#//a very poor excuse for a character intro

[makiswirl]

can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest

like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!

[xclowniex]

Okay I need peoples opinions in this.

There is a tik tok creator and author who has a series on tik tok they're trying to turn into a book called Cafae Latte.

It is this very queer and diverse series. All characters are played by one woman, the creator who is white.

She has 2 jewish characters, both are dragons who shape shifted into humans. One wears a magen david and the other is orthodox and wears a tichel. The creator wears them when portraying the respective characters

Now I have an issue with this for a few reasons which all fall under the big glaring thing of, they didn't consult any jews or do any research past the surface!

First issue of business is the tichel. I do find it incredibly disrespectful for a non jew to wear a tichel when you're portraying a Jewish character and you can't even get tzniut correctly. It wasn't until they finally got a tichel, that they learnt thay they needed to cover their collar bone and elbows. Especially when you also don't call it a tichel and just call it a "jewish head covering". If you're trying to make a Jewish character who keeps tzniut, these are basic things you should know if you did any research!

Second order of business, the magen david. I do find this disrespectful as it's not really for non jews to wear???? Like it's not like you commit this great atrocity by wearing it. But considering their poor rep with the character above, I doubt they know anything meaning behind it and why its important to jews. Plus it's pretty much literally just used to signify that the character is Jewish and that's it.

Thirdly order of business, idk how else to start this besides, they unjewished hebrew??????

Like they were creating a family crest for one of their jewish characters and had this design with the tree of life and some hebrew and wanted help on getting the hebrew correct and said "hebrew speakers and that probably include jews, I think. I need your help with this hebrew".

Like excuse me what. Not all jews speak hebrew and not all hebrew speakers are jewish, but the majority of hebrew speakers are jewish. Adding jews as this after thought which may technically be included is awful.

Last order of business. This time, not about the jewish characters but the arab and muslim one.

Therre is this character they play who is a Muslim arab amercian and they said in their intro post for this character "I'm not sure which arab country specifically she is from as I'm not educated enough". Like excuse me what. There are cultural differences between different arab countries, not in a way which they're completely different from each other but it is a thing.

And to make matters worse, she has a YouTube video giving tips on writing diversity well.

And idk it just really irks me as they are a published writer, who is all about good diversity representation yet can't even do it properly. Consulting jews, not even jews actually, hebrew speakers to use their words, is not enough to give good rep. You need to talk to rabbis, jewish community leaders in general.

[demonslayedher]

Checking fic details means I was spending more time back in the Infinity Fortress and ahaha unnnnngggghh it hurrrrrttttssss but these movies are gonna be soooo goooood

So anyway a thought

You know how we have a "Song of Kamado Tanjiro" and "Song of Kamado Nezuko"? What if we get a "Song of Agatsuma Zenitsu" and a "Song of Hashibira Inosuke"?

Pacing-wise it might be hard to fit them in if they are as long and slow as Tanjiro's and Nezuko's, but a little bit of lyrics would be nice. I wonder how they'll incorporate a pinky promise song, or up the drama of Zenitsu's Thunder Breath BGM?

I'm really not ready to hear what new arrangements we'll get of older theme music. Waaaaaaaah. Anyway, playing with more thoughts about the movie adaptations:

Here's how I would break up the movies:

First off, Sunrise Countdown is getting its own that doesn't get announced until after these three air. There's just too much content to picture all of it squeezing into three movies.

First movie:

Takes a little time on set-up and exposition--they will have to assume some people are watching and don't know the backstory, or only watched Mugen Ressha. Not a full backstory, but enough to remind us of the Kagaya and Muzan encounter and everybody dropping in. The manga has us checking in Hashira upset over Kagaya's death, after all.

Gives us Douma's back story

Shinobu's last stand, probably with a very sad spin on her theme music

Builds up Zenitsu vs Kaigaku as the climax (and if it's treated as the climax, that's an excuse for a special intro song)

Ends with Tanjiro battling Akaza, Akaza affirming that Tanjiro has gotten stronger and Tanjiro reaffirming Rengoku's worldview

Movie 2

Exposition to remind us all where everybody is (poor Kanao has been battling Douma in the background of a volume's worth of manga and is already bloody by the time we check in on how she's doing after the Akaza, after all--Douma crying about Akaza finally GAVE HER A BREAK)

Full on Akaza battle, starting with Giyuu attaining a mark (and this also gives us some set-uo for Inosuke's role in this film since Tanjiro has him in flashbacks)

Akaza flashback

Kanao and Inosuke finish Douma off, with Shinobu coming back in for the climax of this film.

Although Inosuke's glory is shared with Kanao and Shinobu, giving him a special insert would balance his role with that of Zenitsu's in the first film.

Leave off with a reminder of what everybody else is up to, especially Tamayo running out of time with Muzan

Movie 3

Tanjiro is more of a framing device in this one rather than actively involved, it starts with him getting Senjuro's letter, so we already have Sun Breath on the brain

Bam, it's Koku vs everybody

Bam, the Nakime battle for some brevity

Baaaaam, it's Koku's backstory (I got this idea years ago, and I still would love to see his backstory staged as Shin-Kabuki)

Baaaaazzzzammm, more characters are dying and we are in paaaaainn, but Koku's defeat is well-earned climax shared among Genya + Hashira

OHHHH HELLLL NAAAAH IT'S MUZAN AND THE CORP MEMBERS ARE GETTING SLAUGHTERED

Maybe or maybe not ends with Yushiro crashing the fortress, maybe or maybe not ends with Tanjirou looking like he's died of Muzan-blood

It'll at least include Tanjiro getting pissed off at Muzan and then Ufotable announcing they are still gonna get more movie moneybout of us the following year because the hype train in infinite.

Also, through--maybe they'll slip in more of the excessive Taisho Secret details that Gotouge had no room for, like details about Hakuji's rival who poisoned the well, or Kaigaku rejecting Jiichan's haori,or Tamayo's efforts to avoid consuming human blood? How long will the run time on these things be, anyway??? My butt is ready for marathon movies, Ufotable.

Anyway. Man, I've had a day. This arc is wild and it's going to make for phenomenal animated scenes. Not only pain!! There will be coolness beyond the pain! But dang it, there will be SO MUCH PAIN

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: BONUS- Chapter 22

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

Yall I am sick as heck. I tested for the plague and it does not seem to be that, but I defo have a head cold/sinus thing going on.

I did something wild and a little unhinged and made my matcha latte with a protein shake like i'm some sort of athlete instead of a feeble old man. I also have enough vitamins running through me courtesy of ener-c to fuel a football team.

Still feel like ass, but this chapter was a solid up to my day.

Before we even get into it, based on the title of this chapter I can already tell I am not ready. The fact that there are TWO Binghe's is already telling me there is a metric shit-ton of threesome PWP on Ao3

Oh! okay! It's like an immediate continuation of the story. I totally thought we would be skipping a bunch of time or something, yay! this is a good surprise. p11

I forgot about the bamboo house replica LBH made for SQQ. It is so cute that he got the bamboo to actually grow in this realm. p11

LOL ofc LBH is sulking because SQQ will not sleep in the same bed as him. p12

I feel like based on the chapter title and the behaviour of the Binghe we have here that this is not the sweet Binghe we know and love. p15

How has LBH constantly pulling AWAY from SQQ not triggered some red flags for this man. Normally LBH makes every excuse to attach himself to SQQ. p16

okay LOL now SQQ finally questions it p18

Ming Fan you fucking narc! No one asked you to go get the other peaks involved. so rude! p19

Dang. Liu Qingge really is all or nothing. He is truly doing the lords work trying to constantly save SQQ from himself. The fact that he keeps picking up his literal shit every time this guy gets himself into A Situation is telling. Not enough respect for this guy, truly. p21

Oh god, well. RIP SQQ because this LBH is most definitely an imposter! p23

(I literally cannot read what I wrote for this note/I think my hand was working slower than my brain and many words are missing in the sentence. I think I was TRYING TO SAY): This Binghe is evil as shit and SQQ still has not confirmed. I am a little bit worried if this Binghe is here- where is the other one????? Is he okay??? p26

Yeah! You correct that asshole Ying Ningning. (If you can't tell this character really grew on me- she had the glow up for sure for sure). p27

I do love that this evil Binghe get's to have some internal dialogue that we read, "Like fuck you do!" p28

OMG. This evil Binghe totally did read the BingQiu porn and is taking his "shizun" for a test run. Oh no! Does good Binghe stop this??? p31

Thank fuck SQQ finds out who this Binghe is (though he sort of was not complaining about the man handling at all). Bless for good Binghe for showing up too! pp32-33

Bless his heart, "In the end, he and Luo Binghe were too unfamiliar with each other's bodies. That was why it had taken him so long to figure out what was wrong here" P35 Okay but I do love that his response to all of this is definitely- "me and Binghe need to be more intimate in case this situation happens again. I will definitely fix this for the future".

The way SQQ is just clutching his pearls this chapter is killing me LOL the romance novel energy is too much. "Shen Qingqiu was stunned silent. Playing around with who? Playing around with me? Bing-ge you...you'd accept all corners?! Welcoming both men and women! Is this something like 'both meat and fish are fine- I'm not picky, I'll eat whatever I'm given'?" P37

SQQ: "What the fuck am I supposed to tell anyone..." Also SQQ: p39

Oh no! Bing-ge is getting into Bing-mei's head. Leave the poor boy alone, he is very sensitive. All the while SQQ is trying to get the little guy to just focus on dealing with Bing-ge. p41

Since this is a different Binghe, I have decided to add another dime to the demon blood mite bank. I believe we are at $0.60 which is TOO damn much. p44

It is highly effective! p46

Oh no. Now Bing-ge is having feelings. Understandable though- he really did get the shit story where in everything is terrible and he has no real support. Bro just wanted some softness. p47

Oop. Well. I guess Bing-mei is going to attempt to level up some skills today. p49

Luo Binghe and his Dick Weapon (TM). p52

Blessed be, we have some sort of lube. I am literally so glad for this. The way my body viscerally reacted to their last scene- this is not much of an improvement, but they are getting there. p55

Oh no, and they're both crying now. p57

Thank fuck his disciples did NOT decide to fix the roof. p60 that would have been one heck of a surprise.

Okay, but this is so tender. Look at them both growing and learning. p61

LOL LBH is DETERMINED to learn. "Shen Qingqiu knew what he wanted to ask and mercilessly spoke first, "awful." However this time, even after receiving criticism, Luo Binghe wasn't depressed. Rather, he exuberantly declared, "Yes, it was awful. Unacceptably awful." "what are you saying...?" "Because it was simply awful, this disciple requests that his Shizun assist him with further exploration." Well." p62

It could have been worse!

These two are so damn weird. Good for them, but also, it's too much LOL. One is self sacrificing, the other is needy as HELL. It must have been so weird for BIng-ge to witness; drastically different version of himself!

[toyouhellohowareyou]

Here's your ⭐

Director's cut!

Okay, so I pestered Dark to pick a fic and we're going with

Mandatory Puppy Pile

So let's get to it.

So Depletion was the first fic of @somer-writes I can remember reading. Halfway through reading I started leaving dumbass comments and getting dumbass replies.

Depletion is about the Chain being so damn hurt and exhausted and filthy they're all ready to strangle each other. Twilight, in his sleep deprived state, drags everyone together while they're sleeping despite the fact some of them very much want to not be around anyone else right now, and waking up to find you've been moved is a bit not good.

The Gang Discuss ✨Consent✨

The non-consensual puppy pile joke was born somewhere in the comments there, and eventually I had enough material to do something with it, it was also a couple of weeks after Somer's birthday and Skip (hi Skip!) had gotten us on a server together by this point. The fic summary is almost word for word the first thing I said about it in the chat.

This thing went through a lot of names, the original was Non-Consensual Puppy Pile, but it was also 'enforced', and 'compulsory' in various versions. Title change to avoid misunderstanding lol.

This one's kinda hard to breakdown because it's comedy lol. This is the funniest thing I've got published for sure. It's my second most popular by most metrics after Moon Pearls.

Okay!

The reason I did most things is "because I thought it'd be funny"

Fake out intro? 'cause I thought it'd be funny.

Four's the main narrator as I needed someone who was going to observe without getting involved in things too much and I was comfortable writing him.

Wars is the main secondary because somer ships 'em lol.

I mostly plotted this cackling to myself in my car during my commute.

The boys are jetlaggedddddddd. I couldn't use the word 'jetlag' but that's what it was.

Sky is sleeping because it's in character and cuts down the number of characters. Similar to Time faking it, the man cannot be fucked with this. He is eepy, let him rest.

Wars thinks being boring when it’s perfectly acceptable to be losing your shit is what makes you an adult. He's not entirely wrong though.

Legend tries to escape by playing fetch. There's a 'Legend tries to make fetch happen' tag no one has ever commented on but I like it.

“LEGEND TURNED INTO A RABBIT!” wails Wind.

Legend looks at himself, looks at them, runs some calculation in his head, then joins in the wailing, “TWILIGHT CAN TURN PEOPLE INTO RABBITS!” Legend immediately throwing Twi under a bus to protect his secret. The gang now believe Twilight can turn people into rabbits. This is never questioned.

Twi refusing to stop staring at Wars as he tries to take a leak and everyone giggling about it. I have no excuse.

TWILIGHT POV This was fun and is most people's fav bit. He's a good boy mmmk? He's a good provider. He loves them so much. This was the original premise. He's such a dumbass, I love you wolfbrain Twi.

He leaps on it, sinking his teeth into the back of its neck. His teeth are so bad at this today! He picks up a rock and hits it many times. So noisy! But it works! I love this line okay? The mental image, he tried to chew through the back of it's neck then bludgeoned the poor thing to death when that didn't work. The boar is screaming, the children are screaming, the tone is so casual and simplistic. lol

The puppies scream in delight.

“TWILIGHT, WHAT THE FUCK?!”

They are not eating? Ah. They are too little. He needs to break it up for them. He grabs a leg and wrenches it.

“GODDESS’ MERCY AT LEAST LET ME USE A KNIFE, TWILIGHT!”

More delighted screaming.

This is most people's favourite bit including mine. Twi brain says one thing, dialogue says another lol.

Smallest puppy takes it delicately, “Thanks, Twi. Good boy.” Four just runs with it

Four is secret MVP in a lot of my stuff including this because he has The Braincell and a bit of chill. In love the boys being friends and bouncing off each other and knowing each other. Them plotting revenge against each other constantly is part of this.

Again it's Wars with Twi for the shippin'.

Wind's “This group is a nightmare, I haaaaaaate you!” Is another Depletion joke, but it was about Legend in that.

How to end it? We go full circle, Twi wakes up and is told not to let any of them leave by Sky who missed all the drama and the reason why.

He loves them so much ❤️

[noodle-anime]

just! finished saiyuki og series!!! discovered the first resurrected edition volume recently and it has been. well. it's been a journey lol

oooooooooh boy there sure was some Anatomy and Proportions happening in the first volume but it was super fun to see the art style progress actually. it encouraged me to notice more complex poses and things in the later volumes, and when there was an occasional repeat panel like Sanzo and Goku's first look it was very cool to see the difference in quality.

i have a coupla favorite panels/spreads and generally tried to pay a little more attention to how things are precisely laid out and it was a fun aspect of reading. i want to do some actual breakdowns now, maybe compare early and later layouts.

also! i discovered and watched zeroin! my first intro to saiyuki was discovering reload blast forever ago. the art style in zeroin and the fact that there's a whole set of characters i'd never heard of before made it feel like an au or semi-canonical anime movie, sorta, but i enjoyed it So much and there are some specific notes on sanzo characterization that i want to dig into

sanzo is my fave and the kami-sama arc was So Very Good in that respect but it also grew my love for gojyo three sizes.

the way that they all react when gojyo leaves cracks me up so much. they're So Offended. something so funny and also so tasty that they will not under any circumstances admit out loud that they care about gojyo and miss him so instead they're like we are going to Hurt Him (because he hurt us) for Disrupting Our Daily Routine (he's a fundamental part of our lives) and FORCING us to turn this car around (he left with the full knowledge and expectation that they would follow through with actually continuing to pursue this Very Important job like they always said they would)

mmmmm gojyo's savior complex mmmm it's good.

got blasted by the idea of gojyo and hakkai starting an orphanage when they're done with the mission. hakkai was a teacher and still models himself as a "childcare professional"/co-parent to goku and gojyo wants to save somebody So Badly. also good luck resocializing goku to not be killing people/fighting for his life every other day for Two Entire Formative Teenage Years, helping kids and not having it backfire spectacularly in his face would be good for him

i just read the fourth volume so that's most of what i've got on my mind, i know i have More thoughts from the other volumes

besides the fact that sanzo's joints are gonna/have gotta be So Fucked Up. he really is a grandpa. poor guy.

feels good to nail some characterization aspects like genjyo "i'm a coldhearted bastard and you'd better stay out of my way" (developed coping mechanisms to deal with the traumatic loss of a parent and people repeatedly Attacking Him at an early age) sanzo, cho "yes i'm the wife/mother, please excuse these skeletons, the cleaver is only for special occasions" hakkai, sha "i'm the only one here who understands how to be a normal person" (he does not but he does have the highest emotional intelligence) gojyo, and son "i'm a teenager" (he's a teenager, also growing up with the aforementioned trio as parental/familial figures and starting to come into his own!!) goku

not a single one of these men has had a normal relationship or even prolonged interaction with a woman

i had no idea there was a whole brainwashing segment with kougaiji?? and i really want to see more of lirin, there are fun parallels there to explore that i really wanna dig into

i had no idea to what level sanzo was a bastard gremlin with a gun who just Happens to also be the highest of high priests before and now that i do it delights me. the very hypocrisy of his acceptance in his position disgusts him because He Is Not Priest Material but also it's what his dad wanted for him so fuck everybody who tries to take that from him. in any other situation he'd be the shady penniless vagabond gun for hire but koumyou happened. and now we all get to enjoy it.

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

Random Star Trek thoughts now that my parents and I are a decent ways in to the first season of the original series. (none of us has ever seen the full show from start to finish, despite them being born in the 60's)

How many godlike alien races who want to watch the human race struggle for funsies like a twisted TV program are there in this universe

How do people dislike Enterprise when season one of the original series exists? Like how do you justify that? Kirk makes more ridiculous mistakes than Archer ever did and Kirk is around when humans have been in space for 100+ years! Enterprise was the FIRST, of course they were naive and made stupid mistakes and offended random aliens. What's Kirk's excuse? (I know out of story it's because the ~lore~ and ~worldbuilding~ were still in the process of being created, but seriously. what is people's beef with Enterprise and how DO they justify it when ssn one of the original exists?)

I love that the godlike alien races who keep kidnapping the crew have been absolutely ridiculous. Like we had the guys who wanted humans to be an attraction in their zoo and were gonna breed them as slaves to fix up their planet for them, only to finally check out Earth's history and go "wholy crap you guys are VIOLENT when in captivity you know what never mind we are afraid of you now plz leave". And then the guys who owned the planet that made whatever you were thinking of real (including, but not limited to, Alice in Wonderland characters, a tiger, a medieval knight, Kirk's Irish nemesis from college, and a WW2 plane that started a strafing run on the poor souls who accidentally summoned it) but neglected to tell the humans what was going on until after Bones DIED. Allegedly. But they brought him back to life, so it's good, right? And then there was the dude who kidnapped Kirk to hunt him for sport based off ancient Earth customs he thought he knew and turned out to be a celestial kindergartner whose parents intervened and grounded him for not playing nice with the people he brought to his planet. And THEN there are the people with the AUDACITY to call humans primitive and violent when they arrested Kirk and the captain of the ship he was pursuing (this is the Gorn episode btw) and plonked them down on the planet to fight to the death and watched it like a tv show because Enterprise and the Gorns dared to enter the part of space NEAR their SOLAR SYSTEM. Not near their planet, their SOLAR SYSTEM. And that's only like, half of them, maybe, I can't keep up with this.

The objectively and unironically best part of every episode is the intro with the silly music and Enterprise flying at high speeds directly at the screen in the most 60's cheesy special effect way possible. I laugh every time.

So very very glad I have watched the movies because the character development is taking a LONG time to get anywhere (I know this is partially due to the fact that the episodes were filmed and aired at different times but wowie).

We found the story about how Martin Luther King Jr. convinced Nicole Nichols to stay on the show and it melted all our hearts and I love her character so much more now.

It took so long for actual ALIENS to be in this space show, seriously, the first like 10 episodes are just How Many Ways Can Humans Sabotage Themselves ~in SPACE~?

Love that humans are so unhinged in this. We cannot be stopped, we WILL improvise adapt and overcome. 10/10 space orc energy.

Actual conversation: My mom: I didn't know if maybe you needed a break from Star Trek. me: mom I used to binge watch classic Doctor Who. I'm fine.

Okay, I'll stop, I am really enjoying it for the most part, especially as the characters personalities start to come out more. As far as I can tell it only gets more enjoyable from season 1 so I'm looking forward to the other seasons!

[dandyshucks]

okay okay here we go - very messy off-the-cuff oc intro under the cut with some design sketches + doodles (IT'S KIND OF LONG):

random other doodle (another system member's self portrait i think? idk djfkdl) for the last pic there sorry fhdksl it was just a handy photo i had on hand that had almost the same dimensions for tumblrs cropping shenanigans (also that one emoji is there in the first pic bc i couldn't get that eye to cooperate fjkdkl)

anyhowdy uhhmm heres Theodor and Philby... Theodor uses he/she and Philby uses they/it and I'm literally just now realizing that they cover the main four bases wtf ... that was not intentional but it is funky and fun !! Theodor has a few nicknames like Teddy, Dory, Theo, etc, while Philby is is just Philby (their full name is Philbert but only their parents call them that LOL)

Theodor has a port wine stain birthmark on his left cheek ! and Philby potentially has rosacea but I'm still looking into that to make sure I'm not pulling any shitty moves if I'm going to have that be a part of their character. they (Philby) use mobility aids occasionally, generally just a cane, sometimes crutches, but they also have a wheelchair on hand for more difficult days.

Teddy is an interesting mix of very patient and loving while also sometimes cocky and impulsive, so he sometimes say things that are unintentionally hurtful or offensive (but is learning to apologize swiftly to help mend his mistakes). to people who don't know him well, he might come across as arrogant occasionally. he enjoys designing clothing items that Philby will often sew up for him, as well as experimenting with different coloured art mediums (pastels, paint, chalk, etc) and makeup (he is absolutely a skincare girlie fjfkdl). he comes from a family that's well-off (definitely upper class but not necessarily wealthy) so he's used to having money to throw around and doesn't quite fully grasp what it's like to be poor or working (or even middle) class, so there's some butting of heads there.

Philby comes from a working class family, not poor but definitely lower class lol. they have a fair amount of pride and can be kind of prickly, but they're extremely thoughtful and can be very kind and patient when they want to be. they're very practical and well-organized, and is integral to keeping things running smoothly in the household. they're very skilled with sewing and they also happen to be a good cartoonist! it takes a bit for them to warm up to new people, but they're usually just neutral and maybe a bit blunt with people they don't know well. if they dislike a person, they tend to have an attitude of "i don't want to waste any of my time on this person" and avoids the person rather than taking the time and energy to decide if they want to be pointedly rude or remain polite.

both of them are really good with kids in their own way! Philby likes being fun and clownish while Teddy prefers to be more of a comforting ... well... teddy bear sort of presence LOL. both of them are super patient w kids though, and they love to spend time helping out with kids when someone needs a babysitter! (why yes this is almost entirely just an excuse for me to think abt how they'd be so good with the kiddos in our system LMAO) if they ever ran a daycare or preschool together they'd be absolutely phenomenal at it, especially since they make up for what the other lacks in their approaches to interacting with children.

Theo prefers kitschy grandma-type aesthetics in both clothing and decor, while Philby enjoys a lot of bright colours and fun patterns that would fit more into "c.lowncore" and "k.idcore" aesthetics (with some occasional punk influences). Theo enjoys a lot of clothing that is maybe considered more feminine, while Philby just wears whatever is comfortable and brightly coloured, occasionally with some blacks to make the colours pop more!

they have a really interesting contrasting dynamic, Theo being a "gentle giant" while also being somewhat impulsive and more prone to hurting people accidentally with his words, and Philby being smaller in stature and more prickly but also much more thoughtful and careful with their words and actions.

also bonus funny thing: Theodor had a trad g.oth phase as a teen in highschool that lasted a couple years hehe

[bearmemesreviews]

FotW: SDMI - The Song of Mystery

Well, it looks like we have a special case on our hands, as we have not one but TWO creatures for our fifth MI review. For this occasion, we'll do things a little differently than usual. Can our new ghouls beat the Crab Man as our current contender for best monster so far? No.

However, we still have to review them so let's talk about Que Horrifico and the use of Mayans in Horror Media. Yeah, we gotta address this at some point. Cultural influence is unavoidable in all genres, but there is a tendency to use a very quickly researched creature or even deity from other cultures to give a name to what might as well be an original demon or spirit in a kids cartoon or other horror media. This can range from passible, and sometimes informative, deep cuts in mythology getting representation in the mainstream for future creators to further research and enjoy - or it can result in what happened to many Indigenous Spirits I cannot name.

Not gonna' go deep into the Cannibal Deer furries white people call a name you aren't even supposed to state if you don't want to bring misfortune upon yourself but understand that I think the "let artists do what they want" mantra is a cowardly and reductive way to excuse poor research and abysmal treatment of Non-White folklore. Though sometimes, like today's episode, we're just talking about a fully original entity who's meant to "evoke" a culture rather than represent it.

Lets talk about the Made-up Mayan Monster from the talking dog show.

Backstory: During a random stint of babysitting for Daphne (genuinely the weirdest member of the gang to use for this role, and she never does this again), she hears a pan flute being played outside of her kid's house. Before she can check it out, a commotion draws her to the boy she was sitting to find him transformed into a monster. Now "Spookified", as the show puts it, the child proceeds to attack Daph and chase her out of the house.

The kid doesn't follow her as she runs outside, but Daphne soon discovers that the entire neighborhood has had its children turned into monsters. Before the intro, we see the mummified pan flute player disappear into some mist.

Daphne draws the rest of the gang into the mystery, and they soon discover that the entire town of Crystal Cove has slowly been overrun by the monster kids. The adults in town - including those without children possibly? - are then literally driven away, unable to return to their homes as the kids remain Spookified even during daytime hours. Effectively abandoning their kids to their own bestial devices.

This will not be the worst parenting you'll see in this show.

The first suspect, and not just for the Mystery Gang, is Luis de Potrillo, an exchange teacher for Honor's Social Studies. It is through his class that the cast find out about the fictional "legend" of Que Horrifico, who has no real origin but acts as a Pied Piper-esque boogeyman for South America.

Mr. Potrillo also suspects himself, believing that he's turning into the monster like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Sometimes these weird one-off characters show up in future episodes, but it feels odd when some just drop off the face of the earth like this guy. Especially since he's one of the few adults in town who don't treat the gang like garbage.

Reveal: The culprit is fairly obvious since she's the only other newly introduced side character of the episode, child genius and Fred's current Civics tutor Mary Anne Gleardan. The children turn out to not be actual monsters, as a turned-on television eventually makes them break character just to sit down and watch a cartoon. The kids were merely dressing up as miniature ghouls at the behest of Mary Anne who promised them "Utopia" - before finally getting their full cooperation with the promise of free candy instead.

Jamie Neutron here wanted to be part of the Town's council, since she's obviously smart enough to actually run it, but was rejected for her age. And like most child geniuses, she had the technical skill and smarts to create a convulated scheme to scare every adult out of Crystal Cove to turn it into some kind of Kinderstate. However, she still retains the child-like logic of not realizing what that actually entails since she'd have to eventually create her own police state filled with nothing but toddlers in Halloween makeup.

They canonically throw this child into jail for how much money the town wasted on trying to merchandise Que Horrifico.

Design: Que Horrifico, which you can tell with a rudimentary knowledge of Spanish means "How Horrific", is a "Mayan inspired" monster that is otherwise a fully original creature. It wears a semi-golden mask and ragged poncho based on the South American culture. Its mask is evocative of a monkey, with those Rangda teeth that jut outwards and "earring"-like shapes built beneath its molded ears. There's a metal piece attached to the "hat" that's also part of the mask, resembling those antennae-shaped features you'd see on a samurai helmet.

The show surprisingly never makes an Egyptian mummy, which is a staple of Scooby-media, and instead makes Que Horrifico a mummified ghoul with dull blue skin, black nails, and tattered bandages wrapped around most of its body with a few gaps for easier movement. Its hair is also long and white, connecting its design to the Spookified kids in a cool way.

As for The Spookified, they all resemble the child extras under the makeup, but with longer white hair and eyebrows, clawed extremities, fangs, and glowing yellow eyes. They mostly act like Gremlins and use their youthful energy to leap and flip around like a swarm of fast zombies. They're clothing is also torn up a bit, and they resort to hissing and growling while in-character.

I'm at odds with Que Horrifico, though I think the creature kids are a decent design for what amounts to a non-zombie "Horde". It feels odd how they avoided actually drawing any inspiration from real mythology and mostly did a South American "take" on the Pied Piper. It's not even bad, just weird, but as a Horror enthusiast who's experienced the way media and their fandoms butcher cannibal spirits and Hoodoo it does make me more forgiving when a show plays it safe.

In a way, I feel like Que Horrifico WOULD exist as a folktale, but specifically one made up by locals to scare tourists into behaving better. ESPECIALLY, if they're dragging their kids along for the trip. It's design is also just really cool, I can't comment on the mask because it could just be utter nonsense from a Geographical or Historical standpoint - I'm not the crazy teacher, I don't know what those masks specifically mean.

From a quick glance though, the semblance to a monkey might be intentional because Howler Monkeys in Maya culture are considered wise and are often connected with artistry - fitting both the culprit and her gimmick.

Final Ratings

Que Horrifico: 4/5

The Spookified: 3/5

Hmmm, maybe I should review the creature design of Maya and the Three...

[wench-and-jezebel]

NCIS Reaction: Minimum Security

Wench (@scripted-downfall) reacts.  At a later time period, and without having seen Wench’s reaction, Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts.  Comparisons may be made as a result.

“If my old man finds out I’ve been biking with you, he’ll kill us both” “I’ll get you a ride.”  Sounds like they might not just have been biking, if’n ya know what I mean.

[“Don’t get your thong in a twist”]

“What if he doesn’t stop?”  “Oh, he’ll stop.”  Buddy, I’m not sure I’d be so certain about that

Ohhhhh, the poor bike :(((( 

I understand him being pissed about the bike, for real.

That doesn’t change the fact that the guy’s already dead, I bet y- [Aghhhhh’ ☠️☠️☠️  Well he ain’t gonna be wishing shit lol]  WHAT DID I SAY!!!  (Should I start keeping a prediction counter?  I think I should.  Prediction Success: 1)

[Aight imma say it. Gibbs is handsome.  There I said it.  Add it to my weird list]  I don't get this one, but that's not much of a surprise to me these days alksdjf  [Idk it’s his smile. Kinda Tom cruise-y but 🤷🏻‍♀️]

I love the sections of the intro belonging to Tony and Abby.  His lil wave?  Her lil jump?  So cute.

Blegh.  BLEGHHHH.  “RUN THE GUT FOR ME.”  BLEH.

Ducky’s assistant’s name is Gerald, btw.

If not gallbladder stones, then… Diamond smuggler?

“They’re stones, doc.”  Diamonds looking possible.

Oh, come on!!!  EMERALDS???? 

[Emeralds.  Well shit]

I’m so annoyed now.  I think diamonds should count.  The point was there; “gemstones” was the correct answer.  I just didn’t get the exact gem right.  Hmph.  Now I’m unhappy.  You know what?!  I got the gemstone part right, so.  (Prediction Success: 1.5)

I also got the smuggling part right, so… (Prediction Success: 2.5)

[God I’m glad Tony brought his hair back forward.  The slicked back wasn’t it.] Agree.

Tony being linguistically pedantic makes me happy; I relate

TONY BEING SO HAPPY ABOUT GOING TO CUBA MAKES ME SO HAPPY TOO!!!  HIS CACKLE?!!?!  MY BELOVED. [Tony is so happy]  (Same Brain Cell — SBC — Count: 1)

[Sir how many times you gonna swap which way you’re wrapping that cord]

Oof, NCIS agent is involved.

“The women I date think the smell of sawdust is sexy.  That’s probably why I don’t date many women.”  Gibbs.  Ma’am.  Excuse you.  Sawdust is amazing.  The smell is awesome.  I would not date Gibbs, but the sawdust is not the issue.

All of these characters spilling Gibbs’ coffee… damn, what a waste.

“The Navy’s giving us a priority ride today.”  TONY FINALLY GETS HIS PRIVATE JET RIDE!  He looks so disbelieving; he’s adorable.

Oh.  Okay, apparently it’s not a private jet ride, and is very uncomfortable, but still.

OH.  Apparently it is a private jet ride.  HAH!

Dude, this looks like the Criminal Minds jet.  [It looks like the criminal minds plane] (SBC Count: 2)

Gibbs bemoaning the comfortable seating because it’s not uncomfortable; madam, calm yourself.  A little comfort will not harm you.

Poor Tony, keeps getting his hopes up about the trip, only to have them dashed.  Then again, the last times this happened, things were then better than he expected, so maybe he’ll get his horseback riding et al. after all!

Okay, I suppose I should have said: Oof, NCIS agent might be involved.

NO BUT TONY PULLING UP THE AIRPLANE STATS ON THE TOUCHSCREEN IS SO RELATABLE; I DO THAT ALL THE TIME.  Whenever I fly (very rare occurrence), I always stare at the air temperature and watch it change alsdkjf. Gibbs actually looked vaguely annoyed-but-endeared, and I approve.

“Anthony DiNozzo”  Whoa, we’re being fancy

[HES CHEESING SO HARD. i can’t even]

[I love her hair cut]

I know she said “there’s a map in it”, but my subtitles got cut off and it reads “there’s a man in it”

Y’all are really not being subtle, ngl.

“So, is there something going down that I should know about?” SEE?!?!?!

Wow, they were even more unsubtle than I thought.

[I half-remember this one]

That scene change was… abrupt.

I like Tony’s shirt.

Are Kate and Tony gonna bicker over room placement

I KNEW IT.  (Prediction Success: 3.5)

Kate saying Tony’s sexist in past episodes and also being the character who pulls the “I’m a woman” excuse more often than anyone to get her way

[I love Abby]

Are they still bickering over room placement

Please tell me Gibbs takes the room they were fighting over

WHAT DID I SAY; HE REALLY WENT AND DID THAT! I’M ON A ROLL (Adding two becuase they were still bickering over room placement btw.  Prediction Success: 5.5) [He took the bed with the bath I love it]  (SBC Count: 3)

[Tony.  You child.  I love it]

IGUANAAAAAA.  [Oh man, iguana]  (SBC Count: 4)

Poor Tony aksdjflkasjdf. Pulling his gun on the iguana.  [HALT]

To be fair, if I woke up with a strange lizard on my pillow, two inches away from sleep-clogged eyes, I might flip out too.  Especially since it was hissing.

[The wink at the fact Tony sleeps in the nude, though.  Kate!  You dog!]

Kinda poor Benjamin, but also.  He seems annoying.

I love Abby’s choker.  And her gloves.  (My brother bought my sister fingerless gloves and didn’t get me any and now I’m left mourning what could have been.). Abby’s are still cooler than my sister’s though.

I know this dude… OH.  HE’S THE MUSEUM CURATOR IN THE MUMMY ISN’T HE

Tony being followed by the iguana saldkfj 

[That iguana staring him down. He like what he saw in bed lol]

“Might want to keep that door shut; iguanas’ve been known to wander inside”. Yes.  Tony knows.

[Tony’s whole damn looks change with his hairstyles]

I love the word “rapport”

“Did I say both of you?”  “Well, you didn’t not say both of us.”  “She’s kinda got a point there, boss.”  The Kate-and-Tony-versus-Gibbs interaction I always knew we needed.

btw, Tony calling Gibbs “boss” is adorable

Ooh, Gibbs, why you having Kate stay, huh?

Did.  Did they just randomly time-skip from him leaving to him coming back?  I’m confused.  [Did the video time skip… did it go from Tony leaving to Tony being back]  (SBC Count: 5)

[Lord Tony’s gonna be out there dancing ☠️]

“Shane.”  “Who’s Shane?”  “Alan Ladd.”  “Who’s Alan Ladd?”  BUDDY

“Why aren’t you praying?”  Don’t assume, Ka-  WHAT DID I SAY.  “I’m Presbyterian.”

IS HE ASKING ABOUT SHANE- I LOVE IT

“Oh, you young people don’t know what good movies are.”  Speaking as a person on the younger end of the gamut while still having been raised on classics, I can attest that modern audiences have suffered in movie quality.  In my opinion, at least.

“‘Splat’ isn’t violent?”  Love you, Tony.

“Are you here to check me out?”  Flirtatiously: “Define ‘checking out.’”  I SEE YOU, TONY

Buddy’s not even subtle rn, is he?  That was blatant flirtation.

[Tony. You blew that one]

I feel like pulling out Paula has some serious risks attached.  Yeah, she might be dirty, but she might not be, and her rapport is being screwed up as a result.

Tony playing the desperate flirt at the bar over here.

[She came back]

“If you don’t like me, then why do you keep coming over here for refills.”  “I like the game.”. “Me too.”  ngl, really hoping she’s not corrupt because the banter is decent.  And since McGee isn’t in this one, I’ve gotta take the repartee where I can get it.

 BUDDY GETS HIS DANCEEEE.  Tony, I’m so proud.

OOP-  That spin was slick; Tony, I commend you

— — — 

Stopping here because we’re at a scene change for the midpoint reaction!

I confess I’ve not much to say… It very much annoys me that this show has been very guilty-until-proven-innocent, without many instances where that changes; I mean, just from what springs to mind, there was the episode where the group was convinced the kid committed suicide; the naval folks were taking drugs; and now this, the ep where they’re all assuming that Cassidy is dirty from the fact that the vic had her (his coworker’s) male in her care.  They always assume, even when it’s illogical to do so, that the obvious is factual.  And I think that’s part of why I keep making predictions to the contrary, tbh.  I want them to be wrong because I want them to face their illogic each time, instead of getting lucky.  (But, I recognize, sometimes they’ll be right even if their logic isn’t sound, so I guess that’s fair.). Anyway, I want Cassidy to be innocent because of that, even if it doesn’t make sense given the story, but I’m not making that a prediction.

Mourning McGee’s absence; appreciating Kate and Tony, and Gibbs is not bad.  On we go!

— — —

I’m cringing just thinking about swallowing those emeralds; they look sharp.

Okay, I’m sorry, but I’m vaguely suspicious of museum-curator-translater dude.  Like, ever since I saw Shutter, where Ben’s lying to Jane about what the photo shaman dude was saying?  I never trust that translators are adequately conveying the message.  Call me cynical, but ‘tis true.

Tony dancing with Cassidy is so cute, I’m sorry.

Damn, Gibbs, be even more blunt about it why don’t you; that wasn’t harsh enough

Iffy acting, but I can’t tell if it’s actress or character

She really shouldn’t just hand over her apartment keys, I’m reasonably confident.

Tony looks vaguely conflicted about having to search Cassidy’s apartment

IGUANA.  [IGUANA]  (Damn, that one was blatant; SBC Count: 6)

“You were so excited coming to Cuba and riding on the jet” It’s true, Kate, he was adorably excited.

“You were the first woman I saw on my ‘endorphin high.’”  “Yeah, well.  We work together, Tony.  It’s like a brother-sister thing.”  Ma’am clearly has not seen any of the countless films, shows, fics, and irl interactions that feature in-office romances.  

WAIT NO I’M AN IDIOT; SHE HAD AN IN-OFFICE ROMANCE?!?!?!  IN THE PILOT?!!??! MA’AM, WDYM?!?!

“You might wanna take that chip of your shoulder”  Oh, of course, no problem; of course it’s okay that you searched my mail and my apartment and so on.  Not a difficulty at all.

“He blew his chance to get laid”  Oh, come on, Cassidy, it’s not Tony’s fault.  [He blew his chance to get laid. Poor Tony ☠️]  (SBC Count: 7)

Oh, are we back to terrorists again?  How.  Unique.  [TERRORISTTTTS]  (Okay, that counts.  SBC Count: 8)

Gibbs once again being vinegar-not-honey.

DAMN ABBY YOU’RE EXPENSING A LOT I SEE  [Abby ☠️☠️ racking up a bill] (SBC Count: 9)

Tony’s hair is floppy.

Did he notice that she had “Escada” perfume?  

I KNEW IT.  (Prediction Success: 6.5)

“Horizontal salsa” alksdjf ["Horizontal salsa"]  (SBC Count: 10)

I reallyyyyy want Cassidy to be good now that they’re giving Tony so much shit for caring about her.  [Tony’s done got smitten over one dance.  Buddy. 💕 *sigh*]

“Romance between agents, Kate.  It never works.”  Sir, shush.  Even if you’re speaking from experience, that proves nothing.  You’re not exactly easy to get along with. [And the romance between agents never working is coming off as an asshole rule/thought. BUT HE ISN'T WRONG AS FAR AS THE SHOW GOES]

I know my comment about the translations was about museum-curator-guy, but I maintain that it counts as half a prediction success since Sa’id was doing exactly that: not translating the whole conversation.   (Prediction Success: 7)

Abby and Ducky, again; I love you both.

[Ducky’s mother!]

DUCKYYYYY.  OMG, SIR!?!?!?  YOU’RE HILARIOUS, YOU SCANDALOUS DOG!  [You… dog? 👀]  (SBC Count: 11)

[Easter eggs ☠️☠️]

“My cursor has moved across places that would make Tony blush.”  Not Tony looking appraising!

IGUANA.

Protective!Tony is adorable.

Jeez, Gibbs, be harsher why don’t you; that wasn’t enough.

Cassidy, I stuck up for you, and now you be mean to Tony?  To make yourself look good?  Once again, these people need to stop tearing down their fellows as a means of increasing their own status.  I’m actually getting annoyed again by this.  [Tonyyyyyyy ☹️☹️☹️  “He bought my act.”  I hateeee the sad tony eps.  There’s a few.  Be prepared.]  (Does this count as SBC?)

Poor Tony.  [Poor Tony. “She’s good.” Tony’s face. Ya I agree 💔💔]  (That does.  SBC Count: 12)

“Eyes always give you away”  Poor Tony :(  [Sass tony! Get her GET HER (Eyes always give ya away)]  (SBC Count: 13)

[And she has the AUDACITY to look at him like a kicked puppy]  Like I said.  Don’t be mean to your allies to make yourself look good.

I. Do not trust this.  I’m waiting for her to pull an Elizabeth-from-24 and not go along with the plan.  Get pissed and try to kill him, or screw up the plan.

Tbh, I’m glad that didn’t happen.  I didn’t appreciate it in 24 (only partly because it was Misha who got attacked as a result), and I wouldn’t have appreciated it here.

“There.  Right there.”  I didn’t realize this was Legally Blonde: the Musical.

I’m impressed he didn’t notice the wire yet.

Did I mention, yet?  Poor Tony.

This situation was astoundingly mishandled, ngl.  [Damn plan backfired]  

[Well the back fire backfired also]  Literally lakdsfj

Poor Tony :(((  [Tonyyyyy]  (I’m counting that one too.  SBC Count: 14)

I appreciate Kate trying to help Tony.

Also, just saying, Tony is quite dashing in the suit.

TONY.  HE FINALLY GOT TO SHOW OFF THE TECHNOLOGY TO SOMEONE WHO APPRECIATED IT!!!  My goodness, he’s so adorable.

[Well his smile’s back at least.]

And that’s a wrap!

– – –

For the endpoint reaction… Be warned that I’m writing this with a killer headache (hah, pun unintended), so I’m not sure it’s 100% coherent, and it might be a bit short.

I’m glad that Cassidy wasn’t involved because, as I’ve said, they’ve got a bad habit of having snap judgements they make at the beginning be right all the way through to the end.  Unfortunately, this was about the most logical snap judgement of the series thus far, so I’m also vaguely annoyed it wasn’t right.  I’m deciding to wash my hands of it because it’s not like the characters will actually learn, but oh, well.

The writing was decent, I suppose?  Highly, highly lost as to how the hell emerald smuggling turned into terrorists again, but… I’ve given up on trying to track it.  I will say: there’s a slight possibility that reacting simultaneously to the ep is causing me not to notice stuff?  Or to track the plot?  But I doubt it.  I’m still good with Dark Angel, after all, and following it is easy.  But I guess I’ll just wait until we watch something else to decide; I legitimately cannot be sure whether the bad writing would be a little better if I were just watching it straight.  (Pretty sure not though.)

Gibbs was an asshole again, but not enough that I’m currently fuming about it, I suppose.  Kate was good; I liked her.  Abby and Ducky continue to be awesome.  McGee was notably missing, which is sad, but oh, well.

Summary of this ep: Tony deserved better.

Final thoughts as I type the end of this reaction: The chances I don't write something about this ep… Low.

[sovonight]

I'm sure you get a million asks like this about your ocs but I gave Baldurs Gate a shot after seeing your posts and man I love Xan so much. hes so pathetic and soppy and sad I say this in the most loving of ways hes so funny. my poor little meow meow of an elf. thank u for exposing me to him. as an aside tho I'm really curious; what class is Radri, and who else did you have as companions? :-0

yesss you get it! he's so pathetic (affectionate)

radri's a swashbuckler--and the swashbuckler page in the wiki begins with reasons not to play swashbuckler lol--but it’s cool and it’s been her class for so long that i couldn’t imagine changing it, for better or worse. it's like the same reason xan stays an enchanter in my games even though you can mod him out of it--i know people hate enchanter for the lack of evocation spells, but it would feel dishonest to change something so fundamental to him

in bg1 my companions were:

imoen: she’s the only family radri has left from candlekeep, she had to come along. also in bg1 i put so much focus on lockpicking for radri that she could barely disarm traps at all--so i had imoen put all her points into disarming traps to make up for it. i'd have them go around and tag team all the trapped and locked chests together… not very practical from a gameplay standpoint, but touching for me haha

jaheira and khalid: radri listened to gorion’s last advice for her, and wouldn't have thought for a moment of trading these two out for anyone else. also, i love how the npc mod adds a cautionary conversation between khalid and xan, and all the guidance conversations from jaheira. i just think they’re sorely needed in the party dynamic

xan: i think part of radri fell for xan the moment he said "shall we face the impossible together?" xan's also probably the first elf she's met--or at least spent a significant amount of time with--so there's that element of reconnecting with what should be her culture. she does get a little insecure about her lack of elven identity though; xan’s kind of oblivious to how his eagerness to share his culture with her makes it feel like their shared race is the only reason radri stands out to him, even though that isn't true

branwen (temp): picked up as a convenient 6th member after xan was recruited. i think every single companion liked her, but--

viconia: radri took one look at her, subconsciously went “she’s just like me,” and took her in. radri's at her most trusting and hopeful when it comes to viconia; she'll excuse viconia's antagonistic behavior no matter what by saying viconia will grow accustomed to surface culture soon, though in the meantime everyone else quietly misses branwen. i’ve gotta say though, it’s easier to justify viconia in bg1 than it is in bg2

in bg2, i still have jaheira and viconia, am unfortunately still taking minsc from the intro section (i don’t really like him, he’s just too loud for me), and previously had keldorn but recently had to switch him out for anomen. then there’s xan, of course, though i hate that he starts out with dart proficiency. like, darts can't even go into ammo slots so i have to sacrifice inventory slots every time i try to stock him up with darts--and when he inevitably runs out of darts, 3x faster than anyone else with bullets or arrows, i have to manually put more darts into his hand bc again they don’t go into ammo slots

then when he runs out of darts completely (which is almost all the time) i have to have him stand off to the side and micromanage him in order to make sure he remains disengaged from melee combat in-between casting spells (because of course he’ll try to walk in with the moonblade). sometimes when a fight's tough and i already have to micromanage everyone else and he’s already died 3 times bc he insists on walking forward i just move him into the other room while the fight goes on. i know i could probably mess with the ai to get him to stop doing this, but as annoying as it is i do think it’s kind of in character at the same time--in bg1 there’s an exchange where he absentmindedly starts to say "there's no better death than dying for the one i l--". which, on one hand, deathly romantic, but on the other hand sir take a time out and think on how you're going to learn to use bullets after this bc at least that way you'll share ammo with half the party

yknow, in bg1, his default ranged proficiency is in slings. i don't see why the author wanted to retcon him into using darts to the point of even making him mention it in an anecdote. is it a hotness thing? are darts are hotter than slings? was it like "i'm sure the player would rather hear that xan threw a dart at an enemy than hear that he slung a bullet"?

[sloshed-cinema]

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)

I think I understand why video game movies get a bad rap now.  From its faux-temple cold open to the over-the-shoulder intro to the Cambodia sequence, it’s clear that the adaptation from console to screen was a very literal one for Lara Croft: Tomb Raider.  You can practically see the target hitbox on the guardian statue’s face as Lara Croft pewpewpews away at it, hear the checkpoint sound when she spots a side entrance flocked by butterflies.  Dialogue is a stilted series of mission objectives at best, cloyingly poor excuses for character development or background at worst.  And it clearly didn’t really matter who is saying it: it’s difficult to say whether Angelina Jolie or Daniel Craig has the worst put-on accent.  Craig makes Benedict Cumberbatch’s accent work look as subtle and nuanced as Cate Blanchett’s.  That isn’t to say anyone will actually be listening to any of it anyhow.  The camera practically mouth-breathes as it ogles Lara Croft, whether on a raid or in the shower (though, to be fair, Alex West gets his own shower scene—progressive!), and she poses for the camera, doing some sort of bungee-cord aerial routine in her family estate’s atrium because what else do hot rich people do.  At least there was cool techno music to listen to and Lara had those cool shades that make people look like bugs.  Throw this on the pile of movies ripping off the aesthetics of The Matrix with absolutely none of the resulting cultural impact or resonance.

One thing that is mind-boggling and hilarious about the world of Tomb Raider is that there’s just literal magic out there.  When idols spring to life in the Cambodian temple, there’s no hint of clockwork mechanisms.  Nope, these baddies are powered by magical goo.  Lara mentions “time storms” as casually as if they were something that happened on the regular in the town in Kansas where she grew up.  Part of the appeal of, say, Indiana Jones, is the obliqueness with which it approached its supernatural elements.  Totenkopf et al definitely get their faces melted by the power of God at the end of Raiders, and a nigh-immortal knight guards the Holy Grail in Last Crusade.  But they’re brief endcaps to the end of a very tactile and more or less grounded adventure, a fun little button on the end of it before vanishing just as mysteriously as they appeared.  There’s something underwhelming about the pervasiveness of the magical elements, and how everything can be solved by just shooting it enough times.  Then again, this is a movie that things a 2v1 gun standoff is cool: it only takes one bullet to do the job, but why not double down?  Perhaps it couldn’t be helped.

THE RULES

SIP

Someone says ‘key’ or ‘bugger’.

A span of time is named.

“Ummm guys Angelina Jolie is hawtttt” *mouth-breathes*

Extraneous acrobatics.

Lara reloads a clip.

BIG DRINK

Literal magic.

The music becomes just utterly chaotic.

[mneiai]

Reading/re-reading a bunch of Dragon Age books and thought I'd give my quick thoughts for the ones I've gone through the last few days:

Asunder - 6/10. Always shocked Gaider wrote it, it does not feel like someone who knows the lore or games well, except insofar that a lot of the fight scenes are "this is how I envision it would play out in the game" as opposed to ones meant to be read. I can't remember if the printed version was this bad, but either there some horrific typos in the digital version or, again, it does not feel like someone that knows the lore wrote it ("Rite of Annulment" what the fuck). Creates some weird conflicts with established lore for no good reason. Last half better than the first half and Cole, Rhys, and Evangeline are genuinely likable once it gets going, at least.

Tevinter Nights - 3/10 to 10/10. Weirdly find the Talons story incredibly engaging and the characters very interesting (though that could be my OCD-based sympathy lol) and wish it were a book of its own and not just a short story that had to rush over a lot. In fact, I'd say most of the Crows-related stories are good, as well as the ones actually set in Tevinter. The Grey Wardens ones vary in quality and the Nevarra ones read like someone took passages from the World of Thedas and told a writer they had to come up with an excuse to infodump with poor mysteries shoved in. Most of the rest were just blah.

Magekiller - 2/10. This is so bad. The intro feels like some 12 year old writing about their OC and the addition of the relationship between Marius and that one DAI NPC that never goes anywhere again makes the protags honestly look way more at fault for some of the shit that goes down in DAI than Cole ever could. And this is true about all the comics, but the art is Not Great and relies very heavily on lazy shortcuts normally found in lower quality comics. Also a lot of lowkey ableism considering how Marius comes across. Never had strong feelings about Charter before, but now I dislike her.

Alistair comics - 5/10. The collection doesn't seem to have a good name to call all these lol Anyway, some interesting parts, getting to see one of my fav Tevinter characters and the way she's handled is always nice, but the whole thing is very C-quality-DLC-plot-thrown-out-during-development. Just all over the place. Hated the Isabella stuff, what even was that? We're not even going to get into the multiple international innocents that should have happened, but the whole thing was honestly ridiculous. Mae carries this shit.

Knight Errant - 8/10. Vaea and Ser Aaron are a trope, but it's a good one for comics and well-done in this, they're very cute. Varric feels way more natural here than in the Alistair ones, not sure what's going on with Sebastian but I think that has more to do with how wishywashy he has to be for Bioware canon than anything else. Literally nothing will make me care about the Magekiller romance, though, and it's honestly weird that's the conceit for the job.

Wraiths of Tevinter - 6/10. I think this was slightly better because it had to establish some of the characters, but it wasn't great (and what the hell did they do to my poor Fenris?!). The original stuff was better than when it started mixing into the overarching comics plotline, and the fact that 50% of these DA works fall back on "Qunari Ex Machina" got very old by this point. I cared absolutely zero amount about any of the villains and the Magekiller characters felt incredibly out of place in an already large cast. If it weren't for the endearing Knight Errant team and the mabari, I'd probably mark it down lower. Also lol why am I supposed to care about a slave owner Venatori apologist just because she had a bad childhood? Literally every one of the characters had a bad childhood. Fenris and Marius were literally slaves!

Also actually sitting down and reading the World of Thedas volumes instead of just looking stuff up in them and they're...fine. I still wish they were more encyclopedia like and I'm still confused at some of the assumptions people make based on things clearly not actually said in them, but that's fandom for you.

[odd-kid-42]

The thought that the group I am in has had is that several aspects of Glenn's personality did not cause him to be sympathetic, which I can spit ball in a second. Main driver though was by ep 3's intro, the cast were calling Glenn the worst father, and I think fans took that as word of god instead of the cast trying to find the lower bound of where their characters can go and choosing Glenn.

Listing rather than rambling why I think Ron is supported and Glenn is ditched:

1) Glenn doesn't grieve like a widower "should", so he is assumed to not be taking his losses seriously. Ron meanwhile has very clear soft spots that cause him to tear up/take psych damage and is vocal about his childhood abuse.

2) Conversations about drug usage in America is a shitshow, so Glenn smoking weed in ep 1 and referencing harder drugs (which is movie knowledge of drugs; LSD doesn't cause flashbacks) is condemnable especially when cast forgets facts like how Glenn didn't know Nick was finding and smoking his weed. Ron gets to be misogynistic up to ep 63, but replicating Willy's toxic masculinity is excusable if Ron cries enough.

3) Cast for some reason cannot comprehend that Glenn, supporting his son on one salary while DJing, is poor. Poor people have to work on Christmas, especially when Glenn is a Christmas cover band musician. Freddie described a type of person who is a musician who works a physically and mentally draining job in the off-season (because DJing is exhausting, actually) and has to leave his kid alone because he has no mentioned support system, and then the cast went 'what a terrible father' like that is not a real type of parent who exists and has their child taken by the state.

4) I think the difference is that Freddie played an independent character who didn't open up often about what he is going through (*cough* Maybe a nod to how mental health services are often underutilized in AAPI communities? *cough*). Beth May played a character desperately wanting to connect to other men who won't hurt him. The latter worked better for easy storytelling in a comedy podcast, so Glenn's negative traits were highlighted.

If Willy put Ron on trial, the cast/characters would have tried harder to get Ron off. Instead you have ep 47 Talking Dads where Will Campos is arguing why Glenn deserves consequences because [tangently related anecdote about Will's high school friends' parents that doesn't apply to Glenn] and ep 48 where Henry says in the closing argument that he doesn't like Glenn and doesn't think he is a good person. The trial system would be viewed very clearly as unjust instead of 'somewhat unjust but let's listen to the points and entertain the idea that compressing 46 episodes of actions into two hours audio with half-remembered information' is accurate.

I imagine a trip into Glenn's memories like Ron's would have been sad in terms of neglect. One of the early Talking Dads has Freddie mentioning that Glenn's favorite thing to do at thirteen was to smoke weed alone in his room while listening to music. His father involved him in scams as a little kid, and Bill used the money to buy himself gifts.

Both Glenn and Ron throughout s1 were beginning to sense that they had bad childhoods, and sympathy towards Glenn + allowing Glenn and the audience to assess his past in a non-dramatic speech way would have benefitted the overall story.

you ever think about how similar Ron and Glenn are… like you ever think about how their arcs almost mirror each other, but in opposite directions? Like, ron gets better but Glenn gets worse. you ever wonder what would have happened if they swapped arcs and ron was put on trial and the dads had to go into glenn’s memories instead? how would that have changed things? (would it even change anything?)

because i have not stopped thinking about this idea… like, would glenn’s struggles be seen as more sympathetic if he was not literally being judged? would ron have been found guilty of being a bad dad/bad person? 

because why were they treated differently? (not a rhetorical question) why was one punished and the other understood? is there a possibility that it could have worked out differently? it is so so interesting to me to prod at ron and glenn’s differences, and i think examining their characters in relation to each other via swapping their arcs (either just the anchors or both anchors and finding sons) is like. really cool i guess. 

[averyabernathy]

Character Intro - Avery Abernathy

is that TOM HOLLAND wearing that HUFFLEPUFF scarf? no, it appears to be AVERY ABERNATHY who happens to be a SIXTH year and a HALF-BLOOD !! HE is CISMALE, and i heard they’re OUTGOING and LAIDBACK, but might also seem LOOSE-LIPPED and IDEALISTIC. they appear to be leaning towards the side of the NEUTRAL, but this is a conversation we should be having somewhere else. 

Playlist - Avery (Fifth Year) 

Pinterest - here

Wand: Laurelwood with a unicorn hair core, 10 ½" and slightly yielding flexibility

Boggart: Death 

Patronus: Non-Corporeal 

Moral Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Best Subjects: Charms, History of Magic

Worst Subject: DADA, Transfiguration

Plans for the Future: To Co-Run the Leaky Cauldron/ Take Over For His Uncle

Headcannons: 

Avery’s parents were both staff at St. Mungo’s, they had him rather early in life and, unfortunately, didn’t live to see his fifth birthday. Their cause of death was never clearly given to Avery but he’s pieced together enough to assume they were murdered. What for? He hasn’t the foggiest. 

He was raised by his uncle, Tom - the owner and perpetrator of the Leaky Cauldron, and began helping out around the place after his second year at Hogwarts. However, even as a young kid, he spent a lot of time hanging around and speaking with all the interesting witches and wizards who came through.

Avery’s a very outgoing person, someone who’s used to people stepping into and out of his life. He has no problem starting up conversation with strangers and building friendships with regulars. At this point, there are about two dozen people he knows by name and he can list off their usual drink orders with ease. Unfortunately, he can’t actually serve alcohol (his uncle says he’s much too young) but he does take orders and clean tables. 

He wants nothing to do with the growing divide amongst the wizarding world. The war is something he likes to ignore, pretend it doesn’t exist and hope it goes away as soon as possible. Avery’s not picking sides (but if he were to, he’d side more with the Order.)

Avery’s got a tattoo of both his parents names on his chest (over his heart), he found a spell to do it himself and just went for it. He’s yet to tell his uncle about it because the man would 100% not approve. Tom’s a cool uncle, but he’s not that cool. 

Avery’s outgoing and friendly. He makes stupid dad jokes all the time and has trouble keeping his mouth shut. If you want a secret kept, you probably shouldn’t tell him as he’s also been known to be a bit of a gossip. Sue him - he grew up in a bar. Nothing but gossip gets passed around in there. 

He’s very smiley. It takes a lot to upset him but there are a few key topics that’ll do it in an instant - his parents, death in general, the war, and transfiguration. 

[mannerofwhump]

Whump intro!

You can call me Mia. My pronouns are she/they. I have been a lurker in the whump community for the longest time, and I’d love to finally share my ideas :D (totally not an excuse to try writing more ahahahaha-)

Also, I have a whumper-turned-whumpee series planned. So look out for that >:)

(whumptober here i come. hopefully.)

List of my favourite tropes:

Whumper turned whumpee

Royalty/prince whumpee

Villain whumpee

Defiant whumpee breaking

Begging

Spy/interrogation whump

I’m not totally against, but I might pass out if I try writing them:

Eye whump

Nail whump

A lot. of gore.

I also don’t read or write non-con/dub-con sexual content (or any nsfw stuff at all, really)

And now! My very favourite blogs in whumblr who all of you should check out >:)

@oddsconvert - heeheehee it’s whumper turned whumpee of COURSE it’ll be here. izaak is just such a defiant asshole i love seeing him hurt,,,,can’t wait to see him break- (and whumpee!ronan is a GEM)

@spookyboywhump - waaaaaaa i love all your characters so much (and yes, cain is my favourite. and no, don’t come at me-) (ALSO ANDREW. MY BESTIE. HE MAKES ME GO INSANE)

@whumpsday - kane. my guy. his personality did such a 180 we love seeing him be so pathetic. baring my teeth at him as we speak. and JIIIIIIIM. poor jim :(

@befuddled-calico-whump - melchior makes me go BRRRRRR (also the most recent riot kings page???? it’s killing me a bit)

@diyalogues - i literally just found your surviving alaska winters series a few days ago but the dynamic is GOLDEN. alaska is just feral, dominic should be afraid.