#and then the worst panic attack of my life (so far) after because I felt so guilty about needing her to understand my needs

[concoulor]

still upset about my friend breaking up with me & that happened almost 2 years ago now

[probablyintensemuses]

Dating Armando Aretas Would Include:

Grumpy x Sunshine Edition

🎧- Enchanted: Taylor Swift

pairing: Armando Aretas x black fem! reader

themes: grumpy x sunshine w/drabble

warnings: mentions of trauma & abuse, strong language, and a bit of gore.

authors note: I saw Bad Boys 4 again last night and it’s really refueled my Armando obsession, so more headcannons, drabbles, and fics on the way.

✨First Encounters✨

You and Armando meet in the worst of circumstances.

He, his father, and Marcus were on the run as wanted men, and you were the first person Mike thought to turn to after the attack at Tabatha’s.

Which he wasn’t wrong, you’d give your left kidney to Mike he’s saved you so many times.

You had let them into your small apartment, offering them clothes, food, and shelter until they could get in touch with the rest of the Ammo team and sort this shit out.

Armando had taken an interest to you then. Your house was warm and cozy, lived in. A small, plush couch, next to a coffee table littered with medical books. A kitchen stacked with teas and espressos , a dresser with vintage vinyls and a record player beside it. This was the kind of house he’d like to live in if he lead a different life.

You remember walking over to him, a picture of your parents and you when you were young in his hands.

“Those are my parents,’ you say. “I was ten then.”

Armando’s gruff exterior takes over though, and he doesn’t give you as much as a word back, let alone a thank you for feeding and housing literal fugitives.

You figured it was just him though and let it roll off you back like water.

You all got some sleep and the next day Mike asks you to drive them out to Dorn’s house on the dock. You agree and begin to load up the truck with guns, water, food, and extra clothes for the drive.

This is when Armando starts to question who you are and the legitimacy of your actions. Last person Mike trusted fucked them over, and he wasn’t having that shit again.

So he pulls his father aside and confronts him on the situation: you.

“How can we trust her?” Armando says, not far out of earshot of you.

“She’s good for it, trust me.”

“Didn’t you say that the last time and we got sold out. Don’t forget there is fucking five million dollar bounty on our heads. We can’t trust no one!” He whisper-shouted.

Mikes shoulders dropped. “I saved her life when she was younger, and I used to work with her parents. Trust me, she’s not going to pull a fast one. Because if she was, she would have done it already.”

Armando looked over at you, you’re dressed in a tank top, and that’s when he notices the cuts and burns littering your left arm. He sucks in a deep breath eyeing Mike who looks at you with sympathy too. There’s a story there, he’ll piece it together later, but for now he guesses you’re his only hope of getting out alive.

✨Post-fallout ✨

After you didn’t screw them over, and got them safety to Dorn’s, Armando found himself limping towards your apartment, blood trailing behind his feet.

Mike had sent him, and for some reason, at that moment, your place felt like exactly what he needed.

With the last of his energy, he banged on your door. Shortly, you answered and immediately went into panic mode.

The moment you let him inside, Armando crashes to the floor, passing out.

You screech and get every first aide equipment you have on hand and begin to bandage him up and stop the bleeding.

It took two bloody, sweaty hours, but you eventually got him all closed up.

Armando woke the next morning in a bed he didn’t recognize. This sent him into a frenzy. He went to shoot up out of the bed, but the soreness of his injuries knocked him back down.

“Fuck,” he moaned, grabbing at his torso.

From the living room, you turn down your headphones at the sound of movement. Armando must be awake.

Two days of rest, not bad.

You move towards the microwave and reheat the breakfast you had made him, pour some orange juice, and bring a whole heck of a lot of water and pain-pills.

Tray in hand, you kick open the door and slip inside your bedroom.

“Good morning.” You smile, setting the tray on the bed by his side. “How do you feel?”

“What the fuck did you put in this.” Armando asks, eyeing the food.

“Eggs, bacon, and toast.” You snicker.

Armando lifts a piece of toast, taking a bite. “If I die from this, I’ll kill you.”

“Noted, Sarg.” You salute.

You watch Armando eat his food with a smile on your face.

Eventually he looks up at you scowling. “Why are you staring at me.”

You shrug. “I’m just happy you’re okay.” You say truthfully.

“Well,’ Armando takes a swig of water, downing the pills. “Go be happy somewhere else.”

Your shoulders drop and you let out a sigh, you knew Armando was tough, but geez, you practically saved his life. Would it kill him to be a little nice?

But still you smile when you say, “okay, well if you need me, I’ll be out in the living room studying. Feel free to roam around, I don’t mind.”

It was a couple hours before Armando had come out of your room, limping over to the kitchen and rummaging through your fridge.

“I’m making dinner right now,’ you say, pausing your television show. “It’s a roast with veggies.”

“I want a beer.” He grumbles.

“Well I don’t have beer, but I do have wine.” You say, pointing to you collection of reds and whites.

“ I don’t want wine.”

“Okay, so what do you want me to do?”

Armando comes over to you, cornering you into the tiny space between your sink and the counter. “Get me a beer.”

“Let’s start over,’ you stick out your hand for a shake. “I think we’re at a misunderstanding of our situation.”

Armando frowns at your response, grumbling Spanish curses under his breath and walking away, slamming your door like a toddler.

The roast was done, and eventually you got Armando to come and have dinner with you…kind of.

He sat on the couch and watched the news, for updates on the status for his search, and you sat at the table, contemplating what to do with him next.

✨Enemies, Friends, Roomates✨

Mike had told you harboring Armando would only be for a short while until he could figure something out with the D.A’s office….that was three months ago.

Eventually you got your bed back, Armando taking the couch, but not your sanity.

Living with Armando wasn’t easy. He was brash, stand-offish, stubborn, and mean.

You did everything to try and form some kind of bond with him, even buying him gym equipment offline, but it just never clicked for him.

Not until one night when you’re studying late for an exam and happen to fall asleep at the kitchen table, books all around you.

That’s when you fall into a nightmare. The man who ruined your life the star of the show, again.

It always starts the same. You and your parents living happily at the park. Your parents watch you as you swing higher and higher, giggles filling the air. Then a man appears at the edge of the park, beckoning your parents over. You scream and shout for them but they never turn back, they keep going to the man. And when he has your parents in his grip, he brandishes a knife, slicing them open.

You let out a blood curling scream, slamming awake and falling to the group. Sweat sticks your curls to your face as you cry and gasp for breath.

Armando’s up in a second, swarming you.

“Estás bien?’ He pats you down, checking you out. “What’s happened to you?”

You can’t do anything but cry. The man who’s ruined your life, he’ll never leave you…he made sure of that in many ways. His latching to you is so deep that you can’t even escape him when you sleep.

You finally are able to get some words out, tell Armando, “I had a nightmare. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,’ he helps you stand. “Maybe you should get some sleep in your bed.”

You’re shocked by his response, but you’re even more shocked by the way he helps you to your room.

“What are you doing?” You asks, confused.

“You just flew out your chair from a nightmare, what do you mean what am I doing? I’m helping you.”

“Yeah, I get that…but you never help me.”

Armando sighs, holding his hands at his hips. “You gonna tell me what it was about, or should I leave.”

You sigh. “When I was younger, my parents worked for the Miami Police Department. They were detectives and before I was born they ended up helping catch this serial killer. His name was Gunter Bennett but the media called him “The Gutter” because that’s how he killed. Years later, somehow he escaped prison. That’s when he came for my parents. He killed them in the middle of the night.’ You take an uneasy breath, finding birth relief and shock when Armando’s hand slips into yours. “And I was sure he was going to kill me too, but he didn’t…he did worse. He kidnapped me and kept me at some shithole for three years. Three.”

You rile up your sleeves and show all your burns and cuts. Armando remembers them from the first day he met you.

“It’s how I got these. That sadistic bastard,’ you cry. “He tortured me.”

Armando feels something in him snap hearing your story and seeing the ways it’s effected you, even now. He knows what it’s like to be harmed and loose the people closest to you.

So he shocks even himself with what does next, scooping you up like a wounded bird and nuzzling under the blankets with you.

You whimper and sniffle in his arms and he just hushes you, stroking your curls.

“It’s going to be alright, niña bonita, he’s gone now.”

Slowly, the exhaustion of work, school, and your tears overcome you and you both drift off to sleep in each other’s arms.

✨My Lover✨

Armando was jealous.

You two had just spent the day out shopping, laughing and talking. Hell, you two live together! And yet you’re grinding on another man at the bar?!

The glass in Armando’s hand shakes and chips as he squeezes it further.

“Relax, muscle milk. You’ll break the glass.” Marcus says.

Armando scowls at him.

“I’m just saying, if you love her, tell her.” Marcus shrugs, walking away.

Armando scoffs. Love? Yeah right.

Did he feel close to you, yes.

Want to spend every breathing moment with you, yes.

Touch himself in the shower thinking about you, yes .

Oh fuck…he did love you.

Fuck! He loved you and you’re grinding another man!

Armando pushed out of his chair, it clattering to the ground in his wake.

He stalked over to you, grabbing your wrist and putting room between you and the man you danced on.

“ ‘Mando, what are you doing?” You stumble, clearly drunk.

“Let’s go.” He grabs you, chest heaving.

“Hey, wait!” You swat at him as he drags you through the bar and out the exit. “Why would you do that?” You whine.

“Because you’re drunk.” He rolls his eyes, slinging his leather jacket over your naked shoulders.

“I’m not!’ You whine, stumbling, luckily Armando catches you with ease. “I am.”

“You are. Let’s go.” He says, slinging you and carrying you bridal shower.

“Ah,’ you say, wrapping your arms around Armando’s neck and snuggling into him. “My knight in shining armor always takes such good care of me.’ You lean over, smacking his butt with a giggle.

“Shut up.” Armando says, resisting the urge to crack a smile.

Home, Armando tucks you into bed. He’s just about to walk away when you snatch his wrist, pulling him on top of you.

“Let’s play a game,” you whisper.

Armando rolls his eyes. “What kind of game?”

“Truth for truth. I tell you a truth and you do the same. “I’ll start.” You giggle.

“Tonight went exactly how I planned.”

Armando pulls back. “What do you mean by that?”

You shake your head and pout. “Uh uh. You’re turn.”

Armando sighs. “I don’t actually find you that annoying…anymore.”

“Ah, I knew it!” You laugh.

“Knew what?”

“Game over.’ You slump and snore, pretending to sleep.

“Stop it, you knew what?” Armando lifts you.

You bop his nose. “I knew that you loved me.”

Armando’s eyes get big. “What?”

“Me and kelly paid that guy to dance with me. We knew you’d get mad and that was all the proof I needed.”

“You’re a dick.” He starts to walk away, but you grab him by his belt loop.

“Okay, I’m sorry.” You pull him back. “But you don’t have to be shy.” You hiccup.

Armando grumbles, nuzzling his face into your stomach. “And why’s that?”

You lift his head, angling it to face you. “Because I love you too.” You lean forward, placing a firm kiss onto his plump lips.

Armando reciprocates, opening his mouth turning the kiss fierce and hot. He climbs on top of you, mumbling against your lips. “And I thought you were supposed to be the nice one.”

You giggle. “Feels good to be bad for a change.”

[luvly-writer]

His Solace

Dick Grayson x reader

Author's note: I wrote this for the sole purpose of wanting to read it later. Literally for my own guilty pleasure. LMAO

Warning: It's cute?

---

Dick had a headache. He had just gotten to his apartment. He had spent a few days at Jump City helping Kory with a few things for the Titans. Normally, he wouldn't have minded but seeing as she took the opportunity to call him out on whether he was ever choosing Barbara or her; he was exhausted. Then, he was called to Gotham to aid Bruce in the development of a case with Scarecrow. It would have been fine, again, if it weren't for Jason and Tim trying to rip each other to shreds because of a petty argument; Damian antagonizing Stephanie; and to put a cherry on the top, Barbara wouldn't stop leaving very pointed comments on the same thing Kory had asked him. He had tried to contact Wally, see if they could go out and have some fun, ease his mind a little, but nop, on a mission with Barry. Finally, he had gotten home, when Bruce called that Damian, Steph, and Jason had decided to team up in their latest recon and it had been a disaster because no one followed orders. He could feel the agitation bubbling and rising with his stress levels. The cases had begun piling up, the villains would just not stay in Arkham, the alarm of the remainder of his Young Justice meeting kept beeping, could feel the panic attack rising.

"Fuck it. I'm taking a vacation."

---

You took a deep breath with your eyes closed and exhaled. Yeah, this is what you deserved. You had been dying to go to Bali and after many months of hard work, you had piled enough days to get a one-month vacation. The life of a Public Relationist was a hassle. You were damn good at your job but it was starting to strain your mental health. Burnout was approaching faster and faster. As you walked towards the pool, you looked for a few seats available and noticed one in the perfect spot. As you approached it, you noticed that the most gorgeous man had been sitting in the one next to it. Beautiful tanned skin, soft dark hair, and dazzling blue eyes.

"Is this seat taken?" You asked with a bright and warm smile. Dick felt his heart drop at the sight of you. You were honestly one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen, and he had been around aliens and demigods. Your hair was tied in a loose ponytail, your bathing suit hugged you in all the right places, and you were standing there giving a smile that left him breathless.

"Not at all, go ahead" he responded with his own smile. You placed your things down and pulled out a book and some sunglasses.

"Any good?" You heard him ask pointing toward your book

"So far so good, I just began reading it last night" she answered with a sheepish smile, "If I see you again, I'll keep you updated"

He chuckled and extended his hand, " Di-Richard" He hesitated in giving his name. He was in Bali for a whole month, next to a beautiful woman who had no idea who he was. No expectation to be the charming eldest of the Wayne household and no need to put on a mask as Nightwing. Yeah, he was gonna enjoy this small freedom.

"Y/n," she said as she shook his hand, "You don't look like a Richard" She continued making him scoff out a laugh.

"No? Why's that?"

"Richard sounds like an old serious guy in his 40's"

"You don't think I could be serious" he leaned forward with a slight smirk on his face

"Maybe, but, unless you keep a very good skincare routine, you don't look past thirty"

He laughed out loud and shook his head, " So, what's your hypothesis?"

"You have a nickname that suits you better"

"Dick"

"Excuse me" She looked at him with a hint of teasing in her eyes and a small smile.

"My nickname is Dick"

"I don't know which one is worst" she giggled and he looked at her incredulously. He laughed at that, it had been some time since he was able to feel light with some mindless teasing.

"Oh come on, as if you could come up with something better"

"Hmmm" She took a moment to think and he took it as an opportunity to really look at her. She had such a unique beauty, like those faces that stay in your mind for months, unforgettable. "What about Ric?" He scrunched his nose in distaste, "Richie" He shook his head with a laugh, "Ricky" He stopped to think for a moment and inevitably said no again. "Well, Dickie, I have absolutely no clue" She laughed.

"Dickie's nice," he said softly, and she hummed in victory.

They had spent the rest of that day talking when huger started to strike, he invited her for dinner and she accepted surprisingly. They had spent the rest of their vacation together. Hanging out, taking tours, swimming together, dining together, and even sleeping together. Dick hadn't felt so light in a long time. They clicked so well. They weren't taking this seriously because it was just a vacation. Soon they would have to go back to their lives, hers in New York and his in Gotham. Finally, the vacation was coming to an end. The morning before her trip back, they had decided to stay in her room and have a lazy morning, just enjoying the last moments together. They were lying in the bed, him on his back and her with her torso on top of him. She was softly caressing his hair as he caressed her back.

"I think I'm gonna miss you," she said softly.

"You think?" he teased and she looked at him exasperated. He chuckled and pulled her closer. "Oh honey, I know I'm gonna miss you" he pulled her closer and he felt her relax in his arms.

They had exchanged phone numbers a while back. Even though Gotham, Bludhaven and New York weren't that far away, they still had their own lives to attend to. They had agreed to remain friendly, without a title and a definition. Just each other's Bali vacation sweetheart.

A few months later…

Dick refused to cut contact with you. Given your demanding lives, you couldn't talk every single day, but he made the effort to. Daily messages and flowers sent to your apartment were a constant. When you did talk, it could go on for hours. Dick hadn't told anyone about you. It was his sweet secret, his solace. After one rough week, in particular, he had called you desperately, wanting to hear your voice and laughter. There was a small voice in the back of his mind that called him pathetic, but it was gone the second you answered the phone. He had been hurt, bad. His family and all of his leadership roles were getting to him and your sweet soothing voice cracked him. He started crying and blabbering, asking if he could see you. You agreed almost instantly and that weekend he took a train to New York.

When he got to your door, you saw the state he was in, deep eye bags, and an arm brace. You pulled him into a big hug and he just crumbled in your arms. That night, he confessed he was Nightwing. He just let everything out as he laid in your bed, in your arms once again, and you let him. He found peace in you, your touch, your voice, your friendship. You never asked him for more and it soothed him. For once, someone was on his side and didn't expect something from him aside from himself. He had told everyone he was following the lead of a case in New York, a few had offered to go with him and he refused. The only lead that he was following was the case of how much he missed you.

You were his solace. He came to you for counsel, for comfort, for laughter, for fun, for love. In return, he made sure you never felt anything other than loved, appreciated, and satisfied. Even with the distance, he still went the extra mile. Dick Grayson wasn't a bad lover, but for you, he gave himself fully. You guys still hadn't placed a label. You were just friends. You understood that you had responsibilities that needed your full attention so a relationship would complicate everything. You loved New York, he loved Bludhaven and Gotham. It was final. Until it wasn't.

Dick had barely gotten any sleep last night. Patrol ran even longer last night and he only got one hour of sleep before his alarm rang. He had gotten a headache halfway through his shift and decided to go to Brandy's and get some coffee. You hadn't answered his text yet, which was odd. Sure, you both didn't talk on the phone every day but you always texted. Maybe you were caught up with a few clients. He knew there was one that was making your job three times more difficult than it should be. As he was waiting for his order, he heard the beautiful and unmistakable sound of your voice.

"Dick?"

He turned around and there you were, standing with a suitcase and a shy smile. He swore his headache left the moment he laid eyes on you.

"Sweetheart? What? How?" he asked laughing and pulling you into a big hug. They called his order and he picked up, telling you to order something and he'd pay. Once you got your order, he pulled you into one of the booths.

"I wanted to surprise you" You answered with the sweetest smile, he swore his heart melted.

"You should have given me a heads up, gorgeous, I would have made time for you and cleaned my apartment. I could have given you a proper welcome to Bludhaven" He laughed and took one of her hands in his. He sensed she had something else to tell him.

"It's alright. I have some exciting news though," she bit her lip nervously, "I was offered an amazing position here in Bludhaven. It pays double what I earn now and I would have a higher position. I'm here to have a meeting with the executives, check out the offices, and go through my contract. Isn't that great?" she told him and he swore he heard angels sing. Y/n. His Y/n! She was going to be in Bludhaven! He wanted to cry, scream, anything to liberate the joy he felt. If she was here, then they could be together.

"That is amazing news, gorgeous! This..this..this is wow..I think whoever is up there finally started to listen to me" he joked making her laugh. He squeezed her hand adoringly. Y/n was going to be in Bludhaven and he felt utterly giddy.

Three months later…

BANG BANG BANG To be honest, Kory was tired and at this point, it was getting humiliating. Last night, she had been passing through the living room in the tower and overheard some of the members talking about a supposed bet. When she asked them what it was about they all quieted down and looked at each other nervously. Putting a stern face, she asked the team about the bet once again fearing that they had gotten into trouble. Finally, Gar spoke up and explained. Together with the Young Justice and the Outlaws, the youngest members had decided to start a bet on who would Dick choose for this year's Christmas Annual Wayne Ball. Would he go with Barbara or Kory? Hearing this was a breaking point for Kory. She meta-tubed straight to Batcave in search of Dick. Having not found him, she looked for Barbara and questioned if he was with her. Kory informed the present members of the family of the bet and heard a sheepish confirmation from Tim and Damian. Agitated, Barbara decided to accompany Kory to Bludhaven and obligate Dick to answer finally.

That led us to our current predicament, where both women stood knocking on his apartment door harshly. As they went to knock again, someone finally answered…and it was not Dick.

"Um, hi? May I help you?" a young beautiful woman in an elegant short black dress greeted them. Barbara and Kory looked stunned, not knowing what to say.

"Oh! Sorry, I think we got the wrong apart-"

"Babe, who was it at the door?" Lo and behold, Dick Grayson appeared exiting one of the rooms all dressed in black. Once, Y/n stepped back, he stopped walking and froze.

"Barbara? Kory? What are you both doing here?" He asked slowly. Something clicked in Y/n's face and the two girls realized that she finally knew who they were. Sensing the awkwardness, Y/n excused herself.

"I'm gonna go finish getting ready, okay? You're good here?" She asked touching his arm and squeezing it reassuringly. He kissed her temple and soon she disappeared through one of the doors.

"You can come in…" he said letting Kory and Barbara step through the door. His apartment looked different, they noted. It was renovated and more stylish. It didn't take a genius to know who was responsible for the sudden refinement in his "bachelor" pad.

"Who is she?" asked Kory, straight to the point. Dick sighed. Sooner or later, he would have had to reveal and introduce Y/n to his family and friends. He just wished it would have been later and by his terms.

"She is my girlfriend"

"For how long?" Barbara asked this time

"Three months"

"So it is still fresh and new?" Barbara observed. Dick had had girlfriends between the moments he had been with Kory or her, but they were never serious. They usually lasted up to five months or so and would usually grow incredibly jealous of one of the two.

"Not really" He answered tightly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She narrowed her eyes at him.

"We have been kind of something for almost a year now. We just made it official three months ago." He answered resigned. They were not going to let this go.

"A year? How- Whe- What?" Kory and Barbara exchanged puzzled looks. "And you were able to just hide it from the entirety of your social circle? How?" Kory asked

"Does Bruce know?" Asked Barbara

"No…I...was hoping to introduce her to everyone sometime before the Ball" He said, scratching his head. "She is going to be my date after all."

Barbara took a deep breath, analyzing the situation. Kory just looked at him perplexed, expecting more to come out of his mouth. Barbara narrowed her eyes at him. "Explain."

And so he did. He was as brief as he could be. Not wanting to get into too much detail. By the time he was done, Y/n excited the room. Makeup, hair, and heels done. Kory stared at you as Barbara interrogated Dick. You gave her a bright smile and extended your hand.

"Y/n L/n. A pleasure to meet you" Kory shook your hand and gave you her full name. Then you turned towards Barbara. You extend your hand and greet her as well.

"As lovely as this is, Dick we have to get going. If we get there late, I am never hearing the end of it from Charlotte." She laughed. Dick stood up quickly and went to look for his keys and wallet. She turned towards them, "Maybe you could come by tomorrow? We have to get to the engagement dinner of a friend of mine and I would love it if we weren't late." She said with a soft smile.

Neither Kory nor Barbara could sense any sort of malice behind her words. Barbara assessed her. She seemed relaxed, posture straight, and at ease. Unlike many of his ex-girlfriends, she didn't look intimidated by them at all. Dick excited their room as Barbara and Kory were about to exit. Y/n turned to look at him and he came closer. He wrapped his hands around her waist and she wrapped hers around his neck.

"You have a lot of explaining to do with your family tomorrow" she warned him with a laugh.

"Yeah, yeah, can't wait" He responded sarcastically and rolled his eyes. Kissing her on her shoulder he turned towards Barbara and Kory who were still observing him.

"Babs, we'll talk about this tomorrow. I'll go to the manor and we can meet at the cave. Kory, I'll call you later, okay?" He promised. Both women nodded and left.

"I guess my sweet secret won't be such a secret anymore" he groaned and the girl pecked his cheek gently.

"It was gonna happen sooner or later, gorgeous. Plus, I'm kinda excited. I want to meet your family." She said softly. He looked at her and smiled. As long as she was here, He would be fine. He just hoped they wouldn't scare her away.

"Come on baby, we don't want Charlotte to tease you about how ever since you got a boyfriend, you never get early to things" Hearing her groan made him laugh.

---

Author's Note: This took longer that I though but idgaf, this is literally so self indulgent that I love it. I kinda wanna write a part two of the family meeting reader but idk. If its requested then I probably might. What do you guys think?

[cobaltperun]

Eternal Flame (12) - Fight Inside

Jenna Ortega x Female Reader

Summary: For her it’s a passion, for you it’s an accident. And as she continues shining brighter and brighter with each role you are left mesmerized, drawn to her flame and cherishing every time she lets herself be vulnerable with you.

Spotify playlist

Masterlist / First Part / Previous part / Next Part

Word Count: 5.4k

-The war within me pulls me under and without you the fight inside is breaking me again-

Jenna paced all over the living room, feeling like she was on the verge of a panic attack and the worst thing about it was that she, to calm herself down, just kept reminding herself of your presence. She kept thinking back to that hotel room where you first calmed her down from a panic attack. She began hugging herself as she continued pacing, trying desperately to at least somewhat simulate the way you were holding her that night and all the nights after that one.

“Jenna, sit down,” her mom pleaded. Her entire family was sitting in the living room, her father was still distraught and had his face buried in his hands. He was shaken up, sure, but he wasn't the only one affected by all of this. Her siblings, Aliyah and Markus seemed torn by what happened and her mother was looking at her, worried and probably seeing the early signs of a panic attack, something she had to deal with often as a nurse.

Jenna turned to her father. “How could you hit her like that?” she demanded, for the first time in her life raising her voice at her father.

“Do not raise your voice at me, Jenna,” her father warned her sharply, his fists clenching as he did so, and she knew he barely restrained himself from hitting the table out of anger.

Yet Jenna didn’t give in. She wasn’t deterred by his warning. “No! Tell me what that was? This past week every time I tried to mention Y/N, whenever I tried to talk about what I found out the two of you,” she pointed at her parents. “Have been shutting me down, telling me that she's violent, that she'd hurt me, that she’s no good for me and what do you do when she shows up?” she stopped pacing and looked right at her father. “You point a gun at her, you threaten to kill her and then you punch her. Explain that to me,” she wasn't backing down, she felt like her whole world was breaking apart and she couldn't keep even half of it together, let alone all of it.

“She provoked me,” her dad argued, as if she didn't see everything from her room

“Dad, I saw everything from the window. I saw how quick you were to point the gun at her, so who are you lying to here?” she shouldn't have backed away when she was in front of you, no, even before that, she shouldn't have stayed in her room in the first place. She should have gone outside the moment she saw you stepping out of that car, she should have ran into your arms, she should have let you hold her because she wanted nothing more than to have you with her right now, holding her, calming her down, telling her everything would be fine.

While she needed to hear you out, to understand what the hell happened, she should have stuck by your side, she should have shown you she wasn't giving up on you. She thought she was confused, yet all of those thoughts that she had, all of that uncertainty and pain and doubt within her just vanished the moment she saw you. Jenna knew that you would never hurt her, you could never, ever hurt her.

She could no longer restrain her tears, and they just fell from her eyes, and she didn’t even try to stop them. “I hurt her so bad. Y/N was by my side when I needed her the most and I couldn't see past one wrong decision she made in her life,” she dug her hands into her hair, tempted to pull at her hair.

Her mom sighed. “Jenna please, you're being too dramatic. Yes, Edward took it too far when he hit her, but you can't tear our family apart over this,” her mom told her and she could hear her mom was frustrated with her behavior by now. “We've all been walking on eggshells around you since you came back from Denver, and we thought you would just get over it if we didn't let you talk about her. We just want what's the best for you, Jenna,” her mom took a deep breath, as if contemplating if she should continue, and Jenna did nothing to stop her, she just listened. “I'm praying every single night that you would just move on from her. You want to be with a woman? Fine, go right ahead, but not with her,” she was crying as well by now and Jenna just took a step back. “You are young, you are in love and you don't see how this is going to end.”

Jenna pointed outside. “Y/N is not the one who chose violence back there, it was-“

“Your father was provoked, Jenna!” her mother yelled at her, cutting her off.

“But isn't that the point? That anyone could be provoked? That being with someone who didn't go to underground fights won't automatically make me safe?” her father was a police officer, he was supposed to protect everyone, and yet even he went and hit someone who wasn't even a threat to him, just because that's someone said something that struck a nerve for him.

“A stranger telling me that I have no right to talk about keeping my own child safe just because I didn't stop you from being an actress is not the same thing as someone I love Jenna. I lashed out at a stranger that thought she had the right to lecture me about how to be a father!” her dad yelled, slamming his fist on the table.

“Can you please stop?” Markus asked, almost fearfully, and for the first time Jenna noticed just how much he and Aliyah were distraught by this, especially Aliyah, she even flinched when thier dad hit the table.

“Jenna, this is tearing our family apart. You need to forget about her,” her mom said through tears and Jenna just ran into her bedroom, sobbing and desperately trying to find some warmth.

She felt cold, her body shook slightly despite the blanket she wrapped around herself, and she felt like she couldn't breathe properly, like every breath she took was too shallow, like she didn't have enough oxygen. She felt dizzy, like she was about to throw up, she felt exactly the way she felt on that night she had a panic attack and you came into her room, stopping it. Only this time no one would come to help her through it, not her siblings, not her parents, not with all of this tension and frustration permeating the house following your arrival. She had nothing to keep the panic from consuming her, no one to hold her, she might as well be back in her place in LA all alone for all it mattered.

Sobs wrecked through her body and somehow, she stumbled to her closet opening it and digging through her stuff. She saw them the familiar dark green shirt and the black and red jacket. She tucked them away, fearing that maybe someone would throw them away if they found them and she just put the jacket around her back and clung to the shirt.

If she concentrated enough, she could almost smell your perfume still lingering on your clothes, and she was stuck between the relief even the hint of your presence brought her and the pain of knowing that she just gave up on that.

She could almost hear your voice telling her to just breathe, to stay calm, that you were right there with her. And that's exactly what you would be telling her if you were here with her now. Even after everything that happens today and ten days ago, and how she acted like what you did was the worst thing anyone could have ever done… Even after she refused to hear your part of the story, even if she judged you based not even on what Barbara told her, but based on her own conclusions based only on the fact that you went and fought in an underground fight club… Even after all that there was no doubt in her mind that if you were with her now you would be doing everything in your power stop her panic attack. You would have held her gently, looking at her with that look of pure adoration in your eyes that was there even when she saw you today. You still wore her ring around your neck. She didn't see it, but she noticed the necklace it should be hanging from, so she knew it was safe to assume that you did still carry her mark on your body.

And she threw all of that away.

And she sobbed, crying her heart out for the first time in ten days, completely letting it all out, all alone in her and Aliyah’s shared room, with nothing but your shirt in her hands and jacket around her back keeping her together.

And when the tears all dried up and Jenna felt like she could finally breathe once again only one thought remained. She had to go and see you, the consequences be damned. She had to catch up with you before you could get on the plane and go back to Denver. And if you somehow missed one another on the airport, which she doubted would happen because the plane for Denver wouldn't take off for another four hours, then she would just take the plane and meet you there. She needed to see you. She just desperately needed to see you.

~X~

You managed to hide the bust lip with a scarf you bought after returning the car, and now you were at the airport facing a decision you frankly didn't think you would have to make today. On one hand you could go home and have to explain the bruise slowly forming on your face to Hugh and Barbara, creating even more problems and probably only making reconciliation with Jenna in the future even more impossible. If there was ever even a chance of speaking to her again. You couldn’t let Hugh and Barbara know Edward hit you, because even if you could get over being hit, you doubted Hugh would ever let it go. And while Barbara might be a bit more forgiving and wouldn't blame it on Jenna, there would still be some tension in the future, so you really couldn't go home. Which, now that you thought about it more clearly, meant you didn’t even have a decision to make, it was made for you the moment you took that punch to the face.

“Hi, can I get a ticket for Italy, please?” you asked the person working at the airport. You would have to go to Italy in a couple of days anyway, so you might as well take some time to do some sightseeing. Maybe visit the Colosseum, as cliche as it was, or maybe go to Florence or Venice. You could definitely spare a day or two for that, and it wasn't like you were going to be in Italy for long. The contract you signed said you would be filming for a week, that all of your scenes would be done as quickly as possible to lower the costs of hiring you, since you were from the US. And frankly you were fine with it, especially now.

When you signed the contract you figured, what the hell, it was work. You would get paid, get a new experience in a new country, but now after all the things that happened, you had to accept that your mental health really wasn't at the level necessary to push yourself through several weeks of filming.

You still wondered what you would do once that week was over. Would you go back home? Would you stay in Italy for some time? There really was no telling at this point.

“Yes, of course. You're in luck we have a few seats available on the flight taking off in an hour,” that was just perfect. “Do you have any luggage?”

“None,” you basically had just your handbag, you didn't even bring your apartment keys seeing as you left them with Barbera, since she stayed at your place when you left to go to Coachella. You would need to do some light shopping when you arrive at Italy, but that wouldn’t be much of an issue.

~X~

Jenna felt panic clutching at her heart as she looked at the crowd getting on the plane for Denver. She was still out of breath as she ran through the airport, desperately hoping to catch a glimpse of you before you could leave.

“Jenna, I don’t think she’s here,” Aliyah called out behind her, barely keeping up. She went with Jenna because she just couldn’t let Jenna get in the car on her own, fearing that maybe in her state of panic and distraught her older sister would end up getting into an accident. Aliyah hoped that with her in the car, Jenna would drive more carefully instead of speeding from Coachella all the way to the airport you should be at.

“She has to be,” she would notice you in a crowd of thousands of people if she had to, but you just weren't here. She knew the airport was big, but a tiny voice in her head told her she didn’t somehow miss you; you really weren't here. There was no other way to explain it. You were nowhere to be seen, and she was here before anyone even started getting on the plane, so there was no way she missed you.

“Why don't you just call her best friend? Maybe she is at a hotel or something, maybe she didn't want to drive far, or maybe there is some other logical explanation for why she's not here?” Aliyah tried to talk some sense into her, but all Jenna could feel once again was pure panic.

“Yeah that's, that's what I'll do!” she had to focus. Aliyah was right, if anyone would know where you were, it would be Barbara. “Keep an eye out for her, OK?” she felt like she shouldn't even take her attention off the crowd and look at her phone, fearing that maybe that single instant it would take her to call Barbara would be the instant she misses you.

“I've got it, just call that girl,” Aliyah didn't suggest that Jenna should call you, and it didn't even cross her mind to do it, not after everything that happened. No, the first time she would speak to you again it would have to be face to face, there was no other way a text message, a call or even facetime would do. It would have to be the two of you, somewhere, anywhere as long as you were at the same place, somewhere she could reach out and touch you and just hope that you would let her hug you. And then this horrible feeling in her chest that felt like her heart was being torn into pieces from the inside and left to somehow keep beating would pass, as long as you let her hug you. As long as she could again feel your strong arms around her everything would be fine.

She called Barbara, her eyes once again scanning over the crowd, hoping to see you. Yet you weren’t there. Finally, after what felt like eternity, Barbara picked up.

“Jenna? What's this is all about?” she sounded confused, and she probably knew exactly what happened when you tried to come and talk to her, so Jenna really couldn’t blame her for being taken aback.

She had to be honest, to tell your best friend what she really felt. “I made a mistake! I regret everything, I'm at the airport and I can't find her. I need to apologize to Y/N, I need to,” he pushed back her tears. “I need to do anything, please just tell me she's at a hotel or something, that she's still in Coachella and I can still fix this,” because where else could you be? Where else could you possibly be when the flight to Denver was yet to take off, and you couldn't have made it for the previous one. It took two hours to get from her house to the airport, so you couldn't have gotten on the flight before this one.

Barbara sighed on the other side of the line. “Y/N did tell me you wouldn't hear her out,” Barbara's words, laced with a hint of anger, struck her harder than any punch could. It was just another reminder of how much she regretted not doing things differently merely hours ago. “I'll tell you where she is so you don't worry, but you can't go after her, Jenna. Let her finish this movie and if she wants to talk to you after that, then talk to her. Y/N took the first flight to Italy.”

Jenna had no idea how she stayed on her feet. It felt like the entire airport was spinning around her and the weight of everything just came crashing down on her. “I want to see her,” she whispered, trying to keep her emotions hidden, to stay in control and not break right here in the public.

“You saw her, you just let her go,” Barbara had no mercy, and Jenna truly believed she didn’t deserve any mercy anyway. “I don't know what happened there, I don't know why you changed your mind now all of a sudden, but you didn't have to pick up the pieces after you left. So, please let her recover before you hurt her again,” Barbara hung up and it didn't even cross Jenna’s mind to go to Italy after you.

~X~

Considering the way you approached this job you had no doubt in your mind that if anyone ever asked your co-stars from Italy how was it to work with you on the set that they would say you were professionally pleasant. Treating people with something close to kindness but not putting any effort into creating bonds with them. Instead, you just stayed silent, alone in the corner occasionally grasping something underneath your shirt that you wouldn't ever reveal to them. You just did your job, and you were a great partner, easily building chemistry with the actors and actresses you interacted with on the screen.

None of your co-stars could say a single bad word about the way you approached your job. You didn't get irritated over multiple takes, you didn't mind last minute changes to the script, even if the movie would basically be almost nothing like the book it was based on. You had a character to play and that's all that really mattered to you on this particular project.

How did you know that? You sort of overheard them speaking in Italian right next to you sometimes. And your parents didn’t insist on you learning just Spanish, they had you learning Italian and French as well. Meaning that while you were rusty you could still understand what your Italian co-stars were talking about you while they thought you didn't understand a single word coming out of their mouths. And you were perfectly fine with that, for all you cared they would never know that you understood them.

There was a bit of a curse in knowing Italian though, at least for you and at least in this particular situation. It made it even easier to find this place once the filming of your part was over. Your contract was done, you could go back home whenever you wanted to, yet here you were, late at night, in the dark alleys of Rome. You were watching as the crowd slowly trickled into a barely lit building an underground fight would be held in.

Davis once told you that you've gotten so used to this world that finding the fight clubs anywhere in the world would be easy for you. You laughed it off back then, but from the looks of it he was right. You easily found this place. Here you were, looking at the building where fights would be held tonight from across the street, your hands in your pockets and the hood of your jacket covering most of your face.

As you watched the building you thought back to the time after your parents died. There really wasn't anything specific to think about, you just remembered the emptiness, the guilt, the desire to feel anything, and to release the awful emotions pent-up within you. And somehow the only way you could do it was through fights.

You tried for months after their deaths to find another way, you drove a car, you went on walks, you did workouts that involved martial arts and the ones that didn't involve martial arts. You tried different extreme sports, you tried climbing, you tried anything you could think of and none of it worked, so you ended up just going back to the fights because they just worked. You pulled out your phone and called Hugh and he picked up rather quickly, it didn't even get to ring the second time.

“What the hell? I was just about to call you!” he said when he picked up and you managed to laugh a bit, genuinely happy to hear his voice.

“Eh, great minds think alike, you know,” the smile on your face fell for a moment. “I'm in front of a fight club,” you just told him and you could hear him getting up, you could imagine the look on his face. The helplessness at knowing that there was absolutely nothing he could do to stop you if you decided to go inside.

“Y/N,” he spoke your name, about to ask you not to go inside, yet you interrupted him.

“I'm not going in. I quit fighting, and I'm sticking to that,” you assured him him and you weren't lying, you came here, but you had no intention of going in.

Hugh let out a sigh of relief. “Why did you go there then?” he sounded genuinely baffled by your decision to come here, and you couldn’t blame him.

“I wanted the proof. I wanted to come here, to be one step away from going back to the fights and to still be able to walk away,” you said as you turned away from the building and just began the walk back to your hotel.

“You don't feel like you can say you properly quit unless you have it within arm’s reach, do you?” he figured it out and you nodded out of a habit, only to remember he couldn’t see you.

“Pretty much. I can feel this broken and have the chance to fight right in front of me without wanting to go in. I'm done, I’ll never go to underground fights again, no matter what happens in my life,” you knew it was a bold statement, especially considering you were in this for four years, but you said it with definitive certainty.

Hugh remained silent for some time, probably feeling relief over what you just told him. And then came the question that's been probably on his mind for years. “Why did you even go back to fighting?”

There was no simple answer. You felt so many things, yet you felt nothing at the same time. You felt like you failed. “I-“ you began finally saying the words that just might be enough to explain that decision. “Wanted to be judged and punished for failing to save them. No one else would do it, so I did it myself, I was my own judge, jury and executioner,” that was probably the closest you could get to explaining what drove you to those fights again and again.

It just became a vicious cycle. The guilt and memories overwhelming you and reminding you of your failures, and the nightmares and that lonely apartment in Denver also played a part. Every single second you spent living alone was a constant reminder that your entire family was taken from you in an instant, and each time you were reminded of that, your resistance to fighting became weaker. And then you would just give in and go back to the fights, only to then feel guilty for causing pain to those that you still had in your life. Then that guilt would feed the guilt of failure and so the cycle would continue again and again until Jenna broke it.

She said she wanted all of you, you now guessed that was a lie.

But those words were still enough to give you that one push you needed. Just for a moment you lied to yourself and thought giving the fights up would be enough. It wasn’t enough, and you didn't blame Jenna for it, not even one bit. Hell, you didn't even blame her family, to be perfectly honest you would be cautious in their place as well.

The time you spent with Jenna, the love you felt, made you believe tomorrow could be better, and the ring around your neck kept reminding you of that.

Hugh didn't reply yet. At the end of the day there really wasn't anything he could say. Your logic was terribly flawed, driven by irrational feelings, and there was no way to rationalize it, or to argue against it with logic. And there wasn't a single feeling Hugh could draw upon to counter it. “What's your plan now that you finished filming in Italy?” he asked, and you really didn't know what to tell him, you didn't feel like going back to the States, but then again you also didn't feel like staying in Italy.

“I don't know. I'm not ready to go back to Denver,” as much time as Barbara would spend with you, you would still be on your own for the most part, and you just didn't want to be all alone.

“We have a month before we start filming The Daughter, how about we go do a little soul searching? You, me and my family, just go to some places, maybe do some good along the way,” Hugh suggested and honestly you didn't think that was a bad idea.

“Sure. Where would we go first?” you didn't even think much about it, at this point all he had to say was that you wouldn't be alone, and you would accept it.

“It's about time I show you where The Laughing Man coffee began. We're going to Ethiopia, your jaw dropped. This was not what you thought he had in mind but sure, you might as well do it.

“Let's go then,” you agreed immediately. “Do you want to meet up somewhere? What's the plan here?” you asked as you stepped out of the dark alleyways and onto the main streets of Rome.

“We’ll come to Italy. Deb wanted to go and see Dante's House Museum in Florence,” you could swear you could hear the smile on his face.

“Admit it, this is just an excuse to take a long vacation, isn't it?” you laughed, just appreciating that you would be included in it.

“I have no idea what you're talking about,” but he was laughing as well and you reached up, wrapping your hand around the ring through your shirt. You would get better, you would heal, because if you didn't you felt like you had no right to wear this ring, let alone think of Jenna.

~X~

Barbara met up with Hugh the day before he and his family would leave to meet you in Italy. They were in your apartment, packing some of your things for the month long vacation.

“How does she sound?” Barbara asked him. Sure, the two of you talked a lot, but you've always been more honest with Hugh, always wanting to protect Barbara from how you felt deep down, so if anyone could tell if you were really fine it would be Hugh.

Hugh sighed while packing some of your sweaters. “Somber. There's this distance in her voice, something I can't explain. She’s missing Jenna, maybe even clinging to some hope they can fix things. I have no doubt in my mind that she stopped fighting for good, but I'm afraid that this despair won't end,” he said swallowing the lump in his throat and Barbara could tell he was fighting back his emotions, trying his hardest to be strong in this moment, to not show his own weakness, not even to her, let alone to you.

“So, what are you going to do?” she so desperately wanted to go with them and to see you, and to be with you through all of this. She couldn’t though. She wouldn't be able to keep that from her family. As far as her family knew she cut down on her contact with you two years ago. That was when they found out you continued fighting and they had the same reaction Jenna's family had. They feared that you would become violent toward her at some point, so in her family's eyes Barbara listened to them and for the most part cut you out of her life. She couldn't leave for a month, there would be no excuse for it.

Her family actually bought the story that every time she would go to your apartment, or sleep over at your place, that she was actually seeing a boyfriend. That was her go to excuse. They knew she still had some contact with you, but they had no idea that you were still very much her best friend.

And then Hugh said something she didn't expect. “I have no idea what to do. I was just hoping that surrounding her with people would show her the future can be better, that she can find something more to life other than a job, or a relationship, or this grief that she keeps carrying around. I don't know yet how to help her, and I know she's not my child on paper, but,” he stopped, overcome with emotions.

“I know,” Barbara tried to stop him, unsure how to act, because he was close to falling apart and crying and she wasn't sure how to process all of that.

“I have to say it at least to someone. I can't say it to Y/N, I can't assume she feels the same way. Even if I never adopted her, or said it to her, she really is- when I look at her and my own kids I see no difference. And I just know I need to help her somehow. It finally feels like this time she will let me help her get through this,” he took a deep, shuddering breath trying to stay in control of his emotions, but a single tear still fell down from his face to your sweater.

There was a part of Barbara that thought she should tell him you felt the same way, that you saw him as a father, but she understood you had a complicated relationship with that particular parent-child bond. It was probably difficult for you to acknowledge those feelings without also feeling like you were replacing your own parents in a way. So, she chose not to comment on that and instead hoped to take Hugh’s mind off all of those emotions by focusing on something more urgent and in need of solution. “What should I tell Jenna?” she asked.

Over the past ten days her and Jenna have been in touch, exchanging messages every now and then. It was mostly Jenna checking up to ask how you were doing and Barbara appreciated that, but it also opened up the question of what to do.

“Keep doing what you're already doing, I guess,” Hugh figured. “If she's genuinely concerned about Y/N, then I guess no harm can come from that. What happens after we all come back and maybe even after we finish filming The Daughter is not up to us. That's not our decision, but if her family and Jenna herself think that Y/N could ever physically hurt her, they are going to have  a problem with me,” Hugh said, and Barbara honestly couldn't agree more.

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[genshin-obsessed]

You Get Injured! | Honkai Star Rail

I finally finished! AND! I added Caelus! Kinda forgot he existed for a second lmao. I personally think the delivery for this took way too long but it's ok now! ^w^ I hope you like it! ✧ Includes: Caelus, Dan Heng, Welt, Sampo, Blade ✧ Extra: Angst ahead! The consistency is weird here cuz my writing always gets longer as I write. Meaning the first one I start with is short and the last one is ridiculously long. I did try to even it out a little, though. Also I was supposed to have banners for this but... I completely forgot about them

➺ Caelus

Caelus had told you to wait before going anywhere dangerous because he wanted to join you. You two could protect one another. But you didn’t listen because he took slightly too long. Not that you were that impatient but you just wanted to get your task done, yanno? Caelus was also a super busy guy and the last thing you wanted was to give him more work. Your plan was to go in, do what you needed, and be done by the time he got here. Simple, right?

You were too far. Too far. Caelus’ heart was pounding out of his chest as his legs moved as fast as they could to get to you. He’d just heard what happened- you’d gotten attacked by some fragmentum monsters. All he knew was you were hurt badly. His mind was a mess with all sorts of awful scenarios. The worst one was seeing you dead. He could literally imagine your headstone and he hated it. Every second of it.

The second he saw you, he engulfed you in the tightest of hugs almost forgetting you were injured. You groaned which made him realize he was too rough. He apologized and was quick to get you medical help. There was so much blood- like everywhere. It was leaving a trail as he got you to the medics. It was horrifying and he’d never felt so scared before in his life.

He was next to you the entire time. Like day in, day out, he was beside you helping you heal. Your injuries were so bad, you were unable to do anything for the first two weeks. Caelus helped you with everything. You kept apologizing, but he wouldn’t have any of it. He just insisted that you need to focus on getting better and he was right here beside you, where he belonged.

Honestly, after the whole thing, Caelus was a lot more aware and attentive. Not that he wasn’t before, but now he was super careful. That day was one of the hardest and seeing you like that? That was a day he never forgot and never wanted to re-encounter. So, whenever you wanna go somewhere, he always wants to join (especially if it’s dangerous).

➺ Dan Heng

Dan Heng has never, ever doubted you or your abilities to fight. Anywhere you’d go, he’d simply join out of the intent to be good company. He would miss you. But he never doubted you… and he never thought you could get hurt out there. You were always so strong and unbeatable.

When he heard the news, he felt his heart drop. His entire body froze and he didn’t exactly understand what he was being told. You were injured? Badly? What happened? Who did it? Weren’t you just going to a friend’s place? How could this happen?

When Dan Heng saw you- your figure which was covered in blood, your teary eyes, your limp- he raced to hold you tightly in his arms. How could he let this happen? How could he allow you to get hurt like this when he had the ability to protect you? He didn’t do his part as a good boyfriend. The entire time, he did his best not to break down, knowing it was more important to take care of you than cry.

Through the entire healing process, Dan Heng was glued to your side. He was at your beck and call- anything you needed, he got for you. There was a period where he was super nervous about having others around, but quickly came to the decision that it was unhealthy and he needed to step back. You were still happy to have him around.

The aftermath with everything was expected. Every time you left on your own, Dan Heng just had a wave of panic and uncertainty. He always had that thought in the back of his mind of you not making it back to him. He tried not to let it get to him, but he couldn’t help it. You got hurt before, so why not this time? You make sure to call to let Dan Heng know everything is ok when you arrive at your destination and sometimes, you just take him with! After all, he is your boyfriend and you adore his company.

➺ Welt

You and Welt made a good team, having fought a lot together. So, if you went off on your own or with another team, he didn’t really need to worry. He knew your capabilities and didn’t underestimate you at any point. Though, he hadn’t stopped to think… maybe you weren’t invincible.

Himeko was the first to tell him and the way she looked when she brought it up is what initially scared him. Himeko had run all the way to him, her eyes were wide with worry, and she was breathing heavily. She only said, “(y/n) got attacked.” Welt could feel his heart sinking into his stomach as the numerous bad scenarios came to his mind. Most of them included a dead you.

Welt couldn’t rest- he had to see you and right this second. Himeko wasted no time and quickly took him to see you. You were already at the hospital but when he saw you… he pretty much broke down. Himeko had never seen him like that and bargained with the doctors to let him see you just for a minute. They agreed and let him in. You weren’t awake which sent another wave of terror through him. What if you never woke up? His fears were settled when you did eventually wake up, but you were in bad shape.

Your recovery was taken extremely seriously by Welt. He made sure you ate meals at proper times, you were drinking enough fluids, and he even made sure you took the time to get up and walk around for a few minutes every now and then. He was pretty much your personal nurse and he happily took on the job. He wasn’t upset, he made time, and he took really good care of you.

Honestly, afterward, Welt had a few nightmares. When he saw you, you weren’t awake. There were nights where he walked to you in that hospital bed and you just flatlined. It became a deep-rooted fear for him. You didn’t realize how bad it was until there was a day where you forgot to call him when you left and he just panicked, acting nothing like his usual composed self. He apologized for losing his composure but you appreciated seeing what you did because now you knew how worried he got. He’s definitely an overprotective boyfriend now.

➺ Sampo

Sampo didn’t take things too seriously a lot of the time. He wasn’t neglectful or anything, but he was just a goofy guy. Due to his laid-back attitude, Sampo didn’t worry when you said you were going to visit Rivet Town to help Hook with something. He didn’t necessarily take into account how dangerous it was and just happily kissed you goodbye and told you to be safe. I mean… you tried.

Of course, he was busy doing what he did best when he saw Hook… running to him with tears in her eyes. The entire event that morning came rushing back and he just knew. Hook barely had to say anything and Sampo was demanding she take him to you. Hook took Sampo to Natasha’s clinic, which is where you’d made it to before collapsing. The entire time, he was blaming himself. He should’ve offered to go with you, he should’ve asked more- he should've been there.

He tried to hug you but you were unconscious on the bed, so all he could do was just wait until you woke up. He refused to let go of your hand- no matter what anyone said- he stood his ground. Eventually, they just relented and let him stay. You woke up only a few hours later, absolutely exhausted and clearly recovering.

Sampo was your personal nurse but he wasn’t the best at it. Sometimes he’d mess up, drop things, make it harder for you but… it always made you laugh. You could see that Sampo was very upset with himself and this was his desperate way to make up for it, even though he knew there was no way to do that. But you happily accepted it. You could see how much he loved you just from that.

The aftermath was… a bit to get used to. Sampo never let you go into danger zones alone. No matter what. However, you were never one to disagree. What was odd was his seriousness. A lot of Sampo’s laid-back-ness kinda went away after what happened. Of course, it wasn’t permanent but it was a bit upsetting. You could see the toll your accident had taken on him. He worried- a lot. He even admitted he’ll get flashes of that day and he wonders where he would have been had you not woken up. You just give him a big tight hug to let him know you weren’t going anywhere.

➺ Blade

Blade was always overprotective, he knew you were squishy. Meaning, you’re mortal. If someone poked you hard enough, you’d die. He didn’t want that to happen, so he was always making sure you were ok. He kept an eye on you, stuck around you, and just had your back all the time. There was one day- ONE- where he failed. And that was the day he paid the price.

When he heard, he felt nothing but pure rage for whatever hurt you. The second emotion he felt was pure disappointment in himself. He let that happen. HE did, no one else. You wouldn’t have gotten hurt if he wasn’t busy and had made time for you. He did every other day so why not this one? When he saw you, he didn’t have much of a physical reaction other than wide eyes and engulfing you in a hug. But deep inside, he hated himself for a bit because this was his fault.

Blade refused to leave your side and if anyone even dared to suggest he did, he brought down every last bit of that rage on them. He stuck by you the entire time you were under medical observation. Once you were able to go home, he did everything for you. If you dared to lift a finger to do anything, he just sent his signature glare your way. You would giggle sheepishly and just lay back down.

There was a change in his personality at home. He was much softer. He was always asking if you were ok, he would do anything, and he was super affectionate. He would hold you all the time, give you quick kisses, and just let you know he loved you. All the time. It was an unusual change but not one you hated. You loved Blade and him giving you all sorts of affection was great! A bit weird, but great!

The aftermath was expected: Blade basically became your personal bodyguard. He wasn’t very affectionate in public, but at home, that new side remained. It was as if there was a switch that had been flipped. Eventually, you finally asked him when he literally tickled you one night. He said, “I thought you were gonna die. And I realized… I didn’t get to show you just how much I love you.” That was all he was willing to say on it. You were so happy to hear that. It was nice to see how soft Blade could be with you when no one was looking.

[edward-munson]

trust you | anakin skywalker: episode V

Summary: You go on a mission with Cal... and Anakin. You have a task as a tech engineer, but dealing with General Grievous and his army of droids can be challenging. Ps: There's a character guest in this chapter, remember it doesn't follow the actual timeline of the franchise!!

No warnings, just vulgar language (a lot of it because it's a mission and they're all on the verge of flipping out lol)

Word count: 4.7k

*

(Y/N):

I'm not sure I even had the option to actually deny the offer Cal made. To be honest, he practically begged me and forced me to agree on going with him and his team to a trade with someone with a weird name.

Worst of it all, I had to be their tech guy for the mission. A mission led by none other than Anakin. I wish I could actually have had a choice, because I sure wasn't expecting to see his face this soon.

Especially after he literally threatened me the other day. I don't think I've ever felt this scared in my life. We all know the guy has a temper and he doesn't follow any rules. As much as we all hoped he would change through the years, it seems like it's getting worse instead.

Now I'm sitting next to Cal in his ship, while Artoo is on top of it. He seemed a little distressed, he doesn't show off his emotions a lot because he knows I get worried. But I know after what happened that day he's not getting along with Anakin.

I mean, who would at this point? He looks at you like he's about to rip your eyes out.

And I know Cal didn't want to look like he's only on this mission because of the team itself. He told me he didn't want to collaborate this time, which only made the Jedi Master walk around with a deadly look on his face.

But the redhead never felt intimidated by him in any way. Or at least he doesn't show it. As far as I know, we're heading to General Grievous' spaceship. I feel like I've heard this name before, but I can't collect it.

"So, what's the plan? Leaving me trapped in here with R2?" I ask as he maneuvers into outer pace, a concentrated look on his face as he does so.

He chuckles with dramatic concern. "You'll be looking out for us with commander Poe Dameron first" Cal explains as I nod. Who is Poe Dameron, by the way?

"He's a Jedi as well?" He shakes his head in response. "He's... not?"

Okay, that concerned me. I'm only used to being around force sensitive people, and being a human already scared me enough. Now, knowing I'm going to be around another human makes me wonder whatever happens if we get attacked.

"Nope, but he's a good Resistance's Starfighter Corps member. And a good pilot" He gives me a smile as he turns his head to face me. He can read my panic plastered all over my face and reaches out his hand to grab mine. "We're gonna need you there to break into their system".

So, we'll watch as the trade unfolds and hope for the best first. Do I agree with that? I didn't, but I had no choice but to help them.

"And if something happens, before he drops you there, he'll bring you back to Coruscant" Cal shoots his head back forward as we approach the starship.

Yeah, simple as that, right? If something happens, like, we'll just go back and live it out. Doesn't seem too tragic for me, I love the adrenaline.

Not.

We landed on a hangar, Cal preparing himself up before leaving me out here with only a Droid and a man named Poe. I hope this guy isn't a douchebag like Skywalker is, I won't be able to run away from him if I wanted to.

He gives me a small kiss on the forehead before leaving the ship, sending me a half smile before meeting the others already in formation. I watch as a brunette man walks towards from where the redhead just left and waves back to the others.

He has wavy dark hair, as well as dark brown eyes, and a stubble. Damn, this man looks fine as hell.

Poe steps in and sits down on the seat next to me, looking right up with a kind smile on his face. He finishes buckling himself before introducing himself to me, while I still glance at him like he just came out of a Disney movie.

"Hi, I'm Dameron. Well, Poe Dameron but they call me by my last name since I'm a commander" He explains, extending his hand for a greeting. I grip his hand for a few seconds before releasing.

Good handshake, firm and gentle. What am I even saying at this point?

"You're (Y/N), right?" I nod as he looks back at the panel, starting the ship.

"Yes, I am. It's nice to meet you" I say for the first time, feeling like I have never met anybody that gorgeous.

"Likewise. So, you're an engineer? You fix everything?" Poe asks, concentrating on lifting the flight.

"Well, mostly prosthetics and spacecraft. They're already too much to handle most of the time. But I can manage computers and systems as well"

"You were responsible for creating the robotic arm General Skywalker has?" He seems interested in what I do for my living and it kinda distracts me from the mission we were on.

I wish I could not hear this name on a daily basis.

"You know him?" I didn't mean to sound too surprised, but my voice gave it away anyway. "And not really, I usually fix it for him".

Yeah, and the last time I did it he almost got killed and that led to me almost getting killed as well.

"We've been out and about on a few assignments. I'm mostly doing tasks for the Resistance, leading attacks and all that" He sets the ship on standby as we watch from a distance while the group of Jedi gets in the Trade Federation Starship.

"Are you never scared of doing these dangerous jobs being human?" I ask out of curiosity, it gives me such a bad feeling being out for work like this.

He looks at me and grins. How can someone be so good looking like that? This is so distracting. "Kinda get used to it at some point, I chose this life".

I just nod and stare back at the distance. We both had comlink for communication, R2 looking out for any threats as well. I shuffle uncomfortably on my seat, desperate to be done with this mission. Poe notices my discomfort and rests a hand over my shoulder.

"You're going to be fine, they'll protect you at all costs and we'll be on full alert from afar. That's why we have other starships in position" He tries to comfort me and gives me a nod.

It doesn't change anything about this assignment, we all know how difficult they can be.

My sweaty hands grab my duffel bag and I look over the tools I brought with me. I hope this shitty idea works, because I can't be bothered to feel bad for failing their job.

A few minutes later, which seemed like hours, Cal spoke over the comlink and Poe promptly shifted the gears and flew back to the starship. As we land, I see him next to another General all while waiting for me. My nerves are on edge and I feel like I'm gonna fucking throw up.

Before I leave, Poe gives me a sympathetic look and offers a handshake. "May the Force be with you" He says kindly.

"May the Force be with you, commander" I force a smile that might have come out as a grimace and follow along with the other guys.

Cal stands next to me as we enter the enormous vessel, full of bodyguards and droids. He ignites his lightsaber and gets closer to my ear.

"We're close to the vents that lead to this small control room. We'll have to get into their system and gather as much information as we can" He whispers, walking me through a small hallway.

He and the other Jedi stop on their tracks and immediately drop both of the droids standing there. Cal turns on his heels and approaches me, handing me a blaster gun. One I was supposed to carry around but am too fucking scared to do it.

"You might wanna use it this time" He reaches out for a pocket knife strapped on his ankle and offers it to me as well. "I didn't say you'll have to. Just for self-defense".

He glances up at me with a tender look on his face. This man gives his life to protect me and I'd do the same if I could. I mean, I do but not the same way he does of course.

I just nod at everything he says and we look up at the vent. I'm not doing this alone, am I?

If I had a dollar for everytime he uses his force for mind reading, I would be such a rich person right now. "I'm going with you" He adds.

Getting in a vent with a duffel bag is probably one of the worst scenarios I never thought about. We were dragging our bodies while he tried to drag the bag without making much noise, but obviously not being very cautious with the tools, the gears and other objects in there. We get to the room, me behind Cal as he shoots his blaster against the soldiers. I can't feel my legs at this point, and it's not even because we're in such a small space.

He drops on his feet first, glancing around the room, before looking up at me. He shoots both arms up, waiting for me to jump in as well. I don't know how I was able to pull a stunt like that since I'm afraid of heights. And I mean 8 feet is already too much for me. Cal grabs my hips and slowly puts me down, a large smile on his face.

"There you go, James Bond!" He mocks, arching his back as I swat him on the chest.

"Shut up, smartass" I can barely speak as I feel my voice falter from the stress and the adrenaline.

He walks over a large control panel, hundreds of different colored buttons and keys. They have pretty much a huge system for such a small room. I mean, if there's a bigger room then this is just a gist. First things first, I had to disable the security camera before someone came bursting into the door. I sit on the big chair and Cal leans against the desk next to me. I'm sure he has no idea what the hell I'm doing. I use a small device to hack into the system and quickly find the program to the security camera. 

They clearly need a better safety system, because it's too easy to get into their computer. Either that, or it's a trap. But I'd rather believe they're just that stupid. I turn off the cameras, both of us making sure they're all shut down.

Next, I type in a few things on the keyboard, trying to find what exactly they need. Cal uses his pointer finger to make sure he's looking for the right folder, carefully reading every single word on the screen. "We need strategies folders, every spacecraft and architecture project. List of trades and traders they use".

He said it like he was writing down a fucking grocery shopping list.

I try not to send him a glare or even look at him like I'm pissed. So I just go straight to the point. "Might as well just wipe out the entire computer, Kestis. This might take hours!".

"You can just add them to the device you have?" I swear to God, he can't be that serious.

"You're smart, Cal. Use your head. How big do you think these files are? They're all programs, it's a heavy stack of files" I start to get freaked out with the idea of being there for too long.

"Okay, right I'm sorry if I'm a newbie at technology" He adds dramatically. "Can you just drag the list and the strategies folders then?".

I move the mouse right away, bringing everything to my device, waiting for the system to calculate the estimated time. I can't help but tap my fingernails over the desk while I wait for it. Cal doesn't seem too worried like I am, as though he carries a very serious look on his face.

"We've been in for ten minutes. We probably still have a good half an hour left" He says, still leaning next to me, looking at the watch on his wrist.

"Considering this ship can blow up when we least expect it, I don't think it's good" I look at him like I'm not feeling well. He reaches my right arm and folds his big hand around it, giving it a light squeeze.

"We'll know before it happens, darling" Cal reassures me as his hand goes up and down on my arm in a comforting attempt.

Fifteen fucking minutes. I'm gonna throw myself off the ship. He uses his comlink to let the others know, which they all agree. For the first time, Anakin goes in the line and says he's trying to make a trade. It was all a set up as Cal explained.

The remaining seven minutes turned into a disaster, when a loud blast echoed through one of the hallways outside the room. Then an alarm went off and the lights switched to a dim green light. I just wish they won't turn off any other system before I can transfer everything, otherwise this would be just a waste of time and job. We looked at each other, he was gripping his lightsaber tightly waiting for something to happen, while I held the blaster just for the sake of it. There was another loud burst from a distance, the red head sprinted closer to me.

"Is everyone good?" He asked through the comlink, no one answered. "Damn it" He muttered.

"We need to get out of here before it gets worse!" I try to step in and figure out a way for us to get out. He didn't seem to listen. "Cal!".

"We're closing in on the ship. We noticed a few explosions around" Poe finally chimes in, but not with good news.

Why is it never good?

And then Skywalker called out again, this time shouting words I couldn't understand. I twist my head to the side and look at Cal with desperation.

"It's a code, they're attacking us" He immediately watched as I stood up from the chair. "Hey, look at me! I'm here, you're fine okay?".

Definitely far from being fine. He then proceeded to talk but I'm too busy being stunned to care about it. His voice started to get muffled and I felt like my vision was getting blurry. Is this even the right time to faint or have a panic attack? He shakes both of my arms calling out my name, and I slowly blink a few times before staring back at him.

"For fuck's sake, (Y/N/N). Listen to me" He then places his hands over my face, forcing me to look him in the eyes. "Please, listen. I need to go back there and help them. There's a digital lock on the door, they can't get through if you block it. They'll need to blow it up to get to you".

And you think it's hard for them to do it? That won't be enough.

Again, he furrows his brows and keeps holding my face. "Stop with the overthinking, I can hear it louder. Look, I'll manage it. I'll be back in no time, just wait for the files to finish and you wipe out the rest, fuck it. We don't care!"

I try to agree with the plan, but it was just too hard to keep up with everything. Before he turns on his back to leave the room, Poe speaks up again.

"There's a General lying on the floor, he seems to be injured. It's on Block D" He states before going off again.

This time, me and Cal share the same look. Now he seems more concerned than I do. I follow his gaze up the vent we came from, nudging himself up as he grips the edge literally vanishing. I call out to him, but he doesn't answer.

"Shit!" My hands are shaking so bad, I can't even type without missing the keys. "Shit, shit, shit".

Two minutes. Just give us two minutes and we're out. I hear a lot of grunting up on the room, the floor above me filled with noises and shuffling. The locked door starts pounding and I look straight ahead, fright starting to wash over my body.

"Poe" I have no fucking idea what I'm doing. "Are you there?".

"Definitely here, Miss. How are you holding up?" He asks.

"Do you see any of them? There's someone trying to break in and I don't know what I'm gonna do!" My heart is racing and it feels like I'm going to have a stroke in the middle of the room.

"Just talk to me, alright? How long until it's done?" His voice sounds comforting from the other side until he shouts. "R2! Not that guy, he's friendly!".

I have no idea what's going on outside but I try to shrug it off. "Two minutes! My hands are shaking so bad that I'm not sure I can shoot whoever comes in".

"Okay, not so bad" It takes him another second to keep talking. "I remember I learned a breathing technique, we're doing it together alright?".

I forget he's not next to me and I nod, but I feel like he got that anyway because he started counting and walking me through it. Breathe in and count to 4. Then count to 4 breathing out. Repeat.

"Now, hold your blaster up. Focus on anything as a target and breathe. When you inhale, you count one second and shoot. Don't wait, just shoot. If you miss it, just keep shooting" He explains, wasting his time giving me attention instead.

It makes me feel bad that someone has to do it when he could've been minding his own task. But I'm really appreciative either way. I don't know where the fuck Cal is.

"Don't forget to use anything for hiding and leverage. And please, don't forget to bring back the device" Nice one, Poe. Imagine being in danger like this and not even being able to remember one simple thing.

"Okay, thank you, commander" I breathe through my mouth and grasp the blaster.

Looking over the computer screen, I see that there's only forty seconds left and the door is about to burst open. At the same time, I hear Poe for the last time.

"We're sharing a beer when we land in Coruscant. I wanna learn some technology tricks" I barely have time to laugh as I watch the door sling open.

Okay, breathe. One. Shoot.

Shit.

I miss it by inches. From across the room, I look at Anakin giving me a snide stare as the blast just crossed past his shoulder. I gasp from the outcome and the sudden surprise, but he doesn't give me time to process everything as he shouts at me. His eyes are pure angriness and his shoulders are stiffened.

"Come on, I don't have all the time in the world!" Anakin waits by the door as I quickly set the system to wipe everything out and grab the device before we sprinted out of there.

We rushed with him behind me, there was a mess all over the place and the blaring alarm was deafening. I couldn't even aim while running, my hands were sweating and I was afraid of tripping on my foot. He kept dodging the attacks as well as blocking them from coming at me. This is the most attention I'm going to get from him and it's kinda funny given he hates me.

Anakin pulled a hand over my shoulder to guide me towards the hangar, my eyes shifting to take notice of what was incoming. I tried to at least shoot some of the droids but I was terrible at it.

"Grievous just left the hangar with an escape pod" Cal spoke up after a while and I let out a heavy and long exhale. "Knock down these fucking droids and hurry up!"

I didn't understand the seriousness in his voice, the Jedi Knight behind me still hasn't said a word yet and I have no idea what I'm actually doing at this point. Shooting at them and missing doesn't quite help knocking them down faster and I swear I can hear Anakin just groaning in frustration.

Out of nowhere my arm gets yanked back by a guard droid, pulling me over a room and wrapping its robotic arm around my neck. As if I was panicking already, this time I was pretty sure I was going to collapse. I tried to shove myself off from the tight grip, but it only made me flinch more.

"Drop your weapons, Master Skywalker" It said with their gun stuck to my temple.

I looked at him with such fright, my eyes were desperately crying for help. Anakin frowned, using his flesh hand to hold the lightsaber while the other one he used to pull back using his force.

"Let her go!" He screamed, bloodshot eyes and blue irises staring at the droid holding me. "I said let her fucking go!".

"I'm sorry, Master. We have a mission of our own to do" The droid said before managing to leave me unconscious on the floor.

Anakin:

Fuck. Shit. Motherfucker. Fucking cunt.

I kneel in front of her as she lies unconscious on the floor. She seems to be breathing, but I have no idea what this cocksucker did to her. I didn't expect my mission to be such a disastrous piece of shit. As she's still out, I look back at the droid that's staring at me with a puzzling look on its face.

I know how to read droids' faces and it's a gift from heaven. It's easy to trick them when I want.

"What did you do?" I shout and use my hands to shove it back with the force. I tap her face a few times, she doesn't even flinch. My voice barely comes out as a whisper to avoid the other droids to find me.

How much worse can it get?

I grab her, sliding my arms under her torso and lifting her up in a quick motion. At least she's easy to carry. Through my comlink, Cal starts getting riled up and spitting words like he was worried about something. And then I remember about their friendship.

Fuck me.

I try to ignore all the cursing through my ear, at the same time as I pull (Y/N) up on my shoulder, her body swinging as I run faster. I can't dodge all the attacks at once, but I maneuver myself avoiding getting us both killed. My lightsaber slashes them, knocking them down making it easier to get to the hangar.

"I have her, Kestis! Will you shut the fuck up now?" My voice screeches when I yell at him and my throat hurts.

"Why doesn't she answer her fucking comlink, then? Did you kill her, Skywalker?" His voice started to annoy me, my head was hurting from all the situation. I groan loud enough for him to listen.

"Yeah sure, I killed her and now I'm bringing her body myself because I'm just that smart. She's fucking unconscious, relax!"

And now he's just being even louder and insufferable.

Poe spoke up, his voice emerging like an angel sent from God. "Alright, guys. Let's just settle down, we're not at kindergarten".

I roll my eyes at his statement, rushing towards the hangar. The only ship in good shape was one of theirs, and Cal was standing in front of it. He was pacing around, hands on his hips, his forehead was creased and when he saw us he bolted forward.

"What the fuck happened?" The redhead asked in dread, throwing his arms up.

"We don't have time for bickering right now, Cal. Just help me get her up inside!" I swear my head was going to explode anytime soon. "A droid pulled up some shit on her and she just blacked out".

Could've said it sooner, he would probably understand. He looks at me like he knows something, but I don't bother asking.

"It was probably a spell or something. We need to lay her down" He says sternly as we approach the back of the vehicle and drop her on a cushioned bench.

"This is not what I planned for this goddamn assignment!" I mumble before turning on my back to both of them, heading to the cockpit.

"Well she got the fucking device, you should be glad she could do it and not die either!" He spat back, his hands holding her feet as he props her on the bench.

I just turn away from him making my way to my seat, turning on the gears. Hopefully we'll be back sooner than I expect, I just want to take a long shower and be with Luke for a while.

"We're good to go?" Dameron asks, his voice in a relieved tone as he watches us leave the hangar.

"Yes, commander" I mirror his tone and fly off the starship.

My mind eases as we leave it behind, I feel my hands grip the yoke from the ship tight. We didn't get to do the trade, Grievous noticed our plan way before we could get ahead of them. They attacked us in a matter of seconds, bolting at us with no time to figure out an escaping route.

This one mission is hours away from Coruscant, so it was going to be a pain in the ass to sit this close to Kestis. The moment I realized I had to be next to him it just made me pissed. I don't care about (Y/N) on the back, she tried to help and she barely knows how to blast a gun.

I won't complain about how Cal helped the team out there, as a matter of fact. But I still can't stand seeing his face, considering we just confronted each other the other day. The guy always means good to people, but it doesn't stop me from hating his guts after what he pulled on me during our meetings.

Almost two hours after we left Grievous' ship, we were almost entering the Coruscant atmosphere. That was when she finally woke, a grunt escaping from her lips as she finally took in where she was. Cal helps her lean against the wall, while she places a hand over her head.

"Holy shit" That's her first words after waking up. She can't help but smile at the achievement she made.

I watch as she still keeps the smile on her face, pulling the device between her fingers and raising the object in front of her eyes. It took me seconds to notice I myself had a side smile against my will. The red head leans for a hug, both of them laughing.

I can't help but clear my throat before I regret doing this. "Uh- Good job out there, geek. The team is proud of you" I barely speak and the guy seems to remark that.

"What did you say? We can't hear it!" He says it out loud on purpose, and I feel my hands balling into fists. "Did you just compliment (Y/N/N)?"

"Don't push it, Kestis" My eyes roll to the back of my head, I push myself off the wall. "Good to see you're up".

They stare at my figure quite shocked, their faces almost the same as their mouths hanging open in such a surprise. I'm very aware that's the kind of effect I cause on people when I'm being nice, and I know I'm not really the golden boy of the year either.

But I can't just avoid the fact that, without her, we wouldn't have information about General Grievous and his army. Even though it didn't end how we expected it, that's a win after all.

Before I walk back to the cockpit, I hear her cracked voice speak up. Like she was embarrassed of talking to me. "Thank you for saving me out there".

My head nods before I turn on my heels, it almost feels like I've switched back to the young Anakin. Real smooth, Skywalker.

@jackie-on-the-loose @adorbzliz @himesuedi @kingdomhate @himesuedi @cl0esblogg

[chosenimagines]

Stuck (Daiki Aomine)

Fandom: (L) Kuroko's Basketball

Summary: After a long school day Akari has to take the elevator -which she is scared off. To make things worse she gets stuck and not alone.

Prompts: -

AU: Satsuki having an adopted sister the same age as her

Tropes: -

OC: Reader named Akari Momoi

Warning: Passion & Making out (I guess?) and Panic Attack !!!

Language: English

Request: -

Word count: ~2.6k

A/N: This is my first one shot for KnB and my first one shot for a character like Daiki so please be nice to me

▪️❤️▪️🧡▪️💛▪️💚▪️💙▪️💜▪️

____________________________________________

Home. The only clear thought I could still form after this long, grueling day. However, I didn't need any other thought.

Today had been one of the worst days I've had in a long time. Probably the worst.

But luckily for me, I was finally able to draw a line under today. I just had to get out of this building. But I couldn't escape as quickly as I had hoped during my lunch break. To make matters worse, I had twisted my ankle due to an unfortunate encounter and could not take the stairs as usual. Instead, I was forced to ride the damn elevator...

The thing about me and elevators was that I was terrified if I even walked past one. But I had no memory of why I was afraid. It had always been that way and had never really bothered me. My fear hadn't affected me once in my entire life. There was always the possibility for me to move through the stairwell in every building. Only today I was forced to get into an elevator.

With shaky fingers, I pressed the button and crossed my arms in front of my chest as soon as it lit up. My heartbeat sped up with every passing second. Each breath was shorter than the previous one. I began to bob up and down. From my toes over the balls of my feet to my heels and back to my toes.

I had a new thought that filled my brain in a continuous loop. Why, why, why, why, why...

A moment that felt like a small eternity passed until the metal doors opened. Although my legs wanted to fail me and my muscles became more and more tense, I managed to enter this machine straight out of hell.

I kept my eyes down, clinging to the thought of home. I had longed for this all day. I wasn't far from it so I need to keep my compsure!

Nevertheless, my heart, my head and my body were flooded with panic. I only had to get through one minute in here and then I made it. Only sixty seconds and I was liberated from this day. But only if I didn't die the next minute because of heart failure or lack of oxygen!

Just before the doors closed, a hand slid into the gap and the doors pushed apart again. As soon as the elevator doors had fully reopened, a tall, muscular figure filled the metal frame. I didn't have to look up to know who I had in front of me. For a moment I pressed my lips together.

I could still see the school corridor by a five centimetre wide gap. In a second, this construction would start moving and I was never more scared.

But there was nothing to worry about, because thousands of people rode elevators every day. Nothing happened to them. Therefore, the probability was high that nothing would happen to me either. But my thoughts circled around all kinds of scenarios! One worse than the other.

Only the appearance and the aura that surrounded him revealed his identity. Daiki Aomine. The person who had broken my sister's heart. The person who gave Satsuki the feeling that he didn't care about their friendship. The person who had left me with the shards and tears. The man who had broken my heart without even suspecting anything about it.

The day Daiki had changed and no longer showed up for practice was the day everything had changed.

Just the memory, of the look in Satsuki's eyes, made my heart contract every single time. That's why I sat in the stands at every practice and studied, because on that gray day, Satsuki had asked for it while we stood in front of the Teiko school. I probably served as a distraction. My presence against Daiki's absence. It didn't bother me if I could ease her pain over her best friend's change, I would always do it for my sister.

For a second, I let my gaze slide to his face. It was just as always. This expression had become a habit in the last two years. Cold, arrogant and remarkably bored. A shame for such an attractive face and a formerly sunny souled person...

My panic caught up with me and suddenly Daiki was completely forgotten. I lowered my eyes and began to stare at the velvety floor again.

Why did the doors close so slowly?

Did it take just as long before?

Was this a sign that something was wrong with this elevator?

Shouldn't I rather get out and try to walk through the stairwell ignoring the pain?

Why on earth hadn't I walked down the stairs anyway?!

My right leg suddenly bounced up and down. With every panicking thought, the wobble became stronger. It became more and more violent until you could see the trembling in every part of my body.

My white hair slipped forward, covering my face. A few strands stuck to my sweaty cheeks.

I lost all control over my body and was willing to give it up voluntarily. I had difficulty suppressing my reaction to my major fear. So what was the smartest thing to do? Regain control and suppress my emotions or let my panic run wild?

Why didn't it move anymore?

I didn't come to a conclusion, because my streak of bad luck continued. With a violent jerk, the elevator stopped. I lost my balance and fell onto the ground. The pain in my ankle intensified and tears filled my eyes.

But the pain quickly faded into the background when the elevator didn't start moving again. The light bulb lost its luminosity and bathed the elevator in dim light. With that, my self-control threatened to disappear into thin air.

What had happened to the light?

Will we crash?

Was the elevator really defective?

How could I get out of here?

Why did I step foot into this stupid elevator?

"Are you okay?" Daiki's deep, bored voice penetrated through my constantly moving thoughts. I jerked my head back. His navy blue eyes were directed at me. They didn't let me out of their sight, not even for a second. My jaw muscles loosened for the blink of an eye. But unfortunately that was all.

My panic grew as I couldn't find a solution. Of course not, because there could be no solution if you didn't know or understand the problem. Still, my eyes moved incessantly, looking for what wasn't there.

After a heavy swallow, I nodded. "Everything is fine," I muttered to myself as I lowered my head again. I couldn't maintain the eye contact. It was too intense for me and in panic mode I hated keeping eye contact.

In addition, my pupils were looking for a solution to this problem in an uncoordinated way, with me reaching for the metal bar above me and pulling myself onto my healthy foot.

Suddenly, Daiki's fingers slid under my chin and gripped it gently. He then pushed it up and moved closer to me. I felt the heat of his body. He was standing close in front of me, that his rather athletic physique prevented me from continuing to look around. Now I was forced to look into Daiki's eyes, in which something had changed.

"You're not okay," he contradicted me. His thumb stroked my chin. "You're shaking."

"This might be a bad time to tell you that I am scared of elevators," I mumbled. Meanwhile, I put my still trembling hands on his chest and firmly pushed him away from me to free myself from him. As soon as I had distance from him, I began to walk up and down in the cramped space.

Pain shot from my ankle to my knee. It intensified my limp and made it visible. But that didn't stop me! I had to move in order to be able to control my panic attack somehow. So I limped from wall to wall. Nevertheless, it didn't do me any good. My heart was racing and I was still short of breath, which was worsened by my sprained ankle.

I couldn't believe that I had took an elevator despite my fear. Something I had avoided all my life! Then I got stuck in the elevator in which, to make matters worse, the light didn't work properly. To top it all off, Daiki Aomine was here with me - of all the people at To oh High School.

I had to get out of here! Right. Now.

I didn't know how to survive this situation. A persistent panic attack combined with shooting pain in my foot and there was no light at the end of the tunnel.

I kept my statement. Today was one of the worst days ever!

"God, here!" Daiki grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me to his side. I stumbled over to him, flinching. My foot hurt so badly.

"Just hold my hand. We are going to be fine," he sighed.

Without saying another word, Daiki slid his fingers between mine and interlaced them. It distracted me. But only for the fraction of a second...

"You don't know!" I snapped at the blue-haired man. Involuntarily, my free hand ran through my hair and the strands that had stuck to my face lined up again in place.

"This devilish machine doesn't move anymore and if there's another jolt now, then the probability of us dying is damn high. The school is fucking empty and no one knows that we are here. So how are we supposed to get out of here, Daiki? The elevator could crash at any moment! Or we could run out of air if we have to wait here for too long-"

All my worries fell silent. But that's not all! All thoughts fell silent. Everything fell silent. Every cell of my body had found a new focus and they too fell silent in order to be able to concentrate. To be able to concentrate on Daiki. He took my breath away as he mixed the air he breathed with mine.

How did I got here you asked? Out of the sudden, Daiki had let go of my hand, stood up in front of me and placed both hands on my waist. After a second, filled with an intensely blazing gaze by these navy blue eyes, he pulled me close to him and put his lips on mine.

But it was not a soft or gentle kiss. This kiss was like Daiki Aomine, the ace of the court. Passionate, intense, strong and above all mesmerizing...

There was only one small detail that didn't suit Daiki. The desperation he put into that kiss.

Without letting our lips part for even a second, Daiki pushed me further and further back. As soon as my back brushed against the side wall of the elevator, he broke away from me. I moved my face after his, hoping to feel him on my lips again, but his lips were no longer on mine.

Nevertheless, I could feel his longing, his hunger. This wasn't enough for him! And it wasn't for me either. He had awaken something in me that I saw burning in his eyes.

His lips were so close in front of mine. Close enough to seduce me and far enough away that I couldn't reach them. Suddenly he came closer and brushed my lips.

"Jump," Daiki murmured against my mouth. Being drunk on him, I followed the instruction and jumped, launching off one foot.

It took Daiki no effort to catch me. He put my legs around his waist and he again pressed himself against my lips and body.

My fingers had a minf of on their own, ruffled his hair and pulled it gently.

Daiki kissed me dizzy while he let out a soft moan. Despite the dizziness and the unfamiliar tingling on my skin, I didn't want Daiki to ever stop. That was my only wish. Especially when he kissed me just like this...

But today I really was out of luck and didn't get anything I asked for. Again Daiki broke away from me. Immediately I longed for him. Panting, he looked into my eyes. I returned his gaze, breathing just as heavily.

His eyes captivated me. There was something in them that I hadn't been allowed to see for the last two years. Love and his gaze was soft. The shadow of the Daiki I had loved. The Daiki I used to admire.

"I won't let anything happen to you, Akari. Not in this fucking elevator. Not anywhere. I swear," he murmured.

My hands slowly slid from the back of his head down to the back of his neck, where I interlaced my fingers.

"Why?" I wanted to know.

For years, he had hardly paid any attention to me. For him, basketball, his friends from the Generation of Miracles and Satsuki were the only important thing in his life. He had never seen me. Really seen me. Our last real conversation was an eternity ago and the reason for it was a school project. We didn't have a close relationship back then and we certainly didn't have one now.

I fell in love from afar and stayed there. Far away from him. For Satsuki and for myself.

"Because I have loved you since the moment you stumbled into my arms. The first time you entered that stupid gym at Teiko with Momoi. You were laughing so loud that every boy looked at you. But you didn't even notice it and your foot hit one of the boys' bags. You fell right into my arms and that's the moment you never left my head. Funny, enough, you filled just as a large space as basketball, which I never wanted to admit. I never wanted it to be true, so I ignored it until I just saw your panic-filled eyes and the only thing I wanted is to hold you in my arms. To keep you there so nobody could hurt you or take you away from me," Daiki gushed out.

At the same time, our eyes widened in disbelief. It was obvious by the look on his face that he hadn't intended to say anything about this. I on the other hand couldn't believe what he was saying.

"You hurt Satsuki...", it blurted out of me. "I can't love you. Not like this."

"You love me?", I echoed. Still stunned.

But I knew that Daiki wasn't lying or retracting words. He stood by every word that left his lips and always did.

"I do," he replied. He was so serious and I recognized today's Daiki again.

"I hurt Satsuki? You love me?" Daiki frowned. With a puzzled look on his face, his index finger ran along the contours of my face.

I lowered my gaze. I couldn't bear to look him in the eye. I missed the memory of him, before the Generation of Miracles were ruined by the coach at Teiko, and I missed the moment just a seconde ago far too much for that.

"Does it bother her so much that I don't come to practice?" he wanted to know. His thumb stroked my chin. I was tempted to melt away, but that wasn't the right moment.

"Yes. You hurt Satsuki. Deeply," I murmured.

Again, Daiki's fingers slid under my chin and pushed it up. Now I had to look into those endless dark blue eyes.

Those beautiful, stubborn, dark blue eyes...

"If you really believe that, then I can't help you," I scoffed.

"It's what came along with me missing practice, isn't it?", Daiki concluded. I nodded.

"You should talk to her, Daiki," I said.

"I will."

The tips of our noses brushed against each other for a split second. I hitched my breath.

"Could you do me a favour?" he asked and I was completely taken in by him again. It was like a curse...

"Sure," I assured him, but I wasn't really focused on his words. His proximity completely threw me off my game.

"Say my name again," Daiki whispered. His breath hit my lips and sent a shiver down my face directly to my spine. "It sounds so pretty coming from your beautiful lips."

As if to underline his words, he gently ran his thumb over my lower lip and pulled it down slightly.

A soft sigh escaped me. "Daiki..."

"That's all I wanted it to hear, baby."

Suddenly the elevator started moving again. In a panic, I pressed myself even closer to Daiki and hid my face in the crook of his neck. I had expected everything but that.

But Daiki didn't let himself be disturbed. "Everything is okay, baby. Nothing bad is going to happen. We are almost out of here. I'll protect you. And I promise you to fix everything. I want you to be mine..."

____________________________________________

▪️❤️▪️🧡▪️💛▪️💚▪️💙▪️💜▪️

Taglist: -

Kuroko's Basketball Masterlist

Masterlist of Masterlists

[gaybitchfx]

-🍓 Character(s): Douma

-🍓 Type of reader: M!Reader

-🍓 Category: NSFW

-🍓 Warning(s): possessive behavior, manipulative love & Stockholm Syndrome

-🍓 Edited: ❌

Your relationship with Douma was a healthy one from the very beginning. You both loved each other equally and showed it in many ways let it be by touch, gifts, etc... That changed for the worst.

Douma began to love you far too much to where he’d put a tracker in your phone so he could know where you were at all times.

If you came home even a few minutes late you’d get an ear full and sometimes a couple of slaps.

He’d comfort you right after, saying how he didn’t mean it and that he was just looking out for you. Being so stupid, you forgave him all because you loved him. How stupid you were. Before you knew it you were kept in the house not being able to leave.

“I’m only doing this because I love you okay?” Douma would say as he kissed your tear-stained cheeks and held your shaking hand which was caused by a recent panic attack. “I just want you to continue loving me no matter what, my love.” That ‘love’ was far gone. But you did as he asked so he wouldn’t hurt you. A month had passed and you decided to go with your plan to leave this cursed place. It was late at night and Douma was of course, asleep.

You knew where the extra key was and decided to try and use that to leave through the front door. What a silly move. When you made your way to the door your hands were shaking, the thought of freedom being on the tip of your tongue as you fiddled with the key. That was until you felt someone’s hand gently caress the back of your head before yanking your hair. A scream left your mouth as Douma dragged you, his grip on your hair tight and firm as he lead you to the bathroom. Surprisingly, the bathtub was already filled with water almost like he knew you were going to try and escape.

Try and leave him. As you cried for Douma to let you go that fell on deaf ears and before you knew it your head was forced under the water. You would kick and scratch, your screams muffled by the water. You could barely make out Douma’s face from under the water but just by a glimpse of his eyes, he had the intent to kill you. If you’re dead he wouldn’t have to worry about you trying to leave him. Douma wrapped his hands around your neck which was still submerged under the water till your flailing began to become weaker.

That’s when he pulled you back up. Letting out a gasp you instantly began crying and there Douma was, comforting you. “Don’t cry my sweet, I’m here~ Do you promise to only stay by me?” Douma pressed small kisses on the back of your neck as you nodded your head. “Yes..” You crooked out, your voice horsed. Since that day, you were chained by the leg to a metal pole that allowed you to go to places you needed to go to.

Everything was babyproofed from the number of times you’ve tried hurting yourself, but that didn’t last long. After being like this for so long this became a normal thing for Douma and especially you. To you this was love. Douma depended on you, but not as much as you depended on him. Always greeting him when he’d come home, sitting with him by the table, and eating together.

Do things ‘normal’ couples did. “I love you so much.” You hummed as you hugged Douma, he held you close with a smile present on his lips.

“I love you more.” He said and kissed your forehead, your tired eyes staring back into him with no light shining in them like the first time you two met. Your eyes used to be filled with life, but now they resembled the dead eyes of a fish. One of your friends had called the police after not seeing you for such a long time. They were concerned and had a feeling Douma had something to do with this. Officer Tengen had brought backup just in case. When they were finally inside everything was a mess. Trash bags were piled up onto each other in corners, the whole house was barely illuminated with light.

Their attention was brought to the sound of chains dragging against the floor. Tengen signaled the other officers to have their guns drawn as they slowly moved towards the room. “Freeze!!” Tengen would shout as he pointed his gun into the room only to see you on the floor and Douma brushing your hair.

In a matter of seconds, everyone knew what was going on and instantly put Douma in cuffs, him screaming profanity after profanity as he was dragged away from you. You on the other hand were taken for treatment both physically and mentally. You never stopped screaming for Douma on the way to the hospital till you tired yourself out.

By the time you arrived at the hospital, you didn’t do anything. Only asking for Douma and Douma only. When they told you he wouldn’t be around you anymore you lost it. Grabbing everything in sight and throwing it at the officers, doctors, and nurses. Even trying to hurt yourself to the point they had to tie you to the bed. When your friends came to see you you nearly hurt one of them, the same goes for your parents. That was not the person they knew before.

The damage has already been done, there’s nothing they could do besides pray.

Pray for your sanity and mental well-being to go back to how it originally was.

[glorified-red]

Autopilot (Damian Wayne x Reader)

summary: After witnessing an event that hit just a little too close to home, you were left at the mercy of your own memories. All the usual tactics Damian knew weren't helping. It's a good thing he had a little helper.

word count: 4,070~

warnings: flashback during a panic attack, disassociation and driving through it, reference to past physical abuse (not specified from who or if it's domestic, it's very vague. But is heavily implied to be from a male), depictions of physical abuse in terms of verbs (punch, kick, hands on body, etc. Nothing more. Aka no bodily harm, just the feeling), and reference to passing out from a panic attack in the past.

Nothing quite like real world events to jerk me out of a writer's block, aye? This is based on a personal experience from just a few days ago so if there is a complaint with this story being too specific, I will ignore it. This fic means a lot to me so please be kind to it. Dont hesitate to let me know what you think of it! For those wondering, yes, I did finish writing that essay. Have not submitted it because I would love to read it and edit it at not 1 am, so that's a task for tomorrow while I dye my hair.

Autopilot — acting or functioning without conscious thought, as a result of routine or habit.

That was one way to describe what was happening. 

From the second you put your helmet back on to the moment your hand closed the front door, you couldn’t pinpoint a single frame in between. The entire world around you was a blur, even as you zipped through Gotham traffic on a busy afternoon. 

Distantly, you knew you should be aware of the wind hitting your skin, especially as it assaulted your jacket with its wispy breath. Each red light and your boots hit asphalt. You should’ve been able to register that feeling shoot up each of your legs, maybe feel the way your body shifted into an upright position.

 But instead, your eyes were blank behind the tinted lens of a bike helmet. 

You didn’t even try to fix it, not yet anyway. Not when there were cars blocking you in from every angle; not when one wrong move—one stuttered breath—could mean your bike jerking into a freefall. 

So you didn’t even try to fight for awareness. If you did, maybe your hands would be gripping the handlebars a little tighter, maybe even twisting the kevlar of your gloves into the grooves until you felt something. You would’ve rubbed your hands down your thighs, dragging the fabric along your skin just enough to force your body into consciousness. 

But you didn’t. 

You just let yourself run on autopilot. 

It was safer that way anyway. Safer than having the worst panic attack of your life while driving at least. You didn’t even want to think about how Damian was going to react when he found out you were driving this far down into your subconscious—on your motorcycle no less. 

He really was going to murder you one of these days. But then again, you had countless retorts ingrained into your repertoire, countless callbacks to days where it wasn’t you in the driver's seat doing this, but the hypocrite himself. 

So you didn’t worry enough about it. You gave it maybe two seconds of thought before you put your helmet on and rolled out of the parking lot. Should you call Damian? Wouldn’t it just be easier for him to pick you up and worry about the bike later? 

Your brain sighed, maybe your body did on instinct, if it did, you wouldn't have known. He was at home—which was barely fifteen minutes away, you could survive that long—waiting for you, it’d worry him too much to get a phone call two hours after you were supposed to be home. 

Somewhere between hues of gray, your legs guided you through the maze of a familiar home. There was a buzz in your ears, like the poor organs were trying desperately to comprehend the noise around you but fell short every time. They were filled with water then dried with cotton only for it to dissipate with water once more: a ferocious cycle that left you a stranger to the greeting happening right before you. 

You shouldered passed . . . something? It didn’t matter. If it did, surely your brain would let you know later . . . right? Then came the mechanical routine of finding a place to bring yourself back. But when every wall looked the same and your boots trudged against the carpet—Damian was so gonna gripe about shoes in the house later—it felt like a losing game. 

So you stuttered to a stop, somewhere. Arguably the worst place because the only tether you had to the outside world was the ground under your boots, which you couldn’t even feel because there was at least an inch of rubber tread between your reality and everyone else's. 

The same buzz hit your ears. Maybe if you tried hard enough, you could blame the disconnect on the inner padding of the helmet stuffed against your head. It’s worked before, it’s not like it’s easy to hear with this thing on, let alone when your brain didn’t even want you to. 

You could start to feel the autopilot wearing thin, the remnants of it dissolving with each passing second you remained idle. You tried to tap each of your fingers against your thumb one at a time to cling to what little autopilot was left. All you got from your body was a single twitch in your thumb. 

A tap, a click, and a slide. All sounds you saw rather than felt or heard yourself. The tinted panel in front of your eyes lifted slowly until your grays turned into greens. You could get lost in that green for eternity and your soul would find contentment. You could find that green from memory, even when your eyes were filled with grays or your body turned blind to it. That green was one you would never lose. 

It came naturally, locking your eyes into his. You could almost laugh at the fact that the last wisp of autopilot was used connecting yourself to him, as if your body had formed a habit you didn’t even know about until now. 

You knew those eyes better than he did himself, even if he’d spent years staring at them before you. It was an easy victory when you traced them in your memories. So you knew each crease of worry that outlined the narrowness they had at the moment, the subtle squint as he tried to reach you. 

Unfortunately for the both of you, he succeeded. 

Your next breath came right before your lungs were punched by reality. The sheer weight of it was enough for you to struggle for air. It was like you were trapped as Atlas once was. But instead of holding the weight on your shoulders, you were crushed underneath all the rubble, having failed to keep everything upright. 

You choked out a sob, hating the way your own breath ricocheted off the helmet back into your skin. You were suffocating. Your hands shot to the offending metal and clawed at each of the safety latches built in. Shaky fingers didn’t have enough dexterity to succeed which only made you gasp harder. 

In an instant, there were skilled hands overtaking your own, practiced enough to succeed where you had failed. 

“—eathe, I’ve got y—”

Newfound peripherals blindsighted you, they were both a blessing and a curse. While the new vision made it easier to protect yourself, the responsibility of having to do so was far too heavy a burden. You wanted to keep living in your tunnel vision and pretending it was safe there. 

You were still suffocating. Air was scarce to come by and when it did travel through you, it scorched your lungs until you considered if air was truly worth the fight if it hurt so much. The same shaky hands grasped for the collar of your jacket, suddenly far too tight against your neck. It was as if the fabric itself was choking you and not Reality. Thready hands were better to imagine than calloused ones. 

You didn’t notice your feet tripping backwards until your back collided with a wall, you didn’t even care, you just wanted this stupid jacket off. Agile hands swifty unlatched everything, unclasping safety mechanics and helped shrug the leather bind off of your skin. 

“—ok, it’s off. Brea—”

The wall was solid; the wall was good; the wall was safe. You let yourself slide all the way down until you hit the floor, your green easily followed. You coughed on an exhale, your inhale having hurt far too badly to finish. 

Your hands settled together behind your neck, fighting to grab at something, might as well protect your pulse points. 

“—off?”

Your gaze struggled to lift up to him without staggering. When it settled back into his calming hue, you choked out a response: “What?” 

Realistically, you exhaled far too much on the word when you received another kick to the chest but you figured he would get the gist. He’s smart. 

“Do you want your boots off?” His hands floated in the space between you both, where your bent legs ended and his crouch began. 

With a tilted comprehension, it took a few breaths—albeit pretty quick ones—for the words to sink in. When they did, you jerked out a nod. Without hesitation, he made quick work of velcro, buckles, and zippers, forcing you to trudge through heightened awareness alone. 

Awareness was always worse than letting your mind shift into sand to pass through fingers with ease, free from the pain those fingers always left. Especially when Reality was combing through sand with a sharp comb, breaking each particle down to the atom. Water couldn’t wash away atoms the same way it could sand. 

Your lungs convulsed again just as your socked feet felt the bite of cold tile, boots long since forgotten. 

“Breathe,” he said simply, telegraphing his movements slowly. “Can I take off your gloves?” 

You liked the safety of where your hands were, but feeling a leather mesh on your neck wasn’t exactly the most comforting feeling.

You jerked your hands out slowly, seeing for yourself just how much you were shaking compared to his steady hands. His movements were slow and deliberate, testing the waters to see how you reacted to his touch on your skin. The second both hands felt air instead of fabric, they retreated back to safety.

“You need to breathe.” 

You shook your head, feeling the muscles under your hands twist along with the motion. “I—” you choked, “I can’t” 

“Yes you can.” Damian shifted from his crouch to sit before you. “You’ve been through this before and you always come out of it, don’t you?” 

You squeezed your eyes shut, hoping it would help somewhat. Another kick to the chest and you were back to scrambling. 

“ ‘t hurts,” you whined. 

“I know it does, but you have to breathe. Breathe with me.” You opened your eyes to look at him through the blur of watery tears. 

That was a mistake. 

Reality was finicky at best. It shifted like the waves in its fluidity, morphing into new forms and combining within itself. Your fingers twitched against your neck. 

Focus on the green. 

But then his hands slowly laid atop your knees, a familiar trick he did every time. Innocent touch, a tethered connection between you two to bring you back to him. The further the attack would go, the more weight he’d put into his palms until your legs unbent without your knowledge. It was an easy way to open your chest cavity to make breathing a little bit easier while making it seem like nothing is changing, especially when your brain is occupied with other things. 

But this time, his hands felt bigger, they felt more calloused, and held more weight in them. You jerked in an inhale. “Sto—stop touching me.” 

Immediately his hands lifted off of you. “Okay, I won’t touch you.” His palms raised in the air so you could see them, an emphasis to his word. “But we’re going to breathe together.” 

Damian waited a single moment for you to register his words, for your eyes to shift from his hands to his eyes, then finally, to his chest. 

“Breathe in.” He exaggerated his chest visually for you to replace touch. Usually there would be some comfort in the way your hand was guided to his sternum, fingers spread out to feel the fabric of his shirt and the way his chest rose with each inhalation, only to fall when he exhaled. Yet this time, his chest would’ve felt different and that thought alone was enough for your breath to stutter. 

“And out.” You envied the way he released his breath so slowly and with so much control where yours was rushed and clunky. 

He praised you all the same. “Good. Again. In,” he breathed in, you followed shortly after, “and out.” 

You fell out of the inhale before he did, your lungs quivering under an invisible hand. Your head hit the wall with a whine. “I can’t.” 

“You can,” he stressed. “I know you can. Try again.” 

You wheezed where he inhaled, you coughed where he exhaled. Your hands sunk from your neck to your chest, gripping on tight to the kevlar.

“That’s it,” he said, just before another set of breaths. You hated this part the most. You could live with the shakiness afterwards, the pain and the burn of your lungs once they finally settled down. You could ignore the feeling of being on edge for hours after, the feeling of fragility, like someone could blow and you’d wither away with the feeble wind. 

But the feeling of true hopelessness that came from this part was always the worst. You couldn’t fathom succeeding at this simple human task, a task that comes mechanically—completely on autopilot. Yet for some reason, it was a monumental task for you. 

Before Damian—and a little bit during—you let yourself get consumed by the darkness. You let the hands squeeze your lungs until your brain fizzled out, the consequences to be dealt with once you woke up. It was far easier than fighting for consciousness, especially when said consciousness was so painful. 

He didn’t like that very much. 

So here you were, clamoring your way through a breathing exercise as if it wasn’t the most painful thing in the world. As if your lungs weren’t burning with rage and your muscles weren’t aching with tension. 

As if you couldn’t feel hands all over your body with each step back into awareness.

As if you couldn’t hear and see things just passed Damian’s silhouette. 

“This isn’t working,” you bite out. Your head had sunk down to face the floor at some point. The carpet was a darker shade of beige than it was a moment ago. Maybe it was your shadow affecting it, but considering everything, you didn’t think so. “I need—” you choked. 

You saw the way Damian’s hands twitched against his pants, fighting to do something to help you. “Tell me what you need.” He tried searching your eyes like before, that tether was one that could bring up to him from just about anywhere. But you were studying the carpet as if it had wronged you on a visceral level. 

You closed your eyes, trying to think past the echoes of an old voice and the remnants of old touch. You were stuck in limbo, caught between two realities that somehow merged in a single moment. Another kick to the chest and your body caved inwards—the same way it had before. 

You could feel your grip on Damian’s reality fading. It was the one you’d prefer any day and it was the one you should be in. Not this one. Yet here you were, taking the hits of hands long in the past. 

But . . .

Damian. 

“When did we meet?” you demanded more so than asked, the words coming in and out with your breaths. 

Despite his shock—and extreme confusion—he didn’t hesitate to answer with a number of years that have passed you by. Questioning you, especially your needs, at this moment wasn’t going to help.

You shook your head, your legs twitching together and back apart, the muscles contracting at random. “What year?” you said, trying to keep your oxygen inside for just a second longer. 

He responded simply, your ears catching the sound with ease. The outside chatter cut down to a buzz. You breathed out a little slower. 

“How?” you breathed in, your inflection cut off just slightly. 

Damian didn’t waver. “We met in high school. I transferred in late and you were assigned as my peer guide to the Academy. You gave me a tour around campus to help figure out my schedule,” he paused, gauging your reaction before adding on just a bit more. “We ended up having a few classes together that year.” 

“How old—” you breathed in, “How old were we?” 

Damian blinked, his eyes shifting to the side as he recalled, probably doing some kind of mental math in his brain. “I started school when I was fourteen. You were probably fourteen or fifteen at the time.” 

You blinked your eyes open, your lungs expanding happily at the information. Realities were disconnecting slowly, each question cutting a strand of fate that had sewed them together. Since neither could coexist, this new information was proof that the voices were just that, the past. Damian didn’t exist in the same era of these voices—these hands—him being here was a testament in it of itself. 

The carpet was tinted just so, but it was enough to make it lighter. 

“What about now?” you asked. 

“What about now?” Damian echoed you, his confusion still prevalent in his voice. “What do you mean?”

You swallowed down the fire. “What year is it?” 

For someone so intelligent, he really was not catching on to what was happening. Knowing him, he was probably scanning your head for a concussion right about now. But he didn’t show it outwardly. As much as he was confused and incredibly concerned, this was helping. So even if he didn’t sign up for trivia night, he’d play along—and he was sure as hell gonna win. 

He responded factually. The math not only aligned, but since it was late into the year, it wasn’t exactly hard to remember. The buzz got even softer than before. You were able to breath out shakily, the intake was sharp in return but the progress was showing. 

“And the date?” 

Your eyes had closed softly, a sense of calm starting to breach through the anxiety. 

Damian’s response immediately shrouded that progress. Suddenly the voice was right next to your ear and a foot was on your chest, constructing any airflow from ever hoping to come to your lips. The same date. A stupid number that just so happened to align, an anniversary, was enough to derail everything. 

Damian’s voice turned to nothing but a buzz, a low rumble with a worried inflection. 

He had asked a question. That much you knew. But your eyes had opened to a shade of dark beige and dreary grays, completely at the mercy of a dissociative state. 

Even your hands lay limp from where they were resting between your knees, your wrists balanced atop the bony joints. You let it happen. You let your breath get squished underneath calloused hands along the back of your neck and a knee to the spine. You let your fingers go numb and your skin go cold as the room around you soured. 

Suddenly it was a different time and a different place entirely. 

Just dark beige and dreary grays. 

The thuds of footsteps were easily drowned out until it was a simple buzz, just a low static rumbling beneath your skin. 

But then your hands lifted at the feeling of fur underneath them. It was soft to the touch, the small fibers splitting away underneath your fingers. The fur shifted, it nosed in-between your pointer and middle finger before sliding down your palm, leaving a slight trail of warmth along your skin. 

Your fingers twitched, the ice around them thawing slowly with each press of warmth until you could interact with it yourself. The fur morphed from a body to a small head that could fit just along your palm. Whiskers pressed into your hand as it was used as a scratching post. A head bump and your palm raised with it, only to slide down the back automatically as if your hand had done it a thousand times before. 

Just along the back and up to the tip of the tail, just for the head to return for more scratches. You felt the tail wrap loosely around your ankle, shifting and swishing, but always remaining against you. 

You scratched at the chin, your chest feeling lighter when the gentle creature tilted their head back to accept more. Reality itself couldn’t deny the creature’s existence, even if they truly wanted your reality to morph into the past. 

Yet here it was, defying Reality, with nothing to say aside from a purr. Your hands touched black and your fingers graced white until you could make out the cat yourself, perched contently between your legs. 

“Alfie,” you sighed out, half out of astonishment and half out of relief. 

“I always seem to find you two together after a hard time,” came Damian’s voice, cutting straight through the static with his deep timbre. “He can help you where I can’t.” 

There was still a shake in your breath, your chest still rising and falling with great difficulty, more than Damian liked. He looked up at you briefly before looking back down at the precious cat, one that only seemed to like a few people on this earth. Even if he liked Damian, it was a hell of a taming. But with you, you two clicked instantly. 

Damian would never forget the day he found you holding Alfred, hugging him close and the content kitten doing nothing but hugging back with its smaller limbs. Alfred’s little head perched on your shoulder, eyes closed in pure bliss. You were swaying slowly, humming in harmony with the soft purrs omitting from the shorthair. 

You were waiting on him, that much he remembered. It was years after you two had met, just shortly after high school graduation and just before Damian started college. That was the blissful moment of limbo where it was just you two hanging out for the summer and getting his apartment together. 

That was the day Damian Wayne fell in love with you. 

So here you were, years later, yet all the same. 

“Alfred gave him to me my senior year,” Damian started. He knew you already knew Alfred’s origin, you were there. But for some reason, exact details of dates were helping you, so he was happy to recall a core memory. “He called it a graduation gift even though the meeting was pure happenstance. He didn’t want to admit the cat reminded him of me, but I knew.” 

You glanced up at Damian and he glanced back. 

He stated the year easily, the fricative consonants adding to his timbre. “That was the year I fell in love with you. I was nineteen. It started with prom night, I should have known what that feeling was by then. But it wasn’t until late summer that I finally realized I could see no other future than one that was beside you.” 

He pointed down at the fuzz ball that was now laying across your crossed legs. “It’s all because of him.” 

Your hands pressed into the fur and massaged the skin underneath gently until the final strand of fate was snapped. You looked into the green, seeing each shade of bright emerald and late spring, eucalyptus and summer leaves. 

You found your voice and it was among his, miles ahead of the distant voices of the past. You said the same year, finding that your consonants blended with his after being around him for so long. Your voices intertwined in some ways and diverged in others. 

“That was the year I fell in love with you.” You responded. “We got bored and decided to paint your bedroom a different color.” You found yourself smiling at the memory, not even thinking twice about how your voice became steady against the mechanics of breath. “We were trying to figure out how to use the paint rollers and you learned the hard way that too much paint was in fact, not, more efficient. You had paint all in your hair after just one swipe.” 

You laughed and Damian found himself smiling at the sound. “I managed to get some on your cheeks,” he recalled.

You nodded. “You did,” a slight chuckle shaking your shoulders. “I got you back though.” 

“Please,” Damian rolled his eyes, “you were covered in far more paint than I was at the end of the night.” 

“Was not!”

Damian hummed in absolute confidence. “As I recall, Alfred gave you a far more disproving look than he gave me.” 

“Because he found me first!” 

Sometime in the near future, you would retell the events that led you to this moment. From witnessing an event that hit just a little too close to home to the police report that followed, you’d tell him everything. 

But for now, you were happy just enjoying the moment with him. 

Taglist ♡

@anothertimdrakestan

@cherry-dropp

@missredrobin

[yeagerfate]

what their hugs feel like.

pairings: eren, jean, armin, reiner

genre: angsty hurt/comfort

warnings: panic attack (in eren's), jean has to relocate reader’s shoulder, reader walks in on reiner when he’s about to shoot himself (sorry), i love them, you can tell jean and eren and reiner are my fav aot boys (i love them soooooo much mwah mwah), s4 spoilers in reiner's, s1 spoilers in jean’s, can you tell i wrote jean's, reiner’s and armin’s way after i wrote eren's. anyways reiner makes me so sad i want to hug him :( he is so

note: hi, this is my first post on tumblr! i am so excited to post some of my ideas on here. currently, my requests are open. if you have any ideas, let me know! reiner’s is by far my fav out off all of these and i really don’t like armin’s lol, i don’t have a beta reader so i tried to proof read this but idk if it worked, also my top 3: eren, ymir, and reiner/jean i can't choose. is this bad please tell me this isn't bad

-

EREN:

Eren's hugs are determined yet soft.

All he wanted to do in that moment was make you feel safe; an expedition had just ended. You were shaken from the titans you'd seen, eating innocent soldiers who were just doing their jobs

"It’s fine," Eren murmured to you as he held your hands tightly to ground you. It wasn’t fine, and he knew that, but he still told you it anyway. He just wanted you to stop being so terror-stricken

Your hands were shaking, your eyes were darting around like you were looking for a titan to come get you, and you were breathing heavily

"N-no it isn't," You replied, your voice small. "You don't understand, Eren. Those people-"

He had cut you off when he pulled you into a warm hug. "Shh. It’s okay,” He whispered. "We’re okay now, I won't let anything happen to you."

His embrace was welcoming and comforting, and for a moment you'd almost forgotten about what you'd just seen

Your face was hidden in the crook of his neck as you began to calm down. Eren slightly turned his head to the side to kiss your cheek sweetly, his eyes closing as he comforted you silently. His hand went up to cup the back of your head, and he began to rub his hand back and forth as you sobbed quietly

His free hand was drawing circles on your back. Your arms, however, were wrapped around his neck desperately

"You’re my girl," Eren whispers. "I promise I’ll keep you safe."

JEAN

Jean’s hugs are warm and tight. I imagine he has a firm handshake too but that’s off topic lol

During the Battle of Trost, You ran out of fuel for your ODM gear and had to make a run for it while a titan was coming at you. (Though you were saved by a strange, mysterious titan with long brown hair and green eyes. You thought he had a striking similarity to Eren but would never say such a thing out loud especially since you knew how much he hated the titans. Later on you found out you were right though. He does have titan powers!)

While you were trying to get away you’d dislocated your shoulder. Because you’d taken health classes during training, you’d immediately realized what had happened, and a terrible sense of dread ran down your spine. You really didn’t wanna deal with the pain of someone relocating your shoulder

Once you’d found Jean, your best friend who you had a huge crush on, You told him what had happened

His face dropped

“Please, I need you to fix it for me. I don’t want to let some random nurse do it in an uncomfortable, smelly tent after this is over. It hurts so bad, please, jean,” You begged. Nurses and doctors already gave you a lot of anxiety when you were a kid, and now that you were in a life-threatening situation it was even worse

“Okay,” He replied. “Okay, okay, okay…” He muttered to himself, and took a deep breath. He was extremely scared he somehow wouldn’t do it right despite his first-aid training and would hurt you even more

It seemed as soon as he started he finished, but it was the worst pain you’d ever felt in your entire life

You screamed in agony and discomfort, and even though you only dislocated your shoulder, it felt like your entire body was aching

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He cried out. He immediately pulled you into a hug, wrapping his arms around your back and pulling you in

Tears streamed down your smoke and bloodstained face, and everything felt so overwhelming. You were just glad Jean had done it for you and not some stranger

“Holy shit, fuck, fuck, fuck, that hurt like a son of a bitch,” You gasped out. Your voice was hoarse from all the screaming

And a couple days later, when you finished truly recovering and you finally had time to think about what happened, a small blush had risen to your cheeks, thinking about the way your bestfriend had helped you.

Maybe, you did have a chance…

ARMIN

Armin's hugs are soft and sweet. They’re laced with love

Armin had been completely humiliated in combat training today. Shadis had partnered him up with Marco, one of the worst fighters in the 104th, and yet he still couldn't hold his ground.

He was so embarrassed he didn't even show up to dinner, which made you, Mikasa, and Eren even more concerned. Marco felt horrible

So, you decided to sneak into the boy's dorms. No one else was even there anyway, and you'd never really gotten in trouble before, so you weren't afraid of Shadis

"Armin," You called out, but your voice was cautious. You didn’t want him to be caught off guard

As you walked to his bed, your heart broke. Armin looked like he was both famished and in complete despair. His knees were tucked to his chest and tears spilled out of his baby blue eyes. His blonde hair was messy and knotty, and you could tell he was stressed. You sat next to him and the bed creaked obnoxiously

"How am I supposed to make it if I can't even do good in combat training? It’s so basic, I’m not gonna make it if I can't get better. what am I gonna do? I don't wanna be shipped off to the fields. I-“

"Armin, honey," You cooed, and placed your warm hand on his shoulder. You guided his head to lay on you. "You underestimate yourself. Who cares if you're not as good at combat training? We’re fighting titans, not people. You excel in the education part of training, and you're respected by your peers. I am so proud of you, Armin. I know you will succeed. and if you get shipped off, I’m going too."

Armin sniffled, and as he looked up at the confident look on your face, he knew that you were right. He pulled you in for a hug, and hid his face in your neck.

"Eren’s worried about you. He says he'll beat Marco up if you want him too!"

"NO!"

REINER

Reiner’s hugs are desperate and hesitant. It’s strange for him to receive affection after everything he’s been through

One day, you decided you wanted to surprise Reiner at work. You could tell something was off with your husband but you couldn’t quite tell what it was; you wanted to cheer him up

You didn’t even think of knocking. You visited him so much nowadays that it was an afterthought. And thank the Lord it was

The sight before you was horrifying. You opened your mouth, but not a sound came out. As soon as Reiner saw you enter his office, he freaked the fuck out

He dropped the gun, watching as it made a loud clatter on the wooden floor. His eyes were wide and his sweaty hands were shaking. He looked almost fearful; like the little boy he once used to be… the one who would get screamed at during training because he was so weak

“What… is this?” You dropped the cookies you had made specially for him, but you didn’t care. Suddenly, you were breathing heavily, and if you blinked one more time tears would fall. Your vision was blurry, and the entire room looked shaky.

“What are you doing? Honey… Reiner, please, please don’t leave me. I need you here, please, Rei, stay, stay,” You pleaded, and suddenly your arms were wrapped tightly around him, his face hidden by your stomach. He was still sitting in his chair, completely in shock

You were hyperventilating, shaking, and were about to throw up. What happened? Your sweet Reiner was going to do this to himself? You thought everything had been going good… had you not been paying enough attention to him?

A thousand thoughts were running through your head but they all were interrupted when you felt his strong, muscular arms wrap around your torso. His shoulders shook rapidly, his face hidden away in your shirt, and for the first time in your entire life, you saw him cry

“Sorry, ‘m sorry, please don’t-“ His voice was laced with anguish and despair and all you had ever wanted in that moment was to take his pain away. The sounds of his weeping broke your heart, and his deep voice almost sounded unnatural while crying. You were not used to it at all; he’d always tried to “act like a man” around you, and not worry you. All he did was bottle up his emotions, unbeknownst to you

“It’s okay, we’ll do this together, honey, it’s fine, you’re fine, it’s good,” You breathed out, your voice heavy. You both knew it was definitely not fine, but you’d work through it together. Reiner was your husband, after all.

[cat-autism-wizard]

five times danny's english class learned that he was phantom (and one time he had to reveal it)

4- valerie gray

valerie was a smart girl but her rage and grudge often clouded her judgment. she knew phantom was doing so much help to humans but she still held a grudge since hes the one who ruined her dad's career and her life. after learning he was after the mayor she decided she was gonna do anything to capture phantom.

but everything changed when she saw him risking everything he had to save the little half ghost girl. he even risked his own life. valerie hated ghosts but she was not a monster. she could never hurt a human even if theyre half human. so she helped him save the little girl. maybe phantom wasnt too bad.

after they rescued the little girl and the mayor from that evil ghost plasmius both phantom and ghost girl went away. valerie was on her way before realizing she didnt check on the mayor and she went back to the lab.

she saw the mayor he was smiling like a crazy man. then she saw glowing rings on his waist. then he transformed..

no.

no no no no.

there was no way that was possible. mayor masters tranformed into plasmius. was she helping him the whole time? the stories about phantom being evil and attacking the mayor, they were all lies. valerie felt betrayed, she felt stupid. the whole time she was being tricked into thinking phantom was the enemy while the real enemy was manipulating her.

maybe she was wrong. wrong about not hurting a human. all she felt was rage. she took a deep breath. she saw what plasmius could do if she attack him now there was no way she could win. she tried her best not to be impulsive as she left the lab.

that day she learnt so much. there were half ghosts some were evil and some were just trying to survive. she was so wrong about a lot of things. she always thought ghosts were all evil but now she sees theyre just like people and phantom was one of the good ones.

"shit" she said as she let herself fall to her bed. the she started to think if whether phantom was also a half ghost. he did look like he knew the little girl in her both forms.

next day in school everything was the same. between classes star walked with her.

"girl are you okay? you seem really tired." star asked worried. she was right valerie was looking like he hasnt slept like ages. it was partially right she couldnt get much sleep from overthinking.

"yeah i am, just have something on my mind. dont worry." she smiled reassuring star that she was telling the truth. but it wasnt really convincing for star.

"i dont want to push you but i hope you know that im here for you val." star gave a small smile.

when the bell rang they went to their classes. valerie was happy to have a friend like star. she might be the only reason why she was still sane. she wished that she could talk about ghost stuffs with her.

in the class valerie noticed danny looking tired more than usual. after class valerie wanted to ask danny if he was alright but right as she was approaching him a ghost attacked the school. valerie saw danny ran for the janitor closet. 'thats by far one of the worst place you could hide' valerie thought. she had to save him before something happened but first she had to become red huntress. before she could do anything she saw phantom flying towards the ghost attacker.

'huh' she thought. phantom was pretty early which gave her some time to get danny out of that terrible 'hiding space'. she opened the janitor closet only to find nothing. danny wasnt there.

valerie started to panic. where could he be? what if something happened to him? valerie was finally gaining friends that was really her friends and not some jock who drops her the moment shes not rich. she was not gonna lose her friends because of some lousy ghost. she found a place to transform into red huntress and searched the whole building but there was no trace of him.

it was only when the attack was done and phantom souped the ghost she could see danny again. she took her suit off somewhere safe and rushed to danny.

"danny where were you?" she asked worry apperant in her voice. danny was taken aback a little.

"i was hiding from the ghost." he said. that was a lie, she knew it but danny said it way too calmly.

"in the janitor closet?" valerie asked not believing the boy.

"yeah it was the closest place i could hide." he said absentmindedly. if valerie didnt check the janitor closet herself she might have believed him which irritated her more than anything. she sighed in an attempt to calm herself down or at least to seem calm.

"im glad youre safe." she left them without they get to say anything more. she had to think to make things make sense.

danny lied to her. which was annoying but all valerie could think was how natural he sounded. danny couldnt lie to save his life, she would know. when he doesnt have his homework he couldnt make up a single lie nor can he tell them without looking like hes gonna shit himself. no, danny fenton was a lot of things but being a good liar was not one of them. it only indicates that he told that lie before so many time. it was a practiced lie.

but why? why would he lie about a hiding place? what was he hiding from valerie? where did he go when he was not in the closet? and more importantly how did he go elsewhere?

valerie was sure she did not look at somewhere long enough and far enough for her to not to notice danny leaving the closet. if there wasnt a secret passage in the closet or danny didnt suddenly gain ghost powers it would be impossible for danny to go out without valerie seeing him.

wait.

no no it was stupid, there was no way.

there was no way that danny out of all people was a half ghost. everyone knew he always hid away the first when there was a ghost attack because he was scared and danny only knew ghost stuff because his parents were ghost hunters. no other reasons. it was just a coincidence that he looked like that half ghost girl. or that he was always close to the places that attacks happen. or that he only comes out when the attack is fully done. or that phantom uses a thermos that looks exactly like his thermos thats written 'fenton' on it.

oh ancients.

oh ancients.

danny was phantom. how could valerie be so blind. of course he was. it was as obvious as the sun in the sky. she couldnt believe she couldnt see it before. to be fair she didnt know half ghost existed. but still it was obvious.

she cursed herself in her mind she also cursed danny because danny phantom? really? he couldnt find a better name? at least to his credit it took valerie so much to figure it out but it was still a dead give away. but she also cursed danny because why didnt he tell her? she couldve hurt him real bad.

valerie sighed and tried to think how can she help him. and how to compensate all the times she hurt him.

1 2 3 4 5 +1

[ottisbuns]

Ok. So like. Lum, right? Lum Lucendi. My OC who I talk about very little in proportion to the amount I think about her.

She is a living weapon. She is the last and only of her kind in multiple ways. She’s a pacifist. She has abandonment issues. She’s like eight. If you don’t let her be useful she will have a panic attack. She is the stable one. She is the mentor of the villain of her story. She could kill you. She would refuse to try even in self-defense. You can’t kill her. She has done nothing wrong ever.

She's a living weapon. Designed with intent and purpose to win a hopeless war. A soldier and walking magic battery, intentionally designed in the form of a child because well, if you hesitate for even an instant to strike her down because that's a child, you want to kill a child? An eight year old? then you are going to die extremely to death.

She probably would have worked, too. Certainly not well enough to single-handedly turn the tide, but she would have stalled things, prevented enough attrition that more like her would have time to be created. It's possible she might not even have died in the process. A true wonder-weapon.

But this didn't happen. Her creation process started much too late, and her side lost. All records of the attempt of her creation were intentionally destroyed to hide just how far they went to try and prevent defeat. But they didn't destroy her. They did not have time, and the facility responsible for her creation was near impossible to find without direct knowledge of it, so they judged it a needless risk.

It was thought that without the constant stream of intentional magic used to slowly make her she would eventually die, or at worst remain in stasis, half-complete, forever. Either way, ambient magic wouldn't be enough to actually finish her.

Except with nothing else around to consume said magic, it was.

It only took a thousand years.

Enough time that the civilization she was created to defeat collapsed, and the type of magic she was made to utilize to be lost utterly. Forgotten. She still knows it instinctively, but she’s the only one.

Not that she knows any of this when she wakes up. She doesn’t know much of anything other than how to fight and keep herself alive.

The battle instincts of a veteran and the understanding of human society of some sort of feral animal in the brain of a six year old child. She has no context for what she is, both as a weapon and as a person.

As a man-made living weapon she was of course intended to receive both magical and mundane conditioning to be able to fill her role. This was the one thing that the aimless, ambient magic that finalized her creation couldn’t replicate. So her conditioning is… spotty, mostly consisting of early priorities.

As a result, her instincts are extremely quick to pick a fight and choose the lethal option as per design, however the conditioning meant to make her not feel guilt about it is entirely absent. Moreso than in a normal person. As a result she has killed exactly once, an animal who looked at her in a way her instincts didn’t like, and felt so catastrophically remorseful feeling their life fade that she refuses to listen to those instincts again under any circumstance.

As a result for a full two years all she has as a being that she's willing to use is defensive instinct. How to directly make sure other things don't kill her. Her body can sustain itself indefinitely through a combination of ambient and her own magic, but only if she doesn’t use it for anything else. If she needs to defend herself, she won't be able to use magic to sustain herself for a while. So she slowly gets weaker.

Until she finds and saves the life of Tenebris, though they weren't called that at the time.

Whether it was because she was conditioned to imprint on the first human she saw or because she was just like that after spending her first two years in isolation, she gets attached extremely quickly, only really surpassed by how quickly Tenebris gets attached and adopts her.

Cue four years of being lost in the wilderness as neither of them know where the hell they are, during which both Lum and Tenebris get their names. Tenebris teaches Lum language and what being a person is. How to live and enjoy it. How to be a human. Lum, meanwhile, teaches Tenebris her magic. The magic that quickly comes to define Tenebris, indirectly leading them down the path that ends with Tenebris forging themselves into more of a weapon than Lum ever was.

and more than anything, during those four isolated years, they both become hopelessly dependent on the other.

[dyns33]

Fucking fate - part 2

Vaas x soulmate reader are back 

Y/N had been living in a pirate camp on Rook Island with her psycho soulmate for two months when a group of natives attacked and some hostages offered her to come with them, taking advantage of the panic to escape.

They knew who she was, but they considered that it wasn't her fault, that she was unlucky, and that she deserved to be free.

Two months was not enough to develop Stockholm Syndrome, as Y/N agreed to follow them almost immediately.

It was only later, after several days in the jungle and when they had found a boat, that she hesitated.

On the way, they had heard some conversations, hidden in the bushes. The pirates were terribly talkative.

     "Did you hear what happened at the central camp ?"

     "Yeah. Fucking rakyats. Francisco is dead. He was selling the best shit, too bad."

     "I was thinking more of Vaas' mate. She disappeared."

     "He must not be happy."

     "Not happy ? He was already mad, but now he completely lost his mind. He killed all the hostages, and the guards who survived the attack. He ordered that they searched everywhere for her, and as long as he doesnt have any news, he goes around in circles in the camp, hitting those who are not looking."

     "He knows she's already dead, right ? The jungle must have eaten her."

     "I know. But it's his mate, man. Shit, he needs hope. When we find the body, he's going to be impossible. Whoever brings the news will probably be hanged. If he just doesn't burn the whole island."

Y/N tried not to think about it as the others got the boat ready to go home. It wasn't her problem what would happen here after she left. She had been kidnapped, she had seen people being tortured and killed, and she deserved to return to a normal life.

Even if it meant rejecting her soulmate.

Except that while he wasn't perfect, not perfect at all, Vaas wasn't that terrible.

It was weird to say, because he was crazy. He was dangerous. He was doing the worst things in the world. And yet, with her, Vaas could be adorable. A tiger that was turning into a little cat, purring against her.

He hadn't hit her, not once. He was even upset when she was afraid of him. He also didn't shout, whereas Vaas shouted a lot at others. He always asked her if she was ok with doing something. Yes, he naturally made it sound like it was a bad idea to tell him no, but Y/N had told him no several times anyway, and Vaas had simply nodded, accepting the answer without further ado.

     "You know, mi corazon. You're the best thing that ever happened to me." he had said one evening, while cuddling her in bed. "It's true. I had a shitty life. A shitty family, a shitty sister. A shitty job. Yeah, I like having fun with people, but it's still shitty. I'm drinking, being high and kicking idiots every day. Even my beloved island has become bland over time, controlled by an asshole and populated by tattooed morons. Then you came, mi amor, mi vida. I waited for you my whole life. I'm so happy."

He sounded so sincere that Y/N couldn't not believe him. He had told her what her sister had done to him.

When he had been pissed off that she was talking to his men, not liking her getting out of his crip, she had used it against him, quite deceitfully.

     "You or them, right, Vaas ? Right ? You or them ?!"

He had looked at her. He understood very well what she meant. He had wondered if he was becoming like his sister, if he was doing to her what she had done to him. So he hit a wall, smashing his hand, before leaving. The pirates, frightened, had avoided him.

Y/N felt bad. She had followed him, she had apologized, taking his bloody hand, trying to hug him, to kiss him, to bring him back because he seemed very far away. He let her do what she wanted, listening to her excuses, then following her back to camp without saying anything, like a child.

To cheer him up, she had cooked, she had put on his favorite movie, she had put on some music and invited him to dance with her, and after a long time, he had sighed, with a tired smile, accepting to join her, laughing together.

Her soulmate wasn't perfect. He had a lot of problems, and it was impossible for him to change, since the situation on the island wouldn't change either. But above all he was a broken man, alone, lost, who needed her.

Most of the little moments they had spent together were happy.

Maybe two months was enough to develop Stockholm Syndrome after all.

Several voices were heard behind her, as Y/N ran along the beach, then through the jungle, looking for the nearest pirate camp. It wasn't easy, as he often said Vaas's men were a bit stupid, but she approached with her hands up, saying she was his mate.

Since they had all heard of the attack, they were very careful with her, calling their leader right away.

When she arrived at the central camp, Y/N noticed two things. 

The place was in a terrible state, and no one had started the repairs, probably too busy looking for her, not to be killed.

And Vaas didn't seem happy to see her.

He said nothing, his eyes blank, simply thanking his men for bringing her back. Then he ordered Carlos to take her to his room, bringing her something to eat, before going to fetch the doctor to check that she was not injured.

For several days, he seemed to avoid her like the plague. It was hurtful. Y/N could have left, she might already be in her country, with her loved ones, but no, she had chosen him, and that was how he thanked her.

She tried to talk to him, but it was a disaster.

     "If you're not happy here, you didn't have to come back, nena." he hissed, playing with his gun. "You could go see my sister. Find a cabin near the beach. Swim to shore."

     "I'm just saying you act like a fool."

     "Oh, a fool ? Me ? That's probably true. I was stupid enough to think everything was fine, but one day, poof, you have the opportunity to leave, and you leave. You leave ! You leave me !"

     "But I came back !" she cried, starting to get scared, because it was the first time he had raised his voice with her.

     "She came back ! She came back ! Great ! Welcome back, hermosa ! I have work to do now, leave me the fuck alone !"

It was too much. Y/N went crying with rage in a corner of the camp, far from everyone, while Vaas continued to shout at his men. Maybe she should have left. Maybe she still could.

Pushing a crate against the wall, she jumped over it, walking quietly away from the camp to the beach, where she sat down to think. Could she really swim to shore ? Vaas had probably said that in jest, he had warned her about the sharks. Maybe he wanted her to be eaten. He didn't really seem to care.

     "I found her, jefe !"

Or not.

Y/N recognized the voice of Carlos, Vaas' right-hand man. There were several footsteps, then mumbles, and finally a single person who came to sit next to her.

     "Nena, come back to camp. You scared us, that's not nice."

     "I'm staying here. You don't want me on your side anyway."

     "Mi corazon..." he sighed. "You know very well why I am angry."

     "No, I don't know. I mean, yes I left. It was chaos, and I didn't want to die. But I came back, you should be happy."

     "But you had no choice, right amor ? I guess your friends died, or you lost them in the jungle, and you thought 'Damn, what do I do now ? Oh, I know, I'm going to go back to Vaas, that idiot Vaas. He adores me, he never refuses me anything, he's my bitch, he can't live without me, he's going to take me back.' And of course I'll take you back, because I'm really an idiot, and I love you more than anything hermosa, but it hurts. It really hurts, shit."

After that, Y/N finally stopped sobbing, continuing to watch the ocean. He was stupid and angry, but not for the reasons they both thought.

     "The others took a boat."

     "... What ?"

     "We found a boat. I left before they started it, but I guess they're home now. Or drowned. I don't know. But they were fine when I left. When I decided to leave. To return to the camp."

To return with you. Because I wanted to.

Vaas stared at her for a long time, before rubbing his face and then his skull, visibly embarrassed.

     "Damn, nena... I'm an asshole."

     "Yes."

     "You came back... Shit. You're as stupid as me."

     "Excuse me ?" she was indignant, finally looking at him, annoyed.

     "I thought you had no choice, but you chose me. Me ! Me, and this shitty island, and this shitty life, when you could have left, been safe, happy, found a good guy, and have a great life. I would have understood. But no, me ? Shit. I'm super happy right now. I feel like my heart is going to explode. Can I kiss you ?"

     "Go to hell."

     "Come back to camp with me, tesoro." he whispered in her ear, his eyes sparkling, his hands hugging her tightly. "I was an asshole, sorry."

Vaas was not perfect. He knew it and he knew that she knew it. Even though he did his best to make her feel good and have everything she wanted, he understood why she had disappearred, he would have understood if she had left the island, and he couldn't imagine that she came back of her own free will.

     "You're as crazy as me, aren't you nena ? Mi nena. Mi mejor mitadn mi media naranja."

     "Fine, we're going home." she muttered, feeling a little too hot between the sun and Vaas kissing her again and again on the neck while purring words of love in Spanish.

No doubt he was right, and she was just as crazy as he was, but it was fucking fate after all, and she had accepted it.

[marshmallowprotection]

Whenever I have a massive panic attack out of the blue, the only thing I can think about with my life by Saeran's side is how fast he'd pick up on the signs, likely far faster than I'd be able to since I hardly notice I'm lost until I feel the sensation and creeping dread, and a thought like that cools me down when I'm at my wit's ends. It's such a small thing but the perspective helps.

His gentle hands fast as a lightning bolt to keep me from trying to make sure I haven't lost feeling in different spots forever, a calm voice whispering in my ear to remind me to pace my breathing when it feels like my air isn't coming in fast enough, and a rumble of his heartbeat to bring me back down just as soon as the tunnel vision fades away. It's the thought of his gentleness in the name of the worst terror someone could ever feel without a rhyme or reason to explain why.

It's the thought of knowing that he wouldn't move from that very spot until I was able to properly communicate what was happening to me and what I needed him to do for me, if at all. It's knowing that he would understand more than anybody else what to do and after a lifetime of people not understanding and not bothering to learn how to do the right thing even if they're close to me, the thought is an immense comfort.

Saeran very well knows what it feels like to be overcome with something that you can't control. He spent so many nights in a lonely room working himself into a frenzy until he felt like he was going to be sick. He... didn't have anybody back then to be there for him the way he needed. He didn't have anybody to explain what was happening whenever he woke up with terror.

Does anybody ever wonder if he thought that was just a normal experience? What is that like for him when he discovers that it's not normal for him to feel miserable? Sure, he knows that he doesn't have to feel angry all the time, but does he know that he shouldn't feel constant dread or paranoia all the time?

Does he know what it means to have a panic attack? Does he know what it means to have anxiety?

He knows the feelings as they are shown time and time again as his thoughts and experiences, but did anybody teach him the words?

I think about it, sometimes. I think about how Saeran wasn't able to know there was a word for what he was experiencing with his mind until he escaped from Mint Eye. There's a lot of things he doesn't know about the world, but one thing is for certain, I can imagine the unadulterated relief that he must feel on the inside to be validated. For him to be told that what he's experiencing has a name, and there are things he can do to make it better, by his side, I think I would weep with him.

Being able to have language like that is undescribable. Some people may not understand how crucial it is for some people to have the language to communicate what they're going through, but when you are somebody like Saeran who has been constantly robbed of his autonomy, him being able to describe what he's going through and what he needs is a godsend. It may take him a while to learn what he wants or needs when he's struggling, but having the ability to communicate it at all is the important part.

Sometimes, all you want is for somebody to substantiate your feelings. You just want somebody to say that your feelings are valid and that what you're experiencing is real. No derailments. No cover-ups. You want to be told that what you're feeling is real and it's going to be okay. You don't want anybody to tell you that what you're feeling is fake and that you need to get over yourself. Saeran is the kind of person who would understand what you're feeling and want to do right by you, no matter what you need.

Why? I think that's simple, it's because you're always there for him and you want to do right by him. You helped him realize that he wants to help people as much as he wants to help himself, and you are the most important one he wants to cherish. There's something Beautiful about being able to gently coax each other through a panic attack. There is something about being in perfect Harmony and understanding what your partner needs, and even if it's not perfect, the fact that you try is what matters.

That's all it takes to feel like the storm will die before it becomes consuming to cry over and there will be no goddamn victory run for the terror that isn't welcome to stay in my head.

"My love, I understand that you may not be able to think clearly right now, but I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. I will stay right here by your side as long as you need me. If you want me to leave, I'll leave until you need me to come back. But I want you to know that no matter what, I've got you. My heart will protect you from any fear you have. I've got you and I'll never let go. I've got you. I've got you, I promise."

[theflyindutchwoman]

Lucy's healing journey is one that really resonated with me. I know so many felt her trauma has been forgotten by the show... And I get it. The thing is, I'm not sure if the writers forgot about it as much as they lost their way towards the end. Because they actually did a rather good job by having her trauma brought up in every season since Day of Death. They were showing us how she was progressing… And in a way, I feel that's what makes it even more jarring because it ended abruptly. They started a blueprint and left it unfinished.

It all started in 2.12 - this episode really gave us the key elements the writers used in Lucy's recovery. They mentioned straight away all the therapy work she has done since Day of Death : exposure therapy, cognitive therapy and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. I won't talk about the last two. But exposure therapy is really interesting : to put it simply, she willingly put herself in situations that could trigger her trauma, under the supervision of a therapist. In her case, I would assume being in tight/dark spaces would be on top of her list. Speaking from personal experience : cars, underground structures and elevators are some of the worst because you deal with them on a daily basis. And for Lucy who spends 12hours/day in a car and has an unpredictable job, claustrophobia had to be dealt with right away. Interestingly enough, we actually (almost) never saw her have a panic attack in an enclosed space. The show instead chose to focus on her issues regarding the human interaction/touch and trusting her instincts. Which, considering her job, are equally as important. Just less obvious.

In 2.14 + 2.17, we see a bit more of her progress. Lucy directly mentioned being buried alive as a way to remind people not to underestimate her. By that stage, she's no longer seeing herself as a victim, but as a survivor (thank you Tim). She is healing progressively and trying to find healthy ways to cope and if not, face the issue at hand, like Nyla advised her. We even get a conversation with Tim, giving us a glimpse of his guilt (and part of his trauma as well). And by 2.19, Lucy seems to be fine with dating and being touched. It closes one part of the arc opened in 2.12… However, it's worth noting that the show didn't stop referencing her trauma there.

In 3.01, we finally get a confrontation with Rosalind who manages to get the drop on Lucy by singing THE song. And yet, by the end, she seems confident, both of herself and of Tim's presence in her life. She knows that if she falls, Tim will catch her… And that is a huge thing. For both of them, because as much as Tim tries to deflect, her faith in him is absolutely important in regards to his guilt.

3.02 / 3.03 follow-up on this progress. We find out that her car was the only place she felt safe after her ordeal (which is really interesting considering she was forced in the trunk of a car - again no sign of claustrophobia)… It says a lot about where she is now that she feels confident enough to give away what was essentially her safe space to someone she just met. Even after Tamara sold the car, she is still able to let it go.

In 3.13, we have a major moment for Lucy. Nyla is essentially trying to trigger Lucy by abducted her just so they can see how she'll react. I say "they" because this moment is for both Nyla and Lucy. It drives the point home on how far Lucy has come in such a short time.

That's why I don't find it that shocking when Lucy dares Tim to do an escape room with her in 4.07. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely understand the reactions here. Considering what she went through, an escape room would not be my first choice either. But even if it's an enclosed space, it's still a controlled environment, of her choosing, with a person she fully trusts. And again, up until that point, we never saw her react negatively to tight/dark spaces. I mean, if she was able to deal with a fake abduction, being in a suit in a closed lab, seeing her murdered best friend stuffed in the truck of a car, adventuring inside the walls of her building or being in the back of a van (similar to the one Nyla abducted her in) without panicking, going to an escape room is really not that out of character. The writer may have completely forgotten about her trauma here but at least, it doesn't necessarily negate what we've seen either.

Now here comes 4.17... And all its triggers! Seriously, take your pick. We got : puppies' videos from Tamara ; the surprise of finding out her boyfriend watched the video of her being buried alive (and dying) without asking for her consent (or warning her in advance) ; THE song ; watching by herself the videos of her dying ; telling Tamara to go on a date with a stranger ; and going in an elevator without second thought… And in case that wasn't enough, Lucy was already panicking when she arrived at the DA's office. Now I can't believe that all these direct callbacks to Caleb and her traumas were pure coincidence. So I'm guessing they tried to make it an empowering moment for Lucy. And in a way, I can see it : by not testifying, she is beating Rosalind a second time. She is taking back her own narrative. It's her story, not something to replay for Rosalind's amusement and mind games. The problem is it fell… flat. I don't know exactly what went wrong. I'd venture too many triggering moments with no real impact or reaction. The puppies videos or Tamara's going on a date should have made Lucy hesitate at least for a second. Instead she barely reacted. Chris humming the song and the realisation that he watched the video should also have warranted a longer reaction. The look of horror and terror on Melissa's face was perfection but it barely had time to sink in before all was forgiven. She bounced back to her cheerful self all too quickly. I feel we needed some breathing room... To really see Lucy work through her decision to not testify to make it empowering.

And that would have made Rosalind's escape and Lucy's spiralling in 5.01 even more horrifying. Because just when she thought she was free, she was reeled back into Rosalind's mind games. Now this episode introduced some really good elements of claustrophobia. Like how Lucy found out about the escape while she was back in a tight space (airplane)… I will forever cherish Melissa for her acting choice in the bathroom, when Lucy's hands are shaking. But the fact that in this situation, she has to go in an even tighter space (bathroom) to get some small amount of comfort makes it even worse. Another moment is when they're in the car on their way to the casino… A car with tinted windows, at night, surrounded by people she doesn't know/trust… The first thing she does is rolling down the window so she can feel the light breeze and see lights… And then, she turns to make eye contact with Tim. At this point, she is barely holding it together (although she's doing a great job hiding it) and he is the only place of comfort she has. Tim watching over her during this whole episode is so sexy of him. He tries to give her as much control as he can while supporting her.

In 5.02 / 5.03, that's when her trauma starts to seriously be overlooked. Which at this point could still make sense : she's too focused on Chris and feeling too guilty to be introspective. And we see her reluctance in dealing with anything related to Rosalind's case (which was consistent with her previous decision). But Chris' trauma is too fresh for him to realise what he's doing and what he's truly asking of her (and I doubt he'd have the ability to read the room anyway). And she can't turn to Tim for help…

And that's when we arrive to 5.04… One thing that I liked was having Lucy not bothering with Rosalind and focusing instead on saving Bailey. It's on par with her decision in 4.17 : she's letting Rosalind be an afterthought, which was exactly what our sociopath didn't want. And by bringing back Bailey from the dead, she beats Rosalind a third (and final) time. We come full circle with Day of Death : this time, it's her turn to help someone by using her experience and she gets to save someone. It opens the door for a new healing arc…

And that's where it got completely brushed away. There was no acknowledgement whatsoever that Lucy's wounds were brutally reopened and that she was further victimised by Rosalind. We didn't see her process what she went through. We had a glimpse of something when Lucy said it didn't feel real but that's it. Tim and Grey felt almost too cold towards her. Even in 5.08 when Tim acknowledged Rosalind's actions, it's about Chris, not Lucy. That's why I'm not sure they forgot - it almost feels like the writers didn't even realise that Lucy went through her own trauma this time around. And what makes it even more disappointing and unsatisfying is that they did a lot of groundwork, it just needed a couple more scenes. I'm not holding up much hope for further acknowledgement but it could still be salvaged a bit. Have the true crime episode dedicated to Rosalind and have Lucy work through everything she experienced… Or have Lucy interact with a victim where she help them get through their trauma and at the same time acknowledge her own ordeal… Or have Lucy and Angela bond over what it feels like to be abducted, to live in fear of having your loved ones or yourself being killed by a psycho (since Angela's trauma has been completely ignored up until 5.12, having a real conversation about it could be nice)… Or have Lucy wake up from a nightmare and Tim hoping her process things... Anything.

Although I will end this whole thing by saying it still beats what we got from Bailey… Because I'll never get over the fact that they joked about her death. Literally. They basically said her dying this time around didn't matter because she already died previously so what's one more. Listen, I can have a dark sense of humour but show, there is such a thing as timing and that was not it.

Little added note - This isn't about screentime or anything. I am aware of the challenges of having a huge cast of characters. And while this whole post may not sound like it, I am actually happy that we got such a storyline to begin with because I'm used to shows ignoring traumas altogether. So this felt new and refreshing. Hence the frustration that they fumbled the last part.

[faces-ofvenus]

The Prince's mistress: parte 4

Author's notes: The long-awaited and long-awaited fourth part is here, I hope you like it.

other parts: 𔓕 𔓕 𔓕 𔓕

Yes the situation was not just bad, it was perhaps the worst you have ever had to witness in your life, not because someone picked you up, well if this was in a brothel that would be fine, but first it wasn't just anyone, it was his mother, but NOT just his mother, but his princess Rhaenyra.

"By the gods, this is it, now my head she, gods"

You looked sincerely desperate, Jacaerys felt her body becoming tense, and was almost certain of her little panic attack, her nervousness, so her hands went around your waist, and pulled her comfortingly, as well as her fingers squeezing her tightly.

— Hmm... mom this is lady s/n, s/n this is my mom.

He introduced them in such a casual way, as if she wasn't one of the most powerful people, and had all the power to kill you in seconds, you and Rhaenyra couldn't believe how simple this Jace was making this meeting seem.

— Pleased Your Majesty, Princess — maybe you were cursing yourself, Rhaenyra saw your nervousness, she thought it was a little adorable, giving a loud sigh.

— Welcome, Jacaerys well... told me a lot about you, Jace, don't forget your lessons, and please be more careful, a servant will show you what to do in the castle — She offered him a small smile, and gave a quick glance at her son, while trying to leave the room, without asking any more questions.

You seemed to let all the air out of your lungs, throwing yourself onto the bed, you allowed yourself to sink into the pillow, Jacaerys supported himself on the bed with one arm, while the other freely ran his hands over your body, he had a mischievous smile

— So, I guess it all went pretty well, — he giggled with a cute little pout, which he made sure to kiss, kisses were exchanged, his hand traveled lower on your body, you stopped him quickly.

— Don't forget, Prince Jacaerys, you have class now! And I have to fulfill my duties... You weren't complaining after all, everything seemed totally worth it, and everything seemed better than sleeping with old and mostly married men. — Besides, we won't be lucky enough to have your mother as the next person through that door.

You got up quickly, ready to get dressed in last night's clothes, while Jacaerys didn't try to get ready, knowing that in a few minutes servants would come to bathe him, his thoughts were really only on the image of the two of you taking a bath together.

— I look nice, — you joked as you put on your last cloth, which was almost a joke, since your clothes were old, and almost the same as the ones the man saw about who came to visit you.

— Do you know that maybe I've never seen a more beautiful woman than you! — He said with a silly, passionate smile, as you loved the way he looked at you, before you left you kissed him one last good-bye.

And as you closed the door you looked out over the vast corridors, rooms and doors, yes you would go so far wrong to find yourself, but it was worth it, it would always be worth it, so your steps went to probably where the other servants would be staying.

It's been a few weeks now, and you couldn't be better, as much as you were a servant, your jobs were pretty simple, usually you cleaned Jace's room, your own room seemed untouched, since the nights spent sleeping weren't exactly spent in it.

Yes speaking of your nights with Prince Velaryon, they were the best of your lives, did you still have to hide ? Yes, but nothing compared to being able to sleep and wake up next to him.

You could hear the buzz though, all of his family sort of knew about the relationship, for the others it was nothing more than rumors, rumors that the Targaryens made sure to hush up, but at the same time the anger of other people was hard to take.

You don't judge them that much, you work so little, and you still get paid very, very well, you spend a lot of your time (when Jace has the opportunity) with the prince, besides having privileges and getting presents, damn even a room of your own was at your disposal.

Envy, anger and jealousy a powerful and destructive mixture, right now you are cleaning the kitchen, not that you had much to clean, most of the maids have already washed the huge dishes, and pans, you were just passing a broom, when someone came up to you from behind and whispered in your ear.

— Guess who? —You knew very well who it was, you recognized that breath and his smell from miles away, not least because your clothes smelled of him, Jacaerys gave you a kiss on your neck.

— You know someone can see us hmm — you pulled him quickly, and he promptly as almost always obeyed, going to one of the dispensers, you quickly closed and turned on the small candle, it illuminated until well, counting that you could see very well each other's features.

He quickly learned the wall, and taking one of your thighs, you unbuttoned the buttons of his shirt, but quickly the actions of the two of you stopped, when footsteps were heard, you with abnormal speed, straightened up, and opened the door, bumping into a person, she looked like she would open the door if you hadn't already done so.

You gave each other strange looks, mainly because one, she was part of the select group of people who didn't like you, and two because you looked disheveled, at least a little, but she blamed it more on your carelessness, cursing the fact that you didn't even look presentable and still caught the prince's eye.

— Have you seen Prince Jacaerys, they're looking everywhere for him, the Master put me in charge of finding him?

— No, I haven't seen him all day today, — he didn't seem to believe your statement very much, "and why do you think the prince would hide in a pantry? Well, I was just looking for some spices for tonight's dinner.

You pretended to be looking, and out of the corner of your eye, you saw Jacaerys looking at you, he was behind the door, almost like a statue, and as much as there were rumors, no one had really seen the two of you together.

— You're right, I don't know why I even wasted my time asking you that.— The woman turned, and walked away, you could only calm down when she turned the corner.

You looked at Jacaerys with amusement!

— I didn't know that now you are running away from your responsibilities, my prince, I think I am too distracted - you laughed too much, a little because you knew it was true, you just spent the day, waiting to meet at night.

— I think you should stop invading my mind then. We'll see tonight, I have a surprise waiting for you.

Before you could retort, he left quickly, to meet his responsibilities.

The full moon was shining in the night sky, when you snuck from your room to Jacaerys' room, you could see his personal guard, two actually waiting at his door, when they spotted you, they quickly gave a small, maybe one of the few who witnessed your relationship, they didn't care who the prince was sleeping with, as long as the next day he woke up breathing, they would still keep their heads, and their mysteries salaries.

When you entered the room Jacaerys was sitting on his bed, possibly waiting for you, he was dressed in clothes made for You arched an eyebrow in confusion, but still came close to him, when he saw you he quickly smiled and stood up.

— Why aren't you dressed like that, love, at this time of night, — you saw how his smile brightened even more with the suffix used, your hands traveled to his waist.

— I want you to meet Vermax and maybe We should take an evening stroll.

It's not that you don't want to, but maybe the fear of being charred alive was speaking louder in your subconscious.

—You know I'm not a Targaryen Jace, they... Dragons are unpredictable, maybe he won't kill you... But

— Don't talk nonsense dear, Vermax would NEVER hurt you, not him, not while I'm his rider. — He assured you with a conviction that almost drove all the anguish from your chest, and even if that is an absurd idea, and Jace always offered you the power to say no, you were never able to deny him anything.

He was able to calm all your nerves, remove all your doubts, no matter which ones, but maybe that wouldn't last for long...

tagglist: @mrsgrwy @madame-fear @damatheirin

if i forgot to tag someone sorry