#//And then Slightly regret it later when he’s got come up with some creative excuses why he looks like he got attacked by a piranha lol
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dutybcrne · 1 month ago
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@strdstd replied to your post:
{Dare I say… Kaehill bc possessive Boothill is *chef’s kiss*-}
Kaeya, abandonment issues galore, can NEVER get enough reaffirmation of his partner’s attachment to him whatever form it may take: Yeah I find possessiveness SUCH an attractive quality
Boothill, possessive asf, never ever wanting to lose things/ppl he cherishes again, as far as willing to hunt Kae down to the ends of Teyvat and beyond if need be: Aight BET
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echos-newlegs · 4 years ago
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Number 22 off the prompt list with echo or fives with he/him pronouns 😳😳 pls and thank you 🙏🏽
Missing You
Ahh this would be so cute with Echo. May or may not be biased because— I love him with all my heart, but since you offered you get Echo. You are a medic in this because, uh yeah I am SO creative. But anyways, Echo calls you Doc because I dunno how to use cooler nicknames.
Echo x Male!Reader: “I remember practicing to ask you out in the mirror.”
Warnings: It is a little sad because I am kind of in my feels rn. It has its fair share of happy stuff though, don’t worry.
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You were a medic, that often worked along side Kix in the Medbay. The first time you and Echo met he was in with a blaster shot to the leg. It wasn’t anything that you couldn’t help in healing, though. Taking over for Kix as he tended to one of his other brothers.
You were calm and collected. Starting conversation with the man to distract him from the pain as you disinfected and then patched up his wounds. Eyes flickering up to look to him when he would wince and tense up. Though he gave you a look that said, ‘I’m fine, keep going.’ So you did.
Echo always requested to have you helping him. Claiming that you were more gentle than his brother was. Which you were, in some ways, but honestly he just wanted an excuse to hear your voice. To be near you. After a few visits, he would start looking for you when he knew you weren’t working. Go out of his way to walk with you to your quarters, or to the mess. Or to wherever you were going. It made your day. You absolutely loved it. He was so kind, and thoughtful. He listened to you, let you talk, and even shared stories with you on the days that you weren’t really in the mood to hold a solid conversation.
But now? Now that was all gone. Now you wouldn’t be seeing him in the medbay, or the mess, or bump into him in the halls. You wouldn’t be able to sit in your quarters with him and eat some of the snacks you snuck in for him from the last mission that you were needed out on the field. He wasn’t able to bring you trinkets from the planets that he visited. None of that was able to happen again. All you had was your memories.
Your damned memories that seemed to be slowly fading after months went by without him. You were beginning to forget how he laughed. Sure his brothers shared the same laugh, but something about his was unique. You were beginning to forget little details, and it upset you more than anything. The others in the 501st could tell, too. They all knew you and Echo were close. Even Fives could see that the two of you wanted to be more than friends. It wasn’t rocket science. So, the moment Rex found out that Echo could be alive. He made it his mission to not only save him for Echo, but for you as well.
Echo wasn’t the only trooper that loved your smile and your kind heart. So he hoped if he got him back for you. Even the closure of his body, then it would finally put you at ease.
You weren’t told about any of this. Not until you heard troopers talking about how they found a POW. You were curious, to say the least. Finding one of the shines that was talking about it with his brothers. “Who was the prisoner?” You asked with a brow raised. You had lost so many men, so many friends after Echo, that you never believed it would be him. Though a piece of you, deep down. Screamed and shouted in hopes that they would say his name or number.
“An Arc Trooper, sir, went by the name of Echo. They’re bringing him back here with Clone Force 99.” The shiny informed you, and you felt your heart stop. Your eyes were darting around. Breathing picking up a bit, this was a joke, wasn’t it? It had to be. Rushing off past the men to find someone to fill you in on what in stars name was happening.
You sooner or later ended up getting a hold of General Skywalker. He could tell you were distressed. “What sort of sick joke is this?” You spat, starting in before Anakin could even get a word in. “The shinies are talking about how Echo is alive? That’s impossible. I was there when the explosion happened, he’s not, why are they saying this?” You were on the verge of tears as you paced your quarters. Running your hands through your hair. “Oh, he’s alive alright. Why don’t you come outside?” He spoke with a smirk. Anakin knew about your feelings for Echo, and you knew he didn’t mind. He was supportive, even. Anakin always treated you like the little brother he never had, and told you to go for it a number of times. Though you never did, and you greatly regret it.
“Y/n, just come outside and see for yourself.” You were brought back to the conversation. Biting your bottom lip and hanging up on the general. Rushing out the door and down the hall. Until you were exiting the hanger and finding a group of people gathered around.
Your stomach was turning. Heart pounding in your chest. Then the world felt like it froze when you saw him. He was talking with a group that you knew had to be Clone Force 99. You knew it had to be Echo, his armor didn’t match theirs. He looked like a clone, at least. If it was, he looked horrible. But not in a way that you still didn’t want him just as bad as you did nearly a year ago.
You were stuck in place, waiting for him to turn, and when he did. His eyes fell on you. His expression dropped, and he froze up as well. “Cyare..” You watched his lips mouth. Your eyes tearing up, it was him. It was Echo. Your Echo.
You started with a fast walk, and then a jog over to the other. Him moving towards you nearly just as fast. The two of you extending your arms and then engulfing one another in a hug. Something the two of you missed more than you could both remember. “Echo, I- Are you okay? oh my force I’ve missed you so much-“ You sobbed as you burried your face in his neck and he rested his forehead on your shoulder. “I’ve missed you so much, too, Doc, not a day went by I didn’t think about you.” He murmured, and that made the dam break. Tears falling from your eyes in streams.
You were at a loss for words, the two of you holding onto one another for what felt like forever, but honestly it wasn’t long enough. “You’ve changed your hair?” He muttered, reaching up to run his fingers through your hair with his good hand. It was longer than the last time the two of you saw each other. “You changed yours, too.” You murmured. Reaching up and running your fingers over the top of his head. Causing the two of you to snicker a bit.
You both parted slightly so Echo could rest his forehead on your own. His eyes, unlike his skin. Were still bright and had some life in them. Your hand falling to cup his face with a small smile. “Y/n?” You raised your brows a bit. His voice was soft, and stars you missed him saying your name. You missed his voice in general. “Yeah?” You spoke in a near whisper. Shuddering a bit as his hand ran to cup the back of your neck.
He looked nervous. Eyes darting to the side and then back to yours. Gulping, even. “Echo, what is it?” You asked again, and he sighed. “I know, I just got back, but I don’t wanna waste my chance, not now, not ever. Never again,” You stared at him, creasing your brows. What was he saying? “I want to take you on a date, just the two of us, I don’t know where, but.. Kriff, Y/n I like you, and I have since the first time I met you. I maybe even love you, you were what kept me going, you kept me fighting. Because I knew you would be there when I got back. Even if you got into a relationship with someone else, you would be there for me, like old times.”
You were tearing up again, and you could see the panic in his eyes when another tear drop rolled down your cheek. “You do-“ You couldn’t speak, for you knew you would just break down. Which would scare him more. So you reached up and cupped his face with both hands now. Pulling him in for a kiss. Interrupting whatever he was about to say.
The kiss was soft, Echos hand stiffening, then relaxing. Along with his lips. Both your guys’ eyes falling shut as he moved his arms down to wrap around your torso. This was when you felt the metal of his other arm. Making you even more angry and upset. They hurt him so bad, but that didn’t change how you felt about him.
The two of you parting after some time. Huffing out breaths as you both tried to steady your breathing and racing hearts. Even though you were both on cloud nine. “I remember practicing to ask you out in the mirror.” Echo blurted. You looking to him with a shocked expression. “You did?” You asked, and he smiled shyly. Looking down towards the ground. “Yeah.. I did, Fives was tired of hearing me talk about you all day, so he told me to take it like a real one and ask you on a date, so I would talk to myself in the mirror.” He spoke, catching your eyes again.
Your gaze softened on him, and the mention of Fives pained you. You were going to have to tell him about what happened, it was the right thing to do, but it wouldn’t be now. That was a conversation for another time. “Yeah? Well, it paid off in the end.” You hummed, and he tittered. Kissing your forehead with a sigh as you leant agains him. “Yeah, yeah it did.”
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joongieboos · 3 years ago
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Colder.
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Genre: Angst, might make you cry. (I cried)
Trigger warnings: character death, car accidents, police mention, first responder mention, food warning.
Pairing: Huang Renjun x Lee Donghyuck, college AU.
Word count: 2k words.
Plot: Donghyuck doesn’t come home one day, and Renjun doesn’t know what to do anymore.
Tags: @sombreboy​ @spacebikerateez​ @armysantiny​ @heckydizzle​ @bisoo​ @poprock204 @hyunmintae
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“A seven-car pileup that’s stopping traffic on the freeway has now erupted into flames due to one of the vehicles being a tanker truck transporting gasoline. First responders are on the scene and attempting to stop the fire from spreading. We’ll keep you updated.” A reporter states from the helicopter from above, capturing the whole thing on camera. The news always played at home, and it would be on as white noise. There’s always something that’s going on, and he liked to be in the know. There he stood in front of the counter, chopping vegetables as he would do normally, the pans heating up for dinner as he waited for his fiancé to come home. The table was set, the candles lit, and the merlot poured in his glass, his fiancé’s glass still sitting empty on the table. 
 Sirens fill the air as the fire blazes, police, paramedics and firefighters fighting to save the people in the pile of blazing cars. There hasn’t been an explosion from any of the cars just yet and everyone fighting to save the people involved knows that no one will survive the explosion once one car decides to give up. First responders work diligently to get the cars sorted and sated of the flames, the police rerouting the people onto the off-ramp, paramedics on scene waiting for the firefighters to get those affected out, and the firefighters spraying the wetting agent onto the cars to try to subdue the rapidly charring metal. One of the cars, though, was already sparking into the fuel line, causing the fire to roar, the fuel line leading into the tank. 
 From his perspective, the liquid leaking out of the truck that was flipped beside him was his first indication. He felt himself grow colder on the inside, shivering as he tried to move to get himself out of the burning metal can. Few thoughts ran through his head, ultimately leading him to think about his fiancé who would be listening to the news at home, not paying any mind to the background noise. It had been a year that he got to know his partner better than he knew himself, and with those thoughts, he looked over to the passenger seat, this car bringing the memories of him singing with his fiancé, the countless dates and road trips that they had been on together. He felt the flames grow closer and he only grew colder, his chest filling with regret as the flowers he was bringing home to his fiancé laid on the ground, the upside-down position he was in making the cherry blossom flowers the sole thing he could focus on. 
 He shut his eyes once more and brought himself back to the first time he had met his fiancé. How he could remember it like it was yesterday, he could remember the sweater his fiancé was wearing, he could remember the colour of his hair at the time, what time they had met, where, and how they met. 
 Renjun was sitting in the small café beside their campus, the smaller boy on break from his current shift. This was his final year and he had made his way to go to one of the most popular and prestigious schools in the country. His brown apron bunched on his thighs as he brings one leg over the other. The smaller boy had his coffee and book, finally able to sit and finish this last chapter so he can start his final essay for one of his creative writing classes. 
 The bell at the entrance of the café made a little ding and a group of rowdy boys walked in, the volume of the building increasing exponentially. ‘Great…’ Renjun mumbles to himself, the only reason he took his break was the peace and quiet so he could read. 
 ‘Might as well go back to work…I can’t leave Jisung alone to deal with these orders.’
 He sighs and gets up, his feet moving hastily so he can get back behind the cash and help the group of loud boys. “Hi! Welcome to the Teaspoon! What can I get you today?” He fakes a smile and a customer service voice, now taking the orders of the three boys before one of them. The one going last smiles and it lights up, a small hum coming from him as he goes over the menu situated on the wall above the smaller baristas head, a plethora of machines behind him. 
 “Surprise me, yeah?”
The smaller barista is taken aback and smiles back to him, nodding.
“Alright, any allergies?”
The other shakes his head.
“Perfect, we’ll get your order made right away.” 
 The other male smiles down at the barista and pays the difference, now going over to the group.
 “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, it’ll be done in about five minutes.”
 The smaller barista quickly gets to work, now working on all the beverages for the group. For the last drink, he had decided on an iced passion fruit tea lemonade. Making the decision to give him a nickname, before finishing the drink, he goes and writes something fitting, something easy to remember. The barista passed all the drinks out when they’re all finished, his hand covering the nickname. He lets it go and goes to help another customer who’s lined up and takes her order.
The boy with the tea smiles at him before leaving the café and noticing the nickname. He grins, one of the boys in the group now noticing and asking what he’s smiling at.
“The sun.”
 He smiles, another tear dripping off his face.
 ‘The sun.’
A nickname that was given to him for his smile and bright personality that could light up whatever room he went in. 
 Coming back the next day, the boy with the smile like the sun came looking for the barista he was so intrigued by. Though, unbeknownst to him, the barista was off for the next few days due to the copious amount of schoolwork he had to do. This didn’t stop the sunshine boy from coming in daily, waiting for him, ordering the same thing. He would come in and use the excuse of wanting that barista to make his coffee for him, claiming that he made it better than anyone else.
Four days later, the boy had come back and was greeted by his favourite barista.
 “Welcome to the Teaspoon! What can I get for you today?” The barista says with a smile, his entire demeanour changing when he sees the sunshine boy from a few days ago. “How was your drink a few days ago? It was you who asked me to surprise you, right?”
 The sunshine boy smiles, Donghyuck laughing slightly. “That was me, I couldn’t decide but what you made was delicious. Do you wanna surprise me again? It was probably one of the best drinks I’ve had in a while.”
 The compliment makes the barista grin, and he tries not to show the pride that’s blooming in his chest. “I’d like that, did you want a coffee or a tea, today?”
 “Your choice.”
“Bold of you to trust me.”
“You haven’t failed me yet.”
“I don’t plan on failing you.”
 If only they knew at the time that he said that, that the sentence he had spoken would stay with the sunshine boy for the rest of his life. And it was true. Renjun wasn’t one to fail others, especially those he cares about.
Looking back to the first responders, Donghyuck had felt an array of emotions; anger, sadness, regret, longing, remorse, and what hurt the most was the acceptance that he had come to when he knew he wouldn’t be able to be saved. He had noticed the quiet sound of air flowing out of a hose, and with that sound, everything drowned out. He was pulled back into the memories of him and his fiancé, and the time that the two of them had spent together. His eyes shut and the air from the hose got louder, a single tear slipping down his face as he trembled, his final words dripping from between his lips.
 “Huang Renjun, I will always love you,” He had whispered, the puddle of gasoline igniting beside him.
 With that, time was up.
 The cars erupted in a magnificent roar, the only people to survive being the first responders who weren’t anywhere close to the vehicles which were now charred. 
 Renjun had been cooking, and hours had passed, the worry that was building in his mind, he had sat at the dinner table. He sat, looking at the empty seat in front of him and had finished the bottle of wine that was sitting on the table. With a sigh, he had gotten up and brought his plate to the sink, the food untouched as he put everything he had made into containers for leftovers. While cleaning, a knock on the door had pulled him out of his trance and his legs brought him to the door; there stood two police officers whose faces were stoic but showed some semblance of regret. 
 “Mr. Huang Renjun, may we come in?” 
 His voice was as stoic as his face was, and Renjun had let the two officers in, a pit in his stomach growing into something that felt like it was eating him alive. The two officers had him seated back in the kitchen and he had been staring into nothing, the words that the officers had just spoken breaking him from the inside out. He looked over to where his fiancé would sit, the silence in the room deafening. Everything eventually started spinning and his ears started ringing. The room went cold, the previously warm and loving home he and his fiancé had built for each other now crumbling and breaking down into the frigid and abandoned building. Looking towards the police officers, his face went blank, and tears streamed down his face. The police officers had taken this time to leave a few brochures and escort themselves out. 
 This house had so many reminders of the love of his life:
 The candle on the table, the shirt Renjun was wearing, the ring on his finger, the shampoo that they had both used just that morning, even the day. Their anniversary. Renjun needed some time to think, think about what’s happening, what’s coming next, what he would do. The male sat in silence; the door unlocked after the police officers showed themselves to the door. What was the smaller male to do now? 
 The news hit him with a wave of exhaustion, him now being in the same spot as he was. Was he to love again? No, surely not. He was promised to his twin flame, his person, his everything. He got up and wandered around the house aimlessly, his hands fumbling with each other as the ring he had on his finger twists. “Donghyuck… baby it’s time for dinner, it’s time to eat, and I made your favourite…” he calls out, his voice cracking and his heart breaking when he looks to the door. “Donghyuck, welcome home, my love… happy anniversary, my sun.” 
 This is the sentence that makes him break, finally dropping to his knees, his sobs loud and coarse. After a little while, his sobs exhaust him and he lays where he dropped down, his body aching as he tries to shift in his spot. Renjun can’t be bothered to move, his entire reason for existence now gone. He manages to shift onto his back, eventually just falling asleep in this spot. 
The next morning he gets up and manages to stand, being faced with photos all around his home of him and his fiance. His body seemed to move by itself, bringing him to their shared bedroom, the room untouched. He looks around, feeling his heart shatter all over again.
“Life seems to be much colder now that the sun is gone…”
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count-woe-laf · 4 years ago
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You can’t spell stargaze without gays
I write? Since when? Yes I’m aware the title makes no sense, I’m uncreative. This was supposed to be a late birthday present for @me-a-mess-morelikelythanyouthink but it’s super late now, I still enjoyed writing it and planning it with her, I hope you’re having a great day, Silver. I’m sorry I got science facts wrong and I don’t know how to end things or how normal people talk
Logan and Virgil are hopeless pining gay idiots with horrible communication skills, but they’re working on it. (Romantic analogical, very background royality and platonic dukeceit.) 1850 words
"Bring me a diet coke!" Virgil called to Roman as he ran out of the truck, through the gravel parking lot, and towards the bright 7/11.
Logan let out a small laugh from next to him. "You know he's going to spend an hour flirting with the cashier and forget."
"Yeah I know, it's fine. Surprising that he's moved up from panicking around Patton to flirting with him, that's what I call character development."
"Character development that's gone on for ten too many seasons."
"True. But while he's in there I have more time to spend with you," Virgil replied with a smirk, Logan's cheeks reddening.
"You all are disgusting," called Remus from the backseat.
"I agree," Janus sighed. "Though I can do many things, understanding allos is not one of them."
"Then get out of my truck," Virgil jokingly glared into the rearview mirror.
"It's Roman's truck-" Logan started, Virgil shifted his glare towards him. "Ok yeah, get out."
"Think we can find bigfoot, Jan?"
"We're only half an hour away from the city, try again," but Janus let himself be dragged out into the nearby forest.
Logan and Virgil were left alone, thoughts of what had gone on the past week between them running through their heads. The hand brushes, the late night phone calls, the hoodies, the excessive amount of feelings that for once, neither of them minded. There was always more to say though.
"You can see lots of stars from out here," Virgil commented rather nervously. "You should come outside with me and look at them."
It was an offering just for Logan. He was the only one allowed to stargaze with Virgil while others were flirting in a 7/11 and being chaotic in a forest. Logan and Virgil in the bed of a truck staring at the night sky. ...Well, one of them was looking at the stars.
"You know to stargaze you actually have to look at them, right? You can just look at me, V."
"Who's saying you're not a star? 'Cause you definitely are, love."
"Love?" Logan tilted his head towards Virgil's red face.
"Uh-" Virgil looked away quickly. "What is that constellation? It looks like a spoon."
"Do you seriously not know? That's the big dipper, it's part of the constellation ursa major."
"You're the science-y one here, how would I know?" Logan just sighed. "You should keep talking though, I love your voice."
"Oh… Well that's the northern star…"
"Why is it called that?"
"Um, it's the most northern star, I believe astronomers base things off of it."
Virgil snoted, "wow. Star dudes sure are creative."
Logan looked over, an indescribable emotion on his face. "Pardon me, but did you just call astronomers, 'star dudes'?"
Virgil stared back, a teasing glint in his eyes. "Star. Dudes."
"...I will defenestrate you."
"Oh?"
"Do you even know what that means?"
"Yeah," Virgil said. "It means you pick me up and I get to simp over your muscles."
"It also means I throw you out of a window."
"I'll take what I can get." Logan let out a fond sigh. "Ok 'cause your constellations are boring and factual- don't worry I still love them- but I'm telling stories now."
"You're going to kill me."
"In your dreams, babe."
"What's that supposed to-"
"Over there is Elenor, it kinda looks like a bunny, I know. Their boyfriend is Jesse over there-"
"Virgil I swear, I'm leaving you in the forest." Logan's words gave a much different meaning when he was struggling to keep in his laugh.
Virgil chucked. "Oh Logan, so naive, there's so much more. Those three stars? Yeah they're Bo Peep's sheep."
Logan choked, the statement taking him by surprise. "Excuse me? You can't just…"
"Y'know, from Toy Story? Doesn't she have three sheep or something? I swear that was a plot point in one of the movies."
"The threat of being thrown out of a window still stands, Virge." 
"Good, now that star over there…"
"Her name is Jennifer, she got a constellation for making the best bean salad."
Virgil tried to hold in a laugh. "And what did you say that one was?"
Logan was so enamoured with Virgil's laugh that he almost didn't notice him intertwining their fingers. Almost. He still had to take a breath to regain his nearly non-existent composure. Although fifteen minutes couldn't have passed, Logan could tell that it was a good decision to accept Roman's offer for a fake road trip.
"That guy with the belt?" Logan continued. "He was the first person to invent clothes. Quite the fashion icon for his time."
"Oh yeah?" Virgil giggled and Logan's heart stuttered in his chest.
"Yeah, he was also the only straight man in his village. It was very controversial." Virgil hummed in response, trying to calm his laughter.
"We're pretty controversial."
"What do you mean by that?"
"We're lying in the bed of Roman's truck, well past midnight and the city limits, looking at stars. Janus and Remus are probably lost in the forest and Roman and Patton have probably gotten over their gay panic and are planning their wedding together."
"I'm not sure how that's controversial, but it is interesting that we've achieved nothing compared to them." Logan's eyes drifted back to the stars.
"I think not getting lost is a plus." He made a noise of agreement. "And uh… I know we're not as vocal about stuff like the others but… Dating you wouldn't be bad." It came out more like a question, causing Logan to look back at him.
"Fuck- I mean-" Virgil ran a hand down his face. "It would actually be really really nice if I could be your boyfriend because- ugh stop staring at me like that! It's just that you're really great and nice to be around and to talk to and I can't imagine you not being in my life. A-and I know we've been kinda sorta dating but you know how dumb we both are about romance and all that stuff- oh god this is romance, I can't believe that…
"I just really like you, Logan and I need to make sure you know that."
Virgil's words swirled into the air, into the sky, into that great expanse of stars and light.
They laid there and stared at the stars, thinking, considering, and a fair amount of staring on Logan's side.
He couldn't help it, really. He couldn't stop his eyes tracing the curve of his jaw, his bitten lips, the words that previously escaped them were still spinning through Logan's head. And Virgil's hair, his adorably messy hair that was usually hanging in front of his eyes, was pushed to the side, Logan could see a galaxy reflected in his beautiful eyes.
Virgil was his galaxy, his sun, his stars. He had kept him sane through years of school. He constantly went out of his way just to brighten Logan's day a little bit more, and brighten he did.
Virgil meant everything to him and he'd be damned if he went home tonight without showing him that.
"Didn't… Didn't you say you always wanted to go stargazing with your partner?"
"Uhh, yeah." Virgil replied hoarsely.
"I suppose you get to cross that off your list, then." Logan wondered how he suddenly had some semblance of smoothness to his words.
"Oh."
The stars seemed awfully bright that night, especially in the way they reflected off Virgil's freckles.
"Is… Is that a shooting star?" Virgil lifted his free hand, tracing the bright line across the map of stars.
"There's no such thing as shooting stars." Virgil rolled his eyes. "But, I… do believe that's a satellite."
"Then make a wish."
"That's stupid and makes no sense, wishing on a satellite has no affect on my life."
"Just do it, my northern star."
Logan's red face was a reflection off the far away street lights, nothing else. "Am I supposed to tell you what I wished for?"
"Not really, but you can. I'd love to know what goes on in that brilliant head of yours."
"My head is empty, unfortunately." Virgil laughed, he did that quite a bit around him. "I wished that we'd have a good relationship. Apologizes, is that weird, or too soon? I… just mean that we're both terrible at communicating, I hope that we can improve together as a couple."
“Oh."
Although Virgil may not have realized it, Logan noticed as he lightly brushed his thumb over his hand. It was stupidly endearing and soft, just as Virgil was.
"That's probably the cutest thing anyone's ever said that slightly regards me."
"Glad I can be of service, darling."
"So darling is what you go with?"
"Would you prefer something else?"
"...No. If I can call you my boyfriend you can call me whatever you want." Virgil smiled. "…You're my boyfriend. That's nice to say."
"It is. I wonder how I stumbled upon a boyfriend as good as you."
"You- you need to stop doing that," Virgil blushed.
"I'm not doing anything!" Logan shifted closer to him, for heating purposes of course, it was a little chilly. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"You know full well."
"Do I really, Virgil?"
"Shut up and look at the stars."
"Make me."
"Logan I swear-"
"Fine, fine, I will." Virgil mumbled thanks under his breath. "But they aren't as pretty as you."
Virgil let out a noise, a mix between a screech and a cough. There was no way he was showing Logan how fluttery his words made his heart feel. (Although he felt it was common knowledge among them.)
"There's around twenty minutes until the others get back, that's twenty minutes to mess with you."
"I'm already regretting this, Lo."
"As you should, my love."
Yes, their friends may have interrupted their stargazing a few minutes later. Yes, Roman may have forced Patton to leave his shift early resulting in one too little seats and an angry boss. Yes, they may have almost ran out of gas on the way home. Yes, they may have bought fries as Janus looked for a gas station. Yes, they may have fallen onto the floor seconds later. Yes, Remus may have jumped out of the car afterwards because he said it looked fun and almost sprained his ankle. And yes, Roman did have to explain the situation five times to his parents because they couldn't stop laughing about all the shenanigans they got into that night.
Still, Virgil's arm stayed around Logan's waist like it was the most casual thing in the world. Still, they shared a milkshake once everyone had given up on the fallen fries. Still, they were both filled with such a bright happiness that it was impossible to drag them down. And maybe they fell asleep on a video call that night. Or maybe Logan stayed over and they woke up with their limbs tangled in each other's, feeling content and appreciative of the other as they slowly woke up. Honestly, who's to say? It was just a good night.
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grazieschillivera · 4 years ago
Text
Bad Liar
Summary: You and the boys have to spend the Night somehwere in the nowhere because of a failed mission.Billy is pissed and blames you for their situation, thats when you want to know what his problem is
Word count: ca.2500
,,Anal Wanderer.'' you said breaking the long silence in the car, that lasted since you had ran to the car to flee from your failed mission.
The original plan was to get information from a supe, whose hero career was is total flop, but Vought somehow had managed to know about your plan and almost catched you ,when you left the supe's house.The question whose fault that was would be a huge discussion later on - you had a feeling for that.
,,What?'' asked Billy, who only gave you a brief glance before he continued his grumpy look on the street. Eyerolling you looked outside of your window again, getting the ungood feeling your attempt to light up the mood wasn't about to work out.
,,My sister and I used to do that ,when we would do our vacations on caravan places.Always putting the word 'anal' before every caravan's name.'' you said already searching for another good one from all the caravans your car passed on the huge camping place.Even though you managed to get rid off Vought, Billy decided that he had no interest in driving for another six hours , he wanted to sleep.
,,Oh Anal Open Gear.'' said Hughie from behind, slightly giggeling.
,,Anal Pegasus.'' you added pointning outside.
,,Are we driving with two fucking kids?'' Billy asked M&M , looking to him through the mirror, above him, earning an unimpressed ''Yep''.
,,I got almost killed.I'm just trying to light up the mood, even though I have a reason not to do that.'' you said to Billy.
,,You wouldn't have to do that if I didn't had to save your ass.'', said Billy.
There was your hint, whose fault ist might be for the rather failed misson.
,,Maybe if someone hadn't decided to cancel the plan, I wouldn't have been caught by some stupid soldier fuckers'' said you and turned your glance to him showing your swollen arm to Billy, that had blocked a hit with the gun on his head from him.It wasn't that you were only there to cause trouble.
You could still feel the pain in your head, from being smashed on to the ground multiple times, when you fought back, and the weakness in your knees, that first came up ,when Billy helped you up and brought you to the car.
With a kick down on the brake the car stood still forcfully and you thought Billy had stoped to start screaming at you but he didn't.He just went out of the car and was gone.You were on a free place now, some meters away from the rest of the caravans.When you went also outside ,the silence continued, the only things you heared were Hughie and M&M talking and the Ocean.
,,Fuck.'' you said to yourself, when you realised that you wanted to apologize to Billy but also had no interest in giving in.
M&M was the first that went to sleep, when you arrived it already was sunset.After the last orange clouds were gone Hughie also went to sleep, after he had tried to distract you a bit from the situation with Billy and the fact that someone almost killed you.But without much success.You liked Billy but sometimes you could really punch him in the face and the shook still run through your body, when you thought about it.You knew you didn't even had to try go to sleep.
You followed the little path and the sounds of crushing waves, until you reached some small hills.The whole beach started to spread underneath you.You just searched for a nice place to sit, when you noticed Billy, sitting only some meters away from you.The first idea that crossed your mind was to just ignore him, since he still seemed pissed, but then you decided otherwise.
,,From a scale from one to ten – how much of a cunt am I to you?'' you asked when you sat down next to him, offering him one of your cigaretts, even tough he just had finished one.
,,You're not a cunt.'' he said, after he had decided to accept your offering.,,You're just fucking emotional.'' said he once he had lighted his cigarette and gave you his lighter.
,,What do you mean?'' you asked ,reaching out for it.
,,Listen when I mess up the plan then cause the plan actually sucks.But you always seem to mess up, cause you try to fix every upcoming problem.'' Billy said.
With raised eyebrows you took a drag.
,,Too caring huh? Didn't know that might be a bad thing.You're the one, who started this whole team thing.'' you said still in a calm tone, due to Billy's composure.
,,Yeah but I trust everyone, that he wont mess up except you.You just run to everyone trying to do his job.'' said Billy.
,,You mean for example preventing you from getting knocked out?Its not that I had something else to do than protecting your asses.'' you said.Billy just grumbled.
,,You think I can't do better, right?'' you asked, but deep down knew the answer.
,,See here is the thing.You're not a supe nor ,pardon, very strong.If I hadn't knocked this cunt out, you might wouldn't be here.We didn't take you as an all-around wonder, just someone for the technical work.'' Billy said.
,,And yet you took me with you for this mission.There must be some other reason, cause I had no direct job today.You're a bad liar.'' you said and threw your cigarett in the sand.
,,Careful love, I fear you're not in the position to call me that, when you're doing an awfull job of hiding your emotions.'', said Billy.,,And there we have it again.'' he added and took another drag.
Then again silence.That was again for you a sign ,that some topics could be discussed untill the end with Billy.Sometimes you had to find your answer on your own.
,,I hope when this is all over, I can find something near the beach.I could spend hours listen to the waves crashing down and looking up in the night sky.'' you said.
,,Maybe you should talk to the Fishhero, when we meet him again.'' said Billy, not really intrested in admiring this place.
You laughed unintenionally.
,,God that sounded like a possible answer from one of those quizzes to get to know which Hero would be your match.'' you said.
Billy had to snort.,,Please tell me you have a good excuse to know ,that some bullshit like this exists.''
,,Its just that Annie and I discussed which 90s singer would be our match – that had to be claryfied.It was Eddie Vedder'' you added when you had stood up.
,,Eddie Vedder, huh?Ahh careful with the arm'' said Billy, stoping in his cocky answer, when you leaned on your arm, to stand up from the sand.He stood up before you could,to take his offered hand.
,,I'm not out of glass.'' you said.,,Its the other arm, by the way.Left handed.The ones who are more creative'' you added with a smirk on your lips.
,,Right.Maybe that's the reason you should fuck Eddie Vedder'' said Billy scratching behind his ear.
,,Or the reason why I'm actually good in adapting to your off- plan actions.'' you said back, earning a silent grin from Billy.
,,So no night swimming for us than?'' he asked having a last glance at the water.
,,I'm way too hungry for that, but you can come and join me.'' you said.
,,I fear I don't have enough money left for that.'' Billy said.
,,Pity, I can't give you money.The boss hates it when I care about our colleagues.'' you said but gave him a smile and nod to follow him.
,,Boss?Could get used to you calling me that way.'' he said with a smirk, when you both started your walk.
Since Hughie and M&M already sleeped in the car, you both had to walk to the next diner.You remembered that you saw one, only a mile away from the caravan place.To your suprise the diner was also half of a karaoke bar.When you read the shop sign, you weren't sure to go inside but your stomach told you, that listening to bad singing was the smallest problem right know.Fortunatly it turned out that the almost the whole dinner was empty, leaving a small chance of hearing any singing.
You just enjoyed eating something properly and the peaceful athmosphere until your left arm ran into the table and the small pain forced you back into the memories from today.A blackout almost reached every brain cell from you until you remembered how Billy thought about you and you forced yourself too become calm again.Besides you didn't want that – to be scarred to life just because of some idiots.
Your gaze wandered across the diner and Billy.He was right, maybe, if he hadn't saved you today, god knows where you would have ended.With that on your mind you stood up from the table.
Billy had noticed your changed behavior and had a look on you when you went away, thinking you just needed some time alone.He even noticed how he thought about following you, just in case you couldn't calm down by yourself, but when you stoped at the little stage instead of the restrooms he freezed in his motion to stand up, just to sit back again in defeat.
And his fears turned out to be right, when a song started only seconds after.
You focused on the upcoming beat and high pitched voice from your low key favourite song ,,She is on my mind'' and ignored every negative thought, that came up.The next thing you felt was how you had started to sing, even before you noticed it and how your body swinged to the music.Full of disbelieve you looked into the small crowd, spreaded across the diner tables.No one seemed to really like your singing but that didn't stop you from having your fun on the small stage.You sometimes even dared to look at Billy, but you were far to buys to try to understand what kind of look he gave you right now.
When the song was over you made an exaggerated bow and walked back to Billy , acting as if nothing had happened.
,,Maybe you and Starlight could start a girls group.Didn't know you were into that stuff, since your cheeks already turn red when you order something to eat.'' Billy said when you had paid for the food and walked back to the car.
He had a point there, you could still feel your hot cheeks, or rather again.
,,I don't know.Maybe I'll regret to did that.I just had no interest in falling into a black pit just because of today...I just wanted to use my time again.'' you said in defense.
,,With doing something totaly stupid?'' asked Billy with a grin in your direction.
,,No.Doing something I always wanted to do but never dared to.'' you admitted.
,,See there it is again.Those little things no one else really does in our group, you're even worser than Hughie.'' Billy said.
,,But you like Hughie.'' you said with no effort in suppressing your smile.
,,Oi would you stop that.'' said Billy stoping in his walking and giving you a serious look.,,I tell you what.I'll kiss you when you promise me to stop putting you in danger all the time, alright?'' he asked.
Just as Billy mentioned the word 'kiss' you could feel the blood shot up in your cheeks.Your heart beat even harder against your breast, when you had answered immediatly, knowing damn well that he just wanted to tease you.
,,You think this is a good deal?'' you asked with too much mocking in your words for your liking afterwards,when you saw how Billy leaned himself against the nearest wall of a building, already all confident.
,,You will have to tell me that love.'' he said with his familar smirk on his lips.
You steped over to him and with every step closer to him you could see how his smirk widened while his eyes stayed curiously on you.Your breast almost brushed his open jacket, when you stood infront of him and looked up at his lips, savouring this moment.Because you knew that would be the first and last chance.
,,Maybe thats a good deal.'' you said.,,Didn't know you could be so generous.'' Those words made him smile once again.At first your body flinched once Billy laid his hand carefully on your waist and even though your heart skipped one beat after another, you liked this.
,,Didn't know you could be such a tease.'' he said, when you had pulled away and leaned against his grip around you, that stayed.His fingers drew small circles on your back when he eyed you up.
,,Not a tease.I just sayed no '' you said and turned around to walk out of his grip.
,,Clearly not.I would do an even bader job in this group than now, I don't think I want that.'', you said referring back to his offer and continued your walk but Billy wasn't done with you.
,,Try again.Dont you think I hadn't noticed?'' Billy asked to stop you from walking any further.,,Your looks and how you act.You might fool everyone else but I fucking know that if you follow someone like a little pup into every stupid situation you love that person... or you're just Hughie , and you're not Hughie.'' he added the last part with an eyeroll but still more serious than the rest of the night.
And even though the last part made you smile for Hughies loyality , you freezed on your spot once more, as Billy said that.
He pushed himself away from the wall and crossed the distance to you.Your eyes were filled with guilt and you had no defense to offer.
,,Listen I don't think I want this.I fear I'm not good at protecting people.I mean just take a fucking look at your arm.Nor am I a good partner.So just let me kiss you that you can come over all this fucking lovesickness and we can go back to work.'' he said.
Each word punched you in your stomach, until you stood there with tearfilled eyes.That was enough for you to grab him by his neck and kiss him,finally showing that you wasn't the only liar.
Your lips moved together and you felt that when you wanted to move back, Billy stoped you by planting his hands on your waist and held you even closer.After some seconds you leaned back and looked up at him.His eyes were never so full of warmness before.
,,You are the worst liar I know Billy.'' you said after you could find your voice again, still standing infront of him, waiting for his reaction.
One of his hands carresed your cheek, he had to grin at your words, but this time it faded away instantly.
,,What am I gonna do with you?'' he said while eyeing you up deep in thoughts.
,,For now.Fucking keep me.'' you said demandingly but still with a smile on your lips, now that you gained a bit of hope again.
,,Just fucking promise me to take better care of you.'' he said before he pulled you back in his embrace, as if you were about to vanish otherwise.In that moment you both realised your dilema and cursed it, while you also enjoyed the truth.
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airi-p4 · 4 years ago
Text
Thursday
Inspired by the song “Jueves” from La Oreja de Van Gogh. 
Pairing: Lukanette
Warning: Major Character Death, Tragedy, Terrorism
AO3
_______________________________________
Since the school course started, Marinette forced her daily schedule to change. She started waking up earlier, despite her usual bad sleeping habits, never failing to ride the same metro every morning.
Being earlier than rush hour gave her the freedom to take a seat and look at her surroundings. Not that there was much to see outside, being inside dark tunnels, but her eyes enjoyed much better the vision she usually had in front of her, across the carriage: the boy with blue hair and summer sky colored eyes that had stolen her heart at first sight.
Everything was for a boy. An unknown boy. And if it had never been easy for Marinette to control her feelings when it came to her crushes: how was she supposed to talk to a stranger she knew almost nothing about? Only one thing was certain: how she felt was perfectly real.
Eventually, from staring at him daily and secretly observing and studying the little pieces of information she could get, she learned little by little a bit more about him. His name: Luka. His major: music. His destination: one station before hers. His prefered seat: the one in front of hers, across the carriage but that faced backwards instead of sideways. He seemed to be protective of the seat facing his in front of him, as he didn't let anyone take as long as there were other available ones.
In his seat, he would usually yawn at the glass window, sleepy, with his earphones on and humming a song Marinette couldn't recognize. His guitar case laid between his partly-opened legs, protecting it, and he usually closed his eyes, probably to focus on the music, Marinette assumed. Marinette loved the sight of his profile when he faced straight: his strong manly features, his sharp eyes, his thick brows, his pierced ears and his colorful untied shoes.. The tattoo on his arm never failed to catch her attention either. He was glowing in Marinette’s eyes.
She usually found herself staring, and reminded herself she had to hide her obvious looks, not to be found out (not so) secretly admiring his beauty. But she kept failing to talk to him.
'Maybe If I was prettier or clever, or if I was special or magazine worthy, I could draw the courage to talk to him' she usually thought in a deep sigh.
There were times when they exchanged looks, and it felt like time stopped for an instant as her heart skipped a beat. Whenever that happened, embarrassment always made her look away, sinking between her shoulders, and the second after his gaze was already looking somewhere else. Marinette felt her heart rate unavoidably intensifying every time he blinked or directed her a short gaze, forced to look away to hide the embarrassment projected in the redness on her cheeks. ‘He must think I'm weird or silly…' she usually thought.
There were times when the boy scribbled on his notebook. Marinette liked to look at his focused face and to peek at his handwriting, but she also enjoyed looking at his long fingers and black painted nails holding the cheap blue inkjet pen that he spun on his fingers when it stopped writing. She loved how his hands got tainted in blue from running them over the paper and it made Marinette emphatically smile. 'Cute'
When she was feeling down or inspired, it was her turn to scribble on her sketchbook. The sight of the boy whom she dreamt about daily activated her creativity for new designs. Sometimes, she even lost track of time while drawing and cursed later in regret for another missed chance to talk to him.
The conclusion she reached everyday was the same: the ride was too short. 'Eleven minutes of heaven', her best friend Alya teased her.
What would he think if he knew she always wore her makeup and her most beautiful clothes just for him?, she wondered. Did he notice her little makeup and hair styling changes? Or her now black painted nails? Or how she wore a necklace with her name on it in wish he would call it for her someday?  
All her courage and efforts to catch his attention wasted by her shyness. No progress ever made. No words ever exchanged- only silences between them.
Just like this, the days repeated, every day on the same metro train. Station to station, like seasonal migrating birds, the seasons passed by… And now it was almost Spring- the blooming season: perfect for love.
And now it's Thursday, March 11th, and Marinette has set her determination: 'Today I'm talking to him. Today I'm making him notice me!'
That Thursday she woke up even earlier than usual. She put on her prettiest skirt and some natural makeup and walked to the metro station near her house. She could have ridden at least two of the previous metro trains, but those weren’t the ones she wanted to ride. She would wait until the boy of his dreams appeared. And after a few minutes, he was there: earlier than usual, just like her, as if destiny was telling her: ‘today is the day’. There was something special in the air, she could sense.
Looking at the boy from afar, Marinette could see how he sat down and stared at his phone, probably checking the time. A metro arrived shortly after, calling for his attention.
Marinette’s body was stiff. ‘Good thing I came earlier, I wouldn’t have met him otherwise’ she thought, ready to get in the first car. But, surprisingly, he didn’t move an inch, and just as it came, the metro train left. ‘Why didn’t he get on it?’ she wondered, seeing how he had clearly missed it on purpose.
As she stared, she noticed how he was discreetly looking at his surroundings, as if he was looking for somebody, waiting. The thought of him possibly having a partner saddened her, but she hadn’t woken up early just to give up yet.
In what seemed an instant, the next metro to arrive was the one both of them always rode. This time, he stepped on it leaving a resigned sigh. He moved to the usual platform and got in the car they always shared. Marinette got in from another platform and rode another car. She could see through the glass door between cars how he had sat at his usual seat, while the one in front of him and her usual one across the aisle remained empty, along with some other seats closer to the door. Another sigh left his mouth and his aura seemed to have changed to a colder color. When he connected his earphones to his phone, Marinette knew it was her time to move. After a little shake from the moving vehicle, she armed herself with determination, and moved to Luka’s car to sit in front of him, looking at the floor. She knew where to sit when she noticed his unique untied sneakers and the designs she had already studied so much. “Excuse me” she mumbled while sitting down.
The closeness of the seats made Luka instantly notice her. And if she hadn’t been looking down in embarrassment, she would have seen the relieved smile on his face, as he went back to humming at the glass, happier.
The girl’s eyes continued gazing at the floor, flustered for her unusual boldness and noticing his eyes on her, making her feel smaller, her tiny body trembling like a newborn puppy.
Wanting him to notice her, she bravely made a first attempt and moved the tip of her flat shoe to slightly touch the tip of his high shoe and waited for his reaction- a reaction that never came. His foot stayed immobile, as if he hadn’t noticed her touch.
Disappointed, Marinette tried a bolder move. She then moved her other foot to touch his, this time touching it from the side and waited again for his reaction. Nothing. Then, she used her other foot to catch his in between them and waited. With no answer coming from him, she wondered what was making him so distracted and finally looked up at his face.
He was staring at her, eyes opened in surprise. Luka was clearly noticing her touches, she realized, yet he didn't react. Was it on purpose or because he didn't know how to act, that was yet another mystery.
Marinette jolted in surprise and broke eye contact immediately, retiring her feet and placing them under the seat, temperature increasing as her cheeks turned deep pink.
‘What are you doing Marinette? Talk to him. He noticed you! It’s your chance. Call his name’
The metro vibrated as it reached the first of the three stations before his final destination and Marinette had to use her feet to keep her balance in place, stretching them a little in front of her. Luka had done the same and one of their feet crashed, resulting in Marinette partly stepping on him.
“I’m sorry!” she panicked, moving her foot away and covering her face with her hands.
“It’s ok”, he answered, offering her an emphatic smile.
It was the first time she heard his voice properly and it sounded just like she thought it would. Deep and kind, quiet and magical. She could melt at his sound.
‘Now’s your chance, Marinette’ she told herself. And somehow, she managed to gather the courage to take the opportunity the sudden stop had granted her to try to speak again. But her bravery vanished the instant the doors opened and an unexpected loud crowd got into the car- tourists.
Marinette sighed in defeat and looked at her feet again.
Moving his gaze to look at his unusual surroundings, Luka noticed an old couple standing next to the door. Being the gentleman he was, he called for their attention and offered them his seat, which they thanked him in some foreign language.
Noticing his actions, Marinette also stood up to offer her seat to the old couple, and she was thanked too.
The train was packed and the loud youngest tourists weren’t especially careful about their surroundings, pushing people to gain some personal space or move through the car. Being small as she was, Marinette was close to being crushed between the back of the seats, the door, and a group of young large immature men.
Marinette closed her eyes, scared, as one man was jokingly pushed towards her. But, to her surprise, he didn’t bump on her- Luka stepped in the way to protect her, and she was now secured between his body and the space between the door and the seats.
“Stop being rude, where are your manners?” Luka coldly glared at them.
“Sorry, dude”, the young man said, and he got angry at his playful friends, who kept stupidly laughing.
The fear in Marinette’s eyes became surprise and shyness at noticing her position and how close the man of her dreams was to her. She could smell his ocean scented cologne and her eyes couldn’t stop staring at his beautiful face features from close up, as he angrily glared at the rude youngsters.
“Are you ok?” he asked again, taking one step back, to leave her some space to breathe.
“Yes!” she jumped at the question. “Thank you...”
“You’re welcome” he smiled.
The redness on her face became more vivid and she looked back at her feet again to hide it. When the men finally took their leave, Luka tried to take another step back to give her more personal space. But something stopped him: Marinette finally drew the courage to shyly grab his jacket.
“Lu-” another jolt marked the arrival to the second station. The agitation of the train made both of them lose their balance, holding onto each other to keep their steadiness. Marinette’s face was buried in his chest as he used one of his arms to keep her safe and the other hand grabbed one of the pole stands.
“Are you ok?” he asked again, releasing her from his hold.
Surprised, she grabbed his jacket once again “Yes” she finally said, whispering his name, stuttering. "Lu- Lu- Luka…"
Her eyes were strongly shut, and she was trembling, but she was refusing to let go of his denim jacket no matter how embarrassed she was. After a two seconds of silence, he called her with a relieved sigh.
“Marinette”
Her startle was felt by him through his jacket as she raised her face up to stare at his eyes. Both of them had glowing pupils, filled with a hope that didn’t come unnoticed by Luka- an emotion that determined and secured his next steps. He moved his hand to hold hers and she let go of his clothing to squeeze his fingers instead. “Marinette” he repeated. And her heart skipped a beat, rhythm intensifying, melting in his blue eyes now fixated on her.
The doors closed again and the metro resumed its march. One station left.
“You noticed me…” Luka whispered, caressing her hands with his thumb. His face showed a relieved smile that made Marinette understand at last. She squeezed his hand stronger, confirming his words.
“You noticed me…?” she returned his words back to him, with a shy smile and expectation on her face.
“Always. I don't know you, but I already missed you” he replied, smiling softly. “Everyday, ever since I first saw you, I've been riding this train, wishing to see you every morning, despite my bike being cheaper and faster”
Marinette’s eyes glowed in awe and joy. “I’ve been waking up earlier every morning so I could ride this train and see you, even if this means I have to wait for 20 minutes in front of the school gates…” she confessed.
Luka's smile widened and left out a sigh. “What have we been doing all this time?” he asked rhetorically, moving a lock of Marinette's hair to take a better look at her face. The girl awkwardly giggled, embarrassed for not having been able to tell him her feelings and encountering this happiness earlier.
“I like you” he finally said, taking one of her hands close to his lips so he could kiss her knuckles while staring at her eyes.
Marinette smiled and brought out all her determination to stand on her tip-toes and give him a soft kiss on his cheek. “I like you too”.
Another turbulence marked the final destination arrival as they hugged again to keep their feet on the floor. The train finally stopped, and its doors opened.
Not wanting to separate, they exchanged sad looks and he moved his head down to give her one final last kiss on her lips. An action she quickly mimicked when he started to pull apart, causing him to smile widely.
“See you tomorrow” he whispered, reluctantly crossing the door. Marinette nodded shyly and stayed by the door, cheeks red and waving at him with a soft smile on her face, one he also had for her in return.
“I can’t wait for tomorrow...” she whispered, trying to process everything that happened. ‘He likes me back! I’m so happy I could die’ she thought, internally squealing.
And that's exactly what happened.
The deadliest terrorist attack in the city. A cataclysm that wiped all traces of life of the metro passengers on the next station- Marinette's destination.
Irremediably, Marinette was one of the hundreds of fatal victims. But her soul was happy, because before she died, she had given Luka everything she had: her first and last kiss, her last blush, her last sigh, and the last thought on her mind. Instant death with the sweetest sensations.
_______________________________________________
AN: The song "Jueves" is a tribute to the victims of Madrid's terrorist attacks from March 11th, 2004.
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mamanabeille · 4 years ago
Text
As He Waits - Lukanette Exchange Fic
Here is my @lukanette-exchange fic for the lovely @airi-p4.  I’m sorry it’s a little late I would give you excuses but instead will just say that your piece inspired me to smooth out the last little bits.  I hope you enjoy it.  
He waits nervously at the end of the aisle of The Liberty, in between his mother and sister.  He attempts to spin the old ring on his thumb, knowing that in just a moment, he’ll have another adorning his hand.  His mother chuckles, “Calm yourself, boy.  She’ll be here in a moment.”  He looks around to the friends and family seated in rows along the deck, and thinks of the moments that have led them to this day. 
“Come on, Luka!  Just play with us,” a young Juleka begs tugging her brother’s arms to pull him along to her bedroom where the two other girls are waiting.  “We need a boy to be the groom.” 
Luka rolls his eyes, but lets his sister continue to guide him along. “Fine, but I’m not marrying you.  That’s too weird, even to pretend.” He shakes his head as if to clear the thought from his mind, and then adds quickly. “Or Rose.” 
“Got him,” Juleka announces triumphantly. “We have a groom for Marinette.” 
“I’m still not sure I want to be the bride,” the girl mutters quietly, flushing a deep red nearly hiding behind Rose. “Why not Rose, again?” 
“Because Luka is basically my brother too, and that’s gross. Come on Mari,” she begs cheerfully.   “There’s no point in playing wedding planner for forever if we don’t even get to have a wedding at the end.” 
Marinette tries to object a few more times, but none of her attempts produce any actual words, so she is ushered by the girls to the back of Juleka’s room so she can walk down ‘properly’ as Rose had said.    She makes her way up the makeshift aisle of fake rose petals that Marinette can only assume came from the bubblier of the two.  Luka can tell she is nervous so he offers him a smile and a little nod.  She smiles back at him.  Even at the age of cooties and boys vs girls, Luka is struck by how pretty she looks when she smiles at him. 
Once Marintte is standing next to Luka, Rose begins into a clearly plagerized speech on love and what has them all gathered there today. He’s sure it is from a movie, but he can’t exactly place which one.  He leans over to ask Marinette if she knows, but before he can get any words out she mutters quietly so the other two can’t hear, “Do you think she’s going to make us kiss?”
“She can’t make either one of us kiss each other, Marinette,” Luka tells her with a little laugh, before adding as an afterthought “And I won’t either.” 
Marinette physically relaxes at his words.  “Maybe just on the cheek,” she decides just as Rose is prompting her for the ‘I do’. 
Luka’s cheeks flush a soft pink at that, thankful that Marinette’s attention is no longer on him. He gives his response of ‘I do’ as well.  He leans forward to place a very soft, very quick kiss to Marinette’s cheek, and feels butterflies in his stomach for the first time in his life.  He ponders the meaning, but then Rose is hurting them back down the aisle, and he can hear the click click click of Juleka using their mother’s camera to snap photos, and the butterflies are gone. 
The music switches from the intro music to Canon in D and Luka glances over at Jagged with a little smile and nod as his father’s hands dance across the keys.  It had taken a while for them to get on good terms with one another once Anarka had confessed the rock star was indeed his and Juleka’s father.   Marinette had played a major part in encouraging them all to really spend time together and let each other into their lives. 
Luka doesn’t remember walking to the bakery.  The last thing he does remember are his mother’s words ringing in his ears. “It’s true, Jagged’s yer dad.” He’d walked out, maybe even ran.  He isn’t sure.  He has no clue how long he’d been wandering around the city before he ended up in the cafe.  He doesn’t even remember deciding that’s where he was going.  He doesn’t go in; just stands by the door.  It’s late, and he knows they are closed, but Tom must have been doing some prep for the next morning or cleaning up.  The baker opens the door, sees the expression on the young man’s face, and tells him to go on up to Marinette’s room.  “I’ll bring you two up something to eat and drink when I finish up here,” Tom tells him, unsurprised when he gets no reply. 
Marinette isn’t expecting him. It’s obvious by her startled jump as he weakly calls out her name.  
“Luka?” she whispered, dropping her sketchbook and practically running over to him. “You’re crying,” the words sound wrong on her tongue.  He isn’t crying.  He reaches up, feels his cheek, and sure enough his fingers come back damp.  “What happened?” she asks, pulling him further into her room. She guides him over to the chaise and he falls into her, resting his head against her shoulders and completely bursting into tears 
Marinette whispers little assurances and runs her fingers through his hair until he’s ready to talk.  Once he does, she repeats the whole process again.  By the time he’s all cried out, Tom has come and gone with cookies and milk that go untouched and a quick ‘he can stay here for the night if he wants’ before Marintte can even ask. 
As the music shifts all eyes shift to the back of the boat, to Marintte’s entrance. Not that Luka notices anyone other than the beautiful woman that he fell in love with so long ago.  She’s grinning back at him, and he knows he should look at her dress.  He knows that she’s put months of work and preparations into this exact moment, but his heart is aflutter and tears prickle his eyes.   He can’t bring himself to look away from her matching tear filled eyes for even a moment.  He quickly brushes away at his watery eyes, and catches Marinette let out a little giggle at the action before doing the same herself.
Marinette is finishing up the eggs when Luka comes up behind her, wraps his arms around her waist and rests his chin on her shoulder. He takes in an over exaggerated breath.  “Mmmm.  Breakfast for dinner.  My favorite.” 
“I know,” she chuckles proudly, turning over the bacon. 
“Need help with anything?” he asks her, nuzzling his head into her neck. 
She shakes her head with a ‘nope’ and turns to kiss his cheek.  He smiles back at her with an adoring boyish grin that she's never seen on him before. She pulls back just slightly to look at him properly.  “What?” she asks softly. 
“I love you.” 
Marinette drops the spatula at his words, frozen in place, her cheeks a deep red flush.  She grins bigger than he’s ever seen, but struggles to form any other words. 
“Marinette, your eggs are burning.”  
Marinette lets out a laugh that sends sparks through Luka.  “I love you, too!”  She goes to throw her arms around his neck. In her haste to pull him into a kiss, and have her lips against hers, she catches the side of the pan with her forearm.  Her eyes instantly fill with tears and sobs out a curse.
“Shit, Nette,” Luka gasps, pulling her away from the stove and guiding her over to the sink  He mutters a soft, “It’s okay, babe” as he gets her to place her arm under the cool  running tap.  “Are you okay?” 
“Yeah,” she hisses, trying to hold back tears.  “It’s not the worst burn I’ve ever gotten.”  She glances down at her arm with a wince. “Of the worse, but not the worst.” She holds her breath for a few moments through the pain.
Luka grabs the first aid kit from under the sink and rummages around looking for a salve, gauze, and tape. “Only you,” he sighs, shaking his head as he dresses the wound. 
“You love me,” she practically giggles. 
“Very much,” he nods, leaning to capture her lips with his. 
Luka finally allows himself to take in the full sight of her.  He is struck in awe, as he is nearly every time he sees her creations, by her pure talent, skill, and creativity. 
Luka is awoken from his midday nap by a knock on the door.  He yawns deeply, making his way over, and opening it lazily.  “-ello,” he greets, not even bothering to see who it is. 
“Lu-luka?” Marintte whimpers.  
It promptly wakes him out of his daze and he pulls her into his chest.  “Marientte,” he asks shocked, ushering them inside and closing the door behind them.  “What’s the matter?” 
“I didn’t get it.” She finally manages to get out after a few sniffles and sobs.  “I though-thought for sure I would. I mean, I’ve been working with Gabriel for years.  I know his style. I know what he likes and what he doesn’t.  I have been his top apprentice for nearly as long as I’ve been with the company and he gave the partnership to another designer.” 
“Oh, Nette.”  He rubs circles on her back with a sigh.  “You’re an amazing designer, and you know you are. He’s going to regret it one day.  That sucks though, and I’m sorry.  What do you need from me?” 
“I just want to cuddle and cry,” she tells him with a humph. 
“I am always down for cuddles,” he chuckles, tilting her chin up gently and placing a soft kiss on her lips. “I’m not going to tell you not to cry, but I am going to try to make you smile. You know that, right?” 
“I know.” She nods weakly and follows as he leads her to the couch, never fully leaving the embrace. 
He puts on an animated movie he knows she loves, but he’s never really cared for, and lets her cry on his chest. The tears eventually fade to sniffles, which soon die down to her breath evening out, and Luka realizing that she’s fallen asleep.  He kisses the top of her head, and rubs circles up and down her back.  
“Thanks, Lu.” Marinette whispers a little while later.  “I’m sorry I cried on you.” 
“Hey,” Luka says sharply,  catching her attention.  “Never apologize for me being the one you lean on, Marinette.  I want to be that person for you.  You are welcome to break down anytime and anyplace with me, do you understand?  
She nods gently and buries her face into his neck, and places a soft kiss there.  He feels his breath catch in his throat, and he’s sure she can hear him swallow the lump.  “I love you, Luka.” 
“I love you too,” he tells her with a soft kiss to the forehead. 
Tom leans down to whisper something in her ear, kisses her cheek, and releases her hand to place in it his. Luka squeezes her hand gently.  He can't believe this moment is happening.  He’s been dreaming of it since the very first time Tom ushered him to her. 
When Luka picks her up that evening, his breath catches in his throat.  He’s never seen Marintte out of her usual school outfit.   However when Tom ushers him into the cafe and Marinette makes her way down the stairs, she’s in a swirly skirt instead of her usual jeans.  He can’t help but stare for a moment until Tom chuckles and pats him on the back.  He’s thankful that he’s traded in his faded hoodie for a nicer leather jacket.  “Hi,” she blushes, once she’s standing in front of him. 
“Hey,” he manages to get out over the lump in his throat.  “You look beautiful, marinette.”  
“You too- I mean handsome,” Marinette huffs, covering her face with her hands momentarily to cover her embarrassed blush.  “You look great I mean.” 
Tom chuckles again and Sabine reminds them to be home before eleven as they  leave. 
“I was thinking coffee and then a little music place I know of, if you’re good with that,” Luka tells her, reaching for her hand as they walk.  “Is this okay?” he asks, nodding down to their intertwined hands. 
She nods happily.  “That sounds wonderful.  Oh, are you going to play?  You don’t have your guitar though.  Not sure I”ve seen you without it much. 
I left it at home.  You’re my main focus tonight.   
Marientte feels her stomach warm and can't hide the grin on her face.  Luka is pretty sure it’s his favorite sight in the world. 
Luka guides her up a couple of steps to where the three other Couffaines are waiting for them.  Rose leans forwards and squeezes Marintte tightly in a hug.   Juleka takes the opportunity to kiss his cheek and tell him how happy she is for him, for both of them.  The bride and groom clasp hands and Luka leans forward to place a soft kiss on Marintte’s forehead.  “I love you,” he mouths, silently.  “I love you, too,” she whispers back as Anarka begins her speech by welcoming everyone there. 
When Luka opens his eyes to morning sunlight, and is met with his favorite sight in the world. Marintte is still asleep on the pillow next to him.  When she’s awake, she usually has a million things on her mind, and it shows.  He always feels a warmth in his chest when he catches her like this, perfectly still and completely at peace.  It’s the only time he realizes how truly small she is, and it amazes him the strength that she harbors in such a slight frame.  He spends the next several moments simply watching her, until her eyes start to slowly flutter open. 
“..Mmm. Morning,” she yawns, scooting closer to him and nuzzling her head into the nook of his shoulder. Warm,” she hums, happily.  Luka smiles into the kiss he places onto the top of her head.  “This is nice,” he sighs contently, and she responds with a gentle nod of her head and a little murmur of content. “Marry me?” the words are out of his mouth without him really thinking, but he means them with every single atom of his being. 
“Of course,” she mumbles, her lips brushing up against his skin as she does. 
“Nettie, I’m serious,” he tells her with a small chuckle, at her half awake tone. 
“What?” she pulls back, to look him in the eyes in disbelief.  “You’re serious?” 
“I am,” he nods.  He brushes back some of the loose hair that has escaped her ponytail in the night and fallen in her face. He tucks it behind her ear and stokes the line of her jaw right below with his thumb.  “I want to wake up next to you every single morning for the rest of my life, love.   You are the most important part of my life. I want you to be my future.  I want this,” he looks between the two of them and squeezes her hand that he doesn’t remember grasping.  “I love you.” 
“I want that too,” she smiles, capturing his lips in a quick kiss. “I love you.”  She grins even bigger and throws his arms clumsily around his neck, pulling him even closer.  He rolls on top of her, deepening the kiss, pulling away only for the occasional breath and to mutter ‘I love you’.  
An eruption of cheers booms across the boat, as Luka kisses her, bending her into a deep dip.  They both come up beaming and make their way back down the aisle as Mr and Mrs Couffaine. 
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full-of-roman-angst-trash · 4 years ago
Text
Where Did You Go?
This fanfic is dedicated to @moxy--sanders101! Congrats on 1k!!! You definitely deserve it!
Prompt by @transformationloveb
Orginal pompt
TW: Small Unsympathetic Virgil, Roman Angst, Cursing, Very Small Hint of Self Deprecation (Very easy to miss but added it just in case)
Pairings: Familial Creativity Twins (Don’t tag as R*mR*m) Platonic Roceit, Platonic Demus/Dukeciet
~~~~~~~~~
“Loooogggaannn!!! I’m starving!!!” I whine loudly, staring at Logan from my spot on the couch.
A groan responds to my whine.
“Remus shut the fuck up! I’m trying to follow this stupid recipe! If you’re actually starving, then stop being annoying and let me concentrate!”
Daddy dearest frowns a bit, “Logie, language!”
Another groan escapes the Nerdy Wolverine’s mouth, “Sorry, Patton.”
“It’s fine, Logie. Just take a deep breath; If you want, I can try and help you with supper.”
Logan takes a deep breath before sighing and putting the knife that he was using to try and cut some vegetables with, down. 
“There really isn’t a need. No matter what we do, the outcome won’t come out well.”
Virgin, who was sitting on the counter, rolls his eyes, “Geez, try having some faith, teach.” 
“Why should I have ‘faith’? In the past month that Roman has refused to leave his room. Any food that we have attempted to make has been unsatisfactory. I am merely basing my hypothesis on past data.”
"I was just trying to be optimistic...." The emo mumbles in response, shrinking into his hoodie. 
"Awwe Kiddo," Daddy goes over to Virgin and hugs him, "It's okay."
Four-eyes sighs, "My deepest apologies if I hurt your feeling Virgil, that was not my intention. I am merely just frustrated with our current predicament."
"Remus, can you try to convince Ro to come out out of his room again? Please?" The Old Man glances at me.
I throw myself off the couch and onto the floor. 
"I've tried, but Little Miss Tinkerbell refuses to come out until Double D over here leaves," I inform him.
Anxiety rolls his eyes and groans, “Oh my god! Can he just stop being so dramatic!? He’s such a crybaby! He’s literally hurting us just because Deceit made a snarky remark at him! Which was his fault since Deceit was defending himself from Roman’s bullying!”
His words ring in my ears and make a seething rage spread throughout my body, I was just about to defend my brother, but someone beats me to it. 
“Shut the fuck up, Anxiety,” The coldness and anger in Jan’s voice makes a shiver run through all of our spines. 
Anxiety turns to DeeDee with an annoyed and offended expression on his face.
“Excuse me!? I am literally defending you, and you tell me to shut up!?” Virgil glares at Janus.  
“Well, last time I checked, I didn’t ask you to defend me, now did I?” He stands up and starts making his way to our once ally, “Also, you weren’t there for that episode; you only know Patton’s side of the story. So you are in no position to speak about an issue you know barely know anything about.”
He stops right in front of Par-Anxiety and puts a hand on his shoulder passive-aggressively.
He smiles, yet it was an unsettling and scary smile, “You haven’t tried seeing things from his perspective or tried to be sympathetic and tried to understand why he reacted like that. On top of that, you have no right to declare his rebuttal as bullying.”
Anxiety swallows and slaps Jan’s hand away, “W-whatever...” He takes a step back, “I don’t understand why you’re defending that asshole!”
“CALL MY BROTHER ONE MORE NAME I DARE YOU!!!” I summon my morning star and point it at Anxiety, unable to hold my anger any longer.
The coward squeals and takes another step back, not responding.
I take a deep breath and put my morning star away before starting to walk away, “I’m going to talk to my brother.”
“Wait,” Janus grabs my wrist and stops me from going further, “Can I come with you, please? I wanna try and apologize to him...”
I know that Janus is the last person Ro wants to see, but I can’t really say no to Dee. I know Dee really regrets what he did, and well, I want Ro and Dee to get along.
I sigh softly, “Fine, but if he wants you to leave, please do.”
He nods, “Aright, that’s fine,” He lets go of my wrist and follows me to Roman’s room.
We get to Roman’s room, and I knock on the door softly, “Ro, it’s me, Rem. Can you please let me in?
It takes a while for me to get a response, but I know I would.
“A-are you alone....?” His voice is just barely loud enough for me to hear it.
I glance at Double D, noting his shocked expression, probably from him hearing Roman respond.
“No, I’m not,” I turn back to the door.
This time the wait for a response is much longer, “W-Who’s with you...?
I take a small deep breath, “Janus...”
Silence. That’s all that comes back at me. Suddenly though, the door opens and Roman -with messy, tangled hair, a plain black shirt and shorts, puffy red eyes and nose- looks at us.  
“C-Come in.....” 
He moves to let us in. We walk in, and I immediately notice the state of his room; All the posters he had up were ripped clean off, the fairy lights that were hanged on the wall were gone, plain white sheets replaced his rose bed sheets, and his closet wall that he had hand-painted designs into was repainted white. 
I bite my lip and try not to get upset at seeing my brother’s past confident and fiery love for his passions gone. I notice that Jan is looking down, and it was evident that he was also holding back his emotions. I hear Roman close the door; he walks over to his bed and sits down.
He avoids looking at us, “S-So, w-why are you guys h-here....?” 
I sit on the floor, Jan hesitantly sitting next to me, “Well, I think someone has to  tell you a few things.”
I turn to DeeDee and give him an encouraging smile. Roman stays quiet, just waiting for one of us to continue speaking.
Dee takes a deep breath, “Look, Roman...” He starts quietly, “I’m so so sorry... I know what I said wasn’t right, and it was way too far... There was a line, and I definitely crossed it... I’m sorry.”
His words seem to take a while for them to reach Roman; for a while, the room falls silent. 
“I’m sorry too,” Ro finally looks at us, his voice hushed, “For everything I’ve ever done to both of you... I wrongfully judged you guys and stereotyped y’all... Then I had the audacity to insult and make fun of you guys... So, I’m truly sorry...”
Dee smiles softly, “How about we start over?”
“Yeah,” A small smile creeps its way to Roman’s face, “I’d like that.”
“Okay, sorry to interrupt you guys’ moment,” I loudly interject, not really all that sorry, “But, dude, I’m starving, and we have to fix your room, it looks disgusting right now!”
The Disney whore lightheartedly rolls his eyes, “First of all, fine, we can fix my room later. And second of all, can’t you make your own food? I mean you literally eat deodorant.” 
I whine loudly, “You usually make my deodorant, though! You’re the only one that can cook anything good, stupid!” 
“Remus is, for once, correct Roman,” Janus butts in, completely ignoring my offended gasp, “We’ve tried to figure out how to cook, but sadly we’ve had no real success.”
 Mr.Depresso sighs and gets up, “Fine, I guess I can cook dinner again.”
I excitedly stand up, (almost accidentally slipping and crushing Jan) “Yay! Thanks, Hoe Bag!” 
He smacks me on the arm, “Dumb bitch,” He helps JD up.
“While this isn’t quite amusing, stop calling each other names. Also, thank you, Roman.” 
Prince crybaby huffs, “No problem and fine, I yield.”
“Well, I don’t! Now let’s go bitches!” I grab both of their hands and start running out of the room. 
They both follow without bothering to struggle. Once we get to the living room, I let go of their hands, pushing Roman forward slightly. 
“I got the dumbass!”
Everyone's attention turns to us.
Roman regains his balance from my shove and clears his throat awkwardly, going back to avoiding eye contact.
Suddenly, I scoff cuts through the silence, “Oh great, The egotistical prick is back.”
I immediately recognize the voice, and when I notice Roman flinch, all my anger from earlier came back.
“Stop Anxiety. May I remind you that he’s being nice enough to cook dinner for us. Something we don’t deserve after ignoring him and pushing him aside for so long,” Janie quickly responded.
I smirk, “Exactly! So, shut up bitch!”
Before he or any other side can say anything, I grab Janus’ and Roman’s hand and drag them to the kitchen.
As we’re walking there, I hear a small whisper.
“Thank you, guys. You two are the best.”
~~~~~~~~~
Writing Taglist
@just-violet-flowers @itriedandimtired @lilyrockerlove @random-fander
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skygirl5 · 4 years ago
Text
12 Prompts of Christmas - #8 - Snow
A/N: this prompt begins an all new AU ficlet
EIGHT - Snow
A shiver traveled up the spine of Richard Castle when a clump of snow fell from the branch of a tree above, landed on his neck, and slid down towards his collar bone. Grunting, he hunched his shoulders and zipped up his coat a bit higher, regretting his decision not to grab a scarf before he’d left his Manhattan apartment and traveled two hours north west to his wilderness destination. He’d just been very on-edge and frazzled meaning he’d probably forgotten more than just some warmer items, but he could manage; his trip was only a few days long.
His day had begun just after six a.m., which was at least an hour before he would have preferred to be awake. He’d had himself a quick cup of coffee—no time to savor that morning since he was on a time schedule—and then gone upstairs to wake his daughter. Thankfully, her luggage had been packed the night before (SHE had been the one to remind HIM that was a good idea), but he needed to get her breakfast and then pack some snacks for her to have on the plane.
They shared a quick breakfast together and then, with a heavy heart, he gathered up her things and they made their way to Penn Station to get the New Jersey Transit train to Newark. Since his daughter was a minor traveling alone, Castle was allowed to walk her to the gate and wait with her until it was time to board, at which point the airline representative took charge of her. They hugged goodbye and he’d managed to wait until he was back on the train to the city before letting a few tears fall. The first Christmas without his daughter was definitely going to be as hard as he thought it would be, which was why he’d planned what he thought was a good distraction.
Back at his apartment he wasted almost no time throwing belongings into a suitcase of his own. Then, he got his car out of the garage, and began the two-hour drive towards northern Pennsylvania. He’d heard about the cabin from a friend of his and thankfully the owner said it was still available over the Christmas holiday even though he had only called a few weeks before, once his ex-wife Meredith had officially confirmed that, yes, she wanted Alexis to visit for Christmas.
When he thought he was nearing the cabin, Rick pulled off into the first grocery store he spotted and shopped for some essentials. He made it to the cabin about twenty minutes later and surveyed the interior, which had been advertised as “rustic” and certainly fit the descriptor. The interior had rustic looking wood panels on the walls and exposed beams on the ceiling. The furniture was obviously well used, and the kitchen appliances looked nearly as old as he was, but for a few nights it would do.
Though he hoped to get a fair amount of writing done in his free-from-distractions environment, Castle first knew that he wanted to explore the surrounding woods and lake, which were, after all, the main draw of that location.
He started out walking along the road, which was not the best due to a narrow berm made narrower by piles of plowed snow. After about ten minutes of walking, he noticed a path through the trees and hoped over the plowed banks of snow to access it. The path was well covered in footprints from both humans and dogs by the looks of it and it was paved beneath the cover of snow, which meant he wasn’t slipping or tripping on the uneven forest floor. About fifteen minutes into his stroll he was hit by the falling snow, but he didn’t let it bother his forest exploration. It was so tranquil and quiet. He hadn’t experienced such a walk since that summer when he’d walked down the beach in the Hamptons.
As Rick walked, he tried not to think. Maybe if he was in a different headspace he would have used the time to plot, plan, or think up dialog for his latest book, but in that moment, the turmoil in his chest was too great. He was so distracted with worry over Alexis that he knew that concern could soon consume him and he didn’t want that, so he used the walk as a meditation of sorts. He tried to keep his mind as clear as possible and if he had to think about something, he tried to focus on what he saw in front of him: trees stripped bare of their leaves now that autumn had come and gone, a small bird sitting on a naked branch, some rocks and stones on the ground.
When he came to a divergence of the path, he chose the one to his left, which seemed less traveled. In fact, the further he walked, the less footprints he saw marking the path. After what he estimated to be about twenty minutes, he grew concerned that he was going to become a bit lost and thought about turning back to the divergence and taking the opposite path which might lead him back to the main road when something caught his eye.
The path was well defined enough for him to see it curved to the right up ahead, but to the left he could see distinct footprints in the snow. The virgin fluff was otherwise undisturbed, but for the distinct walking path that cut directly through a cluster of trees. He walked over to the footprints and couched down. From a closer vantage point he could see they were crisscrossed with prints from a small animal, perhaps a rabbit, but were otherwise lone markings in the newly fallen snow.
Intrigued, several scenarios started to spin in his mind, and he decided to follow them to see where they went. He liked to use his story-on-the-fly exercises to keep his creative juices flowing. At that moment in particular, it would continue to serve as a distraction for him and keep his mind off his daughter.
Were the footprints made by a hunter stalking his prey? An old man missing his deceased spouse and going on a ramble in the quiet early morning? Or perhaps a mischievous child determined to explore, just like he had done during his younger days.
Rick took two steps forward but then thought better of it. Was leaving the designated path really a good idea when he was already feeling a bit lost? Probably not. Disappointed, but knowing it was for the best, he began to turn around when something up ahead caught his eye. Dangling from a tree branch about fifteen steps ahead he saw a green scrap of fabric, notable as all the green was gone from the trees. Curious, he walked forward, but when he reached out to touch the item it immediately fell to the ground; it had evidently barely been hanging on.
Castle scooped the green object from the snow and realized it was actually a green knitted mitten. He glanced between the mitten and the tree for several moments then realized this made sense. The mitten had been hanging at about hip-height in comparison to his stance. It was entirely possible the mitten had been in the coat pocket of the snow footprint maker and was snagged out by the branch.
Still holding the glove, Castle couched down again and examine the footprints ahead of him. In comparison to his own shoes they seemed a bit shorter and definitely narrower. His first thought was that they looked to be from a woman’s boot, and that would have made sense given that the glove in his hand was more feminine than not.
Now even more curious, he found himself unable to turn back and instead pressed on. The thicker the trees grew, the more difficult it was to proceed. He was constantly being hit in the shoulders and arms with twigs and sticks, but he kept going. Sometimes he needed to crouch down closer to the ground to see what direction the footprints were traveling, especially where the thick trees had prevented a lot of snow from falling.
More than a few times during his twenty-minute journey he’d been fearful that he might never find his way to a clearing, and then what would he do? Surely his cell phone wouldn’t work that far into the middle of nowhere. Thankfully, he could soon see a clearing ahead and let the panic dissipate from his mind and instead focused on how he might use his experience in a novel. Perhaps Derrick Storm could track an enemy through the woods—or maybe even a potential lover. Maybe both!
As the trees began to thin, the lake came into view, and Castle smiled to himself; he’d made it through the wilderness! He was so relieved that he almost forgot about the green glove he still held until he stepped into the clearing and caught sight of a figure by the lake. She was tall and wearing a long quilted coat as she stood just a few feet from the edge of the lake. With a grey and green striped hat on her head, he couldn’t tell much about her—at least not from that distance.
The clearing he stepped into gave him about twenty feet of clearance before it turned into the rocky shore of the lake. No other people or structures were in sight, though a low hanging cloud reduced visibility significantly. He took two steps towards her, his boots crunching against the newly fallen snow, then stopped when she turned in his direction just slightly. She brushed some of the hair back from her cheeks with bare fingers enabling him to see her profile. Instantly, the breath was sucked from his lungs for she was one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen.
Thinking she might have turned in his direction due to the sound of his walking, he decided to approach cautiously. He walked forward, closer to the lakes edge, before cutting over in her direction. From that spot he could see more of her face: her petite nose and the slash of her well-defined cheekbone, in addition to the hints of her honey-brown eyes, which to him appeared heavy with sadness.
He took several more steps closer before saying softly, “Excuse me?” Despite what he thought was a delicate approached, she still jumped at the sound of his voice, so he apologized. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to startle you. I just…I found this and wondered if it was yours?”
When he held up the glove, her eyes widened with recognition. She glanced down at herself, stuffed her hands in her coat pockets, and only came out with one glove. “Oh, yes, thank you! That must have fallen out of my pocket somehow.”
He gave an easy smile and walked forward to pass the glove off to her. “No problem.”
She took the glove with another thank you and said, “You startled me; I didn’t realize anyone else was out here.”
He nodded in the direction over his shoulder and said, “I came from the trees…I just got here, was wandering around. Glad I didn’t get lost to be honest.”
“Are you renting one of the cabins for Christmas?”
“Mmhm. Are you?”
She shook her head. “No; my family owns one.”
He nodded. Her jaunt through the trees made more sense if she was a resident of the area and thus probably not as likely to get lost unlike a newcomer such as himself. “I see. I’m Rick, by the way.”
When he extended out his hand, she shook it and introduced herself as, “Kate.”
He took a moment to study her face now that he could see it closer up. She was definitely younger than him by more than a few years; he guessed her to be in her early twenties. Her eyes were indeed filled with an unexplained sadness, but her smile was warm and friendly. Though he’d wished to speak with her more, his gut told him he should leave her to her solitude, so he reluctantly decided to part ways. “Well it was nice to meet you and I hope you have a good holiday.” He rocked back on his heels, glancing out at the lake for a moment, but then looking back to her with a pit of a pitiful expression. “I, um, well seeing as you’ve probably been here before, perhaps you could point me in the right direction so I’m not circling this lake for hours? I’m afraid I got turned around.”
“What’s the address of your cabin?”
He laughed, having no idea; fortunately he still had the directions in his jacket pocket. “What an excellent question. Hold on. Um…” He hesitated while he skimmed through the folded up piece of paper. “Ah, here its: 817 lakeview.”
Kate nodded and pointed towards his left. “That way. About halfway around that big curve.”
“Thanks so much.”
“Not a problem. Happy holidays Rick.”
“You too,” he echoed. Then, he turned, shoved his hands down into his coat pockets, and trudged his way through the thickly laying snow.
32 notes · View notes
schrijverr · 4 years ago
Text
A Bad Day
Jonny wakes up feeling sick, but instead of resting and sleeping it off he tries to pretend nothing is wrong in order not to be seen as vulnerable. When he finally collapses Ashes and Tim are there to take care of him.
On AO3
Ships: none
Warning: Jonny vomits. Tell me if I missed anything of if you want me to tag something! :)
~~~~~~~~~~~
Jonny woke up with a headache and a sore throat. He groaned and rolled onto his side, slapping his nightstand in the dark until his hand had found his gun and he could shoot himself through the head, hoping he would come to feeling a bit better.
When he awoke again, nothing had changed, except for the headache, which had gotten worse.
Groaning again, Jonny allowed himself to mope in his bed for a few more seconds, before he forced himself into an upright position.
The world spun around him and he felt nauseous, but after a few moments of heavy blinking and clamping his mouth shut, he managed to get up and to the shower. On the way there he almost fell over a couple of times and the bright light felt like it stabbed him.
In the end he got through his morning ritual, choosing to take a sitting shower in the dark where he skipped over most the actual cleaning and opted for less belts than normal.
It was pretty unusual for a Mechanism to get a sickness that stuck after a death, but it did happen. Raphaella had once told him something about antibodies running out or something. Jonny didn’t really know, he hadn’t been paying attention.
He also didn’t really care, because that did not help him feel less terrible. He briefly considered climbing back into bed and just sleeping this whole thing off, but he knew someone would go check up on him and the last thing he wanted was for anyone to think of him as weak and, he reasoned with himself, he wasn’t feeling that bad anyway, so why waste a day?
Jonny already regretted his decision by the time he got to the kitchen. He was cold and shaky on his feet and the lights were making his head pulse with pain.
Stumbling around, he was glad no one was there to see him as he got himself some cereal, since his stomach was also still quite upset and he didn’t feel like vomiting. With his cereal in hand he slumped down at the counter and mechanically spooned the breakfast into his mouth.
Halfway through he wanted to give up. The cereal was sitting heavy in his stomach and he had to swallow twice after each bite to make sure it actually stayed down.
He was about to shove the bowl away when Raphaella entered with a big plate of steaming breakfast food in her hands and sat down next to Jonny. She began to chatter excitedly about some sort of experiment she was doing, something about the resistance of octokitten skin and ray guns.
Jonny wasn’t really paying attention.
Instead he was focusing on not vomiting, since he had returned to his cereal, trying to keep up the facade. But the smell and noise was not helping him at all.
Raphaella was still talking, not minding Jonnys silence at all. He had managed to finish his cereal and was glad that he now had an excuse to leave. He lied: “Very interesting, Raph, I’m sure. But I promised Marius I’d help him reorganize, so I have to go now.”
“Oh, of course. Can you take this with you for me?” Raphaella got a file out of her pocket and explained: “He wanted me to test all our medicine, so he really needs them today for his organization, since you’re already going you can give them to him.”
Internally Jonny cursed, he’d wanted to go and maybe lie down on a couch (doing nothing on purpose was different, so he could lie on the couch and feel miserable), but now Raphaella and Marius would find out something was up if he didn’t go bring him that stupid file.
Wordlessly he accepted the file and got up. His knees almost buckled, but he could catch himself on time on the table, going unnoticed by Raphaella.
He started walking.
It was the most painful thing he had ever done despite the fact that he had died in so many ways. Every step echoed around in his head and the lights pulsated above him making the world spin while the food churned in his stomach.
The med bay came in sight and he could almost cry with relief, since he would be able to sit and relax for just a moment.
With the last of his power he pushed open the door and threw himself into a waiting chair (he did not know why they had them, but he wasn’t going to argue with this gift) as he held out the file to a startled Marius.
When Marius gave him a questioning look he stated: “From Raph.”
“Ah.” Marius clapped his hands, making Jonny wince, and took the file: “She’s done, great. I’m reorganizing my cabinets by deadliness. Why are you bringing this anyway?”
“Nothing better to do.” Jonny shrugged, sagging further into the chair.
“Oh, great! You can help me then.” Marius smiled and hauled Jonny out of the chair, depositing him on the floor between bottles and handing him one of the papers from the file.
“What?” Jonny asked, disoriented by the sudden movement.
“You’re helping me.” Marius repeated himself, “You just said you had nothing better to do and I can use the extra hands or eyes. Just put the right bottles from each category with each other.”
And with that he turned away, leaving Jonny on the cold floor to struggle through this task. The letters were small and the concentration it took him to read them hurt. The lights were also bright in the med bay and the food was still rebelling in his stomach.
He wanted to leave, he should have stayed in bed and never come out, but it was too late now and if he left, Marius would get mad, maybe even yell and that would hurt too and he’d have to get up in order to leave. Getting up seemed like a lot of work right now.
So he sat and he struggled and he hurt.
With the additional hurdles that came with sickness, it took them until lunch to get all the filing done. The fact that Marius hadn’t noticed something was up with Jonny, only cemented the idea that the other wasn’t really a doctor in Jonnys mind.
By the time they were done, the coldness had seeped into Jonnys bones and he was shivering slightly while a man with a hammer was seemingly on a rampage inside his head, the only saving grace was that his stomach had decided that the food was okay to stay for now.
That wasn’t about to last, however.
Marius had decided he would make a nice lunch for Jonny as a thank you and had dragged the other with him to the kitchen.
The only thing good about that was that Marius literally dragged him along, so Jonny didn’t have to focus so hard on staying upright and he would be closer to the room with all the couches when this was all over.
Jonny picked at the food in front of him, it was toast with eggs and bacon, Jonnys favourite, but now the smell alone was enough to trigger his gag reflex, however with Marius beside him he just powered through, focusing on swallowing and making sure it stayed swallowed.
When Marius was done, he gave Jonny a look and asked: “Are you alright?”
“Yeah, just enjoying.” Jonny grimaced while attempting a smile.
“Sure.” Marius didn’t look like he believed him, but he also didn’t have the time, so he went on, “Enjoy away, I say. I have to go, though, but thanks for the help, really.”
Jonny gave him a thumbs up and waited until the door was closed behind him, before spitting out the bite he had taken and shoving the plate away.
He cradled his head in his hands and tried to do breathing exercises to keep the rest of the food down. He hunched over and screwed his eyes shut, hoping to drown out the pain from the lights with little to no success.
Then he heard heavy footsteps and quickly sat up, trying to pretend nothing was up. Soon after Brian walked into the room and greeted Jonny: “Ah, just the person I was looking for.”
“How so?” Jonny asked, his voice a bit deeper and gravelly than normal.
“I’ve had this melody stuck in my head for days and I think it has potential, but I wanted to run it by someone, before throwing it into the group and you’re the most honest when it comes to this.” Brian told him, “So can I run it past you?”
Jonny wanted to whimper at the thought of listening to music, but instead he said: “Sure, Brian.”
He got up on shaky legs and tried to keep up with Brians long strides to the practice room. There Brian grabbed his banjo and started playing a few notes.
Every note rang through Jonnys skull and he flinched and winced at all of them as he tried to stay on two feet, leaning heavily against the cold wall. He tried to listen, tried to keep up the facade, but it wasn’t enough and after a while Brian asked: “That bad, eh?”
The sad note cut through the haze in Jonnys head and he shook it, which was a bad decision, since he glided to the ground, and said with raspy voice: “No, sorry, just headache.”
Brian could see that it was much more than a headache, with the flush high on his cheeks while he shivered and swallowed heavily. Brian sighed: “Oh, Jonny, you should have said so. Here let me get you to a couch so you can lie down for a moment.”
Jonny tried to wave him away, telling him that he was fine, so Brian played the ace up his sleeve: “Please, it’ll make me feel better after I forced you to listen to me with a headache.”
With his pride in tact through the excuse, Jonny agreed.
Brian did not miss how heavily he leaned on him on the short track to the couch room, as they creatively called the room with all the couches, nor did he miss the slight tremble that was visible in all of Jonnys limbs.
With Brian telling him sternly to stay on the couch, Jonny closed his eyes and sank into the pillows content to doze the rest of the day away in the hope he would feel better when he woke up.
No such peace was in the cards for Jonny, however. Since he was awoken by gunfire not even half an hour later. Each round fired felt like it had lodged itself inside his head, which he grabbed in despair as he curled into himself on the couch.
When the fighting got closer, he peered over the couch to see Ashes seething and shooting at a grinning Tim, who was running away from them while firing as much rounds as he could over his shoulder.
Jonny did not know what Tim had done to earn Ashes wrath, but he picked their side anyway, wishing that whatever Tim had done, he’d done it on literally any other day.
He groaned again and flopped back onto the couch, effectively catching Tims attention, who took one look at him and commented: “You look terrible.”
Immediately feeling the need to not seem vulnerable, Jonny shot up, ignoring the fact that he’d almost blacked out at the action and with a gruff voice he stated: “Do not.” before shooting Tim in the head, nearly dropping his gun with the recoil and the loud bang.
Ashes walked in, curious to see why the shooting had stopped. They gave Tim one look and said: “Ahw, man, I wanted to do that.”
“Serves you right for being annoying.” Jonny groused, not regretting solving the loud noise problem.
He did regret it a bit when Ashes shot him in the head for it, but it’s hard to feel sorry for yourself when you’re dead.
Waking up with an even worse headache, Jonny did feel sorry for himself as he tried not to cry or vomit from the pain of the lights and the loud arguing next to him.
He wanted to tell them to shut up, but in order to do that he had to use his throat and his throat hurt right now. He would also need to pretend to be functional again, instead of just lying there pretending to be dead and feeling miserable. So, he just laid there and listened.
“It wasn’t me, I swear.” Tim said.
“Who else could it be, Tim. It’s a gun, of course you stole it.” Ashes sounded annoyed.
“Yeah, a ray gun. I don’t like those, but Raphaella wanted one for her latest experiment, why don’t you suspect her?” Tim argued.
“Because she already borrowed one of my ray guns.” Ashes sounded smug, “And the one that went missing has been on your radar for millennia.”
It wasn’t stopping, their voiced just got louder with every sentence and Jonny wanted to scream, but at this point he wasn’t sure he could do that.
He coughed and, with his cover as dead person blown, he got up and looked at them, shutting down the argument for exactly three seconds while they looked at him.
“Having fun without me?” he asked, how he had managed to sound like a person, he did not know. He only knew that it had hurt.
Jonny could slap himself over that comment. He wanted to get out of this situation. Ashes and Tim were precisely the two people he did not want to find out he was feeling unwell, but now he was just further inserting himself into the situation.
“Yes, tell Ashes I didn’t steal their ray gun.” Tim demanded.
“Tell Tim he has to give it back.” Ashes returned loudly.
“Just give them the gun back, Tim. It’s not worth it.” he finally told him, neither noticing the rough state of his voice.
He could not see the smug grin Ashes gave Tim through the pulsing of the lights, but he could hear Tims indignant reply, very clearly and loudly: “Why are you taking Ashes’ side? I’m innocent, I don’t even want their stupid ray gun. You don’t get to accuse me like that!”
“We’re pirates, we steal things.” Jonny whispered, giving up on trying to sound normal in favor of hurting less, “If you’re really that innocent, let them search your room.”
Jonny didn’t know if it was the sudden change in volume or the fact that he was not further instigating violence that tipped them off, but both stopped arguing to really look at Jonny and their anger at each other turned into concern.
He was as white as a sheet, shivering and sweating with hooded glazed over eyes as he flinched away from the bright light and coughed slightly.
Carefully Ashes asked: “You okay, Jonny?”
The chuckle Jonny let out, soon turned into a full of coughing fit. While he was hacking up a lung, he was also fighting against his stomach, which wasn’t happy with all the food Jonny had forced into it to keep everyone happy and off his back.
So when he gasped for breath, his stomach took the opportunity to force the food out of his system and he vomited all over himself.
Looking down the whole day came crashing over him, from the miserable beginning to every little thing that had gone wrong, and he started crying, just heaving sobs of despair that hurt his head, but he couldn’t stop.
Ashes and Tim had both frozen in their place when Jonny had vomited and they did not know what to do about the crying.
After a few moments of hesitation, Tim knelt down next to Jonny and gently put a hand on his shoulder as he asked: “Hey, it’s alright. Is there anything we can do?”
Jonny sagged into the touch and continued crying, before he vomited again and whimpered: “Wanna be done, want this to be over. Not icky anymore.”
With everything that had happened, this sickness had finally taken down Jonnys last defenses and all he craved was comfort, warmth and to be clean, not caring who gave it to him or the fact that they did at all.
Luckily for him, both Ashes and Tim had a strong older sibling instinct. Ashes had developed theirs in the orphanage and Tim in the trenches with the younger soldiers, so when they came face to face with the vulnerable, crying and sick Jonny who was covered in vomit, their first reaction was to take care of him.
Ashes was the strongest of the two, so they swept him up into a bridal-carry and, minding their volume around Jonny, they told Tim: “Open the doors for me.”
Tim nodded and followed after Ashes. When it became clear Ashes wasn’t heading for Jonnys bedroom, he asked: “Where are we going?”
“I have a bath in my room and I am not holding him up in the shower. Besides if it’s gotten to this point, he must’ve woken up feeling terrible, so his bed will smell.” Ashes answered.
“Won’t it be weird to bathe him.” Tim asked, a bit on the fence about Ashes plan.
“Look at him, Tim.” Ashes said as they stopped allowing Tim to take a proper look at Jonny.
He looked miserable. The vomit that was covering him was soaking into his clothes and Ashes was sure he would’ve passed out if every jostle didn’t hurt enough to make him whimper and curl into their chest, shivering slightly.
All in all he was a mess.
“We didn’t notice how sick he was. We caused this. Wouldn’t you want anyone to help you when they found you like this?” Ashes asked him.
Tim looked a bit guilty and said: “You’re right, of course you are, I know that. It just feels weird, it isn’t right that Jonny is like this.”
He had a point. Every since the beginning, Jonny had been strong. He was the first one and he knew Carmilla best, so he was usually bait or taking the blame and after she was gone, he just kept on being their support pillar. So it was really disconcerting to see him as anything, but strong.
“Yeah…” Ashes trailed off and they stood there in silence for a moment, lost in memories.
Then Jonny coughed and Ashes quickly started walking again. They could feel all the tremors that wracked through his small frame and they wanted to get him warm as soon as possible.
Reaching their chambers, Ashes bee-lined for the bathroom where they set Jonny down on the toilet, ordering Tim to keep him upright as they drew him a bath.
Jonny swayed from side to side, never truly seeing Tim, who was holding both his shoulders and gently tried to make contact with him: “Hey, Jonny. Jonny, I need you to look at me. We’re going to need to undress you in order to get you into the bath. Jonny, hey, hey, look at me, look at me, Jonny. We need to undress you, is that okay? Jonny?”
Blinking and frowning, Jonny made a small noise.
Tim asked: “Jonny? Is that a yes? Come on, just a few seconds then you can go back into your head. Just work with me, Jonny.”
They knew Jonny would probably be okay with them getting him out of the clothes, but undressing him might trigger him and they didn’t want that. They had also worked too hard on helping Jonny set boundaries for himself to just ruin that.
So despite the fact that the bath was nearly full, Tim and Ashes, who had just joined him, kept talking to Jonny until he roughly whispered: “Yeah, no clothes, okay.”
With his consent they gently peeled the disgusting clothes off of him and threw them into the corner of the bathroom. It took the both of them to make sure he didn’t fall off the toilet, but soon Jonny was completely undressed and Ashes was able to lower him into the bath.
The bath was warm, not lukewarm, but not hot either. Jonny hadn’t been running a fever just yet, only feeling cold and clammy to the touch, so Ashes had deemed it safe enough and it wouldn't necessarily be the end of the world if Jonny died.
Jonny did make a small disgruntled noise, when he was picked up again and groaned at the sudden movement, but that changed into a soft sigh when his body met the warm water and he went nearly boneless in the heat.
Ashes let him soak for a few moments, making sure he didn’t accidentally drown himself.
The creases of discontent smoothed out a bit and the shivering stopped along with the clattering teeth.
However, he kept his eyes screwed shut and small coughs still escaped him.
They were sure the headache hadn’t disappeared and the steam wasn’t helping in keeping him hydrated to chase away the pain. So they turned to Tim and said: “Grab a towel and a sweater out of my closet. Then go make him some tea with honey if we have that and grab some of his boxers.”
Glad to have something to do, to be useful, Tim didn’t protest to being ordered around and started doing as he was told.
Ashes grabbed a washcloth and gently started to wipe Jonny down, careful to keep it above the waist as they tried to rid him as much as they could of the sticky sickly feeling. When they were done with that, they cupped the back of Jonny head as they lowered him further under, to wet his hair.
Jonny was pliant and still in their hands. He melted into their touch when they started to massage shampoo into the sweaty hair. He swayed, eyes now half open as he stared straight through reality with hazy eyes.
It really was weird to see him so vulnerable, Ashes thought, before lowering him again to rinse out the shampoo. They needed to fix this, get their Jonny back.
At that point Tim returned with his arms full of fabric and a teacup in his hand, which Ashes quickly took from him before he could drop it and put it down on the counter.
“How is he?” Tim asked.
“Less cold, but still.” Ashes replied, “I think he’s feeling better and he’s at least clean, but he still out of it. I don’t know what he caught, but it really hacked into him.”
“So, what’s our next move.” Tim put the clothes down and grabbed the towel.
“I take him out of the bath and put him on the toilet again. You need to wrap him up in the towel immediately, since we don’t want him to get cold. Pat him dry and get him dressed, before we force him to drink something.” Ashes said.
Tim nodded and they set to work. Jonny whined when he was lifted from the bath, but he did not have the strength to struggle.
While Tim was drying Jonny, Ashes looked at the sweater he’d taken. It was a black one with a skeleton design on it. It was a bit dumb, but they liked it because it was soft and warm, so it had been a good choice.
Getting Jonny dressed was another struggle. In the bath he had regained enough cognitive functions to be embarrassed about needing the help and he was trying to fight them off, voicelessly protesting that he could dress himself.
His arguments fell apart on the fact that he needed Tims help to even stay seated, so Ashes just forced him into the clothes while they grumbled: “Yeah, yeah, I know. Me and Tim are the assholes for trying to help you, we should’ve just left you sitting in your own vomit.”
It was not the right thing to say.
Jonny had enough mental capacity to be embarrassed, but not enough to be able to cope with the idea of the source of comfort, which he secretly craved and didn’t want to go away, to leave. And he also wasn’t able to put together that Ashes hadn’t meant that.
His lip wobbled and silent tears started to leak out of his eyes again. Tim quickly reassured him: “Don’t cry, Jonny, please don’t cry. Ashes didn’t mean it, I swear. You’re doing good.”
Tim did not know why he had tagged the last comment on there, but he saw the way Jonnys eyes lit up with hope at the praise, so he said: “Yeah, that’s it. So well, look at you all dressed. Can you be good and drink this tea for me?”
Jonny nodded eagerly, immediately wincing at the action, before allowing Tim to hold the cup to his mouth while he drank carefully.
When he was done, Tim said: “Good job, buddy. Ashes is going to lift you now okay?”
Blinking heavily, Jonny frowned at Tim, before nodding slowly and giving Tim a dazed smile, then Ashes moved to lift him again and the movement caused the frown to return. The swooping motion made his head spin and he made a noise to signal he was about to vomit again.
Luckily Ashes caught on to it and held him above the toilet while he retched and heaved miserably as the tears started back up again.
Once he was done Ashes cradled him close and whispered: “It’s alright, Jonny. It’s over now, you’re done, it’s alright. That must have sucked, I know, but it’s alright, shhh, don’t worry.” they turned to Tim and said: “Take the bin.”
Then they walked out to their bedroom which they’d kept dark to minimize the pain, still rocking Jonny gently, until they could put him down on the bed. They gently set him down and tucked him in under the covers, before taking the bin and setting it down next to the bed as they told Jonny to use it if he had to vomit again.
When they and Tim both started to walk out of the room, wanting to give Jonny privacy to be sick in peace, they were stopped by a whine.
Looking back they saw Jonny pout in distress and when they asked him what was wrong, he croaked: “Leave me?”
“Yes, we’re giving you your peace, don’t worry, Jonny.” Tim said.
“No, no leave me.” Jonny told him fearfully.
“You want us to stay?” Tim asked, giving Ashes a look.
Jonny nodded slightly and flushed as he said: “Please?”
Unable to deny Jonny anything when he looked so young and vulnerable the two agreed and sat down on the edge of the bed. But it seemed that was not what Jonny had wanted from them, because he frowned and wiggled, although he did not dare to say anything.
Ashes caught on to it, however, and asked: “Is there something else we can do for you, Jonny?”
Jonny bit his lip, worrying it between his teeth, before shyly asking: “Hug?”
Now it was Ashes giving Tim a look. Tim shrugged and said: “What is more pirate than ignoring duties and sleeping for a bit. Beside this way you can make sure he actually gets to the bin in time.”
Making a face that said: ‘that’s fair’. Ashes followed Tims example and started to crawl up the bed to give Jonny a hug.
In the end he got sandwiched between them. Ashes near the door and bin and Tim against the wall. Jonny had gone boneless in the hug and had fallen asleep with a content smile on his face as he burrowed into Ashes chest, while Tim spooned him from behind.
They later got found by Brian, who’d been send out to look for them when they hadn’t showed up for dinner. When they explained what had happened, he just took the vomit clothes from the bathroom and told them he would check up on them later and save them some food.
It took Jonny three days of being cuddled and loved before he returned to normal, which made it even more a pain in the ass to take care of him since he was still sick, but they managed and soon Jonny was back to his bastard self.
He did thank Tim and Ashes, though, but it was never brought up again. Not even when he crawled into their beds again after a nightmare, knowing he would be safe there.
49 notes · View notes
bloodyshadow1 · 4 years ago
Text
Beaujester week 2020 Day 3 Dance
    Jester was bored and disappointed.  When they, The Mighty Nein, received word that the Empire was holding a royal ball in celebration of the war with the Dynasty coming to a quick close, she had been excited.  She had been extra excited when she found out that they were going to be on the guest list due to their efforts to push for peace.  She thought it would be nice to be at a big party where there would be nice music, fancy people in fancy clothes, expensive food, it was supposed to be something out of a fairytale.  
    The others weren’t into it, at least not as much as Jester.  Veth seemed okay with the fancy food, but regretted that she couldn’t bring Yeza, the Empire still believed he was either dead or a Dynasty prisoner, she couldn’t afford to reveal him.  Caduceus was optimistic, at least he seemed to be okay with going, to him it was just another party like the one in Nicodranas.  Fjord was cautious, he didn’t think it would be great for all of them to go since they tend to be embarrassments, but his opinion didn’t really matter.  Caleb was being cautious too, both a bit too much and a bit too little, like he normally was when it came to the Assembly and their wizards.  Yasha seemed ambivalent, she didn’t mind but crowds would make her uncomfortable. 
Beau…, Beau seemed the most against going,  Jester understood why, Beau didn’t like fancy clothes or expensive food, she had grown up a rich girl in a big house and hated every moment of it.  Jester was glad that she got Beau the suit that she seems to love to wear instead of a dress.  She looked nice, really pretty, in Jester’s red dress, but she didn’t look right.  In the suit that Jester bought her though, she looked amazing, pretty and handsome…, it didn’t matter.  Still, as a member of the Cobalt Soul Beau had to be present in case anything was said or she could overhear anything that the Soul would require.  Yudala Fon would be there as the High Curator of the Rexentrum branch of the Soul, but they would be watched fair more intently by the Cerberus Assembly or other powers in the Empire who saw the Soul as a threat.  Beauregard as a younger member who wasn’t wearing the raiments of the Soul, it would be easier for to move among the crowd unnoticed.  
It wasn’t fair to Beau, but Jester was happy that they were going to the ball held by the King.  At least she had been, now that they’re here, it was so boring.  They split up once they got inside which wasn’t so bad since it was the plan, Caleb went off with Veth, with Fjord and Caduceus nearby to intercept any wizards who might try to corner him.  Jester went off with Yasha and Beau, but they got separated in the crowds.  It was easy to see Yasha who was a head taller than most of the guests that were invited, and her size made them part like water before her.  Despite her trepidation, Beau managed to blend in with the crowd better than anyone in the group.
The people were so boring, they were all dressed in clothes worth thousands of gold and they were mostly boring.  Men in suits or robes, women in the newest fashions that they could afford, that left them all looking pretty much the same.  The food was okay, it was definitely expensive, but nothing like the spread at the party thrown in Nicodranas before the war.  The music was okay too, if Jester was being charitable, it was a couple musicians playing classical Dwendalian music.  There were no vocals, not that there was a way to compete with the Ruby of the Sea, but it was very plain classic songs.  There were people dancing, but it was the boring kind of dancing that was slow and none of the couples looked all that happy with their partner.  
Jester was quickly set upon by a few men who seemed eager to spend time with the exotic looking blue woman in the outlandish dress.  Currently she was dancing with a young man who was taller than her with sandy blond hair, Someone Something who was the Son of Someoneelse who owned land Somewhere.  He had said it a few times when he introduced himself, apparently his family was one of the wealthiest and most powerful amongst Jester’s would be suitors so the rest backed off for now so Jester couldn’t even use one of them as an excuse.  
“You truly have the most wonderful eyes Ms. Jester,” he said with his eyes looking far more south than her eyes.  
“Thank you,” Jester tried to say as nicely as she could.  He had been at least slightly charming and good looking enough at first and Jester had always wanted to dance at a fancy ball like this so she had agreed to a dance.  Three dances later,  his leery eye and braggadocious attitude had gotten old, and this was their forth dance together.  “For the compliment and the dance, unfortunately I have something I must attend to,” she said curtsying and before turning away.
“Oh come now,” The man said, grabbing her wrist to stop her, “one more dance.”
“I’m sorry,” Jester said evenly, she could tell the man was trying to show off how strong he was with the wrist grabbing.  “But unfortunately, like I said I have things to do so I need to leave.”
“I don’t think you understand,” the man said, his faux charming tone dropped, “I have decided that a lovely woman like you is just what I need to make this night entertaining and I always get what I want.”  The grip he had on Jester’s wrist tightened, to make his point.
This man might be a threat to other young women, but Jester had faced far more dangerous men and monsters.  A spoiled brat that couldn’t take a no, that was the reason why she had to leave Nicodranas in the first place, she wasn’t afraid of him.  “I understand perfectly,” Jester said, easily breaking the angry man’s grip with her deceptive strength, shocking the man.  “You are a spoiled brat and very rude.  I agreed to dance with you and I have, now I am done because I don’t want to dance with you anymore.  You’re making a scene and I am not going to humor you any longer.”
The man’s face turned red, then purple, as Jester told him off he looked ready to shout at her but before he could Jester was interrupted.  “There you are my dear,” Beau came striding over as if she was some puffed up noble, “I know you enjoy dancing with the menfolk, but really I think you’ve spent enough time teasing,” she said and offered Jester a hand away.
For a moment Jester could stare at Beau, looking so beautiful in her suit, coming over to rescue her like a knight in shining armor from the stories.  But it was the way Beau looked at her that made Jester feel warm, her big blue eyes burned with a desire to protect Jester.  It didn’t matter if Jester could have handled things, Jester was just glad Beau came to help her.  With a giggle and a curtsy Jester took Beau’s hand. “I’m sorry my love,” she said playing along, “but I wouldn’t have to spend as much time teasing if you would just dance with me.  It’s not my fault I have to seek out other forms of entertainment while you indulge in the buffet.”
“Excuse me,” the young man Jester was dancing with said interrupting them, “I was talking to her.”
Beau gave the man child a haughty look up and down, and laughed at him, “and now I’m talking to her, and I’m much more important than you are so go away.”
“I’ll have you know I can -,”
“Can what,” Beau cut him off.  “Can get into a fight with your betters and humiliate your family, to the point where your father puts you aside for one of your numerous bastard siblings?  Go away, you’re not worth it when I have my sweet to talk to.”
For a moment the man seemed like he wanted to say something, but while Jester, for all her power looked sweet and innocent. Beau, with her face covered in scars and hard eyes didn’t.  “You haven’t heard the last of me,” he shouted with his tail between his legs.
“Now that that’s over,” Beau said, “you want to dance,” she asked the other woman at the other end of her arm as Beau of the Mighty Nein, her best friend, her roommate, her something more. 
“Yeah,” Jester said smiling, she wanted to dance with her monk in a sharp suit.
This is late, and I’ll admit the ending wasn’t my favorite, but it’s already late and I made the mistake of going into the Beaujester tag for inspiration, but while there were good art and stories, there are so many assholes in the tag bitching and moaning about how their ship is better than others and garbage like that.  That much negativity just sucks the creativity out of me. Still, I did my best to push through and finish this. I hope you enjoy it
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prettywordsyouleft · 5 years ago
Text
Guilty As Charged
Summary: You couldn’t think of anything worth being dragged off in Chan’s police car back to the station and yet he was insistent you had done something wrong.
Pairing: Bang Chan x reader
Genre: police officer au / friends to lovers
Warnings: none
A/N: Another dream strikes again. How I survived the concept of Chan in uniform, I still don’t know.
Word count: 1385
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Glancing into the rear-view mirror again, you chewed on your bottom lip, growing anxious at the police car that followed behind you. It had been tailing you for the last five minutes, and you had checked everything off in your head. Your car was registered, roadworthy, you hadn’t been speeding and you knew all your lights were working as well.
You put it down to coincidence for a moment. You weren’t the only car on the road, and everyone had a destination to get to. Though it did seem rather uncanny to have the vehicle follow you for as long as it had.
“Pass me, pass me,” you murmured when it opened into two lanes after an intersection, but they remained behind you, making you grip at your steering wheel harder. And then the lights finally came on. Panicking, you pulled over to the curb, hoping they would speed on by. Instead, they came to a stop behind you.
Really, you should have guessed who would get out. However, when he did, you were surprised, and then really annoyed. You threw down your wallet you had retrieved; knowing full well the officer that approached your driver’s side knew your date of birth and that you had a valid licence so he wouldn’t need to see it.
And, your previous emotions had turned into contempt that you almost refused to wind down your window when he knocked on it. The ghost of a smile was there on his face, though he tried to rein it in. “Evening, Y/N.”
“Chan, is this really necessary?”
“Right now, I’m Officer Bang, and I’m afraid so,” he replied, pointing to the badge he held up, asserting his authority. “You’re going to have to accompany me to the station.”
“What, why?!” you exclaimed, shaking your head incredulously. “I’ve done nothing wrong.”
“Actually, you have, so I have to take you in.”
“What?!”
Chan sighed, rubbing at his face before continuing. “You’ll just have to come with me.”
“Listen, we’re childhood friends, can’t you just let me off with a warning for whatever it is? I’m hungry from not eating all day and I just want to get home. You know I’m not worth causing trouble over. Don’t you have actual criminals to catch or something?”
“Do you think my position is a joke, Y/N? School buddies or not, I have to do my job. You’re coming with me.”
You waited for Chan to grin, to laugh at you for falling for his trick. You had known him long enough now that he couldn’t fool you further than this. Yet, his expression didn’t morph into a goofy grin, nor did he break into a burst of teasing laughter. You gaped at him.
Chan was being serious.
“Well, uh, should I follow you back there or?”
“No, I can take you. Grab what you need and let’s get on our way.”
The ride back to the station was unbearably silent. You racked your brain for anything that could warrant such a ride, and the only thing you could think about was the disgruntled customer at work earlier on. She had threatened to involve the police if she didn’t have her demands met, but surely she hadn’t actually done that. By the time you arrived at Chan’s workplace, you were an emotional wreck, clasping your hands together as you followed him inside.
You had been here plenty of times, to drop off things from his roommate that worked with you when he had to stay overtime, or other errands such as that. But never because you had caused a problem. When Chan led you into one of the holding rooms, you sat down with a tremble.
He then smiled at you. “Just wait here, I’ll be back soon.”
With the book to throw at you, no doubt.
It took him ten minutes and when the door opened, you flinched, staring up at him with scared eyes. Your gaze then travelled down to the McDonalds he carried in, blinking slowly. He handed over your exact order that you normally got and then sat down. “Since you said you were hungry, I figured-”
“Do you really think I can eat right now? What did I do so wrong?!” you cried, tears brimming in your eyes.
He faltered, rubbing at the back of his neck before gesturing to your food. “You should at least try. You’ll regret it later when your stomach is empty.”
You attempted to eat, looking over at the officer every few minutes or so eating his own meal. He couldn’t stop smiling the longer you sat there together, and you realised something felt very wrong.
“I didn’t do anything to warrant this, right?”
“You did,” he objected, darting his eyes around the room. “I think you were speeding.”
“I was doing slightly under because you were making me anxious following me!” you retorted, throwing down your burger and whining unattractively. “I cannot believe you, Bang Chan!”
“Would you at least hear me out before you condemn me?” he bargained and you glared across the table at your friend. He winced at your hard expression and chuckled awkwardly. “I wanted this.”
“What, me worked up into a right state?!”
He shook his head, gesturing to the food before you both. “I wanted this. To share a meal with you.”
“Why?”
“You really don’t get it? I’ve been asking you to go out on a date with me for almost a year, Y/N. You always give me excuses. I figured, if you actually had to spend time with me more than just doing things you have to, you might find my company not so hard to be in.”
You scoffed loudly, though you picked up your burger again. Annoyed or not, you were still hungry. “And you think by pulling a stunt like this, I’d be more inclined to like you?!”
“Well, I-”
“Chan, you can’t do things like this. You’re on the clock! You need to be out there doing your job!”
He grinned sheepishly. “I uh, already finished earlier. I was bringing the car back to the station when I happened to see you. I don’t know why but I figured I could try my luck.”
“Ha!”
You continued to share your meal, offering him some of your food and taking a couple of nuggets from his stash. And then when you were done, you stood up, Chan jumping up to his feet and smiling all too graciously at you. “I’ll take you back to your car.”
Once again the car ride was silent, though this time not due to your anxiety. When your parked vehicle came into view, you clutched your bag closer, getting ready to hop out and forget all about this night even happening.
Chan stopped you, however. “I’m sorry, you’re right, I shouldn’t have done that to you.”
“Damn right you shouldn’t have! I felt remorse for a crime I never committed. You’re the one who should be charged with something! You were reckless with my emotions.”
“Yeah, I should. I guess dating me isn’t something you want to do after all.”
“You really cannot call that a date, Chan.”
He nodded in defeat and you stared at him for a moment, before leaning over and kissing him on the cheek. He was stunned, looking at you with wide eyes and his mouth slightly ajar. You sighed, trying not to smile too much. “If you think your reckless stunt was going to deter me, you’re wrong. I hope when you take me out, you’re just as creative as you were tonight.”
“You really want to date me?”
“Who knows, maybe next time we can play with some cuffs. I’ve always wondered how they work,” you mused and he Chan’s eyebrows shot up into his forehead as he shook his head all too quickly.
“We can’t go playing with police equipment like that.” He recovered from his shock and leaned over to you, lips now hovering around yours. “But I’ll hold you to that date, Y/N. This time, a proper one.”
You nodded in agreement, smiling at him. “And if you so much as try to fool me again with your position, you know I’ll report you, right?”
“I’ll accept any punishment if it means you’ll give me a chance.”
_________________
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delimeful · 5 years ago
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the shapes in the silence (8)
warnings: deceit (morally ambiguous), lying, arguing, negative thinking(lots)
Chapter 8
Apparently, ‘longest nap of his life’ meant three hours, because that was all he got before Patton came knocking gently on his door, snapping him out of a hazy nightmare in a cold sweat.
“Hey, kiddo!” He greeted, eyes suspiciously bright. Ugh, morning people. “We’re having a house meeting!” 
“A what?” Virgil responded automatically. He, of course, knew what a house meeting was, but- “You’ve never invited me to one of these before.” 
Patton had the grace to look sheepish. “Well, we don’t have them very often, and you didn’t… really want to talk to us last time we had one!” 
Oh yeah. He’d been absolutely certain it had only been an excuse for them to all complain about him suddenly ‘moving in’, so to speak. It’d taken actually eavesdropping before he realized it was actually an argument over who kept stealing Logan’s jam. He was fairly sure Roman had only passed up on accusing the new ‘unfriendly neighborhood Dark Side’ because he was the actual culprit. 
“...Sure, okay.”
He followed Patton downstairs, and found the others sitting already in their customary spots on the couch. Out of habit, he stepped towards the spot he normally sat as ‘Puff’, before remembering himself at a slight look of surprise from (still normal-sized) Roman. He propped himself up against the wall closest to Logan’s chair, not in the mood to loom menacingly by anyone who might be perturbed by it.  
As expected, Logan ignored him completely. “Good. Now that we are all here, I believe we should address the situation regarding Roman’s recent shrinking episode.” 
“Did you figure something out, Microsoft Nerd?” Roman asked, leaning forwards slightly. Virgil wondered how the nicknames had such little bite when they were directed at anyone but him.
Logan glanced at Virgil, but upon seeing no question about the situation in his expression, simply continued. “Currently, my hypothesis is that this size reduction happens to us due to the fact that we are incorporeal manifestations of a personality. For example, things like feeling overwhelmed or vulnerable might cause us to involuntarily shapeshift as a mechanism to protect Thomas or ourselves.” 
He flipped a few pages in his notebook. “I believe that is why access to our normal functions is limited whilst in the reduced form, as well, which is highly inconvenient.”
That would really stress Virgil out if he hadn’t already mastered the art of driving himself into the exact mental state needed to trigger his transformation either way. 
“As such,” Logan continued, “we need more information in order to find a solution. I believe Roman can help me test this hypothesis by focusing on aforementioned overwhelming thoughts to see if he can activate this reaction at will.” 
“What? Why me?” Roman protested immediately. “Why don’t you do it, Specs?” 
Logan gave him a condescending look. “Because I have no feelings, obviously. You are the only one we know of showing this symptom, anyhow. Our control group, so to speak.” 
Roman groaned, and for a moment, his gaze flicked to where Virgil was standing, wishing he was in bed as they talked about stuff he already knew. He straightened up a bit, narrowing his eyes back at Roman. What?
The creative side pulled his eyes away without giving him any sort of answer, but Logan hadn’t missed the byplay either. He stared between the two of them for a moment. Patton blinked at all of them mutually, lost in the silent stare off. Slowly, Logan leaned back. 
“If you’d prefer to do this at a later time-” He started, but Roman cut him off. 
“No, it’s fine.” He stared at Virgil like he was trying to convey something meaningful with the words. Virgil stared back, catching exactly none of it.
A moment and a flash later, Roman was sitting on the couch, doll-sized. Patton made the ‘oh no, cute!’ face again, and Virgil couldn’t help but stare. He was so… small. He couldn’t believe Roman had let him pick him up at all, so much could have gone wrong- 
“Oh, it worked!” Roman said, surprised. Logan hummed consideringly, already deep in thoughts he didn’t bother to share with the rest of them. 
“Can you turn back?” Virgil asked, voice sardonic. Roman scowled imperiously at him, but very noticeably did not get any bigger. 
“That part… appears to be more complicated.”
“Maybe try thinking about the opposite of what got you that size!” Patton offered, Logan nodding in agreement. 
Roman didn’t seem as easily convinced, but he did close his eyes and make an expression of thinking very hard for a few moments. Virgil took the opportunity to go make himself a bagel. It went perfectly up until the toasted bagel popped up loudly, and Roman groaned, presumably at his concentration being broken. 
“Anxiety.”
“What?” He responded through a mouthful of crunchy bread. “I’m hungry, I don’t have to watch you focus. You always figure it out eventually.” 
It was definitely meant to be delivered dismissively, but a second later there was a loud clatter from the lounge. Virgil poked his head around the corner. Roman was full-sized again, and had knocked a cup off the table in the process. He squinted at the startled creative side for a second. This was the second time in a row that had happened after he’d spoken.
Was Roman fucking with him? 
… No, Princey was too clueless for that. It was probably just coincidence.
Logan had taken it all in stride, turning to Patton and asking him to replicate Roman’s feat. Virgil took the opportunity to steal some of Logan’s Crofters and smear it over the other half of his bagel. Petty crimes. 
Once he re-emerged, Patton was still the same size, midway through an apology for not being able to manage it. 
“It’s quite alright, I have plenty of new information to look through. Oh, and Anxiety?” Logan called out, making him freeze where he was three steps up the stairs already. Could he seriously smell jam like a hunting dog? 
“Have you experienced anything like this before?” Logan asked, and everyone’s gaze turned to him.
Great, it wasn’t about the jam. It was so much worse. There was no getting out of it this time.
“No.” He answered bluntly, and ignored the way the lie tasted sour in his mouth. “I haven’t.” 
He looked away before he could see the mistrust form in their eyes, and retreated to his room. He hated lying to them, partially because it felt awful, wondering how and when they’d find out his untruths, but also because the more Virgil lied, the better of a grasp he got on the situation.
As such, it was almost unsurprising when he opened his door and found Deceit, standing in the middle of his room and eyeing his messy floor with distaste. He still felt his heart jump, though, looking over his shoulder as though the others would have trailed after him to witness the impromptu meeting. He slammed his door shut after him, already scowling darkly.
“What are you doing in my room.” He asked, flatly. Deceit gave him a deeply patronizing look. 
“Oh, because I can totally just stand around in the plain sight waiting for you to get back from your little get-together. That definitely wouldn’t get me harassed by those naive idiots.” 
Virgil gritted his teeth at the insult, voice coming out sharp. “I’m the one being harassed. I told you to leave me alone. Get. Out.”
Deceit raised an eyebrow. “Like you weren’t practically calling my name with all the lying you’ve been doing. Obviously, you know that even just hiding the truth counts as a lie. You’re clearly doing much better than a liar like me.” 
“Shut up.” Virgil snarled, the shadows in his room curling around his feet. He clenched his fists, ignoring the feel of nails biting into his palms. “You’re just sour that Thomas still hasn’t noticed you, even after I split off and proved that Dark Sides can appear to him.” 
“Oh, you’re so right. It’s not like I want to keep helping him without needing all that attention or anything.” Deceit smiled smugly, as Virgil worked his jaw. “You can’t play the villain forever, Thomas won’t still hate you and get hurt because of it. I’m much worse off, helping keep him safe by keeping him in the dark.”
“I don’t care if he hates me.” Virgil returned, ignoring the way Deceit’s lips thinned knowingly. “Thomas needs his friends, needs people, and if he goes down the road you want him to take, he’ll be alone and hated his whole life, and he won’t even know why.” 
“Virgil, you’re the farthest thing from a hypocrite I’ve ever met.” Deceit offered, saccharine-sweet. “After all, you certainly wouldn’t know anything about being alone and hated, now would you?”   
“Yeah, it’s my job.” He spat, furious. “I’m supposed to keep Thomas from feeling the way I feel preemptively, genius.” 
He took a deep breath, trying to prevent his voice from slipping. “I knew what I was getting into when I revealed myself. Maybe you should focus more on your own role instead of nosing into my business.”
Deceit’s eyes narrowed slightly with irritation. “Yes, I’m definitely the one slinking about where I don’t belong. You’d never take advantage of someone’s trust under false pretenses, after all.”  
Virgil bit into his tongue hard enough to make it bleed. Deceit smirked, as though he’d never been irritated at all. After a moment, the look smoothed over into something more contemplative.
“You are so obsessed with Thomas upholding society’s standards, so afraid of him becoming a bad person. But you don’t have anything to worry about. After all, you’re a reflection of him, and you’re so very selfless, aren’t you?”  
Virgil recoiled as though struck, but there was no victory in the other side’s expression. 
“You made the right choice. The others will accept you when you’re exposed. You won’t regret it.”
With that final condemnation, he sunk away, and Virgil was left alone with the silence ringing in his ears. He hated fighting with Deceit, hated that the man wasn’t above tearing at sensitive spots to get his own point across, hated the raw, cut-open feeling that came with it. 
Most of all, he hated that Deceit was right. 
He was just using the others, lying to them to assuage his own pathetic loneliness. He’d made his choice, he’d known he’d be surrounded by people who didn’t want him there. He’d known, he’d known, and it still never got easier.
The transformation was at the edge of his senses, only a grasp from shifting him, and for a moment he entertained the thought of letting it happen. Running back to them, curling up in the presence of Thomas’ best attributes until Deceit’s words were barely even whispers in the back of his mind… 
Something clicked in the subconscious, and he let the errant dream go, sinking onto his bed. Thomas was making another video, and though it didn’t seem like he was going to be summoned this time, he still had work to do. He pulled up a screen of the scene through Thomas’s eyes, attention catching on every possible minor flaw, predicting the audience’s every possible reaction, determined to make the editing process hell so that only the best of Thomas was shown. 
That was his job, after all.
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ghosthouses27 · 5 years ago
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Blast From The Past
quick heads-up that all the new youtubers dropping into hermitcraft have time travelled from 2016 so they got their 2016 outfits and personalities
~*~
>stampylongnose joined the game
A loud yelp immediately alerted Scar away from his base, followed by a faint crash that was shortly cut off by coughing. Scar whipped around on his heals and immediately ran towards it, a nearly tripping over his own slippers. His first thought was that someone had crashed into a tree again (probably Mumbo), but that wasn't the case.
A brunette with curly hair and an orange hoodie was laying on the ground, a dark red vest over the hoodie. Faux cat ears on the hood stuck out from among the leaves that had fallen on his head, and a white tipped tail whisked behind him as he coughed rather violently.
Scar was stunned into silence for a moment before gathering his composure. "Um, hi?" The stranger jumped at his voice, glancing up at him with emerald green eyes, but was interrupted by another cough. "Hey are, you okay?"
"Y-yeah just *cough* i-inhaled something," the brunette spluttered, gasping for breath. He finally looked up Scar and squinted. "Finnball?"
Scar raised an eyebrow curiously and kneeled next to him. "No?" he replied, tilting his head. "My name's Scar. Is Finnball a friend of yours?"
The stranger nodded, squinting his eyes a bit less now that Scar was closer. "Can you uh, see my glasses?" he asked, feeling around for the thin frame. "Everything's kinda just a big green blob for me and uh, my glasses are pretty small."
"Oh uh, yeah sure." Scar looked around for a moment before easily spotting the glasses and handed them to the brunette who quickly slipped them on.
"That's better!" He smiled and heaved himself onto his feet, only a bit taller than Scar. "So uh, it's nice to meet you!" he exclaimed, holding out a hand for Scar to shake. "My name's Stampy! You said you were Scar?"
"Yeah I'm Scar," Scar replied, shaking his hand. "I think I've heard of you. Stampylongnose right? Creator of the famous Lovely World?"
"Yup!" Stampy nodded, grinning. "That's me!" A nearby parrot suddenly swooped down and delicately perched on a branch near the two, chirping a little tune. "Aww hey birdie!" Stampy cooed, stepping closer and patting it on the head.
He looked around, finally the noticing the tall jungle trees towering over him. "Where... are we?" he asked slowly, spinning around. "Is this My Story Mode House-? wait no that's an Xbox server- uhhh, is this Quacktopia or maybe Squid's server-"
"Slow down!" Scar interrupted, his head practically spinning.
"Ah! Sorry!" Stampy said, smiling apologetically. "But uh, where is this?"
"You're in Hermitcraft, a whitelisted server," Scar explained, letting out a breath. "Do you even know how you got here? I wasn't aware we were getting a new member, unless you hacked but you really don't seem like the kind of person to hack."
"Oh no, I would never hack!" Stampy chucked awkwardly. "I don't even think I know how to hack! I can barely navigate PC worlds!" He giggled. "But ah, my friend managed to get me in here. He did some science-y redstone stuff and bam! I ended up falling into a jungle!"
Scar stared at him for a moment in confused silence. "...huh," he finally managed to say. Guess I should probably tell Xisuma, he thought, digging into his pocket for his communicator.
>iBallisticSquid joined the game
"Excuse me!" a voice yelled. Keralis looked up to see someone with dirty blonde hair and a dark blue jacket waving from the top of his crane, holding his red and blue headphones with his other hand so they wouldn't fall off.
His mismatching colored eyes lit up when Keralis looked up at him and he waved even harder, nearly falling off the platform in the progress. "Hi!" he called down. "Did you build this?!"
"Uh- me?" Keralis asked, a little startled. "Y-yeah, I did! Why?"
"This looks awesome!"
"I-uh- thank you?" Keralis yelled back up, still slightly confused by the whole situation. "Do you need some help down? I can fly up if you want!"
The stranger stared at him weirdly. "Are you in creative or something?" he asked. "Or did you mean ladders? Or ya gonna nerd-pole?"
This time it was Keralis' turn to give a strange look. "No...?" he said, getting out a rocket to show him. "I'm gonna... fly?" He shot himself into the sky, boosting up next to the mysterious player and skidding next to him.
The blonde gaped at him in wide-eyed shock, eyes flicking from Keralis' custom elytra to his face. "Wait, is that one of those new wingy things?!" he exclaimed, pointing to the black and yellow striped gliders. "That's so cool! I didn't know you could dye 'em! Or use fireworks with 'em!"
"Uh, you can't?" Keralis said, picked up one of the wings slightly. "Everyone can just, customize their elytras?" He raised an eyebrow. "Are you a new player?"
"Nah, not at all." The stranger put his hands behind his head, grinning and showing sharp teeth. "Actually bit of an old player; just not used to the new update yet."
Keralis had more questions but decided to save them for later and first figure out who this person was. "Well, what's you name?" he asked. "I'm Keralis."
"My name's Squid-oodalay!" Squid replied, taking an exaggerated bow. "Or just Squid! Pleasure to meet'cha!"
"Nice to meet you too." Keralis glanced down and immediately regretted it as the world started to swim beneath his feet. "Oh that's not good," he muttered, taking a step backwards. His heel caught on the edge and slipped off, making him jolt backwards with a cry.
"I gotcha!" Squid quickly reached and grabbed his arm, digging his heels into the ground and pulling him up. Keralis was heaved up and the brunette collapsed on the concrete, gasping for breath.
"Th-thanks..."
"No problem, but we should probably get down now. Don't want one of us to fall down again." Squid chuckled and jumped over to where the mast was, glancing down at the ladder in the middle before walking over to the edge and leaping off.
"SQUID!" Keralis leaped off as well, spreading out his elytra and swooping down. Squid was hanging off the ledge of one of the gaps in the mast, about a third of the way down and heaving himself onto the block.
"What the heck was that?!" Keralis managed to yell as he glided besides him, eyes wide and distraught.
"It's quicker than ladders!" Squid retorted, smirking and ready to jump again. "And I don't think your wings can hold both of us! Can they?" Keralis hesitated for a moment but reluctantly shook his head. "Knew it!"
Squid jumped down again and landed squarely on the ground, yelping and nearly falling over. "Ow! Me legs!" he whined, rubbing at his ankle.
"A-are you okay?" Keralis asked, skidding to a stop on the ground.
"Yeah I'm good, just a few hearts down." Squid looked up at Keralis, then the crane, then the house, then back at Keralis. "Probably should've asked this earlier but uh, where is this? Like, I know it's a mesa-"
"I think it's savannah actually."
"One of the grassy places!"
"I don't think mesas are grassy."
"One of the orange places!"
Keralis sighed; this was going no where. "I'm just... gonna tell Shashwamy that you're here," he mumbled, pulling out his communicator.
Squid glanced over at his communicator as the screen popped up, trying to read the backwards text. "Wait who's Shashwamy? Is that a friend?"
"Yeah he's, also the admin of Hermitcraft."
"Wait admin? Is this Hypixel or something? Also what's Hermitcraft? Aren't those crabs?"
>DanTDM joined the game
Someone knocked at the door of his pyramid and Cub rolled his eyes. "Come in, the door isn't even there," he said, not even turning around.
"Um, hello?" The unfamiliar voice instantly made Cub whip around, sword glittering in hand. A brunette with goggles on his head was standing at the doorway, the front part of his hair dyed electric blue.
"Username, now," Cub demanded, tattered vex wings bursting from his back. The brunette's pale blue eyes widened and he fumbled to grab his communicator. He tapped at the screen and a hologram screen flashed in front of him with his username.
Cub lowered his sword and the wings on his back faded, but he still eyed the brunette warily. "Sorry about that," he muttered, tucking his sword away. "I thought you were a hacker or something."
"Oh no, I should be the one apologizing!" the stranger said quickly, smiling awkwardly. "I probably should've given more of a heads-up than just waltzing on in."
"So are you really DanTDM?" Cub asked. "Also how the hell'd you get in here?"
"Yeah I am DanTDM," the brunette replied sheepishly, looking away with a slight smile. "And I might have uh, done something? Bad?"
Cub rolled his eyes. "Real specific."
Dan chuckled. "I know, I know. But I'm honestly not too sure what I did either? I was playing around around with portals with some friends, and then one of the portals also kinda blew up and I ended up here?"
A bark suddenly echoed in the room and the skeleton of a dog came bounding in, growling slightly under its breath. Cub could only stare in silent awe as the dog bounced up to Dan and sat at his feet, glaring at Cub with cold eyes.
"Awww hey Grim!" Dan cooed, picking up the bony pup. "Did you follow me through the portal?"
"Wh... how did you even manage this?!" Cub exclaimed, his eyes wide. He grabbed his communicator out from his pocket and instantly flicked to the main chat. "I need to tell X about this!"
Dan looked up, squinting at the backwards text and attempting to read some of it. "You should also probably tell you friend that I'm here."
"Oh right, that too."
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Text
Someone Special - Harry Styles Christmas Series (Part 8)
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Part 7
The Morning After. 
You rolled over onto your other side when you felt something warm and heavy against you. You yawned opening your eyes when you saw Harry’s naked back facing you. You blushed as you stared at him thinking about what happened only a few hours ago based on the time on the clock on the bedside table. 
**
He laid you down on the bed as he kissed you again. The feeling of your lips touching sent that electric feeling through your body again. Even though the not so subtle words left your lips only a few minutes ago, you couldn’t believe that it was actually going to happen. His hands left your hips and began exploring new territory. The previous night he had kept his hands quite respectable, but now that had completely gone out the window and you were loving it. 
You were still wearing your boots until he removed himself from your lips to sit up and unzip them. He threw them over onto the floor before running his hands up your legs. He smirked when he got your hips, flipping you back over so you were straddling him again. Due to the tightness of your dress, the hem of it at ridden up quite a bit. 
You felt his fingers grasping the zipper on the back and pulling it down. You let the top of the dress fall down to your waist, revealing your bright red bra underneath. 
“I uh.. I see you were sticking with the theme of the night even under the dress,” he smirked up at you. 
“Go big or go home, right?” You smirked. 
He laughed pulling your body against as kiss up and down your neck, leaving little kisses along the tops of your shoulder and collarbone. 
“Aren’t you in a bit warm in that?” You smirked tugging on his sweater. 
“Very,” he said pulling it over his head. 
You ran your hands over his chest before gently pulling on his necklace as you leaned forward for another kiss. He smirked against your lips as you pushed him back on the bed and you forced the rest of your dress down your legs and onto the floor.  A bit later, you both were under the blankets, fully naked, as you continued pressing kisses against the other’s lips, neck, chest, and pretty much wherever you could. 
You were lost in another a kiss and your hands were in his in hair when you felt him slowly drag his hand over your center. You pulled away, letting out a gasp looking into his eyes. He smirked at you as he pushed a finger inside and moving it slowly. You gripped onto his shoulders, closing your eyes as you savored the feeling. You could feel yourself edging closer and just before you let yourself go, he stopped. 
You shot your eyes open to see he had slid his way down your body to add his tongue in the mix. 
“Fuck,” you groaned gripping onto the sheets fo the bed, opening your legs wider. 
His arm wrapped around your thigh as he held you closer to him. Your body started move in reaction to his movements and it didn’t take long until you were letting out a slight moan. He kept going until you were completely finished before kissing his way back up your body and up to your lips. You put your hands on his cheeks as you deepened the kiss and brought your hips up to meet his. 
He let out a groan before pulling away and reaching over into the drawer of the table next to his bed. You could hear him fumbling with a package and you couldn’t help, but giggle at the frustration. 
“Do you uh-need a bit of help?” You asked. 
“’M fine,” he said throwing the wrapper back in the drawer. 
He rolled back over on top of you. He looked down at you and you leaned up to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close, and pushing inside. 
**
You weren’t sure what you should do next this situation. You’ve never really been in a friends with benefit situation. Should you get up while he’s still sleeping and go into your own room? Or should you stay and try to fall back asleep. You could get up and make breakfast, but you weren’t sure how much longer Harry would sleep. 
It was the day of Jingle Bell Ball, so you knew it would be a bit of a busy day later on. You decided it might be better to get up and head into your own room. Maybe shower and read a bit before you started on breakfast. However, it was when you made that decision that you realized you didn’t have any clothing other than what you had worn last night and there was no way you were pulling that dress on just to walk down the hall. You looked over, making sure he was still sleeping, before you got up to make your way off the bed. 
You had just put one foot on the floor, when you felt him grab your hand. 
“Where are you going?” He mumbled. “Come ‘ere.” 
“What?” You laughed turning around to look at him. 
“I said come ‘ere,” he smiled tugging on your arm. 
You laughed adjusting the sheet around you as you moved closer to him. He wrapped his arm around you as you laid your head next to his. He kissed the top of your head as his fingers traced random shapes along your back. 
“Everything’s still good, yeah?” He whispered. “Any regrets?” 
“Not one,” you said looking over at him. 
“Me either,” he said. “What time is your soundcheck?” 
“Um, four I think?” you said. “Yours?” 
“Just before that,” he said. 
You nodded, “So, we’ve got time to just chill out here then?” 
“If you want,” he said. “We could have that Christmas movie Marathon you’ve been wanting.” 
“Ooh, yes, that sounds perfect,” you said. “But first, I’m making breakfast.” 
“Nope, you’re my guest,” he said. 
“Exactly, which is why I’m making you breakfast,” you said. 
“Yeah, not going to happen,” he said. 
“Actually it is,” you smirked moving to get up. 
“Get your ass back here,” he said pulling you back down. 
You laughed hovering over him your chest touching his, “What’s your obsession with my ass?” 
He blushed, “There is no obsession,” he defended. 
“Really? Then why is your hand just chilling there, then?” You smirked. 
“Well, I mean, it uh, just happened-” he said. 
“Still there,” you giggled. 
“Sue me,” he smirked pecking your lips. “Now, stay here, while I go cook breakfast.” 
“Nope!” You said rolling off of him and getting to the floor. 
You pulled on the closet article of clothing you could find, which ended up being one of his hoodies. 
“Um, stealing my stuff now?” He asked. 
“Well, seeing as how the only thing I have to wear is what I wore last night, it’s either this or me walking down the hall naked to get my things,” you said. 
“I’d totally be okay with the latter,” he smirked. 
“I bet you are,” you rolled your eyes. 
Harry laughed getting out of bed and pulling on some clothes before meeting you in the kitchen once you got dressed. He smirked a bit seeing you still wearing his hoodie. 
“What’s the excuse now?” he asked. 
“It’s comfy,” you shrugged. 
“Yeah, it is, that’s why I bought it,” he laughed. 
“Anyway, how do you like your eggs?” You asked. 
“Scrabbled is fine,” he said. 
You nodded grabbing some from the fridge, along with some other ingredients you found in there. 
“So, which songs are you performing tonight?” you asked pushing hair out of your face. 
“Um, Lights Up, Adore You, Watermelon Sugar, Sign of The Times and What Makes you Beautiful,” he said. 
“Wait,” you said. “That’s right! Adore You came out today and that Eroda nonsense. Why didn’t you say anything we could have been watching it!” 
He laughed, “Um I was a bit preoccupied,” he said. 
“Well, had you just shown me before i wouldn't have been an issue,” you smirked. 
“I couldn’t! I had to keep it a secret,” he laughed. 
“Yeah, whatever,” you joked. 
“It’s like seven minutes or something, so we should probably wait until we sit down or else you’re going to burn the eggs,” he said. 
“No, I’m not,” you scoffed. “I don’t burn anything when I cook thank you very much.” 
“Yeah, I don’t believe that,” he said. 
“Fuck you!” You laughed. “I’ll just be eating all the eggs then.” 
“Now, who is being the rude one?” He mocked. 
You rolled your eyes as you went back to scrambling the eggs. You put them on two plates along with some toast and you two sat down at the table. Harry placed his phone up so where you could both watch it. You took a bite of eggs while you watched very closely. Harry looked over at you he was not only watching for your reaction on the song n the video, but also because he couldn’t help but look at you. 
Your hair was a slightly disheveled from last nights events and a few hours of sleep. You had tried to tame it a bit but throwing it up in a bun, but quite a few strands still framed your face. You looked beautiful as the sunlight shone in through the window, caressing your face. The longer he stared at you, the more he felt his heart flutter and the urge to kiss you. 
But he refrained from doing so. He knew he needed to act cool because like you said the night before, this was nothing more than the two of you having fun. You would be friends first and foremost, which meant he couldn't just kiss you whenever he wanted. 
“That was so good!” You smiled over at him. 
You noticed him staring at you, “What? Is there something on face?” 
“No, no, I was uh, just watching for your reaction is all,” he coughed. 
“Well, my reactions is that it was of fucking good,” you smiled. “The creativity of the video and the song is probably my favorite so far.” 
“Thank you,” he smiled. “That means a lot.” 
“You’re welcome,” you smiled. 
After breakfast, you two cleaned up the dishes together before heading into the living room. You had a few hours to get in a couple of Christmas movies before you needed to get ready for the Jingle Bell Ball that night. You were sat on one end of the couch, while Harry was on the other. The only thing really connecting the two fo you in the moment was the blanket spread across that you were sharing. 
Once again, you weren’t sure how it happened, but something started pulling the two of you closer together and by the time you were on your second movie, you were right next to him. His arm was wrapped around you and you head was on his shoulder. You bit your lip to keep yourself from kissing him. You could hear his heart beating, the sound was quite soothing. Your eyes started to drift until you found yourself falling asleep. 
Harry looked down when he heard a soft snoring sound. He held back a laugh noticing you were sleeping. He sighed moving hair out of your face and behind your ear. 
“I think I’m in fucking trouble when it comes to you,” he whispered. 
**
You both were now at Jingle Bell Ball and you wouldn’t really see each other much. You went on before him and you both had interviews and such to do prior to your performances. 
“So, where have you been doing during your time in London?” your hairstylist asked. 
“Just having some fun,” you said. “Getting in the Christmas Spirit.” 
“Does that included a certain Mr. Styles?” She smirked. 
You looked up at her before looking down. 
“I knew it! I fucking knew there was something going on between you,” she said. 
“Shut the fuck up!” You groaned. “There’s nothing going on with us. We’re friends and we’re having fun... that’s it.” 
“Keep telling yourself that babe,” she said. 
“It’s the truth, neither of us want a relationship, so we’re literally just having fun,” you repeated. 
“Are you happy at least?” She asked. 
“I am,” you nodded. 
“Then whatever you’re doing, keep doing it,” she smiled. “You deserve to be happy.”
“Thank you,” you smiled. 
She hugged you and finished doing your hair. You got changed into your stage outfit. It was a pair of bright red, sparkly bell bottom pants with a matching crop-top that hit just above the top of the pants. You were wearing black heeled boots and had quite the accessories with diamond hoop earrings and your favorite necklace you always wore on stage. 
“Ready?” One of the crew members asked. 
“Yep,” you smiled following him out towards the stage. 
As you walked backstage, you could hear Harry’s voice as he did an interview. He saw you out of the corner of his eye and stopped mid-sentence before shaking his head to gather his thoughts again. You smirked when you caught eyes with him as you walked towards the stage. You were on in ten minutes and you couldn’t wait. 
It had been a while since you had been on stage and you are so happy thy had invited you to be in the show. You stood at the side of the stage as you waited. Your band had already gone to take their places and you were just about to head out yourself when you heard someone call your name. You turned around seeing Harry poking his head out as he hid behind a curtain. 
“What are you doing?” You laughed. 
“I wanted to see you before you went out on stage,” he said. 
“Technically, you did see me, during your interview,” you smirked. 
He blushed a bit, “You know what I mean,” he said. “I wanted to say something to you.” 
“And that’s?” You asked. 
“You look very hot,” he smirked. “See you after the show!” 
You playfully glared at him, knowing exactly what he was getting at, and he decided to wait right before you went on stage. But that was the last thing you need to worry about, so you closed you eyes and push it out of your mind for the time being and headed out on stage. 
**
Your set went amazing and you were dripping with sweat from being all over the stage and dancing. The crowd loved having you and you knew you needed to get back on tour in 2020. When you were off stage, you passed Harry as he was heading towards the stage to get ready for his set. He gave you a smile and thumbs up. You smiled giving a small wave before heading back to your dressing room you change. 
You made sure to change quickly because you wanted to see Harry’s set. And you were not disappointed. You, your band, and your team were watching side stage and dancing around, singing all the lyrics to his songs. There were a few times you two looked at each other with a bit of a smirk. When his set was finished, and he changed, he met you back out in the side stage to watch Stormzy’s set. 
You two made sure to keep your distance due to so many eyes and phones the were out. But that electric current was happening again. 
“My friends want me to go out with them tonight,” you said. “Would you want to come?” 
“Sure, out where?” He asked. 
“They uh, found a club or something,” you shrugged. 
“Cool,” he said. 
“You sound very happy about this,” you laughed. “Did you have something planned tonight?” 
“No, I didn’t,” he said. 
You nodded, “I told the we’d meet them in about an hour,” you said. “So, we can go home and change, I guess.” 
“Sounds good,” he nodded. 
**
When you got back to Harry’s house, you looked though your suitcase trying to find something to wear tonight when you saw something at the bottom of your suitcase. It was the very dress you had worn last Christmas when you went out on your date that ended up with a breakup. You forgot you had packed it after seeing it in your closet. You hadn’t worn it since that night due to the memory that went with it, so you thought about wearing again in order to replace the bad memory. 
Now, you were at the club with your team and Harry’s team. Well, some of them at least. You both spent time with each of your groups, laughing and dancing. You had a few drinks at the bar, when you looked over to see someone talking to Harry. He had a smile on his face as he was talking to her. You figured she was a friend or maybe just a fan wanting to meet him. However, when you saw her touching his arm, you felt a bit fire heating up inside of you. 
“So, what are the terms and conditions of this agreement?” Your hairstylist asked. 
“What?” you asked. 
“Are you two allowed to fuck around with other people or-” she asked. 
“We didn’t exactly specify,” you mumbled. 
“For fuck’s sake if you’re going to mess around with friends with benefits, then you gotta set rules. It’s not something you can just label and be like if we wanna fuck we fuck. You’ve gotta set it up at the beginning,” she said. 
“Why do you know so much about this?” You asked. 
“I have my reasons,” she said. 
“Riiiight,” you said. “I’m going to go to the bathroom.” 
You made your way towards the back of the club. You were dripping with sweat with all the bodies around and hoped there would be some sort of relief in the air in the bathroom. After waiting ten minutes, it was finally your turn. While you were washing your hands, you heard someone talking in the line. You didn’t think anything of it, until you heard her say Harry’s name. 
“I can’t believe you were talking to Harry Styles,” her friend gasped. 
“I know right,” she smirked. “He offered to buy me a drink and we both know what that means.” 
“Should I?” She asked. 
“Duh! When a guy offers to buy you a drink, it usually means they want you in their bed later,” she smirked. “And I will definitely take him up on that offer.” 
You rolled your eyes at her statements and threw your paper towel into the garbage before pulling the door open with a bang. You knew he was probably simply being nice and there was no way he was going to bring her back to his house with you staying there. But yet you couldn't help the jealousy coursing through you. You thought about going over and confronting him, but you didn’t want to make a scene, so you did the next best thing. 
You downed a shot of tequila or two and now it was time to be a petty little shit. You looked around for a guy, any guy that was a bit of attractive. When you found him, you approached him and starting chatting with him. Which then quickly turned into dancing. And this was nothing like the dancing you had done at the party with Jeremiah. There was mere centimeters in-between you and his hands were well below your back. 
Harry was talking with Mitch and Adam when he saw you in the middle of dance floor practically grinding up on some other guy. Harry gripped the plastic cup in his hand so hard, it crumpled and caused the remainder of his drink to fly. 
“Woah, dude what’s up with you?” Mitch asked. 
Harry didn’t say anything, but all Mitch and Adam had to do was turn around to see exactly what Harry was staring at. 
“Oh, shit,” Adam said. 
“So, let me guess, the other day when I asked you how you felt about her, and you said there were no feelings there, you lied?” Mitch asked. 
“Fuck off,” he snapped throwing his cup down and making his way through the crowd. 
When you saw Harry, you could tell he wasn’t unhappy. Good. 
“I think it’s time to call it a night,” he said to you. 
“Uh, who the fuck are you?” The guy said to Harry. “If you don’t mind...” 
“I do actually,” he said. “Let’s go.” 
“Don’t you have drinks to buy for other girl’s or something?” you said. 
“What the fuck are you talking about?” He asked. 
“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” you said crossing your arms. 
“You’re acting like a child,” he said. “Now, let’s go.” 
“Fuck you,” you said pushing past him as you walked through the crowd. 
Harry sighed following after you even out of the club. “Y/N, come on, just get in the car. We can talk about this at my house.” 
“Do you really think that’s a good idea? I wouldn’t want to get in the way of you bringing someone else home?” You snapped. 
“The fuck are you talking about?” He said. “Just please get in the car.” 
You glared at him, “Only because I’m fucking freezing my ass off.” 
**
Once you arrived at his house, neither of had said anything the entire drive home. Tension, jealously, and that electric current was on high the whole time. When you both walked into the house, Harry slammed the door and looked at you. 
“So, are you going to fucking tell me what the bloody hell that was?” He asked. 
“I was dancing,” you shrugged. 
“Yeah, most people would say it was more like fucking with your clothes on,” he snapped. 
“Well, at least I wasn’t buying him a drink and taking him home,” you snapped back. 
“Neither did I,” he scoffed. “Do I get extra points for that too?” 
“Did you or did you not buy some random ass girl a drink tonight?” You asked. “And were you or were you not flirting with her.” 
“I-” Harry said relaying the night in his head. “Is that what this is about? I did buy her a drink, but only because she said she was a fan. I was being nice... not flirting with her.” 
“Yeah, well, she seemed very sure that you were going to invite her back to your place and fuck her!” You said. 
“Really? You honestly believe that I would do that knowing you were here,” he asked. 
“Oh, so what are you saying? If I wasn’t here you would have brought her home?” You asked. 
“No, I wouldn’t do that because I’m not stupid enough to just sleep with someone random like that, who could run to TMZ the next morning,” he said. 
“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes walking past him. 
“Fucking, damnit, Y/N,” he said following you down the hallway. “Why are you acting like this? We’re friends, remember?” 
“That’s exactly why I’m fucking acting like this!” You snapped. 
He took a step back looking at you, “I’m not following.” 
“I can’t do this,” you said. “I can’t just be your friend. I thought I could, hell, I need to only be your friend, but I can’t. I just can’t.” 
**
Annnnnnddd there we have it. How do we think Harry’s going to react? 
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leejeeno · 5 years ago
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Liability | College Student AU! Mark Lee.
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Description: “I understand, I’m a liability, get you wild, make you leave, I’m a little much for everyone” (Lorde - Liability.) You are head over heels for Mark. You really are. However, every time you get together you break up with him moments later, creating this endless circle of getting back together only for you to break up with him. It’s always like that. Until he meets her. Until he gets tired of your game. 
Genre: angst | fluff | humor Pairing: Mark Lee x Reader Warnings: Mention of past abusive relationship (nothing physical happened and the abuse is not described), reader has low self-steem.
Word Count: 13.100+ (it got too long, sorry.)
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You are sitting in the counter of Chenle's massive kitchen. A loud song is playing in the background, some top charts pop with a happy beat. You are sipping from a red cup, filled with flavored vodka, looking like the cliché sad college student in a frat party.
Except, that you can't count Chenle's house as a fraternity no matter how the boys almost live here as they expend more time in the large living room than they do at they own dorms. 
Chenle is the rich boy that has the soul of an angel. An economic major. He lives alone in a house that has way more room than a family of six can need. He parents rented it for him as they always spend a horrendous amount of money on the boy in a way to make up for their emotional detachment. Chenle is a lonely boy that loves his friends more than he lets go and for that he always makes sure that his house is filled with them.
You meet Mark in one of Chenle's famous party. It was Jaemin who invited you, even though you didn't him past the girl's rumors, only recognizing him as the loud and funny guy from your English literature class. You said yes because you like to drink and you like to dance so it couldn't be bad. 
It really wasn't. You met Mark in the roof of the house. He was drunk and watching the stars, you were slightly sober and trying to hide from all the loud and drunk people from the party. Mark met you with adorable brown eyes that burned into your figure.
He had a blond hair at the time, all messed up and pointing into every direction making him look like a little lion. His cheeks were puffed and slightly red and his lips were pouted. He looked like a major happy idiot and if that isn't exactly the type of man that you like.
"Sorry" you awkwardly stuttered. "Didn't know there was someone in here."
Mark lips twitched and he smiled drunkenly at you.
"Nah," he chuckled and made a weird movement with his hand. "It is alright, roof is big enough." 
You sat close to him and spread your hands back to give you support. You stared at the dark sky and left a breath of relief from being away from so many people after hours and hours of partying.
"It can be too much, 'ight?" Mark said, his raspy voice breaking the silence. "The party."
"Oh, yeah." you nod your head in an agreement. 
"Jaemin is the one organizing it. He is... a little too much." Mark said with a click of his tongue. "But he is a really good friend! Don't get me wrong, ok?"
"I won't" is all you offered him, biting the inside of your cheek because you couldn’t think of anything else to say.
He smiled at you again, his drunkenly expression shifting to a sweeter one and your lips couldn’t help but copy his. Mark looked at your bottom lip, then at your eyes and then at the stars. He leaves a laugh and so do you and neither of you bot knows why you were laughing.
You both had stayed in the roof all night, talking about life and the future, your childhood and the past, and what you two want to do after college ends. Mark gets sober and sober but he never stops smiling in that soft happily way, he never gets up to leave and he never changed from who he was when he was drunk. He remained a happy idiot thought all night.
Then, when the sun was starting to rise, he looked at you with shine in his eyes and happiness all over his face. At the roof, at that time, he looked at you like you were the most precious thing that he has ever seen, like he could write poems and songs about the night that he had just spent with you, and you feel your heart blooming with spring flowers, filling with summer warmth and april excitement. You feel butterflies in your stomach and you can't help but ask.
You closed your eyes for a moment, feeling way to nervous. "Can I kiss you?" you whispered.
Mark wetted his plump lips with his tongue and nodded his head, getting closer and closer until you felt his erratic breath fanning against your face, you could already taste the alcohol and an artificial strawberry flavor. His slender finger slid along your cheeks and then settled in your jawline, pushing your head upward towards his face.
"You are the most beautiful of things." his mouth moved along yours in the most romantic thing that you had ever heard.
After that, you two were a thing. Walking around campus with fingers entwined, laughing about some inside jokes, stealing kisses before classes, making your head spin with adoration and secretly glancing at each other with eyes filled with love and devotion. 
He introduced you to the Dream Boys, as he called his group of friends and you laughed at that name but also thought that it was one of the cutest things that you have ever heard. Just like their friendship.
You had dates, you had amazing sex, you hold hands, you went to late night adventures, you said you loved him for the first time and he said it back with tears in his eyes. Loving Mark was like an endless summer, you never fought, you both loved each other like it could never end.
But it did. Again, and again and again. Because if Mark is summer then you are winter. You aren't exactly cold but you are dry and afraid. You doubt yourself too much and always kept thinking that he was way too good for you, that you didn't deserve this happiness and all those thoughts made sure that you always broke up with him. One, two, three, four and even five times you got away from him but he always found his way back to you. Mark tried to break the iceberg that is your own insecurity so many times that eventually he got tired. 
That's why, now, you are drinking alone in one of your best friend's party while Mark is laughing and dancing with her. His new girlfriend, the one he met after you broke up with him for the sixth time with a lazy excuse. 
Now, you understand why regret is one of the worst feelings that a human being can feel.
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"Jeno!" you drawl, calling him. "Can you help me with the assignment for the creative writing class?"
Jeno is one of the best things that Mark gave to you. He is one of the Dream Boys and an English major just like you, he is soft, kind and has the humor of an old man. He is always trying to help and please others whenever he can and his smile can bright everyone's day. When you last expected you two were already best friends.
"Sure, can do" he quietly reply, smiling delicate at you, and brings the library chair he is sitting in closer to you.
"What word did you get?" you question him full of curiosity. In your creative writing class, the teacher came one day with a bucket filled with small papers, which one having a single word written in then, and everyone had to pick one, read your word and write a whole ass poem with that single word to guide you. 
"Everlasting." he answers showing you his white piece of paper. "So, I wrote about an everlasting love, you know the typical thing." 
You almost feel jealous of Jeno because everything that he writes come out looking like a fine masterpiece even when he writes it at 5am, rushing to get it done before his 8am class. He writes about lost, love and happiness like he can understand every feeling. However, in real life, you know Jeno is, sometimes, just awkward as you are.
"Ugh, that should have been me." you complain, taking the end of your pencil between your teeth.
Jeno laughs as you huff once again and leans back into your chair. He finger-flicks you in your forehead and you soon brings your palm to the hurting place. 
"Why are you doing that to me?" you quirk a brown. 
"Because you are doubting your writing skills again, Y/N" you best friend reply with a firm voice that doesn't opens space for jokes or fights. "Now, c'mon, what is your word?" 
You lift one finger for him to wait and with the other hand you fish for the paper inside your jacket pocket. You show it to him. 
"Relationship." you huff frustratedly. 
"Oof!" Jeno brings his hand to his heart and give you a sympathy looks. "That hits too close to home." 
"Yep. And I don't want to write about him but I also don't know what to write about and that's why I need your help." 
Jeno doesn't say nothing about a moment and you just know that he is thinking really hard if he should force you to talk about the big man in question or if he should just let it go. He knows you are avoiding talking about it with him, because Jeno is the one that can see through you like you are made of class. Your words aren't enough to distract him from how much your heart is hurting, at this point he knows you like the palm of his hand and always catch you falling into your old habit of doubting yourself.
Finally, Jeno opts for the second option and you can't help but feel immense relief filling your small body.
"Ok, I will help you." 
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You are almost done with your poem, writing about a perfect relationship of a modern married couple. You are almost happy with the way it is all coming along, almost feeling confident in your writing. That goes down the drain when you see Mark in of one the halls of your campus.
His hair is black now and you know that she was the one that helped him dye it, because you have the worst impulse of checking his Instagram story even though you know you shouldn’t. He posted innumerous videos where you could see the reflection on the mirror, he laughing at someone that was at his side, he teasing that someone in a lovely way and then, almost in the end, you could hear her calling him babe and telling for him to stop, her voice mixing with her laugh. You blocked your phone instantly, not wanting to risk to see a photo of them both. 
You are going and he is coming and you know that you will walk by him and there is no scape but having to talk to him for one of the first times since you two broke up for good. You don't know what to say but your feet aren't stopping and neither is his. He has a weird look on his face and you can't tell if he is sad or if he pities you. 
You two get closer and you can feel your hands sweating and your bottom lips trembling. You clear your throat, swallowing nervously.
"Hey!" you greet your ex with a fake smile painted on your mouth. "Are you going to Chenle house this friday?" 
A bunch of expression pass thought his face as you know that he didn’t expected for you to try to keep a conversation with him, and you can't catch any of the emotions but soon, he settles for a grin that is either a happy or an amused one. Either way you know that is a fake one because you know him too well. Despite of that, he doesn't point that you are also faking, so you retributes the favor. 
"Yeah,” he trails off embarrassed. "It is a movie night right, just us?" 
You let all the air that you were holding go and tightens your hold to the straps of your backpack. Hearing Mark saying just us opens a bunch of ideas and memories in your mind, things that you shouldn't be thinking about right now, in front of him. You remind that he isn't talking about you and him, about you two being a thing, he is simply saying that it will be just our group of friends. The Dream Boys and you, the girl that made your away into their lives so deeper that they couldn't let you go even after you broke up with one of them way too many times.
"Yep, missed those." you reply sheepishly, but honestly. "Not that I mind the parties but-"
"Jaemin and his parties can be a little too much, I feel you." Mark laughs breathlessly and shake his head.
You look down at your finger as you remember this phrase from a time where things were different. It seems like it was ages ago and you hate it. 
"Mood" you simply nod at his words. "Well, see you then!" 
Mark nods and then looks down to your face, right into your eyes, his gaze uncertain. You can see that there is too much stuff that he wants to say to you and too much stuff that you want to say to him. You also sees that it is too late and you can't find a place and time to say those things to him, and he can't gather the courage to voice out the things that he wants to say to you because he is happy with his new girlfriend, he really is, and he can't open old things that he isn't sure that later he will be able to close them again. So, for different but close reason, you two swallow your words. 
"Okay," his voice is small and you barely catch it. "Be there-"
"Or be square, I know." you bite your lip, trying to suppress the nervous giggle that is trying to make its way up your throat. "I will see you friday." 
Then you both walk away. 
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The week soon comes to an end and before you realize it is Friday after noon and Donghyuck is impatiently honking his car outside your apartment complex.
"Y/N you friend is here!" your roommate calls you from the living room. "It is that one that I always want to punch right on the face." 
"Tell him that in coming, Bella!" you scream back from your room, gathering your pajamas and pushing them into your backpack as tonight everyone is planning on doing a slumber party.
"She is getting ready, jesus!" you hear Bella screaming angrily at the top of her lungs and the honking stop.
You get everything that you need and rushes for the front door but before you can exit you feel your roommate hands wrapping around your arm and stopping you.
"Why are you doing this?" she blurts out as soon as you look at her.
"Doing what?" you reply tilting your head in confusion.
"Going to his friend's house!" 
"They are also my friends." 
"But they were his friends first, not yours." she warns you in a caring tone.
"The relationship between me and Mark is over,” you sigh and pause. “but not my friendship with the boys. Everyone is mature enough to understand that." 
"Fine!" Bella drop it taking her hands off of you but also points a finger at your face. "But don't say that I didn't warm you!" 
You roll your eyes and slam the door behind you, repeating in your mind that Bella is just your friend and she is just worried, that nothing is going to happen, everything is alright and you two are mature enough to separate your relationship from the friendship that you both have with the boys. However, you can't stop from letting her words get to you.
You greet and joke with Donghyuck like nothing is wrong, you sing along with him to an old Taylor Swift song that no one needs to know that you two like, you laugh at his jokes and enjoy the ride as if you are just fine. Pretending that deep down you aren't thinking way too hard about the warnings of your roommate. 
"Y/N? Y/N?" you are brought back to life with Donghyuck voice. "Chop chop, girl. We are here and I want to eat some popcorn before the guys eat it all." 
"Oh." you whispers more to yourself than to your friend.
You grip your things and exit the car, embracing yourself for the worst.
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The worst never came. What came is so horrendous that you don't even have a word for it. 
Donghyuck pounds the door like an angry old man and you bump your shoulder into his to let him know that he needs to be gentler. It is Renjun who opens the door.
"Ah, it is the devil!" he grumbles with a monotone voice before turning to you and letting his expression become softer. "I'm not talking about you Y/N, you are a blessing and we are really thrilled that you are here." 
"Is it Y/N?" you can hear Jeno screaming from somewhere inside the house but you can't answer because Renjun and Donghyuck starts bittering with each other.
"Guys!" you elevate your voice and put a hand in their shoulders. "Let get in and watch some gore horror movie, please!" 
"Hell yeah!" they say in unison and finally you get into the house. 
Jeno is the first one to come to you, giving you a big hug and whispering into your ear that you are his best friend and that he missed you and he loves you. You find it all too strange but Jeno is a needy boy so you simply pat his back, says that you love him to and let it go. 
Then Chenle comes with popcorn and blankets. 
"I reserved a whole couch for you, Y/N!" he informs you with a big proud smile.
"Well, you have like five couches so that isn't too hard." you joke and mess with his green hair. "But thank you. I would rather share it with you guys, I missed this!" 
Then there is Jaemin who comes running into your direction and you don't even see him before he is slipping his arms over your shoulder in a protective way and bringing you close to him. 
"You can share with me then!" he says with a flirty voice and a wink that doesn't really mean anything.
Jaemin guides you into the living room and as soon as you get there you realize why they are acting so strange and overprotecting.
There, in a chair that is too small for two, is Mark and his girlfriend. They are rolled up in a blanket, so close together that they almost look like one being. Mark has a gleam upon him as he looks at her face and her hands as she is talking about something that you can't hear from afar, but from the way her pink lips are moving and the hand gesturing that she is doing it seems to be a hell of a good story. 
You had never seen her at a good lighting. You evited Mark like the plague once Jeno told you about his new relationship, taking different paths to get to your classes, eating lunch in the safety of your home or at Renjun's dorm, hiding in the kitchen when he brings her to a party. 
You knew the basic about her because you couldn't help but bug Jaemin until he stopped his game and told you almost everything you wanted to know. Her name is Celeste and she is French but her family moved to Korea a few years back and she is just a junior at your college. He tells you that Mark met her at his chemistry class and you laughed bitter at the irony of it all. He tells you that she was the one who asked him out. From all the things that you heard here and there, she seemed like a smart, bubbly girl that just ooze confidence, and you gather all your strength to not hold it against her because you know it. You know it is nobody's fault but yours, you are the one who let him go and she was just lucky enough to be there to catch him. She did nothing wrong.
However, right there seeing they both wrapped in their own world, holding hands and looking at each other like the universe began and ended with them, you couldn't help but feel a nasty feeling rising in your guts. 
Nobody told you how pretty she is, with her silk blond hair that falls into her back, her perfect nose and plump lips. Her smile. Her eyes. Her accent. Everything seems amazing and you can't help but compare yourself to her. You can't help but feel inferior at her presence. 
You can feel yourself shaking, Jaemin hands on your shoulder, Jeno right at your side, but nothing makes your brain stops. You feel your doubt rising and you finally realize that there is no coming back. Every time that you broke up with him, Mark would navigate towards you again and you two would fit like a puzzle. It was an endless circle, on and off. And, poor you, that didn't realize until now that this circle has been broken as soon as Mark talked to her. Naive you that didn't realize that things really ended and this time there is nothing that can make you guys one again.
You are feeling like your heart is coming apart in a pathetic way, right there in the living room, for everyone to see. And then Mark gets away from his own world with Celeste, he looks at the guys and then, finally, he eyes settles on you.
He looks like a deer caught in the lights.
"Hi!" You greet them with a fake happy voice that almost sounds like a yelp.
Luckily, you are quick on your feet and manages to gather all your emotions before Mark can see them all. 
"Hi." he reply quiet, softer than a whisper.
You can feel the tension in the air rising and it is making the situation all too weird but you don't know how to fix it. You are just standing there, in the center of the living room, looking at Mark and his new girlfriend like they aren't from this world.
Thank god that Jaemin comes to your rescue.
"Which couch do you want to sit?" his voice breaks through the uncomfortable atmosphere.
For some reason you point to the couch that is closest to the chair that the lovely couple is in. Jaemin doesn't comment on it, simply guiding you there and sitting at your side while he hands you the blanket. You can feel Mark's eyes following your actions and you can feel the other boys letting a big breath go as they are finally of the zone of gunfire.
Then, everyone gets settled in like nothing happened at all.
"What kind of gore are we going to watch today?" you question Chenle in the best imitation of a narrator voice that you can find. 
Chenle clears his throat and opens his Netflix account. 
"Ok, so, I know we always watch some gore movie with a lot of blood and stupid things like that," he starts and everyone in the room groans because you guys just know where he is going with it. "But! It's been a long time since we, you know, didn't get together being sober, so I thought we could watch an 80's movie about friendship and things like that, right?"
You hide your face into your knees because you already know that all of the boys are going to break into an argument. 
"Please, I won't watch the Breakfast Club!" you hear Jisung voice rising above all of the others.
You let a huff leave your mouth and you can hear Jaemin laughing at your side, you take your head out of your hiding just to shoot him an ugly look, but that isn't enough to make him drop that stupid smirk of his. 
"Let's do this," he screams really loud and everyone else stops. "Y/N should pick the movie." 
"Why?" you splutter, choking because of his words.
"Because you are my favorite person in the room." 
Jaemin shrugs his shoulders like it obvious and you roll your eyes at him. In the background you can hear Renjun and Jisung faking to be sick at the clinginess, Donghyuck booing and Jeno and Celeste laughing. 
Jaemin winks at you and you turn your head to the other way, felling your cheeks getting redder. You know he means nothing about it, he is like that with everything that has a pair of legs, but even after almost one year of friendship you can't help but blush when he is acting like that.
At your periscope vision you can see that Mark is looking at you and Jaemin like you two are a mystery that is too hard to crack. That makes you snap out of your head.
"Ferris Bueller's Day Off?" you ask Chenle, uncertain. 
"I thought you hated Ferris." his voice breaks in for the first time since you awkwardly greeted each other. 
You look in his direction, but not at his face. You turn your attention to his hands that are seated in Celeste's thigh, making small circles with his thumbs. You sigh. 
"I do." you answer honestly. "But is a classic, you know?"
Then you finally face him and with a force that you didn't even know you had, you send him a big smile. 
"Oh, I hate him too!" she snoops in with her velvety like voice. "He is a douche." 
You take a deep breath and lets out a fake giggle. Celeste is looking at you with nothing but good things in her expression, nothing but want to know you and to be close to the only girl in the room and you can't help but feel like you are going to be sick. 
You don't think she is your enemy, but it is really hard to look at her and know that now she is the one that kisses Mark, now she is the one that jokes with him at ogle hours, she is the one who wakes him up to tell about her weird dreams, she is the one that holds his hands, make him smile. She is the one now. Not you. 
"I guess we haven't met before, did we?" she frown her brows trying to remember about you.
"We didn't," you save her from all the thinking. "I'm Y/N! You are Celeste, right?"
"That's me!" her voice gets mixed with her warm laugh and you want to throw up. 
You look around the room trying to find someone to save you as Mark seems to be just uncomfortable as you are. The first pair of eyes that sets on you is Jeno, of course, always there to help you.
"Ferris it is?" he asks with a soft voice and a knowing smile. 
"Ferris it is!" before you can say anything Chenle screams and already press the play button on the movie.
After that, everything gets a like quitter. Jaemin puts an arm around you and you settle against his torso, the bucket of popcorn between you both. 
Donghyuck is on a couch all by himself and you can see that he is half paying attention to the movie and half paying attention to his cellphone, as he finally got the number to the cute girl in his algebra class. Chenle and Jisung are close together and commenting everything that happens in the movie, making snarking comments while Renjun is giving them some ugly stares to try and make they shup up. It isn't working.
In that moment, it seems like the perfect night. The lights are turned off and the slightly blue gleam that comes from the huge TV makes everything seems like is coming out of a dream. You feel your shoulders relaxing under Jaemin arm, you feel your heart being filled with love and caring for all the boys in the room, even the one that you managed to break and hurt. You think about how grateful you are for that party that put them in your life, all the moments you had with them and how they make your life more exciting than you could ever hope it to be. Even with all the storm, you manage to find moments where you can be happy. 
Then, in the scene that Ferris is singing to the Beatles, your eyes catches Jenos eyes and you mouth a thank you for earlier. He gives you one of his classics smiles where he eyes turns into crescents moons. 
Yeah, even after everything, you are happy that even the bad things brought these idiots into your life. 
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The movies end with laughs and screams (those are from Chenle, of course). Jaemin stretch himself and takes his arm from your shoulders. 
"Ok! Time for the gore now!" he announces.
"Finally!" Donghyuck exclaims and they both get up to search for the perfect movie. 
You shake your head in disbelief and let a laugh escapes your lips. 
"Who you make the second round of popcorn?" Jisung quirks.
"It's just microwave popcorn, is not that hard!" Renjun mumble. 
"Yeah, but it's cold and I'm comfortable in here!" Jisung argues and you have to give that to him, it is a good argument. 
"I'll do it." Mark butts in with a confident tone. 
He gets up from the way too small chair and stretches his legs and torso and you have to look away when the shirts rise up to show his defined muscles. You curse him and almost think that he is doing that on purpose.
"I can help you!" Celest exclaim with way too much energy.
Oh, yeah. Mark doesn't need to do anything to get to you, because he already has a beautiful and lovely girlfriend right here.
"It's ok, babe," his voice is low and delicate when talking to her. "Stay here and get to know the boys better, promise they don't bite."
You fish your phone from the pocket of your sweater and pretend to be texting someone, so they won't know that you are listening to their conversation like a pathetic and jealous little girl.
"Ok, honey." Celeste voice is graceful and it seems like she gets happy with everything that anyone says. You almost want to be like that. 
"Y/N can help me!" Mark pulls that out of nowhere and you can't help but widen your eyes and look like he lost his mind.
"Me?" your voice shake as you question him and points a finger to yourself.
Mark only nods and make a movement with his hands that leave you with no options than following him. You shoot a panicked look to Jeno before you disappear into the kitchen, but he is too busy making small talk with the French girl. Great.
"Do you know where Chenle keeps the popcorn?" your ex asks as soon as you two get to the kitchen.
"Top shelve, right there." you point the direction to him. 
You sit in the center balcony, watching as Mark gets out at least six package of microwave popcorn and the same amount of bowls. 
"Shit," you let it escapes you. "We should have gotten the buckets that we used earlier, so we don't make a bigger mess." 
Mark looks at all the bows in front of him and sighs. 
"Yeah, that seams smart." he says with a little smile. "We stupid." 
"We are," you shrug. "But we can force someone else to wash the dishes with the excuse that we already did the tiring quest of turning the microwave on." 
Marks lets a real laugh at that and it feels like you are hearing the sun if it could speak. His laugh is warm and welcoming and you can't help but also let a small laugh to keep him company. 
"Well, I'm doing all the work here!" he points at the popcorns and the bowls. 
You roll your eyes and gets off the counter.
"Here, let me put them in the microwave for you then." you sticks your hand out for him. 
"Hm." he pauses for a moment. "Should we put them all in the microwave and risk burning the house or should we stay here for at least 20 minutes putting one by one?" 
It is a good question. 
"As much as I know that Chenle has enough money to deal with the burning the house thing, I think we shouldn't risk that." 
"Yeah. They will probably be still arguing about horror movies when we get back." 
"Hope your girlfriend doesn't get bored." you can't help but let the venom drip out from your tongue, but you regret it instantly.
That ultimately kills the mood and Marks hands you the first round of popcorn without looking at you. Then, the only sound in the kitchen is the microwave working it magic and the pop sound. Then there's a beeping and the first packet is ready. Mark handles you another one.
Things go like that until right before he is handing you the third packaging. You reach it for it but he drawn it back, looking at you again. He takes a deep breath and ask you the most absurd thing he could ask. 
"Are you-" his voice shake and also does his head. "Are you and Jaemin a thing now?"
He finally gives you the popcorn and you almost drop it to the floor. What the hell? You and Jaemin? The one Jaemin that doesn't leave you alone because every time he sees you, he just need to ask your roommate number even through you always says that he should grow a pair of tidies and ask it himself? That Jaemin? And you? A thing? And even if you guys were, which you are not, why does that concern your ex? Why is he acting like he is afraid that you are going to confirm his question? Is that why he asked for your help? So, he could get you alone and ask you this?
You can feel your head doing turns and turns and if you were a computer you would have now a sign in front of you with big red letters saying Error!, however you aren't and you can't scape the question. 
You take a breath and look at Mark right in the eyes, firm and certain.
"No." your voice is sharp like a knife. "We are not a thing. We are friends, Mark." 
The microwave beeps and the third package are ready. Instantly, without breaking the eye contact, Mark handles you another one. 
"The way you two are acting, it seems like you two are." he says with fire coming from his throat and you know that he has the full intention of getting in your nerves.
"Why do you care about the way I act with other people?" you question him with fury. "I can act like I want with anyone. We aren't in a relationship anymore." 
The microwave beeps again. One more package ready. Two to go. 
"Why is that?" he screams whispers so no one else you hear you two. "Whose fault is that?" 
You stop working. You stop looking at him with blood in your eyes, you stop holding your grounds, you let it all go out. All the fury and the rage of the moments drops out of you and is soon replaced with pain and embarrassment. You never thought that Mark would say those worlds to you. 
They are indeed truth but you never expected the boy that you thought that was nothing but sunshine would throw then in your face with so much bitterness. You can see that his face also drops and that his hands is shaking and that he didn't meant to say that. Well, good, but it is too late now, the words left his mouth and went straight to your heart, to break it again and again. You lost count of how many times you hurt Mark and he hurt you right back.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. I didn't mean to say that." he says, voice all soft and his hands reaches out to you but you give a step back.
"I know." you say and your voice manage to stay firm even though you feel like you could cry at any moment. 
"I'm sorry too." you offer. "I'm sorry for making you fight too much for me, I'm sorry that in the end it wasn't the lack of love but my own doubt that got us here. In this mess." 
"Hey, don't say it like that." his voice is reassuring, but that isn't enough.
"It is the truth, Mark." you lamented, rising your eyes to look at him. "I'm sorry for messing us up."
Mark were already gazing you when you looked at him, his eyes has so many emotions blotted in that even you, who knew him better than anyone, couldn’t point them all. Everything you could see was a mix of sadness, disappointment and truth. The last one was the one that hurt you the most, the way he is so ready to be open to you, to listen to you, to hear you. Even after all the damage that you caused to him.
You know that he is one step from saying all the things that he wants to say, all the words that he swallowed before, all the pain and all the love. It is almost all getting out, but you can't do that. Not right now.
"Are happy, Mark?" you mutter, cutting him even before he can open his mouth. "With her?" 
Mark fidget with his fingers, taking his gaze away from your face. He takes a deep breath and you can see that his hands are holding the edge of the balcony behind him so hard that his knuckles are turning white. 
"I am." he replies shyly, but honestly. "I am happy with Celeste." 
You simply nod your head, already knowing that this would be his answer. You knew from the way he talked to her, how his eyes shined upon her and how he acted like everything she said was like the best thing he ever knows. You knew that it wasn’t love, but you also know that it can be. Mark looks at her in the way that he used to look at you, in the beginning, with flushed cheeks and half smiles. 
You knew all of this already. However, that doesn’t stop your cheeks from flushing hot and bright. You need to take a breath to calm yourself down. You count to five. One, two, three, four and five. Then, you smile at him, a little and tight one, the kind that only lift slightly the corners of your mouth.
"Then that's all that matters.” you say truthfully. “I'm happy that you are happy with her." 
"But...” he trails off.
You shake your head, signaling for him to shut up. Despite the smile on your face, you can feel the tears forming in your eyes, ready to come out at any second. You turn on your heels, away from him and focus on the task of putting all the popcorns into the bowls.
You can't bear to talk about it right now, not in this kitchen, not when your friends are waiting for you both. Not when everyone expects you to act like you a bubble of happiness. You can't open this door now, not when you are so vulnerable for everyone to see.
"Not now." your tone comes out soft, barely above a whisper.
Mark looks exasperate like this is the only time he has to says those things, like all his courage will be drained out of him and he will never be able to expose those feelings again. You know better, you know that even though you are not together, you and Mark navigate around each other like two planets, united from a force bigger than you both. There will be a time for him to discuss those things with you, sooner.
Mark seems to get that or to even reconsider. Even without looking at him, you know what is going on his mind. He is probably thinking about Celeste, in the living room, waiting for her boyfriend to return. He is thinking about you and what is best for you. For those reasons, he drops it. 
You two don't talk again in the kitchen. You two splits the bowls and take them to the living room. Like Mark said, the guys are still discussing about which horror movie to watch.
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You are sure that it was a good horror movie, because Donghyuck was the one that picked it and he is a master in finding the most horrifying movies on Netflix. However, you can't even remember how the horror movie ended. You can't even point a part where the jump scares got you. You can't even think about a single part of the movie where your mind wasn't focused on Mark.  Your mind kept drifting to the conversation you two didn’t had on the kitchen.
You could hear Donghyuck teasing Renjun because the boy is the one that gets most affected with these kinds of movies. You can hear Jisung and Chenle laughing, Jaemin planning to scare Renjun in the middle of the night with Mark. Everyone is having a good time, even Celeste, the poor thing that is just as scared as Renjun, but it feels like you aren't actually there. Like you are in another plane of existence where the only thing that happens is your conversation with Mark in the kitchen, once and once again playing it all in your head.
"Y/N?" Jeno's voice brings you back to the present and everyone's attention turns to you. "Are you ok?" 
You are caught in the with your hands dirty and you can't think of another excuse.
"I'm not." you stutter to everyone in the room. "I'm fucking scared. Who choose that movie? I hate it." 
The tension is gone as fast as it was formed and everyone in the room turns into laughs. Everyone but him. Mark knows you are lying but he doesn't say anything about it. 
"It's okay!" Donghyuck says with a happy tone. "We'll all sleep together here, if some demon tries anything, we can outnumber it and kick it ass!"
"Oh, so for Y/N you give a lovely encouraging speech but for me!" Renjun rebuked, throwing a pillow in Donghyuck directions. "You guys are planning to scare me in the middle of the night and I know with. The favoritism is showing!"
"Of course, it is!" Donghyuck reply in a childish voice. "Everyone know that the babies of the group are Y/N and Jisung, so yeah, the favoritism is real." 
You shoot Jisung an empathic look and he just shily smiles at you, shrugging his shoulder as he is trying to say that there is no escape from being the baby of the group. You feel a little better after that and let the conversation flow with a little smile on your face. 
You offer to help Jeno and Chenle with the mattresses that they are bringing to the living room while the others take the couches out of the way. You also get pillows and blankets for everyone. 
And then when everything is settled and everyone is laying down, as the classic tired college student that everyone in the room is, the conversation dies rapidly and everyone falls asleep.
Everyone except two people.
You can't seem to find a single drop of sleep in your body, your mind is working way too fast to open space for sleep. You burry your face into your pillow and wait for it to go away. You try to think of the movie, your next week exam, the way you feel like you are falling behind in one of your classes. You try to busy your mind with other problems that you have right now, but that just isn't enough to take your mind away from the elephant in the room.
You lift your head from the plush pillow and look to a specific part of the living room. Your eyes lay first on Celeste, who is sleeping soundly in her mattress, her face is looking peaceful. Then your eyes fall into the mattress that is right next to her, it is empty.
It feels like an invitation. Like a come and talk to me, type of thing. Like an open door to get to a final conclusion. You take your eyes away from the empty mattress and ponders the pros and cons of getting up to find Mark. 
You know where he is and you also know that he has something to say to you. However, you will be able to hear it? Will you be able to hear it and then pretend like nothing happened? Is it really the best option?
You stay in those questions for at least thirty minutes, repeating then in your mind. Finally, you huff in frustration and get up. It's now or never.
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When you get to the roof, Mark is sitting there, his face illuminated by the stars and the moon, the things that he is looking up to with so much admiration in his gaze. It feels almost exactly like a year and a half ago. Except that today, nobody is drunk, there is no sound coming from the house and his soft smile doesn't reach his eyes when he looks at you.
"Hi." he greets you quietly, voice barely above a whisper.
"Hi." you greet him back, quieter and softer.
You sit close to him and you blush when you feel his arms brushing against yours, Mark seems to not notice this, or if he does, he doesn't comment on it. The weather isn't warm like the first time, winter is already in the corner so it is cold and you can't help but shiver at the wind. Mark doesn't put his arms around you like he would when you two were together. 
"Couldn't sleep." you confess to him, even though he already knows. "Kept thinking about what you wanted to say." 
Mark Lee is a beautiful man. You think for the million time when you look at him. The black suites him, he has a more mature face, sharpen jawline, deeper eyes and a more grown up vibe. However, you know him this time. You know how he likes his breakfast, you know how he drinks his coffee, you know how it is to make sex with him, you know his fears and his desires. You know how he isn't sure that he is in the right path, the right major, you know that he likes the stars and he likes to dance. You know that he writes rap songs about everything that he feels and keep them away from the world, only showing them to you. 
(You wonder if he already showed them to Celeste, but you don’t pursue this thought, as it can do more damage than good.)
You definitely know that he is a happy idiot but you also know that he is more than that. So much more. He is the most hardworking person that you even met, he is easily flustered, he is romantic to the bone, he is smart and kind and everything that you could hope to find in someone. You know that he is your biggest regret. 
Like he can read your mind, Mark finally turns his gaze to you and asks the big question.
"Do you remember when you told me that you love me for the first time?" his voice is so quiet that you almost loose it in the wind.
"I do." you simply nod your head.
You were both sitting in the couch of your house. Your roommate was away for the weekend, gone to visit her parents. Mark took you to the supermarket and helped you buy everything that you needed, he insisted that you got into the shopping cart and he carried you around, running, laughing and screaming. You felt like you were back in your fifteens and you were actually living those romance movies that you liked to watch nonstop. 
Then he took you home, never letting go of your hand. You made dinner and then sat down in front of the TV to watch a show that you both enjoyed at the time. You remember that you two weren't going out for too long, only a month and a few days, but you felt it. Deep into your bones. Into your hearth and into your soul. You could feel it flow into you and get bigger and bigger and you couldn't hold it to yourself anymore.
"I love you!" you declared between one episode and another. 
Mark almost dropped the plate that he was holding and looked at you with widen eyes and parted lips. You said, ok this is it, you said it too soon, too bold and he doesn't know how to act. You thought that you had screwed everything.
However, Mark soon put his plate away, coming closer to you to hold your face in his hands. His finger caressed your cheeks and you inclined into that feeling, closing your eyes to pay attention in his breathing fanning your face, the way his fingers were shaking and how warm his hands were. 
"I love you too!" he gushed between laughs. "So much!"
Then his lips met your and you could feel his soft smile into your skin. He pressed his lips into yours so softly that you felt like you were the most precious thing in the world. 
"We were happy, weren't we?" you ask him with tears in your eyes.
"We were." he reply with honesty dripping from his velvety tone. 
Mark can't take the way you are looking at him anymore so he looks back to the sky and you copy him. You don't try to stop your tears this time, letting they flow through you, all the pain getting exposed to him, leaking trough you and dripping in the wooden of the roof, you could feel that you are coming apart at which word that leaves his mouth. Mark still doesn't hug you or makes any movement to console you. 
"Do you remember the last time we broke up?" he quirks, his voice coming out hoarsen. 
"I tried to forgot. Turns out, I can't." you reply with an ironic laugh. 
You were crying and so was he, tears expressing your brokenness, your force running out of you. Mark was sitting on your bed begging for you to stop.
"Why you don't trust me?" he asked between sobs, holding so tightly into your blanket that you suspected that it could rip apart at any moment.
"It's not that, Mark. You know that." you hiccups, forcing his hands away, away from you, away from your blanket. "I'm not enough, not for you. You need someone who is happier, who will love you better. Someone that believes in themselves and is confident enough to accept your love."
"But I don't want anyone else!" he snapped, tears running freely in his face. "I love you and you alone, Y/N. Why can't you accept that?" 
"How? How can you love me, Mark?" you yelled right back. "Look at me, I'm too hard to please, I'm not too good looking, my personality sucks and..." 
Mark got closer to you and hold your face into his hands, whipping out your tears and kissing your forehead innumerous time. You wanted to hold him into your arms until you would change your mind, but you didn’t. Your hands stayed heavy by your side, not giving him any form comfort. 
"We talked about this, babe." he whispered and his mouth brushed against your skin. "Remember in the roof when I said that you are the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen? It was and it is the truth. I love you. All the things about you. Your personality and your face." 
You shake your head. You can't believe in him, not after everything that happened to you. All the things that you never had the courage to tell him or anyone else. All the things that your ex made you believe and now, years after that relationship ended, you can't get these things out of your head.
"This is my decision, Mark." you got away from his hold and looked right into his eyes. "I'm not going to bring you down. I'm not going to let you get stuck with me and my mess. I don't want to." 
You could see that he was tired from going through this every time. You could see that he wanted to try, just one more time, but he didn't have the energy to do so. Not after everything that you made him go thought, all the pain you caused to him and all the hope you have him to just broke up with him again.
Mark got up, looking at you with tears in his eyes, for the last time. Giving you one more chance to not let him go.
"This is the last time." he said to you. "If I get out of this door, I'm not going back." 
You wanted to scream it, let it flow through you, tell him how much you love him and how much you wanted to be with him, but you didn’t know how. You didn’t know how to be with him without hurting him over and over again. In the end you didn't say anything. 
Mark walked out of your room, leaving a trail of sadness and regret behind you, leaving you to sob quietly in your room by yourself.  Only a month later he found Celeste. 
All the memories are too much for you and you can't help but sob quietly into your arm, not wanting to make too much sound and wake up everyone else.
"I'm sorry," he offers for you. "I'm sorry for how I said it. I was angry and tired and sad." 
"I know. I was too. I'm sorry too." you laments. 
Mark nods and accept your apology. His eyes then turn away from the sky and he looks at you with tears in his eyes, a broken expression painted in his face and you almost jump to hug him and tell him that it is ok. You two will be ok. 
"Why you didn't believe in me?" he asks you between softly sobs. "Was it something that I done?"
That broke you more than everything did before. All this time Mark was thinking that he was the one that did something wrong. All the time he has been blaming himself.
"You didn't!" you quickly answer, your voice raising a bit. "It was nobodys fault but his.”
You finally open up about it, about the way you’ve been hurt, about the thing that you feel weakest, about the past that you can't let go. “I had a shit ex. Abusive. He would tell me horrible things, that nobody would love me, that I was ugly and not enough for him. That I needed to change, that I needed to try hard to be who he wanted me to be. And I tried. I tried so hard, you know? But in the end, he left me for a friend of mine." 
You take your eyes away from Mark, feeling weak in front of him. You can't handle the way he is looking at you, pity mixing with anger and sadness. 
"Before he left me, he came to my parents' house and screamed at the top of his lungs that I was nothing, that I was just a game that he got tired of playing and I was hard maintenance and that everyone that falls for me is doomed." you sobs more and more as the words leave you for the first time in forever. "My mom had to call the cops to throw him out. Never saw him again. Moved to Korea just to make sure of that." 
At that, at your words, Mark finally hugs you with all his strength. You buried your head in his neck and cry in there, feeling his warmth around yourself, feeling his smell, feeling his arms. You cry there in his arms, the place that you feel most secure in the world. 
Mark put his head in your hair and takes a deep breath. You missed being this close to him so much and he missed you right back.
"This isn't true." he whispers into your head. "I'm sorry that it happened to you and I wish I could make you see that It isn't true. None of these things are and this guy is a fucking douchebag, ok?" 
You nod against his neck and you can feel his hands moving gently up and down in your back.
"I wish I could make you see how beautiful you are. How amazing you are." he still whispering softly just for you and the stars. "How much you helped me how much I grow up with you. How much you taught me and how grateful I'm for you. I wish I could make you see how I still love you." 
Your breath gets stuck in your throat and you can't do anything except hold him tighter and closer to you, crying even harder than before. 
"I wish I could make you see those things. But I can't. I can't, Y/N. You need to do it yourself. You know?” he quirks, lips moving against your hair. “And it isn't weakness to seek for help. Professional help. It is strength. And you are the strongest person that I know. Please, help yourself because you are the only one that can do it." 
He goes a little back even though you are holding so tight into his shit that it seems like you will never let it go. Mark holds your face into his hands and brings you towards his face, making you look right into his shinning eyes.
"But I will be there for you." he says, looking at you with a gleam in his brown eyes. "And all the boys are too. We love you and we will be right here whenever you need us, you know that right?" 
You look at his eyes, searching for anything to feed your doubts but you can't find anything. Right in front of you is Mark, holding your face between his big hands, saying words of love and hope. Right in front of you is the boy that showed you love, that made you believe in it again, the boy who told you all his secrets, the boy who trusted you with his life. The boy who fought for you more times than anyone ever did. The boy that loves you and would never do anything with the intentions of hurting you. 
"You are the most beautiful of things." you whispered to him, turning your head slightly to kiss his left hand. "And I love you. I still love you. You will always be part of me. Thank you for everything, Mark Lee. Thank you for being yourself." 
He laughs a little between his cries and brings your forehead so he can touch it with his. You can feel his breath against you skin. You can feel his fingers shaking and you can feel all the love that he is sending to you right now. You close your eyes and leans into that feeling. It is a great thing, to just be here with him, sharing the love that you both have for each other, telling things that you both wanted to tell since that day in your house. 
When you came to the roof you carried a thought with you. You said that everything began in this roof so it is only fair that it ends at it too. 
However, this is and ending. This is the beginning of something new. 
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You and Mark get down from the roof only after the sun has risen. You two stayed all night talking about your relationship, all the laughs, all the cries, all the goods and all the bad. Then, together, you came down.
Everyone in the living room was surprisingly awake, they seemed worried but that changed as soon as they saw you both coming from the corridor that leads to the roof. Everyone stayed still, giving each other weird looks. 
You looked at Celeste and she seemed so small and lost, looking between you and Mark with betrayal and hurt in her eyes. Mark must have seen the same thing because he turns to you with a questioning look. 
"Go." you give him a kiss in the forehead and let go of his hand. 
You let him go to her, you see as he takes her hand and leads her for the backyard. You see him walking away with her. And it hurts. It really does, but less than before, because this time when he gets back you will be there at his side. As his best friend. 
"Is everything okay?" Jeno is the first to get to you and he ask this with the softest voice he can find. "Are you two back together?" 
"Nope." you reply with a click of your tongue.
"Then why are you smiling that much?" 
"Because I know everything will be alright." you simply says. "And also, now you have a rival as my best friend." 
At that Jeno fakes a groan that soon turns into a smile that you are gladly to join him into. He leads you into the living room and you hug all your boys.
You are finally feeling happy without needing to deal with a heavy burden into your shoulder.
Everything will be alright, as you said.
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Six months after that and everything is indeed alright. You found a good therapist that was helping you like no one else could, but of course that was only possible because you are being open for the help.
You wrote a poem about Mark for your creative writing class. Jeno helped you with that. The poem was about a beautiful relationship that transformed into an even prettier friendship. You wrote about how you can love the same person in innumerous ways. 
You gave a copy to Mark and he cried like a baby. You two seemed to cry a lot after that day, you do cry but you also talk, about the future, the past, your classes, your fears and your dreams. You walk around campus with him by your side, laughing about some inside joke or teasing each other about something cringe that you used to do when you were a couple.
(Deep down you still missed those things, but those are the kind of secret that you don't need to share with Mark.)
You even began a truly friendship with Celeste. However, before it could really grow, they broke up. Turns out that she wasn't really the one. She had to go back to big old Paris two weeks after that night and her and Mark tried the long-distance thing for almost a month before it couldn't work out anymore. 
"Hey, how are you and Celeste?" Renjun asked one day when you were all sitting in a big table at the coffee shop near the campus.
Mark took a deep breath and looked at you.
"It wasn't working out." he simply answered.
You looked at him too.
"I'm so sorry Mark, I know how you liked her." you said with empathy.
You two never talked about that anymore. You didn't make an effort to get back together and neither did him. 
Then, one day, you were sick of your roommate. Not that you don't love her, you do, but the finals are just around the corner and you can't help but groan every time she invites her study group to your apartment to discuss something about physics, calculus, or whatever else they are discussing that day.
You know that Renjun's dorm is your safe space, but he has a test in two days so you don't want to bug him. Chenle and Jisung are away, visiting Chenle's parents for some reason that you didn't quite understand. Jaemin is, well, Jaemin which means that he will only text you back four hours later.
So, you text Mark and Jeno and hopes for the best, hopes that one them you will able to help you. 
Jeno replies quickly saying that he is doing some paper work for his teacher as part of his internship. You groan, damn Jeno for being such a good student. Them, five minutes later, Mark also text you a whatsupp, doing nothing want to come here?, and thats how you end up in his dorm in a thurdays afternoon, when you should probably be studying for you own finals, just like Mark also should be. Neither of you mentions that.
"Hey," he casually greets you when you get there. "not to be rude Y/N, but why are you here?" 
"Rude!" you jokingly point out. "My roommate was talking about physics again and I needed to get out." 
Mark make a face and you chuckles at it. You two hates physics. 
"My roommate is out for a basketball game," he says. "do you want to go and watch it?" 
Mark's roommate is a guy named Jaehyun, he is a year or two older than you both, and is a little celebrity in your college, due to his good looking and his heart of gold. You think he is a little overlooked, because Mark is clearly prettier and smarter (your own roommate says that you are biased, so your opinion doesn't count.)
"Uh, I don't really want to..." you trail off, biting your lips and looking at the two comfortable beds. "But I will go if you want!" 
Mark ponders for a moment, frowning his brows. "I don't think I want to." he drawls, sleepy. You let a soft and caring smile escapes you and he do the same. 
"Take a nap and then grab some food?" you offer to him.
"That sound too good, let's do it." he grins at you before jumping on his bed.
You lay down on Jaehyun's bed, because he isn't here to see it, so he will never find out and will never get angry. Mark gives you a quizzing look, however he doesn't voice out what made him so confused.
You two lay down in a comfortable silence for a good half an hour and when you are almost there, almost drifting away to the land of sleep, Mark brings you back.
"Sometimes I still miss her," his voice is quieter, softer than a whisper, you barely catch it. "But sometimes, I'm happy she isn't here anymore." 
You turn into the bed and face him. He is looking straight to the celling and you don't blame him, he probably been wanting to say these words out loud for so long, but he didn't have the courage to. Now, when is just the two of you, he feels more comfortable to do so, because he trusts you like he trust no one else. 
You let his words soak in, not making a sound, waiting for him to put everything that is troubling him out into the privacy of his small dorm room. 
"I wonder what that means, you know?" he quirks, but it is more to himself than to you. "Does it mean that I didn't like her that much?" 
He takes a deep breath in, holding the air. Mark then turns his gaze to meet yours, his eyes are carrying pain and doubts, a feeling that you know well. A feeling that you've been trying so hard to get rid of.
"Did you felt like you liked her when you were with her?" you ask, softly with velvety voice. 
Talking about Celeste doesn't hurt you like it did before. You don't if it is because now you don't have the heavy burden of feeling that it is your fault, that you were the one who let him go and now he is with someone that isn't you, or if it is just because you've been closer to Mark these past months in a way that you never been, in a way that you can understand and respect his feelings even more than before.
You don't know if it is the lack of jealousy because they aren't together anymore or if it because you are actually improving with the help of your therapist. You hope that it is the last one.
"I felt like I could love her," he confesses, only to you. "If he had more time I would definitely fall in love." 
You hum, nodding your head. "Then there you go, Mark. You liked her, see." 
That doesn't seem to settle down his worries, his brown is still frowned and he is doing that little face that he does every time that he thinks too hard about something.
"But, then, why do I feel happy that she is gone?" he asks you like you have the answer to all his problems. 
You don't have that. However, you do your best to help him.
"Do you still like her?" you tilt your head to the side, chewing on your bottom lip.
"Nah, don't like her like that anymore." he replies with his voice dripping with certain. 
"Ok, then you are happy because you don't like her anymore and you aren't being forced to maintain a relationship with a person that you don't like." 
You shrug your shoulders like is the obvious thing, even thought you had to think really hard and really quick to give him an answer. Mark made a sound that seems like a sound of agreement. 
But then he questions you again.
"Then why do I miss her?" 
You sigh, a little tired. You didn't expected to have a heart to heart conversation today, but you don't want to leave him hanging. You roll again into the bed, now facing the celling, because the words that are about to leave your mouth are too coward to go out while you are facing him.
"I miss you sometimes," your voice is barely above a whisper. "Like, you are always around and I love your friendship, but..." you trail off.
Mark doesn't say a thing.
"I miss how we were, I guess." you continue, voice now shaking a little bit. "I miss our relationship because it was part of my story, I miss our relationship because I was happy with you and for a bunch of other reasons. I think it is the same for you and Celeste, you miss her because once you liked her and once you were happy with her. Is just that, don't think too hard about it." 
Mark doesn't reply right away and, truthfully, you didn't expect him to. You just entered a dangerous zone with your worlds, a past that you two talk about, but not without feeling this sense of sadness. Not without being taken with the thoughts of what if. Not without the regret. 
"I miss you too." he admits after a while. "Once you loved me?"
"I always love you." you says, honestly and with a firm voice. "I love you right now."
Then you roll your head to the side and your gaze meets his. He is looking at you with his mouth apart and deer looking eyes, like he didn't expected that you’d blunt that out that easily. Well, it is the truth and now, after all your improvements, you don't see why you should hide the truth. Even if he doesn't feel the same anymore.
"I love you rigt  now too." he confess, lips curving into a satisfied smile.
You don't take your eyes away from him. You simply look down at his lips, they are a beautiful pink color, begging to be kissed. You blush hard at that thought and let an awkwardly giggle leave your mouth. 
"Ok." 
"Wanna grab food now?" Mark offers, voice rising to a happier mood, like nothing happened. 
"It is a date." those words leave your mouth before you can stop them.
"Ok. A date it is."
You didn't knew if he really meant that.
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Now, three months later you are again at a party that Jaemin organized. There is a loud song playing and you aren't hiding in the kitchen this time.
You are screaming the lyrics to the song with Jeno while you jump up and down with Renjun. Mark has an arm throwed around your shoulder and is happily sipping some stupid drink that Jaemin made. 
You play beer pong with Jaemin and is almost winning when he disappears into the crowd with your roommate. You laugh so much at that Jeno has to catch you so you don't fall.
You scream and shouts Chenle’s name as he is participating in a contest of who can drown more shots in a minute. He owns and the other guy throws up into the carpet.
"I almost feel bad about not telling him that Chenle is like a pro at shots." you chuckle, turning to Mark and elbowing him lightly in the ribs. 
"Nah," he answers. "That guy is a pain in the ass and he deserves to lose to Chenle." 
You laugh even more and agree with him. 
You dance, drink and party like you do best with your boys by your side. You feel really happy to have them. You really do, but they also can be too much. 
"I'm feeling a little tired." you complains to the nearest person you can find.
It turns out to be Mark.
"Do you want to relax in the second floor?" he asks you. "We can play some video games there. And I can beat your ass."
"Oh, Lee, you are on for it." 
He does beat your ass. Almost ten times at Mario Kart before you get too angry to play the game and gets up to go to the balcony.
The second floor has a big balcony with a pretty view of the city. From there you can see the people walking the street, laughing and having a good time. Cars moving. Restaurants and bars playing some music. You like that, you like to watch the people. 
"I wonder why I don't come here too often." you whispers to Mark who is now by your side.
"Because the roof is better to see the stars." he says like is the most obvious thing. 
You laugh at him and slightly push him back but he doesn't even move. Mark gives you a dorky smile and you roll your eyes.
"I like people watching and you like to do some star gazing." you state it. "Here we can do both." 
Mark looks up at the starts and the sky is really beautiful tonight. Then he looks down at the people and they all seems interesting, all in their own worlds, all minding their own business. Just like stars in their own galaxies.
"Like Hannah Montana said," he doesn't even finish the sentence and you are already laughing. "The best of the both worlds." 
You throw your head back with a laugh and he settles for a smile, satisfied that he was able to make you laughs. 
You get closer to him until your bodies are touching. Mark has his head up to look at the stars and your gaze is fixed in a cute restaurant that seems to be a hit between couples as more and more of them walk out of the establishment with silly smiles and red cheeks. You smile found of them.
"Taeyong asked me out." you drop it out of nowhere and the boy next to you almost chokes. "You know, the art major from the fourth year. He is pretty." 
"I know who Taeyong is!" Mark answer with a weird voice. "What did you say?"
"Nothing yet." you shrug your shoulders. You know the game you are playing.
You turn your body towards Mark and looks at him with an innocently expression, battling your eyelashes at him. He looks at your eyes and then down to your lips.
"What should I answer?" 
"No." 
Mark says way too fast but that doesn't seem to embarrass him. You smile at that and he smiles back at you. It feels right.
The lights of the second floor are turned off and the only lighting is the one coming from the street below or the moon above. Mark faces looks angelical from this lighting and you can't help but take a step closer to him. He does the same.
You two are so close that you can feel the heat radiating from him and he can feel how fast your heart is beating. You look at his face and you think about how you two grow up in the past six months. How your connection got stronger than ever, how you spend together all the time you guys got to spare and how you have been more open to him than you have ever been to anyone before. You think about all the new things that you learned about yourself and about him. You think about all the parties and all the movie nights. You think about all the lunches he brought to you and all the coffee you gave to him.
You think about your friendship and you think about how you never stopped loving him. That love only got bigger and bigger. 
You look at Mark's face and you catch his eyes falling to your lips. You think about everything you two went through. You see him wetting his lips with his tongue and you think about all the times that you could swear that you guys would kiss but that kiss never came. You think about how amazing Mark Lee is and how you are so sure that he is the one.
You think that he would never hurt you and you would do your best to never hurt him again. You guys hurt each other in the past, that's true, but now. Now you have nothing but love to offer him.
So, you can't help but ask. 
"Mark Lee," you say as you get closer and blushes your lips against his. "Can I kiss you?"
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