#//i've been dreaming a lot recently
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steeping myself in the night air and hoping these ideas will take
#just me hi#spinning spinning spinning#i'm in a sun-shiny mood but i'm also stuck hfvbhf#i started sketching a thing and then had to stop and now i can't start it up again hhhh#went out for a late run to the store cuz ma couldn't make salsa without some cilantro or the world would explode or something lol <3#also got ice cream!! i got drumsticks but gave most of them away hfhvf#and hey i actually kinda like this song a lot!! adding it to the Big Playlist lol :>#/i should draw more flowers#//i've been dreaming a lot recently#which is odd cuz i haven't done that very much this past year or any preceding#and it's like one night after another! so hmm#i can't remember what they're about tho#i dreamed about meeting a friend i think#and i dreamed about having an awkward conversation in an empty mall lol (vibes though)#and then i think i was in a very yellow place in another#but i don't remember much else lol :)#//i think i'll write later#it's so nice right now
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e.eiden. p.e rcentg.e.eitorkoom
wHY IS HE WET
#I've been asking that question a lot recently. and there is not yet an acceptable answer#why is he only wet UNDER his clothes?#is that red wine? or?? sir you can't drink on the job#it's.... it's pomegranate juice. diluted. something something however many bites of eiden you take#signifies the number of days in a year that you have to spend#organising aster's supply of blood bags in his underground labyrinth#sir I'm gonna have to ask you to stop looking like that#i shan't survive much longer in this mortal realm ✋️#divergent dream#nu carnival eiden
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i see a lot of opinions around, about death, and why she didn't intervene in dream's imprisonment
and i think a lot of people have trouble reconciling the idea that she does care about him, with the fact that she didn't do anything?
so then you get the theories that she couldn't have saved him (as if burgess was ever a match for the endless, he only got dream because dream was still recovering from burning out 99% of his power in overture), or that she was stuck by the rules of the endless not interfering with each other (that's a whole other convoluted discussion topic)
but i feel like these theories all kinda. misread, who death is. or rather, they sort of assume she's a human being with the same mentality as a human, and not the literal personification of death
of course she cares about her brother. and of course she technically had the power to intervene. but think about her existence. think about the way in which she knows everyone, the life she's lived for billions of years, and the life she knows she'll live until she's the last consciousness left in the universe
she's an inherently passive entity, she has to be. because her entire purpose is to stand there for the end of every life in existence, often horrific and violent and unfair ones, and to tell them that's just the way of things. to ensure that that fate does indeed come to pass. she knows how everyone is going to die and she just has to keep talking to them like she doesn't
when she was younger, it was different. granted, she refused to help dream then too, because (at least according to dream) all the endless were incredibly prideful when they were young, and wouldn't even have tried to help each other. but also, we have her word that at one point her job got overwhelming. the fact that she had to stand by and watch so much tragedy, to ensure it happened, really got to her. and for a while, she stopped. one of the few times if not the only time she has ever made a strong decision in the face of fate - she stopped collecting souls. and that turned out much worse. in order to exist as herself, she had to find a way to not only be okay with who she is, but find meaning in it. the person who would get involved, who would stand up against unfairness, that person cannot be death of the endless
and think about death as a concept, for a sec, not just as a person. death is patient. death will come for everyone in time, but time is meaningless to it. i like this panel, from endless nights, for connecting that with death the person, because she is always there and always waiting (in this story she waits here for anywhere between 10 and 200 years, depending on how you look at it. and she explains in this story that time doesn't really work the same to her as it does to everyone else. time is her father, after all. she can wait. she will always wait.)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e2f93c9506460790616df0611a855f99/30444f7c1ab18815-f3/s540x810/7d55594ae91b79fb821698410f3e3df9ad8c185d.jpg)
even when she takes human form, like we see in high cost of living, she is the epitome of go with the flow. she just follows where the universe takes her, doesn't try to change anything, just lets her curiosity and love for humanity put her in whatever situation fate decided she should be. and fate (whether that's her brother, the fates, or something else entirely) does play some role in it, because her human form was created with $10.02 in her pocket, which is the exact amount of money she ended up needing to spend that day. and she trusts that she won't need more than that, no matter how many questions are thrown at her about it
which is not an inherently bad thing! because living in the moment means she is so much more alive than her siblings, it gives her the ability to offer so much more empathy towards the mortals she has to spend most of her time with, it makes her in many ways a wonderful person. she's just, not a person of action
death doesn't show she cares by stopping the bad things from happening to you. she shows she cares by being there for you after. by having the patience, despite her busy job, to sit and chat with every single person who's ever lived, and to comfort them in the best way she knows how
which is exactly what she did
#i am very tired rn so hopefully this is coherent#but i've been thinking about this again a lot recently#like. that 'i know' to dream. it's the same way she talks to everyone else#100 years is really not long to her#and she probably knew he'd be okay eventually#or i mean. okay from that anyway#i do have a lot of thoughts about how this applies to the everything in the later story but that is for another post when i have more brain#death of the endless#dream of the endless#the sandman#meta#mine#(to be clear do not stop with the death saves dream aus those are fun to read for the sibling content)#(but yeah avenging angel not usually her style)
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9 lines 9 people
ok confession these games scare me bc tagging people still intimidates me but i'm being brave today here's some lines i wrote a while back from the dragons of kiltide. just fabin having a little teenage angst. also this is 9 (11 but shh the context!!) paragraphs bc i still don't know how to shut the fuck up. thank you @space-writes for the tag <3
the raedoran cycle
[Fabin] tilts his head, pressing his forehead to the window frame. “What are dreams like?” he asks quietly.
Emilia sits across from him, watching how his eyes stare through the window but see nothing. She thought he'd left that behind in the weeks and months after their parents were killed, thought the long silences were finally over. She tucks her arms against her sides. “They're...like memories. Only more vivid.”
His fingers close around the hilt of his sword. “What do you dream about?”
She rolls her shoulders. “Places I've never been. Things I've never seen.”
One of his hands presses against the glass. “Do you ever dream of...of humans?”
She studies him with a worried frown. “Is there something you want to talk about?”
He recoils, his expression twisting with anger before it closes off. “No. I'm fine. I don't have dreams.” He turns away from her. “Never mind.”
Emilia sighs. “I talked Muiris down. He doesn't want to kill you anymore.”
“Good for him.”
“You should apologize for breaking his foot.”
Fabin turns to face her again, his eyes wide. “I actually broke it?”
tagging @oh-no-another-idea @zmwrites @akindofmagictoo @writinglyra @k--havok @lyssa-ink @aether-wasteland-s @ink-flavored @avrablake to share 9 (or more or less or however many you feel like!) lines of writing <3
#oh fabin......who are you dreaming about??#could it be.......a pair of grey-eyed sisters..........and a man in a purple cloak...............and a cottage at the edge of the forest???#no obviously it's none of these things. he doesn't have dreams dragons don't have dreams!!#emilia does but that's because she's /weird/ and has that whole red moon thing going for her. fabin is a NORMAL dragon#who has NORMAL feeling about humans. obviously#writeblr#writeblr community#tag game#original fiction#fantasy novel#the raedoran cycle#dragons#fabin#emilia#muiris#(pronounced like “more-eece”)#rb original#fabin dropped a cart of wheat on muiris's foot. muriris is his mentor the local miller and is a grumpy asshole himself#he's the one who gives fabin his sword and teaches him how to use it. this scene takes place about three years after that#anyway one of the reasons i've been struggling with dragons is because the plot is not super action heavy--it's rlly more an emotional dram#it's about two siblings grappling with the aftermath of an ethnic cleansing/massacre that they survived#but not before witnessing their parents' murder#and it hits close to home in a lot of ways that (esp recently) make it very hard to write#but slowly i am getting my head and heart around the plot#(sort of) unrelated but i remember coming up with keelan's general backstory in mid 2023 and then at the end of the year being completely#unable to work on the first chapter of lacuna at all because i would break down crying anytime i tried to put the massacre to words#realizing that's why dragons has been so hard for me is. difficult. because the story feels even more important now. but g-d at what cost
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HONAKI PART 2 CHAPTER 3 SPOILERS
I hate gay people I hate gay people so much.
#it's. not. even. /j anymore.#for most of Part 2 I've kinda just been coasting because#(like a lot of recent HI3 story it seems) some of the details leave me a little lost#and so I wasn't particularly invested until after the dream ended#and AFTER THE DREAM I was more-so '???? What the fuck is going on??????'-invested than anything else#but THIS struck me with a force comparable to that of a supernova blast 'cause I just WASN'T EXPECTING IT#OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGH#the central idea of:#“What right do YOU have to choose to live if your death is the only key to saving an entire world?”#ooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuughhhh and for Songque to be so ensnared in the mindset that she can't change it#THAT SHE DOESN'T HAVE A RIGHT!!! TO WANT ! IT TO CHANGE#oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhh I'm gonna be sick#I hate gay people#I hate HOYOVERSE gays#Thelema Nutriscu I know what you are#Thelema Honkai Impact 3rd I will pummel you into the ground#blazingshitpost#blazingshitpost honkai edition#Honkai Impact 3rd#Honkai Impact 3rd Part 2#HI3#HI3 Part 2#HI3 Part 2 Chapter 3
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Okay, so this is based on the vague memories of a dream I had.
Basically, this new villain is trying to pull an All Stars Memories and de-age all of the Precure. Unfortunately, they underestimate just how many Cures there are and is quickly driven off, but not before turning the Doki Doki, Hugtto, and Hirogaru Precure into little kids. And somehow, I haven't quite figured out the specifics, Ellee is now locked in her teenage form, Hugtan is back to being her original age, and Ai has suddenly grown up. They confidently say that they'll take care of the de-aged Cures while the rest go looking for the person responsible, but the trio quickly realize that Hagumi is the only one with any idea of what she's doing. And even then, that's not saying much.
The little Cures aren't all the same age, either. Ageha's about six or seven, Tsubasa, Aguri, and Emiru are all about two, and everyone else is somewhere in between.
#precure#pretty cure#i thought about adding the mahoutsukai precure but ha-chan actually grew up over the course of the first half of the season#unlike ellee who just gets the power to temporarily grow up#so despite being that season's magic baby she doesn't fit the premise as well as the others do#oh geez how many kids did i just saddle them with? thirteen? fourteen? oof#they wouldn't be completely on their own though#yoyo and harry would help out#i've been having a lot of vague precure dreams recently#i know i had one about cure ace? and another about homare? i don't really remember what happened in either though#i think aguri had a crush on someone? i might be mixing that up with a different dream ngl#the weird part is that this is only happening *after* i got caught up on everything? and not *during* my rewatch?
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my fav pets from cs :) [please zoom in . pl ease]
[designs belong to chickensmoothie]
#qkdraws#id in alt#i know this isn't gonna get a lot of notes so reminder: reblogs r very appreciated#chicken smoothie#bit of an oddball here !#if anybody doesn't know what chicken smoothie is;#it's a fun little pet-collecting site :) u adopt little sillies n trade them with other users. it's nice#i've been on cs since 2013 and have thankfully collected some of my dream pets in the process :]#the velociraptor's name is valon and i love him dearly#the cool lookin purple wolf is a shima longtail and her name is mal :)#when i first joined cs she had been my dreamie for Years#and when i finally got her i was like . the happiest 12 year old in existence#anyway i still love her very much . i cherish her she'll prolly always be my fav#the pumpkin pie with a face on it IS indeed a pet#i got him very recently actually . he was also a dreamie#and i gave my trading partner like . my entire stock of rares that i had saved up over the course of my 10ish years of playing#as well as like . C$1000+#basically sold my soul for that guy GVEYAIGV#idk why i like him so much he's just . so thoughtless and silly#the other three wolves at the top aren't particularly rare or in demand i just like them#the grey one with the blue accessories and the floating crown is shilao . he is gentle and silly#the one next to him w the scarf is ren . he is jaded and withdrawn but shilao brings him out of his shell etc etc#they sit right next to each other in my pet groups and i have labeled them ''GAY LOVERS'' . bc they ARE#and the cool glowing one is just a staff pet that looked badass i love him#anyway apologies for the random doodles of a game but im assuming not many people know of#i just enjoy them :)
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so @the-one-who-have-no-idea tagged me in a spotify music sharing post and frankly i don't use spotify but I can hit shuffle on my phone and share the first ten songs (i recognize that this is supposed to be about songs that you've been playing on repeat but i just don't do that. either i play my whole playlist or a genre or an album. rarely i'll play a new song i found often but not more than like twice a day)
1: dirty rotten bastards by green day
2: first high in the morning by against me
3: star twinkle OP
4: if music could talk by the clash
5: picketline song by evan green (feat anne feeney)
6: animal by the dollyrots
7: party x party by splasoda (selection project)
8: the disco before the breakdown by against me
9: me case con un heroe by anne feeney
10: dance the seance (I love you) by las kellies
not tagging anyone. unless you wanna be tagged, then i can come back and edit this
#as a general thing for bands that i've been listening to recently i've been listening to dream wife a lot also a bit of harley poe#also local news legend and cheap dirty horse#and for anime music typically whatever has aired recently but also a lot of girls band cry and jellyfish cant swim in the night#but i guess you can see in general lots of punk and folk music#i also listen to lots of classic rock
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ranking billy joel album covers (what i think are his main albums, maybe it's not what everyone thinks are his main albums? i dunno) from my least favorite to my favorite
piano man: yeah this is the only one where i actively go grr when i look at it. like i dunno man the void and how his face looks, i just can't get behind it. no thank you
the nylon curtain: when i was younger i always liked this one cus i thought it looked like a book cover, or rather i liked that it looked like a book cover. but yeah, eh
an innocent man: i dunno this one is just boring to me lol, like yep he sure is sitting on those steps
river of dreams: no it's a cool drawing and all, i'm not really sure what it is about it that it's just like something's off about it for me
cold spring harbor: while i definitely think it gives off the vibes of the album, i dunno it's just not super visually interesting to me. and honestly he looks so different here and that always throws me off too lol
the bridge: nothing wrong with it, i just can't really connect to whatever's going on here and yeah i can see the vibes but not very clearly. and i don't think the banner at the top looks very nice
52nd street: huge jump up here honestly lol. yeah i really like this one, i like the composition, i like how he's holding a trumpet (right? i know nothing about instruments actually lol), i like his blue outfit and how dirty it looks lol. i think this cover does a good job at making him look a little pathetic but like, in a cool way
streetlife serenade: it's so pretty!! i love this, i don't have any issues with it it just can't compete with the ones above it, for me personally
storm front: man i just love it, the red is great and the gray and black are so great, yeah i can't really explain it
the stranger: so cool man, like the gradients of black and white and gray are so pretty and it's just a really neat composition. it's wonderful, i guess i just feel a little stronger about the two above it. originally though i had storm front above this but yeah this one deserves to be in the top three over that one
glass houses: oh man oh man, i love this one, like i just love how he takes up the whole composition vertically and there's still so much visual interest in the rest of it but it's not too much, at least for me. and obviously how the album is glass houses and it's a glass house and he's holding a rock and you may be right (the first song) starts with a sound like glass breaking!!!! like cmon
turnstiles: not really sure if i can explain it but this is just the best one to me, i think the colors are so great and it's cool with all these people and it's just a great composition. and i like how the text looks, which like usually for these either i don't like it or i'm just neutral on it, so that's a plus. yeah i just love this album cover, i dunno
and if you've read all this you should go contact your representatives about calling for a ceasefire! and find some pro-Palestine posts to share and interact with!
#billy joel#cold spring harbor#piano man#streetlife serenade#turnstiles#the stranger#52nd street#glass houses#the nylon curtain#innocent man#the bridge#storm front#river of dreams#that's the chronological order of the albums right lol?#right now i can't compare with my ranking of the albums cus i've only listened to river of dreams and the nylon curtain once#and that was a long time ago#but recently i've been listening a lot to the first 6 albums and getting myself more familiar with 52nd street in particular#and streetlife serenade and piano man cus i'd listened to them plenty but most of the songs hadn't really stuck with me#so anyway pretty soon i'll be going to the last 6 albums and familiarizing myself with the nylon curtain and river of dreams#and more with the bridge too lol#so maybe when i'm confident with my full album ranking i'll reblog this and compare lol
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hm.
#i've been having a lot of marriage-related dreams (sleeping + daydreams) recently#to the point where ive fallen back into the habit of reaching over to twist at the non-existent ring on my finger and feeling saddened-#and also somewhat embarrassed -#when i feel there's nothing there#so now i'm wondering if i should buy a cheap ring for myself on my birthday#so that at the very least i don't look as ridiculous doing that#strike.txt
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Had a dream last night where I went in small "Japanese street stall office" and there was business woman with other worker. This woman was clearly the boss so I sat down with her and she gave me a bill. The price was 600 euros. I got horrified, almost sobbing, as I told her in defeat I've no such money. I can't pay it.
She looked at the other female worker with a kind, knowing smile, taking the bill in her hands. She said something like: "Well, then "oops!" will happen to it." I asked what she means. Still smiling, she ripped the bill in half, saying: "'oops!' means it vanished, that it never existed."
I burst into tears against her desk, crying in relief. She "undid" the bill just to help me! Not only that but she also hired me there and then, instantly giving me 3 weeks off with 1600€ / month salary! No taxes taken from it either! I couldn't believe it! I was so happy and grateful, not able to stop crying.
#text#dream#neis dream#what do you mean I've been worrying about money A LOT recently!? :'D#but this dream seems assuring#that I honestly don't need to worry#everything will work out#28.8.2024#all is well
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My dog has been having senior moments, such as randomly forgetting what she's doing or trying to walk into a street, and I've been calling her "Mr. President" when it happens.
Like, "No, Mr. President, we can't walk into oncoming traffic. That's how we get killed!"
#it makes me sad that she's so old. and it's only in the past couple months that she's been doing this.#she's still overall very physically healthy. we go on walks almost every day and as long as she wants to.#and she eats well and takes vitamins and her teeth are kept clean and her claws trimmed and her coat clean#but she's slipping a little mentally#she's 11 which is old as hell for a dog her size. the vet said golden retriever mixes (which is what i assume she is) usually live to 10.#and she's not even started going white too much. just around her snoot and a little on her paws.#so when i take her in the vet always assumes she's like 6#but I've had this crusty old lady since shortly before i was even legally an adult#and I'm scared for when she does die because my other dog dying damn near made me commit suicide#and like I've said. I've had her a lot longer.#if she were a person she'd be going into middle school. like.#and she's had her share of weird health things. she's had a thyroid issue since she was 4. she has a weird skin condition.#she's had a couple surgeries and has scars from being attacked by random dogs (not my fault. she's well trained)#she's fallen a couple times recently but the vet says that's normal for her age#she went blind then wasn't blind and is going blind again#her hearing is starting to get shit too#I'm just so worried about her. this dog is a person to me. she's more real than my family in my mind.#and my cat is cool and all. but she's not a people. she's just a cat.#i guess the best i can hope for her is she lives the rest of her life comfortably and can die peacefully in her sleep#i think I'd completely come unglued from reality if i lost another dog to surprise everything cancer#but that's what I'm most scared of#because it came on so quickly and no one caught it despite me being that person who takes their dogs to the vet over a cough#she's sleeping right now and making goofy ass dog dream sounds. and i know i won't hear that any more sometime soon.#dog#old dog#senior dog#clio#joe biden mention
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Hey again, it's time for another poll! I want to add more variety to this account (hence my last post)!!
#My cat didnt post this prematurely this time!#yay#poll#sfw interaction only#sfw agere#agere#age regression#sfw littlespace#age dreaming#babyre#Help#I feel like I've been posting a lot of polls recently#but they're very helpful!!
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<3
#been thinking a lot about how whenever i have a dream or an idea marinating in my brain for long enough it then becomes something that i am#determined to pursue. and that no one can really dissuade me from#it simply becomes a permanent part of my creative direction in life#i guess you could say that's kind of the same thing as having a special interest but not QUITE#like for example. what i'm thinking of right now is my desire to start a band#and i come up with a lot of crazy ideas on a day to day basis but a good amount of them end up being simply fleeting or dictated by my mood#the ones that stay though... those are the one that actually HAPPEN#i've wanted to sing in a band for at least a year now#to be honest it's probably been longer but it's been at least a year of me being consciously aware of it#and it just made me realize. this desire has stuck around in my brain for quite a while now#and i think that means it is going to happen someday#i don't know exactly how yet because the way i originally thought it might happen (me going to music college) didn't work out#but it's been a year and i'm still thinking about it and keeping my eyes open in case i meet the right people to make music with#i know from experience that when i put my mind to something i WILL get it done#in the sense that i will surprise myself with how stubborn i can be when it comes to not stopping chasing my dreams#and i've had big goals in the past that i did achieve because of this#i'm also like. surprisingly adaptable??? i only recently learned that about myself but i be pulling Plan B's out of my sleeves#so that's all to say -- i'm choosing to believe that i will start my band someday and it will be better than i can imagine right now#and in general i'm choosing to believe that the things i truly love and truly want in my life will only become more clear over time#even if i'm confused and lost at times NOW... if i keep moving forward in time it will all make sense#and a lot of times situations do work out exactly the way they were meant to but in the most unexpected of ways#i don't know how coherent this all was but yeah#starting a band is only the most recent example#belle speaks
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my sibling just tripped and i said 'god bless you ?????' like they sneezed or something ??
#just me hi#??? hfvbshf#i thought i was saying 'are you good?' but nope hfvbhsf#though i dunno why but i Do sometimes say god bless you to loud noises loll#//anyway oh my lllooroddssss why is sleep so awful bhvfsh#i sleep for six hours and i'm still kinda tired but that's it that's the Peak#if i sleep for any longer i think i start to decompose or something fffffhhdvc#like this SUCKS man whyyy hvfbs#also it's Extra Dumb because i'll start dreaming and just never wake up bc i HAVE to stay. for the Plot#cool tho bc i Did get to the end of my dream last night which is quite rare so !! :D#i do not remember it tho. but i am still satisfied about it lol :>#/but really sleeping is just Awful fvsh#and i have Tried to fix my sleeping schedule but ouaaghhfff it's a fight out here lmaoo#cuz i end up Storing energy until late at night and then i'm up until 4 a.m. again and oops there it goes again !#i dunno hfh#i'm having hardware problems that are exacerbated by the software that's all i know lol :)#//anywayyy so i've been tryna work on that little lore book (slow work cuz the sleep got worse recently HrghB) and i got stopped short @#chapter 2 bc i don't think i have a lot on the gods ??#okay wait yeah i think i do#i just started going for a sec in the tags i think i do actually#i just gotta. uhhh reformat some stuff lmao :3#so be back perhaps !!! oooo [<- ghost noise]
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had another dream where i was in edinburgh yay
#in case you're new here#i sometimes dream these little snippets that then actually happen and i get fake déjà-vu a lot#and recently a lot of those dream snippets have been in a place that looks A LOT like edinburgh#it's only a few seconds at a time mixed in with random dreams so it can be a bit difficult to remember all of them#but yeah it's mad how often i get a ''wait i've seen this in a dream a few weeks ago''
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