#// i was super overthinking it for a bit
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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]
Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?
[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*
–
Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.
Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!
Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.
* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.
#Pactw#QSMP#Pac#March 18 2024#As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators#I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore#I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know#like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on#And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation#but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about#esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources#and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know#idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info#Happy to hear other folks' perspective#I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those#but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric#which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs#but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying#Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript#that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing#and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate#idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags#But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter#Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn
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For the ask thing: what's your favourite thing to draw!!
um Kenny and k2 and flowers and fall stuff and desserts and Kyle's hair and clouds and cats and and
#south park#kenny mccormick#kyle broflovski#k2#sp k2#my art#doodles#(and creek too! and cute outfits)#sorry for my super late response to this!#I was struggling a bit and overthinking this lol#so i stuck to what I genuinely just love drawing...
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peachyville horror has done Something to my psyche and i dont know if i enjoy it only bcs its slow and painful ......... for the first time in my life im sitting here, 5 days before a new episode is coming out, and im getting excited about it being dndads tuesday soon
#like. in no other media#ever#no matter how much ive loved it#have i sat down and thought “oh god i wish it would be x day already so the next episode would come out”.#i tend to be fucking awful at consuming media#im a perfectionist at it#i overthink even fucking watching my favourite show (do i really want to rn should i save it for later am i awake enough etc)#but for tph im literally sitting here giddy thinking about tuesday#its so weird#it was sorta the same with s2 too but i got on board of s2 a bit later when things were already pretty dark#and i am SUUUUCH a sucker for happy go lucky funny media#like i fucking loved s2 (obviously) but listening to it was always also a bit more Serious than tph? idk how to explain#i just super like tph and it cheers me up a lot and at least now when theres no heady stuff going on its so relaxing and SO FUN#anyway#dndads#dungeons and daddies#the peachyville horror
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okay ive been thinking about this for a little bit but what sort of dress would thunder wear.
i was thinking perhaps something fancy? like a sleeveless dress or something with some sort of armor? perhaps not something that drags on the floor though
or maybe something a bit more practical? something that isn’t really a dress but you can move more freely/have more protection in (or just generally looks more square/sharp)
#thunder in the show clearly cares a lot more about his image than shiny which means dress would probably be a bit more restrictive for him#and tbh it isnt really that i feel like he would entirely hate wearing something feminine in general? i think hes more worried about people#‘s perception of him wearing a dress. if yknow what i mean#i could also say fuck what i think he thinks and put him in a random ass dress but man. MAN i just care a lot#and i mean i have thought/discussed putting him in a big stupid dress so maybe im just overthinking it LMAO#anyways feel free to give feedback#images of dresses are GREATLY appreciated 🙏🙏#worf opens their big mouth#super giant robot brothers#sgrb#also the main reason i chose a sleeveless dress was mainly so i didnt have to deal with his wide ass shoulders LMAL#BTW HI DISCORD PPL I KNOW WE DISCUSSED IT A BIT THERE BUT I WANNA EXPAND THAT IDEA HERE
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Me: EEEEKKKK I LOVE [BLORBO] SM I NEED TO FINISH WRITING THIS FIC FROM THEIR POV AND DRAW THEM FEELING MISERABLE AND-
Me: *sees a post complaining abt their fanon version*
Also me: *remembers I haven't touched the source material in a while*
My OCD, here to ruin my day as usual: what if you don't actually like [blorbo] and you're just a fan of their the caricature fanon version you didn't even like them before you started projecting your fave angst tropes on them what if you're wrong and none of this applies to their canon version and you're a horrible writer and artist and someone out there is vagueposting about how horribly you've mischaracterized them, you should go check out the source material again and reanalyze all of their appearances and you should check out all the extra stuff and reread their wiki before doing anything- actually why not do all that twice? Maybe thrice? Maybe four times, actually, just one final fifth time-
#sobek stims#<- been a while since I used my nd tag lol#But seriously I hate it#This happens everytime I think about Adam. Drew. Milly. Doggy and now Irep n Chloe.#I'm already overthinking all of my Irepcember ideas and sketches I've done#They're all Foop and Chloe centric too and I'm thinking that I might be exaggerating what their relationship was like a bit??#Like I have rewatched the OG in a while#I've tried rewatching Certified Super Sitter or whatever for a specific idea I had and just. Couldn't continue. I hate this.#OCD is a fucking nightmare I literally can't have fun without it bullying the fuck outta me#One day I'll get that bitch outta my head...one day...
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okay turning off anon for a bit! might turn it back on when i feel normal again
#with misha on his chaos tour across european cons...#lol no but i really need a min to like. breathe and return to what brings me joy here#cause apparently i'm now a medium/big blog in this fandom??(?) and that feels wrong tbh and i feel.. watched? so i overthink everything#not explaining this well but basically i feel a bit uncomfortable and like there's more responsibility now#which is a little bit silly cause it's not that serious!!#super honest moment at 1 pm on a tuesday ✌️#anyway <3
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🌻 ₊˚⊹ ࿔ 🌳
#the weather is so lovely today. it’s breezy and cool but the sun is warm so it’s not too cold or too hot out.#i wish it was like this forever.#ive been feeling so tired lately. physically n mentally & idk if its an underlying health issue or bc i haven’t been sleeping super well#the past few days i wake up in the middle of the night but im able to go back to sleep fairly quickly. but i STILL feel exhausted.#im supposed to talk about my lab results w my doc tmrw on the phone so. i hope everything is okay but tbh i wouldn’t be surprised if#something wasn’t optimal. my iron was okay last time i checked it though. sigh i just idefk anymore.#im sick of everything. im irritable for no reason. i don’t wanna do anything. like anything. i just want to rot in my bed#and even my interests are slowly slipping away from me. writing? couldn’t care less if i don’t write anything for the rest of the year tbh.#reading? i couldn’t even care to browse the shelves when we went to the bookstore the other day and it scared the shit out of me#kpop? meh.#i have a massive to do list and uni starts in a month and i have no energy. + dealing with my own brain and nonsensical thoughts on top#of that. overthinking anxiety all that super great stuff.#im also sick of putting in 110% into my relationships and getting half of it back. family friends whoever. and it makes me so sad. +#i feel like nobody even understands me. or even tries to or wants to.#im just tired#sick and tiredddddd#actually a bit sick too my throat hurts#anyways whatever#it’ll be fine i guess#i don’t want to give up but i don’t have any desire to push through im sort of just. floating. ill deal with it when i deal with it#♡ dear diary…
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here is a link to my commissions post ! you can find my prices + examples there [: if you're not interested in commissioning me and want to donate instead , here's my p*yp*l and my c*sh*pp !! <3 if you can't support me monetarily but still want to help , reblogging my commission post for exposure is also very much appreciated !!!
thank you guys soso much as always for supporting me through these trying times , i literally don't know where i would be if it weren't for all of you
#anonymous#ask#kind of ? idk it's not in the traditional format but . i'm just overthinking it ghfjdksjf#i have a lot of feelings about this right now . i might post a read more in a bit but i'm still super frazzled from work and#i feel like i won't be as articulated as i'd like to be if i talk abt it rn#but truly . i thank all of you from the bottom of my heart
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what if you wake up one day and you're gman?
honestly? best thing that could ever happen to me probably, I'd pull it off so well lmao
(also finally me knowing all the G-Man speeches by heart would pay off)
#ask#my stuff#tbh i was overthinking it a bit bc it's also kind of a terrifying thought xD like wow now I'm two metres tall...#... and have all these crazy powers and responsibilities#but i also get to not be myself anymore and have a purpose in life! got damn!#also... one time me and a friend did some silly shit together where i dressed up in a suit and we recreated some gman speeches#we even did the hla ending where she was behind the camera and did alyx' lines while i performed as gman on camera lmao#a massive plush duck was a standin for eli lmao#honestly kinda cringe if i think about it now. but it was also super fun and i put my all into playing gman. which i think i pulled off well#haha okay enough rambling xD#artemis rambles
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every once in a while i get reminded of yttd existing and its just like. damn i know that game.
#i never finished it i got to that bit where you had to like#choose characters to spend time with and like do minigames with or something (i dont remember very clearly this was like 4 years ago)#and it was really overwhelming (i was overthinking it a lot) so i just kinda.. stopped playing#i only found out it existed cuz someone on. okay hang on#ive mentioned tayasui sketches a lot right. drawing app i used to use it had a ‘community tab’ you could post art on#something that was pretty big on there for a while in likeeee 2020 was making. google classrooms. for people to join#i was in a few of them good times made a lot of friends there. anyways#someone on there one day made some post super late at night that was like ‘i need someone else to play your turn to die it traumatized me’#and linked to the site to play it on#so i just was like. fuck it sure i dont have anything better to do#and played it over the next few days#i remmeber thinking it was pretty neat.. i tried playing it again a year or two ago i think#i didnt get very far though cuz i got overwhelmed again.. like i didnt even get anywhere close to as far as i did originally lmao#im really bad at games like it where you have to like. do logic puzzles and decide on character things#i dont know if that makes sense oh well#sometimes ive considered watching a playthrough but idk if thatd be the same really.. idfk#one day ill get to it i think. i gotta see what its deal is yknow..#inquisitivewaltz.txt
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i’d noticed for a long time that fans have a tendency to infantilize goku and i never quite understood how so many people came to that conclusion,, because Z goku is silly but he’s also like rly masculine and brave to me 😭 but anyway now that i’m watching super i think i get where that trend came from lol.. goku is definitely so so silly in a different way than he was in Z, and i’m not saying that that’s a bad thing necessarily (i dont love it but also i have heavy bias lol) but i am saying that after seeing how he’s handled in super, it’s less surprising to me that people have a tendency to treat goku like he’s this weird totally innocent surface level guy .. do u guys get what im saying or am i crazy
#like. okay….#its not entirely a bad thing that goku is so silly in super bc. hes GOKU.. he IS silly#but sometimes his silliness extends a little bit past what Z goku’s wouldve..#again it isnt always a bad thing cuz i love when goku is goofy.. hes my silly guy#but also i think if it’s overdone it kind of flanderizes him#goku is a complex character but so much of his complexity is like. not surface level so like#making it surface level in super is just disappointing#IDK MAYBE IM OVERTHINKING IT. perhaps im insane#ness watches super
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why doesn't anybody talk about schrodinger's mental illness? seriously i think i'm onto something here
#nightmare.personal#i'm starting to think i'm over it like#i've been so happy lately and i'm having these weird nightmares about my family for no reason but like#i have FRIENDS and i'm taking CARE OF MYSELF and like i thought i looked super pretty today#but i am freaking out a bit about how nice this one friend of mine is being to me#which is so weird bc he'/s like the safest guy to be around ever but suddenly i feel insanely unsafe#hm. maybe i'll be fixed if i go to bed#ugh i have classes tmrw which are FINE classes but like. work. and then also therapy#and therapy's good just like. ugh. Ugh. maybe i'll talk to her about me hating my gf's mom's profession and my moral crisis#bc guys it's kind of awkward i really don't fuck with landlords but my gf's mom is um . Kind of one of those#anyway i think i'm better honestly like the klavier and dahlia stuff is starting to just feel like an inside joke#something earlier happened and i was like klav would like this. andi pictured him a bit in my brain as how he looked#and like. we laughed. but i don't think he was there at all#and the BPD stuff isn't happening like i've not mood swung at all lately i don't think#so maybe it was all in my head andi'm fine now? that could be it honestly like. i'm fine. which!#is weird and abrupt but hey i'm into it. y'know. whatever#it would kind of suck if it turns out i was perfectly fine i was just overthinking it but. hey#honestly whatever. people are fine i'm fine i'm safe and the nightmares are stupid#i need to see this guy anyway tmrw because i invited him along to grab breakfast with me and our mutual friend#we're like a trio so i figure it's fine. hopefully the dining hall isn't still on fire i need to fuck up that pomegranate acai drink so bad#it's SO good you guys. but like. idk. i feel happy like perfectly happy. like i don't think much is wrong#these weird feelings of dread and hovering on the edges of panic attacks sometimes but that's really it#ugh. i hope the lecture hall has good chairs#sorry i cannot focus on this i'm restless rn. i need. like. something#i think me and my GF might break up soon bc of the parents work and the sex thing but like.#someone lobotomize me i'm literally fine what's going ONNNN
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@ the people saying kind words and offering me english alternatives for the czech in my last post
first of all, I know you mean well and I love you to bits and I'm giving you a little kissy, ok? But... guys I do know English phrases... hahhah
Listen,,,, I am chronically online and I do actually have a certificate from C2 exams that is just 5 points shy of being 100%. I Know it absolutely doesn't look that way but that's just because I'm the laziest guy around and I don't feel like fixing it after myself when I have the excuse of being a foreigner- sahdjsd
so when i use czech words it is not out of the necessity of not knowing any substitutes but just me goofing around and going haha funny word go brr
#man this is probably coming of as mean and super defensive but its not supposed to be 😭😭 (tones still hard in any language)#it is genuinly super nice of you to try to help out!! and you couldn't have known so 💞#but just throwing that out there....jasdhksdj#o(-( man#ykno like i said throwing in cz words is just me having fun with it#since its my scribble side blog and all that#because due to spending almost all my free time connected to english-centric internet my own language/culture took a bit of a backseat#like even in my day to day life which is very prevalent among lot of foreign people today#but i wont get into it now it doesn't rly matter#so me throwing in some funky words is me just having fun around and trying to bring some of it back while i doodle#but looking back at it it is prolly weird to do since ykno its Chinese so what is cz doing there and no one will understand it anyway#so ppl are probably left feeling confused or cheated out of something#so i should probably just stick with eng alternatives#oh well#idk why im even making this post this has completely derailed ashdk and again I'm not mad at beloveds who commented and left tags#it just made me think#and overthinking hahh bcuz im in the middle of stressful projects#plus tHE STUPIDASS UNI DOENST WANNA ACCEPT MY MONEY OK PLEASE TAKE IT I BEG OF U I WILL PAY EARLIER NEXT TIME (lying)#anyway thats all jhds uhh bye#wait im already having regrets about making this post in the first place man but i did spend valuable time typing it out so ughhh
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.
#my anxiety is having a flare up#i don't think you really use 'flare ups' in the context of anxiety bc it doesn't work that way really but that's what it feels like for me#lately#like i feel like in general my anxiety has gotten a lot better lately. i still have a slight hum of underlying anxiety but i've been pretty#good at ignoring it and getting over it the last yearish but sometimes it's harder to ignore and gets a lil worse for short periods#esp when it comes to my relationships/interactions with people#bc i have no reason to think that the person i'm seeing 'n' has lost interest in me#but they haven't been texting me as much as they usually do the last few days and my anxiety is picking up and ignoring all the#very logical explanations and very extremely likely reasons#they're moving this weekend and didn't really start packing until last week so i know they're busy with that#ontop of everything else they do and work and everything. i know they're super fucking busy rn#and i was also out of town on a trip and they're def the type of person that was probably thinking they don't want to pester me on my trip#(they wouldn't have been)#and also like. they stopped by my job the night before i left to bring me my contact lenses and they were so smiley and excited to see me#even though it was just for a couple minutes#and they facetimed me right before my friend and i left for our trip just to talk to me for a bit and see my face#and they were again so smiley and really seemed like they liked me#so yeah.. logically i know i'm overthinking it and they're not annoyed with me#i know it's just that they're busy. the few other times they've been a little dry with texting was when they#we're super busy/going through some shit#so like i know that's all it is realistically#but my stupid anxiety and self worth issues always automatically going to 'you annoyed them. you fucked something up. they finally realized#you're not actually cool or hot and hot over you but are too sweet to tell you'#which i know is dumb#it's also not fair to them to assume that#it's not fair to them to think that of them#i just like them so much 🥺 but i do know they like me back#they've told me and they act like it#i just get scared#blake says shit
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// closed starter for @siberianwarriors
Tony had felt lost ever since waking up from his coma. The last eight years had worn him down, and he felt like a raw nerve. First there had been the break up with Pepper. Then there had been the whole Accords and Avengers break up. Then there had been the snap. Then Natasha and then the fight against Thanos where he'd snapped his fingers and turned it all back.
He thought he'd died in that moment. Part of him had wanted to. He was tired and sick of losing everyone. Only he'd woken up a few weeks later, his right arm amputated and burns up his right side. He thought he might be relieved? It was hard when there so much pain to feel real relief. Mostly he was just exhausted.
He'd designed himself a new arm using his nanotech, and he'd moved back to the Avengers Tower. The only problem was the person who he had blamed for so much of what had gone wrong, the person who had killed his parents, who he had seen choke the life out of his mother with his bare hands, was living there too.
Tony had been avoiding him. Partially because he was a little worried about what he'd do if he actually saw Barnes now. But partially because he knew that the super-soldier unlikely wanted to see him as well.
You see, the worst part of all of this - the absolute fucking cherry on this shit sundae, was that Tony knew it wasn't Bucky's fault. Tony knew that Bucky had just been a pawn in some fucked up universal game of chess. He knew that his reaction during the fight in Siberia where he'd just wanted to hurt Bucky and Steve as much as he was hurting, was an overreaction. He knew that Bucky was probably blaming himself. But that didn't change the fact that seeing him didn't hurt. And it didn't change the fact that Tony needed someone to blame and Bucky was the easy choice.
Tony had been self-medicating a lot since he'd got home. He'd been drinking more than he had back before becoming Iron Man in the first place. When he'd emptied his bar upstairs he went down to the common floor to see what was stashed down here. Unfortunately, he wasn't the only person to have the idea. When he stepped into the room, Bucky was already there.
Tony froze and clenched his new metal fingers against his side. "Didn't know you'd be here," he said.
#tony stark rp#closed starter#marvel roleplay#: freezer burn#siberianwarriors#tony stark#bucky barnes#// hope this is okay#// i was super overthinking it for a bit#// just to clarify i made it post endgame#// bucky and some of the others currently staying at the old avengers tower#// no morgan or pepperony#// don't know if steve stayed happy to go either way#// bucky doesn't have to stay at the tower long term if you don't want#// and uhhh yeah? ? dm if you have any questions or don't like it. I can change stuff#// oh also don't feel like you have to match this length#// i go long on starters just for background info
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sometimes (often) i think about the characters i kin or relate to and then the realization comes in again and again that i need therapy (/lh?)
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#unfortunately i doubt i will ever get therapy bcs i have this. thing. idk. but i believe in myself to just rely on myself?#and yeah i uhh can go on more about that BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT OF THIS sorry i suck at explaining things. anyways#humans. interesting. i am fascinated by humans and myself and i'm tired of typing now GOODBYE anyways xiv music is so fucking good#and also idk how to interact w others sorry ..... i am scared of getting close to people bcs everyone i've grown close to has ended up#leaving me or i mess up! but tbh it's better now i think and also not as bad as i think but sorry i still have bad issues with. that#me saying i don't want to type anymore and then proceed to rapidly type out so many words oopsies#pls just do not PERCEIVE ME !! unless you want to ig but idk why you'd want to do that uhm#yk i like tumblr most out of all social medias bcs it feels like i can... sort of just be my weird self here! and it's not fully nice#and i still have anxiety problems and overthinking problems and whatnot which is evident by my 100+ notifs i havent checked since#christmas but that's not the point (?) idk whats the point honestly uhhhh nvm (??)#OH I LOVE FF SO MUCH tbh it's w/o a doubt still my favorite series ever but drake/nier is also up there for sure#which i think is amazing bcs i have yet to finish a game. and ive only like played idk 5 hours of replicant and automata#and then ive already spoiled myself on important aspects of all games but that helps ngl uh. i could explain but im tired of typing#ANYWAYS GOD actually noehgjbsejhbghjes i really suck w interacting w others i really wish i were better at all that#im not super introverted or shy im just kinda awkward and anxious but im a fun person and all and idk#and tbh its interesting thinking abt my personality... some parts of me havnt changed at all from a bit (/pos) like my lively. aspect of my#personality !! i was a bundle of energy and a little annoying (perhaps unintentionally but now i think its a bit more on purpose lol)#but the only person who really sees my true self is me. and the closest to that is lune. but even i dont know who i really am#and yeah... wnvr im like woa ill make more friends !! and then when i have the opportunities i suddenly dont care anymore IT SUCKS#anyways i think i have Opportunities now again so lets see haha ?? at least uhh in school. its like 2nd sem and i dont rlly have friends#as usual haha that sounds so sad help BUT its not like im disliked im just rlly quiet and shy at school..... throwback to 7th grade tho#that was rlly the worst but also now is just as bad in a diff sense but back then i cldnt talk w my crush at ALL i didnt speak at all im so#sorry about that HELPPP I RLLY JUST CLDNT SPEAK anyways moving on in my class rn i do have a group of sorts. like#we're grpmates wnvr theres grpworks and we can pick which is nice! ive been classmates w em all b4 and theyre the cool kids#but in the more fandom sense and one used to be a close friend of my twin and of mine too by extent and then the other was someone#who knew me when i was more extroverted so yeah uhhh anyways#OKAY ALMOST MAX TAGS im DONE rambling. bye. hopefully. bye. oh god
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