#//be prepared starscream... hes STILL A PRIME!! HE WILL MURDER

[brctherscnce]

Plush better be able to run, because a certain seeker on the hunt for enrichment. The only warning is a silent shadow before talons appear for the grab. @updatesatbase (im sorry the little bastard slipped from my graps)

... Optimus was just trying to get used to his tiny form on this odd, mysterious day. He'd been... mainly sitting there, trying to sew up little wounds with thread..

... until-- OH! He saw that shadow quickly. Despite being so small, he certainly still had his reaction time! Optimus quickly ducked and scrambled out of the way, huffing slightly and glancing back to Starscream.

" B-By Primus!-- W-What is the meaning of this--?! "

[double-u-qed]

Hello! idk if the valentine's requests are still open,but if they are here are my suggestions :D (also if you don't like any of the ships feel free to ignore,i gonna put more than one in case i put one you wouldn't like to write :p)

Drift(Deadlock)/Ratchet- IDW

Breakdown/Knock Out- Prime

Knock Out/Starscream- Prime (This one is a guilty pleasure,believe it or not,but this was my first ship of the tf fandom,i wasn't even part of the fandom yet!)

Megatron/Ultra Magnus(Minimus Ambus)- IDW

Wheeljack/Ratchet- Prime

(no joke, part of the reason i took so long with this was because i rewrote it 5 times. i'd get to the 2k word mark and suddenly decide i didn't like it jakldgs. thank you again for your continued patience with me, and sorry again this is so late!

this sort of became angsty?? i wasn't even trying?? it just sort of happened... there was also a bonus scene where they kissed but the ending worked a little too well, so i didn't know how to include it TT)

as always, my formatting is completely gone on tumblr, so here is the AO3 link!

The day had already started off badly, so sure — why not progressively get worse? It wasn’t like he had things to do, or an army to command.

First, it had been menial, little things such as getting assigned to pointless tasks that were far beneath his rank—scouting out the middle of nowhere for signs of Autobot negotiations was a grunt’s job. Hardly befitting work for a trained Second in Command, if he may say so. Having to stay grounded, unable to fly, was perhaps the most demeaning aspect of it at all, no doubt intentional on Megatron’s part.

It was a game between them, a dance. The second Starscream did anything to piss him off, to the ground it was. He was Second, but nobody would be mistaken to say he was also the example, the blueprint. The picture of what to not do, for a punishment—public humiliation—soon followed.

After that, it was dealing with said disposable grunts, which was always a helmache in itself. One thing after another until it festers. They were fools, but — lacking in bulk and armor, Starscream’s always been more… dismissive than their leader. Forgettable. Easy to ward off. Strategy and quick thinking tends to only go so far when the simpletons team up, outnumbering him.

Their leader played ignorant, turning a blind eye to it all. It’s not like he trusted Starscream with any real authority away from his prying eyes. The fact his Second’s rank was always a constant struggling question of power never seemed to faze him at all. It wasn’t respect that anybody felt obligated to give, if not for fear of what Starscream could say to Megatron. Or, rather — what lies he is capable of weaving.

So, in other words, Starscream’s day was already bled dry and miserable, full of snide comments and insubordination that only gave way to compliance through the use of threats. As usual.

And, following suit, of course, Megatron would think it apt to make his day even worse. How typical.

That pesky little message was all it took to send the Seeker’s teeth gnashing, claws curling, and eyes downright murderous. Sudden calls for his presence were never a good thing, and he would be the galaxy’s biggest fool to think of this one as any different.

Everyone, for once, gives him a wide berth as he stomps his way into the central control sector, all the way into the Command Room.

The second he’s there, he’s prepared to put on a show of antics; a strut, a complaint, something deceitful spilling out of his mouth, full of dramatics — the works.

But he doesn’t get that far.

He steps into the room and almost immediately stops. Stops as all eyes turn to him at his sudden (and noisy) arrival. Two new sets of eyes are among them, tracking his movements. One curious, perhaps a bit bored; the other oddly intense and borderline unnerving. The inner ring of lenses and lights contract, an odd look crossing the face they belong to.

That’s all it takes to send Starscream’s entire mood crashing down from the small ledge of sensibility it had been clinging to. The promise of a helmache is imminent, blossoming of little halos that would leave a lesser mech gasping flooding his vision.

He nearly pivots on out on his heel right then and there, determined to head right on back from the direction he just came from. But instead, he locks eyes with Megatron, sparing only a simple, curt nod for the room’s other occupants.

He swears Megatron’s smirk is more malicious than usual as he briskly walks over, pulling his leader by the arm, giving them the illusion of privacy.

“Have you gone mad?” It slips out of his mouth with zero discretion or tact, hissed between teeth. A distressingly common occurrence, that.

“Now, Starscream, what could possibly be the issue?”

Aft. All of this was most certainly intentional. A foolish, childish ploy at annoying Starscream.

“Surely you’re joking.” He once again locks eyes with those peculiar eyes. It dawns on him that perhaps they never left to begin with, following him around.

Attention pulled back towards Megatron, the Seeker watches as his leader’s eyes slide over to him with the utmost disingenuous regard. As if he ever takes his Second’s words that seriously.

His tone, his words, they’re all predatory and so frustratingly calm, as if there wasn’t anything upsetting going on at all. “Have I ever been someone known to joke?”

No. That was so very much a ‘no’.

Something cold and bitter splashes around in Starscream’s spark chamber, a sour and acidic taste coating his tongue as he internall scowls. This wasn’t a part of their game, their dance. It was nothing more than trying to make an even bigger fool of Starscream; despite the fact he had yet to step out of line in a breem or two.

The only thing keeping his glare locked up tight is the fact he’s sorely acquainted with what happens when he isn’t so careful, when something slips through the cracks. His wings the typical victim, phantom twinges serving as a reminder. Even now, they pull flat against his back with the unspoken threat lying between those words. Flicking, rising, and falling in spastic little circles.

Irritation clamps down, taking a bite out of his patience.

He detests change — especially impromptu, impulsive bouts of it like this. His leader, however, seems to find it funny, not telling his Second in Command of such changes to the point he’s often the last to know. Go figure, really; Megatron thought himself infallible, above the opinions and input of others. The most classic example of hubris with the power to back it up, nobody daring to take a stand. Safe, secure, spoiled in riches — that was Megatron at his core. Everything else be damned.

But above all else, to Starscream, the most infuriating thing making his head pound was the very sight of these new… recruits Megatron seemed to have brought along. Without negotiating or discussing the idea with Starscream in the slightest. It would no doubt be up to him to show them around and tutor them in the most basic of things as well.

His grip on Megatron’s arm grows more urgent, a little more violent. “What are you trying to pull? How long have you been planning on having more people onboard the Nemesis?”

Perhaps, in a better world, Megatron would answer him. As it stands, he merely gives Starscream’s hand a little condescending pat. It lacks any pleasant quality. “Now isn’t the time.”

And it never was, was it?

By now his scowl has become very much real and openly malicious when he looks back over to where Megatron’s staring. The red racer—because of course it was an annoying grounder—practically beams at him, something appraising and potentially happy swimming around in his eyes. In response to a glare, no less. That made it bizarre and a problem that needed to be dealt with. It’s mocking is what it is, mischievous with something No Good hidden beneath the surface.

Not caring at all that he’s causing a scene at this point, Starscream leans closer once more into his leader’s space, hissing, “They’re incompetent fools merely looking to reap the glories and spoils of war. You can’t rely on them in the slightest to get work done. The—“

“Like yourself?” Megatron easily disrupts, voice loud enough that the Seeker is certain the two walking hunks of metal must have heard it. Amusement radiates off of them. Well, one of them, at least; the red one had his head tilted and pulled towards his shoulder in a rather haughty manner, face weirdly contemplative. As if he wasn’t sure what to make of the entire sight before him, but wanted to.

Stupid, stupid Megatron. Feelings aside, such disregard for rank in front of newbies like this was downright dangerous. It put his command into question, encouraged mutiny and insubordination.

Not that Megatron ever seemed to care.

The claws of Starscream’s hands brazenly clasp themselves impossibly tighter around the rusted fool’s arm, pulling him down to his level. Eyes never leaving their newest recruits.

“As I was saying, the big one there is no better than that foolish Autobot Wrecker. He no doubt thinks with his fists instead of his head, impulsive and brutish in all the ways that work against us. And the red one — don’t even get me started. It’s a wonder he can see anything past the size of his own ego. Racers like him are always vain, obnoxious, and a liability. He’s not the type to get his hands dirty.”

“Then it’s a good thing he won’t have to, isn’t it?” Before Starscream can ask, he’s already answering the unspoken question, yanking the Seeker’s hands far away from himself. It makes him yelp before he can help it. “So unless you have a better solution, Starscream, I suggest you shut your trap. You’re not as irreplacable as you seem to think you are.”

No threat from Megatron was ever an empty one, forcing the Seeker to fully pull away, reluctant.

He’s aware that he must appear to be pouting now, arms crossed and pointedly avoiding eye contact. He finds that he doesn’t care. “Did you at least verify their credentials? Backgrounds? Training?”

Now it’s Megatron’s turn to lean in real close, sharp teeth glinting. Starscream takes a step back. “You’ve made the mistake of thinking me an incompetent fool once,” the Decepticon leader begins, voice low, calm. “I don’t think you want to make that mistake twice.”

With that said, he goes back over to where the recruits are still standing up nice and tall, hands folded behind them like good little soldiers who had definitely not been eavesdropping.

Behind Megatron’s back, Starscream sneers, petulant until the end. It annoys him when that makes the racer smirk a little, before having his eyes dart back over to pay attention to whatever it is Megatron’s prattling about.

Sat in his usual chair, Starscream doesn’t bother reading the files Soundwave sends his way, continuing to scowl. Head in hand, the other tapping out an annoyed little song into the surface of the table. It amuses him, the way Megatron has to pretend it isn’t happening at all, carrying on with his dull spiel.

The only thing that occasionally interrupts him is whenever he catches the red one looking at him some more. The fourth time he catches it, he almost misses his cue to take part in the conversation.

Lucky for him, he’s used to slipping in and out of roles, playing his part well: offering up a hand despite his inner reluctance, all cordial smiles. First impressions matter, after all.

“Starscream — Second in Command of the Decepticon cause, as well as Aerial Commander,” he introduces himself, straight to the point. “Your integration into our ranks will be overseen by myself, so should you have any questions…” He leaves it open-ended, sweeping his hand out a bit and back around to himself in place of words.

Taking his offered hand, the large and brawn of the two firmly grasps the Seeker’s much smaller, more delicate hand. It’s a crushing hold, something internal protesting. It’s all Starscream can do to maintain his composure.

“Breakdown,” the recruit says, oblivious. “And this here is—“

“Knock Out,” the racer all too blithely interrupts, the very definition of chipper. That fox-like smile is back, his eyes closed. His grip is less firm, but no less unpleasant. “The pleasure is all mine.”

The Seeker is stunned, not daring to speak.

Knock Out’s companion, on the other hand, rolls his eyes.

It’s quiet, making Starscream realize all of the sudden that Megatron is no longer in the room. That left him, the recruits, and Soundwave.

Not that Soundwave counted much for company.

Collecting himself, Starscream gives Knock Out a look comprised of a raised optic ridge, trying to cow him with a look alone. He didn’t expect it to work, and it doesn’t.

Shameless — he adds it to his files accordingly.

Eyeing their newfound medic openly, Starscream is all too quick to pull his hand back towards his chest, more grimacing than smiling at this point. His hand feels strangely warm. “I’m sure.”

Traitorous, his mind screams. That smile, that look, those mannerisms — they were all those of someone who would betray you in a heartbeat. He finds you weak, easy prey. He’s already assessing the ways in which to kill you.

He’d have to keep an eye out and open. To protect himself, of course; whatever happens to Megatron is likely of no consequence to him. What will be, will be.

“Follow me,” Starscream eventually says after a moment of unsteady silence. He tosses the words over his shoulder, already turning and about to leave. “I’ll show you where you are both to stay for now.”

To his surprise, there aren’t any obvious hang-ups from there on. The two of them appear compliant enough, respecting the agreed-upon terms of their allegiance and everything else in between. Their questions are easy to answer and astute, showing that they actually pay attention to his words.

That is, until Knock Out ruins it all.

It was just the two of them now, Breakdown settling himself in his suite. Perhaps that was Starscream’s first mistake.

“Sooo…” Knock Out drawls, dancing his fingers along the surface of the medical slab, radiating an out sort of coyness as he smiles. “Do you visit the medbay often?”

The question stops Starscream in his tracks, blinking. “What.”

A shrug. “Exactly as I said.” Up and up his fingers go, distracting. Especially the way Knock Out was leaning over it, acting so languid. It makes Starscream feel odd, something giddy warming his insides as the other’s eyes lock on to his. The smile certainly doesn’t help. “Pretty bot like you, I’m sure you find yourself in all sorts of trouble.”

What sort of harassment was this? That’s what this was, right? The alternate option felt too out there to be true.

“Are you challenging the authority, the strength, of your superior?”

That makes Knock Out jolt, adjusting his posture until he’s upright again. Again, the inner lenses of his optics contract, expanding and narrowing in rapid succession before focusing once more. “Not at all. That- that wasn’t what I meant.” He scoffs a bit, but it isn’t mocking. It’s incredulous. “I- haven’t you ever been complimented before?”

Yes — plenty of times, in fact. Starscream was aware of what he looked like, thank you very much. But a pristine, brightly-colored mech like this doing such a thing? Someone so vain, self-absorbed? Starscream wasn’t forged yesterday.

If only he could truly convince all of himself of that. If only he could stop that part of himself that’s curious enough to wind up dead. “Whatever you’re trying to pull, I suggest you stop it right now. I won’t accept such behavior in the future; you would do well to remember that.”

The medic’s quiet, something passing over his features too quickly for the Seeker to process. “You don’t believe me.”

It isn’t phrased like a question.

“No,” Starscream snorts, “I don’t.”

Damningly, Knock Out drops the matter altogether, every question after respectably professional.

Still, Starscream thinks about it, mulling the words over. Rolls them around and around in his head until they’re worn down.

The only thing he’s certain of is this; he doesn’t intend on visiting the medbay for as long as possible.

Starscream was determined to keep his promise to himself, but as always, life had other plans. Really, it was foolish to think he could avoid it forever. Didn’t stop him from hoping, however.

In the beginning, it was just small injuries here and there, nothing too major. But every visit was followed by all sorts of flirting, sometimes small gifts.

Starscream never knew what to do, the bottles of polish and paint accumulating on his desk. They were exactly the sort of gifts he had expected someone like Knock Out to give, and that alone was a puzzle.

Since when had he thought about something like that?

Why did it feel like he couldn’t help himself whenever the other was around, always acting foolish and outside his normal guidelines? It was disgraceful and- and….

It made him happy.

He found himself smiling to himself, recalling something inane the medic had said. Some sort of joke that no one else had laughed at. It was a bit of a surprise, just how obscure and ridiculous Knock Out’s taste in humor was.

It was also charming.

And that was the problem.

Starscream onlines to find himself in the medbay.

He doesn’t remember how he got here.

Uncomprehendingly, he stares out at the ceiling, searching for an answer that doesn’t come.

There’s nothing holding him down, but he still feels too heavy to move. Too exhausted.

Lulling his head to the side, he sees Knock Out staring at his own hand, looking bored. A bottle of polish was beside him, giving off an odd fragrance. Not a bad one, per se, just. Odd.

“I wouldn’t move around too much if I were you,” Knock Out suddenly says, not even looking up from his inspection of his fingers. He picks at the seam. “You took a rather nasty hit to the head. Your gyros and systems are probably still recalibrating your coordination units. Or something. It’s not like I’m a medic with training or anything.”

Starscream blinks.

Seeing his confusion, the medic—still refusing to look up—juts his head in the direction of the slab next to the Seeker’s.

Lulling his head over, Starscream sees a Decepticon he never bothered to learn the proper designation of. Their wrists are bound, optics off.

“Had to initiate forced stasis when they refuse to take my advice. Who knew losing a limb could be painful.” Knock Out shrugs, looking completely unbothered.

“And the bindings?” Starscream asks, wincing a little at how hoarse his voice comes out.

Now Knock Out looks up, propping his head in one of his palms as he twirls the polish bottle on its corner. “He scratched my paint.”

It’s said so simply, as if it were only the most logical course of action. Starscream kind of gets it. He never claimed to not be a little shallow himself. “Huh.”

“As for you, I’m sure you’ll be out of here in less than a day. Just have to wait for the dizziness to mostly pass.

“And that will be…?”

“Are you that eager to leave?” Knock Out asks. It’s clearly meant to be teasing, but there’s something genuine woven in.

Starscream considers his answer, placing his head back in the middle, staring straight up. Time had passed — he knew Knock Out’s character a little better now. He was, without any doubt, the most vain and confusing mech Starscream had ever known.

But he was also useful and didn’t seem all too fond of Megatron himself. He teetered on the kind of self-serving Starscream needed if he wanted to be anything at all. To seize control and take over. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Knock Out only joined because it was most convenient for himself, offering protection. Being a medic had its downsides, too.

Lost in his own head, he fails to answer. By the time he realizes, it’s already been too long. Knock Out merely sighs, playing it off as if it were some sort of inside joke between them.

It’s blurted out anyway. “You’re… vexing.”

“Oh?” Knock Out asks, already back to his annoying habit of playing innocent. He plays around with — something in his hands. It almost looks like string, which only adds more questions to the whole pile of them Starscream has. “How so?”

Deadpan, Starscream just stares. It’s oddly effective.

Knock Out laughs. “Hmmm, point taken.”

“So you’re aware of your flirting.” There was a crack in the ceiling. Since when?

“That was the intention, yes.”

“Hm.” That would need to be fixed, soon. Maybe Breakdown would do it.

“That’s it?” Knock Out sounds strangely disappointed.

Starscream doesn’t shrug; just closes his eyes. “Is there anything more to say?”

Nothing. Nothing for a klik too long.

“You’re rather odd yourself, you know. First you think I’m joking, then suddenly you’re aware of it and acting like it doesn’t mean anything. Do- do you not want it to mean anything? You didn’t seem the type, no offense.”

That was true; Starscream was normally the flirtatious type. It used to get him into all kinds of trouble, in the past.

But something like that is also a distraction, an obstacle. Starscream wants power, devotion. People listening and obeying. Romance and the like is tricky, messy. It’s so disgustingly delicate and expectant.

“You’d flirt with anything with wheels,” is what Starscream eventually lands on.

“Trust,” Knock Out concedes, a smirk in his voice. “But you don’t have a set of wheels, so what does that tell you?”

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

“Is this funny to you?” Starscream asks, dodging the question entirely.

“A little,” the medic admits. “But only because you’re rather cute when you’re confused.”

“I’m not confused,” Starscream snaps. Even he can tell it’s lacking in bite, though. “I’m irritated.”

“Then say so. If you really want me to stop, I will. No more. I can respect boundaries.”

But that left the question that Starscream doesn’t know how to tackle; does he want him to stop? It did his ego plenty of favors whenever Knock Out would smile at him over the table during meetings, or the way he’d press a kiss into his hand, bowing and acting as if Starscream was a noble. It always left his hand warm for days.

“I don’t know.”

The Autobots were becoming infuriatingly clever as of late. Broken wings were proof of that, sticking out at odd angles they were not meant to, low to the ground.

It hurt. A lot.

It hurt, it hurt, it hurt — energon spilling out between claws. It stains the hallways in long streaks across the walls, down and out through the labyrinthine maze of twisting corridors. Little splish, splashes echo as droplets hit the ground.

None of it hurt quite as much as the feeling of being defeated, of not doing enough. He’d been meticulous in this plan, practically obsessing over it. He tried to find faults to correct, so self-assured that he’d finally accomplished what he wanted.

Such is life and the way of war, he supposes.

It doesn’t make the sting hurt any less.

Curses fall one after the other as he uses the wall for support. Step by pitiful step, his destination the medbay, so tantalizingly far.

After what felt like an entire day, he does manage to pull himself to safety. A quick scan of the room reveals nobody else. Perfect.

He scurries over to the racks of jars and bottles. He didn’t have a clue what anything was, or what tools would fix a broken wing despite the numerous times he’s been here for that very thing. He didn’t even know how Knock Out kept track of all the clutter. Did he just have it all memorized?

Picking up a blue-tinted liquid, Starscream brings it up to eye-level for a better look.

“What… are you doing sulking around? In my medbay, at that.”

The sudden presence of someone else makes Starscream flinch. Unable to keep a steady hold on the bottle, it falls; bits of glass fly, slicing, rolling and falling, sliding and going. It’s quite a mess, blue liquid everywhere.

It sort of makes Starscream feel like crying. Everything’s already gone to shit, so why not? Why not indulge himself and allow a bit of weakness? Fall to the floor, hand over face, laughing until it becomes a sob?

But Knock Out’s still here, and he’s staring. Staring with bare, stark and liable confusion, an optic ridge raised and — something on his face. Something soft and inexplicably concerned.

Concern? Starscream does laugh then. Oddly, he doesn’t hear it, feeling it, knowing it, from the force of his shoulders moving.

Concern… Knock Out? It didn’t suit him, nor did it feel right; that urge to bow and break under the strain of too much growing in intensity. Like a string pulled taut, waiting to snap. To fray and break, pieces torn and everything else unraveling.

Knock Out was many things, but he wasn’t generally concerned over his patients. He had an odd fondness for the science itself, never shying away from the more gruesome parts of it, even though it left him dirty and dingy. He was fascinated with every aspect of the field. A little sadistically, maybe.

But he’d never been rough with Starscream, oh no. It leaves him confused, spiraling.

His hands feel so cold right now.

The medic still makes no move to clean up the mess. Somewhere in the chaos—the static encroaching and clawing at the edges of his vision—somehow, Knock Out’s gotten closer. Close enough to touch, to reach out; to try and try and try. To try and fix the wound.

But he doesn’t. The spilled energon keeps on flowing, Starscream’s plating pressed tight as he’s all wide-eyed and feeling clueless and unsightly, backed into a corner. He can’t help it, the way he stutters, stopping and starting sentences without lift-off. Nothing feels adequate, processor too tired and sluggish to explain himself.

How was he meant to, really? When he’s already been caught messing around and not where he’s meant to be. Everyone had surely heard the ruckus he and Megatron had caused, voices loud and words cold.

Yet, Knock Out’s acting like he heard nothing of the sort. As if this was exactly where Starscream was meant to be.

Hands splayed, every movement broadcasted televised, slow and measured. It’s a silent offer, one that — Starscream doesn’t have within him to take. He just sort of — stares, really. Follows every movement Knock Out makes with wide, warning eyes.

The only thing that feels real about all of this is the look of disdain that momentarily flashes across Knock Out’s face as he sidesteps the still-spreading puddle of solvent and something medicinal. It’s the only expression he really allows to slip through, everything else controlled.

His lips move — probably a quip of some kind — but Starscream’s too focused on that throbbing feeling behind him, not quite brave enough to turn.

Shock. That’s what this is. He’s so presently aware of that fact, even when the rest of him feels adrift.

But why? What was so shocking about today, really? Megatron was a fool. A fool’s kind of fool, leading his men into danger. Starscream tried, he really did. Tried to make the plan of a fool work.

It hadn’t.

So why is Knock Out now smiling?

It’s there again when the soft tugging of fingers begins after nothing but staring, the other bottle the Seeker had been holding seized in a manner that’s all too gentle for such a petty crime.

It’s not what he deserves. He’s not much the type to wallow in self-pity and deprecation, nitpicking faults and feeling sorry for himself. But the truth of the matter is that he fucked up, defeat tasteless and like dust lodged in his throat, suffocating.

But it’s what Knock Out gives.

“Back with us now?” Knock Out asks once the room stops being so indiscernible, so squiggled and shapeless.

“Yeah,” Starscream answers, out of breath. Why?

“Good, good.” Knock Out’s movements are still so blatant, so obvious as he reaches out, hand hovering over Starscream’s. Eyes searching for approval.

He relents. The why doesn’t matter.

“Your wings, huh?” Knock Out says, looking them over, leaning a bit against Starscream’s shoulder. Starscream’s never put much thought into it before, only now noticing the way Knock Out has to stand on the tips of his toes to really see. Even then, he’s mostly leaning to the side to truly see the damage in full.

“Are you really making fun of my height right now?”

Starscream puts his hand down.

“Thank you,” Knock Out dryly says. Fondly. So, so fond. Relieved.

Maybe that’s why Starscream doesn’t resist as he’s gently guided to sit down on the slab, Knock Out repairing his wings.

“Hey… why don’t we try?”

“Hm?”

“You and me.”

A pause. A sharp, tugging pull of his wing. It makes him hiss, a small, soft ‘sorry’ coming from behind.

It doesn’t change in volume or tone at all as Knock Out asks, “What made you change your mind?”

“You’re nice,” Starscream says, looking up at the ceiling. The crack had been repaired.

“That’s… that’s it?”

“There’s not many people I’d call nice.” He gives a half-hearted shrug, suddenly exhausted. “It’s simple, being around you. No expectations, no pretenses. You do things like this. So yeah: nice.”

And so, so much more. You make me feel wanted, alive. You’re always so fast, so intense; never hesitating.

When the silence stretches on, he can’t help thinking that maybe Knock Out left. That maybe it hadn’t been enough after all.

But then warm, spotless as ever arms gently wrap around his middle. It’s a little too gooey and soft for Starscream, but — he allows it, patting Knock Out’s hand when he feels it begin to tremble ever so slightly.

The entire thing was uncharacteristic of them both, but then again, wasn’t that what it was all about? Or something like that — Starscream can’t remember the last time he ever bothered with something like a genuine relationship.

Throat straining, constricting, Starscream barely manages to get out, “You’re going to ruin your paint.”

“That’s what the bottles I gave you for. We wear the same red,” comes the muffled reply, Knock Out’s face pressed up against his armor. It was like he never wanted to let go.

“Did you seriously give me a gift I was meant to use on you?” He tries twisting around to catch Knock Out’s expression, but stubbornly, the grounder refuses to let him.

All he can see is his finger as he points, gesturing. “It’s cute. Couples do cute things like that all the time.”

“You’re impossible,” Starscream says, laughing. It doesn’t even hurt when his wings bob in tune.

[silkling]

Hi Silkling, could you please write a TFP story where Sierra discovers the Autobot's secret and joins up with Team Prime? TFP never really did much with her, and I think that a shame. I think Smokescreen would make a good partner for her.

Absolutely! Great to see you again in my ask box! :D your last prompt was super fun to write to, so I’m looking forward to this one! Now, I admit, I never paid much attention to Sierra, and the show didn’t give us a lot to work with, so I’m going to have to come up with some of her characterization. And I agree. So I’m mashing her with Smokescreen. It’s gonna a be great. I love Smokescreen very much! I even have a whole AU of my own for him. He’s a tiny happy dumbass and since Sierra has basically no canon personality, I can make her be his long-suffering but still very fond best friend.

———————————————————————————————————

Sierra had been having a good day. Emphasis on the word had. It was the weekend. She had packed a small picnic, grabbed her favorite book, and hopped on her bike. She’d ridden out to the popular hiking trails, intending to take a short hike and finding a nice place to spend the afternoon with a her novel and her snacks. The sun was out, the weather was great, and she had nothing to do today. It was perfect. So, of course, the laws of the universe demanded that something go wrong.

‘Murphy is a cruel bastard and and I’m going to punch him in the face when I see him in the afterlife.’ She thought viciously, staring up at the hulking titan that had just crushed her lunch and bike under a single massive metal foot with a sense of numb disbelief. ‘At least I still have the book.’ She ignored how the thought echoed with a note of hysteria as she shoved said book into the messenger bag over her shoulder.

“Are you Sierra O’Niell?”

She was only slightly surprised when the massive robot spoke. Because why wouldn’t the giant robot that had just moments ago been a jet be able to speak? Honestly, what even was her life at this point. She was more concerned with the fact that the thing knew her name. Her initial instinct was the demand how it knew her name. But she’d seen the movies. She knew that would only confirm it’s suspicions.

“Who?” she forced herself to ask instead, surprising herself with how steady her voice was. It was the shock, she told herself. It had to be. It was making her emotionally numb. “What are you?”

The robot seemed startled, before it snarled something that was most definitely a curse. It started speaking, though not to her, and it took Sierra a moment to realize it must have been talking over some sort of built in communication system. “-wrong human, Soundwave! This pathetic fleshling you pointed out to me doesn’t even know who I am talking about.” It paused. “What do you mean it’s not the wrong human? I just told you-“ it cut itself off. “Ah. I see.” A sinister grin twisted at metallic features. “Thank you, Soundwave. I will return with my prize shortly.”

Oh, Sierra did not like the sound of that.

Sure enough, the robot turned to face her when it was done. “It seems you lied to me, little fleshling.” it sneered. “My associate tracked the signal of your personal communications device. You humans never go without it, I’ve been told.”

She blinked. “You hacked my phone?” she sputtered, and oops, she’d just confirmed her identity. ‘Stupid, Sierra.’

It’s face twisted into a cruel expression of glee. She did not like it. “Indeed.” It began bending down, and then a large hand was reaching towards her. “You shall be coming with me, human. Soundwave has seen how Jackson Darby is fond of you.” it purred. “You will make a lovely bargaining chip against that pathetic human runt and his Autobot protectors.”

And wait, this was because of Jack? How did he come into all this? If this thing was after her because of him, that had to mean he knew about it and it’s…friends. Did robots have friends? She didn’t know. And wait, Autobot?

She stiffened, scrabbling away from the large metallic hand, shunting those questions to the back of her mind to be answered later. Escape the terrifying metal monster now, murder Jack for pulling her into this later. Clearly though, the robot disliked her attempt to flee because it only growled and stepped towards her again.

That’s when she heard the roaring of a powerful engine. It made the robot pause too, and they both looked to where the sound came from. Then, over the crest of a hill, a white and blue sports car came flying in. It had red accents and bold 38s painted onto its doors. Sierra was impressed. She was no car person, but even she liked this one. Only, the car started breaking apart once it hit the ground, unfolding and growing into the form of, you guessed it, another robot.

Sierra despaired for her luck. ‘Murphy is going to die a second time for this. He’d better be prepared.’ She thought with vicious hysteria.

Except, to her great surprise, the new robot didn’t try to help capture her. No, instead it rammed full force into the tall jet robot that had tried to snatch her up. Said jet yelped before quickly getting back to its feet. Sierra heard the should of metal and gears shifting, and saw the newcomer’s large hand change to some sort of weapon, though not one she could recognize.

“Terrorizing humans now, Starscream?” it taunted. “Can’t say I’m surprised, you always were one to sink so low.”

The first robot, Starscream, apparently, snarled in outrage. “Pathetic Autobot!” it roared, and oh, so this newcomer was Autobot?

Except, from the two names she’d heard already, that didn’t sound like the type of name these robots seemed to have. She did notice the little face badges they wore, the white bot bearing a red one proudly on its shoulders while the jet robot wore a smaller, pointier face on its chest. So maybe those had something to do with the whole ‘Autobot’ thing? Hell if she knew. Sierra was clever, and she’d always been good at puzzles and mystery solving, but she didn’t have enough information for this whole…thing.

“I’m not the one who’s picking on defenseless humans, ‘Con!” the car robot barked, smirking at the skinnier jet.

The jet only snarled, lifting an arm that she was just noticing had a freaking missile attached to it, and the white robot stilled briefly, before shooting her a frantic look and oh, would you look at that, she seemed to be right in the blast radius of the missile, and oh god she was going to die-

Except, there was that shifting sound again, but much larger, and then car robot was leaping towards her. It hit the ground in car form, it’s driver door open as it slid sideways in her direction, and then she was swept up into it and the door slammed shut. Tires squealed, and then they were peeling away to the sound of a missile screaming and impacting where they had been a half second before. The jet roared in outrage, but the car robot was speeding straight towards civilization, and it seemed to want to avoid that because when she glanced at the rear view mirror she saw it leap into the sky and transform before flying away.

Sierra slowly sat up from her ungainly sprawl, pulling the seatbelt across her chest on reflex before sitting back against the driver’s seat and wheezing. Her heartbeat, which she only just noticed had been thundering wildly in her chest, started to slowly calm, and she had to force herself to take deep, even breaths to keep herself from hyperventilating.

Now, Sierra wasn’t an irrational girl. She was among the top students of all her classes, she was smart, she knew a lot about various topics, and she had a good understanding of how people worked. She was clever, she knew she had a good head on her shoulders. She kept some of her interests closer to her chest, and she played the good, polite, quiet girl for the adults, because she wasn’t without manners, thank you very much. All that meant, though, was that she wasn’t prone to screaming in terror and running like a madman when she was freaked out by something. She would prefer to understand something rather than be irrationally terrified of it.

This, though? This was a bit much, even for her. As her heartbeat calmed, a sense of nausea built in her throat. “Excuse me, robot?” she squeaked. She wasn’t even sure if she could communicate with it while it was in car mode, but it was worth a shot.

“It’s Smokescreen.”

What?

“What?”

“My name is Smokescreen. Not “robot”.”

It sounded miffed. Which, okay. That was fair. If someone called her just “human” she’d probably be upset too. Hell, she had been upset when that other one, Starscream, had called her a “fleshling”. Smokescreen’s voice also sounded very male, and she paused before asking.

“And you’re not an “it” either, then?”

“No, I’m a mech.” A pause. “Uh, a male, by your definitions.”

“Okay. Smokescreen. Well, I’m Sierra, and as grateful as I am for your rescue you should really, really stop and let me out. Humans don’t handle extreme stress very well and I’m about to be sick.”

“Sick?”

Oh god, did robots even get sick?

“I’m about to vomit. Which means I am very close to expelling internal body waste, and it will be right in your seats if you don’t let me out so I can barf behind some rocks.” she informed him tightly, fighting down a gag.

There was a brief moment if silence as Smokescreen seemed to process her words, before he turned off the side of the road, drove behind some rocks, and popped open the door. “Please don’t be sick in me.” Oh, now he sounded sick. Sierra felt a little bad.

She didn’t say anything to that, instead stumbling out of the car and out of sight, before promptly bending over and tossing her breakfast. She gagged on bile, and after a moment of pause to make sure there was nothing left in her stomach, she stood and made her way back to where Smokescreen was waiting. She pulled her water bottle from her bag, taking a sip and washing out her mouth with it before spitting it to the side, and then she proceeded to drink everything left in the bottle. She tucked it away, turning to her impromptu ride, and opened her mouth to speak, when-.

“Oh slag.” He beat her to the punch.

She was confused, recognizing that as a curse of some sort, and then she heard the beeping from his radio.

“Um, hold on for a minute, alright? I gotta take this.” He sounded anxious, and didn’t give her a chance to answer before there was a click as he did just that.

She heard muffled noises over the radio, though she couldn’t make out the words being said.

“Um, yeah. There was a ‘Con signal. I was close so I checked it out.”

More radio noises, angry sounding ones.

“I know, I know! But I was closest and no one would pick up their comm. so I thought I should st least check it out! It was a good thing too, Starscream was there and he was about to snatch up a human!”

A pause, and then an explosion of garbled noise from the radio. Sierra got the feeling that Smokescreen was wincing.

“Well what was I supposed to do? Let her be taken? Plus she’d already seen him so it wasn’t like seeing me was going to do much damage!”

A growling noise, followed by a hiss of static.

“Yes, Ratchet. I know. And I am sorry, alright! I know I went against code again but if I had waited a human would’ve been in Deception hands and as new as I am to this planet, even I know that’s bad!”

Wait, planet? Was this giant ass robot an actual alien? That…honestly made sense. With that day she’d had, she wasn’t even surprised. Smokescreen was still having his discussion with…whoever was on the other end.

“Yes, I’ll bring her back to base. I’m not going to apologize for saving her, though.”

More angry static.

“Yeah yeah. I get it.”

He sounded tired, defeated. Sierra felt bad, and wondered what was being said to make him sound like that when he’d been so bright before.

“No, you don’t need to send a ground bridge. I’m close to the base anyway. I’ll be there soon.”

There was a click as Smokescreen disconnected from whoever called him, and then she could tell he was talking to her when he spoke next. “Mind hopping in? I gotta bring you back to base. The boss can explain everything. I promise you won’t be hurt or anything.”

Sierra hesitated for a moment, then sighed. She knew she probably shouldn’t, but at this point what was the harm? Besides, her gut instinct was telling her that, based on what that Starscream character had said about Jack, she wouldn’t have to worry about being hurt. Not if Darby spent all his free time around these weird alien robots and came back fine. Mind decided, she slipped into the car’s open door. It shut on its own, and she buckled herself in once more.

“Thanks.” He sounded grateful. And then he was driving off.

He wasn’t saying anything, and neither was Sierra, and she let herself be alone with her thoughts. They drove for a while, and Sierra let herself enjoy the landscape that passed by Smokescreen’s window. He really was a nice ride, she mused. Sleek and fast, and his engine purred quietly as he drove along the highway. She didn’t know much about cars, but she knew his car mode was a good one.

Soon enough, they were coming towards a large mesa. Smokescreen drove right toward its side, not even slowing as he approached, Sierra tensed, about to protest, when a previously invisible door opened in the rock face. She shut her mouth, her eyes blowing wide. Oh. That explained that. Their base was hidden in plain sight. Which…she supposed was fitting, for alien robots who disguised themselves as cars and jets. Smokescreen took them through a tunnel, and then they were coming into a large central chamber. Sierra peeked out if the window to see two other robots there. One, stocky and painted in red and white. The other…was absolutely massive. He towered above the red and white bot, and she had a feeling he’d tower over Smokescreen too. He was broad as he was tall, with wide shoulders and a heavy looking chest, his metal armor painted in red and blue. Sierra didn’t know how she knew, but she just knew that this large one was a he, a mech, as Smokescreen had said.

The door at her side popped open, and after brief hesitation she unbuckled herself and stood up. There was that sound of transformation behind her, and she glanced back to see Smokescreen rising to his feet in his robot mode. Then a voice spoke and she snapped her head around to see the large bot speaking.

“Greetings, young one. My name is Optimus Prime. My companion is Ratchet, and you have already met Smokescreen.”

Ratchet. That’s who Smokescreen had been talking to earlier. “I’m Sierra.” she said after a moment. “Sierra O’Niell.”

Optimus tilted his head downwards in her direction. “May I inquire why Starscream was attempting to abduct you, if you know?”

“You’re very polite.” she remarked dryly. “He said something about wanting to use me to get to Jack Darby, so that he could in turn use Jack to get to the “Autobots”. I’m guessing that’s you guys?”

Optimus shared a look with Ratchet, then looked back at her. “Indeed. Myself and my team are Autobots. Starscream is a Decepticon. Our factions are enemies, I am afraid.” he explained. “We are not from your world, Sierra O’Niell. We hail from a planet called Cybertron. Our two factions were at War on our home, and that War destroyed our world. The Deceptions came here, searching for energon, and we have followed them to keep them from destroying your planet and it’s people in their quest for it.”

Sierra turned that over. She’d guessed they weren’t from Earth, so that wasn’t a surprise. The rest of the information was new, though. And appreciated. “What’s energon? And how does Jack fit into all this?”

Optimus sighed. “Energon is an energy source, and the very lifeblood of every Cybertronian.” he explained. “It is a natural resource that was once common on our home, and somehow Earth too produces it in great abundance.” he explained. “Jackson, Miko, and Raphael became involved with us by accident. They were seen with my Autobots when they mistakenly were pulled into a battle with the Decepticons, and the Decepticons assumed they were our allies. In order to protect them, we took them under our watch and guard to ensure they could not be harmed.”

So, Esquivel and Nakadai were part of this too. She shouldn’t be surprised. She’d seen the cars that picked those two up, now that she thought of it. Speaking of which….

“Jack’s motorcycle is an Autobot, isn’t it? And Miko and Raphael’s cars?”

Optimus hummed. “Indeed. Arcee, Bumblee, and Bulkhead were the ones to initially partner with and save the children in that first encounter. After they were brought into the fold, it made only sense to assign them as their Autobot guardians.”

Sierra nodded as she took that all in. Then she frowned. “I’m involved now too, aren’t I? I would have been involved regardless, if the Decepticons were really after me, but Smokescreen saving me just means my involvement is going to be more pleasant than it otherwise would have been.”

Optimus and Ratchet shared yet another look, before casting their gazes to Smokescreen. The white bot fidgeted under their combined stares, head ducking and looking uncomfortable. “While we are not pleased that the youngling acted on impulse and charged into battle against protocol, we are pleased that he saved your life, young Sierra.” Optimus said after a moment.

Sierra blinked. “Youngling.” she repeated in confusion. Then she narrowed her eyes. “You’re not getting him into trouble for saving me, are you?” she asked heatedly. The very idea insulted her.

Optimus twitched as if startled, then rumbled a soft chuckle. “Youngling, yes. It is a term used by Cybertronians to refer to those of us who are not yet fully grown. Smokescreen is the equivalent of a human teenager.” he explained. “And worry not. In this instance, we can overlook the breach in regulations. It would send a poor message to punish a bot for upholding the Autobot creed.”

Sierra relaxed at that, nodding. Then she narrowed her eyes. “I’m going to want to have a discussion with you later about why you’re letting teenagers fight in a war, but I know now isn’t the time.” she said threateningly.

Both older bots startled back and her tone and words, and Smokescreen squeaked from behind her. She turned and drew a harsh line across her mouth before he could say anything, and she watched as he stared, slack-jawed, before closing his mouth with an audible clack. That done, she returned her attention to the apparent leader. There was one more thing she wanted settled.

“You said the others got guardians, right?”

A nod.

“Well, if I’m going to need one, and something tells me I will, then I want this one.” she jerked her thumb over her shoulder at Smokescreen.

Optimus’s eyes narrowed in what she realized was a faint smile. “If Smokescreen agrees, then I have no issues with that.” he hummed. “All I ask is that you remain here until our liaison with the human government arrives. Agent Fowler will want to discuss some matters with you before you return home.”

Sierra blinked. So the government knew about all this. That was good to know. It meant she wouldn’t get in trouble for conspiring with aliens if it ever came to light. She could also understand why they kept this whole thing a secret, even if governments hiding things from the public wasn’t always a good thing. In this case, it was a good thing.

“As long as I’m home before my curfew.” she agreed.

Another bow of that great head, and then Optimus was turning to stride away. Presumably to make contact with this Fowler. That left her and Smokescreen with Ratchet.

The stocky bot glanced at them, then turned to that odd console she’d noticed earlier. “Smokescreen will show you around.” Was all he said, waving them away with a dismissive flip of his hand.

Sierra, taking that as her cue, turned to the youngest bot. She thrust out her hand. “What do you say? Partners?”

He seemed confused, before slowly crouching and extending his hand to tap a finger to her palm. “Yeah, sure.” he seemed a little awed that she’d want to partner with him.

She smiled. “Good. In that case, why don’t you give me a ride and show me around your base?”

Smokescreen seemed confused. “Ride?”

“On your shoulder. I’d like to see it from your perspective.”

He blinked, then shrugged and put his hand, palm up, on the floor. Sierra took that as her que to climb up, and he carefully transferred her to his shoulder. Cool. Very cool. She just wanted to ride on the giant alien robot, and now she got to. That was cool.

She saw him look at her out of the corner of his bright, shining blue eyes, and she smiled warmly. “Well? Show me around your home, big guy. I’d like to get to know you.”

Smokescreen perked up, the little protrusions on his back wiggling with his apparent joy, and Sierra grinned a little wider. Oh, he was cute. How a giant robot could be endearing, she didn’t know, but he did it. He was sort of like a puppy. A giant, metal, alien puppy. She held on as he started walking, and she listened with half an ear, processing and noting what he told her as the rest of her mind turned over the events of her day.

It had been stressful, and scary, but now that it was all done and she was fine…

‘Yeah.’ she thought, watching her new partner eagerly show her around the small, hidden base he called home. ‘I think I’m gonna like it here.’

———————————————————————————————————

And that was that! I hoped you like it! It was fun to write. The show didn’t give Sierra a last name or a real personality, so I had to kind of do that bit myself. And I was right! I did enjoy writing this. The prompt inspired me to write this faster than I thought I’d be able to. I do not expect to be able to fill a prompt this quickly again. Unfortunately. Also, Sierra is definitely going to be the straight man to Smokescreen. He’s going to need it. Badly.

Until next time, friends!

[elindae-writes]

I do wonder a little. If in your fic skyfire had lived through his crash and had a scenerio similar to them unearthing him like in g1 and found him well alive, what things will occur from it?

I’ve debated having this happen in Unburied. I think I might have him get unburied (hA) but I could change my mind on that. Just assume that the scenario I’ve outlined below could potentially appear in the story, so think of this all as potential spoilers!

The Decepticons would find him first. It’s just snazzier that way. I’m going for Maximum Shuttle Angst. They discover him and they of course instantly know who he is because Megatron and Soundwave did some sleuthing work on Starscream and discovered that he was falsely accused of murdering this guy.

They’d use him to do labwork and energon refinement work. When the Autobots find out about him and are like “give him over” Megatron would then use him as leverage. The ‘Cons would threaten to hurt him if the Autobots don’t let them do whatever they want.

Skyfire would at first have no clue Starscream is even still alive and would just be told “hey, there’s a war, the ‘Bots are evil, you should totally live with us ‘Cons on the totally cool not-crashed warship that is absolutely meant to be on the bottom of the Atlantic ;).” Skyfire would join but would also sense that Something Is Up and would be unsure if his anxiety is over being displaced in time or due to there being something actually wrong.

I think I’d make his personality like that of Steve Roger’s. They both get stuck in ice for an extremely long amount of time, both experience culture shock, and are also both goody-two-shoes who gasp in horror at swear words. (Which begs the question--who would be Tony? Probably Knock Out.)

Knock Out: I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous raging cargo plane monster.

Skyfire: ...You’re a racecar covered in polish. Take that off, what are you?

Knock Out: Still quite sexy.

(Would Skyfire actually say that? Maybe not. He’d probably just silently stand there all flustered and confused and wonder where his favorite jet is. I have only seen Cap in his first debut movie and in the 2012 Avengers so that’s the version of him Skyfire would be based off of)

Skyfire would refuse to be a 50-foot tall shuttle damsel in distress and try to escape.

They would decide to get him an Earth alt-mode. Knock Out and Breakdown would break into a museum and have him scan a space shuttle. They’ve broken into museums before in this show. Fowler would march into the Autobot base angrily pointing at grainy security footage of KO and BD polishing a space shuttle as a giant partially visible mech scans it.

Perhaps Skyfire would be visible in the footage or maybe not at all. Either way the Autobots would soon realize that the Decepticons have a new massive bot on their servos and the Autobots would get really anxious. If Skyfire is in the camera frame, even partially, Starscream would recognize him in just nanoseconds.

Fowler: Prime! The ‘Cons have a new recruit. We can only see the new guy’s kneecaps in this footage due to his big size. Who’s this chonker?

Optimus: This is a dark time for us. The Decepticons are expanding their ranks and we must be prepared to face a new large physically powerful foe in battle--

Starscream: *sobbing* THAT’S MY 50-FOOT TALL BABY SHUTTLE WHO I LOST IN THE SNOW

Megatron is upset he isn’t the tallest bot around anymore. He seems like the kind of person to be needlessly smug about being tall. I bet he made fun of Starscream for being short (even though he’s the one who fragging MADE Starscream short by giving him a new frame!)

Breakdown and Knock Out would glomp onto Skyfire (if they haven’t already joined the Autobots that is). Picture two gay guys adopting a space shuttle.

Knock Out: This is our son :)

Skyfire: Oh, uh, thanks! But... I’m older than you?

Megatron: He looks nothing like you two charlatans.

Knock Out: STOP TRYING TO TEAR THIS FAMILY APART

The meeting between Skyfire and Bulkhead would be... interesting. Skyfire knows diddly squat about Bulkhead but Bulkhead on the other servo probably knows more about Skyfire than Skyfire knows about himself. Bulkhead would awkwardly explain to Skyfire the fate of the data cylinder he launched towards Earth.

Bulkhead: So, uh, you know those... logs you made?

Skyfire: You discovered my data cylinder?!

Bulkhead: Eh, yeah. It caused a skoosh of a problem.

Skyfire: A ‘skoosh’ of a problem?

Bulkhead: It maybe kinda sorta overwrote my memories?

Skyfire: ...wHAT--

Bulkhead: Eh, it wasn’t your fault, y’know? Ahhh, we all make mistakes. I once sneezed on Miko. I once drove into a tree and got stuck. You accidentally created a device that erased my personality. Just another roadbump in the road of life hahaaa ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Skyfire: *panicked shuttle noises*

The public would be perplexed by him. Trending headlines would read “WHY WAS SPACE SHUTTLE ENDEAVOUR SIGHTED OVER A CITY?” and the government would have to scramble to explain why.

I need to keep a good ratio of good guys vs villains. Knock Out, Breakdown, Soundwave, and obviously Skyfire are good guys. Dreadwing will become an ally of the Autobots so he’ll slot into the good guy category as well. Megatron, M.E.C.H., Shockwave, and Airachnid will all continue to be villains. As for Predaking, I really don’t know. Then Darksteel and Skylynx come in and it’s just a lot of bots and a lot of potential villains and good guys. If Skyfire is introduced I’d make at least one of the members of the Predacon Trio a really big villain in order to balance things out. I’ll most likely pick Predaking because he could be a foil for Skyfire due to their massive sizes.

[art-gelato]

The Way Out

Starscream has all four Omega Keys and, with them, the power to decide Cybertron’s fate. Now, he must pick a side. [AO3]

The atmosphere in the Autobot base was unbearable, an invisible weight pressing down on everyone. They sat in silence together as Ratchet watched the holoscreens intently, waiting for some sign of movement from the Decepticons. There was no doubt in any of their minds that Starscream had gone right back to Megatron with his prize—it was what he always did.

One of the monitors pinged, and all of them twitched in unison at the sharp sound.

"It's a high-frequency transmission," Ratchet said, and his murderous tone told everyone who it was from, "with an embedded message."

Optimus quickly crossed the room, laying a hand on the medic's shoulder to settle him. On the screen were two words and a set of coordinates.

Let's talk.

"Well," Optimus said. "It seems we have little choice."

"We could just kill him," Arcee muttered from near Optimus' elbow.

"I doubt it'll be that easy," Smokescreen said, still sitting beside Bumblebee.

Bumblebee chimed his agreement. ::With him, it never is.::

The coordinates took them to the middle of a vast desert, the sun high and scorching above them. Starscream was waiting for them, leaning casually against a large, sandy rock. Two of the keys were in his hand, and he tapped them idly against his thigh, his optics narrowed and calculating as he watched three of the Autobots step out of the groundbridge. No doubt he was trying to interpret Optimus' choice of company (Bulkhead and Smokescreen), but Optimus had deliberately avoided putting too much thought into the formation of his current squad. Starscream was always looking for an angle, or looking for the angle that others were going for.

But besides not wanting Arcee to get too close to Starscream at this exact point in time, Optimus had no angle. He only had a single goal, and it was an incredibly straightforward one.

"Starscream," Optimus said.

The Seeker smirked, wiggling his claws in a returned greeting. "Looking for these?" he asked, waving the keys.

"You seem to be two short," Optimus replied.

Starscream scoffed. "Please," he said. "This is a negotiation. I'm not going to put all my cards on the table just yet."

"Very well," Optimus said, holding out a hand to still Bulkhead when the Wrecker shifted impatiently. "What is it you want?"

Surprisingly, Starscream fell silent. Just when it seemed like he wasn't going to respond at all, he said, "You're far from the first person to ask me that. In fact, I'm sure that's a question you've had for me several times. I've never answered it honestly." He contemplated the keys, turning them this way and that. They were too dull to reflect the sunlight, but he seemed entranced by them nonetheless. "I want my T-cog replaced."

"We don't have the resources to acquire-" Optimus began.

"I have one," Starscream said, making a dismissive gesture. "That dead clone had more use than just being a decoy. But I can't exactly perform a complex, invasive surgery on myself. Once I've recovered, I'll tell you where the other two are."

Optimus rubbed his chin. "And then what?"

The way Starscream leaned against the rock was suddenly too casual, like he'd gone on high alert but didn't want to let on. "Whatever do you mean?" he asked, sickly syrupy.

Both Bulkhead and Smokescreen tensed. They'd noticed, too.

"One Omega Key would have been enough to secure such a trade," Optimus said. "A key which you already had in your possession, and a trade you already have asked for. Now you have all four, and you have no extra requests at all?"

Starscream chewed the inside of his cheek, and that calculating look returned. After a moment, his optics shifted away. "You, ah… you once agreed to allow me a place among you."

Bulkhead let out a sharp bark of laughter. "You think we'll let you be an Autobot?"

"I don't want to be an Autobot!" Starscream snapped back, his wings bristling as he stepped away from the rock. "But I can be a valuable ally!"

"After everything you've done, you'd have an easier time convincing Megatron to take you back," Bulkhead growled.

"Hold on," Optimus murmured to Bulkhead before returning his attention to Starscream. The Seeker was practically vibrating with tension, halfway between anger and fear, seeming ready to bolt at the first sign of a fight. And if Starscream slipped away, as he was so prone to doing, the restoration of Cybertron would get a lot more complicated. "I must admit, we were surprised to receive a transmission from you. We assumed there would be no better way for you to get back into Megatron's good graces."

Starscream's lip curled, but some of the nervous energy buzzing around him drained away. "You're right," he said. "There would be no better way."

"What're you doing, boss?" Smokescreen hissed out of the corner of his mouth.

Optimus ignored him. "Given that fact, as well as our tumultuous history, you can understand why we're skeptical of you now."

"Yes. Well." Starscream fidgeted with the keys. While he didn't look poised to run anymore, his posture was stiff. "I considered it. But I daresay dear old Megatron has had about enough of my antics. Keys to Cybertron or not, if I return to him, I'll be killed. At best."

"At best?" Smokescreen couldn't help asking, morbid curiosity clearly getting the better of him.

"Oh, I'm sure he could come up with some horrible tactic to ensure my continued loyalty," Starscream said airily, with an absent wave of a hand. His tone soured. "He's creative like that." He glowered into the middle distance for a moment before turning his simmering gaze on the Autobots. "But I'm done. I've grown too used to roaming free to be put back on a leash."

This was troubling. Even if Starscream did hand over all four Omega Keys without a single trick, Optimus would want to keep a close watch on him. No doubt, Starscream would view Optimus' restrictions as yet another leash. Additionally, once Starscream relinquished the remaining two keys, he would be out of bartering chips—and at the mercy of those he certainly still considered to be foes. Optimus had met Starscream on the battlefield countless times, and he knew from experience that the Seeker was at his most dangerous (and, not coincidentally, most unpredictable) when he felt cornered.

"Starscream," Optimus said carefully. "You do know that if you ally yourself with us, we will need to take precautions. Ones that may feel restrictive to you."

Starscream tensed again, one heel shifting back over the dusty ground. "I won't be a prisoner," he said, voice low in warning.

"No," Optimus replied. "We won't make you a prisoner. But you will have to make concessions until you've proven that we can fully trust you."

Immediately, Optimus realized his mistake in being too vague when Starscream tightened his claws in preparation, baring his teeth. "I think you forget who has the Omega Keys right now," he snarled. "I could still go to Megatron. Maybe he'll take me back, after all."

"You just finished telling us why you didn't want to do that," Smokescreen blurted.

Starscream lifted his chin. "Maybe I'm spiteful enough to risk it."

Optimus resisted the urge to drag his hand down his face. Starscream ran on spite first and energon second—there was real weight behind that threat. "There will be concessions on both of our parts," he said, once he was sure the frustration wouldn't show in his tone. "Together, we can make this a mutually beneficial arrangement."

"Right, working peacefully with each other towards a brighter future," Starscream sneered, oozing disdain. "The usual rhetoric won't work on me, Prime."

Of course. Starscream was still trying to figure out Optimus' angle, trying to stay three steps ahead. What an exhausting way to live. Optimus wondered if, after all this time, Starscream was finally just… tired.

But that was probably too much to hope for.

Optimus glanced at Bulkhead and Smokescreen. "I want you two to head back to base," he said. "I can handle it from here."

They both protested, but Optimus gave them a stern, silent look. Grudgingly, Bulkhead called for the groundbridge and trudged through, Smokescreen trailing after him with one last dubious glance at Starscream.

Starscream watched them go with quiet suspicion. The groundbridge closed, and for a few moments, the only sound was the occasional breeze rustling the scattered sage bushes.

Finally, Optimus sighed and sat down, folding his legs in a way the kids called 'crisscross applesauce.'

"What are you doing?" Starscream snapped.

"Sitting," Optimus replied. "It's quite relaxing. You should try it some time."

"I've sat before."

Optimus allowed a small smile to quirk his lips. "I meant relaxing."

Starscream made a derisive sound, crossing his arms and hunching his shoulders. "What now?" he asked, when Optimus didn't do anything else.

"That's up to you, I suppose," Optimus replied. "You hold Cybertron's fate in your grasp. I might be able to take those two keys from you, if I can catch you, but I doubt I'd be able to find the other two without your assistance. There could be a way to extract that information from you, but I have no wish to treat you cruelly. It's best for everyone if we willingly cooperate with each other."

Starscream didn't respond, drumming his claws on his upper arm. Optimus could practically hear the gears whirring in his processor.

"Say we replace your T-cog in exchange for the remaining keys," Optimus said. "What do you plan to do next?"

"What would you let me do?" Starscream asked. His wings twitched.

"Anything you want, within reason," Optimus replied.

Starscream narrowed his optics. "I don't believe you."

Optimus folded his hands in his lap. "Alright," he said. "How about this. Once all four keys are in the possession of the Autobots, you're free to go. Wherever you like, to do whatever you like. You will have no further obligation to us." When Starscream still looked doubtful, Optimus added, "Our priority is the Omega Keys, and, by extension, the restoration of Cybertron. How large a part you play in that is up to you. All you have to do is give us the tools we need, and you can continue to live independently. Unless you cross our paths as an enemy once more, we will leave you be. Does that seem reasonable?"

"A little too reasonable," Starscream said. His whole body was wound taut, like a rubber band about to snap. "What's the catch?"

"No catch," Optimus replied. "Only, I don't think that's what you're after." He let his voice soften from its usually commanding timbre. "Be honest, Starscream. What do you want?"

Starscream's jaw clenched. The tightness in his frame didn't fade, but he slowly sat, mirroring Optimus' posture. "Only if you're honest first," he said. "Once you have what you want, what will you do with me?"

"I told you," Optimus said. "You will be free to go. Or you can stay. I think you have a lot to offer, and your talents will not go unappreciated. It will be difficult in the beginning—you have personally wronged quite a few of us. But we have wronged you in the past as well. This war has been long and gruesome, and we all have energon on our hands. The only way we can ever hope to truly repair our planet, let alone our people, is to learn to live together."

Starscream let out a soft, humorless laugh. "You really do believe in all that peace-and-love slag."

An automatic of course was on the tip of Optimus' tongue, but… this was Starscream. He didn't hold the same values or perspective as an Autobot, and he probably never would. So he'd understand what Optimus meant when he said, "I have to." And then, again, the words feeling sharp in his throat, "I have to."

Any of the Autobots, with the possible exception of Ratchet, would have interpreted these as the words of Optimus Prime, shouldering the weight of the war. But even with the Matrix, his base coding was still that of Orion Pax, and Orion needed something to hold onto.

And Starscream knew self-interest when he saw it.

The corner of Starscream's mouth twisted up in a bitter smile. "You're still noble even when you're being selfish. How revolting."

"Starscream," Optimus said, not bothering to hide the weariness in his voice. "I answered your question."

"Right, right," Starscream sighed. He traced one claw over the patterns in the keys. "I want to kill Megatron. And I think you lot are the best way to make that happen." There was ice in his tone that Optimus had never heard before. It was common knowledge that Starscream was far from Megatron's number one fan, but this bottomless chasm of hate… it was something else. Something that made Optimus feel cold in spite of the desert sun.

Starscream stood, like a butterfly knife unfolding, and closed the ground between them with stalking, deliberate steps. "You won't kill him, because you think Megatronus is still in there somewhere," he said, stopping barely a yard from where Optimus was sitting. "But I know better. I watched Megatronus crumble away. There's nothing of him left."

Optimus tilted his head back. It was strange to see Starscream from this angle, all his sharp edges cutting into the blue sky above. "I have to believe he has a chance," he said.

"Please, feel free to," Starscream replied, purring and sweet. "Give him every opportunity. Let the war drag on and on because you can't bring yourself to pull the plug on a dead friend." He displayed his claws inches from Optimus' face, a promise and a threat. His next words were barbed and poison-tipped. "Just don't get in my way when the time comes."

Optimus closed his optics and vented deeply. "I can't condone that," he said. "But…" He heaved himself onto his feet. "I can't stop you, either."

"Oh, I'm sure you could figure out something," Starscream said, taking a wary step back.

Optimus considered Starscream—the way he'd put distance between them now that Optimus had the height advantage once more, the way his wings lowered obsequiously, the way he always had one foot towards the exit. Did he even realize he was doing it? Or was it so deeply ingrained in his processor by now that it came automatically?

"I can't stop you," Optimus repeated. "Not in good conscience."

Starscream gave him a long, hard look. "Then, I suppose," he said eventually, holding out the keys, "that we've come to an understanding."

"Yes," Optimus said. "I believe we have."

He reached for the keys, but Starscream yanked them back at the last second. "One thing," Starscream said.

Optimus kept his hand outstretched. "Just one?"

"Ha, ha." Starscream's wings lifted, and he squared his shoulders—the very picture of stubborn defiance. "Don't expect me to be a good guy. I'll help you, but only for my own gain. Once Megatron's dead, I'm gone."

"I can work with that," Optimus replied.

Starscream's optics flicked up and down with suspicion, but he slapped the keys into Optimus' waiting palm. "Let's get this over with," he muttered.

"That's the spirit," Optimus said, and called for a groundbridge back to base.

In his spark, Optimus knew there was still something Starscream wasn't telling him. Whether through outright lies or cunning omissions, Starscream avoided sharing the whole truth like a scraplet hive. It was very possible Optimus was essentially bringing a live grenade into the heart of the Autobot operations by allowing Starscream entrance.

And yet… Optimus kept thinking about the way Starscream declared his intention to kill Megatron. There had been honesty in that hatred, and something both deeply personal and utterly implacable. Optimus was sure that whatever duplicity Starscream had planned, it would come after Megatron's ultimate fate. For now, they could—if not trust him—at least count on him to be corkscrewing in the same general direction as the Autobot cause.

It wouldn't be easy, any of it. He needed to convince the rest of the Autobots to tolerate Starscream's presence, and Starscream, a contrarian to the core, would make sure Optimus had his work cut out for him.

It would be worth it, though. With the Omega Keys, the end of the war might just finally be in sight, and Optimus had to believe—Orion had to believe that there was a way out.

For all of them.

[thanksjro]

Eugenesis Part Two, Scene Two: THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN

The Quintessons are about to take off. They’re gonna go wreck shop, as they are wont to do.

Speaking of Cybertron, we meet a different cast of characters than who we’ve been following so far. Blitzwing walks into the repair by looking for Sygnet- a character I am assuming is an OC, and also some sort of robotic swan-creature- and just about pisses himself in terror when he sees Scourge’s disembodied head just laying on a table, doing a "Prowl, circa The Transformers The Movie” impression.

And if Scourge is here, that means- could it be?

Blitzwing wanders around this little chop-shop of horrors, really just hating everything going on here.

Hmm. We’ll count that one as a half-tick to the tally of Mechpreg Theming.

Okay, that’s kind of funny.

Blitzwing’s not one to respect one’s personal privacy, and barges in anyway. He’s met with the operating theatre where all the best of the best- or worst of the worst, since this is the ‘Cons we’re talking about- got outfitted with their most deadly weapons and crazy gadgets. He finds the engineer and tells him they’re wanted in the throne room by Soundwave. Sygnet is currently working on Scourge’s exploded body- but it’s not like the guy’s going anywhere, so they head out.

They meet Misfire and Slugslinger in the hallway, looking a little worse for wear after going into the sticks to find that Micromaster, who is presumed dead. Until I see a body, I’m not buying it. We’re working with comic-mortality here.

In the throne room, Soundwave’s decided to let some light in so it looks a little less like someone’s murder basement. Soundwave himself is decidedly absent, but there’s still a lot of friends hanging out.

Oh fuck yeah.

I have something to admit.

I love Cyclonus.

Not just in the IDW comics, though that’s definitely my favorite rendition of him as a character. I love every version of this stupid purple space jet. I was so happy when I found out he was in this novel, you have no idea. Roberts if you hurt so much as a metaphorical hair on his head, I swear to Christ-

Okay. I’ve had my moment.

Cyclonus isn’t exactly happy that Scourge’s recovery is taking so long. Sygnet points out that because both he and Cyclonus are from the 𝔽𝕌𝕋𝕌ℝ𝔼, he’s having a bit of trouble fixing things. The fact that this hasn’t been an issue before means that either Cyclonus and Scourge are really good at fighting, or Cyclonus’ single brain cell didn’t retain the information from the last time something like this happened. Sygnet also mentions that the explosion was likely self-inflicted, which makes sense, seeing as there was a bomb in his chest. We already know this, because I’m a greedy little sucker who wants it all and combed through the Liars, A-to-D script.

Why was it even called Liars, A-to-D, anyway? Nobody was really telling fibs, to my memory.

Anyway.

Cyclonus, dear, stop sexually harassing the doctor, or it’s going to take even longer to get your flying boat back in the air.

Swindle pushes past the engineer/doctor/these terms really ought to be interchangeable seeing as they’re robots, having just gotten back from checking on a false lead on the Autobots. This scene is simply awash with assholes.

Soundwave shows up, and it’s mentioned that he smiles at everyone, though they can’t see it due to his mouthplate. What a polite boy.

I checked, by the way; Soundwave does indeed have a mouth in the Marvel comics.

Uncomfortable.

Soundwave’s been in command for roughly ten minutes, and he’s already had so many good things come to him. That double-agent he planted roughly five-hundred years ago? Just did his job. Rodimus Prime? Dead or about to be. The Autobots? In disarray. The location of their base of operations? Narrowed down to within a mile. Galvatron, who’s that? I don’t know her, I’m too busy being THE BEST FUCKING LEADER OF THE DECEPTICONS EVER BUILT. Suck on that, Starscream. I’d say that everyone should stan Soundwave, but I’m pretty sure K-pop doesn’t exist on Cybertron.

The Decepticons are heading to Iacon tomorrow. Things are about to get buck-wild.

Meanwhile, back on Earth, the shuttle holding Mirage and his entourage is preparing to jump via sub-space portal. Mirage is still being a lil’ bitch, so nobody bothers to include him in their talk about where they want to be assigned next- they’ve been on Earth for quite some time, after all.

Hound is about to initiate the jump, then promptly aborts- there’s a warp gate that just opened up right in front of them, and it isn’t one they ordered. Out flies the Enslaver, one of the warships manned by the Quintessons, and it’s heading straight for Earth- and Autobot City.

Stop trying to make “humes” happen, Bluestreak, it’s never gonna happen.  

Our shuttle buddies call up Magnus, who gets his folks ready for a fight. Mirage has an idea, and has their cloaked- luckily- shuttle fly as close to the underbelly of this massive warship as possible for a structural scan.

Got lots of characters getting thrown into the fray here. They’ll be clashing soon enough, I’m excited to see it.

[insertmanyfandomshere]

Transformers hotel!Au

Was at Universal Studios today and saw a cafe called Starbot cafe. I accidentally said Starbot Hotel, and this hotel au just suddenly popped up in my head. My first au, so please, no flames, and tell me what you think!

(Tfa bots keep their design, but relationships may differ a little to fit into this au. Nothing too major though, so don’t worry.)

Scenario: Optimus and Megatron (TFP) opens a hotel on Cybertron some day after the war ends. Former faction members from both sides end up being the hotel staff, and the hotel is still somehow running.

TFP Autobots

Optimus - Owner and propagandist (also would make random appearances at hotel and 1) stand there looking cool or 2) help lost people find their way because certain porters aren’t doing their duties.

Ratchet - Grumpy head medic that does not want to actually be there over half the time. Stationed with duty 24/7 and constantly wants to bash head in.

Arcee - Porter #1 - drives everyone (and their luggages) to their rooms (is always getting annoyed by the other two porters and will not so subtlety force them to do their duties without running off)

Bumblebee - Promoter #1 (Actually a main reason why people go to StarBot Hotel is because of how adorable Bee is, but he’s a good promoter too. Secretly fanboys over every ship happening in the hotel and helped play matchmaker in some situations. Tfa Bumblebee is his twin of sorts.)

Bulkhead - Assistant nurse to Ratchet who always (accidentally) trashes the medbay more than keeping it in order. Always tries his best however, no matter what Ratchet says, so give him a break

Smokescreen - Porter #2 (hyper and fast, and will actually get the job done efficiently if he actually stops skipping duty to race with KO and Tfa Bunblebee. Gossips about relationships on off time, mostly to Tfp Bumblebee)

Ultra Magnus - Security guard #1 (tells everyone to be rule abiding. Seem to always have eyes everywhere 24/7. He and Soundwave makes a good team)

Wheeljack - Stunt performer who gives free shows to hotel users and tells people to blow up Ratchet’s medbay and blame it on Bulkhead. Flirts with Ratchet even though neither are romantically interested in one another.

TFP Decepticons

Megatron - Co Owner, receptionist and chambermaid (Optimus tells him that he scares everyone away and stuck him with cleaning duty unfortunately)

Starscream - Promoter #2 (Actually does a good job at convincing people to stay in the hotel with his convincingness. Helps out anyone else who needs it when off duty (except for Megatron))

Soundwave - Security guard #2 (Scares everyone silently into abiding the law. Magically appears whenever someone is about to do something wrong and stares at them until they get the cue and stops what they’re doing. Lazerbeak is his son and prodigy security guard-in-training and he would casually kill anyone who looks down upon him. In semi relationship with SS)

Knockout - Head cleaner, part time medic to help Ratchet (always yells at people who accidentally nicks the ground, wall or anything in the hotel even a little bit. When helping Ratchet, both constantly argues about each others’ choice of assistant. Also sneaks off during duty to race, much to everyone’s annoyance.)

Breakdown - Knockout’s assistant who always (accidentally) messes up what he’s supposed to clean (GIVE THIS BEAN A BREAK HE’S TOO BIG) Knockout understands though, and never calls him out.

Dreadwing - Security guard #3 (passive aggressively scares everyone to be law abiding by carrying his huge cannon around, and telling everyone earnestly that it’s dishonourable to break the rules)

Airachnid - Security camera manager #1 (doesn’t really care if a crime is being committed or not, thinks murdering is fine as long as not bloody so that knockout does not have a hissy fit. Thank goodness U.M. and S.W keeps everyone in check. Doesn’t like her partner on duty and secretly plotting to kill her.)

Shockwave - Receptionist #1 (Tries not to act as if he’s done with life. The mono optic makes it a little hard.)

Steve the Vehicon - The random jester that makes everyone laugh and has a not-so-secret admiration for Starscream

Other Eradicons and Vehicons - Cooks (and sometimes chambermaids and cleaners as well? Always gossip about the latest news regarding the mechs working in the hotel and is just done with their superiors and Lugnut)

TFA Autobots

TFA Optimus - Next in line to inheriting hotel (Optimus TFP’s Son. Is the kind and unsure person who tries his best and yet have things backfire in his face sometimes and have others questioning his authority. His dad is there to teach him though, everything will be fine.)

Prowl - Yoga instructor (gives everyone free yoga lessons and sometimes even karate. Tells everyone to either ignore TFA bumblebee or just kick his aft. Completely clueless to Jazz’s swooning, poor birb.)

TFA Bumblebee - Porter #3 (like Smokescreen, is hyper and fast and would be efficient if he wasn’t always leaving the job for Arcee to complete. Bails on duty sometimes to go racing with KO and Smokescreen. Sometimes Blitzwing catches all of them and sticks them with kitchen serving duty. Doesn’t like to be referred to as ‘Bumblebee’s twin.)

Jazz - Music provider / DJ (seriously, he comes up with the best songs. Provides the right kind of music for different occasions. Secretly head over heels for TFA Prowl. Is a really chill guy until you question his music tastes.)

Sentinel Prime - Receptionist #2 (is secretively scared of TFP Optimus but constantly undermines TFA Optimus. TFP Optimus puts him in line tho. Shockwave is secretly done with S.P.)

TFA Decepticons

TFA Megatron- Head chef?? Constantly tries to poison energon for bots and food for humans but always gets thwarted by Ultra Magnus (TFP) Also needs to learn how to treat the Vehicons and Eradicons better, but they always get back at him.

Lugnut - TFA Megatron’s assistant chef. (Worships the food and energon prepared by the guy. Also tries (and fails) to influence the cooks (Vehicons And Eradicons) with Megatron’s ‘mightiness and amazingness with cooking)

Blitzwing - Hotel supervisor and manager (Icy is extremely strict, calm and civil to patrons and tolerates paperwork. Hothead blows up at everyone and incinerates paperwork and Random just cannot be bothered with paperwork. Also in a semi relationship with TFA Bumblebee.)

TFA Starscream - (By a weird twist of fate) Megatron’s superior. Makes Megatron make extra dishes and energon as he pleases just because he could. (Doesn’t give two shits about Megatron poisoning food, ironically, even though he’s drinking that energon too)

Blackarachnia - On security cam duty with Airachnid. Surprisingly they do not get along and butt heads constantly. (Case to point, Thank Primus for Ultra Magnus and Soundwave (and lazerbeak). Knows that Airachnid wants to kill her but doesn’t bother with such petty thoughts, seeing that there’s three (four?) security guards on duty)

[hanaby-3]

TransformFriday

Okay, this is an idea that I've been meditating for a long time but I think now is the perfect time to carry it out. Because my favorite comic book (Transformers MTMTE-LL) will soon come to an end, I have decided to carry out this idea: my own Top Ten of favorite transformers... drawing version! The truth is that the end of MTMTE and LL generates me many mixed emotions: on the one hand I am happy because at last I will be able to know the end of the story and I will not observe how my favorite series becomes the next infinitetale (I will not say names ... but we all know who they are ...) but on the other hand I'm so sad about it. This is a story that has marked me and I know that when the comic ends I will no longer be the same person as before. This (at least for me) is a special moment, comparable to when Inuyasha, Death Note and Evangelion ended. I remember fondly when I started reading it: back then I still had the hype of transformers prime and I was looking for more things about it and then a friend in a forum recommended Transformers More Than Meets the Eye and I started reading it (specifically I got it in chapter 18, the house of ambus) and I was speechless with what I found. All the characters were so similar and at the same time so different from everything I already knew. I remember how I was surprised by the lore and all the mythology that had been assembling around the transformable robots and seeing how a world was created so unique and credible with such a cliche premise and yet I fell completely in love with it. I hallucinated with neurosurgery and empurata, I loved how action and psychology were balanced in about 20 pages in such a harmonious way, and the characters ... my god, the characters! I love how James Roberts takes you by the hand and makes you walk the halls of lost light with his characters, I remember being so sad with Tailgate's disease, getting excited about the battle between cyclones and Starsaber, to love and hate the same time to Tarn for his personality, to be moved for the scavengers, the evolution of rodimus and Megatron. For my Transformers it has not been another series of my childhood. James Roberts and Alex Minle have taught me what someone can do with dedication, hard work and a lot of imagination and their comics are not an empty reading. Thanks to this story I have learned so many important lessons from life and myself, I have come to learn how strong and courageous I can be. Thanks to MTMTE I was encouraged to write and draw my first comic, I learned that the hardest It is forgiveness to yourself, I have learned that it is not bad to ask for help and how powerful teamwork is, thanks to TMTMTE I wrote my degree thesis ... My God I can say it, Thanks to Transformers I got graduated! And finally, thanks to MTMTE transformers I still find the strength to continue doing what I like, which is to draw. That's why I decided to celebrate these last months of Transformers drawing my ten favorite characters and of course explaining why every Friday (of course the position 1 and 2 already know them, I'll leave you below the links if you're interested) because the end of this wonderful saga will also mark the end of a stage of my life and is that the truth, without TMTMTE I would be a completely different person and that is why it is and always will be one of my favorite series.

Top Ten

1.-Prowl    

If you have read any of the wreckers comics then you know that Prowl is a bastard. He is not a noble, kind, or honest hero, I can not even call him good. Actually Prowl is a villain who "fortunately" plays for the good side. If I had to define Prowl in a word that would be hate. He hates the decepticons, he hates the new cybertron, he hates his leader/friends for not listening him, even I think that sometimes he hates himself, his life and especially his failures and that's why I love it. I love the contradiction and the final message of Prowl: hatred has turned him into what he most detests. Ironically, Prowl is more decepticon than many cons and at the same time that hate is the fuel that drives him to improve every new plan and fight for a future and a peace that may get to destroy him. He is cruel, manipulative and ruthless but also has moments of weakness and even compassion ................. although he is still a bastard and has not been able to overcome his ex-boyfriend. I love Prowl because he is not a character, he is a person, he is very real and very human and the world and his own decisions have made him into what he is today.

2.- Starscream    

    Leaving megatron aside, my favorite decepticon is Starscream. Either in comics or in the animated series Screamer always amuses me and always manages to make me smile ... basically because I love to see him fail in everything he does. I do not joke, either bad luck or his own ambition always make him fail. If Prowl is hatred, Starscream is ambition. he reminds me a little the homuncle of FMAB Greed, he wants it all, power, wealth, fame, fear, respect and especially the decepticon leadership.

He knows he is the best option to be the leader of the decepticons and he is an incredibly ruthless person who does not hesitate to lie, murder and manipulate everyone to meet their own whims but like Prowl Star is much more than just ambition. I'm not going to say that he's not so bad or he can redeem himself or some stupidity of the style (I really hate that) but Starscream has a reason to be like that. He is an incredibly lonely person who has struggled to survive before, during and after the war. He has learned that he can not count on anyone because sooner or later they will betray him and that is why he only sees the people around him as pawns. He's logic: if you do not approach or attach to anyone they can not betray you. deep down he knows that sooner or later his bad deeds will overtake him and he must prepare himself.

And yet Starscrean has virtues as great as his flaws: he is incredibly determined and hardworking, when he wants something he does not skimp on resources, time or effort in getting it, he is extremely intelligent (probably not as much as Prowl but he is a force to have in account) and he always learns from his mistakes. I would say that's why he has had such a long reign in comics and even has moments of humanity and genuine compassion. Maybe he really wants to redeem himself ... but he knows that he is beyond all salvation and that for him it is too late.

3.-Cyclonus

The truth is that this is a character that I find it hard to talk about, basically because he is someone I love so much and I identify so much that I block myself. 

I will start strong: Cyclonus is my perfect waifu, he is a revision to the classic stereotype of the solitary warrior and constantly reminds us that every age, however dark or terrible it may have been, created beauty. Fuck, Cyclonus loves any form of art: music, writing, architecture and also he is a killing machine that can slice just about anyone, what else could you ask for? And in spite of him being so cultured he has a huge darkness inside him, of course Cy is fully aware of that and always tries to channel it ... with mixed results.

But the truth is that the feature with which I most identify with cyclonus is his sense of honor and loyalty, that is something that resonates a lot with me. The moment that I see Cyclonus is willing to do him on the side in order to ensure the happiness of the person he loves the most is something that makes my throat tighten. Besides that his relationship with Tailgate is the best yaoi I've read, let's be honest and he has the best sentence ever written. you want to know? You will have to read the comic because the spoiler is not from God.

4.- Megatron

Of course Megsi was to be in my topten, he is almost a god in my pantheon (sorry optimus). I love all the incarnations of Megatron except for the transformers prime novel (seriously, a revolutionary who hates the primes but he wants to be a prime …. what the hell?) But my favorite so far is the IDW Megatron , he is a very complex character that goes through different stages: fallen, self-discovery, acceptance, temptation, redemption … all a carousel of emotions. He pass from being a ruthless murderer to a pacifist in constant conflict with himself. Although my favorite aspect about megatron is its moral: we all deserve a second chance … but redeption is not as easy as bowing your head and apologizing. Throughout MTMTE and LL Megs works every minute of his life to redeem his mistakes even when he knows they are too big and as he advances towards his death he knows perfectly well that there is a possibility that no one will forgive him but that does not stop him. Megatron words always resonate strongly within me: We are all work in progress.

5.- RungMy second perfect waifu and a cinnamon roll too pure for this world. Rung is the most adorable autobot ever drawn … until he takes off his glasses and becomes the greatest latinlover ever created. But leaving aside my inclination for robots, Rung is an incredible character, I know that many joke about the theory which says that Rung is the self-inception of Roberts, but I think that rather Rung is the connection with the reader. He is a character that has been kept at bay from most problems by having a very convenient good luck, he is skinny, short, lovable, sometimes too much kind and he prefers conversation rather than confrontation but he is not weak On the contrary, Rung has incredible mental and emotional strength. he has not only endured that everyone, absolutely ALL mispronounce his name at least once, Rung listens to the problems and confessions of others around him to make a living; he literally knows the worst of all, he knows the darkness that dwells within each of his companions … and that never stops him from helping or comforting others. If I had to define the role of Rung in some archetype that would be the maternal one. Of course there are parents in fiction who are loving and protective, but the mother figure always ends up being kinder, the comforter and the one that drives you to improve and that is precisely the raxon for which I love Rung.I have met many maternal characters but what makes the difference with Rung (besides being male) is the moment in which (spoiler alert) during the kidnapping of Fortress Maximus, Rewind reproduces a part of the torture in Garrus 9 and Max, realizing that he is doing exactly the same as Overlord and reliving those horrible memories, he throws himself to the ground to mourn and Rung, with a patience of a saint, despite the kidnapping and even though Max had yanked his thumb out… he surrounds him with a kind arm and tells him that everything will be fine and everything ends for today. That’s something my mother could have done.Because deep down Rung is that, he is kindness and he teaches us the strength found in compassion and as the functionalist universe demonstrates, Rung possesses incredible strength of character and determination and he is capable of giving his life to save those who he care … and that’s a large number of people.

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[flamingfandomtrashcentral]

TFP Optimus and Starscream?

Optimus Prime

First impression

I was grinning from ear to ear when I heard Peter Cullen’s voice come out of him! I’ve adored him since G1 and having Cullen come back was the greatest thing.

Impression now

I loved how the series was able to end without killing him off. He was so very alive by the end of it, enjoying life and rebuilding cybertron. Totally not dead, nope not at all. 

Favorite moment

Don’t make me choose, I always love seeing him on screen. His awkward dad moments with the kids are always adorable.

Idea for a story

You have no idea how much I would have loved for there to have been more one on one moments between him and the kids. It would’ve put so much more emotion into the scene where he gives him the god damn key to vector sigma. Instead all we got was one (1) offhand comment from Ratchet about Jack being like Optimus back when he was still Orion Pax.

Unpopular opinion

I love him unconditionally which I think is the popular opinion so I’m good

Favorite relationship

Optimus Prime x Ratchet or sometimes Ultra Magnus.

Favorite headcanon

Seriously loves children and wishes he could’ve had a sparkling of his own. He fully intended on legally adopting the children if anything were to happen to their parents because of the war. He’s discussed it with Fowler, he was prepared.

Starscream

First impression

Oh is that Starscream? Interesting take on his design, I wonder what he’s gonna do with Cliffjumper there? Maybe hold him hostage, use him as a bagaining ch- OH DEAR PRIMUS

Impression now

The first two seasons handled him so deliciously well, I adored it. So cunning, so backstabbing, so hANDSOME. I think they wrote him very well. For the first two seasons at least. Then he stops doing shit in the last season and it just felt like he was there purely because they forgot to kill him off and shoehorned him into the third season’s script.

Favorite moment

His dumbass admitting to killing Cliffjumper to Arcee. Guess his brain died for a second there. I also liked seeing him surviving on his own for a while.

Idea for a story

I think it would’ve been very interesting to see him have a redemption arc with the Autobots. Imagine the one sided (let’s pretend he didn’t tell her) tension he would have with Arcee because he killed Cliffjumper, and how he would have eventually had to tell her because she’s helped him so much and it’s not fair for her to not know. I want to write this, I just lack the commitment.

Unpopular opinion

I loathe him being shipped with Megatron with my entire being, I genuinely cannot comprehend why it’s a thing. 

Favorite relationship

I don’t really have one. Him and Knockout is alright, but I prefer KO/BD way more so

Favorite headcanon

His wings are super sensitive and he would love to have them stroked but would murder anyone who actually touches them, so he’s touch starved as fuck and angry about it.

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 21: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

O: He's a horrible person and his parents are horrible people!  I was rooting for them to get explode--

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast.  An episode by episode recap of the generation 1 Transformers cartoon.  I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs.

O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 21, Traitor.  Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Um-hm.  Prepare yourselves!  It's time for Cliffjumper to be a huge jackass.

O: I'm shocked!  Shocked I tell you, shocked.

S: It’s Cliffjumper.

O: He is a giant jackass--well, a little jackass, because he’s small.  Today we open on the experimental energy research laboratory.

S:  It has a giant atom plastered on the front, it's also a very symmetrical building--so this is very symmetrical.

O: [laughs] Cutting inside, it kind of looks like the Wizard’s chamber from The Wizard of Oz?

S: It's--it’s very emerald, man.  It's very green.

O: Why would you paint the inside of a lab this bright green color?

S: Well why do they paint so many things orange and purple?  The world may never know.

O: [laughs] Okay, okay, fine but if we--I-I am willing to maybe not forgive but accept that the robots need to color code shit--

S: I’m--

O: --why do humans need to color code this green!?!

S: I'm not talking about the robots!

O: Oh you're right, you're right!  The humans do it then the Decepticons steal it, right!

S: Yes.

O: [laughs]

S: And, but like, there are plants that humans have that are just fucking bright orange and...yeah.

O: Yep!

S: Nothing makes sense color-wise, either that--yeah, no nothing makes sense, I don’t know.

O: [laughs] We see two scientists inside that are talking about solving the whole world's energy problems with brand-new electro-cells.

S: When suddenly!  The roof caves in, courtesy of Skywarp.

O: He says he, “Just loves opening presents!”

S: [exasperated sigh]

O: [laughs]  And the gift talk continues further as Starscream reaches inside the lab and pulls out the machine or the electro-cells or whatever. Saying it would be, “The perfect gift for Megatron!”

S: Someone wants to get on Megatron's good side.

O: What’d ya do Screamer, what’d ya do? [chuckles]

S: Megatron shows up out of nowhere because he wants to take the device for himself um, or something--because Starscream is Mr. Butterfingers apparently.

O: No-no Megatron's just got ‘the touch’.

S: [sighs]

O: [laughs]

S: Yes, we're going to make mov--music references to the movie, yes we are.

O: [singing] You’ve got the touch!

S: [singing] I got the touch…  [speaking] I don't remember the words.

O: [laughs]

S: I don't--I haven't listened to that in a while or else I actually would try to sing it but we don't need that.  As he lifts it out the two scientists from earlier jump on to it in an effort to talk some sense into these giant alien robots.

O: Which they fail and ultimately lose their grip and fall 30, 40 feet and they're both perfectly fine.

S: [sighs] They should have broken legs, definitely some concussions and may possibly have broken their backs, because one of them kind of looked like he landed on some of the debris.

O: Yeah, he should probably be more hurt than he is.

S: Yeah.

O: One scientist mugs for the camera and lets us know that if those energy cells explode, it could start a chain reaction that could devastate the Earth!

 S: A chain reaction with what?

O: Oxygen, Starscream's ego, water, Megatron's nuclear ass?

S: [laughs] Despite all of the BS about Megatron uh, having ‘the touch’, he promptly hands the energy cell off to Skywarp of all people, telling him to be careful.

O: My only joke here is but I literally did not realize until last night that Frank Welker voiced 90% of the Decepticons and so all I can think of is that's why Megatron trusts Skywarp so much.  THEY’RE THE SAME PERSON!  [dissolves into laughter]

S: There’s also the purple thing that he has--

O: There’s also the purple thing. [laughs]

S: He has to be--we have already talked about like, Skyward being his favorite Decepticon.

O: Obviously!  He’s the right color.

S: [sighs] He--Megatron then transforms into gun mode and um, and tells Starscream to destroy the lab.

O: Well, Starscream can't be in the dog house too badly then, can he?

S: He doesn't even need someone to pull his trigger, why does he willingly give up control every couple of ep-episodes?

O: Ehhh, he’s topping from the bottom?

S: [exasperated sigh]

O: [laughs] Ha, haha, ha!

S: Yeah, I'm just going to look at the ground on for like five minutes, thanks, bye.

O: [still laughing] So just imagine that if you will.  Our idiot scientists do have some sense of self-preservation as we do watch them flee the building before it explodes.  And the Cons head back to base and then we cut over to the Ark and Cliffjumper.

S: Okay so the um, things are inconsistent here, sometimes there's a bunch of trees around the Ark, sometimes it looks really arid.  They can't decide or they can't seem to decide where they are.  Sometimes it looks like the Pacific Northwest and then sometimes it looks like Arizona!  It's the magical teleporting volcano!

O: [laughs] I feel like I could also make the joke of like welcome to Eregron--Arizon!  Or...Orezona!

S: Organzona.

O: Ore--Orezona!

S: Well, I mean, I don't know, they apparently made an attempt because the Pacific Northwest is in fact a very variable, uh--has variable climates.

O: To a degree, but I'm still pretty sure if uh, Mount Saint Hilary's where we think it should be there should be trees!

S: Yeah, cuz, I mean, where I grew up is slightly closer to--slightly closer to some of what they show sometimes but it's not actually arid, it's only semi-arid.  I don't know, I-I don't know, it's just inconsistent.  Let's get back to this.

O: And it's time for Cliffjumper to be a total dick to Mirage.

S: He accuses him of working for the Cons because he found the electro-cells in the same area Mirage had like, patrolled yesterday.  This doesn't mean anything Cliffjumper [sighs] and I mean are they dating?  Is this a fight, are they having a spat? Is this why Cliffjumper is on his--on his case?  Is this just the convenient excuse?

O: Who knows.  Prime breaks up Cliffjumper’s (idiotic) rant by saying, “We don't want bad feelings, just the electro-cells.”

S: Oh, Optimus.

O: He's trying.

S: A group of Autobots leave base before we cut to the Decepticons.

O: And we're back to Starscream being mad at Megatron saying, “If he was in charge!”  This would all be handled or whatever.

S: And by he I think we're talking Starscream?

O: Yes, yes if Star--it was Starscream saying if he was in charge.

S: Yeah. [sighs] Starscream's devil-may-care attitude towards science is clearly why Megatron doesn't let him science, as he proceeds to turn the device they're building on before it's ready.

O: He's basically mocking Megatron for being a coward during this but, Starscream if this explodes you are standing RIGHT there you will also explode!

S: Starscream just doesn't give a shit, apparently.

O: I-I--

S: I don’t know.

O: I’m just like you're trying to kill Megatron, there are more elegant solutions that don't involve blowing yourself up.

S: Eh, this--this cartoon’s just… [sighs]

O: [laughs] I'm just gonna go with Starscream’s an idiot, yeah.

S: Yeah.  Surprising no one, or perhaps just Starscream, there is in fact an explosion.

O: [laughs] And Megatron looks like he's going to literally murder Starscream but then suddenly we go back to the Autobots, much to my disappointment.

S: [laughs] Cliffjumper is still bitching about Mirage, it's...what he wants to do today, apparently.

O: I was so disappointed.  I-I just really wanted Prime to be like, “Shut up Cliffjumper or I'm going to YEET you off this cliff.”  I know it wasn't gonna happen, but boy do I still want it.

S: Unfortunately, Optimus has to be kind to all of his children.

O: [laughs] See this is why I kind of agree with the Decepticons about half the time.  At least Megatron can toss them off a cliff if they’re being morons.

S: [sighs] Child endangerment, when your child is in fact your army.

O: Pretty much! [laughs]

S: Well, let's get back to things.  It looks like Laserbeak was put on perimeter duty, a good assignment there.

O: Laserbeak returns to Soundwave and my boy raises the alarm because he is a good boi.

S: This apparently interrupts our murder session between Megatron and Starscream, because Megatron orders a counter-attack.

O: With a ‘special’ reward.  There is no way that--that is not dirty as hell!

S: [sighs] Cliffjumper continues to be a dick but uh--makes his way over to an electro-cell where he says, “Come to Papa!”

O: Starscream lands behind him and says, “Not so fast Papa!” and I can't.  I just can't.  Did he just forget to turn off his sweet-talk after begging for his life from Megatron two minutes ago?

S: Mirage enters a scuffle with Skywarp before getting shot off by the Insecticons.  And he apparently ripped off one of Skywarp’s Decepticon badges during the scuffle.

O: We had a close-up of this too like, in his hand so they really, really wanted you to know this.

S: And like, it acts like cloth because he had it crumpled in his hands and it’s--

O: That’s--

B: --weird.

S: Optimus tells Megatron that the electro-cells don't belong to him.

O: To which Megatron responds, “I possess them, therefore I own them!”

S: Does that mean he owns the rest of the Decepticons?

O: I mean would that be inaccurate, really? [chuckles]

S: Not really.  And then Optimus is taken down by one of the Insecticons.

O: Meanwhile, Cliffjumper gets into a firefight with Shrapnel, managing to trick him into shooting the electro-cells.

S: Megatron is super pissed.  [He] pushes one of the two Starscreams that appear in this shot out of the way and then starts shooting nitrogen out of his Fusion Cannon in an effort to stop the cells from exploding.

O: And we checked, it was the real Starscream he knocked over, the other one magically turns into Skywarp a few shots later.  So good on him, he can apparently tell the difference!

S: The Autobots retreat, not wanting to risk another potential explosion and at the Ark, Ratchet is fixing Mirage, as Cliffjumper continues to fucking badmouth him to his face.

O: Optimus tells Cliffjumper he either needs proof or he needs to back off.

S: Ratchet tells Mirage to rest but Mirage is apparently pissed and sneaks off to spy on the Insecticons because he has...a plan!

O: A plan!  He steals some of their energon.  Leaving Skywarp’s badge behind his proof of the Decepticons stealing shit and then Mirage leaves the cubes over near the Decepticon’s camp.  Being seen by Cliffjumper in the process who wrongly assumes that Mirage is working with the Decepticons.

S: This is what happens when you don't tell anyone your plans Mirage!  It means that there's no one else that can like, go and correct Cliffjumper’s erroneous mis-misunderstandings.

O: Yeah, or-or kind of what we said when we were watching this.  He should have at least told Jazz, who were pretty sure is his boss.

S: Yeah…

O: [laughs]

S: Starscream sneaks up behind Cliffjumper but Cliffjumper is able to get away by transforming into car mode and ramming into the Starscream’s crotch, knocking him ridiculously high into the air.

O: Oh yes, Starscream--seeker, scientist, Decepticon bowling pin.

S: All of the above!

O: [laughs] Obviously!

S: Megatron shows up, asking what the fuck Starscream was firing at giving him shit about missing his target.

O: As he should.  Starscream then turns around and fires on the now visible for no fucking reason Mirage.

S: No one is sensible in these cartoons.

O: No!  Why like, Mirage can turn invisible there's no reason he turned visible there.

S: The Insecticons then show up and assume the Cons are firing on them before firing back.

O: So basically, Mirage’s plan is actually working.

S: He just didn't get out in time.

O: Nope.

S: Mirage disappears again uh, Megatron continues to give shit to Starscream about missing but Starscream is like, “We both missed!”

O: [chuckles] The Insecticons and Skywarp were getting into it but accidentally hit Mirage in the crossfire.

S: Bombshell proceeds to implant a cerebro shell into Mirage to mind-control him, um…

O: Womp, womp!  [laughs]  Heh, about that--about him being a traitor...

S: Cliffjumper returns to the Autobot base, blaming Mirage for working with the Decepticons.

O: Optimus warns Cliffjumper AGAIN about being a giant fucking asshole.

S: Then Optimus, Ratchet, and Cliffjumper take off for round two with the Decepticons in this episode.

O: The Decepticons seem to have their hands full as the Insecticons (now plus Mirage) are currently attacking them.

S: Megatron confronts Bombshell, coming to the conclusion that Mirage had tricked them.

O: And Bombshell calls Mirage a walking garbage can and goes to fire on him, before being stopped my Megs.  He's got nefarious schemes in mind for Mirage, mwahahaha!

S: Optimus and company arrive, Mirage revealing himself in telling Optimus that he has a plan for getting the electro-cells.

O: Cliffjumper continues to whine.

S: Why did Optimus only bring ah, the medic and mister trigger-happy?

O: I mean, say what you will, but honestly, this is probably the best use of Cliffjumper I can think of--which is basically just tossing him at Cons.

S: That is true.  But, does that mean--you could have brought Jazz or Prowl too?  I don't know.

O: Right?  And like, it’s not like Ratchet’s useless in battle but-but, yeah.  There's only three of you, it does seem kind of weird to bri--choose to bring Cliffjumper and Ratchet.

S: Yeah, Mirage leads them into a trap, but Ratchet figures out almost immediately that he has a cerebro shell on him cuz Mirage got hit by laser fire or something and got knocked out?

O: Yeah, and then Bombshell was gonna kill him because it's like, “Oh you won't get up, you've outlived your useless--usefulness!”  And all I can say is, well here's the reason Optimus had to bring the medic.

S: Yeah.  Causing Cliffjumper to finally fucking realize or relent on Mirage being a traitor.  Cuz he isn't a traitor.

O: Unless you know--you know you stick a cerebro shell in his head.

S: And mind control and that does not mean someone's a traitor.  It just means that they're being forced to do something.

O: Obviously.  Optimus goes behind enemy lines surprising Megatron by jumping down from the ceiling...inside a building.

S: I mean, I guess the ceilings are really tall, though Optimus what were you standing on?

O: I mean, there's so many questions--that's only two!

S: Yeah.  The Autobots surround Megatron but rather than risk the Autobots getting the electro-cells he elects to destroy them himself.

O: And the Autobots escape from the ensuing explosions.

S: And the last we see of Megatron in this episode he's literally on the ground throwing...a massive baby tantrum.

O: Like he's not quite kicking and screaming but he is screaming. [laughs]

S: Yes.  Later, Optimus apologizes to the scientists but they're mostly just relieved that the Earth didn't blow up.

O: Well that's good. So not reactive to Megatron's ass then?

S: I guess, or his sass.

O: [laughs] Or his whine?

S: Yeah.

O: [laughs]

S: And in the medbay, Cliffjumper finally, finally, FINALLY, apologizes to Mirage.

O: His apology consists of him flopping down on top of Mirage, who then kind of gets up cradling Cliffjumper.  Which then kinda turns into hugging and then they kind of roll off the bed together.

S: And like, they're rolling...they're rolling on the ground like, hugging and it's like, okay they're definitely dating.  They just have really weird spats.

O: Obviously, and then the episode cuts as Ratchet laughs and Cliffjumper’s voice, or in complete silence and Cliffjumper is laughing in the distance, pick one.

S: Yeah…

O: And that's our episode.  Join us next time for lady robots?  Well okay, one lady robot--it's more likely than you think.

S: Later there will be more lady robots.

O: [sighs] And so many of them will be pink. [sighs louder]

S: Yeah, with no visible alt--visible signs of what they're alt modes are.

O: No, no that's still not the thing that pisses me off the most.  The thing it pisses me off the most is that I swear to god, Transformers is just this giant example of the writers being like, “Alright we're writing a show for little boys!  We can't have women in here!”  And then you know, a season, or two, or three in, they're like, “Oh shit.  No homo, right guys?”  I'm just like, yes homo, there is homo everywhere!  You left all the women on the planet too, so I'm pretty sure there's some homo going on over there too!  For millions of years they seemed to be PERFECTLY FINE WITHOUT THE DUDES!  [dissolves into laughter]  Either that or Ultra Magnus has a harem!

S: Actually, I'd say it's maybe more likely that Elita One has a harem.

O: I mean, exactly!  [laughs]  Why have Optimus when she can have all the badass ladies that have been holding off Shockwave SINGLE HANDEDLY!?!

S: The badass lades, and then Ultra Magnus, Springer, Hot--and Hot Rod, I guess, and Arcee.

O: Oh god! [laughs]

S: I don’t know.

O: Ah, no, no, this is why Hot Rod is so thirsty when he gets to Earth!

S: [laughing]

O: He wasn’t getting any on Cybertron!

S: Either that or he is just a kid who's basically--his teenage years was like, “Oh.  I'm interested in people now.

O: Or everybody else is just like--we will not hit that.  We will not hit the baby.

S: Either that or like, Ultra Magnus and Hot Rod, and Arcee and Springer were off…

O: Gallivanting around the universe?

S: I don't know, doing about the same thing that Devcon was doing except with more--I don't know...

O: [laughs]

S: More discipline, cuz Ultra Magnus.

O: [laughs] Yeah...yeah, anyway!  I believe we have fanfic for today?

S: Okay, so we have two fanfiction recommendations for today.  They are both pretty short.  Um, the first is, “Secret Agent Man,” but written by inkand_paper (Fabuest).  It's in the G1 cartoon continuity.  It's rated K, it’s gen, though there is a real bit of flirting.  Uh, pairings--none.  Characters: Bumblebee and Mirage.  Summary, “Secret agents have all the fun.”

O: [laughs]

S: And this one's very, very short it's like 200 words, less than 400 and ah, this character rec or theme is based on Mirage and fun stuff.  Cuz he did not have a good time this episode.

O: He did not have a good time this episode.

S: Yeah, and it's a one shot, and the second one is, “Tundra Turmoil,” by ravingLimey.

O: That is a wonderful username.

S: Yeah, uh, it's a G1 cartoon [continuity] with a kind of a lot of IDW influences because it's got conjunx endura--

O: Mmm.

S: --in it, and a number of other things.  It's rated K, there's slash, ah, the main pairing isn't actually a pairing it's more of a triad.  Uh, because it's Cliffjumper, Hound, and Mirage and there are other ambiguous or implied other pairings.  Ah, and characters:  Cliffjumper, Hound, Mirage, and various other Autobots and humans.  And in summary, “Hound finds out that lemmings don’t voluntarily commit mass suicide.”

O: [laughs] Really strange summary but okay!

S: Umm, well so character and theme rec is base--based on is Cliffjumper and terrible puns and it's a--it's also a one-shot.  And so do you know how lemmings were considered to-to commit mass suicide?

O: Yes, yes I do.

S: By jumping off of cliffs, by being cliffjumpers!

O: Oh gawd, that is a TERRIBLE PUN.

S: Yes.

O: [laughing] I SEE!  I UNDERSTAND!  I don’t want to, but I do!

S: Lots of people get head-butted, because Cliffjumper is pissed.

O: [snorts]

S: It's cute, read it if you want to, you don't have to.

O: [laughs]  Okay.

S: And that's it for fanfiction recommendations, let's go to art recommendations.

O: Alright, so our recommendation for fan artists for today is Lem.  They are a mixed-media artist who does a variety of art, they also do a ton of clothing.  Today we've linked to their work for the TF Crystalline zine which is Jetfire--it's super gorgeous, he's incased in ice.  A blingy freedom-loving Optimus, that is magnificent and their Beast Wars fabric pattern.

S: Yeah.

O: We will be linking to their Tumblr on YouTube and AO3 but you can pop over to our Tumblr and there will be more links available.

S: Yep, yep and that just about wraps it up for us today.  Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes or links we may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter @AftersparkPod (all one word) and at various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast.  Such as: AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and Youtube, just to name a few.  Till next time, I'm Specs.

O: And I'm Owls!

S: Toodles!

[Outro Music] 

[100-yardstare]

Fandom: Transformers Prime

Summary: MECH has captured Sarah. It’s up to Kailey to help BB infiltrate their base to not only get back his T-Cog, but to rescue her.

Rating: T

Word Count: 1,616

               Sarah.

Kailey hadn’t known her for that long. The girl had just shown up one day; another innocent victim that had somehow gotten in between the Decepticons, and their plans. Optimus and the others had brought her to base, luckily, honorably taking her into their care much like they had done with the kids, Steven, and Kailey sometime afterward. One would think she had found safety with the Autobots, but somehow, from under their watchful eyes, MECH had taken her, along with Bumblebee’s T-Cog as well. It had to be a kidnapping by association. She was the sitting duck; the victim with all the information MECH would need concerning the Autobots.

Bulkhead, Arcee, and Optimus had since left for a mission, of course this time, without Bumblebee. He was heartbroken, to say the least, but that didn’t stop him from taking things into his own hands. Fowler had finally found coordinates to MECH’s whereabouts, and by the time that information got to the base, it seemed there was no turning back— not for BB. Even Steven had tried talking him out of it, but the Autobot had it in his head that he was a useless liability without his ability to transform, and therefore he needed to do this.

One way or another, he was going to get his T-Cog back.

It was Kailey, however, that volunteered to go with him. After all, if they found his T-Cog, Sarah was likely to be close by. This mission would literally be hitting two birds with one stone. The only downside was Optimus and the others wouldn’t be helping them out. Nonetheless, that didn’t dim BB and Kailey’s spirited efforts.

The MECH base wasn’t difficult to find with the coordinates given to them by Fowler. They were there just after sunset, the dark base cloaked only by the forested area surrounding. Kailey balanced on BB’s shoulder, her weapon in hand, and ready to sprint into the base while he fought off the grunts. They could be heard talking within the building, just behind the front entrance and behind a set of large doors.

“You ready Bee?” Kailey asked. But honestly, she didn’t really need to. In BB’s optics reflected nothing but pure determination.

They didn’t waste any time; quickly, BB ran forward as fast as he could, breaking into the facility. Obviously, he was met with almost instantaneous retaliation from the grunts, although the only thing that seemed to catch both of them by surprise was the presence of Starscream, and sitting just to the side of his feet, and before Silas, MECH’s leader, was Sarah, tied and bruised from obviously having been interrogated.

Of course Silas would sink that low as to hurt a civilian, especially one that couldn’t fight back, Kailey thought. She didn’t begin shooting just yet, however. Since BB quickly had to engage in battle, Kailey had jumped from BB’s shoulders, onto the floor, maneuvering above the grunts, and onto a high platform to take aim. The grunts were too busy shooting at BB that they hadn’t spotted Kailey quite yet.

Kailey prepared the scope of her weapon, and began firing, one shot after another, taking down the grunts beyond the ones that BB began throwing about. Her ultimate goal, however, was to get Sarah out of here.

Taking out the grunts happened rather quickly, with only a few left scampering about, half of whom had taken notice of Kailey from up above and began targeting her instead, along with Silas himself.

“What are you doing, you fools, attack her!” Silas commanded to some of the grunts that were closets to Kailey’s position. Quickly they began attacking, some attempting to get upwards to reach her, two of which began to corner her on the platform.

Kailey attempted to snipe the few below, but ultimately had to return her efforts on the grunts gaining up on her. Her attention fell from the scope, triggering the enhanced weapon to shift ever so slightly, now instead of resembling a sniper, taking on the façade of a semi-automatic. She would aim the weapon at the oncoming MECH grunts, and opened spitfire upon them.

One instantly took the hits and fell from the platform and to the concrete below, the other meeting Kailey’s fire with his own.

“Shit!” Kailey hollered. She only had an instant to look into her surroundings for cover, falling behind a pillar at the top of the platform that held it up. It was from her new position that she saw that BB had started to confront Starscream, Sarah in the meanwhile, screaming like bloody murder. Silas, on the other hand, was making a run for it.

“SHIT!!” Kailey yelled louder, with far more anger this time. He was getting away. She had wanted to face him head on. It seemed she was never able to do that; even the last time she had confronted his forces while riding with Optimus, he was always in the background, barking orders but never having actually faced her.

The enemy grunt spitfire had momentarily stopped when Kailey took the opportunity to come from behind the pillar and open fire once again. The MECH agent had apparently run out of ammo. Lucky for Kailey, that would be his last round. Before he could click in his reload, Kailey had taken him out, only this time as he fell, she landed a kick to his punctured torso, and sent him falling off the pillar and to the ground below, meeting his comrade in a spalt.

By then, however, Silas was out of there. It doesn’t matter though, Kailey tried to rationalize. Sarah came first in this mission.

BB was still in the process of fighting Starscream for his T-Cog when Kailey worked her way off her high location and made it up beside Sarah, untying her as quickly as she could. Sarah, in the meantime, screamed for a while longer, before she came to her senses.

“Kale! Thank God you guys came, get me away from… from that monster!” Sarah screeched towards the end of her exclamation, referring to Starscream, who suddenly had BB’s T-Cog in his grasp, threatening it with a deadly blast.

“You mean that guy?” Kailey scoffed jokingly, even in the midst of danger managing to conjure up a bit of brooding sarcasm. “He tries.”

Kailey finally got Sarah free, helping her to her feet by allowing her left arm to go around her back, and keeping her weight up as much as she could alone. Kailey was met, however, with another glass shattering scream from Sarah’s obviously powerful lungs when BB and Star began to move about fighting over the organ once again. It had gone in the air and BB was attempting to catch it, but just before it hit his fingers Star had shot it, sending it skidding to the hard floors, smoke puffing off of it and changing its color to that of burnt soot.

To say the least, what had happened shocked Kailey. BB had been angered by the fact it had been taken in the first place, but Star shooting at it only made it worse.

“Oops…” Star chuckled, “So much for that. I’m just going to jet now, since I can do that.”

With his last remark he transformed, flying out of the facility through a hole in the ceiling, and leaving BB, Kailey, and Sarah, alone, and rather defeated.

“Bee…” Kailey spoke up, her tone much softer and kinder than it typically was. “I’m so sorry.”

The Autobot didn’t respond. The only sound that seemed to come into being was that of engines, soon a cluster of lights forming outside.

The other Autobots had found them.

“What’s that!?” Sarah gasped. “It’s not that monster again, is it?!” Her fear was so exaggerated that it almost seemed fake, but Kailey wasn’t one to judge fear.

“It’s reinforcements…” Kailey responded, although her tone not too happy. She couldn’t help but look over at poor BB and the part of him that made him who he was—an Autobot. If anything, she felt pretty pathetic right now. After all that, they still failed, partially.

They took a moment to gather themselves, then met the others out the door. There was a mix of relief from them, and anger.

“Why did you come here, Bumblebee?” Arcee asked, a sort of mother-like tone leaking from her vocals.

“And with Kailey. You should know better than this,” Optimus added.

BB was having a hard time communicating right now. He could only look down at the T-Cog organ in his hands, broken.

“We had to do something,” Kailey spoke up for BB. “We had a chance and we took it.”

“Kailey, you know better than to put yourself in danger, without me being there as well,” Optimus continued to oppose anything that could be said to counter the situation.

“I don’t have time to argue,” Kailey responded softly yet irritably, as she narrowed her eyes over at BB. “We need to act now… just in case there’s even a remote chance we can help him.”

“Very well… I will discuss this with you later, then,” Optimus concluded. He turned his voice then to his commlink, contacting base for their return. “We’re ready to head back now, Ratchet…” he stated.

The portal began to open then, its green light piercing into the night like a star. It was only then that Kailey turned towards Sarah, seeing her face had settled into a neutral expression.

“You’ll get used to it,” Kailey stated, attempting to make the newcomer feel a bit more at ease, although her ‘attempts’ more rather coming off as a bit forced. “You have no choice.”

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 8: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

S: I don't think anyone wants us to debate river heights.

[Intro music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast an episode by episode recap of the generation 1 Transformers cartoon.  I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs!

O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 8, SOS Dinobots. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yeah!

O: So today--today we get Grimlock! Look at my perfect dino child!

S: [laughs] Oh you really like him.-- [unintelligible]

O: [talking over Specs] I love Grimlock!  And I haven’t gotten to talk about Grimlock and now I get to talk about Grimlock!

S: And at the Ark the Autobots are talking about a series of ‘mysterious earthquakes’.

O: Which, they’re in a volcano, I don't really know what they expect--there not to be seismic activity, but OK?

S: Considering that it woke them up, or at least it woke the Decepticons up prior to Starscream's…

O: Stupidity.

S: Yeah.

O: [laughs] Poor decision-making.

S: Ironhide apparently has Sonadar sensors--he decides to use them.  I don't know what the hell a Sonadar sensor is?

O: Excuse me, his what now? [laughs]

S: [laughs] S--Sonadar!? Sonar?  I don’t know!

O: I swear I looked it up and it was Sonadar!  It was not Sonar, it was Sonadar, and I was like what the fuck, man!?

S: What the hell!?  But--yeah, ok.  Apparently Ironhide's windshield also doubles as a monitor.

O: He is starting to feel like the Swiss Army knife of the Autobot army?

S: He--I mean, geez, he kind of is..

O: I just--he keeps pulling shit out and I’m like--where are you getting this shit from, man?

S: I feel like all of them do that to some extent but definitely Ironhide.

O: Yeah, I feel like he's done it the most in the last like four episodes though.

S: Yeah...he's got a lot of space in his trunk.

O: Goddammit.

S: [laughs]

O: Goddammit.

S: I did not say he’s got a lot of junk in his trunk this time!  (Except he does.)  God, I said it.

O: I blame you!

S: Anyway, he scans the rock wall and his sensors recognize something's behind the wall and so they set Sideswipe and Brawn to break through because Sideswipe’s got like, piledrivers and Brawn’s basically just a wrecking ball.

O: [laughs] A wrecking ball on legs.  So, inside they find some weirdly well-preserved dino bones. In a volcano.  An active volcano.

S: Archeologists would be ready to fucking murder these robots.  Particularly Wheeljack considering he actually picks up some of the bones, well, considering how he handles them.

O: Dude, he's Wheeljack, he does what he wants!

S: He does. He really does. And Spike explains fossils to the robots, oh my god.

O: But then, uh, we--we’re back at another hydropower plant slash dam.

S: And Soundwave exhibits….a purple listening tentacle.

O: I gotta cut it he's like in, he-he's in like his boombox mode--

S: Yeah..

O: --exhibiting a purple listening tentacle.

S: It's just...ffrrmm, it’s up there lik--god it’s sort of like, a snake charmer’s snake.

O: A little bit--but I hav--like, is this where Transformers Prime got all his tentacles from!?

S: Maybe? I mean there's a weird  number of tentacles in this stupid cartoon.

O: Ah, yeah.

S: I love it but it's really dumb. It's really really weird. And Soundwave and Reflector are listening to the tourists [to] gather information.  As--as was mentioned earlier Soundwave’s in boom box form. Reflector, for whatever reason, is just hanging out as a Polaroid camera.

O: [laughs] And this seems bad, as in, like, wouldn't this be completely useless? Have you met tourists? Do you really think you would get relevant information from them?

S: Well, I mean the thing is, they're not even like up for the tourists are; they're down on a ledge underneath like--

O: Like yeah, underneath where they’re standing and I-I'm gonna go with they can only hear them because the--of the listening tentacle.

S: Considering that yeah, there's what a waterfall or something?

O: Eh-well yeah, because it's a dam so I think it's where some of the water is coming through.

S: It’s just, like, god--yeah.  And then they NYOOOM off, and absolutely no one notices.

O: I’m just going to go with humans do not notice shit in this world.

S: My god, maybe it's like that thing where if you're focusing on something you would completely ignore a dude in a gorilla costume if it walks right by you.

O: I mean...maybe they were so fascinated by the dam that they didn't notice--I want to say they flew off in their alt modes but I can't actually remember?  So they didn’t notice a Polaroid camera and a boom box flying by.  [laughs]

S: Yeah, I don't remember either but yeah, it's...however it happens it's still goofy as hell.

O: So, uh, back with Spike, uh, he takes the bots to a museum to see more dino bones...or at least Hound?  He took Hound.

S: Yeah, he at least takes--he definitely takes Hound.  Maybe some of the others are scoping out some of the other stuff but, there's definitely Hound in there. How the hell does he fit?  How does he fit in the building?

O: Museums are huge in this world apparently?

S: Or at least they've got super big doors--

O: Apparently, or big enough a Jeep can drive through.

S: Or maybe they went through, like, the cargo entrance or something?

O: That still begs the question how the hallways would be big enough for a freakin’ robot.

S: Yeah!  Yeah, and I mean what sort of museum this is--cuz I'm pretty sure the one back at my hometown did not have dinosaur bones.

O: No clue.

S: Maybe--maybe or--maybe they’re in the Portland museum?  I have no idea  [sigh]  Oh look--some inaccurate bones like, god that fore leg looks like a back leg uhhh….

O: Okay!  Welcome to my TED Talk, today I’m going complain about how no one bloody understands how the front legs work on a quadruped!  It drives me nuts!

S: [sigh] Yeah...and meanwhile Hound takes holograms of the dinosaur fossils to show to the rest of the Autobots, which they do when they get back to the Ark.

O: So, while Hound is displaying these holograms for the other Autobots, Spike explains that dinosaurs were very powerful but very, very dumb.

S: So dumb.

O: So...Wheeljack has the brilliant idea of creating some dinosaurs for the Autobots.

S: While Ratchet looks on like, “Oh god, honey no,” but he totally resigns himself to joining in on this little project too.

O: [Questionable Wheeljack impression] “Ratchet!  Let's make babies!!!”

S: [laughs] He's actually pretty gung-ho about it--it's less resigned and more like yeah, this seems like a great idea!

O: [laughs]

S: They're totally--he's just as into it as Wheeljack is.  And Prime says, “Sure, why the fuck not?”

O: [singing] Are you ready for a montage!?

S: And we see a montage of the Autobots building the Dinobots.  As the joke goes, “the fun part is making the baby!”

O: Oh my, they get everyone involved here.

S: They really do.

O: And so back at the Decepticon base uh, Soundwave, Laserbeak, and Reflector have reported in.  Megatron wants this damn damn so they can destroy the Autobots once and for all.

S: [laughs] Oh my god, maybe just stick some stupid propellers outside your ship and let the currents do this or set up a...solar power.  You can probably float something nice on the water and you wouldn't have to deal with any of this and the Autobots would have no idea where the hell you are Decepticons.  Please!

O:  This has been Specs’ TED talk. [laughs]

S: It’s just you’d think they'd have...they’d come up with a better way of dealing with this, unless they absolutely just, they--they do this--

O; They don’t have the parts or something?  But, again I think they would.

S:I feel like, I feel like--I mean, god they made like a freaking giant underground city just out of their ship and whatever else was around there.  I feel like they could probably manage this, except maybe the buoyancy bits?

O: Even so though, I agree with you on the currents thing or something that can generate electric--at least generate electricity or something.

S: I feel like they--

O: And since they make Energon from like these dams and electricity anyway, that's seems like it should be able to suit their needs.

S: It would make sense but apparently they're just like no, we've got to make everything difficult and also we like fighting.

O: Apparently. Uh, so basically Starscream's being a bitch about this plan and Megatron is just like, “Decepticons prepare for conquest!” and then they all ollie out--out of there.

S: Yeah...and at the Ark, all the Autobots are lined up to meet the new dino children.  Like, they are literally--

O: Lying down!

S: --lying against the wall and they’re--for whatever reason, they're not in the same room Teletraan’s in, but they aren't doing this outside.  They're doing this in the stupid Ark.

O: Yeah. So, uh, Ratchet and Wheeljack are super proud parents, dammit!

S: So proud.

O: They are.

S: So proud.

O: So proud, that, uh, I believe Ratchet starts talking with Wheeljack’s voice?

S: [laughs] Probably!  Maybe?  And the Dinobots are huge like, they’re--they're tall--

O: They’re really big.  Compared to the other Autobots.

S: They're big fellas. So it's Grimlock, Slag, and Sludge, the original Dinobots.  Cuz...Swoop and Snarl get added...later.

O: Later, yeah.  So uh, please note that more recently Slag’s name has been changed to Slug on account of the word ‘slag’ being a slur in Britain.  We are going to continue to use his original name for now as that is what he's referred to, uh--

S: In the G1 cartoon.

O: Yeah and we're located in the US, where this word does not have the same meaning. However, please let us know if we need to make a bleeped version available or something?  Because we certainly don't want to cause…

S: Offense.

O: Offense to anybody it's just we are not in that culture and it's gonna be confusing if we're trying to swap back and forth when the cartoon is calling him something completely different.

S: Yeah.

O: So Huffer says something sarcastic.

S: So it's like, “Shut up Huffer!”

O: You know, normal.  Um so, I think Huffer says something to the effect of, “What else can they do?”  It’s like, well buddy, it can destroy the fuck out of shit.

S: They really can as is demonstrated very shortly.

O: [laughs]

S: And Wheeljack says the Dinobots have simple brains just like real dinosaurs...oh this is not…

O: This seems like a bad idea.

S: This is not a plan for success.

O: So naturally, uh, the Dinobots start attacking.

S: You really think they would have done a test run somewhere else besides the main room with Teletraan.  [Well, near the room with Teletraan]  Like, maybe they could have gone outdoors…?

O:  Or something!  But no, we’re--we’re gonna do it in here, this is definitely the better option.  [laughs]

S: [sighs] Oh god.  Bumblebee tries to stop Grimlock from getting into the control room to which Spike says, “You'll need some help!” and hops inside.

O: What exactly is the help you're planning on rendering here, little buddy?

S: Unfortunately, it really looks like being a smear on the pavement.

O: Uh, so Grimlock blows up Teletraan 1.

S: How did Teletraan 1 even attract Grimlock’s attention?  It's not shiny, it's not moving, it's not making noise.

O: [laughs]

S: Apparently it's just got Grimlock...attractant, or something?

O: It’s [got] a giant target painted on it.

S: Pretty much.

O: So the Dinobots are nigh indestructible apparently as the Autobots are having some pretty severe difficulty doing much to them.

S: Well, they basically did make them to be indestructible.

O: I mean, yes, so they're doing their job.

S: They did their damndest and then Prime shouts at the--at them, “The Dinobots must be destroyed!”

O: Woah, what the fuck, dude!?!

S: They're your babies!  They--you've no one to blame but yourselves.  You made them dumb, on purpose!  Unless the issue is that you just didn't have the parts to make their brains more sophisticated--

O: Regardless, I feel like this is not their fault and uh, clearly Wheeljack agrees with me.

S: Uh-huh.

O: Because Wheeljack basically knocks out his babies and begs Optimus to not kill them. But uh, Optimus is a dick and the Dinobots are buried back in the cave from whence the dino bones came from.

S: [laughs] Oh god, Optimus we don’t stick babies in the closet!

O: And Wheeljack is sad.

S: Very sad, and meanwhile the Decepticons are attacking the hydro power plant.  We see Soundwave, Megatron, Thundercracker in robot mode.

O: [laughs] Instead of in jet mode!

S: And a very svelte Brawn flying in or just someone who's colored like Brawn?  We never see them again.

O: [laughs]

S: And then we see Skywarp and Starscream, question mark, question mark, question mark???

O: Teletraan 1 appears to be the robot 911 center as the humans in the hydropower plant attempt to contact the Autobots to say, “Hey!  We're being attacked by fucking Decepticons!”

S: It does not work.  It does not go through, on account of Teletraan 1 still being fucking broken.  As Ratchet is attempting repairs.

O: Meanwhile, Ravage continues to show his complete hatred of windows.

S: Security windows even!

O: He goes right through.

S: Yup.

O: Um, as Soundwave sends him in to stop the humans from contacting the Autobots and everyone gets eye beams today!

S: You get eye beams, you get eye beams, everyone gets eye beams!

O: Let's see, we've got two Dinobots and Ravage with eye beams in this episode, why?

S: It's the hot new thing and all the kids have [them].

O: [laughs]

S: And Megatron claims the right of conquest over the hydropower plant.

O: I don’t know why I find that funny, but I do. [laughs]

S: It’s just, it seems like it's really--

O: [Questionable Megatron impression] “I claim the right of conquest over this human installation!”

S: It seems...like, it feels like he's claiming right of conquest over the grocery store.

O: YES!  Yes!

[laughter]

O: Okay, so, uh, with Teletraan 1 out of commission, apparently Hound is the Decepticon monitor today.

S: Sans Cliffjumper to--today, thankfully...but he is human-sitting Spike

O: When aren’t they?  Hound contacts Optimus and warns him that Decepticons are out causing...shenanigans.

S: Like, part of his head lights up--it’s--I think it might have blinked a bit?

O: It was weird.

S: Yeah, and Prime says he'll meet Hound at the Great Falls in eight thousand astro seconds. [muffled groan]

O: I fucking hate all of you.  [laughs]  Just want you to know that!  Um--

S: Can we please have some consistency in this?

O: I just want to know what it means! Look, either don't use human time measurements or do, I don't particularly care but I do know maybe you guys should pick one.  Considering you're not assholes and you work with Spike, and, uh, Sparkplug all the fucking time, I’m actually going to bank on you[‘d] probably swap over to human measurements of time.  At least when talking to humans anyway.

S: That would make the most sense, but…

O: Anyway! Prime has a very abstract-esque Autobot symbol in the shot.

S: It looks super, super ass grumpy.

O: Also apparently, part of his helmet sort of pops up as a communicator?

S: Which is kind of cool.  And Bumblebee is on guard duty, due to earlier injuries while fighting Grimlock.

O: Meanwhile, the Decepticons are calmly gathering a fuck ton of Energon and, uh, Ironhide is cosplaying as Ratchet again.

S: Deep down he totally wants to be a medic.

O: [laughs]

S: I mean he just wants to add more to his Swiss Army knife set of skills.

O: [laughs] Oh god--it’s like, no dude, let Ratchet keep this.  So, uh Prime doesn’t sense any Deception activity.

S: But it's okay, cuz it's official Bluestreak has Shaggy's laugh.

O: And I love it.  In all seriousness it's really funny to me that we've got Fred, Shaggy, and the original Scooby Doo's voice actors here which are Megatron, Bluestreak and Ratchet respectively, if anybody was unaware.  Watching Frank Welker swap between Megatron and Fred Jones's voice is freaking fantastic by the way.  [I can’t unhear Scooby every time Ratchet talks now.  HELP. ~Owls]

S: I think I’m going to have to find that because I don’t know if I’ve seen it--

O: I-I know there's a clip and if we can find it I--we will link to it.  Um, but yeah, no, it is it's pretty delightful.

S: I’d really like to see that, yeah, or hear it.

O: So uh, Decepticons come out of their super lame hiding spots to attack.

S: Apparently a bunch of the Autobots moved off-screen within the last three seconds?

O: Because suddenly there's way fewer of them.  Uh, nobody can hit shit in this fight.

S: But I mean when can they ever, apparently?

O: This is true. Uh, Megatron takes the high ground with a big-ass cable powering his Fusion Cannon as he has Rumble cause an earthquake under the Autobots.

S: He also laughs, but there is no sound.

O: Yeah.

S: None at all.

O: He shoots the ledge out from under the Autobots and they proceed to fall into the water.

S: They were in--they were all in super goofy poses on--all the way down looks like someone's upside down, someone is sort of flailing, someone looks like they’re--maybe--I don't if remember someone looked like they were swan diving. Maybe?  I don’t know.

O: I don't think so.

S: But they all looked really silly.

O: They did look very silly.

S: And none of them can swim right now as they're dragged down river.

O: How strong is that current!?!

S: I mean they're all heavy ass robots, so--

O: You wouldn’t think a current would be able to move...however man fucking tons of metal that is!  Or that they’d be able to stand in the river!

S: Well, I guess it's a really deep river, or something?

O: Apparently?

S: We still don't know, like, the official, like, heights.  I think people tend to--at least I tend to default to like somewhere like 27, I think for--

O: 27 between 40 depending on who we’re talking about.

S: Yeah--

O: So obviously the Dinobots and Megatron are--

S: higher--

O: --a lot taller.

S: But, like the minibots are maybe around 10?

O: Yeah.

S: 10, 12?

O: Like that I could see, maybe being underwater..

S: But…

O: But Optimus!?!

S: Well, the thing is it does depend on how deep it is cuz if it's like a hundred foot reservoir or something…

O: That's true, but, but this is a river and those usually aren’t quite that deep.

S: Yeah.  Thankfully, Bumblebee followed them and picks up Spike, who apparently went with the Autobots?

O: Yeah, he went with the Autobots but Bumblebee was supposed to have stayed behind.  Uh, Megatron wants the dead bodies of his enemies brought to him right this very moment thankyouverymuch.

S: [sighs] God, he really loves his trophies.

O: He does.

S: Bumblebee returns to base with Spike to warn Wheeljack and Ratchet.

O: Wheeljack unveils a brain upgrade that he's been working on for the Dinobots.

S: Seriously Wheeljack, you couldn't have done that earlier.  You could have done that before they woke up and trashed everything?  Maybe your babies wouldn't be in the closet right now!  The Dinobots deserve better.

O: They do. Wheeljack and Ratchet reactivate the Dinobots against the orders of Optimus Prime, in which we get...Grimlock, Grimsy, my dumb, dino baby--you can talk now!

S: And meanwhile Megatron's get the other Autobots, well...basically on the ropes.

[laughter]

S: Cuz they're all chained up.

O: Megs, honey, I'm gonna kink shame you for a second here.

S: I mean honestly, they’re not even chained securely.  It's just like sort of draped artistically on them.

O: YEAH, still kink shaming Megatron here though!

S: And that is totally death by freaking firing squad like--

O: Which just seems a little dark for this cartoon.

S: I mean they were already--like, the last episode that we did, Starscream basically had them chained up against the wall and was like, “I'm gonna shoot you all,” so…

O: I’m starting to see a pattern here...clearly they’re into bondage!

[laughter]

O: YUP!  Still kink shaming!

S: God, but no, yeah, they totally do death by firing squad multiple times, but..

O: Which still seems dark!

S: Yeah, no one's getting any last requests here.

O: So, uh, Wheeljack and the Dinobots arrive by flying.

S: They-re--the Dinobots are some of the few Autobots that can actually fly.  It's like if they can fly why can't you make yourself fly Wheeljack?

O:  But he is flying!  [laughs]

S: Yes, but the rest of the time he can't, this is--it’s dumb.  The Dinobots are still pretty dumb but--

O: They’re better!  They’re better than they were!

S: Yes, they can talk now.  They're...they're good kids.  Starscream continues to be incredibly petty.

O: [questionable Starscream impression] “You're supposed to know everything, what are those!?!”

B: “Scrap metal!” [laughter]

O: So Megatron gives not a single solitary shit.  Meanwhile, Sludge can swim fine, in dino mode, apparently.

S: He is the brontosaurus, maybe? I think he's the brontosaurus.  Pretty sure he’s the brontosaurus, but yeah, that's sort of...it's not aquatic but apparently it's--

O: Aquatic enough?

S: He's heavy enough that he can handle himself in the water, I guess.

O: Anyway, Wheeljack just beans Megatron in the chest with a shot from his gun.

S: And Megatron just, fucking, falls down and guess what Starscream does?

O: [questionable Starscream impression] “Megatron has fallen!  I, Starscream, am now your leader, Decepticons follow me!”

S: And the Decepticons try to attack the Dinobots, uh, failing utterly, miserably.

O: My favorite part is when Grim catches Skywarp in his dino mode’s mouth and then just tosses him in Soundwave.  Sooo...meanwhile, Megatron alts into his gun and magnetizes to the bottom of Starscream's jet mode and just starts shooting?

S: Apparently, that’s what he wants to do right now?

O: [laughing] Right?

S: And Wheeljack gets himself some more guns. Obviously, more guns solve everything.

O: Yeah, yeah, I think, I think he, like, got everybody else's guns that were tied up or something?

S: They were all--the Decepticons just dumped them in a pile.  And then he works his voodoo tech magic...to somehow get all of the Autobots out of their restraints--cuz like apparently, one of the guns has some sort of microwave feature--

O: [laughs]

S: --and then another--like Bluestreaks’s, like, charges people up, somehow???  I don’t know.

O: All I know that it somehow got all the bots out of the restraints, dried off, and recharged in two shots.

S: Yes.  It was weird.

O: So Megatron orders a retreat.

S: The Decepticons are ‘blasting off again!’

O: Ooh la la Team Rocket.

S: And...yup.  And Optimus deigns to allow the Dinobots to stay.

O: And yet they still live in a closet.

S: We're really not forgiving you Optimus, even if you are dad shaped.

O: [laughs] And that's where today's episode cuts.  Uh, join us next time for ‘Fire on the Mountain’!  Where the Autobots remember that Skyfire exists and our favorite alien robots take a trip down to South America.  I also remain convinced that Megatron's got a thing for big, shiny-ass crystals.

S: He does.  I mean considering there's at least three freaking episodes with shiny-ass crystals, and I'm pretty sure that the Transcontinental--Trans-europe Express one also involves a big shiny crystal.

O: That would not shock me.

S: But specifically it's Wheeljack who remembers Skyfire.

O: I'm convinced Wheeljack just didn't know and then they mentioned it in passing and he was like, “Oh!  I can get him out of there!”  [laughs]  Anyway, Specs what are our fanfics for today?

S: Alright, we have a--well, we have four selections today. The first is, “The Field,” by Retrolex.  It's actually kind of an older piece of fanfiction that they rewrote and reposted.  It’s a G1 cartoon continually, rated T for teens.  Uh, it's gen, there's no pairings and the main characters here are Ratchet and Cliffjumper.  Ratchet’s not going to have a fun time.

O: When does he ever have a fun time?

S: I don't think ever, yeah, yeah.  So, in summary, “Ratchet’s job is never easy, sometimes the other Autobots don't make it any easier for him,” and I just wanted something with Ratchet here.

O: That seems fair.

S: Yeah, and it's a one shot, uh, the rewritten version I think is slightly--is somewhat shorter than the original.  I will probably add the link to the original version. Our next choice is, “Just a LIttle Tipsy,” by Alienpixels. G1 cartoon, rated K, Gen, no pairings. Characters here are, Ratchet, Wheeljack, Optimus Prime, and Prowl and in summary, “It's how the hell did Wheelack come up with the idea for the Dinobots anyway?” and then I just wanted something with ID--Dinobot ideation, because the Dinobots are a really big part of this episode.  

O: [chuckles]

S: They're the entire focus and I wanted to focus on them and it's--it's a one shot and our next choice is, uh, “Vigil,” by Nightwind.  Uh, it’s a G1 cartoon continuity, rated K, it's gen, and no pairings.  Characters include the Dinobots and Optimus Prime.  Uh, in summary, ”One of the Dinobots falls deathly ill and the universe collapses.  No, no I'm kidding.  Actually, only Optimus Prime collapses and only into a cushy puddle of guilt.” Vigil is the first in a series and Nightwind originally wrote this, like back in 1990 and first posted it around 2000, then reposted it, I think, in 2010, maybe?  This is pretty old, but this is sort of the start of the Swoop as a medic headcanons.  Which is apparently pretty popular still.

O: I like it, it's really cute in a lot of the fanfic that I've seen it in.

S: Yeah, and so our last choice today is, “Dinos and Fireworks,” by mmouse15.  G1 cartoon, rated K, it's gen and there aren't any pairings.  Uh, the characters are Wheeljack, the Dinobots, Ratchet, and Sideswipe.  In summary, “ The Dinobots are young and have never seen fireworks,” and again it's Dinobot centric and it's a one shot and it's really cute. Cuz--

O: It  sounds really cute!  I haven’t read this one yet--I'm gonna have to!

S: It is. It's basically the Ratchet and Wheeljack have difficulties getting the Dinobots to go to--into recharge like, most of the time and then Sideswipe is like, “Hey!”

O: “I have mini explosions!” [laughs]

S: Pretty much!  And then the Dinobots, like after the explosion--oh god, the firework display the Dinobots are like, “Oh let's go to bed now,” more or less.  And it's just--it's cute, it’s very cute.  And, “The Field,” is very funny, it's a comedy, but the rest of these..they're good. And that just about wraps it up for us today.  

S: Remember to check out our Tumblr at afterspark-podcast.tumblr.com, for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned you can also find us on Facebook and Twitter @AftersparkPod (all one word) and Soundcloud and Youtube at Afterspark Podcast with the space between afterspark and podcast you can also find us on PillowFort as Afterspark-Podcast and on AO3 by searching for Afterspark Podcast.  Till next time, I'm Specs!

O: And I'm Owls!

S: Toodles!

[Outro music]