#//this isnt getting cut bc its from an older blog

[nolaraised]

URL  :   heartbare​

SIRE-BOND OR NOT, HOPE MIKAELSON HAS ALWAYS HAD A WAY OF BRINGING HIM BACK TO EARTH. The overwhelming noise and bustle seems to fade in her presence, like they were never even there. His world narrowing down to breaths in sync, the sound of her heartbeat reverbating through his skull.

“No, it’s you. It’s ALWAYS been you.” Ever since he was a little boy, laying eyes on the amazing marvel that is, and always has been, Hope Mikaelson, Henry’s loved her in a way that surpasses all known language, all known thoughts. Just a deep understanding that he would do anything his Hope asked him to do, would lay his life down for hers without a second thought. (She didn’t need a sirebond to order him about, he would follow her into hell and beyond without complaint.)

“As your future husband, it’s my job to remind you that THIS WASN’T YOUR FAULT. It was my choice to turn, my choice not to speak up. You are not responsible for being manipulated, Hope.” Roman Sienna better hope he never sets foot on the same continent as Henry again or he’ll TEAR HIM APART.

He rises to bridge the gap between, arm curling to support her back as a hand reaches up, entangling in the soft locks of her hair. He leans into the touch, turning just enough to place a soft kiss on the inside of her wrist, grey eyes meeting blue. “ And i love you, Hope. I always have, and I always will.”

He mentions being her future husband and it reminds her that she could have taken her own children away.  If she STOPPED to think about it for more than three seconds there would be options running in her mind.  I gave him EVERYTHING that mattered to me.  His hands on her arm as she cried for her mama the days leading up to her death would HAUNT her still.

Her future is now in her control and Hope knows that she will marry this man and give him EVERYTHING that he wants.     Marry me.   Hope thought as his love and admiration washes over her in waves.  The soft kiss to her wrists,  his warmth and it is easy to get lulled into comfort.  She should be comforting him in the fact his life had gotten harder but she can’t.        ❝ I should have KNOWN that he was… ❞      a beat given as she swallows down emotion.        I could have had you a lot sooner.                                ❝ Did you even think about it before asking me? ❞ Hope swallows hard waiting the answer.        Did you THINK about what this meant?   Being a hybrid was a target on his back and hers.  It was a dangerous game and she doesn’t care because it meant she was his and he was hers.  Sometimes,  she hates this because he was not HIMSELF.

HE LOVES HER SO MUCH HIS HEART ACHES WITH IT. His beautiful girl with her blue eyes and kind heart, always worrying about everyone else but herself. (And hadn't that been exactly what Elijah Mikaelson preached? The salvation of her father's soul and the weight of the world on her shoulders.)

"You cant know everything, Hope. He was a damn good liar. It was never your responsibility to protect yourself from him. Dr saltzman should've done his research and NEVER let him in In the first place, let alone anywhere near you." Roman sienna used her and broke her trust in the worst way possible. Saw her as an abomination to be prevented instead of the little girl who healed butterflies just because she could. (Who saw a little boy grieving his mama and knew he needed a friend, even when she had every right not to give a damn.)

"I thought so, before. But.." no amount of mulling it over and considering all the consequences could've prevented him from the reality of what was coming for them, the storm brewing at home, needing only the smallest of nudges to break loose. Even if he had managed to stay in control amidst the overwhelming sounds and sensations, kept it together against the hunger and rage boiling beneath, his very existence was all they needed to point fingers, to justify their needless hatred and gather the vampires against a common enemy.

"I didn't think it would lead to this."

[turnstechgodhead]

i mentioned on stream tht i would make a shimeji-ee tutorial + how to revive old shimejis this way

so here

FIRST off red text is for things that im just showing you for clarity

it's not complicated, this is just long so i can get all the explaining out of my brain- feel free to ignore red text

anyway; go here and download this

got that? extracted it? great

it should look like this

[folder] conf [folder] img [folder] lib [text doc] licence [sic] [text doc] readme [jar file] shimeji-ee

what you're going to do depends on the kind of shimeji you downloaded

if its designed specifically for this version (ie: mine, which, hello to the future bc they arent out yet as of writing this)

then you SHOULD just have a file tht looks like this

[folder] a!dave

and on the inside looks like this

[folder] conf [14 pngs of post-scratch dave; though there will/should be more than this in the folder (i have blacked out some unused anims)]

if the folder called conf isn't inside this folder [a!dave], then read the next section about other shimeji

[xml] actions [xml] behaviors

the inside of the conf folder should look like this

what you're gonna do is get the character folder [a!dave]

and drag/move it into the IMG folder of shimeji-ee

[folder] conf [folder] img [folder] lib [text doc] licence [sic] [text doc] readme [jar file] shimeji-ee

it should look kind of like this inside the [img] folder

[folder] a!dave [folder] shimeji [folder] unused [png] icon

it should just work as is, but if it isn't, undo this back to the first step/the way things were when you downloaded it, and follow the steps below (if the shimeji you want isn't showing up and only the white oval guy is, just hang tight/scroll to the bottom.)

if the shimeji is old/different/for the browser version/whatever

now, for older shimeji/other shimeji, i'll use davechick as an example. the shimeji is 11-ish years old, and only is in japanese. this shimeji is from askdavechick (an old hs blog thas not active anymore)

so he is downloaded as a RAR file

this isn't a problem, go get 7zip if you dont already have a way of extracting .rar files.

right click on it duh

just do that [dropdown menu] [open] [7-zip] > [open archive] [open archive] [extract files...] [extract here] [extract to "rar-file name\"]

any of the extract options will do

extract

go into that new folder

[folder] Shimeji_davechick

this looks a little different

[folder] conf [folder] img [folder] lib [application] shimeji [jar file] shimeji [text doc] ライセンス

its fine. just ignore literally everything except for the first two folders, [conf] and [img]

inside the img folder it should look like this

[png] icon [35 pngs of davechick from askdavechick. though there will/should be more than this in the folder]

(the conf is missing, which is not what we want. if theres a conf in there, then cool. just install it like the previous section.)

go back here

[folder] conf [folder] img [folder] lib [application] shimeji [jar file] shimeji [text doc] ライセンス

youre gonna take the conf folder as is- no fucking with it or taking anything out, and drag it into the [img] folder right below it

now the img folder inside looks like this

[folder] conf [png] icon [16 pngs of davechick]

great, awesome. back out

now you have to rename the img folder

you can name it whatever i guess but its probably easier if you name it the character

[folder] img [RE-NAME] -> [folder] davesprite [folder] lib [app] shimeji [jar file] shimeji [text doc] ライセンス

when you have that, take the newly named [davesprite] folder, copy it or cut it or drag it

then you go back to shimeji-ee like the first section

and paste it into [img]

then it should work

if the shimeji you want isnt showing up and only the lil oval guy is

no problem, go down to your taskbar.

right click on [shimeji-ee]

cool dropdown menu- this is all pretty useful and i recommend checking out the settings and allowed behaviours if your computer sucks/ you dont want them to yeet your windows

but we want

[choose shimeji]

it'll open up this

select your guys

congrats they should be working

feel free to message me if you have questions about installing- i found these out through trial + error so i can trial and error porting over some browser shims i guess

[moriaddty]

Small note: this is very diffrent from other things i post, but i decided to just use this blog as an outlet for whatever is currently going through my mind, whatever i am currently hyperfixated on, as a way to get it out of my head for now, to maybe stop the hyperfixation.

It contains traces of my experience coming out as trans to friends and a certain part of the doubt/concern that those reacted with, just in case this is smth you are sensitive to, i was too when i started to come out to people.

Im currently thinking about discussions i had with a friend of mine about discrimination he experiences as a man and how he feels lost and like there arent any support things for him and other young men, but he hears of lots for women and LGBTQIA+.

And this friend isnt the only one that discussed that with me. Nearly all of my cis male friends talked about similar experiences around me coming out as a trans man still pre-everything.

The sentiment echoed by all of them was: "why would you want to be a man, it sucks, you just get ignored by society and all your struggles invalidated."

Some even voiced the concern of "If you want to be a man bc you hear how men have it easier then women all the time, its not worth it, our struggles are different but we struggle and dont even get support." (very weird and kinda backwards suspicion of my "motivation" to come out and wrong but nonetheless honest of what they think somehow?! I took it as genuine concern out of not knowing a lot about my side and experience. Those who in following talks made clear that they just voiced it bc they werent believing my experience and emotions, were against being trans and trans people in general, i cut out of my life.)

I explained to them that i dont "want to be a man" but i am a man, or at least feel extremly uncomfortable and hurt when being percieved as a woman, and feel more confident in myself and somehow relieved when being percieved and treated as a man.

I got (mostly, luckily) accepted for who i am, but the sentiment of "Our struggles that are closly connected to being men are being ignored and invalidated, we dont get any support for them like other people do for their struggles." I hear even more now, as i hear bros talking to me as their fellow bro.

And i just realized: arent young men also a minority in most countries?

They have to be because the youth in general is a minority? Here in Germany, the majority of people is around 60 according to statistics. People older then 80 are a minority, but so are people under 35.

How come we hear so little about supporting structures and organisations for young men? I know some exist in Germany (not that many catering to specific problems young men experience sadly), i looked into that before, but even the mere existence of those isnt in common knowledge of your everyday person.

Like, not even the knowledge of the specific organisations. But that something like it exists, not only isnt in the awareness of people, but even the possibility of smth like that existing seems to unfathomable for many, hence they don't even try searching for them.

Anyone has any thoughts on why it is like that?

(Also any pointers towards organisations that also have support for struggles of young men, especially in Europe and Germany, that any of you all maybe have made good personal experiences with (or even bad experiences ones as a small warning of those) are greatly appreciated, as are any other resources about this topic.)

[felgueirosa]

@just-odradek i’ve tried to look this up before, specifically spanish, asturian, and EU law, though when i was looking it up i was specifically looking for subsidies for vaqueiros who continued to practice ganadeiría and txeiteiría but i couldn’t really find anything. never thought of looking for local cattle, but that is an idea! (sorry i am putting this under a cut this got very long and off topic about a simple question)

i was specifically looking for this after i found an older article by gonzalo gayo about modern anti-vaqueiro sentiment and the lack of services for vaqueiros, erasure of vaqueiros and vaqueiro history, and exploitation of vaqueiros

he says some things about subsidies that are unclear which is why i tried to search some legal code after reading it but never really found anything. he says that subsidies don’t reach vaqueiros. he mentions that xaldos try to exploit vaqueiro culture to get subsidies from spanish government, asturian government, or from brussels, which implies that there is some subsidy in the first place for vaqueiros to get? the only thing i could find in spanish law is money going towards the vaqueiro museum in naraval (which is run by xaldos and incorrect on vaqueiro culture and history) and the association of vaqueros de alzada de torrestio (which is run by actual vaqueiros). there doesn’t even seem to be any money going towards gonzalo gayo’s organization doesn’t even seem to recieve extra money though it isnt an NGO.

tineo conceyu gov is the only government to actually make good in some promises to vaqueiros. they dont give subsidies and dont have the money or authority to do that, but they are the only conceyu government to participate in plan E, which all conceyus vaqueirus (basically some of the conceyus on territoriu vaqueiru get named vaqueiro conceyos in order to attract tourism to them for tourists to come look at “vaqueiro culture”, its no recognition of vaqueiro land and it leaves out a lot of vaqueiro land) are supposed to be participating in, legally, to improve infrastructure for vaqueiros.

to make things harder, the word vaqueiro is danced around a lot. we never used the name for ourselves until more recent years, vaqueiros never had a name for themselves, only a name for people who were not vaqueiros, but now we use it. but to avoid admitting guilt and also bc the term vaqueiro is kind of racialized in asturias, they’ll talk about “rural” issues in asturias. you can tell it’s about vaqueiros bc it’s never about eastern asturias and eastern asturias is just as rural as western asturias, but they don’t have our problems since there aren’t many vaqueiros there.

we still now are not recognized by spain or asturias or leon as an ethnic group. apparently old asturian census show as late as the 80s asturian census counted vaqueiros as an ethnic group. its hard to get things without recognition. also after preliminary dna studies show vaqueiros and xaldos likely have the same origin, now xaldos are on this “we are the same now so your culture is ours” and they treat it like an asturian subculture. they can measure our heads and do racial studies on us to prove our inferiority for years but when dna studies show we are of similar origin they decide that they don’t need to pay up since we’re all the same now. i was wondering what the bigger opinion of vaqueiros in vaqueiro territory today would be towards being a recognized ethnic group since that also make us more vulnerable, but i’m part of a facebook group of over about a thousand vaqueiros and when the irish travellers got recognized as an ethnic group in the UK, everyone was very excited for them and were saying that they hoped vaqueiros would be recognized next

i think overall vaqueiro lands should belong to the vaqueiro community as a whole and that the spanish government should give legal recognition to these lands. gonzalo gayo talked before about restoring brañas for vaqueiro use and i think that’d be great and something i’d love to help with. i’d love something akin to the reindeer herding act in sweden and norway and finland, that would allow land to be put aside for vaqueiros to participate in traditional cattleherding and dairy and would compensate and subsidise it, even more so for nomadic vaqueiros, and keep vaqueiros from having to compete.

asturian news keeps crying about how asturias is depopulating and rural asturian life is dying but no xaldos do anything about it. even in a recent article says that dairy companies are suffering a lot in asturias. they all act like there is no problem and no fix and wait around while vaqueiros die and vaqueiros are in poverty.

sorry this is very long i like to talk about vaqueiros a lot. if spain and asturias and leon are going to give us no attention and recognition and rights, then i think it is time to go to higher levels and bring more international attention to vaqueiros. that is why i like to blog about vaqueiros in english. i have disadvantages to not having grown up immersed in vaqueiro identity or on vaqueiro territory, but i think i have lots of advantages as a young, diasporic vaqueiro, especially since the vaqueiro population is declining rapidly and aging rapidly and doesn’t have so much access to media and internet.

i will reblog gonzalo gayo’s old article, it is from 2009 which i now realize is very old! 10 years ago! i feel like it is still 2013.

[moonlitlex]

I posted 15,431 times in 2021

39 posts created (0%)

15392 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 394.7 posts.

I added 944 tags in 2021

#words - 320 posts

#nct - 224 posts

#|| - 86 posts

#aes - 72 posts

#ref - 54 posts

#kpop - 43 posts

#5 nov - 42 posts

#me - 37 posts

#tumblr paywall - 34 posts

#dw - 32 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#also this makes the men say i love women who dont wear makeup and then the image is of someone wearing a full face of makeup just without an

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

no carol this body part is not USELESS please don’t cut it off to prove a point you learned on a superhero tv show from the 2000s

this is cheating you know me for real

3 notes • Posted 2021-08-27 17:13:55 GMT

#4

not to worry. the most important website is still up.

7 notes • Posted 2021-10-04 20:26:19 GMT

#3

but also also re the whole squid game subtitle translation thing yes you literally cant translate some things from korean into english because there are things within the language that dont have a good equivalent in english etc etc etc and i completely agree there but netflix isnt cable television its a streaming service literally what is stopping them from adding a section on their translated collections for “translators notes” where whoever they hired to do the translation can explain which things they cant translate accurately 

like for squid game they can maybe talk about how 무궁화 꽃이 피었습니다 (mugunghwa kkochi piosseumnida) was translated as red light green light for english but it actually translates into the hibiscus has bloomed and the way the game is played is you start slow and speed up so people can strategize and the hibiscus is actually the national flower of south korea (and i’m not 100% on this but i think it had a history with the resistance movement during japanese occupation)

and like. just in general they can have a section to explain that 형 (hyung - older brother of a man) and 언니 (eonni - older sister of a woman) etc are kinship terms used for family members or friends you are close with and show a close relationship and all that. or explain abt 반말 (casual speech) and 존댓말 (polite speech) at least for scenes in which its brought up by the characters themselves bc it does not make sense in english

i mean like yeah we all know its because netflix doesnt actually want to pay a translator enough to write out an EXTRA section on their website i bet they would pay their translators 0 dollars if they could. but like. this is something that would actually improve their service. people would have reason to use netflix outside of “they have that show i want to watch that hulu/amazon prime/other streaming service doesnt have”. and people are genuinely interested in what got lost in translation because thats why all those tiktoks and youtube videos about how the squid game translation was inaccurate were doing well. like, i’m sure loads of people would be interested in the fact that ali called sangwoo hyung bc of the meaning that word carries. it would show actual thought from the netflix execs on what they think will improve the experience of using their website. but no.

8 notes • Posted 2021-11-10 01:23:16 GMT

#2

should i start blogging in korean and alienate all my followers or should i go to sleep

9 notes • Posted 2021-10-19 04:14:58 GMT

#1

i am a mystery i am an all knowing god i am lost in the walmart stationary aisle

27 notes • Posted 2021-07-11 19:39:39 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[bsidebf]

Can you summarize the kin memories? I wanna hear em! I haven’t gotten any yet, and I wanna get an idea how they can be like.

idk if it will actually help but ill try!!

im puttin them under the cut bc it might get long haha

also since these are summaries, dont take their lengths as having more memories! some that are shorter may have near the same or more memories than others!

b-side boyfriend:

my name was ryan and gf's name was sophie. my hair was dyed but pico's wasnt, i was also childhood friends with him. sophie and i's relationship was not super healthy, instead of her dad sending people after me it was her (she wanted me to "prove my love" or some shit). i was legit simping so hard i didnt care about this or other red flags. the biggest of which was when after pico started trying to point out how sketchy she was she forbade me from speaking to him. other than that i think most characters roles were the same, aside from senpai ofc (check out the b side mod for the explanation of that).

whitty:

pretty much same as canon at least in origin. tgg lost track of me and i ended up rooming with some guys who i ended up forming an underground punk band with. we got a little to popular for my own good, and it got the attention of daddy dearest and he alerted tgg. i had an argument with my bandmates after gf came to warn me and i fled. i met hex quickly after that, and he was a lot different than canon hex (so much different that i cant really go into too much detail here lol), and carol some time after. both offered me lodge but i never stayed more than a week straight, anxiety keeping me moving.

when bf found me he cornered me into a rap battle as his usual. after the third song i exploded but bf and gf were able to get away. my explosion sizes actually varied so it just left a lot of damage in the alley. bf came and found me about two weeks later to apologize, which actually worried me since i felt like hed found me too easily. I guess he sensed my discomfort and tried to ease my worries, assuring me that he wasn't there to harm me or tell anyone my location. I guess GF told him what she knew about me after all (I don't think he knew when we'd met previously). He just wanted to apologize for pushing my limits and that I didn't even have to forgive him. I instantly did mentally, but lied and told him I'd think about it just to get him to leave. I felt bad about doing that, but I did need some time to reflect. I did tell him I forgave him later.

also i think bf's name was some variation of jay or jaydin.

senpai:

i have the fewest memories for him jsyk

i was the game character, spirit was not me. spirit fused to my code and gave me sentience and it freaked me out really bad. also daddy dearest's watch had something to do with spirit but idk what yet.

mean minus bf:

the other bf's were my brothers, we were all interested in different people. beta bf was with gf, i think blue may have had a crush on senpai, and i was head over heels for pico. i was way to stubborn to admit this for a long long time, but eventually we ended up together so it was nice. also everyone was on pretty good terms with each other, even us and gf's parents. pico was also some kind of were-lizard? idk lol

hex (timeline 1):

pretty similar to canon in origin. i had a big friend group that consisted of bf, pico, whitty, and garcello. bf dated gf for a bit but realized he wasnt really interested in women but they stayed close friends and he had crushes on all of us at one point or another lol. i mostly remember non-important feeling stuff from this canon like and attempt at making soup for bf when he got sick.

none of us were fully human i think lol; pico was a demon and garcello was some kind of shadow monster?? thing?? yeah

id share more from this but i dont really wanna put triggering stuff and prefer to keep it light for this post anyway.

hex (timeline 2):

hanahaki au. yeah, this is where the idea for the ask blog came from. again id like to keep it light here but uh. lets just say not everything from this is the same as the ask blog. i will say though that i was really close to static and displo and considered them like cousins.

updike (timeline 1):

beta storyline au. got the blue trench coat and was taller than whitty. we were just rivals, i worked as a weatherman. tgg actually did still exist but i never worked for them. they existed because a lot of people in that world had powers, they were more of a regulatory organization. a shady one though, if you were deemed dangerous or used your powers for bad theyd hunt you down and study how to suppress your powers or worse make you work for them. it was weird and kinda freaky.

updike (timeline 2):

this is the updike were used to. since i was only 4 years older than whitty, the guy hunting the bomb before me was actually my dad. when my mom died in an accident involving whitty my dad brought me to tgg to join the ranks. years later though i would come to understand whitty better and wanted to quit, but realized tgg isnt the kind of organization you can just leave whenever. that, and if i left someone new would just torment whitty. i had a lot of regrets about everything and i even became a bit dependent on alcohol (specifically wine) to cope.

static:

everything i know is pretty much the same except the end of the rap battle with bf was the scrapped "funk'd up" ending. i malfunctioned right as i was trying to leave and i didnt end up escaping the tv world. not gonna go into too much detail here bc its kinda just really sad.

[dissirnulo-blog]

Hello! I just stumbled on this blog by complete accident, and it's interesting to read your posts about akechi! I'm sorry if this actually comes of rude or ignorant or whatever, but i'm genuinely curious about life in orphanages in japan. Your akechi seems to be awfully not fond of it, and i guess the same with go with canon akechi actually. What are you thoughts?

OH MY GOSH? im really flattered that you found them interesting, and im more flattered that you actually want to hear my thoughts on such a delicate subject. youre not being rude or anything!!

i very well cant give proper opinions on a subject without laying down the facts first, though, and surprisingly, other than passing mentions and links to an article or two, no one really talked about just how awful the system is in japan, and in turn how it affected goro, so let me talk about the system while adding in my own commentary

WARNING: WERE GOING TO SPOILER TOWN HERE.

spoilers and very, very, very, VERY heavy text under the cut. im so sorry mobile users

these are all articles i have bookmarked lolol i suggest yall read them but tldrs aint that bad too

What’s it like to be raised in a Japanese orphanage?

many kids that wind up in orphanages were neglected by their parents or suffered some kind of abuse from their parents. its also not uncommon for parents to leave their kids there simply because theyre too overwhelmed by the job

but even then, some (read: a whole fucking lot) of these parents refuse to let their children be adopted bc of a social stigma involving it. they cant support/cant take care/dont give a fuck for their children but theyre too scared of the shame that comes from getting their kids adopted to let them live in a family that can care for and love them. think about that for a minute.

these kids are sometimes called throw away children by society. goro is a throw away child, you can say.

the kids tend to form a hierarchical society where the oldest or the biggest kid orders all the other kids around. refuse to listen to them, and you get beat up. abuse and bullying is rampant because of this

a child leaves their orphanage at around 15 to 18. once they leave, any kind of support from the government is cut off. gone. nada. youre on your goddamn own. 

japan is a country thats held together by connections. you get a job if you have a good network to back up your credibility. basically, without any kind of networks, youre already ruined before you even got outside of that goddamn orphanage you live in

to add: its not uncommon to hear about orphans released from orphanages becoming homeless or unemployed, and without a support network, more often than not they also suffer from mental illnesses such as depression. or theyre also manipulated into committing murder. you know.

im gonna throw my assumption out here that goro most likely was released from whatever orphanage he was in when he was 15. not too long after, he had awaken to his persona, and thats when he approached shido. probably. if that were the case, then it would align with when the mental shutdown cases started: two years before the main game. goro died at 17 years old.

with these facts, we can assume that HE WAS LITERALLY A HOMELESS KID WHEN HE WENT TO SHIDO, AND HE WAS BARELY LEGAL WHEN HE DIED, YOU FUCKING MONKEYS

“When I was growing up in orphanages I sensed the staff was fulfilling their responsibilities but I didn’t feel protected or loved. When I had to leave the orphanage I was all alone. I had no one to turn to.” — Sayuri Watai, 27, founder of a support organization run by and for ‘graduates’ of childhood welfare facilities.

Japan: Children in Institutions Denied Family Life

basically, the foster care system and the alternative care system (aka orphanages) in japan are a fucking trainwreck, but thats the whole point of this post, so its not that surprising.

orphanages are just really fucking bad, theres not enough space, bad facilities, abuses from both staff and fellow children, that kind of shit

its also mentioned here how those who leave the orphanages have no support to help them ease back into society and again brings up the importance of having connections in japan

adoption is rare. by 2011, only 303 kids (out of like, roughly, 30,000) were formally adopted out of the alternative care system. more on Why later

childrens’ best interests are often set aside in favour of letting the parents or family, who put them there in the first place, decide what happens to the kid, which basically means if the parents/family of the kid doesnt want the kid to get adopted, then no, the kid wont be adopted.

basically, the system favours the stupid adults’ opinions over the kids’ wellbeing. as quoted from one of the careworkers mentioned in the article, “In Japan, the interest of the parents is seen as more important than the interests of the child.”

“The Convention on the Rights of the Child states that for the full development of a child’s personality, they ‘should grow up in a family environment, in an atmosphere of happiness, love and understanding.’” 

hey so guess which persona 5 character never grew up in a family and ended up screwed up in the personality department and got so lost and confused with what he really wanted so he desperately clung to the flimsy fame he had and the idea of revenge and fake praises from a certain shido masayoshi? yeah i thought so

japan likes to cram all these kids into orphanages that, even though there are caretakers who do want to take very good care of these sad kids, there isnt enough staff to deal with them, and thats when what looks like neglect from the staffs part arises

the article lists testimonies from children and adults who are and were from these institutions. one of them, a one sentence testimony, stood out to me in particular: “I don’t have any dreams for the future.” it sounded so jaded and tired to me, and it makes me think of the last time we saw goro in the game. that really tired smile really hit it home for me. goro had goals, but what about dreams?

lets speak in hypotheticals: if goro managed to inflict his revenge on shido, and he won, what comes after? what will he do? he spoke in the ship about being heralded as the hero who took down shido, sure, but do yalls really think, after everything, he actually plans to get out of that goddamn mess alive? goro made it his life mission to ruin shido. nothing matters but that, not even himself. after all is said and done, it doesnt seem very plausible for goro to keep on wanting to live. theres nothing to live for, after that

Witness: Lack of Support in Japanese Orphanages

“Masashi cared about his appearance – he wore fashionable [ … ] clothes and had styled his hair – but a sense of isolation clung to him.” that sounds familiar but maybe thats just me

studies show that children younger than 3 who grow up in orphanages have the risk of delayed mental, emotional, and even physical development because of the lack of bonds with a proper adult or family. orphanages are also a really poor environment for older children, who most likely already experienced abuse in the hands of their families or severe trauma after losing their parents. either way, orphanages are just a really bad idea for children

the first two articles have mentioned this, and now this article mentions this again: kids who grow up in orphanages are often poorly equipped for the real world because of the lack of support after their release, and yeah yall know how they end up homeless and jobless bc of it

as continuation, sometimes, education for these kids are so poor that they get out of the system barely able to read or solve simple math problems. 

children get subsidies now (bc back then they didnt wtf). its around 55,000 yen, or 550 usd. they cant even get a drivers license with it, which also happens to be really good extra points for when applying for a job. another opportunity lost for them

Adoption in Japan Part 1: Why are there so many kids in orphanages?

this article focuses more on why adoption is so rare in japan and also reinstates some things that have been mentioned earlier, namely, childrens’ well being getting set aside in favour of what shitty parents have to say

majority of kids in orphanages have living parents who retain legal custody but are not raising them. because of this, they are not allowed to be adopted, even if the parents dont come back for them

for some reason, japan is really insistent on giving the parents full control on their kids life even though they already abandoned them. this idea is so strictly followed that even a baby found in trash cans or some shit are usually ruled by court as not allowed to be adopted in case the biological parents come looking for them. i know. its full of bullshit.

with that and the stigma of a family letting their kid adopted, it makes me think that maybe its why goro ended up stuck in orphanages and never lasted in foster homes. because despite being a good kid (which i actually think he was), he was never adopted bc his mothers family refused to let him be adopted. its really messed up

apparently, people think orphanages are “the right place for nobody’s children to be raised.” add in the “throwaway children” nickname from one of the earlier articles, i get where goros coming from with his whole “unwanted, cursed child” mentality, and why hes so desperate for anyones attention. spend your entire childhood having the idea that youre a throwaway child, that youre a nobody’s child, that your mother killed herself because youre unwanted planted in your vulnerable mind, and then taste praise for the first time despite it coming from the one person you want to ruin the most, no wonder goro was intoxicated by it.

while there are orphanages with staffs that try their best, sexual and physical abuse are still prevalent, mostly in private orphanages. though they are supposedly monitored by the government, those sent to inspect these private orphanages have little to no training for the job. most of the time, the inspector only comes for tea, then they fucking leave, and the abuses and badly maintained facilities continue to prevail

the article brings up again how children are badly prepared for the real world and are doomed to a life of hardship when they leave. it never stops

in japan, only middle school is compulsory, but most jobs require that you should be at least a high school graduate. only 10% (or lower) of kids from orphanages get to attend high school, because 1) getting into high school is like a super big deal and hard, maybe like getting into college, and normally, middle schoolers attend cram schools to prepare for their entrance tests, 2) these orphans cannot afford cram schools, 3) the government refuses to fund cram schools for these kids bc its also acknowledging that their public education fucking sucks and cant afford to get anyone into a high school

imagine goro burning his fucking eyebrows to be able to get into high school. although, truthfully, i wouldnt be surprised if shido had something to do with goro being able to get into high school, if we still go along with “goro approached shido at 15″ thing. but i stand with the whole “goro is actually smart and intelligent despite being a wack detective” thing bc lets be real, that shit he pulled in saes palace is fucking nuts. you cant deny the kids a genius in his own right

Adoption in Japan Part 2: Attitudes to Adoption

adult adoptions, the kind thats done by adults (duh) for convenience or inheritance etc etc, is a frequent thing in japan, but child adoption, the kind that we all are more familiar with, is apparently kind of a wack concept in japan. its entirely new to them. in fact they only legalised that shit in 1989

koseki likes to make everything complicated. its so fucking hard to describe, but its like a family tree of sorts, except when you (the mother) have a kid out of wedlock, youre not allowed to register your kid to your family tree for some fucking reason; you have to start your own family tree with just you and your kid. if you give up your kid for adoption and they got adopted, their name doesnt get removed from your family tree for some fucking reason, but the fact that they were adopted is noted in your family tree. and this starts the discrimination and stigma that comes from getting your kid adopted, and it makes parents who leave their child to orphanages unwilling to get their kids adopted. its also the source of stigma surrounding single mothers and children born out of wedlock. (hey guys guess whos both a kid born out of wedlock AND an orphan?????) NOTE: this is how i understand the concept of koseki so far, and i may not be 100% right bc that shit confuses the fuck out of me. idk. japan why

so yall know how obsessed goro is with being perfect—perfect grades, perfect public image, perfect everything? as it turns out, theres this stupid idea in japan thats widely accepted that “everything from your taste in food to the language you speak is biologically pre-determined” now that makes a shit ton of sense, considering the kind of person shido is. that fucking asshole. holy fuck.

Japan’s Forgotten Children

it says here that about 4,000 children were formally adopted out of the system, as opposed to an earlier article that says 303. i dont know which one is true.

this entire paragraph:

“Last month, a Chukyo Television director who was documenting this problem, asked a high government official why Japan had such a system, as opposed to promoting adoption and foster care like other developed nations. The man, whom I respect for his honesty, basically said that after the war there were many children without parents. At that time, many orphanages were built. So, that became Japan’s system to this day. Let me translate that for you…There are many jobs involved in this system. Plus, we don’t like change.”

orphanages run by the government receive funding based on how much kids they have, so more kids = more money, and that basically is also one of the reasons why no ones making an effort to get these kids out of the system. the kids are their means of getting free fucking money.

the government isnt trying to remedy this problem bc it doesnt want change, at least according to this guy named yamanta tokuji. hes an ex-child welfare worker who wants change, to put it simply.

he also says that living in orphanages for years damages a childs well being and behaviour. some who end up in family environments can develop reactive attachment disorder in which they regress to behaving like a baby.

the government wont tackle the issue “because it doesn’t want to know the truth and thus be forced to change.” yamantas opinion again

look, before anything else, i dont condone what goros done. shits fucked up, kids killed a whole lotta ppl, and he didnt fucking hesitate to pull the damn trigger on akira, but since this is fiction, context is important. if youre one of those people who simply dismissed goros character and went “eh. hes fucking evil with daddy issues” im just….. :(, bc you fucking missed the entire point of his character. its important to note hes the only teenage antagonist in a game where the adults are the Bad Guys™. i dont remember where i read this, but i (sorta) quote: hes a warning of what couldve happened to the phantom thieves, without morgana, without the support system that they had, without the positive influences that made them decide to do what they did. even yusuke acknowledges this, once they come back from shidos palace after Hell™ happened (i would have put a link to a photo, but where the fuck do i even find a pic of it).

i think that people seem to misunderstand goros character simply because of really fucking bad writing atlus COME THE FUCK ON they forget that theyre playing a game based on japan, where culture and society are very different from theirs, and in turn they dont understand the context behind goros backstory and how japans society views orphans and illegitimate children can really fuck with a kid, and okay, just because youre either of the two doesnt mean youll resort to murder, but 1) this is a modern fantasy game, where cats can become buses and fake gods can force a lonely kid who happens to be a wild card into the depths of hell, come on, 2) goro wasnt even the one who came up with the murders, it was shido. he fucking bragged about it in his boss fight you fucking monkeys!!!! i forgot to mention this, but shido also threatens goro if he ever so much expresses doubt

its also because of bad writing. its mostly because of bad writing. god. goro deserves better than this

goro was a vulnerable kid with powers, and that made him a perfect puppet for shido. imagine if he had known about changing hearts sooner, because no one ever told him about it. imagine if he was able to bring his wild card ability to its full potential, and dont even get me started with the fact that he was a wild card user. this post about wild cards and goro really makes you think, but that isnt the point of this post, so

anyway its 2 am im tired Good Night Have A Swell Night Sir

[jiminnieblues-blog]

get to know me tag(s)

yoo so recently i’d been tagged to do three get to know me tags, and i dont want to make three separate posts for each so im gonna combine all of them in this one post which is under a cut bc……….its really long LOL anyways i was tagged by @lovhobe, @elementaljimin, and @protectkimtaehyung thank you so much guys!!!!!!!!!!! <333 im glad i got to know yall better asdfgh

im tagging @jiminslipgloss​, @jxxminmols​, @kismet-soo​, @baeklipse​, @sonyeondn​, @neckatie​, @kihyunswife​ and @bulletproofbookworm​ you guys are welcome to do however many of these you want lol i just didnt wanna tag people separately for each tag

i was tagged by @lovhobe​ to do the 20 questions one tysm!!  instructions: answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers you would like to get to know better. (lol yall already know i aint tagging 20 people)

name - zara

nickname - um a few of my friends like to call me zar-zar and i get called zaro by my family a lot

zodiac sign - cancer

height - 5′ 3″

orientation - straight

ethnicity - pakistani

favorite fruit - pineapple i think

favorite season - fall

favorite book series - idk um i’ll be that person and say harry potter lol i cant rlly think of a good series rn but my fave book is the kite runner 

favorite flower - i dont rlly know a lot of flowers but i like roses and the vibrant colors that orchids can have

favorite scent - fresh laundry

favorite color - purple

favorite animal - zebras?

coffee, tea, or hot cocoa - hot cocoa

average hours of sleep - five

cat or dog person - i like both but i think i like cats a little more

favorite fictional character(s) - this is hard bc i used to be in a lot of fandoms asdfghjkl draco, red & gold, percy, bakugou, link and i have more from all the drama i watch but the list will be to long lmao !!!

number of blankets you sleep with - three

dream trip - idrk?? somewhere out of the country i guess i dont leave the us unless im going to pakistan lol

blog created - i had to check my archive lmao but i made this blog in oct of 2015

number of followers - :^)

NEXT i was tagged by @eternaljimin​ for the get to know me tag tysm !! there werent any instructions just.........answer the questions lol.

a - age - fourteen lmao.........................

b - biggest fear - tight spaces

c - current time - 10:35 pm

d - drink you had last - water

e - everyday starts with - getting out of bed??

f - favorite song - im saying this just bc it just came out but RUMOR BY KARD IS A BOP WATCH IT AND SUPPORT THESE LEGENDS  

g - ghosts are real? - idk my dude

h - hometown/country - us

i - in love with - jimin?

j - jealous of - i was just watching sbs kpop star and there are these two kids who are eleven yrs old and are so talented i wish i was talented you feel 

k - killed someone - why would someone even ask this akshf ofc not

l - last time you cried - i think i cried today lmfao

m - music you last listened to - RUMOR BY KARD

n - newest thing you bought for yourself - i think the last thing i spent my money on was cheez its from the vending machine @ school ajksf

o - one wish - i wish my life went smoothly and that i wasnt mentally ill?? lmao

p - person you last messaged - @jiminslipgloss​ :)

q - questions you get asked often - since i wear the hijab i get a lot of questions abt that i also get questions on my rbf like ‘why do you look so depressed all the time’ asfkjkj

r - recommended (movie? series? book?) - i just remembered that i read this book called this blinding absence of light and it was rlly good a little explicit but it was a damn good book i rlly wanna re read it 

s - song you last sang - i dont rmbr but it was probs a track from hamilton lol

t - thanks, last person you said thanks to - the waiter that gave me food @ a restaurant i went today 

u - underwear youre wearing - not sure what this is asking but im wearing a purple one rn???

v - vacation, your dream vacation - i dont rlly have one lol

w - worst habit - idk if this counts but i lose my temper a lot? is that a habit? if not i tend to space out/get distracted a lot esp in class

x - x rays youve had - my teeth, my ankle, a few of my fingers

y - your favorite food - rice !

z - zodiac sign - cancer

for the third one i was tagged by @protectkimtaehyung​ for the seventy questions tag tysm!!!!!!

do you have a good relationship with your parents? yeah

who did you last say i love you to? um listen im rlly not tryna be edgy but i seriously dont rmbr the last time i said ily irl

do you regret anything? i regret a lot of things lol

are you insecure? unfortunately

whats your relationship status? single

how do you want to die? asdfghjkl um a painless death i think

what did you last eat? rice

played any sports? i used to play tennis and swim but now i do kung fu

do you bite your nails? no

when was your last physical fight? i kind of have......to fight in kung fu so like when i last had class lol

do you like someone? no

have you ever stayed up forty-eight hours? yeah

do you hate anyone atm? i tend to hate a lot of ppl lmao?

do you miss someone? uhm i dont think so

have any pets? no :// i used to have parakeets but i gave them away and i just recently found out that they passed away :(((

how exactly are you feeling right now? i was kinda happy but since its sunday night im starting to feel shitty bc i dont want to go back to school tmrw afjh and im rlly tired

ever made out in the bathroom? no

are you scared of spiders? yeah lol

would you go back in time if you were given the chance? this is an interesting question bc it depends like if i were given just one chance then mayyyybe id go back and change smth i did that was stupid but if were given the chance to go whenever i want then probably not bc thats way too much pressure/commitment to have a power like that sdhfa 

where was the last place you snogged someone? i havent snogged anyone lmfao

what are your plans for this weekend? sleep

do you want to have kids? how many? i dont want to have kids bc childbirth doesnt seem appealing to me but idk i might change my mind when im older/more mature

do you have piercing? how many? one on both ears

what is/are/were your best subjects? the only classes i have solid as in are art, lit, and w4p lol math and science are def not my thing

do you miss anyone for your past? from my past, yes

what are you craving right now? sleep

have you ever broken someones heart? in first grade some kid liked me and i embarrassed him in front of his friends to get him to stop liking me so yeah i was wildin in first grade

have you ever been cheated on? no

have you ever made a significant other cry? no

whats irritating you right now? my tiredness? 

does somebody love you? oh geez i hope lmao

what is your favorite color? purple

do you have trust issues? yeah

who/what was your last dream about? um i dont think i remember v clearly

who was the last person you cried in front of? my mom

do you give second chances out easily? i dont think ive been in a situation where ive had to but i probably wouldnt 

is it easier to forgive or forget? wow um can i say neither lol

is this year the best year of your life? definitely not

how old were you when you had your first kiss? havent had one

have you ever walked out naked? no

favorite food? rice

do you believe everything happens for a reason? hmmm probably idk man i dont think too hard lol

what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? scrolling through this hell website

is cheating ever okay? no

are you mean? i probably dont come off as mean online but im not gonna lie i def get mean irl

how many people have you fist fought? i dont think ive been in a situation where i had to punch someone?

do you believe in true love? ive never experienced romantic love so i wouldnt be able to say but probably aajkf ive read/watched too much and analyzed too many relationships for me to say love is real but...........love isnt real yall

favorite weather? when the sun is covered by clouds and its a little chilly

do you like the snow? ive only encountered snow like twice so idk but i feel like i wouldnt like it very much lol

do you want to get married? idk man

is it cute when someone calls you baby? pet names arent rlly my thing lol 

what makes you happy? sleep...........im rlly tired rn 

would you change your name? no

would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? this is an interestingly phrased question lol. well i dont rmbr the last person i kissed so idk

your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? wow that would be rlly sad LMAO but id turn him down and tell him to get better standards wtf

do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? well they wouldnt be considered my friend if i couldnt act like myself around them so yes

who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? i just texted my friend so we can play video games aslfkh 

whos the last person you had a deep conversation with? literally the same dude from the last question lol

do you believe in soulmates? um no i dont think so?

id there anyone you would die for? my family/friends

thanks everyone again for tagging me !! <33

[bunnipuff]

Do you have any advice on drawing omnics? I've been seeing a ton of cool omnic OCs (including yours!) and I was wondering how you design them and such.

FIRST OF ALL THANK YOU SO MUCH!! im glad you like my designs enough to come to me for advice its super nice of you!!!

but as for ur question: be ready . long omnic design musing under the cut. im very passionate about character design lol

personally i think omnics as a whole are a ton of fun to design because of their simplicity: they have just enough guidelines so you have a solid base to build off of, but are malleable enough to be fun to play with. especially with all the canon omnic designs we have so far, even if you cant come up with a lot, its very easy to pick and choose from bits that are already available, and to make yourself a very original omnic from just those!!

case in point: look at all these wonderful, canon omnics

this isnt all of them i dont think, but its a good enough sampling to start to see some patterns in the designs as well as the variety in them. you can see a lot of them have a similar :3 sort of face, the forehead optics, the angular arms; a few of them have much sleeker and more organic lines, like the carekeeper for the children, or the two single-eyed ones, so thats a good starting point to see where your design can begin. a good way to make them very recognizable as an omnic is to keep those neck pistons, the prominent chin, and the optics.

now the way i make my ocs is that i get an idea for a concept first, and then design a body around it. (its absolutely not the only way to do things but ive found its easiest for me as it gives me sort of a starting point!) for instance rose is made to be a field model so shes like. bulkier, stronger, looks tougher and less humanoid, and looks like she was made for practicality rather than design. czar is an artist and a music producer and he’s meant to stand out, to be loud and flashy and fancy, so hes one of the newer and more unique looking models, and has vivid colors. salome is supposed to be big and intimidating so i kept her more angular, used colors with more negative connotations (black, gold, red) and tried to make her look fancy. i personally like designs that reflect how a character is in general

now for 93, the idea i had was an assassin omnic who disguises himself in crowds by being a very generic-looking kind of model - and if we look at the omnics above, the more angular, silvery, blue-opticed model comes up the most, so since i wanted him to look as “generic” as possible, i tried to stay within that design.

if u look at the crowd in the alive short, youd be hard pressed to pick him out of it quickly. which is what i wanted design wise!

now if you want something a little more visually interesting (and really, who wouldnt. common omnics are cute but they dont make for the best characters, usually), you can either take some canon elements and change them to your tastes. for instance: you can take that :3 face humanoid omnics have, and just change it a little bit to make it really yours. like this:

just by changing a few things on their faces you can immediately give an omnic personality. just how zenyatta looks nonthreatening and friendly because of his downturned eyes you can do the same to yours: angling them forward (like in the 2nd row) makes them seem happy and friendly, keeping them straight (like this: -_-) might make them seem a little less approachable, and giving them “open” lit up eyes can either make them look friendlier or more threatening, depending on the size, the shape, and the color. (see how rose, in row 1, looks more awake, more open, than salome in row 3, who looks tired bc of the eye shape?)

you can also play around with face plate shapes; compare zenyatta and mondatta’s if you want a good example. zenyatta has a smooth round face which makes him look younger; mondatta has sunken in eyes, prominent cheekbones, an angular chin. he looks older, more tired, more wise. all that from just adding a few more angles!

now for color its all up to you. a few design elements i feel are very interesting to play with in omnics are body lights, contrasting joint colors, colored jaws, and wire placement. but again its all up to you what you decide to do with those, and what you personally like to draw. going with what you think is pretty rarely turns out badly so just go nuts!

as for drawing them; i personally am absolute garbage at drawing non-organic things, lmfao. a good way to hide that fact is to use the bends and shapes already present in omnic designs and pushing those to the max; omnics are meant to look humanoid, so dont be afraid to use human bodies as reference and just exaggerating the shapes! make an omnic meant to look sleek and organic! add wires or synthetic muscle! give them inhuman feet, or claws, or extra limbs! fuck anatomy. youre here to have fun, not to figure out an actual working robot, right?

some good guidelines for omnic bodies are these:

(again, this is just the base stuff. you can easily expand on it and modify the basic shapes to get a more interesting silhouette or more interesting elements.)

other than that its pretty much all up to you! experiment with lines, strip them of their plates, add pistons, put holes in the silhouette, try to figure out how it all fits together; its all about experimentation and throwing stuff at them and seeing what sticks, lmao. ocs are there for fun!

a good way to get ideas too is to gather up some research material. i have some tags on my main blog that are just for that: robots, mechs, and technology. ive gleaned design elements from a lot of things that way (but make sure not to outright copy. make it your own, yknow?)

otherwise just have fun!!! and id be glad 2 help design if u need any assistance ocs are my shit i lov 2 talk about them ✌️