#// i love u so much heavy tf2

[cheebuss]

Another one down, Demo will be lucky last! <3

[fudanshi-piss-room]

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Pony fortress or something lol. I was too lazy to do the logo

[finniestoncrane]

HELLO FINNIE!! HELLOO FINNIEE!!!

We already talked a bit about this but, would you make some headcanons about how all the mercs from TF2 would hug and comfort someone having a bad awful day?? Please and thank so very very much LOVE YOU 🧡

TF2 Merc Headcanons thank you gus gus for asking me for my very personal and no doubt completely off-canon opinions on the boys!! i too needed some comfort and hugs from them omg u-u i'm also very much hoping that these work platonically and romantically!! ❤️ request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: comfort, hugs, cheering up attempts

scout

he struggles to take things seriously, younger brother in a sitcom ass

"there, there, it could always be worse... i guess, maybe... probably not though this is pretty bad"

a gentle pat on the shoulder, and then another, and then another, and then a relatively painful whack to see if the shock works

playful teasing that maybe makes things worse at first, but makes you giggle

and then when he takes it too far, gives you a reason to pummel him, which lets you release some of the anger!!

even with his often blunt and immature response, there's always a sense that he cares deeply

it's there in his embrace, a one armed side-hug that pulls you in close while he asks you in his softest tone

"hey, you wanna go play baseball or somethin'?"

pyro

hugging isn't actually his go to response, and it's not third or fourth on his list either

first of all, he's taking you outside to set fire to something

it's cathartic, and fun, and dangerous!! and FIREY

then he's trying all of the things that make him happy!!

you can play dolls with him? or have a tea party with his stuffies!

or maybe you just wanna lay on your tummy on the floor and do some colouring in

but if none of that cheers you up, and he can't destroy the thing/person that made you sad

then he'd wrap his rubbery little hands around you and bring you in for the biggest squeeze he can offer

sniper

pack it up fellas, it's time to head out on a "touch some grass (or sand)" nature trip to cure the blues

you get to sit up front in the van, obviously

not in the back where you're bouncing off the walls and ceilings

he'll stop at every service station to get you a fun beverage or a snack on the off chance that it will make you crack even a little smile

and then you'll be out there in the world, safe because he's standing directly beside you

he's surprisingly big on physical affection, so he'll have you in a side hug most of the time, just to keep you comforted

and before he lets you go off to your room, he'll get out of the van and give you the biggest hug

full body, very warm, very gentle, completely silent

heavy

the gentle energy in him is in itself, quite intense

likely because he has all of this stored up nurturing and soft encouragement and gentle adoration

but his sisters don't really need it (and let's face it they never did, he just over worried)

so if he has a reason to love and comfort, he's taking it

you'd barely even have to utter a little word of sadness and he'd be wrapped around you

maybe so tight that you might have to get your ribs checked at the emergency room

but the bear hug is worth it

it's warm, safe, comforting, everything that heavy is

and bonus: he can lift anything and anyone

so if you need to be cradled like a leetle behbeh to get some sleep or to work through the sadness, then he can do that!!

soldier

TURN YOUR FROWN UPSIDE DOWN SOLDIER!!

there's so much to be grateful for!! like freedom!! and honey!! and guns!! and america!!

but if none of that works, he's willing to put his shirt back on just long enough to let you nuzzle into his chest for a hug

and if you're very lucky, you might feel another large set of arms around you

because if soldier is hugging you, then zhanna is joining in

maybe with a menacing reminder to stay away from her man

but still with enough warmth that you're surrounded from both angles and left with a fuzzy feeling in your chest

and a little bit sweet and sticky too...

medic

a sensible shoulder pat is his first port of call, because he's usually elbow deep in some body cavity or other

and there's not much he can offer in the way of extensive comfort that doesn't involve you being covered in blood, or worse

but once he's cleaned up, he's all OVER you

you're just a little dove in need of some snuggles

a little soft coo in your ear while he holds you close

a gentle stroke with his large hands so he doesn't hurt you, keeping things light and gentle, not intense (as he usually is)

face smothered in his chest as he rocks you back and forth and sings a deeply concerning lullaby

and then, if none of that works, he'd let you root around in his pile of "dead bits" for something to carve up

it really does let out all of the tension and stress

engineer

oh no don't be sad, he can't engineer his way out of this one...

or can he... OH!! maybe what you need is some comfort, he can do that

just give him 16-20 hours and a large amount of sheet metal and screws

he can work something out, like a little machine that can pat your head at different intervals depending on your needs

or a set of arms that can hug you, as well as deploy turrets and toss grenades!!

but you still look sad... perhaps, while you're waiting on him to create the cure for your sadness

you'd like a little hug?

and honestly, who can hug better than a short king with thick arms? perfect height, perfect squeeze, sweet little honied words to make you smile

absolute love bug with a perfect remedy (eventually...)

demoman

"do you want to drown your sorrows like a horrible wee beastie?"

"or do you want me to come over there and cuddle ye like a wee bairn?"

you can choose one or the other, or both!! either way your soul is going to feel lighter and warmer by the time he's finished with you

and, realistically, you're gonna get hugged either way

once he's drunk enough he won't be able to stop himself from holding you so tight you can't breathe, smooshing your cheeks between his palms, and just generally loving all over you

"yer a bonnie wee thing, i wish you never had to pout they wee lips"

he's slurring his words, but they're all meant with the greatest of sincerity

and you can bet he'd be just as willing to do it all sober

spy

he's a man of few words when it comes to comfort

somehow, despite his confidence in every other area and his preparation for every scenario, this one escapes him

the risks are a lot greater, somehow, than anything else

because he feels like he has to cheer you up, he has to make you feel better

anything less is a failure in his mind

so if you come to him with wet, sad little eyes he won't say a word

a quick grab of you by the shoulders, bringing you in to his room

where he'll wrap a robe around you and make you a nice omelette

and feed it to you in manageable bites

and give you a little tiny peck on the cheek and a quick tap on the head

and then a hug that could be formal or very romantic, it's hard to ascertain the meaning behind it, but it gives you exactly what you need without revealing anything

[rorichuu]

OMG HELLO!!! i see that u do tf2 and i’d love to request smth hehehehheheALSO ur account is so pretty what ?!?!

but i hope you’re well dude! can i request some relationship headcanons with some (or all!!) of the mercs pls? or any basic headcanons !!

take your time btw:)

the tf2 mercs in a relationship + headcanons

pairing: mercs x reader (gender not specified)

authors note: MY FIRST REQUEST WAAAHH also oml thank you, you’re so sweet :( some headcanons coming your way! ... also i apologize if they're ooc, this is my first time writing for them:'(

disclaimer: minor spoilers for the comic in heavy's!

Scout:

i’ll be honest, when scout found out Miss Pauling was a lesbian he was pretty beat up for a while

that was until he realized other people exist!

he literally follows u around like a puppy dog when he realizes he has a crush on you

ALWAYS TRYNA RIZZ YOU UP LIKE SCOUT PLEASE WE'RE ABOUT TO GET BLOWN UP BY THE ENEMY SOLDIER

his love language is definitely physical touch and words of affirmation

and is ungodly touch starved

i can see him trying to find ways to touch you, and not in a sexual way... just either grazing your arm when he talks to you, or he stays shoulder-to-shoulder with you when you sit next to each other

he finds it very very comforting

and if you tell this man he looks very handsome or just occasional i love you's, he'll fold ong

his heart melts and he just wants to hold you till he can't anymore

but i think Miss Pauling and Scout would be pretty good buds after the whole "Scout constantly flirting with Miss Pauling" thing died down

and his confession was pretty cringey ngl

his crush on you was very evident so when he tries to ask you out, you say yes

(skipping down the halls with joy)

bisexual icon

Soldier:

oh man

this dude's flirting is... so hard to detect😭

but a lot of his attention is on you!

and makes a lot of exceptions for you

for someone who doesn't like loud noises and is very sensitive to outside stimuli, if you're like me and he notices it, he'll definitely find a way to be more quiet

like if you and the rest of the mercs are lined up and notices you're cowering or anxious asf, he's goes soft and let's you go

if you thank him or say you appreciate him for his efforts, his face is SO RED.

but he salutes you and said he was happy to do for a fellow compatriot

(his hearts beating so fast help him pls)

BUT if you're just as loud and upbeat as him/share his energy, he's in heaven

he loves that you like to blow shit up with him?!?! like omg this is my lover and i will marry them on this battlefield right now.

love languages is totally acts of service

like if you save this man from the enemy he's blushing so fucking hard like omg i love you

with his confession, it was straight forward and to the point (but he was beet red ... basically my hc on him is that he blushes very easily fhjrebjh)

also gender doesn't matter to him, he loves who he loves

Pyro:

HUBBA BUBBA

i love pyro sm :3

anyway

best lover!!!

gifts and quality time!!!

alwwaaaaaaays giving you gifts like omg all the time

your reaction is her FAVORITE

like they'll find a flower burnt to a crisp or a homemade corpse bracelet and he'll have the brightest aura

LOVES MAKING CRAFTS WITH YOU OMG!

jumping up and down if you give her something

like she's the happiest person in the world

bonus if you share a love for fire

campfires/bonfire dates!!

and you're probably the only one who understands him (alongside Engi, of course) so your conversations are endless!

and is suchhh a sweet tooth

such a soft and loving partner!

when pyro confesses (and you accept) he's leaping with joy quite literally

BIG HUG :)))

asexual royalty!!!

Demoman:

holy moly

VERY DRAMATIC WHEN HES DRUNK AND VERY CLINGY

which is a lot of the time cause yknow, very much alcoholic

but when he's sober he's pretty level headed NFJHBJ (comics for reference)

idk man he gives off best friend kinda lover

like he's always so hype and the best to be around

so when he found out he had a crush on you, he was pretty much head over heels

when he's drunk he's always holding you

hugs, kisses, hand holding, slumping on you

NAPS!

omg the best to nap with ong

BRO IS A FUCKING HEATER he's always so gd HOT

so if you're taking a nap with him don't get a blanket he's legit sprawled all over you

but it's kind of a different story when he's sober (he gives you your space but def rolls around in his sleep)

oh boy his confession was definitely when he was on his 100th drink

his confession was SO SLURRED

if you said yes he's over the moon

Heavy:

honestly, this man is a huge softy

and VERY protective.

have you seen him in the comics? he was 100% ready to kill a man over Medic's death (and just his natural protectiveness, like his family for example)

but dude his love language is for sure acts of service and physical touch

when he realized he had a crush on you, he always kinda stuck by you on the battlefield

even with the high of combat, his eye always finds youuu😭

i love heavy sm

and its quite obvious this man doesn't speak much, unless in his native tongue (which isn't often)

so even if he doesn't say anything, he'll for sure stand by you or take your hand

if you have anxiety, this man is SUCH a comfort

also you'd def be the one to confess

if you asked him out or asked to if you could be his partner, he is kinda shocked but is very very happy :)

lets you hold Sasha

no label, love is love

Engineer:

AUGRRHHRR SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY

i'm so deeply in love with this man omg someone sedate me

but anyway

is SO polite and is SO PATIENT

he absolutely adores it when you visit him when he's working

it gets lonely sometimes because he focuses best when the others aren't around (aside from pyro) ... but when he realized how much he loved your presence, he expected almost every day for you to visit him at least once

(gets bummed when you don't)

but if you have a genuine curiosity for what he does and what it means, he tells you ALL about it!!!

he understands it can be very confusing if you haven't studied engineering/computer science, etc... so he is more than happy to explain it to you :)

BARBEQUES!!

loves cooking for you and would sooo wear a "kiss the cook" or something cheesy like that (he finds it funny and hopes to get a smoochy)

quality time quality time quality time

and pet names

omg pet names

"love", "darlin'", "sweetheart", "buttercup"

HIS CONFESSION OMG

i can kinda see engi being a bit cheesy honestly

his confession would be pretty casual! he wasn't too stressed about asking you... and would probably slip the question in mid-convo !

rfhbrtgbj much love for this man

pansexual!

Medic:

I'll be honest here

his love is lowkey highkey possessive

but i think it'd either take a while for him to realize his feelings for you or would become attached VERY QUICKLY

there's zero in between

with his deep love and possession, he finds such deep fascination with your anatomy/body

not even sexually bro

he just thinks you're so incredible and puts u under a microscope

PHYSICAL TOUCH

this man hasn't felt the touch a person in years (aside from the mercs' checkups obviously)

and übercharge, if it was a love language

worships u ONG

loves to see you with such confidence when he activates the übercharge omfg

he thinks you're the most attractive thing he ever laid eyes on

confession? nah yall kinda just started dating; yall kinda just started happening

let me explain😭if someone was tryna ask you out, medic would be pretty quick to step in

uses his height to his advantage to let the person know what's up 😨

bisexual with a def male lean

Sniper:

at first you would definitely think sniper hates you

he wouldn't purposely avoid you, but he like spends zero personal time with you at first

he's always in his van and istg u wanna drag him out and force him to tolerate you

(and he'd probably find that very attractive if you did)

but if he found out he has feelings for you? oh boy oh boy

acts of service 🔛🔝

if you were in close combat with someone and you tripped, the enemy having the upper hand... you'd hear a sudden gunshot in the enemy's skull and a loud thud.

but before you could look up, he was nowhere to be found (you knew it was him and you were very appreciative)

if you brought it up to him OH MY GOD his face would be soooo red soso red

"Don't worry about it, mate..." HIDES UNDER HAT HIDES UNDER HAT HIDES UNDER HAT

the most bisexual man i have ever seen

Spy:

too suave for his own good dude

his love is very old-fashioned!

when spy finds his massive crush on you, is when he realizes the comfort of your presence

if you can have comfortable silence with spy is when he is totally connected/in love with you

smoking out the window/evening night conversations!

also when i tell you this man gets so flustered if you one-up him...

he'll wave it off and play it mad casual but on the inside he's malfunctioning

would definitely take you to the best, high-class restaurants and walks you home omg

HAND KISSES FOREHEAD KISSES

loves to spoil you holy shit

always buying you stuff (jewelry, clothes, shoes, personal things you like... he bought it already)

which btw love language is definitely gifting and quality time

def bisexual like cmon

.

.

.

rorichuu!

[dimeadozencows]

HEAVY TF2 TUMMY ‼️‼️‼️

I CANT BELIEVE YOU ANSWERED MY POST GSJDHDJ THANK U Here you go:

I love him so much i did a scrapbooking about it

Close ups:

@heavytf2tummy enjoy medic👍🏽❤️

[racmune]

ok actually gonna talk about this i was thinking 2 heavy had to log back in for this post specifically excuse the rant yall :(

like i dont care for miss pauling being super serious etc but in the time between my initial autism hatred and now im willing 2 chalk that up to me making shit up/ extrapolating or whatevs

BUT SCOUT HAD MATURED! HE DID ALREADY! AND THAT IS WHAT TRULY HAS ME FUCKED UP ABT THE SCOUTPAULING BLUNDER . SCOUT BEING ALL LIKE "OMG I CAN FREAK IT WITH PRETTY WEMEN?!!>" JUST MISUNDERSTANDS HIS CHARACTER AND RELATIONSHIP TO MISS PAULING SO BAD AND IM SUCH AN ERM ACTUALLYING SCOUTPAULINGCEL AT THIS POINT BUT WHO GAF THIS IS MY TRUTH THE COMIC HURT ME LIKE NOBODY EVEN UNDERSTANDS HOW GRAVELY THIS WILL AFFECT THE POSTING ECONOMY

MY BOY DID NOT LIKE HER BECAUSE SHES JUST HOT AND THAT FUCKING SCENE IS GONNA MAKE ME HAVE DENTAL PROBLEMS , LIKE

//ritalin wearing off so excuse the extra tangents but like. in a way i sorta could tell it was kinda already coming to this? im not sure where i can find screenshots but i was talking about the scene with god in the 6th comic where he wants scout 2 fuck insane styles all over the place and how it undermined a lot of what was important to his interest in miss pauling and that he was growing to chill tf out at her earlier in the comic when he met up with her and gave her that hug etc. i understand what theyre trying to do/say with their relationship in this story NOW but it just doesnt really work for me in the same way still. for obvious reasons .. well. who cares scoutpauling 4life what ru a COP get OUT OF MY HOUSE//

miss pauling in the mainline comics isnt into him but it doesnt change the fact that scout genuinely loved her regardless, EXP DATE WOULD NEVER DO THIS TO ME LIKE. exp date shows that hes been around , HE IS OUT HERE FUCKING MISS PAULING IS NOT THE ONLY WOMAN HES EVER MET IN HIS LIFE

//like i get in the mainline comics they treat him as a virgin or whatever but i think it just oversimplifies who he is and the comics often dumb him down worse than he really is but also i made up things in my mind so i should shut up. I wont.//

HE DOESNT STICK AROUND AND TRY TO DO NICE STUFF FOR HER JUST CUZ HE WANTS TO GET IN HER PANTS CUZ SHES HOT. HE COULD PICK UP HOT WOMEN VIA BUCKET OF CHICKEN VERY EASILY BUT WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IN A TUMOR RELATED DEATH SITUATION HE WANTS TO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL BECAUSE SHE IS IMPORTANT TO HIM SPECIFICALLY. MY MAN COULDVE DECIDED TO LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE WITH HIS ASSUMED TO BE DWINDLING TIME BUT DECIDED NOT TO.

HE LIKES HER FOR DEEPER REASONS . HE LIKES THAT SHES SMART AND PUT TOGETHER AND NICE LIKE HE SINCERELY WOULDNT SAY ALLAT SHIT TO SPY IF HE DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE HE IS THE WORLDS MOST REVOLTING AUTISTIC WARRIOR IF HE WAS JUST IN IT FOR COOCHIE HE WOULD MAKE IT ABUNDANTLY CLEAR LIKE COME ON. MATTER OF FACT - HE DOES! IN THEIR FIRST SCENE THEY ARE IN TOGETHER! AND YET! HE MATURES!

LIKE

HE GROWS TO NOT JUST WANNA HIT ON HER, HIS LAST WISH IS LEGIT TO ONLY GO ON A DATE WITH HER, NOTHING MORE THAN THAT. VOLUMES ARE STORED WITHIN THAT WEIRD GUY AND LIKE GUHHHHHHHHHHHH

IN MY MINDS EYE HIS PERSONA OF MASCULINITY IS HEAVILY TIED TO TIRED MISOGYNISTIC IDEAS OF WOMEN JUST BEING THERE FOR SEXUAL CONQUEST AND THAT IN TURN FEEDS HIS EGO

IT IS FACKING HUGE FOR HIS CHARACTER THAT HE CARES MORE ABOUT HER FEELINGS AND DOING THINGS RIGHT N TAKING SHIT SLOW THAN JUST GETTING LAID AND ITS BOTH BIG FOR HIM GROWING AS A PERSON WITHIN HIS MISOGYNY AND ALSO HIS TOXIC MASCULINITY ETC

HE HAS TO HAVE HAD A DEEPER REASONING TO DO ALL THE SHIT HE DID THAN "HOT",MAN.

I LIKE 2 BELIEVE THAT WORKING MORE WITH MISS PAULING AND TREATING HER AS AN EQUAL IN THE TEAM POST MEET THE DIRECTOR ALLOWS HIM TO SEE MORE OF HER AND SHE BECOMES A HUMAN BEING 2HIM INSTEAD OF JUST A OBJECT AND HE BEGINS TO GARNER DEEPER EMOTIONS..

//2me scout is if the american psycho was both just some dude and also if he had the capacity to just take a fuckin pill like. im way blowing shit out of proportion to what im supposed to read from but im just throwing every thought around who give a fuck like. i think in terms of the chicken girl and the assumed other women like her like the sex would be shit on account of. its not really about any feeling or want in particular so much as just a way to feel like hes portraying The Guy as well as possible. you know what i mean. him starting to want a deeper connection than superficial bullshit is mega humongous and it speaks volumes to the importance of his love for her to his character. you know. Do you understand. //

LIKE FUCK

THATS ALSO WHAT FUCKS ME UP SO BADLY ABOUT HOW HE TALKS ABOUT HIS LOVE FOR PAULING TOO

LIKE ITS NOT JUST HIM TRYING TO WEAR HER DOWN ,

HE GROWS OUT OF HIS SHIT.

THE WHOLE POINT WAS THAT HE SEES HER AS A PERSON AND DEVELOPS A DEEP RESPECT FOR HER AND HER OWN CHOICES . WAITING FOR HER TO LOVE HIM BECOMES SECONDHAND TO THE IMPORTANCE BECOMES THE CONNECTION HE HAS TO HER REGARDLESS OF WHAT IT IS. I CANT LIKE. COME ON YALL

its okay. im letting peace into my mind. scout is just a silly man and i never even care about fiction to much at all and. florence isnt a shit name for miss pauling i was just mad :,( .though she will always be faline to me because her cuteness :)

//i was right about scout being dilf material though so i take the w on that one//

I like to think Scout and Flo Pauling eventually get together in the future, it's just they weren't ready at the time since Scout was immature and Flo had too much going on mentally to pursue any relationship.

like the thing is tha y scouuts hole character axrc is abput growing 2 undetaymad this and underatnad her serspective and waiti but they dont ducki g rite that cuz who gaf idek man

they shoulve hirwd me as lead scoutpauling xonsultant i couldve saved tf2 comic 7

[ddarianne]

She'll be alright A quickly painted doodle with tf2 siblings of all time -u- and well I just wanted to paint zanna hahahah. I do find interesting that heavy isn't actually married, but before it was confirmed what his family was people thought he was the most likely mercenary to actually have a family for that big dad energy he has even on that comic where heavy accidentaly make a child cry and gives him a fat stash of cash to compensate HAHAHAHHA, lo and behold, he has a dad role in his family anyways taking care of them and providing. I love this character so much, it's my favourite and it's my main (not because I wanted to I wanted to main pyro but that's actually a lot more highskilled that people give him credit for... (except for scorch/phlog combo FUCK that combo is so stupid)

[radio-ghost-cooks]

I JUST PLAYED AN ACTUAL CASUAL MATCH OF TF2 AS MEDIC AND I LOVE PLAYING MEDIC SM

he's my pookie he's my little homosexual man i run around with him and make sure my teammates don't die and occaisonally help them get kills with the syringe gun :]

it was so much fun i followed around this Heavy in ctf for a little while AND WE GOT THE INTELLIGENCE BACK TO BASE 3 TIMES!!!!

i lobve playing Meds sm <333333

(also shoutout to the Sniper who was yapping in chat with me while i was giving Snipes a try! Seychelles i have no idea if ur ever gonna see this but u were so nice :] )

[hacksawboy]

day 9, i could not be more sorry that this is being posted at 11 pm. had a really shitty day today, did not have the time or energy to doodle

anyways i didnt have much time to play any games at all today, was rlly tired by the time i got to my computer probably cuz i woke up super tired ? so as an apology heres happy fortress friends because i love happy tree friends and tf2. dont have all the species down yet, but soldier is an eagle, pyro is a unicorn, engineer is a squirrel, heavy is a bear, medic is a boar, sniper is an aligator, and spy is a bat. it was rlly hard illustrating sniper and soldier properly though because there are no birds or reptiles in happy tree friends as far as i know? theres a fucking sentient pickle but not even so much as a robin or a lizard lol

anyways very weird random post but i hope u enjoy it anyways

[hadesisonlyalad]

yk i dont post a lot on tumblr but we all saw that red flags post so im gonna take a moment of ur time to say something on each merc and the red flags listed for them. im doing a read more incase u havent seen the “mercs red flags” headcanon post and it does not flood ur page

both the medic and engie things with “not wanting to spend time with you/wont make time for you” is SUCH bullshit if that was the case they wouldnt even date you. and then ur telling me engie tf2, DELL CONAGHER, would NEVER want to take you on a date? like ever??? u are INSANE. And then sorry to tackle medic and engie in the same paragraph but they had a lot of common “””””red flags””””” that were listed. why would he yell at you. he hardly even yells in general (based off comics and voice lines) if anything hes just kinda a loud person 💀 AND YOU BRINGING UP ONE THING WONT MAKE HIM SUDDENLY IGNORE YOU FOR DAYS LIKE?? he KNOWS hes committing medical malpractice btw. he would not leave you for bringing that up he is WELL AWARE of what hes doing. and we see him CANONICALLY DISCIPLINE ARCHIMEDES IN MEET THE MEDIC, WHY WOULD HE TOLERATE HIS BIRDS ATTACKING YOU????

also why are we listing an addiction as a “red flag” what the fuck is wrong with you. i get not wanting to date someone with an addiction, its a valid concern, but thats SO much more serious than a “red flag” or “ick”??? LIKE ARE YOU OKAYYYY???????

AND THEN HEAVY’S RED FLAG IS “he has trauma” FUCKING. PACK IT UP GUYS IG IF YOU HAVE TRAUMA YOU CAN NEVER BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. (/s) WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

i’m fine with the miss pauling ones, at least two of them, because yeah, it’s canon that she doesn’t have the most time and i imagine if ur not a merc or work in that area a relationship might be a bit hard? but shes an honest person, i don’t think she’s gonna lie to you. idk im very neutral about the pauling ones, if anything theyre the most in character of this shithole list.

all i have to say for pyro is like. yk those people who hc pyro as aroace except theyre super weird about it? like theyre either infantilizing them or have weird ableist feelings about pyro? yeah thats the vibes im getting. actually wait where did u pull codependent pyro from actually wtf

i think the “tryna live like hes 20” thing for spy is really fucking funny 💀 like go girl go live through that middle age crisis!!/j no but seriously. hes dating you hes gonna think you’re a 10, and even then YOU’RE SAYING IF YOU AGE AT ALL HE’LL LEAVE YOU??? CANON MILF LOVER SPY. “OFF TO VISIT YOUR MOTHER!” SPY TF2. WILL LEAVE YOU IF YOU GET OLD AND AGE AT ALL…? HE LIKES HIS WOMEN LIKE HE LIKES HIS WINE MOTHERFUCKER: AGED. sorry bad joke lets keep going uh- i think the other hcs are garbage too i just really hate specifically this spy hc. just this one specifically.

im not a sniper connoisseur, my friend will is way better versed in sniper’s characterization, but even i know this isnt sniper. “thinks if he argues long enough he’ll win”…? “cannot support you in anything”?!!?! “IF YOU’RE HIS FRIEND AND YOU TWO GET INTO A BAD ARGUMENT PREPARE TO NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN” IM GENUINELY AT A LOSS FOR WORDS. I JUST. I DONT..? WHAT DO I EVEN SAY. I DONT K N O W WHAT TO SAY. BUT IF I DID KNOW WHAT TO SAY I’D BE SAYING VERY BAD THINGS.

i dont think scout is misogynistic- i see why people think that but me personally i just think he has no game and people mistake it as violent misogyny for some reason. but. listen we know scout is a dick we do okay but he loves women. why would he cheat on you.? bro he’d be glad u picked him 😭 AND THEN THE PERIOD THING?? he was raised by a SINGLE MOM do you REALLY think shes gonna raise him and let him think that way about a natural body function. im speaking entirely from the single mom experience and the answer is NO!!!! also how is loving your mother a red flag. being the youngest child is also a red flag, i guess. and having issues with his dad. (/s) also, second verse same as the first: IF HES DATING YOU HE THINKS YOU’RE A 10 WHAT IS SO HARD TO FUCKING GET ABOUT THISHXWHBVWBWBXvqvsbs?1?2!2’wndjwke

uhhh soldier wasnt. here for some reason. so nothing to say about him.

anyway leave ur opinions below. i rly dont wanna get into any tumblr drama or internet drama at all bc it scares me dearly and im always self conscious about leaving a bad digital footprint especially over something as petty as tf2 drama but i cannot stand for this slander I CANNOT‼️‼️‼️‼️ sorry if u also think im mischaracterizing anyone here i only put hours of studying into my fav mercs and thats. abt it,, listen im silly okay

[david-tennant-addict]

can you do TF2 Heavy headcanons, like a sort of alphabet? I saw the one that you did with the Sniper, if you want you can do it in the same genre!

OMG! Yes I’ll give you a lovely heavy nsfw alphabet headcannons! I LOVE that big adorable guy!

——MINORS DNI——

Heavy NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He is so sweet. He will clean up and even read you on of his favorite books. Let’s just hope you know Russian

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves his hands because of how big they are 😏. He loves your hips because he can wrap his hands around them so easily

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He secretly love to cum in you or on your back

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He likes to use toys either you use them on him or he uses them on you

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He isn’t too experienced but he’s read a few smuts in his free time

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He likes being ridden because he can use you like a flesh light but also because he can see your face. As long as he can see your face he loves the position

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Nope unless something funny happens

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He is well groomed but sometimes he’s too busy to keep up with it so he’s hairy

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Very. He likes to moment to be loving but rough

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Not unless he SUPER pent up

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Bondage either one you or him

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

anywhere in private

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

you say or do something smart especially if you speak Russian to him he’s like puddy

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I would say hurting you but….there’s medic so I guess killing you

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

he’s a 6/10 and he prefers to give rather than receive but he doesn’t mind to receive once in awhile

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

SUPER fast

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

3 times a month. He’s not a big fan of it but if you need it he’ll give it to you

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’ll take risks once it awhile but not often and that’s with fucking in public

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can go for a good 4 rounds before he’s out. He lasts for about 4 minutes

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t own toys but he’s not opposed to using them as I stated before

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He’s fair unless if your unfair

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He grunts but he’s not too loud unless he’s overstimulated which is rare

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) he likes to speak Russian while doing it

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he’s fucking HUGE. I mean like 12 inches at most. Manz has a fuckin foot long!

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

about a 4/10 not too high but he still yearns

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he falls asleep in like 10 minutes after he makes sure you’re comfortable and safe

—————————————————————

I hope you liked it! I tried my best

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

asking you this because you have good interpretations of the mercs:

what animals would they all be ?

im personally fond of bear heavy, rabbit scout, dog soldier, and cat spy even if they're all very obvious, but id love to know if u have more interesting answers

Hmmm much to think about... full disclosure I'm taking a bunch of inspiration from my sweet sweet boyfriend @skeletonsonparade 's old-ish furry designs

Scout: My brother has a very strong "Scout is a tarantula" headcanon and I need to hand that one to him Scout really is a tarantula

Soldier: I understand where dog Soldier comes from but tbh I think Soldier would also be a great horse

Pyro: Pyro

Demo: Boyfriend enlightened me to Demo tf2 badger design and waow I like that so much... idk I don't think someone Needs to be an animal that is from the country they are from that's lame BUT I think badger furry Demo is really cute bc u can make the face stripes like his facial hair and that's fun

Heavy: Yeah he's a bear. Tf2 canon wins this one

Engie: Idk I really love some kind of dog for him. He feels like a doggish kinda person. I can't articulate this further just understand my vision

Medic: Again my sweet sweet boyfriend has a deer/stag Medic design and I love that. I think wolf Medic is also pretty common but idk giving Medic "prey animal rage" ties in really well with how PLAYING Medic feels like. He's definitely something with antlers

Sniper: Cuppy dog city ahhh I wanna go

Spy: Cat Spy is sooo fun but I've also seen a ton of fox Spies before and I like that too. Cats cover the prissiness and foxes cover the wiliness very nicely. Every time fic makes his first name "Renard" I know what you are

[revol-atled-rehtona]

i just watched both fnaf vs tf2 1 and 2 for the first time (bc Im a COWARD) and. ,., [CW: ofc tf2 vs fnaf 2 spoilers]

THIS GODDAMN INTERACTION MAKES ME GIGGLE SO BADLY ASDGJASGDJASGDADJASDGHJ AAA I LOVE THEM SO MUCH The way he just shuts up bc heavy said no is so HEHEHEHHE for me JHASGJDGAJDHASDGAGDJAGDJAD AND HE'S LIKE THAT THE WHOLE THING LIKE OMGGG 😭😭😭

The way they're just.,.,. TOGETHER in this thing is so beautiful to me. They seem so close to eachother I LOVETHEMMM

THE WAY HE FIGHTS PUPPET BC SHE HURT HEAVY IS SO FUNNY HGEWJHGAJSDGAJDHASA GIRL U AINT DOIN NOTHIN!!! WHAT U HITTIN!!!!!

He enjoyed himself so badly in this part JAGJDSGASDJ thebitch was giggling kicking his feet the whole time WHEN HEAVY PICKED HIM UP HE WAS SMILING SO WIDELY AJSDGAJSDHGASDJA AASDAJDGA I LOVETHEM

And lastly. They were going to make out so badly in this part is such a shame william fagton arrived I bet 100 bajillion dollars they would've had.

In conclusion, they're so gay for eachother it makes them look stupid. I love heavymedic

[vivistf2brainroot]

Haha, now im like, reading and searching as much tf2 fics that i can find. Since… maybe Wednesday???

AND!!

U remember that one post where i said this idea of a kinda monster AU??

I had some troubles with what demo could be, and thanks to this i think i might make him a werewolf. Ficss with Demo!werewolf where quite nice!! And i felt that it really suited him for some reason, but at the same time someone said highland Minotaur and it just sounds so damn good. I may just doing both drawings of him

And thanks to the persons that commented/reposted, the idea of a Zombie/gosht Solly sounded really good!!!

So by now is like this

Medic: white dove Harpy!!

Pyro: small dragon, someone said salamander, so i gotta search about if

Heavy: still cant decide, but someone said Djerman, idk whats’s that so i gotta search it

Spy: skin-walker… yea cryptid. I don’t care at this point, but if y’all have more changing form creatures/monster then please tell me

Solly: i was thinking on a mix between a Zombie and a gosht, gotta make the sketch and post it so y’all have a image of it

Demo: werewolf or highland Minotaur, I’ll do both

Sniper: there were suggest of, mothman, owlman, and the hercules stymphalian birds, tbh i like this idea at first but then i thought about his “human” form u know?? And to make sniper a single bird… is not the best. BUT!!, u know the mr hoots cosmetic?? What if mr hoots is a stymphalian birds instead of an owl and work as its rifle?? stymphalian birds are supposed to have a great aim, if im not wrong they shoot their feathers to their objective

Scout: suggestions of him as a satyr, i have also seen this but tbh i don’t really like it, i feel that it don’t actually fit scout, so still gotta search, i was thinking in some fast creature, having in mind he is the faster class in all the game

Engi: i got icarus, talos and dwarf suggest for Engi, i loved all, sadly i don’t know how to draw meca so a talus!Engi might not end up looking so pretty, but dwarf and icarus Engi??? I might end up drawing both

And sadly i might not be able to do the drawings as soon as i would like to, is exams week and then i gotta get a job cuz of personal reasons, if u want to draw this ideas then just do it!!, there is no problem with it!!!

Edit:

so a friend of mine reminded me that sniper actually had a cosmetic owl head, consequently, im going to draw him as an owlman.

[kellanved-ammanas]

TF2 Drabbles: Heavy/Medic/Soldier, Spy & Soldier - Love Triangle

Summary: can I request romantic Medic/Soldier/Heavy poly hurt/comfort Like the three are flirting but pining cuz they're clueless to the others flirting And someone has to be like omg are u guys blind?

~

It had started with just Medic and Heavy flirting with each but then Soldier had somehow taken a liking to Medic too. Whether or not his response to that truly counted as flirting or not was up for debate but either way it resulted in him spending more time with Medic and thus Heavy too. Now all three of them were in a messy tangle of a love triangle.

At first the drama of it had been entertaining. Which one of them would finally make a real move first? On who? And would they sort it out comfortably for all three of them or would someone be excluded?

Without much else of interest going on around the base, Spy was thoroughly invested in the outcome regardless of what it was. Except there was no outcome. They just kept dancing around each other in an endless frustrating display of mutual but un-acted upon romantic affection.

Soldier not realizing his affections were returned made sense, he was not particularly emotionally intelligent. And Medic, as smart as he was in his field of scientific study, was also not much of a people-person and thus him not realizing either made sense. Heavy though, he should know better. Granted being in the midst of such a thing would make it harder to see but still, he should have an idea of it at least. Apparently he’d gone temporarily emotionally blind though. All combined, it resulted in the lot of them getting nowhere in their mutual pining and caused an endless amount of frustration for Spy.

Normally Spy did not care to interfere in such affairs. It was far more fun to watch how things played out on their own. But at the rate things were going, the war was likely to end long before anything changed or progressed. He simply had to do something.

Having made his decision, he snuffed out the butt of his cigarette in the ash tray on the table by his chair and stood. He didn’t go anywhere yet though because… what should he do? If he was going to meddle anyway he should probably go for the best outcome; the three of them settling into a happy poly relationship. What was the best way to go about getting that result though?

Given how things were currently going, subtle pushes and hints weren’t likely to do much. Pushing too hard would be met with resistance and perhaps just make things worse. There was one possible entry point though. It might not work but it was probably his best bet.

***

“Bonjour, Soldier!”

Drawing his shovel, Solider snapped to face the source of the voice that came coupled with the familiar sound of a decloak; the far corner. Lucky for Spy, he was so far away else Soldier likely would’ve hit him before realizing they were on the same side. Probably anyway, it could still be the enemy Spy in disguise but it’d but stupid to reveal himself like this.

“Why are you in my room, Spy?” he asked as he folded his shovel back up to hook onto his belt again. This was Soldier’s private space, Spy shouldn’t be in here.

Spy didn’t move from his spot, leaning back casually in the corner. “I just wanted to ask you something. Is that all right?”

“Well… I suppose.” Soldier had nothing to hide from his teammates. And if it was a suspicious question he’d know it was the enemy Spy after all and would capture him to interrogate him instead.

“You’ve been spending an awful lot of time with Medic and Heavy. Why is that?”

“I like them. What other reason do I need?”

“None. Just, I was thinking you might be secretly dating. I wasn’t sure so I thought I’d ask.”

“Well… we’re not.”

“You hesitated, meaning perhaps that you would like to be?”

Soldier took a breath, intending to say ‘no’ but… “I don’t know.” The thought was not one he’d had before, he didn’t mind it though. At the same time… “I couldn’t even if I wanted to. They like each other.” Even Soldier could see that. “I wouldn’t want to get between them.” He wanted them to be happy even if that left him out. Being their friend was enough and Soldier was proud to be so.

“You wouldn’t have to assuming they both wanted to date you too.” Spy said it so casually as if that were a perfectly normal thought to have.

“Is that allowed? Dating two people at once?”

“Of course it is. Lots of people do it. I’ve done it a few times, myself. But, I suppose I got the answer I desired. Thanks for indulging my curiosity. I must bid you adieu now.” Spy finally pushed off the corner and with a wave of his hand, sauntered out of Soldier’s Room, closing the door softly behind him.

Soldier stared after him. Dating two people at once was not something he’d ever consider before. Couples were all he ever saw but… if someone loved two people why not date both of them? Assuming both reciprocated those feelings anyway. Maybe… Soldier could ask Heavy and Medic about it tomorrow. Not necessarily as a proposition for the three of them, just as a thought Soldier was suddenly having because it was an interesting idea.

[themanwhomadeamonster]

Warframe: 7, 8, 9, 10

TF2: 6

thank u for letting me be an annoying cunt 😌

WARFRAME ASKS

7. What character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because of how the fandom acts about them?

the closest i can say is wisp. i technically don't hate wisp, i love her both as a warframe to play as well as aesthetically but also she is so obviously tryhard sexybait, and with the amount of porn i've seen it just goes around to becoming a complete turnoff. i automatically hate any porn fanart of wisp but i love love love fanart of wisp that shows off her beauty in other ways. u can show erotic beauty without being straight up pornographic

i do recognise the hypocrisy in this with the shit i've drawn of other warframes but i like to think it's just me balancing everything out

8. Common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

again, not everyone but a BIG FUCKING CHUNK of the fandom: margulis isn't a bad choice and is just as much of an identity of "her" as the other facets of her identity (though i am aware of how many ppl chose margulis solely bc boobs and face, rip). they're parts of a whole, just that post-new war she has to prioritise different values. i'm someone who very much appreciates compassionate characters and i think the margulis identity encapsulates that very well and in some cases would be helpful especially for the drifter/operator. but i personally believed that natah was a clean slate for "her" to start over, and that post-new war needed a driving force to protect in the grand scheme of things - compassion wouldn't be enough

somehow it's only lotus-pickers who seem to have a superiority complex over this - i've never seen a natah or margulis picker who had beef over what other ppl chose 🙃

9. worst part of canon

all of the early quests especially alad v's questline have bloody awful storytelling. alad v's quests are a complete mess and even i still don't know the proper order of what happened to him (i'm pretty sure i did all his quests save for the amalgam arc in reverse). almost all of the early quests are based on retired events/operations and new players aren't even given background summaries explaining them. vor's prize as a tutorial and story quest is HORRIBLE. so much pre-sacrifice stuff has been retconned, even lore from tsd/coh/tww

10. worst part of fanon

any ppl who thought natah/lotus deserved to die for 'betraying' the operator and were even hoping we'd have the option to kill her LMFAOOOOO y'all stupid to think they'd include that

runner up contender: THAT artist who made not-explicit-but-is-most-definitely-horny fanart of nef anyo cannibalising solaris united workers

TF2 ASKS

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

scout/sniper - i fucking hate that ship i see it everywhere and is the only tf2 ship tag i have blocked on tumblr. most basic bitch shit ever

heavy/medic - i love this ship with all my heart but its shippers need to calm the fuck down bc they think this ship is canon just bc the voice actors ship it as well. at best it's heavily implied in game but is ultimately still not canon, and shippers get so mad when you tell them that. very a much a "stop making the rest of us look bad" moment

ask game here!