#//ahahaha... oh god... i'm tired | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

starryficsfinishwen · 1 year ago

Text

✧。◟[NSFW] ᴛʜᴇ ʀɪᴅᴇ ʜᴏᴍᴇ — lee x reader [PGR]

so I'm coming home to you

synopsis ; there are answers far beyond words in between turbulences. you are looking for those in lee's battles, in the way he sat beside you, yet what can you say, when the ride home is silent?

alternatively: starry was unsatisfied because we never knew what happened after the epilogue and got a time skip instead, so she is writing it down on her terms LOL

a.n. - this idea came to me while I was cooking breakfast. I nearly dropped the bowl. I nearly dropped my eggs 😭 also I wanna suggest listening to fallingforyou by The 1975 for this too if yall wanna. I wanted this to be an angst to fluff but I decided to make it in a separate post LOL ALSO I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED THIS EARLIER AHAHAHA I'm sorri oh well

pairing - lee hyperreal x f!commandant

words - 7,691

warnings - WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 21: SPIRAL OF CHRONOS. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, NSFW THEMES: soft sex hehe, body worship, cunnilingus, creampie-, vaginal penetration, squirting, virginity loss but it's the both of them LOL, lee being so soft and gentle. semi-established relationship, mutual pining.

edit - dividers by @/saradika-graphics!

The ride home is silent.

A gentle lull of a torrential downpour, multiple raindrops pattering on the aircraft's window. Apart from the tired snores and occasional groaning of both constructs and commandants, you are certain: everyone on the aircraft was alive. Miraculously, even if the chances of being so were as small as a pea.

A sharp pain in your mind knocks on your head. Ah, right. Although the realization finally hits you, the piercing pain in your head has yet to dull, after all of the events that unfolded. You wondered, how lucky you were to be alive, despite connecting with so many constructs, all the while maintaining a deep M.I.N.D. connection with Lee. Perhaps, the gods listened to your selfish plea.

After all, Lee came back alive. And he is sitting, silently beside you.

Arms crossed as he leaned on the chair you both sat in, his frame never leaving a hint of space between you. His mesmerizing cerulean eyes were hidden, eyes closed as he breathed so softly.

It's the first time you've seen Lee's frame up close. The first time as a hologram, the second after he emerged from the tower. And now, one glance away.

His hair was a lighter shade of blonde, long bangs covering up until his eyes. Face more defined, looking more mature, yet still so youthful. There weren't any scars on Lee's face anymore, unlike his Entropy frame. Despite his cold and neutral face, as he slept, you can't help but notice that he looked more gentle, softer. Your hand reached out carefully trying not to disturb his sleep, fingers lightly tracing from the top of his head, to the side of his face, to his lips— a thought passed your mind, but you shook your head instead.

As you pulled away, Lee's hand grabbed yours.

“You are shaking,” a whisper that tickled your ear brought you back to reality, “are you alright, my Commandant?”

My Commandant. He only called you that in a fierce, stoic tone. But now, his voice is so tranquil, you might have mistaken it as a phantom. A ripple rumbles through your chest. Lee's voice, although you've heard it so many times, never failed to make you shake, never failed to make you sigh of relief. Unlike his Entropy and Palefire frames, what changed? His new frame is gentler, softer, too. Grasping the warm blanket wrapped around you, you felt Lee lean closer to you. You looked back at him, finding a worried expression across his face.

A face you've seen for the first time, should have made you afraid. Yet, the new face is looking at you, the same way he used to. A sense of familiarity, a sense of comfort.

“I'm okay,” you admitted, “Please don't worry.”

The windows were tinted dark, a few shimmering stars outside. In the dim light of the evening haze, cerulean eyes looked down on you, calculating and quiet. “Is there something wrong? You seem distressed.”

Apart from all the events that conspired earlier, it's probably safe to say that you were far from okay. But you still held onto your words, “Nothing. I just...wanted to see you up close.”

Sturdy, mechanical arms wrapped themselves around your frail, tired body. The gesture made you sink into Lee's chest, a new wave of comfort entangling itself on both of your bodies. Yes, this was— and still is— the man you liked for a long time. And this was the same space you've always loved to drown in, away from the cold, war-struck world.

“Wasn't it you who told me not to shoulder everything,” Lee chuckled, “You can tell me the truth, my Commandant. I am here to bear it all with you.”

His words made you snort. “Oh, now you take my words?”

“I remember everything you say, orders and everything.”

The turbulence seemed to hit a little harder, as Lee held you tighter in his embrace. You found yourself nestled in his lap eventually, cradled like a child in your teammate's arms. You still looked at Lee, searching for something. Two awake individuals now converse in hushed tones.

“You're making me quite nervous, Commandant.” Lee spoke as you continued to stare at him.

“I still can't believe that you are here.” You childishly poked his puffed cheeks, “Are you sure you're real?”

Ah, there he is. His usual stoic expression as he looked at you nonchalantly. But they were quickly replaced with a warm smile, eyes softening at your antics. “My Commandant, I believe that we are still connected right now. Do you wish to check it?”

As far as you were concerned, what Lee said is true; the connection with him is still a brightly burning flame, signaling its closeness with you right now. Yet, as you continue to gaze at your teammate, who was looking elsewhere, another realization dawned on you. Reaching out to touch his neck, his shoulders, his metallic chest— all hardened, like a cyborg. But you can still feel it, in your fingertips, his heartbeat reflecting yours, a cadenza of fluttering butterflies.

“Commandant,” Lee took your shivering hand, looking at you as he brought the back of it to his lips, “I'm here, okay? I'm back. I'm holding you like this.”

He is. As you gazed at his face, the whims of today that brought cold demons do not sway so easily, your heart crumbling once more— the fear that gnawed you left and right back when you were at the foot of the impenetrable tower, helpless in front of bloodlusted monsters. The thought of earlier when blood spilled your hands came back to haunt you: an unprecedented future where Lee did not emerge from the tower, a grim call for humanity...what did it look like?

“Hearing you say that,” your voice cracked, a fresh wave of tears now threatening to spill from your tired eyes, “brings me so much comfort, Lee.”

How ironic. A few hours ago, you bravely put on your facade, welcoming Lee back when he emerged from the then-heteronomer tower. Your smile was bigger than all the countless turbulences you've faced, a plethora of hope that baptised the witnesses there. But with the silent ride home to Babylonia, Liv and the other healers now resting, all the other conscious and unconscious commandants and constructs, you couldn't help but break down now, an endless stream of worry, fear, and relief as a storm in your body. Silent sobs wreck through your body, but Lee— your Lee, yours— held you so tight.

“I'm sorry,” even in the gentlest tone, his apology only made you sob more, “I know I should have thought about it thoroughly, I should have planned it with you. But it was the only solution.”

He kissed your temple, his cold fingers interlacing with your shaky ones, “...to keep you alive.”

You should be happy; Lee is right. He's alive, everyone else is alive. The tower was now a purification one. Yet why, out of all the things you should be crying about, an unfathomable thought that crossed your mind— something about death, something about a dogtag drenched in the bluest vital fluid— made you cry more?

“Commandant [Y/N],” Lee calls your name, that it catches your attention, a skip in your heart, “You're so brave. I'm sorry that you went through so much. But right now, everything will be alright.”

As your sobs slow down, Lee leans closer to your face, a finger wiping away the stream of tears, his lips kissing them away. Wait. Have you ever been so intimate with Lee this way? It suddenly baffled you; sure, you were both aware of each other's affections, sneaking away to be with one another. The furthest thing you've both even gone to, was a simple kiss on the cheek in your bedroom, before Lee went away, claiming his cooling systems malfunctioned. The gravity of the situation made you snap out of your sadness.

“W-wait, Lee,” you weakly shimmied out of his embrace, “I-I thought you didn't want this-”

You vividly remember Lee hates public display of affection.

But right now, his expression was puzzled, as if confused with your reaction. “And?”

A timid blush creeps in your cheeks. Somehow, you were the one getting embarrassed.

“I thought you didn't want people to see this kind of,” you coughed, “...display.”

He raised his eyebrows. “I am just taking care of my Commandant. There's no other explanation.”

Ah, what a fickle mind you have. Embarrassed, you sunk deep into his arms, pouting as you hid your face in his chest. “Ah...sorry.”

Lee coughs, “But there is something I do want to talk to you about.”

Peering up at him, you cocked your head to the side, “The mission? Or...what happened earlier?”

He looked at you with a small smile, before a faint pink tint in his cheeks appeared. He tucked the blanket to your chest, before returning his fingers to the gaps in yours. “We will arrive in Babylonia soon. It may be a hellhole right now, but...your rest will be the priority.”

“Hey, what-”

“-Get some sleep for now, Commandant...”

Gentle cerulean eyes looked at you with an unfamiliar emotion. Was it really unfamiliar, or were you slowly succumbing to the lull of a well-needed sleep.

It felt like a dream. His touch, his voice, his gestures. Your mouth opens, trying to call out Lee's name. But the way his thumb caressed your intertwined hands, the safety of a cradle as he held you close, the faint smell of his scent—

You fall asleep by the time the aircraft docks at Babylonia's hangar.

You remember the day you realized you liked Lee.

It was a little crush that bothered you like a bunny, hopping around the corners when it saw food nearby. You tried to ignore it, favoring the quiet, tranquil field, your battlefield for the fight against the virus. Yet, the longer you lingered in the field, the more of that man in blue with a cold facade and steeled eyes seem to capture your attention, far longer than any lesson you took in the F.O.S.

“Do you have any wish?” You remember Lee's sudden, peculiar question one day, at the Gray Raven lounge.

You were both chilling there, across one another; you were by the table, doing your paperwork, and him on the sofa, polishing his weapon. The question was so out of the blue. A few weeks after your initial meeting, and he was still in his Palefire frame. In honesty, what was your greatest wish? You were merely a fresh graduate, finally with a team assigned to you. You've been through the simulations, memorized every nook and crook of the books, and can even recite the constitution and the laws. All of this for the sake of humanity.

“Retaking Earth, having a future of peace.” was a simple way to put it.

But Lee only had a cold expression on his face, despondent eyes looking at you with judgement. You recognized this look, one that he'd been wearing every time you were around. You admitted him, earlier, his frigidity nearly makes you wet your pants. But when the last word escaped your lips, the expression changed for a split second— relief?— before it returned to its hardened state.

“I'm not asking you to do a pep talk.”

You pondered once more. Sure, humanity is needed. But guess not for Lee. What did you want, really? Ah, you remember the parcel you ordered, and the many more that were to come. Your wallet had been growing slimmer, too. Smiling, a stupid, yet practical idea sauntered to your young mind.

“Retiring as early as possible to get my pension?”

A life of pure ecstasy and glory. It wasn't so bad. But that look on Lee's face seemed to insinuate that he'd probably kill you and stage it as something else.

“Can you just give me one that is actually achievable?”

Is retiring early too much? When you looked up to Lee for another witty remark, you found yourself frozen. What once were steeled eyes were a noticeable shade of indigo, complimenting the blue patterns on his outfit. A clenched jaw, soft skin, a remarkable face that seemed to know so many things at once. You've always known you had a little bit of admiration for your team, with the tasks assigned to you little by little. But did you ever have your heart skip a beat whenever Lucia or Liv was around? You remember fierce and timid eyes looking at you, but never this cold. No, only Lee.

Only Lee could do that.

What little crush became a massive infatuation.

“Then,” sheepishly smiling, you felt your cheeks tint in the lightest shade, yet you still looked at Lee, “your smile?”

The question caught him off guard. Taking advantage of the situation, you decided to tease him further, “I want to see you smile more, Lee.”

You've always wanted to see him smile. One that was genuine, not commanded, nor forced. For the first time since your first meeting, there was a crack in his expression, a thin shade of pink dusting his own cheeks; a seemingly thin facade that only motivated you to open the lock that was presented to you.

“W-what-”

“You will scare everyone off with that intimidating look on your face,” you smiled, “So, please?”

Before the next moment could happen, the memory goes dark, and you open your eyes.

Your senses are out of place, lost as you tried to regain everything. First, your sense of smell returns as the scent of vanilla fills the room. Next is your hearing, the white noise of the air conditioner overwhelms the empty space. The feel of your bones and muscles, albeit sore and tired, felt weightless as you tried to lift your arms and legs up. The soft grasp of cotton and the mattress. When your vision returns, the white ceiling is adorned with the many trinkets you could remember sticking onto the top, the feeling of home asking to be welcomed. The comforts of the bed seemed to beg you to stay more, but you forced your body to sit up, the familiar scene of your room at the Gray Raven base now into view.

Did you...fall asleep? What time is it? You didn't want another lifetime of scolding waiting for you outside of your door. Lucia and Liv could be in the training room. And Lee...

An ominous feeling rattled your body. When you look down at your hands, a silent scream on your lips as you jump from the bed— your hands are tainted with a mixture of blue vital fluids and the brightest red.

Nearly falling onto the floor, lucky enough that you landed on your mattress. You suddenly remember everything—

“Lee!”

You forget your dignity. You forget your bare feet, you forget everything else. You had to find Lee. You had to. Running out of the door, you bolted to find the blonde man, the fear that you were too late to save him.

But before you could reach the last door that held all the answers you were looking for, a tall, study cushion prevented you from doing so.

“...dant! Commandant!”

A familiar voice. Snapping out of your fear-stricken trance, you felt yourself being pushed off slightly. A pair of worried cerulean eyes looking down at you.

“Commandant, I'm here!” A baritone voice, ones that made your eyes blur from the tears, “I'm here. I'm back.”

A comforting hold over you. A towering figure. The presence that could only make you crumble. Your teammate. The one that filled your quiet days.

“You're,” you choked, the dam of tears that spilled senselessly, “Lee, you're alive.”

He sighed in relief. Looking at you with a small smile, he said, “...You must be confused. Let's eat before we talk.”

Sunnyside up egg and bacon, the other kind of egg being scrambled. Two plates, two pieces of toast. A coffee and a glass of milk. And you finished it all, your share with the sunnyside up. The other was close to finishing, with Lee still tinkering on the small robot that was on his side.

A part of you thinks rationally, as you shouldn't eat like a pig when in front of someone else. But you can't help but strive to satiate the hunger that was distracting you from doing anything else. Apart from that, the raging headache was now gone.

You noticed something different, though.

“Did you enjoy it, Commandant?”

You glanced at Lee, before looking back at your clean plate. You wanted to retort, but, you awkwardly laughed instead. “Thank you, I really enjoyed it, Lee.”

“You looked like you tasted something else though,” you raised your brow, before he added, “Your expression changed.”

“Ah,” you absentmindedly toyed with your fork, “...it tasted different. Did Liv cook this?”

A faint blush adorned his cheek. “I was the one who cooked the food. Liv did not participate at all.”

You blinked in surprise. Lee? Cooking?

“Really?” Bewildered, you reeled back, “It tasted so good. I want a second serving...”

You had nothing against Lee's skills. He followed all of the nitty gritty details of the cookbook he used, making the dish taste too bland or too dry. But the one you tasted seemed different.

“I can cook more for you then, Commandant,” Lee prepared to stand up, but you grabbed his arm.

“Later, later!” You beamed at him, “I'm quite surprised as it tasted...”

What were the right words? As his hand loosened on your grip, you blurted out, “Warm.”

“Did it now?” A teasing tone. You huffed out, which made him grin.

“I'm glad you think so. After all, you were asleep for two days.”

The events of before came rushing back, nearly overwhelming you. But Lee's hand in yours strengthened your resolve. There were still a few questions on your mind, like—

“I checked you up on the Star of Life.” Lee continued, “I couldn't leave you there, as they were still packed with all the other victims. They granted you to rest here, where we watched over you.”

“What about the other people with us at the surface?”

“They were treated as well, Commandant. Right now, they gave us a two-week rest, with everything trying to settle down and rebuilding whatever we can.”

You touched his hand, “What about...you?”

And he touched yours back. “I did, as soon as we had you here.”

“I see, thank you,” you looked down on the oversized shirt, before glancing at Lee's now reddening face.

“I- um, we helped you clean and dress up. Mostly Liv and Lucia.”

“Where are they now...?”

“They might be helping with the rebuilding. It's my turn to watch over you.”

You hummed, retreating your hand, a small sense of disappointment. A comforting, yet anxious silence enveloped the environment; you fiddled with your hands, trying to find the right words to say. But the longer you dwell, the more your anxiety grew.

“...I didn't think that my shirt would look good on you.”

Your feelings dissipated. You looked up, Lee looking away to hide his blush, “I wanted to give it to Murray, but I'm glad that I still had some left.”

“Th...thank you, Lee. It feels very comfortable.” It was normal, right? Wearing boyfriend shirts has been a trend lately. So why are you blushing like a tomato? Well, at least the two of you look like tomatoes.

“...I still have a few more,” Lee said, gathering the courage to look at you, “If you're not closed to the idea of having shirts like the one you are wearing now, then, let me know.”

The cloth did feel quite comfy, never mind how it rested above your knees. It also smelled like Lee— apple blossoms and summertime. You were hoping you could keep the shirt hidden, but you were glad you had his confirmation.

Another silence. At this point, you'd rather be swallowed by the ground whole than be stuck with the awkward air. As you thought about it, deeper in thought, you felt Lee's fingers reach for yours, index finger wrapped around your pinky. Looking up, Lee already had his eyes on you, cerulean eyes looking with the same unfamiliar emotion.

“Commandant,” Quietly, as if the glass in front of you would break, “...Are you scared?”

“No,” you shook your head, sighing, “I was only worried. I thought...”

“So, you are.” Tenderly, he brought your hand closer to his face, “I feel that I can't apologize enough.”

“No, no, Lee,” What were you doing? Your vision nearly blurs, guilt clawing at the back of your throat, that your voice feels so small, “It's okay, it really is...”

“You told me yourself that you'd allow me to share all my burdens,” Gently, he kisses your fingers one by one, his eyes closed, “That we're doing this together until the end. You and I— you are no exception.”

Lee doesn't leave any finger unkissed, warm lips on your fingertips, before he trailed his kisses to the side of your hand, to the pulse on your wrist. Ah, he knows. He knew about the flash of blood on your hands, the haunting memory between the both of you. The first drop of your tears escaped. Then another. Until it became an endless stream, running down your face.

“I'm sorry, Commandant, for scaring you.” He opened his eyes, revealing glossy ones, mirroring your sad expression, “But I assure you; I am here, I'm sitting with you, I'm next to you now.”

Two of his hands are now on your wrist, hovering over his jaw, words brewing at the tip of his tongue. Does he know about your hammering heartbeat? How this very gesture, so intimate, so real— there are words far beyond comprehension, beyond verbal communication, that wishes to be said. But all it took was the way he looked at you, your hands on his. He pulls you closer, eased comfortably in his awaiting lap.

“In the tower,” he admitted, “The frame knows something, and I can't tell Asimov unless I tell you first.”

“What do you mean?”

His fingers are now on your cheek, wiping away all of your tears, looking at you with such sincerity, it nearly breaks your heart, “I saw the future.”

It made you freeze. The future? It didn't seem true. But you trusted Lee, and you would safeguard everything he said to protect him.

“Like...you saw it happen?”

He nods, “I do. I can even go back into the past. I used to remember it all so clearly, but...”

A twinge of dread sinks in your stomach, whispering, “you can't anymore?”

“...In the end, I can still remember the worst that happened.”

Lee's free hand cups your cheek, and you only noticed it now, the vibrant color of his cerulean eyes, reflected so bright. “I lost you in all of them.”

It hits you faster— you weren't the only one who suffered. Lee, your Lee, battled his own demons inside of the tower. It made your stomach sink, your heartbeat wild in your chest. Your Lee, who had always been so calculating and ahead of everything, had the fear that you also had.

The vivid thought of your hand wrapped around a bloodied dogtag washes over you. But you tried to push it away from your mind, opting to cup Lee's cheeks.

“Lee,” words die on your throat, “I'm...”

“That's why I need to tell you this, Commandant,” he inhaled deeply, that a shiver ran down your spine—

Was he going to ask to step down? To leave Gray Raven, to leave...you?

His face was dangerously close to yours now, your breathing tangled with yours, your warmth clinging to his skin, “I never want to be away from you again, Commandant.”

You held your breath. In the heat of the afternoon haze, Lee's arms are on your waist, the other on your cheek; you, on his lap, holding his face. All of the thousand words, unsaid during the ride home, poured in like a fountain. His thumb wipes away the last tear from your eyes, mouth curling into a smile.

“I may not hold what lies in the future, or how long until our end will arrive, but right now, I will not hesitate to spend all of our precious time together. I want to protect you. I will do everything I can to keep on saving you, even if I have to give my life.”

He drives the final nail onto his words, “I like you. I like you far too much, that if I don't see you anymore, then I will never know what to do.”

A confession. Lee was never this honest or upfront. It rattled you to the core, that a simple event made him change like this. Honest, upfront, intimate. But you only shook your head, the hold over him tightened.

“No,” you breathed out, “I can't lose you like that, Lee. I never want to lose you.”

“Save me all you want, but you know that I'll do the same,” you muttered, leaning to press your lips onto his cheeks, “But I won't only die for you. I will live for you.”

“I-”

“I like you, too, Lee. I like you that I would rather watch the world burn than to see you gone from me.”

In this very small space, you could hear his heartbeat echo alongside yours. His grip on your waist tightens, and you are leaving kisses on his face. There is a feeling that bubbles inside of you. You wanted to call him that word— something you've been craving to say that it aches too much in your mouth, asking to be confessed. But you already know that neither of you are ready to say it, nor accept it.

“Commandant-”

“Say my name, Lee,” your voice breaks, as your hands itch to wrap them around Lee, too touch-starved to care if this kind of intimacy breaks both of your boundaries, “I want to hear you say it.”

“[Y/N],” Lee's voice said your name so softly, that your heart flutters, “[Y/N],”

You've only heard Lee call your name with your title. But now, in the heat of this moment, as he calls your name, you never wanted anything more than to kiss him. Already leaning to close the missing gap, but you hesitate. You were really going to break all of the other boundaries you've both set for one another. So you lean away, slightly disappointed.

“[Y/N]?”

“I'm sorry, Lee.” A small pout on your lips, “I really...want to kiss you.”

“...I do, too.” You notice the pink in his cheeks grew darker, “...I want to kiss you. I want to do many things with you, [Y/N].”

Ah, a clear sign. One that makes your heart erupt with joy, one that made the grin on your face uncontrollable.

“Then, kiss me, Lee,” you said, cupping his cheeks, “I want you to kiss me.”

And he does. Your arms are wrapped on his shoulders, his lips on your waist. Closing the aching gap, that your bodies are pressed onto each other, it reminds you of the collision of stars— merging into one. Kissing Lee for the first time is soft, gentle, with a hint of neediness and satisfaction. One where the longer you've kissed, breaking away only to find a string of saliva on your lips, an unbearable need to kiss each other once more, that it deepens.

It distracts you, however— his hands tease along your bare thighs, fingers lightly tapping on your skin. You only move closer, his hands finding themselves wrapped on the back of your thighs.

“Lee,” you whispered, pulling away to find a string of saliva as you catch your breath, “can you touch me more, please? I want to know if this is real.”

“This is real,” he affirms, guiding your legs to wrap themselves on his hips, “...And I am touching you right now.”

He wastes no time kissing you again, one hand on your cheek, the other caressing your hips. Your hands, however putty, start to pull on his own clothes, finding where his buttons could be. Lee must have noticed it, when you breathe for air, he chuckles.

“Hyperreal isn't like my Entropy or Palefire, [Y/N]. Seems like I'll be the one taking them off, as you don't know where.”

“Such a tease,” you pout, “You should have asked Asimov to put some buttons or zipper somewhere to easily take off your clothes.”

“Well,” Lee coughs, “I honestly did not think that I would be making out with my Commandant in the future.”

It made you laugh loudly, fingers grazing his chin, “Cute. Well, I guess your prophecy skills are a bit too rusty, hm?”

“Mm,” Lee leans to brush his nose on the side of your face, “I did not forsee that an attractive girl like you would be on my lap right now, being so receptive and kind to me.”

The statement made you blush. “Cut it, and I thought you were the one who gets flustered easily.”

“Th-” Lee pulls away, revealing his adorable pout, paired with the raging blush on his cheeks, made you want to remember this sight forever, “That's because there is something wrong with my cooling system.”

“Even now on your new frame?”

He sighs. “I'm starting to think that it's not because of the cooling system...”

“Oh, you admit it now?”

“...Yeah,” he takes a strand of your hair in between his fingers, twiddling, “I think it's because of you, [Y/N].”

“Why is it my fault now?”

“You...” Lee pauses, before looking at you, “...you make me think of things to the point of overthinking. You keep overriding my logic, always skewing my predicted data.”

“I'm sorry?” Awkwardly applogizing, but Lee only laughs.

“Do you know what you're doing to me, [Y/N]?”

“Mm, no,” your hands play with Lee's hair, behind his ear, “Pray tell?”

“You skewer with the data because...you create scenarios in my M.I.N.D. You drive me insane to the point that I have to investigate the data, correct it again, so that it won't interfere with mine.”

“What kind of data tampering do I do, Lee?” You were teasing at this point, Lee's ears turning red, “Explain it more.”

“You...” He wanted to throw a retort, but your teasing is relentless, that he only looks deep in your eyes, “You make me think of things that I want to do with you, that only lovers do.”

There you go. Your stomach flutters at the thought that you both shared the same sentiments.

“What kind, Lee?” You dropped your voice into a whisper, leaning to his ear, “Can you show me?”

“No, I-”

“-Don't hold back on me. That's an order.”

Under the light of the dining room, Lee's cerulean eyes turn into a darker shade, a low growl on his throat. Not a moment later, he hoists you by your ass and carries you onto the table, large hands touching your bare thighs. His face was still dangerously close to yours, lips touching, but not enough to leave a kiss.

“I'm not sure if I can please you enough,” he whispered, “But God, I want to touch you, [Y/N].”

The desperation in his voice. The slight shaking in his hands. Eager lips waiting to kiss you over and over— what a perfect concoction to appease the growing greed that was brewing down there. You decided to close the gap, hoping it was enough to answer the question Lee asked.

“Touch me more, Lee,” you whined when you pulled away slightly, hands all over his chest, “I want you. I need you so much.”

Lee doesn't waste any time. He kisses you once more, before carrying you once more in his arms. You leave it up to him, as he carries you back to your room, albeit clumsily as you feel yourself gently be squished in between the walls as he fumbles with the direction. But you don't mind, not when the kiss becomes fervent enough, tongue dipping to taste Lee's, to taste where you could reach. Your whines grow louder when you feel yourself lowered onto the soft surface— the bed— and the click of the door shut.

When you opened your eyes, Lee was already in the middle of taking off his upper clothes, revealing bionic skin in his shade, a glowing mark in the middle of his chest. Nevermind the way his arms looked, but the sight as he slowly undressed himself was enough to make your mouth (and probably your private area) water.

“Do you like the view?” Lee teases. Mindlessly, you nodded.

“Pretty...” you dawdled, admiring the glowing mark on his chest, “you're so pretty, Lee...”

“You should see yourself, [Y/N].”

Grasping to touch yourself, you realized that the shirt you were wearing was already raised to your tummy, revealing your panties. You didn't know what you looked like, really. But you trust Lee.

“I can't,” you smugly smiled, “Mind telling me what I look like now, Lee?”

As soon as he was finished in taking off his upper clothing, he leaned down, caging you in between his buff body. “Beautiful,” he said, thumb caressing your lips, “You look so delectable.”

Kissing you once more. Heat settles in between your pressed bodies, incessant hands reaching where they could. Gently, Lee's lips kissed your jaw, trailing to your ear. Softly, slow hands fiddling with the hem of his— now yours— shirt, teasing by the dip of your stomach. Butterfly kisses along your neck, nibbling so little, in a place where only Lee can see. A primal need gnawed at your heart; perhaps Lee's mark could be enough to satiate the need, right?

You craned your neck to him, muttering, “More, please.”

Hesitation sits where his lips were, short breaths fanning it. “Are you...are you sure?”

“Please,” your pleas somehow sound like a breathless moan, “We have two weeks to be here, right?”

You didn't see what his expression looked like, but he seemed convinced, teeth grazing on one particular spot that made you moan. And Lee devilishly nibbles on it.

“As you wish then, Commandant.”

Ah, the title again. You wanted to answer back, but Lee seemed to know where your weak spots were, with you writhing from pleasure. After the assault on your neck, his trail of kisses paused as he lifted off your shirt, revealing your breasts in their naked glory. Shimmying out of the shirt, you felt embarrassed already, covering yourself, in nothing but your underwear.

But Lee only held your hips, “Let me see you, [Y/N].”

“I-I don't think I have the best body, y'know,” you admitted, looking away, “It might not be perfect.”

Lee doesn't say a word. Taking your hands, he looks at you, before bringing it to his lips.

“[Y/N], look at me,” you do, mouth shut, “Tell me what you think of these hands?”

“Um,” you ponder for a moment, “For patting you?”

He smiles a bit, before kissing the back of your hands. “They can be used like that. But these are gentle hands, ones that use weapons to protect her comrades.”

He begins to trail kisses again, on your arms, to your shoulders, to your neck. You softly moaned as he kissed the side of your head, hearing him say, “Your arms are strong enough to carry your teammates, shouldering your strength that helps those you've always wanted to reach.”

“You're incredible, [Y/N],” he purred, kissing your clavicle, kissing you all the way, in between the valley of your breasts, “You are so beautiful, so powerful.”

Kissing and kissing your breasts, fondling them with care. You cry out his name from the sensitivity, the fluttering feelings all around you. He doesn't break eye contact as he takes a nipple into his mouth, sucking it, and playing with the other.

Your mouth is a chorus, now— babbles of "Lee, Lee", "more, please", that the way he caged you perfectly in between his legs, you couldn't help but drown in the way he's holding you.

A while later, his lips travel to your stomach, your waist, a teasing little kiss on your hips— hoisting your legs up to his broad shoulders. He looks at you, as if asking you to not look away.

“[Y/N],” his voice sounds so sultry, mesmerizing you, “You may think that you're not perfect, but to me, you've always been so...holy, divine.”

Lee pressed a kiss to your ankles, to your legs, your knees, “I could worship you forever like this,” a few more kisses on the back of your legs- “I'll do this just so you know how much I adore you.”

How intimate, how devoted your Lee was— with your legs so close to his chest, you could feel his heartbeat thrumming. It was beating so loud like yours, a perfect mirror that rumbled in every part of your body, pulsating with so much want and need, that it made you want to pull him closer.

“Lee,” you moaned, feeling his lips slowly kiss your knees, trailing to the inside of your thighs, “Lee,”

“I'm right here,” He pressed a kiss to your weeping, clothed cunt, sending a jolt throughout your body, “Let me hear you more, my [Y/N]. Don't cover your mouth.”

You don't. Not when he sucks your clothed cunt with such vigor, your back arching for him. Your hands find themselves seeking respite in his hair, as he pulls down your soaked underwear, agonizingly slow. Wiggling out of it, you peered down to look at Lee, nearly drooling at the way your pussy was displayed all for him. You felt yourself dripping with want.

“God,” Lee groaned, a mix of a breathless moan and sigh, his fingers experimentally rubbing your labia, “You're even so beautiful down here, my [Y/N].”

You moaned at his words, hole clenching around nothing. You've touched yourself down there on fairly lonely nights, wishing it was Lee's hands instead of your own. But right now, as he rubs your slit with your slick, how lewdly your own mouth betrayed you, you may as well wish those lonely nights won't return, as the real thing was far better than your imagination.

“Lee, stop teasing,” you whined, “Touch me more.”

“I am already doing that,” he said, “Do you not feel it?”

“Well, honestly, with the way you're- nngh-”

He licked a long stripe on your slit, causing you to moan out loud. Hearing your reaction, Lee licks the same spot once more, making you twitch. But his hands are faster, holding your hips.

“Delectable,” He said, licking his lips, “I want to taste more.”

His lips latch onto your peeking clit, lapping at you like a starved man. It's messy, yet so hot— fingers prodding your hole, Lee's mouth on your needy pussy. You've lost all common sense at this point, fingers grasping tightly on his hair, babbling senselessly for Lee, tears crying as he works you out of your climax. You badly wish it wasn't a dream; your fingers could no longer do justice to the way Lee was taking you right now. It doesn't take any longer, though— you tried to warn Lee, but you came so unexpectedly, squirting uncontrollably with a loud cry of Lee's name.

You tread the wonders of your high, shaking with ultimate pleasure, as Lee dutifully coaxed out your juices, licking you clean. When you've come down, you've noticed Lee hovering above you, cerulean eyes still clouded with lust, yet with appreciation.

“That's it,” he cooed, fingers brushing away the hair that covered your face, “you're so amazing, my [Y/N].”

You moaned as he leaned down to kiss you, hands wrapped to cradle you, and you could taste yourself, cum and slick, on his lips. But you never minded that— let alone how hot it felt.

“Do you still want to do this?” Lee asked, looking at you with concern, “We can call it a day when you're overwhelmed.”

“No,” you said, pulling him closer, “We're past the point of no return. Besides...”

Placing a hand on his cheek, to which he leaned, you spoke, “I want you to be my first, Lee.”

He freezes. Looking up, he muttered, “A-are you sure? I don't want you to regret it.”

“I will never mind if it's you.” You smiled, “If anything, I want to give it all to you. I...adore you far too much. You'll only make my wishes come true.”

Lee thought for a moment, before looking back at you. “We're the same, then.”

Swiftly taking off his boxers, Lee's cock stands tall and proud, bouncing off to his stomach. You marveled at the sight, mouth-watering once more. You reached out to wrap your hands around the shaft, causing Lee to moan.

“Pretty,” you massaged the shaft, smearing the tip that had his pre-cum, “you're so big, too.”

Tall and long, and you feared he'd be too big to fit inside of you. It was veiny, with the fat mushroom tip with a lot of pre-cum. You wanted to put him in your mouth to return the favor, but with your cunt crying out loud of his cock, you wanted nothing more but to ask him to bury himself inside of you.

Lee looked like he could cum from your touch alone. But he doesn't want to— no, he had to be inside of you. He swallows his moans down, but the longer you jerk him, whiny groans and whimpering began to overwhelm him.

“Let me- hah,” Lee steals one last kiss on your cheek, before preparing to align himself to take your maidenhead, “I want you, [Y/N].”

“And I need you, Lee.” You cupped his cheek, whining as you felt his tip catch your clit, cock rubbing your drenched pussy, “I need you inside of me.”

Lee helps himself, guiding his cock in. You moaned out loud as you felt the tip prod your quivering hole, hands tightly grabbing onto his shoulders. Lee immediately holds your hips, a few shallow thrusts to help you accommodate his size. Your mouth slips out moans, eyes rolling back as half of his cock is already inside of you. But God, did you already feel so full, brushing a soft spot inside of you.

“[Y/N],” Lee stutters, heavily sigh that became a moan, “You feel so t-tight, hah,”

“Lee,” you cried out as he thrusted shallowly, weakly pulling his arm, “you're so big...”

“Shh, I'm sorry, I'm almost there,” he cooed, kissing the corner of your lips, “A little bit more.”

You scream his name as Lee finally bottoms out, triggering your second orgasm. Lee could only moan as he grasped your hips, groaning at the way you tightened, squeezing him without mercy. But he still rubs your hips, easing you back to reality.

“Fuck,” Blurring out, but hearing him curse, made you involuntarily clench around him, “You're not only tight, but you're nearly killing me here.”

“S-sorry,”

Lee only thrusts into you as an answer. Squeaking from the sensitivity, you tried to reason out, but failed as Lee chuckled.

“It's not your fault, [Y/N]. I guess it means I'm good, hm?”

Bastard. Still so cocky. You pouted, “You are mean.”

“And you're so pretty.”

Lee resumed thrusting in and out of you, the recoil making your breasts bounce. One hand holds your hips, the other on your hand, taking them to his lips. As pleasure starts to build despite your sensitivity, you somehow recognize the gravity of the situation: Lee's smell, your nearly-fucked out senses, the creak of your bed, and the way he was still making love to you, your virginities now given to each other. Lee fucks into you just right, the cock hitting all of the spots that made you babble. Everything was overwhelmingly good, that you arched off of the bed, his cock hitting inside of you deeper.

“Lee,” you cried out, “Lee, God,”

“I'm here,” he leaned to you, “I'm here.”

You never wanted this moment to end. You forget your responsibilities, you forget the war— even just for a moment, everything was perfect for the both of you. As Lee settles your legs in his shoulders, the intense feeling is knotting at the bottom of your stomach, waiting to snap.

“[Y/N],” Lee cooed, “Are you going to come?”

“Y-yes,” you moaned, “I wanna come with you-”

“I'm almost there,” as if adhering to your needs, Lee slips his fingers to your clit, rubbing it, “You can do it.”

Your climax really is coming, alongside Lee's. But before the knot snaps, you realize that Lee is still speaking.

“[Y/N],” in between moans and your whining, Lee gripped your hands, cerulean eyes glimmering. “My [Y/N]-”

“-I love you.”

You teetered so close to the edge that you couldn't process his words. But it was enough to reach your climax. Writhing, you felt yourself be filled with something down there, you and Lee moaning each other's names. He rests his head in between your shoulders. And you were perfectly content with the weight on top of you.

It takes you a few moments to process it. In between catching breaths, his hair in your fingers, your other hand fiddling with his own, the message seems clear.

“Are you okay?” Lee asked as soon as he was back on top of you, still sheathed inside of you, “Did I hurt you?”

“No...” Your eyes must be glimmering like his, as your tears began to blur your vision, “What a charming man you are, Lee.”

Lee understood, but he still feigned ignorance. “Hm? How so.”

Pressing your hands flat on his chest, you felt his heartbeat, slowing down to a normal one, and it made you wish that you could stay like that forever.

“I love you, too, Lee.” These were words you've longed to say after all. “I will always love you.”

Lee only smiled, cheeks tinted in the bright shade of pink, “...I'm glad you heard that, then, my [Y/N].”

How funny that the ride home seemed silent. But the words were far better spoken out loud in the end.

BONUS:

“Lee! Commandant! We're back!”

The sound of the door opening at the Gray Raven lounge reverberates. Two figures emerge inside, carrying a bag full of ingredients.

“Lee?” Liv asked, looking around, “Where is he?”

“It's unlike him to leave so abruptly.” Lucia shrugged, “Let's check on the Commandant.”

Leaving the bag on the table, Liv and Lucia trotted to the Commadant's room, finding two figures sleeping next to each other.

“Oh,” Lucia whispered, beckoning Liv to be silent, “They're here. Lee's sleeping next to the Commandant.”

“I see...” Liv looks around to find clothes all over the floor. “Did someone break in? Why is the floor messy?”

“I don't know. Lee was probably trying to dress the Commandant.”

“I noticed the plates were also unwashed. Did the Commandant already wake up?”

“We'll just ask later when Lee's awake.”

When the door of the Commandant's room finally closed, a loud slap could be heard.

“Ow, [Y/N]-”

“I am never going to go out of this room.” You sighed in embarrassment, remembering that the hickies on your neck are very visible, and you're probably aware that you couldn't walk. “I'm screwed.”

“We just did.”

“Lee!”

— starry

#pgr #punishing gray raven #punishing gray raven imagines #pgr commandant #pgr global #pgr lee #pgr hyperreal #lee brainrot because I HAVE HIMMMM

152 notes · View notes

sheeezu · 11 days ago

Note

my god.

Hi sheezu! I've been following your posts for a while and lately my life just keeps getting more and more awful :,) hence i really wanted to give shifting a shot. And i have a few experiences from last night (i am a beginner. Like. Completely beginner. So i need to share this to know whatever the fuck that happened was not.... abnormal 😭)

Okay so i listen to this mantra and meditate on it before sleeping. Yesterday, i thought I'd meditate first, then listen to subliminals and wrath's second seal before shifting. (But. Apparently i was too tired 😭 so i fell asleep in the middle of meditating.) (Now, i really was in the mindset of shifting since the whole day. I'd been affirming myself here and there, thinking about the life i want to shift to and planning it all out vaguely (do i need to plan it out to last detail to be able to shift properly? Because I haven't.) I ebbed back to consciousness an hour later (because this mantra was blasting in my ears lol, it's really whimsical as well) And god. My heart was beating so hard. I don't know why. I don't remember being scared or anything, it was just beating very very hard and my body....I couldn't feel it. So, i was like. Fuck this shit. Imma affirm and shift. So i stayed in my position, never opened my eyes. The numbness turned into pins and needles. I kept thinking about the day I'd planned, the room i will wake up in. And there was this brief moment where i SWEAR i felt my s/o's hand hover me and him saying something worriedly. But I thought i wasn't there yet so i didn't open my eyes [which, i think was my mistake. My second mistake might have been I got a little too desperate. A creator who commands all dimensions wouldn't get desperate to tap into different realities. Right?] (There was also this point of time where I felt like my consciousness was being pulled out of this cr body and it was so... Intense. It was like my heart being detached from my ribcase. I almost teared up. Not out of pain though. Ygwim?)

Anyways. I listened to your subliminal and wrath's second seal (which. Wow. When I was listening to it, i felt like i'd zoomed out and could see the infinite possibilities play in front of me, and that i had the power and authority to tap into any of them) then I tried again. But it was getting too late into night and I was already tired, i ALMOST passed out again but before I could I SWEAR. OH GOD. I SWEAR THERE WERE A THOUSAND WHISPERS PRESSING AGAINST MY EARS?????? LIKE. HUH???? WHAT WAS THAT???? And this one was scary, okay? I could see skeleton heads (all with closed eyes by the way, which i thought was funny because usually when my "sleep" is broken, my eyes fly open too) and feel spirits around me. I swear. I swear. I swear. It was so unexpected. It freaked me the fuck out because for a moment I thought I'd accidentally shifted to an unintended reality 😭 i started forcing affirmations and got those whispers to go away but then I was too scared. So i commanded my consciousness to return to cr and just .. Went to sleep. 😭

Two things that shook me the most where - why was my heart beating so fast for nothing in the first one? I can let the numbness pass too.. But my whole body being numb..??? Second, what the fuck and why the fuck were those whispers??? I didn't understand anything but god, i swear sheezu, it was so real. I KNOW it wasn't just my "imagination" 😭

either ways, I'm sorry for putting you through so much reading. I'm just very excited and curious T^T

Thank you for reading this, it's okay if you didn't want to likewise 😂

Here, have a flower because amazing things belong together hehe

🌸🌸🌸

~ 🤩 anon (ig I'll be coming here a lot ahahaha)

Hi!!

So you've managed to both shift realities and get sleep paralysis in the same night.

Sometimes during the night, with our banana mush brain, these things (sleep paralysis) might happen unexpectedly, that's what the whispers were.

And don't worry, the shifting part was not your imagination, you actually did have your s/o hovering over you (also, btw, nobody talks about how common is it to be received with a concerned s/o when you shift, same thing happened to me! Maybe they think you're being stung by a jellyfish in your dream)

I would recommend you set an intention before using my subliminal (or like, before doing anything), to keep thing in check and to avoid surprise.

The trick is, whenever you feel fear, instead of choosing to feel it (you've mentioned yourself, you're the creator, fear is a human mechanics to keep you in place)

You should counter it, think of your dr, your abilities, tap into the void state, you could do so much in sleep paralysis!

So the spirits, whispers were hallucinations, and you gave it ground by fearing it.

But this is such a feel-good story, I really love hearing the early stages of a shifter's journey, when the Earth finally glitches out for them, like it did for you.

Hun you're very close, and actually as close as you'd think, as close as you'd like to be.

There is nothing in shifting where time is a factor, so you can 100% go home tonight again. good luck, and keep me updated, lovely 🤩 anon!

7 notes · View notes

smilingangel582 · 1 year ago

Text

Hii coming back to yuukoku no moriarty

I enjoyed that so much and also... Next week I'm probably gonna take a break cuz my birthday is coming on 19th this month hehe so I may sneak a few fics here and there

Enjoyyy ps spoilers for moriarty the patriot

Summary: Sherlock enjoys the phrase William always uses when he wants to catch him. But fortunately for him and unfortunately for Will Sherlock has a another thing he desires...

Me? Beg how absurd!

"Pleease Liam!"

Silence.

"Just one time... Trust me I won't ask u to say it too much!"

Sighing, William James Moriarty gave him a tired look as he stopped his attempts to grade the papers piled up on his desk. Aparantly a certain childish detective wishes an audience from him and so far he was able to entertain me (undeniably even himself).

So far the phrase 'catch me if u can' Brough some sense of happiness however it doesn't stop there.

When he gives Sherlock an inch he takes a mile.

"For God's sake, I can't beg without a reason Mr. Holmes"

"I know, I know... but it sounds almost as arousing as that line! Please... just once"

"No..." Shaking his head, Will returns to his work, and the detective pouts look a bit immature in his actions.

"Alright fine, I'll make u beg!"

Will shrugs now and notices Sherlock constantly trying to loom over him, perhaps distracting him. "Behave... like a good detective"

"Ugh, fine..." he sits back down, and that made Will chuckle in amusement, seeing how he resembles a child there.

Sherlock thinks harder and attempts to slide a foot over his leg as he thought accidently hitting his leg "Sorry..."

But thats a good idea... he purposefully crosses his legs again and hitting him gently, on purpose.

Will notices this and ignores though it is irritating. Now Sherlock smirks "Oh Liam what's that? Your brow twitched... wanna beg me to stop?"

"Do you think that makes me wanna beg? Mr. Holmes, I expected u to read the situation well, but... ah!" He flinched so hard that the pen drops on the desk. The pointy tip of Sherlock's shoe slides up his shin and that caught his attention unfavourably.

"Something wrong?" He grins now gently sliding up his knee and Will backs off to shrug off the touch "What...? You OK?"

"Crap... Holmes don't-!" He stumbles back again and glares "stop it..."

"My, I haven't seen a look like that, my sweet Liam." he comes forward, "What? You like me to do... this?" He slides his hand up his hips, and Will backs to a corner, suddenly letting a reaction unexpected and something which Sherlock didn't intend to get from him.

"Wait... are you ticklish?"

Blushing Will frowns "No... why?"

Sherlock grins now "I was trying to make u moan but it seems something even better will make u beg..."

"Wait-" he gasped now grabbing his wrists "Don't... hehe uhuh Sheherlock!"

"Oh? This..." squeezing his waist making a giggle slip past his lips, "I don't see why it bothers you, Mr. Not ticklish?"

"Wahahait, sehehriously haha... Sheherlock!" He squeaked now and then Sherlock perked his ears "Was that begging I hear?"

"Nohoho! It's hehehe, a command!" He giggles, sinking back against the wall weak to it already.

Laughing, Sherlock couldn't help but tease. "Bloody hell, Liam, how could the Lord of crimes even be intimidating if you're so giggly and adorable?" He chuckled, now pinching his ribs more prominently, making him cackle back."Is a tickle all that it takes to break you?"

Giggling but nothing to say so Sherlock crawls his fingers up the top ribs. "What's under here~?"

"Ahahaha pl-" he instantly closes his lips, but that doesn't go unnoticed by the detective. He grins like a child. "Oho... was that that I think it was... soooo closee!"

Will squirms now, "Whahatever dihihid you hehehear you mahahahan chihihild?"

Pause, and it was at this moment this professor knew, he messed up.

"AHAHAHA WAHAHAIT! JEEHEHEHEZ! AHAHAHA HOHOHOLMES!"

"Ooof..." he winces playfully at Will's predicament as he tickled his armpits "Didn't see that coming did ya?"

"EHEHENOUGH! STAHAHAHAP THAT! FOHOHOOL!"

Shaking his head "Oh no sweetheart, you should beg not order... I'm tickling you till you beg for mercy!"

After a while or torturous processing his decision he gave up. Will can never handle tickles and teases, especially from this menace. He cried out desperately "HAHAHA PLEHEHEHASE! STAHAHAP AHAHA MEHEHERCY!"

Fingers stopped and Will gasps for breath, flushed and tired, he didn't look like the calm professor anyone assumed he was before now that... he's well tickled pink.

"Ahaha, gohosh, you're ahaha trickster!" He giggles a bit and notices Sherlock suddenly in awe, "Liam...well..."

"Whahat?"

"I think I have a kink in listening to you beg like that..." he said it with a blank face and Will frowns with a groan "Huh? My word...surely you jest..."

Grinning, he leaned forward. "That's even more satisfying than that line you used!"

"Whatever... just let me have a break, aha, " he waves a hand and Sherlock grins "what? So that means I can do it again?"

"Ha! Try again? This was unprepared, next time I won't make a single implore!"

"Again? You liked that, didn't you, Liam?"

"Oh hush! I got work, so leave, " but a smile remains as he pushes his face gently.

#ticklish!william #tickle fic #cute #fluff #yuukoku no moriarty #william james moriarty #ler sherlock #sherlock holmes #moriarty the patriot

27 notes · View notes

toastiecakes · 2 months ago

Text

An Introduction to Ivilia NPCs

(aka this is the master post for my silly little ocs)

I'm going to put most of this under a read more just because there will be pictures and I wouldn't wanna clog up y'all's feeds with the sheer amount of stuff.

I'll make a small list of characters I really want to get into, at least so that I can remember to talk more about them myself aha.

In this post you'll find information about:

-Magnus and Magan Deyvet

-Lockeland, Kitril, and Cedith Puckett

-Lucien Ancrum and Milo Ancrum-Buckley

-Helios the Bard

-Christopher and Loulouche Sunsinger

-Raiden the Wanderer

-Ghost

-Knox Odikonn the Mad Wizard

-The Glazastov Family

Continue reading at your own risk I suppose?

Okay so. Starting off strong with the twins.

Magnus Deyvet

Pronouns: he/him

An asshole to put it plainly. This little rat bastard will ruin your day he's such a a little shit oh my god. He used to be worse but I can apparently Not Make Sympathetic Villains so I'm just sitting here with a kind mean little bastard boy who's also immortal and can't stay dead so yeah that's fun! He's old and tired and wants to be left alone kinda sorta but he also wants to be in everyone's business. How dare you NOT let him be in your business you MUST tell him all the things. An aggressively gay little man. Absolutely can and will bite. Also he's a changeling so he can shapeshift too and that's cool I guess. Did I say who awful he is

Magan Deyvet

Pronouns: he/she/they

My silly little BLORBO. He is my little bean my precious dogboy the BEST EVER. NOTHING like their brother nope not at ALL. In reality she's actually probably just as bad, but his moral code is far more defined than Maggie's is I suppose. He's a fairly friendly person, she spends a lot of her time working on their prosthetics and stuff like that. Big robot nerd basically aha

Lockeland Puckett

Pronouns: they/them

Scribgly scrimblo!!!! My screembl. My little BASTARD!! I love them y'all I can't understated how much they rotate around in my brain with their funny little accent! Just a silly guy they're so traumatized it's so much fun dude. They're missing an eye btw!! And an ear and half their tongue ahahaha. But they have a cat and three dogs and a silly accent so it's okay :)

Kitril and Cedith Puckett

Pronouns: he/him and they/them respectively

Locke’s father and auncle respectively, they hate each other for some reason I haven't quite determined why lol. But they're both silly old fey and I like them a lot. If I had to describe each in short terms I'd say Kit is a crazy cat man and Cedith is a bog witch. Great little guys. You should definitely trust them with your name

Lucien Ancrum

Pronouns: he/they

The guy ever!! He's so soft and big and sweet and will give everyone hugs. This man loves everyone he's literally just here for the hugs. He will become ur dad he will let you lay on a fluffy highland cow. He is just the best, I have no complaints he is so pure and good. What a man

Milo Ancrum-Buckley

Pronouns: she/her

Lucien's sister! She got the "short" end of the straw in genetics because she looks way more human than her brother but that's ok. She's strong and also big and will beat up anyone that misgenders u. She also owns and runs a tavern!!! Pretty sure she's a lesbian too but I haven't given her a proper love interest so if you have suggestions please tell them at me

Helios the Bard

Pronouns: he/him

Clown ahh MF. This man is goofy as hell but he's also the organizer behind 99% of the riots and strikes in one of the primary cities so there's that I guess. He has a wife he loves VERY much dude he's so so SO dedicated to her. Literally just hanging off her every word. But he's a lot smarter than he presents, he's just gotta keep it silly or he'll be consumed by the narrative

Christopher Sunsinger

Pronouns: he/him

Literally gay as hell. Gayest man I know. He's short and gay and gay. He's also strong as hell and could throw a person. He's completely blind but he keeps making sight-based jokes and thinks he's funny for it. Also a good therapist! Probably.

Loulouche Sunsinger

Pronouns: he/him

Angry and small. Christopher's little brother. Asshole. Highly traumatized and very very temperamental he may as well be your mortal enemy if you so much as look at him the wrong way. Kinda a space cowboy tho so that's cool! He likes to fight god

Raiden the Wanderer

Pronouns: he/him

Silly bird man who makes soup and studies ancient ruins of long lost civilisations in the desert! He doesn't have a quarrel with anyone and nobody has a quarrel with him. He knows the tunnels under the desert well and knows how to avoid sandworms. He's also a guide for lost travelers trying to make their way through a hopelessly large desert.

Ghost

Pronouns: they/them

Silly Creecher, Ghost is my little blorbo bingus. They are a cryptid and a spooky little guy and they will look at som1 and think "that is friend". Just my tall Eldritch beastie that likes to hang out with people and sit in their forest

Knox Odikonn the Mad Wizard

Pronouns: it/they/he

Really fucked up little guy. Kinda more fucked up than Maggie if I'm being honest. A real piece of work, it created a nightmarish hell-dimension called Wiz-Mart for fun and watched people actually try to utilize it as a proper grocery store. They find it HIGHLY entertaining to watch

The Glazastov Family

Pronouns: see below

I'd make individual blurbs for this family but none of them are that important aside from Vitaly, but he's also a very minor character in this (I still love him a lot though). The Glazastov Family is a (you guessed it) family of morticians and funeral directors. They are a family of five, consisting of the parents (Konstantin and Olga) and their three children (Vitaly, Sasha, and Polina). Konstantin (he/him) and Olga (she/her) are happily married and getting up there in years, but they tend not to go out much. Not very social at all. Vitaly (he/him) is the most social out of all of them and that's saying a lot. He's not very keen on speaking to others outside of work, but he has a soft spot for kids and does a lot of the talking for his family. Sasha (he/him) is an asshole. He was quickly driven out of the family home for trying to kill his brother. Polina (she/her), or Polly for short, is the youngest and very very sweet. She often plays with the children outside the morgue, and her responsibilities in the family have yet to be passed down, since she's quite young still.

___

Okay- I did it, I wrote the things down. I'm sure there will be plenty more characters and NPCs to come, I definitely haven't covered all of them, but this is the basic stuff for the moment. God it's exhausting making this long of a post how do y'all do it this took me like three days

Anyways enjoy, if you have questions my asks are open or you can just. Rb or comment or whatever idm either way. I hope you all derive much joy from my little blorbos

#dnd #dnd5e #dungeons and dragons #homebrew #ivila #ivila homeworld.#toaster talks #dnd5e homebrew #npcs #dnd5e npcs #ocs #original characters #long post #but anyways i had fun with this #it did take me three days tho so #that might end up being the frequency of posts if i can keep up on what subjects to elaborate on #i hope yall enjoy #i put years of thougght into all this and i think its finally paying off

6 notes · View notes

docholligay · 4 months ago

Text

Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi

I really struggled to connect with this book. Not because it's a bad book. It's not! It's really intriguingly written, and I think there are people it would connect with deeply, but for a handful of reasons--most of which are spoilery and go under the cut, but one of which doesn't and I will mention in a moment--I just couldn't connect with most of the novel. I don't think it's bad but I definitely do not like it.

I read two books while trying to finish it ahahaha, and I hardly ever do that. I did finish it though!

Non-spoilery reason I got turned off that is not even the fault of the narrative: There's a pull quote on the back from another author calling it, "A clarion call to those of us who find that our minds are more haunted and complex than the status quo." vomit vomit vomit girl please.

As a person who is fucking weird and crazy, I utterly reject the notion that to be out of your goddamn mind is to have access to some secret depth. That's the kind of bizarre cope we all fed ourselves at around 18 to 22, but I have news: having a fucked-up brain does not make you more passionate, or interesting, or cool, than anyone else, it just makes you fucked up. And that's fine! That's okay! Whenever I say this shit, someone is invariably like, "I choose to accept the wholeness of my being" honey I have zero percent shame about being a weirdo. I do not care. I don't care! I get by, i have people who love me both in spite of and because of being a weird little creature, it's fine. I don't think I would change myself, given the opportunity. But i'll be good goddamned before I manage to cook up and feed myself the idea that I'm somehow special, get fuckin real. More complex than other people, Jesus fuckin Christ.

This is not the narrative's fault! This is not the author saying this! It's some annoying bitch on the back cover! But it turned me off SO HARD that I turned on the book, which is why I put it down and went and read The Buried Giant (great) in between. To cleanse the palate.

Anyway, really intriguing writing, i do think it is in fact good, but it wasn't for me. My mom is reading it, I'll let you know what she thinks. (Oh tht reminds me--i need to update everyone about her reading Gideon the Ninth)

SPOILERS BENEATH THE CUT

The gods writing the story did such a good job of feeling inhuman and unattached that at a point I was like, 'Well, you got me there, I don't care either." I think this is the narrative's intention, to feel like you're interacting with something inhuman, disconnected from humanity, and it works! It just makes me not care at all. The We, especially, I felt very tuned out, and since they take up so much of the first third of the novel I could not get into whatever Ada was getting up to.

I found the whole central thing of, "Ada was molested as a child so she split into pieces" really very satisfying. From the beginning, we're told that she is born to go crazy, that it's like trying to shovel the sun into a bag of flesh, and then...at the very end, the We is like, "Oh yeah, the neighbor boy came and molested her and so we sectioned her off, and she became a broken mind and we decided what she did and didn't need to remember" and that paired with Asughara coming out when she's being raped, I just...I don't think it is a bad thing to write, at all. i think this could be emotionally compelling for someone else. But I am le tired. It's not that a woman can't be raped in a book or anything, but being fucked with is the underpinning of all of Ada's problems.

And then she's 'pulled out into the light" by another man, Leshi, though i suppose notably he does not sleep with her and I just...everything she does is defined by her relationship to men. Mostly sexually. Her mother and sister are barely in the thing. I just cannot with it.

So, I think a really interesting book, I love the effort of how it is written even if it doesn't connect with me personally, but man...I did not like this book.

4 notes · View notes

dark-elf-writes · 1 year ago

Note

ROUND TWO! It is still technically tomorrow so yeah.... 😁

-(Remus. Safety. A port in the storm while everything shattered around him.)

Oh honey, hugs all of the hugs. This whole passage is fucking beautiful. The moment of Harry realizing Shouta is testing him and appreciating it. Recognizing where the adults in his life failed him and seeing that the man in front of him won't fail his students in the ways Harry was failed. AAAHHHH

-(Dark eyes looked him up and down. “Take ten. No need to traumatize them by throwing a zombie at their feet.”

Harry scoffed, edging around Shouta to open the door he hadn’t bothered locking (anyone who could break into UA and get past all of the staff to a top floor flat and could get around Bill’s wards deserved to steal his shit honestly) and shooting the man a rather unimpressed look even as he nodded for him to follow. “I know damn well you own a mirror being married to Yamada so the only other options are you’re blind and just a very good actor or you’re so deep in denial you truly believe you don’t look worse than I do and I’ve literally died four times.”)

AAHAHAHAHUENJDSAKGNR CALL HIM OUT! but for real I love this. We see sassy Harry and Shouta, sir, pot kettle. ahahaha

-(Twenty teenagers looked back at him, eyes bright with suspicion as they shifted their stances to cover the little girl in their midst. The little girl who had no problem popping her head around a massive shoulder to beam at Harry and Shouta as they approached.

“Hi, Harry-san!” The white haired girl waved. “Did you bring more cookies?”)

Leave it to the tiny human to relieve the tension of the room. And sassing Bakugou to boot. Love it.

-(With a shriek of laughter Eri launched herself from the green haired kid’s back and wormed her way between the protective gathering of teenagers to collide with Harry’s leg, going up on her toes to check the container. “Where’s Teddy?”

“With Weasley-Sensei. If your dad is okay with it you can come over for dinner tonight to see them.”

She didn’t so much as look at Shouta. “Dad says yes.”)

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 THIS SWEET HILARIOUS CHILD! I CAN'T SHE MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS! The only thing that would have made this better is if Hizashi had been present to witness it.

-(This time, Harry did smile, letting every shattered piece of himself show in the lopsided lift of his lips. Let them see the boy he was: fifteen and so fucking angry at the unfairness of everything, sixteen and terrified of the monsters that lurked around every corner, seventeen and tired down to his very bones. Let them see the reflection looking back at them.

One child soldier to twenty. )

god fucking damn the absolute beauty in the writing here. dsjabcim I'm speechless. 10000000000/10

-(“You look like a fucking fetus.” Bakugou hissed. “How the hell can you be a Top Ten?” )

Cackling at this. Just the phrasing. Hit me right in the funny bone for some reason🤣🤣

-(“Dormant.” At the kid’s surprised blink, Harry shrugged. “I have a no slur policy when it comes to my students. That includes against themselves.” Which had been developed the exact moment Aoyama hissed the word. Not that Harry was going to tell them that. )

Yup good policy, timing don't matter. Nope not at all.

-(they are in my top five most terrifying sisters)

Who's number one? Ginny or Hermione because I feel like that could go either way lmfao

-THE ENTIRE END NOTE OF CHAPTER SEVEN HAD ME LAUGHING TO TEARS

-(“Welcome to the world, cub,” Harry breathed, pulling back to press a kiss to Teddy’s temple. “You hungry?”

Teddy let out a jaw cracking yawn, rubbing at their eyes with the back of their hands, and blinked at him uncomprehendingly. After a second, they nodded. )

AAAAWWEWW The mental picture of sleepy little Teddy is just javirughdxkwiaiurytlh;iwo I CAN'T

-(Harry shrugged. “Bragging rights, mostly. I’m in a new country at a new job with very little of my reputation carrying over and only to a select few people who already knew about me anyway. All of you are the next generation of heroes and will more than likely make up a second chunk of the Top Fifty in the next few years. I need something to prove to my kid that I’m still cool when they inevitably decide one of you is their second favorite hero.”

Disbelieving eyes came from all around the room. Well, except for Asui and Sero. As the two with the most experience with young children, there was not so much as a flicker of doubt in their eyes that street cred with a seven year old was Harry primary motivation. Harry smiled back at all of them, unrepentant. )

Believe him guys. Believe him. 🤣🤣🤣And he's not wrong, room full of the future? He doesn't stand a chance at being his kid's favorite if he doesn't work for it🤣🤣🤣🤣

-(“If your ghosts try to convince you that dying is fun, just know that they are liars and it absolutely is not.”

______

From the moment they had first met their new sensei, Izuku had been pretty sure that he was, on some level, completely fucking insane. )

THE PLACEMENT OF THESE SENTENCES IS FUCKING PERFECT👩‍🍳💋 🤣🤣🤣

-(One singularity recognizing another. )

I'm going to keep sounding like a god damn broken record but this entire passage is fucking poetry. Like fucking hell, 'it was more than their shared green eyes. more than the bruised eyes and too thin cheeks. more than the massive scar that took up half of the man's face that seem to glow with an eerie green light." jdfaiuhganfvjfdkalghr Fucking master of words you are.

-(“ Excuse me? ” First hissed, materializing at Izukums shoulder with the same pissed off cat expression he had given Second after he broke Izuku’s laptop during movie night.

“You’re excused.” Potter-sensei shrugged. Shrugged. Like dealing with angry ghosts was normal for him. )

ahshasjiafownejwlafnuju SASSY HARRY!!!!!

-Okay death calling Harry a disaster twink in the end note completes my entire existence.

-(There was a snort and Harry lifted his head enough to see an unmasked Snipe grinning at the two of them. “Ah yes, the first day ‘how did my teachers ever put up with me’ guilt. Bright side, you didn’t have a single broken bone in your class and there was no Nezu level threat against humanity as a whole so y’all did a damn good job.”

“The bar is so low,” Hermione whispered in horror, setting Harry off in half hysterical giggles.)

Nezu level threat is the most terrifying thing to happen on a teacher's first day, bar none. nothing else. nope.

-(Harry blinked. “Since when are you on a first name basis with Aoyama?”

“Like two minutes ago, dad, keep up. They’re Aunt Fleur’s cousin and that makes us cousins so Yuuga is family and last names with family is weird unless it’s for a joke.” He didn’t have to look to know there was a duh expression on Teddy’s face,

“Did you ask Aoyama if you can use their first name, or did you assume?” Teddy’s silence was the only answer Harry needed. “Teddy—.”

point two seconds later

“Can I call you Yuuga because we’re cousins?”

Teddy turned back to Harry, still wearing Aoyama’s face, and pointed at the teen over their shoulder. “See. Cousin.”)

KIDS ARE A GODDAMN MENACE AND I'M FUCKING LIVING FOR IT

-(A familiar snort had them turning to see a grinning Hizashi leaning over the back of the couch where Shouta was attempting to appear asleep. It would have been more convincing if the man wasn’t grinning into his sleeping bag. “That’s just parenting. If it helps, they can keep up with Eri so I highly doubt Teddy is going to cause too much damage.”

They were probably right, but…

“Doesn’t one of those kids have shark teeth?”

“ Fuck.” )

Crying laughing oh my fucking god yes this is perfect

-There is something so special about how this moment between Nemuri and Hermione is written. True connection, not unnatural, just two women who have fought to protect their families and came out scarred and hurting relating and commiserating, stunning writing.

-(“If you stretched more, you could do it too.” Harry pointed out, slowly rising out of the stretch before bending backwards, more to annoy his brother than out of any real need for the stretch. His palms hit the mat behind him as he held the back bend without too much effort.

Ron shuddered. “That’s horrifying to watch have I ever told you that?”

Harry took a few too-quick shuffle-crawl steps towards him, just to make Ron lurch back with a shriek. The shorter man hit the mat a second later, laughing too hard to keep himself up. )

NOT THE HORROR MOVIE IMPRESSION ahahahahahahahhahahahah

-(In the ring, Hermione missed the leg sweep sent from Hizashi and hit the mats hard. It didn’t seem to stop her as she turned to gape at him.

“Harry James Potter are you telling me you saw Tom Riddles’ penis?”

“No I’m telling Ron, Shouta, and Kayama. You just happened to be eavesdropping.” )

CACKLING!!!!!!!!!

-(Honestly, there were worse ways to go rather than being murdered by a beautiful woman. )

Glory, Glory, what a helluva way to die!

-Shouta totally handed Ron his own ass, repeatedly and with glee

This is seven through nine! I'll be doing more tomorrow! I totally love this and want to keep going. I'm also interested in doing this with some of your other fics and maybe some tagged aus on here? if you're okay with it?

I’m loving this so much it’s such a delight to see all the parts you enjoy if you want to do it with other fics/aus as well I’m totally down just be aware that I will probably tell you that I love you platonically more than once.

#the elf talks #tbh I’m having a rough time so this was very appreciated #who saves the savior #wsts

9 notes · View notes

3rrorsnas · 1 year ago

Text

being in a system with so many people and so many switches and things being blurry so often is so fucking confusing and distressing so many times I'm tired it's awful I wanna fucking cry/hella srs neg

there's many times that I don't know who I am, persecutors or background voices making me doubt on so many things or amplifying my insecurities, echoing even the smallest of my thoughts to such an extent it's overwhelming. my guys (the ones who can create people) accidently (or sometimes not) creating or splitting people with the trigger of a simple thought in a millisecond, because someone thought of something. me not being able to watch shit or no show because one of my guys WILL introject someone from that multiverse, even on accident simply by thinking/saying/feeling "oh that person's cool!!". me hating and being disturbed by absolutely almost (probably all) every single one Undertale variant introjected/linked/spawned here. my guys accidently introjecting TWICE people that have wanted me dead and came close to killing me (and even if the tensions eased after a LOT of my guys came to front to have a deep talk with both of us the initial stress and straight up panic attacks were NOT worth it).

I've heard of people say they introject their loved ones from their sources/aus, and that it's good for their healing process from potential exo/origin memories. but no one freaking talks about your guys accidently introjecting your enemies from the simple hint of a thought of finding a situation interesting. ESPECIALLY BAD SITUATIONS. BECAUSE THESE MORONS SOMEHOW FIND ENTERTAINMENT IN BAD SITUATIONS??? yes I know they've told me most of the time the 'interest" they have in universes is from the will to help people, I've seen them try to be heroes and put themselves (or others/s srs neg) at risk from it, but this is STILL BAD FOR ME!!

I don't even know who the f-k I am, apparently I was connected to the body longer than I remember??? I have so many memories that haven't been registered as mine (because we have SUCH A WIDE MEMORY SHARING sometimes I don't eVEN KNOW WHICH MEMORIES ARE MINE) because I wasn't entirely sure who I was in the context of this multiverse and having to mask in front of other people and often obviously cofronting with my guys (so maybe my sense of identity was blended because of that?? I don't freaking know, interacting with this universe was weird back then/srs not specific neg- I don't freaking know anymore)

/srs neg fucking distressed

not even mentioning me having a huge period of indentity crisis and being scared I wasn't actually THE canon version of me in this anchor au cuz ahahaha of course I know I'm an anomaly but me being even WRONG in the context of BEING WRONG?! FUCK ME RIGHT?? THANK GOD IM ACTUALLY SOMEHOW ACCURATE TO WHAT CQ SHOWED OF ME, EVEN THOUGHT EVERY CREATOR IN THIS GODDAMN UNIVERSE PORTRAYS ME WRONG. AND LET'S NOT EVEN START WITH THE CLASSIC TIMELINE-

so after being scared of being mistaken of what the actual canon is, both for ME, AND the classic timeline (because the amount of VARIATIONS I've seen people make ON ACCIDENT is DISGUSTING)-

...I don't even know where I was going with this. I freaking blacked out. I give up. I'm posting this./srs gen neg

5 notes · View notes

tmwcs · 2 years ago

Note

I CANT TELL YOU HOW HAPPY I AM THAT MY LOVES ARE BACKKKK HEETHAN AND READEN I MISSED YOUUUUUUUUUUU

anyways back to "nik and rei's talk show" lets start shall we?

first of all YESSS HEETHAN GOT THE LIP PIERCINGGG like we talked abt yaaayyy whoooo its getting hot in here man

and also speaking of piercings, im so fcking curious on what heethan will pick for readen since she allowed him to ‘choose’ but at the same time scared oh my god we all know what he’s capable of lol!! Im saying it now since that’s what readen said…dont regret it in the future!!

also what the fuck was that car smut oh my god I can feel the vibrations and fucking heat emitting from the screen "When are you going to fucking realize....that I love you.....that I am insanely in love with you....that I fucking am obsessed....with everything about you....that I think about you....every second of every single day.......and that I'm fucking bad......I'm a very bad man.....I'm a bad man because all I want to do....is to take you away.....and fuck you silly every single day......" DEAR LORDDDDD THAT WHOLE LINE SHIIITTTTT heethan’s severely severely fucked up, crazy, insane, psychotic, etc etc….but thats okay!! cause hes our man 😋😝

also the new pet name heethan gave us 😃 “sexy eyes” I was literally like “did I read that correctly??” rei how tf do you come up with these???!?? 🧍🏼‍♀️🧍🏼‍♀️

"When are you going to fucking accept......my fucking love......hmm?!.....When y/n?" are we going to talk about what heethan meant???? like do we need to have a serious one on one conversation about how he feels?? cause bro I feel like our crazy insane baby is feeling touch starved 😃😃🥲🥲

"SHUT UP AND LET ME FUCKING LOVE YOU! DO WHAT I FUCKING TELL YOU!" WHOAAAAOHOHOHO REI CHILL HOLY FUCKING SHIT HAWT AS HELL

"Why would I be tired of you?! I just said I fucking love you!" ahahaha uhm…yeah sorry heethan we’re just oblivious sometimes 😅😅 let me excuse you from our dear author no need to get mad bae

"I'm tired.....I'm so fucking tired.....y/n...." yea REINA IM TIRED TOO I WOULD BE TIRED TOO HEETHAN REINAAAA BIATCHHHH WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS 😭😭

first Gabe....then Samuel.....Tiff....Scott......that man.....why can't people just leave you alone?.....Why can't everyone just leave my pretty girl alone?" every exact word is on point LIKE LEAVE MY PRETTY PRECIOUS READEN ALONE 🤺🤺🤺🤺

"Wrong name....y/n." HUH. WHAT. REINA YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME THAT CLIFFHANGER?!?!? AFTER ALL OF THIS???!?!!??!?? truly just breaks my heart 💔💔💔

Hehehehehehehehhe! 😏 there’s a lot of juiciness in this chapter. First off…..okay, the flashaback were he dry hunonyou against the car….I liked that. “Scream.” Like boooooooooooooooooyyyyyyyy……chill. Lol. “Let’s see who’s going to save you from heeeeeeeeseeuuuuuuuung.” Um…yeah okay.

and the car smut…..yooo….heethan reached a breaking point and that part along with the “wrong name” is going to be elaborated in the next chapter ;)

7 notes · View notes

ineffableigh · 1 year ago

Text

For real though "Do you focus on the big picture or little details" I'm imagining like project management or something meanwhile what they fucking mean is CAN YOU LOOK AT A TASK GLOBALLY OR DO YOU SHIT YOURSELF OVER THE 8000 STEPS INVOLVED IN DOING THE TASK

Like I'm trying to think metaphorically or whatever and meanwhile they're referring to the fact that I look at

'going to the store'

and I see :

Get dressed (sweater? Jacket? umbrella? check weather 20 times)

pick a bag

make sure i have my purse wallet phone keys

Sunglasses? Headphones? Yeah headphones I always need those

Did I forget anything? Check again

go out my front door to building exit and maybe run into neighbors

walk the ten blocks to the store and be sore and tired after (bonus: chronic pain from hypermobility and inflammatory arthritis)

maybe run into weird or rude people

maybe run into people I know and have to, gasp, CONVERSE

deal with all the street noise lights and crossings

deal with drivers trying to run me over

go in the store and avoid looking weird or shady so they don't think i'm stealing

but also don't look weird by trying not to look weird

find the item in the store myself so i don't have to ask for help

fluorescent lights oh god fluorescent lights and white walls

can't find the item shitfuck I don't want to ask they won't know what it is anyway

plus I have to say it in french because of where I live

got the item thank fuck, now i gotta wait in line at the cash

dealing with people asking me if this is the line, yes this is the line, yes i'm waiting don't cut in front of me stop I was waiting i'm right here I"M RIGHT HERE

pretend to be a regular human at the cash don't stare don't chat too much don't be overly friendly enunciate don't stim

aah god i muttered and they didn't hear me shit I have to repeat myself sputtering aah DEBIT PLEASE NO RECEIPT THANK YOU OK BYE

rinse repeat on the way home

IT TOOK ME 34 years to get my diagnosis ahahaha shit lol

autism screening quizzes will be like “do you take things too literally” and then ask fifty of the worst-worded questions ever dreamt up by man

#autism #anxiety #it's a trip and a half #my brain is exhausting #i get through my day with adrenaline and a good strong self-YEET out the door #autistic #actually autistic

57K notes · View notes

spookycatholicknight · 1 month ago

Text

Eight. Chapter 5 PT2:

Kevin's eyes flickered as he looked at Elijah and did his best to remain calm. 'Remember your promise Makgo Kevin. Remember your promise.' He told himself and gently pushed off Elijah's foot. Elijah's eyes narrowed as he studied the blonde with cold eyes. "You're awfully calm... did you forgive me too?" Kevin then turned off his recording device and stood up as he fought his trembling wrath within. "Oh come on. We weren't old friends for nothing. I told you what you wanted. Now you tell me what I wan- AYE?!" Kevin couldn't help but slam a thick book into the criminal's face. Not as hard as he would've liked- but enough to be satisfied. "Ugh- what the?!" "It's the Bible- maybe it'll help your sorry face more than it did for me." "... wait- you're-" Elijah's eyes widened as Kevin then took out a rosary he wore around his neck. "Catholic. Been this way for 8 years now." Kevin let go of the cross as it tapped against his vest. "Maybe if you turn to the spirit of truth, justice, and love. You'd learn how to save yourself." Kevin then turned as he walked out the door. "BAHAHAHAA!! Of Kevs! *inhale* You haven't changed one bit! Ahahahas!" Elijah laughed as the Kevin rolled his eyes 'At least he's laughing. Ugh- sorry... Lord.. I let my anger get the best of me.' Kevin apologized to God as he closed the door. "See ya- Elijah." He said before walking away. The information he needed was his now.

A tap on Kevin's shoulder had him pause as something made his chin turn. His eyes caught onto the large metal doors...

"Ok I'll see you!" Lucy cooed as she walked to the door wearing a white crop top with blue jeans, her hair pulled up in a ponytail. "Stay safe girly! Let me know if you need anything ok?" Rachel said, feeling concerned for her friend who just got over her sickness. "I will!" Lucy waved as she excitedly left the small house to meet her date outside.

The feeling of wind hitting the large, black, jacket on the girl was freeing. Her arms wrapped around a firm torso as her date made the motorcycle drive faster. Lucy leaned her face into his back, feeling full from the wonderful and lovely dinner she had with him. 'This. This is perfect. I'm not alone- finally have an exploring buddy-' *BEEP BEEP!* Lucy jumped hard as the semi truck driver they were next to honked its horn. The truck then took a hard left towards the two. Lucy couldn't help but let out a shout of fear as she hurried her face into the male's back. The sounds of the following events screamed within Lucy's ears...

Tires screeched and skidded as the sounds of honking and a man's shouts ripped in the adrenaline flooded air. Lucy screamed as she felt the bike jerking and she could hear loud crashing. Slamming into the larger vehicle her body was forced backwards as she desperately tried to stay forward with no seat belt's help. The sound of a crunch echoed within her ears as then the sound of hot liquid coated the vehicle's side. Sliding and skidding under the cutting and unforgiving road. Its black ground, turning into fire and knives slicing her skin. Her bones screaming as parts of her did not feel normal anymore. Only until she hit her head did she hear the real sound of her body being hurt by the blood pressure in her ears inflamed from pain. Slowly she lifted her kinked neck, trying to pull a knee up to her chest to push herself upright. Lucy felt her whole body aching terribly from what happened. Her hair smelt burns as many cuts and scrapes covered her arms.

Bright orange embers flew around Lucy as she turned shakily, panting. Desperately her lungs trying to find the air that was all around, yet the atmosphere irrationally phobic towards her. Her throat felt as if it became a tiny, thin, coffee, straw from the cafe. Turning as she saw the ashes, orange and yellows dancing, the crimson red covering, splattered, upon many surfaces like a toddler had too much fun with red crayons and paint. The female trembled as she saw the mangled, crushed, unrecognizable heap caught in the tires. The gray and frosting-like tissue on the ground... "ugh, uUgH, UUUAAAAAAAAAH!" Her vocals straining, nearly ripping as she screamed out the tragedy. "Hey! Hey! Lucy! Lucy!" The sounds of someone couldn't reach her mind as Lucy kept screaming. Her body shaking harder than a level 8 earthquake. Arms wrapped around Lucy as she weeped. Something shook her as tears rolled down her face. Little did she know that she couldn't see from her peripheral. As then everything became black and her body became limp.

"Ok yes, I'm on my way. In almost up the hill-" Rachel said into the phone shakily as she sped 10 over the speed limit to get to the hospital. Nearly flooring it as she finally made it to the lighten up building. On the other side of the line was Lucy's mother who was notified of the crash. Rachel quickly parked her friend's suv before getting out, locking it, and sprinting inside. There she found Lucy's mother in tears as she was watching from afar the ambulance rushing in.

Emilia did not let anyone stop her from getting to her baby. Not even her husband who got into a fight with her about being dramatic and needing to leave the professionals alone. Rachel sat outside the room. Nearly falling asleep as she rubbed her head. Her phone let out a loud buzz, but she wouldn't check. As if her phone stared a symphony, other's phones began to go off. "Could this night get any worse?" She asked herself, ready to cry as she was praying and hoping her friend would be ok. Anyone who was in the crash to be ok.

The accident was all over the news. Boulders from the mountains next to the free way had managed to come crumbling down. The semi truck tried to avoid the road's newfound obstacles. Thank goodness however the truck was only hauling goods from the stores like fruits and vegetables. Nothing flammable. However it didn't help Lucy's state. After her head injury, Lucy had a terrible concussion. Almost slipping into a coma but barely hanging on. Her face was bruised, her neck was in a cast. Most of her body was as well. It would take months for the girl to be able to heal. Possibly days before she could speak, if not longer. In the end, it was Emilia and Rachel sleeping with Lucy in her hospital room... as the news on the TV continued in the background.

(Sorry this took a while- got busy with other projects and wasn't sure how to have Elijah interrogated... anyway have a good day.)

#toomanydarnhashtags #struggle is real #the struggle is real #dark romance #romance #dark fantasy #sad love story #spooky vibes #stronger #lost love

0 notes

atomic-thomas · 2 years ago

Text

(Fake ASMR Commission) Browsing r/ScarySigns With Your Girlfriend

------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey babe. Can I show you something right now? It's something really interesting I found recently."

...

"Okay, so it's this subreddit called 'r/ScarySigns' & it's just... So fascinating to me for some reason. It's hard to describe. It's just pictures of signs around the world that strike me with this mixed feeling of fear & curiosity &... I like it a lot. Here, I'll just show you on my phone so you don't have to get up."

...

"Alright, I'll cherry-pick my favorite ones & talk about those."

"This one says 'WARNING: VERY DIFFICULT TRAIL! It is a minimum 7-hour hike to the next trailhead over difficult terrain with no phone service. If you are low on water, low on food, tired or otherwise unprepared for a very strenuous hike, please turn back now!'"

...

"Crazy, right? Seven hours? No phone service? What makes the terrain difficult? Are there bears in the area? I have so many questions."

...

"Doing that hike during the day already sounds scary enough, but just imagine if the sun started to set & it got dark before reaching the trailhead. Just thinking about the situation gives me chills. The best thing you can hope for at that point is having someone else with you. Preferably a group. I don't even want to think about being in that situation alone."

...

"It's not even like the area is off-limits either. Sure, you're allowed to hike the trail if you want, but... You know. Your discretion."

"Anyway, next sign. This one says 'DANGER: Never open this door after dark! Always look before you open this door! YOUR LIFE COULD DEPEND ON IT!'"

"*shocked laughter* What?! Ahahaha! Oh My God, there are so many possible implications with this sign. Do I even want to know? Why is this door so dangerous? Any ideas?"

...

"A wild animal. Hmmm... Good guess. Why would I need to avoid opening a door after dark? My only guess is like... Maybe this sign is at a Zoo & it's just warning employees that there's... I don't know... A tiger or something behind this door. There might be some windows out of shot that let you peek in. I'm not really sure. All I know is that I want to be miles away from this door if & when it ever gets opened."

"Alright, next sign. This one says 'This container transports a disease which has no cure.'"

...

"Yeah, I would feel uncomfortable merely driving behind it. I'd run my car through a wash just for being in the vicinity of it. Probably an overly cautious thing to do, but... What even is this disease? Is it deadly? I'm clearly being warned about it for a reason & I want none of it."

"This next one says 'ATTENTION: You cannot walk to safety from this point! You are in danger of dying if you do not summon help! If you need help, push red button! U.S. Border Patrol will arrive in one hour. Do not leave this location."

...

"Okay, so the first thing that stands out to me is the setting. It's a dry desert on a bright hot day. The image on the sign is a guy hunched over with his arms drooping down. So the clear danger here is dehydration or heat exhaustion."

"This sign is definitely pretty scary, but when you know that help will arrive an hour after pressing the button, it doesn't seem all that bad. Just sit down, relax & wait."

...

"I don't really know what kind of animals hang out in deserts. I guess snakes, but... Nothing else immediately comes to mind."

...

"Yeah, I suppose scorpions could also be a problem. But if you're out in the desert then you're definitely wearing shoes. You could easily just step on them."

"Anyway, next one. This one says 'WARNING: Evacuate the island if you hear 8 short blasts.'"

"*shocked laughter* Wow! These signs just keep getting better & better. So... First of all... The eight short blasts would already scare me to begin with since I don't know what they are or where they're coming from."

"But what exactly am I evacuating the island for? What could possibly happen that makes the island dangerous after those blasts go off? The setting looks pretty generic. Nothing really stands out that could give me any hints."

...

"Oh yeah. Thanks for pointing that out. There appears to be some kind of industrial facility in the background. And I see the waterfalls to. Maybe the island gets flooded after the blasts. It must have something to do with all that water."

...

"I don't really have any guesses besides that. Maybe you're able to see what happens after you evacuate. Not that I'll ever know."

"Alright, last one for now. This might be my favorite sign of all. It says 'STOP! Ski Area Boundary! Non-survivable extreme Winter terrain down this drainage! Hike back up is only return to ski area! You will die if you do not return to ski area!"

...

"I know, right? This one is so crazy. It deliberately uses the word 'Will'. You WILL die if you don't return to the ski area. As in... It's a 100% death rate. But that begs the question. What makes the terrain impossible to survive?"

...

"Well, behind the sign, there appears to be a steep slope with deep snow. It's foggy with a bunch of trees. I can deduce that there definitely isn't an easy way, If any way at all to get back up if you were dumb enough to go past the sign."

...

"It'd be nice if like... During a clear sunny day, a helicopter used a camera to record a panorama of the area so we can see everything in detail. I want to know exactly what makes that terrain so lethal."

...

"And again with the word 'Will'. That word implies that the ski resort has been documenting the deaths of people who were stupid enough to cross the threshold & they've supposedly never saved anyone. Only retrieved bodies. And even then, how would they survive the terrain to actually retrieve said bodies? How far can professionalism really carry them?"

"In any case, I'll take the hiking trail from earlier over this any day. At least you can soldier through that. This winter terrain is just impossible. But as for the sign itself & it's intriguing nature... It's way cooler. Pun not intended."

...

"Well, I'm done for now. I think I've showed you enough. You know what to do if you wanna see more. Just search up r/ScarySigns & you can browse for hours."

"But before I go, I'll give you my own scary sign."

"Danger~ The girl in your house may attack you with hugs & kisses if you get too close~"

"Ehehehe~"

------------------------------------------------------------

THE END

#Fake ASMR

0 notes

zepskies · 24 hours ago

Text

Aww thanks so much, friend!! (lol even SB can offer his own version of comfort. 😂)

That's so normal too with pregnancy! We can be our own worst enemy sometimes, but definitely rock those beautiful curves, hun. 😘💗 (LOVE that Joey gif!!!! loll)

Giving me full PTSD here, girl 😂

God I'm so sorry. 😭 Honestly I was using my own PSTD here, so you're not alone. 😅

And yep, that's always the worst when your partner eats so much crap and does not gain an ounce. Like, how?! Are you magic???

Right?!?! This is such a thing with men in particular I think, not just Dean lmfao.

Sobbing 😭 He so would do that! And honestly, love doesn't give a shit about looks. I mean, at some point, we all will be wrinkly and saggy, so you better hope there's more there than looks 😅🤷‍♀️

Gah, I'm so glad you agree! 😭😭 Exactly!! Of course attraction matters, but real, true love gets to the core of a person and doesn't just consider how they looked when you first met one another.

Bury me in a ditch... 🫠🫠

lmfao girl I'll hop in with you. 🤣

Lovely 😆 Oh, Beau! Sweet, sweet Beau... I can so see him and reader getting their wires crossed, and him not even registering it while she quietly suffers 🙈 I feel like that happens a lot to couples, though, when times get a little stressful and busy. Loved the realism of this!!

lolll that visual right? 😅😅 But busy Beau I thought made sense with him getting lost in a case at times, and yeah I agree -- I feel like something like this could very easily happen when couples have been together for a while. Life can just pass you by, but this was a big reminder for Beau. 💗

Poor, tired Beau, though, now dealing with a crying and upset reader 😂 (Do you think he retrospectively wished he would've just let her hop on for a quick ride? lmao)

lmao I'm sure he does!! Though consequently he's now wide awake. 💀

DEAD 💀 Also 💯 agree with this SB headcanon 😂😂 And weirdly, I thought from the start that Ben would probably mind the least of all of them if his partner put on a few extra pounds. If grannies don't scare this man, weight certainly won't either lol (His answer was perfection 😂😘)

ahahaha thank you, lovely!!! YES that was my HC too! I feel like Ben's not only "seen it all," but the granny thing would definitely expose him to some cellulite and stretch marks. I don't feel like a bit of extra weight is gonna deter him from some good pussy. 🤣🤣

But so on point for him to be jealous at first and accuse her of cheating 🙈 I also wonder how long she got away with it, considering that man's sex drive.

Ben has absolutely no chill! 😭 I can't imagine she'd get away with it for very long -- maybe a few weeks at most LOL.

Loved all of them so much, friend!!! 🩵🩵🩵

Aww thank you!! I appreciate you, friend. 🥹 This set of HCs hit close to home for me, and seeing as it did for you too, I'm very glad you enjoyed them. 💕💕

Headcanon: Body Insecurity/Appreciation

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Reader, Beau Arlen x Reader, Soldier Boy/Ben x Reader

AN: This one was requested by one of my lovely Patreon members, @roseblue373. 💜 It's a special one to me personally, being plus-sized myself and having gone through my share of insecurities. Wish I had one of these guys to make it better lol!~

Prompt/Request: Great job with the latest Dean/Beau/Ben reacts vignettes! I'd love to see one where reader has put on weight and isn't happy with their body, and how each would make her feel better!! IF the muse agrees, of course! ❤️

HC: How Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen and Soldier Boy (Ben) would react to your body insecurity.

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Established relationship, body insecurity (but also body appreciation), thicc thirty, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, spiciness/smuttishness.

Dean Winchester

You've started breezing past mirrors when you get out of the shower.

Because if you catch sight of your own reflection, you can't help but utter a sigh, your lips dipping into a frown.

In the privacy of the room you share with Dean in the bunker, you take a risk in unwrapping the towel from your body in front of the mirror.

You inspect yourself with growing dejection, noting all the places that are rounder, heavier, less firm than they used to be.

Looks like no amount of running down leads and killing monsters has been enough to keep you in shape.

Too much shitty fast food, too many times you indulged yourself with snacks and dessert alongside your foodie boyfriend.

"What'cha doin', sweetheart?" Dean asks. He steps into the room while wiping donut icing from the corner of his mouth.

Speak of the devil.

When Dean finally catches you frowning at yourself in the mirror, you inhale sharply and close the towel back up.

"Nothing. Just need to get dressed," you reply quickly. "Shower's open."

You try to offer him a smile, despite the pang of jealousy when you eye him.

He gave you the first chance at the shower after the latest case wrapped up, so he's still wearing most of his FBI suit, sans jacket. The white dress shirt is rolled up to his elbows, a few days of scruff neatly trimmed across his cheeks.

The man can cram an entire pizza down his gullet and wash it down with three slices of apple pie, not to mention countless beers. And still, Dean stays looking downright edible.

By comparison, you feel...fat. Like you've let yourself go.

You turn away from him to grab your well-worn sweatpants and an oversized shirt; you plan to change alone in the bathroom, but Dean grabs your arm.

"Who says you need to get dressed?" he says, popping his brows with a suggestive grin. He slips his arms around your waist, but your instinct is to shy away from his hold. You chuckle awkwardly and avoid his now curious gaze.

"Sorry, babe. Um...I'm wiped. I just want to get to bed," you say.

But Dean isn't fooled. His spidey sense is tingling, and his gut is almost never wrong.

His hand slides down your arm and grasps your hand, tugging you back into his arms. You utter a little gasp, but you ultimately smile at his familiar grin. There's a perceptive gleam in his eyes though.

"You know, seems like you've been pretty wiped lately," he says, raising a brow. "It's been a while since we, uh..."

He waggles his brows playfully, squeezing your hips. You want to smile, but you can't let yourself. You can't quite look at him either.

For Dean, it's another glaring red flag. His lips form a frown, and he dips his chin to find your eyes.

"Hey," he says. "What's goin' on? Talk to me."

His tone is so sincere, you have to blink against the sting of tears. Your lower lip wobbles, and Dean frowns in earnest. He presses a hand to your cheek and gets you to look at him with your watery eyes.

"Sweetheart, you gotta tell me what's wrong," he says, more gently, but serious.

Eventually, you're able to get it out. You can't bear the thought of him touching you, because lately, you can't even bear looking at yourself.

"I know I've been gaining weight, I just..." your voice breaks, and you gesture haphazardly at your body. "I'd get it if you're not really into this right now."

Dean's heart clenches. He's downright shocked at your confession, and more than a little disheartened. He presses a hand to your cheek and guides you to look at him.

"All right, hold up just one damn minute."

His calloused fingers gently brush away your tears, but his hands keep moving, slowly traveling down your body. They slide down your bare arms, skimming the sides of your breasts.

Your breath hitches. Your hand is still fisted over your beating heart, keeping your towel closed. His hands continue to move, molding to the curve of your waist over the fuzzy fabric.

"I'll admit, we've been pretty busy lately with everything we've got going on. But if you think that means I'm ever not into this delectable, sexy, voluptuous, goddess body you got rockin' the house?" he says, grinning that utterly Dean grin of his.

You bite your lip against a bubble of laughter. He's too fucking much sometimes.

Dean tugs you closer, until your hips fit snugly against his through his slacks. His tall, broad frame crowds you. His lips skim your cheek, then over your lips in a tease.

He squeezes the flesh of your hips, tender and sensuous.

Your heart flutters at the feeling.

"Mmm, I like you nice and soft," he murmurs against your cheek, close to your ear. "Feels that much better when I fuck you."

A small gasp gets trapped in your throat, while the gravel depths in his voice go straight to your pussy in a pulsing throb of warmth.

By the time he claims your lips in a devouring kiss, you're all too willing to let him peel your towel open, drop it to the floor, and guide you backwards onto the bed.

There he'll take his time, forging yet another mental map of every plush square inch of you.

Beau Arlen

Beau is a busy man. You understand that.

As Sheriff, his job demands a lot from him. He's also a father and has an ex-wife to contend with. (You knew that going in, and you've come to love Emily too.)

However, you can't help but start to take it personally when your sex life begins to suffer. He's often claimed being tired...but there's another suspicion that's been taking root in your mind, feeding your doubts and insecurities about how your boyfriend sees you, and about how you see yourself.

When you slip into bed at night, a kiss goodnight is all he gives you lately, before he's sighing deeply and closing his eyes, his soft snores soon filling the room.

One night, you try touching his shoulder, leaning in to kiss his bearded cheek. He hums at the pleasant feeling.

"You wanna...?" You trail the question in his ear, pressing more sweet kisses down his neck.

"Aw, sweetheart," he groans. "I'd like to, but I think I'd just smother you. I'm about to pass out."

You huff a laugh. You teasingly walk two fingers across his chest. "What if I make it easy for you?"

You shift onto your side. Resting a hand on his chest, you lean down to kiss him. He hums at the softness of it, but the more passion you try to imbue into each new kiss, Beau isn't as responsive as you would like. Eventually, you stop all together.

You frown, becoming disheartened. "You're not into this, I guess."

He opens his tired eyes, gazes up at you in apology. He opens his mouth to reply, but you beat him to it.

"You know it's been a month since we've had sex," you say.

Beau frowns, sliding a hand up your back. Only now does he notice, with appreciation, the familiar silky négligée you're wearing.

"Nah, that doesn't sound right," he says.

"Well, it is," you say. "I know you say you're tired, but I mean, you've had this job for as long as I've known you, Beau." Your eyes fall away from him. "So is it the job, or...is it me?"

Beau's brows furrow. "Now wait a minute."

The mere thought dredges up what's been plaguing your mind recently, and it has your throat tightening. Tears of embarrassment and upset well up in your eyes, no matter how much you try to push it down.

You push away from him and turn away, crossing your arms. You try not to look at yourself in what used to be your favorite lingerie.

You can't stand the extra weight you've put on, mostly in your hips and ass, but in your middle and arms too.

You've gone through your own stress at work this year, with less and less time to try and take care of yourself, along with making sure Emily gets to and from school, cooking for the three of you, going to PTA meetings when Carla can't make it (since Beau often can't), and every other proverbial hat you wear.

Beau follows you, sitting up and laying a hand on your back. "Sweetheart--"

"I know I've put on a few. Hell, more than a few," you admit, hastily wiping under your eyes. "God, I can't even look at myself right now, let alone have you--"

"Hey. You stop right there," Beau says, more firmly. He gets you to turn around with his hand on your shoulder. He doesn't like the way you're curled in on yourself, as if hiding your body from his gaze.

That, and the sight of your tears damn well break his heart.

He cups the side of your face gently and presses a tender kiss to your forehead, followed closely by your lips.

You don't want to melt, but you just can't help it. You cling to the front of his shirt and lean into his kiss, like you've been lost in the desert, and his lips hold the breath of life.

You almost don't realize it when his arms slip around your waist. He earns a surprised yelp from you when he gathers you close against his chest and rolls you underneath him.

You land against the pillows in a huff. You stare up at his playful smile, his green eyes glinting with amusement, with fondness, and also with desire as they roam over your breasts, barely contained by dark green satin and lace.

"I've been neglecting you, haven't I?" he says. His voice is a low, earthy drawl as his gaze rakes over you. His big hand runs down your side and over your hip, then down your bare thigh, squeezing soft, tender flesh. He slips that hand under the satin night gown.

His hand can't span your entire thigh, but it's not for lack of trying. Your heart beats a staccato rhythm at the way he looks at you, your breath hitching when his thumb dips between your legs, brushing against the damp, silky fabric of your panties.

"It's not because I don't find you sexy as hell. Believe me, darlin', I do," he says. "You're so fuckin' beautiful, especially when you're all laid out for me here."

And he means what he says. You know it by the hardness you feel pressing against your hip. You slip your fingers into his hair with a sigh.

He bows his head to press kisses along your neck; down and down, he noses at the thin strap of your night gown. His path of kisses continue, and he indulges himself by dipping his tongue between the valley of your breasts.

"Filling out this lacy little thing so nice," he murmurs into your skin.

Your upset has turned to abject relief, but you still have to blink away the remaining urge to cry.

You let out a slightly tremulous breath.

"Oh, yeah?" you ask.

Beau pauses. He pulls away, just so he can look up and meet your eyes. He still finds insecurity in yours, so he meets you with a kiss filled with heat and intent.

He's now wide awake. He plans to take his sweet time taking you apart, inch by inch.

In fact, in the back of his mind, he also plans to do better about letting his deputies help him out more at the precint so he can have a better work-life balance.

(Because going a whole damn month without the taste of you is "no bueno," in his words.)

Soldier Boy (Ben)

The man may not be very patient, or particularly perceptive, but he's not an idiot.

At least, not about sex.

He knows that you've been feigning tiredness, and generally avoiding his touch.

What's strange is that you haven't been avoiding him. You still cook for him, still share conversation with him, still insist on having him spoon you on the couch while catching him up on the past four decades of TV shows and movies.

But when he begins to sneak a hand under your oversized shirt (an old one of Ben's), caressing your hip, then dipping down to your softer stomach on the way to your panties, breaking your concentration from the movie as unease laces down your spine.

You grab his wrist on reflex, instead lacing your fingers together.

"What's the matter now?" he asks.

You look over your shoulder at him and find him frowning at you, a divot between his brows. You don't manage to hold his gaze for long.

"Sorry," you say quietly. "I'm just, um, tired."

Ben doesn't believe you, and he's direct when he calls you out on it.

Reluctant to put what you've been feeling into words, you pause the movie and leave the couch (and him) behind.

Ben is annoyed enough to follow you (and underneath, he hides an edge of concern). The conflict leads into the bedroom, where you're still unwilling to open up.

He finally stops you from walking away from him, pinning you against the dresser by your hips. He practically looms over you as he demands an answer. He knows you're hiding something — something that's had you reluctant to let him touch you.

"Is there something you wanna tell me?" he says, a raw edge of warning in his tone. "What, are you fucking somebody else?"

Shock flashes in your eyes, making you angry. "What? No!"

"Well, you seem to be getting your fill somewhere, and it hasn't been from me--"

"Are you fucking serious? I'm not..." Your lips purse. You're actually hurt that he would hurl that accusation your way--and it couldn't be farther from the truth.

You tug your long shirt downwards and cross your arms, but it's more like you're hugging yourself, shielding your body away.

Ben's brows furrow a little bit more.

Eventually you get it out; you haven't been feeling up to being intimate because you're having a hard time even looking at yourself lately.

"I know I need to, um, get back in shape," you say, taking in a shaky breath to try and steady yourself. Your throat constricts, the beginnings of tears stinging your eyes. You want to look at anywhere but at Ben. "I just haven't had much time, with everything going on. But Annie gave me this guide on some different diets, like intermittent fasting, Keto--"

"Fasting," Ben intones. "What, you wanna fucking starve yourself? What the fuck is Keto?"

You sigh, barely resisting the urge to roll your eyes.

"No, not starve myself. And Keto's just..." The idea of trying to explain the new diet craze to your boyfriend is too daunting a task to consider. "Never mind. The point is, I have a plan. My hips, my thighs, my ass--"

Ben squeezes your hips at the mention of them. He happens to like the softness.

"Yeah, you've got a little extra. So fucking what?" he says, his voice deep and exacting as his gaze roams over your body. "Just gives me more to hold onto when I'm fucking you."

You utter a shocked laugh. "Ben!"

He grins lazily, and he turns you this way and that, admiring you from all angles. In his eyes, he doesn't find a side he doesn't like. You can't help but blush hotly under his gaze.

"Sweetheart, do whatever you want if it makes you feel good. But you don't need to starve yourself." His hands move to your ass, squeezing a bit harder on the plush flesh.

A yelp escapes you; he's pressing into you from the front as well, and you feel him heavy and already half-hard against you. You grab onto his arms for stability as your breaths quicken.

His attitude kind of surprises you, even though it soothes the frayed, insecure part of your soul that wants to be as beautiful and attractive in his eyes as he is in yours.

Ben is literally a super soldier. You're actually kind of jealous. The man can drug and booze hard and eat whatever the hell he wants, but his super metabolism just seems to absorb it into his washboard abs.

(The more you think about it, the more you want to smack him.)

Nothing about him isn't hard and lean, muscle and strength.

Only his hands have a measure of gentleless when they're holding you like this.

"I've just got so many stretch marks now," you begin to complain, in an emotional whisper.

He snorts. "And? You think it's anything I haven't seen?"

At that, your head tilts in consideration. Butcher's Granny Fucker remark comes to mind. You bite your lip against a smirk.

Ben crooks a curled finger under your chin. He guides you to meet his eyes, before he lures you into a lusty kiss.

It's somewhat rough because of his beard, but you still smile afterwards, leaning against him now.

"Ain't nothing about you that I can't handle," he adds, all smirking and cocky. To prove his point, he hooks those strong hands behind your thighs and lifts you onto the dresser.

You gasp and cling to his shoulders. From there, he makes quick work of ridding the oversized shirt from your body, revealing you to the cool air and his hot gaze.

You take his face in your hands and bring him in for an even steamier kiss, your heart lighter and trembling with anticipation.

You've held yourself from him long enough, Ben thinks, and he has every intention of devouring you right on your old dresser -- before you two even get to the bed.

AN: 😮‍💨 I feel like each of these could've been even longer with their own one-shot loll. I wrote the Midnight Espresso-verse for Dean, partially to explore what his relationship would be like with a plus-sized reader. 💖💖

Let me know which one you liked most this time!

Join My Patreon 🌟 Get early access to new stories, bonus content, and first looks at upcoming stories, send me requests, and more!

Dean Winchester Imagines

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Beau Arlen Masterlist

Soldier Boy Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Dean, Beau + Soldier Boy Tag List (Part 1)

If you would like to get notified every time I post a story, feel free to follow my side blog @zepskieswrites with notifications on so you don't miss out. 💜

@hobby27 @kazsrm67 @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007 @mostlymarvelgirl

@thebiggerbear @roseblue373 @this-is-me19 @emily-winchester @riteofpassage77

@deans-spinster-witch @deans-baby-momma @sanscas @mxltifxnd0m @suckitands33

@kaleldobrev @spnwoman @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @pieandmonsters @trashmoutth

@globetrotter28 @adoringanakin @midnightmadwoman @chevroletdean @tayl0rfanatic

@chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @ladysparkles78 @spnfamily-j2 @everything-is-all-clear

@deansbbyx @sarahgracej @chernayawidow @mimaria420 @stoneyggirl2

@fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like @waywardxwords @waynes-multiverse @twinkleinadiamondsky

@my-stories-vault @kayleighwinchester @rizlowwritessortof @cookiechipdough @sixxteenbullets

@tmb510 @syrma-sensei @artemys-ackles @malindacath @mrsjenniferwinchester

#lovely review! 💕💕#reader appreciation #lovely mutuals #Headcanon: Body Insecurity & Appreciation

724 notes · View notes