#//ok this got long jesus- | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gas-stxtion-a · 2 years ago

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//sorry i haven't been working on replies lately! you see, it's because [mid-sentence i slowly lie down on the floor and start crying really hard. i do not finish my explanation]

#you know this whole thing is one big experiment‚ right? and you're the little mouse? {ooc}#//feel free not to read the tags b/c i'm gonna scream a bit #//moved in last week and already we may end up with two more people in this apartment #//bc two of my roommate's partners both need a place to stay #//and like with the one we've had some time to talk and prepare #//but with the other it's like oh ok she's moving in this weekend. non-negotiable huh. ok #//i want to scream cry and throw up lmao i am not emotionally prepared for there to be four people here #//especially b/c i don't know either of them suuuuper well just yet #//and rn i'm doing the bulk of the cleaning in the apartment which i don't mind! because i'm happy to help!#//roommate has a lot of other stuff she's worrying about and i understand and want to take the load off #//but i think if i see one more dirty pot i might start crying #//which as we all know is a normal reaction #//(that's sarcasm if that's not clear)#//i know i need to say something and insist on better communication #//because this is not malicious on my roommate's part. i know that. it's just a miscommunication #//anyway yeah i keep mentally coming back to the fact that my room isn't even fully unpacked yet lmao #//bc now we gotta get shit together to make sure everyone has somewhere to sleep n such #//and yes it's bc i haven't asked for help. i am aware. that's on me #//but damn.#//ok this got long jesus-#//if you read this i am giving you a high five but if not i understand lmfao #vent cw #negative cw

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triple-pupil · 2 years ago

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Gay people.

#No context given #Ok I'll give it #I got obsessed with chilean show #31 minutos #Because of that one hour long video essay an american made #Thanks Melody #tudoque #juan carlos bodoque #tulio triviño #tulio triviño x juan carlos bodoque #juan carlos bodoque x tulio triviño #This is the only fluff I will ever make of them #and maybe the only time I paint Tulio because jesus #my shit #redtie 31 minutos

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milfygerard · 8 months ago

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ill be honest. I dont really like American Idiot (2004)

#barry.txt #it insists upon itself #i was talking w a friend abt it at dinner and i realized i never bothered to finish the album #the non singles were kinda boring!#the politics were underwhelming the theatrics were certainly no black parade #holiday is good boulevard is ok wake me up is great #american idiot is still kinda fun #i never understood jesus of suburbia it just felt like a really REALLY long green day song #or like 4 green day songs shmushed together #i dont think i ever finished the album? i got bored #i habe gotten my ass thrashed for green day hate in the past but i MUST live my truth also i am so tired

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nowendil · 4 months ago

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#sorry to vent post yet again the pms is pms-ing. i am ultimately in the end ok and this too shall pass etc #cw pet death #UNNA IS FINE no worries #i just. i just really miss Pulmu. my baby my sweet old lady. jesus fucking christ #i just. idk i still hold a lot of regret over her last months. i loved her so much I DID but no amount of love #and money and guilt and open mouth sobbing could make her not Old and Sick.#i just refused to see that because i wanted her to be alright so badly #i feel so bad about letting my feelings go over her comfort. i'm so sorry baby i shouldnt have hung on to you as long as i did #of i could change one thing about the whole of world's history it would be that. so you wouldnt have to die scared in a hospital #but i cant do that. i just have to live with the memory #usually i try not to be too hard on myself about it. first of all because beating myself up about it doesnt change anything #and also because i recognize that i was profoundly mentally ill about the whole thing. (not joking)#like i genuinely dont think i have ever felt and been worse than i did when Pulmu was old and sick. i wasnt thinking clearly.#i should have been but i wasnt.#it has been 1 year and about 8 months since her passing and still sometimes i dont know what the hell to do with all that grief #some days i'm completely fine and i can talk about her without problems. and some days i sob into my pillow feeling like i just got shot #ah well. nothing to it but to keep on trucking #i hope she's fine wherever she is.

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realnielsbohr · 6 months ago

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i hate being stressed about like. things that are actually stressful. normally i could be like "all is well 😌it will be ok no matter what" or whatever but i genuinely cant do that here. if i dont get this sorted out im genuinely fucked

#i dont know how much ive said here but im going to try and be as vague as possible so i dont like. accidentally dox myself or w/e #but anyways i got a VERY GOOD tuition scholarship outside of my college. i go to one of the cheaper schools in the area i go to school in #so it covers all of it #awesome right?#SHOULD BE. if my college didnt fucking DELETE the form somehow. fucking hello.#the scholarship emailed them. and then they DELETED IT.#and ON TOP OF THAT!#i had extra bullshit fees unpaid i had no idea about.#so i was almost not even cleared for move in.#that got fixed. but now i have to call fifty billion people and fix this problem #so i can. go to school and not go into debt #plus. ok. the scholarships i get from school are genuinely pretty good. but they split it up b/w room and board and tuition #so i need to see if they can move stuff around somehow bc i shouldnt need the tuition money anymore #and between that money from school. the other scholarships i get from school. the outside scholarships i have.#AND THE ONE THAT WOULD COVER MY TUITION.#i could go to school for basically free and not go into insane debt.#which is awesome. but if i cant get this one thing figured out! i cant!#and i move in IN TWO WEEKS. SO I HAVE NOT THAT LONG TO FIX THIS. YAYY #anyways fucking wish me luck im going to be calling a lot of people tomorrow. and next week.#thank u for the complaining sesh tumblr dot com blog that is my diary.#it should be ok it should work out but jesus christ its going to be bad if it doesnt.#personal

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misdre · 7 months ago

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my god!!!! i've been reconnecting with the anime nerd inside myself lately that i kind of lost like uhh during the covid times actually?? i don't think those two things are related but it just happened like that. but this year i started going to cons again and since then have been slowly getting back to that world and it's really kind of a bizarre feeling to unearth so many memories and like "oh yeah i was really invested in this thing and VA too. and this OP/ED song. and this and this series that people these days prob haven't heard of. also this obscure thing people didn't know even back when it aired. and first i hated this VA but then i started liking him 5 years later. and this character and this ship and"

bro! this is a mindfuck but a good one, it like, sends me into another dimension where i remember things are sparkly and kawaii again. i have no idea how my teenager/20yo self in particular had time and energy to be into so many things but good for her. now i can just kind of look back fondly

....and focus on the things i have energy for now as present me. which means going ballistic over aya hisakawa and ai orikasa all over again

#ok seiyuu rambling in the tags for a sec because there will be like one person who understands what im talking about #my obsessions totally stalled when i got into beyblade because reimax took over my brain cells but before THAT #jesus christ i had many that i'd forgotten about!#i think the first one was marina inoue who was apparently my gay awakening to really really liking otokoyaku so women voicing boys #i really really loved her as kanmuri in yakitate japan. this is so obscure? don't ask me seriously just don't #then i had a really long obsession with mitsuki saiga....i think because of wolfram in kyou kara maou originally #then i got really into kuroshitsuji......maaya sakamoto.#then......... well it was men for a while then like kishou taniyama #then of course in my hunter x hunter phase RABID about megumi han and mariya ise #and erm then i found beyblade and lost my remaining brain cells. they haven't returned yet #my big thing always was collecting songs from whoever i was in love with so my seiyuu music collections are......sizeable.

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago

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#just an observation bc im avoiding working on stuff but i draw a lot and post basically everything i draw thst gets finished #and its v funny to me how u can tell how out of focus i was based on the quality of the drawing #or like when i post something and its like ok some of that was good but u def gave up halfway thru one of those lol #inconsistency i funny like that. its also funny to me that now a days i get comments like COLORS!!!#which is funny bc i notoriously haaaaaate coloring. like i will sit around whining and complaining when im home with my parents bc i dont #wanna color. its just so easy to fuck things up when u draw traditionally and it takes a million years so its a big ask lol #but i guess i dont hate is so much right now bc i kinda just slap whatever colors i want together like fuck it we ball #and thats kinda fun. reckless i suppose #its agony when u wanna try to do shadows and lights tho. like finding references ugh #or wanting to draw big ideas but then its like oh god its gonna take so long and if i dont do it all in one sitting i might die #im a lil better abt thst now bc it would b impossible but in my head i still hate it #ugh. all i wanna do is draw. theres another universe where i went to art school. or just like took art classes. and i wanna say id b happier #but thats def a lie XD i like learning too much and i dont have the attention span to hardcore learn genetics outside an academic #environment. and i got way too excited abt exploring the genetic traits of my cyano species #like i can make genetics trees for traits and look for. fuck. i forgot the word. how tf did i forget the word. oh god. horizontal gene #transfer. jesus christ its like theres a hole in my brain. well. i guess i did get only like 4hrs sleep. ugh im rambling.#i need to finish getting ready for Monday so i dont have to tomorrow and ill have time to draw. prob wont stop me feeling nauseous abt #teaching tho. OH FUCK. i just remembered i have a new office space now to decorate. fuck i need to hang up pictures and stuff #what would b the funniest way to put narut0 on my deskspace? idk ill have to think abt it. oh god im not ready #my head is like a handbell. one of the big ones when u ring it and it hits soft and u can feel the vibrations. someones wrung my head lol #unrelated

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todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago

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Okay stream over and as such no one is safe anymore from my RGGJoposting (sorry in advance), HOWEVER I did want to say...

Of course Mine Himself At Present is the furthest thing from punk, but I believe the reason he has that belt is a nod to Nakamura, who is credited with bringing punk influences to the kabuki scene. (This particular photo was taken years after Y3, but...)

By the way, Nakamura is how I found out there's a lot of stigma against sons of kabuki actors who choose to play roles of a different gender than their fathers. He comes from an established line of onnagata, so it was a big deal for him to choose to play male roles.

Arakawa was a taishu engeki actor rather than a kabuki actor, which is less steeped in tradition than kabuki, so I don't know if it would've been the same for him doing the opposite to Nakamura. But it's Neat to think of it as a concerted choice for him in terms of feeling that strong of a connection to femininity.

oh fuck yeah punk in the kabuki world WORD UP TO THE LEGEND.....

#snap chats #tumblr told me to suck a dick and deleted my response THANKS ASSHOLE #i feel suddenly feel like really sick and tired like oh god what the fuck was in teh chicken my bro got me for lunch heeUGUH #i will muster up my strength to respond tho. god no i feel really sick i gotta hurl but i wont #in any case... i love learning #i wish i could say more but thats all i can say ive always been more of a listener than a speaker #what the ufck was in that shicken oh my fucking god #great to have yo in the inbox. ALWAYS happy to see yo in teh inbox even if im a dumbass soemtimes and words fail me #like right now like how my organs are failing me jesus lord #i will try to speak.. i can see peop #ok no i cant i dont hve the brain capacity right now forgive me #the enviroment surrounding 'cross dressing' in theater is. a topic #a topic im too stupid and sick for BUT IT IS ONE.#i know men would play as women in western plays since women werent allowed to act for a long ass while #uhhh wht am i tryig to say #oh like. like the role is 'necessary' like men would need to play women cause we aint got women #but that doesnt mean its a 'respectable' position #do we get what im sayig ?? good god i hope so. im dying.#first it was too cold now im too warm but i cant tell if thats from shame my house or the hoodie i put on #ok my head hurt BYE #soryr im stupid

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ncityzen · 2 years ago

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Had to call an ambulance for one of my co-workers today, I'm still a bit shaken tbh

#nothing too alarming she was just feeling very dizzy and nauseous and not improving #but i was alone with her for a long while not really knowing what to do and jesus was that stressful #she's so sweet as well i feel really bad for her and she texted me of all people to come and help her i just :(((((((((#thankfully someone got in the ambulance with her #she's this sweet middle-aged korean woman who doesn't have a partner or anything so i just hope she's ok now #I'm gonna buy her a gift tomorrow or something i feel very useless #erola.txt #(it's relevant that she's korean because we're in the uk and english is not her first language and some people were a bit weird tbh)

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narke · 1 year ago

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was super obvious about my crush today but i did get a sweet failed hip bump sweep to successful scissor sweep to failed cross collar choke to failed arm triangle to failed s mount armbar to mounted triangle to roll to traditional triangle finish

#ok so its like a super long convoluted story to basically say i was kind of weird and blushy but probably ultimately not that noticeably so #but we were doing hip bump sweep setup drills and there were odd numbers so he went with me and anyways halfway through the ‘this is kind of #like missionary and our crotches are kind of thrusting together’ thoughts hit and i got kind of blushy and distracted and quietly went to jo #in a training partnership and left him to coach #but he bantered with me about dua lipas levitating so probably not noticeably weirder than i usually am woth him #he did do a kind of sing songy? flirty? (lying to myself) ‘thanks [name]~’ at the end of class so who knows #JOIN. NOT JO. jesus christ #well in other news someone complimented my guard recovery skills hehe

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kissmehardy · 2 years ago

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New law that anyone who works in an office cant have an opinion on my job because they fundamentally cant understand what im doing

#sorry if youre proud about sacrificing your dreams for a paycheck you cant tell me what im not doing isnt worth it bc its in your opinion a #poor roi #like fucking maybe but also maybe not everyone needs to sell their soul maybe youre just bitter that you are #stuck in middle management business hell #oh you got a job? *pulls out calculator* doesnt look like it will be worth it in the long run though #like fuck off youre the one getting an online business phd asshole #stop tell me to work in hr stop it stop it stop it stop it #stop telling me to get a sales job fucking stop i mean it when i say i will kill myself first #god why is everyone on earth so business pilled there are more life paths out there i promise i PROMISE #maybe you wont make 100k a year but fuck you might be free #sorry i would rather travel the country and excavate human remains?? walk through the woods the mountains the swamps?!#do something meaningful like preserve archaeological resources and not make a ceo money?? you have one life and you look down on me for not #dedicating mine to making a ceo money????#sorry i would rather enjoy my job and life??#i dont fucking understand why when i hit 25 suddenly EVERYONE is like ok but youre too old for dreams time to work in hr #fucking excuse me?? so the plan is tell kids to undergrads to follow their dreams and as they obtain them tell them that was stupid are you #kidding me??#im fucking losing my mind i fucking hate you all just bc its not a nine to five doesnt mean its not viable #in fact its MORE viable i got the first fucking job i applied to!!! how many fucking people get the first hr job they apply to jesus christ #no i will actually go into data analysis and get 300 rejections bc i have zero background in it good fucking plan #yall im so mad #pulling out a calculator immediately to tell me my choice is bad fuck off

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batemanofficial · 2 years ago

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i saw a tiktok today of somebody's rewritten version of the countdown song and im near inconsolable about it :( it's also stuck in my head so ive been humming end-times-y hymns all day

#speak friend and enter #it was by @emhahee on tiktok if you wanna look it up it's sooo good #religious trauma still got hands ig :( doesn't help that i had to go back to church last sunday bc my grandma was in town #having been away for so long makes it all the more jarring to hear how blasé they are about militant evangelism which is. scary #like they tell people to go out and essentially swindle people into coming to church like it's the most normal thing in the world #and then they turn around and wonder why nobody wants to come! like idk! maybe it's the whole bait-and-switch routine #like idk about you but when i make friends i do it to connect w people not to rope them into coming to church so i can get jesus points #to me that's almost more insidious than the 'you're the enemy and you're gonna get smote by the light of his countenance'#like with that i can go 'ok sure pop pop that's great' but with everything else it's just so. slimy idk #like every interaction i have w those people has like six layers of ulterior motivations and i just. eugh

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tirednotflirting · 2 years ago

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#basically have just been trying to like? stay afloat and move vaguely in the direction of where i want to take my life since graduating at #the height of covid #and i started finding an industry i think would be Very cool to work in #AND could be like. a long term career path but i saw absolutely no way in #it felt/still feels very unattainable w the background j have #but now i’ve got someone who i like. barely work w advocating for me to learn more about things and offering to mentor and it just? feels #very fake like idk what’s even going on #i’m rlly not used to people seeing potential like that in me it’s a wild feeling #anyway i’m setting up another meeting to talk w someone about another position and i just? the imposter syndrome is very real #will i ever stop job hopping jesus christ #ok bye

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago

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