#// idk what hurts more. the fact that the genuinely doesnt care if this is all a part of a dream

[sad-leon]

what if i gave rise leo BPD...

his anger manifests in the form of self-sabotage and self harm. he asks donnie to sound proof his room when they get to the new lair so he can wreck it without concerning everyone else. before that he'd sneak to the surface and wreck an already messy alleyway

his self harm is recklessness. he gets hurt in fights as much as he can and still get away with just a "please be more careful" lecture from raph

speaking of raph, his oldest brother is his favorite person. so when raph starts to brush him to the side and distrust him, he doesnt take it well. when he does something to impress raph and all he gets is "finally..." thats when he disappears for hours and comes back home with sore arms and usually some scrapes and many bruises

he becomes a medic because they can't ignore him if he helps them. plus he can get better at hiding his breakdowns if he can take care of his own injuries

he wants to be in the spotlight so bad until the spotlight shines on him and suddenly his skin fits wrong

splinter and raph brush it off as teenage hormones. donnie shuts it out. mikey is the first person to realize leo's moods aren't normal, but he doesnt want to confront the fact the bpd comes from trauma, so he tries to support leo as best he can

april doesnt realize how much leo's mood shifts until she spends a night in the lair and realizes that leo isn't as hyper as he presents himself. he tries to mask, but he's too tired and the sudden silence from leo throws april off. it creates a rift between them. even when leo is happier around april, she knows somethings wrong- knows its not quite as genuine as she thought.

she spends more time around donnie than leo and leo thinks its for the best. eventually all his brothers- all his family prefer spending time with someone thats not him. he tells himself its for the better- the less time they spend around him, the less likely he'll be upset around them and end up making them upset

leo convinces himself he's meant to be alone and puts his all into being the team medic and spends the rest of his time alone and dissociating. he hates being the leader- having everyones eyes on him all the time. watching him. waiting for him to mess up- to act out- to prove they were right not to trust him

.... idk.. just a thought

[tewwor-moving]

Time stops.

Even as the world around him rushes forth; his own body carried along with it. What was once a well kept visage has all but dissolved into hopelessness. Dark locks have reached just past his shoulders, mostly in a half combed mess. Wrinkles invaded every piece of clothing. Dark circles bruised themselves beneath each eye. A deep, almost unbearable sadness weighed on him. And for once he didn’t numb the anguish. Didn’t feel right when he put his all into that last confession.

It’s made him careless, he’ll admit it. Overly reckless with other emotions to the point where he landed in hot acidic water. All because of a small disagreement with a newer member. The sadness turned ire he carried was pushed onto that person without thinking of the consequences. And, in layman’s terms, he was forced to meet his own temper head on twofold. Barely came out of it alive. Wouldn’t have if Vector hadn’t miraculously stopped by in the nick of time.

There were too many injuries to keep track of in that bleary state. Consciousness weaved in and out for what felt like an eternity. Then it all crashed into place. A sudden burst of pure agony engulfed him to mirror the brilliant blue flames spread across his broken body. Litho’s cleared to return soon after. And he does, though bleakly. The fear of Ricochet returning is the only thing that maintains some amount of life in him. Otherwise, he’d be sulking his way into the floorboards. Try and bury himself in meaningless conversations with himself about what he could’ve done different.

Not that it’d matter. What’s done is done.

All he can do is mope and keep her perch accessible just in case. It’s become the only clean spot in his shop. The light’s always on. Windows kept unlocked. Two fresh towels stacked in a basket just beside the opening in case it’s been raining out. There’s even that crystal decanter on a nearby table; not without two well polished glasses waiting to be filled again in good company.

Litho’s come to sit vigil every night. Long after regular shop hours are over and all the doors are locked. He sits and waits. Scrawls thoughts wrapped in poetry whenever the threat of sleep creeps in. Until he’s unable to keep those heavy eyelids open and stare yearningly for her appearance. Wish upon it. Even pray on the occasional whim of desperation.

The start to a fitful slumber barely begins when something wakes him. Still groggy and disheartened, he blinks his eyes open slowly. Doesn’t care if his vision blurs as he rubs at them too hard. Except — wait. Bloodshot eyes shoot open and clear all at once when it registers. She’s here. Lucid dreaming or not, the instantaneous elation he feels carries him forward. Half scrambling, half shocked he’s closing the space between them once more.

“Seph, you’re back,” he breathes out in a rush. Trembling hands stretching before him to help Persephone inside. “You’re— welcome back.”

@tewwor.

IT HAS BEEN THREE WEEKS, AND PERSEPHONE has not been able to stop thinking about the look on lionel's face when she stepped away from him. the way she refused to explain; the way leaving his embrace left her body cold. ( you're a liability. i can't afford a liability. ) three weeks of no contact, three weeks of working herself past her body's limits, three weeks spent tracking down her latest target before ripping him to shreds with her claws and teeth.

it is under these circumstances, hunched over what was once a body and trembling from the adrenaline crash, that something in her crumples. a wall, maybe. one of the many barriers they built between HELLHOUND, the monster they've become, and PERSEPHONE — the terrified young thing who does not want to suffer this night alone.

they only snap back to awareness once they're at lionel's building. somehow, she's managed to haul her unstable and hulking frame across the district on muscle memory alone, without cops on her tail. one hell of a feat for a 6'4" woman covered in blood. the lights are on — of course they are — and she can see the window above her, the one she always climbs up the outer wall to get to. ( it's open. )

the shakes have only gotten worse. finally, persephone pulls her shivering body onto the windowsill and pauses to catch her breath. blood everywhere. blood matted in her hair, dried on her skin, in her clothes, in her teeth. but she's here.

[pumpkinsy0]

And…what if I asked to start this new year off with some angst headcanons? Specifically the gang accidentally forgetting Two-Bit’s birthday. (Bonus points if you throw in either Dar-Bit,Dalbit, Or TimBit,you can decide.)

Idk everyone always says they’d forget Ponyboy or Sodapop’s birthday. And I genuinely can’t see that happening with how the Curtis brothers act. But I can definitely see them accidentally missing Two-Bit’s birthday. I can also see Two having very mixed feelings on this especially if his own family forgot as well.

id tell u that ur soooo real for it i love drama too

•FOR THE CURTIS GANG AND BDAYS, mrs curtis actually made a whole list of everyones day so she doesnt forget and after she died, darry followed that tradition on (or at least tried to). darrys the one who tells everyone whos bday it is so EVERYONNEEE wishes them well, this time however, he was so exhausted from work he misread two’s bday as being later on in the month

•tbh, two bit never striked me as the type to put a lot of emphasis on his bday, he loves having fun but i dint think hes BIG on the attention that comes w it being ur bday, he doesnt complain about it however. in his head its just if u remember u remember, if u dont, u dont, hes not gonna wish death upon u or somethin

•he expected that from a LOT of ppl to not know it was his bday, but not the gang. maybe one or two ppl but all of em??? hes a lil hurt, but hey they got their own lives, he was probably gonna spend most of the day celebrating on his own anyways, hes not totally bogged down thankfully

•if u want him to b extra sad, be tried hanging out w at least one person from the gang, but they all brushed him off, he was like a stray cat walking around for one singular crumb of attention. they didnt even have to know it was his birthday, he just wanted to b around someone

•what would b two’s tipping point is the fact that he doesnt have cake, and i dont mean this in a “he wants to eat cake cause two loves cake, thats all his character is” kinda way. its bc he wouldve liked to have a littttllleee moment of connection w ppl he loved, its more what the cake represents ig u could say!!! the cake being good is just a bonus

•so god damn it if he cant have cake, he might as well get free drinks over at bucks, make something good out of a not so good birthday. thats where he bumped into,,,hold my hand for this🫴🏽,,,,tim,,,woah,,,,,

•tim was there playing pool and noticed two looking slightly defeated, which means a lot cause hes never seen that guy upset so whatever happens has to b solve IMMEDIATELY🗣️🗣️

•tim personally doesnt care much for his own bday, like truthfully he doesnt, so when it comes to listening to two, he has a bit of a hard time relating to him, not that he doesnt care, but he does brush it off a bit, he sees it as something pretty simple but its BC he sees it as so simple that he decides to stay w him for a bit, for his sake

•they played stupid games, they now have 2 inside jokes, yet they could never rlly explain to someone WHAT they talked about, they were just yapping asay. their asses were totally carved into this bar stool chairs, they didnt leave for HOURS, hell they didnt even realize they were there for so long till bucks place got pretty quiet from most ppl leaving. am i allowed to say that tim even gave two his number to call if he ever needed anything bc if all the free drinks two gave tim??? dudes loving dudes, u love to see it,,,

•as far as it goes w the curtis gang, they dont realize his bday passed till a few days later, darry took a look at that piece of paper and his heart dropped, he felt so bad about it and apologized. does two have any bad feelings over it???? nooo bc the gang made a surprise late bday party just for him and he got his cake :D

[boypussydilf]

wow?? idk where the influx of keroro asks are coming from so i wanna drop in something that ive observed as someone who used to be into keroro but now has only seen like. a few episodes (granted like two years back I only finished up until 100 or something) and now I just see some random episodes sometimes.

i might be observing this wrong but wouldnt Natsumi (and maybe any of the kids as well around keroro and his platoon's vicinity) be... affected (i mean not like how canon does it) but more so in terms of psychological damage???

Okay to me its a lot prevalent with Natsumi but I think she NEARLY DIES like once or twice because of the platoon's shenannigans. Do you remember that there was a disease that was used to kill specifically Natsumi?

What about that one uuuh weird episide where Natsumi and Keroro were stuck in some room with several models of themselves and like while they were about to escape some um water i guesd flooded into the room but keroro managed to escape but Natsumi was stuck there for like MAYBE A FEW FUCKING HOURS?? MINUTES??? HOW LONG WAS KERORO PASSED OUT IDK.

All Im saying is that I wish that people were more aware that these frogs can and will put these kids in danger, though idk what kinds of dangers that fuyuki experienced since im more focused on Natsumi.

Does AKI ever care that her child is constantly putting herself in danger to stop an invasion even in some occasional moments it nearly KILLS HER???????

Is she even incinvicble? build different? Shes a literal teenager trying to joggle sports, homework, and personal life, and maybe some personal issues as well in regards to her family but she believes that she can stay strong despite it all.

I think Natsumi needs therapy. I actually think she really does need it. Or maybe shes built different i dont know.

Does she ever think about the fact that she doesnt ever want her family to get hurt by the platoons constant stupidity? She cares about them alot. Or maybe im remembering wrong since I havent watched the entirety of the show, idk what do u think?

HI sorry i did not respond to this earlier i was too busy and high for a few days to say anything 💚 no ur right though ur right

LIKE. its a comedy series aimed at children so the canon answer is always going to be No they’re all fine. but to ME keroro is NOT a comedy series it is a GRIPPING CHARACTER DRAMA and NO ONE here is FINE. like those kids genuinely go through some insane shit and aki doesn’t give much of a fuck bc she’s quirky (i think realistically she would give more of a fuck like she’s not the best mom what with the “leaving her 13-14 year old daughter to be head of the household 85% of the time” but she Tries but again, comedy series for kids) . look natsumi hinata goes through so much every day of her life and yoshizaki will never address it but i think about it all the time. she has so much on her plate already being put in the Classic Eldest Daughter Position and having so many expectations on her at school because everybody loves her and thinks she’s the best and coolest ever and then ALIENS SHOW UP AT HER FUCKING HOUSE and keep WRECKING EVERYTHING and she keeps getting told she’s “EARTH’S FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE” SHE IS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL ?

basically yeah realistically she and many of the other characters would be a little fucked up by all of the things that have happened to them. here, take the basil boypussydilf mandated Keroro Gunso Therapy Chart

[falloutnewnobody]

what do u think vulpes, uylsses, and joshua's dynamic would be

okay so like idk how cannon aligned this is but idc the timelines and character ages in new vegas are so contradictory. also sorry i wrote so much i have wayyy to many thoughts about this

i feel like pre grand canyon, joshua really encouraged vulpes and ulysses to get along, thinking that they could learn a lot from each other, and given that they were both very socially closed off, the socialization would benefit them. They'd end up developing a sort of sibling-ish dynamic where despite the fact that they're bickering more often than not, they still have a lot of care and respect for each other. which leads to joshua kind of adopting Ulysses as his second psuedo-son.

ulysses and joshua dont get as close as joshua and vulpes, given that ulysses has a family and tribe and all that outside of the legion but he still looks up to joshua.

After the whole grand canyon thing, vulpes is a lot more torn up emotionally and starts pushing ulysses away, not wanting to go through the emotional pain of losing someone becuase they 'failed Ceasar," again.

they sort of grow apart after that, with the whole thing at dry wells making ulysses genuinely hate vulpes and entirely cut him off. vulpes doesnt really understand why ulysses had the reaction he did and is lowkey kind of hurt by it.

[lesbiannancytruther]

hey guys did you miss me i missed you

anyways rising clawing myself out of my grave to complain again because im reminded half of the st fandom is STUPID

i just saw someone say, fully and genuinely, that nancy constantly dismisses robin’s inputs, that that was ALL she did in the past seasons with steve and jonathan, and ultimately she just wants a ‘yes partner’

and honestly it’s kind of beyond me?? how someone can so drastically misinterpret a character and their relationships? how is one just so wrong?

obviously, they brought up ronance’s first meeting, and of course, the age old “she was so mean”, when. no she wasn’t. she was absolutely impatient, and even snappy, she didn’t have much patience for robin’s rambling, but there was never a point where she insulted her or demeaned her. matter of fact? that’s what ROBIN was doing.

of course she didn’t mean to! robin was just questioning her reasoning and rambling to someone who was exhausted, wanted to go alone in the first place, and has been consistently ignored and questioned for her reasoning the entire show.

can you see why, maybe, nancy wasn’t the most receptive to robin’s attempts at honest conversation? or attempts to clear the air? cause nancy genuinely doesn’t have any problems with robin beyond the fact that she’s distracting her from doing what she does best, and that she chose to come along only to call all of her ideas ‘a massive shot in the dark’

and you know, i’d FULLY get it if after this, nancy DIDN’T see the value that robin’s input had and just ignored her and didn’t listen to her, like you’re implying…, but then,… she actively chooses robin to break into a psychiatric ward with her…..? makes her a disguise and everything…??

now, considering robin’s very real tendency to ramble about things that are kinda personal, it makes sense that nancy is like “let me do the talking” and idk, if when robin started talking one of the first things she said to the person they’re trying to convince they’re academic scholars is “my BOOBS hurt” i would also! probably! be a little freaked!

and you know what? cause robin’s idea works…. nancy trusts robin more! learns more about her and her strengths! they high five afterwards did you miss that!!!!!

to the overall claim though that she wants a ‘yes partner’…. idk this is just so weird and tbh, so misogynistic😭 this ENTIRE show nancy has been doubted and questioned and ignored, half of the time she’s slowed down by people that are supposed to care about her because they just assume she’s boy crazy or she’s cheating or they just think she’s wrong!

and idk, it would be weird if nancy didn’t hate that? if at the first sign of someone who admits she’s a genius and sees the value in her input, it softens her?

wanting someone who doesn’t doubt you constantly is not wanting a ‘yes partner’. matter of fact, nancy DOESNT want a yes partner. if robin was a yes partner, nancy wouldn’t have found out half of the shit that she did, because robin provided new insight and handled situations in HER way. robin didn’t blindly agree with everything nancy did, and it only drew nancy closer to her

anti-ronancers i will never understand u fr

[cringelordofchaos]

Day 9 ofFreakblr month 2024 !!!!

Btw sorry for not doing anything for yesterday's prompt - firstly, i have no clue who's my least favorite. i love them all. like genuinely i dont hate a single character in this franchise. i dont tend to hate fictional characters if im gonna be honest, maybe its cause i lack critical thinking skills so i fail to acknowledge bad writing and such? idk. but yeah. Also, I was actually busy yesterday, and had no internet connection, and also my phone and laptop had zero battery and the power suddenly ran out (and my laptop doesnt work unless its plugged in lmaoo), so yeah just couldnt participate sorryyy

What I like/Dislike about the Jomies/Dromies

Hm! Ok! I haven't really thought about this subject before so I'm saying all of this unprepared

Well, let's start with what I like- they seem... realistic. genuine. authentic? like, idk, a real friend group. I know its such a weird thiing to point out. but although their personalities r obviously exaggarated cuz its a piece of fiction and theyre more notable / interesting that way, i swear theyre like picture perfect copies of my middle school bullies? though that doesnt make me dislike them i just find them silly. as some have said before they do have genuine chemistry as a friend group. Obviously not healthy since jakes been lying about who he is out of fear they (primarily drew) would tease him for it, and drews possesiveness issues, and ALSO HENRIAM nottelling drew about Zoey cheating on him when they knew (cuz sheblackmailed them), but it stillfeels realistic andits fun to see them on screen. theyre the type of friends who insult and tease each other all the time but its cuz they love each other. i LOVE that henry n liam literally just read each others minds all the time. i like how they bully the music club - there i said it. literally the show wouldnt exist otherwise. or it would but itd be painfully boring. i like how, despite them being more antagonitic forces, we still see how they interact and talk outside of how they hurt ppl. like theyre actual teenagers w their own interests and personalities and struggles not just bullies in a high school music (well.. they r but not JUST that? in my personal opinion). also, if were counting zoey, maria n lia? as the jomies (but DEFINITELY not as of S2), then yeah i love them too, though maria needs more screen time and character if rosy wants me to care abt her more (sorry maria i just. idk anything abt u besides the fact that u hang out w zoey)

Something I dislike - maybeeeeee the lack of individual friendships represented? like yeah we know about drake and henriam, but otherwise pairings like driam, jiam, jenry, drenry are kinda unexplored. Drew feels like jst a third wheel with henriam? which makes sense tbh, ik what its like lmao. and yeah there r hints of stuff individual relaptionships between them, like that jake and henry potentially watch anime together every saturday at henries (though thats up to debate). Though again i dont REALLY dislike this, it does feel realistic ig but ig it wouldve been cool to shed a bit more spotlight on individual relationships besides henriam n drake before Drew essentially dumped Jake(meaning he probably wont interact w henry or liam anynmore). also i want more of Henry n Liam, beyond them simply being comic relief (and there have been hints of it before, itjust needs to be put on front)

@31days-of-freakblr

[sofyflora98]

You dont have to answer if you dont want. But i stumbled upon an old post about Mu Qing up holding classism and that its Hua Cheng should be the face for it and i just felt conflicted? I tried to be open minded. And the big example they used is him kicking out of the army which imo kinda odd… to say.. But its combined with the fact Mu Qing called Hua Cheng a liar and he obviously didnt want Hua Cheng tagging along and he let Feng Xin with a broken arm carrying Hua Cheng . tbh, im fine with open intrepretation of that.

We all know Mu Qing doesnt have soft personality and hes prickly. I definitely do think in that liar scene, i saw it more as Mu Qing just being truthful than empathatic as he analyze the situation which i guess fine, MQ theres obviously time and place for that as hes scared and dirty. But even if his family condition was bad, based on how someone fixed up his clothes he could have thought he might at least have another person who does care which was why he even mentioned it in the first place. Anything is possible after all. Although, i did get confused whether did he know the info background on him because XL did overhear the mean things the kids yell at him about him being kicked our. Anyways, it wasnt as he was like no this kid cant stay. Unless theres a line that i missed. And he did try to carry Hong Er but hong er wouldnt let him which he did show hesitation to do it or not afterwards.

And how i view the army situation is even though it is indeed that youth dying rate is higher in war and Hua Cheng did die lol. But its also mixed with Mu Qing’s need to not want to be replaced. This man’s mind never rest lol. Which i get it. Hes very interesting for that. After all, his core character is all about being a survivor. But to say that he upholds classism is fucking deranged. Like Guoshi is right there for ruining his mortal life lol. Funny enough, they certainly dont mention about Feng xin (though hes in rage as Mq was frustrated and being rude with xl but still that was uncalled for) who reminded him to know his place. I brought FX up because in one of the comments of that post they were saying at least FX acted with good will. Lol okay. We definitely can see you not being genuine about the topic. At least be consistent.

And Hua Cheng beats classism by creating another system of his own? ive seen people say its different in ghost City as its really based on mutual beneficial agreement and all especially with Yin Yu. But my guy…. ..you mean him as the King? Bruh its not as simple as that 😭 The heaven is indeed full of classist Gods which is why they look down on LW and MQ and QYZ. But the system to get there isnt, as long as you have the abilities, hard work and luck. Idk like feel free to talk about Hua Cheng overcoming society classism and rise to the top and all. But i find that answer to be so simplisitic and not well thought out?

Also he isnt mentioned alot with that Topic because his narrative isnt strongly focused on that??? Its very clear hes about devotion to his God and the strength he does to be the best so he can take care of Xie Lian. And hes the main character too at that 😭 take it up with MXTX for making Mu Qing a side character, story to strongly ties around it. His insecurity is because of that too.

And the funniest part imo is to Hua Cheng, his insecurity is his appearance - i mean u can still make an argument that is rooted in him being born under a bad star and the classism that he faces over it. But still. Similar at its core but different hurt.

Anywyas, idk i feel the argument is just so???? I just need to rant lol

But how do you feel about the revision on him kicking out Hong’er because of guoshi words thaf hes a misfortune that will bring bad luck to XL? That i would like to know.

I think I know what post you're talking about, and I agree with you. The argument that Hua Cheng is the one who "fought" classism and that Mu Qing is upholding in it doesn't stand, in my opinion. First of all, because Hua Cheng's supposed victory over classism doesn't even take place in the world of the living, and Ghost City is everything but an egalitarian place. Which isn't his fault, of course, because a single person cannot change the world. Then, again, his plot in the novel doesn't mainly revolve around classism the same way Mu Qing's does. I'd say that his plot is more about marginalisation and abuse, even if social class was obviously a fundamental part of his condition.

Regarding Mu Qing, literally, unless he somehow became a revolutionary leader, what could he even do? He had one chance to get away from misery and he took it. Gods are not allowed to interfere with the mortal world more than what concerns their duties toward their worshippers. The heavens are a classist world, because they reflect the human world, since all gods used to be human, but I see no instance where Mu Qing even remotely upheld classism. A good part of his lines are specifically to complain about how others are classist, so it really doesn't make any sense. I think that the issue of Hong'er being kicked out of the army has an ambiguity, and the desire to keep a child (who by the way didn't have the age to be in the army) far from war, and his fear of being replaced and possible jealousy, coexist. Human emotions aren't a mono-dimensional thing.

I don't really have an opinion about the revised version, but having read the first version years ago, I'm more attached to it.

[gayspock]

yeh last one

my honest truth is i have never gone back on a thought ive had during whatever the fuck you want to call my little Moments as it were. like ive never had a screaming, crying, throw-up fit about how much i really need to hurt myself and looked back on it and thought i dont any more or regretted feeling like that. idk. embarrassment over the fact i might , when lucid enough to do so, end up going on a little whinge on here (ironically as iam now). cuz god shut up. but i dont rlly take any of that shit back ever. like i can carry that certtainty fucking with me that nothing ive ever been upset over has been something ivve come to think otherwiseon. and idk idk i say this bc idk. something something. i think abt how so often its like yeppp its a mental breakdown, but fucking is it. like is it actually. is it ever. am i irrational. i feel like the only ways in which its truly irrational isthinking it mattered enough to get that worked up in the first place like its ever going to mean something or going to be different . io genuinely wonder how many hours ive spent of my life just spiralling how its never meant anything how it keeps just getting worse how its never going to matter how much it hurts to anyone at all but me, really, how amny times have i been to the brink or tried really hard or done any number of fucking things and its never made a single difference not even slightyl for so so long. and the only thing there is between that and this is jsut pushing it forward to tomorrow and it sitll doesnt help im still not like a fucking person or whatever . i ts just been non fucking stop it never fucking stops no matter what i do or try or how long i do something or try something and people wont even believe it . youre not doing it enough youre not trying enough and you keep on doing it you keep on but more and more doors shut inyourface and you still can neverjust find anything . anything at all. not a single fucking thing even for once and youre not astrong fucking person or whatever i dont fucking know you just want to curl up and die like why do i keep doing this what difference is it ever going to make where am i going im going nowhere and who for who fucking for for ME i dont tink ive ever been worth it to anyone and certainly not to myself and even if it was i cant get anywhere and i dont think i mean anything and i dont know i keep thinking would it happen if like even/ for second to have something thats worth it for a second like o if i wasnt entirely alone if it was real if something jst. it doesnt even have to be a passion ro an interest just something that isnt fucking nothing butif you had that you wouldnt be here in the first place . thats the conceit of it. im not fucking depressed im not fucking clinically unwell im jsut a fucking useless piece of shit and no i cannot fucking cope with that its fucking horrible theres nothing and i cant manage it i cant manage being alone every wakinghour of my life i cant imagine feeling so isolated and alienated and doing things on my own i cant manage the constant fucking failures and inadequacy i cant

and i think . respectfully its fucking reasonable to want to killmyself because why why why the fuck would i want to be alive thats not a fucking chemical imbalance wat is the fucking point and theres nothing you can fucking Say to unfuck that thats the natural fucking rejection that respectfully everyone else can also fcking understand because god knows i dont know i dont know whats wrong with me or why i just cant do enough to do anything i dont fucking know i dont know why im never enough for anythingand . and what ma i trying oto prove and i dont know why it matters i dont know why i keep caring as if it fucking matters, man, thats the embarrassing thig that really is it i feel so fucking ashamed of myself because i feel liek im still setting ym expectations so so fucking hgih for myself getting upset in the fucking first place lik e come on dude its long long long past the point why come on just shut up and you know like god what are you doing iits so fucking desperate and pathetic to keep fucking going and i wish i never existed or whatever i wish or whatever ugh or whatever who saidthat oh was it me i dont fucking know i hat ebeing alone thats what i hate the most i hate how its just alwayslike this i hate being near people sometimes i hate fucking talking to people because it justfeels like everything i cant fucking manage all of the time i keep getting so so fucking upset over dumb fucking shit getting so fucking sad and jealous and miserable and its not fucking fair i jsut i dont know why eveyrone else has had something or someone even jsut once i feel like im just floating through everyone and even thats such a fucking stretch i just . i cant do it any more i feel so ugly adnd unwanted and i feel like i cant do anything to ever help it i feel like i jsutcant blamepeople i can tblame anything but myself for existing and ijust feel like the only way to fix it is out and WHATEVER

[tadpolesonalgae]

Okie i'll copy you for a bit a do the quote for each comment thing so i dont get lost hehe

I don’t know? I think to us as readers of the series I kind of agree, but then he cooperated with the alliance, and also I’m on the side that if anyone should be able to see through his mask it should be the IC since hello Rhysand? UTM? CoN???? The idea of a mask/persona???

honestly this is one of the million problems with acotar because yeah when i say the ic has no way of knowing that eris isn't all bad i mean sjm keeps writing the story like that but you're right it doesn't make any sense. i mean even apart from eris doing literally what rhys has been doing since forever, how am i suppose to believe that mor knows all truth or whatever her powers even are and that rhys is a mind reader, and azriel and amren are supposed to be able to read people so well, that azriel's shadows see things that others don't but they still think eris is as bad as beron. that and both eris and mor kinda have made it seem like there's something else there (i genuinely think sjm planned on making mor and eris mates or something but then people started calling her out on having no diversity and she made mor gay out of nowhere). im also pretty sure its common knowledge in the ic that yes eris dumped her over the border without any other help which sucks but he didn't actually hurt her (that was kier) and one look at the autumn court would be enough to tell them that mor would have been hurt even worse if beron had seen her so how did they not put 2 and 2 together. i guess he still hurt her enough and as her friends they probably wont ever forgive him but it doesnt make sense logically for them to still think eris is the same as beron

This might sound hypercritical or conflictive but I’m not writing/don’t want to write Mor to be a bitch? I like Mor and while it might add to the angst and drama to have her be cruel to reader I just wouldn’t be able to commit to it 😭 In my mind it was Mor acting on the hurt reader has caused her and while it was unnecessary, emotions should be let out?

im sorry to say but mor was in fact a bitch but i get what you're saying like she's justified in her anger (in a way) but yeah trying to make someone who just attempted suicide feel bad about themselves is beyond bitchy. but im saying this as someone who doesn't really like mor most times (to me there's no depth to her character tbh like she was just there as the obligatory female friend for feyre, if you compare how developed cass and az are to mor... yeah she just falls flat idk if its bc cass and az will become the main characters in their books and mor might not get one or if its just not so great writing coming from miss maas once more)

Azriel calling Mor out??? After some of the things he’s said to reader????

i feel like this could be a good turning point though. like imagine azriel heard it and calls her out and has to admit not only to himself but out loud about all the shitty uncalles for comments he's thrown reader's way but even while admitting to it, deciding that he wants to be better to her and calling out mor on her bullshit is one way of doing it. also calling out mor is especially significant because of the whole he was in love with her for 500 years (i refuse to go with sjm's shitty ass "he loved her for 500 years and one day just stopped" bullshit - if she was a decent writer who cared a little more about character growth and plot instead of superficial romance tropes and smut she would write a whole book for azriel with no love interest but of him finding his own way and letting go of his love for mor that lasted for 500 fucking years before ever thinking of making him fall for someone else anyway i digress)

That would be so ooc of reader but I think it would be funny (in theory) for reader to suddenly do a 180° and act with them how she does around Eris and snap something smart and sassy back 😭🤭

i hope the ic gets to see her being herself with eris though and realize they really dont know shit about her

But then also idk how much the ‘thinking loudly’ was amplified by Rhys and Feyre’s bond, so whether it would even apply to reader in that way?

honestly sjm refuses to explain anyone's powers or even how magic works atp so who knows

also i saw another ask of you going in on cc and i would like to join a little. i have to start by saying i havent read the books bc i didn't do anything wrong but from the bits I've seen her writing really has been going downhill and it shows the most in the cc books. i never thought she was an amazing writer tbh like acotar reads to me like a teenager book almost but with smut so it's supposed to be ya and if it wasnt for fanfic i wouldn't be here or even remember the books. i read the first one and already had to skim through some of it but then the 2nd one was a bit more promising, unfortunately the 3rd book was going downhill by the chapter, i dont even like to talk about acosf because how is that supposed to be a book about healing when everyone that's supposed to love nesta treats her like shit and most of it is just smut that does nothing at all for the plot. so im not surprised that not only has cc been having a lot of these critics but also that sjm doubled down on the smut in that book. i also heard some of the characters are kind of copy paste from acotar but again i havent read the books. i honestly dont even know if i'll read any other acotar book because they keep getting worse and whether elain ends up with az or lucien or az with gwyn or elain, i dont think sjm will be able to pull a good book out of it when there's this big mess between all of the characters i mentioned plus her insistence on making the ic act like assholes to each other, creating a found family to make it shitty is just dumb in my opinion, but i know for a fact im not gonna read any of the other sjm series (even though tog is supposed to be the best one) and even if i did i wouldnt touch the modern fantasy if it was the last book on earth tbh. technology ends up taking a lot of the magic out of fantasy and obviously im reading fantasy because i like magical aspects. one of the reasons the later books fell off for me too tbh, she started modernizing things too much (like leggings and cans of soup?? when there are no factories or anything?) like the spring court had so many fun magic things and then velaris was a city with clubs, the moonstone palace and the hewn city felt more magical at times than the court of dreams.

i also agree that one of the biggest problems with the later books is the amount of smut. i like smut as much as the next person and dont mind reading pwp but in fanfictions not in books i pay for and that are written by professional authors. sjm tries less and less to write good characters and to keep up a plot because she knows her fantasy books were one of the first of the "spicy fantasy romance" to become popular and she's not losing that place and smut sells so who cares about a good story? definitely not her.

and with the bryce thing you're absolutely right, from what i've read she acts like a petulant selfish child most of the time and correct me if i'm wrong but she's not supposed to be like 19 like feyre so she's a grown ass woman. and yeah i definitely think sjm made her plus size because again she got called out for having no diversity in her books but treats it really weirdly. im someone who may not be plus size but pretty close to it and the way sjm writes bryce definitely gives me weird vibes. what i've seen most and even some people talk about is that a lot of characters keep mentioning how they're attracted to bryce, like sjm doesnt expect us ymto believe bryce is really hot by the descriptions she's made unless she keeps reminding us that people wanna fuck her. idk it may just be a bit of my trauma reading into it

im sorry if this ran too long im a bit drunk apologies - 🧶

Warnings: CC spoilers!, plus a little more slander, please consider looking away if you like the series! 🧡💛

‘when i say the ic has no way of knowing that eris isn't all bad i mean sjm keeps writing the story like that’

Right? Please miss Maas I want everyone to get along and be happy, let the drama between Eris and Mor be solved so that everyone can be happy and peaceful 😭

‘how am i suppose to believe that mor knows all truth or whatever her powers even are and that rhys is a mind reader, and azriel and amren are supposed to be able to read people so well, that azriel's shadows see things that others don't but they still think eris is as bad as beron.’

Also we’re kind of kept in the dark about specifics too? Mor’s just said to have ‘truth’ but what does that mean!! Can she force people to tell the truth? Can she see things in their true form?? Has she come out of the cave and seen the sun and the shadows it casts???? (Plato’s cave reference 😎)

Like I can understand to a degree why Rhys doesn’t look into people’s minds and appreciate that part of his character—that while he is morally greyish he has his own rules if that makes sense? He has his own perception of right and wrong which makes him interesting? But I might be confusing canon with fanon here 🫣

And yes I can see how miss Maas has written the IC to be flawed and Eris even says how Rhys is blinded by his love for his family so he has trouble seeing truths or discrepancies in those around him?

‘(i genuinely think sjm planned on making mor and eris mates or something but then people started calling her out on having no diversity and she made mor gay out of nowhere).’

Haha I hadn’t thought of it like that!

I’m still unsure what I’d choose between no representation vs. bad representation? On one hand it’s kind of disheartening/irritating to see sexuality used as such a cheap plot point? Unless miss Maas expands on it properly it’ll feel kind of useless to me? But then on the other hand representation is representation, like at least it’s becoming more prevalent in general media? I think another angle is some of the issues with acotar wouldn’t be as problematic as they are if the book series wasn’t so popular? But because it’s liked by so many people it’s also under much more intensive scrutiny when I don’t know if Miss Maas even planned for it to be taken so seriously as it is in some places? Not that the analysis is a bad thing, though, it’s interesting to see different things pointed out if I’d missed them the first time? (Particularly with Emerie and her descriptions of beauty? I hadn’t noticed it in the first read through but then saw some other people pointing it out, as well as other things?)

‘but he didn't actually hurt her (that was kier) and one look at the autumn court would be enough to tell them that mor would have been hurt even worse if beron had seen her so how did they not put 2 and 2 together.’

I suppose while Eris didn’t hurt her, Mor was in an extremely vulnerable position and the with Eris already being from the autumn court it would be easy to make the assumption that he would have inherited the beliefs in his father? Also with the saying of ‘if you’re not part of the solution you’re part of the problem’—I think that’s contextual, but for the sake of the point it’s making, I’m using it here—Eris didn’t do anything to help Mor that we know of, and also according to Mor’s narrative Eris said some cruel things, but then on the other hand since Eris hasn’t done or said anything exactly to contradict what Mor’s said so I’m not going to blame the IC for being protective and standing with her on what was likely an extremely traumatising moment for her? Honestly I guess it would be kind of weird and shitty if they doubted her to be honest 😭

‘im sorry to say but mor was in fact a bitch but i get what you're saying like she's justified in her anger (in a way)’

I expressed myself wrong, sorry 😭

Mor definitely said something bad, but I’m not going to write her in cbmthy to continue making horrid comments like that when nobody else is around, it was kind of a one-off thing so hopefully she won’t be a bitch in the rest of the story, just temporarily 🤭🧡💛

‘yeah trying to make someone who just attempted suicide feel bad about themselves is beyond bitchy.’

Hard agree, I might even have to say it was a little uncalled for 🫣😳🫢

‘to me there's no depth to her character tbh like she was just there as the obligatory female friend for feyre, if you compare how developed cass and az are to mor...’

I think in the books/canon she’s a bit contradictory? Maybe? With how harsh she is with Nesta and how gentle she is with Feyre? I can understand it I suppose, thinking of it through Mor’s perception, but it does sometimes feel like Mor was added just to be the one to add drama to the books? There might be something to say about how Mor and Amren are written as female characters as opposed to the batboys who we’re supposed to like and are romantic interests? Fanon Mor though 🧡💛🫂😭

‘like imagine azriel heard it and calls her out and has to admit not only to himself but out loud about all the shitty uncalles for comments he's thrown reader's way’

Okay so this is something I (maybe unnecessarily? I’m genuinely not sure) want to stretch out for a bit and give it time so it doesn’t magically disappear? With Azriel facing some of the things he’s said to reader and why they were so hurtful to her? I think him knowing she tried to kill herself will speed things up, but only to a certain degree since there’s still a lot they don’t know about one another?

‘i refuse to go with sjm's shitty ass "he loved her for 500 years and one day just stopped" bullshit’

I guess one might be able to argue he was naturally coming out of it already but it there’s no evidence to really support that? I guess it would be difficult to implement it though due to the nature of where the story started and who it follows, but it would have made more sense in my opinion if we somehow got to see Az beginning to lose feelings for Mor, but because that would require something to be set before Feyre came along I guess it would be impossible 😭

‘i hope the ic gets to see her being herself with eris though and realize they really dont know shit about her’

They probably will, however reader is the one who intentionally or not does change how she acts around people? To a certain extent reader does try to act more ‘appropriately’ around them? Like she would never speak to Rhys the way she speaks sometimes to Eris 😭 Though I can imagine it might be funny if she accidentally did and then slapped her hand over her mouth because she hadn’t meant to 😭

‘i never thought she was an amazing writer tbh like acotar reads to me like a teenager book almost but with smut’

I was wondering, did you know anything about acotar before you started reading it? I went in blind since a friend recommended it to me, so I had no idea about how popular it was or anything, but I can see how if someone had heard how hyped up people were about it and then read it, it might fall flat and be super disappointing?

‘but also that sjm doubled down on the smut in that book.’

I know I feel quite strongly that Bryce and Hunt didn’t really have that much of an emotional connection compared to their physical one? Though to be fair I also love seeing emotional vulnerability so maybe it was just a difference in taste? If you’re someone who liked that kind of lust-fuelled romance that’s fine, but personally it wasn’t my cup of tea :/

It also felt like when Bryce and Hunt introduced that ‘no sex’ rule (I think maybe in CC2) it was Miss Maas realising she hadn’t built up and kind of tension between them and had jumped into sex way too quickly and so was trying to dial it back which irritated me? I skipped over I think all of the sex scenes in CC2 because I just wanted them to hurry along and get back to the plot? Also I feel like Miss Maas was trying to make them kind of freaky to appeal to the smutty side, like with the dry humping, the electricity (I think a vibrator might have also been used but I skimmed the scenes so I can’t remember) it was just too much for me when I wanted to read about what was happening and wasn’t interested in their relationship at all 😭

‘i honestly dont even know if i'll read any other acotar book because they keep getting worse’

I know I won’t be reading another CC book and will just wait for someone to very kindly write a summary for it, but I’m desperately hoping she won’t mess up another acotar book 😭

If she does though, isn’t it such a relief we have fanfiction? 😭

‘like the spring court had so many fun magic things and then velaris was a city with clubs, the moonstone palace and the hewn city felt more magical at times than the court of dreams.’

I absolutely adore that factor in fantasy books! I particularly like Holly Black’s version of fae, where they live off the land more and are much more tricky to deal with? More folklore-esque, and I wish we saw more of that kind of thing in acotar 😭 I agree the Spring Court with the will-o-wisps was so lovely—To Old Gods is one of my favourite pieces in that aspect and I want to write and read more of that kind of ancient/slightly mythical/sometimes eldritchy magic 😭

‘i also agree that one of the biggest problems with the later books is the amount of smut. i like smut as much as the next person and dont mind reading pwp but in fanfictions not in books i pay for and that are written by professional authors.’

I used to enjoy reading smut in books (I only started reading regularly and realising I enjoyed it in the past four years) because it was new and exciting but I think now if it’s in professionally written books I absolutely adore it and author has nailed emotional connection? And yes, pwp in fanfiction? Great! Love it! But the amount of smut in CC was unbelievable and I suppose that might be how you feel about acosf? I have to admit I liked it but I think it’s heavily to do with enjoying the characters 😭 Bryce and Hunt in CC? I don’t want to read about that, please spare my eyes 😭😞

‘so who cares about a good story? definitely not her.’

I think I disagree with you here? Maybe? I can’t remember the CC books in particularly great detail? 😭 I think actually for the most part I did find the plot parts a little slow, and Bryce and Hunt made it worse for me, however I loved the ending to CC2, and I enjoyed the asteri story but I think the power levels got out of control? (Don’t even get me started on how Bryce literally doesn’t earn her magic, it infuriates me so much!!! Feyre, Aelin, and Nesta all went through some kind of training and Bryce literally just touches a stone then inherits starlight and has the audacity to say she worked for it? Babes, no.)

And actually with miss Maas being lazy in writing—her using a pill so that Bryce can understand the acotar world was so obviously a deus ex machina. It was so cheap and basic there wasn’t a single amount of thought that went into it.

‘and correct me if i'm wrong but she's not supposed to be like 19 like feyre so she's a grown ass woman.’

Yup. She’s twenty-three 😐

‘what i've seen most and even some people talk about is that a lot of characters keep mentioning how they're attracted to bryce, like sjm doesnt expect us ymto believe bryce is really hot by the descriptions she's made unless she keeps reminding us that people wanna fuck her.’

Honestly that wasn’t that big of an issue for me? Like I get it’s fantasy so I can excuse every love interest and even some who aren’t being attracted to the fmc, but I did definitely have an issue with how lust-fuelled and physical it was 😶‍🌫️

Like with Feyre and Tarquin it’s made clear they’re both attractive/beautiful people but I got the impression that ultimately they liked (?) one another for who they were? To an extent they had a kind of understanding and felt more honest?

‘idk it may just be a bit of my trauma reading into it’

Not sure how much it will help but I’m sending you internet hugs :/ 🫂🫂🫂

‘im sorry if this ran too long im a bit drunk apologies - 🧶’

Haha, don’t apologise it was fun getting to discus all these things with you!! 🧡💛

[dykeyote]

PLEASE TALK ABOUT YVONNE !!!! ifeel like i barely know her character

@acollectionofcuriousreblogs HEAHEHEHE YES WIN okay so this will moooatly be abt specificlaly yvonne and her friendship with jedidiah . id love to analyze yvonne on her own but its a little difficult at the moment with the material given to us (mayfield please give yvonne stuff to do outside of interact w her male friends im begging) so i have to analyze them thru the lens of their dynamic w jedidiah . but it will go into a lot of what that Reveals abt yvonne as a person also (: and what i think they have in common!! so so basically i think an underrepresented aspect of yvonnes charavter is that theyr .... pretty much the Only person besides sydney to expressly convey that she Misses jedidiah . and that she wants to spend more time with him . yes him and joshua seemed to have been maybe-friends (although they both have a kinda noticable disdain for each other and joshua says jeddie hated him so idk) as well but theres a clear difference marked between their investment in this, exemplified by lines like

this interaction, which carries the weight that while joshua wants to help Sydney, yvonne Specifically is the one that wants to help jedidiah . theres a clear contrast in the phrasing used - joshua's desire to help sydney is emphasized, and yvonnes desire to help jedidiah is a separate one that is emphasized separately. another example of this would be the fact that yvonnes college story is a story about Jedidiah, and joshua's attempts to relate to jedidiah (referencing how he used to be sydneys roommate, as well as the hotdog story) are both stories about Sydney. yes, joshua is trying to reach out to jedidiah as well, but there is a clear implication created in multiple ways that yvonne is significantly closer to him. which means a Lot when the amount of people who are significantly close to jedidiah is Slim. and again, most of the emotional moments of connection that attempt to bring jedidiah out of his shell are from yvonne also:

as well as her being as far as im aware . the Only person besides sydney Ever to express a desire to be with jedidiah more and be friends with him in the present tense, and imply that she misses him:

again, this contrast between joshua and yvonnes level of closeness with jedidiah is drawn!! yvonne says we are worried about you, but i like chatting to you. i want to do it more. which is fascinating!! why do we not talk abt this more!! jedidiahs avoidance doesnt only hurt sydney, it hurts yvonne as well - we know that its been bothering them all summer, and theyve been talking to joshua about it:

WHICH IS SOMETHING THAT IS ABLE TO GET THROUGH TO JEDIDIAH!!!!!! i think jedidiah analyses need to analyze his relationship to yvonne more genuinely . yvonne talking to jedidiah and telling him that hes hurting them is Able to get through to him to some small degree, gets him to acknowledge his behavior - i think that speaks a lot to how much their relationship stands strong, because again, like yvonne says, jedidiah does not like confiding in anyone.

and speaking of confiding!! jedidiah does the Most emotional soulbaring in this episode to yvonne (and joshua yeah but again ive shown earlier that the emphasis is a lot less on joshuas friendship) than he does to Anyone besides sydney or his mother. jedidiah talks about Deep rooted feelings that he feels horrible about having with them. Jedidiah Talks About Things He Feels Guilty About. that goes against so much of what weve seen of his character!!!! so much of jedidiahs time is spent avoiding confronting his guilt, avoiding confiding in anyone, locking himself and his emotions away - i think jeddie opening up in this scene speaks Volumes to how much his friendship with yvonne means to him, i really do think that. the fact that jeddie and yvonne arent listed on each others relationship sections in the wiki is a Crime but i digress - they clearly care about each other

but Why . this is a lot of shit about their friendship Now, but why do they feel so close to each other? what brings them together? yvonnes dedication to hanging out with jedidiah and bringing him out of his shell abd worrying about him is a pattern of behavior:

which we know from this scene here - yvonne has wanted to be close and have fun and hang out with jedidiah since college, this isnt a situation where shes just worried about a guy she knew in college being weird - they have Always liked jedidiah and wanted to hang out with him. they genuinely like yhe guy!!!!! i keep reemphasizing this but i feel like their friendship is really underanalyzed.

but again . that doesnt explain Why theyr friends . this is a lot less evidence based and a lot more me interpreting yvonnes character in my silly little brain, but i think it largely comes from the fact that theyre Similar and yvonne reaches out to that . obviously they both have a common interest in video games lol but im more talking about the fact that they both seem to be generally kind of bad at confiding their emotions in others? i get the feeling that yvonne doesnt like being vulnerable, particularly from this back and forth:

my interpretation of this is that yvonne doesnt Like sharing their emotions with people other than joshua - it doesnt come naturally for them, just like it doesnt for jedidiah. expressing that you miss a friend of yours whos been isolating himself isnt an extremely embarrassing thing to say, and joshua isnt even saying That - just that yvonnes been Bothered by it. but thats enough to get them frazzled and on the defensive, trying to get joshua to shut up. i think yvonne and jedidiah both have difficulties with expressing their emotions to others and i think thats why yvonne is drawn to jeddie - they both have this same shared difficulty, and its comforting to be with people with similar struggles to you. i think we can even sort of see this in how, like i mentioned earlier, yvonne has been waiting to tell jedidiah this All Summer - but didnt tell him in this moment. why didnt they? why are they practicing this whole monologue at all? i think its because emotional vulnerability is something they struggle with, and jedidiah is the same way. they can connect over that.

also i just think yvonne thinks jedidiahs fun and they like being around people they find fun!! i can do all this analysis but i just genuinely think they like each other!! and jedidiah seems to joke about with yvonne in a similar way to sydney on occasion, so i think theres a reason to think its reciprocal. i also think that the combination of their similarities and differences clicks in a way rhat makes them enjoy each other a lot - on the one hand, jedidiah is nervous and skittish and extremelt christian, and yvonne is a quote "fun-loving troublemaker" (can you tell i read the wiki a lot for this post) and a party goth. being w people who are different from you is fun, but at their core, theyre pretty similar - they have a common interest in video games which is really important in a friendship, they both have difficulty being vulnerable with their emotions (although yvonne seems to have a healthy outlet in joshua and seems to make much more of an attempt to overcome this flaw than jedidiah does, so i actually think yvonne would be a reallt healthy friendship for jedidiah going forwards as i think theyr someone who could be helpful and a good example to follow), and they honestly both seem to have a similar sense of humor. idk that might just be the sense of humor of the show but they seem to have good rapport with each other with dry jokes when jedidiah loosens up a little.

also i couldnt really fit this into the flow but:

i think this scene is fun i like that they had Adventures together and i like that jedidiah says he "didnt know how to talk to people" past tense as if this isnt ABSOLUTELY still the case. but also the fact that yvonne was the best thing about college for him?? SO sweet but also makes me SO sad that their friendship isnt so close anymore. jedidiah really cares about her!!!! i couldnt fit this into the flow properly but i think its important to notice that jedidiah absolutely cares for yvonne too!!!!!

thank u for ur time . they r one of my favorite relationships in the entire show and by far my favorite friendship

[nonclassyparty]

Ive been a silent reader of yours all this time but I have to speak up on this. I'm sorry but I just can't agree with this "San has done bad things but that's okay because so did others" that's like saying this murderer is horrible for killing innocent people but it's not really THAT bad(?) because there are others who committed murder too I don't know if I'm explaining it right because English is not my first language lol. Regardless if others have done bad things, it doesn't justify San's shitty deeds. One's bad deeds should never be downgraded/downplayed just because there are others who do bad things too so I find it pointless to bring up others like y/n seonghwa wooyoung etc when we're talking about San and the things he's done or why people think he's irredeemable. Also maybe because I've dealt with someone irl like starring role San and that's why his character is just irredeemable to me. Like I don't care how bad he feels after for doing what he did, the impact of his actions is still 10x more hurtful than whatever remorse or guilt he felt and the fact that he KEEPS doing it despite being self aware makes it even more worse than it already is actually. I wish we can have a conversation about people's terrible deeds without bringing up others to either make justifications or comparisons.

Like if a person killed somebody then feels guilty about it but then does it again. It just doesn't make sense to me (I know San is not a killer lol but I'm trying to make an analogy and this the best my non English speaking ass can come up with)

For me San is an asshole point blank period and if we're being for real, a person like him who grew up with that mindset can't change in as little as two years. Before anybody come here and say i'm team mingi and thats why I'm saying this, actually I'm team nobody. I'm just here to read this very entertaining and we'll written au 🥰

ouuuuuuu i love this, had to get a drink before i started typing. and don't worry your english is fine everything is great, i get what you're saying. soooo let's talk;

first of all, i need all of us to be on the same page here so let me ask you guys (all of you that actively participate in these little quiz nights 😭), what is it that san did wrong exactly? and i don't mean "he did this wrong so he doesnt deserve to be with yn" we're not talking about that and frankly don't care about, its what did he do wrong that makes him a bad irredeemable character? i'm genuinely curious about this.

while writing this story, i can think of two instances where he actually fucked up but still not to the point where its not redeemable.

you say bad deeds of the other characters shouldn't be brought up when talking about san's? and i disagree! you know why? it's not bc i'm trying to downplay his wrongdoings ( or trying to justify them, if it ever seemed like that then i probably didnt word myself right) or bc it's "Oh san my poor meow meow he can't be the bad guy!!!!!" but because all of the characters that i've compared him to are halfway ( if not the whole way) already forgiven by the readers and why is that? what makes them more redeemable than him and where is the line drawn when it comes to forgiveness? again we are not talking about relationship-with-y/n forgiven but "he's not the villain" forgiven bc apart from y/n's mother i don't think there are any other villains 😭

(and this is not defending san, he is an asshole i'll be the first one to say it bc i literally created him😭 but that's simply not all that there is to him bc as people we are not one dimensional. no one is all good and all bad, there's no such thing unless we're talking about idk psychopaths or something lol and just bc we haven't seen san's good towards y/n doesn't mean there's no good at all. i've already written all his parts for the next chapter so this is just a formal notice that i won't be trying to make him more appealing so he can get sympathy points or something and i can say that he won't be asking for forgiveness either but he will be in a huge chunk of the chapter and for all of you that plan on just blocking out everything he says well...u wont be having a good time😭)

[cowchickenbeefpork]

honestly it does'nt even take that much to rewrite that arc, all the writers had to do with something like that is not side with ed. they acted like he wasnt being selfish with kristen when he was, you dont even need to make him out to be purposely malicous in this arc, all the writers had to do for this arc to not be awful is paint edward to be unreliable prespective wise.

Edward in the show has been shown to have empathy for others multiple times ( when Oswald's eye gets blown up, when he thought Riddler was going to hurt Lee, even after he realized he killed Kristen he started to cry and it's implied he cried until he passed out ) so the writing in the show feels more like they were trying to write him have a weird version of a paranoid-schizoid mindset ( something quite common in cluster b personality disorders, this is what causes splitting and it also is the mindset 6 month olds have) instead of him being a psychopath ( though the show couldn't decide between which one of these he was, which is one of the many reasons its hard to understand where they were going with him as a character) the show wanted it to be that he was both a heartless monster who knows his actions hurt others and doesnt care AND him being actually empathetic but doesnt want to be so he rewrites any wrong he has done to be justified by making the other person be the true aggressor, you can't have both

his whole thing about love being useless after he killed Kristen feels more like he just found a way to make himself not be a horrid person in this situation, he just found someone else to blame for his actions instead of accepting the fact it was his fault she died. he cant admit that he only liked the idea of her and chased atfer her becuase he wanted to feel nice and normal, instead of genuine love and care which was not selfish. ( i do think he cared a little for her but most of his care for her was selfish, the show acting like it wasnt is shocking.) the ultimate sin he did in this arc shouldve have been the fact he killed her, it shouldve been the fact he somehow found a way to justify his actions because he didn't want to feel bad about her death and reduced her down to just a object which helped him become a better man. she was only a object to him from the beggining, he wasnt trying to make her be that when they were dating but he sure continues to do that atfer her death.

if the show just treated it like that, then i think even the dreaded isabella arc could have worked, he couldve been chasing atfer isabella as both a replacement for kristen (the ideal traditional normal woman in his head) given to him by fate and both a puzzle to solve for why she even exists ( this would be the main reason, him factchecking if she was real just to be sure it wasnt a trap, if it wasnt then fate mustve blessed him with a second chance ) the writers couldve made isabella and oswald killing her be his karma for what he did to kristen, they couldve purposely made isabella be a bad and unhealthly fit for edward instead of accidentally writing that in, the writers couldve made this arc be where he gets put in the same situtation he put kristen in as karama for his actions BUT NOOOOOO ISABELLA IS JUST THE PERFECT MATCH FOR THIS PYSCHO KILLER SHES TOTALLY NOT MAKING HIM WORSE BY PURPOSELY TRIGGERING HIM

IDK if any of this makes sense, I'm not trying to defend Edward here I just think the arc would've been better if it was built to have ed have a narcissistic paranoid schizoid perspective instead of him being a misguided silly autist who doesn't know stalking is bad and is actually a good match for Kristen to an evil psychopath who yearns for the taste of fresh blood. the Kristen and Isabella arcs could've been so fucking good but the writers missed that potential

been thinking abour Kristen a lot lately! and how HORRIBLE Ed was to her! WHY DOES NO ONE IN THE GOTHAM FANDOM ACKNOWLEDGE THAT? why does no one talk about how Ed harassed, stalked, and manipulated this woman, finally got into a relationship with her, and then he murdered her in his apartment after they slept together. NO ONE TALKS ANOUT THAT AND HOW EVIL THAT IS?

for mine and my cousins rewrite we want it to be clear that he is EVIL FOR THAT BECAUSE THATS HORRIBLE!!!! his whole relationship with Kristen is awful its the worst thing. but yeah heres a drawing of him soon after killing her!

[multiplefandomsblog]

request(s); IZURU SMUT WITH AFAB READER - IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT THE CONTENT INCLUDED IN IT IS,I JUST, NO ONE REALLY WRITES FOR THE SCARY M A N 😢😢😢

paring(s); Izuru x AFAB!reader

warning(s); cussing, woAHH reader is a prostitute hired by enoshima, reader is AFAB, oral sex (m receiving), humiliation kink whoop, degradation kink double whoop, ah yes dirty talk, degrading names, spit-play,  prositution, multiple orgasms, wall sex, slow and steady wins the race, dumbification, begging, dacryphillia, sadism, kind of like fuck or die???? but not really??????? AND DEAR LORD I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS DOING WITH THIS GOD oii

note; i actually had a dream similar to this— also i lowkey got attached to these characters and now im seriously considering making a series of this???? DHSBJDDBF IDK IT REMINDS ME OF, LIKE AAAA IDK

wc; 4.1k+

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Everything was terribly boring. 

It was funny; that had been the only thought Izuru seemed to have in his brain, even as you were on your knees sucking him off like he was your last meal. Glaring down at you, he stifled a disappointed sigh. In all honesty, you weren’t bad; but he knows he could do much better, perhaps even find much better. It was almost a guarantee that he’d get someone else to do the job for him much better. 

Sitting on the throne of a comfortable chair, he had barely broken a sweat, nor had he even moaned a single time. Of course, that would frustrate you; you were squeezing whatever couldn’t fit in your mouth, ‘faking’ moans—or at least that’s what you told yourself you were doing—to send vibrations down his spine, and swallowing all the filthy pre-cum of his cock had released. And the man didn’t even have the gall to at least pretend to like it. 

It irritated you.

Why had he even accepted Enoshima’s offer for you if he hadn’t even been enjoying it? You hadn’t even touched yourself yet, and you were the one completely soaking in your panties—whilst you swore you heard him sigh, and not one of pleasure. Every part of it was humiliating for you.

“This is boring, get off.” You perked your head up, popping your lips off the unsatisfied pink tip, and to your humiliation, you looked up at him with sad, puppy dog eyes; ones that you hadn’t even purposely put on. You felt your heart drop all the way down to your stomach, “Boring…?” Well, that did it. 

Desperation turned into anger, and before you knew it, you had been crawling on this man’s lap, thighs straddling him, and hands digging into his shoulder as you looked down at him with feigned dominance. You gritted your teeth, he hadn’t a single reaction, just a look of genuine curiosity, and the same look of bored annoyance. He didn’t seem to like being suddenly touched, not like you even cared. Boring, huh? You’d prove to this self-entitled fuck, you weren’t as boring as he thought you to be. 

“... What do you think you’re doing?” With his question of genuine intent to know, his dull tone of voice seemed to have affected your interpretation of what he truly meant to say. Despite the condescending and almost offended tone, he truly wanted to know. Someone like you, crawling into his lap as if you hadn’t been face-to-face with possibly the world’s most dangerous human being; brought a small spark of interest in his chest.

Maybe you had some potential, he would think. “Are you trying to prove yourself to me?” With his eyes gleaming with curiosity and anticipation, you leaned back as you felt him lean in. With his nose inches away from yours, you shrunk just a slight but kept your act as strong as you could hold it for.

You gulped, gaze and grip faltering underneath his piercing gaze. Suddenly you felt small again. Your previous surge of dominance seemed to crumble and collapse as he brought his hands up to grope at your hips, reminding you who was really in charge here. He narrowed his eyes as he felt your hesitance and yielding, his large hands that had cupped your ass had practically been supporting all your weight as you backed down in the body and in mind. Damn it. He wondered where your confidence went, it was only just getting fun— but perhaps, all good things come to an end.

Well. He wasn’t going to let you give up that easily.

Suddenly, he let go, causing your ass that had once been held up by his hands, to fall back and knock onto his knees harshly; and you swore you could see a ghost of an expectant smirk on his face. Surprising you further, Izuru uttered 4 words that only seemed to confuse you, yet excite you all the same.

“Go on then. Try.” Your breath hitched, averted eyes now confused and focused them back onto the long-haired male. “W- what?” Izuru’s eyes narrowed at you, and the impatient look he had sent to you almost felt like a reward as you felt yourself growing more sodden. “Try and prove that you aren’t just another hole. That’s why you’re still here, no?” He spoke, and you swore you could hear his voice lower in tone.

He rested his hands on the armrests of his chair, leaning back ever so slightly as he got comfortable; as if he was about to watch a performance made just for him—which hadn’t been far from the truth.

But to your surprise and not his, you obeyed. 

If this was your chance to prove yourself to him— the ultimate hope that everyone seemed to be intimidated by—you’d take it. Of course, you would. 

Despite the growing anxiety in your heart that you’d mess up, you pushed it down and put one brave façade; he would sense your fear if you displayed it too much. 

Your efforts turned futile anyway; you should’ve known he’d sense your hesitance. 

Acknowledging your hesitance you thought hadn’t been too obvious about, Izuru brought it up. “What’s stopping you? Your fear?” Izuru hummed, leaning down to peck at your chest, “Well, that’s understandable; you should be scared.” Followed by the light sound of his lips against your heated shoulder. 

“... Though I assume that’s not what you’re afraid of at this moment.” Assume? More like knew. You were so predictable to him, a flick of your finger could tell him exactly what you’re thinking. With a tender gaze you were surely seeing wrong, he stared up at you expectantly as he waited for your answer. 

“Well?” You gritted your teeth at his sudden gentleness, taking more offence to it than you should have. You didn’t like being treated with kid gloves, not by him at least; for all you know, he kills children. “I’m not scared of anything—” He was huge, of course, you were terrified. ”How do you know I’m not just trying to slow it down, so you’re ready for it?” You challenged, shifting yourself above his tip that still glistened with your saliva from the earlier blow. Izuru looked at you, nearly taken aback. 

It made you feel incompetent. As if he thought you couldn’t do it, as if he thought you couldn’t give him the best night of your life. Of course, you’d be offended. No one likes being underestimated, especially not by him. It just brings you a whole new different feeling of humiliation. 

And he knew that. He just wanted you to hurry up, you know, provoke you a little. Foreplay was… Boring; he’d think with a small smile.

“Surely, you’re not that idio—” He cut himself off with a sharp inhale, lips parting and eyebrow twitching from the way your slick cunt slid over the tip of his dick, sinking in with ease. “I- I’m not what?” You breathed out, a shaky, smug grin contorting on your face as you tried your best to conceal the fact his dick had felt like it had literally been splitting you in two. “Hnnahh— Jesus-” You dropped your head for a second, nails digging deeper into the material of his suit; surprisingly, he didn’t care all that much about the material damage—at the moment, he cared more about the fact you hadn’t even sunk half his dick in yet, and you already looked like you were near-tears.

Maybe care would be an overstatement. 

You bit down on your once-smug smile, jaw going slack as you felt the pleasant curve of his dick, rub against your vaginal walls ever so slightly—following the movements of your own heavy panting. “You shouldn’t be so cocky, S/o.” He didn’t seem to hear the irony hiding in between his almost-mocking words.

You scoffed at his taunting statement, staring him straight in the eye as you walked further into his trap, and sunk down lower—stifling a wince as you felt him sink in you alarmingly deep. How big was he!? Well, you already knew the answer to that question. Your jaw still hurt from earlier. But that stretch had been positively incomparable to the stretch your pussy had currently been experiencing. 

Izuru pursed his lips, silently groaning at the way your walls clamped onto him as if you were already trying to milk him of his cum. You were so tight, he noted in his mind; well he wasn’t going to complain. As a sex worker, he would’ve expected you to be looser, easier to slip in; it seemed one of his predictions had been incorrect. 

In a dry, uncaring tone, he addressed the bead of sweat forming on your forehead from the stretch. “Can you really take it? You look like you’re in pain.” the part that irked you the most had been the small undertone of genuine concern for your being. Yeah, Izuru; the ultimate I-don’t-care-if-you’re-dead, cared if you could take his dick. 

Maybe your heart would’ve been swelling with joy, had it not taken a large hit on your pride. You were a sex worker, not the protagonist of a fucking romance comedy. 

You could feel yourself growing angrier and angrier by the second; a large part of you just wanted to get him off and leave—but there was a larger part of you that… strangely wanted to please this man, prove him wrong.

Don’t get me wrong, the urge was purely sexual. 

Rolling your eyes at his ‘concern’, “Can you just- Nh!” you held your breath before clutching onto his suit a little more desperately than you wanted to as you sunk the rest of him inside you. Embarrassment made its debut in your reddening cheeks as you unwillingly let a few whimpers slip out. “—B- be fucking quiet? For on- Mn! O- once?” He paused before retorting back in that same blunt tone, seemingly unamused by your curses as he had been busy watching your bodily reactions closely, as well as feeling them first hand. “... You’re shivering.” He addressed the tremor of your shoulders, as well as the contractions of your walls against his cock. 

“It- It’s cold.” You lied through your teeth, to which he found annoying; surely, you knew that he would read through that lie, so what was the point of even trying? 

Sighing in annoyance, he bucked his hips, exhaling sharply through his nose as you yelped and collapsed onto him, body going limp as you felt him hit your sweet spot. With a slightly panicked moan, you dug your shined face deeper into the crook of his shoulder, causing him to shiver as he felt the breath of your moan hit his neck. “Hnn-! A- a- already?” Izuru scoffed quietly, “I thought you wanted me to be quiet. Which one is it?” Izuru’s condescending voice kissed your ear, and you felt your own shivers being sent down your spine from his voice alone. 

Putting on an annoyed façade that would soon shatter, you rolled your eyes—something you would probably be doing often tonight. “You’re really annoying, you know th-? Oh-! Oh fuck-!” You moaned, eyes shooting open, revealing your dilated pupils to the wall behind him. With your hands fanned out on his suited back, you arched your back against him, grinding slowly as you hugged him off the back of his chair. 

Mewling quietly, you found yourself trying to stifle your own moans, so you could hear better his own; only to pout as you heard nothing. Your sole purpose and presence with him at this moment had been to please him. You… needed to please him.

And only Atua knows what Junko’ll do to you if she finds out you didn’t satisfy him. 

Sighing in slight frustration, you felt him tense underneath your touch as you locked your lips onto his neck, lips searching and exploring every inch of the sensitive skin of his neck. Izuru’s eyes widened a fraction, only to lid as he felt himself growing bored again. “What are you doing?” You muffled against his neck, “I’m trying to find your erogenous zone—“ a large grin grew on your face as you felt him go rigid and stiff against you—as if he wasn’t already rigid and stiff—as you grazed your teeth on a certain spot on his Adams’s apple, a sign that you hit the jackpot.

“There, huh? I never would’ve guessed…” You spoke through gentle moans caused by Izuru’s natural reaction to fuck up into you harder. He shivered, sure, he was good at everything; but even he didn’t know he had an erogenous zone—or rather, where it was.

And now you had this information. 

You felt your confidence sprout back up again as you felt him melt, slowly but surely into your embrace, and slowly but surely, you tried gaining back control of what had been happening. 

That had been your plan; but as soon as your hands reached up to tangle your fingers in his hair, he flinched, nails digging into your hips harshly. “Hands off.” He growled, crimson gaze darkening in irritation from your feather-like tugs. 

Yeah, your plan. 

His scalp was sensitive, and he had made the mistake of reacting so strongly to your touch to it, right in front of you no less. It was a weakness; one you’d surely take advantage of as you fucked this man. Or rather, as he fucked you. Izuru grimaced as he could practically hear the mischievous grin in your voice, “Yeah?” with a warning tone, Izuru tried stopping you, “S/o.” you probably shouldn’t have felt as excited as you did from his warning voice; especially from a guy like him, but there was a part of you that really wanted to know what would happen—what he was warning you about. 

So you made the best mistake of your life; and tugged the already impatient man’s hair. 

Izuru hadn’t given you the time to even inhale a single breath, as he had you pinned to the wall in half a second. Shit, he’s fast. Well, what did you expect? Izuru was definitely more than ordinary—and as you still felt the stretch burning between your legs, you knew that more than anyone. “I- Izuru?” Izuru sighed as you shrunk underneath his hold, forcing him to hold you up by his hips that had been pressed up against you. Your cattiness seemed to disappear the moment he manhandled you to the wall; it was predictable. All bark, no bite. He wondered why he wasted his time with you. 

With your eyes wide and helpless, Izuru remained unamused. “Let’s get this over with.”

Underneath the shell of your body, you could feel your blood boil as the man thrusting into you, had given you that familiar condescending stare of pity. He didn’t seem very pitiful as he watched you writhe and squirm underneath him from his unrelenting pace, though you could still read the emotion clear as day; your eyes glared right back at him—though you could barely see where you had been glaring, as your vision had been blurred from your own tears.

He was planning to push you to your limits, because, maybe when you’re sobbing and begging for him to stop; maybe then, you’d be less boring. 

‘He was the ultimate at everything; of course, he would be good at this too-’ “Fuhh...- fuck!” Your first orgasm of the night washed over your body, shaking uncontrollably as you had been less than prepared for it. You’d often have to fake your orgasms or get yourself off once the person using you was done. So you, whether it was fortunately or unfortunately, weren’t used to cumming so quickly. Previous thoughts of distaste had been long forgotten, as you had now been completely weak; moments away from breaking down and throwing away your dignity to prolong sex with Izuru. 

Sobs spilled out of your mouth as Izuru helped you ride out your high. The man watched you from above, hands hooking underneath your thighs and slamming you against the wall harder than your body had gone slack in your arms. For him, it felt more like he was pleasuring you—but for some reason, he didn’t mind all too much. 

Through tear-stained eyelids, you glared at him, your warm body still trembling from the near-mind-blowing orgasm he granted you. “I- I can take it.” At least, you thought you could. In all honesty, you didn’t care. You wanted it, and furthermore, he hasn’t even cum yet. Your job wasn’t finished. If you had to be fucked until your mind broke for him to cum, you’d do it. You didn’t have a choice—but even if you did, you wouldn’t deny him; you’d have to be insane to. 

“How... persistent…” Izuru murmured quietly to himself, bringing a hand up to tap your chin, causing you to perk your head up and flush at the gentle touch; the way he looked at you made you feel as if you were a mere science project being examined. It may have not been ideal, but being gazed at like nothing but a lowly bug is better than being ignored.  

It was so easy to fuck you into submission, he thought. Grunting, he pulled all the way out, lip twitching at the lewd squelch of your pussy. He almost lost himself in the way your walls fluttered around the tip of his cock once again, before tightening as if you were trying to welcome him back in.

Izuru, with a sharp inhale, roughly slammed back in, hitting all the right places despite the thrust being as quick as a flash of a camera. You gasped for air, you felt as if you had just been punched with his hips—and before you could recover from it, you felt him pull out yet again, only to slam back in, a small exhale huffing out the man’s lips as he kept on doing that same repetition. 

“F- faster— Pl- please!” You choked out as tears welled up in your eyes, his thrusts had been so powerful and forceful, yet so calculated; as if he was aiming for your G-spot every time he thrust in—which he was. He growled under his breath, voice still monotone but more strained than before—it was almost impossible for him.  

“You’re too tight to go fast.” He deadpanned, “if I go any faster, I might break you.” He didn’t really care whether he broke you, but who in their right mind would want to be broken? 

It was almost comedic how quickly you perked up at the mention of being broken. “I- I wanna! Really bad, r- real bad! Please!” You blabbered and begged like an idiot, your dignity long gone. He hissed at the way your pussy gushed with your juices and excitement, struggling yet again to piston himself into you. “Do you only think with your cunt?” Izuru narrowed his eyes down at you, disbelief and disgust gleamed in his red eyes; and it only made you squeeze around him unwillingly.

You shrunk, shaking your head as a babyish pout contorted onto your lips. “N- no, I-” The slow slapping noises of his hips on yours grew in volume, and your eyes widened as you could feel and hear him getting more frantic, hitting you deeper—places you were sure weren’t even supposed to be touched were abused by the crown of his growing cock.

Through a tone that tried its best to be calm and composed, Izuru shakily breathed out. “Open your mouth.” 

“W- Huh?” With slurred speech and crossed eyes, you tried your best to find his red eyes through the tears that blurred your vision. You were so fucked out, you weren’t even sure if he had actually said anything or if it had been your imagination.

“You heard me, don’t play dumb.” You hadn’t been playing dumb; you were dumbed. But Izuru held no patience for your games, and you could definitely feel that in his increasingly painful grip on your ass—he was sure to leave a bruise on your skin. With a confused look in your eye, you hesitantly dropped your jaw for him, whimpering and jolting as you felt something wet spew into your mouth. Before you could whine or even get the chance to complain, Izuru had forcefully knocked you against the wall again, lightly hitting your head as he steadied you against the surface with one hand as he used the other to close your jaw.

You hadn’t even registered the fact you had spit into your mouth as your mind had been too foggy from the intense feeling building up in your stomach once again. “Swallow.” Without so much as a questioning noise as a reaction to what he had done, you obeyed. Swallowing thickly with bleary eyes, you tried your best to keep eye contact with the man who seemed way too calm for the aggressive pace he had been maintaining like a pro.

Not thinking much of it, you dropped your jaw and flattened your tongue down against your chin; it was almost instinctual as you obediently showed him you had swallowed all of it. It seemed to please him, as he traced his thumb absentmindedly over your jawline; it almost felt like a reward, to be touched like that. His gentle hands differed greatly from his pace that fastened within each second that passed the both of you by. 

Your moans grew in volume, and you could feel yourself getting overwhelmed by how fucking good it felt to be fucked by him; moans and groans turned into full-blown hysterical sobbing as you felt your second climax approach. He grunted in frustration as he felt your walls clamp around him once again, convulsing as you gasped for air, his breaths huffing out in small intervals as he tried to get himself to his own high. 

Nothing was said as you threw yourself into him, hugging himself close to you as if he was your lifeline despite your twitching body—you weren’t sure how long you could hold on before you passed out, but you tried your best to stay conscious. He hadn’t cum yet.

It may have frustrated him, but it also frustrated you. Running your hands down his neck to his well-defined jaw, you cradled his skull before attaching your lips onto his neck desperately, practically slobbering over him like a dog as you kissed and sucked at his neck—to which he groaned quietly at. It was a terrible job, you were necking him so sloppily, and he hated himself for grading your performance when really, he should’ve been indulging in it.

The sounds of his hips slapping against yours, combined with your small moans that you tried to muffle against his neck, had overwhelmed his senses and he found himself going blank in the mind for less than half a second. 

It was dangerous, to leave yourself vulnerable like that. 

So without another word, sound, or thrust, he hoisted you up and dropped you against the chair; in which you unravelled like a velvet carpet over the soft, plush furniture. Your legs wrapped around his waist as you didn’t want to part from him, you didn’t want it to stop. There, he continued his assault to your already battered cunt, grunts and sharp sighs spilling out his mouth as he concentrated on getting himself to climax. 

“F- fuck, Izuru— Izuru, you’re splitting me- in t- two!” You sobbed out, arms flying up to wipe your tears away that prevented you from seeing the esthetical man above you. With his hair looking like it was flowing behind him, and the thin layer of sweat shining on his skin, you felt your heart beat a little faster— what?

You hadn’t even been able to register the dread of the realization of your feelings, as, without warning, Izuru creamed inside you. His hips stuttered to a stop, and he leaned himself completely over your body that had folded over the back rest of the chair, nose meeting the crook of your mid-chest. “Hhah...” He panted, clammy hands that had been gripping onto your skin tightly, loosened as he took a second before getting up and off you. 

You scrambled up from your position on the chair, legs and pussy numb as you struggled sitting up.“Wait Izuru—!” You called out for him, catching his attention as he cleaned himself up with a convenient towel Junko had left on the table. 

Zipping up the fly of his pants, he stared at you, waiting for you to continue what you had been planning to say as he flattened the creases of his suit. 

“W- were you...” You gulped, flushing as you recalled what you had done earlier. “Were you satisfied?” Your voice had been meek, afraid of his answer for more than one reason. Junko really would show you despair if she found out you didn’t satisfy him. “... I’ll let her know I was.” You sighed in relief, shoulders going slack as you fell back on the chair. You’d live another day.

[rotshop]

your drawing of Wank gushing about the reader reminded me how much I love her, so if you can, could you do some headcanons of Wank with the reader, doesnt matter which reader you want to use, animalperson, employeer, go wild. we just need more Wank simp juice

-Abstract

SO ,,, i m combining these two asks for the sake of ease ,,, i got a third wank req but i might do that later today idk ,,,,,,,, 4 now u get these </3

[ tw ; one very very brief and non-detailed mention of violence ]

-

-chances are you two just kinda. ran into one another at some point. you were probably in some of your own trouble with the aahw for one reason or another. it's essentially incident 010a

-chances ALSO are u were kinda horrified when u first seen her, u've gotta recognize her and idk man !! having someone who could easily snap your neck looming over you and just staring down at you isn't!! super reassuring!! :[ you don't even know if she's really listening as you're trying to plead ur case (and y'know. for your life.) because she's just ,, not reacting at all. she's just staring down at you in silence, you can't really see anything of her eyes behind the goggles and it's just making it worse. eventually though, you're cut off by her just picking you up and throwing you over your shoulders with an almost embarrassing amount of ease

-SO YEA ,,, i hope you like getting carried around like a sack of flour and unable to really do much at all, i mean, u can TRY and squirm around or hit at her backc but it usually just results in her tightening her grip on you :[ congrats to u tho because unlike her counterpart / sibling in incident 010a she HASN'T thrown you around !! so enjoy that at least

-eventually, you're allowed to see nevada from a normal view again when you get tossed in the back seat of a car. u don't get the chance to really think too in depth abt the idea when she's already stopping you, making a little 'watching you' gesture before she shuts the door on you. yeah its. not a great first meeting :[

-after u get brought back to her little base of sorts and get questioned by some others (who, are luckily a little bit less physical and generally intimidating), u just kinda. hang around. they've decided ur not a threat and its not like you really have anywhere else to go, aahw would probably just hunt ur ass down again anyway, esp considering you've been seen w/ wank now

-she starts to warm up to you a little more after the fact. you notice really early on that she's actually a lot more emotive and animated when she isn't tearing an agent a new one !! (granted, that's. pretty animated in its own right) she's still got that air of intimidation but for the most part she's pretty light-hearted, so!! it's not as surprising when she keeps checking up on u

-at first u just kinda excuse it as 'oh, she's probably just wondering if i got hurt or if im doing anything sketch' but she just kinda. walks in, asks if ur ok and then just stands there. you can tell there's always something a little bit off but she's usually walking off before you can point it out though. there is one time though where instead of walking off she just kinda. walks over to you, if you have any hobbies like reading, writing, or drawing then that's what she asks about first. she asks if she can watch you / read with you for a little while and so you both just kinda. chill like that. it's a little uncomfortable at first since there's not too much room between you and her on your bed but,,it works (or. yknow. you can always just sit between her legs and have her wrap her arms around ur waist and kinda rest her head on top of urs :flushed:)

-it becomes a routine of sorts after that, she'll come check up on you, see how you're doing, then come lie down with you. it's just..nice, in a way. it helps her calm down a little and she just likes being around you for some reason !! a fully platonic reason of course, you're just her friend who she sometimes thinks about kissing and who she can't help but think about your smile or the way your laugh sounds even when you're not around, fully in a just kinda friends way of course !! nothing more to it and the way she can't help but get giddy whenever she's talking about you !!! bestie behavior. yeah she talks to someone abt how she feels and it takes everything in them to not double over in laughter

-she eventually goes 'hm! fuck!' and realizes she's in gay love w/ u lmao. she's. pretty lost on how to go abt that and it reaaally doesn't help that you both are rlly affectionate w/ one another, so it just makes it harder for her to tell if the feelings are returned or not ,,, chances are she just kinda spontaneously confesses in her own kind-of-nerve-wracking way when you're both hanging out alone. she just kinda. cups ur face and makes you look at her and blurts out some 'i love you' or something

-N E WAY ,,, onto more mismatched hcs.

-she doesn't train w/ you very often since she's nervous about hurting you or exhausting you, she knows ur strong and you can take a lot but,,she still gets a little paranoid about it. however , she does enjoy you watching her train w/ others !! this isn't fun for them however because she does unintentionally go a little harder to impress you lmao ,, wank is not immune to favoritism and it shows

-like said before, she's very affectionate with you and she's not afraid to be so around others. if ur in her viscinity she just!! gotta hold u, its the law man. she just likes wrapping an arm or two around you and pulling you back against her, usually leaves a lot of little kisses on your temple or on top of ur head ,, it's worse if you fluster easily, hope u like being kissed a lot and being picked up bc she WILL do so just to see ur reaction ,, on the bright side though you do get to hear her laugh a lot more often since ur just that cute to her

-not at all shy abt her relationship w/ you and she wears it proudly on her sleeve, she cares abt u so so much and she genuinely adores you, it's written clear as day in any interaction you two have with one another so!! like hell she's gonna try and hide it

[tomonari-nue]

Toji, Nanami, Gojou and Sukuna for the ask game please? You can do one by one or together as you see fit.

oh you're killing me here JKBSJBKDBKJD this is gonna be a long one my lads!

Nanami's been answered here!

Toji

favorite thing about them

he's an amazingly written character – everything about him was tragic from start to finish; his upbringing, his short lived joy, his eventual downfall. he embodies everything about the notion of "if everyone says i am nothing i might as well be nothing". the grief, the hopelessness, the anger, the apathy. you cannot help but mourn him just a little. just for the things that could've been.

least favorite thing about them

he's a shit father KJBDJKFBJKFBJKB–

favorite line

"Not Zenin, huh? Good for you."

brOTP

in a kinder world, him and Gojo would've been fucking hilarious.

OTP

Him and Mamaguro, the only person who had his heart [starts sobbing]

nOTP

idk man dude's 6ft under, he isnt gettin any anymore (i hope)

random headcanon

If he had lived and semi-turned his life around, he would have a severe disconnect on how to bond with his children. Megumi would be 15 and Toji would get him a toy truck bc kids like that yeah? all his bonding ides are basically more fit for kids under ten and not like. teenagers.

unpopular opinion

i genuinely think he did love his kids on some level. maybe it was unconventional, maybe it wasn't enough, but he still loved them.

song i associate with them

Ghost by Confetti

favorite picture of them

Gojo

favorite thing about them

HE CARES. FUCKING HELL HE CARES SO MUCH ABOUT PEOPLE, HIS FRIENDS, HIS COLLEAGUES, HUMANITY IN GENERAL. he is delightfully complex and despite all his trauma, he still cares. he cares enough to desire to shape a better world for whomever comes after him. he wants everyone's future to be brighter, to be kinder, he wants everyone to not live through what he has, no matter how strong that made him.

least favorite thing about them

his hair when he takes his blindfold off and his furby-looking ghost peepers. look away, bastard, I SAID LOOK AWAY– also the fact that he's like. 190cm+ what the fuck do you need all that height for

favorite line

"I refuse to keep this kid from living the best years of his life. Not just him, but everyone." [SOBS]

brOTP

Gojo & Megumi (& Tsumiki), Gojo & Shoko, Gojo & literally any or all his students, Gojo & Nanami

OTP

Nanago and Satosugu are literally both great but Satosugu hurts me more, so im going with Nanago bc im a lil bitch

nOTP

Gohime – i dont really see it, but they make hilarious friends. Gojo & Miwa – SHE'S LIKE. 17.

random headcanon

He does NOT like cockroaches. He will literally get Megumi or anyone else to go get them for him. He's just not a fan! They get in everywhere and seem unkillable and they FLY for fucks sake! -7/10, would not recommend!

unpopular opinion

he's not a flirt – he's just good-looking and he knows it and how to utilize it when the situation calls for it.

song i associate with them

Borderline by Tove Styrke [Vanic Remix]

favorite picture of them

Sukuna

favorite thing about them

he's so fucking evil. i love him. this guy is vile, he knows no mercy, he does what he fucking wants without any rhyme or reason. he is the pinnacle of absolute evil and worst of all, he knows how to use his powers. this guy isnt stupid! he's a smart egomaniac with no regards for human life – all that exist are his pleasures and displeasures alone, and he so damn good at it bc finally, FINALLY, we get just some bastard being fucking evil bc he CAN and he WANTS to.

least favorite thing about them

literally all of the above. i love him being evil but also i want to see him 6ft under. i want him dead. i want Yuuji to deck him. but a big moment for me was when HE KILLED MY BABY BOY YUUJI. also the fact that his og form doesnt have an actual canon appearance yet

favorite line

"Know your place, fool." "Bakana." and "Ganbare, ganbare." are a close second

brOTP

Sukuna & Uraume – Evil Besties <3 also Sukuna & Yuuji if the series were more of a whole "weird homicidal demon stuck in my head and learning how to be human" situation

OTP

Sukuna x Immediate Death <3

nOTP

Sukuna x Total World Domination </3

random headcanon

He's useless in modern society. Sure, he passively picks up the knowledge from Yuuji bc Brain Roommates and all but. He screeches when the toast pops up from the toaster. He kicks a vacuum to death bc he hates the noise. He probably also got nearly run over by a truck and proceeded to try and fight the aforementioned vehicle.

unpopular opinion

i think he finds meek people boring. all they do is snivel around and cower, its no fun for him, so he might as well just kill them now.

song i associate with them

Play with Fire by Sam Tinnesz

favorite picture of them

I KNOW I KNOW OG!SUKUNA SHOULD BE THERE BUT THIS MOMENT WAS GREAT

(ask me about my opinions on the jjk characters!)