#//misha's bitch please face gets me lol

[cooloddball]

This is going to be a super long analysis of jib3 starting with the opening ceremony to the closing ceremony so brace yourselves. 

Please note I believe in the breakup theory so maybe my opinion in this one might be biased so please don’t come for me, lol.

I will put it under the cut to avoid overcrowding your dashes with cockles shenanigans. 

Also, watch out for profanities and mature language.

And so it begins...

Opening ceremony

The camera used to record the opening ceremony is shaky. 

Misha, Jason Manns, and Jarpad seem to be having a lot of fun together and Jensen is just looking at his besties talking to the man he loves and he knows he can’t have that so he just stands there looking at them. Poor guy.

Jarpad asks who took Misha’s riffle? Things are awkward, I honestly don’t know what’s going on.

Misha kisses a plushie while making eye contact with Jensen and Jensen is like “oh, oh, wow” while making eye contact with Misha. LOL. Jack help me. This is a lot!!!

Jensen takes a plushie from Sebastian and Jared takes the one Misha had.

Are you guys flirting about trying to see whether you can keep plushies alive?

Misha throws something at the fans, I think he was throwing treats from earlier or whatever it was and Jensen says “Misha is still throwing” I mean why?

Cockles Panel

Jensen is so extra in this panel.

First of all, when he and Misha come out (no pun intended) a song starts playing and he starts dancing. Jensen is usually so poised while dancing but he is over the top throwing his back and shaking his tush for the mish.  I think he was trying a little too hard. Misha spares his ex-boyfriend’s tush a glance smiles and looks away. LOL. The whole thing was cringey, tbh. It was so unlike Jensen.

When Sebastian touches Jensen’s shoulder and says something to Jensen, he [Jensen]  laughs way too hard. I would say he laughs abnormally-it’s loud and he throws his whole body into it like he’s trying to prove what Sebastian was funny and it probably wasn’t. He laughs so hard he ends up right on Misha’s side. and Misha laughs at that though.

Rich says something about something in the sac that hurts(It’s incoherent) and Jensen says it hurts right here pointing at his heart (I can’t hear what they are saying exactly so if anyone knows please let me know)

I don’t know if Mark P. was going to hug Jensen or not or he was pointing at something behind Jensen, but at that moment, Jensen sees Sebastian going to hug Misha and whips his head away from Mark P’s direction so fast he almost broke his neck.

Sebastian humps Misha (these two are so playful I love them) and Jensen is just there acting awkward 

There’s a comment by Rich about “It’s over, the convention’s over I’m no longer your bitch” I don’t know who this is about.

Now, now, now. This whole time Rich is doing a kissy mouth with his fingers on the monitor behind Jensen and Misha. His hand is right where Misha is standing (you’ll understand once you watch it) so Jensen makes a kissy face back and Misha is blushing? Ummm wtf is going on here?

Jensen also does something strange that he never does during cockles panels he pulls his seat away from Misha.

Misha makes a very weird comment about Sebastian’s libido drying up and they have a weird conversation about libido and Viagra ads. It’s weird.

It gets even more awkward Jensen talks about bringing a total stranger, and a blind date. And it goes downhill from there with them. The it wasn’t you it was me speech. It was special. So heartbreaking. It was clearly not about the show but about their relationship. I always have a difficult time getting through that part. It’s so awkward that the fans are just there wondering what the hell is going on.

They decide to take questions and the fan is all over the place so Misha interjects but Jensen won’t let Misha say what he wants to say so he says, “This is why you make it awkward. You never let people finish what they are saying.” Ouch. Domestic dispute vibes anyone?

The way Jensen is looking up at Misha when he’s answering that question. It’s like he wants to sear his face into his memory before they leave Rome.

Jensen is explaining to a fan how one of the four sound stages they had on set was full of furniture and Misha adds “and soiled mattresses”  I mean what was the reason? Did they soil the mattresses with their [redacted]

A fan mentions something about Dean and Cas so these two adorable dorks smile and share a look. Things are starting to look up. Thank Jack.

The fan says something again (I can’t make out what he’s saying) but it must be something nice because they look at each other with smiles on their faces again.

Jensen playing with the head of his microphone. Is it just me or did the temperature rise a notch higher?

The way they look at each other when the fan says to help him choose the hottest female cast member on the show 

Then something freaky happens they say the exact same thing as twins or bffs do sometimes. LOL.

When they start talking about the hot women with the fans Misha moves his entire body and now instead of looking at the fans, he is seated facing Jensen.  The tension is simmering down.

A point to note is that in all their panels they always sit angled facing each other as opposed to facing the crowd save for this panel and DCCON 2019. But for DCCON I can understand that they weren’t comfortable being meant to be a J/2 panel and a creation event. So you know some people in that crowd are super mean to Mish and others to Jensen, so they had to tread carefully. But I digress back to the chaos.

They ask who wants to have a cockles panel the next year and they both raise their hands. I thought that was sweet

 It’s adorable how Jensen keeps repeating everything Misha is saying.

Misha forgets himself and moves too close to Jensen to listen to the song on the phone. Jensen turns to look at Misha, I don’t know what that look is but Misha backs away laughing.

Jensen’s face journey while listening to that song is gold.

Misha moves closer to listen to the song.  I have to say the way they are standing is not usually how two bros listening to music usually stand. If you know what I mean

 Misha agrees that’s definitely Jensen singing. Of course, he knows because Mr. “Jensen sings to me all the time”

He looks so proud of him.  I’d venture to say he’s happy to hear Jensen sing because he has always been so shy about that fact about himself. He even gives him a standing ovation. That’s so adorable. He loves him. My heart.

Jensen is so cute trying to deny it’s not him singing that song.  Yeah, it’s you, Jensen. Even your ex agrees it’s you and we bet he knows how your voice sounds in all kinds of situations ;)

we get a tingly feeling so we know it’s you. Jensen’s adorable smile when Misha says that. Aww.

The way they are not even looking at each other but they are seated the exact same way.

Allow me to explain to my friend here. Explains how his parents didn’t know whether he was a boy or a girl. Misha with the steel chair, “when did they figure out that you were a boy?”

How many years did they call you holly?

For six to seven years

Is it just me or is this conversation a flashback of teenage twink-lesbian Jensen years?

Fan asks whether Dean will ever forgive Cas. Watch Misha’s body language, he is trying to pacify himself by rubbing the back of his neck and fumbling with his shirt.

When Jensen says “ No!” without a moment’s hesitation, Misha looks distraught? I don’t know maybe I’m reading too much into this but I feel like this hit too close to home being that they were most likely broken up.

Misha however has a different opinion, “I think he has” 

Jensen says, “Wishful thinking” and that elicits a smile from Misha.

A fan asks about Dean giving Cas the trenchcoat back and things get interesting.  Weirdly, that Jensen can’t say the word gay out loud. He literally uses the word “unmanly” in its stead in the guise of censorship? It’s not a bad word Jensen you can say it. However, Misha and the fans say the word so I’m wondering who is censoring Jensen’s use of that word. He eventually says it but super fast.

Jensen says that saying “I always knew you would come back” is not something he would say to another human being, especially a man. Jesus, there’s nothing wrong with saying that to another human being you care about. He’s the one making it gay. He was extra when answering that one.

They spent one and half hours making that scene just to end up not saying anything and it ended up looking gay anyway. Anyway, that’s interesting.

 Jensen angles his body towards Mish and says in a very low soft and sexy voice “I guess I really hoped that you would come back some day” I would venture to say that Jensen at the moment in the panel was actually saying them to Misha. Who knows though?

They talk about it a whole lot for something that bothered him that much. 

Misha being so excited about recreating a scene when a fan told Jarpad he’s amazing and Jarpad said "you are welcome. 

 “I think I understand what she wants. I’m not sure what she’s gonna get.” This is a very good line Misha. I will be using it often.

The way they awkwardly stand too close and whisper to each other. Umm…what is going on here?

Jensen folds over laughing because of something Misha says. They are back. The tension is almost 90% gone now and they are in their element.

The chaos of recording the alarm ringtone for the fan was just great to watch. They kept getting closer and closer and I think they might have shared spit at that point. Gross….LOL

The way Misha is sitting is he you know.

Jensen asking Misha whether he was saying anything or just screaming while they were recording. I think he just wanted to see Misha smile.

Jensen’s joy when a fan mentions that they have Misha’s résumé.

Jensen saying the word shit made my day. I curse a  lot and it made me feel validated somehow.

Misha calls him dickhead in return and Jensen stops functioning and laughs instead . He also gets all hot and bothered trying to fumble with the lapel of his shirt.  He does this a lot when he is turned on. He has a humiliation kink I think.

They start talking over each other about Misha’s special skills. Looks like Jensen might have known beforehand because he went straight for that. Or maybe he didn’t know but he knew since Misha is a mad genius there must be some amazing things in there. Either way, it was a good moment.

OMG Jensen is so excited and the way he motions to Misha to bring that résumé to him, LOL. This man was thirsty AF.

He even goes down from the stage to meet Misha and invades his personal space trying to reach the résumé. I think this is the moment the tension between them dissipated completely and they were back to some form of normalcy.

Misha holding Jensen’s shoulder trying to get his résumé back. Unsucessfully, I should add.

They read something funny and they fold over laughing and spin around like overjoyed seals. It is far removed from the mollusk family but at least it’s still a sea creature (I don’t know what I’m saying please don’t mind me)

Jensen is still on his knees laughing and can’t get up. As I said, he is being too extra in this panel.

 Misha is trying to talk but they both can’t stop laughing. I think Jensen laughed so hard he got an extra set of abs that day.

Jensen is still laughing and you know what he is laughing at? Misha’s special skills being acting on camera. I mean it’s funny but man, prayforjensen.

 They are still laughing. Jack, help them.

The way Jensen looks at Misha with pure adoration here makes me so happy and reminds me of the fictional characters they played being all heart eyes for each other.

 Misha laughed so hard he cried.

Jensen trying to read the next ‘special skill’ Misha has but he can’t even talk because of how funny he thinks it is. He’s trying so hard not to laugh but he can’t help himself.

Jensen agreeing and also asking the audience to agree that Misha has a knack for certain accents. Accent kink anyone?

 Jensen is so excited when Misha starts Tibetan throating singing and does the unicorn laugh facing away from the crowd. Bet he has experienced Misha’s Tibetan throat singing skills on a personal when they are (loud overhead helicopter noises followed by thunder rumbling)

Jensen falling to the ground after feigning a heart attack once he saw that Misha is a certified EMT. I mentioned before that I honestly, 100% think he wanted mouth to mouth. There’s no other explanation. He could’ve feigned a nose bleed or just about any other illness but he chose to fall on a dirty floor and lay down so Misha could either give him the breath of life or straddle him. Luckily for him his dream came true 7 years later at Jib9 when straddle gate happened. But I digress

Too bad Misha was still mad at him and heartbroken so he kicked him instead.

Jensen knowing that Misha kayaks seems to be part of his personal knowledge. Maybe they did it together sometimes.

Horseback riding. Hmm is it just me or do they seem awkward here?

 Misha is so close to Jensen’s armpits. Must be missing his man’s musk and being held in those muscular arms again. Poor baby.

Misha can’t talk because of how funny he finds bicycle touring. I mean…I don’t see what’s funny but I guess he knows why it’s funny.

Misha laughing and raises his legs because Jensen is elaborating on the bicycle touring. Maybe it’s an inside joke or maybe it’s no longer funny to me because I’ve watched this panel like 5 times.

 I think Jensen’s goal was to see Misha laugh and be happy because he turned to look at Misha who was still laughing hard and the joy on Jensen’s face. Aww.

Misha gravitating towards his man again. He must smell really nice Misha. And those arms. Bet he used to lift you against the wall and (this fucking thunder won’t stop rambling. Are chuck and Amara fighting again?)

Jensen marketing his man’s carpentry skills but then makes sure to make it ‘no homo’ by saying he would never sit on anything Misha has built. Sure Jan. Then he circles back and says that he knows that he can build things.

Misha walks away from him and he looks up to make sure where he is going. Maybe he was afraid Misha was walking out on him. (PTSD from their breakup?)

They mention acting on camera again.

And laugh 

Jensen keeps talking about the acting on camera and watches to see if Misha is still laughing  He still is and Jensen is happy that his baby is happy. He looks at him again and he is still happy that Misha is still happy. Then once the laughter dies down he starts talking about bicycle touring  and checks again to see if Misha is laughing which he is so Jensen throws his head back  unicorn laughing and then looks at Misha again to see that he’s still laughing. Then they look at each other and say something maybe it’s about that was a good laugh. Jensen is wiping tears from his eyes because of how hard he laughed  Misha does the same. That entire thing was insane and they seemed to love it.

 Jensen starts saying that being this happy or goofing around is how they are on set sometimes and have to take a 5-10 minute break and Misha doesn’t seem too happy at the mention of the set. 

Jensen knowing that you can buy résumés on eBay. Did he buy Misha’s and then plant someone in the audience to bring it up or? Okay, yeah I know I’m reaching here but it’s probable.

 I guess my theory wasn’t farfetched because Jensen says that he’s pretty sure that Jarpad put it on eBay the previous night so maybe he is the one who did all that to win Misha back?

Jensen knows the appellation clogging is a stretch. Seems like Misha has told him about it before.

Jensen looking at his watch to see if they have time for  Misha to be telling a story about his high school sweetheart and now wife. I bet he wishes Misha could tell their love story so openly. He can’t stop looking at Misha.

The way Jensen is looking at Misha here. WTF man? He’s literally confused about what the question is.

The personal space question. This whole thing was just so many things. It was awkward, cringey, thirsty, funny.

when the fan asks whether there’s a funny fact between Jensen and Misha. I almost fainted. What? And Jensen repeats it. The two men are so stoic. They are not even looking at each other. They are looking at the fan like the way a statue stares at you, unmoving. Cringe.

The room is so quiet. Poor girl, I hope she didn’t feel awkward afterwards because if it were me, I would’ve cried from how stoic they looked and how quiet everyone was.

How they both scratch themselves, Misha on the head and Jensen on the nose. Maybe the question hit too close to home

Jensen turns to look at Misha as if to say ’help me out here man. We don’t wanna disappoint our fans.”

Misha gets it because he gets up. This whole thing is gold.

The way Jensen breathes out in anticipation. I know it was like they were playing a skit about personal space but why was he breathing like that? Shouldn’t he have been playing it as ‘uncomfortable’ not ‘turned on.’ Boudoir mannerisms.

Moving on Misha is unsure on where to touch Jensen 40.31. This is weird in and of itself because usually, they don’t have a problem touching each other’s faces, tush, eggplants, (jib4 anyone), backs et cetera. But now it’s weird? *cough* breakup *cough*

Misha touches Jensen’s ear and Jensen literally moans. He frigging moans people. In case it is not clear in the video, here is an isolated audio version of it. Jensen is also fumbling with his shirt like he’s all hot and bothered. Just like Misha did earlier. Was Jib3 their couple’s therapy that reminded them how happy and horny they made each other?

Jensen is really not answering the question, to be honest. He’s fumbling for words and trying so very hard to make sense but his word are  incoherent.

Misha going in for the nose dip. I know friends do this all the time but you have to be very close and familiar with someone such as a friend friend or a sibling for you to poke a finger in their nose. I mean noses are slimy and eww…anyway. That happened. They seem so comfortable with it. Jensen I love you but please stop talking.

The way Jensen looks at Misha. He has the cutest smile on his face as if saying thank you for making that fun and making me horny, I still want you.

Misha wiping his pinky that touched Jensen’s nose on his pants. (I wanted to add something disgusting about what heshould’ve done with that pinky but I won’t so let’s move on)

Jensen wiggling his nose.

When Misha suggests that Spn moves to Nickolodeon. Jensen laughs a bit too hard.

Misha talking about spn being a puppet show reminds me of how he mentioned them having a puppet show in Jensen’s backyard after the show is over.

Jensen also saying that in a way spn is a puppet show. I mean is someone making snide comments about how their strings get pulled and sometimes they are not happy about it. Like how they fired his boyfriend. It seems like it’s an inside joke.

They named the plushie Zippy aww :))

For jack’s sake guys, the way they look at each other when they mention that the  résumé was the highlight of the panel.

Jensen saying the more dirt you dig up on Misha, the more rewarded you are. Aww, someone’s trying to win his man back by any means necessary. You go girl…I mean Jensen.

He talks more about how he’s looking forward to next year when fans have more dirt on his friend Misha. Jensen didn’t want to leave the stage, he was lingering so he could spend more time with Misha.

It’s over guys.

Closing Ceremony

I know you didn’t ask for the closing ceremony but here you go. It’s a free gift.

Can I just mention how Jarpad is an overactive puppy? He has to play with anything and everything he finds.

The mc announces Misha twice for some reason. The second time Jensen looks in Misha’s direction with a small smile on his face. He [Jensen] is also chewing vigorously.

Jensen and Jarpad being typical dude bros and karate chop Rich. This is why the difference between his relationship with Jarpad and Misha stands out. He would be too busy making heart eyes to Misha to kick another guy. LoL.

Jensen hulking out when Jarpad is taking a video of everyone. Lol. This video keeps reiterating my point that his relationship with the two men is just different.

Jensen keeps looking in Misha’s direction, Misha who is busy talking to Steve and having fun. Let me also mention Steve is Jensen’s bestie and so are Jarpad and Misha, but I’m sure that Jensen felt some type of way, jealous when they were having so much fun with his man and he couldn’t. Jarpad also takes a while filming Misha for Jensen of course. They remind me of me having a crush back when I was in school. Wait, did Misha look at Jensen? It’s hard to see because the angle of the video is not expansive but I guess he was.

As soon as Jarpad gets back, Jensen takes the camera from him and starts filming fans. I’m sure he just wanted Misha to look at him

Rich mention’s Misha and something about acting on camera and Jensen licks his lips looking at Misha (I think).

Jensen then vigorously grabs the microphone from someone immediately and mention’s Misha. Jarpad’s reaction at that moment tells you everything you need to know about what’s going on between Jensen and Misha. It looks like he is pleading with Jensen in his head saying, “Don’t embarrass yourself bro. Please don’t” but it’s too late.

Jensen again talks about Misha’s résumé and specifically about acting on camera, the thing that made Misha laugh out loud during their panel. Someone’s smitten. Defending his ex-man.

Jarpad goes to whisper something to Misha. And they laugh while Jensen is thanking the jib staff for doing an amazing job. But when he sees the duo laughing, he loses track of thought and says “and they are all getting married”  dude what ??? How do you go from thanking people who worked on the convention and in .1 seconds you are talking about they are all getting married? Who is? Are you okay? Do you need to sit down? No one gets it, he says he’s kidding and gives Jarpad the microphone, spares a glance at Misha and he seems distraught from that moment on. I wish I could see Misha’s face through all this.

He’s glancing in Misha’s direction again. Man’s got it bad. What?! Oh to be loved by Jensen Ackles. Misha must be a prize, I know he is a mad genius and gorgeous and sexy as hell with that golden skin that looks like it was dipped in gold and honey, big blue eyes that are bluer than the bluest blue, but Jensen wtf man? You are in public.

 I think Jarpad is telling Jensen something maybe it has to do with what he and Misha were talking about earlier?

And it’s over people.

Overall, I agree with the breakup theory. I mean the way these two were acting around each other was very strange. If you watch Misha and Jarpad, they seem okay from the opening ceremony up till the end but Jensen and Misha are just being weird.

The panel was mostly fun but their body language told a story that something was definitely going on between them. 

@littlewolf2703

[theyarebothgunshot]

ROSE I AM FREAKING OUT HAVE YOU SEEN THE PREQUEL STUFF???? WHAT IS GOING ON, my god... I was literally about to go to sleep, decided to check Tumblr one last time and see this.... what WHAT!! WHATTTT!!!!!! I don't even know if this is good bad or what but just JENSEN IS PRODUCING A SUPERNATURAL PREQUEL AND DEAN'S GONNA BE THE NARRATOR OR Sth LIKE???? -🐸

YEAH i am normal about this <3 (jk i am also freaking out) welcome to: people screaming to me in my inbox about prequelgate ft. j/2 fallout theory. let's goooo!

Another copypasta and suddenly chaos machine is full on gay I love this prophecy

you know whats funny i just checked the j/2 tag and i feel like for the first time in a long time they are starting to realise that maybe THEY should be the ones who are "gutted" *sips tea*

ROSE HOLY SHIT ROOOOOOOOSE ITS HAPPENING HOLY SHIIIIIT

YEAH

Nevermind just read prequel and well good luck I guess but just you know kind of bleh who wants to watch John Winchester well let’s have hope anyways

i know a lot of people are bummed out but i am kind of very excited actually?? i trust robbie and even though yeah j*hn winchester turned into a nasty abusive bastard, it can be interesting to explore how it all started (imo). it's just the first of many stories they can tell.

I can only accept this circus if it’s Dean telling the stories to his and Cas’ kids and then we have a revival to show that the whole finale was in fact the end Chuck wanted there Jensen I fixed it

i would not say no to this

heyloo bee anon here

um- wtf is happening?

jackles prequel series?? why? i want to be excited about this but sheesh im scared

because supernatural is never dead <3

okay, but, jensen... john winchester ≠ jdm, you don’t have to go /that/ hard for him 🙃

true true... though i am waiting for jdm to comment on this, please i need it

WAIT A SECOND J2 FALLOUT THEORY TRUE??

LMAO HELL YEAH BESTIE

Rose you really picked the worst time to sleep for real

bestie it was literally 4 in the morning, what do you expect from me sdfjsfhsf

I can’t literally can’t we were all right LMAO j2 fallout theory is real and cockles (Misha supporting Jensen) is [gunshots] I’m just laughing cause what the hell is this timeline we’re living LMAOOOOOOOOOO

we would always end up here <3

Do we have the copypaste anons to thank for JP basically confirming the J2 fallout? lol 🦚

yes, everybody say 'thanks annoying idiots!'

ROSE, WAKE UP, COME HERE,

THERE'S A LOT GOING ON FFS

YEAH I KNOW BUT I NEEDED SLEEP

Anticipating that there's going to be a lot of yelling about the prequel on here: I am cackling, but also, I mean, the first time Dean got a look into his parent's past, Cas was the catalyst: literally entered Dean's mind and catapulted him to the 70s. So idk, it's not completely unreasonable to expect some Cas cameos, maybe setting up a parallel timeline since Dean is narrating. What I'm saying is, this is Jackles, he's getting JDM and Misha in on this lmao -Honeymoon Anon

you were right lmfaooo also i fully agree. misha's tweet further cemented that thought for me. he knew about this prequel and i dont think he is cas-baiting us, i think he'll be involved. i'd also be obsessed to see jensen and jdm act together again (though idk who jdm could play seeing as it's a prequel and he is way too old to play young j*hn)

longlivethetribbles heeft gevraagd:

Heyyyyyy bestie, are you SEEING the absolute madness going on right now holy shit

well a little late but I SURE AM BESTIE

bestie wake up pls s16 finale just dropped.

- 🍯

and WHAT a great one it was

I love coming home from work to see all of the chaos unfolding on Tumblr and Twitter. I'm absolutely buzzing right now. I'll probably still be here by the time you wake up and check tumblr 😂 - 🐢

lmaooo and were you still awake?? did you see my freak out??

Oooh bestie wake the fuck up, I know you’re gonna be excited for this one jsnsjsj

god i had SUCH a morning like. it's 12:00 now and all i did since i woke up is check tumblr rip

short summary: jen and dee gain the rights, they post on ig/twitter about a prequel ft john and mary that no one asked for, the fandom loses its everloving shit as usual, they trend on twitter thanks to the beloved twt intern who missed us, misha qt’s jen about cas possibly benefiting from being in the prequel, then j*red qt’s jensen abt how his feelings got hurt by him not being told about a prequel his character as no involvement in & he initially throws a tantrum, and the rest is history - 🦋 anon (ps: i hope this helps a little, i’ve been scattered brained trying to keep up with it all night lmao so pls let me know if i missed anything, bug crew !!)

thank you so much darling i figured it out eventually but this is a helpful summary!!!

I hope you enjoyed waking up to all of this XD -🐢

i sure did!!! also that answers my question about you being awake lmao

I WILL NEVER EVER EVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR SLEEPING THROUGH ALL OF THIS DRAMA AND NOT EXPERIENCING IT IN PERSON I DIDN'T NEED THIS SLEEP - tea anon

well the party was still going strong this morning so im not TOO "gutted" see what i did there lmaooo

Now that you are caught up with the news... So idk if you remember this but...didn't jarpad tell jackles he was up for a reboot in an online panel? And jackles answered that this was news to him??

-🍯

yeah i think you are right but he was clearly joking and didnt expect jackles to actually be working on something already

J2 anon spare more of those anons let's finish this - tea anon

please, we're having a ball in this bitch

I saw a post on tumblr where someone said now that Kripke gave J&D the rights, maybe they’re starting with a prequel just to end on a reboot in years time and honestly ? I wanna believe that so badly. This is tinhatty but what if this is all calculated in a way that makes it so that Jensen is slowly starting to fix everything that was wrong with spn - now that he has the rights and he’s slowly making spn his own story ?! I mean he did say in his ig post he wants to ‘fill in the rest’ - and maybe Mary and John’s story is only the beginning of spn related content from J&D to come ??? Maybe he wants to give spn the justice it deserves ?? Thoughts ??

i dont think this is tinhatty at all i think this is very possible and not that much of a reach. i could see this happening yeah for sure

want to hear something funny. I found out I had a ruptured blood vessel in my eye because I was sending my friend a video freaking out when the prequel news dropped and I noticed the corner of my eye was red af. and when I got back online jared had tweeted.

DJFHSJD ANON THE CHAOS OF IT ALL, HELP, are you okay? <3

rose.. bestie... how are you feeling about The News? nsfshsf being european is a curse </3 🐞

i feel GREAT im living for it i feel on top of the world tbh (and yeah it really is dsjfhs)

What am I waking up to I can't WHAT I rested my eyes for like 5 minutes help *hits reblog button* - anon anon

yep yep essentially djfhs

“Jensen and Misha are Co workers who barley talk”

I can’t be sure of course but I’m fairly certain that this is the copypasta that brought the j/2 fallout theory back to life. Who’s apparently ‘barely talking’ now? skansjsjsj. It’s almost prophetic, these j/2 anons have superpowers I’m telling ya.

-poker face anon

next time we get one of them we should be thanking them lmaooo

ok, but are we gonna talk about the "When Daneel and I formed Chaos Machine Productions, we knew that the first story we wanted to tell was the story of John and Mary Winchester [...]"-quote because the way this is phrased implies they formed CHAOS MACHINE Productions with the intent of telling this story (first), i haven't been in this dumpster long enough but the name just tickles me in that Misha way, isn't it so sus??? am i missing something???? i mean with this announcement they SURE lived up to that name... 🧩-anon

you are absolutely right, chaos machine SCREAMS misha and we are all here for it!!

hey hey hey. joining the clownverse, there's no way THEE cas girl danneel doesn't know just how much the fandom loves misha and cas. so 2 + 2 = misha in the spn prequel!

AGREED

So I think I finally managed to catch up on wtf happened while I was asleep and my brain melted. What a shit show to wake up to.

Anyway thoughts.

I don't hate the idea of a Mary&John sequel. I think it has the potential to be good (It has the potential to be really bad too, so I'm kind scared).

🕯️🕯️🕯️ manifesting Mary being badass and John being kinda useless🕯️🕯️🕯️

As for the Jensen and J*red thing.

I can see Jensen not telling J*red even if they are still friends, because J*red is kinda good at accidentally telling Secrets. He could have told him right before he announced it so, so that J*red didn't have to find out from twitter. He was on the show for 15 years, he is bound to get asked about it. The public twitter meltdown was really unprofessional so. Like you have Jensen's number J*red. You could have sorted that out in private like a normal person, but instead you choose to act like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Is it weird that I'm actually going to be kinda that for them if the actually had a falling out, even tho I don't like J*red all that much. They seemed to be really important to each other and while I thought before that the might have triefted apart a bit, I didn't think that the where actively fighting.

- 🐌 anon

the thing is, the polite/normal thing for jensen to do was text him before announcing it on twitter. it's weird he didn't, and that makes me believe that maybe yeah they did have a falling out. especially with the way j*red responded to it on twitter. if he had no other reason to be this upset (no prior beef or falling out) you'd think that he wouldn't be responding like this. on the other hand, the man is a mysterie to me so who the hell knows. i'm not gonna mourn about it if they did/do grow apart because j*red is just.... awful imo.

[charcubed]

Don’t be shy, share the take 👀

Okay, so last night I bitched in a mini tag rant saying how everyone on my dash was reblogging the same post with the same bad take and it was driving me bonkers, and then this anon sent me this message, and since I have now seen the post on my dash yet again, I will answer this ask lol.

Also this is an SPN-related topic so anyone not in SPN fandom can keep it moving lol

Before I say anything else though: I’m not out here trying to be a Fun Killer or whatever. Please note how I habitually stay in my lane and simply do not interact with posts that I do not like on this site. Do me the same courtesy and keep scrolling if you don’t like what I am about to say! I am also not trying to shade any mutuals who may have reblogged content I dislike. So... I’m gonna keep this very general, because it’s a wider topic anyway. And I know I’m not the only person who feels this way, based on private conversations (with long-time fans, too).

2 main points of contention:

-If people want to talk badly about Jared they can simply do so without involving Misha or Jensen’s name in it with what is typically bad meme-y format posts, coupled with unwittingly bad takes about Misha and Jensen in the process. I am being vague here on purpose, sorry, but whatever.

-And, mostly: this website is developing a problem with wanting to either call Jensen in particular homophobic or queer without using those exact words, and the result in either instance is people coming up with increasingly convoluted ways to be weird about him or towards him. It’s like either they can’t get a read on him so they want to disparage him, or they think they’ve clocked him but don’t want to mention it, and what ends up being posted in word salad hot takes under the guise of enlightenment is either... literal disgusting slurs (fruity, fag, dyke, etc) whether about Dean or Jensen or both, or the idea that Dean is bi but it was an accident and Jensen couldn’t possibly have been aware of that because it happened beyond his will, or that Dean and/or Jensen is simply repressed, or that Jensen wants to fuck Dean, or ????????

And it’s very like... literally what the FUCK are you even saying and why are you saying it, lol. I get that there’s a certain Style Of Typing that’s becoming popular in this fandom on this site right now, and it’s often in the name of this sort of exaggerated joke posting. But half the time people are just slinging around words and everyone thinks it’s funny and (seemingly) not enough people stop to think twice about how it is, more often than not now, getting fucking weird.

Is it a big concerning deal (beyond the slurs thing, which is absolutely inexcusable)? Nah, not yet. But the numbers are getting huge on some of these posts, and that makes me grind my teeth more, because it means this overall attitude/joke posting format is spreading throughout the fandom hivemind with very little resistance. And it’s upping the frequency of that sort of language and shitposting. So while things that stay on Tumblr don’t have huge impact, right now a lot of things are also transferring over to Twitter as fandom and stan culture has shifted. And that’s when we get into Dangerous Territory On The Wider Stage that can trend or route back to actors, especially because of how Twitter algorithms have changed recently. (I can elaborate on that if need be.)

Really the bottom line though is that I am seeing multiple variations / posts along the line of the same thought process, where the actors of this show (especially Jensen and Misha) seem to be casually dehumanized in language I find startling and off-putting, and people are getting this mental disconnect where they’re forgetting that it’s not okay to say certain things about real people even in the name of jokes. It’s even pushing it when it’s characters, but when it’s about the actors it’s the crossing of a double line. So it’s becoming normalized, and then people don’t stop and think twice, and the posts just circulate because they’re “funny,” and then I see the same thing on my dash 8 times and feel like I’m going insane. 

It bothers me and makes scrolling on my dash a minefield of discomfort, but yes, it’s not like that’s going to be seen by the real people in question as of now because Tumblr is Tumblr... but if this mindset becomes pervasive and normalized enough, what happens is people then become even further desensitized especially the kids who are new to fandom, and then in 8 months we’re gonna have some teenager at a con talking about Jensen’s “lesbian photoshoots” to his fucking face and also asking him how he feels about being overtaken by the spirit of a “repressed bisexual character.” The prospect of which makes me feel like I’m going to grow grey hairs.

So. Yeah. There you have it lmao. I am once again asking everyone to stop being weird about real people and queer topics (whether IRL or fictional), be mindful of language, and notice what they’re actually saying or implying in the name of jokes. But, feel free to think ~I take things too seriously~ or am exhibiting ~fake concern~ and just keep scrolling and ignore me though! I am simply answering the question.

[casmybelovedass]

The Destiel Folder: Season 6

[Season 4; Season 5] Man, this season... an emotional rollercoaster

Episode 3:

Cas admits he and Dean "share a more profound bond." (15:35) uuuhmm okay

"You think I came because you called?" (16:31) cut to "I always come when you call" later on in E21

"When a claim is laid on a living sould, it leaves a mark, a brand." ... like a handprint maybe? (22:33) Cas basically called dibs on Dean and admits it

Dean, I get it, Cas looks hot when he fights, but you don't have to look at him like this (24:42)

The amount of eye-fucking in this scene (25:56) almost 30 seconds (of Dean checking out Cas) of Old married coupleTM moments. Dean is worried about Cas dying again by the hands of an archangel. He just got attacked and wants to go out. But Cas has to go save the universe from a holy war. Basically a wife asking her soldier husband not to leave for the war.

[(26:28-26:30) Dean was totally looking at the BOOTY]

NOW FOR THE JUICY STUFF: Cas and Balthazar obviously had a history. More than brothers or war buddies. We could parallel them to Dean and Lisa: both old flames coming back after a long time and all.

Also, Balthazar can sense something is going on between Cas and Dean. It's so clear he can (35:26). ICWAW, we would assume Balthazar was an ex, getting jealous over Cas' new love interest

Episode 6:

"You asked me to be here, and I came", OH what about the whole 'I don't come because you call' thing? (13:40)

How domestic is this moment. Cas pouring Dean a drink, trying to comfort him (14:03). He hates seeing Dean like this, and hates even more the fact he can't do anything about it

Cas knows Dean is hurt enough already, and doesn't want to get him involved with a war that's not his to fight (14:20), but still wants to help

Episode 7:

Second time Cas starts stripping in front of Dean and he just stares (2:32)

Look, all I'm saying is... they really don't have to stand THAT CLOSE to each other (4:07)

Episode 9:

[Not a destiel moment but Dean struggling to say the words "gay guy" is too fucking funny to me (33:45)]

Episode 10:

Dean, will you not check out the angel in front of your brother, please? (11:54)

Dean is visibly uncomfortable at Cas watching porn practically NEXT to him, and having a BONER practically next to him. Understandable, but still... kinda gay (15:58) Look at Dean's face, my God (16:07)

[I'm screaming Dean looks like he's wondering what it'd be like to kiss Cas (25:29)]

"CAS?!" (26:23) the way Dean gets progressively more worried about Cas fading/being taken away and shit, kills me

[Cas is so fucking confused as to why Dean would suggest he'd let him have an hour alone with Meg (39:25), either that or he's embarrassed he might've actually wanted to. Meg and Castiel were cute together]

"If there's anything we can do-" "There isn't. I wish circumstances were different. *stares at Dean with puppy eyes* Much of the time, I'd rather be here." (39:46)

Also, Dean stares at Cas for 15 seconds, but averts his eyes when saying "We're your friends"? (40:01) Denial? Something's off. ICWAW, this would indicate tension, unspoken feelings

Just... the way Dean looks at Cas, and when he flies away (40:17) HIS EYES

Episode 11:

Balth jokingly calls Cas Sam's 'boyfriend', and Sam reacts normally, letting it fly over his head. When later in episode 17, Balth calls Cas "the angel in the dirty trench coat who's in love with you", Dean gets pissy. Just like later in 10x5. Touchy much? (13:48)

Balth admits he doesn't like Dean, and that "screwing him would delight me", but calls the one brother who threatened to crisp his wings, a "capable young man" (14:46). Jealous much? ICWAW we would read some sort of romantic rivalry between those two.

Episode 14:

This face... where have I seen this face before?

Oh yes, here

Dean looks at Lisa, the so called "love of his life", the same way he looks at Cas. Fuck my life

Episode 15:

"Cas" (Misha) starts stripping and Dean... stares... again (9:23)

"Well, Cas... now that you have your sword, try not to die by it." (39:53) Is it a saying? Or a reference to Dean being Michael's Sword? As in "He is gonna be the death of you"? And Balth looks at Cas THAT WAY?! (40:01) You can't tell me there was nothing between these two. Kill me now

Fucking stop being an old bitching married coupleTM already (40:25) you are hurting me

Episode 17:

Balth 'jokes' about Cas being in love with Dean (18:48) ICWAW we would read this as an ex being petty about the new love interest and teasing said love interest about it

Wow, jealous much, Dean? Again, ICWAW, this would totally be seen as jealousy for your crush's ex (27:30). And Dean, you're staring at Cas' lips again (27:37)

[Sam: "So, you killed 50,000 people for us?" Cas: *looks at Dean* "... No, I didn't... They were never born." (37:49) This is so stupid, but... sure, Cas... sure. That's what you ment.]

Cas makes a small speech about fighting for freedom, choosing your fate and all, while looking at Dean (38:55). OKAY SUBTEXT!!!

[As soon as Dean mentions boobs, Cas is gone (39:36) LOL]

Episode 19:

"It's not like Cas lives in my ass. The dude's busy. [...] Cas, get out of my ass!!!" "I was never in... your-" (4:28) and then they stare... Were you having unholy thoughts guys?

"Without your power you're basically just a baby in a trench coat" #MARRIED (10:38), "My friend is very sick." "I have a, uh... painful burning sensation." OH COME ON!!! (11:22)

"You know who whines? Babies. *pats Castiel*" (14:28) I'm sorry, pats him wHERE??!!

Dean saves Cas again (19:38)

The way Cas says "Dean, Dean!" (23:09)... I'm so fucking weak, and look at those EYES! (23:41) kill me now

"The kid... The little kid, he's one of them." "... Unbelievable." "Yeah, I know, Cas. You told me, all right?" (37:48) #MARRIED

Sam and Bobby immediately think Cas might be betraying them (39:31), while Dean won't even immagine the possibility. "This is Cas we're talking about!" (39:52)

Episode 20:

Even tho Dean can sense something is off with Cas, he won't bring himself to admit it. And the eye-car-sex. That. (4:44-4:53)

"You're distracted. [...] Is that all you're holding, huh? See... the stench of that Impala's all over your overcoat, angel." (6:20) this has such sexual undertones. ICWAW, it would be MENT as having sexual undertones. Also Crowley ships it

Dean protects Cas even tho clear evidence is there, and even feels bad about lying to him (12:06). And Cas feels oh so bad about Dean trying to be loyal to him, even when he was starting to suspect (13:18)

Dean still refuses to acknowledge the possibility of Cas' betrayal (19:56). His speech about Cas... I'm weak. "He broke ranks, gone to the mat, cut and bleeding for us, so many frigging times. This is Cas!" (20:10). ICWAW, this would be read as Dean having feelings for Cas, and as those feelings were getting in the way of his best judgment

Cas goes against the King of Hell to save the boys... but Dean first (21:48), and Dean defendes him against Bobby and Sam, apologizing for doubting about him. Cas hates having to break their trust

The look on Dean's face as he realizes Cas had been lying the whole time... BROKEN (23:35-23:49)

Cas doesn't want Dean to have to sacrifice more than he already had for him (25:19), and when Crowley shows up, Cas' first instinct is to look back at Dean protectively (25:30), and does that again before following Crowley (26:17)

Cas wants Dean to be happy, stay retired, even tho he was so longingly looking at him moments earlier (29:09)

"You gotta look at me, man. [...] Look me in the eye and tell me you're not working with Crowley." (32:38) the absolute desperation in both Dean and Cas, how HURT they look. THEIR EYES! Dean looks devastated

"I did it to protect you, I did it to protect all of you!" (33:09) one of the many "you, all of you" no-homo saves Cas pulls while talking to/about Dean

"I had no choice!" "No, you had a choice... You just made the wrong one." (34:21) how fucking hurt Dean looks. "Where were you when I needed to hear it?" THE EYES

"I was there... Where were you? *flashback to Cas looking back at Dean*" I'M DEAD

"It's not too late. Damn it, Cas. We can fix this!" "Run. You have to run, now. RUN!" (35:33) and they do, but Dean looks back at Cas, and the way they look at each other... STOP (35:47-35:52) ICWAW, this whole scene would seem like someone trying to save their loved one, and OH boy, that stare exchange would seem either a silent confession or a reminder of their feelings for the other

Cas visits Dean in the night, even tho they clearly don't trust him and don't want him there, and Dean leaves it be (38:06), and even apologizes for having to angel-proof the house against him

#MARRIED (38:28), "I'm doing this for you, Dean. I'm doing this because of you." (38:35) ICWAW... do I even need to point this out?

"Next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest thing I have to family..." the look on Cas' face as Dean says this (39:15) "... that you are like a brother to me." did Cas' eyes just get more glossy? Poor baby. Also, ICWAW, by the way they interact, this statement would feel wrong on so many levels

"You're just a man. I'm an angel." ... why does it feel like Cas is telling that to himself more than to Dean? (39:43) "I'm sorry, Dean." (39:55) Kill me

Cas questions his decisions, asks God for guidance, the moment he understood he hurt Dean. He doesn't want to hurt Dean, but will do what he has to do to if it means he will be safe

Episode 21:

[Not a destiel moment, but "fragile masculinity" much, Dean? (4:20) "I was too busy having sex with women." (why do you feel the need to specify 'women'?)]

This Dean-Balth bickering has such current-former love interest fight vibes (8:52). Come on, ICWAW, this would totally be the case

Here's another Cas/Lisa parallel: how Dean acts here, looking for Ben and Lisa (13:11), and how he acts in S8 while looking for Castiel ("WHERE'S THE ANGEL!?")

Cas saves Dean again (21:46). "I didn't ask for your help." "Well, regardless. You're welcome." #MARRIED

They are both on the verge of tears... "I thought you said that we were like family." (22:22) They hate this situation. They hate not being like always, close, friendly, family

"Dean... I do everything that you ask... I always come when you call. And I am your friend." (22:39) the way he says 'Dean' and how his voice trembles. Dean is basically almost crying now (23:45)

"Dean, I said I'm sorry and I ment it." "Thank you... I wish this changed anything..." "I know.. So do I." (37:45)

[Alright. I do believe Dean really grew to love Lisa during that year they spent together, but I don't buy the "I always loved you, ever since that one hook up on that one weekend we knew each other for" shit. Dean wanted to give a try to the whole 'apple pie life' he'd promised Sam, with a good woman he knew Dean had feelings for.

If he grew to love Lisa over a couple of years after 1 hook up, I'm sure he could do the same thing for Cas after over a decade (he for sure would have already If Cas Were A Woman)]

Episode 22:

["You've always got little old me." "Yes... I'll always have you." (30:26) These two... Come on, they HAD to be ex lovers!]

"We were family once. I'd have died for you. I almost did a few times (Cas did actually, twice). So if that means anything to you... Please... I've lost Lisa, I've lost Ben, and now I've lost Sam... Don't make me lose you too." (39:55) ICWAW, this would be seen as a straight up CONFESSION

The hurtful look on Dean's face when Cas says "You're not my family, Dean.", and the terror when he thought for a second that Sam might have killed him (40:39)

["You will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord... or I shall destroy you." ... okay, Cas, honey, I get you are tired of waiting, but this is not the right way to get a confession out of Dean (41:20)]

[Season 7>>]

[jawritter]

Cramps...

Request:  Hi you sweet thing! You write really amazing! Congrats on 200 followers. I wanted to make a Jensen request. Tumblr ask is too small so this ask will be in 2 parta😂 This is kinda based on my experiences. Can you make a Jensen x reader where one day reader doesn’t go on set because her periods have come. Jensen being her friend gets worried and goes to her house. When he goes he finds out that she has been vomiting. Her stomachache, body pain is too much for her to even move. So Jensen Takes her to her room. Takes care of her the entire day (tries to cheer up her mood coz too many mood swings, like movies or other stuff, you add yours here). When in the evening the pain increases a lot so he takes her to ER. It’s a normal thing but reader has to take an injection for the pain. Reader panics because she’s afraid, so Jensen stays with her the entire time. He takes her home and makes dinner. And stays the night, cuddling her even if she was on periods. don’t know if I made sense there but really reading your Jensen stories, I was tempted to read more your work! I know it’s a weird request involving periods and all. Not sure if everyone is comfortable talking about that so, Sorry for that🥺 it’s okay if you say no😅

Word Count: 2666

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Jensen x Misha.

Warnings: Period related talk, sick reader, language, fluff, Jensen being an adorable sweetheart, that’s about all.

A/N: As always all mistakes are mine! Feedback is golden! Please do not copy my work!! I hope you guys enjoy this one! I’m not a fan of the title, but my mind was just blank and that’s the best I could come up with after staring at the computer for 30 minutes lol. So go easy on me…

Want More? Check out my masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

————————————————————————————————-

Your POV:

Ever had one of those days that when you went to bed the night before, you just knew tomorrow was just gonna be a bitch? Well, last night when you finally get in from set you just new. Shooting in between pouring rain and in freezing temperatures with Jensen and Jared, you didn't get home until somewhere around three in the morning. Your back was killing you, you were slightly nauseous, and you couldn’t sleep. You knew what was coming, and you knew it was going to be a bad one, so you prayed for mercy from mother nature to whomever was listening, and popped a few tylenol before trying to get some sleep. You had an early call in the morning, and you knew the makeup girls would kill you if you walked into the studio looking like an extra on the walking dead…

You don’t know what time you fell asleep that night, but some time in the middle of the night, you woke up with an excruciating pain in your stomach and lower back. Getting up with a groan you stumble to the bathroom to see that your Aunt Flow had decided it was time for your monthly visit. 

“Great! Just freaking beautiful!” you yell at no one, silently hating the fact that you didn’t have a roommate to help you while you were living in Vancouver filming. 

You get into the shower, and turn the water on just as hot as you could handle it, letting it beat down on your aching lower back, relaxing your muscles a little bit while you could. Then when the water started to get cold you cleaned yourself up, and got out to change your ruined bed sheets before you got ready to go to set.

You had just thrown them in the washer when the nausea hit you like a wave and you barely made it to the bathroom before emptying your contents of your stomach. Great, it was going to be one of those. The pain that had ebbed away from the shower was starting to come back with a vengeance, and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to make it in to set today.

Picking up your phone you texted Richard the news, still sitting down on the bathroom floor by the toilet. It was going to be a long five to seven days, and it was just getting started..

Jensen’s POV:

It was still cold out as Jensen made his way from the makeup trailer to set, but at least the rain had stopped and the sun was out. That did seem to help some, but the wind was still a bitter cold, too cold for a Texan’s liking, no matter how long he’d been in Vancouver filming he never got used to the cold. 

Rounding the corner to the main part of the bunker set where they were going to be filming today, he noticed immediately things hand changed up, and no one had bothered to tell him. Misha and Alex stood in full costume, looking over their scripts, and Jared was talking to a cameraguy in full Sam gear. This wasn’t right, It was supposed to be just Y/N and his coverage today? Why had they changed everything up? 

Walking up to Misha and Alex he didn’t even both really with a greeting. He was to annoyed that things had changed yet again, and more than a little concerned as to why Y/N wasn’t here on set. Normally she was here about thirty minutes early to run her lines before they filmed their coverage with him?

“Why are you guys here? It’s supposed to be just Y/N and my coverage today?” he asked, coming face to face with Misha. Misha just shrugged. 

“Y/N text and said she was sick and couldn’t come in to work today, so they decided just to film everything that she’s not in and then do her coverage Monday.”

“Sick? What do you mean she’s sick? Did she say what’s wrong with her? Is she okay?”

Misha looked at Jensen like he’d grown a second head. The sudden concern making him furrow his brows as he looked at Jensen, who was obviously flustered over the fact that Y/N was sick. 

“I don’t know, she didn’t text me, I just know what I was told. She was well enough to text so I’m sure she’s just fine. Why Jens? What’s the issue? You’re off the hook for the whole day I think. Go home and go back to bed. You guys were really late filming last night and Y/N is probably just tired. Take a page from her book and go home. Take a break for once.”

Jensne took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb, trying to pinch away the impending tension headache. 

He had been harboring feelings for Y/N for months. Well, ever since the first time he’d laid eyes on her really. He knew her better than she’d probably known herself.

He knew how she took her coffee in the mornings. The way she chewed on her lower lip when she was stressed, or couldn’t remember her lines. The way she shifted her weight on her feet when she had almost had enough of his and Jared’s shit when they were messing with her. 

He knew that she always took a shower before work because in the mornings when they were getting ready to go to set that’s when her shampoo smelled the strongest to him, and he loved every minute of it.

He knew what she prefered for lunch everyday at the food tent before she even got there, and most of the time he had her plate already made and ready for her. 

He knew when she was trying to hide the fact that something was bothering her by the tone in her voice. He knew EVERYTHING about her, and he knew that she didn’t just call in sick to work. Hell, the girl came to work with the damn flu. Sickness didn’t usually stop her.

He couldn’t help but feeling a pit in his stomach that screamed there was something horribly wrong, and he had to go and check on her, and he didn’t care how sick she was, he wouldn’t rest until she felt better. No matter what was wrong, he’d be there. 

Your’s POV:

This was one of the worst periods you had ever had in your life, the pain was almost unbearable. The cramps felt like they were going to rip you apart from the inside out, you couldn’t stop vomiting, and the slightest movement on your part as far as getting off the bathroom floor did nothing but cause more cramping, and more nausea. So you dozed on and off between spurts of pain with your head leaned against the tub, silently wishing you could at least get a pillow. 

You thought you heard someone knocking on your door, but you figured it was just some idiot trying to sell something, so you just ignore it in your sleepy daze. That is until you smelled the distinct smell that was Jensen’s cologne. You'd have known it anywhere, even if you were clinically dead. 

Opening your eyes you saw Jensen sink down to the bathroom floor next to you, slipping the hair away from your face that had fallen out of the half assed attempt at a messy bun you’d done getting out of the shower. 

“Goodness Sweetheart, you look like you feel terrible,” he said, his deep rumble soft, and his eyes concerned. You should have known he’d be worried when you called into work, but you didn’t think he’d actually show up at your apartment just  to check on you. If you were being honest it made your heart swell just a little that he cared that much.

“Yea, be glad you were born a man, Jay,” you tell him, trying to set up but a wave of nausea crashed into you from the movement, and you leaned over the toilet drying heaving, your arm trying to grip your stomach against the assaultingcramps, feeling more than a little embarrassed that Jensen had to witness this. 

“Let me take you to the hospital Y/N,” he said, his warm hand rubbing up and down your back in soothing circles. You shook your head as you leaned back more slowly this time. 

“No Jay, it’s not use, this is totally normal for me. There’s really nothing they can do for me. It will pass.” 

Jensen narrowed his eyes at you. His adorable eye crinkles showing. If you weren't so sick you probably would have smiled at the concern he showed on his face. 

“They can give you something for pain and nausea...” 

Throwing up your hand to stop him before he got himself to work up.

“That means shots Jay, and you know how I feel about needles.”

Standing to his feet he walked out of the room for a moment, and you thought that maybe you’d pissed him off and he was leaving, but he returned before you had time to worry too much, minus his jacket. Bending down he scooped you up carefully into his strong arms and held you tight to his chest as he carried you through your apartment. 

Laying you down on the bed that had been turned down, he carefully pulled the covers over you tucking you in. 

“Well, you’re stuck with me then until you feel like yourself again,” Jensen said, moving over to the other side of the bed, and crawling in on top of the cover next to you, grabbing the remote to your TV on the way.

“Friends marathon?” he asked you, as he pulled you into his side, letting you lay your head on his shoulder and snuggle against him. “I heard you and one of the PA’s talking about it yesterday,” he said with a shy smile when you looked up at him a little amused. 

“Jensen, you don’t want to watch friends we don’t have too,” you told him, poking him in the ribs playfully and enjoying the way he deep chuck vibrated through his whole body.

“Hey, I like Friends. Joey’s my boy ” he said as he settled next to you, turning Friends on before laying his large hand over your lower stomach. The warmth from his hand soothing the assaulting cramps a little and you melted into him. 

“This okay?” he asked you, watching closely for any sign that he was making you uncomfortable.

“No, this is perfect. You're amazing, Jay. You’re gonna make an amazing husband some day,” you tell him, your eyelids getting heavier be the second, finally relaxing just enough to doze off as you felt his lips graze your hair. 

The two of you lay there most of the day watching Friends and cuddling. You couldn’t believe what a sweetheart Jensen was being to you, most men seemed to be grossed out by periods, but Jensen didn’t seem bothered at all. 

The only problem was that the cramps and nausea were getting worse. You’d thrown up two more times, and the pain in your stomach was enough to make you want to cry.

The worse your symptoms got, the more worried Jensen got. Finally pleading with you until you’d agreed to let him bring you to the ER. That’s where you found yourself now, laying curled on an uncomfortable ER bed, with Jensen holding your hand and running his fingers through your hair. 

“I’m sure they can give you something to make you feel better, Sweetheart,” he said. You could tell he was anxious about the amount of pain you were in, even though you’d told him repeatedly that this was normal for you. 

A few minutes later the doctor came in and confirmed what you’d said. It was completely normal, possibly a little overly hormonal induced period system for some women. Pain and nausea were just part of it, but he did say that he wanted to give you a shot to help with the pain and nausea. At which point you started to cry like a little six year old as soon as the doctor walked out of the room to get the charge nurse to give you the shot, and he did your release paperwork.

Jensen squeezed his large frame in the bed next to yours, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest, letting your cry into his shirt. He lay there shushing you, running his hands through your hair again and repeatedly kissing your forehead, which thanks to your hormones made you even more emotional and more weepy. 

“It’s gonna be okay, Sweetheart. Just a little shot, you probably won’t even really feel it, then we can go home and you won’t be in pain anymore. We can cuddle, I’ll make dinner for the two of us, and we can finish our Friends marathon. Or whatever you want to watch. It’s almost over.”

“I hate needles, Jay,” you mumble against him getting more and more upset be the second.

“Hey, hey, pretty girl, I’m right here holding you, it’s gonna be okay. Just hold on to me as tight as you can.” You can hear the nurse behind you, getting everything ready. You hid your face more into his shirt and his arms wrapped around you tighter.

“Okay sweetheart, just a little stick and you can go home,” the nurse said, cleaning the spot with an alcohol pad over that she was going to put the shot. You were shaking, and you felt Jensen lift your head up to look at him, his green eyes that had really no color name searched yours. 

It worked. He officially distracted you with just a look. Jensen was always able to do that. 

“Okay Hun, your finished! You can go as soon as you sign these papers,” she said, and you looked at her completely shocked that she had already done it.

“See, as long as you’re with me, nothing can hurt you,” Jensen said, kissing the top of your head for what seemed like the thousandth time, making your heart flutter in your chest. 

———————————————————-

Less than an hour later you seemed to actually be feeling better and were even walking around on your own. The doctor had given you something for pain and nausea to do you through the rest of your cycle, that much you were thankful for.

“Okay baby girl, you go get in the bed, and get yourself comfortable, I’m going to start on fixing us something to eat,” Jensen said, refusing to let you into the kitchen.

“Jensen, you don’t have to do all that, we can just order takeout.” 

Jensen laughed at you. “Baby, I’m not going to make you eat takeout, you've been sick all day and you need a home-cooked meal. You settle your little self in that room let me take care of you.”

You kissed him on the check and you could have sworn you saw him blush. 

You did as you were told, getting into bed and waiting for Jensen to come in with his meal, reading through some of your emails and things while you waited. When he entered the room he had a tray of food piled high with all your favorites. You sat there with your mouth hanging open. 

“Jay! OMG!! Please tell me some of that’s yours,” you tell him, looking at the feast he’d brought you.

“Hell yeah some of it’s mine,” he said with a wink as you started to dig in, and he made himself comfortable doing the same.

——————————–

Waking up the next morning you felt Jensen’s arm wrapped protectively around you. Rolling over so as to not wake him up you looked at his perfect sleeping figure. He’d stayed all night with you, holding you, making sure you were comfortable, not letting you do anything for yourself and waiting on your hand and foot, treating you like a queen. 

Running your hand through his soft hair lightly Jensen hummed in his sleep at you. You took in his beautiful features. His strong jaw, perfect dusting of freckles over his nose and cheeks. The man was gorgeous.

All your life you’d searched and hoped for someone like him to stumble into it, and you never realized what was right there in front of you. Watching Jensen sleep next to you this morning though, after all he’d done for you yesterday, you decided maybe there was such a thing as happy endings after all, and maybe, just maybe, yours was laying right here next to you.

————————————————————————————————–

Tag List: @deanwanddamons​​ @imabitch4jensen​​ @rvgrsbrns​​ @bi-danvers0​​ @onethirstyunicorn​​ @i-love-superhero​​ @akshi8278​ @alanegaming​

[chelsfic]

The Hot List, in which the NYC Familiar Discord Ranks their Masters - Nandor x Guillermo Fanfic (one-shot, crack!)

Summary: The familiars of New York City use Discord to connect and blow off steam...and also to rank their masters’ hotness. Nandor discovers this impertinence and throws an internet fit.

Tags: Crack with a touch of angst

A/N: I don’t know. 

---

NYC Familiar Chat #thirsty

Celeste-is-Best: nngh, have you guys seen Mr. 50ss’s’s’ss instagram story????

Celeste-is-Best: He’s so pretty! it’s like turn me, already!

Imurdad | colby: I know, right? I can’t believe he’s only 7 on the hot list…

[Gigi the great and sam teh pretty like this]

Gigi the great: Don’t forget to vote on this month’s poll!!

Best Hair!

We’re the ones who make them look pretty--but who’s the prettiest one of all? This month we’re voting on the NYC vampire with the best hair. Cast your vote!

A. Simon the Devious

B. Nandor the Relentless

C. Tilda

D. Evan

E. Houston

F. Nancy the Relentless

---

Guillermo locked his phone with a little smile. If he could he’d vote a hundred times for Nandor’s hair. It was unlikely that his master would win against the likes of Evan, Tilda and Nancy. He’d thrown Simon on there as a joke and was kind of horrified by how many familiars seemed to be into the limp mullet look. To each their own, he guessed.

On that note, it was almost nightfall and Nandor’s hair wasn’t going to brush itself. Guillermo made his way into the crypt, lighting candles and gathering the soft brush, comb, detangler spray and hair oils. Nandor was what he lovingly referred to as “high maintenance.” He was also surprisingly pitiful for a 750-year old warlord. It took Guillermo ages every night to carefully tease out and brush the knots from his hair without hurting him. It should’ve been annoying after so many years, but the chore remained one of the highlights of Guillermo’s day. 

For one thing, he got to touch his master without being scolded or hissed at. So that was nice. For another thing, Nandor’s hair was as soft as his personality was prickly. Guillermo would often drag out the task, running his fingers through the silky strands and lightly touching Nandor’s jaw to get him to tilt his head this way or that. 

He was doing just that, as well as admiring the expanse of cream and bronze skin revealed by the open collar of Nandor’s loose shirt, when the vampire opened his mouth. 

“Guillermooo...Did you happen to get any virgins for tonight?”

Guillermo’s fingers momentarily tightened around a hank of his master’s hair. He imagined giving it a sharp tug. He forced himself to loosen his grip and replied, “No, master, I’m sorry. Virgins are getting pretty thin on the ground lately. I managed to pick up a couple people from a bible study class, though. They should taste pretty innocent, right?”

Nandor made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat before answering, “You’d be surprised.”

---

NYC Familiar Chat #the-struggle

Gigi the great: I know we all jealously guard our sources, but I’ve been in a dry spell for a few weeks and my master is going to lose it and drink me one of these nights. Anyone have any new leads on virgins in the area?

Gigi the great: I’ve tried the usual stuff...LARPers, church socials, chastity clubs (surprisingly unhelpful…). I’m kinda desperate!

Direct Messages

Celeste-is-Best: only because you had my back last month when I ran out of burial sites…

Gigi the great: OMG! Celeste, please!! 🙏 🥺

Celeste-is-Best: there’s a magic the gathering tournament in brighton heights this weekend...😈

Gigi the great: You are like the virgin whisperer, Celeste. Thank you!

Celeste-is-Best: np

Celeste-is-Best: hey! Are you posting the poll results soon? I voted for Tilda--don’t tell Houston!! LOL

#main

Gigi the great: The results are in! The vampire with the best hair in NYC is……..EVAN!

Check out the Google Form for the full results...

docs.google.com...best_hair

Evan (26%)

Tilda (22%)

Nancy the Relentless (17%)

Simon the Devious (16%)

Nandor the Relentless (13%)

Houston (6%)

---

“What are you typing over there on your intelligent phone?”

Guillermo hurriedly tucked his phone away and looked up to find his master mopping blood from his mouth with a lace-trimmed handkerchief. They were in an alleyway a few buildings down from the comic shop. The limp body of Nandor’s victim lay discarded on the dirty ground. Guillermo smiled affectionately at Nandor trying and failing to clean himself. He took the hanky from him and set about doing the job himself. The snow white fabric was quickly drenched in dark red arterial blood. 

“I was just, um...checking on another potential virgin source,” he lied. 

The familiar Discord was strictly secret. If any of their masters ever found it and saw their human servants’ uncensored discussions... The thought sent a panicked tremor down Guillermo’s spine and he thought--for the thousandth time--that he should delete the app and not look back. But the idea of continuing with this emotionally draining, thankless job without his little support system was just as disturbing. Besides, the server had really come through for him tonight.

“Well done, Guillermo!” Nandor praised him and Guillermo’s heart swelled pathetically. A small, shameful part of him imagined Nandor patting him on the head and he didn’t hate it. “That was the most delicious virgin I’ve had in months!”

“Thank you, master,” Guillermo smiled sweetly, his cheeks dimpling. Nandor watched him for a long moment and he could swear he saw his master’s eyes linger on his mouth. He shut that thought down before it could bloom into a hope that was only doomed for disappointment. 

“Well…I’ll see you back at the house.” Nandor vanished before his eyes, taking his bat form and darting out of the alley with a high-pitched squeak and a furious flap of his leathery wings.

Guillermo sighed, looked at the broken body and wondered if he’d be able to fit his car down the narrow alley or if he’d have to drag the corpse to the opening. He fished out his keys and started the short walk back to his parking spot. All the while thinking, with distracted horror, Simon the Devious beat out Nandor for best hair?!? Really?

---

Direct Messages

Gigi the great: Hey, thanks! The Magic tournament was a hit!

Celeste-is-Best: i do live to serve…

Gigi the great: Har har.

#bitch-session

mish-bish: Ugh!!! Pretty sure my asshole master is hypnotizing me again.

call-me-karen: That’s rough, Misha! You wanna talk about it? My master lets me take the car whenever I want. I can come pick you up…

mish-bish: Yeah, like...I definitely have a huge black hole in my memories from last night. Fuck.

mish-bish: Oh, that’s ok Karen. Thanks.

Gigi the great: Hey @mish-bish. Sorry you’re having a hard time. If you feel up to it, check out the #support channel. A lot of other familiars have gone through this and talked about it there. Sometimes it helps to hear how others cope!

---

“Guillermo! Guillermoooo!”

Nandor’s panicked bellow reached him all the way in the basement where he was checking his lye supply. Guillermo huffed it up the stairs and raced into the fancy room where he found his master staring aghast at his laptop.

“Wh-what is it, master?” he asked, bent over and catching his breath.

“Someone named...Rap4Unlyfe has sent me a fake news!” Nandor wailed, gesturing to the laptop as if the device was personally responsible. 

Guillermo suppressed an eyeroll and walked over to sit beside his master. He watched in dismay as Nandor scooched farther down the couch but he tried not to let it sting too much. 

The browser was open to Nandor’s Hotmail account. He leaned forward to read the open message, unsure what to expect. The blood drained from his face as he read.

from: rap4unlyfe@sassycat.com

cc:  devious@sassycat.com; nandortherelentless@hotmail.com; travelbug54@aol.com ...

subject: rofl bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahah

yooooooooooooooooOO!

Has ne1 else seen there familiars on this site??? I hypnotized mine last nite to give me his phone password and...👀 

Mierda. There were two screenshots attached. One was the survey results page from the “best hair” poll. The other was an excerpt from the chat, specifically Guillermo posting the winner of the poll and the link to the results. 

Guillermo’s face fell into an adorably distressed frown. He darted a glance at Nandor but the vampire just looked confused. It wasn’t clear if he yet suspected that his own familiar might be “Gigi the great.”

“Huh…” Guillermo leaned back and smoothed his expression into one of untroubled amusement. “You’re right, looks like fake news. You should probably just ignore it.”

Nandor punched his fist into his thigh and snapped, “But Guillermo! I cannot let this go unanswered! This...this...ludicrous insult! Imagine...me losing a hair contest. Everyone knows I have the most beautiful hair!”

Guillermo blushed magnificently, “Of course, master! This is just...a prank. Someone playing a mean trick on you. You shouldn’t give them the satisfaction--”

The laptop chimed. Guillermo dove to prevent Nandor from reaching it but the vampire simply slapped him away with a petulant whine, “Give me that! Fucking guy…”

Nandor’s lips curled into a snarl as his eyes scanned over the screen. 

“Oh, no! Now they are making a mockery of me on the ether net!”

from: devious@sassycat.com 

cc: nandortherelentless@hotmail.com; travelbug54@aol.com; rap4unlyfe@sassycat.com… 

subject: RE: rofl bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahah

Oh! That is too delicious! Suck it, Houston and Nandor! 

It gets even better. Have you seen this, yet?

vamp_hot_list.doc 

“Guillermo, what is a hot list?” Nandor asked with a worried frown, clicking on the attachment. 

“No, master! Don’t--”

It was too late. He watched as his master’s eyes lit with understanding and then intrigue and finally outrage.

“29?! I am number 29 on your dirty hot vampire list!? What is the meaning of this?” Nandor bristled like an angry porcupine, his eyes shooting metaphorical quills into Guillermo’s soft flesh.

“It’s not my list, master!” he insisted and then, guiltily, “Not only mine…”

“Guillermo!” Nandor gasped, his eyes returning to the screen for a moment before pinning him with outraged accusation. “So, it is you!? You are...Gigi the great? Well, I do not think you are so great, little guy! In fact I think you’re pretty un-great right now! And disrespectful!”

Guillermo sank into the couch cushions, melting under his master’s ire and replying miserably, “It’s not as bad as it looks!”

Nandor turned back to the screen and began reading off names from the top of the list, “Viago! Nancy the Relentless! Evan! I suppose these are all vampires you’ve been dreaming of doing the hanky panky with! Putting them on the top of your list above your own master! That’s two demerits, Guillermo!”

“What!? No! Master, I didn’t make the list! We vote on it! Everyone gets a say. If I made the list of course you’d be at the top--”

Guillermo snapped his mouth shut. His face was on fire and he felt like crying. Nandor must have some inkling of his crush, right? After ten years of service? This couldn’t really be the life-ending mortification that it felt like. He waited, wide-eyed, for his master’s reaction. Nandor stared at him, his huge, dark eyes filled with shock and anger. After a long minute he turned back to the laptop, waving a hand dismissively in Guillermo’s face.

“Go to your room now, Guillermo! I need to think of how to punish this impertinence!”

Guillermo stood, barely holding in humiliated tears. He gestured to the device in Nandor’s lap, “My laptop…”

Nandor held it out of Guillermo’s reach and hissed, “No! Vampire only computer time, Guillermo!”

Guillermo left, trudging out of the room with a sinking feeling in his stomach as the sound of Nandor’s flop-wristed typing followed him out the door.

---

#main

Gigi the great: Is everyone okay?

call-me-karen: not fukcing great!

Imurdad | colby: Seriously! WTF!!?

Gigi the great is typing…

Guillermo lay on his little cot with the crocheted blanket his amá made for him pulled up to his chin. Tears streaked down his cheeks and the phone’s glare reflected in his glasses. He thought back to every off handed complaint, every silly photo turned into a “master-shaming” meme, every confession, every joke. All of them laid bare to the world. The Discord server started out as goofy, harmless fun. The hot list was the perfect embodiment of that. But it became so much more. Being a familiar could be lonely. You were isolated from other humans and surrounded by cold, uncaring monsters all the time. Guillermo loved Nandor. Everyone knew this...there were even memes about it on the server! But sometimes his master’s aloofness got to be too much and he needed to reach out to other humans who understood him! 

He threw his phone down onto the mattress, angrily pawing at his teary eyes and wondering if this was it. Not just the end of NYC Familiar Chat, but the end of Guillermo the Great, his long-dreamed-of vampire alias. There was no way Nandor would keep him as a familiar after this…

---

Direct Messages

Celeste-is-Best: OMG! Guillermo, have you seen this?

Celeste-is-Best: http://familiar-hot-list.colinrobinson.net

Celeste-is-Best: hey, if this is Nandor’s big revenge scheme I think you’re going to be ok

Celeste-is-Best: we miss you! 

---

Guillermo heard his master calling him and cringed. It had been a week since the hot list incident and Nandor had spent every waking moment making little jabs at his familiar and grousing about how he’d been betrayed on the internet. But to Guillermo’s surprisingly intense relief, he hadn’t been fired. After ten years of disappointment and hopeless pining, Guillermo half-expected to welcome the prospect of finally being put out of his misery, so to speak. He was kind of shocked, therefore, to feel happiness and gratitude that his master had decided to keep him around, even if only as a verbal punching bag.

He found Nandor in the library, smugly brandishing the purloined laptop. 

“Come have a look at your punishment, Guillermo,” Nandor patted the couch beside him. “This is what happens when you disrespect vampires on the ether net.”

Guillermo swallowed the lump in his throat and collapsed beside Nandor feeling like a man condemned. Their thighs pressed together but for once Nandor didn’t move away. He shoved the laptop at Guillermo and handed him a yellow sticky note with Colin Robinson’s handwriting on it.

“Colin Robinson has assisted in creating a webpage for your disgrace. We have done our own hot list! A familiar hot list. All of the New York vampires voted. So, now you can see how not nice it feels to have your hotness besmirched for all the world to see.”

Guillermo typed in the URL and blinked as the neon green background scorched his retinas. The page was a hideous callback to the internet of the late 1990s right down to the hit counter at the bottom. There was a border of pixelated dancing Draculas surrounding bright orange text.

NYC Familiar Hotness Ranking

1. Guillermo (Nandor the Relentless) - 19%

Guillermo looked at the screen, then over at Nandor, then back to the screen again.

“Master? Have you looked at the results yet?”

Nandor’s brow knit with confusion, “No, why? What does it say?”

He grabbed the laptop and squinted against the garish colors. Guillermo watched Nandor’s face carefully as he read the results. He looked surprised and almost...pleased at first, before giving in to his patented aggravation.

“Fucking Colin Robinson!”

---

New NYC Familiars Group! #welcome

Imurdad | colby: Hey @everyone! Welcome to the new Discord server. Guillermo has stepped down as a mod but he’ll still be around. We don’t have a perfect solution for the security problems we had with the last server. We’re asking everyone to be vigilant about hypnosis and if you feel like you’re losing time, please be sure to secure your phones/computers away from your masters….

---

to: nandortherelentless@hotmail.com

from: travelbug54@aol.com

subject: Something you might want to see…

Hey Nandoorman! How’s it hangin’?  

Listen, I’m sorry that your revenge didn’t go as planned. I noticed you’ve been a little short with Gizmo ever since this whole thing started. As someone who cares about my roomie, I want to advise you to knock it the hell off. Also, I don’t relish the thought of returning to the days before Gizmo came along. Do you even remember what the house used to look like? Pools of blood everywhere. Dead bodies. Melted candles all over the place...

I digress… I managed to snag this screenshot from Count Rapula. I think you may find it interesting.

Your pal,

Colin Robinson 

discord_gizmo.jpg

#confessions

Gigithegreat: Hey guys. This isn’t easy for me to share but I know I’m not the only one who’s dealt with this and if I can help one of you feel less alone then I’ll be glad. As most of you know, I recently “celebrated” my 10th anniversary as Nandor’s familiar. I was convinced, absolutely convinced, that my master was going to make me into a vampire. Well, once again it didn’t happen. He made me this weird portrait out of glitter instead. And the thing is...like, I should leave, right? He’s never going to turn me and that’s the basis for our whole arrangement. I serve him faithfully, he turns me into a vampire. It’s simple, right? So why am I still here? Why am I still burying bodies for him and making human sacrifices? Dressing and feeding him? Treating him like he’s some kind of god and not an ancient cranky baby?  It’s because I’m in love with him. Hopelessly, stupidly, self-destructively in love with my vampire master who thinks of me as nothing more than a really well-trained poodle who can talk. Why? WHY? Because he makes me laugh. Because he’s fiercely protective of his vampire family and (sometimes) that includes me. Because when we’re alone he can be so adorably, painfully vulnerable and it feels like a privilege that I get to witness that side of him. Because he does ridiculously stupid but considerate things like spending hours making me a glitter portrait. When he’s happy with me I feel like I could float and when he’s disappointed I feel like being swallowed up by a sinkhole. And, yeah, he’s also man-of-my-dreams outrageously hot and I cannot believe you cretins have him ranked #29 on the hot list. It’s a crime. 

Gigithegreat: So, yeah. That’s why I stay. I’m no longer hoping for a bite that will never happen. Now it’s a kiss, a hug, a touch, a look. Anything he’s willing to give me I’ll gladly hoard in my little closet-room along with my glitter portrait. Because I’m pathetic. That’s it. That’s the confession.

Imurdad | colby: Brave words, Guillermo. Hang in there, friend.

blood_princess: this is a mood

sam teh pretty: Sending you healing head scritches ❤️

Celeste-is-Best: look, i think i speak for us all when i say we need to see this glitter portrait!!!

[You’re Viewing Older Messages … Jump To Present? ￬]

---

Nandor looked uncharacteristically thoughtful while Guillermo readied him for sleep. The familiar guessed he was still angry that his little revenge plot had backfired. He couldn’t help but feel a little smug about his position as the hottest NYC familiar. Even if he was pretty sure it was mostly due to the other vampires messing with Nandor. Guillermo couldn’t really enjoy his victory, though, not with Nandor’s feelings of betrayal still weighing on his heart.

Nandor’s face was a stoic mask as Guillermo helped him undress. He cooperated listlessly, picking up his feet for Guillermo to remove his heavy boots, lifting his arms up over his head as Guillermo took off his brocade tunic. Finally, he placed his giant hand in Guillermo’s soft, small one and stepped up into his coffin. Guillermo stood by the side of the coffin as he always did, watching over Nandor with affection choking his throat. Nandor smoothed his hair down and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Sweet dreams, master,” Guillermo whispered, leaning across him to catch the lid of the coffin.

“Wait, Guillermo,” Nandor spoke without looking at him, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. “I wish to say something to you.”

Guillermo’s heart sank in his chest. Oh no...his stupid middle schooler revenge didn’t work and now he’s going to send me away… Tears pricked his eyes and he choked, “C-can’t it wait until tomorrow, master?”

“No. I must say this now,” Nandor responded, oblivious to his familiar’s internal drama. “I want to say to you that--and I think I’m being extremely gracious and lenient here--it is fine for you to have your little, pathetic familiar group on the dark internet.”

“O-oh,” Guillermo quickly swiped the tears from his eyes, “thank you, master…”

“But no more mee-mees, Guillermo! Master-shaming...very disrespectful!”

“Of course!” Guillermo laughed, delirious with relief. 

Nandor looked up at him with a final warning glance before softening, “Alright, then. As long as we are clear on that…”

There was a long beat of silence during which Guillermo found himself locked inside his master’s gaze. Nandor’s eyes were like pools of rich, melted chocolate. Guillermo imagined himself as the German kid from Willy Wonka and for a second he was in danger of breaking down into giggles. But then his master spoke in that soft, uncertain tone he only used when they were alone and he was feeling fragile.

“Guillermo...did you really vote for me to be the number one hottest vampire?” Nandor toyed with the buttons on his shirt and looked up at his familiar with a shy, open expression.

Guillermo’s cheeks burned and he wanted to laugh and hide and kiss his master on the mouth all at once.

“Yes, master, I did. You’re…” he cleared his throat and tightened his grip on the lip of the coffin, “so handsome, master. So beautiful...”

He watched his master’s chest expand with pride and his lips twitch into a haughty smirk. 

“That’s true, Guillermo. Good job for noticing,” Nandor praised him in a voice that was a little too loud. It rang with a false sense of self-assurance. After a few seconds he went on in a quieter tone, “Do you know, I--this is very silly, Guillermo, you mustn't tell anyone this--I voted for you, too. As the hottest familiar…”

Guillermo’s stomach did a little swoop and his lips curved into a blinding smile. His dumb, beautiful master thought he was attractive? Guillermo tried to reel himself in; he tried to remind himself that Nandor probably only voted for him to boost his own reputation. But--wait?--hadn’t the list been meant as a revenge against Guillermo? God, what a handsome idiot.

“Thank you, master,” Guillermo gushed and now he was certain that Nandor’s eyes strayed too long on his smiling lips and red, dimpled cheeks. 

“Alright then!” Nandor pulled the emergency break on the moment. “Time for my evil slumber. Night night, Guillermo!”

And in a slow motion moment that would feature in Guillermo’s dreams that night, Nandor reached up and put his hand over his. Nandor’s cool, smooth palm rubbed over the back of Guillermo’s warm hand and his fingers squeezed slightly. The breath rushed from Guillermo’s lungs and he could only squeak in reply, shutting his master into his coffin and moving away with a dazed smile on his face.

A muffled sound came from the coffin just as Guillermo reached the door to the crypt.

“...And I don’t think of you as a poodle…”

“What was that, master?” Guillermo called.

“Nothing, Guillermo!”

Guillermo shuffled off to his little room feeling like he was carrying a happy little flame inside his chest. For once he gave himself permission to hope without fearing disappointment.

---

New NYC Familiars Group! #thirsty

Celest-is-Best: SORRY NOT SORRY!!!! Simon can get it…

blood_princess: ummmm thirst after your own master, Celeste. Oops sorry she’s 12.

mish-bish: Lmaooo. Gross Celeste!

Celeste-is-Best: listen.

Celeste-is-Best: ...i got nothin. I want his evil dick.

…

Gigi the great: Please look respectfully at this photo I snuck of my master the other night. Do I really need to explain myself further???

Celeste-is-Best: that’s it. guillermo, ask nandor if he needs another familiar. my body is ready!

Gigi the great: Back off, bitch!!!!

Gigi the great: jk love u

Gigi the great: but srsly back off

#master-shaming

mish-bish: submitted without comment

[Imurdad | colby, Gigi the great, Sam teh Cat, and 6 others like this]

...

Gigi the great: 🙄🙄🙄

Gigi the great: I hate him I love him

#main

black-peterrr: ohohoho, has anyone talked to Guillermo lately…..?

black-peterrr: a little raven told me he and Nandor were seen HOLDING HANDS in the park the other night…

call-me-karen: WHATTTTTTTT

Celeste-is-Best: @Gigi the great, CONFIRM OR DENY!! GIIIIIGIIII!

Gigi the great: ……...I don’t kiss and tell 😉

Imurdad | colby pinned a post

Imurdad | colby: This is momentous.

#memes

Gigi the great: hot take…

Imurdad | colby: bahahaha, okay…

Imurdad | colby: 

Gigi the great: But have you considered…

Imurdad | colby: lol compelling

Call-me-karen: I mean…..👀

Celeste-is-Best: Ha...ha...ha…*sob*

Direct Messages

Celeste-is-Best: Gigi! we miss you! ur never online lately... 

Celeste-is-Best: too busy getting that ottoman empire dick, huhhh??

Gigi the great: OMG Celeste! You’re out of control!

Celeste-is-Best: that wasn’t a denial…

#main

Gigi the great: Hey guys...sorry I haven’t been active lately

Gigi the great: Quick update though....

GIgi the great:

blood_princess: OSDFJweoiflkdfaf omgggggg gggggiiiiiiigiigigig!!!!!!

Jameson: Holy shit, man. Congrats.

Celeste-is-Best: GuillerrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmooooooOooooO!O my baby! you look amazing!

call-me-karen: DO YOU NEED A FAMILIAR!!?!?!?!?

Celeste-is-Best: jesus, karen lol

blood_princess: my master is having an orgy right now. I just locked myself in the bathroom--I’M FREAKING OUT!! What is it like? IS that blood on your collar??? OMG how was ur first feeding?

Imurdad | colby: FAMILIARS ONLY, GUILLERMO!!

Imurdad | colby: I’m kidding. OMG I’m so happy for you! (And burning with jealous rage)

Celeste-is-Best: look how fucking happy Nandor is

Celeste-is-Best: i’ve been shipping you two from the beginning, Gigi!

Celeste-is-Best: …..hope you’re not going to forget who helped you out with those virgins last month…

---

“Guillermo!” Nandor’s voice was half whine, half growl. “It’s very difficult to sleep with that light filling the coffin! What are you doing anyway?”

The screen illuminated Guillermo’s grin as he answered, “Just posted that selfie we took to the familiar chat. They’re freaking out.”

Nandor turned onto his side, nuzzling his face into Guillermo’s neck and tickling him with his beard, “That’s nice. Sleepy time now, Guillermo.” 

“Yes, master,” Guillermo breathed and Nandor purred low in his chest. Some things had changed since becoming a vampire and others had stayed the same. Calling Nandor “master” had taken on a new, thrilling subtext.

Nandor’s arms snaked around Guillermo, tugging the smaller vampire into his chest. He let out a contented sigh and his body went still as he began to fall asleep.

“I guess I should probably leave the group,” Guillermo yawned--force of habit. “Since I’m not a familiar anymore.”

Nandor wrenched himself from sleep with the power of his own petulance, “Hey! What do you mean ‘not a familiar anymore’? Just because a guy gives his boyfriend the gift of eternal life he thinks he can quit being his familiar!? Who’s going to brush my hair?! ‘Not a familiar anymore’...fucking guy…”

[thornstocutyouwith]

My relationship with Supernatural has been

Obsessed with Sam

Likes watching Dean get hurt.

Hahah. Fuck you John. That haircut is RIDICULOUS!

Misha Collins.

Fuck you Sam. You are the worst character.

Castiel is now best character.

Dean is a lot more entertaining.

Sam shut up.

Sam, SHUT. Up.

Please for the love of all that is Holy in Castiel’s BODY, shut the fuck up, Sam.

I like Lucifer. He’s a good boy.

Lucifer is evil, I like him more.

You wouldn’t mind if I just, disappear and not watch the show for a bit, boys, Right?

Fuck monster of the week.

Fuck Monster of the Week.

FUCK, I HATE MONSTER OF THE WEEK.

I WANT A STORY!

Finally Lucifer, please, kill all your siblings.

Especially that one.

Noooo...NOT Adam.

His name is Chuck, and I don’t GIVE A FUCK.

Yatta yatta yatta, Please. SPARE me this SHIT. Where’s the story?!

Oh Surprise surprise. ANOTHER monster of the week. Hot damn.

Castiel and Dean are looking great these last couple seasons.

Destiel is certainly a thing to ...behold.

Stop talking about Destiel.

Stop talking about Destiel.

Personally I’m a big fan of Castiel getting the worst treatment. Because in the end he deserves the best and this show is never going to end because they said so.

John’s hair makes perfect sense when he’s younger. Younger John is awesome.

That time I only came back to watch Dean be a cowboy

The time I came back because Castiel’s plot got an update.

CASTIEL IS GOD!

Look at him go. Zoom!

There’s sin everywhere.

He’s falling apart!

Oh....Oooo Yes. Be a badass.

My obsession with ‘black veins’ as marks of evil has a start date.

Where’s Adam?

Blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Tell me when something GOOD happens.

Crowley is my THIRD favorite character. I’ve just decided.

Demon Dean. FINA-FUCKING-LLY!

This season is one of the good ones.

The best thing about Crowley’s mother is her accent.

LASSITER?! DOES SHAWN SPENCER KNOW WHAT YOU’VE BEEN DOING SINCE PSYCH ENDED?!?

What happened? I disappeared for a minute and now The Darkness is released? DOES IT add to the story? Good. Then I’ll take it.

And there goes my ability to give a single shit. See you later boys.

Missing all the Casifer in the process of ignoring all the stuff I don’t care about.

Oh knooooow *Being ‘spoiled’ by tumblr how much of the next few season are going* Not...Charlie...How terrible.

Comes back to watch the end of the season where Amara and Chuck fight each other.

“How Lovely. Brother and Sister. Together again. Makes me SICK!”

There’s The Anti-christ. It’s happening! Finally!

Back tracks through season 12 to make sure I have all the knowledge I need.

Oh, well, fuck it. Leaves before the baby is born.

Sees the baby in a closet now a full grown man through a set of tumblr gifs “Interesting.”

Jack is now my second favorite character. You are welcome.

Aaannnd where back to bullshit. Call me when you latch onto a significant plot development.

A Scooby do episode?! NO WAAAY! I hate it already.

Wait. GABRIEL’S BACK? WHERE!

Oooo.....noooo Michael took over Dean’s body. It’s not like. I’ve barely been watching this show. Because that should have happened. FOREVER AGO! No. Couldn’t be. I would never be so stubborn.

Annnnd it gone. Lame. I’m going back to pretending nothing’s going on. Because NOTHING IS!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE’S DEAD?!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BELPHEGOR TOOK OVER HIS BODY!

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!? I mean, I like it. Belphegor. Good for you

Imagine that, Chuck, not being very nice. Imagine it. Completely destroy his character. Who honestly gives a fuck at this point.

Despair. Yes. I suppose the very lease I can do is watch the last few episodes of the final season. THE VERY LEAST.

Heey Castiel...What the HELL happened to yOU?!?

Yeeesss, Let’s blog the child up. I like that plan. He’s going to explode real nicely.

Look at them. All Glowed up and NO WHERE TO FUCKING GO.

God, please. God. Just. Why. Why are you here? Who pissed in your cornflakes.

You can’t blame Castiel for all your problems God.

So your angel Finally said It loves you and then gets sucked into SuperHell. That sucks, Buddy.

Everyone’s gone. Again. Good. How it began. How it should en-

Siiiiiiiigh. YES?! DEAN?? SAAAAAM? What the HELL is your problem? Oh. Do you miss your friends? Do you? Waaaah. Do the Winchesters need a WAAAAMbulance? Where’s ADAM!?  You think about that. You think about what you’ve done for so long.

Oh hey, there’s Adam, welcome back meat suit. Michael, have a seat. Betray that which you should be protecting. AS IF YOUR FUCKING PURPOSE.

Look at that my Third favorite Character is here to and has clearly lost his FUCKING mind. Lucifer, are you alright?  Did you-And he’s gone. Well that WAS FUN.

For some reason I get the feeling that this entire episode is a farce. Because I do not believe Dean is smart enough to remember ALL of that mind fucking of a plan AND pull it off at the same time. But if it is real, well color me surprised. Because Sam actually explained something properly for once in his life without needing to backtrack and duped Death, God, AND the Archangel Michael. Hot damn.

BOOM!

So that thing becomes a power vacuum and just sucks up all the powers of a Primordial being... Okay. Whatever you say.

Don’t make Rob breath in the dirt! Stop it! Rob’s been through ENOUGH!

So we just going to leave Chuck out here and be all “We don’t need to destroy him” Now. Bitch. You were two minutes away from putting a bullet in your own brother just to throw a Child turned into a BOMB at God and his Sister, so that you could destroy him an episode ago. Who you kidding?

Ew. Why would you allow THAT thing to be GOD?!

I’m going to miss you, ....Jack.

God is now my Fourth favorite character. What can I say. Anyone who blows the door off it’s hinges and has the nerve to walk like a super villain and accuse everyone who fucked up their story to their faces has to be fourth best character in my book. lol.

“You want to watch the final two hour episode with me?”

“It’s going to be a highlight episode for the first hour. No.”

[ain-t-bovvered]

JiBcon 2019

Hi everyone, welcome to my early recollection of the “what the fuck is going on” JiB convention.

So as I hope many of you know I’m Italian, but I live in the North ( lol long live the North y’  all, it’s the best I guarantee, I mean I always miss the north so much every time I leave). Anyway, Rome is like not even an hour flight from when I am so I didn’t even felt the flight nerves because it was over even before I could say: “ fuck I wanna land already!”.

[Listen I have a lot to say, this is going to be real long so get ready]

1ST DAY, 17th May

I arrived in Rome Friday at noon and went straight to my hotel, not the Hilton because.... lol, it was a hotel like 5min away ( but still they charged me 8€ like....yeah alright forgot I’m in Italy, not that surprised).

Took a shower and then went running around the city to see as much as possible since the next two days I wouldn’t be able to. My feet were destroyed btw.

Whatever forgot to eat until I came back to the hotel at 8pm or something, fell into bed and lights out. I say lights out as in I switched off the lights, my eyes were wide open because... FUCKING JIB TOMORROW !!.

2ND DAY, 18th May.

Got up at the healthy time of 6am *groans in Italian* and got ready as best as my trembling hands could. I also tried to curl my hair but the second I got out and on the train, they were already fucked, THANKS ROME HUMIDITY.

Went to meet @purpleskiesandcherrypies in her room and, to quote her: “sHe’s sO ShoRT AnD CuTe “  y’ all. I was already in love ok? Nat babe, I love you and you are my queen ok? 

Anyway, we kept pacing in the room not knowing what to do and repeating that this was a really bad idea and fuck this shit and we are not fucking ready and why did we do this thing to ourselves,  for a couple of stressing minutes,  like two normal healthy people right? and then we were like....we should like.....go downstairs and get our passes right? should we? NOPe....yeah ok, we should. So yeah grabbed the passes and stood in line to enter the con premises. 

So my first thing on the schedule was Jensen Photo Op and like...* nervous laughter* why did I do that to myself? Anyway, Nat had an angel pass so she was in a different line but still beside me for a part of the wait, she went in first and came outside to scream at my face and like....thank you Satan I do not need this??? Then my turn came quickly ( had a Demon pass), too quickly for I was not ready when I entered the room and HE STOOD RIGHT THERE SMILING AND LOOKING FLY AS HELL LIKE AN ASSHOLE. 

Jensen OP: How is it?

first of all, YOU may think you are ready, bitch let me tell ya, YOU FUCKING AIN’T, so don’t even kid yourself, just stay in line and wait for your death, that’s what it is. AND YES, it’s really quick so try to stay focused on him ( LOL SURE ). My turn came and I couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot and I think he saw that because his smile grew and I SWEAR IT WAS CRINKLE CITY RIGHT UP THERE and I almost choked. I mean...he’s TALL OK, and his eyes were darker than I thought but I guess with all the edits of his pictures we see online one can get a very different idea of reality. His BEARD THO, it was lighter than his hair, almost looked red and so full and nicely trimmed, and I was like blinded by his smile because fuck that was bright.Also....Y’ ALL, JENSEN IS SLENDER, he’s so slender, I’m so used to him being in so many layers that seeing him in person and with just a jean shirt was a shock. I must say, Jensen is Jensen and Dean is Dean ( as in physically) I mean, I could tell and I loved it, it changed my grasps on both of them so much.  I tried to calm down to AT LEAST say a couple of words ( I was not expecting much from me honestly) but it went like this: 

me: Hi!

Jensen: Heeey!

me: is just a hug alright?

Jensen: sure thing.

He opened his arms and I just went in ( being respectful to not like lean on him like a leech, but yeah he pulls you closer if he’s in the mood), and oh god he’s warm and soft and smell like sunshine, well I smelled something sweet and spicy but the sweet part could honestly come from all the girls he hugs, in a way you could say he smell like us, lol. Like Nat, I didn’t even see the photographer at all I just look ahead and smiled, I didn’t think to smile, there was no need I was radiant, and I felt his hand covering most on my shoulder.

It was over before I could even realize what the fuck was happening. Anyway, we pulled away slowly enough that my hand lingered on his arm, and yes it was amazing. I said: “thank you so much” probably with tears in my eyes, idk (but  I know myself I probably was ) and he smiled sweetly and said, “no, thank youuu” and I was like.... lol ok I can’t, and went out the room walking on clouds. 

I’m gonna put something to cover my face in case this photo goes around Pinterest or some hell site similar.

let me tell you, I didn’t notice how tight he held me, but both his arms engulfed me. When I went to get the pic later I almost squealed because, LOOK AT HIS FACE, HE LOOKS SO CUTE AND HAPPY AND I DIED OK, Nat can confirm my freak out.

Anyway, done with that I needed a break, we both did honestly, and we went to sit for the panels. The first one was J2 panel, and awe I was not really ready to see him again, but YAY got my first glimpse of Jared and YEEEES BEARD AND BEANIE, love it.  You’ll all see the Panels everywhere so I’m not gonna be here and tell you everything that they said and did. But Jared talked about his new puppy and Jensen tried to open a bottle of unicorn wine and tried to punch the cork in and drink it ( insert many Italian offended sounds ), then he used heavy Texas accent and said Yeee-haw and I didn’t think I needed to hear that as much as I did, like....YES PLEASE AGAIN.

Anyway panel ended and they exit the stage, and boi Misha came up.

NOW LISTEN, first glimpse at Misha too.....and FUCK HE’S PRETTY OK?, HE’S SO PRETTY HE BLINDED ME DEAD FROM THE STAGE. The crowd just went B-A-L-L-I-S-T-I-C. Lots were leaving because they had Jared op and Jensen auto, and Misha was like: “Where are you, people going? SEND THEM BACK WHEN YOU ARE DONE JARED AND JENSEN!”.  Misha had a red jacket and a dark polo under it, boi I was already sweating.

Misha was his normal inappropriate self as always and I love it every time. Just let Misha be Misha y’ all, because if you don’t he gets in a bad mood, like I think happened the next day. 

Also, next game with friends while watching con’s videos: DRINK every time MISHA SAYS “UM”, OR JARED’S TOUCH HIS HAIR.

happy alcoholic coma y’ all.

I and Nat were not sitting near each other, I was far back but we texted and LOL, something like “what Misha smoked, I want it “ and “ he’s so pretty I wanna cry” and “Misha looks delicious” went back and forth, so everything was going GREAT.

Next, I got the autos from Misha and Jensen. And I wasn’t expecting much because yeah ...they are autos and they go fast. I was pleasantly surprised because you could look at them the whole time you are in line, and it’s a nice view alright. Jensen was already sitting and signing and I was in line for Misha’s, who was not there yet, and fucking surprise bitch, he entered the room and passed right beside me, at arm's length, and .....* takes a deep breath* ...I can’t even begin to describe him, like...I can’t. 

He’s tall, like...it’s true he’s the smallest in height but, fuck he’s still that tall and he’s so??? well??? built??? like....he’s massive and sturdy and like I think he has his own gravity because damn I couldn’t tear my eyes from him. And he was so tan and glowing, and FUCK HIS SMILE WAS SO SOOTHING AND I MELTED. He had a bit of a shadow beard that looked so good. Anyway, I get ready to die because my heart was pounding, I got up to him and same thing as always:

Misha

me: Hi Misha.

Misha: Hello! *smile*

me internally: AAAAAAAAH 

He signed with a little heart and gave back the card and he like kept eye contact and I said the weakest “thank you” ever, smiling like an idiot again, probably scrunching my nose because I do that, and he smiled his lopsided smile and winked ( like an asshole because COME ON HOW DARE U DO THAT TO ME). And let me tell you about his eyes. 

Jensen and Jared have real nice eyes, don’t get me wrong, but I found out that they are a bit different from what I had expected, not disappointed because DAMN, but yeah, different. 

Misha’s tho?....pictures don’t make him justice on any level. HE’S STUNNING! STUNNING! His eyes are really that light blue, and in person, they are even more beautiful, breathtaking, I felt like he was staring at my soul.

Next up was Jensen’s auto, stared the whole line, and UUUUUGH he changed his shirt in a brown t-shirt and you could see all his bracelets and necklace and he looked GOOOOOD. 

Jensen

Same as before I said “Hello!” and he smiled and said “Hi” while chewing like usual and god he’s cute ok. His auto was a bit faster and I knew I couldn’t say much but I tried while he was signing. I just said “Thank you for everything Jensen” and he smiled while signing and thanked me and then I was floating out the room already.

Then I and Nat went to have some overpriced salads, which we didn’t even finish because, first of all....we were fangirling too much over ...well, everything, second, not that hungry.

Lunch time’s over, I went to get all the autos available, and I was giddy like a schoolgirl, Rob, Adam and Rich y’ all.

Rob 

He’s striking, and he’s so sweet and looks so delicate and his voice is so warm and welcoming and I wanted to cry how cute he was. I said Hello Rob, and how he was doing, and then I unblocked and told him I hoped he was having a great time and he got so happy and shiny eyes and said he was having a fantastic time and asked me the same. I wanted to keep talking but again, like Nat’s said you don’t wanna keep the line waiting so I just smiled and say thank you so much and bye. Oh and heart on his sign too.

Adam

He was a treasure and I asked him the same question because hey maybe I finally got the hang of this shit, so they all were having a great time.

Rich

and then, of course, he messed with me. He was so excited and hyperactive he almost made a babbling mess out of me, ALMOST. He asked me from where I was and I said, I’m Italian, and what does this asshole do?, lol tries to speak Italian.

Rich: *in bad Italian*  customization? 

me: ???????

Rich to his handler: how do you say that?

me and his handler trying to spell the word: PERSONALIZZAZIONE. Hilarious. Well, he got the hang of it fairly quickly and gave me back the card, unsigned I was like...?????? 

Rich: you give me that back and ask me.

me: OH  *probably blushing like an idiot* 

Rich: Hello!

me: HI! *hands the card* to Giulia, please?

Rich: Sure love!

me: *giggles like a schoolgirl* thank you! 

Rich: no thank you for the practice!

me: you are welcome 

I got in line for Jared’s but he was running late and I had his photo Op next, so I got out to get in line for that because it was the last solo one. I thought yeah alright I already broke the ice with Jensen, how worse can this be?

let me tell ya....that bitch that said that right there? LOL, SHE’S AN IDIOT. DON’T LISTEN TO HER...EVER.

Found some girls from my hometown too, lol the world sure is small, we fangirled shamelessly, but I got the feeling one of them was not a Misha fan at all and ...lol nope ok, but they were nice either way.  

Jared OP: how is it?

Again let me tell ya, not fucking ready. I get into the room and Jesus Fucking Christ he looks MAJESTIC, MAJESTIC I tell you. He had a dark blue jacket and a shirt with some flower or something on it, the beard was distracting. He looked in such a good mood, which I was glad, no beanie, which I was also glad ( love it but I wanted that mane free). Anyway, do I need to tell you he’s tall? yeah well, he’s taller than tall. I walked up to him, smiling. AND FUCK THAT WAS A RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. He had some light behind him that shining through his hair made him look like an actual Jesus with a halo, and y’ all I’ve been blessed. His eyes looked so bright, and this strange combination of almost green-hazel created by the lights on his face. and y’ all his beard was so thick and luscious...YES 

me: Hi!

Jared: Hi Sweetie

Me internally  NO NOOOOOO.

Me: Is just a hug alright?

Jared: Absolutely, come here ( or bring it, I’m not sure I was still mentally screaming)

Anyway, the moment he saw me he crunched down, and he crunched down so low that I almost got offended LOL, but I mean I needed to be in the frame right? His hugs are BONE CRUSHING, he hugs you so tight and squeezes too, it almost hurt, felt his bearded chin on my head too, it was amazing.

We both pulled away slowly and as I said “Thank you sooo much “  he slid his hand down my arm and squeezed it, again, almost hurting me, and said “thank you” with the sweetest smile.

Then we saw the last panels, Misha’s and after Jared’s that closed the day.

Nat and I went on a food and alcohol mission to the Spanish steps and then threw our coins in the Trevi fountains so we can get back next year too. Got to chat more, got roasted about my late car and my new one, like.... thanks Nat, love ya too. Took a taxi back because lol Italian transports ...are AmAziNG, and then shower and crashed the bed at like 1 am?

3RD DAY, 19th May

...Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy...

got my pass and I’m out the door, I’m gonna hit the JiBcon.

Before I leave, pack my suitcase and all of my shit

‘cause when I leave for the Hilton I ain’t coming back.

Reaching Nat again and she’s freaking out about the Jensen M&G, which I’m like...LOL CAN’T RELATE.

First Panel is Jared’s and he’s gracious and funny as always, but also he said that for him it was 2am and jet lag was starting to hit hard. Nat went to take her Op and she wrote to me that Misha was wearing a leather jacket and a Kiss t-shirt and LISTEN CAN HE NOT? Anyway, Jared’s panel ended and I made my way to take Misha’op and, oh boi the line started right where he was gonna walk by to get to the room and I was first row. So he passed by and , like the dumb fangirl I am I stick out my hand, and YA WE HELD HANDS FOR A HOT SECOND and it was great, 10/10 would do again. ( Nat roasted my ass again ).

I was in line and I noticed that I would lose Alex and Matt’s autos, but I couldn’t get out Misha’s op because the other one was at the same time as Jared autos, which I couldn’t lose because the next one was during the Cockles’ panel and I’m not losing that shit. 

Misha’s OP: How is it?

Ok, I could write you papers about how damn pretty Misha is. I’m almost sad that photos don’t really make him justice, I guess machines can’t handle all that beauty. And although he looked like a snac, he also seemed tired, so I was already like....aw shit. I get into the photo space and he looks like he’s in a good mood anyway, and I can’t stop staring and smiling like an idiot as he takes all the photos, I mean I was standing where he had to look for the picture but it also looked like he was looking at me ( shut up, let me dream), anyway eye contact again, it was magical. Until it was my turn.

I walked up to him and .....LOL.

I didn’t know where to focus. He’s massive, I didn’t know where his fucking chest stopped and his face is also big and wide and those eyes that pierce through you? well, I was lucky that I managed to babble something. 

Now, this is where it gets a little ... well, you’ll see.

Misha: Hello!

me: Hi Misha! ( probably in a tiny squeaky voice, because ...Misha) Is a hug alright? ( I went with the same formula because I know it’s alright, but asking if it is,  seems like the polite thing to do, like asking for consent)

Misha: Yep

and then he wrapped me and I’m like, this is great, he smells so good, like spicy and very manly but also fresh, so it was not overwhelming. Then, again leaning back to thank him and he nodded, winked and all his face scrunched and again that cute crooked smile. So I was like, ok he looked tired but he seemed still in a good mood. But then I got hand on my photo and ...I mean, not gonna lie I was a bit bummed out because he’s not really smiling. So I was giving myself a headache thinking if I did or said something wrong, and I know I didn’t but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I didn't look at the photo for some time until I let Nat see it. And yeah, while he may not be smiling that much, he still looked soft, we both came to the conclusion, also because we saw more pics of the same session, he wasn’t hardcore smiling the whole time. Then we saw more of the Jensen’s photo of this last day and he too isn’t smiling in all of them, I mean, they all looked so tired. 

To joke about it , just to make me feel a bit better and less bitter ( because I have no reason to be, they tired and they are entitled to be tired, I’m just thankful that they were there), I said that I thought I was getting a Misha OP and instead I got a Castiel’s one, like: why is Castiel here? Did another French Mistake happen? which....yeah fair.

The last thing I needed to get was Jared’s auto. So I went to get in line really early because I had nothing else to do and the room was FREEZING, I suspected because of Jared, which I get it, I prefer to be cold than hot and sweaty since I’m like him a sweat a lot with minimum effort. 

Again they let us in before Jared arrived so we were all standing in line when he walked in. And AGAIN, walked right beside me, and I saw people respecting boundaries and staying put in their spot, but some just raised their hands and Jared gladly high-fived people who wanted, so who am I to deny that to myself?. So I shoved my shyness aside and timidly raised my hand too. But lol I’m short af so he had to bend a bit for me so I would not step forward ( bodyguards were strict as they should )  and we smacked hands with a really nice “CLAP”. It was amazing, and yes he smiled again, Jared was in a really good mood all con and I’m glad he was having a good time ( at least that’s the impression I had). Jared wore a dark green plaid shirt and a black t-shirt, black jeans and black beanie and he looked the softest boi ever.

Jared

Anyway, my turn to get my auto and I went in slow because I wanted to at least say a few words, and I did.

Jared: Hi!

me: Hi Jared! How are you?

Jared: I’m awesome, thank you, and how are you?

me: I’m great. Thank you for everything.

Jared with his sweet puppy eyes, and beanie, and a soft sweet warm smile just stared at me for a quick second and mouthed the sweetest “thank you”, lightly touching his chest. I smiled and nodded and went on my merry way outside the room, AND THEN I DIED.

So at this point, I had finished, I waited for Nat while watching in awe my autos collection 

Before the last panels, I managed to get lots of glimpses of everyone again. Jensen as he got out the m&g room, and then all of the cast as they walked out to get the group picture with the Jib10 people. Then it was time for the panels. Jason played and sang for us as we waited for Jared and Misha panel, and I mean...Boy’s got a real fucking nice voice live, I recorded two songs, Stand by Me and Perfect Spot. 

And then the panel started.

GOD THIS PANEL. I had tears from laughing. Misha run out the room, Jared followed him, and the bodyguards running after them panicking. I CAN’T. And then Misha did some accents and I died again ( drink every time I wrote I died). Jared was on FIRE.

OH, before I forget, I laugh like Jensen, the leaning back laugh. Yeah I do, it’s great, never noticed like that before, I mean I’m Italian so I move a lot when I talk, it makes sense that when I burst into a laugh, I laugh with my whole body, so now y’ all know.

Matt and Alex's panel was also really nice. I finally got to see some Alex! He’s so cute, he’s a treasure, I love him so much and ...he’s so different from Jack like you can’t confuse them AT ALL. I wish him the best. ( Also he said that Lord Tyrion will surpass him in popularity and I agree ).

Then the long wait for the Cockles panel. Nervewracking becasue Nat needed to go take her flight and I was wishing she could at least get a glimpse of them before leaving. Well, we all know how that panel went anyway.

I got out for a couple of minutes to say goodbye with Nat and I wanted to cry becasue she’s the sweetest and I love her and she deserves the best. We didn’t say goodbye but a “see you”, that’s what we hope. 

and ...that’s all folks!

If you have questions, maybe I missed something, ASK AWAY.

for now, this is the post, maybe I’ll edit it when more things came to mind.

[closetspngirl]

Love Heals the Soul (Part 31) - Birthday Cake

Summary: Jensen’s Birthday...amongst other things

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 1760

Warnings: All the fluff, implied smut, and then a little minor swearing, and some angsty bits sprinkled in, talk of an accident

A/N:  Couldn’t help myself with this chapter gif. lol Feedback is always welcome! Italicized are lyrics, POV thoughts or text conversations; you can tell by the context

You had taken Jensen’s suggestion of going to see a therapist with the hopes that it might curb the nightmares, having been going once or twice a week for the last couple of months. It was helping, you hadn’t had any of the really bad ones for a while, leaving you with the minor ones to deal with.

You couldn’t get in to see the doctor for your hand until the middle of March, having already called twice to try and move up your appointment. You were still scared as hell at the thought of dealing with it; managing to put all of that aside though when it came to Jensen’s birthday.

There was no way you could make him a cake or anything at the apartment and keep it a secret for his birthday. You were still spending a couple of days a week at the café, making sure things were running ok, orders were getting placed and inventory was getting done. You weren’t the owner, and technically didn’t have to do all of that, but you liked helping out, feeling like you had a purpose. Because if you were being honest with yourself, you were feeling like you didn’t know how much longer you’d be able to help.

It was a smaller cake, nothing crazy, able to feed a few dozen people. You had talked to Bob one of the days that you had visited the set, asking if they were going to be ordering in cakes for the cast and crew. He told you they were, so you the two of you decided to hold off for a couple days and surprise him.

At the café the next day you were trying to decide what flavor to do for him. He is a fan of chocolate, that’s always a classic, why not? After a few minutes deciding on chocolate cake with a dark chocolate mousse filling covered in chocolate ganache. I mean if we’re going to do chocolate, might as well go all out right? Make the last one special?

A couple days later, the day before you were to take it to set, you had decorated it with chocolate garnishes and writing. It really was one of your favorite cakes that you had done, despite how your arms were feeling. Anything for him. You couldn’t wait to get on set and give this to him, especially with what you had planned out.

Jensen’s POV

My birthday was three days ago, and nothing had happened, save for a few well wishes from a couple people. Not that I ever asked for any of the crew to do anything, but they always do something special for birthdays, so it was a little weird when nothing came up. Especially after doing this for thirteen years. I put it to the back of my mind since Misha, Jared and I were getting ready to film another scene in the bunker.

We took our marks, starting in the kitchen, and set up for the scene. Bob had given us some loose instruction on being able to adlib a few lines, just to see where it went. He knew how the three of us worked, and knew that we would get the take we wanted; even if it took a couple tries.

Dean: Any idea on what we’re dealing with? grabs beer from fridge

Sam: Not a clue. I’m sure the archives would have something. shrugs There could even be something in the library?

Dean: Don’t you have the library catalogue memorized by now?

Sam: classic Sam bitch face look to Dean

Cas: He’s not wrong, Dean. It’s worth a shot. Then if we can’t find anything, we can go down to the archives.

Dean: sighs Fine.

Walks to library

Dean: Where do…what the hell? Realizes adlib Why is it pitch black in here?

Sam: …Maybe we forgot to pay the electric bill?

Cas: You don’t pay for electricity…

Sam: clasps hand on Cas’s shoulder Never mind buddy.

Dean: Are there even light switches in this room? I’ve honestly never noticed…

Suddenly the lights turn on and Y/N is sitting on the table, legs crossed with a cake sitting next to her.

“Happy Birthday, Jensen!”

I couldn’t even begin to tell anyone how happy I was at the surprise, I was just happy to have her in my arms, walking quickly to her and sweeping her up in a hug. “Wow! How did you manage this?” She just laughed. God that laugh, I’ll never get enough of it.

“Bob helped me out with this one. Hope you don’t mind it’s a couple days late.”

I pulled her into another hug, “Not at all. Thank you so much baby. This is great, I love it.”

Bob had since called cut, while other crew-members were bringing out a table with a couple other sheet cakes on it along with some plates and forks.

After a round of Happy Birthday was sung, I blew out the candles on the cake they had brought out for everyone. I couldn’t wait though to cut into the cake that Y/N had made, I loved everything that she baked. Everyone on set, which was a lot of people, got a piece of either cake, and everyone who had a bite of Y/N’s cake was commenting on how amazing it was, saying that they’d have to call her for when they needed one. She thanked everyone who talked to her, but I could tell something was bothering her, but I didn’t bring it up; it could wait until later. I wanted the both of us to enjoy this time.

Bob was nice enough to give us all an hour or so to eat cake and talk. When it was time to go, I pulled Y/N aside in one of the coves of bookshelves to say bye to her.

“Thanks again for this. That was really sweet of you, in every sense of the word.” I couldn’t help to laugh at the pun I let slip.

“Anytime baby,” she said with a smile.

“I’m not sure what time I’ll be home tonight, but I’m out early tomorrow, so we can go out for that birthday dinner I’ve kept postponing,” I told her, giving her a kiss on her forehead. “Perfect, I’ll make a reservation when I get home later.”

I took her hands in mine, running my thumbs over her wrists unsure of how my next question would go over, but I had to ask to quiet the voice in my head. “I hope that cake wasn’t too much trouble for you, you know you didn’t have to do all that for me. You surprising me would have been more than enough.” I knew she got the meaning under what I was asking, I also noticed she hesitated before answering me.

She looked up and smiled, “No trouble at all.” I’ll have to bookmark that topic for a later date as well. Her demeanor seemed to change in the next second, as if trying to forget the last ten seconds of the conversation.

“See you later birthday boy, you’ve got one more surprise waiting at home,” she told me as she walked away with a wink.

Well how the hell am I supposed to finish shooting today with that going through my head?

---

Despite the fact that we finished late last night, I had to be on set by seven this morning. I always hated days like these, especially since Y/N wasn’t at the café as much anymore to make my morning coffee. Because of that, I made it a point to have a few minutes with her before leaving, even on the early mornings when she despised waking up before the crack of dawn with me. It gave us a chance to talk though and just be together, as if living and sleeping together wasn’t enough, it’s still something we both enjoyed.

I ran my finger up and down her nose, waking her gently. For some reason I loved waking her like this, I had no idea why, maybe it was because it was cute to watch her come to and flutter those beautiful eyes open at me. This morning though she whined at me, knowing it was too early for any sane human to be awake. “Why,” she asked, drawing out the word like a five year old. “Are you whining Y/L/N?”I asked her, using her own line on her. Even that glare is freaking adorable.

I knew she wasn’t seriously upset with me; she enjoyed this just as much as I did. After stretching and sitting up with me, we talked about what we had planned for our days. Mine was mostly what scenes we were going to be shooting, while she had mentioned that she needed to run a few errands and do a couple chores.

“Well I’ll be done around three, home by four, then it’s our night. Dinner…drinks…maybe another present to unwrap…” That got her giggling. “We’ll see Ackles, as long as you’re good,” she teased. “Oh you know I’m good.” Two can play that game.

---

Briana and Kim were back on set today, we only had a few scenes to shoot, a couple things down by the boat yard. We were in the middle of a scene, all of us coming back from the Bad Place, when Bob yelled cut.

“Uh, is everything ok? I thought that was a good take, do we need-“

“Jensen, come here please.” Well shit. I heard Briana answering her phone and a commotion going on behind me as I walked over to Bob.

“Jense, we just got a call because they couldn’t reach you, Y/N-“ Briana was over, cutting of Bob, barely getting out the words that she had to go, looking frantically at me.

“Guys, what the hell is going on?” I demanded.

“Jensen, Y/N is in the hospital, she was in a car accident…” Briana told me.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, not needing to see who it was to know it was Jared, or to know exactly what he was trying to do; help me stay grounded and in the present and not lose myself.

“I need to go. Dammit...Bob, I’m sorry, I need to go. Can you finish without Bri and I? I’ll text and keep you guys updated,” already jogging away before waiting for an answer.

“Go, we’ll figure it out,” he told me.

Bless that man. Some days I wondered why he was so good to me.

Tags: @maralisa124 @somilotopia @delightfullykrispypeach @steffiemeheus @lizwinchester16 @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @mystrie @supernatural-lover-teamfreewill @cats-are-untrustworthy @superromijn @gifsforgomez @sherlock44 @life-through-the-lenss @1233088 @fandomloveyeah @allonsy-yesiwill @amomentintime @headingforthe-target-of-insanity @justforsavingfics @ocean-waves-that-misbehave @justfloatingthroughtime @hobby27 @musiclovinchic93  @im-super-un-natural  @miserys-company23  @stellaa33  @greyeyedsmile14  @deanlovespiebabyandmeloljkiwish  @winchester-top-the1975  @siriuslyimmortal  @zahiaouzidane @hopefulcolorcollectorsthings @perpetualabsurdity @justanotheraccount12345678910 @effulgenttales @imaginationisgrowth

[wormstacheangel]

What are the best episodes with Castiel to watch?

Hello! Sorry, this took me a while to answer but here you go! If I miss some it’s cause I don’t remember anything or I was just Bleh about it.

Castiel Epiosdes

4x01 ICONIC 

4x16 ICONIC

4x20 Jimmy is important to Cas and I love him. 

4x22 ICONIC Greenroom. Cas picks a side aka Dean.

5x03 Cas and Dean being friends! Gay panic is real my friends. 

5x04 THE END. “It's the end, baby. “

5x13 “Sam is my friend.” 

5x14 Cupid (He made a cameo video it was cute) and Cas eating raw meat off the floor.

5x16 “You son of a bitch! I believed in-” OWW

5x17 Drunk Cas.

5x18 At this point he’s just done with everything. So he just carves, YES CARVES, an angel banishing sigil into his own chest. He does not hesitate.

Season 6 is good for Cas because the whole time he’s apart of a civil war and is just a terrible liar.

6x06 I am trying not to make this list about Destiel but the scene where Cas pours Dean’s drink. 

6x10 Pizza Man.

6x19 Baby in a trenchcoat aka leader of the heaven rebellion but sure Dean. He’s just cute. 

6x20 ICONIC 

6x21& 22 Both show that Cas is slowly realizing that he is not in control. 

7x01 The whole episode is wild but Cas just going to heaven and saying I’m Daddy now really takes the cake. (not the actual words he used.)

7x02 Cas’s death #3?

7x17 MISHA -- OH um, I mean CAS to the rescue lol

7x21 His cute little laugh! Honey!Cas has my heart and soul. Bonus Destiel: “ When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!” RIP Hester Queen

7x23 “Cursed or not.” Also his little smile when he asks for the plan ahh!

aka all episodes in s7 with Cas in it is worth watching.

Okay, I’ll try to control myself now but watch all of s8 cause its beautiful.

8x02 We see Dean’s POV to the purgatory portal scene. Also, hear Cas’s reason for leaving Dean.

8x07 We see Cas’s POV of the purgatory pov scene. Also, learn how Cas escapes purgatory. 

8x08 “I’m gonna be a hunter.” He’s so CUTE!

8x10 Cas needs a hug. Please.

8x17 ICONIC. “what broke the connection?” AHH

8x21 Badass Castiel

8x22 & 23 Castiel wants to do good. He wants to help but he just puts his trust in the wrong people. It hurts me so much. Look he’s just a small child and he is dealing with a lot right now. 

Season 9 Cas looks good. Like fanservice time father of two!

9x01 First look at human Cas!

9x03 I can’t watch this ending again. It’ll make me spiral. But it’s a good human Cas and destiel episode. Also, fuck April. She gross. 

9x06 ICONIC BLESSED jilted lover. 

9x09 He looks good.

9x10 “I prefer the word trusting. Less dumb. Less ass.” They are both dumbasses.

9x11 Sam & Cas chaotic vibes

9x14 Cas storyline with the angels starts or at least makes it more clear idk

9x18 Gabriel! Also, “Damn it, Dean!” and Cas accepts his role as a leader. The angels are dumb. 

9x22 Sam & Cas dream team lol Also, Cas picks Dean over heaven again.

9x23  “--and for what again? Oh, that's right -- to save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right? Well, guess what. He's dead, too.”

10x01 Cas draped across the bed like a victorian lady waiting for her husband to come back from the war

10x03 You know that scene where he’s lying on the floor bloody and dying and the Crowley saves him. And then Cas glows and heals with grace and he’s glaring up at Crowley? You know that scene. Yeah. Bonus: I’m gay and bloody Hannah is also hot. Small tip: Ignore the creepy/gross Hannah and Cas set up the writers are trying to do. They are siblings. 

10x09 Claire! That’s his daughter!

10x10 Claire and Cas make me cry.

10x14 Deleted scene of “Maybe he’s your boyfriend.” 

10x17 Sam & Cas! They are best friends, you guys!

10x18 Charlie and Cas meet! AND THEY ARE ALL HAPPY AND I CRY

10x20 Claire! Cas get’s her a birthday present, grumpy cat stuffy, and she keeps it! And I cry. And she saves him. And she cares about him. 

okay 10x21 cause of Charlie and Cas but also fuck this episode. Charlie deserved better. 

10x22 ICONIC gosh damn it. I-

10x23 Just for backstory for Cas in s11. Our poor boy can't catch a break. 

I worked on this for two hours now Nonny and I don’t even care. I miss Cas.

Season 11 hurts my damn soul because of Cas. I won’t include Casifer, though it was A LOT of fun to watch him.

11x01 “Dean, did it work?” I wanna hold this poor sad madly in love man. 

11x02 I can’t handle the torture. He looks so sad.

11x03 Bless you director, Jensen Ross Ackles.

11x04 Okay, not a lot of Cas but I love this episode. 

11x06 They don’t talk about his trauma but they show us a little when he tries to leave the bunker. And I cried. Once again. Let. Me. Hold. Him. 

11x10 Ambriel glad you are dead cause you were SO rude. Also, Amara girly, queen, I love you but apologize. Stop being mean to Castiel.

11x22 Cas get’s to talk and that’s nice

11x23 “I can go with you.” Sir, you just came back from being possessed by THEE satan and now you are ready to die by your future husband's side. You need therapy. 

Okay, I stopped watching live after season 11 because of the way they treated Cas so these next seasons I binged watched ( a couple of times) but wasn’t apart of the fandom so it feels like I didn’t fully grasp them. But here we go!

12x01 Cas meets his mother-in-law. Also the little, “Dean!” when he hugs him. 

12x02 Cas and Mick :)

12x03 Agent Beyonce and Zee lol Cas and Crowley and should have had a sitcom 

12x08 Cas gets a text (angel radio) that he’s gonna be a Dad and it looks like when Alice had a vision of the Volturi in Breaking Dawn Part 2 lol

12x09 Let me hug Cas! He’s sad over his family being gone. Also, Mary, I love you but I don’t forgive anybody for being mean to Cas. All the Winchesters are on thin fucking ice with me. 

12x10 ICONIC destiel. Cas in a female vessel. 

12x12 ICONIC “I love you. I love all of you.” 

12x19 Worried husband Dean. Excited soon-to-be father Cas.

12x23 Cas dies (again) from child birth.

Watch the first few episodes of season 13 for the famous widower arc cause wtf they gave us THAT. Also, I don’t care for the other world storyline so I pushed that out of my head. 

13x04 Cas annoying a cosmic entity. Fun fact! I dislike the trenchcoat cause it looked so stiff and the color was off idk didn’t look great but Cas looked beautiful when he looks up at the sun! Ah!

13x05 IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN

13x06 ICONIC BROKEBACKNATURAL Also, Jack and Cas meet and I cried damn it. “I missed you.” That’s his son!

13x07 Cas doesn’t put anybody or anything above his baby boy

13x12 Cas has the dumbest husband but at least Cas stabs lucifer. Bet Misha felt good

13x14 Badass Cas. He’s a top. lol 

13x16 ICONIC Cas looks...great. Like, watch it. I would do anything for cartoon!cas

13x19Just cause Cas faced someone who tortured him and it’s made to seem like he should get over it and it pisses me off. But Naomi is so cool so idk I like her but would fight her

13x22 Otherworld Cas is there and Cas just kills himself. He needs therapy. 

13x23 Cas’s face when Dean says yes. Also, family hunting trip yay

14x01 Dadstiel! Also, Cas looks good. 

14x03 Dadstiel.

14x07 Dadstiel. “Losing a son feels different.” And I cry. 

14x08 “because I love you Jack. And Sam and Dean--they love you.” THEY DO LOVE HIM AHHHH! Also, Empty deal is made as an excuse for the writers to do something with Cas later. 

I just realized season 14 is just Cas trying desperately to keep his family together. He’s trying to take care of them and he has the right words to say to everyone but not much happens besides him wanting to be a family man. 

14x14 gay on gay violence lol Also another family hunting trip! 

14x15 Fav episode! I just love Sam & Cas’s dumb chaotic energy in this ahaha! They are best friends damn it!

14x18 Cas is trying desperately to keep his family together and he feels responsible for Mary

14x19 Cas should have been allowed to kick Sam and Dean’s dumb flat asses for locking his baby boy in a box. 

14x20 AHHH

Divorce arc! All of s15 is great! Except you know...19&20 but we ignore that in this house. 

15x03 ICONIC but I will never watch it again

15x06 dude, they really be broken up. Cas kicks ass by himself and he’s fishing and he’s so cute. 

15x09 ICONIC Let him talk, Castiel!

15x11 Cas is THEE best Dad and let’s Jack eat hearts

15x13 Just for the family.

15x15 :(

15x17 Cas working to keep his baby boy

15x18 :( I mean at least he’s out but :(

Okay, this took me all day and I had fun! Nobody is gonna read it but who cares cause I just spent my day thinking of Cas when I had a pretty shit day so thanks, Nonnie! 

[wordstrings]

I’m late replying to feedback, woo! [fic link: The Reverse French Mistake]

—

Anonymous said:

Oh my god. Oh my god I loved the reverse French mistake so much it is SO FUNNY ASDFGHJKL!! You are so good at writing, holy crap, the text from G at the end was the icing on the cake. I’d love to see more, like a sequel or something?

Ahh, thanks! I have no plans to continue it, since it would probably just be lots and lots of confusion and fear, lol. But it was fun to write!

—

@ticklishraspberries said:

i’m not even into spn anymore but every single you write is SO GOOD like please write a novel

This makes me so happy! I definitely don’t have the patience for much more than a few thousand words at a time, but thank you for expressing such confidence in me. 😊

—

Anonymous said:

Re: The Reverse French Mistake, I have a very important question. Is Cassie stuck in the real world? (Without his grace so Jared and Jenson insist Misha’s fooling them 😊). Does Misha have grace?

Oh man, good questions. Misha definitely doesn’t have grace, but it’s anybody’s guess where Cas actually went. Can you imagine the complete bewilderment if that’s where he is? Though I think he’d enjoy getting to see his friends‘ faces so relaxed and laughing so often. :)

—

@hypahticklish @divergent-dragon @ticklenickle @lizzyfish225 @bitch-jerk-assbutt-idjit-fan @mythdragon10 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[sassyreads]

85 QUESTIONS TAG

I’m getting tagged a lot by you Vera XD but I love it so thanks <3 @aelingalathynius-fireheart

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people or you know just a couple

— What was your last…

1. Drink: 7UP

2. Phone call: I was actually trying to call the radio and trying to win a Samsung s9 lol

3. Text message: my sister

4. Song you listened to: Dusk till dawn on the radio (a lot of songs I love are played on repeat on the radio and I’m getting sick of them)

5. Time you cried: last week at school, my dog just died

6. Dated someone twice: I haven't even had a first date foreveralone

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no (guys let me just say I’ve never even kissed)

8. Been cheated on: since that’s not possible the answer is a solid no XD

9. Lost someone special: my dog :(

10. Been depressed: not really; I mean I have moments where I just feel down but not depressed

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

— Fave colours

12. Purple

13. Black

14. Navy blue

— in the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: YES (mostly Tumblr friends but that counts right?!)

16. Fallen out of love: never really been in love so no

17. Laughed until you cried: I don't think so? 

18. Found out someone was talking about you: I have had moments where I thought someone’s talking about me, but I was never sure

19. Met someone who changed you: no, but I'm waiting for you

20. Found out who your friends are: ??? As in something dramatic happened in my life and people abandoned me and I found out who my real friends were? weird questions, I’m going with no

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: what no XD

— General

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: when I had Facebook all of them 

23. Do you have any pets: NOT ANYMORE OKAY?! *cries*

24. Do you want to change your name: I mean do I want to be named Aelin or Feyre? Sure, but otherwise no XD

25. What did you do for your last birthday: can’t remember... probably just with family

26. What time did you wake up today: maybe at 11.45

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: listening to the podcast of @kbmritchie (YOU GUYS READ THEIR BOOKS THEY’RE AMAZING)

28. What is something you can’t wait for: tog7 definitely

30. What are you listening to right now: the radio, it’s a Spanish/English song? something with culpa and solamente, don’t know what it’s called XD

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: sure lots of em

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: waiting a year for the next book

33. Most visited website: I have no life so tumblr

34. Hair colour: dark brown

35. Long or short hair: long

36. Do you have a crush on someone: I have a lot of crushes right now, I’m so overwhelmed @villainsreadtoo Alice you gotta help me with this XD (I have a hard time accepting that I have a crush and don’t want to admit it, but the Internet can keep a secret right)

37. What do you like about yourself:  my lips

38. Want any piercings: nope

39. Blood type: SERiously? no idea 

40. Nicknames: Sas (almost everyone call me this), sassie (my little sister calls me this)

41. Relationship status: single and never ready to mingle

42. Sign: gemini (but I promise I'm not a two-faced bitch)

43. Pronouns: she/her

44. Fave tv show: Supernatural and Brooklyn 99

45. Tattoos: no, but I really want a few

46. Right or left handed: left

47: Ever had surgery: yeah when I was little they removed my tonsils

48. Piercings: don’t have any

49. Sport: being lazy is a sport I excel at

50. Vacation: I really want to see Australia and Scotland 

51. Trainers: ?? please someone explain these questions to me before I make a fool of myself (oh wait)

— More general

52. Eating: pancakes

53. Drinking: bitter lemon

54. I’m about to watch: nothing, I have exams coming up

55. Waiting for: the movies, I'm going to see game night with my sister tonight

56. Want: the ‘wolf scout’ t-shirt of the like us series so bad (but I gotta wait till my next pay check)

57. Get married: definitely

58. Career: I'm secretly hoping I have amazing writing skills, and otherwise an editor or a job in a publishing house

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: haven’t experienced any kissed but they sound amazing

60. Lips or eyes: EYES!

61. Shorter or taller: taller

62. Older or younger: older

63. Nice arms or stomach: ummm arms duh!

64. Hookup or relationships: Relationships

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant (it’s my greatest flaw)

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: nooo

67. Drank hard liquor: never, probably never will

68.Turned someone down: nope

69. Sex on first date: no

70: Broken someone’s heart: I really hope not

71. Had your heart broken: many times, cause of death: fictional characters

72. Been arrested: no XD

73. Cried when someone died: yes again my dog (never experienced another death)

74. Fallen for a friend: no

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: the ‘you can do it girl’ then yes

76. Miracles: absolutely

77. Love at first sight: I like to believe in it but I think it really is lust at first sight

78. Santa Claus: sadly I found out he’s not real so no

79. Angels: yup

— Misc

80. Eye colour: brown

81. Best friends name: Shiewanie aka someone who never uses her Tumblr @xwaantje and my sister Shila

82. Favourite movie: BLACK PANTHER FOREVER BABY

83. Favourite actor: Oh man why you gotta ask me this XD I'm gonna go with Misha Collins

84. Favourite cartoon: avatar

85. Favourite teacher’s name: all teacher suck! I’m kidding I don't have a favourite

I’m tagging: @villainsreadtoo (you saw that one coming XD) @rayonfrozenwings and others who want to do this (I’m sorry but in my experience everyone I tag doesn’t end up doing it, so I'm giving up)

[assbuttyourlife]

When We Were Young - Chapter One

Pairing : Misha/OFC

Warnings : trauma, PTSD, family members’ death (including child), therapy, flashbacks (not in every chapter), cheating. Long fic. Angst, fluff and smut will come later in the story.

Words : 2698

Summary : After her grandmother's funeral, Lily must return to the place she lived in when she was young and has to confront the ghosts of her past. She will run into an old friend that she thought was lost forever.

Note : I was deeply touched after watching a video of Misha tearing up telling us the story of his childhood. I started daydreaming about it, and I couldn't get it out of my head, so I decided to write it down. Even if it's based on Misha's real story and what he kindly chose to share with us, I do not know him personally (or any of the real characters mentioned in this story), and a lot of my work is just out of my weird and twisted imagination.

Though Misha won't appear in the first three chapters, he is mentioned in every single one of them. I needed the back story to be settled before throwing him in Lily's life.

Please keep in mind this is my first fic ever, and english is not my native language, but I had the incredible luck to find the most patient beta ever to help me for the first chapters: @dixseptdixhuit.

No hate towards Vicki or any member of Misha's family here, I truly respect Misha's personal life and I just didn't want to pretend he wasn't married in this story.

Also, I will post the first four chapters today because I’ve already posted them before but I only linked to AO3 and I thought this way would be better. (And I will try to make a masterlist because it will be very long)

Oh, and I will love you forever if you give me some feedback. (good or bad, but if it’s bad it has to be constructive so I can improve lol)

CHAPTER 1 - Family

“Ugh, that smell!” Lily exclaimed, unable to suppress her gag reflex. That was a stupid idea really. Here they were, at 11pm, burning stuff on a beach in Seattle in order to move on after a horrible break up... like silly teenagers! She was thirty-eight, for God's sake!

“You okay, sweetie?” Katie asked, suddenly worried, gently laying a hand on Lily's shoulder. She had weird and silly ideas sometimes, but she was Lily's best friend and she deeply loved that woman. She had known her for a very long time. They had met when Lily was seventeen and Katie was fifteen, back when she started her new life in France, when everything in her life was chaos, and she owed her a lot. So much! They never left each other again and when Lily had the opportunity to go back in the US, it was just obvious to bring Katie with her. They just couldn't live apart from each other.  Katie had been here when Lily was completely lost and she was very grateful for that.

“Yeah, I just hate that smell with all of my guts.”

“What smell? Fire? I like it.”

“Yeah. You know perfectly why I hate it. And what are we anyway? Twelve?”

“Oh come on, Lily! You found that bastard in bed with one of your coworkers! In YOUR bed, right after your grandmother's funeral! Really that's the least you could do, he's just lucky I don't burn him alive for what he did to you.”

“Don't say that...”

“Sorry... I didn't mean to... I just mean – ”

“Whatever.” Lily interrupted.  “Let's get this over with and go home. I'm tired and I have a fucking long day waiting for me tomorrow. If I have to deal with her stupid face at work, I need at least to be as pretty as I can for her to be super jealous and hate me as much as I hate her, which means I need my beauty rest.”

“Yes... because you're old now so beauty rest is not an option anymore, right?” Katie said with a huge grin on her face.

She actually made Lily laugh with her comment.

“You're over thirty too, moron, I can see your wrinkles even from here! That means you need it too! Let's go.”

“Alright grandma, let's roll!” Katie answered playfully, dancing on the beach, happy to go back home after such an awful day.

____________

When they arrived at their place in Seattle, it was already late. They both lived in the same apartment complex near the ocean, but not on the same floor. Lily's apartment was on the second floor and Katie lived right up on the third floor.

“Goodnight Kat. And thank you for everything.” Lily hugged her friend tight.

“You're welcome, Lily. We'll laugh about it in a while, you'll see.”

“Sure. Try not to be late tomorrow.” Lily winked at her best friend before entering her apartment and closing the door behind her. Katie was always late and she always had an excuse. It became a game to mock her about it and she had to admit the more she tried to find a good excuse, the more Lily enjoyed teasing her.

“You know me!” she heard Katie scream through the door. God, Katie, the neighbors!

Lily turned on the light, threw her keys on the kitchen counter and went straight to the bathroom. She needed a shower before going to bed. Mostly to get rid of the horrible smell of fire that was still laying on her clothes, almost penetrating her skin.

As she stood under the warm spray of water, trying to relax, she sighed deeply and thought about her day. What a day... Her grandmother died last week; she was everything to her, literally the last member of her family, and now she was gone for good. Lily realized she was now truly alone, and she felt empty, sad and lost. She had not felt like that for a long time but there she was, crying in her shower, thinking about her family.

She was lucky to have friends to help her feel better, and she used to have a boyfriend too... but that was gone too. God, that jerk! Who does that? Cheating on her was already terrible, but she had to find out today?? She threw those thoughts away for now, she had to focus on something else, she would have time to move on with her love life later.

So yes, she had very dear friends, like Katie, and some nice coworkers too (except that bitch!), but it wasn't the same, they were not family. They were not home...

Home... as she finally laid in her bed, she thought about that word. Home.

Next week, she would have to go back where she grew up, where she had her most precious memories, the happiest part of her life, but also the scariest and the saddest when it ended.

Home. She used to try so hard to forget and not think about it anymore. But after her grandma died, she couldn't think about something else, it was like losing it all over again, and as she was trying to fall asleep, she was still thinking about it. Home... She had a home, she had a family, she was loved, she was happy, and it had ended brutally.

********************************

August 1990. Nice – France.

“Elise Hagen?”

She stood up slowly and walked the few steps separating her from the woman who called her name.

Dr Dorville, psychiatrist, extended her hand, inviting her to come in her office. She entered the room and scanned it quickly. Yellowish walls, a huge wooden desk, two chairs, lots of books on shelves, a huge carpet on the floor, some plants and a few candles, a tissue box on the desk, a sofa near the window... Typical.

“Nice to meet you, Elise. I'm Dr Dorville. Please have a seat.” The doctor said with a nice smile.

“Thanks. I prefer Lily.”

“Alright Lily. Make yourself comfortable. Today I'm just going to ask you a few questions to know you better. You can relax.”

She sat, put her dark blond hair behind her ears, crossed her legs and swallowed deeply. She was so damn nervous. She didn't want to be here, in this office, in this country, on this freaking continent. Everything was different and she felt like an alien from another dimension. Lily noticed something strange right away though.

“You speak English?...” Lily asked shyly, almost ashamed.

“Yes.” Dr Dorville paused and looked at her, still smiling. “I know you're not from here and it must be hard for you to adapt when you don't even speak the language, so I thought I could at least make the effort. Don't mind my terrible accent though, I just can't help it. Plus I need you to be as honest and open as possible and I'm pretty sure you can't do that if you speak a foreign language and can't find your words, right?”

“Right.” Lily agreed. She at least could appreciate that this woman was trying to make her feel less weird and more comfortable. That was kind of a good start. Plus the french accent was kinda cute, to be honest.

“So, let's start easy.” The doctor sat behind her desk and checked her computer. “Your full name is Elise Grace Hagen, you're 16, born June 9th 1974 in Hartford, am I correct?” she asked nonchalantly.

“Yes.”

“How long have you been in Nice?”

“About a month.” Lily sighed. This was already super boring.

“Do you want to tell me about your family?” Dr Dorville asked cautiously.

“Do I have to? I'm pretty sure you already know everything you need to.”

“I know some indeed. I'd like to hear it from you though, if you don't mind.” She observed Lily silently until she spoke again.

“Fine.” Lily sighed and looked down at her hands, playing with her fingers. “I was living in a huge farm in Northfield with my mother and my little brother. My grandmother lived a few miles away in Litchfield. My father passed when I was ten in a car accident.” She spoke too fast and then stopped, still playing nervously with her fingers, not wanting to give too many details. She knew she would have to eventually, but it was her first session and she wasn't ready yet.

“What was your brother's name? How old was he?” The doctor asked, and Lily couldn't help noticing she used the past tense.

“Ryan... He was six,” was all Lily could answer.

“Any other relatives?”

“No. I don't have a big family. It was just us.”

“Would you say you felt lonely because you had a small family?”

Here we are... the how do you feel questions.

“No. We had a lot of friends.”

“So you had a great social life then?”

“Yes. My grandfather was a great man, he was respected because he did a lot of good around him, especially for the kids in our area, so everybody kinda knew us thanks to that, more or less.”

“Where is your grandfather now? You didn't mention him earlier.”

“He passed away a few years ago. He was older than my grandma.”

“I see. That's a lot of deaths for such a small family. I'm sorry to hear that, Lily.” Dr Dorville said honestly.

“Yeah... That was just the beginning though. But you know that already, am I wrong?” Lily started to be pissed: so many useless questions when she knew the doctor had her file right on her damn computer.

“Of course not. I have your file indeed, but you're here to talk about yourself, right? If you can't even talk about the basic facts about you and your family, I'm afraid it's gonna be a problem to talk about what happened recently. Don't worry, we'll get through that, but not today. I just need you to trust me, I'm here to help you. You know that, right?”

Lily could feel the lump in her throat, but she knew she had to move on and she couldn't do it alone.

“Yes.” She honestly answered.

“Good. So... You said you were living in a huge farm with your mother and your six year-old brother... That sounds like a lot to deal with for a single woman and two kids. How were you managing?”

“We could afford some help from local farmers, money was never a problem for us, and we often had people staying at our house.”

“People?”

“Yes, umm... My mom and my grandparents liked to help people in need and we had a big house, so they thought it was normal to help as much as we could.”

“That's very generous. Was there someone living with you when... when it happened?”

Lily noticed the hesitation in her voice, and she was actually glad she avoided that subject for now.

“There was a family, yes... A single mother and her two sons. My mom and her had become good friends a few years before, and when Mom heard they were in town but homeless, she wanted to help. So she offered them to stay with us.”

“Did you like these people too?”

“Yes. They are... They were very good people.” She swallowed the lump in her throat again.

“Then why won't you name them?”

“Why should I?”

“Because they were real people... Naming them is part of the process.”

That fucking past tense again!

Yes they were real people and now they're all gone so what's the point?

Dr Dorville was silent again, patiently waiting for Lily's answer, not pushing but looking her in the eyes with a sympathetic smile on her face.

“Rebecca, Sasha, and Misha.” Oh, the fucking load of guilt that just punched through her heart when she actually voiced their names!

“There.” The doctor smiled once more. “I know this is hard for you, but you're doing really great. How old were Sasha and Misha?”

Oh please, God, will this be over soon?

She fidgeted uncomfortably in her chair and sighed deeply again.

“Sasha was thirteen and Misha was sixteen.”

“Oh, so Misha was your age, did you go to school together?”

Lily really started to lose her patience here.

“For a little while only. They were traveling quite often and I was going to a private school they couldn't afford.”

“Ok, that's good!” The Doctor said with a sincere smile. “So I have one last question for you and I promise it will be over.” The woman paused and put her arms on the desk, crossing her fingers and staring directly in Lily's eyes.

Why do I have a bad feeling about this? Lily silently asked herself.

“What are you expecting from our sessions?”

Oh... good question. She was the shrink, she was supposed to know that much better than anyone, right? Lily sighed again but took her time to think about her answer, and her eyes turned a little darker.

“I would like...” she started and thought again, “I want to forget my past, stop hurting and move on with my life.” Tears were now threatening to fall but she managed to blink them away.

“Why would you want to forget your past?”

“You said only one more question...”

“Humor me.”

“Because it hurts too much.” Lily couldn't hold her tears back at that point, and she mentally cursed herself, but she suddenly couldn't stop speaking.

“I can't go on with my life if I'm obsessed with the bad things that happened to my family, and I'm scared of what I could do if I keep being obsessively guilty about it. I don't want my grandma to worry about me, she's been through enough already, I just don't want to be a burden for her.”

Where did that come from? She did not plan to talk that much on her first session.

“This is the point, Lily: you can't change your past, and you can have your life back even when you remember everything that happened to you. Good or bad. That's why I'm here, I'll make sure you can deal with your past and use it to move on without forgetting who you are or trying to be someone else. And I will prove you that you're not guilty of anything, and you're certainly not a burden for your grandmother who loves you enough to fly to another continent to start all over. Do you believe we can do that together?”

“I... I don't know.”

“It's okay. You're probably lost right now and it's totally understandable, but I can assure you we can do this, taking baby steps, and it's gonna be okay in the end. That is, if you really want it, though.”

“I do,” she answered honestly.

“Alright then. I guess it's gonna be it for today. You did really great I'm very proud of you. We're going to dig a little deeper next time, but don't worry, I will never push you past your limits, I promise. As long as you trust me, it's going to be fine.”

“Alright. I'll try.”

“Great! See you next week, then? Try to keep yourself busy until then. I'm sure that won't be a problem, considering you need to start a new life in a new country.” Dr Dorville stood up and extended her hand to Lily.

“Yeah,” she scoffed, but shook her hand anyway. “That will be so easy. Goodbye, Doctor.”

“See you soon, Lily.”

She left Dr Dorville's office with mixed feelings after that first session. Lots of bad feelings, but still a little sparkle of hope, and it felt good to hope again.

[jawritter]

You and Me...

Chapter 15

***SERIES WARNINGS**** Rape, non-con, male!rape, injury, violence, description of injury caused by rape, nightmares, self-harm, panic attacks, implied female non-con, language, ass hole Jensen, hurt!Jensen, dark fic, smut. If there is anything else I will add it as I go.

***Chapter Warnings*** Language probably somewhere in there, because it’s me y’all. Hints of anxiety, brief mentions of nightmares, and panic attacks. Like very brief, self-confidence issues. (If that’s a proper way to describe it...) Slight angst, a very little fluff, I think that’s about it. 

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 3278

A/N: This chapter is a combo of the original chapters 15 & 16, It might look at first glance like a filler chapter, but pay close attention to details in behaviors. **SPOILER** If you do it will save you some shock in upcoming chapters lol. As always all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work!! Feedback is gold! I hope you enjoy this one!

Summary: It’s funny how one choice you made can change your whole life. One mistake can alter your course, and set you on a path that forever will haunt you. Two people find themselves getting through one of the hardest trials of Jensen’s life, on just one small promise. You and Me. We’ll get through it together…

Want more? Check out my masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***YOU AND ME MASTERLIST***

The sun broke pink just over the horizon of Jensen's property. You found yourself sitting on the back porch with a cup of coffee in your hands, listening to the early morning sounds of birds overhead.

Even though it was fall, it was still slightly warm from the rain that had passed yesterday. Jensen and yourself had fallen asleep on the floor pallet that he'd made somewhere in the middle of the first season of Game of Thrones. You both would have stayed there too, that is if the nightmares hadn’t started.

You moved the both of you to the bedroom, but you never really went sound to sleep after that. Jensen seemed to fall asleep again pretty soundly thankfully, and when you made your way out here he was still sleeping soundly.

You'd already been up, showered, picked up all the pillows and blankets, and gotten yourself ready for the day. You were planning on finishing your cup of coffee and waking up Jensen if he'd not woken up by then, and get started on breakfast.

It had rained so much yesterday that the roads headed into the studio were flooded. That being said, it looked like the two of you got another day off.

Standing and stretching, you see Jensen sitting at the bar on the phone. A cup of coffee in hand, and his hair a mess. He looked so cute when he was still sleepy in the morning, and you couldn’t help the content smile that spread over your face at the almost normal scene playing out before you, it was nice after everything that had happened to feel somewhat normal.

Opening the door you were starting to hear bits and pieces of the conversation he was having over whoever he was on the phone with.

"Yes Danneel I'm aware of that, but if I want to see someone I'm entitled to do so... No... No... I don't know if that's a good idea... Well, I'm still... Yes, I'm aware of that... But I...WOULD YOU SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK PLEASE!... I'm still having some problems. I don't know if that's a smart thing to do right now... I do want to help... Okay fine...FINE!... I'll be there to get her in a few hours... If you just have to have her picked up now I can call Jared... Because I just got out of bed that's why... Whatever damn, you're being a bitch this morning... Yes, I did call you a bitch. Keep it up and your descriptions are going to get more colorful than that... Fuck you... I'll call Jared and have him pick her up. I'm not in the mood to see you right now." 

With that, he hung up the phone and rubbed his face with his hands, not even noticing you were standing there.

You walk up behind him and start rubbing his shoulders, not exactly sure what to do here, not wanting to overstep your place. His head rolled against you, and let out a deep sigh as you worked the knots out of his tense body.

"Everything okay?" you finally got up the nerve to ask. You normally tried to stay out of his business when it came to Danneel. You didn’t want him to feel like you were trying to step yourself in where you had no business being, and this was the first time you had ever blatantly asked about something that was going on between them.

"Yeah, it's fine. One of the twins has the stomach flu. Danneel doesn't want JJ to catch it so that she doesn't miss school. So she called and asked if she could spend the week with me. Which is fine, but she wants me to go get her from her house right now," he shrugged and turned around to wrap his arms around your middle, pulling you closer to him.

“She also has somehow found out about us, and she wasn’t exactly happy about it, even though it’s none of her damn business.” 

You kept your mouth shut because you understood a little bit of Danneel’s side there. Her children still had to see their dad, and that might mean you’re around them too… You would probably have had a similar response.

"I hope she doesn't see me having some of the problems that I'm having right now. It's not that I don't want to see her, I just don't want her to see me this fucked up," he said, his voice muffled because of his head pressed against your chest.

"It will be fine. She's not gonna notice. She's just gonna be happy to see her daddy," you tell him, running your fingers through his tousled morning hair. Honestly, it was becoming your favorite thing to do.

Just as you were about to pull away from him and fix breakfast so that he could get ready to have Jared pick up his daughter. The phone rang again.

"What Danneel?... Damn... Well, she was already exposed... Okay... No, it's fine... Tell her when she gets better I'll come pick her up, and we'll go to the zoo again and get Ice cream or something... No, I know... I'm sorry too, I'm just not myself still... Tell the kids I love them... Okay... Fine... Okay... Bye." 

He let out a deep breath and dropped his head down on the bar.

"What's up?" you asked, feeling like you were seriously intruding, but you were concerned about any sort of stress being on him right now.

"Looks like she's already caught it. She started getting sick when Danneel got off the phone with me a while ago. So she's just gonna keep her there." Jensen said, being torn between his family, and where he was now was still something he was learning how to do; on top of the stress that his attack had put on him. What made it worse was that you didn’t know how to help him through this part.

The physical you could handle, the nightmares, the panic attacks, you could handle, but when it came to his kids, that’s a whole different ball game.

"I'm gonna go grab a shower," he says, standing from the stool and placing a kiss on your forehead before making his way to the bathroom. You wished there was something to make him feel better. You didn't know what you could do though. Deciding to give him his space would probably be the best idea you turn and start on breakfast.

A few hours later Jensen was sitting with a guitar strung over his lap in the chair next to the window, and you were sitting with the laptop in yours, working through some transcripts that the publishing company had sent you. For the first time in a long time, everything felt... Well... Normal... It was easy... There was a comfortable silence that had fallen between the two of you. Only the sound of Jensen's guitar and your fingers sliding across the keys of your computer filled the room.

Out of nowhere a loud knocking at the front door made the both of you jump, pulling you both out of your comfortable state.

"I got it," Jensen said, sitting his guitar on the stand, and standing to his feet. You were halfway wondering if it was Danneel So you closed your computer and looked toward the front door, listening to try and see who it was.

You weren't left in the dark long though. Jared's voice came booming through the house. You rolled your eyes and picked your computer back up. 'Jensen must have called him over,' you think to yourself, not paying much attention as the two men walked into the room and sat down.

"Okay guys, listen, I got some really big news just now," Jared said excitedly, almost jumping up and down in his seat like a kid on Christmas morning.

You look across the room at him and see a dark-haired woman you knew as Jared's wife sitting next to him. She smiles and nods in your direction and you do the same. You hadn’t even heard her come in with Jared.  

"Okay,” Jensen said, almost a little afraid judging by his tone of voice. "Spill."

"Well, I got a phone call early this morning from Robert and Andrew. There is a network that has been running our reruns on cable TV for years, they’re not happy that the show is over. Apparently, the president of TNT Kevin Reilly is a fan, and wants to pick up Supernatural on their network for season 16!" Jared was practically floating above his seat he was so happy. Gen looked over at her husband and laughed at him a little nervously, but you could see she was just as excited as he was, obviously feeding off her husband's good mood.

You looked at Jensen, he didn’t look as excited. His brow was furrowed, and he was biting his bottom lip. Looking down at his hands in this lap, he was obviously thinking hard about what Jared just said.

"Come on Jay," Jared said, picking up on his best friend's mood. "I've already talked to Misha. He's onboard. Let's give the Winchester another run." Jared said, sitting on the edge of his seat. He knew this could never fly if Jensen refused to participate, there was no acceptable recast, and there was no way the fandom would watch if Dean wasn’t a part.

"You know I want to," Jensen said in a rushed breath. "I'm just worried that I can't do some of the things now that they may want me to do," Jensen said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, still not looking at anyone in the room.

"Robert and I already thought about that. If this goes through we will work around any handicap, setbacks, or problem you may have that comes up. It won't be an issue," Jared assured him, giving his best Sam Winchester puppy dog eyes.

Jensen licked his lips and nodded his head. "Okay, let's try. What do we need to do?" he asked, looking up at Jared finally. Just a little hint of excitement in his own eyes you hadn't seen in a long time.

Maybe he needed this more than he knew he did...

"Well, we fly to Georgia to meet Robert, Andrew, Misha, and Kevin in the morning if we decide to do this. I know it's short notice man, but this may be our only opportunity to bring our show back.” 

Jensen chewed a little more on his lips, thinking hard.

"Okay, but Y/N comes with me," he said, reaching over and taking your hand in his.

"That's cool. Gen's coming with me. We'll rent a ridiculously expensive hotel with a spa in the bottom of it or some shit and the girls can hang out there while we're in the meeting," Jared said, looking between you and Gen. “Y/N will only be a phone call away if you need her.”

"Sounds great to me," Gen said.

"Yeah, I think that I can do that," you tell Jared, giving Jensen's hand a squeeze, letting him know you were okay with his decision, and that you were there.

"If this goes as planned, if we get the contract for a 16th season. Our lives are gonna change again dramatically." Jared said, looking at everyone in the room.

"Tell me when they where ever settled?" Jensen said, you could see his mood starting to lighten at the prospect of getting back to work.

Getting up you retrieve a beer for everyone in the room. You were a little scared, and a lot nervous, but the look on Jensen's face as he talked about getting back to work again made it all worth it. Whatever sacrifices were in the future, if you were with him, that's all that mattered.

The smile on his face right now as he talked to Jared about getting everyone back together again was worth everything that could possibly come again.

-------------------------------------

Jensen's POV:

"Yes sir. Mr. Reilly, we are more than excited to work with you all as well," Jensen said, standing and shaking hands with the man sitting across a conference table form Jared, Misha, Robert, Andrew, and Himself.  

The meeting had been a success, everyone agreed to everyone’s terms and needs, they were going to go for the 16th season of supernatural.

Honestly, it was something Jensen thought he had buried, he’d grieved it even, thinking he’d left Dean behind forever, but like he had told the fans of the show when does anything in supernatural ever stay dead?

Jared was convinced that they could easily knock out two more seasons, but Jensen was worried like he was when they had decided it was time to end supernatural in its 15th season. He wanted SPN to end on a high note, and it had in season 15, not though he was worried it wouldn’t be accepted as well as it went out, or when the hype faded it would fade before they could bring it to as close again.

Either way here they were, paperwork signed, plans with agencies, and crews were already in place, writers were being hired.

It was going to happen.

They will start filming next summer, Jensen's idea. Give everyone time to readjust their lives back into Vancouver. Also, it gave the writers a little more time to get their storyline together. It wasn't going to be easy to bring the brothers back. To be honest they were probably going to spend close to a year in Vancouver just preparing to kick off filming and getting the storyline straight.

As they exited the building Jared and Misha were arm and arm, skipping like a bunch of idiots. Robert and Andrew were walking ahead of him, talking excitedly on their phones. Every person that was involved in this show’s lives just changed dramatically.

They seemed excited about it. In a way, so was Jensen, but still, there was that uncertainty...

Supernatural was their life for years, over a decade and a half.

What if this didn't go well?

What if season 16 was a flop?

What if he couldn't do what they asked him to do?

What if he couldn't perform like he used to?

All these uncertainties rolled around in his head as his friends celebrated the whole way back to the hotel, but honestly, Jensen just felt tired.

"Jensen, you and Y/N gonna come to help us celebrate tonight?" Misha asked him. Jensen just rubbed his face tiredly.

"Actually guys, I think I'm gonna sit this one out. I'm pretty tired today," he said, Jared looked at him concerned from the front seat. Everyone else just gave him a look of pity. Man he hated when people looked at him that way now.

"Jay, are you sure you're okay, man?" he asked, trying to read his almost unreadable best friend.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine, just a little tired. I'll be fine once I get some sleep. Y/N and I are probably gonna fly home first thing tomorrow morning," he said, trying to change the subject to anything but where his head was right now.

"Yeah, Gen and I will too. Got a lot to prepare for!" Jared said, turning back around, giving up on trying to figure out what was wrong with Jensen and thinking to himself that he would just ask Y/N later how Jensen was really doing. He usually lets more show around her than he did anyone else and Jared knew that. If something was wrong Y/N hopefully would be able to get it out of him.

Jensen was tired, he wasn't lying, but more than anything he wanted to get back to the hotel room with Y/N. He wanted to get wrapped up with her again, and go into a stress induced coma for the next foreseeable future. The rest he could work out once he made it back home.

One step at a time.

That's just how he had to live his life right now.

Your POV:

Yourself and Gen had spent the day together while the boys were meeting with the network. You had let her talk you into going with her to get your nails done, and now the two of you were sitting in the small coffee shop across from the hotel when your phone rang, and Jensen told you both the good news.

Once you ended the call with Jensen you hurried to get back to the hotel room, waiting on Jensen to get back too.

He didn't seem himself on the phone.

He seemed distant, his voice seemed strained and tired.

Today was just not a good day for him mentally, and you knew it from the moment you both woke up this morning.

He needed to rest.

Even though his physical injuries had basically healed a while ago, his metal wounds hadn't even started to scab over yet. They were still sore and fresh. Too much in one day could cause another episode of panic attacks. He'd been making good progress, and you didn't want him to start to slip.

When Jensen came through the door he gave you a half-hearted smile, slipping his blazer off and throwing it in the chair next to you before kicking his shoes off, and flopping down on the bed next to you. You lay down next to him, start tracing little circles on his back. "You okay handsome?" you ask, he looked at you with a tired expression.

"Yeah, guess I'm not as mentally well as I thought I was. I'm exhausted for some reason," he tells you, scooting over closer to you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Stress babe. You can't let it get to you. You know that," you tell him, playing with the buttons on his shirt. He laughs a little at that.

"I'll be fine once we get started. It’s just… I worked so hard on this, gave up a good bit of my life into this show, I'm afraid it won't go very well. If it’s brought back."

You nuzzle your way up to him, giving him as much warmth as you could.

"I know, but don't worry about it. It will all pan out, just enjoy the fact that you guys get to bring it back. Don't worry about things you can't control." A comfortable silence fell between the two of you again. You thought for a moment that he'd fallen asleep until he spoke.

"They're all going to one of the local bars to celebrate, but I didn't really want to go," he says, shifting his weight a little.

"Well, then we don't have to go. There will be plenty of other celebrations and parties I'm sure as you guys start the season's filming."

Secretly you thought he should have gone out with his friends, but you didn’t say anything, you didn’t want to push him.

More silence fell over the room , and Jensen got up off the bed. "Come on, I can't keep doing this. I can't keep hiding where I think I'm safe. The only way I'm going to get past this feeling is to just break off and do it right? Well let's go grab a bite to eat, just you and me, then we'll go down to the bar with everyone else," he says, pulling you into a sitting position.

"You sure that's what you wanna do?" you asked him, eyeing him closely.

He'd never brought you to a restaurant before. You figured because he just didn't want to talk to anyone else right now, but now you could see it.

Anxiety.

He was afraid to be out in public. He was scared.

You didn't even recognize it until right now, and you were already kicking yourself for being so damn blind to it.

"Yeah, I'm sure," he says, pulling you to him, kissing you softly.

You made a mental note to start paying more attention to the little things, and stop passing it off as just Jensen being Jensen, because you were starting to worry just how bad his anxiety was, and if he was trying to cover it up and keep it from you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[jawritter]

You and Me...

Chapter 4

***SERIES WARNINGS**** Rape, non-con, male!rape, injury, violence, description of injury caused by rape, nightmares, self-harm, panic attacks, implied female non-con, language, ass hole Jensen, hurt!Jensen, dark fic, smut. If there is anything else I will add it as I go.

***Chapter Warnings*** Okay guys please pay attention to the warnings I’m about to say! This chapter gets a little heavy, and this is where it all starts to kind of pick up. This chapter will contain hints of non-con/ rape. Rough smut, Jensen is a complete ass hole in this one, and before you ask there is a reason for it, mostly to give you a peek at his mindset before things really get rocky for him. The actions of the characters in this fic are completely fiction, and they are not to be seen as reflections of the people themselves! Lighter warnings are language, self-loathing (implied on Jensen’s part), mild descriptions of injury related to sex, nothing heavy there’s worse out there, degrading actions in a way, regret, angst, smut, I think that’s everything. (At least I hope so.)

Word Count: 2236

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Jensen Ackles x Misha, Jensen Ackles x Jared, Jensen Ackles x Jessica, Reader X OFC Alex

A/N: When I originally wrote this chapter I didn’t even know who Steve Carlson was, so the Steve in this story isn’t him lol. Oddly enough I wrote this before I even really knew he was making an album lol. Anyway, all mistakes are mine, please don’t copy my work, Feedback is golden. If you want to be added to the series tag list, or my tag list just let me know! I hope you enjoy this one. After this chapter things tend to start to pick up a little.

Summary: It’s funny how one choice you made can change your whole life. One mistake can alter your course, and set you on a path that forever will haunt you. Two people find themselves getting through one of the hardest trials of Jensen’s life, on just one small promise. You and Me. We’ll get through it together…

Want more? Check out my Masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***YOU AND ME MASTERLIST***

Jensen’s POV:

“I can’t believe she got you back!” 

Jared was laughing, leaning up against the bar in Jensen’s kitchen. Misha was sitting across from him, trying to hide the fact that he thought it was more than a little funny as well. 

“Yeah man, you kinda ask for it,” he finally said, taking a long swig of his beer. A smirk firmly planted on his face and his eyes sparkling with a hint of amusement. 

 "Screw you both,“ Jensen said, turning around and grabbing himself a beer out of the fridge, a smirk playing across his face. He saw the hint of jealousy cross Y/N’s face when he greeted Jennifer today. He didn’t miss that every time he gave Jennifer a compliment, or flirted with her just a little bit that it was getting under Y/N’s skin. He knew Y/N had a crush on him.

He’d been in the entertainment industry long enough to be able to pick it off a girl’s face across a room. Which came in pretty handy at bars and parties. 

He saw the way her breath caught when she met him for the first time. He saw the smirk cross her face when he got pissed today while she was screwing with him.

Jensen slipped his tongue out and over his full pink lips, letting it run across his lips slowly, followed by his teeth pulling slightly at his bottom lip. 

"I know that look,” Misha said not even trying to hide his amusement at this point. “He likes her,” he said, looking to Jared grinning like he’d just won the lottery. “Jensen’s got the hots for Y/N,” still with that same evil smirk on his face. 

“What? No, I don’t!” Jensen said, getting up from his seat he’d just sat in across the bar from Jared and turning his back to them again so that they could not see his face, acting like he was cleaning up a spill on the counter. 

“Oh yeah, I’ve seen that look before. You got a crush on Y/N. Furthermore, I think she may have it for you just as bad. She just doesn’t know it yet,” Misha said, taking another swig of his beer, raising his eyebrows annoyingly.

“I do not have a thing for Y/N,” Jensen said, still trying to defend himself. “She’s a self-absorbed little bitch.”

“She’s only a bitch because you’re a dick,” Jared said, staring at his friend and trying his best to read him. 

Jensen just stopped wiping at the counter and stared at him. The conversation he walked up on coming back to his mind. The look on Y/N’s face when she said that he was probably gonna go fuck Jennifer later stun more than he wanted to admit it did, even to himself. 

He ran his fingers ideally over the small piece of paper in his pocket that Jennifer had slipped there when he hugged her goodbye today. No doubt it was her number. He definitely had a chance to get her in bed. That’s all he’d want from her anyway. She seemed like a nice enough girl, but she was a lot younger than him, and he didn’t want to screw up her life by letting her get attached to him.  It had been way too long since he was ‘with’ a woman, and he needed to blow off some steam. 

“I’m definitely thinking about hooking up with that blonde though,” Jensen said with a smirk, his friends exchanged worried looks between themselves. 

“Jay she’s young, man,” Jared said looking at his friend, his concern grew more and more by the minute. He’d never seen Jensen act this way before, much less heard him talk about or to a woman the way he has lately.  

“She’s legal,” Jensen said, waving his hand, and blowing his friend off, and pulling out his phone and the little slip of paper. 

“Whatever man, I still think it’s a bad idea,” Misha said, getting up and finishing his beer. He didn’t like to see Jensen in this state, and he wasn’t going to watch him sit around and do something stupid. 

“I’ll see you guys around. I got a charity event to help organize. You guys gonna be there?” he asked, looking at Jared more than Jensen. Seems like Jensen’s plans had already been set for the night.

“Sure man, I’ll be there,” Jared said, getting up to see Misha out to his rental car. Jensen just grunted and continued texting, setting up his meetup for tonight. 

Your POV:

Sitting at your friend’s bar in downtown Austin you take a look at the room that was buzzing around you.

It wasn’t late, but it was a weekday, so the crowd here was kind of calmer than usual. You liked it when the bar was like this. Less noise and chaos.  Alex, your friend, was leaning in on the bar cleaning off some spilled alcohol from a few minutes ago when he tried to show off his shot stacking skills and failed miserably. You needed the laugh. He was always good for that. That’s why he was one of the people you were closest to.  He always knew how to pick you up when you needed it.

“So, how much longer do you have to work with said dick?” Alex asked, you weren’t supposed to tell anyone that Jensen was recording at your work, but you knew Alex wouldn’t tell anyone. 

The two of you had met In college, and he was the older brother you never had. You told him everything. You always had. When you started having trouble in any way you always told him. This Jensen issue was no different. 

“Not a clue. Kinda is up to him. However long it takes for him to correctly cut the 12 songs he’s chosen to record. He’s talented enough, but he’s such a raging ass hole,” you tell him, taking a long swig of your beer. 

“You know it seems a little out of character for the guy. I’ve seen all the convention videos and watched the tv interviews. He didn’t seem like a dick then. Jared said he was going through a divorce. We don’t know what his ex-wife did. Just give him some space and some respect. We’re not in his shoes and we don’t know what he’s going through. He may loosen up around you now that he knows you can hold your own,” Alex said, walking down the bar to wait on another customer. 

You knew he was right. He usually was. Alex always tried to see the best in everyone, no matter how they presented themselves. That was just his way. 

Maybe some of this was your fault. You hadn’t exactly handled this situation like an adult either. So if you were being completely honest with yourself, you could be partially to blame.

Tomorrow you will try and make peace with the man because you didn’t really want to go to war with someone like him. You also had watched the con videos, and the thought of having to deal with an ass hole who likes to prank people just wasn’t falling very high on your bucket list. 

Tonight though, you would enjoy the fact that today you won. That would be enough. You still had to work with the man for the foreseeable future. There was no reason to have to go to work miserable every day, just because you couldn’t handle a little attitude from a client. 

You were going to be the bigger person if it killed you.

Still, when he looked at you, no matter how mad you were at him, or how much you tried to hate him, you get that same feeling deep in your gut that you haven’t been able to pinpoint yet. It bothered you. It bothered you more than it probably should have. Cause once he was done with this recording, you knew you’d never see him again. That was probably what got to you most of all.

Jensen’s POV:

Sliding his now softened length out of the young blond laying underneath him, Jensen immediately stood to his feet without even looking at Jennifer he started for the bathroom. She laid there on the bed, saying nothing, just staring at Jensen. A pissed off look on her face. 

That was not what she expected. 

That wasn’t what she really wanted. 

How could she tell him no though? He really gave her no room for an opinion. 

Jensen had been a little rough with Jennifer purposely. All he wanted was to do what came there to do and leave. He didn’t want her getting attached, and catching feelings that he honestly wouldn’t be able to reciprocate it. 

Someone else seemed to have a hold on him already, no matter how much he fought against it.

He could tell she hadn’t enjoyed what had just gone on between them. He had got off though, and so in his opinion, his mission was accomplished. 

When he came out of the bathroom he saw her sitting with her back to him slipping her shirt back on over her head. He saw the light purple bruises he had left on her neck and sides. Flashes of what went on a few moments ago ran in front of his eyes. 

Her small frame slamming against the door. His hands roughly undressed her. The feeling of his hand firmly around her throat. The look of fear in her eyes.

 He shook his head trying to shake the image from his mind. Guilt already starting to take its hold. 

When she stood to slide her skirt back up her legs he saw the bruises he had left here in the shape of his fingers. She had told him he was hurting her, that she wanted him to stop; but he didn’t. He just kept going until he was finished... Why didn’t he just stop…

Jensen swallowed hard, trying to not vomit in the middle of the hotel room floor. His own actions made him sick to his stomach. Why did he do that? What the hell was wrong with him? He didn’t want to hurt her. He just…  He just lost control, taking things out on her that he’d obviously had pint up inside of him since the divorce. 

Walking over to her without a word Jensen looked down at her, and she wouldn’t look at him. Damn, he’d screwed up now, and he knew it. 

Putting his finger under her chin, making her look at him. He stared at her for a moment. There was something wrong, no light there. The excited girl he’d taken here just an hour before long gone.

He hated what he was doing, but he had to protect himself. 

“Let’s just keep tonight between you and me. No need for anyone else to know,” he said, winking at her like it could solve everything, and she’d just melt at his feet and forgive him. 

He knew that wasn’t going to happen. She said nothing, just stared at him with hate forming in her eyes. Pulling a few bills from his pocket, Jensen threw it on the bed next to her. She looked down at the money, and then up to him. 

“Show yourself out,” he said. grabbing his wallet and heading for the door. 

He hated himself for what he just did. He saw it now. He needed help. The look on that poor girl’s face haunting his memory as he drove back to his house, stopping several times along the way to throw up. Even though it started out consensual, it hadn’t ended that way and he knew it.  

He didn’t even make it to the front door before another wave of bile fell from his mouth uncontrollably, having already lost the entire contents of his stomach on the drive home. 

He had turned into a monster. He hated himself for what he’d just done, but he couldn’t take it back. It was done. There was no way to fix it.

Images of himself repeatedly ramming himself into her. The dead star that took hold on her face after she finally gave up begging him to stop. The tears that were pouring down her face.  How she tried to squirm away from him... 

Another wave of sick came falling from his mouth as he stood in the shower, scrubbing his skin raw under scalding hot water, trying to wash the monster away. He’d never forgive himself for what he’d done to Jennifer. He dreaded facing her at the studio tomorrow.  How in the hell was he going to face someone he’d hurt so deeply?

He drank himself to sleep that night, texting Jared telling him that he was sorry for the way he’d been acting, promising he would stop being an ass hole. He didn’t tell his friend what he’d done, he couldn’t, he could never tell anyone. It would die with him, shame making him hate himself deeper than he ever thought was possible.

He laid there that night praying that whoever was listening up there would forgive him for what he’d done. 

Give him another chance. 

—————————————————————————————————-

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[ain-t-bovvered]

14x13 (300th) Commentary

Special episode where a bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies  (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon  (Kat)

@waywardbaby  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giu)

1 2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12

“Dad’s on a hunting trip- 

[shuts laptop]

Giu: It’s already a no from me

uuugh ok [opens laptop]

“-and he hasn’t been home in a few days “

Zee: That’s when I fell in love

Kat : I fell in love at “easy tiger”

Nat: He looks like a demon

Giu: he does

sign under the register: your baby daddy sitting in jail? Sell your gold and get bail. 

wow.

S: we are looking for the good stuff.

me searching for men

Kat : I need that wad of money, And the man attached to it

Giu: SAM

Zee : So done

Nat: Dean's done

Kat : That was so Jared lol

D.”No you didn’t”

Kat: Oh shit Dean. All sexy business

Giu: They not happy

Kat : FIRE

Giu: NOT THE HAIR NOT THE HAIR

[pauses video] TUMMY! [presses play again]

Giu: HE’S A BIG BOY

Zee : Turn his back to dean?

Nat&Kat: They always talk too much

Nat: he stole my line

Nat: PLAGIARISM

Nat: don't put that in

Giu: I’m gonna put that in

Nat: no

The smoke coming out the gun tho. I love that gun.

Zee : Put that down dean

Giu: Dean don’t touch things

In what goddamn dystopian fantasy a theater in 2019 show Beetlejuice? because I wanna live there.

Giu: I want that jacket. Doesn’t it look like the family business jacket?

Zee : I want that car,with everything in it

Giu: ...AND ON IT

Nat: I want that man

Giu: lol it’s like the Winchesters are some sort of the mean girls of town. 

The Campbell brothers are scary. They have two shotguns and a strange silver blade. 

I hear the tall one hair's insured for $. 

I hear the other one has a tinder account. His favorite music can be heard from miles before coming into town.

One time, they met god. And he stayed at their house. One time, they killed Hitler. It was awesome.

Kat : I WANT THE MEN

-” The Campbell brothers “  [sobs]

D:”Make it double”

Oh look the Family Business stuff again

S:” John Wayne Gacy cigar box” 

uh that’s not good. 

“Jack and Cass are out with Jules and her crew. When they’re back they can help us cataloging “ [already excited] 

D:” aWeSoME”

- “Where did they even came from? them or their weird sidekick with the trench coat” 

I love how before the boy Eliot talked about hearing stuff from the trunk of the car and I did not even bat an eye, because.....yeah...probably happened more than once.

Giu&Kat: Dumb bambi look

- Max:” It doesn’t mean they kidnapped bigfoot or whatever “

that could have happened too .

How did I miss all this gay vibes between the girls before?

Giu: anyway that is unrealistic, those girls would be drooling after those two.

Nat: Nah, they're too old for them

me at myself editing the commentary: they lesbian, bitch .

Nat: Max is trouble, isn't she

Kat: Don’t touch my baby’s car teen bitch

Zee : Why is sam so hot here?

Nat: BABY

- D;” No,no, no, no”

Zee : Oh the bitch did

Giu: THEY DED

Giu: DON T MOVE YESSIR

-S *thinks of the kids*

D: “Swear to God if anything happens to that car-” *thinks murder*

Giu: Meanwhile dean is having panic attacks

Nat&Giu&Kat: I don't wanna die. lol

Giu: TRIPLE PLAGIARISM

Kat: Stop Omg

Nat: We should stop

Zee : Look at those puppy eyes

- “So you want me to give you an underage girl’s address?” 

Nat: hahahahahahhahahahahaha i like that woman

D:”Marta, how’s that grandson of yours?”

“if you could help us out I would, I would really appreciate it”

“Please”

Zee : I’d melt

Kat: THAT TAP

Nat: I mean...helloooooo

Giu: There goes her values

Nat: I would tell him everything and more

Zee : Giuls the hand gif. Please and thank you

- you want my address too?

Kat: He’s putting the moves

Kat: Their lips are extra pink

-Yeah but like...I would have melt with Sam too honestly.

SKIP DAY!  aaaah the memories, we had skip days once a month.

Giu: OH NO

Zee : They dumb

Giu: i wouldn’t touch that creepy fuck teddy bears

Giu: can I slap some sense in those bitches

Giu: GACY FUCK NO

Nat: Baby, please tell me you're not hurt

Kat: BABY BABY

D: “ FBI everybody out” 

me : ....arrest me.

Giu: Sam: no fuck clown

Kat: Serial killer clown

Nat: Sammy, I think you need to get away

Kat: Best and worst thing ever

- D:” ‘Cause you love serial killers but you hate clowns” 

eh same .

Zee : look how happy he is

D:” Sam....today”

Kat: HURRRY UP SAMMEH

D: “....Hey! “

Nat: Dean Bean

Kat: Adorable bean

Zee: We’re damn good at why we do

Nat: They're going all dad on them

Kat: It’s hot

- S:” You sure don’t wanna call Mom here? or Cass?”

 D:” No because if it works , great, if not, why get their hopes up?”

Zee : Hello

Nat: JOHN

Kat: SHIT SHIT. SHIT Kicking their asses lol

Giu: My eyes are sweating

Nat: I got Negan vibes lol

? : “Don’t you move” 

[chills]

Zee : That’s another Daddy

Giu: HE LOOKS GOOD

J: “What in the hell”

J: “Sammy, aren’t you supposed to be in Palo Alto?”

Nat: Palo Alto. Oh god.

Giu: Good god [sobs]

J: “What happened to you?”  when did you stretch like that

Nat: It's 2003

Kat: It’s very difficult

J:”You saved the world?”

Zee : More than once

Giu: We died....more than once

Zee : Look at that precious face

D:”I think he’d be real happy to know you are finally here”

- Glad they mentioned Henry, I miss him.

S:” We are legacies because of you”

J.” I just wish that I had been there to see it”

Nat: Awww the look on Sammy

Nat: It fucking breaks my heart alright

D:”Non of this would have happened without you”

J:” It’s good, it’s fine. I went out taking out yellow eyes. That was the point. Get the thing that killed Mom”

Giu: im not ready for what.’s coming

Zee : Me neither

Kat: So much sobbing

Nat: What are you talking about. I'm not ready for the whole damn episode

Giu: STOP WITH THE MUSIC

Zee : Brace yourselves

- J [desperately softly]:” ...Mary?”

Giu: OH NO FUCKING JDM

Nat: Oh god NO

Zee : Oh fuck you

Giu: FUCK MY LIFE. FREAKING ACTING SKILLS.

Nat: FUCK OFF

Zee : IM SCREAMING HERE

Nat: THE BOYS...lol

D:” I’m freaking out”

No Dean, I’m freaking out. And I already know, looking at Sam face, what’s coming.

Nat: "I wanted this man"

D:” I wanted this since I was 4 years old”

I CAN T

Zee: One family dinner

Nat: NO DEAN BEAN PLEASE Sammy is right

Kat: He is but it hurts. So much

Nat: TAKE A KNIFE AND STAB ME

oH....Sammy and Daddy time. Can I skip?

Look at John fucking face!! he’s already so proud.

S:” Dean and I tried to make that once” [nervous laughter]

[John’s face falls] 

Zee : Here come regrets

J:”i...I remember “

Sam’s like...”you do?”

J: “ I screwed up with you a lot, didn’t I?”

The noise and expression and breathing Jared choose to made here is worth more than any words

Nat: GOD, SAM YOU PRECIOUS BEAN

S:” no, that’s okay”

J:”No, it’s not”

[me bathing into the holy light of jesus] yeeeees thank you 

Sam looks so uncomfortable.

J: “You didn’t have a problem talking about it before you left” 

ooooh John is trying so hard tho.

S: “..Dad...” [pauses like he can’t believe he can say that again]

me hitting myself : stop doing this to yourself bitch.

S: “ yeah...you know what? you did some messed up things”

S: “When I think about you....and I think about you a lot..[voice cracks]”

S:”I think about you on the floor of that hospital. And I think about how I never got to say goodbye”

Giu: fuck NOPE I’M OUT

Kat: *drags you back*

Giu: *fights it*

Zee: I’ll tie you down bitch just watch

Kat: I can’t i can’t I can’t

Giu: JARED STOP

Nat: FUCK JARED WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD

Nat: JARED STAHP

Kat: JARED IS INCREDIBLE

J: “Sam....[touches him]”

S: [gets almost scared when John touches him]

and now a change of camera so you can see more hurt

Nat: FUCK THIS I'M GOING OUT WITH YOU GIULS

Kat: I’ll tie you down

Zee: Can this fucking music just stop

Giu: CAN SOMEONE JUST GIVE ME MERCY? it’s 8:40am it’s too early for this

Kat: FUCK YOU JARED PADALECKI

Giu: STOP CRYIG

Giu: ahahahaahahhahahahaahah imma have a heart attack

Nat: SHIT NO FUCK THIS

Giu: Im forgetting english and spelling

J: “Son...I am so sorry”

Zee: That’s enough

Nat: YOU FOUGHT FOR US THAT'S ENOUGH

Giu: CLOSURE

Nat: what's english i'll start to groan in german soon

Zee: I’ll swear in Greek

Giu: I’m already gesturing in italian anyway

S:”Want some company?”

Nat: I get the booze you get the food, I want that bumper sticker

Nat: Why doesn't he remember?What the fuck is happening

Giu: The surnaaaame

Kat: YOU’LL SEE THE SHIT IT HAPPENING

Giu: THE FUCK

Zee : Blue steel

Nat: BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Giu: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

Never forget

Nat: WANNA BE TED TALK

Nat: PROFESSOR JARED

Giu: GOD BLESS KALE (Misha wrote that)

Kat: THE TURTLENECK

hot take: that’s Misha’s turtle neck

Nat: THE GLASSES

D:”No, no , it gets worse”

TEDTalk!Sam is an empty shell. I hate it.

Kat: THE SLICKED BACK HAIR

Giu: Lotta beheadings

Zee : Can Jared stop being hotter in this ep?

D:”Well, I’m cool but you are  ugh”

Giu: I saw enough doctor who to know what is Sam talking about.

S:” If all is different, then what else changed”

Giu: OH.

Zee : Oh no

Nat: Zach is also ugh

Giu: NO GO AWAY

Giu: HEY BABE

- GUESS WHO NEVER FOUGHT IN HELL AND RAISED SOME SALTY ASS FROM PERDITION???

Z:”Earth ...where you are always stepping in something”

I mean, he’s not wrong

Zee: Constantine

Nat&Zee: I don't understand that reference

Giu: SDEFAFANSBAKWBLENDP

Zee : Control yourself woman

D:”How are we gonna tell Dad?”

S: “How are we gonna tell Mom”

Nat: Why are the teens everywhere are they running out of extras? I can be an extra.... for love scenes

Zee : I can be a fly in the wall

Z:”I need to know who’s been messing with time?” like...I mess with time, that’s my thing, who’s stealing my job

Giu: SQUINTY BOY

Z:”This town is always been a little muddy for us”

Z:” he...murders you all”

Kat: Ugh I want to stab Zach in the face

oh jfc Cass is a fucking murder machine,kinda like the apocalypse world NO 

Nat: Zach, just shut the fuck up, will ya

Zee: I’m an angel of the lord AAAAAAHHHHHH

Zee : GIULS IM DEAD

Giu: IS IT BAD THAT IM AROUSED

Kat: WINGS

Giu: FUCK

Zee: THE ONLY LOGICAL OUTCOME.  Babe how dare you ?

D:”Cass? “

C: who’s this bright soul , oh no he’s hot.

D:”Cass, you know us”

C: I WISH.

C: “I don’t know you”

Kat: I DONT KNOW YOU

Nat: Ow...a stab in the heart

Giu: NO

Kat : Breaking my heart

- Oh look you can pin point the exact moment HIS heart breaks.

D:” Cass, don’t”

Giu: LAGO DI GARDA!!

Nat: THE GARDA LAKE? IS THAT AN EXPRESSION?

Giu: No , it’s where i live.

- The satisfaction of seeing Sam kill Zach. Sam enjoying it.

Kat: YAS SAMMEH

Nat: Cas, come on!

- I love that Sam is holding the blade to cut and not stab.

ok ok...honestly I’m enjoying this ok? in the sense that I missed seeing Castiel so strong and powerful , and this is as it should be. He’s an angel , a soldier, with eons of wars behind, he was a captain ffs, the Winchester, they can be as strong as you want but they are human. Even Zach was stronger than them, he was just stupid to fall for Sam trick.

Giu: PLEASE DON’T KILL THEM

Giu: please don’t kill Cass, please don’t kill Cass.

Kat: Dudes the bloopers from this scene will be epic

Nat: I SWEAR IF THEY DON'T SHOW IT

Giu: IM HAVING A HEART ATTACK

D:”Cass, Cass, stop it”

....bitch HE HESITATED , Cass hesitated , he just kept Dean there when he could have just snaps his neck with a bit of pressure.

Zee : Sammy to the rescue

Giu: OH THANK GOD

Us: We want Bamf Castiel back!

Writers: OK

Us: NOT LIKE THIS

Zee: Who needs a heart?

oh look, those plates have the same decorations as the cups we saw in older eps. WHY DO I KNOW THAT. 

D:”Egghead”

Nat: me vs. your mom that's not even a choice

Giu: JOHN

Zee : Mary is showing emotion

Nat: I know who i would chose

yeah ok...I would choose this John tho, not the one we started in 2005 .

Zee : Me too

Kat: I almost don’t hate her. She’s hurting so bad. But everything else would be fucked

M:” Sam I can’t”

me too Mary, me too.

Nat: that's the thing. she's hurting more about her husband than her boys

Kat: I said almost

-J:” I never meant for this”

Kat: No son

J: “My fight. It was supposed to end with me. With Yellow eyes”

Giu: AGAIN

J:” But now you- you are a grown man and I’m incredibly proud of you”

Zee : Look how proud

Nat&Giu: JOHN, STAY

Kat: He’s waited so long to hear hat

Nat: LET SAM BE INTERNET FAMOUS

J:” I guess that I hoped, eventually,you would...get yourself a normal life, a peaceful life, a family.”

Zee&Giu : I have a family

Nat&Kat: WE EAT

Nat: A man after my taste

Giu: AND MY POOR HEART

Zee : Too much silence

Kat: #awkward

Nat: #sad

Giu: #The last supper

Zee : Stahp

Kat: SHUT UP BITCH

J:” We can be grateful for this time we have together.”

Kat:  #AMEN

Nat: sounds like AYE MEN

Giu: ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT

Kat: Fucking Bob Seger

Giu: THEY DESERVE ALL OF THIS,ALL OF IT . MY BABIES

Kat: I WANNA KNOW THE CONVO

Nat: #DOMESTIC LIFE

S: “It doesn’t feel right to have all of this and have to throw it away and I know we have to.” S:” He just goes back to...to..being Dad”

-Oh honey 

Giu: Sam is panicking

Nat: Who would save the world tho

S:” I think it would be nice”

D:” yeah? I used to think that too.”

D:”For the longest time I blamed Dad. I mean I blamed Mom too,you know. I was angry”

D: “Why don’t send him further back , and let some other poor sons of bitches save the world?

oh...OH Dean is woke

D:” But there’s the problem. Who does that makes us? Would we be better off? Maybe. But I’ve got to be honest. I don’t know who that Dean Winchester is.”

D:”I’m good with who I am,and I’m good with who you are”

Zee : Does anybody else experiencing chest pain??

Nat: What's a chest. I can't feel anything below my mouth

Giu: what s a mouth

Kat: #too old for this shit

D:”Cause our life, they are ours”

Kat: BAWLING

Kat: THIS FUCKING MUSIC

M: “I hate this”

Giu: WE HATE THIS

Zee&Kat: My girl

-NOOOOOO

J:”I miss you so damn much”

Nat: #make it stop

Nat: fuck this

Kat: NONONONONONONONONONONO I

Giu: STOP IT STOOOOP

Nat: JARED CONTROL YOUR FACE

Kat: THEY BOTH NEED TO

Zee : Fuck this flips table

-What a soft hug omg I can’t. Why is John so soft , whyyyyyy.

Giu: I WANNA DIE

Nat: FUCK THIS

-Dean’s eyes are dead , he’s trying to be emotionless and I can’t deal with it.

Also Sam keeps throwing glances at Dean and it breaks me.

John looking at his sons is PAAAAIN.

J:” You two. You take care of each other”

S: “We always do”

Can I say that I expected some “Yes Sir” here and there and I’m so glad that there were none? Like...yes they grow up and they are their own men and I’m so damn glad. I would have hated if I heard them saying that.

Kat: GOOD TO SEE YOU DAD

Dean said that so softly I can’t

Nat: OMG

Giu: JARED FUCK

Zee : I’m gonna faint

Nat&Kat: I AM SO PROUD OF YOU BOYS

Giu: JDM FUCK U TOO

Nat: FUCK YOU ALL OF YOU

This ....Jared you fucking broke me here, you just ...can’t go and act like this and expect me to still be breathing .

Giu: JAY DON’T

Goddammit Dean still looks like he doesn’t wan’t to break but ...I can see it, your lips are shaking damn you Jensen.

Oh no here comes the hug of pain.

J:”I love you both so much”

why is Sam crying so much this season , JARED !

-oH NO DEAN SAID IT....DEAN SAID I LOVE YOU , I CAN’T , 911 HELP I CAN’T BREATHE

Nat: HEY, FUCK THIS SHIT I'M GONE

I’m so sick of seeing tears ok? And seeing John so emotional??? NAAAAAH FUCK THAT, I saw those tears falling . FUCK U

NOT THE WINK 

Zee : Can they all fuck the fuck off???

J:”Sammy...”

Kat: JENSEN FUCK YOU JARED FUCK YOU JDM FUCK YOU

Nat: TAKE MARY WITH YOU

Giu: dean your face

Kat: JENSEN BROKE ME

Dean looked like a little scared kid there and he just broke me once again.

Nat: THIS IS NOT RIGHT AND THEY KNOW IT THE WRITERS KNOW IT  I HATE THIS SO MUCH

Kat: Yeah but that one look. Fuck

ok Now....I wanted to make this gif so badly because it haunted me. This....This is when Sam break the pearl. The sound looks like it hit Dean like a bullet or something and I just ....look at him it looks like he wants to scream, his lips seems like they are spelling a soundless ‘NO’ or he just let go, because he wasn’t breathing until the sound ....I need a minute, I’m gonna throw up my breakfast. 

Bye John , I’ll miss you fiercely

aaaaand Dean looks like he’s dead again.

Nat: HEY GIULS Lebanon walk.

Nat I’m dead what do you want me to do? Call me if there is a ghost walk of Lebanon-

Also YAAAAAAS THOSE TWO ARE THE CUTEST

Nat&Kat&Giu: CAS

Sam looks relieved

Kat: OF FUCK THIS

Nat: Look at that phone

Giu: OMG NO

Nat&Zee&Kat: One hell of a dream

Kat: So much plagiarism

Zee : This music NEEDS to stop

Nat: NO WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS

Giu: THE FUCK

Zee : Can we have a “fuck” count ?

Nat: aWWWW...jACK

Nat: WTF JACK

Giu: Jack honey dont

Kat: WHAT ARE THE DOING TO BABY BEAN

Zee: March 7???

Nat: Yeah no

Writers: heya! we are gonna give you some sweet stuff for the 300th, y’all gonna hate it so much.

after credits brainstorm

Nat: SO GET THIS Did John remember? Did John know that the boys are happy and he spends the last of his days thinking about how he could get rid of Michael? Giu: What what . Oh fuck I sure hope so Nat: He saw that the boys were happy, that Mary came back. That's all he wanted . That's why it wasn't hard for him to let go and make the deal. Zee: I soooooo don’t need this rn Giu: im on board. Because he said that he had the strangest dream right? So since their life are fucked up anyway , what hurt could it make to look that shit up? Nat: He will remember but it's more like a vivid dream and he will do anything to fight for them so that's why it wasn't hard for him at all to save Dean, even though he can't defeat YED. Because he knows that his boys will save the world.  And still live. with an angel and lucifer's child.

.

.I have no word , and no answer of how I’m feeling right now.

.

.

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