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eicsferrari · 3 days ago
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so high school - cl16
pairing: charles leclerc x princess!yn
requested: yes♡
a/n: sorry for the delay i had this on my drafts almost finished and then i got sick :( but i hope it's what you had in mind <3 since i'm a political science girlie i had to use the aristotle line but i couldn't find a good picture so...close enough ig
masterlist
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yourusername sweet elegance
♥︎liked by charlesleclerc & others
username my god i would kill for her face
username girl we need your skin care routine!
username nvm i probably can't afford it but you are glowing🫶🏼
username royal by birth, majestic by choice
username what is that vroom vroom man doing here?
username idk he's always lurking in those likes
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yourusername monaco race
♥︎liked by alex_albon & others
charles_leclerc an honor to have you👑
yourusername thank you! and congrats on your win💘
username the heart !! someone check if he's still breathing
carlossainz55 he is (barely) ♥︎liked by yourusername
georgerussell63 hope you enjoyed it!
yourusername i did🎀 thank you georgie boy
oscarpiastri lovely to meet you🧡
yourusername you too osc! good job on p2💪
username see how there's no heart with the other drivers,,,, thinking thoughts
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yourusername cheeks pink in the twinkling lights
♥︎liked by pierregasly & others
username who is sending my wife flowers? who do i have to fight?
username THE NOTE romance is not dead🥺
username 'anything for you princess' my knees are suddenly weak
username and if i say this is from a certain someone...
username spill what you know
username i know nothing 🙏 but i have my suspicions 🤫
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yourusername truth dare spin bottles
♥︎liked by gabrielbortoleto_ & others
username ma'am that's a man!
username the question is WHO is that man?
iamrebeccad 😍😍 ♥︎liked by yourusername
yourusername my loveee
username we keep getting people from f1 here, do we think she's soft launching a driver?
username nah maybe they just met her at monaco and became friends, no need to read too much into it
username goddess🛐🛐
username this is gonna sound weird but i never thought about yn dating
username did you think she was going to have some marriage of convenience like the old days?
username i mean,,, yes? i watched the princess diaries 2
username i-
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yourusername are you gonna marry kiss or kill me
♥︎liked by lewishamilton & others
username she's getting bolder with these posts
username cmon princess tag him don't be shy
username so unclassy, as a princess she should know better
username gtfo and get a life
username not to be weird on the internet but they are hot
username you haven't seen his face
username i don't need to, the vibe they give off is hot
username you are so real
username me and who
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yourusername you know how to (ball) i know (aristotle)
♥︎liked by maxverstappen1 & others
username reading plato? we love an educated queen
username i know monarchy doesn't rule anymore but it's kinda obvious she would have to read the classics
username real question: do you think the political leaders of some countries have read plato? or any book for that matter?
username ...touche
username guess we can rule out any sport that involves a ball bc that man has no ability for football AT ALL
yourusername don't bully him:( i still love him
username she loves him🥺🥺
username i'm obsessed with the concept of princess yn soft launching
username she's everything he's just ken
username i know that middle picture all too well
username spill the beans taylor swift
username no, i'll let them do it
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charles_leclerc full throttle
tagged yourusername
♥︎liked by francocolapinto & others
username WE GOT A HARD LAUNCH
username i mean... we always said he looked like a prince ♥︎liked by yourusername
yourusername i love youuu
charles_leclerc i love you more❤️
yourusername not possible💌
username i can't with their cuteness
yourusername also, for those of you wondering about that last picture, i asked him to describe in extreme detail the first time he saw me🫶🏼
username me as a girlfriend fr
username this is so real lol good to know that even if you are a princess you are still just a girl, standing in front of a guy, asking him to tell her everything about how he fell in love with her
username can't believe he actually pulled it off ... respect
username i called it💋
yourusername thank you for keeping it quiet babe🫶🏼
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yourusername i wanna find u in a crowd just to hide from you
♥︎liked by olliebearman & others
lando that seems,, pointless
yourusername it's a lyrics silly
lando ik your highness i love taylor swift too
yourusername lando we're friends, we did karaoke last night and you heard me miss every note. stop calling me your highness
lando as you wish princess🙇
yourusername 🤦‍♀️
username yes yes you're happy and in love we get it
username princess wag and prince driver oh the wattpad girlies are gonna eat this up
charlesleclerc and i feel like laughing in the middle of practice
georgerussell63 too many so high school references for my taste considering we all played gta at the hotel the other day
yourusername 🙊🙊
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yourusername no one's ever had me not like you
♥︎liked by kimi.antonelli & others
username this called me single in eight different languages
username the concept of her relating to so high school bc all her life was full of responsibilities and she never got to be young and normal but now he's making her feel giddy and like a teenager oh yn in love you are so special to me
username hope you know you made me cry
username this is so cute i wished romantic relationships were real
charles_leclerc i love you marry me❤️
yn love you always yes❤️
iamrebeccad charles you can't ask that by instagram omg
charles_leclerc i didn't!!
yn he did't!! it was at the beach and everything was so romantic🫶🏼
iamrebeccad YOU GUYS ARE ENGAGED AAA A A A AA
carlossainz55 congrats guys! but i'm confused, we had to see every part of your relationship so far yet we hear of this on a comment?????
yn what can i say we are quirky like that☺️
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charlesleclerc posted a story
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caption: she said yes💍
yourusername replied to your story
↪ yourusername and i always will🤍
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yourusername you know what you wanted and boy you got her
tagged charlesleclerc
♥︎liked by taylorswift & others
charlesleclerc you already know babe❤️
username @ god when will it be me
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Taglist: @justaf1girl @anamiad00msday @formoola1fan @2bormaybenot @searecs @rana030 @multifantasic70 @yourmommyagone22
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cadelinhadaromanoff · 3 days ago
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𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 | 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟑
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Sumary: When Natasha finds herself missing your presence, she realizes just how much her life has changed. What once felt like an afterthought now feels essential. She never imagined how much she’d come to need you, and how much better life is with you by her side.
Paring: Natasha Romanoff x Reader, Natasha Romanoff x Platonic!Avengers
Word count: 7410
Warnings: A very soft Natasha, bad Mood, Dry jokes, saudades. +18 content.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
Author’s Notes: Part three is finally out!! Thanks for all the love you guys are sending to this work. Feel free to send me an ask so we can talk about our mini family—please do, I’m dying for this 😭😭😭
゛ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 𓂃𓈒𓏸 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ᥫ᭡ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ༝ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ˚₊ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 🍼 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ୨♡୧ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ᡣ𐭩 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ꩜ ₊ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ✧    ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ˚   ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა ‎ ‎ ‎ ₊ㅤ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ୨୧ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ⁺     ˳    ⸝⸝⸝♡  ⁺  ୨୧   ₊    ˚₊
There were worse things than waking up happy. Natasha just wasn’t used to this version of it—the soft kind. The kind that came in slowly, quietly, like sunlight slipping through half-drawn curtains. It didn’t blaze or demand. It settled.
You’d already come and gone that morning—something about Stark needing a schematic review—but you’d left behind your usual trail of affection: still-warm coffee in the red mug she always pretended wasn’t hers, a brown paper bag with her favorite pastry, and the faintest trace of your perfume clinging to the pillow beside hers. She didn’t need any of it. She wasn’t the kind of woman who needed. But damn if it didn’t make her want more.
Ana was still asleep in her little bed across the room, curled under the corner of Natasha’s old hoodie, breathing soft and even. Natasha sat at the table barefoot, coffee in hand, half-smiling to herself without realizing it. This wasn’t a fairytale. It was better. It was real.
You hadn’t said anything official, neither had she. But somewhere between the flowers once a week and the lazy mornings on her couch with your head in her lap, something had clicked into place. A silent agreement. You were hers. She was yours. And neither of you were going anywhere.
You were at her apartment almost every day now. Sometimes just to nap. Sometimes just to exist in the same space. But most nights, after Ana was asleep, it turned into something more—long, drawn-out kisses on the couch, tangled limbs in the low glow of the TV, your mouth on her skin like you were trying to learn her by heart. Natasha didn’t let many people get close. But you didn’t try to break her walls down. You just made her feel safe enough to lower them on her own.
There were still moments when it hit her hard. When she’d glance across the room and see you with Ana—sharing snacks, playing with puzzle pieces, carrying her on your hip like she belonged there—and Natasha’s chest would tighten in a way that almost hurt. Because this wasn’t a dream. This was real. And somehow, it was hers.
She’d never imagined she’d get this. Not the child. Not the quiet mornings. Not you. And yet, here she was. Drinking her favorite coffee, in her apartment that didn’t feel lonely anymore, with the sound of her daughter breathing peacefully in the background and the ghost of your kiss still lingering on her lips.
Natasha Romanoff, international spy, ex-assassin, former Avenger… was in love.
And for once in her life, it wasn’t complicated. It was just right.
Natasha had never planned on falling in love. Especially not with someone younger. Much younger.
She told herself that in the beginning. Repeated it like a prayer, like a defense: you were twenty-three. Brilliant. Reckless. Overflowing with the kind of fire she thought only existed in people who hadn’t been broken yet. And yet—you chose her. You chose them.
You stayed. Through all the chaos. Through Ana’s tantrums and midnight wake-ups. Through Natasha’s silences, her scars, her tendency to shut down instead of open up. You brought flowers when she was having a bad week and didn’t want to say it out loud. You brought chocolate when Ana was teething and neither of them had slept in two days. You brought yourself—unapologetically, completely.
The first time you left, Natasha barely flinched.
Three days. That was the length of your mission. A simple extraction, routine enough that even Fury hadn’t been concerned. She hadn’t made a big deal of it—kissed your temple before you left and made some half-hearted joke about bringing her back something interesting. And that was it. She’d spent the first evening watching cartoons with Ana curled up on her chest, the second one organizing files in the quiet of her room, and by the third morning, you were back, carrying pastries and that tired grin you always wore when you pushed yourself too far.
She remembered thinking it was fine. She didn’t miss you. Not really. Not in any way that was abnormal.
But then it happened again.
A month later, another three-day mission. Longer distance this time. Minimal contact. She told herself it wasn’t a big deal again. She’d survived years without attachment—three days without you shouldn’t even register. And yet…
This time, there was a shift.
Nothing dramatic. Nothing worth naming. But the silence felt heavier at night. She lingered longer by her phone, her thumb hovering over your name more often. She still had Ana—her anchor in everything—but there was an odd, persistent restlessness underneath her skin. She snapped at the coffee machine one morning when it jammed. She cursed a little louder when she stubbed her toe. Nothing big. Not enough to call it anything.
She didn’t realize it for what it was. Not then.
She thought she was just tired. She told herself she’d been too used to sharing space with you, that maybe you’d spoiled her by being around so much. That was all. Nothing serious.
But then came the third time.
Present day. And this time?
It was bad.
You were gone. Again. And everything felt off. Off-kilter. Wrong. The apartment felt colder, and Ana—sweet Ana—was crankier than usual, refusing naps, pushing her food around on her plate, clearly missing you in her own small way. Natasha tried to hold it together, but this time it wasn’t just silence—it was absence. It was the absence of your coffee cup in the sink. The lack of your music humming from the bathroom. No sarcastic quip about her black ops hoodie or shared glances over Ana’s head when she did something ridiculous.
Natasha was fraying. Worse—she knew it.
And she hated that awareness.
She tried to channel the frustration into something useful. Clint had agreed to run combat drills with a new batch of recruits, and Natasha threw herself into it with the kind of sharp, violent precision she hadn’t leaned on in years.
She didn’t hold back.
The gym floor was already slick with sweat, and the sound of fists hitting pads echoed like thunder between the high ceilings. The new recruits—bright-eyed, fully trained, and supposedly ready for fieldwork—were scattered across the mats like a massacre had just taken place. Natasha paced in front of them like a wolf in black leggings, half-sane from too many hours of sleep deprivation and too few texts from you.
“Again,” she ordered flatly, and a collective groan rose from the group.
One of the girls—Elena, maybe? Or Eliza? Natasha didn’t bother remembering—wobbled to her feet and tried to correct her stance.
“You’re favoring your left. You do that on a mission, you’ll lose a kneecap.”
“I—uh—okay, Agent Romanoff.”
“‘Okay’ isn’t gonna regrow your kneecap, sweetheart.”
Clint snorted from the corner, arms crossed, chewing on a protein bar like this was the best entertainment he’d had all week.
“You know,” he said casually, “some people call this mentoring.”
Natasha arched an eyebrow, looking entirely unimpressed. “Some people have standards.”
Clint raised his hands in surrender. “Hey, no judgment. I just don’t think Stark’s daughter would’ve survived your version of boot camp.”
“She wouldn’t have whined this much,” Natasha shot back, already circling the next recruit—tall, cocky, abs for days, too much gel in his hair. She jabbed at his shoulder with two fingers. “You flinch like that again, and I’m gonna have Steve run you through shield drills until you cry.”
“I—I’m not flinching.”
Natasha stared him down. “You blinked when I said ‘Steve.’ That counts.”
Clint laughed outright now, leaning against the wall. “You’ve been extra scary lately, Nat. Should I be worried?”
“Just bored,” she muttered, even though they both knew that wasn’t the truth.
“Bored?” Clint raised a brow. “This is your version of bored? I can’t wait to see what happens when you’re in a bad mood.”
She shot him a dark look that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Keep talking and I’ll put you on the mat.”
“Oh no, anything but that,” he said, hand on his heart, mock-fear in his voice. “Whatever will I do if my bestie breaks my spine in front of Gen Z?”
“Don’t flatter yourself, Barton. I’d let one of them do it.”
One of the recruits whispered, “We can hear you,” and Natasha turned just enough to give them a slow, feral grin.
“Good. Maybe it’ll motivate you.”
They looked like they wanted to cry, She didn’t care.
Because if she stopped moving, stopped teasing, stopped being this barely tethered version of herself—then maybe the ache in her chest would start catching up.
And she couldn’t afford that.
Not yet, You were still gone.
Natasha Romanoff was a force in the training room. Everyone knew that. But even she had her rhythms — the way she sized someone up, tested their footing, let them learn through a bruise or two without destroying what little confidence they had. But not today. Today, she was sharp. Clinical. Unforgiving. Every correction came with a hit, every mistake was pointed out with the flick of her staff or the slam of a mat.
By the end of the session, half the recruits were limping and the other half were trying not to look like they were on the verge of crying. They weren’t rookies. All of them were somewhere in their early twenties, eager and just green enough to think they had something to prove. Normally, Natasha would break them down with precision, then build them back up.
Today, she left them scattered across the floor like discarded chess pieces.
“Alright, go,” she finally said after a bit more of torture, waving a hand like she was shooing pigeons instead of a group of elite S.H.I.E.L.D. trainees. “You’re all free to cry in the showers. Debrief’s in two hours. Don’t be late or I’ll actually try.”
The room cleared out faster than a fire drill.
Clint, who’d spent most of the session leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and his mouth shut, finally raised his eyebrows.
“Well,” he said. “That was brutal.”
Natasha rolled her eyes. “They’re fine. They signed up for this.”
“They signed up for basic tactical sparring, not full-contact therapy.”
She gave him a look, but there was no venom behind it.
Clint stepped forward and offered her a bottle of water, which she took without a word.
“You wanna tell me what’s going on or should I wait until you start decapitating punching bags?”
“I’m just tired.”
“You’re always tired. This is different.”
She stayed quiet. Long enough that Clint didn’t think she was going to answer. Then—
“I’m not used to being alone anymore.”
That surprised him. Not the words, maybe, but the way she said them. Flat. Matter-of-fact. Like it was a diagnosis she didn’t quite know what to do with.
“I mean, I can do it,” she added quickly, like that mattered more. “I’ve done it most of my life. I know how to keep Ana on routine, I know how to make sure the bills are paid, I know how to function—”
“But you’re not sleeping.”
Natasha glanced at him.
“I know that look,” Clint said. “You’ve got it under control on the outside, but inside you’re counting every creak in the apartment.”
She didn’t answer, which meant he was right.
He softened his tone a little. “This the third time?”
Natasha nodded. “First time was fine. Just a three-day recon. Ana missed her, I missed her, but I kept busy. Second time was about a month later. Same length. But it hit differently. I was irritated all the time, couldn’t explain why.”
“And now?”
“I’m snapping at everyone,” she muttered. “I haven’t been able to fall asleep without checking the door three times. I wake up every hour thinking I heard something. My body feels like it’s stuck in defense mode.”
Clint tilted his head. “She make you feel safe?”
Natasha let out a dry laugh. “Isn’t that ironic?”
Clint smiled gently. “Maybe. But not surprising. You’ve spent your whole life being the safe one. The one with backup plans and exit routes and eyes on every angle. No one ever stuck around long enough for you to want safety.”
She didn’t deny it.
“I didn’t even notice,” she said after a moment. “That it was happening. I just… slept better. I rested. When she was around, I wasn’t bracing all the time. I started drinking my coffee while it was still hot. I didn’t flinch every time Ana made a noise in the middle of the night.”
“Must be weird.”
“It’s terrifying,” Natasha said, but there was a hint of a smile there now. “Because I didn’t think I was missing anything. I wasn’t unhappy. I had Ana. I had work. Everything was fine.”
Clint didn’t interrupt. He could see the thoughts still arranging themselves behind her eyes.
“She’s young,” Natasha said eventually. “Bright, loud, stubborn. She walks into a room and everything wakes up. And then… when she leaves, it’s like the apartment forgets how to breathe.”
Clint grinned. “Wow. You’re really down bad.”
She smacked his arm.
“I’m just saying,” he teased. “That sounds like someone who’s trying real hard not to use the word love.”
“I’m not saying it to you.”
“But you’re saying it.”
Natasha looked away, then back, then sighed.
“She’s only been gone for a week” she muttered. “And I already feel like my skin’s too tight.”
“Yeah,” Clint said softly. “That’s love, Nat.”
She didn’t reply. Just stood there with her arms crossed, jaw tight, like she was trying to keep the storm in her chest from spilling out across the floor.
And Clint didn’t push her.
Because he knew her. And she’d say it when she was ready. But until then, he’d be there. And maybe, if the world played fair for once, she would be back soon too.
She just left without saying a word to him and wandered to the kitchen, chasing the illusion of calm in a cup of coffee. A desperate attempt to reset, to claw her way back to something that resembled her usual mindset. Useless? Absolutely. But still a valid attempt.
She used what little spare time she had to chip away at the paperwork piling up on her desk, going through the motions while her brain begged for a break, but she couldn't bring herself to stop
When the clock finally pushed her toward the inevitable, she made her way to the meeting room. It was still quiet—mercifully so—and she let herself enjoy the silence for what it was: the last moment of peace before the incoming storm of idiocy.
Clint arrived not long after.
“Ready to deal with them again?” she sighed, barely turning her head to look at him. “It can’t get worse, right?”
It did.
After snapping through training drills and watching half the recruits nearly cry from a simple sparring critique, Natasha thought she’d reached the peak of her frustration. She thought the fire had burned out enough that she could sit through something as low-stakes as a mission planning session without needing a punching bag. She was wrong.
They were in the meeting room, a stack of files spread across the table, and the only thing more painful than their blank stares was their awful strategy logic. It wasn’t even an actual op—they were just meant to propose a plan, something clean and professional, basic protocol. But somehow they managed to turn it into the most chaotic, disjointed mess she had seen since Clint tried to microwave a steak.
One of them suggested a twelve-person infiltration team for a two-man job. Another thought a decoy explosion in a civilian area was a “good distraction.” Natasha stared at that one for a long time. Said nothing. Just let the silence hang until he cleared his throat and tried to backpedal.
It was hell.
They were hell.
And the worst part was, she couldn’t even find the energy to get mad anymore. She just wanted to be anywhere else.
She found herself thinking about your hands.
How they moved when you spread files across her table. How you always started a plan from the middle and worked backwards like it made more sense that way. How your theories were messy, but your execution was precise. How your dumb croissants always left flakes on her floor, but your coffee? Always perfect.
God, she missed you.
These newbies were making her feel ancient.
And somehow… you never did.
Which, in that moment, made her realize something even worse, She wasn’t just used to your presence. She had started to rely on it.
And now? With your chair empty across the room and a dozen voices talking over each other like toddlers playing spy?
She’d never wanted to quit a debrief so badly in her life.
She sat back in her chair, arms crossed, lips pressed in a flat line as she watched one of the recruits confidently draw a completely backwards tactical map on the whiteboard. The entrance and exit points were the same. The safe zone was placed inside the potential combat perimeter. And their plan to extract intel involved “grabbing the briefcase and hoping for the best.”
Natasha blinked. Slowly.
She didn’t interrupt. Didn’t scoff. Didn’t laugh.
She just watched. With the dead-eyed stare of someone whose soul had left her body approximately five minutes ago.
Clint was sitting to her right, trying—and failing—to stifle his amusement. She caught the edge of his grin in her periphery and didn’t bother to hide the glare she shot back.
“You’re enjoying this,” she muttered under her breath.
“Immensely,” Clint whispered, taking a casual sip of his water. “This is the most fun I’ve had all week.”
She let her head fall back against the chair with a quiet groan. “I’ve trained toddlers with better tactical awareness.”
Clint chuckled. “You did train a toddler. Yours has better instincts than these guys.”
She exhaled sharply, the corner of her mouth twitching despite the ache behind her eyes. “Don’t remind me.”
They watched another recruit stand up to add on to the plan, immediately contradicting the first half of it. Natasha let her eyes close, counted to ten, reopened them, and still nothing made sense. The files were sitting right there, everything they needed laid out in plain detail—but they weren’t reading, they weren’t thinking, they weren’t you.
You would’ve solved this in five minutes flat. Coffee in one hand, smug grin on your lips, and a completely insane but functional plan in front of her before she could even finish skimming the brief. You made chaos look elegant.
And you were so damn good at what you did.
Not just in the field. But with Ana. With her. With everything.
She missed the way you filled the space beside her. Missed the balance of it. The peace of knowing you were close enough to lean on, even when she pretended not to. She hadn’t realized how much calmer she’d become until you left—and now every breath felt too loud. Every second dragged.
You made things quiet. Inside her head. Inside her chest.
And without you there, she felt like her entire body was clenching around silence. Like she couldn’t relax. Couldn’t trust the stillness.
The room buzzed with voices again, someone suggesting parachutes in a low-rise recon op. Natasha stood up sharply, scraping her chair back.
“All of you,” she said flatly, “out.”
A beat of silence. Then chairs shifting, people scrambling, a few mumbled apologies.
Clint didn’t even try to hide his laugh now.
“You’re brutal.”
“They were parachuting into a building with three floors, Barton.”
“Bold,” he agreed, nodding.
Natasha rubbed her temple, tiredness dragging across her features like the weight of three sleepless nights. She didn’t say anything at first. Just stared at the table, at your empty seat, at the untouched coffee cup across from her that she’d placed there without thinking.
And Clint watched her. Quiet now.
“You okay?”
She let out a breath. “No.”
His brow furrowed slightly, but he waited.
“I’m tired,” she said, not looking at him. “Not physically. Not really. Just—on edge. All the time. Like I’m waiting for something to go wrong and I don’t even know what it is.”
Clint watched her carefully, but she didn’t return the look. Her fingers tapped against the file in front of her, slow and bitter. She wasn’t trying to sound dramatic. She was trying not to sound like she was one sleepless night away from losing it.
“And don’t start with the maybe-you-just-need-a-break crap,” she added, her voice dry as dust. “I swear to God, Barton, if one more person tells me to go meditate or do yoga, I’ll throw someone off the balcony just to feel something.”
Clint raised his hands, surrendering with a little whistle. “Wasn’t gonna say a word.”
“Good.” She closed the file with a hard snap. “Because the only thing I’m doing is going back to my apartment, taking a damn hot shower, and snuggling with my daughter until the tension in my spine lets go or I pass out trying.”
“You sure you don’t want to join the rookies for round two?” Clint teased, watching her sling her bag over her shoulder with the kind of aggression that suggested something—or someone—was about to be strangled.
Natasha shot him a look that could peel paint. “Those idiots wouldn’t know a mission plan if it hit them in the face with a blueprint and a crayon.”
“Sounds like a no.”
“It’s a hell no.”
She pushed the chair in with a sharp movement and started toward the door. She was already picturing it—Ana’s small body curled under her arm, the smell of baby shampoo still lingering in her hair, the weight of something real and safe grounding her. The apartment would be warm. Familiar. You wouldn’t be there, but Ana would. And maybe that would be enough to stop her from unraveling further.
“I’m going to go cuddle my toddler,” she muttered as she walked away, mostly to herself. “In an attempt to soothe my fucking nerves before I kill someone.”
“Love that for you,” Clint called after her, smirking. “Tell Ana I said hi.”
But she didn’t answer. She just kept walking—jaw clenched, back stiff, heart pounding louder than it should.
And maybe that was the part that scared her the most.
It was getting harder to calm down without you.
She should’ve gone to her own apartment. She meant to. But in the elevator, her finger pressed your floor instead of hers. She stared at the button, thought about fixing it—and didn’t.
It wasn’t on purpose. Just muscle memory, maybe. Or something quieter. Something she wasn’t ready to name.
She ignored the unspoken rules of social decency—the ones about personal space, about waiting until you’re invited, about not letting yourself into someone else’s apartment when they’re not home. But rules had never done much for her. Not when her chest felt like it was pulled too tight, not when every inch of her skin ached to be somewhere that felt less.
So she walked in like she belonged. Because maybe she did.
The scent hit her first. Your perfume, soft and clean, still lingering in the air like you’d left only minutes ago. Her shoulders relaxed before she even realized it. The knot in her back didn’t go away, but it loosened, just enough for her to breathe. She scoffed under her breath, irritated with herself. This is ridiculous.
She wasn’t supposed to be the kind of woman who felt safe just because of a smell. That was something for romance novels and bad TV dramas. And yet here she was, sinking into it like it was the only thing keeping her upright. Pathetic.
But she didn’t leave.
Instead, she walked to your bathroom, peeled off her clothes, and stepped into your shower. The water pressure was—of course—better than hers. Much better. The kind of steaming hot that instantly blanketed her skin, wrapped around her ribs, and made the world feel like it could fade for a few minutes. She let her forehead press to the tile and made a mental note: Have her install one of these in my apartment. Perks of being your… something.
Natasha let herself fold. The heat hit her hard, softening the edges of her muscle, but not the ache underneath. That, only you could reach.
She braced a hand against the tile, eyes shut, water cascading over her back. Her other hand moved across her body, every touch of her own hands washing away the grime taking deep sighs and low whines come out of her mouth... she is a needy mess. the week, the endless static of a life too sharp lately. But it wasn’t right. It wasn’t you.
Her fingers stilled at her collarbone, and all she could think about was your hands—gentler than she expected, steady, unhurried. The way you touched her like you had all the time in the world. The way your thumb had traced her hipbone once without even noticing, and it had made her breath catch like a damn teenager.
She wanted that.
God, she wanted you.
Not just your mouth or your body or the heat of your skin against hers—though she wanted that too, badly—but the presence. That anchoring calm you carried, the ease in your laugh, the way you never flinched when Ana clung to your chest or Natasha woke up gasping in the middle of the night. You were steady. You were safe.
And she missed you like hell.
The water rushed down her back as her palm curled against the tile. Her breath hitched—not from the steam, but from the ache in her chest. This wasn’t just about the day. Or the week. This was you, absent in a way she hadn’t let herself admit she wasn’t handling well.
She needed your hands. Your weight behind her. Your mouth pressed to her shoulder whispering sweet things on her ear... bringing her to a lazy orgasm, your fingers trusting inside her exactly how she likes it, that type of orgasm that made her bones melt. She needed to feel claimed—wanted—in the way only you managed to make her feel.
She let the water run until her skin turned pink and her legs felt a little less steady. But not weak. Just—softer.
She wrapped herself in your towel, tucked her hair behind her ear, and looked at her reflection. She felt ridiculous—needy in a way that made her wince. Two years spent living something close to celibate, and now she couldn’t make it through a week without you.
“Pathetic,” she muttered under her breath. And yet, she didn’t leave.
She wasn’t ready to leave.
Not when everything in this apartment smelled like you.
Not when your presence lingered in the sheets and the steam and the air she breathed like a promise.
Not when her skin still craved you more than the water could soothe.
Wrapped in your robe—still warm from where it had hung by the bathroom—Natasha felt like she was wearing a secret. The collar smelled like you. The sleeves hung past her wrists just enough to feel wrong on her body and right in every other way. The plush fabric swallowed her frame, soft where her skin was still pink from the shower, grounding her like only you managed to do.
She padded barefoot into your bedroom, towel-drying her hair lazily as she reached for your phone. You weren’t home, but she didn’t need permission. Not anymore. Not after the way you’d held her the last time she’d fallen apart. Not after the way your hands had memorized her.
She dialed the tower’s daycare.
It rang twice before someone picked up. “Hello—Avengers Tower Child Services, this is—”
“I need Ana.”
There was a pause, just long enough to signal the woman on the other end had recognized her voice. “Oh—are you coming down to pick her up?”
“No,” Natasha cut in, her voice low and dry. “Have someone bring her to Ms. Stark’s apartment.”
Another pause. Sharper this time.
Natasha didn’t usually pull rank. She didn’t like making people uncomfortable if she could help it, didn’t like reminding people of who she was unless she had to. But today? Today she didn’t give a fuck.
The silence on the other end of the line cracked into a gasp—the kind someone makes when they choke on air but try to hide it. “Ms. Stark’s apartment?” the woman repeated, barely managing to keep her voice steady. “But she’s—uh—she’s currently away on mission—”
“Exactly,” Natasha replied, cool and calm as ice. “I’m in her apartment.”
She hung up before the woman could recover, before she could come up with something else polite to say. The truth was already in the air. No taking it back now.
And maybe Natasha liked that a little more than she should.
Still barefoot, she wandered into your kitchen and opened the cabinet where she knew you kept the coffee mugs—second shelf, left side, tucked behind that one chipped one you never threw away. She picked your favorite, poured the last of the hot brew into it, and cradled it between her palms like it might warm her deeper than the robe already had.
She looked down at herself. She was wearing a pair of your pajama bottoms—soft, a little too big, cinched at the waist with a lazy knot. your robe, draped over it. She smelled like your shampoo. She moved like someone who belonged in your space.
When the elevator dinged, she didn’t rush to meet it.
She walked slowly, casually, letting the scent of your coffee cling to her like another layer of you. She opened the door just as the delivery woman was adjusting Ana on her hip.
And the look on her face?
Priceless.
Natasha didn’t smile. Not really. But her mouth did twitch in a way that let the woman know she’d seen it. That she understood exactly what this looked like. And that she wasn’t about to explain herself.
She reached for Ana, who immediately threw her arms around her mother’s neck, cheek pressed into her shoulder with a tired little sigh.
“Thank you,” Natasha said, expression unreadable but voice polite.
The woman mumbled something in return, eyes flicking once more to Natasha’s clothes—your clothes—before she stepped back into the elevator.
And that was that.
Natasha smiled to herself, something smug curling in her chest, her mood instantly lighter—as if claiming you, even in a silent, indirect way, had flipped a switch in her head. The robe still smelled like you. The coffee was yours. The space was yours. And now, so were they.
She looked down at Ana, who was content and warm in her arms, still sleep-dazed with her cheek pressed to her shoulder. “Mama made it pretty clear,” Natasha murmured, voice full of dry satisfaction. “She’s ours.”
Ana made a little sound—a soft gag, half-laugh, half-yawn—like she agreed in her toddler way, and Natasha huffed out a quiet chuckle. “Exactly,” she said, brushing her lips over the crown of Ana’s head. “I didn’t even have to say it out loud. That poor woman nearly fainted.”
Ana mumbled something incoherent and tucked herself in tighter, her small fingers wrapping into the edge of Natasha’s robe.
Natasha carried her toward the bedroom, her hand cupping Ana’s back instinctively. She still had her coffee in the other hand, warm and familiar. “You know,” she said softly, talking more to fill the quiet than anything else, “you and I—we make a good team. I don’t even have to say what I want, and you go ahead and make me look all possessive.”
Another little sleepy gag came in response, and Natasha smirked.
They reached the bed.
It was still unmade from your morning rush—covers half thrown back, your pillow slightly indented. Natasha settled in like muscle memory, stretching out with a soft sigh as she adjusted the blankets over them both. She took one last sip of coffee before setting the mug on your nightstand.
Ana curled on her chest, tiny limbs draped naturally over her like she belonged there. Natasha’s hand moved up and down her daughter’s back in a rhythm she didn’t think about.
Everything smelled like you.
Everything felt like you.
And wrapped in your robe, in your bed, with Ana’s heartbeat against hers, Natasha let herself close her eyes for the first time that day and just breathe.
This—this was hers. And she wasn’t sharing.
Ana fell asleep fast—unfairly fast, in Natasha’s opinion. One minute she was blinking slow against her chest, the next, completely knocked out, tiny fingers still curled in the fabric of Natasha’s borrowed robe.
Natasha looked down at the peaceful little traitor and sighed through her nose. “Such a simp,” she muttered, mock-scolding, brushing her knuckles gently against Ana’s red hair. “You know that, right? One whiff of her and you’re out like a light. No standards.”
Ana didn’t respond, of course. Just let out a soft snore, drooling slightly onto Natasha’s chest.
“Gross,” Natasha added affectionately, then shifted with a little grunt of effort, sliding out from under her daughter with the practiced ease of a mother who’d done this dance too many times. She tugged the robe off her shoulders, tossing it to the chair by your desk, then pulled the duvet up to cover them both. It smelled heavenly. Like you. Of course it did.
She rolled her eyes—at you, at herself, at this whole situation she never thought she’d be in.
“Great,” she muttered as she settled in beside Ana again, tugging the duvet tighter around them. “She has turned both Romanoffs into complete idiots. Well done.”
The bed was warm. The room was quiet. Ana’s breath was slow and steady, pressed into her side now. Natasha tucked her arm around her daughter and let herself relax.
It didn’t take long before she was out too.
Simp, indeed.
It was, without a doubt, the best sleep she’d had all week. No tossing, no restless half-wakes at every small noise. Just warmth. The kind that wrapped around her bones, settled into her skin. The kind that whispered safety without needing to say a word.
Natasha was sleeping like a log, dead to the world. But even as she stirred, something felt different. Not wrong—no, not at all—but new. Or rather… familiar in a way she was beginning to crave.
There was an extra weight draped over her waist. Not heavy, but grounding. And then the scent—yours—undeniable, curling around her like a second blanket. It was the only reason she didn’t jolt upright like usual, the only reason her muscles stayed loose instead of tensing on instinct. She blinked, adjusting to the low light filtering through the room, and looked down.
Your hand.
Delicate, sure. But firm in its claim, wrapped around her as if she were something fragile and rare, something to be protected. Treasured. As if you knew what she tried to hide and wanted to shield her from it anyway.
She didn’t know how to breathe for a second.
She didn’t feel weak. She didn’t feel small. She felt… like yours.
Carefully, quietly, she rolled onto her side, slow enough not to disturb Ana, still asleep by her side. Her eyes met yours. Warm. Soft. Tired in the same way hers were.
You leaned in first. Or maybe she did. It didn’t matter.
Your lips brushed hers in a slow, unhurried kiss—lingering just a second too long to be casual, just deep enough to say I missed you without either of you needing to say a word. There was something sacred in the silence. Something steady in the pull between your mouths.
Longing and relief, tangled together in the stillness.
The kiss faded slowly, not because either of you wanted it to, but because the moment demanded breath—words. Familiar rhythm. Something to tether the weight of the morning to something more manageable. You stayed close, noses brushing, your hand still resting over her waist.
“God, you look terrible,” you whispered, the corners of your mouth tugging into a sleepy grin.
Natasha let out a soft huff of amusement, half-heartedly rolling her eyes. “Thanks, printsessa. Nothing like brutal honesty to start the day.”
You blinked at her, incredulous. “Day? Darling, it’s fucking 22:00. How did you manage to destroy your biological clock like this?”
You brushed a strand of her messy red hair off her cheek, your fingers deliberately slow, teasing. “No, really. Hair like a bird nest. Dark circles. You look like someone tried to cosplay insomnia.”
She smirked, biting back a laugh that might wake Ana. “I’ve been busy not murdering anyone this week, thanks to someone disappearing again.”
“I was working,” you said, mock-defensive, shifting just a little so your leg hooked around hers. “Some of us have very important things to do, you know.”
Natasha scoffed. “Right. And I’m sure the fate of the world depended entirely on your ability to drink five espressos and ignore my texts.”
You grinned, nose brushing her temple. “Six espressos, actually. And I wasn’t ignoring. I was… emotionally unavailable.”
That earned a soft laugh from her—real and unguarded. She tilted her head back just enough to meet your gaze fully, her expression still dry, but touched with affection. “You’re insufferable.”
You grinned wider. “And yet here you are. Wrapped in my sheets. Wearing my clothes. Sleeping in my bed.”
She pressed a quick kiss to your chin, her voice lower now, almost fond despite her teasing. “Yeah. Must be losing my edge.”
You pulled her closer again, arms snug around her waist. “Nah. You just found better edges to soften against.”
She didn’t say anything. Just let herself melt into you, breathing easier than she had in days.
She was quiet at first, her body still heavy with sleep as you brushed your fingers lazily down the slope of her waist. Her hair was a mess, sticking out in all directions, eyes half-lidded and unfocused as they slowly adjusted to the light.
You let your hand slide up, resting it on her ribs. “A little bird told me you weren’t exactly… thriving this week.”
She stilled slightly. “Clint?”
“Mmhmm. Said you almost impaled a trainee for calling you ma’am.”
“They earned it.”
You grinned. “You told one of the analysts she had the tactical sense of a door.”
Natasha grunted.
You snorted softly. “You’ve been stomping around the tower like a sleep-deprived dragon.”
There was a long pause before she finally sighed, low and quiet. “I don’t sleep well without you.”
You didn’t tease her for that one. Not this time.
Instead, you shifted closer, curling around her a little more, letting her breathe you in. Her shoulders softened. Just a little.
“I mean, if this is you at thirty-three, I can’t imagine the chaos when you’re sixty,” you said gently, your lips brushing her hair. “You’ll be throwing people out of windows for breathing too loud.”
Natasha let out a tired, amused sound. “That’s optimistic. I’ll be worse.”
You kissed her jaw. “Cute.”
“I’m not cute.”
“You’re so cute when you’re cranky and secretly in love with me.”
She turned her face into your neck, mumbling something unintelligible, but you could feel the smile there.
Natasha was still tangled in the last traces of sleep, Ana’s little body sprawled by her side, her scent mingling with the faint sweetness of your perfume that lingered on the pillows. The calm wouldn’t last, she knew that. It never did. But for now, she allowed herself to rest in it—until you stirred beside her and she felt your fingers brushing her side softly.
“I have some news,” you said, voice low and close to her ear, carrying the weight of something important, but softened with warmth.
Natasha’s body tensed the smallest bit. It was instinctive, like a defense mechanism. That tone—it meant change. She shifted, careful not to wake Ana, and met your eyes. “What kind of news?”
You sat up slightly, propping yourself on your elbow, and smiled. “Good news, I swear.”
Still, she didn’t smile back. Not yet. She just waited, studying your expression. She’d learned to read people deeply, and you—God, you were the only person who ever made her forget how.
You reached up, brushing a few strands of hair from her face. “Fury said I’m not necessary here in the Avengers anymore, so I can go back to England.”
Natasha blinked, just once—but it was enough. That word again.
England.
It was always there—hovering like a shadow behind your name, your work, your laughter. The place that could take you back. The place that wasn’t here.
Her throat tightened just a bit. “So… you’re leaving?”
You heard it. You always did. The tension behind her words. The shift in her breathing.
You leaned closer, your forehead nearly touching hers. “But I’m also not necessary in England either. So I chose to stay here.”
Natasha blinked, unsure. “Wait, what?”
“I said I had good news,” you cut her off gently, your thumb brushing the corner of her mouth. “You’re looking at the newest member of the Avengers. Apparently one Stark wasn’t enough, so now they get to deal with two.”
That earned you a blink of surprise—and then, slowly, a breath of relief. Natasha didn’t smile, not quite. But the way her shoulders eased, the way her fingers curled slightly tighter around Ana, spoke volumes.
Still, you could tell her mind was spinning.
“So… you’re staying here?” she asked quietly, as if she didn’t quite trust the answer yet.
You nodded. “Fury said I could go back if I wanted. But I don’t. I want this. I’ll be living here. In the Tower. With you. With Ana.”
And that was the moment everything shifted.
You weren’t just dropping in and out of her life anymore. You weren’t a fleeting miracle or a reprieve between the chaos. You were staying. Permanently. Part of the team. Part of them.
A breath she didn’t know she’d been holding left her lungs all at once, and she couldn’t help the way her hand slid up to cup your cheek, holding you close as if anchoring herself to reality.
“You’re serious?” she asked.
You grinned. “Completely. They’re stuck with me now.”
She let out a dry laugh, shaking her head slightly. “Poor bastards.”
You tilted your head. “That wasn’t very supportive, Romanoff.”
“Oh, I’m supportive,” she said, leaning forward to kiss your jaw. “I’m just also a realist.”
You chuckled, but even you couldn’t hide how full your chest felt—because you knew. You knew what this meant to her. To all of you.
“I missed you too, you know,” you added after a moment, a little softer now. “Don’t think you were the only one close to losing your shit. They paired me with this guy in his thirties—had more field experience than me but didn’t even know how to operate an advanced interface system. Almost blew up the whole thing trying to sync it.”
Natasha raised a brow. “Seriously?”
You nodded. “At one point I had to take over and told him to step back before I sent him to basic training again. I’m pretty sure I growled.”
She smirked, drawing circles against Ana’s back absentmindedly. “Sounds like you were channeling me.”
You smiled and leaned down, resting your forehead against hers. “I think I just missed home.”
That word hit. Home.
And somehow, this—you, her, Ana, this bed—had become exactly that.
Natasha sighed, curling her fingers in the hem of your shirt. “Well… I hope you like shared showers and stolen hoodies.”
You chuckled. “It’s part of the contract.”
She smiled against your mouth. Finally. And maybe this wasn’t perfect. Maybe the world would keep throwing chaos their way. But at least for now, there was one solid truth Natasha could finally hold onto:
You were home. And you weren’t going anywhere
634 notes · View notes
jmaknavigr · 21 hours ago
Text
Awwwww, thank you very much Glitchy, you are also a treasured to me!! >^<
@moonlight12086 @marasiatheferret @lunlunvx145 @tiredsmashbros @rmgkyle @rr3d2y @mikchi8 @markboyblue @doodledev1l @sudokumaze @radiantrevolt @averyterribleartist @v4p0v1s3r @coralalala64 @hexsie @knightedmares @vextheallay
I love all of you very much!! >^<
I send you a big and strong hug from here, to where you live!! 🫂✨
(Sorry for the tags and I really hope I didn't bother you all! :3)
You are someone’s treasured mutual.
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cheftsunoda · 18 hours ago
Text
beauty and brains
(part four)
smau + real life
warning : very very wordy
“lando takes a trip to visit jules while she is in the midst of a 24 hour shift and the twins celebrate a birthday..with a few surprises."
(I received several requests on a few little plot lines to add so I tried my best to incorporate all)
Charles Leclerc x !Doctor Sister Reader x Platonic F1 Grid
Leclerc Reader x Lando Norris
part one here:)
part two here:)
part three here:)
 tag list : @klauslovemepls , @omgsuperstarg , @msliz , @samanthaofanarchy , @mayax2o07 , @goldenstrawberryx, @hannahmotors10 , @alireads27 , @1800-love-me, @htpssgavi , @cmgmikealson, @babygirl-4986 , @star73807-blog, @glow-ish, @just-tingz-virgo, @majapapaya4, @lina505
dr_jules_leclerc added to her story!
Tumblr media
{caption 1 : only 12 hours into this 24 and im already falling asleep - SEND HELP} {caption 2 : help has arrived—thank you lando}
seen by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 & 4,368,468 others.
charles_leclerc : I thought you said no visitors allowed at work…
charles_leclerc : arthur is upset
dr_jules_leclerc : oh I wasn’t specific- im allowed visitors I just put you both on a no visitation list
charles_leclerc : that is so rude - what did we ever do?
dr_jules_leclerc : where the both of you are- chaos ensues + I do not need distractions
charles_leclerc : ignoring that first part- but is lando not a distraction?
dr_jules_leclerc : he is a permitted distraction because he brought gifts
charles_leclerc : if I buy you that birkin you were talking about - will you take me off the list?
dr_jules_leclerc : ….yes…bubblegum pink with palladium hardware..thank you charlie
charles_leclerc : perfect😁 anything for you, princesse.
oscarpiastri : lily and I will take some of the credit for the flowers- we helped him pick them out.
dr_jules_leclerc : you know me so well, loves. thank uuuu
arthur_leclerc : sooooo since charles is off the ban list does that mean i am too?
dr_jules_leclerc : no because you will be here every day and I will never get any work done.
arthur_leclerc : sorry for loving my sister jeez 🙄
arthur_leclerc : …what if I bring lunch everytime?
dr_jules_leclerc : …okay..fine
lando added a post to his story!
Tumblr media
{caption : found this really pretty lady at the hospital and now she is showing me really cool things - BEST DAY EVER}
seen by charles_leclerc, ciscanorris, flonorris1 & 2,368,354 others.
charles_leclerc : she is the best
lando : she really is, i love watching her do something she is so passionate about.
ciscanorris : I am glad you are finally learning something because I know you didn’t pay any attention in school. Tell my daughter I said hello and love her bunches!
lando : will do- no love for me? 🤨
ciscanorris : Don’t be dramatic, Lando. I birthed you- you automatically have all my love instilled into you.
flonorris1 : never thought you’d end up with anyone as cool as her
lando : me neither
I was on hour eighteen— out of 24.
My scrubs were wrinkled, my hair had been up and redone twice already, and my eyes burned from staring at the same three charts for too long. I had barely eaten, my feet ached, and there was a little knot forming at the base of my neck from the stress of balancing five pediatric oncology cases—each one heavy, each one pulling at a different part of my heart.
I was halfway through a progress note when someone knocked softly on the doorframe of my office.I looked up from my computer screen and froze.
Lando.
He was wearing a hoodie, joggers, and sneakers that were entirely too clean for hospital floors. He had what looked like 3 bouquets and some balloons, and a familiar little grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. The one he always saved just for me.
“Hi, doctor,” he said quietly.
My whole body exhaled.
“Lan—what are you doing here?”
He held up the flowers like they explained everything. “Bringing you something to brighten up your day. I can’t imagine a 24 hour shift with several different cases is very fun for you, love.”
I blinked, then set the paperwork down and stood, crossing the room in just a few steps before wrapping my arms around his waist. He hugged me back instantly—tight, warm, steady. I let yourself melt into it, just for a second.
“You didn’t have to come all the way here,” I murmured against his chest.
“I wanted to,” he said. “You take care of everyone else. I just wanted to take care of you for five minutes.”
He pulled back gently and handed me a small bag. Inside was my favorite wrap, a bottle of coconut water, and a pack of chocolate-covered almonds I always kept in my locker but had run out of days ago.
“Eat up, Doc. I know you haven’t eaten all day.”
My chest squeezed.
“You remembered all of this?”
“I pay attention,” he said with a soft shrug. “Especially to you.”
I sat with him in the office for ten stolen minutes, half-laughing through my exhaustion as he made dramatic faces while trying to sip from the tiny espresso cups meant for the staff.
At one point, my head dropped onto his shoulder and he just let it stay there, fingers tracing light circles on my back.
“I don’t know how you do this every day,” he whispered.
I closed my eyes. “Some days I don’t either.”
“But you still do.”
He looked at me then—really looked. No makeup, hair undone, emotionally and physically worn down to my edges—and he thought I had never looked more beautiful.
“You’re unbelievable, you know that?”
I huffed a tired smile. “Tell me that again after I’ve slept.”
“I’ll tell you every day if you let me.”
I turned to him, and for a second, the hospital faded. There was just Lando. Kind, thoughtful, mine.
And in that moment, you didn’t need the flowers or a grand speech. You just needed this-
Someone who showed up when it mattered.
Someone who saw the hard parts and still stayed.
Someone who brought food to a hospital at 9 p.m. because he loved me.
A light knock on the door interrupted our moment of peace. I nodded towards my assistant who opened the door gently.
“Sorry to bother you, Dr. Leclerc - both of your brothers are downstairs and are requesting to come up and see you.” She said and I smirked to myself with a small sigh.
“Let them up- why not?” I said with a small chuckle and set my head back on Lando’s shoulder.
Within minutes, there was a knock on my office door and Arthur and Charles came barreling in. A giant orange bag in Charles’ hand that read ‘Hermes’. Charles held it out with a big smile on his face.
“For you, princesse.” He said eyeing lando and taking a seat across the desk from me.
“Charles- it is 9 at night how the fuck did you even get this?” I said with a huge smile on my face as I unboxed the purse.
“I have my ways and my connections and as I said- anything for you.” He said, watching me open the box with joy.
“You just had to show up my gift, huh?” Lando said with a smirk.
“What can I say?” Charles shrugged.
“No, this is only here because it is the only way Jules would take Charles and I off the ban list.” Arthur said and I chucked to myself.
“Either way- it is much appreciated, my loves. You have made this shift considerably less miserable for me. I love it, thank you.” I said and stood pulling Arthur into a hug- he left a kiss on my cheek. I then pulled Charles in and his head rested on top of mine for a small moment.
“You are our superhero, Jules. All of ours.” Arthur said and charles and lando both nodded.
“I love you all, so much.”
Finally- hour 24 of 24 had ended.
The fluorescent lights still buzzed. My sneakers still squeaked faintly against the tile. But the chaos had dulled into that familiar post-shift stillness—an exhaustion so deep it lived in my bones.
I stepped out of the elevator, rubbing my temples, and there he was.
Lando. Sitting in the waiting area, hoodie hood up, legs stretched out, phone forgotten in his lap. Asleep, but barely. The second my steps slowed near him, his eyes opened like he knew.
“You stayed,” I whispered, throat tight.
He blinked once, then smiled, soft and sleepy. “Of course I did.”
I stared at him for a second—this boy with messy curls and too much heart, who waited hours in a hospital chair just to take me home. Something cracked a little in my chest.
“I told you to go,” I said, not unkindly—just overwhelmed.
“And you never listen to me when I tell you to rest,” he said, standing slowly. “So I figured we’re even.”
That made me laugh, tired and watery.
Without a word, he reached for my bag, threw it over his shoulder, then carefully tugged my hand into his. His thumb brushed gently across my knuckles as he led me outside, into the cool night air.
I was silent until I reached the car, the kind of silence that buzzed with everything I couldn’t say yet.
But when I sat down—door shut, the outside world finally muffled—I turned to him. And the words just came.
“You know how many people see this version of me?” I asked softly.
He glanced over. “This version?”
“The tired one. The one who’s had to deliver shit news and hold her emotions together in front of a ten-year-old who’s too brave for her own good. The one who didn’t get to cry during the bad scan. The one who forgot to eat and barely held it together when a patient’s parents broke down in the hallway.” I exhaled. “This version.”
Lando didn’t rush to respond. He just looked at me, eyes soft, voice even softer.
“I want to see every version.”
My throat caught.
“Not just the one in the hoodie I love. Not just the one who dances in the kitchen or teases me about being dramatic on race weekends. I want all of them. Even the hard ones. Especially those.”
I blinked fast, swallowing the knot rising in my throat.
“Tonight was hard,”I said, voice cracking.
“I know,” he whispered, already reaching across the console, thumb brushing under my eye where a tear slipped out. “But you’re not alone anymore, okay?”
I nodded once. Then again.
He leaned over, kissed my forehead, and whispered into my skin: “Let me be your soft place to land.”
And I knew—he already was.
time skip - 8 months - leclerc twins birthday
dr_jules_leclerc made a post!
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dr_jules_leclerc : Happy birthday to my twin—my first friend, my forever teammate, and the one who just gets me without even saying a word. From day one, we’ve shared everything—our childhood, our dreams, our weird inside jokes, and all the highs and lows in between. There’s something so rare and special about growing up with someone who’s been right there beside you every step of the way. I’m so proud of the person you are and so lucky to go through life with you as my other half. Here’s to more adventures, more laughs, and more memories we’ll never forget. Love you always and endlessly.
charles_leclerc : mon chèri —you already made me cry this morning on the phone and then you post this. i am so proud of you and the amazing person you have become. you continue to make me so proud every single day. you are a superhero to me and to so many others. i am so blessed to have you. love you forever
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alexandrasaintmleux : my two favorite humans on the planet—happy birthday. i love you both so so much and I cannot wait to celebrate you both. 🤍
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charles_leclerc : Merci mon ange. Je t'aime jusqu'à la lune et retour.
dr_jules_leclerc : oh my alex—i love you forever and ever. thank you for being the sister i never knew i needed 🤍
arthur_leclerc : I’d be so lost without you guys. I look up to you both and you have been the biggest inspiration to me. I love you both. Happy Birthday!
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dr_jules_leclerc : love you Thur— thank you for the flowers this morning 🥹
leclerc_pascale : 💋❤️
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carlossainz55 : Happiest of Birthdays to my favorite twins!
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dr_jules_leclerc : aren’t we like the only twins you know?
carlossainz55 : well technically yes but I could meet quadruplets and you guys would still be the favorite
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dr_jules_leclerc : thank you chili ❤️
oscarpiastri : Happy birthday to my father and my aunt! Love you guys!
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charles_leclerc made a post
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charles_leclerc : Happy birthday to the one who’s been with me since the very beginning—my twin, my lifelong partner in crime, my heart in another body. There’s no bond like ours, and no one I could ever be more grateful for. You’ve been my biggest cheerleader, my secret-keeper, my therapist, and my favorite person to just sit in silence with. We’ve seen each other through every version of ourselves—messy, growing, healing, thriving—and we’ve never let go. I honestly don’t know who I’d be without you, and I don’t ever want to find out. You make life fuller, funnier, and so much more meaningful. Here’s to everything we’ve been through and everything that’s still ahead. I love you more than words can really say.
dr_jules_leclerc : oh my charlie— thank you for always supporting me and keeping me strong throughout this life. you are one of the best things god has given me in this life and i wouldn’t trade you for anything. thank you for all those nights where you’d stay up for endless hours helping me study. thank you for pushing me and always believing in me. thank you for being you. love you forever
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arthur_leclerc : can you guys stop making me cry?
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maxverstappen1 : Happy Birthday Leclerc’s!
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alexandrasaintmleux : my angels
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leclerc_pascale : mes bèbès❤️
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lewishamilton : Happy Birthday to one of my best friends and to my teammate! ❤️
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pierregasly : happy birthday to you both! cant wait to celebrate 🥂
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lando : Happy birthday to the love of my life, my safe place, my soulmate. Every day with you feels like a blessing, but today I get to celebrate you—your heart, your strength, your laughter, and everything that makes you so incredibly special. You’ve shown me a kind of love I never knew existed, and being yours feels like coming home. Thank you for being my partner in this wild, beautiful life. I’m so proud of who you are and so lucky to love you. Here’s to all the memories we’ve made and all the magic still to come. I love you, always. 🧡
(Happy Birthday to Charles as well- thank you for trusting me with your beautiful sister.)
dr_jules_leclerc : currently in tears— lan, i love you so much. you have forever changed my perception of love. you have showed me what true love is like and i will always remember you for that. you truly are the love of my life - thank you.
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maxfewtrell: Happy Birthday Jules and Charles! Hope it’s a good one.
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charles_leclerc : Thank you, Lando. It took a lot for you to earn my trust but you did and that shows a lot. Take care of her, please.
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flonorris1 : Happy Birthday Jules! We miss you!!
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ciscanorris : Happy Birthday beautiful girl! Thank you for always being so good to my son and my family.
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pietra.pilao : Happy happy birthday beautiful lady!
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danielricciardo : aw how cute - my lando is so in love. happy birthday Jules and Charles!
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arthur_leclerc added posts to his story.
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{caption 1 : happiest of birthdays to the best sister i could have ever been given- you inspire me everyday. love you sm} {caption 2 : happy birthday cha- thank you for everything. you have done so much for me and have always been there to help me. love you}
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dr_jules_leclerc : artttt- im crying. you are the best baby brother i could have ever asked for. love you forever
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charles_leclerc : thank you Thur— love you:)
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alexandrasaintmleux : this is so cute oml
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olliebearman : tell them i said happy birthday!
arthur_leclerc : Ollie- man- you’re invited to their party tonight.
olliebearman : wait really??
arthur_leclerc : yes, Jules asked me if you’d come.
olliebearman : omg I’ll be there
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flashback moment between charles and jules
Age six.
Well—six and a half, as I proudly told anyone who asked. Charles would chime in with a matching “six and a half” in perfect unison, as if the two of us had rehearsed it.
We were always like that—mirrored pieces of the same wild, sunlit childhood. We shared everything: toys, birthdays, scraped knees, the top bunk, and Mamans laugh when we ran barefoot through the apartment, leaving chalk footprints behind.
It was a Saturday in Monaco. The kind of summer day where the air shimmered and the streets smelled like sea breeze and jasmine. The kind of day where the grownups left their windows open and the children left their shoes behind.
Charles and I were outside in the courtyard with a box of sidewalk chalk and no real plan—just endless space and imagination that didn’t need to make sense.
He was drawing something he insisted was a Formula 1 car.
“It’s got wings,” he explained, adding two lopsided triangles to the side. “So it’s faster.”
“It looks like a turtle,” I said, squinting.
Charles stuck his tongue out at me. “You don’t get it.”
I ignored him and moved on to the edge of the driveway, where I crouched and began writing my name, pressing the chalk down so hard it cracked in my hand.
J-U-L-E-Z. Big and uneven. In green and pink and a little streak of orange.
He looked over and tilted his head. “That’s not how you spell it.”
I turned my head sharply. “Yes it is.”
“Maman spells it with an ‘S.’”
I glared at him. “I like it with a ‘Z.’”
Charles raised his eyebrows in mock shock, then grabbed a piece of purple chalk and dramatically drew a huge, crooked heart around the name. “Fine. ‘Z’ it is.”
I didn’t say anything. Just grinned.
That afternoon turned golden, the way all the best ones did. We both chased each other through sprinklers, made a “soup” out of dandelions and tap water in mamans flower pots, and ended up collapsed on the front step, legs muddy, knees bruised, giggling breathlessly.
Someone handed us popsicles—our old neighbor, probably. Orange for both of us. It stained our fingers and dripped down our wrists as I swung my legs and leaned my shoulder into his without realizing it.
“Maman says you’re gonna be a doctor,” Charles said suddenly, eyes forward, voice calm.
I didn’t answer right away.
“She says you already know how to take care of people. That you ask questions like one.”
I looked at him, blinking. “She says you’re going to crash a car.”
Charles choked on his popsicle.
“I am not! I’m gonna drive one.”
“Yeah, into a wall,” i teased.
He elbowed me gently. “No walls. Just first place.”
We both sat quiet for a moment, chewing on the end of our popsicles, watching the sun sink behind the apartments.
Then I spoke.
“If you crash, I’m not fixing you.”
He smiled. “Liar.”
I nudged him. “You’re the liar.”
But even then—even at six—I knew I would fix him if he ever needed it. Because that’s what I did. And because he was mine, just like I was his.
And long after the chalk washed away and the popsicles melted and time turned everything else into something new—
That part stayed.
present day
I giggled to myself and sent charles a voice memo reliving that memory. He really was my other half and always would be. I was at his first race, I’ll be at his last. He has been there for me every step in my career. I’d always fix him if he ever needed it. It absolutely warmed my heart that him and Lando have finally started bonding—Charles still remaining protective as always but has let up on Lando. Time to get ready to Celebrate us.
The party was exactly what it should’ve been—equal parts elegant and chaotic.
Somehow, between back-to-back races and media days, We had managed to squeeze in one night. Just one night to celebrate another year around the sun, together. It had started as a quiet dinner idea, but leave it to the F1 grid to turn anything into an event.
The rooftop venue in Monaco overlooked the sea, bathed in gold from the setting sun. Fairy lights strung across low beams, music pulsing just enough to set the tone but not drown out the sound of laughter—so much laughter.
“Thirty minutes in and Russell already spilled red wine on the seating chart,” I whispered to Lando, who stood beside me with a hand resting comfortably at the small of my back.
“I think he did it on purpose,” Lando replied, lips twitching into a grin. “He’s avoiding being seated next to Max.”
I laughed, shaking my head—and that’s when I spotted him. Charles, across the patio, in conversation with Pierre and Esteban, trying to look serious while holding a cupcake in each hand.
“Classic Charles.” I murmured to myself.
Lando leaned in, dropping his voice. “Happy birthday, Doctor Leclerc.”
Before i could reply, someone called out: “Birthday toast!”
The group gathered slowly, everyone herding toward the long table that had somehow become littered with champagne corks, and a pair of sunglasses no one claimed. Charles tapped a glass with a fork, looking far too proud of himself.
“Okay,” he started, “as the older twin—”
“You’re older by four minutes,” I cut in.
“—wiser twin,” he amended with a smirk, “I’d like to say thank you all for being here. Some of you flew in on a rest day, which means a lot. Especially considering there is no actual prize for tolerating two Leclercs at once.”
Groans. Laughter. Someone (probably George) shouted, “We deserve medals!”
“But seriously,” Charles said, tone softening as he glanced at me. “We’ve shared every birthday together. Some loud. Some quiet. But this one feels different.”
I raised a brow. “How so?”
“Because you brought your half of the grid,” he teased, gesturing toward Lando, who grinned and mock-bowed. “And somehow, even with all the helmets and rivalry… tonight just feels like family.”
The silence that followed was warm. Full.
And then, just like that, Max lifted his glass. “To Jules and Charles. May their sibling battles always stay off track.”
“And may Lando survive dating a Leclerc!” someone (definitely Alex) added.
The toast ended in cheers, clinks, and one overly enthusiastic pop of champagne that nearly hit Oscar in the face.
Later, after cake (two, of course—because they still couldn’t agree on flavor) and dancing, I found myself standing alone by the railing, watching the moonlight ripple over the water.
Lando appeared quietly beside me, slipping his hand into mine.
“You good?” he asked, eyes on me, not the view.
I looked at him, heart a little full, cheeks still warm from laughing. “Yeah,” i said softly. “I’m really good.”
Because here she was—celebrating another trip around the sun with the person who knew her best, and the person who loved her deepest. Surrounded by people who’d crash helmets for her in one second and pull her into group hugs the next.
Charles and I sat on the balcony in silence - just enjoying the view and each other’s presence.
For a while, neither of us spoke.
We both just sipped, staring out at the glint of the sea under moonlight, the air quiet enough to hear the city hum.
Then Charles said, barely above a whisper, “Do you ever miss it? Being just us?”
I didn’t answer right away. Because I knew what he meant. Not out of jealousy, not from lack of love—but from the ache of growing up. Of your worlds expanding in opposite directions.
Sometimes it was just easier when it was the two of us, sharing bunk beds and stolen cookies, futures still unwritten and intertwined.
I leaned your shoulder into his, like I had a thousand times before.
“Yeah,” I admitted. “I miss it. But I wouldn’t trade this version either.”
He glanced over. “Even with Lando?”
I gave him a look. “Especially with Lando.”
Charles sighed dramatically, resting his head back. “Still weird.”
“You’re going to be weird about it forever, aren’t you?”
“Probably.” Then, after a pause, more serious: “But he makes you better. You smile more when he’s around.”
I blinked, taken off guard by the softness in his voice.
“You always took care of everyone else,” he added, “but now… someone’s taking care of you.”
And there it was—that twin intuition, cracking my chest open in the way only Charles could. The way he always saw me, even when you didn’t want to be seen.
I reached over, laced my pinky with his like i used to when i was little and scared of the dark.
“I’ve always had someone taking care of me,” I whispered.
He looked down at my pinky looped through his. Then nodded once, the corner of his mouth pulling upward.
“Happy birthday, Jules.”
“Happy birthday, Charlie.”
Charles had left to join Alexandra with something.
The rooftop was empty now.
The last of the laughter had faded. The champagne flutes were cleared. The music had stopped humming through the speakers. And somewhere below, Monaco slept beneath a blanket of soft moonlight and glittering sea.
I was still barefoot, my heels abandoned somewhere near the door. Lando was behind me—quiet, lingering—watching the way my hair moved in the night breeze, the curve of my back as you leaned against the railing, still sipping the last of my birthday espresso like it was wine.
Neither of us had said much in the last few minutes. The silence didn’t need to be filled. It felt like something sacred now, this stillness. A pause between chapters.
Lando stepped forward.
I turned, and mybeyes softened the second they met his.
“You okay?” I asked.
He nodded once. “Yeah. Just… thinking.”
“That’s dangerous,” I teased lightly, nudging his shoulder with mine.
He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Not out of sadness. Just something deeper. Quieter. His fingers found mine, weaving through them carefully, like he was memorizing the shape of my hand all over again.
“I’ve been carrying something with me all night,” he said.
I blinked. “Yeah?”
He nodded, his free hand reaching into the pocket of his jacket—pulling out a small, black velvet box.
My breath got caught in my chest.
“Lan—”
“I didn’t want to do it during the party,” he said quickly, voice low and steady. “Not in front of everyone. Not with Max yelling and your brother two seconds away from tackling me.”
I laughed, but it came out shaky. My heart was racing.
“I wanted it to be just you. Just me.” He looked around the empty rooftop. “Just this.”
Slowly, he sank to one knee, the box still unopened in his hand.
And suddenly it was like everything stilled. The sea. The stars. My pulse.
“I’ve loved you from the moment I realized how fiercely you love everyone else,” he said quietly. “I’ve seen the way you carry the weight of the world and still find room for joy. The way you laugh like it’s the first time every time. The way you hold onto people so tightly that they never want to let go.”
He paused, smiling slightly. “You made space for me. And I want to spend the rest of my life making sure you never have to carry anything alone again.”
He opened the box.
The ring inside was simple. Elegant. Timeless.
The way he thought of me.
“Jules Leclerc,” he breathed. “Will you marry me?”
I didn’t answer at first.
Because I was crying. Silently. Full-bodied, chest-aching tears—the kind that came from being seen so completely, so intimately, i didn’t know how to hold it all at once.
And then, through the blur of tears and the shaking breath, i whispered:
“Yes.”
He was up before I finished the word, arms around me, his lips pressed to my forehead, my cheeks, my smile. We were both laughing and crying and saying I love you like it was the only language we knew.
Somewhere down below, the waves kissed the shore.
But up here?
Up here, time stopped.
And forever began.
I didn’t sleep that night.
Neither of us did.
Between the adrenaline, the endless kisses, the whispered “fiancé” muttered every five minutes just to hear how it sounded… we were floating.
Morning came fast.
The Monaco sun filtered through the curtains of the apartment, and I sat cross-legged on the couch, hair messy, oversized hoodie swallowed over my knees—his hoodie, of course. Lando paced with two mugs of coffee in hand and nerves in his throat.
“You sure we’re ready for this?” he asked, even as he handed me a cup.
I raised a brow. “What, telling my family? The people who’ve loved me through every single meltdown, breakup, and panic attack I’ve ever had?”
“Yes.”
I smiled. “Then absolutely not.”
He groaned, dropping next to me on the couch. I reached over and took his hand.
“They love you, Lan,” I whispered, pressing my thumb into the curve of his palm. “And they love us.”
“You sure Charles won’t try to tackle me?”
“Eighty percent.”
He gave me a side-eye. “You’re lucky you’re pretty.”
A Few Hours Later
It was casual on the surface: a quiet brunch with Charles, Arthur, and maman. We done this dozens of times. Croissants, espresso, sunlight. Maman flitting between the kitchen and the table, humming to herself.
But Charles had been eyeing us both for a solid ten minutes now.
“What’s wrong with you two?” he asked finally, fork paused mid-air. “You’re smiling like… serial killers.”
Arthur leaned back and smirked. “They’re definitely hiding something.”
I locked eyes with Lando. He gave a slight nod. It was time.
I stood up slowly, heart pounding, holding up my left hand.
The room froze.
“Jules,” maman whispered, one hand already rising to her mouth.
“We’re engaged,”I said softly, my voice cracking from the weight of it. “Lando proposed last night. After the party.”
Charles blinked. Stared. Blinked again.
And then—“You proposed after my toast?!”
Lando laughed nervously. “I swear I didn’t plan it like that.”
Maman was already pulling me into her arms, wiping tears from her cheeks as she whispered a prayer in French and kissed the side of my face. Arthur stood, grinning wide as he pulled Lando into a too-tight hug, nearly knocking the wind out of him.
Charles, meanwhile, just sat there.
Silent.
Until he looked up at Lando with a sigh and stood.
Everyone held their breath.
Then—he walked around the table, stopped in front of Lando, and pulled him into a hug so tight, so genuine, it made my eyes sting.
“Just don’t break her heart,” he whispered into Lando’s ear.
“I won’t,” Lando promised.
“I’ll know if you do.”
“I know you will.”
Charles pulled back and nodded once before glancing over at you. “I hate that you’re gonna be a Norris,” he muttered.
I beamed. “I’m not. I’m keeping Leclerc.”
He fist-pumped. “Yes!”
“I have to go call Alex and Charlotte to start wedding planning!” I said grabbing Maman and entering the house, leaving the boys on the balcony.
Later That Evening
The nerves came rushing back as the video call loaded.
Lando and I sat curled up on the couch, my legs tucked under his, laptop perched on the coffee table between two mugs of tea we hadn’t touched. First on screen was Oli, then Flo, their eyes immediately narrowing like they sensed something was up.
“Okay,” Flo said, squinting. “You’re both sitting suspiciously close. Did you get a puppy?”
“No way, it’s a turtle,” Oli added. “You guys totally look like turtle people.”
And then, Cisca’s face appeared on screen—her familiar smile already easing the nerves in your chest. She looked cozy at home, a glass of wine in hand, gaze flicking between her son and the woman curled into his side.
“What’s going on?” she asked, the first to speak gently. “You’ve got that look, Lando. The same one you had when you drove a kart for the first time.”
Lando cleared his throat, fingers squeezing mine a little tighter. I nodded towards him.
He took a breath.
“We got engaged.”
There was a beat of silence—and then chaos.
Flo screamed, instantly flailing off-screen in excitement. Oli shouted “NO WAY” like it was breaking news. And Cisca—her hand flew to her mouth, tears already springing to her eyes before the rest of the sentence was even out. Adam just had a permanent smile plastered on his face.
“You—really?” she whispered, blinking.
Lando smiled at her, all soft and proud. “Yeah, Mum. I asked her last night. After the party. She said yes.”
My hand lifted automatically, showing them the ring, and Flo reappeared on-screen with a dramatic gasp that nearly made me almost drop the laptop.
“Wait—oh my god. Jules. That’s so pretty.”
“I love it,” Cisca said softly, still a little breathless, her eyes fixed on me now. “I always hoped… but I never wanted to say too much.”
“You made a damn good choice, son.” Adam said causing lando to smile.
“I know.”
I smiled and swallowed the lump in my throat.
“I love him,” I said quietly. “And I love this family already.”
That’s when Cisca’s voice wavered, eyes glassy.
“And now you’re part of it. Officially.” She blinked rapidly, then laughed, wiping her cheek. “God, look at me. I told myself I wasn’t going to cry.”
“Too late,” Oli teased.
Flo cut in, practically vibrating. “We need to plan a trip! I need to give you an in-person scream hug!”
Lando leaned closer to the screen. “We’ll come soon. Promise.”
The call stretched into an hour—stories, questions, wedding hints. And through it all, Cisca kept looking at me the way a mother does when she knows her son is going to be okay. When she sees the kind of love that doesn’t just burn, but lasts.
And just before the call ended, she reached toward the camera, like she could touch me through the screen.
“I hope you know,” she said, voice thick with love, “I already thought of you as part of our family. But now, I get to call you my daughter.”
My eyes stung again.
“I’d be honored,” I whispered.
Lando reached over, brushing a thumb over my cheek as the screen faded to black.
“She loves you, you know.”
I turned my head, smiling. “I know.”
“And so do I.”
__
paddock reactions! to the engagement
Race weekends were always a blur—flights, media, strategy meetings, adrenaline and tire smoke. But this weekend? This weekend felt different.
Because now there was a ring on my finger.
And the world didn’t know. Yet.
It started quietly.
Whispers. Curious glances. Subtle gestures between Lando and I —his hand always brushing over mine, his eyes softer than usual when he looked at me. The drivers noticed first, of course. They always did.
It was Oscar who caught it.
I was in the McLaren motorhome, mid-conversation with Lando about telemetry or tire wear—or pretending to be—when Oscar passed by, paused, backtracked, and squinted.
“Is that…?” He pointed to my hand, blinking. “Are you engaged?!”
I froze.
Lando burst out laughing.
And that was all it took.
An Hour Later
I wasn’t sure who told who next—Oscar or Carlos—but suddenly it felt like the entire paddock knew.
George cornered Lando during the cooldown after FP1. “Mate, you didn’t even text the group chat?!”
Alex demanded to know how many people knew before him. (The answer was two—my brother and my mother—and he still sulked.)
Lewis gave me a quiet hug in the Ferrari hospitality unit later, whispering, “You two are beautiful together. Protect that.”
Pierre almost tackled me in the hallway. “You said nothing in the driver’s lounge? Rude.”
He had always been like another brother to me.
Esteban handed me a croissant like it was a wedding gift.
And Sebastian Vettel, who just happened to be visiting that weekend, pulled Lando into a firm, fatherly hug and said, “She’s brilliant. You’re lucky.”
But it was the moment with Max that made me laugh the hardest.
He walked up with his arms crossed, glanced at my hand, and raised a brow. “Guess I lost the bet with Charles.”
I blinked. “You bet on us?”
“I said he’d wait until the off-season. Clearly, I underestimated his emotional impulsiveness.”
I turned to Lando. “That sounds like an insult.”
“It was,” Max said with a shrug, then smirked. “Congrats though. Genuinely.”
And then, of course, came the group photo.
The McLaren media team, never ones to miss a moment, pulled us both aside at golden hour behind the garage. Someone handed me a bouquet of orange pit boards tied with ribbon, and before i knew it, we were both posing, grinning like idiots, Lando’s arm around my waist and my hand—ring and all—pressed against his chest.
The caption was simple when they posted it:
“She said yes.”
I found Charles leaning against a pit wall, watching the sun sink low over the track.
“You okay?”I asked, sliding next to him.
He didn’t look at me right away. “You’re not my little sister anymore, you know.”
I nudged his shoulder. “Was I ever? It’s only four minutes, Cha.”
“Still feels like it sometimes,” he murmured. Then, after a pause, he added, “He makes you happy.”
I nodded. “He does.”
“Then I’m happy too.”
He finally turned to look at me—his eyes a little glassy, though he’d never admit it.
“But if he messes it up…”
“I know,” I grinned. “You’ll ruin his life.”
Charles smirked. “Exactly.”
dr_jules_leclerc is with lando
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dr_jules_leclerc : can’t wait to spend forever with you
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{caption ; my sister is getting married!! time to start wedding planning}
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lando : she is an angel- so perfect
alexandrasaintmleux : truly!
part four done! let me know what you guys think — requests always open. thank you for all the support 💐💐
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chevroletdean · 2 days ago
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Bean There, Done That
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nsfw prompts, send in a character + a number
PAIRING: Soldier Boy (Ben) x Fem!Reader GENRE: Smut (18+ CONTENT) TO NOTE/WARNINGS: Horny!Ben being his own warning, oral (fem receiving), mentions of male receiving oral, unprotected p in v (wrap it), creampie, hickeys and bitemarks and bruises, rough sex, manhandling, dirty talk WORD COUNT: 2k PROMPT: 17) seeing the love marks they left on their partner later and getting turned on all over again remember how it got there in the first place A/N: In honor of my coffee machine finally arriving. After 8 days without a proper cup, I can run on bean juice again, hooray! Thanks a ton to the lovely @justwhisperingfantasies for requesting AND betareading <3 <3 <3 CREDIT & LINKS: dividers by cafekitsune ─〃★ join the taglist ─〃★ Soldier Boy Masterlist
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When Ben woke up, it was thanks to the waft of coffee emitting from the kitchen. Grumbling, he sat up and glanced towards the clock.
10:32 AM
Though that counted as sleeping in, he definitely didn’t get much rest last night. The clothes that were scattered all over the floor were enough proof of that. Among them, a pair of lace panties, torn apart.
Maybe he should feel bad about that one, but all he could muster was a proud smirk as he remembered ripping it off you just a couple of hours ago.
He quickly realized two things were missing from the picture— one being his jersey, which he was sure must’ve ended up somewhere among the pile; and more importantly… you.
Slipping out of bed and into his boxers and robe, Ben followed the trail of freshly brewed arabica. The sight he was met with beat any pirate’s lame treasure hunt.
You were standing at the counter, idly humming to yourself while you cut up a handful of strawberries. With your back facing him, you haven’t noticed him yet.
All the more time for him to appreciate the view.
His sharp eyes wandered up your long, bare legs, stopping briefly at the hem of a familiar shirt. Ah, so that’s where his jersey went.
The material was flowing down your body effortlessly, covering you up to around your upper thighs. He’d be lying if the idea of you wearing nothing underneath to cover the fat of your ass and your pretty pussy didn’t get him half-hard again already.
Baggy as your choice of attire was, it hung loose around your neckline. You’d swept your hair out of the way, into a messy ponytail—one he could already picture grabbing tightly to push your little mouth down his girth, much like last night.
Pink and purple constellations peeked through. Distinct marks, clearly the outline of his teeth.
He stepped closer to your unsuspecting form, hands already twitching to touch you again.
“Morning, sunshine,” Ben hummed at last, the gravel of his voice still raspy and deep from just waking up properly.
Honestly, his brain was still a but foggy, whereas other parts of his body were wide awake in comparison.
You flinched slightly, though your tension eased immediately as your eyes met his over your shoulder.
His smile was easy, his green eyes dropping to the curve of your lips. Even at the morning after he could still vividly remember them stretching over his length, glistening with spit as you had drooled all over his cock.
“What’s the rush today?” Ben asked, whilst his big arms caged you in, one hand on each side of you gripping the edge of the counter. “Didn’t want to stay in bed with me a bit longer, princess?”
“Thought I would make some breakfast,” you replied with a smile that was both shy and cheeky. “Was gonna bring it back to bed.”
He was all muscle and skin behind you, pressing against you until the kitchen counter bit into your hips.
“I think I know what I wanna have for breakfast,” Ben purred. His breath was hot and heavy against your neck, sending shivers down your spine. His teeth grazed your tender skin, teasing the bruises and lovebites until you whimpered softly.
Who knew there was an artist in Ben on top of all that superstrength? How else could one describe the canvas of your skin, littered in hickeys?
Before you even had a chance of reacting, Ben shoved the bowl of fruit out of the way and seized you by the hips.
“Turn ‘round for me, dollface,” he demanded, despite manhandling you into his desired position himself.
He spun you in his arms, then lifted you up with ease, sitting you up on the counter. The cool marble surface was a stark contrast against your warm skin, even more so as your bare cunt brushed against it and you flushed further.
Wasting no more time, Ben’s large hands flew to your thighs and spread you open.
Much like your throat, your inner thighs were plastered in evidence of last night’s escapades. A scan of the red marks at the apex of your thighs would probably run successful, if anyone were to test his damn fingerprints. No wonder, considering how hard he had to grab you yesterday, hold you down so you wouldn’t fly off the mattress thanks to his tongue devouring you.
His cock twitched in to life in his boxers just reminiscing over your taste. Definitely better than any fucking strawberry, much sweeter too.
Yeah, he was definitely right. Only breakfast he was interested in eating up was you.
“No panties, huh?,” he quipped, licking his lips.
You scoffed, though with a grin: “Kinda your fault, remember?”
“Touché, princess,” he chuckled and slipped his fingers beneath your shirt. His shirt. “Guess we’re even then, damn thief.”
“At least you can have it back,” you shrugged playfully, “my panties are gone forever.”
A laugh erupted from Ben then and a spark ignited in his eyes. “Good riddance, if you ask me,” he countered. “Not like you need them anyway, they’d only be in the way. I like you without them just fine.”
As if punctuating his statement, his fingers curled around the underside of your thighs, lifting your legs slightly. He sank down to his knees and pulled you closer, hoisting your legs over his shoulders.
And, Christ, you were already glistening, straight up honey for him to enjoy. Always so eager for him, taking whatever he decided to give you like a good girl. That’s what he loved about you. It was addictive.
To your surprise, he started slow—in the beginning, anyway. His lips brushed over the inner of your thigh, almost gently, coaxing a shaky exhale from you and giving you the chance to relax in his grip.
“Thank the Lord for a good fuckin’ meal, or whatever,” he muttered, though he was talking more to himself.
You were only able to cry out weakly as he dove right in, his wet tongue gliding through your folds like he was a man starved. One of your hands shot to his head, fisting his tousled hair as he slurped away.
You moaned his name like it was something holy, although you were his altar he worshipped on his knees.
“Fuck, sweetheart,” he rasped, briefly kissing your sensitive clit. “Swear, this pussy ‘s better than coffee.”
Your thighs were trembling around his head. Your body honestly still ached from hours of Soldier Boy pounding into you, the smallest touch leaving you sizzling. His stamina was downright cruel and you thought it quite unfair that he was already back to full energy while you struggled to contain your first orgasm.
He had barely touched you, but you were already embarrassingly close to crumbling.
You were sensitive still, which Ben used to his advantage.
He lapped at your core once again, tongue flat against your heat and milking you dry. Just before the tight coil in your lower belly could snap, he pulled back, leaving you all whiny and breathless.
“You know I usually like my coffee black,” he spoke as he rose back to his feet, standing tall between your shaking legs and pulling his boxers down just enough to free his throbbing dick. “But I think I wanna add some cream today.”
Ben guided the tip through your slick a few times, teasing and coating himself in your essence. You bucked your hips to meet his touch, desperate to finally feel him fill you. When he did, you gasped audibly, leaving your mouth open and vulnerable for his kiss.
You blushed tasting yourself on his mouth, still fresh and tangy.
He claimed your lips in a heated kiss, teeth colliding and tongues pressing hungrily. All while thrusting in and out of you relentlessly. He pawed at your hips, your waist, everywhere he could reach. Because what where a couple more fingerprints added to the ones that already decorated you? The evidence of you belonging to him. The more the merrier.
Though you struggled to sit upright, you knew Ben had a good hold on you. Your arms snaked around his neck and he took it upon himself to slip his hands under your ass, lift you off the counter, and carry you back to bed. Instinctively, your legs wrapped around him in the process.
Once there, the two of you collapsed onto the mattress, still a tangle of limbs, neither of you knowing where one body began and the other ended.
Ben pushed you down and slammed into you. Hard. Your back arched, your moans echoing off the bedroom walls. Your neighbors must’ve hated you—first you were robbing them of a peaceful night, now you were at it again, like rabbits.
The drag of his cock against your velvety walls was delicious, stroke for stroke making you see stars and every fiber of you tighten.
Ben’s gaze dropped down to where your bodies were connected, mesmerized by the sight of him sinking into you over and over again. As much as he had to give, you were taking all of it, which never failed to impress him. You always accommodated his size so well, getting stretched inch for inch, as if you were shaped for his cock.
“Christ on a cross, ‘s like you were made for me, huh?”
Your eyes rolled to the back of your skull, which was, bluntly put, swiped clear at this point. Fucked stupid, you didn’t have it in you to produce a coherent thought, let alone form a proper sentence. All you felt, all you were at that moment, was the impact of his hips against yours, the pleasure building in your middle.
What a beautiful mess he’d turned you into, eyes glazed over with tears pricking their corners, swollen lips parted yet only able to spill broken moan after broken moan.
When Ben slipped his hand between your lower halves and let his thumb rub tight circles over your clit, you were gone. Shuttering, you almost spasmed under him, convulsing and crying and falling apart right then and there.
You reaching your climax triggered Ben’s own peak, his hips chasing his high in the warmth of your walls. One more thrust and he followed shortly after, stilling his hips and spilling deep within you.
After riding out both of your orgasms, he dropped down next to you. The sweat sticking to his forehead did not dull the glow of his expression whatsoever. He turned to you, as if admiring his artwork. His grin was wide and proud, the white of his teeth nearly blinding you in the best way possible.
“Gotta say, sweetheart,” he declared. “I could start every day with a breakfast like this.”
Your attempt at catching your breath was interrupted by your own soft laughter. That guy was truly insatiable. Not that you’d have it any other way.
“I guess our actual breakfast is long cold now, though,” you huffed, less disappointed and more bemused.
“Here’s a deal for ya,” Ben started with a wink. “I get my jersey back, you get your coffee. Hot.”
With a snort, you shook your head. Not only had you never seen Ben actually operate the coffee machine, ever, you also saw his offer for what it truly was. You knew what would happen if you were so much as lift the hem of that jersey again.
“And, what? Risk myself turning into another round of dessert the second I return your shirt?”
Ben’s proud grin widened, his eyes heavy on you as he scanned you from head to toe, as if assessing the suggestion. He then shrugged playfully. It definitely sounded like a win-win in his book. “What can I say, I might make myself a career as a salesman after all, don’t ya think?”
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Soldier Boy (Ben) Taglist:
@alwaysdaydreamingoffiction @angelicjackles @blueschevy @jackles010378 @jollyhunter
@justwhisperingfantasies @ladykitana90
Want to be added to the taglist? Fill out this >FORM< Want to be removed from the taglist? Send a DM Not sure if you're on the taglist? Check here
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strwberri-milk · 2 days ago
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Hi! If it's okay with you i'd like to request a fic/reaction of the lads men to encountering reader's ex? If not all, could it be Zayne? Given how he's shown treats/reactions of being jealous/possesive, i'd love to see how you portray that since you're really good at being True to canon, you have a very good understanding of the characters, their lore, and you explain yourself really well, I enjoy your writings a lot😚
thank you <3 im glad that youre into the way i portray them! im not like, perfect but i like to think i have a good understanding of the charas lolo - also, this i sjust for zayne! i am trying to guide people to sending less characters/ask bc honetly, doing five, and eventually six per ask when they add another LI is gonna be too exhuasting - im already not liking five lolol
Zayne is very confident in his relationship with you but that doesn't mean he doesn't get jealous. He's very good at keeping himself composed but meeting your ex doesn't actually really intimidate him too much.
He's going to be a little extra affectionate with you but in a subtle way that doesn't make it seem like he's being possessive of you. He wants to show off to your ex how much happier you are with him than you were before. He's very smug about it, coming up behind you and acting totally dense as you introduce your ex to him.
He casually introduces himself as the youngest cardiac surgeon at a prestigious hospital, making sure that he's bragging about his achievements in a way that your ex can see that Zayne himself isn't very surprised that he's done so well. That this level of excellence is standard in his life - further intimidating your ex.
He keeps an arm around your waist and gives you a soft look that he's never really aware he has when it only comes to you. He smiles and laughs whenever you say something, his attention solely on you and you're so used to him being this attentive that your ex just feels a little awkward and definitely like they're interrupting something. They'd leave out of sheer awkwardness, seeing the way he looks at you and how obvious it is that you're madly in love with Zayne.
Zayne's going to consider this a win, knowing that your ex is going to have second thoughts about seeing you again now that they know who you're going home to. He knows that even if his accolades aren't impressive, he's considered fairly attractive which is definitely intimidating when paired with his height.
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noshametempo · 15 hours ago
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OHMYGOD, SIBIIIII
I am soooo sad that I didnt read this story before: its pure gold! But glad that now i'm getting into it🤭🤌
First of all, I am not sure when you published tequila sunrise, but its clear that you have always had a talent for writing and it has only kept getting better and better 💖.
I must say that I was shocked by the first impression of Kook, like, him being so rude it was something so new cause I'm used to you describing him as a sweetie<3 (which he is jsjs) and out of nowhere he has this attitude? it was interesting, ngl. But I liked even more the character development: he tried his hardest to not run away from his feelings and I know how hard that can be, so it was nice to read it.
And talking about new personalities: Tae at the party?!?! Girl, I was terrified and not in a good way lol, but to know he was dealing with drugs explained everything and made me worry for him :(, hopefully he will get through it succesfully!
And in general I love the secondary characters: Yoongi being all tatted up 🤤, Hobi as a past fuckbuddy 🤭, and Jimin as oc's bff! ✨ Like hell yes, these are characters that truly add to the plot!
... and I'm gonna say it: oc is so damn hot 🥴, like I was truly shaking with Kook when she was flirting and teasing, I don't know how I made it out alive ifjendisv
In general, I gotta say that this story was so great to read! It has the perfect amount of romance, fluff, angst, and I would definitely buy this book if it was on physical version 💖.
The first kiss at the ferris was so freaking damn cute🥺, and the last chapter was, holy cow😳, so damn mind-blowing that I can't wait to read the rest of the story! Thank you for writing it, Sibi!
Sending you lots of love and a well deserved rest! ❤️
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↳ Index [#05 Chapter 05]
Genre: Smut it’s so filthy y’all 
Warnings: Switch!Jungkook, Switch!Reader, dirty talk a lot of it, JK is so vocal ffs, oral sex, public sex in different places, protected sex, rough sex, pain kink, nipple & piercing play fcuk, sex against a wall, sex in a hotel room aye, they are so loud jesus christ, it’s so nasty (in a good way) like wow okay, orgasm denial, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, talks of anal sex, mentions of blood, can I please have this Jungkook wreck me? thank you
Wordcount: 11k
a/n: what a way to end this story jsjjsjs I thought it only fitting, JK has been doing far too many things to me lately so blame him for this jsjsjs 🤪 no on a real note, thank you so much reading this story, it really means a lot to me 🥺💜
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You swallow nervously, holding your breath. What is Jungkook thinking?
“No not at all”, he finally says, “I was just kind of worried that Jimin would say no and Yoongi would get hurt”, he confesses. It is pretty obvious in the way he says their names that he isn’t actually talking about them, but instead about himself. 
Relief washes over you, so he is just worried that you would say no. You’ve never felt so relieved before, it feels like your heart can beat freely again.
“He would also get hurt if he didn’t ask, at least now there is still a very high chance that Jimin will actually join him”, you tell him, grinning.
"So you are sure Jimin will join him?”
“Yes I am sure." 
"But what if Jimin regrets it? What if their relationship will crumble down without even having really started yet? What if they will end up hating each other, instead of having the summer of their lives?” Jungkook gnaws on his lower lip, eyes racing over your features nervously.
"I guess they just have to risk that. Worrying about the “what ifs” and not doing anything will ruin their relationship either way. So I think it’s really cool of Yoongi to ask Jimin." 
"Cool, cool. Yeah, very cool”, Jungkook leans back and turns his head to watch the movie instead. 
It is obvious that he isn’t watching however, instead he is busy sorting through his thoughts. Will he ask you now? You basically served him the perfect opportunity to do so. You made it perfectly clear that you weren’t talking about Yoongi and Jimin either but about yourself and you know Jungkook is clever enough to have figured it out by now. 
“Can I tell you something?” he finally asks. 
“Yes tell me." 
"I’m actually not that hardcore worried about Yoongi’s relationship, I just kind of wanted you to tell me what you think of that entire situation”, he confesses. 
“I know." 
"Wha-?” he squeaks, “What do you mean you know?" 
Seguir leyendo
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captain-huggy-bear · 3 days ago
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Congrats on 1k! It is so well deserved, I absolutely adore your writing <3
I’d love to request "What I'm trying to say is... I like you." + Quinn Hughes
Thank you <3
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Ahh, thank you, lovely! I hope enjoy this one too <3 xx 1000 Followers Celly Currently ongoing 🥳🎉 Big requests/full fic/big idea requests are closed at the moment but drabble and prompt requests are still open. Writing Masterlist
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Quinn has walked you to your front door after spending the day with you. A rare occurrence for Quinn mid-season, to have time to go out and about around Vancouver with you. You'd missed your friend as the season had gotten more and more intense. You understood of course, but it was nice to spend an entire day with him, not just passing minutes or an hour here or there.
"This was nice..." Quinn has his hands pressed into his pockets, beanie pulled over his curls that had started to grow out a little long. He's lingering, he knows he is, but he can't help it as he tries to say what he's thinking...without saying it.
"Yeah, it was nice." The smile you give him is oblivious, happy to have seen your friend as you unlock your front door and stand in the doorway.
"We should...we should do this again sometime?" God, he sucks at this, a hand coming up to rub the back of his neck like he's a school kid asking you to the school dance. Except it's not as obvious is it? Who says 'we should do this again sometime?'? Who says that?
"Yeah, I'd like that. You know I like spending time with you, Quinn...you're just really busy, y'know?" You sigh a little and he knows he's kind of dropped off the radar. Sure, he phones and he texts and he tries to make time for coffee, but it's not the same when he has to run out of every meet up within 40 minutes and every phone call is cut short.
But he also knows he makes more of an effort for you than most people. He tries to still see you, talk to you because he can't imagine not. "Yeah, but for you I can make time." The smile he sends your way is sweet, it sets your stomach fluttering but you remind yourself this is Quinn. He's not interested in you, never has been...you're just friends. As much as you wish you were more.
"Awww, that's sweet, but you don't have to."
"You're not...you're not getting it, huh?" Quinn rubs his brow, sighing because fuck, is he being vague or are you just oblivious? He thinks he's been pretty obvious over the years about how he feels, you're the only constant woman in his life that isn't a colleague or family.
"Getting what?"
"What I'm trying to say is... I like you." There, he's said it, he thinks. It's off his chest. He likes you and if you don't like him back that's fine...he can handle that, but he's done it.
"I like you too." Except the way you smile at him is still oblivious, sweet and it's obvious that you don't get what he's putting down, not picking it up in the slightest.
Quinn lets out the loudest sigh yet, head dropping back as he wills himself to just rip the band aid off, to just be clear with you and stop this painful miscommunication that's actually going to kill him.
"No, fuck. Sweetheart...I'm in love with you."
The way you freeze does not fill him with joy, if anything he feels sick to the stomach. Your smile drops, not into a frown, just drops. The shock evident on your face as you blink at him like that'll help you process what he's just said to you.
"...What?" You take a step forward and that alone gives him some hope, some confidence to keep going.
"I'm in love with you and when I say we should spend time together, I mean I want to take you on a date. When I say I can make time for you, I mean I want to make time for you because I want you to be mine. You understand what I'm trying to say?" By the end he's red in the face, breathless because he barely took a breath the entire spiel...and you're looking at him in a new light, a little smile starting, glowing almost.
"Oh...yeah. I get what you're saying." Your smile becomes a grin and it's enough, it's enough to keep that little flame of hope alive, enough for him to put all his cards on the table and hope for the best.
"So, can I take you on a date?"
Quinn licks his bottom lip, an old nervous habit, as he waits. It's seconds but it feels like minutes until you respond.
"Yeah, you can take me on a date."
Neither of you know how to act. Just stood there grinning at each other like idiots, like two friends who like each other a whole lot more, who just admitted it but have no idea how you're supposed to behave in that scenario.
"Cool...cool, see you later?" His wave is awkward, ridiculous because usually he'd hug you goodbye, but you wave back just as awkward and that somehow makes him feel a little better. That he's not the only one unsure how to navigate this.
"See you later."
He waits until you're in your house, door closed, before he walks off. You immediately rush to your window to watch him as he leaves. You catch the way he fist pumps the air, how he jumps with a new sort of skip in his step that has you giggling, even more so when he turns to look back at your house and catches your eye, flushing bright red at being caught.
Yeah...neither of you know how to act and maybe it's weird right now, but you think maybe it'll be alright in the long run. Afterall, Quinn Hughes loves you.
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moonlitstoriess · 1 day ago
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Could I request an angst to fluff fic for Cassian? The plot can be whatever you want, I can’t think rn
Make It Right- Cassian x fem!reader oneshot
Summary: On Y/N’s birthday, Cassian forgets the special day, caught up in the chaos of the world around them. Hurt and disappointed, Y/N tries to hide her feelings, but Cassian soon realizes his mistake. What follows is a heartfelt apology, and a love that reminds them both that sometimes, making things right takes more than just words.
A/N: Tomorrow is my birthday, yay!! 🥳 This is a little early birthday post I'm sending your way, hoping that you will enjoy it<3 Thank you for the request anon!
See masterlist
Warnings: Angst at first, cassian being an idiot
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Y/N woke with a soft stretch, the warmth of sunlight streaming through the window and brushing her face. Today was the day—her birthday. She had woken up with a fluttering excitement in her chest, a smile already forming as she thought of the plans, the laughter, the quiet moments she might share with Cassian.
Her fingers brushed against the empty side of the bed.
Furrowing her brow, Y/N glanced at the space beside her. Cassian wasn't there, and for a moment, she wondered if he had gotten up early for training. But no, that didn't seem right. It wasn’t like him to leave without a word.
Her gaze wandered to the small table beside the bed, where a piece of parchment caught her eye. Cassian’s familiar handwriting sprawled across it, and her heart fluttered. Maybe he was just up to something… maybe it was a surprise.
With a little smile, she reached for the letter and unfolded it carefully, her eyes scanning the words.
My Love, I’ve gone up to the Illyrian camps for a few hours to speak with the warriors about some new strategies we need to implement. You know how it goes—these things are never quick. But I’ll be back before you know it. I know you’re probably still sleeping, so I’ll let you get your rest and will see you soon. I love you more than words can say. I can’t wait to see you later.
Yours forever, Cassian
Y/N blinked at the letter. There was no mention of her birthday. Not a single word about the day that should’ve meant something special between them. Her heart sank just a little, the fluttering excitement slowly replaced with an unfamiliar heaviness. She sat there for a moment, staring at the letter, wondering if she'd missed something, if she was misreading it.
But no, there it was in black ink—nothing about today.
Sighing quietly, she set the letter back down and ran a hand through her hair. Maybe he had something planned. Maybe he was just working on a surprise. Cassian always had a way of doing things in his own time, in his own way. He wouldn’t forget, right?
It was only a few hours, after all. He’d come back, and they’d spend the day together. Maybe he was just setting up something grand for later. Maybe he was waiting to make the moment perfect.
She took a deep breath, pushing the little pang of disappointment aside. He loves me, she reminded herself. He always does.
With that, Y/N stood, smoothing the wrinkles from her clothes and moving toward the window. She still had hope. Cassian was always full of surprises, and she knew, deep down, that he wouldn’t let today slip by without showing her just how much she meant to him.
Right?
The morning passed in a blur of warm wishes and gentle laughter, but still, Y/N couldn’t shake the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach. The Inner Circle had been kind—so kind—and she was deeply grateful for their love and friendship. Rhys and Feyre had, without hesitation, invited everyone to the River House for a breakfast celebration in her honor. It was a gesture that spoke volumes, and it made her heart swell with affection. The beauty of their bond—of how they all looked out for one another—was something she cherished deeply.
When she’d arrived at the River House, she was greeted with warm smiles, hugs, and laughter. Nesta, for all her quietness, gave her a genuine hug, and even smiled at her, a rare moment that made Y/N’s chest tighten with appreciation. Amren had actually let out a small compliment—something about Y/N’s hair looking especially “charming today,” which made Y/N laugh.
The table was filled with an array of foods, a spread fit for royalty, and there was an undeniable sense of warmth in the air. Feyre had gone out of her way to make sure everything was perfect—her usual artistic flair evident in the way the food was arranged, the flowers placed just so on the table.
But even as the smiles and laughter surrounded her, as they all joked and ate together, there was an ache within her that refused to fade. She couldn’t help but feel a little hollow without Cassian by her side, his absence growing more pronounced as the day wore on. She couldn’t push the thought from her mind—why hadn’t he been here to wish her a happy birthday? Why wasn’t he here now?
Her eyes kept drifting over to the window, the soft breeze moving the curtains gently as though calling her attention to the world outside. She had expected him to show up at any moment, maybe swooping down from the skies in his usual fashion, grinning like a fool and pulling her into his arms, apologizing for being late with a cocky smirk. But no. He hadn’t come. And worse yet, he hadn’t even checked in through their bond, hadn’t sent even a whisper of a thought to her. It was unlike him, and it stung more than she cared to admit.
She tried to focus on the joy of the moment. She really did. She was surrounded by people who loved her. Her friends, her family—each one of them expressing their joy for her in their own unique ways. Nesta had even offered her a gift, something she’d made herself—woven from fine, shimmering strands of thread—and Y/N had been touched beyond measure. Amren’s usual sharp smile seemed more genuine today, her eyes glinting with something softer than usual. And Feyre, as always, had a way of making her feel special—her quiet words of gratitude and love making Y/N’s heart swell.
Azriel, ever the quiet and observant one, had given her a rare smile when he raised his glass to her. His dark eyes held a warmth that she didn’t often see, his gruff exterior slipping just a little in the presence of the people he cared about. Y/N couldn’t help but feel a sense of comfort from the shadowsinger, his support steady and unspoken, as always.
Elain, with her gentle kindness, had hugged her tightly when they first arrived, speaking softly about how much she admired her strength and how happy she was to be a part of the day. The warm sincerity in Elain’s words had made Y/N’s heart ache—she could always rely on her to brighten any room with her peaceful presence.
And then there was Mor. A force of nature in her own right, the bright, bold smile on Mor’s face never seemed to fade. She’d given Y/N a gift, a beautiful piece of jewelry that shimmered with a kind of magic. Mor’s exuberance was infectious, pulling everyone into her orbit, filling the space with laughter and light. She had gone out of her way to make Y/N feel like a queen today, fussing over every detail and making sure Y/N knew just how much she meant to the entire Court.
Each one of them had done their best to make today feel special. They were all here, surrounding her with love and light, and yet... Cassian’s absence loomed over it all, a shadow she couldn’t shake.
She reached for her glass, taking a sip, but her thoughts kept drifting. Maybe he’ll come back soon. She told herself again and again, trying to quell the disappointment. But the longer she sat there, the more she realized something: He wasn’t here. And he wasn’t even thinking about her. The bond between them was silent. No whispers, no gentle pull on her heart. She kept waiting for a flicker of warmth, some kind of connection—but there was nothing.
She pushed the thoughts aside for a moment when Mor raised her glass, calling everyone’s attention to make another toast in her honor. The cheerful clink of glasses around her made her smile, and she tried to focus on the love and laughter in the room. He’s not here right now, she thought, forcing herself to believe it. But I’m still loved. I am loved.
Azriel’s low voice cut through her thoughts, his words aimed at her but spoken with that quiet intensity only he could manage. “Don’t let today be overshadowed by his absence. You’re not alone, Y/N. We’re all here.”
Y/N met his gaze, his deep, steady eyes holding hers. She felt a little lighter, the weight of her worries lifting just slightly. You’re right, she thought, her heart grateful for his reminder. And yet… her mind couldn’t help but wonder, Why wasn’t Cassian here to remind me himself?
As the morning wore on, the atmosphere in the River House felt warm and alive with chatter, music, and the clinking of glasses. Y/N continued to do her best to push away the dull ache that kept settling in her chest, trying to enjoy the celebration for what it was. It wasn’t as though she didn’t appreciate everything her friends were doing for her. They had all been kind and thoughtful, their efforts unmistakable.
But still, she couldn’t quiet the little voice in the back of her mind. Cassian’s absence. The unanswered questions.
It was when Rhys approached her, a gift in hand, that her thoughts were interrupted. He gave her a knowing smile, his eyes gleaming with that familiar warmth. “Happy birthday, Y/N,” he said softly, offering her the small, beautifully wrapped package.
“Thank you, Rhys,” she replied, her smile sincere as she accepted the gift. She’d always adored Rhys’ sense of humor and his ability to bring light into any room, but today… her mind wasn’t fully there. She carefully unwrapped the present, revealing a small, intricate bracelet—crafted from what appeared to be moonstone, its pale light catching the sunlight in a way that made it shimmer like stars. “It’s beautiful,” she murmured, touched by his thoughtfulness.
Rhys smiled, watching her with a quiet kind of affection. “I thought it might remind you that even when it feels like someone’s missing, you’re still a part of something bigger. The stars will always be there, just like us.”
Y/N’s heart swelled at his words. “Thank you, Rhys.”
He leaned in a little closer, his voice dropping to a softer tone. “I’m sure Cassian is preparing something extraordinary for you today. Don’t let the silence fool you. He’s up to something.”
Hope bloomed in her chest, delicate at first, like a fragile flower testing the air for warmth. “It wasn’t you who sent him to the Illyrian camps, was it?”
Rhys chuckled, his eyes glinting with amusement. “Oh, definitely not. Why would I send him away knowingly on the day of his mate’s birthday?”
Y/N’s pulse quickened. Could it be that there had been a misunderstanding? Had Cassian been caught up in something unexpected? That seemed likely, didn’t it?
Rhys continued, his smile shifting to something more teasing. “He told me that the Illyrian camps had requested him—one of the commanders asked him personally. And I’m sure you know how those requests work. You don’t just say no to an Illyrian commander, especially when they come with an urgent matter. He also told me that he didn’t want Azriel to go since he already has too much on his plate.” Rhys paused, giving her a pointed look. “You know how it is. The more people you have, the more work piles up.”
Y/N nodded, still uncertain but feeling a spark of relief. So it wasn’t Rhys...
“But that’s not the only thing,” Rhys continued, his tone taking on a more knowing edge. “You know as well as I do that when you go up into the camps, you can’t come back before atleast a full day because of all that is going on there. He told me he’d be back by late afternoon. And trust me, he’s never one to be late when it comes to something important. Especially when it involves you. He’ll be here, Y/N. I’m sure of it.”
Y/N’s chest tightened as she processed his words. Cassian wouldn’t miss today. He wouldn’t let me down, not like this...
She looked up at Rhys, who was watching her with an intensity that told her he understood her internal struggle. “I know it’s hard, Y/N. But you have to know this: he’s coming back. I’m sure he’s planning something incredible for you, just like he has every year since you have been mates. It’s just not the way you expected it.”
Her thoughts swirled. I should trust him. I should trust that Cassian loves me enough not to forget today... But her mind kept circling back to the letter. Maybe he really is just caught up in something. Maybe he’s doing everything he can to get back to me.
“Thank you, Rhys,” she whispered, feeling a little lighter. She hoped he was right, hoped that Cassian would return with the grand gesture she was waiting for.
Rhys gave her a wink. “Anytime, Y/N. You deserve all the love in the world. Don’t let today slip by with doubts.”
As Rhys moved back to join the others, Y/N let the words linger in her mind. He’s coming back… he has to be.
But still, a part of her remained uncertain. What if there was more to this than just a simple delay? What if he’s forgotten entirely?
For now, though, she’d wait. She’d trust in the love they shared, in the bond that had always connected them, even when the distance felt unbearable.
As the hours passed, the River House buzzed with life and laughter. Y/N tried her best to keep her smile in place, to enjoy the company of those around her, but it was hard to ignore the absence of the one person she had been waiting for all day.
The birthday breakfast had come and gone, and now the afternoon stretched out before her, warm and full of promise—yet empty without Cassian’s presence. She was surrounded by friends, all of them who cared for her deeply, but somehow, it all felt incomplete.
Azriel and Mor had spent the afternoon lounging outside, talking quietly about their latest missions, their voices low and private. Nesta had wandered off for a while, clearly needing some time alone, but she’d made sure to hug Y/N tightly before slipping away. Feyre had suggested a walk through the gardens, a calm, peaceful escape that allowed them to chat more privately, and Y/N was grateful for the distraction. They’d discussed everything and nothing—how Feyre was adjusting to being a mother, how Y/N had been feeling about the latest changes in the Night Court—but the whole time, her thoughts kept drifting back to the empty space beside her.
Her eyes had lingered on the door, half-expecting to see Cassian come striding through it, his laughter booming in that familiar way, his arms wide to pull her into his embrace. But each time, her hope was met with nothing but the quiet hum of the house.
By the time the afternoon sun began to dip toward evening, Y/N had retreated to a corner of the house, seated in a comfortable chair by the window, looking out at the vast expanse of the world beyond. The river glittered in the fading sunlight, the gentle lapping of the water against the bank providing a quiet soundtrack to her restless thoughts.
She absentmindedly fiddled with the bracelet Rhys had given her, tracing her fingers over the smooth, cool surface. It was a beautiful gift—something she’d treasure forever—but right now, it felt like a reminder of how little she truly had today. She had expected so much more.
She was no stranger to the chaos of Cassian’s life, to the unpredictability of his role as General. She knew that sometimes, his responsibilities pulled him away from her. She’d always understood that. But today… today felt different. Today felt like it should’ve been the day—the one where he set aside everything else to focus on her. To remind her how much she meant to him.
Her thoughts drifted again to that damn letter from the morning. She could still picture the simple words, how they hadn’t even mentioned the significance of the day. Was he really too busy? Was it just bad timing?
A soft, familiar presence appeared at the edge of her thoughts, and she felt the lightest flutter through their bond—a tiny whisper, like a fleeting breath in the back of her mind. It was just a brush, a flicker. But it was enough to make her heart race, enough to make her wonder if perhaps Cassian was finally reaching out.
But no. It was gone almost as quickly as it came.
“Y/N?” Feyre’s voice broke through her reverie, and Y/N turned to find her standing at the edge of the room, watching her with gentle concern in her eyes. “You okay? You’ve been awfully quiet.”
Y/N forced a smile. “Yeah, just thinking.”
Feyre stepped closer, sitting on the edge of the windowsill beside her. “I know it’s hard, waiting for Cassian. But you have to know he’s going to be here soon. He wouldn’t miss today for the world."
Y/N nodded, but the words felt hollow. She appreciated Feyre’s attempt at reassurance, but it didn’t change the emptiness that had settled into her bones.
“I’m sure you’re right,” Y/N murmured, looking down at her hands, where the bracelet rested against her wrist. “I just… I expected more today, you know? More of him. It’s hard not to feel like I’m being forgotten.”
Feyre reached over, gently squeezing Y/N’s hand in hers. “Cassian doesn’t forget. Not about you, not about your worth. I know you know that, deep down. But his responsibilities… they take over sometimes.”
Y/N didn’t say anything, but her heart felt heavy with the truth of Feyre’s words. She knew this. She had always known how demanding Cassian’s work was. Yet, in this moment, none of that seemed to ease the ache in her chest.
They sat in silence for a moment, the quiet of the room thick between them.
“Well, if it’s any consolation,” Feyre said after a beat, “Rhys and I were talking earlier. He’s certain Cassian is planning something spectacular. He wouldn’t let this day go by without making it up to you, I promise.”
Y/N gave a small, shaky smile. “I hope you’re right.”
Feyre patted her hand. “Come on, let’s go join the others. The day’s not over yet, and I’m sure Cassian has something up his sleeve. Just you wait.”
Y/N nodded again, standing with Feyre and following her back toward the main part of the house, though her heart still felt heavy. She tried to lose herself in conversation with the others as they discussed plans for the evening, but every time the door creaked open or a breeze brushed past, her hope flickered once again.
Cassian would come, wouldn’t he?
-----
Cassian stood at the edge of the Illyrian camp, his eyes scanning the horizon, watching as his warriors trained, sparred, and carried out their duties. It was the sort of day he dreaded—endless, relentless, and filled with the tension of an impending conflict that threatened to boil over at any moment.
It had all started about a month ago, when he’d received the urgent message from one of the northern commanders. At the time, Cassian delayed coming over himself, choosing to send his trusted men instead. It was also because the communication had come at the worst possible time—just as he was looking forward to a few days of peace, maybe even a quiet evening with Y/N.
However, everyday the commander had kept asking for Casian himself, being very clear: the camps were on the brink of full-scale warfare, and they needed someone who could keep things in order before the situation got worse. And so, Cassian had packed up quickly, his mind focused only on getting things under control. The sooner he got in, the sooner he could return. He had promised himself that it would only be a few hours—perhaps a day at most. After all, how bad could it be?
But of course, as it always did, the situation had escalated.
In the last month, every plan he’d tried to set in motion had been thwarted by a new complication. A new leader from one of the factions had challenged his authority, a skirmish had broken out on the eastern border, and just when Cassian thought things were settling down, word came that another territory was in dispute.
Now, here he was, surrounded by the sounds of clashing metal and the low hum of warriors calling orders, his hands wrapped tightly around the hilt of his sword as he surveyed the chaos. His mind was elsewhere, though—not with the men around him or the reports he was reading—but with her. Y/N.
He hadn’t forgotten her—he could never forget her. She was always in his thoughts, even now as he stood in the midst of battle preparations. But the more he thought of her, the more his frustration built. Damn it all, he thought to himself, running a hand through his dark hair. He was supposed to be with her, not stuck here in this endless mess. He had no idea how things had gotten so far out of hand, but there was no turning back now.
He’d hoped the day would be simple. He’d figured, a few hours at most, handle the worst of it, and then be back with her. Maybe they could have a quiet dinner, talk about the quiet things. But now, that hope seemed like a distant memory.
His mind drifted back to the report he’d just received. The situation with the northern factions had worsened. They were demanding reinforcements, and not just a few. This was the kind of situation where Cassian’s presence was absolutelynecessary. He couldn’t just leave it to the others; he had to see it through. The men under his command needed him.
But what about her?
A growl rumbled low in his throat, his frustration turning into a simmering rage. Cassian had thought that after a quick intervention, he’d be back to his mate, back to the woman who kept him grounded and whole. But that had been a naive thought, one that now felt like a cruel joke.
“General,” one of his commanders approached, his voice low and serious. “It’s not just the northern borders. We’ve got problems in the southern territories too. The peace talks fell apart. We’ll need to send someone there immediately.”
Cassian gritted his teeth. Three days. At least three days now. What the hell was he supposed to do? There was no way he could leave things in this state—not when things were this precarious.
“Dammit,” he muttered under his breath, pacing away from the group. He couldn’t even bring himself to speak to the commander again; his thoughts were too clouded, his anger too sharp. The worst part? No one here seemed to understand. They were all too focused on the battle, on the logistics of war, to see the way his heart was breaking with every passing second.
Cassian growled under his breath, his frustration boiling over. He had to stay for the next few days. There was no other option.
But Y/N would understand. Right?
----
Y/N did not, in fact, understand.
When she saw Rhys leave and come back with a letter in his hand, his expression serious and slightly sorrowful as he headed straight for Azriel, she knew something was wrong.
Feyre and Elain were beside her, their soft laughter and conversation swirling around like a gentle breeze, but Y/N barely heard any of it. Her eyes were fixed on the two males standing by the doorway, voices hushed but movements tight with frustration. Rhys’ brow was furrowed as he handed the note to Azriel, and Az ran a hand through his hair as he read it, wings twitching slightly behind him.
Her stomach sank.
It was the way Azriel’s jaw clenched. The way Rhys’ hand dropped to his side, fingers curling into a fist. The kind of body language that meant bad news. And neither of them had looked her way.
Feyre nudged her gently, drawing her back. “Y/N? You zoned out for a second there.”
“Oh—sorry,” Y/N murmured, blinking and trying to force a smile. “I’m listening.”
But she wasn’t. Not really. Because now Azriel had started speaking, fast and low, and Rhys wasn’t looking at him—he was looking at her.
That told her everything she needed to know.
She stood slowly, the movement enough to draw the attention of both males. Azriel glanced down at the note in his hand, then up at her, his expression unreadable. Rhys looked like he was preparing himself for something—his lips pressed together, a crease forming between his brows.
Y/N didn’t wait for them to come to her.
She crossed the room silently, her heart pounding louder with each step. She kept her voice steady when she stopped in front of them, even though it felt like her lungs had been replaced by lead.
“What is it?”
Rhys hesitated. Azriel looked to him, clearly unsure if he should speak, but then Rhys sighed quietly and extended the letter to her. “It’s from Cassian.”
She took it with slow fingers. The seal wasn’t the one he usually used for her—no wax in her favorite color, no scribbled heart in the corner like he sometimes added when he was feeling particularly smug or sweet. Just plain parchment, a rushed signature.
Her throat tightened before she even unfolded it.
It wasn’t long. A few brief sentences. A quick explanation. He’d been pulled deeper into the situation than expected. The camps were at each other’s throats. He couldn’t leave—not yet. Not for another few days. I will send news soon. Take care of Y/N for me.
No mention of what today was. Not even a line.
She didn’t realize how tightly her fingers were gripping the paper until Rhys gently reached out, his hand brushing her elbow. “Y/N—”
“It’s fine,” she said quickly, folding the letter with practiced calm. “He’s needed there. I get it.”
Neither Rhys nor Azriel looked convinced.
Feyre and Elain had gone quiet behind her. She could feel their concern, the heaviness in the room like a sudden shift in air pressure.
Y/N took a slow breath and looked out the window, blinking back the sting in her eyes. She had waited. All day. Told herself he was coming. That this wasn’t like him.
And maybe it wasn’t.
But the letter in her hand said otherwise.
Because it didn’t even say happy birthday.
And no matter how many times she told herself that Cassian loved her—that his duties were important, that Illyria needed him—there was a sharp, echoing silence in her chest where he should have been today.
Where his voice should’ve whispered through the bond, where his arms should’ve wrapped around her, where his presence should’ve reminded her that she mattered.
She swallowed tightly and turned away, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“I’m tired,” she murmured. “I think I’ll head home.”
“I don’t understand. How could he forget?” Rhys practically growled, pacing in the center of the room now. “Cassian has never—not once—missed her birthday. Every godsdamned year, he’s gone all out. The male made her a sunrise flight over the Sidra last year because she said she liked the color of the sky in the morning—”
“He always remembers,” Azriel cut in, his voice dark and tight with frustration. “He’s never been like this. Not with her.” His shadows curled tighter around his shoulders, restless and tense.
Feyre, standing near the window, arms folded, nodded slowly. “It’s not like him. Something’s not right. And even if he’s overwhelmed, even if Illyria is falling apart, there’s no way he doesn’t know what today is.”
“I’ll go to him,” Azriel said abruptly, already half-turned toward the door, his voice quiet but deadly. “I’ll tell him myself. I’ll show him that fucking letter and—”
“That idiot,” Mor muttered, appearing from the hallway with a sharp look in her golden eyes. “That idiot. She waited all day, Az. He should’ve been here. At least a godsdamned message.”
“I will make him listen,” Azriel continued, shadows snapping around his fists. “I’ll fly to him right now and—”
“Stop.”
Y/N’s voice was quiet, strained—but no one heard her. Or maybe they didn’t listen. The air was thick with indignation, protective fury, confusion.
“Stop,” she said again, a little louder, stepping further into the room. Still nothing.
Rhys was muttering about how he should’ve known, how he should’ve sent someone else to the camps. Feyre was pacing now. Even Elain, sweet Elain, had a worried furrow in her brow.
“Stop!”
The word cracked through the space like thunder.
Everyone froze.
The silence that followed was deafening. Y/N stood in the middle of the room now, chin high, fists clenched at her sides. Her breathing was steady, but the tremble in her fingers betrayed the storm inside her.
“No one,” she said, voice low but unyielding. “No one is going to say a word to him.”
Rhys opened his mouth to protest.
Y/N’s gaze cut to him with sharp precision, a warning that stopped him cold.
“I mean it,” she said firmly, looking at each of them in turn. “He needs to realize this himself. If any of you go running to tell him, if you scold him or guilt him or push him into some half-hearted apology… it won’t mean anything. He has to see it. He has to feel it. Not because you reminded him. Not because someone handed him the truth. Because he looked around, realized something was missing, and knew it was me.”
Azriel stepped forward, his jaw clenched. “Y/N, he loves you. He would never—”
“I know he loves me,” she said, gentler this time. “But love doesn’t excuse neglect. Love doesn’t mean never making mistakes. And I’m not mad that he’s busy. I understand his duty. But today? Today he forgot me. Not just the celebration—me.”
Elain opened her mouth, but closed it again with a sympathetic frown.
Y/N took a slow breath. “Please. It’s my birthday. And this is my wish. That none of you mention this to him. Let him come home on his own. Let him see the damage on his own. Let him fix it on his own.”
The silence returned, heavier now. And then, after a long pause, Rhys finally let out a breath, raking a hand through his hair.
“Very well,” he said quietly. “I will give him a few days to realize his mistake. But.” His violet eyes locked on hers. “There is no way in any world that I am letting you spend your birthday alone.”
Y/N’s lips parted, already forming a protest. “Rhys, really, I—”
“But nothing,” Feyre cut in, already taking Y/N’s hand. “We listened to you. Now you listen to us.”
“We’re your family too,” Elain said softly, stepping up on Y/N’s other side. “And you don’t deserve to sit in silence when there’s still joy to be found today.”
“The others will be back soon,” she added, already moving toward the doors leading to the terrace. “And we are not letting this day end with you hiding in a corner feeling forgotten.”
Before she could argue further, Feyre gave her hand a gentle tug. “Let’s go outside. Breathe. Laugh a little. Even if it’s just for a moment.”
Y/N nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat. She wasn’t sure she could laugh—not right now—but the way they looked at her, all of them, she knew they wouldn’t let her fall apart alone.
So she let them lead her toward the open doors and into the golden light of the setting sun, the scent of flowers on the breeze and the soft murmur of the Sidra below.
And even as she smiled for them, even as she tried to be present, there was still that hollow space inside her where he should’ve been.
Where Cassian should have been.
She didn’t even notice the tears at first. They came suddenly, soundless, slipping down her cheeks like they’d always belonged there. She was seated on a bench between Elain and Feyre, hands curled tightly in her lap, when it hit her again.
She didn’t speak. She just cried.
And neither sister said a word. Feyre looped an arm gently around her shoulders, drawing her into the curve of her body while Elain wrapped both hands around hers. They didn’t offer empty reassurances or tell her to cheer up. They didn’t need to. They simply sat with her, and that was enough.
Later, as the garden lights blinked to life and the air cooled, Nesta returned from Valkyrie mission—sharper than usual, but her expression softened the moment she saw Y/N. No questions. No demands. Just a nod of acknowledgment as she took the seat across from her and quietly passed over a little parcel wrapped in silver cloth. A gift she’d made herself—something small, personal, and thoughtful.
Amren appeared not long after, her hair swept back in a polished twist, the edges of her black coat fluttering around her like shadows. She sat beside Nesta with a huff, muttering about “tedious Court matters” and “being dragged into babysitting lesser fae politics,” but even she leaned over to ruffle Y/N’s hair with an uncharacteristically soft, “Happy birthday, girl. Don’t let the bat’s absence ruin it.”
And just when Y/N thought the night was over, Elain insisted they all follow her inside.
There, on the kitchen table, sat a cake.
Beautiful and slightly lopsided, covered in sugared wildflowers and soft frosting that shimmered faintly under the faelight. Elain had made it herself—had spent the past two nights sneaking time in the kitchens, hiding it from even Feyre. “I wanted to do something just for you,” she said shyly, and Y/N had nearly cried all over again
The rest of the day passed like a slow, strange dream.
They dined together after that. A warm, chaotic, makeshift dinner, thrown together by a dozen helping hands. Everyone gathered—those who had come and gone through the day returning for the final hours. They drank and toasted and teased one another with ridiculous, affectionate banter. Rhys told a story from centuries ago involving Cassian and a very unfortunate tree, and even Y/N had laughed until her ribs ached.
There were moments—fleeting ones—where she forgot the ache in her chest. Where the comfort of those around her dulled the sting enough that she could pretend everything was okay.
But only for a moment.
Because the ache always returned. It pulsed behind every laugh, every sip of wine, every flicker of candlelight.
Cassian hadn’t come. He hadn’t sent a message. He hadn’t said happy birthday. He had completely forgotten.
And no matter how kind the others were, how hard they tried to lift her up, his absence sat heavy on her chest like a stone.
Eventually, under Rhys and Feyre’s gentle insistence, she agreed to stay the night. They wouldn’t let her go home alone. Not like this. “Just take the guest room,” Feyre said softly. “Sleep. You don’t have to pretend anymore.”
Y/N agreed.
She closed the door behind her as quietly as she could. The room was warm, cozy, with soft throws and a little vase of fresh flowers on the nightstand—typical Feyre. Thoughtful to the end. She changed into the clothes someone had folded at the foot of the bed, washed her face slowly, and went through the motions of settling in.
She told herself not to cry again.
She had cried enough.
She folded her dirty clothes. Brushed out her hair. Lit a small candle with a flick of faelight. Tidied a nightstand that didn’t even belong to her.
She did everything except lie down.
But eventually, her limbs couldn’t carry her anymore.
Y/N slipped beneath the covers, curled onto her side, and stared out the window. The moon hung low and silver, casting light across the bed in quiet streaks.
And that was when her heart finally gave in.
The tears came again, thick and silent, slipping down her cheeks and into the pillow as she clutched it tighter to her chest. Her throat burned. Her ribs ached. She didn’t sob, didn’t make a sound—but the pain was all-consuming.
How had he forgotten her?
How had the one person who knew her better than anyone not felt how much this would break her?
She thought of his arms. His scent. His laugh. The way he always kissed her temple before bed. The way he used to whisper goodnight into her soul through the bond.
Tonight, there was nothing.
No whisper. No warmth.
Only the sound of her own quiet, broken breathing.
--------
Cassian ran a hand through his hair, muscles aching, exhaustion carved deep into every inch of his body. He hadn’t slept more than a few hours in the past three days—not with the Illyrian warbands breathing fire down each other’s throats. He’d been everywhere. Breaking up fights. Mediating screaming matches. Holding war councils that felt more like babysitting sessions for ancient, prideful warriors who couldn’t see past their own egos.
The tensions weren’t just high—they were explosive.
What had started as a two-camp territorial squabble had now grown into something far more dangerous. Old rivalries, wounded egos, unspoken grudges—everything was bubbling to the surface. Cassian had tried, Gods he had tried, to get ahead of it. But every solution he carved out only gave birth to two more problems. Every ceasefire threatened to collapse under the weight of centuries-old hate.
Still, he pressed on.
He was the General of the Night Court. This was his job. His burden.
And yet…
He had thought about her. Hundreds of times.
Y/N’s smile. Her laugh. The way she scrunched her nose when she read something she disagreed with. The way she always tucked herself into his side like she belonged there—because she did. Her warmth, her scent, the quiet weight of her in his arms every night.
But now, that warmth felt so far away. And worse, she was… closed off.
He had reached for her through the bond multiple times since arriving in the camps. And every time, it was like pressing his hand against a locked door. Her walls were up, impenetrable in a way they hadn’t been since the earliest days of their bond.
That had set something cold and uneasy in his chest.
So, he had reached out to Rhys.
“Is she alright?” he’d asked through their mental link, concern thick in his tone.
Rhys’ response had come slower than usual. Clipped. “She’s fine. She’s staying with us.”
That was it.
No warmth. No elaboration.
Cassian had tried to rationalize it. Maybe Rhys was just busy. Maybe Y/N was tired. Maybe she didn’t want to worry him. But it gnawed at him—sharp and growing. She hadn’t answered any of his letters, either. He’d written three. All of them long, thoughtful—pouring out everything he couldn’t say across the distance. And still… nothing.
He frowned now, standing just outside the camp’s central tent, the icy wind biting at his skin despite the thick armor.
He didn’t understand. What was going on?
What was he missing?
He didn’t have the chance to spiral further—because a voice cut through the wind behind him.
“The Shadowsinger is here.”
Cassian blinked, turning immediately, his brow furrowing. “What?”
The young Illyrian warrior bowed slightly. “He arrived moments ago. He’s waiting for you near the ridge.”
Azriel? Here?
Cassian was already moving, striding across the frostbitten field toward the overlook, confusion swirling in his chest. What in the Mother’s name is Az doing here? He would’ve known if something had gone wrong at the River House. Rhys would’ve said something—surely.
And then he saw him.
Azriel stood with his arms folded, his expression unreadable, shadows curling languidly around his form as he stared out over the mountains.
“Az,” Cassian called as he approached. “What the hell are you doing here? Did Rhys send you?”
Azriel didn’t turn. “I came on my own.”
That wasn’t normal. Not with Azriel.
Cassian stopped a few feet away, arms outstretched in disbelief. “Okay, what is going on? Rhys is cold with me, Y/N’s got her walls up so high I can’t even feel her, and now you show up like death himself—what did I do? Did I commit a fucking massacre and forget about it?”
Azriel’s jaw ticked, but his voice was cool as ice. “You might as well have.”
Cassian’s stomach dropped. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Azriel finally turned to face him, his gaze hard. “You’ve been so wrapped up in this godsdamned chaos that you didn’t even realize what day it was.”
Cassian blinked. “What?”
Azriel shook his head, sighing harshly. “Go back. I’ll take over from here.”
“What—? Why?” Cassian stepped in front of him, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. “Does Rhys need me? Did something happen—?”
Azriel shrugged his hand off with practiced ease, brushing past him without another word.
But as he walked away, his voice drifted over his shoulder.
“Your mate needs you.”
Cassian stilled.
The words hit him like a punch to the ribs.
Y/N.
Something snapped into place—something instinctual, primal. Protective.
His body straightened, his heart roaring in his chest as dread crashed over him like a tidal wave. His wings flared, already preparing to launch him into the skies.
Something had happened.
She was hurting.
And he hadn’t known.
Didn’t feel it.
His mate needed him—and he was not there.
Cassian didn’t waste another second. He turned on his heel, barked a few quick orders to the nearest commander, and took off into the sky, wind slicing around him like blades.
What happened to her?
My wife needs me.
The sky was clear, painted in soft shades of spring blue with faint wisps of clouds drifting lazily across it. The garden smelled like lavender and sun-warmed stone, and a gentle breeze tugged playfully at Y/N’s hair. It was, by all accounts, a beautiful day.
She barely noticed.
Feyre sat beside her on a picnic blanket spread out over the grass, barefoot, a smudge of green paint on her cheek as she carefully filled in the petals of a wildflower on her canvas. She looked peaceful, serene even—and Y/N had tried, Gods she’d tried, to match that energy. To find something resembling calm.
Feyre had said painting would help. That it had always helped her.
A good distraction.
And maybe it was. For the first few minutes, dipping her brush in soft hues, dragging color across blank canvas, she’d managed to escape the haze of disappointment clinging to her.
But the relief never lasted long.
Three days.
It had been three entire days since her birthday. Since that night she’d cried herself to sleep in a guest room that wasn’t hers. Since the cake Elain had made. Since the weight of it all settled into her bones like something permanent.
Cassian still hadn’t realized.
Not even a whisper through the bond, though she wouldn’t have heard it if he had tried—because she hadn’t opened herself to him. Not once. She couldn’t. Not when every second of silence felt like proof that he had simply... forgotten.
She hadn’t even touched his letters. They sat in her nightstand unopened, their presence mocking her more with each day that passed. She told herself that if she read them, it would mean she was ready to forgive him.
And she wasn’t.
A shaky breath escaped her as she dipped her brush again—only to knock over the small pot of blue paint beside her. It spilled onto the grass, soaking into the roots like a spreading bruise.
“Oops,” she mumbled, reaching for a cloth.
Feyre chuckled softly beside her. “That was my favorite shade too.”
Y/N huffed a laugh, but it was empty. “Of course it was.”
Feyre leaned back on her hands, eyes soft. “You’ve been quiet again.”
Y/N kept blotting at the grass. “I’m trying not to ruin your peaceful moment.”
“Y/N…” Feyre’s voice lowered, all teasing gone. “You’re allowed to feel what you’re feeling.”
“I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore,” she muttered, finally sitting back. “It’s like—I’m angry. I’m sad. I miss him so much it physically hurts, but then I remember he still doesn’t even realize what he’s done and—” She stopped herself, swallowing hard. “It makes everything worse.”
Feyre reached over, brushing a bit of paint off Y/N’s arm. “He’ll figure it out.”
Y/N shook her head slowly. “And what if he doesn’t? What if this is just who he is now?”
Before Feyre could answer, a voice shattered the moment like glass against stone.
“Y/N!”
Y/N’s entire body went rigid.
The brush dropped from her fingers.
That voice. That voice that lived in her soul, in her every memory, every dream—rough and deep and warm like a storm in the distance. She turned slowly, heart thudding so loud she could barely hear anything else.
And there he was.
Cassian.
Striding toward her from the River House doors, wind-blown and armor-clad, broad shoulders moving with frantic urgency. Behind him, Rhysand stood, arms crossed, mouth pressed in a line, expression unreadable. Feyre had frozen beside her, eyes wide.
But Y/N couldn’t stop staring.
Gods, he looked the same and yet... not. Exhausted, eyes bloodshot, hair wind-tangled. But his face—his face lit up the second their eyes met.
Her Cassian, this was her Cassian.
“Y/N,” he breathed again, and then he was in front of her.
Cassian dropped to his knees, his arms wrapping around her tightly, protectively, one hand cradling the back of her head as he pressed his face into her neck.
“Thank the Mother,” he whispered, kissing her cheek, her jaw, her temple. “I thought—I thought something happened to you. I couldn’t feel you, you weren’t answering, and Rhys wouldn’t tell me anything and—”
Y/N was frozen in his arms.
She hadn’t realized how much she missed his scent. His warmth. How much she’d been craving the weight of his embrace, his voice breaking apart with relief.
But then she looked up.
Feyre was staring in wide-eyed shock. Rhys was watching coldly, a muscle ticking in his jaw.
And suddenly the pain returned.
Y/N pushed against Cassian’s chest, slowly at first—then more firmly.
He pulled back, blinking, confusion flickering across his handsome face.
“Y/N?” he said softly, voice catching.
She stood, brushing off her skirt, not daring to meet his eyes.
“Go back to your job, Cassian,” she said, her voice quiet but sharp. “It’s far more important anyway.”
The hurt that flashed across his face nearly undid her.
He turned toward Rhys, clearly seeking answers, but Rhys just shrugged—cool and unapologetic.
Feyre opened her mouth, stepping forward, about to say something—
But Rhys gently nudged her back with a warning look, stopping her mid-breath.
And Y/N didn’t wait.
She pushed past Cassian, her heart hammering, vision blurring as she made her way down the garden path without looking back.
Behind her, she heard Cassian curse softly—and then the sound of footsteps as he ran after her.
“Y/N—” Cassian’s voice rang behind her, hurried footsteps following as she stormed back into the River House.
She didn’t stop.
He cursed behind her—something muffled and sharp as he bumped into a low table near the hallway. She heard the crash of something ceramic hitting the floor.
“Y/N, please—wait, just—talk to me—”
She marched deeper into the house, hands trembling, her vision hazy from the heat of unshed tears. Her name kept falling from his lips like a prayer, desperate and confused. But she wouldn’t stop. Couldn’t.
Not until he caught up and grabbed her arm.
Not harshly. Just enough to pull her to a stop.
“Y/N—”
She spun around, wrenching her arm from his grasp with more force than necessary, her breath ragged as she shouted, “What?”
The hallway echoed with her voice, the sharpness of it slicing through the air like a blade.
Cassian took a step back, blinking at her, stunned. “I—why are you acting like this? What is going on?”
She let out a humorless, choked laugh, folding her arms as her eyes flashed. “Oh, I don’t know, Cassian. Maybe I’m just a little emotional. Maybe I’ve just lost my mind.”
His brow furrowed. “Y/N, don’t—”
“No, you don’t!” she snapped, pointing a finger at his chest. “You don’t get to walk in here after three days like everything’s normal, like you haven’t been ghosting me while I’ve been drowning in confusion and—hurt.”
Cassian’s wings flared, frustration bleeding into his voice. “I haven’t been ghosting you! I’ve been at the camps! I tried reaching you, you had your walls up and Rhys wouldn’t tell me anything and I—Mother above, Y/N! What?!” His voice rose to a thunderous echo, his hands thrown up. “What is it?! Why have you been acting this way?! What the hell has gotten into you?!”
Y/N stared at him, her lip trembling as the words tore out of her like a storm breaking loose.
“IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY!”
The world seemed to stop.
Cassian’s mouth parted, eyes widening as her voice echoed down the hallway. He stood frozen in place—watching her like he didn’t understand what he’d just heard. Like it didn’t make sense.
She saw the realization dawn on his face slowly. The shift in his eyes. The disbelief. The guilt.
Tears streamed down her cheeks, hot and fast, as she went on, her voice shaking with fury and grief.
“It was my birthday, and you left. You forgot. You didn’t send a letter. You didn’t say anything. No note. No kiss. Not even a godsdamned Happy Birthday, Cassian!”
She laughed bitterly, choking on her own tears. “Forget gifts or celebrations. I would’ve taken one sentence through the bond. One single thought. But there was nothing. You left me behind like I was—nothing.”
He opened his mouth, eyes already glossing with tears, but she kept going.
“And I waited,” she hissed, voice cracking. “I waited all day thinking maybe—just maybe—you were going to surprise me. I made excuses for you. Told myself it wasn’t your fault. But it’s been three days. You never realized. You didn’t even remember me.”
Her voice dropped then, just a whisper.
“Do I even mean something to you anymore?”
Cassian’s face crumpled.
“Do you even love me?”
A tear slid down his cheek.
“Y/N…” he whispered, stepping forward, voice raw. “*My love—*of course I love you. Of course I do. You are my everything. My soul is bound to yours—how could I ever stop loving you?”
He ran a trembling hand through his hair, jaw clenching as he cursed himself under his breath. “I’m an idiot. I’m the worst kind of bastard. I should’ve remembered—I should’ve—Mother, I hate myself for this.”
He tried to reach for her again, but she stepped back.
“No,” she said sharply, holding up a trembling hand to stop him. “Don’t. I can’t—not right now.”
“Y/N, please—”
“I think it’s best,” she said, quieter now, broken. “If we stay apart for a while.”
His face twisted. “No, you don’t mean that—”
“I do,” she whispered, shaking her head, more tears falling. “I don’t think I want to see you right now.”
“Just let me explain—”
She turned away.
Cassian took a desperate step toward her, but stopped when she didn’t pause, didn’t look back.
And with one final breathless, shattering beat between them, Y/N climbed the stairs—leaving him standing there, alone in the hallway, heart split wide open.
-------
Cassian sat hunched over on the plush River House couch, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. He didn’t move. He barely breathed. The only thing keeping him grounded was the faint buzz of his own heartbeat in his ears, and the way his eyes were locked on the floor—unblinking, like if he just stared hard enough, he could turn back time.
The silence was tense. Suffocating.
And then—
“What the fuck were you thinking?” Rhys snapped, his voice sharp enough to slice through steel.
Cassian didn’t flinch. He didn’t even lift his head.
Rhys paced in front of him like a caged beast, his power a rolling storm beneath his skin, his violet eyes sparking with fury. “You forgot. You forgot her birthday, Cassian. The one day that’s about her. The one day she deserved your whole world without question—and you gave her silence.”
Cassian remained motionless.
“She cried for hours,” Rhys went on, each word like a dagger. “She didn’t even open your letters. Do you know how fucking heartbroken she had to be, to shut off your bond like that?”
“I tried to reach her,” Cassian rasped.
Rhys didn’t let up. “Not hard enough.”
Feyre, from where she stood leaning against the wall, arms crossed tightly over her chest, said quietly, “Rhys…”
But Rhys was too far gone.
“She waited for you. Defended you. Hoped. While we all sat there trying to keep her smiling, trying to fill the space you left behind.”
“I should have gone to the camps myself,” he seethed, starting to pace again. “Azriel shouldn’t be there, either. I’m the High Lord. I should’ve handled it. Godsdammit, I should have known this would happen. I knew something was off with her and I—”
“She didn’t want you to know,” Feyre cut in gently, but even she sounded like the weight of it was pressing too heavy.
Cassian still hadn’t moved.
Not until, in a hoarse, barely audible whisper, he said, “I hate myself.”
That stopped everything.
Rhys stilled. Feyre’s breath caught. The room went deathly quiet.
Cassian slowly lifted his head, eyes glassy but burning. His voice was louder now, rough with barely restrained emotion. “I hate myself for what I’ve done to her.”
His fingers curled into fists against his knees.
“I keep thinking about her face,” he growled. “When she turned around and shouted at me. When she looked at me like I was a stranger. Like I didn’t even know her anymore.”
He looked up at them, jaw clenched so tight it trembled. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Rhys’s face was unreadable. “She didn’t allow us to,” he said quietly. “She wanted you to realize it yourself. Said it had to be you.”
Cassian let out a low, agonized sound and collapsed back into the couch, throwing his head against the cushions and staring up at the ceiling like it held answers. “Of course she did,” he muttered. “Because she’s better than me. Because she deserved someone who would’ve remembered without being told.”
Feyre crossed the room and gently sat beside him, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Cassian,” she said softly, “you messed up. But this… this doesn’t have to be the end of everything. She’s hurt, yes. But she’s still your mate. You can fix this—but not with words. Not with apologies. With actions.”
Rhys added from the corner, his voice calm but firm now, “Sitting here sulking won’t do you any good. The damage is done. The only question now is: what are you going to do about it?”
Cassian sat up slowly, his chest rising and falling with a deep, steadying breath. His eyes still glistened—but now, there was something steely behind them. Something solid.
“You’re right,” he said, voice low, determined.
He stood, cracking his knuckles, the gears in his mind already turning.
“I’m going to prove to her just how much I love her. I’m going to make this right, no matter how long it takes. I’ll grovel. I’ll bleed for her. I’ll get on my fucking knees if that’s what she wants.”
He looked between them, eyes fierce.
She’s my mate. My heart. My everything. And I will not lose her over this. Not without fighting like hell for her.
And as he stormed out of the room, the weight of his promise followed him like wings in flight.
--------
The moment Y/N had turned her back on him, the realization hit Cassian with the force of a war hammer. The words she’d thrown at him — the tear-filled accusations — echoed in his mind. It wasn’t just her birthday that he’d missed, but the very core of their bond. The trust that had always been between them, the connection that held them together, had been shattered.
For hours, he sat in the silence of the House of Wind, a pit of guilt consuming him. The only thing he could do was write.
The first letter was simple.
“Y/N, I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I didn’t deserve the trust you gave me, and I failed you. I’ve failed us both. I hope, one day, you’ll let me try again. Yours, always, Cassian”
He left it at her door with a small gift--a basket of her favourite flowers--, knowing she wouldn’t open it, but hoping the gesture would be enough. He left, retreating to the gardens to stand in the silence, his thoughts only of her.
Every morning after that, Cassian woke up before the sun, writing a letter. And then, as he left it at her door, he went back to his watch over the House, always close, but never too close. Each letter was more desperate, more vulnerable than the last, with a gift beside it.
“Y/N, Do you remember when we first met? I was a fool. I didn’t know then that it was you who would change everything. I didn’t know that one day, I would come to love you in a way I never thought possible. But I should have remembered you — every day, always. And I failed you. Please, don’t shut me out forever. I’ll wait for as long as it takes. With all the love I have, Cassian”
The gift next to this letter was a set of the books she wanted to buy for a while.
And the next.
“Y/N, I remember your laugh — it was always the highlight of my day. Every time I heard it, I thought I had everything I ever needed. But that laugh is silenced now, and I know it’s because of me. I’m sorry. I’ll keep saying it until you’re tired of hearing it. But I will keep saying it. Yours, in regret, Cassian”
The gift was an exciting array of her favourite sweets from the bakery nearby.
But still, nothing. Not even a glance in his direction. He kept his distance, his heart heavier each day, knowing that he had done this to himself.
A week had passed since Y/N’s birthday. The house was quiet, the laughter from before now distant and hollow. Cassian had spent every minute of those days trying to find a way to fix this, to make it right.
But he knew what he had to do.
The night before, he worked — with the help of Elain for the food, Feyre for the decorations, and Amren for the music — to set up the garden. He had been there before, countless times, but this time it felt different. The air, the atmosphere, the quiet, heavy regret weighing down his every step.
It wasn’t perfect. The cake was a little lopsided, the candles not quite the right height, the wine too sweet, but it was the effort he’d put into it.
Cassian stood under the arch of flowers, staring out into the empty garden, waiting for Y/N.
And he waited.
But she never came.
Well, that was expected. Time to grovel some more.
Each day, he wrote more. His words were no longer just apologies, but reflections of the bond he had with her, a bond he could never again take for granted.
The next letter arrived, tucked neatly under her door.
“Y/N, I thought I knew what love was before I met you. I thought it was strength, something built on the battlefield. But love with you — it’s quiet moments, tender glances, it’s all the things I never knew I needed. I won’t ever stop fighting for you. Not until you know just how much you mean to me. Cassian”
the gift beside the letter was a beautiful ruby glass heart container that stored a small vial of perfume, infused with the essence of the lavender blooms from the cliffs of Velaris — a scent that reminded him of Y/N’s laughter, the way her presence filled any room with warmth and joy.
The days dragged on as Cassian poured every ounce of his focus into making up for his mistakes. Each day, he sat in his favorite spot by the window, gazing out at the skies, thinking about the next moment he could make it right. He knew he couldn’t fix the damage he’d done with mere words — it would take action, sincerity, and time.
On the sixth day since the argument, Cassian finally gathered the courage to present the gift he had so carefully crafted. It had been almost impossible to get any sleep these past few days, his guilt and love driving him to the brink. He had even considered getting down on his knees to beg for forgiveness, but he knew it wasn’t enough to simply ask for her love — he had to show her.
Cassian stood in the heart of Velaris' gardens, a place where he and Y/N had spent so many peaceful moments together—under the sprawling canopy of ancient trees, surrounded by blooming flowers that burst with vibrant colors. He had chosen this spot on purpose. He knew that their love had always been nurtured here, where the earth seemed to echo the beauty of their bond, and the breeze carried whispers of memories.
He hadn’t expected her to come. After everything that had happened, he had resigned himself to the idea that Y/N might never forgive him. The ache in his chest was unbearable as he stared at the perfect arrangement he had created—a table set for two, draped with a soft, silk cloth that shimmered in the light of the setting sun. Candles flickered in delicate holders, casting a warm glow, while the scent of jasmine and lavender filled the air—flowers Y/N had once told him reminded her of serenity.
He wasn’t sure if she would ever forgive him, but he had to try. He had to show her that he had learned. That he was worthy of her love.
The gift he had chosen for her sat at the center of the table on a velvet cloth, a small, intricately carved box.
Inside it lay something special: a silver locket. A locket that held a tiny, hand-painted picture of Y/N, done in beautiful detail, her smile captured perfectly by the artist who had worked tirelessly to get every little detail right. The locket was attached to a delicate silver chain, with intricate swirls of magic carved into the edges. Inside, it also held a piece of stardust—a glowing reminder of their bond, a symbol of the magic that connected them, no matter how far apart they might be.
The locket was something personal, something Cassian knew would mean the world to her. He hoped she could see it as more than just a gift, but as a promise—of his love, his regret, and his dedication to never again make her feel forgotten.
He wasn’t sure if she’d come. The hours passed, the sun beginning to set, casting everything in a golden light that felt both beautiful and heavy with the weight of his regrets.
But then, just as he had almost resigned himself to the fact that she might never return, the soft sound of footsteps echoed through the garden.
Cassian’s breath caught in his throat. He turned around slowly, his heart pounding as he saw Y/N standing in the entrance, her eyes cautious but filled with something he could not yet name. She wore a soft, flowing gown that shimmered in the fading light. The sight of her took his breath away, but the sadness in her eyes made it impossible to smile.
She stood there, frozen for a long moment, her gaze lingering on the table and the gift. Cassian felt his chest tighten. Was she here to yell at him again? To push him away? Or was there a chance, a small hope, that she might forgive him?
"Y/N..." His voice was a low rasp as he took a step toward her, his heart beating painfully fast.
She still didn’t move, her eyes fixed on the gift and the flowers. The moment stretched, the silence heavy and filled with everything unspoken.
“Cassian,” she whispered, her voice so small, so unsure.
Cassian stepped closer, as if compelled by an invisible force, his arms trembling as he slowly reached for the small velvet box, his heart in his throat. He placed it in her hands, his voice barely a whisper. “I know I’ve hurt you… and I can never take that back. But this is for you. To show you how much you mean to me. Please, Y/N. Please just let me try.”
Y/N stared at the box in her hands for a moment, the tension between them palpable, before she carefully opened it, revealing the silver locket inside. Her breath caught, and Cassian watched the flicker of emotion pass across her face—surprise, confusion, and something softer that made him ache.
He’d prepared himself for rejection, for anger, but the quiet sorrow in her eyes cut deeper than any of that.
She gently ran her fingers over the locket, her touch reverent, as if she was trying to make sense of it. The garden around them seemed to hold its breath in that moment, the flowers swaying in the soft breeze as if waiting for her words.
“Cassian…” Her voice was a mere whisper, fragile like glass, and it sent a ripple of pain through his chest. He watched her carefully, wanting to hold her, but knowing she wasn’t ready for that yet.
“I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to fix this. I…” He trailed off, his own words failing him. What could he say to make her understand the depth of his regret? The weight of the mistakes he had made? “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life. And I—I know I’ve failed you. I’ve hurt you in a way I never should have. But please, just know that I would never, ever do it again especially not knowingly. I would burn the world down for you, Y/N.”
Her eyes flickered with emotion, her lips trembling as she finally looked up from the locket, meeting his gaze. “I know you love me, Cassian.” The words were quiet, but they were enough to shatter some of the walls around his heart. “I know you do. But love isn’t just in the words. It’s in the actions. It’s in showing up when it matters the most. And when you didn’t even think of me on my birthday—when you didn’t even check in—I felt... invisible. Forgotten. Like I didn’t matter to you.”
The pain in her voice stung, and he took a step closer, his own voice strained as he spoke. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could have been there for you. But I didn’t—”
“No.” She shook her head, cutting him off. “It wasn’t just that you weren’t there. It was that you didn’t even remember. It wasn’t about the gifts or the gestures. It was about you—the one person I thought would never forget, never let me feel alone.” She swallowed hard, her eyes beginning to shimmer with unshed tears. “I needed you. And you weren’t there.”
The words were a dagger to his chest, and he couldn’t breathe for a moment. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, I know that. But Y/N… I’m here now. And I’ll spend every single day making up for it. You mean the world to me. I’m nothing without you. You’re my heart. My mate. My everything.”
Her gaze softened, but the hurt was still there, lingering like a shadow between them. She took a deep breath, her fingers tightening around the locket as she held it close to her heart. “I was so angry, Cassian. I didn’t even know if I could forgive you. I couldn’t understand how you could forget me like that. But...” She paused, her breath shaky as she wiped away a tear. “But I love you. And I can’t just hold on to that anger. I don’t want to. I want to forgive you. I need to forgive you.”
Cassian’s breath caught in his throat. “Y/N… you mean it?”
She nodded, her tears now falling freely as she took a step closer to him, her voice soft but unwavering. “I mean it. You’re my mate, Cassian. And I know we’ve been through worse. I can’t lose you over this.”
Before he could say anything more, she closed the distance between them, throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face into his chest. Cassian’s arms instinctively wrapped around her, pulling her close as if he never wanted to let go. He buried his face in her hair, inhaling the familiar scent of her, the feel of her against him filling the empty space in his soul.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m sorry for making you feel like that. I never want to hurt you again. You’re everything to me.”
Y/N pulled back slightly, her eyes still glistening with tears, but the softness in her gaze was undeniable. “Don’t do that again. Please.” She punched him lightly in the chest, her laugh shaky but genuine. “Don’t you dare forget me like that again. Not on something so important.”
Cassian chuckled softly, the sound like music to his ears after the storm they had just weathered. “I swear to you, I’ll never forget again. You’re my heart, Y/N. And I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that to you.”
She smirked, shaking her head. “Better. Now, let’s sit down and eat. I’m starving.”
Cassian grinned and, with a gentle but firm hand on her back, guided her to the table he had prepared. The soft flicker of candlelight illuminated their faces as they sat down together, the world around them quiet and peaceful. The only sounds were the soft crackle of the candles, the rustling of the leaves in the breeze, and the occasional clink of silverware.
He smiled at her, that same playful grin she loved so much, and poured her a glass of wine. “You sure you’re not just hungry for an excuse to avoid the subject of my deeply regrettable failure?” He teased, a glint of mischief in his eyes.
Y/N rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the smile that tugged at her lips. “Maybe. But you’re lucky I love you, idiot.” She picked up her glass, clinking it gently against his. “To us, Cassian. To love. To second chances.”
“To second chances,” he echoed, his heart lighter than it had been in days. He leaned forward, brushing a soft kiss against her lips before pulling back and saying softly, “I’ll spend my entire life proving to you that I’m worthy of the love you’ve given me. I promise.”
They spent the evening together in the garden, talking, laughing, and simply being with each other. The night was soft and full of promise, and though the pain of the past few days still lingered in the corners of their minds, it was no longer all-consuming. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, Cassian felt peace settle in his heart. He had his mate back. And that was all that mattered.
As the stars twinkled overhead, Cassian knew one thing for certain: he would never let her down again.
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manmuncher777 · 1 day ago
Note
i love the way you write dom choso omfg
Thank you so much my lovely, heres a small Drabble just for you <3
SMUT MDNI 18+
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You don’t know why you both do it, practically torturing each other the whole day. Flirty messages while you’re both at work, maybe even a cheeky picture if you can find the time to slip away from your desk. Something that would have him choking on his water when he opened the message. Only for him to send you something as devious in return. Riling each other up the whole day, making it practically unbearable to be away from each other.
But god it made it so much more fun when you did finally get your hands on each other
When you finally get home, you’re ready to jump him. But he’s already made up his mind.
“No, baby,” he murmurs, hands already gripping your wrists as he pushes you onto the bed. “You’ve been begging for it all day. Now you’re gonna take what I give you. No touching.”
He doesn’t let you touch him. Not his shoulders, not his hair, not his cock. He keeps your hands pinned, tied, or just warns you with that low growl in his throat. And every time you squirm, he gets rougher. Daring you to test him further.
He’s in full control, just how you like. Holding your legs apart with one hand while the other presses deep into your cunt, slow and deliberate. He licks you like a man starved and says the filthiest shit right up against your ear—telling you how good you taste, how fucking wet you are for him, and how ruined you look already.
And he never nice with it, not that you’d want it to be. Mocking those slurred cries of pleasure that leave your glossed lips. Slapping at your tear stained cheeks when you eyes drop from his for just a second, all your attention has to be on him. And he’ll make you watch every second. Every finger he slips into your welcoming cunt, every inch of his thick cock that sinks into you.
“You wanted to play all day, didn’t you? Now you’re gonna take it. Every drop.”
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thatfeelinwhenyou · 2 days ago
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IM BACK!!! first of all, i just want to collectively give you a HUGEEEE hug and a kiss for taking time out of your busy schedule to write these for me <3
"Honestly, I wonder if between all that infuriation and fear she feels for them, for their stupid actions of trying to get to them, she feels relieved. Relieved that they haven’t given up on her, that they would do anything until the actual last moment." i never actually stop to consider this but i'd like to think that she does feel some form of relief in knowing that they haven't given up on her despite the circumstances proving otherwise. in the moment, i'm sure she's frustrated but eventually it'll sink in 😌
"Nat, you really do love putting our boys like hostages. AND WHERE IS THAT MF CRAZY KIM" IM SORRY 😔✊
"They didn’t let her decide her fate by just dying, because they’re not her. Of course she would make that choice for herself, but put her in their place and she would be the first one to offer the idea and even support it, push it till it gets done. But it’s also considered a ‘liability’. In her eyes, she will just slow them down if she survives. And I really want to give her a hug, for that. She would prefer to die, than to slow them down or put them in danger." spot on. you're a treasure natsu <3
and lastly, i just want to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart for your love and support throughout safe & sound. i truly appreciate you and the time you put in to writing these reviews. like i truly cannot fathom the kindness that you have shown me! and the way you truly understand safe & sound to its core, i'm fr so touched and grateful. i'm so glad that you were able to take away something from this mere fanfiction, knowing that really inspires me to write more in the future!
sending you lots and lots of love, take time for yourself, drink lots of water and stay safe!! love you natsu ❤️🥹
xo, nat
SAFE & SOUND — part 7 (finale)
Navigating one year post-apocalypse, when the dead began to walk and the living proved to be no better, you decide that trust is a luxury you can no longer afford. But after a run-in with a group of seven peculiar survivors, you learn that there are bigger problems than just the undead roaming the streets. You also start to wonder if there’s more to survival than simply staying alive.
word count: 27.6k
a/n: heavy trigger warning for depiction of gore, blood, killing, mutilation and death. mentions of self-exit. reader discretion is advised. lowkey want to kay emm ess!
MASTERLIST
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Hope.
It has taken root. Not for you—definitely not for you. But for them. For these people who still have a chance, who still have something to fight for. Something to live for.
At the cost of your own life.
It’s ironic, isn’t it? That it’s only now—standing at the edge of oblivion, with death already sinking its teeth into your skin—that your heart decides to start beating.
Hope makes you weak. It opens you up, makes you vulnerable, carves out spaces in your chest where fear and regret can take hold. It makes you susceptible to loss. But not just the kind of loss that comes from losing someone you love—but the kind that lingers, that gnaws at the edges of your thoughts, that whispers about what could have been.
The kind of loss that reminds you who you’ll be leaving behind.
And worst of all—hope makes you stupid.
So stupid that you’d willingly run into a sea of rotting, undead corpses who cannot wait to take a chomp out of your very living flesh.
So stupid that even with a death sentence sinking into your wrist, poisoning your blood, you still care more about them. More about whether or not they’ll make it out of this alive. More about their futures—
Futures you won’t get to see.
Because you probably won’t even make it to sunrise at this rate.
The world is a beautiful phenomenon, an intricate masterpiece woven together by time, ruined and utterly defiled by the cruelty of mankind. And now, standing on the precipice of your own imminent demise, you can’t help but wonder—is this Mother Nature’s wrath finally catching up? 
Is this the earth retaliating, purging the infection that is humanity in the only way it knows how? Have the scales been tipping for too long, and now the universe is finally restoring balance in the only way it can? Is your suffering—your inevitable death—meant to balance the scales? Even when, frankly speaking, it was never solely your fault to begin with?
Maybe it’s the victim mentality clawing its way to the surface, the part of you that refuses to believe you deserve this, the part that screams this isn’t fair, this isn’t right, this isn’t how it was supposed to go. But deep down, you swear—no one else in this godforsaken world is being punished as cruelly as you.
And you can’t understand why.
What crime did you commit to warrant this?
Was it the way you looked down on the people at the community building? The way you condemned them for being selfish, for putting their own survival above others—only to turn around and do the exact same thing? Because when it came down to it, when it was your life on the line, you saved yourself too.
Or was it the countless survivors who passed through, desperate, pleading for help, only for you to turn them away? And then, hours later, when the night was at its quietest, when the wind carried sounds that had no business reaching your ears, you would hear them.
Screams.
Distant, broken, haunting. And you would wonder. Was that them? Did your ignorance, your apathy, your fear—did it cost them their lives?
Or would you be guilty of something far more selfish—something you never even realised until now?
Would you be guilty of constantly throwing yourself into harm’s way, time and time again, because it was always easier to bleed than to watch them bleed? Because as long as you were the one getting hurt, as long as you were the one getting bit, dying, fading away into nothing, then it meant they would still be here. Alive. Safe.
But what does that make of them? The ones you’re trying to protect.
Maybe you were never meant to be part of a group. Not because they wouldn’t have you, not because you couldn’t belong, but because you never truly let yourself belong. Because you never matched their pace. Because while they learned to adjust to you, to move with you, to shift their decisions around you—you never did the same for them.
Would that have been your sin?
Was that the moment the universe condemned you?
Maybe this bite isn’t just a punishment. Maybe it’s a verdict. 
And you, standing here amidst the corpses of the undead, bloodied and breathless—are already guilty.
But you know now that guilt isn’t an excuse to wallow in self-pity. Guilt isn’t some tragic, poetic concept meant to make you suffer in your final moments. It’s a burden, a weight pressing against your ribs, but it doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t undo what’s already happened, doesn’t reverse the choices you made, doesn’t erase the blood on your hands, doesn’t stop the inevitable.
And it sure as hell won’t save you now.
It’s a shame, really. That it took this—this moment, this final breath, this unforgiving death sentence—for you to finally feel it. For you to finally want to live.
And not for yourself.
For them.
For Jay, who has already bled for you once, who would probably bleed for you again, even though you don’t deserve it.
For Sunoo, who has always held onto kindness, even in a world that has given him every reason to let it go, who still believes in laughter, in warmth, in something beyond just survival.
For Jake, who patches wounds and mends what’s broken, even when no one is there to do the same for him.
For Heeseung, who stands between order and chaos, who keeps them together when everything else is falling apart.
For Sunghoon, whose silence speaks louder than words, whose actions hold more meaning than empty reassurances.
For Ni-ki, who at such a young age, had to learn how to survive, how to fight, how to never show weakness—and yet, despite it all, still hasn’t lost his heart.
And for Jungwon, who carries the weight of everyone’s survival on his back, whose bones are breaking under it, whose shoulders have never known relief but still refuses to put it down. 
For Jungwon, who lets no one in but somehow, without even meaning to, lets you in. 
For Jungwon, who despite everything you’ve done, despite every reason you’ve given him to turn away, accepts you anyway. Who welcomes you into the most vulnerable parts of himself, the parts he doesn’t show anyone else, the parts that are too raw, too fragile, too much—but still, he lets you see them. Still, he lets you stay.
For Jungwon, who gently places his heart in your hands, trusting—praying—that you don’t squeeze it.
But you do. In fact, you don’t just squeeze it, you strangle it.
And the sheer thought of it—of what your death would do to him—sends a fresh wave of panic tearing through your already fraying mind.
You’ve seen it before, the way he carries the weight of every decision like a cross on his back, the way he internalises every loss, even when it isn’t his fault. You’ve seen the flicker of self-doubt in his eyes, the guilt of his past that eats away at him in the dead of night, the moments where you swear he looks at his own hands like they’re stained with something he can never wash off.
And now—you’re about to become another name etched into his grief. Another ghost he’ll never stop chasing.
The thought sends a sharp, unbearable pain ricocheting through your chest, burning, searing, suffocating you in a way even the impending infection couldn’t. Because this—this is worse than dying. Worse than the bite spreading its poison through your veins. Worse than knowing you’ll never make it out of here.
You are the thing that is going to break him.
It doesn’t matter how many times you tell yourself he’ll be fine without you, that he’s strong enough to keep going, that the others will take care of him when you’re gone. Because none of that is true. Not really. He’s strong, yes. He’s a survivor, yes. But strength doesn’t erase grief, and survival doesn’t mean living.
And just like that—just like Jay said—guilt and regret, tethered to hope, twists into something else entirely.
Redemption.
Not salvation. Not forgiveness. But a chance.
A chance to make up for the fact you’ll be leaving them behind.
Because if this is the end for you—if this is how it all plays out—then you’ll make damn sure it counts. If death is already creeping towards you, sinking its teeth into your flesh, then you’ll drag as many of those bastards down with you as you can.
You’ll be selfish, one last time. Even if it breaks him in the process.
Your breath steadies. The roaring in your ears dims. You’re not afraid anymore.
You lift your head, exhaling slowly, forcing your gaze away from the material that barely manages to conceal the ugly, jagged wound on your wrist, away from the reminder of what’s coming.
Instead, you look straight ahead at the dead surrounding you, the bodies shifting, the hunger burning in their milky eyes.
And for the first and last time—
You meet them halfway.
The dead move in slow, unrelenting waves, their bodies pressing in, their hands grasping, their hunger festering in the air like a disease. The grotesque mask clings to your skin, the fabric around your wrist concealing the scent of fresh blood, giving you the illusion of time. 
But time is a luxury you no longer have.
You take a step forward, then another, forcing yourself deeper into the horde. The dead shift around you, their rotting bodies pressing in from all sides, brushing against your arms, your shoulders, dragging their fingers across the fabric of your clothes as they shuffle mindlessly forward. Some hesitate, their milky eyes lingering on you just a second too long, as if their instincts can sense that something isn’t quite right.
Your fingers tighten around the hilt of your knife as you force yourself to match their rhythm, your body moving in slow, jerky motions, mimicking the unnatural gait of the undead. 
The whispers have stopped. The unnatural echo of fragmented words that had bounced between the corpses earlier has faded into silence, but you know they’re still here. A’s people. They’re hiding, watching, waiting for their moment.
A flicker of movement catches your eye.
There. 
Through a small gap in the sea of bodies, a pair of eyes stare back at you. Clear. Alive. They’re looking right at you as if daring you to come closer. 
Your heart pounds against your ribs, but you don’t react. You don’t move toward them. You don’t acknowledge them. Instead, you turn your attention elsewhere and keep walking, feigning disinterest. You can see the hesitation in their stance, the slight confusion in the way their body tenses before they realise where you’re headed.
If A has spent all these months hunting Jay and the others down, tormenting them, orchestrating every step that led to this moment, then he’s not going to run. Not yet. Not before he gets what he wants.
And if that’s the case, he’s still here, still lingering somewhere in this mess, watching from the shadows, waiting for the people on the roof to get anxious and fuck up.
They know the others are up on the roof. They must know by now. After all the gunfire, the shouting, the chaos—it’d be impossible not to. You glance up briefly, careful not to be too obvious, and your stomach tightens at the thought of what Jungwon must be doing right now. Or what he must be thinking. If Jay and the others had any sense at all, they would’ve stopped him, restrained him if they had to. There’s no way he’d sit back and just let this happen.
But that’s not your concern right now. Your job is to make sure A doesn’t leave this place alive.
You’re going to cut off the only escape route they have.
Riding the momentum of the horde, you start to make your way toward the gates. The space between the metal bars is jam-packed with bodies, the undead pushing against each other in a mindless frenzy, pressing their weight against the barricade in an attempt to force their way through. On the other side, more of them do the same, caught in an endless cycle of pressing in and pulling back, neither side able to gain enough ground to break through.
Discreetly, you knock against the metal frames, pushing against the rusted material just enough to make noise. A dull, metallic clang rings out into the night, barely audible over the groans and snarls of the dead, but it’s enough. The zombies nearest to you twitch, their heads jerking toward the source of the sound before their bodies follow suit, shifting toward the gate, pressing against it with renewed aggression. The weight of them is unbearable, steel groaning beneath the pressure, the rusted hinges creaking as the force grows stronger.
It’s working.
Slowly but surely, the opening starts to close, inch by painstaking inch.
But then—it stops.
Your pulse spikes as the movement suddenly halts, the weight on the outside pressing back just as forcefully as those on the inside. Something’s jammed in the gap.
You push again, shifting your body weight against the frame, but it won’t budge. 
You need to clear whatever’s blocking it. But just as you’re about to move toward the centre to check, a gunshot rings out.
The gate slams shut.
The sudden sound ignites a frenzy among the horde, the undead jerking violently toward the direction of the gunfire, the noise acting like a spark in dry kindling. The air explodes with movement.
Your breath catches as you look up at the roof. Jay is standing firm, rifle still aimed toward your immediate vicinity. He caught onto your plan.
You push forward, stepping over limp, half-trampled bodies, forcing yourself to move despite the chaos that surges all around you. The horde is in a frenzy now, the echoes of the gunshot linger in the air, the pressure of the undead shifting like an unpredictable tide.
Your fingers close around the rusted chain dangling from the gate, the metal rough and uneven beneath your grip. The chain rattles as you yank it into place, looping it tightly, securing the padlock with trembling hands. The clang of metal against metal feels deafening despite the surrounding noise.
It’s done.
The lock clicks into place, the steel reinforced by layers of rust and time. This is it. The moment that seals your fate—and theirs.
The barricade stands firm, cutting off any chance of escape, caging them in alongside the very creatures they’ve controlled and used as weapons for months. There’s no getting out of this. Not for them. Not for you.
You suck in a sharp breath, willing your hands to stop shaking, forcing the thoughts from your mind before they have a chance to settle, before you can question what you’ve just done. Before you can regret it.
You take a step back, your pulse hammering in your ears. Your gaze flicks back up to the rooftop, scanning the figures above. Jay hasn’t moved. He’s still standing there, still watching. Even from this distance, you can see the tension straining his frame, the tight set of his shoulders, the way his fingers grip the rifle like it’s the only thing keeping him steady. He’s too far away for you to see his expression, but you don’t need to—you know what’s going through his mind. He knows what you’ve just done. And he knows that there is no coming back from this.
Your gaze flickers to Sunoo, Ni-ki, and Heeseung. They’re also scanning the horde, their postures stiff with adrenaline, eyes sharp and calculating as they search for movement that doesn’t belong, for A’s people still hidden among the dead. Now that the gates are closed, now that escape is impossible, there’s no reason for them to keep sneaking around. No reason to hide. You have the upper ground now
Except—
A cold chill slithers down your spine.
Where is Jungwon? 
He is nowhere to be seen. Neither is Jake nor Sunghoon.
Your stomach twists into knots, the unease creeping through you like a parasite burrowing deep beneath your skin. The air feels heavier now, thick with the scent of decay and something even worse—dread.
Where the fuck are they? Did Jungwon break free? Did Jake or Sunghoon try to stop him?  Is he already on his way down here, fighting his way through the chaos, trying to reach you?
And the answer to all your questions?
You don’t know.
And that uncertainty sits in your chest like a coiled viper, tightening, squeezing, threatening to suffocate you. Your hands clench at your sides, every nerve in your body screaming at you to do something. Because you may not know where he is, but you know him. You know exactly what kind of person he is. Jungwon isn’t the type to sit still, isn’t the type to accept defeat. Hell, he might be lost among the horde right now, trying to get to you.
A frustrated growl rumbles in your throat as you mentally curse Jungwon and his goddamn inability to sit still. To listen. To just let you do the job without having to worry about who else would get hurt in the process but yourself.
But the hypocrisy of your own thoughts settles in almost instantly, sharp and bitter like a knife twisting in your gut.
Because you did the exact same thing. You went after Ni-ki despite Jungwon telling you not to. You risked everything, ran straight into the horde, made your own reckless choices—and look where it got you.
You understand him. Because you are essentially two peas from the same pod.
Two stubborn fools, running towards death instead of away from it. Two people who can’t just sit back and watch while the ones they care about are out there, bleeding, fighting, dying.
You glance up, heart hammering, eyes scanning the people on the rooftop—Jay, Sunoo, Ni-ki, until your gaze lands on Heeseung. Confusion riddles your expression. He’s not just standing idly by, waiting for an opportunity; his sharp gaze is tracking something through the chaos below, scanning the horde with a precision that tells you he’s not just watching the dead.
He’s tracking someone.
And then you see it—the subtle, deliberate signals he’s making with his hands, quick flicks of his fingers, small movements meant to be understood only by those who know what to look for. Your mind pieces it together in an instant, the realisation slamming into you like a freight train.
He’s signalling toward you.
And just like that, everything clicks into place.
They’re trying to get to you—all of them.
Not just Jungwon, but Heeseung, Jake, Sunghoon, Jay, Sunoo, Ni-ki—every single one of them. They’re searching for you, closing in, inch by inch, and you realise they’re doing everything they can to keep from calling your name, from alerting the enemy to where you are, from giving away your position before they can reach you.
But why? Why the hell are they doing this?
The thought hits you harder than the reality of your own bite, knocking the air from your lungs, leaving behind a hollow, aching sensation that spreads through your chest like an open wound. You’re a gone case. You’re already as good as dead, already counting down the moments before the infection takes hold, already feeling the weight of what’s coming next press against your spine like an executioner’s blade.
They let you go.
So why? Why are they fighting so hard to bring you back when there’s nothing left to save?
Your breath trembles as you force yourself to process it, to make sense of the irrationality, the sheer stupidity of it all, but the more you think about it, the more the answer eludes you. 
You can barely wrap your head around the fact that they haven’t given up on you yet, that instead of making peace with your decision, instead of accepting the inevitable, they are still fighting for you, still risking everything for you, still choosing you, despite everything.
And something about that—something about their unwavering, reckless refusal to let you go—makes your stomach turn with something far more suffocating than fear. They are coming for you. They will not stop. They will not let you die here, no matter how much you try to convince yourself that this is how it ends.
The realisation hits like a punch to the gut. You stagger forward a step, your fingers twitching uselessly at your sides. You have to find Jungwon. You have to—but what then? Beg him to stop? Hold him back and tell him that if he keeps going, if he keeps chasing after you, he’ll end up just like you?
Your breath stutters, caught between panic and guilt, between the raw, sinking knowledge that you can’t stop him. Not now. Not when he’s already made up his mind. Not when he’s already running straight towards his own destruction.
Your nails dig into your palms, jaw locking as a new, dangerous thought settles deep in your bones.
This is wrong. It isn’t supposed to be this way.
Jungwon is supposed to be safe. He’s supposed to be up there on the rooftop, watching over the rest of them, ensuring their survival—not running blindly into the jaws of death just to get to you.
But that’s the thing about Jungwon, isn’t it? He doesn’t know how to stop. Doesn’t know how to give up. Doesn’t know how to let go. And that’s what makes this so much worse.
Because he will find you. He will chase you down, no matter the cost, no matter the risk, no matter how many people he has to fight through just to get to you. And when he does—it will kill him. And the rest will follow him into his grave.
You squeeze your eyes shut, nails biting into your palms so hard you think they might draw blood.
This is the only way.
If you can’t stop him—then you have to make sure he never finds you. Because if he does, he won’t stop. He won’t turn back. And you’ll have to watch him die because of you.
A cold, shuddering breath escapes you as you take a step backward—one step away from them. One step towards the only future where they get to live.
Because if there’s one thing you can do for Jungwon—one final thing—it’s this.
You can disappear before he gets the chance to break himself for you.
You don’t spare them a glance, don’t hesitate, don’t falter as your body moves on instinct, your mind shutting out every voice screaming at you to stop. The moment you spot one of A’s people, standing just a little too stiff, moving just a little too deliberately among the dead, you lunge, gripping them by the neck in one swift, brutal motion and dragging them down to the ground.
The impact is sickening, a sharp, guttural gasp ripping from their throat, but you don’t stop to acknowledge it, don’t even think about it—because the moment their body collides with the dirt, the reaction is immediate.
The dead turn.
And before you know it, before they even have the chance to cry out, the horde descends.
The first one tears into their arm, the second sinks its rotting teeth into their stomach, and then it’s over, the screams—raw, agonised, inhuman—ripping through the night, calling the rest of the undead to devour what’s left.
Gunshots ring out from the rooftop, sharp bursts of sound cutting through the air, but they’re hesitant, cautious, deliberate. They’re trying to clear the dead, trying to keep you from getting buried beneath the writhing mass of bodies, but they can’t tell which one is you.
They can’t risk it. They can’t risk mistaking you for one of them.
The thought doesn’t even faze you. Not when you’re standing there, surrounded by the towering bodies of the dead, the heat of their decayed flesh pressing in around you, their mouths dripping with fresh blood as they tear into A’s people like animals, completely oblivious to the fact that you’re standing right in the middle of it all.
The scent of death, of mutilation, of torn flesh and spilt guts floods your senses, but you remain still, your breaths shallow, your pulse steady, as you watch.
You don’t flinch at the wet, crunching sound of bones snapping.
You don’t recoil at the way flesh is peeled back, skin stripped away from muscle, muscle torn straight from the bone.
You don’t even blink as what was once a person is reduced to nothing but scraps of meat, scraps that the dead no longer have any use for.
You just wait.
Wait until the screaming stops.
Wait until the feeding slows.
Wait until the dead begin to lose interest, until they start to disperse, until they move on in search of fresher, more desperate prey.
And then, when the moment is right, when their bloated, rotting stomachs are full and their vacant eyes are no longer scanning for movement, you move with them, slipping back into their midst, letting yourself become a shadow among the damned.
Your feet shuffle in tandem with a group of them drifting toward the convenience store, your body moving with disjointed, unnatural steps, mimicking their vacant, lifeless motions, your presence masked by the stench of decay and blood coating your skin.
The rooftop is still alive with movement, still pulsing with the frantic energy of the fight, and you know—you know—they’re searching.
They’re looking for you.
But they won’t find you.
Not when you’re already slipping through the reinforced glass doors of the convenience store, disappearing into the darkness—out of their sight. Out of their reach.
Inside, the air is thick with decay, the scent of dried sweat and old blood clinging to the walls like an ugly reminder of what this place has become. A graveyard. A battlefield. A dying memory of safety that was never meant to last.
A few stragglers shuffle aimlessly through the wreckage, their movements slow, detached, unsettlingly human, and for a brief moment, you wonder if they’re actually dead at all. They must have pushed through during the chaos earlier, drawn in by the screams, the gunfire, the relentless noise coming from the rooftop. 
Now, they roam the space where you and the others once slept, their feet tangling in the sleeping bags carelessly abandoned on the floor, their rotting hands brushing against the last remnants of the lives you were trying to build here.
Something inside you twists, sharp and bitter. You don’t know why, but it annoys you.
Maybe because, in some small, irrational way, it feels like a violation—like they’re treading on something that was yours, that was theirs, that was meant to mean something.
It doesn’t matter now.
Nothing matters except finding A.
Your plan to pick them off one by one is no longer viable. Not with the added risk of Jungwon and the others searching for you. You can’t afford to be seen, can’t afford to let them pull you back into the fight when this isn’t their battle anymore.
There can’t be many of A’s people left by now, but the ones that remain… they’re the worst kind.
The ones who have stripped themselves of everything, who have embraced the rot, the ruin, the slow descent into madness. The ones who have walked with the dead for so long that they no longer fear them, who have become something in-between, not quite living, not quite gone.
You could pick them off one by one, but that would take forever. Too long. At that rate, hunger and exhaustion will get to you first. And after that… 
Well, you’ll be just another piece of the horde yourself.
You exhale slowly, forcing yourself to think, to focus. If you could just find A, just see him ripped to pieces in the flesh, just have that confirmation, that reassurance, that he is dead—
Then you could end this yourself.
You could use yourself as bait, lead the horde away, let them chase after you until there’s nothing left but rotting bodies and silence. It’s not foolproof, not a guaranteed way out for the others, but at least this way—when the horde finally clears, when the dust settles, when the echoes of dying screams fade into nothing—
A’s people will be forced to look at what remains.
They will have to face the wreckage, face the reality of their failure, the shredded, half-eaten corpses of their own, scattered across the ground like discarded meat, their flesh torn and gnawed on until they’re unrecognisable, until they’re nothing but a pile of chewed-up bones and empty, hollowed-out carcasses.
They will have to see it, smell it, feel it seeping into the very ground beneath them.
And maybe then—maybe just for a second—they will understand.
They will understand what real fear looks like, understand what it means to lose, to be powerless, to have everything they built, everything they thought made them invincible, ripped from their hands in an instant.
A warning carved into flesh, spelled out in blood and bones, a message left behind for those who survive—
Never underestimate their opponent. Never think that just because they control the dead, just because they use them like weapons, like shields, like disposable soldiers, that they are untouchable. That they are above the laws of survival, above the cycle of death and destruction that has consumed this world.
And if they value their miserable fucking life, if they have even an ounce of self-preservation left in that rotting mind of theirs, they’ll know never to come back.
Just then, as if the heavens themselves have recognised your sacrifice and decided, in a rare stroke of mercy, to grant you one last favour, the door to the backroom swings open with a slow, deliberate creak, and a figure steps out.
A.
Your breath stills in your throat.
Of course. Of fucking course.
What the hell were you thinking? Why didn’t you consider this sooner? Why didn’t it occur to you that he’d be hiding out in the backroom—the only soundproof room in the entire building, the one filled to the brim with supplies, weapons, resources? The one place where he could sit comfortably, untouched by the chaos outside, while his people bled and burned for his cause?
The anger comes first—hot, sharp, searing through your veins like wildfire—but it’s quickly swallowed by something colder, something heavier, something that grips at your ribs and refuses to let go.
Just beyond the open door, a zombie shuffles past the threshold, its milky, vacant eyes flicking lazily in A’s direction. Its jaw hangs slack, rotting fingers twitching at its sides. For a brief, agonising second, it looks right at him—through him—and then…it turns away. 
Your stomach twists.
Is this what Lieutenant Kim meant? Is this what it looks like to let go of yourself completely? Has he truly sunk so deep into the abyss, into whatever depravity he’s clawed his way into, that he isn’t even human to them anymore?
Because you see him. His posture is too straight. His movements are too smooth, too calculated, too alive—and yet, to them, to the dead, to the creatures that exist to tear apart anything warm and breathing and whole—he is already one of them.
Your fingers twitch at your sides, a single, involuntary movement—a minuscule crack in your otherwise controlled façade.
And he sees it.
A’s eyes snap to yours, sharp, cutting—watchful, calculating. As if he’s been expecting you. As if he knew you’d come for him eventually. And in that split second, as your gazes lock, everything else fades into irrelevance—the distant scuffle of the undead inside the store, the faint hum of wind rattling through shattered windows, even the dull ache of the bite festering beneath the cloth on your wrist.
Nothing exists except you and him.
And rage.
Not just any rage, not something small and fleeting, but white-hot, all-consuming fury, a fire burning through your exhaustion, through your impending death, through every single rational, calculated thought screaming at you to stop. It smoulders deep in your bones, in your gut, in every part of you that refuses to die quietly.
Because he’s the reason for all of this. For the horde. For the attack. For the pain. For the fact that you won’t make it out of here alive.
And the only thing keeping you on your feet now is the fact that you can still take him down with you.
You catch the flicker of recognition in his eyes, the way his posture shifts, muscles tightening just slightly, a nearly imperceptible change in stance—but you see it. He knows.
He knows exactly who you are.
He knows you’re not one of his people.
And most importantly—he knows exactly why you’re here.
The two of you stand on opposite ends of the store, separated only by the handful of stragglers that drift mindlessly between you, their sluggish footsteps scraping against the convenience store tiles, their vacant eyes locked on nothing at all. Their presence is nothing more than shadows in your periphery, a fleeting distraction at best.
Because neither of you is paying them any mind. 
All you see is A.
And the big red target painted on his fucking forehead.
He can’t run. Not with his busted ankle, not with the way his weight favours one leg, his body angled ever so slightly, betraying the injury that makes him vulnerable.
But you? You have nothing to lose
You start forward, feet moving before you can think, body surging toward him with nothing but determination and a blade gripped tight in your hand, a blade that will sink into his flesh, will find his throat, his gut, his ribs, wherever it needs to go to make sure he never walks away from this.
Because he can pretend all he wants. He can stand still, unmoving, playing the part of the dead, but at the end of the day, he is still breathing, still alive, still a man with flesh and blood and fragile bones just waiting to be broken. Even he cannot deny that.
His lips twitch, a small, almost imperceptible movement, his eyes never once leaving yours, never once shifting to the knife in your hand. And for a fleeting second, you swear you see something flicker behind his cold, unreadable stare.
Amusement.
You falter for only a second—because what kind of sick bastard smiles when they know they’re about to die?
But then, as you close the distance, as you near him, as you see that confidence solidify instead of waver, you realise. 
You realise exactly why he’s not afraid. Why he hasn’t run. Why he hasn’t even lifted a weapon.
Because behind him—just barely visible in the fragments of light filtering through the windows—is Jake.
Jake, hands held up behind his head, knees pressed against the floor.
Jake, bruised, but clean from a single drop of blood.
Jake, with one of A’s people standing behind him, pressing the barrel of a gun to his head.
And just like that—the fire inside you dies. Replaced by a cold, suffocating dread.
You catch Jake’s gaze, and at first, you see relief. The briefest flicker of hope, of recognition,  a split second where his shoulders sag just slightly, where his eyes light up with the knowledge that he is no longer alone. But then—his eyes shift downward to the cloth wrapped tightly around your wrist.
And in an instant, that relief shatters, crumbling away like brittle ash caught in the wind, fragile and fleeting, gone before it ever had the chance to settle. In its place, something else takes root—something desperate, something urgent, something so raw, so visceral, so utterly unlike the Jake you know that it makes your breath catch in your throat.
His entire body locks up, his muscles coiled so tight it looks painful, the shallow rise and fall of his chest quickening, his hands clench into fists so hard his knuckles must be turning white.
His eyes burn into yours, wide, frantic, pleading—pleading in a way that digs into your ribs, twists deep inside your gut, something you can’t quite place, something you don’t fully understand.
And it’s strange, isn’t it? That even with a gun pressed to his temple, even in a precarious situation where one wrong move could send a bullet straight through his skull, he’s not thinking about himself.
His panic, his urgency, isn’t for his own survival.
It’s for you.
For a second—just a second—you hesitate, your mind whirling, trying to grasp what he’s trying to tell you, what you’re missing.
But there’s no time to dwell on it. No time to think, no time to question, no time to search for meaning in the way his entire being is screaming at you to understand.
Instead, you turn your attention back to A, who remains completely unmoved, completely at ease, as if he has all the time in the world, as if he has already won.
He’s waiting.
Daring you to make the first move.
You don’t even realise you’ve started taking bigger, louder breaths until the zombie nearest to you stirs, its rotting head snapping in your direction. A low, guttural groan rumbles deep in its throat, and you feel it before you see it, the way the air shifts as it lunges, arms outstretched, grasping for you.
Your bosy moves purely on instinct, swerving just as its decomposed hands are inches away from closing around your arm, the stench of rot thick in the air, the feel of decayed fingers barely grazing your arm. Your body moves on instinct, twisting sharply as your blade buries itself into the side of its temple, the force of the impact jarring up your arm.
The body slumps lifelessly against you. Carefully, you lower the corpse onto the floor, moving slowly, deliberately, making sure the thud isn’t loud enough to draw more attention, isn’t enough to stir the other stragglers roaming idly around the store.
You straighten up, closing the already minimal space between you and him, your breath steady despite the inferno of rage burning in your chest. Your voice is low, controlled, barely above a whisper, but it carries enough weight to cut through the stagnant air between you.
"What do you want?"
A’s smirk only deepens, his amusement evident in the slight tilt of his head, the lazy glint in his eyes as if he’s enjoying a private joke only he understands. His gaze flickers—just briefly—to your wrist, to the cloth wrapped tightly around it, to the mark of death you can’t erase.
He leans in slightly, just enough that you can practically feel his breath against your skin, cold, calculated. “Some people aren’t meant to walk with the dead.”
His voice is almost mocking, a quiet, knowing whisper that sends a shiver down your spine—not out of fear, but out of sheer hatred, out of the overwhelming urge to wipe that smirk off his face permanently. Your jaw clenches. Every muscle in your body is coiled tight, fingers curling into fists so hard they shake.
But he isn’t done.
He’s watching you, watching the way your body responds, the way your shoulders tense, the way your pulse ticks at your throat like a countdown.
"You know what I want." His voice is softer now, coaxing, as if he’s talking to a wounded animal that he already knows has nowhere left to run. “Bring them all here. Then, I’ll do you a favour and kill you first so you won’t have to see the rest of them die.”
A muscle twitches in your jaw.
Your nails dig into your palms, the sharp sting grounding you, reminding you to stay focused, to stay in control, to not let him get inside your head. But he’s poking the bear, prodding, testing your limits, waiting to see if you’ll snap, if you’ll give him exactly what he wants.
But you won’t.
You tilt your head slightly, eyes locking onto his, gaze unwavering. And then, you smile—a slow, sharp, deliberate thing that doesn’t reach your eyes.
"You’re lucky I wasn’t with them the first time you came around," you taunt, voice like razor wire slipping between your teeth. "If I was, you wouldn’t be here today."
It’s small, almost imperceptible, but it’s there—the slightest tightening of his jaw, the faintest shift in his smirk. But just as quickly, it’s gone, replaced with something colder, sharper, something that tells you he isn’t nearly as amused as he pretends to be.
He leans back ever so slightly, tilting his chin upward, watching you through lidded eyes, his expression unreadable but for the lazy smirk that lingers at the corner of his mouth. There’s something infuriating about the way he looks at you—like he’s already won, like this is just another game to him and you’re nothing more than a predictable piece moving exactly where he expects you to.
And then, with the same air of condescension, his voice drips with mock sympathy.
“Bold words,” he murmurs, gaze dropping to your wrist again, his smirk curling cruelly. “For someone who’s decaying from the inside out.”
You scoff, a sharp sound that escapes before you can stop it, too raw, too bitter. The sound catches the attention of a nearby zombie, its head snapping toward you with an unsettling quickness. Your pulse spikes, breath halting as you brace yourself, waiting—watching as its cloudy, lifeless eyes bore into you, as its decayed jaw slackens just slightly, the hunger instinctually drawing it closer.
But then—just as quickly—it loses interest. It turns away, wandering aimlessly once more, the absence of immediate movement or sound enough for it to forget you exist.
Still, the close call is a warning, a reminder of the tightrope you’re walking. One wrong move, one misstep, and this entire situation implodes.
Your grip tightens around the handle of your knife, fingers twitching at your sides, restless, itching to do something—anything. It would be so easy to lunge at him, to close the gap and drive the blade right into his throat before he has a chance to react. So easy. But that flicker of impulse is immediately stamped down by the harsh reality pressing into you from all sides.
Jake is still here. Alive, but restrained. One wrong move from you and A wouldn’t hesitate. He wouldn’t need to. He’d give the signal and Jake would be dead before you could even reach him.
And then there’s the other problem.
If Jake is here, tied up and weaponless, then where the hell are Jungwon and Sunghoon?
Your mind races, scanning every darkened corner, every shifting silhouette. But there’s no sign of them. No indication that they’re nearby. That realisation twists deep in your gut. Why is Jake alone? Where are they? What the hell happened?
You don’t have an answer. And that uncertainty sits like a loaded gun in your chest.
Your fingers twitch at your sides, restless, searching, fidgeting with a tension that has nowhere to go. Every instinct in your body is screaming at you to act, to move, to do something, but you’re trapped in this silent battle of wills, locked in a standstill with no clear path forward. Your mind races through every possibility, every potential way out of this mess, every scenario where you and Jake walk away from this moment alive and victorious. But the answers aren’t coming fast enough, and the air in the convenience store feels heavier, thicker, pressing down on you like a slow suffocation.
And then—you feel it.
The cold, unyielding press of metal against your lower back.
Your breath catches in your throat, a sharp inhale freezing mid-motion as the weight of realisation crashes down on you all at once.
A loaded gun.
For a second, you almost don’t recognise it, almost don’t remember that it’s even there, tucked securely into your belt, hidden beneath the layers of fabric and blood. It had been an afterthought, an object tucked away with no real intention of use, something you’d taken before everything spiralled, not because you had a plan for it, but because you needed a safety net. Something—anything—to hold onto in case everything went wrong.
You never learned how to shoot. Not properly, at least. You were never given the chance. Growing up, the idea of wielding a firearm had been as distant to you as a foreign concept, something seen only in movies, something you assumed you’d never have to understand, let alone master. You don’t expect to see guns out in the open for sale in the bustling streets of Seoul. And even after the world fell apart, even after survival became a daily battle against death itself, it’s rare to come across one.
And frankly, you never saw the point. A gun without proper aim is nothing but a loud, clumsy liability, something that could just as easily get you killed as it could save you. So why carry one? Why even bother when you’ve survived this long without one?
There is one bullet in the chamber.
Not for A.
Not for his people.
For you.
It had been your contingency plan, your last resort, the one unshakable guarantee that no matter how bad things got, no matter how horrifying or painful or inescapable the situation became, you wouldn’t suffer. If the horde overwhelmed you, if there was no way out, if you were backed into a corner with no escape, you wouldn’t let yourself be torn apart piece by piece, wouldn’t let yourself become something less than human. You wouldn’t give the world the satisfaction of watching you die in agony.
You’ve seen them clawing at the dirt, crying out, calling for help that never came. You’ve heard the guttural, gurgling sounds of people choking on their own blood, felt the sickening dread of knowing that it could have just as easily been you.
And if you were ever put in a position where the only certainty left was how you would die—you’d make that choice yourself.
And thus, the opportunity presents itself. 
A isn’t armed. You noticed it earlier, a small detail that didn’t quite sink in at first—how his movements were too relaxed, how his hands never once reached for a weapon, how his entire demeanour was soaked in unwavering, untouchable confidence. He never needed a weapon. He never wanted one. Not when he had other people to do the dirty work for him. Not when he truly believed no one could touch him.
That’s how arrogant he is. How assured he is in his control over the situation.
And that’s his mistake.
Because it means the only real threat here is the gun trained on Jake’s skull, the one held in steady, unwavering hands by one of A’s people. That’s the real obstacle. That’s what’s keeping you locked in place. That’s the only thing standing between you and the end of this.
All you have to do is take them out first.
The thought slams into you like a jolt of electricity, sending adrenaline surging through your body. If you can eliminate the shooter before they have time to react, before they have time to pull the trigger—then Jake is safe. 
And A is nothing
Your eyes flicker toward Jake, searching for any indication that there’s more waiting in the shadows, another gun trained on you that you haven’t noticed yet. You can’t afford to make a mistake.
Jake meets your gaze, and without hesitation, he blinks once.
One blink. No other threats. One blink. He’s ready.
A watches you, his lips curling slightly, like he can already see through you, like he knows you’re scheming, planning, biding your time. He tilts his head, voice dipping into something almost casual, like you aren’t standing here, seconds away from tearing him apart.
“You met them a little over a week ago,” he murmurs, his gaze sharp and assessing. “You shouldn’t be tied down to their fate.”
You exhale slowly, carefully shifting your weight, your fingers inching toward the gun, deliberate, unhurried. Keep him talking. Keep him distracted.
“I’ll decide my own fate,” you mutter, eyes locked onto his. “I don’t need you to tell me that.”
A chuckles, the sound quiet but mocking, like he’s already won. Like this is nothing more than a game to him. His gaze flickers briefly to your bandaged wrist, then back to your face.
“Little advice for you, kid.” He takes a slow step forward, but you don’t flinch. You keep your stance firm, your hand still moving, creeping over the fabric of your shirt, closer to the gun. “Getting tied to people gets you killed. But I mean, you already knew that, didn’t you?”
Your fingers brush over the cool metal, curling around the grip.
You offer him a slow, humorless smile, tilting your head just slightly.
“Well,” you murmur, pressing your fingers to the safety.
Click.
“Some of us aren’t total monsters.”
And then, before he can react—before he can move—
You pull the trigger.
The explosion of sound is deafening. The recoil snaps through your arm, a jarring force you weren’t prepared for, and the bullet veers off course. It doesn’t land where you aimed—it buries itself into the shooter’s shoulder instead of their head.
Fuck.
The man staggers back with a choked grunt, his grip on Jake momentarily loosening as pain jolts through his body.
Jake reacts in an instant. He lunges, slamming his full weight into the injured man, the two of them crashing to the ground in a tangled heap of limbs, knocking over supplies and sending debris scattering.
The gun clatters, skidding across the floor.
You barely register the chaos behind you, because the moment the shot rings out, A moves.
Before you can raise your weapon again, before you can so much as take a breath, he’s already on you. He’s fast. Faster than you anticipated. Faster than you.
His hands slam into your shoulders, knocking you backward, the force nearly sending you sprawling. You fight back, snarling, twisting in his grip, but he’s stronger. Too strong. You can’t break free.
The dead outside have heard the gunshot and they are coming.
You feel them before you see them. The groans rising like a tide, the slow shuffle of feet gaining momentum, the weight of their rotting hunger pressing into the air, suffocating and thick.
You twist in A’s grip, your movements frantic, desperate, every muscle in your body straining as you try to break free. But his hold is unyielding, his fingers digging into your arms like iron clamps, his strength overpowering yours with terrifying ease. You can feel it—the walls closing in, the suffocating weight of bodies pressing toward you from all directions, the sharp sting of panic threatening to steal your breath.
“Jake, hurry!” Your voice is sharp, nearly cracking under the sheer force of your desperation. 
But Jake is not a fighter. He’s struggling, barely holding his own as he wrestles with A’s man, managing to keep him from reclaiming the gun but only just. His opponent is heavier, stronger, and the blood gushing from the fresh bullet wound has only made him more reckless, more desperate.
The dead are nearly here.
The scent of blood is thick in the air, drawing them in like moths to a flame. You can feel the heat of their decaying bodies pressing closer, their guttural moans blending into a single, endless drone, the sound of hunger, of death. If you can’t get out of this, if there’s no escape, then you have to make sure A doesn’t either. You have to make sure that no matter what happens, no matter who gets out of this alive, he doesn’t. No chance to slip back into the horde. No chance to hide among the dead. No chance to run.
You tighten your grip around the handle of your knife and thrash wildly, your strikes reckless, driven by pure instinct. You don’t care if you cut yourself in the process, don’t care if the blade grazes your own skin, drawing shallow, stinging lines of crimson. All that matters is that it lands. That it finds him.
A jerks back suddenly, his entire body flinching, and you see it—the change in his face, the split second of realisation, of pain. Then your eyes drop to the large, red gash on the side of his neck.
You should’ve cut deeper. You should’ve slashed his throat clean through—ended him right then and there. But it doesn’t matter now. Blood is already seeping from the gash in his neck, slow and steady. It’s enough. It’s already too late.
Both of you are exposed.
A’s eyes dart wildly around, searching for an exit, but there’s nowhere to hide, nowhere to run. The dead are closing in from every side, their rotting hands reaching, clawing, desperate to feed. And if A’s man still had any instinct for self-preservation left, he’d leave Jake and slam the door shut behind him, locking both you and A out with the monsters.
"Let go!" A snarls, his voice rough with panic as he struggles to pry you off him, his hands shoving at your arms, trying to shove you away. But you don’t budge. You won’t. You tighten your grip, interlocking your fingers around his waist, locking yourself to him like a shackle, and you’re not letting go.
Not until he’s dead.
And just as you think this is it—just as you feel the first flicker of real, visceral fear rise up in your chest, just as the cold, sharp edges of inevitability sink their claws into you, just as the thought creeps into your mind that maybe you really should’ve saved that last bullet for yourself—
Gunfire.
The air explodes with the sound of gunshots, sharp and relentless, each blast cutting through the night like a violent crack of thunder. The dead closest to you drop instantly, their bodies collapsing one by one, skulls shattering as bullets find their mark.
A’s grip on you falters.
And then, they rush in. Descending upon the chaos with deadly precision, their movements quick, cutting through the horde with ruthless efficiency. The tide turns in an instant.
Sunghoon is the first to reach Jake, his blade flashing as he knocks A’s man off balance, wrenching him away before he can reach for the gun again. Together, he and Jake overpower him, slamming him down against the floor.
Meanwhile, Sunoo and Heeseung step between you and A, weapons raised, forming an impenetrable barrier between you and the man who ruined everything. Their eyes burn with unspoken intent, with the quiet, simmering rage of those who have had enough.
Jungwon, Jay, and Ni-ki hold the line, their gunfire keeping the dead at bay, preventing them from pressing in too close.
“Move!” Heeseung barks. “Inside! Now!”
No one hesitates.
You scramble, breath ragged, every muscle in your body screaming in protest, heart slamming in your chest as you follow the others through the narrow threshold. The door to the back is right there—safety is right there—
And then—
BANG.
BANG.
You turn just in time to see A crumple to the floor, both of his ankles torn through with bullet wounds, both of his legs rendered completely useless.
Jay stands over him, gun still aimed, his breathing heavy, his face cold, empty. He doesn’t say anything. Just watches as A writhes in pain, as he bleeds, as he realises.
Realises that he won’t be running. That he won’t be escaping. That he will be left behind.
And yet—even now, even with blood pooling beneath him, even with the moans of the dead growing closer, even with death right in front of him—A doesn’t beg. He doesn’t plead for his life. He doesn’t ask for mercy.
Because A would rather die than put down his fucking ego.
Jay scoffs, the corner of his mouth twitching in disgust, and then he spits on him before turning his back, walking away, leaving him to his fate.
Jungwon is the last one through the door, covering the retreat, making sure everyone is inside before he slams the door shut behind him.
And then—
Silence.
Except for the sound of the dead finally reaching their meal.
After that, the dead collide against the barricade almost instantly. Fists pound against the door, muffled groans spilling through the matter.  the suffocating chorus of hunger and decay filling the space. The sound is deafening, the sheer force of their weight against the door sending vibrations through the walls, amplified by the echoes bouncing off it.
Heeseung, Sunoo, and Jungwon move fast, dragging a heavy metal shelf in front of the door. It’s not much, but it’ll hold—for now. The dead lose interest when the noise dies down, but that could take hours. And hours are something you don’t exactly have.
Ni-ki moves toward the nearest lantern, striking a match and casting the room in dim, flickering light.
And that’s when you see them. The faces of the people you thought you’d never see again.
“You just signed all of our death warrants, you bitch—” The gunshot splits through the air like a whipcrack, the force of it reverberating in your chest, leaving a high-pitched ringing in your ears.
“Dude, a little warning wouldn’t hurt.” Sunghoon winces, hands flying to the sides of his head.  Your gaze darts toward the source of the shot, chest heaving. 
A’s man slumps lifelessly against the wall, blood seeping from the hole in his forehead, his body sliding to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut. For a moment, you had forgotten about his presence.
You shift your gaze to Jungwon standing above him with his gun still raised, smoke curling from the barrel, his face unreadable, eerily blank, like he didn’t just pull the trigger.
Jungwon exhales sharply, pushing his weapon back into his belt before turning to Jake, his tone clipped, demanding, frustration bleeding through the words. “Jake. What the hell happened?”
He doesn’t look at you. Not once. But you feel it—the weight of his awareness, the way his presence feels suffocating, like he’s fighting every urge in his body to acknowledge you.
Jake runs a hand down his face, shaking his head, muttering under his breath before looking up. “I was prepping for the procedure, and he jumped me. God, these freaks are everywhere. I might end up with PTSD.”
Procedure?
Your eyes flicker downward, only now registering the assortment of supplies spread out across a tattered t-shirt on the floor. A whole bottle of antiseptic. Some painkillers and a shit ton of gauze. But it’s the saw that makes your stomach twist, the metal edge reflecting back at you.
Your stomach lurches.
“What the hell is going on?” You rip the mask off your head, the stale scent of rotting flesh still clinging to your skin, to your clothes, making you want to peel yourself apart just to feel clean again. The weight of the air shifts, thickening like a storm cloud about to break as every gaze in the room lands on you.
It’s Jake who speaks first, voice heavy with something you don’t want to name.
“We’re taking it off.”
Your breath catches. The words take a second to register. “What?”
Jake doesn’t hesitate. He doesn’t waver. He just stares at you, deadpan, like he didn’t just say the most absurd thing imaginable.
“We’re amputating your arm.”
You’re not stupid. You know exactly what they’re suggesting. You’re not oblivious to the ‘Zombie Apocalypse Movie Logic 101’ that claims amputating an infected limb can stop the spread. It’s the golden rule in every survival horror scenario—get bit, cut it off fast enough, and you live.
But that’s the movies. That’s the neat, sanitised version of survival. The one where things make sense, where there are rules to follow and a clear cause-and-effect.
This? This is real. This is your arm. Your flesh and bone and veins and muscle, all still attached to you, still functioning, still yours. And in just a few minutes, they want to rip it from you. To cut it off like it’s nothing more than dead weight.
Your stomach churns, nausea curling at the edges of your ribs, pressing against your lungs.
Heeseung nods, stepping in. “We don’t have a choice. If we don’t—”
“We don’t even know if it’ll work,” you cut in, voice sharp, the panic rising in your chest. “That’s just—movie logic. ‘Cut the limb and you won’t turn.’ But this isn’t a movie, Heeseung.”
Jake shakes his head. “Lieutenant Kim said it would work.”
Your pulse spikes. “And you’re just taking her word for it?”
“She was bit.”
You freeze.
“She came into the treatment facility with her stump that day,” Jake says, his gaze never leaving yours. “Because of a zombie bite. I didn’t know it then, but that’s what happened. She was bit, they cut it off, and she survived.”
You stare at him, your mind racing.
“She told you this? Just gave up that information out of the kindness of her heart?” You scoff, but there’s no humour behind it. “With what intentions?”
Jake’s jaw clenches, his fingers twitching slightly against his thigh, like he’s holding something back. “She said she’d tell us how to keep you alive if we let her go.”
Your breath stutters, your pulse hammering against your ribs, slamming against your skull. Your arm. Your fucking arm.
“Lieutenant Kim survived,” he presses. “She’s living proof that it works.”
“She’s also a manipulative liar,” you snap back, the words sharp, defensive, because you need them to understand. “She told you that to get inside your head. She knew I’d been bitten, and she knew you’d do anything to—”
“To save you.”
You turn to Jungwon instinctively, expecting to see determination in his face, that unwavering resolve, that look he always carries—the one that says he knows exactly what to do, that he has a plan, that everything will work out because he will make it work.
But it’s not there.
“She knew we’d do anything to save you,” he repeats, softer this time, but just as certain. His eyes bore into yours, dark and unyielding, like he’s trying to force you to understand something. Something you already know, but can’t let yourself believe.
"Even if it did work,” you swallow thickly, forcing the words out through the lump in your throat, “It’s been—what, close to an hour since it happened? Wouldn’t it be too late for that?"
Jungwon doesn’t answer immediately. He just looks at you, like he’s seeing through every single excuse you’re trying to build, every wall you’re scrambling to put up. And when he finally speaks, his voice is so quiet, so wrecked, that it nearly breaks you.
"Please, Y/N." His lips part like there’s more he wants to say, like there’s a thousand different ways he’s trying to beg you to let them do this.
It’s not that you don’t believe them. In fact, you want to. Hell, if there’s even the slightest chance that this could save you, shouldn’t you be grasping at it with both hands? Shouldn’t you be clinging to it like a lifeline, like a drowning person reaching for the surface, desperate to breathe? The opportunity to live is being presented to you so clearly, placed right in front of you on a silver fucking platter, and all you have to do is take it. Just say yes. Just let them do this, let them save you.
You don’t have to die.
You can stay. You can keep going. You can keep living with them. You can wake up tomorrow with a future still ahead of you, with people still beside you, with hands that still reach out for you, that hold you.
But it sounds too good to be true. And frankly?
You’re fucking terrified.
Because losing an arm in the apocalypse isn’t just an injury—it’s a compromise, a cost you carry long after the blood has dried and the pain has dulled. It’s not just about surviving the amputation, gritting your teeth through the unbearable agony, or hoping the infection doesn’t creep past the point of no return. It’s what follows. The dull throb of vulnerability that will never quite fade. The countless things you won’t be able to do anymore, the tasks that used to be second nature suddenly becoming battles of their own. The way you’ll be slower, more dependent. The fear that you’ll no longer be an asset, but a burden.
And for someone like you, who’s only ever known survival as a solitary act—who’s always been prepared to run, to fight, to make the hard call alone—that sheer helplessness is the worst fate of all.
Otherwise put, it’s another death sentence all on its own.
But then, a sobering realisation creeps in, subtle and quiet at first, like the distant onset of dawn after a long, harrowing night.
That line of thinking, that desperate need to prove yourself—to do everything alone—that’s exactly what got you bitten in the first place. 
You went after Ni-ki because you couldn’t sit still. Because you couldn’t trust someone else to save him. Because some part of you believed it had to be you. That it always had to be you.
You were wrong.
And now, looking around at their faces—worn, bloodied, exhausted, but here—you finally understand something that’s eluded you until now: you were never alone to begin with. You never had to be. You were so afraid of becoming a burden that you never stopped to realise they wanted you here. That they would’ve carried you if your legs gave out. That if you lost one arm, you still had the arms of seven others, ready to catch you if you fell, ready to fight beside you, to lift you back up, to remind you that survival isn’t about strength—it’s about togetherness.
So what if you’re missing an arm?
You’re not missing them.
And with that thought—terrifying and hopeful all at once—you realise you’re not afraid to try. Not anymore.
There’s hope. And this time, you’re not pushing it away.
You take a breath. You let it out. You force your voice to steady itself when you finally say, “Okay. Do it.”
The moment the words leave your lips, the tension in the room shifts. You hold Jungwon’s gaze, refusing to look away, watching the way his body visibly relaxes, the way his shoulders sag with something close to relief.
But before you can even dwell on it, Jake’s hand is grabbing yours, his fingers wrapping around yours with a steady, grounding pressure. “Which brings me to the part after we cut it off,” he says, and there’s something in his tone that makes your stomach twist.
He hesitates for just a second—just long enough for the weight of his words to sink in—before squeezing your hand, his grip firm, unwavering, serious. “Look, I’m no expert,” he admits, his voice quieter now, but no less intense. “I don’t know the first thing about amputation. But what I do know is that we can’t afford to waste time trying to control the bleeding.” His jaw tightens. “You’ll bleed out before we even get the chance.”
Your pulse pounds in your ears. You know he’s right..
But still, the words land like a punch to the gut, knocking the air from your lungs, making everything feel too real all at once.
“What are you suggesting?” you ask, and even though your voice is steady, even though you manage to keep yourself from shaking, there’s no mistaking the apprehension laced between the syllables.
Jake doesn’t hesitate this time.
“We cauterise,” he says, and the moment the word leaves his mouth, a cold chill slithers down your spine.
Burn.
Burn.
“We burn the tissue to seal off the blood vessels.”
The room goes deathly quiet.
You don’t move.
No one does.
The words settle in the air like smoke, heavy and suffocating, curling around your ribs, pressing into your lungs, sinking into the marrow of your bones.
You should have expected this. You did expect this.
But that doesn’t make it any easier to hear.
The image is already forming in your mind—the glowing red metal, the searing pain, the smell of burning flesh—your flesh. You can practically hear the hiss of skin melting away, the crackling of heat against raw, open muscle.
“You had the cloth tied tightly around your wrist. It’s not much, but it probably helped slow the circulation in your arm,” Jake says as he works, his voice steady but urgent. “But just to be safe, we’ll go higher up. Okay?” 
Jake’s hands move quickly now, faster than your thoughts can catch up. He tightens the belt high around your arms—farther up than where the bite is, closer to your bicep—just above the elbow, his knuckles pale from how hard he’s pulling, and you can already feel the tension building, the dull ache beginning to throb beneath your skin as the circulation cuts off, but it’s nothing compared to what’s coming, and everyone in the room knows it.
There’s a kind of silence that falls over the group—heavy, suspended in the air, the kind of quiet that only comes before something irreversible, something violent and sacred and necessary all at once—and you try to focus on their faces instead of the saw in Jake’s hand, on Jungwon’s eyes instead of the blowtorch Sunghoon is igniting in the corner, the hiss of flame catching and the low, anxious murmurs of the group as they brace themselves, not just physically but emotionally, for what this means.
You look down at your arm, really look at it—at the dirt under your fingernails, the faint scab from your tussle with A earlier, the way the bite has already begun to discolour the skin around it, bruised and swollen and festering. You’ve been bracing yourself for pain, for panic, for survival instincts to kick in and take over. But you didn’t expect... grief. And you realise how strange it is to mourn a part of yourself while it’s still attached, still warm, still undeniably yours.
Jungwon must’ve noticed the shift in your expression, the way your shoulders slumped and your eyes lingered a second too long on your soon-to-be missing limb, because he’s suddenly there beside you, silent and steady. He lowers himself to the ground with you, his presence anchoring, warm in the cold haze of panic tightening around your chest. His hand finds yours—tentative at first, then firmer, threading his fingers through yours with a kind of quiet desperation.
When you look at him, he’s already watching you, a faint smile curling at his lips. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes—those dark, storm-worn eyes—but he’s trying. He’s trying so hard to be strong for you. For the both of you.
And in that moment, you’re taken back to the rooftop, to the quiet under the stars and the weight of goodbye pressing on your shoulders like a second skin. To the kiss that felt more like a farewell than anything else. You’d kissed him thinking it would be the last time. Thinking that when you turned away, you’d never see him again.
Except now, he’s here.
He’s here, holding your hand like it’s the only thing tethering him to this reality. Like you’re the most precious thing in this godforsaken, broken world. 
You can’t help but wonder—just for a second—how nice it would’ve been to meet Jungwon under different circumstances. In a world where survival didn’t come at the cost of your body, your sanity, your soul. Where the air didn’t reek of rot and the weight on his shoulders wasn’t made of lives and impossible decisions.
You imagine meeting him as just… people. Two strangers on a campus somewhere, maybe sitting across from each other in a crowded cafe, or bumping into each other at a library, both reaching for the same book. Maybe you’d catch him staring first, his eyes kind and curious instead of shadowed and burdened. Maybe he’d laugh more. Maybe you would, too.
Would it still have been the same? Would the connection have still been as profound, as undeniable, if it wasn’t born from shared trauma, sleepless nights, and the kind of loyalty forged only in fire and blood?
You wonder if he would’ve still looked at you like this—with that mix of fear and hope and something far too deep to name. If you weren’t on the verge of dying, and he wasn’t on the verge of shattering over the thought of losing you… would you still find your way to each other?
Maybe. Maybe not.
But in this cruel, twisted world, you did. And that has to mean something.
Jake’s voice breaks through your haze, quiet but firm. “Y/N,” he says, and when your eyes finally meet his, you’re startled by the fear swimming in them. Not for himself. For you. “Ready?”
It’s not a question you’ve ever been asked before—not like this. Not with everything hanging in the balance. He’s not asking if you’re sure. You’re past that point. He’s asking if you’re ready to survive.
Your lips part, and for a second, nothing comes out. You want to tell him no. That you’re scared. That this is insane. 
Your mouth is dry. “Do it before I change my mind,” you whisper, and the words barely escape your lips, but Jake hears them. He meets your eyes and nods.
Jungwon’s grip tightens on your free hand, and you squeeze his back like a lifeline. You don’t dare look at him. You don’t want the last memory before the pain to be the look of fear in anyone else’s eyes—especially not his. So you stare straight ahead, jaw clenched, eyes fixed on the darkened ceiling, trying to focus on the feeling of his thumb brushing small, grounding circles against your knuckles.
You count the breaths—one, two, three—trying to slow your racing heart, trying to keep from shaking. The air feels suffocating, thick with tension and antiseptic, the faint metallic tang of blood already lingering before it’s even spilled.
And then the saw comes down.
The first cut isn’t clean. It never is. You feel everything—every jagged grind of metal against bone, every shred of sinew snapping apart, every nerve ending lighting up like wildfire. Your back arches involuntarily, and a choked scream tears from your throat before you can bite it back. Your vision blurs at the edges. You taste copper. You hear someone—maybe yourself—whimpering through clenched teeth. 
Jungwon’s face twists with every sound you make, like he’s taking on the pain himself, like he’d trade places with you in a heartbeat if he could.
Heeseung is holding your shoulder down now, murmuring something like “You’re okay, you’re okay, just a little more,” over and over again, but the words barely register past the blinding, searing pain clawing up your spine, blooming behind your eyes, threatening to black out your vision.
Jake’s hands are steady, but his jaw is clenched tight, his entire body trembling with effort and urgency as he pushes through. He’s breathing hard, sweat dripping from his brow as he works, and finally—finally—the saw breaks through the last layer of bone and your arm is no longer yours.
A ragged, guttural sound escapes you as your body collapses back against the floor, half-conscious, half-gone.
But it’s not over.
The smell hits you first—burning flesh, acrid and thick, clinging to the back of your throat like smoke. Then the heat follows, sharp and blinding. Sunghoon doesn’t speak as he presses the flat, glowing-red piece of metal—heated over the blowtorch until it shimmered with angry orange—against the raw stump of your arm. The pain that follows is worse than anything you’ve ever known.
You don’t even get the chance to brace yourself. 
Your body arches violently, back lifting off the floor as the searing pain explodes through you. The sound that tears out of you is guttural, inhuman, a cry that fractures the air like glass shattering. You’re vaguely aware of hands holding you down—Jungwon’s voice calling your name, Jake’s arms pinning your torso, Sunoo’s weight across your legs—but all you can feel is the heat, the sting, the way your skin sizzles under the metal, as nerves are seared shut, as blood vessels are cauterised in a last-ditch attempt to keep you alive.
Somewhere beyond the white-hot agony, you feel Jungwon’s hand squeeze tighter, anchoring you to this reality, to the present, to the part of you still fighting. His hold is desperate, unrelenting, like he’s trying to pull you back from the edge just by touch alone.
“Almost there,” Jake’s voice grits out somewhere near your shoulder, but it’s distant, muffled—like everything else right now, dulled beneath the roar of pain.
You close your eyes and focus on the hand still in yours.
Not the missing part of you. Not the blood. Not the fear.
Just the hand. Just the fight. Just the hope that you’ll come out of this still human.
Still you.
When it’s over, the wound is blackened and raw, but closed. The bleeding has stopped. The infection hasn’t had a chance to spread—at least, that’s what Jake says—but all you can do is lie there, broken and heaving and soaked in sweat, your entire world reduced to pain and heat and the gentle pressure of Jungwon’s hand still clutching yours.
You blink up at the ceiling, trying to focus, trying to process, and you can feel the tears slipping from the corners of your eyes. You turn your head, eyes finding Jungwon again, and the look on his face—it’s not just relief. It’s awe. Like he’s seeing you for the first time. Like you’ve done something miraculous. And maybe you have. 
Maybe choosing to live is the bravest, most impossible thing you’ve ever done.
Jungwon holds your gaze, and for a moment, just a moment, it’s like everything falls away—no groaning dead beyond the door, no blood, no rot, no pain. Just you and him. Breathing. Existing. Surviving.
And then, as if your body finally catches up to everything it’s just endured, the edges of your vision begin to blur again—this time not from pain, but from a bone-deep exhaustion that sinks into every inch of you like a slow, heavy tide. Your limbs feel weightless and leaden all at once, your head swimming, the sounds around you warping into something distant and echoing. You don’t fight it. You’ve fought enough. Your fingers, still curled around Jungwon’s, finally go slack as the blackness rushes in like a wave—and just before it swallows you whole, you let yourself believe, if only for a second, that maybe this time, you’ll wake up. 
Alive.
“She’ll wake up”
“It’s been hours, Jake."
“I know I’m trying. Fuck. All I can do is increase her dosage, there’s nothing…”
“We should tie her up”
“No, don’t fucking touch her. She’ll make it.”
“Y/N, hey.”
The first thing you hear as you claw your way out of unconsciousness is Jungwon’s voice—soft, frayed around the edges, trembling like it’s been calling out for hours. You can’t see him yet, not with your eyes still refusing to open, but you can feel him. The warmth of his hand wrapped around yours again, grounding you. Holding on. Not letting go.
The world filters in slowly—muted voices, the shuffling of feet, the low groans of the dead from somewhere far off, beyond these walls. Pain registers next, dull and distant, like it’s been muted under layers of cotton and morphine. Your entire body feels foreign—heavy, stitched together, fraying at the seams.
“She’s awake,” someone whispers. You think it’s Jake. There’s a rustle of movement, the creak of a chair, the scrape of boots on concrete.
Your eyelids flutter, heavy as lead, and when they finally lift, it’s like breaching the surface of water after being submerged too long. The light from the lantern stings, blurry shapes looming into focus. The ceiling. The cracked paint. And then anchoring everything into place—
Jungwon.
His face is pale, his eyes bloodshot, but there’s relief pouring off of him like sunlight after a storm. “Hey,” he breathes again, like it’s a prayer.
You try to speak, but your throat is dry. Instead, your fingers twitch faintly in his grasp—and that’s enough. His breath hitches, and he brings your hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to your knuckles like it’s the only thing tethering him to the earth.
“You scared the shit out of us,” Heeseung murmurs from somewhere to the side, his voice quieter now. There’s a kind of reverence in it, a shaky pride. “But… you did it.”
It’s then that you look down—only to find the empty space where your arm used to be. And that’s when it hits you—a phantom sensation, sharp and cruel in its illusion. You feel your arm. Or at least, you think you do. The fingers that aren’t there twitch, curl, ache with a strange pins-and-needles pressure that makes your stomach churn. 
You can feel them. You know they’re gone. And yet, your brain hasn't caught up, hasn’t let go. The absence is louder than the pain, more jarring than the wound itself. It’s like your body is mourning a part of you that still believes it exists.
And as if Jungwon can sense the storm building inside you, his hand moves. Gently, he reaches over and places it over your eyes, shielding you from the sight. 
It’s a kind gesture, but it breaks you.
The tears slip out before you even feel them coming. Hot. Endless. You’re crying—not just from pain, but from grief, from fear, from the shattering weight of everything you’ve endured. You sob, trembling, breath catching in your throat like you’ve forgotten how to breathe.
Your instinct is to push his hand away, to cover your face with your own—but the arm you reach for doesn’t exist anymore.
The moment you realise that, it shatters what little composure you had left.
A sob wracks through your chest, harder, harsher. Jungwon doesn’t speak. He doesn’t let go. He holds your hand like a lifeline, brushing his thumb in slow, steady circles, whispering nothing and everything all at once.
When the worst of it passes and your sobs taper into shaky breaths, they give you a moment—just long enough to collect the scattered pieces of yourself, to gather whatever fragile control you still have left. And then, with gentle hands and quiet encouragement, they try to get you to sit up. Your body feels detached, heavy and weightless all at once, but somehow you manage to push yourself off the floor with your remaining arm, groaning softly as you prop yourself up against the cold, cracked wall. Every muscle protests, trembling under the strain, but you force yourself upright.
Jake is already on his way over, crouching in front of you with another dose of painkillers in hand, pressed into a makeshift paper cup filled with water. You don’t resist. You open your mouth, let the bitter tablet sit on your tongue, let the water burn its way down your throat. It tastes like metal. Like dust. But you swallow it anyway.
“You’re not completely in the clear yet,” Jake says quietly, not meeting your eyes. He’s trying to keep his voice neutral, but the edge of worry bleeds through. “We still don’t know if we managed to cut off the infection in time…”
He pauses, hesitates—and that’s when your gaze meets his. His expression shifts, the corners of his mouth tightening ever so slightly.
“…You could still turn. We just—” He stops, drags a hand down his face, and exhales hard, like he’s trying to breathe out all the things he doesn’t want to say. “We can only wait and see.”
The words settle into your chest like stones dropped into water—silent but heavy, rippling through your body with a slow, suffocating ache. That terrible uncertainty… it's back again. And it’s worse than death. Because at least death is final. But this—this is a slow, crawling unknown. You could still die. Or worse, lose yourself piece by piece, until the thing left breathing isn’t you anymore.
But you don’t flinch. You don’t argue or cry. You nod. Not because you’re hopeful, but because you’ve made your peace with it. You tried. You gave yourself a chance, and maybe that’s more than what most people in this world get. Maybe that alone is something to hold onto.
“I’m cold,” you murmur, turning your head toward Jungwon, who’s still crouched quietly beside you. His hand is wrapped gently around yours, grounding you like it always does. He looks up instantly, eyes full of concern.
“I’ll go grab you a blanket. Wait for me,” he says softly, as if any louder would shatter the fragile stillness of the room. He gives your fingers one last squeeze, then pushes himself up and walks toward the basement.
The second he disappears down the hall, you shift your gaze to Jay.
He’s already watching you.
You give him a small, barely-there nod. A silent summons.
Jay limps closer, his body stiff, his face unreadable—but his eyes say it all. He kneels beside you, wincing as his knee hits the floor, and leans in so he’s eye level with you. His breath is steady, but there’s something tight in the way he holds it, like he already knows what you’re about to say and he’s bracing for impact.
“Can I ask you a favour?” you say, your voice hoarse, barely audible over the sound of your own heartbeat. You feel raw. Hollowed out. Your body is in shambles, and your mind is hanging by a thread.
Jay doesn’t answer right away, but the subtle twitch in his jaw, the clenching of his fists at his sides—it’s enough to tell you he understands.
You look him dead in the eyes.
“Jay… if I turn, I want you to be the one to put me down.” Your throat tightens, and you barely manage to get the next words out. “Don’t let Jungwon do it. Please.”
His expression doesn’t change much—but his eyes do. They flicker with pain, anger, and something dangerously close to grief. You know what you’re asking. You know the kind of burden you're placing on him. But you also know he’s the only one who can carry it. Not Jungwon. Jungwon would never recover. Not from this. Not from you.
Jay’s silence stretches, heavy and unbearable, until he finally gives you a small, solemn nod.
And in that moment, you feel a strange kind of relief.
Not peace. Not comfort.
But certainty.
A mercy, promised.
The others shift uncomfortably at the exchange, their movements small and fidgety—eyes darting between you and Jay, shoulders stiffening, breaths held like the air itself has become too fragile to disturb. You can feel it—how your quiet acceptance, your calm resolve, unsettles them more than if you were screaming or panicking. 
Because if you—the one who fought tooth and nail to live, who threw yourself into fire and fury without hesitation—have already come to terms with the possibility of dying, then what hope is left for the rest of them?
No one says it out loud, but the silence that follows is deafening. Heavy. Final. And for a split second, you wonder if it would’ve been easier for them to keep believing you’d make it. Easier to cling to the illusion that everything would be fine. But instead, here you are, calmly appointing your executioner—and they’re forced to imagine what it will look like if you don’t make it through the night.
You turn your head, eyes drifting toward the ground beside you, and your stomach twists at the sight of dried blood staining the concrete, smeared and congealed like rust. A few meters off to the corner, partially obscured by the shadows, you notice a thin cloth draped over something small and misshapen. You suspect it's whatever is left of your arm.
But before you get the chance to ask, Jungwon returns with a clean blanket, his footsteps hurried and almost frantic. He’s unfolding it as he approaches, his eyes darting over your form, checking, assessing, making sure you’re still here. Without a word, he drapes the blanket over you, his movements careful, almost reverent.
He slides down to sit beside you, his back pressed against the wall, elbows propped on his knees, eyes fixated on some point far away. The others take it as a cue to give you two some privacy, but in a room where every sound echoes off the cracked walls, nothing is truly private. You catch a glimpse of Heeseung pretending to wipe the hinges of a shelf and Ni-ki awkwardly pretending to help him, their attempts at subtlety so blatant it almost makes you laugh. Almost.
“How are you feeling?” Jungwon asks, his voice low, frayed around the edges.
“That’s a very difficult question to ask someone who just got their arm cut off.” You try for a joke, something to break the tension, to convince him you’re still yourself, that you haven’t changed just because a part of you is missing.
He flinches at your words, eyes flickering with something that looks suspiciously like pain. “I’m sorry,” he says, his voice strained.
“Hey, don’t apologise. None of this is your fault.” You try to sound reassuring, but the weight of everything is pressing down on you like a boulder. “Actually… I should be thanking you. For… you know, saving my life. All of you.”
He nods, but his gaze remains fixed on the floor, his fingers clenching and unclenching against his knees. The silence stretches, and you realise he’s waiting for you to say more. Waiting for you to voice the thoughts clawing at the back of your mind. So you push through, forcing the words out before you lose your nerve.
“Look, I know this isn’t… ideal.” You glance down at the blanket wrapped around you, the empty space where your arm should be. “But I’m alive. And that’s something. That’s… more than I expected to get.”
Jungwon’s jaw tightens, his shoulders tensing. He’s trying to keep his expression neutral, but you can see the turmoil bubbling beneath the surface. “You shouldn’t have expected anything less,” he mutters, his voice thick with frustration. “You shouldn’t have—” He cuts himself off, exhaling sharply, his hands raking through his hair. “We’re supposed to look out for each other. You… you shouldn’t have gone off on your own like that.”
“I know.” The admission comes out smaller than you intend. “I was reckless. And I’m sorry for making you all worry. I just… I couldn’t let A get away. Not after everything. I thought… if I could take him down, maybe everything would be okay. Maybe you’d all be safe.”
“We weren’t safe. Not with you out there risking everything by yourself.” His tone is clipped, tight, the anger barely contained. “You could’ve died. You almost did.”
“But I didn’t.” You insist, your voice wavering. “I’m still here.”
“Barely.” His retort is sharp, cutting through the air like a knife.
You swallow, your gaze dropping to the ground. “I made a mistake. I know that. But I’m still alive. I’m still here, Jungwon. And I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful to all of you.”
The words sound hollow even to your own ears, but you cling to them anyway, desperate to make him understand. Desperate to make him see that you’re not giving up, that you’re still fighting.
Jungwon’s expression softens just a fraction, but there’s something else there now, something raw and unguarded that makes your chest tighten. “You say that like it’s enough,” he whispers. “Like being alive is all that matters.”
“What else is there?” you ask, genuinely confused. “What else could possibly matter more than that?”
He stares at you, his eyes dark and searching, his breath coming in shallow, uneven bursts. And then he says it.
“It’s not—” His voice cracks over the words, like he’s tearing something out of himself just to say them. “It’s not okay.”
The air between you shifts, thickens. And you can see it now, the way his shoulders tremble, the way his fists clench and unclench at his sides. The way he’s fighting so hard to keep himself together, even as everything inside him threatens to break.
He won’t let himself be angry with you, not fully. So he’s turning it inward, letting it eat away at him from the inside out. And that realisation hits you harder than anything else.
“It is.” You meet his gaze, and something inside of you twists at the sheer desperation in his expression.
“No, it’s not!” His voice rises, cracking under the weight of everything he’s been holding in. “This isn’t okay! How—how can you sit there and say that like it’s fine?! Like you’re fine?!”
You stare at him, words caught in your throat. How do you explain that you’ve already accepted this? That you’ve resigned yourself to whatever happens next because you refuse to let it be for nothing? That you’re not afraid, not of this, not anymore. But the truth is tangled up with too many things you can’t say, too many emotions you can’t unravel, and before you can find the words, something shifts in Jungwon’s expression.
His breath shudders, his hands trembling slightly as they reach for you. The motion is quick, almost frantic. He grips your face between his hands, fingers pressing into your cheeks, his forehead knocking against yours with a force that feels almost desperate. His breath is warm, uneven, breaking against your skin like waves crashing against a shore.
“You don’t get to say that.” His voice is a ragged whisper, but it’s laced with a fury that you’ve never heard from him before. “You don’t get to tell me it’s okay. Because it’s not.”
You don’t move. You can’t. Jungwon is struggling to hold it together. You can feel it in the way his shoulders tremble with the force of his emotions, his grip too tight, like he’s trying to anchor you to him, to keep you from slipping away.
Slowly, carefully, you reach up with your remaining hand and place it over his, feeling the tension in his fingers, the desperation in his touch. You squeeze gently. “Jungwon.”
He doesn’t move. Doesn’t breathe. Just keeps staring at you like he’s trying to burn your image into his memory.
“You’re right,” you admit, your voice barely a whisper. “It’s not okay. I was foolish. I shouldn’t have gone off like that. I should’ve… I should’ve listened. I should’ve trusted you. I’m sorry.”
“No.” His response is immediate, almost desperate. His eyes widen, raw and searching, the pain in them so evident it makes your chest ache. “No, no, no. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have taken my frustrations out on you. You were doing what you thought was right. And I— I wasn’t there. I couldn’t protect you.”
You shake your head, the motion weak and unsteady. “You can’t protect me from everything. That’s not fair to you, and it’s not fair to me.”
He swallows hard, his gaze dropping to where his fingers twist together like he’s trying to wring the guilt out of his own bones. “Still… I should’ve been there for you. I should’ve kept you safe. And I didn’t. I’m sorry.” His voice is barely above a whisper now, breaking with each word like a confession he’s been holding back for too long.
For a moment, the two of you sit there in silence, breathing through the cracks and the grief and the terrible, crushing relief of still being here. Still being alive. You can feel his presence beside you, solid and real, his warmth bleeding into the coldness that has settled over your skin.
Then, slowly, Jungwon shifts closer, his hand reaching for yours, his fingers lacing through yours with a tenderness that nearly undoes you. His touch is cautious, like he’s afraid you might break under the weight of it.
He leans in, closing the gap between you, pressing his lips to yours so gently it feels like he’s trying to kiss away the pain, to erase the hurt he thinks he caused. His lips are warm, soft, trembling against yours like a prayer left unfinished.
His lips linger against yours, fragile and uncertain, like he’s trying to imprint this moment into something permanent—something real. You can feel the tremor in his touch, the hesitation tangled with desperation. It’s like he’s terrified you’ll disappear the second he pulls away. And maybe you are too.
Your eyes slip shut, drowning out everything but the warmth of his mouth against yours, the press of his forehead resting gently against yours. His breath mingles with yours, uneven and shallow, like he’s afraid that breathing too deeply might shatter whatever delicate thread is keeping you here, with him.
You feel the press of his fingers squeezing yours, a little too tight, as if he’s trying to anchor you to him. Like he thinks if he holds on tight enough, the universe won’t be able to rip you away. The heat of his palm against yours sends a shiver through you, a grounding touch in the midst of all this madness.
When he finally pulls back, his eyes are bloodshot, his cheeks damp. You don’t even know when he started crying. He must not have realised it either because he looks at you like you’re the one who’s breaking, like you’re the one who needs saving.
His thumb swipes clumsily over your cheek, catching tears you didn’t know were there. You’re crying, too. You’re both crying. Everything feels raw and exposed, stripped down to nothing but bruised nerves and shattered breaths.
“I’m so scared of losing you.” His voice is cracked, splintered with something vulnerable and jagged. “I tried so hard to protect you, to keep you safe… but I couldn’t. And I keep thinking… what if it’s not enough? What if I’m not enough?”
The words pour out of him like a wound ripped open, all his fears and failures spilling into the air between you. And it’s painful to hear, to see him like this—so torn apart, so desperate to make things right when all you’ve ever wanted was for him to simply be there.
“It was never about being enough,” you murmur, your voice trembling, your chest tight. “You’ve always been enough, Jungwon. Always. It’s me who kept pushing you away, who kept trying to do everything alone because I was too scared to let you in. Too scared that if I needed you… and you were gone… it would break me.”
His breath stutters, eyes widening like your words just cut him down the middle. You can feel the way his shoulders slump, like he’s crumbling under the weight of something neither of you can control.
“I was reckless,” you continue, forcing the words out even as your throat tightens. “I was so focused on trying to protect all of you that I didn’t even think about what it would do to you if I…” Your voice cracks, and you have to swallow hard before you can continue. “If I didn’t come back.”
A pained noise escapes him, something between a sob and a gasp. His fingers tighten around yours, knuckles white with the force of his grip. “Don’t say that. Don’t—don’t even think like that. You came back. You’re here. You’re—”
He breaks off, his voice cracking, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. You can see the way he’s struggling to keep himself together, to hold back the tide of emotions threatening to consume him. And it’s almost too much—to see him like this, to know that your recklessness has left him so utterly broken.
“I know,” you whisper, the words trembling on your lips. “I’m here. I’m still here.”
But you don’t say the rest. You don’t tell him that you don’t know if you’ll stay. You don’t tell him that the infection might already be spreading through your veins, that this might all be borrowed time. You can’t. Not when he’s looking at you like you’re the only thing keeping him grounded.
Instead, you reach up and brush your fingers against his cheek, wiping away the tears still clinging to his skin. His eyes flutter shut at the contact, his shoulders sagging as if your touch alone is enough to loosen the knots of tension twisted through his body.
You stay like that for a moment, your hand cradling his face, his breath trembling against your palm. It’s a fragile, fleeting moment—one that could break apart at any second. But for now, it’s enough.
You let out a shaky breath and pull your hand away, your fingers feeling cold in the absence of his warmth. Jungwon’s eyes open, and the pain there is still raw and bleeding, but there’s something else too. Something like determination.
“I can’t lose you,” he whispers, his voice fractured but laced with a desperate resolve, like he’s trying to will those words into reality.
“You won’t,” you manage to choke out, your voice trembling but certain. You’re not sure if you believe it yourself, but it doesn’t feel like a lie. Even if the worst happens—even if your body gives out—you know a part of you will always be with him. You’ll never truly leave him, not in the ways that matter.
A chill snakes down your spine, settling into your bones despite the blanket wrapped tightly around your body. Your teeth chatter involuntarily, the shivers wracking through you in waves. You must look like death itself, but you can’t bring yourself to care. Everything feels too heavy, too sharp. The world pressing down on you in all the wrong ways.
Without a word, Sunoo carefully slips a few instant heating packs from the MREs under your blanket. The warmth seeps through gradually, cutting through the chill. You offer him a weak smile, your gratitude clear even if you don’t have the strength to voice it. He nods back, his eyes clouded with worry.
“Jungwon.” Your voice is thin, trembling, but it’s enough to draw his attention.
“Hm?” He shifts closer instinctively, his body turning to face you, eyes locked onto yours with unwavering focus.
You lean into him, resting your head against his shoulder. It’s a familiar gesture, one that feels safe and steady even in the midst of everything else falling apart. He adjusts his position immediately, angling himself so you can settle against him comfortably. You feel his arm circle around your back, his touch gentle, protective.
“I’m sleepy,” you murmur, the words slurring slightly. “Will you sing me to sleep?”
His shoulders tense, and for a moment, he’s utterly still. You can hear the faint hitch in his breath, see the hesitation flicker in his eyes. There’s a long, heavy silence stretching between you. The only other sounds are the distant groans of the dead outside, the scrape of their feet against the ground.
You think you’ve asked for too much. That he’ll refuse. That he can’t find his voice when he’s barely holding himself together. But then—
He sings. And everything else—pain, fear, doubt—fades into a dull hum as his voice wraps around you like a cocoon. His singing is soft, unsteady at first, like he’s not sure if he’s doing it right, but then it smooths out, the melody gentle and haunting.
I remember tears streaming down your face When I said, “I’ll never let you go” When all those shadows almost killed your light
His voice is soft, barely more than a whisper, but it reaches you with startling clarity. It’s raw, tender, stripped down, like it’s not just a song but a plea. A promise he’s trying to etch into your bones, to keep you grounded, to keep you here. And you cling to it. To him. 
You can’t explain it—how his voice feels like fresh wildflowers blooming in the dead of winter, a warmth that cuts through the chill of the night. It’s soothing, cradling you in something that feels almost like peace.
I remember you said "Don't leave me here alone" But all that's dead and gone and passed Tonight
The others are quiet, their movements stilled. The faint glow of the lantern casts shadows across their faces, but you can still see the exhaustion etched into every line, the battles they’re fighting within their own minds. Even they seem to draw some measure of comfort from the sound of Jungwon’s voice.
Just close your eyes The sun is going down You’ll be alright No one can hurt you now
The vibration of his chest against your cheek is a steady, grounding rhythm. And as he sings, your eyelids grow heavier, your breathing slows, your body sinking further into his warmth. You let yourself drift, let his voice carry you somewhere else, somewhere safe.
You imagine the two of you sitting on the rooftop, legs dangling over the edge, the air cool but not cold. Your head rests on his shoulder, just like this. The sky is painted in hues of orange and pink, the sun setting gently over the camp. The dead are distant, irrelevant, nothing more than shadows on the periphery of a world that doesn’t matter.
Come morning light, You and I’ll be safe and sound.
As his voice drifts off, the last note hanging in the air like a whisper, you feel your breathing begin to even out. The pain is still there, lurking beneath the surface, but it’s dulled now, muffled by the warmth of his presence, by the lull of his singing.
“Thank you,” you mumble, your voice barely a thread of sound.
Jungwon’s fingers brush against yours, his touch delicate, careful. “Anything for you,” he whispers, the words thick and heavy with emotion.
And with that, you let yourself drift, surrendering to the dark, knowing that if you wake up—if you get through this—he’ll be right there, holding you just as tightly in his arms. Where you’ll hopefully feel safe and sound.
It’s a strange, surreal feeling. Dying. Or maybe not dying. Not yet, at least. You’re not sure where you stand on that precipice between life and death, but it feels like you’re hovering somewhere in between, suspended in a place where time stretches and folds in on itself.
You know you’re unconscious. You can’t move, can’t speak, can’t even open your eyes. But your awareness is still there, fragmented and hazy but present. You can feel things. Not clearly, but enough to know you haven’t crossed over to whatever’s waiting on the other side.
You feel the sensation of being lifted, your body handled with a gentleness that almost surprises you. Strong arms beneath you, cradling you with a care so profound it leaves an ache in your chest. You feel warmth when it comes, washing over you in brief, fleeting waves that seep into your skin like sunlight breaking through storm clouds.
Fingers brush over your face, cool and steady, tracing patterns against your feverish skin. You can’t tell who it is, but you can feel the touch, the way it lingers like an unspoken promise. Other hands move along your body—cleaning the grime and blood from your skin, changing the bandage on your arm with delicate precision. You feel the sharp sting of antiseptic, the pressure of gauze being secured, the subtle shifts of weight as someone tends to you, over and over again.
You want to thank them. To open your eyes and tell them that you feel their presence, that you know they’re trying. But the words are trapped somewhere deep inside of you, tangled and unreachable. Your lips refuse to move. Your throat remains closed off, like it’s forgotten how to form even the simplest syllables.
Is this what coma patients go through? Is this what it feels like to be stuck in your own body, powerless and mute, even as the world continues to turn around you?
You hear voices sometimes. They drift in and out, muffled and distorted like they’re coming from underwater. They’re talking to you, you think. But the words blur together, bleeding into a tangle of incoherent sound. You try to grasp at them, try to pull meaning from the noise, but it slips through your fingers like smoke.
There’s something else, too. A presence that lingers longer than the others. Someone who speaks to you more than the rest. The tone is familiar, threaded with desperation and something else you can’t quite name. Grief. Fear. Hope. Maybe all of them, maybe none. But it’s there, always there, like a thread tied around your heart, tugging you back toward the surface.
You don’t know how much time has passed. Hours. Days. Weeks. It all bleeds together in the darkness, in the endless nothingness that presses against your consciousness. You’re starting to get tired, when will this end?
The voices filter through the darkness, warped and distant, like they’re coming from the other end of a tunnel. But they’re clearer than before, threaded with urgency and something raw—grief, maybe, or desperation. Your mind clings to the sound, pulling the words apart, trying to make sense of them even as the fog threatens to drag you under again.
“You need to stop going off on your own. It’s not helping and it’s not going to do anything. They’re already gone.” The voice is steady, calm, but there’s a firmness to it, a caution wrapped in concern. You can’t place it, but something about it feels familiar.
“What if they come back?” The second voice is shaky, strained with the kind of fear that doesn’t fade with reassurance. 
“They won’t,” the first voice insists, its tone flat, resolute. But even you can hear the way the certainty falters, just barely, like the speaker is trying to convince himself as much as anyone else.
“What makes you so sure?” The desperation bleeds through, palpable and sharp. “What if they come back and someone else gets hurt? I can’t risk anyone else getting hurt. I’m already as fucked up as it is with Y/N. Her condition isn’t even improving and I fear what we forced her to endure only extended her suffering.” The voice cracks, and your chest tightens, a phantom ache curling around your ribs. You know that voice. You know the pain threading through it.
“Heeseung, did we make the right choice? Please tell me we made the right choice, fuck I—”
“Calm down.” Heeseung’s voice now, low and controlled, trying to slice through the panic. “No one else is getting hurt. A is dead. They won’t come back. You made sure of that, remember?”
A silence stretches out, heavy and oppressive. You can practically feel the weight of it pressing down on you, thickening the air until it feels like you’re drowning.
But Heeseung’s words echo in your mind. A is dead. They won’t come back. He made sure of that.
And there’s only one person he could be speaking to. Only one person who would tear himself apart over your suffering, who would unravel so completely under the weight of guilt and fear and desperate, clinging hope.
Jungwon.
Your heart clenches, but your body remains unresponsive, your mind drifting in and out of coherence. You try to reach for him, to push through the darkness, to let him know you can hear him. That you’re still here. But all you manage is a twitch of your fingers, a slight movement so small it’s swallowed by the void before anyone even notices.
But you keep trying. Because if Jungwon’s out there, tearing himself apart, then you have to find a way back. For him. For all of them.
The sudden ache that slices through your skull feels like someone drove a knife into your temple and twisted. It jolts you awake, your eyes snapping open with a sharp intake of breath. The sensation is violent, like you’ve been ripped from the clutches of a nightmare, thrust into consciousness without warning.
For a moment, everything is too bright, too harsh. The sunlight streams through the cracked blinds of the convenience store window, painting jagged patterns across the floor.
It’s warm, too warm, and it settles over your skin like a phantom touch—too real and not real enough all at once.
Instinctively, you try to raise your hand to shield your eyes, but your wrist jerks against something cold and unyielding. Bound. To a pipe. The realisation snaps you back to the present, and frustration coils hot and sharp in your chest as you struggle against the restraints. Your fingers twitch, but then the brutal, crushing reality slams into you—you only have one hand now.
You swallow down the bitterness clawing at your throat, the taste of defeat and something sour that you can’t quite name. Great. Just great.
Your throat is dry, sandpaper against itself, and when you try to call out, your voice splinters into nothing. Just a rasp of air, useless and cracked from disuse. The more you try, the worse it gets.
Panic wells up inside of you, desperate and clinging, but before it can take root, you catch the faintest sound of voices approaching. Familiar voices.
“I’ll be right there, just need to change into some clean clothes.” The voice is clear, casual, almost too normal for the chaos your body feels trapped in. Jay. His tone is light, but there’s a strain to it.
You hear the creak of the convenience store door being pushed open, and you catch a glimpse of him stepping through, but his eyes are trained somewhere else, attention diverted.
You can’t speak, can’t call out, so you do the only thing you can think of. You kick your leg against the floor, the dull thud echoing through the silence.
Jay’s head snaps toward you, his eyes widening, and his gun is raised before you even register the movement. The wariness in his gaze is immediate, sharp, but then recognition washes over him, relief crashing through his expression like a tidal wave.
“Oh my God, you’re awake.” His voice is breathless, disbelieving, and he practically trips over himself as he rushes to your side, dropping to his knees beside you. His hands fumble with the knot binding your wrist to the pipe, fingers trembling slightly, but he manages to free you, his grip gentle as he helps you sit up.
Your body feels wrong, hollowed out and strung together with threadbare strings, but you force yourself to lean against him, letting him take some of your weight as you shakily lift yourself off the ground. The muscles in your shoulders protest the movement, sore and strained, but you grit your teeth and push through it.
“Here, have some water.” Jay uncaps a bottle with one hand, his other arm still supporting you. He brings it to your lips, helping you take a few sips. The cool liquid hits your throat and you almost choke on it, coughing weakly, but you manage to swallow enough to soothe the dryness.
“Easy. Slow down,” he murmurs, concern etched into every line of his face. His eyes are searching yours, frantic and careful all at once, like he’s waiting for you to shatter before his very eyes. “Fuck, Y/N, we thought—”
He cuts himself off, voice cracking on the last word, and you feel the weight of it, the heaviness of everything he isn’t saying.
“Jay, how long was I out for?” You manage to rasp out, the words scraping against your throat like broken glass. Even forming a sentence feels like an insurmountable effort, your vocal cords strained and unused.
Jay’s eyes flit over your face, searching, as if trying to make sense of how you’re even speaking. His shoulders sag with a mixture of relief and something else—something darker, like guilt.
“Two weeks.” His voice is steady, but his eyes betray him. There’s a tightness to them, a rawness that makes your stomach twist. “You were out for two weeks.”
Two weeks. The words hit you like a punch to the chest.
Your mind reels, trying to grasp the reality of it. Two weeks lost to nothingness. Two weeks of hovering between life and death, of your body fighting a war you weren’t even conscious to endure. No wonder everything feels wrong—your muscles are stiff and unresponsive, your throat parched, your head pounding like it’s been split open and stitched back together with jagged threads.
Two weeks of them waiting. Of them not knowing if you’d wake up again. Of Jungwon—
“Where’s Jungwon?” The question tumbles out before you can stop it, the desperation in your voice painfully clear.
Jay’s eyes flicker with something unreadable, his mouth pressing into a thin line before he answers. “He’s… he’s out on patrol. He needed some air.” The hesitation in his voice is enough to set off every alarm in your mind.
“Air?” You echo, eyebrows knitting together. “For two weeks?”
“No. Not the whole time.” Jay shifts uncomfortably, his gaze drifting away from you. “He’s been here. By your side. Every damn day, refusing to sleep, refusing to eat properly. It’s a miracle he didn’t pass out himself.” He lets out a shaky breath, running a hand through his hair. “He was starting to lose it, Y/N.”
A pang of guilt twists in your gut, the knowledge of what Jungwon must have gone through sinking in like a knife. You picture him, sitting beside you, day after day, waiting for you to wake up, clinging to whatever scraps of hope he could find.
“And the others?” You ask, the words spilling out before you can overthink them.
“They’ve been taking shifts watching over you,” Jay admits. “Making sure you were warm enough, making sure the wound didn’t get infected. Jake’s been changing the bandages every day. Heeseung’s been… holding everyone together. And the rest of us are trying to… rebuild.”
You blink, your vision blurring slightly as you process his words. They’d all been here. All of them. Holding the pieces together while you lay useless, unconscious.
“Why was I tied up?” Your gaze drifts to the pipe your wrist was bound to, a slight indentation visible on your skin.
Jay’s expression darkens, guilt flashing across his features. “Protocol. Just… just in case you turned. We couldn’t risk… we couldn’t risk you waking up and—” His voice cracks, the words caught somewhere between apology and regret.
“It’s fine,” you interrupt, your voice a little stronger now. “I get it.” And you do. They were trying to protect themselves. From you. From the possibility of you being something other than yourself when you woke up.
“Wait here, I’ll go get the others.” Jay stumbles to his feet, his movements awkward, his gaze flickering away from you like he’s hiding something. His attempt at nonchalance is laughable, the tension in his shoulders giving him away. You can’t shake the feeling that there’s more he’s not telling you, but before you can question him, he’s already pushing through the door.
Moments later, the sound of hurried footsteps echoes through the store, followed by a voice so loud it nearly startles you.
“Y/N!” Sunoo barrels through the doors like a man possessed, clutching a bowl of soup so tightly you’re amazed it hasn’t spilled all over the floor. His eyes are wide, his expression straddling the line between joy and disbelief. The others spill in behind him, their faces painted with the same frantic relief, like they need to see you conscious with their own eyes to believe it.
“Thank fucking God, you’re alive.” Heeseung releases a shuddering breath, his shoulders sagging as he settles down beside you, his hand finding your shoulder as if he needs to touch you to be sure you’re real.
Jake practically beams, his grin wide and unrestrained as he kneels beside you, his eyes locked on your arm—or what’s left of it. He’s examining the stump like it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, pride practically radiating off him.
It’s clear he’s been obsessively monitoring your condition, and you owe him your life for it.
Sunoo inches closer, carefully holding out the bowl of soup, his hands trembling slightly. “Here. Try to drink a little. It’s not much, but…” His voice wavers, but his determination is solid. You allow him to help you take a few sips, the warmth sliding down your throat like liquid gold.
“How are you feeling?” Sunghoon’s voice chimes in from the side, his expression cautious but hopeful.
You try to force a weak smile. “I’ve been better. My body feels like it’s not even mine.”
“It’s normal,” Jake says, his hand finding your forehead, his touch gentle and cool. “You were out for two weeks, after all.” He nods, satisfied. “Your fever’s gone down, though. That’s a good sign.”
“Hell, you actually survived a zombie bite.” Ni-ki huffs, his arms crossed over his chest, his smirk almost impressed. “That’s… wild.”
“Yay, lucky me.” The sarcasm comes out dry, but the familiar edge of humour sends a ripple of relief through the group. As if hearing you joke, no matter how weakly, means you’re still you.
For a moment, the room feels lighter, their laughter filling the air like a breath of fresh air after weeks of suffocating tension. But it doesn’t last. Because the question that’s been gnawing at you since you woke up hasn’t been answered.
“What happened?” you ask, your voice tight. “Where did the horde go?”
The shift in their demeanor is instant. Bodies tense, glances exchanged, words swallowed. There’s a heaviness to their silence, a hesitation that makes your stomach twist.
“Guys… where’s Jungwon?” The panic slips into your tone before you can reel it back. “Don’t tell me he’s—”
“God, no. He’s fine.” Jake rushes to reassure you, but his expression is strained, like the truth is something jagged he’s struggling to hold.
“After you passed out…” Heeseung begins, his voice low and careful. “I guess his emotions sort of overwhelmed him. He—he wanted every one of the dead to be gone. Every last one. It was like he couldn’t stand the idea of them being near you.”
“He went out on his own,” Heeseung continues, his eyes darkening with something that feels like guilt. “He wanted to open the gate to draw them away, but… it was already open. Whatever remained of A’s people, they fled. Jungwon spent the next two days leading the horde away from here. And he wouldn’t let any of us help him.”
“Two days,” you echo, your heart sinking. Jungwon’s name leaves your lips like a prayer, like a plea.
“He’s been hunting the rest of A’s people after that, the ones who managed to escape.” Sunoo’s voice cracks slightly. “He’d come back late, just to check on you. He’d sit beside you, take short naps, then leave again.”
“He’s not… he’s not himself,” Heeseung admits, his gaze shifting to the floor. “He’s blaming himself for what happened. And now… he’s tearing himself apart trying to fix it.”
The revelation settles over you like a cold, heavy weight. You can feel the tension in their faces, the worry etched into their expressions as they recount what happened. Jungwon, running himself ragged. Jungwon, fighting alone. Jungwon, refusing help and throwing himself at danger over and over again.
Sounds awfully like someone you know.
You look around the room, catching the strained expressions on everyone’s faces. They’ve all been watching this unfold, powerless to stop him, just as they were powerless to help you when you were dying. The guilt must be eating them alive.
“He’s still out there?” you ask, your voice coming out smaller than you intend.
Heeseung nods, his shoulders slumping. “He’s… he’s been relentless. He comes back just to make sure you’re breathing, to make sure you’re… still here. But he doesn’t stay. Not for long.”
“Where is he now?” Your stomach twists painfully, a combination of hunger, exhaustion, and something far worse—fear.
“We haven’t seen him since yesterday,” Jay admits, his voice trembling. “He said he was tracking some of A’s people. Trying to make sure none of them come back.”
“He’s going to get himself killed,” you whisper, horrified. “Why didn’t any of you stop him?”
“We tried,” Jay interjects, his tone defensive but layered with shame. “He wouldn’t listen. Just… shut us out. Every time we tried to help, he pushed us away. Like he’s punishing himself or something.”
“That sounds like him,” you murmur, your heart sinking. You feel the weight of it now, the sheer magnitude of what Jungwon’s been doing. What he’s been putting himself through because of you. Because of his failure to protect you.
You want to get up. You want to run out there and drag him back yourself, force him to see reason, to stop tearing himself apart. But your body is still weak, your muscles still shaky from the long sleep, your mind still foggy with fever and painkillers.
“Where did he go last?” you ask, fighting to keep your voice steady.
“We don’t know,” Ni-ki admits, eyes dropping to the floor. “He’s not exactly good at giving details before he storms off.”
“But he’ll be back,” Sunghoon adds, though even he sounds unsure. “He always comes back to check on you.”
You stare at the door, the silence stretching out, the air thick with unspoken fears. Jungwon is out there. Alone. Hunting ghosts and chasing vengeance. And the worst part? He’s doing it for you.
You insisted they bring you outside the convenience store, claiming you needed fresh air—something clean, something that didn’t reek of blood and antiseptic. But the truth is, you were slowly losing your mind cooped up inside that building, the walls pressing in closer every hour, the air growing stale and heavy.
It wasn’t just the confinement—it was the not knowing. The isolation. The feeling of being cut off from everything happening beyond the convenience store doors.
You could hear the faint, muffled sounds of activity outside, the occasional barked order, the dragging of something across the pavement. But no one would tell you what was happening, not really. And you couldn’t stand the uncertainty.
The thought of being kept in the dark while the others were out there, exposed, dealing with the aftermath of everything that had happened.
So you’d demanded to be brought outside, your voice sharp and unyielding until they relented. They’d been hesitant, their concern clear in the way their eyes darted between you and each other, like they weren’t sure if moving you would make things worse. But you’d been relentless, and eventually, they caved.
Now, as Sunoo carefully lowers you into one of those old, rickety wheeled chairs they’d scavenged from behind the counter, you feel the cool air prickling against your skin, the sunlight filtering through the clouds like a balm. It’s not clean air by any means—still thick with the cloying scent of blood and decay—but it’s different. It’s real. It’s enough to keep the madness at bay.
And yet, as the wheels creak and groan beneath you, and Sunoo pushes you further into the open air, you realise that knowing what’s happening isn’t always a relief.
Because the aftermath of the battle stretches out before you like a twisted, grotesque canvas—blood smeared across the concrete, darkened and congealed where the sun has begun to bake it into the ground. 
But worse than that is the silence. The absence of groans and snarls from the dead. It’s all been replaced by the laboured breathing and strained grunts of your friends as they work. And that’s when you realise. Even though you wanted to know what was happening, even though you’d fought to be brought outside—it doesn’t make it any easier to face.
The others are working with grim efficiency, their movements mechanical, burdened with exhaustion but fuelled by necessity. They’re piling the bodies into the back of the van. Blood smears the metal doors and the ground beneath it, dark and sticky where it pools in shallow depressions.
Sunghoon and Ni-ki are doing most of the heavy lifting, their shoulders hunched, jaws clenched as they haul corpses over their backs and dump them into the van. The thud of lifeless weight against metal sends a shiver down your spine.
You catch glimpses of A’s people among the carnage—bodies twisted and torn, their limbs splayed at unnatural angles, eyes lifeless and empty. The horde had done its work well, the evidence strewn across the earth like discarded remains of a nightmare. 
You try not to look too closely at their faces but it’s impossible not to see them. A’s people. The horde. Everything blurred together in death, no distinction left between monster and man.
“They’re going to burn them,” Sunoo says, voice low and weary as he pushes you closer to the van. “We didn't know what to do with them. But they started smelling real bad so Heeseung suggested to…yeah.” His tone is flat, resigned, like he’s already distanced himself from the horror of it all.
You swallow thickly, the air tasting of gasoline and decay. Your gaze locks onto the pile of bodies—they are stacked like firewood, limbs twisted and broken, some barely held together by the flesh that remains. It’s a horrifying sight, but somehow you can’t tear your eyes away.
“Guess it’s better this way.” Your voice is a hoarse rasp, the words scraping against your throat. “No more traces. No more reminders.”
Sunoo’s expression flickers, his gaze sharpening as he looks down at you. “Nothing’s ever gone for good,” he murmurs. “We just… pretend it is.”
The heaviness in his words cuts through you, a bleak truth that settles like lead in your chest. Pretending. Isn’t that what you’ve all been doing? Pretending you’re safe. Pretending you’re strong enough. Pretending you’re not terrified of what comes next.
And as you watch them load another body into the van—this one smaller, thinner, a girl who couldn’t have been much older than you were when the world went to hell—you realise Sunoo is right. The bodies might be gone. The blood might be washed away. But nothing is ever truly gone.
You’re all just pretending.
The minutes blur into hours, a cruel, dragging passage of time where every creak of the door, every shuffle of footsteps sends your heart plummeting and soaring in equal measure. The others try to distract you—Sunoo attempts to feed you more soup, Jake checks your temperature again, Ni-ki keeps making offhand comments to lighten the mood. But nothing cuts through the anxiety clinging to your chest. Nothing numbs the gnawing ache of Jungwon’s absence.
He’s been gone too long.
You force yourself to stay awake, eyes fixed on the door like if you look away for even a moment, he’ll slip past and disappear for good. You hate the way your body feels so fragile, like you could shatter if you so much as breathe wrong. You hate that you can’t be out there with him, helping him, keeping him safe. Instead, you’re stuck here—waiting, helpless, counting the seconds as they bleed into one another.
Evening stretches into dusk, the world outside dimming as the sun begins its slow descent. Shadows creep along the walls, the air growing colder, the faint groans of the undead in the distance a grim reminder of the horrors beyond the barricade.
He’ll come back, you tell yourself, over and over again. He has to. He always comes back.
But as the hours continue to slip away, doubt begins to coil around your heart, icy and relentless.
Heeseung is the first to suggest you get some rest, his voice gentle but firm as he tries to coax you away from the door. But you refuse. You can’t sleep. You can’t even sit still. 
You try to imagine what Jungwon must be going through, the battles he’s been fighting—both with the dead and with himself. And it hurts. Because he shouldn’t be out there, tearing himself apart for you. Not for something that was your own fault to begin with.
The sun has almost fully dipped beneath the horizon when you hear it—the sound of the gate creaking open.
Your breath catches, and for a moment, you think you’ve imagined it. But then the others are stirring, their heads snapping toward the door, their eyes wide and hopeful.
You push yourself to your feet, the world tilting slightly as your legs tremble beneath you. The dizziness is immediate, but you force yourself forward, stumbling toward the door just as it swings open.
He’s there.
Jungwon stands in the fading light, his silhouette ragged and hunched, blood splattered across his clothes and dirt smeared across his face. His eyes are wild, haunted—like he’s been to hell and back and barely clawed his way free.
The moment his gaze lands on you, something inside him shatters. His shoulders sag, his knees nearly buckling. But he doesn’t hesitate. He crosses the distance between you in seconds, his arms encircling you, pulling you into him with a force so desperate it nearly knocks the breath from your lungs.
“Y/N.” His voice breaks over your name, the syllables raw and cracked. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, his entire body trembling as if he’s holding back a flood of emotions he can’t even begin to contain.
You feel his tears against your skin, hot and unrelenting. His grip on you is almost painful, fingers digging into your back like if he lets go, you’ll vanish right before his eyes.
“You’re okay,” he chokes out, the words tumbling from his lips in a frantic rush. “You’re okay. You’re awake. I—God, I thought—” His voice breaks completely, his breath hitching as a sob tears its way through him. “I thought you’d never wake up.”
You cling to him just as fiercely, your arm wrapped around him as tightly as you can manage. “I’m here,” you whisper, your own voice thick with emotion. “I’m okay.”
He pulls back just enough to look at you, his gaze sweeping over your face like he’s trying to memorise every detail, every line, every scar. His eyes are red-rimmed, swollen, his expression so broken it nearly crushes you.
“I’m sorry,” he rasps, his fingers trembling as they trace the line of your jaw, his touch feather-light, as if he’s afraid you’ll break under his hands. “I should’ve been here when you woke up. I should’ve—”
“No,” you cut him off, shaking your head. “You did what you had to do. You kept them safe. You kept me safe.”
His shoulders quake with the force of his sobs, his forehead dropping against yours as he struggles to catch his breath. “I thought I lost you,” he whispers. “I thought I’d lost you forever.”
“I’m here, Jungwon. I’m alive. I’m alive.” Your voice cracks, splintering like glass under too much pressure. And somehow, saying it out loud makes it feel real. Like the words themselves are anchoring you to the present, tethering you to something solid and true. You’re alive. The truth of it thrums beneath your skin, a steady beat you’d almost forgotten how to hear.
Jungwon’s eyes widen, his breath stalling like he’s forgotten how to draw air. His fingers tighten around yours, his grip fierce and trembling. “You’re alive,” he echoes, voice raw, like he’s trying to convince himself as much as you. 
“God, Y/N… you’re alive.” His voice breaks entirely, the words dissolving into a strangled sob.
You wrap your arm around him again, fingers tangling in the fabric of his shirt, clutching at him like he’s the only real thing left in the world. “I’m here,” you repeat, the words thick with tears. “I’m here, Jungwon. I’m not going anywhere.”
He trembles against you, his shoulders shaking as he lets himself break, lets himself feel every ounce of pain and relief and desperate, aching hope. And for a moment, it’s just the two of you, tangled together against the cold, cruel world outside. Two people clinging to each other like lifelines, refusing to let go.
And despite the ache in your body, the sheer exhaustion ravaging through your veins like fire, it doesn’t even compare to the yearning. The longing that pulses through you stronger than pain, sharper than fear. It’s like everything you’ve endured, every broken bone, every drop of blood spilled, has only been leading you to this moment.
His hands are trembling as they cradle your face, his touch impossibly gentle even as desperation trembles beneath his fingertips.
He presses his forehead to yours, his breath mingling with your own, both of you drawing in ragged, uneven gasps like you’re trying to remember how to breathe.
And then, his mouth finds yours, the kiss urgent and desperate and filled with everything he can’t say. His lips are rough and unsteady, his hands cradling your face as if you’re something precious, something he’s terrified of breaking.
“Jungwon…” His name leaves your lips like a plea, like a prayer, your voice barely more than a broken whisper.
“I’m here,” he breathes, his words shaking but fierce in their sincerity. “I’m here. I’m not leaving you.”
And you believe him. God, you believe him. Because you can feel it in the way his arms tighten around you, in the way his eyes burn with something deeper than relief—something like love, something like hope.
You press your face into the crook of his neck, breathing him in, grounding yourself in his presence. Because no matter how broken you feel, no matter how shattered and battered and barely holding on, Jungwon’s warmth fills the cracks. His presence mends the parts of you that have been fraying at the edges for so long.
When he finally pulls away, his eyes are searching yours, his breathing ragged and uneven. “Don’t ever do that to me again,” he says, his voice trembling. “Please. Don’t ever scare me like that again.”
You nod frantically, the motion sending fresh tears streaming down your cheeks as you cling to him, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt like it’s the only solid thing in a world gone mad. “I promise,” you whisper, the words spilling out with a fervency that feels like both a lie and a vow.
But even as the promise leaves your lips, you know it’s one you may never be able to keep. Because this world is a cruel, unpredictable place, where survival is measured in moments and safety is an illusion that can be torn away in an instant. And yet, despite the impossibility of it all, you want so desperately for it to be true.
Still, it’s a promise you’ll try your hardest to uphold. Even if you lose all your limbs, even if your body breaks and bends and folds beneath the weight of this relentless, unforgiving world, you’ll try. You’ll keep fighting for him. For all of them. For yourself. Even if every breath feels like a rebellion against death itself.
Jungwon tucks you in that night, his body angled towards yours as if trying to close every inch of distance between you. He lies on his arm, propped beneath his head, while his other hand gently threads through your hair, fingertips brushing tenderly against your cheek. His gaze is unwavering, his eyes tracing every detail of your face like he’s memorising you—like he’s still struggling to accept that this moment is real.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” you murmur, a soft smile tugging at your lips as you nuzzle into the warmth of his touch. His fingers linger against your skin, delicate and reverent.
“I was just thinking how nice it would’ve been if we’d met in the world before all this,” he admits, his voice barely more than a whisper, each word weighed down by longing. The vulnerability in his tone is disarming. And you know exactly what he means. You’d had those thoughts before, fleeting and bittersweet. Wondering what it would’ve been like to meet him, to meet all of them, before the world tore itself apart.
“But if we did,” he continues, his eyes searching yours, “we wouldn’t have met each other the way we did. And I don’t know how I feel about that. I know I shouldn’t be happy that this is our reality. That everything’s gone to shit. But at the same time…” He trails off, a quiet, breathless laugh escaping him. “I’m so fucking happy you’re here. With us. With me.”
Your expression softens, your eyes glistening in the dim light. “Me too,” you whisper. And for a moment, the weight of the world fades away, leaving only the two of you tangled together in the fragile glow of something like hope.
“Gosh, not to break your bubble but some of us have been hauling dead bodies the entire day. Go to sleep.” Ni-ki’s voice cuts through the quiet, his tone laced with mock irritation as it echoes from the other side of the store.
You can’t help but let out a laugh, the sound coming out cracked and uneven but genuine all the same. Jungwon’s lips twitch into a smirk, the corners of his eyes crinkling with amusement.
“Sorry, Ni-ki. We’ll keep our heartfelt declarations to a minimum,” Jungwon calls back, his voice lighter than it’s been in days.
“Please do,” Ni-ki grumbles. “Some of us actually need sleep to function. Unlike you two, who apparently run on emotional angst and melodrama.”
You snort, burying your face against Jungwon’s shoulder to muffle the sound. “He’s got a point.”
“Yeah, well. He can complain all he wants.” Jungwon’s arm tightens around you, pulling you closer. “I’m not letting you out of my sight.”
Ni-ki mutters something about “disgusting couples” under his breath, but you can hear the smile in his voice. And as you drift off to sleep, cocooned in Jungwon’s warmth, you swear you catch the faintest hint of Ni-ki’s laughter from across the room.
The days blur together, bleeding into weeks. The aftermath of the battle is a bitter memory, but the world doesn’t stop for grief or guilt. It moves on, drags you with it, demanding blood and sweat and whatever scraps of hope you can muster. 
The camp becomes something of a sanctuary, though the scars of what happened are still fresh. But with each passing sunrise, life finds a way to grow amid the ashes. It’s not perfect. Far from it. But it’s something. It’s yours.
Heeseung and Sunghoon have turned the gas station’s old garage into a makeshift workshop, fabricating weapons, fixing broken tools, and finding ways to reinforce the perimeter.
Ni-ki spends most of his time tinkering with the generator they managed to find, his hands stained with grease and dirt, his eyes constantly scanning the area for new materials to scavenge. He’s been working on fixing the lights inside the convenience store—solar-powered lamps that offer a faint, flickering glow through the darkest hours of the night.
Meanwhile, Sunoo has somehow managed to coax the earth into giving life. He and Jay have cultivated a small patch of vegetables in the cleared lot behind the station, green shoots from seeds they found in the backroom poke defiantly through the cracked soil. The produce is meagre, but it’s something. Something they’ve managed to grow from nothing. And if you’re being honest, it’s a refreshing change from the endless supply of canned food you’ve all grown so sick of.
Jake, on the other hand, is tirelessly working to set up a small infirmary in the backrooms of the convenience store. It’s a crude setup—scraps of old bed sheets strung up to create partitions, tables pushed together and covered with whatever clean material he can find. It’s not much. But it’s something. And Jake has never been one to settle for nothing. 
You caught him once, hunched over the counter, scribbling notes in the margins of a medical textbook he managed to scavenge. He’s been trying to teach himself more advanced medical techniques—how to stitch deeper wounds, how to recognise infections before they become life-threatening, how to keep fevers from turning fatal. It’s admirable, if not a little reckless. But then, you suppose recklessness is a trait all of you share now.
You’re still healing, both physically and emotionally. Your stump is scarred and sore, but Jake assures you it’s healing well. You find yourself contributing in small ways, like offering the others water when they forget to hydrate themselves or helping to brainstorm plans and routes on their next expedition, all while still learning how to adapt to the limitations of your new body. And while it’s agonisingly slow, it’s progress.
And then there’s Jungwon.
Jungwon stays by your side most days, helping you adjust, never straying too far even when the others urge him to rest. He’s different now—quieter, his gaze haunted but still fierce. He’s more cautious, more deliberate. But there’s something else, too. A softness to him that wasn’t there before. Or maybe it was, and you just hadn’t seen it.
Most times, you find yourselves back on the rooftop. The place has become your refuge—an escape where the world’s chaos fades into a distant hum and it’s just the two of you, wrapped in the quiet of the night, the stars above like scattered fragments of a world that’s long since crumbled. It’s where you go when everything just feels too much, when the faces of the dead won’t leave you alone, when you need to feel like something still matters.
He’ll hold your hand and whisper reassurances you both desperately need to believe. And you’ll share stories—small, inconsequential details about your lives before everything fell apart. It feels like you can almost pretend the world is still intact. That the only thing that exists is you and Jungwon, just existing in the same space, breathing the same air. sharing the same silence, and reclaiming pieces of yourself you thought you’d lost forever. 
You remember a conversation you had with Jungwon a few days after you woke up. It was one of those nights on the rooftop, where the air was cool and crisp, the stars sharp and clear against the darkness.
It had been a conversation you wouldn’t forget, not because of what was said but because of what it meant.
“You never told me how you managed to lead the horde away,” you say, your voice quiet, almost drowned out by the gentle rustle of the breeze.
Jungwon’s gaze flickers towards you, the faintest hint of a smile playing at his lips. But it’s not a happy smile. It’s something else—something strained and distant, like he’s trying to find the right words to explain the inexplicable.
“I don’t even remember half of it…” he admits, his voice thick, roughened by exhaustion he hasn’t yet shaken off. “I was just… making a whole lot of noise to lure them out. Screaming, banging on metal, anything to get their attention.” His fingers trace absent patterns along the rooftop surface, his eyes never quite meeting yours. “Then I just started walking… for two days straight I was just walking back towards the city.”
Your breath catches. You’ve heard fragments of what he did from the others, but hearing it from him—hearing the quiet resignation in his voice—it twists something deep within you.
“It started raining somewhere in the middle,” he continues, his tone growing distant, like he’s reliving it all over again. “I was cold, exhausted, fuck, I almost collapsed right there and then. My legs were giving out, my head was spinning… but I knew if I did, if I fell, I wouldn’t be able to come back to you. So I sucked it up.”
You’re staring at him now, eyes wide, the air suddenly feeling too thick, too sharp. The thought of him out there alone, fighting against the world itself just to keep you safe—it’s almost too much to bear.
“The horde was just mindlessly walking behind me,” Jungwon continues, his voice tightening. “Occasionally something else would catch their attention and I had to shoot a few bullets to get it back. That was risky… drawing attention like that. But it worked. They kept following me.”
He pauses, the weight of his own words pressing down on him like a lead blanket. “Eventually, I passed by the village. Remember the two people we left behind?”
You nod, a cold dread settling in your stomach. You remember the desperation in their voices, the hollow looks in their eyes as they pleaded with you to stay. And you remember leaving them behind anyway.
“They were there,” Jungwon says, voice hollow. “One of them had half their face chewed out and the other… the other had their guts hanging out of their body. They were just… walking. No purpose. No sense of anything. Just… dead.”
The silence that follows is brutal. You don’t realise you’ve stopped breathing until your lungs start to burn.
“I eventually reached the city,” Jungwon continues, his voice dropping to a near-whisper. “I hid out in a random store. Waited for it to clear out a little before I started making my way back.”
“Jungwon…” Your voice trembles, your chest tightening with something that feels too close to grief. “I’m so sorry…”
“Why are you apologising?” Jungwon’s eyes finally find yours, a flicker of frustration mingling with something softer. “You didn’t make me do it. I chose to do it. And you know what? When I passed by the village again, I noticed a small patch of wildflowers growing at the side of the curb.”
His lips twitch into a small, self-deprecating smile, and his laugh is more air than sound. “Stupid me thought it was a sign that you’d woken up, so I started running back. Like a maniac. I tripped over some broken glass, nearly twisted my ankle, but I just kept going.”
He’s laughing, but the sound is hollow, edged with a madness born from desperation. You stare at him, your own chest tightening with something raw and painful, wondering how he could find humour in something so devastating. “How are you laughing like you didn’t almost die?”
Jungwon shrugs, the motion careless but his eyes—his eyes are anything but. “Trust me, after experiencing your near death… everything is laughable.”
It had taken you a moment to realise what he meant. That the thought of losing you had been so unbearable, so incomprehensibly horrifying, that everything else paled in comparison. That even his own suffering had become insignificant when measured against the possibility of losing you.
You remember how you had reached for him then, your hand finding his, fingers intertwining like they belonged there. How he had squeezed your hand so tightly it almost hurt, like he was afraid you’d disappear if he let go.
The two of you had sat there in silence, the cool night air brushing against your skin. And for that moment, it didn’t matter that the world was rotting. It didn’t matter that you were both scarred and afraid and haunted by ghosts you couldn’t outrun.
All that mattered was that you were still there. Still breathing. Still fighting.
You’ve both changed, that much is clear. But you’re trying to grow from it, not let the darkness consume you. Jungwon has his own demons to battle. The rage he harbours against A’s people is still there, burning beneath the surface. But it’s not consuming him anymore. Not entirely. He’s found something else to fight for. Something more important than revenge.
There’s a careful balance now, one of acceptance and compromise. You still argue, still struggle against the stubbornness that pulls you apart like opposing forces. There are days when he snaps, frustration boiling over when things don’t go as planned. And there are days when you retreat into yourself, overwhelmed by the reality of your own limitations. But you talk. You let yourselves be honest, raw. And somehow, it makes all the difference.
You think about the garden often. It’s a quiet thought, one that creeps into your mind during the silences between breaths, when the world feels steady and the nightmares are held at bay. You still remember the metaphor you conjured for him—wildflowers breaking through cracks, roots winding their way through stone, claiming life where there shouldn’t be any.
But now, you realise it’s not just about him. It’s about all of you.
It’s in the way Sunoo coax life from the soil. It’s in Jake’s quiet determination as he scours books. It’s in Ni-ki’s resourcefulness as he scavenges supplies, building something from nothing. It’s in Sunghoon and Heeseung’s tireless efforts to keep everyone safe, their strength unyielding even when exhaustion clings to their bones.
It’s in Jay’s stubbornness, his dedication to protecting what’s left of this fractured family, even when his own doubts threaten to swallow him whole.
And it’s in Jungwon. The boy whose name means ‘garden’. The boy who, despite the darkness pressing in from every side, still reaches for the light. Still fights to grow, to thrive, to protect the things he’s come to care about.
You think of all the times you tried to pull away, tried to distance yourself from the tangled web of connections that’s formed between you all. You think of the nights you spent on the rooftop with Jungwon, trading secrets and fears like offerings, daring to believe that maybe you weren’t as alone as you thought.
The truth is, you’ve taken root here. Somehow, against all logic and reason, you’ve let yourself be part of something. You’ve let yourself care. And as much as you’ve tried to convince yourself otherwise, you can’t keep running from that.
Because gardens aren’t meant to be contained. They’re meant to grow wild and untamed, to spread and intertwine and thrive in the most unexpected places. And maybe—just maybe—that’s what this is.
A wild, tangled, beautiful mess of people who’ve found each other in a world that’s done everything to tear them apart.
Now, you climb up the ladder with more ease, having slowly adapted to the awkwardness of using only one arm. The process is far from graceful, but you manage.
And when you reach the top, Jungwon is already there, his back resting against the convenience store sign, arms draped over his knees as he watches the fractured skyline. He looks tired, eyes bruised with exhaustion but softened by a look that borders on longing.
He glances over his shoulder at the sound of your approach, and some of that tension melts away. He offers you a small smile, the kind that feels just a little too tight around the edges.
The air is cool and crisp, autumn bleeding into winter, and you feel the cold bite at your skin. You draw in a breath, feeling the chill of the air scrape against your lungs. But the moment you settle beside him, his hand slides into yours, pulling you into his warmth without hesitation. 
You lean into him, letting yourself soak in the quiet. “Heard you had an appointment with Jake today,” Jungwon says eventually, his voice low and careful. “What did he say about your arm?”
You glance down at the stump of your arm, the place where flesh used to be. “He says it’s healing well. But I guess my body’s still adjusting.” You lift your arm—what’s left of it—and shrug as if it’s not a big deal. As if it’s not still tearing you apart from the inside out.
Jungwon’s gaze lingers on your arm for a moment, but he doesn’t flinch or avert his eyes like the others sometimes do. He meets it head-on, his acceptance so genuine it almost hurts. “Does it hurt?”
“Not really. Not anymore,” you answer, though it feels like a lie. It’s not pain in the conventional sense. “It just… feels weird. Like it’s still there sometimes. Like I can still move my fingers if I try hard enough.”
“Phantom pain,” he murmurs, the words sounding heavy on his tongue. “Jake mentioned something about that. How your brain’s still trying to make sense of what’s gone.”
“Yeah.” Your throat tightens, a lump forming that you can’t seem to swallow down. “I guess it’s like trying to walk when your legs are asleep. The more you try, the more it hurts.” The admission is raw, but Jungwon doesn’t shy away from it. Instead, he shifts closer, his warmth seeping into your bones.
He watches you, eyes searching, waiting for something you’re not sure you can give. And you hate how perceptive he is, how easily he sees through the cracks you try so hard to hide.
“I’ve been thinking,” he starts, his gaze fixed on the jagged silhouette of the city as if the answers lie somewhere beyond the darkness. “About all of this. About us. About… you.”
Your eyes flicker toward him, curious but patient. A silence falls between you, one that feels too heavy to break. And then he speaks again, this time he’s looking at you when he does. “You’ve been different since it happened.”
“What do you mean?”
“Not in a bad way,” he says quickly, his voice stumbling over itself. “You’re just… you’re quieter. You’re more careful. It’s like you’re always holding something back.”
You want to deny it, to tell him he’s wrong. But you can’t. Because he’s right. You’ve become cautious, restrained, afraid of repeating the mistakes that nearly cost you everything.
“Maybe I am,” you admit, the words barely above a whisper. “I think… I think it’s because I realised how close I came to losing everything. And not just my life. But all of you.”
“Everything feels so fragile,” you continue, your voice wavering. “Like it could all fall apart any second. And I keep waiting for something to go wrong. For someone to get hurt again. For me to lose you.” The confession spills out before you can swallow it back, your voice cracking under the weight of the fear that’s been festering inside you.
Jungwon shifts closer, his arm coming around your shoulders, pulling you into him. The warmth of his body seeps into yours, his fingers tracing gentle circles along your upper arm. “You’re not going to lose me,” he says, his voice steady and fierce. “Not now. Not ever. I won’t let that happen.”
“But you can’t promise that.” Your words tremble, tears burning the corners of your eyes. “None of us can.”
He hesitates, his expression clouded, the weight of his own words pressing against him. “No, we can’t.” His admission is soft, broken. “But we can fight for it. We can make it count. And we can do it together.”
“Together.” The word feels heavy on your tongue. You want to believe him, want to cling to the conviction in his voice. But his certainty only makes your own doubts grow louder.
Because the truth is, you’re terrified. Terrified that this second chance is nothing more than a cruel joke. That you’ll fail them again. That you’ll get someone killed. That you’ll keep making reckless decisions because you’re too stubborn to admit you can’t do this alone.
He’s quiet for a moment, his eyes never leaving yours. The silence stretches between you, thick and heavy, but not uncomfortable. Just… real. Then, slowly, he reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingertips lingering against your skin, warm and steady. His thumb brushes over your cheek, tracing small, soothing circles that send a shiver down your spine.
“Y/N. You didn’t lose us. You’re still here. And it's because you fought for this, the same way you’ll continue fighting for this. Am I wrong to say that?” His voice is low, soft, but there’s a strength beneath it—a quiet conviction that refuses to break. His eyes bore into yours, searching, as if daring you to deny what he’s saying. As if his words alone could anchor you to this moment, to this fragile hope you’re both trying so hard to keep alive.
But it’s more than just words. It’s the way his touch grounds you, the way he holds you like you’re something precious, something worth fighting for. It’s not just reassurance he’s offering—it’s belief. A belief so strong it feels like it could shatter all the doubts you’ve been harbouring since you woke up, feverish and broken and terrified you’d never be yourself again.
And you realise, with a clarity that cuts through the doubt like a blade, that he’s right.
You’re still here. Bruised and battered and so damn tired, but you’re here.
The night stretches on, the air thick with the scent of soil and metal, the quiet hum of insects, the distant creak of the watchtower Ni-ki and Heeseung built not long ago swaying in the breeze. You lean against Jungwon, your head resting on his shoulder, your hand curled around his. It’s not perfect. It’s not easy. But it’s something. And maybe that’s enough.
And then, when the silence feels like it’s about to swallow you whole, he starts to sing.
His voice is soft, hesitant at first, but it grows stronger with each note, weaving through the air like a thread of gold. You close your eyes and listen, the melody sinking into your bones, soothing the ache of old wounds and new fears alike. 
You recognise the song. It’s the same one he sang to you when you thought you might never wake up. The same one that carried you through the darkness and back to him.
Just close your eyes The sun is going down You'll be alright No one can hurt you now Come morning light You and I'll be safe and sound
The song ends, but the warmth of his voice lingers. And as you sit there, tangled up in each other, you realise that the fear hasn’t gone away. It never will. But it’s quieter now. Bearable. Something you can live with.
You’re reminded again how both of you are not just trying to survive, but you’re learning how to live. And for the first time, you let yourself feel the weight of it. The love. The fear. The hope. And you know—whether you deserve it or not—you can’t push them away. Not anymore.
The rest of the night passes in silence, leaving you alone with a thought that plagues your mind: Is it weird to say you met your soulmate in the middle of a zombie apocalypse? 
Maybe it is. And if so, then you’re weird. To find people you care about in the same way they care about you feels like a miracle in a world where kindness is punished and compassion is a weakness. Where caring too much can get you killed.
But you found them. Against all odds, you found them. And somehow, that feels more surreal than the dead walking the earth. Because, really, what are the chances? That you’d stumble upon people willing to risk everything for you? People who’ve seen you at your lowest, your most broken, and still choose to stay?
What are the chances that, even in a world this cruel and unforgiving, you’d find someone who holds your hand like you’re still whole? Someone who looks at you like you’re something precious, something worth protecting, worth loving.
The others have joked about it before. How you and Jungwon gravitate toward each other like it’s second nature. How he becomes someone else entirely when it comes to you. And maybe there’s some truth to it. Because when he looks at you, it’s not just with fondness or admiration. It’s with something deeper, something that grounds you even when everything else is falling apart.
The world outside is a nightmare, a constant fight for survival. And yet, somehow, you’ve found your place. Not just in the camp you’ve built, but in the blooming garden of the boy who holds you like you’re his reason to keep fighting. Like you’re his reason to hope.
So, maybe it is weird. Maybe it’s insane to believe in love in a world like this. But as you sit beside Jungwon on the rooftop, his arm draped over your shoulders, his fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns along your skin, you realise you don’t care how absurd it sounds.
You found your soulmate in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.
And it’s in that moment, with his arms wrapped around you, his heartbeat thundering against your own, that you truly understand what it means to be alive. To feel everything—joy, pain, love, fear, hope—so intensely that it leaves you breathless.
You’re alive. And so is he. And somehow, against all odds, you’re here. Together.
You fall asleep on the rooftop that night, your head resting against Jungwon’s shoulder, his arm wrapped around you. The stars blaze above, indifferent and eternal, but for the first time in a long, long time—
You feel safe. You feel sound.
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part 6 - dusk | masterlist
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notes from nat: omg... i actually did it. i actually finished this. 124k words. I've peaked. I'm never recovering from this series, actually. first of all, thank you so much to every single one of you who've supported me and this series. i know the wait in between parts were lowkey incriminating, and yet all of you were still so kind and patient. I'm not an author who knows how to fully engage her audience interaction-wise and I truly appreciate all of you for approaching me and engaging with my blog. the amount of mutuals and lovely people I came to know through this series is actually insane. so thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I'll talk more about my feelings and thoughts writing this series in a separate post, but for now this is where I officially close out safe & sound. this is definitely not the last time you will hear from me but until then, please stay safe & healthy!
perm taglist. @m1kkso @hajimelvr @s00buwu @urmomssneakylink @grayscorner @catlicense @bubblytaetae @mrchweeee @artstaeh @sleeping-demons @yuviqik @junsflow @blurryriki @bobabunhee @hueningcry @fakeuwus @enhaslxt @neocockthotology @Starryhani @aishisgrey @katarinamae @mitmit01 @youcancometome @cupiddolle @classicroyalty @dearsjaeyun @ikeucakeu @sammie217 @m1kkso @tinycatharsis @parkjjongswifey @dcllsinna @no1likeneo @ChVcon3 @karasusrealwife @addictedtohobi @jyunsim @enhastolemyheart @kawaiichu32 @layzfy @renjunsbirthmark13 @enhaprettystars @Stercul1a @stars4jo @luvashli @alyselenai @ididntseeurbag @hii-hawaiiu
taglist open. 1/3 @sungbyhoon @theothernads @kyshhhhhh @jiryunn @strxwbloody @jaklvbub @rikikiynikilcykiki @jakesimfromstatefarm @rikiiisoob
non-grey/underlined = cannot tag
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0bunnyia · 1 day ago
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Hi Nia ...congratulations baby ..wishing you even more success and growth ahead - this is just the beginning!
Can u do prompt 3 with Hyunjin please💞
현진 ─── Mission Failed Successfully
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You’ve been dating Hyunjin for a while but haven’t shared your first kiss yet. Wanting it to be perfect, you plan a romantic evening with dinner and a walk by the beach. However, things don’t go as planned, and you start feeling disappointed. Hyunjin tries to comfort you, and the night takes an unexpected turn.
Pair: Hwang Hyunjin x Reader
— OH MY FIRST REQUEST EVER????? thank you so much for your sweet words lovely🫶🏻🫶🏻 I wrote this for a while and hope you like it HSHSHS!! (⁠♡⁠ω⁠♡⁠ ⁠)⁠ ⁠~⁠♪
nia’s 10 followers event (send me a number pleaseee t___t)
⚠️ : none. wc: 0,8k
Hyunjin and you had been dating for a while. Taking it slow, you hadn't had your first kiss yet. It had been months and you've been wondering—did he even want to be intimate with you, or were you just being too forward?
So, you decide to take matters into your own hand—turning your first kiss into something straight out of a fairytale. You planned everything perfectly, a dinner by the candle lit, followed by a walk near the beach as the sun began saying it's goodbyes. And then you'd lean in. Perfect, right?
Here you are—everything is perfectly ready. With all of your might, you prepared this on your own, without asking anyone for help. Might as well go all in. You had one plan in mind; making your first kiss absolutely unforgettable—the kind that would make your future kids go awe when they hear the story.
Hyunjin hadn't thought much when you asked him to come over for dinner. He figured it was just another sweet date planned by you—nothing out of the ordinary, just the two of you enjoying each other's company.
He rang the bell, looking straight out of a fashion magazine—roses in hand, and his hair all messy from the wind. "Love! Sorry I'm late, traffic was crazy, and gosh the wind is really strong out here." He said first thing, handling you the roses he was holding.
"Well, your hair does look a bit of a mess, come inside before it all blows over." Holding the flower, you took his hand with your free one. Guiding him to your dinner table, you glance at the window outside. It was windy—you hope it doesn't storm, it will ruin everything if it did.
Dinner was great—super romantic. The candlelight really did help setting up the mood. But you couldn't keep your mind off his lips, stealing glances every chance you got. Gosh, you couldn't wait for dinner to be over so you could take him by the beach and kiss him like he was some sort of prince from a fairytale.
But the sky seemed to have other plans. By the time you both finished finner, it was storming hard outside. Your mood dropped in an instant. It was supposed to be the perfect moment—you planned it all, but it didn't go the way you imagined. The storm showed no sign of stopping anytime soon, and the sun was already saying it's goodbye. The kiss under the sunset... ruined.
You couldn't help but broke down. You had prepared everything with all your heart—and fate decided to ruin it all.
"Love! What happened? Why are you crying?" Hyunjin said, grabbing a tissue and gently wiping your tears. "I'm sorry... did I do something wrong? Please don't cry." He kneeled beside you, clearly worried, still wiping your tears with so much care in his eyes.
"It's not that... we were supposed to spend the end of our dinner by the sunset and have our first kiss—but now it's all ruined! I've been waiting so long for this moment," you said between sobs.
"Wait no no no—don't cry! It's not ruined yet. See? Isn't this also romantic? Just you and me by the candle light!!" — "well yeah! In the middle of a storm." It came off harsher than you planned it to be, but you were just too upset by now—the storm showed no sign of stopping soon, making fun of your plead.
"I was working my butt off preparing this and—" he cut off your rambling by leaning in, shutting off whatever you were about to say.
His lips pressed softly against yours, gentle at first—like he was afraid to break you. The world around you blurred, the storm outside, the flicker of candlelight—everything faded except for him. There was warmth in the way he kissed you, like he had been holding back for far too long. It wasn’t rushed, or messy. It was perfect in its own quiet way—like time had slowed down just for the two of you.
Gosh, it felt magical—the feeling of his lips in yours. Hyunjin smelled like a pile of fresh roses. After a few seconds, he pulled back slightly to catch his breath. Observing your teary ones and swollen lips. Without a word, Hyunjin collapsed into your shoulder.
"Oh wow, you taste amazing. I've been waiting for this ever since our first date. You wouldn't believe how long I've been dying to get a taste of you." He said, face still buried on your shoulder.
"But it's not like how I planned it.." — "all I care about is being with you, love." He pecked your cheek and leaned in again, growing addicted to the taste of your lips.
Maybe it's not how you planned it to be, but it was definitely better.
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bonefall · 2 days ago
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I just saw your Holstein hate reply, and wanted to share that my mom hates Holsteins because she grew up with Guernseys and loves cows, and everyone knows she loves cows, so they get her cow themed gifts, and 9 times out of 10 it's a Holstein, and she's has to hold her tongue and not be like "I DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW THEM WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME THEIR PICTURE." Thanks for sharing why everyone else should join her in her ire <3
Me and your mom are connected on a spiritual level. No one understands the ABSOLUTE agony of being a True Cow Fan and having people give you well-meaning cow gifts, and having to hold back The Anti-Holstein AM Speech. Our mortal vessels were not meant to contain this amount of RIGHTEOUS RAGE.
My partner finds this very funny, btw. And they torment me.
They were gifted a large portrait of a holstein at one point just as a kitschy decoration. When they were tidying the house for me to visit, a member of the fam suggested hanging it up because it's A Cow Painting. Partner explained my beef with Holstein cows specifically, how they send me into an infodumpering rage.
Fam found this hilarious.
They hang up the painting in various parts of the house, always changing, so I get Holstein Jumpscared. Bathroom? HOLSTEIN. Hallway? HOLSTEIN. Closet? HOLSTEIN.
I am going to begin displaying American stress behaviors at this rate. I'm gonna throw all their tea in the bathtub and dig oil holes in the garden. Thatll show them.
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archduchessgortash · 16 hours ago
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A few Durge responses... And mine.
[Raphael is never alive in the post-game of BG3 for my characters]
Praxas (pre-tadpole): I've already met my murder quota for the night, thank you very much. Go fuck yourself.
Praxas (in-game): Persistent jackass, I'm NOT giving you the crown. Go fuck yourself.
Praxas (post-game): You're not Raphael; I watched his dad eat him. I am sorry I killed your mommy doppelganger. In my defense, she killed me first. Still not letting you in. If you wake up my wife, I will feed you to gnolls. Please, for the love of every god except my shitface father, go fuck yourself.
Tyrsa (all timelines): It's the middle of the bloody night, but... come on in! Would you like a drink?
[Pours him a glass of white wine that's actually holy water, unless it's the post-game, in which case it's actually a sleeping potion. When he drinks the holy water and it burns, Tyrsa laughs maniacally and then whistles a tune to Banish him back to Avernus. When an imposter drinks the potion, they wake up tied to a chair for interrogation.]
Gortash: [Scratching his hairy stomach in boxers and an open robe, alone in the pre-game, with Astarion's arm around him in Act 3 and the post-game] The protection runes are only effective if you don't invite them in, dear. You know this.
Tyrsa: [Shrugs] So? This is funnier.
Astarion: [Mid-game/post-game] She's got you there, Mister Smarty-Not-Wearing-Pants.
Warlock Durge, pre-tadpole: Argh! No. Just... no. What is this... the seven hundredth time I've told you?! I'm NOT giving your pet incubus my form!
Warlock Durge, in-game: [Pretends she isn't home until he leaves, grumbling] How many times can one cambion be told to fuck off before he just gives up? He is obsessed.
Warlock Durge, post-game: [To Gale in bed next to her] I know you're not a fan of necromancy, but I am sending a flying ghoul out there to take out the trash.
Gale: [Groggy] Hmm... yes, of course, my love... [Startled] A ghoul?! I took out the trash earlier. Oh, you mean... [Looking at the Ring cam] You made Raphael into a ghoul?! Forcing him to stand paralyzed as Yurgir pummeled him to death wasn't bad enough? You really didn't like him, did you? Nice suit, though.
Warlock Durge: [Scolding] You know full well cambions can't be made into undead, Magicman. And I told you he gave me the creeps. Him and that Gortash guy both looked at me like they were constantly picturing me naked...
Me: Who's dead? My kid has school in the morning. Someone had better be dead. I'm not buying into your Ponzi scheme or your religion, so get OFF my stoop! If you think of returning, consider this: I own a sword, and I am a mother; I am not afraid of blood and guts or the fact that you may shit yourself when I end you. Go ahead and call the police, buddy. I live in a red state, and you're on my property. Your life is forfeit.
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You spot Raphael on your Ring camera at 3am, wyd?
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caoimhewrites · 3 days ago
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Hallllo! I LOVE your missing series and was wondering if you could do a part three where tf141 + König finally find their daughter?
Missing Pt3
I wasn't planning on doing a part 3 for my Missing drabbles but you've motivated me to actually get around to doing it. Thanks for the request! I'm glad you're enjoying it!
Pt1, Pt2
CW: mentions of kidnapping, canon typical violence (kinda), cute father/daughter reunions WC: 1.1k
A/N- I put the translations for König's section at the bottom of the post
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Ghost stalked through the halls silently, sticking to the shadows. He feels like he's checked every inch of this stupid base looking for you, but still... nothing. A muffled cry makes him freeze in his tracks, heart in his throat. He pivoted, eyes narrowing as he followed the sound like a bloodhound. Down a flight of metal stairs, to a reinforced door. You're on the other side. He knows it. His boot slams into the door repeatedly, sending it flying off its hinges on the fifth hit. Your head snapped up at the sound, wild-eyed. You sat on the floor in the corner, shrinking away from him. Confusion and concern floods his system as he looks down at you for a moment. Oh... you don't recognize him, he realizes. Ghost’s heart cracked. He hadn't expected that. He should have really. He never wears the mask in front of you, too worried he'll frighten you. “It’s okay,” he said quickly, voice low, the gentle tone he always uses only with you. Your eyes flickered. That voice. You stared at the mask. Confused, searching. He throws himself to his knees in front of you, ignoring the sting. Without thinking, he rips the mask off, revealing his face to you. Your lips parted in a shaky gasp. “…Dad?” “Yeah, love. It’s me,” he murmurs as he cuts your bindings, hands trembling. “I’ve got you now.” He wraps his strong arms around you, pulling you into a tight embrace. It's a little too tight but you don't care.
König was a terrifying sight in any normal circumstance, but now? He could make the toughest of men crumble into dust out of pure terror. He's been searching for three weeks to bring you home and he's finally within arms reach. You stared at the towering figure blocking the doorway. Black combat gear and that hood casting shadows over his face. You feel your entire body shake as you stare up at him with eyes so wide you swear they might pop out. The horrified scream you let out breaks his heart. Never once had you reacted like this to him, he doesn't understand it. “Geh weg von mir!" you shriek at the top of your lungs, unable to recognize your father in all his gear and frightening hood. He knelt slowly, setting his rifle aside, palms open in front of him. “Es ist okay,” he said gently, his voice impossibly soft. “Ich werde dir nicht weh tun.” You shook your head, unsure. “Wer... Wer bist du?” He slowly pulls the hood up, careful to not scare you away, the last thing he wants to do is scare you more than he already has. "Papa?" You whisper, almost in disbelief. “Ich dachte-” your voice cracked. “Ich dachte, du kommst nicht” He cups your face in his large hands and pulls you close, “Ich habe nie aufgehört zu suchen,” he whispered into your hair as he pulls you up into his arms, his embrace crushing. “Nicht für eine Sekunde." After a while, he pulled back just enough to look at you. His gloved hand brushed a bit of dirt from your cheek. “Dir ist kalt,” he said softly. “Lass uns dich hier rausbringen”
Price had been searching for three weeks. Twenty-one days of dead ends, sleepless nights, and silence on the other end of the line. He calls you every night even though he knows your phone is sitting in evidence somewhere. Ghost's voice crackles in his ear from his comms but he doesn't listen. He was so close just minutes ago, he SAW them there. He's had to resort to traveling farther into the shipping yard, towards the old rundown building he had seen your captors in through the window. He's crouched behind a large stack of crates when he hears sniffling no more than 30 feet away. It's you. He knows it. He's heard that sniffling more times than he can count, always offering you tea and gentle hugs as comfort. "Love," he whispers as he moves closer to the source of your sniffles. "Love, you over here?" He squints to get a better look through the crates. He sees your eyes peek out at him. "Dad?" Your eyes widen in shock, not expecting to see him in your escape attempt. "It's me, Love. I'm here," He whispers as he pushes the crates aside, taking your hand in his and kissing your forehead. "How- What-" You stammer clumsily, still in shock at seeing him. You had expected to run through the wilderness for a few days, find a phone and call him, but this is much more of a relief.
Gaz was injured. Not terribly but enough to make his search painful and tiring. He had found you in the basement of the enemy's safe house, peeking out at him, eyes watery and wide. The pain in his side didn’t stop him from crossing the room in two quick strides, dropping to his knees in front of you. He gathered you into his arms without hesitation, heart pounding with relief and lingering anxiety. It didn’t stop him from carrying you out, either. Even as adrenaline faded and every muscle in his body protested, he held you tight, kept his pace steady as he made it to the extraction point. He didn’t complain. Didn’t flinch. Not once. The chopper blades whipped cold air around them, slicing through the autumn night. You were still wearing the same clothes from weeks ago. Fine for mid-September, but the October chill bit at your skin cruelly. He even ignored the pain as he bundled you up in his jacket. He rubbed at your arms in an attempt to warm you quicker. “You’re alright now,” he said softly, lips close to your temple so you could hear him over the noise. “I’ve got you. We're going home."
Soap's breath came heavy, boots sinking into sand as he approached the structure. His intel had better be right this time. He's had too many false leads and dead ends. He can't be wrong this time. He kicked the door in with one swift motion. Inside, the heat didn’t let up. His eyes swept the dim interior, rifle up and ready. Then he hears it. A whimper, soft and muffled. Soap’s heart jumped and stuttered in his chest. He whipped his head around, his eyes finding yours as you hid behind a few boxes. "Dad? You... You're here." Your voice cracked as you spoke. It had been several weeks and you were starting to think he might not be able to find you all the way out here. Your face is dirt smeared and sweaty as he quickly throws himself towards you, wrapping you up in his arms. He kisses your cheek gently, not caring about the grime, "I'm here, Love. I'll always be here." You tighten your arms around him impossibly tighter. He returns the gesture, taking a moment to appreciate it. "Let's get you home, yeah?"
geh weg von mir - get away from me Es ist okay - It's okay Ich werde dir nicht weh tun - I won't hurt you Wer bist du - Who are you Ich dachte, du kommst nicht - I thought you weren't coming Ich habe nie aufgehört zu suchen - I never stopped searching Nicht für eine Sekunde - Not for a second Dir ist kalt - You're cold Lass uns dich hier rausbringen - Lets get you out of here
Taglist: @little-mini-me-world
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foreverromanticising · 22 hours ago
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renegade | ln4
(6) the sun, the sea, and lando were all you thought you needed until you uncover prospects of home?
lando norris x fem!reader | 3k words | a maybe perfect summer with lando norris
(also pls if u want to send any notes about this series (or requests outside of this series) i would LOVE to chat with yous all so pls send anything)
masterlist<3
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You felt lighter every time you woke up in Lando’s bed, you couldn’t help the smile that fought its way onto your face every time you remembered you were still there - he still wanted you there. Sure, you’d had your - albeit brief - moment of panic and had tried to bolt, with the plan of heading to the nearest hostel you could find but Lando had made it incredibly clear he would much rather spend his holiday waking up beside you. 
Truly, you weren’t sure of the last time you had felt relaxation to this degree. Your time travelling helped you find some peace but you had to be on constant alert, especially considering you were on your own pretty much everyday. But with Lando almost glued to your hip, he allowed you to take that deep breath that you needed. You had been travelling, but he was vacationing - his entire goal for his trip was to relax.
Early mornings were a rarity, you were beginning to learn, as late nights sinking more drinks than you could count were how Lando and his friends loved to spend their time. You couldn’t complain, it was how you had met Lando after all. But, after the first week, you learned to truly appreciate an early morning whenever you could grab one.
You slipped out from Lando’s hold that morning and padded your bare feet towards the kitchen with the intention of making some coffee and breakfast to take back up to him. The quiet hum of the coffee machine and the faint chirping of cicadas filled the silence of the kitchen as you sliced various different kinds of fruit onto a platter of sorts.
However, as you had come to learn happened fairly often when living with a handful of men, the quiet within the kitchen was soon disturbed when you heard the bounding of footsteps down the stairs. 
“I think we get the yacht today.”
“Just phone him, Lando, you know he’ll let you.”
“You really should just get your own boat, mate, would make this so much easier for us every year.”
The conversation you were totally not eavesdropping on came to a halt once everyone stepped foot into the kitchen, catching sight of you. Lando made a beeline for you, his eyes catching his shirt that draped over your frame as he pressed a kiss to your temple and whispered a ‘good morning’ so quietly that his friends couldn’t pick up on it.
“I was in the middle of making breakfast, there should be enough for everyone, I think,” You spun around, trying to analyse how much food you had laid out compared to what was in the fridge and cupboards as you hadn’t planned for everyone else to be awake but you didn’t want to exclude anyone either. “Sorry if there’s not, ‘m just not used to everyone being awake this early so I wasn’t thinking.”
“This is more than enough, don’t worry about it,” Then, another kiss pressed to your forehead before Lando skirted around your body, grabbing a strawberry and popping it into his mouth. “Thank you, baby.”
“Focus, Lando, back to the yacht.” Keegan, one of Lando’s friends, clapped his hands together to grab Lando’s attention once again.
“We’re up early enough that we could make it work.” Max chimed in, gaining a nod of agreement from Keegan - who was clearly happy someone was on his side.
“I dunno, there’s a farmers’ market in town today,” Lando caught the way the side of your lips turned up, a hint of a grin teasing him as you couldn’t contain your happiness for a few days ago you had very briefly mentioned a farmers’ market that had piqued your interest. “Thought that could be kinda fun.”
“Yeah ‘cause the Greek farmers want us ploughing through their market,” Keegan rolled his eyes and gestured to the group standing there, knowing they weren’t exactly the target demographic for the market. “Like, the fuck do we know about produce and shit?” 
“It’s more than produce, don’t be a dick,” Lando rolled his eyes at his friend’s ignorance, hoping he would understand that, sure, he didn’t really want to spend his day at a farmers’ market but you did so he was more than happy to take you there. “It’s, like, honey and jams and shit.”
“Just phone Carlos and sort out the yacht, jeez.” Keegan scoffed and made his way to stand beside you, pouring himself a coffee whilst Lando stood facing you and mouthed an ‘I’m sorry’ your way. He was truly sorry for he couldn’t control his friends’ feelings, despite how much he really would like to. 
“Who’s Carlos?” You poured Lando a coffee just the way he liked it, black and over ice, then handed it over to him once he took a seat at the kitchen island. You tried to ignore the brief bickering between Lando and Keegan, trying to push away the feeling that gnawed at you which told you you were the reason for it, and instead focused on the way Lando’s curls were still sleep mussed.
“Just a friend of mine.” Lando shrugged, trying to wave off your question as he really didn’t want to unpack everything in that moment.
“Just a friend who owns a yacht?” You pressed, out of nothing but curiosity and wanting to get to know Lando a little bit better.
“Yeah, only keep him around because it comes in handy during summer,” He teased and you laughed along though he could never truly mean it, not when it came to Carlos. “So, I woke up this morning and you weren’t there, quite the shock.”
“I know, I wanted to bring you breakfast in bed.” You smiled and leaned over the edge of the counter to get nearer to Lando as his hand drifted from his coffee to your face, allowing you to lean into his touch.
“Yeah, don’t do that again,” His hand made its way from cupping your cheek to holding your chin between his finger and thumb, pulling you into his lips for a kiss. “Hate waking up without you there, you take away my favourite part of the day.”
“I’ll remember that for next time.” You nodded and leaned back in to Lando, his early morning kisses quick but warm against you for he knew you didn’t want anything more when his friends were littered around you.
“The yacht, Lando!” Max shouted to break through to both you and Lando, forcing both of you apart with lingering smiles on both of your faces.
“Go get ready, pretty,” Lando stood up from the island in an attempt to shut Max up, his hand finding its way to your ass to give it a light tap in the direction of your bedroom. “I need to make some calls before my friends have heart attacks.”
You headed back into the bedroom and began trying to piece together something to wear from your minuscule collection of clothing. What were you even expected to wear on a yacht? You had realised that you and Lando had come from entirely different worlds rather early on in your time knowing him.
It wasn’t a huge factor between you and Lando, you noticed it but you hardly ever thought about it until moments like this one; a moment when Lando acted like charting a private yacht for the day was the most normal thing for anyone to do on their holiday. So, whilst you usually weren’t one for particularly caring that deeply about your appearance, you suddenly found yourself panicked in a sense. You didn’t want to wear the wrong thing around the wrong people and embarrass Lando.
This was his world, after all, and he was simply letting you orbit around it for a while.
“Looks like a bomb went off in here.” Lando stopped dead in his tracks once he saw the state his bedroom was in with every article of your clothing strewed across the place as you simply looked down on them, trying to mentally configure an image of an outfit in your head.
“What am I supposed to wear?” You hummed in what could only be described as a feeling defeated as Lando came to stand behind you, his arms snaking their way around your waist as chin came to rest on your shoulder.
“What’d you mean?” He could tell your mood was certainly deflated however he couldn’t pinpoint why - he couldn’t understand the small fluster you had worked yourself into over an outfit. He wasn’t sure he had ever put this much thought into an outfit before, especially not when he was on holiday.
“I’ve never been on a yacht, I don’t wanna look stupid.” You knew it was silly and you knew Lando thought so too from the way he scoffed at your words.
“You couldn’t ever look stupid, no matter what you wear.” His lips attached to your neck, beginning an assault along your skin in a futile attempt at making you feel better, at easing any anxieties you may have had. Truly, Lando couldn’t have cared less about what you wore and he wasn’t sure anyone else who would be there would care either. 
You sighed at the lack of any advice from Lando, though you weren’t sure what you had been expecting anyway. It wasn’t the outfit itself that was bugging you, rather the thought of feeling out of place among Lando’s friends whilst they were all in their element.
“Wear the red bikini, baby, it’s only casual” Lando stepped away from you and grabbed the red bikini he adored so dearly before handing it to you; a smirk took over his face, one that was often found whenever that bikini covered your body. “I know Carlos’ll like it too, trust me.” 
With a kiss to your cheek and what you thought were words of advice, you trusted Lando and wore the bikini he recommended, tugging on some denim shorts and one of Lando’s graphic tees atop of it. But, what you should’ve known was that you should never trust Lando on fashion advice, not under any circumstance - no matter how quickly he turns you to melted butter underneath his touch, he has no idea what he was talking about - for as soon as you stepped one foot onto the yacht, you realised how sorely mistaken you were for ever confiding in him.
Your definition of casual was running Tesco in your pyjamas with your friends for last minute groceries or a cheap bottle of wine, whereas Lando’s definition of casual was a packed yacht party. There were people everywhere, champagne glasses floating between everyone, whilst waiters passed around the tiniest dishes of food you had ever seen. For a moment, you felt like turning on your heel and trekking on foot back to the villa if it wasn’t for Lando’s hand latching onto yours and leading you through the crowd. 
Every girl you looked at was in a sundress of some sort whilst you mentally cursed yourself for actively choosing to dress like a toddler of sorts, choosing comfort over style when you knew that you had a sundress or two stuffed down the bottom of your backpack. You should’ve known this was going to be anything but relaxed and normal, because nothing Lando had showed you thus far had been anywhere near what you knew as normal but you bit your tongue and smiled whilst Lando paraded you around his friends.
“Carlos,” Carlos smiled with a glint in his eye as he held out his hand to you, you weren’t sure why he looked so pleased - you were only introducing yourself to one another. “Heard a lot about you from that one, mija.”
“Oh?” Your head spun around to Lando, who immediately spun around to speak to another one of his friends - Charles, who you only managed to speak a few words to. “Good things I hope?” The idea that Lando was speaking about you to his friends who hadn’t yet met you made your stomach turn; Carlos would already have a perception of you in his mind that you had no control over and you could only hope it was a positive one, an image that you would be proud of.
“Hm, he speaks very highly of you, that is for sure,” Carlos nodded his head as he watched the cogs of anxiety turn in your mind. “You have a lot of goals, very ambitious - headstrong.”
“I mean, I guess so,” You shrugged your shoulders, not sure that you would describe yourself in the same way but perhaps you couldn’t see these traits for looking directly at them. Though, you couldn’t deny the flutter in your stomach at hearing this was how Lando spoke of you even when you weren’t there. “I just want to travel, see the world, not much more than anyone else.”
“You worked hard to get here, don’t forget that.” Carlos quickly zipped his mouth, taking a sip of champagne to do so, as Lando soon reappeared and wrapped his arm around your waist.
“You wanna take a swim?” Whilst you may have been dressed like a toddler, Lando was always one to act more similarly to one. He didn’t have much interest in the party around him, too many snobs who all thought they knew him, but he did have interest in you. You knew him. “The water’s so clear, I know you want to.”
“Oh, I dunno,” You winced at the thought of creating a splash among the rather peaceful party that surrounded you both, not wanting to dare step a toe out of line in a world that certain wasn’t yours. “I don’t think I wanna get my hair wet.” 
“I’ve got one of your hair ties.” He quickly slipped one of your hair ties off of his wrist and handed it to you, unbeknownst to you that he even had it in the first place.
“Maybe later, Lan.” 
You couldn’t lie to yourself and say your heart didn’t swell when he offered you a hair tie, the mere thought of him simply considering you was enough to make you swoon because he knew you. He knew how much you admired a clear sea, a sea so clear you could watch the fish swim beneath you without needing any goggles, and he simultaneously knew that you liked to tie your hair back when you were in the sea - hating how the salt water affected your hair, though he claimed he loved it. 
You were taken out of your own head when Charles and his girlfriend - Alexandra - began walking over to you, instinctively you backed yourself into Lando’s touch - hoping he could protect you. You weren’t sure what you needed protecting from, maybe your own fears simply manifesting into existence as Charles’ girlfriend was dressed to the nines, glitter and gems accenting her beauty whilst you were still conscious of the fact you were dressed like a toddler in the summer. 
“Jolie fille, you are just as gorgeous as Lando said.” Alexandra smiled brightly in front of you, her words relaxing you.
“Ah, Alex, you’re out to embarrass me.” Lando tutted at her words though he didn’t deny them.
“Someone has to tell her, I’m sure you haven’t done it enough,” Alexandra then grabbed your hands, pulling you away from Lando. “Let me steal her away for a moment or two, would you, Lando?”
Lando simply rolled his eyes and let you be led away by Alexandra, purely because you were no longer in his reach - he hadn’t quite thought about the conversations that would ensue between both of you.
“So, Lando’s been treating you nicely?” She sat down in one of the daybeds and invited you to join her, two glasses of champagne in each of her hands for both of you.
“Yeah, he’s been nothing but a dream - this whole trip has been a dream.”
“It’s a nice life, letting them whisk you away, treat you like a princess,” Alexandra hummed in agreement at your words as she took a sip of her drink. “It’s even better in Monaco, more homely, domestic.”
“Monaco?” You questioned, not entirely sure what she meant by that. You were unsure if you had missed out on a conversation or if she was speaking about something you simply hadn’t heard before.
“Monaco? Y’know, when we all go home, and summer break’s over?” She furrowed her brows in confusion, a look covering her face that matched lost look on yours. “Are you- sorry, are you not going back to Monaco with Lando next week? I’m so sorry, I had no idea.”
“No, it’s okay - I don’t really know what’s happening next week, we haven’t really spoken about it,” You let out a nervous laugh, not sure of what to say as you hadn’t paid much thought to what would happen when Lando’s trip was over, your travelling was a mere extension of his holiday. “I don’t know anything about Monaco either, are they heading there after Greece?”
“Well, yes, before they all have to go back to work - they like to get at least a few days back home.” 
“Home?” Again, you were unable to hide the confusion that warped your face, now feeling more lost than ever.
“Yes, they’ll take a jet back to Monaco for a few more days of relaxation.”
“I thought Lando lived back in the UK,” Truthfully, Lando hadn’t ever told you where he resided outside of his villa during the summer but you had merely presumed due to his British accent. The look of shock on Alexandra’s face scared you ever so slightly but you chose to push that worrying feeling away. “I guess that’s on me, we haven’t really spoken about it.”
“Just know, I would love if you came with us - it’s always nice to have a few more girls around when things get busy for them.” Alexandra flashed you that sweet smile of hers yet again, squeezing your hand so you knew how heartfelt her words were whilst you tried to decipher what exactly she meant - though you figured a yacht party wasn’t exactly the right place to unpack those feelings of confusion.
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