#//I watched his scene several times while giffing

[newobsessionweekly]

To protect and to love

Main masterlist | The Rookie masterlist

Tim Bradford x rookie!reader Fandom: The rookie

Summary: You unintentionally make Tim jealous, resulting with nothing good but a confession.

Action | Angst | Fluff

A/N: It's a long one I know. But I HAD to put some action and angst in it, i couldn't help it. Honestly I love it and I love to write about Tim. I hope you like it as much as I do. Have a wonderful day bubs and take care of yourselves. Lots of love

Warning: Mention of hurting, one "fucking" slipped somewhere in this, not proofread yet.

Requested: Yes Words: 4.4k GIF is not mine, credits to the owner!

The atmosphere in the bar was alive with the buzz of conversation and the clinking of glasses as you settled in with your colleagues. It was one of the many nights you and the rookies met after a long shift. It was some bond between the four of you even since academy and it felt nice. They started to feel like a family to you.

As Nolan approached with three drinks in his hands, the fourth person occupied the chair beside you, making your mouth to open in surprise and your heart to race. Tim, looking so perfectly even out of his uniform, so casually in his clothes, wearing the same grumpy expression.

"Oh, sorry sir, didn't know you'd join us today." Nolan excused himself for ordering only three drinks.

"Yeah, didn't know I'd be here either." Tim murmured under his breath, giving you an acknowledging smile. After weeks of persuasions from both you and Lucy, he finally gave up.

"I'm glad you came." you told him as you turned to give him a smile. He did the same, but it wasn't a natural one.

"Yeah, well, don't get used to it. This isn't really my scene." Tim admitted sharply, the wave of adrenaline and excitement that flowed over you, broke as soon as his grumpy expression appeared.

"So, Tim, what do you usually do after work?" Lucy asked, flashing him a mischievous grin.

Tim shrugged, taking a sip of his drink. "Usually just head home and catch up on some game I missed or hit the gym. Not really into the whole social scene."

"Come on, Tim, live a little!" Lucy chimed in, nudging him playfully. "You gotta let loose every once in a while."

You couldn't help but smile at the banter between your colleagues, grateful for the opportunity to spend time with them outside of the confines of work. But as you glanced over at Tim, you noticed a hint of tension in his behaviour, his jaw clenched slightly as he watched the scene unfold.

"So, Y/N, how's life as Tim's rookie treating you?" Nolan asked, turning to you with a grin.

You chuckled, shaking your head. "It's definitely been an adventure. Tim keeps me on my toes, that's for sure."

Despite being his rookie for some time now, you had never spent much time with Tim outside of work. But tonight was different, and you were determined to make the most of it.

Tim's gaze flickered to you, "If it's not a living hell, it means you have potential to become a good cop." you squinted at his words only for a few seconds before a sense of pride to wash over you as you smiled at him "But you're not there yet, so keep your head in the game."

Before the conversation could continue, you excused yourself to go buy another round of drinks. As you made your way to the bar, you felt the weight of several lingering gazes on your back, casting a subtle aura of discomfort. Some eyes stopped over your body as you asked the bartender for a refill, giving them one of the best views. Tim's eyes followed each glance, noting the subtle gestures and expressions of the onlookers. And he counted them one by one.

The handsome bartender took his time to do the refill, as his eyes examined you, flashing you a charming smile.

"Hey there, beautiful." his voice was low and seductive if you think about it, but it wasn't close enough to the one you actually found yourself drawn to. "What brings you here tonight?"

As Tim was left alone at the table with the rookies, he found it almost impossible to focus on their conversation, as his gaze kept drifting back to where you stood at the bar, engrossed in conversation with the bartender.

"Oh, just blowing off some steam after a long day at work." you responded politely and considered giving him a chance.

At this point, you couldn't shut people off for some feelings that are in vain anyway. You need to go back in the game if you didn't wanted to be a single 45 year old cop, redecorating your house on your own between shifts like Nolan. That wasn't nice, you scolded yourself for the thoughts.

"Sounds like you could use a drink then. Let me guess, you're a cop, right? You've got that look about you." the bartender asked with a grin as he wiped down the counter with a cloth.

Tim's jaw clenched with frustration, a surge of jealousy coursing through him as he observed the subtle flirtation unfolding before his eyes. He couldn't shake the feeling of unease that gnawed at him, a sense of possessiveness clawing at his chest as he struggled to contain his emotions.

"Tim, is everything okay?" Lucy's voice broke through his reverie, her concerned expression drawing his attention.

Tim forced a tight-lipped smile, his features taut with tension as he tried to mask his inner turmoil. "Yeah, I'm fine," he replied curtly, though his tone betrayed his true feelings.

You chuckled at the bartender assumption, shaking your head "No, no. Nothing like that. I work for the city, but I surely don't have what it takes to be a cop." you admitted, drinks in your hand, lingering a little bit more.

"Ah, close enough though." he leaned over the counter, taking his chance to have a closer look at you. "Mark" he introduced himself with a friendly smile.

"Y/N" you responded politely, as you played his game, leaning in his direction.

"So, what do you say we grab a drink together sometime, Y/N ? I know a great place just around the corner." he proposed, his eyes sparkling with genuine interest.

Mark's easy charm and attentive conversation had left a positive impression on you, and you found yourself looking forward to meeting him.

But Lucy wasn't convinced by Tim's response, her brow furrowing with concern as she regarded him intently. "Are you sure? You seem a little...off," she persisted, her voice laced with concern.

Tim hesitated, torn between his desire to confide in Lucy and his instinct to keep his emotions guarded. "It's nothing, just...work stuff," he deflected, his tone clipped as he avoided her gaze.

Lucy nodded in understanding, didn't want to cross any boundaries, so she just let the subject drop. Anyone could see from afar that Tim was uncomfortable, little did anyone know he was feeling like that because you're not around.

Not even Tim knew why he couldn't take his eyes off of you or why he felt like his heart tightened with every laugh travelling to the table.

"Yeah, we could do that." you replied to Mark, considering his offer before hearing the unmistakable beat of footsteps you can't possibly erase from your mind.

Unable to stand by and watch any longer, Tim made his way over to you, determination etched on his face. "Hey, everything okay here?"

You glanced up, surprised to see Tim standing before you. "Oh, uh, yeah, everything's fine. Just getting the drinks."

The handsome bartender eyed Tim warily, sensing the tension in the air. "Is this your boyfriend?"

Tim's jaw clenched at the question, his gaze narrowing as he locked eyes with the stranger. "Something like that."

"Uh, Mark, this is Tim, my trainer from the job." you clarified, trying to make as bearable as possible the atmosphere shift.

Mark nodded in understanding, though a flicker of confusion crossed his features at Tim's abrupt attitude and he regarded your TO with a polite smile, extending a hand in greeting.

"Hey there, I'm Mark. Nice to meet you," he said, his tone friendly despite the underlying tension.

But Tim's response was anything but friendly. With a frustrated growl, he slammed his fist against the counter, the sound echoing through the bar. "Excuse me," he muttered tersely before turning on his heel and storming out of the bar.

His fists were clenched with frustration and your heart sank with a mixture of confusion and disappointment. You watched him go, your mind reeling with unanswered questions and a deep sense of hurt.

Confusion clouded your thoughts as you tried to make sense of Tim's sudden outburst. Had you done something wrong? Was he angry with you? The uncertainty gnawed at you.

But beneath the confusion, a flicker of disappointment burned within you. You had hoped that tonight would be a chance for you and Tim to bond outside of work, to bridge the gap between you. But his sudden departure had shattered those hopes.

Tim's mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. Jealousy burned hot within him, a primal instinct that had ignited the moment he saw another man hitting on you.

But beneath the jealousy, a deeper sense of frustration simmered. Frustration at himself for allowing his feelings for you to cloud his judgment, for letting his jealousy get the better of him. He knew he had no right to stake a claim on you, no right to feel possessive or territorial. But try as he might, he couldn't shake the feeling of unease that gripped him whenever he saw you with another man.

As he made his way through the crowded streets, Tim's thoughts were consumed by visions of you and the handsome bartender, laughing and flirting as if he didn't exist. The image burned like a brand on his mind, fueling his anger and driving him further into the depths of despair.

Monday morning is usually a pain in the ass, but with the events that occurred last Friday at the bar, and Tim's attitude towards you, harsher and grumpier than usual, it was a morning out of the burning hell. Your heart was racing as he instructed you, curt and on point, on what will happen next.

May have been a few days since the incident at the bar, but the memory lingered in the back of your mind like a stubborn shadow. Despite your best efforts to push it aside, the tension between you and Tim was palpable, a silent undercurrent that simmered beneath the surface.

You knew that he was testing you, pushing you to your limits in an attempt to prepare you for the cop life, but beneath his tough exterior, you couldn't help but sense a hint of something else—something that felt uncomfortably like jealousy.

The morning sunlight bathed the patrol car's interior as you and Tim cruised through the LA streets, the radio's steady hum punctuating the silence between you.

Your usual chitchat about the rookie book is now replaced by a brooding silence, his knuckles white as they gripped the steering wheel. You stole a glance at him, noting the furrowed brow and the distant look in his eyes, and couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness at the gulf that seemed to have grown between you.

The radio crackled to life, dispatch's voice cutting through the quiet."7-Adam-19, we have a noise complaint at 123 Oak Street. Caller reports a disturbance in one of the apartments. Please respond."

Tim glanced at you, and you tried to read something in his eyes as he keyed the mic. "Copy that. We're en route."

There was nothing to be seen in his eyes, but you took your time to admire him in silence, your mind playing all the memories since you became his rookie, couldn't stop the thought that maybe the flicker that burned inside every time you touched his arm by mistake, every time he smiled at you, every time he made you smile, was indeed something. You always tend to question your feelings, rather they're justified or in vain, and this one was surely in vain.

There's no way a man like him, so put together, so ambitious — so handsome— would have even the thought of liking a rookie, you thought. You considered this whole situation too stupid, probably every single woman that comes past Tim fall in love with him.

As you pulled up to the apartment complex, the sounds of raised voices and slamming doors greeted you, sending a shiver down your spine.

"This could get messy," you muttered, your voice tense with apprehension.

"And we're prepared for this kind of situations. But if you don't feel like it, you can give up the badge." his voice is harsh and his expression is far from nice.

"That's not what I meant." you mouthed under your breath and followed Tim into the building.

As you reached the door of the apartment in question, you exchanged a wary glance with Tim before knocking firmly. The door swung open to reveal a chaotic scene inside, a group of men engaged in a heated argument that showed no signs of abating.

"LAPD! Hands where I can see them!" your voice cut through the chaos like a knife, but if anything, it only seemed to stoke the flames.

In an instant, the situation erupted into chaos, with shouts and curses filling the air as fists flew and bodies collided. You and Tim sprang into action, replaying in your mind everything you learned from the academy and your TO. But just as you thought you had gained the upper hand, the situation took a sudden turn for the worse. A shout rang out from the far end of the room, followed by the sound of shattering glass as a fight broke out between two of them.

With adrenaline coursing through your veins, you and Tim moved swiftly to intervene, but the situation quickly spiraled out of control. Amidst the chaos, you found yourself grappling with one of them, seven feet tall man and muscular construction, your heart pounding in your chest as you fought to maintain control.

Tim knew not to mess up his personal life and his professional one, he did it once and didn't end well. He weighed his decision over and over again, continuously adding pros and cons to the equation. It was safe for you to deal with this kind of men? Probably not, but if he would go soft on you and pick an easy target it would mean he let his feelings step out and fail you as your TO.

All Tim could do in this situation was to have your back no matter what and make sure you get home safe to meet with that stupid bartender. That thought run fast like the wind and bought back your laughter from that night hunting him once more. The lovely eyes you gave that man and the smile so bright, a smile he saw for the first time.

Your focus narrowed on subduing the individual before they could inflict harm. In the heat of the moment, you failed to notice another figure advancing towards you from the side.

Suddenly, a sharp blow struck your side, sending a jolt of pain radiating through your body. Gasping, you stumbled backward, momentarily disoriented as the room spun around you.

"Y/L/N!" Tim's voice cut through the haze of pain, his tone laced with concern as he rushed to your side. "You okay?"

Grimacing, you nodded weakly, trying to push through the pain as adrenaline surged through your veins. But with each breath, the pain in your side seemed to intensify, a constant reminder of the mistake you had made in letting your guard down.

Tim's grip tightened on your arm, his eyes scanning you for signs of injury as he assessed the situation. "Officer down," he said firmly into his radio, his voice tinged with urgency "Send backup and R/A."

Despite the pain coursing through your body, you forced yourself to focus, pushing aside the fear and uncertainty that threatened to overwhelm you. With Tim's support, you managed to regain your footing, the determination in his eyes giving you the strength to move on.

When one of them hurt you, the rest managed to move the circus outside the building, now armed and pointing the guns to their heads. You handcuffed your attacker and Tim dealt with the one stuck under you in the ambush. As you pushed the man down to the car with trembling feet, barely holding steady, you heard sirens cut through the air, signaling the arrival of backup. With a sense of relief washing over you, you spared a quick glance toward the parking lot, where a team of officers rushed between the men, their presence a welcome sight amidst the chaos.

"LAPD! Drop your weapon!" Nolan began, approaching the chaos as their eyes counted the police officers surrounding them. "Hands where I can see them, on the ground, face down!" he demanded as you and Tim put the suspects in the backseat of the car. "Spread your arms and legs!"

As the men followed Nolan's instructions, you tried to join your colleagues and handcuff the suspects, but Tim's hand stopped you in place. "Go sit down. You did enough." he instructed, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Despite the urgency of the situation, there was a steely resolve in his eyes as he focused on ensuring your safety above all else. Feeling a surge of frustration welling up inside you, you opened your mouth to protest, but Tim's stern gaze silenced you before you could speak. With a heavy heart, you complied with his orders, a paramedic guiding you to the ambulance for a search.

The sound of Tim's voice rang out through the chaos, his words echoing in your mind as he barked orders to his fellow officers. But amidst the chaos and confusion, it was clear that Tim's focus was solely on the task at hand, his attention unwavering as he worked to bring the situation under control. And as you watched from the sidelines, a sense of hurt and disappointment washed over you, the sting of Tim's words cutting deep as you struggled to make sense of the situation.

With the suspects now securely restrained, Tim turned his attention back to you, his expression tight with frustration as he approached. "What were you thinking, officer Y/L/N?" he demanded, his voice laced with anger as he confronted you.

Caught off guard by his harsh tone, you felt a lump form in your throat as you struggled to find the right words to respond. "I...I didn't see them, sir," you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper as you met Tim's gaze.

But Tim's expression remained unforgiving, his frustration palpable as he glared down at you. "You could have gotten yourself killed out there," he snapped, his words biting as he chastised you for your reckless actions.

As Tim guided you back to the patrol car and began the journey back to the station, the air between you was heavy with tension. There was an awkward silence that seemed to stretch on endlessly, punctuated only by the sound of the radio crackling with dispatch updates.

As Tim sat behind the wheel, a whirlwind of conflicting emotions churned within him. He couldn't shake the sense of shame that gnawed at him, a bitter reminder of how his feelings for you had clouded his judgment during the call.

Seeing you hurt had unleashed a torrent of emotions within him, overriding his instincts as a cop and blinding him to the dangers that still lurked nearby. In that moment, all he could think about was protecting you, shielding you from harm at any cost.

But in his haste to ensure your safety, he had let his guard down, allowing the suspects to slip through his fingers and jeopardizing the success of the mission. The weight of his mistake bore down on him like a crushing weight, a stark reminder of the consequences of letting his personal feelings interfere with his professional duties.

As he drove back to the station, the silence in the car was suffocating, amplifying the cacophony of thoughts that raged within his mind. He couldn't shake the sense of disappointment that gripped him, a bitter reminder of how he had let you down when you needed him most. When you needed him to be your role model, the person you should've learned from.

You couldn't help but feel a sense of unease gnawing at you, the weight of Tim's disappointment hanging heavily in the air. With each passing moment, the silence grew more oppressive, suffocating you with its intensity.

Glancing over at Tim, you feel a pang of guilt at the sight of his clenched jaw and furrowed brow. His usually expressive eyes were now unreadable, a mask of frustration and disappointment that sent a shiver down your spine.

As you wrestled with your own feelings of guilt and self-doubt, you couldn't shake the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. Tim's silent treatment spoke volumes, a clear indication of his disapproval of your actions during the call.

Despite your best efforts to break the silence, Tim remained resolutely silent, his gaze fixed firmly on the road ahead. "Tim, are you okay?" you insisted. But your words seemed to fall on deaf ears, his gaze fixed straight ahead as if lost in thought.

"I'm fine, officer Y/L/N." he muttered tersely, his voice clipped and devoid of emotion. But you could see the tension in his shoulders, the furrowed brow that betrayed the turmoil that raged within him.

You weren't about to let him brush you off that easily. "No, you're not," you insisted, your voice tinged with concern. "Something's bothering you, Tim. I can tell."

He shot you a sharp glance, his eyes flashing with irritation. "I said I'm fine," he snapped, his tone sharp and biting. But you could see the pain that flickered behind his eyes, a vulnerability that he tried so desperately to hide.

"Tim, please," you pressed, reaching out to touch his arm gently. "You know you can talk to me, right? Whatever it is, I'm here for you."

For a moment, Tim seemed to waver, his defenses crumbling under the weight of your words. But then, as quickly as it had come, the moment passed, and he withdrew from your touch, his expression hardening once more.

"I don't need your pity, Y/N," he spat, his voice laced with bitterness. "I can handle this on my own."

But you refused to back down, refusing to let him push you away. "This isn't about pity, Tim," you countered, your voice steady and unwavering. "I care about you, and I want to help. But you have to let me in."

Tim's jaw clenched with frustration, a surge of emotion bubbling to the surface as he struggled to contain his feelings. "I cannot change my feelings for you, believe me I fucking tried," he blurted out, the words tumbling from his lips before he could stop them.

The admission hung heavy in the air between you, a raw and unfiltered glimpse into the depths of his heart. And as you looked into his eyes, you could see the pain and anguish that swirled within them, a reflection of your own inner turmoil.

"I need to know that you're safe. Because I care about you," he continued, his voice softer now, tinged with vulnerability. "I kind of like you. And I lost control today because you got hurt. And I lost it too at the bar because you were flirting with that good of nothing. "

The words hung in the air between you, a silent acknowledgment of the truth that lay beneath the surface. And as you stood there, locked in a moment of raw honesty, you knew that your relationship with Tim would never be the same again.

The weight of his confession hung between you like a heavy fog, casting a shadow over the otherwise quiet interior of the car.

You glanced over at Tim, his expression guarded and unreadable as he focused on the road ahead. The air was heavy with emotion, a silent barrier that seemed to stretch on for miles.

"Tim, I..." you began, your voice faltering as you struggled to find the right words. But Tim cut you off before you could finish, his tone sharp and dismissive.

"I don't want to talk about it, Y/N," he snapped, his hands tightening around the steering wheel. "Just forget I said anything."

But you couldn't let it go that easily, couldn't let him push you away when all you wanted was to be there for him. "Tim, please," you pleaded, reaching out to touch his arm gently. "I need you to understand that I feel the same way."

His eyes flickering with uncertainty as he glanced over at you. "What do you mean?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I mean what I said." taking a deep breath, you summoned all of your courage, pushing aside your fears and doubts as you spoke "I have feelings for you, ok? But I tried to push them away because I didn't want to complicate things. But after you told me..."

Tim's grip on the steering wheel tightened, his knuckles turning white as he processed your words. For a long moment, neither of you spoke, the silence stretching between you like an unbridgeable chasm.

Then, finally, Tim let out a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumping with defeat. "I don't know what to say, Y/N," he admitted, his voice tinged with resignation "Things are complicated now, for sure." he chuckled, smiling at you as he parked the car.

"You and me, dinner. Tonight." you demanded, trying to play it off like nothing happened. "We talk about it like grownups."

"It's a date, then." he nodded in agreement, forcing his lips to form a straight line, to hide his dumb smile. "I-I.. I mean if you want to." he stumbled upon his words, scratching the back of his head nervously.

"Yes, Tim. I'd love that." you smiled at him as you both took the men from the backseat and guided them through the corridor of the station.

"Tim and Y/N sitting in a tree—" one of the men started mocking the scene they witnessed, but you and Tim cut him off

"Shut up."

[tkwrites]

Five Days of Joy

Gif from neekshq

Title: Five Days of Joy

Author: Tory / @tkwrites 

Relationship: Quinn Hughes x Sarah Roberts

Summary: Sarah joins Quinn at his family reunion. There’s laughter and tears and some spicy time as they sneak time alone. Sarah bonds with Jim over the loss of their mothers and explains why her dad loved Costco so much. She and Ellen bond over their partners being gone for stretches of time. A black bikini has Quinn practically drooling. The whole family goes on a beach adventure with Sarah in the lead. More than anything else, Quinn and Sarah fall more and more in love. 

Warnings: Smut (18+ Only!) There are 3.5 sex scenes spread throughout this piece: Unprotected sex - p in v (wrap it up unless you’re in a consenting relationship!), Oral & Fingering (m & f receiving), car sex, semi public sex if you squint, Angst and Fluff. Really, we’re going through the whole gamut here. 

Word Count: 16,400

Comments: This took an incredibly long time to write. Mostly because it's incredibly long. The longest fic I've written to date. I had so many days to encompass into this piece. There were several times when I thought a day was going to be quite simple, but the story demanded more.

I love the way it turned out and hope you enjoy it!

If you did, please let me know by commenting, reblogging, or sending in an ask. Your encouragement and comments truly inspire me to keep writing. 

Anonymous asked: i cant wait to see sarah come to the family reunion

Anonymous asked: omg the famiyl reunion and all the little cousins immediately loving sarah and her siting on the floor with them just playing and quinn watching with a love sick look

Anonymous asked: sarah coming to the lake house for the first time and being so exicted to see the water life there and all different living things and quinn is just sitting and walking with her as she looks at everything! did that make sense? idkkk

Anonymous asked: I've thought about Sarah taking some of Quinns cousins on a little adventure on the coast wading through tidepools during the family reunion. I think this would fit what you're thinking of a little more. 💜 AWWWW! yes this is even better!

nicenamebutitsalreadytaken asked: Some fic ideas…. #2: more Ellen and Sarah girl time! I loved their talks while they got pedis! #3: Jim and Sarah bonding over the loss of parents. Jim filling some sort of fatherly void in Sarah’s life. I know she’s too old for a father-daughter dance, but something of that vibe.

I feel like there were more asks that are being answered in this, but in looking through them, I couldn't find more.

Five Days of Joy

A Quinn & Sarah Snapshot

Day 1 (The Arrival):

Quinn reached over to squeeze her knee as they pulled up to the cabin. Okay, so it was more of a house, but for all intents and purposes, to his family, it was a cabin.

“Ready?” he asked. 

She pulled a deep breath into her lungs and nodded. 

At the crunch of tires on the gravel driveway, his cousins came running from the backyard, all lined up and clamoring for a front row view of Sarah’s arrival.  

“I’m sorry about this,” he said, glancing over at them. 

“About what?” 

“My cousins. They’re all really excited to meet you.”

“That’s sweet,” she said, glancing over at them. 

“They can just be a little much.”

She shrugged, “they can’t be any worse than my nieces were to you.” 

Ellen watched from the porch as Quinn laughed in the driver's seat of the car. It wasn’t that he was depressed without Sarah here, but he seemed a little looser with her beside him — quicker with a smile and a laugh. She hoped he would be a little more forgiving now that Sarah had finally arrived. Quinn always had a bit of a temper, but it seemed like she soothed some of it down. 

They got out of the car and Andrew’s kids jostled to the front of the crowd, bouncing off of and hitting each other in a way that was so reminiscent of her own boys, it made Ellen choke up a little. 

Walking around the front of the SUV, as Quinn pulled her bag from the back, Sarah waved. Even after a day of travel across the country by plane and then a two hour drive, her smile was still genuine. 

The smallest of the cousins, Nova, ran to Sarah right away. She didn’t miss a beat, squatting down to gather the five year old into her arms. 

“What’s your name?” 

“Nova! What’s yours?” 

“My name is Sarah. I like your dress.” 

“Thanks,” she said, swinging her hips as she pulled on the skirt of her striped dress printed with balooga whales. 

She ran back to her sisters, telling them in a whisper that could be heard from the next township, “she’s really pretty.” 

Laughing, Ellen stepped off the porch and gathered Sarah into a hug “I’m so glad you could come.”

“Thank you for inviting me. It’s so beautiful here,” she said as Quinn walked up and took her hand. “I’ve never been to New Hampshire.”

Introductions were made, at least 50 of them. The hardest thing for Sarah to keep track of was how everyone was related. Both Jim and Ellen’s siblings were there, as well as some friends that seemed like they were basically family. All of them were staying in houses rented nearby. On the drive, Quinn told her this was the first year they were bringing both families together. It just so happened that both were planning reunions over the 4th, so when Quinn’s parents suggested they all come together, everyone had agreed. 

“I hope it’s not too overwhelming,” one of his aunts said. 

“My mom is one of nine, so it can’t be any more confusing than my family,” Sarah assured.

“Well,” Ellen said, picking up one of her bags, “lets get you settled in.” 

Once everyone got over the novelty of her, Sarah excused herself to shower, saying she needed to “wash off the plane smell.” 

“You ready?” Ellen asked, finding Quinn in the front room, reading. 

“For what?” he asked at the same time she wondered, “where’s Sarah?” 

“The store,” she reminded. “We’re all going to make sure everyone gets what they want?”

“Oh, shit I’m sorry, mom,” Quinn said, “I completely forgot. Sarah’s in the shower.” 

Glancing at her watch, Ellen wondered if they could wait. 

“Just go. We’ll go later if we need to. I don’t want to leave her here alone.” 

His mom gave him a knowing glance and asked, “is there anything she really likes?” 

“Peppered turkey if you’re getting lunch meat,” he said, “and hot Cheetos if you’re getting chips.” 

Noting them on the shopping list, Ellen asked, “Cereal?” 

“She really likes raisin bran.” 

“Seriously?” 

He shrugged, “she has it all the time.” 

“Okay. Don’t have too much fun while we’re gone.” 

Rolling his eyes, Quinn mumbled that they wouldn’t and watched them pile into the cars and drive away.

By the time he’d waited to make sure no one was turning back, Sarah appeared in the doorway. “Where is everyone?” 

“The store. Mom wanted us all to go together, but I forgot.” If he weren’t so excited to be alone in the house with Sarah, he would call his mom to come pick them up. They couldn’t be far down the road. 

“Oh.” Guilt twisted at her stomach.

“It’s fine,” he assured, “we can go tomorrow if we need to.” 

 “That’s not really the same thing,” she said as she walked to the couch.

“It’s okay,” he assured. “My mom still loves you.”

She flopped onto the couch next to him and took his hand. She missed these simple things - the ease of touching him and the comfort of having him near. 

“I missed you,” she said, laying her head on his shoulder. 

“I missed you too,” he agreed, turning to press a kiss into her hair. 

It was so nice to just be close to her. This summer had to be this way, but it didn’t make missing her any easier. 

The longer they stayed pressed close to each other, the warmer she got. Not only from his furnace-like body heat, but also his smell and the feel of his solid, muscular chest under her shoulder. An insistent want to really feel him was growling deep in her. 

“What are you doing?” Quinn asked as Sarah climbed into his lap. 

Knees bracketing his hips, she settled on his thighs. “I thought that was obvious,” she said, tossing her hair over one shoulder and leaning in to kiss him. 

“Should we go upstairs?” 

“Want it now,” she whispered against his mouth.

“What if they come home?” he mumbled before their kiss could ignite. A trip to the grocery store wasn’t a short thing with their family, but with all of them together, he imagined they’d try to get out as soon as possible.  

“Just wanna make out for a while,” she said, lips feather light over his mouth. “We can have sex tonight.”

Quinn groaned, sinking fully into the kiss in a way he hadn’t yet allowed. It was difficult for him to convince himself to come up for air when they kissed like this, and letting that loose while his whole extended family was in the house wasn’t the best idea. 

“We have to keep this PG,” she said, moving his hands from where they were pushing her shirt up. 

“Why?” he whined. 

“Because your family is coming home. And who knows when they'll be back. I, for one, don't want to face your grandpa with my chest out because you couldn't wait."

“Which is why we should go upstairs,” he argued. 

“Just kiss me, Quinn.”

He obeyed, and as he pulled her hips flush to his own, decided he could wait until that night.   

“Jack, can you go in first and make sure Q isn’t doing something indecent?” 

Jack wrinkled his nose, “ew! Mom, no!” 

“Go,” she hissed, “they haven’t seen each other in three weeks. I don’t want one of the kids to walk in on them accidentally if they got carried away.”

“If they’re having sex in the front room, they deserve to be caught.”

“Jack, just go,” she said, leveling him with an exasperated stare. 

“Fine,” he grumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Upon entering the house, he found Sarah on top of his brother on the front room couch. They were, thankfully, fully clothed, but Quinn had a handful of her hair and a handful of her ass as they kissed. Sarah took a deep kissing breath. He could see her tongue, see the blissed set of Quinns features. He found himself smiling, glad that Quinn had finally found a girl to put up with him.

It was probably messed up, but this was the first time he’d found Sarah at all attractive. He felt pretty indifferent about her generally, but appreciated that she made Quinn happy and was willing to try with their crazy, extended family. Now, seeing Quinn hold her brought up torturous memories of Madeline - of feeling her curves and the solid weight on top of him.

One of his cousins came running up the front walk, and the sound of her sandals slapping against the concrete brought Jack back to the task at hand.

“Family’s home!” he yelled before Ellie got inside. 

Shocked, they sprang apart as if caught naked or robbing a bank. Sarah backed away so quickly that her calves hit the coffee table, and she plopped down on it to save herself from falling over. She wiped her mouth, and Quinn pulled a pillow onto his lap. They were looking everywhere but at each other. 

“Sarah,” Ellie asked, running into the room, “Sarah, did you put on lipstick?” 

Her hand went to her mouth, eyes wide as she finally looked at Quinn, who blushed. 

Jack laughed some more. “Nah,” he said, ruffling her hair, “that’s just what happens when the whole family has to go to the store to give you time to get it on.”

Sarah rolled her eyes and finally stood, adjusting her shirt. “We were not getting it on.” 

“Looked like it to me,” Jack said with a shrug. 

"Then you are watching the wrong kind of videos, my friend.” 

Quinn barked out a laugh, and Jack felt his cheeks flame at being razzed by her. He didn't know she had it in her.

After a long dinner filled with grilled steak and chicken and an enormous amount of laughter, Quinn felt even more sure of Sarah. He melted a little each time she caught on to his family's humor, and it seemed everyone loved her. At one point, his grandpa had even elbowed him in the ribs with a conspiratorial quirk of his eyebrows when they were at the food table together.

Later on, he found himself playing games with Sarah and some of his cousins' kids. The kids had begged her to join them, and she went happily. Unwilling to leave her side now that she was here, he joined in, too.  

“Can you show me all the fish?” Nova asked. 

“Of course,” Sarah said, “The next time you come to Vancouver, I’ll give you a tour. I can probably even get you backstage to meet Walter.”

“You’ve never offered to take me backstage,” Quinn said, his tone teasingly hurt. 

“I didn’t know you were interested,” she teased, “Nova obviously wants to see the fish.”

“Yeah, Q,” Nova said, sticking her tongue out at him, “I care about the fish.” 

Quinn laughed but wondered why Sarah felt like he wasn’t interested in what she did. Was he giving off the wrong impression?

“Do you think Walter will like me?” Nova asked. 

“I don’t know. He can be pretty picky about people. When you meet him, he’ll touch your hand with his tentacles,” she slowly wrapped her fingers around Nova’s arm to demonstrate. “Octopus use their suckers to suss out who’s good and bad.” 

Mia looked fascinated but horrified, “what?” 

“Yeah, they use them to taste and feel, and they can usually tell if they don’t like someone just by touching their skin.” 

“Did Walter like you right away?” Quinn asked. He’d never thought of it before. He had to like Sarah. She worked with him so much, they had to get along. 

“He was a little shy, but I kept coming back to do research, and eventually, he started to warm up to me.” 

“Can we see fish here?” Mia asked. 

Sarah glanced at Quinn, “we’re going to the beach, right?” 

He nodded, “on Friday, I think.” 

“I don’t know that we’d be able to see much in terms of snorkeling. It's mostly boring stuff out here - lobsters and fish for eating. It’s too cold for most of the fun stuff.” Mia looked instantly crestfallen, and Sarah continued, “but there’s always interesting stuff in tide pools. I’ll see if I can find us some to explore.” 

Mia beamed for the first time since they’d arrived. Since she’d turned 12, she’d been a bit moody and sulky in that teen way, wanting to hang out with her friends rather than spend the week with her family. Sarah taking her interests seriously obviously meant a lot to her.

“Quinn, there's no lock on this door,” Sarah said that evening as she closed it behind her before crawling into bed.

“So?”

“So anyone — your mom, your grandpa, one of your cousins — could just walk in.”

“They won't without knocking.”

As if on cue, the door flew open. “Is Mason in here?” It was one of Quinn's aunts. Or a friend who was basically an aunt? It was hard to keep track of who was actually related. 

“Nope,” Sarah said. 

“Oh, I’m sorry you two,” she said. “I hope I didn't interrupt anything.” 

Quinn gave her a tight smile, and she got the hint, closing the door softly behind her. 

Sarah arched an eyebrow in Quinn's direction as if to say, see? What did I tell you? 

“What does it matter if there’s no lock,” he asked, rolling on top of her, “we have to be quiet anyway.”

“We can’t have sex in here, Quinn,” she said. 

“Why not?” 

“As much as I want you to fuck me into tomorrow —” 

Burying his face in her neck, he groaned loudly as if the very prospect was painful to him.

“We can’t. Not when someone might walk in. What if one of the kids came in? We’d scar them for life.” 

He lifted his head and pouted, giving her his best begging eyes. “This is why I wanted to go upstairs before,” he said, trying to keep the whine out of his voice. 

“How was I supposed to know a bunch of kids would be sleeping in the family room across the hall?” she hissed, “or that there’s no lock on your door.” 

He knew she was right, but god, he couldn’t believe they were finally together and they couldn’t even have sex. 

“I think we could…” her voice trailed off at the same time her hand slipped between them to cup him over his pajama pants. 

“Don’t tease,” he said, jaw clenched. 

“I’m not teasing,” she said coyly. 

“Touching my dick when you won’t have sex feels like you’re being a pretty big fuckin’ tease to me.” 

“Just because we can’t have sex doesn’t mean I can’t get you off.” Her voice was a seductive whisper in his ear. 

He let out a kind of groaned whimper, tucking his face into her neck again. Fuck this room and it’s stupid fucking door without a stupid fucking lock. 

Her other hand guided his mouth back to hers. He was immediately swept up. He wanted to kiss every inch of her. 

Shivers coursed through her as Quinn’s lips trailed up to her ear. 

“I can’t stop thinking about the way you taste,” he whispered,  banking on the idea that she might loosen up a little if he got his mouth on her. Emphasizing his point, he lowered his lips to her neck, kissing and licking. 

As heat engulfed her, his name came out in a desperate whine. “That’s not fair.” 

When they were apart, it was fairly easy to pretend her own fingers were his, or her vibrator was his cock — they weren’t really the same, but her imagination could make up the difference — but nothing could simulate the feel of his mouth on her. She’d told him this just the week before when they were having phone sex while her roommates were both gone for the evening.

“Who said anything about playing fair?” Quinn asked, quirking his eyebrows. 

Her eyes darted to the door, listening as footsteps grew louder, then faded in the other direction. When she looked back at him, he was sliding down her body, his hands slipping up her thighs under her sleep shirt. 

“Quinn,” she admonished. 

“I can stay under the covers,” he said, winking as he lifted the blanket over his head. 

God, she wanted it so bad. 

“What if Nova came in?” she asked, trying to reason.

“Nova’s staying in a different house,” he reminded. They’d left at 10, her dad, Quinn’s cousin Andrew, carrying the little girl who’d fallen asleep right at the card table. 

Sarah made a frustrated noise and lifted the covers to look at him, “Quinn you know what I mean. Stop playing dirty.” 

A wicked grin took over his face, “this,” he traced a finger over her underwear that she knew were already damp, “would suggest you like when I play dirty.” 

She threw an arm over her eyes, “if someone walks in, you get to be the one giving an explanation, then.”

“I think my mouth is going to be otherwise occupied.” 

A keening, needy noise left her lips.

When he hooked his fingers in the waistband of her underwear, he paused, waiting for permission. As much as he wanted to do this, he wasn’t going to force her into anything. If she wanted to wait, he would. Begrudgingly, but he would. 

Sarah took a deep breath, her mind whirring and warring. Eventually, the side of her that wanted to make a good impression on his family won out. “I really, really want to, Q,” she said, “but —”

The resigned tone of her voice told him exactly how this was going to end. Sighing, he rested his forehead on her stomach. 

“I just… your whole family is in the house. It feels too…” 

If he thought with his brain and not his dick, he understood what she was getting at. It would be extremely awkward if anyone walked in on them. He wouldn’t put Sarah through that. 

“Yeah,” he said, flopping into the bed next to her. 

“But like I said, just because we can’t have sex doesn’t mean I can’t get you off,” she said, running a hand slowly up his thigh. 

Quinn wasn’t entirely sure how getting a handjob from her was all that different than just having sex. The bed would probably squeak less, he supposed, but it would still be awkward if someone walked in. They’d go for a drive the next night, he decided, if they didn’t get the chance to be alone before then. 

Her other hand slipped into his hair, nudging his mouth to hers. 

Even though it wasn’t exactly what he wanted, feeling her fall apart around his fingers while she stroked him and panted into his mouth was still heavenly. 

Day 2 (The Black Bikini):

The next morning, Quinn was talking with Luke when Sarah came out of the house, holding a jug of orange juice as she talked and laughed with his aunt. 

“I think it’s a…” he trailed off, the thought he’d been explaining evaporating completely the moment he saw her bikini. 

It made her look unbelievable - curvy and supple. The black cut beautiful shapes against her skin, and a shiny silver U linked the two halves together between her breasts. The high waistband of the bottoms peeking over the top of her undone denim shorts finished driving him out of his fucking mind.  She even had her hair in a braided ponytail, just like he liked. God, he wanted to put his mouth all over her.

Luke turned to follow his gaze and said, "Whoa."

"Yeah," he breathed before realizing and smacking his brother upside the head. "That's my girlfriend, dick." It felt so good at that moment to call her his. 

Luke held up his hands in surrender, "I'm not even interested in her, man. But if Ky wore a suit like that…" he trailed off, knowing better than to voice whatever he was thinking. 

She walked up the steps to the sundeck then, and he felt breathless with wanting. The metal U winked at him with every step she took. Somehow, she looked even better up close. 

Luke got up, mumbling something about needing to find someone. Sarah didn't catch who. 

She stopped next to Quinn's sun lounger and looked down, shielding her eyes from the bright morning sun. “Do I not get a good morning kiss?” 

He'd left to run around the lake with Jack, Luke, and Brendan before she'd gotten up that morning. She so rarely got to sleep in, he didn't wake her, despite the possibility of getting a few minutes alone before he had to leave.

He shook his head, “can't stand.” 

“What? Why? Did you hurt yourself?” 

He shook his head and glanced down, hoping she'd catch on. 

She followed his gaze, her mouth falling into an O as her cheeks went pink, which made it so much worse. God, why did she have to be so cute, too? 

She sat on the edge of his lounger, and he reached for her, gathering her against him, her back to his front. He wanted to hold her and also needed to cover exactly how excited this swimsuit made him.

She’d expected to lean back and feel his semi against her. Instead, he was hard and hot, fully turned on in a way he didn’t often get just from looking at her. Glancing over her shoulder, one of her eyebrows quirked.

“You come out here in this bikini when I haven't had you properly in nineteen days and expect me to just be normal about it?”

“Nineteen days?” she repeated. She knew it had been over two weeks, but she wasn't keeping a tally.

“I'm serious, Sarah,” he said, voice pained. “Do you have any idea how hot you look? How much you're driving me crazy?”

“I think I might,” she said, tracing a finger over his thigh, following the hem of his running briefs, exposed where his exercise shorts rucked up. 

He was acutely aware of her touch, of everyone around them, of her body heat seeping through his shirt and of just how much of her skin was exposed. His muscles twitched. 

“You're a tease, you know that?” 

“I'm a tease? You're the one out here all sweaty in these little shorts,” she countered as the tip of her finger traced under the elastic, “Your thighs out for everyone to see.”

That knocked him a little breathless. He knew she found him attractive. She often told him how handsome he was, but this kind of lusty wanting felt new. He sputtered.

“We could always go inside and lock ourselves in the bathroom,” she offered, her voice light and conversational, as her not-so-innocent touch trailed to his inner thigh. 

He made a noise in his throat as his body went to war with his brain. “You wouldn’t have sex in bed last night, but you’re fine with the bathroom today?” he asked, more confused than incredulous. 

“The bathroom has a lock. I guess it might be a little weird if someone saw us come out, though.” 

Quinn was struck with a vision of one of his cousins knocking on the door and how embarrassing it would be to have to walk out together, caught red-handed. Surely, his family knew how much he missed her, but there was only so far that understanding could go.

“Yeah.” Taking a deep breath, he mentally prepared himself for another day of wanting. If they couldn’t steal some time alone that day, he’d take a car and make a place for them to be alone. 

“I should go shower before breakfast,” he said, pressing a few quick kisses to her neck before darting into the house, hoping no one was paying too much attention.

All day, Quinn felt possessive of her in a way he usually didn’t.

More than once, he’d pulled her into his lap as she walked by. It wasn’t that he thought his cousins were going to do anything. He knew they wouldn’t, and he knew Sarah would never, but he had this basic, neanderthal-ish need to let everyone know that she’d chosen him. 

Every time he thought he was cool and didn’t need to remind everyone of their relationship, he’d catch someone checking her out, and it would rear up again, demanding to get his hands on her. She lets me touch her like this, the caveman inside him roared each time he did it. She likes me enough to let me do this.

Each time it happened, and Sarah suddenly ended up in Quinn’s lap, she laughed, chocking it up to finally being together after being apart for so long. To be fair, she didn’t want to go very long without touching him, either. 

“Let the girl breathe, Quinn,” his dad teased when it happened for the sixth time, “Jesus.” 

“I think it’s sweet,” his sister admonished. “Don’t you remember being that in love? I remember when Ellen had you that smitten.” 

“I do remember that, but I wasn’t ever as clingy as this guy, was I?” he asked, pointing at Quinn, who was busying himself threading his fingers through Sarah’s belt loops. 

“Oh, you were. You don’t remember mom telling you she’d never marry you if you didn’t give her some space to think?” 

Jim laughed, his face splitting into a broad grin, even as heat flooded into his cheeks. “I’d forgotten about that. That was some good advice. Ellen told me later she was thinking about breaking up with me because I was getting too clingy.”

He glanced at Sarah, only for her to give him a weak smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. 

Times like this, it always hurt to remember her mom wasn’t around to give sage advice and tease her about her new beau. She often wondered, even after her siblings and uncle had met him, how her parents would react to Quinn and to their relationship. The fact that she would never really know strangled her insides. 

Reaching over, Jim squeezed her hand, a sad, knowing look on his face. He knew what a smile like that meant. “It was pretty terrible when mom couldn’t be there for Luke’s birth,” he said. “I know it’s not the same, but we’ve been there too.”

She gave him that same, sad smile, “thanks.” 

Jim’s sister glanced between them, then seemed to remember. “Oh, sweetie,” she stood up and came to Sarah, giving her a hug. 

Even though it was awkward with her sitting down and Quinn still holding her waist, the intended comfort still came through. “Thank you,” she said, wiping a few rogue tears from her eyes. 

Quinn wound his arms around her waist to pull her flush against him so he could be the one she could lean on. He hooked his chin over her shoulder and brushed a kiss to her jaw. 

“I know when our mom died, I just wanted someone to give me a hug all the time. My husband started calling me a koala,” she said, laughing lightly. “Anyway,” she waved a hand in front of her face, “I just mean to say that if you need a hug, I’m always here.” 

It was incredibly kind. Though Sarah knew she would go to Quinn or Ellen or even Jim first, just because she knew them more, it was still wonderfully thoughtful. 

“I can’t imagine your parent’s wouldn’t be anything but thrilled to see how in love you two are,” she said. 

In a way, it was kind of a throw-away thing to say. She’d never met Sarah’s parents, but, Sarah supposed, she was a parent herself and knew something of raising children. 

“I know we sure are,” Jim said, squeezing her knee. 

“Thanks. I just really miss her, you know?” More emotion than she’d been expecting choked her voice. She leaned into Quinn, glad for his solid embrace.

Jim nodded, “of course.”

“But more than that, I miss the potential. Like, I don't get to know what she or my dad thinks of Quinn or how they feel about my degree.”

“Well, I think I can say that they’d be incredibly proud of you for your degree,” Jim said, “I'm proud of you, and you're not even my daughter.”

Quinn hoped that one day she might be something close.  

“And you know, Quinn won't get to know them,” Sarah continued, the thoughts bubbling up now that the cap had been blown off. “He won’t get to hear my mom laugh or go on a wild trip to Costco with us.”

“Costco?” Quinn repeated. 

“My dad loved Costco,” she said, her voice taking on a dreamy, nostalgic tone. “It was a whole family affair. Every second Saturday. You better keep the evening free, cause we all had to go together. Even after my brother got married, he and Lucy still came with us.”

“Why Costco?”

“Part of it’s because both of my parents grew up in such big families. My dad’s one of 6 and mom’s one of 9. But I think he just liked that you can get such a huge variety of stuff there. He always liked to find the new things, and he felt very passionately about Costco hot dogs.”

Quinn snorted. 

“Almost every gift he ever gave came from Costco.” 

“Like what?” Quinn asked, trying to keep her talking. He loved seeing these snapshots of her family. If he wouldn’t get the chance to meet them, at least he could understand a little more through her memories. 

“One time,” she adjusted to sit sideways in his lap so she could see his face, “he bought me an enormous bag of hot Cheetos for my birthday.” 

He snorted. 

“Don’t make fun. It was a very practical gift. He even printed this big label and stuck it on it that said,” she had to pause to control her giggles, “Sar-Bear’s mouth-killer birthday chips. Touch or die.” 

A laugh sputtered out of his mouth. 

“He got me my first golf clubs at Costco. And,” she emphasized the point by poking him in the shoulder, “he once built a rocket made entirely of stuff he bought at Costco.” 

“A rocket?” Jim repeated, surprised.

“Yeah, he designed rockets for a living and wanted to do it to prove that he could. He uploaded this ridiculous video to Facebook and tagged Costco in it. They gave him a free membership for a year. He said it was the fifth best day of his life.”

“Fifth?” Jim’s sister asked. 

“After his wedding and the birth of his kids.” 

“Can we see the video?” Quinn asked. 

She had family photos on a pinboard above her desk, and he’d seen a ton more when they visited her siblings. He knew she had her dads smile and her mothers eyes. But it was different seeing someone in motion. 

Digging her phone out of her pocket, Sarah said, “I’m not sure his profile is still active… I think he might have tagged me in it.” 

Glancing at his dad, Quinn found the older man looking at him with this proud, approving look on his face. It was a rare thing to get from Jim, and he was most often on the receiving end of it at the ice rink. It was nice to get it away from hockey. 

“Here,” she said, handing Quinn her phone. The screen was cracked in the corner.

His dad and aunt moved to huddle around his chair, and he played the video. 

Her dad, Michael, who was tall and reedy and wore wire rimmed glasses, introduced himself and went through an overenthusiastic explanation of where every part of the rocket came from in the store, and why he chose it, making sure to highlight what was on a special deal that month. He then assembled it with a younger Sarah’s help. Her hair was shorter, cut into a bob that hit around the middle of her neck, and she had braces. 

Quinn paused the video, “how old are you here?”

She took the phone back from him so she could look at the date. “I’d just turned twenty-one.” 

“You still had braces at 21?” 

“I had them twice,” she explained with a self-deprecating eye roll. “I didn’t wear my retainer the first time, so I had to get them again when I went to college.” 

“I think you look cute,” he said. 

“Yeah, because nothing says, ‘hey, I’m old enough to drink’ like having braces.”

They all laughed, and his dad reached forward to start the video again. 

The rocket was finished and shot off. It flew much higher than Quinn expected. “Woah.”

“And that,” her dad said, hands on his hips as he turned back to the camera, “is how you launch into a new month of Costco savings.”

“Oh my god,” Sarah exclaimed off camera. “You’re such a dad!” 

“Good thing I am one, then,” he said, pointing at her with finger guns and a wink. 

Ellen came over at their laughter, “what’s going on here?” 

“We were just watching a video of Sarah’s dad.” 

“Oh,” she tucked herself between her husband and sister-in-law, “I’d like to see that.” 

The fact that they all were interested in getting to know her parents in this way eased a bit of the grief from its strangling hold around Sarah’s heart. As Quinn restarted the video, his free hand moved to her leg and squeezed her knee. 

She glanced down at him, a thankful smile on her face. 

After an afternoon on the docks and another raucous dinner on the lawn, Quinn grabbed a set of keys from one of the hooks in the kitchen. 

“We're going for a drive,” he announced, pulling Sarah toward the front door with their clasped hands. 

His parents and aunts and uncles shared some knowing glances from their place around the dining table, and a smile he knew wasn't going to end well took over his mom's face. 

“Have fun!” she called out. “Use protection!”

“Lay down a towel!” someone else chimed in. 

“Sarah, don't be afraid to put him in his place!”

He felt his ears get hot. It didn't matter how casual he tried to be, they knew exactly what they were up to. 

Sarah pulled him off his determined course to go into the garage. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Getting a towel. That's a smart idea. I don't want to ruin whoever’s car this is.”

He laughed, “it's my parents' car.”

“All the more reason then,” she said, tucking a few towels from the clean bin under her arm and taking his hand. 

The drive took thirty minutes, and they ended up at a lovers lane of sorts - nothing more than a dirt road at the edge of a tree lined pond. They were the only ones there. Sarah tried not to think about how he knew about it. 

“I know this is really fucking cheesy, but can we get in the back seat?” he asked. 

She nodded, glad they didn't go through the whole rigmarole of squirreling over the center console. Car sex was uncomfortable enough. No point in making it more so. 

They both went to their perspective back doors, and she didn’t waist any time, crawling into his lap and kissing him. 

“Sarah,” Quinn moaned when she moved on to his neck. He was so torqued up, his desire ratcheted so high he didn't think he'd ever had bluer balls in his life. He hadn't touched her in two and a half weeks, then they had finally shared a bed, but he'd only been able to get her off with his hands and vice versa because of the bedroom lock situation. Then she'd walked out that morning in that goddamn fucking bikini and he about lost his goddamn fucking mind. THEN it took ten hours before they were able to get away on their own. 

He'd been riding the edge so long that she didn't even need to get him worked up. He felt crazy with wanting. 

“Sarah, please,” his hands, clumsy, pulled at her shirt. She let him strip it off. He reached for her shorts, and she pushed him away. He whined in earnest, in too deep to be embarrassed. 

“I want to blow you first,” she said, voice husky. 

His eyes practically rolled to the back of his head. “Fuck, Sarah. Really?”

“Really.” She gave him a coy smile and maneuvered so she was on her knees in front of him. 

“You can get me off while you recover,” she said. 

“Yeah.”

He would have agreed with practically anything at that moment. She needed a new car? Done. Tuition? She wanted to skinny dip in this pond? She wanted to marry him? Done, done, and done. He'd do it all. 

She made quick work of his pants, shoving them down until he could kick them off onto the floor. 

And then her blissful mouth was on him. She felt so good - warm and wet, and the way her tongue moved made his breathing hitch. Part of him felt 12, ready to shoot off at any moment; the other part of him wanted to savor this. 

Her hand slid up his thigh. He was so certain she was about to wrap her fingers around the base of his shaft that when she bypassed and cradled his balls instead, his hips bucked of their own volition. 

He hit the back of her throat, and she pulled off coughing through the gagging sensation.

Shit. 

Fuck. 

No, no, no, no, no. 

“I'm sorry,” he said. His voice was practically begging. “I'm sorry.”

Seeing the tears she was blinking out of her eyes as she sat up slammed him back into reality. 

He cupped her cheek, “I'm sorry, Sarah. I didn't expect that, and I just…I lost control. Are you okay?” 

She blinked a few more times to get rid of the tears and swallowed. “Yeah, I’m okay.” 

Breathing a sigh of relief, he leaned against the car door. Having sex in a backseat was really never a good idea. They were too confined to get into any of their favorite positions. 

Having sex in the backseat when he was this needy was a terrible idea — compounding all the issues with his impatience. That said, if it was the only way they would be together, he’d have sex in this goddamn car every night. 

His eyes shot open at the feel of her lips wrapping around him again. He wouldn’t lie. The way she was sucking him off, on her knees, ass in the air, was one of the most attractive things he’d ever seen her do. 

“Can I take a picture?”

She pulled back, looking up at him, “what?” 

“Can I take a picture?” he repeated, fishing for his jeans and pulling the phone out of his pocket. “You look so fucking hot like this. I just want to remember.”

“As long as it’s not shared anywhere, yeah,” she said, leaning down to take him again.

Part of him hadn’t really expected her to say yes. His mouth had run away with his thoughts before he could vet them. Fumbling, he finally got his phone to unlock and adjusted the camera settings for the dark.

The app only clicked once before she pulled off. He whined. 

“Hold on,” she said, undoing the button on her shorts and shoving them around her knees. “This'll make a better picture.” If she was going to allow it, might as well go all out. 

As she took him in her mouth again, she perked her ass in the air, showing off. 

“Holy shit,” he breathed. It took him a second to remember his phone in his hand and take another picture. In the dim light, it just barely captured the shadow of the lace. 

“You're so fucking incredible,” he moaned. 

Feeling her smile around him was something he’d never get over. 

Using every technique she knew he liked, Sarah continued on until he was panting and moaning above her. 

Gripping the seats, Quinn willed his hips to stay still. “I‘m gonna come,” he warned. 

Hollowing her cheeks, she sucked a little harder, gratified when he let out the stuttered moan she’d been aiming for. She wanted to milk him dry. 

When he came with a shout, she did just that. 

Spent, Quinn collapsed against the door, breathing heavily. 

There was no rustling or opening doors, so she could spit. As his eyes fluttered open, he asked, “did you swallow?”

“There wasn’t anywhere else to put it.” 

“Damn,” he said, disappointment in his voice.

“What?”

“I didn’t see it.”

“It looks the same as when I swallow anything else,” she assured. 

“It does not,” he argued. “You never swallow.” 

She gave him a look that had him backtracking, “I mean, not that I mind that you don’t, but I just…would have liked to see it, thats all….” he trailed off.  

“I’m sorry,” she said, coming forward to settle in his lap again. “Next time, I’ll wait until you open your eyes to swallow.” 

“Next time?” he asked, quirking his eyebrows. 

“Yes, next time. You know, as well as I do, that that won’t be the last blowjob I give you.” 

“For all I know, it could be,” he said, though his voice was teasing. 

“As long as you reciprocate, it won’t.” 

“I better start reciprocating, then,” he said with a wink, sneaking his hands into the band of her underwear to push it down. He had been dreaming about her taste for weeks, and cleaning her release from his fingers the night before only made the craving worse. 

“I don’t know if in the car…” she wanted his mouth almost as much as she wanted his cock buried deep inside her but she worried it wouldn’t work in the car, at least not the way she liked. She preferred to be laid out on her back so she could totally relax and he could have full access.

Pouting, Quinn stuck his bottom lip out and met her eyes in an attempt to get her on his side. “I don’t want to use my hands again.” It came out a bit of a whine. 

“I love your hands,” she said, covering his with her own, pulling them up her body and to the clasp of her bra. He made quick work of the hooks and pulled it off, tossing it to the floor with his jeans. 

“Plus, once you’re hard again,” she reached down and cupped his sensitive dick, “I want this inside me.”

“Yeah?” 

“Fuck yes. I’ve been thinking about you filling me up for weeks.” 

Moaning, he twitched against her palm. Not bothering to remove them, his hand slipped to the apex of her thighs, rubbing over her underwear. 

Head thrown back, she moaned as her hips ground into his hand. 

It didn’t take long for her juices to soak through the flimsy lace. The fact that he was doing this to her made his whole body feel like it was on fire. 

“Quinn,” she breathed, “I want your fingers inside me.”

“Later,” he said, too intoxicated with the idea of her coming with this lace barrier between them. “I want to feel you come like this.” 

A whine escaped her, but she continued dutifully rocking against him.

He stroked her pearl, then moved down, teasing her entrance with the tips of his fingers. 

She huffed out a frustrated breath. “If you’re not going to put them inside me, stop teasing.” 

“But teasing you is so much fun,” he said, pushing in, just slightly. 

Both hands gripped his shoulders, and she moved her hips down, trying to force his digits inside her. The lace prevented him from dipping to the depth she wanted him, and she whined his name. 

“Naughty,” he admonished, slipping his fingers back to her sensitive bundle, stroking it so slowly that it was more torture than treat.

Her beautiful mouth was open and panting. “Quinn, please.” 

He usually envisioned that word coming from his lips, not the other way around.

Her hips ground down hard against his hand. He pushed back with equal force, and she winced, shrinking from his touch.

“Sorry,” he said, lightening his pressure. He’d been so caught in the moment, he forgot how sensitive she was, “sorry.”

Too intent on her orgasm, Sarah shook her head. Her hand shot to his wrist of it’s own accord,  guiding him back to her. Finding his fingers again, she started grinding herself against them. The sensation of the lace between her clit and his touch was incredible. The fabric was so soaked now that the texture of it was no longer painful. It only added another layer of stimulation.  

Quinn let her control the pace, content to watch bliss take over her body. Her head tipped back, and he leaned forward to lick one of her nipples into his mouth, hoping to give her that final push. 

She moaned his name as one of her hands came up to cradle the back of his head. He felt the other grasp onto his shoulder.

He knew she was almost there from the pace of her breathing, the racing of her heart and the way her hips stuttered. He was still glad when she clarified anyway. “I’m so close.” 

Switching to using his middle two fingers, he used the index to work under the lace. At the first sign of her orgasm, he swept the fabric aside and plunged his middle and ring fingers inside her. 

Sarah screamed. 

Feeling his fingers finally penetrate her as her orgasm began to pulse catapulted her pleasure into another dimension. 

The grip she had on his shoulder tightened, and she chanted, “Quinn…Quinn…Oh my god, Quinn…Fuck!” The last word came out a shout as he brought his thumb to her clit, drawing tight circles around the sensitive bundle still swathed in lace. Her high, which had been easing off, exploded to life again. 

He’d never heard her be so loud before. At least they were several miles from the nearest town and nowhere near his family.

Easing off when a soft whine escaped her throat, Quinn brought his hand to his mouth, eager to taste her release. 

Watching him clean his fingers through hooded eyes, she said, “I want you inside me.” 

“There’s a condom in my jeans,” he said, reaching for the material.

Pulling his hand back, she placed it over her breast. “Don’t care. Need to feel you.” 

“You’re sure?” He knew having unprotected sex without a bathroom close would mean she would be dealing with the aftermath the whole way home on top of having soaked underwear. 

Nodding, she hurriedly pulled her underwear out of the way. Taking it off would take too much time — time she wasn’t willing to give up, not when she was so close to finally feeling him again. 

The way she moaned when she sunk onto him was going to haunt his dreams for months.

Relishing the feeling of having his hard cock inside her again, Sarah paused. Head tipped back, she panted.

She moaned as he adjusted, sending him further inside her. 

“You feel unbelievable,” he said full of breathless wonder. 

“Uh hu,” she agreed, starting to move, easing up and down. 

Feeling her this way reminded him of that day in April she’d showed up at his house to congratulate him on making the playoffs. Remembering the way they’d made love that day, he spread his hands wide, ready to support her. 

Instead of leaning back, she came forward to kiss him. “Want you on top,” she said against his mouth. 

“Okay.”

As much as it pained her to, she pushed off of him so they could rearrange. He guided her onto her back, pulling the towel back in place as he did. She shimmied out of her panties.

Once his hips settled against hers as he slipped back inside her, she wrapped her legs tightly around him. It forced him into a more sensual rocking rather than fucking her hard and fast. 

Tucking his face into her neck, kissing and licking all the skin he could find, Quinn marveled at how good it felt, even squashed into the back seat of a car, she still felt amazing. 

Her hands slid up his back and buried themselves in his hair. Sarah tipped her hips so Quinn was brushing her clit each time he moved. 

She gasped his name. 

He grunted, too taken with her to form a more coherent response. 

“You feel so good.”

The praise shot a mixture of pleasure and panic up his spine and into his mouth, “can’t do that.”

“Do what?” 

“Can’t say things like that.”

“Like what? That you make me feel good?”

He whined, nodding his head. 

“Why not?”

“Gonna make me come.”

Sliding her hands to his ears, she pulled his face from her neck, so he was looking down at her. “Guess you better shut me up, then.”

Eyes widening in surprise, Quinn felt his breath shutter in his lungs. It didn’t take long for him to take the bait, crashing their lips together in a kiss that mimicked the way their bodies moved in and around each other.

His continuous, sensual rocking made Sarah’s whole body quake. Pleasure sparked in her core and rippled outward. God, everything about him felt incredible. His tongue, the hot length of his cock, the way his hips rocked into hers. She moaned into his mouth and he moaned back as if in agreement. 

“Quinn,” she panted. “Oh,” her moan cut off as he thrust a little harder. 

Unable to hold it any longer, she tipped her head back, crying out as her orgasm exploded into her veins.  

Fastening his mouth on any skin he could find, he focused on the taste of her sweat and chased her racing pulse, working her through her high. As it edged off, Quinn slowed his thrusts to match the pulse of her core around him. 

Collapsing against the seat, Sarah breathed, “holy shit,” as a sense of heady euphoria crashed over her. 

Beaming down at her, he settled his hips against hers. Torsos pressing together with every breath, Quinn shook his head, “you’re fucking amazing, you know that? First the blow job,” his cock twitched inside her just remembering it. “Now this?”

She flushed. 

“What?” he asked, laughing. 

“I needed to get you off, so you'd last for this. Don't get me wrong, I love giving you pleasure, but I'll admit, the blow job was mostly for me.”

“Minx,” he teased, but there was no heat in it. He understood her reasoning, and it was smart, really. Plus it’s not like he’d minded.

She laughed, and he bit his lip as her core flexed.

Her legs loosened around him, and she reached up to brush his hair from his face. 

“What do you want?” 

He gulped. “Wanna come inside.”

“Of course,” she said as if that wasn’t even a question. “How do you want it?” 

His brain ran away with his mouth, “wanna fuck you.” 

She nodded. 

It was the only permission he needed. Bracing himself above her, he immediately set a pace that made both them and the car shake. 

“Want to feel it,” she said, pushing her hips up to meet his every thrust. 

Had anyone else but Sarah heard the pathetic little whine that came out of his mouth, he would have been mortified.

“Come for me, Quinn.” 

Each thrust ended with her name on his tongue. When his orgasm finally shattered, he flooded her with a shout. Burring himself to the hilt again and again, he kept going until his limbs gave out, and he collapsed on top of her. 

Day 3 (The 4th of July):

The morning of the 4th was spent puttering around the bay in a two-person kayak before stopping on a far shore to eat the picnic she’d packed for brunch. 

Then they had to get back to the house so Sarah could make her dads favorite chocolate tart. Jim had suggested and requested she make it, so she and Quinn had stopped at the store on their way back from their lovers’ lane rendezvous the night before. She’d never been so thankful she’d remembered a hairbrush. 

In the middle of the afternoon, as the crust was baking, they found themselves in the house alone. 

Glancing out the window, Sarah saw the family gathered at the bay shore behind the neighboring house and locked what looked like an intense volleyball tournament. 

“Looks like the house is empty,” she said casually. 

Quinn perked up. 

She picked up the timer, “we’ve got a bit of time before I need to pull this out of the oven if you want to —” She broke off, laughing as Quinn sprinted around the island, took her by the waist and pulled her against him. 

“Yes,” he said breathlessly, “I want to.” 

She laughed again and pulled him down the hall to his room. Once there, she pulled the blinds closed before turning back to him. He was shutting the door, looking at her like he was ready to pounce. 

Glancing at the timer, she said, “we’ve got thirty minutes,” before stripping her tank top off, revealing her blue bikini top. 

He was going to spend every one of them with his face between her legs. God, he missed the way she tasted, the noises she made when he went down on her. There was nothing like it. 

“Thirty minutes,” he repeated, “just enough time to get you off a few times.” 

He tackled her into the bed, immediately wrestling with her shorts and the bikini bottoms she had on underneath them. 

“And you,” she said, reaching for his swim trunks, “I want to feel you, too.” Before she could get a good grip to pull his board shorts down, he was kissing along her stomach, intention clear. 

“Quinn,” she breathed, “you don’t have to —” 

“Want to,” he mumbled into her skin as he spread her thighs to lay between them. 

A whimper escaped her chest.

“God, I’ve missed this,” he moaned when he finally got his eyes on her. She was already glistening for him. 

“Really?” she knew he didn’t mind giving head, but to miss it? She missed getting him off, sure, but she’d be lying if she said she missed giving him a blowjob more than anything else. 

“Fuck yes.” 

She let out a small moaned whine as her hips tipped toward his mouth.

He didn't need any more invitation than that. Stuffing his face into her center, he moaned, feeling his eyes roll back. She smelled and tasted like heaven.

When he got over the initial jolt of pleasure at finally having his mouth on her again, he looked up to find she'd pulled her bikini top to the side and was toying with her nipple. The other hand was over her mouth, muffling the noises he loved so much. 

“Want to hear you.” 

Was that his voice? He sounded drunk. In a way, he supposed he was. 

“I don’t want to…” she broke off, panting. “Don’t want to draw attention,” she managed. “What if someone comes in the house?” 

Not bothering to respond, he wrapped his lips around her clit and sucked. 

Her hips tipped into him, and she moaned. 

“That’s it,” he groaned into her, “just like that.”

“Oh my god,” she breathed as the hand that was over her mouth fumbled into his hair. The other stayed at her chest, pushing her bikini off of her other breast so she could tweak and twirl that nipple, too.

Fuck, she was so sexy.

Two orgasms later, Quinn showed no signs of stopping, despite rutting his hips into the mattress every time her body and breath shook with pleasure.

“I want you.”

He didn’t make any moves to break away from her center. He was practically drinking her release, but his thirst wasn’t yet quenched.

“Quinn, I want you inside me.”

When he didn’t follow her request, she wrapped her fingers into his hair and tugged. 

He grunted and let out a pathetic little whine, but let her pull him up to her. 

Kneeling, he shoved his shorts down before hooking her right leg over his arm. 

“Quinn,” she moaned when he hovered over her. It stretched her farther than she could on her own, but it wasn’t unpleasant. 

“You want it?” he asked, nestling just the tip against her entrance. 

“Yes,” she moaned, head thrown back. 

“You’re sure?” 

“Yes, Quinn. I need your cock inside me.” 

There was only so far a man's resistance could take him, and Quinn had just run out of rope. Leaning down, he caught her mouth to capture her moans as his hips drove forward, sheathing himself in one hard thrust. 

Their shouts crashed together, their lips muffling the sound. 

After only a few harsh thrusts, she was pulling away, head tipped back against the pillows as she panted.

Guiding her hand between their bodies, he instructed, “touch yourself for me.”

He’d usually build her up slowly, but there was no time for that kind of slow seduction. 

“Fuck,” she whispered, body on fire. 

He felt her walls spasm around him and knew she'd made contact with her swollen bundle of nerves. 

“Feels good?” he asked, voice strained to a whisper in her ear. 

“So good,” she babbled, “you feel so, so good.” 

He growled something deep in his throat. 

“Yes,” she panted, not knowing or caring what she was agreeing to. 

He chuckled. 

“I’m almost there,” she said. Pressing a fraction harder, she skated that delicate line of getting off faster without causing pain. 

“Come for me, Sarah,” he commanded. 

She gasped. He never talked like this at home. Something about the possibility of getting caught brought it out of him, she was sure.

Mouth next to her ear, he growled, “come all over my cock.”

She had no choice but to obey. His filthy mouth, combined with a few more punishing thrusts, had her careening into orgasmic bliss. 

He swallowed her moans and trusted her to catch his cry of pleasure when he came hard inside her. 

After riding out their highs, he flopped beside her, and her leg fell off the side of the bed.

“Holy shit,” she whispered. 

He huffed in response.

After a few moments of panting breaths, she asked, “could you go get a washcloth?”

“I don't think I can move,” he confessed.

She giggled, “that good, hu?” 

“Fuck,” he moaned. “It was unreal.” 

“It was, or I was?” she asked, quirking her brows teasingly.

“You always are,” he said earnestly as he rolled over to throw a heavy arm over her stomach as his mouth connected with her shoulder.

The timer beeped once.

“That's the one minute warning,” she said quietly, tucking her breasts back into her top. “I need a towel or something to wipe off so I can get dressed to pull the crust out.”

Fuck this room with its stupid fucking walk in closet that should have been a en suite bathroom. 

Quinn convinced himself up with a groan and found a clean t shirt she could use, “I’m sorry,” he said sheepishly, handing it to her. 

The timer went off just as she was finishing wiping up. She threw on her bathing suit and rushed into the kitchen. 

The back door opened as she was pulling the crust out of the oven. She kept her eyes down, knowing she must look ridiculous pulling a pie out of the oven in her bikini. She hadn't even looked in a mirror yet. Her hair was likely wild, and she was probably flushed and looked over kissed. She may as well have been wearing a sign that said freshly fucked. 

“God fucking dammit,” she recognized Jack's voice, “have Quinn text me when we can come back in the house,” he said, voice too loud and dripping with annoyance, before the door snapped shut. 

She giggled and, upon coming back to the room, found Quinn freshly showered. 

“How did you do that so fast?”

“Do what?”

“Shower. I was gone for like three minutes.”

He shrugged and whipped the towel from around his waist to drag over his hair. 

She didn't try to hide her stare, admiring his hip lines, which were more defined than they'd been at the start of the summer. 

“My eyes are up here, sweetheart.”

Heat flooded her cheeks, but she pulled her eyes to his. “Jack wants you to text him when it's safe to come inside.”

He laughed. “Does that mean we can go another few rounds before I tell him anything?” he asked, slinging an arm around her and bringing her close against him. 

“I’ve got to shower and finish the tart,” she said, patting his chest lightly. “Plus, I think we’ve pushed our luck enough for one day.”

Begrudgingly, he agreed and dressed as she went to take a shower. 

When Sarah wandered back to the kitchen, hair wet, but pulled back in a french braid, she found Quinn at the sink, watching his brothers play volleyball paired up with some of their cousins. 

“You should go join,” Sarah encouraged.

“But you’re not —”

“I can finish this on my own. It’s not a big deal. Go have fun.” 

“You're sure?” 

“Yeah. I actually wouldn't mind having some time to myself for a minute.” 

“You’ll let me know if you want me to come back in?” he confirmed. 

She nodded, and he pressed a lingering kiss to her mouth before heading outside. 

After Quinn went out to join in the tournament, absorbed onto the same team as his brothers, people cycled through the kitchen as they came in to use the bathroom or grab something to drink. Each one of them offered to help, and Sarah always responded with a bright smile and an, “I'm alright. Thank you, though.” 

It wasn't until Ellen came in that the answer changed. 

She was the first one who broached the barrier of the island, coming around to lay a hand on Sarah's upper back. “Are you okay in here, sweetheart?”

It was such a motherly thing to do that it made emotion swell in her chest.  

“Yeah,” Sarah said with a sigh, “I'm fine. Just a little overwhelmed.” 

“Ah,” she nodded knowingly, “it's a lot to take in.” 

“Yeah. I'm kind of glad to have some time to myself.” 

“Do you want me to leave?” 

“No, you can stay if you want.”

“How can I help?” 

Sarah set her to washing the raspberries while she watched the caramel over the stove. 

“Things are going okay, though?” 

“Yeah. It's a little less huge every day. I feel like I’m finally remembering people’s names.” 

“And they're okay with Quinn? I know he's really missed you when you're apart.” 

“Yeah, I've missed him a lot, too,” she said. “It's been kind of a rough go.” 

“Well, it seems like a good sign to me that you miss each other so much.” 

“Yeah. It's kind of weird. I feel like I miss him a lot physically, but I didn't realize how much I missed the little interactions until they were gone.” 

“What do you mean?” 

It felt a little strange to be talking about this with Quinn’s mom, but she was asking. “Like, I miss running into each other as we’re going through his apartment. Like, if I’m studying, he gives me a kiss as he passes by. That kind of thing.”

Ellen felt a knowing, happy smile spread over her face. Jimmy often did things like that to her, and knowing that Quinn had picked up on one of his dads sweetest habits made her heart swell with pride.

“He told us he invited you to move in when he gets back.” 

Smiling down at the caramel, which was starting to turn golden, Sarah nodded. 

“Are you going to?” 

“I think so. I mean, I will unless something changes.” 

“Quinn’ll be so relieved. I’m pretty relieved, too.”

Sarah glanced up at her. 

“He’s been all alone in Vancouver for so long,” Ellen explained, shaking the water off the berries, “I know he’s got hockey and his teammates, but I realize now how different it’s been for Jack and Luke to have each other. I’m just glad he has someone he can rely on.”

Intense pride and acceptance filled Sarah’s chest. She knew Ellen liked her, but for her to be relieved she was in Quinns life was something totally different. It dispelled some of her lingering anxiety. 

“It’s really, really nice for me to have someone to rely on, too.” Before she could stop them, words continued bubbling out of her mouth, “I’m a little worried about living there while he’s on the road, though.” 

“Yeah?” 

“I just…I’ve never lived on my own, and — I don’t know if Quinn’s told you about what happened after my mom died?”

“He mentioned you went through some hard things,” Ellen said, trying to be tactful. Quinn had told her about Sarah moving in with her sister and then her uncle because she was worried about her mental health. 

“I know it’ll only be for short stints, but I’ve never done that before.”

The older woman nodded in understanding. “I think I went through something similar when Jimmy started traveling with his coaching. I had the boys at home, and we were really busy, and at times, I just wanted to rip my hair out.”

“How did you get through it?” 

“I had friends, and I took time for myself when Jim got home. It’ll be a transition for sure, but I think you’ll settle into it just fine. And you know I’m always just a phone call away.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course,” she said, wrapping her arm around Sarah, who leaned her head on Ellen’s shoulder. “Sometimes, it’s nice to have some time away from each other, too. It cuts out the mundane.”

A laugh chuffed out of Sarah’s mouth, and she pulled the caramel off the stove to pour into the pie crust. 

“How’s your research going this summer?” Ellen asked. 

“Since I’m not in school, and the aquarium is so much busier in the summer, I do more work than research, so I’ve been doing a lot of education tours. I had to re-up my scuba certification this year, so I did that last week.” 

“Why?” 

“Sometimes we have to dive into the tanks,” she said. “It’s pretty rare, but they like all of the zoologists to have it.” 

Ellen nodded. 

“But my research is going well. It’s right on track. I’ve started writing my thesis, and as long as I can get it done, I should be able to graduate at the end of the year.”

“Oh, that’s so exciting.”

“It’s kind of daunting,” Sarah admitted. “I’ve been in school for so long, I don’t really know what I’ll do with myself when I’m done.”

“I remember feeling that way when I was in grad school. It’s just new. You’ll figure it out as it comes,” Ellen assured. “Do you have to defend your thesis?” 

“Yeah.” 

“I hope you’ll let us know when you do. We’d love to be there to support you.”

Sarah beamed. “I’d like that.” 

They finished the tart together right before Jims sisters came in to take over the kitchen. As Quinn’s families house was bigger and more recently renovated, almost all of the cooking took place there. It also didn’t hurt that it had the largest lawn for outdoor dinners to be set up. 

Sarah joined in the last game of volleyball, a battle of the sexes. The girls won, but that was mostly due to the fact that three of Quinn’s cousins played college volleyball and coached everyone else in what to do. It didn’t stop Sarah from gloating to Quinn when they embraced after the game was done. He took it all in stride, teasing her about her missed sets. 

After a cookout dinner of burgers, dogs, and all the fixings, dessert was set out, and Sarah’s tart, despite being sliced into tiny servings, was gone before everyone was done eating dinner. 

Once the sun set, they moved down to the beach to watch the fireworks, which were shot off across the bay. 

Sarah and Quinn shared a blanket. He invited her to sit between his legs so she could lean on his chest, but she opted to sit beside him. She’d always wanted to kiss under fireworks, and sitting side by side made that more of a possibility. 

Halfway through the show, she glanced over at him to find him watching her. 

Their mouths tipped together, and it was even more romantic than Sarah had imagined. Finally, the world outside matched how she felt kissing him. 

“He’s never done that before, you know,” Luke said, catching up with her as they meandered back to the house to light sparklers with the little ones before they had to get to bed. 

“What?” 

“Quinn. He’s never made out with someone in public like that.” 

“Really?” It’s not like they made a habit of kissing in front of people, but they’d kissed in front of both of their families after he won the Norris, and their first kiss hadn’t been very private at all. 

“Yeah. He’s usually more reserved.” 

“It’s probably just because we’re with family.”

Luke shook his head, “No. He’s brought other girls to the 4th before, and he never kissed any of them like that.”

Sarah felt her eyebrows raise. 

“It’s just nice to see him so comfortable with someone,” he said, knocking his shoulder into hers.  

A smile beamed over her face. “You an Kylee looked pretty cozy, too.” They’d started kissing even before the fireworks started, and from what Sarah saw, they never broke apart. Though they must have if he’d noticed her and Quinn. 

His face flushed as he gave her a chagrined smile. “Our first kiss was on the 4th of July. It’s kind of an anniversary,” he said, watching Kylee dance around with some of his cousins. 

“Yeah? Ellen made it seem like you guys didn’t start dating until you started your senior year.” 

“We didn’t. I was trying, and we kind of got somewhere over the 4th, but she didn’t think I was serious.”

“Why not?” 

Kylee came up to them then, hooking her arm around Luke’s waist. “Luke’s so shy at first, I couldn’t really tell if he was into me. And Jack talked to me all the time,” she explained. “He always brought Luke up, but never, like, facilitated a conversation between us.”

“Why didn’t he just let you figure it out?” Sarah asked, tearing her eyes away from where Quinn had Nova perched on his shoulders so she could waive her sparkler higher than everyone else. 

Luke rolled his eyes, “I think he was trying to wing-man, but it backfired constantly. We only kissed on the 4th because Jack was gone.”

Kylee giggled, “I felt like I had it figured out, and then in comes Jack chatting me up again.” 

Upon hearing his name, Jack looked over, “what about me?”

“We’re just talking about what an awful wingman you are,” Luke called back. 

“The worst!” someone else chimed in.

Jack’s cheeks, which were already pink from having one too many beers, flushed darker. 

 “Now that I know him better, I know he really was trying to talk Luke up, but I was just so confused,” Kylee explained with a laugh. “He’s so chatty, it comes off as flirting sometimes.”

“It wasn’t until he moved to New Jersey that she started taking me seriously,” Luke said, casting a fond glance at his girlfriend. 

“I was trying,” Jack called out across the lawn. 

“I know!” Kylee yelled back. 

Sarah wondered how her relationship with Quinn would have been different if Jack had behaved this way. She supposed they were already in love by the time she met Jack. Instead of the overly friendly, flirty Jack, she got the sullen, don’t take my brother Jack. At least he seemed to be getting over that particular fear. He didn’t treat her like a sibling like he did Kylee, but at least he wasn’t as standoffish as he had been and was beginning to joke with her. 

After the kids were finally in bed, some of the adults sat around the living room, planning the beach trip for the following day. Sarah was on the floor, leaning against the couch between Quinn’s splayed legs. His hands were resting comfortably on her shoulders. In an attempt to stop herself from kissing the inside of his leg, she leaned her head on his knee. 

“Mia mentioned wanting to go through the tide pools,” she said. “I looked it up, and it looks like the best beach for tide pools is Great Island Common. I don’t know how close we’re going to be to there, but it could be fun to go.”

“Its not too far from the beach we're going to.”

“Awesome. Low tide is at 5 pm, so it would be best to do tide pooling between 2 and 5 when the tide is receding.” 

Everyone glanced at each other quietly. 

“What?” 

“You looked all that up?” 

“Yeah. Mia said she wanted to go,” Sarah repeated. 

“I just,” Jenny began, “I’m surprised you looked up the best times to go tide pooling for a twelve year old.”

“It was just a few quick google searches. I’d bet the other kids would like it, too. All my nieces and nephews really love it. We might as well go at the best time if we can swing it.” 

When they fell into bed that night, Quinn pulled Sarah on top of him, just to feel her weight pressing him down. “I love you,” he said, mouth sleepily brushing her jaw. 

“I love you, too.”

They fell asleep mouth to mouth. 

Day 4 (The Beach):

“Look over here!” 

Quinn watched the kids run to gather around Sarah, a smile on his face. They’d all been tired, sun drenched and ready to go home when they got to Great Island Common, but Sarah’s love for the ocean and her knack for finding interesting creatures soon had them all invested in the hunt through the rocky tide pools. 

“Mia found a small octopus in this pool,” she said, pointing to a craggy divot in the rock. “Can you see it?”

Sam reached forward, and Sarah gently caught his hand, “we can’t touch, remember? We’re in his house. He’s not in ours.” 

Sam nodded, a shy blush spreading over his cheeks. 

Even the adults were gathered around now, along with some people they didn’t know. 

“I don’t see it,” his uncle said. 

“Octopus camouflage really well, so they’re hard to see, but if you look really closely,” she traced the outline of it with her finger above the water, “you can see where it looks just a little different from the rock, and then you can find the legs and suction cups.” 

After a moment, Quinn could see the creature, legs curlicued underneath itself, rows and rows of tiny suction cups just lighter than the body. 

“And you can see the urchin there,” she pointed to the purple creature on the other side of the pool. “Those are poisonous if the spines go through your skin, so make sure you don’t step on any of them, okay?”

The little kids nodded seriously.

“Sarah! There’s a crab!” 

“Where?” she asked as if she’d never seen one before. 

Sam proudly pointed to the crab crawling along the bottom of an adjacent pool. 

“Good job, Sam. What else can you see?” 

They fanned out and reported their findings. 

“What’s this?” Jason asked. 

Sarah walked over and laughed. “That,” she reached into the pool and plucked something out, “is a plastic bag.” 

“Oh,” he said with a laugh, “I thought it might be a jellyfish.”

“No. Jellyfish don’t like the shallow water, so they usually don’t end up in tide pools unless they get caught, and they look more like a pile of Jello if they do. Most things in tide pools like to be there because each new tide brings fresh water and fresh food. It’s sort of an all you can eat buffet without having to go very far.” 

“Sarah!” Nova screeched. 

She immediately turned around, nearly toppling over in her haste. 

Quinn caught her arm and held her steady. 

“Thanks,” she said with a grateful smile before searching for Nova. “Are you okay, sweetheart?” she asked when she spotted the small girl, squatting over a pool. 

“There’s a star in here!” 

Sharing a conspiratorial smile with Quinn, she made her way over. 

“You’re right. That is a sea star,” she said. “Oh, and look, it’s lost an arm.”

“Oh no,” Nova said, hands coming up to her pudgy cheeks. 

“Its okay. That happens to sea stars sometimes, but guess what?”

“What?” 

“They grow right back. If we come back in two months, she’d have a brand new arm.” 

“Really?” 

“Really.” 

Watching her go from pool to pool to talk to the kids about what they’d found, he understood why the aquarium liked her to do the octopus talks. She was patient and excited and willing to talk about even the most boring of topics. 

He already knew she was smart and patient and kind, but seeing all of those things directed at people he loved made his heart feel fit to burst. 

Her sister leaned over, and Ellen leaned in to hear her conspiratorial whisper, “I’ve never seen Quinn look so lovestruck before.”

“I know,” Ellen agreed, smiling.

“It’s a good look on him. She’s a great girl.”

As they walked back to the cars, ready to get dinner and head home for the day, Jack caught up with Sarah. “Can we do that in Hawaii?” he asked quietly so no one would overhear.

She smiled over at him, “sure. Or we could go snorkeling. There are a lot of really good snorkeling coves around the island. We could find some really interesting fish. Probably even some sharks or turtles.”

His face lit up in a beaming smile, “yeah, that would be cool.” 

Day 5 (Goodbye is the hardest word): 

Quinn let himself sleep in the next morning. Savoring the last few hours he had with Sarah. 

They cuddled in bed, falling in and out of slumber until someone knocked on the door. 

“Yeah?” Quinns voice rasped, and he cleared his throat. 

“Is it safe?” Luke asked. 

“What do you want?” 

Figuring he wouldn’t have responded if they were engaged in other activities, Kylee stuck her head in, breathing a sigh of relief to find them cuddled together but fully clothed. 

“Sorry,” she said. “Ellen wanted me to remind you breakfast’s almost over, so if you want food, you need to come out now.”

When they stumbled onto the lawn, still in their pajamas, someone wolf whistled. Quinn flipped them off. 

After eating, they ended up back in bed, content to hold each other for a little while longer. 

“I’m gonna miss you so bad,” Quinn whispered. 

Sarah agreed.

“Twenty-nine days,” he breathed. 

“What?” 

“That’s when I can see you again.”

Sarah opened her mouth to dispute but remembered Jack’s plan and snapped it shut. “Maybe it won’t be so bad,” she said instead.

“No?” he asked. “Because it sounds pretty fucking awful to me.” There was a harshness in his tone she didn’t recognize. 

Easing away from him, she propped herself up so she could look into his face, “why are you mad?”

“I’m not mad.”

“Bullshit. I can hear it in your voice. Why are you mad?”

Feeling caught and cornered, Quinn blew a breath through his nose. “I just…we’re not going to see each other for 29 days - probably longer than that, and you’re telling me it’s not going to be so bad? Do you not even miss me?”

Shocked, she sat up, moving further away from him.  “What the fuck, Quinn? Of course I miss you.” 

“But not as much,” he crossed his arms over his chest as he sat up, too. 

“I miss you an enormous amount. I miss you every day we’re not together.”

“But it’s going to be fine when we’re apart?”

Sarah felt her defenses go up. “That’s not what I said.” 

“But it’s what you meant.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth, Quinn,” her voice went hard. 

He glared at her, and it shocked into her stomach. 

 Fighting against the urge to put more space between them, she said, “I don’t understand where this is coming from.” 

“I’m saying that I’m going to miss you,” his voice tipped into a borderline mocking tone as if he was trying to explain something to an unruly child, “and you’re telling me to buck up because it won’t be that bad.”

Damn Jack and his surprise. It would make everything so much easier if she didn’t have to keep this a secret. 

“I didn’t say that,” she said. Anger at being mocked and told what she was thinking simmered inside her, making her heartbeat race. 

He dropped his gaze to his hands. 

Pressing her palms into the mattress, she tried to ground herself as she thought. Ever since they’d talked about the summer and he’d asked why she always ran away, she’d been working with her therapist on sitting in these tense, uncomfortable emotions. Taking a deep breath, she tried to sort through her thoughts. What did she actually want to say? 

“Quinn, I love you.” 

He didn’t look at her, but she saw his mouth twitch. 

“This summer fucking sucks. I wish all of it was like this,” she ventured to put a hand on his knee. When he didn’t shrink away from her touch, she continued, “I miss you all the time when we’re not together.” 

He sighed, focusing on the warmth from her palm on his leg. 

“All I meant was that we made it through this 17 day stint —”

“19,” he corrected. 

“19,” she repeated. “I know 29 days isn’t the same as 19 by a long shot,” also they would see each other in 22 days, but he didn’t know that yet, “but we made it this time. I’m not saying it won’t be hard, but we’ll figure it out, just like we’ve figured out everything else.”

He lifted his head, and to her surprise, the sunlight streaming through the window was shimmering off of tears pooled in his eyes. 

“Oh, Quinn,” she said,  scooting closer to him so she could gather him into an embrace. 

He tucked his face into her neck and took some deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. Her fingers slid into his hair, rubbing soothing circles on his scalp. 

“I’m sorry,” he said into her skin. “I was just thinking about how much it’s going to suck driving back from the airport without you.”

She hummed in agreement. She’d been thinking about the long flight home without him, too. The anticipation of seeing him wouldn’t be there to soothe the ache down this time. 

“I know we made it, but now that I know how hard it is to be without you for nineteen days, it just feels like,” he lifted his head to look into her face, “it feels like now I know exactly how hard it’s going to be to wait twenty-nine.” 

The pain in his eyes ripped her heart in half. If Jack hadn’t made her promise to keep it a secret, she’d tell him right now.  

Instead, she slipped her hands to cradle his jaw and said, “it’ll be hard, but we’ll get through it together. We’ll talk every day.”

“Maybe I’ll come out for a weekend,” he suggested. 

“Sure.”

Leaning forward, he tipped his mouth to hers.

They stayed there for a long time, kissing in that slow, loving way, as if they had all the time in the world. 

When his hands snuck under her top, she let him strip it off. 

It was only when his mouth went to her neck that she remembered, “Quinn, the blinds.” 

He made a dismissive sound. 

“What if someone sees?” 

Even as he thought, then let them see, he knew Sarah wouldn’t be comfortable with it. She didn’t say anything about the door, hopefully because she’d also noticed no one had opened it without knocking since that first night. 

Convincing himself to pull away only with the promise that he'd be back in bed momentarily, he got up to close the blinds. The window looked out into the forest behind the house. He supposed someone could stumble upon it - it was on the ground floor - but he hadn’t ever noticed anyone walking by. Still, if it made Sarah more comfortable, he would do it. 

He closed the shutter doors and slid the blinds up, making sure the magnets caught so they wouldn’t fall open. 

Sunlight crept in through the cracks so that when he turned back to the bed, he found her bathed in a dim, bluish light. 

As Sarah reached for him, she murmured, “lets make the most of the time we have.” 

He didn’t waste any covering her body with his own, welcoming the electricity that sparked between their bare chests. 

They kissed and touched, exploring with a kind of rushed reverence. They had some time, but there was only so long before someone would come looking for them. 

Quinn gently rocked his hips into hers, and she responded in kind.

“I love you,” she whispered, tangling her fingers in his hair as he licked and kissed the sensitive spot that drove her mad. When she’d arrived, his facial hair was just over the cusp of stubble. Now, it was a pleasant scratch against her tender skin. 

“I love you,” he responded, so quietly she felt his lips under her ear more than she heard the words. 

“Quinn,” she breathed.

“I love the way you say my name.” His voice was dim. 

It wasn’t so much that they were trying to be quiet, as it was that this moment was just for them, and neither felt the need to speak any louder than necessary. 

 “How do you want me?” she asked before he could. He asked all the time, and he deserved to get what he wanted just as much as she did. Plus, the least she could do while keeping this secret from him was give him what he wanted. 

He moaned something into her skin. She’d asked him this before, but it still made him lightheaded. “How do you want me?” Not just how do you want sex, but how did he want her — her body and mind and soul. 

“Want you on top,” he whispered. He wanted the vision of her riding him to be the last thing he remembered from her visit. 

She let out a pleasured hum, helping him roll them over. 

They made quick work of shedding the rest of their clothing, and she slowly sunk onto him. 

A quiet whine escaped his throat as he said, “you’re so perfect.”

She leaned forward slightly so her clit brushed against his pelvis with every roll of her hips. Her eyes fluttered closed. “You’re so perfect for me, Quinn.” 

A beam of light caught his eye, and he glanced over. The closet door was open at just the right angle, so the full-length mirror mounted on it reflected her, showing him a side of her he'd never seen before. 

He was mesmerized. Watching Sarah — the sway of her back rising from the white sheet pooled around her hips  — he didn't think he'd ever seen anything so lovely.

“God, you’re so beautiful.” 

She ground against him a bit harder, and he moaned, eyes snapping back to her face just as hers flittered back open. 

The memory of their first - well second - time having sex crashed over Sarah as they held eye contact. 

Moving her hips back to sink him deeper inside her before rocking forward again, she moaned his name. She was sure their emotional connection was a big reason behind it, but no one had ever felt as good as Quinn. The love and acceptance she'd always found in his eyes gave her permission to go after what she wanted. 

In this blue-gray light, she was rendered a painting — a vision — a dream he wanted to relive every night when he closed his eyes.

His hands made a slow exploratory study of her body. Over her luscious thighs to squeeze the flesh of her hips before gliding up the curve of her waist to her lovely breasts. 

The sound she made as she arched into his touch etched itself into his brain. 

Bracing her hands on his chest, she rocked with a little more intent, chasing the spark, now glowing brighter inside her. It tightened her belly and hitched her breathing. 

“Quinn,” she whispered. 

His hand slipped up to push some of her hair out of her face. “Let go.”

“I —” The fire caught, and her whole body tightened as it licked through her veins. 

She constricted around him, and her name rushed out of him as she stole his breath, “Sarah.”  

Her hips rocked and weaved through her high, siphoning his release from him with soft insistence. 

Tenderly lowering herself, Sarah tucked her face into his neck as their skin pressed together with every jagged breath. 

His arms slid around her, keeping her close as his heartbeat slowed. 

“I love you so much.” 

She pushed herself up, keeping him seated inside her. “I love you, Quinn,” she whispered, running her fingers through his hair. “I miss you so much when we're not together.”

“I know.” Tears sheened into his vision again, “I’m sorry.”

She shook her head, sending a few pieces of hair slipping out of her bun. “You don’t need to…”

“I just hate being without you.” 

Slowly, she lowered herself to lay over him again, taking care to not move too fast. She didn’t want to let go of the feeling of him inside her just yet. “I hate being without you, too,” she murmured against his lips. 

They stayed in their little cocoon as long as they could, but Quinn was right. Eventually, someone did come looking for them. The knock on the door startled his mouth away from hers. She licked and pursed her lips. 

“Quinn?” it was his dad. 

Breath hitching, she scrambled off of him, taking the sheet to cover herself along the way. 

“Yeah?” 

The door handle didn’t move, and Sarah practically collapsed beside him. 

“Just letting you know lunch is ready, and you’re going to have to leave soon to get Sarah to her flight on time. The airport security looks really busy.”

The fact that Jim was checking up on the security lines at the airport was so tender to Sarah. It was such a fatherly, responsible thing to do. 

“Okay,” Quinn responded, “we’ll be out in a minute.”

He waited for his dads footsteps to recede before throwing on a pair of boxers and racing to the bathroom to get a washcloth for her. When he got back to the room, he found her, still wrapped in the sheet, adding the last of her things to her suitcase. That ache reopened in his chest. They would get through it, but he would miss her every second. 

“I was thinking,” Sarah began as Quinn handed her the washcloth. 

“Hm?” he asked, watching her clean up. 

“Why don’t you have Jack or someone ride along to the airport? Then at least you won’t be alone for the drive back.”

“And what if I wanted to have a quicky on the road?” he asked playfully. 

She couldn’t stop the snort. “You don’t have to, I just thought it might help with some of that loneliness.”

Her care for him stopped taking him by surprise a long time ago, but he was still bowled over by it sometimes. “You wouldn’t mind?” he asked. 

“Mind what?” 

“Two hours in the car with Jack?”

 “I think I can manage,” she said with a smile, “especially if it means you won’t be so lonely going home.” 

Though she was halfway through dressing, he didn’t hesitate to wrap her in an embrace. 

The tender moment shattered when Quinn slid his hands into her underwear to grope her butt. She laughed, but jerked away from him. “If we start that again, I’ll definitely miss my flight.”

Hands on her hips, he pulled her back, “maybe that’s the idea,” he said, quirking his eyebrows. 

Laughing, she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him, deep and slow, until guilt gnawed at the back of her mind. She pulled back, looking into his eyes. “You know I don’t want to leave, right?” 

He nodded, one of his hands still cradling her rump. 

“I wish it didn’t have to be like this.” 

 He was spoiled having her this way for four whole days, and now that he’d experienced it, he didn’t want to let it go. He wasn’t rushing to practice, and she wasn’t running to school. They weren’t racing to activities or commitments. They got to just be together.

When she finished packing, Quinn reluctantly took her suitcase to the car as she went out to the lawn for lunch and to say her goodbyes.  

To Sarah, goodbyes were always the hardest part of vacations like this. She still wasn’t exactly sure how everyone was or wasn’t related, but she knew most peoples names at least. 

She hugged everyone she could, stopping to squeeze Nova and Mia extra tight. “You’ll come to Vancouver over break, yeah?” she asked. They’d discovered their fall break fell over a home game stint. 

Mia nodded, flashing a metal filled smile that had come out more and more as the days went on. “I talked to dad. He said he thinks he can get work off.” 

“Great. You have my number, so call me when you’re ready to talk.” Part of the way through their beach day, Mia had asked if she could interview Sarah for her science class. She was supposed to ask a scientist about their use of the scientific method. 

Sarah had laughed and pointed out the sticker on her water bottle. “You can’t use this in school. But this is basically the theory.” The sticker had the steps of the scientific method in a circle with the words ‘fuck around and find out’ around the outside. “I’ll give you some more eloquent answers, though,” she’d promised, knocking her shoulder into Mias as they laughed.

As he watched Sarah interact with his family, Quinn asked Jack if he wanted to drive with them. He agreed if they could stop for dinner in the city on the way back. 

On the drive, Sarah made Quinn explain how everyone was related again. Jack jumped in to help when he forgot something, or he had a different way of remembering who belonged to what family. 

Watching Sarah recite their family tree from the passenger seat, a sense of deja vu passed through Jack. Like seeing how she reacted after the loss, seeing her dedication to knowing how everyone their family loved fit together, he understood how his brother had fallen so hard and so fast. 

When they arrived at the airport, Jack took care of getting Sarah’s bags out of the car so she and Quinn could have a few moments alone. Stepping onto the curb, he noticed several girls with their cell phones out, twittering and gossiping. All of their cameras were pointed at Sarah and Quinn, who were sharing a sweet goodbye. It could be a coincidence, but Jack put himself between the girls and his brother anyway. 

When they finally parted, Sarah turned to Jack and wrapped him in a tight hug. He responded in kind, briefly lifting her off her feet. “See you soon?” 

“Yeah.” 

Turning back to Quinn, she threw her arms around him again. “I love you,” she whispered against his ear. 

“I love you, too.” 

Pulling back to look into his face, her hands moved to his jaw. “Only three weeks.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, keeping his voice quiet enough that Jack wouldn’t hear the emotion choking it. 

“I’ll call when I get home.”

“And on your layover.” 

“And on my layover,” she agreed before leaning up to press another soft kiss to his lips. 

Watching her disappear into the crowd was the worst part. He sniffed. 

Jack’s hand slipped onto his shoulder, and Quinn felt a comforting squeeze. 

They got back into the car to head back to the cabin.  

As Quinn pulled onto the freeway, Jack said, “I like her. She’s good for you.”  

Though he knew Jack wasn’t feeling quite so defensive anymore, it was the first time he’d openly said he liked them together. 

Quinn beamed, holding out a fist for Jack to bump.

“So can she come to Hawaii?” Quinn asked as they pulled off to go to the Chipotle. 

Jack choked on the water he was drinking. “I don’t —” his mind scrambled for the reasons he gave before. “I mean, Sarah’s gonna be on every other family vacation until the end of time, right?” 

Smiling, Quinn nodded, glad that Jack was picking up the vision. 

“Can we have this this one just us? For the last time?” 

He understood Jack’s reasoning, even if it did mean he wouldn’t see Sarah for another two weeks. Sighing, Quinn nodded. 

Jack smiled to himself, knowing this surprise was going to be epic. 

Want more Quinn & Sarah? Check out the Snapshots Masterlist

To read all my fics, check out the Fanfiction Masterlist

[bad-and-drawn-that-way]

What about the moment Vox realizes he's head over heels in love with the reader? What made him fall for them, too? I'm such a sucker for moments like that. 😫

Short little drabble from bed! This is pre-hotel! (God, we need more visuals of him. I crave more gif options)

Unread Notification [Vox x Reader]

It snuck up on him.

Vox liked to think he was a self-aware guy. He knew his temper was easily triggered, and he spent years crafting charisma and charm to compensate. He knew he overworked, and though he'd never admit it out loud, he knew his weaknesses. So there was no reason his feelings for you should have caught him off guard.

Vox had a type. Or at least, he thought he did. He was attracted to power. To cutting edge personalities full of ambition. He thought he loved the rush of excitement that came with the more cutthroat personalities, even though more often than not, the repercussions of playing with fire was getting burned.

It was after getting burned once again by the careless hands of Valentino that Vox met you. The two of you crossed paths at a club where Valentino had dragged Vox in the name of blowing off some steam. Vox didn't feel up to the loud and busy scene, but he'd been desperate for Valentino's affection and was hoping his needs would finally be satiated. He should have known better. Because of fucking course Angel Dust had to be there.

It would matter if Vox just cut his losses and went home to angrily jerk off, but it didn't matter if he stayed. He'd never hear the end of it from Valentino if he left. The moth would just complain about Vox being needy. It had happened before.

So Vox was stuck sitting at a bar in a club that he didn't even want to be at in the first place while Valentino doted on his favorite collared pet. When Vox noticed you sitting beside him at the bar, watching Valentino and Angel Dust with similar disdain to his own.

At first, he thought you were just some random fangirl, but he quickly learned you had actually shown up because Angel had asked for a night on the town to recover from a porn shoot. You clearly weren't a fan of how things had developed, but the memory of how poorly things went the last time you tried to intervine in his addiction to Valentino's poison was fresh in your mind.

So despite how badly you wanted to leave the crowded place and just go home, you stayed. Just in case. You couldn't abandon him even if it was clear he was too far gone from Valentino's aphrodisiacs to be aware of your presence any longer.

At first, you were hesitant to voice your own frustrations about the reoccurring patterns to Vox. He was the overlord in a fucked up situationship with Valentino, after all. However, after a couple of drinks, Vox had gone off on several of his own rants and by the end of the night you had both let out all of your frustrations in a tipsy moment of relief. And no, not in the way you're thinking.

Eventually, the two of you left the club. It was late, and to both of your disdain, you'd lost track of the company you'd arrived with. It didn't seem to matter to the warm hell night, as you found an empty park bench to sit at and started shooting the shit. It was the start of an unexpected friendship that somehow grew into more without Vox realizing.

He'd come to look forward to the stupid memes you'd text him while he was at work. He liked coming over to your shitty apartment and despite how much he bitched about getting fur on his suits, Vox had passed out on the couch with you and your hellcat several times during movie nights. Unlike with the Vees, if you came to him to vent about your day, he genuinely listened. He wanted to provide the relief you gave him when he'd vent to you.

The realization of his feelings hit him like a freight train. As blaringly obvious the loud horns and bright lights may have been to any outside observer, Vox had blindly tied himself to the track without even knowing where he found the rope.

You had fallen asleep on his shoulder after the two of you spent the night marathoning some old, poorly written romcom series. There was popcorn on the floor from where you had thrown the pieces at the horribly stupid couple on the screen while Vox yelled at them for their emotional constipation. Your hair was messily framing your face as the tiniest little snores escape you on occasion. There was a small train of drool running down your chin, and Vox couldn't help but chuckle at how gracelessly you slept.

Without thinking, he tossed a blanket over you and leaned back, so he held you against him where he now lay on the couch. His arms draped over your back, and he smiled softly as your cat noticed the new position and hopped up to lay between your legs. Vox closed his eyes, content as he slowly rubbed your back and let himself relax.

He loved the smell of your shampoo. He loved how he had to use lint rollers after cuddling with you, as stupid and annoying as it could be to keep up the habit. It was worth it, just to remember your smile when he'd find a strand of fur he missed. He loved your stupid sense of humor, and he loved how at peace he felt when he was with you.

For as much as he loved his power and business, he loved getting to let his walls down with you more. He loved getting to just be the dorky guy with a bow tie and vest you poked fun at. He loved the time you tried to make him wear one of your hoodies, only for his head to get stuck. He loved you.

Vox's eyes snapped open as the peaceful sleep he'd almost slipped into was snatched away by the reality of his feelings. His heart was beating so loud, he was surprised you didn't wake up. If anything, you just wrapped your arms around him and buried your face against his chest and it took everything in Vox not to explode there and then.

For the entire night, Vox screamed internally as his body shook, and he repressed the shocks and jolts that threatened to spark and wake you from your peaceful slumber. The overlord looked like exhausted shit by the time you rose with the sun, but he couldn't be damned to care. Not when you sleepily rubbed your eyes and laughed like that. Not when your hair was sticking to your face and you said good morning to him like you were meant to start the mornings in his arms just as naturally as you would breathe.

No. Vox couldn't care less about how worn out he was from the realization if he tried. Just like always, the second he saw your smile, everything else just washed away into background static. He cupped your face and said some sort of sassy quip about your bed head, to which you immediately started freaking out over.

He watched as you started to pat your hair down frantically and smiled softly. Oh yeah, he was fucking whipped.

[fuckyeahpedropascal]

Pedro boys and watches

Some of you may or may not know that I have a ✨thing✨ for watches. I’ve wanted to do this post for about two years now, I’m so happy to finally yeet this into the void. Commentary below the cut ⌚️

While I have you here and we haven't done this in a while - why not a poll? Discussion welcome as always!

P.S. Please don't @ me if I missed any Pedro boy... I think I haven't lol.

• Masterlist •

Related posts:

Rolex & pinky ring: Javi G v Max Lord

Spy watch: Marcus Moreno v Jack Daniels

Joel Miller

Need a say anything about Joel and his watch? It's a small but powerful reminder of Sarah, and it will never not touch my heart when I see it.

Javier Pena

We have so many good shots of Javier and his watch, I might just have to do a proper compilation of it some other time (I did do a very early post on this gosh I've come far with gif making lol). I like to think that Chuco gave it to him, and in one of the closeups, I can see engraving on the band. I'll need to go back and check if I can see what the word is!

Tim Rockford

Tim has a surprisingly fancy looking watch! I was surprised to get such a good look at it, it looks like a chronograph with three dials on the face.

Marcus Moreno and Jack Daniels

We already ran a poll about this, and I agree with the majority of you that our cowboy has slicker wristwear than our superhero dad!

Dave York

I always find it funny in that kitchen scene the way Dave looks so deliberately at his watch several times. It's a classy one with what looks like a leather band, it goes well with our favourite suburban murder daddy's office wardrobe.

Frankie Morales

The watch that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship with @imaswellkid ❤️ I did a way too detailed post about Frankie's watch here, I won't repeat myself here.

Javi G and Max Lord

The subject of another poll, these two fancy pants both sport a Rolex (Javi's is steel and yellow gold, Max's is yellow gold) and a pinky ring.

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

To Know This Will Conquer Me

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Setting: Saviors Arc

Warnings: Typical TWD violence and Gore; panic attack; PTSD; extreme violence

A/N: I’m still on hiatus but I needed to vent. I choose to do that through writing most of the time.

*gif is not mine

He wasn’t stopping. He didn’t want to stop. The Savior wasn’t fighting back, hadn't been since several punches ago. He began begging for his life instead. He knew Daryl was going to kill him. 

“Daryl, stop!”

Rick’s hands were on him, grabbing his shoulders. He shrugged him off. They wrapped around his middle, managing to pull him just above where he had straddled the other man. Daryl grabbed one of the deputy’s fingers and pulled until he felt a pop, heard the shout, and the hold fell away. 

“Please, I’m—I’m sorry—” The Savior begged as Daryl descended on him once more, picking up exactly where he left off. Blood splattered, covering the archer’s knuckles. Bones crunched, giving way and shattering. 

The hammer of Rick’s pistol cocked just behind his head, but Daryl still didn’t stop. He could only see red and he was willing to drown in it. 

“Brother, I need you to stop.”

“Then shoot me.” The archer hissed. The Savior was dead, face caved and throat crushed. Still, Daryl continued. He wouldn’t be satisfied until the man without a name was nothing but a bloody smear beneath him. 

“Daryl.”

He paused, panting and trembling, but he didn’t turn toward your voice. Fist drawing back again, he couldn’t follow through, your small hand wrapping around his bicep. 

“It’s okay.” You soothed, kneeling down on his right. “It’s okay.”

“It ain’t okay!” Daryl roared without looking away from the mess he’d made. “Ain’t never gonna be okay!” He felt more than heard Rick stepping back, the quiet sound of the gun being decocked. 

“It will. You just need time.” You risked bringing a hand toward his face but he jerked away. 

“Don’t.”

“You won’t hurt me, Daryl.” He didn’t move when you continued, brushing back his hair in a gentle gesture he didn’t feel he deserved. “Come home with me.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Ya ain’t safe with me.” Daryl was trembling, his breaths coming too fast. The room was shrinking. He was hot. No, he was freezing. “M’a animal. They turned me into a animal.”

“No. They didn’t. I’m safer with you than I am behind any walls or within any army.” Your arm draped around his shoulder and you stood, relieved when he followed. “At least come away from there. You don’t need to keep seeing that.”

“I do. S’the only thing that makes it stop.”

“Makes what stop, baby?” You led him away from the massacre, the men he had torn apart by weapon and hand; away from your friends who watched the scene helplessly. 

“I need to kill ‘em. Need to make ‘em bleed. It takes—it takes the fear away, the dark.” He didn’t seem to realize his hand was on your chest, palm pressed over your heart. The action was leveling out his breathing. 

“You’re out now. You’re safe.”

“Am I? S’whatcha said when I’d dream of ya while I was there.” He pulled away his hand and wiped angrily at his face. “Are ya even really here?”

“Oh, Daryl. Will you trust me to come closer?” He swallowed hard and nodded. When you moved, it was the smallest of distances. “Do you trust me that I won’t hurt you?” Another nod. “May I hug you?” 

Daryl froze, his body rigid and trembling, back pushed against the wall as far as he could manage. You waited him out until he slumped with a sob and a nod. Your arms were slow to wind around his shoulders, one hand rubbing his back while the other cradled his head. 

“It’s okay, Daryl. It’s okay.” When he finally returned the embrace, he was clinging to you like a lifeline, sobbing openly without memory that others were there. “When you’re ready to move, I’ll take you home. Just me and you.” You whispered, rocking him gently. “You’ll get through this and you won’t need to do it alone.”

[whateverisbeautiful]

So...Jessie? A gif just popped up of when Rick is holding the laundry basket and how eager Jessie was to get in his house. Her whole spiel was so weird looking back - she says she can handle herself and gives so much information about herself. So she's sort of not playing the damsel in distress initially but clearly wants his attention. Was Jessie also a proxy for Rick's guilt with Carol and Sophia? Like he didn't know about Carol being beaten by Ed but knew about it after so was in some way trying to make it up to and for her? Did Andrew Lincoln really not like this storyline either?

Anyway, your thoughts would. be so lovely to read!

Hi! Thanks for wanting to read my thoughts on this 😊. I had to refresh my memory a bit so I rewatched that scene when Jessie arrives on Rick's doorstep and wrote my take below. ⬇️💗

The Jessie scenes always tend to make my skin itch tbh. There's just something uncomfortable about their whole dynamic, especially with how their interactions always emphasize Rick's PTSD and rocky mental state. Every unhealed part of Rick often gets triggered in their scenes.

Watching it back, Jessie's whole angle and energy when introducing herself to Rick was very eager and grasping for a connection imo, all the while trying to appear nonchalant. It's interesting that when she offers to come inside and cut his hair (which a haircut definitely wasn't needed right then and there) Rick is the one more hesitant to let her in and the one more aware that it's a bit too trusting of her to enter the house of a stranger she doesn't know at all.

I agree she tried to avoid playing the damsel in distress but still wanted his attention. While Jessie aims to present the "I can take care of myself" vibe to Rick and the public, I can see her having this underlying want to get some info about Rick and divulge info about herself to gauge if Rick really is someone who can come to the rescue. She likely knows Rick and his group were brought in to better protect ASZ and she probably deep down hoped to find a protector for herself and her kids among them.

Regarding Jessie being a proxy of Rick having guilt over Carol's abuse, I think Jessie is a symbol of many guilts Rick has. I personally don't think Rick feels like he has to make it up to Carol for not saving her and Sophia from Ed's abuse, considering he and Ed were probably only even around each other for a very short time. But I do think that since Rick knew why Carol was so adamant about seeing Pete be stopped, he wanted to handle this situation for Jessie, her kids, Carol, the community, and himself.

It's clear in so many of Rick and Jessie's exchanges that Rick is trying to right many past 'wrongs.' Primarily not being able to save Lori. Like when he is making his case for why Jessie should let him save her and the kids in 5.15, I hear so much vulnerability in his voice when he tells Jessie he doesn’t want her to die and that he can keep her and her boys safe. In that moment, I feel like he can hear Lori's past doubts and Shane's past ridicule ringing in his ear saying 'you can’t protect people,' and so he’s determined to demonstrate that he really can keep this woman safe this time after not being able to do so in the past. 

The Rick and Jessie dynamic remains one of my least favorite, and while I can't say for certain if actors share my stance on their storyline (even if several reactions to the storyline suggest they might agree lol) I'm glad that what has always been clear is what storyline the actors actually loved and championed with a passion and that's the Richonne storyline. 😊

[scoobydoodean]

CASTIEL I'm sorry, Dean, but I warned you not to put that thing back inside him. DEAN What was I supposed to do? Let T-1000 walk around, hope he doesn't open fire? CASTIEL Let me tell you what his soul felt like when I touched it. Like it had been skinned alive, Dean. If you wanted to kill your brother, you should have done it outright.

Another scene people use to villainize Dean for putting Sam's soul back in his body—a kind of meta I have already criticized several times. The context of this scene gets really lost in the weeds when it gets giffed. Most obviously when you actually watch the scene, it's part of a larger conversation about whether or not Sam (who's been unconscious for 10 days) is even going to wake up. Immediately prior to this bit of dialogue that always gets giffed:

DEAN Is he ever gonna wake up? CASTIEL I'm not a human doctor, Dean. DEAN Could you take a guess? CASTIEL Okay. Probably not. DEAN Oh, well, don't sugarcoat it.

Dean asking Cas questions ("Will he wake up?") that Cas doesn't have the answers to is also a thing Cas hates. He likes to avoid questions he doesn't have the answers to by flying off when he can (ex: 5.01, 6.03) or not showing up in the first place (ex: 6.03, 6.06). And all those moments this season have been in regards to questions about Sam's soul... because it's a sore subject in a way we can only realize retroactively after finishing 6.20 "The Man Who Would Be King" where we find out Cas is the reason Sam came back wrong to begin with.

In this scene, Cas thinks Sam isn't going to wake up, and he just felt his soul and saw what a terrible state it's in, and secretly, he sees this as his fault. If Cas hadn't fucked up, Sam's soul, just like his body, would have been back to the earthly realm within a week of Sam going to hell. Because he fucked up and missed something that probably feels painfully obvious in hindsight, Sam's soul spent a year in hell being "skinned alive" as Cas describes, while his body walked around fucking everyone around him over—including Dean who this was supposed to be for. It's his fault that Sam came back soulless. It's his fault that while soulless, Sam hurt people and used Dean and nearly killed Bobby. It's his fault that Dean got so desperate he put Sam's soul back in. It's his fault that Sam's soul is damaged like this because he's the one who accidentally left it behind (and making what in hindsight must feel like such an obvious mistake must be infuriating).

Cas was able to avoid the soulless Sam problem as long as Cas wasn't around. From afar, he could just say "good enough" to have Sam's body around even though he knew Sam was off and was secretly bothered by his behavior (6.06, 6.10). By putting Sam's soul back in his body, Dean unwittingly made the reminder of Cas's mistake unavoidable.

Cas wanted to bring Sam back to make Dean happy, but he fucked it up, and Dean faced the fallout and (tried to) clean up the mess, which probably stings. In the process, Dean was in danger and (by bargaining with Death) put himself in further danger—the number one thing Cas has been trying to avoid since watching Dean rake leaves— which probably stings. Dean asked Cas to touch Sam's soul and then Cas had to directly feel what his careless mistake meant Sam suffered through which definitely stings. And there isn't even a consolation prize here of "well at least I got his body out" anymore because (unwittingly) Dean is telling him “well your fuck up consolation prize wasn’t good enough”. Cas wants to convince himself soulless Sam could have been enough and HE isn’t the one that created Frankenstein’s Monster—Dean did—but Cas knows that isn’t true deep down. In his head, he ultimately created this situation and this incongruous Sam and all the fallout is on him. Sam wakes up and prays to him and Cas immediately shows up with no ulterior motives like an ancient weapons (such as in 6.03 or 6.06 or 6.10). He shows up purely because Sam is awake and alive and his soul is in his body and he's OKAY despite all the damage resulting from Cas's major fuck up and it's such a relief Cas forgets all the awkward interactions they had in season 5 and tries to hug him.

[thoseboysinblue]

Mistletoe Magic

Gif by @lovelynikol16

Christian Pulisic x reader

You find yourself caught under the mistletoe with Christian.

Wordcount: 1500+

Requested: No

Warnings: Swearing

You wander up to the door of the house marked by the address Christian sent you earlier. Adjusting your hair slightly and taking a deep breath, you knock on the door and wait for someone to answer.

"Hey you, I'm glad you could make it," Christian engulfs you in a hug, placing a light kiss to your cheek. He accepts the beer and small bag of snacks you brought as a thank you for the invitation.

"Thank you for inviting me," you smile at him as you remove your coat and hang it in the small closet in the entryway of his house.

"I would've invited you to stay if I had known you were going to be in Milan," he narrows his eyes at you.

"It was kind of a last minute change of plans, and I didn't want to impose," you offer him a smile.

"You're never imposing, you know you're always welcome to stay anytime, y/n," he says as he leads you into the kitchen, you noticing the traditional Christmas decor scattered around.

Your job as a travel blogger means that you hop around quite a bit. You'd stayed with Christian several times in London since it was a good starting out point for many of your adventures, but you haven't visited him in Italy until now.

"So what brings you to Italy for the holidays?" he asks, pouring you a glass of wine while he opens a beer.

"I'm writing something on Christmas markets," you shrug at him, "I wasn't supposed to come here actually, but needed to make some alterations due to a few things, so here I am."

"Well, you know I'm always glad to see you," he smiles, a genuine smile.

Your friendship with Christian started several years ago, right after his move to Chelsea. You both happened to be at the same event one evening in London and found a small bit of comfort in having someone from "home" close by.

You often spent time with him when he was home during the summers, blocking off a week or so from your travels to be able to visit him. You had become friends with several of his friends and things were just easy between you.

You both took a bit of heat for the natural flirtation that seemed to flow back and forth, but never had it gone beyond that. You were friends with him, not someone he grew up with, but someone who had earned his trust over a period of time and vice versa.

"I think you invited me here early because you wanted someone to do the dirty work for you," you chuckle as you arrange various platters of food for the twenty or so guests he had invited over for a small holiday gathering.

"We might have time for some actual dirty work," he quips at you as he glances at the time on his watch.

"Aww, the Italian model scene not to your taste?" you grin as you chunk an grape at him which he somehow manages to catch in his mouth.

"Honestly, I haven't had much time for all that," he shrugs, "been trying to get settled in here and really trying to stay focused right now."

"Well, you seem to be settling in just fine," you smile softly at him as you finish the last tray.

He turns on some Christmas music and grabs your hand and twirls you around a couple of times, both of you laughing as you dance and sing along.

As the other guests start to arrive, Christian introduces you to some of his new teammates as well as their significant others. You also greet his former Chelsea teammates you had met previously as well as his international teammates, a couple of them having made the trip from Turin for the party.

"It's good to see you," Weston grins as he gives you a warm hug.

"Yeah, you too, Wes," you roll your eyes at the mischevious look on his face.

"He made a move yet?" he nods towards Christian who keeps glancing over to you, curious as to what his friend could possibly be saying that has you looking slightly flustered.

"What? No! He would never, you know we aren't like that, at all," you shake your head.

"You sure? I mean, I've never seen two people flirt as relentlessly as you guys do and never take it any further," he narrows his eyes at you.

"Well, that's just how we are, harmless flirtation, that's it," you offer him a beer.

"You spending the holidays here with him though?" he continues pressing you.

"I'm in Milan, writing for my blog, he didn't even know I was here until he saw my story yesterday. I have my own hotel, so no, I'm not 'spending the holidays with him'," you use air quotes to mimic his previous statement.

"That's a shame, I'm sure he'd love unwrapping you as a gift on Christmas morning," he chuckles as you swat at him.

You continue chatting with people as the night carries on, engaging in a few drinking games and you and Christian carrying on your usual flirtatious banter.

You head to the bathroom and when you return, everyone has moved from the kitchen and dining area over to the living room to continue playing party games.

Christian is leaning in the doorway between his living room and kitchen, looking at his phone when you approach him and wrap your arms around his waist and tuck yourself under his arm as he naturally moves to drape it over your shoulder.

"This has been a good party, Chris," you smile up at him, "I've had fun getting to know everyone and catching up with some of the others."

"It has been fun, hasn't it?" he smiles back at you, "I hope Wes hasn't given you too much grief."

"Oh, I can handle him, you don't have to worry about that," you shake your head.

"Oh, I know, if anyone can take him down a notch or two, it's you," he chuckles.

"Hey, you two," you hear Wes shout over everyone, "look up," he grins.

The two of you look up simultaneously, before your eyes widen and meet with Christian's.

"Fuck, I forgot I put that there," he stares at you, suddenly unsure of what he should do.

"Well, I'm pretty sure it's bad luck if you are caught under the mistletoe and don't kiss, so..." you trail off.

"Yeah, I think so too, and I mean, we don't want bad luck following us around do we?" his eyes flick from your eyes down to your lips and back to your eyes.

"But we don't have to, if you don't want to, y/n, I don't want to force you into anything," he looks at you sincerely.

"It's just a kiss under the mistletoe, Christian," you smile softly at him as you move your hands around the back of his neck and inch closer to him.

"It's probably full of nargles, anyways," you grin as he closes the distance and you hear him chuckle under his breath.

"You sure?" he asks one more time, his lips mere millimeters from yours.

You nod and close your eyes, pressing your fingers into the back of his neck and encouraging him to close the gap.

His lips brush against yours softly and timidly, before he slides his hand up to cup your jaw and pull you into him a bit further. You kiss him back, slightly surprised at the immediate butterflies that erupt in your stomach.

The kiss lasts a few more moments before you both pull away and smile shyly at one another.

"About damn time," Wes whistles at you.

It suddenly hits you what just happened, Christian kissed you, albeit somewhat forced by holiday superstition, but he still kissed you, and you kissed him. And you didn't expect to like it as much as you did.

You quickly rush down the hallway and into the first room you find, shutting the door behind you, needing a few minutes to get a grip on everything.

You lean with your back against the door as you take a few deep breaths, closing your eyes and calming yourself before you get too overwhelmed.

You hear a soft knock at the door, "y/n, are you in there," you hear Christian ask quietly.

You turn and open the door, letting him in before quickly closing it behind him.

"Are you ok?" he looks at you, his eyes full of concern, as he moves to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

"Yes, no, I don't know," you sigh, leaning into his touch as he cups his hand along your jaw.

"It wasn't supposed to feel like that when you kissed me," you breathe out, "I wasn't supposed to feel anything, it was supposed to be a kiss between friends under the mistletoe, no big deal."

"It wasn't supposed to feel like what?" he asks quietly. "Wasn't supposed to feel like butterflies and fireworks and like your insides were suddenly on fire?"

You look up at him, curious to know if he was telling you he'd had the same unexpected reaction.

"Because, that's what I felt a few minutes ago, and I'm kind of hoping you felt it too," he says leaning his forehead against yours.

"Yes, I felt it too," you close your eyes.

"Want to see if that was just a one time thing?" he whispers against your lips, smiling when you pull him closer to you and connect your lips back to his.

This kiss is different from the first, it's not shy nor timid, it is full of certainty and desire. He kisses you like you are the oxygen he needs to breathe. He runs his tongue along the seam of your lips, silently asking for entrance, and moans softly into your mouth when you allow his tongue to press against yours.

You can't deny he's a good kisser as you sink further into one another, tangling your fingers into the hairs at the nape of his neck, and damn it, he knows what he's doing with his tongue. You have to stop your thoughts from running away with themselves as the two of you allow your hands to roam over one another's bodies, gripping each other as closely as you can.

You pull away from one another breathless and dizzy, a grin spreading on both of your faces.

"Definitely not a one time thing," he chuckles pecking you on the lips again.

"No, I don't think so either," you shake your head.

"So what now?" you ask him, realizing this has just changed everything between you.

"Now, I think we have to go back to the party," he sighs, "but I want you to stay later so we can talk."

"Ok," you nod.

"Would you consider staying the night?" he grins cheekily at you.

"I might, but don't get too far ahead of yourself," you grin back at him.

"No, no, that's not what I meant. I mean I would like for you to stay, and talk, and keep kissing me like that, but we don't have to do anything else until we figure things out," he says quietly, placing another delicate kiss to your lips.

"I think I can handle that," you lean your head against his chest, listening to the way his heart is pounding.

"Ok, so let's figure out a polite way to kick everyone out," he chuckles kissing you one more time before opening the door and ushering you back towards the other guests.

Tag List:

@chilwellspulisic @neverinadream @pulisicsgirl @swimmingismywholelife @lovelynikol16 @nyctophilic0vitnir @lunamelona @tall-tanned-tattoo @lizzypotter14 @xjval @notsoattractivearenti @bracedes @landoslover

[neuroticbookworm]

Love in the Big City Part 4: We All Need T-aras in Our Lives

So, fun fact: the day after I finished reading the book Love in the Big City, I had a sob session that came dangerously close to The Great Hunger Games meltdown I had in 2015. Young’s story was deeply moving, and the fact that it was presented to us in Young’s voice, dripping in self-proclaimed “objective self-judgement” made it more relatable to me. It was one of the reasons why I dreaded watching Part 4, and why it took me several days to even process the episodes, and separate them from the source material.

Part 4 of the book was intensely introspective. When Young walked his path to acceptance, littered with grief, despair, sadness, unfairness, distraction (which ultimately proved ineffective), and so much more, we, as readers, walked alongside him. We don’t see him interact with anyone else in this section, with the brief exception of Habibi. In fact, I remember being struck by how much of Gyu-ho we had in this section. Young tried to run and fuck his feelings away, but learned that this time around, he can’t. Gyu-ho had meant too much. They had too much, which is now lost, and it demanded to be grieved. The final line of the book, “Gyu-ho. My only wish” was so haunting, and yet tinged with the tiniest sliver of hope. Maybe next time, he won’t run. Next time, he might choose to stay and talk.

All of this is why I felt.. disconnected, after I watched episodes 7 and 8 of the show. I am a big proponent of the fact that change is a deeply painful process, and I felt like some of the show’s adaptation choices in this section took away from showing us Go Yeong’s painful emotional processing. But, after several days of sitting with my thoughts, and many conversations with friends, I decoupled the show from the book, and asked myself “What spoke to me in this section?” And the answer was: the inclusion of T-aras and the message the show sent with it.

I absolutely love that T-aras were banging down Go Yeong’s door to check on him, after not hearing from him for six days. I love that they shoved him into the shower and dragged him out for a celebratory meal for quitting his corporate job. Go Yeong rolled his eyes at all the eggshells his friends were walking around, but I am glad that they were undeterred and made sure to always have him around to express his exasperation. I love that T-aras called Go Yeong to witness Eun Su getting engaged. I love that Eun Su chose to be vulnerable with Go Yeong, sharing his fears around marriage. And lastly, I am so, so glad that the show left us with the final scene of Go Yeong watching the fireworks with T-aras.

As I processed this show, I remembered reading an observation on the interwebs about Eeyone from Winne the Pooh that stuck with me. No matter how pessimistic, sad, and depressed Eeyore was, his friends never left him behind. They always included his sad self in their adventures, listened to his sad tales, and enjoyed his sad company. He might think that he is not a lot of fun to be around, but it does not matter to his friends, who want him around anyways.

It took me a while to understand this, but I now believe that while change is still a deeply painful process, it does not have to be a lonely one. I am glad that the show decided to centre the exteriority of Go Yeong’s emotional processing, rather than recreating the book’s focus on the interiority of it. Both are equally important, and neither takes away from the other.

My inability to participate in the LITBC book club discussion due to live events gave me intense FOMO for weeks, so I am very happy that I got to participate in the show’s discourse. Thank you @bengiyo and @lurkingshan for organizing the book club, and encouraging discourse with discussion questions and meta-round ups. And thank you to my friends, book club members, and gif makers for sharing your thoughts and work here, and enriching my watch experience immensely. See y’all around on the hellsite!

[cumulo-stratus]

I'll Remember For Us

(GIF NOT MINE)

Pairing: spencer reid x Male!badass!reader

Description: the team goes to Los Angeles, in august and y/n ( the ever emotionless and stone cold profiler with a soft spot for spencer) is chasing an unsub when he fights with the unsub and falls, getting a concussion and fractured wrist, spencer is there for him. (no prior romantic relationship, just friends)

Warnings: possible swearing, lemme know if theres anything else

Flufftober day 3: injured/sick

6 Hours Ago:

Y/ns legs burned as he chased the hooded man through the stairwell, the unsub only a few feet ahead of him now. Finally the hooded man reached a dead end and turned around, preparing for a fight. And so, they fought.

Present:

JJ watched y/ns curled frame up from from across the hospital room. His shoulders gently shook as he cried. JJ sighed as hotch walked into the room, a hospital report in his hands. “They say he’s got a moderately severe concussion, so he’s gonna be pretty out of it and he’s got some amnesia, and a fractured wrist and elbow.” Hotch said quietly. “he’s lucky its not worse..” JJ was cut off though, y/ns unusually unsure voice floated across the room as he asked “where’s spencer” Y/n whined with a wobbly lip type voice like that of a small child trying not to cry. Jj looked up at a Hotch with her eyebrows knitted together in concern "He's on his way- remember?" JJ used the sweet motherly voice she often used with her children. Y/n whined again and said quietly "i dont think he likes me anymore.." with the saddest face JJ and Hotch had ever seen.

"Where are y/ns clothes? The nurse let me know that we can leave whenever." Hotch asked Jj while still keeping a watchful eye on the curled up frame across the room.

"He only has work slacks and button up-" jj responded

"I'll get him something to wear"

jj vaguely heard Hotch ask about a nearby store to a nurse as Spencer finally walked in, his cardigan draped over his arms and tie roughly loosened around his neck. Jj just nodded at him as he walked past her and to the side of the bed y/n lies on. Spencer approached slowly and when y/n looked up he looked relieved to finally see Spencer.

"Spencer.. I thought you didn't like me anymore" Spencer was caught off guard at how meek and unsure y/ns voice was, but hid it for y/ns sake. "oh y/n, I'll always like you" Spencer lowered himself into a half squat to be at y/ns level as he said this.

JJ watched from across the room as Spencer gave y/n small reassurances in a soft and gentle voice. And as Spencer reached out to rub y/ns arm lovingly, Derek walks in and was stopped in his tracks at the scene in front of him. Spencer had now climbed onto the bed next to y/n, between him and the rest of the room. As if protecting him. Spencer was slouched down to y/ns level, his thumb rubbing small, comforting circles on his hand. Y/n leaned onto Spencer's should as they spoke. This is the same man who had once given Derek the cold shoulder for a week when he asked y/n to give him a smile. Morgan looked at jj confused and jj just shrugged, before suggesting they leave and call Penelope to make sure she knows he okay.

"My shoulder hurts Spencer" y/n said with his eyes closed in a meek voice. "I know it does love, but the pain medication will take effect in a couple minutes, okay?" Spencer handled the out of it y/n with ease, knowing what to say and what to do in perfect time. Y/n whined into spencers chest and said “i cant remember anything spencer- whats my birthday?”. Spencer chuckled quietly at y/n’s worries and responds in a gentle, loving voice “dont worry y/n, i can remember for both of us. And your birthday is (your birthday).”

y/n hugged spencer as a silent thank you for his willingness to be there. And as y/ns eyes began to drift closed, getting heavier and heavier spencer mumbled to himself “ill remember for both of us..” with a small on his lips.

The End

[slayerkitty]

What Happened to Non?

All right. We've all been talking about what happened to Non since the show started - in a "something bad obviously happened, they obviously did something to him, not sure if they killed him but..." way.

I've been doing something thinking during my re-watching with @shannankle about what this group of antagonistic idiots did to Non (regardless of intention) and I has a clown theory. *puts on clown hat and starts smearing on the make-up*

One of the things that @shannankle and I did for fun was actually go back and watch the pilot trailer for DFF, just to see if they kept any of it or similar scenes in the show. As is typical for pilot trailers, almost none of it has translated over to the actual show, other than they share a similar vibe and the relationships (PheeJin and TeeWhite). But what I found interesting is what happened to Non in the pilot trailer.

Trigger Warning: Character is tied up/kidnapped/forcibly stripped

These absolute douche nozzles stripped Non to his boxers, tied him up, and left him (possibly unconscious) on a rooftop. Now, I'm not a doctor, and I have limited knowledge on the health risks of this, but I would say IT'S PROBABLY NOT GOOD. Dehydration, sunburn, heat stroke, etc. Also, I'm sure it would be demeaning and humiliating to Non.

Now, do I think that's what they did to Non in the show? No.

Do I think they might do something similar? Yes.

Will they take Non out to the woods, strip him and tie him up? No.

But will they drug him, make him think he's being chased by the killer from their movie, and then attacked by the killer and then leave him alone out in the woods while tripping? Yeah, I think they might.

When the show first starts, the opening scene is Jin and Non running out the side door and into the woods. They're terrified. Jin pulls on Non several times to direct him toward the shrine in the woods and then abandons Non at the shrine to run off. Non is then "attacked" the killer, and blood splatters in his face.

Why do I think they drugged Non? Because in episode 2, in the closet when White finds the antenna and the knife, he also finds an empty vial. It looks prescription and like it's maybe been there for a while (three years, possibly?).

What a great prank it would be, wouldn't it, to convince Non that they're actually being stalked by the killer Non created for their script. Drug his drink, Tee slips on the costume, everyone freaks out and Jin leads Non into the woods before running off. Harmless right?

Except that none of them ever saw Non again. He disappeared. They don't know if he's alive, or if what they did contributed to his death somehow.

I don't know if the show is going to have Non live or not. I can see both options as viable. But there is no doubt in my mind that they drugged and tortured Non with his own creation under the guise that it was all a prank.

(gif by @ging-ler)

[hoosbandewan]

THE Billy Taylor Post

I have a love/hate relationship with The Halcyon as a show overall. I don't feel like all of it is written well, but the area in which it definitely excels is Billy Taylor's story. You know, the cutie pie bellboy that Ewan plays and who is always bugging out in all of the gifs we make of him. He's young, he's sweet, and he's insanely adorable.

And his story is also the best in the entire show. In my opinion!!

I also cry whenever I think about Billy for too long but we'll get into that later, hehe.

Spoilers for The Halcyon, btw!

If you haven't seen it, The Halcyon is set at a fancy hotel in London just as WWII has come to Britain. Also, fair warning that this post is a little bit all over the place because I have SO MANY BILLY TAYLOR FEELS

At the start of the show, Billy is seventeen and working at The Halcyon as a bellboy. He's portrayed by Ewan as someone who's maybe a little bit... no thoughts, head empty. I jokingly refer to Billy as having big NPC energy when he's in the background of scenes because it looks like he has radio static going through his head whenever he's not being interacted with. And like to think that it's not because it was Ewan's first gig as an actor. I think Billy genuinely is a little bit daft. He's the baby himbo. He's the golden retriever puppy who isn't the smartest in the room but he makes up for it with hard work and dedication and pure sweetness.

I mean, he's only seventeen and he appears to be one of the higher ranking bellboys at the hotel. He's given important tasks like welcoming ~secret guests to the hotel, showing new hires where to go, and personally taking care of high ranking guests' belongings. He's clearly trusted by the management and is, more importantly, very good at his job.

But, bless his heart... Billy can be kind of a mess. He's forgetful and sometimes just plain thick. He loses the family dog of the lord and lady who own the hotel while taking it out for a walk. (Literally how does that happen. Billy.) He bungles the staff poker game by revealing his hand without realizing. He's also a silly little dumbass when he and a couple of the other hotel staff are at the movie theater and see the lady who owns the hotel (who's there on a !secret date) and he straight up points at her from several aisles back with his eyes all bugging out. Be more obvious, Billy!

Billy is young and naive and maybe not the smartest guy around, but you know what? He's good at what he does (most of the time, lol) and he's a damn hard worker.

He's also someone who knows that people are reluctant to believe in him and he clearly doesn't like that. Billy signs up to join the army the moment he turns eighteen and, although we don't see it, his mum Peggy (who works at the hotel as the telephonist aka switchboard operator) mentions to the hotel general manager that there was a bit of an argument between them over it.

“Do you know why he was so upset that I didn’t want him signing up? He thought I was saying he wasn’t good enough.”

He also gets angry with his mum when his call-up papers do arrive. I know I called him daft before, so I'm giving him credit where credit is due - he actually very cleverly notices that the letter should have gone to his family's house, but it showed up at the hotel instead. And, upon learning that he's been assigned to the Royal Artillery instead of what he wanted - the engineers - he knows it was his mum (with the help of the hotel general manager, but he doesn't know that part) who moved things around so that Billy could stay close to home.

He angrily tells her, "I ain't a child no more," and storms out of the room. Billy wants to prove himself. He wants to be a grown up with responsibilities and he wants to be believed in.

You feel for him, but you also feel for his mum, who is watching her only son grow up and enlist in the war effort. At one point, Peggy mentions that she was only 19 or 20 by the time she'd had Billy, so she was a young mother (and still is!). Her worrying and fretting over him clearly annoys him because he's a teenager, but, god you feel for her. We also learn that Billy's dad, Jim, was drafted to fight in the war so she must be out of her mind with worry. I'll get more into my Billy feels as related to his mum in a bit. But I mean... just look at this line of Peggy's after Billy's joined the army:

“I pray. I fuss. I hold him a little tighter each time I see him."

Before I move on, GOSH, Billy is such a teenager when it comes to his interactions with his mum, lol. He doesn't want her fussing over him or being affectionate. He shrugs her off when she tries to fix his collar. He's reluctant to let her kiss his cheek... but he lets her do it anyway, of course.

Speaking of his family, Billy's relationship with his little sister, Dora, is also so cute and I love them. She tells another character that she doesn't miss him once he's moved out to join the army because she thinks he's "annoying" but she really does love him, lbr. And he's clearly very close with her, too.

At one point, their family home is destroyed in the Blitz so Peggy and Dora move into The Halcyon for a while. Billy watches his sister on mornings that he can get away from his army duties. He carries her around piggyback style. He lets her wear his army hat. He calls her "squirt." They're freaking adorable.

There's also a cute little moment during one of the Blitz raids where Billy's mum and sister are in the hotel shelter and Dora is frightened. Her mum tells her to listen for the sounds of the artillery and says, “That’s our Billy. He’s protecting us.”

And he is. Billy is a protector. He's always looking out for the people he cares about. When Kate, the maid he has a crush on, is SA'd by the Count, Billy angrily confronts him and even points the Count's own fucking gun at him. AND HE PULLS THE TRIGGER. He was about to fucking murder this man for doing what he did to Kate!

Billy is a fucking real one. God, he's the best character.

I don't have anywhere specific to put this, but I wanted to mention how much I love the little detail the writers added in about Billy's handiness and interest in machinery:

He is seen chatting with one of the waiters about the guns they use in the war and is later able to correctly identify the type of German plane flying over the hotel.

Later on in the season, The Halcyon's general manager and head concierge are trying to fix the hotel generator and lamenting that Billy was the one who always maintained it before he left to join the army. (I will come back to this later because omg)

Billy himself mentions to his mum at one point that he's planning on helping a neighbor with some things she needs done in her shelter and that he expects it to be a quick job.

When he joins the army, he's put in charge of operating one of the anti-aircraft guns - directing his fellow soldiers and being the one to manually operate the machine itself.

Now that I think I've covered every other Billy feel, I have to talk about... the worst one. The saddest one. His death. /:

I don't know how to say this without sounding like a complete [Michael Gavey voice] loooser, but I can't really think about Billy and his story in this show for too long without... crying? Oof.

I think that's a testament to just how well written his storyline was in this show. They make you care so fucking much about this sweet, innocent, pure-hearted, good to a fault, daft, brave young man so much that, when he dies in the Blitz, it really fucking hurts.

I swear, thinking about Billy Taylor deals psychic damage to me every time.

And I think that, part of the reason that Billy's death hurts so much is because of how it's shown to us. We all know the famous orange scene between Billy and Kate so I'm sorry for ruining it by making it sad, lol. But that scene ends with Kate telling Billy that she'll meet him the next morning to share the orange with him. So when morning comes and the hotel staff are arriving and see Kate waiting impatiently for "someone" who hasn't arrived, your heart fucking sinks immediately.

They don't even tell us about Billy's death by showing Peggy learning of the news. We're told through Kate's POV. He doesn't show up to their meeting in the morning and, when she arrives for her shift, the staff has been gathered around by the general manager. Only then do we learn that Billy was killed by a parachute mine the night before. And we follow Kate to the same closet where Billy gave her the orange, where she's sobbing and cradling the fruit in her hands.

But what's even sadder is that Billy remains a presence throughout the rest of the show. You, as the viewer, grieve him alongside not only his family, but also the people who knew him and worked with him.

When the hotel loses power during a bombing one night and the general manager and head concierge are trying to fix the generator, they're lost for what to do and even lost for words because Billy was the one who always handled the generator. They end up fixing the thing by taking a wrench and banging the side of it because "That's what Billy used to do." And it works. The generator turns back on thanks to Billy. Thanks to the memory of him. And the concierge look up and says, "Clever lad," as though Billy can hear him.

Of course, Peggy spends the rest of the season grappling with the loss of Billy, too. The other characters mention more than once that she's "talking about Billy as though he's still here" and that it's worrying them. Eventually, the general manager sits down with her and she says that she does know he's gone but that it's so hard to believe because she wants to think that he could just walk through the door at any moment.

But, oh my god, the saddest moment of the show for me... is the moment when Peggy is walking through the hallway in the staff area of the hotel and she sees one of the bellboys walking towards her. He has his head down so his face is in shadow but he's about the same height as Billy... and you can see in Peggy's face that she's allowing herself - just for that one moment - to imagine that it's Billy. To let herself think that he's still alive. You're watching her process the scene before her and seeing her think, "Could it be him?" for those few seconds... until she sees the bellboy's face. And, oh my god, it absolutely wrecks me every single time.

Billy's death is the reason that Peggy gives up the one thing she has left - Dora - and sends her away to the countryside along with the other children who are being evacuated from London. Because she can't bear the thought of losing her last living child.

Billy is the character who shows the audience how cruel and unforgiving the war is. That it can take anyone, no matter how sweet and kind and young and good the person is.

And it illustrates the enormity of the chasm they leave behind.

Billy's loss is felt in everyone, from his family to the people he worked with to the girl he had a crush on. AND IT'S FELT IN ME, TOO, GODDAMN

This was so long and I may not have even touched upon all of my feels but thanks for coming to my Billy Taylor TED Talk. I fucking love him. The writers did an amazing job writing him. 10/10, no notes whatsoever. I cry every single time.

He's such an underrated Ewan character and, I know I haven't mentioned it much, but Ewan's portrayal of him is flawless. He's perfect at capturing all the silliness, daftness, and earnestness that makes up our sweet little Billy!

Tl;dr - Everyone should love Billy Taylor!

Aaaand here's another gif of our sweet boy to end this massive post:

[court-jobi]

Sneak Peek: Just Be Gentle pt 2

Gif credit by @javier-pena

I am SO delayed in this, but WIP Weekend it is! Recommended by the lovely @djarins-cyare, thanks friend!

I have not visited my drafts folder in sooo long, but I'm coming out of an unintentional writing hiatus and have fresh motivation to open the ole lappytop back up for a little sample to share. Part 1 of this fic was much beloved by yall apparently, so it continues here!

Pairing: Paz Vizsla x reader

Words: 1.9K (for now)

For my Star Wars | Mandalorian Masterlist, check it out here!

Paz watched the scene before him unfold; the heat of compassion bloomed in the gut like stoking a fire…

Din Djarin swore on the deed of his ship that he wasn’t exaggerating. He placed a flag solidly in her camp, and would go to arms for her as a returned gesture of loyalty. From that first meeting when the Hunter came back through the alcove to Nevarro’s covert, he spoke on his companion’s competence on several fronts. Namely, in all the ways that resonated with his people: creative thinking, handy know-how, and something more: empathy- a gift not to be ignored when it came to caring for others -himself included- in moments of high stress. 

He praised her talents ‘all across the board’, citing moments in their brief stint together on the Razor Crest as testimony to his Mandalorian clan for her to remain there in shelter– to be the exception to their rules regarding outsiders. Aruetti. 

A surprise to none, Paz Vizsla deemed that it would be up to him to judge such loyalties for himself; as a man more inclined to view actions as proof rather than words. 

But then he met her. Every bit of what Djarin said was true. Better yet, she proved every assumption of his wrong: allowed her to take him by the crook of his arm, surrendered her best vote of confidence, and let him lead. Acquiesced to his strength, protected it, and encouraged him at every turn. Saved him the first of her meals, the best of her scavenged findings. Took to tending to his wounds herself, because he wasn’t gentle enough to do so on his own.

A few weeks have passed since that day, but his fondness for her didn’t wane like the moon’s phases did. Paz Vizsla made it his mission from that moment forward to carry an extra ounce of gentleness, just for her. 

Then, the refugees came pouring in. Her arrival couldn't have been timed more perfectly, Paz thought; he’d only begun to see the full measure of little Song’s magic the moment he saw her skills at work. 

A smaller covert made a quick exit and raced to safety after a raid depleted their stores a few systems over. There had been some rumors of their hunter clans taking the bait of Guild membership in order to make ends meet, as they’d seen in Djarin’s success. The Way instilled a sense of belonging wherever Mandalorians crossed paths, so merging on his covert’s territory for the upcoming season out of necessity was a given.

But now, in light of Nevarro’s storm season, it seems their numbers would be doubling indefinitely. The situation proved to be a strain and test of everyone’s flexibility and resilience, to keep everyone content and organized on such short notice… but with a Vizsla as Alorad, they flourished with the change in plans and watched on as Paz steeled himself against Fear, and made everything suitable. Supplies were rationed and rooms were stuffed to the brim, but they would make do.

While they may not have resources with them in tow, they more than made up for it by pulling their weight in preparation for the underground shelters. And that, would benefit all. 

Song made herself indispensable, true to what Djarin had said. Moreover, she did so with caring smiles and solemn assurances to the migrating Mandalorians -young and old- who felt very out of place. To those men who lost their way in the bustle and found themselves turned around in the tunnels, she would give quick pointers about where to go– and thanked them for their service to the clan, each and every one. 

Learning fast. Paz was grateful.

Upon nightfall, there was less commotion than normal. As the common spaces gradually funneled down, bedchambers were lit and sealed for the night. For the most part, it was the heads of families -adults- who went to rooms for the night as a chance to let down and get their heads on straight after such a sudden move. Surely not all slept right away, but took to tending to their armor and delving into their meditation practices.

 Meanwhile, their children under ten or so were sent off to the creche where they could be watched over. The community room was next to the medstations, and as kids are often ones to complain of very little bout of aches, pains, or simple snotty noses, it was the logical choice. 

Two crechemasters stayed in the spacious alcove of the Medbay annex overseeing the creche, as well as one of the resident tribe’s kitchen aides, a few men as guards near the entrance and supply doors… and a certain someone -with a voice like the Coming of Spring- that Paz Viszla could never refuse pausing for a minute to listen….

Clearly tugged by the soft spot within him, Paz volunteered to serve first watch over the children for their first night, which made their parents feel that much more assured of their protection. So with blankets pulled from every corner of spare storage, canvas mats laid this way and that, and with juvenile excitement despite the circumstances, the children all got to sleep and the staff interchanged periods of rest until all was quiet by the early waning hours of morning. Even the covert’s local young ones came to join this slumber party of sorts. For the sake of welcoming and strengthening bonds, the crechemasters allowed it. 

Right after the 0300 guards changed out, Paz heard it. Inside the alcoves inset bunks, one of the smallest boys -nearly four years old- was making a steady and increasing amount of noise, until he startled himself awake and clearly didn't know where he was. He was calling for his babuir in their native tongue; but by his aimless flailing about, it’s clear he’s looking for just about anyone bigger than him that might come to his cry for help.

Before Paz could overstep one of the sleeping children nearest him to respond, he caught the woman he'd know to know as the 'Songbird of the Covert' slipping out of the window jumpseat like a sparrow off its perch, flying to the child's stuttering form up on the riser.

"Well hi honey, g'morning to you too~ Pretty early, isn't it?"

Seeing a soothing figure coming to his call, little threadbare arms immediately shot out and spoke brokenly in bits and pieces of a particular Sundari dialect. Basic wasn't his strong suit. Then again, it gave way to crying in minutes anyway, so his distress was clear and the language barrier mattered little.

"Hm?-- ohhh, aw c'mere bub..” the woman set the child on a hip as he clutched to her. She set them in a sway, “Yeah, you can stay up with me– I can always use some snuggles, too."

The toddler nuzzled in but by his whimpers, Song moved towards the open atrium with more room to walk around and hopefully not disturb the sleeping of any others. 

Paz met her there. She'd looked his way with a pitiful expression, traipsing about with the little one in her arms and keeping his little shoulders pressed in close.

"Bad dreams, I'd say," she murmured low to Paz, in Basic. "But I can't tell if anything else is wrong. Doesn’t feel too warm, not coughing. Seems trusting though, poor thing. " she shrugged, motioning to how easily the child was settling.

Through his careful watch of her across the room, he’d caught her sneaking the back of her hand to his forehead earlier in a move masked as just fixing his curls, but fortunately, he must not have been found feverish to warrant more worry. 

Paz came to bring a big, steady hand on the child's back. The kid turned his head from her neck to find the new Alorad tilting his helmet to match, and  made a big sniff to put on a brace face. Shy and no doubt aware of this elder’s importance, he snuck out a little wave back in acknowledgement.

"//Be at peace, young one. You're safe in the Reliable one's arms, that you are.//"

Whatever Paz said to this "adika" -as he seems to have called him- brought relief to the child, as he hugged her neck tighter and made himself comfortable again in her arms.

An amused whisper graced his ears as she looked up at him,

"What'd you say?"

"That he has nothing to worry about," Paz shared kindly. "He seems to like you."

 "I wouldn't think these kiddos would trust strangers so easily after what they've been through," she smoothed back the child’s hair gently- thankfully, his breathing evened out into sleepy sighs.

 "They've had quite the eventful last few days."

She kept humming away for a minute, trying to subconsciously lull the child the rest of the way. She looked absently over the nursery if other young ones, but Paz was captivated by her alone.

This instinct must have been what Djarin was talking about. She hadn't hesitated to jump right in, even though she must have been on the edge of sleep herself- if her state of dress was any hint. Shed opted for no outer protective layers for this reason perhaps- a source of comfort for the little ones, and though perhaps it was also to signify to them she was not a warrior or someone too formal for them to shy away from.

Finally seeing the child dozing back fully, Paz offered to take the child from her and set him back on his bunk above them.

 She let him, adjusting her loose cardigan back onto her shoulder. Shed opted for that over her cropped black body glove that acted as a breastband, and the loose comfy pants that honestly have fit Paz better, but she made do with her current wardrobe and didn't bother worrying about outfits too much.

Here, just over his shoulder, she watched the Big Blue tuck -yes, tuck- the child in. Stepping away only when he saw the child try to settle into his new sleep position did he step away and back towards her retreat to her watch corner.

"Teacher and carer? You're the dual package, Mr. Vizsla."

"I do what I can. It's not often I get to see our children be children- I would preserve that wonder in them if I could."

Childlike innocence: to hear the hardest-working, stoic soldier speak on such tender things was a thing of wonder itself. 

“I’ve only ever seen the little ones work their drills here– recitations, history lessons.” She looked about the room. “I haven’t seen kids this young in a year, much less so many crammed into one room.”

“Well, the rooming arrangement is common practice,” Paz explained, his trademark patience a soothing constant- even through the helmet, “You’ll find a nursery like this in every covert across the galaxy.”

Then, a more sobering thought, one that brought pity to the forefront of her mind:

“If– you weren’t all living down here, would they be going to a normal school? Making other friends? At least while they’re young?”

As if she expected any other answer, Paz’s reflex came through the form of his gentle whisper: “This is the Way.”

“That it is,” she firmed up a knowing smile. “There’s so many of them, going through so much newness at their age.”

Paz agrees, though knows no other way than the community that sleeps before them. To watch the woman’s empathy radiate from her being -those angel eyes- was to know the warmest ray of sunshine in the pit of winter. Such a calm presence… that’s what these youth need, after all. She’s exactly where she should be.

[the-force-awakens]

with it officially being disability pride month, I wanna talk about my favorite disabled headcanon, which is for the one and only, my most beloved Poe Dameron. Buckle up, because this is a long post.

I actually have a few different disability headcanons, most of which hold up to canon/are extrapolated from canon, so we'll keep that in mind as we go through. I expect this to have about...four parts total. Let's go!

Hard of Hearing

I think a good case can be made that Poe is hard of hearing, with a few instances that could point to this fact, primarily the very beginning of the Rise of Skywalker. Even though Chewie is sitting right beside Poe, Poe does not understand what Chewie has said, because his head is turned (at no other point does Poe have any problem understanding Chewbacca, so we know it is not a linguistics issue)

It's only when he turns towards Chewie and Chewie repeats what he said that Poe understands what was said. There's also the frankly adorable moment in The Last Jedi that's extremely easy to miss, because it's a far away shot and we just barely catch what Poe says:

BB-8 is beeping so fast trying to catch Poe up that Poe has to request that he slow down so Poe can understand him. Other possible evidence of him being HoH (beyond the comical amount of explosions he's constantly caught in) is that there are several shots where we see Poe carefully watching the lips of the person he's speaking to as they're talking, as if that might help him keep up.

And (I don't have a gif of this lmao I'm not giffing him getting hurt) when Poe gets shot in tros, @/dameronalone pointed out it could be evidence he didn't hear the approaching stormtroopers when he turned to look the other way. @/hermitmoss has also pointed to his line at the start of tfa while being snarky at Kylo as further possible evidence, about how it's hard to understand Ren with the voice modulator.

Essential Hand Tremor

Another fact pointed out to me by @/hermitmoss (thanks Braigwen) is that when Poe goes to cover Leia's hand with his own in the Last Jedi, we see that his hand is shaking:

I later noticed that this isn't the only time that we see Poe do this, we see it again in the Rise of Skywalker, where he cannot keep his blaster steady as Rey approaches the serpent at all.

These are the only two circumstances I can find of his hands trembling in the movies, though, and we know from plenty of other scenes that Poe ordinarily can keep a blaster extremely steady:

Autism & ADHD

Okay this one I don't consider to be a headcanon, lmfao. I genuinely believe that Poe was intentionally coded as autistic/ADHD by Oscar Isaac.

Oscar playing/coding Poe as something that is never explicitly confirmed by Disney is far from new: Poe is coded as a bisexual (or pansexual) man, because that's how Oscar Isaac saw Poe and chose to play him, and even if we weren't gifted with it being made explicit, it's still there in his performance.

If you happen to be a fan of Oscar Isaac, or just a Marvel and Star Wars fan both, you'll know he starred in the Disney+ series Moon Knight last year as the Moon Knight system (Steven Grant, Marc Spector, and Jake Lockley).

Shortly after the first episode premiered, Oscar Isaac revealed in an interview that while trying to figure out who Steven was as a person, he came up with the idea that the system be on the Autism Spectrum, and approached Marvel to see if he could include it into his performances, and it was green-lit.

The Lunar system is the best intentional autistic representation I've ever seen, there are so many things they do that are so minor that I doubt most people would ever consider to include, but they are things that me and my friends do.

And there's an overlap in how Oscar plays the various autistic habits and traits of the Lunar system in how he portrays Poe. Most notably, Poe and Marc have extremely similar meltdowns:

There's plenty more overlap (Poe does the same anxious stim Steven does, of rubbing the inside of his index finger with his thumb) but there's so much there I'm not sure where all to begin. I have gone more in depth on the various autistic traits Poe shows throughout the films in this gifset here, though.

I'll go ahead and include some of the moments we see him stimming, that I have evidence of:

(he also does this same hand thing when he starts to leave BB-8 and promises to come back.)

We also see him fidgeting anxiously with his hands during the briefing in the last jedi:

Poe also has a habit of running his tongue along his bottom lip while he's stressed or thinking something through. Here's three examples from across the trilogy (there are plenty more):

We're leaning a little closer into ADHD territory now. I don't really know how to explain why I think Poe is ADHD, to be quite honest, besides the fact that he just radiates ADHD energy to me and I heavily relate. This is a man who cannot stay still, and frequently talks with his hands:

But there's also the fact that Poe oftentimes has a tendency to not be able to fully see the potential of negative outcomes to his decisions - he sees point a to point b, and sometimes becomes laser focused on that. It's something I understand perfectly, because it's hard for me to pull away from something I've already fully committed to doing, and it's even more difficult sometimes for me to truly understand what (and what kind of) consequences my actions will have.

Other evidence of him being extremely autistic (and adhd) is just....that he makes autistic expressions?

Like this...is an autistic expression, I've seen my best friend make this exact fucking face before, I don't know how else to explain it.

Misc Thoughts

Aside from the above, it's pretty much canon that Poe has anxiety and depression — at the very least, Poe Dameron: Free Fall by Alex Segura certainly does not shy away from the suggestion, and is one of the most implicit portrayals we have of it outside the films — it is a series of catastrophizing his circumstances that leads Poe to joining Zorii for a little while as a teenager, following a joyride that ended in a crash that Poe explicitly wishes he had not survived.

The movies themselves also points to Poe having PTSD, partially through the writing but mostly due to the nuanced and thoughtful performance Oscar Isaac gives as Poe (that goes....woefully underappreciated, seriously he adds so much depth to every single scene as Poe, including the thread of anxiety in Poe's voice when Rey mentions Ren's ship is over Kijimi, or constantly looking out to make sure they're not being followed in tros).

(Good expanded material follows through on this, such as Poe's reluctance to discuss anything about what happened aboard the Finalizer in the Poe Dameron: Flight Log, and becoming irate at the thought of having to. He's an extremely traumatized man, and he certainly doesn't deserve to be thrown out of an airlock jfc and he isn't as arrogant as the fascist regime he is fighting, tbh he's not arrogant at all).

Conclusion

I believe that sums up the majority of my Poe is disabled thoughts, or at least the ones that I think holds up very well within the canon framework. He's extremely disabled and - in the case of being neurodivergent - this is critical to understanding him as a character, especially considering his arc ends up being focused on interdependence.

I wish all fellow disabled folk a happy pride month, and I wish all very ableds a very "please do not be ableist on this post". You will be blocked otherwise.

[for-a-longlongtime]

On Dieter, Goya's Black Paintings, and Pedro on Talk Art 

Alright y'all, it's Saturday evening, I have nothing better to do (I actually do but I don't feel like it), so welcome to my mini TED Talk about 'how to pay too much fucking attention to the Pedro cinematic universe'. None of this is new, and maybe everybody already knew about this, but I didn't... so here's a nerdy tangent courtesy of googling/wikipedia-ing.

I was reading a Dieter!fic (this one right here by @chaoticgeminate - go read her writing!) earlier today, which refers to the 'Saturn Devouring His Son' painting - that giant mural Dieter is working on in The Bubble:

(his brush isn't even touching the wall tho, ha)

The original 'Saturn' by Goya

The fic mentioned its part of 'The Black Paintings', so I got curious and started googling. I'm no art major or expert, so please allow me to just paraphraze the Wikipedia page. 'Saturn' is part of a group of 14 Goya paintings that are called Pinturas Negras/The Black Paintings. They "portray intense, haunting themes, reflective of both his fear of insanity and his bleak outlook on humanity" --this was late in Goya's life, and was connected to several illnesses he had experienced (and the fear of relapsing) and political turmoil in Spain at the time (post-Napolean war, changing Spanish government, etc.

Trivia fact 1: Goya actually made these paintings right on the walls of the Quinta del Sordo (so-called Deaf Man's villa) where he was staying -- so I love that Apatow had Dieter also paint right on the walls.

Trivia fact 2: while Goya was living in this villa, he actually became gravely ill (again) - not by a pandemic obviously, but it's hard to not link that loosely to the COVID period. He had never intended for these 'Black Paintings' to become public; "these paintings are as close to being hermetically private as any that have ever been produced in the history of Western art" (the murals were eventually transfered to canvas by other folks once he had moved out of the villa). Switching back to The Bubble -- I love how the tragic influence of Goya's illness(es) and art/things 'made at home away from the world, not intended for an audience' (so obviously, in a bubble) has that connection to the COVID experience and how many folks were suddenly homebound, along with the burden of illness in many ways (lord knows this all did a serious number on our mental health). In the movie, Dieter and the others do not want to go into isolation again, but that solitude is what eventually led him to painting on the walls in his room. This is not a 'grand discovery' of any kind, but I got a kick out of the parellels once I read up on it - and honestly makes me appreciate the movie a bit more, haha.

Not happy about another quarantine period.

Alright, more hyperfocusing after the cut:

Some googling led me to a post from last year by @nicolethered (gifs in this post are hers), and she included screencaps of the walls of Dieter's room (during that drug scene), which I hadn't even noticed while watching the movie. Upon taking a closer look, I noticed they're outtakes from other pieces of Goya's Black Paintings! I thought that was really cool, they sure worked on the details with that set (there's one more that's shown in a different shot but I can't exactly figure out which outtake that is):

First one is a mirror image from Two Old Men Eating Soup and the second one is basically Satan aka 'The Great He-Goat' from the Witches' Sabbath painting. Which IMO makes for fucking hilarious perfection a.k.a. trivia fact 3 -- because we all know about Dieter and his little emotional support goat, LOL. Excellent connection.

*insert sound bit from Hot Ones interview* : "Just let me love you!"

Anywaaay there's more. The Bubble was shot during Feb 22, 2021 to April 16, 2021, right? Pedro has spoken about how his input in shaping Dieter was mostly regarding his outfits (the Crocs, the robe, etc). But then I suddenly remember the Talk Art interview he had done in 2018, and how he namechecks 'The Dog' by Goya - and lo, guess which painting is actually part of the 14 Black Paintings? Yeap - the dog! So I checked the podcast and he was asked, 'if you could be any painting, what painting would you be?' by Russell. Here is the painting, and below it is what he said on Talk Art:

'The Drowning Dog' by Goya

"I think… it's a Goya. Yeah, old school. I think it's called 'Dog Buried in Sand' or something like that. It's so… I remember feeling it was such a visual representation of helplessness, in such a… come on, let's all admit that helplessness is a very recurring feeling for many of us, you know what I mean? When it comes to so many things. I guess… I was in Spain, in Madrid, and I was 20. And I went to the Goya museum. What's interesting about it is that the head of the dog is really quite small and sort of adorable, it looks like a stray mutt, and the painting - if I can remember it correctly - is very rectangular. There's so much above him, like the world just seems so big. It's quite incredible, isn't it? I know it's really sad, and sort of dark, and maybe I really like enjoy perceiving myself like..." (He gets interrupted by Russell, and then continues;) "Yeah, he's certainly not dying, it's sort of - it's a moment", (then interrupts himself with;) "Maybe he's totally dying, there's no way that dog is getting out of that. That dog is SO fucked. Anyway, that's the painting that represents my life". (All three of them burst out into laughing.)

If you're still reading this - I am impressed with your dedication to my silly little post, haha. Anyway, I just thought it was so striking that there basically is a straight line from the painting he mentioned in Talk Art to what Dieter is painting in the Bubble. Makes me wonder if perhaps he - or even Russell/Robert - had any input in that part of Dieter's backstory.

Thank you for attending my TED Talk on artistic analysis of Dieter Bravo during COVID, we now resume your regularly scheduled program for Saturday night. 🤪

(Have I been smoking because a local dispensary actually had 'Mando' bud? I sure as fuck have and I blame that for this post.)

[the-lone-writer94]

Unholy

Soldier Boy x Original Character (Female)

Summary: Reimagined story based on the motel scene in the Herogasm episode. Whilst Soldier Boy is adjusting to being back, he is currently holed up in a motel as he awaits for Butcher and Hugie. However, something comes up and Butcher needs someone to watch Soldier Boy. Which comes in Jessica, she’s a private investigator, she’s hot-tempered and tough, will she and Soldier Boy be able to be in the same room as each other? Because even she can’t deny that Soldier Boy is hot.

Age rating: 18+ Mature (sexual content, slight misogynistic remarks)

Word count: 2,803

Note: Gif credit goes to justjensenanddean on Tumblr

Jessica ignored the vibrations that were coming out from her leather messenger bag. She had been crouched behind a bush for three hours now, her camera aimed at the cheating asshole she had been tailing for the past week now. The sooner she got these photos, she could collect her payment which would hold her over until next month.

She shook her head as she lowered herself towards the viewfinder. Her phone stopped vibrating, and she exhaled. Only for it to continue vibrating again, which was enough for her to tear the camera away as she set it to the side. Angrily, she tore away the flap of her messenger bag as she dug out her phone.

“What?” She said angrily into the phone.

“Jessica, love,” the voice said.

Immediately, she recognized the voice to belong to Billy Butcher. She had crossed paths with him several years ago when Butcher wanted her to look into his wife’s dissapearance. Then, she had never heard from him again.

“Butcher,” Jessica responded.

“It’s been a while, but I got a little proposition for you,” he began.

“What is it?” She asked with curiosity.

“Well, I’m caught up with something at the moment but could you help me check up on someone. Nothing much, just bring him some grub and make sure he doesn’t do nothin’ stupid for a couple of hours until I get back.” He explained.

Jessica shrugged. “Sure, sounds easy.”

“I’ll message you the address and the list of things he wants,” Butcher said, and then added, “oh, and by the way- it’s Soldier Boy. Alright, speak to you later.”

“Woah, wait, what! Butcher, I swear to God, if you hang out I’ll hunt you down and rip your fucking balls off!” Jessica threatened. “Did you just say it’s the fucking Soldier Boy? But he’s dead?”

Butcher laughed nervously. “Turns out he’s not so dead- now, look. I know it’s a lot to ask… but we kinda need him. I can’t quite get into it at the moment, but I promise to fill you in later.”

Jessica exhaled. “Wow, I mean it’s not everyday you hear that a Supe that’s suppoedsly been dead since the ‘80s is alive and kicking.”

“So, will you do it?”

Jessica pondered the thought for several moments. After all, even she was curious as to what the story was regarding Soldier Boy.

“Yeah, whatever.” Jessica responded.

“I owe you big time,” Butcher said, and then cleared his throat, “listen, try not to listen to what Soldier Boy says.”

“What do you mean?”

“Basically everything that comes out of that wanker’s mouth makes you want to gut punch him. Just try not to hit him… we kind of need him at the moment. And I know you’ve got that mean right hook.”

Jessica released a low chuckle. “I’ll try, but I can’t promise anything.”

---------------------------------------

Jessica pulled up in the parking lot of the motel. According to Butcher’s list, Soldier Boy had requested for a bottle of whiskey, burgers and fries, and a bottle of ‘Bennies’. She grabbed the plastic bag full of stuff, and removed herself from her Impala, before stalking up the stairs. Her eyes scanned the numbers on the rows of doors before her, she paused and her fist connected against the door.

Almost immediately, the door swung open and she was greeted by who she immediately recognized was Soldier Boy. For a split second she had forgotten that he was a Supe, she didn’t know why she had half expected him to be in his fighting gear. Instead, he was wearing an unbuttoned blue Giants shirt, with a white vest underneath paired with gray sweatpants and white sneakers.

She watched as Soldier Boy’s eyes looked her up and down. Jessica wore her leather jacket, paired with a tight white tank top and a pair of leather pants with a studded belt draped across her waist, and a six inch platform boots. A smirk formed on Soldier Boy’s face as he leaned against the door frame.

“Well, aren’t you a pretty little thing.” He said. “And, I bet your name is just as nice as that figure.”

Jessica’s eyes narrowed. “The name’s Jessica, and Butcher sent me. So don’t get any ideas.”

“You know, you’ll look even better if you wore a little dress.” He commented.

Jessica’s brows furrowed. “Wow, Butcher was right. I do want to punch you in the face.” She said, then stepped over the threshold and shoved Soldier Boy aside. “I got the stuff you requested.” She announced and slammed the bag onto the table.

“Assertive type… I kinda like that.”

Jessica ignored his remark, as she took off her leather jacket and proceeded towards the couch in the corner of the room.

Soldier Boy had immediately helped himself towards the whiskey. He downed half the bottle in one go and exhaled before slamming it down, taking several bites of his burger. His eyes widneded as he picked up the bottle of pills.

“Oh, I’ve missed Bennies.” He said, with a huge smile painted across his face. He dumped several pills onto the table, drew his knife and crushed the pills with the handle. Before lowering his head down and snorting the powder.

Jessica watched him. She couldn’t deny that she was curious about the famous Soldier Boy, after all, it was the reason why she even agreed to this. She also remembered reading somewhere that his name was Ben, but the idea of calling him that just seemed odd.

All of a sudden, a series of chiming sounds emerged from Jessica’s pocket in her leather jacket.

Soldier Boy immediately turned his head. “What was that?” He questioned, almost leaping out from his chair.

“It’s just my phone.” She answered, as she reached for her leather jacket.

Soldier Boy’s eyes narrowed. “You can’t fit in a phone in there?” Jessica drew out her phone and raised it to him. “That’s a phone?” He cocked his head to the side, “where’s the cord?”

Jessica’s phone continued to chime as she groaned and placed it onto silent. “It’s just my ex-girlfriend, she’s driving me crazy.”

“I knew you were a lesbo the way you’re dressed.” He commented.

Jessica’s eyes narrowed. “You know you can’t say stuff like that anymore… and not that it’s any of your business but I’m bisexual.”

Soldier Boy shrugged as he continued to eat his burger. All of a sudden, Jessica stood up and stepped towards him. She grabbed the bottle of whiskey and chugged it down, then slammed it down.

“If I’m gonna have to spend the next several hours with you, I can’t be sober.” She said.

“I’m a pleasure to be around.”

Jessica opened her mouth and then closed it again. “The only reason why I haven’t put my fucking fist in your face is because of Butcher.”

“You’ve got a mouth on you. I wonder what else it can do.” He smirked.

Jessica scoffed. “Wouldn’t you want to know.”

Whilst Soldier Boy tended to favor older women, still, he couldn’t resist that sweet tight ass before him. He had also been kept frozen for so long that he felt the urges brewing beneath him.

-------------------------------------------

Several moments had passed, and Soldier Boy had found himself on the couch seated just a few paces away from her. His eyes glued to the television set, as he watched the images flash before him belonging to a world that he didn’t know anymore.

Jessica rested her head on her hand, she had long ago dissociated. Occassionally taking swigs from the whiskey bottle she shared with Soldier Boy, as he would suddenly have an outburst of an inapporirate comment. Her vision began to blur and her head felt heavy, the poison slowly taking over her and clouding her judgement. The problem was whenever Jessica was drunk, she was horny.

Jessica occassionaly stole glances at Soldier Boy, still couldn’t quite believe that she was sitting beside him. When Soldier Boy had suppoedsly died in 1984, Jessica was only a child, and having grown up in the ‘90s, she had often come across Soldier Boy’s movies and then when she had become a teenager, she would often fantasize about him, whilst also fantasizing about Joan Jett. Sometimes, the two would overlap.  

How she so wanted for her hands to brush across his musclar chest, for his hands to be wrapped around her wrists pinning her down and belonging to him.

Suddenly, she blushed at the memories and crossed her legs together, as she tried to focus her attention onto something else.

Soldier Boy made another remark, as Jessica’s gaze turned to him, it was enough for her to break out of her love spell that possessed over her.

“Maybe we should stay quiet.” She suggested.

Soldier Boy cleared his throat. “You know I can hear your heartbeat. It’s beating fast,” he said and turned to her, “your palms are sweaty. You’re nervous, and if this were any other situation I’d say you’re hiding something. But, with the way you’re crossing your legs and tensing, it can only mean one thing.” He explained, and then winked.

Jessica swallowed the lump in her throat. “Yeah, well you got me- I find you attractive.”

“The ladies always do.”

Jessica reached for the bottle of whiskey and chugged it. She’d slept with plenty of people, but for some reason in the presence of Soldier Boy she suddenly felt as if she were that shy teenager again. Jessica stepped in front of him, as she lowered herself down and straddled him. Soldier Boy smirked, his hands rested on her ass as he squeezed it.

“I do like this tight little ass.” He said.

Jessica wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his. His beard tickled her, and her fingers found its way knotted into his hair. Jessica parted her lips, and Soldier Boy slipped his tongue inside of her mouth.

Jessica moved her hips back and forth as she grinded against Soldier Boy, almost immediately she felt the bulge form in his pants. Her breathing quickened, as she felt Soldier Boy’s hands grip down on her ass harder.

Jessica drew back.

“Well let’s see what else that mouth can do?” Soldier Boy smirked.

“Not so fast,” Jessica scoffed, she closed the gap between them. Her fingers traced across his jawline, as she rested her fingers on his chin tilting his head up. “I want to see what your mouth can do first.”

Soldier Boy shook his head and chuckled. “Listen, sweetheart- I don’t go down.”

“Stop with your macho bullshit,” Jessica said and removed herself off from him.

“I’ll fingerfuck you, maybe flick that bean, diddle that skittle-” he said.

Jessica shook her head. “Oh my god, please stop. Why does everything that comes out of your mouth sound ten times grosser than it actually does?”

“Thank you.” Soldier Boy smirked.

“Dude, it’s not a compliment.” She said, before she closed the gap between them. Soldier Boy towered over her, as her hand traced his chest, caressing down his body. Her hand hovered over his crotch, as she rested it over his bulge before removing it away. “Hmm-”

Soldier Boy watched her like a hawk, before he gave in. “Alright, but it doesn’t leave this room.”

Jessica smirked, she hooked her finger into the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer towards her. “Welcome to the 21st century. Now, on your knees, soldier.” She purred.

Soldier Boy knelt before her, he stared up at her through his eyelashes. He hurriedly undid her belt, before unzipping it and pulling down her pants. His fingers hooked into the waistband of her panties lingering for several seconds before yanking them off.

He guided her legs apart, and Jessica held in her breath for a mere second. She felt his fingers gently caressing the inside of her leg as he drew them higher. And then, he lowered his head between her legs, and planted a trail of kisses along her inner thigh, his beard tickled her along the way.

Soldier Boy pressed his hand against her entrance, and went in circular motions. Immediately Jessica moaned, and ran her fingers through his hair, she pulled onto it. She quivered beneath his touch, as she felt Soldier Boy’s fingers enter her. He began in slow movements, before he began thrusting hard and fast.

Jessica moaned, and grew wetter between her legs. Then, Soldier Boy paused, pulling his fingers out.

And then, she felt Soldier Boy’s mouth on her. His wet tongue glided along her clit, she pulled onto his hair harder, pressing his head down onto her.

Soldier Boy edged forward, both his hand planted onto Jessica’s ass as he squeezed down onto her butt cheeks, continuing to eat her out.

Jessica moaned louder, as she quivered, when Soldier Boy drew back. He looked up at her, his mouth stained with her wetness, as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“You don’t get to come yet darling.” He smirked, and removed himself from the ground and stood up, towering over her. “Take off your top.” He ordered.

She did as told.

Soldier Boy exhaled deeply at the sight of her naked body. It had obviously been a very long time since he had been with a woman, although he clearly remembered how to pleasure a woman. He extended his hands and cupped her breasts, pinching onto her hardened nipples.

Jessica’s hands were on Soldier Boy’s as she tugged at his shirt, pulling them off. Her hands caressed his broad shoulders, and then across his muscular chest. It had been exactly as she had envisioned it when she had fantasized about him.

She closed the gap between them, leaving a trail of kisses along his chest and then down his body. Jessica knelt in front of him, pulling down his gray sweatpants.

His cock was already hard, as Jessica’s hand rounded the base of his cock. She lowered her head, and opened her mouth as her tongue traced along the head of his cock, before filling her mouth with his entire length.

Soldier Boy moaned, he grabbed a fistful of Jessica’s hair pressing down her head. Jessica continued to suck on him, then with her other hand she cupped his balls, which excited him.

“Fuck yes.” He moaned between gritted teeth.

Soldier Boy continued to press Jessica’s head down as she bobbed up and down, her mouth now drenched in his precum. His thrusted his hips, as his slammed his cock repeatedly in her mouth. He heard her muffled moans. "You like that, don't you?" He said, as he threw his head back.

Then, he paused and pulled away, as he tilted her head up towards him, his thumb brushed over her wet lips.

He bent down as he hoisted her up from her hips, her legs immediately wrapped around his waist. He pressed Jessica against the wall, as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her lips against his.

“Fuck me.” She moaned.

Slowly, she felt him enter inside of her. Knowing that it perhaps wasn’t wise to not use protection.

Soldier Boy grunted, as he felt her clench around him. “Yes, this tight little pussy.”

He began to thrust inside of her, each time he did so his thrust grew harder and faster, meanwhile Jessica’s moans grew louder.

“Yes, fuck me, harder.” She moaned.

Soldier Boy’s gripped on her waist grew firm, as he held her into place. He felt her wetness increase around him, as he continued to thrust hard and fast. “Your tight little cunt is going to be swore once I’m done fucking you.” He said, as he raised one hand and wrapped it around Jessica’s neck.

Jessica closed her eyes, as she continued to feel Soldier Boy’s cock repeatedly slam inside of her. She bit her lower lip, as she felt herself close to orgasm.

Soldier Boy grunted, he slammed his fist into the wall and then buried his face into Jessica’s neck. “Fuck. I’m about to come.” He groaned.

Jessica quivered, “it’s fine, shoot your load inside me.” She said in a breathless voice.

Soldier Boy’s gaze met with Jessica’s. He grunted, as he finally released, pumped his load inside of her. They both panted as they tried to catch their breath.

---------------------------------------------

After they had cleaned themselves up, Jessica still couldn’t quite believe what had just happened. She threw on her jacket, and had checked her messages knowing that Butcher was close. She figured, she would try to slip out of the motel before they saw her.

It wasn’t that she was ashamed of what she had done, but she’d rather not let the boys know she had just let Soldier Boy fuck her into oblivion.

Just when Jessica reached the door, she watched as it yanked wide open. Butcher and Hugie stood by the threshold, their gazes jumped from Jessica’s messy hair to Soldier Boy’s dishelved clothing.

Butcher’s eyes narrowed. “Everything alright?” He proceeded with caution.

“Yeah,” Jessica responded nervously, “why wouldn’t it be?” she stepped over the threshold of the door.

Soldier Boy followed her on her heels, as his hand smacked her ass. “Come back later, sweetheart.”