#//and on this blog it's craig who talks him into it like ''hey you LIKE making coffee; why are you not doing that?'' | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

winderlylandchime · 11 months ago

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Hello! I am coming to you with Christmas/reveal update: So first of, Merry Christmas, i hope you had a lovely day. And second: yesterday my day started with my brother waking up probably the whole neighborhood by blasting Christmas music and then he immediately forced me to open presents. His “bad present” to me btw was my own candle that was already half used. So that made me fell a bit better about his present. Let’s get to the thing we all care about, btw i was so fucking nervous, it’s actually ridiculous even though I knew he wouldn’t freak out. Anyway: he opened his present and saw the shirt and he started laughing so much and was like ‘oh fuck i can’t wait to wear this to my check up on Wednesday’ and then he found the note… and he stared at it and then looked at me, looked at the note, looked back at me and went ‘isnt that the site that banned porn?’ Out of all things i thought he’d say, that one wasn’t even near the list. And i was like ‘yeah, im sorry. Originally i just wanted to tell the person how you started watching it and how she kinda had something to do with it and then it just kind of…blew up and other people wanted to hear your thoughts’ and he looked at me surprised and went ‘people…as in plural..*looks at me almost a bit scared* so like…do they hate my thoughts and me oooorrr would we be friends if we met?’ And then i told him that to my knowledge, he was liked and the look on his face was priceless ngl. And then he went ‘show me the blog’ and i had your blog already pulled up all the way down to the first ever message (which holy shit..i almost feel bad for all the spam, bless your heart for putting up with me) and he spent hours going through them. I’m talking every answer/comment/post.. and when he finished he went ‘damn…i was going through it. I’m so glad I matured since then. But im happy they didn’t witness my season 1 reactions’ (he has not matured. He is still the same minus all the meds. During s1 he threw a bag of candy at the tv when Craig showed up..) after that he told on me to our parents and he started that conversation by saying ‘merry Christmas, hey guess what? I’m famous!’ I got in trouble a LITTLE bit BUT he did defend it with ‘no no guys, you dont get it. I’m famous! To like 5 people but that’s still a lot of people!’ He also called our uncle and was like ‘you made bets on me being gay cause of Brian? That’s messed up bro.’ He spent the entire day going through the messages multiple times and told his friends about it.

And then today he wanted me to send you guys a message in his name and i wanted to die inside. His only order was to type everything he says. So my apologies in advance, he proof read this entire message and still wanted to send it as it was. So without further ado, here’s a message from the man himself:

Should I start with hello or sup? Hi everyone, how are you guys? Hope Christmas didn’t suck for you. Yesterday i found out about this blog and my partial participation in it. So hello, first of all I gotta say: Jinx is fucking cool so I already like the person who runs the blog. Make sure you let them know that. And ask what their favorite drag race moment with Jinx was? Okay, second of all: that photo meme someone made with Kevin Hart being Bri Bri was the best fucking thing I’ve seen in a while, it made me laugh so much. I sent it to all my friends to show them, hope that’s okay. Anyway now to the important shit: I am very happy that I was able to entertain you people throughout the last few months even if it was without my knowledge. I am also 100% very fucking confused about it. I actually thought my reactions were pretty fucking normal and that mom and dad were being dramatic but now being able to go back and see them…i would lie and say it was the meds but my sister clearly provided some other stories so I can’t even lie that I’m usually normal. Whatever. But i am happy to learn that I am not the only one when it comes to being in love with Blondie and Brian. Or the real life versions of them. Although there’s not a lot of them in any behind the scenes stuff or even interviews or photos and my sister told me that that hasn’t changed even now, so what the fuck is up with that? I was ready to reactivate my instagram to keep up with them, only to learn that I got better chance seeing Jesus come back to life than to see them post a fucking photo especially Gale. Kinda fucked up and rude but whatever, I’ll live. I think. Probably not.

Anyway, glad to know we had similar feelings about some stuff and that I’m not alone in thinking Mike and Ben are fucking boring. Felt good to be understood. And I’m happy to know that without my knowledge I was accepted into your little club. I read every answer to my sisters messages and even some, is it comments? Well I read those little notes too and some of them made me laugh and you guys all sound pretty fucking dope. I mean someone all the way from fucking Europe kept up with me? I am so sorry to that person but also that’s so cool.

And I want to say thanks for the well wishes! I saw that at the beginning there were some replies wishing me fast recovery and all that shit, so thanks for that! That’s very sweet of them especially since they don’t know me. Let them know i find out on Wednesday if I can go home next week and that i might get my cast removed. Okay, now i leave them with my farewell message: You guys are cool, thanks for making me a member of the club. I appreciate that a lot. Fandoms are fucking dope cause it’s just bunch of people loving the same thing and isn’t that fucking cool to think about? Just bunch of people coming together because of their love for something. So it’s nice to be in another fandom. I met my best friend cause we both love Iron Man. Hug your homies or whoever you want and pet an animal if you can! And while you’re at it, tell a republican to go fuck themselves. Especially right now. Bye. Let them know I threw a peace sign up at the end.

FRIENDS IF YOU ARE READING THIS GO TO MY BLOG AND READ FROM THE START OF THE MOST RECENT UPDATES BECAUSE THIS IS THE SWEET SWEET FINALE TO THIS CRAZY LITTLE TRIP.

Hello brother anon! (Dear sweet anon, please show him this message). I’m so glad you’ve taken this all with a big heart and a sense of humor. But give what your sister has shared with us and the way you’ve joined your local drag community, I didn’t think you would be super pissed. But you never know. As this is a show that has been off the air for nearly 20 years, the fandom is small and we very rarely get new content (the newest content was 2020) so having your updates via your sister was an incredible breath of fresh air. Thank you from the entire tumblr fandom!

This? This is what it’s about:

Fandoms are fucking dope cause it’s just bunch of people loving the same thing and isn’t that fucking cool to think about? Just bunch of people coming together because of their love for something. So it’s nice to be in another fandom. I met my best friend cause we both love Iron Man. Hug your homies or whoever you want and pet an animal if you can! And while you’re at it, tell a republican to go fuck themselves. Especially right now. Bye. Let them know I threw a peace sign up at the end.

This is what it is all about. Fandom is about the people just as much as the canon on which it is based. We are small but mighty and we are happy and delighted to welcome you with open arms.

My favorite Jinkx moments? Oh god, to have to choose? Ofc her iconic snatch game performances - all stars 7 of course of course but her snatch game as Little Edie on S5… whenever I wash my hair and put it up in a turban I like to go find my spouse (not hard, we live in a 2 bedroom apartment) and quote her line “I can never tell if it’s caviar or giblets for the cats” and I get bonus points if I actually grab a can of cat food for my performance. I’ve gotten to see her live twice - her and Dela’s holiday show in 2019 (I think - or it was 2018) and her most recent one-person show. I am SO EXCITED TO SEE HER IN DOCTOR WHO.

Much love to both of you - Siblings Anon. (makes fist) Ally.

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

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nautilus-that-eats-hyacinths · 2 years ago

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I posted 5,097 times in 2022

That's 5,097 more posts than 2021!

26 posts created (1%)

5,071 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@unfriendlyneighbourhoodbogwitch

@esinahkabanjo

@ulysses-but-somehow-more-transer

@inertial-reel

@donuts4evry1

I tagged 1,105 of my posts in 2022

#them. - 49 posts

#tumblr lore - 36 posts

#i love this sm - 35 posts

#personal - 20 posts

#prev tags - 12 posts

#living alone - 11 posts

#100% canon - 11 posts

#i love him - 11 posts

#i love this website - 10 posts

#amen - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#scared oof telling my psychiatrist i think i have adhd because she once said that “oh everyone comes to me saying that they have adhd when-

My Top Posts in 2022:

Sometimes I wonder if I have ADHD or autism or a secret third thing (both) or a secret fourth thing (is just picking traits from both and is actually just neurotypical), but truly, I am only a secret fifth thing (too scared of knowing I have no explanations for my separation from others and "weird" brain which seems so different from others so I refuse to get tested)

10 notes - Posted October 30, 2022

hey don’t cry. 20,000 leagues under the sea. Okay?

-Jules Verne to the sci-fi fans in 1870

27 notes - Posted October 19, 2022

Who gave the TFBW character sheets the right to be the good like...

Religion- metric system

kryptonite- mom

kryptonite- poverty

power source- love

power source- diabetes

power source- cthulhu

power source- minion management

also the amount of cis het male vs the amount of hyper specific genders and sexualities like ????? who let them????

and then Tweek and Craig being the only cis gay men is also hilarious (and their power sources match)

every single one is a masterpiece.

29 notes - Posted November 1, 2022

Just finished Heartbreak High on Netflix and just

WHY THE FUCK IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT IT THAT WAS AMAZING

Anyway I can't wait for the next season fhioregweavnrowev it was so great

It's like the greatest representation of Gen-z culture I've ever seen, really- it's a high school show (and that part isn't realistic, it's very dramatised in like teenage parties and shit) which talks about relationships, sex, school, lying, memories, friendships, queerness, preformative activism, brutality, changind and developing, gangs, owning it up, moving on and investing in someone you love, parenting, prejudice. Heads up, there's some heavy topics as well (drugs, drinking, sex and SA)

It was so well developed and none of the representation feels forced ever, and there are looooads of representation, which was all genuine. Finally a show that feels natural.

36 notes - Posted October 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hal Steward, villain of the 2010 Dreamworks masterpiece Megamind, is at the stage, saying "There is no Easter Bunny, there is no Tooth Fairy, and there is. No. Queen of England."

The crowd boos him incessantly.

"No, actually, he's right", a voice speaks up.

It's me, and the BBC, and tumblr user @staffs-secret-blog

548 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #I only made this account in like the middle of the year

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whats-ahead · 2 years ago

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End’s Ahead

Hey everyone! It’s been awhile since we last update here!

The next update post we were going to make was on how we finally cracked the code on Len and the whole reason on how he was not working was the fact that he was always suppose to be close to his dad but Adele was always closer to his dad than him so we were scrapped Len AND Gale and made them into two entirely different characters, swapping their roles.

Having Roman, Brendan’s son, be Adele’s mentor figure who’s a bit older. Pokemon ranger who gets sent into the distortion world that everyone needs to go save. Adele is close with the Birch’s and since Roman is older it’s not that she was competing for Brendan’s attention and was more of an unofficial younger sibling.

Matchi, Wally’s nibling (genderfluid) he got custody of (intentionally Io parallels). Coordinator, Adele’s best friend. Fit the slot Len used to fit. And we worked everything out, we had to scrap Larentia entirely, change Ber’s trainer class, and so much other plot stuff but it doesn’t matter.

Because neither of us really care for having pokeani fankids.

For some this might seem it’s coming out of no where but honestly for me, I feel it’s been a long time coming. We haven’t really cared about the anime in years. I think you can tell because the only anime ships we have really only fit in gen 4 and before. Even then, the only anime ships we ever actually really liked we used on this were Ash & May and Dawn & Gary. Everything else was just checking off a checklist.

Like ‘oh we need a Misty Kid, let’s make Bridge’ ‘We need a Cilan kid, we’ll make Eclair’. It wasn’t actually because we cared about the ships those kids are attached to.

But we liked the kids we had and we liked making them so we didn’t really see the point in changing anything. I stand by that a lot of these kids mean so much to me. We’ve had them for over 7 years (they’ve been a thing longer than this blog has been) I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

As some of you know I recently (without Craig) made some game verse kids and it made me realize that I actually like having fankids for the sake of them being fankids. Which I know sounds self explanatory, that’s what it should be. I like thinking about them with their parents, how that effects them. How they act when they’re little all the good stuff. Their relationship with their parents is a key factor of part of the reason I like the game verse kids. I could take away the parental relationship with literally all of the kids on this blog and still feel the exact same amount them.

So that’s exactly what I pitched to Craig what we do. Take all of the kids we like/want to keep around, redesign them, and make them ocs. And it’s been great! We’ve only done Adele, Jean, Axel and Ike so far but honestly, it makes me feel so much more excited to work on this stuff than I have been in years.

We’re no longer restricted to the anime canon neither of us really care about, we can make as many or as little characters as we want. Characters don’t need to make “sense” to be in certain places in certain times because they’re ocs and we decide everything. It’s great.

As for this blog, I plan to keep it up for archive purposes but don’t plan on updating it. I am taking a few adult designs for my game verse if it works out but some will be lost in time (sadly Submas Hilbert Hilda does not work in my game verse which is the worst that is the worst thing about the blog going down in my opinion).

If anyone’s curious about the current version of the kids I’m likely only going to post them on my art twitter. We might change names for everyone we want to talk it (except Axel it still fits him) but if see me tweeting them under any name (with more to be added later but not on this account) they’re probably kids from here)

In order left to Right Top Bottom: Ike, Matchi (who no we didn’t redesign bc they only existed for a week before we started this), Axel, Jean, Adele

#update #news #if anyone has any questions about how things are going feel free to ask #bc i am willing to be super transparent as possible about everything if people want and stuff

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cleverri · 5 years ago

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It’s Hell in South Park!

SOUTH PARK READER INSERT | written by MOD clever

chapter guide: pt.1 | pt.2 | 🥀

NOTE: I also recommend seeing the comic yourself, it’s called It’s Hell in South Park, cause the artists and writers are doing an amazing job so far! Most of this chapter is just the script from the comic, it’ll change once you appear.

warnings; none

Craig eyes soon fluttered open right when he felt the buzzing under his hand, and soon realized it was morning time. He sat up quickly and picked up, confused about what exactly happened.

"...what." Craig asks, rubbing his eyes to get the tiredness out.

"Hey dude, just checking to make sure you're not dead or anything." Craig went wide eyed as Token's voice went through, before he tried to remember what happened at night.

"No?"

"Okay well just after what happened last night we wanted to make sure you were alright. Also usually you meet us outside so we can all walk to school and today you didn't, so...Just seemed a little weirder considering the circumstances, and..." Token started rambling, making Craig huff out of annoyance.

"Token. Can you slow the fuck down." Craig asks, raising a brow.

"Sorry, you just woke up, huh?"

"Yeah, thanks for that."

"Sorry." Craig cracked a smile, before letting out a chuckle.

"Sooooo... Are you not going to school today or something?" Token then asks, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Ugh. Do I have to?" Craig asks, feeling the need to get some water, or else he'd pass out.

"I mean I'm not your mom, but..." Craig then let out a groan of annoyance.

"Fine. Just gimmie a few, I'll catch up with you guys or...Whatever..."

"Okay, see you soon, dude." Token says before ending the call.

"Yeah...When did I even pass out last night..." Craig asks himself, getting up and walked over to the camera, that was still somehow recording. "Oh yeah I was gonna, like... Record myself playing that stupid fucking game...It's been recording for 9 hours? I didn't even put an SD card in it. God I'm so fucking stupid..." Craig then shut off his camera, and decided to watch it after school, since there was barely any time left to get to school.

After a few more minutes, he walked out of his room, his outfit on and started walking down the stairs, still bored.

"Not even any time for breakfast..." He mumbled to himself, and sighed, planning on eating something later on. He grabbed his book bag and walked out the front door, closing and locking it behind him. He started walking down the sidewalk, bringing out his phone in the process.

"Oh yeah...I forgot I made some random blog last night...Great." Craig rolled his eyes in annoyance, but lightened up a bit when he saw his friends up ahead. He rushed forward to greet them. "Hey!"

"Oh hey dude-" Token started greeting, but was interrupted by Clyde, who seemed too happy that Craig was there.

"DUDE YOU'RE ALIVE!"

"Yep."

"So how did the rest of your night go?" Token asks, putting his phone away. Kenny raised a brow and leaned on Clyde, wanting to know what happened also.

"Eh. I think I passed out like, right after you guys left. I set up a camera and I think I played a little more of that game, but I'm kinda blanking it past that part. I had a crazy dream though." Craig explained, shrugging. It was very weird at what happened to him.

"Oh TELL IT, bro!" Clyde exclaimed, smiling, wanting to hear the story.

"Was it a scary dream?" Token asks, raising a brow. He noticed how shaken up Craig seemed to be.

"...I don't really know. It was, like... weird. So in my dream, I was totally playing with the ouija board some more." Craig started explaining, putting his phone away.

"Dude I totally had to change my pants when I got home after that, by the way." Clyde muttered.

"Yeah, I know." It was silent for a bit, but then Craig decided to keep explaining "Anyway-I was playing it, and I ended up talking to this guy. I guess it was a demon or something. I dunno. I talked, and eventually there was like, a knock at my window. I checked it out, and then I turned around, and there was just two demons, standing there." Craig said, now remembering what the demons looked like.

"That's pretty scary, dude." Token muttered, glancing over at the school.

"...What did they do?" Kenny asked, very into with the story.

"The male, like. Had that thing you move around the board. It was holding that thing. They were both speaking gibberish for a bit, but then the male snapped that thing in half, and told me some weird cryptic shit." Craig explained even more, following his friends into school. Token thought for a bit, trying to figure out why this dream happened.

"Damn, dude. You sure you didn't actually get haunted?" Token asked one more time, glancing over at his friend, who only nodded.

"Nah. I woke up this morning and there wasn't shit. The camera I set up didn't even have a card in it. I didn't even have time to watch the playback on it, but I'm pretty sure it was just 99% me sleeping. So I shut it off and left." Craig entered the classroom and sat in his seat. He watched as his friends did the same, before looking at him once more.

"If it helps you at all, I dreamt about pirates." Token joked, earning a short laugh from Kenny.

"Didn't really need help, but thanks for telling me anyways I guess-"

"Okay class!" Craig and his friends sat straighter, and watched as they're teacher moved over to the front of the class. "I hope you've gotten your morning questions all answered. I'll grab them from your desks in a moment, and then we can all start today's lesson. But first, I'd like to say that you all have two new students joining the classroom!" Craig leaned his head on to his fist, bored already. "This is pretty exciting, we don't get too many new visitors in this town, now do we? Come on in, you two." The teacher looked toward the door, and entered two students. Craig glanced over, before going wide eyed. He stared in shock as the two new students went beside the teacher. "I'd like you all to meet your new classmates, and hopefully, new friends...Go on, tell them your names, dears." Craig sat up straight once more, still in a state of shock.

There was one male teen, messy blonde hair and cyan eyes. He seemed really twitchy and stressed. Then there was the female. She was a bit taller then the male, and had her messy (H/C) in a bun(Unless it's too short :P) and also had (E/C) that seemed to pierce each and every soul in this classroom. She also seemed to have some burns scattered across her body. They seemed way too familiar...

"T...Tweek! My name is Tweek!" Tweek exclaimed, flinching at how loud he was for a second. Tweek then glanced at the female, smiling a bit when the female winked at him, as if she had a plan going on in her head.

"And my name is (Y/N). Very nice to meet you all." (Y/N) stated, smiling warmly to her new classmates.

"Why don't you two go take the seats over there next to Craig, and we can get started on today's lesson!"

"Hhh, okay...!" Tweek muttered, walked over and sat down, (Y/N) following right after, just right beside Tweek. Craig stared at Tweek for a bit, finding it strange that this student looked way to much like the demon in his dream. He then leaned forward and stared at (Y/N), trying to figure out where she got the burns from. After a while, he realized Tweek caught him staring.

"Are you staring at us...?" Tweek asked, well whispered, but it got (Y/N)'s attention. She looked over and raised a brow.

"No-"

"Why are you staring at us? Do we look funny? Is there something on my face? Oh god, I must look so stupid–" Tweek started to panic a bit, getting (Y/N) to calm him down.

"Uh, no... You're just..." Craig trailed off, looking over at (Y/N), who seemed to notice, and hide her burns from him. Craig went wide eyed, suddenly feeling bad for making her think that's why he was staring. "Nevermind." Tweek glanced at his friend, before looking at Craig, hatred in his eyes.

"What do you mean I'm "just..." ???" Tweek asked, venom dripping from his voice.

"Dude, nothing." 'He's gonna be so annoying, I can already tell.' Craig thought, glancing away for a second.

"What???"

"I said nothing."

"Agh, why won't you stop staring at us then?!" Tweek asked once more, not daring to break his glare.

"I don't want any trouble, man! Just mind your own business!"

"...O-Okay?" Craig looked away, got his phone out under his desk and started texting Token, very confused about what just happened.

~~~

"So what exactly about him freaked you out, dude? It's not like you to be scared of like...Anything." Token asked, now walking with Craig to the lunchroom.

"Okay like, maybe freaked out wasn't the best way to put it. But there's something weird about them..."

"What do you mean? I noticed Tweek was kinda twitchy the whole class. And (Y/N) just has those burns on her body?" Token stated, following his friend into the lunch line.

"Yeah, but they were only in your first period, dude. So far, they've been in every single class of mine." Craig muttered, grabbing his lunch.

"Dang dude, all three?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe it's just a weird coincidence."

"Like, sure. I could get behind that idea, but like...They look so familiar." Craig stated simply, setting his lunch down an the table, and sat down, Token doing the same.

"Familiar? They're the weirdest looking people I've seen here in a while. Have you seen them before or something?" Token asks, quite confused.

"...I dunno... Maybe?" Craig asks, before taking a bit out of his pasta, which tasted like shit.

"What do you mean "maybe?"

"Well, like, you know how I had that dream about a demon or a ghost or whatever?" Craig put his fork down, trying to figure this all out.

"Uhh, yeah?"

"He kinda, like...I dunno. They kinda reminded me of...–"

"Hey..." Craig jumped a bit, before looking over only to see Tweek and (Y/N), seeming a bit nervous.

"Oh. It's you two again." Craig stated, looking over at them in suspicion.

"Yeah. Hey-Um... I just..." Tweek started, but was interrupted by (Y/N), who crossed her arms, covering up the burns on her left arm.

"He wanted to apologize." She simply stated, smiling a bit.

"I probably came off as rude or something, earlier...I just get nervous when people stare at me! Or my friend! I think they hate us, or, or-I don't know, maybe they wanna beat the shit out of us–We're new here, man, I don't wanna get into a fight on my first day, hgghghgh!!! I'm just saying sorry because I don't want any beef or anything! And everybody is avoiding us too, probably because we're fucking weird, I don't know! I was wondering if we could sit with you guys because, hhh... I don't know! You're the only one we've talked to so far..." Craig glanced between Tweek and (Y/N), noting how scared they are.

"Oh god I'm sorry I'm–" Tweek started up once more, but stopped when (Y/N) put a hand on his shoulder, calming him down.

"Dude I can't think that fast, give me a fucking second to process everything you just said." Craig muttered, still glancing around.

"Oh god I'm just rambling all over the place again aren't I??? Fuck, I'm so fucking sorry–"

"Dude, chill." Craig sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, before coming to a decision. "Okay, whatever. Just like. Sit... not next to me. Either of you. Sit next to Clyde, or something..." Craig then just pulled out his phone. Tweek and (Y/N) glanced at each other in worry, before sitting down.

"Hhhhh, o... okay..." Tweek muttered, sitting next to Clyde, but went straight up in worry as (Y/N) decided to ignore Craig's words and sat right beside him. Craig looked over at her, watching as she uncrossed her arms, huffing. He glanced at Tweek, before deciding to ask a question, not really thinking about it.

"How'd did you get those burns?" (Y/N) flinched before looking at Craig, a bit worried.

"Oh, I was in a house fire...Got out alive luckily..." (Y/N) muttered, putting her hand on her shoulder to cover the burns. After a few seconds of very awkward silence, Craig spoke up again.

"I think they look cool." (Y/N) looked over at Craig in shock, before smiling slightly.

"Really?"

"Really." (Y/N) glanced away, still smiling, before leaning on the table, thinking. Craig looks at his phone, then at Tweek, finally ready to ask the question.

"Hey, uh...Tweek? Is that your name?" (Y/N) looks over, a bit confused as Tweek perks up.

"Yes!! What? What's wrong?" Tweek asks, raising a brow. Craig glances over at (Y/N), before looking back at Tweek.

"Nothing, nothing...Just, like... I was wondering something." Craig mutters, putting hsi phone into his pocket. (Y/N) stops leaning on the table.

"W...what?" Craig glances at (Y/N) once more, then sighs.

"Are you two like demons or something?" He notices that both (Y/N) and Tweek go into panic mode, but Tweek's a bit worse, seeing that he might have a panic attack.

"A WHAT?!"

"A demon???" Clyde asks, raising a brow, then watched as Token gave Craig a shocked look.

"Whoa, Craig, just right off the bat?"

"OH GOD ARE WE BEING THAT WEIRD??? I knew it was a mistake sitting over here! No wonder everybody was looking at us weird–You must all think we're some sort of FREAKS or somethingghffhghhhfdh–" Right before Tweek could finish, the lights flickered a bit, and Clyde start to try and reassure his new friend.

"Hey, hey, Tweek, it's okay!" Clyde exclaims, smiling warmly, and gives (Y/N) a smile, but frowned when he realized she wasn't there anymore.

"Craig, look– You've scared (Y/N) off! You need to realize that both Her and Tweek are cool! They're both a little jumpy and funny, but Tweek and I were just having a heartfelt conversation about what kind of anime he likes to watch. Demons hate anime! Trust me bro, I know!" Clyde states, making Craig glance away in confusion.

"Uhuh... Did he contribute to this conversation at all, or did you just talk about the anime you like." Craig asks, raising a brow.

"I mean I had to warm him up, he's a little shy, but–"

Clyde was then interrupted by the lights, as they suddenly just went off. Tweek looks over and tries to find (Y/N) in the crowd, before going panicked again.

"Did the power just go out?"

"Agh! It's been storming all day, the wind probably knocked something over!!!" Tweek exclaimed, mentally cursing out his best friend who just suddenly upped and left.

"Does this mean we get to go home early?"

"How did the weather get so bad so quickly?" Craig muttered to himself, also looking around in confusion.

"Hey yeah, wasn't it supposed to just be kinda cloudy today?" Token asks, but perked up when Craig looked at him, a "seriously" look on his face.

"What, did you check the weather or something? God you're so boring Token-"

" Wow, okay, you're one to talk–"

"╬╒ ╬╬╬■ ■ ╬╬╬ ╧╧╬ ╬ ╒ ╬╬ ╬ ╬ ╧ ╧ ╬ ■ ╬ ■ ╬ ╒ ╬ ╬ " Everyone looked up at the intercom in shock, not expecting the voice to come through like that.

"Oh god what is that?! WHAT IS THAT??!!?!" Tweek panicked once more, shaking.

"It's the intercom, dude. Chill." Craig responds, glaring a bit at the male in front of him.

"Wait, how is the intercom working if the power is out?" Token asks, making everyone in his group perk up in confusion

"Maybe they have a generator?"

" If they have a back up generator, why would they turn on the intercoms first, idiot. How would they turn on only the intercoms."

"I dunno dude!" Clyde finishes the argument, but jumped when the voice came back on.

" ╬ ■ ╬ ╒ ╬ ╬ ╒ ╬╬ ╬╬O ╬ ■ ■ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╧ ╧ ╬ ╬ ╬╬TT╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬ HH╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬ L╬╬╬ A╬╬╬╬╬╬╧ ╧ ╬ ╬"

"WHAT DO WE DO?!?!" Tweek exclaimed, standing up.

"Dude, it'll be okay. Haven't you ever been in a power outage before?"

"I DON'T KNOW!!!!H!H!HHHJHHJ!!!!!!"

"╬ ╬ ╬ T╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ AA╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ LL╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬L ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬Y ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ HH╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬O╬ !╬ !"

Craig snorts a bit, looking down at his phone.

"These guys actually think we should go and check out the rest of the school. What do they expect us to see? A fucking ghost or something?" Craig asks his group of friends, playing it off as some type of joke.

"╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╧╧╧╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╧ ╬ ╬"

"Haven't you been going on about demons like, all day, dude?" Token asks, raising a brow at the smug looking friend, who's smile faltered a bit.

"Yeah okay but for real though-"

"I thought you were being real–"

"No shut up." Craig stated, glaring slightly at Token, who didn't look amused.

"Well... I still think it'd be a good idea to go and check what's going on? Some teacher, or someone... should have came over by now." Token tried to reason with his friend, glancing over at Tweek to keep an eye on him.

"╬ ╬ ■ ╒╬ ╬╬ ╧ ■ ╧ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╧ ╒╒╒╒ ╬ ■ ■ ╬"

Craig groans a tiny bit, deciding to turn on the flashlight on his phone.

"I guess? Do we have to?" Craig asks finally, but got interrupted by the intercom, which seemingly got louder.

"╬ ╬╬ ■ ╬■ ╧ ╬ ■ ╬ ■ ╬ ╧ ■ ╧ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╧ ╧ ╬ ■ ╬ ■ ╬ ╒ ╒ ╒"

"I mean, maybe we can figure out why the speakers are freaking out so much."

"And maybe we could figure out where that girl went!" Both Craig and Token looked over and finally noticed that (Y/N) was missing, and nowhere to be seen.

"Mmmmmmm...Fine..." Craig got up and left, the entire group following right behind him. He looked around the pitch black hallway, listening as the rain poured on the school. "Okay, great, this is a shocker. Who would have guessed we'd see nothing but pitch black nothingness." Craig sarcastically said, glancing a bit at Token, who noticed and snapped back.

"It's so dark out...How bad is this storm gonna get?" Token asked, flinching a bit as thunder boomed.

"Man, I don't know. I'm not a weather channel, dude." Craig joked a bit, putting his flashlight down a bit. During that span of seconds though, two figures popped up ahead. One seemed to just be happy, while the other immediately got scared and ran away, long tail flailing behind them.

"Hey, hey Craig. If we go home early today, we should hang out at your place." Clyde suggested, looking up at his BFF.

"If it's gonna end up like last night, I'd rather not." Craig simply replied, rolling his eyes when his friend let out a "offended" gasp.

"What??? Why not, I thought it was fun!!"

"Eh-"

"I think Craig's just scared of summoning another "demon." Craig glared at Token, letting out a huff of annoyance.

"Yeah, okay, whatever you say." Clyde looked up at Tweek, noticing how nervous his new friend seemed to be.

"Oh hey, speaking of– Hey Tweek, I still don't think you're a demon or anything. I don't think (Y/N) is either! You should hang out with us more." Clyde smiled at Tweek, before an idea popped up into his head. "OH MY GOD YOU SHOULD COME OVER TO CRAIG'S WITH US TODAY."

"Okay cool I guess we're all just inviting ourselves to my house now." Craig muttered, earning a panicked look from the twitchy male.

"What!!! You guys hate me though! In fact, I should– I should just go!!" Tweek exclaimed, turning around to walk away, but stopped when Clyde reached out and grabbed his wrist.

"Wait, no, dude! Where did you get that idea, bro?"

"If you're talking about Craig, he's just a weirdo. Especially today. Don't worry, you'll get used to him. Or... he'll get used to you." Token stated, looking back and smiling warmly at Tweek, who seemed to get a bit less tense. "We can all chill and play something casual tonight."

"Literally, I never said you guys could come over." Craig stated, slightly glaring at all his new friends. Jimmy walked beside the group, noticing something in the dark.

"Yeah, but we're gonna anyways bro, so you might as well just accept it." CLyde shot back, grinning at Craig, who seemed to just get more annoyed.

"I don't like how dark and quiet everything is...! Why are we going this way again???" Tweek exclaimed once more, looking into the pitch black, but is quickly distracted by Craig.

"We never said you had to come, dude." Craig watched as Tweek glanced away, looking a bit pale.

"No I know, but...I just wanna find my friend, I want her to be safe-"

"Tally-ho there, old friends!"

Everyone froze, looking back forward. They all had nothing to say as they just stared at the person in front of them, who just continued to smile.

"Is...Is that...?" Token tried to ask, but no more words came out.

"It is indeed! Been quite a while since I've seen all of you, hasn't it!" The figure exclaimed exclaimed, stepping a few more steps forward, making Craig put his phone back up, finally showing who it was.

Pip Pirrup...

"Dude...Dude we thought you, like, died!" Clyde exclaimed, moving behind Craig out of fright.

"Yeah, like...YEARS ago..." Token finished for Clyde, taking a step back.

"And you'd be correct, ol' chaps!" Pip responded happily, making the group tense up once more.

"Wait, are you okay?"

"DUDE did you do the thing where, like, you died and someone brought you back to life like REALLY SOON AFTER and then maybe you moved away or something for a long time or like–" Clyde tried asking many questions at once, but shut up once Pip lifted a finger to quiet him down.

"Oh, no need for any concern, trust me! None of that happened, none at all. You see, a lot has happened in the years that I've been gone!" Pip chuckled a bit, closing his sky blue eyes at the memories. "I see a lot has happened for you lot as well. But for me..."

Pip opened his eyes once more, showing off his now ruby red eyes. Craig stared at the British teen in front of him, not being able to say anything, surprisingly.

"╬Yearsin hell can do a number on you, it can!╬"

"Oh, it's just so lovely to see you all! Where are all of the others? I'd love to have one great big reunion! Though it could hardly be called a reunion, now would it? I'd be the only one returning! Or, wait, no..." Pip started rambling, giggling a bit. Tweek glanced behind Pip, trying to find something but found nothing.

"There are others that would love to see you all, I'm sure of it! I'm sure they're already here, and you barely know it! Thanks to you and your curiosity, you've let open a portal from hell, right in your very own bedroom! Isn't that just splendid?" Craig went to say something, but went quiet when he noticed Pip wasn't done talking.

"Everybody who wants to come and see you simply just... can now! Oh, I'm sure you all know this already, I'm just so excited I can't stop myself from talking! And I'm sure you're excited too now, aren't you all? Oh, and you can finally apologize for all of the terrible, terrible things you've done to me as a child! And I'm here to say, my fellow friend, I would wholeheartedly accept!" Pip continued to ramble on and on, which started to annoy Craig.

"There's no need to ramble on, either. Just a simple apology I believe is in order." Pip finally finished, staring at the group hopefully. No one dared to say a word. "Don't be shy now, there's no need to hesitate!!! You and all of your friends are sorry, are you not?" Pip asked once more, only to earn more silence. "You can take your time. Or if you think I don't deserve it, that's fine too!!! It's okay if you're not sorry. I still forgive you. Or maybe you forgot me, too?" Pip suggested to himself, letting his smile falter just a bit, but he quickly regained his happiness.

"Don't worry about that either, old friend! I'm used to people forgetting about me!" Pip let his feelings go straight down, but he wouldn't dare show it. "Oh, I know this must be quite jarring, but really, everything is fine! I'm not here to hurt any of you! And that comes straight from my heart, it does. I could do so many unimaginable things to you all now, but I would never have it in my heart to do so!" Pip finished, letting the group talk for what they actually want to say.

"Okay, um, you know what, I'm gonna take some initiative here and–" Token started, but got interrupted by Clyde, who seemed very scared.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I MEAN IT I'M SORRY FOR ALL THE MEAN THINGS I DIDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!" Clyde screamed, before getting dragged away by Token and Tweek. Token turned around and grabbed Craig's hand, seeing he wasn't running either.

"Dude, Craig, do you mind actually running with us?!" Craig said nothing, still trying to take in everything. "Oh my god, dude, come on!" Token ran away with the rest of the group, not realizing they left someone behind. Token then kicked the school doors down and kept running until the school was almost out of sight.

"OH GOD I'M SO... STILL SORRY... AND... SO OUT OF... BREATH..." Clyde explained, trying to get air but could only wheeze for a bit.

"I'm just ...I... Was that even real? Did the school put something weird in our food again?" Token asked himself, looking down at the sidewalk. Craig just stared into space, trying to think while Tweek made sure Clyde was alright.

"Are– are you going to be okay, man?" Tweek asks, helping Clyde to lean back up.

"YEAH... yeah..." Clyde muttered, still wheezing a tiny bit. Tweek glances over and notices that Craig hasn't talked at all, and furrows his brows in concern.

"Is Craig okay??? What's wrong with him?????"

"I don't know, really? Sometimes he locks up under stress, but like...Never like this, you know?" Token replies, looking over at Craig, watching as he slowly looked down.

"DID HE GET POSSESSED???" Tweek exclaimed, tensing up but quickly calmed down once Token started talking once more.

"What? No, dude. He's probably just shaken up. I know I am." Token shrugged, walking over to stand beside Tweek. Craig sighed and rubbed his temples, trying not to get a headache.

"Ugh, guys, stop talking about me. I'm trying to think..." Craig muttered, not even sparing a glance at his friends.

"Dude, is right now really the best time for thinking?" Token asked, raising a brow.

"That sentence was so stupid, shut up."

"...Fair enough. Well... where should we go?" Token muttered, looking around, ignoring as the rain made his clothes soaked.

"Are we still going to Craig's house...?" Clyde asks, finally able to get air withouyt having to cough or wheeze.

"I guess we could-"

"Oh my god. We're not going to my place. Did you not hear what the guy said back there?" Craig snapped, turning around and looking at his friends in anger.

"The guy? Which guy?" Token raises a brow at Craig, who huffs in annoyance.

"You know...Pap or whatever his name was. I don't fucking know, man. I... Just shut up." Craig stated simply, turning back around.

"I didn't say anything-"

"We're going to Stark's Pond." Craig said before starting to walk off. The three friends quickly followed behind.

" In the rain, dude?"

"Yes in the rain, now stop talking to me."

"Alright, dude... alright..."

"Have you ever been to Stark's Pond, Tweek?" Clyde asks, looking up at his blonde friend, who shrugs.

"Uh... no??? I've only been here for a day." Tweek responded, glancing away.

"As well as (Y/N)?" Clyde asks once more, watching as Tweek nodded his head.

"You both started school the same day you moved here?"

"Yes?"

"Huh." Token turned back around, watching Craig carefully to make sure he was alright.

"Wait, so, your friend moved here as well? Are you, like, step-siblings or something?" Clyde asks, wanting to know more about the missing female.

"Um....Sure?"

"Oh, cool..." Clyde stated before looking forward. A couple minutes went by and it still held that awkward silence, and it annoyed Clyde TO DEATH!

"WOW! This is boring! Maybe I'll just see you guys later–" Clyde takes a couple steps back, but stops when Token speaks up.

"I dunno if right now is the best time to split up, Clyde. We all saw what happened back there." Token mumbled, glancing back at the brunette, who could only frown. The soon stopped, realizing Craig was just standing still now.

"I think I need to sit down." Craig muttered to himself, finding a stump to sit on.

"Dude, seriously, are you gonna be okay?" Thomas asked, but sighed when his question was answered with silence. "Have you ever seen Craig like this before, Clyde?"

"If you haven't, I haven't, dude." Clyde shrugged, staring at Craig's back.

"Is he sick? I don't wanna get sick on my first day here, man!" Tweek stated, taking a step back.

"No, I don't think he's sick. I think something's bothering him." Token explained, making Tweek look up at him in relief.

"Well yeah, didn't Pip say he like, summoned a portal to hell in his own bedroom or something?" Clyde asked, raising a brow at Token, who hummed.

"Dude, how could Craig have done that? He's Craig."

"Maybe... maybe he did something with the ouija board. You know how creepy it was getting last night." Token sighed as he listened to Clyde.

"Ouija boards aren't that dangerous, dude. And we were using it the right way, there's no way he could have done something like that..." Token explained, crossing his arms.

"I dunno man...We all left after things got weird..." Clyde stated, leaving Token to go silent as he rethought Clyde's words. He then looked over at Tweek, thinking.

"So... Tweek. Like... I really don't wanna make things weird on your first day..." Token trailed off, not knowing how to say what he was trying to explain.

"I MEAN! Isn't think already kind of weird?????? Hhh?????????" Tweek asked, clutching onto his shirt.

"Yeah but, like. Okay so, earlier today Craig was all paranoid, which totally isn't like him. And he was talking about how you were a demon and of course, I thought that was stupid." token finally began, but was soon interrupted by Tweek, who had seemed to be a tiny bit angrier than before.

"It IS stupid, man!"

"Yeah man, for sure. But... After we saw... I mean... After what we saw, I'm kinda having weird conflicting thoughts." Token finishes, looking up at Tweek once more.

"Wh... what are you saying, man?" Tweek asks, glancing between the two in front of him, getting worried.

"Well...Are you?"

"Aw man, please don't be a demon, dude. You're like, really cool. Or is it okay to be a demon if you're cool? Haha h ha h I mean I wouldn't mind if you're a demon, as long as you don't, like, kill me or anything." Clyde started freaking out, leaving Token trying to calm him down, and Tweek to get even angrier.

"I'm– I'm not a demon, j-jesus christ!" Both Token and Clyde looked shocked at Tweek's outburst, but Clyde took a step back, trying to calm himself down.

"I didn't say you were, I just–"

"You obviously thought it! Why are you guys ganging up on me, I don't even know you!" Tweek exclaimed even more, watching as Token tried to calm him down now.

"We're not trying to be mean, bro! Trust me!" Clyde tried to intervene, standing beside Token once more.

"Craig's acting weird, you're new here, and we just saw a demon! Can't you see why we'd be at least a little skeptical???" Token asks, only to get even more yelling in return.

"No, man! I saw the same shit as you did, and I ran away from the same shit as you did! Don't fucking freak me out this!!! HhhgfhjfhhgjhgfhjfgjfhjhH!!!!" Tweek exclaimed, crossing his arms.

"Okay, okay, it's okay-"

While the three were yelling among themselves, Craig sat alone, realizing that his mouth was moving, but...he wasn't talking? He wasn't trying to move it?

"Why is my mouth moving...I'm not talking!" Craig muttered to himself, panicking even more.

"I just wanna make sure we're all safe, okay?" Token reassured, smiling a bit at the twitching blonde.

"I've only known you for a few hours, bro, and I already think you're cool. I wouldn't care if you were a demon, I promise!" Tweek growled at Clyde, making the shorter teen flinch back.

"WELL GOOD, CAUSE I'M NOT!!"

"Clyde, come on, I think he's had enough." Token muttered, sending Clyde a look.

"I know, I'm sorry..." Clyde apologized quietly, glancing away.

"Let's all just calm down, okay?" Token looked at Tweek, but soon noticed that he wasn't calming down.

"How can I calm down when I'm in the middle of a place I don't know, drenched in the middle of a fucking storm! AFTER THAT GUY AT SCHOOL JUST APPEARED???" Tweek yelled, stepping closer to Token.

"We can talk it out, it'll be okay!–" Token exclaimed, looking over at Clyde for help.

"Yeah man, we're in this together, right? And hypothetically, if you were a demon, not saying you are bro, it'd–" Clyde started, but shut up once he heard Craig groaning behind him.

"SHUT UP! CAN ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT UP?! JESUS CHRIST!!!" Craig yelled out, clutching to his head, earning concerned looks from the three friends behind him.

"Craig??? Dude, we weren't even talking that loud." Token stated, watching as Craig continued to clutch onto his head

"Yo man... are you gonna be okay?" Clyde asks, but was only met with silence. "Craig, bro?" Still silence. "Dawg?" Yup, even more silence. "Broseph-"

"Clyde." Token said, glaring slightly at Clyde, who flinched back, shutting up. The four didn't notice the two figures jumping from the trees and down right behind them.

"Everything is... it's... so loud..." Craig muttered to himself.

"Are you, like. Having a panic attack or s–" Token tried ask, but Craig cut him off before he could finish.

"Oh god. Oh god we're not alone. We're still not alone!" Craig started to get louder with his speech, scaring Clyde just a bit.

"You're freaking me out, dude, you're not like this." Clyde said, staring at his BFF in fear, but also concern.

"We're not alone and there's someone- No! There's TWO people right behind us!" Craig exclaimed, shaking. Token and Clyde walked over to try and calm their friend down. "Stop looking at me!"

"Dude, you're freaking out!" Token stated, standing beside Craig.

"We just wanna help..." Clyde mumbled, standing on the other side of Craig.

"If you want to help then just listen!!!!" Craig exclaimed once again, earning a sigh from Token.

"Dude, we are listening. You just keep telling us to shut up!" Token exclaimed, getting a bit angry.

"Look at you all. Squawking and floundering about..." A British voice rang out, making the group of four freeze in place. Tweek felt someone place their hand onto his shoulder, but then felt the other stand beside him. Craig, Token, and Clyde all turned around, staring at the three before them. "You've spent all of this time stressing out over your own mistakes. And you barely even know what you did!"

"Who... Who does that sound like. I know that voice." Token muttered, staring at the two shadowy figures standing beside Tweek.

"Are we gonna get murdered...? I don't wanna die..." Clyde whimpered, taking a step back.

"Ohohoh, that's rich. You really think you're the center of all of this? You really think we're here to kill you? Well... I'm not here for that, at least. Not for you, anyway." The male figure leaned over Tweek, grinning. The female, who they still coudln't see very well due to the shadows luring over her, just stared at them with her Maroon eyes. "You've created a problem far beyond your control."

"Dude...Dude is that..." Clyde tried asking Token, but soon went silent, too scared to say anything else.

"Tweek, dear." The three humans froze as the female finally said something, now realizing who the female was.

"(Y/N)?" Token asks himself, getting into more shock. Craig just stared in fear, remembering how (Y/N)'s voice was from the night before, exactly like this.

"What are you doing? (Y/N) came to me and said that you are you trying to befriend them?" The male asked sweetly, slightly glaring down at the twitching male.

"G... go away..." Tweek muttered, glaring at (Y/N) for tattle tailing.

"Oh...Oh, this is so cute...Is that why you came through first? You just wanted friends?" The male asked again, raising a brow, but the smile never left his face, even when Tweek tried to get them to leave.

"Well I'm sorry, some of us are here for a much greater reason." The male stated. Tweek went to say something before tensing up as (Y/N) put her hand on Tweek's other shoulder, giving a look that showed no emotion.

"It's time to stop hiding."

#hell park #craig tucker #clyde donovan #token black #tweek tweak #reader insert

15 notes · View notes

clydesballapaloozaextravaganza · 6 years ago

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TICKER: Do I even know Tweek?

TICKER: I don’t really know that many s-SHIT-- kids in town, I’m home-schooled.

TICKER: But I think you’re talking about that one twitchy guy that works at the coffee shop, right?

TICKER: I go there sometimes, and sometimes if the shop is nn-FUCK busy, h-he’ll go around serving people personally.

TICKER: So we’ve talked once or twice, I guess.

TICKER: I-- SHIT-- I don’t think he likes me very much...

TICKER: It’s whatever cause he’s too freaked out by everything I c-coCK-- do.

TICKER: It’s fucking embarrassing when people overreact when they’re around me...

TICKER: One time he acted like a fuCKING SHIT-- ...a-asshole.

TICKER: He got scared, accidentally spilled something on me, and I got over it pretty quickly.

TICKER: B-but he started yelling at me for scaring him and told me to get out of the shop!

TICKER: ...Before I could tell him s-sHIt that it was an accident.

TICKER: But whatever, I guess.

TICKER: I’m used to it...

TICKER: I just hope that ngG-- FUCK-- SHIT- C-COCK--

SUPER CRAIG: Ehehehe.

SUPER CRAIG: Hey, is there a mic picking us up?

SUPER CRAIG: Oh wait yeah there is I forgot.

SUPER CRAIG: Thomas is that you?

TICKER: Aw shit-- g-god dammit...

TICKER: I almost forgot Craig’s here... s-sHIT.

SUPER CRAIG: Aw man, how come nobody told me you were here?

TICKER: O-oh, god...

SUPER CRAIG: Hey Thomas.

TICKER: It’s... it’s The Ticker.

SUPER CRAIG: Oh okay.

SUPER CRAIG: Hey Ticker.

TICKER: ...Hi...? C-COCK-- aw FUCK!

SUPER CRAIG: Ehehehehehe...

SUPER CRAIG: What’s going on, man, we haven’t hung out in a while.

TICKER: Um. I dunno. I don’t think you ever answered my last text?

SUPER CRAIG: Oh, sorry, I’ll check it when I get my phone back.

TICKER: A-alright, I guess-- a-ASSHOLE.

SUPER CRAIG: Wow...

SUPER CRAIG: Hey, have I ever told you how cool you are?

TICKER: L-like... every time we hang out, yeah.

SUPER CRAIG: You’re just... I dunno.

SUPER CRAIG: You’re super cool.

TICKER: I’m, um, flattered, but we’re playing super villains right now, dude...

TICKER: I shouldn’t be b- fffFUCK!! Nnh-- I shouldn’t be buddying it up with you.

SUPER CRAIG: Alright, well we should totally hang out like, tomorrow after school or something.

TICKER: U-um! Sure, I--

WONDER TWEEK: HEY!

TICKER: ???

TICKER: Oh-- Oh wait, Tweek’s here???

TICKER: Oh God, I shouldn’t have said s-SHIT!

SUPER CRAIG: No don’t worry he doesn’t even check the blog anyways.

WONDER TWEEK: STOP CHATTING HIM UP, ASSHOLE!

TICKER: He talked to me first a-ASSHOLE-- s-shit, sorry--

WONDER TWEEK: HHH! OH MY GOD!

WONDER TWEEK: I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE SORRY, WE’RE PLAYING SUPER HEROES, IF YOU’RE GONNA BE A VILLAIN FUCKING ACT LIKE IT HTHGHHGHGFHFGHGFHHFHH

WONDER TWEEK: YOU’RE SO LUCKY I DIDN’T CHARGE YOU FOR THAT FUCKING SUNDAE, FUCKING CUSSING ME OUT THEN AND CUSSING ME OUT NOW, WHO THE HGHHFHGHHJFHSJGHJHJHJ WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE???

WONDER TWEEK: I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS FUCKING DAY NOTHING’S GOING RIGHT AND NOW, THIS FUCKINHHHG HHFHHFGD BGFBGBBHGFHFHGHHJSDJFKSHJDF&*#*&#&*&*Y#F*Y&#F**!!!!!@@!

TICKER: ,

#south park #sp thomas #tweek tweak #craig tucker #sp creek #super craig #wonder tweek #c

3K notes · View notes

spongeguyandlelouchvibridankia · 5 years ago

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SpongeGuy Reviews Every Disney Sitcom!: K.C. Undercover (1.1): “Pilot”

Yeah guys these have been really slow this week, I know. But hey, at least now we know that Zendaya’s back hurts from carrying this show!

K.C. Undercover is what you get when you want live action Kim Possible but you don’t want to actually try, and you also don’t understand that Kim Possible wasn’t just jokes and main character does awesome thing.

I guess the Kim Possible DTV movie is also what you get when you want live action Kim Possible but you do what I wrote above.

The show focuses on K.C. Cooper (played by the always great, even here, Zendaya) and her life as a spy, just like her parents (OH BOI WILL WE GET TO THEM) and after an episode her brother Ernie. There’s also a robot sister who’s annoying and is there for no real reason after episode 1 because OF COURSE.

But we are not talking about her, we are talking about the pilot for this show, and well... I am very disappointed. Let’s just get this over with.

SUMMERY: During her first undercover assignment as a spy, K.C. Cooper gets ready for her first mission. Her parents, Kira and Craig Cooper, are also spies. However, her younger brother, Ernie Cooper, is unaware about K.C. and her parents being a spy, and her best friend Marisa is also unaware about her best friend's secret life. For her first assignment, K.C. is supposed to catch another teenage spy and crack down the code that is used for a dangerous virus. Unfortunately for her, K.C.'s first mission is also on the night of her high school dance, and she is challenged on whether to go through with her mission or go skip the mission and go to her school dance.

COMEDY: 1 Out of 5

It’s hard to find different ways to say “This wasn’t funny”, especially when such things are subjective. But I think a way to make it clear why this one isn’t funny is that for a spy sitcom, they barely make SPY JOKES.

This is a SPY SITCOM. CLEARLY inspired by KIM POSSIBLE. And they make almost no SPY JOKES. Sure, you have your disguises at one point, your mission impossible “sequence”, your weird gadget or two, but those are treated more as props than jokes.

No, the jokes here are, you guessed it: Stock sitcom jokes. With the added flair of ASSHOLES.

I’ll talk more about this in Characters, but suffice to say that most of the jokes in this show are about what assholes everyone but K.C. are. (I understood K.C. gets like this too, but so far she’s the only one I like here).

If you haven’t seen a joke before you’re just cringing at how mean the cast is to each other. And I think it’s best I just move to the next section to talk about that because that’s the main problem with this show.

CHARACTERS: 2 Out of 5

I guess it’s kinda funny that the main problem with this show has a point more than comedy, but whatever. K.C. Undercover is a family sitcom with a coat of spy paint over it, and the problems start when you realize what it’s trying to be and how it’s failing at it. Zendaya tweeted before the show’s release that she wanted K.C. Undercover to be like the Disney Channel of Old: That’s So Raven, Lizzie McGuire, Kim Possible, Proud Family. Well, here’s the thing: those shows (that i’ve seen at least, or that I know enough about to be able to tell) had sass, had characters being jerks, and had sitcom type jokes and behaviors, but they had a premise and they stuck to it, AND those characters were likable in the end (even though Proud Family has some problems with that).

Unfortunately, K.C. Undercover is anything but. Every single character outside of K.C. is an unlikable douchbag who the moment you think for a second about their words and actions becomes terrifying.

Well, that’s unfair. See, there’s Ernie, K.C’s brother, and he’s not an asshole. His role, however, is one of the most tired cliche’s in the book: Punching bag. To an extent that’s truly depressing. We’ve covered some pretty bad parents so far in these reviews, and Davenport from “Lab Rats” still is my least favorite, but giving him stiff competition are Craig and Kira Cooper. Everything they do is either not funny, old hat, or absolutely horrible! Playing favorites is bad enough as a joke, but the extents the show goes to make this “funny” only heighten the horror! They forget to drive Ernie from school because they can’t recognize his number. They blatently declare K.C. to be their favorite. They wipe his mind so he won’t know the family are spies, which also wipes out the one time he’s ever felt good about himself. They are totally fine with sending their daughter into a dangerous mission, and when she understandably asks not to do it, they’re disappointed in her because they are the only ones who see her potential!

AND THAT’S WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT MARISSA, K.C.’S BEST FRIEND! While she is less horrible, she still sucks ball! Her whole role is to be the ditzy blonde who tries to turn K.C. into a “Real Woman”. Now, Zendaya is sort of typecast as a nerd/outcast, so I guess it makes sense that she would have a friend try to make her more... Outgoing. But hearing her say things like “She’s a girl!” when K.C. wants to go to the dance, or saying that she’s happy this antisocial loner is no longer the way she is makes you wonder: How the fuck are they best friends if all she wants to do is change her?

Thankfully K.C. doesn’t listen to her. In fact, K.C. (or should I say Zendaya) is the only one here with a shred of comedy (I pity Ernie, but he’s a meh character). Zendaya’s genuine reactions that feel real even when you know they are scripted (like laughing at a silent but deadly fart weapon she has or trying to be girly) add so much to the show. You can tell she’s trying her best, and you can tell she’s carrying the show on her own. The only one with acting chops, comedic talent, anything. Easily the one thing this show has.

So we have bullshit characters who are somehow worse than the usual disney channel stock characters, comedy that sucks, what else can go wrong?

STORY AND HEART: 1 Out of 5

Oh yeah, this can go wrong too. The pilot of the show is all about how K.C. became a spy, starting off with perhaps the only good scene in the show: A cold open showcasing K.C. kicking a bad guy’s ass and being a cool spy. That’s actually pretty great! It’s a homage to the genre, and it’s a good way to set the stage for a “K.C. should believe in herself” story.

But here’s the thing: The story shoots itself in the foot. Teens being superheroes and spies and stuff is a hard subject to dangle, especially in a post Steven Universe Future world which very rightly showed that a character this young would have SO MUCH trauma. Of course, some find ways to deal with it cleverly (Spider-Man stories never shy away from how fucked up Peter’s life is) and you don’t HAVE to deal with it to make a good show (i.e Kim Possible), but there’s ignoring it so that the show can be fun and then there’s maximizing on how bad it is and saying laugh, or worse, that’s it’s ok.

Look, the show repeatedly tells me K.C. is extraordinary, smart, tough. And she IS, don’t get me wrong. But seeing her parents, two people who surely want her safe, be disappointed that she doesn’t want to fail this mission, because well she’s not good enough is horrible! The show claims only a teen could get the phone in the dance, but that’s just bullshit. A custodian clearly spies for the “bad guys”, and adult chaperons exist. Heck, all this tech and no one has facial software to look like a kid? WHY AM I ASKING THESE QUESTIONS?

I normally LOVE Characters learning to be confident stories, and thankfully K.C. doesn’t need to change herself for that, but... Like... I shouldn’t be thinking of how horrible the implications are in a fun spy show for kids.

Add that absoulute hate for Ernie and just a totaly lag of a story that could be fun if it weren’t for everyone else, and the only point goes to K.C. again for keeping me sane while watching this.

FINAL SCORE: 4 Out of 15

Bunk’d and Dog With A Blog, with all their falings, were better than this. Think about that.

Next time we have The Buzz On Maggie, the long awaited New Adventures of Winnie The Pooh review and...

Hannah... Montana...

(”Megalovania” plays)

...Oh SHIT. (For the record, I used to hate it for how overexposed it was and I have no idea if I’ll love it or hate it)..

https://docs.google.com/document/d/100qHOP9aQ1AmKbrYuc--CQAP3LQnHfsS/edit

#disney #disney sitcoms #disney channel #zendaya #k.c. undercover #review every disney show #spongeguy

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lordjenjen-writes-trash · 6 years ago

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Craig gets bullied

Written in response to an ask on another blog of mine.

Craig puffed air into his cheeks and lips to keep them from touching his teeth. His mouth felt weird and he hated it, but he couldn't stay home again and his mom refused homeschooling. He had to go to school.

The good news for him was as long as he didn't smile, talk, or eat, no one would ever know he had to get braces.

The bus rolled to a stop and Craig got off, not saying a word to anyone. He was caught at the front doors by Jimmy and Clyde but still managed to say nothing. Books in his locker, Craig turned to go to class.

“Hey, Craig.”

Craig turned towards Jimmy.

“My s-s-sister went on a date with a cannibal to a Russell Crow movie last week.”

Craig glared at his friend. He didn't have a sister. What was his deal?

“Gladiator?” Clyde asked, completely clueless to the fact Jimmy didn't actually have a sister.

“No. I wish he didn't.”

Craig stared at Jimmy a moment before it hit him. He cracked a smile before remembering his braces and frowned.

“It's true! Your sister said you got braces and were being a bitch about it.”

“I wish a cannibal ate her.”

Clyde slung an arm around his shoulders. “Don't worry about it. No one cares.”

“Yeah I guess-”

A loud and obnoxious laugh made Craig instantly eat his agreement. In front of him stood Cartman, holding himself up on a locker as he laughed.

“You got braces! You can't eat dick anymore!”

Craig sighed. This is why he wanted no one to know. Cartman would be relentless in his taunting and teasing. Most of his taunts weren't very good. But Craig knew how Cartman could really drive something into the ground and if Butters thought it would make people like him more, he'd jump on it too.

“You see this, Tweek!? Craig got braces! Ah-ha-ha! You're going to get your dick cut up!”

“Jesus Christ man! We're only 13! Only Kenny does blow jobs!”

Craig heard a muffled “hey!” from behind him, but they all knew it was true. Kenny was keen on getting blowjob's and giving them for money sometimes.

“Yeah. But still. He's going to be stuck with braces for years. And that means you guys can't have any kind of sex. Not even kiss or else his braces will rip your skin to shreds.”

“Is that true?”

Craig didn't want to tell Tweek he'd accidentally gotten his lip caught in his braces. He didn't want his boyfriend to think Cartman was right. So he shrugged and shook his head. This for some reason only caused Cartman to laugh again.

“Tweek's hair is going to get caught! They are going to have use the jaws of life to free him!”

“Craig got braces!?” He heard Butters annoying voice laugh. “Metal mouth!”

“Metal mouth!” Cartman echoed and laughed harder.

Craig had to put a stop to this sooner rather than later. He just looked at Tweek, silently apologizing for breaking his “no starting fights, promise, before raising his right hand and punching Cartman in the gut. Instantly the laughing stopped as Cartman doubled over and threw up his breakfast.

All noise stopped except for the sound of Cartman gagging on the floor.

“Who else wants to say something about my braces?”

Not even Butters said a word, but then again, no one really liked Cartman. Craig grabbed Tweek's hand and made his way to first period. He still couldn't believe he had to have braces. It was one of the worst things to happen to him, and he was counting Peru. It would be hell if he couldn't make out with Tweek. He'd have to Google that later.

#south park #creek #craig tucker #tweek tweak #clyde donavan #jimmy valmer #eric cartman #butters stotch #kenny mccormick #sp creek

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cheekymochiiii · 6 years ago

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100 Year’s Quest Chapter 18-20 Tea Time

*camera pans to me sleeping on loveseat only to be woken up by my producer throwing a mug at my face*

Me: Mother*beep*! damn it Craig you *beep*! throw that at my mother *beep* face again and I’ll cut your *beep* off and shove it up your—

*screen displays message that says: please stand by*

*screen returns and shows me sitting with my cup of tea cool as a cucmber*

Me: *clears throat* Sorry about that. I haven’t been getting much sleep lately and as a result I’ve been *says through gritted teeth while glaring at Craig* very irritable.*relaxes* I realize I haven’t aired any shows since Chapter 17, but if you haven’t read the new chapter of Fairy Tail’s 100 Year Quest then that is your fault and I’m not bothering to put a spoiler warning right now. Despite my doubts to having a guest on today’s tea time, production—I mean I thought it would be best to have one anyway. Today we’ve got someone who is on Team Natsu and has had a front row seat to all the exciting *beep* that’s been happening in chapters 18-20.

Me: *gesutres to side of stage* Please audience give a warm welcome to the little braveheart Wendy Marvell!

Wendy: *walks in waving with her cute smile* Hi everyone it’s good to see you all!

Me: *admiring her adorable innocence and then remembers I have a show to shoot * Thank you so much for coming on the show Wendy it means the world to me.

Wendy: Well I heard from Panther Lily and Carla that you’re really...*hesitates to find right word* passionate.

Me: Awe that is a very accurate word to describe me, especially considering I’m a Pisces but sometimes I’m an Aquarius. It depends which website you read but for the most part I identify myself as a Pisces more than an Aquarius.

Wendy: *confused* you don’t look like two fish to me or like the terrifying Aquarius I know.

Me: *laughs at her innocence* actually Wendy here in my world our zodiac signs are given to us based on the month and day we are born in. Each zodiac is given a season in the year.

Wendy: then what happens?

Me: absolutely nothing. zodiacs are basically there just to make excuses for ourselves and how we act.

Wendy: so it’s like...alcohol?

Me: *considers this and shrugs* I mean you’re not wrong. Anyway we’re getting way off topic. Let’s focus back on what’s been happening in your world or at least in chapters 18-20. Most of these chapters were pretty *beep* short so there’s that but I’ll take whatever dose of Fairy Tail I can get.

*production tells me in my ear piece I need to stop cursing due to Tumblr restrictions and reminds me I could get flagged for being inappropriate again*

Me: *states outloud* that’s what the beeps are for you mother *beeps*

*production slaps forehead*

Me: Sorry for that interruption Wendy. My producers are being a bunch of *beep*

Wendy: *stunned at language*

Me: *continues casually* I’m not going to focus too much on Chapter 18 because I’ve already briefly talked about it in my last show. I want to give a simple summary of it. For starters I want to talk about you Wendy and what a bad *beep* you were for being able to find a spell that allowed the non-dragon slayers of Team Natsu to actually do some harm to the dragons y’all will be fighting. Naturally, I’m curious about how obtained this spell but I’m assuming you nor the creators will be willing to share that information with me.

Wendy: *genuine tone* I’m really sorry but I can’t share that.

Me: Coming from you, I’m okay with it. So Team Natsu is officially in the battle with the Water God Dragon and boy are y’all struggling. He’s just really letting y’all have it with his magic and this is still only the first dragon y’all have to defeat for this quest.

Wendy: This Quest will definitely be the hardest one I’ve ever had to do.

Me: You guys have been through so much you barely got a breather.

Wendy: I like the adventures with my friends though. It makes my life more full.

Me: Awe

Audience: Awe

Readers: Awe

Me: You are so precious Wendy and you need to be protected at all times. I’m getting off topic again. Chapter 18. Team Natsu. Battle with Water God Dragon. *stops short statements* I mean, that’s basically it. *remmebers* oh yeah Touka defeated all of your guild mates back in Magnolia.

Wendy: I know I was worried about them too. I still am since you guys haven’t figured out what happens.

Me: *waves and says nonchalantly* I’m sure by the next chapter we will. *wonders internally have I been spelling Touka’s name wrong this whole time?*

Wendy: What makes your so sure?

Me: We’ve been focused a lot on Team Natsu these last few chapters, so I’m going to assume with the screaming-into-pillow ending the creators gave us. The scenery will most likely change come next chapter. Anyway, now it’s Chapter 19 and we are still worried about the favorite team in the world, Team Natsu. Y’all are putting up a good fight but it’s not doing much good. In fact, Natsu tries very hard with all kinds of new and secret spells he’s been holding back from us to defeat the Water God Dragon. However, it nearly becomes too much for our favorite pink haired weirdo hero and he begins to be sucked up into a deadly looking whirlpool created by the Water God Dragon.

Wendy: *nods at the memory* I remember. We were all worried about what was going to happen to Natsu.

Me: *sideglances* even Lucy?

Wendy: *doesnt get what I’m hinting at* yes of course she’s always worried about Natsu on missions and if he might get hurt. Natsu too. They both want to protect each other.

Me: *grinning* most interesting *sips tea* Natsu nearly gets sucked into the whirlpool when ta-dah! *makes spirit fingers* a scaley hand snatched Natsu from it. I had a strong feeling from that ending that the hand was extremely reminiscent of a certain dragon we all love...loved.

Wendy: *nods solemnly* Natsu’s father Igneel. All of us lost our parents that day too unfortunately but not in the same way Natsu lost his tragically.

Me: *trying not to cry* I hear that *sniffles* so that’s how we are left in Chapter 19 those bastard creators. *pauses* hey why wasn’t that bleeped?

*production informs me that bastard isn’t that bad of a word compared to the ones I had been using and reminds audience that this show is for mature audiences only despite the bleeped out words because beeping everything is a struggle for the editing team*

Me: okay now it’s on to the most recent update, Chapter 20. We find out that scaley hand that rescued Natsu is indeed a dragon! We, being the readers, also notice how incredibly and unmistakingly similar this dragon and Igneel look.

Wendy: We were all honestly terrified when this dragon revealed himself. We didn’t know whether he was there to help or hurt us.

Me: Understandable I mean look at that thing. However we find out he’s mostly there to motivate Natsu to defeat the Water God Dragon and ultimately decides the best way to help Natsu is to set the fish city on fire using its own fire. While this seemed discouraging the dragon wants Natsu to consume the fire so it will help him defeat the Water God Dragon. The dragon also says he wants to fight Natsu at his best himself. So why does this mysterious Igneel-looking dragon want to help Natsu and also fight and defeat Natsu? Well that’s what the big reveal of this chapter was.

Me: *takes dramatic pause*

Wendy: *smiles knowingly*

Audience: *holds breath*

Readers: *yawns*

Me: *SHOUTS* ITS IGNEEL’S MOTHER *BEEP* SON YALL. *STANDS UP CAUSING TEA TO SPILL* HIS “TRUE” SON. AND BOIIIIII I’D BE LYIN IF I SAID THAT BOI AINT FINE BECAUSE HE IS ONE GOOD LOOKIN DUDE. I MEAN DO YALL SEE THOSE TATTOOS?!? ALSO WHAT THE *BEEP* DOES THIS MEAN? HES A FIRE GOD DRAGON! HO-LY HELL

Wendy: *nervously sips her tea and realizes why Panther Lily and Carla called Me intense*

Me: *still raging* I JUST CANT BELIEVE IT! I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING AND IVE GOT A FEELING ITS GONNA BE GOOD *relaxes and sits back down* Just wow Wendy I cant wait for what this Quest has in store for us because we are only 20 chapters in and it’s been ridiculous.

Wendy: *still smiling* I know it’s an exciting quest and adventure that truly tests the feelings, will, and strength of our team.

Me: *tearing up* I can only imagine. I can’t wait to get to the end of this long and winding road but I also want it to last forever because I don’t want Fairy Tail to end.

Wendy: *stunned* what do you mean, end?

Me: *saddened* we originally weren’t going to find out what happened to y’all on the 100 Year’s Quest but then, thanks to this super cool and awesome fandom, we were able to push the creators to continue the manga.

Wendy: Wow we really owe a lot to our fandom then

Me: *nods respectingly* yes yes we do. I know I owe a lot to my followers here on the blog, er, show.

Wendy: Why’s that?

Me: Apparently 500 people like my blog, I mean show, enough to follow me for every time I post something new. *begins meaningful speech* I couldn’t be more happy or thankful for every single one of them. I never imagined I would have this many followers because I started with 0 followers and had no connections or friends on here who already had followers and give shout outs to me, right away of course, but now people seem to like what I post and I literally couldn’t be more thankful for them. I post for them.

Wendy: *tearful* that was a really lovely speech.

Me: thanks Wendy. I suppose I should make an edit dedicated to all of them.

Wendy: that’s a nice gift and very kind of you.

Me: no *shakes head and looks off into the distance* how kind of them.

To be continued...

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ruckusheaven · 6 years ago

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A Coon In A Colorful Heaven- Chapter 2: “Forever is a Mighty Long Time...”

Coon- A black person who is ignorant to white discrimination and unknowingly suffers with self hatred

This chapter continues to follow the eternal story of a man named Damien. When we last saw Damien he had awoken in his own Hell awaiting Judgment. Damien was being judged by his own personal Angel named “Angie”, as she read off a list of his sins that were condemning him to hell; in hopes of having him understand and accept his fate. But during Damien’s judgement Angie saw something “interesting” withing his conflictions. Was it Hope? Confusions? Or maybe she Pitied the poor soul? Regardless of what Angie saw, Damien would soon come to realize that even in Heaven you can still create your own Hell; and that spirits that belong in Heaven, Stay in Heaven...

*A Bright Light Crashed down, dissipating leaving Damien laying on his back*

Damien: *sitting up, rubbing his head* ow that...hurt?

Damien: You can still feel pain in Heaven? I thought in Heaven you couldn’t feel anything ba- *deep gasp*

As Damien looked up he had saw a Realm that many had and still Dream of, yet all are completely wrong. Heaven.. a Realm made of pure imagination. Shapes and Buildings. Clouds and Water. Animals and Tress. Some Buildings that look old and familiar. Some buildings that look..Impossible. Colors of different shades and hues, but somehow all perfectly harmonized. People Flying through the sky and walking around. Some wearing familiar clothes, some wearing nothing at all..

Damien: *eyes start to water* This place is... this place is-

???: Paradise right?

Damien: *looking up* Angie!?

Angie: Hola

Damien: *standing up* What are you doing here?? Are you like my Guardian Angel or something?

Angie: Oh no not at all! that’s a whole nother headache that i’m no longer apart of.

Angie: I’m just here as a guide of sorts

Damien: A guide?

Angie: Yep! as you can see Heaven is literally an endless place of space and possibilities. Souls are scattered all over the place

Angie: Some in places that are highly populated. Some in personal “Zones” or area’s unknown to everyone but them.

Angie: Heaven is a big place, so Angels like me are here to help you find what you’re looking for first, like families and friends or maybe help create your own zone.

*A few feet away from Angie and Damien, another soul crashes down and is greeted with a huge crowd of family and friends*

Damien: wow what a huge family.. why wasn’t anyone waiting for me?

Angie: Ehh... let’s just say that you being here is a surprise,, a very uncommon one.

Damien: *takes a deep breath* wow.. really..

Angie: Yea.. but listen that’s kind of why you’re here anyways. See the reason i-

Damien: Listen you don’t have to explain... i think i get it.

Angie: Do you really?

Damien: Yea... i’m the first of my bloodline to make it into Heaven and it’s kinda big deal.

Angie:

Angie: Boy are you dumb or retarded!? Do you know how huge your bloodline is and continues to be!?!

Angie: And you think that out of the MILLIONS before you, that you’re the first to make it!?

Damien: I mean yea kinda..

Damien: Look im not dumb enough to think that my Ancestors in the B.C time didn’t make it. But from what i can remember about most of my personal family.. most weren’t great people and not enough donated blood to make it into Heaven like i did.

Angie: You’re just so...

Angie: You know what. How about i just take you to their sector, so you can see for yourself. This was kinda the point in the first place.

Damien: We have our own sector??

Angie: Yup and they’ll be more than surprised to see you. I’m very excited to see the upcoming results

Damien: Results? what are you-

*A Bright Light crashes down on Damien, Taking him up to his family’s sector*

Angie: Now what will it be Damien, Peace or Silence?...

*A Bright Light crashes down leaving Damien on his feet*

Damien: -doing here?..

Damien: Angie? *looking left and right* Angie!?

A Young Girl Walking in a distance: I recognize that voice.. i know... i know they didn’t

Damien: *looks and sees the young girl* Hey excuse me can you help me out!?

The Young Girl in the Distance: OOOO! Pam and Craig are gonna flip on this one *A Bright Light crashes down taking her away*

Damien: What in the hell was that about?..

Damien: *walking around* wooow, this place is beautiful

Damien: I can’t believe my bloodline has its own sector. Everything looks different but at the same time familiar.. and there’s so many people here.

Damien: *looks around* aye, aye! Aunt Veronica, Aye it’s me

Aunt Veronica: *Flying by*

Damien: Dam... maybe she didn’t hear me.. she was pretty high up..

Damien: If she’s here i wonder who else is.. *walking around* this place is really beautiful

Damien: omg is that... AYE, AYE! Uncle Lennard, AYE its me man!

Uncle Lennard: *sitting on a bench* aw hell, they done let this negro in

Damien: *walks up* aye uncle, man im so glad to see you here

Uncle Lennard: hey Damien... so they let you in huh...

Damien: Yea man, but to be honest i barely got in. Shawty at the gate said that thanks to my blood donation i saved a few hundred people, so it kinda balanced out everything.

Uncle Lennard: well ain’t that bout a bitch

Damien: Huh?

Uncle Lennard: nothin.. it’s nothin nephew.. *stands up* good to see ya.. *walks off*

Damien: Dam what was that about??

Damien: *walking around* i wonder what was up with Unc just now..

*An All White with Gold Trim Cadillac pulls up next to him*

Damien: *looks up* OMG!!! UNCLE CRAIG!!

Uncle Craig: *looks over* aww hell naw, no they didn’t!

Damien: Uncle Craig its me. What up baby!

Uncle Craig: Yea i see you nigga, they just lettin anyone in now huh?

Damien: Whatchu mean?

Uncle Craig: Aye, All Lives Matter i guess huh

Damien: All lives matter…. *Thinks*

Damien: *flashes back to him tweeting all lives matter against black protest*

Damien: *makes a deep gasp*

Uncle Craig: uh huh, you done fucked up big time nephew

Damien: look that was back in the past. i ain’t-

Uncle Craig: and don’t think we ain’t see those post you made talking mess about dark skin women and what happened between you and Lexis

Damien: ooo wait till yo great ancestors see yo ass *skirrrts off*

Damien:

Damien: *panicking to himself* what the fuck! were they all watching me this whole time…

Damien: *his heart starts to pound fast* no way. no way. no fucking way

Damien: If Uncle Craig is here… then the chances of Aunt Pam being here is-

*A Bright Light crashes down leaving behind The Young Girl from before and Aunt Pam*

The Young Girl: Mmhmm there he is Aunt Pam *points at Damien*

Aunt Pam: You got alot of God damn nerve showing up here! *marches towards Damien*

Damien: Look Aunt Pam i-

Aunt Pam:

Damien: *stumbles back, holding his cheek in shock* that.. really hurt.. alot?

Aunt Pam: GOOD! it was suppose to and i got more where that comes from! *goes to throw a punch at Damien*

*A Young Man Grabs Pams arm and pulls her back*

Young Man: CHILL! This isn’t worth anything!

Aunt Pam: *struggling and jerking around to get free* THE HELL IT IS!!

Aunt Pam: 15 years Damien! 15 years i watched over your trifling disrespectful ass going around hurting whoever and doing whatever you wanted hoping that you’d change one day

Aunt Pam: But after seeing what you did to your Wife and Daughter and the trauma you left behind damaging a whole generation to come. i refused to watch over you for a second more!!

Aunt Pam: LET GO OF ME GOD DAMMIT!

Young Man: *lets go of Pam*

Aunt Pam: You embarrassed me and this whole family! leaving others to clean up the mess you caused… so many souls lost because of you and you don’t even know it..

Aunt Pam: You should be in Hell just like your Father..

The Young Girl: oh shit..

Damien: *lifts his head up in shock* Huh?…

Aunt Pam: Just looking at you just makes me sick

Damien: *falls on his back*

Young Man: PAM!

Aunt Pam: He’ll be fine, im going back to my zone anyways *A Bright Light crashes down taking Pam away*

Damien: *slowly starts to sit up*

Young Man: *looks at The Young Girl* Can you go check on Pam and make sure she calms down

The Young Girl: Sure it might take a few thousand years but that doesn’t really matter now does it. *A Bright Light crashes down taking The Young Girl away*

Damien: not really feeling like paradise anymore…

Young Man: *looks down at Damien* I think we both know she has a right to be angry

Young Man: How did you even get in here?

Damien: Some dumb Angel said my blood donation saved lives so im here now

Damien: But to be honest if this is what i have to expect for an eternity, then i think i was better off in Hell

Young Man: *looks at Damien’s foot* Keep talking like that and you just might find yourself there

Damien: what are you talking abou- *Damien sees that his foot is starting to deteriorate just like in his judgement room*

Damien: HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK!!

Young Man: Relax you still got time.. but you’re only going to stay in Heaven if you belong in Heaven.

Young Man: So that means me and you are going to have to talk

Damien: Who the hell are you anyways!!

Young Man: *leans over and sticks his hand out to Damien* Hi my name is Chris and i’m your grandson.

THE END OF CHAPTER 2

Main Blog

#vol1 #me #my story #fiction #black tumblr #tumblr #writers on tumblr #black writers #black stories #black families #black support #black love #heaven #religion #philly

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enbouton · 6 years ago

Text

Better Call Saul Rewatch, Part 2/30: I’m A Lawyer, Not A Criminal

Mijo (Season 1, Episode 2)

Written by Vince Gilligan & Peter Gould / Directed by Michelle MacLaren

Breaking Bad liked to juxtapose food preparation with menace (particularly where Gus was concerned), but after some extreme close-ups on blood-red peppers and some vivid sound design, we pull out and see that Tuco’s just, well, cooking. In an apron, in his grandma’s kitchen. (Raymond Cruz gives more nuance to Tuco here than he had the chance to in Breaking Bad. He’s not quite as quick to anger, which actually makes him scarier, since you don’t know when he’s going to strike.)

Aside, this is such a Breaking Bad frame:

Mrs. Salamanca arrives with Cal and Lars in tow, fretting about the accident; Tuco reassures her and sends her upstairs, ominously adding “turn up the volume real loud so you can hear it”. I love the twins’ complete obliviousness to the danger they’re in. Even when Tuco pointedly asks them if the cops are coming, they don’t get it; they’re still yammering about “dollar amounts” when he picks up his abuelita’s cane.

The first half of this episode is harrowing. A situation Jimmy thought he could micromanage has spiralled out of control, and he looks sick with fear throughout, face contorting, hands trembling. He does a good job of talking Tuco down at first, only for it all to collapse like a house of cards when Lars yells that the scam was his idea. This brings us to a classic set-piece:

The desert! I missed you.

It’s a good choice not to show Nacho taking in the information about Craig and Betsy and the money they stole; it keeps our attention locked to Jimmy’s perspective. All we need to learn about Nacho at this point is that he’s smarter and more level-headed than his boss.

This scene is where we see that Jimmy really is a good advocate at a fundamental level. He reads Tuco well enough to know how to appeal to him; he deploys truths and untruths selectively for the greatest effect. When Tuco won’t budge on the issue of the twins’ punishment, he starts bargaining: what’s proportionate? What’s fair?

Giving Jimmy credit for arguing on behalf of Cal and Lars after he himself is set free would be setting the bar low, but it does demonstrate qualities that Saul Goodman must have buried pretty deep. He saves the twins’ lives, and he looks utterly disgusted with himself when he and Tuco shake hands on their “sentence”.

The whole leg-breaking/breadsticks sequence is... a lot. You get momentarily distracted by the sight of Jimmy’s maybe-date (it made me wonder about his and Kim’s past relationship; there’s obviously something between them, but he’s flirting with someone else; did they just fool around a few times, or did they actually date and then break up?) and then the snapping starts and ugh it’s just awful. Kudos to the sound design department. Please never repeat this.

It’s poignant that Jimmy, traumatised and blind drunk, ends up seeking shelter at his prickly brother’s house. Chuck seems to experience pain in his right arm just after Jimmy passes out on the couch, right before he thinks to look for Jimmy’s phone. This is an early hint at the true source of his symptoms: if it were really the electromagnetic fields, he’d have reacted as soon as Jimmy crossed the threshold, but he seems fine until he appreciates what a sorry state Jimmy is in.

The next morning, we get to see Chuck’s house in daylight for the first time. In general, the interplay of light and shadow in Chuck’s house is managed beautifully. Draped in a space blanket, Chuck passive-aggressively informs Jimmy that he’s out of milk, and then beautifully pretends not to have read the urgent care bill that fell out of Jimmy’s pocket. The whole “take off the space blanket” back-and-forth that ensues is just so well written and acted, in such an unflashy way. Underneath Jimmy’s hungover frustration is the fear that he is the reason Chuck is under the space blanket:

Jimmy: Hey, Chuck, listen. I— I know how this looks. I’m down to my last dime, and suddenly I’m paying for broken legs. But it’s not that, I swear. This represents a good thing, ultimately.

Chuck: Okay.

Jimmy: I’m not backsliding. This isn’t Slippin’ Jimmy.

Chuck: Fine.

Jimmy: Take off the space blanket, will you, please, Chuck?

Chuck: It helps.

Jimmy: Take off the space blanket. I didn’t do anything wrong.

Chuck: It has nothing to do with that. It was your phone.

Jimmy: Take off the space blanket.

Chuck: Why?

Jimmy: Take off the space blanket, Chuck. Come on. Take off the blanket.

Begrudgingly, Chuck takes it off. Jimmy goes out to find his phone, and Chuck wraps himself back up again.

Another montage! I love this one, it’s so snappy. The Baroque music is something we wouldn’t have heard on Breaking Bad. We get to see Jimmy wheeling and dealing with DDA Bill “Petty With A Prior” Oakley, subsisting on vending-machine coffee, and exchanging glances with Kim. The shot where Jimmy meets a client, walks into one courtroom, and emerges from another door with a different client is almost balletic, and the sequence of cuts between arguments in different cases (improvised by Bob Odenkirk) is especially good. Just as he did at HHM and the nail salon, he engages with the people around him, giving coffee to a deputy outside the courtroom. His suits, shirts and ties are notably subdued; James M. McGill isn’t flashy, after all.

The show takes its time integrating Mike within the plot, which is good. They could have gone full fanservice from the start, but they don’t. (The audio description track on Netflix just calls him “the parking attendant” for the first few episodes until someone finally uses his name.) You do wonder why, after the third or fourth time Mike makes Jimmy go back for more stickers, he doesn’t start double-checking his validation with the clerk. Maybe he did offscreen and she wouldn’t budge.

The sequence where Jimmy gets into his office, checks for messages, unfolds his bed, pours himself a drink and settles back before being disturbed is one of the quiet, carefully observed scenes that BCS does so well. Nothing dramatic is happening, it’s just a guy coming home from work and making himself comfortable.

The exchange in which Nacho asks Jimmy to help him rip off the Kettlemans would do little but move the plot forward were it not for Nacho’s uncomfortably accurate reading of Jimmy. Much as he protests, much as he insists that he’s sticking to the straight and narrow, much as he pretends to be only temporarily based in Mrs. Nguyen’s back room, he is seen through.

One of the tragedies of Jimmy McGill’s life is that no matter what he does, people keep telling him who and what he is and always will be: Slippin’ Jimmy, a conman, a criminal. Another one is that he keeps on proving them right.

Misc.

“Judge’s gotta see your mother. … Well, do you know anybody who looks like her? … No, an uncle won’t do it.”

Hello and goodbye to Jimmy’s shortest-lived alter ego, Special Agent Jeffrey A. Steele, FBI. I wonder if we’ll ever see him again?

This is so far the only episode of BCS directed by Michelle MacLaren, who directed some of my favourite Breaking Bad eps (Salud, Madrigal, Buried) including such #iconic scenes as the poolside cartel massacre.

Timeframe: May 25 to maybe June 5, 2002; the urgent care receipt is dated May 25th, and Jimmy wears at least nine different ties in the courthouse montage, suggesting at least two weeks of work.

The parking lot is the one at the end of 1st Street, behind the Albuquerque Convention Center; it’s not actually attached to any of the courthouses, but it is very close to them. (NB: whenever I cite a location, credit should go to Marc Valdez, who has catalogued pretty much every site used in filming BrBa and BCS on his blog.)

Music

“Boulevard of Broken Dreams” by Juan García Esquivel (1958), during the bar scene

Vivaldi’s Concerto for Strings in G Major, RV 151 (Concerto alla rustica), first movement, during the court montage

References

The Code of Hammurabi: a Babylonian legal code dating back to 1754 BCE that codified the principle of retaliatory justice. Law #196 states “if a man put out the eye of another man, his eye shall be put out” (source).

“Title 21, Schedule II through V, including Part B” refers to the United States Code Controlled Substances Act.

“It’s showtime, folks” is from All That Jazz (1979). Context, from Shmoop:

Joe Gideon is a chain-smoking, pill-popping workaholic by day and playboy by night. As a famous choreographer-director, he is physically burning out. Every morning he greets his hungover, bloodshot image in the bathroom mirror with, "It's showtime, folks!"

< PREVIOUS EPISODE: UNO > NEXT EPISODE: NACHO

#bcs rewatch #better call saul

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ddaddsimagines · 7 years ago

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I've asked a couple blogs this one before; dads react to a dadsona, who is amazing at stage makeup, practicing bruises and wounds one day, and the dads walk in and mistake them for real injuries

im mediocre at sfx and i remember once i send a picture of myself to my gf while wearing stage make up and she was like “ARE YOU OKAY??” and ill never forget that

anywho dads under the cut bc long

joseph

he walks in all happy and chipper, maybe looking at a newspaper and talking about something. you respond, just as normal and when he finally looks up he drops the newspaper and gives this shocked gasp like “oh my- oh my goodness are you okay? what happened? why aren’t you at a hospital?” and he’s freaking out because you are bleeding and his dad instincts are kicking in and you have to quickly move and show all the makeup supplies to explain and once he realizes he just. he sits down and puts his head in his hands bc he needs a second

mat

like joseph, when he walks in he wouldn’t rly notice it at first? he’d be humming to himself, looking at his phone when he sits next to you and finally he’d look up to see you? he jumps. this big muscular man would jump and probably yelp as he stands up and backs away like “hey you’re- thats-” and he’s stumbling over his words before rushing down the hallway to grab a towel and you’re stuck sitting there waiting for him to come back. when he finally does you just shake your head like “its,, makeup,,,” and he stops like “oh” and u both get to awkwardly stand there for a bit

hugo

when he sees it, the two of you would maintain eye contact for a good 10 seconds. and you don’t understand any of the emotions behind his eyes as he slowly pulls out his phone and you think hes going to take a picture of you but he’s about to dial 911 and you literally have to fight his phone out of his hand before you can explain what is actually happening- once he understands he still stares at you obviously shook from the whole situation but eventually hes like “it is. very impressive.”

brian

when he first sees it, he actually has to cover his mouth- the sight of blood, real or fake just makes his stomach flip and if its extreme sfx, he would most definitely have to leave and take a second before coming back in with a towel like “[dadsona], what happened? is that...?” and he’s the one who actually thinks to ask if its real. even when he finds out that its not real hes gotta step out of the room like “its very good but i cannot look at you rn ily”

craig

he’s seen a lot of gym injuries in his life, so obviously it wouldn’t make him sick to see it but he’d start worrying a ton?? but before he can leave to go get a first aid kit or smth, you tell him that its makeup and rather than just stopping like “oh ok” or sitting down all exasperated, he’d blink and be like “dude that is AWESOME??” n he’d want to watch you or even ask if you could do something on him

damien

like brian, he... wouldn’t handle the blood well. he’d see it and have to step back because lord knows he’d probably get lightheaded. you couldn’t get a word in before hes coming back with disinfectant and bandages. you’d have to actually physically wipe it away yourself like “no- damien- im okay i promise” and you show that you really are okay by showing how the sfx works and he just stares at you before laughing nervously like “oh yes i,, knew that, yes

robert

literally as SOON as he sees you, he’s already walking to grab like a bottle or a baseball bat or something to hit someone with and he looks at you like “who the fuck-” and you have to stop him before he commits arson on someones lawn trying to figure out if they hurt you n once he knows whats up he’d pause and set his stuff down like “so. you know now that i know this, we have to use your skills in a bit, right?” as if its the most fuckin obvious thing on the planet

#ddadds #dream daddy #all dads #joseph christiansen #mat stella #hugo vega #brian harding #craig cahn #damien bloodmarch #robert small #Anonymous

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aurorawebsites151 · 3 years ago

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Employee #1: Dropbox

A conversation with Aston Motes, Dropbox’s first employee.

Employee #1 is a series of interviews focused on sharing the often untold stories of early employees at tech companies.

Aston Motes was the first employee at Dropbox. He’s now a startup advisor and investor, and he currently is focused on multiple projects at the intersection of music and technology.

Discussed: Studying at MIT, Learning About Startups, Interning in Silicon Valley, Meeting The Founders, The Y-Scraper, Building Dropbox, Learning From Success and Failure, Going Through YC After Dropbox, Choosing Companies as an Employee vs. as an Investor.

Craig : What were you doing before Dropbox and how did you get involved?

Aston : I’ll go back to when I got to MIT. So, I fully expected to be a professional software engineer and to work at a big company after graduation. I assumed I would go to Microsoft or Google or maybe Amazon. Those were great jobs and a lot of my peers were going to those companies. They seemed like pretty fun places to be. You know, they had free drinks in their refrigerators! And that was kind of my ideal situation after college.

Halfway through MIT I started reading the essays of this guy named Paul Graham [PG] and learned that there was this whole other world of Silicon Valley, the startup world. Obviously, all those companies that I was just talking about came up in this culture of the venture capital backed startup, but that startup world wasn’t visible to me at the time.

I actually went to a talk by PG he gave at MIT. And I just became an acolyte of his, based on his blog posts. They shifted my perspective, and I eventually I decided I really wanted to start a startup rather than work at one of those big companies The only problem was, I didn’t have any great startup ideas. The closest my friends and I got to a real startup was, we built this book exchange website for MIT students called bookX (which is now defunct).We thought that it might be a business, but turned out it wasn’t.

So on my way out of MIT, I was looking to join startups and subsequently ended up in New York City at OkCupid. I actually had interned previously in Silicon Valley and decided that maybe it was too much tech for me. I wanted to experience New York where there were, I guess, other cultural things.

Once I got to New York I realized I missed having a bunch of geeks around everywhere. I found my pocket of geeks in New York at OkCupid, and I had a roommate who was also a software engineer. So I had that network, but I did miss the Valley. There’s a different energy in Silicon Valley versus New York, especially in 2007 when I was there.

Craig : So how long did you end up staying at OkCupid?

Aston : I stayed at OkCupid for just six months, and those six months were really, really great. But actually, for almost all six months I was being recruited by Dropbox. Essentially what happened was one of the people that I had worked on bookX with, Arash [Ferdowsi], ended up going to YC and co-founding Dropbox with Drew [Houston]. They started working on Dropbox together a few months before I went OkCupid.

The whole time I was at OkCupid I was hearing about their exploits. When they started they were working out of an office in Cambridge so I hung out with them there. But, just as they went through Y Combinator in the summer of 2007, I heard news from them about how well they were doing and how many people in YC loved what they were doing.

I think they ended up getting voted as one of the best startups in the batch by their peers. By the end of the summer they finagled a round from Sequoia Capital. When I heard how much it was, I was blown away. They were like, “Yeah, we just raised a million dollars.”

And I’m like, “That’s incredible.” I didn’t know they gave a million dollars to…I mean, literally, kids.

Drew is a couple of years ahead of me, but I still felt like a kid, so I thought certainly “that guy is a kid.” In reality, Drew had spent a bunch of time building companies and was working at a startup at the time, so he had a lot more experience than I appreciated at the time. And Arash felt like a kid as well. Arash is a year younger than me and I actually TA’d him when I was at MIT.

Craig : [Laughter]

Aston : I mean, it’s one of those things where my vision of what Silicon Valley could be was really in front of me. It went from PG writing, “Hey, you know, college students can build interesting businesses” to, “Here are people that you know from your school that are not only building something awesome, but they’re also getting the same type of respect more established people in the Bay Area get.”

That was a really big moment in terms of my understanding of what Dropbox was. Before that it was just this cool thing they were working on. Then it was like, “Oh they’re building a business.” And around that time period they were looking for a first employee.

Craig : Was there anything in particular that excited you about Dropbox?

Aston : So, obviously, those guys. Drew and Arash are super, super smart and great engineers. To this day, I’ll hold Drew as one of the best Windows programmers I have ever met. And Arash is just sick at all things backend. They were this perfect pairing. So, as far as the team went, I was certain that these guys were going to be great people to work with.

For the longest time I had seen product demos that were just video. But once I played with the product I was like, “Oh, this thing works. I really like this product and it would be awesome to get a chance to work with these guys, on this thing.” It was a product that, as an MIT student, it matched my expectations for how something should work.

Craig : What does that mean?

Aston : MIT has this thing called Athena, which is a very old networked computing system. Basically, you can go to any computer on campus, log in with your username and password, and the computer’s desktop, comes up the same with all your applications and files.

It’s a super awesome system that you got used to at MIT. If I needed to print something on the run, I could drop into any computing block and my stuff is right there.

Craig : That’s really cool.

Aston : Yeah, definitely. So from the product perspective, Dropbox made a lot of sense to me. If I didn’t have Athena on my laptop I couldn’t get to my files but with Dropbox I could. Maybe not this whole desktop experience, but at least my documents and my photos and all that stuff.

That’s about as far I thought about the marketability of it. Basically, “There are people out there like us and they’re going to love this thing.”

But the Sequoia check definitely solidified my belief in the fact that this could be a real startup; it wasn’t just a project that was going to end very quickly. So I actually tried to help Drew and Arash recruit someone else as first employee, assuming I would just join later.

I was like, “You guys are going to be around. Now that you have this check, you guys are going to exist for a couple of years. I’ll just come on later. Let me try to help you find someone else who doesn’t have a job,” because I was working at OkCupid and really liked my job and didn’t want to up and quit. I had a year-long lease in New York that I didn’t feel super excited about paying for while living in another city. So it was like, “I’m probably not the right person to do this. I’m not really in a position to do this.” But my recruitment efforts failed and their recruitment efforts succeeded.

Craig : [Laughter]

Aston : That whole time they had been working on me and I didn’t even notice that they were recruiting me. And I would say the nail in the coffin was, they flew me out to San Francisco to see what was going on. I got to see the apartment, which was not very glamorous, but it was the apartment they were living in and working out of, with a great view of the bay.

You could see the Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz and of all that. So, it was a cool place to be working and it was just them. The idea that it would be just us working on it was also attractive. And the other thing that was really cool was the community that was around at the time.

Their building was nicknamed the “Y-Scraper” because it’s a towering monstrosity in North Beach and it was full of YC companies. That whole neighborhood is low-rises except for this 12 story tower. It sticks out like a sore thumb, but does have great views. At the time Justin.tv, Weebly, Scribd, Etherpad, Disqus and more YC companies were all living in that building. There were a ton of companies.

The density of startup people was so high that it ended up being this really impressive thing for me. Like, there wasn’t just Dropbox and this team that I was working on. Around me I was going to have other similarly-minded people. At that point I realized not only would Dropbox be a cool team to work with and a cool product to work on, but it was going to be an opportunity for me to really learn what it was like to start my own company, which as I mentioned before, was always a goal.

Craig : What made you not start your own company then? What made you decide to be an employee?

Aston : Well, the immediate thing was that I didn’t have any great ideas. I think related to that was I didn’t have a ton of confidence about my ability to run a company, having never have done one before. So I reckoned that being an employee would be the best way to see it, and if it failed, I would learn a bunch. I would learn a bunch, and it wouldn’t necessarily be my fault–I’d just be like that guy who was around. And from those lessons I’d be able to learn all the things to avoid and when it was time to do mine, I would be super prepared.

Craig : Totally. So you join Dropbox and move out. What’s it like?

Aston : It was just like I expected. It was awesome.

Craig : Did it feel like you lived in a dorm?

Aston : It didn’t have a dorm feel per se, because everyone was working so hard. You wouldn’t see people randomly during the day. We had pretty weird hours. We would start in the early afternoon and would work until well into the low numbers in the morning. So we didn’t overlap with a lot of the other companies during the week because everybody was working on their own thing. They were maybe a couple occasions I can think of where someone visited us during the day. But on weekends, yes, definitely. It was one of those things where everybody’s personality type is “work hard, play hard” and almost all the companies would take one day to get away from everything and do something interesting.

Craig : So what were you actually working on? What part of the product?

Aston : So when Dropbox first came out, the demo video had this desktop part and this web part. Drew built the first version of everything. And then when Arash came on they ended up splitting it with Drew on desktop and Arash on web and servers. And then when I came, we split it again so it was Drew on desktop, Arash on servers and me on web.

So I built the more modernized version of the web stack and that involved a number of website redesigns. We started the site in an era where IFRAMEs were cool and by the time I left the company we were well into AJAX/XHR and dynamic everything on the client side.

I also had a hand in choosing a bunch of technologies that Dropbox ended up sticking with, for better or for worse. Drew picked Python on the web, and he also picked Python on the desktop. But I ended up picking Mercurial for the distributed version control system, which we were definitely wrong on that one–should have picked Git. I also picked Prototype.JS for the web. We were wrong on that one, too and should have picked jQuery.

But this is just like a long line of interesting things that happen when you have a startup, where you look at the things that are trending, you look at things that are hot, and you pick the ones that feel good, and then six months later it turns out that your pick wasn’t the right one and everyone is doing this other thing.

By now, I think Dropbox has moved away from Prototype.js and potentially also from Mercurial. But it’s funny how long these early decisions stick around the company.

Craig : What choices worked out well?

Aston : There’s a long line of things we didn’t do that I think ended up being good. And that was generally from being a pretty conservative engineering culture. We tried to avoid things that were trendy and, in general, we just chose things that worked for us that weren’t super complicated. So I think for the most part we ended up have never having to do a complete overhaul of something that was not working.

Craig : It’s an interesting point. In the other interviews we actually haven’t talked about the implications of their technical choices. Do you have any broader thoughts on how someone should thinking about those decisions?

Aston : My advice for most companies is just use whatever you’re comfortable with. I think a lot of that stuff ends up being “six of one, half a dozen of another.” That said, I’m really happy that Drew chose Python. I wasn’t familiar with Python before I got there. Primarily, I had been coding web stuff in PHP, which Facebook ended up using a lot of. At OkCupid, we were actually using C++. That’s just to say that I was open to whatever language stuff needed to be built in. And I think Python is a really great compromise in terms of programmer productivity and performance.

In general, my thing is, again, in keeping with Dropbox’s conservative culture, if you can use languages and tools and databases and frameworks that are 10 years old or older, you’re probably doing pretty good.

Craig : And so then what were the challenges in the beginning?

Aston : For the first year we were not publicly available and primarily we were just trying to actually deliver all the features we claimed we would have. We had a pretty solid mailing list built through interest in a couple screencast videos that Drew had made.

One screencast went to the top of Digg and Reddit and Hacker News. It was still just us three and we had stuff like that. Basically, we had this huge group of people who wanted to try the software based on what we showed it could do so we were like, “Okay, well let’s actually build that. Let’s actually make it work like that.”

It could work like that for one computer for sure, but we wanted it to work like that super smoothly for everyone who used it, across all platforms, and to have a website that complements all that functionality. In fact, for a long time the desktop client had almost no UI so most of the difficult operations, like sharing a folder, happened on the web.

So we put in a lot of work building up that experience. And we didn’t launch it until a while after I joined. I forget the exact timing, but around a year in we were ready to launch. So yeah, it was all the stuff that goes into any launch but add on the complexity of having not just the web client but also Windows, Mac, Linux, all talking to the same servers, and we had built the majority of this on Amazon Web Services, but at the time they were… not quite as reliable as they are now and definitely not as extensive. I think they just had EC2 and S3 back then.

Once we actually launched, work became fighting fires around customers problems or us needing to ship features and things like that. The first year or so was calmer. It was just a lot of heads down work.

Craig : Did you have a certain number of users in mind when you were writing V1? Like, “Okay, we can handle, whatever, a million people with this.” Anything like that?

Aston : Oh, interesting. Yeah, I actually didn’t spend that much time thinking about how many people we would reach, but it was certainly a consideration, primarily on the folks who were for doing scalability stuff. I was more concerned about the user experience and what would make Dropbox successful.

Just to set context here, there were a lot of companies we were competing against in backup and file sharing. Ultimately, I think what differentiated Dropbox was user experience and really never screwing up, like deleting a file or anything like that. And if you were using Dropbox you could be pretty certain that whatever you were doing, the interaction was going to be easy. So that was a super big focus for me.

When I thought about scale, it was more about how many people are going to run into this crappy case? Or how bad would it be if we did something in a funky way that worked 90% of the time? Because we also needed to, obviously, ship.

A specific example was backend records when someone added and then deleted files. Dropbox didn’t at the time track renames whatsoever. And a rename would encompass a move as well. So, when I joined the company, if you moved a file from directory A to directory B, you deleted this file and then you added this file. From a technical perspective that’s weird and doesn’t match what actually happened: It was actually moved on disk, not added, then deleted.. But also it mismatches anybody’s reasonable expectation of what they would see there.

We spent time trying to apply heuristics to try to understand when people moved files. In that simple case, since the file contents don’t change and the add and delete come together in a small time window, it’s pretty easy to tell that the file just moved from A to B. But when someone moves a directory with 5,000 files and directories, they don’t all come in one file change set, they come split across multiple change sets. And it’s not all at the same time. You can naively compare all the file contents but it ends up being really slow.

We went through multiple versions of this movement matching thing before we got to something we felt was performant. But it’s a good example of where performance issues sneak in around scale. And it’s not people-scale, it’s like file systems-scale, which is a different dimension.

Craig : What were the fires after you launched?

Aston : The first one’s hilarious. We launched publicly at TC 50, which later became TechCrunch Disrupt. Basically the format of this is, you’re on stage in an auditorium with thousands of people watching. Also on stage is a panel of judges – respected entrepreneurs, journalists, venture capitalists – and you get your X number of minutes to pitch, and then at the end of it they give you feedback… in front of everyone.

They were streaming it online so when Drew went to pitch with Arash everybody was in the office watching the live stream. But actually what we were watching is our computers with logs of the server. We were deathly afraid that this demo would fail in some way.

So we’re watching the live stream and the server logs look great. We’re monitoring Drew’s account specifically to make sure everything’s going through. We’re ready to fake it if we need to–like throw a file in there from our side. Then partway through the pitch Dropbox seems to stop working on the live stream.

Everybody is freaking out like, “What went wrong? What can we do to fix it?” It seemed like everything was fine and then we realized that the WiFi was out at TC 50. Drew had obviously counted on the WiFi working. Dropbox actually doesn’t need the WiFi to work that well to do its thing but, you know, it has to be on. [Laughter]

Craig : [Laughter] So how did the demo go?

Aston : So by the end of Drew’s like, “If the internet were working, this is what you would have seen.” But it really killed the magic.

One of the judges was like, “I don’t get it.” And this was a legit person who we respected and thought would love it. Then we just got creamed on stage. It didn’t help that the presentation before us was Swype, which was this awesome, magical keyboard. They had the best demo in the world and then ours didn’t work. So, we started out with fighting fires from day one.

Craig : And what about when the users arrived?

Aston : Yeah. We definitely had scalability issues, we had bugs, the same stories everyone does. I think for the most part, Dropbox had a very blessed experience. One of the ways we were blessed is we really didn’t screw up in the worst way possible, which is lose a bunch of people’s files all at once, in unrecoverable ways. We had built out the system such that when we did delete something, we left a time when we could do recovers. We had written the clients well enough so that we were unlikely to mess up the bits and prompting of the server.

But there were definitely incidents where data got deleted and we had to go recover it. There were definitely incidents where stuff would just not work for people, which is obviously no fun. The funniest one wasn’t really harmful to consumers but it was harmful to our business.

The Dropbox desktop client had an auto updater feature and one time we shipped an auto updater that broke the auto updater.

Craig : [Laughter] That’s awesome.

Aston : [Laughter] So yeah, that meant if we found any other bug we couldn’t fix it. Luckily we were staging the roll out and caught it so it didn’t hit everyone. But for those it did we had to apologize and told them, “Go download this other one that will continue to work in the future.”

Craig : I’m surprised you caught it that fast.

Aston : I don’t remember how we caught it, to be honest. But I mean, it’s a reflection of the engineering culture we had. We were all using the product so when there was funny stuff we tended to catch it. And we tended not to ship it out to too many people until we were certain it was rock solid.

Craig : Okay, and so what was the environment like when you launched? I assume you didn’t live in the YC skyscraper forever.

Aston : We got to five or six people in that apartment before it became a hazard to our health. So we rented an office right around the corner in FiDi in San Francisco. Once we moved there it started feeling like a real company. Through that point we had been hiring pretty much the same way I got hired, which was, “I heard there is this guy at MIT who is pretty smart. Aren’t you friends with him?”

“Yeah, I’m friends with him.”

“You want to ask him if he wants to work with us?”

“Yeah, I’ll ask him.” And then fast forward a number of months later and they worked with us.

We had a great recruiting pipeline but a not particularly interesting one. I think of the first 12 or 15 people who joined the company, almost all of them were MIT graduate or MIT students who dropped out to hang with us for a summer.

Craig : So how did your relationship with the founders shift as Dropbox grew?

Aston : Hm. I had been a TA to Arash so in my mind he was like a younger brother, but then he became my boss immediately when I joined the company. Though I think that’s the way the working world works–your relationship with people will change as you work with them. I think that particular relationship ended up fine. Dropbox was super, super flat and allergic to management in the early days, so pretty much everybody just worked on their own stuff and there wasn’t this sense of, “Oh man, this kid is bossing me around again.” It was never like that.

I do think all of us became much better friends but also, because we were spending so much time with each other, got a little bit of cabin fever. But overall, we worked super well with each other and had really high bandwidth communication because we had all come from the same place.

Craig : And how long did you stick around?

Aston : So I spent quite awhile at Dropbox–four and a half years. And the whole time I was like, “One day I’ll do a start up. I want do a start up. I don’t know what it will be, but I know there will be a day when I’ll have to leave the company and go do my own thing.”

The moment just sort of came when it came. I had just finished launching the API V1, which was the grand re-launching of the API. I wrote the original API for Dropbox. I helped work on V0, which is the first one we released publicly. And then V1 was this scaling up of the ambition of the API and also a huge code cleanup. The API was originally for our mobile client and so in opening up for other people we had to change some stuff so that it actually made sense. After releasing the API, I had this moment where I was like, “Oh, I actually could leave.”

Craig : Meaning you’d hit a milestone?

Aston : Yeah, that project was a big milestone and I didn’t have another big project waiting for me at the time. Also, the company had grown such that I didn’t feel like I was a bottleneck. I wasn’t this person who needed to be around to make sure stuff happened, which is what it was like when I first joined.

I thought, “I can give myself permission to leave. The company won’t die, they’ll be fine. And I can go off and do any of the random cool stuff I want to do.” So I left Dropbox and did YC the following summer.

Craig : Cool. What was the startup?

Aston : I was fascinated at the time with what now is literally a joke on “Silicon Valley”–social, mobile, local. The idea that we’ve got these cell phones that are a marvel of technology. And the convergence of the ability to communicate instantly seemed like a natural fit for this thing that was happening to me, which was wanting to hang out with friends at a random moment. It’s Friday night, I’m not doing anything, where is everybody else? I was fascinated by that question and I built a number of apps over the summer to try to address the problem. But I actually didn’t end up even publicly releasing any of them.

I have pretty high standards for what I thought would be super valuable and I just felt like I wasn’t there. I had a really good sense of what the problem was but I didn’t go into the summer with a clear sense of what the solution would be.

I think in general, consumer mobile is tough because what may work for you may not work for other people. Trying to find something that has really, really wide appeal is hard in the first place, then what’s more difficult is finding a business in there.

While building those apps I talked to a number of founders who had dead companies in the space. Just like graveyards worth of people who were trying to work on a similar problem. Some of them ex-YC, some not. Even with all of their wisdom and my own gut instinct, I never really got to a product that I was super proud of.

Craig : So did you demo anything at Demo Day?

Aston : I didn’t. I think I realized it wasn’t working a little bit before Demo Day. I took the last little bit of time before demo day to really reflect on whether or not I wanted to continue trying to solve that particular problem. I realized that if I raised money around solving the problem I wasn’t sure I was ever going get anybody’s money back.

Craig : Wow, awfully moral.

Aston : Yeah, I take all of this stuff pretty seriously and like I said, had a really high bar for what I thought would be valuable. Yeah, just didn’t do it.

You know, I tell people maybe the worst thing about Dropbox was that it went so well. I didn’t learn many bad things. I learned about things that come with success. And a lot of times with startups it’s more valuable to learn the things that come with failure.

Craig : That’s a great point. What other lessons have you learned that Dropbox’s success may have covered?

Aston : I didn’t have as strong of an appreciation as I do now for just how valuable it is to actually pick a great idea that has a great business behind it. It was some youthful naiveté that I think I’m beyond now. It seemed so easy with Dropbox. As far as I knew, Drew woke up one day with this idea and we built it. If you go read the YC application for Dropbox, we built literally what Drew said and almost every competitor Drew called out built exactly what we thought they would. And the only difference between the story there and the story in real life is that we didn’t get killed and that we ended up building a business.

I don’t know if Drew even estimated the business could be a billion dollar business, but he definitely thought that we had the same type of customers as we ended up having in the early days.

Craig : Wow.

Aston : It was an incredible thing to see an idea that we all thought was good actually work. It was a bit of a surprise, I’ll admit, that when I had an idea that I thought was good, it didn’t work! And that’s a way more typical story for startups.

Craig : Do you have any advice on vetting ideas?

Aston : I’m a big believer now in founder/idea fit. I don’t know if that’s the right term but that concept’s definitely a real thing–matching what you’re building to what you want to be building. And I don’t just mean product, I mean company as well, and maybe company is the more important part. There are certain business ideas out there that I think are pretty awesome that I never want run myself for a variety of reasons. Some ideas are really, really sales heavy and I’m not a salesman. Some of them are about scale. There are definitely ideas out there that can make you hundreds of thousands of dollars a year but my ambition is for something bigger.

I think there’s a lot more that goes into committing yourself to a long term project than I appreciated. And I don’t know if Drew and Arash would have committed to Dropbox if they knew it was going to take them a decade. A decade of their lives. I’m sure they love it. I definitely loved being a part of it too. But that’s just to say that, I didn’t fully appreciate the commitment needed to fully see an idea through.

My time in Y Combinator was like my grad school on founder/idea fit. I was working on this idea and on this problem that seemed real to me but wasn’t shaping up to be the type of business I wanted to build. So yeah, I didn’t build it.

Craig : Does that belief ever keep you from jumping onto projects?

Aston : Yes, definitely. I think the coping mechanism for not wanting to do something that doesn’t match your ideal is just as you said, to just not do anything.

What I did to get over that was instead of spending my time trying to the perfect startup idea, I just started playing again. That was on the advice of a number of serial entrepreneurs and people who had had these great exits.

For example, the founders of OkCupid who now are doing Keybase, which is this really awesome public key exchange. The way they got there was basically through this process that they shared with me, which is just play. Just be willing to explore ideas that you think are interesting and don’t worry a ton about how big they’ll be. Then cull them as you go. It’s like, “Okay, well this one was cool but it wasn’t the company we wanted to build, so let it go.”

Before discovering that letting go process – this was partially related fact that I was in Y Combinator – it felt like such a big thing for me to let an idea go. To say, “You know what, this isn’t it. I really want it to be it, but this isn’t it”. Now my mindset is, easy come easy go. I came up with that idea in a day! Why would that be the thing that I would spend the next five years of my life on?

That’s definitely a change of mentality for myself as an entrepreneur. My time since Y Combinator has been filled with lots and lots of little projects that have been extremely valuable for me in terms of learning. Some of them have made some money, some of them have not. None of them yet are the decade-long commitment thing that I would love to get to. But yeah, I think it’s all part of the process.

Craig : Man, I’m very impressed that you’re so astute in a business sense but also morally and technically. It’s cool.

Aston : Oh, thanks.

Craig : Definitely. Ok, so you’re an investor now. Can you explain how you vet companies as an investor versus as an employee?

Aston : Sure. So the reason investors have a portfolio is because it spreads out your risks, right? This company may fail. This company may 10X. This company may 100X. They offset each other. But as an employee and particularly a first employee, you’re really giving your life to this thing for however long it’s going to be alive and that’s a different sort of commitment.

If I were looking to become a first employee, first off, I’ll say that being a first employee is actually a pretty tough role. You’re basically a founder, in terms of the responsibility that you have and in terms of the emotional weight that the company will have on your life. You won’t be able to get away from it the same way employee number 50 or 500 will.

To that end, I think it’s important to make sure your personal life lines up with the company. It’s different for everyone but for me it was my first year out of college and I wanted to make sure I worked with people I really liked and trusted. Because you can write anything in a contract, but when it comes down to it, it’s very easy to break the contract and you have no recourse, right? I trusted Drew and Arash, basically, with my life. I was like, “These guys are great people and I can’t see a future in which they would do me wrong.” You need to really feel like you want to be associated with the company. For better or for worse, Dropbox is going to be on my resume forever.

So far it’s been great but that’s just to say that, you do have a lot of career risk when you go work with a company. If you work with people who aren’t good or aren’t scrupulous or things like that, it can hurt you. Those are the highest bits for me, “Who am I working with? Do I really want to be working with these people?” And then, I think the second thing is certainly, “This product, do I love it? Do I want be working on this business? Am I willing to keep working with these people on something related if this one doesn’t work?”

That last one’s a weird one. I think a lot of people end up working on things where they’re like, “I love this, but anything else, I hate.” That’s a bad attitude for an early employee because I think your responsibility, ultimately, is to stick with it longer than other employees and almost as long as the founders. You can get out a little bit earlier, but it does look bad when early employees are bailing. It hurts companies.

Being a first employee is a really, really big responsibility and you should be ready for it. As a young person I don’t think I understood how much responsibility I was stepping into but I mean, it was pretty easy for me to make that step because I felt so much confidence around the team and around the product. I knew I was going to learn so much that even if it didn’t work, it would be worth it.

Craig : As an investor, how much time do you spend investigating the business versus the founders?

Aston : I care way more about the business than I did as an employee. At Dropbox, I didn’t think very much at all about how much money we would make. And that was probably fine. I mean, like I said, I was happy enough to be working with the people and on the product. If it ended up with us failing on the business side, I was prepared for it, I expected it. I was actually the first person to push for asking for money from customers and I built out the billing system and then I looked over my computer at Drew and I was like, “How much should we charge?”

And he was like, “I don’t know, 10 bucks a month.”

I was like, “Sounds good to me.”

Craig : [Laughter]

Aston : [Laughter] Yeah, that’s level of financial modeling I was experiencing at Dropbox. I’m sure Drew had stuff with the investors that was a bit more sophisticated.

But yeah, as an employee you can’t make a portfolio, which means you would have to be right. And it’s very hard to know if a company is going to work or not. So I don’t think that could be a part of your calculus as an early employee.

Craig : Totally. All you have is the portfolio across your career. You get some amount of chances.

Aston : Yeah. That, I would say, is a good thing about small startups: they tend to fail fast. So, you know, if your company is failing every year and a half or so, you can get a lot in before you start getting up in the years.

Craig : So, related to finding startup opportunities. It seems like at MIT you were at the right place at the right time to meet people. How do you think about meeting new people now ?

Aston : That’s changed a lot since I moved here. My advice, actually, is to move to where you have lots of opportunities to run into interesting people who are doing cool stuff. My move to New York was probably not the best one in terms of networking around startuppy people. I don’t regret going, but if I had I moved immediately from college to Silicon Valley, I would have had way more people around me who were entrepreneurial and would have raised my chances, not only of finding an opportunity like Dropbox, but also potentially finding a co-founder and doing my own thing. I think getting around a place where the people think the way that you want to be thinking is super valuable.

Craig : And what about vetting them?

Aston : That’s tough. MIT is cheating. Going to MIT you end up getting to meet lots of people who are smart and fun to hang out with and you’ll get along with naturally. It’s much harder after school.

Craig : Agreed. Ok, last question. Do you have any book recommendations?

Aston : Let’s see. For business books, I really like Ben Horowitz’s The Hard Thing About Hard Things. It’s like the opposite of my Dropbox story in ways, so for me it was really eye opening. This idea of taking some people who are super experienced entrepreneurs, who have great connections, who have a billion dollar business idea, and then watching how crazy things get and how many ups and downs there can be on the way to success. It’s fascinating. And style-wise I just love it because it’s very casual and easy to read.

On the non-business side, I absolutely have to recommend Ta-Nehisi Coates’ Between the World and Me. He does a great job using his own personal experience as commentary on the rest of America. It may feel a little bit heavy-handed to some readers, but I think it’s heavy-handed on a really important set of issues about institutional racism. It’s about how this whole system that we have impacts a lot of people’s lives in ways that often go unrecognized. It’s a really great book, and it’s pretty short too.

Craig : That’s great to hear. Ok, let’s end there.

Aston : Cool. Good to hang.

Craig : Likewise! Thanks for your time.

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