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torukmaktoskxawng · 1 year ago

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tsamsiyu ta'em - healing and closure part one

Masterlist - part thirteen

Summary: In the aftermath of the battle, some tensions are high, and the Sullys have to learn how to let go.

Pairing: Ronal/Tonowari/Original Female Character

Tag: #tsamsiyu ta'em fic

posted on ao3

Word Count: 6k+

Warnings: canon-compliant, mature language, slow burn, polyamory, found family, cool aunt agenda, rushed, time skips, fluff, angst, major character death, child endangerment, etc.

Taglist (bold indicates "could not tag"): @motheroffae @undeniableadrenaline @mooniequeen @shit-i-say-shit-i-think @heart-an0n @amiets2 @slutforsmut4ever @yeosxxx @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @sucker4angstt @inolaphoenix @ilovechickenwings @tojisleftarm @andyfromku @ivysully @lightandshadow31

A/N: As Anakin Skywalker once said, "This is where the fun begins." 😈

I had to split this chapter into two parts because it was getting to be over 15k words... so expect the second one soon!

Smoke continued to fill the air well into the new day after the eclipse was spent in nothing but war and bloodshed. Ronal could still smell it all in her nose, making her stomach churn but she stomped down her disgust and continued her duties as tsahik. While the Sully family sat around their dead son and brother, quiet and in shock, too tired to move from their spots on the rock surface, she tended to any of their treatable wounds. For the most part, Toruk Makto was the worst out of all of them, with several cuts and bruises littered across his face and body, likely sporting broken ribs on top of that. He insisted on waiting for Ronal to heal him, however, in exchange for his daughter and his sister to be treated before him.

Young Kiri had knife marks on her neck and when Ronal provided a salve, the young girl reverted to her own healing knowledge as a tsakaremand treated the wound herself without saying a word. Meanwhile, Makayla was sporting matching knife wounds on her neck, a bruised tswin, as well as a cut-up, twisted ankle. Ronal took her time treating the female avatar, using long, leisurely strokes of her fingers along Kayla's throat, spreading the salve across the thin slice. She did her best to be gentle around Kayla's queue braid, prodding gently around the base at the back of her skull. Kayla never spoke a word, shivering under Ronal's touch and simply nodding her head in gratitude once the tsahik finally wrapped her foot up. Ronal nods her head in return and moves away to treat Jakesully.

He had placed himself beside his sister while Ronal tended to her, and when it was his turn to be inspected for injuries, he took the time to explain to Kayla everything that happened and filled her in on moments she missed during the fight. Ronal wasn't fluent in the Sky People's language, but she caught a name called 'Quaritch' falling from Toruk Makto's mouth, and the word 'dead' followed it.

"He's gone," Jake told Kayla grimly, "I made sure of it."

"Alright," his sister croaked quietly, her voice shot from all the screaming and crying she had done throughout the whole battle. She didn't say anything else.

Meanwhile, Kiri and Lo'ak were gathered around Spider, listening to him as the human boy told his friends what had happened to him after Quaritch captured him. It was clear that he was leaving some parts out and simplifying certain moments, but neither of the Sully siblings questioned it, knowing that it had been a long, trying day and everyone was exhausted. Kiri and Lo'ak will eventually want to learn every little thing that happened to their friend but today was not one of those days. Those kids had been through enough as of late.

Spider informed Jake and Kayla of the more important details of his escapades, mentioning one of his masks had a tracker in it, but he wasn't sure if the exo-pack that had been thrown to him while abandoning the sinking ship had one as well. Jake and Kayla exchange a silent look between siblings and already, they were making plans for any upcoming battles, reverting to their old, military ways and as children of war.

Once Ronal appeared satisfied with everyone's wounds, she carefully stood up and returned to Tonowari and their children, who had stood off to the side to give the Sullys their respective space, "I have done all that I can from here, but I will need to tend to the rest of our people, and preferably from the healing huts where I have all of my supplies."

Tonowari nods in agreement before turning his eyes to Jake, who meets his gaze as the chief gently speaks, "We must return to the village to tend to our wounded and mourn our losses."

Jake gives Tonowari a solemn nod, two fathers who were exhausted both physically and mentally, drained from what they endured trying to protect their families. With very few words, Tonowari gathered his wife and children to follow him back into the water, but not without some tear-filled expressions as Tsireya and Ao'nung were hesitant to leave their friends in their sorrow. Rotxo appeared to be their voice of reason until finally, the three reef children dove back into the ocean to summon their ilu.

Toruk Makto watches the olo'eyktan and his family leave before turning to his own wife and children, "We should head back, too. Let's go, everyone."

Neytiri merely nods, her silence holding a heavy chill throughout the whole family. Her eyes stared off into the distance, far away from her mind while still holding onto Neteyam with all the strength she still had left. It was only after Jake bent down to pick up their son's body that she was able to shakily stand herself, letting go of Neteyam's cold hand in exchange for Tuk's warm, little one.

Kiri and Lo'ak stood once their mother did so, the latter of the two beckoning their human friend to follow them, "Come on, Spider."

Spider nods and dutifully stands, only to freeze right in his tracks when Neytiri's yellow eyes flick onto him. The entire family froze alongside him, watching Neytiri with caution as if the scene where she held a knife to Spider was still fresh in the back of their minds. Only Lo'ak seemed to be confused, looking around at his family after they had all appeared to turn to stone the moment Spider moved. Spider visibly stopped breathing, a small wave of fear returning when those same eyes he had witnessed become unhinged and animalistic continued to size him up. Neytiri didn't appear as threatening as before, however, now more defeated than enraged in the heat of battle and after the loss of her child. Before, she looked at Spider as a means of killing Quaritch's spirit in exchange for Neteyam's death and Kiri's freedom. Now, she looked at the human boy as if he was a dead pest left in front of her marui.

When Neytiri finally spoke, her voice was no better than Kayla's, hoarse and broken, but still capable of stabbing Spider in the chest like ice, "No. We cannot take him back to the village, or we risk giving away the Metkayina's home to the Sky People."

Lo'ak reared back at his mother's words, immediately defensive, "What are you talking about?"

"We can't just leave him here." Tuk whimpered.

"And we cannot bring him back to the village," Neytiri told her children firmly, still glaring down at Spider, "Or we risk him telling those demons where we are."

"Neytiri--"

Jake's word of warning is interrupted by none other than Spider, the teen's words falling out of his mouth before he could stop them, "Why would you believe I'd do that?"

The world stills and the Sullys are just as equally shocked by him speaking up against Neytiri of all people before he continued without much thought, hurt by her accusation after everything he's been through for her family, "What have I ever done to make you believe I would betray the Na'vi?"

Her yellow eyes simply narrowed, "You've been the demons' prisoner for so long. We don't know what you told them."

"I didn't tell them anything!" He shouts back, but not to be angry or feared. His shout was broken as if he was crying and begging. He was shouting to be heard, to be seen, "I never cracked!"

"Why were they flying ikran?" Neytiri argues back with nothing but more accusations, "Who showed them how?"

"I was buying time for someone to save me!"

"Why would we? You were finally with your own kind!" She shrieked, drawing Spider to pull away and full-body flinch.

"Mom, stop it!" Kiri cried out.

Jake tries reaching out for his wife, "Neytiri..."

Her own yelling had triggered the tears of anguish to return, Neytiri's eyes immediately spilling her grief once more as she looked back at her husband. Jake froze where he stood, feeling as though he was brought back in time as he stared at the same expression Neytiri bore when she first lost her father and Hometree all those years ago, forcing Jake to be reminded of his past mistakes,

"These demons..." she shuddered in hatred and distress, "They learned our ways. They learned the will of Eywa, and yet they still hurt our Great Mother and our children. We can't teach them. They cannot be taught. It's like what my mother told you. It is hard to fill a cup that is already full."

The words were thrown back in his face, Neytiri might as well have slapped him. Jake looked down when he couldn't bear to look her in the eyes anymore, only to fall onto the sight of Neteyam's body nestled safely in his arms as if still an infant. The mental image only drove Jake into biting the inside of his cheek, fresh tears spilling out of his eyes but he refused to release a sound. His left ear twitches at the sound of someone stepping up beside him, his sister's voice coming to his defense.

"'They' are the people Jake and I were born into," Kayla finally spoke up, stepping forward with only a little bit of difficulty no thanks to her ankle. Her eyes were stone when looking directly at her sister-in-law, "You forget that, Neytiri. You forget where Jake and I come from."

"That is different," the Na'vi woman shook her head defiantly, "You've learned to love and respect our ways."

"And Spider has done nothing but love and respect your ways his whole life!" Kayla shouted back, causing all the children around her to flinch and lower their eyes. Neytiri turns to stone, solidifying her stance and refusing to back down. Kayla was huffing out pent-up anger and exhaustion, her voice like gravel as she gritted out, "I've easily killed more people today than Spider ever has in his lifetime. Why am I more deserving of your respect than he is?"

"Enough," all eyes -except for Kayla's- turn to Jake, his own voice broken and not strong enough to command as easily as he's used to. Jake cleared his throat to correct his voice before pointedly staring between Neytiri and Kayla, "You two, not now, please. Kayla... Kayla."

She finally looks away from Neytiri at the sound of her brother addressing her. Jake continued, "Spider was mentioning a tracker in one of the masks he was wearing. This one's different but it wouldn't hurt to be extra cautious. Do you have a spare?"

Kayla shrugs, looking away to continue carefully watching Neytiri while responding, "I might. But if we're really worried about the RDA tracking us down, I'll try to see what I can do to detect a tracker in his mask from here. You guys head back to the village without us. We'll catch up. Jake, you should probably radio High Camp when you get back and let them know what happened."

"You're not breaking your link tonight?"

"I don't want to... I'm needed here right now." When she peered back at Jake, he didn't look very soothed by her response, his eyes full of doubt, aging by the second and so she was quick to reassure him, "It's alright. I was there the other night. I'll just wait until things quiet down here."

The Sullys appear satisfied by her words and begin to move slowly, sluggish and heavy from today's events, their loss still weighing down their postures. Lo'ak and Kiri occasionally looked back at Spider as they departed as if they were worried this would be the last time they ever saw him. Neytiri was the last to break away with her family, her eyes also still wary of Kayla from their little stand-off before the Na'vi woman finally turned her back on the avatar and returned to her ikran. She only took flight until after Jake and the children sunk into the ocean, Jake's tsurak carrying Neteyam's body back to the village.

Once the Sullys had disappeared, all that was left was Kayla and Spider, along with the sounds of distant fire crackling and waves surrounding them. Kayla's ikran squawks irritably, breaking Kayla's trance. The avatar turns to look down at Spider, inspecting him quietly before beckoning him to follow her, "Come with me, kid."

He silently does so, now more exhausted and suspicious than before, guarded as they both walk over to Thena. Spider's eyes briefly light up with that familiar love of Pandora he always openly shared, amazed by Kayla's ikran and impressed with how much the avatar had managed to accomplish in his absence, "She's awesome."

"I wouldn't go telling her that," Kayla snorts while patting Thena's snout and ducking under her neck. Kayla rifles through the pouches she had sewn onto her ikran's saddle until she found what she was looking for, revealing small human tools she had packed for her long journey across the ocean. She was nothing if not careful, and her preparedness was proven useful in this instance.

Spider noticed the tools in her hand and peered up at her skeptically, "You don't have a spare mask, do you?"

"No. But I have tools. I'll try to remove the tracker if there is one."

"Why didn't you just tell Jake you didn't have a spare pack?"

She shrugged nonchalantly, "I thought you needed a break from the interrogation."

He paused, unprepared for that answer. Exuding a look that expressed he felt a little bashful and appreciative, he flashed a small smile before it quickly vanished and he glanced down at his feet while muttering, "Thanks."

"You bet."

Kayla had Spider sit down while she knelt behind him, inspecting his mask and poking and prodding to make sure he'll still be able to breathe while she worked. They sat in silence, the stench of smoke still prominent in Kayla's nose, but she felt relieved to know that Spider wouldn't be able to smell the death and decay around them with a filter in his mask.

Spider fiddled with a pebble in his hands, longingly staring over the ocean while quietly admitting, "I don't wanna go back."

He felt Kayla's hands pause while inspecting his mask, but otherwise couldn't see her reaction as she sighed, "I know you don't. But the RDA knows where you are now."

"They know where I am in the mountains, too." He muttered.

"If there's a tracker in here, I'll disarm it, and you could go back to the mountains and Ardmore will be none the wiser. She'll still think you're here. You'll be safe from all of them... for a little while at least."

"Why does it matter if I go or stay?" Spider questions with a slight jeer, tired from adults continuously telling him they know better than him. He points out the obvious, "They want you and Jake. This place is as much a target as home is."

"Which is why being far from us might be what's best for you. Besides, Ardmore doesn't have the manpower to track us down at the moment. All her Recoms are dead. She won't have any avatars on her side any time soon."

Spider's spine stiffens, his blood running cold. If Kayla had noticed his uncharacteristic silence, she didn't mention it or just coughed it up to the amount of stress and trauma the teen had just gone through. They reverted to silence once more while Kayla worked, and eventually, once she announced that there wasn't any tracker, she almost missed what Spider was saying as the wind began to pick up,

"One. She still has one..."

Kayla's hands pause again and pull away, leaving Spider cold, "Who?"

"Quaritch." His voice caught in his throat and he had to cough, hiding the shame in his hand.

When he bravely turned to see Kayla's reaction, she bore a look of disbelief while looking out in the distance, "But Jake said he--"

Spider shakes his head, "He didn't drown."

He didn't need to elaborate. As the silence lingered, Kayla fit all of the puzzle pieces in her head and figured it out herself. Spider noticed the dawning of realization on her face and panicked over the idea of her leaving him here on this rock, stranded. He immediately began to ramble as the fear of being abandoned took over him, "I'm sorry. I saw him and-- I couldn't leave him. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."

"Spider. Look at me."

When he does so, albeit terrified by her tone of voice, all he sees is determination instead of doubt or disgust. She waited until the kid was looking directly at her before she leveled him with a stern look, "No one can know. Alright? Don't tell anyone else about this. Promise me that this stays between us. I mean it. If anyone else found out, they would definitely send you away, or worse, do you understand?"

He quickly nods, trying to remember to breathe through his panic, but the relief that flowed through him was quickly replaced with dread. The shock wore off and he suddenly realized Kayla was willing to protect him and his secret. His chest squeezed painfully at the thought of the kind of consequences she could go through for something like that.

"Are you mad?"

She took a moment to collect her thoughts before exhaling a deep sigh through her nose and shaking her head, "No. I get it, kid. He's your dad. And... and you gave him something he's never given anyone. Mercy. I hope he doesn't forget that."

Spider's whole form began to shake and when Kayla initially thought he was cold, she looked closer only to realize he was fighting back tears behind his mask, likely shaking from adrenaline and holding back sobs. He lowered his head to hide his face as he whispered, "Please don't let them send me away."

Pity for this child came in full force as Kayla struggled to find the right words. Her thoughts were racing with a war of their own, conflicted about what she should do. The thought of keeping a secret from Jake and his family made her stomach turn uncomfortably, but another part of her knew, deep down, that it was the only solution. Kayla had watched Jake and Neytiri do unspeakable things for the sake of their children, and today alone Neytiri proved she wasn't above harming a child if she thought it would protect her family. As for Jake... Kayla wasn't entirely sure what her brother was capable of anymore, and in her mind, that made him dangerous. She couldn't trust anyone dangerous around Spider if they knew the truth about Quaritch. Besides, it's not like her suspicion of her brother was unwarranted. After all, he wasn't above abandoning Spider when he needed help the most.

"... Alright. I'll try," she decides to quickly change the subject before another word or any regret could be said about her decision, "So do you have any idea how they found us?"

Spider fixed her a small look of doubt before slowly answering, "They only found out where you were when a rogue gunship was spotted coming this way."

Kayla hissed through her teeth, wincing at hers and Norm's stupidity, "Shit."

"But they don't know where the village is exactly-- only that you're among the many islands around in the area," Spider reassured her before curiosity took over, "Why did you guys bring a gunship out here?"

Kayla rolled her lips before answering, "Jake radioed in and begged us to come and find them because Kiri needed medical attention," the moment she saw a shift of concern begin to grow on Spider's face, she held a hand up to stop him before he could ask, "It's okay. She's fine now."

Spider relaxed, replaying Kayla's story before confusion took over, "So wait, you weren't with them the whole time?"

Kayla stiffened, "No. Jake thought it'd be best if I stayed behind."

Deciding not to explain any further, Kayla points down to the cut on his chest, "Let's tend to that. We don't want it to get infected."

At the reminder of the wound, Spider's expression darkens and he simply nods. Kayla grabbed her small trauma kit from one of Thena's pouches and knelt down in front of the human teen this time, inspecting the cut before getting to work. It was superficial, not very deep, just long and thin. Nevertheless, Kayla remembers Neytiri using that same knife to draw blood countless times before using it on Spider... and the avatar woman didn't even want to think about whatever disease or infection Spider would have to suffer on top of the trauma Neytiri likely gave him if it wasn't properly cleaned and dressed. Kayla hadn't missed the way Ronal purposely avoided Spider when going around and healing whoever she could. She only hoped that Spider hadn't noticed... or worse, he did notice but just felt resigned to the usual neglect and mistreatment.

Kayla couldn't imagine what must be going on through Spider's head right now. Having someone's knife to your throat and still begging for Kiri's life instead of your own? Kayla had to wonder if Spider ever had someone who would put him above life itself like that.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

He winced, "No."

"Okay," she immediately shuts down whatever she was going to originally say, "But just so you know, she'll never do that again. I'll make sure of it."

He didn't look as though he believed her, shrugging it off with a small, hesitant smile, "Yeah, okay... It's good to see you, Kayla."

She smiled back, although not as wide or as relieved as she had liked to feel, but no one could blame her after everything she's been through today, "You, too, kiddo. I'm glad you're safe."

Once she's satisfied with how the bandage around Spider's chest will hold, she helps him up onto Thena and forms tsaheylu, hiking herself up onto the ikran's back before taking off to the skies. The fly felt shorter than it initially felt when she first flew out with the Metkayina to fight the Sky People and save the children. Once the village was in sight, Spider's jaw had opened in awe of its beauty, eyes sparkling in wonder. As Kayla descends lower to the ground, she sees the number of Metkayina who had come out to fight. The numbers have dwindled, but for the most part, they were whole and hovered close to the healing huts. Kayla noticed some heads turn up at her arrival but otherwise did nothing. They were either used to the ikrans' presence, or they were too tired to care after such a long battle.

The only time the Metkayina appeared concerned was when Kayla landed Thena on the beach, where all eyes could clearly see the small demon child riding with her. Waves of gasps and whispers can be heard, a crowd slowly beginning to gather but Kayla pointedly doesn't wait or stand around, steering Spider toward the direction of the Sully marui right away to not make the teenager a village spectacle. Spider looked around the village as they walked, but didn't really get a good look at everything with how urgent Kayla was leading him away, despite the pain in her ankle.

But the Metkayina had already gotten a good look at him, and the hushed whispers were already spreading around until they got to their olo'eyktan. Tonowari and Ronal were conversing outside the healing huts when word got to them about a human child among their ranks. When they peered up to see the commotion, they briefly saw a glimpse of the demon boy's blond hair, followed by Kayla, a towering pillar of protection as she quickly led him through the maze of pathways winding through the village, mothers quickly pulling away their children if the demon boy walked too close. It was a curious sight to see someone so small being shielded by another Na'vi so large. Ronal hissed at the sight of Kayla putting weight on her injured ankle but otherwise said nothing.

Tonowari's expression shrivels up to one of concern before promptly turning back to his mate, "Do you remember when I told you Makayla te Suli considers the demon boy her responsibility?"

~~~~~~~~~

When the avatar and teenager got to the edge of the pods, looking out over the lagoon, Spider noticed Jake and Lo'ak sitting outside a marui that must be the Sullys' new home. Toruk Makto looked up once Kayla and the boy drew closer and quickly stood to greet them, Lo'ak quickly following to do the same. The Forest boy beelined for Spider, firmly grasping his friend's shoulder and gently shoving him toward the pod.

"Come on, bro. Kiri's got some food started for you."

Spider follows inside without a word, glancing back at Kayla from over his shoulder before disappearing. Kayla remained outside once Jake made it clear he needed to talk to her.

"I radioed Norm." He explains.

"And?"

"I told him what he needed to know. I..." Jake swallowed and folded his arms, finding it difficult to speak when his throat began to close up, "I couldn't tell him all of it. 'Couldn't tell him about Neteyam. I..."

He was struggling for words without getting all choked up or shutting down. Kayla immediately takes over the talking, placing a hand on her brother's arm, "Jake... it's okay."

He peered up and she offered him a small, sad smile, "You did good. I'll let High Camp know when I eventually have to go back. Or Mo'at will tell everyone. I mean, she is the tsahik. Wouldn't she connect to the Tree of Souls and instantly know?"

He shook his head, "Not if she wasn't looking for something specific."

Kayla's nose scrunches before relaxing. She'll never get used to how Eywa functions at this rate, "Alright. Well, we'll just go with the flow and deal with it once it comes back around. Where's Neytiri?"

"With Neteyam. The Metkayina placed him in a healing hut so she and I could... could..." He cleared his throat, "So we can clean him up and prep for the burial tonight."

"Okay. You go," she whispers gently while tilting her head toward the marui, "I'll stay with the kids."

Jake's eyes were cloudy but grateful, "Thank you."

~~~~~~~~~

As day turned into night, the village began to grow quiet but not because the hour was late. To mourn and respect the loss of their loved ones, the Metkayina either sang the songcords of those who were slain in battle or opted into saying nothing at all. Soon the Na'vi will all leave their respective homes to gather together in a ceremonial send-off, ready to let the bodies of their loved ones return to the ocean and their Great Mother.

The Sullys were among those ready to send their loved one off. By the time Jake and Neytiri returned to their marui, Kayla had the children washed up and prepared for the ceremony. They all -except Spider- bore white face paint, brushed over their skin in a specific pattern to symbolize their loss. Neytiri and Jake also bore white paint, parts of which covered Jake's stitched-up and bruised face now that Ronal had the time to properly heal him. Neytiri bore the same white face paint but also added black around her eyes to signify her tears and grief as a mother, a white, veil-like material hung around her face from the top of her head. No one said anything, but they all noticed a familiar necklace that once belonged to Neteyam now wrapped around Neytiri's neck.

Before going out to join the village, Neytiri started the tradition of singing the deceased's songcord, her fingers counting each bead, and each milestone in Neteyam's short life, all expressed through her song. The lyrics, designed by Neytiri, described her son's life, from birth until recent events, moments that Neteyam deemed worthy to be remembered, recorded as history in his waytelem.

Lie si oe neteyamur Nawma sa'nokur mìfa oeyä Atanti ngal molunge Mipa tìreyti, mipa 'itanti Lawnol a mì te'lan Lawnol a mì te'lan

Ngaru irayo seiyi ayoe Tonìri tìreyä Ngaru irayo seiyi ayoe Srrìri tìreyä Ma Eywa, ma Eywa

The family clings to the song, willing themselves to remember it, before heading out into the village and retrieving Neteyam's body.

He was clean and wrapped to rest in the fetal position, eyes closed as if he was only sleeping. His braids were pulled back and tied into a hairband, a detail of Lo'ak's doing. The Sullys summon ilu and tie a floating leaf-made carrier behind Jake's as a means of transporting Neteyam. The Metkayina all follow the Sullys out to the Cove of the Ancestors, where they lay their dead to rest eternally at Eywa's breast, leaving Neteyam for last. Jake leads his family away from the other Na'vi, who all stay behind to witness the family return their son, brother, nephew, and friend back to the ocean and back to Eywa. Behind Neteyam's carrier was a trail of flower petals, floating on the ocean surface, creating a path of the young warrior's last journey. Once his family reaches the perfect spot to let Neteyam go, they all slip from their ilu and into the water, padding over to the leaf carrier and helping one another get Neteyam out.

Below the surface, toward the bottom of the cove, was a beautiful field of some sort of coral plant, gently moving back and forth against the current like it was wind, glowing like a golden field of grain under the water. Tuk and Lo'ak briefly touch Neteyam's face, one last time, tears still fresh in their eyes, before Neytiri and Jake take deep breaths and plunge underwater, bringing Neteyam down with them. The remaining Sullys and Spider stay on the surface but lower their heads into the water to watch Jake and Neytiri bury their son. Kiri and Spider held hands in comfort while Tuk reached for her aunt's. Kayla gladly holds onto Tuk's hand, gently squeezing it to reassure the child.

Jake and Neytiri dive deep, close enough to reach the fields of glowing coral before finally letting go of Neteyam. They start floating back up to the surface but never once let their eyes leave Neteyam's body as the coral slowly envelopes him, welcoming him with open arms that is Eywa. Lo'ak had to be one of the first to lean back up for air when he accidentally breathed underwater after letting out a mournful cry, and slowly, the rest of his family followed suit, swimming close to one another until all the Sullys huddled together, crying over their loss.

Before they headed back to the village, there was just one last thing Jake and Neytiri needed to do. They sunk back into the water and swam toward the Spirit Tree, intending on seeing Neteyam once more, alive, if only but a memory. Lo'ak and Tuk go with... And for obvious reasons, Spider and Kiri could not follow. The young Na'vi girl had told her dear friend what happened to her after he asked about the medical attention she needed prompting Norm, Max, and Kayla to come out to the ocean. Spider was sad to learn that Kiri was more like him now more than ever, unable to connect with Eywa but Kiri wouldn't listen to his pity. She had only shaken her head and reassured Spider that she would be fine... but this would be proven difficult after burying her brother. Spider felt the same, sad that he was unable to properly say goodbye to Neteyam. But they weren't alone.

Kayla opted to stay with the two teens, astride a separate ilu while Kiri shared hers with Spider. Kiri watched her family depart for the Spirit Tree with a heavy heart, grieving over the fact she couldn't say goodbye to her brother, let alone connect to Eywa, while Spider simply gripped her arm in comfort. When he briefly glances back at Kayla, he sees a woman whose gaze looks far away, distant from the present, not actually seeing anything. She only had one white stripe of face paint down her nose that she had Tuk do to distract the little girl from the events of the day, but otherwise wore the same thing she always wears, her red crop top and cargo shorts, now dirty from a long-winded battle. Given that it was a cool night, she could've worn a jacket... but the one she had packed was burned at the first chance she got, unable to fathom the idea of wearing something caked in her nephew's blood ever again.

Spider tilted his head toward the Spirit Tree, his mask hissing quietly as he breathed, "You should go say goodbye."

Kayla blinked and then returned to the present time, looking over where she had heard Spider's voice. If he had blinked, he would've missed the fast change in expression, her face suddenly morphing into something soft and kind. It was as if she had just placed a mask over her facial features, hiding whatever she was truly feeling behind it. Kiri hadn't noticed, but Spider did.

Kayla shakes her head, "There's time for that later. Come on. Let's wait for them back at home."

~~~~~~~~~

How long had Kayla been on Pandora? Months? Years? It certainly felt like it. If she had to guess, rounding it up, it would be close to two years now. Two years... and finally she understood why the Na'vi could dress so little and still be kept warm at night.

She had never been a part of those group sleeps the Na'vi were so fond of. Now she was nearly in the center of one. That night after all the horror the Sullys had gone through, a group huddle whilst they slept was inevitable, not wanting to let go of each other so soon after losing one.

Kayla was pressed up against Lo'ak's side, the young Na'vi boy curling his whole form into his mother's back as much as he possibly could. Neytiri was trapped between her son and her husband, Jake doing his very best to get his arms around his whole family even in his sleep. Tuk was sprawled over almost everyone like a blanket. She was spread over her parents and snuggling her cold nose around Lo'ak's head, near Kayla's ear. On the other side of Kayla was Kiri, who originally fell asleep and curled close to her aunt but has since moved, and then there was Spider. At first, he had gone to bed a few feet away, giving the family as much space as possible. That is, of course, until Kiri unconsciously turned around, pulled him into her space, and refused to let go. Apparently, Kiri is an aggressive snuggler.

Kayla knew she couldn't move even if she wanted to, trapped by the teenagers on either side of her, and perhaps they had done so intentionally so she couldn't escape to her campsite. It wasn't a bad experience, but she usually needed to toss and turn before getting comfortable, and she was starting to get hot tucked within such a large pile of body heat.

There's a soft whimper of crying in her ear, and when Kayla turns her head, she notices Tuk, her face scrunched up in distress, but still deep in sleep. As the child squirmed and cried unconsciously, her parents also began to stir, and then finally, the other children as well. Once the rest of the Sullys were awake and moving, Kayla wasn't worried about waking anyone when she reached a hand out to touch Tuk's cheek in an attempt to wake her, "Tuk? It's alright, Tuk. Wake up."

Neytiri took the initiative and sat up straight to tend to her child, gathering the little girl up in her arms like she was still a baby. The movement was enough to finally wake Tuk and immediately, she began to openly cry once she recognized her surroundings. Kiri sat up once she heard her sister consciously crying and crawled over Kayla and Lo'ak to get to her, "What is wrong, Tuk?"

Neytiri shushes both of her daughters quietly, "Shh, shh, ma 'itetsyìp. It is alright. Mama is here."

Tuk furiously shook her head as she began to wail, louder and more distraught than before as she cried out, "I want Neteyam! I-- I want Neteyam--"

The whole marui tenses as they all wait for Neytiri's reaction. Understandably, she didn't react well. Neytiri's eyes immediately began to cloud and well up with tears, ears pinning back against her skull. Her pupils flick wildly about, no longer able to focus on the child in her arms. Her breaths were irregular, her mind visibly spiraling out of control. She looked like a cornered animal, trapped without any means of escape.

The first one to move was Kayla, sluggishly moving until she was crouching in front of Neytiri, gently prying poor Tuk out of her mother's arms and into her own. Neytiri breaks out of her trance for a moment, blinking once and taking in the sight of Tuk crying in Kayla's chest. She peers up and nods once in gratitude before swiftly standing and leaving the pod before her children can see another moment of her vulnerability.

Kayla continues to put on a brave face and quietly shush Tuk, gently rocking the little girl until her cries revert to soft hiccups and sniffles. No one else says a word and they try their best to go back to sleep, but the grief is heavy in the air along with worry for their wife and mother. Jake stays awake the whole time Kayla comforts his daughter, watching the entrance of his home with longing and concern. He forced himself to stomp down the urge to run after Neytiri when his role as a father took over. He shifted until he had his arms around Lo'ak and Kiri, whispering words of encouragement and trying to get them to go back to sleep as if they were still little. The teenagers didn't appear to mind being coddled, given the circumstances, and together, Lo'ak and Kiri gathered Spider and decided on sharing a nivi together, off to the side of the pod. Jake watches the teens crawl up into the large hammock together and fall asleep before resuming his post at the entrance of the marui, waiting for Neytiri while occasionally glancing back at Kayla and Tuk. Eventually, even Tuk managed to fall back asleep and Kayla carefully lifted her up and brought the little girl to the nivi to join her siblings. Tuk sleepily clings onto Spider and doesn't move for the rest of the night.

When Neytiri returned, she didn't look any better from when she initially left, her eyes bloodshot with drying tear tracks engraved into her face like the stripes that littered her body. It was chilling to see the mighty Neytiri, fierce and stronger than anyone in her clan, so shattered and forlorn. Jake stood and opened his mouth to soothe her, but she simply shook her head, her face speaking more than words could at that moment. There wasn't anything he or anyone could say that could comfort her right now. Jake read her meaning loud and clear and simply watched as his wife looked around for their children. She saw them all huddled together in their nivi, and she was too tired to comment on Spider being among them. And even if she wanted to, Kayla made sure to distract her long enough to forget about it.

The female avatar gently urged her sister-in-law to lie down and try to rest, and if she was shocked that Neytiri decided on using her leg as a pillow, Kayla didn't mention it. Instinctively, Kayla's fingers weave through Neytiri's braids to calm her as if she were comforting a child. Not wanting to wake her nieces and nephew, Kayla did her best to sing quietly, raspy, as best as she could so Neytiri could hear and understand her. The avatar decided on the lyrics to Neteyam's songcord, and even though it wasn't as practiced or accurate coming out of her voice, it still calmed Neytiri's aching heart.

Singing helped Kayla not to think about it. Instead, it helped her focus on the lyrics and the proper pronunciation. Her accent was still a little shaky and too formal at times, so as she tried to focus and perfect the lyrics, she didn't have to think about the meaning or the child behind the lines and how he had been taken too soon. She sang the whole song and repeated it a few times before she realized Neytiri had fallen asleep, albeit a bit restlessly.

Jake felt utterly helpless while listening to his sister sing to Neytiri, but didn't hesitate to express his gratitude once he noticed his mate had finally begun to rest, "Thank you." He whispered.

Kayla had been helping adjust the sleeping Neytiri until she was lying down on the nearest cot. She simply nodded in response to Jake before lying down further away from the rest of the family and turning her back so she was facing the wall of the marui. The air was significantly colder without any body heat to keep her warm, but she didn't dare move from where she lay. She wanted her much-needed space, where she could cry silently by herself and where no one could see or hear her. She desperately wished she had slept in her own hammock on the outskirts of the village, but she didn't want to leave anyone in her brother's family alone with their thoughts... and a guilty part of her admits that she couldn't afford to leave Spider anywhere near her sister-in-law at this time.

Listening until she was positive that Jake had laid down beside Neytiri for the rest of the night, Kayla let the tears silently flow out of her eyes, biting her cheek to refrain from making any sounds that would give her away. She could feel her body begin to shake. Whether it was from the cold or her pent-up emotions, she wasn't sure. Either way, it would be a long, restless night for Makayla as she lay awake and listened to the sounds of her family around her.

A/N: Can I respectfully ask people to stop flooding my dms and inbox with specific questions regarding the future of the fic? I already know how I want the fic to pan out, and if I answered your questions, it could be spoiling it 😇 You are more than welcome to ask questions regarding past decisions or anything regarding Kayla from her past, but from here on out-- I'm locking down ALL future-related questions! Thank you for understanding.

The second part of this chapter will be out soon! It was mostly written before I was forced to split the chapter in half, so stay tuned!

Check out AI Generated art of Kayla!

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jujutsubaby · 10 months ago

Text

final round (part 1)

☆ pairing: eren x afab!reader ☆ summary: you have a very important interview coming up that basically dictates whether or not you have a job after college. and you're sure you're gonna ace it...as long as your arch-nemesis doesn't have anything to do with the interview... ☆ warnings: 18+, not nsfw in this part but has suggestive themes, former TA/student relationship, eren is kinda mean to you (but you're kind of mean to eren), a hint of power dynamics ☆ a/n: hiiiii my very first blurb on this site ~ yes this is my brain rot from trying to find a new job. also should i do a part 2? i kinda did this to tease the relationship a bit bc i didn't want my very first thing to be smut haha o(≧▽��)o

you hear a ping from your laptop indicating a new email. you read the subject line:

Paradis Labs, Inc Final Interview - Next Steps

you couldn't believe your eyes. your dream company wanted to interview you for their final round and suddenly, you weren't able to even focus on hearing about your best friend sasha's latest hookup at delta phi last weekend.

"hey y/n? you listening? he took me to pound town and back...what's more important than this?" sasha inquired, snapping her fingers in front of your face.

"uhh..i got into the final round interview for paradis labs! AH!" you squealed.

sasha remained seated but elated. "i'm not the least bit surprised. you're the smartest, hottest girl i know after all", she winked. "but wait... doesn't you know who work there now after he graduated..." she trailed off, not wanting to illicit any alarm bells off of you.

you groaned, thinking about you know who. you knew him unfortunately very well in the worst way possible. the guy who was your TA last semester and absolutely crushed you while grading your midterms and finals. not only did he never answer any of your questions during class, he actively ignored you? and would only talk to some sleazy girls he was planning to hit on after the class ended. he had berated your final project, purposefully skipped over you on the waitlist queue multiple times during office hours, and you could've sworn he gave you the wrong advice once on a lab.

eren fucking jaeger.

you groaned just even thinking his godforsaken name out loud. "it's okay sash, paradis labs is like one of the largest companies in the nation. the odds of you know who being my interview is basically slim to none." you surmised unsuspectingly. you always had a way of attracting the worst luck, but you couldn't bear to entertain that for even a second.

~ two weeks later ~

okay, you got this. you've been studying for this final round nonstop for the last two weeks, you thought to yourself as you rode the bus to the elusive paradis lab headquarters. you've turned down every party, every study session, every potential "date" sasha tried to set you up with for this one interview. and you felt great about it.

you arrived at the headquarters 30 minutes early, thanks to your fear of being late, and you started to feel your stomach growling, clearly indicating that the glass of orange juice you chugged before you left was not enough. the smell of freshly brewed coffee hit your nostrils, and you found yourself at the paradis cafe at the lobby of the building you were interviewing at. you ordered your coffee and pastry, but as you're waited, you heard a distant, yet familiar voice in the background. you dared not turn behind you, because you knew if you saw him, your day was fucking over. you know exactly who it was. hell, you could recognize that laugh in a room full of people, easily.

ignoring the mild annoyance, you looked at your watch and started getting anxious. you grew increasingly annoyed and worried about bumping into you know who, and you just wanted to grab your stupid coffee and go upstairs and get this interview over with.

"one iced matcha latte with oatmilk for y/n!" the barista chirped, as you dashed to the front to grab the order. you heard the familiar laughter die down, but as you turned around to beeline to the elevator, someone's torso knocked you out and you spilled your iced matcha all over your freshly dry cleaned blouse and someone else's shirt.

"oh my god, i'm SO sor-", you stopped cold. wait, no. it's not just anyone's shirt i spilled coffee on. no it can't be-

"hey, doofus", eren glared. you detected a hint of playful mischief in his dark eyes, but it went away almost immediately. were his eyes always so mesmerizing? stop, what the fuck, don't think that! "always makin' a fuckin' mess, are we?"

you rolled your eyes. this could not be happening to you. matcha stained blouse, and you were hungry, and the worst person you knew was here. "fuck off, asshat", you retorted. "i literally have a meeting in 10 minutes and i look like a fucking idiot because of you."

"for what it's worth, you always looked like a fucking idiot." eren said.

you flipped him off before you beelined to the elevator, aiming to head to the change room immediately. you didn't have an extra blouse, but you were wearing a sleeveless black shirt underneath, which hid the stain well but it was a bit tight. even you had to admit your boobs looked amazing in it. tucking it into your loose grey slacks, you stepped outside the washroom and composed yourself. your interview was in 3 minutes, but you could do this. you knew you can. you passed eren's class last year, and that was with his ass constantly throwing you curveballs. this was nothing.

you entered the waiting room for the interview, waiting your name to be called in. shortly, a dark haired man wearing a white shirt and black slacks called you in. "y/n? there you are." he said nonchalantly as his narrowed in on you. "come into my office, please." as you walked next to him, you realized he's way shorter than he looked from across the waiting room.

"i'm levi, and i'll be conducting your interview today. please take a seat." he motioned to the chair across his table.

"hi levi. i'm y/n. i just want to say that i am so grateful to have had this opportunity to come onsite and be interviewed by some of the most magnificent minds of our-" you're interrupted by a loud phone call coming from levi's desk.

"i apologize miss y/l/n. let me just quickly answer that. they should know i'm in the middle of interviewing candidates..." he said, sounding slightly annoyed by the phone call.

he answered it, and you heard him groan and say "i'll be right there. send him to my office to take over." he looked over at you, partially annoyed and partially apologetic about the fuss happening. "i apologize. some brat fucked up the program we were releasing today, and now i have to clean up some one's mess." he pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing deeply. you thought you heard him say that he's going to fire the brat at the end of the say.

"someone else will be coming to conduct the interview, but don't worry. he can be a bit much, but he's unfortunately one of our best recent hires in a while. i'm sure you'll be in good hands." levi said, before he grabbed his stuff and headed to the work emergency.

you were left a bit confused, but ultimately grateful that you had more time to calm yourself down after what happened in front of the cafe. out of all the people who work here, why did you have to run into him. you just can't catch a fucking break can you? you thought to yourself.

as if right on cue, levi's office door opened, and your thoughts were interrupted by the person who once again, occupied an unnecessary amount of thoughts in your head. your jaw dropped, and you practically had to stop yourself from yelling at the universe for this sick, cruel twist of fate that destiny was putting you through.

eren fucking jaeger.

you heard him chuckle deeply. "oh, this is going to be so much fun." eren smirked, his eyes staring at you deeply. he looked at you up and down, and suddenly, you really wished you hadn't taken off your blouse in the changing room, feeling suddenly exposed in this tiny hot (hot? when did this office get hot?) office.

you took a deep shaky breath and buried your head in your hands, groaning and letting out all of the bad emotions you were holding in. "eren, if you're just going to flunk me on this interview, just tell me right now. i'll go home and we'll both just move on." you pleaded. what else can you even do at this point? you should've known this interview was over the minute you heard his stupid laugh in the cafe.

"woah there, slow down doof," he said teasingly. he moved in front of you, partially sitting on levi's (quite expensive) mahogany desk. "you can't just leave an interview before it even started. and who said i was gonna flunk you on this? do you reaaaally think i'd do something like that?"

"umm, you literally did! last year on my midterm, stupid", you yelled exasperated. you were trying hard to keep your cool and calm disposition, but eren always loved to test your limits.

eren pretended to think about it for a second before he shook his head. "nope, doesn't ring a bell. anyway, first question of this interview: why do you want to work at paradis labs?" he asked.

"well, if you must know, i-", you started, before being interrupted by eren.

"i actually don't care. i don't know why anyone asks that." eren laughed, eyes skimming over the files on levi's desk. oh, you could slap him right now. your patience was wearing thin. "hm, well look at this here. your resume says you took a chemical engineering lab last year with professor zeke.?" he asked, knowing damn well the answer was yes. he tried to hold back the smile he had while he watched you visibly tighten up at the sound of the class. "care to tell me about that?"

"not really since you were my TA for that class and went out of your way to almost fail me." you retorted back, fuming at what was happening. no way was he trying to bring this shit up in the middle of an interview. but you were not backing down from this fight. it had been a long time coming. i'm not getting the job anyway at this point. might as well go out cursing eren while i'm at it, you thought to yourself.

"god, i don't know why you think that," he mused teasingly. "if anything, i helped make sure the other stricter TAs didn't grade your work. i dunno where you're getting this idea i hated you." he shrugged. you could swear he almost sounded...honest while saying the last part.

"oh wow, you're really too kind," you said sarcastically as you rolled your eyes. where does this guy get off?

"no, really y/n. i'm being serious," eren said earnestly. a slight genuine smile formed on his lips.

wait, is he? also, why is his smile so...cute? no, stop it, y/n! compose yourself! you quickly snapped out of your thoughts.

"you also ignored me every single time i came to your office hours and every time i came to your lab for help. you literally helped every single girl but me", you accused. you didn't mean to sound harsh and annoyed, but deep down, you felt your chest tighten up and you didn't know why. who cares if he helped other girls, he hates your guts anyway. why were you feeling so sour about it?

"don't give me that shit. i didn't help you because you were the cutest girl in lab and i couldn't make it seem like i was being inappropriate." he said without skipping a beat. eren wasn't sure what made him say it, but it was true.

your eyes snapped to him, and you felt heat rise to your cheeks, and you momentarily forgot what you were even doing here as your head felt dizzy all of sudden. no way you just heard what you thought you heard. you jaw fell and you were at a loss of words to respond. "i...uhh...well.." cough. "um, o-o-okay..." you trailed off, desperate to find the words to respond to eren. you thought back to your class lat year with eren. was he ever really that mean to you? or were you just a bit desperate to do well in an important class? no, wait, he's just being asshole.

"well, if you liked me so much why did you hook up with those sorority girls after the semester ended?" you said incredulously. this was some big fucking joke and you were not going to lose this game.

"oh c'mon, y/n. don't act like you never had a one night stand before." eren explained, his voice lacking any hint of teasing or malice. "besides, you were the only one on my mind, anyway...", eren whispered under his breath so lowly that you weren't able to make out what he said.

well, actually, you haven't ever had a one night stand like that. in fact you never actually...had sex with anyone before. you've always been too focused in school to really date around, and the most action you've gotten was hearing about sasha's escapades. and you sure as hell weren't going to let eren know that.

"umm...well...", you said as you flustered your words. you took a bit too long to compose yourself and respond, which was all eren needed to connect the dots.

"oh shit. y/n...are you a virgin?"

"u-umm...of course not...i-i just...i just never found...or had the time...", you dropped your gaze. that's it, eren had just found his trump card, after he played the cruelest joke on you. you couldn't even think of a witty one liner like you usually did to get out of something like this. you were tired and shocked by eren's confession (which you didn't even believe fully). and not only that, but you were talking about your v-card with your worst enemy.

"hey, hey, hey, it's okay. i'm sorry, y/n. i shouldn't have brought it up, that was weird. and...", eren trailed off. he wasn't sure what to say next, but he said it earnestly and honestly. "i'm sorry for treating you like shit when i was your TA, and i'm sorry for bumping into you and spilling your matcha all over us," even though eren would've done it again if it meant he could see you in the form fitting top you currently have on, but he dared not to comment on that.

you sighed, partially out of relief and partially because you felt vindicated through his apology. your eyes glanced up to his, and both of your gazes softened. "so, you really do like me?" you teased eren, finally cracking a slight playful smile and releasing the tension in the atmosphere.

"shut the fuck up and don't make me say it again, doofus." eren mumbled, as he leaned closer into you. your heart started beating faster and you swear even eren could hear the pounding in your chest as you sucked in a deep shaky breath. you didn't mean to break eren's gaze and look at his lips, but you did and eren noticed. his smile curved up slightly as he leaned closer to you. you felt his hot breath near you lips, and just as his lips were about to crash into yours, the door bursted open to a slightly disheveled levi.

eren immediately snapped back to leaning on levi's desk, and you let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding. you prayed that levi could not see how flushed you looked or the goosebumps on your arm.

"how did the interview go?" levi asked eren.

eren gave a quick warm glance to you before he said, "y/n did great. answered every question with ease. i think we should extend an offer." you noticed the slightest hint of a smile in eren's professional demeanor, but you were more surprised that he'd do this for you. bit by bit, you felt your hard shell crumbling for eren, and you wondered how you will survive working at paradis labs after graduating.

eren walked you back to the elevator, his hand lightly touching the small of your back as guided you across the hallway. "well, i guess i look forward to working with you and picking back up where we started." eren said with a wink.

you turned around and touched eren's shirt, softly tracing the matcha stain you gave him. "hm, maybe i'll start off my first day dumping coffee on you first thing in the morning." you playfully teased, your breath accidentally hitching as you realized his chest was way harder than you expected it to be. oh my god, no way he's actually built under the shirt. embarrassed, you quickly buried that thought deep where it came from.

"hm, maybe i'll take you to the bathroom and make you help me clean it up," he replied, his eyes filled with warmth and invitation. something that was new to you, but you weren't complaining.

god, you couldn't wait to graduate.

#attack on titan #aot #snk #shingeki no kyojin #eren x reader #eren yeager #eren jaeger #eren x y/n #eren jeager x reader #eren aot #eren yaeger x reader #eren yaeger aot

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cr33p-a-z01d · 1 month ago

Note

OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS TOOK FOREVER BUT IM SO DAMN HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT THIS CAUSE I LITERALLY NEVER HAVE GOTTEN TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT CAUSE NO ONE IS INTERESTED BUT AHHH NOW I GET TO SHARE THE USELESS KNOWLEDGE IN MY BRAIN!!!

Dream Theater – Metropolis, Pt. 2: Scenes From a Memory A DEEP DIVE

DISCLAIMER THIS IS ALL THEORY BY MY INTERPRETATION OF THE CONCEPT ALBUM --- NONE OF THIS IS NESSACARILLY RELATED TO THE ORIGINAL STORY OF THE CONCEPT ALBUM --- But like that's kinda of the point of a concept album is to well have it have a set storyline --- but parts are up for interpretation.

SECONDARY DISCLAIMER --- I did skip quite a lot of songs on the album as some --- While yes, have a part to the story --- Don't have enough, and if I included them this would take like 30 years. So it's the songs with the most set-in-stone information. As the others are more up for interpretation. BUT ALL THE SONGS ARE STILL VERY IMPORTANT TO THE STORY!! This is just to help understand

I have been thinking about this for years lol, but recently for the 25-year anniversary they dropped a PROFESSIONAL FUCKING NOVEL ON IT!!! It's coming out this month I'm so excited to read it and see what the album's story really was in contrast to how I interpreted it!!

LASTLY BEFORE CHECKING THIS OUT OR AFTER CHECK OUT THE ALBUM!!

HERE IS A LINK TO ONE THATS JUST THE SONGS MENTIONED IN THE ESSAY

Dream Theater – Metropolis, Pt. 2: Scenes From a Memory

Nicolas is a young man. He keeps having these dreams, where he’s this girl. He feels like he is her; or was her. It’s affecting his everyday life – These dreams feel so real to him that he feels attached to them. So he decides it's in his best interest to go see someone to help him decipher these dreams.

Nicolas goes to see a hypno therapist — and that starts off our album.

Queue – Act I: Scene One: Regression

Nicolas is told to close his eyes and relax.

“Concentrate on your breathing–

–Imagine a brilliant white light above you”

“You will enter a safe place where nothing can harm you. –

– If at any time you need to come back, all you must do is open your eyes.”

He is now in his “dream space” It's like he's watching his past life on a screen – A girl named Victoria.

Queue – Act I: Scene Two: I. Overture 1928

It’s a strange sensation – A pleasant nightmare. Another whole life waiting for him; There’s a house that he’s drawn to, and he recognizes it. It doesn't feel new.

There's a room at the top of the stairs, he’s drawn up there. There's a girl in the mirror and he asks her. “Young child won’t you tell me why I’m here?!” He saw it in her eyes — He gained control of his past life – he could now find out what happened to him through watching her memories.

From here on out I’m going to refer to Nicolas as Victoria. Cause right now it's her story that is important. It's like he’s watching a movie and Victoria is the main character but Victoria is his past self.

Queue – Act I: Scene Four: Beyond This Life

— Victoria was a young girl, involved with two. —

------------------------------------

HEADLINE: Murder, Young Girl Killed.

“Desperate shooting at Echos Hill,

dreadful ending, killer died; evidently

suicide.”

A witness heard the horrifying sound – He ran to find a woman dead and Lying on the ground.

Standing by her was a man, “Nervous, shaking, gun in hand.”

Witness says he tried to help but he had turned the weapon on himself — His body fell across that poor young girl. After shouting out in vain, the witness ran to call for assistance.

A sad close to a broken love affair…

------------------------------------

Police assumed that Victora had fallen for a man while already being committed to another. She tried to keep it secret but it seemed her ex-boyfriend did indeed know.

Victoria was on a date, in a park near her ex-boyfriend's house, on the night of her death; She wanted to be with the other man. Not him. So he fell into an evil way, but she had to let him down.

“She said, ‘I can't love a wayward man’”

She may have found a reason to forgive her ex-boyfriend for being how he is; If he had only tried to change…

Was their fatal meeting prearranged?

Had a violent struggle taken place?

There was every sign that led there

Witness found a switchblade on the ground

Was the victim unaware?

They continued to investigate

They found a note in the killer's pocket

It could have been a suicide letter

But the police couldn’t be so wrong. — Victoria was involved with two men. — She cheated on her boyfriend; Julain. for another man; Edward. cause Julian wasn’t what she wanted. They broke up and she went to be with Edward.

Things were good! She was happy — For a little… Until she realized he wasn’t what he seemed to be. Abuse maybe? We don’t know. — Sometime after she did so, she ran into Julian. She had realized he was who she really wanted. So she hopes to reconcile with him and maybe have another chance. She tells him she's single.

Queue – Scene Nine: Finally Free

Victoria: “You know I’m really feeling good this Friday afternoon, I ran into Julian he said we should get together soon! He’s always had my heart he needs to know, I’m going to leave Edward. It’s time for him to go.”

Victoria met with Julian that night in secret; Without Edward knowing. Julian took her to a park late at night. I believe that they were drinking. They had made up; Julian and Victoria were back together. He had forgiven her.

Victoria thought she was safe, she was planning to break it off with Edward so it would do him no harm if he didn’t know…

If he didn’t know…

A yell;

Edward, his heavy footsteps nearing.

Victoria gasps

Edward punches Julian in the throat.

A bottle smashes, and things are breaking.

Edward pulls out a gun causing Julian to scream

Edward shoots Julian twice and he collapses

Victoria closes her eyes and starts screaming

Edward tells her to open her eyes.

Shooting her twice before running away.

Edward killed Victora, but Julian didn’t commit suicide. The police were so wrong… But the evidence pointed that way. — The suicide note? — Let's now go into Edwards's mind. See what he has done.

“Friday evening… The blood is still on my hands…To think that she would leave me now, for that ungrateful man. But I’m the sole survivor and there's no witness to the crime…I must act fast to cover up… I think that there's still time. Julian would seem hopeless and lost with this note, the cops will buy into the words that I wrote.”

-------------------------------------

“This feeling inside me, I finally

found my love I've finally broken free.

I’m no longer torn in two; I'd take

my own life before losing you…”

-------------------------------------

Edward heads back to the crime scene and slips the note into Julians pocket before calling the cops. When the cops arrived he told this story. It made headlines you heard it before!!

--------------------------------------------------

HEADLINE: Murder, Young Girl Killed.

“Desperate shooting at Echos Hill,

dreadful ending, killer died; evidently

suicide.”

A witness heard the horrifying sound – He ran to find a woman dead and Lying on the ground.

Standing by her was a man, “Nervous, shaking, gun in hand.”

Witness says he tried to help but he had turned the weapon on himself — His body fell across that poor young girl. After shouting out in vain, the witness ran to call for assistance.

A sad close to a broken love affair…

--------------------------------------------------

Back to our main man Nicolas who is the reason we even get to know this amazing story. He now knows the full story — How he had died. He had learnt about by living through Victora. Now he can live the rest of his life putting him to peace and Victoria’s spirit to rest.

He believes they’ll meet again someday soon…

“Open your eyes Nicolas.” — Nicolas regains his conscience after learning what he needs to. He exits the Hypno Therapist's office and goes to his car. The thing about this kind of treatment he took, you tell what you’re seeing out loud. That Hypno Therapist heard everything… He knows everything… Not like that would matter, it’s the man's job!

Nicolas Drives home, not realizing he was being followed. As Nicolas exits his car and goes to open his apartment door a man appears behind him. The Hypno therapist; Edward in the past life. — Again it is up for interpretation but I believe that this means that its a cycle. Victoria was always supposed to die, No one was supposed to know it was Edward. But unlucky for Edward. Victoria's new body was near him. But no one could ever know not even in this life. – Edward was always meant to kill Victora no matter what universe.

WOAH THATS A LOT

tgats so cool HEHDBEHHEHD

im being forces to go to church so I will read that after

#I hate church 😔#mikey answers things

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whisperingrockandroll · 1 year ago

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WR&R MYSTERY KIDS LORE & WORLDBUILD MASTER POST

Gear up, kids, because this will be a long one.

It's been a while since I posted a new comic. Pretty soon there'll be a bunch, because I've been sitting on a mountain of scripts and just started making progress on actually making them into comics. I wanna build up a nice little backlog that I can queue up and not worry about for a long while. In the meantime though, I have something I hope will tide you guys over.

There's been a problem with my comic from the very beginning I've never really thought to address for years, and until now, I never found a good place for it. That problem is "worldbuilding." Originally when this comic started out, it was just a Psychonauts comic. Then I got into Mystery Kids, and the MKs just showed up out of nowhere.

If you're still interested, click under the cut. If you already find this post boring and kind of long, just skip it.

We never got any information on how the Mystery Kids club started or how they all met. For the longest time, I kind of just defered to the collective fandom's various disorganized headcanons and ideas and stuff. But I think enough time has passed that those ideas have all changed, been forgotten about, or branched off into their own individual works.

So, it's finally time for me to fix that by giving this comic its own set of lore and backstory. In this post I'm going to explain how everything happened, how the kids came together and what order everything happened in. This is kind of written for my own personal amusement, but also as a guide to keep in mind when I'm writing new stories in this setting, to keep things consistent.

PART ONE: THE CANON HISTORY

The first step for this little exercise is to figure out when all the stuff in the original "canon" happened. This is where things get a little messy, because we have to figure out a proper order for everything so all the pieces can fit into place.

First, we have to come up with a system for naming the different eras and phases where things happen, so we can more easily compartmentalize the different events. So we'll call the first year the Mystery Kids are together "Year One." Anything before that we'll call Year -1 or -2.

Year -2 is where we'll put the events of Paranorman. They happen in Fall, around Halloween probably. Nearly the end of the year. It's important to set this part the furthest back for reasons we'll get into later.

Year -1 is where we'll put Coraline and Psychonauts. Dipper and Mabel are still in Pidemont. There are a few references in the comic to Raz still having a water problem due to "the curse." But in PN2 he conquers the curse. We'll chock that up to lingering after-effects and him trying to get past the mental block.

Near the end of Year -1, Aggie returns and reunites with Norman in events identical to how they played out in Ask-Norgatha. A lot of things that happen are very similar to that old blog, with the exception being Norman and Aggie don't get together. That comes later.

Year 1 is when Gravity Falls happens. Coraline and Norman are family friends (or cousins? I haven't decided, maybe not. Maybe 'honoary cousins'?) Anyway, so: things play out pretty much how they did in that fan episode people made. Doctor Loboto (during a villainous relapse, or a manic episode) comes to Gravity Falls, Raz and Lili chase after him, Coraline and Wybie come with Norman's family on a vacation to Gravity Falls. Aggie stays behind because Norman doesn't want her to get lost. At this point, her Poltergeist powers haven't kicked in yet and other people can't see her, meaning she'd have no way to get home.

So, during Loboto's shennanigans, the kids all come together to stop him. That's when we move into…

PART TWO: THE FANON HISTORY

Note: in this period, my comic has a lot of Holiday specials. We're operating on Peanuts rules here, where the time-scaling slides around to keep the characters from aging. But we'll say in the "real" canon, the stuff that happens on Holidays actually happen on regular days, for the most part. If things "have to" happen on a Holiday, they'll all happen on the same one, just at different times. We'll try not to think too hard about this, because it's just a cartoon. We're out to make a consistent world, but not to arbitrarily restrict ourselves. None of this stuff happened in the "real" world anyway.

Anyway, moving right along to the rest of "Year 1." This is for the comics I made while the show was still airing, so things all kind of click together.

This is where the first Mystery Kids Adventure happens. The kids are all united and save the day. All of this happens right in the middle of the events of Gravity Falls. From then on out, the kids have adventures together on and off, but its a little hard because they have to travel a pretty great distance to hang out together. They keep in touch on social media and stuff, occasionally finding ways to fake excuses to go out and travel together. But mostly, the group is pretty disorganized.

Dib is also a mindless fanboy of the group and wants to join, but everybody thinks he's weird and annoying, so they try their best to politely blow him off. Then he builds a teleporter that lets the kids get together easier, but the thing just barely works. Dib is made a "junior member" and just sort of hangs around.

The kids have a "clubhouse", but it's just a shanty shack built by Soos, half a mile away from the Mystery Shack.

At some point during this period, the Bedlam returns and the kids have to team up to stop her. Aggie helps somehow with her newly-emerging poltergiest powers. The Bedlam is defeated, and that's the last "real" adventure they have for a little while. They don't have a reliable way to meet up anymore, so they only get together for parties and stuff. This is where the Season 3 Finale happens, if you've read my archives.

PART THREE: THE CURRENT SITUATION

From Season 4 and onwards, everything that happens to the Mystery Kids happens in Year 2. That's where we are now.

It starts with Dib on one of his own little adventures. Somehow, he ends up stumbling on an abandoned treehouse that used to belong to the Kids Next Door. It hasn't been populated in years, but its full of still-functional tech that just got left behind. With it, Dib's able to power-up the teleporter technology and now the Mystery Kids can come together whenever they want. You need to stand perfectly still for like five minutes for the teleporter to work, so it isn't a "get out of danger free" plot device.

Seems like a REALLY important development to happen offscreen and go totally unmentioned, right? Well… I thought of it retroactively, so, whoops! But it's fine. We'll just have to make a flashback comic later where the kids find it.

So, from now on, everything that happens in the comic happens here, in Year 2.

If you've read this far, I'd like to thank you for humoring my nonsensical fanfiction ramblings for my silly mspaint webcomic. I hope you had fun and got as much out of that as I did. I'm really happy I was finally able to put it all together in one coherent place.

#Mystery Kids #Psychonauts #Gravity Falls #Coraline #Paranorman #Invader Zim #Long Post #Lore Dump

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idontknowreallywhy · 2 years ago

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Best Jupidad Moments #6 Nevermoor Ch 9 - What’s Really Important?

Right, I’m not going to lie, I’m struggling to differentiate between “the best Jupidad moments” and “ALL the Jupidad moments” as each one has its particular charm but… I’ll try to rein myself in!

First: trying exciting new things…

The bone-shaking terror she’d felt watching the platform speed towards her was washed away by a wave of adrenaline, and she let out a triumphant shout as they hooked on to the rail. Jupiter grinned, throwing his head back to enjoy the ride.

I especially love this moment right now because I recently took my daughter on her first proper rollercoaster ride. She wanted to do it, to start with, but got herself very worked up and tearful in the queue. Part of me wanted to just say “ok fine, we don’t have to do this today” but I feel like I know her fairly well(!) and I was sure she’d enjoy it and also be really proud of herself for facing her fear and going through with it. So instead I said “we’re going to do it, I think you’ll love it but if not it’ll be less than a minute, you’ll be safe and I’m with you and we never have to do it again”. Thankfully she did love it, but I did question myself and my parenting a lot in that queue!

Our Jupidad is making a similar call, albeit without the assurance of physical safety cos… Nevermoor… and sure enough this becomes one of Morrigan’s favourite things about living in the city. Did he know for sure she wouldn’t hate it? No. But he pushes her to try anyway.

I also suspect he’s running distraction here - she’s nervous about the garden party, so he gives her something else to focus on, where she gets a big old shot of adrenaline and arrives at the party thinking “wow, I did that!” which should take the edge off the nerves at least a little. Clever Jove.

He also lets her choose her own outfit, rather than forcing her into something that would make her either blend in with everyone else’s pastel vibe, or match his own flamboyant style…

… filled with people in light linen suits and pastel dresses. Jupiter had allowed Morrigan to choose her own outfit – a black dress with silver buttons, which Dame Chanda declared ‘smart, but utterly lacking in spectacle’. Morrigan thought Jupiter’s lemon-yellow suit and lavender shoes provided enough spectacle for both of them.

I think this is a pretty big deal actually and perhaps not something Morrigan would have foreseen after the “black isn’t a colour” conversation. Would it have been kinder to have said “I think everyone else will wear something more spring-ish”? It might have saved her from a couple of insults from Noelle… but the two of them were likely to clash anyway and isn’t it better to start making new friendships by being yourself? It’s easy to want to protect a child from getting splashed by social waves, but if you coddle them too much they won’t learn to swim in the sea.

There are some waves, however, that nobody should take to the face. Like raw sewage, radioactive waste, or Baz Charlton…

He was cut off by a sharp look from Jupiter, his mouth left hanging open. ‘Consider your next words carefully, Mr Charlton,’ Jupiter said in the low, cold voice that Morrigan had heard from him only once before, on Eventide at Crow Manor. She shivered.

Baz Charlton closed his mouth. Jupiter stepped aside, releasing the long-haired man from his gaze and allowing him to stumble away. He sighed as he smoothed down his yellow suit and gave Morrigan’s shoulder a quick squeeze. ‘Told you. Odious man. Pay no attention.’

I really want to know what the deal is with Jupiter’s low, cold voice because it really freaks everyone out! I wonder how often he uses it other than in Mog-defence-mode? It’s a very effective way of protecting Morrigan here and although I think we’d all like to see Baz dropped from a great height into a skip, I really appreciate how there’s no physical threat used.

Enjoying yourselves?’ Jupiter wandered over with a placid smile, ignoring the stream of servants rushing past with nets and brooms. Morrigan chewed the side of her mouth guiltily. ‘A bit.’

Ha, I love the image of that smile where he knows exactly what’s gone on here. I also adore the fact that Morrigan has somehow befriended the one child out of 500 who is probably the most like Jupiter was at school 😅

Plus the moment of mirroring later when she asks Jove a question she knows the answer to:

‘I’m here illegally, aren’t I?’

Jupiter chewed the side of his mouth. ‘A bit.’

How do they debrief later? Not with a “so, what did you think of Wunsoc?” but…

‘You made a friend.’ ‘I think so.’

‘Anything else of interest?’

Morrigan thought for a moment. ‘I think I made an enemy too.’

‘I didn’t make my first proper enemy until I was twelve.’ He sounded impressed.

Oh poor Morrigan, you’re going to rack up a few of those pretty soon. Thanks to Jupidad for making that sound like an achievement rather than a character flaw 😬

‘Promise you’ll think about it?’

‘Only if you promise you’ll stop thinking about not getting into the Society.’

‘But if I don’t get in—’

‘We’ll blow up that bridge when we come to it.’ Morrigan sighed. Just give me a straight answer, she thought. But she said no more.

Jupiter ushered Morrigan down the hall ahead of him. ‘Now. Tell me more about your resourceful new friend. Where in the Seven Pockets did he find a barrel full of toads?’

And just like that he brings it back round to what should be important to an 11 year old - friends, having fun, new experiences - and sharing the excitement of these things with a parental figure is such a precious and vital part of the relationship. Jupiter proves he is as interested in these details of her life as much if not as more than the big picture “what does the future hold, what is my purpose?” kind of stuff that threatens to take over.

This is maybe my favourite thing about Jupidad - how he constantly values her as a person (and as part of that her everyday life experience) above everything else, even though he is confronted with the BIG thing that makes her particularly important to the world every single time he looks at her.

#nevermoor #jupidad #jupiter north #morrigan crow #feel free to add your thoughts or any moments I missed!#parenting lessons from fiction #The Deucalion also hits a similar parenting high with that jelly sculpture painting fwiw

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weird-and-unwell · 8 months ago

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Boy do I have opinions here.

So some of this is cultural. Where I live the accessible stall is a separate room. It's not always perfect, obviously. My one at work has no soap or way to dry your hands, and always 4-6 bins and at least one is in the way so I have to navigate both my wheelchair and whichever giant ass bin they've stuck in my way.

But typically, this room has: a larger space, enough so that I remember my grandfather (had a power chair) and his carer would usually be able to get in (again, sometimes not big enough, but in my personal experience usually is, if a bit tight at times); an emergency cord in case you fall, which has to reach the floor at all times; at least one handrail, although the better ones have at least one on each side (I prefer to transfer from the left so I can use my better leg to help push me over, so both sides is always a relief); a sink next to the toilet, alongside suitable drying stuff (unless you're my workplace ig); bins suitable for sharps and medical waste; and usually, but again, not always, different door handles (sometimes opens electronically), a lighter door in general, easier-to-use sink handles etc...

The point is, this is something my country usually does eh fairly well. Currently we're trying (have been for a while) to get more to have adult changing tables. Some places do, but most don't. And there's only ever one, which...is often a pain. So I'm not gonna say it's perfect or amazing, because it sure isn't if you need an adult changing table.

Now, some of these, courtesy of issues with abled people being unable to be normal about disabled people (including abled people freaking out over invisible disabilities), are locked. I have a special key that lets me access them, and if I forget it, I have to go find someone to open it. I have had times when I've been unable to, and hence unable to use the toilet.

I think it's seen differently elsewhere, but generally, due to it being seperate, it's typically understood that you don't use it unless you need it. Whilst yeah we sometimes need the keys because abled people are ableist, usually it's considered rude if you go "eh there's a queue I'd rather skip" or "eh but it's free so why not".

But frankly even in stalls, what I'd love people to understand is that I don't care! Nope, even if there's a queue and it's the only one available! I've seen "oh but disabled people can wait like everyone else" and oh boy...

First of all, for all you know, by the time they get there, there could be multiple stalls free but they have to wait and wait, possibly repeatedly having to explain to people "no, I need this stall" (something I had to do myself once, back when I needed the one stall with a handrail but wasn't yet visibly disabled), possibly having accidents etc, all because some abled person decided they didn't want to wait an extra minute or two.

But secondly...a lot of us can't wait. For me personally, my autism means I can't tell when I need to pee. So either I go frequently at set times, or (more commonly) I forget to do it, and have a sudden realisation that I'm about 2 minutes max away from wetting myself. One of my medications has a side effect of bowel incontinence. Ever had to sit in your own waste waiting for a bathroom to be available, abled people? And there's so many more people out there whose disabilities result in similar issues of "need the toilet asap, cannot afford to wait for an abled person who decided it was chill to use this one stall anyways".

Maybe I'm more pressed about this issue because I can't wait. But frankly if I had to sit there in my own waste, hoping nothing has leaked onto my wheelchair, and that nobody else can smell it, then I think I'm allowed to get pissed off that someone who doesn't need the stall decided to use it anyways.

(Also an important side note: it's abled people doing this that contributes to the invisibly disabled being judged for using them. Visibly disabled people start to get on edge because maybe this person is just not visibly disabled, but maybe they're another abled person who thinks it's no biggie. And ableds think you're like them. I will always, always, assume someone using the disabled toilet is disabled, but abled people going "yeah no I'd use it happily" is a big part of why that suspicion exists.)

Anyways yeah, some of us need that toilet, you can't always tell who it is that needs it, so if you don't need it, leave it be.

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

#discourse #not at the person i'm reblogging this from #but i know this can become discourse so

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lgcjinyoung · 9 months ago

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「 personal youtube channel ⇛ a different form of grind 」

since it had been a while that jinyoung opened his channel, he felt like wanting to branch out with his content a little bit. now that he began creating videos where he sat in front of his pc as well, the male figured that it couldn't hurt to attempt himself at a video of him grinding a big of solo Q in league of legends.

so the video begins with him in his gaming chair, glasses on his nose and waving at the camera like the goof he was. "hello gym rats. since I keep emphasizing how important rest days are in between your workout routines, I'm going to show you today how I spend mine. so instead of hitting the gym after a day of schedules- i game!"

"the tricky part is to remind yourself to stretch regularly though, or your muscles will cramp up and get sore- and since you want to rest them, that's the opposite of what we want to achieve." he boots the game up, the set up one he actually figured out himself and quite happy with his simple but compact layout. "I play a lot of games but I like league of legends because I can pace myself well and take a stretch after every game," he reasons.

"they usually go from 30 minutes to an hour so I can do one, two games and then stretch," the model continues on as he queues himself up, silently wondering how many friend requests he'd get once this goes live. throughout the video he does his best to explain how the game works, what role he plays, what his champ does and what rank he currently is. a humble diamond 2, due to the lack of time he invests in playing the game.

and true to his word he includes a section where he shows his stretching routine in between games, being thorough in his explanation and execution to stay on brand with his original intended content. he concludes the video ultimately with a final victory, arms stretched above his head with a tired groan.

"okay. i think that was enough de-stressing for now. it's time for dinner now. make sure not to skip meals, even on rest days! i'll see you back on the next video. goodbye~" and with a wave to the camera the scene fades to black, concluding this episode of muljjingi's gym.

#yt: muljjingi's gym #lgc:personalchannel #solo: snapshot;

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pageadaytale · 1 year ago

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FALLEN STAR | Part 5: Counting

We're introducing some supporting characters in this entry. It skips a little ahead in the story.

A hand placed the coin down, balanced on its edge, and almost carelessly an errant finger flicked it into a lazy spin. As it began to spin faster, and the mobile above it in turn, the Umbrella Man looked around the room.

The lab was in disarray. Sparks leapt from machines, showering the Umbrella Man’s coat; tool racks stood empty, their contents still cooling in the dead embers of the forge; and on the workbench in the far corner, there was a definite lack of something in the specially-made clamps that now stood empty.

The Umbrella Man wore tinted glasses which obscured his eyes, and so his thoughts were indecipherable. But it was perhaps visible in the slight tension of his jaw, a deeper line to the downturn of his lips; he was chasing a desperate man.

A desperate man who did not think. The Umbrella Man had rifled the drawers of the workbench and come up with some documents his quarry had missed. Nothing of vital importance, but then… perhaps it would be enough. He turned to the phone – the criminal had not even tried to disconnect it – and picked it up. He dialled a short number. After a moment of uncertainty, a tinny voice answered.

‘Central. It’s Gore. He’s taken flight. Send a runner, have agents watching the docks and the bank. Detain, do not kill; I need to talk to this one.’

He put the phone down without waiting for an answer, and returned to the doorway. His umbrella rested against the wall and he picked it up.

At the top of the stairs, a dozen guards moved suddenly from “at-ease” to “attention”, backs suddenly straightening as though they hadn’t been leaning against the wall just a moment ago. Gore looked through them all, glasses reflecting the quaint light on this level. Everything was a cosy pink, from the delicate glass lightshades to the flower-embossed walls. Gore moved purposefully through rooms until he reached the living room, where a quiet lady with greying hair was sitting in handcuffs. A guard lieutenant in official dress had a notebook open and was waiting, pen poised.

‘Once again ma’am,’ the lieutenant was saying, ‘we just need to know if he gave you any indication of what he was doing…’

‘I’ve told you, I didn’t know anything!’ the lady wailed. ‘I let out the room to him and I didn’t pay much attention, so long as he kept quiet and paid on time! He was very punctual! And, well at a certain time of life you get to like the idea of having a man your age in the same house, and-’

‘That’s quite enough,’ Gore said. The lieutenant started, almost dropping his pen. Gore’s stare bored into him, even through the glasses. ‘You can release her, lieutenant; she doesn’t have any part in this.’

The lieutenant looked ready to argue; he shook his head and scoffed, but the unyielding stare gave him pause. There were stories of what happened to people the Umbrella Men took a special interest in, and Gore was paying him a lot of attention.

The lieutenant swallowed, and suddenly found his voice to say, ‘sorry to have troubled you, ma’am.’ He fumbled with the handcuff key, and there was the quiet click as the cuffs were removed.

Gore nodded minutely, and then turned away. He strode through the front door and out into the city.

The bank conveyed opulence, even as the queues stretched across the floors and threatened to envelop each other. Imperial red walls with gold filigree detailing, marble-tiled floors which were impeccably polished – except today, when there was no space to polish that was not underfoot – and desks of fine mahogany behind the security glass for the tellers. They were all custom-built to order, with integrated inkwells and secure cash drawers built in.

Medicine Leaf had done well for itself. It was the eponymous town of the pharmaceutical company, and the temperate forests splayed out below survived despite a lack of sunlight – after all, what use for sunlight for those who worked amongst nature?

For Professor Vaunt, who had treasured staying out of the light, the siren-call of Medicine Leaf had been irresistible. A life of work procuring new medicines from forest herbs and pine needles! As a man of science, and a man who saw his destiny as helping the people, there seemed no better place.

‘Professor, do you really need me here?’ his granddaughter asked. Wilde Vaunt, her hair living up to her name as she picked at the sleeves of her jumper and shuffled her feet in her too-big boots. Her eyes darted to and fro, sizing up the people around her, to whom she merited little but a disinterested side-eye. As her hands rose up and she shivered involuntarily, sending a spasm of movement to her wrists, the professor gripped her arms and forced them down to her sides again.

‘I know it’s tough!’ he hissed. ‘But we’ll be just a few more minutes. And I need you here because I need your eye, dear granddaughter. I promise, it won’t be long now.’

‘I don’t like all these people,’ Wilde murmured. ‘Professor Vaunt, I want to get out of here.’

‘So do I, Wilde,’ Professor Vaunt sighed. ‘But this is a pressing business matter. We will be just a few minutes – look, we’re four people away from the front, we won’t be more than ten minutes! Can you wait ten minutes, Wilde?’

‘I think so, grandf- professor,’ Wilde whispered. She lowered her gaze, looking at her shoes, hoping her hair hid her from the people all around her. Even this view was crowded with other people, their smart shoes in contrast with her mud-covered boots. In vain she tried to find anything to counteract her growing panic – any order within the chaos – but she felt the bile begin to rise in her throat…

‘Count with me, Wilde, count with me!’ She felt a sharp presence on her arm; the professor’s hand clutching her tightly. She nodded, waiting patiently for the cue.

‘Now tell me Wilde, how many… tellers?’ Her eyes shot up and she took a glance along the rows.

‘Eight tellers, professor,’ she said. She could feel her chest cooling, the breathing getting easier.

‘Good, very good! Now, how many… columns along the walls of this room?’

She lifted her head and glanced around – even at nineteen she was taller than almost everyone else in the room – and then shrunk back down to say, ‘twenty-eight, professor: six on the back wall, nine on each side, and four on the front wall.’

‘So quick, so smart! If you were born any other time they would’ve paid to educate you!’ Wilde smiled shyly as the professor chuckled, and the line moved forward one.

‘Now tell me,’ he said. ‘How many… security cameras?’

Wilde looked straight ahead, and then glanced from side to side. She turned her head as though scanning for someone, and then ducked back down.

‘I count five, professor: one looking at the tellers, one over the front door, one for the front of the queues, and two looking over the room.’

‘That’s my girl! Keep it up and there’ll be a nice, shiny coin in it for you when we’re out.’

The line shuffled forward two, as one got to the window and the one in front of them decided the wait was no longer worth it. Now that they were close, Wilde could hear some of the conversations with the tellers. They all seemed very similar.

‘Where’s my money?’ the man at the front of their queue demanded. ‘I’ve got a wife and kids to feed, and Medicine Leaf has kept my savings with you! Now I want access, damn it!’

As the teller tried to calm the man, Wilde felt a pull on her sleeve as the professor murmured, ‘one more round in the game, my child. Tell me, how many… guards?’

She looked around. Behind the tellers were two guards, she could make out through the glass. Maybe more, at this angle it was hard to tell. And then – she turned to look around, enjoying the hunt as she tried to discern points of authority through the throng – two by the side doors each, for a total of four. There was one stationed by the queue entrance, or where the queue was supposed to start anyway, today there were too many people so he was trying to corral them into some semblance of order before it, and then there were – the doors opened – there were…

‘Grandfather,’ she whispered, ducking down again. ‘I have a question.’

‘I’ve told you to call me Professor Vaunt! How many guards, girl?’

‘Well that’s the thing. Grand- professor, do Umbrella Men count? They just walked in through the door.’

Professor Vaunt’s claw-like hand gripped so tight Wilde had to fight to stop herself crying out. His breathing had quickened and sweat stood out on his brow. Wilde tried to pull away.

‘Professor, you’re hurting me-’

‘Quiet, girl!’ Vaunt hissed, pulling her close. ‘Stay close, stay still. We mustn’t let them see us yet; another few minutes, can you do that for me?’

Wilde wanted to shake her head. She wanted to pull away and get out. The tightness in her chest was returning and she longed to be somewhere, anywhere, other than this loud, crowded building. The person ahead of them in the queue pushed roughly past a woman at the nearest desk and started yelling at the clerk. Wilde took a deep, shuddering breath, and nodded.

‘Good girl, good!’ Vaunt whispered. ‘Just… poke your head up. Can you see the Umbrella Men?’

Wilde stood up straight and scanned the room. The Umbrella Men were striding through the crowd, grasping the shoulders of any likely candidate and looking them up and down. There were a lot of old professors here today, so it was taking some time.

‘Yes, Professor.’

‘How many guards? Including those Umbrella Men.’

‘Nine, including the Umbrella Men, Professor.’

‘The Umbrella Men, are they close?’

‘No Professor, they’re still towards the rear of the queue. They’re looking at people, I don’t know why.’

Two of the security guards had detached themselves from the doors and convened at the teller’s desk in front of them. They were manhandling the angry customer around the edge of the room, trying to get him to the main doors. One of them yelled at the Umbrella Men for some assistance – they ignored him.

‘Nearly there, Wilde – we’re going into the vault, where it’ll be nice and quiet.’

‘Yes, Professor.’

The harried teller straightened his hair, shot an irritated glance towards the man being ejected, and then pressed a button on his desk. The number above his position lit up, and Professor Vaunt strolled forward, Wilde trailing behind. He spoke in casual tones to the teller, thanking him for his service and showing his ID; Wilde wondered why he took his time here when he’d seemed so impatient in line.

‘I need access to box 193, please,’ he said, and the teller nodded and pressed another button. One of the security guards behind the tellers approached, and the teller conveyed the instructions. The guard nodded, then signalled to the Professor and pointed to the end of the row – away from where the man was still loudly protesting his expulsion. The Umbrella Men looking one way, Vaunt took Wilde’s hand and meandered the other.

The guard met them at the end of the row and led them through the door on the left-hand wall, flashing his pass at the security stationed there. This led to a smaller room, where men in cheap suits were talking to the richer clients, assuring them that their money was safe.

‘Your… daughter should stay here, sir,’ the guard said, as they approached another door. There were two guards on this one too. Vaunt shook his head and chuckled.

‘I’m flattered,’ he said. ‘She’s actually my granddaughter! And I must insist she comes with me.’ He gestured to his glasses. ‘Bad eyesight, see? I need her to see the numbers.’

‘I can do that for you,’ the guard insisted, and Vaunt sighed.

‘Must I speak to the manager, son?’ he asked. ‘I trust my granddaughter, and I require her with me. She has my permission to accompany me to the boxes, and I need her assistance.’

The guard gave a sigh that indicated he was not being paid enough to litigate these issues, and he waved his pass at the guards on the door. They opened the doors, and Wilde followed at her grandfather’s heels as they entered the vault.

#Fantasy #Fallen Star #Writing

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joshuawithers · 1 year ago

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Travelling with children advice

I was asked recently about advice for travelling with young children.

My family including our now 4.5 and 2 year olds, left home almost a year ago and I have this advice: after about 37 accomodations and eight countries.

Travel light. Lighter than you think. Being as little stuff as possible.

Lots of snacks. More than you think you need.

Make iPad/TV shows a special treat. Fish out the special treat when necessary for sanity or social goodwill like in a line, stuck in a train or plane cabin, or a restaurant.

Discipline your kids lovingly and well in private so they are awesome humans when in public.

Teach your kids to be bored and look at everything out the window.

Figure out what kind of daily sleep/wake/activity routine or schedule works best for your kids and run with it so that all of you have a good day and you’re not dragging your kids through a hike they were never going to enjoy.

Expect to see and do far less things than you imagined. If we do one travel or touristy thing a day that’s a win. Two is a big day. Three is a mistake.

When in lines at immigration or other important things, and they’re really unhappy, just grin and bare it. It’s a few minutes of everyone’s life, we’ll all be fine, and all the other assholes around you have been expecting the tantrum anyway. If people look at us or comment on a tantrum, I just joke about it like “sorry, she just learned about taxes” or “sorry, this is my first abduction and it’s not really going well.”

Teach your kids their names, ages, and your names so that when police come after you make a joke about abductions you can price they’re yours. Make sure they know not to joke about who their parents are and what their names are.

Bring extra dummies/soothers.

We swear by the Phil & Ted’s Travel Cot version 5. Not sponsored. We’ve tried the rest, the Bugaboo is awesome, Phil & Ted’s is better.

We also swear by the BabyZen YoYo and/or the Baby Jogger City Tour travel prams. The rest are not as good.

When boarding flights ask the staff where to “put the kids” as if you’re expecting them to not sit with you. So if with a straight face, and kind of hold the child out toward the staff, gesturing that they can take them now.

Book accomodation that is walkable to public transport and parks. Nothing else in your life matters more than a good playground. Also look for accomodation with cooking facilities, you’re going to want to cook at home.

Whatever you order for them at a restaurant will not be good enough so share meals. Encourage them to try new foods. Our mantra is that you can’t say you don’t like something if you haven’t tried it yet.

Almost all long queues can be skipped if you are a family, or if you accidentally go down the not-foreign-passport line, or if your kids has a tantrum. Turn that lemon into line-skipping lemonade.

I’ve got VLC installed on my phone with a series of old school TV shows offline like Franklin the Turtle. Old school slow TV shows are better than the visual cocaine that modern kids shows are. Damn you, Paw Patrol.

Take a million photos. Sync them with iCloud Photo Library so when you drop your phone in the Mediterranean Sea you’re not devastated. Buy disposable film cameras for the kids to make them feel involved.

Each of our girls has a snuggle toy that has come with them the whole journey. When you’re changing accomodation every few days a common smell and feel is a godsend.

I’m lucky to have travelled so much with Qantas that I have a Qantas Platinum status which gets us more luggage and airport lounges, this is so good with kids. Everyone in the Oneworld First Class Lounge thinks they’re having a fancy moment but then in runs my two year old ready to bring hell. It’s my favourite part of every flight.

Snacks. Water. Lots of snacks.

My kids like to play with tape so we have random coloured sticky tape for them to play with on flights.

Sleep. So much sleep.

These experiences and memories will be priceless. Be in the moment for them all.

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autumnslance · 8 months ago

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It's important in these discussions to note too that the Reddit Translators have seen there's a lot of misinterpretation of the line about "difficulty" in the Famitsu interview with Yoshida. From Miuna in the translation channel in Discord:

we're seeing translations of a Famitsu interview spreading that implies YoshiP wants to raise the difficulty of the game. This is not accurate. YoshiP does say he thinks they might have over done trying to make the experience of playing FF14 "stress free" and that they want to carefully change that a bit going forward. As he believes a little bit of "stress" here and there is just part of playing games. But he specifically says that this does not mean that they want to raise the difficulty. The interview: https://www.famitsu.com/news/202403/11336660.html and this is the sentence that is being left out/misinterpreted in some translations: 別に「難易度を上げる」というお話ではないのです

I've long been a proponent (and have posted about it before) of updating the Hall of the Novice, and adding in another tutorial/training like it at level 50 for raiding. Guildhests, which were also meant to be a training ground, also need a serious overhaul in order to do the job they're meant to (as well as being worth the time, exp, and tomes in roulette). Also some sort of mandatory training for job skips to help set up one's bars and get the basics of those rotations down wouldn't be a bad idea, I think.

FFXIV is actually kinda bad with tutorials and training scenarios, honestly. Sky, Sea, Stone is often overlooked and not nearly enough. Properly revamped Halls/Hests (and not hiding useful info in optional reading material in the location you don't have to go to in game cuz you can queue for it in inns) could help with bridging those gaps in difficulty and allow some added variety once everyone has a way to ensure their basics.

There has been a lot of streamlining, standardization of things like combat markers (desperately needed IMO), and shuffling of abilities to come later in gameplay, but it does leave long time players feeling like some things are easier in ways.

Of course, this can also depend on the player; there are some key events and content that is really difficult and plenty stressful for various players with different disabilities, and accommodations of those disabilities is difficult given there's no "one size fits all" solution.

There has been a bunch of talk about FF14's 'normal' difficulty content these past few days and on my part, I think I could take or leave any potential difficulty/friction increases.

As a new player of about 3ish months, I'm having a blast of just trying to perfect the dungeons despite them having a very rigid structure.

This conversation is super interesting to think about from the perspective of players with varying playtime, too, I think.

To me as someone who has been playing for just a few months (nearing the Shadowbringers base game ending MSQ-wise) and been doing roulettes almost daily because I enjoy running the dungeons, obviously they still feel fresh and fun.

I'm still also getting used to the rotations of any of the jobs I've picked up and still building muscle memory, so to me the game feels just the right kind of "easy" at this difficulty. None of the normal difficulty content has been super hard, but I feel I still have to use my brain, so I'm not feeling any of the criticisms about the gameplay becoming mindless.

But on another side to this are those who have played for a much longer time and have become really familiar with their jobs, seen the dungeon/job structure stay the same through several of the latest expansions or even just stepped into harder content like extremes, savages and ultimates, and gained a different perspective on the game as a result.

No matter how good something is, if it is the same for a long time, people will get tired of it and if the fail states of a game are at some point too easily bypassed, a game can become a mindless hallway.

As I said, I'm not at this point with this game, but I can see how people would get there.

But I'm also not struggling to the point where I would find a little tougher dungeons off-putting or too much.

Same for having tougher rotations with stronger fail states.

As long as it feels good, I'll play it.

What I am worried about is the game going too far in the other direction, where the difficulty would be too much, specifically a possible situation where something feels unfair and frustrating to complete, rather than satisfying to complete because I think a bunch of the difficulty of the older dungeons comes from poor telegraphing, rather than fair and satisfying challenge.

An example here to me would also be the Ivalice alliance raids: they have really cool encounters for sure, but also a bunch of mechanics that have really unintuitive telegraphing.

I didn't fail the math boss because it is basic math, I failed it because I had no idea where to even look to solve the mechanic.

Why should I face the sniper with the hole in the shield and not the shield itself?

Stuff like that isn't a challenge you can figure out, it's an artificial obstacle you have to push yourself through until you find the solution.

I think Dzamael Darkhold is a really neat idea for boss management/positioning for tanks, but the "challenge" of sitting in the magitek circles is more annoying than any kind of challenge.

Copperbell Mines (Hard) also has some maybe neat ideas of using stuff within the environment, but also end up just being annoying, like the golem boss.

But if they mean stuff like the second boss of Bardam's Mettle, which is a neat pure mechanic fight or the beginning section of Hell's Kier and how that uses the fodder enemies, I'm all for it!

I welcome keeping things unique and fresh: mixing up the structure of dungeons, doing something more unique with regular mobs, punishing failing mechanics harder and making failing your rotation cost more.

In fact, if there is one element of criticism in terms of the game's difficulty I absolutely agree with, it's the idea that there is no ladder between the easy and hard content. If you want to try the hard content you either consult sources outside of the game or jump in without zero preparation by the game. That's why I've been hesitant to try: I like easing in to harder content via a possible ladder and work through that step by step.

My current plan, for example, is to reach endgame (lvl 90) and from there start with the easier extremes and work up to the tougher content if I enjoy the process.

But the game doesn't really prepare you for the tougher content in any form on its own as far as I've looked up. It just exists.

A version of the Hall of the Novice, like Hall of the Expert for extreme and savage content would be really cool I think and I think the current Hall of the Novice should not only be made mandatory, but be updated with a couple more concepts as you run through the MSQ, too, to just give you just a sense of how the more difficult content feels, which then would eventually lead to the harder 'expert' version to be unlocked.

(This also doesn't mean they should give everything away, only create a sort of mini extreme/savage level difficulty test before you let people do the content.)

I feel the easier mandatory tutorial would help a bunch with learning the game, especially help with reducing the amount of players who don't understand the basics of their jobs, while the presence of an expert hall would serve as at least some indication of what you're in for in harder content.

But to loop back to the start, my tl; dr is that I'm having fun with what we have now, but it's easy enough where I feel I wouldn't struggle too much if they raised the base difficulty, but more importantly, increased the friction or made the struggle itself more substantial, provided they did this is in a satisfying, rather than frustrating manner.

It's a balance that strikes me as fairly difficult to achieve, but if they do, I think they'll make something truly amazing out of it for players who enjoy easy and hard content alike.

In general, they are promising a lot of content with Dawntrail, but to me the most important element here is that all of that content would be actually good.

Quantity =/= quality, so, from the MSQ to the new exploratory zone to the new deep dungeon and even the graphics update, I'm just hoping everything they give us in the new expansion is good.

#final fantasy xiv #Naoki Yoshida #Famitsu #difficulty #raiding #trials #content #Hall of the Novice #Guildhests #Reddit

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angstyaches · 2 years ago

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Payton’s Halloween 2022

Or; Flick Couldn’t Think of a Good Title For This One

Oops. Here, have almost 5,000 words of a Payton fic that was going to be even longer but I ran out of steam to write the next part. Maybe I’ll continue it at a later time.

Based on this post from anony 🐭

CW: (please read) stress, overwork, misgendering resulting in social and (mild) body dysphoria, missing money, existential crisis thoughts, Payton needs to talk to a therapist or something idk, hunger/skipping meals, food, cooking, overindulging, stomach ache, nausea, emeto mention (no actual emeto), stomach noises, (some) belly rubs, flirtatious teasing. I think that’s everything.

___

As a recovering people pleaser, Payton probably should have been more prepared for how tough their life would get once they were put in charge.

Sure, the pay increase was great, and seeing their very own key to the cafe on their keyring always made them feel extremely cool. Plus, they could choose not to spend their whole day sweating by the steamer if they had enough baristas on the roster, and that was a welcome change.

But this job was made for people with a lot more backbone.

It had started with Annie. She had penciled herself in for an evening off so that she could see her nephew getting ready to go trick-or-treating for the first time. Payton couldn’t relate, but they understood why that might be important. Plus, Annie was the store manager, and could practically do whatever she wanted. So that was all fair enough.

Dani had also stated ahead of time that she wouldn't be able to work, which was fine; Halloween seemed to pretty much be that girl's Christmas. She’d also been working at S.A. for about three months and this was the first time she’d requested a day off. Again, fair enough.

Jake was still on temporary leave after he'd twisted his ankle in the stock room. Last Payton had seen of him, he’d barely been able to walk without getting tears in his eyes. Again, fair enough.

But then Rachel, the newest hire, had woken up with the flu from hell that morning – at least, according to the brief phone call Payton had had with her at 8:47am. Even if they were naturally cynical and accusatory, Payton didn’t know her well enough to deduce whether she was faking or not. So... fair enough (?).

All of this meant that while S.A. was heaving with zombies and vampires and cat folk eager to get their caffeine fix before the biggest party night of the year, Payton and Paul had been holding down the fort alone.

Only twenty minutes until closing time, Payton told themself as they glanced around the shop.

What were all of these people even still doing here? Payton was no advocate for binge drinking, but it was dark outside – shouldn’t all of these young people have been hitting the pubs and house parties by now? Had upscale coffee overshadowed alcohol culture?

Payton glanced over their shoulder to make sure the queue at the till wasn’t getting too long as they cleaned up. Luckily, Paul’s cappuccino game had improved in the past few months, along with his ability to get orders right, so Payton was able to flit about the store and keep the tables clear as customers left. The cleaner they kept the shop, the sooner they’d both be able to leave after closing time.

Paul was celebrating the day by ringing customers up and brewing coffee while in a skin-tight Superman outfit (which Annie definitely would have vetoed if she’d been working, but which Payton didn’t see a problem with as long as the customers didn’t mind). As far as Payton knew, Paul’s girlfriend had talked him into going to Comic Con that summer, so it was probably left over from that. Paul didn’t seem like the kind of person who had multiple costumes in his wardrobe.

Payton, on the other hand, had been consistently broke for the past year or so, and had had to get a little creative with their costume. An oversized, thrifted black sweater with intentional holes, which they would definitely wear again. Eyeliner that extended all the way back to their temples in the shape of spiderwebs. Two fake spiders made of black pipe cleaners and googly eyes from the pound shop, mounted on a cheap headband that was digging into the backs of their ears.

There was a group of girls huddled at the table by the window, who seemed to have chosen “the off-brand cast of Euphoria” (Payton wasn’t looking forward to cleaning up the glitter from the floor once they left) as their group costume. As Payton looked over, they caught a glimpse of a metal hip flask being passed from one set of hands to another. Then the flask was tipped over the rim of a flat white.

Well, that answered that; kids these days did upscale coffee and alcohol. At the same time, evidently.

A girl with hot-pink glitter on her eyes and cheeks met Payton’s gaze briefly, and fell, giggling, against her friend’s shoulder.

“Ssshh, put it away, put it away!”

They breathed steadily through their mouth as they mopped up a spill at the next table over. If Annie (or Jake, for that matter) had been on, these girls would have been asked to leave already, but Payton was nothing if not a pacifist. As long as nobody was smashing cups or vomiting all over the floor, they were content to let the customers do whatever – especially since they were so close to closing time.

Even if the stench of the liquor would have turned their stomach – had they had the chance to eat anything all day.

And then, something else turned their stomach in a way the alcoholic smell couldn’t. A faint whisper-laugh from the Euphoria table.

“Did she see, did she see?”

The buzzed hair on the back of Payton’s head stood on end. Their binder suddenly felt pointedly tight, restricting their breathing, even though they knew that wasn’t actually happening. Their first instinct was to be harsh on themself – Come on, it’s not like you’re not used to it.

But a softer voice floated to the surface of their mind, accompanied by Autumn’s face; Just because you’re used to it, doesn’t mean it’s okay. That was exactly what she would have said, if she’d been here and overheard the way Payton talked to themself. She was always such an angel when it came to correcting people who misgendered her partner.

Payton thought about turning around and politely informing the Euphoria group that their pronouns were they/them... but then they’d have to reveal the fact that they’d overheard. And it would be obvious that they’d seen the hip flask. It was more awkwardness than they had stamina for. They placed a hand at the base of their ribs and took a breath, and then gave themself permission to let it go. Focus on something else.

Like, god, they were hungry.

God, they were tired.

God, this sucked.

The rest of the evening passed by pretty quickly. Payton avoided passing the Euphoria table again, and felt a little bit of tension release from their chest when the group left. By the time the rest of the café emptied out, and they stopped letting new customers in, Payton was so tired they could barely see straight.

“Is that it? We done?” Paul asked tentatively at the end of the night. He didn’t look much better than Payton felt; he looked less like Superman, and more like someone who had just recently taken a beating from Superman.

“That’s it.”

“Yes.” Paul bounded to the door to turn the open/closed sign. He seemed to make a face at the street through the glass. “Happy Halloween! And good fucking riddance to all! Ah – sorry, boss! I know you don’t like bad language.”

Despite being so drained, Payton half-smiled. Payton was the youngest of the three members of management, and yet Paul never called Jake or Annie boss. Just Payton. They weren’t sure if he realised he was doing it, but it made them feel extremely affirmed.

“You’re all good, Paul.” Payton started to count up the till – something they could do in their sleep at this point. “You seeing Mei tonight?”

“Yeah, I’m meeting her at a house party after this. Gonna have some catching up to do, drink-wise,” Paul grinned. He grabbed a rag and some polish from the cleaning supplies cupboard. “How about you, boss? You seeing the lovely Autumn?”

“I’m not too sure,” Payton admitted, not allowing themselves the luxury of optimism. “She’s out with a friend, and... I’m not really feeling up to spending even more time in an establishment tonight.”

“Yeah,” Paul droned, idly wiping down the front of the display fridge. “Establishments suck.”

“They do,” Payton agreed wholeheartedly. As they weighed pots of coins on the till counter, they glanced over at their co-worker. “Hey, thanks for not calling in sick tonight, even though you had a party to go to. I appreciate it.”

Paul shrugged and offered up a smile that was more of a grimace. “It’s grand. I need the money, to be honest.”

“Well... I can appreciate the honesty as well,” Payton half-laughed.

“It’s also a bit easier to come and work at an establishment when you have a cool boss.”

“Okay, now I feel like you’re just...” Payton was about to jokingly accuse Paul of buttering them up, but their voice trailed off as they finished balancing the till, and the number on the display had the dreaded minus symbol in front of it.

Acid bubbled in their stomach, the pain still teetering somewhere between hungry and ouch. With the sudden spike of stress, it was definitely veering closer to ouch.

“Son of a biscuit.”

“What?” Paul popped up from in front of the till with his rag and spray. “What’s wrong?”

“Till error.” Payton drew a deep, slow breath.

The colour drained from Paul’s face. “Aw, shit, did I fuck something up?”

“Everyone makes mistakes on the tills, Paul. Even me. Even Annie. I’m sure you accidentally put a card transaction through as cash or something.” Payton forced a smile, though they could tell it looked shaky. They came out from behind the countertop and headed over to the door. “I’ll sort it out. You go on home.”

Paul held one arm around himself. “Are you sure?”

“Definitely!” Payton turned the key in the door. “I’m sure it’ll be an easy fix.”

The till error was not an easy fix.

The records for the card machine on the till system matched the records on the payment machine. That meant that there was a forty-euro error that Payton couldn’t explain, not without checking the cameras in the back room, and Annie was the only one who had access to those.

They didn’t suspect that Paul had stolen the money from the tills – he wasn’t dishonest enough to do that, or even stupid enough to take such a suspiciously clean amount – but it was very possible that he’d gotten so flustered during the evening rush that he’d handed back too many bills when giving out change.

Payton would just have to explain to Annie tomorrow that the shop had been too busy for only two staff members to be on duty. Paul had had a ridiculous amount of customers, and Payton had been too busy to supervise him. When employees were overwhelmed and stretched too thin, mistakes were bound to happen. Paul would probably still get an earful, and either he or Payton would have the error deducted from their wages.

As they got ready to close up and leave, Payton could only think about two things; the way Paul had said that establishments suck (they did), and the acidic gurgling in their too-empty belly.

Payton flopped down miserably at the table, burrowing their head deep into their arms. They weren’t sure why they’d come to the living area, instead of going straight to their room and throwing themself onto their bed. That was their usual routine when they’d had a particularly tiring or unpleasant day.

Maybe they’d unconsciously been hoping somebody would be here, someone they could vent to and be comforted by.

But the apartment was uncharacteristically quiet. Lucy and Donnacha must have each gone out already, and even if Henry was in his room, Payton wasn’t about to go and seek him out to complain to him. Henry had enough on his plate these days.

And so, their only company was a plastic Jack O’Lantern full of little Halloween sweets, which Lucy had placed there. Payton couldn’t remember if any kids had come trick-or-treating to the flat last year, but they assumed the candy was just for decoration. As though the tinsel and paper bats and twinkling lights along the top of the fireplace weren’t decoration enough.

They lifted their head slightly, dabbing at their eyes with their sleeves when they realised that tears fogged up their vision. RIP to their cool spiderweb eyeliner.

They were so tired their bones ached. They were so hungry and yet their stomach felt too tightly wound for them to even think about making dinner. But most of all, they couldn’t stop questioning their life choices.

They adored working at S.A., but if they were going to survive as a store manager, they would need to start saying no when people asked to book days off. The thought of disappointing anybody, or causing them stress, or giving them reason to badmouth Payton behind their back... it made them break out in a sweat.

Maybe... Maybe they didn’t really enjoy the job after all. Maybe they were simply satisfied with keeping themself in a moderate state of anxiety and misery. They knew they had a tendency to punish themself for no reason, so maybe this was a manifestation of that...

Their stomach growled so loudly that Payton looked around the room, just to check that it was, indeed, their stomach. They shouldn’t have been surprised, really; they hadn’t eaten a thing since their bowl of cereal that morning, and it was already nine o’clock at night.

With minimal interest, they pulled the plastic Jack O’Lantern a little closer and fished out the nearest chocolate. Their mind flicked through GIF-like snippets of their day. Rachel calling in sick. The missing cash. The Euphoria wannabe with the pink glitter.

Did she see, did she see?

Payton made a face as they popped the chocolate into their mouth. The initial sting of being misgendered had melted into annoyance, now that they were alone and there was no chance they’d have to confront or correct anybody. Some days, it felt like they could wear nothing but a giant potato sack and a neon sandwich board that read “they/them”, and it still wouldn’t do any good. Payton liked how they looked, though. They liked how they’d looked that day. That was what mattered, right?

Even though they had done nothing on the tram ride home but stare at their phone, Payton opened up Instagram and began to doom-scroll. A small smile crossed their lips as they glimpsed a mirror selfie of Autumn and Claudette in a night club bathroom. She seemed to be having a good night, at least.

Payton felt a little better as they tore open a second sweet, finding caramel in the centre of this one. They kept scrolling through Halloween selfies and LGBTQ+ news articles and inspirational speech videos. Their next chocolate was plain. Next had some nuts chopped up and mixed in. Next was a bit too chewy for their liking, but they struggled through and ate it anyway. They circled back to the caramel flavour. They saw a short video of Paul (as Superman) doing a bright green shot with his girlfriend, Mei (as Wonder Woman).

Payton paused to lick chocolate from their lips and felt their stomach growl again. This time, they felt it pointedly churn, as though it was unhappy about what it’d been offered in place of dinner. They laid their phone down. Maybe it was time to plan some kind of a meal.

They had bought some fusilli pasta earlier in the week, they remembered, and their mouth watered; as much as they didn’t want to do anything but wallow, a bowl full of carbs suddenly sounded like the most perfect idea that had ever been concocted.

They took one piece of chocolate – dodging the weird chewy ones that they could now recognise by the colour of the wrapper – with them into the kitchen. They unwrapped and chewed it while they waited for the kettle to boil.

Autumn would be scowling at them if she knew they weren’t incorporating any vegetables into their dinner. Hmm. There might have been some spinach left over from their last grocery run, but that was something that Lucy or Donnacha were likely to have stolen by now...

Well, check! Autumn would have insisted.

Payton opened the fridge and was more disappointed than happy to see the packet of deep green leaves waiting for them, right where they’d left it.

“No excuse now, is there, babe?” Payton asked softly, even though Autumn wasn’t there to hear. Yikes. It’d been less than two days since they’d last seen each other, and here Payton was, creating ghosts of her to help themself make good decisions.

By the time their pasta was bubbling on the hob, Payton wanted more chocolate, so they went and grabbed the whole plastic pumpkin from the table and set it on the kitchen countertop. They continued picking away at the sweets as they chopped up their spinach.

They didn’t realise how many they’d eaten until they picked up a chewy one, dropped it back into the pumpkin, and then fished out another one of the same colour.

Payton frowned and peered inside, mouth opening in surprise to see that the thing was half-empty. They’d been tossing the empty wrappers straight into the kitchen bin, so it hadn’t been obvious that they’d been piling up.

“That’s enough of that,” they murmured to themself. They picked up the plastic pumpkin and took it back to the living room, positioning it on the table like before.

It was only on their walk back to the kitchen that they felt the first pinch of discomfort in their belly, and they dismissed it in favour of checking on their food. A pocket of air shifted beneath their ribs and they did a couple of shallow burps. Their belly settled, just a little. They just needed something proper to eat. The distraction of preparing dinner had already eased a lot of the lingering stress of the day, so they could only imagine what wonders eating it would do.

The only thing Payton stole was a jar of tomato-based sauce which belonged to Lucy. She wouldn’t be needing it tonight, and they could easily replace it for her tomorrow.

Their belly gurgled while they were combining the sauce and the spinach and mixing it all through. They were surprised that they could still be hungry after so many sweets, if they were being honest.

But as they poured the pasta, sauce, and spinach into a bowl, Payton’s stomach burbled again, and this time, they couldn’t convince themself any longer than those were hungry sounds.

Payton felt sick.

They sat down at the table again, under the condemning glare of the plastic Jack O’Lantern, and begrudgingly stabbed up a forkful of pasta. They almost gagged while chewing, but they tried a few more bites before giving up. Yep. That had been too many sweets, and this was a proper belly ache.

There was nothing for it but to wrap their bowl in cling film, pop it in the fridge, and go curl up in bed.

___

Payton must have stared at their bedroom wall for a solid half hour, knees pulled up as they curled up on their side, arms wrapped around their waist. They made a mental note (and mentally underlined it a couple of times) that their bin was just at the other side of their bedside locker, and would be just outside of reaching distance from the bed if they needed to puke. They were too shaky and afraid to move to pull it any closer.

They just swallowed again and again, since swallowing was their only weapon against the torrents of acidic foulness that kept sneaking up into the back of their throat.

Their miserable meditation was only broken when their phone vibrated. They had shoved it thoughtlessly into their pocket before making their defeated trek from the living area to their bedroom.

“Ugh, what?” Payton unwrapped one arm and fished their phone out. Even that small amount of movement unsettled their stomach contents. Their throat burned. Their eyes burned, too, as they activated their phone screen to see what had happened.

There was a photo and a message from Autumn.

The photo showed the plastic skull that Lucy had hung on the front door to the apartment on October 1st.

And the message read:

A: Trick-or-treat! 🍬✨

Payton shot upright on their bed. Their mouth flooded with a taste like the evil version of orange juice, and their belly sloshed, but they barely cared. Their heart pounded as though they were about to have their first date with somebody, not open the door to their established partner.

Until now, they hadn’t let themself get their hopes up that Autumn would stop by, but now that she had, they’d gone from miserable to giddy in 3.5 seconds.

Or maybe this was a sugar rush setting in. Either way, it gave them the burst of energy they needed to swallow their nausea and go to the front door. They couldn’t go quite as quickly as they’d have liked to; their stomach ache made sure that they couldn’t straighten their back fully or move their feet too fast.

It was a little unsettling at first, seeing Autumn in so much black – she was usually the one whining that Payton wore too much black. When it came to clothing, she usually held firm that black was an acceptable colour for shoes and tights, and nothing else.

But tonight, she was in a long black skirt and blouse, a black choker, and a long, pointy hat.

“About time you answered!” She grinned widely, reaching out with a gloved hand and gently poking Payton in the side. “I was about to egg your house.”

“Sorry,” Payton murmured. They laid a hand protectively over the spot on their belly where Autumn had poked them. The poke hadn’t actually hurt, but they couldn’t help worrying that their sickly stomach contents would finally become dislodged. “I... I was in bed. I wasn’t expecting trick-or-treaters.”

“No? Well, witch is it gonna be, cutie? Trick...” Autumn lifted one hand above her head, striking a silly, uncharacteristic pose on the threshold. “Or treat?”

Payton tried their best to look dumb, which wasn’t too difficult considering they were 1) nauseous beyond belief, and 2) flustered by their beautiful girlfriend doing a cute pose. When they didn’t react, Autumn broke character and pointed to her hat.

“Because - because I’m a witch tonight.” She wriggled her eyebrows. “Witch is it gonna be?”

“I thought you were a witch all along, babe.”

She half-turned her head and narrowed her eyes at them, intrigued and suspicious.

“Because you always look so enchanting,” Payton explained.

“Ugh.” Autumn shook her head as she stepped inside, a huge grin splitting her face. “You’re such a cheeseball. And cheeseballs are not appropriate Halloween candy.”

��No,” Payton groaned. They rubbed a hand across their belly. “Um, can we stick to the witch jokes? I don’t feel like talking about food right now. Especially candy.”

“Why?” Autumn eyed them up and down. She pursed her lips when she saw how they were nursing their stomach. “P, what’d you do?”

Payton sighed. It was easier to just show her. They gestured for Autumn to follow them through to the living area. On the way, she took off her witch’s hat.

Payton lifted the plastic pumpkin from the table and held it out towards Autumn. She frowned and peered down into it.

“This was full when I got home.”

Autumn’s mouth dropped open. She laid her hat down on a chair.

“Now my belly hurts and I feel sick.”

“Ohhhh,” Autumn cooed sympathetically. “Oh, baby. I didn’t know you were going as an idiot for Halloween!”

Payton pushed out their lower lip. “You’re so mean to me.”

“You’re mean to yourself!” Autumn chided, and Payton couldn’t argue with her. She ushered for them to lean their head into her shoulder. She smelled faintly of alcohol and cigarettes – club smells – but they could still make out the scent of her coconut oil shampoo.

Her hand smoothed over their back, instantly coaxing up a tight bubble of air. Payton turned their head to the side to belch. A shudder ran through their entire body.

“Baby.” Autumn clicked her tongue. “Your poor belly. Shall we go and lie down?”

“I’d like that. Are you hungry, though? I made some pasta that I couldn’t eat.”

“No, I’m fine. Claudette and I had dinner at around seven.”

“Right...” Payton blinked as they lifted their head. They hadn’t even bothered to ask Autumn why she’d ended up coming here, and before eleven p.m., no less. “Is there any particular reason you guys left the club so early?”

“Yeah, Claude was in a funny mood. She wanted to go home early.” Autumn gave a stiff little shrug. Her mouth shrunk into a small line like it did when she was clenching her jaw and trying to look less worried than she actually was.

Payton frowned and scooped her into a hug. “If something is up, I’m sure they’ll let you know about it when they’re ready.”

“Mmm. Yeah.” Autumn’s throat vibrated as she hummed against Payton’s shoulder. “Hope so. I just feel –”

A rapturous grumble came from Payton’s stomach as Autumn was pressed against them in the hug. It sounded like a bad sound effect from a comedy film. Payton burrowed their face into Autumn’s hair again, face blazing with heat.

Autumn let out a shaky laugh as she pulled back. “Okay, wow. I felt your belly churn.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did! I felt it flip right over, right against mine.”

“No,” Payton groaned mournfully.

Autumn laid the palm of her hand across the centre of Payton’s stomach. It didn’t appear overly bloated with their sweater pulled down over it, but on the inside, it felt like a ball of paper mache that was just starting to harden. It let out a few more gurgles, but thankfully nothing that could have potentially disturbed the neighbourhood.

“Lots going on in there, huh?” Autumn worked a gentle circle across Payton’s belly with the heel of her hand. The pressure felt like absolute bliss; like the first few seconds of a hot shower on a cold day. “Come on, silly, let’s get you to bed.”

“Mmph.” Payton massaged their own stomach as Autumn took their hand and led the way to their room, as though she were the one who lived there. “I think I’m probably gonna die.”

Autumn snorted. “You are not going to die. You’re going to lead a long life, annoying me and being a disaster.”

They just had to muster a little smile at that. “Yay.”

#Lucyverse Payton #Lucyverse Autumn #stomach ache #stomach ache fic #stress fic #angst fic #angst and comfort #hurt and comfort #misgendering mention #nonbinary OC #overworked sickee #stressed sickee #overeating fic #food mention #OC sickfic #Halloween sickfic #Halloween 2022

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allegra-writes · 3 years ago

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"Upside Down Soy Iced Caramel Macchiato"

Aleksander Morozova x Reader

Coffee shop AU

Warnings: none, this is pure fluff.

I usually steer clear from physical descriptions, but this is a special little something for the Decaf Coven, @amayatheowl @cocoamoonmalfoy @seolaseoul and @chaoticpete @bleh-bleh-blehs just this once, this is a brown eyed, brunette!Reader. If you prefer, you can read the Darklina version on AO3

MY MASTERLIST | BUY ME A COFFEE

"Here, Ivan? Really??" Aleks raised an eyebrow, judgement clear in his voice as he glanced at the sign above their heads announcing the "Brewed Awakening" cafe, a new age, yoga friendly, law of attraction or some other hippie bullshit better suited for sunny, spiritual, hip Shu Han than for gloomy, cold, cynical, spartan Os Alta. And definitely not suited for the coldest and most cynical of Os Alta Business men, Aleksander Morozova.

Ivan shrugged, his stoic face carefully blank, as always.

"Fedya likes it. And they make a mean cold americano"

Aleksander let out an sceptical scoff, but followed his friend inside, there was no time for arguing and no time to look for another coffee shop, their next deposition beginning in less than twenty minutes, so he would have to, as Fedyor would say, suck it up. He was under no delusions about the quality of the coffee offered at this place, in his experience, these kind of venues were far more concerned with decorations and ambience than with the grounds they used.

Sure enough, the interior of the cafe looked like something out of a magazine, mismatched wooden chairs and tables artfully combined, royal blue couches on top of white plush rugs creating little cozy conversation spaces, empty cages hanging from the ceiling, candles in every available surface…

There was a small queue in front of the mahogany counter.

"Maybe we should leave, we'll be late"

"Non sense" Ivan replied, "if we have to sip our coffee on the way back, it will still be worth it, trust me"

Aleksander was about to protest, but the words died in his throat when a costumer stepped aside, and he saw her: Dark hair piled on a messy bun atop her head, warm coffee eyes and a smile that seemed lit up the entire shop, if not the entire city.

His mother had told him legends when he was a little kid, fairy tales about the Grisha, seductive creatures of supernatural beauty that could control the elements at will, often leading men to their downfall with their bewitching wiles. As he watched her, shinning brighter than the golden Firebirds painted on the wall behind her, there was no doubt in Aleksander's mind that this girl was one of them, a sun witch, like Sankta Alina, who had bravely walked into the shadow fold and faced the Black Heretic, breaking the spell and turning him back into a man with a true love's kiss.

The girl turned away from them to start making the drink for the guy in front of them.

"Sorry!" She called back, "The other barista bailed on us, so it's just me today. If you can give me five minutes, I'll be right with you"

Ivan made a face, opening his mouth to politely decline, but Aleksander beated him to it.

"No problem, take your time. We're not in a hurry"

Ivan frowned, but Aleksander was technically his superior, so he didn't say anything.

"Really? Thank you-" The girls eyes' met Aleksander's over the pastry display case, and froze, doe eyes making her look pretty much like a deer in the headlights. Aleks' heart skipped a beat.

The girl shook herself,

"Right. What- um… what would you like to order?"

"Just an espresso for me, and an iced americano for my friend" Aleksander announced.

"Zoya wants a soy latte" Ivan reminded him.

"And a soy latte" Aleks repeated, obediently.

"Perfect. I mean, sure, right away. Just let me finish this Macchiato here and I'll… make them. For you."

Aleksander felt bad for the obviously overwhelmed girl, but he would be lying if he said her flushed cheeks and nervous fumbling wasn't the cutest thing he had ever seen.

The time seemed to fly as he watched her, dainty little hands dexterously turning nobs and levers and pressing buttons, until she finally stepped forward, presenting them with two drinks on the counter, but Aleksander only had eyes for her, and the way a single, rebel curl escaped her bun right under his attentive watch. His hand twitched with the urge to reach out and tuck it behind her ear. And maybe, just maybe, cup her face on the way back, stroke those adorable pink cheeks, bring her closer to him, lean in and-

"What is this?" Ivan's stern voice tore him out of his daydream.

"Um, an americano and an upside down iced soy caramel macchiato…" The girl replied, "That- that was your order, right?"

Aleksander's heart twisted inside his chest at the uncertainty in her voice.

"Yes, that's exactly what we ordered" He reassured her quickly, closing his mouth around the straw of his designated cup for good measure. The girl gasped, eyes zeroing on his lips, making the butterflies inside his stomach take flight.

"Delicious" he declared, blindly handing her a bill that the girl distractedly took and stuffed into the register, eyes never leaving his.

Ivan wondered if either of them had realized his boss had just handed her a fifty. Gruffly, he grabbed his drink,

"Well, we should get going now. There's an important meeting and we're already late"

Taking his boss' elbow, he practically dragged him away as the barista girl waved them goodbye.

"See you soon" It sounded like a question. Aleksander threw her a smile over his shoulder,

"Very" he promised. Ivan was starting to think he had made a terrible mistake showing him this place…

…

There was a tall, handsome dark skinned boy next to his barista when he walked into the cafe the next day, poking her in the ribs and telling her something apparently very witty if the way she threw her head back laughing was anything to go by. Aleksander felt the strange impulse to bite his hand off.

However, his unexpected desire for violence left as suddenly as it had arrived, when the sunshine girl spotted him, her face breaking into an impossibly bigger and brighter smile.

"Upside down iced soy caramel macchiato guy!"

Aleksander beamed: she remembered him.

Well, kind of. She still had his order wrong, but to be honest, Aleksander was too happy to care.

"That's me" He laughed, "or, you know, Aleksander, for short"

"Aleksander" She repeated, and he could have died right there and then. His name was probably the most common name in the entire Ravka, but it sounded different from her lips. It sounded special. "I'm Y/N" she offered him her hand to shake. He took it, and swore he could feel sunlight fill his veins where his skin met hers.

"Y/N" he tried it, loving the sweet taste it left in his mouth. Sweeter than yesterday's macchiato. A throat cleared somewhere beside them.

"Right" She seemed to wake from the spell first, "Same as yesterday?"

Aleksander nodded,

"Of course! That was the best iced macchiato I've ever had"

Y/N smiled again, positively glowing as she made her way to the espresso machine.

Yeah, Aleksander could drink overly sweet coffee drinks until he got diabetes, as long as he could see that smile every day for the rest of his life…

#aleksander morovoza #aleksander kirigan #aleksander morozova x reader #the darkling #the darkling x reader #fluff #coffee shop au

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whatiwillsay · 4 years ago

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submission: we need to talk about ttb (spade-riddles)

Hey Cam. Seeing that ask defending TTB’s doxxing has sort of pushed me to finally share some of my story on Tumblr, I guess. I haven’t had the opportunity to talk about this to anyone fully, so this will probably be long, but I hope you don’t mind me venting.

I’m one of the people that got emailed by TTB. I don’t feel comfortable posting this off anon, but I was in a Discord server with you and @bisluthq and some other people back in Dec/Jan. I don’t know if you remember me, but my name on there was one word and began with an L and ended with an S.

I want to share the full story, but I also don’t feel comfortable with sharing certain details publicly because I’m still very wary of getting outed further by her if she sees this, so I’m gonna be vague about some things

Request to her followers — If you see this, please don’t send this to her. Like I’m genuinely asking you not to because I don’t trust her not to cross any more lines. My dad is a major homophobe with serious anger issues who has literally been arrested for violence before, and she doesn’t really think carefully or maybe even care about how any actions she takes could lead to people being harmed, so I’m not eager to see how she might react.

Anyway, I first got an email back in December, and I was really freaked out by it at first. I spoke to one of my mutuals about it, and although we both agreed it was super weird and invasive and creepy, we ended up trying to see the funny side of it. So, I kinda just brushed it off and moved on. I was mainly just really confused about why I had been targeted because at the time, I thought it was only me who’d gotten an email like that. I didn’t understand why she’d specifically targeted me instead of other people who she clearly disliked a lot more.

About a week later, I saw someone on Tumblr mentioning a strange email, and I realised other people must have gotten them too. I spoke to Nat about what happened to me and ended up in the Discord

At the time, I felt like I’d gotten off really easy comparatively to others because I initially didn’t realise that she’d contacted anyone else. And so I tried to act chill about it because I didn’t want to make things about me, but honestly, I was extremely anxious. I felt on edge for over a week. I would keep checking her blog again and again because I was super worried that she would post our personal details publicly. I scrolled through my entire blog from start to finish and deleted a lot of posts that were either personal or that I just didn’t want anyone I knew in real life to read.

This part I have to be vague about because it would basically give away who I am, but it was only a while later when I thought I was in the clear that someone I knew in real life texted me and mentioned seeing a weird email about me. The email had been sent a while back, and they’d been shown it by the original recipient/s. Multiple people had been shown it, but luckily (kinda), only two of those people were actually people I saw on a regular basis

I’m mostly closeted, but I’m kind of technically out to a few of my immediate family members. But it’s very much a DADT situation because they’re not accepting, and they like to just pretend I’m straight. And so I basically have to act closeted even when I’m around them, and I can’t even ALLUDE to being gay.

But with my dad, it’s different. He’s very homophobic. I’m only gonna mention this next part so that people understand what kind of dangerous situation that TTB could have put me in. (And the other people that she doxxed too because she didn’t know how safe their individual situations were). It’s all really personal, and I wouldn’t ordinarily feel comfortable sharing any of this at all, even anonymously, but I think it needs to be said because her actions were extremely fucking irresponsible.

Right, so when I first “came out” to my dad, it was actually an accident, and he reacted… extremely badly. This was back in like… 2018 or 2019, I can’t remember the exact year

(TW // physical abuse, homophobia)

He was extremely angry, literally shaking. He yelled at me, he described in graphic detail how he was going to “break every bone in my body”, “strangle the life out of me”, “drown me”, etc. He kept telling me that I’m disgusting and going to Hell, you get the idea. He was having a lot of fun with making strangling motions and stabbing motions with his hands, and he kept slamming his hand onto the table. That went on for about 15 minutes, and then he stood up and threw a chair from the dining table at me. That was fun lol. And he punched me in the head pretty hard which kinda knocked me back. I felt dizzy, I had to sit down on the floor. At that point, my mum who had been crying and asking him to stop physically intervened, and he ended up storming out of the house instead. My mum’s a genuinely good person btw. She’s a little homophobic, but she cares about me a lot, and I’m very grateful for her. She hates him too, but she’s kinda stuck with him… It wasn’t her fault

He literally hates gay people. He complains about us on the regular. One time, he threw the remote at the TV and cracked the screen just because there was a gay male couple kissing onscreen. Another time, he threw a rock at a gay man on the street. There was also a time where he forced a few of my siblings (who didn’t want to do it) to throw peeled oranges out of the window at people celebrating pride while he drove past them and yelled insults at them. He found that really funny. Anyway, I’m sure you guys get the idea of what kind of person he is

He hasn’t laid a hand on anybody in several months though, so I do think he’s trying to be better at least. Like he’s still verbally abusive and controlling and awful, but I appreciate that he’s at least making an effort to calm down with the hitting and kicking and stuff

Anyway, with my dad, it’s less DADT and more that I think he’s got it in his head that he managed to scare me into “seeing the error of my ways” and that I’ve “stopped choosing to be gay” and that I’m now straight. So, if it had been HIM who had gotten that email, it would’ve been like… extremely bad. Like I’m getting anxious just thinking about it. And this is why I’m so angry at TTB. It was extremely, extremely irresponsible of her to not consider these kinds of possibilities before she sent out her stupid emails. She’s supposed to be an ally, but it didn’t even cross her mind that these emails would lead to people being outed and possibly even harmed?? It’s not okay at all. I’m just very grateful that she didn’t send one to him because I don’t even know what kind of situation I would be in right now.

Anyway, enough about my fucking awful dad… I feel uncomfortable that I even typed all of that out, but I wanted people to understand how dangerous her actions could have been. Like I mean, my dad’s got PTSD and extreme anger issues from his teenage years, so I do try not to judge him TOO harshly, but there’s no excuse for being a huge bigot or occasionally violent. The idea of him being the one who got that email is still so scary to me. Like my heart is racing just thinking about it

One of the people that DID read the email was the male friend I mentioned earlier though. He was shown it by someone else for a particular reason, and he was a very important person to me. Like he was a good guy, we were close, he helped me out with certain personal issues I have and is one of only two people that I know in real life that I felt comfortable confiding in about them. We’d always meet up once a week, sometimes twice, and we’d just talk about stuff and make an effort to help each other out with things. Like he was very important to me.

It turns out that he’d looked through my blog before I’d got around to scrubbing it, and he asked me if I was gay in person the next time we met up. I couldn’t lie because like… he’d have known I was lying right to his face. So, I told him I was, and you should have seen his face. It made me feel so awful about myself. He looked really stunned and shocked and kinda uncomfortable. Like it got so awkward, and I started rambling and making things worse. He was avoiding eye contact, and my voice was shaking.

I ended up making up an excuse to leave about 5 mins later and had an actual anxiety attack. Again, this is embarrassing and something I’d never usually talk about online, but I just want to get it all off my chest so that I can move past it all.

So, I was like on the verge of tears (I don’t cry easily), I couldn’t breathe properly, I was pacing around the building, and I just wanted to escape, so I headed straight for the doors. There was a queue of about 100 people lined up and waiting to leave, and I couldn’t think straight or breathe and just needed to be outside, so I tried to go out through the other exit which is for staff only. The security guard stopped me and basically publicly humiliated me in front of all of those people. He loudly shamed me and said I “didn’t have any decency” for attempted to jump the queue, lectured me in this really condescending tone, and then sent me right to the back of that huge line. Meanwhile, I was literally in the midst of a bad anxiety attack.

And then I eventually got outside and had to call my mum to come and pick me up instead of just making my own way home like I usually do. She’s amazing though tbh because she actually came to get me and didn’t even question why. I had to skip all of my plans for the rest of the day and instead just hid upstairs in my bedroom with the lights off until the next day. I refused to tell any of my family members what had happened even though they kept asking. I just felt so, so awful, and my anxiety was through the roof

To be honest, before that happened, my mindset was like: “I mean, if I get outed, it obviously wouldn’t be good, but I think I’d be able to deal with it fine”. But then, when it actually happened, and I saw the way my close friend reacted, I had like a whole emotional breakdown lol. It’s like, you think you’d be fairly chill in a situation, but when it actually happens, your reaction can be really unpredictable. I was so embarrassed by everything about that entire incident. I didn’t even want to show my face the next day.

It’s been almost two months since that happened, and in that entire time, my friend has contacted me once. We literally used to meet up once or twice a week (and during lockdown, we’d do video calls or phone calls instead), but since then, we’ve barely even spoken. Things are just so awkward now. I know this sounds stupid, but I feel like TTB’s taken one of my best friends away from me. I don’t think he’s a homophobe or anything, he has openly gay friends and is fairly accepting, but I think it’s just the way that he found out that has just made things so weird between us now. I feel like if I’d had the chance to come out to him myself in my own way, he wouldn’t have reacted like that. But I’m gonna text him next week and see if we can maybe try to fix our friendship, but I doubt it at this point

The other people who were shown the email, I mostly just avoid. I don’t really care about them knowing that much because I wasn’t close to them, but it’s just really embarrassing knowing that they probably scrolled through my Tumblr blog before I scrubbed it

And about Tumblr… This used to be the only place that I could fully be myself. It was like a “safe space” for me which feels ironic now. But I haven’t been active on my blog since December. I still lurk occasionally, but I just don’t feel comfortable here anymore. I did consider deleting my current blog and starting afresh with a new one, but I don’t think it’d make much of a difference… Like she’s kind of ruined Tumblr for me. I do still enjoy reading people’s blogs every now and then, but I don’t feel relaxed here anymore, I just feel on edge.

It’s mainly the fact that SHE’S still here. She still has a platform, she still has a bunch of followers. It’s been so hard seeing her face next to no consequences whatsoever for the horrible things that she’s done to so many different people. And it upsets me that she hasn’t even acknowledged that what she did was wrong. Plus, it makes me feel even worse that the Hard Kay blogs and some other people are still supporting her and pretending that this whole thing just didn’t happen. Like do they just not care? Or is it that she’s twisted things and made them believe that the situation was different to what it actually was?

And tbh, this whole situation has even set me back in my own sort of personal self-acceptance journey. I had such bad internalised homophobia when I was younger, and it took me so many years to get to a place where I had mostly accepted myself. But now I just feel ashamed again, and I’ve gone back to my old habit of trying to force myself to be attracted to men. Like I downloaded Tinder the other day and set my preference to men and was swiping through profiles. It’s kinda silly actually. I did snap out of it and delete the app the next day though. But I don’t know, I feel like this whole thing has just kinda fucked with me a bit. I am trying to work this stuff out and get back to normal though. I think I’ll be good again in maybe a month or so, hopefully.

And… yeah. I just really resent her, and this situation upsets me. Because the reason she did this was so petty and ridiculous, and I guess she didn’t even realise how much it would impact people? Like I do know that my situation wasn’t as bad as some of the other people’s situations, and I feel really bad for them, and I hope they’re all doing okay. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for them. But it still has impacted me a lot more than I actually thought it would. I thought I’d get over it within a couple of weeks. But it’s been like two months, and I’m still not completely over it

I know it might not sound like a huge thing, but being outed really does affect you, even if it’s only to a few people. Because to me, I feel like I’ve had my sense of like, security and comfort taken away, and it’s kinda distressing. Sorry if I sound dramatic with any of this, I just really needed to say all of this stuff to other people besides myself lol

Like her actions have literally led to me being outed to a few people. A close friendship that I had has basically been ruined. I don’t feel comfortable or secure on Tumblr anymore, even though it used to be an important outlet for me. I’ve had a resurgence of anxiety about my sexuality. Etc.

And again, my dad is extremely homophobic and literally made death threats to me and physically attacked me back when I accidentally came out to him in 2018 or 2019. And if he had gotten that email, I don’t even know what would have happened. I don’t think he would have like… SERIOUSLY physically harmed me, but there would definitely have been a repeat of the first incident. More throwing chairs at me and hitting and screaming and death threats. I don’t really want to think about it.

It just bothers me that she didn’t even consider that? Like did it not even cross her mind? And my dad is bad, but I’m sure there are people in the fandom who have even worse parents, and she could have got one of those people instead. It’s just so… I don’t know, it’s just so frustrating to me.

Anyway, I just hate her for what she did… Like maybe I shouldn’t, but I really do resent her so much, and I don’t think I could forgive her even if she apologised to us all (which I don’t think she even would because she doesn’t seem to have any decency whatsoever). The least she could do is at least express some kind of remorse, but she just genuinely doesn’t care, and that’s super messed up. All over some stupid Tumblr blog that is much less important than she thinks it is.

But anyway… I apologise for the whole rant, and if anybody read all the way down to here, I appreciate it. I do actually feel a bit better now that I’ve got this all typed out. And I’m sorry for the oversharing lol, I usually don’t do this, but I just felt like I really needed to tell people and get it off my chest so that I can try to get over it — L

submisssion⬆️⬆️⬆️

ok L i am trying to remain calm here because this isn’t about me. but i am very emotional right now. i am so so so infinitely sorry that you had to go through this harrowing and terrifying experience. ttb (now blogging under spade-riddles) is absolutely disgusting, lower than dirt, that she would put your life, safety, and well-being at risk over a fucking kaylor blog.

please please please im me or get in touch somehow because i want to offer you support. have you been financially impacted by this? we can raise money. do you need therapy? we can help you find the support you need. this community is unequivocally here for you. whatever you need, if it’s in my power to help you get it, i will. you have my solemn promise on that.

i am so deeply and desperately sorry that you have gone through this. i was shaking while reading your story.

i am in touch with other people and we are in discussion about the best way to let tumblr know what happened. this will be a safe space for you (and all of us) again if it’s the last thing i do. this community is 100% here for you in any way we can help, sending you all the support and love we have.

#submission #tw: abuse #tw: homophobia

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wetforgrayson · 4 years ago

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20 questions / Grayson Dolan

A/n: English is not my first language, so sorry about the grammatical mistakes. Thank you!

20 QUESTIONS / Grayson Dolan

Summary: Y/N and Grayson play the good old game “20 questions” but with a little twist, every unanswered question means an item of clothing that's getting off.

Warnings : sexual content

Word count: 5.5k

You were sitting in Dolan’s living room, constantly checking the clock and watching your chance to get somewhere with Grayson getting smaller with every ticking of the clock. All of your friends – including Ethan – could easily see your crush. You didn’t mind though since they were rooting for you. Also leading you, since you had no idea how to make a move to Grayson when he was trying his absolute best to ignore making things weird with you. Your bold flirtatious comments were returning with a laugh or a head shake, your hand staying on his shoulder or biceps for a weird amount of time, or you putting your hand on his lap, dangerously close to his crotch was always left unnoticed. The tension between you was building, and lately, all you could think about was his lips, You wanted to feel his lips everywhere. No, you needed to feel his lips everywhere.

“Hey, Gray. Wanna play 20 questions?” You try to shoot your shot. You knew that you weren't in high school so playing 20 questions now might look like a boring thing to do, but you had some plans.

If Grayson decides to play along, tonight might be the day you finally live your fantasies. “Why, like is there anything you don’t know about me?” He asked laughing without even looking up from his phone, but you were dedicated to getting him to play. You know he couldn’t say no to you twice.

“I’m sure there are, c’mon, promise to be honest and we will have some fun.” He put his phone down and gave you a look that says whatever. That was your queue to start your game. “Okay, ask the first question.” He tried to get more comfortable on the couch. “let me think…” You rubbed your hand on your chin, thinking about how direct you should be. You didn’t want to scare him off but you also didn’t want to start this with “What’s your favorite song?” and then wait for hours to finally ask the questions you wanted to ask. You were feeling brave enough to play this game as it should be played.

“Alright, When was the last time you had sex?” You could see a little glimpse of a surprise when you mention sex at the first question but that shock changed into amusement really fast. You guys happened to be talking about sex now and then. It usually starts with one of you making some kind of sexual joke or reference which happens quite a lot considering both of you having a dirty mind. It always a good laugh but that’s it, you can’t say anything serious about your sex life or ask about his sex life without him making it awkward for both of you.

“Wait, we’re asking this type of questions?” You raise your eyebrows and shrugged your shoulders, challengingly, as to say 'why not?'. He should’ve seen what you were trying to do. Your skirt wasn’t even covering half of your ass, and you were smiling mischievously. Ethan and the gang purposely making a plan that Grayson wouldn’t like, so you two could stay alone together. Everything was clear but Grayson decided to go blind once again.

“That was an easy question.” You protest, dramatically, even though you knew in seconds he would probably answer your question. “You know what? Let’s spice things up. If we don’t want to answer the question, we have to take one cloth off of our body. How about that?”

Grayson stopped for a second. His eyes staring deep into your eyes, trying to read your mind. You hope that you didn’t look like how you were feeling. Embarrassingly thirsty and desperate for him. So desperate that you have to pull this kind of shit. You just have to tease him enough, so he would drop his taboos and rail you like you’ve been badly craving since the first time you saw his face. “Fine by me.” His tone was also challenging and for a second he checked you out like he was imagining how you would look naked. A million butterflies were flying in your stomach and you could even feel your cheeks getting redder with every second. He just had to look at you to get you this frustrated and it was not fair at all. “ It was a week ago, I think.” It took you a while to understand he had answered your question. An “Oh” coming out of your mouth, unwillingly. His gaze was so deep on you that you could feel fires all over your body.

Don’t think about him fucking another girl.

Don’t think about him fucking at all.

You keep your gaze away from him and try to keep your mind focus. The images on your mind were distracting you, and you could feel the anger creeping inside of you. He could have all of you to himself. If he could be braver, you could give him the heaven.

You knew that with his unsuccessful attempts at relationships, and losing so many people over the years he was more cautious with you than ever. You didn’t want to wait anymore. Every second seeing his body, face and not getting to touch him was now psychically hurting you. There wasn’t one second your panties were dry when you were standing next to him. You have to have him tonight.

“Did you fucked the motorcycle guy in our old kitchen?” His question came out of the blue, confuses you. “What motorcycle g- oh. Him?” When your eyes met him his gaze was different. He looked more into the game, and his stare was intense. The last time you saw the guy he mentioned was almost two months ago. You wondered how he remembered him all of a sudden. Was he feeling the fires in his body when he imagines you with other guys like you do every time he even looked at another girl? You smiled softly at the thought of him getting jealous and possessive of you. Even though he was always a protective friend, the kind that always makes sure you’re feeling safe and nobody could lay a finger on you, him doing it for romantic reasons made your heart skipped a beat.

“Nope, just blowjob.” You answered when you could find your voice, however, it sounded way too dreamy for it to sound normal. Grayson threw his head back and groans in disgust.

”That’s disgusting.” You giggle at how dramatic he is. “…and you never bringing another man in our house. Like ever.”

He gets up from the couch to sit next to you on the floor. Now you both were sitting with your backs on the couch. You can smell his shampoo now and his much thicker leg touching your leg wasn’t helping you with your size kink either. You had to take a deep breath, so you wouldn’t lose it and start begging him to fuck you.

“Alright, get over it.” He rolled his eyes but you were too focused on your second question to notice it.

Be bold. Get him naked. Get him to get you naked.

One question popped into your head, and it made you smile devilishly. You remembered Ethan’s teasing him about watching porn a lot, and he would go silent immediately, going red in the face.

“What was the last porn you jerked of to?” He turns his head in your direction so fast that it made you laugh out loud. Bingo.

“What do you mean what was the..?” The innocent look on his face was cute, but you know it was full of crap.

“Oh, shut up. You know exactly what I mean.” You both laughed, you wouldn’t mind hearing his answer but you would definitely rather seeing him shirtless.

“Not answering that.” He took a deep breath, looking guilty. “Well, you know the deal.” You smiled proudly while watching him taking off his shirt. You saw him shirtless probably hundred times by now since he wasn’t a fan of wearing shirts, but it still turns you on anyway. Tying not to stare obliviously at his thick and tanned body you sit and wait for his next question. You knew that he can get bold when he wants to. Even though that was what you wanted you were still a little nervous.

“What was the weirdest place you did something sexual? Apart from our kitchen of course.” He turned his whole body to you, sitting crosslegged this time. You relaxed when you heard his question.

“Probably on a plane? Oh, I once had sex in a boys locker room in high school. One of these places, I think.” You laughed at his unamused expression.“You could do better.” You raised your eyebrows at his bold comment, still having a coy smile on your face. You adored him when he was this confident, even cocky you have to say. He wouldn’t usually show this side of him when you two were alone, and you were already so turned on that it made shift uncomfortably. You were dripping wet.

“They couldn’t give me better, Gray.” You said kind of mockingly, but he looked like he understood what you really want to say. Give me more Grayson, fuck me on the highway, fuck me anywhere you like. You broke the eye contact and shake yourself up mentally, so you can ask him his next question.

“Okey, so, if you know your partner would %100 say yes, what’s the one thing you would do in bed?”

“Oh, good question.” When you felt your neck aching from looking at Grayson, you sat cross-legged like him. Now your knees were touching each other, and you can’t help but smile at this little contact like you were in high school.

“I kinda do everything I want, you know..”

“Sure, Jan.” You both laughed, but it took two seconds before Grayson became serious, slightly leaning forward like he was about to give you an important secret.

“Mhm, you know what I would like to do? I would like to tie them on my bed and blindfold them. With a vibrator between their legs, enough to get them on the edge but not enough to make them cum. Keep them like that for at least two hours until they crying for a release. Then making them cum for like ten times without a break.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You thought he would just say anal or something like that, but he decided to put a crystal clear image into your mind. You never heard him say such things before, and now he was so unbothered talking about his fantasy, sitting shirtless and however more close to you than he was two seconds ago. Probably well aware of the wetness he caused in your panties. You let out a shaky breath and he looked like he was about to laugh for a second. You knew he was doing this on purpose just to get you more frustrated.

“That was weirdly specific.” You try to break the awkward silence with a joke. “You wanted to know.” You stayed silent knowing very well he had a valid point. Starting to get scared of the game you had started. You could say Grayson had an idea and not knowing what that is made you incredibly anxious. You try to read his mind like he always does to you. He was teasing you, enjoying your reactions and part of you wanted to fight back and not give him the satisfaction. You couldn't help though, he has great power over you.

“Have you tried anal, miss Y/n ?” You lick your lips, your mind immediately filling with the fantasies of Grayson fucking your ass hard while holding you down, pulling your hair, whispering dirty things in your ear as he moans loudly. You just nodded your head as to say yes, trying hard to get yourself out of your dream paradise. Grayson was confused about your silent answer, waiting patiently for you to say something. You couldn’t say anything though, scared to let out a moan if you open your mouth. Feeling yourself getting hotter, you made a mental agreement with yourself to take off your shirt on the next question, no matter what the question is. Just excited to show off the green set you choose to wear for him.

“I’m thinking of a question.” You explained yourself when the silence became uncomfortable, and you saw him giving you a confused look. Not pleased with the way you answered his question.

“What is your favorite part of my body?” You asked the first question that pops into your mind, getting a sweet laugh from Grayson. He checks you out from head to toe like it was the first time he saw you.

“There are lots of body parts of yours that I love.” You put your cold hands on your burning cheeks. His voice sounds so loving that it made your heart melt.

“I think I have to choose your thighs.”

“My thighs?” You asked, surprised by his answer.

“Yes, I love your thighs.”

“Are you just saying thighs because you don’t want to say boobs ?” He laughed and the melody of it warmed your heart even further. You were on fire for this man.

“No, no. I mean, I love your boobs too. I just happen to love your thighs more.” He shrugged his shoulders as he kept laughing at your confused face.

“Okay, my next question is .. what was the last dirty dream you had?” You didn’t remember any specific dream so you decided to make the move. Starting the take of your shirt from the bottom, slowly. Spreading your legs and taking your time so that he would have time to catch a glimpse of your dampened panties. Finally taking off your shirt, not looking at him. You fixed your hair to give him more time to check you out. Acting casual you slowly raised your head and catch him looking at your breast. The material was so thin that he could probably see your hardened nipples easily. He moved his relaxed arms from his side to the front of his pants. His cheeks getting redder while he locks his eyes with yours. You smile at his attempt to not stare at your boobs.

“ Grayson, have you ever touched yourself thinking about me?”

“What?” He practically yelled, eyes wide open with shock. You couldn’t stop the giggle that’s got out of your mouth.

“You heard my question, Gray.”

The dangerous look in his eyes was getting you way too excited. He looked like he was mad at you, you didn’t really mind it though. If he’s going to let all of his anger on you later then he could be as angry as he wishes now. He didn’t say anything else before moving slowly, in a teasing way, eyes not leaving yours for a second. His hands moving from covering his bulge to the waistline of his sweats. Giving you enough time to watch his every move. You shivered when you realize he was about the take-off his sweatpants. He looked too pretty with his tanned and muscled chest, it made you felt dizzy. You weren’t sure if you could handle him standing in his boxers.

He took off his pants as fast as possible. His perfectly tattooed, muscled legs were full-on display. You couldn’t believe yourself for getting turned on by some man's legs. You were openly checking him out with a smile. The serious look on his face made him even hotter. When he sat down again he leaned in so much that your noses were about to touch and you could smell his scent.

“My turn, right?” said Grayson sitting back as before, you felt threatened by his voice. You whispered a weak yes. He smiled for a second, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes like it usually did. You know that was his thinking face. Something about it freaked you out. You hugged yourself and kept your eyes pinned at him, trying to look innocent for some reason. It took him one silent moment to ask his questions.

“ Are you wet right now, Y/n?” You hold your breath, clearly intimated by this moment more than you think you would be. You imagined this moment before, you asked yourself what would you do if he decides to play along. However, at that moment, you had no idea what to do. Grayson’s breathtakingly beautiful eyes were staring right in your soul, you couldn’t even think properly. You try to bear with the thick tension in the room and find enough confidence in you to move.

You get up on your knees, pulled your skirt up slowly with your hands. Exposing your thighs that Grayson loved so much apparently. He was watching your every move, very carefully. Curious about your next move.

“Why don’t you check it yourself?” He flashed you a smirk, but his expression changed in the blink of an eye. He clenched his teeth, and before you could even understand what he was doing he was on his knees too, towering over you with his hand wrapped tightly around your throat. Your breath got stuck in your throat. You closed your eyes out of reflex, your chest touching Grayson’s, and you could feel his breath on your lips.

“I will.” He was acting so fast, not giving you any time to comprehend what was going on. He harshly pushed your legs apart with his knees. Tightening his grip on your throat when you let out a struggled moan. You felt his cold rings on your warm skin when he squeezed your thigh then moving his fingers up softly. Causing goosebumps to rise all over your body. “Grayson..” you whispered his name simply because that was the only thing you had on your mind.

“Look at me.” He said with his deep voice. You ignore his demand, too distracted by his hand that was dangerously close to your pussy. Where you need his touch so badly. His finger brushed over your pussy, teasing you to no end. You bite your lips to stop yourself from moaning. Waiting so patiently for him to finally grab your pussy and give you the satisfaction that you’ve been praying for.

His hand disappeared, and you opened your eyes in panic, but before you could even check for his hand you felt a sharp pain on your ass cheek. The kind that you liked. You screamed at the unexpected pain, however incredibly turned on. His hand was now on your ass, causally caressing it.

“I said look at me.”

You nodded your head submissively hoping that it would calm him down. You wanted him to be harsh with you, but part of you was scared that if he gets too mad he could just leave you. You look him in the eyes and the second you made eye contact his hand went back to the inside of your skirt. His forefinger rubbing your pussy so slightly. You wanted to push yourself back on his finger but manage to hold yourself back. His eyes only left your eyes for a minute so that he could take off your skirt. You were in luck today because when your skirt was gone, and he saw you in your green lingerie he couldn’t wait any longer. He slipped his hand in your panties. You moaned and your frozen arms go to hold his wrist on your throat, making him loosen his grip. You didn’t dare to break the eye contact until he started rubbing your pussy just like you wanted. Hard but slow, making you both hear the wet noises that come out of your pussy, and you completely lost control of your body. Leaning on Grayson and throwing your head back with parted lips, enjoying your moment. There were fireworks in your eyes from finally having him touch you like that.

“Fuck, you’re dripping.” You nod your head even though he wasn’t asking a question. He let go of your throat to wrapped his arm around your waist, afraid that you might turn into a puddle without his support.

“ Did I get you this wet?”

“Yeah..” You cried out. He was knowing that already but hearing it set him on fire. His dick was now hard as a rock, and he couldn’t wait to buried it in her, tearing her apart.

“I bet I can make you cum in seconds just rubbing you like this.” He laughed and you nodded again like it was the only thing you could do.

“ You would want that don’t you. huh?” You couldn’t disagree, only whispering with your brows furrowed.

“Yes, please Gray.”

“ That’s what you wanted the whole time, didn’t you? Just have me right here, on top of you.”

You said yes, annoyed by his cocky tone and his unsteady hand movements. You wanted more and your walls were already clenching with need. You push yourself down on his hand, the pleasure is the only thing you could focus on.

" You little slut. Show me how much you want to be fucked by me. C'mon, get naked."

He completely pulled himself back from you, and your walls throbbed in protest. There was a clear bulge on his boxers and your mouth watered by the sight. Grayson noticed what you were looking for, smiling like he knew what you were dreaming of. He casually grabbed his dick on boxers and gave himself a firm squeeze. He looked so thick like this, his thigh wide open and his hand stroking his dick. You forget what you were supposed to do, just standing there and watching Grayson with begging eyes.

“ Are you just going to stand there, baby? I remember telling you to get undressed.”

“Want to suck your dick.” You blurted out licking your lips, and his eyes glistened with a wild look. Feeling himself grow harder if that’s even possible.

“Want to suck my dick?” He repeated with a daring smirk. Curious if you can find the courage to say it out loud again. You nodded, looking a little shy about it now that he looked at you like that. He straightened up, one arm reaching for your hair and pulling you to himself, smoothly. Your lips crashed together, and you slipped your arm on his broad shoulder. You had no idea how the deal with the softness and the warmth of his lips, shaking from the intensity of the moment. Your lower lip caught between his teeth, causing you to shudder and moan into his mouth. You were dripping into your panties. Your knees were weak from the way he kissed you, taking away your breath in the most delicious way possible. He let go of your lips but didn’t pull himself back. Instead, his thumb caressed your plumb lip, his nose touch yours softly, and you both took a moment to gather your breathings.

“Grayson…” You whispered, there wasn't a trace of hesitation on your voice this time, “ I want you to fuck my face.” His stomach visibly tightened by how soft your voice sounded. You were asking him to burry his dick on your throat and somehow make it sounds so angelic. He lost the little bit of control he had over his body, moving to the couch like he was in a great hurry. You followed him on your knees, getting comfortable between his legs. For the first time, he seemed like he was the desperate one, looking as excited and out of breath as much you do.

His dick was already leaking precum in his boxer, making a wet patch. He gave you a sweet little peck on the lips. You put your hands behind you like your hands were cuffed, slightly jumping and causing your boobs to jump too. Giving Grayson a mouth-watering show. He lifted his hips, signaling you to take off his boxer that started to hurt him, and you obey like a good girl. Pulling his boxer down slowly, getting face to face with his thick and bulging cock. You let out a shaky breath before leaning in and licking his pink, leaking tip. The taste gets you even more excited. You took his dick on your hands, the fact that your hands look so small wrapped around his cock made your walls flatter with hunger. God, he was big. You pumped him a few times before gently wrapping your mouth around him. He moaned brokenly struggling to keep his eyes open. He even felt heavy on your tongue. You looked at Grayson through your lashes before you push your head down, taking half of his length on your warm throat without breaking the eye contact. He was the one that breaks the eye contact though, throwing his head back, murmuring a breathy "fuck yes." Pleased with his reaction, you started to move up and down. Taking him deeper each time.

Grayson tried to keep his moans to himself, he tried. But you looked so pretty with your plump lips on his cock, sucking him so deliciously. He couldn't help but become a moaning mess in seconds. You kept him in your tight throat, going down and down until your nose brush against his pelvis. Completely shutting down your airways. His hips jerk up to your mouth forcing a gag out of you. He shut his eyes tightly, fighting back his orgasm that started to creep around. Your eyes watered and your jaw started to hurt but you didn't pull yourself back, just to keep hearing Grayson's moans. You stayed like that until Grayson tangled his fingers on your hair and pulled you away. His dick was twitching and you didn't waste any time before wrapping your hand around it, pumping it faster. Grayson's thighs started to shake, he was so close already.

You only stopped pumping him until your breathing was fine enough to take him into your mouth again. You wrapped your mouth on his cock, his hand on your hair forcing your head down immediately.

“Fuck, so good.”

You let him take control, thrusting his hips, and pushing your head down at the same time. You didn’t have any gag reflex now. Saliva is all over your chin and some are on your chest even. Creating a perfect mess. You could cum just with his deep moans and his dick twitching on your throat. Grayson pulled away when he felt like he was cumming, taking a deep breath. He didn't’ want to be the first person to come. He wanted to see you come first.

“Come here.” A little disappointed about him not coming on your mouth you still follow his command. He grabbed you from your waist easily like you weight nothing, pulling you on his lap. He unhooked your bra in a second and immediately going to kiss and suck your boobs. His dick way poking you on your stomach. You couldn’t stop yourself from grabbing it, rubbing it slowly, and brushing your thumb on his tip. Your moans are the only noise in the room.

“Are you going to fuck me or not?”

“Oh, I'm going to fuck you.” He grabbed you from your waist, throwing you on the couch. The second your knees touch the soft couch his hand is meet your ass, the sound of his hand hitting your ass echoes in your brain. Your mind goes numb from how erotic this moment is, where his ring was stinking so nicely. He didn’t waste any second before pulling your panties down. He felt how wet you were but when he sees how wet you were his dick throbbed with want. You both needed each other so badly. Even though he didn’t want to wait anymore, he has to get a taste of your pussy, right now. Not giving you any heads up he leaned to take a lick of your dripping candy. You tasted exactly like what he would imagine you taste, even better. Sweet as nectar he couldn't help but start to goes faster, drinking your juices. His tongue was everywhere. His chin is getting wet from how fast and hard he was going for it. You were shaking, biting your finger so you could control your moans but you weren't exactly doing a good job about it. Crying out from the way his tongue moves and pushing yourself on his sinful mouth.

He suddenly stopped and pulled back making you whine and pout before you felt his finger rubbing you up and down your folds with the thickness of his fingers until he was pushing them inside of you. Taking it slow this time, watching how your pussy sucked in his finger. Your mouth parted and your eyes glossed up with pleasure. He was only halfway, thinking about getting you ready but you’ve been ready. You push yourself back on his finger, taking him deep and moaning deeply.

“Yes, Grayson..” You keep repeating his name and it gave Grayson a weird feeling of winning. Also, there was a part of him that make you scream his name even more.

“Look at you, fucking yourself on my fingers… He let out a chuckle. “ Does it feel good baby? Do you need more?” He curled his fingers on purpose, making you gasp. While you were so lost at the sensation Grayson push his third finger inside of you. You’re so wet that his finger just slides in with ease. He fastened his past when you started to get louder, your falls clenching around his fingers.

“You’re going to cum, sweetheart? C’mon, use my fingers and cum.” He loved feeling how tight and wet you were wrapped around his fingers, he knew that you were going to take his cock so well.

. “Gray– Grayson, I’m gonna–”

You scream his name one more time before finally letting go, shaking while he kept his fingers inside of you, feeling how your walls flutter and clench. He took his fingers out, slapping you lightly.

“You can take my dick, can you?” You know he was joking from the tone of his voice but you nodded anyway. You felt his dick on the entrance, he ground on you trying to lubricate his dick with your soaked pussy. He was just so large, you knew he could wreck you when it’s inside and it made you tingle inside.

“Fuck me, Gray, please.”

“Patience, baby, patience.” You bite your finger worrying if your neediness made you annoying but when he pushed himself inside of you all your worries flew away. You whimpered a weak yes, waiting for him to get balls deep with wide eyes. He started to move teasingly, only letting his tip in you then pulling out, making slow wet noises.

“Please, please, give me all.” You cried out, making Grayson spank you one more time. Your walls were throbbing again and even though you just came you needed another orgasm. Grayson on the other hand was rock hard, that was part of the reason he slowed down. He did give you what you asked though, sliding himself into you, burying every inch with a delicious moan. You bury your head on the couch, panting. He started to pound in you, starting slow but fastening when it’s starting to feel just amazing.

“Sweet little pussy, should've fuck it a long time ago.” His words made you feel high, overwhelmed with pleasure. You keep wanting more though.

“Such a tight fucking pussy,” he groaned, pulling out all the way, and thrusting back in all the way, making you feel it on your stomach. You were so close, his pace was getting faster and harsher. His dick throbbing inside you just like your walls. His dick disappearing in your gorgeous pussy was enough for Grayson to come done right there. He knew if he keeps fucking your sweet pussy he was going to cum.

“Oh my god, yes.” You screamed when his tip brush over that spot. Making your body seriously shake with pleasure. There was tear roaming in your eyes and you try to run away only for Grayson to hold you on the spot, keep hitting that spot with great pressure and pace. “I’m cumming, I’m cumming. Fuck yes, Grayson.”

You screamed one more time and come undone. Grayson wasn’t so behind of you, finally pulling out and letting himself cum on your ass. You both just stayed like that, breathing heavily.

“We really did this, huh?” Grayson said with a cheeky smile on his face. He felt happier than he ever did the whole year.

“Aren’t you glad we did?” You chuckle, looking back at his face. He leaned in to give you a peck, still new to the this new sensation. He could kiss you know, what? He caressed your face, so much love on his eyes.

“ Let’s take a quick shower, I have more questions I like to ask.”

#dolan twins #graysonbailey #grayson dolan #Smut #dolan twins imagine #dolan twins smut #grayson dolan smut #grayson x reader #grayson x you #this sucks but whateveer #I Let you know if I fail all of my classes #grayson dolan blurb

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lexosaurus · 4 years ago

Text

Pink Astronaut

This is my secret santa gift for Anectoplasm on discord! Happy holidays, and I hope you enjoy!

Characters: Danny/Paulina Genre: Fluff Word Count: 4549 Summary: To Paulina's dismay, she and Danny Fenton must work together on their English final project.

Read on [ao3] [ffn]

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It was Lancer’s fault, really.

He assigned the class a partner-project for their final presentation, but being the annoying teacher he was, he had decided it was imperative that the students were assigned to pairs of his choosing. Aka, no working with friends.

Paulina tried her best. Truly, she did. She batted her eyelashes and put on her most polite tone when she said, “Pretty please with extra whipped cream and a cherry on top, can I work with Star instead of Loser Fenton?”

But, to her utter dismay, Mr. Lancer was a brick wall. No amount of wit nor charm could change his rubric, and so Paulina relented in a very much not dramatic final sigh as she resigned herself to be Danny Fenton’s English partner for the coming weeks.

Fenton was...well, he was weird. His parents hunted ghosts, he always slept through class, he was clumsy, and Paulina knew that in middle school Fenton was just like all the other boys who saw her as nothing more than a pretty face.

And that annoyed her to her core. She was a human, damn it! She had her own wishes and dreams and goals in life. Although she wasn’t vocal about it, she wanted to be a journalist when she was older. The kind that made it to shows like 60 Minutes, reporting on amazing stories from all around the world. She wanted to travel, she wanted to meet people, and she wanted to be the best at it.

She was still a long way off from that now though. First, she needed to survive through this stupid English project with that weird nerd who had gone through a not-so-secret crush on her before.

Though, when she looked his way now, Fenton didn’t look all too thrilled to be partnered with her either.

She would have called it odd, but that had been their dynamic for a little over a year now. She guessed that Fenton finally got the hint and dropped his love struck puppy act. Maybe he and Sam had finally confessed their undying love to each other.

It was probably for the best.

Fenton made no move towards her, instead choosing to stare dully into his notebook.

Paulina rolled her eyes and slid from her chair. She strode over to his desk, throwing a hand on her waist and looking down at him with an expression she knew would yield no arguments. “Alright, my house or yours?”

“Huh?” Fenton said, recognizing a little too late that she was there.

“For the project? The one we were just assigned? Hello, Earth to Commander Fenton! My house or yours today?”

“Today?” Fenton blinked. “You wanna start today?”

Paulina narrowed her eyes. “Why, got something better to do?”

“Well—it’s just—”

“I’ll come over at four. I’ll be at cheer practice till then. If you want anything from Starbucks, just text me before then. I know Manson has my number, you can get it from her.”

She left him sitting dumbly in his chair. No one was getting in the way of her and that A, especially not some nerd who couldn’t even bother to care about school.

But, to Paulina’s surprise, Fenton actually opened the door for her when she showed up to his house that afternoon. Half of her expected him to blow her off, just ghost her and leave her to do all the work. And yet, he brought her into his kitchen, got out his notebook, and got right to work.

It was unnerving to see him so studious. She remembered Fenton as a nerd in middle school, but everyone knew about the absolute nose-dive his grades took once he got to high school. It wasn’t exactly a secret, what with him skipping class every other day.

The duo parted ways with a promise to meet up again over the weekend. Again, to Paulina’s pleasant surprise, he actually texted her to confirm their plans. And when Paulina stepped into the Starbucks that Saturday afternoon, Danny was already sitting at a table waiting for her, his notebook out and the project rubric between his fingers.

This much good luck was sure to run out, but Paulina just hoped that Fenton could last another few weeks before he inevitably dropped the ball.

Except, that never happened. Each time they set up plans to work on their presentation, Fenton would show up, he would focus on the work, and they’d part ways with plans to reconvene later. It was uncanny. It was so unlike everything Paulina had come to know of Fenton through these months.

And Paulina wondered if maybe, just maybe, this was who Fenton really was.

Under all those disciplinary actions, the dropped beakers, the tardies, the unfinished assignments and failed grades, if this was hidden underneath.

So then that begged the question: why didn’t he show this side of himself more? Why was he failing if he was clearly capable of doing the work?

And so Paulina sat there, just a week before they were set to give their presentation, scrutinizing Fenton’s features as he recited a passage from the book they were analyzing. She noted the bags under his eyes, the bruise on his cheek, the way his face seemed to tighten every time he coughed.

He had arrived a few minutes late that day, and she remembered how he entered the classroom, his gate just a little too stiff to be natural.

Someone had hurt Fenton, Paulina realized. Someone had beat him up.

For reasons she didn’t know, hot anger flashed over her. Someone beat up Danny, a kid who was clumsy and could be a bit slow on the uptake, but someone who Paulina had come to understand was a rather kind and gentle classmate.

Yet someone didn’t care.

So the next day, maybe she stormed up to Dash a little too aggressively to demand, “What the hell did you do to Fenton?”

There was Dash, right on queue with his cocky laugh and a, “That nerd had it coming to him!”

“Are you kidding me?” Paulina yelled. “A week before our English final presentation and you punch Fenton across the face? Are you stupid?”

Dash’s smile dropped instantly, “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Paulina, I didn’t—”

“You know how much this class matters to me, Dash! You know I wanna move up to honors next year! I can’t do that if you’re giving my English partner a goddamn concussion while we’re preparing to present!”

“Paulina!” Dash grabbed her arm.

“No!” Paulina ripped her arm away. “Don’t touch me, and don’t fucking sabotage—”

“I didn’t beat Fenton up!” Dash shouted.

Paulina’s eyes narrowed.

Dash held his hands up in a surrender. “I swear I didn’t beat him up. Ask Kwan if you don’t believe me. Honestly, I haven’t touched him in months. The—the coach told me that if I did well in school this year, I’d probably get recruited to college. I didn’t want to risk Fenton messing that up. I swear!”

Paulina stared at him for a moment, waiting for him to crack. But Dash’s panicked face held.

“Whatever.” She whipped around. “Tell your stupid friends to keep their hands off my project partner.”

“Consider it done!”

Paulina stormed off, ignoring the wide stares from her peers and the whispers of, “Did she just defend Fenton?”

She tried to block them out. They weren’t important. Her grades were important, her future was important, but those idiots? No, they meant nothing to her.

That afternoon, Danny was early. He was sitting there in the empty classroom when Paulina walked in, his head down to his paper, and didn’t even look up when Paulina gave her cheerful, “Hello!”

Well...that was weird. Sure, a few weeks ago, Danny mostly ignored her cheerful greetings in favor of getting ahead on the project, but Paulina liked to think that a mutual respect, or—god forbid—a friendship had been forming between the duo.

“Oof, cold shoulder? So not your speed, Danny,” Paulina said, plopping down to her seat.

Danny tensed, “I...uh, sorry. I’m tired.”

“Sheesh, alright.” Paulina slid her notebook out. “So we were working on the symbolism slide of the powerpoint, right?”

“Yeah,” Danny passed his notebook over to her. “I started parsing through the book at lunch today and found some good passages. Take a look.”

Paulina went to study the paper, but something else caught her eye.

Something on his arm.

Something that looked like a burn.

“Danny?” Paulina stared wide-eyed at the space of molten skin between his sleeve and hand. “What the hell happened to your arm?”

“Oh, I—” Danny slipped his arm under the desk. “I, uh, sorry. You see—”

“Whoa!” Paulina only caught a glance of his face before he ducked down again, but that split-second was enough. “What the hell? What happened to you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Paulina saw red. “Oh, that idiot! I’m gonna kill him!”

Danny looked up, the multicolored patchwork of skin on his face finally fully visible to Paulina. “Kill who?”

“Oh, look at you! That asshole!”

Fenton winced. “Am I...am I missing something here?”

“I’m gonna kill Dash!”

“...Dash?”

“I told him this morning to keep his hands off you! I made that asshole promise to me, and I told him to pass the message along to his stupid friends too!”

Something in Danny’s expression softened. “You told off Dash?”

“Well of course I did!” Paulina said hotily. “You’re my project partner! What kind of person would I be if I let you get hurt?”

“Oh well…” A smile quirked on Danny’s lips. “Thanks for that, but it wasn’t Dash.”

“Well then who was it? I’ll kill them.”

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary.”

“You’re right, death would be too generous. I’ll just destroy their reputation instead!”

A bemused look overtook Danny’s face. “Yeah, I have no doubt you would.”

“Tell me right now, Fenton. Tell me who did this and I’ll make them pay. You won’t have to worry about them ever again once I’m finished with them.”

“Oh, I…” The smile fell from Danny’s lips. “It wasn’t anyone. I just...fell.”

“You what?” Paulina’s voice rose in disbelief.

“Yeah, you know how clumsy I am.” Danny rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. He laughed awkwardly, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “I just—you know. I was walking in the hall, fell down some stairs, hit the stair rail at the bottom. Just typical weirdo Fenton stuff! Nothing you need to destroy anyone over.”

“Don’t play with me. You didn’t fall.”

“I did fall though! It was...yeah, you know how it is. I was walking and talking at the same time and just slipped and fell! Ah, stupid Fenton, am I right? Just always...falling.”

Paulina’s glare was hollow. “How dumb do you think I am, Danny?”

Danny froze, his rambling stuttering off into a tense silence. “What?”

“I said—” Paulina rose from her chair. “—just how dumb do you think I am?”

“Uh, sorry. I’m sorry. Look, I think we may have gotten on the wrong topic here.”

“No!” Paulina slammed her hand down on Fenton’s notebook. “This little tirade? This sham you’ve been pulling for the past two years? It’s bullshit, Danny, and you know it.”

“I don’t—I don’t know—”

“Yes, you do know! You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Paulina hissed. “We’ve been working together for weeks now, and you think you can just sit here and say you fell? To me?”

“Well, sue me, Paulina!” Danny snapped. “Why do you even care, anyways? We’re not exactly friends.”

“Because you’re my project partner! Your grade is my grade, idiot!”

“Gee, I’m glad you only care about people when it affects your grade.” Danny shoved his notebook into his bag. “What an amazing quality to have.”

Paulina stepped back as if she’d been slapped. “That’s not true!”

Danny ignored her reaction, instead choosing to angrily zip up his backpack. “In case you haven’t noticed, your boyfriend’s been beating me up since we were five. I’m not sure why you’ve decided to care now, but if you want something to be mad at, maybe try being mad at the years of shit I’ve taken from you and your friends.”

Paulina stood there seething as Danny pushed past her and stocked off into the hallway, slamming the classroom door shut behind him.

There was the Fenton she’d come to know in high school, this was the Fenton she remembered. The one who avoided questions, who put himself down to avoid suspicion, who left in the middle of class without saying anything, who no one could rely on.

But, perhaps more now than ever, Paulina could see just how much of a sham this whole act was.

Just how much he was using this face to protect himself.

But from what? From who?

Paulina tried not to dwell too much on the bruises, especially since they were gone the next day and didn’t reappear for the rest of the week. Of course, Dash swore up and down that he had nothing to do with Fenton’s appearance, and Paulina believed him. Dash could be a bit bullheaded, but he was still one of her closest friends.

For the remaining week they had to put their presentation together, Danny kept to himself, and so did Paulina. Whatever semblance of a friendship they’d built had disintegrated, and both parties seemed content to let it fall.

It made sense, logically speaking. Paulina was popular, Fenton wasn’t. Paulina was an extrovert, Fenton was an introvert. Paulina thrived in attention, Fenton shied away from it. They were like oil and water, a friendship just wasn’t possible.

The presentation day came, and the two spoke with confidence that could only have come from weeks of preparation. Paulina couldn’t help but glow under Mr. Lancer’s impressed nod. Their high marks from the project were enough to fulfill Paulina’s recommendation to the honors English course for the next fall.

And then the school year came to a close and finally, after months of hard work, they could finally relax.

But not before they celebrated first.

One of Dash’s good friends, Dale, had taken it upon himself to host the massive end of the school year party for the rising junior class at Casper High that year. His parents, being the weird sort of chill parents they were, offered up their lake house with the promise that there would be no drinking and driving.

The teens were ecstatic.

Everyone—everyone—went to the party. Jocks, nerds, band geeks, theatre kids, every clique was represented at the lake house. And why wouldn’t they come? It was the end of the school year celebration! A time to rejoice in having survived another round of homework, tests, quizzes, and essays.

It was also a time where Paulina was once again reminded that yes, the theatre kids could in fact go shot-to-shot with the football team.

Fenton was there with his little group, but Paulina paid them no mind. This wasn’t the time to be worried about him, nor was it the time to feel any sort of guilt at the way their budding friendship just collapsed. She had her friends, why add another?

And it was just preposterous to imply that she missed Fenton.

Because she didn’t.

And yet, when the night was drawing to a close, Paulina somehow managed to find herself down by the lake where a skinny, black haired teen was sitting alone.

She stood behind him, unsure if she wanted to initiate contact. He’d made it clear from their last argument that he still held years of resentment towards her and her friends, and Paulina knew from experience that all that resentment couldn’t go away in one alcohol-filled night.

She turned to walk away, but something stopped her. Before she could question what she was doing or why, she found herself sitting down on the damp grass next to him.

“What are you doing out here?” Paulina asked.

“Oh, uh, hey Paulina! Fancy seeing you here.” Danny gave her a small wave.

“You too.” Paulina stretched her legs out in front of her, leaning back on her hands. “Some party, right?”

“Yeah, Dale was really nice to host this.”

“He’s a great guy. His parents too.”

“I bet.” Danny said. “How are your friends holding up?”

“Well, let’s see. Star just spent a half hour trying to convince me that aliens exist, and Dale’s currently comforting Kwan who saw a video of a puppy rescue on the side of the road and started crying, so I’d say they’re holding up pretty well.”

Danny guffawed. “No way!”

“I swear!” Paulina laughed. “This isn’t even the first time something like this has happened either. I swear, every other time we drink, Kwan always ends up in a corner somewhere watching animal videos on his phone and crying at how precious the animals are and ‘please, Paulina, can’t we just adopt one?’ He’s gonna be the death of me one of these days.”

Danny giggled, his laugh light and airy. Paulina watched him, amazed that they were able to just start talking again as if their fight had never happened.

“So what about you?” she asked. “What happened to your clan?”

“Sam had to drive Tucker home. He got too overconfident in pong.”

She snorted. “Dash is the same. He’s always like, ‘one more round, I’m gonna crush it this time’ and then twenty minutes later I find him asleep in a bathtub or something.”

“Dash drunk sleeping in a bathtub? Oh, that’s a sight I’d like to see.”

“I can assure you that photos exist.”

“The perfect blackmail.” Fenton shot her a grin. “Remind me to get one of Tucker next time he does something stupid.”

“And what makes you think you won’t be right there on the floor with him?” Paulina sassed.

“Hah! You’re probably right!” His smile fell, and he looked at her questioningly. “Hey, will your boyfriend be okay with you out here with me?”

“Oh, Dash? He’s...actually not my boyfriend.”

“Wait, what?” Danny jolted upright. He spun around to face her. “But I thought—”

“Yeah, everyone does. But we’re not dating.”

“Then why don’t you say something? Squash all the rumors?”

Paulina averted her gaze back onto the lake. It was a gorgeous night. Stars speckled the sky in a spectacular display, illuminating the Milky Way behind them. Amity Park was too industrious to see the galaxy, and Paulina couldn’t help but marvel at its sight.

It was gorgeous. Vast. It seemed to never end. She remembered reading somewhere that the Milky Way could only be seen if there was no moon out.

Luck must have been on her side that night.

“Unless...you don’t want to.” Danny’s voice dawned a tone of realization. “But why?”

“I got tired of it all,” she admitted, her honesty surprising herself. “Guys only wanted to talk to me because they thought if they were nice enough, I would get in their pants or something. I got accused of friendzoning more people than not. Honestly, it was so annoying. I felt everyone saw me as some stupid object. So when the rumors started going around this year that Dash and I were dating, and a lot of guys in our grade started backing off, I just...didn’t fight it. I thought maybe finally everyone would see me as a person. Maybe people would take me seriously.” Her gaze dropped. “I don’t know if it worked, but at least now people don’t see me as some sort of prize so much anymore.”

Danny was silent for a moment, and Paulina immediately regretted her admission. Maybe it was the alcohol loosening her lips, but she doubted Fenton of all people cared. They weren’t even friends.

One side of her wanted to get up and leave, go back to her friends inside the house, but the other side of her was too embarrassed to move.

“That makes sense, honestly,” Danny finally responded.

A wave of relief washed over her.

“And I’m sorry that there was a time where I couldn’t see past your looks too. I was young, but that’s still not an excuse.” He shifted. “I’ve had some...things happen the past year, and they’ve really taught me a lot about judging a book by its cover.”

“What kinds of things?” Paulina said, hoping her voice didn’t betray too much curiosity.

There went that hand behind his neck again. He was nervous, Paulina noted.

“Oh! Uh...it’s a long story, but I just wanted to say that I understand. I get what it feels like to be judged based on surface-level stuff. I mean, Paulina, you’re really smart. I don’t know if I told you this, but I’m really glad we ended up partners on that English project. I would have been so screwed with anyone else.”

“Thanks, Danny,” she said, trying to fight the blush that she knew was tinting her cheeks. “I’m sorry for being nosy at the end there. I didn’t mean to corner you like that. It was really stupid of me to pry when you obviously didn’t feel like talking.”

“No!” he exclaimed “No, don’t apologize! I was just being sensitive. Honestly, I knew I looked like shit.” He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “Look, I didn’t fall obviously. I wasn’t trying to play you, I just panicked. But...I’m okay now, really.”

He looked at her, and Paulina noted how his blue eyes seemed to dance under the light of the stars. How he sat up straighter, his shoulders rolled back and head held high. How yes he was thin, but not scrawny like he was back in freshman year of high school. He seemed toned, lithe, almost like a gymnast.

Danny had definitely grown up in the past two years, but then again, so had she.

“I’m glad you’re okay, and I’m also glad I got to be your English partner too,” she said.

They sat by the lake watching the stars until the chill of the crisp spring air began to set in Paulina’s bones. She left Danny in favor of the warm house, but not without saying, “I’ll text you sometime.”

The summer came, and the ever so slightly intoxicated promise to hang out slipped Paulina’s mind. After all, she had months of sleep to catch up on.

Fortunately for her, Danny remembered.

It was a silly text, a meme about Shakespear. Paulina responded with the appropriate emojis, and tried to convince herself that the smile she wore was due to the funny image, and had nothing to do with the boy who sent it.

And a week later, he sent another one. This time, Paulina asked to grab a coffee with him. Catch up.

To her surprise, Danny agreed. They met up at the Starbucks and what Paulina thought would only be a quick catch-up session turned into a three hour long hangout.

Despite his awkward demeanor, Danny was rather talkative. Especially when the topic revolved around space. Apparently, he wanted to work for NASA someday. He said it came from a childhood dream of becoming an astronaut, but overtime his interests shifted into rocket design and engineering. It helped that—according to Danny—his dad had built the equivalent of an ecto-rocket in his basement.

Paulina confessed that she wanted to work for 60 Minutes someday as a journalist. She dreamed of traveling around the world, collecting stories and meeting people. She explained that as a kid, she used to have to travel around the world for her dad’s work before he finally settled in Amity Park. And although she’d been living in Amity for years now, a part of her still missed those days where she was constantly exposed to new countries, languages, and cultures.

Danny listened attentively, reacting at the appropriate times and pressing for questions whenever she would trail off. Even though he had a reputation of never paying attention to teachers, he seemed to genuinely enjoy listening to her.

Eventually they parted ways, but they promised to hang out again.

And again they did.

And again.

Again.

There were some topics that Danny seemed to skirt around, such as why he sometimes would show up bruised, or why he seemed to struggle to stay in class despite his dreams of working for a prestigious agency like NASA.

But Paulina was willing to ignore those demons because she liked Danny, and she didn’t want to say anything that would push him away. And, despite their differences, he seemed to like her back.

Summer drifted to fall, the leaves started to turn, and soon it was too cold to hangout outside.

Which was how they found themselves here, in Danny’s room, laying on Danny’s floor watching Youtube videos, their math homework long since abandoned beside them.

It was a nerdy video, one about bizarre planets that existed in space. One that Paulina would never have watched on her own, but Danny seemed positively riveted at.

His eyes were bright and attentive, and every so often he’d point to the screen and go, “Look!” as if Paulina wasn’t watching the same video.

It was...adorable.

His excitement rivaled a child on Christmas. And as interesting as the video was to watch, Danny was even more so.

The video ended, but Paulina hardly noticed. All she could see was the grin on Danny’s lips, the freckles dotting his cheeks, the way his hair sat on his head like a soft cloud.

“So? What did you think?” Danny asked.

“Cute,” Paulina responded. “You’re cute.”

Danny blinked, his mouth turning to a little “o” shape as red tinged his cheeks. He started to stutter, to try to brush Paulina off, but she held onto his shoulder and said, “Danny, I think you’re cute.”

“Oh,” he said, his eyes wide. “I think you’re cute too.”

Paulina closed the gap between them, closing her eyes. His lips felt soft against hers, and her heart fluttered in her chest. Her hands trailed up to his hair, and she curled her fingers through his soft hair.

He was gentle, as if he were afraid to hurt her, and his skin felt cool against her own. Secretly, Paulina had always loved that about Danny, the fact that his body temperature seemed to run lower than normal. And now she could cherish this all to herself.

Danny’s hand wrapped around her back, gently pressing her closer. His touch was electric, and Paulina could have melted right there. She pressed further against him, deepening the kiss.

They stayed in each other’s arms, enjoying the moment for just a few moments longer before Danny pulled back. He looked at her, his eyes sparkling, and said, “You’re beautiful.”

There were some things Paulina didn’t understand about Danny. There were some things he was still closed off about, things he didn’t want to speak about. And eventually, Paulina would bring those things up, she would get answers. Eventually, she would uncover all the secrets, all the layers to the enigma that made up Danny Fenton.

But right now?

Right now she was just going to enjoy the moment.

#danny phantom #pink astronaut #fluff #romance #phicc #my writing #paulina #secret santa

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