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polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup · 11 months ago

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If you don’t mind, I’m very curious about the incident that made the Zenin and Fushiguro-Gojo fam go no contact :)

also happy New Year❤️

Happy New Year!

It's below the cut so it won't spoil it for anyone who doesn't want to know.

They tried to kill one of his dogs.

I see the Zenin as viewing the shikigami of the Ten Shadows as almost sacred weapons. But they would be just that--weapons. It's about utility and power for them. Each has its own unique abilities that can serve to increase the power of the Ten Shadows--and, by extension, the Zenin clan--and they would want to take advantage of each of its facets to maximize its potential.

The Ten Shadows gets little to no unique advantage from having two Divine Dogs instead of one. Each individual dog has the same abilities--tracking, warning Megumi of incoming danger, defeating low level curses--so killing one would not cut off or decrease access to the innate abilities of the shikigami the way killing something like Max Elephant would. The only advantage they lose is that he has one less shikigami in numbers to call upon. On the flip side, if one of the Divine Dogs dies, Megumi can combine them both into Totality, which is strong enough to do serious damage to Special Grade curses. That's a huge advantage.

The Zenin clan is all about making sacrifice to gain power. I see the sacrifice of one of the Divine Dogs being a tradition for the Zenin--and one that was of borderline religious significance to them. The Ten Shadows sacrifices one of their own shikigami as a way of increasing their own power. At the same time, it's a rejection of any air of sentimentality about their shikigami, which I think the Zenin would consider a dangerous weakness.

If the Ten Shadows is fond of their shikigami, they may hesitate with how they deploy them in combat. After all, if one is permanently destroyed, they are never able to summon them again. So much of jujutsu sorcery is just mindset--having any hesitation around using a shikigami risks actively weakening its user. So killing one of the Divine Dogs themself acts a sort of show of strength to the clan--they'll be ruthless in their pursuit of power. They will be everything that a Zenin clan sorcerer should be.

That's actually why Maki specifically said that the Zenin would take a hit out on Nanami if he killed both of the Divine Dogs. If he kills both, Megumi loses the dog's skills. That's an entire shikigami type he can never call again. But they expect for one to die.

I think it's usually treated as a sort of coming of age ritual for the Ten Shadows. Originally, the Zenin were going to wait until right before Megumi entered Jujutsu High to make him kill one.

But then they found out that he named them.

I've said it before on another post, but I see Megumi as someone who loves very quietly, but very violently. He's not loud about his love. But there are no limits to how far he will go when he loves someone.

And Megumi loves his dogs.

He didn't know anything about this ancient technique bullshit the Zenin were always going on about. They were crazy, and he was six. His dogs had been with him even longer than Gojo had. They were the only things that made him feel safe from the monsters crawling the streets. They had loved him and taken care of him and Megumi loved them, so, so much.

To him, they weren't weapons. They were his puppies. He thought of them as his own family. He didn't even think about it when he gave them names. Of course they had names--they were his puppies.

The Zenin heard him call them by name, saw him treat them like his much-adored puppies, and decided it was a sign of dangerous sentimentality that they needed to quash sooner rather than later. If they killed a dog now, he'd learn his lesson about treating them like pets and not make the same mistake with any other shikigami he gained. He didn't need two anyway.

So they dragged him up in front of the clan one day, and they told him that it was time for one of his puppies to die to make Megumi strong enough to serve the clan. Megumi would kill it himself, and if he wouldn't, then Naobito would. But one would have to die, and it would have to be now.

I think martyrdom was the only way Megumi knew how to protect the ones he loves. He wishes he knew another way, but he has always felt so small, and the things that wanted to hurt them has always had such heavy fists. The best he could do was just take the blow himself.

He protected his puppies the only way he knew how, which was to hide them inside himself. He refused to summon them. He'd never summon them again in the Zenin compound if it meant their death, and nothing Naobito did would get him to budge on that.

This humiliated Naobito in front of the clan, because Megumi was just a little boy, but he was refusing a direct order from the clan leader in favor of decidedly non-Zenin values. He turned him over to Naoya and told him to do whatever the hell he had to in order to get Megumi to summon those dogs, and when he did, Naoya was to make certain that one of them died.

Naoya had always been the worst out of all of them. He had always been the most violent with Megumi. And he was always the one who seemed to enjoy it when he hit Megumi. But he had always been restrained, at least partially, by the fact that if he didn't at least maintain the facade of it being for training then his father and the rest of clan leadership would go after him for abusing their precious Ten Shadows. But all of a sudden, he had free license to go as far as he wanted. So he took his inch and went a mile.

By the time Nanami came to pick Megumi up, it had been a long time since Megumi had been able to move. Naoya broke multiple bones. He was badly concussed. He's face had swollen up completely, and he was struggling to breathe.

At first, Nanami was surprised that they were letting him collect Megumi without making a fuss, until he realized that they were only doing it because they needed Shoko to undo their damage. Naoya was a smarmy ass about it too. He made sure to tell Megumi that they'd pick up where they left off the next time he came to visit, and Nanami would have attacked him on the spot if he didn't need to get Megumi to help so badly.

He rushed Megumi back to Jujutsu High, turned him over to Shoko for healing, and then he got back in his car and drove back to the Zenin compound and informed Naoya that he was there to beat the shit out of him for daring to lay a hand on his kid.

I see Naoya being a sort of tormentor of Nanami, over the years. They were in the same year, with Naoya attending Kyoto, but Naoya was obsessed with strength. He would have been fixated on Gojo and Geto, and probably made a show of overpowering Nanami at the Sports Festivals. He was probably cruel about it.

I think Nanami's fight with him was brutal. I think it was bloody and dirty and that neither of them was willing to back down. And I think that Gojo arrived in the middle of it, and that the earth shook with his anger.

After that, it was over. Gojo told them that they were never coming near Megumi again, and he was good to his word. Nanami picked himself up and went back to the school with him, and they wanted to pick up the pieces of the family they had made, really, they did, but it all just broke further.

Yaga was horrified at what they had done, but he was the one who had the mindset of "this has to work" from the start.

It wasn't about wanting to take Megumi away from the Zenin. He wanted to cut them off just as much as the others. He just genuinely didn't believe that they could take the Ten Shadows away from the Zenin. It would undermine too much of jujutsu society. Their children (and the techniques they held) were considered sacred at best and property at worst--it was an unimaginable taboo to have interfered to the extent they had already. Cutting off contact entirely was absolutely unheard of. He said that they could make it safer, maybe make visits shorter or supervised, maybe get them to agree to a binding vow that they could never intentionally inflict harm on Megumi. In his mind, that was already going to unimaginable extents to make it safe for Megumi. It was the best they could do for him. And that's exactly why Yaga was shut out after this incident. Not only had he been the one that convinced them to do partial custody, but he saw how badly they had beaten Megumi and was trying to find a way to still make it work.

It broke Nanami. He told Yaga that he was killing them, he was killing all of them, and that he was done. He quit. He let them kill Haibara, but he wasn't going to do the same to those kids. He couldn't be a part of this anymore.

He told Gojo he wanted equal custody. He had no illusions that he could actually fight Gojo for them, but he had been there through all of this. They'd stay with him too. They'd have a safe place to go away from this world.

And he wanted their passports.

For Gojo, it was the absolute last time he ever compromised when it mattered. It set him onto his current strategy of openly telling the higher ups that he would side with the kids and fuck them up if they pushed it. Gojo knew exactly what compromise could lead to, and he has the memory of what Megumi looks like with half his rib cage broken burned into the back of his eyelids to keep him on track.

This incident recontextualized a lot of what had been happening with Megumi, and he never really forgave himself for missing it for so long. They knew that this wasn't the first time the Zenin hurt him. It was the just the first time they didn't get away with it.

It didn't help that when Megumi finally woke up, he very much thought that they approved of what the Zenin had just done to him.

He thought his sister was hanging in the balance with the arrangement with the Zenin. He woke up terrified that they would take Tsumiki away because he hadn't let them kill his puppy. And it's a real fucking kick in the face to have your own kid be in a hospital bed and think that you're going to side with the people who put him in it. It's even worse when he's trying not to cry because he thinks he's going to have to personally murder his beloved pet or you'll take away his sister forever.

It was a long, slow process to heal from it, and Megumi was never the same after it. He was more distant. Closed off.

And he never called his dogs by their names again.

In the translations that I've personally consumed, Megumi always calls them "the dog" or "divine dogs." In my mind, it's because of this. He named them when he was a little boy, and then he stopped calling them by their names after this incident--at least when other people were around. He refuses to talk about why. Gojo and Tsumiki both tried to get him to talk about it, and he just iced them out.

When Nanami first found Megumi in the car, he actually assumed that it hadn't been the Zenin who did this to him, and it was because both dogs were still alive. He thought that if the Zenin had him, they would have killed one of them.

Gojo, Nanami, and Shoko are almost grateful that Megumi summoned them, even though it led to his seizure. At least it means that both of the dogs are still alive. They're all quietly hoping that the dogs surviving means that the Zenin didn't break something they can't fix again.

They've already lived that aftermath once.

#sea glass gardens

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valeriefauxnom · 10 months ago

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A Holy Hell: The Ilian Church's Very Concerning State

A little while ago, I made mention that the Church in Dragalia was not messing around. Consider this an enlightening of that comment. As always, very long post ahead because there is a lot of rather scary stuff going on.

First, the Church, both North and South, has impressive sway over the lands.

From the North, Grams' clergy, headed by Origa, is more powerful than the king, and Grams itself is a very powerful city-state able to control many of the smaller norther nations. Grams is so powerful that Origa feels confident and comfortable risking open war with New Alberia, Alberia (which was reestablished under Leonidas' kingship in Valkaheim) and quite possibly Dyrenell if Emile was grumpy someone is denying his 'sibling rights', when she orders Graht+Templars to apprehend Euden in Grams for no cause.

But no matter how hardcore the Northern church is established to be with the Holy Hunger Games for prospective Auspexes and the blatant corruption from top to bottom, the South isn't deadweight either. They're deeply enough entrenched in Alberia's statehood that Roc's story kicks off after the royal fam "secured permission" from the church to excommunicate her favorite human.

So yeah, even the Alberian royal family, as far as we know, needs permission to excommunicate and then persecute one of their own. That makes me wonder if there's a sort of protection clause in being a part of the Church, like, 'thou shalt not quarry thine own in faith' or something, necessitating this prince to be excommunicated before he was a 'valid target' in the world.

That aside, what we can see of the modern day Southern church isn't all too soft either. They're on a cusp of civil war between the Perditionists and the Conservationists already, but even just their day-to-day operations doesn't paint a very good light on them.

The Ilian church, for instance, has the capacity to punish 'heretics' for violating its principles. They not only have the power to arrest...

But Tobias' story also lays clear that they do indeed punish 'heretics', and quite severely. For commoners, most misdeeds will be dealt with in fines and maybe some prison time, which is already concerning (how long? in what conditions?) but Paladyns instead get burned alive for the same offense.

Now, in a certain sense, this could be construed as...admirable? Punishing the ones whose job it is to uphold the faith and be a representation of it, a trusted figure in society, harsher, does make some sense. But really...burning alive? Ouch.

Curran's entire job is also literally seeking people 'violating' the state-imposed faith, or at the very least, 'a state whose rules are those of the Church's, so no matter what you believe in you better follow those rules', to imprison and punish them.

Now, even if Curran here describes punishments for the 'laymen' as supposed to be softer than those of their military arm in the Paladyns, that doesn't mean laymen are treated all that well or fairly in their reality. Tobias' third story opens up with this narration:

...And within, at least a certain amount of templars and paladyns seem to hold these kinds of views regarding their role in the world and that of others:

So laypeople can find themselves killed for rebelling against the church, as the church views killing these heretics as doing them a favor to stop their souls from being sullied. That's some scary rhetoric. But why were they rebelling?

They're even willing to imprison a young child for heresy, for being upset the Church killed his father, as well as his mother, speaking the truth of a bishop manipulating a town first with forced tithing and then human sacrifices. His and his mother's fate is unknown, but with paladyns like this running the show, I'm guessing the inquisitors aren't going to be all that more merciful.

Even Curran comments that inquisitors are largely very much a 'guilty until proven innocent' kind of investigator. Curran also comments THIS, despite being a much more forward-thinking inquisitor without these preconceived notions of guilt:

He's also pretty quick to start delivering threats like these:

And with a brief mentioning to 'putting the screws' to someone in Nevin's story, I might be willing to bet that both sides of the church are willing to bust out the good old thumbscrews and other torture devices in pursuit of the truth or finding 'heretics' to then potentially put to death, not helped by the one killed priest in the Accursed Archives story describing an inquisitor's questioning as 'quite severe' at times.

Curran additionally seems to have the authority to decide if a perceived heretic or criminal dies right then and there, no trial required:

This is a lot about Curran, but he's one of our best sources at getting into the nitty-gritty darker side of church structure and powers as an inquisitor. And if Curran, resident funny man who trips over his own words 24/7 when trying to sound cool and a 'progressive' inquisitor, will engage in acts like that, that doesn't give me hope for the rest of the country with more 'traditionalist' inquisitors.

We also get other little glimpses into admittedly individual NPCs' psyche, but these glimpses can overall portray some of the attitudes that are acceptable in the church.

This is concerning again, in that even Ilia's creed, you know, the one they're all theoretically operating under, has wiggle room if the person they're supposed to be bringing happiness to is 'stained with darkness'. Very classic and very easy maneuver to declare anyone who does anything you dislike as 'impure' and thus can disregard your own rules to them.

Several in Tobias' story also express the good ole 'Ilia's will' as justification for whatever happens. Here, they're willing to leave a girl to wander in a fiend infested forest and just say whether she makes it back or not is Ilia's will, all because of their own creed that stepping onto a dragon's territory unbidden is forbidden.

Much like the northern church, the southern church is also steeped in corruption. Elisanne's appointment as Grand Paladyn was nothing more than a rigged notion, as the Archbishop actually wanted her dead to use as a Key of Perdition. Both factions are hopelessly corrupted: we see anything from perditionists bombing to conservationists attempting to arrest and kill Nino because they disbelieve the claim she's apart of the Goddess' bloodline and thus heretical (there's also at least one who wants her dead as a human sacrifice a la Elisanne for a, you guessed it, Key of Perdition).

We also have sterling examples like Father Nikolai, whose entire modus operandi is exploiting vulnerable children with no other options to groom as church assassins, as seen in Alex's backstory. At least one other priest agreed with him.

Thankfully, the one thing that keeps Alberia from being an all-out theocracy is that this generation of royal family seems rather distant from the church (well, save Zethia, who more comes across as a sort of 'holy figurine' in the church, an idol to worship despite not being particularly involved in the actual operations of the church, 'staying pure' from worldy affairs).

Nobody is particularly faithful. Phares is surprisingly among the most likely to use words like 'pray' when willing things to happen (ex, "I pray that we shall not meet as foes") but that's not exactly indicative of any deep faith.

Even Euden has a sort of vague faith in Ilia and the good that the church proscribes in its teachings, but is actually rather sheltered regarding their operations. He barely has enough of a clue to piece together that inquisitors are bad news, but not exactly why. He has some knowledge of some of the church's symbols like birds, but again, he's not particularly devout. One of his biggest expressions of faith is permitting Cibella to create a chapel in the Halidom and then hire Hope to...clean the altar in the Halidom.

Honestly, to me, it almost comes across as a sort of sheltering on both Aurelius' part as well as the royal family perhaps being a bit more immune to accusations of heresy and the darker side of the church. I could see Aurelius, who also seems skeptical of the northern church at least, trying to keep their piety to a more reasonable fervor if he knows what the north and/or south is up to.

But still, is it any wonder why Leonidas or Ciella finds no shortage of critique for the Ilian church, despite how there still are plenty who are more 'purely' clinging to the faith and aiding the young and downtrodden?

There's even something of a separate justice system, a separate one enough Elisanne is emboldened to challenge Leonidas when he tries to arrest Father Marko for maliciously spreading slander that Euden is possessed by the Other to fulfill this principle.

Of course, Leonidas goes a step or three too far in his initial persecution of any follower and his special hatred for dragons, -as he has adopted that 'dragons are the true masterminds' heretical view Heinwald was repeating to Curran in that earlier image, but he's plenty of cause to be distrustful. It's not just him, either, as Chelle is also very wary of the Church.

This is all over the place, but I hope I've made my overall point clear: the Ilian church, north or south, is not quite the benevolent savior it claims itself to be. It is rife with corruption, is in active persecution of any who it deems heretical, is its own judge jury and executioner (and some are lucky to even see a rigged trial in the first place), and is involved in any number of deep scandals and feuds.

Honestly, it's a miracle so many of its adherents are still true enough to the faith to still engage in the more pretty parts of scripture like feeding orphans and all that.

Extra: Also, can we talk about how the upper echelons of the Northern Church already seems to have at least some deets regarding Euden's true origin or the like? Not just Origa, who comments at one point that Euden is 'a man with lacking soul and manifold pacts', but even Nevin has at least a decent idea as to what's up:

Where did they learn this? How? Was part of the reason they went to Euden specifically for Agents of the Goddess a means to investigate what kind of dude he was and determine if he was a threat with his origins? I mean, come on, even the southern church is willing to immediately execute anyone who claims the Goddess' bloodline without even a full investigation whether there's a grain of truth in there, so I can't imagine either side of the church taking all to well to a person made of demon-flesh. (Wait it might actually be interesting if the Perditionists got ahold of that fact with their attitude to the Other...)

This is way way way too long so I'll cut it off here, but yeah. The Ilian church is not quite as soft as they present themselves.

#dragalia lost #dragalia #dragalia analysis #It really is a tangled mass of issues top to bottom. There's no easy fix nor does it get fixed by the end.#Too bad Ilia never got the full scoop as to what's up with 'her' own church even if it's technically Meene's.#That would have been interesting.

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shameonmeeguiltypleasure · 2 years ago

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Heyyaaa so in your SMB fic does the whole bridgerfam know or atleast have an inkling of Colin's affections for Pen? I mean considering that they've known Colin their whole lives, I'm thinking they're fine-tuned (to a degree) to his actions like how I imagine someone to watch a ticking time bomb lol and and see how he moons over Pen like a fool or do they just think that he sees her like a toy he thinks is his? I'm sorry if this is confusing but I just realy want an insight of how the Bridgerton looks at Polin through the years

Not confusing at all, thank you so much for the question!!

And I loved that you asked because I always adore giving analysis and character studies for my SMB verse 🥰😂

It's sad, but to be honest, the Bridgerton Fam have blinders on when it comes to Colin. Again, this is a 'Depends on who you ask' sort of situation.

Violet: She knows her son has a dark side, but to what extent? She actively chooses not to think about how far he'll go to satisfy his greedy/selfish nature (She enables and excuses her children a lot unless it's a 'the whole ton knows' kinda thing). Because of that, she excuses the treatment Colin gives Penelope as innocent (Until she can't lol). She's always known that his affection for her is true, but (and she would never admit this out loud) she wasn't confident it could be something like love. Colin obsesses, he's greedy but his interest always seemed fleeting. So she didn't encourage romantic interest between them per se (just pointed it out when she thought he was showing a little TOO much interest in Penelope hence his blow-up at his brothers) but she also didn't stop it because she is weak for her children.

Anthony: He teases and he notices how Colin's actions can come across, but Colin said it's not like that and so he's choosing to believe him. (Until it's not but let us leave Anthony to his choices because he had to prioritise after Edmund died and Colin's dark tendencies weren't (as far as he knew) actually hurting anyone).

Benedict: He's always known. You can't bullshit a bullshitter. He took it upon himself to make sure Colin's attention on Penelope never crossed the line as they grew up. By this I mean, Ben was the one to make sure the two weren't left alone for too long without himself or Eloise. He made sure that when Colin walked Penelope home, it was exactly that. In many ways, Benedict was the only reason Colin subconsciously didn't cross the line with Penelope. How? Because Benedict loved to gossip about the scandalous little adventures he had at his orgy parties and the many ways Gentlemen acted incredibly ungentlemanly with a lady and aren't we lucky we weren't raised like uncouth savages, Colin? Aren't we lucky that we're proper gentlemen? We would never take advantage of innocent young ladies unaware of such flirtatious actions, right Colin?

Daphne: She didn't think there was anything wrong with the way Colin treated Penelope. Colin wouldn't hurt Penelope, she was too important to him. He loves her? Oh....you know, now that I think about it, yes that makes sense. Good for him, I can't wait to have Penelope as a sister.

Eloise: Penelope is not a toy to share, she is a living breathing, intelligent WOMAN! Colin doesn't get to just drag her about and make choices on her behalf! What right does he have!? He better not mess with Penelope or I'll kill him myself! Eloise didn't get why Colin hovered around Penelope so much, but she knew she didn't like it. She didn't care if they met first. Penelope was her sister of choice, her platonic soulmate. Colin could fuck off on another ship to who-knows-where! He's not mooning over Penelope! He's plotting to STEAL her from me!! Francesca: Did I know Colin had feelings for Penelope? Not at first. I thought he was just trying to piss off Eloise again. Penelope isn't a toy, but she might as well be one with how Eloise and Colin fight for her attention. Did I ever think they'd get married? Not really. I didn't think Colin would EVER get married, let alone to Penelope. She could do so much better if you ask me.

Gregory: What? Colin has feelings for Penelope Featherington!? Since when? But- But I- What?

Hyacinth: Obviously Colin loves Penelope. Have you seen the number of times he looks down at her? I measured the distance you know, he's got the best view at his height. And the way he eats when she comes to afternoon tea! Ugh, it's disgusting! He might as well just ask her to sit on his plate and say bon-appetite. Wait- This is an anonymous interview right? Anthony will kill me if he reads this.

In summary Anon:

Violet: No she did not know it was love but she's glad that it is.

Anthony: No he did not know because Colin said he'd never marry Penelope Featherington.

Benedict: Yes he did know and it was only a matter of time before Colin's greedy little self would drive him mad with desire.

Daphne: No she did not know but isn't it nice that Colin fell in love with his best friend.

Eloise: Yes but she refused to acknowledge what it was until Penelope told her she wouldn't mind Colin for a husband.

Francesca: Yes in a way, only because Colin loves to piss off Eloise and what better way to do that than to fall in love and make Penelope fall in love with him too.

Gregory: No. He very much did not know Colin had those kind of feelings for Penelope.

Hyacinth: Yes because Colin has hungry eyes and she learned at an early age that if one wished to eat in the Bridgerton home, they needed to beat Colin to the dinner table. Afternoon teas with Penelope usually meant she could eat more than usual because Colin's hungry stare was well and truly occupied.

#answered #seducing mr bridgerton #polin #smb

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soloyolo89 · 2 years ago

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Dating Eddie Munson HeadCanons (Part One)

SFW! Tooth Rotting Fluffy Nerds in Love - Besties to Lovers

(This is my first ever headcanon type thing so please be gentle but def please also let me know what you think! More to come! Maybe even Smut! *LE GASP!* Anyway, I'm very happy to be a part of the Eddie Munson Stan Fam. <3) P.S. Any formatting tips/help would be greatly appreciated because Tumblr is a freakin' mystery to me. I wanna make my posts pretty like ya'alls! <3

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*You probably met in some unlikely place like the middle of the woods or maybe the video store - you are probably not his usual type but in this case it's likely a good thing!

*Prepare yourself for lots of DnD/High Fantasy references being applied to everyday life. You’re the Arwen to his Aragorn, but he only ever goes so far as to directly say when he’s very high or very drunk - usually only to his closest friends (though you might have overheard him once!)

*He painstakingly taught himself Elvish as developed by Tolkien for Lord of the Rings. Sometimes he speaks it in his sleep (you’re learning if only to see what he whispers about - also, he smiles in his sleep and it’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen.)

*You are never cold because Eddie is 100% a gentleman and if the air is even somewhat chilly, you find yourself draped in his denim or leather! He even had a custom fleece lined denim jacket made for you for your birthday - it has a large Corroded Coffin patch on the back and you wear it constantly. He always takes your hands in his and even puts them into his pockets to warm them if he senses they’re too cold or notices you shivering. Without being asked to he blocks you from the wind, using his own lanky body to keep you from the harshness of winter in Hawkins. (He only complains a little but you know he is just being dramatic from the love in his eyes and the dimpled grin on his face).

*Speaking of Eddie being a gentleman - he opens all doors, pulls out your chair, and in his book ‘Ladies are always first.’ He treats all women with respect because that’s just how he is, but he is especially attentive to you. While he isn’t smothering or what one might consider ‘clingy,’ he does take a protective stance over you mostly because he is aware that dating the ‘Freak of Hawkins’ would likely paint some sort of target on you. Whenever someone says something or gives you the side eye, he always makes sure any flack falls onto him and not you if at all possible. And sometimes he’s not around when girls giggle at you and talk behind their hands and ask what it’s like to be violated by a Freak. They ask personal questions that borderline violate - Eddie isn’t a violent man but he didn’t say one crossword to you when you punched out Stephanie Lotterman for saying Eddie should be dead for what he did to Chrissy. He just kissed your busted knuckles and asked if you wanted ice, casually offering to give Steph’s boyfriend a matching black eye after he called you a whore.

*(He didn’t tell you everything about the Upside Down likely as a way to protect you, but he explained what happened with Chrissy in particular during the earlier part of your relationship. Everyone backed him up and you weren’t involved in that but you believe him - you believe all of them. The fear in their eyes and the way they talk about it - plus some of the unexplainable things you saw during that time…you just….believe them. Also…you saw the scars. You tended to them and kissed them and felt his breath hitch when you did.)

*You spend a lot of your time in Eddie and Wayne’s trailer - Wayne all but adores you and gives you plenty of privacy though he does occasionally join you two for dinner because they both absolutely adore your cooking. It’s been a long time since either of them have had good, home cooked meals and it shows. You watch a lot of bad horror movies and epic fantasy - read a lot, listen to tons of music in his room. You frequently trade books and mix tapes and give him feedback on his campaigns. Occasionally you even play with the Hellfire Club though you’re mostly a stand in because you’re still learning - but you’re happy to be the one to fetch drinks and snacks and help clean up at the end of the night because you’re terribly fond of the entire group. (Henderson is lowkey your favorite though.)

*You were absolutely not prepared for how utterly hilarious and charming Eddie is. He frequently has you doubling over with laughter - once he even made you genuinely concerned that you might pee yourself in the movie theater because of his quick witted snark. You realize the source of his humor is his perceptiveness and keen sense of people - he’s unique, no doubt about it.

*He took you on a picnic for your first “official” date. Skull Rock, a local makeout spot. Maybe not that romantic of a location but the effort he put into it was. There was music, flowers, and all your favorite snacks and drinks. Even candles! The set up was nestled on the very apex, away from the ground, making it less likely to have uninvited critters invade your meal. The view from up there was spectacular, especially at sunset. You could see all of Hawkins and its surrounding woods spread out beneath you. It seemed so small from this high up. The little lights that were houses and businesses were all but swallowed by the fierce green around them. Eddie’s eyes wandered idly between your side profile and the view. Eventually the stars came out and witness your first awkward, slightly sporadic kiss. Eddie made the first move, his lips a livewire against yours. He later admitted he felt like if he hadn’t kissed you in that moment he might have vibrated out of his skin. He admitted also that it was different with you. There was some sort of something between you - magnetic. Electric. It thrilled him. And terrified him.

*You felt very much the same.

*You were dating for six months before you had “the talk.” You wanted to wait - not for marriage, because you weren’t that religious, but for…well, the feeling it was right. Eddie was so patient, so understanding the entire time. No pressure. He respected your boundaries, always, and never went past a certain point. There was definite want in his dark eyes, though they were also tinged with slight hesitation. He was afraid of hurting you - he was more experienced than you, though most people your age could easily claim that because you were still a virgin at 19.

*He was also respectful about smoking weed around you - he didn’t pressure you to drink or smoke, or try anything else either. You did eventually ask to try a joint and found you liked it, though you were not always in the mood to or able to smoke. Weed made you so relaxed and giggly it was practically impossible to hold a serious conversation or do anything near productive. Mostly you just snacked, laughed, talked about nonsense, watched garbage tv, or cuddled well into the night.

*You were very sick with the flu the first time he told you he loved you. He’d come over with store bought chicken noodle soup and what must have been the entire cold & flu aisle at the local pharmacy. He’d whispered those three little words against your hair while he kissed your temple, thinking his little guitar strummed lullaby had put you to sleep. It had, but not deep enough to miss the confession.

*The look on his face when you sleepily grumbled them back was priceless.

#eddie munson #eddie munson/you #eddie munson/reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson boyfriend #eddie munson friends to lovers

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lonely-writer · 2 years ago

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Eddie to Buck: you feel pretty warm....

Hi anon! I’m so sorry it took me nearly 4 months to get this done but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

Title: Burn For Me

Pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz

Warnings: Discusses mental health/therapy

Tags: Feelings realization, Oblivious Evan “Buck” Buckley, Fire fam is concerned, for all the wrong reasons, Burn out, Discussions of mental health/therapy, Bobby Nash is Evan “Buck” Buckley’s father

Buck is sick.

Just not in the coughing and sneezing way, no believe it or not he's actually sick of work. Maybe the daily routine he followed was catching up to him, weighing on him with every call they responded to as the burden of the 118's job continued to gnaw at him- his therapist suggested he was burned out but Buck refuted the idea nearly immediately, him burnt out? Impossible. He'd signed up to save lives, to experience death defying feats and every day he risked his life by running straight into fire- how did someone become burnt out from that? The more he thinks about it though the more he comes around to the idea that he's tired of being in a routine that refuses to change- something has to or he fears he'll grow restless and move on to new adventures where he won't be happy. It's not helping that recently every call is mundane; there's a cat stuck in a tree here or a car accident there- on the occasions there's a fire it's nothing serious, usually someone left a candle unattended and the curtains caught fire or the oven timer went off.

Buck hates himself for even thinking this but he'd kill for another natural disaster to hit the city, at least then he wouldn't be so bored all the time. To combat this boredom he's started reading whatever can catch his attention, a sight that the rest of the 118 joke and jab at first but ultimately become concerned about- the last time he picked up a book he was in a slump with his now ex-girlfriend Taylor, at first they brush it off- after all maybe he's just looking to pick up a new, healthy hobby for once but by the third shift he shows up with another sappy romance novel the crew grows concerned.

"Maybe he's lovesick?" Hen suggests in the kitchen, her voice a quiet whisper glancing over to where Buck sits on the couch flipping the page of his book agonizingly slow, "He hasn't been on a date since Taylor and he's walking around like a wounded puppy, same way he was when Abby left him." She points out, it's a logical guess but not the right answer as the rest of the group hums in disagreement.

"No, no he's not lovesick- or else he wouldn't be reading romance novels. Buck doesn't read when he's upset, he just mopes around until he finds someone else to chase after, Chim, has Maddie said anything about their parents lately? Have they been doing therapy together?" Bobby asks though there's a tone of annoyance to his voice- he wants Buck to have a good relationship with his parents but the distaste for how they treated their children for years is still strong in him.

"Not really, they've been around a bit more because of Jee-Yun but they talk about her and not Buck. You think he's upset because of that?" Chimney answers with a shrug.

"Maybe, but he hasn't mentioned them at all lately...no news is good news at times." Hen counters, though not outright stated she shared in their captain's disdain for the Buckley sibling's parents. "He doesn't talk much about his therapy sessions a lot though- which I'm not saying is bad or wrong, he's entitled to that privacy, but sometimes I wish he'd just tell us what's on his mind." She huffed lightly.

"Any of you consider maybe he's just actually sick and not telling us because he can 'handle it.'?" Eddie offered his gaze completely trained on Buck, there's another bout of silence between the four in the kitchen as they mull over the suggestion. It would explain the slump in his attitude, the sudden change in his demeanor, the books he brings to distract from his illness- everything made sense.

"If he's sick then why doesn't he just go home and rest? We'll be fine without him." Chimney states to which Hen jabs him in the arm lightly, "Ouch! What was that for?" He grumbles rubbing his arm.

"Since when has Buck ever enjoyed being alone? Never. If he's not hanging out with one of us then he's with his girlfriend- which he doesn't have right now, so if he's sick he'd be alone. I promise you after his breakup being alone is the last thing he wants, sick or not." Hen mutters as Buck flips yet another page.

"Well...someone needs to make sure he's alright, and no offense but it's not going to be me. I am not bringing home anything that could get Jee sick." Chimney remarks as he puts his hands up in defense, which is a fair point between the four, the last thing you'd want to do is bring home a sickness to your own child. Before anyone else can make some kind of argument against casually checking in on Buck, Eddie rounds the corner of the island to check on the other, the rest of the crew immediately begin to do their best to act as nonchalant as possible- though it's almost painfully obvious they're all listening to the conversation.

"Hey Buck." Eddie greets and before the blond can even respond he's asking the question of the day, "Are you feeling alright?" This catches the other off-guard, was he alright? Was he alright? Did he not seem alright? Was he disturbing the rest of the 118? Or was this all just some kind of joke because he was reading? Something he didn't quite often do.

"Uh..yeah? Why?" Buck asked in confusion though the answer wasn't deemed acceptable by Eddie as suddenly there was a hand pressed against his forehead, he feels flushed and embarrassed- but he doesn't know why exactly. Is he sick? No, so why is he blushing? And why is his heart racing now? Plenty of people have checked his temperature like this before and yet he's never reacted this way.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright? You feel pretty warm..." Eddie states cautiously his hand never leaving Buck's forehead.Of course he's warm- he's flustered! But why? Why is he so flustered? Why is it that when Eddie specifically puts his hand against his forehead he suddenly can't think coherently and his throat becomes dry- why is it he wants to lean further into the gentle touch? Why is it that his heart begins to race- oh.

Oh.

"Yeah..yeah. I'm good." Buck says with surprising ease for someone who just came to the earth-shattering realization that he was falling in love, if not completely in love already with his best friend.

Yeah, he's just great.

#911 #my writing #my fic #Evan buck Buckley x Eddie Diaz #Buddie fic #tw: discussions of mental health #tw: discussing therapy #fire fam fic

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skeleton-in-a-hoodie · 8 months ago

Text

This has been on my mind since before writing Memento Mori and I realised that I can talk about it now, cause Shen's existence isn't a spoiler anymore.

The DDMG fam's reactions towards the idea of Splinter dating:

Leo: finds the idea of Splinter dating kinda weird, and isn't 100% how to feel about Shen, but if it makes sensei happy he's cool with it. Tries to wingman much to Splinter's embarrassment. (Shen thinks it's hilarious.)

Raph: is supportive of Splinter, but is also a realist and knows that there's a good chance Shen isn't interested in dating Splinter because a) by the time they reunite, it's been almost two decades since Splinter died and b) Splinter looks like a near 7 foot tall humanoid rat, which not everyone is going to be into. That being said, he'll be really happy for Splinter if it goes well. The least embarrassing member of the family to be honest.

Donnie: Made a goddamn flow chart with ideas for how Splinter could ask her out. Raph pointed out that considering Splinter was married and had a daughter, he probably knows how to ask someone out. Donnie argues maybe Splinter forgot.

Mikey: helped make the flowchart. There's a good chance he asks Shen questions about Splinter.

(Splinter is begging his sons to stop helping at this point.)

April: very supportive and thinks they'd be a cute couple, but agrees with Raph that everyone needs to stop interfering and let Sensei handle this on his own (Splinter: THANK YOU APRIL!).

Casey: 100% made fun of Donnie for the flowchart of flirting, but made some notes for her own use cause some of the ideas aren't half bad. Is torn between helping Splinter or sitting back and watching how things turn out (Casey will die before he admits it, but he loves corny romance dramas).

Robyn: Everyone thought she'd be on the same team as Mikey and Donnie. She's actually team "if you break uncle's heart, you'll wake up with a horse head in your bed."

Venus: Needs to be kept away from Donnie and Mikey, least she come up with terrible ideas for how to wingman for Splinter. (She, much to her horror, takes after Tseng in the romance department.)

Tseng: Pre-emptively banned from giving relationship advice.

Socorro: is treating this like a romance drama. Thinks Splinter should go for it. Has a bet going with Tseng over if Splinter will ask Shen out.

Samson Silver: Trying not to interfer in Splinter's love life, but also wants to know all the details. Will help/ give advice if Splinter asks, which largely involves saying Splinter should talk to Shen.

Kirby: Hopes it goes well, but isn't going to pester Splinter with questions about it. The one Splinter goes to talk about relationships with, because everyone else is really encouraging but Splinter needs someone to talk to that isn't like "You should go for it" right off the bat, because rat dad has some reservations and is not going to discuss them with the kids.

Miwa: after getting to know splinter starts trying to wingman for her mom.

#tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt au #dead doesn't mean gone au #not gonna lie #choosing memento mori as the anniversary fic was at least partly motivated by being able to talk about shen #and the more light hearted stuff like this

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itoshi-s · 2 years ago

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we barely had any glimpse of Sae's life during his stay in Spain (except knowing that he did go there for soccer purposes). So I imagined that during his stay in Spain, he felt homesick. A colleague of his suggested "Why not go for a drink to ease yourself?" and then BOOM!! Went to a club, shots of liquor made him drunk already but it worked! (for now).

His other teammates will be like-- "Oi!! Someone help carry this kid back home!" You and his manager volunteered to help (just to get out of this place because lord knows how dangerous Clubs are when it comes to women, especially if you're not around trusted group of friends, but his manager seems friendly and you're working as an intern manager for future players so that's a mixed feeling).

His manager carried Sae and you gathered his other personal belongings, went inside a taxi to drive towards Sae's temporary place. You opened the lock of the door, and his manager placed him in his bed, manager-san hurriedly left though but he didn't forget to say his thanks for trusting him and all~

You placed Sae's belongings to his couch and accidentally made a noise from your foot (as you were about to leave). You took a closer look on what it is and u saw... a plastic wrap for a nori wrapper? What?? But you're in Spain! *crack-* You stepped in another plastic wrapper and soon discovered a trashbin full of failed attempts of cooking and convenient bought goods (he did mention that he's not good with anything besides soccer so..). Shocked, you began to overthink that somehow reached to a conclusion 'This is not good! He should be eating healthy stuff, not this! Mmmm... could this be a test to become a good manager in the future?!' So you quickly searched for quick yet delicious japanese breakfast (as a manager, u must know at least the player's home country) so that he can heat it up easy with a microwave. After spending an hour, you're finally done cooking and covered it, leaving a letter that says, "Don't forget to eat breakfast, Mr. Itoshi.", cleaned the used kitchen stuff, and left the place. That's what happened during that night, some people might think it's a bit excessive, but you don't mind. It's a veryyyy small act of kindness compared to what his sponsor has given him anyway. You already expected that he'll let the upcoming day pass by but that's okay, you treated this situation as a test and just want to help him as an intern manager for future players that will be assigned to you anyway.

Or so you thought that would happen. Cuz you shouldn't be fast-walking around the building (carrying out your duties an intern) while being tailed by a red-bean haired who's spouting "not-so-believable-job-descriptions-but-hey-a-generous-offer/s" exclusively for you.

(If u finished reading this longggg...imagine?? Idk how to call it :T then... thank youu! You can continue this idea with a fic or something if u wannnt)

AAAAAAA nonnie i luuuuuv this prompt considering it's canon that sae has his family send him japanese food and snacks when he's away ajhslksah and also it was stated that he really cares about his fam too so i can DEFINITELY imagine him bein homesick . also i'm curious what happened in spain to make him the way he is :((( sigh but that's for another time hehe

also i hope i did get your idea correctly cuz i might be runnin on like 5 hours of sleep and 'm after 3 hours of practice too 😭 so sorry if i misunderstood anything aksjghask but the thought of you just doing your job and being a good hearted human and sae noticing .. taking it as a chance to get closer to you .. doing the craziest stuff that his manager just cannot deal with,, so that you can intervene and he can see you again </3 kinda smells of yan themes too but im just a whore for mentally unhinged boys (`ー´)

ty sm for sending this in !! i will keep that in mind for future fics cause it really is such a wholesome-can-turn-dark-idea hehe

#✧.* ✉ zari’s mail #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae #sae itoshi #sae itoshi x reader #blue lock #bllk #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock imagine #blue lock headcanons

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kanershuffle · 2 years ago

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What are your top favorite sharpy-kane moments?

OMG this is going to be so hard! Sharpy talks about Kaner all the time!

He’s one of the most important people in Kaner’s life

“He's my friend, he's my teammate, I love the guy and I'm going to be behind him no matter what happens”—Sharpy

Just two sexy best friends (x)

(x)

Little Peekaboo 🥺💗 (x)

I’m a goner anytime Sharpy refers to Kaner by a nickname, and this happens to be my most favorite recent moment:

“What’s up, baby...Alright, baby, have fun.” 😳😳😳 had me WEAK

Also Kaner says ‘Sharpy!’ so cutely (x) Video

That’s a very romantic celebration, they were really feeling it 👀 (x)

Being cute together (x)

(x)

Kaner calls him big brother 😢 (x)

(x) (Kaner looks so hot with a beard 😳🤭)

How would you describe your relationship? (x)

Kaner: I’ve always felt like Sharpie has been a big brother to me, especially coming in as such a young kid [like I did]. He’s a guy who’s always messing around and having a good time, and one thing people probably don’t know is how serious he is about the game. When you see someone like that who has as much expertise as he has taking it so seriously, it makes you want get better as a player, too. Sharpy: Strictly professional. [Laughs] The same thing Kaner says—I treat him as a little brother. It doesn’t matter if we’re on a 10-game winning streak or a losing streak, coming to the rink I’m always having fun with Kaner, joking around, talking about things we’ve seen in the league or around Chicago. He’s a guy who likes to have a good time, but he’s really dedicated to the sport, and he doesn’t get enough credit for that. I consider him one of my better friends, and I’m glad I can play with him.

Sharpy thinks Kaner is real pretty 💁🏻‍♂️✨:

“Of course, one aspect of your off-ice persona involves your looks. Every year it seems you are voted one of the sexiest or most handsome athletes on the planet. Surely you hear about that in the locker room.

Sharpy: All the time. I take a lot of heat about that. Particularly from Patrick Kane. But, you notice that the two of us recently did a magazine cover together, and he looked real pretty, I thought. So what does he say now? Kaner doesn’t let a lot go by when he has a chance to jab me. He’ll take whatever he can get. But I really like Kaner. People don’t see the side of him that we see. He really cares, and he’s more serious than he comes off.” (x)

Yes, same, Sharpy!! (x) Love it when he goes soft on Kaner 🥺

Obviously it would be a crime not to include this legendary recording of Kaner by Sharpy! I love how he zooms in on Kaner’s dimples 😊

Also, Sharpy chirping Kaner after he messes up and says: “Gatorade after a big win. Go home, four points on the trip.” And then he corrects himself, “three points, three points.”

Sharpy be like, lmao

“You meant four points for you, right, Kaner? And not for the team? You got two goals, two assists, that’s what’s most important about this trip.” (x)

Protecting Kaner’s virtue (x) Video

Only Sharpy is allowed to annoy Kaner (x):

Also, I really love that Sharpy assisted Kaner’s 1st, 100th, 200th goal! Soulmate behaviour!

(x)

During Kaner’s 200th goal (x)

Kaner gave Sharpy his ‘A’ during Sharpy’s final home game as a Blackhawk, and Sharpy got a lil teary eyed talking about it to the press (x)

Just a bunch of school boys (x)

Sharpy trying to lift Kaner up with Stanley Cup but just ends up coping a feel lol. The best part about this moment is that it was all Jonny’s idea, he shoved Sharpy towards Kaner 😈 (x)

Also, Kaner’s relationship with Sharpy’s fam!

I know my daughter likes all the bobbleheads. I’ve collected them all since 2005. She plays with them all and calls them “Daddy’s hockey friends.” There’s about 10 Kane and Toews bobbleheads, different ones. There’s a couple Sharps. There’s a lot of Hossas, there’s a Coach Q in there, Savvy [Denis Savard], all the old guys. So it’s pretty special to have those bobbleheads I guess. patrick sharp (via toewscrosby)

Does Maddy recognize daddy’s hockey friends from the bobbleheads? Sharpy: She knows Kaner. Just because we probably have about twelve Kane bobbleheads in the house. (x)

“I remember reading somewhere that Kaner is Madlyn Sharp’s godfather (but I can’t find a direct link atm)” via latkamaila. This post

Along the line of the last question, knowing who has the hands to score around here, who do you trust to hold your baby or not hold your baby?: Sharpy: “Little man Kane with his baby soft hands can hold her anytime he wants.” (x)

#WrongPatrickMom Sharpy’s mom wearing 88 to game 1 against Detroit back in 2013 LMAO (x)

Kaner: “She looked good in the jersey, I thought” 😏 (x)

(x)

Finally, I love Sharp constantly teasing and bringing up Kaner not passing to him during the 2010 game 7 final against the Flyers, and Kaner always making fun of him for always bringing it up

(x)

#I apologise for taking so long #I had finals and I totally forgot #this was very fun to compile #there was so much I had forgotten about so it was great to revisit #I'm sure there's a lot I've missed #but what can you do #they have too many cute moments together 🥺💗💗#I love them so much #patrick kane #patrick sharp #patrick squared #answered #anonymous #p;

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multiples-fandomswontkillme · 3 years ago

Text

~Metal Family headcanons~

These are like my... general hcs)? which means I didn't include my main hc that Glam, Ches and Vicky are polyamorous, married and started dating after Glam met Vicky, and absolutely everything that implies for the kids and the relationships between each member of the fam. Maybe I'll make a separate post for that or maybe not! Who knows lkfwnlfqnf

Glam

Bisexual

Glam has constant nightmares and ocasional night terrors ever since he ran away home and is an active sleep walker. Ches helped him through the worse ones when they were younger, and learned how to deal with them, always preferring not to wake him up but being with him until the episode passed. Vicky has learned how to deal with them, though she normally asks Ches for advice with it cuz she comes out short sometimes.

He has PTSD. I bet it's diagnosed too, he takes medication and goes to therapy, it doesn't mean he still doesn't have his bad days anyway. He's trying to get better.

Glam has talked to Vicky about his past, his father and his family. This is a direct contradiction of Alina's confirmation that Glam doesn't talk about it with anyone but man FUCK THAT. We love good communication in this house, Vicky tries her best to help him, but there's only so much she can do to help.

Glam enjoys gardening, cooking and making models, he also likes doing his make up, painting his nails and dressing up in fancy, extravagant clothes even if he has nowhere important to go.

He likes taking care of everyone's hair, and constantly helps Vicky brush her hair cuz there's so much of it, Dee when he gets stressed over how tangled it can get, buys Ches hair products so he actually takes care of it, and chases Heavy so the kid actually washes, untangles and brushes his hair.

This one is kind of weird, but I refuse to think any adult in the family is unarmed at any time. Glam owns a taser and pepper spray. They're bright pink and sparkly.

This man cried his eyes out while watching Coco. He's hell to watch movies with cuz he talks and predicts what's gonna happen during the movie, judges them with scores at the end and all.

Vicky

Also bisexual!

Vicky's the one who does everyone's laundry most of the time. She prefers it that way since she's the only one that knows how to wash their black clothes so the colors stay vibrant. (This is based on my gf shaming everyone but Vicky cuz their black clothes always look so muted and almost gray, but Vicky's whole outfit is always the same vibrant black colors, so we decided that neither Glam or the kids know how to wash dark clothes)

She has anger issues, if it isn't obvious. I think she also has PTSD, mainly survivor's guilt due to her surviving the accident her brother died in. She blames herself and cannot bear to talk about it, in some sort of deep denial. If she can't remember, it can't hurt as much, right?

She has scars on the right side of her back and her hip, from the road rash she got on her brother's accident, she never treated it due to grief and it scarred badly. Apart from that, the scar of the caesarean section from Heavy's birth. She doesn't really mind both of them, they happened, nothing to do about them.

She likes watching boxing competitions, brawling matches and motorcycle repairing on TV. Loves doing BBQ's and going to the pool. Also an enjoyer of teasing her kids, kissing and loving her husband at random times, spending time drinking and bonding with Ches and bragging about her family and punching anyone who thinks they're not that cool.

Not particularly a fan of make up, skirts and dresses or any traditionally femenine-perceived stuff. But has been making exceptions due to Glam and Ches being unashamed of being seen as femenine, and actually rocking the looks. The internalized misogyny is kind of slowly dissapearing.

Apart from the guns she carries in each arm (I mean her biceps, have you looked at the size of those?? She strong) she has brass knuckles on her at all times. Glam gifts her new ones sometimes, she loves having multiple choices to punch people teeth in.

Loves horror, thrillers and action movies. Falls asleep during rom-coms and dramas. Ironically, loves gossip and talking shit about people. Enjoys hearing Ches talks about the gossip going on in the nursery home even if she doesn't know who the hell he's talking about.

Rest of the family under the cut!

Heavy

Heavy is a trans boy! He doesn't know his sexuality yet though, he's still figuring himself out. When he's older, i think he definitely dated some men but had better luck with girls.

Heavy has had innocent crushes on some girls on his class before, but they never turn into anything more cuz he's not the best at expressing himself. He follows the bother-the-girl-to-death-until-she-hates-you gimmick, and unsurprisingly, it doesn't work.

I'm sorry to break this to u but Heavy totally had an among us phase, and uses so much reddit and twitch slang... You know he does.

Likes bullying and teasing his brother to death. You know that when Dee had his first romance, Heavy was ALL up in his business being a tease and a bad attempt at a wingman. He means well tho.

He's not squeamish at all. Also has great pain resistance. This kid has picked cockroaches with his bare hands and loves cats, of course the cats have scratched him. He's tough!

Grows up to be the charming himbo he was always destined to be.

Dee

I hc him as demisexual. Kind of inherited his dad's tastes for the takes no crap, intimidating but pretty kind of people.

Can't cook. He tries but he can only do basics like rice, cereal, chicken nuggets or eggs. Complicated meals always burn or don't taste like anything at all. It drives him crazy.

Dee was a quiet and very well behaved toddler before Heavy was born. He never threw tantrums or got whims. After Heavy was born though, and despite the fact he understood his brother was small and needed special care, he started craving attention often and cried and got mad at little things. Typical jealousy of the oldest sibling.

The first time Dee fell in love with someone, he didn't recognize it was love at first. He just thought his interest on the person was born out of curiosity and aesthetic attraction, but as soon as he realized he seeked validation and companionship, that he liked seeing them smile, that he wanted to protect them, that he yearned for more time alone with them and that he wanted more than what just a simple friendship implied, it was an instant 'oh hell no'. He wanted those feelings to get the hell away, but unfortunately, they were there to stay.

Canonically likes MLP, psychological and horror anime like Death note and Hellsing, so I'm deciding he also watched Death Parade, had a FNAF phase, is very into The Walten Files. This guy enjoys any kind of specially dark ARG's and knows a ton of lore of real crime, unsolved cases, ghost appearances and other stuff. Doesn't believe in the supernatural, but sure is entertained by it.

He's a mess at romance. Flirting? His attempts at compliments are hardly flattering. Giving gifts? The best he can manage is jewelry and you can kind of tell he asked his dad for help. Dates? He's so nervous he's silent for most of it, but begins getting comfortable and having fun if his partner really knows how to get him down from his negativity cloud.

Ches

Pansexual.

He's very good with kids. He has the patience of a saint and he's laid-back, chill and fun but still is an authority figure who knows how to put limits. Sure, he's gonna let the kids light up a house on fire BUT hey, now they know everything about fire precautions, burns and how to treat them AND how to get away with arson. What an educational evening, am I right?

Due to certain info from the "Goodbye" official comic, I headcanon Ches as depressed. I don't want to elaborate a lot 'cuz of spoilers, but... God, everything related to his mom fucking hurts, man. How did he deal with all that?

Ches has been Dee and Heavy's babysitter so many times he cannot count them with all his fingers. He learned how to put those kids to sleep almost immediately (Sing Bon Jovi's "This ain't a love song" and any cheesy love song in a slow lullaby style and they're out), which movie were their favorite as kids (Heavy loved 'Monsters Inc.' and Dee never looked away during 'Meet the Robinsons'), how to console them after nightmares (Heavy needed reassurance, sweet words, and to be with someone until he fell asleep again. Dee just had to be tucked in, get his nightlight turned on and kissed in the forehead). He practically raised those kids along with Vicky and Glam.

More than once, Dee and Heavy have slipped and called Ches "Dad". Ches immediately gets his shit eating grin on and answers "Yes, son?" and does a couple of dad jokes just to mess and embarrass them. He's actually very flattered and surprised at how proud of himself he is for being a father figure to both kids.

Has a scar on the left side of his forehead due to a bottle his mom threw at him when he was younger, around the time he met Glam. He hates the scar with passion, it's a permanent reminder of the fact she never cared, that's why he always keeps it covered with his headband. Gets sad about it sometimes.

Ches likes to spend his time with a group of grannies of the nearby nursing home. He genuinely considers them his friends and gossips and hangs out with all of them on weekends. Bingo, billiards, walks in the park, soap opera marathons, you name it. I even designed them, gave them names and backstories... God, i just love the concept too much. I'll make some art about Ches and his granny gang FOR SURE, you're NOT ready for them.

Carries a pocket knife on him at all times. This man grew up on a bad neighborhood and absolutely knows how to defend himself, he can be intimidating when he wants to be and will pose a threat if needed. He's fucking terrifying when genuinely mad. Just cause he looks harmless doesn't mean he is, darling.

That would be all!

#metal family #glam metal family #ches metal family #victoria metal family #chess metal family #dee metal family #heavy metal family #metal family glam #metal family victoria #metal family dee #metalfamily #metal family heavy

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heartofholland · 4 years ago

Text

tom recs <3

hi guys! here is a fic rec list i made of all the fics i’ve loved. personally, i consider myself an avid fic reader so i have read a shit ton of fics. these are just my highlights. let me know if you want more like this! and if you do end up reading any of these please make sure you REBLOG them to spread the goodness. these writers work their ass off and deserve all the credit in the world. enjoy! <3

SERIES

riding my by @worldoftom this fic is barely started but i love everything this writer puts out. very smutty, very hot. innocence kink check!

breaking curfew by @wazzupmrstark ASSHOLE TOM! my weakness. enemies to lovers but make it FWB. what I wish my summer camp was like instead of my thighs sticking to chairs and lice outbreaks.

eighteen by @angelic-holland corruption/innocence kink! basically all smut but damn do i want bad boy tom.

the situationship by @fairytelling can’t say enough about this fic. the definition of falling in love with your best friend. if my relationship isn’t like this i don’t want it.

happiness is a butterfly by @blissfulparker soft mob!tom and they’re forbidden soulmates! updates are WELL worth the wait!

i only feel you by @stuckonspidey the first time i read my watch thought i was working out for how high my heart rate was. shit keeps you on your toes. there is a sequel fic but just a heads up you will want to unstan tom on multiple occasions.

make me love you by @mrs-hollandstan frat boy player tom turned soft. mans does a whole 180. fuck dom.

perfidy by @peeterparkr couldn’t be more obsessed with this fic. they’re both so fucking stupid but too afraid to get hurt. also the social media posts are so fucking cute and crucial to the story

eloped by @worldoftom getting married to tom in the most beautiful vacation spot? sign me the fuck up

you. by @txmhoelland i think there’s definely worse men to be set up with as a PR stunt.

erotas by @farfromparker i have definely read this fic for more days than i’ve been on this earth but every time i lose my goddamn mind

dare you to move by @starksparker-archive the best version of FWB tom is when you’re his roommate…

gone by @dahliaspidey this one… hurts. but i just know it will bounce back.

take me out by @angelic-holland warning this one is really dark. like serial killers. but it was so fascinating i am completely obsessed with the psychology of it all. jake is featured and please don’t imagine the mr. music the entire time like i did </3

single all the way by @heyhihellowhatsup0 i read this whenever i need a lil christmas pick me up

sweetener by @keepingupwiththeparkers cute awkward relationship. it is so real i feel like it could actually happen to me.

ex on the beach by @heyhihellowhatsup0 THE ANGST GIVES ME LIFE

SMUT

bartender by @t-o-m-holland tom happens to own your favorite bar. your subtle flirts aren’t working. the banter between reader and the fam makes me wish i didn't have social anxiety.

siren by @rosyparkers don’t get me wrong i will scream ACAB til the day i die but police officer tom could definitely get it.

best of three by @mrs-hollandstan one of the 3000 threesome fics i have saved. imagine not getting one of the hottest men but TWO.

roommates by @hollandbaby what a coincidence we both want to fuck each other! this checks all the kinks my man. i’ve read this probably no less than 100 times.

that was that by @moorehollandplz dom!tom but something flips and he’s never been more gentle. mans got both sides of the playing field covered.

know your enemy by @angelic-holland short but sweet. hate sex is always hotter behind the scenes.

wasabi by @angelic-holland literally everything about alice is phenomenal but this is on of my faves. when i read this it makes me feel smarter. also body shots.

say good night by @madmadmilk this writers work never fails to blow me away but this time she managed to encapsulate my entire life. (minus the execution with a very hot and experienced best friend).

buwygf-ib by @hholyholland just ignore tomdaya for a sec and take in the hottest dom!tom i’ve ever witnessed.

cocky by @sykoxartist yeah he’s an asshole but he’s your asshole. at least that’s what he thinks.

sovereign by @farfromparker sub!tom is so hot. man will beg for DAYS.

summer vacation by @kidney9-9 when is hate sex ever like…. not hot as fuck?

ride by @tomhollandsstan face riding. period.

coincidence by @starshinebucky actor!reader and tom fuck… at least they’ll have good chemistry next time.

skin by @hollandbaby dom!tom is not ok with being a sub. unless it’s for you.

you can bet on it by @kiwi-bitchez all of this writers smut makes my pussy throb. this is my fave. just wait for the twist.

a rose blooms by @cornacopicimagines prince!tom drives me wild. but wait til he finds out you’re not a virgin.

begging by @raewritesfiction tom makes you beg for it.

self reflection by @stuckonspidey this is actual proof tom has a praise kink.

minor inconvenience by @angel-spidey toms an idiot but at least he can get you off.

flesh by @starshinebucky cocky tom kills me.

keeping him nice and warm by @marvelouspeterparker mob!tom the gif itself to sends me.

after hours by @cornacopicimagines never had sexual tension with a teacher but this will do.

ANGST

josslyn by @multiharlot messy situation but reader handles it like a champ. if your heart isn’t broken enough, the last line will make sure it’s unfixable for days on end.

moral of the story by @kelieah listen to the song while you’re at it to make your cry sesh take a turn for the worst.

cherry by @xoluvx this one hurts real bad. so does the song.

a complicated love story by @samhollandssweaters an emotional rollercoaster for real.

he dies in the end by @allfandomxreader ignore the title and just cry your eyes out with me.

eighteen by @fancyxholland you’ll be confused why it’s in the angst category but trust me.

all the lies by @peteywillproceed getting cheated on but the girl is toms gf, how do you tell him.

memories by @nycparkers i sob to this whenever i need a good cry.

don’t be a fool by @nycparkers breakups that dont end messily make me so fucking jealous.

FLUFF

kiss currency by @madmadmilk borderline smut. confused and oblivious harrison. dialogue inspires me to talk to males.

plank all over me by @waitimcomingtoo FILRTY TOM! THE BANTER! i really am a whore for well written dialogue. there’s additional parts but i won’t spoil.

playing cupid by @marvelobsessedteenager you set everyone else up but wait a damn minute how did you forget about tom?

little flirt by @webslinger-holland oh to flirt with tom while he’s sweaty from intensely dancing for the lip sync battle.

pour it out by @rhapsodyparker i don’t know what it is but famous!reader going on talk shows or having interviews and they ask the reader cheeky questions about tom might be one of my many kinks…

hubby by @t-holland2080 it’s the small things that make me want to bawl my eyes out for being so lonely.

going live by @redrebecca the dialogue makes me cry of happiness! tom doing a live (what a concept).

paddy’s crush by @tom-holland-is-spiderman jealous tom but of his younger brother.

wannabe by @sailingintothenight the cliffhanger at the end demands a second part.

flawless by @missnxthingg tom is a simp.

you and me by @sunshinehollandd best friend tom makes me soft.

dick appointments. web shooters. the duality of a man. by @porterporker it gets a lil steamy but man is “web shooter” a funny name for a dick.

best day by @thollandss dad!tom gives me baby fever even though i am a virg.

tom asks your dad by @blissfulparker can i just skip through the bad boyfriends and just marry the love of my life already.

baked chicken by @waitimcomingtoo there isn’t a category for awkward but if there was this would be in it.

lover boy by @starshinebucky tom being so oblivious you like him that you need to call for backup.

afterglow by @wickedholland i wish someone would treat me like this when im drunk instead of leaving me to hold my own hair back.

#tom holland #tom holland fics #tom holland x reader #tom holland series #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #tom holland fic #tom holland writing #tom holland reader insert

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helliontherapscallion · 4 years ago

Note

Hello! Um hopefully this is ok but can you do a platonic poly relationship with tech reader and philza? And one day the reader comes over to there abode with a basket full of sweets and pastries (muffins bread ect-) also cottagecore quiet reader please she/they pronouns

Thank you! :D

(A/N): I’m back yall! Sorry I’ve been gone (in terms of writing/request doing) for so long, I just kinda lost motivation to write for a bit

Ok so you’re childhood best friends with Technoblade

You two met when you accidentally bumped into each other in the village by the sbi fam’s house

You were calmly along the cobblestone path when a cute dress in a store window caught your eye. You kept walking, but you were eyeing the dress as you walked by it. It was just your aesthetic: a vintage ruby red dress with laces tying the two sides together, a floused opening to the bottom of the dress, and puffy white sleeves. It looked like it was in your size too. It was absolutely perfect.

Just as you were about to walk into the store to check out the price, you bumped into someone and fell to the ground behind you. Looking up, you saw that the person that you bumped into was also on the ground looking at you. You saw that the boy was about your age with fair skin and long pastel pink hair tied into a messy ponytail. Peculiarly, he had small tusks poking out from his bottom lip, floppy pig ears on the top of his head, and crimson eyes. A piglin hybrid perhaps?

Feeling a small blush work it’s way onto your face, you quickly got up and held out a hand to the boy. “I am so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going! Are you okay? Here, let me help you up.”

He looked at your hand for a bit before he grabbed it with his own and allowed you to haul him up to his feet. You looked him up and down scanning him for any injuries he might’ve gotten from the fall. Luckily, it didn’t look like he got hurt. The boy looked down at his feet and bent over to pick up the picnic basket and the few muffins that dropped out of it. Putting the muffins back in, he handed the basket back to you with a small smile and a blush of his own.

“It’s really no problem, I’m fine so it’s no harm done. Actually,” he chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck, “I wasn’t looking where I was going either. I got distracted by that sword in the window.” He pointed with a thumb over his shoulder at the armory shop next to the dress shop. In the window was a shining golden sword glimmering in the bright sunlight. If you squinted, you could see a sign that said that it had a high level fire aspect and looting enchantments.

“Well, it looks really pretty. I don’t know much about swords, so maybe you could tell me about them? I’m (y/n),” you gave him a small smile and stuck out your hand once more. He shook it with a grin, “Technoblade.”

That was the start of a beautiful friendship with him and his family

You met Philza, his father

The avian was extremely excited and happy that his quietest son finally made a new friend

He treated you like you were his own daughter

You might as well be a part of the family with how much you came over to babysit Tommy or to just relax with Techno

You always bring over a basket of baked treats/pastries whenever you came over

Lemme just say, the family feasted and always fought over the last one

When you started to come over at least once a day for a bit with a basket full of sweets, Philza had to pull you aside and ask you to slow down a bit with the treats

“Hey (y/n) could I actually talk to you for a second?”

“Sure! Tech, I’ll be out in a sec.” The piglin hybrid curtly nodded and walked out the back door to the backyard. You smiled at Philza before you set the basket down onto the table and started to put the rolls onto a plate.

“I know it’s not much today, I didn’t have much time yesterday to bake.”

“That’s fine, but it’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Oh?” Internally, you began to panic slightly. Oh Ender, you didn’t do anything bad did you? You couldn’t think of anything you did wrong. In fact, you actively avoided any wrongdoing or talking to strangers. Oh no, were you accidentally rude to someone?

“You aren’t in trouble,” he smiled lightly when he saw you slump in relief, “I was just wondering why you always bring over baked things. Don’t get me wrong, they’re delicious and we really appreciate that you take the time to make us things, but we kinda have a little too much. Maybe slow down a bit with bringing them over?”

You felt an embarrassed blush spread across your face as you nodded and put all your focus into transferring the bread rolls over to the plate. “Sorry Phil, I just bake whenever I’m stressed or bored and I just have a lot left over after I give some to my family.”

“And that’s completely valid! Just maybe don’t bring over so much, breaking up the fights with Tommy, Wil, and Tech just gets a bit much at times,” he grinned and clapped a hand over your shoulder.

As the years passed, you and Techno only grew closer

You taught Techno how to do meticulous neat braids in his hair while in turn he taught you some self defense

Mans makes sure you can properly and efficiently wield a sword and shoot a bow and arrow

Poor guy can’t lose another friend

When he moves to the tundra, he invites you to live with him but you reluctantly refuse

You had Tommy and Wilbur to look after in L’manberg

Being pissed at Schlatt when he exiles them

Following them into exile leaving behind shocked Manbergians

They didn’t think you were capable of the screaming, let alone such profanity

Practically launching yourself at Techno when he agrees to helping Pogtopia

Him making sure that the withers don’t harm you, even going as far as hitting them and luring them away from you

Staying with Techno after L’manberg is reinstated under Tubbo’s rule

Starting to dislike leadership and governments in general after Tommy gets exiled (again)

Convincing Technoblade to let Tommy stay with you two

Absolutely hating governments when the Butcher Army places Philza under house arrest and rolls up to your guys’ house and takes Techno and Carl

They lock you in the house, but you pick the lock with the bobby pin you kept the bandana pinned to your hair with

You follow them to L’manberg and break down when you see the anvils crashing down onto Techno

Screaming profanities at the Butcher Army and taking out your sword to attack them not noticing when Techno runs away safely

Philza watching everything from the balcony and cheering you on

You almost take away one of Fundy’s (whom you considered to be your nephew until the whole Butcher Army incident) lives before you feel a sword slice your arm and an arrow shooting its way through your thigh

Turning, you gave Tubbo and Ranboo the fiercest glare you could as you were standing over a half-dead Fundy with a sword dripping blood hanging at your side

You, the soft spoken and sweet one that gave everybody baked goods wherever you went, screaming profanities at the festival and the execution was scary enough, but this?

Absolute nightmare fuel, gonna stick in their minds for a long time

You attempt to fight them but you lose and end up with injuries too severe for you to continue fighting

Philza being the one to yell at you to go home to the tundra telling you that Techno’s alive bc of a totem of undying

You felt kinda stupid after that, Technoblade never dies (you often half joked that he was immortal like Philza)

You limp home and get met with a bone crushing uncharacteristic hug from Techno

He patches you up after reassuring you that the blood on him wasn’t his (he tells you about the duel in great detail)

In turn you tell him about your 3 v 1 duel, feeling a bit dejected bc you ended up losing

Him being literally so proud of you for facing 3 people at once, but also scolding you slightly for going into it blindly

When Philza moves in, everything feels complete and fulfilled (at least to you)

You help Philza clean and dress his damaged wing

Also helping him do some physical therapy so that he could at least move it

Comforting him whenever he felt down about not being able to fly again

You invite him and Techno to cook with you and it surprisingly ends up better than you expected it to be

When Tommy betrays Techno, you and Philza end up being the only ones he could fully trust (later slowly adding Niki and Ranboo to the mix when The Syndicate is formed)

You are Harpocrates when The Syndicate is formed due to your quiet nature

Philza and Techno fully 100% supporting your decision of not wanting to reveal your identity

At the second meeting you show up with a full mask covering your face and the opposite of what you normally wore (more of a grunge type beat)

Only communicating in nods and writing at meetings, living up to your nickname

You never reveal your identity to Niki or Ranboo

Pleasant late night conversations around the fire with hot chocolate and your baked goods

Techno still lets you braid his hair (sometimes you even put flowers in it) from time to time

You braid Philza’s hair when it gets too long

Braid chains when yall get too bored? Hell yeah

Ultimately, you three become a strong family unit (goals)

General taglist (comment if you want to be added):

@crybabyjabby @izzybobizzy13 @goldenstarofthunderclan @bunnyz-pxstel @averytiredfanfictionwriter @dcml04 @sparkling-gayyyy @bbigbbrainn @thaticecreambish @kiinokochii @satansphatass @bxkubitch @bxmentchildxx @roxy3457 @montygator17 @feverish-dove @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @jichuuchaeng @404rynnotfound @luluwinchester @laura--444 @the-cult-classic-bitch @youngstarfishdinosaur

#sbi x reader #sleepy bois x reader #sleepy bois inc x reader #philza x reader #technoblade x reader #mcyt x reader #dream smp x reader #requests #hellion's requests #1k special #hellion's 1k special #tw: blood #tw: injury #tw: violence #tw: near death

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ahtsumu · 4 years ago

Text

目送 ; oikawa tooru

「alt. title: five times oikawa didn’t look back and the one time he did」

↳ pairing: oikawa tooru x f!reader

↳ synopsis: you spend a lifetime watching him go, sometimes with your stomach tied in knots, sometimes with tears in your eyes, but always with love.

↳ genre(s): angst, fluff, basically an emotional rollercoaster, non-linear storyline

↳ warning(s): profanity, depiction of a panic attack, suggestive themes

↳ length: 5.4k words

↳ a/n: hq fam how we doing after 402 ?? LOL anyway this is my birthday gift to oikawa tooru: my sun, moon, and stars, second to none, yadda yadda. the title is taken from a book with the same name, in case you were wondering. please pay attention to the roman numerals ahead of each section!! enjoy!

“This is the last call for Japan Airlines flight 717 to Buenos Aires, now boarding at gate number twelve. This is the last call…”

Goodbyes are hard when you know they’re forever. Or at least a while.

The clamour of Haneda airport dims to a faint buzz as the two of you continue standing with touching shoulders–– facing the jetliner instead of each other–– in futile hopes of delaying the inevitable.

Oikawa knows that you’re holding in your tears by the light tremors running through your body. Permitting himself to steal a look at your side profile, he notices the familiar tensing of your jaw and hard-set look in your red-rimmed eyes.

Tch. You said you wouldn’t cry.

Impulsively, he unzips his backpack and pulls out a familiar turquoise banner. It feels like just yesterday the team handed him the silk fabric with everyone’s farewell gifts wrapped inside.

Out-of-sequence memories of the Spring High qualifiers flash through your mind. The orange-haired Karasuno player’s spike ricochets off Oikawa’s forearms. The numbers on both sides of the scoreboard slowly inch up like they’re taking turns. Oikawa’s white knuckles against the metal basin. Red eyes. Heaving chest. Something soft against your skin. Rule the Court.

And just like the last time, he gently drapes it over your shoulders, brushing his fingers against your neck as he does so. God, how he wants to kiss you.

“But it’s yours,” you protest weakly, making no move to give it back.

“It won’t be for a while.” His voice cracks when he speaks. But it will be mine again when I come back for it.

He wants to kiss you. One last time.

He wants your mouth against his like absolution to a sinner because he knows that what he’s done to you, what he’s doing to you right now, is comparable to desecration. But he remembers the look on your face that night he broke the news to you. How your megawatt grin caved into a wince when the length of his contract with Club Athletico San Juan finally registered in your mind.

You swallow your feelings of betrayal. You knew what you were getting yourself into.

“Five years is an awfully long time to be apart,” you say after a while.

Oikawa bites his lip. He doesn’t have the heart to say that five was just the starting number. If he does well there, he’ll probably stay longer. He’ll probably do well there. “You don’t have to wait for me.”

Seconds drag into minutes. The cavity in his stomach festers as he waits for your response, but he has a feeling that he already knows your answer.

So instead, all he can do when your floodgates finally burst open is cup your face in his calloused palms and wipe away some of your tears before offering you his own watery smile.

Through your blurred vision, you watch as the boy in front of you steels his resolve and disappears from your life through the jet bridge, ignoring his heart as it begs for one last look over his shoulder.

Oikawa nods numbly when the old man sitting beside him asks if he’s leaving home for the first time. Home, he realises, isn’t anywhere with walls, isn’t an address, isn’t even a person. When someone says they want to go home, it’s not a space that they yearn for, but rather, a time.

He watches Japan grow smaller through the window and feels himself yearn for the time he still had your heart in his hands. It felt like he was holding the sun.

You wouldn’t consider July 21st to be a special day. Nothing special happened earlier that morning when you woke up without your usual alarm. Nothing special happened when your friends texted you four simple words–– come to Azukihana beach!–– during breakfast. But (and this will come to you much, much later) something special happened when said friends left you to guard their things as they dashed to the supermarket for more snacks.

For now, it’s just July 21st, and you’re lying with your back against a towel on the first day of summer break, soaking in the sun, peacefully flipping through a book.

“DON’T FUCKING DO IT, YOU COLOSSAL PIECE OF SHIT!” The familiar voice tears through the beach. Was that Iwaizumi? You set the book down and sit up to check.

And suddenly, the yellow and blue volleyball that had been leisurely rolling your way halts perfectly before your toes. Behind it jogs a shirtless brunet you’ve definitely seen around school.

Oikawa Tooru stops right behind the runaway volleyball and peers at you through half-lidded eyes. “Sorry about that,” he says, flashing you a charming smile.

After casually picking up the ball with one hand, he flexes his abdominal muscles as he straightens back up. Chestnut irises attempt to discreetly sweep over your features but you catch his gaze in the act, quirking an unamused brow. You also catch the intrigued twitch of his lips that follow.

You’re not stupid. Despite having never met him, you know a lot about the Grand King (as many call him). He’s the constant subject of Iwaizumi’s ire and you’ve heard a lifetime’s complaints about him at joint-family luncheons.

But here’s what’s important: you know that he tears himself apart to be the player his team needs him to be, that he sometimes makes Iwaizumi wish he’d passed the Shiratorizawa entrance exam, and that he fiddles with hearts like origami and sets fire to those beautiful fragile trinkets right after.

And in the interest of self-defence (but against what the devil on your shoulder begs), you choose to not place your most prized possession on the table.

A simple “no worries” passes through your lips. You return to your book. A page turns.

Oikawa Tooru is dismissed.

Though your gaze is trained on the page, you can feel his presence at your feet for a few seconds longer. You wonder what his next move is. Much to your surprise, instead of trying to strike up another conversation, he simply lets out an airy hum and strolls back to the sand court where he came from without a second glance.

Iwaizumi wonders why Oikawa is smiling so victoriously after watching the whole ordeal, but your tan family friend has, unlike the calculating Grand King, failed to notice one important detail:

your book is upside down.

And, as if in a trance, your eyes have followed Oikawa all the way back to his sandy kingdom.

Once the sun has set, Iwaizumi checks his phone and notices a text he’d missed in the afternoon. It’s from Y/N. Unease digs itself in his chest when he realises it can’t possibly be for anything except…

hey what was that about?

This can’t be good. Thumbs rapidly typing a response, he races to quash any interest you may have budding in Oikawa. You… you’re good. Nice. Smart enough for UTokyo. A bit naive, but he’s been around your overbearing parents long enough to see it’s not entirely your fault. And even though you run in different circles at school, he feels obligated to protect you from monsters that hide beneath pretty surfaces. He’s known you since the two of you were in diapers.

just trash being what it is

Iwaizumi watches the three grey dots on your side appear, disappear, reappear, and disappear again. And that’s when he realises that he cannot help you. The villain in this arc of your story has already sunken his teeth in your tender, unsullied flesh.

trash?

He sighs.

oikawa

It isn’t a surprise to Iwaizumi when summer break ends and Oikawa’s chestnut eyes start hunting for someone in the cafeteria during lunch. He doesn’t raise a brow when he hears that the second-year captain has been sneaking into Class 7, sometimes with flowers in his hands, and strolling out with a dazed look on his face. He slaps his teammates out of shock when Oikawa mentions his troubles with pursuing some girl–– but not before slapping himself first. Because the Oikawa he knows is not a chaser.

“Her name’s Y/N,” the brunet says, suddenly realising that he has never introduced any of his temporary interests to the team. But it’s been well over two months and he’s starting to think he’s been friend-zoned. Or worse. “I think she hates me.” He laughs melodically, then cocks his head in contemplation. “Is it weird that I kinda like that?”

Iwaizumi hides a satisfied smile behind a sip of water. Oikawa’s revelation has cleared the unease your name brought to his chest. Just a little. Perhaps he’d misread you. You have a bite of your own.

iii.

It’s routine for Oikawa to slink into Class 7 with a dazzling grin during morning break, but he’ll sometimes show up with flowers instead just to remind you that his affections, along with his modus operandi–– haven’t changed since he first started visiting you in September.

The girls in your homeroom have grown used to seeing the six-foot-tall volleyball captain hovering around your desk like a butterfly. Most treat him as part of the scenery nowadays. To them, Oikawa Tooru is no longer the mysterious, out-of-reach deity the rest of the school still paints him to be.

So when he strolls into class on a chilly January afternoon with your name a tune on his lips, they leave him be. Recently, the ladies of Seijoh have focused their attentions on some fellow on the swim team, anyway. Oikawa doesn’t feel as upset as he thinks he should about his shrinking fan club, but when his gaze finds yours already steady, expectant, utterly adoring on him, he understands why.

“For the lady,” he says like he does every time. A cluster of yellow flowers wrapped in brown kraft paper plop onto your desk. He pulls a chair up to your side, purposely ignoring, again, how two certain grooves in the wooden floor keep growing deeper with his visits.

You remember the first time he started bringing you flowers.

A posy of pink flowers sits awkwardly on your desk, untouched.

“I tell you I’d rather take your serve to my face than attend the bunkasai with you and your response is to give me weeds?” you reply with your chin in the palm of your hands, amusement blossoming over your features.

“Stop being a tease, Y/N-chan, they’re flowers,” he huffs, crossing his arms on your desk. “And I know you want to take them. The florist even said I have immaculate taste.”

“Really? Then what do these mean?”

Oikawa falters.

“Hmm?”

“Pink camellias,” he finally says, carefully enunciating the flower's name, “means that you’re a fucking tease. And that you should come to the bunkasai with me.” You snort and tell him to quit volleyball and join comedy club, feeling a strange warmth in your chest when he laughs.

The two of you fall into the same rhythm as always, talking a little bit about this and that, throwing in witty remarks where they belong, never passing up the chance to make fun of each other’s little idiosyncrasies. He’s enraptured by the way you string words together to describe the story behind your class’s bunkasai performance and all the gears in your brain whirr when he explains the strategy he’s using against the team Seijoh’s playing later that day.

When the bell rings, he reluctantly drags his chair back to the desk he stole it from. Just before he slinks back out the door, though, you tell him with a stern gaze that the Ushiwaka from Shiratorizawa he just spent the break shit-talking doesn’t hold a candle to Seijoh’s Grand King.

It’s like you had just stepped under a new light. Oikawa pauses in front of the doorway, trying to decipher what it is that’s different about you. And suddenly, the roses in his cheeks are in full bloom. Delighted and puzzled at his own realisation, he turns around without a second glance your way and strides back to Class 5. Oh, man, he muses as he passes through the emptying corridor. Oh, man. Iwa-chan is going to love this.

Your phone buzzes later that evening.

seijoh v. shiratorizawa 1-2, the text reads, quickly followed by, GAH.

Your lips twitch, though it doesn’t reach your eyes. Tapping your fingers against your phone screen for a response that’ll cheer him up, you suddenly remember a phrase Oikawa said earlier that day. It drew a laugh from you when it came out his contorted face. He was obviously still hung up over with the words of the opposing team’s ace. Hopefully, it makes him feel something else coming from you.

you should’ve come to shiratorizawa, you send, grinning.

His response is immediate.

l m f A O

what flowers would you like at your funeral?

And then you’re reminded of his petalled gift on your desk, now comfortably sitting in a glass vase at your bedside. Pink camellias, he said? Curious, you open your laptop and type in the name for its meaning.

Longing, you remember, watching your boyfriend chatter about something–– probably aliens–– animatedly. The yellow flowers on your desk, you realise, are ones you’ve never seen before.

“Oikawa, what’s the name of these?” you suddenly ask. He stops in the middle of his sentence (he was definitely talking about aliens, by the way), and grins smugly.

“Jonquils,” he says with a mischievous glint in his eyes, “spelt J-O-N-Q-U-I-L-S, means that your boyfriend’s going to colonise Mars one day. And if you’re lucky, you can be the first queen of Mars. How ‘bout that?”

It doesn’t mean what he says it does, by the way.

ii.

Splashes of pink and orange have already settled into the blue sky above when you step onto the rooftop of Seijoh’s humanities building. Despite the breeze that has swept through the air, the flame of curiosity in your stomach burns just enough for you to turn a cheek to the cold.

Come to the rooftop at 6 PM.

It’s 5:59. Impatient, you study the note in your hand again. Maybe you’ll be able to glean something from the laconic letter this time.

Much to your irritation, no one had seen the author of this note. They had expertly placed the unsigned card on your desk with a single rose and Hershey’s chocolate kiss on top during lunch. Elegantly scrawled, their seven words have had your brain running circles all day around their identity. Could it be…? No–– he seemed completely normal earlier today. Still, you can’t shake your suspicions. They borderline hope.

Who else…

You inhale the cool air deeply and lean back against the rooftop railing, eyes burning a hole into the metal entrance. The door swings open with a high-pitched groan. Your breath catches in your throat.

… if not him?

Time briefly stops when Oikawa Tooru steps through the entrance, still in his volleyball uniform, sweaty from practice, cheeks the same colour as the setting sun. There’s an unusually tentative look on his face, though it’s immediately wiped off and replaced with the realisation that this is real when he sees you slightly slack-jawed, blinking once, twice, three times before letting out a breath.

“You look surprised. Expecting someone else to confess today?” he asks, crossing his arms in front of his uniformed chest. Despite how his features are contorted by his poorly hidden jealousy, you can’t help but feel a flood of blood rush through your veins, lighting every inch of your skin on fire.

Because whether he knows it or not, Oikawa, the Grand King of the Court, prettiest boy in all of Miyagi, has skipped the table and placed his heart straight into your hands.

“Of course not,” you retort. “I just didn’t think you’d… well, do something like this.” And I didn’t want to get my hopes up. Iwaizumi’s words still find their way into your mind sometimes. I didn’t want origami made from my heartstrings.

Oikawa’s demeanour changes and his eyes dart away from your face. Shoving his hands into his windbreaker’s pockets, he admits, “I’ve honestly never done something like this before.” A faint blush spreads across his cheeks.

“Really? You’ve never stepped foot in the fourteenth shrine of Sendai?” you tease, referring to how Seijoh students have claimed this very rooftop as one of the God of Love’s many temples. You both know he holds the school record for the number of visits to this rooftop. At this rate, he could be one of its caretakers.

“That’s not what I meant,” he replies with a scowl, though the awkward tension between you two dissipates. And it feels like the two of you are back at your desk in Class 7, snickering uncontrollably while throwing playful jabs at each other. Sensing the change in atmosphere, Oikawa finally steps forward to join you by the railing.

Humming softly, he rests his elbows on the metal bar, props his head up with his hands, and sets his gaze on the lowering sun.

It’d be unfair to say that you didn’t at least try to enjoy the moment of peace with the boy beside you. But there’s a burning question on your mind that you can’t put off asking any longer.

“Why me?” you finally blurt out. “You could have any girl in this school. What made you choose me?”

The brunet whips his head around, disbelief written all over his face. “You think I chose to chase after the most annoying girl in all of Miyagi?” He laughs. “Ridiculous. I’d never willingly put myself through that unnecessary angst.”

You scoff and cross your arms.

“I think that when you like someone, it’s harder to explain why,” he quickly adds. “‘Cause it’s not supposed to make sense. I bet that the inability to explain your feelings is a prerequisite for true feelings, actually. It’s logical to say that you’d date Person A because they’re smart, or Person B because they’re hot, or Person C because they’re rich. But I’m pretty sure that that’s not… that’s not falling for someone. When you fall for someone… you just do. No logic required. You weren’t an option I ultimately settled on, Y/N. One day I just woke up and thought, if not you, then no one else.”

A beat passes. A flurry of words floods through your brain, only to evaporate when the devil on your shoulder decides that words aren’t quite adequate for what you want Oikawa to hear.

So instead, your feet take you one step closer into his space. Impulsively, your fingers find their way to his nape and your eyes flutter shut and suddenly–– suddenly, your parted lips brush against Oikawa’s. Instantly, he deepens the kiss, soft lips surging against yours like a pulse under pressure. You barely register his arms snaking around your waist, tighter and tighter until the space between your bodies is completely closed off.

Breathless, you finally detach your lips from his. Oikawa, who still has you encircled in his arms, pouts at the loss of contact, though he sulky façade only lasts a second before it gives way to a grin that stretches from ear to ear. He looks magnificent. Cheeks red, lips flushed, chest heaving, eyes wide with excitement. You want to kiss him again.

“One more.” It’s as if he read your mind. “To celebrate that last one.”

When Oikawa finally detaches himself from your lips, it’s to respond to the buzzing in his pocket. Noticing your raised brows, he explains that it’s an alarm for practice. The Spring High Prelims are just around the corner and he doesn’t plan on graduating without never having taken his team to Nationals.

“That’s my cue,” he states with a warm–– read: not apologetic–– smile. He doesn’t grab your hand or look imploringly into your eyes in hopes that you understand, never mind that you just shared your first kiss, never mind that you just became his girlfriend.

If Oikawa’s looking for any sign of your objection, he won’t find any. Instead, you step out of his space with an acquiescent nod. You knew what you were getting yourself into.

“Play well,” you say softly.

But before he heads for the creaky rooftop door, he presses one last kiss to your lips. And then he turns around, whistling as he goes, leaving you beaming behind his back with the light of a thousand suns.

iv.

When Matsukawa hands you the turquoise “Rule the Court” banner after the team lunch with a shit-eating grin on his face, the only resistance you offer is a resigned sigh.

“I’ve been dating Oikawa since we were second years,” you say flatly.

“Sorry, Y/N-san, but it’s the team’s hazing ritual,” he replies, not appearing sorry at all. “And you’re the only one who hasn’t done it.” He jerks his head at the blonde girl standing a little farther from the group with Hanamaki. “Emiko-san did it at the last game.”

“Plus, it’s the Spring High qualifier semifinals!” Kindaichi adds. “It’s an even bigger deal for you to do it now, especially since you had to miss our games on the first two days for school.” The team murmurs in agreement.

You shudder at the thought of your impending distress. Sit in the front row of the cheer squad and raise the banner with a scream every time your boyfriend serves? Fleeing from the Sendai City Gymnasium back home in an expensive taxi suddenly becomes very appealing.

Seeing the expectant and hopeful looks on the rest of the team’s faces, however, you begrudgingly place the banner in your backpack, signalling your acceptance of the horrible, cringe-worthy tradition.

“Where is Oikawa-san?” Kindaichi asks, rotating his turnip-shaped head around rapidly. “He was just at the team lunch. Iwaizumi-san’s missing too…”

Kunimi shrugs, pulling out his copy of the team schedule. He starts herding the team towards one of the courts. “Our game against Karasuno starts about an hour, so we should start warm-ups in around fifteen minutes.”

Worry creeps up your spine. For the past few days, all Oikawa has talked about is this match against his bratty kouhai’s team. And in the past two weeks leading up to today, you haven’t been able to even catch a glimpse of his face outside of break or lunch. To suddenly go missing before warm-ups doesn’t seem like Oikawa. You’re about to ask the team if he’s ever done this before, but your phone starts ringing a familiar tune and the question is set aside.

“Iwai––”

“Third-floor bathroom by the orange pillar. Come alone. Don’t tell anyone. Emergency.” Through his harsh and abrupt tone, you pick up traces of fear.

“What––”

“It’s Oikawa.” The call is cut before you can ask any more questions. Heart suddenly racing, you tell the team that your mother just called with questions about your new smart blender and excuse yourself to “explain what the manufacturers mean by salsify”. No one sees you bolt towards the nearest set of staircases with Oikawa the only thought on your mind.

There are very few things in this world that scare you. Stray hairs in the bathroom, the dark, essays longer than three pages… but the terror that short-circuits your brain when you find your boyfriend in the bathroom–– knuckles white around the sink, chest heaving violently, frenzied pupils surrounded by broken blood vessels–– trumps any fear you’ve faced before.

Iwaizumi stands helplessly beside him.

“Is he having a panic attack?” you question, still unable to move your feet. You’ve never seen Oikawa like this before. He’s the Grand King who hums while he walks, who spams your phone’s camera roll with peace-signs and funny faces, who winks and flirts and teases without regard. But watching the long-deified setter crumble like a measly human before you, you realise that Oikawa is also the guy who tore his meniscus from overexertion, who trades sleep to study his opponents play, who works his body to the bone just to stay a hairline above a certain Karasuno setter.

“A scout for the Schweiden Adlers said that Kageyama will soon surpass Oikawa in skill.” Iwaizumi explains how they had overheard the conversation lowly in your ear. “I got us into this bathroom just before he completely lost it. 5-4-3-2-1 isn’t working. And he won’t listen to a word I say.” What’s 5-4-3-2-1? Well, if it isn’t working then don’t focus on that right now.

Your eyes dart to Oikawa’s quivering body again. “I don’t know how to pull someone out of a panic attack.”

“The goal is to ground him. So use physical touch, make him feel something with texture, and get him to talk,” he responds instantly. Mechanically. Like he’s all-too-familiar with this set of instructions. A heaviness grows in the pit of your stomach when you realise what that means for Oikawa. And yet, from that very dread sprouts strength.

Slowly, you tread over to Oikawa and place a hand on his arm. His muscles tense under your touch but when you murmur over and over that it’s “Y/N, your girlfriend, the most annoying girl in Miyagi”, his fingers loosen ever-so-slightly from the metal basin. He lets you lead him to the bench by the door. He lets you drape the Seijoh banner over his shoulders like it’s armour and wrap your arms around his waist. He lets you press your cheek to his sweat-drenched back.

Get him to talk.

“Remember that quote you showed me from that interview of yours? What was it again?” you question softly.

No response.

“If you’re going to hit it, hit it until it breaks,” you say into his ear.

Through the mirror, you see his eyes widen with recognition. In the brief moment of lucidity that washes over Oikawa’s glistening face, you repeat the original question again, followed by his own quote.

Again and again.

And Oikawa finally says back.

“If you’re going to hit it, hit it until it breaks.” Focus re-enters his gaze. He blinks as if just waking from a spell.

“That’s right,” you say as firmly as possible. “So don’t you dare break first, Tooru.”

An unreadable blend of emotions scrawls itself over his features. While Oikawa washes his face with cold water, you remember rumination and resolve but can’t decipher the rest, giving up anyway when Iwaizumi pushes open the bathroom door. When the light washes over Oikawa, his face shows no signs of the episode he just had. It’s just like how the sky moves on after a storm, how the sun beams to say, “I’m here now. The rain has gone.”

But sometimes it still rains in spite of the sun.

A sunshower. It sounds so beautiful. But it’s wonderfully sad.

The three of you wordlessly make your way to the court where the rest of Seijoh is likely getting ready to warm up. What are you supposed to say after that? What can you say?

Once the smell of air salonpas and sweat finally greets your nose, Oikawa slips the Seijoh banner off his back and hands it over to you. Guessing that’s your cue to leave, you tell him to play well like you always do before starting to head for the upper deck. Softly, Oikawa asks you to wait.

“Stay for warm-ups,” he adds. “Please.”

From your spot behind the Seijoh divider, you carefully watch for any signs of another breakdown. To your relief, he goes the entire half-hour without a single crack in his disposition, exchanging laidback grins with the team, bantering with Iwaizumi. At one point he even has the audacity to taunt the Karasuno setter Tobio-chan, as Oikawa often says with a sneer.

Sunshowers, Y/N. Sunshowers.

Just before the referees call for the teams to line up at their ends of the court, Oikawa jogs over to you, eyes folding into thin crescents when he smiles.

He pulls the Seijoh banner out from your hands and gingerly cloaks it around your shoulders. Oikawa presses a quick kiss to your lips and murmurs, “Thank you.” Something in face tells you that it’s supposed to mean more than gratitude. Before you can read more into it, he turns back around and jogs to the line where his team awaits. Oikawa grins ferally.

Knowing that your luminous eyes are fixed to his back like his own set of wings, the monster crows on the other side suddenly look more like humans.

vi.

Oikawa isn’t surprised that his text is still unopened. At twenty-seven years old, he’s had his fair share of dead-ends when it comes to love. But he hadn’t expected radio silence from you of all people.

After closing all the tabs of Team Japan’s latest matches, he powers off his laptop and checks his phone again to reread what he wrote to your old number one last time. Still nothing. It’s highly probable you’ve changed phone numbers at least once in the last nine years, but the disappointment’s still there after he powers his phone off for the night. Tomorrow’s a big day and he’s not the same victim of self-destruction he had been in high school.

Or so he thinks, realising that texting the last person he loved the night before the 2021 Olympics volleyball finals might have been slightly irresponsible on his part. A thought arises in his head, though he quickly quashes it. Asking Iwaizumi to pass the message along would be a little overboard, wouldn’t it? Oikawa chuckles, imagining he response he’d get from his best friend (and Team Japan’s team trainer, that traitor).

“Go the fuck to sleep or I’ll put you to sleep, you dumbass simp,” he hears in Iwaizumi’s gruff voice.

He convinces himself that you’ll be there like you’ve always been. After all, he’s spent a lifetime with your pair of watchful eyes on his back. Satisfied, he drifts into a dreamless sleep.

The volume in the Ariake Arena is astronomical. Blood pounds against his ears as he sets the ball in the air, a monstrous grin carving into his face when his teammate José spikes the set straight down the net, drawing a wave of oohs and aahs from spectators on both sides.

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes at the flashy Team Argentina setter and finishes taping up Ushijima’s arm.

Oikawa turns haughtily towards the opposite team, gaze zeroing in on Team Japan’s raven-haired setter and the shrimpy ginger beside him. It’s been a while since he last saw them this close in person–– the chance encounter with Hinata in Brazil happened well over three years ago and he hadn’t had the time earlier in the tournament to say hello. Of course they’re the final boss in this arc, he muses, though the thought is void of vexation. Instead, begrudging pride blossoms in his chest. Truthfully, he had expected nothing less from his kouhai.

And he expects nothing less than finally tasting the ambrosia of victory against that monster–– no, an entire generation of monsters–– today. Monsters who happen to be the kids he grew up beside.

He wonders what you’d say at the sight of Japan’s greatest players all gathered on one court. On instinct, his eyes dive into the bleachers, searching for your face. Knowing he’s not likely to find you like this, he tsks, deciding to look for Iwaizumi instead. Maybe he knows where you are.

The referees signal for both teams to line up at their ends of the court. As he steps onto the white boundary line, he notices Iwaizumi’s gaze transfixed on someone in the upper deck on Team Argentina’s side. The neutral expression on his face morphs into shock, then recognition. And then he glances at Oikawa.

The latter’s brows furrow before everything clicks in place.

Who else…

All your memories together hit him at full force–– your face shimmering with tears in front of gate twelve in Haneda Airport, the feeling of your shallow breaths against his neck, the savvy lilt to your voice as you speak.

… if not her?

For the first time in his life, Oikawa Tooru looks behind his shoulder.

And there you are, leaning against the railing with the old Seijoh flag draped over your shoulders, a tender, splendid smile on your lips.

“Play well,” you mouth.

And Oikawa feels the sun rise back into his hands.

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