#//makes my only straight character gay by accident

[pookie-draws]

no context

[apdreadful]

Since the election I have deactivated some of my social media. Blocked some people I never should have ever engaged with to begin with, and unfollowed several accounts on IG that just don’t bring me joy.

And 911onabc was one.

Is it because Buck & Tommy didn’t end together? No. I’m a grown ass adult. I can be irritated by the something and not be dramatic or hateful about it.

It was because several storylines lately have been complete bullshit.

They start strong with solid good storytelling. But then..eh we’re bored. Only whatever we do absolutely can not make sense!

The lazy fucking way they wrote Christopher’s character out, and that weird ass doppelgänger storyline.

New season? Let’s start by putting Bobby and Athena through to some major disaster! Hey it worked last season! Let’s do it again! (Do not even get me started on that fucking drug cartel shit..what the hell even was that??)

We are only allowed to have one character or couple drama free at a time. And if we can’t come up with a plausible way to create discord or havoc, we’ll just do some stupid shit instead!

Spend several seasons showing the deep strong bond between Eddie and Christopher. Gavin’s family moves? Just make it something dumb..but fast! I know let’s have him get mad at his dad and ask to move in with his grandparents!! Never mind he’d never do that!

The amount of psychological trauma they have inflicted on Maddie. The near death experiences of Chimney. Jesus. Just what tf?

Hmmm. Karen and Hen..the fans would revolt if we broke them up. So let’s go after their kids!! And we can’t make it about them being gay! Let’s create this over the top villain Councilwoman Ortiz. Who’s the mother of that drunk coked up dude from the accident. Only we absolutely cannot have Hen or anyone defend what happened or shut that shit down by saying “Your son was a fucking menace and maybe if you hadn’t kept covering for him he would have gotten some fucking help and not caused an accident.” Also do not mention Hen was cleared of all wrong doing. Nope. Logic has no place here!

Ok so the fans have been clamoring for Buddie. But Eddie Diaz is straight. Period.

So hey! Let’s make Buck bisexual. And tell everyone we are getting him off the hamster wheel (because really, we’ve given him the emotional depth of a teaspoon for a while now)..And his love interest/boyfriend should be Tommy Kinard, who used to work at the 118, and we will invest time to give him a compelling backstory, and lay a ton of Easter eggs showing how richly we can mine this pairing and these characters.

And make them HAPPY for several episodes. Blissfully in love. And then totally out of the blue, let’s break them up. But the reason has to be complete bullshit, totally against character out of left field BULLSHIT. Like they should start out the episode great and about 80 percent in..wait! Let’s also make him the SAME Tommy Abbie from season one was engaged to before she started banging Buck! And then let’s make Tommy who is so into Buck it’s palpable, dump him because he’s afraid of getting his heart broken! Even though it’s one of the most tired, overdone, stupid tropes ever!!

Yeah. I don’t know WTF is going on in the writers room I would swear it’s like there’s this talented group of writers who start stories, and then they go out in Wilshire Blvd and ask some random person on the street to write the ending, but they have to do it, right there in the next 20 minutes.

No I am not going to stop watching 911 forever. I just don’t really want to see them on my IG. This last stunt, sparked only incredulity and scorn.

[thebirdsareafterme]

maxiel, galex, scaniel, brocedes!

OOOH OK I am ready.

Maxiel: makes sense, compels the FUCK out of me

I genuinely don’t think there’s been a ship that has compelled me like Maxiel. They make me so insane and I’ve spent the last 8 months of my life going up and down all 200ish AO3 pages in the tag like some kind of deranged possum, searching for more Maxiel content. They just make so much sense in my mind. You have Max, who has been taught his entire life that his only purpose in life is to win races, who is this angry, strung up little kid when he first joins F1…and then he meets Daniel, who is so kind and charismatic and has always been taught to enjoy the moment and the process of it all and just treats him with so much love even when he’s not winning or when he’s getting criticized by the media…and Max finally learns how to enjoy life outside of racing for the first time. Even outside of the general RPF scene of it all, the absolute pivotal Maxiel moments are so important and have so much significance in the grand scheme of the sport. Daniel leaving Red Bull because of Max (to an extent) which then caused a ripple effect on a whole bunch of people’s careers and ultimately led to the Horrors that we are currently living through, but at the end of the day, it’s about “If it can’t be me, I’m glad it’s him” and that fastest lap into “Thank you, Daniel.” Yeah, I could talk about them for DAYS if given the chance.

Galex: makes sense, compels me

They’re everythingggg to me. I love the childhood friends to lovers thing they have going on. The Galex lore is so interesting, like the throat infection incident, the collarbone biking accident, the whole thing about George being Alex’s hype man/personal photographer as a kid… underrated ship fr. They have the best chemistry and their sense of humour actually work so well together, and I NEED more content from them. I also CANNOT ship either of them with anyone else because it just does! Not! Work! In my head. They are each other’s ride or die and I love that for them.

Scaniel: makes sense, does not compel me

I love their friendship a lot and I think they have so much weird gay energy between them, but unfortunately my day one Daniel ship is still Maxiel. I think Scaniel has potential for growth, but unfortunately they do kinda give off besties to me. I will admit they have had some good, shippable moments, but Scotty just feels like a straight man in my mind. I think it’s just the DR effect (every man within a 5 mile radius falls in love with him) that drives this ship forward tbh.

Brocedes: makes sense, compels me A LOT

THIS is THE SHIP of all ships. The lore goes so hard and it’s so devastating to me. I’m a sucker for a good childhood friends to lovers to enemies storyline, so they are right up my alley. It’s just the most insane story that when I tried explaining it to my casual F1 fan friend, they asked me if it was from a movie and I was like NO! This is irl!!! The way that they have a 6 hour, 3 part YouTube docuseries about their relationship is crazy. No other ship has as much angst as them, and no one will ever come close to being them. It’s the way that they fundamentally are a part of each other’s careers and that you cannot mention one without the other, it’s the way that Nico talks about that era of his life and how he could only stomach their childhood favourite cereal on the weekend before cinching the championship, how he ruined his body and soul to beat Lewis and how his retirement changed Lewis’ whole outlook on the sport!!! And through it all, there is an awkward third-wheel in the form of either Daniel Ricciardo or Sebastian Vettel just smiling through the most disgusting vibes a room could ever have, which, in my opinion, adds to the whole drama of the ship. This ship has so much narrative and character and it is so so devastating to think about, I need to see or make a Brocedes movie before I die.

[buddierecs]

aly's favourite fic's

this is a list of my all time favourites buddie fics :) it will be a mixture of ratings. please check the rating/tags!

let's hear it for the boy by hattalove (anything by this author is incredible!!!!) "in which eddie attends a self-empowerment group for gbtq men to supplement his therapy, and is empowered to: forgive himself, say "i'm gay" to his own reflection in the mirror, accidentally adopt an adult, make fried rice, and tell his straight best friend that he's in love with him. not necessarily in that order." word count: 56k rating: teen and up audiences important tags: self-discovery, coming out, friends to lovers, pining, gay disaster!eddie diaz.

leave the light on (i'll be coming home) - highly highly recommend this!!!!! by: HMSLusitania "an accident on a call leaves buck with custody of chris after eddie is... missing presumed. while they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite eddie's parents' best efforts -- a john doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home." word count: 44k rating: mature important tags: presumed dead, grief, mourning, angst, amnesia, getting together a leaf falls on loneliness by: iimpossible_things "buck doesn’t think that if he were to say, “i’m in a bad place”, that anyone would turn him away. really, he doesn’t. the 118 has too many good, kind people for that. but every time he wants to open his mouth, to say something, to reach out to eddie or bobby or hen or chim, he hears eddie yelling, “you’re exhausting.” —you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting— so each day he does his job and he laughs and he jokes and he pretends he’s the care-free goofball he’s always been. And each day he packs away his bruises and his worries, takes them home to his empty loft with its quiet rooms, and licks his wounds in silence." word count: 11k rating: not rated important tags: angst, fluff, happy ending, orginal male character and i'm not good at winning fights anymore by: spaceprincessem "five times buck needs to feel eddie's heartbeat and the one time eddie needs to feel his" word count: 24k rating: teen and up audience important tags: 5+1 things, whump, protective!eddie diaz, getting together, soft boys in love, ptsd i know you're hurting (but so am i) by: justhockey "eddie understands better than maybe anyone else ever could, how it feels to have everything unravel in the palm of your hands. he knows frustration - he knows fury. he’s painfully familiar with that burning rage that crackles in the tips of your fingers, that makes your skin hot and chest tight, and makes you want to punch anyone that dares to even look at you. but that doesn’t give chim the right to lay a damn hand on buck" word count: 3.7k rating: not rated important tags: ptsd, feelings realisation, protective!eddie diaz, communication, 5x04 coda good pretender by: likeshipsonthesea "an au where buck broke up with taylor before 5b, ravi and buck become (actually platonic) friends with benefits, and ravi, eddie, and buck all go on a journey of self-discovery that ends with them all getting what they need" word count: 85k rating: explicit important tags: friends with benefits (buckandravi), casual sex, childhood tramua, healing, feelings realisation, jealous!eddie diaz, ptsd, love confessions, anal sex

the best life is the truth (my best mask is my face) by: letmetellyouaboutmyfeels the buckleys are celebrating their 50th anniversary, and maddie and buck are both expected to come. to take the heat off maddie, buck impulsively blurts out that he's seeing someone new. obviously, there's only one solution: bring eddie as his fake boyfriend, pretend to be in love with him, and survive the weekend with minimal bloodshed. no problem, except for the, uh. "pretend" part." word count: 43k rating: explicit important tags: fake dating, idiots to lovers, there was only one bed, eventual smut

tomorrow will always and forever now be today (tomorrow is our always and forver) by: withmeornotatall "eddie gets trapped in a time loop on the day buck marries natalia" word count: 43k rating: mature important tags: time loop, minor buck/natalia, heavy angst, eventual happy ending, weddings, love confessions winter prayer by: daisies_and_briars "when a work conflict prevents athena from accompanying bobby to minnesota for the ten year anniversary of his family dying, buck and may offer to go instead. over the course of the trip, they all learn more about each other, and bobby faces his grief." word count: 18k rating: general audiences important tags: road trip, family bonding, grief, healing, angst, bobby being a dad to may and buck, may and buck are siblings

what a heart can do by: bvckandeddie "in which buck becomes the guardian of the daughter he never knew he had. together, they discover what happiness truly means to them." word count: 128k rating: teen and up important tags: girldad!buck, slow burn, friends to co-parents to lovers, oblivious!evan buckley, therapy, light angst, emotional hurt/comfort

[emrysflame]

Now unless the author sees a character as trans or they want to write a trans story in a fic…then I hate when authors make a mlm or wlw ship, straight.

Now fanfics, you can write what you want. But is it just me or does it feel weird when coming across those fics. And it’s always the more “masculine” woman changed to a man or the more “feminine” man changed to a woman.

It’s even worse for me when the author ONLY writes female/male character A/character B. Like they will never write the gay/lesbian ship as gay or lesbian but only write them as they were straight. And that’s weird.

Even more worse in my opinion is when they hide the female/male tags in between others. Like the amount of times I’ve seen female Lucerys Velayeron/male Aemond Targaryen hidden in the tags, skipping over it by accident in some cases.

Like write what you want, read what you want. I just never understood wanting to write a gay/lesbian ship but writing it straight

[killcodesashes]

[QUICK RANT ABOUT QUEER REPRESENTATION IN TSAMS/TSBS SHOWS]

[As a genderfluid aroace person myself.]

TSAMS

Uh. I don't like it. Aroace Moon? Cool. Absolutely valid, we love him for that. Wasn't adressed much except in a few episodes which are pretty good, I liked the one where he rejects Foxy a lot!

But recently- g e e z. I understand wanting to bait people in with ships people want! Specifically KidsCove. Same in tmgafs! But the problem is that they do it not just to tease/mess around with the viewers in good fun, they genuinely seem to hate the shippers and actually want to make fun of them? Not just with kidscove but with any other ship that isn't canon. They don't even want to confirm Sun's sexuality, just constantly making it a gag that he has a bisexual flag in his room. Which as a queer person? It's just annoying. Just really annoying ? Please all we want is a confirmation or something? We want queer characters we can actually relate to. And we don't really get that :( Then New Moon came along and said it was possible he wasn't aroace. . . And then they never mentioned it again. So why mention it in the first place ? I don't think I would've minded it if he had just changed how much attraction he felt but was STILL aroace/on the aroace spectrum. As long as it was actually clarified. But they seemed eager to rush to his evil era so they didn't bother to close to any lose ends before hand, though I guess being aroace might've just not been as relevant.

On a bit of a side note- Ruin feels very gay coded. Very gay. There is no way he's straight T.T he's a villain but he's a zesty man and we absolutely adore him for that!!

That was probably an accident, though. Every theatre kid seems gay! /lhj

Just overall upsets me that the VAs seem to act offended by the mere idea of shipping characters? As if that's not a common/vital part of every fandom.

[OTHER SHOWS UNDER THE CUT]

TMGAFS

Upsets me that they can't clarify Puppets identity or pronouns? [Or maybe they have recently but I genuinely doubt it]

Because who are they meant to actually represent ?? It's probably just me but I wish it was more clear or something. I appreciate the VA for trying I do though, absolutely love that guy[Foxy’s VA, genuinely seems to just be a chill guy. And I think it's really cool that he actually does roles that could come off very cringe, voicing most of the cringe dimension characters +struggling with Puppets voice for the longest time.] I just wanna know if Puppet is a trans fem queen or trans masc slay or just trans ? But nothing seems to be clarified.

Again with KidsCove? Genuinely just annoying how they blatantly just do it to make fun of the people who ship them and get views from them.

Foxy seemed to have been gay before his memory loss. Or was at the very least interested in men to an extent. But since he began to be the main character of a show he suddenly only likes women?? S u s. They really keep insisting he's extremely straight and genuinely just annoys me that they erased him being interested in men [Proved he liked men in the episode he asked Moon out.]

. . .now. . . M o n t y. As a genderfluid person? I hate them and literally feel more represented and seen by cis characters from other shows. For the longest time Monty being genderfluid wasn't even adressed and was usually just brought up for plot reasons or something? And it pissed me of that every time they correct a character on Monty's pronouns.. they immediately go back to using he/him pronouns. I think the new fem body is pretty neat! Though I think it would've been more interesting for Monty to stay masc but ACTUALLY get their right pronouns used and their identity getting genuinely respected DESPITE of their appearance. But the body? It's genuinely completely fine! /gen I used to hate my body too and understand that the writers might've thought it might be easier for people if they just used a different body completely! But it annoys me that my gender representation comes in the form of M o n t y. The annoying character known for constantly hating on others and partially destroying their lives. Anyone can be genderfluid, yes. But when the representation is so little? I just wish it was at least a bit better or with a less hateable character.

TLAES

Lunar! Uh. Again can we just get clarification on his sexuality? Is he polyamorous? Bisexual? Omnisexual? Just any clarification please?

Gemini! I wish they were canon nonbinary. They're literally stars. Why did they have to be gendereddd. Also curious about their 'sexuality'? Will also likely never get clarification on it :/

OTHER SHOWS/SIDE NOTES

Roxanne is canon lesbian and so is Glamrock Chica! I'm so sorry but I forgot his name T~T I think it was Tiger Rock[??] Is also canonically gay! Glam Chica has a girlfriend! And I do think their relationship is pretty cute [from what I've seen] and overall wish I would finally get to watching the show a bit more! Funtime Foxy feels very queer to me? Not just because his design is pink but his overall characterization! He does have a girlfriend! But he seems to be comfortable in his own identity and presentation from what I've seen? At least, it seems to be more comfortable than some o t h e r characters. I feel more represented by Funtime Foxy and Lolbit than I ever felt represented by Monty. But that is a personal opinion!

I overall have just lost interest in all of the shows. I'm tired of being constantly disappointed and lead on. But I do wish I could watch more of the other shows since they seem to show more love and care towards their characters :)

CLOSING THOUGHTS!

It's just shows. Does any of this really matter? I think it matters when the shows are claiming to have good representation when they really don't. And they're allowing people who aren't queer/a part of the LGBTQIA+ community to feel like they have the right to shut real queer people down. I've seen so much acephobia and overall homophobia even in this community. A l o t in this community. I wish the writers would listen to ACTUAL QUEER PEOPLE!! I wish the VIEWERS listened to ACTUAL QUEER PEOPLE.

That's what I really want. I just want to be heard and represented.

I don't claim this community. I CAN'T claim a community who is constantly against us.

LISTEN TO QUEER VOICES.

[olderthannetfic]

re: 'coded' language (/post/752041382197248000/one-of-my-biggest-pet-peeves-with-coding-people).

Yeah, I see 'x-coded' language not only for things that should definitely be labeled 'headcanon' or 'interpretation', but also for things that are always actually straight up directly canon as shown in text, the character just didnt turn to the viewer and say 'im x thing'.

-coded is specifically for things that the writers both a- intended to invoke the aesthetic of a minority, and b-did not explicitly show. There is a connotation of it being used for ill (queercoding villains, for example), as well, but it can also be used to get past censors. It usually involves Stereotypes to get this across.

Him, from Power Puff Girls is a good example of a queer coded character. He dresses femininely, often speaks in falsetto, and is very flamboyant to evoke a gay man doing drag without making him explicitly a gay man doing drag. He is also a villain. This is to evoke a gay man for the purposes of highlighting being evil without actually showing a gay man.

Anakin Skywaker from Star Wars is not 'BPD coded'. Bold of you to assume George Lucas put that much thought into his writing decisions and research process(and I say this with love of the prequels), and there isnt nearly enough bad stereotypes even if the writers were not people who just did whatever. Him being as well representative as he is is an ACCIDENT. This is an interpretation of canon or a well supported headcanon.

Rin Tohsaka from Fate Stay Night is not 'Bisexual coded', she is just canonically bisexual. In the original VN she fucks another girl and likes it. She says 'I didnt know I swung that way' at one point. The good ending is a FFM polycule with her. Thats not even getting into whatever going on in the spinoffs. Just because she doesnt use the words in a very old as hell and dated VN doesnt make her not canon bi. Calling that coding cheapens what it actually is and saying coding doesnt make the whiny dudebros yell at you less for pointing out the truth. You pull up your sources and you put up your middle finger and you say the canon with your whole chest.

Coded is not for canon things where the characters just didnt say certain words out loud, its not for things that were almost certainly accidents, its for winknudge stereotype coded language stuff like making the villain talk in a 'gay voice' and wear leather, or making a young boy who doesnt talk and is only focused on trains and doesnt respond to social cues and Is Therefore Sick.

Put this damn word on the top shelf, my god.

--

[boozles]

QL Superlatives 2024 Part One: The Good Stuff

I don't even know if I'm doing this right, but not only do I love a good list, but a few people have tagged me to take part <3 I'm planning on doing a Part Two of stuff I wasn't too happy about, but for now let me ramble about my favourites!

Best Use Of Super Powers: Cherry Magic (Thai)

Oh, not Achi using his powers, but Karan taking full advantage of them. He didn't run away or get worried about his privacy being invaded, he just straight up loved that the love of his life could now have full 24/7 access to his thoughts.

Best Use of Sports Equipment: 4 Minutes

Well, what else are you going to do on a pool table?

Best Adaption Of A Manga That Already Has A Live Action Series But In A Different Language: My Love Mix-Up!

I loved this series! I thought Fourth and Gemini really pulled off their own interpretations of the characters, and it was so funny and cute. Fourth was hillarious, and I will not be standing for any slander, okay?!

Best Older Brother: Wei Qian, Unknown

They had a weird family dynamic but not only was Unknown a fantastic series, but Wei Qian's protectiveness was wonderful, if a little too much.

Best Mindfuck of a Series: Love for Love's Sake

For most of this series I was like OMG IT'S A GAME and the gamer in me was delighted then it was like WAIT A MINUTE THIS IS A GAME OF LIFE...IN DEATH! It's such a fantastic series, albeit bittersweet.

Best Tribute To 90s Movies: The Heart Killers

I wasn't going to include shows that are still airing in this list, but fuck it. When this scene happened I flipped because not only are we seeing a gay af version of 10 Things I Hate About You, but Jojo is throwing in other classic movies - you cannot tell me that Bison's religious shirts are not a reference to Baz Lurhmann's Romeo & Juliet. The Pulp Fiction dance tribute was perfect.

Best Surprise New Pairing: MarcPoon

I know we were all happy when this was announced because we didn't want to lose We Are, but I don't think anyone was expecting just how fantastic these two are together. Like, seriously.

Best BL That Isn't Actually An Official BL: Peaceful Property

Okay, I admit that High School Frenemy was a strong contender, but as P'Dome even said, it wasn't meant to be a BL but TayNew just have such chemistry that you can't help but believe it's more than friendship between Home and Peach. This show was gay af, and I loved it so much. Also, the bonus heartbreaking ForceBook was beautiful.

Best Character Redemption: Night, Last Twilight

Alright, I don't know if it's really 'redemption' because it seems like as soon as the accident happened Night really got his act together, but I feel like he worked so hard throughout the whole series to try and...not make up for his mistake, but to at least help. And THEN he falls in love with a girl and before she even gives birth he's already decided he's the daddy. Favourite character in the whole show.

Best Tofu Bodied Man: Achi, Cherry Magic (Thai)

They really tried to make New look smaller in this series, and it was so funny. He has such wide and muscly shoulders/arms and he is really the wrong person to put in a suit if you don't wanna show that off. The 'tofu' comment was hillarious - you could hear the collective guffaw from the audience world wide.

And that's it from me for now! I'll no doubt do a round up of my favourite shows for the year, but if I continue this list it's literally just going to be me going on about how Cherry Magic is the superior series XD I think it's probably been my favourite (yes, I know it started in 2023, but leave me be). I didn't watch a lot this year, I feel? Like, apparently I've only watched like 20 BLs this year, which isn't like me at all, but I've done a lot of rewatching? it's been an odd year, okay?

[simurghed]

taylor: repressedly bisexual but the repression itself is also repressed in that she subconsciously feels the way she thinks abt women is strange (bc she subconsciously feels / fears / believes that she herself is inherently strange) but justifies & then re-justifies it to herself every few weeks .. to everybody else this just looks like her glancing at lisa’s tits & then thousand-yard staring off into the distance for a solid five minutes .. wildbow made her a trans girl on accident (like he did w most beautiful & true things in worm) but nobody tell him because he does not deserve to know

brian: i do legitimately believe he is both straight & cis bc if he wasn’t he would palpably b much stranger abt manhood & masculinity than he already is in-text .. he has considered kissing a man at least once but figured after hefty deliberation that sort of thing just wasn’t for him .. however i do think cherish should have called him gay not bc he rly is but bc it would have made him pause & afterwards fall into a period of rumination & actually i think this is how his summer of the forest could have happened

lisa: in love w taylor in every sense of the phrase but i wouldn’t say “attraction” itself is a factor there / that love isn’t predicated on romance or attraction or what one might typically attribute to love .. sexuality isn’t something she herself would rly care to put labels on nor something i think has much merit here but for shorthand i would just call her an arospec / acespec / etc lesbian .. cis but i think the only value gender has to her is wrt its social connotations (in business & persona) .. if she woke up one day in magical boy universe i think she would just adapt & adjust but she would grieve the loss of being able to go “look at this sweet face! would this girl lie to u :(” when that girl is in fact lying to u

rachel: butch lesbian & it is embedded into every aspect of her character & i will never ever ever ever listen to that foul man’s words he doesn’t know her he doesn’t even know her he is nothing he is nothing he is nothing he is nothing he isn’t real he can’t hurt me he isn’t real he isn’t real & canada is an elaborate ploy by the first pioneers of the parahumans wordpress to account for worm’s esoteric undetermined origins

aisha: bisexual (for realsies apparently) but i don’t think it rly comes into play much other than as cudgel for her jests & japes bc she will b hung up on her best friend from when she was 13 until the day after she dies .. whether or not she was srs when she rated cherie fuck in fuck marry kill is up to u tho i do think she has a tendency to either dramatise or just completely make things up when talking abt her own attraction / preferences for eeshy reasons (see: asking defiant is the robot pussy was rly that good) .. gender is whatever she feels like in the moment

alec: i think i have to delegate to lakesbian here seeing as they r his professor / lawyer / doyen / ambassador .. my only thoughts on this matter r i don’t think u could even call him a hedonist sexuality-wise bc there is absolutely zero demonstration of him expressing attraction / engaging in any romantic or sexual pursuits based off sheer opportunity & desire for pleasure besides vague comments abt his sexual abuse as a child

[vanilla-phantoms]

Yes pretty please elaborate on the Jacobi playlist 👉👈

Alrightyyyy first of all here’s the playlist again for reference: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/42BTP8fMslWeuA1PUEpUz4?si=S9HDpDqiRcGLIgJsxr3OFw&pi=e-oHrrpdlEQmy6

Now here we go!

1. The Best Ever Death Metal Band in Denton by The Mountain Goats

We don’t know what exactly Jacobi wanted to do growing up, only that he didn’t want to be in the military. In my heart I want him to have some creative passions, for the contrast between creating and destroying things. The key lyric here is “if you punish a person for dreaming their dream, don’t expect them to thank or forgive you”.

2. No Place in Heaven by MIKA

I am making the headcanon decision that he grew up religious, partially for more gay family angst, and partially because later, when he isn’t religious anymore, he still has that thought pattern, the tendency to worship something. Someone will come along and tell him what to do, and he will love them for it.

This song though is all just internalized homophobia. I think Jacobi didn’t properly come out until he’d been away from home for a little while, and also probably realized he was gay a little later than he could’ve if he wasn’t repressing it. I don’t think his dad was homophobic TOWARDS him, just sort of homophobic in general in a way that meant he crushed those thoughts down when they started to pop up

3. God in Jeans by Ryan Beatty

Building off that last one, I think this is a good song for being gay and ex religious. And the beginnings of that idea I mentioned where you replace the spot that God used to fill in your life with a lover

"My love is my religion Preaching the choir Fueling the fire Oh my God, you know I need ya If I'm going to hell, I'm taking you with me I'm taking you with me"

4. Coming Clean by Green Day

I feel like my thought process is clear here, the pattern is taking shape. I do think he was older than 17 when he actually came out, and this is mostly about that, but it's also on here for when he was a bit younger and tried to join the airforce out of spite. A bit of a feeling here of realizing he will never ever be the person his dad wants him to be. I really like the line "found out what it takes to be a man" here.

5. South by Hippo Campus

this song never fails to make me emotional. Really I could've put it anywhere on this playlist if only for the line "I walk the same way my father told me, back straight and chest out just like a soldier", but this seemed like an appropriate place. Setting out and leaving home

6. Moderation by Florence and the Machine

We are still in headcanon zone here, but I think that Jacobi had a lot of short lived relationships that mostly ended because he got attached very quickly and was very intense, especially early on when he was still figuring himself out. So over time he developed a very nonchalant "I don't give a shit" attitude over top of his intense affections to try to tone it back, but it doesn't really work does it?

"Can't hold it back, I can't take the tension Oh, I'm trying to be good Want me to love you in moderation Well don't you know, I wish I could"

7. Play with Fire by Sam Tinnesz

Lot's of general vibes here, again I probably could've put this one anywhere, but I decided to put it here for a couple of reasons. First of all, I didn't want to put all of this type of song later because I think he was Like That before he joined the SI-5. Secondly, there's a bit of a sense of dread in this one that makes it good for when he is working for the air force right before the accident

8. Daniel, You're Still a Child by Declan McKenna

I love it when a song fits and also has a character's name in it. There's a lot of specifics in this song that I don't think necessarily fit, but the vibe of having made a huge mistake and disappointing your family is there. I think after the accident he probably just didn't go home because he didn't want to face them and tell them what had happened. He's very sensitive to feeling like a failure.

"Well Daniel, don't worry, you won't be missed You'll spend ten years in prison to pay for this Ah, is it all worthwhile? Daniel, you're still a child"

9. Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother

This song and the next are heavy on the vibe of "I break everything I touch no matter what I do". Think of these in the lead up to the mindset he's in in Things That Break Other Things. There is also the vibe of "If I'm always going to break things, I may as well do it on purpose". (Christ, how to get a character to go from broken up about the accidental deaths of two people to bombing hospitals)

"I made a wreck out of my hand I put it through the wall I made a fist and not a plan Call me a reckless wrecking ball"

10. Arsonist's Lullabye by Hozier

Serves much the same purpose as the previous song, but more depressing this time. It's not something he can get rid of or turn off. He's got this talent. It's how he is. If only he could find a better use for it.

"When I was 16, my senses fooled me Thought gasoline was on my clothes I knew that something would always rule me I knew the scent was mine alone

All you have is your fire And the place you need to reach Don't you ever tame your demons But always keep 'em on a leash"

11. Go to Sleep by the Avett Brothers

Not to linger so much in this depressing era, but this song and the next are for the mood on the anniversary. For trying your best to forget and failing. (Bolded my favorite lyrics for him here)

"Well I wish things were different, true, and deep But everything that's so shallow is everything about me You know they told me I could just take my money and leave I hope the people on the ground will understand I hope the people in the crowd will understand

Lay back, lay back, go to sleep my man Wipe the blood from you face and your hands Forgive yourself if you think that you can Go to sleep, go to sleep my man"

12. Clean Slate by The Mountain Goats

Same vibes as the last. Trying to escape it all. Highlight on this line:

"Remember at your peril, forget the ones you can

And then just when you think you've learned how to forget You learn it's just the ones who haven't risen to the surface yet"

13. Brother My Cup is Empty by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

We have reached Things That Break Other Things. This is the song that inspired me to make the playlist in the first place. I was listening to it and the vision was just so clear

"Brother, buy me one more drink I'll explain the nature of my pain Yes, let me tell you once again I am the captain of my pain

Brother, my cup is empty And I haven't got a penny For to buy no more whiskey I have to go home"

14. Hey, Little Songbird from Hadestown

The recruitment. This song is on my Kepler playlist for the same moment as well. I tried not to have there be too much overlap between playlists, but if there's going to be any connection it's going to be here. The song is even conveniently a duet. And I'm pretty proud of it as a pull

"Strange is the call of this strange man I wanna fly down and feed at his hand I want a nice soft place to land"

15. Fire by Barnes Courtney

Joining SI-5. I really like the selling your soul metaphor for working at Goddard, and I use it a few times on my Kepler playlist as well

"Sold my soul to the calling Sold my soul to a sweet melody Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone

Oh give me that fire Oh give me that fire Oh give me that fire Burn, burn, burn"

16. Search and Destroy by the Stooges

This is one that I think is very fitting overall and could be anywhere, so I thought I would just pepper it into his early Goddard years. He's getting in the groove of things.

17. Yes Sir, No Sir, by The Kinks

The beginning of the Kepler section of the playlist. This song is about the military but it's so horny and for what. I didn't want to jump right into him being obsessed, I wanted to show a bit of a build, so the first song in this section is still conceivably not romantically coded.

18. Wrapped Around Your Finger by the Police

This song is still conceivably not romantic but we are definitely ramping up to be more personal. This doesn't really work that well for this placement in the playlist, but another reason I really like the song for kepcobi in general is because of the role reversal at the end. So think of it as foreshadowing.

"Devil and the deep blue sea behind me Vanish in the air, you'll never find me I will turn your face to alabaster Then you'll find your servant is your master

You'll be wrapped around my finger"

19. Polaroid by Imagine Dragons

Here is where we make it romantic. Jacobi feels himself catching real feelings, but (as I mentioned headcanoning before) he's had a lot of failed relationships in the past. This song has a big "oh god here we go again" vibe. He knows it's a bad idea.

"All my life I've been living in the fast lane Can't slow down I'm a rollin' freight train One more time Gotta start all over Can't slow down I'm a lone red rover"

AND a special mention to the two lines in this song that mention a "you". Both of them fit pretty well for Kepler I think:

" you are the pay raise Always a touch out of view"

" you are the opera Always on time and in tune"

20. Step into My Office, Baby

Just the most classic "sleeping with my boss" song, and too funny not to include. I do not actually think this is how their relationship started (you can find more details on my thoughts about that on my Kepler playlist writeup), but this is enough indication for this playlist that it has in fact Started.

21. Cherubim by serpentwithfeet

Remember the thing I said earlier about being ex-religious leaving an empty space where worship used to be? Yeah. That. Also, service top Jacobi rights

22. Tear in Space (Airlock) by Glass Animals

So now they're together, and Jacobi is smart enough to know the dynamic is Not Good but doesn't care enough to end it. The vibes here are of pining for a deeper emotional connection while already sleeping together. This is a vibe I like a lot and a lot of songs on my kepcobi playlist are dedicated to it. And if you (hypothetical reader who is not the sender of this ask, because the sender of this ask is the author of this fic lollll) like that dynamic too, you should check out this fic series. Bonus points for this song having space references

"Sit in my blood, maybe too much Never enough I'm your dog, I'm on your floor All that you want But I like ya, like ya like you're (drugs)

You get all worked up Loving you, but it's not enough Loving you from the airlock of Your heart"

23. Catharsis by AlicebanD

There's some jealousy parts of this song that I don't think fit but aside from those, there's so many parts of this song that I could pick out that I think are just perfect for Jacobi @ Kepler. Here's a few:

"Like a dream, you fill me up And make me cold, just like a soldier Trains her mind to do the killing Even though he isn't willing"

"I want reciprocal lovers I want trust, and I want safety I want space, and I need chasing I want to feel that I'm the only girl Around you who can know you"

"Like a chain around an object that keeps moving You're a concept of a man and of an object"

24. Barbed Wire Love by Stiff Little Fingers

A song about a toxic romance that has bomb metaphors in it. This one isn't that deep but it had to be in here. It's also a bop

25. Dirty Work by AKLO

This song is mostly here for the title and also the vibes, but placed here to transition out of the Kepler section and back into general SI-5 stuff

26. Family by Mother Mother

This song is mainly here for Maxwell, but could apply to the whole team, as well as being about how I think Jacobi is very intense and very loyal in general and has a very strong sense of who His People are. I really wanted more Maxwell songs on here, but there's not nearly enough platonic love songs in the world. And the ones that I could find were way to cutesy in vibe and not intense enough.

"They might be crazy, but they is my family You can't get to them unless you get through me You fuck with them you fuck with me"

27. Raise Hell by Dorothy

This is in the same genre of destructive loose cannon songs as Search and Destroy and Play with Fire, but this one is a bit more fun. He LIKES working at the SI-5 a lot, especially when Maxwell is there. He likes to not take things too seriously.

28. Planetary (GO!) by My Chemical Romance

Yet another song like the last one, but in SPACE this time. We have hit the beginning of his appearance in cannon

29. Afraid by The Neighborhood

This one is very specific, and it's for Jacobi worrying about whether or not he's the alien clone or not

"When I wake up, I'm afraid Somebody else might take my place When I wake up, I'm afraid Somebody else might end up being me "

30. One More Light by Linkin Park

Maxwell's death. I still have yet to find a better song about grief than this.

"The reminders pull the floor from your feet In the kitchen, one more chair than you need oh And you're angry, and you should be, it's not fair Just 'cause you can't see it, doesn't mean it, isn't there"

31. Us and Them by Pink Floyd

After Maxwell's death, reckoning with his place in the hierarchy, starting to shift Kepler out of the "Us" category and into the "Them" category

32. The Handler by Muse

Kepcobi divorce era. Dirty work.

"I won't let you control my feelings anymore And I will no longer do as I am told And I am no longer afraid to walk alone Let me go Let me be I'm escaping from your grip You will never own me again"

33. In Search of by Miike Snow

Unfortunately he doesn't have time to think about or process all that once Cutter comes aboard. I like the sort of quiet intensity of this song for the endgame finale of it all. And also I think near the end he sort of starts thinking about how he can make up for it all, for knowingly being a terrible person, and helping defeat Cutter and Pryce is the first step in that

"Father put his foot down on my games Forever So in the marketplace I stay calm And clever

And we won't back down from anything In search of a remedy"

34. Mars by Sleeping At Last

The long trip back to earth. A long time to think and a lot to unpack.

""Lay your weapons down They're calling off the war On account of losing track Of what we're fighting for"

So we found our way back home Let our cuts and bruises heal While a brand-new war began One that no one else could feel"

35. Nobody Loves You Like Me by Jonathan Coulton

Home now. More grief. Having to grieve Maxwell while alone. I wish I could give him a happy ending in this one but I don't. My Kepler playlist is an au where Kepler lives, but that's not the case for this one

36. Kill All Your Friends by My Chemical Romance

Ironically, while the previous song reads more romantic and this one more platonic, I imagine the last one to be more about Maxwell and this one to be more about Kepler, but both of them are sort of here for both of them.

37. Fireworks by Mitski

What can I even say...

"One morning this sadness will fossilize And I will forget how to cry I'll keep going to work and you won't see a change Save perhaps a slight gray in my eye

...

And then one warm summer night I'll hear fireworks outside And I'll listen to the memories as they cry, cry, cry"

[paletigers]

Some Stardew Valley redesigns/reimaginings!! these pics were about a week apart from one another so theyre in two different styles lol

some explainations below the cut!

For Context: A lot of these headcanons are based off of my own personal lived experiences! They're also just my preferences for their characters in general. I have only romanced Sebastian in-game but looked at Alex's Wiki page for context on the background for his character. I don't really know much about him canon wise, I've only read fanfics with him in it LOL ANWAY!

Sebastian: -25 yrs old + Transman + Gay/MLM -I really liked how he had a motorcycle in-game but thought that there wasn't much to say about it, so I wanted to make it apart of his core as a character! He's a sport motorcyclist as a hobby. He loves high speed racing.

-He's still a programmer, but he's now a Game designer! This is mainly because my lovely boyfriend is a game designer irl and he's like my muse and I love cramming his traits into my favorite characters.

-He plays bass istead of keyboard in Sam's band. I dunno, I think keyboard is fun and all (i actually own two keyboards and played piano in hs) but like. cmon. Bass would suit him so much better.

-I gave him a battle jacket he wears over his normal hoodie. I feel like he has a couple of these from over the years that are DIY with his ever growing music taste. Battle jackets are such a staple in the alt music scene I felt like its a crime he doesn't have one in game. Sebastian you would love battle jackets.

-His motorcycle is a sportsbike instead of a standard/chopper. His helmet also resembles a cat, but definitely not on purpose! Definitely not.

-He has a LOT of scars. Some self inflicted (but he's recovering), others from surgery! He has top surgery scars designed to resemble spider webs, a phaloplasty skin graft scar on his left arm, and gnarly huge scars on his ribs down to his legs.

-He suffered a motorcycle accident resulting in his bike being damaged as well as giving him a limp. He's constantly fixing up his bike since then, wanting to ensure another wipe out won't happen again and that his bike is reall okay to ride again.

-HIS PIERCINNGNSSSSS he has a shit ton of piercings! Not shown, he has a Jacob's ladder piercing. :3c

-His personality doesn't really change much from in-game. I'd personally prefer if he was less bitchy and more just a rarely speaking type. The kind to keep his comments to himself. Bitching about your step sibling and your step dad gets stale, bro

Alex: (Sorry to any alex fans, I changed him a LOT)

-27 + Cismale + Closeted Bisexual

-An ex-pro hockey player (goalie). I don't really care for "gridball" since it's just a couple of sports mixed together (from my understanding) so I decided to just give him a real world sport to play. Plus, hockey just kind of suits him for some reason?? I dunno

-Moved back to Pelican town after the news of his Mother's condition worsening and his Father jumping ship. In my version, he got recruited straight out of highschool to go pro for hockey. He had reservations about leaving his Mother with his Dad, but decided it was the best solution to the shitty situation. This way, he'd have more money to help her medical costs since his Dad's insurance was shitty anyway. A few years go by with constant health updates from his Grandparents, when one day his Dad just calls it quits on caregiving, deciding he doesn't want to waste his life away caring for his wife, and leaves. Without physical support from his Father to help around the house and help his Mother, Alex makes the choice to move back home and become his Mother's caregiver. He struggles with the emotional weight of this job ontop of how extremely demanding it is, but does his best for his Mother. She dies, and now he's taking care of his Grandparents. -I really wanted him to be a caregiver to his grandparents because my family were caregivers to both my Mother and my Father's parents LOL we spent all 23 years of my life taking care of them, so i thought it would be fun to think about. I imagine Evelyn and George to be my grandparents and constantly give them their favorite gifts in-game. (mainly george. i love him) (hes not homophobic hes just OLD and STUPID i LOVE HIM !!!!!!)

-Alex is constantly worried he won't be the same after caregiving for this long. He's worried he won't be able to go back to pro-hockey without reliving the stress of his mother's death. He's been having trouble keeping asleep at night, often waking up every few hours and being completely restless. He'll decompress at the sauna at unbearable hours of the night just because he can't sleep.

-He's the town helper! I thought it would be cute if he's the guy the town usually went to if they needed serious physical help with something, like setting up festival decorations, fixing fenceposts, shit like that. He loves helping out the town and INSISTS sometimes to be the one to fix a problem. When the farmer first comes into town and starts being the more dependable one, he starts feeling hopeless and easily emotionally distant. It's hard being the one everyone depended on to suddenly not being needed anymore. (It's not all entirely in his head, but he gets really worked up sometimes about feeling useless)

-Still an arrogant little shit! Instead of dreams of stardom, it's kind of a "washed up" celebrity kind of arrogance. He thinks he's hot shit because he travelled the world playing games for a couple of years. This backfires in his face, he'll sometimes sit for too long on his "glory days" and spiral, getting depressed about not playing anymore and his role as a caregiver despite loving his grandparents immensely.

-This headcanon is just silly but i think he likes to fish. He's so arrogant that he thinks hes amazing at it but fish rarely bite his line and when they do, they drag him into the river or sand at the beach. It's even more embarrassing because he thinks he's fine and continues to fish despite having sand and dirt all over himself.

-He's covered in moles! I also gave him freckles in places where his skin sees the most sun. (He's also got chest hair bc yall know i love hair on a man LMAO)

anyway. Long post! My bad. I was thinking of writing some Stardew Valley fanfics while working on some other stuff bc I want to explore my versions of Alex and Seb, and also maybe they explore each others bodies???? Let me know if that's something you'd guys like to read/offer up suggestions!!!

[mxtxfanatic]

Now that I’m official done with my Mist reread, let's discuss Song Qinglan's "homophobia" and why the idea of trying to force someone out of the closet via "turning" them is actually not comedy. This is a long one, so more under the cut.

One of the very first descriptions of Song Qinglan (and Team 7) that we get from the novel is this:

Chief Lin’s expression was strange but, as expected of a leader who had seen much of the world, he was able to quickly recover: “That’s just right. You don’t have to worry about this. The captain surnamed Song is.......deeply homophobic. The team he leads......they’re all homophobic.”

—Chapt. 1: Beginning

Before we even meet the characters, this is a "known fact," and later, when we actually meet the characters, despite them all immediately being enamored with Ji Yushi and how intimate their interactions with each other are, they hold on to the "homophobic" label. Song Qinglan's "straightness to the point of homophobia" is even played for laughs by the narrative! It is only after the team bonds in the Ouroboros while facing death after death, together, does Li Chun say this:

“Hey, in fact our Cap Song is a pretty good person. That time when Old Yu’s accident happened, Cap Song did everything he could to carry him out of the desert and walked tens of kilometres with him on his back. Although a scout is considered a civilian job, they are sometimes required to be out in the field. After that accident, Cap Song had been blaming himself. He didn’t want you to come so he deliberately said those things. We are at most just a little straight but it’s not to the extent of being homopho——”

—Chapt. 19: Ouroboros

Song Qinglan only posited himself as "homophobic" in order to dissuade Ji Yushi from joining their team, in fear that he may be the next teammate injured. Sounds like a reasonable—if not dramatic— explanation for his actions. But why did others believe this? Again, avid gossiper Li Chun to the rescue:

“I heard he and Cap Song joined Tianqiong around the same time. When the two were students, they were both often put together as promising students and were known as the Double Lan Duo. Later, Lin Xinlan publicly pursued Cap Song and when he was ruthlessly turned down, he swore that he would definitely make him his. Cap Song was straight and had kept a distance from him since then, but Lin Xinlan continued to persistently chase after him. Not to mention giving him breakfast, he even waited for him after work and all that. There was one time when Cap Song wasn’t around, someone saw Lin Xinlan come out of Cap Song’s office with his clothes dishevelled. That pervert, who knows what he was secretly doing in Cap Song’s office for so long.....”

—Chapt. 32: Chaos

There we have it: Song Qinglan earned the label of "homophobic" after having a falling out with a gay ex-friend—a friend so close to him that their colleagues had dubbed them the "Double Lan Duo"��who seemingly crossed many boundaries in an attempt to pursue him romantically. What's strange about this, however, is that... everyone else seems to have a more negative reaction to the situation than Song Qinglan, himself. In fact, only Duan Wen would have been present when this situation happened, as the rest of the team are younger recruits and, thus, would have only learned of these events secondhand. When the situation is finally brought up to Song Qinglan, he is confused about how his dislike of his former friend had been progressed through the stories of others into "PTSD:"

He didn’t raise his head, “From the time he confessed to you which resulted in you developing PTSD?” PTSD? Who gave that mess a name like that? The timing and occasion wasn’t right. Song Qinglan didn’t know how to explain the matter, “.........”

—Chapt. 65: Rubik's Cube

So now we have established that Song Qinglan is not, in fact, homophobic and he does not, in fact, have a negative reaction to all gay men. The initial label came from his falling out with a former friend who confessed to him and then was purposefully exacerbated in order to dissuade Ji Yushi from joining Team 7 for their dangerous mission. Other than having some misconceptions (encouraged by petty Ji Yushi) about gay men, he is never violently or maliciously homophobic towards any gay character who appears in the novel, past or present.

Moving on, let's discuss my problems with how this "homophobia" arc is handled. The problem lies not in the fact that it exists but in 1) why the rumors start to begin with and 2) how the narrative treats it. And in order to break this down, we must address the character that serves as the locus for this entire conflict: Lin Xinlan. When we finally meet this character in person, this is how he is described:

Lin Xinlan was pretty good looking, and he gave of a rather refreshing vibe. In fact, he wasn’t the annoying type. No one would’ve thought that such a person would later become such a clingy spirit. What gave him the confidence that Song Qinglan would be bent?

—Chapt. 66: Rubik's Cube

Ji Yushi specifically notes that Lin Xinlan does not seem like the type to harass someone into liking them, not like someone to push boundaries at all. Then to add to that, we get these little tidbits from Lin Xinlan as he and Ji Yushi share a brief conversation:

Before Ji Yushi could speak, he added, “Sorry, I don’t know if you mind talking about sexual orientation.”

—Chapt. 69: Rubik's Cube

“Straight?” Lin Xinlan was a little surprised. He immediately commented, “That is indeed tricky. I would never touch a straight man.”

—Chapt. 70: Rubik's Cube

From these quotes, we learn three key things about Lin Xinlan: 1) he does not appear to be one to harass others into liking him, 2) he is respectful about others' sexualities, and 3) he does not pursue straight men. The real question is: are all of these things true? Well, yes and no:

“Fulfilled the bet?” Ji Yushi thought for a moment and then understood what he was referring to, “I thought you said you never touch straight men?” “It’s okay to give yourself a chance. At least I gave it a try.” Lin Xinlan shrugged, “Moreover, Cap Song....isn’t as straight as one would imagine.” Ji Yushi: “......How did you know?” Lin Xinlan thought he didn’t believe him. He leaned back against the railing and said slowly, “Just a feeling, I guess.” ... “Since Song Qinglan had that possibility and I also had a year to try, it didn’t hurt to give it a chance. How could there be fairness in matters like love?” Reaching this point, Lin Xinlan took out a dice from his pocket, “This was something he gave me when we were playing a game back when we were completing our training at training camp. After an argument, I wanted to give this back to him by putting it back on his desk but I accidentally knocked over his glass of water and this resulted in unpleasant rumours. I originally wanted to explain but from that encounter in Rubik’s Cube, it seems that he has already forgotten what this was.”

—Chapt. 79: Our Reality

Turns out, the first and last points are untrue, but not in the way that the story presents it. You see, while Lin Xinlan's actions were made out to be worse than he intended by their straight peers (a whole other topic), the harassment comes from the fact that Song Qinglan was not in a space to accept Lin Xinlan's advances, something Lin Xinlan did not take into account or respect because he had already substituted his own present-Song Qinglan who still considered himself "straight" with the future Song Qinglan who was in love with Ji Yushi. Thus, his use of his limited knowledge of the future to try to force Song Qinglan out the closet backfired on both him and Song Qinglan. If Lin Xinlan was that confident in his assessment that Song Qinglan was unknowingly queer and if he was truly genuine in caring for Song Qinglan as both a friend and a potential partner, then the right thing to do would have been for him to be a supportive pillar for his friend as Song Qinglan discovered his sexuality on his own, not try to force his realization by romantically pursuing him while he was nowhere near a space to be receptive. The relationship breakdown was not from Song Qinglan's "homophobia" but from Lin Xinlan's overconfidence eclipsing his respect for his friend.

All this to say, my problem lies not in the fact that the narrative ran with the "homophobia" misunderstanding, but that it labeled a unknowing queer character as "homophobic" for laughs while the reason behind the label actually makes him the victim in a way the story fails to explore. Song Qinglan is a fictional character so he can have as peaceful a coming out as the author wants him to have despite these circumstances, but for irl queer people, being forcefully outted or pressured into "accepting" your sexuality just because someone you trust wants to date you can be an unpleasant at best, traumatic at worst experience. It's a failure of the author to not have taken that into account when considering writing this particular plot choice.

[priscilla9993]

Tale of Coming of Age, Not Coming Out

Sometimes, Ouat gets it right, happy accident or intentional. With its history of queerbaiting (Mulan romantically tragic) and cash grab representation (Dorothy and Red underdeveloped), Once could have rehashed a bare bones version of “queer representation” with Robin and Alice’s love story. There was a likely chance considering Tiera was originally told she’d be slated for 3 eps, Rose for 5 eps, and their eventual characters’ storylines mainly played out in s7b. 

Now, I’m going to play the Devil’s Advocate and be like but wait, wasn’t Robin and Alice’s kiss in season 7 episode 10, the mid-season finale, a coming out moment, shocking to the audience that Robin and Alice were lgbtq?

Okay, you’re right, if you only watched the season or overheard at face value that the episode built up to two females aka Alice and Robin kissing as the Dark Curse loomed. However, coming out implies that initial assumption that the two are straight and happened to realize who they wanted to be romantically with, showing that to the world, family, or in this case, the audience. 

Author’s Note: Yes, while I do think any coming out story or queer representation is important, I feel that the media and Hollywood use that to pander with the bare minimum, doing what sells headlines, is dramatic, or can be easily pushed into the background. Sometimes, its inclusion is played out for laughs or as a flawed foil to put heterosexual ships on a pedestal. Ouat is no exception with its history and having two white attractive straight oriented blonde actresses play into an easily accessible trope of lesbian romance compared to the rarer gay/trans/non-binary category. That said, it’s a PG fairytale soap opera that aired domestically on Disney owned ABC and internationally elsewhere. Who needs reality to be the downer when we can live in a fluffy fantasy where love and hope is all that matters? Don’t get me started on the toxic fans or parts of the Ouat fandom. Rather than rioting a personal projected attack against a dislike, make verbalizing not liking something or a ship normal again. That out of the way, it may have taken 7 seasons to have a queer love story that’s taken seriously and might even be comparable to main ships, but it’s still something by having it canon and not end in ‘bury the gays’. I’m looking at you Supernatural. 

That said, into the rabbit hole we go!

Alice, since the start of her centric ep, 7x04 Beauty, winked and teased at Rumple by asking, “Are you looking for a prince?” regarding the ball and as Tilly mentioned to Weaver, “I had an ex-girlfriend who worked for [Victoria Belfrey] once.” Unless considered a blink and miss moment instead of casual on the nose comments, it’s clear Alice is queer or lesbian, cursed or not. 7x10 continues laying it on as Alice worries about her love, saying to Killian, her dad, “But Papa, if it happens, I will lose her.” He’s unfazed and responds with comfort, “Don’t say that, love, don’t! True love can win out over so much more.” Even though an act of true love has only been seen in Ouat as a magical solution to a curse when two people, familial or romantic, love each other and believe in magic, it can be taken here to validate and uplift that Alice and Robin’s love is strong enough to connect and endure. He also knows who to deliver her letter addressed ‘My Love’ to, without a mention of a name.

At the start of the episode 7x10, Robin worries and says, “If [the coven of the eight] are here, I have to warn-” to which Zelena, her mom, comforts her, “Don’t worry. Look, darling, we’ll warn everyone. We’ll protect our loved ones,” and tells Regina, “She’s got a case of young love.” Although Robin was a baby prior to s7 and we don’t get a clear look into her as a person before 7x10, it’s certain that Zelena knows who Robin wants to warn and is in love with, enough to nearly run aimlessly around the New Enchanted Forest for.

Assuming the audience is cued in on the love storyline, Robin looking for her love and Alice already explicitly hinting at her sexuality, their parents both supportive to them, the shock value should come from not their sexual orientation but rather who they're in love with. Instead of being reduced to their labels, Alice and Robin’s love story is about two people who come to know and love each other, their differing sexualities being an added bonus.

So, elephant in the room out of the way, where does the coming of age come in?

Well, in the characters’ growth and relatability as Alice and Robin both strive to be more than their past of summed up parts and the people they come from. TLDR: It’s all about finding their place in the world and discovering who they want to be rather than letting their past and others’ views define them.

Girl in the Tower vs Tower Girl

You could say it means the same thing, but like hear me out. Double meaning, Great Gatsby style. Was it intentional? In Ouat fashion, it usually is.

Taken literally, the first represents a girl that happens to be in a tower while the latter emphasizes how a tower is a characteristic of the girl. In context, when Robin first meets a spy lurking to watch a papa with a poisoned heart, she puts two and two together and curiously remarks to Alice, “Wow. So you’re the Girl in the Tower.” 

Just like how Alice is known for being in Wonderland, she’s also given names by strangers who know Killian, seen as “Nook’s kid” and the “Girl in the Tower”. Robin unintentionally gives away how interested she is in Alice, the referential girl in the phrase, caring about her enough to keep track of descriptive names and stories of someone she’s never met until then.

Despite being caged in Robin’s trap, Alice rebuttals uncomfortably, “I got out of that tower years ago.” 

The phrase also gives way to the way Alice thinks and feels about herself. She took notice of the ‘in’ bit, probably gravitating on the word ‘tower’, and wanted to clear the air. Alice defends and distances herself in term, separating away from any connection or fondness to the tower. By saying she got out of ‘that tower’, she claims she’s no longer trapped inside the tower and feigns indifference, as if it's a tower out of many instead of the home and her world before the Troll helped her escape.  

Later on, Robin nicknames Alice as Tower Girl, in fondness, awe, and sometimes disbelief at how Alice exists, seeing and going about the world as she does. Robin only says Alice’s name in moments of sensitivity and as a grounding basis, sarcasm and jokes out the window. To give a list of Robin’s usage of the nickname, it’s after Alice: claims the Troll is her friend instead of a monster flattening villages, is led by Robin through a humorous string of homonyms regarding riding a bug and having a whole life held in a smartphone, has differing views on goals, and tackles Robin upon her aim at the Troll. 

From the starting flashback in 7x14 to the Troll destroying the Tower in frustration, the tower is a part of Alice as much as she was a part of it. Being physically free of the tower wasn’t enough as it haunted her, either on the lips of others or how much she wanted her freedom to be the solution to making reality okay, happiness attainable. When Alice was trapped, she had hope that things were better outside and could be sheltered in the bubble of love her papa gave her. Alice was the girl in the tower, away from the judgement of society, unhurt by the reality outside her scope despite her imprisoned situation seeming bleak. 

Surprisingly, in the last time we hear “Tower Girl” being uttered in 7x14, it’s straight from Alice’s mouth after she says goodbye to the Troll in front of the tower, confronting the things she left behind and couldn’t be free of, coming to terms with her childhood and past. At the age of 18, Alice escaped the tower and ran away to multiple realms on tons of adventures to explore more while on her quest to find a cure. However, there was nowhere she wanted to be more than back home. In the end, she inadvertently did come home, say her honest truth, had someone by her side to hear her out, and realized that the tower didn’t have to be her enemy or her stopping point. By saying, “Goodbye, Tower Girl,” to the broken tower, we get the sense that she redefines herself as not one held back or prisoner to the tower, but one that keeps moving forward in spite of her original circumstances, staying true to herself.

Conforming to Expectations vs Accepting Themselves

Imagine growing up in a small town like Storybrooke where people are larger than life and everyone is intertwined with legends. If fairytales inspired joy, I doubt they did for Robin who had bigger shoes to fill than most. Robin Hood-Mills, daughter of the powerless Wicked Witch and the deceased Robin Hood who saved the world from a vengeful god. To be a powerful witch or leading archer? Both required skills and inadvertently influenced comparisons to be made.

Of course, although her mother had a lot of talent, Robin didn’t have much nor was she allowed to practice magic except in secret. Considering Zelena probably saw what power did to their family and her lack of magic to protect them both from danger, the forbidding of magic was an extreme safeguard. 

So, with small minded people in a school where everyone ages K-12 went, the deck was stacked against her. It wouldn’t be surprising if Robin was a goody two shoes initially, but learned that doesn’t build street cred or help make friends. If she was to survive school, Robin would have to fit in or stand out. And how did she do that with peer pressure and expectations to conform to? By pretending to be someone she’s not, becoming popular and cool. With that, Robin could make a name for herself, gaining attention and acceptance from her peers, leaning towards while stepping away from her parents’ shadows. 

What’s cool to high schoolers in Storybrooke might be being good at magic, making things look effortless, breaking rules, and not caring what anyone thinks. Thievery was frowned upon, but getting away with lockpicking, hotwiring, and stealing earned cool points and recognition in others. Robin might not have powerful magic, but in 7x11, she gets Regina to help her and her friends practice magic in the old vault via Cora’s spellbook. However, Robin doesn’t want to be popular per say; she wants to be accepted and loved for who she is, discover what she really wants with no pretenses.

If Storybrooke wasn’t the answer, anywhere else was. Throughout the season, Robin/Margot runs away to find and be themselves while longing to be home with supportive loved ones. In 7x11, Robin makes a potion to summon Mother Nature, which whisks her away to Gothel in another realm, claiming to have run away. Robin tells her mom upon shunning her away, “I am my own person, one you refuse to let me grow into,” and “I didn’t love magic. I just felt like I was supposed to… and there’s all these things I’m supposed to be good at,” after getting saved.  In 7x14, Robin admits to Alice that she hotwired and stole Emma’s yellow bug, to be away from Storybrooke and only getting away for “eight glorious minutes”.

By the end of 7x11, Robin has reconciled with Zelena; Robin trusts her mother’s good intentions while Zelena vows to support Robin on any endeavor. However, her journey hasn’t ended, even in the New Enchanted Forest. In 7x14, Robin vows to honor her father’s legacy by killing the Troll and becoming the villagers’ hero. She retreads all her mistakes in medieval fashion until she wants to defend Alice from the mob, realizing that protecting those who need it matters most to her and connects her to her dad. Making peace with her parents and her insecure self, Robin decides to forge her own path and be more honest. 

Margot has a similar arc of wanting to change and see change. While less of a jerk and more open to different viewpoints as a mature traveler compared to Robin, she regressed in terms of relationships with her mom, Kelly, and never feeling like she’s treated like an adult, being in the know as equals. In 7x10, Margot is mentioned to have had a job at the bar, a ticket to Amsterdam, turned away from college at Vassar, is currently in Phuket, and never coming back home out of her mom’s lack of coolness. Lots to unpack, but the point is Margot decides to come back after 7x11 when her mom calls saying she’s changed and wants to talk, only worrying about Margot’s safety. By 7x16, Margot fights with her mom, claiming that she left in the first place because they’ve “never been able to communicate”. Hurt, Margot spills, “I am done being patient with you. All I’ve ever done is wait for you to change. You know what? I never should have come back.” 

Margot hates the lies and sinking feeling inside that her mom doesn’t trust her or might be in trouble. She doesn’t give her mom a chance until Tilly suggests that Margot seems amazing and wise, but her mom might be not avoiding the truth for a good reason. They make up, Margot giving her mom a bit more time and eventually chooses to stay in Hyperion Heights regardless of anyone else’s life choices or opinions on her.

Either way, Robin and Alice go through their own arcs, dealing with things we can relate to: feeling alone or unheard, being left in the dark, craving acceptance, doubting self, running away from problems, and worrying about people’s perceptions. Luckily, both women find their way on what they want and who they want to be; they become individuals that grow and adapt to their environments while learning to stay true to themselves, accidentally falling in love during the process. 

[frjimdefroque]

you're constantly flip-flopping between being all scandalized n "ohhh you evil sinners i am a pure man of god dont say such sexual things to me wahhh!!!!" vs indulging the horny asks. figure it out, man

(to author: /lh, just bein silly :3)

I’m…not…horny…. I am just a God-loving man here to spread the gospel.

!!Author ranting ⬇️

!!I’m really bad at mixing his preacher side with his whore side. There’s no good mix of him for reference anywhere, the Jesus talk is Jim being a faithful guy and then the JHKM is just him going from preacher straight to crack addict.

I don’t want to ‘mischaracterize’ him by making him only spread the gospel here because it’s just not entertaining for you guys, but I don’t want to make him just horny because it’s not accurate to the character.

There are also not very many good examples of the faithful being horny in general when it’s not in secret.

And then you’d suspect him of being a homophobe and transphobe as well because that’s just the way it is for him I’d feel (preacher in Texas you know) but as someone who’s is very gay, it’s just uncomfortable. And then of course this is the Ghost fandom we’re in, we gotta be supportive 🫶🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

—So basically I don’t want to act homophobic because it’s just not the way I’d feel comfortable, but I don’t want to mischaracterize him so it’s really just me trying to avoid topics like that.

A summary, Jim’s just a hard character that we don’t have enough information about for us to be doing this. But I’ll try my best and hopefully improve, as Bob Ross said, “We don’t make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.” We’re learning from our mistakes over here lol

[rodolfoparras]

Let me know if you enjoyed the audio 😊 I listened to it and HAD to share it with someone 🙏 you were an easy victim

I also hate watching straight characters have sex 🧍‍♂️ it's so weird to me 😭 most of the time it's so irrelevant. I mute that shit and look away until they're done 👎👎

I don't read fem readers very often, maybe if the writing is well done and it's not heavily gendered. Sometimes I do by accident because no one tags anything correctly on here 🗣️‼️ my bf in a different fandom stumbles upon so much incest shit ⁉️ and it's just tagged as the ship and not y'know, incest. GROSS (it's the supernatural fandom)

But I do agree:( it's just big scary man who's an asshole and is overly rough to a weirdly innocent woman that's significantly younger than him, that it's basically pedophilic

Somehow Gaz is the only COD character to survive this and it's probably the blatant racism, and they instead paint him as the weirdly innocent character...

Soap is a mix between both, depending on who he's written with.

It's so sad😔 leave my gay men ALONE

Can't believe that one anon was mad at you for being a male writer when half the fem stuff is the same thing and sooo ooc.

-🐧

And i appreciate the rec and will def let you know my thoughts thank you sugar 🫶🏻🫶🏻

No bc I genuinely cringe at straight ppl kissing on screen😭 idk sometimes it feels weirdly timed like why are we kissing now or fucking now or they just show too much and I get uncomfortable 😭

Also they def have great writers within the fem reader fandom! But I rather not read fem reader pieces for price bc I know a piece of me will die reading how they wrote him😭THIS HAPPENED TO ME but hear me out the characters aren’t even family ?3?3 SO WHY ARE WE MAKING THEM FAMOLY

You know what now that you say it I will stay away from any and all cod x fem reader pieces I rather be oblivious to how they portray the characters than read the silly version of them

I feel that fem readers have attributes they like in a man and they just apply it to any male character and don’t get me wrong we all do it to some degree but while male reader authors add a sprinkle of that, fem reader authors make a whole mold out of their own likes and dislikes and dismiss the whole existing character arc

Right?3!3!3 hello to this day the straight girl in a gay club analogy makes absolutely no fucking sense

[lemonadehtwooh]

So… tell me about your mastersona?

OKAY so I forgot to add that there's five Master OCs, but Romeo is my specific Mastersona/current main character (this is for anyone who needs clarification). The other OCs are: Maple von Roth, Ishaan, Mary, and Chance Finnick

Under cut is backstory info up to how he joins Chaldea's organization of mages (a very long read)

So he comes from a VERY wealthy family, and he was the youngest child. I can't remember ATM how many siblings he has, but I think maybe he had four older sisters and two older brothers. Anyway, he was slightly babied in his childhood, but he never really turned out arrogant (however, he tends to think of himself as too arrogant or selfish due to self-deprecation RIP). His parents weren't very emotionally close to him or his siblings, and instead would replace their lack of presence with gifts and money. He also wasn't very close to his siblings due to him not meeting social expectations very well. He was always very clumsy/very accident prone, awkward, quiet, and noticably "different" in a "bad way" that would get him rejected. So he grew up very lonely and very people-pleasing. However, he really loves to study and read (which is VERY important to remember later) and is very smart academic-wise, which was the one thing that gave him some redemption in his family

Where he comes from isn't specified like the other Master OCs, however he canonically is Latino mixed and speaks Spanish, English, and learned Latin. As well, his family was VERY high class and had a lot of social influence. Adding on, Romeo is trans and was able to socially transition when he was a teenager and was able to medically transition when he was a legal adult very easily. He had some privilege, however that's probably the only time he used it for himself

Soon after his 18th birthday, Romeo was put into an arranged marriage with a girl he grew up around. Although the reasoning is currently vague, I would assume it was for both social and business reasons. His marriage was very loveless, and quickly his wife isolated him from the world and his family. She forbade him from getting a job (at this point now, he never had a job due to his focus on academics) and used him for the money he would receive from his parents. So she was financially abusive and possibly had both physically abused him and sexually coerced him (he, years later, realizes he's gay and was never attracted to women at all, which was why he didn't want anything to do with her in their marriage and why he didn't love her like that). He was very lonely in his marriage, and only found happiness in reading and studying

Eventually he catches her in the act of cheating without being noticed. So he writes a note that he's leaving, leaves her some money and their house, packs a few things, and straight up leaves. He goes VERY VERY VERY far away. The note he left? It was misinterpreted as a suicide note due to excessive apologizing for not being a good enough husband and his horrible way of wording things. He's pronounced dead, despite no body being found. Romeo never finds out about this

He gets his first job. And immediately loses it for accidentally, SOMEHOW, setting things on fire. And he absolutely SUCKS at getting and keeping jobs due to weird accidents, coincidences, and clumsiness. But he's trying SO hard. He wants to work, he wants to make his own money. He wants to have SOMETHING to be proud of

The money he took with him runs out, and he's kicked out of the apartment he was living in. He's homeless now, and proceeds to wander. Soon, the teleportation-in-his-sleep problem kicks up, and he finds himself in a new area every single day. Every day, he wanders and walks and travels with no real direction or purpose. He doesn't have anything but his books and the clothes on him. Years pass, he believes his memory is worsening as he forgets information about himself. He doesn't remember where he's from, his last name, or his age. He has memories, but they don't really matter anymore

One day, Romeo wakes up freezing. In my AU, Chaldea is still in the arctics, BUT there's a huge forest surrounding it as the magical energy radiating from it caused the area to grow wild plants and trees. Romeo manages to walk around a little, but collapses due to his already failing health and him starting to freeze to death

Now Fou comes in, a mix between Fou liking to explore the forest area outside of Chaldea and Fou being attracted by Romeo's sense of despair, hopelessness, yearning for a purpose, and envy of people better/stronger than him. Fou quickly takes a liking to Romeo (the reasoning for now is that Romeo offered Fou some food), piquing Merlin's interest as Fou demands for Romeo to be saved

Merlin sees Romeo's potential future and looses his shit laughing as Romeo becomes one of Chaldea's top mages. He thinks the idea of this pathetic, weak man becoming not only a mage, but a powerful one, is hilarious. He thinks making Chaldea deal with this man would be the funniest joke, but also would be interesting entertainment. So, using his hero creation ability, Merlin has Romeo healed up a bit so Fou can lead Romeo back to Chaldea

Romeo manages to accidentally teleport himself and Fou into Chaldea, and passes out due to the temperature difference and exhaustion

Shenanigans happen, in which Romeo is hidden from the main staff by Chance and her Servant Astolfo, and then Maple joining in as Chance's friend, and then ALMOST EVERYONE also hides Romeo from the main staff so he wouldn't be kicked out because he is just so darn friendly and knowledgeable and helps everyone so much (Romeo is just happy to be making friends)

Obviously, Romeo is found out due to the fact he was snuck into the library so he could read. And during one of these trips, he accidentally gets his foot stuck in a bucket and gets help from "A very pretty lady", aka Da Vinci, and then some stuff happens later and he gets registered as a Mage-in-training with the promise he would continue studying and would work hard to meet hard requirements

Okay, so back to the fact he grew up loving to read! He was born with magical abilities in a mage-based family/community, very specifically he is one of the "breathing and walking" people, however he never realized he was using magic nor did anyone tell him. He thought it was normal stuff. And the books he would read were infused with magic and had very old, unknown magic techniques written in them, and just in general fed him information about magic. Without him knowing it was magic. So he is VERY strong magically, however his lack of proper training and his area of magic being luck AND emotional based makes him weak. Adding on the information he read was unknown, aka an isolated or unused study, which makes it harder to train him because his strong suit is just. Unavailable other than the books he has on him. And his specific magic is so,,, unknown percentages of probability and can fluctuate so crazily just from the fact if he's having a bad day or not, that it's hard to tell if he's doing things right

Adding on, at first when Romeo works for Chaldea, he has no reason to do so other than having a place to stay and eat. It's survival. But later on, shortly before he summons Mr. Utterson, he realizes he wants to fight for humanity because of his friends. And that's where he finds his purpose