#// its late enough right?
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so like is it specifically planets the solver craves or can it get by with just eating dirt off the ground
#thank you those people in that one server i havent been there long enough to remember names#for bringing up the idea#is very funny#god i have genuinely no idea what to do for n's dialogue boxes. cannot think of a gimmick whatsoever#suprise attack by the artstyle change. i am imploding right now#cannot settle on any style whatsoever. genuinely changing by the hour#so strangely proud of ns hand in this one i dont know what it is about it but i really like it#hats still pisses me off though. why so difficult to draw#murder drones#art#murder drones uzi#murder drones n#serial designation n#murder drones cyn#or its#murder drones absolutesolver#who knows at this point#murder drones skig#still fighting tooth and nail for the tail to be named skig. it fits so well#iz go attack glitch headquarters for me#i think its late enough i can keep this unspoilered
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i don't really have any excuse for this sorry
(good things fest 2023)
#fall out boy#tourdust#patrick stump#flashing#my gifs#its late enough at night for posts like this right#👁️👁️
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YES! JOIN ME IN THE DELCIOUS DUNGEONS!
#ask#non mdzs#I truly cannot emphasise enough how much of a rush it is to hear that people checked out Dungeon Meshi in part due to my comics#I do imagine its a multi-factorial thing (its been everywhere lately and its been around for a decade with people singing its praises)#I am going to get so tall by the end of season one. Thank you to everyone who reports back about getting into Dungeon Meshi.#You are making the hours spent on comics and sleepless nights worth it <3#Also to the person who said they think this series could fix them: IT CAN.#The power of Senshi is *real*. I have learned so much self-care from the wise words of that dwarf.#It's a hard road to put yourself first when you've been taught to push yourself but woah...#“looking after your health is a greater sign of responsibility that pushing yourself to exhaustion” is a *life changing* message.#Yes I said that right after 'sleepless nights making comics'. I've been doing it less! I've been taking more breaks!
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belated happy birthday, idol 🎉 yael organized an online session of a classic karaoke drinking night for xyx's birthday with this playlist 👍💥
#if you dont pop at least a few blood vessels or birit hard enough to fuck your voice up did you really do a karaoke drinking night right#btw lets ignore the fact that its two days late and its now undas#(also yael is my in-game oc)#blooming panic#bloomic#xyx#in the art xyx is singing laklak by teeth lol#sumii posts#my art
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The great general remained, and then saw a wonderful vision clearly shown him by the very God of the universe himself. In it he seemed to see the divine Meletius, chief of the church of the Antiochenes, investing him with an imperial robe, and covering his head with an imperial crown. The morning after the night in which he had seen the vision he told it to one of his intimate friends, who pointed out that the dream was plain and had nothing obscure or ambiguous about it.
Theodoret Ecclesiastical History 5.6
wahoo! Theodosius! so a repeating phrase in the gospel of Luke is 'do not be afraid,' but specifically: I'm most immediately referencing the annunciation of the shepherds (Luke 2:10) because I used this illustration for the last panel since it. sort of. connects to Valens, Theodosius' predecessor, who went from commoner to king at the will of his older brother. HOWEVER. because of that transformation. I cannot escape the 'do not be afraid' just a chapter before (Luke 1:30) that Gabriel gives to Mary because ascension to the imperial throne is an ugly, violent, and violating transformation. and. well.
Gabriel’s Entrance and Biblical Violence in Luke’s Annunciation Narrative, Michael Pope
also in general. prophetic dreams and visions. horrifying. it never goes well for anyone.
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / tip jar!
#komiks tag#late roman empire tag#listen. you cant escape the absolute clusterfuck of bullshit that's going on with christian doctrine by this century#you might as well go ham or whatever. fucking. justinian and theodora were out there inventing my least favorite#divine justification for roman imperialism and its bad enough i have to suffer through it in renaissance literature discussions#UGH. anyway. might as well have fun with it while we still can.#thankfully i have no intention on going any farther than theodosius. so i can#ANYWAY#If you want to play 5-D chess I’ve also done something funky with theodosius’ gender by associating his future emperor status#with a birth narrative but that’s about as far as I’ve gone with that particular thought because there is a cassius#situation parallel I need to untangle right fucking now
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shep I was talking to my brother about dbhc xisuma as one does and mentioned that ask about not being able to puzzle xisuma's face together mentally and my brother joked that the reason you put the spoiler bars and such on his face is cause you cant draw his whole face yet 😂
anyway I might have talked his ear off about dbhc idk tho lmao
LMAOO NOOOO!!! MY SECRET FINALLY IS OUT!!! /silly
#HEHE thats rly fun though i hope your brother is enjoying the osmosis XD#truthfully... drawing xisuma's face is still really difficult for me... bc he's always like. the character whose personality and character#like. comes from the fact that we never see his face? and so there's something about him that feels more... right when his face is just.#a mystery#but i DO have a facecanon for him. esp for dbhc bc its important. even if when i think Xisuma i don't think of his face the way i might whe#I think of other characters. that isn't the reason why I spoiler it though XD when we get the face reveal it'll be obvious enough. i hope#LMAO.#anyway#idk like#some of the first sketches i did of Xisuma's face will still be my favorites tbh#it's hard to capture the same energy of a rough sketch when you try to sharpen those soft edges into a clean picture yknow?#i HAVE gotten better at it though.... square-ish face but soft on the edges... kind blue eyes... hair always tied back tightly and neatly#idk. i think about him a LOT#especially lately but we knew this hehehe#i think he deserves to take the helmet off every once and a while and just. breathe and get out of his own head yknow#i think he gets better at it in s9 even if he only takes it off around people he really trusts (keralis and cleo)#not that doc hasnt seen him or that he distrusts doc but... well. that whole relationship is a work in progress since season 8 was. well#anyway im really and truly rambling <3#xisumas face is both an enigma to me and a soft sturdy shape in my brain... its hard to replicate consistently but those doodles are#just for me anyway =w= <3#(and a few select others. who Know. you know who you are)
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me trying to explain the berserk trio:
ok so you know that famous internet question: "the man or the bear?" well. casca would choose the bear cus she is a woman who has suffered her own share of experiences with men and understands the true gravity of such a question. guts would also choose the bear, cus according to him fighting a random man would be considered "too easy" and he needs "a real challenge". griffith would choose the bear cus he misunderstood the question and he is a feral bisexual twink with oddly specific needs. in this essay i will-
#day 1208463 without berserk. i have lost smell in my left ear and eyesight in my right. something wicked grows inside of me but i still#dont have a name for it. the bars of the enclosure sometimes move about and coil around my arms like snakes. i crave nutella.#SOMEBODY GET GRIFFITH A SERVICE TOP BEAR OR SO HELP ME GODD#why should the world be terrorised cause nobody stepped up to wreck his absolute shit?? its just so fucking unfair#also casca talking straight up fact as always💯💯#guts gets 2 bears to fight just cause he's been a good boy lately <33#berserk#griffith#guts#casca#casca berserk#griffith berserk#guts berserk#berserk shitpost#griffguts#gutsca#im just tagging whatever at this point sorry#anyways#somebody come shoot me ive had enough#my posts
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*quietly* would people still be interested in jaiden fanart even though she's no longer a part of the qsmp. Like, I have so many work in progress' that I'm now worried will get zero interaction if I post.
God, this feels selfish to talk about, but like, I would love to continue to see fanart of her. I'm worried I'm the only one now. And if my art gets zero interaction, it always gives me the biggest art slump.
#qsmp#qsmp jaiden#jaiden animations#it sucks cuz it feels like i need to post art right now#or else it wont ever be seen#and like#nothings done enough#and i dont feel comfortable posting it in the stages its in#ahhhhhhhh#god this feels so selfish#but she is the main reason ive been able to draw lately#and i wana keep seeing others draw her#god this is so selfish
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Coming atcha in this incredible sweater I inherited from my late grandfather
#spitblaze says things#im so sad i never got a chance to ask him to take me clothes shopping before his health went down the tubes and i figured myself out#i kinda feel that way with grief anyway. a lot of oughta coulda woulda shoulda. feeling like i squandered my time with them#that it wasnt meaningful enough. that we didnt form enough of a connection#but whatever its too late now. just gotta keep it in mind moving forwards. making connections and reaching out to ppl is So Fucking Hard#but its worth it and i KNOW its worth it and im tired of feeling like i never truly got to know someone before it was too late#im very bad at initiating conversations. im trying to work on it but starting shit is the hardest thing in the world for me#if we're friends and havent talked in a while feel free to reach our#like. maybe nor right this minute its like 11 and ive spent all day either driving or with family. im wiped#but yknow#see. him face#ftm#transmasc#nonbinary#transmasculine
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She girlbossed so hard I forgot how to draw skirts
eheuheuheu
#my hand sketches look like SHIT im so fuckin sorry lksfjlksjf;ojf;oie;oijf#Girlboss#Sarah Jane Smith#Doctor Who#Classic Who#Doctor Who Fanart#my art#WIP#Was gonna draw her carrying the rifle in her right hand but im a lazy hoe and i ended up making her hold the veil instead#I *THIIIINK* the gun was a Gewehr 98. A rifle that was designed in the late 1800s and later saw use in WW1. But I am probably wrong#the bolt action lever looks kinda like a Gew98's anyways... The Kar98 has the same bolt too; but that gun is nowhere near old enough#ANYWAYS!!! lemme know if someone knows what fucking gun it is.... its gonna drive me nuts
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It's a bit of a shame that the Dada Dog isn't a child of Lila. Considering the motif of the suffering dog and the thematic topics of abuse and lack of agency, and considering the fraternity's intentions when "creating" Lila, Garage Heathen could have incorporated the puppy mill practice as another symbol. A dog maintained by its owners just enough so that it may be indiscriminately bred and provide its owners with offspring, for the owners' benefit— certified Who's Lila moment
#who's lila?#who's lila#whos lila#lila#grand beaver original#sa tw#abuse tw#animal abuse tw#tell me if i need to include more tags!#anyways. hello everyone! I'm glad people like the t-gotchi meme#i'm taking a break from a piece I'm working on right now (not WL- for fundraising)#and i just wanted to post a thought I've been nursing. this game's exploration and combination of its sensitive topics means a lot to me#and i have a lot I'd like to express in fics and art but i fear that by the time I'll be free enough to finish any of either#it'll be Too Late. by my own arbitrary standards#so here is a Text Post. i apologize that this is a rather heavy thing to dwell and write on haha
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Look at these stickers my brain is literally so huge. God. I love them so much.
I hadn't tried to do a sticker sheet at home before because I knew it would be difficult, and I was right! Getting the cut lines to line up with the print was super hard and there were many failed attempts, but it was so worth it I'm so happy with them!!!
This sticker sheet is for my patrons this month ^^
#like seriously I wasted like 10 entire sheets#normally when I do stickers I get to arrange them on a 'print and cut' sheet#which basically has these black marks in the corners that the machine can scan so it can cut based off of where those marks were#so it gets to line up muuuch easier#but with this I didnt want to have just like 2 sticker sheets a page... I wanted to have 4 for an 8.5x11 piece of paper?#cause of obvious reasons I feel#cause the print and cut takes an inch all around#I'm not sure it would be replicable either tbh? like if I were to design another sheet I would have to waste a bunch of papers again#cause for some reason the individual cut lines werent like... it wasnt like it was just entirely offset or entirely scaled 1:1#it was like some parts had to scoot up some spots had to scoot over some down whatever#so I think I would have to print cut and test again#but. also I did all that and realized. I could have been testing this on normal pieces of paper... I didnt have to use sticker paper#its fine! just makes me feel less bad about trying to do this again in the future#the sticker paper isnt that expensive this wasnt terrible#anyways. might do more in the future! I only have one other idea right now for a sticker sheet bt I wanna do it eventually#not like I wont ever have other ideas. obviously.#I just generally try to only make stuff that i'd actually wanna have so i'm not trying to make a ton of designs or whatever#this is actually also why i'm often sort of... late? on the patreon designs#not late like i send them out as soon as payments get processed for that month the design was for#but ideally id be making them ahead of time enough that people could sign up or sign off if theyre interested or not...#but I just dont wanna make a design that feels procedural... I CAN but I wanna make things that are creative and worth paying for!#so. I often will spend multiple days mulling over ideas for that months designs. so I'm not very ahead at all haha#anyways. yeah these are for october and then I've also gotta draw a halloween themed drawing for this year in general that will be the prin#i lov halloween#anyways.#patreon#merch#my bf didnt get it the gravestone box. its like a nerds box shaped like a gravestone...#and the nerds are. ghosts... its good. its good okay you agree
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OK
so, I'm really really sorry to anyone who's sent me an ask that has gone unanswered.
I have like, 17 asks in my inbox and some of them were art requests (and good ones), some of them were comments about Snoots that I wanted to draw doodles for, and some of them were just messages, but I've been avoiding my inbox because of some unknown reason and now it's stressing me ouuuttt😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫
Some of these askes span back to OCTOBER. 2023. AAAHHH
SO. I'm going to keep some of the art requests on my own little to-do list, but for my sanity's sake, I need to clear out my inbox.
Idk why this is stressing me out so much, but I've had like, inbox paralysis for months and then I feel guilty for posting things when I have 17 unanswered asks and then I avoid it more and then as soon as I answer one I get another and AHHH.
now LISTEN. I LOVE ASKS. it's just my time of the month so I'm acting super extra and now I have to DELETE FOR MY SANITY.
Feel free to still send me asks, I just need a clean slate.
ANYWAYS I LOVE YOU ALL❤️❤️❤️ GOODBYE IM GOING TO DRAW LEGEND WHUMP FOR THE NEXT WEEK STRAIGHT HEHE
#ive been debating clearing my inbox for a while#but then I feel sooo guilty#because people cared enough to send me asks!#and its so sweet and I love them#but y'know how you'll see a text but then you don't respond right away#and then days pass#and you know you still haven't answered#so you try to think of an excuse to give#but then you forget to give your excuse in a timely manner#and then it becomes so late that you just can't answer anymore#like#even if you finally answer the text#its too late#so now it just sits in your text history#to mock you#its that#my Tumblr inbox is mocking me#and this is my ✨easy out✨#acknowledging that I am trash at responding#and starting over#because I can#tell me this whole rant doesn't scream conflict avoidant lol#i dare you haha#AH#ive literally stared at this post for 10 minutes because I feel so guilty
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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sorry no art in a hot second... ive been really burnt out for a long time now and its been miserable, ive been looking for a normie job for ages so that i can make art something i do for myself again and i havent had much luck but.
i have good news now.
#YIPPEEEEEE#cant wait to see how this effects my relationship with my art#freelancing is hard. im excited to be creative for myself again#prince talks#ideally id want to work in the cartoon industry but its looking rough right now and im already having a hard enough time#but its never too late to try to achieve your dreams#so im just putting it on the backburner for now#have to take care of myself instead of being so worried about 'wasting my life' or whatever because its just making me miserable#LIFE HAS VALUE NO MATTER WHAT DAMMIT#oh btw i will still be taking comms i just wont be making it like.#my only source of income#bc that SUCKED.#i love doing comms. dont love how unstable it is
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starting to kind of date someone right before christmas is so stressful fr. do i get him a gift or what we've been on two dates but i'm seeing him tonight n it's christmas eve.....but what if he didn't get me anything then it will be weird.....
#i planned to try to find something small enough that i could easily carry around concealed then take it out if he got something for me#but the thing i got ened up being a bit too big for that lol#im gonna bring a big bag of gifts for all my friends maybe and then it won't be weird idk#by some miracle my mom showed me a bag of emergency gifts for the girlies and i was like cool im taking all of them tonight 😂#which was not what she intended lol#but im gonna do it#if i had time i would have gotten him something different but its good enough#he mentioned a book he hadn't read last night so would have been cool the got him that but its too late its a music hat now#if he even got me anything idk#but he specifically told me he was last minute christmas shopping so idk#i am over analyzing this for sure tho#anyway most unrealistic part of christmas romance movies is they're not anxious wondering whether to gift or not to gift#also im lowkey scared abt new years 😳#not that i wouldn't like to kiss him probably but i already have a hard time looking at him without blushing 😂#so that would make it 10000x worse lmao#also idk if i want to kiss him JUST bc its new years instead of waiting for the right moment to just happen? idk i dont wanna rush things#its not for sure we'll be together at midnight on new years idk what his plans are#but we'll see#anyway things are going well but moving faster than expected 😅#also not 100% sure i'm seeing him tonight and def not tomorrow so that might take the gift pressure off but idk#waiting to hear back abt tonight#😐😐😐#also idk why we waited until we were both on break from work to do stuff bc honestly every time we've met it's been after work hours anyway#however it allows us to stay up later than on work nights which is nice#he didn't leave my house until after 11 last night lol#anyway trying hard not to get swept up in all this while its new but fr im like oh this is what it's supposed to feel like 🥺#never been in love before every relationship i've had was awk and forced was starting to think maybe im just not capable of love#but literally cuddling on the couch watching it's a wonderful life last night i was like hm i'm definitely capable of love actually#not saying im actually there yet but it would be soooo easy to fall for this guy which is p scary actually#esp bc im not sure it would work for other reasons
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