#//“i thought youd like this dont ever say a fucking word about this to anyone bye”

[cashclown]

.

[gettinshiggywithit]

!The bnha boys with an s/o who’s just tired of life and who feels like theyre all alone and a burden to everyone around them!

🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧

Tw: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND ATTEMPTS (all prevented and with kinda fluffy endings?)ANGST!

This one hits very close to home...

Characters included:- Eijiro Kirishima ,Katsuki Bakugou,Izuku Midoriya,Denki Kaminari

🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬

Kirishima Eijiro

He would be shocked! Completely BAFFLED

UTTERLY BEWILDERED

how could his s/o think such a thing?????!!!!

They mean the world to him!!

This cannot go on

He holds you tight like your lives depend on it,and in a way yours does....

You hug back because you feel his love for you through his hug,through how he’s holding you like he’s going to lose you

He knew you had bad thoughts but he’d never thought itd get this far!

He clings onto you and drags you down onto the fluffy sheets and wrapping you like a burrito,he holds you again

And you wriggle your arms out to hold him too

You fall asleep like that,that night

And when you awake the next day,you see his sleeping form peacefully dreaming away and remember that no,you werent alone

You had your best friend turned boyfriend with you

And you knew he’d always be there.

Katsuki bakugou

When he comes through the door he hears you not just crying out but howling as you cry and he’s instantly on the defensive

He was ready to fight whoever had you captive

He readied his palms and slowly tip toed into the doorway and as soon as he looked in,

He noticed it was just

You

You were looking up at the ceiling,tears streaming down from your eyes like rivers, and howling out you were clearly in distress

So he instantly softened and slowly made his way towards you

As he was approaching,you turn around and scream out of shock and fall to the floor with you hands on your head

You start to cry again,begging the ‘intruder’ to just put you out of your misery

His heart absolutely shatters!

He immediately falls down next to you and,to his surprise,he’s crying too

It hurts him to see the one person he cares about most,hurting to such an extent

He slowly whispers your name and you open your eyes,the comforting sound of his voice momentarily calming your mind

you look up and are immediately filled with a sense of guilt

How could you let him see you like this

You didnt want to be a bother

And he doesnt let a single apology escape your lips before he captures you in a hug

He’s never hugged anyone this tightly...

And after a second he says,with a shakey voice, “dont you ever fucking apologize you fucking idiot!!! What the fuck?! Why didnt you call me!!!i love you more than ive ever loved anyone or anything!id blast this whole fucking planet to ashes if itd make you smile and thats a fucking promise!!!!”

And this time you could feel his tears through your tee shirt

Katsuki has never EVER been like this

And the fact that he said those words

It made you feel so whole,

And you KNEW bakugou didnt just say shit

He actually meant it

And that was all the clarification you needed

to know whether he was being honest or not

You relaxed into the hug and just held eachother there and ultimately fell asleep

Once you awoke you smelled fresh pancakes and you were also in bed-

You got out of bed and were met with the sight of your boyfriend making you breakfast and as soon as he saw you he put the plates down and within seconds was before you,

He pressed a gentle yet passionate kiss to your lips and the love he felt was clearly visible in his normally-menacing,yet currently soft and kind,eyes🧡

Denki kaminari

It had been a long day and it was only the first half of said day!

He thought of stopping by your room,youd called in sick and he wasnt afraid of a lil old bug!

Besides he needed to give you your notes! And what sort of a boyfriend would he be if he didnt give you your notes!

He walked into your room and immediately knew something was off

It felt different

It felt WRONG

and also chillingly familiar,hed been here when it was like this before...and he knew it wasn’t good..

He set his books down and slowly walked to the toilet.

It was the only lit part of the room

He heard your sniffling and sniffing and darted in

And you stopped like a deer caught in the headlights!

You were removing several panadols from your casing and had a tall glass of water beside it all.

Denki didn’t know how many were there but he Did know that it was no where near the recommended dosage...

He immediately rushed to you and stopped just a few centimetres away and when you didnt react negatively he picked up all the tablets and shoved em into the trash can

He looked back to you and your tear stained face and swollen eyes

And the fear in HIS eyes was almost primal

If be hadnt been there then,he might have just lost you

He thanked whatever higher power had made him want to stop by your room before his next class

He held your hands in his and broke down cryinf right before your eyes

“Y/N PLEASE NO NEVER NEVER DO THATTT,PLEASE JUST CALL ME NEXT TIME ILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU NO MATTER WHAT!!”

“But i didnt wanna bother you too-”

“NO DONT YOU DARE PIN THIS ON YOURSELFF YOURE NOT A BOTHER AND YOU NEVER WILL BE!! NOT TO ME AND NOT TO ANYONE ELSE!!! PLEASE.WEVE GOTTEN THROUGH THINGS TOGETHER BEFORE AND WE’LL DO IT AGAIN!EVEN IF WE HAVE TO DO IT A HUNDRED TIMES MORE.!”

“You mean the world to me y/n and i dont know what id do if i lost you.please,never do it.”

He skipped class that day,and when he told mr aizawa,he understood.

He and you got comfy and momo made yall one of those ceiling projectors.

You guys watched your favorite comfort movie and fell asleep in eachothers arms.

The next day he took you to all your favorite places and suffice to say,it was the best day you’d ever had!

Izuku Midoriya

GIF by ageofthesith

Izuku is scared

He’s scared as HELL

Like he loves knowing abt everyone and everything

But he hasnt seen you like this

At least not this bad.

So he’s scared that he’ll do some wrong

He didnt want to hurt anybody,most of all you

So he stood there for a while and when you turned to where he was standing, something just broke

And you ran into his arms

He was still in shock but out of instinct,he held onto you and he held on like his life depended on it and it did in a way

You were his everything his first love and the only person who had always been in his corner(other than his mom)

He loved you to the moon and back

And the fact that you were suffering alone all this time shook him to his core

And that night he listened as you let go of all your sadness and frustrations

All you misery and all your anger

He listened and he understood

Because to even a certain extent he too had felt the same way

And you both found comfort in how you would always be there for eachother.

No matter what,come rain or shine, izuku would be there,till the end of the line!

🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧

please dont repost my work here as your own on any platform all rights belong to me except that of the mha characters used,their right belong to their respective owners.but this story? mine.

feedback,likes,reblogs and comments are so very appreciated tbh :’)i hope you enjoyed and ill catch ya next time!

Reblogs and comments>>>>>>>>>>>>likes

(#jaya writes #jaya writes for mha0_o #jaya writes for bnha 0_o)

[critco3cxt]

do u have any ideas on how to convince an anti proship (& assumedly antirq) to become rq/proship? i rlly like the person and i honestly dont want them to worry about antis when shipping or doing fiction or to end up being horrible to others because of it. details for more info: -their fine with gore and abuse and horror being shown but VERY anti proship, equates proshippers with pedophiles (not saying their bad of course but still) -bitey as hell, has "PROSHIPPERS FUCK OFF" all over their blog, has them on a dni, etc etc. probably wouldnt listen if its brought up directly -unsure of their reasoning for being anti proship, they may not be aware that some proshippers are venting trauma just like they are when they make art or writtings about abuse, but even if told that i doubt theyd listen (bitey, again.) theres some more details i could give but i dont wanna give out everything abt them, this should be enough details for now though? if u cant help thats fine, i jusg thought youd be one of the best to bring it to!

well, you can start telling them how you did some research and that "fun fact", the word proship comes from shipping wars in the early 2010s and means pro fiction/shipping and that it doesnt mean "problematic ship". also you could use their own gore shipping to compare to then how "you like death and gore but you would never kill someone in real life right?" and tell them for a start that people shipping paraphilic ships *do* acknowledge that they are problematic and ship them for fun, not because they condone them. and that the fun comes from how fucked up they are, just like gore or other edgy fiction. (of course this is not the case of every shipper but you can start slow with them)

clear up the definition of proshipper for them, that it means ship and let ship and anti censorship, compare to them how censorship at its core can always be abused and blown out of proportions, like how there is a book burning queer panic in the us right now/in the recent years. and that everything that is fiction stays in fiction, and that everyone should have freedom of expression.

if they argue that fiction affects reality, it is true *but* it only matters for big corporations and influencers, not individual creators. and most fiction is catered to 18+ individuals *specifically* for them to be mature enough to keep it to fiction.

there is nuance everywhere, and in the end, harassing and attacking *anyone* regardless if theyre a "bad person" or not is cruel.

now as for radqueers, you could link said proship talk with paraphilias, and explain that as people have the maturity to not replicate things in fiction, they will not do so if they have attractions to something either. just how a gay person is not victim of their attraction and wont rape every man they see (it WAS a misconception that existed back in the day), a paraphile will not do so with children or animals. people are people and many do have morals, it's not some "other" that is dangerous. this mentality has been used against queer trans and gay people for centuries and dehumanizing a group of people is just wrong and inaccurate to reality.

then after that, you could slowly introduce them to transids, using parallels with transgender individuals, maybe use plural systems as an example as to how someone can exist in dissonance to their body in more aspects than gender, start with more "tame" identities before talking to them about transharm/ful/ed identities. and when talking about the later, you could kink as an example on how dom/sub relationships can exist in the context of transharm, and how being transharm sorta extends this simply beyond kink.

finally, explain to them that radqueer simply means accepting all these different types of queerness. that queerness means and meant "odd" and weird and different, not lgbtq, hence technically including kink, transids, paraphilias, and any sort of nonconformity ever.

go slow with them, introduce them to concepts one by one! it's a lot of work to undo all the anti propaganda, and we're saying this as ex antis ourselves! be patient, kind, and be ready to protect yourself if they turn against you. but we know it's possible to convince people, even the most aggressive ones! good luck!! hope we helped a little, even if we didnt cover everything 🫶✨ if you have any questions or want us to elaborate on something let us know! ^-^

[thepowerisyouth]

MONEY / FINANCE STRESS CONTENT WARNING, this next line is unfortunately quite stressful about money so this was an important warning for me to add:

This is also less for the random strangers on the internet who have no reason to trust my advice but more for the 10-15 people I know personally who trust my money advice based on prior experience and Ive sent them my blog link in the last month or two

US stock market is about to tank. On a global perspective its stupidly overpriced because markets like China are hitting 5 year lows (as in we've increased our stock market over 2x since "COVID lows", but their market is even lower than it was then.

Timing is hard but it is entirely possible yesterday was the peak of the market. Might also not tank for 6 months.

Market psychology is fucking weird tho so please absolutely dont 'short' anything, which is basically the same as 'buying puts'. Michael Burry nearly bankrupted all his friends, family, and random investors by insisting on 'shorting' things based on knowledge of impending crisis.

Just sell everything. I mean literally everything. Bond etfs might go up but youd have to have eyes glued to the charts to sell in time. Gold wont do, neither will bitcoin. Their negative correlation to stocks isnt really a thing anymore.

Get every etf, stock, whatever into cash in the brokerage account, then move it out of the banks/brokerage firms and into something physically in front of you because we are, in fact, in another 'historical period of bank runs' its just not quite at the peak yet.

Not trying to increase anxiety beyond nessecary-- its just that any, single bank can immediately freeze your money-- leaving it up to the Federal Government to pay you back-- and it might possibly be the case that youd have to rely on whats called a "bank bail in" to see your savings again.

Not a fun situation to be in, even if it wont happen to most people its just safe practice to do this during a "historical period of bank runs"

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This blog is basically my diary of my thoughts (suprise suprise). But Im an open book, privileged (but poor) little white boy with complex societal/generational abuse and very little home problems so lets fucking go theres a whole mormon cargo van to unpack

Definitely recommend tags Im terrible at them.

---

To those reading this, if you have ever met me in real-life or on the internet than you have taught me varying degrees of information which can be randomly retrieved by my brain at any time depending on current CPU performance. Thoughts of my loving husband have occupied my headspace probably 95% of my time since 14 so he has absolutely taught me at least 100x more than anyone else in the world.

When I say "I", oftentimes Im thinking about "me and my husband", or even sometimes "me and my friends/family", or even sometimes "me and society"--- but I am not always 100% aware of the current headspace environment and/or beliefs of the minds of those around me without feedback

---

There are currently over 8 billion individual varieties of the global human language spoken within the mind. Lets start translating them all. Misunderstood words become mean labels.

I fucking hate mean labels

"Math wiz" = racism and/or classism and/or gender shit. Fuck that shit

When a person is niched off into one part of an 8 billion population human society, it becomes impossible to not "live in a bubble". Bubbles change in size constantly even if not visibly observed. Bubbles can be different sizes depending on your current day-to-day thoughts of your own society. Bubbles must pop. Enlightenment implies life only gets better the more times ya pop and lock it

My path away from purely mathematics, logic, and scientific theory began when I met my husband, and for the first time in my life it became important to me not to be an asshole to everyone around me

Ive been told (only after I started dating my traumatized husband tho and helped him heal a lot) that I'm a natural communicator-- and all my life I found myself listening and learning to everything and everyone around me trying to understand both their and my own motivations-- then I like to garble them up and spit 'em out. My memory recall ability is wonky tho and fluctuates highly with nutrient intake-- I'll get into that later

I wish I could have a million years to read every blog on tumblr. I really do. Connecting & communating is extremely important for understanding one another but it takes time

I had an extremely unique childhood (who hasnt lol), enough so to isolate myself quite a lot through sheer dumb luck. My mom is also everyone's favorite school teacher so of course I was learning a lot from a young age. Luckily I glued myself to the first person who wanted to glue themselves to me equally & we grew exponentially closer to eternity

If its still not clear: my husband and I are bored and love chatting with people, but like most internet loving freaks my mouth don't work sometimes well but my fingies do. My ears got fluff a lot but I got eyes for LEDs like a hawk. Wish they werent LED tho

I also have a naturally short sleep cycle (i.e. extra time for this), and I really wont be offended or weirded out by someone reading through and liking 20+ or whatever of my posts at once randomly. Stories are supposed to be read in chunks, and I think of this blog as a story & also workspace for my thoughts that Id love to see which chapters everyone has read through. Also I love (and only respond positively to) positive feedback, yet also suggestions for ways to improve my "theorums". As in, good faith discussions are totally welcome on any post.

For my 50 year old parents reading my blog so lovingly in their limited evening time-- you can sort by tags to see what topics your familiar with, if you play around with the search function while on my page. Mom. Show dad how to do it

In the very, very bottom of my blog I dont even think I managed to tag shit properly-- but its the roughdraft workings of the philosophy, as well as my own logical framework for answering lifes questions. Its 2 months ago so I might not even be writing according to my own works down there anymore idk I change fast sometimes

Last thing for now here is that I was always criticized by teachers for not showing my work, and for not reviewing my tests before turning in, and I pushed back hard because nearly every time I went over and corrected a mistake-- I saw I most often got it right the first fucking time on a pure hunch. I act on impulse when I'm not meditating mostly for efficiency purposes because I believe I'm correct, but remain open to emotionally positive feedback so I can help remove all doubt.

-------

This might turn into my 'life story' post, as its already going there. Heres what I have so far in the way of my knowledge of my family before I was brought into existence, and my "earliest memories":

Family context:

I dont know jack shit. Nobody talks about it at all.

Here's my own observations Ive made using the framework and perceptive filters I was given--

My whole family is white Texans.

Ancestory is slaveowners of course, further back is a very likely direct parent-child descendent line from the most famous inbred british royalty of the 13th century i.e. King John, whose brother was the arab genociding Richard.

I would call my immediate family as upper poverty class. Its more like poverty with extra privileges cause mental health stigma was the only thing holding them back not other shit too.

As children we had a lot of very privileged opportunities because my parents made a lot of sacrifices to try and bring us back up the class ladder. Lets look into that generational trauma issue

My dads parents (born in the early 40s, dont know the year exactly. I think '43 or '44) were more upper middle class, pretty high income. Owned an insurance business that was very successful by the early 2000s at least. My grandpa is described to me as a "monster" and "violently abusive". I have a single memory of him screaming at me as a young child and I was cowering under a desk, so I really believe it. No other stories at all to provide context.

-- I gotta split this section off I realized I wrote the next thing about post-me context Ill need to move this part lower down later--

My grandpa got early onset dementia, my dad didnt notice in time, and my grandpa bankrupted his successful company and lost several million of dollars to "scammers and sexy ladies."

My dad found out around 2015-16 or so. He told me a little bit after telling me my grandparents were getting divorced. My dad managed to scrape together about $200,000 which is being sued for by the IRS actively.

(He split that money in two, and entrusted me tell him how to invest half in safe value stocks that I handpicked as well as a calculated risk allocation to bonds which we sold for 30% profit the second the market crashed. He gave the other half to a brokerage advisor. I never met the advisor but saw the results. Dont get me started on how the other dude did with that money-- we started this endeavor in January 2020.)

Personally I also dont believe that its possible to spend an entire fortune on scammers and strippers, so Id love to see his books and figure out what the hell went wrong with that asshole. I have a hunch I know something more than anyone else ("Enron", guys, we're talking about an insurance company in HOUSTON, in the 2000s) but I will never be sure without the books.

----

Back to other family--

I do not know a single thing about my grandma on my dads side. She raised me quite a lot, but yeah I literally have only heard her life described to me as "she was a housewife"

On my moms side, my Mimi (also born 1940s but slightly younger so I think 1946 or 1947) came from a divorced, upper middle class family. In 1964-65, She and her step mom both got knocked up the same year so she watched her divorced dad remarry to said step mom when she was 18-19 and getting a shotgun marriage herself, so you can imagine what that was like. The "biological" of the two moms was a very good mom and very queer from what I hear. She died when I was a baby, from lung cancer. Thats all I know. My mimi raised me quite a lot, nearly equally as much as my mom did

My mom's dad, my Papa, came from a rural farming family in East Texas. Dont know much else of anything, but he and his siblings were named "Billy, Bobby, and Betty". As in, they are what everyone likes to call "hicks"

--

Moving onto my direct parents now. I know a little more about them of course, but since we're getting closer in age to the present-- I think itll be easier to describe my understanding as common stereotypes. If its unclear what I mean definitely feel free to ask, but I'll probably say "I dont really know"

Not much else is relevant other than knowing that my moms family was the mormon one, but that as soon as my dad was love-bombed by the church he joined to. Mormons were also different in the 90s I'm told.

My dad struggled with being one of the "crazy schizos" of the 90s. As in, very traumatized, upset, and gaslit by the government and his parents. Must have done a damn good job dealing with it by the time he was in his late 20s and I popped out cause he was never a "bad dad" to me at all. Definitely yelled and was more angry at times, but less than any other friends parents Ive ever met, and from what I remember he came into my room at night and apologized to me literally every single time within like 5-10 minutes. I know pretty much nothing about him pre-me. He was a tradesman my whole life and specialized in remodeling kitchens & bathrooms (the 'dirty work of construction'). All his initial clientele were the rich people my grandma lived near and was friends with.

My mom would have been extremely queer-presenting and posting on tumblr if born in the year 2000, but was born in early 70s, and was a raegan teen in high-school in Texas during the satanic panic-- she presents completely cis, straight, but has body dysmorphia issues. Thats about you need to know about those issues I'm sure my tumblr folks can assume the rest and be perfectly correct. Cause thats about all I know too and I'm assuming the rest about my own mother

--- Earliest memories

I think a lot of people face doubt about their own earliest memories, maybe hearing the way I connect the images of these events in my head to my emotions I felt will help others do the same.

----

Two disclosers about me & my current healthcare discoveries before moving on

1) My only "major" childhood trauma is loneliness. I have a partner now (started dating early high school, nearing 10 years together now) who was just as lonely and we are glued to each others side constantly, and have made our life work great that way. So don't feel too bad reading this, I'm only able to write it down because Ive healed that trauma and can dig this stuff up with no issues to validate the emotions I felt even as a child

1) I believe I have a genetic trait that is only just getting discovered. There are something like 6 discovered mutations that hold this similar trait so far, and its just basically chronic insomia.

It being a genetic trait tracks with how my mom describes me as never settling into a normal sleep pattern at 6 months old, having absurd amounts of nightmares and death anxiety keeping me up at night as a child, and I still dont sleep at any given time. I average 2 hours less sleep than my husband, who averages 7-8 now that he isnt actively being abused at home.

Going to get sequenced but even if negative I'd probably just be a 7th mutation, as they only found the other 6 genes via case study.

The scientists whove discovered it call it "Familial Natural Short Sleeper", if you desire to look it up. They describe the trait like its the best possible thing in the world. Well... terminally chronic insomia is not the best thing in THIS world thats for sure.

---------

My "earliest memories"

These arent ranked by time accurately of course. Took enough effort digging through my brain to turn them up, not like Ive got a 2003 calendar stuffed in here as well.

I did do my best to sort by first memory but it also might be sorted by the order at which I recovered the memories as being one of my "earliest" when I was a child and asked such things

1. Pure emptiness. I can only describe it as dissociation. I can remember nothing about the environment around me, except feeling suddenly sucked out of it, seeing only darkness, feeling almost a ringing in my ears and the deepest dread possible. This same feeling followed me in life for a little while, but started to take more visual shape when I was an adolescent, until at some point I would see myself sitting in a chair alone in a room that is infinitely sized but that slowly gets darker the further out you go. I cant remember what exact "real-world" event caused this feeling to ever happen each time it did. I just can remember having it happen occasionally when I was awake and doing things. Definitely dissociation. (If you are willing to believe me further I think its just probably "lights out" and being scared of that)

1. Riding a mattress down the stairs. I kind of remember two images, one is the tunnel vision of going high speed down the stairs and the other would be from looking back up at the stairs when I was done going down. Totally fun, probably my first rollar coaster ride. I might remember my siblings laughing too but it wouldnt be because I can remember the actual laughing-- but I can remember feeling the joy of being in a group of people laughing. At the time, my parents were selling the house so thats why I also remember it being a completely empty carpeted room that we were riding down into

2. My brother smashing his head repeatedly into the refrigerator for 'fun' and someone saying "wow he has a hard head" or something along those lines. I was learning english I cant remember exactly what they said but that was definitely the meaning I took from their words. I think this memory is strong, because I was truly very curious as to why my brother was just running at full speed, head down, and headbutting a hard surface. The words someone said after that must have been one of my first 'answers'

3. Watching my siblings play in rare Houston snow. Not much remembering there actually. Probably just thought it was mezmorizing to watch as I just really remember a picture and feeling peace

4. Will add more later.

[csprslvt]

you and i, and her. pt.7

Chapter 6

Summary: Reader and Ellie bond, and reader meets up with Abby. Betrayal ensues

WARNINGS: Mentions of death, violence. Reader and Ellies dynamic is painfully awkward, shorter chapter. Ellie is def in love but doesn't know it, reader is weak for Abby and her words, Betrayal. A very short chapter I am so sorry! Longer chapter seven will be coming up to make up for it! Abby has comp het. Homophobia, the D slur, foul language

How exactly did she get here? Abby thought as Owen was kissing her, eyes wide open unmoving under his touch

It didn't feel right, none of it felt right, not unless it was y/n. His hands weren't gentle or soft like yours, they didn't know her body the way you did. They were not welcome.

Yet she stayed, why exactly she was unsure. Maybe she was just pathetic trying to move on from someone she had assumed died.

She should've looked for you, tried harder, done everything in her power to get to you. She missed you so much.

Owen pulled away, noticing her lack of interest in the kiss.

“What's wrong”

“Owen we can't keep doing this”

“What? Why?”

Now Abby was a blunt person so she did not hesitate to say.

“I don't love you”

“You don't have too we are just having fun”

“Well it's not fun anymore”

Owen looks at Abby with an annoyed expression

“Is this about your dyke ex?”

“The fuck did you just call her?”

“So it is about that bitch”

“Dont you fucking say that. you don't know her”

“I never got along with her, I don't understand how you were with her. She was a total cunt to me”

“Maybe you deserved it”

Owen rolls his eyes, Abby turns away, frustrated. Sure, Owen became an asshole when she left him for y/n but he would've never called y/n names like that if she was still with Abby.

“You're still in love with her.”

Abby met Owen's eyes, the look she gave him was enough of an answer.

Owen put his head in his hands, groaning.

“This was a mistake.” 

Owen gave her an empty stare, she turned facing away from him and he walked away.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ellie and y/n didn't make it very far on the horse, Shimmer started to grow tired and needed rest as well as food and water. This was a blessing in disguise as going too far would make it difficult to meet up with Abby again. 

However, this was the one time in your life where the greatest emotion you experienced was ambivalence. You loved Abby, but she was so willing to sleep with her ex when you went missing. You could see by the way she reacted by the sight of you, that she loved you too, Owen was likely a distraction, but you knew the power you had over her. In your time together she had been emotionally closed off to basically anyone else but alone it was always

“y/n I missed you”

“y/n I got this for you, I hope you like it, it reminded me of you!”

“y/n don't you ever leave me, I love you”

You'd appear in a room and she was instantly weak in the knees, and you knew that. Anything you wanted or needed she would provide without you having to ask. She was your lover but she was also your best friend and the moments you had with her were your most cherished memories. So it made literally no sense, how could she have been with Owen? She never alluded to having any attraction to him after they had broken up. And so, you equated it to being absolute, unescapable desperation. 

She must've been desperate to have gotten with someone else.

At the same time, you questioned your sanity, did Abby have the right to move on since youd been missing for so long?

Hmmmm no, definitely not 

That is what the toxic part of you thought. She wasn't allowed to love someone else. And if she did, she would always be reminded of you as the best girl she's ever had. She certainly treated you like you were. You'd always treated her like she’d crafted the moon, the stars, the night sky just for you. 

“If she wanted to she would”  was always your mindset, the adoration always went both ways, The relationship you had was beautiful. But was it time to let it go? To mourn it?

“y/n? You okay? You seem kind of lost in thought” Ellie questioned from her place on the floor beside a resting Shimmer. 

“Yea I kinda am lost in thought”

Ellie adjusted herself so she was across from you, knees brushing against each other. Her expression was open as if to say “Talk to me, I’ll listen” 

“I'm having a hard time feeling… like I need to let some things go”

Ellie gave an awkward smile, “Oh I kind of hold onto grudges so I'm not the best with that but if you wanna talk I'll listen!”

“I just need to move on from the past, I guess. It's just difficult” You mumbled, fiddling with your necklace.

Ellie nods urging you to continue

“I really miss how my life used to be.” 

“Oh, I see” Ellie says, “What about it do you miss?”

“I miss the people, I miss the comfort of having a place of feeling like I belonged”

Ellie considers this for a moment before looking at you with the most genuine loving expression youd ever gotten from her

“You do belong, you belong with me.”

You flushed, did Ellie even realize the connotations of what she was saying? At your embarrassment she also turned bright red.

“Oh! Uhmm I meant like… you always have…., uhhhhh. Fuck” Ellie hides her face in her hands clearly humiliated by her own words,

An awkward silence.

“You always have a safe place with me, is what I meant”

Nice save Ellie!

“Thanks Els, that actually does make me feel better”’

“Good! I'm glad”

That night you didnt leave until you were sure Ellie was in a deep slumber, you then snuck off.

Abby waited inside the tower,heart pounding and sweating. Nervous as ever. She’d kicked everyone out, only wanting to be alone with you.

When you made it up she snapped all her attention to you, a gas lamp lighting up the room.

“You came”

“Yea, kind of had too” You sat down next to her on her sleeping bag.

She watched you, every breath you took, every movement you gave and every part of you could see with the dim lighting of the lamp she took in.

“I missed you”

You didn't say anything, she tried again to start a conversation

“Where were you?”

“I've been staying in a town named Jackson. With a friend”

“Oh”

“Yea” The air was tense.

“Why… Why didn't you look for me? I would’ve looked for you, fuck, I was looking for you”

“I tried but Owen was pissy and-”

“Oh don't give me that bullshit, if you loved me you wouldn't have let anyone stop you”

That one hit deep, Abby loved you, she adored you, she needed you and she felt horrible for not looking hard enough, for trying to replace you with Owen when he could never amount to you.

“I didn't know if you were alive, and if you weren't, I couldn't handle the thought of finding you lifeless or worse.”

“You were scared”

“Terrified… y/n I cant, I can't handle losing you again” She spoke with a shake in her tone matching the trembling of her hands.

“I tried being with Owen to move on but I can't, I love you, I never stopped loving you”

Abby was looking at you now, searching for a reaction

“I just wanted to forget how much I missed you but I couldn't, not when nothing felt right or natural the way It did with you. Every time he touched me It wasn't the same, and it could never be the same because you are the only one I've ever wanted, ever needed, ever yearned for. And I'm sorry I didn't look harder, I should've crossed any limit to find you. I regret it more than anything. I just want my girl back by my side again” 

Finally you broke, tears of last night clouding your vision, Abby pulled you into her seeing your face drop and you allowed yourself to lean on her.

“So you don't love him?”

“I could never love him the way I've loved you all these years, and a few months a part could never change how deeply I feel for you”

“ I love you too, I missed you so much Abby '' Sobs wracked through your body, and she held you tighter than ever as if you'd disappear if she let go. 

“I really hope you can forgive me, I will spend the rest of my days trying to make it up to you y/n”

“Abby you can't go back home”

“What?” Abby turned to you with a lost expression, wondering about the sudden change in conversation.

“You can't go back to seattle.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The man you killed, Joel, there was a girl there she watched it happen right? The guy who killed your father”

“Yes but what about it?”

“She is going to kill you.”

Notes: So sorry about the short chapter. I update daily and a better one should be out soon! Thanks for reading <333333.

[soft-jihoonie]

#Whipped - Chapter One

TaoTao: Does anyone wanna help me with this essay i’m stuck on?

Read by 11 people

TaoTao: Y’all can go suck a dick

Jongdae’s hoe: gladly

-----

Chanyeol is obvious, Kyungsoo is oblivious and no one says no to Yixing.

Chanyeol x Kyungsoo | Jongdae x Baekhyun | Sehun x Jongin | Minseok x Luhan | Yixing x Tao | Kris x Junmyeon - chatroom style fic - 1.3k words

Disclaimer: this fic was started prior to Yifan’s arrest and I do not support him in any way. Any further chapters including him merely write him as a character for continuity

The members chat names are:

TaoTao: Tao

Dog lord: Kai/Jongin

No.1 Vivi supporter: Sehun

Lu: Luhan

Kyungsoo: D.O/Kyungsoo

Kris: Kris/Yifan

Myeonie: Suho/Junmyeon

XingXing: Lay/Yixing

Jongdae's hoe: Baekhyun

Baekhyun's hoe: Chen/Jongdae

Yeol: Chanyeol

Hot dad: Xiumin/Minseok

Chatroom: Fuck This

TaoTao: Do you guys ever think about how many toes there are in the world?

Kyungsoo: I hate this chat and everyone in it.

Lu: ^

Hot dad: ^^

Yeol: but not me right soo?

Kyungsoo: Especially you.

Jongdae’s hoe: and that kids is the sound of all of Chanyeol’s hope dying

Yeol: soos just joking!! i know that

Kyungsoo: Do you guys ever think about how much quieter life would be without Chanyeol around?

Yeol: but i love you soooooo

Kyungsoo: That’s nice.

No.1 Vivi supporter: Why did no one tell me savage Kyungsoo hyung was out?? You hoes would really let me miss that??

Myeonie: Sehun! Language!

No.1 Vivi supporter: But hyung you know you’re my favourite hoe?

Myeonie: Awhh Sehun

Baekhyun’s hoe: and here comes Jongin in 3

Jongdae’s hoe: 2

Baekhyun’s hoe: 1

Dog lord: Sehunnie I thought I was your favourite hoe?

Hot dad: I can’t believe that works every time

No.1 Vivi supporter: I -

No.1 Vivi supporter: Shit u right, sorry not sorry Junmyeon hyung

Dog Lord: ^-^

Yeol: #whipped

Kris: you can hardly talk Chanyeol

Kris: and babe you’re my favourite hoe

Myeonie: I would hope so if you want to get any tonight

TaoTao: I would like to delete that image from my brain

Lu: But then your brain would be empty

TaoTao: @Hot dad Your boyfriend is being mean

Hot dad: Last I checked, there’s nothing mean about telling the truth

TaoTao: Xiiiinnnnggg

XingXing: Come on guys, leave poor TaoTao alone

TaoTao: Luv u XingXing

No.1 Vivi supporter: Suck up

XingXing: What was that Sehun?

No.1 Vivi supporter: Nothing Yixing hyung!! I was just saying how hot you looked today

XingXing: Thank you Sehunnie ^-^

Dog lord: “Sehunnie” ??????

Lu: Uh oh

Dog lord: “S e h u n n i e” ?????

Myeonie: Okay kids, don’t you think it’s about time you get on with uni work?

Kris: you know they’re not actually our kids, right?

Myeonie: W u Y i f a n

Kris: okay kids, listen to your mother

Yeol: #whipped

Kyungsoo: Shut up Chanyeol.

Yeol: anything for u soo

Jongdae’s hoe: i’m gonna puke

Baekhyun’s hoe: don’t worry babe, i’ll hold your hair

No.1 Vivi supporter: Do you think chanyeol realises how obvious he is?

Kyungsoo: Obvious about what?

Dog lord: .....

Jongdae’s hoe: .......

Baekhyun’s hoe: .........

No.1 Vivi supporter: I give up

TaoTao: Does anyone wanna help me with this essay i’m stuck on?

Read by 11 people

TaoTao: Y’all can go suck a dick

Jongdae’s hoe: gladly

Chatroom: Fuck This

Yeol: @Kyungsoo can u come to the studio to record vocals?

Kyungsoo: Why?

Yeol: youd sound so good on the song we are writing

Kyungsoo: You think I have the time for that?

XingXing: Come on Kyungsoo, your voice is perfect for this song!!

Kyungsoo: Alright then, i’ll be there in 10 minutes hyung.

XingXing: Yay!!

No.1 Vivi supporter: @Yeol Ouch you okay hyung?

Yeol: never been better hahahaha

Yeol: hahaha

Yeol: ha

Yeol: i have to get back to the studio bye guys

Lu: Great, you broke Chanyeol

Chatroom: The Hoes™

Yeol: hahahaha dont you love being rejected by ur crush

Baekhyun’s hoe: oh boy, here we go

Jongdae’s hoe: dude he’s still coming to the studio

Yeol: BUT HE NEVER DOES THINGS WHEN I ASK!!!!!

Baekhyun’s hoe: okay but no one says no to Yixing hyung

Jongdae’s hoe: yeh it’s the rules

Yeol: maybe ur right i mean he wouldve said no too if jongdae was the one asking

Baekhyun’s hoe: I am offended

Jongdae’s hoe: woah babe, a capital “I”? calm down

Baekhyun’s hoe: i’m chill i’m chill

Yeol: asdfghjkfhfsfnlkjgoerhgerlrgndkfsm

Jongdae’s hoe: you okay there hoe no.3?

Yeol: whydoeshehavesuchaperfectsingingvoiceplsENDME

Baekhyun’s hoe: you need me to come to the studio for moral support?

Yeol: p l e a s e

Baekhyun’s hoe: i’ll be there in 5 mins

Yeol: jongdae ur my best friend ily

Jongdae’s hoe: uhm bitch i’m right here

Yeol: srry dae ur my best friend after baek

Jongdae’s hoe: too late bitch go choke on Kyungsoo’s dick

Yeol: dtfyguhijonfwpmdksuwuohgfiejhfuck

Baekhyun’s hoe: do i need to call an ambulance?

Yeol: i choked on my drink bc of baeks text and soo started patting my back HE TOUCHED ME GUYS

Jongdae’s hoe: why am i friends with you

Baekhyun’s hoe: i’m at the studio, Chanyeol looks like he’s dying and Yixing hyung is v concerned

Jongdae’s hoe: don’t care let the hoe suffer

Baekhyun’s hoe: this is why i’m the nice friend Baek

Jongdae’s hoe: it’s more fun being a bitch Dae

Yeol: j o n g d a e

Baekhyun’s hoe: gotta go, the hoe is struggling

Jongdae’s hoe: Jongdae: i’m the nice friend

Jongdae’s hoe: Jongdae 2 secs later: calls Chanyeol “the hoe”

Chatroom: Fuck This

Hot dad: Why do Monday’s drag so much? Work seemed to last forever today

XingXing: Tell me about it, Yeol and I spent hours in the studio today

XingXing: It’s 8pm and I only just got home

No.1 Vivi supporter: Yeah Chanyeol hyung only got home 10 minutes ago and went straight to his room

Lu: Speaking of, Chanyeol hasn’t said anything here since Kyungsoo rejected him

Kyungsoo: I didn’t reject him, I still went to the studio.

Lu: Because Yixing asked

Kyungsoo: You don’t say no to Yixing hyung.

Jongdae’s hoe: it’s the rules

Baekhyun’s hoe: where did these rules come from?

Hot dad: Junmyeon probably

Lu: Junmyeon

Kris: Myeonie

TaoTao: Probably our literal mum Junmyeon hyung

Myeonie: YES OKAY WE GET IT

Kyungsoo: Luhan hyung is right though, Chanyeol’s never this quiet.

Jongdae’s hoe: .......

Baekhyun’s hoe: ...........

Yeol: @No.1 Vivi supporter pls come to my room

Kris: is anyone surprised anymore that Chanyeol shows up as soon as Kyungsoo mentions him?

Yeol: oh hey soo didnt notice you there

TaoTao: I call bullshit

Kyungsoo: What do you mean Tao?

TaoTao: I.....

TaoTao: @Yeol What do you need Sehun for?

No.1 Vivi supporter: Yeah we literally live in the same house, come to my room hyung

Dog lord: is that a good idea?

Yeol: what if i cant leave my room and you clearly have headphones in so i have to message you here

No.1 Vivi supporter: .... You got stuck under your bed again didn’t you?

Yeol: maybe...

Myeonie: Again? This has happened before?

No.1 Vivi supporter: Sigh i’m coming now hyung

Baekhyun’s hoe: Sehun is done on a whole new level

Yeol: ur the best dongsaeng!!!

Kyungsoo: Idiot.

Yeol: soooooo dont be mean

Yeol: comfort me in these hard times

Kyungsoo: Oh, would you look at the time, I have to go.

TaoTao: Every day I lose more and more faith in Chansoo being real

Kris: ^

Lu: ^^

Dog lord: ^^^

Jongdae’s hoe: sorry Chanyeol but ^^^^

Chatroom: Hot dad + Kyungsoo

Kyungsoo: HE GOT STUCK UNDER THE BED.

Kyungsoo: AGAIN.

Kyungsoo: WHAT A DORK.

Kyungsoo: I WANT TO PROTECT HIM.

Hot dad: Y’know, instead of just yelling to me every time he does something you apparently find cute, you could just be nice and stop pretending you can’t stand him?

Kyungsoo: Sounds like hard work.

Hot dad: Lord knows I need at least a bottle of wine to deal with this...

Hot dad: Okay but y’know maybe he’d realise your feelings then?

Kyungsoo: That’s exactly why I act the way I do hyung

Hot dad: But Kyungsoo if he knows your feeling then you could maybe idk, act like normal people and date?

Kyungsoo: But Chanyeol doesn’t have feelings for me?

Hot dad: Breathe Minseok breathe

Kyungsoo: ?

Hot dad: Sigh whatever go back to telling me about your dork

Kyungsoo: Well considering you asked.

Kyungsoo: HE’S SO CUTE. HE’S SO TALL BUT HE ACTS SO SMOL THAT HE PROBABLY FORGETS HOW TALL HE IS SOMETIMES.

Kyungsoo: HOW MANY TIMES HAS HE GOTTEN STUCK UNDER HIS BED? THAT’S ADORABLE, HE’S ADORABLE.

Chatroom: The Gays

Hot dad: Babe I need like a bottle of wine right now

Hot dad: Oh god he’s gushing about Chanyeol’s ears now

Hot dad: Make it two bottles

Lu: Babe it’s Monday night, you have work tomorrow

Hot dad: Did I fucking stutter?

Lu: I’m about to head home, i’ll pick some up on the way

Hot dad: I love you

Lu: I love you too baby

Hot dad: Buy me the good wine and i’ll suck your dick later

Lu: 2BOTTLESOFGOODWINECOMINGUP

Divider is from this post

[sterlingarcher]

I love seeing your posts about like bandom history and just discussion and reflection from a more mature adult's angle, it's really relatable to me at 29. And while I have not involved in bandom before late 2015, I have studied a lot myself, and Panic! and Brendon were my first faves and still high up there. It really disappoints me how brutal antis are as I have figured them out to a T, treating minor errors as hate-crimes from Brendon but not anyone else. Are we not all human?

i havent checked my messages in so long so im not 100% certain when this was sent but this was a really nice thing to stumble upon today 😭😭😭 it makes me feel good to know that there are people out there who can sort of ~smell what im stepping in~ so to speak and that when i talk about this stuff its not always falling on deaf ears. ive always rejected the term “anti” because it feels so immature to say, but honestly what other word is there to even describe most of these people? haters? bullies? assholes? they dont have any actual critical thought behind why they came to hate brendon, they just know it became the cool and popular thing to hate him and “blame him” for shit and they couldnt bear the thought of not following the crowd and fitting in. youd be hard pressed to find me anyone whos life has been documented and scrutinized for as long as and as harshly as brendons since they were a teenager who HASNT stumbled or fucked up or put their foot in their mouth at some point. its wildly hypocritical because these people act very pure and righteous, and like theyve never done or said anything wrong or questionable or problematic in their lives which is just…. quite literally patently untrue for every person on earth. to assert moral and ethical superiority over a person like brendon is to be horrendously disingenuous, and it grossly highlights the efficacy of social media fandom war smear campaigns, lack of proper journalism, and the terrifying degeneration of peoples ability to engage in critical thought and perform unbiased fact-based research. these people act like brendon singlehandedly committed genocide or some shit, and honestly i find these people spend far more time thinking and talking about him than we as fans do. like he quite literally lives in these peoples heads rent free, and these are the same people who call us pathetic for still enjoying him and his music after all these years and not dropping off and following the crowd of sheeple like they did. like these people have the nerve to behave like 13 year old lunch-room bullies and then turn around and call people cringe and pathetic for *checks notes* … enjoying someone and their art and music. like honey the call is coming from inside the house. they love to use the classics like “jeez its just a joke” or “its not that deep…” when the reality is that if it was truly not that deep they wouldnt spend so much time obsessing over him and talking about him more than his fucking fans do. they quite literally troll his and panics tags and quote retweet and reblog almost everything they see with a shitty snide remark that they truly think is soooo clever and original (🙄) like its their fucking 6 figure paid career path. they constantly poke the bear, go swinging at a hornets nest with lead pipes, and then they get confused and pissed when they get bit and stung. like literally dude what did you expect? you come into a space specifically to cause trouble and piss people off and then act like the victim when you actually accomplish that??? call people cringe and fail and annoying and strange when they get emotional over something they clearly care deeply about??? as though if the tables werent turned these people wouldnt immediately start screaming crying throwing up and playing the victim. honestly though at the very end of the day i truly believe these proudly self-proclaimed “haters” are more miserable than ill ever be no matter how bad my life circumstances get. because ultimately i only spend a few hours, maybe a day or two at most being pissed that these bullies and mean-girls exist and love to invade our spaces for shits and giggles. but they apparently spend entire days, weeks, months… YEARS of their lives being bitter and vile and mean for the sake of maybe 10 likes on twitter and 5 minutes of internet validation. what a sad fucking existence. i prefer to be someone who enjoys things and engages with and consumes things that make me happy and joyful thank you :) anyway sorry for the ramble! if you read all of it i appreciate and love you for it!! 💕

[dsi-os]

to the anon

a genuine response and message for you.

look anon, im sorry for your harsh situation. but also i dont think you even bothered to read my post. i do not hoard the money i work for and the money thats donated. it goes to my survival. and i literally do work to make enough for me to leave my bad housing and start over. once again. i dont specifically ask for it. im not forcing anyone to donate. its fully optional. would you rag on any creator on patreon for asking for donations? would you rag on anyone who is trying to escape a bad housing for asking for donations? id hope you dont. honestly anon, you should ask for donations too. there are people. strangers. who care about you. who want to help you. kindergarten teaches everything about helping eachother. you shouldnt see donations as a horrible thing. theres no shame in asking for help. please anon. what youre going through seems horrible, but thats no excuse for treating me like this and assuming every wrong thing about me. anon. get help. i dont mean that in a bad way. please, genuinely. find people who can help you. at first you made me angry, and while i'm still upset, im actually worried. you have a point, i do have a "safer" situation. but this isnt a homelessness competition.

anon please. go get help. /srs. youre not safe where you are. theres no shame in letting others help. and you can always pay them back if youd like to. i plan on doing the same once i have a safe place and stable income. im not going to be showing your ask publicly, once again, but im not trying to "hide the truth" or whatever. that was for your own safety and privacy. you shared information that you probably shouldnt be sharing to someone random just because you dont like them. but really. please open your donations. hell. once i can get money, even i'd donate. you've made me upset, but you need help. genuinely. im worried for you dude. sorry for blocking you and all that, and if you open your donations, after i donate i might just block you again because. i understand your bad situation but youre really an asshole about it. (considering in the last ask you sent, you compared me to the terf begging for money because she lost her food stamps, meanwhile im a whole ass trans person who is just simply asking for optional donations because im not in a safe place and it makes it easier for me to get a place .) also. to clear things up: -i said id buy a house because theres no rentable houses, apartments, or shelters. i cant even find roommate listings that i could go to yet. im trying to make it so we DONT need to be on the streets again. idk if maybe i worded it wrong? because i said "buy, if not rent" as in "if i cant find something to rent, i'll need to buy it" . so im sorry if it goes the other way around, as "rent, if not buy" ?? i really thought i worrded that right -i AM using the money to get out of the house . but i also need to survive . so . yknow. im not sure what youd expect. every shelter where i live is fucking expensive if that tells you anything. -yeah. my parents are working and so am i. are we making ANYWHERE NEAR ENOUGH? no. we arent. do you know jobs that actually pay enough to let you get shelter?? id love to hear. /srs -i barely have an income. ive gotten more money with the few donations ive ever gotten than ive EVER made with my commissions. my commissions do not bring in a reliable income. i can not survive off of them. -my donation post didnt become a meme. i linked my donation post ON a meme i made, because it was getting traction. in the same vain as when people promote their art stuff under hit posts. except my stuff is optional. -the truth of your ask was literally saying "shame on me" for asking for donations. you literally said this: (im only showing this one because you requested me to. and again, how much was incorrect, for context.)

you literally told me the equivalent of "you need help to survive? go fuck yourself" instead of saying anything helpful. AND more than HALF of the assumptions was wrong, as i showed you before. -people DO care if it doesnt belong to me. im constantly under threat about it. if they didnt care then i'd call this home. but its not my home. i dont belong here. its a house i barely have permission to stay at. -id never ask people who cant donate to EVER donate to me. its optional. im not forcing anyone to. everyone who does donate is because theyre nice people. even if they dont know me, they want to help. -i was talking about buying a house because theres nothing else we can do to be safe. theres no shelters. no roommate things. no apartments we can AFFORD. the only thing we found we might be able to afford as a shelter was an old trailer house! big surprise really. for you AND us. thats why thats our newest and safest plan and option. were working towards that. honestly we were hoping we can end the donation thing soon, so youre literally upset when were finally near the end of this. -lastly. this? -v

can be easily disproven with -v

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GoFundMe - i may not have my gofundme anymore because i lack the correct phone, but my point stands. life is hard for everyone, and they DO ask for money. they reach out for help. i am legally homeless. and poor. i am housed, but not under proper law. my aunt mistreats me and my parents. my focus is on my safety and leaving this place. all my money has to be constantly used to buy food. most of it not even ever going to me, and its never even enough to feed my family properly. none of this is a joke. anon. please. get help. /srs please open your donations. please ask for help from people you know and trust. itll only get worse if you dont. i only ask for help because me and my family arent able to make enough to get out by ourselves. youll find so many like us on gofundme and similar things. i am not doing this out of greed. im doing this out of necessity. trust me. it doesnt feel good having to rely on strangers and their kindness. but i physically cant do anything else yet. please keep yourself and the people you trust safe dude. i dont care if you hate me, or if you made me angry. please. ask for help. youre not safe. im not just saying this out of a "told you so". im saying this because you need help. youre not alone. the internet is much kinder than you think, as long as you dont attack first. /gen

again. i dont care if you hate me. i dont care if youre upset at me. i dont care if my existence and failure to find work and survive makes you so angry alone. i want you to ask for help. unfortunately not here, because... i cant help you with my situation. but anywhere else. trust me. youll be okay. asking for donations isnt as bad as you make it out to be. genuinely. please be safe, please ask for help, please take care of yourself. maybe in the future i can help you too. we'll see. for now, i will not be responding or showing any more asks you send me. for the fact that youre extremely rude, and you keep sharing information that again, you shouldnt share to a random stranger. i wish you luck. somewhere. not here. please leave me alone, until you learn how to behave and treat people. please be safe out there. good luck. /gen goodbye. tl;dr: i know you hate me for the fact i cannot do the same things as you, and so i ask for help. but i want you to ask for help too. you need it. genuinely. please be safe. take care of yourself. i wish you luck.

[dontpunchdogs]

thoughts for today ! under a read more bcos it got long. yelling into the void.

ive always been hard to deal with - too sensitive to sounds, lights, temperature, texture, easily hurt by words, easily overwhelmed by other people, easily feeling left out among friends, too annoying, too loud but too quiet, needing too much reassurance, needing to feel wanted, needing needing needing. ive known this a long time. ive heard it from my parents countless times, had friends say they only hung around me out of pity, had partners say i was the most supportive partner theyd ever had; yet i need too much, my feelings are too confusing or too hard to consider, "i knew youd be upset but i didnt want to tell you and make you more upset" again and again and again.

no matter how small i tried to be, how light of a burden i made myself, its really never enough. i dont get what i need, my patience is worn thinner and thinner, and "suddenly" i snap. "suddenly" i disappear. as though there werent signs. as though i hadnt been begging for someone to care. as though i havent put others feelings and comfort above my own for years, been intentional, been thoughtful, been honest (in fairness, honest about everything besides the extent to which id been hurt) and made it clear how i love and how i want my efforts to be reciprocated.

i'm tired of it. i always thought i shouldnt live if nobody cared about me enough to pick me first. thats all ive ever wanted, really. someone to walk in a room full of people they care for and choose me out of everyone. someone who id choose over anything, even my own comfort when reasonable, and to know they'd do the same. just one person, and then i can handle everyone else letting me down, just one person, please, just one, one person, please, for once, just once.

i always find myself so fucking disappointed. maybe my standards are too high - the fact no one can meet me there makes me sad, but the idea of lowering my standards made me sadder. i can take disappointment, a lot of it, and i don't expect perfection. sometimes you cant give even 50% of your energy. sometimes you need to pick someone else. sometimes you need to pick a friend over a partner, or yourself over anyone else. but i cant handle the degree to which people constantly ignore my needs, or disregard them to indulge their wants.

im trying to rewire my brain now! im going to live, whether someone picks me or not. im going to care for others as much as i can, as hard as i can, but im going to limit those who disturb my peace. im going to put myself first, often as i can, or at least as often as id put others. i know what i need, and id do it for someone else - why not do it for me? why continue trying for people who cant be assed? why continue trying when im just difficult and draining?

today i had an overstimulating day at work. i still went to the grocery store, as id planned, because i needed to. when i drove home, i felt like id have a meltdown. instead i made myself laugh by seeing just how many bags i could carry at once. something stupid and simple, but i felt like i was good company. i put everything away. i made my lunch for tomorrow. i tried a new tea that i picked out and actually finally found one i liked. i ran a hot bubble bath. i washed my hair, my back, my body as though i was someone i loved. and i felt loved.

it was really nice. im holding onto that joy.

ive realized just how much pain other people tend to put me through. why, then, should i hinge my right to my life on my relationship with others?

im going to live. fuck anything else. fuck everybody whos ever made me feel like a fucking burden. if its soooo hard dealing with me, imagine fucking being me. i deserve so much better.

[bewitchingfanfiction]

Homestuck Fic (2020/01/15)

KARKAT: DAVE? 

DAVE: sup

KARKAT: ARE YOU EVER SCARED OF LOSING ME?

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: NOT LIKE ME DYING, LET'S NOT GO DOWN THAT ROAD OF CONVERSATION BECAUSE FUCK NO. I MEAN LIKE,

KARKAT: DO YOU EVER GET JEALOUS?

DAVE: jealous of what

KARKAT: LIKE HOW I GO OVER TO WATCH SHITTY MOVIES WITH JOHN SOMETIMES CAUSE HE THINKS THEY'RE GOOD EVEN THOUGH HE'S FUCKING WRONG.

KARKAT: DOES IT BOTHER YOU THAT I DO THAT?

DAVE: are you actually saying these words

DAVE: are you really asking me something like this

KARKAT: YES I'M FUCKING ASKING YOU THIS. OR LIKE WHEN I TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH I MISS SOLLUX, DOES THAT BOTHER YOU?

DAVE: dude where did this even come from

DAVE: here we are on the couch trying to get our cuddle on while watching some shitty film and you just drop this bomb on me

DAVE: i thought this was a bomb free zone dude

KARKAT: FIRST OF ALL THE NOTEBOOK IS NOT A SHITTY FILM, FUCKASS. AND SECOND I WAS JUST FUCKING WONDERING. IT'S A YES OR NOT QUESTION. 

DAVE: just kinda a weird thing to wonder about

DAVE: am i suppose to be worried

DAVE: are you trying to tell me something?

KARKAT: NO. FUCK NO. I'M NOT CHEATING ON YOU OR ANYTHING.

KARKAT: IT JUST FEELS LIKE YOU DON'T REALLY...

KARKAT: GIVE A SHIT WHO I'M AROUND?

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: YOU NEVER CARE WHERE I'M GOING OR HOW LONG I'LL BE GONE. YOU DON'T EVEN SEND ME A TEXT WHEN I'M OUT FOR A LONG TIME.

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: UGH WHATEVER NEVER FUCKING MIND. DAVE 'I DON'T GIVE A FUCK' STRIDER IS CLEARLY WHO I'M TALKING TO RIGHT NOW SO I'M JUST GONNA SHUT THE FUCK UP AND PRETEND WE NEVER STARTED TALKING ABOUT THIS.

DAVE: what no

DAVE: i care

KARKAT: TELL YOUR FUCKING FACE.

DAVE: dude

DAVE: harsh

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: dont give me that look

DAVE: of course i care

KARKAT: SO YOU DO GET JEALOUS?

DAVE: what

DAVE: of egderp?

DAVE: fuck no

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: did you ever take a second and think that maybe the reason i dont give a shit who your with is because the people youre with our my friends?

DAVE: like none of them are even a fucking threat

DAVE: except jade

KARKAT: !

DAVE: shit

KARKAT: AHA! SO YOU ARE JEALOUS!

DAVE: no thats not what i said

DAVE: but youd be an idiot to not see that she clearly fucking likes you

DAVE: and me

DAVE: but that doesnt mean im jealous shes not gonna try and steal you or some shit thats not who jade is

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: does it bother me when you guys hang out alone watching movies? sure i guess i think anyone would be bothered by that but that doesnt mean jealousy thats a completely different emotion that striders dont feel because were secure

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: fuck you im completely secure

KARKAT: SURE YOU ARE DAVE.

DAVE: look my point is that im not jealous you know why?

KARKAT: WHY DAVE? ENLIGHTEN ME.

DAVE: cause im still the only one allowed to do this

KARKAT: !

Taking Karkat by surprise, Dave grabbed both his arms and pushed him down to lay on the couch. Dave straddled his lap and stared down at him with a flirtatious grin.

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: that was really fucking embarrassing why did i even do that 

DAVE: jesus im never pulling a move like that again that was cringy as hell

DAVE: like what the fuck this isnt one of your shitty romcoms or something

DAVE: god what is wrong with me ive been watching too many movies

KARKAT: DAVE?

DAVE: yeah

KARKAT: Y...YOU'RE STILL ON TOP OF ME...

DAVE: oh

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: ...sorry

KARKAT: I MEAN ITS FINE. I DON'T DISLIKE IT OR ANYTHING. IT'S JUST SORT OF...UM...

DAVE: dude your face is so fucking red

DAVE: its kinda adorable

KARKAT: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET OFF ME.

DAVE: k

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: ... 

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: YOU KNOW...I UH, GET KINDA JEALOUS WHEN JADE'S ALL OVER YOU TOO.

DAVE: ...really?

KARKAT: IT'S FUCKING ANNOYING. I KNOW SHE DOESN'T MEAN ANY HARM BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT'S KINDA LIKE 'FUCK YOU HE'S MINE NOW' YOU KNOW?

DAVE: heh i actually do 

DAVE: :)

KARKAT: HEH.

KARKAT: (:B

[obsessive-ego]

Just come on in, dont even knock

Y/n walks in on beej jerking off

Nsft

Musical beetlejuice x reader

Just a small thing I've been thinking about forever

...

"Its been awhile hasnt it~" the demon purred to himself, here the born dead bastard was laying on your bed, half naked, pants and boxers thrown aside, jacket shoved off, tie loosened, looking like a mess and practically glowing pink.

Beetlejuice has taken the opportunity of you slipping out to do boring living people things, to tend to his own personal needs.

In his hand was a freshly worn pair of black silk panties, the crotch of the garment was pressed oh so gently to the demon's nose, he growls with the intake of your scent.

"I bet you taste as good as you smell babes~"

His striped tongue gives an experimental lick, which he was pleasantly surprised by the result.

In the ghoul's other hand was his painfully hard cock, already leaking with precum, you drove the ghoul absolutely wild, hes been dying all day for an opportunity to 'fix' the little problem you stuck him with, how dare you turn him on so easily, laughing at his jokes, making him food, treating him with kindness, you were the hottest tease he ever encountered. God slash satan he wanted you, but would you believe him if he said the L word? No, he had to wait for you to say it, beetlejuice KNEW you liked him, he also knew you were a coward and shy, though it DID have a charm to it. But until the day you confess your undying love for him, beetlejuice decided he could satisfy his craving for you his own way.

The demon takes another inhale of your sent before groaning as he goes back to stroking himself, the idea of you pressing your clothed sex against his face while you stroke him was all he could think about. How your wet panties would be muffling his moans, at that thought beetlejuice instinctively shoved the garment in his mouth, as if to recreate the sensation, letting out a soft whine as drool now dribbles down his chin.

He could imagine all the sweet things youd be saying as you tended to his cock, you were always so sweet to him, the kindness in your voice always got him going down there, not that you knew.

He could hear you now

'Does that feel good?' 'You're so big' 'I cant wait to feel you inside of me'

His hips jump at that last thought, another muffled whine escapes his gagged mouth.

As much as beej wanted to take his time and enjoy himself to the fullest he didnt exactly know, how long you'll be out, it wasnt like you were going to work, you could be home anytime, but that was the thrill wasnt it?

His head now lulled back, eyes closed, as if to focus on his image of you, his hands begin to speed up their lazy pace.

The taste of you on his tongue, the memories of every nice thing you've ever said to him, the image of you now riding his cock, after you shoved your panties in his mouth, this little fantasy wasn't gonna last long, he was getting so close.

Beetlejuice muffled and groan around the gag, cursing and praising how good you felt and how good you are to him.

"Fuck y/n I'm gonna full you up so good-"

...

Coming home from the pharmacy, you drop your bags on the couch, you pause for a second, normally beetlejuice greets you the second you come home, you shrug and think nothing of it.

Until you hear a ruckus down the hall, you groan, he was messing around with your stuff again wasnt he, you huff and head to your room.

Without a second thought you swing the door open, all you could hear as you approached the room was unintelligible mumbles. But you scream at what you see, and so does the culprit.

"Beetlejuice I told you, stay out of my- WHAT THE FUCK!?" You shriek at seeing the demon in question jerking off on your bed

Though your scream made him blow his load, he immediately sits up and tries to cover himself, trying to muffle out some sort of excuse, pink fading from his hair, now being replaced with deep purples and blues

"I am so sorry, I didnt see any, I swear, i, um I should have knocked" you babbled as you quickly run off leaving the demon confused more then anything, you werent gonna scream at him? Banish him? Join in? He sat there for a moment trying to process what happened, taking the soaked panties out of his mouth, staring at the doorway where you once stood.

After a few minutes he has a small chuckle, that was you wasnt it? Shy little y/n, you see a creepy dead guy stroking the snake in your bed and you apologize, getting up from the bed, beetlejuice snaps his fingers redressing himself and cleaning up the mess he made.

He makes his way to you, to push his luck.

There you were sitting on the couch, face in your hands probably dying of embarrassment.

"Hey" he greets

Nothing

"You enjoy the show?" He jokes

Still nothing, the ghoul frowns, purple taking over his form, he gently sits down next to you.

"I promise to wash the sheets if you just say something" he pleads

"...please find a different place to do that" you mumble in your hands, clearly dying of embarrassment, but he'll take it

"No problem sugar, I'll wait for a personal invitation to unload in your bed" he laughs, thankful you didnt banish him, beetlejuice gives you a hug, feeling your body freeze at the contact, he didnt really blame you, as he squeezed you he thanked anyone and everyone who could hear his prayers.

Bonus

Once you over came your embarrassment,  you made sure to watch beetlejuice put the sheets in the wash, and show him how to run the machine, and again with the dryer, as the dryer rumbled he chuckled "bet it would feel real good to sit on top if it huh babes?" Hed nudge you, you only have him an awkward smile.

You werent exactly mad at him, just a tad upset, it was a violation of your trust, though beetlejuice was practically on his hands and knees begging you to forgive him, saying your bed is the most comfortable place in the house ect, and how he'll make it up to you, anything you want, now he's stuck on chore duty.

But as you lay in bed that night, alone, beetlejuice took the couch as punishment, you couldnt help but think back to walking in on your friend, and seeing him in such a state, gagged, drooling, an absolute mess, and his package, you didnt expect beej to be so thick down there, you shiver at the thought, the idea of being stuffed by him made you legs weak, and seeing him finish? He was like a fucking firehose, you werent going to be sleep tonight with those thoughts bouncing around your skull.

[wittyworm]

i dont know . i needed to write this all down i dont give a shit if its in order or if it makes sense or not. im not putting it under a cut

munchausen by proxy is such a painful and slow and cruel process to watch and there's absolutely nothing you can do when its too late. you just grow up and wonder, why why is she getting worse every single time you see her? she cant possibly have this many problems. we never once knew what she actually had. we would just wish, like, please stop taking pieces from her she cant fight you, you spend her whole life taking pieces from her and stripping her down until she cant see, out of one eye, then you take the next. cant walk, can barely speak. heart barely beats on its own, and then in the very end you wont let her go. you let her suffer and rot for 6 months in the hospital, we cant go fucking see her, i keep asking when can i see her. covid prevents more than 2 guests, the guests are her parents, who are. ultimately keeping her there. and we wait. we wait and wait and wait. she fights. because shes always been strong, shes always wanted a bigger life for herself. dreamed bigger than anyone ive ever met. theyd always say she had the mind of a child but if you had a conversation with her for more than 5 fucking minutes you know thats not true. what else could she do though, other than find happiness and comfort in small things like dolls and toys. shes surely the reason i as an adult , love things like that, because my big cousin who ive known my entire fucking life loved them, she treated each of them like the real babies shed always wanted to have, gave them names gave them stories that shed tell me.

shed scare us sometimes. she showed us horror movies when we were way too young, shed pull out her glass eye and yell "BOO!" at you

"WANNA SEE IT AGAIN WANNA SEE IT AGAIN" we always told her "NO!!!" but it was funny . that was Emmy

To say she loved David Hasselhoff. Is the biggest understatement of the century. dont get me started. she was obsessed. she was married to him in her head and would often get defensive if she thought we were trying to steal her man David 😤

it was odd but it was Emmy. we watched the original spongebob movie too many times to count, we knew every word. Baywatch, Nightrider, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, She always played his albums. swear to god she loved the guy so much i forget he isnt actually family. she had a massive 'sexy' print out of him on her wall 🤦‍♂️ god it was so funny we loved that thing. i could go on and on

she loved big gaudy rings and jewelry. the flashier the better. miss classic hollywood. we'd always look for them for her ,see something that looked cartoonishly grand and think "thats so emmy" wed get them if we could.

she had soo many collections. games, pogs, jewelry, david, babydolls, vhs tapes upon vhs tapes. a favorite pastime of mine was going through and organizing all of them for her . all of the David ones in their own special sections of course.

she was the funniest person youd ever meet. life of the party. always singing loud, making funny faces and sounds. telling hilarious stories. some made up some real.

she wanted to be a mom, she wanted to be a wife. but those things were impossible for her to achieve.

...

we saw her less and less as we got older.. i hate to think how sad it made her seeing us all grow up away from her. but she was always so happy to see us , tell us "you look so beautiful you look so big!" she was so so genuine about it she always made you feel good.

even when, she couldnt actually see you anymore

i want to jot down so many memories , theres so much more, i cant think super clearly right now.

she passed away 2 days ago

or maybe it was a day

i dont remember

heart failure/ brain failure

our other cousin/ uncle/ her brother also passed away less than a month ago. that was a shock. they told her... for some reason, she wasnt able to respond, though. im sure that still hurt..

she is a bright light that went out . in this stupid fucking world. it sucks

but i want to like . hopefully live life in a way she would have wanted . something shed be proud of i guess .

im glad they finally let her stop suffering. im glas shes not suffering anymore . shes free. she was 46 years old

Esmeralda Burgos, my light, my laughter, my cousin. you will be greatly missed for all of time to come. you absolute legend

Say hi to Manny, Nana, and Josie for me, and shine over us all

I love you

[honeykawa]

Fly | Route: Tanaka Ryuunosuke

genre: mafia au, choose your own adventure

warnings: violence, suggestive themes but nothing graphic

word count: 3.1k

Fly Masterlist

“I choose him”

You looked at the man who had been standing in the corner of the room with his arms crossed

“Tanaka get your ass moving and take them home. Pick them up in the morning and take them home from now on. Make sure they dont run away or itll be on your head”

“Got it boss”

The car ride to your apartment was filled with silence and the soft sound of music coming from the radio

You were too nervous to say anything

The growing feeling of anxiety in your chest made it almost hard to breath

You started to unconsciously grab at the area above your chest and your breathing became irregular

‘How did i get into this mess?’ ‘whats going to happen to me?’

These thoughts keep rushing through your head

“--hey are you okay?”

Tanaka pulled the car over so he could stop and assess just what was happening

And from the way he saw it...it looked like an anxiety attack

His panicked a little himself watching you like this he didnt even want to imagine the feelings rushing through you right now

He got you to control your breathing again and come down from your panic

“You good now?”

You nodded your head, still weary about being near this man

He could tell you were still on your guard with the way you wrapped your arms around your body, as if you were trying to make yourself smaller

“I know it seems rough right now but i swear itll be okay”

His voice was soft with you, something you didnt expect from someone in the mafia

The car ride after that went pretty smooth

“We’re here”

The ride went faster than you thought it would and you got out of his car before saying your goodbyes

“Ill pick you up in the morning...if you need me heres my card”

He held out his card to you as you slowly took it from his hands

“See you”

And with that he sped off as you went inside your apartment to go to bed, hoping that maybe this had all been a dream

Once tanaka got back to his apartment he immediately plopped himself onto his bed and covered his eyes with his arm while thoughts of you plagued his mind

‘Cute’

His arm fell down to his side and he just stared at the ceiling

“Get your shit together tanaka. Your job is to watch them, nothing more”

He rolled over to his side with thoughts of you fading as he drifted into sleep

You woke up to the sound of light knocking on your door

And as soon as you opened the door it finally set in that last night really did happen

“Are you ready to go?”

Tanaka took one look at you and let out a deep sigh knowing that you werent

“Ill give you fifteen minutes”

You nodded your head as you ran back into your room and changed into something work appropriate

Wait where were you working? What would be considered work appropriate?

Based off of what tanaka was wearing you assumed something business casual

When you came out you looked at tanaka to see if this was good enough and he just nodded his head and started walking back towards his car, opening the door for you to get in

“I talked it over with daichi and youll be working with me as my assistant”

Your eyes widened and he immediately knew what went through your mind

“No not like that! Like with actual business stuff you wont really have to do anything with the mafia”

His flailing around made you laugh a bit and lifted a weight off of your shoulders

Listening to you laugh was almost relaxing, his cheeks heating up from the mere sight of your carefree smile

He gave you a quick tour of the place and introduced you to the others if you ran into them but that was about it

As his assistant you really didnt do much

If anything it felt like he was just an over glorified babysitter

But you shuffled through the files he gave you and sorted them the way he wanted

Tanaka watched you from the corner of his eye while you both worked

It wasnt that he was worried you would do it wrong

But it was just last night that you had that anxiety attack right in front of him

“y/n do you want to go out?”

You looked up from your papers and looked at him in confusion

“Right now? And what do you mean by ‘go out’?”

A big smile appeared on his face

“Yeah right now! Lets go! And dont think too much of it”

He stood up and grabbed his wallet

You followed him and as you two rounded the corner of the block he held the door open to a small cafe

“Go ahead and order whatever you want its on me”

You were weary about being here

Would you two get in trouble for leaving like that?

Tanaka could see the worry still lingering on your face and rose his hand to gently pat your head

“Like I said its on me so dont worry about leaving the office ill take any repercussions if there are any”

The grin on his face took a weight off of your chest and you felt like the air around you wasnt so thick anymore

After getting back to the office no one had even noticed that you two had even left

Whos running this place??

The next few weeks seemed to be fine

It was almost like you lived a normal life and you werent being watched by the mafia

You and tanaka had grown closer and it was easier to talk to the others now

He treated you kindly and tried to understand your situation

Unlike the two interns who always berated you for not knowing where certain files were or would roll their eyes when you would flinch at sudden movements the first few days

But tanaka took it slow with you, doing little things so that youd be more comfortable

At first it was subtle

If you needed to go make a copy of something he’d suddenly need to go grab something from the copy room with you even if you insisted that you could get it for him

Or how he always tried to include you in conversations with others so you would get more comfortable around everyone

Tanaka grew to be someone who it was easy for you to be around

But that sense of calmness was quickly wiped away when you joined him on one of his...excursions

“Heres the case. Now give us what we want”

Tanaka held the case in front of him while you just watched from the car

Sure, he’d take you with him but he’d never let you actually get out

He didnt really want this to take too long

Especially since it was just him against a good handful of men

But the men he was making the trade deal with suddenly saw you in move in the car and locked eyes with you

His smile sent a chill down your spine formed on his face

“New deal: give me that hot piece of ass in the car and you have a deal”

Tanakas jaw clenched at the the disgusting words just said about you

“Im sorry but,”

You couldnt see tanakas face until he looked up at the man in front of him

The look on his face utterly terrified you

“I’ll kill you if you even try to put a hand on them”

Everyone stood there unmoving, too scared to move

Tanaka turned around and headed back to the car where you were

“Deals off if that wasnt clear”

But one of the other men moved towards him

“The fuck you mean its off!”

Tanaka easily evaded the man’s advance and took him down with only a quick few movements

“Anyone else want to try”

The question was simple enough but no one dared made eye contact with him as he got into the car and drove off

The car ride was quiet, youd never seen tanaka look like that before

It scared you

He scared you

Tanaka noticed your silence and reached a hand out to pat your head but his chest went heavy at the sight of you flinching

“Y/n?”

You knew he wouldnt hurt you but you couldnt stop the slight tremble

“Im sorry tanaka”

A weak smile appeared on his face

“It’s fine y/n. i’ll take you home, okay?”

You just nod your head and neither of you talk the rest of the ride

A few days go by and you can feel the distance between you and tanaka growing

Its so noticeable that the others in the office can feel the awkwardness between the two of you

Tanaka suddenly stood up from his seat which startled you but he quickly rose his hands

“Woah sorry didnt mean to scare you”

He said it with such a sad smile on his face that it almost hurt to even look at him

“Ill be back in a moment, gotta use the bathroom”

You nodded your head as he left and let out a sigh

You knew he was just doing business

This was his job

It just shocked you to see the man thats been so kind to you to look...like that

Tanaka on the other hand knew this would happen eventually

He washed his face in the sink and looked up at his reflection

‘Remember your place. They deserve better’

He wiped off his face before heading back to his office only to see you not there

His heart just drop not seeing you there

“y/n?!”

He was about to bolt out of there but as soon as he turned around he bumped right into you

You fell onto the ground and the papers you were holding scattered around everywhere

You both just looked at each other for a moment

“Tanaka--”

Before you could say anymore he scooped you into his arms and you could feel the slight tremble in his shoulders before he quickly pulled away once he realized what he was doing

“Sorry y/n i dont know what came over me”

He started help to pick up the papers you dropped but before he could get too far you pulled him into a hug

He was frozen on the spot at feeling your touch

The warmth from your hands made his heart beat erratically

“Im sorry tanaka”

Your arms tightened around him

Youd seen so many sides of him

How clumsy he was

How kind he could be

Youve also seen how scary he could be and honestly it still shocked you

But you want to believe in him

The him thats been nothing but gentle with you

You could hear him let out a shaky breath before pulling you into his chest

After that your relationship with tanaka went back to normal

Or at least as normal as it could have been

Ever since that day youve started to notice how your heart speeds up whenever you look at him

Or the butterflies in your stomach when he smiles at you

He was careful to not let you see the mafia side of things anymore

You appreciate the thought but youd be lying if you said it didnt worry you when he came to work bandaged or bruised

Today was one of those days where tanaka had picked you up with some visible injuries

The cut on his face looked fairly fresh and without realizing it you reached up and gently ran your thumb over it

“Um what are you doing y/n”

Not that tanaka hated this

He felt his heart flutter at your touch

“You know, i dont mind helping you if you need it”

He smiled and took your hand off of his face

“Thank you y/n but im fine”

Just knowing that you cared was enough for him

‘I love you’

They were words he couldnt say

But he knew this life wasnt for you and he couldnt force you to come live in it

A few weeks go by and you feel like every time you get close to him he pulls back to just keep it barely within the realm of just friends

But that was fine as long as you could stay near

It was another one of those days where tanaka was off doing mafia business so noya kept you company

He always had his guard up but he seemed to take a liking to you

“Do you like tanaka”

The question caught you so off guard you dropped your pen

You looked up at him

“Is it that obvious?”

Noya kept working on whatever was in front of him not even sparing you a glance

“Painfully”

You could feel your embarrassment rising

“But if it makes you feel any better i think he likes you too so promise me...make him happy”

Before you could say anything back noyas phone went off and he immediately answered

His eyes went wide and his head whipped towards you before hanging up and dragging you somewhere

“Noya! Where are we going?”

He rushed you into a car and he took the wheel before driving off to who knows where

“Where are we?”

He got out of the car and opened your door

You were at an apartment complex from the look of it

“We’re at tanakas apartment hurry up”

You immediately got out and followed after him and you almost felt your legs give out seeing the state tanaka was in

Bloody and battered

Hinata was sitting next to his bed with his arms crossed

“Idiot rushed in despite not having a gun”

Noya rolled his eyes

“You know he doesnt like carrying one whyd you let him go alone?”

“Not my fault he didnt stop to think”

They kept talking to each other and went into the other room leaving you both alone

His breathing seemed stable as he slept but tears escaped your eyes as you took a seat next to him

Noya left you with tanaka and told you to take care of him

“He’ll try to tell you hes okay. Dont listen to him hes a fucking liar so take good care of him for me”

It was funny but it almost sounded like a goodbye

Tanaka woke up later that night only to see you sitting next to him with tear stains on your cheeks

The thought of you shedding tears because of him both hurt and warmed his heart

He reached up to wipe your face despite the pain he felt

Your cheeks fit perfectly within his hand and he found it cute how you leaned into his touch subconsciously

He couldnt move much but this is all he needed

You woke up before he did that next morning and decided to make some breakfast for the both of you

When you came back in he was just waking up

“Good morning tanaka”

The smile on your face as the sunlight trickled in through the window made him feel at ease

This...this was the life he longed for

“Morning”

He tried to sit up but flinched while doing so

You rushed to his side and set the food down before helping him up

“Dont push yourself. Youre still pretty banged up”

You changed his bandages for him every evening after that

“I can do this myself you know”

He said it with a light laugh

He was starting to get back on his feet and regained most of his movement and strength

“I know but...id like it if you would rely on me just a bit more. I know i cant do much but i can do this”

He didnt say anything back to you after that

In all honesty he didnt want to do it himself

Every time your hand even brushed over his skin it felt like he was on fire

Even the scars that have long since healed throbbed at your touch

His heart beat so hard against his chest that he was afraid that you could hear it

“There all done! Hope that wasnt too bad”

‘Dont smile at me’

‘Youre far too precious’

‘I dont know what ill do if you look at me like that’

He really was planning to let you go, he was fine with just keeping you at an arms length away but now he knew he was in too deep

You got up to put the first aid kit away but he quickly pulled you into his bed with him and he held you tight against his chest

His face was buried into the crook of your neck

He didnt know what he wanted anymore

He wanted to keep you safe but he couldnt guarantee that with him being in the mafia

He hated it

This life wasnt the one he wanted anymore

The life he wanted was with you

Slowly, he rose his head to look at you

“Run away with me y/n”

Your eyes widened in pure shock

“What...what did you just say?”

You couldnt believe what he just said

His eyes were serious though

“Run away with me. I dont want this life anymore. I want to give you the life you deserve. One filled with happiness and laughter where you dont have to worry about things like if ill come home the next day or not. One where you arent targeted. I love you y/n. I love you so much so please, run away with me or so help me god ill just take you”

He held you so tight that it felt like he might break at any sudden movement

You wrapped your arms around him and held him gently against you so you wouldnt hurt any of his wounds

“Then take me away”

That was all tanaka needed to let go of any reservations that were holding him back up

He kissed you with everything hes been bottling up until this moment

Your lungs burned as pulled away, both out of breath but hungry for more

“I hope you know Im not letting you go. Youre stuck with me now”

You laughed and kissed his forehead

“I wouldnt have it any other way”

That night was spent in each others arms, both of you longing for the others touch and neither of you wanting to be apart for even a second

Noya visited the apartment a few days later only to be met with complete silence

A knowing smile appeared on his face as he shook his head

He knew wherever you two were you were both happy

Because he knew you would keep your promise to him

[jemwritesstuff]

Ace Visconti x reader □

"you broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friend's house and i should call the cops but my cat kinda likes you so we're good now" AU cause my inspiration has fucked off. couldnt think of anyone else but trash husband for this lol sorry for being so late btw! been drowning in school work so i just decided to literally vomit this out, might edit later or not

word count: 1233

content warnings: alcohol, ace hopefully being ace, dwights implied relationship with david, a cat, takes place after the Fog, swearing

▪︎▪︎▪︎

waking up to the sound of someone meddling with your kitchen window is not pleasant. especially when that kitchen window is on the third floor of an apartment building.

next came the tumble of presumably whoever opened the window getting in and dropping to the floor. something also crashed down from the countertop.

that someone also cursed very loudly. i cringed and got up from the bed, every nerve in my body ready to make the ultimate fight or flight decision. phone in one hand and the trusted baseball bat from under the bed in the other i sneaked from the bedroom to the hallway leading to the kitchen. i heard a meow and bit back a curse. if this fucking burglar dared to touch mr. mittens i wouldnt hesitate to bash their skull in.

"oh my god you are the cutest motherfucker in this realm" came in the voice of the burglar who slurred and i could hear mr mittens starting to purr. motherfucker touched my cat.

"since when's dwight had a cat?" the burglar wondered out loud. something clattered to the floor. "AND YOURE ORANGE? i should visit dwight more often"

i peaked a look into the kitchen. the guy sitting on my kitchen floor was obviously drunk. he didnt seem to have burgling intentions in his mind or then mittens is just too good of a distraction. he didnt look too strong either, tall maybe, but he was quite slender from his figure. the dirty cap he had on along with the cheap-ish suit really didnt make him look that indimitating. also the fact that he was babytalking my cat.

i decided i could take him on easily with the bat and jumped the kitchen, turning the lights on.

"what the fuck are you doing in my kitchen?"

the guy yelped and blinked his eyes a couple of times, not really used to the bright light. "hi, you must be dwights fiancé then. hi, im ace. although i have to admit i thought youd be a lot more... hmm, masculine so to say or like a lot more"

"what the absolute fuck are you on about? i dont even know any dwights." i countered, still gripping the bat tight.

"are you saying im not in dwight fairfields apartment? i thought it was this one. although he did tell me to come to the door and not through the window like i did." he pondered and scratched his grey-ish hair under the cap. "it actually makes sense. dwights always been a fish tank person anyway"

mittens curled up in 'aces' lap and started purring even more loudly to gain attention.

"well hello to you." he started scratching mittens again. "unlike him, ive always been a cat person. if id have to pick an animal to live the rest of my life as itd have to be cat. imagine just laying around in sun all day, getting scratches every time you want? ideal."

at this point i had to admit i was at a loss. someone broke into my house DRUNK and was now rambling on and giving my cat as much attention as hes ever wanted. i had to pinch myself just to make sure i wasnt actually dreaming this whole thing.

i took a few more moments to wrap my head around this all and ended up sighing loudly.

"you break into my apartment-"

"entered without permission!"

"broke my fucking flower vase-"

"disassembled."

"and you are now stealing the heart of my cat-"

"i could steal your heart too!"

"in the dead of the night on a weekday-"

"in my defense i lived years in one day-"

"and youre fucking drunk."

"blame the brit."

"what the hell is your deal?"

"well for first timers i always give a little discount-"

"get. real." i growled.

"okay so honestly i did think this was my friends apartment. secondly, felines love me, there's nothing i can do about it. thirdly, king challenged me to drink with him and i aint one to turn down a free drink or five"

"so you're a drunk junkie?"

"what? no, no, no, no. king's a friend of mine, he ain't never even seen a monarch in his life."

mittens meowed loudly demanding more attention from the stranger who was busy flailing around with his hands trying to explain.

"whats his name?" he asked and continued his babytalking. if the situation was anything else i mightve thought it to be cute. cute-ish.

"mister mittens." i grumbled. deeming him unthreatening, i let the bat go, placing it carefully on the kitchen table.

"thats a fucking amazing name. mr mittens youve won me over." mittens seemed extremely pleased for the attention he was receiving in the dead of the night and continued purring and rolling around on his lap. ace was happily providing for my cat without a care in the world. 

i sighed and pinched myself again. the whole situation was too bizarre to be anything but a wild ass dream. 

“whats your name?” he asked. “i feel like i should call you something else in my head than the one whose apartment i accidentally broke into” 

i hesitated but mr mittens had always had a good people sense; i remember once when i brought a one night stand home and he immediately started hissing and clawing at them. later i found out they were actually cheating on their partner. now he was basically trembling from excitement and giving everything he had to get some pats from this stranger.

i told him my name.

"lovely name for someone with a lovely cat" he stated and grinned wildly. the cap was close to tipping off his head but he didnt seem to mind.

i shook my head, "youre lucky he likes you."

"oh, that i am i assure you." 

"youre gonna have to pay me back for that vase" i demanded, "and i think we're taking you to this dwight now."

"i can do that. ya just gotta give me your number and we'll figure out a date." 

i frowned at him. he somehow managed to shoot back an even larger grin. 

as it turned out, 'dwight fairfield' lived in the complex next to mine, so i decided to walk the man there, through the door this time, and make sure he doesnt break into any more random apartments. mittens was saddened by his leave and desperately clung to him, successfully forcing himself with us on the short walk.

surprisingly, dwight was real and actually opened the door when ace knocked on it. he was fussing over the older man and scolding him for dragging me into this. they didnt seem like they should be friends, but i didnt think they were related either. asking seemed too rude even in the dead of the night.

"youre being ridiculous, mittens." i sighed yet again when he still rather decided to stick to the man who gave him pats for a few moments instead of his legal and loving owner.

"i told ya, love, felines adore me. maybe itll help if you promise that we'll get to see eachother again?" his smirk never seemed to falter. 

i frowned. the only thing i wanted when going to bed a few hours prior was a good nights sleep. i rubbed my eyes. 

i cursed.

"stop by in the morning to return my fucking cat."

[firstknightss]

GWAINCELOT ESSAY THREE???

[commentary voice] ah yes and this gwaincelot essay.... which turned into a fic was inspired by @nextstopparis and @little-ligi

GWAINE TEACHING LANCELOT HOW TO READ. and thats how they actually CONFESS.

imagine gwaine seeing lancelot trip up reading leon’s plan for the day, seeing him trying to understand it. and gwaines, hes a little in love. Hes. Hes a little hit with feelings for this Noble (tm) knight. So OF COURSE he CANT EMOTION and he tries to show his affection for lancelot without yknow being in ‘loVE’

he comes over with his swishy hair and bantery tone like “oooOhHh LANCELOT! Lancey! Hey! Hello! Can’t read leon’s goddamn awful handwriting huh?”

And Lancelots embarrassed and flushes red and gwaine thinks hes Fucked Up (and he really doesn’t want to fuck this up, this is the first time he’s actually felt emotions this deep for someone) and tries to fix it panickedly, like the Anxiety Clown He Is.

He keeps on saying sorry and apologising, and Lancelot, the EVER CALM KNIGHT GUY, goes “it’s fine, it’s okay. It’s nothing to do with you...” and then he hesitates. He HESITATES. “....it’s just that...” and then he BITES HIS LIP and gwaine thinks he might just faint there and then, “...i cant read.”

and now it hits him, gwaine, gwaine, who thought literacy was something trash and something he didn’t really need, realises how important it is. and so, yknow because hes kind of wrapped in those Emotions (tm), he pulls lancelot’s sleeve after practice, when they’re alone in the changing room. (and if lancelot wasn’t so tired and miserable, he would have easily seen gwaine BLUSH)

And he, shyly asks if lancelot wouldnt mind being tutored by him.

Now Lancelot is OVERJOYED, and he’s borderline CRYING because lancelot, poor old village boy lancelot who’d been kicked out of the knights of camelot, and had to become a MERCENARY and fight for masters who didn’t care for him, has NEVER HAD someone literally CARE about him so much. (Apart from Merlin. He loves merlin <3)

so now imagine lancelot waking up an hour early the next morning, and showing up into gwaine’s room. He knows gwaine literally doesnt sleep with a lock, so he just barges in, and starts shaking gwaine.

Now GWAINE sleeps like a Log (had so much shit going on irl, time to sleep it away) and when he opens his bleary eyes, seeing lancelot in one of his stupid v neck shirts over him, hes like “....h...helo??”

and lancelot’s all like. “We- werent YOU gonna give me reading lessons.” And gwaine nods, yawning (and in that moment lancelot thinks gwaine looks unimaginably cute, so cute that he wants to literally ruffle gwaine’s hair and run his hands through how silky and brown it is.)

THEN gwaine pulls on the dont care-ish mask, and makes his arms into a pillow under his head, as he leans against the wall behind his bed, in some kind of somewhat???flirty??? manner??? [i dont...i dont know what hes trying to do. On the other hand! Not does Lancelot :) ]

Lancelot, does not realise this is gwaine’s poor attempt at flirting - since he’s seen gwaine ACTUALLY flirting and this is like. Nothing. And its also poorly executed. Which is NOTHING like gwaine.

So he pulls gwaine’s arm, and half hauls him out of bed.

As gwaine’s head crashes into lancelot’s stomach, he can smell lancelot’s clothes. They smell of flowers, and cotton and everything so natural and gwaine, who literally smells of wine, and wood and Tavern. (And aftershave, or the 500AD equivalent)

[see here, see im trying to bring themes of dionysis okay. OkayyyyyyyyY. yours truly likes looking at greek mythology. And both these two complete dionysis]

Gwaine, in his sleepy stupor, nestles his head on Lancelot’s hip, who gives a sigh and stands there. One hand clutching gwaine’s, leaving the other free.....

....to rake through his soft, flowy brown hair. And twirl his fingers through its waves, and Gwaine cuddles in further.

And since Lancelot left the door open, Leon (the other bitch who wakes up at 4am to do idk nothing) sees them two...like that, illuminated by the SUNLIGHT behind them, and smiles a little.

And then he trips over the stairs, the moment is lost.

Gwaine and Lancelot pull away at the same time, and gwaine’s face turns back to “ha ha im a Jerk (tm)” and if he wasnt too busy trying to hide how flustered he was, he’d see Lancelot looking at him the way he used to look at GWEN.

They both blink and look at each other, understandingly, neither of them to speak of this again.

And then Gwaine drags himself out of bed, and Lancelot raises his eyebrows as he watches him (totally not checking him out) haul out a book from his cupboard.

Gwaine’s too sleepy for this, he keeps yawning and rubbing his eyes (looking like a cat, Lancelot notes) and Lancelot takes a deep breath, his eyes understanding.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“Lancelot, I love..” he bites his tongue, cursing his half asleep mind “..doing this, and love hanging out with you...I just cant stay up this early.”

Reading lessons, from now on, are at 1:30am-whenever Gwaine and Lancelot stop rambling about Odysseus and Circe and Telemachus

[i dont know any other ancient books apart from like. Ancient greek/Roman ones. So i guess. Its not historically accurate,,,,BUUIT this is a fanfic for a pair who had like no scenes together SO i think i can take some ✨creative liberties✨]

Lancelot has heard of the journey of Aneas from travelling bards, singing songs in his native old english. Gwaine’s eyes are quick at latin, and he learnt the flaws of Romulus and Remus in his pure latin. Gwaine’s a good teacher, and lancelot is a quick study, and it’s not long before they’re arguing over which Goddess caused the most harm in the Illiad.

Gwaine’s never met someone who he could reveal that he loved reading to, he loved doing.

Lancelot’s never met someone who he could tell he couldn’t read, and ask if they could teach him, love learning.

They make it work.

The other knights notice, of course they notice. Percival notices how Lancelot stumbles into the Gwaine’s room at night, bright eyed. Elyan notices Lancelot and Gwaine’s voices from Gwaine’s room opposite him; sometimes slow, Gwaine speaking slowly and Lancelot following; sometimes heated and passionate.

(They’re arguing. They’re arguing about how to pronounce Minerva)

Merlin finds the two, in the early hours of the morning - when the birds are figuring what song they sing today - on Gwaine’s bed.

Gwaine leaned against the bedframe, his trousered legs splayed over the sheets. Loosely braided, long brown hair fell over his closed eyelids, his mouth in a small smile.

And Merlin follows his arm draped over Lancelot, snuggled beside him, his head on his broad shoulder, every breath of wind pushing against curly black hair, making it almost /bounce/. His eyes are covered by the other man’s hair, and he looks...content. More content than Merlin has ever seen him.

He slips out as quietly as he came in, and smirks, hes gotta tell arthur they finally got their shit together oh GOD

Its no surprise to anyone but them, when Arthur pulls Lancelot out of training, and into his chambers.

“I’m glad you’ve found someone Lancelot.” He starts, his face geniune, his voice giving away hints of relief. (He thought he was never going to see his knight smile again after all the ordeals that had happened to him)

“Oh...” Lancelot’s heart sinks, “...how did you find out, Sire?”

Arthur blinks, taking in the change of mood in Lancelot, maybe it wasn’t anything important, maybe they were trying to keep it casual, hell they didnt want the king knowing.

“I- uh, I just noticed...” Goddamnit Merlin, and Goddamn his need to tell him everything he saw. (Merlin had advised him not to do this, as they sat on his bed after a long night. This was really his fault.)

Lancelot pales, and he places his hands down on the table beside him, palms slapping stone as he did so.

“Well, I guess I should tell you the whole truth then,” his voice is quiet, and Arthur steps closer, “Sire I am not of Noble birth, and was born in a village - as you know.”

Arthur nods, his arms crossed, but his Kingly Bravado fell away at the sight of his knight, and one of his closest friends, being this vulnerable.

“Yes I know, but what does this ha-“

“And we children in the village we-“ he falters, “-we were never taught to read.”

“Yes, no I understand, I-“ he pauses, Lancelot’s words hitting him a bit too late, this was about literacy?

This, this whole conversation was about literacy?

Not being gay?

Merlin was going to have a field day

“Sire?”

“I understand Lancelot, and is this why you feel a little out of place with the other knights?” He carries it on, with a smile, he has a few questions to ask merlin.

“Yes, and that’s why I asked Gwaine to tutor me from time to time, although, the sessions carry through late into the night, which may have been affecting my performance at practice. I’ll have you know that this is a temporary th-“

“It’s fine Lancelot,” Arthur places a hand on his shoulder, “You are still exceptional at practice,”

“Thank you Sire,” Lancelot twinkles.

✨

“Theyre, theyre not together?” Merlin cant stop laughing, tears streaming down his face, “theyre not TOGETHER?? oh my God arthur what did you DO”

They sit together on Arthur’s bed, drinking wine from stemless cups together, with Arthur recounting the events of the day; red faced.

“I mean, it was your idea Merlin.”

“I just saw them, and I assumed...I didnt...I didnt think youd ASK them.”

“What do you think I’d do then?? Let them be on their merry way.”

“Yes!”

✨

“Do you like me?” Gwaine asks, unexpectedly, one night, the moon vibrant against the loud sea.

“You’re...tolerable...” Lancelot says, a smile tugging at his lips, as the silver moonlight falls against his hair, a halo around him.

✨

The knights give them the look every morning, as the two of them stumbled out of the same room, more frequently than ever.

Sometimes Lancelot would throw on Gwaine’s shirt, when he’d crumpled his own beyond repair. Sometimes Gwaine would put some of Lancelot’s hair oil on, when his hair was frizzy.

They gave each other knowing looks when Gwaine and Lancelot started whispering and giggling like a bunch of schoolgirls.

✨

And then Stupid gwaine had to go get fucking stabbed, and their delicate dance was like trying to waltz through a minefield.

Lancelot clutches onto Gwaine’s arm as Merlin feels his forehead with shaking hands.

“He’s burning up.”

“Infection...?” Lancelot sounds broken, and nods, fumbling with his pack to find some bandages.

It was just a simple quest; a save the day, get the girl, do various harmless shenanigans type of quest.

He’d half expected Gwaine to get the girl, and he cant help but give out a half choked laugh. Gwaine had no idea what hit him when she turned out to be the evil one all along.

He tries to forget that Gwaine showed no interest in her, he tries to forget that Gwaine’s been less frequent at the Tavern, he tries to forget that he hasn’t seen Gwaine with anyone since months now.

Gwaine, his beautiful Gwaine was lying on his lap, hot red blood rushing from his side, staining his polished chainmail with dark, sticky blood.

He’s been out for nearly an hour now, and Lancelot remembers carrying him, through the entire forest, forgetting his sword and his helmet and just grabbing Gwaine and getting the shit out of there.

Gwaine’s lack of self preservation was really rubbing off on Lancelot nowadays.

Merlin watches as Lancelot holds back tears, his own eyes stinging. Gwaine can’t die like this, he can’t die like this....

“hælan beorn adl”

Merlin’s eyes flashed gold, and Lancelot could feel warmth coming back into the fingers he was grabbing.

He was coming back.

And then the weight of everything hits him.

He was in Fucking Love.

✨

“Hey.” Gwaine’s voice is rough from disuse, but Lancelot nearly sobs when he hears the voice.

“Don’t fucking do that to me again, amor meus.” He puts his head down on Gwaine’s chest; finding the hammering of his heart calming.

He shimmies onto Merlin’s bed, which Gwaine had been lying in for the past few days.

“Did you mean, ami meus?” Gwaine sounds tired, too tired to be awake.

“Huh? Did i say something else?” Lancelot decides to play dumb, a sparkle in his eyes,

“I thought I heard amor meus,” Gwaine pushes his nose into Lancelot’s hair, taking in the wonderful smell of coconut.

“Well then, at least your hearing’s okay, amor meus.”

Gwaine gulped, and was sure Lancelot could hear his loud swallow.

“Lancelot, I hope this isnt a big joke with me teachin you latin and all,” Gwaine’s voice is a little wobbly from the slee deprivation and the magic and the pain numbers, “because I’ll have you know that I really love you, and I cant go on like this any longer,”

“Its okay Gwaine, I learnt latin from the man I love, of course it’s not a joke.”

“The man you love? Who’s tha-“

Realisation hits him like a brick.

Oh.

Oh.

“Me?” His voice cracks, and Lancelot looks up, a smirk on his face.

“Of course dumbass.”

“Like I’m meant to know that,” Gwaine tries to keep his dont care-ish aura, but they both know he’s too exhausted to keep that up.

“mmm?”

Gwaine kisses him on the nose, and he wraps himself around him.

And thats how Merlin finds them later that day, eyes blinking as he stood there.

✨

“I’m glad you’ve found someone, Lancelot.” Arthur coughs.

“Is that what that whole talk was about???”

“Answer the question.” His words sound harsh, but he’s barely hiding a smile.

“I’m glad too, I’m Glad I found Gwaine too.” Lancelot blushes, turning to gwaine.

“Why are you asking anyway, Princess?”

“Oh just, making sure this time.”

[achilleasfury]

Hello! Hope you have a great day or night ahead of you! Could I have HC's of a platonic Homicidal (oof I struggled on that for a few seconds) Liu x reader, where the reader has prom, but doesn't have anyone to go with. So, Liu takes it upon himself to go with them? Reader is gender neutral, pretty short (I read an HC of Liu being 6'5) so, the reader is about 5'3 or 5'4. Its a masquerade theme, so they'll put on masks. Sully only tolerates the reader. Also, can I be 🌷 anon? :D

YEA SURE!! welcome tulip flower anon!! (i dont have the enomjis on my pc KJNDSKJG)

also yes yes Liu i love him!!!! also you say headcanons? guess what. fuck that, i wanted to make it a small fic /lh

also uh. I have literally no clue how proms work. I just heard people talk about it/show pictures so yea KJSDBGKJ

--------------------------------

You didn't think it would be that bad if you didn't have anyone to go to prom with. Your best friend, Liu, seemed to think otherwise tho. With the sternest look he could manage while looking down at you in your prom wear, he explained.

"You deserve a prom date. Whether it'd be romantic or platonic. Even if its just an excuse to not dance with somebody, or to not feel alone. You shouldn't have to go all by yourself. Which is... why i decided that I will be your platonic prom date, and you can't say anything against it. .. Because it is this way now. Let me get my suit, and then get going.", while talking, the stern look vanished to reveal a soft smile and he booped your nose. "Small little (Y/N), we'll look fantastic, while not dancing at all." You just continued to stare at him, till he shifted a bit uncomfortable.

"oh sweet, sweet Liu. You can't just be my date, and then expect me not to dance. Oh, how dare you, mistaken tall ass fucking boy.", you smiled innocently up to him, patting his arm. "I want at least one dance with you, to agree to let you be my date." Liu sighed, nodding defeated. "One. Only because you're you."

------------

Liu sighed, rubbing his eyes. Sully was being incredibly annoying on how he didn't want to dance if there would be a situation that forced the demon-like entity to get in control, and then awaken in the middle of a dance. He may tolerate (Y/N), but he wasn't too fond of anything more than that.

"You might see them as your little sibling, or whatever, but we, especially I, are not here to form family bonds. We're here to find somebody." "I am aware, Sully. They need me tho. I am not willing to let people pick on them, because they didnt have a plus-one. And if no one else it fitting, I'd place myself in that role every time, ever and ever again. I will make sure they are fine. And you wont stop me. We both know that." "Fine, keep spoiling your little emotional support human. Dont get too attached. You might not be able to keep them long."

--------

"Looking good, L. The mask suits you. How did you even find it in the color of my accessoire??? You had like. Three hours to get ready."

Just a teeny tiny bit confused you looked at Liu.

"Lets just say.. a friend helped me, after I showed them a picture of the color.", he smiled ominously. "Now, beautiful royal. Care for a dance? Gotta get it done before the buffet opens.", his smile almost looked a bit pained at the thought of dancing. A while ago Liu had really enjoyed dancing, swinging to the music. He just. Couldnt do it so carelessly anymore, and that bugged him.

As you two slowly moved to the music, your bodies close together(you could almost hear his heartbeat), a loud sigh escaped his lips, causing you to jump slightly.

"Are you alright?", Liu asked, a worried look oh his face, most hidden by the mask.

"Yea no, stop sighing that loud.", you poked him. "I know that the buffet looks like a wedding invitation, but the dance isnt over, M'lord. You can eat after. Its not long anymore", comforting, you patted his shoulder, smiling softly.

--------

"Liu?" "hmh.. yea?"

"I think it was a good choice to give in to you basically begging to dance and spend the evening with me." "Oh you fucker, I didnt beg", within a short moment he was on his feet again, tackling you to the ground. "How dare you change my words"

You couldnt stop giggling, even as he rolled off of you, poking you, so youd answer him.

In the end, it really turned out to be a nice day, spent with your best friend. I