#//hes in a mood az im sORRY | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

starlightazriel · 3 months ago

Text

bee 9

series desc: modern best friends > lovers (fem reader) tattoo artist az

warnings: 18+, az acting crazy and toxic haha, arguing/angst, just the beginning of the groveling, simp behavior hahaha, drug/alcohol addiction, reader struggling, heart break, time jumps, aa, depression mess, az is literally falling apart at the seams, don't expect good decisions from reader lol she's hurting that's all ima say

a/n: wow I know I ain't shit this took me so long I'm sorry angst central too ik

wc: 3.8k

other parts can be found on my az masterlist <3

nine

"Say the word Bee, I'll knock on his door and knock him out." His jaw was tight, eyes dark with the desire to inflict pain. Real pain, sometimes that side of Azriel scared me, these days it would only make my panties wet.

"Im fine Az," I wiped tears from my face with the back of my sleeve, my chest tightened slightly at his willingness to put himself at risk for my naivety. "Hes not worth it anyway," I added, trying desperately to swallow the lump in my throat.

"Well that youre right about. Tried to tell you he didnt deserve you," he pauses, his face looking displeased. There's a moment of silence and it made me wish I had the courage to fill it with my feelings for him. "Please stop looking so sad though. Bings will help," he smirks, trying the only way he knew how to lighten the mood, he held up his bong, already freshly packed. I sighed softly, letting a small smile tug at the corner of my lips despite the ache I felt in my chest.

"Yeah they might," I smirk a little bit, and take the bong from him, taking one of my little baby hits, I shove the bong back in his direction, coughing obnoxiously despite the small hit. Normally he would make fun of me, I figured he was sparing me the embarrassment in light of the current situation.

"I can kick his ass," he repeats and I just shake my head at him. I didn't doubt it either— when it came to me, Az didn't have any limits. He would go down swinging for me, no matter who it was.

Thinking back on that memory... It made me feel sick, that now he was the one to hurt me.

I had made the mistake of trusting Azriel too much. I knew better. I knew he wasn't ready for this and still I let myself live in some little fantasy world for weeks. And now... Now I was dealing with the consequences.

My heart was shattered.

Incomparable to my insignificant couple of break ups in the past... This was so much worse.

Az... My Az. Maybe not my Az after all.

He clearly couldn't even handle a relationship.

Or maybe... The alternative made my stomach sink.

Maybe he knew the entire time that he was moving and he was just passing the time until he did? Az wouldn't do that... Would he?

You can know someone forever... As soon as there are drugs involved... Well, nothing is guaranteed.

It seemed to be just as hard for me to admit that he had a problem than it was for him. I hated it, but this pain— it made me see things more clearly, see him more clearly.

I couldn't bring myself to block him. I did have to turn my phone off for a while because not picking up was just becoming hard. 39 missed face time calls, 12 missed regular calls, and a handful of text messages that I was leaving on read.

baby please just talk to me

i'm so sorry shit was so fucking stupid

please come home

bee i swear i'll come over there and drag you out of that house by your hair

you know i didnt mean that

im sorry

i need you bee, don't shut me out

just talk to me

i'll stop drinking so much i'll do whatever please just fucking talk to me

cass is a fucking idiot nothing happened i swear baby i didn't fuck anyone.

The messages were spaced out minutes between some, hours between others. I couldn't help myself when I typed out a reply to the last one.

how do you know you didn't fuck anyone? do you even remember? You were getting your fucking grind on with a random ass bottle girl. or maybe she wasn't random lol who fucking knows with you. and you had your face in tits Az. Tits. WERE TOUCHING YOUR CHEEKS. AND YOU WERE SMILING LIKE YOU LOVED EVERY FUCKING SECOND. AND I BET YOU DID CUS YOU LOOKED HIGH OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND.

It was only seconds before he read it and was typing.

i didn't fuck anyone. i only want you. i'm just a dumbass. bro please do not do this shit to me. i will do ANYTHING to make this up to you that's on literally everything.

And another one.

you don't have a choice anyway and i swear if i catch you outside with any of these mother fuckers yo youre both done

And another.

its not a threat its a warning don't play with me

I groaned in frustration and tossed my phone to the side. It was all so... Exhausting. My chest quite literally hurt. And the audacity, please don't do this to him?

He did this to us.

And why the fuck did he think he owned me? I hated that it made my heart flutter— bottle girls, titties, Vegas. I reminded myself.

Sick.

I had confessed everything to my mom the first day I had came back to my parents house, which in hindsight I wished I hadn't. Knowing me... I would be back in Azriels bed within days of being back, my cheeks burned at the thought. No matter what he did, it didn't change the way I now knew how he could make me feel.

She had always loved Az, since day one... He had practically been a part of our family at one point, joining our family dinners every night, even my dad and him had a certain respect for each other. 'Some people are just better off as friends,' was my mom's response to the whole ordeal. Maybe she was right, but I didn't like it, not now.

How could we go back to that?

Was it possible to go back to that?

The stress, the heaviness of my heart... I couldn't stop myself from swiping a cig from my dad's secret stash in the garage. I was now sat on the rocking chair on my parent's front porch, debating on what I was going to do when I returned home. I had to go soon, it had already been weeks now I was starting to dip into my old wardrobe.

I had been commuting to class even though it was much farther than Azriel's apartment. I just didn't know what to say when I saw him. I didn't even know how to bring up the fact that I knew he was moving. Did he plan on telling me? What had been his plan for my living situation if he didnt have the apartment anymore? Had he even thought about it?

"So you're smoking now?" his voice causes me to jump, my heart nearly leaping from my chest as my head snaps to Azriel who's standing there, one hand shoved in his pocket other hand gripping a small bouquet of flowers. Scarred fingers against delicate stems, my cheeks turned pink remembering what he had done to me with those fingers. That feeling soon turned to anger remembering what he else he had done, he's frozen now, maybe half way up the stone path leading to my parents front door.

"Jesus Az what the fuck?" I breathed out, exhaling a shaky breath, my tone laced with a venom I had never used with him before. "You scared the fuck out of me, what are you even doing here?"

"You know what I'm doing here," his voice is soft but slightly strained, my stomach twists at the pain I can feel, radiating off of him. I didnt know how he did that, he was always able to change the air around me— like I was so hyper aware of him that I could sense his feelings.

"Az-"

"I love you," he cuts me off, my breath hitches, his cheeks are slightly pink, hand still shoved into his pocket. I set the burning cigarette down on the can beside me, I tried to swallow the lump forming in my throat.

So long.

I had waited to hear those words for so fucking long. And now, here, under these circumstances— it didnt feel how I imagined it would. It didnt feel how it was supposed to.

"I love you too Azriel you know I do but I-"

"But what? You dont want me because Im so fucked up right?" His voice drops slightly, his throat bobbing and I noticed his grip tighten on the bouquet in his hand. His face was soft— pained, and my heart cracked again, remembering that boy so many years ago bruised and bloody with that same heartbroken face of betrayal, and now I had done that to him. "Im sorry, Im so fucking sorry please—"

"I didn't say that," I mumbled, my heart felt like it was bleeding in my chest, like there would be nothing left once he walked away. He didn't dare to step closer. "I just- I need some time Az," I mumbled softly and he closed his eyes for a minute before tugging at his hair, huffing out a frustrated breath. He looked like he would get down on his knees for me, like he would beg me if I asked him to.

"I know what that means Bee," he huffs out another small breath, his face slowly contorting into that hard cold stare I knew him to hide behind. "Anyway," he breaths out, looking away from me. "I'm going to change your mind, we—" he struggles again before giving up, I could see his eyes were bloodshot as he got closer, dark circles prominently underlining them. "Here," he finally says, he shoves the bouquet in my hand, there was an envelope taped to the side of it with my name on it.

"I'm coming home soon Az," I mumble, though, I didn't even know if I was ready for the conversation the two of us would be having. "I told you we could talk then," I add and he sighs, stepping back off of the porch.

"I'll see you soon then," he muttered softly and just shrugged his shoulders, I could tell he wanted to run to me... He wanted to wrap me in his arms and kiss me. He wanted to strangle me also— I could see that too, that deep rooted need for control, to make me see things his way. I couldn't blame him— it stemmed from years of physical abuse, traumas I would never truly be able to understand.

"Go home Az. Goodnight, thank you, for the flowers," is the last thing I say before walking back inside shutting the door behind me, in his face. I didnt watch him walk away, that short conversation had been painful enough. I put the flowers in some water and tore open the mini envelope despite how angry I was with him.... Seeing him, made me crave him so much more.

'I could lose every single thing I have in this world but I can't lose you. I miss you. Please stop shutting me out. I can't take much more of this Bee.'

His handwriting was rushed— desperate messy scrawl, guilt twisted in my gut. I couldn't help it... I had nothing to feel guilty about and yet... Imagining him alone, needing me, missing me... Enough to buy flowers and scribble out a little note. More than I'd ever seen him do for any other woman.

I couldn't fall for it.

My chest tightened and tears welled up in my eyes. Why did he have to fuck everything up? It had been so perfect. Leave it to a fucking man to ruin everything.

Azriel swallowed the bile that rose in his throat as he stared blankly in front of him at all of the faces looking back at him. His palms were sweaty, ears hot with embarrassment and he couldn't stop tapping his foot. He had opted not to get up and stand at the front, feeling much more secure in his seat toward the back of the room.

"Hi, uh, my name is Azriel, I'm twenty five, and Im um— Im an alcoholic," it was the first time he'd ever said it out loud, it tasted horrible on his tongue. "I've um I've been addicted to drinking alcohol probably for about ten years- Got me into other- shit and I'm here today because I fell in love with my best friend and um- I don't want to lose her. Never tried to quit drinking before— never really believed I had a problem but— yeah, here I am," his voice had gotten quieter as he finished and he realized he was rambling. His cheeks burned, he hated all the eyes on him, hated that he was the center of attention. And he was craving a line, bad.

His introduction was followed by many 'Hi Azriels,' which only made him feel more uncomfortable. They tried to make him feel welcome, tried to relate to him— get him to open up. He thought he might explode but he listened though. He listened to each and every persons story that shared. And when it was over the leader gave him a small white chip, service, unity, recovery. A pledge to a new beginning, toward sobriety.

He sighed and shoved it into his pocket, he was sitting on the step now, to go coffee cup in his hand, black obviously. Isn't that what recovering alcoholics did? Drink black coffee and smoke cigarettes?

"Can I bum one?" a male voice asks and next thing he knows he's sitting down next to him, he was a bit older, maybe 40.

"Sure," he mutters and pulls a cigarette from the pack and extends it to him, he recognized him from inside the meeting.

"It's Max, if you didn't catch it in there."

"Azriel," he mumbles, looking straight ahead at the cars passing by. He didn't know how to feel. He didn't want to get sober. But he needed Bee. He couldn't lose her, after getting a taste? He couldn't handle not having her again. He swallowed the lump in his throat.

"You need a sponsor?" he asks, raising an eyebrow, Azriel shrugs, the new sobriety coin felt like it was burning a hole in his pocket. The anxiousness... The insatiable desire to rid himself of any of his uncomfortable feelings by doing a line and buying a bottle... How the hell was he supposed to stay sane?

"You going to be my sponsor?"

"First things first, don't wear a cocaine vile around your neck to an AA meeting."

I was quiet, careful when I slowly pushed open the door to Azriels apartment, my apartment too, I guess. Not for long.

It didn't feel like home anymore— the sickening feeling that twisted in my gut as I took a step inside. It was quiet, he wasn't home... Fucking filthy. There was pizza boxes and take out containers, ash everywhere, multiple ash trays made from various things, there were unfinished cigs and blunts everywhere that made it smell awfully of cigarettes and stale weed. Cocaine residue and half crushed pills were out on the coffee table like it was normal. I swallowed thickly, a soft breath leaving my lips I knew I shouldn't feel guilty, shouldn't feel bad that he obviously wasn't okay... But I did, I just left him. Never, never had I ever done that to Azriel. I was the one constant in his life, the one person who was always there. Ever since that day in front of my house all those years ago.

Titties, bottle girls, moving to Vegas. I reminded myself, my stomach turned again. So angry. Fucking idiot.

I entered the kitchen for a glass of water, needing something to calm that sick feeling. The bile that rose in my throat that felt like I was about to hurl everything I ate for the past three days. I thought better of it quickly, before I consumed anything from this rancid kitchen I would need to deep clean and disinfect.

Dirty dishes in the sink, the dishwasher hanging open half loaded still with clean dishes like he had just been taking them from there and hadn't bothered to put anything away, empty liquor bottles overflowing from the small recycling bin, more take out containers, a bong tipped over, the foul smelling water from it still dripping off of the counter, a small puddle of brownish water collected on the white tile.

What the fuck?

My room was the only room that didnt smell like bong water and cigarettes, but still, he had been in here. Maybe even slept in here. Papers covered the floor, not just papers but drawings. There were drawings of me everywhere. Just me, me naked, him and I together, kissing, fucking, our hands intertwined— there were even drawings of us when we were younger. A little messy, like he had been pressing down so hard— drawing with such emotion that he kept breaking his utensil of choice that day.

I let out a soft sob, my hand flying to cover my mouth.

Fuck.

Kat. I needed Kat.

I tried to swallow the growing lump in my throat again and pulled my phone out to check her location. Of course she was at the shop.

"Hey," the bells chime softly as I walk into the shop, there was no one in the waiting room besides Kat and she looked up from her phone, our eyes locking.

"Heyyy baby," she greets, flashing me a smile that soon turns into a frown, her eyebrows drawing together. "Are you good?"

"No," I loosed a shaky breath, advancing to the counter, I leaned against it like I had so many times, but my chest was fucking aching. It was so fucking infuriating that nothing felt the same, nowhere felt the same. I guessed this was what heart break really felt like, seeing the world in every color one day and then black and white the next. "Is he here?" I dropped my voice lower, playing with one of the knick knacks on the desk to distract myself.

"No, he left a while ago, didnt say where he was going," she's still frowning, the worried look still plastered on her face.

"The house Kat?" I paused, making a face. "It's fucking disgusting, I don't understand how hes living like that," my harsh words could have only been brought on by anger, she softens, her look turning more sympathetic which annoys me only, I ignore it.

"He hasn't been the best at work either— snapping on everyone, late every day and fucked up," she lets out a small sigh, "Rhys is fucking pissed," she pulls her lip between her teeth.

"Fuck Rhys, honestly," I mutter quietly, she raises an eyebrow in response but I only ignore it. Of course, none of this was his fault, but still Vegas. Why fucking Vegas? "It's my turn to get fucked up, anyway, that's why I'm here I bought a bottle to pregame, just needed my bitch and one of her miniskirts," my words are met with a grin.

"Babes you know I got you."

I hadn't been drunk in a while, so to say the least I was enjoying myself. The pounding of the music, talking to strangers, dancing with Kat. I had needed all of this.

To slip out of my mind for a few hours and just let go.

Kat was definitely enjoying herself now too, and was dancing with some tall sexy man she had just met. I was keeping to myself for the most part, on the edge of the dance floor, swaying my hips to the music as I surveyed the scene with a fuzzy mind.

My mouth popped open in slight surprise and when I felt curiosity instead of the desire to leave immediately, I knew I had drank too much. There was Eris, in all his jewelry and expensive clothes, looking poised and composed as always. Long pale ringed fingers wrapped around a glass of amber liquid. I hadn't seen him since the night we shared.

"You ghosted me princess."

"I had other things going on— and I didnt finish," I smile boredly, not meeting his gaze, it must have been the liquor making me so bold, he scoffs slightly his eyebrows raising in surprise.

"Let me buy you a drink then, to make up for it, must have been an off day for me," he inquires, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction that my body was basically broken with anyone except for Azriel, I would let him believe it was his fault. His ego could be taken down a peg, anyway.

"I have one already," I raise it up slightly, smirking as I swirl the liquid around in the cup.

"Not anymore," in a swift motion he takes the glass from my hand and dumps the drink in a near by plant, a fake plant. I squeaked, looking around to see if anyone else had witnessed it.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? It's fake and you just filled it with liquor and juice! Have you even heard of a fruit fly?" I demanded, swaying a bit on my feet, liquor buzzing through my veins. If anyone did that at my bar, I scoffed slightly at the thought staring him down judgmentally for his utter carelessness.

"It's fake, so the liquor won't kill it," he flashed me his insufferable sexy grin before adding "there's wins and losses to every decision we make," his eyes flashed and I stopped for a moment, weighing those words.

No, I can't get caught up in this. I had to figure out what was going on with Azriel and I. "And now you don't have a drink and I get to buy you one, so I win, Im not really concerned nor do I care about any of the losses. Besides, I only ever come here looking for you, so I don't care if they get fruit flies." That cocky smirk he wore, the way he carried himself... He did look good. That piercing gaze, the confidence that radiated off of him along with his expensive dizzying cologne.

I remembered what Az had said about him 'theres a lot of people that would kill him in this city' hearing his words echo in my head, knowing how much he hated that I'd been with Eris... I swallowed, my cheeks turning pink.

Az didnt care when he was fucked up, when he was smushing his face between those two bottle girls titties he didnt think about me at home— waiting for him.

So I wouldn't care now.

I didnt think about him, I didnt think about what it would do to him when I wrapped my fingers up into Eris expensive shirt and yanked his tall frame down to me.

"Wins and losses you say?" I whisper before pressing a kiss to his lips.

a/n: cliffhangerrr only time and comments will tell if yalll are mad about this drama HAHA sorry I had to drag the groveling out into multiple parts Az WILL be on his KNEES in the near future

taglist <3: @smalljasper289 @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @scorpioriesling @userxs-blog @lilah-asteria @abadfantasybook @judeduartewannbe @lindsayscottagebythesea @velarisdusk @serxndipity-ipity-blog @julesvanslutta @honk4emoboyz @bookishbishhh @dakotali @blessthepizzaman @scooobies

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#acotar #azriel smut #acotar fanfiction #azriel fanfic #acotar fic #acotar smut #azriel fic #azriel spymaster #azriel fluff #azriel fan fiction #azriel shadowsinger #azriel au #azriel acotar #azriel x reader

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redheadspark · 11 months ago

Note

Hello! I am a creeper who LOVES your work! I have had this idea for an Az fic, but as I am not a writer, I cannot do it justic!

So its an Azriel x Reader. They both have a thing for each other but obvi neither know about it, but the whole Inner circle know . So the inner circle are having fun and some shenanigans happen, and somebody asks the reader about the person that she likes. Reader gets flustered, Az gets ✨jealous✨ and says screw it and kisses the reader. Im talking the kind of kiss that makes you forget everything and your brain melt. Lots of fluff, some angst because they are silly and maybe some smut at the end? 😎😎😎

Youre incredible!

Happy New Year!

A/N - HOORAY! I am so sorry for writing this BEYOND late, I'm battling a sinus infection and was in no mood to write when I was hurting, but I finally finished it and I hope you like it!

Intertwined

Warnings - Fluff with a some smut towards the end, so 18+ for this one!

“Okay, now that we have the presents out of the way, I think we should move onto a hot topic,”

“And what would that be?”

“A certain person’s love life,”

You saw several pairs of eyes looking over at you as you were mid-sip with your glass of wine. It suddenly felt like you were the topic of conversation, much to your dismay as you slowly lowered your wine glass down and stared at the others that were gazing at you. As if you weren’t in on the joke. Perhaps you weren’t, and clutching your wine glass a bit too tightly you looked to your right to see Nesta grinning at you.

“Nesta…..what’s going on?” You asked her tentatively as she linked arms with you.

“Nothing at all,” She replied smoothly as she gave you her signature smirk, “We are just inquiring about your personal life since you never tell us, your friends and found family, anything about your love life,”

Of course, this was not how the night was going to go. It was the Annual Winter Solstice Party amongst the Inner Circle in Velaris, the second one you have been a part of since you were the newest member of the Inner Circle. Nesta became fast friends with you when she walked into your little bookstore, striking up a conversation with you about new books that caught her attention.

You showed her a few titles, and you two have been friends ever since.

After Nesta came her mate Cassian, the suave and yet kind Commander of the Illyrian Army. He was dragged in by his mate, amused at the sight of Nesta almost sprinting to the New Arrivals section and he hung back and started a conversation with you. You liked his attitude, the calm to Nesta’s storm, the sun to her moodiness, and he almost seemed like a lovable younger brother to you.

Not too long after that, you were surprised to see Nesta again, but she was not alone. She brought along both the High Lord and the High Lady of Night Court. It never occurred to you that she was sisters with High Lady Feyre, to which you were beyond entranced to meet her. Feyre was beyond kind, wishing to find art books and some other novels for her. High Lord Rhsyand was more curious about the historical novels you had, along with adventurous fiction pieces to help him pass the time.

You gave him a great recommendation, and your life was forever changed.

Rhysand hired you to help fill his personal library with books from the bookstore, paying you handsomely for your assistance and recommendations. You were shocked to see the mass sum he placed in your hands, to which you were able to not only get more books for the store but to get a bigger apartment for yourself since you were living in a cramped hole in the hall. After stocking his library with novels and volumes in every genre that he could ever want, Rhysand kept you in the Inner Circle. Being alone for some time and having to survive with no one to lean on, it felt surreal to have a new family.

A support system, and lifelong friends, it overwhelmed your heart tenfold.

Nesta brought you around the first Winter Solstice party with the Inner Circle, you were wearing a modest yet captivating dress. You were beyond nervous to meet the rest of her friends, but Nesta reassured you that you were going to mesh well with the group. So when you and Nesta walked in together and you saw the rest of the guests, you felt so small compared to the rest of the beings there.

Especially with Azriel, the Illyrian Spymaster.

He took your breath away from the moment you saw him perched by the fireplace. He cool demeanor contrasted with the roaring fire, the brooding stare he had on his face, and even the small licks of shadows that were hovering against his body and his wings that were tucked tight against his backside. Nesta spoke plenty about him and his duties for Night Court, Being the Spymaster of Rhysand and seeking out information from other courts. To anyone else, he would be intimidating and almost frightening to gaze at.

But not to you, you weren’t frightened at all.

Nesta introduced you two, walking you over to him and saying your name to him. He simply stared at you, you seeing the bright hazel eyes he had brightening from the cracking fire as he held out his hand for you to shake. You took it instantly, feeling the warmth of his hand and the scars that were etched along his skin as well.

“Pleasure to see you,” He said to you, his voice deep and soothing like a balm against a fresh wound. It felt it along your own skin, the tremor of his tone and how he was gazing at you with both intrigue and interest. You couldn’t help but smile, something inside of you told you not to be afraid of him. No matter that he could be a killer or someone who brings torture. That’s not what you felt in that moment shaking his hand, and you always relied on your intuition in the past.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you too,” You said to him, and you saw him smile. It was the most beautiful smile you have ever seen from another being in your life.

Since then, you have been taken by him. The way he walked into a room and was cool and collected, how he would conduct himself in conversation and with the others in the Inner Circle. Although you never saw with your own eyes how he would conduct himself in meetings or during his missions, you knew he was someone not to be trifled with. But then again, anytime you two were in the same room, he showed none of those.

He was introverted at best, willing to watch from a distance as the rest of the group would joke and chit-chat. But he was also consistent in his opinions and banter with Rhysand and Cassian, showing the long relationship he has had with them. You admired it all the more, seeing the love they shared for one another, not to mention the kindness that was laced with his stubbornness and determination.

Something drew you to him, like a moth to a flame, wishing to discover him more and more as you two became friends over time. He never minded talking with you, wishing to know more about your knowledge of books and history and even coming to your shop every once in awhile to purchase something for himself. He looked over very book that intrigued him, taking his time with the purchase that he wanted to do. It showed that he was not going to waste his time in anything he did, he took precision and never jumped to chance.

Another trait that drew you in more with Azriel was his attention to detail. He could analyze a person for a certain amount of time and get more information about them than anyone else can do. It was a true gift, one you wish you had since his ability was more advanced. He knew the precise information to give to Rhysand, the right paints to gift Feyre for her birthday, even the exact number of soldiers to tell Cassian in one of their Illryain training sessions. It was his way in showing that he cared for the other person, listening to them and picking up and what they would say in passing.

He did that with you one time in the summer, hearing you talk with Mor about a broken window pane at the shop and some creaking floorboards that were on the verge of snapping. You were mostly venting to her, knowing that you were going to have to fix it yourself since you weren’t going to overpay someone to fix it. But the next morning, you heard Azriel knocking on your door with some tools in hand.

“You don’t have to fix it for me, Azriel. Honestly, I can—“

“It’s not trouble for me. Better for you to be safe than an injury happening,”

He fixed the floorboards and the window pane within a few hours, you paying him with a homemade lunch and you two perched on the front porch of the bookstore gossiping about Cassian and Nesta’s upcoming wedding. You hear him laugh from a comment you made, a whole-hearted laugh with his eyes crinkling and his teeth glistening in the sun, making you fall for him harder.

As the months passed, your friendship deepened and your crush on Azriel was still present, but it was placed on the back burner. It felt like a fever dream for you to be on the same platform as him, only seeing yourself as a bookkeeper and nothing more important than that. Azriel had power, he had a past of using that power on others to gain knowledge and intelligence. His cool demeanor and uneasy stature would make others flee and run away, but you felt closer to him than anyone else in the Inner Circle. Even with Nesta, who would tease you about how you two would be perfect together. But of course, you would push those possibilities and dreams away with a wave of your hand.

“I don’t think he would be interested in someone like me,”

“Like who?! Someone kind, intelligent, and beautiful from the inside out? I think he would, and he would be a fool to think otherwise,”

Leave it to Nesta to build you up when you feel low.

This led you to this night, a snowstorm roaring outside the Townhouse while you were all sitting together in one of the casual sitting rooms. With all eyes on you, you were still looking at the wine glass in hand as you were now the center of conversation.

“My love life is…..complicated to say the least,” you said aloud to the group, all of whom were simply smiling as you spoke again, “I am interested in someone, but nothing past that,”

“Oh, do tell!” Elaine said in glee as she was perched on a loveseat with her Mate, Lucien. Feyre and Rhsyand too seemed interested, wrapped in each other’s arms while Cassian was grinning widely from his perch in an armchair. You didn’t see Azriel, who was over on the other side of the room leaning against the wall, clutching his whiskey glass in a death grip as his hazel eyes were drilling into your own orbs.

“I doubt she wants to talk about it in a room filled with gossipers,” Cassian joked as Nesta glared at her mate.

“As if any of this will leave the Townhouse,” Feyre countered with him, though she gave you a knowing look, “You don’t need to tell us if you don’t want to. I know how secretive you are,”

“Yes, she does!” Nesta said with a smirk as she clinked her wine glass with yours, “I know you far too well, and you are in need of some love in your life. So tell us, what is he like?”

“Or she,” Rhysand hummed, though you rolled your eyes, “I’m only leaving it open, who are we to judge?”

“It is a male,” you corrected, seeing some smiles all around as you blushed. Once again, without you knowing it, Azriel was standing so still as he was drinking in this information of you being smitten by someone else. It was making his cool demeanor almost snap. You had no idea that he was fuming inside, the thought of another capturing your heart and making you feel loved and adored, the notion that another could take you away from him and leave him high and cry.

He was using all of his willpower to not stalk across the room to claim you as his, having months of practice in him pining over you and wishing you to be his.

He found you infectious to his soul, whether it was your laugh or your smile that made your freckles pop and your face light up in joy. He would find reasons to visit you at your little shop, just to talk to you for minutes at a time because it would fill up his soul with hope and love he missed out on for years. Azriel thought of you as beautiful in both image and in heart, a shining ray of light in his dark world. Yet he knew deep down he had to be careful, letting in people who were close to him would automatically link them to his dangerous life and his dangerous job. The last thing he would ever want is to bring potential danger to someone he loved.

It would kill him to bring you harm, the one person he would face danger for.

“All I will say is that this male is someone I feel will not wish to be with someone like me,” You said to the group with a shrug, Nesta rolling her eyes as Elaine looked at you almost in remorse.

“You speak so low of yourself! You are far too beautiful and intelligent for any male to pass on,” Feyre reasoned with you as she smiled sweetly at you, “That male is a fool to pass you by,”

“You are a catch,” Cassian agreed, then throwing up his hands in defense, “And I say that as a friend!”

“And I agree with my mate,” Nesta said to you, “I find males who cannot make up their minds on what they want to be fools,”

“Babe,” Cassian sighed as she gave him a knowing look.

“You are no longer a fool, sweetheart,” She said to him as she winked at him before looking back at you, “Your heart is far too sweet and far too kind for any male, no matter how they are, to simply cast by.”

Perhaps it was the one thing that Azriel needed to hear, the one phrase that made him throw out the rational side that he was trying to hold onto. The thought of some other male casting her side, or using her as a pawn in their game, it made his blood boil. The affection he felt for you over the year grew day after day, and it got to the point of it coming to a head at any moment. No matter the scenarios he played in his head in how he would ask you to dinner or to an outing in the park, nor the talks he confided in with Cassian in how he wished to talk to you about his affections for you. All of that was out of the window.

He had to act, and he did just that.

He moved before he could stop his feet, walking across the room with his eyes on you like you were a target for his mission. Everyone was floored by how fast he was moving, you were almost spooked by the way he walked swiftly and his shadows were attempting to catch up to him. He took your hand in his own, making you stand up from your spot on the loveseat and look at him with shock and worry.

“Azriel? What is—“ you were about to ask him. But he instantly silenced you, reaching up to frame your jaw in his hand as he kissed you.

Nothing else mattered, everything ceased to exist, and you felt your heart bursting.

His lips, soft and yet firm in how he was kissing you, ingested a fire in you as you were still frozen in your spot and in his embrace. The thoughts and daydreams of kissing Azriel were all out the window since this was real, breathing in his cologne and the scent that was etched on his skin and feeling his body temperature mingle with yours. The way he kissed you was both gentle and possessive, maybe he was claiming you as his and at the same time wishing to show his affection to you. Either way, you were filled with love with that simple kiss, filled to the point of almost overflowing, and then some.

Before he could pull away, thinking he made a huge mistake in kissing you in front of all of your closest friends in such a brave declaration, you kissed him back. He heard the others intake a short breath from the gesture, your fingers reaching up to touch the front of his shirt to feel his rapid heartbeat that was threatening to burst out of his body. His mind was on overdrive, not believing what was occurring. You kissed him, and the gentle kiss against his lips unleashed a new sensation deep within him that he never felt for another. Affection, protection, possession, and most importantly love.

He loved you. Cauldron he loved you.

It didn’t occur to either you or Azriel that the rest of the room was watching on bated breath, both in shock and in pure happiness as you two finally pulled away from one another and gazed at each other. The realization of what happened sunk in, but in the best way possible. There was a glow about the two of you, almost like a new shade of emotion over the pair of you like a blanket to shield you from the rest of the world. Azriel smiled, in which you grinned in return as he laced your fingers together and gulped.

“Come with me,” he said, you nodding without you realizing it. He then moved, having you follow him like a puppy as he led the two of you out towards the hallway. Yet he looked over his shoulder at the rest of the group, all of whom were still looking in shock at what happened.

“Thank you for the party,” he said abruptly, and then you two walked into the darkness of the hallway before the faint sound of him winnowing was heard. You both were gone in a second.

Silence was heard in the room, everyone looking at each other. The only sound heard was the fireplace, but it only took a few solid seconds before Cassian gulped down the last of his whiskey and placed the glass on the mantelpiece.

“Fucking finally!” He said in a sigh of relief, the others grinning as Nesta shot up and glided over to her mate, “I swear to the Cauldron, It took too damn long for them to get together!”

“Aren’t they simply lovely together?” Elaine asked with a sweet grin to Lucien, who nodded at his mate in agreement, “They both deserve to be happy together!”

“It was getting them both to realize it that took too long,” Rhsyand snorted as Feyre slapped his arm, “What? It’s true! Cass and I had a running bet on how long it would take for them to get together. Which reminds me, you owe me some money, Cassian!”

“Damnit,” Cassian groaned with a rub of his eyes with his fingers as Nesta grinned in victory.

“Well I am glad they finally realize they are meant to be together,” Nesta said with her smile, “Those two are meant to be. I know they are.”

“To the lovebirds!” Rhsyand announced, raising his glass in the air as the others did as well, “And a life filled with happiness and love for the two souls who deserve it the most out of all of us!”

The group raised their glasses, knowing deep down, that your future together was bright and full.

“Here, for you,”

“Thank you,”

You sat up in the bed, your bare body covered by the bedsheets as Azriel fell back into bed with you with no care of covering himself up while he handed you a plate filled with some fruits and crackers. You were blushing like mad as he played kisses along your skin and shoulders, you giggled as he wrapped you in his arms.

“Are you going to let me eat?” You asked in a teasing tone, though he passed and stared lovingly at you. Just being there, bare and glowing in both bliss and happiness after spending a few hours in pure pleasure and euphoria, it was all life-changing for him. Even with his hair askew and a thin sheet of sweat on him, there was no sign of fatigue on him. He was far too happy, too energetic even, to have another moment without you. After a year of pinning over you and seeing you from an arms’ reach, he would never let you go from now on.

“Are you willing to share?” He teased back, you rolling your eyes as he fed him a few grapes. You loved seeing this side of Azriel, the playful and gentle side that you knew was buried deep down under his tough exterior. But Hours before when he winnowed you both to the House of Wind, pressing you against the wall and kissing you deeply, you were unraveling with no sign of resistance. If the kiss in front of the Inner Circle erased your mind, the kisses he gave you when you two alone erased your sanity. He was possessive with his arms around you, his kisses along your neck, and your pulse racing.

No longer were you two just friends, you both knew it.

He flipped your world upside down, it was no simple fuck. No, with Azriel, he was precise in how he brought you pleasure and made you moan his name like a prayer. From the way he undressed your and perched you on the edge of an ottoman at the foot of the bed, to the way he licked your folds with his wicked tongue and made you watch his lips and tongue get your beyond wet just for him. You were on fire, chanting his name and tugging at his locks as his hands were bracing your hips to keep you still, even with your thighs perched on his shoulders and shaking in pleasure and madness.

There was no daydream that you ever had that would compare to the real thing, even when you came in a shout and Azriel grinned against your now sensitive pussy before he ascended to stare at your blissed-out face. He kissed you softly, you trembling against his lips while your orgasm was slowly coming down, but you moaned once again as his fingers sunk into you. It made you realize he was simply warming up, and the night was just getting started.

That night was the best night of your life.

“How long have you liked me?” You asked as he placed the now empty plate away and had you snuggle in his arms, you half on top of him as his fingers were tracing your bare back and along your spine. He grinned at you, scanning your eyes and your messy hair.

“Since the moment Nesta introduced you to me,” He answered, you blushing like mad as he kissed the tip of your nose, “I knew then, even in that smile on yours, that there would be no one else for me in this life.”

“From a smile?” You asked.

“You can tell a lot from a person in how they smile,” Azriel explained, “Those who force a smile are not to be trusted. But those who have a real smile, a kind smile, are those who can depend on in hard times. Your smile entranced me, and I never wished to see another smile since it would never compare to yours,”

“Well, for me, it was when we shook hands,” You explained, reaching over to take his spare hand and lace your fingers together gently and look at the scars along his skin, “Your hands were warm, and you were gentle in shaking my hand. I knew then, because of the warmth I sensed in you and the goodness you had in you.”

Even bathed in the moonlight, bare with no abandon, Azriel’s smile he gave to you was beyond beautiful. Your love for him was shining bright no sign of darkness or blemish, it was making everything else in your life seem dull in comparison. He made you feel loved, not just with the physical pleasure he gave you but the emotional too. You knew he adored you, loved you beyond reason, and you were feeling just the same. He would walk through fire for you, experience pain so you wouldn’t, and there would be no hesitance when It came to bringing you love. All because you loved him for who he was and brought him pure joy.

And as he sat up with you in his lap, guiding his cock into you to make you cling onto him and moan in bliss, you both knew there was no going back as your lives were forever intertwined.

The End

#azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel x you #Azriel #acotar fanfiction #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #a court of silver flames #azriel spymaster #azriel x oc #azriel fanfic #azriel acotar

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w1n3bunny · 2 months ago

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chat can u infodump abt phinjeet im intreuged <- hasnt watched pnf but probably should

* UR GIVING ME A FREE PASS TO TALK ABOUT THOZE FREAKZ TOBY ?!??!! I OWE U MY LIFE (sorry this took a while to answer i need time to gather and properly express my thoughtz GAH (also excuze the poor quality of my screenshotz im on a budget))

* this iznt going to be coherent but HERE WE GO

* so a big part of what compelz me about their dynamic iz the fact that theyre essentially on the same level/wavelength , while ofc phineas iz more adventurous and baljeet iz more anxious , theyre equally intelligent (NEEEERRRRDDZZ) and can speak the same nerdy language and truly listen to each other (smth i cant alwayz say for their more popular pairingz with other characterz WGAT WHO SAID THAT WHO SAID THAT)

* i lov when theyre in sync !!!!! i lov when they get each other !!!!!!!! they sincerely care about each otherz interestz becauze they hav Shared interestz !!!!!!!!!!!!

* they hav a shared interest in sci-fi , theyre both big fanz of an in-universe show called space adventure n therez an episode where they go to a sci-fi convention in space adventure cozplay , tho baljeet iz shown to hav a more Persistent interest in it . in candace against the universe he repeatedly triez to uze thingz that happen in space adventure az solutionz to the gangz space related problemz , even against hiz own better judgement and understanding of science , somtimez veering into just straight up infodumping territory . this pretty much alwayz endz poorly lol , ig hyperfixation beatz logic . mood

* (HEZ LITERALLY ME)

* at the end phineas makez hiz own space adventure suggestion , and thatz the only one that actually workz out . SAD !

* they also both lov math n science specifically ! phineas channelz hiz passion into crazy projectz and inventionz while baljeet moreso lovez math itself , and therez an episode where phineas iz shown uploading blueprintz to hiz n ferbz website so baljeet can check the math , which he doez very quickly and then sendz over the updated verzion , and although we only see this once it impliez to me that this iz a regular occurrence to the point where theyve got it down like a routine I JUST THINK THATZ CUTE !!!!! lookit theze nerdz <3333

* i see them az stabilizing forcez to each other , when baljeet iz freaking the hell out about smth phineas can help him look on the brighter side n realize itz not that big of a deal , or assure him thingz will work out . when phineas iz bouncing off the wallz and not thinking very far ahead baljeet can bring him back down to earth and challenge hiz leadership in a way the otherz dont often do , or correct hiz mistakez if need be

* and becauze of the way phin needz jeet to check over hiz math , and the way he misspellz time machine az tie machine in “its about time” , i like to hc phineas like . iznt necessarily Bad at spelling or typing , but iz very prone to making obvious mistakez in hiz haste , so itz great that he haz a nerd friend whoz happy to review hiz work n catch thoze for him YAY

* a similar phin hc i hav iz that , cuz of how hard he hyperfocusez on building stuff , hez constantly getting bruizez n scrapez that he doeznt even notice cuz hez too In The Zone . he could be leaving a trail of blood and would hav no idea LOL till someone pullz him aside to point it out (just adhd thingz <3 hez literally me) . everyone else startz carrying bandaidz for hiz sake . baljeet uzez blue onez , which iz why i pretty much alwayz try to draw phin (at least younger phin) with a blue bandaid on hiz hand . im makin it gay , it symbolizez jeet being there for him when hez hurt ..... hand holding ........... hehehehehehe

* i also somtimez draw jeet with a yellow bandaid on hiz noze for similarly gay reazonz . muahahaha

* at the start of "cranius maximus" baljeet freakz out becauze he feelz like hez getting dumber the more he hangz out with phineas and ferb since he iznt studying 24/7 anymore , even tho id argue the experience he gainz through their adventurez iz just az valuable , but i think itz a fun point since itz kinda noticeable how much more actively baljeet seemz to engage in the backyard gangz activitiez az the show goez on

* it most likely waznt an intentional Story Decizion for jeet to start changing hiz mind about the importance of hiz studiez after s1 , but i wouldve liked if it waz actually treated az like . a change , an arc of sortz . like at the start of the summer hez super focused on school and not interested in pnfz projectz , but az he keepz incidentally landing in their orbit n finding thingz they hav in common he gradually becomez part of the gang

* that half-made-up early summer baljeet probably wouldve been completely content sitting around n studying for hiz summer school classez all day , but here he iz coming to phineas and ferb with hiz “boring” activity , not even directly Asking them to make it more fun , just hoping and trusting that they Will . smth about that getz me idk . he likez playing with spinning topz , but now maybe smth about hiz change in routine haz made them a bit dull , and he trustz that pnf will figure out smth more exciting (and dangerous lol) to make of them . also just . how much they clearly like each other and enjoy being in each otherz company THATZ CUUUUUTE

* and OFC phinjeet wouldnt be phinjeet without "the baljeatles" (I ALWAYZ WRITE IT AZ PHINJEATLEZ IM COOKED) , one of my favorite episodez , in which pnf try to teach baljeet how to rock tm since hez accidentally signed up for a rock n roll camp n iz terrified of getting a bad grade . SUCH A GOOD EPISODE which so many of my phinjeet hcz hinge on , becauze THEY WERE IN LLIKE ?!?!?!?!?!? A PUNK ROCK BAND TOGETHER ?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?! EMOZ ?!?!?!?!?!?!?! /J

* THERE WAZ NO REAZON TO PUT UR ARM AROUND HIM LIKE THAT DAWG I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE . i hc it waz at this very concert that phineas had a gay awakening LOOOL . for the entire episode up till the concert jeet haz been very anxious and uncertain becauze he just doeznt know how to Rock , he doeznt Want to stick it to the man , he doeznt want to break the rulez , but now suddenly he walkz out on stage az a completely different , angry and confident person . i can just vividly picture phin freezing up and forgetting hez suppozed to be doing backup vocalz n stuff n ferb haz to like nudge him and remind him hez on stage . dumbass

* and despite all their wholesomeness theyre not above picking on each other (lightheartedly), which iz also extremely important . somtimez itz one-sided since jeet tendz to be the more petty n snarky one , but yk

* i think therez just . so many little thingz like that that make them such a compelling dynamic to me , n not even necessarily in a ship way , theyre just cute wholesome friendz who like each other !!!! and i think theyre both aro anyway , alloz could never understand phinjeet . thatz a qpr🫵 .

* theyre two nerdz who like sci-fi and space and math . they are sun and moon coded . they are puppy and kitty coded . they are a team that cannot be beaten ("they were also referring to ferb there-" this aint about him/silly) they respect each other and help each other whenever they can . phineas haz a little device that receivez holographic messagez from baljeet whenever he needz help (in One episode but SHH SHHHH) . after candace getz abducted by alienz in candace against the universe baljeet iz the first person they turn to n hez immediately like “i assume you will need me to build another portal” like he just Knowz . and hez fully on board , no questionz asked

* theyre also super autistic !!!!!!! they both hav episodez where they freak out over a change of planz (in "bubble boys" baljeet triez to take phineas' advice to "seize the day" very literally , by planning out every single second of hiz day and then freakz out when hiz schedule iz disrupted . in "bully bromance breakup" jeet forbidz the use of technology az the gang climb a mountain and phin lozez hiz mind , desperately suggesting ideaz for inventionz n gadgetz to the point where he stopz climbing n iz being pulled along by everyone else while curled up into a ball) , they both hav som trouble understanding tone and social cuez , they both infodump and stim , etc

* imagine: they are stargazing together and infodumping to each other about space . they are huddled up on a couch watching a space adventure marathon and eating popcorn , talking to each other for hourz . phin iz hovering over jeetz shoulder az jeet checkz hiz math on a blueprint . they are doing each otherz emo ass make-up and singing together . they are talking about beez and spiderz . they are dyeing each otherz hair . they are drinking cappuccinoz . they are bickering lovingly .

* now lemme yap rq about the aro thing cuz im aro and itz super important to me:

* phineas iz the one whoz more obviously aro coded , most notably cuz of how he never pickz up on any of izabellaz advancez and remainz completely clueless about her feelingz for him , but smth specific that getz me iz the way he talkz about romance in “that sinking feeling” . baljeet freakz out about hiz childhood friend being Pretty now , he wordz it weird like “now she is … a girl !!!” but hez like ten and itz 2009 dw about it

* the point iz , phineas iz like “oh i think what girls really like is romance , we learned all about it in this movie we watched !” . the movie waz titanic , and phineas doeznt think of romance az a feeling or an experience , but az an arbitrary list of itemz from a movie . he thinkz classical muzic , roze petalz , a cruize ship . the ship startz FUCKING SINKING and everyonez panicking and hez like “wow ! is this romance or what !” little guy haz NOOOO idea what the hell romance iz and hez trying hiz best but LOL .

* meanwhile baljeet strikez me az an aro who (in contrast to phineas) iz hyperaware of the amatonormative society around him and feelz obligated to try and fit into it and be “Normal” . he feelz a lot of aesthetic attraction , and partly cuz of PHINEAS’ confuzion about romance , he equatez it to romantic attraction

* he haz like four “love interestz” if u wanna call them that , but theyre mostly pretty shallow or underdeveloped relationship-wize , which i interpret az jeet having Chozen to hav crushez on thoze ppl , misinterpreting platonic and aesthetic attraction , looking at a person like a checklist of dezirable traitz , or just being eazily influenced and pushed into romantic relationshipz becauze of everything else combined with hiz desperation to be “normal”

* how i see their relationship developing iz later in their teenz they get together thinking itz romantic , baljeet finally feelz “fixed” and phineas feelz like he finally Getz It , but the way the ppl around them perceive their relationship , the way they themselvez only want it to be like “super close friends who kiss sometimes” , and the expectationz that are put on them to do/be More etc , make them question whether their feelingz are genuine . then somwhere down the line they (separately) realize theyre aro and that their feelingz for each other are actually queerplatonic and kind of both loze their mindz over it (im projecting my own aro experience here , when i first realized i waz aro i had a sorta-gf n i waz terrified that i wouldnt be able to lov her the “right” way or that i waz leading her on , so thatz also what i imagine going through their headz) . till they try to confess this to each other n realize there waz nothing to worry about cuz they were actually already on the same page n then theyre happy silly qppz forever the end

* az much az i like to make shit up n torture theze two to make them more fucked up than they should be , theyre really just . sweet and inoffensive . theyre buddiez . theyre palz . theyre a team . theyre everything to me and they make me phyzically ill somtimez

* herez som drawingz ! az a gift <3

* this iz certainly not ALL i can say about phinjeet , BUT IM SO TIRED AND THIS POST CANT GO ON FOREVER . so thatz it for neow peace and love <3333

#phinz askz #this iz going in tha tagz #pnf #phinjeet #just thoze onez tho cuz im scared #im probably one of the most biased ppl ever to tell u whether or not u should watch pnf (the answer will alwayz be yes)#but genuinely GENUINELY . it iz so autistic and full of lov and i think u would enjoy it #smilez widely TYSM FOR THIS ASK THIS IZ THE BEST ASK U COULD EVER ASK ME . SORRY IF ITZ BORING OR SMTH THO #dm me on discord if u want to toby we can pnf talk whenever

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wizardfrog69 · 1 year ago

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hellooo! I was thinking about drunk!Fyodor who reveal his real feelings to the reader and it's afraid about the reader left him and never come back...(can you write it?)

I love that idea and I can definitely write it!!! Thank you for the request! Also sorry if I misunderstood the request in advance.

'•.¸♡ Drunk feelings ♡¸.•'

Drunk Fyodor x reader

Fluff (?)

Warnings: drinking, abandonment issues (?)

Masterlist

Enjoy!

(Im writing this in a train so if something is misspelt badly, then I'm blaming the train)

A month or so ago, it's hard to keep track of time, Maybe this even happened three months ago, you had to leave, you did tell Fyodor you had to leave, "for work" you told him, you thought he would expect you home, and he did, but there was always a voice in the back of his mind telling him otherwise. "They left you." it said, "they always leave, no one ever stayed." it repeated over and over again. The only way to silence the devil was to work or drink. It was not drinking, then work. If not work, then drinking. Every day, Fyodor was tired, day by day that voice got louder and more annoying, if you could see how sick-like he was.

The day you were supposed to come back, you were a bit late. Why? God knows why! but this isn't about that. You trudged into your shared apartment. You had a long day of travelling and walking after all, but once you saw Fyodor at the table looking more sick and tired than ever, a stench of vodka oozing out of him as he sat at the lonely table your steps came back to life as you tan to Fyodor in a worried manner.

"God, Fyodor! What happened? are you okay? Do you need help? Here, let me take the bottle out of your hands, dear." Your voice was overflowing with worry and concern. A lingering of sad could also be seen more than heard, but it was still there. Without answering any of your questions, he stood up almost, falling over his own steps and hugging you tightly. The poor guy's voice was slurring more than the guy at your local pub. "Please don't leave me, I don't want you to leave, please s-stay." He slurred hopelessly and anxiously through the wall of drunkeness.

Fyodor had never expressed so much emotion in one sitting. You knew it was because of the several bottles around him, but you never knew he would go to such lengths. "What do you mean, darling? I'm not going to leave, I'm going to stay with you forever." You tried to calm him down with a soothing voice, your mind racing a million meters per minute, as if they were racing to win a race against your other thoughts.

"Forever?" Fyodor slurred once more. He was truly unresistable while drunk. "Yes, forever, now let's get you to sleep." As soon as you tried to leave to help him, he hugged you tightly like he didn't want you to leave, hugging you all the way to bed, throughout his drunk proposal and while you slept until morning, them Fyodor wasn't I'm the mood to discuss what happened.

༺♡༻ 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 ⋆ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 ༺♡༻

Sorry for being away for so long, but at the moment I'm travelling so I'll be away for another while, I've just been a bit busy.

I hope everyone is doing well, have a wonderful day/night and sleep well.

-love, Az

#bsd #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs #fyodor x reader #bsd fyodor #fyodor x #fyodor fluff #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bungou stray dogs fyodor #fyodor

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born-to-riot · 2 months ago

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I’m here, you naughty little child! I can see you’re very greedy for your present. I like the sinners. Let’s play.

I’m glad we’re staying in Prythian. It’s a wonderful playground of intrigue and plotholes that we can bash our boys around in. Let’s throw our boys into a situation with Rhysand planning another mission. Eris smarms them up and Azriel is High Lord’s silent, broody shadow.

1. Would you like to see more of Tamlin, Lucien, or Nyx?

2. Which parts of the world would you like to see?

3. What rating are you comfortable with?

4. Do we care about Mor?

Let’s put some other players on the field!

HI SANTA

I am a naughty child, this is true

(I may be greedy but I am also patient SO DONT WORRY)

(I am also a gremlin, as you may have noticed)

IM WXCITED FOR PLOT HEHEHEHEE

now to answer your questions

1. While I like all three options I’d say more of Tamlin (and Lucien) but also I don’t like Tamlin bashing (he may be a bitch but like shit if Feyre pulled that shit on me I’d be a bitch too)

I WANT YOU TO HAVE FUN WRITING SANTA so feel free to take anything I say with a grain of salt. (I know I may be a sinner, but I’d feel really really bad if you were stressing and not enjoying whatever you were making for me)

2. I am happy anywhere in Prythian or whatever other place you may have in mind (I must admit I have a certain weakeness for the Summer Court Men) (and I think Amren and Varian are just an untapped opportunity of comedic potential)

However, Santa, feel free to take me anywhere your mind sees fit, I don’t really have a particular vision in mind when it comes to location. Autumn is pretty, Night is Azriel’s home, and there are so many other courts they could take their mission. (Long story short: be as creative as you want)

3. SKY IS THE LIMIT

I’m unsure if you’ve seen my Ao3 bookmarks, or know anything about my preferences (which is fine because you will be my friend after this you have no choice)

But if it gives you any indication of my preferences, the SAW franchise is one of my favorites. (I like blood and danger and gore, not necessary but when used well it can raise the stakes, yeah?)

As for smut, you can make it as kinky as you want as long as it serves the plot lol. With Azris, I don’t have a preference for a top, in fact I think switching depending on the mood is great. I also will never say no to a mating frenzy (I love it when it’s feral and it’s almost like there’s some other power driving them BECAUSE ITS HOT OKAY. I’m also weak to emotional support and soft shit (mostly because I think with Azris it’s a nice breath away from all the havoc of their daily lives and responsibilities and IDK IM RAMBLING)

(I’m a baby tho and I don’t like reading smut about azris with other people than each other so if that’s what is to happen than make that specific type of smut only suggestive please)

So I guess that’s a really long way of saying that I am game for pretty much anything. WITH SMUT it’s not necessary as I care more about the plot. But at the same time, I feel like you have a creative mind so I trust you Santa.

(Again BE MY FRIEND)

My hard limits are incest, scat, and DV(specifically between azris)

4. I DONT CARE ABOUT MOR

Listen usually I’m a girls girl through and through BUT YOURE TELLING ME THIS GIRL LET THIS GUY FAWN OVER HER FOR CENTURIES ALL BECAUSE SHE WAS A LESBIAN (like I know Az is at fault too because buddy needs to learn how to take a hint) BUT like I’m sorry—SOMETHING IS SUSPICIOUS. She wouldn’t be this cagey about the truth of whatever happened with Eris (he keeps saying it’s not what everyone thinks) if she isn’t lying about something. (Acotar fandom, please don’t hate me. It’s just at this point it seems the only thing Mor does for the IC is cause drama) (I may be exaggerating). Point is Santa- I DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HER (I don’t hate her, I’m just not enthused at this point)

5. I’m not sure if this was a question, but about putting other players on the field…

- I’m fine with OCs because I think sometimes canon characters can’t fill a certain role in the story that is missing.

- I also like when Beron has some nuance to him, nothing can come from nothing and sure he’s flawed but he has more aspects to him than what Feyre sees in sure (I guess l mean It probably isn’t as emotionally easy for Eris to kill him as he plays it off) (I’m not saying make Beron a good guy btw, he’s a piece of shit, but I’m saying like hey if you want to add some nuance I wouldn’t mind)

(Also I’m purely just rambling PLEASE I AM JUST TRYING TO GIVE YOU AS MUCH INFORMATION so you can figure out what you need to)

______

OKAY SANTA I ANSWERED ALL YOUR QUESTIONS!

Feel free to ask me more

As I’ve said I want to be friends

Am I allowed to ask you some in return ?

ALSO don’t think I fail to notice you are aware of my sins. Like calls to like. I bet you’re naughty too hehe

ANYWAY I think I’ve yapped long enough, I hope this helps

I would apologize for rambling but I think you like it 😘

#secret santa #acotar gift exchange #acotar gift exchange 2024 #santa baby #secret santa 2024 #acotar secret Santa #acotar secret Santa 2024 #Lindsey’s House of Chaos

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tonydaddingham · 1 year ago

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✨ episode 4 - running commentary✨

- I'm not ready for this no no no no no DEEP BREATH ok let's go

- I will just say actually that ep3 has turned it around for me, like 100% and it is SO MUCH BETTER on tv than on the bigger screen, the screenings were fun but a Mistake

- anyWAY

- LESI???

- ok literally a hitchhiker lmao @theeminentlyimpractical wins this round HAHAH JTS SHAX JAHAHA mood swing

- oh my god i want them to be friends in an AU fuCK SHE WORKED IT OUT AZIRAPHALE LMAO

- BAD SHAX HE IS ✨EXACTLY✨ HIS TYPE fucking BEAT HER ASS AZZY

- lmao aziraphale???? YOU SLY DOG????

- this has to be a fuck moment right aziraphale? az?? CMON SWEAR YOU DUMBASS BITCH

- honestly aziraphale if it turns out furfur is an ex we need to have cocktails bbygirl tell me EVERYTHING YOU DIRTY HOE

- 40S MINISODE ARGHJ🚨🚨🚨🚨

- lmao walking dead au when, they really did end up down there huh I mean foregone conclusion but this gives me LIFE

- idc about hell I need the BOYS I need the dinner of motherfucking 41

- all the Nazis lmao get shredded bitches

- furfur lol this is doomed to failure

- DAVID TENNANT ON FIRE FUCK YES

- aziraphale stop trying to offer him a handy I'm sorry but you need to TONE IT DOWN you nearly got blown up NOW IS NOT THE TIME offer him a blowy LATER

- no I'm sorry but Mrs h???? FUCKING GET THEM GIRL THEYRE MY BABIES BUT INEPT AF

- THE SHOT THE CROWLEY PICTURE FUCK

- this is so much better than I could have ever predicted NEIL YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARd

- AHHHHHH AM I ABOUT TO BE RIGHT ABOUT THE 40S MINSODE DID I PREDICT THS???? DO THEY KISS????💓✨ IS THERE A 🚨MOMENT🚨

- also lmao the dinner is after the show??? idk let's see

- IM SWEATIN SO HARD THIS KS SO GOOd

- fucking HOWLING at the Nazi trio hahaha Steve pemberton is *the* moment lmaooooo

- OOP NO DINNER DINNER NOW??? Also lmao 'friends' I bet that BURNED Michael's mouth to FUCK

- crowley's face I'm DYING aziraphale you're so SILLY

- fuck me im so whipped for 40s Crowley and his lil jazzy wazzy hands

- THE WAY HE FLIRTS FUCK OFF GO AWAY CROWLEY stop buttering him up HES ABOJT TO JUMP YOU BUD

- ahhh magic shop!!!!!✨✨✨

- I know we said that aziraphale has the patience of a saint but I take it back Crowley is still an angel I'm convinced of it

- aziraphale literally has no self preservation I love him

- "leave the miracles to us" snarky ass bitch

- AHHHH HE TRUSTS CROWLEY FUCK YES the way he grabs his MF HAND no I'm done now

- DID I CALL CROWLEY BEING A VOLUNTEER IN A FUCKINF SHITPOST my GOD

- aziraphale you are a disaster

- I FUCKING CALLED IT HAHAHA this is my win ill tAKE IT CROWLEY CALLED AS A VOLUNTEER HAHAHA

- oh my god someone drag him off stage pLEASE

- GRITTED TEETH "NEITHER ARE MINE HEHE" hahahaha

- HE LITERALLY HAS TO TRUST CROWLEY UGH THIS IS 4AM GIRL DINNER ✨💓

- Cmon Crowley you can do it bbygirl💓💓💓💓

- HE DID IT

- here we GO THE DRESSING ROOM SCENE YES

- no fuck off furfur they need to snog go away OH MY GOD THEY KNEW EACH OTHER, jealous AZIRAPHALE?????

- "AZIRA-FALALALALA"

- oh I'm living for the zombies I love them

- lmao that photo hahahaha

- FUCK AZIRAPHALE YOU ARe so goOD AT MAGIC AND SLEIGHT OF HAND IM SORRY I EVER DOUBTED YOU you saved yourselves YES

- DINNER DINNER DINNER

- NOW KISS

- NOW

- "retire the act"

- OH MT FOD THIS IS SO SOFT??????? FUCKINF HELL

- BLUR THE MF EDGES

- THE WIIIIIIINE

- wait no come back u need to kiss now no

- fucking cockblocked by a scene change fuCK

- NO SHAX YOU BITCH NO LEAVE THEM ALONE LEAVE THEM ALOOOOOONNEEEEEE

- PLEASE

- yes beelzebub NO BEELZEBUB lol another mood swing

- annnnnd he's back home💓💓💓

- I KNEW AZIRAPHALE WAS BENTLEY'S FAVE get shitted on crowley

- he's MOVING BACK IN???? INTK RHE BENTLEY???? CROWLEY TOU ARE SO STUPID BABES

- "a night to REMEMBER" lmao it BETTER BE

Oh no it's the ball episode next I BETTER GET THAT KISS but also an explanation for "u go too fast for me Crowley" bc that did NOT explain it

#good omens #good omens season 2 #go2 commentary #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #not a shitpost but its good omens babyyyy

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slightlyunconventional · 2 years ago

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right im too tired to write tonight (very sorry 😔) but i will tide you over with some k/az thoughts and headcanons and rambles because im in a very k/azzy mood 🫶🏻 hope this will suffice

- REALLY bad pollen/spring allergies. from like april to july he's totally suffering, eyes watery and red-rimmed, nose chapped and angrily scarlet

- a flower i think he'd be especially sensitive to is may night salvia (ill put a picture of it right at the bottom of this post) which just happens to probably be one of i/nej's favourites (she'd also possibly (probably) use it to tease him because it's so slender and long and AH)

- he also definitely sometimes forgets to close the window before he goes to bed, so then he wakes up feeling like his head is stuffed with cotton wool and it's only a matter of moments before he's sneezing in fits

- pollen sneezes are usually messy and harsh, practically unstifleable (definitely not a real word) so he has to muffle them as best as he can into his elbow (or freely into the air if he's alone and desperate enough)

- dust allergy too!! anything from dusty books to closets to vents will set him off. and he's VERY embarrassed of it

- his dust sneezes are very itchy-sounding, usually pretty pitchy (some would describe them as rather cute.), and they're easier to stifle than his pollen sneezes. often, he ends up in rapid dust fits during which the sneezes just sort of burst out of him in quick succession and he just absolutely can't get a hold of himself

- he definitely frequently has the two sneezes in one breath thing, a kinda "haAHH'ISSHHh-ISCHHhiew!" each time

- ugh the RAIN makes him sneeze too. or just generally being soaking wet. so getting out of the shower into the cold definitely teases a few sneezes out of him until he's dried off

- he can definitely be counted on to get at least one cold every winter. it started with a mildly sore and sensitive throat, then progresses to mild congestion, sniffles, and light headaches, and then it'll be pure exhaustion, wracking fits of sneezing and coughing, and the occasional fever and/or migraine. poor guy.

- cold sneezes are wet wet wet !! they're loud too, which he hates but he really can't help the volume :( he tries to stifle them but it makes his head hurt so he usually has to avoid it. so much for dark and mysterious if you can't even stifle a sneeze amirite

- i saw a post (might have reblogged it?) that had a dialogue prompt thing that was like "you can't get three feet from a box of kleenex without sneezing" and i just think that is SO i/nej to k/az when he's got a particularly sneezy cold. he probably has to either shove a load of tissues in his pockets or just carry the box around with him because he can't seem to stop sneezing

- i also love the image of him trying to focus on picking a lock and getting gradually more and more frustrated because he keeps having to duck to the side to sneeze heavily (itchy for no reason type beat)

that's all !! ill probably post more of this type of post in future (especially when s2 comes out 🤭)

and here's the may night salvia i mentioned before! torturously tickle, i'd say ;)

#hi! how is everyone tonight #i like this post its a bit rambly but its better than nothing right #s/ix of cr/ows #snz #snzblr #snz kink #k talks snz #snz blog #snzario #sneeze kink #snzcanons #snz hcs

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ariluvsusm · 2 years ago

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latte- azriel

description: short filler fluff, azriel gets back from a mission and just wants to spend time with you, so you go on a cute date (like normal people)

warnings: fluff, female reader, a few sexual implications and jokes

-a/n: i wrote this so fast but i just wanted to publish something 😭 sorry for being inactive!! im busy with school. i’m working on two requests rn and will have them published by this weekend (a spn one and a tog one!!). please give me requests!! i will literally write ANYTHING you request (including smut) but i just need prompts!! i’m having severe writers block.

————————————————————————

you sigh quietly, putting down your fork.

“missing loverboy, y/n?” cassian asks.

you and the inner circle, save for azriel, are having breakfast at the townhouse. rhys insisted upon making you all breakfast, like the mother hen he truly is. it’s really good… you just wish azriel were back from his mission.

“shut up, ass-ian.” you shoot back.

“yeah, shut up assian!” rhys sarcastically echoes in a high voice, an amused smirk on his face.

“you know what, rhys? if you could use your dark scary night powers and make him come home that would be helpful.” you joke.

“i can’t do that but i can make you an exact replica of him out of night that functions and everything.” rhys jokes, stuffing half a pancake in his mouth and then downing chocolate milk. like a child.

you laugh. “okay, what’s the price? my soul? my youth? i’ll take it!”

the entire table breaks out in laughter.

“well, if i were you, i’d ask amren to make me an anti-azriel. she seems like she’d know how to do that,” mor says through laughter.

amren smiles, smiles, evilly at you. you stop laughing and look at her, gaping, slightly terrified.

and she breaks into laughter.

“your face!” she says through bouts of laughter.

the rest of the inner circle just looks at her, mouths slightly open, forks halfway to their destinations, waiting for amren to damn them to hell or something.

“at least someone’s in a good mood,” cassian grumbles.

the conversation topic changes, now discussing books and the library. but you just stay quiet- you miss him so bad. and you can’t help but wonder and pray that he comes home unscathed. you know that’s he’s the best spy in prythian, and a skilled warrior, but you still worry. finally, you hear the front door open, and you bound through the house, flinging yourself into the arms of the golden skinned, hazel eyed man in the doorway. he spins you around.

the rest of the inner circle, except for amren, show up a moment later- laughing at your eagerness. but you don’t let go.

“i missed you so much.” you murmur into his neck, breathing in his scent. he squeezes you.

“and i you.” he mutters.

“gross,” cassian says, scoffing.

“leave them be,” rhys says. “after your… reunion, come find me and we’ll do the paperwork.” he leaves, and you turn your head, now looking at mor, the last remaining one in the doorway. she just winks and leaves.

you were about to ask az why the hell you guys weren’t in the bedroom yet, when he starts.

“y/n… let’s go on a date.” he says. “i just… i just want to be a normal male and female.”

you were about to object, when he gives you a pointed look.

“i can bed you later…” he says quietly against your neck. and that’s all it takes for you to agree.

“i’m gonna go bathe. why don’t you go get ready?”

so you go back up to you and azriel’s room to get ready. although, you’d rather be up against a wall, or pinned to the bed, or hell, even on the floor under azriel.

you put on a casual date outfit- for the night court, at least. loose, high-waisted lilac pants that sway when you walk, and a matching long-sleeved, deep v-neck top that shows off your cleavage and cuts off to reveal your midriff. you put silver jewelry, dab some oil on your lips, and line your eyes with kohl. finally, you’re ready.

azriel had just come out of the bath when you’d slipped on your flats- so you watched him on the bed while he got ready. his muscled, toned back and majestic wings flex as he slips on some undershorts and pants. he turns around to see you ogling at him.

“like what you see?” he jokes.

“why do we have to go on this date?” you groaned. “i can think of a hundred other things i’d rather do with you. in this house. in this room.”

a flash of something crosses his eyes.

“i don’t know, y/n, i just want to be a little more… domestic. i- it’s like i’m a beast all of the time. i just want to go on a coffee date with my female.” he turns around and slips on a shirt.

you hop of the bed, hugging him from behind. it doesn’t exactly work- you are quite a bit shorter than him, and his wings prevent you from wrapping all the way around. stupid gigantic illyrian male.

“i know, az. i understand. now get dressed so we can go!” you say before giving him a half-heated pinch on his side. he relaxes- just a bit.

you walk down the hallway and into the sitting room, where for some reason, the entire inner circle is waiting. they look at you in surprise.

“what are you doing out here?” cass asks.

“this is… my house too?” you reply.

“shouldn’t you be in there with him… doing… stuff?” he prods. again.

“we’re going on a date.” you say over your shoulder, azriel holding your hand.

“oh, build the tension a little, so when you get back you can fu-“

mor cuts him off. “shut up, cassian.” and then she calls after you and azriel, “you two have fun!” he insists on flying you into town, of course. illyrian males need female validation.

you’re in the sky, looking down upon the town, wrapped safely in his arms, when he tells you.

“one of my males lost his mate,” he almost whispers. you look up at him. you know he’s referring to the spies he was commanding on the mission- the ones who are in training.

“oh, azriel, that is just awful.” before you can say more, he continues.

“it broke him completely. he… he didn’t make it out of his tent that night, the night that they told him. that- that bond… i… i just wanted to spend some actual time with you. wholesome bonding time.” he murmurs.

you look up at him as best as you can. a few moments pass before you assure him,

“of course, az. i understand. i’m happy to spend this time with you.”

after a few more seconds, he continues flying.

“okay, but… wholesome bonding time?” you laugh.

“was not clear enough?”

“no, it’s just not very azriel-esque.”

“what other choice did i have?” his laugh a deep rumble, and music to your ears. “was i supposed to bed you first and than say ‘oh, y/n! put your clothes back on, damn it, we’re gonna go get coffee’?”

“i mean….” you jokingly trail off.

before you land, he stills in the air. you look up at him, a question in your eyes, and when he meets your gaze your breath hitches. a new look- a different one than you’ve ever seen. affectionate, awe-filled. it softens his features. a smile lights up your face before you can help it, and he smiles back. a smile that reaches his eyes and shows his teeth. you couldn’t be happier.

———————————-tiny time skip——————

soon, your arms are linked, walking down the streets of velaris, towards the cafe you and the inner circle frequent. the barista, a young brunette female with a kind smile and kinder eyes, looks up from the latte she’s preparing and greets you.

“hey, yana.” you call, walking up to the bar and sitting down.

“you two look cute,” she smiles, “what can i make for you today?”

immediately, azriel answers with your favorite coffee. he orders himself a regular black coffee, also going for a plate of pastries- your favorite. you can’t help it- you feel so loved, so cared for. although it’s a small thing, it somehow fills your heart. when she walks away, you peck him on the cheek.

“so what’s going on with the rest of them?” he asks you.

“you mean the rest of our family? your wonderful brothers and sisters?”

“sister, and amren.”

you slap his arm. “amren has earned the right to be your sister.”

“that doesn’t stop her from scaring the absolute shit out of me.”

“that’s just the true older sister spirit.”

he laughs, looking down at you. yana is making your order now, having already placed azriels black coffee in front of him. everything is perfect in this moment. azriel is happy and home, you’re happy, you’re both unharmed. you kiss him- on the lips this time- and smile up at him.

“what is that for? am i just so lucky?”

“i love you so much. thank you for being so wonderful.”

—————————————————————————-

-a/n (again lmao): this was so cheesy but 😭😭😭😭 at least im getting better? i just wanted y’all to know i’m alive LMAOOO… and that im going to be publishing good things soon :)

#acotar #azriel x reader #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #azriel x female!reader #a court of thorns and roses #feyre archeron #cassian #morrigan #sarah j maas #sjm #azriel fluff #sjmaas #acomaf #acosf #acofas #rhysand #amren

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bloodycassian · 3 years ago

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darkness defined -

az or cass x reader idk if this makes sense or not but here we go, either az or cas POV where reader (their mate) was stuck under the mountain with rhys and doesn’t come back bc she is still locked in the dungeons (rhys just assumed she died, he doesn’t know she is still alive) Switch to readers POV, a few months later where they think their mate and their family (the night court) has abandoned them bc nobody ever came looking for her. Reader is like on the verge of death and uses her last energy to send a pulse down the bond. Switch back to az or cas POV who are basically freaking out with guilt and anger and worried-ness. Im sorry it’s super long don’t feel pressured to write this anytime soon idk if it even makes sense

DONT APOLOGIZE FOR BEING SPECIFIC! I LOVE WORKING WITH THIS KIND OF STUFF PLEASE DO MORE LOL

Cassian was a wreck. From the moment Rhys came home alone, and until the end of time it seemed to be. Azriel sighed, watching his brother down his second bottle of alcohol. His eyes were red, face gaunt and pale. The circles under those tortured eyes looked more like bruises.

He hadn't talked to Rhys much since the news came that you were gone. Cassian had practically blown the roof off the house of wind, then disappeared for two weeks. The only reason Rhys had let him was because Az followed, far behind just to make sure he wasn't going to do anything drastic.

Azriel watched his brother circle the mountain, only to have to turn away. Wards made by Helion himself refused entry to anyone while the mountain was still being evacuated of Fae. He glared daggers at the people streaming outside the shield. His heart was a painful stab in his chest constantly. His mate.. gone. He refused to believe it. And Azriel saw the denial there, plain as day.

Azriel had only stopped him once. When he packed a bag and started his flight to Hybern. He earned a black eye and a verbal lashing for that, but it had saved Cassian from going on a suicide mission.

After a month of being out, he went to his brother. Rhys refused to ask Helion to lower the shields around the Mountain, and finally Cassian seemed to give up. He would have gone to Helion himself, but the wards around his court prevented him from doing so. Rhys was torn up over the entire experience of under the mountain, but losing you was one of the worst parts. He would never forgive himself for losing his brother's mate.

Azriel watch his brother's eyes get more and more dull. Watched the bottles stack up. Rhys wasn't around much, busy regaining control over his city, getting updated. And keeping an eye on Spring Court. Cassian sighed when the bitter liquid hit his tongue. He drank like it was salvation. Like it would lead him back to you. Plus, it helped him sleep. It was the only time he could sleep without seeing you, without feeling that pull - the command his instincts gave. "Find me, find me. I'm here. I love you. Please." He often escaped to the cabin. To not have to talk to anyone, and to keep Rhys from stealing his bottles from him. Cassian was convinced Rhys was saving them to drink for himself. That's where he found himself flying, bottle of booze in hand. The guilt a lead weight in his stomach.

The door shut, and he finished the first bottle in an hour.

Mor appeared beside him, took the second bottle from his hand and had a long drink herself. He smiled drunkenly, showing too many teeth at her. He wasn't sure if she was actually glowing or if it was his eyes squinting too much. "Cheers." He slurred, taking the bottle back and downing more.

+ The walls were getting drier and drier with each passing day. The once cool winds that would cut through the stone dungeons were turning softer, warmer. It was a welcome relief, but without the muddy water from the walls...you knew you didn't have much left. Your spirit was crushed, on top of it. Death seemed like not a terrible option anymore. Especially knowing that your court - your friends - your family had left you. They had just... forgotten. Thrown you aside like nothing. Didn't even try to find you. Like the Winter court skeleton in the cell beside you, just left to die.

You pushed the thoughts back, knowing that logically that wasn't true. But you couldnt come up with a reason why they would leave you down here. You prayed, you tried sending thoughts down the bond. Nothing worked. Sometimes your mind got the better of you, and you would rush to the bars of your prison cell when you thought you heard faint footsteps.

Then you would hear your own voice echo back, and no one else. Eventually you stopped getting up. You let the fantasies keep you entertained while you lay on the floor. Not caring about the bugs that crawled on you. You were glad there wasn't a mirror to see yourself in. A wave of dizziness crashed over you, and you fell into darkness.

When the water ran dry, you stopped bothering calling out for Cassian. The bond was there, but saturated. Trying to grasp it was like trying to hold wind. You were too exhausted. So you propped yourself up in a corner and let the dizziness pull you under again for a moment. Taking rattling breaths, you let your mind wander to that mind bridge. That once sturdy marble that would always remind you of Cassian.

You sent out a final tug down that bond. Using the last of your energy, you put all your effort into it. "I'm here, I always will be. I love you. I'm sorry." The platform you imagined your bond being seemed to go dark, and lifeless. Empty.

+ Cassian shot upright, head spinning. Mor was asleep beside him, her feet on the table. He shook her, trying to shake the stupor. "Wake up. Wake up!" She groaned, weakly batting him away. He took a breath, trying to steady himself. He wobbled to the kitchen, dunked his head in the cold sink water and slapped himself a few times. The haziness from his stupor crawled away, slowly.

Mor appeared in the archway, rubbing her eyes.

"Get Rhys. I need you to winnow us." He demanded, patting her face softly. Her eyebrows knit together but she stretched, and sleepily obliged. + You assumed the crackling was just your starved imagination. Again. But the wind changed as well, and you tried not to let your hopes up. You weakly opened your eyes, to the same familiar cell. A silent tear slid down your cheek. Then there were the shuffling of footsteps again, and you hid your face in your hands. It seemed like all the imagination tricks were attacking at once. You wanted it to stop. You wanted nothing more than to just fall asleep until you could see and hold Cassian again. Voices, now.

The sweet deep voice of a man who spoke another language. An ancient language. Your ears rang. You cracked your eyes again, to a blinding white light. You held a hand in front of your face, trying to see behind it.

A thud, and scrape of metal. Then the scent hit you. It was similar to what you had imagined but somehow a million times better. Then, his arms were around you. "Mother above." He breathed. You would have thought the mother took you at last if it wasnt for the pain in your gut.

"We got you honey, I'm so sorry. Im-" He tried to hold back a sob. You smiled weakly at the familiar, yet different eyes that you loved. The marble platform you shared seemed to be lighting up with happiness. At the same time, crumbling and falling with shame. Anguish.

Rhys began winnowing the group immediately, nodding to Helion. The high lord gave him a melancholy smile back, and winnowed himself in a flash of light. He would check the rest of the mountain with his forces and repair the wards before he returned to his home.

Everyone surrounded the healer, watching her work. Mor was trying to stay calm, but her hands shook when she held Amrens. Rhys and Azriel both had jaws clenched, shoulders tense. Watching the way Cassian's tears fell on to your shoulder as he cradled you. The healer squeezed his arm softly, silently requesting him to move. He didn't.

Azriel went to his brother, wrapping an arm around him. "Your mate needs you to be strong, Cas." He consoled, pulling him away gently. Cassian held you tighter, just for a second then nodded and let go. He held your hand firmly. His warmth missing from your body was a shock. You began shivering. Amren tugged a blanket off the guest couch nearby and placed it over your legs.

"T-thanks." you muttered. Her eyes widened, but she nodded. Her and Rhys glanced to each other. A silent conversation. You didnt care.

"Cas?" You squeezed his hand, and there he was. His pale face looked ragged. He seemed like he was struggling in every sort of way. You didnt want to imagine what he was looking at when he looked at your features. You could practically feel your cheeks sinking in, your bones losing their density. "I missed you." You smiled, trying to lift his mood.

His lips quivered, and he nodded. He kissed the back of your hand. "You wouldnt believe how much I missed you. All of us did." he glanced to Rhys. His face was blank, but that steady stream of power seemed to be crackling outside.

You let your eyes drift to each of your friends. Each of their tear stained faces were such a welcome relief. Over a month alone, their presence alone was enough to soothe that part of you that doubted their love.

Cassian kissed your forehead, before the healer's light knocked you into a peaceful sleep.

#cassian x reader #anon request #acotar #acotar fic

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danikamariewrites · 1 year ago

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ohhh my god imagine sitting between azriels legs and resting your face in his thigh while you tell him about your day and he just strokes your hair and just listens

Cling To You

Azriel x Reader

A/n: that picture is literally me writing this LMAO. Im in a mood where I need this Az so thank you for this request❤️

Warnings: none

Azriel lounged on the couch as he waited for you to come home from shopping. At the sound of the front door opening and closing he perked up. When you came into view Azriel gave you a small smile which you returned.

You dropped your bags and slink over to the couch and plop yourself between Azriel’s legs. You wrap your arms around his leg, resting your head on his thick thigh. Your eyes flutter shut as one of Azriel’s scarred hands reaches out and massages your scalp.

“Long day, princess?” “Mmhhm,” you mumble against his leg, snuggling into the soft fabric of his sweatpants.

“Exhausting too.” Your voice comes out small and tired. Azriel’s fingers continue their motion against your scalp. It felt so relaxing. Azriel always knew how to make you feel comfortable no matter what your day was like.

He paused smoothing your hair away from your face, tracing your forehead down the bridge of your nose. “Tell me about it,” he prompted. “Where to begin,” you sigh dramatically and squeeze his thigh tighter to your chest.

“Lunch with the girls was ok. Lacy is far too dramatic and made everything about herself. I don’t really like how my nails turned out. And I didn’t find anything I liked while shopping.” You rambled on and on about all the things that came up during your day. Not once did Azriel interrupt you.

He knew you just wanted him to listen, then if he could, make it better. Azriel always knew how to fix everything.

By the time you finished Azriel was bending over to reach your face, leaving kisses across your blushing skin. “I’m sorry princess. Tell you what, tomorrow we’ll go shopping somewhere else and I’ll buy you whatever you want.”

Azriel gently pulled you from his leg to sit on his lap. “You’re the best Az,” you smile, lazily playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

#acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar reader fic #acotar reader imagine #acotar imagine #azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #azriel x you #azriel fic #azriel fluff #azriel fanfic #azriel imagine

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starlightazriel · 4 months ago

Text

bee 8

desc: modern day bestfriends>lovers azriel au (fem reader)

warnings: lots of time jumps, rhys being rhys, arguing/angst, lying, az being unhinged in vegas (leave my bby alone he's not used to serious relationships), reader being insecure , SMUT ! (oral, az eating the booty like groceries (we been over this guys hes a freak), raw dogging, soft dom, self gratification,vibrator, squirting, spanking, cream pie), fluff, drug/alcohol addiction

A/N: IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG MY LIFE IS V V MESSY AND UNHINGED ALSO THIS ISNT FULLY PROOF READ

MOOD FOR THE BEGINNING OF THIS

wc: 5.9k

other parts can be found on my masterlist under azriel

eight

"I got us a massive suite at the four seasons for our trip this weekend," Rhys is grinning while showing Cassian a photo of what he had booked for them. Azriel suppressed the urge to roll his eyes, only Rhys would drop that big of a bag on a weekend work-stay, they were supposed to be location scouting. He didn't want to be ungrateful, but him and Bee were in their honeymoon phase... Everything was just going right, everything except the fact that Rhys wanted to move him hundreds of miles away.

"This weekend?" Azriel grimaces, leaning against the reception desk in the shop. Kat had gone home already and it was just Rhys, Cass and Azriel left. "What if I don't want to uproot my entire life here and move to Vegas?" he asks then, Cass shifts uncomfortably on his feet, looking between his two best friends.

Rhys' jaw flexed and he leaned back, tilting his chin up at Azriel in that power tripping way that he did so often. Azriels jaw flexed, his hands balling up at his sides as he stared Rhys down, not shying away from his intimidating frame. He knew challenging Rhys never ended well, sometimes he just couldn't help himself.

"You do realize that you have a contract, right Azriel? A contract that you signed, a contract that includes relocation if I see fit," Rhys voice is cool and unwavering as he assesses Azriel. "Maybe, if you had been sober while reading the contract, you would have known that was included," Rhys eyes narrowed, the tension in Azriels jaw grew, his temper flaring. "And maybe if you had been sober when we were talking about this trip weeks ago, you would have remembered that we were going this weekend to scout out a few potential new spaces," Rhys tone was unwavering, Cass winced behind him, it was always his job to keep the peace, usually between the three of them it was almost always Rhys and Az butting heads.

"Fuck this, I got dinner plans to get ready for," Azriels voice was a near growl now, and he didn't even bother to say good bye to either of his closest friends before he left them in the shop with a slam of the front door, the bells rattling at the top as it slammed shut.

His annoyance and Rhys' sheer entitlement had him needing to take the edge off. Az loved Rhys, of course he did, he was basically his brother- but that didnt mean they always agreed. Azriel tried not to think about Rhys' jabs at his sobriety while he took a quick sniff from his vile before heading home.

With Bee, it was just easy. Azriel didn't seem to have the same issues he did in the past with other women, being faithful to her came easy. He guessed it was because he always had been loyal to her in a sense, since they were just kids.

The past weeks had been a type of bliss that Azriel had never known, a different kind of high than the one he got from his drug of choice. They were fucking constantly, waking up together every morning, going on dates whenever they had time, fuck, he had even posted her which he had never done for anyone else... It was a picture of her at the beach, grinning so brightly it made his chest feel tight because he put that smile on her face. ive been so blind, was his only explanation under the photo.

And still, he wasn't able to bring himself to tell her about Rhys' Vegas plans for the next year. Everything was too perfect right now. Granted it had only been a few weeks since their first date, but he just didn't wanna mess everything up so soon, he wanted to live in this perfect little bubble just a little longer.

"Az? You with me?" she giggles softly, her dirty martini pulled to her lips, her eyes glowing as she looked at him from under dark lashes. "I think I want to get the vodka pappardelle," she places her glass down again and points to the menu.

"Yeah, whatever you want baby, sorry," he ran his finger through his hair, leaning back into his seat, flicking his eyes back down to the menu. "Just- I know it's last minute, I'm going on a little Vegas trip this weekend with Rhys and Cass," he waited a second before looking up and studied her face, absentmindedly messing with the straw in his own drink.

"A Vegas trip?" Bees eyebrows draw together, her attention was already on him, the menu forgotten, he swallowed. "Like Las Vegas?" she asks, a little more slowly this time. "Why are you guys going out there?" the concern, the uncertainty in her eyes made Azriels gut wrench. He knew he should tell her everything now, tell her that the possibility of him living there next year was becoming less of a possibility and more of a reality. Sure, when she was done with school, she could be a nurse anywhere... But that was still a ways away.

"Boys trip," he shrugs, and it wasn't exactly a lie, it just wasn't the full truth. She looked back at him skeptically, and he knew he had to change the subject soon.

"Boys trip, huh?" she leans back, raising an eyebrow skeptically. In the past- boys trips were really only meant for single Az.

"I'll be good," Az flashes her a smile, he knew he may have used the wrong choice of wording. A year ago, a boys trip to Vegas would have meant unlimited blow, maybe even a threesome, hooking up with randoms, losing all of his money. "Gonna gamble for sure though," he sips his drink, she's still looking at him with a skeptical look as if she knew there was more to the story. Luckily for Az the server came back for the rest of their order.

"Have we made some decisions?" she asks, looking between the two of them, Az only jerked his chin toward Bee, he liked the smile it put on her face to be able to choose everything for them so they could try it together.

"Yes we are going to share the duck pizza and the vodka pappardelle, you want oysters Az?" she lifts her eyes from the menu to look back at Azriel, he smirks and glances up at the server.

"Yeah, we'll start with a dozen," he shrugs and the waitress beams, making sure she had everything correct before leaving the table. "Thank you," he adds, but his eyes are back on Bee.

"So boys trip to Vegas, kinda last minute huh?" she quirks her brow again, leaning forward, her elbows on the table, Azriel tried not to let his eyes settle for too long on her breasts as they spilled slightly out of her top. Of course he wasnt lucky enough that she'd already forgotten about it.

"Yeah, I mean, I knew about it.. Just forgot," he shrugs easily, nudging her foot under the table, her eyes are hazy but he can still see that skeptical glint in them. He didn't want to lie, or leave parts of the truth out... But he also wanted to have a good night before he had to leave in a couple days, plus, she was working the rest of the week until he was gone anyway.

"Interesting," she murmurs, rubbing her finger against the base of her glass. "Anyway, you better bring something back for me," she shrugs before taking another sip from her martini.

"I wouldn't dream of coming back without something for my girl," he licks his lips, nudging her foot gently again under the table, her cheeks warm at his words and she rolls her eyes playfully at him. Az knew he was good at distracting her, though he wasn't sure if that was really a good thing or not.

"Yeah, yeah," she laughs softly, the sound made Azriels chest swell. "Thank you so much," she smiles softly as the runner sets the oysters down on the table between them.

"Can I grab you anything else?" the boy flashes her a cheeky grin that Azriel doesn't miss, he clears his throat as if to remind him he was sitting there across from her.

"More lemons," Az says boredly but there was an edge of annoyance in his tone, making the boys head snap to him and he blushed slightly, nodding his head. He didn't need more lemons, he just wanted to be difficult, the level of jealousy he felt when anyone even spoke to her was something he'd never experienced.

"Oh, of course, I'll be right back," he swallows, before running off back to the kitchen. Azriels eyes snap back to Bee, who's looking at him with pursed lips.

"Azriel, lay off the poor kid he's like eighteen," she shakes her head slightly, he noted that her martini was almost gone now, she was definitely feeling it. He only shrugs, smirking at her, stretching his legs out under the table so they were more than in her space, the skin of her bare calf pressed against his pants, she's nibbling on her lip, her eyes growing darker with lust. He loved how easy it was for him to get her going.

"Here you are, enjoy," hes back quickly and he places the small dish of lemons in front of Azriel.

"We will," Az only nods, Bee makes sure to utter a rushed thank you to him, shooting Azriel another look. "Don't look at me like that, lemme see you swallow," he smirks suggestively and she lets out a little puff of air her jaw dropping slightly but she couldn't help but smile.

"Azriel, don't be gross," she giggled quietly but she was still squeezing lemon onto the first oyster, he watched as the juice dripped off of her fingertips and she picked up the oyster, her eyes meeting his.

"That's it," he murmured, watching her tip her head back slightly and open her lips, her cheeks warmed at the gravelly tone of his voice. "Good practice for when I make you swallow something else tonight," he smirked, sipping from his drink while he watched her rest the shell on her lower lip, he watched her throat bob as she swallowed, humming softly in approval.

"Mmm those are good ones," she giggled softly, turning the shell over and placing it back on the ice.

"Youre a good one," his lips twitched in a sheepish smirk and she held his gaze, her own full of so much love it made his heart rate pick up.

"Az Im worried about you, cheesy much? youre definitely going soft on me," she grinned so brightly it made heat crawl up the back of his neck and onto his cheeks.

His cock was aching in his pants, he couldn't wait to get her back home. His jaw flexed before he muttered "you're going to be my end I swear."

"I should have stopped after the first two," I giggled quietly as I stumbled into my bedroom, kicking my heels off behind me, Azriel was right behind me, I could almost feel his eyes burning into my backside.

"I told you," he says in that low husky tone he often used with me these days, it was laced with so much need it made my head spin. "Anyway, Im glad now because it will give you courage for our reenactment."

"Reenactment?" I ask, turning to look at him now my brow slightly furrowed. "Of what?" I ask curiously, taking each of my earrings off, I had obviously been wearing the ones from Az, I had every day since he had gifted them to me. I had learned that he liked to get rough often, I didnt want to chance losing them so I tucked them away carefully in my jewelry box.

"Of the day I walked in on you," his voice was so calm and commanding it made my toes curl, my breath hitched, a warm tingling sensation spreading throughout my pussy. My cheeks warmed at the thought.

"Az- I can't..." I breathed out, my heart rate picking up at the thought of just purposefully touching myself in front of him.

"I didnt ask if you could. You will," he says, his voice so sure, and he was right. Knowing what he could do to me... Anything he told me to do, Id do it. Especially when he sounded like that. "I'll give you about five minutes to get situated, ten if youre lucky but I don't think I can be that patient. Im going to show you what I wanted to do to you," he adds, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. I was already moving before my brain could even process. My throat bobbed, my cheeks embarrassingly red as I retrieved the toy I had used that day from my top drawer and I left him alone in my room. It was annoying how easily he could render me speechless these days.

I slipped out of my dress and my panties, leaving them both on his bedroom floor, I didn't dare look at myself in the full length mirror he had. I let myself fall back onto his bed, inhaling his cedary scent just like I did that day he walked in on me.

My heart was racing as I spread my legs and placed my rose toy on my clit. I let out a small huff my eyes on Azriels open bedroom door as I let the toy suction softly to my pussy. My hand traveled up, caressing my skin gently before settling on my nipple, I rolled it gently between my fingertips. My breath hitched when he appeared in the door way, looking handsome as ever, my cheeks warmed at the sight of him. How had I gotten so lucky?

"That's my baby," Azriel chuckled darkly as he leaned against the door frame to his bedroom. I moaned softly when our eyes met, my cheeks turning pink. "Now if I had been bold enough that day, I would have got down on my knees like I'm about to now,"

"Az," I whimpered softly in desperation, the need for him starting to outweigh my nerves. It was hard to want to hide when he made me feel so sexy. A single look was enough to do me in.

"Shh baby," he hums softly and in one fluid motion, pulls me to the edge of the bed and slowly drops to his knees. I whimper softly as he brushes the sides of his face against my inner thighs, inhaling my scent before spreading my legs. I gasped softly my hand shaking slightly as I held my toy between my legs.

Azriel sucked gently and bit at the sensitive skin on my inner thighs, a guttural moan escaped my lips at the contrasting feeling. The sting of his little nibbles mixed with the soft buzz and suction from my toy had my back arching up. "Please Az," I gasped softly, I knew there would be little bruises peppered over my delicate skin.

"Please what baby?" he breathed out, his breath hot against my sensitive skin. My head was spinning, I didn't know if it was from the alcohol I'd drank at dinner or from the way he touched me, the way he took control, guided me. It just felt so right, so perfect.

"Please," I let a heavy breath pass through parted lips, my heart beating rapidly against my chest. "Please taste me, I need you," I begged softly, gasping as he pushed my legs up, the delicious scrape of his rough hands against my skin sending heat slithering down my spine.

"That's my good girl," he licked his lips at the sight of me, my legs spread and up in the air, bared to him except for my clit, the vibrator still buzzing around it. I was already so close, my cunt pulsating with need for him. My breath hitched when I felt his mouth on me, the slow lazy roll of his tongue on my second hole sending stars dancing in my eyes. I hummed softly, tossing my head back and letting my eyes squeeze shut, goosebumps raising all over my skin.

"F-fuck Az," I breathed out, the new sensation making my mind go numb. His thumbs pressed harder into the backs of my thighs, I arched my back slightly, gasping again for breath as he circled his tongue around and around my opening. He held my legs open as they threatened to close, quivering pathetically underneath his touch. It was only a matter of seconds before I was cumming, his name ringing out through the room, making him moan against me. My vibrator fell from my hand, gently hitting his cheek before rolling onto the floor next to him. I panted, my hips wriggling underneath him as he sucked the sensitive skin between my pussy and my ass before covering my entire cunt with his mouth. "Ohh my- fuck-" each word came out in a pathetic broken moan as he shook his head between my legs. I couldn't hold it back anymore and I was squirting all over his face, he moaned against me, pulling off of my pussy with a soft sucking sound.

He gently licked me down from my high, my body jerking with the aftershocks of my intense orgasms. "Damn baby I didnt know you could do that," his eyes are so dark and hazy with lust as he kisses back up my body, hes back on his feet now, hovering over me. "My little sprinkler," he teases before biting down softly on my nipple, I yelped softly, my body jerking.

"Az, I need you so fucking bad," I breathed out my eyes meeting with his. He grinned in that lazy way he did his face still glistening with my cum. He looked so damn happy, it made my heart sing. It had been a bit of a rare sight these last couple years... But these past few weeks? He had been nothing but happy, it made my chest swell knowing I was the cause of that happiness.

"I was gonna put my cock in your mouth first but since you've been so good we'll save it for later," he stood up straight, looking down at me hungrily, my legs laying lazily over the edge of the bed now. He undid his pants, his eyes never leaving me as he dropped them to the floor. "Lay on your stomach," he commanded, his voice gravelly. He watched me readjust myself, cursing quietly under his breath as I lay on my stomach across his bed before him.

I let out a moan when his hand unexpectedly connected with my ass with a loud slapping sound, the sting sending my toes curling. He gently lifted me up, his arm wrapping around my torso and lifting up with ease. He slid a pillow underneath to prop me up perfectly. Azriel gently rubbed his rough fingers over the tender spot he had smacked, humming in approval. "Ive wanted to do that since I watched you walk away from me in the hall that day," he admits, only earning a whimper in response from me. I was so ready for him to fuck me into nothing.

I shivered as Azriel slowly slid his fingertips over my shoulders and down my arms gently wrapping his large scarred fingers around the tips of his fingers pressing into the insides of my elbows as he pulled my arms behind my back. He used one hand to pin my wrists to my lower back, I whimpered softly, begging him for his cock again as his hand tightened on my wrists, his large hands finding no trouble.

He used his other hand to guide his cock toward my pussy, not bothering with a condom. If it was one thing about Az, we were fucking raw, every time. He slid his tip over my slick cunt, teasing gently before sinking into me, cursing softly under his breath as he did. "Yes please fuck me, please," I begged desperately, the side of my face pressed into his bed.

"That's my girl, so wet and tight for me," his fingers were gripping the bed beneath me, his mouth almost by my ear now as he moved in and out of me his cock filled me up over and over.

I moaned his name again, arching my back up for him, he hissed under his breath and spanked me again, I felt my ass jiggle under his big hand, the sting made my body jerk. "I love how you fuck me," I whimpered softly, feeling like a puddle beneath him, he still my hands pinned to my back, he let out a low groan from deep in his throat, up on his knees as he slammed his hips over and over against my ass.

I let out another broken moan, his considerable length dragging over my g spot every time he thrusted himself into me, I couldnt hold it in anymore and I came all over his cock with my third orgasm of the night, stars danced behind my eyes my body tensing underneath him. I couldnt stop the scream that left my lips as he continued fucking me, cursing again softly and squeezing my tender and red flesh from his spanks. "Ohh yesss Az..." I moaned again, his thrusts lost their rhythm as he grew closer, his breath heavy and erratic behind me.

"Mmm baby you're so fucking sexy," he breathed out before letting out a low guttural groan. "I'm gonna fill up that pretty little cunt," he grunted in my ear and with a few more thrusts I cried out softly at the feeling of his thick ropes of cum spilling into my pussy. So damn good. "Fuck," he breathed slowly pulling his hands from my wrists, my arms fell back at my sides and I whimpered softly as he slowly pulled his cock from my pussy. He swore again under his breath, "Stay just like that," he muttered, leaning over and grabbing his phone from the bedside table, and I felt him slap his still semi hard cock on my ass cheek. "For later," I could hear the grin in his voice as he snapped a picture of his gleaming cock against my ass. I just whimpered softly in response, my body feeling limp my mind numb. He tossed his phone aside on the bed and flipped me over onto my back and placed a soft kiss to my lips.

I had been waiting to get fucked like this for years. None of my past lovers had ever been able to compare to the way that Az made me feel, though if things hadn't gone the way they did with Az I probably would have ended up giving Eris another chance.

"You're so damn good at fucking," I huffed out, looking up at him with hazy satisfaction. "It's not fair," he just laughed and leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead and then my lips. I let my eyes flutter shut again as he tucked my hair behind my ear before he muttered "let's get you cleaned up baby."

"Send me lots of pictures," Bee flashes her biggest grin, hugging Azriel so tightly. He smiled down at her, squeezing her back and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. He was glad she had brought them to the air port, it gave him just a little extra time with her.

"I promise baby I will, I'm gonna miss you," he rubs small circles into her back, savoring the last few minutes they had together before he was on the plane.

"Be good okay?" she drops her voice lower, Rhys and Cass were standing off to the side waiting for him while he said his last goodbyes. He could tell she didn't want them to hear this part. "Just like- stick to drinking and bud okay? Just don't want you to buy something without knowing what it is for sure first.." she mumbles softly, biting down gently on her lip.

Az sighs quietly, pulling away slightly at her words, he knew she meant well but he couldn't help but get the tiniest bit annoyed. "I'm gonna be fine, chill off me," he chuckled quietly but leaned down and pressed one more kiss to her lips, because he know she was only saying that because she cared about him... She had never exactly supported his extracurricular activities. "I'll be good, and you better be good too," he warns playfully, but there was a slight edge in his tone so she would know he did mean it. "You're mine now, I don't want to hear about any red headed visitors," he raises an eyebrow and she pursed her lips, glaring lightly at him.

"Azriel. You know I would never-"

"I know," he cuts her off, brushing a lock of her hair behind her ear. "I gotta go baby, text me when you're home safe alright? I'll text you when I land," he opens his arms one last time to crush her in good bye hug, she hums softly tucking her chin into his neck and inhaling his scent.

"I love you," she mumbles softly, he just grinned and hugged her even tighter, he kissed the top of her head, not daring to utter it back yet. Some things he just wasn't ready for.

He had told her he loved her dozens of times, but he knew the next time he said those words to her, they would carry a whole different weight.

It was evening on the second day when they finally made it out onto the strip, the first day had been filled with scouting out locations. Rhys had already signed a lease, much to his own surprise, he thought he'd have to come back a few times before finding the perfect spot for their new shop. The signing was followed by a very late dinner and a few bottles of champagne before they retreated back to the massive suite Rhys had got for them.

Azriel had to admit, he liked it here. He was having a blast with his brothers, and he hadn't wanted to admit it before but he could see himself living here. He knew this would be a level up for him, he would make way more money out here... Plans were already stirring in his head for how he would convince Bee to move out here with him, she would have to transfer schools, quit her job... He knew that was a lot to ask. He couldn't imagine not living with her anymore...

"Sin city baby!!! AZ! Get outta your head man do you see this shit?" Cass had been excited since the moment they stepped off the plane yesterday, they were all quite fucked up now. They had been gambling all night, winning and losing money and had now settled in one of the nicest clubs Azriel had ever been in. There was half naked bottle girls everywhere, and of course Rhys had got them a VIP section with bottle service included.

"Oh I see it," Azriel laughs softly, catching the eyes of the bottle girl who was leaning very close to him as she poured shots for the three of them. She was definitely giving him the eyes. Azriel had to look away then, turning his head back toward Cass. "I'm just fucked up," against Bees wishes, the first thing he had done this morning was purchase a gram.

"Better hope that shit didn't have fenty in it," Rhys turns his head to look at Az, who rolls his eyes in response.

"It's doesn't," he snaps back, before downing another shot, he didn't even know how many he'd had at this point. "It's just good shit you want a line?" he raises his eyebrows, there had been a time the three of them did this all together. Az just never grew out of it...

"I'll take one man, I'm in fucking Vegas!" Cass shouts, earning a laugh from Az who simply passed the little white bag over. This was one thing about Vegas he liked, the freedom of just being able to do a line in the club and no one even batted a single eye because it was Vegas, and obviously one of them had money if they had a VIP here.

"Some day the two of you will grow up," Rhys sighs before beckoning the bottle girl over for the list of bottles they could purchase.

"Get the Clase Rhys we are celebrating!" Cass voice boomed out and he shot to his feet, shaking his head with the effect the drugs had on him. Azriel just laughed and snatched his little bag back from him.

"Easy," Az laughs again, catching the bottle girls eye again, he didn't mean to, she was fucking staring. She flashed him a seductive little grin before retreating to get the bottle that Rhys had ordered.

He knew a few months ago he would have flirted a little and ended up taking her back to the room. He wasn't single anymore though, and the pain it would cause Bee just for him to get his nut off for a night while he was on his boys trip, it just wasn't worth it. Plus, he needed her to know he wasn't that guy anymore. He wanted to be everything for her.

"No fucking way," my phone tightened in my hand as I stared down at it, Kat and I were out to brunch, she figured we should have a little girls weekend while the boys were away. So finally we were able to do something since I had Sunday off, Az wouldn't be landing back home until late tonight.

"What is it?" Kat asks, lifting her eyes from her plate.

"Go look at fucking Cassian's instagram," I said through gritted teeth as I swiped through each photo from their apparent escapades lastnight.

There was my Az, my Az... Grinning wickedly, leaning over, face smushed between the tits of two bottle girls who were wearing nothing but lingerie to cover their most intimate bits. He had his arms around each of them, a drink nearly spilling over one of their shoulders. His pupils were blown out, clearly he hadn't listened to me about staying away from drugs out there. My heart was sinking further with the scroll of each photo. There was another snap shot of him dancing with one of them, she was bent over, her ass shaking on him, one of his hands loosely on her waist.

"Oh fuuuck.." Kat drew out the word, her eyes widening as she looked down at the photos on her phone.

"Yeah fuck is right," I locked my phone, tossing it on the table next to me before downing the rest of my mimosa. "I fucking knew it, he hasn't changed even a little bit- As soon as he said boys trip I-"

"Boys trip?" she asked, drawing her eyebrows together. "That's what he told you?" she asks, biting her lip and gnawing on it a bit. What the fuck did she know?

"Kat...?" I say slowly, meeting her eyes, her cheeks are flushed as if she had just said something she knew she shouldn't have.

"I- I'm sure Az is going to tell you- I don't think it's my place to-"

"Just spit it out," I was starting to get more angry, the gnawing feeling of shame starting to eat at my stomach. "What do you know?!" I demanded and she loosed a breath, leaning back in her seat.

"Bee- I swear I thought he told you- Please don't tell him it was me that said anything I'm sure he's just waiting for-"

"Just spit it out Kat," I repeat, an impatient edge to my tone. What had he kept from me?

"It was a location scouting trip- For-for the new shop that Rhys is opening up with Az and Cass in Vegas," her voice is soft now, and she's almost wincing as she waits for my reaction.

Just like that... It felt like everything had been some sick game to pass the time. My stomach turned, I felt like I was going to lose everything I had eaten on our little brunch date.

"I'm so fucking stupid," I breathed softly, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes. I really thought I knew him better than that... I never expected him to pull some shit like this. To keep something this big from me.

Azriel groaned loudly as he rolled over, the silky sheets slipping from his skin as he reached for his phone. He smiled, noticing the few notifications he had from Bee, his face quickly fell, and he was sitting up straight in an instant rubbing his eyes.

good morning!! can't wait to see you tonight

Normal, but the message below that one, and the notification that she stopped sharing her location? Definitely not normal. They had been sharing location for years, basically since it had become an option.

going to visit my family for a couple days i'll talk to you when i get back.

He quickly typed out a response.

everything okay baby?

He knew he had forgotten to face time her lastnight before he went to bed, but he was so fucked up he couldn't even remember getting home. And it had to have been almost 5 am when they had gotten back to the resort. She had asked him before they left to face time her before he went to sleep both nights, surely she couldn't be that mad over that, could she?

As he padded into the little kitchen that was built into the suite, his eyes were glued to his phone. He opened instagram next, and his stomach twisted slightly when he pressed her story and it was one of those dumb quotes girls tended to post after getting dumped about never really being able to know someone.

Fuck what did I do? his face had gone a little pale, the contents of the michelin star dinner they had lastnight and all the alcohol he had consumed bubbled in his stomach, he was racking his brain, trying to piece together the night, he couldn't really remember much of anything once they had left the casino and got to the club.

All he had to do was scroll down to the top post on his feed and his face paled. "Cass are you fucking dumb?" he's in Cassians part of the suite before he can even think shaking him awake.

"What the fuck man?" Cass groans, rolling over and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Rhys was behind them now, he had been up for an hour or two already.

"You saw the instagram post didn't you?" Rhys chuckles from behind him, holding his coffee cup in hand, leaning against the door frame.

"You think this shits funny?" He demands, whirling around to direct his attention to Rhys. As angry as he was at Cass, he knew it was only his fault that he had bought coke and got completely black out shit faced drunk. "Man fuck both of you," he growls and turns on his heel, storming to the bathroom and slamming the door behind him.

a/n: sorry but if it's one thing abt me yk i love drama

taglist: @smalljasper289 @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @scorpioriesling @userxs-blog @lilah-asteria @abadfantasybook @judeduartewannbe @lindsayscottagebythesea @velarisdusk @serxndipity-ipity-blog @julesvanslutta

#acotar #azriel smut #acotar fanfiction #acotar fic #acotar smut #azriel fanfic #azriel fic #azriel spymaster #azriel fan fiction #azriel fluff #azriel x you #azriel fanfiction #azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel au #azriel acotar

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desertofsnowflakes · 3 years ago

Text

Incorrect Order Chapter 4 (Nessian AU)

A/N: I know I haven't been able to update as fast as you'd want me to but I'll try to fix that. Your comments and feedbacks are very much appreciated. Do inform me if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist! If you happen to find my storyline similar to another fic or one of yours, I'm extremely sorry, I might've just not known. All characters belong to the author Sarah J. Mass. Enjoy!

Summary: Don't first impressions always affect the way you see someone? Well, what more with the Nesta Archeron? Nesta meets Cassian at few unexpected places and to say it didn't go well was a major understatement. Certain circumstances make them become enemies to tolerable company to friends to lovers.

Trigger Warnings: None really

1652words | Incorrect Order Masterlist | Read on AO3

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The best way to keep whatever problems one has out of their mind was to do something they liked. That was the only way Cassian kept from spiraling. Since sending the woman to her own house, Cassian had more than a few moments when he wanted to repeatedly slam his head against a wall. That’s why he spent most of his time sparring with Azriel. He won’t admit he was simping for that woman in his free time too. Or maybe that was always.

Now, sprawled on a couch in front of the TV, with nothing to do but stare at a blank screen, Cassian led his thoughts to the box he kept all unwanted thoughts locked in. He thought about Tomas, her ex-boyfriend. Funny, he thought. I know her ex's name but not hers.

It took him a little too long the other day to realise they didn't exchange names. Again. He once thought that maybe she was purposely not giving him her name. That maybe, for her, he was just a random stranger who happened to save her life. He snorted. Surely anyone would know the name of the person they saved or was saved by— stranger or not. He supposed he'll have to make do with pronouns for now.

After she left his home, it took every scrap of self-restraint not to beat this Tomas dude to pulp and let him rot in the same alley he had the misfortune of meeting him in. He may or may not have been the cause for some extra injuries. Cassian appreciated the woman’s attempt at mercy. He, however, didn’t trust Tomas at all. He was dubious about just handing him over to the police. Who’s to know he won’t frame him and the woman for absurd things? Anyway, he left a note in Tomas’s house saying something like “Step out of line, lose your favourite part of anatomy. Name it and have it for your meal.” He made sure he printed so that no one would recognise his writing. Yet, all this didn’t calm his nerves one bit. He presumed he’ll have to stay on guard for some time now.

Now, back to the girl. He sighed. He didn’t dare change the sheets in his guest bedroom. He didn’t even let Mor use the room when she came over last weekend— which he could bet created suspicion. No, that room was only open when he craved her scent. He even realised one of his shirts was missing. He shrugged it off thinking he would've left it somewhere and just couldn't find it. Once she came to his house, he was constantly thinking about her. So much that now he started pinching himself often. It was the only way he could stop thinking about her— by creating physical pain.

Cassian glanced at the clock on the wall. 2.30 in the afternoon. He walked to the refrigerator and checked his freezer compartment. Huh. No ice-cream. He sighed, grabbed his jacket and keys and headed to the mall to get an ice-cream with a pout. He’ll have to leave for Rhys and Feyre’s first anniversary only around 5.30 to prepare everything. He has enough time to get an ice-cream and probably hang out for some time. Good enough to stop thinking about her. Or so he thought.

***

Nesta wasn’t sore anymore. Her headache was gone almost a week after the incident. Her nose didn’t hurt anymore. Okay, maybe a little bit. It didn’t hurt unless she bumped her nose against something. Today, her nose was dully throbbing because she hit her nose against a pillow yesterday. A very, very soft pillow and yet it hurt this much.

The man’s first-aid and medicines were really helpful.

It really wasn’t fair that he excelled at basic first aid too. It wasn’t fair that he looked so good. With black tattoos swirling over generously muscled arms and shoulder-length dark hair curling at the edges and gloriously tanned skin and hazel eyes with minute flecks of green and brown when taken a closer look at and dimples and—

A quiet “Who is it?” snapped Nesta out of her moping. She looked up to see Gwyn walking to her.

“Who is what?” she asked, feigning nonchalance. Gwyn's pursed lips and glare conveyed that her act wasn't enough.

“Who are you thinking about?” Gwyn clarified.

“What makes you think I'm thinking about someone?” Nesta retorted.

Gwyn sat on the chair next to her and started assisting with classifying the unceremonious heap of books on the table to be kept back in its correct positions on its own rack.

“Nesta,” Gwyn sighed, “Clotho assigned you this stack almost an hour ago. And you've barely finished a third of the stack. Normally, you'd finish stacks bigger than this in an hour. So there's clearly something.”

“It wasn't anyone,” Nesta mumbled.

As usual, Gwyn saw through her lie. “You were twirling your hair,” she said flatly.

Heat inched up her neck. “I was not!”

Gwyn murmured a “uh-huh” and they lapsed into an easy silence till they were almost over.

Gwyn's eyes lit up as it normally did whenever she got an idea. “Is it him? The guy you came with that day?”

Nesta scowled, “How do you know…” she broke off when she realised which 'that day' Gwyn was talking about. Nesta fought back a blush. “No, no, this isn't about him. We don't know each other. Much. Like, we've seen each other a number of times? That's it. Nothing else.” Cauldron, the first part was a complete lie. But at least the rest are true. Will Gwyn happen to know his name? Maybe I ought to ask her. Or maybe I shouldn't.

She should, she decided. She cleared her throat. “Uh, Gwyn? Do you happen to know his name?”

Gwyn frowned and asked, “He hasn't told you yet?”

Nesta shook her head and answered, “No, we, uh, forgot. I guess. We haven't really exchanged names.”

Gwyn nodded and smiled. “Well, he is—”

“Gwyn!” a voice called. “You can't expect me to come over to you and beg for you to help me. Help me only if you want to or don't work under me.”

Gwyn’s eyes widened. She abruptly stood up and mouthed, “Merrill. I gotta go. I’m so sorry.” She all but ran to Merrill, the very strict librarian Gwyn was working under.

Nesta sighed and continued her work. There wasn’t much left so she was able to finish fast. She picked her things and left the library with a word to Clotho, heading to the mall.

***

The best way to keep whatever problems one has out of their mind was to also eat something they liked. So, ice-cream it was. After having his ice-cream, Cassian was aimlessly walking around the mall. Here, not more than a month ago, he met her for the first time. Almost a month ago. He huffed out a breath. The fact that he was pining for her this long blew his mind off. He—

“This is your fault— not mine. I’m not taking the blame for this,” he told her. They bumped into each other. Again.

Her lips quirked up. “It is kind of my fault. But blame this—,” she poked his chest, “— for making my nose hurt again.”

Just like that, his mood sobered. “How are you?” he asked.

She pointed at the cafe to her left. “Coffee?”

He nodded. Who was he to say no to her?

So they ordered coffee and talked about everything and nothing. He grinned and she laughed. He laughed and she smirked. He wouldn’t say he knew her well but he’d never seen her so carefree. Her laugh was like nectar for a starving man. Her eyes bright and welling up with tears from laughing.

“I don’t think I’ve laughed this much,” she said.

Cassian put a hand on his heart dramatically and said, “I know, I know. I’m very funny.”

Her lips kicked up a notch. She straightened as if she just realised something. He was about to ask when she drawled, “So I just realised that we still haven’t exchanged names.”

Oh. Right. Of course. “Yeah,” he nodded. “Usually, when people meet, they start with introductions but in our case we’ve literally bumped into each other three times and still we don’t know each other.” He shook his head and extended his hand. “Well, hello there. I’m—”

His phone rang in his pocket. Fuck. He was going to kill whoever was calling him now. He was so close to knowing her name. He pulled out his phone to see an incoming call from Azriel. He apologetically looked up at her and said, “I’m sorry. I wish I could choose not to take this call and instead kill this idiot but I can’t. Just give me a moment, okay?”

She nodded and he picked up his call.

“What do you want?” he hissed.

“It’s 5.30 already, you idiot. We’ve got to get the things ready for the party. Mor already went to get the cake and you’re not even at home. Where on all earth and hell are you?” came Az’s faint voice.

“15 minutes only? Mother above, I’m coming.” he said.

Az’s “make it fast” was the last thing he heard before hanging up. “I wish we could stay here and talk forever,” he said to her, “but I have something up in a short while and I totally didn’t realise time was passing this fast. I’m so sorry. It was nice talking to you. Really. And I wish we could meet again. Though without the bumping part.”

He grinned when she smiled and said, “Bye. Have a nice day.”

“You too,” he called back. He didn’t want to think he imagined the subtle look of disappointment on her face because hell, he was a walking epitome of disappointment right now.

taglist:

@shadowsinger07 @im-someone-i-guess @saltyfortunes @cressjacquine @julian-blackthorn-supremacy @champanheandluxxury @zemiraa @ladygabrielli1997 @nehemikkele @heartless--aromantic @sv0430 @ddsworldofbooks @irenethaleia @sjm-things @dontgetsalmonella

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confused-as-all-hell · 3 years ago

Note

Hey ..

I really love your posts!

So it would be great if you write some Nyx hcs or fanfic ....Like learning how to control his powers and spend time with the IC

Or feyre spending time with the Valkyrie

Psst if you ship nyx and rowaelin’s daughter then that too....

hi! i would be honored to, and thanks for the kind comment :))

Nyx:

Nyx was his mother's son.

He had her features, her troublemaker grin, her bubbly laugh that sounded of hope. He knew her step in the hallway better than any, knew the warning note in her voice that meant tears, knew when she was in the mood to take him out soaring over their city.

He clung to her fingers, made grabs for her earrings, seized her familiar face between his chubby hands and kissed her nose.

When he showed his first signs of power, it was Feyre who dragged him up to the House of Wind. It was Feyre who taught him to control the wisps of night. It was Feyre who soothed scrapes and kissed wounds.

It was his mother who showed him kindness when the world was determined to me cruel.

Not that the rest of his family didn't try.

Nyx could so often be seen toddling around the House of Wind with Uncle Cas, or sleeping on a sun-drenched balcony with Auntie Nesta.

He was glimpsed soaring around Velaris with a grinning Uncle Az, or wandering the streets with Aunt Gwyn.

Elain loved to take him around the gardens, and Lucien would toss him up in the air until he screamed with laughter.

Mor gave him his first blade, a handy little silver knife, and Emerie was the one to take it away and scold them both, but she couldn't stifle her smile.

Amren was the one to place a slew of protective measures against Nyx, and she was always there, cold and irate, perhaps, but there.

Rhys loved him without any strings attached, without repremandment or irritation or anger. He loved him, so simply.

But Feyre didn't just give him love.

She gave him kindness, and showed him respect. She taught him laws and politics, often seated in Rhys' office over a cup of hot chocolate.

She gave him warmth as she herself had never known, not as a little girl.

Her smile was always kind, and her hands gentle, and laughter on her lips.

Nyx had never known bitterness, for even a second, at his mother's knee.

Only love.

(hhh sorry its so rushed, im super busy rn, but ill be happy to write the rest of these later, just send another ask, and ill do it gladly :))

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thespianbooks · 4 years ago

Text

A Court of Nightmares and Starlight //Chapter Seventeen//

Masterlist

(tags: @thron3ofbooks, @df3ndyr, @courtofjurdan, @art-e-mis, @herondamnn, @the-third-me, @im-still-trying-here, @emikadreams, @paytin77, @mis-lil-red, @sleeping-and-books, @lucieisabooknerd, @amandaraey-sunshine, @easy-p-lemon, @azymondias05, @dagypsygirl, @makeshift-utopia) *bold tags don’t work ;-;

...I’m sorry ^^;

Something wasn't right.

"It doesn't make sense," Cassian said; all of us gathered around the map laid out on the large table in the library. "I've rotated my most trusted legion across every single Illyrian camp since the summit, including the ones we know haven't sided with Kallon—just in case, and nothing."

Azriel shook his head, as equally astonished as Cassian was at the lack of intel they had been working tirelessly to achieve in the last couple of weeks.

"My spies haven't found anything either, on any front." He said, hazel eyes growing hard as they scanned over the maps and reports spread out before us.

Two months had officially passed since our summit meeting and our tenure of peace was now plagued by stress. In the months that passed, Cassian and Azriel worked together to keep a watchful eye on the traitors in our court—the latter keeping his network of spies focused on Keir and his Darkbringer army, while the former kept a strict watch on the rebellious Illyrian camp lords. As our second and third in command, Mor and Amren not only attended to their duties in Velaris, but also visited the Hewn City on mine and Rhys's behalf—a show of force and distraction while Azriel's spies lurked in the shadows. In the last few weeks, Rhys and I corresponded with the other High Lords and Eris, updating them on whatever intel we managed to gather, and them offering us any information they might have regarding the Autumn Court and promising to keep alert on their end.

But as of late, there was nothing. No movement whatsoever from Keir, Kallon, or Beron.

We initially received a report a couple of weeks following the summit that our steward had called for a stall in his plans, and because of that we assumed the trio were biding their time in order to regroup and organize new plans to strike before my due date—now a short twenty-odd weeks away, but it was taking them too long.

No, something definitely wasn't right, and we all knew it.

"Is it possible they're folding back on the coup?" Elain asked, amid the tense silence that had befallen us.

Nesta placed a hand on the back of her chair, standing just to her side with Cassian on the other. "Keir wouldn't just give up on killing Feyre, the High Lord, or their child," she said, as blunt as ever.

I grimaced and Mor threw her a disapproving stare, but Amren loosed a long-held breath through her nose.

"The girl is right. They aren't pulling back on their plans now, but they are plotting something." she said, turning her silver gaze to Rhys and me.

I sighed, an idle hand running along the line of my belly—a considerable size now that I was nearing the end of the second stage of pregnancy. The baby inside was mercifully calm in light of the topics we discussed, which I was thankful for since my other symptoms weren't; a dull headache creeping in at my temples since I awoke this morning, and my lower back muscles sore with my new weight.

I drummed my fingers on the tabletop, readjusting myself in the chair I sat in for the hundredth time since the start of our meeting. "Could Keir be plotting something on his own?" I asked as Rhys offered me a hand up, wanting to help mitigate some of the ache in my back and hips temporarily.

"It's possible," he answered as I took his hand, standing with a heavy sigh.

I kneaded a sore spot on my back as I turned to look at Cassian and Azriel—who were watching me with equal concern and glancing at my swollen stomach. "Your reports say that Kallon hasn't corresponded much lately with Keir?" I asked, addressing Azriel.

The shadowsinger cast a wary glance at my mate, something they had all begun doing recently anytime they had bad news to share—as if they were afraid the information would harm me or the baby. The only ones who didn't tip-toe around me were Amren and Nesta, and I was grateful for it. As increasingly uncomfortable as I was becoming the more my belly grew, my mood swings now tended to lean more and more towards irritation. The last thing I needed was everyone trying to handle me as if I were made of porcelain.

I sighed in frustration. "You don't need to coddle me, Az. None of you do. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I can't handle reading reports or operating during the threat of a coup." I snapped, harsher than I meant to.

I felt Rhys rest a hand on the small of my back; knowing he gave the spymaster a curt nod of approval, and Azriel, Mother bless him, dipped his head in apology. "You're right. Most of the messengers sent between them with letters or verbal messages have come from Kallon but have gone ignored in the last few weeks."

"From what I've seen, the stupid sot has been feeling slighted by that bastard and he's called off sending those imploring letters to the camp lords who haven't yet sided with him." Cassian added, "He's waiting for Keir."

"Because he knows he needs them," Mor scoffed.

"The steward is definitely concocting something," Amren said coolly and motioned to my sisters.

"Tell them what you saw, girl," she said to Elain.

We all turned to her, Nesta going rigid at her side—nails digging into the wood of Elain's chair.

"You saw something?" I asked her.

She frowned as she nodded, scanning the other faces in the room. "I had a vision the other night, of Vassa. She's our ally so I didn't think much of it at first, but last night the vision came to me again and it was...different," she explained, her eyes beginning to go vacant as she recalled the details.

"What happened in the vision?" Azriel asked, trying to gently coax her back in the conversation.

Her eyes were still distant as she turned her attention to him, as if he grounded her during these moments. "I saw just her face at first, she looked distraught as she gave some kind of warning. I couldn't make out the exact words," she said, shame quivering her voice as she looked at her lap.

"That's okay, Elain." Azriel said, stepping closer to her side and to my surprise, Nesta didn't flinch. "What else?" he asked again.

Elain sighed shakily. "Then, last night...I saw her face again, giving the same warning, and then...a weeping firebird sweeping over land before setting fire to it."

My eyes went wide, turning to look at Rhys as we both recalled the connection her new vision had with the previous one from months ago. A great-winged animal sweeping over a grassy knoll. Only now we knew that animal was a firebird, one that Elain also warned us of during the war. We all must've had the same realization, because within seconds we exchanged worried glances. Silent conversations passing mind-to-mind between my mate and his brothers, as well as Mor and Amren.

"I'm sorry," Elain whispered, staring at her lap again. "For not saying anything sooner, I just assumed her warning was about the coup. I didn't get any other details until I saw it in my dreams."

"You didn't do anything wrong Elain," I said reassuringly. "We're all working with the information we have."

Rhys nodded. "Cassian and Azriel will go to the Mortal Lands and check in with Vassa, Jurian and Lucien. I'll send a letter ahead of them, and we can hope we get there before Keir does."

"You think Keir will move against the Mortal Lands?" Nesta asked, silent horror hidden behind those blue-grey eyes.

"He knows of the ties Lucien has with them. If he can take them down and sever whatever bond Lucien has with the Queen before they can ally with us against him, that's an advantage for him with the Autumn Court," Cassian explained.

"We need to monitor them as well," I added quickly. "In case Beron decides to work on Keir's behalf to sweeten the pot in whatever deal they've struck."

"I'll send my spies," Azriel said, nodding at me in acknowledgement.

"You'll both leave tomorrow," Rhys ordered them. His violet eyes were hardened, wings flaring slightly as they began detailing out new plans.

Go with them. I urged through the bond.

The hand that held my waist only tightened slightly. I can't leave you behind, Feyre, not with something like this brewing

I'll be safe with Mor and Amren here in Velaris.

I'm going to take you and your sisters to the Cabin until we get word back from Cassian and Azriel. Mor and Amren can guard Velaris

Or you can leave me and my sisters at the Cabin and meet up with Azriel and Cassian.

He gave me a weary look, but I squeezed his hand. The three of us will be safe there. No one outside our family knows of its location, and no one can winnow inside. We'll be taken care of until you three return, and you can keep me updated.

I saw the contemplation swirl in his violet eyes, knew that behind his adamant shields he saw the sense in my words but was still reluctant. His hand came to rest on my stomach carefully, earning a delightful kick from our son—who seemed to have awoken during our silent exchange.

I can't leave you. And even through the bond I could hear the strain in his voice.

I sighed, but before I could argue further, Cassian cleared his throat. "We'd be better suited if we had the High Lord at our side, since the High Lady is incapacitated at the moment."

Azriel nodded in agreement, "If there is a threat to the Mortal Lands, we'll need a more competent diplomat present to warn and ready them for the strike."

Rhys's gaze hardened again as he met his brothers urging stares. They knew as well as I did that my mate was on edge, his nerves only growing more unsettled in recent weeks, making him more protective of me and our child. He hardly left my side at all these past few months, so the opportunity to go out and perform his duties as High Lord would help alleviate the tension growing through our bond once again.

I squeezed his hand reassuringly, those hardened violet eyes growing softer as they met with mine. We'll be waiting here, safe, until you come back. Go warn our friends in the Mortal Lands, and then we can finally take care of Keir.

His eyes landed on my stomach once again before he loosed a breath through his nostrils and nodded in acknowledgement at his brothers.

XXX

"Do you think she's alright?" Elain asked.

Her quiet inquiry interrupted my stormy thoughts as I stared out the window of the sitting room. Only a couple of hours had passed since the Illyrian brothers carried us up to the safety of the cabin; Cassian holding Nesta, Azriel taking a flushed Elain, and Rhys hauling me and my swollen belly. I had made a sly comment about the burden of my new weight to Rhys in the hopes to ease his apprehensiveness and was glad when he smugly reassured me of his otherworldly strength with his trademark feline grin, before depositing me on the steps leading to the Cabin. My heart tugged at the memory of the two of us having escaped here only weeks before, but we all knew this was the safest place for me and my sisters at the moment. Mor and Amren remained in Velaris, as we had all agreed on, and moved to monitor the city from the House of Wind as an extra precautionary step.

I turned away from the window, having stared at the mountains surrounding us since Rhys kissed me and my belly goodbye. "Vassa is fierce, and well-guarded thanks to Lucien and Jurian," I reassured her.

"She's still got that curse," Nesta scoffed from her place on the loveseat across from where Elain sat.

Elain frowned and I glared at my eldest sister. "Yes, but thanks to the bargain father made for her temporary release, we've been able to extend it and she hasn't been forced into her firebird form in over a decade," I explained.

"But my visions haven't been wrong yet. What if she is forced into it?" Elain pressed.

I sighed and crossed over to where she sat, using the arm of the chair to help lower myself onto the plush seat—noting how cautiously Nesta eyed my movements. "We still don't know what your vision meant. Perhaps Vassa shifts into her firebird form in order to aid us in the coup?"

"She was weeping as she set the fire," Nesta interjected.

I sighed and pressed a hand against my temple, messaging it lightly in an attempt to relieve the stress beginning to build up. Elain leaned over to rest her hand over mine gently, "Let's talk about something else. You were right, Vassa is strong and we won't know anything until Rhysand, and the others return."

I nodded in agreement with a faint smile, moving my hand to rest on my stomach. "How have you been feeling? You've been so busy serving as High Lady that Nesta and I haven't seen you much lately," she asked.

Nesta interrupted before I had a chance to reassure her. "You need to allow yourself more time to rest. You're nearing the end stages of your pregnancy, and the strain of all of this isn't good for your youngling. Let that High Lord and assistant of yours take care of matters from now on," she scolded.

Elain and I balked at her, equally shocked that she was being so stern with me again. I had noticed fairly early in my pregnancy that Nesta was growing increasingly vigilant of me—concerning herself more with the welfare of the child I carried, and after what Cassian revealed to me weeks ago, I now understood why. Despite her brute facade, she cared about me and worried about the fate of my child; perhaps as any older sister would.

I swallowed the irrational tears and sob that built up in my throat, a reaction I now involuntarily had every so often, and sat up a little straighter. "It's not that simple," I reasoned. "I'm still High Lady and given the concerning reports and lack of intel we've obtained in the last couple weeks, I've had to work together with Rhys to reach out to the other courts and meet with the rest of the inner circle."

"They're all thinking the same thing, except maybe Amren. They want you to rest more and let them handle this situation," Nesta went on. "They're just too scared to hurt your feelings or upset you, or whatever idiotic reason it is, not to tell you."

"Oh, but you aren't afraid to do any of that, are you?" I asked a bit bitterly—beginning to second guess my earlier sentiments.

"I'm not, because I see the toll this pregnancy is having on you and unlike the others, I'm not afraid to bring it up and say what needs to be said." She argued, hands placed on her lap with striking elegance—even though her words were anything but.

I hardened my stare at her, our identical blue-grey eyes cold with contempt; hers out of unyielding concern, and mine out of...reluctant understanding. It was no secret that my pregnancy was difficult, increasingly so since the early stages. There were periods of time when I felt fine, energetic and able to accomplish multiple tasks in a day, but there were still days where the lingering nausea and fatigue left me in bed for hours at a time. That, accompanied by the new onslaught of pelvic pains, back aches, and my rush of hormones caused me to be frequently disgruntled. Rhys, being the overbearing mother-hen he always tended to be whenever I felt the least bit poorly, did his best to console me. The others did as well, to the point where I believed they were coddling me. It wasn't until now that I realized they only wanted me to remain at ease; knowing the risk of any stress on me or the baby could be dangerous. Madja had warned us of what complications could arise from that burden, and I knew now that they were all just trying to prevent it.

My gaze cracked as tears sprang back into my eyes and turned away as they burned. I took a few steadying breaths, Elain's hand coming to my shoulder to help soothe me as she slid closer to me on our shared seat. "I didn't try insisting I go with them to the Mortal Lands or anything. I'm letting them handle the situation, but as High Lady I need to oversee the operations."

"Yes, but you're burdening yourself with worry." Elain offered softly. "You've been taking on work that you could leave to your mate or the others."

"Like that meeting with Tamlin." Nesta reminded me and I frowned, remembering the toll that trip had taken on me at the time.

"Or insisting you attend all the meetings on the reports Cassian and Azriel have gathered. Rhys can attend to those and fill you in later," Elain added.

"The point is that you need to delegate more. You were off to a good start after the summit meeting, coming here with your mate and spending time with the others, but you've overloaded yourself far too much over the last couple of weeks." Nesta concluded.

I sighed, leaning back to rest against the plush seat and ran my hands over my protruding stomach, feeling my son beginning to stir from the occasional nap he took in the warmth and protection my womb offered. Every point they brought up was right; while we all had allowed ourselves a moment of peace following the summit, I had taken the anxiety of the recent reports Cassian and Azriel gathered and threw myself back into working to find a solution. Rhys had as well, but I knew there were times he wished I would retire to our room or at least sit when my aches and pains reared its ugly head.

"I know you two are right, it's just...difficult, at times. I am High Lady; my duty is to my court—alongside Rhys." I explained.

"But he isn't pregnant. You are, and your first duty is to the child you carry," Nesta insisted.

"The child who will be the heir to the Night Court," Elain said.

I nodded in understanding, but before I could agree with them, there was a frantic pounding at the door, followed by Mor's panicked voice behind it.

"Feyre, it's us. Let us in," she said.

Nesta was the first to stand and rather than take the hand I stuck out to help me up, she strode over to the cabin door, checked to make sure it was really Mor the voice belonged to and opened it. Elain helped me to my feet as Mor and Amren strode into the room with equal grim expressions. I noted both of their clothes were dirty, some scrapes and fresh cuts healing on their own that decorated their face and arms—my heart squeezed.

"What's wrong, what happened?" I asked, my voice sounding strangled.

Mor's brown eyes were broken as they met mine and she swallowed, "Vassa showed up on the front steps of the house, beaten and bruised, and crying...as she warned us to leave."

My heart nearly stopped, and I felt Elain go rigid beside me; her hand coming to cover her mouth in horror. "We tried to ask her what was wrong, and what happened back in the Mortal Lands to have brought her here now, but-" Mor began but stopped, her throat bobbing.

"She kept warning us to leave before anyone got hurt, before you got hurt, and her face went blank. She turned and transitioned to her firebird form, leaping to the skies...and began setting Velaris aflame," Amren finished bitterly.

I couldn't hold steady on my feet and I stumbled back into Elain's arms as my head began to spin—speechless. Velaris was on fire. Velaris, my home, was under attack again.

"Did you...is she...what…?" I couldn't even manage my thoughts as Elain held me upright.

Mor stepped forward and took hold of my arms, steadying me. "She disappeared after a few minutes, but not before setting many of the buildings along the Sidra on fire."

The Rainbow. Vassa had set the Rainbow of Velaris aflame.

"We sent word to Rhysand and the others but haven't heard anything back yet. I also sent word to Varian, perhaps Tarquin can help put out the flames," Amren said.

"W-What?" I asked breathlessly, my chest heaving. "The fires haven't been put out yet?!"

"It's spread quickly, we're doing our best, but without Cassian and Azriel to gather the Illyrian force…" Mor explained and our eyes met in mutual understanding.

I was the one they could turn to—rely on.

"Take me back," I ordered, still reeling. "I'll put out the flames myself. We can't wait for Tarquin or anyone else."

"Feyre, you can't use-" Nesta began but I snapped at her with a feral growl I hardly believed came from my own throat.

"This is my court. My home. I am High Lady and I demand you take me back now." I said, addressing them all.

Mor and Amren exchanged hesitant glances before the former spoke up. "I'd have to winnow you there Feyre, and you know the effect it has on you. You could faint and have to recuperate, there isn't enough time for that. Even if you could use your powers," she tried to reason.

"So we wait here and do nothing?!" I exclaimed, turning away from her hold on me and striding to the window.

I could see nothing from here, but as I closed my eyes the memories of the last attack flashed behind my lids. The screams of agony and despair as my people were attacked—ripped to shreds by the army of the Attor from Hybern. Nausea roiled in my gut as I reached down the bond.

Rhys. Where are you?

I was met with silence, and I could only guess what horrors my mate and his brothers were facing in the Mortal realm—for him to block me out. If Vassa had been here, who knew what threat had been made and who had orchestrated it all. My heart pounded as my power awakened inside of me, boiling in my veins and I tried not to tap into them as I felt the slight twinge of pain in my abdomen—until thoughts of Velaris kept invading my thoughts. The screams echoing in my head, trying to imagine those beautiful buildings now on fire. Thoughts of Ressina and our studio, of the children she was teaching, those innocents.

Everyone in Velaris was innocent, and they were on fire. I had to do something.

Dosomething.Dosomething.Dosomething

I couldn't hear whatever conversation was happening between my sisters, Mor, and Amren as I lingered by the window. All I could do was turn back to them, briefly meeting Mor's gaze before those brown eyes widened in realization. She opened her mouth to protest, but she was too late. In the blink of an eye, I became darkness—tapping into my power that had gone untouched for months, I winnowed onto the front courtyard of the estate that sat along the Sidra's edge. I stumbled forward on my hands and knees as my head spun, my ears roaring with the blood rushing to my head and it took every effort within me not to faint—to seize the darkness that threatened to overcome me and push it back.

My heart pounded, the pain thundering throughout my entire body, resounding excruciatingly in my head as I forced myself to stay conscious and I was finally able to raise my eyes to the nightmare before me. I saw the orange and red of the flames reflected in the river first, barely able to hear the screaming as I saw each and every building lining the Sidra ablaze. From my position in the courtyard, I could see the figures of citizens scrambling to put out the flames; could see the number of buildings extending backwards that were already lit. I sobbed as another painful twinge ripped through my abdomen, causing me to turn my head and vomit in the grass.

Sobbing again, I closed my eyes and felt my power simmering rather than boiling. Just enough to breathe it into my core as I raised a single hand in the air and slammed it back onto the ground with a lethal smack. Once again, as it had so many years ago, the Sidra rose in response and I summoned just enough strength to lean back onto my knees—raising both of my hands in the air above my head as I became the river. Shaking, I slowly stood, keeping my arms raised as a wall of water rose with me; expanding deep and wide before I walked forward.

Suddenly, it felt as if my abdomen was being ripped to shreds and I screamed, doubling over and sending that wall of water forward and over those buildings. I didn't have time to pray to the Mother, the Cauldron, anything in hopes that it had been enough to snuff out the flames before I was seized again with the pain that tore through my core. I gasped in breaths as I gripped my stomach with one hand and fell onto my knees—catching myself with the other.

No, no, no. Please…

I felt a trickle of liquid that quickly began to spread at the apex of my thighs and sobbed as I reached a hand under the band of my pants and touched my thigh. I screamed again as the agony ripped through my abdomen again and fell onto my side. I felt the darkness beginning to ebb around my vision, the pain going with it as I raised that shaky hand to my face. The last thing I saw before my world went entirely dark was bright red blood coating my fingers.

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