushed tone ““Why, you lookin’ to buy?” he says, keeping his voice down, clearly thinking he’s keeping a real low profile.
You stifle a laugh, unable to keep it in. This idiot really thinks he’s scored himself a sell. To Chris no less. You found it fucking comical,
Chris lets out a low, dry chuckle, before leaning down , gripping two fists full of the ‘jacks’ shirt, and yanking him up from the couch in one swift movement. His mouth drops open in surprise, his eyes going wide as Chris pulled him to his feet
“Silly me-” Chris says, his voice dripping with sarcasm as his eyes pierce through the boy in his grip. “-I didn’t introduce myself” he says, his fingers curling tighter around the his shirt, almost lifting him off the ground.
“I’m Chris, campus supplier”
You watch in amusement as the cogs turn in the guys head, dumbfounded,slowly realising who’s stood infront of him. His mouth opens to talk but Chris gets there first ,
“Now, I’m gonna let this one slide because you’re new round here-” he starts, his voice sharp as he gives ‘jack’ a little shake “-but now you know… you know my name, my face, and you know this is my territory” Chris says through gritted teeth, releasing his shirt, sending him stumbling back a bit, struggling to keep his balance as Chris towers over him. “So, if I catch you tryna steal my clientele again, we’re gonna have some very big problems, are we understood?” Chris taunts, his tone firm and condescending all at once
The guys head bobs up and down in a frantic nod, clear fear in his eyes , “I-I’m sorry-I didn’t know, it won’t happen again” he stutters
“I know it won’t” Chris snarks in an icy tone “Now get the fuck outta here”
He doesn’t need to be told twice. He spins around, practically tripping over his own feet as he makes a beeline for the door without looking back.
As soon as he’s gone, Chris turns back to you, his eyes immediately softening as they land on you. You couldn’t help the smirk plastered on your face as you look up at him from your spot on the couch. Chris furrows his brows at you before smirking back, “what you grinnin’ at?” he says through a chuckle, before sitting down next to you, reaching to pull you onto his lap.
You settle your knees either side of him, “That was so hot” you mumble, running a hand along his shoulder, feeling some of the lingering tension still there from moments before.
He shakes his head lightly in disbelief, “Sicko” he chuckles as his hands trail up your back, pulling you close,pressing your tits flush against his chest as his head falls to your collarbone, peppering innocent kisses along it. Chris never cared much about PDA, if anything it turned him on knowing people got to see exactly what was his.
The mixture of watching Chris basically scare off a rival, and the feeling of his lips grazing your skin sent a shiver down your spine that headed straight between your legs. You let out a sigh of approval, craning your head to the side to give him more access. With a few more nips and sucks to your neck, you give Chris a gentle push back on his chest. You didn’t mind PDA that much either, but you could feel the dampness pooling in your underwear, and you didn’t know how much longer you could take before you crossed the line of just “PDA” and go straight to ripping his clothes off there and then.
Chris leans back on the couch, “You okay ma?” he asks with a smirk. He could see that familiar look on your face, the look he knew all too well, he felt when your breath hitched at the contact of his mouth.
You nod weakly in response “Mhmm, i’m just-“
“Horny?” Chris cuts you off
You feel your cheeks burn up even more from his blatant call out. “No” you lie, climbing off his lap and settling beside him.
“Uh, you sure about that?” Chris mumbles, motioning to his lap. Your eyes widen, following his gaze, finding a dark wet patch on his jeans. You internally scold yourself for choosing to wear a skirt - one less layer to seep through…
Chris clearly got flustered by the sight, because before you could even respond, he rose to his feet, offering a hand down to you, placing the other one on his crotch, covering the little mess you made, “C’mon”
You didn’t know where you were going, but you also didn’t care. You reach up to grab his hand, as soon as you’re on your feet he hastily pulls you through the packed house. You reach a hallway with a que full of people, tipping Chris off that the door ahead was in fact the bathroom, and just in time , a drunken girl stumbles out. He doesn’t even slow down, just pulls you right past the line without a second thought. You barely have time to catch the annoyed mutters and eye-rolls around you as he marches you forward, his hand firm in yours. You reach the bathroom door and he tugs you inside before anyone can protest. He kicks the door shut, locking it quickly before backing you against it.
He glances down at the wet spot briefly before leaning to whisper in your ear, “messy girl, what am i going to do with you hmm?” he coos, his lips finding their way down to your neck. Your eyes flutter shut as he litters ghostlike kisses that make your hairs stand on end, his hand coming down, tracing a line up your inner thigh with his fingertip, painfully slowly
“n-no teasing baby, i need you” you whine slightly, the feeling of his light touch making you fiend for more.
Chris lets out a low chuckle against your skin in response, continuing his baiting touches. You writhe beneath him, the pulse between your legs growing every second that passes with his mouth exploring your neck
“please” you beg
He finally answers your pleas, his hands snake around, giving a firm smack on your ass before scooping you up, your legs wrapping around his waist
“so polite” he teases before crashing his lips into yours,
Your tongues immediately start to explore eachothers mouths desperately, as he brings you over to the bathroom counter, placing you on top. Chris pulls away, standing between your legs as he pushes your skirt up, ripping your lace panties down and shoving them into his pocket, revealing your bare glistening core. He lets out a groan at the pretty sight before dropping to his knees , pinning your legs wide open with his large hands,wasting no time ,burying his tongue in your sopping folds.
Moans immediately start slipping from your lips at the feeling of his mouth exploring where you had needed it most, perfectly blending with the slurping sounds coming from below as he relentlessly lapped at your pussy
Whenever Chris’ head was between your legs, he never held back- the way you tasted and the pretty sounds that would pour from your mouth absolutely hypnotised him every time. He loses all self control, nose nudging at your clit, swirling his tongue and rolling his face in circles nuzzling into you as far as humanly possible. Quite literally burying his face as your wetness smothers him,
“O-oh-fuck chris” you moan breathlessly as your hips start jutting against him, your jaw hanging open in bliss as his tongue drew eights
He groans against you in response, before bringing his hand up and shoving two fingers inside of you, without any time to adjust before he starts curling them , perfectly brushing your g-spot as his mouth focuses on your bundle of nerves.
You let out a loud pornographic moan at the euphoric sensation of his fingers and mouth working in unison, feeling like you’re falling apart underneath his touch
Chris pulls away slightly to watch his fingers disappear into you over and over again, his face glistening “That’s it baby get loud for me, let em’ know where else is my territory” he smirks , before clamping his jaw down on your inner thigh, sinking his teeth into your delicate flesh, his fingers still pumping back and forth
You yelp in pleasure as he makes his mark, tangling your hands through his curls, tugging on them as you emit the noise he ordered, not caring who hears. Desperate,incoherent babbles falling from your mouth as your orgasm builds rapidly
Chris frees your thigh from his teeth, reuniting his tongue with your clit, whilst letting out a satisfied hum. The sight of the perfect bite mark imprinted to your skin was enough to send you into orbit, the overwhelming pressure in your lower stomach becoming too much to bare. Seconds later, you snapped, gushes of clear fluid spraying out of you,
“fuckkkk” Chris moans, as he opens his mouth, his tongue hanging out as your climax splashes all over him
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a/n; i need dealer!chris with my whole puss🥲 im still finding my feet with writing smuttiness, so im sorry if this wasn’t up to parr, im still learning loves! hope you enjoyed though,,
- 𝑺𝒂𝒈𝒆 ♡
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babyleostuff · 1 month ago
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― BROKEN CAMERAS
𝜗𝜚 THEME: fluff, domestic vibes, absolutely whipped kim mingyu 𝜗𝜚 PAIRING: dad!mingyu x mom!reader 𝜗𝜚 WORD COUNT: 1.2k
⦗💌 ⦘in which your little girl wants to take a picture of you and mingyu but drops the camera she stole from him in the process
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„i was thinking,” mingyu murmured into your hair and turned the volume of the tv down, „that we could go to the farmer’s market tomorrow. since i don’t have any schedules, y’know.” 
you peeled your eyes from the screen and looked up at your husband from where your head was resting on his chest and nodded immediately, as if you’d ever say no to a day out with him and your daughter. „sounds perfect,” you sighed happily and fixed the blanket that mingyu wrapped you in some time ago. „maybe we’ll manage to find some vintage frames to match those in the living room.” 
he hummed and brushed his nose against your cheek. „just… this time we have to avoid the section where they keep the plushies.” 
ah yes, the plushies. 
your little girl’s current hyperfixation and your husband’s cause of nightmares. not that you minded, there was something endearing in a 6 foot something man sitting in a circle of bears and unicorns drinking tea from a miniature teacup. 
you smirked and lifted your head. „but she’ll be devastated, honey,” you fake-pouted.
she wouldn’t though, not really. your little girl has had her dad wrapped around her little finger since day one and she was a very smart kid, so figuring out how to get her dad to do anything for her wasn’t that difficult. she’s had the puppy-eyes technique figured out for a long time now, which… she used a lot to her advantage. 
mingyu groaned and lowered his head, bumping it against your shoulder. „there’s literally no room left in her bedroom. last night, when i was kissing her goodnight, i tripped over at least three of them!” he whined.  
that was very much true. you spent fifteen minutes this morning trying to find one of her shoes amongst the mess of unicorns of all shapes and sizes, and all you found in the end was a sock that you had been looking for for the past month. it didn’t help that soonyoug bought her tiger plushies every other week, not to mention seungcheol who loved spending his money on your daughter for some reason. 
but you couldn't help but throw your head back and laugh at your husband wholeheartedly. „gyu, you’re capable of tripping over air, it doesn’t count in your case,” you giggled and ran your fingers through his messy hair, pushing back the few curly strands that fell over his eyes. “besides, she’ll find a way to get those plushies either way. it’s not like you’ll ever say no to her.”  
you could feel your husband’s pouty lips against your collarbone as he said, “you’re right. but it’s unfair that mr.unicorn gets all the cuddles now. even that ugly monkey that looks like it had been through a car crash and a bad lip injection is more loved than i am.” 
heavens, sometimes you wondered who the real baby in your family was. 
“gyu, listen to me,” you took his face in your hands and peeled him away from you, “stop overreacting-,”. 
“but what if she’s all grown up now and won’t-,”. 
“she’s three, kim mingyu. besides, she loves you, you dumbass,” you ran your thumb over his cheek, though that didn’t seem to convince him. “she’s a daddy’s girl, okay? trust me, i am the one who should be complaining about the lack of cuddles,” you said and smoothed the crease between his brows.
“if you say so,” he sighed, and nuzzled his cheek into your hand. “but-,”. 
suddenly, out of nowhere, you heard a loud bang behind you, like something fell and... glass broke? mingyu being mingyu, almost fell off the couch, but you were quick to turn around to inspect where the sound came from. 
and your heart almost broke when you saw what, or rather who, was standing behind the couch.
"oh, honey," you cooed.
your little girl was standing in the middle of the room, clad in her pink nightgown mingyu had bought her on one of his trips abroad, only instead of the bright smile that always graced her face, there were tears in her gorgeous, brown eyes.
"what the?" your husband murmured next to you. “is that my camera?” 
your daughter’s eyes widened in panic as she looked at him. “‘m sorry, daddy,” her voice wobbled in the most heartbreaking way possible. the little girl’s tiny hands were clutching onto the neck strap that was supposed to be connected to the camera. “didn’ mean,” she sniffled, “to break it,” she said and the first tears started rolling down her puffy cheeks. 
you quickly untangled your limbs from the blanket but before you could get up, mingyu put his hand on your thigh. “no, no, no,” he almost tripped from how fast he got up from the couch. “it wasn’t your fault, princess.” 
you thanked whatever grace that your daughter was smart enough not to move because the floor around her was litreed in small glass shards and you weren’t sure what you and mingyu would do if anything happened to her. 
not even a second later, he was at her side, picking up her small body and engulfing her in his big arms. 
“don’ be angry, daddy,” your baby cried into mingyu's shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck. 
mingyu shook his head and turned around to face you with a heartbreakingly sad expression. “i’m not angry, baby. i was just scared,” he murmured. “daddy thought you hurt yourself.” 
you waved for them to come over to where you were sitting and muttered a quiet “come here”.  
your husband placed your daughter on his lap, her head pressed against his chest, on the same spot where yours was just a minute ago. her tiny fists were pressed against his naked tummy as she continued to sniffle quietly. 
wiping every tear that escaped her eyes you started to hum one of the lullababies mingyu used to sing to her when she was a newborn, something you still did when she was upset. your husband was stroking her hair the whole time, rocking her back and forth, as you continued to hum quietly.
“why did you take my camera, sweetheart?” mingyu asked after a while, when her breathing calmed down a bit. 
“i woke up,” she said, looking up at him with her big brown eyes. “and i saw you n’ mommy sittin’ and i wan’ to take picture. like you always take of me n’ mommy.” 
mingyu’s own eyes welled up with tears and he quickly tucked her head back to his chest so she wouldn’t see him upset. 
“oh, baby,” you whispered quietly, though you weren’t sure who needed more comforting at that point. “that’s so sweet, but next time ask me or daddy for help, okay? you could’ve seriously injured yourself.” 
your baby girl nodded and she scrambled off mingyu’s lap to throw herself in your embrace instead. well, it was nice to know that the unicorns and your husband hadn’t replaced you completely yet.  
“what do you say we go and grab a camera together, hm?” he asked. “and we can do a whole photoshoot, we can even make a white background with the sheets.” 
“pink. pink sheets,” she said and clapped her hands. it seemed that you and mingyu breathed a sigh of relief that your daughter was back to her normal, bubbly self.  
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