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generic-hufflepuff1 · 4 years ago

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My Tma favorites (per entity per season)

In honor of the finale of Tma, I'm looking back and going through the seasons and picking out my favorite episodes. I'm sorting them by entity and Im gonna write a little piece at the end of each fear as to why I picked that episode. It is relatively spoiler free but still keep your wits about you.

Also this is only up to Mag 197

The Stranger

Season 1: 1 Anglerfish tied with 34 Anatomy Class

Season 2: 77 The Kind Mother

Season 3: 83 Drawing a Blank, with 96 Return to Sender as a close second

Season 4: 128 heavy Goods

Season 5: 182 Well being, but 165 Revolutions is very very good

Overall: 1 Anglerfish

So all the of The Strangers’ episodes are really evocative and well written and I have to say that it was a very, very close call for almost every single season and I still cannot really decide if I truly like Mag 1 more than Mag 34 but I have to say that Mag 1 is so very good at drawing you into the world and works as a stand alone piece.

The Buried

Season 1: 2 Do Not Open

Season 2: 66 Held In Customs

Season 3: 97 We all Ignore the Pit

Season 4: 132 Entombed

Season 5: 184 Like Ants

Overall: 2 Do Not Open

I love Mag 2 as the protagonist straight up did not have any of this bullshit. And they even got a mike drop moment with the frozen key. Like in this house we stan Joshua Gillespie. His determination to not have to deal with that shit is so incredibly strong that it sticks with you.

The Web

Season 1: 16 Aracnopobia

Season 2: 69 Thought for the Day

Season 3: 81 A Guest for Mister Spider

Season 4: 136 The Puppeteer

Season 5: 172 Strung Out

Overall: 81 A Guest for Mister Spider

Honestly Mag 81 is absolutely brilliant and serves to contextualise so much of season 1 and 2 and ends up being incredibly important to the world as a whole. That plus the delivery and excellent premise gives it a slight edge over Mag 172 that is a pure exploration of the controlling and manipulative nature of addiction

The Vast

Season 1: 21 Freefall

Season 2: 75 A Long Way Down

Season 3: 91 The Coming Storm

Season 4: 124 Left Hanging

Season 5: 174 The Great Beast

Overall: 174 The Great Beast

So the first half of season 5 does an amazing job of truely fleshing out each fear and the Vast is no exception. The split between the two protagonists makes it clear that The Vast is not just about big things or empty space but deep existentialism and the fear of the inevitability of life.

The Spiral

Season 1: 26 A Distortion

Season 2: 74 Fatigue

Season 3: 85 Upon the Stair

Season 4: 126 Sculptors Tool

Season 5: 177 Wonderland, tied with 187 Checking Out

Overall: 187 Checking Out

This one was difficult as Mag 177 and Mag 187 as both of them lingered in my head for literal weeks after listening to them. In the end Mag 187 was so completely mind boggling in how it completely changed my perception of the Distortion. And is a masterclass in writing a character twist.

The End

Season 1: 29 Cheating Death

Season 2: 70 Book of the Dead

Season 3: 94 Dead Woman Walking

Season 4: 155 The Cost of Living

Season 5: 168 Roots

Overall: 168 Roots

I have quite literally experienced some version of what the victims are describing. But more than that the realisation of the implications of this domain for the world as it elevates the episode much higher than any of the Ends other appearances as eventually the other entities will fear the End just as the mortals do.

The Flesh

Season 1: 14 Piecemeal

Season 2: 58 Trail Rations

Season 3: 90 Body Builder

Season 4: 131 Flesh

Season 5: 171 The Gardener

Overall: 171 The Gardener

Everything about Mag 171 just speaks to me. From the visual it conjures, to the brilliant use of botany metaphor to describe various body image issues, to Jared’s simple but weighty request. This episode lives rent free in my brain at all times. This is the first time that I have zero contenders for my favorite of an entity.

The Corruption

Season 1: 32 Hive

Season 2: 68 The Tale of a Field Hospital

Season 3: 102 Nesting Instinct

Season 4: 153 Love Bombing

Season 5: 164 The Sick Village

Overall: 32 Hive

Although Mag 164 does have a very particular place in my heart and in the history of literature due to its topic and the precise time it came out, but it does pale compared to just how brilliant Mag 32 is. As the first real mention of the entities it reveals just little enough to keep the suspense whilst providing just enough answers that it's obvious in hindsight. But once more none of that matters in the face of “There is a wasps nest in my attic” the shere delivery of this episode has placed it in many people's favourite lists.

The Slaughter

Season 1: 7 The Piper

Season 2: 42 Grifter’s Bone

Season 3: 105 Total War

Season 4: 125 Civilian Casualties

Season 5: 163 In the Trenches

Overall: 42 Grifter’s Bone

Mag 42 is very interesting. I’ve mentioned in some of my other posts that Im pretty sure that Jonny Sims finds some fears harder to write and the Slaughter is definitely one of them but I’ve only come to this conclusion by looking at how frequently they show up but listening to the show you would never be able to tell and Mag 42 is one brilliant example of this it is a brilliant way to expand on how the Slaughter manifests.

The Desolation

Season 1: 37 Burnt Offering

Season 2: 67 Burning Desire

Season 3: 89 Twice as Bright

Season 4: 139 Chosen

Season 5: 169 Fire Escape

Overall: 67 Burning Desire

I find Mag 67 so intensely interesting as it leads into one of the major themes of Tma, that love can and will defeat and overpower even the most gripping fear. The simple love of a simple man sowed just enough doubt to destroy an avatar of destruction. Tma is filled with similar moments but personally this one is my favourite.

The Dark

Season 1: 25 Growing Dark

Season 2: 63 The End of the Tunnel

Season 3: 86 Tucked In

Season 4: 143 The Heart of Darkness

Season 5: 173 Night Night

Overall: 173 Night Night

I remember the reaction to Mag 173. It was so incredibly powerful to watch most of the fanbase (myself included) react in exactly the same way the characters did to the reality of this domain. First with dawning realisation, then anger followed sudden confusion at where to direct that anger. It was quite eye opening to say the least.

The Hunt

Season 1: 10 Vampire Killer, with notable mention to 31 First Hunt

Season 2: 56 Children of the Night

Season 3: 112 Thrill of the Chase

Season 4: 133 Dead Horse

Season 5: 176 Blood Ties

Overall: 112 Thrill of the Chase

I absolutely love Mag 112. It is such a brilliant idea, and as a result I end up valuing it a bit more than Mag 133 or 10 which are particularly telling for me as it proves that the Hunt is weirdly the fairest of the entities and absolutely condones fighting back and even killing its avatars or that it just cares about the circular nature of the hunt.

The Eye

Season 1: 23 Schwartzwald

Season 2: 53 Crusader

Season 3: 82 The Eyewitnesses

Season 4: 138 The Architecture of Fear

Season 5: 183 The Monument

Overall: 138 The Architecture of Fear

Oh Smirke. Poor naive and enlightened Smirke. I love Mag 138 more than the other Eye related episodes because it is due to this character that we even have a metric through which to observe the world of tma

The Lonely

Season 1: 33 Boatswain’s Call

Season 2: 48 lost in the Crowd

Season 3: 92 Nothing Besides Remains

Season 4: 159 The Last

Season 5: 170 Recollection

Overall: 170 Recollection

Covid lockdown hit me quite hard and I have not seen a single piece of media that captures the feeling of having hours and days drift into each other quite like Mag 170 so along with Mag 164 it has a very strange place in my heart.

The Extinction

So this one is a bit of a different situation so im gonna simply list my top five in order

175 Epoch

149 Concrete Jungle

65 Binary

157 Rotten Core

156 Reflection

Mag 175 is another example of a statement that my mind will drift to if I leave it alone for too long. From the vivid visuals to the subtext of the descriptions to the delivery of every line it is easily one of the best episodes of Tma in my personal opinion.

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dangerous-disposition · 5 years ago

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On Tragedy vs. Bad Endings

[Image ID: user @frostyfrogz replied to your post “my mag171 #thots: I fully agree with. I love jonmartin I want nothing but the best for them. I know my answer today was an obvious twisting of dialogue but its just frustrating sometimes because it seems like people dont understand some sort of tragedy will indeed happen. I have never and will never suggest that something will happen to Jon and Martin’s relationship I’ve just been saying the shows not going to end well no matter what.]

So I have a lot of thoughts about this very subject, and too much for the replies on my post, so allow me to try to articulate what I mean, and what a lot of us mean when we say “it does not make sense for either Jon or Martin to turn evil in the end,” even in a show that has been advertised from day one as a tragedy.

First of all, no one thinks this is going to end happy. The few who do are usually unaware that this show is billed as a tragedy, and are quick to be corrected. I didn’t know it was a tragedy until I was on season 3 and someone told me. It’s overall just best to assume that the OP knows it’s not going to be a happy ending, because “reminding” people or “explaining” to people that the ending is going to be sad is a fast way from people to get annoyed and defensive.

Anyway! It appears, above all, that people have either fundamentally different ideas of what a tragedy is or accomplishes, or that people have a fundamentally flawed understanding of tragedy and it’s place as a narrative device/theme.

My thoughts are that tragedies hurt, and tragedies can be devastating, but they have to have a message and they should not be cruel to the audience.

A cruel ending would involve leading the audience to believe one thing for the entire book, show, movie, podcast, what have you, just to rip it away at the last minute like a big “fuck you” to the audience. Those sorts of endings are inherently mocking of the audience, and ultimately disrespectful. The only people in the audience that “benefit” from this sort of writing are the cynics who spent the entire show talking down to everyone for seeing the silver lining in the impending tragedy, even if, up until the finale, the silver lining was always part of the narrative. Like it took actual twisting and outright ignoring of the narrative as it’s written to be cynical and sceptical all the way until the end.

That is, plain and simple, bad writing. Jonny Sims is not a bad writer.

Now tragedies often have “happy endings,” they just also have an element of sadness colouring that ending. A good, tragic ending should, in my opinion, feel bittersweet. We should see it coming, we should know it will hurt, but it should be for the greater good and should further the narrative that has been told from the beginning.

I said a few weeks ago that a tragic ending without a silver lining is just torture porn, and I stand by it.

Now, if Jon or Martin are revealed to be Actually Evil in the end, where is the silver lining in that? What narrative has even possibly hinted at this outcome, without putting on cynic glasses?

Every single plot point and plot “twist” in TMA has been clearly detailed, never relegated to pure subtext that you would have to comb through a single interraction and analyzing the tone in which it was said (which could easily be actor shortcomings or error). They have always been obvious, at least in hindsight. This is why, for a while, I subscribed to the Web!Martin theory, but due to recent episodes I’m more inclined to believe those “obvious things” were red herrings.

Throughout The Magnus Archives, the common theme in every. Single. Season finale is that “we are stronger together.” What do I mean by that? Well, here’s the general idea:

Season 1: The one time someone gets separated by the group for any significant length of time, like I mean the main group, she gets killed by the NotThem and replaced.

Season 2: Jon is alone, due to his intense paranoia and his reluctance to reach out for help. This leads to a disastrous series of events that leaves him a suspect of murder, and his friends even more doubtful of his character.

Season 3: In the episode just before they deal with the Unknowing, Jon literally says that isolation was his downfall, and he was going to work on trusting his friends more. When they got separated during the Unknowing, things went to shit. When they found each other again, they were able to rally and they “succeeded.” Conversely, they are also teamed up with Melanie and Martin who hung back to bring down Elias. They were successful, working as teams on separate objectives, etc.

Season 4: This is, by far, their most “successful” feats while simultaneously their least. The whole season was again showing the downfalls of isolation. In the season finale, Jon has Basira and Daisy’s help, and while bolstering himself with their strength, and the strength in his conviction to save Martin to be with Martin, Jon was successful in stopping Peter Lukas and saving Martin. Conversely, Martin and Jon’s isolation in Scotland could be, theoretically, implicated in how Jonah Magnus was able to succeed in the end like that.

Now evidence of this same train of thought in season 5? Jon literally says it: Gertrude would not have done well in this post-apocalyptic world, because she had no friendships, no anchors, no reason to stay human. And then Jon says “you are my reason” to Martin.

It is in the text of the story that the only way to succeed, or win, or survive, is through trust, friendship, and love. One of the main factors in so many of the statements, on why the statement givers succumbed to the fear in their story, for even a moment, had to do with very little personal ties to anyone else. Many of the statements feature isolation and, as Jon put it, “lack of corroboration.” On the flipside, many of the statements that ended with the statement giver escaping successfully, and surviving long enough to be reached out to for follow-up questions, involved them having close personal ties to someone else that kept them safe, somehow. Like the girl from Italy; remembering her mom saved her from the Lonely. Or, more ridiculously, the guy and his dog that escaped the spiral because he was so distracted by his dog and had to be home for dinner. In MAG170, it was Martin’s love for Jon, and his trust in the love from Jon and his friends, that saved him from the Lonely again. Jon’s incredible amount of love, and respect, and trust in his friends is what’s kept him from becoming another Jared Hopworth or Jude Perry. In MAG155, Cost of Living, he expresses open disgust in how that particular avatar of The End justified her actions, killing and killing and killing again because she viewed herself as more worthy of life than that person. In that same episode, he talks of not blinding himself because he hopes to use his powers to protect his friends, that without them they’re too vulnerable. Honestly, this is the same reason Peter Lukas is unsuccessful, because Martin only helped him at all to protect his friends. The fact that he didn’t see his failure coming was hilarious.

Gerry said in Family Business that there is no “entities of love”, and that might be true, but love and trust is literally what saves you from fear. How many of us deal with things that are scary in our lives, if only because we have some level of trust in the people or things around us. How many of us have been brought out of a panic attack by someone we love and trust?

So all of this has been presented to us, over and over and over again, which is what I, and others, mean when we say “it does not make sense for one of them to be evil.” That’s what we mean when we say “it would be Bad Writing to make one of them evil in the end.” The entire show has driven home the message that we need love, we need personal connections to survive fear. To rip that away from the main characters at the last minute and call it “tragedy” would be a spit in the face of every single listener who took the story at face value, without picking it apart and reading lines out of context. And Jonny Sims and Alex J. Newall have both said they hate lazy writing.

Now, none of the JonMartin fans I follow are deluding themselves to think this show will have a happy ending outside of very self-indulgent fix-it au fanfics.

The way I see this going down is that Jon and Martin will figure out how to put the world back to the way it was, but Jon will not be able to be part of the new world with Martin. That’s the tragedy; that the world gets saved, and Jon helps save it, but he doesn’t get to benefit from his efforts in any way. The tragedy is Jon loves Martin so much, and they deserve their happy ending, but they don’t get it. But, they still saved the world so others can have their happy endings.

Idk about you, but between the “Jon turns evil in the end” and “Jon stays good and sacrifices himself to save the world” endings, only one of them has me in tears right now as I type this out, and it’s not the former.

I’m not against sad endings,I’m against bad endings that punish the audience for having even a bittersweet hope. I’m against sad endings that are just sad for the sake of being sad, with zero pay-off or reason to happen, especially when those endings throw out 5 years of hard work.

And hey, I might just be forced to eat my words in the end, but not before I fly all the way to England and make Jonny Sims eat a knuckle sandwich.

This was a lot longer than I meant for it to be, but I just have a lot of feelings.

#jonmartin #the magnus archives #tma #tma spoilers #THE POWER OF LOVE AND TRUST WILL SAVE THE WORLD #also idk the proper format of like image id's but i didn't want to NOT type out the reply #my mag thots #500 notes

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unnyhunny · 4 years ago

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dino squad website (circa early 2008)

Hello, everyone! The Dino Squad website from early 2008 is accessible in the Wayback Machine, but as far as I’ve been looking, there isn’t a good post or guide to what’s actually in it.

Like everything in ‘08, this site uses Flash for pretty much everything it does (and PHP for everything else), which can make some things difficult, obviously. I can’t direct you in how to run Flash in 2021, but I wish you the best. The site I’m using is linked below, but there are several in the Wayback Machine that seem to work, although I haven’t noticed any differences yet. I have a few theories about this site, that I’ll get into when they’re relevant.

http://web.archive.org/web/20130210222200/http://www.dinosquad.com/

Feel free to explore! I’ll be leaving my notes down below.

When you enter the site, you’re greeted by this screen, alongside a stock alarm sound, and the Dino Squad theme.

This next part is hard to show, but I’ll do my best. This is actually a cube that you’re just in, and there are interactive elements in the room that, when you hover over them, they have special prompts that go to other areas of this flash site. Also, it is noticeably slow to scroll.

[the floor]

[the wall directly facing the logo, presumably the entrance]

[the wall on the right]

[the wall behind]

[the wall on the left]

[the ceiling]

On the left hand side, there is a Music Player, that goes through memorable tracks from the Dino Squad soundtrack, like “Dino Squad” (the main theme), “Transformation” (the transformation sequence song), and “BaBaBa!”, a song that I don’t remember ever being in the show, and sounds similar to the transformation theme, but acapella. Also, Rump is there, for some reason?

[the music player]

Now, this is where it gets really interesting. There was an ability to make accounts through the site, and gain “Ooze Power” through, presumably, doing well on the mini-games, some bones (?), and a badge system that, when clicked, doesn’t do anything.

[the user profile]

From left to right, the dino silhouettes are: Buzz, Caruso, Fiona, Max, Roger, and...Moynihan? Veloci? It’s impossible to know, but it’s presumably Veloci, because Moynihan wasn’t revealed to be a raptor until the final episode (or second to final episode? I’m a fake fan).

On trying to click on any of the games, a log-in option comes up -- you need to log in to play the minigames, which means that I can’t play any of them, because it’s impossible to make an account now (I tried).

[the log-in page]

When I try to register, there’s the outline of the Dino Squad logo, but no site content shows up besides that. This is a running theme, so I’ll only show the emptiness once. Also, it’s important to note that I think the tube at the top of the window is ooze, which is a delightful touch.

[the empty screen]

The interactive elements of the room are either mini-games or character/story info sheets, so I’ll go through them one by one, starting with the character/story info.

Character/Story Information

Right by the door, there is a green monitor that offers you the ability to “Get the 411 on the DinoSquad, their vehicles and weapons.” Unfortunately, they won’t be quite able to deliver.

[characters hover-over text]

Here is the character select screen. Did you know that it’s Rodger, not Roger? I didn’t. Unfortunately, of the characters listed here, only Caruso and Victor have their original info, which will be displayed first without comment below.

[character select screen]

[caruso’s info sheet. if someone else wants to transcribe this, be my guest, but there’s just too much text for me to do time-wise.]

[victor’s info sheet.]

On another green monitor, Dino Video would be available, where you could “Watch the latest DinoSquad shows and video clips online”. Unfortunately, it brings up a menu with two choices, and neither of them work.

[dino video hover prompt]

[menu options for dino video]

Next, we have the Dino Dictionary, with “Crazy facts about the Dinosaurs that roamed and ruled the earth for over 160 million years.” Unfortunately, these links are dead, too, but they’re shown as options in the archive file web, so they might be viewable.

[dino dictionary hover text]

[dino dictionary menu options]

Next are the character hovers. These would, on click, take you to their page. Only Victor’s and Caruso’s work.

[veloci hover text]

[max hover text]

[caruso hover text]

[fiona hover text]

[rodger hover text]

[buzz hover text]

Next, we have some tips for going green. This is the same reference center that the Dino Dictionary uses, so it likewise doesn’t work.

[Go Green! hover text]

Moynihan and Rump’s text comes next. I can’t imagine what the log entry for Rump would have been.

[moynihan hover text]

[rump hover text]

That was all of the informational parts of this website. Now, it’s time for some fun.

Mini-Games

Or it would be, if they worked.

For all of the following, it just prompts the login page on-click, so I can’t really do anything or show what it might have looked like, unfortunately.

The first game is Dino Dodge, where you “Test your skills at this crazy game! Catch the bones, badges, and ooze, but dont [sic] get hit by the Dino-skulls!”

[Dino Dodge hover text]

Next, My Squad. This is where you’d click to party up and stuff, I’m guessing, but it just brings me to the Login page, and I can’t do anything with it.

[my squad hover text]

[what the squad page could have looked like. under it, with the circles and icons, could have been a way to display your most awesome badges.]

Next, and possibly the saddest part of these, is RaptorQuest. “Your Squad will need all the ooze power possible to complete these 3D missions to save the world from evil primordial ooze.” I don’t know what this could have entailed, but it sounds like all of the ooze power from playing the games mattered here, and that there were 3D missions that could have had something of a storyline are gone? I’m in mourning.

[RaptorQuest hover text]

After RaptorQuest is Oozefest, a game where you “Load up on ooze and fire away at Victor Veloci and his side-kick to send them back to their primordial state in these three Dino-levels!” Presumably, oozing them is a bad thing in this game, although how well that holds up to canon is debateable.

[oozefest hover text]

My Badges is next.

[my badges hover text]

The final game is Hyperdino. My immediate guess is that this would play like the Manhole Game-and-Watch game?

[hyperdino hover-text]

[manhole game]

Some Interjections

1. This website was made very early on, and was probably only using the pilot characterization.

Most importantly to this being that Fiona’s penchant for speed is what is most notable about her here, when that was really only in the pilot/dino-cycle part, near the very start of the show. The logo isn’t necessarily a giveaway, but the Max/T-Rex picture at the top is one that I don’t see much except on early promo art.

2. Did they make new art for this website, with this room, or was this an early base idea?

3. Why was there an option to advertise, and where would the ads be shown?

4. Victor has many weapons and vehicles, but doesn’t have the wonderful Dino Dirigible yet?

5. This site (and its Flash) isn’t backed up besides the WayBack Machine.

It’s not in BlueMaxima’s Flashpoint, but I couldn’t extract the whole swf file from the html -- just the landing page, with Max and the alarm. If there’s a way to back this all up as one swf, that’d be spectacular, but from what I can tell, it’s using a mix of swf files and other files to deliver content.

Thank you for reading, and I hope exploring the site is/was fun! If you find anything I didn’t, please reblog and add!

#dino squad #early internet #digital preservation

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love-sapphirerose · 4 years ago

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Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon Episode 24

https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/review/yashahime-princess-half-demon/episode-24/.170860

Look, there was never even the slightest chance that Yashahime's 24th episode would end up functioning as a proper series finale. I knew that. You knew that. We all knew that. Over the last six months, Yashahime has rambled, meandered, bungled, and straight tumbled ass-over-elbows in its vain attempts at telling a coherent and engaging story, but never has it managed to establish so much plot and character motivation that anyone would mistakenly think that it would be a one-and-done. I was a fool for ever dreaming of a world where Yashahime might have the decency to end here and now. Still, you can't blame a guy for hoping right?

Except, we've also learned what happens to hope when Yashahime comes calling, haven't we?

In a certain sense, you'd think a part of me would be happy to find out that “Sesshomaru's Daughter” was never meant to function as a complete conclusion to this story, because that could only mean that this season finale has less responsibilities to juggle, in the long run. In spite of every attempt on Yashahime's part to sabotage itself, that last couple of episodes managed to lay the groundwork for something that at least kind of resembles a conflict for this final chapter of the season: Zero has been revived by Sesshomaru's Tenseiga, and now she's got some Rainbow Pearl-fueled demonic wrath to bring down on our heroines; Kirinmaru has also descended from the sky to do…something, which can only mean double trouble for the girls!

Haha, no. That would be far too reasonable a direction to take the story, so instead Yashahime decides to spit right in its audience's face with more of The Usual Yashahime Bullshit™, starting mere seconds after Sesshomaru revives Zero with the Tenseiga. For some reason, Sesshomaru reveals that he is no longer concerned about her mortal link with Rin, and vows to do…something to her that involves a thorough stabbing. The logical assumption is that he wants to kill her, but that makes a negative amount of sense given that she was literally just dead, so I'm just going to pretend that Yashahime is trying to trick us, and that Sesshomaru's plans are more complicated than that. Is there even a scrap of proof to that effect? Hell no, but we're only a couple of minutes into this thing, and our collective sanity can only withstand so much of this malarkey.

Meanwhile, in Spooky Tree World: Jaken notices that Rin is crying. Later on, he manages to hitch a ride with Totosai and his cow thing, claiming that he needs to fix Rin's sadness. How does he plan on doing this? What purpose does this mission serve? I sure as hell don't know, and it never comes up again. Next scene.

Before Zero has the chance to do a single thing with her twice-recovered Rainbow Pearls, Kirinmaru lashes out and magically poofs them out across the corners of the land. Yes, after spending an entire season building up the Rainbow Pearls as the ultimate artifacts of unlimited power or whatever, they served no purpose whatsoever before the script re-scattered them like the knockoff Shikon Jewels they've always been. The most reaction that anyone musters is when Moroha says, "Oh damn. There they go." Cool, show. Cool.

As for Zero? She disowns her brother and then magically yeets herself away by thwipping her spider-web onto the thin air. Then, Riku stabs Kirinmaru, which does absolutely nothing, before he flicks his little earring and poofs away too. Then , Sesshomaru goes after Zero and explains that Kirinmaru should fight his daughters as a “rite of courage and cowardice.” He then also just zips off into the sky. No, we never see Zero or Riku again. Their entire involvement in this scheme was – you guessed it – absolutely pointless!

Around this point in the episode is where you might be asking: “Wait a minute. Why does Kirinmaru tell the girls he would have let them run away if they asked? Why does he seem concerned over Sesshomaru abandoning his children? Why did he turn on his sister; does he still want to kill the girls because of that one prophecy about getting murdered by a half-demon? What does any of this have to do with the big evil comet that is going to strike the Earth in the future?” Oh, you sweet summer child. Yashahime doesn't give a shit about your questions! And no, before you even think about it again, the future comet and the Mr. Kirin subplot are not ever mentioned again, either.

With all of that out of the way, the only thing left is the big showdown between Kirinmaru and the three girls, all of whom decide to stay and fight the guy who has already handily kicked their asses without so much as breaking a sweat because…they think he's lying about being strong? And Setsuna doesn't want to back down from the rite of passage she only just learned about thirty seconds beforehand? Sure. Fine. Let's go with that. Who cares?

Now, I do want to say at least one nice thing about this episode. Even though most of the episode looks embarrassingly sloppy and rushed, the visuals really turn themselves around for this last fight, especially right at the beginning. Each of the three girls gets a delightfully-animated action cut to show off their moves, and kudos to the artists in charge of those sequences. If anything, the sequence might look a little too good, as it clashes mightily with the butt-ugly visuals that the show usually sports and serves as a bittersweet reminder of the series that Yashahime could have been.

There. That was technically a compliment, right? I hope so, because the pretty visuals can't save the back-half of "Sesshomaru's Daughter" from being almost awe-inspiring in its lameness. For one, fricking Moroha just gets whooshed out of the fight after landing maybe one or two hits. Again. Then, in order to deprive us of even the barest shred of dramatic tension, Kirinmaru loudly announces that he is going to threaten Setsuna's life in order to draw out Towa's latent power. Unsurprisingly, this leads to him murdering the hell out of Setsuna after she nicks his cheek with that Blood Blade of hers. Or rather, he slashes her from her heels to her head with his magic blade thingy, and then she falls down perfectly intact, and slowly slips away into her first “sleep” in years. Do you get it? Because Dream Butterfly.

One final almost-good thing happens when Moroha comes back with her Beniyasha face on, and she finally gets to help Towa land a major blow against Kirinmaru (it sure is a good thing that nobody ever pointlessly sacrificed their life to try and teach Moroha about the dangers of using her incredibly useful Beniyasha powers, right?). For her part, the raged-out Towa gets her own demony glow-up, and she ends up looking like a little silver-haired Super Saiyan 3 (Super Sesshy 3?). Two giant super-power blasts later, and…a slightly winded Kirinmaru admits his respect for Towa, and then flies away of his own volition. Then Sesshomaru comes back from wherever he was and offers his broken Tenseiga to Towa to help bring Setsuna back to life, finally winning that Father of the Year award he has been vying for all this time.

That's it. No, seriously, that's the end of the season. No mention of Kagome or Inuyasha whatsoever, no clues as to what any of the villains' true motivations are; we don't even get a proper explanation for whatever the hell an “Aruku's Pinwheel” is! Instead, Yashahime's first season ended as we all should have expected it would: As a slow-motion train wreck of gobsmackingly stupid writing, lame action, and a veritable mountain of wasted potential. So sure, maybe some of the series' gravest failings can get ironed out in another year or two. Lord knows that I would be ecstatic to learn that future iterations of this show ended up being halfway decent.

However, that would never change the fact that this first season was one of the most exhausting, frustrating, and disappointing anime that I've ever seen. So, with no small amount of relief, I bid adieu to our three half-demon princesses. I wish I could say that I'll miss you, but I most definitely will not. Except maybe for Moroha, who always has and always will deserve better than Yashahime. For the rest of the knuckleheads that have been leeching away at our time and our patience these last six months, there is only one rating they could ever deserve...

#anti hanyo no yashahime #anti yashahime #anti towa #anti moroha #anti sunrise

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pop-punklouis · 5 years ago

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hi hope! i saw that you’re really big into film and tv. do you have any tv shows you could rec? i need something new to watch.

hiya grey! and of course. i always have tv shows on hand to rec

• Dark (3 Seasons)

When two children go missing in a small German town, its sinful past is exposed along with the double lives and fractured relationships that exist among four families as they search for the kids. The mystery-drama series introduces an intricate puzzle filled with twists that includes a web of curious characters, all of whom have a connection to the town's troubled history -- whether they know it or not. The story includes supernatural elements that tie back to the same town in 1986.

• Portlandia (8 Seasons)

this absurdist series set in Portland, Ore., that gently pokes fun at the laid-back Pacific Northwest city and the many eccentric characters that call it home. Among the many recurring guest stars on the series are Ed Begley Jr., Jeff Goldblum, Natasha Lyonne, Kumail Nanjiani and Kyle MacLachlan, who plays Portlandia's mayor.

• Parfum (limited series)

When a woman is found murdered with scent glands excised from her body, a detective probes a group of friends who attended boarding school with her.

• Trinkets (2 Seasons)

A grieving teenager finds an unexpected connection with two classmates at her new high school when they all land in the same Shoplifters Anonymous group.

• Fleabag (2 Seasons)

A dry-witted woman, known only as Fleabag, has no filter as she navigates life and love in London while trying to cope with tragedy. The angry, grief-riddled woman tries to heal while rejecting anyone who tries to help her, but Fleabag continues to keep up her bravado through it all.

• I Know This Much is True (limited series)

Middle-aged Dominick Birdsey recounts his troubled relationship with Thomas, his paranoid schizophrenic twin brother, and his efforts to get him released from an asylum. (Mark Ruffalo’s best performance to date)

• The Vow (limited series)

Following the experiences of people deeply involved in the self-improvement group NXIVM, an organization under siege with charges including sex trafficking and racketeering conspiracy brought against its highest members and founder Keith Raniere

• The Outsider (limited series)

Based on Stephen King's best-selling novel of the same name, "The Outsider" begins by following an investigation which at first seems like it will be simple and straightforward but things change as it leads into the gruesome murder of a young boy by a seasoned cop. When an insidious supernatural force edges its way into the case, it leads the investigators to question everything they believe in.

• Peaky Blinders (5 Seasons)

Britain is a mixture of despair and hedonism in 1919 in the aftermath of the Great War. Returning soldiers, newly minted revolutions and criminal gangs are fighting for survival in a nation rocked by economic upheaval. One of the most powerful gangs of the time is the Peaky Blinders, run by returning war hero Thomas Shelby and his family. But Thomas has bigger ambitions than just running the streets. When a crate of guns goes missing, he recognizes an opportunity to advance in the world because crime may pay but legitimate business pays better. Trying to rid Britain of its crime is Inspector Chester Campbell, who arrives from Belfast to try to achieve that goal.

• Schitts Creek (6 Seasons)

a wealthy couple -- video store magnate Johnny and his soap opera star wife Moira -- suddenly find themselves completely broke. With only one remaining asset, a small town called Schitt's Creek, which the Roses bought years earlier as a joke, this once-wealthy couple must give up life as they know it. With their two spoiled children in tow and their pampered lives behind them, the Rose family is forced to face their newfound poverty head-on and come together as a family to survive.

• Mindhunter (2 Seasons)

Catching a criminal often requires the authorities to get inside the villain's mind to figure out how he thinks. That's the job of FBI agents Holden Ford and Bill Tench. They attempt to understand and catch serial killers by studying their damaged psyches. Along the way, the agents pioneer the development of modern serial-killer profiling.

• Mr. Robot (4 Seasons)

Young, anti-social computer programmer Elliot works as a cybersecurity engineer during the day, but at night he is a vigilante hacker. He is recruited by the mysterious leader of an underground group of hackers to join their organization. Elliot's task? Help bring down corporate America, including the company he is paid to protect, which presents him with a moral dilemma. Although he works for a corporation, his personal beliefs make it hard to resist the urge to take down the heads of multinational companies that he believes are running -- and ruining -- the world.

• Dark Tourist (1 Season)

Journalist David Farrier focuses on that area of travel, known as dark tourism, in this docuseries. In each episode, Farrier travels to a different locale to visit destinations and have experiences that wouldn't be on most vacationers' bucket lists. He embeds himself in a death-worshipping cult in Mexico, sees tourists soaking up radiation left behind in Fukushima, meets vampires in New Orleans, and travels to the most-nuked place on Earth for atomic swimming and fishing.

• Maniac (Limited Series)

Annie Landsberg and Owen Milgrim are two strangers who are drawn to the late stages of a mysterious pharmaceutical trial. Each has a different reason for participating in the experiment -- she is disaffected and aimless, fixated on broken relationships with her mother and sister, while he has struggled throughout his life with a disputed diagnosis of schizophrenia. The radical treatment, using pills that the inventor claims can repair anything about the mind, draws Annie, Owen and 10 other subjects into a three-day drug trial that they're told will permanently solve all of their problems, with no complications or side effects. Unfortunately, things don't go as planned.

• The Witcher (2 Seasons)

The witcher Geralt, a mutated monster hunter, struggles to find his place in a world where people often prove more wicked than beasts.

• Living with Yourself (Limited Series)

A man who's burned out on life and love undergoes a mysterious treatment, only to find that he's been replaced by a better version of himself.

• The Society (cancelled after one season unfortunately)

The Society follows a group of teenagers who are mysteriously transported to a facsimile of their wealthy New England town, left without any trace of their parents. As they struggle to figure out what has happened to them and how to get home, they must establish order and form alliances if they want to survive. The series is a modern take on Lord of the Flies.

• I Am Not Okay With This (1 Season)

I Am Not Okay With This is an irreverent origin story that follows a teenage girl who's navigating the trials and tribulations of high school, all while dealing with the complexities of her family, her budding sexuality, and mysterious superpowers just beginning to awaken deep within her.

• The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance (1 Season)

The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance returns to the world of Thra with an all new adventure. When three Gelfling discover the horrifying secret behind the Skeksis' power, they set out on an epic journey to ignite the fires of rebellion and save their world.

• Grace and Frankie (6 Seasons)

Two nemeses become bonded jilted wives after their husbands reveal they have been having an affair with each other since the 1990s and now plan to get married.

• Special (1 Season)

A young gay man with cerebral palsy branches out from his insular existence in hopes of finally going after the life he wants.

• Russian Doll (1 Season)

Russian Doll follows a young woman named Nadia (Natasha Lyonne) on her journey as the guest of honor at a seemingly inescapable party one night in New York City.

• American Vandal (2 Seasons)

American Vandal is a half-hour true-crime satire that explores the aftermath of a costly high school prank that left twenty-seven faculty cars vandalized with phallic images. Over the course of the eight-episode season, an aspiring sophomore documentarian investigates the controversial and potentially unjust expulsion of troubled senior (and known dick-drawer) Dylan Maxwell. Not unlike its now iconic true-crime predecessors, the addictive American Vandal will leave one question on everyone's minds until the very end: Who drew the dicks?

• Immigration Nation (1 Season)

A rare and expansive look into the consequences of unfettered power, Immigration Nation is a powerful, harrowing indictment of the current state of American immigration.

#grey

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signor-signor · 5 years ago

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Trending 27th - January 2020

What have been your efforts in the campaign for SaveWOY and what are your upcoming plans to save WOY? Now this is a question worth answering!

In the past, I made a little list of the things I did to support SaveWOY and bring awareness to Wander Over Yonder’s existence and its third season plans. Since then, I’ve done a whole lot more from hand-drawn art to more intricate art. Some of them are almost as special as that signed poster @peepsqueak got from the WOY crew as a token of their gratitude.

Here’s an updated list of everything I did for SaveWOY so far:

Attended the SaveWOY picnic at Griffith Park, where I got to sign a banner.

Pointed out various higher-ups involved in the business of Disney television.

Sent several letters to the higher-ups, some of which had envelopes with an image of the downed space pod taped to them.

Started a weekly Twitter post series, SaveWOY Thought of the Week.

Made Lite-Brite art of Wander and Lord Hater, which Craig McCracken and Francisco Angones liked.

Attended D23 2017 with an Operation: FORCE drawing of Hater, a colored page of Wander and Sylvia and a few facts about WOY, and an orange pen with a green hat (I got the hat from the aforementioned picnic) - there, I signed a bench with Wander and the phrase, “Never hurts to help.”

Signed my name, drew Wander (and my own character, Jacken DeBox), and wrote, “Happiest place in outer space!” on the highest beam for Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge.

Wrote a letter (and drew Wander) for the victims of the Las Vegas tragedy with the message, “The darkest times call for the sunniest smiles!”

Got Craig to reveal the name of the ship (said to play a BIG part in S3, made a cameo in Future-Worm) when I commented that we’d have to figure out the name - his response: “The ship is called The Star Nomad.”

Wrote a couple of cards to two Disney higher-ups with the message, “A little nice makes naughty think twice!”

Drew Dominator in a situation that might take place several seconds after she passes the downed space pod, just in time for Noël Wells’s B-day.

Made the Star Nomad with LEGO Digital Designer.

Made three images in the style of the original Star Wars trilogy VHS set.

Posted 50 WOYS3PredictionPolls on Twitter.

Made an image of “The First 5 Years” with over 140 individuals (including the question marks for 3 new mains and 2 new regulars - I still want to know what they look like!) and one cleverly made Hidden Mickey.

Shared WOY-related images from my 1st 5 Years fan art on Twitter acknowledging the B-days of most of the voice actors (Charlie Adler, Kevin Michael Richardson, Ken Marino, Josh Sussman, H. Michael Croner, James Adomian, Jason Ritter, and Piotr Michael clearly noticed).

Typed a summary of how I think the S3 premiere would go.

Typed lyrics to “Let’s Go Soarin’ and Explorin’,” a song from my aforementioned S3 premiere summary. Wouldn’t it be great if Andy Bean used it?

Made a microgame with WarioWare: D.I.Y. where the player has to spin the fan to make the Star Nomad fly. Part of a chorus from “Let’s Go Soarin’ and Explorin’” included.

Started FanCharacterFriday on Twitter - more Tumblr users seem to like Dr. Otmar Vunderbar.

Made a short comic page of Lord Hater trying to break out of the DTVA vault plus a sly reminder that Disney owns the rights to WOY.

Shared a list of potential episode titles for S3.

Made an actual LEGO Star Nomad based on the model made with LDD. Hopefully, those who worked on WOY have noticed. In case you missed it, here’s a picture...

Now, the ideas I have in mind for further boosting support for the campaign. I may not be able to do most of them myself, but they are certainly for everyone’s consideration.

Provide updated information of higher-ups (if any).

As soon as we find out what Kid Cosmic looks like, expect fan art of him saying, “Watch my show and tell your friends so we’ll make that Mousey Company pay for what they did to my half-brother!”

Another SaveWOY picnic - if there’s one in my general area, you can count me in.

LP album artwork of My Fair Hatey.

A mural identical to that of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate consisting of not just characters from WOY, but also characters who were said to debut in S3 and characters who’d fit in perfectly, namely some of my OCs.

Pumpkin stencils of the main characters for Halloween.

Drawings of various WOY characters stuck on the ex-secret planet explaining why they need to leave said planet. Maybe I could also show how the galaxy’s villains would react if they learn that Lord Dominator’s been bested by Lord Hater.

Drawings consisting of SaveWOY-related messages spoken by the main characters from Disney shows that got at least three seasons (e.g. DuckTales, Fish Hooks), tons of love from the viewers and the executives (e.g. Gravity Falls), or both (e.g. SvtFoE, Mickey Mouse ‘13).

Example with Phineas and Ferb:

Phineas: “We may be creative and famous, but we’re not the ones who came up with the Star Nomad. It’s the ship powered by orbbles! Orbbles! I’d LOVE to see it take flight, wouldn’t you? If you let Mr. McCracken end the show his way, and not the executive way, which, truth be told, is the absolute worst, Wander will surely be elated!”

Ferb: “The Orbble Transporter was invented by conjoined twin brothers, voiced by the performers of the theme song.”

Irving (peeking in from the side): “Speaking of voices, the titular main character sounds JUST LIKE ME! How could you possibly resist?! And look, just because I’m the biggest fan of these guys (gesturing to P&F) doesn’t mean I have no interest in what’s planned for the furry orange fella!”

Since I’m a full-time Disneyland cast member, I should be able to make contacts with anyone who might have more clues about what S3 would entail. It might be a long shot, but if I’m able to convince Disney that WOY’s influence on my life boosted my chance at gaining employment at the company, they should understand.

A weekly Jeopardy-type pop quiz on Twitter - here’s the catch: you must refrain from finding information online when you read the answer (I bet you that the most hardcore fans of the most popular shows will get most of the questions wrong).

Example: This arachnomorph got his name from a dog tag he swallowed when he infiltrated a fish-shaped ship. He later became Lord Hater’s beloved pet.

-Who is Captain Tim?

Summaries of S3 episodes I made up myself a while back.

More fan-made characters - my most recent is an elected official of Cluckon, Mayor Spye C. Drumstick.

Conjuring a logo that best fits the status of S3/TV movie - Wander Over Yonder: The New Galaxy (the center would have the silhouette of the Star Nomad with Wander and Sylvia on it).

Brainstorming possible ideas for the three new main characters.

If all else fails, I suggest we make a web comic based on the hints we accumulated back in 2016 and what we learned from the cameo in Future-Worm’s finale. Team Sea3on has been taking that approach for SatAM Sonic the Hedgehog S3, though they are also making an animated version.

That’s about all I’ve got so far. In closing, I have several questions to ask as the new decade kicks off.

Disney executives: Are you even listening to us WOY fans? What more do you want? I’ve done so much for the campaign that I feel I’m entitled to know everything that was planned for WOY’s third and final season, especially now that I’m working full-time for your company. If you tell us what your demands are, we’d be happy to oblige.

@crackmccraigen: Are you aware of how hard the fans and I have been trying to talk Disney into giving you the chance for true closure? We’ll make sure we watch KC when it comes out on Netflix. If we’re lucky, we might see WOY get added to Disney+, where it should get that closure, assuming you’ll have finished KC your way before then.

@suspendersofdisbelief: I know you’re super busy with DuckTales and you love the plans for WOY S3 so much that you can’t bear to reveal it all in one post, but it’s been waaaay too long since we got any hints from you. Are there any other WOY S3-related facts you could describe in much greater detail? The campaign could do with more motivation.

Non-WOY fans: Are you convinced? Need I remind you what’s in the end tag of the “last” episode of WOY? You know there’s much more to life than tales from the land of Ooo, a blue middle school cat boy in a world of unusual individuals, adolescent twins in an Oregon town filled with oddities, a half-gem half-human protagonist, a coming-of-age princess of Mewni, a trio of ursine trend-followers in San Francisco, and all that jazz. If you’re not one bit interested in Hater’s origin story and all that was planned for S3, it’s your loss.

Pessimists: Will you please dispense with this unnerving “Wander is dead” talk? As a certain Popeye would say, “That’s all I can stands, I can’t stands no more!” You’re not trying to let the Disney bosses win, are you? You probably used to think previously canceled shows like Hey Arnold!, Samurai Jack, and Young Justice could never be brought back. The point is, all is not lost.

@peepsqueak and WOY fans/SaveWOY supporters: Have I been of assistance? Almost every remark I’ve ever made shows wit and perception. I mean, just think. Wander is still stuck in that vault where his goal of reforming Lord Hater remains incomplete, and he has no idea of what threat awaits him. He says, “Glorn, help us.” It’ll take something big and extraordinary to convince every Disney fan (and perhaps every Netflix fan) to talk some sense into the higher-ups. Not to mention the replacement/back-up voice actors we’ll have to find if Disney takes even longer (we already lost one - René Auberjonois). We shan’t rest until we get the answers!

@disneyanimation

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haberdashing · 5 years ago

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What A Tangled Web We Weave (1/?)

TMA AU diverging from canon at the end of episode 92. Jon is forced into an arranged marriage by Elias; Martin does what he can to help.

on AO3

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6

As Jon stayed behind in Elias’ office, the rest of the archives staff slowly headed back to their usual work stations, a gloomy silence filling the air as nobody was entirely willing to discuss what had just happened. Basira, lacking a work station of her own at the moment, simply flopped down on the ground, alternating between flipping through a book she had picked up somewhere between Elias’ office and the archives and engaging Daisy in whispered, furtive conversation.

Martin wondered if he was the only one whose eyes kept drifting towards the door, hoping that Jon was back at the Institute for good, that he’d be joining them in the Archives any minute now. At the very least, he certainly wasn’t the only one who was more than a bit distracted from actually getting any work done; Melanie kept looking at her phone, while Tim was at least focused on his work computer, but appeared to be playing some sort of violent video game on it, one that Martin couldn’t recognize at a glance.

The door did, in fact, open after several minutes, but Martin had to suppress a shiver as he saw that Jon was accompanied by Elias, who looked as smug as ever despite having had a gun pointed at his head only a few short minutes beforehand.

“Apparently I’ll be back here in the Archives for a bit.” Jon said abruptly. No greeting, no explanation, no pretense of being enthused about his return to the Institute. Not that Martin blamed him for that last one, really. It wasn’t exactly an ideal work environment these days, and the events of the past hour or so had made that clearer than ever.

“Oh goodie.” Melanie replied, the sarcasm in her reply as sharp as a knife.

“Glad to have you back?” Martin offered up, uncertainty creeping into his voice as he kept looking between Jon and Elias. If all that was going on was Jon returning to work at the Institute rather than... wherever it was he’d been staying all this time, then Jon could have broken that news himself. Elias’ presence suggested that there was more to this announcement than a simple return to work.

Tim paused his video game, but didn’t actually say anything in response to Jon’s statement, though the glare he directed at both Jon and Elias spoke volumes in and of itself.

“I haven’t told you why I want you back in the building, though, have I?” Elias asked.

It was Elias’ idea. Of course it was Elias’ idea. It made sense, really, given that Elias was Jon’s boss (and boss to the rest of them, Martin supposed, at least by proxy--except Daisy, but then, where exactly she stood after all of this wasn’t entirely clear), but Martin still had to suppress a sigh upon finding that out.

The question had seemed like a rhetorical one, but Jon still responded with a soft “No, you haven’t.”

Tim finally spoke up at that. “Go on, then, boss. Enlighten us.”

(Martin wasn’t sure which had thrown more sarcasm into their voice, Tim or Melanie. Either of them could certainly give the other a run for their money.)

Though the “boss” reference left it open to either Jon or Elias, it was the latter who responded.

“Jon here will be getting married in a month.”

The look of shock on Jon’s face made it clear that this was news to him as much as to the rest of the archives staff.

The room erupted into a series of shouts bleeding into one another until they seemed to form a single cacophonous mess.

“Wait, what?”

“No, that can’t be right-”

“Why isn’t Jon the one telling us this?”

“Jon? Married? Seriously?”

“Who says?”

“And how does this affect the rest of us, exactly?”

Elias cleared his throat, like a schoolteacher commanding a classroom full of unruly pupils, and the room quickly settled back into silence as he spoke up again.

“We’re quickly reaching a crucial junction when it comes to keeping the state of the world as we know it intact, and we’ll need some support in order to maintain both the Institute and Jon’s position within it in the months to come. As a symbol of that support, Jon and somebody connected to one of our allies will marry one another in order to strengthen the link between us.”

A few seconds passed before anyone responded; to Martin’s surprise, it was Basira, eyes now focused on Elias rather than on the still-open book in her lap.

“What does that actually mean?”

Elias sighed, but before he could respond, Jon spoke up, irritation and a strange sort of resignation both evident in his voice.

“If I’m understanding this right, it means Elias is having me married off to somebody I don’t know, who probably has some sort of powers that could kill me, as part of some supernatural alliance deal to stop the end of the world.”

“Yep, that tracks.” Tim added.

“More or less.” Elias responded. “Though there’s no need to worry about your personal safety, Jon. The whole point is that they’ll be here to help.”

“Forgive me if I’m less than overjoyed by the idea of receiving ‘help’ from some mystery person, especially given the track record I’ve got with people claiming they’re trying to help me.” Martin was pretty sure Jon’s glaring at Elias was especially pointed as that sentence wrapped up.

“Overjoyed or not, I’m afraid you’ve got no say in the matter. You will be married in a month’s time. The arrangements have already been made.”

“Hang on, you can’t just do that!”

Even Martin was a little surprised by how loud and passionate his voice became when he spoke up, and a few quick glances around the room revealed that he wasn’t the only surprised one.

“Just because Jon works for you doesn’t mean you can, can decide who he marries, or if he marries, or, or anything to do with his personal life, for that matter! Jon’s still his own person, not just some pawn of yours!”

“Interesting phrasing there; Jon and I actually just finished a conversation about his very... personhood. Or lack thereof.”

God, Martin wanted to punch Elias in the face. Apparently killing him was off the table for the time being, but punching him couldn’t hurt, right?

...oh, who was he kidding? Martin wasn’t generally the one to start a fight, at least not a literal, physical one, and past experience showed that he was much less likely to be the puncher than the one being punched.

It was a nice thought, though, at least.

Elias went on. “I suppose Jon could try to object, if he so chooses, but I suspect that any such effort would end rather... messily. Besides, the Web does have its way of getting what it wants, no matter who protests about it.”

“...the Web? My... my future spouse will be connected to the Web?”

Jon looked unhealthily pale, and Martin was reminded of the arguments the two of them had had before over spiders, how Jon always vehemently defended the point of view that they were nasty little critters that deserved to be killed on sight, no matter how hard Martin tried to explain their place in the ecosystem or his personal liking of them. Martin knew most people weren’t fond of spiders in the least, but Jon... Jon seemed to have an honest-to-God phobia about them.

“Yes. They’re a powerful ally, and they’d be a powerful enemy, too; I think it’s much better to ensure they’re on our side for this operation than risk the opposite. I’m still working out the details with Annabelle Cane, though, so I’m not yet sure whether your betrothed will be Ms. Cane herself or one of her associates.”

Annabelle Cane... that name had come up in one of the statements, hadn’t it? Some arachnophobia experiment gone wrong, a uni student left with too many limbs...

One look at Jon made it clear that he’d made the same connection Martin had. He looked like he was about ready to keel over.

“Are you going to have the rest of us married off too, then?” Melanie asked; a second later, when Elias hadn’t responded, she let out a bitter laugh and added, “Don’t tell me you’re actually considering it.”

“No, I don’t think so. Jon’s a bit of a special case in that regard. But if anything about the situation changes, I’ll be sure to keep you all posted.”

“You’re an asshole!” Tim said, though Martin honestly wasn’t sure whether it was related to the news about Jon’s involuntary marriage or just about... well, about everything Elias did, really.

“Duly noted. Now, unless there’s anything else...”

Elias turned away, but Jon grabbed his shoulder as he reached for the door.

“There’s nothing I can do about any of this?”

“I wouldn’t say that. You can buy yourself a tuxedo, for one thing.”

And with those parting words of wisdom, Elias Bouchard left the Archives, closing the door softly but firmly behind him.

“I... I need to sit down. Process all of this.” Sitting down was probably a good idea, given that Martin still wasn’t convinced Jon wasn’t on the verge of passing out; Jon looked positively ill, worse by far than he’d appeared during their earlier showdown with Elias, and he hadn’t been at his best then either. “I’ll be in my office, but don’t bother me unless it’s urgent, alright? I do not want to talk about this.”

Jon practically stomped off to his office, slamming the door behind him and leaving an awkward silence in his wake.

#tma #tma au #tma fic #tma fanfic #the magnus archives #the magnus archives au #the magnus archives fic #the magnus archives fanfic #personal #my writing

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hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger · 5 years ago

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So let’s say you’re now in charge of creating a Spider-Man TV Series, as many seasons and episodes you want, as long as it remains genuinely faithful to the comics; Peter gets his powers when he’s 17, only Flash and Liz are with him in high school, ect, and ending it all with a Revelations like series finale. You’re allowed to streamline some things now that there’s the benefit of hindsight. You’re also allowed to be as faithful to the comics as possible. What do you create?

Lol I’ve been planning this for like 15 years. Currently I’d do this. 12 seasons 26 episodes each, and 3 movies.

I’d play it as a biography of Peter’s life from the day he became Spidey to the day he stopped, with a mind of making a version of the MC2 universe the canonical future for this version of Spidey. I’d set it in the 1960s as depicted by Ditko but have the technology and fashions change to broadly speaking reflect the time periods that Peter spent parts of his life in. In other words his high school episodes will be set in what looks like the 1960s, Gwen would die in what would look like the early 1970s and he’d get married in what would look like the late 1980s. But cultural references would be kept to a minimal. Effentivly it’d be set in a world where fashions and technology happened to occur way more quickly thanin the real life, so 1962-1998’s fashions and technologies all happened but across like 12 years.

Also I’d have Peter’s look change. He’d start out with the Coke bottle glasses and keep them throughout season 1, and he’d have a black and red costume, complete with a big blue spider on his back and web pits. The idea being this is a rookie spidey who’s awkward and not yet become the Spidey we perhaps recognize. He’d sell his glasses in the final episodes and get his costume wrecked in the finale, requiring him to make a new one, the classic Romita Senior outfit minus the web pits. He’d keep that until he got his black suit which would be modelled on Frenz’ take upon it. the cloth Black suit would have more of a McFarlane influence with huge eyes. MJ would make him a new red+blue costume before his first big showdown with Venom which would resemble the McFarlane/Bagley 90s look. Obviously Scarlet Spider’s look would be modelled on Bagley’s design, Spider-Ben on Romita Jr’s and his final outfit would be modelled on Romita Jr’s too. And Sal Buscema’s take would be the outfit worn by Flash when he pretends to be Spider-Man.

Movie 1: Amazing Fantasy: The Birth of Spider-Man: The origin, MAYBE rounded off with ASM #1’s plot.

Season 1: Basically everything up to when he graduated with every issue serving as an episode. I’d omit guest appearances like the F4, the Torch, DD, the Circus of Crime. I’d supplant the ASM #5’s plot with one about Jason Macendale armed with tech abducting Flash when he’s dressed as Spidey. He’d be a stand in for the Headman from Untold Tales and the episode would end with his mysterious boss speaking to Spidey remotely through a camera. This would of course be the Goblin who I’d have debut in what was his second appearance hijacking the Spidey fan club. I’d have Doc Ock unmasking Spidey end that episode and have most of it dedicated to Betty Brant’s origin told in flashbacks as she’s abducted. I’d do Spider-Man No More here, combining it with ASM #18’s plot line as it’d redundant to have him quit in big ways twice. So one episode would be ASM #18’s plot with bits of ASM #50 mixed in, ending with him throwing away his suit. Then the next episode would be about his Spidey free life before he triumphantly returns. The Molten man episodie would end with Aunt May collapsing rather than Spidey graduating.

This would lead directly into the MP Trilogy’s main storyline but to spice things up the Master Planner would hire some of Spider-Man’s villains as extra obstacles in his way, thus we’d adapt the original Sinister Six story too. The last episode would end with Peter graduating and then sitting alone to make a new suit. Also Betty would leave town.

Season 2: It’d kick off with a recovered Peter starting college and someone hiring Kraven to go after Spidey like in ASM #34. The key difference here being that Kraven dons Spider-man’s old costume and when Spidey finally shows up to deal with him he’s sporting his new red and blue Romita Sr threads. Then we’d get the Robot Master stuff, the first Rhino story and a few other stories before around episode 6 or 7 getting to the Goblin unmasking Spider-Man and revealing himself as Norman. I’d have Norman seriously injured to the point where Spider-Man has to save him or else he’d die. He’d sweat about Norman knowing the truth like in Spider-Man: Blue before finding out Norman has amnesia and that most people don’t recover their memories. Seeing how happy Harry is, he decided to let it go and give Norman a chance. The rest of the season is basically adapting the big Romita era stories (sans Spider-Man No More of course), with an emphasis on Kingpin and fewer Doc Ock stories. POSSIBLY I might do Doc Ock’s origin from Unlimited #3 here, I dunno. It’d either be here or next season though. The season would wrap up with George Stacy’s death and with Gwen leaving.

Also I’d foreshadow a little that Norman has a healing factor via his speedy recovery.

Also, also, rather than space spores creating Colonel Jupiter, I’d have it be the Moon Gem that actually turned him into man-Wolf. It’d be an artefact he’d bring back from the moon and it’d increase his strength and affect his mind so that he’d desire to have the gem for some unknown reason (we’ll find out later).

Season 3: This would be half a team up season, introducing characters from the Marvel Universe who’re relevant to Spider-Girls’ stories, so the F4, Daredevil, Ghost Rider, Doctor Strange, Spider Woman, Arana, Julia Carpenter, the Avengers, the X-Men, etc. It’d begin with Peter heading to London to find Gwen and inadvertently winding up in a team up, I’ve not figured out with whom yet (maybe Ice Man and Firestar for funsies, MAYBE Excalibur so we’d get Spider Phoenix????), anyway it’d adapt ASM #95 in any case. Then we’d go to the drug trilogy but I’ve not yet decided how to handle this. On the one hand it’s iconic. On the other it’s questionable by modern standards to have Peter see Norman remember the truth and then just let him go on, hoping he doesn’t remember. Maybe you could play it as him being worried that turning Norman in could trigger his memory, I dunno. I feel you could swap out the action part of the story with something else, provided you kept all the Harry drug stuff the same, and maybe had the story be about Norman STARTING to remember and unravel. When peter goes to him for a job though he’d catch a glimpse of a weird painting, depicting the Scriers and Norman would give a little background on their alleged history.

I’d also have the Six Arm Saga and debut of Morbius happen here, but link it in with some illegal genetic experiments someone within ESU is doing on the side for the mob. These experiments would lead to the creation of Vermin who owns Spidey’s ass until he’s saved by someone at the end of the episode. After Vermin beats a retreat, that someone helps Spidey up and it’s Captain America! Cue an ep of Spidey and Cap on the helicarrier with Chameleon using Artificial Life similicra to infiltrate it. Cap is abducted at the end of this episode and the Avengers show up accusing Spider-Man of it. Cue the next 2 episodes where Spider-Man teams up with the Avengers to take on the Hulk in Canada and Seth, the Serpent God of Death. This would then lead into the final 2 episodes which I’ll get to in a moment.

Also in this season I’d have a two part team up with Spidey and Spider Woman. Madame Web would summon them and reveal she is a member of the Spider Clan. Her granddaughter Anya Corazon, has been abducted by the Tarantula clan and Peter and Jess need to rescue her. This would allow Spidey to meet Madame Web, Jessica Drew and Anya of course and foreshadow the Black Tarantula. The Tarantula Clan’s outfits would resemble Julia Carpenter’s Spider Woman and Arachne outfits. This would lead to a ‘filler’ ep about Spider-Man fixing his suit and daydreaming about other costumes and powers he could have. This would be an excuse to pay homage to the Spider Armour, Captain Universe and a few other classic outfits for Spider-Man. the episode would end with him tossing away a doodle of the black costume inspired by his previous adventure. Later we’d get Nothing Can Stop the Juggernaut but the story would end with the X-Men showing up. The episode after that would be a Spidey/X-Men team up but Mastermind would mind control them into fighting, thus we’d get Spider-Man vs. the X-Men like Secret Wars #3

The final 2 eps would be the Death of Gwen Stacy. I’d keep this pretty much the same but with the exception of having Gwen awake and trying to escape. The moments just before she’s knocked off the bridge Peter would try to earn her trust by starting to unmask.

Season 4: It’d kick off with the Jackal hiring Punisher to take out Spider-Man. Apart from that it’d be basically ASM #123-149, all about Peter grieving Gwen, falling in love with MJ, etc. I would cut some of the dumber stuff out though and condense some multi-parters into single stories. I’d whack in some team ups for good measure too as MTU was around at this time. One major change I’d make is that I’d have Man-Wolf show up as a result of similar experiments that created Vermin and ditch the moon gem stuff. However, Man-Wolf would eventually go after the Moon gem but it’s energies would in fact revert him to normal. The clprit behind Man-wolf and Vermin would be revealed as Miles Warren.

One smaller change I’d make would be to omit ASM #150. It’s a great issue but it’s not a great season finale like ASM #149 would be. BUT I’d keep the MJ scene from it by simply moving it to the events of ASM #149. The idea is that when the bomb hits zero, everything fades to white, Peter would wake up amidst debris, when Gwen asks how he knows he’s the real one, he’d respond that ‘he just knows’. Later as he’d be approaching his apartment we’d get a flashback revealing that he was thinking of MJ as the bomb hit zero and so he couldn’t be the clone. Cue him finding MJ in the apartment, end season.

Season 5: Basically the Len Wein run with a dash of Marv Wolfman. It’d wrap up with a combination of 3 Wolfman era stories. MJ proposing to MJ, Spidey vs. the Burglar from ASM #200 and finally Peter graduating. A major change would be that MJ would literally leave town immediately after rejecting Peter, and it’d be a break up not just a rejection. But we the audience would see a private moment with MJ where we can tell she wasn’t nearly as casual about it as she let on.

Movie 2: Mayhem in Manhattan: Mid way through the season I’d adapt this Spider-Man novel into another animated film.

Season 6: It’d kick off with Spider-Man meeting Black Cat. The season really would be about Peter dating different people casually and more seriously. Deb Whitman, Cissy Ironwood, etc. He’s work for the Daily Globe and start Grad school. The season finale would be the Owl/Octopus War ending with Felicia seriously injured and Peter ripping out Otto’s arms as a result. The season would end with Spider-Man and Black Cat now an item. But I’d omit the events of Spec #77-79. Also at the Daily Globe Peter would meet and work with Eddie Brock.

Season 7: It’d start with the debut of the Hobgoblin, cover Felcia’s recovery, gaining new powers (from other people continuing Warren’s experiments with animal DNA), MJ’s return, Peter dropping out of Grad school, MJ’s big reveal and origin, and culminate in Peter and Black Cat breaking up and Kingpin leaving NYC. The Kingpin battle would be taken from Wolfman’s run moreso than Spec #100 because that’s just a better fight.

Of course the Alien Costume Saga would happen. I’d keep the canon stuff but add in the elements of it corrupting him, with the extra spice of Felicia actually preferring this darker Spider-Man.

Peter would get the costume differently though. Instead of Secret Wars, criminals would try and obtain the Moon Gem, which was being hosted as ESU. The fight would culminate in a Kinglsey clothing factory and as a last resort Spidy would smash the gem by throwing it into one of the machines in the factory.

Licking his wounds afterwards he’d be leaning against the conveyer belt when a tiny black ball would emerge from the shards of the Moon Gem, enlarge and when Spidey noticed it we’d recreate Secret Wars #8.

BTW, to give readers clues to the Hobgoblin’s identity I’d have him record a voice journal but with a voice changer so we get his inner thoughts sorta.

Also Jason Macendale would show back up but not as jack O’lantern.

Season 8: It’d start with ASM #260-261, the Rose/Hobgoblin story where they abduct a pregnant Liz Allan. The season would omit a lot of irrelevant stuff like the golden notebook subplot, the Beyonder, etc. But it’d keep stuff like Crusher Hogan, When Commeth the Commuter, Web #13 and other classic stories. The three central subplots of this season would be the Ned/Flash/Betty love triangle, Peter and MJ’s ‘will they won’t they’ romance and the Hobgoblin mystery. However instead of Lance Bannon, Eddie Brock would be one of the suspects. Brock would be threatened directly by Spider-Man when he starts writing Sin Eater articles and that’s just about the only thing I’d change from the Death of Jean DeWolff storyline. Most of the real important stuff from this era (sans Doc Ocks mental breakdown) I’d keep the same with the exception of not making Jason Macendale the new Hobgoblin. After Peter and Felicia break up I’d have Betty go all Cult of Love from later in the comics before the finale being yet another way later story: Hobgoblin Lives. It’s just more logical to wrap up the Hobgoblin mystery here rather than end it badly and wait years to fix it.

Season 9: This is kind of the least accurate season but hear me out. Okay so we start off with Peter proposing to MJ, her rejecting him, then her agreeing, just like in the comics. BUT...we don’t have them then get married. Something as huge as your protagonist’s wedding should be the first or final episode of a season, not episode 3 or 4 or even the mid-season finale. So I’d grab a load of post-wedding stories and tweak them to be about Peter and MJ as an engaged couple. The stories would be selected to somehow tie-in with their relationship. The idea is to have the couple gradually develop doubts. So we’d have Jonathan Caesar. We’d have the Drunk Spider-Man issue but with Jason Macendale now the Demogoblin (it’s just a costume no demonic stuff) instead of the Hobgoblin. MAYBE we’d even have a heavily rewritten Jason Jerome subplot. We’d have Felicia turning back up to stir up trouble as she did in the 1990s. You get the picture. Because the finale is the wedding, which is obviously light on action, the episodes before the wedding I’d finally do Venom. Venom is great at generating dynamic action set pieces so he’d kind of compensate for no action in the actual finale. Venom is also an ideal choice because this whole season is about a romantic relationship, and Venom is in a sense an ‘unholy union’ between two entities. We’d draw upon the fact that Brock’s wife left him and ASM #300’s climax happening in a church bell tower is just too perfect for the wedding theme of this season. One element I’d throw in though would be for Spidey to have his ass handed to him by Venom once only to get away. MJ makes Spidey a new red and blue costume. The idea being that in wearing Venom’s colours the colours Felicia preferred him in, the colours that don’t represent his true self, he won’t win against this dark version of himself. But the red+blues are Mj’s preferred suit, MJ’s colours and reflective of who he really is.

The season finale would be the wedding but split over 2 episodes. The first ep would end with Peter going to see Felicia the night before his wedding and MJ going off with Bruce (or maybe Jason Jerome).

The actual final episode would be them vocing their doubts and insecurities to Felicia and Jason/Bruce and through talking with them, and reflecting on the events of the season and their lives in general they realise they’re just getting jitters. If they weren’t going to go through with this they would’ve walked away a long time ago. In fact their hardships this season prove they can handle it and make it work. So they get married but in typical Parker luck fashion their ride gets caught in traffic en route to the honey moon, so they gotta web swing their way there into the sunset.

Movie 3: Fearful Symmetry: Kraven’s Last Hunt: I briefly considered making this the opening of the next season, the season finale of the last season or the mid-season finale of the last season but it just didn’t work. It’s too iconic to change up like that it HAS to happen shortly after the wedding. Making it a movie would help sell the fact that for the first time ever we’re suddenly hearing Kraven and Vermin’s inner thoughts which would be weird to happen randomly in the middle of a season. A movie though can sort of be it’s own thing.

I wouldn’t change anything beyond adding a kind of prologue chronicling Kraven’s history up until now, who Vermin is, Peter and MJ’s marriage, Ned’s death, just some stuff that’s a small story unto itself and can allow the movie to stand on it’s own a bit more.

Season 10: Basically this is the Harry Osborn Saga from DeMatteis’ run. I’d cut down on the Vermin stuff. Maybe I’d cut out Peter’s parents from Child Within. I dunno because I would totally do a rewritten Robot Parents story arc in this season because I think that story could be compelling if done properly. I’d just have it happen BEFORE Harry dies, which naturally would be the season finale. Also in this season we’d introduce Carnage, Tombstone, the Joe Robertson/Tombstone subplot and the Return of the Sinister Six. One thing I’d add into the latter story would be the character of Carolyn Trainer who’s quite taken with Doc Ock. Spidey and Ock would have a huge showdown adapting their battle from Spec #79 since that’s probably the best Spidey/Ock fight ever. I might also do an adaptation of Soul of the Hunter and/or Torment, both because it’s a famous Lizard story and because it’d set up Kraven’s death withint he context of the show and thus give Chameleon motivation for the Robot Parents stuff.

Season 11: A heavily abridged and rewritten version of...the Clone Saga!

I’ve actually plotted this episode by episode. The gist is Aunt May has a stroke, Ben shows up, we introduce Carrion who busts out Carnage in exchange for some of his symbiote. Spidey fights Carnage but when they’re both affected by a poison Carrion tests out, Ben steps in to help. Venom also escapes, leading to Ben becoming Scarlet Spider. Peter is dying of the poison leading into the Web of Death story where Doc Ock cures him and Kaine then kills Otto. Web of Death could’ve been the ultimate end for Doc Ock so in a show that’s finite it makes sense to end him with that.

Anyway, Peter learns MJ is pregnant, he and Ben reunite with the Jackal, Carrion and the Gwen clone. They learn Carrion is a clone of Warren and was in fact the Warren from Shea stadium, he’s got telepathic powers and is using them to keep Gwen’s clone (Joyce Delany) under Warren’s control. Warren sows doubt as to who the real guy is.

Aunt May dies, Peter goes to jail, a third Peter Parker shows up. But instead of being Spidercide I’d make him a human/symbiote hybrid, and he’d be this show’s version of Toxin.

Peter becomes Scarlet Spider to clear his own name, learns who Kaine is, finds out he’s a clone, DOESN’T hit MJ but he does run away distraught, etc.

I’d have Maximum Clonage happen but very, very differently. No army of spider clones, no Punisher, no nonsense like that. Warren is going to unleash his virus but wants to keep MJ safe as her baby could be interesting to study. So he abducts her and gives inoculations to the virus to everyone. MJ refuses so he asks Gwen to do it as she’s MJ’s friend. Gwen’s clone is kind of not all there due to the mind control so when MJ breaks her own dose of the inoculation, Gwen simply administers her dose to MJ. Ben shows up to save MJ and knocks out Carrion. Carrion as it turns out was keeping Toxin under control so he freaks out, grabs MJ and Gwen, asks Ben to choose between them and tosses them both off the roof, but then he pins Ben so he can’t save either. Peter shows up to save MJ, Warren instinctively jumps after Gwen to save her but out of nowhere, a new Green Goblin shows up to save her and Warren dies. The Goblin, Kaine, Ben and Peter fight Toxin who’s gonna be losing until he bonds with Carrion and is now too much for everyone else. Gwen meanwhile would be trying to defuse the device that’d be administering the virus, but starting to degenerate due to the stress.

Her last ditch effort would be to implore Carrion/Toxin to save them all. He’s a clone of Peter and Miles Warren so he loves her and since she’s not inoculated she’s gonna die. Carrion/Toxin smother the virus and absorb the poison into themselves, dying.

Kaine takes Gwen’s clone away as he understands the pain of degeneration and Peter retires, making Ben the new Spider-Man.

The second half of the season is a condensed Spider-Ben era but with Lady Ock, Spider-Carnage, Green Goblin V and Blood Brothers as the central storylines. We’d do some flashbacks to Lost Years and wrap up with Revelations. As a final little change I’d have Peter’s new Spider-Man costume be one created by Ben before he decided to make his own one.

Season 12: Basically the post-Clone Saga era. This final season would be wrapping stuff up, giving a lot of characters their swan songs, but the focus would be on Peter and Norman’s rivalry, Norman owning the Bugle, etc.

We’d introduce Black Tarantula, have a final gang war storyline in which Kaine is hired as a mercenary, Daredevil and Richard Fisk would die, and Kingpin would finally go to jail for good.

I’d also sort of adapt the Revenge of the Green Goblin storyline. I’d have Mysterio on Norman’s orders create a ‘dream’ for Peter Parker where he imagines MJ dies in a plane crash and everything goes wrong, Norman would torment him and try and tempt him into becoming his son and heir. Peter resists and escapes the nightmare.

The season/show would wrap up with Peter reclaiming baby May and a final showdown with the Green Goblin. Norman would be rocking his Marvel Knights armour and be juiced up with Phil Urich’s strength enhancing Goblin mask. Also Phil Urich will have been black mailed into becoming the Goblin on Norman’s behalf so he could clear his own name.

I’ll spare you the details, but essentially Norman’s plan involves murdering billions of people, taking control of the world and potentially endangering the life of baby May. He’s ultimately killed when his identity is revealed to the press, his glider decapitates him and triggers a gagillion explosions. Said explosions would wreck the Bugle leading to Spidey lifting it up like in the Final Chapter. Before he died though, Norman would try to beat Spidey by administering an antidote to his powers that he would’ve tested on Scorpion. He’d not give Peter the full dose though.

When all is said and done, Peter’s got an injured leg (but he’s not lost either of them) and his spider powers are gone, maybe forever, so he retires to be a family man.

This then leads into Spider-Girl where we learn over time he regained some of his old powers but they amount to allowing him to crawl on walls, have a vague reading from his spider sense and render him fit for his age. His leg injury still plays up though. Basically he’s got power but not so much that it’d be reasonable for him to go back to heroism.

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migleefulmoments · 6 years ago

Note

Debunking ahead: Tinhats historically believe Darren was FreePavarotti (mleigh69*tumblr*com/post/126280604185/why-do-people-think-darren-is-free-pavarotti). He isn't. Dominic Tracy (nee Barnes) stated the account was owned by a fan in Boston (www*masslive*com/television/2011/03/glee_exclusive_dominic_barnes*html) which was followed-up by an interview with with said Boston fan who owns it (www*masslive*com/television/2011/03/glee_exclusive_mr_boston_speak*html). As usual, tinhats bleat it was PR.

Ooohhh I love this....this is tooo delicious.

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akf-ighting asked:Why do people think Darren is Free Pavarotti?

@mleight69:

There are quite a few reasons - some screen captured - others not

but all seem to lead to the same conclusion - despite PR attempts to “prove” it otherwise

the truth is hard to hide when it doesn’t want to be hidden

This was a fun exchange that pav jumped in on:

THIS ONE IS A PERSONAL FAVORITE:

if the above doesn’t scream Darren’s voice to you - nothing will.

And there was a third tweet from a female friend (can’t recall who) who told him to watch which account he was tweeting from and called him “birdbrain”

This was an interesting post:

on December 10th, there were three consecutive tweets. I have all three in my phone saved. 11:10: @DarrenCriss I was gonna hop in the shower but then I decided to do jumping jacks in there instead. and then at 11:15: @DarrenCriss I was gonna hop in a cab but I realized there was no room in there for it. Plus I had nowhere to go. Sorry cab driver please let me out. and THEN, at 11:21: @FreePavarotti I was gonna hop to it but decided to walk instead. 3 MPH. So, basically, Darren mixed up accounts. (Tweets from FreePavarotti generally have #FreePav at the end.) The tweet was promptly deleted, so very few people have proof that it happened, but I do. it proved that Darren runs @FreePavarotti. LINK

I have seen screencaps of the tweet that Pav sent out the night of Chris’ 21st bad when they were on tour

Pav was drunk - or acting drunk - both are possible - the tweet was deleted

like the others that pointed too specifically to who was in charge of the account

I believe it is both Chris and Darren - but mostly Darren

The timing of events and information known - a lot not possible without some inside info

Many are in Darren’s playful and mischievous voice (with a possible assist from Chris at many)

And honestly - WHY would anyone work so hard to cover up something that was just a random fan having fun?! LINK

Another incidence of PR overkill - that only proves the opposite to be true -they seem to have mastered this maneuver - don’t you think?!

Free pav continues to favorite things time and again

and frequently they are INTERESTING choices for sure!

Choose for yourself - but coincidences are only coincidences SO MANY TIMES

time will tell

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'Glee' exclusive: Mr. Boston speaks about FreePavarotti Twitter

Updated Mar 25, 2019; Posted Mar 31, 2011 Comment0sharesBy

Samantha Stephens, The Republican

Who would have thought that a bird could cause such a commotion?Pavarotti might have only appeared on a couple episodes of Glee but Kurt Hummel's (Chris Colfer) pet warbler stole the attention and devotion of thousands of Glee fans.

With a popular Twitter account, which currently has 9,483 followers, Pavarotti kept fans entertained with witty status updates about his caretaker, the Warblers, Kurt's budding relationship with Blaine (Darren Criss), and his own budding romance with Warbler Luke Edgemon.

As the account became popular, speculation over who ran the account swept the internet. Most fans agreed that it had to be a member of the Glee cast. But disparities on whether the account was operated by a Warbler, Darren Criss, or a joint-effort was a topic of debate for many.

When I started what I referred to as my “Wild Warbler Week”, in which I had the pleasure of chatting with three of the Warbler boys, I decided to try to get to the bottom of this mystery.

I was prepared to listen to the standard "he's a bird!" reply that had always been given when anyone attempted to solve this conundrum. But, lo and behold, I received the information on the first attempt thanks to Dominic Barnes.

We may never know the mysterious Mr. Boston’s true identity, he refused to answer any personal questions, but he offered an exclusive interview in which he revealed some of the magic (or should I say glitter?) behind the famous Twitter account.

When did you start the account? Where did the idea come from? The account began on December 1, 2010. It was the day after Pavarotti appeared on the show, I think. I started watching Glee when the Warblers first appeared, which was a couple weeks prior. I've done joke Twitters before in a different context, and it was a lot of fun. The initial idea was to start a campaign to "free Pavarotti", hence the username, while retweeting information about the Beelzebubs and bullying, to keep it in context. When I started tweeting, though, doing the character seemed like a more fun, accessible way to put that stuff out there.

Where did you get the ideas for the status updates? Do you have a favorite status or one that is particularly memorable? I had two different characters in mind for Pavarotti; one was the actor, an actual bird on set, totally infatuated with his own success and enamored with his fellow Warblers. He's the one who actually acts like a bird. The other was the bird in the show. That Pavarotti was meant to be a little more like a miniature Kurt; he overplays the "gay", gets excited about hanging out with Blaine, loves to sing to himself, and pretends to be well-educated about things like fashion, history, and music, while in reality he's just tossing his sassy feathers around, saying please, look at me, don't let me get lost, I'm bright yellow, I want to be important! Ha ha.

The other factor in updating the Twitter was relevancy; What's a hot topic in the world (Libya; Japan)?, Is there something I can do to stick with the gay/bullying theme (Trevor Project; transgender boy actor bird; It Gets Better)?, and What's up with my caretakers and how can I redirect some followers to them (Warblers; Bubs; Glee)?

I don't think I have a favorite. There are over 800 tweets on the account, you know! Every time I got to say "I'm not Someone Famous, because I'm a bird," that was awesome. Bird puns, too. Bird titles. Bird anything, really.

Did you ever expect it to become such a phenomenon within the Glee fandom? Not in a million years! I didn't even expect it to catch the eye of people in the show - and while I made some fun tweets, Pavarotti's popularity is due entirely to the Warblers & co. If it weren't for some of the guys being great sports, playing along, and pretending that Pavarotti was the real bird they worked with, this conversation we're having would be even more absurd. The Darren Criss conspiracy theory is also to blame.

Could you elaborate on the Darren Criss conspiracy for people who might not be familiar with it? I once dueled a tiger upon the harsh wastelands of Kentucky, but as soon as I managed to subdue this creature, it tweeted that I was actually Darren Criss to the World Wide Web. Its approximately three and a half million followers were fooled instantly and a thousand of them became personally invested. In order to preserve my secret identity and continue to oppose Professor Zoom and Magneto in their dastardly schemes, I played along until the time was rife to take revenge.

You said you had two ideas for how to maintain the Pavarotti Twitter, how did you decide between the two ideas? I used both Pavarotti - the bird and the actor. Some people picked up on this right away. It's not necessary in order to read it, though. The plan to use it as a "freedom campaign" was nixed almost immediately, because doing the character tweets was too much fun. And also because I couldn't come up with a neat little logo to save my life.

A huge part of the Twitter account was dedicated to the relationship between Luke Edgemon and Pavarotti. How did that get started and will you and Luke remain in touch? Luke was the first Warbler to tweet at FreePavarotti as though he were the real deal - he said "Pleasure working with you today!" and that was the beginning of my credibility. The romantic tweets just happened. Truly the age-old story of a canary and a boy falling in love. We will! At least, I hope so. We still text through private messages.

Pav had a lot of status updates about "Klaine" - do you think he's smiling from Bird Heaven now that they're finally (unofficially) together? What are your personal opinions on that storyline? I think Pavarotti loved both of the boys, as well as the rest of the Warblers. He did his best to chirp it up with Kurt, and Blaine was a real pal. I don't think he would have much of an opinion on the relationship itself, aside from what it does to Blaine and the Pips' set-list. Personally, it's important to have a gay relationship on primetime T.V., even if it's as silly as any other hookup on Glee. The "Brittana" excites me more, to be honest! People need to see that - LGBT intolerance is heading the way of dodo birds, shell suits, and separate drinking fountains, so we better darn well get a more and more positive presence in the media with each passing day.

Who has a stronger love: Pav and Luke or Kurt and Blaine? Love is the most powerful force in the universe; it's not a spectator sport. Be careful with that!

You mentioned one of the themes you wanted to touch upon with the Pav account was the bullying issue. What are your thoughts about the Kurt/Karofsky storyline and the possibility for Karosky's redemption? I'm not really qualified to talk about this! But here goes: I do like to think that anyone can find redemption, especially somebody who's lost and lashing out like Karofsky. The locker room kiss scene turns my stomach, and getting Kurt out of that entire environment was definitely the right thing to do. I'm sure Karofsky will "see the light", for lack of a better term. It's been set since that Superbowl number. I just don't know how much divine vengeance is too much - his remorse alone isn't really enough to make up for what he's done, but taking a crowbar to the guy's head would be overkill! Glee will, with any luck, find a happy medium and a happy ending for him. He and guys like him could use a little hope.

How difficult has it been to keep the secret, especially when so many people assumed the account was run by a Warbler or member of the cast? A fair number of folks on the human plane have known about the account from the start. I'm grateful that none of them have spoiled the fun. I experience a mixture of guilt and glee when accused of being a member of the cast; I figured if anybody in the inner sanctum of Glee minded, I'd get in trouble, or someone would clear the air, so I'm guessing anybody on Glee who's heard of me gets just as much satisfaction out of toying with the emotions of Twitter as I do. Splendid. I don't need these five minutes of fame attached to my face; having this game on the internet was fun enough.

What did you think the reaction would be when it was revealed that you weren't a member of the Glee cast? I was surprised that the Warblers were surprised - I thought they were all just playing along! I figured Darren Criss would laugh to himself. You know, everybody's different - I knew some people would be disappointed, some people would be really amused, and some would still insist I'm a member of the cast.

Do you keep in touch with anyone from the cast of Glee? I could just tell you "no," but that's not very mysterious. I have a feeling folks would be skeptical, too. How about...my buddies are my secret, and the poor cast of Glee and I can continue to try to live our lives as ordinary people, connection or no connection.

Were you a fan of the show before you started the Twitter? If so, what was your favorite episode or cover? Nope! I'd never seen it before the Warblers appeared. But since then I've ended up with the box set of the first season, and I've seen some of it. I loved the episode with the mattress commercial. I like Teenage Dream a lot. I also liked Forget You and Vogue.

Who is your favorite Glee character? Puck. He appeals to my sensibilities. He's a cool dude with a lot to prove. He gets some great lines. He's just great. He can be both a bully and a kicked puppy.

When and how did you find out that Pav was going to die in "Original Songs"? I found out when people started tweeting me asking if it was true. That's how I learned a lot of things; I don't read the news blogs, and I don't really talk to people on the inside - well, I wouldn't be so rude as to ask for deets on spoilers all the time if I did, although I shot off a couple of excited messages to Warblers when I discovered "my" days were numbered. I toyed with the hearts of my followers, and as soon as I was informed that the death was actually going to happen, I began to plot my own demise.

On Glee, Kurt assumes Pavarotti dies from a stroke. Is that what really happened? How did you decide what the final tweet would be? Pavarotti either died of a stroke or of a glitter overdose. There was no time for an autopsy, in between singing and making out, so the world may never know. I had the final few days' worth of tweets saved on my phone weeks in advance. Pavarotti died while chirping out a tune; that's the way he wanted to live, so that's the way he had to go. The song seemed relevant.

Do you approve of the bedazzled coffin Pav was laid to rest in? It's beautiful. A glittery little box for his glittery little spirit.

There was about a week between Pav's death and the funeral. Where was he hanging out in the meantime? Kurt probably kept him in a well-decorated mini-fridge. Or maybe they used a slingshot to send him out into space at relativistic speed, so that he'd land back on Earth without decaying too much.Assuming that's where Pav is, what's Bird Heaven like?I'm not dead or a bird, so I couldn't tell you!

Are you or will you troll again? I'm glad that someone detailed for me exactly what the parameters of trolling are last night.I have had other Twitter accounts in the past; none taken as seriously as this one, and nowhere near the follower account this one generated. I have a new joke character Twitter account going, with a smaller following and a more casually fun tweeting schedule. It has been mistaken as an official Twitter in its franchise once or twice, too, but that impression was almost immediately dispelled by the followers and context. I don't plan on ever publicly linking them to each other, or my future endeavors.

Is the new Twitter account Glee, Darren Criss, or Starkid related? How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? (X)

*******************************************************************

So there you go...another cc trope, forever stricken from the masterpost!

#cc #ccer #cc fandom #crisscolfer #darren criss #free Pavarotti #Debunking cc lies

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moiraineswife · 6 years ago

Text

Exposed - An Ineffable Husbands Fic

i return. bearing the fruit of my brains. it is angst. again. because i’m Predictable. Shout out to the goblin discord squad whom I love and cherish <3 Previous Good Omens fic may be found here!

Title: Exposed

Summary: Aziraphale wakes in the middle of a quiet night’s peaceful meditation to find that the demon he (deliberately) fell asleep next to is no longer there. After some minor panicking, he finds him, and then angst and hurt/comfort ensue. Crowley has chronic pain/wing stress from his Fall. Split POV.

Teaser: They draped his thin frame like a shroud. The shadow black feathers glistened with rain drops that looked for all the world like stars in the night. But their tips dragged on the ground, held at an awkward, unnatural angle, the primary feathers more ragged than was usual.

All at once he looked both holy and profane.

It was as though he had just Fallen, as though Aziraphale was seeing him in the moments after it had happened. Still bathed in the final, fleeting rays of Heaven’s light. Even as he was dragged down into Hell’s darkness. Not truly belonging to either, caught between two worlds, like a fly in a web, suspended forever in time, unable to escape either way.

Link: AO3

Aziraphale slowly returned his mind back to his body. It became aware, as he did so, that it was enveloped in soft warmth, and he instinctively burrowed down into it, like a bird settling into its nest.

He had never quite managed to sleep the way that humans, or indeed, Crowley, did, but...Well, holding Crowley while he fell asleep was very nice.

After a while, he had learned how to do something better than sleeping. He had reasoned that he was lying down, warm, and comfortable, and Crowley wasn’t a very good conversational partner while sleeping (though he did occasionally mumble things, but they were never very distinct, nor very coherent) he may as well try and get some form of rest.

He liked to call it a ‘deep meditative state’. Crowley always snorted at this and said that was just a fancy word for napping.

Aziraphale knew the difference, though, whatever Crowley said.

He lost awareness of his body, as one would when they fell asleep, but he kept awareness and control over his thoughts, unlike the dreamlike state that humans, and his demon, entered into.

It really was rather wonderful. He’d tried to explain this to Crowley. He’d even suggested that he try it for himself to see just how wonderful it was.

Crowley had just looked vaguely horrified and said, firmly, “Angel, the whole point of sleeping is that I don’t have to think about anything while I’m doing it! Maybe you should try that. It’s dead...Refreshing,” he’d added, with a slightly wistful look on his face.

Frankly, Aziraphale thought it was a waste of his time.

Immortal he may be but there was always so much to do that he never managed to fit it in to his days as it was. He had no idea how human beings managed to function, much less be productive, when they were expected to sleep eight hours per day.

No, his few hours of quiet deep meditation were enough for him.

An unexpected little breeze whispered across Aziraphale, and he shivered, burrowing further down into the covers to escape it. Instinctively, he shuffled to his right, seeking Crowley’s natural warmth.

One of the perks of being with a demon – one was never cold. Crowley’s skin always seemed feverish to the touch in its heat, like the hot rocks you got at certain quality spas. Aziraphale had been known to indulge in them from time to time, and they were very pleasant indeed.

To his disappointment, he didn’t shuffle into Crowley.

He stretched out a hand, fumbling blindly through the sea of sheets and pillows and blankets and duvet, reaching for him.

“Crowley,” he mumbled thickly, in what Crowley would have described as a ‘whine’, to which Aziraphale would have corrected that it was more a general noise of displeasure.

He was most indignant either way that his demonic heat-source was being so rude and not making itself easily available.

No response to his noise of displeasure, either.

Frowning, he blinked, and the dark room around him came slowly into focus. He had learned when coming out of his meditative states to do so gradually, so as not to overwhelm his body’s senses.

There now, the dark walls, the luxurious silken black sheets, the abstract paintings on the wall, everything as it should be.

He looked to his right.

An empty space where Crowley should have been was all that stared back at him.

No long, lanky demon frame. No red hair, mussed from sleep. No pale skin so beautifully reflecting the moonlight. No deep, golden eyes, finding Aziraphale’s soul bare upon his skin with every glance.

His heart jumped as though lightning had just punched into it. Familiar flickers of panic, like a thousand tiny hummingbirds spawning in his chest to frantically beat their wings at once, beginning in his chest. Then tightening in his stomach and tying his nerves in knots.

Calm yourself now, dear boy, he thought, firmly.

There was no reason at all to suspect that anything at all was amiss. Crowley could simply have decided that he needed to water the plants. Or that a rerun of his favourite episode of Golden Girls was on and he wanted to watch it. Or that, that he desperately needed a cup of tea.

Aziraphale couldn’t possibly have meditated through an entire, elaborate scenario that involved the vile agents of Hell breaking into their home and resting a terrified, struggling, fighting Crowley from their bed, and kidnapping him away for all kinds of unnatural, inconceivable, unthinkable tortures while Aziraphale was right beside him, surely.

Or could he?

“Damn you and your ridiculous little human notions, Crowley!” he exploded, scrambling out of the bed.

In his state of panic, which had not been appeased in the slightest by his calming, logical thoughts, though they’d been as firm as they could be, he felt he was allowed this minor hypocrisy in the moment.

“I swear I shall never forgive you for this, you stupid old serpent,” he continued, ranting, wringing his hands at thin air like an old maid in the kind of old-fashioned television show Aziraphale rather enjoyed, but would never confess to liking, even under demonic torture1.

Aziraphale had discovered hand-wringing some centuries ago. Perhaps even invented it, he was unsure. Six thousand years of memory was quite a lot to trawl through, especially at a time like this.

Either way, Gabriel would have had a fit if he’d ever seen him doing it. He wouldn’t consider it ‘appropriate’ behaviour for an angel. But, well, blast it, it helped.

Aziraphale paced in a nervous fluster through the flat, following his familiar anxiety path.

Cat, who had been enjoying a midnight snack, followed him with her big, yellow eyes, so painfully like Crowley’s. She gave a soft mew at his obvious distress, but unfortunately shed no particular light on the whereabouts of their favourite demon.

Finally, he returned to the bedroom, and began to do his utmost to wear a hole in the rug as he tramped up and down up and down up and down, as if this would suddenly reveal Crowley.

It didn’t.

A cold wind tickled the back of his neck again, which was the very last thing he needed at this moment in time. Feeling distinctly aggrieved, he angrily looked up in an attempt to locate its source.

Only then did he realise that the window was open.

There were very few windows in Crowley’s flat. He seemed to have a certain aversion to them. Which Aziraphale supposed was understandable, given he was a demon. He’d always had rather sensitive skin, bless him. Likely a side-effect of him being a red-head.

The plant room had some, naturally, but the only other one in the whole flat was in the bedroom. It was set into the ceiling, a huge, beautiful, circular structure. Though it had no right to, given that Crowley lived in a mid-floor flat, it looked right up onto the sky beyond.

At present, there was no glass in it. Aziraphale could feel the ripple of the wind but was shielded, thanks, no doubt, to another little demonic miracle, from the pouring rain outside.

He breathed again.

He didn’t, strictly speaking, need to, but he’d found that his body got rather cross with him if he didn’t at least make an effort every now and then. It started turning blue in various different places, and he got awfully dizzy. Humans were very delicate creatures, really.

Slowly, luxuriously as always, Aziraphale spread his white wings. He was really rather proud of them, he thought, as he flexed the feathers to stretch everything out appropriately. And he did miss being able to have them out whenever he felt like it.

He centred himself beneath the window, crouched slightly, wings flaring- Then he hesitated.

If he was seen...He shuddered, vividly recalling the paperwork nightmare of 1795. He hadn’t emerged for weeks. His hand had cramped for days afterwards. He hadn’t been able to so much as look at a book without it bringing him out in a cold sweat at the memory of all those pages and pages full of cramped handwriting and scrawled signatures.

And people were so much less likely to believe in the supernatural these days. Things had died down alright in 1795 after the required measures had been put in place There were modern cameras about now, and those clever phones like the one Crowley had and-

No.

Hang it.

He didn’t care.

Anyway, it was dark, and they were so high up that no-one would see. If they did, well, he would deal with them. Them and the ensuing paperwork, if that was what it took.

With one powerful down stroke, Aziraphale propelled himself up into the night sky.

It was a strange sensation. Crowley had altered things to allow the sky to filter directly into his window. His body wasn’t entirely aware of this, and struggled to cope with the tunnel of altered reality and the fact that Aziraphale was, strictly speaking, flying through a building.

Reality, however, coped, and Aziraphale endured. He emerged a minute or so later, feeling much as he had when he’d decided to take his first (and last) pleasure cruise on the Titanic back in 1912. And this had been before the whole iceberg calamity.

Crowley had laughed so hard he’d snorted wine through his nose so badly he’d nearly discorporated himself at the idea of an angel getting seasick. Aziraphale had not found the matter nearly so amusing.

He’d almost been glad when the thing had sunk. Hundreds of casualties aside of course.

The rain struck him as soon as he was clear of the building, and he winced. He did so hate getting his wings wet. It was always such a trauma trying to dry out all the feathers properly. And then there was the fact that it just felt awful.

Shuddering, he landed on the roof, a little harder than he’d meant to, feeling distinctly ungainly for an angel. It had been quite a while since he’d done this. It seemed he was rather out of practice. How embarrassing.

Flying was rather like riding a velocipede, one never forgot how. That did not mean one retained their level of competence without sufficient, regular practice, however.

He strained his nightshirt with dignity, then took stock of his surroundings, blinking in slight surprise.

There were dozens of plants dotted around the rooftop in different troughs and tubs, in a very haphazard approximation of a terrace garden. There didn’t seem to be any particular order that he could identify. Yet even in the dark, he could tell that they were well-cared for. They had all been trimmed, and dead-headed, and watered, and fed appropriately. A lot of love had gone into this little place. He could feel it.

At the centre of it all, like the sun in a sea of smaller stars, sat Crowley.

His chest was bare, exposed to the deluge from the Heavens above. Aziaraphale could see his beautiful tattoo. He had never known that he had it until the two of them had become...rather more intimate in the months following the Armageddon that was averted.

It was a stunning thing, truly. A rippling black watercolour reflection of star spattered sky above them. The cosmos carved out in ink upon the skin of its creator. A beautiful, haunting echo to how it all began.

Through it all, the serpent swam. It would have been invisible, but it was of a darker black than the night around it.

Like the wings that spilled from Crowley’s back.

They were even more breathtaking than the tattoo. A different form of art, to be sure, but no less exquisitely wrought.

They draped his thin frame like a shroud. The shadow black feathers glistened with rain drops that looked for all the world like stars in the night. But their tips dragged on the ground, held at an awkward, unnatural angle, the primary feathers more ragged than was usual.

All at once he looked both holy and profane.

Something in Aziarpahle’s chest caught looking at him, as though he too had been snared by some trap.

For all they had done together, for all they had shared in more than six thousand years, for all the intimacy between them now, Aziraphale had never seen Crowley quite as vulnerable as he appeared now.

It felt as though he was intruding on something deeply private. Something that should never be witnessed by another. Like a confession. A confession that revealed the barest parts of another’s soul.

Rain continued to fall between them like a veil. So thin he could see him, could smell him, could taste him...But could never quite reach him.

Aziaraphle stared, swaying slightly in place, hypnotised by the scene before him.

For all he moved, Crowley might have been a statue. Carved from marble and obsidian, a study of the Fallen, and the weight they bore.

Dear Atlas carried the world upon his shoulders.

His dear Crowley seemed to hold the Heavens upon his back, in more than ink and skin. He was still crushed, Aziraphale knew, by the weight of promises that had been made, and lost. By things that had been taken, and the knowledge that they would never be returned.

Aziraphale jerked himself from his indulgent thoughts. They didn’t do Crowley any good, and that had to be his focus right now.

Crowley.

How he would hate those thoughts. As he would hate anyone, even Aziraphale, seeing him in this state.

He had worked so hard for years to cultivate his show of aloofness, to act as though he cared for little, and loved even less.

But it wasn’t true.

Angels were beings of love, it was often said. He could sense it. But Crowley? Crowley felt it. Truly felt it. And it was both his destruction and his salvation. He needed it, but he feared so much that anyone would see it, because in his world, all they would ever see was weakness, and targets.

Aziraphale had never considered himself as particularly strong – in any sense of that word.

As he’d admitted to himself after his conversation with Gabriel in St James’ park, he was soft.

His soft, bleeding heart had given away his god-granted sword for pity’s sake. His soft will had let him succumb to base mortal pleasures.. His soft moral compass had permitted Crowley to tempt him into the Arrangement.

Aziraphale was just soft.

But for Crowley, for this being he loved with everything he was, and everything he might ever be, holy or profane, angel or demon, whole or in pieces...For Crowley, though it went against every instinct he had and felt as though his soul was being dragged over hot coals, he would do this to spare him any further pain.

He turned to slip back inside the flat, hating himself for every step, even as he loved Crowley with them.

He would go back inside, drop down to the back, walk around the front and return via the main entrance. Then he would wait. Draw a bath, perhaps, though he didn’t want to make it obvious that he was concerned or fussing, for then Crowley would know that he knew that there was something to fuss about, and he wouldn’t want that.

But he would wait. He would be ready. Whenever Crowley was. In six days, or six months, or another six thousand years, he would be ready for him, and then-

“Angel?”

Crowley’s voice was a hoarse rasp, but it was distinct enough.

It carried through the quiet night air like a scream, with only the soft static of the rain to disturb it.

Aziraphale froze. Then he turned slowly back. If he had made this worse, if he had ruined it all-

Crowley still hadn’t moved a muscle, but he spoke again. His words were so faint they were almost stolen by the wind that rose around them. Except for the fact that Aziraphale clung to them the way a holy man might cling to his prayer beads in the middle of, say, Armageddon.

“It’s okay,” Crowley mumbled quietly, “Y’don’t have to leave if you don’t want to.”

The words slurred together a little, most likely from pain.

It was the cruellest kind of pain, he knew, though he had never tasted it himself. An echo of wounds six thousand years old. A phantom Aziarpahle’s magic, though holy, could not banish.

His heart ached for him. And, not for the first time, a flicker of anger stirred to life within him.

“I just mean you can,” Crowley added, giving a tiny half-glance in Aziraphale’s direction.

He noticed then that his demon was shaking. From cold or pain, he couldn’t tell.

“S’a free country ‘n all that,” Crowley mumbled vaguely. “But m’ point is...You don’t have to leave. You can...You can stay. If you like.”

Aziraphale softened.

He knew Crowley well enough by now, he should think, to know that ‘you can stay’ meant ‘please don’t leave’.

“I would like to,” Aziraphale murmured as he moved in closer.

Tentatively, he knelt down at Crowley’s back and eased his arms around him. Crowley let out a tiny whimper and melted against him. Aziraphale braced himself against the rain damp tiles and held Crowley close, pressing his forehead to the seam between his wings.

“You’re freezing cold,” he admonished, concern leaking into his words, but no harshness. He had seen too much of that already.

“’M a demon,” Crowley grunted back, “We don’t get cold. Hellfire in our veins and...Stuff.”

“Well you are,” Aziraphale said, firmly, drawing him in even closer, instincts flaring, the desire to protect, to shelter, to save overwhelming.

Crowley didn’t protest.

With a soft exhale, Aziraphale extended his own wings, stark white against Crowley’s inky black, and draped them gently around the pair of them. The rain pattered mockingly against them, but in the moment, he couldn’t care less about that.

Crowley shuddered slightly and pressed himself deeper into Aziraphale’s soft embrace. Aziraphale closed his eyes and breathed him in. For a long while he simply held him in the rain, and the world was blessedly quiet as the stars turned overhead.

Finally, Aziraphale croaked, voice shaking just a little, which he thought was quite the achievement, considering “Is it your wings? The pain?”

Crowley shook his head.

Aziraphale raised his, surprised, and felt Crowley shift slightly beneath him. Uncomfortable at the reaction, or at the simple loss of contact, he couldn’t be sure.

“I mean, they hurt,” he clarified, bluntly, “But it’s not the pain...Not just the pain. I know pain. I can deal with it, it’s-” His voice broke and he shook his head, trembling more tangibly in his angel’s arms.

Aziraphale stroked his fingers tenderly along the arc of Crowley’s spine. Up and down, up and down, in a slow, soothing rhythm, like breathing, seeking to calm him.

Finally, he managed to choke out, “I miss it, ‘Ziraphale. I miss it.”

The agony was so obviously etched into this last words that Aziraphale nearly flinched from it.

Crowley shivered in Aziraphale’s arms, and the angel stroked his back, hands running so delicately over his tattooed skin.

“D’you know why I like to sleep so much, angel?” Crowley managed to get out at last.

This was an unexpected follow-up, to say the least, but Aziraphale simply said, gently, “Tell me.”

“I dream,” Crowley whispered, “And when I dream...I fly again.”

Aziraphale closed his eyes, unable to stop himself instinctively pulling Crowley in more tightly. As though he could shelter him from this grief as he sheltered him from the rain.

It was cruel, what they had done to him. So cruel sometimes it was all Aziraphale could do not to find himself that flaming sword and storm the whole of Heaven with it, blasphemy be damned.

***

“Every time, Aziraphale. Every time,” Crowley rasped.

He swallowed with difficulty past the lump in his throat and let his head hang on his neck, limp and pathetic, like an old child’s doll that had been so thoroughly abused, it couldn’t exist without its saviour and breaker.

It had taken a while, and a lot of talking to humans, before he’d realised they didn’t see the same thing over and over and over again every time they fell asleep.

Well. Some of them did. Some of them had nightmares.

That had terrified Crowley. The idea that Hell could reach him the only time he ever felt truly safe, the only time he knew any real peace anymore.

It had never happened.

Every time he dreamed, he flew over Eden. His wings were strong, and beautiful, and whole. The black feathers rippled like black glass in the sun as they caught updrafts and sent him endlessly through the interminable vista of rolling clouds and soaring winds.

Sometimes, in the distance, he could make out Aziraphale standing sentinel on the Eastern wall.

He never joined him in the air, though. The skies were his, and his alone.

He was safe. He was happy. He was free.

At least until he woke up.

“She does it,” he said now.

He tried not to let his voice shake but...what was the point? He was only here with Aziraphale, and all his ghosts, and they had both seen far worse from him then a tremor on his tongue.

“I know she does it. I don’t know why. She never talks to me anymore.” And why would she? “But...She does this.”

Aziraphale’s grip on him was so tight it was painful. It felt good. It felt grounding. Crowley was afraid he might be torn away by the rain storm without him. A stray feather in a hurricane. Insignificant. Helpless. Forgotten.

“I don’t know if it’s to punish me, to remind me of what I lost, what She took,” he couldn’t help the edge of bitterness that crept into that last word.

It was like a thief in the night. Unwanted, unwelcome, and invasive. But ultimately, that didn’t matter. It came anyway.

Six thousand years. Six thousand years since he’d Fallen. He should have been over it by now. He should have been over it centuries ago. Millennia, really. But he wasn’t.

“I don’t know if, maybe, it’s Her letting me remember it, letting me live it again. Just a bit. If maybe...Maybe it’s the only bit of forgiveness that She can give me.”

He sagged in Aziraphale’s arms at that, ashamed. Ashamed that he could still hope, could still believe She might still care about him. After everything he’d been through, the Fall, Hell, the torments they offered up down there, Her relentless silence, after everything She’d done to him, he should know better. He should have learned.

There was nothing left to have faith in anymore.

Crowley took a breath as the wind stirred up again and rippled through his feathers, making them tingle. He could still feel his wings. Some days he could feel entirely too much of them. He could still move them, still have them respond to him but...He couldn’t fly.

He had tried. He had tried a lot, especially those first few centuries, and every thousand years or so since. It had been excruciating. He’d told himself if he just pushed a little bit harder he could make it happen, could make them stronger, could fly again. All he’d gotten for his pain was near discorporation and a very strong letter full of expletives from Below.

“I like it out here,” he found himself muttering, conscious of Aziraphale’s patient embrace, “’Specially when it rains. Being up here, under the stars, with the wind, and the rain, and the peace...It’s the closest I can get to flying anymore.”

He felt pathetic admitting that. His deepest secret. His ultimate weakness, laid bare. Like the shiny metal covers they put on food at the Ritz, whipped off to reveal his soul, exposed beneath.

“If I could,” aziraphale breathed behind him, soft as a blasphemy whispered in a church2, “I would give you mine.”

“Aziraphale,” he croaked, starting with surprise in his arms.

He’d have been less shocked if the angel had blasphemed in church, had cursed out God in every language known to humankind (and the few they hadn’t discovered yet), and told her he quit3.

An angel’s wings were near holy. It was a miracle (not truly, but sometimes that human turn of phrase was all that would do) that they were sheltering Crowley and not destroying him.

An angel’s wings were everything to them. Their pride, the overwhelming symbol that set them apart from demons, from humanity, from everything. And Aziraphale’s...They were perfect. Just perfect. To give them up, to even consider it...

“You shouldn’t say stuff like that,” he mumbled, “You’re an angel. It’s practically lying.”

“I mean it,” Aziraphale said, so sincerely, he might have been reciting scripture.

Crowley jerked in shock.

“What?”

Aziraphale shifted faster than Crowley could follow. In a heartbeat he was before him, kneeling as though he were an altar the angel had been made to give worship at. It was profane, the very thought of an angel on his knees before him and-

“I mean it, Crowley,” Aziraphale repeated, fiercely, and every other thought was wiped from his mind.

Aziraphale reached up and cradled Crowley’s face firmly between his soft hands.

“If I had to carve them from my own back, if I had to pull them apart a feather at a time, I would do it. For you.”

Crowley recoiled, shaking his head uncontrollably. The very idea was repulsive, unbearable.

Aziraphale didn’t understand what he was saying, what he would lose, the pain of it. He’d had his wings six thousand years longer than Crowley had. To lose them now…

“It would destroy you,” he breathed, hoarsely.

Unconsciously, he lifted a hand and grazed the tips of his fingers slowly, reverently, along the top crest of his angel’s beautiful white wing.

“It’s destroying you,” Aziraphale whispered back, catching Crowley’s hand and intertwining their fingers

Demons were supposed to be selfish creatures who cared only for their own interests, who took whatever they wanted, regardless of what it cost anyone, or anything, else. But he couldn’t even contemplate doing something like this. Not to Aziraphale.

Crowley was weak. All of Hell said so. They had for years, behind his back, like he didn’t know.

He didn’t particularly give a shit anymore.

“I would never let you,” he choked out, shaking his head violently, as though to rid it of the thought.

The look on Aziraphale’s face in that moment could have been used to define love for the first time in history.

“Which is why I would do it,” he breathed reverently. “Without hesitation.”

He leaned forwards and gently touched his forehead to Crowley’s. Crowley closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, to the cool comfort of his angel. Who was insane. Completely, and utterly, insane because Crowley knew he meant it. Every word.

Angel’s could sense love. Demons could feel truth. It kind of went with the territory of the whole drawing up contracts, making demonic pacts, sealing ancient bargains, and that kind of thing.

But in the same way that angel’s didn’t spend their entire life being bombarded by every human’s love for peanut butter, or mystery novels, or Queen - he could only feel deep, raw, truth. The kind that was so sincere it left a mark upon the soul.

Crowley knew every word that had just come from the angel’s lips was like gospel to him.

With a slow, gentle movement, Aziraphale wrapped his wings tenderly around Crowley, then pulled him in close, as close as they could be while remaining separate entities.

All at once, he was enveloped in a soft, feathery cocoon, breathing in the smell of old books, and leather, and some kind of spicy fragrance Aziraphale had been favouring for centuries that he’d never been able to exactly identify.

After a long time spent cradled up in angel, his fingers carding soothingly through Crowley’s hair, he heard Aziraphale speak again, very softly.

“I, I could take you, if you wanted. Now. I could, I could carry you while I flew and…” He sounded so hesitant, as though one wrong word would send Crowley skittering away from him like a nervous animal. “I know that it wouldn’t be same, perhaps not even close, but...But we could try? If you wanted?”

Crowley’s face crumpled with emotion, but when he withdrew enough for Aziraphale to see him, all that was left was a wry smirk.

“Isn’t that against the angel’s code of conduct?” he said, “Heaven’s Flyway Code: no exceeding 30mph, no overhead-taking, no flying under the influence, and absolutely no being seen by humans?”

To say nothing of taking demons with you. If that wasn’t already part of the code, he could practically hear Gabriel squeaking up in Heaven and barking at Michael to get it added immediately.

He felt that it wouldn’t really be necessary to point out that they happened to be in the most densely populated city in the UK. Even with miracles, it would be a risky thing to attempt even in the countryside.

Then again, he never thought he would have to remind Aizraphale of anything even remotely resembling a rule. ‘Fussy stickler’ was definitely near the top of the list of ‘most frequently used phrases to describe the Principality Aziraphale’.

“I’m serious, Crowley,” Aziraphale said, quietly.

He reached out and cupped Crowley’s cheek in a hand, the pad of his thumb lightly tracing the arc of his cheekbone, “I want to help you, my dear.”

Crowley covered Aziraphale’s hand with his own and squeezed gently, “If you’re seen- If they catch you-“

“I shall cross that bridge if we come to it,” he cut in, firmly.

“Aziraphale-” Crowley began.

“Please,” the angel interrupted, a slight quaver in his voice.

Crowley arched up on his knees and gently kissed the top of Aziraphale’s head, breathing him in. Sweet, naive, foolish angel, even after all this time.

“There are some things you can’t fix, angel,” he said, quietly, fingers threading through Aziraphale’s thick white hair. “No matter how hard you try. No matter how badly you want to. Some things are just broken.”

“You are not broken!” Aziraphale burst out indignantly.

Crowley hesitated for a fraction of a second. In truth, he was. But not because of this.

“No,” he agreed, slowly, “But these are.”

He gestured over his shoulder as he gave his wings a slight flex which stoked the burning pain in them to a sharp flare before settling again into their familiar dull ache.

With a sad smile he said, quietly, “You can’t catch me, angel. I’ve already Fallen.”

Aziraphale slid a finger under Crowley’s chin and tilted his head up until their eyes met. He brushed his mouth tenderly against Crowley’s lips, gentle as the kiss of a feather on the wind, and breathed, “that’s no reason to keep me from lifting you up again, Crowley.”

In his mouth, his name sounded almost like that of an angel.

For the first time since he had held him, Crowley looked past Aziraphale. He looked past the bright blue eyes, full of empathy and the need to help. He looked past the beautiful white wings, now glowing faintly in the moonlight, perfect, not a feather out of place, forming a halo around his soft form.

He looked out to the stars he had crafted from the darkness. The rain continued to fall around them, but the clouds where he looked had faded. The sky was clear, and he could see the stars beyond, beckoning him home.

He closed his eyes and breathed it in.

The wind ran its fingers through his feathers the way Aziraphale might when welcoming him back after he’d been gone too long.

The air was cold, but it felt good against his burning skin.

His imagination carried him and he soared over the city. He imagined what it would look like from so high up, all little lights, and square buildings, and long narrow streets. The feeling of testing himself in those narrow streets, weaving between those buildings, racing around tight corners. It was exhilarating.

The fierce wind was nearly ripping feathers from his wings. The rain was like bullets against his skin, nearly blinding him.

Aziraphale’s arms were around him, making sure he didn’t fall.

The fantasy shattered.

All he could see now was Aziraphale cradling him, like a child, his wings dragging uselessly behind him, utterly dependent on another to carry him and care for him in the skies that used to be his.

He couldn’t feel the wonder, the joy, the freedom anymore. All he could taste was bitterness, and resentment, and humiliation.

It was a stupid reason not to try, to further deny himself something that had been taken from him for six thousand years but...He couldn’t. He couldn’t stand it.

“No,” he said, shakily, “No I, I can’t. Not now. Not-“ He swallowed with difficulty and added, pathetically, “I’m not ready.”

“I understand,” Aziraphale said, gently, softly stroking his hair again.

Crowley was pretty sure he didn’t understand at all. But he was so grateful the angel wasn’t pushing him, or using that limitless reason and logic to explain at the moment why they should at least make a go of it.

He couldn’t face trying to put the tangled web of his emotions into words right now. Not like this. Aziraphale at least seemed to understand that, damn him.

The angel wrapped his wings around him again, but more loosely this time. Stroking his fingers through Crowley’s hair he said, quietly, “What do you need? Tell me what I can do for you. Anything. Anything at all.”

“Just don’t leave me,” Crowley mumbled. The words were out before he could stop them, and he felt utterly pathetic saying them, but there was no helping that now.

“Oh, thank you,” Aziraphale whispered into Crowley’s hair, more said to himself. “I couldn’t bear to be on my own without you just now,” he admitted, and Crowley found himself pulling the angel in closer, no longer feeling weak or useless, only grateful.

Gently, Aziraphale began massaging Crowley’s wings, clever fingers finding and loosening the knots in the muscles. It didn’t take away the pain, but it helped.

“Is this alright?” Aziraphale asked, softly, “May I continue?”

In answer, Crowley sagged against him, mashed his face against Aziraphale’s neck (in a comforting way), and managed to groan out an incoherent but enthusiastic, “Uh-huh,” against his skin.

There was a faint smile beneath his disapproval when he said, “You see, if you’d just come to me first and skipped all of these dramatics, wouldn’t that have been better?”

Crowley growled indignantly.

This was somewhat undercut by the soft moan of relief that escaped him around the same time.

“You were napping,” he mumbled, thickly.

In a very bloody disconcerting way, he didn’t add, eyes wide open, staring straight ahead. Would have given humans nightmares for years.

Aziraphale huffed with irritation, as expected, “Actually, I’ll have you know that I was engaged in a deep meditational study concerning the evolution of symbolism and theme throughout the life’s works of William Shakespeare. I was not napping, as you so crudely put it.”

“Were,” Crowley muttered petulantly under his breath.

Aziraphale dug his fingers into a particularly tight knot and Crowley yelped in protest.

While he frowned up at him with wounded indignation, the angel said, angelically, “So sorry, dear boy.”

Still scowling, Crowley slumped gracelessly back into his original position.

“Regardless,” Aziraphale went on, voice softening, “What I was doing is irrelevant. You will always take priority, Crowley, whatever I might be doing. I need you to know that.”

“You’ve gone soft in your old age, angel.”

“And I’ll make no apology for that,” he replied, calmly, gently kneading a particularly tender spot as he did so. “And we’re ageless, dear,” he added, placidly, “I cannot be old. Nor can I be young. I simply am.”

“Simply insufferable,” Crowley muttered.

“Crowley,” Aziraphale said, in his serious ‘stop deflecting or I’ll be nice to your plants again’ angel voice which meant he had to listen to him, “I love you,” he said, firmly,” And I will keep pestering you with that knowledge until the end of time if that’s what it takes to make you accept-“

“I do, I do accept it,” Crowley interrupted irritably, pawing at Aziraphale’s hands in an attempt to get him to skip the lecture and resume his soothing massage.

“Until you accept that you deserve it,” Aziraphale pressed on.

Blessed angel really was insufferable, Crowley thought, ignoring the sudden lump in his throat. All good, and noble, and decent.

He couldn’t find a proper answer with words, so he arched up, ignoring the painful tightness in his back, and kissed Aziraphale full on the mouth.

The angel recoiled from the shock of it for a heartbeat, then melted into him, smiling against his lips, hands gentle on his waist.

Crowley leaned into his upwards momentum and shifted into his serpent form, coiling endlessly around Aziraphale until his entire weight was supported by the other.

“Take me back inssside, angel,” he hissed softly, nuzzling affectionately against Aziraphale’s neck.

“Oh, well, my wish is your command, sir Crowley,” Aziraphale grumbled at this issuing of orders, but without any real heat or rancour.

The angel miracled them both back inside with a blink and let out a small sigh, shaking out his wings and spattering every surface in a ten foot radius with water droplets.

Crowley knew how much Aziraphale hated getting his wings wet.

He gave him a little squeeze and said, “Run usss a bath, angel. I’ll make it up to you.”

“There’s absolutely nothing to make up for, my dear,” the angel insisted, obstinately, all the while continuing to drip mournfully onto the carpet.

Crowley growled impatiently and slithered around him until they were nose to nose.

“Aziraphale.”

“No!” the angel said, “Not while you’re this sore, it’s utterly unfair, I won’t even-“

Crowley squeezed until Aziraphale cut off with a look that very plainly said ‘really, darling?’

“Aziraphale,” he repeated, in his best ‘agree with me or I’ll miracle inappropriate typos into all your favourite books again’ demon voice. “Let me take care of you, too. Pleassse,” he wheedled.

“Oh, very well,” Aziraphale said, throwing up his hands dramatically as he did so, “You wily old serpent, you,” he added, fondly, gently kissing Crowley’s snout.

Crowley wriggled away from him with an indignant hiss, “I am an apex predator,” he informed Aziraphale, tartly, as the angel carried him to the bath he had just miracled into existence for them.

“Of course you are, dear,” the angel replied, not at all patronisingly.

“I could eat you for breakfast,” Crowley persisted, rearing up a little as he said it to add to the threatening effect of his words.

“I rather hope you will,” Aziraphale replied evenly, without missing a beat.

Somehow, Crowley’s snake form blushed.

They continued to bicker throughout the bath, in which Crowley carefully washed and groomed Aziraphale’s wings to rid them of the rain damage. And afterwards, as Crowley dried Aziraphale’s wings, then the angel carried him back to the bedroom, where he stretched luxuriously on the bed.

Then he nestled against his angel, coiling around him in heavy black and red folds, still in his snake form. Aziraphale settled back against the pillows, a book already miracled to him on his chest of drawers for when Crowley drifted off.

The tips of his fingers traced soothing patterns over Crowley’s scales, bleeding the last few vestiges of tension from his body.

Just before he fell asleep, head pillowed against Aziraphale’s soft stomach, Crowley found that, perhaps, there was still something left to have faith in after all.

******************************************************************************

Footnotes:

1- Crowley had tried. The wily demon had taken him unawares, striking him when he’d least expected it, in spots he was most vulnerable, tickling mercilessly, but to no avail.

2- As if Aziraphale would ever even dream of doing such a thing.

3- Crowley didn’t know if it was strictly possible to quit from being an angel. The same way it wasn’t really possible for a cow to quit from being a cow. Or for a table to request a transfer to be a chair instead.

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