#//curls up into a ball. dies.
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:(
#cell screams#//TMI rant incoming dont read if u dont wanna read abt the woes of having a god forsaken uterus#//but ouuuugh the fucking cramps it huuuurts whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy#//stupid fuckin period and its stupid fuckin cramps#//and those stupid bleeding nullifying meds I have to take giving me said stupid cramps#//i feel like someone just took a sledgehammer to my abdomen this shit is awful#//literally just trying to grind out the hr loot drops and im having to afk mid fight bc I keep either vomitting or keeling over#//and the pain meds arENT DOING SHIT WHATS THE POINT OF ADVERTISING URSELF AS A CRAMP ALLEVIATOR IF U DONT WORK#//sighing heavily and wishing chip and misty were real. I need to just be wrapped in a blanket and held this shit hurts so bad#//bc u know with the inner mechanisms doin their thing those two would be warm#//oh to be wrapped in a blankie and held in the strong arms of a warm pretty 9 foot tall gentle giant robot#//or a warm pretty 6 foot tall robot whose also very gentle and very gender and. okay im getting side tracked#//can they just both somehow hold me at the exact same time thanks.#//curls up into a ball. dies.
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hi ive been going through it a little bit
#school is actively kicking my ass and ive never been so busy but they are single handedly keeping me sane help#if you told me like three months ago that id be ahving yet another superhero phase i would have curled into a ball and died#its very comfy here in hell though thats for sure#i adore them sm jesus fucking christ#spiderman has been a fav of mine since i was a kid and watching the ultimate spiderman show on tv#and deadpool has been coming up in the ranks as of recently lol#again#hilarious that i watched dp/wv and came out hardcore shipping spideypool lmfao#i dont know how that happened but idc this is awesome#i wanna do mire finished pieces but i have basically no time so yayayyyyyy doodle dump#hope you all are well!#spiderman#spider man#peter parker#I SHOULD POINT OUT NOT HIS MCU VERSION PLEASE NO#deadpool#wade wilson#spideypool#spiderpool#marvel#ok bye
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Andy: Just like most artists, really. I mean, there’s obviously no reason at all why you should answer any questions about what your songs are about, because the songs should be the statement, and obviously when you start talking about the particular meanings of something, without the music, without the context, it doesn’t sound right.
I certainly noticed with Brian Ferry’s songs that he expresses, reveals, far more of himself in songs than ever in a conversation, and he does it in a way that it’s always surprising – a quite extraordinary amount of revealing things. That’s particularly him. I know that that doesn’t apply to you.
Paul: But, you know, isn’t that what a lot of stuff, this “so called art” is about, isn’t it? You know that someone in a picture will be able to do something, express something you can’t do. Yeah, I think I find it easy, I mean, the same way a lot of people have stutters but don’t stutter when they sing a song. That always amazed me that, and I think it is the same way that you can have things said in a song. I mean, I would never have looked at John Lennon and kinda said, “I love you”, because it wasn’t about that, you know, it was nothing about that. But in a song, in the particular way they’re written today, I kinda easily say, “I love you”, almost as a throw-away, because it doesn’t seem embarrassing in that context. I can always deny that it was ever written about him. Burn the tapes, and delete the…
Paul McCartney, interviewed by Andy Mackay in 1982 about his album "Tug of War" (source)
(note: bold mine, but he did trail off there/was interrupted by Andy by another question. it's unclear which one from the transcript. but nothing has been cut off)
#mclennon#this is what I was trying to verify!#bc like..... this is kinda crazy? and also like#just goes to show that he is willing to obfuscate about songs being about john#like... my man is Not always honest and that's fine#also him comparing him telling john he loves him in here today to someone losing their stutter when they sing#what if I died what if I curled up in a ball and just Died#upsetting!
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I was doing some VOD watching as a bit of fact-checking / research for something I'm working on and got absolutely bodied by this thing Fit said to Ramon:
"You are my light my boy. Without you I would be covered in darkness."
#*FALLS TO MY HANDS AND KNEES. CURLS UP IN A BALL. SUFFERS*#i talk#qsmp talk#this is Fit's June 6th VOD#Head in my hands thinking about how Ramon made Fit promise he'd never go on a murderous rampage if he (Ramon) died#aghhhhhh#Ramon softened his heart :(#or rather#Reminded him that he could allow his heart to be soft
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WE'LL SAVE EVERYONE. INCLUDING YOU
#my post#caps#DOES ANYONE EVER THINK ABOUT FNC.......#CURLS UP INTO A BALL AND DIES#LOOK AT ME. IM NOT EVEN HERE.#I DONT BELIEVE THAT. DESPITE WHAT MY OATH SAYS#COLLAPSES. GAH!!!!!#thanks captain. no problem captain.#<- hm wait he called gill captain. is he doing teh despairing thing where he shrinks away from being captain#yeah absolutely he is. he was about to run away for gods sake#i didnt even realize... i heart chip when hes despairing
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if yall see this account deactivated one day just know that it was because of @karinasbaby and @intromortal
#◢ 𝐊𝐀𝐘'𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐒 ◣#yall will be receiving my mortuary bill#bc that is just diabolical#and cruel#*curls up in a ball and dies*
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In my dream we were passing around manuscripts for fiction writing class. Normal enough, except Badboyhalo ended up proofreading a Fault excerpt. I was in utter mortified agony waiting for the moment he got to the 1st jail break when Halo got introduced, because I was sure Badboyhalo would start admonishing me for writing him out of character.
#I’m sure he appreciated the muffin censorship tho#Better him than literally anyone else actually if one of sbi read it I would’ve curled up in a ball and died on the spot#…for a variety of reasons#badboyhalo#fault memes pog#something to nom on#i am plagued by visions
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#raven sketches.png#Ragged Never Died. He Tucked His Arms And Legs Into His Belley. Curled Up Into A Ball. And He Just Rolled Away
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okay this marks the third (or fourth?) time in my life that someone has changed their pronouns, not told me, gotten mad at me for not knowing, and me only finding out the proper set(s) by doing social media forensics (and not because the person told me directly. b/c they wouldn't.) huh
#dis.txt#and the same time a person like that has kept using they/them for me when i keep telling ppl it makes me horribly dysphoric lolllll#i literally have a passport appt. visit today do you think i have the time or energy to stalk everyone's bios 24/7. please just tell me#curls up in2 a ball and dies. this is why i'm avoidant now!!! how the fuck do you navigate situations like that??? i'm 2 autistic 4 this#just tell me information and i will adapt and please respect my info in turn. golden rule. i am a very basic person like that
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im in so much pain oughbvf. ughsvdv
ill get to your asks. this weekend hopefully. smile
#char speaks#sorrry i only have motivation for personal stuff because im in PAIN and i need BLORBOS#curls up into a little ball on the floor and dies forever
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hi sorry ive been dead, a lot has been going on. anyway
oc jumpscare
these two. took SO long for me to want to share lmao :']
Sea used to be a character in my old jsab blog. i, oddly, kept using him for stuff outside of that, and kept coming up with more and more headcanons, and. eventually, 'Sea' ended up just being his own character, entirely
Topaz. was inspired by a number of characters from various different fandoms i am currently or used to be in. it took FOREVER to come up with a design i was happy with, for her, but I finally settled on this, so-
Sea is a half-leviathan, and thanks to that, he's semi-immortal, as well. he's around 10,000 years old, and has seen a lot in his time sailing. he mostly stays alone, not bothering getting attached to anyone, because mortals' lives are too short. he sees no point in befriending people that, for him, will just be gone in the blink of an eye. that, and most other immortal beings, these days, are both extremely rary and, typically, not very friendly.
Topaz is a phoenix harpy who's been 'alive' about 7-8,000 years [she lost count]. unlike Sea, she can't die. not permanently, anyway. she can get hurt enough to be 'out of commission' for a bit, but she always comes back anywhere from a week to a month later, stronger than before. she was casted out of her village when she was very young, thanks to her 'freakish' nature, and has claimed a mini island, in the middle of a permanent storm, to try to be alone, avoid getting hurt again. she met Sea while he was lost in said storm, once, and theyve been friends ever since [she refuses to leave him alone and he's slowly getting too emotionally attached to make her leave]
so. yeah, there's those two. my lil creechurs-
tbh, once i draw the last one, i might make proper refs of em all and even start writing stuff with em. im still debating but im very tempted to-
#[my ocs]#Sea [oc]#Topaz [oc]#AAAAAUGHH [curls up in a ball and dies]#hi sorry. ive been putting off talking abt these 2 cus GOD I COULDNT GET A GOOD DESIGN FOR TOPAZ FOR THE LIFE OF ME#i love her but ahfbdhgjdbxhhfb#ok sorry im gonna go back to radio silence for a bit cus of social anxiety yippie :']
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I really feel like I should be better at artwork by now as a 23 year old
#im so fucking upset man#i guess depression and my disabilities stunt my art growth but like. tired of feeling so far behind from other ppl my age#i thought i wouldnt notice as much after leaving school but no i still feel leagues behind everyone in everything#curls up in a ball and fucking dies ig#vinny rambles
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#Ignore me#4 months is quickly coming up... 4 months since Alec died#Every moment of every day I'm at a loss for what to do#And how to behave#Keeping myself busy at work is nice. I have#To be forced to use my brain other ways and do things#But by the end of the day I'm so unbelievably exhausted#I'm just masking as a happy-okay person.#I spend the quiet time at work rotating this new reality#It's exhausting to pretend to be okay#But what else am I supposed to do?#It's not fair to the people around me to constantly be on the brink of crying.#To be sad and quiet and idk. I don't want their pity or sad looks#But sometimes I do just wanna scream#I don't always want to hear about their recent adventures#I want to curl up in a ball because my regrets are eating me from the inside out#I fucked up an important part of my life because I'm a coward and#I was juggling too many trashfires in my life to deal with the messy place#We left our friendship. I thought there was time. There should've been time.#A whole lifetime to figure it out. Make things worse. Make things better.#To be happy#And now he's dead and none of it matters#I'm supposed to live the rest of my life now#I don't know how to do that anymore#Nothing feels right or real#Every atom of my being keeps raging against the truth#He's gone#The sweet boy that would make me laugh... share my love of myth & language...#Carry me bridal style... kiss every inch of my face... kiss the palm of my hand#And then hold it to his chest to fall asleep....
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going back to piano is so much for me emotionally. because i had a really difficult experience with my first teacher, who was one of my catholic school teachers with the "you are a "gifted child" and when you're not learning the way that i've always taught forever that obviously means that you're lazy and/or careless". and then i quit in eighth grade because it had become such a struggle to even get myself to get through a lesson because i'd become The Worst about it and she also just wanted me out the door.
but then i took 3 months of lessons over the summer with a different instructor when i was 19 and bOY HOWDY that's where my brain goes when i'm doing okay. "here's how to help you better put the actions your two hands are doing together. here's how you can analyze the piece and see what's going wrong. you're good at hearing the chords and how you want them to line up so go through and analyze the chord progression and put that down and it'll help you" and it just- it was a fucking lifesaver.
like i just wish that i knew when i was a kid that the reason that it didn't work for me was that i didn't know how to connect my fingers to what things were supposed to sound like and that was deeply fucking frustrating. and that was something that i could learn and it didn't just mean that actually i was awful at this thing and needed to stop wasting all of our time
#personal ranting#teaching things#so many of the teachers i had as a kid were. so focused on there being one RIGHT way#and i have either always just. kinda gotten something#or not gotten it in a way that was intuitive to most people i know#and then i just kinda curled up in a ball and died about it#while people were angry at me because obviously that meant i wasn't trying#because i almost always got things#but i had some severe delays with emotional control#social awareness holding attention and physical activity#adhd things#and me just being fucking clumsy and needing someone to go through and do something tactically with me#didn't make me terrible
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!!
#listen listen man I don’t know what is happening to me#I asked the Boy if he wanted to call today because I didn’t want to make him feel like he always had to be the one to ask to talk and stuff#you know? because it’s always been him asking up until this point#but I was feeling really apprehensive about it for some reason and just kinda wanted to curl up in a ball and not talk to anyone until#tomorrow—idk I was having an introvert moment#but then as soon as he called me all the anxiety went away and I talked to that boy for FOUR HOURS and now my face hurts so much from#laughing I just took ibuprofen#do I know what this means? absolutely not#anyway. he referred to C.S. Lewis as ‘good ol’ Louie’ and I just about died#also this boy can do a Scottish accent??? HELLO??? he just pulled that out of his back pocket without warning???
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Me: Why do I sometimes get likes on that one post? TT0TT it wasn't even that funny.... Internet: That post specifically is on "know your meme" Me:
#ngl that explained a lot (but it raised more questions TT0TT)#I haven't gotten any likes on it recently#silly talks#tbh I found out about this a few years ago#but it lives rent free in my head#but WHY???? TT0TT#i was just thinking about it yesterday and sure enough IT'S STILL FUCKING THERE#why is my comment there? jfakljsf; TT0TT#it's not even that funny??? TT0TT#it's the fact I took it seriously isn't it? *curls up in a ball and dies* klsdjfldf;jas;jf
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