#//WHAT A ROAST
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Headcanon that Shen Yuan was hotter than Shen Qingqiu, actually.
Like yeah SQQ being a cultivator gave him a boost to enough attributes + being in a stallion novel where everyone is either unrealistic hot or dog's butt ugly got the Shen Qingqiu body extra points, and he wasn't bad looking to begin with. Plus not being ill is vastly more important to the new Shen Qingqiu than those extra hotness points (Without a Cure notwithstanding). But part of the reason why he's kind of like, meh, at least I'm not hideous or anything, is because Shen Yuan's original body was a knock out.
I also like him as chronically ill, and, as many people know, beauty standards and sustained suffering are not as incompatible as they should be. Shen Yuan was conventionally attractive in part because conventional beauty standards seem to want everyone slowly dying all the time. But even setting that aside, the man had flawless bone structure, an appealing figure, captivating eyes, and the kind of voice that stopped people in their tracks.
All of which was a contributing factor to his antisocial lifestyle, actually. Despite the fact that Shen Yuan does enjoy company and requires a certain baseline of social enrichment for his enclosure, his internalized homophobia and closeting did not play well with overtures from interested parties (regardless of gender). The only way to minimize the odds of him being asked out on dates was to essentially become a shut-in, especially since even Shen Yuan can only make so many excuses before he himself starts to notice that he's going to a lot of effort to avoid specifically that avenue of socialization. Far better to just remove himself from any risk of it, and then vocally lament that oh no he's just too much of a nerd to get anywhere with women!
Anyway this largely doesn't matter much outside of sheer comedy potential for any situation where SY gets his old body/life back. Like imagine a reveal scenario where the System is going to transport them back to their old lives.
Shang Qinghua: well bro I guess this is gonna be the ultimate test of love, right?
Shen Yuan: what do you mean?
Shang Qinghua: our husbands are gonna see what we looked like back before we were glorious cultivators! they're going to have to track us down in our mundane, kinda shitty pre-transmigration lives! it's gonna be at least a little embarrassing, right?
Shen Yuan: *gets his old body back*
Shang Qinghua, normal human with average looks: ...
Shen Yuan, exemplary 11/10: ?
Shang Qinghua: what. the fuck?? bro what the fuck why are you hot???
Shen Yuan: don't make it weird
Shang Qinghua: make it weird??? why were you sitting at home reading my shitty novel when you could have been out there building your own harem???
Shen Yuan: stop exaggerating
Shang Qinghua: oh my god you've always been like this. this is it, isn't it? it wasn't even brain damage from the transmigration or something--
Shen Yuan: hey
Shang Qinghua: --you've just always been completely unaware, haven't you? every time I wrote a beautiful woman who didn't know her own appeal you'd be jumping down my throat--
Shen Yuan: because that's a stupid trope--!
Shang Qinghua: --JUMPING DOWN MY THROAT EXACTLY LIKE THAT but this whole time THIS WHOLE TIME it wasn't even a glow-up issue, you've just been that, personified, yourself--
Shen Yuan: look I know I'm not ugly but I'm not I'm hardly that good-looking
Shang Qinghua: YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO CRITICIZE THAT TROPE AGAIN! oh my god. how many broken hearts did you leave behind when you died?!
Shen Yuan: none, I wasn't even seeing anyone--
Shang Qinghua: yeah full offense but I am nottt taking your word for that. I bet you had a harem you didn't know about in this lifetime too. I bet you had a fan club, like an anime prince
Shen Yuan: *mumbling*
Shang Qinghua: what was that?
Shen Yuan: I said... only in high school...
Shang Qinghua: oh my god
Shen Yuan: it wasn't a big deal!
Shang Qinghua: *frantically trying to see if he can find any trace of it on the internet now*
#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#scum villain#peerless cucumber#shang qinghua#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#bingqiu#moshang#and shades of#cumplane#binghe was ROBBED lol not really though#he likes shizun no matter what form he's in#mobei's also into whatever airplane has going on#cumplane have the kind of relationship where one turning out hot is just more ways for the other to roast him
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Dungeon Meshi KFC christmas collab???
Edit: Roasted Falin is fanmade but still amazing
#THE ROASTED CHICKEN FALIN????#merch#dungeon meshi#christmas#idk what to tag this I'm so shocked#I saw it on weibo#Namari#Falin Touden#Izutsumi#Marcille Donato#santa
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There's an incredibly pretty girl at the front desk in Family Video, and Steve—Eddie's boyfriend of eight months—is leaning over the counter with a sly smile and half-lidded eyes.
Eddie pauses in the doorway, struck dumb for a moment as he takes in the scene, and then gleefully ducks down behind the nearest shelf.
"So tell me," Steve says, all low and intimate. "What kind of movie were you looking for?"
"Um," the girl says. She doesn't sound very enthusiastic—barely indulgent at best. Eddie wishes he could see, but any sight of him will ruin Steve's chances right now. He's got a pretty good mental picture though. "I really like those old black and white movies, the really glamorous ones, you know?"
"Oh, totally," Steve sighs, like he's swooning. "Like Cary Grant, Clarke Gabel?" Eddie can practically hear his smirk. "Katharine Hepburn? Ginger Rogers?"
"Oh, I love Ginger Rogers!"
"Really?" Steve says matching her excitement. "Well, you're just in luck! Robin here knows all about those old black and white movies, don't you Robin?"
Eddie presses a hand to his mouth to hide his snickering. Robin had looked like a hooked fish when he'd walked in, she's gotta be gaping stupidly right now. "Uuuh," he hears her mumbling, and tries not to snort too loud. "Y-Yeah, uh, golden age of Hollywood stuff, absolutely. I could? Show you where they are?"
"Oh my gosh, that would be amazing!" the girl says, her interest in the conversation now warmed by several degrees. Eddie is still a little in awe of how well his boyfriend can sniff out gay girls.
"I got the front here, Robin," Steve cuts in smoothly. "You ladies take your time, make sure you pick out a good one!"
Eddie waits another beat, listening at their footsteps shuffle away, before he pops up from behind the shelf. Steve, lighting up like a Christmas tree, beams at him.
"Am I a genius or what?" he whispers, grinning ear to ear.
"Your lesbian powers know no equal," Eddie says just as quietly, taking the girl's spot at the counter, leaning into Steve's space. Steve happily mirrors him, until they're tucked together, the world narrowing down to the two of them. It's Eddie's favorite place to be. "All hail Steve Harrington, blessid he, lesbian whisper. Come to aid all useless queers in the fight against singledom."
"Thank you, thank you," Steve says with an air of novel benevolence. "I promise to only use my powers for good."
"Dingus. Doofus."
They jump away from each other as if shocked. Robin glowers at them both, but the pretty girl behind her is giggling and standing way too close for friendly, just at Robin's elbow.
"Move it, lovebirds," she hisses as she rounds the desk. "I need to check Claire out."
"I think you already have," Steve says. His smile this time is down right evil.
Robin actually hisses at him, and hip checks him away from the register. Eddie does a bow, sweeping his arm out to give Claire the prime spot in front of the desk, before he turns back to Steve.
"My dear, if you could please," he simpers, all posh and nasally. "Show me to your finest, grossest horror movie, thank you my good sir."
"Ugh," Steve groans already heading off into the shelves, not waiting for Eddie to follow. "You're lucky I love you, Ed. Shit gives me nightmares."
"I know," Eddie sings, chasing him. "I love you too."
#steddie#stobin#steve is the barney to robin's ted mosbey#what a horrifying sentence but the sentiment is there#oh no a himym steddie + buckingham au when???#ANYWAYS just imagine the store is totally empty and steve saw this chick at dyke night when robin dragged him along one time#so he felt super confident in the safety of being a lil more open#this was silly i actually wanted to write it about eddie being in love with steve's evil nasty face when he brutally roasts robin/everyone#instead it was this thank you for your time#my steddies
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dan and phil style swaps
#dan and phil#danisnotonfire#daniel howell#phil lester#amazingphil#dpgdaily#phan#dnp gifs#danandphilgames#my gifs#compilation#Dan and Phil Dress Each Other#Phil is not on fire 9#Giving The People What They Want#PHIL'S BIRTHDAY CHARITY STREAM!!#DAN'S BIRTHDAY CHARITY STREAM!!#ROASTING DAN’S ‘FASHION’
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i bring you: my casual clothes tankman design (and steve too) i am so normal about found family tankdad
happy pride month lol
#pico's school#tankmen#fnf fanart#fnf#fnf pico#moon art#feel free to roast me for my weird design decisions#or ask me questions abt my design decisions! pls talk to me about my art it would make me happy. my askbox is always open#tankdad#friday night funkin#pico newgrounds#pico fnf#friday night funkin'#tankman#sergeant john captain#tankmen captain#tankmen steve#steve tankmen#daddy dearest#fnf daddy dearest#newgrounds#i posted sketches of him to ng last year but he looks so much better in these that the old pics make me cringe lol#this was a lot of time and effort for what amounts to glorified doodle sheets but. listen.#had to introduce him to y'all properly before i potentially go stupid go crazy with him#cw smoking#cw alcohol#edit: yall goin nutty damn. someone on ng called him a dilf too its fucking over#1k
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I think its very funny that throughout most of Marcel’s trial, Childe was just sat there in the audience probably bored out of his fucking mind
All he probably wanted was a fight LMAOO
#Genshin Impact 4.0#4.0 genshin#4.0 spoilers#genshin impact#childe#tartaglia#neuvillette#focalors#furina#navia#lumine#Uhmmmm#idk what else to put here#<3 <3??#i think fontaine’s pretty neat#hoping burnout wont roast me to death
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i've seen a poll about gale and anders but i feel like this one is a more difficult one to answer
#baldur's gate 3#dragon age#see i think astarion wouldn't want to damage his nails. but also he has vampire reflexes#on the other hand fenris is.... fenris#personally imma go with fenris#edit: ok apparently y'all think this is an easy question sjdjsksk#no i legit was trying to be fair to astarion! he is pretty strong in melee (especially when he fights dirty)!#i mean it he's the dps in my party full of casters (maybe that's the problem...)#edit 2: my soul is pledged to fenris but istg y'all are so mean to astarion in the tags 😭😭😭#edit 3: okay fine i should've said a fight instead of a fistfight..... sorry astarion#you all should know that every mention of fenris's strength makes me 🥵 btw. as it always goes#edit 4: the astarion roasting is starting to feel more like me being roasted personally and ya know what i deserved it-
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Danny, the Young Justice member snippet nr 3 GIW made a lot of mistakes and the biggest one was going against Young Justice part 1
As you can see by the title (I need better ideas, you're all welcome to share yours), this is kinda part of "Danny, the Youg Justice member" but as something I have more of actual idea about. So while I encourage people adding their stuff to other snippets, please let this one be. I will be adding to it. It's even partially written :D
unrelated snippet nr 1, unrelated snippet nr 2
"Hey guys" Danny greeted clearly winded, phasing through the wall. Whole Team turned towards him, some giving him a side eye “Sorry I’m late”
“You’re good, my dude” Wally answered, patting him on the back as soon as halfa landed, turning into his human form. They gave him a moment to catch his breath(just how fast he tried to fly there?) before grabbing their bags. Dick jumped and threw himself over the speedster's and halfa’s shoulders.
“Happy Harbour, we’re coming!” he yelled.
He fixed his grip when he caught Danny’s quick wince under the pressure as they left the headquarters. Judging by look on his face, Kaldur caught it too.
“So what’s on the agenda?”
“There is an amusement park in city, so we’re going to enjoy our free time there” M’gann explained with excited smile “I can’t wait to see it, I heard it’s fun”
Artemis nodded with a grin.
“I bet I can win more plushies than all of you. No powers,” she demanded after a moment, slamming her hand n a random tree for better dramatic effect.
“Stakes?” he asked, competitive like always. While blonde shared her idea of ‘no locker room duties for a month’, Danny explained all the questions M’gann asked about what even bet was and what stakes meant. Dick was sure she knew the answers to all of them but he didn’t say anything. He was trained well enough to catch Conner listening intently, despite his clear effort to hide it.
It turned into a whole Team competition.
It was going to be an aster.
***
M’gann was having a blast. Everyone already had two to four plushies, stomach full of unhealthy food and manageable nausea from the roller coaster. Wally and Danny were throwing popcorn to each other's mouths, Robin challenged Conner and Artemis to the next game. It really was fun just like she was told!
It was much less fun when literal blast shot a few feets away from them. Ground where it hit was burned. Halfa squealed, projecting a strong wave of distress. Without second thought he threw his hood on and changed his posture, frantically looking for a hiding spot.
Few children started crying, their families scrambling to get away before attackers started shooting again and hurt them. Workers, already used to working in less than ideal circumstances, quickly, but without panic warranted by recognised villains or outright invasion, shut down reinforced blinds and probably walked out to inform someone. At least they didn’t have to worry about potential civilian casualties.
“Do you know who they are?” M’gann asked, quickly establishing the Mindlink.
“Don’t worry about it” he answered, putting on crazy big sunglasses that Wally won some time before.
“My dude, we just got shot at. We have every right to worry”
“Calm down, Wally. I got shot at, you’re just close by. I’ll handle it” With a ruffle of his hair and a piece of popcorn thrown in his mouth,he turned around, just moment after the next blast almost caught his arm. He plastered a smile on his face.
“Hey, I’ve seen guns like these in laser tag! But I’ve never found them cheap enough to get without selling my kidney!” he yelled enthusiastically.
When the rest of them turned around, M’gann saw ten people in sunglasses and pristine white, holding guns straight from the mad scientist’s lab. THey stood still, projecting surprise bordering on shock. She could also feel hunter's happiness underneath it, intense enough that she considered breaking the ‘don’t mess with people’s brains’ rule. As a treat.
“Don’t worry guys, they won’t harm you. Act like you don’t believe you’re in danger. Like they're a bunch of LARPers or something” It was easier said than done, especially when Danny, who nearly always underestimated the danger, was so terrified.
“Who are they?!”
“Wally throw me a bit of popcorn, please” Halfa asked, ignoring Artemis almost yelling in their minds. In turn, he was ignored by the speedster. Three of the men turned to check something on weird sort of scanner. Danny's false smile went from cheerful to embarrassed.
“Dang me and my poor communication skills” he said, loud enough for men to hear but not enough to sound like he was talking to them, before asking louder “I meant to ask, where have you brought it and how much does it cost?”
This seemed to actually shake men out of their shock. They got furious.
“You won't trick us this time, ghost scum” one of the guys with a scanner snarled. Danny pursed his lips in childish gesture of displeasure.
“Rude much” he muttered as if he wasn’t shining with terror like a lighthouse. Robin perked up as if something got him curious.
“Wait, ghost? What do–”
“What are you cosplaying?” Artemis blurted out. Men got visibly angry but Danny smirked.
“Don't antagonize them,” Kaldur commended.
“If shit goes south I'll get you out of there, half a second flat” Wally offered.
“Thanks dude. Good job Artemis, they hate to be treated like a joke they are” halfa praised but out loud asking:
“Ghostbusters? No, they had different uniforms. But who else got a thing for ghosts?”
“Quit joking around, we caught you Phantom! You ran far from Amity Park but-”
“Who is Phantom?” Robin interrupted rudely (they deserved to be rude to them).
“Where is Amity Park, Utah? Cali?” Conner asked, adding fuel to the fire of chaos with barely contained glee. He liked messing with anyone even slightly resembling Kadmus staff and these guys marked almost all of the boxes.
“Illinois” provided chubby man who looked and felt like he didn't want to be there almost as much as they teens did. Danny relaxed slightly.
“Agent W you have no clearance to share this information“
“You were in Illinois and didn't tell me, Tommy?” M’gann finally spoke, jokingly punching his arm.
“I wasn't, I swear! I've never set a foot outside of this state in my life!”
“Quit messing around, you freak!!!” the guy, with the biggest ego and probably the leader, screamed.
“Can I please mess their heads up?” M’gann asked, pushing hope through Mindlink as hard as she could.
“Again, rude. What did I even do to deserve that?”
“Like you–”
“Operative K, I think they really don't know anything “ Agent W, the nicest out of the batch, interrupted “Maybe it left some ectoplasm on this boy to throw us off?”
“They called you it, Danny” Conner seethed, looking like only Kaldur’s hand on his shoulder was stopping him from punching all of them straight to the sun. M’gann was already reaching for their minds.
“We need to run a scan to be sure. Come here boy”
“Now, who are you?!” Robin got defensive, sliding to shield Danny from asiliants. Conner and Artemis joined him, so clearly furious that M’gann almost retreated from Mindlink. She wasn’t any calmer, it just felt overwhelming to be backed up by five other people.
“It’s classified”
Kaldur took a photo with an obnoxiously loud sound effect. Wally appeared right behind Danny, ready to evacuate him. Artemis barely kept herself from tackling the nearest ‘agent’ to the ground.
“What are you doing, boy?” Operative K splurted, absolutely flabbergasted.
“Calling the police”
“Why?”
“Robin, throw some laws, please”
“Oh, that’s easy,” the boy jumped in gleefully “You assaulted our friend and refused to state why you would have credentials to do so or even who are you. You carry modified weaponry openly in public and I doubt you have a permit, carelessly use it against minors, endangering innocent bystanders while we’re at it. You disturb public peace. I think that’s enough to get you arrested. Wait you know what, call ‘Supervillain emergency hotline’ instead, this is serious attack”
“Right ahead of you, already calling them”
It wasn’t that big of a problem even if someone tried to qualify this as spam. Young Justice Team was first to respond to all threats in Happy Harbour anyway.
Danny let out a low ‘uuuu’ with a smirk. Someone powered up a gun. Wally slightly raised halfa of the ground, ready to bolt.
“It’s okay young man,” the nice agent started, raising his hands in a placating gesture “We’re searching for a dangerous supernatural entity and may have overreacted. In our defense, Phantom is known to be tricky and we wouldn’t be surprised if it used human disguise to hide from us. Your friend gives off the same type of energy like what we use to track it so we assumed they’re the same. We’re sorry”
“Agent W you don’t have clearance to disclose that to-”
“Operative K, after the last few incidents we have to be more throughout before jumping to assumptions. Agent Gamma wouldn’t be pleased if your temper caused the next scandal,” Agent W look at them again, with a forced ‘warm’ smile “We’re really sorry for bothering you. We have reasons to believe Phantom is somewhere around but don’t worry about it, we will be on the lookout. If you see it, please contact us and we will take care of it” M’gann grabbed the ‘WANTED’ poster from man’s outstretched hand. She barely restrained herself from doing something irresponsible, like turning every man in white into a brainless vegetable.
“Later M'gann”
“But Robin…” she whined before sending a small laugh so they knew she wasn’t serious. She knew that Conner and Danny were anxious about this use of her powers.
Agent’s left and everyone relaxed. Wally put Danny back down and leaned back, jokingly rolling back his arms as if he got tired. Halfa stopped with a loud thump to sit on the ground. He was paler than usual.
Artemis shouted, alarmed.
“That was way too close” he started, aiming for a cheerful tone but missing by a mile “I’m fine, just need a moment to cool down. Sorry for that, guys. I thought I lost them over Ohio”
“That’s fine, personally I don’t care, we knew better than to expect a whole day without something going wrong, but who were they?” Wally asked, already back to eating popcorn.
Danny sighed, so deeply M’gann felt it in her bones even though she didn’t try to read him.
“I think this is the talk we should have in the Mountain”
#dpxyj#dp x yj#dc x dp#dpxdc#dp x dc#dcxdp#Danny actually told them he is halfa in this one!#Baby is growing hah#there will be more dramatic angsty part to it#since this is obligatory GIW fic#but for now it's just some fun#and my attempt at writing people roast other people#idk i find it funny#what do you think?#tbh I have much less to say in this one since it isn't finished and I don't want to spoil it#there will be another free to grab snippet soon#i won with my self created complications btw#wandixx writes#have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part
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Thoughts and doodles
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(Please do not use, or repost my works anywhere without explicit permission from me thank you <3)
#deersart#my art#Psychonauts#psychonauts 2#psychonauts raz#razputin aquato#psychonauts razputin#coach oleander#morceau oleander#psychonauts oleander#truman is technically also there but it’s plant Truman so does it even count#maligula is there to but like Truman she’s not relevant enough to count here#i have so many thoughts#like- how long did it actually take Raz to get to camp#we know he went by horse and got dropped of by a truck at some point#but what else#how long was it#the longer it is the more concerned it makes me#mr eats nothing but candy and the occasional roasted animal#i also have thoughts about morry’s tiny little ‘office’ y’all get this man an actual office smh#raz thought plant Truman’s fire breathing was cool. nuff said.#coach is built like a yam /aff#I’m not as content with that train painting as I’d like to be but hey practice makes perfect y’a know#tw vomit#tw emetophobia#i mean not really really but kinda#saw someone tag it so I figured I probably should just incase
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Shark teeth part 1 •v•
(if you go to my tiktok you’ll see a sneak peak of part 2!) •v•
#what should happen next? o3o#I wanted to see if it was even interesting enough to finish to u guys XD#the sneak peak on tktok will be on the last slide of this post! in case anyone has issue finding it owo#sorry for no Halloween stuff tho!! work is tryna kill me XD liiifeee#monkie kid#lego monkie kid#lmk#sketch#lmk art#lmk au#lmk mk#roasted marshmallows au#monkie kid mk#mk#lmk spicynoodles#monkie kid spicynoodles#spicynoodles#spicynoodleshipping#spicynoodles fanart#mk x red son#red son x mk#redson x mk#qi xiaotian#red son#monkie kid au#monkie kid fanart#redson#monkie kid red son#clip studio paint#digital art
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#what are even pronouns#are they just used for us because we feel like we have the need to label ourselfs?#lgbtq#queer#nonbinary#trans#transgender#agender#bigender#trigender#trans woman#trans man#genderfluid#pride#roasting-aphobes post#roasting aphobes#🦖#I want some Golden Grahams
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day 10
this counts as constructive criticism
#day 10#year 5#jade harley#dave strider#homestuck#if you dont roast the besties for their silly shit now and again what are u even doing
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Okay, I know Damian has a point, but I can't stop looking at his hair. He kind of looks like that baby from the incredibles.
#dc comics#batfamily#batfam#tim drake#damian wayne#robin#red rob- oh sorry i meant drake#*cough cough*#red robin#*cough* anyways#dami sweetie what did they do to your hair#you can't roast anyone looking like that
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if ordan karris wanna complete that sentence does that mean he also likes us?
#i mean. the ordan part can control what sentence he wanna hijack right?#hmm#after seeing so much dialogue from his quote page i really wanna see the ordan part inside ordis actually has major impact in canon#and not just to roast parvos. i absolutely love that part but i hope i can see more than that#also makes me wonder how much details in his quote implies what would happen later in the game#like. idk how long ordis has been calling us the operator but i guess it's definitely before the second dream#and i also guess people would understand it as the operator of orbiter or something and not about#...that#yeah that kind of detail#does that count as a spoiler?#what am i talking about this whole post IS a spoiler#but i don't actually wanna tag my each and every post as spoiler tho#cephalon fragment has existed for years so i guess im just gonna... keep. not tagging that. yeah#warframe#warframe ordis#warframe ordan karris#my art
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eating a ghost matter roasted marshmallow sounds like a great way to die badly
#outer wilds#leafs art tag#idk what else to tag this as. anywya enjoy. there is more stupid ways to roast marshmallows art being worked on as we speak#outer wilds autism is taking over i might change my icon about it
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Dark Roast Cafè ☆
The demon gave you a loan to open a cafe — and a week to pay off the debt... Time to summon staff ♪
Fluffynightkiller Week by @help-im-a-gay-fish
Ccino by black-nyanko
Nightmare by jokublog
Killer by rahafwabas / rahaf-wabas / rahofy-sketch
#tw eyestrain#zu art#fluffynightkiller week#fluffynightkiller#ccino!sans#nightmare!sans#killer!sans#undertale#undertale au#utmv#crossover#something something Zu is lazy :'D#as a person who doesn't drink coffee I had no idea what dark roast was#so I googled it and saw that cozy little game??#such a lucky coincidence (〃ω〃)#oh my god they were ˚✧₊⁎ businessmen ⁎⁺˳✧༚
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