#//sorry dude you're not evil enough for her

[troublcmakcrs]

//mr & mrs tweak are my favorite sicko4sicko ship

[jenosbigtoe]

okay so I've been thinking...

you're dating nomin and jeno was fucking you while jaemin was getting groceries. jeno though it would be a good idea if you would call jaemin to see if he could notice.

(IDK WHY BUT SOME KIND OF IDEA LIKE TJAT HAS BEEN IN MY HEAD FOR FOREVER😫)

mdni. nsfw 18+

pairing: lee jeno x reader x na jaemin

warnings: poly nomin, phone sex (kinda), unprotected sex, daddy kink

a/n: when i tell you when this came in my inbox 😵 i almost passed away

“stop fucking moving.”

jeno hisses into your ear as his hips drill into yours from the back relentlessly. he has you trapped underneath him, his thick arms locking you into place to keep you from squirming out of his grip. your throat is almost raw from the moans spilling out of your mouth with every thrust of his cock. as he continues to pound your abused cunt, you arch your back and push your ass back to meet his thrusts.

“fuck- daddy go faster,” you whine.

the feeling of every ridge and every vein on his thick cock rubbing against your gummy walls and his heavy balls slapping against your clit with every thrust left your legs shaking and core tingling with intense euphoria. you don’t even hear the phone ring and vibrate on the nightstand until jeno holds the phone’s blaring ringtone right next to your ear.

“answer it,” he rasps.

your mind is numb with pleasure and you can barely register what is going on. “w-what?” you gasp out.

he doesn’t relent his thrusts, continuing to pound your pussy like he was trying to break you in half. “i said answer the phone.”

he gives a particularly sharp thrust to your cunt, reaching his cock deep into your walls and kissing your womb. a shock wave shoots up your body, causing you to scream out in pleasure. before you can even give a reply, he’s always swiping the answer button.

“hey dude,” he answers. but he doesn’t stop fucking you, still thrusting his cock in and out of your poor little cunt in a steady rhythm. “yeah she’s right here. wanna talk to her?”

you panic, shaking your head no no no but he puts on the phone on speaker and places it next to you anyways.

“hi baby” a familiar voice calls out from the other side of the screen.

you want to freak out. “daddy, please,” you whimper quietly. you turn around to face your boyfriend from behind you with a desperate look on your face.

but he’s already grinning back at you with an evil look on his face as he places the phone next to your face. he continues to thrust his hips into yours, tightening his grip on your body to keep you from even thinking about getting away. he mouths to you, it’s just jaemin, baby. you can talk to him. he’s your boyfriend too.

“hello? baby are you there?”

your mind is a mess and you can hardly think straight enough to decide what to do next. “y-yes? why d-did you call, jaem? did you need something?”

“well i called because i’m at the grocery store. i know i ate the last of your favorite oreos and i promised to buy you more but they’re out of the kind you like. which flavor should i get instead? they have birthday cake, java chip, mint, ooooh snickerdoodle that sounds good, um-“

jeno’s hand snakes down to your throbbing core, rubbing your clit as he fucks your hole. you bite your lip and try to breathe through your nose, holding back moans threatening to spill out into the phone.

“fuck, that’s fine th-that’s fine!” you cut him off. you pussy clenches around jeno’s length, squeezing him as punishment for putting you in this position. the combination of his hand on your clit and his cock in your pussy is driving you crazy, sending waves of pleasure from your core to every nerve in your body.

you can hear the confusion in his voice at your outburst. “um, baby, i said I’m sorry for eating them. i mean-“

jeno’s hips deliver a particular sharp thrust straight into your cunt, completely bottoming out and reaching even deeper than before. you yelp, caught off guard and unable to hold back.

“j-jaemin just get whatever! i don’t c-care, fuck,” you try to steady your breathing but with jeno’s cock pumping in and out of you and bringing you closer to your climax, you can hardly even think straight.

between jeno’s thrusts and his work on your clit, your orgasm crashes over your senses like an earth shattering wave, filling your body with pure euphoria. your hips shake erratically and your cunt clenches around his thrusting cock uncontrollably as you ride out your orgasm. he continues to fuck you through your climax, relishing in the way your cunt drips around his cock and squeezes him so deliciously with your release.

from the way jeno’s length starts to twitch against your walls, you know he’s close. his thrusts go from strong and steady to fast and erratic as he desperately chases his orgasm.

the phone has been silent for a while and you think jaemin has already hung up.

until you hear him say “did you really think i didn’t know what you were doing this entire time? what you sound like when you’re getting your pussy fucked? like i don’t know that you only call us daddy when we’re fucking you like the dumb slut you are? open the fucking door i’m already home.”

[flippinpancakes64]

Could you write the Cullen's accidentally hurting their SO and how they would react?? (I alr know Jasper's is about to be so angsty lol)

The Cullens accidentally hurting their S/O

I've literally been rubbing my hands together like an evil villain waiting to do this request. I saw it in my inbox and had to hold myself back lol. And yes, I cannot resist the temptation to make Jasper suffer, so be prepared

Edit I got so carried away. If I had a word count on these it might be like 10k lol sorry not sorry

And thank you for this request! This was so much fun to write lol I hope you enjoy it!

Also quick note I might have channeled a bit too much inspiration from Saw or something cause I ended up getting a bit too into my descriptions of the injuries so

TW for graphic depictions of violence

Edward:

You really wanted to go to this concert

Edward knew that, so as a birthday gift he bought you two tickets

One for you and one for him of course

He drove you to the stadium, studying the songs he was going to be hearing later that night

He bought everything that you looked at

You basically had your own merch table

The night was going great

You both found your seats, you were happily eating some overpriced stadium food, and the show was about to start

When a guy stood directly in front of you

The bad part about floor seats is that there aren't seats

The guy was easily 6'6, towering above you even if you are taller

Reading your thoughts, Edward tapped the guy on the shoulder, asking him if he would kindly move or crouch or something

He just looked, rolled his eyes, and stared forward again

"Dude, my partner can't see the show. Please just move a little"

"Don't care. Not my problem."

Edward's getting pissed, and the guy can tell

"What, you wanna fucking fight? Square up rich boy."

"No I don't want to fight I just want you to move a little"

"Okay, then maybe your partner here will fight instead"

And the next thing you know, you see the guy's huge fist heading straight for your head

Before it can land, Edward's hand pushes on your chest, sending you back into the people behind you and ending with you flat on the ground

Your back aches from the impact, your neck torqued from where your head whipped, and your cheek stinging from landing on the side of your face

You feel Edward's chill hands on the sides of your face, and faintly you hear him ask something frantically

You groan in pain as you feel him pick you up, and finally succumb to sleep

You wake up in Carlisle's clinic, staring at the white ceiling

A cold hand is wrapped around yours, and when you turn your head, you're greeted with bright gold eyes

No words are exchanged for a moment before you clear your throat

"So... did you at least rock that guy's shit?"

He laughs and kisses you

Alice:

Alice was having a terrible week

She had been getting vision after vision, and none of them were true

Everything from a huge motor accident to what color shoes someone at school was going to wear

It was constant

She was running in circles, going somewhere, seeing a vision, turning around to go somewhere else, seeing a vision, turning again, and on and on

She was currently driving

Or more like swerving

All you needed were some damn glue sticks for a project you needed to do

But every time Alice decided on a new destination, a vision of a horrible catastrophe would enter her mind, and she would change her course

You had enough

"Alice! Enough of this! Just pull over and let me drive!"

"No! I need to know the safest route... ugh! Everywhere is dangerous!"

"Name one vision you've had in the past week that actually came true."

"Well I don't know if they would have come true or not because I didn't go to those places. And look! We are perfectly fine! Everyone is fine!"

"But I don't have all night, Alice! Just choose a fucking store and go there!"

"Fine."

And so she did. She chose the small supermarket right outside of town

She looked nervous as soon as she placed the car in park

But you ignored it and walked in

You walked through the aisles, looking for the one thing you came here for, when you hear Alice gasp behind you

In her mind, she sees you tripping and falling into a display of DVDs, cutting your arm on one of the metal frames holding them in place

And straight in your path is the DVD case

So naturally she tries to grab you

Only she doesn't grab you, she accidentally pushes

You don't fall in her vision, just like how you didn't fall in real life

She was the one who hurt you, pushed you

That was the problem

The reason why there was a horrible disaster everywhere she tried to go was because she was going to cause something one way or another

Only this is worse, because now it involves you

The DVDs scatter, and she hears your cry of pain as the sharp, crooked metal frame pierces the skin of your arm

She is by your side in a moment, scooping you up and not even bothering with the mess you both left behind

On the way home, you are trying to convince her that it's not that bad, but she is beside herself

After Carlisle's inspection, you get a couple of stitches in your right bicep, but other than that you're perfectly fine

And Alice doesn't leave your side

She is constantly fussing

Asking if you're okay, if you need anything, if you're mad at her, if you want to leave her, if you blame her

But after you go to sleep and she watches over your peaceful form, she convinces herself that you're alright

Jasper:

It was spring break and the Cullens decided to go to one of Carlisle's many tropical properties

It was the third day of the trip, everybody went to do their own things

Alice, Esme, and Rosalie went into town to go souvenir shopping

They dragged Emmett along to be their personal bag carrier

Edward and Bella were down at the private beach that came with the property, enjoying the sun and relaxing

That left you, Jasper, and Carlisle

The three of you were at the attached pool on the house

Carlisle was marinating in the hot tub, sunglasses on and a book in his hands

You and Jasper were in the pool doing anything and everything

Diving, jumping, swimming, racing (he always won), and messing with the pool toys

You had just climbed up the stairs to get out of the pool again, intending on showing Jasper your graceful canonball

But he noticed you were walking a bit too fast

He saw you trip, and like slow motion he sprang out of the water to save you

Only he didn't

His arms wrapped around your middle, saving you from a possible twisted ankle or scraped knee or bruised butt

But that didn't stop the back of your head from smacking onto the concrete

White hot pain erupted behind your eyes and knocked you out instantly

Your blood began to seep onto the wet floor beneath you, and he couldn't help himself

Carlisle heard everything and got up immediately

But he didn't get there in time to stop Jasper from wrapping his mouth around your throat and biting down

In a flash Carlisle threw Jasper up and off of you, rocketing him into the water, and scooped you up to run inside

You awoke some hours later, a throbbing in your head and a dull pain in your neck

The beep of a heart monitor was all you heard

Looking around, you were in the room you shared with Jasper, where just the night before you wrapped around his cold body and drifted to sleep

Only he was nowhere to be seen

Carlisle came to check on you, and he told you what happened

"Where is he? Where's Jasper?"

"... He... left."

"What do you mean he left?"

"He almost killed you. He would have killed you if I wasn't there. He feels terrible- no. Terrible isn't strong enough of a word."

It takes Emmett and Edward tracking him down and dragging him home for you to see him again

And even then he insists on Edward and Emmett holding his arms in case he were to try anything

He looks so broken

Muted red eyes, golden blonde hair shooting in every direction, the same swim trunks he had been wearing that day were covered in dirt and blood- presumably yours

And his face

He looked on the verge of tears, he would have been crying if he could

If the dry heaves coming from deep in his chest were any indication

He flinches when you take his face in your hands, trying to get away, not wanting to hurt you more

But when he kisses you, he remembers why he tries so hard to be good in the first place

Rosalie:

You had been asking Rosalie for WEEKS if she would pleeeeeeease take you hunting with her

And she had been turning you down for weeks

It's a very gross, animalistic process that she, quite frankly, doesn't want you to see

But she loves you

And she is only so strong

So after so many begs, pleads, and puppy dog eyes, she caves

She decides to make it a cute little weekend trip

Taking you to one of Carlisle's properties farther north into the snowy mountain region

You settle in to the spacious cabin and Rosalie makes sure you're all bundled up in luxurious furs and warm scarves before you both venture into the wilderness

She explains what she's doing step-by-step while she sniffs the air, searching for her prey

A wolf because she's part of the "Fuck Jacob" team

She sits you in a clearing and tells you to stay in place while she finds her wolf

You do, finding a snowy log and brushing it off to sit on

She ventures into the forest, eventually finding a suitable wolf and beginning her hunt

Chasing the wolf, being chased by the wolf, until she eventually leads it to your clearing

She knows you'll love the theatrics of seeing her kill it in live action

She chases the beast all the way until it's about to clear the tree line before she pounces

She can imagine herself from your point of view

Bright, shiny skin, flowing hair, posed in midair, and finally coming down gracefully upon her prize

Except she doesn't

The wolf takes a quick turn at the last moment, sending her flying straight into you

There's not much she can do while suspended in flight, and it happens too fast for you to recognize

In an instant her whole body slams into you at full force, knocking both of you onto the powdery ground below

The grunt of pain you let out is excruciating

She rolls off of you quickly, holding onto you, asking if you're okay, if you're hurt

You try to put on a brave face, but when you move your left arm in an attempt to prop yourself up, you find you can't move it

Broken. Completely snapped. And you scream

She paces in Carlisle's home clinic while he puts your cast on, worried out of her mind

But when Carlisle opens the door and she sees you sitting on the table with a goofy grin and a bright red cast, she can't help but relax

"You said red was your favorite color, right?"

And she just kisses you

Emmett:

You'd been dating Emmett for a while now, and had decided it was time for him to meet your family

And what better time and place for a first meeting than your nephew's fourth birthday party?

It was the middle of August, and the sun was hot

The icing was melting off of the cake as it sat on the food table

All of the adults were drinking margaritas and the kids had decided to play with the water balloons to cool off

Your uncle and Emmett were filling up the balloons as all of the kids at the party talked excitedly

You laughed as your nephew came up to you and asked you to be on his team for the fight

Of course you couldn't say no

And of course, to even the playing field, the other team got to have your human tank of a boyfriend

Very even

Emmett just smirked at you as your uncle assumed his place as the referee and commenced the battle

Pink, blue, green, yellow, and red balloons were flying like crazy

Small party hats were knocked off of even smaller heads

The giggles of 20 little kids rang loud in the air as water spurted all over the grassy lawn

And you took your chance to pelt your boyfriend as hard as you could

His light blue shirt was soaked, and his khaki shorts had a huge wet spot on the front

You were doubled over in laughter at the sight of your scary boyfriend covered in little pieces of rubber, with one particularly large piece hanging off of his ear

But he hadn't thrown any at you yet

"Come on, big guy! Don't be a wussy!"

"Oh you asked for it now!"

You saw him grab a little pink water balloon, it looking even smaller in his hand, and he threw it straight at your head

You briefly wonder if he filled his balloon with cement

The next thing you know you're laying in bed, an ice pack perched on your forehead

"Oh my god, you're awake. I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't mean to, you know how I get out of control sometimes. Not that that's an excuse! I'm just trying to explain-"

You cut him off with a finger to his lips

"Shush... .'m tired"

And so he just lets you sleep the rest of the night, his hand in yours the whole time

Esme:

Frankly, she doesn't know why you asked for her help

The Cullens had just moved into their newest house, and everything was set for the "kids" to join the local highschool the next day

You wanted a new look

"New place, new people, new me" you had said

She understood that much

But when you approached her one night with a box of hair bleach and a pleading look on your face, she was lost

Why her? Why not Alice or Rosalie? Or- and hear me out- a professional? They had the money

But you wanted to do it yourself. But not actually yourself For some reason you wanted Esme to do it

And even though she didn't understand, she still agreed

So that's how she found herself closely studying the instructions on the back of the little box telling her what to mix and where

"What's taking so long?"

"Hold on... ugh! This thing doesn't make any sense!"

"It's okay I'm sure it's super simple. I mean they give you all of the stuff. Just mix it all together and slap it on my head!"

Bad idea

She mixes everything together just like you asked, and plops a big lump of it onto the crown of your head

Instantly your hair starts smoking

You scream, asking her to take it off

And she tries, but it's not working

Carlisle to the rescue once more

She is so apologetic

She feels so bad that she hurt you so much

And at least you did get that new look you wanted

Shaved-to-the-skin bald

Carlisle:

He was feeling a bit cooped up

He loves his family, and he loves his life in the Americas, but sometimes he misses traveling and his old friends

So he decided to take you with him to Europe to see some old pals

Not the Volturi obviously

But some other acquaintances he hadn't seen for a while

You were a month into the three-month trip Carlisle had planned

You'd visited Italy, Greece, Spain, France, Britain, and were on your way to Germany

This next friend you were on your way to visit was a man named Friedrich Hans

Carlisle spoke passively about him, nothing positive or negative

He was one of the ones he hadn't been able to contact beforehand about visiting

He wasn't even sure if Friedrich was still alive, or if he even lived in Germany

He wasn't betting on either, but he still figured he would try a visit

The taxi pulled up in front of an unassuming house on a busy street in Berlin, painted a light grey with black paneling around the windows and doors

Carlisle opened your door for you, extending a hand to help you out

He walked with you to the door, rapping his knuckles against the solid wood

Instantly it creaked open and a voice inside whispered "Perfect" before a pale, veiny hand reached out and grabbed your arm

You yelled for it to let you go, begging Carlisle for some help

He grabbed you around the waist with one arm, using the other to try to pry the man's hand from your wrist

The opposing forces splintered on your bones and a sickening crack ran through your arm

Your hand fell limp and Carlisle was finally able to pry you away from the force in the house

"Ah... Carlisle... old friend"

"Old friend? You just tried to kill my S/O!"

"S/O... you always were a weird one Mr. Cullen... sincerest apologies... come in for chat?"

"No thank you, I believe we will be taking our leave now."

And with that he rushed you to the nearest hospital

He didn't have his medical equipment, so he just pretended to not know German so they wouldn't ask questions about how you broke your wrist

He cuts the trip short then and there

He sends letters to all of his friends that he wasn't able to visit, explaining that something urgent came up

He is so apologetic for the weeks afterward

He is convinced it was his fault even though it wasn't

He doesn't relax until your cast is off btw

Vampire! Bella:

Since she's so new to the vampire life, she doesn't know her own limits yet

She has hurt you a lot in the past

All accidents of course

Hugging you too hard, punching you playfully on the shoulder, telling you to catch something and literally lobbing it as hard as she can

She always feels terrible afterwards

But the worst was the time you took her bowling

It was 10 am on a Tuesday and there was no one at the bowling alley

Not even the competitive grandmas and grandpas in their bowling leagues

The only other person in the building was the bored looking cashier who wasn't even trying to hide that he was on his phone behind the counter

You both took your time to pick your balls, trying out all of the ones on the rack to see your best fits

You laced up your ugly shoes, input your names on the scoreboard screen and off you went

It was fun for the first couple of turns

Until the ball return does that stupid thing where it doesn't actually return your ball

It's your turn, and you're standing at the ball return tapping your foot restlessly waiting for it to show up

"You know, you can just use mine"

Bella stands up and grabs the ball she chose

The resin was a beautiful mix of black, purple, and pink with some reflective glitter sprinkled throughout

It's so gorgeous that you don't even check the weight

You hold out your hands to take it and it just drops straight through

And directly onto your foot

You let out a loud scream and try to move, but the ball won't roll off of your foot

Bella starts panicking, asking what she should do, scrambling around until eventually she picks up the ball and throws it onto the ground behind her

Maybe she forgot that the cashier was there, or maybe she didn't care, but she picked you up and started sprinting at full speed back to the Cullen house

She even left the car at the alley smh

On the verge of inconsolable

She is so frustrated that she can't learn to control herself

Doesn't leave your side tho

Note: Just for shits and gigs I timed how long this took me

Started at 12:01 am

Jasper done at 12:21 am

Edward done at 12:40 am

Alice done at 12:56 am

Rosalie done at 1:19 am

Emmett done at 1:33 am

Esme done at 1:44 am

Carlisle done at 2:03 am

Bella done at 2:16 am

Total time 2 hrs 15 mins

[phsychobanana]

Hi!! I really like your writing 💖💖 and I was wondering if you could write a fic about Peter and his s/o that always bickers with him?

-🪼

Shut her up with a kiss

Summary: When Y/n won't stop arguing with her boyfriend, Peter, he has an idea on how to get her to stop.

Word count: 839

A/n~ Hiiiiii! Thank you, I try my best to write good fics for my followers and random internet geeks! I love this request but I wasn't sure if you meant Parker or Pevensie. I'm assuming Pevensie? Correct me if I'm wrong and I'll make you a new fic! I'm sorry if this isn't what you had in mind, I genuinely have no idea how a couple would bicker seeing as I've been single since I came out the womb.

"Hey, Ed." Peter nods to Edmund as they pass each other, Edmund on his way to train and Peter on his way to the library.

Edmund nods back to him and continues on his way, but before he can get too far, he remembers something. "Oh! Y/n's looking for you, Peter... Good luck." With that, Edmund runs off to train, his evil giggles filling the halls.

"PETER!!!" Y/n's yell echoes through the halls as she turns the corner, looking for the blonde king. "There you are!" She walks up to him angrily, every step she takes makes Peter feel as though he's shrinking.

"What?" Peter looks at her confused as he tries to hold in any fear he feels at the angry look in Y/n's eyes.

"What? Did you just say what?" Her skin grows hot as her annoyance rises. "You ate all of my chocolate and you have the nerve to say 'what'?"

"I didn't even eat you chocolate!" Peter tries to defend himself.

"Then who did?!" Y/n pokes at Peter's chest just as Lucy, mouth dirtied with melted chocolate bits, passes behind Y/n. Peter aggressively points his finger to Lucy but Y/n turns too late, Lucy and his freedom gone.

"Don't try to distract me, Pevensie."

Last name basis? It was nice knowing you Peter...

Y/n grabs him by his shirt collar and pushes him against the wall they were next to.

"Why did you eat it?" Y/n asks almost boredly.

"I-I didn't!" Peter struggles to speak clearly, his and Y/n's faces so close that he can't focus properly. His eyes drop to her lips and she notices, a smirk playing on her lips.

"You want a kiss?" She asks and Peter nods immediately and almost too enthusiastically.

Y/n leans in slowly and Peter can feel her breath against his lips. Y/n's lips just barely graze over Peter's before she pulls away with a small laugh. Peter lets out a whine of protest as he tries to find her lips again, the short brush of their lips not enough for him.

"Too bad. If you hadn't eaten my chocolate, I might have considered." Y/n lets go of him and walks off as Peter stares after her, slightly upset.

***

"PETER MOTHERFUCKING PEVENSIE!!!"

"Ah shit, what now?"

"You didn't cuddle me last night! How could you?" Y/n pouts and crosses her arms over her chest.

"That's seriously what this is about? I'm in the middle of a meeting." Peter jesters to all of the fellow "important people" in the room.

Y/n waves to them with an awkward smile and then turns back to Peter. "These old dudes don't care-"

"I'm only 26-"

"Shhhh, no one cares. Anywho, you owe me Pete. I'm not okay with this."

"Yeah, yeah. See you later, alright?"

Y/n nods and walks out of the room, still the slightest bit annoyed with her boyfriend.

***

"I'm boredddd." Y/n whines as she tugs at her boyfriend's sleeve.

"I'm working, I should be the bored one." Peter smiles softly at his girlfriend's antics.

"I'm working nyeh nyeh nyeh." Y/n mumbles under her breath, mocking Peter.

"What was that?" Peter leans his ear closer to her.

"What was that?" Y/n does the same.

"Stop that." Peter rolls his eyes.

"Stop that." Y/n says back, deepening her voice.

"...Peter Pevensie is hot."

"..."

"Oh come on!"

"Oh come on!"

"Stop it, seriously." Peter looks at Y/n sternly.

"You're no fun." Y/n huffs and plops back into her chair.

"I'm very fun. Wanna see how fun I can be?" Peter looks at Y/n with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"No."

"Don't act like that. Come onnnnn." It's Peter's turn to whine and tugs on her arm.

"No. You ate my chocolate, didn't cuddle me, you've been spending more time with those stupid pieces of paper than you have with me, and you aren't entertaining me while I'm bored! Where's the receipt, I'm returning you." Y/n starts rummaging through her pockets as Peter rolls his eyes at her with a fond smile on his face.

"You siriusly want a kiss?" Y/n asks in disbelief.

Peter nods, not having been able to kiss his girlfriend for two weeks because of her attitude lately.

"Well I don't. I'm still sad about my ch-"

"Oh shut up already." Peter says before he smashes his lips on hers.

The kiss is everything that Peter had been longing for as he places his hands on Y/n's waist. Y/n Is quite tense as first, not wanting to kiss him out of stubbornness, but she slowly begins to melt into it when he places his hands on her waist.

The both pull apart for air after a moment, resting their foreheads against each other's.

"I'm sorry if I've upset you lately." Peter says, his lips brushing Y/n's as he speaks.

"It's okay." Y/n says quickly before going in for another kiss.

[somewhereincairparavel]

okay. So I've finished book 1 of keeper of the lost cities for the first time. And I'm loving this keefe dude already?? Like I never thought I'd like a fictional character so quickly. All it took was like one page for me to fall for him, I am aware that keefe is one of the most loved characters in the fandom, and I can see why (correct me if I'm wrong).

Also the book is a solid 9.5/10, the only thing I was frustrated about was probably the slight info dumping about the whole blackswan thing towards the end? because it took me like 3 reads to understand the whole situation, of course, we could just narrow it down to me being slow too, lol. But I'm VERY excited to continue reading the rest. So while we're at it, I'll put in my first impressions of the characters, so I can look back on it after I've read all the books, to see how much my perception has changed of them.

Sophie- i like her, she's really mature for her age, I keep forgetting that she's like 12 lmao. But she's well written, her emotions seem very raw and natural. Of course, she may seem overpowered but, I think that's the whole point of the story, she is supposed to be overpowered, so I don't mind and i wouldn't call her a Mary sue. Overall great protagonist, my girlie deserves a break tho, she got dumped in the hospital atleast 6 times lol.

Fitz- i actually think he's cool. I liked him better in the beginning of the story tho, I feel like afterwards, the dude kinda just disappeared a little? Keefe and Sophie seemed to have more private interaction than those two, and keefe literally only came by in the middle. But yeah, I feel like he had more of a personality in the start. Keefe and Dex, in my opinion had more personality in 5 minutes than fitz did the whole book, but I wouldn't judge so quickly, it's only the first book after all, Hopefully he'd have more page time in the later books. I still like him tho, just not as much as keefe.

Dex- Yeah he is such a typical best friend, I love him. His beef w the vackers is so funny lol I was relieved when Sophie stuck with him even after she became popular tho, also, he seems to have a crush on sophie right? It's kinda obvious, but overall friendship goals 10/10. I vocally "AWW-ed" after he said "are you kidding, i can't wait to tell everyone that you're my first friend" like I need a guy bestie like him :(

Alden- honestly, my heart warmed so much with his father-like dynamic with sophie tbh. He seemed to genuinely care about her well being, but I don't want to get too attached to him tho, just in case becomes a traitor or some shit later on, you can literally never tell with the adults lol. I've read enough books to back that up. But yeah, i really like him and della, the amount of reassuring hugs he gives sophie really heals me :(, They're like sophies 2nd (well, in her case, 3rd) parents. The amount of effort and lengths Alden put to get her out of trouble is actually sweet.

Elwin- This guy is such a W. He is like an adult keefe tbh. He is probably my favorite adult so far lol.

Cassius- I'm sorry, but Mr jerk face over here reminds me SO much of Lucius Malfoy??? Like ?? I feel so bad for Keefe, like poor baby leave him alone smh. I really wanna deck his royal highness in the face tbh.

Biana- absolutely loathed her in the beginning, she gave off such bad snob vibes lol but I love her now. I like the trope of two people forced to be friends w eachother by someone actually end up becoming friends. It's rather uncommon as far as I've read, atleast.

Grady and Edaline- is it bad that i thought they were going to be evil? Yeah I have so much trust issues, it's concerning. But yeah, they're both big W's, their backstory, their temporary contemplation to reject sophies adoption, everything aligned well with their backstory. Greatly written characters.

And last but not least, the king himself, Keefe- okay, he's like added to my list of fictional crushes now lol (along with Percy Jackson, Jason grace, Steve Harrington, chat noir, Eugene fitzherbert, edmund pevensie and Ravi singh ofc). How does sophie not have a fat crush on him, like- ma'am if you don't want him, I'll take him. But jokes aside, he feels like the most authentic character out of them all, tbh. Epitome of great writing. He was inserted to the story as this random dude that sophie runs into, and becomes an og in like 5 minutes. He is like a mix of Eugene from tangled, Kristoff from Frozen and chat noir from mlb all at the same time?? I cannot wait to see more of him and his backstory, especially with his parents. I know alot of people dislike the humorous guy with depression trope since it's overused, but I like how it played out on keefe, he uses school as an escape, which is very relatable.

Also, bonus, i LOVE the world building, the light leaping and all, very creative. I cannot wait to get my hands on book 2

[tumblingxelian]

No idea how I got here, but Futurama's Were-Care storyline but starring Adrien, Nino & Chloe, IE:

Adrien was at some rich people thing elsewhere and seemingly got attacked by a dog but not really hurt, phew! Then it turns out he's turning into a werewolf, oh no! Nino gets pulled in and they hunt down what they think is the lycan who turned Adrien.

A guy: Get off my land you ignorant villagers! Adrien: We aren't villagers. Nino: Or ignorant, don't be presumptuous dude. Chloe: We are Sophisticated Parisians, now jump him!

Turns out he wasn't the Lycan they were looking for but he did provide information, namely that this lycan curse causes the afflicted to eventually hunt down and and devour their closest friend.

Chloe: For once in my life, I don't want to be me.

As they zero in on the original Lycan they need to lock Adrien up for the night.

Adrien: Wow, sealed in a secret room with metal walls and bars, its like all my nightmares came true. Nino: I'm sorry man, just try to get some sleep; then we'll come get you in the morning to hunt down and slaughter that ancient evil. Chloe: It will be a rich full day!

Adrien breaks out however, but hunts down Nino who manages to trick him back into the cage, but this all deeply offends Chloe.

Chloe (Glaring at the Adrien werewolf currently smashing against the metal doors) You two timer, you're meant to kill your best friend which I thought was me! Nino: Hey can you help me up the stairs? I think I twisted my ankle running from Adrien. Chloe: Stop rubbing it in!

Next morning:

Adrien: Oh Chloe, I didn't hurt you did I? Chloe: Not physically, but why don't you ask your new best friend! Nino: It was mad wholesome of you to try and murder me, my dude. Adrien: Glad you're OK man and Chloe don't be upset, my hearts big enough for two! Chloe: Humph! The nerve!

Chloe does still help though, and cue the basic ending of the Futurama episode, ala they find the original Werewolf, but he can force Adrien to transform, but this time he goes for Chloe.

Chloe: Haha, yes, I win! Adrien (Almost claws her head off) Chloe: Great work Adr-kins, keep it up!

They win cos of a Scooby Doo esc plan thrown together by Nino & Chloe's athletic skills, and things end on a wholesome note. Also Adrien briefly thinks cos Chloe's not there (She was in the other room) that he killed her.

Adrien: Oh gods I killed her didn't I!? Chloe: You didn't! But I know you tried and that's what counts! :D Adrien & Chloe (Hug)

Nino: (Watching this and looking to the camera like he's on the office as he slowly shakes his head)

[undercoverdonderwolk]

to add onto the weird behavior around WAGs i’d say that fans have the weirdest behavior with kelly piquet. i do think their reasons for hating her are valid, even without the age gap with max of it all, she just doesn’t seem to be a good person lmfao. but also a lot of the hate for her seems kind of… exaggerated to me? like they hate her in general and nitpick everything she does when that really isn’t the issue here. and when asked why they act like that they hide behind the excuses of the terrible stuff she’s done + her age gap with max.

to me it’s like yeah go ahead and hate her for being terrible but also… have you not considered the fact that this is a person max chooses to associate with? like i’m not saying having a terrible partner = you being a terrible person as well but. you get me.

and it IS weird that she said she had a magical night/connection with max from the first meeting when he was 18/19 that time (even weirder if the rumors she used to babysit him are true — where do people get that???). but if you’re going to hate on her can we please stick to these points that prove she is weird instead of fixating on literally everything she does??? lmfao some of it is veering too close into misogynistic territory to me

like just yesterday people were hating on her for saying that max is “aging” and trying to get him into a skincare routine (or moisturizer, at least). they were calling out the age gap, saying she’s the one that’s old and aging when 1.) it’s normal for women to want their partners to take care of themselves 2.) nowhere did she imply that max is aging BADLY and it NEEDS to be fixed with a 10 step korean skincare routine ASAP!!! 3.) them switching up and saying “erm actually YOU are the old one here” is giving classic ageism women face

just lots of weird behavior around imo. another one that struck me as weird in particular was that edited image going around a few weeks ago where someone removed her from a picture of her max and penelope like THAT IS HER DAUGHTER??? SHE IS THE MOTHER????? and it had thousands of likes too like. guys it’s getting weird what is happening here

this is so long sorry lol with all the WAG discussions here i just figured it’s time to spew my kelly piquet thinkpiece

i agree with you to a certain extent. but i think hating is kind of a useless term to use to be honest. if some rando chick makes you feel enough of a feeling to call it hate like, that's when people need to look inwards lmaooo. there's a difference between being critical of the institution that is a wag/athlete relationships and kinda being weirdly personal about it so as soon as someone's talking about 'hate' i'm like okay that's an opinion that's irrelevant to me because idc about her to the extent that it's that personal to her and me. but yeah you're totally right that like, most of the hate and the love for her seems to exist out of the same need to pookify max. either she's the evil evil woman who corrupted max and max needs to be saved from her or it's hashtag true love and it makes max a perfect boyfriend etc. both are p weird to me because it's like you all realize this is isn't about her right....you're using her to prop up max so it's still not hashtag feminism even if you claim it is lol though i will say the aging comment was weird to me lmaoooo. though it probably wasn't meant for public consumption so even weirder for someone to share that she said it. but if you turn the tables and it was a ten year older man talking about how his younger gf should be using skincare so she would keep looking young people would be freaking ouuttttttt. like if there was some dude in his mid thirties telling his mid twenties gf she wasn't allowed to gain weight and writing her insta comments etc there'd be outrage and for good reason idk why it should be any different the other way around tbh. i guess you could argue that's their thing and we shouldn't have an opinion but max can't stop making documentaries about his personal life and kelly v actively uses her relaysh with max for the clout and the money, which is fair but if you're gonna put it all out there, down to like sharing when your kid's first day of school is lol, people are going to have opinions. the editing her out thing was weird af. though i will say i think the 'GIRL DAD THAT'S A DADDDD THAT'S HIS KIDDDD' is just as weird tbh. he's gone out of his way to be like yo i'm not trying to be a step parent so for people to use her kid so they can uwufy hastag girldad (evil term) max falls in the same category as going to lengths to photoshop her out. it all comes down to the same thing: trying to make max look better and using a bunch of women/girls to do so

[leleamo]

Hard Days in Hell

(episode 1, season 1)

(A big thank you to @nyxthehunterxdblog who came up with the idea for the episode name)

Hell, inside a dark cave with small lamps that barely lit the place, looked like a village, with rotten apple trees surrounding the place and houses, and in the center of the place, the large tower of the owner of the place... there were no schools, hospitals, water, only imps with bad attitudes and evil minds... except one.

admiring the sea of blood, with a small torture area for sinners, was Blitz, an imp, holding a bag with food, a little money in his hand, and a cell phone to his ear

"Blitz! Are you listening to me?! Dude, I hate when you stop talk" the harsh voice came from the cell phone, waking Blitz from his trance

"Sorry Drake, I.. I have to go home, we'll see you later... bye"

"Dude, you irritate me."

Hanging up the well-kept but cheap phone, Blitz walked to the hill, where the poorest imp lived, with shabby houses at risk of falling down, and one of them was the house of Blitz and his sisters.

Blitz walked while scratching his dark circles, tired from his last job, living as a fix it-man was hard, but that didn't matter, having food at home was his life's mission and that's how he would live, while saying good night to his neighbors, he arrived at his house, but something caught his attention, his sisters surrounding a harpy eagle, beautiful and rich-looking...

who seemed to be embroidering something, Blitz moved, his sisters noticed and went to meet him, with warm hugs, and cute "I'm glad you arrived!" "We're having a surprise for you!" "Miss Stella, don't tell him yet!" Blitz's eyes looked up at Stella, so that was the name of the beautiful lady...

"Girls... can you come inside please...?" The little girls went inside, leaving only him and her "ah.. ehh.. hi"

"heheh, hello, you're Blitz, right? Nice to meet you, sir" was a delicate and graceful voice, as she settled herself sitting on the small wall that surrounded the hill "your sisters are so sweet, they all came to me when they saw me, they said they had already seen me around the village and wanted me to do some embroidery for you, hehehe, they described you perfectly..." her eyes went up and down as she analyzed Blitz "they were so sweet that I didn't mind doing it for free! hehehe~<3"

"thank you, that's very kind of you" Blitz said as he sat down next to her "I didn't doubt they would use the money for that... can I see?" He calmly took her cute and well-made embroidery, from Blitz with a smile that he only had with his sisters, they really described him well "it's great... you did a great job"

"thanks... they said you work a lot and that it wouldn't be a very good reward, but that it would still be a great gift..."

"ah.. uh.. it's a great gift indeed... but a really good gift is them, my only family... heh... I just try to make us have a more decent life, even if..." he looked at the little money in his hands... and so did she.

"you know... I heard that the Goetia pay very well, and they don't mind having imps walking around their homes, if you save enough, you can at least.. I don't know, buy a better house"

"saving money doesn't work, where do I get money to buy food?-

"I'll buy it! I'll stay here with the girls while you work and pay for the food!"

"... do you want to be my Sugar Mommy or something? hehehe!"

"it's my way of making new friends.."

"buying them?"

"do you want my help or not?"

"hahah! I want I want... thank you Stella..."

she laughed before standing up, smiling and picking up her belongings "ah but to talk to the Goetias you need to ask permission from... you know who..." she gave a hopeful smile and left, Blitz smiled back and then looked at the tower, the owner's tower, where he would have to go... but tomorrow, now, it was time to rest...

the next morning, already in front of the tower's great gates, Blitz entered, the place was completely dark and black, with few windows that gave very little light, after we walked through the hallway, he arrived at the room of mirrors... and in the center, there was him, L, admiring himself as if he were the only one...

"sir... sorry to bother you... I wanted to know if I have permission to talk to the Goetias..." Blitz's voice echoed through the giant room...

"Yes." was the only thing he said, without even turning around to take his face away from the mirrors, and Blitz wasted no time and ran away, he felt uncomfortable in his presence, he hated having to consider that to be like his creator...

leaving the place, Blitz sighed in relief, not only for having left, but because now... it could be the chance to change his life... okay, it was time to start!

thanks for reading!

[nathanialhowe]

Dragon Age OC Lineup

Richter (Ricky) Cousland. -> Human. Sword & Board Warrior. He / Him. Bisexy. -> Lawful Good/Stupid to Neutral Good pipeline (still stupid) -> Romance: Morrigan but there was a lil something homosexual happening with Alistair for a bit if i'm not mistaken. In the end pragmatic and probably evil coochie won out sorry brother. -> Meat? There's heft. Really big. but hes like shy about it hes like omg? am i packing 12 inches of uncut beef? whaaat. ermmm. do u still like me? 😳

Ricky is ignorant, naive, a little classist, dumb, self-sacrificing, trusting, loyal, brave, spineless in his beliefs cus he thinks he's stupid, and will trust people in positions of power more often than he should. He likes it when people tell him what to believe cus then he doesn't have to do any hard thinking. This changes a lil bit in that he loses faith in a lot of the institutions around Ferelden and the greater world but he still doesn't like to do any big deep thinking about stuff <3 He's also a deadbeat dad and Idt he knows how to parent Kieran very well lmao. he used 2 be rlly uptight abt his appearance/cleanliness until oggie called him a stupid rich pussy and now hes like eh whatever abt being waist deep in hurlock cunt or whateever

Batman Hawke. -> Human. Mage. Iforget what kinds there r in da2. She/Her. -> Chaotic Neutral to Chaotic Good probably probably but shes reluctant to do "good" shit cus she doesnt really want to deal w ppl being like omg youre ms nice woman cus she's a bit of a self-hating poor who will not examine her freshly minted privilege ): I wouldn't say she's easy to manipulate thru appeal to pathos but if you're annoying enough with your sob story she will probably Consider. -> Romance: all of them like i literall had anders t posing in the back of the hawke estate while isabela and hawke rawdogged in the next room over lmaoaaa....Like canonly id say its like BatmanxFenris and Fenris and Batman are also with Isabela and Isabela is ALSO with Merrill. anders is there. idt batman actually recruited anders i think he got all intense on her and she was like damn lets ball ok but then he got too extreme and she was like dude im literally; strugling to care abt mage rights rn can you put a lid on it and then he was just following her around to mansplain why shes wrong. fair. she learned like nine new slurs from him. -> Meat? Biggest. like so big shes like which staff do u need tonight babygirl 😂😎 heyoooo and then gets left at the hanged man

Batman likes money and having stuff. <3 She likes beaing rich but she's really tacky about it. shes grubby and gross and is like im bringing wolfcuts BACK adn its like a shitty mullet <3 she goes into situations like ok explain why this involves me? and leaves while u r talking about ur missing wife or whatever. real "i dont want to talk abt politics at the table" type of shit shes on. i havent thought too hard about batman hawke but shes like passively suicidal but very cool about it and is 6ft and buff and has huge boobs and huge meat. she wants to be mr steals your girl but goes in for the high five at the worst possible time and doesnt realize shes actually the biggest failgirl of all time. i cant stress this enough she is NOT cool. "fake it till u make it" shes saying as shes applying 50lbs of eyeliner in the morning and shes crying but doesnt think u can see and she lies abt why her eyes r all red and says shes just smoking pot again. she should just be working at a waffle house but shes here.

Kronk of House Trevelyan. -> Another Human. Big Surprise. Rift Mage. -> Lawful Neutral to Lawful Evil pipeline but probably he was always a schemer and a social climber. -> Romance: Josephine and Dorian do not make me choose between them but if I'm being honest I don't know who'd want him. probably he fronts as way more kind and charming than he actually is and i DO think when kronk is loyal to someone he is ferociously so. but it takes a lot like that dude had half the inquisition hate his pussy so bad lmao. -> Meat? Yeah He's Got It but also if Kronk could cease to be a person and become, like, god? he'd do it. then meat wouldnt matter. (hes on some crazy copium) Actually he's thick as hell and chunky and all and is built like a brick wall but im going to be brave and say he's probably not packing a crazy amount like ricky and batman and if they ever found out theyd tease him abt it cus hes such an asshole lol

Kronk does bestieship with Vivienne and would destroy people's lives to see his allies in positions of power. he'd declare himself divine if it was possible. he's a self-hating mage and loves the circle. he doesn't necessarily have Faith in the circle OR in institutions but he wants to make it so they benefit Him and doesnt gaf about if theyre hurting other ppl who aren't in his #crew. (his crew is very small cus most ppl cannot stand this dude btw). he threatens to make ppl tranquil for the fuck of it and follows thru most of the time. he'll lie and cheat to make his way to the top but he wont get his own hands dirty <3 he loves knowledge and learning and power <3 he doesn't actually care abt money but he cares about status cus it will create avenues for him to pursue evil magic or whatever the fuck this dude wants. type of guy whos like yeah world domination sounds fun i could do that then he's in control and hes like FUckckkkkkkkkkkk im so bored. ok public execution time! or something. mostly he's a nihilist and doesnt have faith in his fellow man. he wants all the secrets of magic revealed to him <3 he doesnt like templars but hes like fine whatever we can deal if they wanna keep all other mages (NOT ME) under their thumb. "circles are great but u wont catch ME going back to mine!" type of guy. i resent that inquisition suggested the inquisitor was a huge Hawke fan cus kronk would fucking hate her new money ass. like shes just so stupid about things. ricky hates this dude btw their first meeting would come to blows and i think he was like morrigan can u just blow this dude Uppppppppp and she was like erm no. we cannot blow up the inquisitor and ricky was like farkkkkk ok. i just dropped kieran on his head again btw honey what do i do ):

Mingus R. Shepard.

Mingus.

[beevean]

So when Shinji mopes around and loses all will to live he's a cringy crybaby

When Guts does pretty much the same thing in the latest chapters he's a tragic figure (which he is of course)

(hah, funnily enough, the quote at the very beginning of the page is about shitting on Shinji)

And not to make it all about NFCV, but I need to put here whay they say about it because it really sums it all:

Hector and Isaac. Isaac is sharp-witted, hypercompetent, and a badass fighter, so despite him being openly evil and seeking to wipe out humanity, he receives a lot of audience praise and sympathy. Hector, on the other hand, is equally sympathetic. As of Season 3, however, Isaac only grows in competence and fandom praise, whereas Hector is manipulated and brutally enslaved by Lenore, with many fans and critics alike dismissing him as incompetent and stupid. Similarly, Lenore and Hector receive this. Lenore is a demure woman who is threatening and competent, effortlessly beating him in a Curb-Stomp Battle fight and stringing him along in her plans. Due to this coolness, many called her a highlight of the season and disliked Hector. This is despite her being a cruel and manipulative woman who openly states she intends to sexually abuse him, though we don't know if she actually went through with it.

(funny to me how this example hasn't been updated since S3. I'm sure they would have sucked Isaac's dick even more. "hypercompetent" call him gary stu because that's what he is)

The openly evil characters get sympathy and praise only because they're "badass fighters" and "competent", while the more morally grey dude, unfairly victimized, is hated for being "incompetent and stupid" - and as I've complained about, it's the reason they briefly "fixed" Hector in S4 by making him all cunning and backstabby even if it was painfully OOC.

And this is what really makes the difference, doesn't it? This sort of shallow coolness that boils down to pure physical strength.

Guts and Shinji both go through hell. They are abused, victimized, ostracized, have serious breakdowns, and yes, they do nearly unforgivable acts because of it - including, in both cases, molesting a girl. But Guts is also a hella cool dude with a sword that can cut down dragons and usually keeps either a cool façade or shows badass destructive rage, which makes the rare moments when he cries hit harder, while Shinji is a much more realistic depiction of a depressed 14 yo teen, and that's not cool to watch I guess. That's not "interesting". He hasn't earned the right to cry and have panic attacks, he hasn't earned the right to be felt sorry for, because well, if you cry too much, no one cares anymore.

I don't want to put either character down. I love Guts because he's fleshed out and relatable beyond his over-the-top badassery, but I also think Shinji is painfully well written, because he is meant to be a very uncomfortable look in the mirror. And I feel the need to defend him, because complaining that Shinji is "a whiny bitch" and he should be "cooler" is... pretty much thinking like Gendo, in a way. You're missing the point of the whole story. It's like saying Bojack Horseman sucks because the protagonist is a jerk who never learns his lesson lol.

[marvelmyriad]

markiplier Resident Evil: Village quotes as ask memes - PART 2:

well that was a wasted bullet, sorry

that was probably a mistake, i don't care though, whatever

this is where my adhd is really going to come in handy

all right come here you bastards, i know how to block now

oh, get stabbed

you're gonna get a face full of stab if you keep that up

i'm gonna use that the shotgun

you think i can't kill you with a knife, i can.  i'm probably going to have to

good thing he doesn't pull out his machete that would really be an advantage for him

unfortunately for him my arms are super sturdy

can i block with a gun? i can, okay. hey bud!

that's dope as hell, is there vodka in it?

i was in stealth mode, how dare you?

i want to save my gunpowder because i'm insane

maybe you should have locked it

you all right?  you need a knife to plug up that wound?

if it's just the one of you i shall stab thee, if it's two i am going to run away

oh i didn't think there were so many of you

okay watch this, you want to see something sick?  watch this watch this, watch this sickness

am i supposed to be able to shoot all these guys?  because i'm about to run out of bullets

you're gonna pay for that one in dividends

well money has value depending on who you ask otherwise it might just be rocks

okay so i something tells me i'm probably not supposed to try to kill all these dudes

hold on i gotta get more bullets

well that's good for me and bad for you

oh well good thing i killed all those dudes because otherwise they would have absolutely murdered you both, but i'm a hero

why is there chem fluid in the bathroom?

seems like you actually know how to lock things

yeah, you get far in life like that

look, i'm doing all the work here, if you want to sit in the house

there's so much blood, oh god

oh, maybe step out of the way of the gun

okay cool, just wanted to type out my life story real quick

don't mind if i look at all your things do you?  all right here i go, um ah, very interesting…

i wonder if this is all the places where there's like, secret stuff

who's talking to me?

you should put your faith in someone taller someone more uh, robust, powerful-powerful is really the word that we're all thinking of

whatever dude, you want to go outside?

uh okay sounds really convincing

that was a spell just to get the tea going

I have a gun, i ha- i have a gun, i have a gun, i got a gun

that voice sounded familiar

well uh you didn't do enough of the right thing

okay well that's fine this entire place is collapsing yeah, well, we'll be safe in here

no we're getting out of here together you and me, bestie, we're besties now, come on

yeah you know i gotta go, everything's on fire

but how about that cup of tea?

all right well i'm leaving and you can stay if you want i guess

what the hell do i do? am i stupid?

the answer is no, but also you guys probably got a wrong answer because you're stupid and said yes, so really who's this stupid one?  might be you

let's move, come on bestie, we got this.

let's go and try not to breathe in the smoke

uh oh i shouldn't have said something like that because that guarantees death

yep here's the guaranteed death

well that seemed unnecessarily dramatic.  if only you were nine feet tall, you could have reached me

i get that that one was very tragic but there was everything she could have done to prevent her doom

i feel like she would be screaming in agony from the fire burning

if only she knew about what a window was

good god i smacked my wound hand

i know i should feel like more remorseful but to be perfectly honest, that was a bit ridiculous

it's my fault for saying the magic words that gets people killed

oh hey, old bag of rats

all right man that was a toughie

nothing but blood and death

apparently i'm just i'm a badass

that wasn't cold at all, i'm fine

just taking a little soak, cleaning myself off, i want to be respectable and presentable

hey what's up? oh didn't think anyone was left, you must be pretty tough, huh?

you're not local, even better

oh i'm sorry, the metal spike in my chest is a little whine-inducing

i'm used to this, i run for my life like, a lot

oh wow this is just cruel

hey thanks for the money and the ammo

you didn't even take my gun, you amateur

do they not have cameras here? probably not, they only got an extremely intricate system of spinning blades why would they have cameras anyway?

extra baggage, okay, emotional or otherwise

shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up

all right, i got a dope ass gun

yeah, i'm sure that was nothing

oh, i'm just gonna let you do that apparently

how many horrific stab wounds have i sustained?

ow, that's my wound hand

this is not a sexual thing, it's about power right?

[milo-the-professional-yapper]

Hello! about your malevolent ask

[long ass answer- many apologies]

its a slightly goofy, sort of horror soap opera, in the vein of call of cthulu/tma. I dont find it Super Scary, but idk what your milage for horror is.

The overarching plot is drivin by the patrions (sp sorry), in the style of a choose your own adventure novel- you can usually tell where the choices are; it'll be something like 'omg arthur, we're at a crossroads- do we go left, to the evil cavern (where the horrors live) or right, to the evil woods (more horrors).' You can also hear more overt RPG stylings in the beginning- dice roll sounds for perception checks, etc. These do fade out after the first season.

Rough outline (some spoilers): John (a spirit/demon type guy) possesses Arthur (a detective from Arkham MA) and, in doing so, takes over his eyes. Now Arthur must navigate the world with only the guidance of the voice in his head. Horrors unfold, walls are walked into the boys are in their get-along consciousness. Think venom, if both of them were way bitchier and prone to swearing. and also eddy was blind.

IS IT GAY: Yes and no. If its a friendship, its really intense- but cannonicaly it has been very firmly stated that they are just friends. However, the relationship is intertwined and deep enough that many people consider it to be queerplatonic- Arthur being aromantic is a very popular interpretation, if that sweetens the pot for you (idk how loosely you're using gay here). Glib answer: its pretty queer, but no kissing.

COOL STUFF:

-A dramatic, intense relationship between a guy and the dude who lives in his head. They argue ( my god how they argue) they make up, they argue again.

-The saddest little english man (arthur) gets chucked off cliffs multiple times. Do you like men whimpering? This is the podcast for you!

-Very impressive voice acting: the writer voices absolutely everyone in the podcast (yes. everyone) and its genuinely almost unnoticeable. You really do have to have it pointed out to you.

-Fun, slightly campy (in the way of an rpg campaign) Lovecraft style horror

-Lovely piano soundtrack

-A gentleman called the butcher shows up in- what season 3? maybe?- and I adore him. Go singing irishman go. You get that violent homoeroticism.

Drawbacks:

Again, I don't really know your taste, but these are some of the things that might turn someone off from listening. YMMV etc.

-LOUD. If you dont like gentlemen yelling DIRECTLY AND ANGRILY INTO THE MIC then this is not for you. If you do like that, then you are about the have the time of your life. There is also just. An incredible amount of panting/heavy breathing. Also directly into the mic, and at length. Like, an 'i am secretly watching gay pornography' amount. I had it going on a speaker once and my roommate had questions, kind of amount

-Almost no women characters: understandable, since a dude is voicing Literally Everyone- but it is something of a sausage fest. Women exist in universe, they just tend to move in the backround/be unvoiced. Lots of 'oh heres whats happened to her' sort of describing around the 'I can't voice a woman' issue. One old lady has a few voice lines and thats it.

-Kind of a soap: This is a draw for me ngl, but if you are looking for TMA 2: the magnusing- she isn't it. Its a LOT lighter than tma, writing wise, and isnt exactly hitting any crazy new twists in its plot (if you've read Any lovecraftian stuff you probably wont be super surprised by anything)BUT. Its still very fun. Two dudes sharing a body, detective roadship shenanigans. They might kiss! Might see some skinned bodies or something.

The dynamics can be a lil repetative (wake up break up back together) and the plot can be a little- ehhhh. due to it being yk, patrion controlled- but that can be fun- it's pretty heavily a choose your own adventure story at heart, so if your down with that (and the sillyness that comes with it) then you'll like it.

-Gore: pretty gory. I enjoy that sort of thing/ am not really effected by it BUT if that not your cup of tea, then you might wanna skedaddle.

🤠 thats all. Again, apologies for the very long answer.

First off- don’t apologize! This gave me everything I needed- thank you for the detailed answer to my question! Looks like I’m giving this podcast a listen- everyone wish me luck 😭

[yukii0nna]

Queen of (Not Really) Mean.

Raven was scared of how this could go. It wasn't like she meant to lie to everyone about who she was. She just neglected to mention that she was the daughter of the Evil Queen who actually tried to steal a powerful book in order to rule over other worlds including their own. Okay, it was a very big deal. It wasn't that she didn't trust her friends but she didn't want to lose them. She was scared.

After a long time, she found a place where she wasn't the Devil's queen daughter or the Next Evil Queen. She was Raven, the girl who liked rock and roll. Raven, the weird girl with Fire magic. She was just Raven Queen. And she was scared to lose that comfort.

Still she has to come clean eventually, better start with the M.N.A. "Maybe if soften the blow, they wouldn't be mad that I lied to them".

It was a sunny day in Forie, so Raven suggested taking advantage by having a picnic. Right now, everyone was just enjoying the food and sunshine. The wind was blowing softly, slightly bending the flowers. Mikey was mixing some drinks for fun. Isamu was trying to go to the river and Bastion tried to stop her.

"Hey guys, I have something to tell you but you have to promise me something." Raven messed with her black hair as she spoke.

"A nervous tell" Bastion thought. "Depends on the thing, Raven." He knew her long enough to know when something's wrong. Isamu and Michael seem to have the same thoughts as they stopped what they were doing as soon as Raven said it.

"It's something I've been meaning to tell you for a while now." She started "Something that could change how you see me"

"Nothing in the world could do that, Rae! You're our friend and nothing can change that" Isamu shouted, standing up as if to punch the sky.

"Look Rae- Rae, we've seen and heard it all. Nothing can surprise us now" Michael said absent mindedly.

Raven took a big breath as if to steel herself."Well, what if I told you that fairy tales are real and I'm actually the daughter of the evil queen from Snow White who is destined to repeat her mother's story? "

Raven waited for the other shoe to drop. For the fear to appear in their eyes, for them to run away, for them to -

"Well that's just....dang Raven. Sorry your mom sucks" Mikey awkwardly shuffled around.

"That is quite the unfortunate circumstances."

"Agreed, please tell me your dad is okay at least." Isa looked worried for her.

"Yeah, he's okay just- Wait?! You're not scared of me? You still want to be my friend?"

"Yep!"

"Of course , Rae Rae"

"Give us some credit, Raven. We all know for a fact that you are not your mother or that you're ever going to be her." Bastion looked her dead in the eyes. "After all, you are the same girl who plays her music for all to hear. The same girl who will always try with her spells. And the same girl who is brave, caring and will always be Raven Queen. And no blood will ever change that. Hell no destiny will ever change that"

"Uh dude, you made her cry."

"Oh blast! Raven , are you okay?"

It was then she noticed that she was crying. At that she smiled.

"I'm the greatest, guys."

@bakawitch @insomniac-jay @zexal-club

[twidiarie]

Hii! Im so glad you're willing to write 4 him!! Ok so, Ik a lot of people didnt really like him in the first book(Also, I genuinly think you shoud read the novella "Unite me"-"Destroy me" to be precised since it contains 2 parts:Destroy me(Aarons pov and to be precised ) and Fracture me(Adam's pov).

Anyways, back to the request!! I REALLY loved Aaron in the fisrt 2 books(he was bacically a yandere bfr) and would really love it if you could do some hc for him(if possible ofc) or if you would like a scenario, here is the following one:

He was on a mission and got teleported to another world(like ours-Im gonna use she/her but if ur not doing female reader/darling then please ignore the pronounces I use!) and since he was hurt and all reader/darling helped him out by which I mean hosted him and helped him heal. A few days later they found the portal and he left but couldnt get her out of his mind and so he came back for her and she was like...no? I just randomly meet you while taking a stroll, I aint coming to your world or smth like that.

Anyways, if ur not willing to the headconons or scenario(ur choice) ur free to ignore this request!!

Also, if ur willing to do it, I do not mind waiting! Im honestly just so exited to finally see someone write yandere aaron(he is so underrated). Please, keep up the good work!

Btw, if somebody hasnt said this before to you, Imma say it bc somebody has to. I hope you have no cramps this cycle(I mean the ones who dont even let you get out of bed), you aint deserving them!

Please excuse me for yapping so much and my bad english since it is not my first language. Have a nice day/night/evening/morning/idk cheese and maks sure to drink enough water!

Also, here is another fanart bc yes:

DUDE I AM SO SORRY I mentally replied to this and forgot to... actually reply to this! I actually even brainstormed a whole idea based on what you wrote (I very much dig the whole isekai thing) but never actually got around to writing it ;; I've been super busy with college and work. I will definitely try to work on your request though! I think it'd be a fun challenge :) And thank you thank you your message was so sweet, I'm pretty sure it was evil uterus time when you sent me this and I did not get any cramps :33 And don't apologize! Your English is wonderful 🫶 So is your yapping, I am a yapper and I adore yappers.

[milarqui]

Scarlet Lady: Evillustrator

Directory - Kung Food

Marinette was surrounded by Stormy Weather and Lady Wifi! She looked around, but she couldn't find any way out!

“HELP!” she shouted.

“AHAHAHA!” both Akumas evilly laughed. No help would come to their future victim this time!

“HA!” a young man, wearing a striped shirt, thin pants, and a domino mask, laughed, landing next to the group.

“Super Nathan?!”

“Oh no!” the Akumas shouted, knowing that their defeat was now at hand.

And, indeed, as soon as Marinette managed to get away, Super Nathan encased the Akumas in an indestructible barrier, preventing them from doing more evil!

“NO!”

“Oh, Super Nathan!” a smiling Marinette said, rushing to hug her hero. “I love you!”

“Oh, it was nothing,” Super Nathan said, returning the hug of his beloved Marinette.

“You're amazing and totally write me in character!”

“Drawing in my class again?”

Nathaniel was suddenly pulled out of his daydream, as Mlle. Mendeleiev grabbed his notebook and shoot it up.

“Go show the principal your scribbles and see how he likes it!”

“S-Sorry,” he meekly apologized. Grabbing the notebook back, he morosely began to walk towards the door – but he was so deep in his own mind that he didn't see where he was stepping, and tripped over Mylène's bag.

“AH!” he shouted, as the contents of his bag began to spill – and his notebook flew away, only to get snatched by Chloé.

“Ooo, look Sabrina! He drew himself!” Chloé said in a mocking tone, loud enough to be heard everywhere in the classroom. “As a superhero, saving Marinette! He's totally crushing on her!”

“These are really good,” Sabrina noted, much to Chloé's confusion.

“What's with that reaction?” I'm trying to dish out some sick burns, and you just compliment this rubbish?

“GIVE THAT BACK!” Nathaniel shouted, and grabbed the notebook – but Chloé, either because she didn't have the time to move or out of pettiness, kept holding onto the last page he had drawn, and it got ripped.

Nathaniel's face when he saw Chloé had just ripped his drawing was very much out of place when it showed up.

“That's enough, Nathaniel, OUT!” Mlle. Mendeleiev ordered.

“Ooo, girl, you've got an admirer!” Alya said, while Marinette bashfully looked around.

“I–I guess! He didn't deserve to be outed like that, though,” Marinette replied.

Nino then began to hear the sound of something cracking just next to him, and looked down to see that Adrien had snapped his tablet pen, while he looked with way too much interest at Nathaniel. He thought he could actually see the daggers flying out of his friend's eyes.

I know you like Marinette, dude, but this much?

----

“Hm, isn't it rather early for this?”

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing,” he said, trying to dismiss the young boy's curiosity. He had just never thought about someone getting Akumatized this early in the day. “Oh, a Chloé Bourgeois grudge! Those are fun!

----

Class was about to be done, and honestly most of the class was eager for it. Mlle. Mendeleiev might know a lot of sciences, but she was a slavedriver when in the lab.

“Now, I'll be assigning groups for your physics reports,” she declared, just a few minutes before the end.

Everyone groaned. The reports for this class were always hard to deal with, because the teacher was very much willing to dock you points for minor details.

“Adrien, Nino, and Alya,” the teacher said, and the boys turned to each other, giving a fistbump.

“Awesome!” Adrien said.

“Lucky!” Nino replied.

“Ehh.” Alya was not so convinced about it.

“Sabrina, Chloé, and Marinette.”

Marinette promptly slammed her face on the table.

“Unlucky...”

This, she knew, was going to be a nightmare and a half.

----

The last class of the day, P.E., was done, and now Sabrina found herself in an issue.

“Forget it, Sabrina! I don't have time for some stupid report! I'm busy!”

Because Chloé, once more, was unwilling to do one iota of her share. Normally, she wouldn't have minded... but as of late she had realized that she shouldn't have to bow to Chloé's whims. Doing that for years had never been worth anything.

“That's what you always say!”

And perhaps it was time for a change.

“What's going on?” Marinette asked, approaching.

“None of your business!” Chloé yelled. Marinette just glared at her before turning to Sabrina.

“Chloé's trying to dump all the work on me again!”

“That's how it's always been!” Chloé yelled, and Sabrina also glared at her.

“Well, what's so important you can't help us?” Marinette asked, feeling at the edge of her patience.

“Like I said, none of your business, busybody!”

----

It wasn't as if they could understand the importance of her work, after all!

Storing all the pics people made of her as Paris' beloved heroine took hours!

----

“Don't forget, Sabrina!” Chloé continued, ignoring Marinette. “Not only am I your best friend, I'm your only friend!”

“That's not true!” Sabrina fired back. “Plenty of people have been there for me when you abandon me or exclude me or hit me! I do have friends!”

Nino and Rose, who had helped her back when Chloé struck her with her tablet.

Alix, who had defended her and got her to join the class during the photo.

Hell, Marinette herself, the one she had helped Chloé victimize, was more of a friend than Chloé!

“This class is kinder and more forgiving than you give them credit for, and I'm done letting you bad talk them!”

Sabrina attempted to tackle Chloé in a fit of rage, but Marinette quickly grabbed her by the underarms and pulled her away from a sweating Chloé.

“Oh-kay, we're gonna go calm down. Chloé, if you want your name on this project, meet us in the library in 5,” Marinette ordered.

----

Needless to say, with Chloé being involved, things didn't begin with a good start.

“Look, Sabrina! I bought a totally stylish Gabriel beret that I promise to lend you if you do my report.”

It was only a couple of minutes in, and Chloé had already missed the point of their previous discussion.

Sabrina, however, had not.

“You never keep your promises,” she accused, causing Chloé to face fault.

“Oh, c'mon!” she complained.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a giant hairdryer popped into existence, aiming at Chloé's head.

“What the f–” Chloé began, but then she realized that the hairdryer was somehow starting to blow hot air. So she turned and began to run, holding her hair in place, while the oversized device flew behind her. “Aahhhh! NO! MERCY! NOT MY HAIR!”

“HA!” Sabrina laughed. Schadenfraude was strong in her today.

Marinette ducked down and pulled Sabrina with her.

“Um so, wanna finish at my house?” Marinette asked.

“U-huh,” Sabrina agreed. Better not to get involved in whatever Chloé did to be attacked by an Akuma...

----

After hearing the other students about the giant hairdryer following Chloé, Adrien had transformed into Chat Noir as soon as he managed to sneak away. He could actually bet on who had been Akumatized this time, and, as jealous as he felt, he knew Nathaniel had good reasons to target Chloé.

“Things are getting pretty hairy!” he angrily shouted as he jumped at the giant hairdryer.

“Ugh, stop!” Chloé complained. Just like Scar, she didn't have a taste for good puns.

A strong hit with his baton, and the hairdryer peril was no more. Turning around, Chat Noir saw the Akumatized Nathaniel on the library's second floor, looking from behind the banister.

“Hey, you're looking pretty sketchy!” he said. Nathaniel grabbed his pencil and... somehow erased the wall behind him.

“Ugh, I don't have to sit here and put up with your puns,” he declared.

“Hey!” Seriously, two in a row? What was wrong with the world?

Regardless, Nathaniel jumped out of the library, going for wherever he wanted to go, and Chat Noir looked for Chloé... who was now sitting on a couch, acting as if nothing was wrong.

“So, Chloé, any idea why this 'artist' is after you?” he asked, even if he already knew the answer.

“Noooo! Everyone adores me!”

Chat Noir just gave her a deadpan look. Chloé stood up and grabbed his arm, while giving him a smile.

“So, Chat Noir, how good are you at Physics?” she asked. Chat Noir could see it coming a mile away.

“I'm not doing your homework for you,” he declared, seeing something on the table. It had to be the drawing Chloé had been mocking Nathaniel form, only that Chloé had added her 'special' touch by giving the Marinette in the drawing glasses, a moustache and a goatee.

“Then what are you good for?!” Chloé yelled. Just as ungrateful as always. “Just get out if you're gonna be useless!”

She sounded so much like Scar that he really got ticked off.

“You know what? Maybe I will.”

“Great! Best idea you've ever had!”

He didn't have to deal with this, so he jumped out of the window and began to follow any tracks left by the Akuma, while he called Scar.

“Hey, Scar, your so-called 'best friend' is being targeted, you might want to pretend to care for 5 minutes because I'm going to spend my time finding the Akuma,” he said, before hanging up.

----

She was going ahead with getting everything she and Sabrina would need for the project, when she heard something knocking on the window. She figured it was a bird, so she paid it no mind.

Wipe

That was definitely no bird. In fact, she didn't even know how to translate that sound, other than...

“Wipe?”

She turned, and was shocked when she saw the Akuma entering through a hole made in her window.

“Ah, it's you! From the library! What are you–?!”

“I... wanted to see you,” the Akuma said, and if she wasn't so scared, she would have thought he was being bashful.

“Uh, are you here to attack me?”

“No!” the Akuma actually sounded offended. “You're Marinette! You're beautiful and sweet and perfect! I could never hurt you!”

Just next to the Akuma's foot, she could see her trapdoor being lifted, and Sabrina was looking from below, just as scared.

She had to keep the Akuma's attention away from her!

“Wow! Um, that's very... flattering? Thank you.”

The Akuma smiled, and became bashful again.

“So, um. I wanted to ask you something...”

As it turned out, it was the Akuma's birthday – well, that of the boy that had been Akumatized – and he wanted to ask her out. He even pulled out a very artistic invitation card!

“Huh, this is good,” she said. “You know what? I will go to your birthday party!”

“Really?!” the Akuma happily said.

“If you promise not to hurt Chloé.” She may dislike Chloé, but she didn't want to see her injured.

“I promise! Meet me at the Pont de L'Archevêché near Notre-Dame at sunset!”

“S-See you there!” she said, and the Akuma jumped out of the window. That was when Sabrina finally came in.

“Marinette, omigosh!” she said, surprised by everything she had witnessed. “What are you gonna do?!”

“First, I need to figure out how to contact Chat Noir.”

“Marinette, I saw the Akuma fly out your window, are you okay?!”

She blinked.

“Oh, awesome!” Well, that was fast. Remembering her manners, she turned to her classmate. “Chat Noir, this is my friend Sabrina.”

“I remember! You helped when Mylène was Akumatized,” Chat Noir said, and Sabrina just sparkled in joy.

“Omigosh, you do?! I can't believe a superhero knows my name! And you're in Marinette's room!”

Chat Noir scratched the back of his head, and Marinette thought he looked adorable.

“Heheh, well...” he said, “Marinette has experience punching Akumas in the face.”

“I do not!” she tried to deny.

“Oh, that's why you agreed to a date with an Akuma!” Sabrina said. Chat Noir's expression turned thunderous.

“WHAT.”

“I was gonna call you!” Marinette promised. “Somehow...”

----

The two of them tried to do as much work as possible for the project, but soon enough Marinette realized she would have to begin rushing through getting ready for the birthday party. Chat Noir had actually been a sport about it, although Marinette had detected some ugly signs of something about all of this.

Marinette accompanied Sabrina to the entrance.

“Sorry about that, Sabrina,” she apologized.

“It's okay! We got a lot done and I got to meet Chat Noir!” Sabrina cheered. “Day 1 of No Chloé is already amazing!”

----

“HA-CHOOO!”

Great, not only did she have to do her work instead of leaving it in Sabrina's hands, as it should have been, now her nose was leaking.

“This day is ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous!” she shouted, silently picking the handkerchief Tikki was bringing her.

----

Alix looked around for her friend, but couldn't see him anywhere. She did manage to see Kim and Max, though: they were meant to be in the same group, so maybe they had seen him?

“Have you guys seen Nathaniel?” she asked them. “He was supposed to come to my place after school.”

“Not since this morning,” Kim said, apologetically.

“Great. Awesome. Perfect,” she groaned, wondering what the hell had held Nathaniel up.

They were meant to be celebrating his birthday, damnit!

----

“That's quite the charming scene you're drawing, but don't lose sight of your objective, friend.”

Evillustrator nodded.

“Romancing Marinette.”

“Incorrect!” Hawkmoth said, annoyed, but he paid him no mind.

“Hey!” a female voice said, and he looked at the source. “Bon anniversaire!”

“Marinette!” She looked so lovely, so wonderful!

----

Chat Noir glared at the scene below.

Marinette was wearing a beret, a jacket over a short dress, leggins under the boots, and her hair held up in two tresses instead of the usual pigtails.

Marinette was always beautiful, but right now...

Dammit, she looks cute! Totally wasted on this guy!

Why couldn't it be him down there instead of the Akuma?

----

“This looks amazing!” Marinette said. The Akuma invited her to his boat and to sit on the bench in the middle, which swayed slowly over the Seine's current. She had to admit it looked romantic, but she would have preferred if it were Chat Noir someone else sitting where the Akuma was. As she watched the Akuma paint musical notes that floated in the air, she went ahead with her question. “So, why is this the first I've heard about your birthday?”

“Huh?” the Akuma absent-mindedly asked, still painting on his tablet.

“You are Nathaniel, aren't you?”

“It's Evillustrator now. I don't like all the attention, so I only tell a few people. Like Alix. And you!” Evillustrator said. “You kept your promise, so I'll keep mine. And I always keep my promises!”

----

“This moron really over here blowing off our birthday plans?” Alix said, groaning into her pillow. “Where the heck are you, Nath?”

----

Now was the moment of truth. She knew it was a risky move, but she and Chat Noir had agreed on the plan, and if she did things right, Nathaniel would be freed soon.

“Maybe I could draw you something?” she suggested, reaching out for the stylus.

She ignored Chat Noir's glare from behind her.

“That'd be awesome!” Evillustrator replied, allowing her to pick the tool.

“NOW!” she shouted, and jumped off the bench as Chat Noir extended his baton, blocking Evillustrator.

“What?!” the Akuma exclaimed, shocked.

“Marinette!” Chat Noir shouted, urging her to run.

“Laughing and mocking me?! Betraying me?!” Evillustrator said, clearly feeling hurt. “You're just like Chloé!”

She knew she should jump off the boat. Keep the stylus away from Evillustrator. Stay away as Chat Noir immobilized him until Scarlet Lady could bother with moving her butt off her La-Z-Boy chair and at least come purify the butterfly and fix everything.

But that comparison cracked something in her mind.

In the blink of an eye, she was looming over Evillustrator, who looked like he was really scared out of his mind.

“O-ho! Care to repeat that?” she said, almost ready to stab him with the stylus.

“EEP!” Evillustrator said.

----

Tikki was not surprised.

Not anymore.

Not that it didn't make her feel angry.

“Don't you have an Akuma to deal with?” she asked.

“Uh, I have a physics project to ignore?” Chloé answered, reading Paris Match, which had Adrien as its cover. “The cat boy will ring me when he catches the stupid thing.”

----

Then, everything went wrong.

Evillustrator managed to kick Chat Noir's baton and hit her, and she lost the stylus in the process.

When Chat Noir shrunk his baton and jumped to attack, Evillustrator grabbed his stylus and managed to create a barrier in the shape of a box, trapping him inside, and then brought it down so it trapped both of them together.

“AH!”

“HA!”

And then, he used his power to erase a hole into the ship.

“I'm taking back my promise! Chloé's getting a lesson she'll never forget!” Evillustrator announced before jumping off the boat, leaving the two of them behind.

Marinette realized she had screwed up. That moment of weakness had cost them their best chance of stopping Evillustrator before it was too late. And now... Chat Noir looked like he was at the edge of a nervous breakdown, holding his baton as if to keep the walls from closing in.

“Calm down, Chat Noir!” she tried to help. “Extend your baton upwards!”

“You calm down! This psycho trapped us in a box and left us to drown! Does the air feel thin to you?!”

“Ho-kay! That's a lot to unpack,” she replied. Was Chat Noir claustrophobic?

With a bit of a struggle, she managed to coax her hero into moving the baton as instructed, and when he extended it they were propelled upwards, pushing the box away and allowing them to get back to safe land, while the boat Evillustrator had created began to sink.

“Thanks, Chat Noir!” she said, cheering. “Now you can–”

And then Chat Noir gave her a bear hug, much to her surprise.

“Chat, wha–?” she tried to ask, but Chat Noir interrupted her.

“Too close. That was way too close! I almost lost you again! I can't –”

He sounded so pained. So hurt. So scared.

As he slowly let go, and moved his hands from her back to her face, she looked into his eyes, and she saw, for probably the first time ever, that Chat Noir was actually afraid.

“Chat Noir?” she tried to say, because that sight scared her more than anything she had seen. Yes, even more than what she had gone through when Stoneheart kidnapped her.

“Please, Marinette. Promise me.”

And then he said three words that stabbed her heart like an icicle.

“No more Akumas.”

She wanted to say no. She wanted to keep helping. She wanted to help keep him safe!

But... she couldn't bear to see that pain in his eyes any more.

She knew he was asking this for her own safety.

And, as painful as it was...

“I... I'll try.”

“Thank you.”

… she promised.

----

After making sure she was alright, Chat Noir ran for Le Grand Paris, which was obviously Evillustrator's next target, and Marinette just watched him go.

“Chat Noir...”

“You two mean a lot to each other.”

She shook up as a gentle voice spoke behind her.

“Ah! You startled me!”

The voice belonged to a man of Chinese ancestry, with brown hair, a moustache and goatee, and a jacket and trousers of good quality. There was something about him that prickled at the edge of her memory, but she wasn't sure what.

“It can't be easy, being in love with a superhero.”

“'Love'?! No, I'm not in love with–!”

Then she realized it.

The feeling of his arms around her.

His cheerfulness whenever they spoke.

The beating of her heart when he smiled at her.

The fun they had back when M. Pigeon struck.

How they had worked together when she was Maotif.

Every time he called her 'my Princess'.

Every time he kissed her hand.

The day they met, at the Parc des Princes.

The day he clutched her from the jaws of death, at the Eiffel Tower.

He...

“Oh.”

He was her Chat Noir.

She was in love with Chat Noir.

“OH.”

The shock of this epiphany made her already present blush spread, and forced her to sit down, as she dealt with it all, by pushing her face into her legs, trying to hide both her blush and her tears.

“NonononoNO! I can't be in love with Chat Noir!” she yelled, begged, actually.

“Why not?” the gentle old man asked, as he sat next to her, and she looked at him, crying her heart out.

“Because! That'll make me want to help him more and I just promised I wouldn't!” she said, feeling herself break in pieces. The old man smiled. “I don't want to stress him out because I love him, but I can't leave him to depend on his useless partner because I love him!”

“Why don't I walk you home?” the man suggested, but she shook her head.

“Excuse me, I'm not done spiraling.”

----

It looked like Chloé was finally going to start doing something, but instead she just went on to plan how to excuse not doing her work. Again.

“Chloé, your teacher is never gonna buy your 'traumatized by hairdryers' excuse,” she pointed out, exasperated.

“You're right. An army of hairdryers couldn't dull my beauty.”

And, as always, Chloé completely missed the point of her comments.

That was when the door handles began to jiggle.

“What was that?” Chloé asked.

“I'll check,” she offered. Phasing through the wall, she stealthily made her way to a place where she would be able to see what was going on at the door. Seeing a familiar face, she promptly turned around. “It's the Akuma.”

“Fine, you know the drill.”

----

Evillustrator chose to stop trying to open the door by hand and resorted to his stylus, erasing the door.

“Chloé~ Where are you~?” he sing-sang, looking around for his target.

“Not here, freak!”

“Hey!” Evillustrator said, just barely dodging the polka-dotted yo-yo as it passed by his head.

“Oh, you decided to show up, Scar!” Chat Noir said in a disbelieving tone.

“Obviously!” Scarlet Lady said. “My best friend, Chloé Bourgeois, was in danger!”

“Is that why you almost let her become soup last week?” Chat Noir asked, piercing like a rapier sword.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” Scarlet Lady tried to cover up.

Evillustrator decided to act now. The sooner he got that stuff Hawkmoth wanted off them, the sooner he'd be able to find Chloé and get his revenge.

“If you knew anything about Chloé, you wouldn't defend her!”

“Rude!” Scarlet Lady exclaimed, as he sent a pair of giant boxing gloves at them.

Chat Noir whacked the gloves off, destroying them, and turned to Evillustrator.

Bearing the visage of a true predator, growling less like a cat and more like a lion, eager to shed the blood of the one that had threatened his mate.

Despite himself, Evillustrator flinched.

----

As he dealt with the Akuma's illusions, Scar summoned the Lucky Charm.

“Another useless, mundane object,” she complained. Chat Noir looked and saw it was a bouncy ball, with the same colors as every other Lucky Charm that had been summoned, and he knew what to do.

“GIMME THAT!” he shouted, snatching the ball off Scar's hand.

“HEY!” she complained. He didn't care.

And, as he readied his shot, he poured his rage into it.

This Akuma had put him in the box, and that made him angry.

But he had tried to kill Marinette.

The one safe port in the shitstorm that was his life.

The girl he loved more than himself.

Evillustrator made him furious.

He fired the ball.

“AGH!”

He hit him straight in the face, and he dropped the stylus, which broke when it fell to the floor, freeing the butterfly.

And, as the costume covering Evillustrator vanished, restoring Nathaniel, the tablet had the time for one last message before vanishing.

K.O.

He took a deep breath. He couldn't take his anger for the Akuma on Nathaniel, whose only 'sin' had been to like Marinette and to be embarrassed by Chloé ripping his drawing.

“... yaaaaay, we won,” Scar commented.

----

The next day was meant to be like any other day, but being the aftermath of not just an Akuma attack, but one that had ended hitting her close, Marinette knew it wouldn't be a normal day.

Which was proven when she arrived to school.

“So, what happened when the Akuma got there?” Alya asked, filming Chloé, since she had been the victim (and cause, not that the latter would ever admit it) of Evillustrator.

“Well, Scarlet Lady handled it perfectly while Chat Noir wrecked my room!”

“Geez,” she muttered, angry. She knew what that meant in Chloé-speak: Scarlet Lady did nothing while Chat Noir stopped the Akuma, and then the former just took all the credit.

“Hey, Marinette,” Adrien said, closing her locker door.

“AH! ADRIEN!” she yelled, putting her hand over her bumping heart, trying to calm down. “You scared me! How'd you sneak up on me like that!?”

“I have my ways,” he said, smiling. She closed her eyes halfway.

“... were you hiding in that locker?” she asked, suspicious.

“... noooo?” he answered, looking aside. Marinette wasn't fooled at all.

“Omigod, you were.”

----

Adrien decided he had to switch the conversation before Marinette began to think him a fool.

“So, I hear you had another Chat Noir encounter~” he said. Marinette was usually full of praise for his hero identity, so maybe he could find how she felt after yesterday's events.

“Yeah! It sucked!” she replied, beginning to cry.

That was not what he was expecting.

“Oh God! Why?!”

“I promised to stay out of Akuma fights!” she said between sobs.

Oh, crap, he had to fix this somehow!

“Isn't that a good thing?!”

“No cuz now Chat Noir has no one to rely on because Scarlet Lady is the worst!”

Oh, great, he had made her sad! Bad Adrien!

He gently pulled her into his arms and patted her head, trying to calm her down.

“I'm sure he appreciates your sacrifice,” he said, but that didn't seem to convince the still grumbling Marinette.

Welp, he would enjoy it as best as he could. Hopefully, she would see things his way.

----

Nathaniel watched Adrien console Marinette from afar. He didn't know what the hell had happened yesterday, but hopefully he had done nothing wrong.

“You're not gonna talk to her?”

“AH!”

“Well?” Sabrina asked, giving him a small smile.

“I'm... worried I might've hurt her,” he confessed.

“You were pretty calm for an Akuma. From what I saw,” Sabrina calmed him down.

“Really?”

“Yes, you very calmly asked Marinette out to your birthday party, alone, just the two of you,” she teased him.

He dropped to the ground and covered up his burning face.

“Ughhhh, leave me here to die,” he begged, embarrassed.

“Nathaniel!” someone else shouted, yanking his scarf.

“AH! Why does this keep happening?!”

“Where the hell were you?!” Alix angrily asked. “You ditch me and then don't answer any of my texts?!”

“Alix, I was an Akuma,” he explained.

“Ooooh!” She offered a fist bump, which he answered to. “Welcome to the Birthday Akuma Club!”

“You guys need therapy,” Sabrina noted, going to her locker to put her things in.

“Sabrina~!” Chloé said, suddenly appearing with the beret from yesterday in hand. “I'm sure you've heard of the trauma I had to endure. You understand I couldn't possibly work on the project!”

Seeing it for a white flag, Sabrina accepted the beret and decided to give her another opportunity.

“Alright, alright. You did have a hard time, I guess.”

She ignored Chloé palming the eyedropper out of eyesight.

“I knew you'd understand,” Chloé said, and she hugged the beret.

“But this is the last chance, Chloé,” she stated.

“Yeah, sure, whatever!” Chloé replied.

Somewhere in her inside, she knew that Chloé would waste it. She didn't know how, why, or when... but she was going to throw her last chance to the dustbin.

----

“Hmm... the Ox may be hard for a teenager to hide,” Fu noted, observing the open Miraculous Box. Those two empty holes, belonging to the Butterfly and the Peacock, hurt, but nothing could be done yet. Not until Hawkmoth was finally found.

“You're sure about this, Master?” Wayzz, his faithful companion, asked.

“I understand your concern after the last time, Wayzz, but I am certain now,” he replied. “She's proven several times that she has the makings of a hero.”

“Okay...” Wayzz accepted, before giving him a look. “You're not going to put it in her purse again, are you?”

“NO!”

----

Vanisher

@zoe-oneesama Hoping I made honor to the scene where Chat Noir asks Marinette to stop risking her life.

Also, end of Season 2, just before Gorizilla ended! Only 26 episodes away from reaching the comics!

Hope you guys liked this, because, remember, next chapter is the debut of our favourite heroine!

[yanteetle]

I remember once I've read this joke somewhere

A: Cutting off your leg or wifi?

B: NO WAY I'M LIVING WITHOUT MY LEG! I walk with it!.. and with wifi I....

B: ...

B: Leg it is

And like- reminds me of if I was with Yan Donnie

Like- dude don't take away wifi, I'll won't escape please don't take it away- you're free to supervise it and etc just let me have it-

And my phone (I draw and play there-)

He kinda has a thing on April's phone that protects her, it is seen in the episode where Hypno made his own game and Donnie's notification didn't let her download it

(Knowing my personality there is a chance I'll get Donnie as a yan 😭)

(Second option is Raph) (Not me casually thinking: Hm, considering my personality, who would be my yandere out of turtles?)

(Btw, who do you think will be yours?)

- 👾

OOOKAY... so. Funny thing, I love the joke btw! I relate to it a lot unsurprisingly. So uh. The weird thing about me and the yan!Turtles? I can't imagine them ever possibly liking or caring about me enough to ever abduct me or kill others for me. I just can't. I can't imagine getting ANY of the turtles as a yandere, not even Raph! And just so you know, I've checked that our personality types are really compatible too! But no, I can't think of them as people who would actively try to seek me out or kidnap me. I usually project those thoughts onto y/n.

Y/n is my little plaything, my little doll that I get to put through immense torture and pain. Which is kind of why I love drawing y/n in compromising situations, or with very extreme, scared expressions. I like seeing this grey humanoid figure suffering. And that's also partly why I tend to avoid giving ideas or scenarios where y/n could get the upper hand. I like them to be the victim. Its just... Fun somehow.

But in a nutshell, I can't see the turtles being yanderes for me, and I tend to 'work alongside them' to torture y/n in fun, evil and debaucherous ways. Sorry if I sound weird or sadistic or anything! I promise I'm much more civilized normally, it's just that I'm rather excited to express my real feelings about yanderes and how I feel about y/n in general :)) Have a nice day btw! Thanks for sending this lovely ask in ❤️