#//damian knows shes the cool one

[the-demons-son]

And it was a beautiful weapon indeed. This was something Damian knew of well. Within the league of assassins, he'd been brought up in a world steeped in tradition and history and purpose. A warrior's life was the only one he truly knew. Things had been different since coming to Gotham, but this...

"It is a fine weapon." He marvelled at the intricacies of the hilt and could tell how well-balanced it was.

"Perhaps we could spar sometime?" Damian's approval was clear. He could learn much from Wonder Woman, her was sure. Or at the very least, keep his own skills sharp.

"They exist? Where you are from? The Greek gods of legend."

"Do you have a sword?" @the-demons-son

“A sword? Of course I do,” she smiled, perhaps a little too proud to own a weapon for someone who liked peace so much. She had never been like Batman or Superman in that regard. A battle was a thrill, and perhaps that would give her something to bond with Damian over.

She unsheathed the weapon, kneeling down carefully to show off the beautiful craftsmanship. “This is the sword of Athena. She once wielded it in a battle amongst Ares.”

@the-demons-son

[godofstupidsentences]

I desperately want to know more about the batfamily lore bc I love them already but it’s??? So complicated???

[necrotic-nephilim]

For the ask game

How do think talia would react to seeing her father loose to dick in sword fight, since I discovered this I can't stop think about how others would react

for the ask game!

this was such a fun moment in the comics for Dick's development and thinking about how other characters would react to it is so fun

so the context of Dick beating Ra's is proving himself as Bruce's heir, since Bruce just died and Dick's Nightwing run is coming to an end to make him Batman. also interestingly, is that Ra's called Dick 'Detective' during this moment, as a sign of respect. so Talia is not only reacting to Dick beating Ra's, but also Ra's extending his respect to Dick as Bruce's replacement. so like everyone else, Talia is coping with the loss of Bruce. and like everyone else, she's apprehensive at best of the idea of Dick replacing him. they're impossible shoes to fill, and she's not exactly known for liking Dick in the first place. it's a difficult, messy time for everyone.

i don't think she'd believe it, at first. there are plenty of rumors and fights always get dramatized when they're retold. so until she hears it from Ra's himself, hears the respect in his voice when he talks about Dick, that's when she finally accepts it. and well. her feelings are complicated. because her feelings about her father are complicated, but at the very least she knows he's a formidable opponent and not many people alive can beat him, especially in a sword fight. and Dick isn't even *known* as a sword fighter, it's not his specialty. so shock would be the first real reaction, from Talia. Dick and Talia do *not* have a history of liking each other, they've always been at odds whenever they're forced to be around each other. they can work with each other for a common goal, like saving Damian or Bruce, but otherwise, they just don't get along and she's not one for extending and compliments toward him. and it was easy to dismiss him as nothing more than a sidekick when he was Robin, but now he's clearly Bruce's equal, able to beat Ra's and becoming Batman. it forces her to re-evaluate her view of Dick.

i think one of the biggest changes would be her being more willing to leave Damian in Dick's care. Damian is her son, and she loves him more than anything, so it's a lot of trust for her to just leave him with Dick. (i know she has issues with it in Batman & Robin (2009) and does all sorts of nonsense but we do not acknowledge Morrison's Talia in this house i refuse ty) so it'd make her slightly more secure to know Dick is capable of defending himself and raising Damian, since he can clearly beat Ra's in a fight. it at the very least means he has something meaningful to teach Damian and will make a good mentor, even if Talia's still not too sure about trusting Dick as family to Damian. she can respect him as a teacher.

eventually, i do think she'd still check up on Dick. she'd have to see this for herself and she would just. try to fight him solely to see what he's capable of. which Dick would be. annoyed by because he's really got bigger things going on than a test from Damian's mom to see if he's fit to raise Damian. but for Talia, it's not just about Damian. it's also about Bruce. this is her beloved's mantle that Dick is wearing, and she's not just going to take Ra's' word for it that Dick is worth this mantle. Dick tries to blow her off, but Talia is absolutely insistent on the fight, threatening to take Damian from Dick, which actually gets a real reaction out of Dick.

it'd be a close fight, but Dick would eventually come out on top. and when Dick finally beats Talia, she has to face a lot of feelings at once. she has to face her grief, that Bruce is really gone. she has to face the annoying reality that this kid she's never liked his finally surpassed her and is actually worth being Bruce's successor. and she has to face that Damian loves and respects Dick as his family. she doesn't take it well, at first. she blows Dick off and struggles with the reality of it all. but once she's sat with her feelings, similar to Ra's, she would come to a grudging respect for Dick. and even like him a little bit, holding him a high regard for being able to take care of her son and shape him into a good man, and to be able to take down Ra's. it's a hard balancing act for anyone to manage. i think she'd keep some level of contact with Dick, annoying him regularly just to check in and make sure he and Damian are doing okay. it ends up healing their relationship in a way, because she's finally able to view Dick as an equal.

[lialcross]

If Superman Had a Daughter

Something I find interesting is how often Clark was given a daughter pre-new 52, only to end up with a son, Jon Kent. I think there have been a lot of interesting depictions of daughters, but one that's stuck out to me is the depiction of Laura Kent, an imaginary(?) daughter of Lois and Clark who didn't develop powers until her teenage years introduced in the eighties. And, while I do not mind Jon, I think Laura's short-lived backstory is leagues more interesting to me.

Of course, there have been more daughters, and for me, who likes the idea of the Supers being a relatively small family compared to other superhero families, I think Lois and Clark should only have one child (Kon is still a constant, but he is more or less the child between Clark and Lex).

It explores the relationship of how a superpowered father would react to his powerless half-Kryptonian daughter navigating the world around her. And, as all children do, their daughter would 100% yearn for the cape. It's a normal parent-daughter conflict despite the absurdity of involving superpowers, and curiosity about a world you're actively being told not to join, natural childhood rebellion. Naturally, if Superman and Lois Lane had a 'powerless' child, the line of dialogue, "Are you Bat-Training our daughter?" was a forethought in combining the various scraped daughters of the Supers. The Supers are close with the Bats, and she'd be the same age as Damian, Supersons hijinks would ensue despite everything.

[kizzer55555]

Ok but this has angst potential if Tim starts out treating him like a dangerous individual, looking for potential missing persons, mysterious murders (besides the usual) with bite marks, and making counter measures. (Hmm. These blood blossoms are said to repel the dead. Would that work on the undead?). And finding more facts that support his theory like skin cold to the touch, fangs and claws, avoidance of garlic toast that one time, and a few other things. Like evidence he has a ‘special drink’ that he doesn’t let anyone else near or even catch a glimpse of (it’s ectoplasm) and seems to be trading with that woman for it. There might even be a whole secret network of vampires.

Everything is going to plan until Damian discovers his research.

Good news, with the current amount of proof Tim has accumulated at this point he has successfully convinced Damian that this guy is a vampire!

The problem? Immediately afterwards he got a lecture from his youngest brother on being specist.

Damian: Has he made any moves to harm another person?

Tim: no.

Damian: Did you find any evidence he has been killing?

Tim: …no

Damian: Did you even consider he might be finding alternative and humane ways to get the sustenance his species requires to survive?!

Tim: …………..no.

Damian: imbecile

So now Tim feels like the worst person in the world for planning to kill what is essentially the vegetarian version of a vampire.

Damian has decided that it is his duty to correct his moronic ‘brother's’ mistake and be the ambassador to this new creature on behalf of the human species.

Exhausted college student Danny gets mistaken for a vampire one night when he tiredly hissed at one of the bat family and showed fangs as he forgot he was eating some cherry candy that stained his teeth red. He also has pointed ears. Red Robin is on the case to track down the vampire in Gotham. He also found him kinda cute

Tim tapped his fingers together in front of him. He leaned back in his chair and looked at his cork board, which were covered in photos of Daniel J. Nightingale, red string connecting each piece of information together to form a puzzle that he needed to solve.

It had been months, but somehow, Danny was evading Tim's every attempt to find out where he lived and whether or not he was truly a bloodsucking creature.

With how he was consistently disappearing under Tim's surveillance every time, he was beginning to think that Danny was truly a vampire.

The door opened, and Jason waltzed in and leaned over the back of his chair, his elbow narrowly digging into Tim's head. Tim yelped as his chair suddenly leaned back at a drastically new angle before he glared at him.

"... found a new victim, stalker?" Jason teased, looking at the pictures of Danny.

"... I'm not a stalker. And he's not a 'victim', he's a possibly dangerous individual that I need to find and neutralize."

Jason raised an eyebrow, looking at a picture where Danny was passed out on a park bench, a half eaten sandwich on his stomach that was being stolen away by a pigeon.

".... dangerous?" He said, his tone slightly unbelieving.

"I have reasons to believe that he's a vampire," Tim said vaguely.

Jason hummed. "Oh. So that's why you have this picture of him where his shirt's riding up over his stomach?"

Tim turned pink. "That's— that's for research! That picture is very important to me!"

"Oh, I'm sure it's important," Jason smirked. "So while you're figuring out a way to... 'neutralize' this vampire, can you try to get me this girl's phone number?" He said, picking up and waving a picture where Danny was talking to a tall, red haired woman. "She's hot."

"No!! And get out of my room!"

[erinwantstowrite]

Halloween AU!!!

hey so. i put SOOOOO much effort into this au and for what? at least it ended up looking cool? anyways Halloween is my favorite holiday and i just HAD to make something for them!

i had a LOT of ideas for what everyone would be, but i really wanted to stick to a certain theme cause it's based around Halloween. i knew i had to have a vampire, werewolf, and a witch. cause like... obviously. iconic Halloween stuff!! but i took some liberties with everyone else and i think they turned out pretty cool!!

Jason was originally a fox shifter (which i still love and might draw art for some day) but i went with a bear in the end. is that because i thought about tiny bear cub Jaybin and wanted to cry? yeah. yeah it is. i KNEW Steph was going to be my werewolf though i started doubting myself when i went to draw her. turned out to be my favorite drawing on here which makes sense cause she is my light my love my daughter my will to live and all that jazz

Tim was actually gonna be a harpy but thank god i didn't go for that in the end. Duke was the one that was a bitch and a half trying to figure out BUT!! comments on the post asking what y'all thought led me towards Psychic so THANK YOUUUU everybody that commented!! (specifically those who thought of ghost!! Duke and Tim ended up being a perfect duo in this au)

Babs was pretty easy to figure out what I wanted for her. I read somewhere that they are seen as protectors of forests/ are considered spiritual authority figures and also.... she looks cool as fuck. Did not expect how easy it was to find a ref for a deer in a wheelchair though? I can never find the right hand or face angle reference but that was super easy???

For Bruce there was literally no question he HAD to be human. it's literally so funny that everyone who knows Batman thinks he's a spooky vampire but he's human. his first son, however?????? THAT'S the vampire. I knew Dick had to be a vampire too. A little nod towards that one comic run but in my au nothing bad happens ever 🥰 Damian also being a bat shifter is very on purpose because how funny is it that he's a bat man. Literally not a single person in the League thinks that Bruce is telling the truth about being human. Bruce you are NOT beating the secretly a vampire allegations.

adding in Jay's hilarious joke it's so fucking funny:

Alfred is actually a demon. I CAN NOT remember who made this post so if someone can help me find it, it would be appreciated!! because this was inspired by them!!! but somewhere i saw someone talk about Alfred being a demon that Thomas and Martha made a deal with (i think it was for an au idea?) and I just HAD to put it here. Alfred looks so human and everyone expects it, but he's definitely not. I put the ??? because it's so fucking funny. see if you can spot the 1 hint i put on his drawing that something is amiss!!

Peter is from an alternate dimension still, but it is not a world of creatures like him, it's just the same as LoF canon except Peter grew some extra limbs and eyes. He finds that it's actually pretty easy to fit in with the Waynes. Hard to feel like a freak when a guy can turn into a fucking bear, or your dad is a vampire, and the teenagers in the family are trying to summon ghosts or make potions.

additional doodles for this au:

i am still debating whether i am going to draw something for this au or write a oneshot, but i DO want to do something with these for Halloween

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC "Pick Me Up"

The stream goes live on the first day of the school year. It's the usual song and dance - mad laughing, threats, poor jokes, terror, and about thirty kids huddled together in a classroom behind Joker's back. Tim recognizes it as one of the Gotham Academy classrooms. Dick can't imagine the horror those kids' parents must be feeling right now. Jason jokes about middle school traumatic experiences. Damian is feeling very justified for skipping classes today.

Bruce, all suited up in his Batman garb, is making his way to the Academy as fast as he possibly can. Those are kids.

Gotham is once again anxiously kept on the edge of their seats, watching as Joker decides to interview the kids on their learning experience so far. Something about leaving a good first impression on the new generation or some other bullshit. Most kids stutter over their words - it's true that Gothamites are way more composed when facing life-threatening events, but those kids are only fourteen or fifteen for the most part. They are not old enough to keep their cool in the face of a murder clown.

That is, until Joker points his camera at one of the girls. Black hair in a high ponytail, blue eyes without a trace of fear, a slightly displeased, even bored expression on her face. She looks straight into the camera, not even waiting for the laughing madman to finish his question, and deadpans:

"I don't think I like school. Pick me up, please."

Joker sputters.

"Not so scared, I see," he sneers, and, in the next moment, a comically large gun painted in purples and greens is pointed to the girl's forehead, "How about now?"

The girl scrunches her nose and makes a so-so gesture.

"It's kinda meh," she admits, "Like, yeah, points for style, but you know, size doesn't matter. It's all in the technique."

Dick snorts over the comms. It's a bad time for laughing, sure, but the phrase caught him off-guard. This is not what you'd expect to hear from a teen, and definitely not something you'd expect anyone to say to the Joker. Jason's comms are muted, but Barbara knows he also laughed a little.

"Technique, you say?" Joker hisses, pressing the gun closer to the girl's head, and she winces, leaning away from it, almost as if she is disgusted by the touch.

"Yeah, I mean, guns are not that scary anyway. What are you gonna do with them, blast my brains all over the floor? Been there, done that," the girl shrugs, "Kinda nasty, but overall, it's just like slime, only sticky." She pauses and looks to the side, seemingly lost in thought, "Huh, maybe we should have added Borax to it. Or was it baking soda?.."

"Listen here, you little brat," Joker's fingers catch the girl's chin, and his voice becomes sickeningly menacing. Bruce is almost there, just two more minutes. Tim is already grappling onto the wall.

But none of them get to finish.

"Put your dirty fingers away from my sister," a low, cold, and even in a way that speaks of barely contained fury, voice comes from out of the screen.

The camera spins, like whoever is holding it turned really fast, and everyone watching the stream sees a fairly normal guy standing by the window - a turtleneck and ripped jeans, same black hair as the girl, same blue eyes... Wait, they are not blue.

And that's not a guy.

The camera falls down to the floor, and there are a lot of panicked screams coming from the broadcast now, but none of them sound like children's voices. It's the screams of adults, of grown-ass men, and later, someone even claimed they heard Joker's scream among them, too. The picture on camera glitches a few times, and the angle is awkward, but everyone still gets to see how shadows in the room morph into eyes, wide open and green, and how the darkness grows sharp teeth, countless grinning mouths that don't belong to any faces.

Screams turn into gargling and then to quiet whispers, filling the ears of all those listening with countless words in languages they don't know.

Red Robin turns off the recording and looks to that same guy from the levestream, sitting across him on the couch. The guy - Daniel, or Danny, as he introduced himself - looks him in the eyes and raises an eyebrow.

"Okay, and?"

"How did you do it?" Tim asks for the third time this evening. Danny blinks.

"Did what?" He asks, completely incomprehending. Tim groans. He's been trying to get his answers, any answers at this point, from the guy for thirty fucking minutes already. So far, he's got nothing. Danny, whoever the fuck he is, proves to be the most annoying human being on Earth.

"Seven people in a coma, including Joker himself, with no physical injuries and none of the children remember a thing! How?!" He demands, and a girl's face peeks from around the corner:

"I remember!"

Tim snaps his head at her, "What do you remember?"

The girl pauses, blinks, and looks to Danny. Then shrugs, "My brother picked me up from school."

Tim drops his head down and breathes out in frustration. He can't force the information out of civilians, he is a vigilante, not a mafia.

"Would it make you feel better if I promise not to do it again?" Danny asks, and his voice is way too innocent for Tim to believe him. He raises his head to look the guy in his shameless, amused eyes.

"I hate you."

"Thanks," Danny grins.

[hailsatanacab]

so this really gripped me, absolutely loved the idea! please enjoy roughly too many words on the topic :)

---

It’s been about… half an hour since Danny was transported to a random ghost’s lair, so he reasons that it’s probably nearing around midnight now. That’s alright, it was probably going to be an all-nighter anyway, and at least this way there won’t be any distractions— he might actually be able to finish his algebra homework for once. Especially since, as far as he can tell, the ghost that summoned him isn’t particularly powerful—not judging by the cage that held him, anyway—Danny’s pretty sure he could break out of the whole thing without even going ghost.

Speaking of, the ghost—yeah, he really hadn’t been paying attention when the guy was monologuing at the beginning—doesn’t seem to recognise him at all, so like, great! He can just treat the whole thing as a study hall session and beat the guy up when he’s done.

And you know what? It’s honestly going pretty well! He’s flying through the problems like nobody’s business, there’s only like three left and he’s starting to feel a lot more confident for the test tomorrow! Perhaps getting kidnapped was a good thing?

But, like every good thing in Danny’s life, it doesn’t last.

He groans as he’s interrupted with a knock on his cage, rolling his eyes.

“What?”

“How does it make you feel, hm?” asks the ghost, his grin widening in mocking sympathy. Great. Another Spectra type. “He doesn’t even recognise you. Failed at the first hurdle!”

“So?” Danny shrugs, not really knowing or caring what’s happening here. He had three questions left. Three! This is the most homework he’s done since freshman year, and yet again, here comes a ghost to ruin it. “I don’t recognise him either, so who cares.”

“Who cares?” The ghost blinks at him, twisting back to look incredulously at… holy shit, is that Batman? “Who cares?”

Danny just shrugs again. Perhaps he should put an end to this before things start to spiral any more out of hand… Who’s he kidding, that’s Batman. Things are already out of hand.

“Did you hear that, Batman? He doesn’t care if you know him or not. Does that hurt?”

Batman doesn’t answer, he just clenches his fists tightly and glares at Danny.

Danny wishes he’d been paying more attention because he has no idea what the fuck is going on now. The pages of his homework are scattered across the floor of his cage—he only had three problems left!—it makes a certain perverse sort of sense that just as he gets to grips with algebra, he’d be knocked off kilter in a ghost fight of all things. Great.

“Uh, what?”

But the ghost ignores him and swirls up in the air to float around Batman’s centre podium. Right. So this is all about Batman, then. Gotcha.

“Second question, Batman! Come on, you must know what it is by now, do I even have to ask?”

Batman remains stubbornly silent.

Looking around, Danny sees that he’s in the last of the cages, ringing around Batman in a semicircle. There’s a Gotham vigilante in each one—and also Red Hood, which is weird because Danny’s fairly certain he’s like a crime boss or something—Nightwing, Red Robin, Robin, that new daytime one, the one with the full face mask… Batgirl? Orphan? There are a lot of them and they all seem to change their names every few years, alright? It gets confusing.

Besides, Danny’s had a few other things on his plate lately. He doesn’t have time to memorise every single city’s heroes! It’s not like any of them know who he is anyway.

There’s a floating number behind Batman. 

79/134.

Danny hates fractions even more than algebra. This sucks.

“Fine, I’ll ask. How old is he?”

“My name’s Danny, and I’m 15.” he says, but no one looks his way. Huh. Are the cages soundproof unless the ghost wants to hear him?

It takes a second, but Batman growls out a low, “I don’t know.”

The ghost cackles, long and hard. 

Danny can’t help but roll his eyes as he floats over to him again. This time he can feel it, the rush of ectoplasm that floods through the cage as the ghost makes contact.

“How old are you?”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m asking you how old you are, so, how old are you?”

Okay, so infusing the cage with ectoplasm means he can be heard. Good to know.

“I’m 15.”

As soon as the words leave his lips, the number behind Batman ticks over.

79/135.

Right. So, Batman’s going through his own test. General knowledge on vigilantes? But then, why’s he here with the Gotham heroes? It doesn’t make sense!

“He’s 15, Batman. That’s 15 years of his life that you’ve missed out on, isn’t that something? You know, I’m starting to suspect that you don’t know them all perfectly like you said you did. I don’t think you know them at all.”

The ghost lets out another long laugh and leaves before Danny can even think of the right question to ask. Something other than “What the fuck?”

“When’s his birthday?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well?”

“Seriously, what’s happening? I don’t get it.”

“Answer the question. When’s your birthday?”

“April 3rd.”

79/136.

The questions keep coming—both from the ghost, and from Danny—but only the ghost gets his answered.

“What are his hobbies?”

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t know, fighting, I guess? Wait, no, engineering! You know, inventing shit, that sounds better than fighting.”

Yeah, this is still Batman, probably shouldn’t advertise his crime fighting. Wait, hang on, does the combination of fighting and inventing shit make him sound more like a villain? Fuck!

79/139.

“What’s his favourite colour?”

“I don’t know.”

“Red.”

79/142.

“What’s his favourite movie?”

“I don’t know.”

“Undead Teacher II: The Bell Doesn’t Dismiss You, I Do. It’s really good, you should watch it.”

79/145.

“What’s his favourite game?”

“I don’t know.”

“Not fucking this one, I can tell you that. Seriously, what’s happening here? Why’s Batman meant to know all of these?”

“Answer the question.”

“Doomed.”

79/149.

And then they start getting into the harder questions. More personal. Stuff that Danny only really talks about with Jazz—and even then, only when he’s coerced or going through a rough patch.

Part of him wants to keep playing the game, see what he can learn, see why he’s been dragged into this.

“Who was his first love?”

“I don’t know.”

“Val. But don’t tell her I said that.”

79/154.

“With whom was his first kiss?”

“I don’t know.”

“Does a fake-out make-out count?”

“What?”

“It’s when you kiss someone so people think you were doing that instead of, you know, like, doing something you shouldn’t.”

“Yes, it counts. It’s still a kiss.”

“See, that’s what Tucker said, but I don’t think it does, I mean—alright, yeah, sure, it was with Sam, then, jeez.”

79/155.

Part of him wants to stop.

“What’s his greatest fear?”

“I don’t know.”

A huge part of him wants this to stop.

Batman’s still standing straight, but his hands—held tightly at his sides—are shaking. Why is this happening?

“Well? What’s your greatest fear? Don’t worry, this is a safe space, we won’t judge you. It’s not you we’re here to judge, after all.”

Danny licks his lips, forces himself to breath through his nose. His greatest fear?

“My parents.”

He, uh… he hadn’t meant to say that. He also hadn’t realised how true that was until it left him. There’s a pounding ache in his chest.

The ghost’s face splits into a wide grin, teeth sharp and glinting in the light, drinking in Danny’s hurt. The air crackles and he doesn’t know who’s causing it.

79/157.

“Why is he scared of his parents?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m… scared they’ll find out what I am and they’ll hurt me for it.” His voice is barely above a whisper, but it carries to everyone, magically amplified through the room. Danny just concentrates on breathing. He keeps his eyes on Batman. There’s no need to know what the others are doing.

Batman gasps, ragged and catching, and goes to take a step towards him before the platform he’s on lights up red. 

The ghost whips his head around to laugh.

“Careful now, Batman, you know what happens if you step out of that circle before the game is over. Boom.”

Batman steps back, but he never looks away from Danny, his scowl deepening.

Danny doesn’t know what it means.

79/158.

“We still have a few more questions, you can’t give up right before the end! What is he?”

The pause between the question and Batman’s answer is longer this time. Danny watches as his hands clench and unclench, as the muscles work in his jaw, until he finally gives up.

“I don’t know.”

It sounds hollow in the open space.

“Well?”

“Do you not know who I am?”

It does make him kind of like a douche to pull that card, but seriously, it feels like everyone in the Infinite Realms knows who he is at this point and he can feel the anger rising in him, no one should dare subject him to this, he—

“Did you hear that, Batman? Do you not know who he is? Look at him, look at your—”

“No, you. Do you not know who I am?”

The ghost takes his hand off the cage and squints at him, looking him up and down, before dismissing him with a smile. “What does it matter if I know who you are or not, what matters here is if he knows you.”

He swirls up around them until he’s floating in front of the giant numbers. They tick over again.

79/159.

“Evidently, he doesn't know you much.” He swoops down to curl his ghostly tail around Batman’s podium, smiling all the while. “Come on, Batman, you’re so close! I’ve only got one more question left, there’s still a chance you can win. Only half, that’s it, you just need to answer half of my questions correctly and then you can all leave perfectly safe and sound.

“So, without further ado, here is your final question. What’s his name?” The way the ghost’s voice echoes through the chambers, cruel and twisted, sends shivers up Danny’s spine. 

Batman’s mouth opens and closes, but no sound comes out. He raises a hand out towards Danny, goes to take a step, but pulls back at the last second. Only the bottom half of his face is visible, but the anguish on it is plain as day.

“It’s so simple, there’s no way you could get it wrong. Even the worst father knows their child’s name, surely. But, I suppose, you didn’t even know he existed before now, did you? How can you call yourself a father at all? How can you say you know your children?”

“I—”

“It’s Danny.”

The ghost’s cackling laughter is cut off abruptly as he snaps his neck towards Danny’s cage.

“How did you do that? How are you speaking, don’t ruin this!”

Yeah, screw this guy. Screw whatever twisted game he’s trying to play with Batman, Danny’s finished with it.

“My name is Danny. Danny Phantom.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“You can’t be Phantom, he’s—”

He transforms in a flash of bright light and the cage shatters with a, disappointingly, pretty weak bolt of ectoplasm. It’s not even going to be a good fight, he can tell. Honestly, after all of this emotional turmoil, he could really do with letting off some steam, but this guy’s too weak to even bother with.

He sighs and steps out of the ruins of his cage.

“Guess you should have done some research before kidnapping people, huh?”

“I don’t do research!”

“Yeah, that’s pretty obvious.” he says, with a roll of his eyes. He’s definitely not looking at Batman.

“No, I mean, the spell just does it all for me—it gathers everything it needs and brings it all here, including the subject’s children. It knows the answers to all the questions a father should know, it—”

“So Batman really is my father?”

“Yes. Without a doubt.”

Danny closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. The ache in his chest never fades, but after another couple of seconds, his eyes stop prickling.

“And everyone else here… they’re my brothers and sisters?”

“Yes, that’s right.” The ghost nods frantically, his perpetual grin looking more and more unsure. “The spell can’t be wrong.”

“And you were going to hurt them all if he didn’t win?”

The ghost stops nodding.

“I’m really gonna enjoy hitting you now.”

“But without me, you wouldn’t know! Surely that counts for something, surely—”

In the end, all it takes is one solid punch to knock the ghost out. Barely even worth it—certainly not the catharsis he was hoping for. 

With a sigh, Danny takes a thermos out of his chest and sucks up the unconscious ghost in a blaze of light. Perhaps he can go and needle Vlad or something when he makes it back home, finally get a release for some of this rage building in his chest.

Anything so he doesn’t have to deal with… whatever the hell is happening here now.

As soon as he caps the lid on the thermos, the stage setup vanishes and the air shimmers around them until even that fades and they find themselves on a rooftop in a dark, gloomy city that certainly isn’t Amity Park.

Danny has a guess as to where they are and he’s not exactly happy about it.

“B, what the hell was that?”

“You alright, Batman?”

“Father?”

Danny has his back to them all. He’s not looking. He has bigger things to worry about than… whatever the absolute fuck all of that was. He’s just going to block this from his mind forever, thanks.

They all fall into silence and Danny can practically feel their eyes burning into his back. Well… fuck. He floats down to stand on his own two feet and takes a deep breath, turning back into his human form before… before turning around to face them all.

“So, that was weird.”

Yikes, not the greatest way to start a conversation with—with his biological dad? What does that mean about—oh, ew, he doesn’t even want to think about it, gross. Did Mom cheat? Does Dad know?

“Who are you?” Batman growls out, and you know what? Danny doesn’t feel bad about his conversation starter at all now, because that was shocking. He can’t help but flinch.

“Jesus, B, don’t scare him.” Nightwing rests a hand on Batman’s shoulder and gently manoeuvres himself in front of him. “My name’s Nightwing, you’re Danny, right?”

Danny nods, but doesn’t speak. Probably shouldn’t open his mouth any more, really. They already know he’s Phantom, he should keep the rest of what they know at a minimum, shouldn’t he? At least until he knows a bit more about them.

Does he want to know more about them?

“How about we take this back to the cave where we can get to know each other properly? Without all the masks, alright?”

Wait, what?

Danny cocks his head to the side, confused. Is Nightwing saying they’ll tell them their identities? They’d just trust him with that?

Looking at them all, it’s pretty hard to tell what they want. The masks do a really good job at hiding what they’re thinking—sidenote, should Danny get a mask?—and he’s… he’s only just met them. He wasn’t paying attention to any of their questions, he doesn’t know a thing about them! Meanwhile, they know everything about him—oh, Ancients, they know about Val, they know about his first kiss, they know about—

“Please,” Batman starts, and then stops again, looking more uncertain than he ever did earlier. “Please, I know… I know this must be difficult for you, but if that… thing—”

“Ghost.” Danny interrupts, immediately wishing he hadn’t. “He was a ghost.”

Batman nods. “But if that ghost is right, then… I don’t want to lose this opportunity to get to know you. I don’t know my children as well as I thought, and it almost cost them their lives. I… I don’t want that to happen again.”

What, so he’s just meant to tell Batman all his secrets, just in case they all get captured by another family therapy-oriented ghost? Not gonna happen, thanks, Batman.

They must have read something in his face (seriously, should he get a mask?) because Nightwing steps up again. “I think what B means to say is that we’d all like to get to know you better. No pressure, no strings, you don’t have to tell us anything you don’t want to.”

“I, uh, have a test tomorrow.” His voice is strangled, the words getting caught in his throat. He takes a step back and his heart pounds in his chest. “I should get going, it’s a long flight back.”

Batman follows him as he takes another step away, but Nightwing rests a hand on his shoulder and keeps him still. “Let him go, B, you can’t force him.”

When he bumps against the edge of the roof, he transforms and lifts into the air, not missing the quick flash of concern across Batman’s face. Whatever that means, he doesn’t know.

“Can you… can you not look me up? For obvious reasons, I’d rather my parents not find out about this.Them and… others, too. Even if you think your tech is good, when it comes to ghosts, theirs is better. Please don’t look me up.”

Red Robin is already furiously typing away on a screen on his wrist. 

“Come on, dude, seriously? I just asked you not to.”

“I’m not, I’m just—ow!”

Red Hood whacks him across the back of his head and then dodges quickly as Red Robin goes to jab him in the stomach.

“I really wasn’t, I was researching ghosts in general, fuck off!”

“Don’t do that either.” Danny laughs, watching as they dance across the rooftop, each failing to hit the other. They only come to an end when Black Bat? Orphan? Seriously, was she Batgirl, he really doesn’t know. Anyway, she ends the fight with a swift chop to both of their backs, which leaves them both grumbling on the floor.

“Seriously, you won’t get anything good searching on the internet, anyway. Any credible sources will trigger a trace and anything else is rubbish anyway. I’ll…” He takes in a deep breath that he doesn’t need and looks towards Batman. “I’ll tell you about it all when I come back, I promise. Saturday, same time, same place. Alright?”

There’s a tense silence as they all turn to see what Batman will say. Danny can’t help but let out a small sigh of relief when he finally nods.

Okay, so he’s got until Saturday. That’s plenty of time!

It’s two days. He’s got two days to figure out what he’s going to say. To ask his parents—ask Jazz, probably—if he’s, what, adopted? Or the product of a secret fling? Gross, does he even want to know?

There’s no way two days is enough time, oh, Ancient’s what’s he going to do?

He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly—he can panic on the way back, at least let him keep some kind of cool in front of Batman!

“I’ll, uh, see you on Saturday, then!” He waves, feeling a little stupid, and he turns to face the direction of Amity Park.

“Danny?” 

He turns back to find Batman looking up at him, uncertainty reading in every part of his frame.

“Yeah?” 

“Good luck on your test tomorrow.”

As much as he wants to, Danny can’t fight down the blinding grin that worms its way onto his face. No one apart from Jazz has wished him luck on a test in a long while. He must look like such a dork, but his core lifts in his chest and somehow it’s a little easier to breathe.

“Thanks! Bye!” 

He waves again, more cheerfully this time, and zooms off before they have a chance to call him back. The grin doesn’t leave his face until three hours later when he’s finally collapsed into his bed in Amity at Ancients-knows-what-time and the cold realisation that he left his homework back in the cage floods through him.

Damn it!

"Let's play a game of 'How well do you know your kids?'" The being shouted, eyebrow still twitching from Robins latest remark.

"I know all my children perfectly." Batman growled at the entity. He held his ground as the spirits (demons?) smile sharpened, "Than you won't mind!"

A puff of purple glowy smoke engulfs then entire area and the next thing anyone knows is that all of Bruces children, even the ones who weren't with them previously, are locked inside magical cages while Batman is trapped in a invisible mime box with a podium and a microphone in what is quite possibly the most garish game show set up ever.

Why was everything neon green and purple? Why was the guy neon green and purple? Who were these other kids-gdi Bruce! You have more kids?

Danny could just transform and beat up the ghost. Its a pretty weak one after all. But this one doesn't seem to recognize him as a halfa and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to do his homework without being attacked.

Jason stared at the kid next to him. What kinda life did this kid have to calmly get out his math homework and start solving problems while being held hostage by an unknown entity?! And with the bats no less?!

All the while Batman is getting peppered with questions about his kids and is realizing he doesn't recognize a few of the names.

[maspers]

Imagine Thomas and Martha Wayne getting resurrected via whatever the bullcrap of the week is, and it NOT getting undone once the conflict is over. Bruce and the kids are experiencing All The Emotions but Thomas and Martha are just happy to be there and are wholeheartedly rolling with it.

"The Waynes are a superhero family now? That's amazing! Martha, isn't it amazing?"

"Yes, dear. So much better than the organized crime we used to do. Oh, don't worry Bruce, we really only did it out of obligation, we would have jumped to vigilantism long ago had we known it was an option."

"Martha, we have grandchildren! They're adorable!"

"Thomas you've already met most of them."

"Yes but now I can appreciate them! And spoil them!"

"Thomas, honey, if you actually act as an enabler for our grandbabies I think you'll end up giving our poor Bruce a heart attack."

"Damian has a sword Martha! A sword! We have swords in the family! This is wonderful!"

"I know, Thomas."

Thomas has to be physically restrained from learning how to be a vigilante. He's too old, and Bruce and the rest don't want him to die *again*. He can help Alfred. Doesn't stop him from badgering his grandchildren about their hobbies. Ostensibly it's because he wants to get to know them better, but they all know he just really wants to learn how to do the cool things they all do. He's banned from using the Batcomputer at least thrice.

Martha at first seems content to just sit in the house and play the role of old-fashioned housewife but one day she inexplicably appears in Jason's apartment, supposedly to return one of his guns after he dropped it. He could have sworn it was fully loaded when he lost it, and now it's empty. Martha's fingerprints are the only ones on the gun. He decides to not ask questions.

They both neglect to inform the high society of Gotham that they're alive, and it takes a while for them to realize this. Gradually every rich person in Gotham takes their turn having a breakdown over having to deal with even more Wayne bullcrap. How come the Waynes are the only ones that seem to be immune to death???

[dcxdpdabbles]

I found and read this cute story on AO3, about Frostbite being Danny's legal parental guardian. In the story Bruce Wayne runs into Frostbite (in his full yeti glory no disguise) who is setting up for school bake sale. Got me thinking about what if Danny's past rogues took turns filling in and doing parental stuff especially at school functions. Like Frostbite does the bake sale, Pandora shows up for his games, Ghostwriter goes to all of the PTA meetings, Clockwork goes to teacher meetings, so on and so forth.

The 43rd Annual Gotham Academy Bake Sale by Faeriekit

Ohhh, that sounds good! I'll get it a read when I have some time. Thank you for the rec!

Danny Fenton is one of the lucky few who have a very involved household. His various family members would always sign up for any school event the boy needed support in. It didn't mean that the boy won everything, but as a teacher for nine years, Emily has come to learn how much it mattered to just have someone show up.

She had seen students whose entire faces light up after spotting someone in the crowd in the same amount she saw a student's hope crumble after they scanned the room.

Danny was a polite young man, a bit on the shyer side, but kind and not a troublemaker, his previous school had her believe. If anything, he seemed to struggle with fitting in, but no students blatantly disliked him.

The general opinion of Danny matched, as her students would say, "I know him from class, but I don't really talk to him. He seems cool though".

Maybe that's why so many people were supposed by his family to march into the auditorium during Danny's talent show. Seeing him wave at the row before starting his gymnastic act had been such a surprise.

Now, Gotham wasn't a close-knit community, not with the size of their city and the millions of people living within it, but everyone would have noticed that Danny was adopted.

After all, he was the only one that wasn't glowing or a large humanoid animal. They cheered the loudest among the crowd; uncaring Danny got bronze- having lost to Joey's tapping dancing for second and Damian's spectacular multi-instrumental cover of a meme song for first place- and Danny beamed back at them.

Gotham was known for not being meta-friendly, but that was only due to a few mean people who shouted the loudest on media outlets. Many of Emily's students were meta, had family that were meta, or knew someone meta. It wasn't a common enough trait one would encounter a meta on every outing, but you would see them in Gotham well enough.

Everyone knew, but no one said it out loud. In the same way, she knew which students' parents were in the country illegally but worked harder than anyone else. Saying anything would help the cops, or worse, the rich running Gotham.

Even the most prejudiced Gothamite would rather be spat on then give them aid. And those who were so prejudiced to help the poor man's enemies, well, Emily has lived here long enough to know they vanished rather quickly. The smart ones kept their mouths shut.

No one could forget what happened to that guy who accidentally insulted Penguin. His grandmother had been an illegal immigrant on his mother's side.

No one messed with that side of the family.

"Hello, Mrs. Jackson." Danny's adoptive father, Dr. Frostbite said, ducking down to avoid banging his head on the door. On one of his shoulders was a box of hotdog wieners; on the other were multiple bags of bread. "I'm here for my snack bar shift."

Emily tilts her head back to look the Yeti in the eye. He had been shocked the first time they met, but she could admit that Dr. Frostbite was a relatively gentle and wise soul. "Welcome aboard. The girls are just about to take the field. You can put that down by the crock pot over there."

The mountain of white fur brushes by her with the grace of a king as Dr. Frostbite does as she says. There were no customers at the window, so she leaned on the counter and offered him a smile. "Did you enjoy the game?"

"Yes. I was saddened our team did not win, but Danny hit a home run." Dr. Frostbite's sharp smile could have been frightening if he wasn't oozing parental pride. "I caught it all on video."

Emily opens her mouth to respond when a hand lands loudly on the counter with a loud crack. Her heart leaps, and she looks into Danny's Ember. She isn't one of Emily's students, though she does appear to be a teenager in appearance.

You know. If it wasn't for her hair made of fire. Or her blue skin. Or her glow.

"I set a boy on fire," She announces with a cackle.

"That's so?" Dr. Frostbite gently rips open the box, taking out the hotdog packages. With one large claw, he rips a hole into it and lets the few weiners slide into the crockpot with a gentle splash. "What did he do?"

"Tried to slap me on the butt." She huffs, rolling her eyes, but her smirk doesn't lose an edge of smugness.

"Well done." Dr. Frostbite praises placing the lid back on. It always surprised Emily to see such careful actions from the large creature. "I assume you did so out of Pandora's line of sight?"

"Naturally. I don't want her lecturing me in front of the whole community." Ember scoffs, crossing her arms. Behind her, the top of Pandora's head can be seen swinging side to side over the dugout, keeping an eye on the ball.

She was the best volunteer referee because even the parents knew not to shout insulting things when she was present. Emily doesn't think she has had such peaceful games in a long while. Hopefully, Danny will try out again for baseball next year so the woman can return.

"Oh hey, you're Danny's English teacher, right? Mrs. Johnson?" Ember asks, leaning on the counter to give Emily a curious look.

When the blond nods, holding out her hand for a shake. "That's right. It's nice to see you again, Ember."

The girl's hair flairs a little as a grin grows on her face. Her hand is ice cold to the touch, but she's got a firm grip that her husband would appreciate. "Likewise. I got a message for you from Ghostwriter. He sent the notes for the last PTA meeting to you and the revision playwright for the musical you two were working on."

Emily's mood brightens up. "That's wonderful. Could you tell him I'll check it out when I get home and get to my laptop since my phone broke in the last Two-Face attack?"

Ember's hair flickers in the wind when she nods, but Danny bounces right up behind her just as she opens her mouth to speak. He's wearing his Gotham Acadamy Baseball uniform with pride despite them losing. "Hey, Frostbite, can I go with Tim and Duke to get Peoeria Pizza? We'll be back before the girl's game ends."

"Only if you take Ember with you," Dr.Frostbite says, nodding to his daughter, who looks alarmed to be included. "She needs more friends."

"Hey!"

"Sure. Come on, Ember, you'll get along with Duke. He likes old-school rock."

"It's not old-school!"

Emily laughs, watching the two siblings bicker as they stride away, blending into the crowd with no one batting an eye at the glowing girl anymore. How blessed that boy was.

"I'm glad Danny has gotten comfortable here. I always worried he never was going to have a normal childhood." Dr. Frostbite confesses to swirling the hotdogs around in the water to ensure each one is cooked.

"I think you and the rest are doing a wonderful job. You're a great father." She assures him, thinking wistfully of her William. He's been on deployment for a few months now and will likely miss the holidays again, but his contract is almost up. They may try for a child when he gets in the reserves. "How are things at the clinic?"

"Oh, wonderful. I'm grateful that Mr. Wayne has allowed the expansion of Thomas Wayne Memorial Clinic. Dr. Thompkins will be covering the east side of Gotham while I help those on the west. It's much more fulfilling than working in some hospital that demands funds for the silliest things. Back home, that would have been illegal. The people would have burned me at the stake if I had allowed anyone to pass away due to greed."

"My kind of people." She laughs. A sharp crack sounds from the field as the bat makes contact with the ball, and the crowd goes wild. It's a wonderful day.

[luv-lock]

LIPSTICK: When You Leave Your Lipstick Mark On Robin's Lips.

Characters: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Damian Wayne.

Note: English is not my first language. Hope you enjoy!

Dick Grayson: The Oblivious Heartthrob

You lean in for a quick kiss before he swings off into the night. It’s short and sweet, but your lipstick leaves a bold, bright mark on his lips. Dick, being Dick, doesn’t notice.

He spends the rest of the patrol flirting with civilians and intimidating bad guys with your lipstick mark still there.

A woman he saves from a mugger gives him a weird look. "Uh, nice lipstick?" she says, trying not to laugh.

Dick blinks. "Lipstick? I don’t—" He touches his mouth and freezes. He puts two and two together and his face goes red. "Oh my god. She—no, wait, this is fine. I can spin this. I’m Robin. I’m cool."

The next time he sees you, he points at you accusingly. "You marked me! On purpose!" But he’s not mad—he’s delighted. He grins and says, "Next time, make it a heart."

Jason Todd: The Embarrassed Disaster

Jason’s about to leave when you grab his face, pull him close, and kiss him. He smirks after, acting all tough. "You’re gonna make me late, babe." Then he takes off without a second thought, completely unaware of the deep red lipstick print on his lips.

He crashes a gang meeting (as Robin does) and all the thugs freeze. No one’s scared—they’re trying not to laugh.

"What’s so funny?" Jason growls.

One of them snickers, "Nice lipstick, kid."

Jason blinks, confused, then wipes his mouth with his glove. When he sees the red smear, his brain explodes. "OH, COME ON!"

He’s so embarrassed that he goes back to the Batcave immediately. When Bruce sees him, Jason tries to act casual, but Bruce raises an eyebrow. "Rough night?" Jason turns bright red and storms out.

Damian Wayne: The Completely Mortified Prince

You catch Damian off guard with a quick kiss, leaving your lipstick mark on his lips. He pretends not to care, but he’s secretly glowing inside. Unfortunately, Damian being Damian, he doesn’t bother checking a mirror before continuing his patrol.

He interrogates a criminal, looming over them like the terrifying Robin he is. The criminal, shaking, says, "Dude, are you wearing lipstick?"

Damian blinks. "Excuse me?"

The thug nods, biting back laughter. "Yeah, it’s… pink. Cute."

Damian immediately wipes his mouth with his cape and sees the mark. His eyes narrow. His soul leaves his body. "Tt. She will PAY for this indignity!"

But he doesn’t actually bring it up to you. Instead, he quietly keeps the lipstick mark on a napkin he swiped from patrol, secretly treasuring it like some kind of bizarre trophy.

The next time they see you:

Dick: "Next time, can we match colors? I’ll wear lipstick too!"

Jason: "You’re evil, you know that? I can’t even LOOK at those thugs again."

Damian: "You think this is amusing? You’re testing my patience, woman!" (But he secretly hopes you’ll do it again.)

𝒍𝒖𝒗-𝒍𝒐𝒄𝒌 ☆ 𝒅𝒐𝒏'�� 𝒄𝒐𝒑𝒚, 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒆𝒃𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔.

[sleepingdiaryzzz]

@errorunfound1

Yandere!neglectful!Batfam x mom!reader

Wayne Manor had always felt vast, but to you, it was more of a void than a home. It was easy to get lost in its endless hallways, in the constant hum of life orbiting Bruce’s nocturnal mission. You married him for love, despite knowing the weight of the life he led. You accepted his scars, his mission, his world. But what you hadn’t expected was how little space there would be left for you in it.

Bruce was always out, chasing shadows, leaving you to navigate a family that seemed determined to keep you at arm’s length. You poured your heart into them—Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian—but your efforts were met with indifference at best and disdain at worst. You had been a mother in every way that mattered, yet the coldness you received in return made your heart ache.

“You don’t have to act like you care,” Jason sneered once when you tried to patch him up after patrol. “We both know you’re just here for him.”

Tim barely acknowledged you unless it was necessary, his head buried in his work. Dick’s smiles, once genuine, now felt like politeness masking discomfort. And Damian, always the sharpest, had no qualms about cutting you down. “You’re not my mother,” he’d said, his words a dagger that twisted in your chest.

Bruce never intervened. When you tried to tell him, his responses were dismissive. “They’ll come around,” he’d say before disappearing into the night. But they never did.

So, you stayed quiet, swallowing the hurt, letting it fester.

One night, you stood in the empty dining room, staring at the cold, untouched dinner you’d prepared. The clock ticked on the wall, counting the hours Bruce was late. Again. You could hear the faint hum of voices from the Batcave below, the family gathered around him while you sat alone.

It wasn’t anger that bubbled up this time. It was resignation.

You left that night, not with a dramatic goodbye, but with a simple bag and a note left on the kitchen counter.

“I love you, but I can’t keep losing myself in a family that doesn’t want me.”

The days without you passed unnoticed at first. Bruce buried himself in his work, assuming you needed time to cool off. The Batkids carried on as usual, their lives too busy to miss the quiet presence you’d once provided.

It was Alfred who noticed first—the meals left uneaten, the flowers on the windowsill wilting. “Sir,” he said carefully one evening, “she’s not coming back.”

Bruce stopped mid-step, his expression flickering. “She just needs time.”

But days turned into weeks, and the absence became impossible to ignore. The manor felt colder, emptier. Jason snapped more often, his temper flaring at the slightest provocation. Tim’s focus wavered, his mistakes piling up in a way they never had before. Damian trained harder, his strikes sharper, but there was a new tension in him, an unease he wouldn’t voice.

“She left us,” Damian said one night, his tone sharp but brittle. “That’s on her.”

“No,” Dick said quietly, guilt heavy in his voice. “It’s on us.”

Bruce found you three weeks later, living in a modest apartment far from the grandeur of Wayne Manor. The door was locked, but that had never been an obstacle for him. He let himself in, his imposing frame filling the doorway as you stood frozen in the kitchen.

“Bruce,” you said, your voice tight.

“Come home.” His tone was soft but firm, the same voice he used to give orders in the field.

Your laugh was bitter, hollow. “Home? That place hasn’t felt like home in years.”

His jaw tightened, the only sign of his frustration. “You belong there. With me. With them.”

“I belonged there once,” you said, your voice breaking. “But I spent years trying to love a family that couldn’t love me back. Do you even realize how much it hurt, Bruce? To be invisible in my own home?”

He stepped closer, his movements slow, deliberate. “I didn’t see it. I should have. But I’m here now.”

“Too late,” you whispered, tears spilling over.

But Bruce Wayne was not a man who gave up easily. His hand reached out, brushing against yours. “You think I’ll let you go that easily?” His voice dropped, a dangerous edge slipping into his tone. “You’re mine. You always have been.”

You pulled away, shaking your head. “You don’t love me, Bruce. You love control. You love having someone waiting for you. But I won’t be that person anymore.”

The silence between you was heavy, suffocating. His eyes bore into yours, and for a moment, you thought he might let you go. But Bruce was nothing if not persistent.

“You’re coming home,” he said, his voice soft but unyielding.

Before you could respond, his hand shot forward, pressing a syringe into your arm. The sharp sting was followed by a wave of dizziness, and your legs buckled.

“Bruce,” you gasped, your vision swimming as he caught you.

“It’s for your own good,” he murmured, his arms cradling you as darkness pulled you under.

(A/n: this is why I don't take money 😅 writing shi asf 😔🔥 chat did I cook or am I cooked?)

[solelifauna]

Yandere Batfam & Neglected Reader Prt. 4

Unemployment was not on your bucket list.

The rest of your shift dragged on, each minute weighed down by the persistent presence of Dick, Cass, and Damian. They loitered, the tension in the air thick enough to choke on. It was unnerving, knowing they were there—observing, calculating. You tried your best to ignore them, focusing on the customers and getting through the shift, but their eyes on you were impossible to shake.

Eventually, you glance at the clock. Your shift is finally coming to an end. A wave of relief washes over you. Soon, you’ll be out of here. You’ve been expecting a call from Alfred any minute now, either letting you know he’s “on the way” or already outside waiting for you. You clutch onto that thought, hoping for a quick getaway.

But that’s when you feel it, a firm hand on your shoulder. You flinch, startled, and whirl around to find Cassandra standing right behind you, her eyes sharp and her smile almost unsettling in its warmth.

“Y/N,” she said softly, her tone gentle but somehow–wrong.

“Can I–um–help you?” you ask, your voice betraying your unease. Cass is just as overtly intimidating as the others, if not more so. You know who trained her, you know what she's done, what she's capable of.

“We’ll take you home,” she says simply, the statement hanging in the air like an unbreakable decree.

You blink, not sure if you’ve heard her right. “What? I—Alfred’s picking me up,” you stammer, trying to figure out why the hell they’d want to take you home instead.

Cass’s smile doesn’t falter. “Change of plans.”

You glance past her toward the table where Dick and Damian are waiting. They’re already standing, Dick’s usual smirk plastered on his face, while Damian looks like he’s already irritated by the mere suggestion of you being in the same car as him.

“Uh..” You contemplate walking home, imagining the quiet and cool Gotham air being far more appealing than sharing a car with these three. Maybe it’s not that far to walk? Maybe you’ll survive the trip on foot? But you know better than to argue with them—not when Dick is involved.

With a resigned sigh, you nod. “Okay,  I guess. I still need to get my bike though.”

Cassandra hums in approval.

The walk to the car was stifling. Dick led the way, his usual playful grin in place, but there was an intensity behind it that made your skin crawl. Damian followed closely, his silence more oppressive than any words he could’ve said. When you reached the sleek black car, one of Bruce’s more extravagant vehicles, your hesitation grew, but there was no turning back now.

As you slip into the backseat, you find yourself next to Damian, who's already glaring out the window like you’re the most offensive thing in the car, and the leather seat that smells faintly of expensive cologne. Cass takes the passenger seat, her calm demeanor oddly comforting despite the situation, while Dick slides into the driver’s seat.

The car hums to life, and soon enough, you’re speeding through the streets of Gotham. The tension inside the vehicle is thick, almost unbearable. You stare out your window, watching the city blur by, trying your best to disappear into the seat.

“Y/N,” Dick’s voice broke the silence, far too casual for the tension in the car. “You didn’t tell us you were working at that cafe.”

You shrugged, not trusting yourself to say much. “Didn't think I needed to? Why does it matter?”

Dick’s eyes flicked to you in the mirror, a glint of something dark behind his seemingly easy going demeanor. “It seems as though there's a lot of things you haven't told us (Y/n), hmm?”

He just completely ignored your question, and like an idiot, you dignify his question with your own response.

“I don't know why you in particular care, considering you haven't bothered to in the past four years.” You remark, crossing your arms. 

Dicks smile only widened as he cooed at your response. “Oh I don't care (Y/n), but you can't just do whatever you want, right? Your last name’s still Wayne last time I checked, do you know what that means?”

His eyes flicker to you, staring at you through the rear view mirror. You just shrug nervously, you had no idea where he was going with this.

“It means you’re not allowed to just fuck off and do whatever you want. What happens when you’re working and a rouge or random criminal recognizes you? It’ll be our job to drag you back.” He says smiling all the while. Dick doesn't really curse, not like this anyways, and it's starting to scare you. 

There was something sinister beneath his seemingly friendly demeanor. The way he was talking about you, it made you feel more like a possession than a person. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, eyes flicking to Damian and Cassandra. None of them seemed to be fazed by Dick's words. It was like they all understood something you didn't.

"Look," you muttered, "I just needed the job, okay? I didn’t think it was a big deal."

He just nods, “Which is why you'll be putting in your two week’s notice.”

Hold the phone.

“I'm sorry what?”

“I'm sure I spoke clearly, didn't i?”

“I'm–I'm not quitting my job.”

“Yes you are. In fact, you're going to call your boss and let them know right now.”

“You’re fucking crazy if you thin–”

“I'm not asking (Y/n).” He says, a certain edge to his voice. “Call your boss.”

You’re scared. You don't know why he’s doing this. Shaking, you pull out your phone, staring at the screen as if it could somehow save you from this situation. You know they won’t let you get out of this. Not with the way Dick’s smile is hovering on the edge of something dangerous, not with Damian’s silent approval and Cassandra’s eerie calm. The power dynamic is suffocating—this isn’t a request; it’s an order.

“Call,” Dick says again, his voice now a warning.

You swallow hard, your fingers trembling as you scroll to your boss’s number. You want to refuse, you want to stand your ground, but the fear of what would happen if you did keeps your rebellion at bay. You press the call button, and the phone rings in your ear.

“Hello?” your boss answers, their voice friendly and unsuspecting.

“Hey Daniel, it’s Y/N,” you say, your voice shaking. “I—I’m sorry, but I have to put in my two weeks’ notice. I—uh, I can’t work here anymore.”

There’s a pause on the other end. “What? Y/N, is everything okay?”

No. “Yeah, it’s fine,” you lie. “I just… something came up, and I can’t keep the job.”

Your boss hesitates, clearly concerned. “Are you sure? If this is about needing time off, we can work something out—”

“No, I’m sure,” you cut them off, glancing at the rearview mirror, where Dick’s eyes are still watching you with that unsettling intensity. “I have to go. I’m sorry.”

You hang up before they can ask more questions. There’s a sick feeling in your stomach, like you’ve just lost something.

Dick hums in approval. “Good. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

You don’t respond. You’re too numb, too angry to even find the words to fight back. The rest of the car ride is silent. When you finally arrive back at the manor, you slip out of the car without a word, making a beeline for your room. You can hear them behind you, talking quietly amongst themselves, but you don’t care. You just need to be alone.

The worst part was, you didn't even get to go back for your bike. Gotham wasn't exactly known for its secure parking spaces, especially for a bike left unattended for hours. By now, it was probably stolen or stripped for parts. Another loss to add to the growing list.

You collapsed onto your bed after a long, hot shower, letting the steam wash away the dried coffee and lingering bitterness of the day. The frustration and humiliation clung to you, but you tried to push it all aside as you buried yourself in mundane distractions. Homework? Done, though half-heartedly. Your phone? A welcome relief, a way to escape the reality of what your life had become.

The phone call with your friends was a lifeline. You started by relaying the bizarre events of your day—Dick showing up at your workplace, forcing you to quit, the awful encounter with the Karen who’d thrown coffee in your face. Arya and Ethan were outraged on your behalf, their voices rising with indignation as they expressed disbelief at how ridiculous your life had become.

“What is wrong with him?” Arya had exclaimed after you explained how Dick had basically forced you to quit. “It’s like he gets off on controlling you.”

Ethan chimed in, his voice laced with sarcasm. “It’s the Wayne family, what do you expect? They think the world revolves around them.”

The conversation shifted to lighter topics eventually, giving you a break from the heavy reality of your situation. Arya’s excitement over the girl she liked responding to her Instagram story was a welcome distraction. She went on a rant about how this girl was clearly the one, and you and Ethan couldn’t help but exchange amused glances over the phone. Arya’s giddiness was infectious, and soon the three of you were laughing—deep, real laughter that made you momentarily forget about everything.

But, as with all good things, the fun came to an end with a knock at your door. You sighed heavily, already knowing what was coming.

"Master (Y/n), it’s time for dinner."

The familiar voice of Alfred carried through the door, his polite yet firm tone unmistakable. You groaned, dragging yourself off the bed with all the enthusiasm of someone heading toward their own execution. Dinner meant facing Dick, and after the day you'd had, that was the last thing you wanted to deal with.

You swung open the door, forcing a smile for Alfred, though you knew he could see right through it. "Hey Alfie, how was today?"

Alfred smiled, ever the picture of calm. "All good in a day's work, Master (Y/n). Might I inquire how work today was?"

You couldn’t help but grimace at the mention of work. "It... it was alright," you said, though the weight of your words made it clear that was a lie. Alfred’s raised brow told you he wasn’t fooled.

"Well," you sighed, the reality sinking in further as you spoke, "it doesn’t matter anymore anyways. I quit today."

Alfred’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. "But my dear, I thought you adored working there? Whatever did happen?"

You couldn’t hold back the bitterness in your voice as you answered, "Dick."

Alfred’s eyes softened with understanding, and the sympathy in his gaze was almost too much to bear. "Ah, I see. I’m sorry you’ve had to do so," he said, and you could tell he genuinely meant it.

"It’s not your fault, Alfie," you replied, feeling a pang of guilt for dragging him into your mess. "Which is why I wanted to ask if I could have dinner in my room today? I don’t think I’ll be able to stay civil with Dick sitting there."

Alfred gave you a sad smile, one that only deepened the dread in your chest. "Usually, it would be more than allowed," he began, his voice gentle, "however, today your father has requested that you attend dinner no matter what."

Your heart sank. "What?"

"Yes," Alfred said with a hint of regret in his voice. "Unfortunately, you don’t have much of a choice today, my dear."

You stared at Alfred, dumbstruck. Since when did Bruce care whether or not you were at dinner? He barely acknowledged your presence most of the time, and now suddenly it was a demand?

Alfred gave you one last apologetic look before he turned to leave, his footsteps fading down the hall. You stood frozen in place, disbelief washing over you.

What the actual fuck is happening?

Tag-list!!:

@sitepathos @ferakillia @uknowimdumb @shycreatorreview @niggrrooo @dhanyasri @cantfindmelol @space1crow @earth-to-mee @rosecentury @yuyuzi-ling @simpingfor-wakasa @bat1212 @sheepintherain @person-from-daaaa-voidddd @resident-cryptid @cupids-pretty-boy @danni1323 @couldeatthatgirlforlunch @erikasurfer @toast-on-dandelioms @hazbinlove @h0neysiba @shycreatorreview @ch1cky-093 @kore-of-the-underworld @krazy-kattzz @ceramic-raven @randomlyappearingartist @bleep-bloops-world @hasty-desert @bellethesleepypotato @lilyalone @delias-stuff @amisupposedtomakesenserightnow @soriansick @vanilliona @thoughtfulbelieverstrawberry @vanessa-boo @kitsutsugikuni @mottysith @beeaskewwrites @starsdotalk @yandere-fetish @mybones537 @mochien0tfound @black-swan-blog27 @phoenixgurl030 @meowmeeps @tatsuri-zomushiki @sereinitysmind @l0g0phobe @alias-sam @fairygardenprincesss @chocolatesweetsdestiny @lunaastars @fandomsanstuff @anakilusmos @d3ad-ins1de @marsmabe @leiiasurez @lafemmii @space1crow @niggrrooo @yandere-enthusiast @eyeless-kun @instantmiraclekryptonite @jsprien213 @phoenixflames498 @fantasyhopperhea @glasscurrents @chemicalwindexbottle @alishii @shortnsweetsposts @caffeinatedvigilantewriter @hellcatsworld @wrenbirde @viviyene @lilyalone @fanfanfantic @cooki3dough @soriansick @anuttellaa @paperhermits @minshookie29 @nervousalpacalady @staarflowerr @expctron @cherrypills0d @foggyv-oid @mybones537 @redkarmakai @badluckinfrench @the-rouge-robin @cheeseburgercasserole @horror-lover-69 @pinkluv29 @twismare @ghostdoodlen @thatpersonnamedrook @xjesterxjacksx

[auroreliis]

What about Reader with Deadpool powers and humor?

Oh Jason would love you.

Bruce would be stressed to the core. Despite the fact that you would probably be fine if you got injured, he is NOT taking chances. There will not be a single scrape on you. He doesn't want it to become a norm for you!!!!!!

And if there is a scrape on you? Then all hell breaks loose. Yeah, you'd better heed his words...

Dick, much like Bruce, is rather stressed, though he's a bit less obvious about it.

Huh? You wanna go run through a field of landmines for fun? Hahahahaa, sure, whatever you say. Now, come on. Let's get you to your room ^^ (You're getting locked in the basement tonight.).

Jason finds it hilarious. What a legend you are, absolutely precious. Would that he could take you out on patrols (You have powers, you'd be fine.). Even Dick is starting to get annoyed at Jay's laughter echoing through the manor whenever you say the most mundane thing ever. Be careful before they forbid you two from spending time together for good.

Tim is trying to relax around you, but he remains on edge.

Oh, hahahah. Yeah. Don't jump out that window, he really doesn't want to board it up...it's his last way to access fresh air.

Stephanie likes spending time with you most of the time, but sometimes you do things that are too reckless for her. Like, she gets it, the powers and everything, but do you really have to tumble down the staircase do get down quicker?

Cassandra is somehow always ahead of you and always behind the corner. You can never seem to get a moment away from her. She's probably worried, but you'll literally be fine, so why is she just standing there and watching you? Also, she's the one who stops you from going to the kitchen and experimenting with your powers using the knives and forks.

Duke is absolutely stressed. It doesn't help that he takes all your jokes wayyyy too seriously.

"WAIT NO- DON'T TRY TO BASH YOUR HEAD ON THE COUNTER TO SEE IF YOU CAN MAKE BRAIN SOUP- Oh...you...you weren't going to? Okay...good."

Damian thinks you're really funny, but he has to restrain himself from laughing at your jokes because he knows that they're made in bad taste.

He sees that Bruce isn't laughing and has to hold it back too, but wow, he really wanted to laugh when you said that you'd rather get crushed by a meteorite than hug Tim's sweaty form.

Also, he thinks that your power is really cool and he would give an arm and a leg for it.

[luludeluluramblings]

Neglected!Marine!Reader x Yandere!BatFamily

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: I’ve been holding on to this one. Army Dreamer sent me an ask and this is what came out of it. I know you probably wanted Army, but I just thought Marine cause of an old COD OC I had and this fricken spiraled. I was gonna make it a three part series, but that would take too long and you deserve it now!

A/N: Frick forgot the warnings. My bad!

Warnings: GN!Reader, Yandere themes, bodily injury (to reader), mentions of death

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

You've been living with the Wayne since our mother and step-father died. You've constantly been ignored and belittled by the family. The most common bully being Damian, your younger half-brother. After constant harassments and being called weak by pretty much everyone for years, you sign up for the Marines after a recruiter comes to your high school and gives you and your classmates the selling points.

But, fuck it, you don't care. Gets you away from everyone. And, it's one of the most difficult military branches so an even bigger fuck you to anyone who thinks your weak after this.

It takes two years for you to get somewhere comfortable. You're not flying up the military ladder, but you’re a damn good officer in the METOC moving to South Caroline. And, a 12 hour drive and 2 hour flight from Gotham. Neither which you have ever taken.

You don't bother contact home. You don't bother going home for holidays and Christmas. You send Alfred a card occasionally with some of your other single and lonely military friends in it. Y'all make them really funny too.

It's through these collected and hilarious cards that you get rediscovered. Not by the family, but by the media. Apparently, not only did your silly photos go viral, but your friends damn military tik tok did to.

("Why'd you join the marines?" "It was too dangerous to be a stripper in Gotham." "Why'd you join the marines?” “I have daddy issues and wanted to get yelled at by someone who cared.")

The family which had still been ignoring you or completely forgot you up to that point was absolutely fucking baffled.

Bruce was imediatly calling Kate.

(“Why didn’t you tell me they joined the military?” “I was Air Force. Not in the Marines. How would I have known?”)

Media is now constantly harassing the family because like, “Hey! Your kid disappeared and joined the military, and you said nothing and now they're roasting you online for the entire world to see.

Bruce is making calls. Tim and Barbara are now trying to hack military stuff. Only for your barracks friends to troll the absolute shit outta them and on government computers to boot.

Eventually Stephanie finds out you’ve been sending cards to Wayne manor of you having fun and doing stupid shit with friends. (Things that you should be doing with them, because holy fuck are you funny as shit.) All addressed to Alfred. Bruce asks if you ever sent anything to him, which was a flat no.

Jason is just baffled. This was nothing he expected. You used to be so soft and squishy, now there's videos of you lifting and doing fun shit with friends and you're shooting guns like a badass. So proud of you.

Cassandra is reading everyone's body language, but yours just looks carefree when she sees your videos and photos, she wants to feel like that. She wants you to help her feel like that.

Dick is distraught. You could have join the circus! But the military? Yes, you're a badass now, but still! He's delulu in thinking that you would have wanted to follow in his footsteps. Acting like he wasn't always busy or spending time with Damian.

Duke is just wowed. You joined the military. You DNGF. You are badass without having to wear any hero costume. Cool shit. Top tier.

Stephanie is just amazed. You had all this personality and she had no idea. You were just living your best life without the wight of the family or our father, and holy shit did she want that for herself. Teach her your ways.

Barbara is amazed, too. This was the most normal form of rebellion anyone could do in this family. Yet, no one expected it and you did it. She would have expected you to become a villian or gone rouge, but instead you joined the military. Color her surprised.

Tim is pissed. Everyone wants you back, yet there is no way to get you back. You knowingly or unknowingly made it nearly impossible for them to get you back without the military and government getting involved. He's pissed about the challenge, and now he's obsessing over all your old manerisns and the photos and videos. (He has the cleariest picture of how you really feel, but he doesn't care that it might be broken or negative. He's obsessed all the same.)

Bruce finds out your active duty and freaks the fuck out. Something could happen and you could be deployed and killed. His worst fear is you being killed. It was bad enough when you were in Gotham and fragile. But, now your military and you think you’re strong. But, you’re not and now you could die at any moment.

Damian is shellshocked. You technically proved him wrong. And, he sees the media's reaction to you. Some people are actually praising you for your service. You left and made yourself strong and made a new family. You didn't bother fighting for this one because you didn't think they were worth it. You didn't think he was worth it. It hurts, but not in away that makes him angry. In a way that makes hs insecurities flare. He wants you to come home now, so he can prove to you that he is worthy. That he is sorry.

Getting you home is near impossible. You have a specific roll that you've trained for, and are on active duty. Your a military dog on a leash the bat family cant control.

It's Kate the gives them the horrible idea. If they got you discharged from the military then you would have to come home. The only problem is an honorable discharge would still give you the means to avoid them, while a dishonorable discharge would make you absolutely hate them and they don't want that. (Plus the media would constantly harass you and them.)

So they decide to get you a medical discharge.

But, they can't hack into things and make anything up, though. And, all your physicals and mental check ups were sound. You have a more administrative position, but accidents happen all the time. Bruce has to make a few phone calls, but your active duty gets you sent out into the field. On a military operation that called for your expertise. (His anxiety is spiked through the roof and he has League Members on standby if something goes wrong.)

Kate also made a few phone calls. You ended up being deployed to assist the National Guard near your area. Only while doing your duties, you and your squad trigger a trap and you lose your hearing in your left ear and your left leg is wrecked. A few of your team mates are killed. (Bruce is pissed at Tim, Dick and Jason for that specifically.) Some lost limbs or now have memory problems. Eveyone in the squad is down and out.

You try to support the surviors as you all recover, but as soon as you’re better and given medical discharge the family snags you. Dragging you back to gotham before anyone can say anything. You try to fight, but the loss of hearing messes with you and the still fresh injury makes you weak once more. Plus, there's more of them than you.

When back at the manor, the family uses PTSD as an excuse for the lack of public appearances, and make many donations to VA hospitals and campaigns for retired and injured members of the military. (They even pay for what the military won't cover for your friends and anyone else they injured in the incident. Bruce has some guilt over you getting hurt that he tries to get rid of by doing this.)

Instantly, Stephanie and Dick coddle you. And, an insane amount.

Jason tries to treat you how he did before since he's so awkward and you punch him in the face in return. Not taking that from him anymore. And, he fucking respects you more for it.

Tim ironically enough, begins to emotionally manipulate you with finesse. He's studied you obsessively, yet somehow you’re still surprising him every now and then.

Barbara gives you space, she can tell this has all been a lot and of everyone she probably understands your injury best.

Bruce bounces between trying to coddle you and give you space. Unintentionally treating you like a child.

Cass is just silently there all the time, almost always watching. She can tell you're overwhelmed and pissed, but you’re still so peaceful to her. Not asking her to talk or forcing her away.

Duke is the most chill. Sucks they had to nerf you, but still your fun to hang out with despite the injury. You developed some military humor and it is hilarious.

Damian, avoids you until he finally breaksdown. And it's not pretty. He finally confesses how guilty he feels. That he is sorry. That he actually didn't want to have to hurt you, that he is a terrible brother and a horrible hero. he never shouldve called you weak. (And, you forgive him, because he was a child. And, because out of everyone he's the only one to apologize and confessed to what they did.)

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: I’m typing up like three stories at once, and my ask box is filled. Absolutely slammed. Last time I went on an answer spree I burnt myself out. Hopefully this will hold y’all off while I finish up Smalltown! Part 8, Pregnant! Part 2, and a partial Part 2 to the SugarDaddy Tony thingy. (I don’t know where that came from, but I’m happy y’all liked it. The original man for the SugarDaddy/Older!Husband was Philip Graves. lol)

[oncillabrigade]

Consider:

The Bats all have personalized ring tones for one another, but everyone has both a civilian and a Bat ring tone. The civilian ones are chaos, with everyone choosing whatever they want for their various family members and friends. BUT! Everyone has a single Bat tone that all other team members use for them.

The catch? Bruce forbid them from choosing their own Bat ring tones because he proposed this plan back in Dick's Robin days and he IMMEDIATELY picked "Toxic." The choice was not well received.

Bruce: Dick, I will not be alerted to the fact that you're in danger by some Britney Spears song.

Dick: First of all, it is not some Britney song, it is the Britney song. That song finally won her a Grammy.

Bruce: *sighs*

Dick: Second of all, it won't tell you when I'm in danger... it'll tell you when Robin is.

Bruce:

Bruce: I'm taking the Walkman out of the Robin kit.

Dick: *offended gasp*

(Yes, Dick is old enough for a Walkman. No, you will not change my mind. Yes, the Tim-and-on siblings all find that hilarious. Yes, Jason has to be VERY careful not to mention that he borrowed that Walkman for years because he was uncomfortable taking expensive electronics out and about with him.)

Anyway!

Dick then proposes a slew of other songs for the whole team to use, all of which are pop culture references, e.g. the Scrubs theme because they're not Superman and also they're a dysfunctional family of coworkers; the theme from the Godfather because "let's be honest, B, we are basically our own mafia"; "Where is My Mind" by the Pixies because lol identity shenanigans, etc. The list is endless. Bruce spends weeks groaning every time his son texts him.

Eventually, they compromise on the version of "The Entertainer" from The Sting because they're hiding in plain sight to enact a mission defending good people in a hard world. Bruce, Dick, and Alfred are all so pleased with this that they each take a different section of the song as their ring tone.

Then Barbara becomes Batgirl, so she gets a section... and then Jason becomes Robin and gets one, too... and then Tim, then Steph, and then Cass is taken in, and... uh oh. That's a lot of people for one song.

But it's family tradition! They can't stop now. That would be so unfair to the new kids, B!

So they start using alternate arrangements of the song. Bruce has mellowed slightly on the "no choosing your own" thing. As long as it's a version of "The Entertainer" (within reason) he'll allow it.

Tim retroactively changes his ring tone to a weird groove-ska arrangement Bart randomly sent him on YouTube because have you met Tim Drake? Of course he went for hilarious obscurity. (Bruce grits his teeth and approves it after lots of prompting from Dick and Alfred). Steph makes it her mission to find a weirder one (Bruce agrees because he's too tired to deal with accusations of favoritism).

Cass creates her own arrangement on theremin because apparently she knows how to play the theremin. No one is sure why. Upon inquiry, she just says, "spooky noises are fun," but does not elaborate further even when she's asked to do so. A Batgirl's gotta have her secrets—Babs taught her that.

When Jason starts working with his family again, he pays an aspiring music producer within Red Hood's ranks to create a minor key remix of the original Robin II ring tone. His siblings (minus Cass) are VERY jealous he has his own personalized arrangement. Dick, Tim, and Steph end up paying this goon who owns Garage Band to do ones for them, too. Duke does the same when he joins the team.

Meanwhile, in a fit of little brotherly pique, Damian steals Tim's original ring tone. He hopes to rub salt in the Robin replacement wounds. He fails! Tim finds it beyond funny that Damian's ring tone is groove-ska. So Damian quietly pays the amateur producer to make him one that's cooler than Tim's. He pays a ludicrous amount, though, because Steph paid for one cooler than Jason's and Tim paid for one cooler than Steph's.

(Dick wanted one cooler than Jason's too, but he had $63.02 in his bank account at the time and Bruce flat out refused to use the Batbudget on "a super cool ring tone that's better than Jay's." Eventually, Dick just paid himself for an averagely cool one. In installments.)

At this point, the Bats have single-handedly given this fledgling producer enough money to quit being a goon and start an indie music studio. His first customers are mostly superheroes from out of town who like what the Bats have going on and want their own team ring tones. Harley and Ivy get in on that action, too.

Then, as word spreads, every local crook/henchperson with a side band (there are many) flocks to the studio to have their stuff produced by one of their own. Gotham rogues suddenly have an unemployment problem, while the city finds itself with a flourishing indie music scene that puts Metropolis' to shame. The entire state of New Jersey is celebrating the dual victory.

Dick has never been so glad someone doesn't like Britney Spears' magnum opus.