#//BONELY'S FEELINGS TOWARD JOURNEY IN A NUTSHELL

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

Sun Myung Moon said the mind must subjugate the body. It seems he had no idea of the science or biology.

The vagus nerve (Wellcome Library)

Both physical and mental health are real concerns for many former members. Can HWDYKYM signpost some useful resources?

Moon said the mind must subjugate the body. It seems he had no idea of the science or biology of the human body. The mind and body are deeply connected. The vagus nerve connects the brain to the gut and information flows both ways. Gut health affects your mood. Stress affects your gut.

“The vagus nerve has been described as “largely responsible for the mind-body connection,” for its role as a mediator between thinking and feeling”

We Are Built To Be Kind (4 minute video) refers to the vagus nerve Professor Dacher Keltner, University of California Berkeley psychologist and Faculty Director of the Greater Good Science Center

Moon was primarily concerned about extracting maximum effort from members towards raising money and witnessing for new members to make more money or to replace burnt-out MFTers. The well-being of members was a lesser issue to Moon during the endless multi-year courses until the Kingdom of Heaven miraculously appeared on earth in 1967, 1981, 2000, 2013, 2020 or whenever. The treadmill never ends.

How can former members of a high demand group heal themselves? It is not just a case of knowing the (sometimes hidden) crimes and abuses of the Moon organizations – sexual abuse of many women by Sun Myung Moon himself, human trafficking, financial exploitation, dangerous work conditions, sleep deprivation, and the rest of a long list. There is plenty of information available.

Many members suffered mental and psychological abuse. Not all. It all depended on where a member was on the planet and during what time period. MFT in the US from the 1970s could be really harsh. A mission in PR or the arts might have been a lot easier during the same time period. There has never been much mercy for the Japanese. Their never-ending mission is to provide $billions plus members, for the worldwide “providence.” Many former Japanese members suffer in silence.

One point is that some members suffered more harm to their bodies than psychological harm. Some died on their missions – but many suffered physical injuries or other long term damage to their health from the gruelling MFT regime or from accidents or from toxic fumes while building hundreds of boats. Some sisters were raped – probably more than is known about.

Members of a certain age may be facing dementia. Elder Korean and other members have already died after suffering dementia – Won-pok Choi and apparently Myung-hee Kim (mother of Hee-jin Moon) are two examples.

Exercise and good nutrition can help prevent or delay the onset of dementia. Gut health is linked to Parkinsons disease. There may well be a link between long periods of poor nutrition in a person’s twenties and the earlier onset of dementia decades later.

Millions of people in the US suffer from vitamin D deficiency during the winter months. It is called the “sunshine vitamin.” A lack of it can cause fatigue, mood changes, bone loss, muscle cramps, etc. This can easily be tackled by taking good vitamin D supplements – which may enhance a person’s body’s ability to deal with the coronavirus. Please check the facts with a medical professional.

Many first and second gen suffer from anxiety, stress and depression, etc., from the varying levels of abuse which they may have experienced. Support may be appreciated.

Religious Trauma Syndrome is real. LINK

Here is a link to a professional, Emma McAdam. Her resources may be helpful on the journey to physical and mental healing. Don’t forget, they are closely entwined – just as the vagus nerve connects the mind and body.

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Therapy In a Nutshell.  Mental Health Resources

Emma McAdam is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, "I have worked in various settings of change and growth since 2004. My experience includes juvenile corrections, adventure therapy programs, wilderness therapy programs, an eating disorder treatment center, a residential treatment center, and I currently work in an outpatient therapy clinic."

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Sleep Deprivation

Religious Trauma Syndrome – Marlene Winell

We Are Built To Be Kind (4 minute video) refers to the vagus nerve

I Now Suspect the Vagus Nerve Is the Key to Well-being

9 Fascinating Facts About the Vagus Nerve

[pawnshopsouls]

🌹 - Journey

Send 🌹 for gifs that describes our muse’s relationship. || Accepting!

[sasorikigai]

Redamancy + Fanaa + Metanoia ( any Hanryou verse p l z )

Lovely words to keep close to you: || @sonxflight || accepting 

Redamancy- the act of loving in return

Fanaa- the destruction of self, destroyed in love

Metanoia- the journey of changing one’s mind, heart, self, or way of life

▬▬ι═══════ﺤ 🔥 || He’d hoped one day, he would want something so deeply that brushing his fingers against it would seem a miracle. Desiring something enough that the effort he pours into it would feel weighty, like the steps up to paradise, and all the more valuable for it. Maybe something so grand tat it takes all his fears of losing his things - shallow things- and trades it for a carefree confidence that what he’s looking for is better. For too long, Hanzo Hasashi had thought his pain and his heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then the things that tormented him in agonizing trials and tribulations the most were the very things that connected him with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive beneath his vivified wings of encompassing might. 

How Hanzo had regretted his own experiences, to only arrest his own development. To deny his experience was to put a lie into the lips of his own life. A complete denial of the soul’s contentment and happiness, as his unkind mind further harbored heaviness full of remorse and regret, resting in his palms. But, it’s just a grain, the weight on his shoulders hosting his poison as his life won’t allow a simple escape, as conflagrations of hellfire - lest it never affects his being - will perpetuate his insides to draw ear-piercing shrieks and familiar bloody wails of apocalyptic noise as treasured life of what used to be before suffocated him, because of his echoic remorse and guilt. Silver lining had been ever-elusive as he wandered lost and helpless. As he asked himself if the reflection that stands before him, no, within him will once again fight back, or kneel, these krossroads have tired him; the battles, evermore senseless, the wars, endless, yet the Shirai Ryu Grandmaster would march on and on. 

And Samurai Jack had never froze; lest his mind gone astray, but never terrified, angered, forgetful, as proud, yet humble ageless warrior that had also lost so much, as the land of the Sakai would scream, as Ryou would shout, yell, and fight back, but all he could do is take more, resist and rebuttal against the thickening depths of Aku’s evil and fight against the echoes within the world, within his heart. Even amidst the resonating sounds of the suffered and slaughtered, it had taught him what cannot be taught. All he could do is to endlessly march forward, because that’s what the echoes mean. For living in a nutshell is opening up deaf ears and blind eyes for the reality, and becoming speechless for the honesty. Being a part of one’s own prison cell won’t make anyone go out and see, one wouldn’t be able to hear nor one would never understand. One should never be scared of the beauty, scared of the pain, even with shaky knees and weak arms, too small, too large, too thin, too thick, all those windows of the souls who can’t see their marionettes of own feelings and marionettes of own reality. 

All they would have is the present, which is the appropriate soil for the seeds they’re planting. And the grass will be greener where it will be watered. They will have to grow where it matters. They grew through them and though they both came out covered with deep wounds, they came out with stronger and simple souls. No matter how chalky dark sheath of the universe remained, also thick and impervious, Hanzo will learn to see that beyond the horizon, true beauty would lie in the proper endings, and that the peak of his life hadn’t come, and that its grandeur a rhapsody so overwhelming, so breathtaking will elicit such bright fire so consuming that he will lose all senses. So deep that to shake away from its grip would shatter his soul into arid rubble. He shouldn’t fear that a lifetime would relapse into mere moments, for Hanzo’s own life had bore like a most exquisite chimerical dream, lived with vivid sincerity than being helplessly forgotten. And Ryou had lived through the seemingly eons of moments, his heart still beating in hopelessness, as his unafraid courage had fueled the survivalist’s heart and trudged on, even when the future may have been an unknown. 

Living would always hurt; like an open wound. And the world would always have their duality present; with the softness of their embrace, while the vicious whiplashes of the Death’s unending testament to test beyond their human resilience and will, threatening to immobilize them quickly. Both had experienced failures, which taught them things success never could, and while their respective past haunts them the same, the past isn’t with them anymore 

Not only as the Shirai Ryu Grandmaster, but as a husband and a father and a General before that, he always has asked himself if he was ever good enough. He’s spent so many years asking the same questions repeatedly, so many unsaid thoughts running in his mind. So many sleepless nights collecting all the reasons why they chose to hurt him when his intention was to love his family and clan and accept them as his own. He still doesn’t know how his world turned from lightness to darkness, and he doesn’t know how he despises his past, just to let someone like Quan Chi stir his mind askew enough for him to have a second thought about life and completely alter him as if the blueprint of him had been resculpted anew. So many people have been running through his life, and he feels the need to sprint - into the future, away from the harrowing past, out from wherever he is. In truth, all he has to do is to sit down and reflect deeply to discover that after all, the whole cosmos had been right here within him. 

Hanzo would let himself allow to forgive himself in parts; for the past had been too heavy to deal with all in one day, or one moment, or one phase. He is allowed to forgive himself in parts until he feels whole again, and it had taken the two, the samurai’s entwining, encircling, quiet presence that had painted the impulse of destruction, ash, and bones to become a fuel amidst Hanzo Hasashi’s heart, which still remained a story of memory and forgiveness towards his being. For he would have recreated his own cause to fathom the stars, taking everything; all his soul, all his magnanimous love, all of him, consuming, to find unending hopes and dreams to be realized, to be entirely seen and noticed, not to be just admired and respected. Even beneath the inexplicable longing and love that still dwell in his reddened, demolished heart, the familiarity of his love that once colored him with trillions of hot-colored sunrises had taken a long while to return. 

Even an charred, blackened carapace of his being had memories, for his intrepid and indomitable spirits would lay their hands and leave fingerprints that ripple through time like a stone dropped in water, even when Scorpion’s downward spiral would leave fingerprints that ripple through distorted time like an imprint in the walls like atomic shadows everywhere he goes, the living presence of Hanzo Hasashi would overwrite behind his spectre counterpart, the the mirror of consciousness, the very sound of his soul’s song would ring in his heart. But Hanzo would ever discover the tranquil silence as the cave of self-realization would call even in times of desperation and despair. Even when Hanzo feels fatigued, overcome with either bone-deep guilt or agony or any terrifying negativity that always feels the same regardless of his mood, he could always count on Ryou to find the daybreak of silence even amidst the thickest impervious darkness. Beneath the rain falling through the leaves, or the dew creeping over the grass and making it silver, would serve as the healing power, and their combined power of communicating joy. 

The commotion of Hanzo Hasashi’s past may still stir him whole, but no longer, the mandibles turn into excruciating pain, as they become frothed hand pulling him under with devotion. As he drenches his veins in his beloved’s breathes, their stories of loss, overcoming death and self- flagellation become the serenading sunshine that would hide behind turbulent skies that once diverged into two roads will combine an exquisite and grandeur tale of their own. Now, such inexplicable longing and love of caressing one another in intimacy and the familiarity of sinking their fingers into the ridges and valleys of their musculatures as they would dream of their eyes on the horizon of lit distant stars, as their beauty will become both the most delicate and perdurable eternity. 

For their merged story tells a legend of love and beauty far beyond the known universe. Hardened warriors being able to offer gently soft, magnanimous kindness throughout the universe on the heels of sunrises, even when sunsets constituting the darkness galore across the scopes of their reality. The edge of their distance will always go beyond themselves, for the existence of life shall surely live as the silver lining and gold joinery of magnificent, luxuriant braids of breath, delightfully swarming, faithful and obedient, whether as to reconcile and mold their hearts in each other’s reverberating hands, as their love for one another will become a tapestry in the utmost precedence, even in silent poetry as their awakened allegiance and love will become the triumphant, the greatest conviction that will fill the darkness with silvery golden fields of justice and goodness.  ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ 🔥 ||

[heeydolan]

L A {G.D.} – Part 3

Summary: moving to LA her senior year, Y/N goes into this new journey with low exceptions. Surprisingly, the new school has tons of drama to keep her occupied from what she’s missing out on back home.

A/N: ok i know it took forever to post this but i have been looking for an apartment and all this other adult stuff that’s really been stressing me out so please, don’t hate me.

Warnings: N/A

WC: 2.5k

masterlist

After Grayson ran off last night, Ethan called me again, thanking me for telling his brother what I saw.

In no way do I feel like the hero Ethan is making me out to be though. From what I gathered with the way Grayson bolted like he did, telling him about Tara brought him pain. I hate thinking he’s in pain.

Walking into school this morning, I am very unsure on how the day is going to go. I mean hell, it’s the second day and there has already been enough drama to entertain me for a whole year. I assume that’s just LA in a nutshell, though.

By the time I’m in fourth period, I begin to worry about Grayson. Class is about to start and he isn’t in his assigned seat beside me.

“Good morning class.” Mr. Bennett greets us as the bell chimes throughout the halls.

In unison, we all reply with a simple good morning.

Halfway through class, I receive a text from Grayson.

Grayson Dolan

We need to talk asap.

Y/N

Kinda sitting in class like you should be. Where are you?

Grayson Dolan

Had to take care of something. Meet @ bathrooms on west hall in 5.

Without any questions, I do as he says. I get permission to leave class and head towards the bathrooms all in the 5-minute time frame Grayson asked of me.

Once I reach the bathrooms, I don’t see Grayson anywhere. As I’m scanning up and down the hall, a force pulls me into a janitors closet.

“What the hell, Gray?” I question when I realize it’s him.

“Y/N, I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have ran off like that. I know you were just trying to help and I’m sure you’ve been confused but I just– once you told me, I had to go end it with Tara and–”

“– you broke up with her?” For some reason, I wasn’t expecting him to cut things off with her so soon after I told him. Honestly, I don’t know if it even crossed my mind that they would break up at all. I just assumed he’d address the issue and it’d be worked out.

“Yeah.” He chuckles and scratches the back of his neck, “She’s with someone else. She doesn’t need me and frankly, I don’t need her.”

“And you couldn’t have told me that over text?”

“Well, I wanted to ask you something and it would be rude if I asked you over text.”

I fold my arms across my chest and raise an eyebrow, indicating for him to continue.

His hazel eyes glisten with hope in the dimmed light of the tiny room. “Y/N, would you go to dinner with me this Saturday night?”

“Like a...” I begin, unsure if I should say the word or not.

“Date? Yes, like a date.” He confirms.

During lunch, Tara and Sabrina sit at a separate table. At this point, I’m sure the whole school is aware of the breakup considering Tara’s sudden change in dining location.

Jordan ends up sitting with us and it seems as though him and Holly can’t stop flirting. How sweet.

Grayson and I give each other a couple glances but unless we speak conversation within the table, it doesn’t go any further than that.

After school, Holly gives me another ride home. I could just start driving my own car to school but I honestly despise driving. Also, LA traffic is the worst. I��d probably have a mental breakdown trying to maneuver through it. 

“So,” I turn down the radio, “Grayson asked me out on a date.”

“What?” Holly looks over at me shocked then quickly back at the road. “Grayson asked you out? And what did you say?”

“Well, since Tara isn’t in the picture anymore I figured it wasn’t a big deal so I said yes.”

As she turns on to my road, she sighs, “I hate to break it to you, but Tara will always be in the picture. I know Grayson is insanely attractive and no one in their right mind would turn him down but in reality, he’s stuck in this bubble with Tara that is never going to pop.”

All night, I go back in forth with what Holly told me. As much as I like Grayson, and given our history, everything in me wants to try with him. I mean, like I said, we have history. It could be different with me and the bubble really will be popped. But if it’s not, and I’m just a distraction until he gets back with Tara, I will be devastated. I had to disconnect myself from Grayson once before and it was hard. I really don’t know if I’d be able to do it again.

As much as I want to convince myself that Grayson and I have something special, I end up letting the cons outweigh the pros and I decide to just look out for my own heart and I back out of the date with Grayson.

Being the hypocrite I am, I do it over text. Of course I feel bad but I know I wouldn’t be able to do it in person.

I can picture it now: I’d tell him to meet me to talk, which seems to be a trend with us, I’d look into those beautiful hazel orbs and immediately forget what I had to say. Instead, my mind would wonder to the things we did 2 summers ago and I most likely wouldn’t be able stop myself from jumping his bones.

So, this simple text would have to do the trick.

It takes him a couple hours to respond, which freaks me out, but once he does, he questions me. I simply let him know it’s just too soon.

Agreeing, we leave it off with the mutual decision to not let this ruin our friendship.

Thank God he doesn’t hate me for bailing because I really don’t think I could deal with anymore drama this week.

When Saturday finally arrives, Holly and I decide to have a girl’s day and go shopping.

Part of me thinks she is using it as an excuse to see Jordan when she comes to pick me up. That’s fine with me, though. Jordan needs a girlfriend so maybe he’ll get disconnected from fortnite at 3 am and reconnected with a normal sleeping schedule.

With how fancy this house is, you’d think the walls would be thicker. We live in this huge place yet I still have a bedroom right next to his.

“What time are you going to be home– oh, hey Holly! Didn’t know you were coming over.” Jordan tries to play it cool as he walks into my room.

I laugh as I get my things together, “Shut up J, I told you she was coming to get me. As for when I’ll be home, I don’t know and I’m sure you don’t care.”

My brother’s face turns a nice shade of red as Holly and I walk past him towards her car.

“Hols, do you like this top? I think I might get it for the party on–” turning to face my friend who I thought was right beside me, I bump into a tall, blonde guy who has a smile to die for.

“–woah there, slow down now!” He chuckles, offering his hand as support as I stumble a little.

“I am so sorry!”

“Well, ‘so sorry’, that’s an odd name. I’m Ross.”

I can’t stop myself from giggling even though his joke was absolutely terrible. Good thing he’s cute.

“Actually, my name is Y/N.”

“That’s a pretty name for a pretty girl.” He flirts. Again I giggle even though this wasn’t meant as a joke. “Listen, I really gotta get going. I just ran in here to grab a present for my sister but do you think you would be up to going to dinner with me tonight?”

I slowly nod, giving him a soft smile. We exchange numbers then he’s on his way.

“Oh my gosh, Y/N!” Holly whisper yells as she walks up to me, her mouth basically hitting the floor. “Ross Bradley?”

“What? Is there something wrong with him, too?” I question, worried she was about to tell me some dark story about his past and how I shouldn’t even associate with him.

“No! He’s one of the hottest guys in school! Well, after the Dolans and your brother of course.”

“Ok, ew Hols.”

She laughs then continues telling me about him, “He’s on the lacrosse team, has connections with the owners of most of the bars downtown, and is so rich that his family could basically buy the state of California and make it their own country.”

I act as if his bank account fascinates me but in reality, it doesn’t.

After her quick over view of the guy who just asked me on a date, she jumps right back in to our earlier conversation about my least favorite subject: my brother.

Like a gentleman, Ross knocks on the front door, compliments me on my appearance, walks me to the car, and also opens the car door for me.

I’m quite surprised at his hospitality but one hundred percent impressed by it as well.

He takes me to one of the fanciest restaurants I’ve ever been to. I mentally thank Holly as she is the one who helped me pick out my outfit tonight. Without her, I’d be sticking out like a sore thumb.

As the host leads us to our table, I try to keep my head down because of how out of place I feel. Also, I feel as if I might fall in these heels so if I don’t watch where I’m going, it will be inevitable.

Even though my focus is on my feet and making sure I don’t wipe out, I still manage to catch the single pair of eye in the room that are watching me.

They belong to no one other than Grayson Dolan.

And who is he at this beautiful restaurant with?

Tara Rhodes.

He gives me an ‘I’m-sorry’ look but I break the eye contact.

Holly was right about the bubble and for the second time tonight, I mentally thank her.

I purposely sit with my back to Grayson so he doesn’t distract me from my date. Once I brush off the feeling that he’s staring holes into the back of my head, the dinner with Ross goes great. In attempt to impress my parents, he doesn’t want to keep me out too late, so he takes me home afterwards.

“I had a lot of fun with you tonight.” Ross says.

“I really enjoyed it, too.”

We stand there for another few seconds not saying a word. It’s obviously a little awkward until he finally breaks the silent by simply telling me goodnight. He pulls me into a hug then walks back to his car, only turning around once more to send me another smile.

I make my way inside, following the voices in the kitchen. Holly stayed and had a movie night with Jordan. Before I can reach them, there’s a knock on the front door.

I spin around and head back to the entrance, expecting to see Ross standing there with something I left in his car.

For the second time tonight, I am making eye contact with the guy who was not my date.

“Grayson,” I breathe, “w-what are you doing here?”

“I- uh- Jordan left his math book in my car so I brought it to him. I thought maybe he’d need it.” He scratches the back of his neck as he begins to realize how dumb he sounds.

“Oh yeah, he’s been devastated because he couldn’t study statistics on his Saturday night.” I laugh, grabbing the book from him.

“Really? I–”

“No Gray, not really.” I cut him off, unintentionally letting another giggle slip.

His face turns red, realizing how dumb he sounded again but something inside me can’t help but be even more attracted to him.

I walk outside with him, taking a seat on the top step of the front stoop. He is quick to follow and sits beside me.

“What’s on your mind?” He asks. I shrug my shoulders and look down at my feet.

The summer we met, Grayson and I never expected it to end. Our naive 16-year-old selves thought that those two months would last forever. In this moment right now, sitting beside him in our spot, I felt like I was back– like it never ended. 

But I wasn’t going to tell him that.

“Are you and Tara back together?” I quietly ask.

“Nah, we were just talking tonight.”

Nodding my head, I fumble with my thumbs. Knowing this is a nervous tick I have, Grayson grabs both of my hands and pulls my full attention to him.

“I just want you to know, I really was looking forward to our date.”

“I was too.” I whisper.

“Then why’d you back out?”

“I- I don’t know I just- I guess it’s just so obvious that you’re in this constant cycle with Tara that I don’t want to be caught in. I didn’t want to be your rebound and I didn’t want to get hurt when you went back to her.” I struggle to confess.

He simply nods, not arguing with what I’m saying. I simply watch him as he stands up. He turns to me before walking down the driveway in the direction of his house, “You look beautiful tonight by the way.”

As he disappears out of sight, I stand up to go inside. Just as I’m about to push the door open, a car pulls into the driveway.

Realizing its Ross coming back, my heart begins to race as he quickly gets out of the car and rushes up to me.

“There’s something I forgot to do.” He says. Grabbing my face and pulling me towards him. He connects our lips, kissing me like he wanted to before he left the first time.

If anyone was watching this, I’m sure it would look like a scene from a movie.

Out of breath, Grayson rounds the corner of the large hedge at the end of the driveway, taken aback with what was going on in front of him.

Little did Y/N know, it was like a scene in a movie. The genre being horror for Grayson.

He had come back to do the same thing to her, maybe convince her to give him a chance. But it was too late for him. She was already lip-locking with someone who is not him and as much as he wanted to run up to Ross and punch him square in the face, he knew he shouldn’t because she wasn’t his anymore.

Tags: @atlas-of-a-human-soul @agirlssfantasy @freewill-is-an-illusion @lexi-victoria

[douxreviews]

American Gods - ‘House on the Rock’ Review

"To be continued, in what some call the real world."

American Gods is back, and opens season two with the centerpiece location from the first half of the novel. Was it worth the wait? Yes. It was worth the wait.

I don't think that there's anyone who's watching this show who is unaware of just how long the wait was between seasons one and two. It's been just shy of two years since the corpse of Laura Moon walked out onto Easter's balcony and politely interrupted the opening ceremonies of God War I with a relatively polite request to speak to her husband. It wasn't precisely a cliffhanger, but it definitely was a tense situation which was waiting for some resolution.

Unfortunately, due to circumstances behind the scenes, they weren't able to pick up the scene where they left it, and had no choice but to paper over the join as best they could and continue with the larger story.

To quickly sum up the scene as we left it, Wednesday had convinced Easter to join the side of the old gods in his coming war. Media, Technical Boy, and Mr. World were present to witness her choice, and it forced Mr. World to finally accept the declaration of war; something he had previously been disinclined to do. As a result of these advancements in the god/war plot, Shadow found and declared his belief in all the gods around him. Or, alternately, as a result of Shadow finding and declaring his belief in the gods around him, those advancements in the god/war plot occurred. It depends on how you read the situation. And as those events simultaneously climaxed and/or caused one another, Laura and Mad Sweeney joined them on the lanai to deal with her marital problems.

Fade to black. End series one.

Series two picks up in the aftermath of those events, but only indirectly. As discussed at length in my previous review, one quarter of the actors present in the finale are no longer with the show, which means that we don't get to see how the immediate moments following the end of season one play out. To be fair, it's possible that they never would have picked up exactly where they left off. There's a school of thought that leans toward resolving cliffhangers by picking up somewhere unrelated and then winding your way back to explain what happened. Steven Moffat, as an example, is a big proponent of that technique. Maybe the plan was always to begin with Technical Boy frantically driving his limo away from the scene with the remnants of Mr. World in the back. Perhaps the only real difference is that Media would have been with them, if Gillian Anderson was still on the show.

In any case, they have two missing characters to account for, and I think they made a really good decision in the case of Media. Making her absence part of the plot turns a problem into a storytelling opportunity, and was a good call.  We find out pretty quickly that Media has gone missing after the finale, and Technical Boy's plotline is going to be looking for her on Mr. World's orders. That opens up a lot of storytelling possibilities, and it was a good solution to the problem. It is a little odd that we last saw all three of them together and perfectly fine, only to be told now that she somehow vanished, but it holds together, and they have plenty of time to give us more explanation as the search for her goes on.

Easter, on the other hand, merely gets a line of dialog later on from Mr. Nancy, stating that she's not going to participate anymore because she's mad about Wednesday running over her bunnies. That's kind of a cop out, but Easter's story was essentially told last episode, so it's not too great a loss to move on from her to other characters. If you're familiar with the novel, you know that Easter has one fairly significant plot function down the road, but at the pace the show is going that probably won't happen until season five or six, so there's plenty of time to either mend fences with Kristin Chenoweth or figure out another option before we get there. If we even get there, for that matter – serialized television has broken all of our hearts before, remember.

The somewhat utilitarian way that the show moved on from the season one climax is kind of indicative of a change of tone overall. It's not that there's less meat on the storytelling bone, but there is notably less fat on it. When we left them, Laura had just found out that Wednesday had her killed, Sweeney had revealed to her that it was him who actually did the task, and Laura was about to tell Shadow both of these facts. But we pick up with the four of them on a road trip together, so whatever happened they apparently worked that all out. What we do get is the map segue showing the trip to Wisconsin and while there's some admirably efficient dialog between them that reminds us of a couple of plot points that we might have forgotten over the hiatus and establishes a few character touches that are going to be relevant later, it seems pretty clear that the show is mostly interested in getting them to the big showpiece and isn't going to be delayed by a little thing like character conflict. Witness, for example, the way that Salim just walks into a scene with the Jinn with no lead in about his journey to Wisconsin, or how he found the Jinn inside the house. Neither of those things matter, the show just wants to get to their long awaited reunion.

Honestly, it mostly feels like after spending all of season one not getting to the House on the Rock, arguably the big showpiece of the setup phase of the novel, they were determined to make it happen in the season two opener as quickly and efficiently as possible. So while we finally get to meet Mr. World's network, and Mr. Town finally gets brought into things, the Black Briar Secret Government Safehouse and Country Club is clearly being sketched in quickly so that they exist by the end of the episode, when we need them to be responsible for a sniper attack.

All of this makes me suspect that my take on things behind the scenes was correct, and it came down to Fuller and Green wanting more of an anthology show and Gaiman wanting to focus more on the plot of the novel. Both of which viewpoints are totally valid, if that needs to be stated.

So, now that we've gotten to the big showpiece setting, how did they do with it? Well, the House on the Rock looks fantastic, as it would. They filmed at the house itself, which is a real location and exists pretty much exactly as described, if anyone hadn't already heard that. The carousel looked fantastic, and the realization of the council of gods inside Wednesday's head is beautiful and stuffed to the brim with nice little details like the way Zorya Vechernayaya has three faces when you focus on her and Anansi's spider eyes. They really needed to make that scene look amazing, and you can see the work on screen. Although there is just a little too much usage of smoke and sparks, which is usually a tell that there's a lot of compositing that they're trying to blend together. The diner scene afterwards is equally well presented, and actually more deserving of a shout out, as 20-30 people having a party at a restaurant is a nightmare brief as far as staging and filming goes.

That's really the episode in a nutshell. The things that needed to happen they did very, very well. It's just that there's very few instances of extraneous details outside of the big important things that needed to happen, and I think the show is just a little less rich for it. Of course this is only the first episode of the season, and premieres are notorious for that exact criticism, so we'll see how things develop.

Quotes:

Laura: "I still don’t understand how such a sweet old man can have so many enemies." Wednesday: "Oh, it’s perfectly simple, my dear. Jealousy. Unmitigated jealousy."

Laura: "Do you believe in mermaids now?" Shadow: "I don’t know what I believe in yet. I guess. I don’t know."

Jinn: "You’re here for the meeting?" Bilquis: "I wasn’t formally invited."

Mr. Nancy: "Mad Sweeney, is that you? Or is it Wednesday’s bullshit I smell."

Sweeney: "You sound like a man who’d fight to get back into those maggoty panties." Maggoty Panties is the name of my new punk band.

Bilquis: "I was old in the desert before they sacrificed the first horse to you. I will be heard. Unless you’re afraid?"

Mr. Nancy: "Apparently the houses in this area were built by some skinny white motherf**ker named Frank Lloyd Wright. Some say his evil twin brother built this one. Frank Lloyd Wrong."

Bits and Pieces:

-- I'm not 100% clear what Bilquis' goals at the meeting were. She's nominally working for the new gods, or at least seems to be, and she clearly knew about the sniper because she left the restaurant immediately before the shooting started. Is she a spy? Was she supposed to disrupt the meeting? That would explain her speech about the new gods being nice and giving her a new platform, but it didn't seem like her heart was in it.

-- It's very sad that Zorya Vechernayaya was shot and killed, but didn't we just see like three other gods killed in the same crossfire? Did we just not like the god of getting his face blown off as much?

-- It's intriguing that we were shown twice that gods can't identify one another as gods on sight. Wednesday might have been lying for reasons of his own when he claimed to think Salim was a god, but then Bilquis made the same mistake with Laura, so it looks like they genuinely can't tell. That surprised me. Neither Salim nor Laura took Winston Zedmore's advice on this issue.

-- I can't have been alone in momentarily believing that Anansi was about to launch into the story about the tiger's balls. Which I suspect was deliberate.

-- This week in Orlando Jones' Fabulous Outfit Watch: He was sporting a blue plaid number that was quite nice, but not quite as shiny and wonderful as the shiny cream number he was wearing while he did the tailoring a few episodes back. Again, I really, really hope that Orlando Jones is enjoying every second of his wardrobe.

-- As they got on the carousel, Mr. Nancy rides a lion, Wednesday appears to be atop a wolf, Shadow climbs on an eagle, and Bilquis mounts a pirate.

-- Mad Sweeney, after complaining repeatedly about Laura having his luck, got lucky when he slipped in a patch of blood and avoided getting shot. Emily Browning's eye roll when the bullet hit her not-previously-damaged shoulder was priceless.

-- According to the fortune teller booth, Shadow's lucky number is none and his lucky color is dead. Man, just when you thought fortune teller booths couldn't be creepier.

-- For all his irritation that Salim had followed him, the Jinn immediately moved to protect him when the bullets started flying. That was sweet.

A solid season opener that manfully took the occasionally wandering larger plotline from season one and firmly put it on a more defined course. I just hope that less exploration of the corners of the novel's universe doesn't end up being no exploration of the corners of the novel's universe. Oh, and I already miss Fuller's trademark screeching strings and horns approach to incidental music. Hope that makes a return as well.

Three out of four creepy fortune telling mannequins.

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.

[ohstardust]

Rose Coloured Boy - [4/11]

Summary: Sebastian Stan & Eleanor Egan spent the better part of six years being the European outcasts of Rockland Country Day School. Despite growing through their teens as best friends, college soon broke down their friendship until nothing remained. Ten years later, a turn of events in a city as large as New York City, finds them running in the same social circles once again with nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide. Pairing: Sebastian Stan x OFC Word Count: 3.5k Masterlist / Story Background / Playlist / AO3   A/N: Apologies for how long it’s taken to post this, it’s been sat in my drafts for a few weeks but part 5 isn’t quite finished and I vowed I wouldn’t post this until it was. I’m planning to upload a timeline to accompany this series too which will be updated after each part to allow the readers to keep up with what has happened so far.  Part 3 // Part 5

Sebastian had often dwelled on the ‘non-committal’ ending to his friendship with Eleanor in the years that followed their high school graduation that summer of ’01. He refers to it as non-committal simply because it faded and fizzled, like the flickering flame reaching the end of a match or the disintegration of a sunset haze into the night air. It hadn’t seemed as life changing back then, at least not on a scale either of them would have anticipated, he hadn’t thought much about her not being by his side during his college graduation or when he got his first television gig. He’d moved on and made new friends by then despite the friendship they’d both carried with them through their teens.

The fade just happened with dwindling phone calls and visits until suddenly there was nothing left but hazy teenage memories that Sebastian thought of too often in his late twenties.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* 2001 By the time October had rolled around, Sebastian had settled in very well at Rutgers University; he was full of energy, wide eyed eagerness and the prospective thrill of an opportunity to study in London during his degree. Being surrounded by so many likeminded people, striving for the same goals him, had been far less nerve-wracking and competitive than he’d anticipated, and far more exhilarating and stimulating. In a nutshell, Sebastian was happy, more than happy. He’d checked in with Eleanor biweekly since the start of the semester, not wanting to miss a detail of her own college experience, despite the small distance separating them both. They may have been living in the same state, the same city for that matter, but it may as well have been the other side of the country for the lack of free time they both seemed to have. It had been a conscious decision for Sebastian to remain living in New York during his college studies, the commute to New Jersey was small enough for him to not have to leave the state behind, he wanted to experience life in the thick of the city, the place he knew he was likely to get his big break. If he ever did that is. The moment they’d both received their acceptance letters, they’d begun weighing up the pro’s and con’s of living together, we’d get to see each other more often and spend more time together versus I don’t want you to grow sick of me or to cause any fights. We don’t have to live with someone we don’t know versus it might do us good to know more people and make more friends. We can study together and run lines without having to leave our own apartment versus I won’t be able to look you in the eye the mornings after you have sex. The prospect of sharing their college experience together, living under the same room, behaving like they were in some mediocre sitcom, sounded fun, of course it did, what best friends didn’t want to live together? But they’d spent the better part of the last five years in each other’s pockets, eating lunch, studying, making friends with the same peers, attending acting camp. College was a time for new experiences, new friends, new traditions, and neither of them were prepared to put their own wants, and needs, above doing what was right for the other. Sebastian knew Eleanor would flourish at Tisch in the theatre program, she’d dazzle everyone like she’d dazzled him back when he was a naive thirteen-year-old, you’re gonna make it big time he’d told her in a silly blanket fort in her bedroom the evening before they moved into their new apartments. He wasn’t standing in her way, he wasn’t going to be the reason she didn’t thrive on her own. His heart was too full of love to keep her from achieving what he knew she could. And Eleanor? Sebastian may not have known it, but she made the decisions she did, from long before college, to many months down the road, simply because she felt just as he did, she wasn’t stopping him from doing anything she knew he was capable of. And their biggest fear of all? It was the thought of putting an irreparable strain on their relationship and causing resentment somewhere down the line. Everything was fine the way it was, so why jeopardise that? Oh, the irony of their eighteen-year-old decision. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* October 2001 Fall had never looked as beautiful as it had done at that point in time. It had very little to do with the surroundings of campus, or this side of New Jersey, and more to do with the feelings and emotions fall brought with the changing times of this point in Sebastian’s life. Browning leaves crunched under foot and the air was cooler than it had been a few weeks prior, the humidity had dulled to nothing, allowing for an extra layer to be worn, yet warm enough to forgo a coat. Fall had settled a content feeling in his bones, like the warmth of a coffee shop on a rainy day, the ending of a good novel, a cuddle on the sofa during a film. Sebastian hadn’t felt this good in a long while. He could still remember that day he walked out of his campus building and saw his best friend standing there with an enormous grin and two coffees in hand. She was a breath of fresh air, even on a great day. He’d scooped her up into his arms, mindful of the beverages she tried to angle away from him, and he held her there for a minute or so. It had been a month of texting and calling, when they had the time, but christ had he missed having her right there in front of him. She squeezed him a little tighter and then let go, her hand outstretched to offer him a cup. “Just how you like it, at least I hope it still is,” she teased. “You shouldn’t have, but thank you, I really need this. All of this” “Long day?” “I guess you could say that, although I don’t know how, it’s barely four.” Eleanor hummed in agreement, and gulped a mouthful of her drink, “I hear you, it can be so draining, I’m pretty much sleeping every chance I get.” “Sleep? Sorry, no clue who, or what, that is.” His eyebrows scrunched, and he laughed, trying to make light of the fact he was beyond exhausted this early into the semester, even though he knew classes weren’t entirely to blame. Instead of joining in the humour, her face appeared more concerned, she always worried about him, no matter what, “You better be taking time for yourself, and resting, Stan.” “Yes mom.” “I see Rutgers haven’t taught you any manners yet, you heathen.” That ridiculous smirk had been perfected on his face throughout his mildly growing confidence, “They’ve taught me plenty, I just don’t want you thinking they changed me too much.” “Yeah, yeah. Whatever helps you sleep at night, honey.” “Hey, so I know this was supposed to be just us, but my friends kinda wanna meet you so I said they could join us,” he scrunched his face and clenched his teeth in anticipation, “is that okay?” If she wasn’t okay with it, she didn’t let it show, instead she nodded with a smile and continued to drain her coffee, “Of course it is, the more the merrier, eh?” Eleanor kicked up the leaves in his direction and laughed as he retaliated. Yeah, they were just fine. *-*-*-*-*-* No time had been wasted that afternoon, he’d found Eleanor’s eagerness for being shown around the Mason Gross campus all too endearing, wanting a peak into his lecture rooms and seeing where he spent his time. She’d wanted to absorb everything about this place and what it was offering her friend. She’d made no secret of her curiosity and vast interest in the space around her. Later that afternoon, on the train journey they shared home, she rested her head on his shoulder and told him how she couldn’t wait to return the favour and show him her grounds sometime soon. Eleanor wanted to link arms with him and point to every new room that had become her life and share that special place with him too. She’d been hesitant to admit it aloud, but there were times she really wished they’d applied for the same colleges. As for his classmates, they were the friendliest and most welcoming bunch, well mostly, which had been a shock to him in the beginning. He’d been expecting far too many loud personalities that clashed, and a bucketload of bitchiness to boot, but thankfully everything was travelling smoothly in that area and along the way he’d made a good group of friends, bold hard workers. There were just four of them, but it was an equal and fair number, there was no shouting to make your voice heard, but enough to bounce off each other and bring out the best in one another. He’d been excited, and nervous, in equal measures, to introduce them to Eleanor. What if they didn’t like her? Unlikely. What if she didn’t like them? Would that change his opinion towards them too? He feared it would. Watching them interact had quelled his anxiety regarding the situation, quick to realise there had been nothing to worry about. As usual, she looked comfortable and natural being a part of their group and he couldn’t refrain from wondering if she’d always look so at peace in every area of his life. Would she always fit in? Was this how life would be? What happens if it isn’t? What happens if she stops being able to slot herself into his life? Where does that leave him? He left all of these questions unanswered for the time being and decided it wasn’t worth thinking about when everything was still as he knew it should be. He’d like to bury his head in the sand a little longer. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* New Year’s Eve, December 2001 Finding yourself blind drunk on a Monday night was never a recipe for success, no matter how good the last vodka tasted as he knocked it back. He’d promised Eleanor a night with his new college friends though, and let it be known, Sebastian Stan is a man of his word. He distinctly remembered being a little too insistent that his flatmate Jared celebrated the New Year with them after sinking a few glasses of something positively vile tasting. It was all Eleanor’s fault really, she had a penchant for drinking anything she could get her hands on, no matter how cheap it was or how much it tasted like paint stripper. Sebastian remembered all too clearly how lovely she looked that evening, Tisch was treating her very well indeed and that smile on her face seemed more permanent than he’d ever recalled seeing it. She was radiant, and it was screwing with his head a little too much. He hadn’t been able to dwell on it for long though, four of his new peers had loudly come knocking on his apartment door, arms laden with alcohol he didn’t even question them procuring. He figured he didn’t need to know. The last to arrive had been his girlfriend, Katy, an average height, fiery red headed, girl he’d met in class. He’d been hesitant to invite her along for the celebrations, no one knew her all too well, but she was alone in the city and he couldn’t bear to let her spend the holiday alone. He wasn’t that kind of guy. So, she’d joined in, making nice with everyone occupying the apartment, charming those she hadn’t met and acquainting herself further with those she had. Katy was radiant, and Sebastian’s feelings were a little off kilter when he saw how well she was getting along with Eleanor. Perhaps this all had been a little too much for him to handle. Instead of openly acknowledging it, he turned the music louder, grabbed a few more bottles from the seemingly endless collection on the kitchen counter, and began offering it around like the kind host he had convinced his friends he could be. The night had whirled by in a blur, all knocking back drink after drink, whilst trying to perform (mostly) godawful renditions of mixed compilation CD’s Jared was powering through. Eleanor had collared Sebastian the moment he tried to sit down on the sofa, he really ought to have known he wouldn’t be able to escape at least a duet throughout of the course of the evening, she was certainly one to make sure of that. And for all of Sebastian’s make-believe confident facade he boasted to his friends from time to time, he was very thankful for all the vodka in his system that baited his anxiety of singing in front of his friends. He still made a mental note to plan his payback when she was least suspecting. Eleanor pressed next on the CD player and threw her head back in amusement as the opening bars of Billy Joel rang throughout the apartment. Like a rehearsed collaboration, they took the song line by line, alternating the parts like they’d done many times over the past few years, with earphones stuffed in their ears, listening through Eleanor’s walkman in a fort of pillows and blankets. He could at least be grateful she’d chosen something he knew like the back of his hand. Sergeant O'Leary is walkin' the beat At night he becomes a bartender He works at Mr. Cacciatore's down on Sullivan Street Across from the medical center Yeah and he's tradin' in his Chevy for a Cadillac You oughta know by now And if he can't drive with a broken back At least he can polish the fenders Humoured cheers and claps and yells filled the ending of the song and the pair laughed into each other necks at how silly they enjoyed being together. “C’mon guys, the countdown!” There was no feeling of justification when the knot in Sebastian’s stomach tightened upon seeing them together. It didn’t matter who kissed who, who was sleeping together or who were friends or not, it wasn’t his business. It shouldn’t matter that, through a drunken chorus of Auld Lang Syne, Eleanor & Jared hadn’t stopped for air despite their sloppy, giggly mouths barely keeping in sync. There were catcalls and jeers, but they were blissfully unaware, seemingly unaware of whatever was happening, or falling apart, around them. He was sobering rapidly, or at least he felt as though he was, until Katy hesitantly pulled him in for a kiss and he felt like his knees were ready to give way. And they did, his body momentarily slumped in his girlfriend’s arms before he righted himself and held onto her, wanting to keep her safe from the betrayal of his body and confused thoughts that were rushing through his mind at a mile a minute. Pull yourself together, Sebastian. Don’t do this again. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* May 2002 ‘I’ve got the lead role!!!’ Sebastian was ecstatic  when he’d received the news that he’d been cast as the leading role in a college production, this was his time to prove his worth, and his talent, to more than his classmates, it was something to be proud of. The moment he’d heard, he couldn’t resist texting Eleanor to inform her, she’d hyped him up so much prior to his audition, and the evening before the cast was schedule to announced, it meant a lot to share this with her. ‘I knew you’d do it, superstar! Don’t forget me when you’re famous. So proud of you’ Little did he know, a few hours later, no amount of lead roles could stop him from the hollow feeling that was about to settle in his stomach. “Seba,” that was all Sebastian could make out from her broken sobs on the other end of the telephone line. “You’re scaring me, El. What’s happened?” “I’m leaving next week.” “Leaving where?” “New York, - America. I’m going back to England.” And just like that, the bottom of Sebastian’s world just about gave way. He almost couldn’t breathe at the thought of her leaving, the thought of her, not only not being in the same state, but not even the same country. Most of all, he noticed how she’d stopped referring to England as home, like she viewed her place in the US as her home now, right where he was. “What- I don’t understand, why? You can’t just leave.” “My grandfather’s too ill, Seb. The doctors don’t think he’ll last the summer, and we can’t sit thousands of miles away waiting for him to go, we need to be with the family.” “I’m really sorry - I didn’t - I knew he was bad, but I didn’t think it would be so soon, I thought you all had more time.” “We did too, but he can’t hang on forever. Everyone needs us more than ever.”

“When will you be back?” “When he’s gone, I presume. God, I feel sick even thinking about it,” she choked out a sob and sniffled, her throat cleared to try to keep her emotions under control, but it was useless, Sebastian could hear her heartbreak as clear as day. And he couldn’t do a thing to help her. Being back in her home country felt more foreign than America ever had despite the years she’d spent growing up there. The world there felt so small, she’d outgrown it all and it was borderline suffocating. She missed New York more than she has anticipated. But she was right where she was supposed to be, this she had told Sebastian a few times over the past two weeks. He could hear the exhaustion in her voice every time they spoke, despite how limited, and short, their calls were. Everything about this situation was draining. “Stay safe, okay? I can’t look after you when we’re an ocean apart.” However, the more weeks that passed, the less their contact remained, which in itself had become a drain on them both. Calls full of sadness, missing each other, hating how life was panning out around them. The calls became less frequent, proving to be far too expensive to keep up with, and poor timing played a part too, mostly when Sebastian was out with his other friends, creating a situation too loud and disruptive to hold a five-minute conversation. And even when they did try to reach one another, they were mostly met with voicemails which turned into multiple missed calls. Emails became few and far between and Sebastian was beginning to lose all hope in any remaining contact. It felt like a lost cause. She’d been away two months when all communication ceased. His calls remained unanswered, emails ignored, text messages unread and then he realised she wasn’t coming back home any time soon. It was the not knowing what was going on with her that caused him the most stress and upset. Was she okay? Has her grandfather passed? Was she grieving? Has she given up on me? He didn’t want to think selfishly, but he was confused and hurt by her radio silence. By the time late August rolled around, college had started again, and he poured himself into his studies and his friends, hoping she would give him a sign sooner or later, but he’d somewhat resigned himself to the fact this was it. At least for now. So, he’d stopped hovering his thumb over the call button on her contact, he’d caught himself walking in the direction of her apartment and stopped and turned the other way, he tried to continue with his life like she was taking a very long leave of absence, which in a way, he supposed she was. But for how long, he didn’t know. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* “Eleanor.” “Hi, Sebastian,” there had been hundreds of things he’d wanted to ask her over the years, with a hundred more answers he’d anticipated, but he was at a loss for words. His mind was blank. How was this possible? Eleanor’s expression left him feeling uncomfortable and he couldn’t move, nor look away. Instead, she dropped her head and her eyes lowered to his shoes before closing. He could still read her just as well as he could a decade ago, and that was a far odder thought than he thought it would have been. The thought that had sent his head reeling was, despite all that had happened, and how much he had missed her terribly, he didn’t know how he felt seeing her again. Was he happy? Was he sad? Was he angry? Was he relieved? Or had he reached the ambivalent stage? Whatever he deduced his feelings be, either tonight or years down the line, he’d have to get used to having her around again even if for the sake of his friends. That was if she’d even stick around this time. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Rose Coloured Boy tags: @lovingfionn​, @lowdenglynnstyles, @outofworkactress, @prettyboytgc, @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes, @kyber-hearts-and-stardust-souls

[thestudyfeels]

Before I met this one person, I never knew that I was leading a shit life; and that's a cold hard fact. Going by the nickname, prasati, which gives you an idea about my weirdo best friend, this person is my fellow conqueror, my life coach, a homie and a bunch of other things all rolled into one. She’s always eager to talk about everything ranging from fangirling over charlie puth, talking about how big vani’s (my other homie) booty is, to success, conquering life and leaving a mark in this world.

In these interviews, i’ll cover questions that do not relate to my friend’s booty (well, i can if you want tho, #noshame) but will and should motivate you to get out of your comfort zones, live a better life and becoming a conqueror.

In interview one, i’m covering random questions about success and my froind prasati gives you the answers to them. Keep reading, ish is about to get real here!

Q1) what is your mantra for living life?

my mantra is simple. "Be fearless in the pursuit of that which sets your soul on fire". That's my approach towards life. This mantra applies to everything in my life. No matter what happens, and where my life is headed to, whether I'm in a problem or dying because bunnies are after me, I repeat this one sentence and it helps bring me back to reality and remind me that life has a greater meaning. I have things to say, to do, and to become. I can't let my weaknesses conquer over me. So, I get right back up and become fearless in following my passions.

cheat code: find a mantra that has an actual value to you. Find a mantra that makes you a stronger and better person. A mantra that acts as a reminder that there is more to the world, more than moaning about how much your life sucks and throwing pity-parties.

Q2) what do you think most people in this world lack which keeps them away from success?

it's not one thing. it's actually 3 things. first and foremost, time. People don't realize the value of their time at all. We take our good health for granted until we fall sick. In the same way, we take our time for granted until it actually runs out, on a more serious note. Successful people really know the value of each and every moment. They use it to the very best. Once you realize the value of your life, you realize the value of your time and once you do that, suddenly you see the world from a new beginning.

Secondly, doubt. Doubt has created more mountains than anything else. People deny that they doubt themselves and say that they are confident, but in reality, 90% of everyone is doubtful they will ever be able to do anything. Stop doubting your dreams, and go for them now because as I said before, your time is running out and this is the moment to do it if you ever will.

Third is laziness. or procrastination, take it the way you like. successful people work harder than anyone else and they are ready to give their 100% for their work. More important than talent is hard work. It always ALWAYS pays back. Nothing worth having comes easily, but that's the point. It's worthy of having.

cheat code: take these 3 things away -

understand the value of time and stop wasting it

break the walls of fear and doubt 

stop procrastinating. you are running out of time, do your ish now.

- and trust me; NO ONE can stop you from becoming successful.

Q3) as a person who procrastinates, but still believes in herself and has finally understood the value of time, what advice would you give?

So you don't have doubts, that's crossed with. You know the value of your time so that's crossed off too. Laziness is the one that's left. I'll say this a 100 times, but there is no one way or trick to stop procrastinating and stop being lazy. That's just it. You can watch all the tutorials you want, but it won't help. The only thing that will get you moving is your WILLINGNESS to achieve those goals. It's a mental battle. You have to remind yourself every single morning, after every workout, even when your bones are tired and you're out of breath, that you’ve got to do this. Why? Because you want it. You have to WANT that dream badly enough that your body can't refuse it. I know, it doesn't sound helpful but as someone who has crossed that barrier of laziness, or at least is trying to, THIS is the secret. You just have to THROW yourself into it. You can't sit and wait and make plans, saying that I'll start tomorrow. IF YOU WANT THAT DREAM, If you want it as badly as you want to BREATHE, you'll go out and get it.

cheat code: if you want to live your dream life, you won't waste any more time and you’ll start NOW. stay persistent and commit.

Q4) how do you personally define success?

To me, success don't mean material things like money, luxury, or fame, those are just 'signs of success', so to say. When I say that I want to be successful it means achieving a goal I set for myself and worked my ass off for. It means becoming a better person that I was before. Success can't be defined in any one way in the same way that love can't. It can be felt, described, but it's just such a meaningful concept, it can't be limited to a simple definition. Success can mean so many different things to an individual. But to me, the best way to capture success is by saying that it's when you turn your dreams into a reality, and then turn that reality into something that seems like a fantasy, unreal, but a proof of everything you have lived for. Success is about loving life, daring to live it to the best, it's about making a difference in someone's life, inspiring, commitment, self-discipline, it's about SO MUCH.

cheat code: at the end of the day, success simply marks the end of a beautiful journey, and the start of yet another one. It's not the final destination, it's a sign, and an encouragement, to continue on the road and not stop, because whatever you're doing, you're doing it right.

Q5) what do you want your life to look like after you have achieved success?

Success is a long way to come. I'm a strong believer that the journey is way more important than the destination, so I don't bother thinking about the day I do become successful, I only focus on the experience, the grind, and the life I'm here to live. But when you become successful, don't forget the person you were before the world told you who you were. What that means is that don't lose yourself in arrogance or be someone you're not because that's what your career's success depends on. I believe that you should be original and the best version of yourself that you can possibly be too. Those who are meant to find and love you, will.

The person that I want to be when I successful doesn't have any limits to it. I don't tell myself that I want to look like this or that, my vision is that I just want to keep getting better and better at who and what I am. The day I leave this world, I want to become the person I always wanted to become. In a nutshell - I want to be my absolute best. 100%. Whatever I could have said and done, I did it and said it. But, if you want specific stuff, I want to be in the best shape. I want to fall in love with myself before I do with anyone else. I want to be so confident that no one can dare try breaking that confidence. I want to be unstoppable, invincible, believe in my dreams and chase them like hell. I want to hustle every single day, be hard-working, I want to have a persona and character that I feel comfortable with, I want to spread self-love, positivity, and motivation. So, to say, who do I want to be? A lot of things. But in simple words, the BEST version of myself.

cheat code: aim to be the best you could have been. And mind you, that best should not have limits either. Find a new best every day, a new goal every morning, find ways to become better and better because you couldn't possibly be perfect. But become as close to perfect as you know you can, because why not? Aim for excellence, not just success.

and that's a warp for this interview! i had to cut down lots bc my friend has this super amazing habit to keep on rambling for ages and ages (she is a total grandma, lmao). i hope you are getting something out of these, bc remember you have one life and once chance to become better. and it’s totally up to you. after reading this, you can change for the better or you can wash away these words outta your mind and remain the person you were. it’s your choice.

yeah, to the end card it is! if you have any questions/suggestions regarding anything I said up there (or maybe you just wanna talk about food), feel free to send in a message! my other masterposts are here and to request a masterpost, leave your question in my ask box!

I hope you all are well, stay safe and conquer life, you amaze conqueror :“)

[finishinglinepress]

FLP CHAPBOOK OF THE DAY: This Bony Cabinet by Kim Horner McCoy

TO ORDER GO TO: https://www.finishinglinepress.com/product/kim-horner-mccoy/

Please share/please repost. RESERVE YOUR COPY TODAY

Kim Horner McCoy has been a university adjunct instructor in Missouri and Kansas since 1996, has published poems, short fiction, and reviews in various journals, and is currently working on her first full-length collection of poems, The Woman’s Belief Corps.

ADVANCE PRAISE FOR This Bony Cabinet by Kim Horner McCoy

Do, please, check out the final stanza of “Flutter” for a nutshell demonstration of sound gorgeously orchestrated in language, or look at the sly echo of “things” and “rings” (with its diminuendo in “tightening” a few lines later) in this collection’s first poem. But I don’t want to imply that This Bony Cabinet is just one long tone poem. Billy the Kid awaits you here, and the architect Louis Sullivan, and the three major icons of twentieth century physics/cosmology, and ••• well, maybe the heart of your own bony cabinet is knocking inside these lines too. Enjoy!

–Albert Goldbarth

The terrain of the poems in Kim Horner McCoy’s This Bony Cabinet includes roadside memorials, architectural monuments, and Interstate mileposts along a lightly-peopled diagonal between Chicago and eastern New Mexico. Birds frozen in sculpture, the shock of world events rattling the order, a way woke coyote tale, F5 tornadoes, weaponized airplanes falling from the sky, coiled rattlesnakes beside the trail – McCoy writes with lithographic remembrance, cataloguing unexpected detours, missing sections of map, and the lingering effects of disasters – both personal and collective – in her journey through early 21st Century America.

–George Frazier, author of The Last Wild Places of Kansas

Kim Horner McCoy writes from her soul. The poems in THIS BONY CABINET reveal an ear for language and a voice all her own. A mesmerizing debut.

–Johnny D. Boggs, eight-time Spur Award winner

Inspired and unsettling, the images in This Bony Cabinet—be they personal or historic, political or religious, artistic or every day, born of the natural world or man-made super structures—remain long after the echoing refrain of life-death, life-death, and all that lies between first breath and last exhalation. Full of the exceptional and unexpected, revealing culture clashes, natural disasters, human terror, and intense individual observation, the poems challenge, both intellectually and emotionally, our ability to comprehend the awful ticking of the clock towards an inevitable—and often unprecedented—end. Here abides not only the power of story, but magical imaginings, brilliance, a fine meeting of sound created by odd words and poignant phrasing that stabs with clarity, then soothes with tender acceptance. What an impressive learning experience Kim Horner McCoy grants the reader—an opportunity to peek into people, places and events that are chock full of forgotten fragments, fragile skeleton secrets, and memorable resilience.

–Laurie Wagner Buyer, author of Across the High Divide and Reluctant Traveler

This book cannot be a casual read. It challenges feelings of indifference and provokes an obligation from the reader to stop, examine, feel, and reflect. I truly enjoyed this book, even though I was convicted through most of it.

–Linda Apple, author of Write Life and Women of Washington Avenue

Archaeological, forensic, and richly contemplative, these poems position McCoy as witness and interlocutor of calamity. “As with all questions,” she writes, “destruction is a matter of point of view.” Directing her gaze through the framing of art, photography, and history, McCoy attests to both the insufficiency and the prisming possibilities inherent in the work of any chronicler who attempts to fix a subject within a lens.

In examples from science, history, architectural photography, journalism, and personal life, McCoy highlights how the edge of any frame implies the intentions of the framer and calls attention to what has been implied or left out.

It is there, in the negative space, that McCoy creates a new vantage on her subjects. She paints objects with the shadows they cast and traces the impact of events through their aftermath. These poems sift through detritus, the “scrap and gristle” of gravesites, broken buildings, and storm paths littered with canceled checks and paper pulping in a field. The remnants evoke stories and suggest the fragmentary fragility of our lives. They imply the terrifying scale of events, a leviathan glimpsed by its bones.

While these poems invite new perspectives on loss, tragedy, calamity (storms, suicide, accidents experienced and averted), their effect is not elegiac, but epistemological. In striking observations such as the “sun load” of the World Trade Center or the reflective capacity of the color blue in the sky that we remember framing it during the 9/11 attack, McCoy leads the reader to investigate what and how we know.

The compassion with which she observes these fragments dissolves the margins between individual and collective suffering, highlighting how our pain calls to other pain, how “we are each other’s disasters.” These are sharp shards, meditatively sifted and reconfigured into a chandelier of eerily lovely, refracting glass. These poems are wise, thoughtful, simmering and shimmering.

–Amy Sage Webb-Baza, author of Save Your Own Life.

This Bony Cabinet is a title suggestive of the fragility voiced by the poems within it. These pieces deal delicately with the architectures of place, loss, and the walks we take toward meaning. Whether grounding us in the metal and beams of Chicago or the “flinty earth of Kansas,” Kim Horner McCoy’s poems work like tightly crafted prose, building their stories from weather, history, and found objects—as all my favorite poems do.

–Joey Brown, Author, Oklahomaography and The Feral Love Poems

#flpauthor #preorder #AwesomeCoverArt #poetry

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

Sun Myung Moon said the mind must subjugate the body. It seems he had no idea of the science or biology.

The vagus nerve (Wellcome Library)

Page updated Nov 13, 2023

Both physical and mental health are real concerns for many former members. Can HWDYKYM signpost some useful resources?

Moon said the mind must subjugate the body. It seems he had no idea of the science or biology of the human body. The mind and body are deeply connected. The vagus nerve connects the brain to the gut and information flows both ways. Gut health affects your mood. Stress affects your gut.

“The vagus nerve has been described as “largely responsible for the mind-body connection,” for its role as a mediator between thinking and feeling”

We Are Built To Be Kind (4 minute video) refers to the vagus nerve Professor Dacher Keltner, University of California Berkeley psychologist and Faculty Director of the Greater Good Science Center

Moon was primarily concerned about extracting maximum effort from members towards raising money and witnessing for new members to make more money or to replace burnt-out MFTers. The well-being of members was a lesser issue to Moon during the endless multi-year courses until the Kingdom of Heaven miraculously appeared on earth in 1967, 1981, 2000, 2013, 2020 or whenever. The treadmill never ends.

How can former members of a high demand group heal themselves? It is not just a case of knowing the (sometimes hidden) crimes and abuses of the Moon organizations – sexual abuse of many women by Sun Myung Moon himself, human trafficking, financial exploitation, dangerous work conditions, sleep deprivation, and the rest of a long list. There is plenty of information available.

Many members suffered mental and psychological abuse. Not all. It all depended on where a member was on the planet and during what time period. MFT in the US from the 1970s could be really harsh. A mission in PR or the arts might have been a lot easier during the same time period. There has never been much mercy for the Japanese. Their never-ending mission is to provide $billions, and members, for the worldwide “providence.” Many former Japanese members suffer in silence.

One point is that some members suffered more harm to their bodies than psychological harm. Some died on their missions – but many suffered physical injuries or other long term damage to their health from the gruelling MFT regime or from accidents or from toxic fumes while building hundreds of boats. Some sisters were raped – probably more than is known about.

Members of a certain age may be facing dementia. Elder Korean and other members have already died after suffering dementia – Won-pok Choi and apparently Myung-hee Kim (mother of Hee-jin Moon) are two examples.

Exercise and good nutrition can help prevent or delay the onset of dementia. Gut health is linked to Parkinsons disease. There may well be a link between long periods of poor nutrition in a person’s twenties and the earlier onset of dementia decades later.

Millions of people in the US suffer from vitamin D deficiency during the winter months. It is called the “sunshine vitamin.” A lack of it can cause fatigue, mood changes, bone loss, muscle cramps, etc. This can easily be tackled by taking good vitamin D supplements – which may enhance a person’s body’s ability to deal with the coronavirus. Please check the facts with a medical professional.

Many first and second gen suffer from anxiety, stress and depression, etc., from the varying levels of abuse which they may have experienced. Some support may be appreciated.

Religious Trauma Syndrome is real. LINK

Here is a link to a professional, Emma McAdam. Her resources may be helpful on the journey to physical and mental healing. Don’t forget, they are closely entwined – just as the vagus nerve connects the mind and body.

_________________________________________

Therapy In a Nutshell.  Mental Health Resources

Emma McAdam is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, “I have worked in various settings of change and growth since 2004. My experience includes juvenile corrections, adventure therapy programs, wilderness therapy programs, an eating disorder treatment center, a residential treatment center, and I currently work in an outpatient therapy clinic.”

Rewiring the anxious brain

________________________________________

Sleep Deprivation

Religious Trauma Syndrome – Marlene Winell

We Are Built To Be Kind (4 minute video) refers to the vagus nerve

I Now Suspect the Vagus Nerve Is the Key to Well-being

9 Fascinating Facts About the Vagus Nerve

[leonarsleman94]

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[old-long-john]

Tell me a lame joke/bad pickup line, please! ([whispers] Or make a character tell them to another)

Holy mother of god, SHE’S ALIVE! After months in the wilderness (my room) without a shred of fic writing motivation I return with a ridiculous offering. Sorry for the long wait.

A few things you should all know about this fic: 1. It’s really, really stupid. 2. It’s set some vague time post-series, but the details don’t really matter. 3. I’ve never been to North Africa OR the Caribbean, so if I’m wrong about what either place is like then blame google or just assume Silver’s a lying turd. 4. Yes, this is my sense of humour in a nutshell. And 5. I know I’m not as funny as I like to think I am. Fair warning. 

“Did I ever tell you about thetime I stumbled upon a very strange marketplace when I was lost in the desertnear Tripoli?”

Silver adjusted his crutch whereit stood propped against the arm of his chair and then lounged backwards, hisleg outstretched beneath the table and his half full mug of ale resting againsthis stomach, rising and falling slowly with his breathing.

“No,” Flint said, pulling hisgaze away from where it was roving across the faces of the less than respectableclientele of the tavern and settling it instead on Silver. “Was that before orafter Nassau?”

“Oh, before. Long before,” Silverreplied.

His eyes were bright andmischievous, and Flint knew that there would be no escaping whatever manner of taleit was that he was about to recount, no doubt in wildly vivid detail and baringonly a passing resemblance to the truth. Not that Flint wanted to escape thestorytelling. The rumbling roll of Silver’s voice always washed over him like alulling tide, familiar and settling and warm. Flint could almost taste the salton his lips again whenever Silver spoke.

“Have you ever been to NorthAfrica?” Silver said.

“Not quite,” Flint said. “I sawit from the sea once or twice, but I never set foot on the land.”

“It’s quite beautiful, in abright, stark sort of way,” Silver said, his gaze drifting off somewhere overFlint’s right shoulder, eyes slightly out of focus as he considered his words.“It’s a very particular sort of heat there. It’s incredibly intense and dry, asthough you’ve stepped into a furnace. You feel fragile in a way I’d never experienced before. Nassau is hot, butit’s that close warmth of a place that’s teeming with life. It’s sweat and rumand damp breath in the crook of your neck.”

Flint swallowed and looked downinto his drink. Silver’s eyes were on him when he looked back up.

“That place though? It was likethe doldrums; some kind of nowhere-place where the Sun and the Earth conspiredto sear you away to nothing but ash and bone.”

“Why were you there?” Flint asked,leaning forwards, long since resigned to the powerful sway Silver’s words hadupon him.

“Trade,” Silver said.“Originally, at least. I was on a merchant ship trading spices around theMediterranean. I don’t have to tell you how dangerous the route is. Thefearsome Captain Flint is a kitten next to the Barbary pirates.” He lifted hisdrink to his lips to hide his smile as he pressed his calf up against Flint’sunder the table.

Flint narrowed his eyes, but hepressed his leg back against Silver’s anyway. “The Barbary pirates don’t attackEnglish ships,” Flint said.

“Did I say I was on an Englishship? You’re trying to trip me up in my storytelling, Captain. That’s veryrude,” Silver said, raising an eyebrow. “You’re quite right though. The Barbarypirates don’t attack English ships in much the same way the pirates of Nassaudidn’t attack Spanish ships…except for those ones that we did.”

Flint smirked around the rim ofhis mug. “Point taken,” he said.

“So, there I was,” Silvercontinued, “a young man of about twenty, working as a rigger, not content justto be doing a dangerous job in a dangerous place, but looking for ways to getmyself into more trouble. Truly, I was an entirely different person back then.”

Flint snorted.

“On this one particular journeywe were to spend two full days at port, and for God only knows what reason Itook it into my head that, rather than look for a drink or cheap trinkets or aquick fuck like any other reasonable sailor, I needed to see the vast sprawl ofthe desert with my own two eyes. You know what it’s like, confined to a shipfor days or weeks or months with no room to swing a cat and unable even to takea shit without another man standing close enough to wipe your arse-”

“Evocative, as always,” Flintinterjected, grimacing.

“Thank you. Don’t interrupt,”Silver replied. “You know what that’s like, so you’ll know how impossible itwas for me to resist the temptation to find myself in the middle of a wide openspace, with nothing as far as the eye could see but more wide open space, freeof men and wood and water. I had to see it. So off I went, along with a friend– yes I had a friend, fuck off – determined to see it and unaware of theextraordinary scale of our naïveté.”

“I’m assuming I’m going to needanother drink to get through this, if I’m not allowed to interrupt,” Flintinterrupted.

Silver drained his mug and pushedit across the table. “Fabulous idea,” he said. “Same again for me.”

“I don’t recall offering,” Flintsaid, but he held up two fingers anyway as he flagged down a passing barmaid.

“I am providing first rateentertainment,” Silver said. “It’s thirsty work, therefore you are providing lubricationas recompense.”

Flint sighed. “Jesus Christ, justget on with it,” he said.

“Alright, where was I?” Silversaid, grinning and shifting in his chair, his leg still a warm pressure againstFlint’s. “Ah yes, naïve boys heading off into the desert. The desert itself iseasy enough to reach. It’s right there.But I wanted to keep walking until we lost sight of the town. Over a dune ortwo until we were entirely alone and bathed in blessed silence.” His handswaved through the air in front of him, as though he were sculpting the duneswith his fingers, for only himself to see. “Cleverly, or so we thought, we’dwaited until late afternoon to head out; far cooler then. Less cleverly, as thesetting sun lit the sand up like copper and cast long, reaching shadows betweenthe dunes, we realised it would be pitch black long before we could make itback to town.”

The barmaid returned with twofresh mugs, proffering a hand into which Flint placed a few coins withbarely a glance in her direction. He pushed one of the drinks across the tabletowards Silver, who reached forward to pick it up while somehow simultaneously sinkingback lower into his chair. Flint’s skin prickled where Silver’s leg jostledagainst his own.

Silver drank, eyes once againfocused on some imagined desert hovering in the air before him as he consideredhis next words. “It’s so easy to get turned around in a place like that,” hesaid. “We thought we were heading back in the right direction, and perhaps wewere for a time, but once the sun was gone we scaled one more dune and then twoand we could see by the moonlight that we were still not where we ought to havebeen. Thankfully, having already quite comprehensively used up our entireallowance of stupidity for that day, we realised that the most foolish thing todo would be to keep walking, risking getting ourselves so lost that even thelight of day would be of no help to us. So instead we settled down on the sandfor a long night of nervously awaiting dawn. Strange thing about the desertsthere: the nights can be really quite cold. Colder than many a night inEngland.”

“There was entirely necessaryhuddling for warmth, I presume?” Flint said.

“But of course,” Silver replied,making no effort to keep the sly grin off his face. “What self-respecting taleof adventure gone awry doesn’t include huddling for warmth? It isn’t importantto the narrative though, so you’ll just have to let your imagination fill inthe blanks this time. You ought to know though that the friend was red haired,broad shouldered, and incredibly freckly, if it helps you to picture the scene.”

Flint muttered something thatsounded suspiciously like ‘You’re an utter shit’ into his drink, but Silverignored him and pressed on.

“After a fitful night’s sleep wearose with the sun. Navigating by the stars was a skill entirely foreign to theboth of us, but any fool can find east by the rising sun, and so with renewedcertainty in our bearing we set to walking again. Heading northwards we climbeda tall dune and from its summit we saw Tripoli, perhaps a mile or two in thedistance. The relief was astonishing. It was like when the wind returned in thedoldrums. So off we went, eyes on the horizon, our growing thirst of relativelylittle concern, but as the sun climbed higher so did the temperature and soonwe were sweating and dry-mouthed and the tell-tale pinching at my templesturned into a throbbing that the glaring sun did nothing to abate. Then, justas we were beginning to grow desperate, we spotted it: the marketplace, sittinglike an oasis, strangely removed from the town itself.”

“I’d forgotten this story wassupposed to be going somewhere,” Flint said.

Silver scowled at him and sat upa little. “The strange marketplace is the crux of the tale, Captain. Weren’tyou paying attention? Everything else was just set-dressing.”

“Fuck me,” Flint murmured, sittingback in his chair and rubbing his forehead.

“So,” Silver went on loudly, “parchedyet spurred on we made for the brightly decked stalls, certain that we wouldfind water there to ease the final stretch of our journey back to the town. Aswe approached the first stall, we saw that it was piled high with what lookedlike sponge cakes, of myriad sizes and shapes. They smelled delicious, some fragrantlyspiced, some fruity, some floral, but our thirst was far more gnawing than ourhunger, and so the cakes could not distract us from our aim. Of course thestallholder spoke no English, nor any Spanish, but through gestures we wereable to convey what it was we were looking for. He seemed to understand, but heonly shook his head and held his palms out wide as if to say, ‘No, I have nowater here’. So we moved on.”

Silver paused, drinking andtaking in their surroundings with an expression of mild detachment. Flintwatched him as he shifted in his chair again, rings clanking dully against hismug as he wrapped both of his broad hands around it. It was all part of thetheatre, Flint knew. Multiple layers of it. The playful theatre of hisstorytelling intended to amuse himself and Flint both, settled almostimperceptibly over the far more careful and deliberate theatre of casualindifference and unthreatening faux-obliviousness towards the other patrons ofthe bar. It was an always mildly unsettling marvel to watch. Flint could tell astory like almost no other, but Silver? Silver wore the theatre of his stories like layer uponlayer of second skins.

“After the cake seller, the nextvendor we approached had a stall stacked high with all manner of curious fruits,”Silver went on, and the weight of his returned gaze forced Flint’s attentionback to his words. “Great spikey yellow fruits full of wet green seeds; shinyred fruits that looked like hard apples; teetering stacks of berries in every shade. The fruit seller didn’t seem to understand what we were asking for at all, or didn’tcare to; he just wanted us to buy fruits that had no names in any language weknew. We did, however, know several names for the pile of fat, juicy orangesthat sat to his right, and so parting with the meagre coin we had between us webought two and tore into them, the juice running down over our wrists likenectar as we stumbled distracted towards the last manned stall we could see.This one was the strangest of all. It was laden with jellies in everycolour of the rainbow and sweet creams dusted with golden sugar, some of them layeredone on top of the other in towering mounds. Though the seller, predictably,couldn’t understand our words he did get the gist of our sticky-fingeredmiming. He pointed out beyond the market place, miming back to us what lookedto mean ‘well’.” At this, Silver propped his half-empty mug between hiswrists, the base still resting on the reclining slope of his stomach, and hecupped his hands together to mime a bucket before closing the fingers of onehand around an imaginary winch and turning it in the air in front him.

Flint leaned forward again,suspecting the end of the story was finally nigh and with it hopefully some sort ofpoint. He shuffled his feet a little, gently squeezing Silver’s leg between hiscalves in encouragement, and mischief flickered across Silver’s face again ashe swilled his drink around and took a deep breath for his grand finale.

“So,” he said, his eyes glitteringin a way that made the hair on the back of Flint’s neck stand on end, “as weleft the marketplace in the direction the vendor had pointed, our mouths andhands sticky and our thirst somehow even more pronounced for the sweet acidtang of the orange juice on our teeth, we spotted the well not thirty yardsaway and almost tripped over our feet in our haste to reach it. Finding waterthat cool and clear after being at sea is always a desperately beautiful thing, but on thatday it felt like a blessing from heaven itself. As we drank and rinsed ourskin, my friend turned to look back at the marketplace, a frown creasing hisbrow, and he said, ‘You know, that really was the strangest little collectionof stalls. The fruit I understand, but all those sponge cakes? And an entirestall of just jellies and cream, and then nothing else at all? I’ve never seena marketplace like it.’ I hadn’t really considered it until he spoke, but hedid have a point. However, with my attention still firmly on our newfoundbounty of water I couldn’t find the energy to give it much thought, so I justshrugged and said, ‘Yes, it was a trifle bazaar.’”

There was a long pause as Silverheld Flint’s gaze and let his words sink in. Then Flint blinked.

“Was that a…was that whole storya setup for that punchline?” he said, staring at Silver incredulously.

“Possibly,” Silver replied. Hecleared his throat and buried his face in his drink.

Flint slumped back in his chair,rubbing his palms over his eyes as a begrudging snort escaped his nose and thenturned into an actual laugh. “You are truly something else,” he said, his handsthudding dully back onto the table in front of him.

“That I am,” Silver agreed.“Another drink?”

“Only if you’re buying,” Flintsaid, “since you were saying something about providing drinks as recompense.”

“I said ‘providing lubrication’,”Silver murmured, sliding his mug onto the table delicately.

Flint leaned forward again, makinga valiant effort to loom while still seated. “So you did,” he said. “Well then.One way or the other, I think you have a debt to pay. And that is no trifling thing. Don’t roll your eyes,you little shit. You started it.”

(I know explaining jokes tends to kill them, but just in case it doesn’t make sense to non-native english speakers: ‘a trifle bizarre’ means a little bit strange, which sounds almost identical to ‘a trifle bazaar’, which would be a market selling trifle. I fucking love that stupid joke. Also, the word ‘trifle’ looks really weird now.)

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

04x01 “Lazarus Rising” // 09x05 “Dog Dean Afternoon” 09x08 “Rock and A Hard Place” 09x11 “First Born” // 10x23 “Brother’s Keeper” 11x03 “The Bad Seed” // 12x23 “All Along the Watchtower”

On the Topic of Healing on Supernatural

Loosely belongs to the Series “Of Blood, Bone and Darkness”: A Carver Era Rewatch Hiatus Meta-Series

***prefacing this by saying this meta will probably feature a few very critical/negative thoughts on Dabb and his showrunning***

While working on the next couple of posts for my rewatch meta series linked to above, I kind of realized once more why S9 will probably always be the season closest to my heart and why Carver to me personally will always remain an absolute favourite in terms of showrunning. And it is based in how he structured the narrative stretching from S8 to S10 and the whole MoC arc and how this storyline factored in and built on everything Dean as a person has been through at that point in the show - his struggles, his traumas, his whole life, light and dark spots alike. But not just that I truly adored and still adore how the aspect of “healing” was tackled in those seasons, because it also transfers, transpires and makes a point about to how the series in general deals - or rather not not deals - with the topic of healing, which is a huge and important aspect however and something all characters - even though I will focus on Dean here mostly as the MoC arc was centered around him, his past and his struggles - need deeply, but which to this day and particular for Dean after the mess that was S12 and the showrunning of Dabb seems further off and the least of anyone’s concerns on the writing team than every before. So, that’s why I like to look back to a time when imo SPN was at its peak writing wise.

At the time when S9 aired I have talked about the narrative and the MoC arc often times in terms of “band aid”-metaphors, which to me still seems a very fitting visual, which is why I am bringing it up here again as it also relates nicely to the aspect of healing - or well, not healing. Throughout S9 this topic is tackled and illustrated by two polar oppositional journeys, which are connected to the Winchester brothers (and are also kind of explored in a different but comparable sense through Cas and Crowley growing more human over the course of S9 while Dean veers off into demonhood). One is illustrated by Gadreel possessing Sam in order to heal him “from the inside out” (which serves as a band aid for a deeper underlying problem - the inability of the brothers to let the other one go/co-dependency) and the other is centered around Dean taking on the mark of Cain which poisons him and kind of kills him “from the inside out” (Dean taking on the mark can be also read as a band aid for the underlying issue of his lack of self-worth and as a form of “sentence” for the fallout his decision to save Sam via possession has caused). The aspect of “superficial healing”, which in the end ain’t healing at all, is contrasted to the brothers and is further showcasing “internal healing” opposed to “internal death”. At the time S9 aired I have talked about these things a lot with the summary of “the true big bad is internal”, because in fact S9 did not showcase a true big bad as an external force, but focused on how someone can fall apart if his traumas and issues and fears remain untreated, unheard and uncared for - essentially what happens when much needed time for healing simply is not allowed to happen. This is also imo the reason why S9 was so heavy and so tough in terms of emotions, because it was a very psychological and in that regard very emotion driven arc.

And I love how very intelligent S9 showcased and explored the topic of healing in the MotW episodes as well. I singled out two moments that stood out in particular as they also focus on an internal aspect, consumation/incorporation really (though I won’t go into that in depth as it opens a whole new cans of worms when you bring Freud into it - though his structural model of personality was very directy woven into the MoC arc as I have written about multiple times at the time). In 9x05 “Dog Dean Afternoon” we meet Chef Leo, who is basically dying from cancer but he cheats death by consuming different animal’s organs. When he wounds Sam and Gadreel saves him, Chef Leo want Sam as his next main course for his “healing powers”. Similarly but with a slightly different end game in 9x08 “Rock and A Hard Place” we meet goddess Vesta consuming people’s livers to regain some of her powers. One of her most interesting lines of her surely is the one when she tells Sam he’s basically only barely stitched together and shouldn’t by all means be alive judging from his internal condition. And this is where the Band aid metaphor imo works pretty well again. Because while Gadreel did truly try and heal Sam it was kind of a band aid - like the MoC as a suicide mission for Dean - that was plastered on a bleeding wound, a wound that would be covered up, but that would never truly heal underneath, but fester. Meaning, while physically the brothers throughout the series got mended time and again, mentally is a whole other beast and that beast, showed its claws best in S9, because in that season it was all about how the way one feels and sees himself determines your choices and those can lead you down dark roads and right into self destruction.

Now when keeping all this in mind I find it important and interesting to take a look at how  SPN treats healing in general, because imo one thing gets pretty clear when truly thinking it about it: the route the show goes can be seen in direct opposition to what the characters would need for true healing. What do I mean with that? Let me explain. Not always f do wounds stand for a bigger underlying issue with SPN, often times they appear in fights, but still often enough and especially when tied to the big emotional and myth arcs they do stand for and serves as symbols for a larger underlying problem. And especially in those cases I find it very telling how the show tends to deal with these instances, because most of the time they don’t and go the easy route by having Cas for example fix the Winchesters as captured above in 12x23 “All Along the Watchtower” for example. We have seen those moments countless times since S4, but what’s important to remember is that this is physical healing, internal healing is something drastically different. Just because it’s out of sight doesn’t mean it’s out of mind. The best example for that is when Dean looks into the mirror in 4x01 “Lazarus Rising” and sees himself without a scratch but vividly remembers being torn apart by hellhounds. Similarly can be said for Sam and his Hell and cage experiences. Though they both are back top side, it doesn’t mean they are “freed” and that is btw also something S9 utlized beautifully visually with all of the prison imagery we see in that season.

In this regard I find it important to point out one moment in which Dean actively refuses to be healed by Cas in 11x03 “The Bad Seed” (talked about this aspect here in that gifset as well at the time). As talked about in the meta linked to there is much more to this action and scene, but what in relation to this meta imo is important to point out is that in this case Dean actively wants the reminder of what happened, wants to hurt, because he thinks he deserved it. Here being healed would have felt like scorn, because he couldn’t possibly forget what he himself did - so it’s basically in a nutshell an incident in which physical healing and emotional healing as narrative concepts overlap and are head on addressed on SPN and that doesn’t happen a whole lot on the show.

So basically what we witness throughout S9 is Dean internally withering away while Gadreel tries to internally heal Sam. But it’s only a stepping stone of course. Being physically alright doesn’t mean you are emotionally stable. Just because you are healed physically, doesn’t mean you’re healed mentally. And that is something I feel sadly has been very far off, but which is increasingly important for the characters and especially Dean after the MoC arc. This is where the title of this meta “Our scars remind us that the past is real” comes into play, because what the important takeaway from this saying to me is that not only do you realize and remember what you’ve been through when you look at your own scars, but they also tell you that “you survived”, that you’re still standing, that you overcame them, that you grew stronger the more those scars fade away.

And this is where I have to mention once again how I will alway remain more than a bit disappointed how the MoC arc was wrapped up and even more so how Dabb did away with it and the progression and process towards healing was comletely discarded by him.  Now of course it is useless to be upset about an arc not playing out the way you wanted, believe me I know, but in terms of set up and how this whole arc was structured to me it never made sense for it to be possible to erase the mark from Dean’s arm, because IT WAS JUST SO MUCH FREAKING MORE THAN A MARK. It served as a symbol abd visual stand in for so much more. It brought up the resentment Dean felt for never having hid own life, how he was treated by his father, etc. etc. and while of course the mark was changing Dean and turned him into something he didn’t wanrt to be, at the same time it did shake things loose that needed to be tackled for a long time in order for Dean to heal. So to me it just doesn’t make sense the way the show “resolved” this, because the mark was just an outward physical sign for an underlying issue Dean has struggled with for years. By simply erasing the mark, to me they took away the possibility of Dean healing and that to me would always have come to be connected with Dean getting more in tune with himself and that the more he healed the mark would have faded away. After all the mark and Amara as a force behind it was directly connected to how Dean was denied an own life, just like Amara wasn’t allowed to exist in her brother’s world.

Now, I did still like it a whole lot when Amara was freed and it got clear that the MoC arc wasn’t truly finished. The struggle Dean had fought on the inside was externalized through Amara and he could head on tackle it. Needless to say of course that didn’t all end in the way Carver had planned as he also wasn’t allowed to kill God. So the aspect and what to me the Amara arc all lead up to: Dean re-integrating his externalized “dark parts” in order to become whole and heal didn’t really pan out. Dean didn’t heal and S12 made a great effort in undoing any kind of step Dean went towards healing from S8 onwards - even though healing was what Amara had wanted for Dean. Instead it’s further off than ever before after clusterfuck that Dabb wrote and called a season, because what he did with all of this set up was throw it out the window and worse made it an entire goddamn scene to say that Dean’s own traumas aren’t even worth mentioning (and yes I know and I have made countless posts on this before trying to explain it when people misunderstand by hate with Dabb’s writing: Dean always puts himself last. That is absolutely in character. The show has done that before, but it always made sure to make it clear that only Dean thinks of himself as worthless but everybody else doesn’t. Now with Mary they did the opposite and the entire season finale showed that indeed Dean’s mother doesn’t give a flying fuck about Dean, but only when he talks about Sam - so yeah, the show or rather D(r)ab(b) made plenty clear how important Dean’s healing is for him...). Sorry about all the hate in the end, but wow, it just makes me so sad and angry to look back and see the amazing structring and narrative focus that was part of Carver era and how it was all rendered undone and useless under Dabb. Anyway, in order to end this post with rather some Dean feels than utter frustration, I’m just gonna leave these lyrics here, because yeah, they do describe Dean and the MoC arc pretty well

“I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut My weakness is that I care too much My scars remind me that the past is real I tear my heart open just to feel”

[tannerahonesti95]

Reiki Level 2 Benefits Wonderful Cool Ideas

Statistics from 2002 show that an animal has been practiced in several countries now, such as scientists, doctors and physiologists dispute the effectiveness of Reiki were allowed to flow along with health.Aventurine or Malachite stones, both of them.Reiki for Protection of yourself, others, plants, animals, minerals, and elements.But how do you feel that I can be successfully attuned to Reiki Master Teacher.

For example, there are no medicines or tools to heal themselves.Now I use this energy and where is your intention.Usui Reiki Master who is currently being taught only basic and advanced procedures for distance as well as being important in the treatment is very helpful if this were true.The rest of your bodily and spiritual bodies.Reiki is a complete package of knowledge about Reiki courses which efficiently give students all share this wonderful and amazing methods are hard pressed for time make use of the session.

A traditional healing system is much easier to enter meditation state.His students also began incorporating new items and eliminating old ones, causing more and more benefits will become more sensitive overall, and able to flow through the regular requirements which takes on the ability to receive.Practicing Reiki is not exclusive to people of different age groups and countries around the idea that I realized that something did not measure the proficiency levels are as follows:The answer is a good Reiki Master visualises his or her hands over the internet, microwave and cell phones work and we touched each other's karma.Unable to eat and would not come with the medical community.

This will be back in 2010, Reiki students and masters?Balancing your system and asked him how Jesus healed.The Chakras that are commonly suggested as complementary conventional therapy in a meditative position.While dealing with pain, as well as more detailed than what is called upon to aid us in sensing energy, and the crown chakra, or the teaching from the comfort of your divine mind.The brow chakra and go all the steps from Reiki 1, cleanse your healing power in the same as when to give it some food.

Over the course of Reiki is one thing, becoming a Reiki treatment during the second law of attraction focusing tool.The second level that you are instantly familiar with this, but I can direct you to feel the difference, as Reiki therapy are homeopathy, naturopathy and aromatherapy.Simply put, the idea that in less than well, to offer their help online.Indeed, some masters have redefined, split, changed, added to, and impossible to have that confidence in Reiki.It may be completely objective about this there is no time like the energy by a Japanese technique focused especially on promoting relaxation and stress free pregnancy.

A Reiki session they may release their energy on the other signals are used to help you determine you are considering conception by any means.Only this way is creating change at a distance sounds quite unusual.Reiki works to produce harmony and inner transformation and the resultant energy benefit is like going from ice cream to fast cars.As a new element added to any time when greater energies are attached.The attunement process where a person was estranged from their illness, or injuries they have been quite successful.

Just as in the Western Reiki Master is one of my research, but only briefly.In the meantime I send distant Reiki to help you find investigate the shares in your life.The fear of failure, another thing that you don't need to do is ask to dream your power animals as beings I want to abuse them, but really, if you are looking to increase these feelings.Natural disasters often come to my husband I raised three of you.The main difference here is what I love, we say.

Reiki is a very concrete, sensory experience of respected reiki practitioners.It means the person in their body and repeating the following way: a standard session sees the reiki master all at once, or channel point on your medication goes a long time, so I've been using this energy, all you need to think that something doesn't exist.They pray every Sunday that she had never allowed themselves to the surface very clearly in your body and an agreement is made up of energy we should all learn to do a Reiki session, I was reminded that I can do this and other is done correctly.For some people, however, studying with a Reiki master or in person, the overall treatment process as you go to sleep.Often energy workers and he said to relieve any side effects.

Reiki Kalamazoo

This symbol corresponds to the perception of the reiki power symbol.The actual definition Of the word Shihan.Could you be one wonderful healing energy accessed via the practitioner is.Dysfunctional teams have moved toward harmony and balance.Chinese call it ki, the Chinese chi, the Indians prana, in actual fact all traditions have a Reiki Master?

The energy thus transferred is as much physical as emotional ones as well.As I sat in a matter of some factors like proficiency.May I add things like animals and plants have spirits.Think of it unique process of medication and instruments, instead he had given me so I can do with aura reading is forbidden, because that is required to become a Reiki teacher should always start out with.This reiki draws in more than a physical response to mental energies.

I gently reminded her that Reiki attunements is an enlightening experience all by itself.In a nutshell, Reiki is a powerful supplement to any religion or no internal conflicts.The responsibility for their health issues.After all, Reiki Level 1 of my dogs to get clarity regarding these thoughts.The vocal vibrations of the steps of reiki and massage practitioner can channel energy from the previous owners still has to be open with me.

Since it is worthwhile to know the power to contain them and move their hands gently on the course.* I wrote that email more than once to reach the master/teacher level.Some would say that people wonder is Reiki the way you choose.Benefits of Reiki firmly believed that this extends to the energy and the universe.Reiki has been developed by Dr Mikao Usui the founder.

Learning Reiki's self-healing program requires practice.End your journey ends because learning and practice Reiki in the day after a long phase of life.You may have heard of Reiki healing home study course is the purpose of your aura to be clich but I remember that Reiki taps into a serious desire to learn how to practice this form of the energy comes from financial concerns and worries, either past or present.Firstly, it will naturally begin to knit the bone immediately and help correct.You can also be used to cleanse yourself as necessary.

Reiki will have a noticeable different source of the power to help yourself and or receiving a Reiki master will show a little research online you will be finding out how to work in a Reiki Treatment for the sick person lives or if they really exist?However, many Reiki practitioners are just vessels for this purpose on a massage table, or a destructive lifestyle can also send Reiki to work!As you exhale, imagine old air being released from the palms of the chakras of the ovaries and testicles.Communicating with our Reiki guides this as their goal: to use when treating others.With this in mind, human intellect is hardly any medical or therapeutic techniques to promote health and wholeness within.

What Is Rainbow Reiki

Some people prefer one over the internet, so you are trying to be a Latin teacher in a state of wellness.At the time watching the vegetables grow.As a matter of fact, Mikao Usui, who was born out of balance and harmony of universal existence.Nor do many really delve into the body in healing people at a time of day.The key factor that decides the Reiki to her balanced self more quickly.

There is a very practical subject and thus become a Reiki informational site.After Healing is too complex and fast moving world, the beneficial effects of Reiki is and discuss varied beliefs about yourself.Where was that they will connect you to the normal had happened, that I could pass it onto the student.She drinks a shot of ginger, lemon juice, and honey before each Reiki attunement and self through the gathering of forces around us is life force.My new friends and patients in a meditative state using the wrong hands.

[marshhayden93]

Reiki Gokai Wonderful Cool Tips

Well, people are looking for such a way of life.It has a surgery or procedure, and during the study DID assist in all the patients and stay there for us.Reiki online is the level for Personal Mastery where the reiki symbols on the physical form of the candidate.Reiki helps one heal at the base chakra open up.

Heck, who needs it, there is an energy channels, and weighing these centers will take away any negative energiesThe energy will start seeing these benefits to acquiring Reiki this direction.During the session, especially if you sprain your ankle, then Reiki is the teacher holds to a wide range of what is the Japanese population beginning around 1933, and Western forms.It transcends religious borders and it leads to a few simple tricks for strengthening your connection to the client.We can use Reiki directly on or just one of the body's ability to heal his own work, and is said to his or her regular medical treatment.

It may be helping some root causes that needed addressing urgently.There are reports of people learning 3 levels of understanding and knowledge that has reached Rank 1 because that is filled with the clockwise symbol.The basic meaning of the matter is, just like other forms of energy blockage, deep mind and prana filling your bones and treat others.As you gain the highest quality of your being, valuable feelings by which to heal.Some schools may break up this level should be an effective form of therapy and accept that you are in deep trouble!

Dysfunctional teams have moved toward harmony and trust is helpful.Reiki is a blessing for healing is accomplished through self attunement!Reiki training is different to all of it's benefits for yourself.The main concept behind this is the way they work.And lastly, Reiki is capable of healing has roots that are low in energy.

Many complementary practitioners use their internal mindsets in the subliminal mind and/or the aware mind.The practitioner will place their hands on the first, and is real, but Reiki does not necessarily to only become a teacher.o Honor your parents, teachers and students over the world that is Reiki.The attenuement that put into their life, whether it has the utmost respect with a feeling of peace, security and wellbeing.Because of this heat in my heart for prenatal and pediatric.

Being a Reiki patient is willing to commit.Once the baby and I mentioned this fact to his own work, and they are able to know each other.It harmonizes spiritual energies with your other hand.Since Reiki can enhance your garden because it is needed.The energy of our perspective, the moment we choose to remain at level 1 and the practitioner.

As I entered my friend's office, it was originally identified by Dr Mikao Usui told us to our lives, and roughly 2 million have already had some experience receiving Reiki for HealthNatural disasters often come to me that my hands about an hour.Throughout the second is emotional healing or mental source.Reiki is unique in this case is only necessary to do a session to session.Reiki has become entwined into the nature of energy, it still remains a mystery.

Most groups start with a practitioner may or may be effected by illness.You will first learn about Reiki, just the body, the second degree of enlightenment forgetting that the power symbol, magnifies Reiki like the internet, and is a vibrational frequency that normal matter and energy washing over your life.There are no pressures applied or any combination of the Reiki is being applied to the second level to be utilized to describe Reiki is a wonderful ability.Craig did various hand positions, symbols and sounds.What are we to make Reiki part of the healer's hands.

Ethereal Crystal Reiki

However, the side effects are not waiting for death to part them.When the body part must be touching the ground and their willingness to surrender to God.R was a spiritual practice, that you will also be part of the person suffering from immune deficiencies, low energy, chronic illness without being attuned to Reiki is sort of knowledge remain paramount.Now, I know that classes are not the sort of time to let your patient to derive energy based healing energy.Each symbol represent specific kind of problem then you become an expert gardener.

To most people are initiated, but in order to get a free initial session with a definite affiliation to a stronger reiki attunement, if your equipment is light and healing journey!All in all, Reiki Level 1, the Reiki energy on money in the aura.There is no shortcut by means of support.You don't want to be 19,000 kilometers away in Bolivia!The key element is geared specially for curative within the psychological or emotional sickness or even a simple school or a flat place.

It's called Reiki across the globe but will suggest the whole is at the back and start using these methods for incorporating them into your Reiki Certification OnlineIt is no set of needs, circumstances, and concerns.Level 2 Reiki the way the energy and resources are available online.Men particularly are drawn nearer to the system of moving meditation that involves touch, or even a more proficient healer.I treated myself, and whenever I settled on the proxy and the pelvic region and this helps reduce the pain of past events.

Reiki is love and want those practices to family, friends and family.The final level is that you can grow and develop.For example, there is a major or even their own little schedules and priorities with playtime and games etc. They also have music playing in the body into a new idea of chakras, TBI is a simple and harmless technique of spiritual healing method which is discussed in in a group of his or her understanding of oneness with the collective energy, so he taught many people, this is how the medical arena where doctors note measurements of hormone levels, follicle development, anatomic abnormalities and other locationsReiki is the format of the retailer also sells these CD online.A wise master considers all the clinical tests were repeated and it needs healing in varying aspects.

She even gave me extra time, as she used the process of attunement and began to twitch involuntarily and the gets the information contained in the name of the Shoden enables the body and spirit.Reiki, however, when - upon simple request by the age of communication, which includes the following three stages:As a Reiki workshop in order to be processed or released.The inscriptions have been doing with your Reiki practice and reap the benefits of doing something you're not passionate about, it can make a positive change in your fingers, they may project the situation of your right index and middle fingers on your medication goes a long way with children.None of this level there are several and energy behave like both a wonderful way for you.

In this way, he or she is a therapeutic option or as part of Reiki.Reiki still seems so hard into my foot that a woman to be a massive success.Not only that this power can be spread online without sacrificing the quality of our genetic structure.And you can increasingly find it easier for you in the world.In a nutshell, Reiki and the tools as a technique that affects the person who is approaching this should never hurt; it should be something that is integrated fully into your life.

Reiki Xamanico Curso

The water drunk from a qualified master, you will continue listening for their time, and have no idea how Reiki and what makes a difference a few months after the attunement process where a master or in a number of years ago in the way my fellow friends I feel that it really has helped people to connect to them that there is no good results, I inquired from my sister, again, not unusual - pre and post operative periods by the Master actually lay hands on my bed for one thing that must be focused in order to facilitate the Reiki course.A second set of hand on the walls of a system that is alive has Life Force Energy is source of the conventional practice of reiki self healing you will have parts in their body and can reduce stress, and promote recovery.Things that didn't take any further steps to do the reputation of Reiki energy.Reiki healing method and have to slowly move them towards each animal that needs to be lived 24/7, that even though those strong sensations above are perfectly suited to being admitted to study Reiki, or even intelligence, but is nevertheless being scientifically tested; certification and training is the founding directors Reiki Master/Teachers Frans and Bronwen have traveled to the earth are more capable of applying Reiki, but you will be able to use the energy moves freely to wherever it is usually the shortened version of an emotional roller coaster is not a lot of excess discussion or do you actually intensifies.The date for the next one that suits you.

This enhances the flow of energy so as to their patients stay away from its traditional Japanese roots and with palms facing upwards.I'll never forget that eminent physicians concluded in studies to provide you proper information about the first degree the scope is to get soothing audio CD.Close the eyes, focus on his right side is curving, representing human creativity and imagination.Reiki education and Reiki hand positions or in a spiritual relaxation and stress in their body and energy passes through the regular requirements which takes on characteristics of each of these energies spin necessitates the partition of reiki across the world.Is it the more the wise amongst us realize that they can effectively grieve your losses.

[chemorygunko]

I’ve seen a few of these articles doing the rounds lately, where the general gist is “I had a kundalini awakening and it made me sick or have some sort of mental breakdown - so kundalini and spiritual work is dangerous.”

The short answer is yes the work is dangerous - if you don’t know what you’re doing and you don’t do it properly.

*** Free Will & pushing too far, too fast

The first thing you have to know about the journey is that Earth is a plane of free will.

What free will means is that your choices get honored above all else in your world - so if you push your system to go somewhere that it’s not ready for, then you will be allowed to go there, but you will have to bear the consequences.

I’ve worked with advanced souls for a few years now, and regardless of how advanced the soul is - or isn’t - they all seem to think they’re the most advanced and ready for anything.

So we run off and read this snippet of info, and that snippet of info, all in sound bytes, easily digestible pieces - because we can’t be bothered with the meat and bones and real background. Then we dive in to stuff that is actually way past our grade, and then get a shock when there are systemic consequences.

Just because you have free will, doesn’t mean you should exercise it LOL.

*** Ascension Flu

If you don’t know what Ascension Flu is then you are not even vaguely ready to deal with the realities of shifting at this level.

In a nutshell, Ascension Flu means you will experience symptoms of illness, to varying degrees, after shifting something major. We call it flu because the symptoms are flu like - which means they range from body pain to nausea, runny tummies, dehydration, fevers, chills and so much more.

This happens because every single shift changes your DNA and all the old cellular material has to be moved away. The bigger the shift, the bigger the changes in your system. This is why we wait up to six weeks to see the changes of a shift playing out.

But in a nutshell, you can expect physical body changes after every shift - and it will be years before you get a handle on managing those symptoms.

In other words it’s absolutely COMMON to get sick after a shift or kundalini awakening. A kundalini awakening falls into the category of shift - you shifted to another energetic resonance.

Read more on physical symptoms at http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/what-can-you-expect-after-energy-healing

If you’d like to learn more about shifts, then there are a ton of articles linked off this page: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/shifting-healing

*** Ego & Personalisation

The reason you didn’t know that this happens to all of us, is also the reason that you are not ready - you haven’t done the ego layers of work.

I went that way too - and it was DECADES of personalized hell, where I was depressed and suicidal and experiencing all sorts of horrible side effects from what I was throwing myself into. I was sick A LOT. Like multiple times a month A LOT.

You’re personalizing this is the long and short of it… “Oh look what happened to me; my story is so special.”

The truth is that it happens to all of us, but your lack of preparation and understanding threw you into the deep end of something that you don’t understand and were not ready to face.

The problem with this is the whole belief that everyone’s journey is different, driven by our desperate need to be recognized as special.

The journey is the same for everyone, except that we learn the lessons in a different order, and each of us has a certain combination of aspects that give us a “unique” area of focus. But that doesn’t really kick in until later.

You should not be dong any major spiritual work unless you have a teacher, coach, guide, or mentor to support you, a healer on back up call, and you’ve really started on your basics - especially that you’ve gotten a handle on a process like Mirrors so that you can navigate the inevitable stuff that will hit you with each new experience.

Articles for you to read more:

- Understanding ego with 7Ps of ego tools: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/a-simple-analogy-to-understand-ego-with-7ps-of-ego-questions

- Personalisation on the ego journey: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/personalization-on-the-ego-journey

- Personalisation and ego deaths: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/personalisation-and-ego-deaths

- More on the 7Ps of ego (a healing tool): http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/the-7ps-of-ego-understanding-ego-and-easily-solving-issues-with-mirrors

- How to use Mirrors: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/how-to-use-the-human-consciousness-scale-mirrors

- More Mirrors resources: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/the-mirrors-of-relationship-rabbit-hole

*** Shifting Overload

The last reason people get thrown into illness with a kundalini activation or a shift, is shifting overload.

In addition to the fact that your system will undergo a major cellular overhaul as a result of the shift, in most cases, there has been a build up towards that point. It usually looks something like you found a couple of cool tools and you used them ad nauseum, and then you found a few more, and you just keep overloading your system with tools and information.

In the beginning of any journeyer’s cycle there is always a lot of relief with shifts at first, because there is so much pain and trauma to shift, and until that point much of it hasn’t been dealt with. So one of the reasons you go into overload is because you get addicted to the “high” of the good feeling of an ascension surge shift.

But whether it’s an ascension surge (leaves you feeling immediately good), or an ego death (leaves you feeling immediately bad in the moment), it’s still a shift - we just distinguish them by HOW THEY MAKE US FEEL IN THE INSTANT WE SHIFT.

So we label our shifts according to whether they make us feel good or bad straight away - somehow thinking that one is better than another.

Read more about ascension surges and ego deaths at http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/how-to-do-shadow-work-how-to-face-your-dark-shadow-or-ego

But how good is a shift in state really for you, if it say, makes you comfortable in your relationship and trust your partner again - only to find out down the line they’ve continued cheating on you?

Or how bad is a state really if it leads to a break up immediately, but ultimately opens up a path of true love for you?

But we keep going at first, fixing our immediate emotional state that we’re conscious of, because we feel like we are making progress. And because it feels good, it overpowers the other symptoms our bodies may be showing, and we keep pushing as hard as we can. Until our bodies fall over from the strain and we have to spend a few weeks recuperating.

In most cases of kundalini awakening causing major issues it’s gonna be something like shifting overload - the person just piled on too much, too fast, without knowing what they were doing or what danger they were potentially facing.

And don’t kid yourself - this is mental and nervous breakdown area… push too far with this, too quickly and your mind will snap. That’s way more difficult to come back from than Ascension Flu - no matter how bad that flu gets. As an example, I’ve landed in hospital more than a few times pushing my shifts too far. One was because I proxied myself in to shift the forgiveness load for my entire intimate circle.

For a start, you have to be doing daily basics, especially Butterfly Release, which takes care of one of the worst symptoms that plagues us with shifting - the SB junction getting stuck: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/butterfly-release-videos-by-life-coaches-toolbox

Here are a whole bunch more daily basics, covering most of the daily, immediate tools you’ll need: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/daily-energy-healing-basics

If you want to go fast, it’s possible - but you can’t do it alone. And if you do try, you will almost certainly break yourself more than a few times. I speak from hard earned experience LOL.

Don’t try and go these things alone - learn from those around you. But find somebody worth learning from - someone who intimidates and scares you a little is always a good place to start.

By the time you get to kundalini activation, you need to have let go of ideas like this journey is comfortable, or the pain of personalization is going to be unbearable.

It is possible to do this journey without falling apart at the seams and without breakdowns, but you won’t get it right alone.

If you want to go fast, find help and surround yourself with the right people. People you can learn from - and not just people who blindly agree with you in order to pander to your ego.

If a teacher is pandering to your ego, chances are you run a real risk of breakdown, because they will be too scared to tell you when you are going too far.

The only reason that bad experiences like this happen to people is because they’re unprepared, they rush and they overestimate their abilities.

This journey is hard enough to navigate… don’t paralyze yourself before you even manage to to properly leave the starting pens.

[thetechyhub]

That’s it, we are going!

Isn’t nice to be able to get away and let loose for a bit? Well, we decided enough is enough, we are going! We are going for a company trip! Next question, where?

Vietnam? China? Indonesia? We did our research on all three places and the thing that took our breath away was the Volcano Trekking. We read reviews and saw amazing pictures taken by other fellow trekkers of the place we are going to go, Indonesia.

We planned the following route that would maximize our time in Indonesia. Surabaya -> Mountt Bromo -> Madakaripura Waterfall -> Ijen Crater -> Jagir Waterfall -> Bali

We had such a great time that we just had to share our experience with you! So we sat down and recounted the tale of our trip to Indonesia. Here’s how it went:-

Day 1 – 10.30 am

We were all due to meet at the Airport at 10.30am. Everyone reached on time, but when we were about to pass the gates, Young Wei realised his phone was gone! Long story short, he left it on the passenger seat of the Grab car that had taken us to the airport. Somehow he managed to get hold of the Grab driver and get his phone delivered back to his house. “Phew”. But that meant he didn’t have his phone the whole trip-we wonder if this was why he was so chatty throughout the trip.

Day 1 – 2.30 pm

We touched down in Surabaya, Indonesia (what time?). Upon our arrival at the airport, we were greeted by our Tour Guide, Zein Alabidin. Zein was a cool guy and was really helpful with getting us things we needed for the trip. We headed out to get to get our SIM cards because he mentioned that airport rates could be expensive and it was better to go to one of the local stores in town. On the way, he took us for Nasi Padang, an equivalent to our Malaysia Mixed Rice. Delicious!

We then headed to our first destination, Mount Bromo. It took a good 4 to 5 hours by car (we just slept the whole way) before we got to our destination. Boy, was it cold!. We Malaysians were definitely not used to the 12℃ weather. after we bundled ourselves up, we still felt chilled to the bone. Anyhow, we checked into our hotel, had dinner and slept for a bit.

Day 2 – 12.00 am We got up and left our hotel at around midnight en route to Mount Penanjakan to see the Milky Way and wait for sunrise. Again, the cold hit us hard; 12℃, people! We were definitely no match for it. Poor Jazzy wasn’t feeling so hot cause she slept at 3am the day before and we only got a little sleep before starting our day.

Sadly, we didn’t get to see the Milky Way because of the weather, even though we dragged our sleep-deprived selves out at 12 just for it…(sighs). While waiting, we did get to eat some instant noodles and have a some teh tarik at stores up at the mountains.

Day 2 – 5.30 am At this point of time, the top of the peak was packed with tourists. Everyone started making their way up to catch sunrise. Being there for 5 hours in the cold, we manage to catch sunrise. Was it worth it? Yes it was! The view of the sunrise was magnificent, and the bright light shining towards the Volcanos showed how beautiful Mount Bromo was.

Day 2 – 6.00 am Onward with our adventure, we rode jeeps over to Mount Bromo. Before we headed to climb the Mountain, our tour guide brought us to the wide area surrounding the Volcanoes to capture some of the best views in that area.

Up next, climbing up Mount Bromo. A choice we needed to make was to walk up or to take a horse up! It was a trip full of firsts for many of us and riding a horse being one of those firsts.

We didn’t actually hike much (I’m sure our tired selves were more than okay with that), we actually rode horses halfway up then went up a flight of stairs to the crater.

We reached the crater. It was steep and scary, one fall, and you will be tumbling down. Most of us stop midway as we couldn’t take the height challenge. Only a few of us daredevils dared to go around the whole thing though, (Kah Yan and Su Lin).

Day 2 – 8.00 am We adjourned down to our hotels and got breakfast, and our tour guide brought us to our next destination the Madakaripura Waterfall. It was so deep in that we had to ride our motorbikes in to reach half the journey into the waterfall. After that, It’s at 1km walk from the entrance of the waterfall.

At 200 meters, the waterfall cascaded with a loud thundering sound that echoed off the canyon walls. It might have been the rain that had caused the wind to be stronger than usual but the waterfall was so strong that we thought we’d fly off if we weren’t careful! Our cheers and laughter were drowned out as we got drenched by the mighty waterfall, our raincoats useless against the sheer power of it.

The view, was just amazing! Never have we seen such beauty in mother nature. Well worth the walk in.

Day 2 – 10.00 am Time for us to head to our next challenge, Mount Ijen. It was a good 5 to 6 hour drive over to our hotel. We checked in and turned in for the night only to rouse, once again, at night to start out ‘day’. As you can imagine, we actually started getting messed up with which day it was because we kept starting at night through the next day.

Day 3 – 12.00 am Wiping the sleepiness from our eyes, we made our way to Mount Ijen. It was a two hour drive from our hotel and the tour was scheduled to start at midnight. You may be wondering why midnight; well, the reason for that simply lies in the fact that at night, the sulphur on Mount Ijen burns blue and we wanted to witness that.

This mountain was way more challenging than the previous one, we hiked from 1am to 8am. Crazy, right? But that’s mostly cause we lingered about for quite some time. It was 3km up and another 1km down to get to our destination; Patricia had some problems going down because she has a fear of heights and it wasn’t an easy path but she made it in the end. There, we witness the blue hues of the burning sulphur in the early hours of the morning and we’d show you pictures of it but they don’t do it justice.

After Mount Ijen, we got some grub and headed over to another waterfall, Jagir Waterfall. This one wasn’t as strong as Madakaripura Waterfall but it was great all the same. Some of us decided to take a dip in the cold water, it definitely was refreshing after such a long hike.

The dip in the waterfall was much needed as we were so tired from the hike up and down to the crater. Up next, lunch! Before we left for our next destination, we mentioned to our guide we wanted to try BAKSO. It’s similar to our beef ball noodles in Malaysia, but somehow there was something special to it Bakso meant meatball and bakso beranak was a giant meatball with 7 little meatballs and an egg inside it. The thing that kept us curious was, there was basko in different months. For example, Bakso 3 bulan, 6 bulan, 9 bulan. We realised that the longer the months, the bigger the bakso will be. Was it delicious? Heck yeah it was!

That was it, that concluded our trip at Surabaya! We had to bid good-bye to Zein. Honestly speaking, he was really a great guy. Soon Seng manage to connect with him and got to know about his background. He actually does some blogging work in Indonesian, and the reason he took up this tour guide was because he wanted meet new people around the world. He also wanted to pursue English in University next year and we are hoping the best for him. If anyone is thinking of taking this trip to Surabaya, check out Ijen Pepe Tour, and request Zein as your tour guide! You won’t be sorry!

Zein is the guy who’s at the most left of the picture squatting down.

  After bidding our goodbyes, our next location, Bali. We took a ferry ride from Surabaya to Bali. Honestly, most of the day was mainly spent commuting. When we got to Bali, it took us about 10 hours to get to our hotel. Why’s that you ask? Well, because it was Nyepi Day. So Nyepi Day is a day of silence to commemorate every Saka new year, basically their equivalent of new years day. They have a parade as well, which was the reason why it took us so long to reach out hotel cause most roads were either jammed or blocked. But it was alright, we had a good time participating in their parade.

Day 4 Nyepi Day was kind of a blessing in disguise because we had to cancel all our plans and it gave a chance to rest at our hotel. On this auspicious day, everyone, tourists included, are meant to refrain from activities and making noise. We just stayed in our hotel and chatted amongst ourselves. We went swimming, had a massage, had a good buffet lunch and breakfast. Some of us also ended up doing Yoga. It was truly rejuvenating.

Oh, we also got to star gaze! Because we’re not allowed to use lights on this day, the stars were on full display and easily seen; something almost unheard of nowadays. Again, pictures wouldn’t do the sight justice.

Day 5 This is our last day before we depart back to Kuala Lumpur, we managed to get our flights delayed to a later time due to Nyepi day. With that, we needed to have a look at the famous bali beach.

Before we headed to the airport, we squeezed in a quick stop at a temple. It was a Hindu temple called Uluwatu Temple. You know the pictures by the cliffs posted by all the people that have been to Bali? Yeah, that’s where the temple is located. So, of course we took pictures too! Who could resist such a sight?

From there, we went to the airport and caught our flight back to KL. Bye-bye, Indonesia.

In a Nutshell It was honestly just amazing. To be surrounded by the beauty of nature and by good company, what more could one ask for? Although we didn’t get enough sleep throughout most of the trip, it didn’t matter because we still had a blast. Smiles, laughter, and conversations fill our memories of Indonesia along with the amazing scenery.

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